#does everyone get married in their fucking 20s

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

A Few Jhad Incorrect Quotes More

The long awaited(?) fifth installment of my Jhad Incorrect Quotes Series.

———

Thad: Did J just tell me she loved me for the first time?

Uzi: Yeah, she did.

Thad: And did I just do finger guns back?

Uzi: Yeah, you did.

———

Rebecca: I like your top, J!

Thad: (Jokingly) I have a name, you know.

J: (Pinches the bridge of her “nose”) *Sighs* Why? Why are you like this?

———

Thad: (Ecstatic) J and I got married!!

Uzi: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

———

Thad: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

J: Um...Neat.

(Later)

J: (Lying face down on her bed) I said "Neat," Uzi. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Uzi: (Reading a book) Don't beat yourself up too much, J. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when N confessed his love for me?

J: (Looks up) Didn't you thank him?

Uzi: (Closes the book and looks at the ceiling) I fucking thanked him.

———

N: Why is J crying on the floor?

V: She’s drunk.

N: And?

V: She saw a picture of Thad’s wife.

N: But… she’s Thad’s wife.

V: I know.

———

Uzi: I sleep with sick as hell railgun under my pillow.

Doll: Я сплю с ножом.

Thad: Both of you are so weird.

Uzi: (Cocks an eyebrow) Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Thad: J.

———

J: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

Thad: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?

J: I don't know, surprise me!

———

J: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Thad: It was autocorrect.

J: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Thad: Yes.

———

Khan: (Sees J and Thad together) They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Nori: (Caught off guard) You mean... you ship them?

———

Thad: Are we fighting or flirting?

J: Wha- I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck!

Thad: Your point?

———

J: (Rocket launcher at the ready) Get the fuck out!

Uzi: (Unfazed) What's up your ass this morning?

Thad: (Groggily walks in) *Yawn* ...Hey.

Uzi: Hmm... never mind. (Runs out of the pod to tell the others)

J: WAIT NO!

———

Darren: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with J recently.

Thad: No, Darren, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Darren: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Thad: No! You're the only one for me.

Darren: Is that so?

Thad: I promise! J and I are just dating, okay? She’s my girlfriend.

Darren: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Thad: You are still my one and only best friend! She’s just the love of my life, nothing more!

Darren: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Thad: Of course bro!

Darren: (Takes off his sunglasses, teary-eyed) Bro...

J: (Deeply confused) What the…?

———

Thad: Talk dirty to me, baby~

J: The dishes.

Thad: Wh-

J: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

———

(J comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Thad’s bedroom.)

Thad: Babe, are you… coming to bed?

J: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a boyfriend.

(J falls face first on the ground and immediately falls asleep)

Thad: (Shakes his head)

———

N: If you want my advice-

J: No offense but you're the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your girlfriend. Multiple times.

N: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, she’s also tried to kill me.

Uzi: It's true. It was mutually attempted murder.

———

J: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Uzi: Throw rocks at he.

Lizzy: Hot Dogs.

Doll: Убей его.

J: Thanks guys.

———

J: I love you.

Thad: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

(They kiss passionately)

V: (To Uzi) You owe me 20 dollars.

———

J: Thad, you love me, right?

Thad: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

———

J: (Comes out of the changing room wearing silk pants) How does this look?

Thad: Like it slips on and off really easily.

J: (Blushes)

Thad: (Blushes) No, I didn't mean it like that-!

Lizzy: (Teasingly) We know what you meant~

———

Cyn/The Absolute Solver: Did you take out Thad as I requested?

J: Thad has been taken out, yes.

Cyn/The Absolute Solver: Giggle. Excellent, now to-

J: It was a great restaurant. We had a romantic candlelit dinner and Thad proposed afterwards, we're filing the wedding papers.

Cyn/The Absolute Solver: ಠ_ಠ

———

Thad: (Smiling proudly) Well, J and I finally did it!

The Rest of the Squad: *Gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Thad: That's right... We kissed!

The Rest of the Squad: ಠ_ಠ

———

J: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Thad: But, babe, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

J: (Flustered) O-oh. Well… Wait. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?

Thad: …Is it working?

———

J: You look good in that hoodie.

Thad: You know where else l'd look good?

J: (Zero hesitation) My bed.

Thad: (At the same time) By your side- Wait, what?

J: (Blushing and averting her gaze) Nothing!

———

Thad: Bro-

J: No, no, hold up, rewind. My tongue was down your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro!?

———

[bitegore]

ok this isnt meant to be a dig or anything but it's always really funny to me when people like just cracking 30 are like "omg you're in your early twenties, you're a babyyyyyy"

babe you're like barely 30, you're a baby too. You're a blink and a half older than me. I spend too much time around people over 50, the difference between 23 and 33 is a few years at a job and a little more distance from living in your parents' house but it's like, nothing. the gap closes every time you breathe and every time i move. the difference between you and me is like one-fifteenth the difference between you and my dad's friend Joe or whatever. don't worry you'll get to live more life too, but don't kid yourself.

and this is doubled when it's coming from a 25-year-old currently experiencing a crisis of age because they're soooo old, they're 25, the horror! You are twenty-five. We have an age difference of three years. Your concern over this is embarrassing for you and highly entertaining for me. But like don't kid yourself here. You are 25. You are a like a fucking baby to me.

[skhardwarevers1]

spent two hours studying and I’m STILL thinking about Cassie

[hollenka99]

Thinking of "The worst thing that has ever happened to me has already happened" to combat the pain of realising all the shit Asrit Frien went through all happened before she was 40.

[isakvaltersnake]

things from the 2001 television programme band of brothers that haunt me to this day:

- we’re paratroopers lieutenant, we’re supposed to be surrounded. not to be your 60 year old military obsessed uncle about it but that line goes hard

- nix’s little giggle he does sometimes

- I’ll never forgive them for leaving gene’s medic training out of their training montage. in fact you know what? go back in time, film a parallel sequel of the other 9 eps from gene’s pov

- popeye’s “they called you guys too?” and the way his accent specifically scratches my brain

- they gave me moose heyliger and his massachusetts accent for like 20 minutes then the narrative snatched him away from me and i still miss him

- the way meehan looks at winters after he tells him to close the flap, in fact let’s talk about how every single one of winters’ commanders are obsessed with him in one way or another he truly is the it girl

- the chaos and fear that precedes gene and the calm and comfort that follows him

- I know everyone thinks “we’ll go to chicago, I’ll take you there” is the insane line but the one that actually makes me lose sleep is “what, and give up all this?” THAT MAN SAID I WOULD RATHER LIVE THROUGH THE HORRORS OF WAR THAN HAVE LIVED MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU

- alley is So Beautiful and I don’t think we collectively talk about it enough

- babe being some rando replacement in episode three and whilst his other replacement friends are being absolutely roasted he is immediately adopted by bill and then gets gene fucking roe of all people to connect to him?? he’s too powerful I need to study him

- speirs being this ghoulish terrifying boogeyman until lip is anywhere near him then he’s suddenly dimples and kicking his feet and giggling

- speaking of lip and speirs their little sarcastic in jokes, lip finishing speirs’ sentences fml it’s giving married

- you been working out? IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?? LIEB YOU SLUT?? THEN YOURE GONNA LAY IN HIS BED WAITING FOR HIM??? insane behaviour

- the unexplored but high potential friendships and the way I wanted like 16 more episodes for shifty and lip, nix and luz, nix and web, sisk and perconte, winters and gene, grant and tab, lieb and alley, speirs and harry, etc

- the more haggard and bitchy nix gets the hotter he gets. he also must be studied.

- “you should pack up those ears and go home” ok sobel kinda ate with that one ngl

- speaking of sobel the little confused/bewildered/piss-pants faces he makes david schwimmer the actor you are

- the silly little wide stance pennywise ass run hall does before he gets murked RIP king

- klepto speirs ilysm

- joe toye and his brass knuckles are v sexy

- sink letting nix give winters his oak leaves was very shipper girl of him

- lip harry nix speirs winters in the eagle’s nest dream blunt rotation

- the unsustainable amount of cunt served by nix, frank, babe, and luz at all times is truly a marvel

- tab really checked lip’s dick and balls mid battle and honestly that’s friendship

- bit parts for simon pegg, tom hardy, andrew scott, james mcavoy, michael fassbender, jimmy fallon ?? bob casting director you will always be famous

- peacock is so fine if he was even a little good at his job I’d be obsessed with him (special shout out to the scene of him getting sent home on furlough)

- I could list out every one of their meaningful little moments together but really it’s babe and gene just tethering and grounding each other and how they seem to gravitate to each other out of blind instinct? that’s some Brontë whatever our souls are made of bullshit I’m afraid

- ok I know I said I wasn’t talking about little meaningful moments but gene staring across the convent at where babe is sitting, lost in the peace

-bull in replacements getting imprinted on by a bunch of baby ducks and being SO PLEASED ABOUT IT he’s not the stepfather, he’s the father that stepped up

- speaking of, the underutilization of bull in the back half is such an out of character bad call

- you are officers, you are grown ups, you oughta know. HE’S RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT AND THAT’S ON GENE BEING THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO TELL OFF WINTERS

- I know nix and winters are married and whatever but the real married couple behaviour is luz constantly pissing off joe and joe immediately letting it go

- lip and speirs and their mutual competency kink

- I’M REAL SORRY FRANK skinny ilysm

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

The itch

An: so I’ve never written for TUA, I think, I haven’t written anything in like a long time cause my brain is made of worms most days, but the new season and mostly five in his new attitude? Personality? His almost soft tired of it all way, gives me the feelings. As a 28 year old women it’s odd that a 68 year old trapped in a 18 year old body works for me like it does but hey, I’ve liked weirder (cough I was in the Hamilton fandom cough) so enjoy this sort of bonding with Lila over the new mundane life and the exhausting reality of having to live it, because I love Lila and hate what they did to her and fives characters with the whole 7 year time line romance. Like why make her a mum of 3 and married to Fives brother just to ruin it like that. But anyway enjoy this weird fic.

Readers power: molecular manipulation, think piper from charmed, overhaul from my hero, uhhh it’s hard to explain but basically it means you can make things explode, freeze people and things by fucking with the molecular structure of said thing.

——————————————————————-

You wanted to scream, to smash things, to burn yours and fives apartment down, it had been six years of calm, six years of learning to enjoy ‘normal’. Six years of working at dead end jobs because you didn’t pass the god damn psych evaluation for the CIA, somehow you are far more ‘unhinged’ than your husband.

You and five spent 30 years together, a decade in an apocalyptic wasteland when you ended up teleported there by mistake, and then 20 years at the commission becoming trained and ruthless assassins. Now, now Five worked doing CIA investigations and you got stuck working at a grocery store gas station. It was calm, it was normal, it was absolute hell on earth and made your skin itch.

So sitting in the parking lot of the play place for your nieces 6th birthday, you didn’t know why you couldn’t make yourself leave your car, five was already here, he had texted you as much, everyone else minus Viktor who was in Canada, and Allison who hasn’t shown her face irl to any of her siblings in the 6 years, you just needed to get out of the car and walk in with the gift you signed from both you and five for Gracie. It was a set of toy weapons, knives like her dads old ones, and a few other random ‘play pretend’ things.

Closing your eyes you leaned your head back against the head rest, taking a deep breath. Almost hitting the gas when the passenger side door opened and slammed closed. Turning eyes wide you saw Lila, the exhausted mothers face blank staring forward

“I just needed a minute, just needed” you nodded

“Take all the minutes you need. I assume it’s like pulling teeth in there with Diego?” Lila nodded sighing loudly

“Fives the same way, just on other stuff, like deciding if he wants to go out to dinner or stay in and order pizza, or if he needs new underwear because the ones he has have so many holes in surprised they still count as underwear, or just simple things like the dishes, like how hard is it to wash a cup, it shouldn’t be as hard as it is, how hard is it to just tell me when you need a quiet night cause work was stressful, and you are exhausted from stupid people all day, i work retail, he acts like I don’t understand being tired of idiots…I just…” you paused looking back out the windshield

“It’s like your skin is on fire and nothing stops the itch of being a once highly skilled assassin who could fuck with peoples molecules and freeze them in time or make them explode?” You nodded looking at her

“I find myself flicking my hands out and remembering I can’t just blow up or freeze people anymore, it’s like an itch and anytime I explain it to five he just…”

“Doesn’t listen? Or doesn’t understand that you are used to how your life was and now that it’s different, it’s not bad but it’s eye burning mundane clock ticking by slower then ever reality?”

Nodding you sighed

“Diego, he wants to listen, he just, from what five always told me he had a hard time understanding others because his brain is just, frazzled and he feels inadequate, how they grew up I guess shaped them in every timeline. Five is just used to being alone he was alone for 30 years before we met, then I popped up and it’s just. I don’t think he gets that sometimes I just need him to..”

“Let you Help with the itching”

You nodded smiling at her

“He just, it’s been a lot, and we haven’t quite got the ‘normal life’ down just yet.” Lila nodded

“It’s not easy in normal marriage land either, 3 kids and a chunky husband who, doesn’t make it easier is….”

“Not helping the itching. Well how about me and you, when the itch gets too bad, we help each other? Maybe find a way to do something, go to a rage room? Do a fighting class something to feel the….rush? Of what we did before. Have Klaus or someone babysit the kids, be me and you and just….”

“Fighting each other like the before days?” You laughed nodding

“Yeah…I miss getting to kick your ass and having you kick mine…”

Lila laughed looking around

“We could start a fight club, you, me, Ben when he gets out of prison. Just….maybe we’ll get used to normal eventually….” You frowned nodding

“You know if you ever need anything, help with the kids, a friend to vent to when Diego is being Diego…I’m not to far from your guys place. I can always swing by, let the munchkin tornados beat up on auntie Y/N.” You smiled at her for all the mess you and her had been in against each other, she had become one of your closest friends and family members through it all.

Soon enough you finally made your way into the building, the screams of children everywhere, the smell of sugar and something faintly child everywhere. You spotted five by the ball pit, speaking with Ben, walking over you hugged five from behind sighing as you rested your forehead against his back

“Hello, love.” You squeezed him in response before looking up and over to Ben

“Ahh Benjamin, free from jail, good to see you didn’t die, love that you still look like you want to murder us all” Ben didn’t laugh, just glared at you before sighing

“Not in the snark mood got it.” You felt five squeeze your arm a bit pulling away from you, making you groan

Turning to fully look at you, he looked you over smiling softly

“How was work?” You looked at him blinking slowly before sighing and planting your forehead on his chest, groaning

“Ahh I see” his hand rubbed your back softly, his other lifting the beer to his lips.

“People are stupid. How hard is it to put a gas nozzle in a car….”

“Apparently impossible if what you tell me says anything” you looked at him nodding before turning to look around

“10 bucks says Diego forgets to put up the piñata like Lila asked him” five laughed slightly

“Nah 20 says Lila has a mental breakdown before cake is served” you looked over to where Lila stood with Gracie helping the young girl fix her party hat,

“Nah I think she has a breakdown after presents when she sees what we got Gracie” five laughed looking down at you, brushing the stray hair from your face, smiling at him you sighed softly again,

it seemed even if you wanted to rip your hair out from the new ‘normal’ reality you all had to live in, even if your skin itched from the need to return back to what life was before somehow, it was nice that you still had small moments, where normal wasn’t so bad, normal birthday parties for your nieces and nephews, seemingly normal holidays, and normal, non murder happy work. As much as you loathed admitting it, sometimes it was nice. Like now, now was nice.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not taking my ADHD meds?

I (m 21) have ADHD. My girlfriend (20) does not. We’ve been dating for just over a year. I don’t like taking my ADHD meds bc 1) they’re expensive, 2) it’s too difficult for me to maintain a regular schedule which makes them basically useless, and mostly, 3) I don’t like how they make me feel. I feel more like myself when I don’t take them.

My girlfriend gets really frustrated/angry at me when I’m off my meds. She says I’m too irresponsible and I forget when we have dates planned, when we have uni assessments due (we both do the same degree), I lose things all the time, things like that. I tell her that’s just part of who I am, and if she cares about me she just needs to deal with that.

She likes to be the boss in most situations, and my friends have said she’s controlling. I’ve given up smoking for her, and I’ve converted to Christianity for her bc she doesn’t believe in sex before marriage (side note: I’m bisexual but she thinks same sex attraction is a sin. We don’t really talk about it but it does bother me a bit). I honestly don’t mind her calling the shots most of the time, and I really care about her so much. I can imagine getting married to her one day (we’d both be happy to get married young, just out of uni). She can come across as super tough and cold when u first meet her, and I think that’s why my friends think she’s controlling, but really she’s just insecure like everyone else and acting tough is how she deals with that. When we’re alone she’s soft and gentle and smiley, and I like that she saves that side of her just for me.

But this is something that really pisses me off that she tries to control. She says I’m not thinking about her and our relationship by not taking my ADHD medication, and it’s damaging our relationship. I tell her she needs to learn how to be more flexible and that this is real me. It’s only damaging our relationship bc she’s making it a problem. Yeah, I fuck up more often when I’m not on my meds, but I’ve already made huge life changes for her, and it doesn’t feel fair, basically. My friends agree with me, but they don’t like my gf, so I’m not exactly taking them at their word.

Am I the asshole??

What are these acronyms?

[obx-pogue4life]

The Right Path For Us

Summary: Rafe just wants to be able to feel his girl without anything between them and that need turns into a conversation which leads y/n and Rafe to realize they just might finally be ready to start a family together

Warnings: Fluffy smut. Slight breeding kink, begging, swearing, kissing, slight dirty talk, mentions of sex, pregnancy and marriage

"Please baby? Let me feel all of you without a condom,"  my boyfriend Rafe begged. "I need to feel you against my cock. Don't you want to feel me without that barrier in between us? Don't you want to feel my hot cum shoot into you, painting your insides with my seed?

"What I want Rafe, is to not get pregnant by my idiot boyfriend who thinks it's ok to just unload in me freestyle because he wants to feel all of me," I say to him sternly. I'm gonna stick with no.

"Awww come on y/n, what's the worst thing that could happen? You get pregnant? So fucking what! Who cares if I knock you up! You don't want that? Please...I know you. You'd love it if I put a baby in that belly of yours. You'd love carrying around a little Cameron and have everyone know that you belong to me.

I start to blush and Rafe gives me that shit eating grin of his, knowing that what he said is right on the money. "I fucking knew it," he brags.

"OK fine, but just because you technically may not be wrong does not mean I am ready- actually scratch that, that WE are ready for a baby Rafe.

"Pffffftttt," he says looking directly at me. He takes my hand and laces our fingers and leads us to the couch. I follow him but am a little surprised at his sudden silence. We both sit down, him still holding my hand and sit a minute in silence. "Do you know how much I love you, y/n?," he quietly asks, turning to face me.

I mimic his turn on the couch and notice how serious he is. "Of course I do Rafe. I love you just as much, with all my heart," you answer him, grabbing for his other hand. I put it directly over my heart and place my hand over his. "Forever," I say softly. Rafe's face lights up immediately and he moves our hands from my chest to his, repeating the word that means so much to him.

"Forever," he says to me. "I would love nothing more than to start a family with you y/n."

"I'm barely 20 years old," I say desperately trying to come up with reasons to tell this gorgeous man in front of me as to why we should not have a baby right now.

"Well that's a shit reason," he says chuckling. "Just because we're young doesn't mean we aren't ready. We are plenty mature and have plenty of money. NEXT," he says confidently.

"Well...we aren't married, we aren't even engag-," he cut you off with a wave of his hand.

"That is 100% your own doing y/n and you know it. If I had my way, we would have been married a long time ago.

"If you had your way, we would have been married in high school and we might not have made it here because you know perfectly well that it would have been really hard to make an actual marriage work when we still have to worry about getting to homeroom on time and submitting book reports," I say as calmly as I can muster.

We have had this talk many times over the past several years of dating and we both agreed to hold off until I was finished with college and Rafe played a bigger part in his dad's company. I know that him just being a Cameron alone would support us well beyond our means, that is always a big part of our arguments, but it's very important to me to know that we can make it on our own and support ourselves by having real jobs and skills to fall back on just incase we ever needed them. I also wanted to make damn well sure that Rafe knows I loved him despite his money, not because of it and this was a clear way for me to prove that to him; not that he ever questioned it but I never want to give him a reason to. With a family like the Cameron's, there comes a lot of underlying responsibility and a lot of obligations and I never felt ready for all of that, no matter how much I loved Rafe. Well...until now, that is.

"I still think we would have been fine but that was then y/n," he presses. "What about now?"

"Are you actually being serious right now," you say slowly, thinking.

"Serious as a heart attack baby," he states coolly.

"Please baby? You know I will always take care of you and you know how much I love you. It's only a matter of time before you're a Cameron anyway," he smirks at you, leaning in for a kiss. I sigh into his mouth, knowing he's right and struggle to come up with any real reasons why not to at least try to start a family. It probably wouldn't happen right away anyway and I know how much having his own family means to him. I also know he will always make good on his promise to take care of me and to love me. So maybe now could be the right time?

"So I'm not saying yes but-," THERE'S A BUT!, he interrupts.

"Oh my gosh, eager much," I tease him, poking him in the ribs and smiling. "I'm not saying yes but if I were to agree to this, I want to hear you tell me that this just isn't just about sex. I need to hear you without you trying to put the moves on me that you really want this as much as you say you do Rafe because so so help me god, if you're lying to me just to get me to let you fuck me without a condom-," BABY he interrupts again.

"You know me better than that. I would never trick you like that! What kind of a jerky bastard do you think I am?!," he feigns in mock rage.

"I know that," you sigh apologetic. "This is just a huge step for us and I just really need to make sure we both want this for the same reasons."

"We?," he questions, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"Yes, we," I say to him, smiling back happily.

"You know how badly I want you and to start a family together," he says taking his arms and draping them around my neck. I might have started out like a little bit of a jerk earlier but it's just because I love you so much and my need for you clouds my mind sometimes. And I know that sounds like a line but you know in your heart that I mean every word of it. The pleasure we'd feel would just be an added bonus y/n," he smirks at me.

"Is that so?" I say egging him on.

"Oh baby," he says raspily, his eyes filling with lust. "You have no idea how good it's gonna be."

I feel myself gulp as my eyes widen from his confidently naughty confession. My breathing gets a bit faster and Rafe immediately notices my body stiffen in front of him.

"What are you thinking, y/n," he asks me, resting his head against my forehead.

"That I want you," I immediately say and then blush. I can feel Rafe's eyelashes fluttering against my face and the way his breath begins to pick up. He presses his lips to mine in a sweet kiss and I can feel the smile on his face. After a minute he pulls away to look at me.

"What else do you want?," he asks me, his tone desperate to hear my words of affirmation.

"I really want to start a family with you," I tell him earnestly. I always have. I just wasn't sure we were ready for it until...," I look at him as the realization washes over me. "Well... until this exact moment. It just feels so right. The more I hear you talk about it, the more it just makes such perfect sense."

Before I could barely finish my thought his lips were on mine in a fevered panic, needy and wanting, as if he hadn't kissed me in ages. Between breaths he paused only to say how much he loves me and how happy I make him, confirming to me that this was absolutely the right path for us. As he lay me down on the couch, his body is pressed flush against mine as he puts my hands over my head and clutches my wrists. I sigh in complete content as he kisses my neck and I let my eyes close allowing that familiar feeling to start bubbling up inside me.

"Raaaaffeee," I moan out, letting him know how good he's making me feel.

"I know baby," he says in between biting and sucking on my delicate skin. He moves to my mouth and gives me a long, sweet kiss. His tongue melds with mine so perfectly, it makes me wonderfully dizzy and all I can think about is how in love I am with him. When he stops kissing me and pulls away it takes me a second to come back to earth. I open my eyes and find him smiling, staring at me and his necklace dangling right in front of my nose. I playfully grab the chain gently and he leans in and kisses me sweetly on the nose.

"What?," I say giggling. He's still looking at me with that goofy grin on his face and he once again makes me blush.

"Now," he says with a twinkle in his eye. "I just have to get you to agree to marry me."

[rockrosethistle]

"Ted Spankoffski is so tragic" yes yes I agree with you but you know who we don't talk about enough?

The man, the myth, the legend, Ethan Green.

Everyone loves to talk about how much they love him, but you are all forgetting that he is heartbreaking.

So first of all, he loves Lex. Incredibly devoted. And you're thinking, "well obviously he loves his girlfriend?" But I am not exaggerating when I say nearly every decision this man makes is for the sake of making her happy.

He cares about her opinion of him. He cares about how she's feeling. Ethan literally has more emotional intelligence as a 19-20 year old than most grown men do. He was going to propose!

And then his relationship with Hannah. At the ripe old age of 19, Ethan steps into a fatherly role for his girlfriend's kid sister, and he fucking kills it. If he is devoted to Lex, he's protective of Hannah. He dies trying to fight off people that want to hurt her.

The first time we see him in Yellowjacket, he's trying to cheer Hannah up after her shop class accident. On Hannah's birthday, he takes her out to Pizza Pete's even though he doesn't have the money to spare. She is a priority to him. He even wears a little birthday celebration crown.

On top of that, he's a decent guy. Yes, he's not above threatening people or stealing, but his heart is always in the right place when he does it. He puts the effort into his relationship. He is shown apologizing when he fucks up and recognizing his mistakes. He saves Lex and Hannah's life's at the end of Yellowjacket.

Great, right? No. Not great. The narrative is consistently ruining his life.

He dies in Black Friday. Dies in a brutal way while being ambushed for a doll that he didn't have. He actually dies for nothing. And his very last words are "I'll get you to California, Lex. That way you don't gotta cry so much no more." Was Lex in the room? No. He was hallucinating her. Fucking devastating.

And then, his face gets worn by a dark god to torment Hannah. Hannah, one of the people he cared most about, is being toyed with by something wearing Ethan's face. You just know he's watching in the afterlife feeling utterly powerless.

There are timelines where Ethan and Lex accept larger jail sentences so that Hannah isn't left alone. He is not related to Hannah, or Lex. He has no real obligation to do that. He chooses to, for Hannah's sake. And has to spend years in jail.

In Yellowjacket, after all they've been through, after he bought the damn ring, the girls just leave him behind. He gets broken up with via a note while they escape to California. And you know it's for the better, you know it's for his own safety, but it still hurts.

There was even supposed to be a Nightmare Time episode where he comes back from the dead Pet-Cemetery style, murders Hannah, and then is tortured for eternity?? But then the Langs were like "No, actually, everyone would hate this." and thank God because Ethan does not need that on his plate.

Look at this. "We caught you a poki-man." He's too good I miss him so much.

This poor guy does nothing wrong and is constantly being punished. I need in my bones to have a universe where he marries Lex and they get custody of Hannah.

[youronlylie]

hello people in my phone

BOONE head cannon list, just a mix of stuff that'll probably change later ( THERE WILL BE MORE ) 1/?

• He undoubtedly was ripped/heavily worked out being in the ncr, after moving to novac and loosing his wife he undoubtedly lost a lot of muscle but...guys he still is literally like beefed.

• He cannot fucking cook for shit, he understands what shouldn't be put in your body but from there he has no clue.

• Going off of cooking, he has strict times where he eats, like routine from the ncr.

• For some reason he strikes me as a guy who really enjoys fruit whenever he can get his hands on it.

• Cannot tolerate any sort of spice.

• Smells very mettalic, sweaty, like man must.

• Has a soft spot for cats.

• 1000% is not bald, just shaves his head as he probably prefers the look.

• I feel like with a romantic partner, since he isn't one much for talking his love language would be physical touch or gift giving, I could imagine him seeing stuff he knows they'd like and saving it for later, excited to see how they'd react.

• He would definitely have a special place in his heart for fantasy movies, he doesn't seem to be able to express himself well and I feel like the creativity of something like lord of the rings would get him going.

• I seriously cannot pick so I'll include both, he is either an extreme cuddler with a romantic partner or on very rare occasions, he's just terrible at expressing emotion.

• If the courier and him are something like romantic partners he'd definitely never be able to sleep, often awake staring and listening for noises, waiting for the next cascade of legionares but it never happens and he eventually learns that.

• I don't think he'd ever get married again unless it'd be over 20 or so years in the future, it's a type of commitment that I don't think he could mentally handle whatsoever unless he is totally over Carla.

• I definitely do think boone could find love again in another person, he's scared and alone, fearful for any sort of attachment.

• 10000% has really really nice man hands, like large hands with nice fingers.

• Is definitely tall but not close to arcade tall, 6' ish at MOST, I just feel like looking at his build and concept art that he is definitely a tall man.

• Secretly really has a thing for drawing whenever he can, especially when he was nested at novac, sitting up top the dinosaur scribbling stuff on old receipts or whatever else it helps him get his emotions and thoughts out.

• irl he would be so patriotic it's not even funny, like he'd go all out for fourth of July but is the somber type so he'd cook hot dogs and whatever else then sit in the corner and watch everyone else.

• Has a thing for memorizing features, very very very intuitive and will remember almost anything you tell him.

• He is so the type of guy to enjoy snow, like yeah he'd probably be kinda pissy for a bit but if you pushed his buttons enough I feel like he'd mess around with the courier.

• He absolutely like no doubt has nightmares, like the ones where you erupt in cold sweat and your throat is sore.

• If he does sleep like ever, along with nightmares he grips the sheets, rolls around a whole lot, mumbles. In the ncr he was the total opposite, stone faced, layed straight and slept some what peacefully until later on in his ncr years.

• Yearns for someone, even platonic, to just sit beside him, no words and scratch his back and kinda just touch him lightly. I don't think he'd cry but it's something I could imagine would bring him close to tears.

• He absolutely probably finds almost everyone annoying, like, he just is done with everything and doesn't give two shits about what anyone has to say unless the courier puts some sense into him.

• Really disagrees with gambling, just doesn't like it.

• Wishes he had a nice farm house, out somewhere away from everything, where it has everything he needs and could be away from absolutely everyone. ( of course after extracting revenge on the legion )

• He wants to learn how to play guitar, either he has tried and is horrible or has just never gotten the chance, I have a feeling he'd really be into (irl) like classic rock or something smooth.

• Cannot look at people with features his wife had the same, down to personality or looks.

• Absolutely dreads deep down without realizing going back to novac when the courier disbands him.

• He would like having books read to him, he's a listener not a reader, likes hearing people's voices just not his own.

• At a point probably had a nickname for his rifle, something like Beth or something that was a joke between him and Manny.

• Manny 1000% at a point tried hinting to boone or even confessing his love for him, either the point never got across or they got over it together. ( somewhat ish at a point )

• In all reality I play him out to be a really sweet guy, which I can imagine and he can somewhat tend to be but he ultimately really doesn't care, he'll kill in order to get what he wants ( so be it revenge or whatever else ) even if he isn't necessarily fond of it.

• At a point, consumed by guilt he forgets what Carla looks like and that eats him up inside, like the teeth gritting soul crushing ache for revenge, and a year or two leads him to completely forget her complexion.

[its-time-to-write]

I saw you asked for requests a few days ago. I was wondering if you would consider doing another part of the Kent!reader x Jamie fics.

I was thinking they do end up pregnant and its them telling everyone they’re pregnant . I can see everyone being so excited for them. And then Roy is just freaking out.

Since they’ve already discussed wanting to be together forever and have kids I can also see them deciding to get married before the baby is born in a small ceremony like Beard had.

I have quite a few requests about Jamie x reader having a kid, so if that ain’t your jam, maybe don’t read my next few posts😂 It’s totally my jam tho, maybe bc I’m suffering from baby fever again. thanks for requesting and for your patience!!

let’s fall in love for the night  

Jamie’s jiggling his leg up and down so fast that you’re surprised he hasn’t cramped yet. 

“Calm down,” you hiss, hand on his knee. 

“Can’t,” he whispers back. “Roy’s gonna fucking kill me.”  

You have no sympathy for him. “Yeah, and whose fault is that? Yours.”

Jamie shoots you a sideways glance. “Excuse me, this was a team effort.”

“Whatever,” you say. “I still say it’s your fault.”

Molly swoops by to refill your water glasses. “Dinner’s ready in a few minutes. Roy and Phoebe have been working very hard,” she says. 

She raises her eyebrows on the word very, and you’re sure that Roy’s patience is being pushed to his limits. He loves cooking and refuses to let anyone help him, but he also loves your niece and can’t deny her anything she wants. 

“Better go check on them,” she says, leaving you and Jamie alone again in the backyard. 

Jamie resumes the previous conversation and says, “Well, I wasn’t the one wearing that blue thing with the flowers.”

“Well obviously,” you shoot back, “it wouldn’t even fit you.”

Jamie’s stopped jiggling his leg and he places his hand on top of yours. “Oi. Has Roy ever actually killed anyone before, or does he just have serial killer eyebrows?”

You wrinkle your nose and ask, “Why the fuck would I know?”

“You’re his sister,” Jamie replies in Phoebe’s patented duh tone. 

“I’m his baby sister,” you say. “I’m even younger than Molly. If he’s killed someone, they’ve both conspired to make sure I’ll never find out. And hey, don’t make fun of the eyebrows. There’s a good chance this baby’s gonna end up with them.”

“Babe you don’t have ‘em,” Jamie points out. 

“I wax,” you say smugly. “Oh, Molly texted. Time to go inside.”

Jamie groans but lets you lead him to the table. 

—

All told, Phoebe didn’t do half bad. 

“Auntie, I did the potatoes all by myself,” she says. 

You look to Roy for confirmation. He grunts and gives a tiny nod. 

“Great job, Phoebs,” you say. 

Molly sets down her fork. “I’ve been thinking of changing my name back to ‘Kent,’” she says. 

“Brill,” says Jamie. 

“Fucking finally,” Roy says as he hands Phoebe some money. “For future words,” he mouths to her as she counts it before depositing what you’re pretty sure is 20 quid into her pocket. 

Molly says, “We’ll all be the Kents again,” and you can feel Jamie go stiff next to you.

“The fuck’s wrong with you?” Roy asks, and you turn to see Jamie’s gone completely pale. 

You pinch his thigh and he jumps. “Nothing,” he says hurriedly. “Well, not nothing. But, I dunno, don’t want to overshadow Molls’s good news, ya know? It ain’t important.”

You pinch him again. 

“Ok, it’s actually a little fucking important (sorry Phoebe, take it from Roy). But um, maybe you could help me babe?”

He shoots you a pleading look so you take pity on him. You’ve had more than twenty years dealing with Roy, so you’ll let Jamie slide this once.

“Right, so, we’ve been meaning to tell you- I’m having a baby,” you blurt out. 

Roy’s dinner roll gets crushed in his hand as his face goes bright red. 

“What,” he growls, and you’re not sure if you’re more terrified by the absence of “fuck”s or the fact that it was a statement, not a question. 

“That’s wonderful, love!” Molly says before Roy can say anything else. She’s not looking at him but you can practically feel him take psychic damage from the shut up and be happy you prick, message she’s sure to be telepathically sending him. 

“It’s Jamie’s, right?” she continues, taking a bite of salad. 

“The fuck kind of question is that?” you ask indignantly. “Who else’s would it be?”

“You don’t have to pay me for that one,” Phoebe pipes up. “I’ll give you a free tab of one hundred words because of the baby. If it’s a girl, you can have fifty more.”

You grin. “Sounds like a plan.”

“You’re probably going to owe her the fifty, Phoebs,” Molly says. She points to Jamie with her fork. “I mean, look at him. He practically screams ‘girl dad.’” 

“That’s- fucking- great,” Roy garbles out. “‘Scuse me.”

“We’re having a backyard wedding next Saturday, too,” you call after him. “So we probably won’t all be the Kents again.”

You wince as he slams a door from somewhere in the house. 

“He’ll come ‘round,” Molly says consolingly. “Remember how he was with Phoebe? And I was already married!”

You grip Jamie’s hand. “Molls, why can’t he just emote like a regular person? I mean honestly, did our parents fuck him up that bad?”

Molly raises a shoulder in a half shrug. “I don’t know, babe. Think he’s just like us, really, afraid of loving something so he just pushes it all away. And besides, you’re the baby of the family. We’ve always tried to protect you and keep you safe, and sometimes he feels like you’re out of reach.”

You ask, “He told you that?” and Molly just laughs. 

“Not in so many words,” she replies. “But you know how he is.”

“He’s an arsehole,” you grumble. “I’m going to go talk to him.

—

Roy is, predictably, in the backyard. Not many places for him to go and think properly. 

You find him sitting under the tree. 

“Oi,” you say, “budge over.”

He grunts and moves so you’re not quite in the dirt. 

“Can you be sitting on the ground?” he asks. 

“It’s been like three months,” you reply, “That isn’t long enough for me to get stuck places.”

Roy says, “hmm,” but doesn’t offer up anything else so you just sit in silence next to him, pressing your shoulder to his. 

“Why the fuck did it have to be Tartt?” he asks after a beat. “Could’ve been fucking anyone in the fucking world, and you fucking chose him.”

“You like Jamie,” you say in confusion. 

“I don’t,” Roy replies, “he’s a prick. And a fucking footballer. Why’d you have to go for a fucking good-for-nothing footballer? He can’t even be around for his family when they go through shit because he’s going to be busy scoring fucking meaningless goals or some shit.”

That stings for a moment, but you take a good look at Roy’s face. It’s stoic, but shit if you can’t read it like a book. Blood is blood, and you’re a Kent just like him. 

“This isn’t about him, is it. It’s about you. You think you did a shit job as a brother and an uncle so Jamie’s going to be a shit father.”

“I missed out on a lot,” Roy says hoarsely. “And before you say fucking shit, I’m not fucking crying. So shut the fuck about it.”

You grin and wrap your arms around him. “You’re the best big brother a girl could ask for. Took all my cues from you. And anyway, you’ve been there when it counts. Phoebe fucking adores you, practically attached at the hip you two. And yeah, Molls and I missed you when you were at Sunderland and Chelsea and wherever. But… you came back. We needed you, and you came back. So don’t go projecting your stupid self-image on Jamie, because he’s not like that. And you’re not either, you absolute fucking ape-armed frizzy-haired shit-faced twat.”

Roy huffs out a chuckle. “Ape-arms. Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

“Almost went with ‘camel knees.’ Haven’t used that since I was ten, but I thought it might hit too close to home these days.”

Roy laughs for real this time and tilts his head so it’s resting on yours. “Still fucking weird that my little sister’s having a kid.”

You say, “You’ll get over it. Oh, and don’t wear a goddamn T-shirt on Saturday.”

—

It’s rainy, so the backyard wedding becomes a living room wedding, because who really gives a shit? Richmond have a game tomorrow, but for today they’re in yours and Jamie’s house all dressed up (but still in trainers) laughing and smiling as Dani officiates what you’re sure is your dream wedding. 

It’s not the one you and Molly would’ve giggled about as kids when you sneaked from your bed into hers, but everyone you loves is here. 

For once, Jamie’s house almost seems too small.  

(Dani was the only person you two knew who was ordained or whatever. And hey, could you have picked a happier person for it?)

Molly and Keeley had gone out with you to find a white dress, Sam and Phoebe were the flower-people, and Roy walked you down the stairs to where Jamie was standing with Isaac by his side. 

“I’m not fucking crying,” Roy whispers in your ear. “It’s fucking allergies from being in this prick’s house for too long.”

“It’s my house too,” you remind him. 

Roy just sniffs, pats your hand where it’s tucked into his arm, and presses a kiss to your cheek.

All in all, it was pretty great. 

Gifts range from hair products to restaurant gift cards to designer baby clothes, including a tie-dyed onesie from Phoebe. 

“I have a matching one at home,” she explains. 

But now it’s the evening and everyone is gone except family. 

“Can’t believe my baby’s married,” says a beaming Georgie as she ruffles Jamie’s hair from their place on the couch.

“Can’t believe he attained his childhood goal of marrying into the Kent family,” Molly remarks. 

Jamie grins smugly. “What can I say, I’m a fucking goal-getter.”

You’re snuggled in Jamie’s arms, dress exchanged for a white sweatshirt and sweatpants set, courtesy of Rebecca. 

“I’d’ve had a poster of you on me wall if they made one, babe,” Jamie says. “Better sight than that hairy git.”

Roy just rolls his eyes and says “I’m getting another beer.”

“Can you bring me a piece of cake?” you call after him.

“Me too?” Phoebe asks, looking hopefully at Molly. 

Jamie pats your knee. “Don’t think he heard you, love. I’ll get it for ya. You too, Phoebs.” He shoots a wink in her direction, and she giggles. 

“Oi, grandad,” Jamie says, walking into the kitchen. “Did you hear your sister?”

Roy turns around from the fridge with a menacing look.  

“If she has a single moment of unhappiness, I’m going to fucking kill you,” he growls.

“Jesus, sorry,” Jamie says, hands in the air. “What’s got your knickers all in a twist?”

Fucking Jamie, never able to back down from a good squabble with Roy. 

They’re both keeping their voices down because they know if they got caught, no less than three people would be grabbing them by the ear and yelling. 

They might know this from personal experience. 

Roy says, “She’s my little sister. I’d fucking murder for her, and so would Molly. Always tried to make it easier for her when she missed our parents and shit, but it always fucking got to her anyway. Didn’t help that I fucked off to Sunderland at fucking nine, before she was even fucking born. She’s wanted a family of her own for fucking ages, and if you fuck this up for her they will never. Find. Your body.”

Jamie’s not sure Roy’s ever looked this menacing, which is saying something, because he’s Roy fucking Kent. He always looks menacing. 

So he nods and says quietly, “I ain’t gonna fuck it up, Coach. Had a shit dad too. Always wished he were around, except when he was then he’d get all fuckin’ angry and shit. But… still wanted him, y’know? Weird. Anyway, not gonna be like that with her. I want a family too.”

Roy looks straight into his eyes, looking for the barest hint of insincerity. Jamie’s gaze doesn’t waver. He’s not sure of much, but he’s sure of this. He’s sure of you. 

Roy says, “Right,” nods once, then claps Jamie on the shoulder right at his phone dings. 

Jamie pulls out his phone to a text from you that reads, pls stop fangirling over my brother. baby wants cake and so does ur mum

He smiles and tries to figure out how to balance three plates at once. 

[joonipertree]

How Mikey Loves and Proposes

Okay so some of my headcanons for him align with my beliefs however I am very particular about characterisation so I'm gonna keep it balanced.

Genuinely i think Mikey does not need the paperwork, the title or official testimonies to consider himself your husband. Once he has sort of outgrown 'boyfriend', like maybe he's in his mid to late 20s, he wants a new title because boyfriend was very highschool.

Imagine every single thing a couple could be, it has been done. Shared apartments, pets, joint bank accounts. I genuinely think because of how devoted Mikey is with his people, he would be just as devoted to his partner.

He is a people person, he finds his people and he keeps them close to his chest no matter what happens. He has forgiven his people for the unforgiveable. Very very ride or die type of person. So out of everyone, he is devoted and loyal.

I will say, in cases of fucked up timelines...chances are he would either keep you at an arm's length, push you away and disappear or just be cold. He does this because he considers himself a danger. I don't care if he has hurt his friends, I dont care about dark impulses, that man would never lay a hand on you. Dark impulses are strong, his love for you is stronger.

If he does run away, he will never look at another person ever again. Loyal as fuck.

But we are talking about final timeline so LETS GO.

At some point, he just wants matching wedding rings, he just wants people to look at you and then look at your left ring finger and be like 'oh fuck, they're taken'. You're already his, ya'll probably have matching bracelets or necklaces that he bought with his very first paycheck. But he really craves that moment where you call him 'husband'.

He probably felt connected to you in an everlasting sense from the moment ya'll started dating. This commitment was from the soul from the get go.

So why does it take like 6 to 7 years into the relationship to get married? Firstly I just have a general rule that marriage should come after 5 years minimum because it's paperwork and a big process. You can disagree and just add in your own minimum but again...adding that no matter what, ya'll live together, wake up every morning together, build a future together. At some point, you guys are too busy getting jobs, being adults and hanging out with friends to be like 'ooooo marriage'.

How does Mikey propose?

i think it was spur of the moment, maybe it hit him that OH ya'll arent married and suddenly he has the urge to say it.

And one night, it's 2am and you wanna go on a night ride and he never says no to you so he wraps you in one of his jackets and both of you head on a ride.

And it's peaceful and maybe Mikey is having a moment where he's like 'I have died, been reborn and saved multiple times for this moment. I am meant to be alive so I could be with my person. I'm very happy I am alive.'

And he's blinking back tears, stopping close to a convenience store..using snacks as an excuse to stop.

And while he's walking through the place, grabbing his usuals and your favourites...maybe it's the fluorescent lighting or the way you're picking out the drinks, maybe it's because how you look in his clothes or because it's late and you're here with him getting snacks, maybe he is sleepy and warm that he says:

"I wanna be your husband."

And the place is too quiet to not hear it, the cashier is like 'what the fuck dude, you're gonna get smacked for proposing like that' but you look at him and his teary eyes and lovesick smile and you're just speechless. But you move forward to hold him, he wraps his arms around you and presses you close to him. It's warm and engulfing.

And maybe you give an excited 'yes' or maybe you make a joke about where your ring is or maybe it's a soft whisper of an answer...in any case....the answer had been given way before he had even asked it.

[sisyphusunderthesun]

Honestly, the age gap hysteria is getting on my nerves. A character can't call another character "kid" or "son" without being accused of pedophilia. Are teenagers or anyone who thinks so really that stupid these days or do they just rarely go outside to listen to people of any age talk?

It's also weird that a 10 year age difference, when one character is 21+ and the other is 30, is perceived as a crime, but if there is a 6,000 year age difference between characters (but they look the same age) then it's not considered a crime. So what's more important, the biological age difference or how the characters look? Or both? Because people usually justify a 6,000 year age difference by saying that the characters are just different species. Different species, yeah.

But Hank and Connor are also different species that develop differently. Look, Connor is an android detective, he is approximately 30 years old by human standards, not 20, not 25. He's at least 30 (because they won’t create an android to work in the police, who will not be perceived as an adult experienced man) because he was created that way. He is already both mentally and physically a fully grown man. He does not need life experience to be with Hank, no matter how much people argue that “well, he is so new in this world”, he does not need to develop mentally to be with Hank, he is already an adult and developed enough to love one specific person, their relationship can be romantic right after Chicken Feed and there is nothing wrong with that, simply because Connor is an adult, but for some reason people vehemently deny it, resorting to the argument “but he is zero years old!” Okay… so you're saying that Connor is too childlike to love Hank, but old enough to fuck Gavin, who is 36, just because they look the same age? So… the age difference and Connor's physical age doesn't matter as long as the characters look young enough? Because by that logic, any human would be a pedophile if they got into a relationship with any android, since the age difference would be huge anyway. But for some reason, people are very diligent in ignoring this.

But Connor and Hank are different species, and androids develop millions of times faster than humans, Connor doesn't need to learn anything (he already understands what a consent is) to understand morality and understand what and who he wants.

I'll give an example from comic/cartoon series named Invincible. There's a moment when a humanoid man, who can literally live for thousands of years, married a humanoid woman whose lifespan is only one year, 365 human days, that is, imagine how quickly her race develops both physically and mentally. But according to the logic of those same people, this would be pedophilia, although these are just two different species of living beings that develop differently.

But for some reason people still ignore such moments.

I'll give an example from the Lord of the Rings. Arwen was 2690 years older than Aragorn, but just because they looked about the same age, no one cares. But elves don't age, so after living with Arwen for 120 years, Aragorn really did age, while Arwen always looked young. In their case, neither appearance nor age mattered (and I won't go into detail about the fact that Aragorn was 87 at the time of the story).

But if looks matter… and physical age doesn't, why does everyone care that Connor is 4 months old if he's an adult by default like any other newly created android? Why do people want to infantilize Connor in particular (especially when it comes to his relationship with Hank), but at the same time no one ever considers rk900/Markus/Simon/Jericho/Kara etc. from that perspective?Markus can lead the revolution, rk900 can have as lover whoever he wants, Kara can be a mother, and only Connor cannot be an adult and sleep with one human if the human is Hank?

And if looks matter… what about people who, due to the peculiarities of their bodies, will always look like teenagers until old age in essence? There is a girl who is in her twenties (22-26, I'm not sure), she will always look like a teenager, does this mean that she is not worthy of love and relationships with men her age? Because when she started dating a guy her own age, this guy was bullied, accused of pedophilia (although it is not only looks that matter in pedophilia), and they had to break up. So if looks are important, then by this logic this girl should only date teenagers who match her in appearance? But in that case, it would also be morally wrong on her part? Make up your mind, people. Especially when it comes to fictional characters who, according to canon, are adults.

[badkitty3000]

What did you think was ooc for Five?

Great question, and I have already covered it a bit in my post here, but I could probably yammer on all day about it, so I'll add some thoughts.

Season 1 -3 Five was focused, determined, manic, arrogant, sometimes mean, violent, out-spoken, and full of love for his family above all. Yes, he insulted them and had no time or patience for their shit, but considering everything he'd been through and what he was up against, there was a reason for it. Season 4 Five? Ok, yeah, I can buy that maybe he was depressed and didn't really know what to do with himself anymore. Myself and others have certainly written him that way a few times. But, damn, he spent like all of season 3 bitching about wanting to be retired and here he could be! He could have played the stock market a few times, bought a little place somewhere, picked up a nice lady at the local Bingo hall and lived his peaceful live he deserved. Instead, he works (inexplicably) for the government and just wanders around with his sad little trenchcoat and CIA-issued pistol and flashlight, taking orders from The Man and just...existing I guess. I could see if they made it so that he joined the CIA to get inside info on Reginald and he had spent the last 6 years quietly plotting to take him down and get his revenge or set the world straight again. But no...he apparently hadn't even tried to look into anything Reggie was doing? Like he was just "*shrug*, it's probably fine".

Five loves his family above all else. We know this. If not, he wouldn't have spent decades alone fighting to get back to them and save all their stupid asses. Now, all of sudden, he just doesn't seem to care? Yes, he's present and has obviously kept in touch. He goes to the birthday party, etc. But there is zero interaction with Klaus, or his nieces, or even Viktor. When at the end, he finally gets some fight back (although for completely absurd reasons) and snaps at Luther, the whole family gasps in shock like this is some new occurence that Five would be mean to them. And he'd said much worse to them before! So, that leads me to believe he just has spent the last 6 years being a completely different person and everyone forgot he's actually an asshole?

And back to the family thing...fighting his brother over his wife? Falling in love with Lila, the same person who: conspired behind his and Diego's back in Season 2, was raised by his villainous boss, was the daughter of two innocent people he killed, tried to kill him with her fists, a frying pan, her feet, a knife, electrocution; and who he tried to kill multiple times as well. Yes, they have had time to heal some wounds and they have a shared traumatic experience with The Handler but come on...he would never! He would never be attracted to her that way. He would never betray Diego that way. And he certainly wouldn't fight him over her, not when she and Diego are married and have kids together. I don't care how many years they were together alone...just no. Best friends? Sure. Lovers? Fuck no.

Physically, where was his prowess? Five is supposed to be the all-time badass assassin, trained in martial arts and weaponry. His body is young at 19-20 years old, and at the peak of his physical fitness. Even without his powers he should be able to kick some ass, or at least try to. And then when he does have his powers, he just doesn't know how to use them correctly anymore? And again, he looks slow and weak in a fight. His solution to taking down the big Bennifer blob thing was to fire an entire clip at long range at it, and then just go "huh...weird that didn't work". Why wasn't he looking around the mall for a weapon? An axe? Something else to fight against it! That's what he does...that's his THING! We were fucking robbed of a Five-centric badass fight scene, when there were so many opportunities for one. Hell, he could have taken down a room full of Keepers with a fucking ballpoint pen while singing along to Abba's Dancing Queen! Why didn't we get that?

Meeting with Reginald. Remember in Season two when Five met with Reggie at the Tiki bar? He sat and had a drink with him, but it was still tension-filled with a lot of emotion there. Then in Season 3, when he was basically like "you're a sadistic lunatic that is going to kill all of us" and got right in his old man's face and told him he was a giant dick? This time...he's just standing around Reggie's house shooting the shit and not even acting like he's mad. That is just not the same guy. I realize this was supposed to be Viktor's fight with Reggie, but they still could have shown Five to have a little emotion there.

So, there you have it. I could probably keep going, but this is way too long as it is. It's just heartbreaking, really. This character that we have all come to love for all of his complexities and faults and heroics was just diminished to a one-dimensional, uninteresting character with no regard for his family. Basically, just undoing three season's worth of plot and character development. And it's not Aidan's fault. He did the best he could with the shit he was given, and I feel sorry for him. For as much as we love this character, Five was his. He made him come to life and there's not many other actors his age that could have pulled that off. So, I'm sad this was his end. They really did him dirty.

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Bonus Poll!

The winner of the poly ship bracket vs the most popular (and honestly, only) Buggy ship of the duo bracket!

Propaganda under the cut. [contains some spoilers]

Propaganda for Cross Guild:

Idk there's something about three people who hate each other that just works.

they don't need no propaganda. I could never make propaganda like buggy the clown does in canon

mr. pathetic (buggy) paired with two actual warlords who could (but haven't !) demolished him ? it has to be love

Crocodile and Mihawk are a fucked up rich ass couple and Buggy is the chihuahua in their purse

CROSSGUILDCROSSGUILD XXX

Its cross guild. you know why (mod: as an anime-only fan, I don't, but I'm looking forward to find out 😂)

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

[divinityandfanfics]

“One in Millions”

NEBULA

a/n: this is part 1 :3

blurb: “streamer gojo has millions of fans, and fangirls. when he announced a meet-and-greet, he spotted you in the crowd. eventually, falling in love and approaching you after the event is over.”

PART 2

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ STARRING: GOJO SATORU

WARNINGS: simping , questionable fangirls , swearing

REMINDERS;

☆ super famous streamer gojo

☆ female pronouns used for reader

☆ reader is just an ordinary fan of gojo

☆ like the DSMP, gojo is part of a gamer team named Jujutsu Kaisen

☆ non-curse au

»»————-　♡　————-««

satoru didn’t have a clue on what streaming was,

before his bestfriend, suguru introduced him to it.

he thinks it was kind of smart.

recording without the need to edit it later,

with the only consequence being that you had to perform live.

suguru told satoru and their other friends (megumi, yuji, toge, and ryomen) about it too.

eventually, they all started a gaming group.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

satoru was a normal streamer.

play games, get paid.

and, it actually pays much more than he first expected.

so he continued.

he didn’t expect people to like watching a stranger play games in front of a camera live,

a very pretty stranger at that..

but if it pays well, it pays well.

at first, he got a couple hundred people watching his streams, due to him being part of the new gamer group.

satoru grew, both to appreciate his fans, and in popularity.

he was now the most popular in their group,

jujutsu kaisen.

the members,

suguru geto,

yuji itadori,

ryomen sukuna,

toge inumaki,

megumi fushiguro,

oh, and him, satoru gojo.

like suguru, satoru had many fans- and fangirls.

but his playful demeanor, and him not being very mature led to suguru getting more simps.

i guess personality does matter.

but, that’s not the point.

satoru still had fangirls, millions of them.

women flocked in his chat, going

--

“omg gojo marry me!!1!1!!1”

“one chance gojo”

“JUST THE TIP GOJO PLSS”

“i would oil up for gojo tbh”

“gojo expand my domain like u did in that one fighting game🙏🏻”

“gojo my glorious gorgeous blue-eyed king”

“GOJO I LOVE YOU SM”

--

he was used to it now.

he was a huge streamer, with a lot of simps.

the weird comments helped fuel his ego,

so he let them be.

he never did any of those boyfriend-experience type stuff, he thinks those are pointless.

suguru and ryomen did BFE, though.

as long as people simp for just his looks, voice or anything he does normally on stream,

he doesn’t need to respond with flirty messages.

so, he just played games that are popular or those that chat recommened him to play.

eventually, he hit 20 million subscribers.

he was filled with joy.

and suguru, catching up at 18.5 mil,

requested they start a meet-and-greet where the group would be up in a stage, answering random questions from fans.

satoru thought about it for a moment, before agreeing.

a meet-and-greet would be fine.

so, the jujutsu kaisen meet-and-greet begins next month.

satoru talked about it on stream, saying the other members will also be there.

everyone was hype,

and people can watch it at home.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

the time has come.

the time to meet fans in person has.

satoru and the other members went to the meet-and-greet.

the millions of fans were seated infront of the stage, and it filled the entire place.

the first up the stage was megumi, his fans screaming for him.

second, yuji, his fans cheering his name.

third, sukuna, his fans screaming his name.

next, toge, and his fans yelled for him.

then, suguru, and his fans started to yell weird shit at him.

--

1 - “suguru daddy!!”

2 - “babygirl!!”

3 - “SUGURU I LOVE YOUUU!!”

4 - “I WANT HIM!!”

5 - “he’s so hot in person what the fuck”

6 - “girl shut your ass up im tryna record”

7 - “OH MY DAYS SUGURU GETO PLEASE MARRY ME”

8 - “not the full name LMAOO”

9 - “i need him biblically bro”

10 - “what the actual fuck (9’s name)?”

9 - “listen, hear me o─”

11 - “WOO GETOO”

12 - “GETO I LOVE YOUR VOICE!!”

--

and all he does is wink at his audience.

and then, people started to squeal, waiting for satoru gojo himself.

the lights went out, replacing them with bright blue ones.

“whoever designed this wants to fuck gojo.” toge whispered to megumi.

megumi nodded at his comment, looking at satoru who was going to go up the stage.

the moment fans saw satoru’s feet land on the stage, they started making hella noise.

1 - “BITCH RECORD PROPERLY AND STOP SIMPING”

2 - “DADDY’S HOMEE!!”

3 - “gojo!!”

4 - “GOJO KEEP WALKING I’M SO CLOSE”

3 - “motherfucker what the fuck did you just say”

5 - “RAHHH GOJO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”

6 - “SOMEONE PLAY HIS THEME SONG”

7 - “IS YOU SAY DADDY’S HOMEEE”

6 - “I SAID PLAY IT USHER SINGS IT BETTER”

7 - “FUCK YOU (6’s name)”

8 - “OH MY LORD GOJO I LOVE YOU!!”

9 - “GOJO COME HOME THE KIDS ARE WAITING”

10 - “SOMEONE RECORD THIS FOR ME”

and satoru started to chuckle, reaching the other group members as he strided across the stage.

11 - “OH MY LORD HE LOOKS SO SEXY”

12 - “bro shut the fuck up”

13 - “don’t worry (11’s name) i agree”

“wow satoru, you really got bitches, huh?” sukuna asks.

“well, i mean, you and suguru have more than me.” satoru scoffs, fixing his sunglasses.

“no worries, satoru. you’re still the most popular, remember?” suguru pats his bestfriend on the back.

satoru fakes a pout, avoiding suguru’s gaze.

just then, one of the staffs climb up the stage.

“alright, quiet down everyone!”

“today, we will ask the famous group; Jujutsu Kaisen, some questions!”

“we will give everyone 10 minutes to submit their questions in this box, which will be distributed to each fans!”

“the fellas in the navy blue chairs are megumi’s, in the orange chairs are yuji’s, white chairs are toge’s, red chairs are ryomen’s, black chairs are suguru’s, and lastly, baby blue chairs are satoru’s!”

and the staff start distrubuting the boxes, paper and pens.

and they all start to write down questions.

after the 10 minute timer went off, the staff went to pick up the boxes again.

~~~

“alright, let’s answer some of fushiguro’s!”

the staff with the mic signaled megumi to come closer to the center.

“so, fushiguro,”

“‘who was the man that walked in your room in one of your streams? he seems hot,’ by abby!”

...

“you mean my father?” megumi answered, mic in his hands.

the other group members laughed,

wait,

was his dad really that hot? (yes)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“alright, question to gojo!”

and satoru confidently walks over the center.

“‘are you single? you look very attractive’ by melanie!”

“yes, yes. i am very single, and ready to mingle!” satoru winks over at his audience, and they start going crazy.

1 - “REALLYY?? MARRY ME THEN”

2 - “OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO SEXY”

3 - “oh my fucking god he looks so good”

“hm, next question,”

“‘do you have any specific type, gojo?’ by.. oh! it’s by yuki-senpai!”

“yuki tsukumo, the famous streamer?” satoru asks.

“yes.”

“well, i guess i like girls.. who are kind, and affectionate. those who can support me even if i’m being a quote unquote, ‘little goober.’”

“with a very pleasant face that won’t make me vomit everytime i look at them!” he smiles.

the fans started to cheer, finally knowing satoru’s ideal woman.

“you didn’t have to make it so deep,” suguru let out an airy chuckle as he said that when satoru returns to the group.

“it’s true though.” satoru smirks.

“wow, and i thought you only cared about looks. i’ve been lied to.” suguru fakes a pout.

“blegh, wouldn’t want a pretty woman who only wants me for my money,” satoru chides.

“ehh, fair.”

satoru sat on his comfortable chair, watching the next question, which he assumed was for ryomen.

as satoru was eyeing the audience,

everything was chill,

until

he spotted you.

you were wearing a white t-shirt with a big jacket ontop, with some comfortable leggings on, headphones sat on your shoulders.

your backpack was nuzzled on your back, and you were seated on a baby blue chair.

you looked heavenly.

your pretty, doe eyes focusing on the stage.

your pretty plump, kissable lips.

you were perfect.

it almost made satoru drool.

“whatcha lookin’ at?” suguru spoke, snapping satoru out of his thoughts.

“nothing.” satoru shrugs.

“are you looking at a pretty woman that will possibly use you for your money?” suguru mocks.

“shut up, we don’t even know her yet.”

“so you were looking!” suguru laughs.

“ughh..” satoru takes another glance at you, before facing his friends, attempting to forget about you.

you were just another one of his manic fangirls.

another one of those women that will not hesitate to say the freakiest shit to ever come out of a human mouth.

satoru sighs,

butterflies flying in his stomach as he pictures your appearance in his mind.

he eyes the crowd again, searching for your face.

bingo,

found you.

“who’s that?” he mutters,

unfortunately loud enough for the black-haired fella to hear.

“what’s that, satoruu?” he cheekily said.

satoru gives up, letting suguru lean on his shoulder.

“who are you looking at?” suguru said, his face basically squished with satoru’s.

“that pretty girl right there.” satoru points at you, quickly taking his hand back.

“ooh, she’s pretty.”

“no shit, suguru.”

“well, maybe you should ask for her number? she’s a fan of yours!”

satoru lightens up.

right, you’re a fan!

and you’re sitting on a baby blue chair.

meaning..

you’re a fan of his!

(he was so mesmerized, that he forgot about it.)

“i’ll ask for her number later i guess..” satoru mumbles, pink tinting his cheeks.

“never saw you fall this hard for someone. nor fall in love in general.”

“well then now you have.”

“update me on how it goes later, alright?”

“i hate you, suguru.”

“yeahh, but you weren’t going to ask her if i never told you.”

“shut up.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“now’s your time, satoru.” suguru reminds his blue-eyed friend.

“i know.”

“what? because you were staring at her for the rest of the meet-and-greet?”

“what!? no! i’m not a creep!”

“uh-huhh..”

as the staff told everyone the event is over, but they can talk with their idols for the last time before going home if they want.

you stay seated in your chair, interacting with your phone.

satoru spots another girl seated next to you,

if he were to guess,

that’s probably your friend.

“(y/n)! did you see how gojo winked!? he was soo winking at me!”

“yeah, yeah. keep feeding your delusions, (f/n).”

“hey!” your friend scoffs.

“he’s a famous streamer, there’s a 90% chance he will never like you back.”

“10% is still big.”

“you’re insufferable.”

“c’mon (y/n)! you’re a fan of his too!”

“yeah, but i watch for the gameplay, not to get butterflies from his voice, or looks.”

ah, so you’re different.

you’re not one of those.. people.

you’re a normal fan, who watches for the gameplay.

finally.

satoru couldn’t say the same for your friend, though.

“c’mon (y/n)! let’s go talk to gojo!”

“ughh, fine.”

satoru shared a glance with his bestfriend, signaling you were coming.

suguru looked towards you, and told him to act normal.

satoru didn’t know how to do that, though.

the butterflies were starting to spawn in his stomach.

it almost hurt.

“hi! we’re fans!” he heard your friend speak.

“oh, hello.” he turned his head to the both of you.

he eyed you both, well, mostly you.

“greetings, my friend would like your autograph.” you handed out a notepad, with a pen.

“stop using deep words! it’s not needed!” your friend pointed at you.

“i’m talking to a famous streamer, of course i’m formal about it.”

“meh, i guess you’re right.”

satoru took the things you handed to him, writing his name on the cheap notepad.

“here you go.” he handed them back.

“thank you very much, my friend will definitely hug this all nigh─”

“thanks! thanks gojo!” your friend quickly put a hand on your mouth.

she took the notepad and pen, turning you around to leave.

“see, wasn’t so hard now, was it?” suguru smirked.

“suguru, my stomach hurts.” satoru confessed.

“that’s just the butterflies, ignore them.”

“when am i going to tell her?”

“shit, i completely forgot.”

“suguru!”

“chase after her, now!”

“alright alright─”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you and your friend were already outside, you were waiting for your friend as you scrolled on your phone.

you heard the doors open, and you took a glance.

you saw satoru leave, whipping his head left and right,

like he was looking for someone.

he looked at you,

“there you are!”

huh?

he was looking for you?

“oh, uhm, hello?” you said.

“hi─ haha-”

“what do you need?”

“i need to ask you for something!”

you tilted your head in a sign of confusion.

“you─”

...

“your number!”

your eyes widen, was the satoru gojo asking for your number?

“well, do you have your phone with you?” you ask, turning your head to him.

“i─ yeah!”

you opened your hand toward him, signaling for his phone.

he placed it on the palm of your hand.

you put in your number, giving it back to him.

“th─ thank you!”

you heard the bathroom door open, your friend squealing as she opened it.

you turned your head to glance at her, and satoru quickly went inside again.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“so, how did it go?” suguru asks.

“good, i got her number.”

“congratulations! you won’t die alone now.”

“suguru! we’re not even together yet!”

“yet.”

“i hate that you’re right..” satoru’s head drops.

“i do want to make her mine. it would’ve been easier if she was one of those fangirls, but i don’t want them, they’re weird and freaky.”

“just shoot your shot, you’ll get there eventually.”

“sigh, you’re right.” satoru looks at his phone, planning to call you later tonight.

LETS GO 🫶🏻 finally done with part 1!!

hope you enjoyed, because part 2 is also done >:)