#I’m sick and tired of all this negativity
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afterartist · 1 year ago
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Just a cutesie little reminder!!
If you think bullying and belittling beginner artists is okay you can get tf off my page 🥰
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goldenhylia · 2 years ago
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I know this is a joke, but the people in the comments agreeing…. Y’all are so fucking stupid.
Zelda hasn’t been kidnapped are y’all actually blind lmao. She’s clearly working with another faction fighting against Ganondorf
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whalesung · 1 month ago
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dpd positivity for once. i love you guys and are hope you’re having a good day! cluster c ppl you are amazing! sending all the positivity to all the anxious pds out there!
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ranger-kellyn · 3 months ago
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really and truly nothing kills my art drive more than having to be in the office 🙃
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kimtaegis · 2 years ago
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trying really hard not to be upset these days
#tw negativity#literally sitting in my car on campus and try not to burst out into tears#yoongi’s album release just kind of set something in motion in me#all the songs and lyrics just cause this weird chest pain in me and make me think of everything all over again#about how tough the last few years were#and then the amygdala mv yesterday was the last straw#I got so triggered#everything’s just so triggering#I do find comfort in it but also so much pain#and then there’s the concerts starting tomrrow and I don’t know how to handle my anger and disappointment regarding that#and the haegeum graphic…I worked so so hard on that#2.5 days… FULL days..so at least 12 hours a day#I try so hard to always bring something fresh and original and creative to the table#but this takes time and once I’m finished no one cares anymore#everything has to be so fast-paced all the fucking time#it’s only ever really quantity over quality anymore#and I’m sick and tired of having to pretend I’m just doing these edits for myself and that that should be enough#it’s just so unfair and it makes me so angry#I feel yoongi saying all these things about creating art and how you just want to quit all the time#I hate that this makes me question my abilities#maybe I should listen to my irl friends and find a different way outside tumblr to show what I can do#somewhere where my effort and eye for detail and passion and creativity gets appreciated#I’ve been taking this all for granted for way too long#I’m growing so tired of always trying my best and it never being enough#it’s the same in every damn aspect of my life#I love bts so so much but I can’t really handle all the negative sides that come with being in this fandom lately#it makes me feel really really horrible about myself#maybe it’s time to force myself to take a step back…#I just want to enjoy without all of this crap going on in my mind
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wurm-food · 2 years ago
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think I’m going to go bury myself in some dirt or something. it’s better than being belittled at my job I don’t give a shit about. idk
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graevs666 · 2 years ago
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god i don’t wanna be here i don’t wanna exist
#i hate myself so much#I’m sick of myself and sick of this world#i got upset at Lexi bc they said they didn’t wanna hang lol like i just shutdown n went quiet even tho they drove to take me to the shops#bc I’m ill#like I’m tired of always getting hurt I’m so damn sensitive all the time#like idk i guess i just thought they were gonna stay at mine for a while like we usually do#n instead they just wanted to go home#which is obv fine like they can do whatever they want but im sick of getting upset over this stuff#n i always feel horrible and guilty when i get triggered whether it’s shutting down or passive aggressiveness#or having a meltdown over stuff idk i just feel so emotionally childish n even when i know it’s wrong to feel tht way it still happens#i just wish i knew how to be better and stop being like this#n my therapists just keep telling me well it’s okay and normal to feel this way because I’ve been thru bad experiences before n thts why#i feel abandoned and unloved#but it’s like I’m 24 i shouldn’t be so emotionally all over the place and get triggered all the time like i can’t function bc of this#n i end up just acting in ways i don’t like like if someone was acting this way w me id be exhausted I’m not surprised I’ve been called#exhausting and too sensitive and negative and immature bc i am n hell if u don’t like me dw i hate myself more ive literally been trying#to get better and it’s going nowhere i think i just gotta end myself fr#journal
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dreams-in-daylight · 2 years ago
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celestialmancer · 4 months ago
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⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;
#this is a fucking vent so just gnore the venty ass tags but i have nowhere else to place this that feels safe other than just.#shouting into a void where no one hears. aka here ig.#bc its better i shout into a void alone than drag others down with me somehow—i dont. know#regardless… i’m just… i dont know what to think.#things are really bad lately & i’m struggling again to stop myself from sh utting down every time i try being vulnerable & opening up.#i keep clamming up & letting my mind take the reins when it tells me to just erase anything i say. to not open up.#to swallow every single emotion & experience that’s hurting me & let that poison kill me slowly instead. deal with it alone#because it feels like its wrong to open up. like its wrong to say anything. like me being open is just.#me being a fucking burden or something. i don’t know. i shouldn’t be like this. i’m supposed to be fucking better than t his.#what the fuck happened to the version of myself that could just keep suppressing & suppressing & not being a goddamn thorn in ppl’s sides.#esp bc all the things i’m having a difficult / painful time with is all fucking trigger heavy shit or things that i just don’t.#fucking know what to do with anymore because its not shit within my control.#a lot of it’s shit im still just processing that has hurt a lot & havingg to cope w that grief alone.#but then there’s also other circumtances too that are hard to navigate & my BPD having a field day w me in recent history too#i don’t know what the fuck is wrong w me at this point. & im scared & i can’t stand being fucking alone in this shit yet.#i feel like i have to. i have to. i have to. beccause this is my own issue & to dare express anything is me just. using ppl isn’t it.#that’s all it is right. & besides how many times has it been proven that ppl get sick of me for not being okay.#how many times have ppl walked away because they realize im just some fucking deadweight emotionally or something. id on’t fucking know.#am i spiraling? who fucking knows! maybe! because im fucking tired of what my life has been in general & im. overwhelmed.#overwhelmed by existence itself i fucking guess & what its meant for me overwhelmed by expectations overwhelmed by vulnerability thats just.#bleeding out through the fucking cracks of this fucking mess of a person i am.#& constantly fucking afraid that im just. too much. too much. too much for anyone.#too emotional in fucking general too intense too overwhelming for others regardless if its overwhelming them via pos or neg emotions.#afraid im going to get discarded afraid of what’s to come afraid in fucking general. fear & grief & pain & rage & hatred &.#desperation to feel anything other than this & desperation to feel loved thats got me having rly foul compulsions too#all my emotions feel like some kind of fuckihng hairtrigger & its hard to stop it in fucking general. i dont fucking know. & like i said it.#feels like shit to deal with completely alone. not bc i wanna deal with alone but bc i /have/ to bc if i dont then im just. a problem. or.#i dont know. im tired of everything tired of my emotions tired of this life tired of all that ive had to face up til this point & tired of.#fear & idk how to handle things alone anymore. my friends deserve better than this emotional burden i am to be around ig.#it feels so much like i have to apologize to those i befriend for being. well. this. for all of me & for being ‘too much’ in general.
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modafalyst · 5 months ago
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i think i might actually stop using social media because what the fuck is wrong with people
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seventh-district · 1 year ago
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#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#i wanna vent but. i don’t even know what to say#maybe i’ll just go write something instead. like. fiction. a story.#get the pain out by putting it into a story instead.#it worked with Paralyzed. and it seemed to be appreciated by/helpful to a number of other people as well. maybe it’ll work again#don’t know if i can though. brain just wants to clock out for the rest of the day#but i can’t vent abt this here cause i do that enough already and it just makes people feel sorry for me#i appreciate the concern i just. i don’t want to drag anyone else down anymore#i’m the way that i am because other people couldn’t keep their trauma to their selves. or deal with it in appropriate ways#so maybe i’m not any better than them if i keep subjecting people to all my negative emotions every time i’m upset#like. where does the cycle end. i feel like a container that people keep dumping their life’s waste in and i just have to. hold onto it#because if i go and dump it somewhere else then it’s just someone else’s problem to clean up#what do i do with it all though. it’s making me sick.#how do i process it and purify it into something that can safely be put back into the world when i feel like i’m going to explode#i’m just so tired of the yelling. how loud can a humans voice even get jesus fucking christ#i don’t know why it’s so terrifying. they’re just words. i mean they’re not. they’re not baseless threats. ive learned that from experience#anyways i’m sharing too much again. i gotta stop mentioning so many specifics on this blog cause one day someone irl will find it#and ohhhhhh the fallout that would cause! terrifying#so i should. choose my words more carefully and be a bit less specific in these vent posts going forward#anyways. today was going great until i got triggered pretty badly again so. i guess i can kids the rest of my plans goodbye for today#i’ve been productive for 12 hours now though so. good enough i guess.#still really wanted to be able to enjoy my evening and be Social but i don’t think i can anymore. i’ll try again tomorrow#i did manage to pack the work i had planned for the next three days all into today though so that’s good.#helps free up a bit of my packed schedule for the rest of this month. hopefully i’ll be able to make good use of the extra time#but knowing myself i might just squander it on something unhealthy and self-indulgent#whadaya want from me im just a tired little creature trying to survive in a harsh environment#so sometimes doing my best is ignoring everything and sitting alone in the dark eating pasta while watching ppl play shitty horror games
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raeathnos · 1 year ago
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teruthecreator · 1 year ago
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MAN -__-
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fxllfaiiry · 1 year ago
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❥ It's so sweet, knowing that you love me
★ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader
★ summary: miguel knows you're pregnant, the only problem is he doesn't know how to to tell you. ─ or the time miguel found out before you.
★ warnings: fluff!! usage of many pet names, angst if you squint, miguel being a simp for his wife, pregnancy stuff, swearing, some shitty humor.
★ notes: there aren't enough dad and husband miguel fics out there so i had to write this!! icon credits: @/natashowlet
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Miguel knew something was off, he’s known for days.
You’ve recently been throwing up, having odd cravings and random mood swings. At first, he thought you might be sick, you thought the same thing but now he knows it's not that. You were definitely pregnant. Everything adds up, and all of it made sense, then again he could be totally wrong. 
He made up his mind to try and talk to you once you returned home, he would surprise you with a romantic dinner and bring up the subject. He had about an hour to prepare everything. 
Well, that's what he thought, the second he got up to start preparing, you waltzed in through the door. 
“Mi Amor, I’m home.” Why are you home this early? He wanted to surprise you. 
“Mami, why are you home so early?” He says pulling you into a bear hug, usually, he would squish you completely but right now he wasn't sure that’d be the best idea. 
“What, aren't you happy to see me?” You chuckle. 
“No, no I'm really happy, I was just gonna cook you a surprise dinner that's all,”  he replies bashfully
“Aw, that's so sweet.” You threw your arms around him, placing kisses wherever you could reach. “I have the best husband ever.” 
“And I have the most amazing wife, now come on let’s go make something to eat.” He scoops you up in his arms and carries you bridal style towards the kitchen. He desperately wants to bring up the topic of you possibly being pregnant but now was not the best time, he didn't want to ruin the moment. 
This conversation could wait till tomorrow, right now he just wanted to enjoy some time with his wife.  
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“Good night, Miggy.” His head was buried into your neck, his arms were secured somewhat tightly around your belly, and your smaller hands were coving his bigger ones. 
He thought about bringing up the topic right now but quickly scratched off that idea.
He was so tired from the day's activities, he could fall asleep instantly.
He could hear you slowly drifting off, your breathing calming him down and lulling him into slumber... well almost. 
Just as he was on the verge of falling asleep he heard something ─ or rather someone. 
He could hear another heartbeat. Coming right from you. He thought he was going crazy at first, but the closer he listened, the clearer it got. He was right, you were pregnant.
Holy shit. You were pregnant. He was going to be a dad. 
In all this, it occurs to him that you didn't even know yet, he would have to tell you tomorrow no matter what.
He’s so happy. He finally has another chance, he won't mess up this time. He would do anything to protect you both.
But what if you didn't want kids just yet? The topic of kids has come up before and you both want them, but what if you changed your mind? There were so many things that could go wrong but Miguel tried to push all the negative thoughts away and focused on falling asleep. 
He slept like a baby that night. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── 
“So, honey, I was hoping to talk to you about something.” He avoided having the conversation all morning, now he needed to tell you. 
“What is it, Miggy?” You sit down looking at him expectantly. You could see that he was nervous, it was obvious by the way he was acting. “Is everything okay?” 
“Yes, everything is fine, mi corazón, don't worry.” How should he start? Should he just jump straight into it or start off slow? He should have thought about this before, well no time to do that now. 
He took a deep breath and it all came rushing out “I think, actually no, I know that you’re pregnant.”  
Silence. You were too stunned to speak. 
“Excuse me?” There was pure shock written all over your face, he would’ve laughed if the situation was different. 
“I heard 2 heartbeats last night, one was yours and the other one was -”
“Are you sure? I mean are you 100% sure? Maybe you heard something else?” You didn't want to get your hopes up just yet, you always wanted a baby with Miguel but if this turned out to be a false alarm you would be a little crushed. 
“I’m 9.99% sure. Bebé, if you want we can get a pregnancy test done?”
“Yeah okay, let’s do it.” 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
An hour later both of you stood in the bathroom. Three minutes felt like hours right now. 
You might be pregnant. This isn't some crazy dream.
“Bebé, if you don’t want to keep the baby I absolutely respect tha-” He’s still not sure if you’re happy with this or not. He was worried he messed up in some way. 
“No, I want to keep the baby but I just don't want to get my hopes up just yet. I definitely want to have a baby with you.” You wrap your arms around him, his scent calmed you down. You were going to be okay. 
“I want to have a baby with you too,” he whispers. 
You lean up to give him a kiss, your hands gently coming up to stoke his cheeks. Miguel pulled back and mutters, “I love you.”  
“Love you too.” A moment later you both heard the timer going off. This was it. 
You slowly step forward picking up the stick and turning it around. 
Positive. You were pregnant. 
“Well, what does it say?” This whole thing is making him feel so anxious. 
“We’re having a baby.” His wife is carrying his baby, this is real, he isn't dreaming. 
“I knew it! I was right.” He pulls you off the ground and into a hug, placing kisses all over your face while muttering small “thank you’s” and “I love you’s” 
“I can't believe we’re gonna have a mini O’Hara running around soon,” you giggle kissing his jawline. 
“She’s going to be just like her mother. ” Knowing a mix of you and him was going to be here soon made him feel content. 
“How do you know they're gonna be a girl, hm?” 
“Just… a small feeling.” His small feeling would be proven right 9 months later.
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luveline · 7 months ago
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do you have anything more from office frenemies with james? i just read it and i loved it so much
yes! love u ty
—you and James don’t get along until you kind of, sort of do. fem!reader, 1.5k
James listens to the most obnoxious playlist in the mornings. There’s about a fifteen minute window between when he arrives and when the workday officially starts, which coincides exactly with your window. He often gets the same elevator ride, walks a pace beside you, and decides whether he’s going to let the ‘lady’ go first through the door depending on the day. 
That morning, he’d opened the door widely, grinned at you with music blaring loud enough to make a normal person deaf from his earphones, and let you pass. Then he pretended to stick his foot out to trip you up, pulling it back at the last second. 
Jerk, you think, angry even now as he tucks himself into his desk, his earphones still ridiculously loud. He actually, genuinely, is going to get hearing damage. You’re not being bitter. Human ears aren’t meant for that. 
You click onto the workplace Outlook and open a tab on your desktop. How loudly can you listen to music? you google. A few articles appear straight away that fit your purpose —you drag them each into an empty email. Then, smiling to yourself, you find an article on the negative effects of workplace noise pollution and how this sort of selfishness can affect your coworkers’ mental health and add that at the very top. 
Hi James, 
please find attached a few articles I felt might be important for you to read.
Worst, 
Your unhappy adjacent desk. 
You know he’s received it when he laughs loudly, turning down his music with a few quick clicks on his phone. 
An email comes through to your inbox shortly after.
Hi bestie, 
I’m so so sorry for the noise. Please find attached a few articles I, in turn, felt you might enjoy. 
Best, 
James Potter :) 
He’s attached an irksome variation of articles. Why music can help you get ready for the day. Ten ways workplace friendships are important. Can you really find your soulmate at work? 
You open your personal messaging system. You tend not to use it with James, but this morning he’s winding you up. 
I could report you to HR for that last one, you send. 
He replies quickly. You try very hard not to look up at him from over your desktop. I didn’t mean me. 
You’ll be deaf by thirty. 
Jealous you don’t have such great taste in music? 
Jealous of everyone in the annex. 
Want a cup of coffee?
You meet his gaze finally over the computer, find him already looking at you. You shake your head scornfully. In what world would you ever want him to make you a coffee? He’s never actually offered to make you one before, to be fair, but he’s awful to you so what are you supposed to think? He’ll probably poison it. 
He stands to leave. Remus, the other accountant to complete your trio, arrives while he’s gone with his boyfriend Sirius in tow. They’re also James’ best friends, unfortunately. It makes for some awkwardness. 
“Where is he?” Remus asks you, in the midst of a quick goodbye kiss before Sirius makes his way to his desk further down the office. 
You nibble your lip and give a dispassionate shrug. You hate talking about James. You hate his stupid mess of hair, his reading glasses, his lips when he smiles crookedly and worse when he’s glaring at you. You hate the way he sighs as he clicks his neck, the quick lap he does every other hour complaining of tired legs, the genuine tenderness he shows you whenever you’re sick. You hate James. You don't like to think about him too much lest you get caught, a fish in a net.
Or a fish with a painful hook in its lip. 
“Ah, you’re here,” James says, two cups of coffee in his hand. 
You’re only a little heartbroken when he puts one on his desk and one on Remus’. Didn’t want one anyways. 
Remus grins as James comes up behind him for a rough hug and hair ruffle. “How was last night?” 
“I wish you’d come. Sirius spent all night trying to out drink Marl, you know he can’t, so I spent all night holding his hair out of his face. I wasn’t gonna talk to him this morning, but he was being very pathetic.” 
James laughs. You pretend you aren’t listening to them, pretend you don’t feel left out even if they have no reason to be your friend, clicking at random things on your screen and scrolling through spreadsheets long finished and filed. “You know I couldn’t come, Moony,” —no point starting on their awful nicknames— “what if she needed me?” 
You still. She? 
“James, there’s not much you can do,” Remus says gently. He’s a quiet, soft sort of man, but they’re all so loud about loving one another. “You have to let her… you know.” 
You feel them both looking at you, your gaze steadfast on your screen. 
“Try not to think about it,” Remus says. 
“I’ve been distracting myself,” James agrees. 
Oh, you think. Oh. I’m such a dick. 
“You could go home?” Remus says, putting his face in his hand. “I could cover you.” 
“It’s too much work.” 
“I know, but, you know, I’ll do half, and you’ll only have half to catch up on when you come back.” 
You’re not sure who she is, and you very much still don’t like James Potter, but you're not heartless. He sounds awfully upset, fragility to his voice and a foreign balling of his fist by his hip. “Um,” you say, clearing your throat weakly, “well, with me and Remus, we could cover for you.” 
James’ face is unreadable, looking down at you. “You’d cover for me?” he asks. 
“Your work isn’t exactly hard, James.” 
“But you’d do it?” 
“How long will you be off for?” 
James frowns. “Like, two days?” he says quietly. 
“That’s fine. We can do that,” you say, checking with Remus from around James hip. “Yeah?” 
“Of course,” Remus says quickly. 
James looks at you long and hard. “You’re not kidding?” 
“No, James. Not kidding. You’d do the same for me, right?” 
James leans down to hug you before you can stop him. His arms wrap around your shoulders, a perfectly amicable touch made up of sleeper muscle and the attractive smell of almond oil, nearly sweet, slightly woody. He laughs against your cheek as he pulls away, turning back to Remus for a similar hug. “Thank you. I’ll go tell Danny right now.” He beams at you. His relief is thick as honey, palpable in his warm tone. “Thank you.” 
You can’t look at him very long. 
The memory of his fingers linger, the weight of his arm behind your head. He excuses himself to go talk to your boss, and you and Remus sit in a semi-awkward silence, of which you’re wholly responsible. 
“His cat is dying,” Remus says eventually.
You wince. “Oh, no, really?” you ask. 
“He’s had her since we were kids. It’s really nice of you to do this.”
“I really do think he’d do it for me,” you interrupt. “I’m not, you know, cruel, because we don’t get on.” 
“I know. James knows that too.” 
You want to get defensive. Why does it matter if James knows? But Remus is too nice to argue with, and secretly, strangely, you’d wanted James to know you aren’t mean. You wouldn’t have sent him that email this morning if you’d known, and maybe this is apology enough for that. 
Still, it doesn’t feel right when James returns, gathering his suit jacket from the back of his chair. “Thank you guys, so much. I will bring you the most amazing desserts of all time as a thank you. I won’t even put your mug on the top shelf the next time I wash it,” James promises you. 
You bat aside the rage of knowing he’s the culprit and instead get out of your seat before he can leave. “Uh, James?” you ask. 
He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah?” 
You look at the floor by his shoes. “About earlier…”
James stands subtly between you and the bulk of the office. “You okay?” 
“I just– I’m sorry for complaining about your earphones. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive.” 
“You weren’t insensitive,” he says, “I was being obnoxious. Don’t worry about it, okay?” 
“I–” You hate yourself for all your stammering. “Hope whatever is wrong, that you’re okay. I’ll cover for you for the week if you need me to.” 
“Please stop feeling sorry for me. It looks weird on you. I much prefer you when you’re frowning, you get these super deep wrinkles in your forehead that I just love.” 
You turn away without looking up. “I’m gonna input all your sales information wrong.” 
“And I’m gonna bring you the best donut you’ve ever tasted to say thanks, sweetheart.” 
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97linelover · 4 months ago
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Shielding her heart - Jeon Wonwoo
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summary: When Jeon Wonwoo becomes embroiled in a scandal that threatens to expose the love of his life, to a ruthless public, he makes the heartbreaking decision to leave her. For Y/N, being with Wonwoo has always meant living in the shadows of his fame, but when the paparazzi uncover her identity, the stakes become dangerously high.
Determined to shield her from the relentless scrutiny and vicious backlash, wonwoo ends their relationship, believing it's the only way to keep her safe. As he navigates the fallout from the scandal alone, Wonwoo is haunted by the love he sacrificed and the woman he left behind.
content: Idol Wonwoo x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff, smut
wc: 3.4 k
a/n: I had a talk with my best friend, we were thinking how hard it must be for idols to keep any kind of relationship a secret. It must be tiring for both parts, not being able to show your love freely.
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Standing in the spotlight comes with many negative aspects, but what if the person you love gets hurt in the process?
You and Wonwoo have been dating for about two years. You met during one of his nights out with close friends. Both of you were pretty drunk, and it ended with the two of you making out in the back of a cab.
Normally, Wonwoo would not have called or reached out to you, but as you made breakfast the next morning, dancing through your kitchen in an oversized shirt with some lace panties peeking out, he knew he was hooked.
From then on, the two of you started dating. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him.
He took you out on dates, always delivered flowers to your office, and made sure to spoil you with affection. Wonwoo seemed pretty distant at first, but as you got to know him, you noticed how loving he was.
Jeon Wonwoo made sure to give you all that he had.
At first, you weren’t sure if you could date an idol or if you wanted a secret relationship, but you were so in love with him that you wanted to try. It wasn’t always easy, but it became easier with time. You both knew your little tricks to hide in public.
But today was not like the other days. As you woke up to your phone ringing, you stretched your limbs and yawned while answering the call.
“They found out,” your best friend’s voice said, and your blood ran cold. “Well, good morning to you too,” you tried to lighten the mood. “Y/N, you went to the drive-in movies, and now you’re all over the news. You two are the top news,” you sat up straight.
You suddenly felt sick. “Please tell me this is a joke,” you whispered. “No, love, I think Pledis is trying to remove it, but it’s nearly impossible,” she said with sorrow in her voice.
“I need to call Wonwoo,” you said, panicking, and she agreed.
But you couldn’t reach Wonwoo. The time difference was a problem; they were currently in Glastonbury for their first festival, and he was probably fast asleep by now.
Y/N: Nonu, please call me as soon as possible. Y/N: God, shit is about to go down... they know me now... they know my name... Y/N: I think I’m going to freak out...
You put your phone away, trying to catch your breath, but you felt the panic attack coming like a truck. You made it to the window, and the fresh air helped you calm down, but you also felt panic tears running down your cheek.
Luckily, you could work remotely, so today you stayed at home.
You went on Twitter, and there were two pictures everywhere: one where you two were getting snacks, giggling with each other, and the other clearly showed him kissing you softly. How could you not have noticed?
The day went by in a blur. You could barely focus and were relieved when work was over. You felt your phone vibrating, and when Wonwoo’s name appeared, you didn’t hesitate.
“Nonu,” you breathed, and his voice was raspy; he had been asleep but woke up seeing your messages. “Baby,” he breathed. “Nonu, I’m so confused. I really don’t know what’s happening,” your voice was quiet. “I didn’t see them; I wasn’t careful,” he sighed. “I talked to Jinyoung. He said they’re currently removing it everywhere, but it’s impossible; the fans know,” he tried to be strong.
“What am I supposed to do? Just wait and watch while they rip my life apart until they know everything?” you whined, feeling exhausted.
“You can’t do anything right now, baby. I’ll handle it. Fuck, you don’t know how sorry I am that I’m not by your side right now,” his voice was weak.
“It’s not your fault, love, you know that…” you meant it, but you knew that Wonwoo would blame himself. He always does.
“I need to go, baby. Please be careful. I’ll handle it,” he tried to sound positive. “I love you, Nonu,” you said with a soft smile. “I love you too, baby, more than you can imagine.”
You were excited for Wonwoo to finally be back home again. The situation got out of control at work today; paparazzi were standing in front of the office building, and you got called in for a meeting.
Everything would have been fine if they hadn’t live-streamed everything. Your boss said that under those circumstances, he couldn’t let you work at the moment, so you were now on paid holidays.
Wonwoo was supposed to be home already, but his car wasn’t in his spot. You still decided to cook something simple, just some Kimchi Jjigae.
But even when the clock showed 11 PM, Wonwoo was nowhere to be seen.
You fell asleep in his bed, worry written all over your face.
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When the next morning came, you woke up to a text from Wonwoo telling you to come to the Hybe building.
Now you were sure that something was going on. You wasted no time, hurrying towards the Hybe building. You were directly guided to the right floor.
You could see Wonwoo’s red hair that he had freshly dyed, through the glass window. He had his black glasses on and an oversized hoodie. He looked so tired that you just wanted to hug him.
Next to him were Cheol and Gyu, and they all looked exhausted.
You knocked carefully and then entered the room. All eyes were on you except your boyfriend's, who just looked down like he was ashamed.
“Morning,” you said quietly, and Jinyoung looked at you. “Good morning, Y/N. Sit down, please,” he gestured towards the empty seat opposite Wonwoo.
You sat down with Joshua next to you.
“I want to keep it quick and simple, Y/N. After those pictures came out, Wonwoo lost about 1M followers, and the new single with Jeonghan was found thrown away. This entire thing was the worst that could have happened,” you gasped because you didn’t know about that. “Wonwoo tried to help us, but the fans want a statement. This statement will go live in about 15 minutes, so we wanted you to know that the decision is final.”
“What decision?” you whispered, looking for help between the members. “That Wonwoo wants to break up, that there will no longer be a relationship, and that we will post that this was the first and only meeting the two of you ever had,” Jinyoung said. You felt your heart stand still.
“This is not true, right?” you asked, fiddling with the pen in front of you.
“This is for your and his safety,” he said, and you scoffed. “What do you know about my safety? Do you know that I was crowded at my workplace? That they found my parents’ restaurant? That they even stabbed the tires of my car?” you looked at Wonwoo, hoping for a response.
He looked up, his eyes filled with worry. “Are you okay?” his voice was raspy, but you just shrugged. “I don’t know if you really care,” you looked at Jinyoung, feeling fragile and small. “So that means, I’ll leave this room and never talk to him again?”
“That would be better. I know this will be hard, but if they spot you again, they won’t believe in Wonwoo’s honesty ever again,” he sighed, and you felt the tears. “Because he is not honest. This wasn’t just one time; it’s two years he will throw away, two years of love, of sharing important moments,” you sobbed, looking back at Wonwoo. “You will still lie to your fans. You will break me and yourself. But if this is what you want, we can do that,” you whispered.
“I already signed, Y/N,” he said, looking at the papers. “And you need to sign these NDAs.” A choked sob escaped you. “You really make sure nobody knows about us,” you felt like this was a sick joke.
“Y/N, I do this for you, for your safety,” he pleaded, and you shook your head. “You do this for yourself, Wonwoo, for your image. You’re not thinking about me right now!” you raised your voice. “You promised me to handle this, and this was the easiest way, pretending we never happened.”
The other members just watched. Joshua took your hand, trying to calm you down. “Maybe we should’ve never happened in the first place, Y/N,” Wonwoo said, and your eyes widened. You gasped, feeling yourself begin to shake.
“Don’t say something you’ll regret later,” Cheol said to Wonwoo.
You took the pen, signed the NDA, and got up. “I thought we were endgame, Wonwoo. I thought I found the man who would burn for me. But after all, you’re just running along the easy path.”
You must have looked like a madwoman, sobbing like that. “From now on, I’ll pretend you never owned my heart.” You handed Jinyoung the paper and rushed out of the door. “Y/N,” Wonwoo’s voice followed you towards the elevator.
“You need to believe me. I did this for you,” he said behind you, and you stepped into the elevator. “I wish I could, but this meeting changed my view on you. After all, you’re just an idol who would do anything for the perfect image,” he gulped at that.
You were right, that´s exactly how this seems.
I’ll pack your things and place them in the garden. I will never enter your apartment again. I left some things there yesterday; you can just throw them away. I didn’t think today would end like this,” you said as the door closed.
The journey home was a blur. You felt like throwing up the entire time. Your heart felt so heavy that you just wanted to scream.
You could only lay in your bed and cry. And as you saw the new Pledis update, you knew that this was not a fever dream:
‘Hello, this is Pledis Entertainment, We would like to inform you of some updates regarding the recent scandal involving our member, Wonwoo. He was recently spotted having a night out with a woman, leading to rumors that the two are dating. Wir möchten diese Gerüchte dementieren. Wonwoo ist im Moment mit niemandem zusammen; Dieses Treffen war ein einmaliges Ereignis. We ask for respect and privacy for the individuals involved. If we receive any reports of stalking or violence, we will not tolerate it. Thank you.’
You deleted the Weverse app in an instant, along with all your social media accounts, including Instagram.
You wanted to end this chapter of your life with a clean cut. Even if it hurt, maybe one day this wound would close again.
Two days later, when you saw a message from Wonwoo telling you that he had packed your things and you could collect them anytime, followed by an “I miss you,” you hovered over the block button. You hesitated for a moment but then pressed it.
You slumped down in your chair, sobbing once again.
This chapter was over.
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The days that followed were a haze of sorrow and confusion. Each morning felt heavier than the last as you grappled with the aftermath of what had transpired. You avoided any mention of Wonwoo, refusing to engage with news or social media that might remind you of him. Every corner of your apartment seemed haunted by memories, making it difficult to find peace even in your own space.
Work became your hiding spot—a place where you could bury yourself in tasks and momentarily forget the pain. Yet, the public scrutiny persisted, with curious glances and whispered conversations following you wherever you went. Colleagues offered sympathetic smiles, unsure of what to say or how to comfort you.
After all they were just happy that they were not getting crowded anymore.
One evening, as you sat at your kitchen table drinking a lukewarm cup of tea, a knock on the door startled you. It was an unexpected visitor at this hour, and your heart skipped a beat, hoping it wasn't who you feared it might be. You cautiously approached the door, peering through the peephole before cautiously opening it.
Standing before you was not Wonwoo, but your best friend, who had been your rock through all the highs and lows of your relationship. She enveloped you in a warm embrace, her presence offering a small measure of comfort amidst the chaos.
"I brought ice cream," she said softly, holding up a tub of your favorite flavor. "Thought we could have a girls' night in. Thought you could need it right now"
You managed a weak smile, grateful for her understanding without needing to explain. Together, you walked to the couch, sharing memories and laughter that momentarily lifted the weight from your shoulders. She was what you needed right now.
As the hours passed, she gently broached the subject that weighed heavily on both your minds.
"Have you thought about what's next?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.
You sighed, staring at the television screen playing a mindless show in the background. "I don't know. I can't even think about it without feeling... empty. Like something is missing."
She nodded in understanding, placing a comforting hand on your knee. "You don't have to decide now. Just focus on taking care of yourself. You´re well being is the priority here right now."
You hugged her, telling her how grateful you are for her.
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Days turned into weeks, and slowly, you began to piece together a new routine—a life that didn't revolve around Wonwoo or the whirlwind romance that had captivated and ultimately shattered your heart. You leaned on friends and family for support, finding peace in their unwavering presence.
One afternoon, while browsing through a local bookstore, a familiar voice called out your name. Startled, you turned to find Jake, a Colleague from your past—someone you hadn't seen since before Wonwoo entered your life.
"Y/N, right?" he asked with a warm smile. "It's been ages. How have you been?"
The conversation flowed effortlessly, filled with ,memories of old times and updates on each other's lives. It was refreshing to connect with someone outside the tumultuous world you had left behind. Jake was also pretty funny and you liked talking to him.
As you parted ways, he handed you a slip of paper with his number scribbled on it. "If you ever want to grab coffee or just talk, give me a call," he said kindly.
You tucked the paper into your pocket, a glimmer of hope flickering in your heart. Perhaps there was life beyond the shadows of your past—a future waiting to be discovered, one step at a time. Maybe a love after Wonwoo was possible.
But you felt Idiotic, you graved Wonwoo.
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Weeks had passed since you had last seen or heard from Wonwoo. The pain had dulled into a persistent ache, but you were slowly regaining your footing in a life that no longer included him. You had started to believe that perhaps this was the closure you needed to move forward.
One evening, as you returned home from work, you found a bouquet of flowers at your doorstep. Your heart skipped a beat as you recognized the handwriting on the card—a familiar one that had once brought you joy and comfort.
The card simply read, "Can we talk? - Wonwoo."
Conflicted emotions surged within you. Part of you wanted to ignore it, to continue healing and moving on. But another part—the part that still held onto love and hope—wanted closure, wanted to hear him out.
Against your better judgment, you found yourself dialing his number. The one you first needed do unblock. He picked up on the second ring, his voice tentative yet filled with longing.
"Y/N," he breathed. "I didn't think you'd call." his voice was so familiar to you, that you felt like screaming.
"Why did you send me flowers, Wonwoo?" you asked, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions raging inside you. You were everything but calm at the moment.
"I... I needed to see you," he admitted, his voice cracking with emotion. "Can we meet? Please?"
After some hesitation, you agreed to meet him at a quiet café that held memories of happier times, the one you always went to at night when no one was around. As you sat across from each other, the weight of unspoken words hung in the air.
His hair has gotten longer, messier. His Glasses were also new, he probably broke his last ones again, a habit of his.
He looked tired, like he did after comebacks.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Wonwoo began, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "I made a terrible mistake. I let fear and pressure dictate my actions, and I hurt you in the process. I never should have let you go."
His words were honest, and for the first time since the betrayal, you saw the vulnerability beneath his composed look. His words stirred a tumult of conflicting emotions within you—anger, hurt, and a flicker of lingering love.
"Why now, Wonwoo? It´s been months" you asked, searching his eyes for answers.
He took a deep breath, reaching across the table to hold your hands in his. "I've been a wreck without you. Seeing you move on... it made me realize how much I need you in my life. I can't bear the thought of losing you."
You pulled your hands away gently, needing space to process his words. "What about your career? The fans? The things that broke us in the first place"
"I don't care about any of that if it means losing you," he said honest and desperate. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, Y/N. I'll fight for us."
His declaration stirred something deep within you—a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you could find a way to rebuild what was lost. But doubts lingered.
"What about her?" you asked quietly, referring to the new Woman you had met recently, after you visited Vernons release party. "Are you sure it's me you want?"
Wonwoo's expression softened, regret etched in his features. "I was jealous, Y/N. Seeing you with someone else made me realize how much I took you for granted. You're the one I want, the one I love. The only one I´ve ever loved"
Silence enveloped the café as you processed his words. The wounds were still raw, but a part of you yearned to believe in his sincerity—to believe in second chances.
"I don't know if I can trust you again, Wonwoo," you finally admitted, your voice wavering with emotion.
He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand. But please, give me a chance to show you. I'll prove to you that things can be different this time. I'll be there for you, Y/N, every step of the way. I already told Jinyoung that I don´t care about the consequences, I only want you back "
As you sat there, thinking about the past and of the future, a part of you softened. You saw the remorse in Wonwoo's eyes, felt the depth of his love despite everything that had happened.
Maybe, just maybe, love was worth fighting for.
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In the weeks that followed Wonwoo's heartfelt apology and plea for a second chance, you cautiously allowed him back into your life. Despite lingering doubts and the fear of history repeating itself, his consistent efforts to prove his commitment slowly chipped away at your defenses.
However, the path ahead was far from smooth. He still was an Idol, fans took the Dating reveal of their Bias not very well. Every public outing together landed on Twitter and in genereal Social. The hate comments on social media intensified, criticizing your every move and questioning your worthiness of Wonwoo.
One particularly harsh article surfaced, dissecting your relationship with ruthless scrutiny. Tears streamed down your face as you scrolled through the hurtful comments, feeling exposed and vulnerable.
What if they are right? What if you´re not enough for him?
After all you´re just an average girl which is in love with an Idol.
Wonwoo found you curled up on the couch, trembling with tears streaming down your face. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close as you buried your face in his chest, seeking comfort in his warmth.
"I can't take this anymore, Wonwoo," you sobbed, your voice muffled against his shirt. "Why can't they just leave us alone?"
He held you tighter, his own frustration evident. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I hate seeing you like this. But please, don't let them get to you. They don't know us."
You looked up at him, searching his eyes for reassurance. "Do you really think we can make this work, despite everything?"
Wonwoo cupped your face in his hands, his gaze unwavering. "I know it won't be easy, but I want to try. I love you, Y/N, more than anything. And I'll fight for us, no matter what."
His words echoed in your heart, sending a flicker of hope amidst the storm of doubt. Slowly, tentatively, you leaned into his touch, seeking comfort in his embrace.
That night, as emotions ran high and the weight of their struggles bore down on them, you found solace in each other's arms. It was a tender, vulnerable moment—the feeling of longing, forgiveness, and the shared desire to rebuild what had been broken.
Wonwoo made sure to let you know how much he loved you, how much he cherished you and how much he graved you.
The night was like no other and you were grateful it happened.
As the morning light filtered through the curtains, you woke to find Wonwoo still beside you, his fingers intertwined with yours. His presence was a calm feeling within your heart.
"We can do this, Y/N," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Together."
And in that fragile, hopeful moment, you dared to believe that love could conquer the challenges ahead—that perhaps, against all odds, your love story will find its way back to happiness.
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