#got even wider!
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ok this isnt meant to be a dig or anything but it's always really funny to me when people like just cracking 30 are like "omg you're in your early twenties, you're a babyyyyyy"
babe you're like barely 30, you're a baby too. You're a blink and a half older than me. I spend too much time around people over 50, the difference between 23 and 33 is a few years at a job and a little more distance from living in your parents' house but it's like, nothing. the gap closes every time you breathe and every time i move. the difference between you and me is like one-fifteenth the difference between you and my dad's friend Joe or whatever. don't worry you'll get to live more life too, but don't kid yourself.
and this is doubled when it's coming from a 25-year-old currently experiencing a crisis of age because they're soooo old, they're 25, the horror! You are twenty-five. We have an age difference of three years. Your concern over this is embarrassing for you and highly entertaining for me. But like don't kid yourself here. You are 25. You are a like a fucking baby to me.
#red rambles#when i was 18 all my friends were grad students#i think my youngest close "peer'' friend was 27#when i was 19 it was covid and almost all my friends were distant people i knew online and then the age gap between me and my oldest friend#got even wider!#when i was 20 i stayed with my grandma for several months and i'm still friends with a bunch of her friends! i got a standing invitation to#a neighbor's house to shoot the shit with her and she's like 55 and she's the youngest of the people in my grandma's social circle i'm all#buddy-buddy with!#i was learning new knitting tecniques from someone in her late 80s!#You are like a little baby to me watch this [hits on a man around three times my age] [hits on a woman almost three times my age] i'd say#im hitting on enbies 3x my age here but i actually haven't met any out enbies that old yet. i think the youngest nonbinary person i know is#their forties and that's just 2x#wait no. i do know someone. but i haven't hit on them. not gonna steal valor LOL#if ur a cool recently-retired californian i cannot recommend coming to [city removed] to come get hit on by a 23 year old nonbinary tboy#but i wouldn't say it's off the table LOLLL#anyway.#point made i believe.#i'm sure i'll hit the Age Crisis one of these days and start being like omg... you're so *young* because you are so Small Number...#but the one i run into is just Omg... You are so Fucking Immature why do you think this problem Matters... and that one i get from everyone#ill be sitting there chatting with like 70yo retired married couples and be stricken with waves of utter disgust bc they're too concerned#with their neighbors' opinions and think it constitutes a legitimate issue if someone does things too differently when there are like.#real problems in this world LOL
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aaaand BUMBLEBEE 😊 !!!!
#this isnt humanformers it's just my own bumblebee design like hes very much robot still#the face plate just isnt white cus um i do wat i wanbt#LOL#human bee would have afro puffs to resemble his antennas that curl at the tops for the horns too#the lil blue things being his fluff are his door wings!#i want him to be like one of those big fuzzy fat bees where their wings are so tiny how do they even manage 2 fly#well this one does not !#goldbug tho i think should fly bcs starscream parallels and his wings are not stubby and round like bbs here#which he ruthlessly ridicules bb for and flaunts his giant bee wings#anyways bbs servo fluff helps conceal his stingers#if u look closely on the face he has a nose scar and what looks like 3 freckles on each side#but rlly theyre just rips from the nose scar breaking and moving like mini scrapes from ur big car scar#he has an arm btw i just didnt feel like blocking that part of his body where the rest of it would go so i amputated him lol#it's ok i redesigned him off of cane bumblebee so it ok bumblebee it artist interpretation ok#i love his cane tho i need to fraw him with it i just hate fullbody aint nobody got time for that (me only)#(im. lazy )#ANYWAYS yea so. this is my idea of idw bee.. i think he would discover the and bumblebee meme and Not stop saying it. actually#bumblebee got wider and slighter taller but his wings have not ever changed#bumblebee#transformers#tf#if u wanna think of it as humanformers u can but hes an android then and not like a human human so ill tag it#humanformers#tf idw#maccadam#transformers idw
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Shang Qinghua is one of the SV characters I can most relate to purely in terms of also being a writer. I know that a lot of the stuff I want to write won’t end up being super popular (a romance with a purposefully unsexy vampire? a story between an m/f best friend pair with a really deep emotional bond and no romance? come on) and publishing is a nightmare anyway. But the difference is that I don’t plan to make a living off my writing. Poor SQH does. So if he wants to do fun things like pay his bills and eat food every day, he has to pander to the big audience.
He’s written other things that weren’t PIDW. Things that weren’t trashy stallion novels. Things he might’ve had a passion for and put his heart into. No dice. So PIDW it is and my god I can’t imagine how annoying and frustrating it is that the one work that you purposefully sold out on so you can, yknow, survive, is the only one that got big. It got really big. Really popular. That’s gotta be so fucking enraging. Imagine that, you think sitting down to write something you like is hard? Try to pump out a few thousand words of some crap you don’t even like every day, crap that you know had potential if following your actual ideas and plans for the characters would allow you to pay rent. Alas. The characters you lovingly crafted are watered down now. No one cares that you came up with a really compelling backstory for this one villain, he did bad things and he got murdered and that’s all anyone wanted to see. Not a real story, not something you put love into
In a way I think that’s partly why he and SQQ became friends. I’m a writer, we like feedback. We like to hear what people think of the things we write, even negative feedback can be appreciated. So if you have this one guy who reads everything, comments frequently, and (most important) can see how absolutely shitty this work of yours is? Someone that also sees the wasted potential of this story? Gotta be worth something.
#svsss#shang qinghua#I get him bcus if I wrote some idfk what’s popular rn#some cliche trope filled garbage romantasy book and everyone devoured it up like no tomorrow#and that’s all anyone ever knew me for and no one wanted to read my other stuff that I actually liked writing#that would be sad! it would be damn near infuriating I’ll tell u what#I really like all the characters I make and their stories and know what I *am* their dad#I don’t even care if I write smth I like and it doesn’t sell well I expect that#it’s just that if I wrote some shlock to pander to a wider market and that got really big
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I think the kids are waiting at the sun tree. They've never really done that before. Sleeping by the sun tree. But as they watched their parents and their friends disappear, with fear in their eyes, it was a day full of firsts.
Wolfe ends up running off in a sort of fit. Leona runs after him. They both feel more at home in the woods. They probably went there to calm down. Vesper, as the oldest, decided she needed to get some things in order. Just in case.
And Gwen was going to leave, sneak into her father's office, past all his traps and rigging, until she notices Vax just standing there. Staring at the seams in the bark that aren't really there. She watched him collapse, sitting crisscross on the roots.
So she stayed. She sat next to her big brother, close and leaning on him. Though, she wasn't there looking for support. She had watched his cocky, teenage attitude melt away into a panic. Vax'ildan was panicking.
"They'll be okay," she told him. "They're the heros of the realm. They'll save uncle Vax and the world and come home." She sounded so sure. He had to believe she was right.
They stay there though. For hours. It might have been the most time the pair ever spent with each other. The sun starts wane and their home turns golden and their parents aren't back yet.
Leona and Wolfe come back, their faces red and a little dirty. They hadn't even taken their leathers off. Like they were going home when they saw their siblings still waiting. They flank their siblings, Leona wrapping an arm around Vax's shoulder and Wolfe taking Gwen's hand. Also contented to wait.
The sky is purple by the time Vesper came with blankets, pillows, and large boxes from The Slayer's Cakes. She had all of her siblings favorites picked out. Trinket 's bear claws for Leona. Sun treats for Gwendolyn. Trayon's Blondies for Vax. Keyleth 's almond bark for Wolfe. And her own personal favorite Everlight-as-Air Scones. She brought enough to count as dinner. She wasn't their head of household. She was their big sister. She didn't need to make sure they ate well or went to bed on time. That wasn't her job. Not yet.
The stars were out that night for them, granting them the family time that they desperately needed. They laughed and stole each other's pastries. They danced around any subject related to parents or their aunts and uncles away. Hunting and tinkering and spying were all fair game. The twins fought, Vax'ildan rolled his eyes and they got him to smile. Gwen listened carefully. Vesper counted the hours since their parents left.
She thought the sun might rise and they'd never see them again. She thought they would have to gather their things in the morning sun and start their new lives emerging from the roots on the sun trees. She thought-
The bark of the sun tree cracked and groaned as it split. All of the De Rolo children held their breaths. Aunt Pike, Uncle Scanlan (in centaur form?), the ashari man, Uncle Grog, a very beautiful and very scary elf woman.
Then father. Then mother hanging on the arm of a strange man they recognized immediately.
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#blah blah blah#went ham in post and tags again#me talking out of my ass again#i cant wait for all the fics of them coming home and spening the evening at home warm and as a family#and theyre all titled lets pretend nothings wrong#if i knew the characters better i would write a full fic and this would be the opening.#id have them in a drawing room#and vax is listening to all his nieces and nephews talk#gwen is on his back and hes running around#he gets to meet vax'ildan#he gets to meet the kids that are so much like him#and i think the adults are sober. for the most part. grog and Keyleth are having some wine but nothing in excess#they want to be there. they want to be present. they want to pretend like nothings wrong#and percy surveys his family. finally complete after all these years.#gwen is in his lap and his wife is smiling wider than she has in years#and some how hes able to press to the back of his mind that this could be their final hours on this planet.#but its exactly how he'd want to spend it#vox machina#the de rolos#idk what else to tag#idk i got soft
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howard the duck (1976) #10
#coming for spider-man's life i see#sci talks comics#howard the duck#spider-man#yes. i am reading the entirety of howard the duck comic canon from the beginning thank you for asking.#i had read the most recent two howard the duck series and i enjoyed them but now? reading the classic stuff??#dear god the new stuff doesn't hold a candle.#sighs. howard is just like every marvel character. lost his edge.#marvel stop forgetting the entire point of your characters in order to babify them to appeal to wider audiences#seeing how counter-consumerist the early howard books are and how cynical and honest the writer is..#it's a little heartbreaking what he's become#here i was thinking he was just a funny duck.#kind of sad that howard's entire existence now is reduced to “remember when we wrote about a talking duck?”#“hheeheheahahahohoh what a funny thing that was. a talking duck. could you imagine! what a silly time that was.”#“what an embarrassing time for marvel”-– shut UUP this is so interesting and sincere. that duck is really interesting and sincere.#i love you howard.#i even like your weird movie.#fun fact: howard the duck was one of the first movies my dad ever watched in english#and it was this movie that he always tried to describe and try to find because he loved it but he didn't remember the name#he said it's a movie about a duck who gets stuck in the human world#and eventually i got into marvel and was like wait. howard the duck? is the movie howard the duck???#he loves that movie. well. the first half of it. and me too i also love the first half of that movie.#love you howard!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So I came to the realization today that I am not going to get anymore work on this trunk done this year. I still need to finish stripping the paper inside and redoing that, but it's just. Not happening until spring. With that realization, I decided it's time to finally bring it back inside, put all the junk on my floor that used to be in it back in it, and guys
It looks good.
This is going to be a summary post of the project, so let's go back and remember what I started with. Back in, like, 2015 or something, I bought this dome-top steamer trunk at a missionary shop for $65
Yeah. Rough. But underneath that paint it was sturdy, and the only thing missing was the lock and the right-side hasp. While I lived overseas this sat in my parents' house, and when I got back I kept meaning to do something while storing all of my yarn and cat food in it. When I finally got my own space (almost a year ago now!) with my own garage, I finally decided: it was time.
Heads up, this is a long post under the cut.
Did a lot of research online, grew to hate how generative AI has even permeated niche topics like how to refinish a vintage steamer trunk, WHY is there generative AI for that, PLEASE stop, went to Lowe's and bought some supplies (I used Citristrip for the paint stripping, it worked VERY easily), and started stripping that hideous brown* away.
Almost instantly I could tell how good it could be. The tin looked amazing, and for most of the stripping process I wondered why on earth someone would cover it with any color. It took multiple layers of stripping, and I got better at it over time.
I did also start to see some oxidation issues with the tin that made the purpose behind the paint job a little more understandable.
One side was particularly bad, but I will never forgive the decision to paint the entire thing one single color.
At first, the flat metal seemed okay, but the longer I worked on stripping, the longer it was exposed to air, the rustier it started to get. I had already planned on coating it, and I ended up getting some Rust-Oleum Rust Reformer spray paint. Instead of removing the rust, it bonds to the oxide and stops the process from continuing. It also happens to leave it a nice matte black that didn't need additional painting. I taped everything off, then sprayed.
Then it was time for the tin. I looked for ideas, and the best one I found was Rub'n'Buff. It's not so much a paint as a pigmented wax, with the idea that you can buff it to a higher shine. As I was stripping paint, I found a spot under one of the slats that the painter missed, and the original tin had been painted a gold color, so I used that to decide on color. I decided on Grecian gold, though I used the antique gold as a kind of base to make sure the Grecian stretched far enough.
I originally started applying it with some craft foam brushes, but they didn't really want to work for me, so I ended up buying a pack of makeup sponges, the little disposable wedge ones, and the finer texture worked much better. I had to trim them down pretty frequently, because the wax would build up and stop applying as nicely, but there were more than enough in the pack to finish the job.
The coverage is amazing for this stuff. This side was the worst of them, and one layer of the stuff was almost perfect. The Grecian gold was almost a bit runnier, though, and ended up needing a second layer to cover some patches that were almost too thin, thus the other underneath.
This tin is so pretty though. I still kind of regret that it needed it; the places that weren't oxidized were so bright in a way that the Rub'n'Buff had no hope of emulating. There are some places you can still buy the embossed tin for rehabing trunks like this, but I haven't found one with a pattern quite like this, and this one is so much nicer than the ones I've seen. I'm very glad that it was all intact except for where the lock goes.
After the tin came the slats. I knew from sites like Brettun's Village that I wanted to use tung oil, so I had bought what I thought was tung oil. Turns out Minwax gets to call their tung oil finish that even though there's. No... tung oil. in it. ? So uh, if you want actual tung oil, do NOT listen to Minwax, they're lying, I don't understand why it's allowed. It still looks nice enough, but quite annoying.
Speaking of Brettun's Village, they not only do their own restorations AND provide a guide, they have a very extensive supply of recently furbished and original parts. They happened to have a nearly identical hasp to the one that was missing (so nearly identical I only noticed after my dad pointed it out) and an old lock also similar to my original, made in the late 1800s/early 1900s.
The next step was to tackle the inside. Instead of just adding more paper on top (like the last people did, so now there are two layers, one of which hides some original stickers ;3;), I decided to try to scrape that out, and I've found some structural issues that the metal and slats outside have held together and kept hidden.
The top split in the wood is an actual crack on the front that needs fixing. The middle split is just the gap between the planks. The bottom is also a crack, but not as extensive as the top one.
So the final steps, when I get the motivation again come spring, is to finish getting as much of the paper off as I can. Then my dad is going to help me use some bondo to hold the cracks, and I'll find a removable wallpaper I like. Then I can sort out what I'm going to do with the lock. That top split runs right through where the lock should go - you can see some of the wood filler we already put in from where the original was ripped out - so we can't try to put anything there or it'll crack worse.
But I brought it in today!
It looks so good, I glance over and get to feel so satisfied; I did that.
*I don't like to call any color hideous, because a lot of the time it really depends on the context, and it's an okay brown. But for THIS? It was probably the worst brown they could have picked. Mixed with the orange of the paint stripper it looked like I was scraping diarrhea.
#long post#vintage trunk#steamer trunk#antiques#antique restoration#antique refinishing#I tried to look up the lock again for the dates they had but they don't have the old stock ones anymore#so my timing was good#mom has wanted some quilting projects so I suggested something for under this#cause it has the original roller wheels! three of them anyway o3o;;;#but I'm afraid that the very old roller wheels will scratch the floor#i gave her the measurements and double checked idk how it ended up so skinny ;3;#but it's good enough#is there a chance that now that I've brought it inside my adhd will think “hey good enough” and never finish the rest?#yes#yes there is absolutely a significant chance#but I am beyond positive that no more work is going to get done before winter#so why leave it out in the garage over winter where it might expand and contract and force those cracks wider#I BARELY tapped the door frame on the way back in and it chipped the door frame though#like what kind of cheap materials did they use how was that even POSSIBLE#rude#oh oops I'm awake too late again tonight I gots work in the morning
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something that gives me joy is the fact that some people still haven't played Minecraft. they can pick up Minecraft for the first time! and play it! and I can still share Minecraft knowledge with people who need it! the world is full of wonder
#PLAY MINECRAFT SO I CAN INFODUMP TO YOU ABOUT IT :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D#i've sorta internalized that whole 'minecraft is literally the number one best selling game of all time' thing#so it's always a little tiny bit of a surprise when someone tells me they dont know much abt it#and then i realize I CAN TELL THEM ABOUT IT and i'm so happy#i need to know what other people see in this game#i got into it in a really weird way and at a young age (fanfiction at age 11) so i feel like i might see it differently#bc of different creative applications + The Nostalgia#im in love with The Concept of Minecraft. minecraft's wider potential beyond even that of a sandbox game#:]#minecraft#mineblr#blast babbles
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Thinking about how in the midst of the hostility currently directed at Amethio in-universe, Friede still remains the only one so far who expressed joy at his presence..
#that's his rival!!#i wonder if amethio notices the hostility or even cares about it#i guess he doesn't because he is just focused on trying to do what he can for gibeon#still it's a bit sad :/#being considered as getting in the way or a nuisance etc.#he has subordinates but it's still more of a professional relationship#a sense of distance there...#zir and conia are always glad he is safe of course but the hierarchical nature of that dynamics still stands in the way etc#that's why it stands out to me that friede got to express open joy and excitement at a few different points#about amethio being there at all (like in ep 45)#and being the only one so far too#(liko is still wary of him for good reason)#friede was so happy he found a rival on his level :(#it's cute when he gets to show these sides of his character...#i wonder if amethio saw a bit of spinel in friede in the first chapter?#we know spinel taunts amethio when he gets an opportunity to do so#and friede had this slightly teasing side too (but no ill will)#since i got the impression that amethio was projecting a lot of things onto friede at the beginning#(which was funny)#(the way he took things in the worst possible way etc)#anyway!#i really like their rivalry tbh#it's genuinely so compelling#for what it brings them both as characters#and how it relates to wider themes etc#character notes#episode notes#hz064
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the hack to surviving the pmd fandom is to not interact with explorers fans (<- guy that is an explorers fan)
#bwark#i live by this logic in the wider fandom by not interacting with anime xy fans and main series gen 5 fans (<- guy whose wife is a gen 5 fan)#fr sometimes im like hmm the pmd fandom is more peaceful than my experiences with the main series and anipoke fandoms#and now we're at the point where the creator of obt is getting sent SA fics because. her explorers comic adaptation features chatot#not even going into how annoying people are about canon chatot (we get it you never got over apple woods can we please talk about something#else)....this isn't even the same chatot? it's an adaptation with alterations???#as woo said keaton's character arc is still incomplete and this is how people are reacting to her fleshing him out more than canon chatot???#that's also not going into how people have called keaton a ''savage'' for obt's version of the perfect apple incident when woo has#stated that keaton is native-coded. like are you really putting yourself on the moral highground while saying severley racist shit#anyway what's the gti side of the fandom like. i know there's like 4 of you so it's looking much more peaceful#(I LOVE GTI IM JUST POKING FUN)
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Curious to know because I'm interested:
If you reblog, feel free to drop some lore (what 'ware, your lifepath, all that good stuff)
#Cyberpunk 2077#CP2077#I never usually ask questions to the wider fandom audience but I ruminate on this from time to time#Riley was a unique case because she got an prosthetic at age 11 and then nothing else until age 23. Not even an operating system.#And I find that backstory among a few others who main a nomad V#Likewise I find corpo!Vs tend to get a lot of cyberware fairly early and are pretty chromed up by the time the game gets going#Interested to know if a V's lifepath influences that at all. idk#Am I Trauma Socks-ing beyond the grave of Discord? Maybe lol#Aldi speaks
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apologies for yosukeposting and especially incoherently but slowboiling in my brain whatever the hell was going on w him in kanji’s dungeon. guy who slingshots between some kinda fraught observation that this is so much worse for kanji because it’s happening in front of an audience (over like. freaking out about it), furiously asserting that he’s heterosexual, insinuating danger but then also being the one who volunteers to take kanji home afterwards.
It’s sooooooooooooooo.
#I’m naurt.#conveying it well.#but there’s some kinda something about which elements prickle his unease#exposure to the wider community#the topic of sexuality that falls outside of what is normative being introduced AT ALL#but he’s. not scared of kanji. he never has been tbh#I don’t think he would volunteered to take him home and essentially make sure he got there safely if he was#imo it’s more that like. kanji doesn’t reject the shadow’s assertions where yosuke would#and there isn’t a world in his sixteen (?) year old brain where you SHOULDNT do that lmao#if you’re a guy you like girls and you don’t get hugged when you’re sobbing your heart out etc etc#a guy’s a guy and when that doesn’t mean what he thinks it has to mean anymore that’s deeply uncomfortable for him to unpack#it brings to the forefront his own doubts and insecurities#and kanji accepts that in himself where Yosuke can’t I don’t think#doesn’t question a lot of time and builds his identity around it#but he can’t erase the questions people like kanji and naoto raise because like. it’s intimately relevant to HIM lmao#and it’s how he understands a core part of himself#even if that’s built on sand#congrats! you’ve discovered the patriarchal and heteronormative hegemony!#tunes talks persona#I think it goes largely unspoken and deliberately avoided with him but what kanji wrestles w in regards to conciling his sense of identity#to wider society is like. that’s him too lmao
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.
#mostly like. i feel so alienated out for like. having such different views of chars.#dark choco is a char i find myself to relate to a lot. i see so much of myself in him.#and yet. i cant get fully interested and that makes me feel. am i even a true fan of his character#if my interpretation is so vastly different from the fandoms#and how his kingdom is probably my least favourite out of all the ancients' kingdoms#for how i feel like ppl and the narrative tend to forget how dark cacaos kingdom is so flawed.#like the whole “no sweet meals” thing. i am not talking abt irl influences and how it impacts the presentation of the kingdom but more like#i feel like ppl tend to perfectionize dark cacao kingdom while ignoring a ton of systematic issues in it.#then theres my opinion on hollyberry. i love her. shes my favourite ancient. but i wish we got a more serious storyline with her#im not all catched up on the lore but i just wish rlly wish we got more of the hollyberry kingdom. and see holly display a wider range of-#-emotions.#i hope the eternal sugar update will get us some hollyberry kingdom angst because i need some more serious characterization for her that r-#-not just snippets#then theres. white lily. i feel like im the only person who liked the fact white lily got her own kingdom and was split into two versions.#it DID come out of nowhere but like. i feel like its sort of more interesting than just white lily being fully DE?#her update was a fiasco with how shadow milk stole the show that was meant to be hers.#but like. so many of my opinions are different than the fandoms that i just cant help but feel like an intruder sometimes#i dont want to sound like a pick me or someone who thinks they r special for being different. because im not.#i do not like this feeling. but i needed to be open abt it ig#cookie chat#theres also like. the lack of proper characterization for carrow besides “good loyal soldier”.#that annoys me as hell too#fyi i DO NOT hate dark cacao kingdom to be clear. i love it a ton. the cultural influences are so interesting and i love the setting.#i just wish ppl didnt brush off a lot of systematic flaws abt it.
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I'm learning how to weave and I'm making a band and I'm like !!!! bc it took me Years to actually to start learning and turns out it's fairly easy and soon I'm gonna have an army of bands and life is gonna be so good
#noopa rambles#I ordered this supply kit literally at 3:30am on thursday#and it arrived today#I was fucking Baffled at how fast it got shipped#yes I ordered a yarn kit too even tho I have a shitton of yarns#it felt easier to start with a ready-made yarn bundle#after I get a hang of it I'll try to figure it out from scratch#and at some point I want a fancier pirta (the weaving thing; idk what that's in english) you can make more patterns with#and also a wider one to make wider bands that can be used as belts and shit#aaaaaaaa I'm so happy#yes yes the band is not smooth but I'm learning#I can't wait to have piles and piles of pirtanauhat
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remember to put on your best bathrobe for when you get hatecrimed. it really helps sell the gravity of the situation to the audience
#guess who literally just got hatecrimed#I'm okay just honestly worried about the wider implications#my brother tried to win an argument he made up with his fists#he's not a fun drunk#gods I'm so tired#should i even tag this under “queer”#don't wanna bring the crowd down
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Seriously tempted to make a highkey detached headcanon/pseudo-analysis post regarding Zant and gender. Probably a bad idea.
#scrawny rambles#zant#strong emphasis on the pseudo it's red string pins and corkboards fueled by audhd & months if not cumulative years of hyperfixation#my thing is that the optics are awful and this is tumblr#when it's like. alot of finding my gender issues and feminine rage in a character that... does not play *well* with that#it could be seen as crossing a line when i'm closeted transmasc and i see them as. well closeted *something else*#if that makes sense#it's deeply meaningful to me and comes from a place of compassion#but i think even someone in good faith can see the obvious issues with that#let alone the numerous people who either don't/no longer have the patience#or are looking for a fight#idk man. don't really have anyone personally to talk about this with that has the same extensive bg on the guy as i#i've got good and eager friends#but i'm giving them the context— the conversation is inherently led and skewed by my biases in a topic i have wayyy too much investment in#and they don't. yknow?#as opposed to presenting it to other people who share it and have wider context#and the sense to know if i'm bullshitting#the lens ends up being an addition instead of the groundwork; y'feel?#it's 1am god help#seasonal depression has my sleep schedule in a shit pit. sad!#tl;dr: things that look bad unfortunately compell me and that's why i give villains 18752489 flavours of queer biracial and neurodiv. ty.#just like me fr frrrrr
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