#I’m still thinking about her ok
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But that’s my emotional support 12th century nun music :(
#I’m still thinking about her ok#hildegard von bingen#medieval#music#medievalcore#bardcore#medieval history#history#meme#i’ll be on my merry way now
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“I hate that I fell in love with you.”
But she didn’t. She found him lying on the beach, and he was real, and he was there, and she wasn’t alone anymore, and she responded with such desperation and carelessness that she hurt him and drove him away.
She’d been alone so long that she mistook the relief of not being alone for love. She felt connection for a moment - and through her own actions, she messed it up.
(Even if she hadn’t, he still would have left her. She still would have ended up alone.)
“Why in the world won’t you love me too?”
Because you can’t control who does or doesn’t love you - but how would Calypso know that? She doesn’t know what love is. Chances are, no one will ever love her again.
#ok a character can do terrible things and still be a great character#calypso is a good character#the story challenges you with this character#it makes you think about what does and doesn’t make a character unsympathetic or irredeemable#and I love it#epic the musical#epic the musical spoilers#epic the vengeance saga#epic calypso#epic the musical analysis#epic odysseus#odysseus#calypso#im not sorry for loving you#madbard rambles#I’m not defending her#but I want to understand her
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Hi fellow stars and life series fans! here is some art I drew inspired from NASA’s archive of their picture of the day and traffic life members :)
Inspired by: Black Holes in Colliding Galaxies / Across the Sun / Saturn, Tethys, Rings and Shadows / MESSENGER’s Last Day on Mercury / Comet Pons-Brooks’ Ion Tail / Gemini Stars Pollux and Castor / The Dust Monster in IC 1396 / Two Worlds, One Sun (Sunset on Mars) / The Cosmic Web of the Tarantula Nebula / can’t find the last one but I did take more creative liberties with it
#I think I’m soooo neat with some of these.. lawl#Like Gem in the Gemini constellation and Cleo in the “monster” and Bdubs on Saturn the planet of the god of time#Anyways#solidaritygaming#grian#bdubs#bdoubleo100#jimmy solidarity#goodtimeswithscar#ethoslab#geminitay#zombiecleo#inthelittlewood#smallishbeans#martyn inthelittlewood#joel smallishbeans#ldshadowlady#lizzie ldshadowlady#<- fun fact I started with hers :( I was thinking about how she was still falling :((((#life series#secret life#third life#double life#last life#trafficblr#limited life#ok good enough 👍#ad astra per lumina
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ITS THEM
#I’m still thinking about how they sent a whole cavalry to rescue utahime like#“ok so we haven’t heard from utahime for two days now so we’re sending#our two special grade sorcerers and our only sorcerer who can use reverse ct#to go and rescue her” like damn girl you really must be something special#jjk s2#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanart#geto suguru#ieiri shoko#gojo saturo#iori utahime#sashisu#my art#shitpost
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One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps
#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who’s also a heart surgeon#And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do#The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational#Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments#Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo”#Basically implying he might be dead in a year#AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was#And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went .#Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon#I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him#I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that#I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed#So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects#And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today#I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too#p
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i’ve always wanted the weewoo show to do a Maddie Begins episode, but since (like eddie) we technically saw her begins episode when she started in season 2, i’ve been stumped on how they would do it. i figured it could be something like how Eddie Begins is basically eddie beginning to be a dad, but again we’ve seen her relationship with Chimney, having Jee Yun, the Boston arc, so it feels like we’ve seen a lot of her beginnings
you know what we haven’t seen? when she left Doug. that’s when Maddie begins. i mean those days when she decides to leave him, then travels across the country to get to the brother she hasn’t seen in four (?) years, completely by herself. like her parents lived in the same city as far as i’m aware but they’re not the people she turns to. and presumably it was really difficult to do from a financial/logistics perspective. i think jlh would EAT that storyline. throw in some childhood flashbacks (daniel! please!) and i think it would be one of the most gut wrenching and bittersweet 911 episodes ever
#i have a vision ok#also i’m thinking a lot about maddie bc today is her day!!#well#tomorrows her day for me but still!#i just adore her#maddie buckley#911 abc#jennifer love hewitt#buckley family#madney#chimney han#evan buckley#buckley siblings#daniel buckley#please tim#i’m begging you
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I don’t Care about the ships WHERE IS JINX
#I’m so sad#I’m so sorry cai/tvi nation#I do not like that cop#I care about the siblings and the siblings alone#and ekko OBVIOUSly#Yk actually the ending was rlly good except the part where cait is still an enforcer b#and vi??? I don’t actually know if she is#ig she never quit#but she’s not wearing the blue so#idk#anyway I have a lot of thoughts#I’m really sad I was yelling in my room alone like a crazy person#AND MEL MY GOD HOW COULD I FOEGOR HER#I was blinded by the siblings im not gonna lie#but her arc was SO good#ok this got so rambly this was not meant to get like this#I wish we’d gotten like#1 more episode#to let the story breath a little bit#I think caits descent was brushed over tbh#I really fucked w the way they were going w it and then it just ended w a time skip#AND we don’t get Any resolution for it#I really hate the cop angle a lot#sorry I will never fuck w it#cait said and did terrible things and it’s really not… addressed#I would’ve loved to have seen her resign#I Wish vi could have dealt w how she betrayed her entire ideals and Became the very thing that tore her family apart in the first place#1-2 more episodes and more balls to go all in on the anti cop thing and I would have fucked w it meet#arcane spoilers
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while i do agree that saying rhaenyra’s inheritance is rightfully hers based on the fact that her daddy said so is incredibly weak and very much entitled of her (i can literally talk about this at length) it’s also a weak take to say she isn’t the rightful heir because of *checks notes* ah, misogyny. like, come on.
#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon#hotd#i do agree and before anyone comes for my ass i thought it was very funny when emma said that ok no hate to that beautiful angel person#they were both (aegon and rhaenyra) “given” that inheritance if it’s a thing about character none of them “earned” it#“so i think aegon is the rightful heir bc he is the first born son”..... 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐#y’all always bring up the great council i ain’t even gonna go there bc i just don’t want to#rhaenyra’s THE ELDEST BOY idc#plus what really like really actually determinates what makes them “rightful” heirs to something like that?????#mind im not even team black nor team green but this is seriously a very weak take#you can argue about the multiple holes in rhaenyra’s heirship but i don’t really think anyone can argue about the legitimacy of it#i DO blame visery’s for the dance bc he never actually stood up in a meaningful wayfor his chosen heir#and i’m not trying to blame CHILD rhaenyra for not even trying to secure her heirship beyond her dad’s word#but she grew up and still did not gaf#which actively fuled the green’s cause not that aegon was any better but ykwim#n sayin she isn’t the rightful heir based on law... law can be change?? and didn’t they use to say back then that the king’s word was law???
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at the risk of sounding like really entitled….
does anyone else have a fic that is their most popular, but you don’t want it to be, because you don’t think it deserves it, and you have better stuff, and while ofc you are grateful that people like something you wrote, it’s almost annoying that for some reason That one is the most popular. lmao
#for me it’s this like time travel shenanigans ml fic called Why Are You Like This#which I had a ton of fun writing and I like the fic#but I also tend to forget about it lol#and then I see that it’s my most popular one and I’m like ‘not but this isn’t even in my top 5 favorite fics I’ve written. why’ hdjsjs#it’s probably closer to the bottom of the top 10? and I do not have that many fics hahaha#I remember rooting so hard for tell me something I don’t know to surpass it in kudos#which it eventually DID and I was so happy#but then later WAYLS passed up tms again lol#and I was slightly annoyed to realize that WAYLS was my first to break 5k kudos#while tms still hasn’t#it’s very close tho I need like. 2 more#ok ok sorry this definitely sounds super entitled DHDKDK#I promise I am VERY grateful for every fic interaction!! every kudos or comment I’ve ever received!!#thank you thank you to anyone who has ever read my stuff💜#I just think this is kind of funny#cause I keep scratching my head wondering why that one is the top fic#I think ppl just rly enjoy time travel stuff?#also I did it as a gift for yunyin based on one of her comics so that probably boosted it haha#anyway
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a strange trend in my favorite characters I realize is that I tend to heavily gravitate toward somewhat obscure, antagonistic forces
#shoutout to the multiple months when I was young when I was obsessed with flatwoman#‘who the fuck is flatwoman’ heh. well. you ever watch the pbs kids show peg + cat?#she appeared in like two episodes and let’s just say. I would’ve died for her as a kid#and yup ok you guessed it this trend continued with my boy pumpkin daddy#what thehell is wrong with that guy and more important question why is he my absolute favorite character of all time#I’m not even talking strictly about PDBC here alright? in that I have full control over him#in ROOTS? oh boy unstoppable force of nature someone Actually euthanize him or something he’s going to commit heinous crimes if left alone#he’s So bizarre mind if I just talk about that before going back to sleep? his morals are all over the place#‘this poor abandoned child. her mother should be ashamed of doing this to her. anyway let’s kidnap her for money’#and then he fucking pretends that he didn’t remember that happening#not that it DIDNT happen but that he just doesn’t remember it??.okay go off king??#at this point I don’t even know if he was lying he might just have Alzheimer’s or something he’s gettin kinda old#also Alzheimer’s is the worst word ever I have to look it up to spell it every time ffs so annoying#also worth mentioning that he almost got himself killed in a pursuit of someone’s money#and then not even a YEAR later he was back at it again trying to scam the SAME people lol GIVE IT A REST#I didn’t type lol this is travesty istg I didn’t type lol there there’s a lol ghost on the loose#he needs to be put down or something#and why the hell is he actually one of the nicest parents like huh?..?man what??#yeah this is my little science experiment I made solely for money. i love her she’s beautiful she’s awesome#my brother in Christ pick a side are you horrible or not#ok also wait that reminds me. it was unintentionally implied that he wasn’t evil once#I won’t go into it for the sake of time but. raises eyebrow. what the hell do you mean#at least I think it was unintentional. it’s still weird to me and I never bothered asking#anyway I should probably go back to sleep I have n appointment in like. two hours. sigh#yayyyy I love characters who suck!!! 🥰🥰🥰 pop off you asshole king and or queen
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heyyyyyyy so in the malnourished fwhip explanation post you said you'd get back to the thing about gem and fwhip not liking that they got first pick during the famine and i fully agree with you. if it also you said you'd get back to it and you didn't and you're good at articulating things so I would like to hear you elaborate if you are willing
OH yeah. i had planned to get into that in the section where i talked about fwhip continuing to use the corrupted fertilizer because it works so well that it means his people are fed, but i didn’t elaborate much further than that. so i shall now!
(context for this can be found here, in case you missed that post!)
so as i said previously, when famine strikes the grimlands and the royal family have their food needs prioritized, this is something that fwhip and gem, despite both being very young, find awful. i think both of these kids have very strong senses of justice (cough because they’re both autistic cough), gem especially, since she’s the one being trained to be the next countess, so she’s a lot more worldly than fwhip at that point. fwhip is approaching this from a basic fairness standpoint- everyone needs to eat, it’s not fair that he and his family get priority. gem is approaching this based on her experience in other empires and her conversations with other to be emperors- this is not how a good ruler treats their people, a good ruler tries to put their people first always.
i think this manifests in a variety of different ways when they get older. for fwhip, this manifests in putting his people’s food needs above his own when it comes to the corrupted fertilizer. if the fertilizer was giving everybody else nightmares, he would’ve heard about it by now, so clearly it’s just him. that means the fertilizer is a net good, so it stays. i think fwhip is a weird and very distant ruler, one who thinks of himself as a little too equal with his people, and that can be good and bad. something like this, where he puts the people’s need for food above his own wants is (for everyone else) good, but it also means he doesn’t really register how much more important his actions are than anyone else’s. for someone else in the grimlands (or even for fwhip just a few years ago, when he was still the kid brother to the rising countess), blowing up your friend’s house might get you in trouble, but it’s not a big deal. for modern day fwhip, it’s literally an act of war. “peace is boring” is a very frightening attitude for a ruler to hold, and he holds it because he wasn’t properly trained to be count, he’s still very young, and he views himself and his people as pretty much the same when, unfortunately, they just aren’t.
for gem, i think what this does for her behavior doesn’t manifest for her a while. she ran away from the grimlands because she wanted to be a wizard, she wanted to be anything but countess, and i think she did fundamentally believe fwhip would do better than she could. so she becomes a wizard in a very insulated community, and then her instructor disappears and leaves the entire place in her care, and that freaks her out. yes, she was trained to have far greater responsibilities than this, there aren’t even any students for her to train yet, but being in charge scares her still. she so desperately wants to be a good ruler, a better one than anyone in her family line has been for a while, because she’s been up close and personal with bad ones. and i think for gem specifically that manifests in her wanting to be a just ruler. very few people are ever fully beyond redemption for gem. her pillager students just need to put their weapons down, and then they’re ready to learn! see, they weren’t really evil, just angry and armed. sausage has good left in him, even at his worst, she knows it. she just needs to draw it out of him, at any cost. scott didn’t mean to hurt her, he was just scared and she pushed him too far, that’s on her. i think the only person she sees as truly, 100% beyond redemption, who she never really changes her tune on, is xornoth. even the other emperors she isn’t a fan of i don’t think she thinks are irredeemably evil, they’re just assholes and she’s gonna be an asshole back (or she’s gonna let the other WRA members do it). (the only outlier to that is maybe joey. at some point after he gets the crown from xornoth, somebody says he’s most likely beyond saving, and that somebody might be gem but i can’t remember. if it is, i think she had simply run out of energy for second chances for him, and he’s not her responsibility anyways, so she feels less bad about doing it to him than say, a student of hers. if she isn’t the one who says that, disregard.) she is trying to extend justice, to extend second tries to everyone. arguably she even tries this with xornoth, when she tries to learn more about him when he first shows up, but he also made it very clear he had no intentions of improving, so.
TLDR: i think both roseblings are affronted at the fact that because they are nobility, they are inherently better treated in times of crisis. for fwhip, this is because he thinks it’s unfair, that he’s not inherently better than the people of the grimlands, so it’s unfair for him to be treated as such. for gem, she thinks it’s unjust. a good ruler, a just one, would put their people first. so when they get older, this manifests in a variety of ways. for fwhip, he views himself less as a count and more as just another citizen of the grimlands, a tinkerer with a penchant for explosions and not much more. this means in times of crisis he puts the needs of the many over the needs of the few, but it also means he doesn’t think about how much more weight his actions carry with the other empires than the actions of a regular person. for gem, this manifests as trying to extend justice, a helping hand, a second chance, to everyone she can. even at her detriment, there are very few people she believes are totally beyond saving, and she tries as best she can to save them.
#empires smp#empires s1#fwhip#geminitay#i will say i am much more familiar with fwhip’s character#as i still haven’t watched gem’s pov in full#but i do feel good about both of these points#that tldr is also pretty long sorry about that lol#my writing#also ty for saying i’m good at articulating things teehee#oh i will also note. yes gem does just leave her students unsupervised at the end of her season#i genuinely don’t think this is any sort of malice on her end i think she thinks that’s totally fine#because that’s exactly what HER mentor did (when he TURNED INTO A CAT AND DIDNT TELL HER) so like. she was fine they’ll be fine clearly#like yes her empire is in shambles but gandalf can deal with it! it’s fine!#ok i am extrapolating the stuff about gandalf i think#i don’t remember if that’s actually canon or not#i know he is a transmutated wizard who retired as a cat i can’t remember if he was in charge when she showed up#but you get the idea#this whole post is extrapolation and headcanon that’s what you’re here for#i think you can let me have this#my art
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*watches the prequel trilogy with the og trilogy once* GUYS I THINK I UNDERSTAND STAR WARS NOW
#star wars#I have enough chaotic thoughts that I could let this take over my blog for a short time but I probably won’t lol#it’s just that I spent the prequels going ‘ok but this is Bad’ a lot of the time#but then I followed them with the og trilogy (which I’d at least 60% seen before) and suddenly that new background information MADE SENSE#like. Darth Vader. he really IS protective of Luke from the get go. like. hello Anakin.#so like. parts of it are still a bit of a dumpster fire.#BUT I SEE THE FRAMEWORK NOW#brb thinking about Leia carrying her mother’s sadness. that’s a thought. ‘Beautiful and kind and sad’#like. just. oof.#I also actually understand why the prequels are Bad now which is fun and I’m temporarily obsessed with them#may watch TFA at some point because I wanna meet Rey and Finn but I will not complete the sequel trilogy lol#little bro says the sequels Aren’t Star Wars and I preemptively agree but I just wanna steal the good parts to add to my mind#may watch Rogue One at some point too#and then we’ll see if I submit myself to the devastation of the clone wars because I probably shouldn’t but also it would probably fix me#I’m gonna shut up now. I should get ready for bed.
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“i don’t want you to get hurt” says owen harper, the guy who continuously hurts her
#like hello ok 😭#stop being a bitch to her then maybe hmmm??#think of that ????#i’m still conflicted about them btw#can’t tell if i like towen or not lmfao#torchwood#owen harper#toshiko sato#towen
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I dunno, and I haven't read the Ascendency novels to be clear, so I can’t speak of who he was before his exile - but maybe Thrawn accepting Grand Admiral for that shitshow on Batonn sealed his fate. Maybe he wasn't the one to pull the trigger, maybe he was appalled by the needless death - he still took the promotion, even if he didn't want it. The moment he took the rank plate was the moment the blood on his hands became insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The moment where all his intentions begin to be buried by his actions.
Everyone is all about how Thrawn isn't that bad of a guy - and honestly I do agree that his character is misunderstood more often than not - but he still did terrible things with the Empire. Turned a blind eye and condoned much more with silence.
Because the fall of Nightswan and Batonn may not have been his fault - but he accepted the stain when he took his promotion.
For all you try to keep things fair, it doesn't matter if you're working in a system that is instituted to be cruel. And while Thrawn had never claimed to be a good man, and had only joined ultimately for the protection of his own people, there's something to be said of this deterioration of morality. How he doesn't understand politics, but is still shaped by the dangerous and vindictive workings of Imperial political scene, forgoing honesty for station.
Pirates and smugglers turn to insurgents and rebels. Capture turns to execute. He kills to prove a point.
He develops for the worse. For all he shapes the Imperial Navy, it shapes him all the same. I dunno. Complex character and all o that. He’s no scum of the earth true evil, but he’s no shining star either.
#I have not watched rebels I have not read the ascendency novels yet I am in the middle of alliances right now#so bear with me. baby’s first analysis#*flips off sky* for Arihnda Pryce and her hand in all of this (who’s truly to blame for Batonn)#like listen. he’s a bad guy! but he’s not a bad guy#like yeah. my man is almost court martialed for when he saves innocents over imperial resources#but also he climbs the rank by doing good for the empire. like that’s a net negative#true he may hold loyalty to his people and not the empire. but it’s not about loyalty it’s about morality#you can commit treason to the empire and still not have been a good guy. yknow#i dunno. Thrawn is better than he could be but worse than apologists say I guess is the point.#and maybe there’s something to be said about how this happens once Eli Vanto leaves. his one true friend. i think that’s significant#I’m just thinking ok#like. a good imperial is still an imperial!!!! that’s all#ahsoka better do this motherfucker justice I swear to god#Thrawn#thrawn trilogy#grand admiral thrawn#Star Wars rebels#sw#Star Wars#z speaks
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argh. This comic writing is taking me way longer than usual. I keep editing things and it doesn’t feel right.
#wip#i think I finally got it#The issue is usually plots come to me formed yk#But for this one#I did have a plot but it was more related to Chil having a v bad experience and Mei hearing about it and then him telling her#Not to go thru with her plans to become involved with adventures in a sort of threatening way#So I had that all sketched out and then randomly I decided I wanted more drama#so initially I extended it and had it be that maybe she tried to hug him or something but he reacted Badly bc of his aforementioned shit#But I didn’t like that and it felt jarring and sort of…over dramatic. Too much.#So then I got rid of that. And then I was like well maybe he and Mei should actually have a conversation about it#Like he brings it up#So I wrote that and I had him get really mad at her and let that sit around for a minute bc uh-oh there’s another problem#Seee the issue with doimg multiple rewrites of something is suddenly the part that was initially meant to be the focus. Is not important#Anymore and is actually distracting from the main point#So OK I delete all that and rewrite that to make it less distracting#Still keep the important buildup in that scene but focus on Mei more bc this is a comic that’s from her pov#Ok ok yeah. I like that. But THEN#UH OH NEW PROBLEM. ! Remember that He gets really mad scene? The one I let sit to go worry about the middle section#Well. Haha. I read the whole comic back again to check for flow and shit#Get to the end#WOW ITS OUT OF CHARACTER AND JARRING. He’s not mean or anything I just don’t think he’d yell in that sort of emotional way?#I got so lost in the sauce I forgot to write good#So now I’m stuck. It’s so out of character so obviously I get rid of that problem.#Change it so he does still yell but less and also differently. and also now Mei gets to be pissed tf off#and tied it into several previous comics since I like things to be connected to each other#I think?? I think I’m happy with it now…but Jesus Christ#I don’t usually have to do Any rewrites#And the number of other comics I want to do is piling up so I take breaks to sketch those out for later#Then return. To my undoing.
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something about finding the people who sit through your info dumps with joy on their face and enthusiasm for your passions. something about finding the people who info dump right back at you because they know you love hearing about their passions. something about finding the people who manage to sum up your being in one niche, oddly specific sentence that lives in your mind rent free for the rest of time. something about finding the people who not only accept you for who you are but embrace you for who you are. who not only tolerate your quirks and differences but love and cherish them.
#i’m in my feels today if you couldn’t tell#just thinking about one friend in particular who i don’t get to see in person nearly enough but i text all the time#idk it’s the little things#the way we send each other videos of ourselves explaining whatever we’re learning about right now#the way we don’t write it in a long message because the emotion and vibes don’t translate properly#the way he’s told me that the way i dress is so gender nonconforming in his eyes#how even though i’m afab and i wear glittery makeup and crop tops and have pink hair#i still look so queer and so gnc and so Not Girl in his eyes#how that felt so validating#how i could feel the genuine love in his words#how he told me once that i’m ‘not a person with lore but rather a person with a schtick’#and how he explained to me what my schtick was and how accurate it was#how he told me he can’t wait for me to get my degree(s) and be an openly queer person in stem#how he can’t wait for me to defend my thesis sometime in the future and be wearing the brightest makeup and the biggest earrings#and the tallest boots#how he loves that i go to my chem lab every week with glitter on my eyes#how it’s cool that i don’t care if i stick out like a sore thumb because i’m me#i remember how he dropped the she/her pronouns immediately upon ne saying i didn’t really vibe with them#(even when they were still technically on my list of ‘ok to use pronouns’)#how his boyfriend who i don’t know very well has always they/them-ed me because my friend does#and if my friend is doing it then it must be the right thing#idk i just love my friends#and this friend in particular is someone i’ve gotten really close with over the past 6 months or so#and i’m so glad to have him in my life#platonic love#friendship#tell your friends you love them
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