#either that or I’m like mildly concerned it might be covid again?

[raeathnos]

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[nonsensicalobsessions]

A Ruff Day

Author’s Note:

@catsladen wrote: Congrats my dear on your followers! That is amazing and so well deserved! Here’s a conversation prompt I found that I think you can do magic with: Person A: Why are you doing that? Person B: Doing what? Person A:Treating me like a person I picture either Tom or Loki, but I leave that up to you 😊 No smut necessary. Some fluff/angst mixture would be nice (Fangst? Anuff?) Thank you lovely!

After I wrote about having my lovely followers, Life came around and bit me, in the ass, hard. I was left with a large set of dentition marks and a massive infection known as “depression” in its wake. I say this because I know I’ve pretty much fallen off the face of Tumblr, and I am still clawing my way back. I do not have it nearly as bad as some, but I have it bad enough, and I will leave it at that.

When the events that I write about next happened in real life, I could not stop thinking about them, having worked in a veterinary hospital for three memorable years, and I ran the events through my head, over and over. I could see the events as they could have played out...might have played out...most probably played out in some aspects...and then this plot took root, and would not let go.

So, I apologize, @catsladen, for this is not the most original piece that I have ever come up with...in fact, it is derivative, and some may see it as a cheap rip off on a very real event. Still, it will not let me go, and as such, here it is. I present to you, A Ruff Day.

Working on federal holiday weekends in an emergency vet hospital always either dragged, or were so busy I could neither eat nor pee. Today seemed to be the former, and I was grateful for it. The techs were scattered around doing their busy work, while I closed myself in my office, tossing an oversized tennis ball in the air and catching it as I balanced on the back legs of a chair. I’ve done all my charting, there are no patients for me to check on. The last one through the door was a bulldog that came too close to a honeybee, and his already bulbous face swelled grotesquely. A shot of antihistamine, a script of Benadryl, then he and owner went off, right as rain. The airway was never compromised, all’s well that ends well...except for the bee, of course.

Kellie Ashe, one of the techs, came racing into the office without knocking, breathless. “You will no ever guess what is going on at intake!”

I jumped up, grabbing my stethoscope and mask (Thank you COVID) as I glared at her, “What is it and where is your mask?” The laws were quite clear, and stringent on this, and she had no mask on...and what was that twit doing? Brushing her hair and putting on eye makeup, what...? “Kellie! Focus! What is happening? Is it a hit and run, a delivery presenting badly...dog or cat...” I swear this girl has the brain of a flea...

“Tom Hiddleston is here with his dog!”

I look at her blankly. Nothing registered with me except one word—dog. “Kellie, what is wrong with the animal?” I asked, rushing to turn on the lights in the OR, making sure the X-ray machines were on and warmed up, the ultrasound is also on, and proceeding to the exam rooms, turning the lights on in one.

“It’s my turn to be the assisting tech so I ran back here to make sure you knew, it’s my turn not Claire’s, so I get to be the one in the room with you and Tom...”

I stop and freeze her with a glare. “Kellie, I don’t know what in the hell you’re blabbering about, but so far you have given me no information that has been useful to me. Therefore, there is no reason for you to be anywhere around me, the patient, or the owner. You can wait in the back.”

“What? But no...! I’m the one that ran back to tell you, I’m the one that should get to be in the....”

“If you were concerned with the animal you’d be there right now, but no, you were more interested in putting on mascara for chrissakes...get in the treatment room, I don’t even want to see you right now!”

I came to the front area to see a tall man, obviously the owner, who was obviously in a great deal of distress. “I don’t know how many he had..maybe one? It could have been two? And I don’t know if he chewed them, or swallowed them whole...” His voice was muffled by the mask we kept on hand to give to owners as they came in without masks, as they usually did, upset and stressed. Bright flowers covered the lower half of his face, but as I looked at his bright blue eyes, I finally understood what got Kellie in such a tizzy, and why there was an element of suppressed excitement that our usual emergency walk ins did not produce.

Next to him was a calmer woman, who was filling out some of the paperwork, and occasionally passing it to him to sign or for more information. “Tom, I really think it was only the one, and this is a bit over the top. One raisin isn’t worth all this...”

“A raisin, did you say?” My attention was now completely trained on the sad eyed chocolate spaniel at the feet of Claire Peyton, one of the calmest and best techs we had. She had already gotten a temperature and a weight from the little fellow, and was gently guiding the dog and owner into an exam room, while Liz, the receptionist, was explaining to the woman with the clipboard she could not follow us in because of the current COVID restrictions we were under. Only the owner was allowed in the exam room, because of the laws about remaining so many feet apart...and the worst part was, we couldn’t even allow her to wait in the interior waiting room, but she was welcome to stay on the screened porch we were using at the moment. She wasn’t thrilled, but she was accepting.

I quietly introduced myself. “Hi, I’m Dr. Diana Harris, and I’ll be helping...” “Bobby,” the man said quietly. “This is my...Bobby.”

“Okay Bobby, come here and let me look at you, you scoundrel...stealing raisins, are we? When did this happen, Dad?”

“Tom,” he said, distracted. “About ten minutes ago...maybe twenty. I saw that he was snuffling around the plate, and all the biscuits were gone...so were the little cheese squares...and there had been five raisins before, I am sure of it, and when I picked everything up, I only saw four...”

“Very precise,” I noted mildly as I listened to Bobby’s heart and lungs, which were both within normal limits, and made a hand motion for Claire to make a note of it.

“What’s that, that hand signal, what did that mean?” Oh, wow. Tom is very, very upset.

“It’s a signal I’ve developed with my techs to let them know that the patient’s heart and lungs are fine without having to take the time to say it, Tom,” I reply, keeping my life low and mild. The owner’s agitation is passing along to the little spaniel, who is looking around and panting.

“He keeps doing that, he’s panting and looking upset, is he in pain?”

“Claire, liquid charcoal according to weight please,” I murmur, and she promptly replied, “On it,” and she excused herself to open the door...only to find Kellie standing there, clearly eavesdropping. The look I gave Kellie had her scampering...but oh, it will not be far enough. Luckily, Tom did not notice.

“Okay, Tom, here’s how it stands.” I leaned against the exam table, Bobby quivering in Tom’s arms. “You did exactly the right thing bringing Bobby here, and so quickly. Raisins are extremely toxic to dogs, and the fact you got him here so fast really speaks to how much you care about this little guy...so give yourself some credit...”

“I told her...I told her I didn’t want them around where he could get to them...the Bobster is a bit of a food thief,” he muttered.

“Ok, so you’re telling me he’s a dog,” I drily replied. “Anyway, we’re going to take care of this issue right now. I’m going to take Bobby to the back and...”

“Oh no, can’t I go with him?”

Somehow, I saw this being his response. “Tom, we are going to give him some liquid charcoal. It looks like black sludge and it tastes like garbage. He isn’t going to want to take it so we are going to administer it in a way that he will have no choice but to swallow it, but there will most likely be some spluttering. This stuff is a bear and a half to get out of clothes so you do not want to be within spitting radius...and then this little charmkins, after he gives us a horrible stink eye, is going to proceed to vomit, probably in the messiest manner possible, just for spite and revenge, and I don’t blame him one bit. Again, you do not want to be in range! Then depending on what he gives me back, we can go from there. So no, I think it best you stay here...you can wait with your girlfriend, if you want, and I will be right back when I have something to tell you. I promise we aren’t going to hurt him, but we have to get this out, right away.”

“Right, right...don’t waste time talking to me...I’ll just...sit here, if that’s okay.” 

“As you wish, Tom.”

I took the leash from his hand gently. His hands were so cold, I felt pity for him. “I’ll take good care of him, I promise,” I said, and left him standing there, bereft.

Bobby walked with me well enough, and I took him to the treatment area to find Claire had already drawn up the appropriate amount. She quickly got the dog in the appropriate position, and I propped his mouth open carefully and quickly administer the liquid yuck and then closed my hand over his muzzle, blowing softly to stimulate the swallowing reflex. His eyes bulged at the foul concoction, and I tenderly explained,”Ah, such are the wages of sin, my dear thief...and it tastes like ass. Down the hatch...” He swallowed, and I gave Claire the unspoken head nod to release him and step back, which she did...as did I...and Bobby, outraged at this poor treatment, proceeded to sputter and spit like a world champion. Black froth went everywhere, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his outraged expression. “Yes Bobby, that’s right. But I’m sorry, it’s going to get much worse before it gets better...”

After a few minutes, he aggrieved expression turned into the anxious canine smile that presaged a good vomiting session, which was exactly what we wanted. I let him pace about in a small area, until finally he let nature take its course and released the contents of his stomach. Ah, joy, what every veterinarian struggled and sweat blood for, the contents of a dog’s stomach...or a cat, we’re not picky...and hey, I’ll take that over shit, any day...

“Good boy, there’s a good boy,” I soothed him as he retched. He was as miserable as you’d expect, and I kept smoothing my hand over his heaving flanks. I didn’t care about my shoes, they were already black, and just for this reason. Soon I saw a lone offender, and I called for a pair of tweezers to pluck it from the mess and place it on a paper towel. Claire was also consoling the sad little fellow, who was, I hope, reconsidering his evil ways, as I then took a tongue depressor and poked through everything he so woefully bestowed upon us. Yep, cheese...chewed up crackers...mmm, that sausage looked like it was probably expensive...but no other raisins. Just the one. Plus, it hadn’t been chewed, either, excellent! Best of all, it was caught up in all this other stuff. Perfect. Couldn’t ask for better, really.

“Kellie!” I called out. When she didn’t appear right away, my heart sank and my anxiety rose. She wasn’t...she didn’t...

“Hold the leash,” I barked and walked swiftly back to the exam room, and sure enough, I heard her syrupy tones inside...I saw red.

I opened the door carefully, to find her talking to Tom who was standing in almost a corner while she was yapping away. I must have had a look on my face like an avenging goddess, because she immediately began stammering, “I just thought...I could stay and keep Tom company...while you were working with Bobby...”

“Stop thinking, Kellie, it only gets you into more trouble, and it probably strains the gerbils,” I replied softly. “I have a job for you. In the back treatment area. Where I told you to be. Go there. Now.”

She turned towards Tom and said, “So, um...”

“NOW.”

She jumped and scuttled away like a crab facing a boiling pot. Oh, sister...

Tom was blushing and looking at his feet. “It happens all the time. Please don’t be too angry with her...how is Bobby?”

“Bobby is doing excellently and is a trooper. I will be back with you in just a moment. Just...give me a second.”

I flew to the back to find Kellie cowering in a corner. I took a deep breath, and spoke very, very quietly. “You are on such thin ice with me that if you so much as open your mouth, the displaced oxygen pressure will crack the ice and you. Will. Drown. Now. You are going to clean up all of this lovely mess to a surgical grade sterility. I will want to perform open heart surgery on this floor when you are finished. Are we quite clear? Nod if you understand me, Kellie, because you are on such. Thin. Ice.”

Kellie looked around here with dismay. It really was a disgusting mess, and she knew I was going to get down on my hands and knees and inspect the wretched baseboards before all was said and done. I was that pissed.

Claire asked quietly as we walked away, “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t think he absorbed anything. Tom acted too fast, the raisin wasn’t in any way chewed or showing signs of digestion, and it was mixed up with everything else. But pull blood for a CBC-SMAC so we can have a baseline for his kidney values just in case. Better safe than sorry. And then clean up this sad little urchin. I hope you understand now, young man, that crime does not pay...” He looked positively desolate, with his muzzle coated in the foul substance he had to drink and then give back. Activated charcoal really is the worst.

“I’ll make him presentable again. Back in a few.”

I took a deep breath and went to apologize to Tom. Oh, this was going to be fun...

I found him pacing the tiny room, looking at the posters instructing about heartworm prevention and feline leukemia vaccines. “Tom, I really must apologize...”

“No, you don’t. She’s young. It happens all the time,” he tried to brush it off.

“Not when I’m in this hospital, it doesn’t. I’d already given her explicit instructions because she was star-struck, and I will not have it. When someone comes in our door, I don’t care who is on the end of the leash, or holding the carrier. It is irrelevant. What matters is the animal. I give the same treatment and quality of care to the cat from the post office as...well...”

“The dog of some poncy actor,” he concluded wryly.

“Hey, I kinda like some of that poncy actor’s work, so less of that,” I griped, as I blushed and rubbed my forehead, mainly to hide my embarrassment. “Bobby came through wonderfully, and you were right, it was only one raisin...and some crackers, cheese, and what looked like some tasty cold cuts as well. What is great is the raisin wasn’t bitten into or showing any signs of digestion, and as it was caught up in his other ill gotten gains, I think it is safe to say he really got lucky...that, and the fact you acted so quickly. Normally, we’d be talking about having to administer fluids, and have him stay at least overnight to make sure his kidneys were not showing any adverse effects...yes, it is that serious. Especially for a little fellow of Bobby’s size. But he should be fine. I want you to make sure he has access to lots of water. I am having a full blood panel pulled to get a baseline of his kidney values now but that is really just a precaution for when you bring him back to his regular veterinarian...”

“You can’t see him again? He hasn’t needed a vet since we’ve arrived, and I never anticipated having to stay as long as we have...but what if he gets sick, or needs his vaccines updated, can’t we come back here...?”

“Tom, this is an emergency vet hospital, I’m only here on the off hours. My clinic is...well, not here,” I floundered.

“May I have your card, then? I’d really like for you to keep overseeing him...continuity of care, you know,” he trailed off.

“Uh, sure...” I fished one out of my lab coat pocket and gave him one. He looked at it and said, “What should I be looking for, what if he starts getting ill again?”

“Tom, I really don’t think...”

“I can bring him back here, I suppose, I just want to know what symptoms...you said kidney damage...”

“Tom, kidney damage isn’t something you can readily observe...”

“But what if he starts getting that look again, and starts pacing, maybe he’s in pain and can’t tell me...”

“Tom.” He stopped rambling and I held my hand out for my card. Like a child, he held it to his chest. “No, please, I’ll stop...”

“Just give me the damn card, will ya?” I all but yanked it out of his hand, and wrote something on the back. “That is my private cell number. Do not call it, ever! I hate phone calls! Text me. I promise I will lose the cell number you send it from. If you have any questions you can send me video or photos or whatever. Text me...whenever. But keep in mind he picks up on your cues and if you are nervous, he gets nervous. If you are excited, he gets excited.”

He looked at it incredulously, and before he could protest, I waved it off. “Just don’t...I did the same thing for Mr. Puddles.”

“Mr. Puddles,” he repeated dumbly.

“The post office cat...urinary tract infection...anyway.”

Those bright blue eyes stopped staring at the floor impaled me, and said abruptly, “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Treating me like a person.”

I looked at him steadily and replied, “Because to me, that’s what you are...you’re Bobby’s person. And...well, I know you probably weren’t supposed to stay here this long. You most likely want to go home, be with your family, what is familiar, and god knows what you are living in, some hotel or something suitably sterile...Right now, we all want to hold onto our loved ones a little bit tighter, a little bit closer. I can tell that for you, that’s Bobby. You love him a lot, and take great care of him, even to taking him to an emergency vet on a holiday weekend when the weather is gorgeous and your girlfriend says maybe you could just stay home.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Huh?” Such was my elegant reply.

“No, she’s wonderful, and we’re very close, but it’s not...we’re not...”

I hold my hands up in the air. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything to me...”

 “No I just, erm...”

We spent time admiring the floor when Claire came back, with Bobby cleaned and even faintly smelling of grooming spray, as well as being freshly brushed. 

“Bobby!” Tom cried out, and even though I could not see his smile, I could hear it in the real joy in his voice. Bobby wriggled his behind and danced as he all but leapt into his master’s...excuse me, person’s arms.

“Well, that should settle everything,” I smiled.

“Just a moment.”

I looked up at Tom, confused. He sounded almost stern.

“I think Bobby and I could use some photographs to commemorate the great care that he received here...for our scrapbook.”

“Scrapbook? Really, Tom?”

“Instagram,” he immediately amended.

The buzz that went through the building, I swear was palpable. Of course, I even allowed Kellie to get in the photo, because I am not that bad...and if her scrubs were stained with dog vomit, well, you couldn’t really see. Much. And of course we all had to keep our masks on, so I personally thought it was the dumbest idea I’d heard in a long time, but I wasn’t going to go against the idea. I might have found three of my tires slashed and my favorite coffee mug broken, if I had...and I really like that mug, plus tires are not cheap.

Everyone took their photos, hugged Bobby, gave Tom an elbow bump, and he, Bobby and Not-Girlfriend went on their way...then I went back to my office, made sure everything was documented, and went back to my oversized tennis ball.

I thought everything was over. I could not help was smiling, despite myself. Not too shabby of a way to spend a holiday weekend, making a movie star dog’s throw up...this is why I went through all those years of school, I laughed at myself as I sat down with my frozen pizza and lemonade. I even made a bag of popcorn.

Then, at about ten o’clock, my phone buzzed. I picked it up, expecting it to be my mother, who sometimes forgot about this thing called “time zones” since she moved to Arizona...

Instead, there was a photo of a happy, smiling man, without a mask, and his happy, smiling dog. A text read, “To my favorite doc: Thanks again for helping me. Telling dad all about how the wages of sin taste like ass.”

I winced. I had no idea he’d overheard that.

So I sent a photo back of me. Without my mask, or makeup, or getting a hairdo, because in front of me was the best makeup job ever—my Corgi, Cheeks.

The attached text said, “Stop licking it then...and she says you are very welcome. I don’t know what you did, bro...but check your balls.”

The phone buzzed yet again, this time without a photo, “Thanks a LOT. Now I’m really in trouble...! TH”

“Sorry. Cheeks is still sore over that one. It happened about two months ago and he is still telling the world what a horrible human I am. DH”

“Bobby wants to know...perhaps Cheeks would like to get acquainted and play sometime soon? The dog park close to your clinic looks promising.”

“Cheeks thinks that would be amazing. He is still very much a puppy and has a lot of energy to burn. He’d love a friend to tear around with instead of trying to wrap his leash around my ankles.”

“Maybe...we could have some coffee while they wear each other out?”

“That sounds like a fantastic plan.”

“Could we say...9:00 Wednesday morning?”

“Yes, I’d like that. I’ll be the half asleep one with the hyperactive pooch, I won’t have hours until one o’clock that afternoon.”

“I’ll be the tall one...wearing a mask that is not covered with flowers.”

I laughed out loud.

“I think we will find each other well enough.”

There was a brief pause, and then, “Yes, I think we have. Goodnight, Cheeks, and Diana.” 

“Goodnight, Bobby and Tom...it’s been a ruff day.”

“...I can’t believe you said that.” 

“XD woof.”

Tagging all my littermates: @catsladen, @villainousshakespeare, @winterisakiller, @vodka-and-some-sass, @yespolkadotkitty, @just-the-hiddles, @hopelessromanticspoonie, @theheartofpenelope, @sabine-leo, @wegingerangelica, @ciaodarknessmyheart, @wrathkitty, @rhemasky, @sourpatchkidsandacokecan, @redfoxwritesstuff, @the-insomniac-cat2, @alexakeyloveloki, @myoxisbroken​, @toomanystoriessolittletime​, @ladyfluff, @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi​

[blogofori]

This has been bugging me and stressing me out on and off since March, so I’m going to vent here.

So, there was this point in mid-March where my mom and dad got really fucking sick for two weeks. It took them several months to recover all the way. I’m like 50/50 on whether or not it was COVID. There were like, four separate sources that they could have gotten sick from that each have different chances of having been COVID. 

I’ll  list them from least to most likely to have been COVID. The first possible source was me, getting it from school maybe. This happened during a week-long break from school, but for a couple days I was sick with mild exhaustion and a runny nose. Since there were none of the classic COVID symptoms and runny nose is one of the few things that COVID doesn’t really cause, I’m going to assume that was a cold and if I had COVID, it was asymptomatic (I was 17 at the time, I am currently 18, and my only pre-existing condition is asthma, so that’s not an unreasonable assessment). The next possible cause of the disease was my mom. She works for marketing in Boeing, specifically in dealing with foreign airlines, so her and lot of the people she works with have to travel internationally a lot for work. That said, I don’t recall hearing anything about any of her coworkers getting sick around the same time she did. All of that said, both of these instances have some credibility by virtue of us living around Seattle, which got hit by COVID a little bit before the rest of America did because we have a high Asian population, so more people were going to an from China before COVID made it big world-wide. We also had an outbreak in a retirement home that was probably about a 20 minute drive from where I live, so COVID was definitely around where I live for at least a few weeks before lock-down orders started. The third candidate was my aunt, who was visiting from San Diego shortly before my parents got sick. Mom said she said she was feeling a bit sick before visiting. Considering I don’t know anything about the symptoms, she’s over 50 and obese, and it didn’t sound like she got super sick, it’s a huge not enough information, never will get enough information to guess. Then there’s my sister, who almost definitely had COVID. She has half public half private school. The private school was run by this jackass guy, who decided to ignore the CDC’s guidelines at the time to not travel to China for nonessential stuff. A bit later, there was an outbreak of people getting sick at her school and one of the teachers tested positive. While my sister did not get tested, she did get sick and was definitely exposed. That said, it’s still possible that she got COVID and didn’t spread it to anyone in the family because my family fucking hates each other. Like, the average amount of time per day I was spending within even 10ft of any given family member was around 30 seconds, and my sister’s even more cut off from everyone than I am. To the point where I didn’t find out that she was even sick in March until she told me about it in July. Given all of that, my sister’s in middle school and my parents had to drive her around a lot, so there’s still a very good chance they got sick from her. I’m also not 100% sure on the timeline of when she got sick vs when mom and dad got sick, but it was probably within two weeks of each other considering all of this happened in the same month. There’s also the point that mom and dad both tested negative for the “did you have corona” test, but those tests aren’t very consistent and they got tested in July, so it’s possible that they got two false negatives (my sister and I did not get the test).

The reason this is bothering me so much, other than my desire to just know, is that there was an unusually high amount of placing being gone to during the time period that people were sick. First of all, when I was first getting my cold symptoms, it was right at the start of a one week break for school. Normally that would mean I’d spend the entire week hanging out on my computer in this one isolated corner of the house, but not this week. This week my aunt and cousin were visiting for a few days. I largely didn’t do all of the outdoors stuff my dad was trying to force on me because I don’t like that stuff, I don’t like being around him, and I didn’t want to potentially worsen the cold and get more annoying symptoms. But there was one day where he spent fifteen minutes arguing with me and got me to go to the zoo with him and my aunt. It wasn’t a particularly popular zoo, but it did get people from places like New York, California, and so on. Anyways, that’s the amount of out that I was while symptomatic with cold. My parents didn’t start getting sick until after my aunt returned home. She said she did not get sick afterwards when I asked her about it. My mom decided to keep her distance from me when she realized she was sick. This might have been because of COVID news, it also might have been a reaction to January where everyone but me got sick except me because I told them I was quarantining. Either way, I didn’t get any symptoms of anything besides the cold. My dad also got symptoms. During the weekend, he asked me about my symptoms. I told him I had lighter symptoms than he had and they got worse when he made me go to the zoo. So he took that as validation that it was ok to teach children skiing, and to take my mom with him. Mom said she spent the entire time in the lodge laying down, probably coughing like crazy, and trying to keep people away from her. Afterwards, dad drove to Spokane, a town that’s about a day’s drive away. Dad still claims that he did nothing wrong, but at the time, I was mad at him because for making his “flu” worse for himself and mom, but the entire thing gets so much worse if he actually had COVID. Side note: I did bring up that I was upset with him for worsening his flu and that he shouldn’t have done that, mostly because I brought it up with my Therapist, who looked legitimately shocked and mildly horrified when I mentioned that to her because going skiing while sick with anything is a terrible idea. Anyways when I brought it up, dad claimed that he probably did have COVID but it’s ok because “children aren’t affected by it.” In July, I again brought up how that was a horrible thing to say, and he dismissed me by saying “it was a different time” and “I was already wearing a mask because I was skiing so it’s ok.” My mom got super sick after that and couldn’t really leave the couch or bed. That left me largely in charge of the food. I can’t cook. It’s something I probably should work on, but stuff like working with meat makes me anxious, and waiting for food to cook is boring and tedious. This is relevant because I decided to repeatedly bring food home while she was super sick. This was when the CDC was specifically telling people not to wear a mask, so I wasn’t wearing a mask. I was seeing the food people face to face. The only silver lining here was that people were beginning to worry about corona and I was showing up at the food places kinda late, so the places were eerily empty. Mom also had a work trip coming up where she was supposed to go to Ethiopia and Poland to meet with a bunch of people from a bunch of different countries. She went to the company doctor, but they didn’t test her or anything and just had her go even though she was pretty clearly sick with a cough and fever (it might have just been a cough by the time she went). So, Boeing did endanger the lives of several people they’re supposed to be working with. My dad got back home before she left, he doesn’t like to cook, so we were still eating out. We also ended up talking to a friend and trying to schedule a trip to Japan in July for the Olympics. He was still coughing. The friend was with his dad, who has a scarred lung and works in data science. That’s about when corona went on my radar as something to look out for. Meanwhile, during the week, my sister’s girl scout troop (I think?? It might have been something else) went on a field trip to Washington DC and into the White House. I’m still a tad disappointed that she didn’t infect the president then and there. Apparently one of the people who was supposed to go on the trip was too sick to go because of stomach issues or something. 

All of this is bugging me because I can’t shake off the feeling of guilt, anger, fear, confusion, and hurt from that week, even though it’s been over 6 months. If we had COVID, which is entirely possible, how many people got infected? At the time, my perceptions of COVID were more or less “oh, I guess it isn’t food poisoning” because that’s how little attention I was paying to it when this happened. I know a lot of what happened here wasn’t my fault for a variety for reasons and, by now, whatever I  did probably only have negligible affects on the pandemic even worst case scenario, but I can’t shake that feeling of guilt. I don’t understand why. I can’t shake the feeling of anger because no one has showed me much empathy or sympathy or such on the matter, the best I’ve gotten is people telling me to try and get over it. Which is on a scale between concern and defensiveness. Because of that, I can’t get over the anger I have towards my dad. Which is so exhausting that I can’t even be angry at the teacher who caused a COVID outbreak in his school or Boeing. The Boeing thing in particular probably should have been reported somewhere because what they did was horrible and objectionable, but now pretty much no one will know. I can’t get over the fear that someone died because of me or my family. The best I can do is remind myself that there is no proof that we even had COVID in the first place, but that uncertainty is also scary because I don’t know the consequences of my actions. Whether or not they were likely to have had serious negative repercussions or should just be taken as a warning. A warning that I haven’t been able to get my family to take. I can’t shake the confusion because I’ll never know for certain whether we even had COVID or just really bad luck with the flu. And I can’t get over the hurt because every time I’ve tried to even address it, I’ve just been told to shut up or get over it. 

The week or so after realizing that COVID is, in fact, a thing, my mind was racing in contradictory directions. It was painful just from the whiplash alone. The reactions from my teachers ranged from one teacher trying to circumvent the rules trying to protect from COVID to another teacher declaring it’s the apocalypse and demanding all students stay away from her (which was worsened by some students intentionally triggering her anxiety by breathing on her, which is fucked up for multiple reasons). There was also a lot of uncertainty around the school because the district’s policy regarding COVID was it wouldn’t shut things down unless someone tested positive except there weren’t any tests available. It was worsened by a story on the news regarding a neighboring district where someone did test positive, but they didn’t find out until right when they were enter their school’s building. That lack of available testing also meant that the case numbers counted were almost definitely an underestimate. My mom was on her work trip, which left me with my dad. He was beginning to claim that COVID couldn’t have been that big of a deal because people probably already got it in the masses and his and mom’s case “wasn’t that bad.” Remember, they were both basically bed ridden for at least a week, and it took them months to fully recover from the coughing. That’s bad. The amount of emotions I was feeling were overwhelming, one day I would switch between joking about “spreading the plague” and being terrified of doing exactly that, the next day I’d barely have the energy to feel anything. Then I found out that my therapist came down with a fever, and I lost contact with her (because I couldn’t figure out how to get the online stuff to work after the fact). My thoughts on my parents would fling between “I want to protect them at all costs” and “I hope they die” in under a day, and it would continue swinging back and forth like that for months before I lost the will to care anymore. 

The other day, I broke down in tears because I thought I might have a cold and it made me think of that week, or those few weeks. Turns out, I don’t have a cold, I just had a runny nose for three seconds. Every time I’ve tried to talk about it, I’ve been told to work it out or try to get over it, but I can’t do that on my own. All I can really do is try not to think about it until it comes crashing down again, but I know that’s impossible to maintain.

[auburnfamilynews]

Do any of ya have the guts to play for blood??

With puffed out cheeks and incredible heartburn, we bring you the illustrious College & Magnolia staff picks for the 125th edition of the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry. Who will #BARNHARD? Who will BARN mildly? Who ain’t even barnin’ at all?

Auburn @ Georgia (-6.5) (O/U 44.5)

AUNerd

In my mind, this game is a true toss up. UGA will have the best unit on the field Saturday with their defense but I think they might also have the worst unit in their offense. Stetson Bennett looked good in relief. He took care of the ball and gave his playmakers a chance to make plays. Defensively, UGA was as solid as you would expect. As Auburn fans well know, it’s never easy to beat UGA especially in Athens.

But I like Auburn’s chances this weekend. In my non homer opinion, Auburn has the passing attack to keep this UGA defense on its heels and at least move the football. Defensively, if the Tigers can carry over their 2nd half performance against a better UK OL they have a chance to shut this UGA run game down & force whomever is at quarterback to consistently make plays through the air.

The most important key to Auburn’s victory is the offensive line. Can this rebuilt unit give Nix the time to get the ball to his wideouts? Can they pick up that needed 3 & short to keep the drive alive? I don’t expect Auburn to chew the Dawgs up on the ground but if they can be good situationally that might be all AU needs.

Turnovers & special teams will be huge in this game. Both Arkansas & Kentucky had a chance to pull the upset but both melted down with some terrible turnovers and bad special teams play. I don’t see either Auburn or UGA having similar meltdowns but one big returns or one ill advised throw could be the difference.

This series has hurt me more than any other. So many times Auburn has come into this game with a better team only to leave beaten often by insane margins. I understand folks’ hesitance to buy into this team getting it done. After all, it’s not like Gus Malzahn has excelled in top 10 road matchups.

But I believe in Bo Nix. I believe in this Auburn defense. I believe in Seth Williams and these wide receivers. And I believe this team gets it done in a stressful but ultimately cathartic way this weekend.

Auburn 23 UGA 17 (Auburn wins outright; under)

Jack Condon

I know I’m not alone in feeling all tied up in knots this week, and maybe that means we all realize that this game is important. If you were privy to the College and Mag group chat you’d know that there’s a thought that this game could end up being a turning point in Gus Malzahn’s career. He’s failed to beat Alabama, Georgia, or LSU on the road during his tenure, and despite some excellent chances in all three venues, Saturday night’s game might be the best opportunity Auburn has had to beat the Bulldogs in Athens.

We saw what happened last week, and we laughed and laughed as they trailed 7-5 to Arkansas at halftime. Still, the most Georgia-quarterback-named Georgia quarterback turned up and put up some points in the second half and made them all feel a little better. Arkansas is no real threat yet, and still they had the Bulldogs on the ropes for much longer than Kirby Smart would have liked. Georgia’s got exactly one playmaker in George Pickens, even though he only caught 4 passes for 47 yards. The offensive line looked like a mess, and Arkansas missed some serious opportunities to roll up big plays against a defense that’s among the best in the country.

Auburn, meanwhile, turned the corner in the second half against Kentucky. The defensive line came to play (you’d know that if you studied your AU Nerd articles) and the offense kept pressure off of Bo Nix, whose trust allowed Seth Williams to bless poor Kentucky defenders. We need to see more out of the running game, and we need to avoid a slow defensive start that would give a tepid Georgia offense some confidence, but I think Kevin Steele’s more than up to the task.

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate admitting the small bubble of hope in my stomach, but I think that this actually is a turning point for Auburn and Gus. What an entire season usually builds up to will happen in the second week of the year, and I think that ripping off the band-aid will be beneficial for Auburn. We’re going to see Nix and Williams show a top team that they’re a top combination in the SEC, and we’re going to force a couple of turnovers from whoever plays quarterback for the Bulldogs. Those are the difference, and I think both Chad Morris and Kevin Steele get exotic Saturday night. Auburn 23-20 (Auburn wins outright; under)

Drew Mac

So, in case you didn’t know, I’m from Valdosta, Georgia. For those of you that don’t or have never lived in Georgia, this is my Iron Bowl. This is the reason I hate this game every year. Because winning it is fantastic. Losing it is so much worse. Therefore, since I have already started to have an evening beverage to calm my stomach for a game that is more than 72 hours away, I have recruited my good friend and selected brother Brad Tillery to give my prediction for me (because if it were me, I would say Dawgs 55-0 in the hopes that the it would trick the heathen Football Gods into giving us a win).

Brad: If you’re going by recent history, Georgia wins this game. They’ve won 8 of the last 10 in the series. Auburn hasn’t won in Athens since 2005. Even favored Auburn teams have played terribly against the Dawgs over the last 15 years. But history is just that: history. Auburn comes into the game with an experienced QB who protects the football, a plethora of talent at the skill positions, and a salty defense that should make life hell for whoever Georgia decides to put behind center Saturday. The Auburn offensive line could be a concern against the UGA front seven in the run game, but I expect Chad to lean heavily on Bo Nix’s right arm in this one. I also trust the AU defense to force a turnover or two as well against an inexperienced Georgia offense. Special teams should favor the Tigers here too.

A lot of younger Auburn fans may not realize that there was a time when Auburn dominated this series in Athens. It’s been 15 years since we’ve been able to pick some of the hedges as souvenirs. That streak ends Saturday.

AU - 20 UGA - 14 (Auburn wins outright; under)

Dr. Will

I feel like it’s been said before and it needs to be said again: This is a Must Win for Gus Malzahn. You have Georgia early on the schedule after years of having to worry about playing Georgia and Bama nearly back to back. Not this year. While you’ll have some in the stands, you don’t have a full stadium of people barking at you to deal with because of COVID. You’ve got the more experienced QB in this game as I don’t think anyone knows for sure what to expect out of the QB position for UGA this weekend.

And despite all of this, I’ve been burned multiple times when I try to Barn Hard. So this week, I’m taking the cautious approach.

The reason? Quite frankly, the 2016 game has scarred me. Never go into Athens (over) confident. Everyone thought for sure that would be the day Auburn would break through and win in Athens. Even Georgia fans that I came across in Athens before the game thought that. It didn’t happen.

This is your chance Auburn to shift the narrative in the league, to turn the heat up on Georgia in both recruiting and the shape of the SEC for years to come. To whip the dog crap out of Kirby on his homefield.

But the bottom line is this: Gus has to win the big one on the road before I can trust picking Auburn in this kind of game. So that said..... I hope like hell I’m wrong and we get the break-through win we have been waiting on for years but.......

Georgia 20 Auburn 17 (Georgia wins, Auburn covers; under)

Ryan S. Sterritt

This is the one you have to win if you’re Gus. No excuses. You have the established quarterback. The healthy offense. The good first week. With a 2-6 career record against Georgia, this is the one you Have. To. Have.

It’s going to be tough sledding for the Auburn offense. They figured things out in the second half vs Kentucky, and looked pretty polished in doing so, but this Georgia defense is loaded with talent. By my count, they’ve got four different guys in Tankathon’s Big Board Top 100, including two corners. Auburn is going to have to run the ball better than they did against Kentucky, which I think is possible, but not a given. I also think they know Seth Williams is a superstar, and they’re going to give him double coverage all day long. That leaves it up to Chad Morris and Bo Nix to figure out what the weak spot is. Are Anthony Schwartz and Eli Stove going to be left wide open? Will Bo need to run the ball? They don’t pay me the big bucks to figure that out, but I can’t wait to see.

On the other side of the ball, this is a chance for this defense to really show out. The Georgia offense looked wretched in the first half, and *fine* in the second half against Arkansas, but that Arkansas defense ranked 88th in the country in defensive SP+ last year. Even if they’re marginally improved, they’re still not good. Just like Seth will be the UGA defense’s focus, George Pickens is THE guy in the Georgia offense. I imagine he will see a healthy dose of Roger McCreary, but there’s no telling who wins that battle. Who knows what Georgia will be trying at quarterback, and while they have elite talent at running back, the ground game really looked rough against Arkansas.

Overall, I like Auburn in this one, and I don’t really see how Georgia is getting a touchdown in this game, unless you really believe last week was week one jitters. I think the Auburn playmakers get enough done on offense to post up a few scores, and something tells me whoever is taking snaps for Georgia is going to have a long night. Auburn breaks the drought in Athens, 27-20. (Auburn wins outright; over)

Josh Black

I think this game is one that we’ll look back on in 2 years and be able to make sense of where there are some potential program shakeups in the conference. The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry has gone from one of my most anticipated weeks of the year to something I dread.

Oh, you thought it was because of the feeling that we are going to lose? No. Nah. Not that. I can live with that. No, I’m tired because it is getting increasingly more difficult to find fresh, relevant content that appropriately conveys just how long it has been (14,518 days as of this writing) since Georgia last did something other than underachieve as a program. It’s a burden, along with consistently reminding Spencer Hall of how Wes Byrum is, in fact, pretty cool, that I proudly tote along with so many of you fine people. But let’s be honest…we all got a gift with the Braves winning a playoff series so that we could remind the world that their last playoff series win was 19 years ago, which was 21 years after Georgia’s last title. Like, what a blessing! But that aside, I’m really having to do some deep dives.

Like, I realized today that my house, which was built 30 years ago, is in a neighborhood that most definitely did not exist 40 years ago. I live in Birmingham. Basically my mind drifted to realizing that the entire bane of so many folks’ existing, the 280 corridor, literally did not exist because it was all woods and farmland 40 years ago outside of Lloyd’s Restaurant. Georgia’s greatest accomplishment is essentially that old country kitchen restaurant that serves a hamburger steak with gravy and onions that your parents took you to with your grandparents when they were in town after church. Sure, there’s fond memories there, but my God who needs that sort of gut grenade in this already awful year?

Anyways, let’s talk about the game. And let me go ahead and once again remind all of you that I am the absolute worst at this “Barnin’” thing y’all do. The world is against us and when we overcome the world it is because Auburn Jesus has smiled down upon us. I wish I could feel differently. I really do. But the only time I’ve ever truly felt safe was when I could see the joyous smile of Cameron Jerrell Newton.

Let’s get to some keys to victory:

For us to win this game Georgia is going to have to look less like ass than they did a week ago, but with some of that assiness sifting over to the defensive side of the ball.

Auburn doesn’t need to rush for 150 yards to win this game, but I do think the number needs to be around 120. We have to give the defense the threat of a ground game for us to get in positions with Georgia’s secondary that are favorable.

For Auburn to win, I am going to single out Eli Stove as a huge reason why. Everyone has spent all week talking about how amazing Seth Williams was last weekend, and everyone knows the legitimate threat Flash imposes on every single snap he’s in the game. It’s time for Eli to flourish in an offense that will let him loose. He’s the most likely to be in favorable coverages Saturday, and it’s high time he show off why he was a highly recruited kid for us like…a decade ago?

Like others here, I expect the right side of Georgia’s offensive line to be a liability. Plainly put, their run blocking last week was an embarrassment and lacking in fundamentals. That’s an advantage because it shows they’re missing much needed reps to gel in fall camp. Wouldn’t hurt my feelings one bit to see the refs have no reason not to throw the flag on some obvious holds like last weekend.

Knock George Pickens on his ass. We can win without doing that, but I wanted to get that in here somewhere.

Here’s the thing that sucks about this…I’m trying to go with my gut as opposed to my heart. And in these early games in a year where football is being played during a pandemic that cost the sport all of spring training and almost every team massive inconsistencies with personnel during fall camp, the most known and trusted commodity on the field Saturday is the Georgia defense. And it’s my belief that our offensive line will improve throughout the year, but asking them to give us 120 yards on the ground and keep that defense honest in week 2 after not having much time together as a unit this summer thanks to Covid is asking too much.

Georgia 17 Auburn 13 (Georgia wins, Auburn covers; under)

Josh W

I joked on twitter the other day that I wasn’t healthy enough for Auburn/Georgia. I get the feeling that Saturday night will be an absolute nerve-wracking 60 minutes. COVID robbed us of March Madness, so my body is not yet conditioned for ultra-high tension Auburn athletics. Last week’s game against Kentucky was a great warm-up, but if I’m being honest, I never truly felt like Auburn was going to lose. I hardly felt any tension at all. Saturday night will be the exact opposite of this.

I know this isn’t true for all of you reading this, but Georgia is my personal biggest rival. I’d rather beat Georgia than anyone else on the schedule (that includes Alabama! Shocking!) We have no idea what we will see out of Georgia’s offense. I don’t think it’s going to matter much; neither team will need much offense Saturday night. Look for a low scoring bloodbath between these two institutions. Hit the under (trust me) and look for Seth to have a 6+ catch game.

Auburn 19 Georgia 16 (Auburn wins outright; under)

AU Chief

@#$% Georgia Auburn 27 - Georgia 0 (Auburn wins outright; under)

Crow

This is the weirdest football season of our lifetimes and it’s a terrible time to have a game that somehow decides the legacy of a coach. That said, there’s a decent chance this game has a lot more riding on it than the usual high stakes of rivalry and bloodlust. If there is one thing I know about Gus, it is that he seems to have an uncanny ability to win the games he “needs” to win. Which is why he is going to go into Athens and come out with a 5 year extension. Auburn 29 dwags 14 (Auburn wins outright; under)

AU_Jonesy

During the Braves 13-inning marathon win over the Reds on Wednesday, my smartwatch had my “resting” heart rate at over 100 for about 2 hours. I have a feeling Saturday evening is going to be even worse. Auburn absolutely should win this game. They have the better quarterback. They have the better receiving corps. They have the better linebackers. Roger McCreary probably gives them an equal secondary by himself.

I was there in 2005, and I was there in 2016. I’ll believe Auburn can win in Athens again when I actually see it. Something will go horrendously wrong. Watch out for the return game. Georgia had excellent field position all day against Arkansas, and that’s something that could be marginal enough to change this game. My heart says Auburn by 14. Alas... Georgia 19 Auburn 15 (Georgia wins, Auburn covers; under)

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