#I hate it here leekie let’s leave

[ssreeder]

waaaAAAHHHH sreedie I’m so fucking pumped for this chapter you have no IDEA

jee out here crushing rasu’s hopes and dreams like the perfect grumpy uncle he is <3

rasu is the emotional fallout catcher and I love him for that

wheezing that katara’s most pressing concern when seeing zuko for the first time is THIS BITCH HAS HAIR??

zuko please why is your fight or flight response fucked up enough to become fight or insult the person trying to help you.

oh shit wait does zuko think katara is sokka???

yeah zuko definitely thinks she’s sokka lmao it’s giving major head injury

ugh NO just let sokka see zuko I hate it here

BUT ALSO!!! big win that iroh can tell the boys that zhao is dead at some point (it better be sooner rather than later, right sreedie??)

AT LEAST AZULA ISNT IN BA SING SE it’s the little victories lads, the itsy bitsy ones

also can sokka PLEASE tell SOMEBODY about the bending suppressants I’m like super concerned about that

aaaaaang not the yue bomb T-T

dude. the fact that aang has suffered so much loss- I can’t anymore

BATO T-T not zuko’s “glowing personality”

god I love chang he takes No shit whatsoever

I’m sorry but bato saying ara “had some issues” is such an understatement, why does this man have such a comedic thought process. he really said I do not want to touch This with a 10ft pole

LMAO pls it would be so funny if bato did end up kissing chang (especially if it’s accidental)

loving bato in his damage control era

CHANG “now that things are awkward I’m gonna go” T-T my guy said TOODLES

ah yes, return of the penis fingers trauma from the good old days <3

HES AWAKE and immediately making innuendoes

trust that jet decides to expose sokka while on his deathbed I shouldn’t have expected any less from him

AZULA

I love mai <33333333

sreedie WHO has been leaving you negative comments and WHERE can I find them (not bc I wanna defend you or anything haha not like I still care about you even though we’re divorced haha I HATE you actually)

anyways I’ve been ROBBED???!?!? wHere was my zukka reunion >:(((

sreedie it better be soon bc I’m losing my whole mind… but yes very very vibrating-out-of-my-seat about the potential of a zuko and chang reunion too :3 (if you kill chang I will throw a rock through your window and smash all your lightbulbs)

LOVE HATE YOU HEAPS <3

LEEEEEKKKKIIIIIEEEEE

the time has come I release your ask into the void and am no longer able to stare at it and giggle when I see all your silly but so satisfying words. (I’m sorry this one is so much later than the rest my life is enjoying kicking me around and I’m too tired to fight back)

Ok sooo…. I love/hate you let’s DO THIS!

I feel like Zukos hair was more important than his redemption arc so yes it must be acknowledged by everyone almost immediately haha.

I hate it here too leekie let’s move fuck the ending of this fic let’s do a new one

I think I just heard leekie is a Chang/bato shipper but it’s a trouple because lyns there so it’s a real party whoop whoop!

Zukka reunion is coming, its just probably…. Not….. next……. Chaoter………. Sorrrrrryyyy but SOON

I swear soon

Love ya

[lingering-42-long]

I’ll be home for Christmas

Soap x f! reader

I don’t know what happened, but the original one either got accidentally deleted or I just never posted it! This is the first of the series. I’ll be home for Christmas. Enjoy

Warnings: none

John winced when he got the call from headquarters saying he would need to leave for duty on Tuesday, witch meant be on a flight to the shitty hell-hole of a place tomorrow. He hated being called at last moment. Being left out of the loop irked him to no end.

Soap looked over at the clock and noticed that his girlfriend would be home soon. She worked at a local pub by night in Sterling and her shift was nearing the end. Just as he was thinking about her his phone buzzed with a text. It was from (y/n). ‘Hey Johnny, I’ll be home in a bit on my way.’

John texted back ‘ok love. See you here.:)’ He noticed she called him Johnny not hunny or babe. She must be tired. He thought to himself as he got up to finish dinner. He hated having to leave her behind in such short notice.

The Cock-a-Leekie soup was almost finished when John heard keys outside jingle and the lock opening. (Y/n) came in on this chilly night.

“Brrrr. It’s cold out there” she shivered and hung her jacket on the peg by the door and was in the process of taking her wet shoes and socks off, when two arms snaked around her waist. “Aye mo leannan (yes my sweetheart). You’re cold aren’t ya?” His thick Scottish accent rolled off his tongue as he kissed her neck. A giggle could be heard from her lips “Already trying to flirt with me this late? “Lass if I was try’n to flirt with ya, I would’ve put more effort into it.” He gave a little nibble to her earlobe. (Y/n) smiled as she slipped on a pair of house slippers. “Something smells amazing. Are you making what I think your making?”

“Aye ghràdh (love).” Soap smiled as he dished out two plates.

“You really didn’t have to do that. It’s so late…” It was true. It was around 1:45am, but John didn’t matter. He knew he did not have much time with his Beloved. “No I don’t mind,” he smiled then his face dropped, “Also I got to tell you something.”

A frown formed on (y/n)’s face. “Let’s talk about it after dinner, ok?” John gave a quick nod and touched her cheek gently “tha gaol agam ort (I love you).”

A light blush formed over (y/n)’s face “I love you too”

Dinner was amazing and the two of them talked about (y/n)’s job and who was at the pub that night. John gave a slight snort when she was telling him about the idiot who kept flirting with her. “Did ye tell ‘em yur with meh?”

“Of course I did but you know how men are, he saw that as a challenge”

“Next time I’ll show him a real challenge” he huffed.

“No need. I took care of it quick.” She chuckled. “I got Bruce to start waiting on him.” The man Bruce, she was referring too, was a big hulking of a man and could scare anyone into submission if it came to one of his colleagues getting uneasy with a drunken idiot.

“Well at least he has been delt with.” John nodded. He was very happy that she could stand up in a fight. That’s one of the many things he loved about her.

“So…. What’s this bad news you have to dump on me?” (Y/n) asked already figuring it out but waiting for the confirmation.

“Lass I got called in for a mission… I know it’s bad timing.” So close to Christmas. It was both there favorite time of the year. It was going to be tough on them.

“Yeah really bad timing.” She bit her bottom lip trying not to let her tears fall. “I had made plans and everything too…oh well”

“Hey now mo aingeal milis (my sweet angel). Yer can still do those things, and the plan is to be home for Christmas… if all goes to plan tha’ is.” A simple touch to the shoulder almost sent (y/n) crying. She was a tough-ie but things that were very important to her still got to her. “I know…I just worry if you will be ok…if you will make it…”

“Aye Bonnie I promise ye I will com back home in one piece yeah?”

“Alive?” She asked

“Alive and well.” He chuckled. “Now go get ready fer bed. I’ll clean up and be there in a bit.”

She shook her head “I want to help…”

“Your tired. You’ve been working all night. Let me do this fer ya.”

“Fine.” (Y/n) trudged upstairs to their room and washroom were she took off her makeup and jewelry. She had worn the necklace and matching earrings that John had given her last year as an anniversary gift on Valentine’s Day.

She looked at herself in the mirror, tears still threatening to spill, a long night and now this? Pull yourself together girl. (Y/n) told herself but to no avail. When she made it to the bedroom to get changed for the evening, the thought of her boyfriend leaving her made the waterworks start as she burst out crying into her pillow, sobbing away. Perfect timing for Soap to walk in, catching sight of his overtired, crying girlfriend.

“Hey hey hey! What’s this Love?” Gently kneeling beside her side of the bed and placing a hand on her back.

“I’m sorry I must be tired, but the thought of you leaving for the holidays…” (Y/n)’s voice broke again as she tried to regain her composure.

“No don’t apologize, ghràdh (love). I wished I could have told you sooner.” He kissed her head gently. “I know this will be h’rd on both of us but we can work this out, yeah?” John got up and walked to his dresser to get on a pair of pants. He liked to sleep shirtless.

As soon as Soap opened the covers to get in, his girlfriend clung onto him. “Aye lass I got ye.” He chuckled and stroked her head. “I’ll wake ye up when I leave ok?” No reply just a nod into his chest. Softly, as if she would shatter in his arms, he hummed an old song and gently rubbed her back. This made (Y/n) break down and cry again. “I got ye let it out. Shhhhhh.” John murmured, now his own eyes betraying him as they stung with salty water threatening to hit his pillow and his girlfriend. He held (y/n) tightly, letting her cry to sleep, knowing that would be the best for her. Soon he was following in that pattern.

It was 6:30am when John began walking to the door with his sleepy girlfriend in tow, holding his arm. Soap opened the door, with his duffel bags in hand gave his (y/n) a kiss. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, you’ll see”

(y/n) nodded sadly. “Be safe out here ok? Kick there asses.”

He gave a small smile “I always do.”

John turned around to head for his car don’t turn back, dont fucking turn back. But he did and saw (y/n) standing there “fuck” he muttered a small choke. He dropped his bags and swiftly dashed back to her.

“Oh lass I am going to miss ye so so so much!” He was shaking. Trying to hold it in, trying to be the big tough Sargent he needed to be.

“It’s ok. You told me last night we got this, it’s not like we haven’t been in this same boat before. If we did it 100 times before we can do it one more time. I’ll be waiting here for you when you get back ok?” A smile laced with sadness stretched over (y/n)’s face.

He pulled himself up and nodded. She was right. With a final lasting kiss he went back to grab his bags once more and this time made it to the car without look back. Setting his stuff in the back seat, he then got into the front, starting the engine, and slowly driving out from the driveway. He could see her silhouette in the dim light coming from the living room as she stood outside watching him. Soap drove down the road towards the airport with one thought on his mind.

When I get back love, I’m going to ask you a question… I hope you say yes.

[jcyfulmess]

@storiescrafted​​ said :  ❛ You’re scared. I can tell. ❜ siobhan @ delphine!

         Car parked right in front of Mrs S.’ house, Delphine paused for a few minutes. Aldous just died, heart attack apparently, but she didn’t buy it. She came first after Dr Leekie, and Rachel was already ordering her to take care of new projects, taking responsibilities. All of that knowing that Cosima hated her. Each time they get closer, it seemed like Delphine was a step ahead of her on the betrayal half. Whatever the geek thought, she was only doing everything for her, even though she didn’t seem to understand it. 

Her hands finally leave the wheel, door slammed, car locked. Delphine made her way to the house, knocked a couple of times and the older lady showed up with a riffle in hand. Fair enough.     “ I have news, important news. ”     It felt difficult for the blonde to look trustful when it came to Sarah or her family, but Mrs S. seemed to have taken a liking in her, which she was grateful for. She let her in, awkwardly standing in the living-room, the mother’s eyes staring back directly at her and her heart made a loop. Delphine wanted to look confident, but she was afraid, a little panicked too. Her fingers tightened the handle of her purse.   

‘ you’re scared, i can tell.’     Mrs S’ voice was soft and maternal. It reminded her fo Delphine’s grandmother at the difference the accent wasn’t Londonian but clearly french. Her lips parted as she was about to say something, but those words felt like comfort. Someone finally was acknowledging her feelings, even though it was more directed towards Sarah.      “ I am, yes. Dyad is crumbling down. I need to speak to Sarah. Is Duncan still here ? ”

[cophinelovin]

A Holiday Meeting Part 2 Ch. 1

Hello all! After a long hiatus, I decided to write a sequel to a short fic I did back in December. Read the first part here first. Hope you enjoy! There will be two chapters.

Also on ff.net and AO3.

Cosima and Delphine have a “friends with benefits” situation, but how long can that really last?

---

Cosima groaned as her body went limp, becoming one with the bed underneath her. “Holy fucking shit, Dr. Cormier,” she breathed.

Delphine chuckled and rolled out of bed.

“Wait, where are you going?” Cosima asked.

“I have to go. It’s late. Otherwise I’m going to fall asleep here,” Delphine answered.

Would that really be the worst thing? Cosima thought. “So?” she vocalized.

Delphine pulled her tank top over her head, sighing slightly and rummaging around for her pants. She stopped for a moment to look at the brunette. “Cosima, I can’t,” she stated.

“Why not?” Cosima inquired, knowing full well she was asking a question she already knew the answer to.

Delphine buttoned her jeans and answered with a bit of exasperation in her voice, “Because that’s not part of this. We agreed on that. And you know that.”

Cosima did know that, rationally. She was very intelligent. But her emotions were starting to take her over, winning in this battle between reason and feeling.

“It’s just sleep,” Cosima replied, “You could stay this one time.” Her mind started spinning as soon as she spoke the words. I just want to be held. Is that so much to ask? I want to feel your warmth. I want to feel your presence. I’m pretty sure I’m falling so hard for you I’m never going to be able to catch myself.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Cosima,” Delphine responded curtly, leaving before Cosima could respond.

The brunette rolled over, bringing her knees to her chest. She could feel a hint of tears coming to her eyes but she couldn’t allow herself to cry. Not about this.

They had an arrangement. They’d had it since Delphine had shown up that first week of January. It was incredible, the night they had shared on Christmas Eve. Cosima wanted to keep that going. Delphine was amazing, the sex was amazing, the best she’d ever had, so when Delphine proposed they do the “friends with benefits” thing, she jumped on it. It was what she had thought she wanted at the beginning. Great sex with no strings attached. It was a dream situation.

Delphine would come over three or four times a week sometimes, and they would fuck until all hours of the night, their bodies moving together as one. It was like nothing Cosima had ever felt. But Delphine would always leave right after. There was no cuddling, no talking afterwards. That was part of their agreement. It couldn’t get too personal, too affectionate. Cosima was fine with that for a while. It felt really good. She had convinced herself that this was all she needed, that they could be friends and work together, while still honoring their arrangement. No drama. That was the point.

But now, Cosima was screwed.

She felt herself getting upset when Delphine would leave. She felt her mind slipping into fantasies of Delphine staying over, holding her, waking up in the blonde’s warm embrace.

She had completely fallen for her, and it was bad.

She knew she shouldn’t let it continue like this. She knew she would just be digging herself deeper and deeper, but she didn’t want to lose what she had.

I can’t give it up. I need to feel her skin on mine. I need to breathe in her scent. I am so fucked.

Her mind spiraled until she finally succumbed to sleep.

---

“Scotty!”

Scott turned to see his dreadlocked coworker walking in the door, her usual half smirk on her face.

“You’re late, Cosima,” he mumbled.

“Oh come on, by like ten minutes,” Cosima answered, “Give me a break.”

Scott rolled his eyes and chuckled. He wasn’t really mad. He just hated how he let Cosima get away with anything.

“Delphine’s already sequencing the sample we took yesterday,” he stated, gesturing over to the office.

“Great,” Cosima answered, unenthusiastically, setting herself down at her chair to start up her computer. She felt the warm presence of Scott coming up next to her and leaned back in her chair. “What, Scotty?”

“What is going on with you two?” Scott whispered, “I know there is something. I’ve got a nose for lesbian drama, you know.”

Cosima laughed, “Oh really?” She typed in her password and started scrolling through her emails. “It’s nothing, Scott.”

“Uh huh,” he answered, unconvinced, moving back toward his lab table. “You’re lucky I’ve got a lot of work to do right now. But later, you’re gonna spill.”

Cosima ignored his comment and continued her work.

“Good morning, Cosima,” she heard in that beautiful French accent as Delphine walked out of the office.

“Hey, Del,” Cosima mumbled, continuing to type. She did not have the time to deal with her emotions, and she knew if she looked at her, she’d have to.

“I’m going to grab more samples from the lab down the hall. These are looking promising,” Delphine stated, walking out.

“Dude, are you ok?” Scott asked, sliding over on his chair. “You seem off today.”

Cosima sighed and looked up at him. “I’m just a little stressed.”

“If you need to talk, I’m here,” he replied, “You know that, right?”

Cosima nodded. “Thanks, it’s just a bit complicated between the two of us right now.”

“I thought the point of this whole thing was to make it not complicated,” Scott stated.

“I’ve got it under control,” Cosima replied, not wanting to get into it further. She could feel herself getting worked up and she did not want to get emotional at work.

“I just don’t like to see you hurting, Cosima,” Scott responded, sliding back over. “I can see it on your face. You should end things before they get bad.”

Scott was right, but Cosima didn’t want to hear it. She wanted Delphine too much to let her go completely, even though she was kidding herself. She didn’t really have Delphine. At least not in the way she wanted her. She took a deep breath, focusing on her work, throwing it out of her mind for the moment.

---

Cosima and Delphine did not see each other outside of work for the rest of the week. They were both busy and Cosima wasn’t sure what she should do about the whole situation, so she didn’t press it when Delphine didn’t ask to hang out.

When Friday rolled around, however, they all went out for their after work drinks, a weekly tradition for whoever wanted to kick back and relax at the end of a stressful week.

Cosima watched as Delphine chatted with Leekie, one of their mentors at the company. She sipped her beer, observing how Delphine’s curls bounced when she laughed, her smile lighting up the room. It had only been three months since she had come here, but it felt like Cosima knew her. It wasn’t because they had slept together so many times. There were so many other reasons. They spent all day at work together, figuring out issues and solving problems. They were a team, and they worked really well together. They had so much in common, and there had been so many times she wanted to take Delphine on a real date, as opposed to just going back to her apartment, making out and having sex. It was wonderful, but she wanted more.

As the night went on, Cosima had a few too many drinks and when Delphine proposed they go home together, she was more than happy to oblige. She wanted her.

As soon as they were inside, Delphine shoved Cosima against the wall. “I’ve missed having you this week,” she whispered in the brunette’s ear, slowly letting her lips glide along the smaller woman’s neck.

Cosima shivered and bent her head back, feeling herself turned on immediately. Her body craved Delphine.

“Take me to bed,” Cosima commanded, gripping Delphine’s waist and pulling her in so their hips were touching.

“Someone is bossy tonight,” Delphine laughed, but obliged as she led Cosima to the bedroom.

Cosima didn’t waste any time in removing her dress and bra, lying down on the bed, somewhat tipsy, in only her underwear. She watched Delphine take off her own clothes, anticipating the moment when that soft body would be on top of hers. That was her favorite, feeling their soft curves against one another, feeling the weight of the other woman. It was incredible.

Delphine climbed on top, having removed her clothes down to her underwear, and straddled Cosima, running her hands over smooth skin. She leaned in, her breasts pressing into Cosima’s, and kissed the brunette hard, their tongues instantly mingling.

Cosima felt the electricity immediately and whimpered into the kiss. To have Delphine on top of her, taking her, was the most amazing feeling. Her hands slipped around to the blonde’s back, moving down to her ass to pull her closer. Her hips grinded into Delphine’s, and she could feel how incredibly wet she was.

Delphine moved her mouth down Cosima’s body, kissing her everywhere, driving her crazy.

Cosima let out a frustrated moan, and Delphine chuckled. “Something you want?”

Cosima groaned and pushed Delphine’s hand down to where she wanted her. “Delphine,” she whined.

Delphine smiled and slide Cosima’s underwear down, placing her mouth on Cosima’s clit. The brunette moaned loudly, thrusting her hips into Delphine’s mouth. “Yes,” she panted.

Delphine moved her tongue, slowly teasing, before inserting a single finger inside.

Cosima’s eyes went wide as the feeling of pleasure shot through her. She gripped tightly to Delphine as the blond pressed up inside her. Delphine replaced her tongue with her thumb as she added another finger and moved back up so her body was fully pressing on top of the smaller woman.

“Yes...yes,” Cosima moaned, unable to think of anything else but the beautiful woman on top of her and the incredible feelings she was giving her.

Cosima looked up, catching Delphine’s eyes as she moved inside her. She could feel herself moving closer to the edge, her pleasure almost coming to its peak, her emotions coming to the forefront as she felt her eyes welling up.

She stared into the blonde’s hazel eyes, on the edge of tumbling down, their bodies moving in rhythm. “Oh, Delphine” she panted, “God, I love you.” Her words came out as she fell over the edge, her body spasming in pleasure, the moment so perfect.

Delphine was quiet as she collapsed on top of Cosima for a moment, both women catching their breath. After a minute, Delphine rolled off, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling.

Cosima instantly felt cold, her body uncomfortable. She shut her eyes tightly to not let any tears out. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck why did I say that?

“I...I didn’t mean to say that,” Cosima finally ended the silence.

“It’s ok, Cosima,” Delphine replied, sitting up and heading to the bathroom.

Cosima rolled over and curled into herself, knowing her tears were inevitable.

When Delphine came back in the room, she gathered her things and left quietly, not knowing what else to say.

Cosima knew this was it. She knew she had messed up. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being with Delphine again, so all she could do was sob.

--

Cosima woke the next morning with a splitting headache. She stumbled out of bed to grab some water and ibuprofen before she remembered what had transpired the night before. What had she been thinking? It hurt way too much to think about.

She had just sat back in bed when she heard a knock at the door. She groaned, wondering who would be knocking this early in the morning. Her eyes caught a glimpse of the clock as she stood, noting it was almost afternoon, and reluctantly swayed toward the door. When she swung it open, it was the last person on earth she expected to see at that moment.

Delphine stood, looking distressed, her eyes red. It looked like she had had a worse night than Cosima.

Delphine sighed. “Cosima, can I talk to you?” she asked, quietly.

Cosima shrugged, but moved out of the way so the blonde could walk inside.

“Look, I...I don’t think we should do this anymore,” Delphine stated, taking a deep breath and turning to face Cosima.

Cosima’s heart dropped and she swallowed before speaking. “Is this because of what happened last night?” she inquired.

“No, I…”

“Is that all I was to you?” Cosima interrupted, “Someone to fuck?”

“No, Cosima, please…”

“No, it’s fine. I see. I’m so stupid,” Cosima said, pacing the room, “I should’ve never…”

“Cosima, you knew what this was all along,” Delphine stated, starting to get aggravated.

Cosima huffed, walking up to Delphine. “Yeah, well I just thought maybe...the way you look at me when you’re inside me...the way you touch me...your tenderness...I thought you might have fallen for me too...ugh, never mind, forget it,” she spat angrily, walking away and plopping down on the couch.

“Cosima, I have to go back to France,” Delphine stated in a serious tone.

Cosima looked up at her, surprised, before looking back down at the ground and shrugging. “Oh,” she mumbled, “great.”

“My father is ill and they need someone to help run the bakery until they can find a replacement,” Delphine continued, “I knew this would happen. It was only a matter of time. That’s why—”

“So you were just using me?” Cosima said angrily, standing up once more.

“No, Cosima, please, I just knew I couldn’t get into anything,” Delphine defended.

“Well, good for you. Good for you for being able to do that,” Cosima responded, “Did you even think about how I might feel? For one second?”

Delphine could feel herself getting angry. “We had an agreement!” she shouted.

“Well I must be a fucking idiot then, to fall for someone like you. Can’t even separate my feelings...stupid Cosima…”

“Cosima…” Delphine answered, trying to grab the brunette’s hands.

Cosima pulled away. “No, fuck off...have a nice life Delphine,” she spat.

“Please, I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Delphine begged.

“Just get out of my house,” Cosima ordered, “Go! Get out!”

Delphine sighed and walked toward the door. She felt terrible. This wasn’t how she wanted things to be either. But certain things were beyond her control. She had thought if she stayed within the rules...the agreement...she could’ve prevented this.

She opened the door and walked out. She couldn’t look back at Cosima. It would’ve hurt too much.

---

[janyolski]

Fic: Paradise Lost

Link to FFN | AO3

Summary: A Rachel Redemption story! Set after the events of 5x10, it follows Rachel Duncan and what happens to her after her sisters gain their freedom at the expense of hers. She is stripped of everything that made her who she is, she has a target on her back, and she's missing one eye.

Author's Note: I read the Orphan Black Comic featuring Rachel and I just HAD to write her a redemption story. This one is for all the other Rachel lovers out there~ I don't think she's so much different from her other sisters because I believe at her core, she just wants a li'l sisterly love, yknow? And a child.

Also, I'm still thinking of better story titles. Please PM me or leave a review for a suggestion or go over to my askbox and give me a suggestion! I will credit you for the title. You can also suggest chapter titles! Thank you very much~

Chapter 1

"Rachel, you know you can't come in."

Felix says it the way a mother admonishing a child would, for wanting to go into an inflatable bouncy-house when the other kids already playing inside hate her - firmly but with a tinge of pity. She feels disgusted with herself - disgusted that she was at the receiving end of pity from someone like Felix Dawkins.

But she was mostly disgusted that she actually wanted to go inside. She wanted to be with her sisters. She craved what they had.

Love. Freedom. Peace. Each other. Family.

With Ethan and Susan Duncan actually dead, Aldous Leekie shot and post-mortem decapitated, Neolution and Dyad up in flames, and Ferdinand dead with a gaping hole in his throat, Rachel Duncan is truly undeniably alone.

As much as she keeps thinking that she's used to this after growing up as a self-aware lab rat and eventual corporate mogul, her loneliness this time was different. Before she had anger to motivate her, anger to control: anger and ambition fueled her being and it was enough reason to wake up each morning and look forward to the next day.

But now, Rachel is just empty. No company. No parents. No conspiracies. No lovers. No one but herself. And she's even missing an eye.

Broken.

But she can't ever reveal that to anyone, especially not Felix. So, she responds with something Rachel Duncan would say; she holds her head high without looking Felix in the eye.

She couldn't bring herself to look Felix in the eye.

She gives him the envelope and hopes, genuinely hopes, in her heart that this gesture would at least mean something.

"It was Kira. She asked me to come find you."

Rachel Duncan prided herself in being three steps ahead of everyone around her. But in all her years, this was something she would never have predicted; Cosima Niehaus coming to see her after she's flown to a different country with a different name, at one of the many 7-elevens where she works as a nightshift cashier at.

Since the destruction of Neolution, all of the LEDA clones were free. All except her. Rachel Duncan became the number one target of the remaining heads and board members. They still had connections and deep pockets, all the means to put a bullet through her head. Of course Rachel wouldn't let them. Her body was her own and she was not going to let anybody dictate how she dies.

No, Rachel Duncan would live on her own terms. So, she went off the grid with the little money she had left using a fake passport she had prepared for emergencies. She flew to a country where it was always warm, like she and Ferdinand always wanted. She used the money for two months of advance rent for the crapbox that's now been her apartment for the last ten months and made sure to stock up on food and supplies. She also managed to illegally purchase a small gun to protect herself with. She thanked the country's loose gun control laws for this. In no time, Rachel found herself blending into the city like a chameleon.

And now her dreadlock-sporting clone is standing in front of her, miles and continents away from Canada or Minnesota, where it all began.

"You didn't answer my question, Cosima. What do you want?"

Her own real voice sounded foreign to her ears. She had to drop her accent and change her voice, pretend to be another out-of-luck and broke American to not draw suspicion to herself, and to get the job she has now. She was already a foreigner in a third world country; she didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb with her British accent. She's had to dumb herself down and make up a background story for herself.

Some nights as she lay in bed waiting for sleep, she wonders if she's ever even been a real person, if she's even ever had her own personality that was not touched by Neolution or the need to be better than the other clones.

She thinks of that girl in the video, laughing with her parents, playing in the grass, and she has her answer.

"Rachel, I uh... This is going to sound like bullshit but, I just wanted to see if you were… okay?"

Rachel's steel cracks from the sheer shock brought by her clone's words. She doesn't stop the laugh that escapes her throat. She's glad that it's two o'clock in the morning and there's no other customer in the convenience store.

Incredulous. Unbelievable. Bullshit.

For a moment she almost wants to crack a joke.

"Do you have hidden cameras there? Am I in an episode of Punked?"

But she looks at Cosima and there is nothing but sincerity and concern in those eyes that are biological mirrors of hers. Well, they used to be.

No. Cosima's eyes were warm and alive. Always have been, even when she was sick and almost dying. Rachel knew her eyes weren't like that. She looked at herself in the mirror often enough to know that her eyes were dead.

"Look, I don't expect you to believe me but Kira called me a few hours ago and she was worried. You know how she is. You know she… feels things."

Cosima's hands wave around in the air as she speaks. Rachel knew exactly how Kira is. More than anyone. Probably more than Sarah did. She'd studied Kira's biology and abilities. She knew that besides extraordinary fast healing, Kira had a deep sense of perception of this world and had a connection to all of them.

"Kira told me you're going to kill yourself."

Cosima's words are a thundering blow and the walls she built around herself crumbles.

It wasn't true that she was going to kill herself. She already did. Or at least she tried to, last night.

She cried no tears as she put the barrel of the gun inside her mouth, only felt a gaping cold emptiness in her core. She stayed that way for five minutes, still, like a mannequin positioned to illustrate suicides, she guesses. She willed her finger to just pull the trigger. Pull the trigger and end it.

But she couldn't. So she put the gun down after a while and went to sleep.

Rachel suddenly felt the missing emotions from last night drop like a weight on her chest all at once. Her uniform felt restrictive and she couldn't breathe. She was about to start hyperventilating and she recognized the coming onslaught of a panic attack. Her mouth goes dry and she swallows and tries to even her breathing.

Cosima eyed her and noticed the slight change in Rachel's demeanor. The scientist knew she touched a nerve - a big red angry nerve that's probably about to burst. She decides to act quickly to salvage the situation and Rachel's pride.

"Okay... Delphine and I will be in the country for a month. LEDAs to cure and other science stuff, y'know. Here, take this."

Cosima holds out her business card.

"Call me. Talk to me. I just wanna have lunch with you."

Rachel hesitates but takes the proffered business card. Cosima gives her a small gentle smile, nods and takes her leave; Delphine was waiting for her outside the store, smoking beside their rented car.

She tries to suppress it, nip whatever hopeful thoughts and ideas bubble up into the surface of her consciousness, but there was something there… Rachel was feeling something she hasn't felt for a long time.

The chimes placed strategically over the door rings to let her know there's a new customer. She pockets the card and takes a deep breath, turning her attention to the new customer and addressing them as she was trained to do so.

She considers calling Cosima in a few days' time.

[dashafromrussia26]

Toutes les bonnes choses ont une fin. Part 6

After every document about Leda clones was shredded and burnt Delphine sat on the sofa and poured herself a glass of Balvenie - 50 Year Old Scotch Whisky that her father’s lawyer and best friend presented to her as a gift after her graduation from the university. She kept it for special occasion but it seemed like it is the last chance to open the bottle. Besides, she would need some courage for everything she was planning to do next.

The whisky was rich and spicy. The taste of dried berries and a lingering sweetness in her throat made this moment feel weirdly epic. Little water drops from melting ice on the outside of the glass streaming down right between her fingers calmed Delphine down a little bit. It was her two minutes of clarity – pure vacuum in her head without fear, hatred or regrets. It was only her and that drink with slight taste of ginger and cinnamon and nothing could take that moment from her. She probably would be happy if a killer would show up right now because she felt calm and ready.

She dug around in her purse for a minute before dragging out a fag and a lighter. It took her a little while to lit it because the pack and her favorite cigarettes in it were wet because of the rain outside and then she took a long drag breathing the smoke from the cigarette in completely, not stopping for anything, as she usually does when she needs to gather her wits, even though she knew that her voice would become lower and wooly after it.

She had to decide what to tell Shay. It was clear that she has no right to disclose the information about Cosima’s heritage without her consent. Well maybe she might do that - the last time Cosima’s desires didn’t really bother Delphine because she kept the information about Kira’s stem cells in secret for a good reason which was still permanent. Well at least Delphine was sure that saving Cosima’s life was number one priority and asking someone’s permission would put the process in danger. She had one way forward back then, but now…Delphine didn’t know if there was a way at all. But what she knew for sure is that she wanted to let Cosima decide for herself this time who to trust.

Delpine would never let herself drive a car while she is drunk, but, after all, it was ridiculous to care about her own safety in existing situation. Nonetheless, she decided to choose by-pas roads on her way to Shay’s house for the other drivers and pedestrians’ sake.

She left the gun in the car despite the fact that Shay might react aggressively after what she’s done to her. And she couldn’t blame Shay for that. However, she couldn’t blame herself for behaving that way either. But one thing Delphine felt ashamed of was this strong feeling of disappointment when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to get rid of this little bitch. Even though Shay probably is a good girl and maybe Delphine should’ve been angry at Cosima who gave up on Delphine and jumped to another chick’s bed so easily. But it is not easy to think straight when it comes to jealousy and protective reaction for someone you love that much.

She knocked Shay’s door quietly, hoping she was home.

Shay’s face has changed in a moment she realized who was knocking.

“Go before I call the police” – Shay said with a poorly hided fear in her voice.

“Shay please! I don’t need to come in” – Delphine put her hands up trying to show that she has no intention to hurt her this time - “Just hear me out. I know what I did was unforgivable but I also know that Cosima really cares for you” – Delphine tried to sound nice but confident, but saying that words out loud was harder then she expected – “and I think” – her voice cracked and it took her intensive efforts to swallow her pride and pain and continue – “I think you two fit”.

“I don’t give a damn what you think” – Shay tried to sound as venomous as possible looking with that eyes full of hatred that no one could possibly imagine being combined with that pure angelic blue colored eyes and sweet face.

“Just know this. I won’t be in your way anymore. But it has to begin with a truth” – Shay was standing there knuckling her hand and being ready to fight back if something goes wrong – “I want you to give her this” – Delphine passed Shay a DYAD institute’s card with Cosima’s «324B21» ID-tag written on it – “and tell her that I said to tell you everything…” - Shay looked worried and a little bit surprised at the same time. She felt that something wrong is happening with Delphine because this incredibly powerful woman that aroused fear in Shay by her presence itself seemed broken – “If she wants to. It’s her decision” – Delphine finally raised her eyes at Shay with her eyebrows lifted up trying to smile and keep at least some of the dignity she used to have. But all the suffer and struggle she’d been through couldn’t been hidden behind that mask of a Superwomen. She got choked up with tears and only one thing she was able to say was - “Be good to her”.

Even though Shay truly hated Delphine it was heartbreaking to see that agony in her eyes. Probably it was that moment of female sympathy but she didn’t want Delphine to be in torment. But still, Shay was truly afraid of Delphine to even say anything back. And she didn’t have a chance to do it as Delphine quickly turned over and went out the building.

 -//-

 Delphine had been driving in her car around the block for an hour already trying to figure out what to tell Cosima. She clearly couldn’t tell her the truth because Cosima would fight for her even if it put them both in danger. For both of them taking steps was easier than standing still but this time she had to let this happen. But the Blonde needed to see her. She had so much to say to her but none of the words that were lingering in her head seemed appropriate. Delphine knew that she had to use all of her self-control to make it right. There was no more time to waste. Now or never.

She parked the car near the entrance to Alison & Donnie's «Bubbles» and came out of the car to enjoy the cold weather of Toronto for the last time. She loved that Canadian fresh air and these incredibly friendly people, this architecture and this delicious chocolate. Hard to say goodbye to that city.

Delphine heard the door was opened and turned her face just in time to see Cosima bundling up in her coat – this girl from San Fran has huge problems with this freezing Canadian winds. It was hard to ignore that she was wearing the same red coat that she wore that day when they attended Leekie’s lecture on Neolution. Delphine could swear the God that it was the last time when she felt so incredibly free while running around campus with two bottles of stolen wine, holding Cosima’s hand and laughing out loud pretending that she is just a foreign student trying to be friendly.

“Hey you came” – Cosima said with a slight relief.

“Yeah unfortunately I can’t stay” – Delphine tried to sound relaxed but with every second that she was standing near Cosima her heart rate was raising dangerously fast and it took her all the effort to stand still. She had to play it cool. She had to make sure that she wouldn’t give Cosima any promise or any hope for their reunion. Or maybe she had to make sure that she wouldn’t hope for happy ending for them after all.

“Oh not for a little bit?”

“No, I'm sorry. I need you to keep the sequenced genome safe and Kendall Malone far away”.

“Yeah, I think Mrs. S is really good at that stuff, so... she's got a plan” – Cosima looked confused because all of that was obvious. She couldn’t understand why Delphine looked so worried.

“Okay” – “Now go, Cormier. Until you do something reckless. You saw her. She is here. She is alive. She is with her family. Just say you are sorry and let her go” – Delphine was trying to persuade herself to leave.

“I know why you did everything you did. To Shay and… everything” – Delphine never expected this conversation to turn that way. She could never imagine that Cosima would understand and forgive her. But with every word Cosima said it was getting harder to leave. She had never thought that she needed forgiveness until she got it - “I'm sorry I made you make those hard choices and then... And then blamed you for them” – these words broke her shield, she cracked. She cracked like the last time when Cosima told her she came back for her. What Delphine was hoping for? At the end of the day only this tiny woman had this effect on her – all the walls she had been building to play the role she had to play were unable to keep Cosima.

That pain in her chest was overpowering. Delphine bit her lip trying to hold tears that were ready to stream down her face. She pressed her hands to the body hard trying remain control.

Cosima could see the storm raging in Delphine’s soul and she wanted to tell her how much she loves her, that she would never let anything bad happen and everything would be okay as far as they are together. She wanted to hold her and never let go.

And that look they shared. They didn’t have to say “I love you”. Their eyes showed that. Their eyes full of adoration – that look that a dog gives to his owner. The look full of pain and such indescribable love. Such love could start a war, tear everything apart and rebuild it again. The love that build bridges not walls. This almighty love. The love that will exist even after they are dead. The love that would never goes away.

The blonde gently ran a hand over Cosima’s cheek trying to memorise every inch of her beloved woman’s face. She bitterly smiled because that smaller woman made her happy again… even in this awful day.

“Oh mia, oh mia” – Delphine couldn’t keep it together anymore. It was selfish but the last thing she wanted to do before she dies is to kiss her soulmate. Delphine pressed her lips tightly against Cosima’s. Too forced, because Delphine knew this kiss was going to be the last and wanted to savor it for eternity. The brunette’s lips were smooth, supple. Delphine’s hands caressed her head, thumbs sliding up to Cosima’s flushed cheeks. The world fell away with that kiss. It was continued slowly and deeply, comforting in ways that words would never be. Delphine stopped the kiss to look at Cosima one more time.

“Give your sisters all my love” – Delphine said smiling smoothly running her finger over Cosima’s lip. And had to harness all of her will power to walk away.

 -//-

 Delphine stepped out of the vehicle to go to DYAD institute to finish some of her work when she heard the footsteps behind.

She kept moving praying to every God that might watch over her, even though she was not a believer, to let this happen fast.

After two more steps she put her bag on the floor and turned around to face the one who had her life in his arms. It was no surprise that Detective Duko was the killer.

“What will happen to her?” – Delphine wanted passionately to hear that Cosima would be safe before it happened. The sound of a gunshot broke the silence of the underground parking lot reverberating and thus lasting for the eternity in Delphine’s head. Searing pain bit through her skin, muscles, liver and back. She saw that Duko was aiming to her head to finish her off and she looked him in the eyes holding to the last ounce of strength to show him that her dying is just a step for them to end a war and she will fight with her dying breath until it is over.

She was going in and out of consciousness. The terrible burning feeling through the path of a bullet knocked her out and made her hold on to life again. That one sensation that was killing her kept her in conscious at the same time. Delphine tried to hold the wound tightly to stop the hemorrhage but her hands became slippery from the flood of blood and were becoming weaker with every second.

Random pictures in her head followed each other flashing: her first chemical experiment with her father, their fuss on the tree house, the lullaby her grandma used to sing her when Delphine was scared, the first meeting with Cosima, their jogging in the Campus, their first night together, her eyes, her soft hands, her smile and childish giggle, her dancing in the kitchen, and also some things that would never happen: Delphine proposing to Cosima, their vows, first dance under a huge oak with the sounds of string quartet playing James Vincent McMorrow’s “Cavalier”, unpacking boxes in their first house, their babies running around the playground, their first gray hairs… Delphine was slowly falling to the black hole and could hardly see the familiar faces above her and feel herself removed. Her last thoughts before black out were centered around Cosima and she felt not alone dying with her name on her lips. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724469

[mbtizone]

Cosima Niehaus (Orphan Black): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Cosima leaps from thought to thought, sometimes forgetting that she’s speaking with people who have no clue what she’s talking about (“Sorry, I got off on a tangent there…). She is gifted at generating possible answers to all of the questions that the clones come up with. She realizes that if the clones are part of a study, then they’re probably being observed by somebody close to them. Cosima is extremely adaptive in new situations (“This is the new normal”). Because Cosima is such an out-of-the-box thinker, she takes to the idea of being a clone much quicker and easier than Alison and Sarah do. Cosima remains open to ideas, keeping them all orbiting inside her brain. She can always come up explanations for things and tends to rapidly throw her thoughts at others. She doesn’t usually totally commit to the suggestions she makes, leaving herself open to spawn new proposals.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Intellectual challenges excite Cosima. She’s energized by discovery and enjoys solving puzzles. Cosima has a brilliant, analytical mind. She doesn’t mind making adjustments to her logical conclusions as she has new insights or gathers new information, and can easily change her theories and opinions in the moment. Cosima is extremely curious and has a lot of questions that she’s constantly pondering and wants to get answers to. Although she is a creative thinker, she’s also very practical. Sometimes, she looks at their situation with a sense of scientific detachment and, even though their predicament is scary, it’s also thrilling from an academic standpoint. Cosima has a good sense of humor and can be very quick-witted. She and Sarah (who share auxiliary Ti), are both able to “keep a sense of humor” about their situation, whereas Alison takes it all much more seriously than they do.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: When Alison and Cosima first meet Sarah, Cosima is the one trying to mediate and keep the peace. When she speaks, she knows how to phrase things in a gentle way. She recognizes the importance of being diplomatic and trying to solve problems through discussion. When Sarah tells Cosima that she thinks Paul might be falling for her, Cosima can immediately see the potential (Ne-Fe). “That’s awesome! You can use that!” When Cosima realizes that Paul knows the truth about Sarah, she reminds Sarah that Paul covered for her with his boss and suggests she try communicating with him before doing anything rash. Cosima has an understanding of the importance of using human interaction as a tool (Ti-Fe). “Well, if we’re going to get past our monitors, we have to engage.” She knows how to get people to trust her. For a while after Sarah learns the truth about what she is, she remains reluctant to help. Cosima tends to pose things to her in more of a “we” sense that makes the clones part of a team. She’s good at adjusting her tone, as well as her approach, depending on her audience.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: As a scientist, Cosima has a great memory for facts and details, which she sometimes relies on to help form her theories. Research is second nature to Cosima and she’s good at recalling what she learns. Cosima doesn’t spend a lot of time discussing the past, nor does she outwardly appear to be traditional or sentimental. She tends to be less methodical and more scattered – particularly noticeable in the way she speaks when presenting information to others. Cosima isn’t a conformist and doesn’t let society dictate her life. However, she is highly responsible and dutiful when it comes to her obligations to Clone Club and is usually very reliable.

Enneagram: Cosima’s a bit of a mystery to me, but I’m leaning towards 5w4 Sx/So. As for her tritype, my best guess would be 549.

Quotes:

Sarah: How are we all related? Alison:: We’re not! Cosima: Well, we are, by nature. She’s referring to nurture. Alison:: Just give us the briefcase that you got from the German. Sarah: I’m not giving you shit ’til you give me some answers. Alison:: You don’t rate answers. Cosima: Alison! Alison:: [Alison responds agitated sounding] Fine! She wants in? We’re clones. We’re someone’s experiment and they’re killing us off! Is that helpful? Hmm?

[Sarah remains silent after finding out she could be a clone] Cosima: Sorry. I wanted to float that whole clone thing a lot softer.

[Sarah tells Cosima that Helena wants the names of the other clones] Sarah: Don’t worry. I won’t give you up. Cosima: You know, maybe you should. Not to Helena, but to Olivier. Sarah: What? You were the one who said, if your blind subject suddenly became aware, you’d terminate. Cosima: Right, well, I’m beginning to rethink that. Sarah: Great, she’s got a new hypothesis.

Sarah: Olivier called Paul in hours ago, and he’s not picking up. Cosima: Well, that isn’t out of the ordinary, is it? Sarah: How should I know? There’s nothing normal about any of this, is there? Cosima: Sarah, this is the new normal, okay? So, Paul’s a monitor. He reports to Olivier, his handler, right? As long as Paul is on our side, we can start to finally get some answers. Sarah: That’s my point, Cosima. What if he’s not on our side?

[Sarah tells Cosima to stay away from Delphine] Cosima: Well, if we’re going to get past our monitors, we have to engage.

Cosima: I think that Oliver guy, he runs Paul. It sounds like some kind of double blind. Sarah: What are you going on about? Cosima: They are keeping Paul in the dark too. Right? So that he can’t skew the results either. Sarah: [Sarah loads her pistol] You mean he may not even know he’s watching a clone? Cosima: Yes, right. But Olivier definitely knows. Okay? He’s the one that we need to get to. Sarah: You mind if I get through Paul first?

[Cosima and Sarah discuss the church-related mission of Helena] Cosima: So, the fish reads Christian and, and crafted onto a weapon? A personal crusade. Sarah: Great. Is that it? Cosima: You know, when I’m seeing this branded onto Maggie Chen, I’m thinking that she’s not a lone warrior. To extreme creationist types, we would be abominations. Like, not God’s children, but, but, Satan’s. Sarah: So they hate us and she’s killing us, even though she’s identical to us? Cosima: Well, but if you were a messed-up, abused loner whose faith compelled you to belong and somebody that you trusted told you that this was the way to redeem yourself in the eyes of God, I mean… Sarah: Yeah, I might become an angry angel, too.

[Sarah tells Cosima that Helena thinks her and Sarah have a connection] Cosima: So, the woman Beth shot and Helena are connected. Holy watershed. Okay, Beth probably shot Maggie Chen on purpose. She never told us anything about this.

Cosima: If she’s not dead, we need to find her, find out what she knows. Felix: Are you mad? She’s a homicidal maniac. Cosima: Yeah, but we need to find out who she is, Sarah. She’s… She’s… She found us. She’s got answers. Sarah: The only way I’m going to do that is go back to being a cop.

Cosima: So Beth used facial-recognition software to find driver’s licenses in North America. Two matches. Sarah: You and soccer bitch. Cosima: Yeah, right. But who is the original? Who’s created us? Who’s killing us? We need to know, but, we lost our cop, so, however you manage to get into her shoes, we really need you to stay there. Sarah: Stay a cop to help you? Cosima: To help us. Help us find out who’s killing us.

[Cosima tells Sarah that she might have a monitor dilemma] Cosima: I may have a monitor dilemma of my own. Um, I’m new here this semester. I didn’t bring anybody with me, but, uh, someone wants to be friends. Sarah: Just stay away from them, Cos. Stick to the science, yeah? Cosima: ‘Stick to the science?’ What am I, the geek monkey, now?

Sarah: I’m going to shoot Paul’s balls off. Cosima: Wait, just, um, just squeeze them, ok? He’s our way into this whole thing.

[Sarah sees her and Cosima in the mirror together behind the bar] Cosima: Don’t worry, you get used to it. Sarah: To clones? Yeah, I’m not buying that. Cosima: How many of us do you have to meet, Sarah?

Sarah: Just answer me one thing… Cosima: Anything, yes. Sarah: If we’re genetically identical, do you get that little patch of dry skin between your eyebrows? Cosima: [Cosima laughs] That’s good. Try to keep your sense of humor. Beth couldn’t.

Delphine:: It’s Dr. Leekie. Should we invite him? Cosima: You’re single now. Delphine:: Oh, no, no, no. He’s too old. Cosima: But his mind is sexy.

Cosima: I just want to make, like, crazy science with you.

Cosima: We’re gonna to do an experiment. I want you to try to push your favorite pencil through this paper. [she holds a piece of paper loosely] Cosima: OK see if you can do it. [Kira tries and fails] Cosima: Oops. How come that didn’t work, I wonder? ‘Cause, you know what? You need more… force. OK? [ask she explains, several brief cuts to Cosima and Scott building a device in their lab] Cosima: So force equals mass… times… acceleration. How can we get the pencil through this paper, do you think? Kira: We need to make it sharper? Cosima: That’s a really good idea. High five for that. What about trying speed? What about acceleration? Maybe give that a shot? [Kira pushes the pencil quickly and pierces the paper] Cosima: Nice one!

Delphine:: Cosima, it’s your life. Cosima: It’s not just that. It’s all of us. You have to love all of us. Delphine:: Then I love all of you. Cosima: Good. Because if you betray us again, I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career. And I love you, too.

Cosima Niehaus (Orphan Black): ENTP was originally published on MBTI Zone

[lingering-42-long]

I’ll be home for Christmas

John ‘Soap’ Mactavish x reader

Warnings: sfw, a little angst, maybe make a pt 2, might be ooc, crazy Scottish Gaelic thrown in there, misspellings are dialect. 

My first SOAP opera. Lol puns aside I was in a Christmas mood, listening to Christmas music, at night, and feeling a little moody. I wanted to give this “Christmas” themed short a try. Let me know if I should do a Pt 2 on this. ALSO Gaelic in there, I tried to be as accurate as I could don’t kill me plz 😓.

John winced when he got the call from headquarters saying he would need to leave for duty on Tuesday, witch meant be on a flight to the shitty hell-hole of a place tomorrow. He hated being called at last moment. Being left out of the loop irked him to no end.

Soap looked over at the clock and noticed that his girlfriend would be home soon. She worked at a local pub by night in Sterling and her shift was nearing the end. Just as he was thinking about her his phone buzzed with a text. It was from (y/n). ‘Hey Johnny, I’ll be home in a bit on my way.’

John texted back ‘ok love. See you here.:)’ He noticed she called him Johnny not hunny or babe. She must be tired. He thought to himself as he got up to finish dinner. He hated having to leave her behind in such short notice.

The Cock-a-Leekie soup was almost finished when John heard keys outside jingle and the lock opening. (Y/n) came in on this chilly night.

“Brrrr. It’s cold out there” she shivered and hung her jacket on the peg by the door and was in the process of taking her wet shoes and socks off, when two arms snaked around her waist. “Aye mo leannan (yes my sweetheart). You’re cold aren’t ya?” His thick Scottish accent rolled off his tongue as he kissed her neck. A giggle could be heard from her lips “Already trying to flirt with me this late? “Lass if I was try’n to flirt with ya, I would’ve put more effort into it.” He gave a little nibble to her earlobe. (Y/n) smiled as she slipped on a pair of house slippers. “Something smells amazing. Are you making what I think your making?”

“Aye ghràdh (love).” Soap smiled as he dished out two plates.

“You really didn’t have to do that. It’s so late…” It was true. It was around 1:45am, but John didn’t matter. He knew he did not have much time with his Beloved. “No I don’t mind,” he smiled then his face dropped, “Also I got to tell you something.”

A frown formed on (y/n)’s face. “Let’s talk about it after dinner, ok?” John gave a quick nod and touched her cheek gently “tha gaol agam ort (I love you).”

A light blush formed over (y/n)’s face “I love you too”

Dinner was amazing and the two of them talked about (y/n)’s job and who was at the pub that night. John gave a slight snort when she was telling him about the idiot who kept flirting with her. “Did ye tell ‘em yur with meh?”

“Of course I did but you know how men are, he saw that as a challenge”

“Next time I’ll show him a real challenge” he huffed.

“No need. I took care of it quick.” She chuckled. “I got Bruce to start waiting on him.” The man Bruce, she was referring too, was a big hulking of a man and could scare anyone into submission if it came to one of his colleagues getting uneasy with a drunken idiot.

“Well at least he has been delt with.” John nodded. He was very happy that she could stand up in a fight. That’s one of the many things he loved about her.

“So…. What’s this bad news you have to dump on me?” (Y/n) asked already figuring it out but waiting for the confirmation.

“Lass I got called in for a mission… I know it’s bad timing.” So close to Christmas. It was both there favorite time of the year. It was going to be tough on them.

“Yeah really bad timing.” She bit her bottom lip trying not to let her tears fall. “I had made plans and everything too…oh well”

“Hey now mo aingeal milis (my sweet angel). Yer can still do those things, and the plan is to be home for Christmas… if all goes to plan tha’ is.” A simple touch to the shoulder almost sent (y/n) crying. She was a tough-ie but things that were very important to her still got to her. “I know…I just worry if you will be ok…if you will make it…”

“Aye Bonnie I promise ye I will com back home in one piece yeah?”

“Alive?” She asked

“Alive and well.” He chuckled. “Now go get ready fer bed. I’ll clean up and be there in a bit.”

She shook her head “I want to help…”

“Your tired. You’ve been working all night. Let me do this fer ya.”

“Fine.” (Y/n) trudged upstairs to their room and washroom were she took off her makeup and jewelry. She had worn the necklace and matching earrings that John had given her last year as an anniversary gift on Valentine’s Day.

She looked at herself in the mirror, tears still threatening to spill, a long night and now this? Pull yourself together girl. (Y/n) told herself but to no avail. When she made it to the bedroom to get changed for the evening, the thought of her boyfriend leaving her made the waterworks start as she burst out crying into her pillow, sobbing away. Perfect timing for Soap to walk in, catching sight of his overtired, crying girlfriend.

“Hey hey hey! What’s this Love?” Gently kneeling beside her side of the bed and placing a hand on her back.

“I’m sorry I must be tired, but the thought of you leaving for the holidays…” (Y/n)’s voice broke again as she tried to regain her composure.

“No don’t apologize, ghràdh (love). I wished I could have told you sooner.” He kissed her head gently. “I know this will be h’rd on both of us but we can work this out, yeah?” John got up and walked to his dresser to get on a pair of pants. He liked to sleep shirtless.

As soon as Soap opened the covers to get in, his girlfriend clung onto him. “Aye lass I got ye.” He chuckled and stroked her head. “I’ll wake ye up when I leave ok?” No reply just a nod into his chest. Softly, as if she would shatter in his arms, he hummed an old song and gently rubbed her back. This made (Y/n) break down and cry again. “I got ye let it out. Shhhhhh.” John murmured, now his own eyes betraying him as they stung with salty water threatening to hit his pillow and his girlfriend. He held (y/n) tightly, letting her cry to sleep, knowing that would be the best for her. Soon he was following in that pattern.

It was 6:30am when John began walking to the door with his sleepy girlfriend in tow, holding his arm. Soap opened the door, with his duffel bags in hand gave his (y/n) a kiss. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, you’ll see”

(y/n) nodded sadly. “Be safe out here ok? Kick there asses.”

He gave a small smile “I always do.”

John turned around to head for his car don’t turn back, dont fucking turn back. But he did and saw (y/n) standing there “fuck” he muttered a small choke. He dropped his bags and swiftly dashed back to her.

“Oh lass I am going to miss ye so so so much!” He was shaking. Trying to hold it in, trying to be the big tough Sargent he needed to be.

“It’s ok. You told me last night we got this, it’s not like we haven’t been in this same boat before. If we did it 100 times before we can do it one more time. I’ll be waiting here for you when you get back ok?” A smile laced with sadness stretched over (y/n)’s face.

He pulled himself up and nodded. She was right. With a final lasting kiss he went back to grab his bags once more and this time made it to the car without look back. Setting his stuff in the back seat, he then got into the front, starting the engine, and slowly driving out from the driveway. He could see her silhouette in the dim light coming from the living room as she stood outside watching him. Soap drove down the road towards the airport with one thought on his mind.

When I get back love, I’m going to ask you a question… I hope you say yes.