#it’s only ever really quantity over quality anymore

[kimtaegis]

trying really hard not to be upset these days

[snailmail444]

After reading the Masturbationen headcanons for the Bachelors… Can we get masturbation headcanons for the bachelorettes? 🫶🏻

Bachelorette Masturbation Headcannons

18+ 🌱 NSFW 🌱 MDNI

This took soooo long. So so long. But it’s HERE! I’ll probably be double posting today since the poll said post as I finish and I actually have two asks done hehe. Hope y’all are ready for a double feature! NSFW under the cut!

Penny-

🧡 It’s all or nothing for penny. Either her mom is out and she’s got all the time in the world, or her mom is home and she can’t hide a damn thing.

🧡 Luckily Pam has a solid routine every night, so Penny has been able to find time for herself when the mood strikes.

🧡 It’s not a usual occurrence for Penny. She’s got a lot of deep-seated repression that makes it tough for her to follow through on any sexual urges. She’s still undoing the small-town-youth dynamic that it’s dirty and shameful for women to pleasure themselves.

🧡 Sometimes though she’ll be reading fanfic (because let’s be so real you know she does), and she can’t ignore the ache in her center anymore.

🧡 Bites down on her lip and edges her bottoms off anxiously, still a little worried someone might jump out of the shadows and damn her in the name of Yoba for sinning.

🧡 Settles in pretty fast though, and lets herself get lost in the story. Pretends she’s the character being ravaged, typically in a highly romantic setting.

🧡 Penny seems like a total pillow humper to me. Gets all flushed and red and tries to muffle her moans as she grinds against the fabric.

🧡 Really sensitive so she doesn’t need much more than that. Maybe a free hand to play with her breast, but honestly not even that.

🧡 One and Done. The guilt sets in and she feels embarrassed all over once she finishes, so she throws everything in to wash and showers off the evidence ASAP.

Maru-

💜 Doesn’t have a ton of personal space/boundaries during the day. She has to wait until nighttime to even think of letting off some steam (thanks, Demetrius)

💜 Once she’s certain her parents are asleep—thank god Sebastian doesn’t ever leave his room, the night owl—Maru climbs down into the privacy of her workshop and allows herself to unwind.

💜 Maru is a woman in STEM. A gadget queen, if You will.

💜 She only has a couple of toys, but they’re high-end splurges. Quality over quantity.

💜 Could make her own if she really wanted to, but she’s got more robotics projects on her plate than she can finish. The last thing she wants is to have to wait to finish making her sex toy before having fun with it.

💜 Her favorite is just a plain blue toy that looks unassuming, but it feels like it’s thrusting inside her, and she can just lay back and enjoy it.

💜 Girls arms and wrists are tired after a day of engineering, so it’s a lifesaver to not have to do that work herself. All she wants is to feel fucked full and nothing else.

💜 Maru’s mind is always going, which is good and bad when she’s trying to get off. On the one hand, it makes for some vivid fantasies. On the other, sometimes she doesn’t want to have to think at all.

💜 Her fantasies are often of whirlwind, desperate romances. Stolen away in the nearest closet, shoved up against a tree, spread out on top of her workbench. She dreams of reckless, passionate, I need you this minute sex. It gets her so wet she’s soaking.

💜 On the days when she wants her brain to go quiet, she’ll make sure to keep going until she’s cum three or four times. Until her ears are ringing and her body is completely exhausted. Kind of a stamina queen, to be honest.

💜 She sleeps like a baby on those nights.

Emily-

💙 Lowkey I think Emily would be a licensed sex therapist.

💙 She’s very well educated in the importance of sexual health. For her it’s a spiritual practice of keeping herself balanced.

💙 Haley’s home like all the time which sucks, but she gets an okay amount of privacy regardless because their rooms are on opposite sides of the house.

💙 Lights incense that has properties good for sexual energy or something I dunno.

💙 Has a (body safe!) crystal wand that she fucks herself with.

💙 Loves how cool it feels at first and the fact that it warms to match her body temperature.

💙 Little miss active imagination doesn’t need porn or anything, she just gets right the hell off on her fantasies.

💙 As for what she fantasizes about? Girl goes wild thinking about having three or four partners. Ideally it’s three or four people all focused on pleasing her, every sensation hands and mouths and skin on skin—she gets really hot thinking about it.

💙 Her nipples are really sensitive so she makes sure to stimulate them a lot, pretending she has someone to focus on each one individually.

💙 Enjoys being present with her body and engages her senses. Really wants to sit with all the sensations and draw them out.

💙 Doesn’t cum every time, but that’s not the point for her. Unless she’s specifically trying to cum, it’s an added bonus. Something nice, but not necessary. It’s all about the journey for Emily.

Leah-

💚 Leah has it MADE in terms of getting off.

💚 Queen of living alone in the woods.

💚 Full privacy. Loud noise never carries from the solid insulation and the dampening of the trees. She can’t full out scream without being heard, but almost.

💚 Has a collection of dildos she’s made herself out of scrap wood. She started making them as a joke, but then she was like actually…this could be great for me.

💚 Don’t worry, she’s taken great care in making sure they’re body safe. Made with love and all that.

💚 Her favorites are the ones that she’s left knots on. A smooth fuck is nice, but she loves the added sensation from the bumps.

💚 Her internet isn’t great, but she’s lucky to have a collection of artsy porn films. Again, something that started as more of a fascination, but to be honest it’s super hot.

💚 One in particular is her favorite, with a long shot of eating pussy. It’s supposed to be a love story, the way it’s framed, but more than anything it’s just hot. Reminds her of some of the best oral she’s ever gotten.

💚 Takes her a long time to get off, but she’s learned not to rush it. She’ll finish when she finishes, and it’s always worth it.

💚 Needs a nice, long, relaxing shower afterwards, and unwinds with a cup of herbal tea.

Haley-

🩷 Emily is gone a lot working at the bar until late, so she doesn’t have to worry about finding time.

🩷 Definitely has a collection of toys for whatever mood she’s in.

🩷 Quality AND Quantity babe Haley will not deny herself pleasure.

🩷 Absolutely will treat herself too. A nice glass of wine and some mood lighting. Big fan of setting the vibe (pun intended).

🩷 Soft BDSM girlie. Adores any porn where the sub ends up a whiny desperate mess

🩷 It’s an ego trip. She absolutely wants to think that whoever she’s with would be reduced to absolute pathetic begging for her.

🩷 She finishes faster than she would like sometimes, so she’s mastered the art of edging.

🩷 She’s not gonna put all that effort in for nothing. If she’s set taking her time to enjoy herself she’s going to be TAKING her TIME.

🩷 Finds it really hot to be able to watch herself so sometimes she’ll set up in front of her floor-length mirror. Not as good as it is with a partner, but it’s got a similar draw.

🩷 Really quiet when she cums, her cheeks flushed and a gasp stuck in her chest while her body seizes with pleasure.

🩷 Might go a couple more times depending on how hot and bothered she is.

Abigail-

🖤 Abby has the least privacy out of the bachelorettes.

🖤 Her situation isn’t horrible (read: better than Sam’s), but she’s always got low-grade anxiety that she’s going to be caught and absolutely mortified.

🖤 Never home alone either, but Stardew girls make do. Waits up until midnight or later and makes sure to be radio silent just in case her dad is roaming around.

🖤 Once she gets into it though…she gets into it.

🖤 Little miss visual aid over here be Watching porn. She almost can’t get off without it. She CAN but she doesn’t want to. Which is so real of her.

🖤 LOVES videos of people getting themselves off. Solo masturbation videos are so hot to her because it feels like a steamy mutual session when she touches herself.

🖤 Totally ends up imagining past experiences or current crushes taking up the same as the person in the video. Pleasuring themselves while she watches and watching her get off too…she’s practically gone.

🖤 Sometimes she likes to watch really hardcore, desperate railing if she’s feeling particularly needy or submissive. Every now and again she just wants to be told she’s hot, get spanked, and fucked within an inch of her life. Girl me too the fuck—

🖤 Gets off pretty fast and once just because of the anxiety thing. If she had more peace of mind it would be a marathon for her because with the adventure training she’s got stamina for days.

🖤 Still sleeps way better after and ends up having some very, very pleasant dreams with all of that imagination fuel.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

I don’t know how to start messages at all, so I’ll just get to the point: you’re writing is hecking amazing. I literally only just discovered your blog and I’m already hooked and invested in like 5 different stories. As people say, I want to consume your writing the way a wolf tears apart the innards of its prey (hope that’s not too weird of a compliment; I mean that the writing is very good. I’m not good at expressing extreme amazement and stuff through writing at all and general social awkwardness so sorry if I’m coming off as weird, I don’t mean to).

I have more things to say/ask (like how you write so fast cause the heck? That’s a compliment by the way), but I don’t want to be rude or annoying. Anyways, I hope you’re having a good day/night and are staying hydrated and enjoying some cookies (or whatever your favorite food is) while you do writing stuff (or school or whatever. Idk anything about your life. I’ll stop talking now before I go on another tangent like right now) :)

This is literally one of the sweetest compliments I've EVER gotten! I love the analogy with the wolf tearing out the insides of its prey, that gave me a good laugh and made me smile LOL. It's not weird at all! (At least, not in MY world, because 'weird' is my version of 'normal'. You can't out-weird me haha) and I'm super socially awkward too so I totally understand how you feel!

I absolutely adore the fact that you took the time to send this to me! It really helps motivate me to keep writing! I honestly wouldn't post here very often without comments like yours to keep me going.

On to answering your questions now. This is going to be a long one.

Firstly, I have a terrible relationship with sleep. Sleep hates me. So my solution? Stay up to 3am writing giant novels! Some nights the inspiration hits out of nowhere, and I'll write like a crazy person on their 10th cup of coffee, doing five whole pages in Google Docs. Like I don't know what sleep is anymore LOL. Then I break the large chunk of writing I did up into several smaller sections I can put into separate posts on this app that I can post slowly over time to keep people entertained for a longer time instead of posting everything all at once and running out of content.

For example, I might literally have 13 posts in my drafts section ALL from a single batch of writing I did all at once the night before that took me 5 whole hours to write and edit.

In all honestly I am NOT a fast writer at all. I just happen to be able to write giant sections at a time and then split them up so I can post frequently which gives the ILLUSION that I am fast writer because of how often I post content. But in reality it's just been prepared in advance on my sleepless nights where I power through and complete whole pages at a time. (I'm actually a slower snail when it comes to writing because I try to go for quality not quantity -- I take my time to make stories interesting vs just writing as long as I can)

It's convenient too because some days I don't have the inspiration at all/experience writer's block so I can just post content I made over the previous few nights instead to make up for not writing anything new that day.

I also have ADHD which makes it so I can hyperfocus on writing for several hours at a time without a break. Sometimes I'll get really deep into a story where I just can't put down my phone and stop writing to go to sleep.

Thanks again for your WONDERFUL ask! It made my whole day (or night in this case, ironically because that's what it is right now for me as I'm answering this LOL -- proving my point about no sleep 😅😅)

Keep being awesome my new fan!! 🥰 And hope you enjoy more of my stories!

[cosmichighpriestess]

Chosen Ones, Cursebreakers, Black Sheep turned into Golden Child, you were never the black sheep you were always the Golden child disguised as nothing and now you really have done a lot of inner work on yourself and you think no one noticed but the entire Universe noticed, witnessed and felt the change you made within. You impacted the entire Universe by choosing forgiveness and removing limiting beliefs from your consciousness. Never think your light doesn't matter. Your vibration, your essence, your unique light is so needed otherwise you wouldn't even exist because creation doesn't make mistakes.

But many people you know are not used to meeting someone like you with boundaries and pure authenticity. They are used to people going along with the status quo, they are used to people agreeing with them, getting away with using them, no equal give and take, listening to their drama, their finger pointing, their negative, limiting mindsets, codependency, and they are used to people who have low standards for themselves who do not love themselves and have low self esteem. And those people are all worthy of love and you tried to show them didn't you?

You on the other hand, chosen one, you have high standards for yourself, and you always had the mentality of quality over quantity. But many people lied to you about their true intentions with you and their true character, which was manipulative and you chose to see the best in them regardless of how badly they hurt you, tried to control you, belittle you, downplay your gifts, gaslight you etc. Some of you almost died several times from their abuse. But the Divine saw it all. Heard every conversation said about you and every lie told about you. You thought the Divine forgot just because you forgave them? The forgiveness was for YOU my love, to heal yourself and to know yourself as love, your true self, to shift timelines for your benefit to reach your highest self. On the lower timelines they are still being abusive to another version of you, yes. Please send that version of you all the love and wisdom they need through your heart center. You think the Divine forgot about those versions of you and them abusing you relentlessly without reason?

These people from your past lower dimensions of consciousness had every intention of using you, abusing you and discarding you when they were done with you because they couldn't control you. Yes they may be ignorant, blind to who you are, and unconsciously hurting that version of you. But they don't see the army behind you. You are uncontrollable and untouchable, especially now as you've advanced and ascended and blocked people from accessing you. All they can do is watch you. That is all. They can't hurt you anymore. But, the Divine is furious on your behalf of what they did to you when you were a blessing, a gift sent to help them heal on their own journey. They didn't want your help.

They wanted to ignore healing themselves and abuse you instead because they had false, negative distorted thoughts about you that were all lies sold to them from the ones who seek your downfall and you were a threat to them because they didn't know how to take accountability for their toxic, lower vibrational actions and your light exposed their darkness. See, what they don't know is that you're going to get everything you ever wanted and more. All your dreams are coming true. But they never believed in you and never saw you through a clear lens. Always forgive them, always send them love because they need it the most, if they are projecting onto you and others, especially now.

You are very protected at all times. Always remember, Angels and demons are not the same as humans. They not only work together to bring justice to us but they revel in it. We don't understand how they can destroy lives and bathe in the blood of their enemies. I don't understand it because I come from a realm of unconditional love, compassion and light. Everyone held the same level of compassion as me. In the higher dimensions. So do, pray for your enemies in the lower timelines, they do still exist but they can't touch you because you're too high. Light a candle and pray for them because justice is being served on a silver platter just for you and what they chose to do to a divine one when they refused to heal and treat you with the respect you always deserved. I love you, please hold no more pain from the past you're not going there.

[golbrocklovely]

Have you seen the argument that SnC can't be pulling away from the fans on social media because their 'social media stars' and that their entire job is social media so they are required to give fans tweets and instagram posts etcetc?

My opinion is no they're not social media stars anymore, they are YOUTUBERS, Instagram, twitter, tiktok and snapchat are just extras that these days they could stop if they so wanted. Their job is to create youtube videos, everything else they give us is given to us by their choice, they don't have to do any of that. They could if they wanted just use their social media accounts to promote only their videos and merch and nothing else like a lot of other youtubers do. They CHOOSE not to because in the past they have enjoyed the social side of things, but with their fans being assholes they are allowed to pull away from socials as they are not social media stars, it is not required of their job anymore. They are YOUTUBERS.

What are your thoughts?

it is very funny to hear ppl say this, especially when for years i thought the general consensus was that snc need to take a break and they deserve one. but now… no one wants them to have one. how weird.

first off, the main problem with this argument is that fans expect something for staying so long when we've never been guaranteed anything. i've been here for years, i don't expect snc to do dick all except give me content occasionally that i enjoy and continue to post on xplrclub where i pay to be/get exclusive content. that's all i'm owed. anything else is an added bonus.

fans that think they are owed something just bc they bought the most amount of merch or have been here for years or whatever other reason need a reality check. you are mistaking a past time of yours as a job. you aren't getting paid to be here. you can leave whenever. if you are no longer entertained, go.

snc haven't been consistent posters in years. like, yeah, there was a period of time from like 2015-2017 when snc were constantly posting on insta or twitter or snapchat or youtube. but it has not been like that in a very long time. snc don't have to put in that kind of work bc they have blown up already and now it's quality over quantity.

the problem i have with all of this is that snc have made it abundantly clear why they have started pulling back. EVERYONE IN THIS FANDOM IS AN ASSHOLE. what's not to get??

colby can't read comments anymore and has admitted so, he gets emails and loses followers over him growing facial hair, has been picked apart for years over his choice in gfs, got a terrible death threat a couple years ago that made him basically leave twitter, has gotten constant and dumb hate on there for years, got made fun of for being "fat" when it really him being sick with undiagnosed cancer, literally questioned even telling the fandom he had cancer in the first place bc he knew how they would react if he went bald, plus a mirade of other shit i can't get into. and even sam, the miracle child who rarely has ever had to face consequence for anything he's done or said, is now saying that fans are mean and words can hurt. so you KNOW it has to be bad for him to say something.

and they both said that they put too much of their personal life out there for everyone to see and it wasn't good for them, that they regret doing that.

this fandom thinks it "can say whatever it wants" without snc seeing it. or at the very least, they don't care if snc see. and in what universe would the idol want to stick around when it's fans are shitting on it?? you tell me. they're pulling back bc you all fucking suck. and when they eventually remove themselves entirely bc you want to bitch about their gfs or their face puffing up or whatever random other nonsense you deem worthy of a tweet, i don't want to fucking hear a peep. shut up, for once.

(none of this directed at you anon)

[nettleneopian]

you know I used to think it was kind of disappointing how little fan fare Halloween got compared to Easter on neopets but now I think it being simple is nice, a relief even

You used to only have one day to get your Halloween bags but the Easter/negg festivals just kept getting bigger and more bloated ever since they added the nc portion. Same with the faerie festival and altador cup. I can't even physical play any of the ac games BUT I still had to sign up to do Orion side quest shit and because I don't have time to check every day and missed the last part and I just never got that stupid tube that will probably be important later.

and the plot, oh fuck the plot. Cant wast time doing a bunch of battles in the battle dome or wake up in the middle of the night to do hospital shifts, wait 3 hours for tav's kictchen quest to roll over because its asking for a 4mil item but cant because I have work in the morning. But at least the games are doable for points right? haha sike not anymore fuck you

so I went to get my treat bad and see these walls of text, that once closed cant be opened again, and see they have lore and shit in them, so I left the tabs open over night because I didn't have time to read them and started thinking just really really REALLY they should be neopedia articles other wise it seems like wasted effort (yes even the dead chia one, do you know how funny that would be) Like that you have to dig thru random info on a holiday items on a fan site to find the the stories again is so annoying and like if book of ages adds stuff from this to character pages you know they're not going to source it so good luck figuring out were that info even came from in a few years. But I already complained about neopets scatterd lost lore

I'm just frustrated and exhausted with neopets as a game and lot of that is the plot and events back to back and overlapping. I know its to keep engagement up but it feels quantity over quality

if this years advent calendar expects anything from me other then showing up I'm going to lose it

[shamelessrabbithole]

Do you think the kisses between gallavich were different (less sexy/tongue) in later seasons. Post prison it just seemed like they didn’t really make out like they did in earlier seasons. Maybe the kiss after the barbarian comment or hall of shame? But in the show it seems like less gallavich passionate kisses. Do we think this was writing/direction? Actors choice (like maybe Noel came back and was like—but I don’t wanna tongue kiss anymore?). The idea that as people get married/go on with their relationship they don’t have to kiss like maniacs at every turn? What are your thoughts?

I feel there were a few reasons for their kisses taming down in later seasons.

1) Shameless decided to give us quantity over quality. This post👇🏻 shows every Gallavich kiss (on the lips) for all 11 seasons. There are 22 in total and 13 of them are from seasons 10 and 11. That's more than half. So, while we didn't get the passion of earlier seasons, where they were at the height of their dramatic arc, we did get a lot of fanservice. Each of these kisses was meant as a "gift" for Gallavich stans.

2) By season 10, Shameless hired an intimacy coordinator, where before they never used to use one. It was in response to the #metoo movement and this also likely influenced the kind of content we got. In fact, I recall a scene with Lip and Tami in the trailer after having sex and although Kate was topless, she was filmed covered by a sheet. Kev and Vee stayed fully dressed for both season 10 and 11 as well, and the few scenes we got with Debbie and Sandy, or Carl and Julia or whoever else, were also only suggestive and never explicit (thankfully because I don't think anyone would've wanted that anyway.)

3) This may be a less popular opinion, but I think you're right to assume that passionate tongue-filled kisses weren't meant to always be the norm in their relationship. Not that Shameless was big on realism ever, but if every romantic encounter between them was meant to be softcore porn, then the relationship really wouldn't have evolved into something believable. Personally, I'd have been thrilled if every kiss was wet and sloppy and shirtless. The more the merrier, but, we got what we got and I'm grateful for it.

4) Even though we Gallavich stans feel a big sense of ownership over the show, there was still an ensemble cast involved and the storylines were still meant to encompass the whole family. Plus, be watched by a diverse audience, not just us. I feel that to some degree, they had to create "balance" where they weren't just making season 10 and 11 a Mickey-and-Ian "kiss cam" compilation. So, that also may have been a reason why their romantic scenes felt diluted and downplayed.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

December 2023/January 2024 Contest Submission #9: a pinch of salt

Words: ca. 5,000 Setting: modern AU Lemon: no CW: none

With a low grunt, Elsa lifted the bag of flour to spill into the industrial mixer. Holding her breath and turning her head away while a puff of flour wafted out of the steal bowl. She didn’t need to measure, the cupcakes she was making required the entire bag and if it was a little off, no one ever seemed to notice. This wasn’t Paris anymore after all.

It was a big shift from quantity over quality. She still did her best on the more specialty confections, the ones in smaller batches. But with these cupcakes, she simply couldn’t, they were made and bought in mass.

“Good morning sweetie,” Elsa’s mother said, pushing open the back door with her shoulder. Letting in both the sounds and smells of the city. It closed with a soft thud and the noise in the back room was once again just the hum of the equipment. “I got you a latte.”

“Mom, we can make lattes here.” Elsa sighed, crumbling the empty bag and brushing off her apron.

“Yes, but that little shop on the corner has the egg sandwiches your father loves. And I just want him to be happy, he’s really struggling.” Iduna dipped her head and placed a small paper bag and a coffee cup on the counter near Elsa. 

“I know.”

“I got you some food too, I can’t just go in there and buy one sandwich, that would be weird.” Iduna laughed, it sounded a little forced but Elsa chose to ignore it.

“Well, you can, but thank you I didn’t have time to make anything.”

“Hmm, I figured and you can drink this coffee now while I get our machine set up.”

“Thank you, Mom.” Elsa opened the paper bag and took out the egg sandwich. her mom smiled and disappeared through another door that led to the upstairs. She glanced over at the mixer, debating for a moment before she leaned back and ate. Better to eat it while it’s hot, the cupcakes could wait a few minutes.

***

“And that wraps up today’s cafe adventure, make sure to leave a comment with your suggestion for my next cafe. Thanks for watching!” Anna smiled and held of the peace sign, counting to three in my head before she flipped the phone around and stopped the recording.

She took a sip of her drink and looked around the busy cafe, glad that she had long since grown out of being embarrassed of filming herself in public. Truly no one really cared, specially in cafes where folks were in and out with a snack and drink or deeply buried in their work of choice — hunched over laptops. 

Anna pulled out her own laptop, a few minutes later she was deep in editing mode, headphones on, computer glasses askew. A little notepad sat next to her where her marked notes for a voice voice she would record later.

The cafe thinned out around her, settling into the mid-afternoon calm before the teenagers and after-workers descended in masses. This was Anna’s favorite time at any cafe when she could really look around and enjoy the decor and little unique touches. This place was rather ordinary. Anna found herself stretching to come up with some positive things to say.

“Miss, we have two hour limit unless you buy something.” A tired looking barista said.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’ll just pack up and get out of your hair.” Anna smiled and the barista just sighed and nodded, drifting off to another table. Anna debated buying something on her way out as an apology, but the only non-drink items were some basic-looking chocolate chip cookies. She shoved her laptop in her backpack and shouldered.

“One cookie please,”

“Sure,” the person behind the counter said, scooping the cookie into a paper bag and handing it over in one smooth action.

Outside the cafe, the early evening was just starting to kiss the city, long shadows and slow traffic. She started walking, no destination, just to wonder till it got dark and then she would navigate the subway system home from wherever she ended up.

She passed a homeless man, sitting on a small blanket with his back leaned against a wall. People passed without paying him much mind. Anna approached and he eyed her but made no other moves.

“Here, I just bought it,” Anna said, offering him the cookie.

A weather-worn hand reached out and grabbed the bag, “Thank you, young lady.” He said offering a smile.

Anna returned it before continuing, hopefully the cookie would brighten his day a bit.

“Jimmy get the door.” A woman shouted once Anna rounded a corner. Only Anna didn’t see a woman, she only saw a stack of purple boxes wobbling towards a waiting town car and a panicked-looking young boy who was opening the door while his eyes, wide and frightened, stared at the stack of purple.

Anna held her breath but the woman was able to safely get the boxes into the back seat and she breathed out a sigh of relief at the same time as the boy. The pair of strangers disappeared into the car and it pulled away into traffic. She glanced at where the woman had come from and was surprised to find a combo cafe and bakery.

She pulled out her phone and googled the location. ‘Fjord Flavors Bakery’ popped up on maps but lacked a website or any social media. Anna’s interest spiked, this could be the hidden gem she’s been looking for for her web series.

She walked up to the door at the same time someone did from the other side of the glass. A woman. Tall and blonde, stood inside the shop. She looked at Anna for a moment as if waiting for something before she reached up and flipped the sign on the door to closed. She pointed with a long finger to a faded paper sign with hours before turning her back and walked away.

Anna was left speechless and intrigued, she needed to know more. She attempted to look through the windows at the bakery counter but the lights were flipped off and Anna was left staring at her own reflection.

***

Elsa pushed through the door to the back and hung up her apron. It was quiet now in the back room save for a faint hum from the walk-in fridge.

“Hi sweetie,” Iduna said, opening to door to the apartment upstairs. “I scrubbed the floors and wiped everything down already. You just need to take the trash out.”

“Thanks Mom,” Elsa said, rolling her sleeves up. “What did you want for dinner?”

“Oh, your father really wants Chinese takeout if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that will work,” Elsa said with a sigh. “I’ll just get my usual. I’ll be up after this.”

“Alright sweetheart, I’ll call Wok The Block.” Her mother disappeared through the door. Elsa took the trash out, wrinkling her nose at the smell and pretending not to see the rats scurrying away from the shared dumpster.

She looked up at the glowing window of the second floor where she shared an apartment with her parents. This wasn’t where she had imagined herself being but life is weird like that.

“Hey dad,” Elsa said as she finally walked into the apartment. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’m doing great honey, I think I can come downstairs and help tomorrow.” Her father replied, his voice raspy.

“That’s great dad.” Elsa forced a small smile, it was the same every day. But he was never well enough the next day. She often flipped between annoyed and missing the man her father used to be before he got sick, before Elsa came back home to help.

  ***

Anna held up a hand to shield her eyes from the early morning bright sun, well early for her anyway. She was making her way back to Fjord Flavors Bakery, she needed to scope it out and make sure they were okay with her filming a vlog in there. Most places had no issue but she always asked anyway.

The bakery was fairly busy with sleepy patrons and frantic-looking folks of intern age. It smelled like a lovely mix of coffee and fresh bread with a hint of sweetness. There were stacks of purple boxes in various sizes on nearly every counter behind the register and the sparking large glass case showcased everything from chocolate moose cake to simple bagels.

Anna was captivated, her eyes darting around the small shop, bouncing from various things in the glass display case to the handwritten menu board. She didn’t notice she was next in line till a warm voice cut through her thoughts.

“What can I get you this morning?”

Anna blinked and chewed on her lip. “Um, a vanilla latte and a—“ She looked over at the case, noticing the blonde woman from last night for the first time. She had a baseball hat pulled down low on her face, hiding most of it in shadow as she moved with an almost floating grace, putting goods in boxes or bags.

“Sweetheart?” The woman at the register asked again. She was older but looked much like the blonde woman, at least from what Anna remembered from the few seconds she saw her on the other side of the glass.

“A chocolate muffin please.”

“Good choice, you can tap your card when you’re ready.”  She didn’t wait for Anna to finish paying before turning around to begin working on Anna’s latte.

As Anna waited for her latte and chocolate muffin, she couldn’t shake the feeling of anticipation that fluttered in her chest. The bustling atmosphere of Fjord Flavors Bakery seemed to envelop her. She pulled out her phone on instinct, realizing at that moment that she forgot to ask about filming, too distracted with the baked goods. And, if she was honest, the younger of the two women behind the counter. Something about her just captivated Anna.

Lost in her thoughts, Anna’s eyes inadvertently met those of the mysterious blonde woman. A brief moment passed between them, a flicker of recognition that left Anna both intrigued and slightly unnerved. The woman’s gaze was penetrating, as if she could see through Anna entirely.

The older woman at the register, likely the mother of the intriguing figure behind the counter, smiled at Anna, snapping her out of the momentary trance. “Sweetheart, your card didn’t go through.”

Anna fumbled for her wallet and tapped her card again, grateful for the distraction. Once the reader beeped the older woman nodded her head and handed over her latte and muffin — enclosed in a little purple bag. Anna stepped away from the counter and took a sip of her latte before turning on one heal — committing before she could change her mind, and approached the younger woman who was still engrossed in her work.

“Hi,” Anna began, her voice carrying a hint of nervousness. “I was here last night, and I’m Anna, and I’m a food blogger. I was wondering if it’s okay for me to film a vlog here. Your bakery is so charming, and I’d love to share it with my audience.”

The blonde woman, her eyes still concealed beneath the shadow of the hat, looked up from her task. There was a pause, a moment of silence that stretched, leaving Anna wondering if she had overstepped a boundary.

But then, to Anna’s surprise, a small smile tugged at the corners of the woman’s lips. “Sure, you can film. Just try not to get in the way too much. We’ve got a busy morning ahead.”

Anna beamed with gratitude, her excitement bubbling over. “Thank you so much! I promise I’ll be quiet as a mouse. Your bakery is truly special, and I want to capture its magic.”

The woman’s smile vanished. “Can you not put my face in your video? You can film my mom, Iduna, she loves attention.”

“Yeah of course, no problem-o uh… I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.”

“Because I didn’t give it, I usually don’t, but maybe I’ll tell you.” The blonde shrugged and turned around to busy herself with some other task, effectively ending the conversion.

Anna retreated to a corner, setting up her camera and adjusting the frame. The bakery’s ambiance, the hum of activity, and the tantalizing aroma of fresh pastries served as the backdrop for her vlog.

As Anna began recording, she couldn’t help stealing glances at the blonde woman, who continued working with a quiet intensity. The exchange between them felt charged with unspoken intrigue, a dance of curiosity and captivation.

***

Elsa continued her meticulous work behind the counter, arranging pastries with practiced precision. The rhythmic hum of the bakery machinery and the murmur of customers created a familiar symphony around her. She was engrossed in the delicate dance of crafting confections, her mind focused on the artistry of each creation.

The arrival of this new customer, Anna, occupied Elsa’s thoughts. She had observed the woman from beneath the shadow of her hat, curious about the stranger who had locked eyes with her the night before. Elsa’s eyes, sharp and discerning, followed Anna’s movements as she fumbled for her wallet and paid for her order.

Her mother, ever knowing glanced her way and gave her daughter a smirk. Elsa could swear that woman was some kind of mind-reading witch sometimes.

When the woman turned away from the counter, Elsa felt her heart sink a little only to have it completely flip over and she couldn’t help but feel a flutter of anticipation as she approached. There was something about this food blogger, Anna, that piqued her curiosity, a blend of charm and nervous energy that resonated with the essence of the baking itself.

Anna’s voice, smooth and kind sounding, reached Elsa’s ears and rang through them like a gentle song. The request to film a vlog seemed to echo through the busy bakery, and Elsa found herself torn between the desire to share Fjord Flavors’ story and the instinctive need to guard her own privacy.

The moment of silence that followed stretched, and Elsa locked eyes with Anna. The intensity of the gaze exchanged between them held a silent understanding, a recognition of the delicate balance they were navigating. When Anna’s request was met with a small smile, Elsa allowed a fraction of relief to wash over her.

“Sure, you can film. Just try not to get in the way too much. We’ve got a busy morning ahead,” Elsa replied, her tone measured. The decision to allow the filming was not without hesitation, but she couldn’t deny the bakery’s newfound visibility had its benefits. They needed more customers, they were barely breaking even as it was.

Anna’s gratitude beamed like a ray of sunshine, but Elsa’s smile faltered when the request about her face being excluded from the video surfaced. The vulnerability beneath the confident exterior became apparent. “Can you not put my face in your video? You can film my mom, Iduna; she loves attention,” Elsa stated, her voice carrying a mix of firmness and vulnerability.

“Yeah, of course, no problem-o, uh… I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name,” Anna responded, her enthusiasm tempered by the subtle shift in the conversation.

“Because I didn’t give it. I usually don’t, but maybe I’ll tell you,” Elsa said with a shrug, turning her attention back to her tasks. The brief exchange left an air of mystery hanging between them, an unspoken understanding that some stories were meant to be guarded.

As Anna retreated to a corner to set up her camera, Elsa returned to her craft, the dance of creation resuming amidst the inviting aroma of freshly baked pastries. The bakery’s ambiance, now subtly altered by the presence of a camera, continued to weave its magic, leaving Elsa to navigate the intricate dance between visibility and the sanctuary of the shadows.

****

Anna’s vlog unfolded seamlessly, capturing the essence of Fjord Flavors Bakery with a blend of charm and authenticity. Anna highlighted the meticulous craftsmanship behind each pastry, the warm interactions between staff and customers, and the unique charm that set the bakery apart.

The mysterious blonde woman, now a central figure in Anna’s narrative, moved gracefully through the frames, her hands expertly crafting delicate pastries. Anna didn’t realize until she was editing how much footage she got of the woman. That was not like her to make that much B-Roll.

The vlog, however, resonated with Anna’s audience, who eagerly embraced the enchanting story of Fjord Flavors. Within a few hours, it was already set to be one of her top posts. This was truly the hidden gem she had been looking for — she couldn’t wait to get back and film more.

As the week unfolded, the bakery continued to buzz with activity. The patrons, now aware of the filming, exchanged smiles with Anna. The atmosphere was charged with a sense of community, a shared appreciation for the hidden gem that had captured their hearts.

As Anna packed up her equipment, a few days later the older woman approached her, her eyes reflecting a mix of warmth and curiosity. “You’ve got a way of capturing the soul of a place,” she said. “We’re glad to have you share our story.”

Anna smiled, touched by the genuine sentiment. “It’s a special place, and your daughter… she’s something else. There’s a magic about her.”

The older woman’s eyes twinkled knowingly. “Elsa has always had a touch of magic. It’s what makes Fjord Flavors what it is. Don’t tell her father I said that though, he built the place.”

“Elsa,” Anna repeated, tasting the letters for the first time.

“Hmm, I don’t think I was supposed to tell you her name. Silly old me.” Iduna said, failing to hide a smirk. She turned and walked away before Anna could reply, disappearing into the back room.

“Elsa.” Anna repeated to herself as she glanced over to the counter again where Elsa herself was polishing the top of the glass case. Her hat pulled down so low that Anna could only see the very edge of her chin.

***

Elsa wiped her hands on her apron, the remnants of flour clinging to the fabric. The bustling activity of the bakery had quieted as closing time approached. Iduna, joined her behind the counter, offering a weary but affectionate smile.

“Another day is done,” Iduna remarked, her eyes reflecting a mix of exhaustion and resilience.

Elsa nodded, the weight of responsibility settling on her shoulders. “Let’s clean up and head upstairs. Dad’s probably waiting.”

Together, they moved with a practiced efficiency, tidying up the bakery with a shared understanding of the routine. The aroma of the day’s creations lingered in the air, a comforting scent that masked the underlying concerns both women carried.

Once the last tray was stored, Elsa locked the front door. They ascended the narrow staircase that led to the second floor. As they entered the apartment, the atmosphere shifted from the warmth of the bakery to a more intimate, subdued setting. The living room was adorned with family photos and traces of the life they had built together. Soft light illuminated the room, casting a gentle glow.

Elsa’s father was in his favorite chair, a worn blanket draped over his frail shoulders. His eyes, once vibrant, now held a weariness that spoke of battles fought within. Despite his illness, a flicker of a smile appeared and he sat up straighter as he saw Elsa and Iduna enter.

“Hey, Dad,” Elsa greeted, her voice carrying a mix of tenderness and concern. It had been months now and he hadn’t shown any progress. “How was your day?”

He coughed softly, a reminder of the fragility that had settled in and Elsa was painfully reminded that they couldn’t afford the medicine that could help him. “Same as always, sweetheart. You girls working too hard down there?”

Iduna leaned down to kiss his forehead. “You know us, always keeping things running.”

Elsa fetched a glass of water from the kitchen, handing it to her father. As he took a sip, his eyes met Elsa’s, and an unspoken understanding passed between them. The weight of their shared reality hung in the air.

“I’ll start dinner,” Iduna suggested, attempting to infuse the moment with normalcy.

Elsa remained by her father’s side, her hand gently resting on his. “You doing okay, Dad?”

He sighed, his gaze distant. “Just tired, sweetheart. But seeing you and your mother’s faces at the end of the day makes it all worthwhile. Your mother tells me the bakery has been a video-er the last few days.”

“Yes, we’re not paying her but it seems to be helping business.”

“I heard she’s really sweet and pretty and your mother told me I have to tell you to talk to her.” A familiar twinkle danced across her father’s eyes.

“I’ll try Dad.” Elsa replied, not sure how much she believed her own words.

Her father smiled and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Elsa squeezed his hand, a mixture of love and sorrow coursing through her. The trio settled into the familiar routine of an evening together, finding solace in the shared moments that transcended the challenges they faced.

As the evening unfolded, the soft hum of family echoed through the apartment—a fragile melody that held within it the strength of love, resilience, and the unwavering bond that anchored them in the face of life’s uncertainties.

***

The following week unfolded with a rhythm of anticipation as Anna returned to Fjord Flavors Bakery. The atmosphere had shifted subtly as if the bakery itself recognized the growing curiosity that surrounded it.

Elsa, the elusive figure behind the counter, continued her work with a quiet determination. Her hat pulled low, veiled her expression, leaving Anna to wonder about the stories concealed beneath the surface. The name “Elsa” echoed in Anna’s mind like a secret she was on the verge of unraveling.

As Anna set up her camera for another day of filming, she couldn’t help but feel a magnetic pull toward the enigmatic blonde woman. It was a dance of curiosity and respect, a delicate balance that Anna had grown accustomed to navigating.

The day unfolded with the familiar symphony of Fjord Flavors—the hum of machinery, the aroma of fresh pastries, and the chatter of contented patrons. Anna’s lens captured the intricate details of the bakery, from the artful arrangement of desserts to the interactions between staff and customers.

While filming, Elsa’s hands worked their magic with practiced finesse. The vlog became a canvas, each frame painted with the passion and dedication that Elsa poured into her creations. Anna couldn’t deny the magnetic allure that Elsa exuded, and her camera seemed drawn to the mysterious pastry chef.

As the day wound down and Anna packed up her equipment, Iduna approached once more, her eyes twinkling with a knowing gleam. “You’ve been capturing the essence of Fjord Flavors beautifully, dear. My daughter may be a bit of a mystery, I’m afraid. There’s a reason I suppose, but I think she needs someone to talk to.”

Anna nodded, grateful for the hospitality she had received. “Thank you,” she paused before continuing, weighing her words. “Do you think I’m the person to talk to her? I’m just a vlogger, I can’t say I’m really friends with Elsa.”

Iduna chuckled softly. “Well, dear, I watch your vlogs and I know my daughter,” She looked directly into Anna’s eyes, her expression hard to read. “Sure, sometimes the best stories are the ones left untold. But I have a feeling Elsa might be willing to share a bit more, given the right nudge.” She winked and walked away.

Encouraged by Iduna’s words, Anna glanced over at Elsa, who was now meticulously arranging a display of delicate pastries. The hat cast a shadow over her features. Anna swallowed, she wanted nothing more than to have a meaningful conversation with Elsa. Even with her face covered, the woman drew Anna in like a moth to a flame.

Approaching Elsa with a newfound resolve, Anna couldn’t suppress the curiosity that fueled her, if Elsa was a cliff, she willingly jumped over the edge.

“Elsa?” Anna began.

Elsa jumped and visibly tensed, forcing Anna to fall silent. She turned slowly, cold blue eyes locking with Anna’s. There was fear there, a panic that stirred under the surface. And Anna wanted nothing more than to reach out and calm the storm.

“Elsa?” Anna tried again and was met with a scowl as Elsa rushed forward and placed a hand over her mouth.

“How did you learn my name?” Elsa demanded in a hushed whisper. Anna was distracted by how close their bodies were, never mind the strong hand over her mouth. With Elsa this close she could really see her face and the delicate features, the sharp cheekbones, the soft lips. She was beautiful.

She looked familiar…

Someone cleared their throat on the other side of the bakery and Elsa stepped back, letting her hand fall but her eyes never left Anna.

“Come into the back, we need to talk.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Anna mumbled, she ran over to her bag and scooped up her belongings before following Elsa behind the counter and through the door into the back room.

***

The back room offered a small reprieve from the prying eyes in the bakery. Elsa closed the door behind them, the muffled sounds of the bakery now distant. She turned to face Anna, the air between them charged with unspoken tension.

Anna broke the silence first. “Okay, spill. Why the secrecy, Elsa? Which, by the way, your mom told me, alright?”

Elsa sighed, feeling the weight of the years of hiding settle on her shoulders. “I’m sorry I touched you without asking, it just caught me off guard and I got scared.” She took off her hat and ran a hand through her hair, letting her bangs fall. “As for the name thing… well, that’s on me. I should’ve been more careful I guess. But the secrecy, it’s a long story.”

Anna grinned, and Elsa could sense her eagerness and curiosity. “Long stories are my specialty. Lay it on me.”

Elsa motioned for Anna to sit at a small well-worn table in the corner. The old chair creaked as she sat down and gathered her thoughts, her gaze fixed on the floor. She was so tired of hiding, but so scared of being open. Yet this weird nerdy girl with a camera that kept coming back day after day had worn down a wall. And Elsa felt this urge to open up to her. Anna felt safe, and she liked that feeling.

With a sigh, she decided to just open the floodgates and see what happened. “I used to be a TV chef, you know? A pretty famous one, actually,” Elsa began, the memories stirring a mix of nostalgia and regret. “I had my own cooking show, traveled the world, won awards. It was everything I thought I wanted.”

Anna’s eyes widened with genuine surprise. “You were a TV chef? Seriously? That’s amazing! That’s why you look so familiar, I used to watch your shows. I was so upset you lost Iron Chef, that judge was stupid. Why’d you stop?”

Elsa sighed again, the weight of the past pressing upon her. “It’s a glamorous life, but it comes at a cost. The constant scrutiny, the pressure to maintain an image. I felt like I was losing myself. And then my dad got sick. So, one day, I decided to step away. I came back here, to my family’s bakery.”

Anna’s excitement tempered with understanding. “But why the secrecy? You could’ve been a sensation, Elsa! People would love to know the famous TV chef behind Fjord Flavors.”

Elsa’s eyes met Anna’s, revealing a vulnerability that went beyond the façade she had carefully crafted. “I don’t want the fame, Anna. I found solace here, away from the spotlight. I wanted to be able to focus on my dad and help him, and I did till my money ran out.” She picked at a piece of dried flour on her apron. I didn’t want people to see the TV chef; I didn’t want the food critics coming here and tearing this place apart just because I was famous. I just wanted them to enjoy the pastries.”

Anna nodded, absorbing the sincerity in Elsa’s words. “You’re not just hiding from the world; you’re hiding from your past. From who you used to be.”

Elsa simply nodded.

Anna’s gaze softened “You know, Elsa, I get it. Fame isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. But your story, it’s captivating. People would understand.”

Elsa offered a small, appreciative smile and stood up. “Wait here.” She ran up the stairs into the apartment, pausing to check on her father who was softly snoring away. After grabbing the box she was looking for she ran back downstairs to find Anna looking around at the various machines.

“Look, I don’t know if this is the right thing or not, but if anyone was going to break the news that Chef Elsa has been here in this little bakery, I want it to be you.” Elsa held out the box to Anna who took it with a confused look.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a bunch of my old TV stuff, tapes, and photos, things you can use in your video. Everything in that box is all yours, consider it a gift.”

“No Elsa, I can’t take this,” Anna said, handing the box back. “You kept your privacy for so long, why now suddenly?”

“Because maybe you’re right. I thought people would judge me. But as you pointed out, people would understand. And I’m selfish for not using my fame to help my dad. So here we are.”

“Okay, but I have a better idea than I box of the past.” Anna bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling.  “Two things, first, let’s let up an interview and I’ll film it. Second, let’s go on a date, get dressed up, have some drinks, and just talk about whatever.”

A warm feeling bubbled up inside Elsa and she couldn’t help but smile. “You mean that?”

“Well yeah, I have my camera stuff with me.”

“No, about the date?”

Anna’s face turned bright red. “Oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have overstepped, I just thought that uh… I’m sorry.”

“Hush, I would love to go on a date with you. I’ve been waiting for you to ask.”

[crow-in-a-teapot]

zach sang hozier interview musings

ngl I was worried at the start with Zach pronouncing Andrew’s name wrong and then the question about nature, like it all started off vaguely awkwardly and I was wondering if he actually knew much about Hozier/listened to much, which obviously doesn’t matter in most interviews but I feel like it’s awkward as hell if it’s an hour long interview. But it so picked up around the middle - while watching I had sped it up a bit while there were very short and general questions and answers, but then started watching it in normal speed again when they started having the really interesting back-and-forth about how different it is to have a song between two people, and then have the audience change to thousands, like having such an intimate form of communication between two people suddenly be open to so many. Especially with the context of Francesca, of adding an extra layer to a song not just to make it more meaningful, but to create a sense of distance between yourself and the song so it’s not a direct glimpse into your life, being able to hold the song at an arm’s distance by saying it’s about a myth or historical character. That was just so fascinating.

And then that conversation leading into one about social and political issues. The mention of BS jobs by David Graeber was such a jumpscare because I remember watching a Philosophytube video essay on it, I love crossovers like that. I also think that the way they talked about Take Me to Church was more insightful than in (maybe the more short-form) interviews you most often see, the insight that it blew up on Reddit, how the creation actually worked, stuff like that. I also liked his acknowledgement or maybe realisation that the way that it blew up was truly so out of nowhere - seeing songwriters in LA working nine to five and having this work ethic that maybe Hozier never had to learn or develop, because the first song he EVER RELEASED blew up like that. It kind of gives more insight into his work process, you are not going to be putting out albums every two minutes if that’s not what you were ever used to, if you didn’t necessarily need to throw things at a wall and see if they stick, if you never needed to prioritise quantity over quality (obviously this isn’t brushing away all the work that DOES go into his music).

I like the comment about working with MEDUZA being him ‘lending his voice’. When Andrew mentioned preferring just using his voice when producing, because he isn’t necessarily the best at instruments (I’d disagree but I’m not a musician idk what he’s on) but then the layered vocals end up staying in finished versions of the track, which explains a lot of the choral stuff going on in his songs. I also appreciate Zach for pointing out that ‘you might be the only person who CAN do that..’ just casually replacing instruments with his voice because he doesn’t have an instrument on him.

- Shoutout to that weird image of Beelzebub chewing on Judas.

- Mentions of and an explanation of future song ‘To Someone From a Warm Climate’??

- Hozier saying he’s not as scared of collaborating with people anymore!!

- WTF UNKNOWN IS OUT TOMORROW?? OH MY GOD. OH.... MY GOD

[secondmagic]

a fucking problem i've had recently is

a) i've been in college for the past few years and it's an art school so all my creative energy has been put entirely in school projects (and i am life a few months away from starting my last year where. i'll be working on my graduate film. which, wtf.) leaving me with little to no time or energy for personal stuff or stuff i draw for fun or that isn't for a specific poroject

b) all i want to draw recently is p*rn (and i really do not want to censor that but the tumblr algorithm has locked my blog down for content enough times at this point) or at least horny or something that at least has bare titties and the occasional bare pussy so either i have to just give up on it i guess or post a little preview piece of it here and link somewhere else and.... like twitter is in a dire state at this point, don't exactly have a following there, it has been well, well documented how the algorithm is actively like against you even if you're like some kind of da vinci level maestro. but it's basically my only option now for most the stuff i do want to post to even get stuff our there. and i did recently get a bluesky acc but you know it's a not very active website and also invite-only. so, not a lot of options.

and you know, my posting here has always been kinda sporadic and i have tried to make stuff more frequently and have a bigger output but out of all the time i spent drawing which frankly is a lot, very little of it ends up as like. a properly fully rendered piece that i can show and i would occasionally post stuff here from my sketchbook that i find at least a little bearable to look at but that also actually takes effort and is difficult to make it like. visually presentable.

a while back tumblr has informed me that this blog has turned 10 years old, which, whoof, huge crisis over the passage of time and also how many grand ambitions i had with this blog when i made it and how little of it i achieved in those 10 years and genera feelings about my own skills and growth and where i stand in life because of my very sporadic posting and my slow pace of work which has gone from like. once very two months to 2-3 times a year and now even when i feel inspired i don't know how much of what i make is even going to be here. recently i've been reevaluating if i even have what it takes or if i even should be an artist with the pace at which i work and how little of anything i complete not to mention how i feel about my own art skills in general, but you know given i've been stubborn about wanting to do this since childhood and i literally just cannot concieve with my brain of doing anything else in life. and on top of that i'm too much of a stubborn spiteful bitch not to keep pushing because i can't let the evil malicious gnome trying to take me down win, so this is something i'm figuring out over time.

anyway i did somehow manage to get 320ish followers in that time, give or take those that are either bots or inactive, and most of you probably followed me for stuff i'm either not super into right now or don't post anymore so you're probably not getting your follow's worth if you look at it practically, you might not even know or remember who i am or what you ever followed me for because of how long its been and how sporadic i am. but i guess i just want to say i know i don't have a lot to offer on this blog compared to a lot of other artists in terms of quality or quantity, which hopefully that will change one day in the future because i am trying to figure out how to do this all better, so thank you all who did follow and are still following and are sticking around despite all of [waves hands] all the things i described

[skewbforty]

I've decided

It's time to let go of being a fan of one of the biggest franchises I'm a fan of.

It shouldn't have taken me this long to decide this but I'm just not into Pokemon anymore. Don't get me wrong, the early games will always have a place in my heart, Pokemon Crystal was (arguably) my first ever video game but…

There are times when you should just let go. I'm just starting to hate being a Pokefan for a multitude of reasons. First off, tho they're not my friends anymore, I was so sick of being insulted and belittled for being a Pokemon fan by obnoxious Sony Ponies and fun haters. So what if Sword and Shield was their worst yet upon its release? I enjoyed it. But then I get to the other reason I dislike being a fan. The more the greedy company go down the line of "How far can we push this quantity over quality attitude", the more I start to think those aforementioned obnoxious people… Are ultimately right about some things. I think the real nail in the coffin was about an hour ago when a YouTuber who's one of the biggest (reasonable) Nintendo fans out there… Himself admitted Pokemon has serious problems now. And he's very pessimistic that things will only get worse. That's drama I simply don't want to be a part of.

I'm not gonna change my logo or anything, which I'm aware has a Gardevoir head emblem in it. I may continue my Pokemon playthrough series in some form, tho it's proving to be problematic right now for unrelated reasons. But I really don't have any urge to purchase another game from them. I'll probably just settle for the fact that the series, at least in my eyes, ended with the storyline in BWB2W2. I may get another game if it really freshens things up and more importantly does well. But as is, I think it's game over.

[weirdocat83]

Younger Gen Z here, maybe my view is just very skewed from having a small friend group, but almost nobody really talks to each other anymore. Pretty much everyone is terrified of fake friends or judgement and almost nobody has proper social skills (both because of internet and quarantine) plus everyone is supposed to be “preparing for the future” all the time. Those that do have extracurriculars tend to have really tight schedules to the point where I wonder how some of them are even functioning much less getting straight A’s (sometimes I wonder where they’ll be in the future). Don’t get me wrong, wild things do happen every now and then but they aren’t super extreme. Yeah, kids vape/graffiti in the bathroom or every so often a fire alarm goes off or a fight breaks out but usually it’s just drama between friend groups, which, in a way is very sad. Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen people my age be in a large group and not have drama going on between them and I think that says a lot about how people make friends these days. A sort of quantity over quality. At least, that’s my opinion.

My personal experience doesn’t lend much to the conversation because I have been an observer without friends for a good portion of my life. Thus, I can’t speak for everyone. But I am a little thankful for that fact if only because I now realize a lot of things. 1) That people who won’t listen to you speak aren’t worth your time 2)The fact that it’s better to have a few friends to have meaningful conversations with rather than many who don’t get along. And I think those are lessons that many still need to learn.

I also think it needs to be said that the stress of school can be a little insane sometimes. Near the end of the second semester at school at one point I was talking to some friends about how stressed we all were and brought up the fact that at one point I had seriously thought about committing suicide because of how stressed and anxious I was. When I had that thought I realized that it was an unhealthy thought and distracted myself but when I brought that up in conversation there was a little concern, but mostly just a shared sentiment of “yep, that’s the school system and I feel that too.”

I’m fairly young but sometimes I feel much older than I actually am. I feel like I didn’t really have a childhood and I don’t think I am alone in this sentiment either. Several times throughout my life I’ve contemplated the fact that I’m just following the path someone else set for me, but is that really what I want? Can I even say no if it isn’t? And when does the monotony of endless tasks end? When do we get to be genuinely happy? Will that ever even happen?

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[sanooja]

 SEO Techniques and Strategies for Small Business

Introduction

Hey there! Ever wondered how some websites seem to just pop up at the top of your search results that’s no accident's good SEO at work. SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, is like the art of making your website more appealing to search engines like Google, Bing, or Yahoo. But SEO can seem a bit like a puzzle if you're not sure how to fit all the pieces together. That's what we're here to talk about today! Let's dive into the various classifications of SEO and how each one can help boost your website's visibility.

Classification of SEO

SEO can broadly be divided into three main categories: On-Page SEO, Off-Page SEO, and Technical SEO. Let’s unpack each category so you can understand how they contribute to a winning SEO strategy.

On-Page SEO

On-Page SEO refers to the tactics applied directly on your website to influence your rankings in search results. Here are a few key components:

Content Quality

* **Relevance and Value** First off, your content needs to be relevant and provide value to your readers. Have you ever searched for a pancake recipe and ended up on a page that talks about the history of pancakes but never gets to the actual recipes? Frustrating, right? To avoid this, focus on answering your audience's questions and solving their problems.

Keywords

* **Strategic Placement** Use relevant keywords naturally throughout your content, especially in key spots like the title, headers, and first paragraph. But remember, stuffing your content with keywords doesn't do the trick anymore. It's all about balance!

User Experience

* **Mobile-Friendliness** with more people accessing the web via mobile devices, your site must look good and function well on smartphones and tablets.

* **Page Load Speed* Ever clicked away from a site because it took ages to load? You're not alone. A fast-loading page not only pleases visitors but also pleases search engines.

Off-Page SEO

Off-Page SEO involves activities done outside of your website to impact your rankings. This category is largely about building credibility and authority through various means:

Backlinks

* **Quality Over Quantity:** It’s like being vouched for in the digital space. If reputable sites link back to you, search engines take that as a signal of your credibility. But be wary of low-quality links as they can do more harm than good.

Social Media

* **Engagement:** Although social media doesn’t directly influence rankings, it boosts your brand's visibility and leads traffic to your site. It’s like throwing a party and having excited guests spread the word.

Technical SEO

Technical SEO might not be as directly noticeable to your site visitors, but it’s crucial for helping search engine spiders crawl and index your site effectively:

Site Architecture

* **Easy Navigation:** Imagine a library with all its books scattered around. Hard to find what you need, right? A well-structured site with clear navigation helps both users and search engines find information easily.

Security

* **HTTPS:** Secure sites are the standard now. Not having a secure site (HTTPS vs. HTTP) could not only deter visitors but also lower your rankings.

Remember

SEO is not just about getting more visitors to your site; it's about attracting the right kind of visitors. Whether you’re a small blog or a big corporation, integrating these SEO practices with your other marketing strategies can make a huge difference in your online presence.

Conclusion

SEO might sound technical and a bit intimidating, but it's really about making your site better for people who are searching for what you offer. It’s a continuous process of improvement and adaptation to new techniques and algorithms. So, take it one step at a time, keep learning, and watch your website climb up that search engine ladder! "SEO is a journey, not a destination. It’s about continually improving and adapting to new challenges, and that's what makes it so exciting!"

[surveysand]

seven.

Have you ever cheated at a card game? yes. anyone who says "no" is lying, lol. Tell me what colors you’re wearing right now? navy blue and black. Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? yes. Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) i'm currently an adult. Have you ever felt like your heart actually stopped? yes.

Are you a fast runner? no. What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? i'll try anything. Do you have a “poker face”? depends on the situation, i guess. Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? yes. Do any of your friends shamelessly burp or fart in public? my partner does and it annoys the hell out of me. some of my friends do, too. When was the last time you had a good cry? yesterday. i cry all the time, haha. Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? yes. Have you ever had a “thumb war” with someone? many times. Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover? only once or twice, thankfully. If you need a job, will you take whatever you can get? yes when it comes to the job type. no regarding the pay, i need a certain minimum or else i wouldn't be able to afford my rent. Time goes by faster as you get older, don’t you find? yes. Have you ever had a panic attack? two that i can think of. Are you deathly allergic to anything? no. Have you ever had a mouse in your house? yes, my apartment has had a few. i hate them with all of my being. i don't do critters or bugs. Do you know what you want for your dream house? yes. Have you ever seen the movie the Notebook? no. If you download torrents, what torrent program do you use? i don't download torrents. If you go to school, will this year be different? just graduated from college. no school for me this year. Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? yes. Are you able to count to ten in another language? yes. Is there something you know you have to do, but haven’t done it yet? yes. Is anyone you know really religious? yes. Can you sing? i'm decent. nothing extraordinary, but not bad either. Have you ever read “Gone With the Wind”? no. Are your eyebrows naturally thick? i don't think so. they're average-sized i would say. Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair? no. Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? i might feel nervous, but have never gotten physically sick over it. i'm fine once i start talking. the waiting kills me. Have you ever wanted to tell someone how you felt, but never did? yes.

What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? disneynature african cats, the documentary i watched with my partner yesterday. i cried at several points, lol. Do you check your email daily? yes. Have you ever breathed in helium? yes. Do you try to be confident and positive about your future? yes, though i could definitely be better. When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? last week when i didn't get a job offer after i thought the interview had gone really well. Have you ever owned a garden? no. Who was the last person to text you? my partner. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? yes. Do you ever find yourself trying to be the referee amongst your friends? not anymore as my friend group has never really fought, but i always felt like a referee in my high school friend group. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? my old one did all the time. it still does when i break it out to play the sims 4, lol. Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow? no. Who was the last person to flip you off? no idea. Are you doing anything the day after tomorrow? no. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? my youngest cousin's birthday. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? yes. Do you make the effort to smile at people? not unless they smile at me first. Are you good at following directions? i guess. Have you ever just screamed really loud in an attempt to feel better? yes. Are you in any way, still a child at heart? yes. Quality triumphs over quantity, correct? yes. Have you ever danced when there was no music playing? yes. Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? a few people. From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? yes. Have you received a text today that made you go “wtf”? no. When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? no. Are you even feeling the least bit tired? yes, i'm probably gonna head to bed soon. Is there currently any caffeine or alcohol in your system? no. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? manual. i feel like they always worked better. Are your biceps at all noticeable? no. Have you ever seen a walrus? no. When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? no. my dog sheds so much that, despite any amount of sweeping, the second a piece of food hits the ground, it has dog hair on it. also, the ground anywhere is probably nasty, lol. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? yes. Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer? i wouldn't be surprised. When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? depends who it is. Were you single last Valentine’s Day? no. Do you tend to jump to conclusions? no. Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? yes. Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? yes.

[rileysramblings]

Epiphany [Part 1 // Chapter 2]

BIlly Russo x Unnamed Female Character

Summary: His ego hurt and his suspicions on high alert, he is in full investigation mode.

CAUTION IS RECOMMENDED - Warnings: angst, mention of sex, swearing.

Side Note: The response from the first chapter was insane! Thank you all so much for the love, I can’t even believe how many of you read it! So here comes the second chapter, I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as the first one. This is a Billy POV chapter, it was challenging to write and I’m quite happy with the result. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment or anything like that, let me know what you think!!

←Previous Chapter

Chapter 2 -- His girl

He had always been alone. He had gotten really good at it. He’d had time to sharpen this particular talent. After all, he’d been alone ever since he was a kid. It was almost an art form at this point. 

Almost.

To him it was more than that. It was how he survived. It taught him to be strong. It taught him to be careful who to trust. It taught him to be smart. He was alive today because of it. 

Of course he had friends, people he trusted - to an extent - with whom he had shared his life, or a morsel of it anyway. Frank was a good example. He’d trusted Frank more than anybody else ever. He had trusted him with his life when in the trenches. It wasn’t just trust too, he liked him. He loved him like a brother. He’d shared more with him than with anybody else. And in turn, Frank had opened his arms and had let him in. He had met his wife and his kids. They would go to the carnival together, he would make Frank Junior laugh and Lisa, little smartalec Lisa would always find a crack in his funny stories and sweet Maria would congratulate her while smiling fondly at him. Frank had made him a part of his life. 

Now, that story had a bitter, complicated and tragic ending but the love had been there. And the trust too. 

Women… Women were more complex. They needed more details, they wanted to meld their lives with his. He didn’t want that. He didn’t need that. He’d had relationships before, obviously, but nothing too serious. Frank always said that he would find a girl one day that would make him change his mind. “Quality over quantity,” he’d said over and over again. Billy had always chuckled at that. 

It wasn’t for him. He had always been alone. He was comfortable being alone. 

And no one would want him anyway. Not completely. He was too damaged. People never saw him, not truly. He was not what he looked like. 

Wait. That was wrong. Maybe it had been true at some point in his life but then the war happened, and the choices he made afterwards. No, it wasn’t like that anymore, who was he trying to fool? 

He was not what he made himself look like. That was the truth. 

His lies, now that was art. He had learned a long time ago how to manipulate the truth to provide him with leeway. At first, that was a way to survive when he was still in the system. Now, it was a way to arrive at his goal. It was almost his way of life. 

Special Agent Madani was a good example of that. The fact she was gorgeous was neither here nor there. She was smart, ambitious but most importantly, she was useful. He had only met her a couple of weeks before and already he had gathered intel that had Rawlins elated. 

Now, two weeks was not long but with his girl not responding to his calls anymore, Madani had unfortunately all his attention - well, all his free time anyway. 

His girl - His Girl - She wasn’t his girl. 

Just the thought of her made him twitch. 

He didn’t completely understand what had happened there. She was hard to figure out as it turned out. She was fun and he thought he had assessed her correctly but then, out of nowhere, she showed up to Anvil and disappeared minutes later never to be seen or heard of - by him - again. He had mentioned plans for later in the week when he would have asked about her visit but when he called to define the date, she didn’t answer. As a matter of fact, she stopped answering any kind of communication coming from him which not only pissed him off but made him suspicious of the entire relationship. 

Which explained why he was standing in a dark alleyway, watching his girl coming out of a cab all dressed up and entering a fancy restaurant. He scrunched up his face slightly as his first thought entered his brain. She was on a date. Or, it looked like she was on a date. He couldn’t trust anything she was doing now. He wouldn’t let himself. 

He hadn’t assessed her correctly. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. 

She followed the waiter to a table in the center of the room and a man stood up as she approached his table. Billy tilted his head slightly to the side as he couldn’t get a good look of the man but had a perfect view of his girl in that gorgeous dress. 

“Good evening, sir. Do you have a reservation?” 

The voice of the waitress caught his attention for a few seconds, enough time to smile and charm his way to the bar where his line of sight was largely improved. He had never seen that man in his life. Brown hair, light stubble, red tinted glasses, cheap suit, red tie. 

“Stay down,” Billy stated, his voice calm and collected, acting as there were no communication devices in his ear. His breathing was deep and controlled as his eyes did not leave the table in front of him. 

She bit her lower lip as she looked at the menu, a frown starting to appear on her face. Billy tilted his head slightly again but this time amusement was showing instead of frustration. If this was a date, it was not going well for Red. 

She chuckled and brought the open menu closer to her body as she leaned towards Red seemingly saying something about the restaurant being luxurious. No. That wasn’t it. He was too far away to actually hear them and there were too many people between them for him to get a good read.

 “I have to admit, I understand maybe half of this menu!” she said, or something along those lines. 

Billy smirked. His assessment hadn’t been completely false after all. 

Red chuckled, replying something about understanding a third of it himself. Billy’s gaze deepened as he looked at the both of them exchanging smiles, giggling. Now frustrated and irritated, Billy watched them stand up and leave. His shoulder twitched again as she offered her arm and Red took it as they exited the restaurant. 

Was Red blind? He better be. 

“On the move, stay alert.”

Billy followed them from afar, Red’s hand was still on her arm and they seemed lost in a pleasant conversation as they walked fairly slowly towards Central Park. 

He remembered the first time he saw her. She was sitting at the bar, drinking a beer alone. She had seemed lost in her own little universe, a little notebook placed in front of her, her fingers playing with a pen in her hand. He remembered how delicately she’d push a strand of hair back behind her ear and how she’d lick her lower lip before capturing it delicately between her teeth. Her foot had been swaying impatiently on the stool she was sitting on and her finger caressing absentmindedly the beer bottle in front of her, her mind a million miles away.  

His girl. Except not really. 

He inhaled deeply. 

They stopped in front of a small restaurant and entered under BIlly’ strict surveillance.

He could stay outside to continue his stakeout, having the advantage - and assurance - of seeing without being seen but he couldn’t hear anything. If this was not a date, if he had indeed read her completely wrong and if he was right to be suspicious, then he needed to hear the conversation. 

Billy gave his instructions and his man entered the restaurant, leaving a mic near the table she was sharing with Red before sitting at the bar and ordering a beer, not to look too suspicious. Billy's attention was absolute, his eyes never leaving them. 

“Work. She wrote an article on my boss… well ex-boss now, obviously.” She said with a chuckle, her fingers playing nervously with her napkin. 

“Oh, so she made you lose your job. That’s a nice beginning for a friendship.” Red replied smirking, his head tilted slightly to the side.

“What can I say, I’m weird that way, I love it when I’m forced into unemployment!” She joked, shrugging out of habit, forgetting for a second her date couldn’t see her. 

“What about you?” She asked, her eyes staring at him with a certain intensity that put more weight on Billy's chest. Had she ever looked at him that way?

“Same,” Red joked in return which earned him a giggle from her and an exasperated groan from Billy. “She was falsely accused of murder - We made it go away.”

The more he was listening, the more he was certain he had read her correctly the first time around. She hadn't lied to him. But, weirdly enough, the realisation did not help his current physical state. The weight on his chest was still pushing through and his breathing was beginning to get out of control.

If he didn't know any better, he'd think he cared. But he knew better obviously. 

She was nice, funny, charming and sexy. He had a good time with her, that's why he called her back after that first night, that's why he'd stay the night at her place, that's why he'd have breakfast the morning after on several occasions. 

But that was it. A good time. Nothing more.  

“Wow - Knight in shining armor action.” She exclaimed, raising her eyebrow in a suggestive manner forgetting again he wouldn’t be able to see her. She instantly looked worried he wouldn’t get the joke, or that she had just made an ass out of herself, as a light blush colored her cheeks.  

She seemed to like Red. She was definitely acting like it. She kept touching her hair, placing strands of it behind her ear every couple of minutes. She kept her eyes on him with that stupidly gorgeous smile plastered on her face. She freely bit her lower lip on a regular basis and her foot would sway nervously when she was speaking as if it helped her with the anxiety of it all. 

“To be accurate, it would be: lawyer in cheap suit action” His eyes were slightly misdirected from her face but his smile was kind and genuine.

“I like your suit.” she stated, her lower lip between her teeth again. Her smile grew when she saw the light pink appearing on her date’s cheeks. 

Billy's rictus was almost imperceptible. His eyes went from him to her to him to her again to finally end on the pavement. "Shit."

It was a date. And she liked the guy.  

Like she used to like him. 

Like he used to like her. 

Like he still liked her. 

His shoulder twitched as the meaning behind those words sunk in. He hadn't seen it coming. She'd snuck in little by little, day after day, night after night, smirk after smile and chuckles after giggles. Slowly, she had made a nest, got comfortable, got him used to seeing her, feeling her. 

And then, she'd snuck out. Without as much as a word, an explanation, anything. 

He wasn't sure if something had happened that he was unaware of. He would have noticed if anything out of the ordinary had transpired. Wouldn't he?

But now that doubt had entered the realm of possibilities, he wasn't sure if it wasn’t about him. Maybe he had done something or said something to deserve such a response, or lack of one more precisely. He wasn't the boyfriend type. Had barely ever been one. And he had never really been hers either. This wasn't the type of relationship they had shared. No. 

But they liked each other. Before her visit to Anvil, before they had gone their separate ways at her place, everything was good. 

He remembered that morning vividly. He had woken up before her, which was not unusual. She’d looked peaceful, the ghost of a smile on her face as her breathing had been slow and regular, her hair a lovely mess and he'd felt slightly guilty to move her hand off his chest when he had gotten up. 

He'd started preparing breakfast when she had appeared in the doorway only wearing her underwear and his shirt she had not bothered closing, the light fabric doing a bad job at covering her curves. 

He’d smirked as she’d rubbed her eyes sleepily, not quite aware of what she was doing to him. Not yet anyway. 

He had turned off the gas, keeping his breathing regular although it had deepened considerably since her arrival. But when his attention had come back to her, although his appearance remained calm and serene, his hunger had started to rise. 

She had said his name, her voice still hoarse from sleep and he'd had to hold a groan, settling for a hum instead. 

His hands had found her skin easily, his fingers delicately caressing her stomach as they'd made their way to her hips moving the fabric of his shirt gradually revealing more skin, more curves. As his fingers had been moving slowly but effectively across her skin, he had made her take a few steps back until she had been leaning on the doorframe.

As one of his hands had been left toying with the elastic of her underwear, the other had left her body to follow the opening of his shirt. “That’s mine,” he had whispered and he’d heard a whimper coming from her as his fingers had arrived at her breast. She’d taken a deep inhale and as she did so, his fingers - unmoving - had pressed lightly onto her. 

“I am going to need it back,” Billy had smirked as she had closed her eyes. He’d slid a finger under the light fabric of her underwear, caressing the delicate skin underneath and she had hummed, biting her lower lip. 

In a swift move, Billy had swooped her into his embrace, one hand firmly grasping her ass while the other guided her legs around his waist. 

When he’d kissed her, it had been passionate, hungry. She’d sighed against his lips and he had pulled her closer, tightening his grip. He remembered how she liked to drag her fingers through his hair and how he’d groaned trying to close the nonexistent distance between their bodies. 

There was definitely something between them. Electricity. Hunger. It was invigorating, drove him insane. 

He had to be honest. Their bodies pressed together, the feel of her heart beating faster and faster against his chest, her breath on his skin as he kissed her neck, her legs tight around his waist and her moans in his ear. He had thought it. He had hoped it. 

Mine.

And now, she was on a date with a lawyer in a cheap suit that she liked and that feeling in the pit of his stomach would not go silent. His shoulder twitched again.

He could still remember her taste, her lips dancing with his, her nose nudging his as she pressed her body against him drawing a growl out of him. She tasted like strawberries and lime. Flavored lip balm. If someone had told him he would miss a fucking lip balm, he would have laughed. 

Maybe it wasn't something he had done but something he didn't do, something he didn't say. There was a lot he didn’t say. He frowned as he saw her smile at her date. She looked happy. Did she look happy when they were… seeing each other?

The ghost of her body against his haunted him, his hand on her throat, her eyes closed and her mouth opened and him inside her, so deliciously inside her. Their bodies moving in sync, they knew each other, they knew what they liked, what worked, what made her moan his name, tainting his skin, scraping him raw. Her moans, bringing her screams, mixed with his groans as they collapsed onto another and stayed there, close together, not quite ready to part ways. 

The strawberries on her lips stained his skin, the sweet peaches in her soft hair contracted his chest and the verveine on her body blew his mind away. He could remember it perfectly still. Hell, he could almost taste it. 

He couldn’t think straight. 

He was tired. He didn’t have a good night of sleep in ages, adding to that Rawlins whispering into his ear and Madani’s investigation going forward, he needed to be clear headed. 

He heard her laugh. 

- strawberries - peaches - verveine - 

He clenched his jaw. 

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what happened, how it happened or why it happened. All that mattered was that it did happen and that he had a job to do. He had eliminated the doubt that she might be his enemy. She wasn’t. 

Moving on.

-

@blackbirddaredevil23, @littlebobree, @profoundme444

- 

Next Chapter →

[headspace-hotel]

Stop it! Stop it right now! I will not tolerate warrior cats slander in my dashboard. Fireheart can get it

Slander is, from me, a compliment, because it means a book left enough of a profound impression on me for me to be still bitching about it nearly a decade later.

And I don’t really even have it in my heart to slander Warriors; everything I say about them comes of a deep, deep bitterness at how unreadable they are as an adult when they were such a cultural MOMENT, a powerful, impression-forming phenomenon that is unlikely to ever recur again in my lifetime.

These books sucked, they just sucked so much, and I wish they didn’t and I wish it so much. Because they happened upon—perhaps by sheer accident—a few concepts, a few brilliant strokes of execution of those concepts—that were just so captivating, and for that reason the trash fire of all the rest of it will smolder forever in this bitter old heart.

Okay. So like. Do you have any idea how goddamn hard it was, in the early 2000’s, to find cat-centered media to enjoy? Cat hate was such a huge cultural Thing, to an extent that is unimaginable now. It was damn near impossible to find a piece of media—mind you, I was an autistic child with a special interest in cats—that didn’t portray cats as evil, assholes, a literal stereotype of what cats are like in the form of a single token character, or straight up kill or injure cats for comedy.

Also, animal media...in general, it was cutesy. Cutesy in a way that did not appeal to me at all. (There were exceptions, like the devastatingly fucked up Tale of Despereaux, which upset me so much as a young child that I still have yet to actually read the whole thing.)

Warriors was a game changer. Not only because it was about cats, but because it was so DEAD fucking serious in everything it did, so unflinchingly mature, un-cutesy, edgy and unironic. As flawed as these books were they annihilated the basic tests of a good children’s book in that they took their audience SO seriously.

Like honestly, these characters were adults. They lived in an adult world, with adult concerns and adult conflicts, and the story as told did not put this in a perceptibly “child-friendly” lens. The conflicts centered around grief, parenthood, forbidden love, murder, war, leadership, and scandal. There were assassinations, there were illicit pregnancies, there were war crimes, there were suicides and stillbirths and mercy killings, and we could handle it, and it never occurred to us that we couldn’t, and for some fucking reason the adults who were buying the books or checking them out at the library for us never questioned it because they were cats.

And Warriors never pulled any punches with showing the absolute brutality of surviving as a warrior cat. Like if you read a significant distance into this series several character deaths are definitely still branded forever into your brain. (If you read Bluestar’s Prophecy, I’m so sorry.)

The naming system slapped. The nine lives ceremony slapped. Yellowfang is still the best character in anything ever and I love that rotted teethed old bitch so. Even if you didn’t even KNOW the word fuck, you knew that this cat could say “fuck.” But there is just...so much. That just sucks. The Erins really optimized quantity over quality when writing and instead of focusing on a few solid plots and characters, they wrote a bloated, sprawling series that could do nothing but collapse under its own weight as it recycled conflicts and character archetypes after burning the fuses out on the initial ones way, way too fast.

And here’s the thing: This will never happen again in children’s lit as we know it because it’s not the early 2000’s anymore and age categories for YA, MG and the like are so codified, and parents actually google what is in books their kids read, or at least publishers prepare for the circumstance that they might, and publishers actually have an idea of what sells in kidlit and YA instead of throwing playdough at a wall. Animal books still exist, but not in quite the same way. The Thing that Warriors was for us depended on the fact that we totally Shouldn’t have been reading it but we knew our parents wouldn’t dig too deep because they were about cats.

There is much more of an idea of what kids ought to be and ought not to be exposed to in general, and at what ages, now, and books are crafted to slip into these categories much more cleanly. (I have opinions about this because even though I was a sensitive kid, I internalized the idea that reading the “wrong” thing would do some unspecified Harm to me way too much and it became an Obsession like the O in OCD, but we don’t have time to unpack all those.)

And it’s sure as hell not going to happen in YA or adult lit. Do you know what garbage that would be? They would have to figure out what to do with the fact that the cats are having sex, for one, and there’s no good way to do that except let your readers, who are 12, Know(tm) that they are having sex but not say it. They would also have to figure out how to convince adult readers that a murder cat series is not silly, and the Erins had the right idea, perhaps the only right idea, by seemingly not even realizing in the first place that it might be considered silly. No one, no one, no one has that much hubris and sheer unawareness of one’s anything to write Warriors for an adult audience and be completely, unflinchingly unironic. They would flinch. Of course they would.

And yet. I keep toying with the idea of writing something similar. But I don’t WANT something similar, I want Warriors and I want it to be GOOD.