#and most days i end up not even going bc i’m too tired and wanna nap but then i nap for too long and don’t wanna leave the house

[teruthecreator]

MAN -__-

[soobrat]

pit stop; cyj

🖊️⇝ pairing; afab, blk!reader x yeonjun

🖊️⇝ word count; 8.3k

🖊️⇝ genre; friends 2 lovers, smut, fluff, & light angst

🖊️⇝synopsis; you should probably buy a lottery ticket with how luck you are when it comes to running into celebrities... despite just moving to a new country

🖊️⇝ warnings; very cliche "forbidden love w/ an idol" trope, end is unedited, mc thirsting heavily for mingi, heat of the moment sex, PIV, unprotected sex (mc is on bc), creampie, squirting, cum eating, cunnilingus, overstimulation, slight posessiveness, mc has faux locs at one point

📜⇝ HAPPY BHM!!!!! Would you believe me if I said I started this last BHM? :D Anyways if you're not a black woman you should still read this because it slaps. It would've been even better if I managed to post during valentine's day too.

There are many things that can go wrong in a foreign country all on your own, but for your own health, you push them to the wayside. Maybe you pushed them too far because now you’re stranded with a flat tire miles away from where you’ll be staying. It’s only your first day and you already managed to fuck it up. You have to commend your ability to surprise yourself even after all these years.

You don’t have a local SIM card and your phone is completely off. You should’ve listened to the internet when they gave you a long list of how to prepare your phone when moving abroad. Now it’s useless. You laugh humorlessly as the odds continue to stack against you. Do people stop for hitchhikers in Korea?

You try anyway, you know enough Korean to give them an idea of how to help you. Many cars slow down but zero cars stop. Some even roll down their windows to stare into your eyes as they leave you stranded. You don’t have proof, but you swear one of them took a picture. You can’t be appalled by their actions, it’s not like you came from the most friendly country anyway.

“Come on, people. Just a little slack. Cut me just a little.” You murmur desperately, forcing a strained smile as you wave down another car. It’s another window roller that leaves you behind. You suppose it must be a strange sight. And maybe they’re worried you don’t speak Korean. There you go again, waving any worrying conclusions away. Don’t wanna prove your family right.

Then comes yet another car slowing down. Except, this one is slowing to a stop. It’s a flashy car, much flashier than anything you’ve seen thus far. You don’t know much about cars, but you know the person you see once the window rolls down must be well off. He peeks at you with intrigue and a bit of amusement, his sly vibe fitting for his fox-like features.

“Need help?”

You nearly collapse to your knees in relief. Not only is he stopping to help you but he can speak English so you don’t have to embarrass yourself. “Yes! My car has a flat. My phone doesn’t work, I just need car… service… people.” God, can you speak English? You’re already huffing, looking really weird to this handsome rich man and the other handsome rich man in the passenger seat. 

“Are you a MOA?” Yet another man pokes his head out from the backseat to peek at you. His eyes are critical despite their roundness. He raises his eyebrows in a way that makes you think there’s a wrong answer. Your brain is already overworked for the day so you answer honestly. “I’m sorry, I have no clue what that is.”

Assuming you can’t understand, he mumbles “leave her” in Korean and slinks back into the backseat. 

“I’ll call the car service people for you.” The driver smirks and you can tell he’s making fun of you. You just force a smile and thank the man before retreating back into your car. Shut inside the one space familiar to you feels like finally getting a moment to breathe and reflect. This is just a little hiccup. Soon you’ll be at your new home and next week you’ll be working again. 

You were consumed in a book whenever help arrives, and lifting your head, you notice that flashy car is still there.

Luckily enough, the maintenance truck had an inflated spare available and you were on your way, but not before thanking the driver. As you approach he rolls the window down again before leaning his arm on the door.

“Thank you so much, I’m not sure how long I would’ve been out here if you didn’t help me.” You sigh. You weren’t sure what you could offer him to express your gratitude, you were pretty useless as of now. 

“It’s no problem. The least I can ask for is that you don’t tell anyone you saw us here.”

You have trouble keeping a smile on your face as a hint of dread sets in. Why wouldn’t they be allowed in the countryside? Were they criminals? Is this a common location for crime?

“I know you don’t know us yet, but in case you find out from the internet, just keep this between us.”

You did not find out from the internet. You found out eight days later when you saw a cardboard cut out of the driver in the mall. Holding up a makeup product he didn’t need with a smile that almost hides the eternal mischief hidden in his expression both times you’ve seen him. This whole time you thought they were notorious criminals and you were going to get booked before you even stepped foot at home. But no, the nice car was from them being idols, not criminals.

Maybe you were a bit in the dark about k-pop idols, but why weren’t they allowed to drive around? You hold that thought, possibly forever because you had just experienced a pretty rare occurrence so early into your move.  

-🖊️⇝

Tonight was your first office party since your move. Your boss saved up to rent out a hotel venue and even scored you and your coworkers rooms for the night. Less risky without the threat of drunk driving or getting kidnapped you guess.

“I could only book the ballroom today, so I’m sorry but you can’t wander around. You can only go in this room and the floor where your rooms are located. There’s a celebrity staying here and the hotel is pretty much on lockdown.”

Your coworkers immediately get to gossiping about who’s here and all you can do is marvel at the odds. There was no way you’d be meeting another celebrity. The odds are even more unfathomable than you previously thought. You break the rules on accident, drunkenly tapping the wrong floor number. Your eyes are closed when you stumble out and run into someone tall. 

“Um, this floor is… off limits.” The man grabs you by your shoulders and holds you at arm's length. Your head lolls back and you get a good look at the guy and he, in turn, gets a glimpse of you. His jaw drops open and he looks over to the other men behind him. Your brain had been too debilitated to translate Korean. 

“Hey! Are you that girl? Flat tire?” A familiar voice rings out and snaps you from your daze and you attempt to hold your head up straight. “Yeah! Car service people!” The driver whose name you’re sure starts with a Y says excitedly. Again with the mischief, sticking its pesky little head out more confidently with the teasing nickname.

“No way it’s you guys again.” You chuckle drowsily.

“Yes way!” The blond man lets go of your shoulders.

“Are you a MOA yet?” It was the one from the backseat asking the same question yet again. It completely slipped your mind to figure out what that meant.

“I still have no idea what that is.” You flash a tight smile as he narrows his eyes at you. One of the two you haven’t spoken to yet says something frantically to the others in Korean before they all turn to look at you. 

“Hey… do you want some water?” Y approaches you, speaking almost like he’s about to sell you something. Your eyes roll back, your urge to rest almost winning the fight.

“I want to go to sleep.”

“Let’s get you some water!” The blond one says enthusiastically before ushering you into a door down the hall. They talk to each other as you gulp down a cold bottle of water, slumped in the living chair they frantically cleared for you. This would help with your hangover tomorrow anyway. After they deliberate with themselves Y turns to you.

“Is your party still happening?” He kneels before you, talking to you like a lost child.

“Yeah, I left early.”

“Great! We were gonna sneak down there ourselves, but you going back would be easier.”

“You want me to go back?” You barely swallow your water before you ask. “Yeah. All we were given was fruit. We can’t survive on fruit and the food smells so good.” He pleads with his eyes before the blond chips in. 

“Please? We’re hungry.”

Downing your second bottle, you look at them warily as your mind sobers up. “You guys are famous. Can’t you just get room service?”

“No, we’re banned from it. They told the hotel not to serve us.” The black-haired one who looks to be the tallest or close to it pipes in. Much too massive for his youthful vibe.

You look at each pair of puppy eyes incredulously. “So they’re starving you?”

Yeonjun is quick to clear the air, starting to explain again that they had fruit before Mr. MOA interrupts him. “Yes!! We’re starving!” His whining is cut off by the blond scolding him.

“What are your names?” You ask once you realize you have no idea. 

You learn each of their names and each of the food items they want brought to them. You have five styrofoam containers filled to the brim in both arms as you board the elevator. You’re aware they’re exaggerating, but concern for them still flares up. They were pretty thin, and you’ve heard whispers of their insane diets. But you do what you do best. They seem fine, and they wouldn’t have the energy they’re exhibiting currently if something was wrong.

Thankfully, no one was on there with you. That is, until you see that someone had pressed the button from your floor. You stand there awkwardly as your coworker looks at you like you have five heads. Then he sees that you’ve pressed the button for a forbidden floor.

“K-pop fan?”

You sigh, shifting the containers in your hands. “No. I’m acting as a food delivery service.”

“Ah.” He doesn’t press you, nor will he say anything. None of your coworkers are the type. The idols are waiting impatiently by the elevator when the door opens, hurriedly unloading each container.

How you ended up with five grown men in your hotel room was really a blur. Apparently their manager might walk in and bust them if they stay in their room. “We’ll be quick!” They promised.

Now Beomgyu and Kai are napping on your bed while you lean against the wall. Yeonjun’s eating whatever is left over in the living chair in the corner, smiling happily at you. 

“I love you. I could kiss you.” He manages with his cheeks full of food. 

You give him a tight smile, familiar with his habitual attempts to fluster you by now. “That’s not necessary. Your manager is probably looking for you guys.”

“Nah. We’re allowed to wander around as long as we’re in our room before 1 am. Today was our last day.” You chew on his words as he chews on the remnants of his food. He swallows hard, forcing what seems to be a painfully large chunk of food down his throat. Food seems to placate his teasing disposition, a thought that makes you cover your mouth to conceal your smirk. It takes a moment for him to recuperate before he speaks again.

"What do you wanna do right now?" He narrows his eyes, pointing his plastic cutlery at you.

You’re not sure what he means exactly, even after taking a moment to let your eyes flit around the room. So you do what you usually do, shrug and be honest. "Around this time I'd be playing some game until my eyes are painfully dry."

He halts mid container disposal to peer at you excitedly. "You play video games? Which ones?"

Finally, something you were a natural at talking about. "I like games like Minecraft or Rust, but I dabble in FPS games too-" You get caught up in one of your favorite conversation topics, surprised when Yeonjun dumps his trash quickly before marching over to you and taking your hands.

"Oh please tell me you play Valorant."

"Yeah, like I said, I dabble-"

"Okay, I'm really gonna kiss you."

“Don’t you dare-” Your words are cut off by a chaotic mixture of a gasp and laugh when he pokes his lips out, leaning in slowly. He unpuckers his lips and they settle into a smirk. The realization of how close you are to each other sets in and brings about a strong flow of energy between you two. You shake his hands off yours and shove him away, forcibly resuming your playful aura. He laughs, widening his eyes once it dies down.

“Oh, I cannot wait to kick your ass.” He points, eyes posing as a warning. You huff as you pick up a towel. You sling it over your shoulder before raising your eyebrows at him. “Is that a bet or a promise?” 

And to think if your office party was planned even a day later, you would’ve probably never seen them again. Yeonjun nabs your phone while you were in the bathroom, sticking his number in there. The first important milestone of your relationship with the boys was being added to their group chat. Then you visited their dorms and them, your apartment. You weren’t aware of the transition, you just looked up and it felt natural to be around each other.

“___’s on!” Yeonjun cheers through your headset. He pauses once you turn on your webcam. “You found a hairstylist?”

“Yeah. Turns out there are black ones here. I never knew.” You reply, half paying attention as you adjust your camera.

“I know there’s a Korean name for that style but I feel like it’s… not correct. What’s it called in English?”

“Locs! Do you like ‘em?” You comb your fingers through each loc, careful not to tug at your tender scalp. “They fit you so well I forgot how you looked before.” He says as if he’s shocked by his own accuracy.

“You’re so right. I should’ve popped out the womb with locs.” You chuckle to yourself, unable to stop playing with your hair. Yeonjun has that look on his face like he’s about to smart-mouth you. “Locs and not wounding your own teammates would’ve been really handy.” He tries to quip quickly in an attempt to fly under your radar.

Your smile is immediately wiped off your face. “It was an off day for me, how many times do we have to go over this?”

“Next time your favorite character dies don’t come online.”

“I knew I should’ve hung out with Taehyun today.” You transition from excitement to insults like it's nothing. These boys definitely make it easy.

“Yeah, whatever. Are you coming to Mingi’s party next week or do you have work.” He says as if the word itself affronted him. New names were constantly thrown at you. You took a break from researching and watching videos because it was just too much. 

“Why are you always so offended by my job? And I’ll see if I can make it.”

It makes it even harder to consume content about these idols when you think of what they go through. From these five alone, you can tell how hungry these idols are to be in this position. They put up with so much and you can’t help thinking their companies take advantage of that.

“You know, you never told me why you weren’t allowed to drive around the day we met.”

An effortless transition is made again as Yeonjun sets aside his teasing. “We have a lot of rules. Like, a lot. It’s no problem, we all knew what we were signing up for pretty much. It feels kinda pointless to go through all that work just to get in trouble, so we hold each other accountable.”

“I’m guessing that’s not counting the hotel food heist?” You bring up with a snort. It feels a little silly to make an exception for food.

“That was a small rule, and we just finished the final concert of a very tiring tour. The day we met I rented a car after a full month of grueling practice hours with little to no sleep. We were hysterical. So we took a ride.”

The boys seem alright. They’re full of life most days and with no context, you would have no idea what they’re going through. He informs you that this party is another one of those exceptions. There are secret parties thrown constantly but it was reckless to go without thorough planning. You like the thought of them getting a proper break and they really want you to come, so you do what you never do: call in fake sick to work.

But not before attempting a little research. Perhaps a different approach would help. You’re picking at scraps since you only have one internet friend who likes kpop. What if they never heard of him?

___: Y’all who is Mingi

You sent out the tweet before you went to sleep. You had just gotten your ass handed to you on Valorant so you didn’t feel like being let down that same night. You woke up to more notifications you’ve seen on all your social media accounts combined.

mingitzsong: you mean our lightskin king Malik???

That was not the tweet you expected from your friend, not by a long shot. Nor were you expecting the “my moot has a hit tweet!” DM.

Your notifications were flooded with fancams, edits, pictures– is that a video of him grabbing his…?

It was too early and you had gone too long without being satisfied by another person so this was all going to your head. You couldn’t tell if you were a stan now or just horny. You wanted him on your wall… or inside you. 

So maybe that was the real reason you were okay with lying to your boss, but it was much more touching to say it was to please your friends. 

-🖊️⇝

You enter the function excited to see the guys. Mingi too, but you were trying to seem less eager about that. You find the two youngest members first talking to a group of unfamiliar people. You try to sneak past, intending to say hi when there weren’t people to be introduced to. But alas, they saw you and you met a few idols their age. Then you run into Soobin coming out of the bathroom. “You made it!” His excited smile was ten times cuter when he was tipsy. He pulls you into a big tight hug and it’s so unlike him. He seemed to have an aversion to touching anyone when it wasn’t necessary. Drunk Soobin was unbearably adorable and it took everything in you to not stay with him and pinch his cheeks. But you needed to find the other members.

The club Mingi rented out is not ideal for finding friends. There are two floors and this is your third time walking down the stairs. You haven’t even seen the host himself yet. With his height, it shouldn’t be easy to miss him. As you walk past the large dance floor you become privy to the reason you haven’t found them. Your head naturally lowers, your eyes automatically avoiding the dancing bodies. It wasn’t your fault, your tendency to avoid large groups of people is written deep inside your DNA. It was time to stop beating around the bush, so you enter the group of dancing bodies. 

It felt like miles of grazing people despite trying your best to shrink into yourself. In the heart of the group were the three you were looking for. They were lost in the music and possibly a bit drunk. Yeonjun casts a glance to see who was approaching before wordlessly holding out his hand. You accept with exaggerated confidence, fake it ‘til you make it. It was easier than you thought to dance smack dab in the middle of the dance floor. Your focus had been locked on the tall man before you, your body on autopilot as it sways to the music. He guides you closer by your hand with undoubtedly genuine confidence sewn into his smirk. You find yourself naturally smiling, unable to shake the shyness that overcomes you. He was doing it again, but this time you took the bait and let yourself be reeled up to shore. Forced out of your comfort zone, but you couldn’t find it in you to complain.

“Who is that?” You hear a deep masculine voice say to your left. Your eyes stay glued to Yeonjun like you’re physically unable to look away, and you swear he’s having the same problem. But you eventually do. Mingi is still looking at Beomgyu until he answers, only then does he grace you with eye contact. The wind is pulled from your lungs as you gasp. You were too distracted by Yeonjun to fully bask in his glory.

“Well. Here he is in person.” Yeonjun fails to pull your attention away even when he rests his hand on your shoulder. “This is ___.”

Mingi makes a sound of understanding, nodding as he not so subtly rakes his eyes up and down your body. It takes everything in you not to shiver. He repeats your name with a small smile that makes your heart skip rope. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” He bows slightly before rising with his cheeks squinting his eyes. “I’m a rapper, my group is called ATEEZ.” 

I know, you’re tempted to say. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” You bow back, restraining the locs that fall over your eyes. 

“You’re… very beautiful.” His eyes fall again, taking their time coming back to your face before flashing a seductive smirk. You bite your lip, acute amounts of shame stirring with the arousal in your belly as the tension thickens in such a public space.

The members of TXT are long forgotten as you’re sat at the bar with the handsome Mingi. You talk for hours, though it’s mostly flirting and subtle invitations. As much as you can communicate with your limited Korean. You’re glad it’s gotten good enough that you can understand what he tells you next. According to Mingi, there are no restrictions in his company when it comes to doing… it. If they’re of age, they can do whoever they want to their heart’s content. As long as they’re not reckless. TXT has to plan in advance for your visits and they have three emergency escape or hide strategies just in case. That’s just for being seen with you.

There’s heat brewing between your legs. You’d be a huge liar if you said being around handsome men that you couldn’t think about touching wasn’t slightly torturous. Not even a little tipsy quicky you could pretend didn’t happen. No kissing. Hugging was even a stretch. Even if there’s a fuckload of chemistry, gotta ignore it. But this man, the same one you’ve been fantasizing about, can touch you in ways that has heat traveling throughout your entire body.

“What do you think?” He asks with a raise of his eyebrows. You agree in a way you hope doesn’t seem desperate, but in the end who cares? Not you when he leans closer, taking a moment to take in a quick breath before closing the distance. Butterflies swirl and thrash in your stomach as excitement takes over. It’s your fault the kiss escalates but you still can’t care about shame when your dreams are coming true. 

His tongue feels like heaven against yours, sinfully wet to the point where you can’t help thinking of it somewhere else. He inhales deeply through his nose and you can feel the ensuing groan in your spine.

A frantic voice pulls the two of you apart, someone talking about an emergency. He and Mingi share an exchange before Mingi looks back at you. He sighs disappointedly. “Ah, I’m sorry. Maybe next time.” He winks before being whisked away, vanishing like he did every morning when your sweet dreams slip between your fingers.

You and Yeonjun don’t see each other for the rest of the party, you stay at the bar to sulk. Yeonjun was buzzing after the brief dance you shared. Your hand was so soft, and the way you looked at him… he’d never seen that from you before. If no one had taken your attention he doesn’t know what might’ve happened. He shakes the thought away as if it were a physical intrusion. 

When you kept asking about Mingi before the party, Yeonjun thought nothing of it. You were basically clueless about the industry and he was happy to fill you in. But the way you looked at him, sure it wasn’t as loaded or intimate (or unprovocative) but you looked starstruck. It would sting a little if you didn’t become a fan from their music but from someone else’s.

Yeonjun’s body had become entirely tense, unable to dance in a carefree way after you took over his mind. There was a whole lot of conflict going on in his brain but not a lot of solutions. What does it matter? It’s not like you’re gonna stop being friends with them. You’ve given their home life a level of excitement and joy that it hasn’t reached before, and they didn’t have to train for months to receive it. All Yeonjun had to do was kick back, look over with a smile to see that you’re smiling back. 

The next time you see each other is outside the club next to their van. “Hey, you disappeared.” Yeonjun shoves his hands in his pockets before nudging you with his elbow. You glance up at him, but it’s like your neck’s made of rubber. Drunk like him, but way worse at concealing it. Soobin explains that he found you by the bar and decided to help get you home. 

In the backseat between Yeonjun and Taehyun, you’re restless. You keep whining and fidgeting until Taehyun asks you what’s wrong. “I’m just frustrated.”

Confused by this progression, Yeonjun turns toward you with a curious frown. “Did something happen with Mingi?”

“He had to leave.” You whimper before letting your head fall on Yeonjun’s shoulder. When you lift your face to look at him you’re way too close for it not to be a problem. He’s hesitant, but Yeonjun allows his face to linger in this dangerous proximity. “I’m still a little worked up.” Your eyes flit down to his lips and he gasps lightly. He casts a quick glance at his members. Taehyun was looking down into his lap, brows tight. The other members seem to be minding their own business. Getting the idea before he even looks back at you, Yeonjun’s heart flips.

When he turns his head again you scoot closer. The lights of the city whiz past, shadows obscuring your features before painting them in vibrant hues. Each aspect of your face that he tried not to think about lay before him in a way so breathtaking he can’t think straight. He usually stops himself by now out of fear that he’ll become obsessed with you. Then he feels the tip of your nose brush against his, signaling how close he is to breaching an important rule. Just then, the van passes through a tunnel, cloaking the entire vehicle in a dimmer light. His heart stills, time stills as the drowsy look wipes off your face. You pull back a bit to flash him a genuine look. As if you’re also considering this.

Yeonjun is closing in just as the van leaves the tunnel, moving fast but not fast enough.

“Hey, break it up!” A bright light is flashed in both your faces. Yeonjun squints and blocks the light, unable to pull away from you because it feels like snuffing out this flame will leave him stranded in the tundra. But Soobin sounded frantic, and he’d hate to stress out his friend and leader. So he pulls away and he’s right. It’s frigid and cold.

“What happened?” Kai sits up from his chair and glances at Soobin before peering at the back seat.

Soobin sighs, clearly hesitant to report this. “He almost kissed her.”

Their reactions vary from shocked to worried to a little frustrated. “That’s like… the biggest thing, hyung.” Soobin pleads for Yeonjun’s understanding with his eyes. Yeonjun nips at his top lip, unable to curb his embarrassment and disappointment. “I know, I know.” He sends a hand through his hair frustratedly.

You sit stiffly between the two men as Taehyun gears up to say something. All this for a kiss? One you were admittedly excited for. Still, you don’t have it in you to get angry at them. Like Yeonjun said. They worked hard for this. It’s silly to risk it all over a kiss. Even if that label makes your heart sink.

“You guys know I won’t say anything. I’m already risking getting fired over driving you here.” The driver pipes up as he casts a quick glance at the rearview mirror. 

“It’s not about that, we can’t slip up.” Taehyun finally speaks, eyes cutting at Yeonjun. “At all.”

“I said I know.” Yeonjun speaks with more conviction that raises the tension considerably. Everyone else in the car can feel it. You send nervous glances to the other three who seem to be doing the same. “It’s fine! We’ve all been drinking, so.” Kai tries, his nervous smile flickering out when he looks back. Taehyun has his jaw clenched as he stares out the window and Yeonjun is clearly pissed off.

“Exactly, let’s just drop it. Nothing happened anyway.” Soobin adds authoritatively, looking back at the two who don’t return his glance.

Everyone does as much, leaving the car unbearably quiet. When you arrive at your apartment you say quiet goodbyes to everyone including Jun who gives you a cautious and almost apologetic look. “I’ll come with you.” Soobin grunts as he stands from his seat. 

Yeonjun watches helplessly as you both exit the car and Soobin walks you to the door. He would’ve offered before the car even stopped. But this isn’t only about him. A scandal could harm the entire group.

-🖊️⇝

Five months. You haven’t been laid in five months. Then here comes this 6ft-something man with puppy dog tendencies who turns on the sex appeal like it’s nothing, stirring up your emotions to this degree. 

You tie half of your locs up before tugging two down to frame your face. You bite your lip as you take in your appearance, a little shocked at how good everything came out. “What do you think? Should I add anything else?”

Things have been a little stiffer between you and Yeonjun. You still hang out but you both can feel it looming. The chemistry. The tension. The threat of jumping each other’s bones at a moment’s notice. Yeonjun doesn’t want to drag his members down because of a rash decision. He’s not sure what’s going through your mind but he can see the conflict in your eyes.

Yeonjun considers helping you. Immediately he’d recommend a choker. It’s hard for him to quell the thoughts about how good your neck looks with a piece of fabric wrapped tightly around it. Then he would suggest going for gloss instead of lipstick, but perhaps he should stop thinking about your neck and lips while he’s ahead. Also, this is all to help Mingi. Valentine’s day has passed, but it’s a miracle if an idol is free then anyway. This is essentially their valentine’s day plans, it’s a thought that presents a lingering bitter taste in his mouth. But he knows better, so he keeps those thoughts to himself.

“Yeah, it looks good like that.” He says as plainly as he can. Like a friend should.

You turn in your chair and rest your arm on the back. He looks really tired today. You can tell it’s one of those weeks that are really beating down on him. This is the most severe you’ve seen it get with your own eyes.

“You’re usually good at helping me with my looks.” It’s true that you’re cautious as well, but if he could have one moment to not be worried about one hundred things at once, you really want it to be with you. 

“You did pretty well on your own.” His shrug does nothing to shield how disingenuous he’s being. You give him a knowing look, deciding to probe just a little. 

“You know you can take a nap on my bed while I’m gone.”

“I’m good.” He assures with a smile meant to be soft but ends up strained. “Text me if you need anything or if something goes wrong.”

No, no. That’s the last thing you need. Him needing to have his guard up around you and still being so courteous. “I have other friends that I can text. You go play video games or relax or something.”

“Oh yeah? Name someone that isn’t an idol, quickly.” His tense demeanor melts just for a second, just to poke back. You give a short, dry laugh. Knowing very well you didn’t have an answer. Non-idol friends would do you some good. You think for a moment before replying half-jokingly.

“How about I call your leader instead and tell him to come take you home.”

Yeonjun stands from the bed, walking over with a look that you recognize by now. He’s thinking about it again. Kissing you or touching you. “I wanna be here when you get back.” He’s not sure why. You’re not gonna be drinking and Mingi is a gentleman, he’ll make sure you get home safe. 

You’re acutely aware you must be looking at him the same way, which means you’re both in danger of breaking the biggest rule. He’s tired and probably unbelievably frustrated. And he wants it so bad. You can practically smell the arousal when you two get like this. Hell, you want it too. Sleeping with someone who’s been stifled for years and is finally able to let loose? The sex would be unforgettable. The thought permeates in your mind, strong enough to overshadow your habit of pushing all this to the wayside. You stand from the chair.

“Why? I’ll be alright.” You blink, unaware of how cute you look peering through your lashes. Despite his notes, you did do a great job. Fuck a choker or lip gloss, if you showed up to a date looking like this, he’d lose all ability to function.

“You look so beautiful.” He breathes out, but how genuine he is shines through. This was more intimate than the dance or the almost kiss. HIs eyes have a slight sheen as they gaze down at you earnestly.

“That means a lot, Jun. Thank you.”

Yeonjun, instead of responding, takes your shirt strap that had fallen down your shoulder in between his fingers. He slowly moves it back up, hand brushing lightly against your soft skin. You’re cold to the touch, your body being chilled by your air conditioner. How long would it be until you were properly warmed up? Too long.

“I don’t think I can handle you looking like this for someone else.” The words roll off his tongue, feeling as though someone else had said them. He looks over at your eyes from your strap, the touched shock on your face confirming that it was real. It happens quickly, the rationalization. You shut up the part of your brain urging you to run away from the conflict and tug Yeonjun closer by his shirt. His hands move to your face and the two of you linger there, either giving this a second thought or wondering if this was really happening. You lean in, feeling his breath fanning only to jerk back suddenly. Your lips brush against each other first before they finally meld, finally connecting in the way you both truly craved.

He’s so expressive, you can feel the longing, hear the pent up frustration leaving him with every heavy sigh. You chase each other’s lips instantly after each disconnect as if the kiss is providing oxygen rather than inhibiting it. There was that heat again, warming his frigid body as you wrap your arms around him and urge him closer. 

He pulls away, the impish fox you know well looking so unfamiliar. His eyes pleading and blown out, his pretty lips pink and swollen. You impatiently pull him back in and you feel the same warmth he is. Except it’s burning you up. Both of you feel like you’re being swallowed by a large flame as your tongues circle each other. He lets out a wanton moan that has your core clenching. “Taste so good.” His voice is nearly inaudible, murmured between kisses.

Pushing your straps down your arms, he undoes his recent action. He pushes your dress over your breasts but he’s too consumed by the kiss to look down. His hands envelope the flesh held by your bra as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. Things are escalating quickly but you grow frustrated that he isn’t inside you already. You’ve both waited long enough.

“Fuck me, please.” You beg, eyebrows slanting as you let your pride go for just a moment. You reach down and tug at the waistband of his sweats, feeling a little justified as he returns your desperation with his eyes. With his hands kneading your breasts and your fingers clenching his pants you stare into each other’s eyes. No words exchanged but you each understand loud and clear that you need each other. Bad. As his face draws closer you try again. “Fuck me.” You whisper as he nuzzles your nose. 

You’re begging for it but Yeonjun can’t decide how he wants you first. He shuts his eyes and imagines your body bent in half, your as lifted into the air. Presented just for him. His cock throb and he squeezes your breast. Your ensuing moan almost pushes him to throw you onto the bed. But then he imagines the moonlight bleeding through the curtains and painting your body. The lights of the cars that speed past illuminating your umber tinted nipples that perk up nice and hardened for him.

The fantasy draws more and more saliva onto his tongue that rolls off onto yours. Your tongues tangle in a horny mess. If anyone saw what the two of you were doing they’d probably be confused, but both of your faces are scorching and the spaces between your legs are throbbing. Yeonjun is on his tenth fantasy on how he wants to pose you when he starts whimpering. You grab his crotch and return the squeeze he’s been giving your breasts. He finally unlatches from your lips to toss his head back, letting out the loudest moan of the evening. You kiss down his throat, feeling the vibrations of his pretty sounds. It’s taking every atom inside your body to not bite and suck, instead you ghost your teeth over his supple skin. 

As his moans transition to groans and growls his actions become more rough. He grabs your wrist to keep your hand steady as he grinds into it. His nails pierce your breast and it’s your turn to whimper. He yanks your hand off of him and moves his own to your waist, finally guiding you over to the bed. In every fleeting fantasy he had there was one thing either missing or integral. The very look on your face you have now as he’s moving over you. Your dark eyes are so doe-like yet so sinful. They yearn for him, yet dare him. 

The taking off of your clothes is agonizingly slow. It doesn’t matter that you’re both rushing to the point that you almost rip each other’s shirts. It’s still torturous. His long cock bobs as he repositions himself, a drop of precum dribbling from his tip and shining in the light. His nails dig into you yet again as your legs are hoisted on either side of your head. Every time he grips so forcefully you wish he’d do it harder, squeeze you until you fuse together.

You get as close as you can to that wish when his tip cards between your lips. You jolt, surprised by your own sensitivity. Yes, it’s been a long time, but it’s not that. Your clit and lips are so swollen that they ache. You feel like your molten juice will pour out of you at any moment. You hold your legs in place as Yeonjun lowers onto his forearms, bringing his face closer to yours. You’ve already stuck your tongue down his throat and gripped his cock, but there’s something strangely intimate about his bangs brushing against your forehead. He watches you intently as he slowly pushes in. You gasp, as if the heat radiating off his cock is actually singing you as he slides in. 

Yeonjun releases his lip from his teeth as a deep groan forces its way out from the depths of his core. Your pussy swallows him whole, so devastatingly wet that it coats your outer lips and coaxes him in with ease. The urge to crack a window, shove the comforter and sheets off the bed, anything to quell the overwhelming heat is a fleeting thought for the both of you. It’s quickly replaced by the gnawing need to feel every part of each other. To get deep. Yeonjun arches his back and pushes his hips in until you’re yelping and your hips buck uncontrollably.

Then something snaps and a rhythm takes over Yeonjun’s body. His hips snap toward yours at the perfect pace that has you clawing down his back. You feel his skin under your fingernails. 

Your hips desperately chase after him, fingers fumbling over your achy clit. It’s a blurred frenzy that neither of you can completely process as real. Your brains are turned off anyway, blindly chasing pleasure and that orgasm so sweet your teeth go numb at the thought.

The height of the pleasure makes each pump of his cock maddening. It’s so good you both almost want it to stop. The pleasure spikes higher, making your moans peak in pitch. Your grip falters on your thighs as your legs start to quake. 

“I can’t– I can’t!” Your mumbles are nearly incoherent between your shrieky whimpers. A knot squeezes so tight in your lower belly it feels like a large, heavy ball. Yeonjun grits out moans as his eyebrows furrow. The pleading look is so sexy, the desperation in his voice. His fucking cock is inside you. It’s so deep inside you.

“C-cumming!” Your thighs slip from your hands as a violent tremor sweeps through your body. The knot snaps and you feel hot liquid spewing from your cunt. Yeonjun fucks through the pressure, sharp profanities shoot off his tongue. He claws at your thighs and his thrusts transition to slow and punishing. The myriad of noises flooding from your lips don’t lower in intensity. The pleasure barely plateaus and you’re right back in the trenches. 

“Fuck! Yeonjun, fuck!” You squeal. His hand crawls up from between your breasts to your throat. “You’re taking it so well, you’re perfect.” His voice cracks, the sincerity in his voice sending shivers down your spine. 

“You’re so, so perfect.” His body drops closer to yours, his voice tickling against your ear. His thrusts pick up with his fractured moans. You can tell just how much is being released as he fucks you. It’s just as magical as you imagined, watching him let loose like this. But the twitch in his brow bothers you. His muscles are tight, his shoulders tense. You let out a serene sigh.

“Let it all out, Junnie.” You run your hands over his shoulders, feeling his muscles loosen under your fingers. His eyes flutter shut, mimicking your serene sigh. He doesn’t get to rest for long. The conflict wracking his body this time is different. His cock is twitching inside you.

Your clumsy hands travel all over his shoulders, neck, and land on his face. His hips start to fracture from their rhythm and his face occasionally pinches. You caress him, wanting to bottle up the version of him that’s close to cumming. 

You press a tender, wet kiss to his lips. “Cum inside me.”

It doesn’t occur to you that he has no clue you’re on birth control. So when the most guttural moan erupts from his chest it catches you off guard. His hips grind down against yours, his cock throbbing as it pumps you even fuller. Your sweaty bodies stay like that for a moment, not long enough for your sensitivity to wane. He pulls out, unplugging your hole for all the fluids to flow out.

His cock is heavy against your clit, so heavy that it triggers your sensitivity. You close your legs around him and turn your head into your pillow. He flows you, planting a long kiss on your lips as he grinds his cock into your mound. 

“Jun,” you tap at the mattress, the excruciating pleasure taking you to another planet. 

“I love your pussy.” He finally pulls away and the rigidity of your body eases. You let out a shaky breath, eyeing him as moves down your body. He glances up at you with his mouth hovering over your tired pussy. “It’s mine.” His eyes flutter shut as he kisses your mound wetly. A sharp moan rockets out of you. Your head shoots backward and your thighs threaten to close around him. That was just the teaser.

His tongue delves in to scoop out his and your essence. You’re in awe of the dirtiness of his actions and the lengths he’s willing to push you. All while staring you right in the eyes. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull as you push at his head.

He hums before lifting away. “You want me to stop?”

“N-no!” You reply instantly, a laugh bubbling out of both of you. It was ridiculous at this point. Yeonjun curls his tongue inside of you until he’s satisfied with how clean he got you. He lifts up, giving only a glimpse of his sullied face before he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 

He crawls back up and you groan. 

“No, we’re both gross, don't lay back down.”

He grumbles ‘give me an hour’, making you both laugh. It’s comforting, a crackling fire lulling you both to sleep.

You gasp loudly, shooting upright.

“Mingi!”

-🖊️⇝

If only you hadn’t done that. The vibes after the sex were immaculate. Now things are tense again as Yeonjun gets you ready to meet with Mingi. His hands run over your sudsy body, making sure you’re squeaky clean. He helps you with your bra, even helps you pick out a new outfit. When all is said and done, you’re back to looking at each other through the mirror. He sighs.

“Go ahead and text him you’re ready.”

You pull your phone out, finding you’re just flipping it over in your hands instead of unlocking it. You chew on your lip, your heart beating so intensely it’s debilitating. 

“I’m ready.” You rush out, thinking for a moment before turning to actually look at him. Yeonjun breathes a laugh with a smirk.

“I said tell him, not me.”

“Why? You’re my date.” Your smile beams brighter than you mean it to. It’s all fine because he returns its luminosity. 

“I’m down for that. I’m too fatigued to go anywhere, though.”

“I know, I really tuckered you out didn’t I?” You cock an eyebrow at him, doing your best impression of a sly fox you know.

“Okay, but who made who squirt?”

You shove him, making him chuckle as he catches himself. You quickly leave the bedroom, turning to shout back at him. 

“I’m watching the movie without you.”

He chases after you and you just barely evade him to sit on the cough first. He dives next to you, snuggling up close and nuzzling his forehead into yours. It’s something he used to do to annoy you, and though you’re tonguing your cheek, your heart is fluttering. 

You watch the rest of the movie hugging his arm with your head on his shoulder. As the credits roll, is the first to talk in thirty minutes.

“It was always gonna be us.” Yeonjun chuckles. “We both knew it from the moment in your hotel room. Fuck it, I might’ve thought about it when I first saw you.”

You crane your head to look at him, his sharp eyes already on you. There’s a softness to them.

Multiple fists thundering against your door makes you both jump. 

“Open up! Yeonjun has been here for way too long!” Identifying Soobin’s voice dulls the alarm bells blaring in both your heads.

Yeonjun trudges over to let them in, sulking back to the couch as the four younger book it past him. Beomgyu launches himself on the couch and asks what “we’re” watching. Kai is close behind, snatching the remote before Beomgyu could even think to grab it. They argue over that as Soobin sits down, rubbing his temples. He sinks into the couch as you sit beside him. You can feel Yeonjun’s warmth on your left and you bite your lip trying to ignore it. 

“And just what were you doing here all alone?” Soobin’s eyes slowly pan over to the two people sitting suspiciously close to each other. You both shrug, mumbling something about movies and ice cream.

Taehyun sighs, squeezing his ass in between the both of you until you’re forced to part. You just roll your eyes, ignoring it for now. The movie watching experience with these five was always chaotic. Chaotic enough that you and Yeonjun could sneak glances at each other with no one noticing. The noise dissipates as you get lost in each other’s eyes. You both smile.

[chelseachilly]

serenity

pairing: reader x ben chilwell a/n: just a quick little fic bc i needed to write something after ben's photo dump yesterday lol, and to get the writing juices flowing after way too long! i have a much longer fic that's almost done which i can't wait to share with you all soon 🤍 warnings: none, just fluff! word count: 1k

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benchilwell via stories

yourusername via stories

You’re not sure if you’ve ever been so content as you are right now.

You’ve always loved summer holidays, but never more than since you started dating Ben. He’s so busy throughout the year that you often get very little time together, so when the season ends, you’re more than ready for some uninterrupted relaxation with your boyfriend. 

You know it’s bittersweet this year, as you were both hoping that Ben would make the Euros squad after a somewhat disappointing season and more injuries. You truly believe he deserved to be there, but you’ve decided there’s no point in dwelling on what could’ve been. So despite the letdown of Ben missing out on another major tournament, you’ve both made the most of your holiday so far.

After he went to the F1 in Monaco with the boys, you met up with him and a few of his mates in the Caribbean for the week. You’re all staying at a gorgeous private villa that took your breath away when you first saw it. It’s now your last night here before Ben flies to Marrakech for some time with his family and you have to go back to London for work, which you’re absolutely dreading after the most perfect week with him. 

You’re currently curled up with Ben on a lounge chair, just the two of you alone on the gorgeous terrace with an infinity pool overlooking the ocean. The sun is setting, and you’ve never felt more at peace. 

“I don’t wanna leave this place,” you sigh, burying your face in his neck. 

After a long day of swimming and snorkelling off the boat provided by the villa, you’re both tired and enjoying the tranquility of this moment. The rest of your group is inside watching the day’s Euros highlights, and you know Ben would’ve done the same and ended up lost in his own bad thoughts if you let him. Instead, you grabbed him by the hand after dinner and dragged him out here, receiving no complaints from him as you laid down almost completely on top of him with your legs intertwined and your arm around his waist.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Ben counters, and you know what argument he’s going to make. “Come with me to Morocco. Alex and my mum would love it if you came.”

“Babe, you know I would if I could,” you tell him sincerely. “But I can’t take any more time off right now. I’m sorry.”

Ben already knows this, so he doesn’t argue you further, though you know he wants to. He just tugs you slightly closer to him and drops a kiss to the crown of your head. 

“Promise you’ll call me every day, though? I want to live vicariously through you while I’m back to the boring office life,” you murmur, your cheek pressed to his chest. 

What you really mean is that you want to check in on him every day, to make sure he’s not going down the rabbit hole of regret and self-loathing like he has in the past. You hate that you can’t be there with him in person for the entire summer break, but you’ll be damned if you don’t do everything in your power to make sure he’s okay, even from afar. 

“I will,” Ben agrees, slipping his hand under the t-shirt of his that you’re wearing and gently rubbing the skin of your lower back. “You don’t have to worry about me, baby.”

You know he can see it in your furrowed brow when someone talks about football and your overly clingy behaviour this week that you’re concerned about him.

“I love you too much to not worry, Ben,” you say, a slight shiver running up your spine as he continues to caress your skin. 

“I know,” Ben says with another kiss to your head. “And that’s why I’m the luckiest man alive. But I swear I’m okay. It was a bit tough to take at first, but I can’t really complain when I’m in paradise with my best mates and my girl.”

“I’m glad you’ve had a good holiday, you deserve it,” you smile. “What was your favourite bit?”

“Hmm…convincing Tom we saw a shark while we were swimming today was up there,” he chuckles, making you laugh as remember the sheer look of terror on your friend’s face. “I think he might’ve pissed himself.”

“I think he’s still mad at us,” you laugh. “Worth it, though.”

“But mostly just being here with you,” Ben says softly, running a hand through your hair as you pull back and rest your head on his chest to look at him properly. “I love you so much, Y/N.”

You cup his face with one hand, running your thumb across the beard he’s grown out a bit and staring into his eyes. There’s a stunning view of the sun setting over the shimmering blue sea just to your right, but you think you prefer this one. 

“I love you, too.”

Ben smiles before leaning in and kissing you, your lips meeting gently. It’s a slow, drawn-out kiss, neither of you wanting this moment to end. 

“We should go inside and pack,” you mutter when you pull away, painfully aware of your early flight tomorrow. 

“In a few minutes,” Ben says, wrapping his arms around you completely and pulling you back into his chest. “Let’s enjoy this a little while longer.”

You allow yourself to relax into his embrace, humming in contentment as he continues to stroke your hair. 

Your real life and responsibilities may be awaiting you back in London, but for tonight, you’re going to soak up every last second of this serenity with your boyfriend.

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, masonmount and others yourusername Perfect week, missing this place (and this boy) already 🤍🌴 view all comments benchilwell Love you ❤️ sophiaaemelia looks like paradise! miss you 🫶🏼

benchilwell

liked by yourusername, madders and others benchilwell Serenity. view all comments yourusername 😍🥰❤️ masonmount Love it mate!

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a/n: please let me know if you liked this, all comments/feedback appreciated 😊

[dekusleftsock]

SOOOOO…. EVERYONES TALKING ABOUT HOW TOGA SHOULD HAVE A THIRD OPTION IN THIS SCENARIO THAT ISNT IMPRISONMENT OR DEATH…

SO LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE POSSIBLE OUTCOME OF “SUPERVISED BY UA STAFF” WHERE SHE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH THE REST OF CLASS 1-A

I really thought that this was being a tad unrealistic, even when I first started thinking about it. But with toga refusing to be imprisoned and taking death in Ochakos arms as a sacrifice, I can’t help but wonder that if (when, lets be honest here this is another fake out lol) toga does survive in some miracle, probably through hawks, what IS an ending in which she isn’t imprisoned? Where is that?

UA BABY! Aoyama was imprisoned there when he was found out to be the spy, toga has REPEATEDLY been in the UA school uniform in tonsssss of official art! Which I talked about a certain specific official art here which was the biggest hint imo that it’s where toga would end up belonging. Will that make parents of UA students angry? The civilians? OTHER UA students, especially non heroics students? Absolutely it will. But that’s the thing, they’re going to be angry but change needs to happen. If toga was under INTENSE supervision and especially Ochako’s supervision then… I think it could work.

Toga and ochako are together, dekus looking away bc he no longer has that much importance to their story, and Aizawa is oddly close. Not yet aware of the situation or what may be in store for him in the future.

But he is their teacher, he is their guide. It’s his job to protect and, most importantly, accept them.

I MEAN, GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE THEYRE IN THE UA DORMS AND ITS ALL IN BLACK, YELLOW, PINK, AND GREEN LIKE THATS LITERALLY JUST OCHAKO, TOGA, AIZAWA, AND DEKU

Plus I’d also probably laugh my ass off at toga play flirting with deku and him getting pissy over it. Or her harassing bakugou and earning an explosion to the face. Her having girls nights with tsu, Ochako, and jirou. Calling out jirou on her crush, bonding with vlad over having blood related quirks, bonding with mina over who likes who in the class, SHE WOULD JUST FIT SO WELL THERE IN MY MIND OKAY. I’ve thought about it a little too much for something that hasn’t really happened.

If I don’t get my final few domestic chapters with toga and the rest of the girls or toga and bakugou/izuku together like. I need it. I ESPECIALLY need her to call out Izuku for being gay for bakugou. I need it.

Maybe I’m asking for too much but. I really want toga to get her happy ending. One where she’s accepted and supported and around people her age! Having FUN with people her age! The LOV will always be part of her past, may even haunt her future career endeavors, and that fucking sucks. But I want 1-A as a unit to be a space for her. I want her to be able to say that she’s proud to have been part of the league, but she’s also proud to be here. Both are parts of her.

She’s just a tired general course student who doesn’t wanna deal with the press ever LMAO

Ochako always makes sure no one bullies/assholes harasses her and makes sure she knows her smile is beautiful and perfect and the cutest in the whole world every day BC ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES.

[jonnnysuh]

Dating S Coups would include

A/N: HIIII Happy new year !!! Long time no see. I wanted to write one of these for so long but it just wasn’t working out…. And then my brain came up with this out of no where. I’m not sure how well this is gonna do bc it’s been a while ((also no one has ever requested s coups??? So I’m really doing this for no reason LMAO)) I’m ngl i kinda popped off on this one. also fun lil treat at the end <3

Series Masterlist

Crushing stages:

This is a friends to lovers type of man!!! I cannot stress this enough

You meet each other when you’re kids and one day he looks at you and it just clicks

At first you refuse to believe there’s something between you two bc you’ve known him for so long

But there’s something about the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, how he always makes sure to be on the “dangerous” side of the sidewalk for you, how he is the one thing in your life that feels stable and warm and right

One day he’s like “fuck it” and goes for it bc there is no feeling in the world as definite as his love for you

Dating:

Bc you’ve been friends for actual eternity he knows you so well

It goes beyond just remembering all the foods you do and don’t like (which he does know) … HE CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE LYING

Also bc of this, he’s the first person you go to for advice

You know he’ll be honest and fair and help you come up with the right decision bc he just… knows you

Sends u drunk texts bc he cannot stop thinking about u ever

100000% compared hands with you when you were just friends LMAO AND STARTED INTERLOCKING FINGERSJSJDKSK

He does not get tired of listening to the story of when you realized you had feelings for him

Will do things for you even if he’s tired out of his mind as long as it makes u happy

If u needed a glass of water in the middle of the night there is no question about,, he’s getting up from bed to make sure you have it

“Text me when u get home” 🫡

Brings up embarrassing childhood stories about you

But don’t worry you also got some dirt on him so he won’t be hehe-ing for too long

NOOO I FEEL LIKE HE’D ENJOY MAKING LEGO FLOWERS WITH YOU (or any sort of thing where you guys can sit in comfortable silence,, as long as you’re together type thing)

IT’S A YEARLY TRADITION

Is not afraid to tell you his opinion

And won’t always agree with u

Sometimes he wont say it tho, you can just tell by his face…. But also guess what Cheol ur not the boss 🤬🤬🤬

Loves late night drives !!! Eeeee imagine listening to music in the car with him and singing your lil hearts out

One hand on the wheel one hand on you

Having a Spotify blend of ur guys’ favourite songs 😭😭 and they’re always in rotation 😭😭😭 Imma cry rn

He said “I love you” first. Tbh he always knew he was going to be the one bc he can’t help it, it’s so easy with you

Cuddles after a long day

“C’mere” in his tired voice FJOSFIOWJXJKWNS!!!

Spoonfeeds you bites of his meals

Your parents really really like him ((he’s so charming I fear there was no choice))

Sends u cute lil update pics

YOU GOT THIS FULL GROWN MAN SENDING YOU KISSY FACES

Nah he for sure has an album in his phone called “us <3” or some shit with just pics of YOU GUYS AHHHHHH

For some reason I feel like he’d like the sound of his SO’s voice

Is your voice of reason when u wanna make a dumb decision … but will that stop u from being dumb sometimes??? I think not

Lowkey…. Blows u kisses…. No one else is allowed to see tho ok shh

Your whole house smells like him after he visits bc his cologne is STRONG

Often times when you’re cuddling in bed he’ll be looking over your shoulder so u guys watch TikToks/videos together

Soooooo supportive! He’s so proud of you!!

Competitive asshole

It can be the most mundane thing ever but he has to win or even just tease you about it

Voluntarily gives you his sweaters and shirts

Lifts you up a bit when you guys hug

Long-term bets ((just cause y’all know you’ll be together for a longgggg time))

Calling each other by your childhood nicknames

He gets excited when you guys talk about the future he literally cannot wait to spend his entire life with you

Taps on his cheek for a kiss jfodjdjkdnd

Plays with your hair so gently that it causes you to fall asleep

“How are you, my baby?”

HE HAS TO ADD “MY” BC YOU ARE HIS BABY

Protective. If he thinks someone’s gonna mess with you he’ll step in at the exact right time

Lowkey gets jealous,, he needs that reassurance sometimes

NAHHHH imagine saying “make me” to this man …. That’s all I’m gonna say

Bites u (lovingly)

Loves going grocery shopping with you and taking an extra long time in the snack aisle

Has the urge to sing cheesy love songs around you bc you make him feel like those songs!!!

If you do something cute he’ll blush

Messing with him is so much fun bc theres literally endless ways to go about it

You have the privilege to push his buttons

Either one of you bringing up childish shit like “REMEMBER WHEN WE PLAYED FREEZE TAG AND YOU DIDNT UNFREEZE ME??”

If you start showing him things on FaceTime he’ll give you his full attention like he’s in the room with you

Gets pouty when he wants a kiss and you’re not giving it to him

NAH if you get sulky coups it’s over with you’ve already lost … the man is getting what he wants

play wrestles with u

The way he looks at you there is honestly no denying that he is so in love with you

The one person in the world who knows everything about you

Loves a good deep talk but fair warning: he will get emotional about it

All I’m saying is s coups is a certified lover boy methinks

BONUS:

[pansy-picnics]

Sorry but your recent artwork has me thinking about parent Varigo and I have to dump my thoughts somewhere. I feel like, if they actually had a kid it would be really emotional for them but in different ways. Varian finds out he’s pregnant and is a little scared at first, but he actually adjusts to the idea pretty fast and is excited about it, because he’s in a good place now and has a good support system. He doesn’t have to worry about his family judging him, he knows they’ll still see him for who he is. Hugo on the other hand is terrified. But not because he doesn’t wanna be a dad, he’s pretty excited about that, he’s just really scared that Varian is going to get sick from the pregnancy, or that the whole experience is gonna be too much for him. He feels like this is just another thing he’s “putting Varian through” because he’s still not quite over the guilt of his betrayal years ago, and now it’s coming back to haunt him. They work it out of course and Hugo realizes that it’s gonna be okay and that he also can depend on Varian’s family for support because they’re his family too. Now I’m emotional. Anyway I love your art <3

AUGHHHH YEAH YEAH THIS IS SO REAL!!!!! i love plots like that fr, their characters are so fun to explore😭😭😭 Honestly? i think in the right circumstances hugo could be a deadbeat dad. like he could just straight up leave bc he’s paranoid varian or the kid would get hurt or he’d put them in danger or something. he’s the kind of guy who’s always Running! like i could think of scenarios where he’d run away on their wedding day too. those are both horrible extremes SORRY FOR THE ANGST I JUST THINK IT’S NEAT.

i think hugo’s always WANTED a family but its something she’s always viewed as unachievable, mostly bc of the shitty living situation hes been in for most of his life. she could barely survive on her own and she’d never want to drag someone else into that yk? and she’s still scared of that commitment even after she moves into the castle, bc what if she DID have a kid and then something happened and she couldn’t take care of them anymore, or she ends up on the streets again….and what if she just ends up abandoning them? what if she’s no better than the parents she never even knew? it’s like, obviously she wouldn’t do any of those things or be in those situations but she has….a Lot of anxiety around it for sure. but i also think that she tries to adopt literally every orphan she and varian see. she LOVES kids as much as she pretends she doesn’t and its very obvious….she just hasn’t really had the privilege to be able to think about it until now.

varian…i think he goes either way, he doesn’t really plan to have kids but he’ll kinda learn to adjust to whatever, he’s also just a very family oriented guy so he’s definitely not opposed to that kind of role. in my head they usually adopt bc i think varian like, Hates anything related to the human body at all so even disregarding the gender dysphoria pregnancy is SO gross to him. idk why i just think he’s silly like that. hell make bombs and poisonous chemicals but he remembers people have organs and he wants to throw up. i’m not opposed to the idea of them having biological kids at all though…especially considering all the art i’ve already drawn for it’s us against the world LOL. personally i think even if he weren’t opposed to the idea he’d be miserable the entire time, and not even like in a serious way necessarily he’s just REALLY mad that he can’t work in the lab anymore. he’s pissed about EVERYTHING, actually. he’s bored and he’s tired and he can’t work and he feels like shit and he doesn’t really have any other hobbies either. his whole life and routine has been completely fucked over for nine months and SURE he loves the kid and he’s excited but like why does it need to be in there that long. why can’t it just come from the stork or something. 🙄/j

i think he might pick a few fights with hugo bc of it, just because he’s so overwhelmed and emotional and doesn’t know how to handle it, but hugo’s really understanding; also they’ll honestly take any kind of treatment from him because they’re like, “Yeah i probably deserved that”. which varian does NOT like btw and always gets on his ass later to stick up for himself more while also in tears apologizing for yelling at him

idk i just think them as parents would be Sooo silly. neither of them have any clue what they’re doing. dude if those two had a baby? Dude can you imagine? varian’s sooo fucking sheltered i think he’s only interacted with like, 2 babies in his entire life. quirin stays with them for tje first few weeks bc varian literally just has NO clue what he’s doing and is crying to him all the time. and hugo like, has an idea of what to do but he’s also SUPER paranoid. they’re both just staring at the kid while they sleep not so much out of adoration but because they’re just terrified they’ll stop breathing at any moment. you cant convince me that either of them know how to change a diaper. They’re gonna bring out like full lab gear. like the gag where the dads will pull out full hazmat suits for the diaper change. That’s them idc

ruddiger is also SO protective of their kids from the moment they’re born, like he jumps up into the crib and snuggles up with them and they always IMMEDIATELY stop crying. olivia is the opposite. she’s kinda like a toddler who just got a new sibling she didn’t want. shes pissed that she isn’t getting hugo’s full attention and keeps being a brat about it. hugo’s just trying to calm down his baby and olivias glaring at him while she’s about to push a glass off the table

yeah idk i. have a lot of thoughts abt them too they’re so beloved to me

[mooodyblue]

Heyyy I haven’t been on here in so long but I literally stalk your acc bc I love love love your writing and you were always so nice to me. Anywho! I was wondering if I could request a fluff piece w/ big daddy Elvis? I have endometriosis and I was wondering if you could write something where the reader is really struggling during her period and Elvis takes care of her. Thank youuu 💗

thank you! ❤️ i wasn't fully aware of what that all entailed, so i tried to do my research. hope this is okay!! thank you for the request <3

pairing: 70s!elvis x afab!reader

wc: 711

-> masterlist

there's always a specific time during every month that you dread more than anything, and it's the forever–non–ending week of your period. everyone's periods were different, some dealt with pain, some didn't. you, on the other hand, were met with the most god, awful crippling pain every single month. 

elvis knew how badly you struggled with your period, he always tried to give you all the comfort he could even if you tried to brush it off. when you first got together, it wasn’t something he fully understood. he knew what periods were, of course. but yours was much more different. 

he wanted to take you out to the memphian today since a few movies had come out that he wanted to see, maybe bring a few of the guys along with him. the sight of you crippled up in bed made him change his plans immediately and he wasted no time cancel. today would be all about you and your comfort instead.

“baby?” he said softly, shuffling over to the bed and crouching to meet with you eye leveled. you tangled up in the comforter, curled up with a tired look on your face said enough. “that time of the month?” 

a soft mhm left your lips, your own arms wrapped securely around your stomach. 

“poor thing.” he muttered, bringing his hand up to brush the hair out of your face. “y’wanna jus’ stay in bed all day?” another mhm came from you in response. “not a problem at all, honey. y’need anything?” 

talking was so tiring in the moment, you didn't even want to move. “‘just you.” you mumbled. 

he chuckled, pressing his lips against your forehead. “i know, i know. you’ll get me in just a minute, baby. im gonna get ya a few things ‘n i’ll come back up here alright?” you whined in response, clutching at your stomach at the shooting, throbbing pain. he frowned, “oh, baby. alright. i’m gonna hurry.” he kissed you one last time before standing back up and heading downstairs.

elvis reached the bottom of the steps, eyes scanning around graceland as he mentally wrote himself a list of things to bring upstairs. he had pads upstairs, the good ones. he had the money, he wasn’t going to buy you cheap anything. oh, but duh, a heating pad. he grabbed one out of a cabinet before heading to the kitchen, rummaging through for snacks or anything that may make you feel better.

“you need something?” he heard from behind him, meeting eyes with mary. 

“oh, uh….well…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “it’s that time of the month for—”

“i’ll bring ‘em some tea and some food.” she smiled, patting his back. “what they need right now is a massage and your presence, i’ll take care of things around here.”

elvis let out a sigh of relief, “appreciate ya. don’t wanna do the wrong thing.”

“trust me, you won’t.” 

he headed back upstairs with a hot water bottle and a heating pad, walking into his bedroom where you were still huddled up in bed. “alright, darlin’. mary’s comin’ up with some tea, i’ve got a whole lotta heat and this water bottle is about ready to burn my hands off.” 

you sat up with a groan, wiping at your eyes as you pouted at him, “elvis–”

“i brought a heating pad too. y’think double the heat might work on those cramps?” he asked, ignoring you. “i have extra pads in the bathroom, if you need more—i’ll have someone make a run ‘n get you some. y’need painkillers? i got the strong—”

“elvis.”

he looked over at you, raising his eyebrows like he did something wrong. 

with a hot water bottle ready to be against your back and a heating pad on your lower stomach, you pouted at him. “you didn’t need to do all of this….”

“but, i did. i want you to be comfortable, baby. i hate that y’all gotta go through that every month.” he frowned. “is there something else i can get you? just say the word ‘n i’ll go get it.”

you thought for a moment, “well….you did forget one thing…”

“oh!” he got ready to head out the bedroom again, “what is it?”

“you.”

[j2zara]

for the ask game!! 📚 💭 👖

Sorry these took all day i've been out and Tired as hell but thank u!

📚 Do you read your own fic?

I try to not feel embarrassed that the answer is yeah bc like I think if other ppl reread their own work it would make sense!!!! Like I would not judge at all and honestly co-sign rereading ur own shit. I literally tell ppl that the reason I write is bc like. It’s basically the chance to craft your own perfectly tailored special interest to share with others. So like. Why wouldn’t I like it? (And this was especially true when I was trying to write original stuff which is why it’s so frustrating I never finish anything. But also a little true now too. This whole weird cloneverse was the product of my dumb thought experiment “what if the clones were people who had the capacity to be just as tragic as Jace). It’s got everything I like in it. I try to tell myself anyway. In practice it’s like. Argh.I kinda go through periods where I like. And this is usually after I JUST posted. Wanna do other things but end up distracting myself by rereading the thing I just made over and over. And then I forget it exists and often in my mind it’s like. Oh I don’t wanna read that i think bc I have residual feelings of like. Idk embarrassment I guess? Like I convince myself it’s old and probably bad but sometimes when I’m glancing at old things I write for. Refresher purposes (usually on cloneverse lol) I end up getting suckered back into rereading it like oh hey is this actually. Good?

Anything older I mostly haven’t looked at in a while bc idk. I’m very hard on my old self. I did reread my Reddie sky high au thing and went. Hm this is actually fun I like this. Most of my IT stuff is like. Ok I think? This is kinda related but I JUST got a comment on a talent swap I wrote for DR and I literally haven’t updated the thing since 2018 and I feel so bad for abandoning it but. Part of it is bc I think if I were to come back to it I would wanna redo some of the old chapters and I feel so pained looking at the early chapters. I keep telling myself I’ll get to it. My Mukuro and Hiro proxy sibling agenda deserves it, they deserve to be best friends so bad, I’m sad I abandoned them. 

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

This is such a funny question bc I’m such a goddamn blabbermouth so I feel pretty confident that I’ve already posted so much cringe abt the headcanons for cloneverse. Like. Technically J3’s personality started as a headcanon in that i was like “oh, Porter was flirting with J3 the entire time he was falling in love with J2”. 99% of the time if i feel compelled to say it i will just say it? Actually you know what? I just thought of one that might be kinda schmaltzy and i feel bad for not saying its a 100% certainty but in my heart Ankarna grants all the clones some form of true life but it would probably be some fucked genie deal where its like there’s a reincarnation au or something. Like they have to find each other again or something. Very Hadestown Orphydice anybody got a match coded. Genuinely b/c J4 wishes she was never Of Jace she gets what she wants and its like good/bad. Bc i can never stop putting the clones in the torment nexus I don’t know if that’s completely stupid

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

I try so hard to be a planner bc I’m so frustrated by my pantser process. Like. Idk i tend to just ride momentum but without foresight you end up going in directions that can be kinda formless and completely wrong and idk. I have such hard time finishing things b/c of this i think. But when I try to plan I’m also so bad at it i don’t think I’ve ever finished a real and true outline before I start. I want to be the kind of person that has clean outlines but. Idk. So by default I guess I’m a plantser bc I do have docs full of notes but my notes are always super messy and like. Idk what I’m doing evolves so much while I work that half the time the notes end up not even accurate to what I’m aiming for. Worst of both worlds life

[dreamsclock]

THE ULTIMATE DREAMSCLOCK UPDATE!

hello. hi. as most of u are probably very unsurprised to hear, i have bit off WAY more than i can chew in terms of personal projects. this is now something i am beginning to belatedly realize is A Problem for many reasons. mainly a) i am chronically overwhelmed esp with the biggest exams of my LIFE next months and b) i can’t take on any more projects realistically that i want to begin.

poll + more info under readmore bc i have chronic can’t-shut-up syndrome (adhd)

SO. in order to actually produce content for you guys i am Cutting Back Which Fics I Work On. at least until july. this SHOULD allow me to finish at least some fics and hopefully move on in the summer to other ones, but since im indecisive i thought i’d let YOU guys decide which fics i continue to work on!!! so here’s a poll.

the top five will continue to be worked on, and i plan to finish checkmate + hold him close in the next week anyway. so vote for your next five faves, and from there i’ll figure out which ones i’m gonna continue

this SHOULD help me make a good dent in these fics while also working on stuff that makes people happy :]

IN ADDITION TO THIS. i am also only streaming three times a week. ‘only?’ you might be thinking. ‘sparrow dreamsclock, you don’t even stream ONCE a week!’ to which i say Be Quiet. kidding but i’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself to try and stream every night and then beating myself up when i’m too tired 😭 so hopefully limiting myself to three times a week helps!!

STREAM DAYS: Monday, Wednesday, Saturday

I could stream more than this!! But at the very least you’re promised three streams a week unless something goes horribly wrong.

AO3 UPDATES: Wednesday, Sunday

AGAIN this is to try and give you guys some kind of consistency 😭😭 i know im very erratic + unreliable when it comes to uploading so i wanted to try and provide a schedule. no idea WHAT updates these will be, but you know Something will be posted there which is awesome

YOUTUBE UPLOADS: Beginning May

‘but sparrow!’ you may be saying. ‘you just said the most important exams of your life happen in may!’ to which i say Be Quiet. Yes. I Know. I’m An Idiot. but i wanna start providing youtube content Too!!! whether this be dsmp analysis or stream highlights or original minecraft choose-your-own-ending games i’ve made, i’ll be uploading (hopefully consistently) beginning may!!!! more info to come. unless i forget of course.

ANYWAY. if you’ve sat through all of this then HELLO HI!!!!! sorry. this announcement sounds self important and dumb but honestly even writing this out has eased like a load of my anxieties. ever since the end of 2021 i’ve been so overwhelmed with the frankly dumb amount of projects ive given myself, and it’s most of the reason ive been burned out since then too :’) thank u for being understanding and thank u for being such a source of inspiration for me and thank u thank u THANK U for being the best people ever muah ily

this starts from TODAY Btw!!! will be uploading a chapter of checkmate tonight and also streaming which i’m looking forward to. we’re gonna Chill until summer and then i can go crazy with projects again. but this feels more manageable!!!!

tune in for my stream tonight at 9pm (fnaf time FUCK YEAH) and thank u again :]

[ssreeder]

waaaAAAHHHH sreedie I’m so fucking pumped for this chapter you have no IDEA

jee out here crushing rasu’s hopes and dreams like the perfect grumpy uncle he is <3

rasu is the emotional fallout catcher and I love him for that

wheezing that katara’s most pressing concern when seeing zuko for the first time is THIS BITCH HAS HAIR??

zuko please why is your fight or flight response fucked up enough to become fight or insult the person trying to help you.

oh shit wait does zuko think katara is sokka???

yeah zuko definitely thinks she’s sokka lmao it’s giving major head injury

ugh NO just let sokka see zuko I hate it here

BUT ALSO!!! big win that iroh can tell the boys that zhao is dead at some point (it better be sooner rather than later, right sreedie??)

AT LEAST AZULA ISNT IN BA SING SE it’s the little victories lads, the itsy bitsy ones

also can sokka PLEASE tell SOMEBODY about the bending suppressants I’m like super concerned about that

aaaaaang not the yue bomb T-T

dude. the fact that aang has suffered so much loss- I can’t anymore

BATO T-T not zuko’s “glowing personality”

god I love chang he takes No shit whatsoever

I’m sorry but bato saying ara “had some issues” is such an understatement, why does this man have such a comedic thought process. he really said I do not want to touch This with a 10ft pole

LMAO pls it would be so funny if bato did end up kissing chang (especially if it’s accidental)

loving bato in his damage control era

CHANG “now that things are awkward I’m gonna go” T-T my guy said TOODLES

ah yes, return of the penis fingers trauma from the good old days <3

HES AWAKE and immediately making innuendoes

trust that jet decides to expose sokka while on his deathbed I shouldn’t have expected any less from him

AZULA

I love mai <33333333

sreedie WHO has been leaving you negative comments and WHERE can I find them (not bc I wanna defend you or anything haha not like I still care about you even though we’re divorced haha I HATE you actually)

anyways I’ve been ROBBED???!?!? wHere was my zukka reunion >:(((

sreedie it better be soon bc I’m losing my whole mind… but yes very very vibrating-out-of-my-seat about the potential of a zuko and chang reunion too :3 (if you kill chang I will throw a rock through your window and smash all your lightbulbs)

LOVE HATE YOU HEAPS <3

LEEEEEKKKKIIIIIEEEEE

the time has come I release your ask into the void and am no longer able to stare at it and giggle when I see all your silly but so satisfying words. (I’m sorry this one is so much later than the rest my life is enjoying kicking me around and I’m too tired to fight back)

Ok sooo…. I love/hate you let’s DO THIS!

I feel like Zukos hair was more important than his redemption arc so yes it must be acknowledged by everyone almost immediately haha.

I hate it here too leekie let’s move fuck the ending of this fic let’s do a new one

I think I just heard leekie is a Chang/bato shipper but it’s a trouple because lyns there so it’s a real party whoop whoop!

Zukka reunion is coming, its just probably…. Not….. next……. Chaoter………. Sorrrrrryyyy but SOON

I swear soon

Love ya

[unknwnxquantity]

Thursday was one of those days that shows you life could be over in an instant without even knowing it, that an initial inconvenience could’ve actually saved your life. I have an old car. Old ass car more than 20 years old. Love her, we named her Beatrice bc she’s beat, white and old. It’s a long story how we got her but it was a gift to us!Shoutout my gfs dad :) Anyways we were under the impression it was good for the most part. She shakes, she started making loud ass sounds recently. The brakes are a bit wonky but we were under the impression they had just been changed months ago before we got it. And then the check engine light pops up out of nowhere yesterday during a really inconvenient time. I was so annoyed at that. Was already having a bad and stressful morning. Driving to and from a place towns away and the traffic is HORRIBLE in the mornings. Just tryna come back to where I’m at, takes at least over an hr or even an hr and 30 min at times, when without traffic it’s a 30-40 min drive. I was like plssss god just get us to our destination safe and let me get home safe and sound.

I get home safe and sound. Get to work right after. Then my gf asks me if I wanna go take the car to her best friends bf who’s a mechanic to get the engine light checked out and also the sounds Beatrice has been making. I’m like ughhhhhh bro I been working back to back these days with barely any breaks in between I’m so tired. But I do it anyways after my second shift ends at 5. I drive to him IN TRAFFIC ON THE HIGHWAY yet again and I’m like these brakessss, are wonkyyy. They feel different some days and I gotta be on my toes no pun intended 🤪. Sometimes Beatrice feels safe to drive, other times I gotta be more cautious bc it’ll feel different. It takes me almost 30 min to get to him. I never hung out with him one on one, and only really met him once. It was just me and him in the auto shop he works at. Such a masculine environment😭😭 I don’t know SHIT about cars I’m just a girl just tryna get by man.

I bring up to him like heyyyy I’ve noticed the brakes feel a little weird. It scares me at times— It makes me think of the incident with my sisters first car years back. Similar car just different model, same yt hoopty vibe. She named hers Steve and spent $500 on it like my gfs dad did. But after a while of driving her cars brakes gave out out of nowhere while she was nearby where she lives. She thought she was legit gonna die and called her bf (who I set her up with) to help calm her down and if worst case, he’d be the last one to talk to her and know what happened. He tells her what to do (I forgot, I think just keep driving around the block til it eventually stops). And in my head these past few weeks i think of that. Especially since two weeks ago, where i witnessed a car in the other lane lose control of their car and directly collide with a car right behind me. That could’ve been me if i was a few seconds behind—Anyways I tell him I feel weird with the brakes and he’s like okay lemme take a look at it. He takes a couple test drives too to see what else could be wrong with the car. Well apparently our brakes were so bad, the brake pads were worn down to the literal core even tho me and my gf were under the impression that the brakes were replaced months ago. No padding whatsoever, that her friends bf, I’ll call him F, said it would’ve given out any day, he didn’t even trust me driving back home. He replaces them bc he just so happened to have the parts I needed, and just doing the most being so sweet. He’s just a caring golden retriever white man who goes above and beyond for those he loves since my gf and the friend have been friends for over a decade.

During the 2 hours I was there with him😭 me and him talked about random shit. He’s the type of guy to talk about anything and everything. But one of the convos we talked about was how ppl aren’t usually grateful for life, and miss out on potential connections bc they’re caught up in their own worlds. That he’s seen real life poverty and ppl dying in front of him and how traveling opens up a world of new perspectives. I eat convos like this UP. He told me about how he the other day helped this middle aged lady at a store bc she had mad shit in her hand and dropped something. He automatically picks it up for her without hesitating. But that kindness and consideration led him to having a 15 minute conversation with her and it brightened his day a bit having that. And then I mention even in the most mundane or boring situations, like waiting in line at a store, can be an opportunity to be grateful for life. An opportunity to say something to the person in front of you. Or to observe your surroundings. It was nice having that and having someone understand that. He’s also so passionate about cars and know his shit. It was so fucking refreshing to see the passion ooze the way it did when he talks about cars and the mechanics of it all. That jobs like his are safe bc we’ll always need human mechanics and the services they provide and that gives him relief to keep doing what he loves without anxiety one day his job could be taken from him.

I don’t want to make this entry too long even tho it already is. But yeah just random stuff. He really hooked us up and didn’t charge us for the labor of the things he did. Like he filled my car up with oil bc apparently I HAD NO OIL EITHER!!! He showed me how to pop the hood and just other little things he said he’ll help us with at a really considerate price. As I was about to leave and put in the gps, he recommends I go a specific route bc it’s a straight shot to the highway and easier than going the way I was gonna go. I go that way, and my gps just sends me down a somewhat scenic route. No highways. And then I somehow drive down the street of *knock on wood* my next job. Which that also just fell into my lap. A customer (who’s also gay so it’s always good energy when I see her) at my one job was looking for me one day, came in and was like hey…. Are you maybe looking for a new job? And I’m like YES PLEASE and gives me her number. I send her my resume. Coaches me on what to speak on in the interview. Apparently she’s a director in the specific program. It would be an environment where I feel I could make a difference and she’s like “listen I know I don’t know you well but I feel you might have a knack for this… sometimes you just need someone to connect you to where you need to go” so knock on wood again things go good and I hear back for next steps.

If you follow my entries, you’ll pick up that I think and talk about passing/d3ath a lot. In a lot of different ways and forms. Even tho I’ll be like ahahahah I don’t wanna be here🤪🤪🤪, I do. Like imagine I didn’t go to F when I did, what if I’m like no I just want to go home after work. But my gf thought to reach out to him all bc the engine light randomly came up (what if she didn’t think to ask him?) We would’ve never put two and two together about the brakes being so bad that they could give out any day on us (and apparently the reason why the engine light came on is a super quick fix). What if he wasn’t available that night? Then what could’ve happened the following days? A lot. I really am protected. And I really am grateful for life. The butterfly effect is crazy and sometimes ppl are faced with super unfortunate instances where life is put in their face and they realize how delicate and fragile things are. How delicate and fragile we all are. That’s why I knock on wood and thank god the universe my angels everyoneee for all the good things in my life and how “easy” I have it in comparison to millions (actually could be billions) of other people around the world.

[renytherat]

Yeah I’ve loved writing since I was a kid and did it off and on. I started to before the pandemic hit (but 2020 was a bad year for everyone) I tried again in 2022 but kinda stopped after it sounded repetitive.

So this time I’m gonna try not to sound too repetitive, allow my creativity to flow more, and pick a time of day that works best for me, (usually evening time before bed if I don’t feel tired) but morning or during the day works too.

(And I actually have a problem of hoarding notebooks 😅 in the past I’d just leave them blank but I’m really trying to fill them up now) in January I’m gonna start doing a 30 day challenge.

(And Yesss I have! My absolute favorite brand is Midori out of Japan because their quality is amazing, and their journals come in different sizes and different paper) also pentalic from Amazon, they’re black hard covers and I just got one that’s 4 inches and so cute 🙌🏻)

oh yeah 2020 sucked lol. i got into kpop around the end of 2019 so i had some type of new hobby to keep me above water for a while thank goodness. thats when i actually started writing myself. most of my life i just daydreamt and read, but i never thought i could write. here on tumblr tho i found a community and i started letting the creativity flow as you said. best decision ive ever made (even if i havent written an actual story in months bc of writers block)

but 2024 i wanna try more journalling than writing. really explore my day to day and how i go abt things with proof this time lol. maybe ill actually remember what i did that year as well :))

(i have a hoard too omg. i need to sort thru them but theres so many half-filled ones idk what to do anymore 🥲)

ooh im gonna look that brand up bc ive been getting cheap ones from like michaels or target. the elastic band that holds them closed always breaks and it makes me so mad. i did just get barnes and noble gift cards tho 👀

what challenge are you doing?

[imtheworst-imsorry]

I’m gonna write my new year’s resolutions here to hold myself accountable:

Shower at least every other day, wash hair once or twice a week

Only smoke weed if I don’t have work the next day

Put away my laundry once it’s done, not when i need to put the dirty stuff in the hamper to take it to the washing machine

Get up earlier and take Henry out earlier

Talk less/unmask less/just be less annoying/stop being myself

Look for and switch to a new therapist

Take less naps during the day, if I don’t sleep at night then I just have to be exhausted

I realize point 5 is literally the exact opposite of everyone on the planet’s advice that they give everyone, but it’s pretty clear to me that I’m the problem every time someone gets upset, so I need to just stop being myself. It’ll be better for everyone else if I just try to be a completely different person. And the putting away my laundry and not smoking weed if I have work the next day shit can start tomorrow bc I’m too tired to fold all my shit and I wanna get high before I have to deal with 8 hours of standing up and getting yelled at and working with new coworkers who I don’t know very well and who are very new and therefore very slow. I know work tomorrow (today at this point) is going to suck and I’ll probably end up at the register most of the day even though I can do production a lot faster than two newbies, but I’m the dispensable one so it doesn’t matter if I always draw the short straw because I’m no more than a warm body.

[wherethehellisderrymaine]

NOVEMBER WRAP UP

BOOKS: shingeki - vol. 31 al 34 - end daisy jones and the six  tokyo revengers - vol 9 al 29 -- queda el ultimo volumen el año que viene nos sale bien pedir perdon antonieta

MUSIC: i wonder - russell dickerson  box in the heart - the maine those days - nickleback  la culpa - marc segui  hood - trueno y tiago  emotional - ashe i’m a mess - avril lavigne and yngbld session vol 50 - duki santeria - sublime blind - role model  el kuelge caramelos - alan trezz remember summer days - night tempo  again - yui 

EVENTS:

1: anxious, bad mood, tired  ate “too much” and felt guilty 

2: HATE i hate myself bc i am bloated and i look fat i hate not being able to use t-shirts when it is hot bc man comment on my body and i feel weak, scared and disgusting

3: still feel like shit i hate being so emotionally unstable when i feel ugly that i have toxic thoughts and i get all jealous for no reason. i hate thinking that i am not good for my boyfriend i hate thinking getting angry when he mentions his girl friends from work. i hate that place and i hate most of the staff and i hate not being able to stop this feelings. it’s not his nor their fault, but i don’t like them and i don’t like when he tells me about them or goes out with them. i am the fucking worst I JUST HATE MY MESSED UP BRAIN 

lucho had an anxiety episode and i felt useless bc i never know what to do or what to say. he doesn’t need positive comments and he never really tells me what’s going on, so i don’t do anything and i end up feeling even worse for not being supportive.

04: still feel crappy and kinda depressed i feel like i wanna cry but i don’t get to do it. i keep all bottled up i don’t want to talk to anyone, i’m in a very dark and depressive mood and so is everone around me so i don’t let it out. i hate being a burden.

05: anxiety, but less class in the morning coffee before film - met up with lucho -- watched THE MENU went back to la baticueva , hjad lunch and sex (still feel ugly and fat but i’m trying to convince myself that i can be desired even though i’m not skinny) went to el auditorium to watch argentina, 1985, with lucho and my parents. it was lovely, my parents really liked the movie and got to leave the house for a bit. went back home with lucho, drank a wine, had some snacks and burgers from la hamburguesería, i fucking love that place - watched tokio revangers 

07: pain and bloated - still no period tired, fell asleep and we ended up not going to the cinema had sex - i dominated him, i fucking love doing that. i took my time to do what i wanted, slowly to tease him. i could die touching him

08: saw mica in lucho’s neighborhood - she lives nearby with her boyfriend. i was nice bumping into her  did the groceries with lucho and went back home mom and dad are sad and worried for Foni’s situation at usa.  i feel bloated and ugly - i just want to feel pretty and sexy again

09: lucho made me an amazing dinner

10: lovely birthday felt loved, a little tired but i had fun 

11: neck, back and head pain  bloated, fat, anxious, sad  couldn’t buy sabinas’ tickets :(

12: date night at bruder’s with my lovie

13: put up the shelves in lucho’s bedroom last night at the film festival went to see “bones and all”

15: bought lots of plants with lucho lucho decorated the shelves and the baticueva i had a class with vicky and then went to lucho’s - he’d been out with his friends but he also fetched me when i was wailking to his house and gave me lots of hugs. i adore this man with my entire soul

16: lucho bought fairy lights for his house and i’m in LOVE

22 - 27: it’s been a great long weekend but when i went back home, Lili was ill. She has cancer and she’s going to die pretty soon. I don’t feel like writing too much about it. I just want to cry and I don’t want her to suffer. I see her uncomfortable, all bloated up, not wanting to eat. There is not much we can do but wait and lov eher until the end. She isn’t “just a dog”, she is my baby and I don’t want her to leave us. 

28: cena en lo de lucho con Ro y Martin. lo pasamos re lindo. Me caen super bien los dos y les deseo lo mejor en baires 29:me desperte re descompuesta. estoy triste, quiero estar con lucho todo el diay no tener que tomar orales.  eating less and felt pretty but i have to be careful

30: partido de argentina, lo vimos en el cem. ganaron 

[missmeinyourbones]

haikyuu boys as icks

because my favorite thing is humbling men and fictional men are no exception | aot version & jjk version

atsumu:

does that thing where he "forgets to know your name" so he doesn't look obsessed with you, but in reality he just looks like a douchebag LOL he's comes up to you all nonchalant like "y/n, right?" as if he doesn't follow you on ig and like all of ur pics....and he thinks it makes him look so cool and popular and mysterious and then u look him dead in the eye and ur like "yeah, you're osamu, right?" he's humbled very quickly

osamu:

when he’s really tired or clingy, he talks in a baby voice :/ sometimes even refers to himself in the third person :/ just typing this rn is making me frown with disappointment. like yeah atsumu may be the more dramatic twin, but thats only bc he’s shameless in public. behind closed doors, osamu is right there w/ him. you find him pouting on the couch after a long day like “osamu wants cuddles >:(” or “can we make dinner together i’m hungwy >:(” big offender of the “sowwy” and “pwease” agenda. arrest him

suna:

is the embodiment of that one trend where you tell guys they look like they can’t swim and they get so unnecessarily defensive about it LOL. you say he “gives off a vibe that he can’t swim that well” and hes DISTRAUGHT...immediately whipping out all of his cards to prove you wrong like “obviously i can swim, wtf let’s go find a public pool rn and i’ll show you how good i can swim” also gets you back in such a ruthless way like “okay, but i can. and you look like you don’t know how to read.” feelings end up hurt on both ends :/

hinata:

whenever you guys go to the store, he holds up the line because he’s like “oh, i have a coupon for that!!! :)” but it's never convenient at all. it could be for the most minuscule or absurd products too, like toilet paper or ballpoint pens, and he’s digging through his wallet once you guys reach the register. like baby AREN’T YOU A PRO ATHLETE???? i think you can afford the extra $1.42 for granola bars. you bring up the idea of him having the coupon ready before he gets in line and he’s like “idk i don't wanna hold it for that long 🥱”

kageyama:

LEAVES HIS BEARD HAIR IN THE SINK AFTER SHAVING. oh my god, i am making myself angry rn. you rinse it out every single time and when you ask him if he knows what happens to all of his little trimmings, he’s just like “idk....i guess they just evaporate or slide down over time” when you literally clean up after him like a maid :I he makes me sick (inspired by that one tiktok of the oblivious husband and knowing wife)

bokuto:

doesnt understand politics so he just labels himself as “non-political” which comes across as him just being douchey :/ it makes him look so ignorant when he first tells you :/ like a man who thinks he’s too good to be socially and politically aware bc it doesn't affect him / when in reality, politics just really isn't his forte academically and he’s never learned the basics of it :/ because he is really smart ok i stand by this!!!! he’s a scholar and a college grad...he just only focuses on his areas of interest. take a gov course baby expand ur horizons

akaashi:

if you ask him those silly hypothetical relationship questions (the ones where you just want him to say something sweet, something that proves he loves you) he is not having it in the slightest. you ask him “would you still love me if i was a worm?” and he’s deadly serious like “no? one, that's not even possible. two, if i’m ever attracted to a worm then i need to be constrained and arrested. three, i think that’s really wrong for you to expect me to seamlessly deal with that big of a transition in our relationship--” and you have to be like OH MY GODDD OKAYYYYY IT WAS A TEST!!!  AND YOU FAILED!!!

kuroo:

millennial core LOLLLLLLL im sorry. he posts a pic of him after he gets his hair cut and captions it “just did a thing! :P” EWWWW my toes are curling rn. he takes his selfies from the highest mom facebook angle and does the signature middle aged white man smirk. if he ever films a video of himself it’s so cringy bc he does the millennial zoom in and talks as if he’s a movie protagonist. attends a single work meeting and claims he’s “adulting 😂” at the ripe age of 27

oikawa:

when he really likes you, he does that thing where he's like "you're just not like other girls/people!!!! you're so different!!!!!!" you do basic human things like don't constantly wear makeup or eat whatever you please and he's like "i love how you can be so real around me, you're so quirky <3" you shave your legs or do your hair and he’s like “baby you don’t have to do all of this for me!!!!” he’s never touched a woman in his life. self unaware king 

iwaizumi: 

swears that period cramps are not that bad and that people who get periods over-exaggerate to make men (or people who don’t get periods in general) feel guilty about not dealing with them. believes with his entire chest that “getting kicked in the balls” is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. one day you jokingly buy one of those period cramp simulator machines and hook him up to it. he's all “i’m gonna be fine babe” and “it probably just feels like a stomach ache”.... he doesnt get past the 3rd setting and is holding back tears when you finally turn it off 

[evansbby]

I also have a hard time imagining any of his characters being subs. I have seen people write those kinds of fics well, but when I see most of his characters I see very dominant men, in all different ranges of that aspect.

Now I might see Ari or Jake being soft doms and for amusement being like.

“Baby do you want to be in charge? Tell Daddy what to do?” A little role reversal for the day.

Still it doesn’t go very far and you just end up riding his dick while holding hands and he gently tells you how amazing and beautiful you are and to take as many orgasms as you want.

The CONDESCENSION dripping from “Baby, do you want to be in charge? Tell Daddy what to do?” is just 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Like imagine Ari saying that to you after you decide that hey! Maybe you wanna be in charge for once!

*smutty thots, daddy!kink, dumbification below*

And Ari knows this won’t go very far bc 1) you’re a pillow princess — you don’t like doing the work on top bc you tire easily and you prefer it when he does all the work. And 2) how will you be in charge when it only takes 0.02 seconds of him fucking you before you go completely dumb?

But Ari humours you, bc it’s cute and amusing to see you be in charge. He lets you handcuff his wrists to the bedpost and after you tease him for a while, you eventually start riding him. But his big dick feels so good inside you, and it’s so deep, but you need more… you can feel yourself slipping into your sub space…

And the fact that Ari is still so calm and collected? He’s all like “sweet girl, why’d you slow down? Aren’t you enjoying being in charge of daddy?” (Your hips have slowed down bc you’re tired and there’s too many sensations and right about now you need your big strong daddy to grab your hips and move them for you like he usually does when you’re in top)

But you can’t say any of this bc you’re quickly going dumb, specially with him rocking his hips up teasingly once in a while and grinding into you, knowing that it’ll make you go dumber as you chase your pleasure. All you can say is “daddy, please”

And Ari is so smug, “What happened to my baby who wanted to be a big girl, huh? What happened to being in charge? Why are you begging your daddy already?” (He stops his hips completely) “Look at you, so dumb on daddy’s dick, can’t even speak properly. This is what happens when babies like you try to act like they know better.”

And then he casually just jerks his wrists and the handcuffs break and he flips you over and then he literally fucks you so hard into the mattress, you eventually do pass out — dumbed out from multiple orgasms and in your rightful place underneath him.

Okay this completely deviated from what you wrote, anon, and I’m sorry sjdhsjkska