#I’m only on book 2 but dang this boy

[thisbisexualbrainrot]

And I swear, I’m only cryptic and machiavellian cause I care

If this ain’t Rhys then idk what is

[viilpstick]

*poses* hey. Hi. They made me go insane so I wrote this at lighting speed. It's uh. Very long I fear.

Anyways this is the supposedly 5+1 fic I was talking about, this was supposed to be a "5 times Jamil rejected Damali, and the one time he didn't" but low-key idk anymore it just turned into it's own thing lol

I wrote the ending like 3 times anyway enjoy I was insane writing this 😍

•••

1. the so called study date

“Hey, Jamil.” Damali called, her head resting on her hands, eyes unfocused and a small smirk on her eyes. He stopped writing for a moment to look at his dorm mate in curiosity.

“Yes?”

“Not that I'm complaining, but next time you ask me on a date, please be sure to not bring Kalim with us.” Her eyes smiled alongside her lips and Jamil lifted an eyebrow in confusion, glancing at the sleeping Kalim beside him. 

You see, Jamil knew who Damali was, the daughter of the caretakers of the Asim’s treasure, trained to protect their riches and fight if necessary. However, he never knew more than that, only seeing her around the Asim residence and never actually speaking to her. Now that they were not only in the same school, but in the same dorm, and she was tasked to take care of Kalim’s treasures, the three of them spent an incredible amount of time together. 

“Damali, I'm not quite sure you understand.” He sighed, going back to his homework. “This is a study group to help Kalim. You offered help, that's why I let you stay.”

“Aw, you wound me, Jamil! Calling our study date a simple study group…” she faked a pout and Jamil’s eyebrow twitched. Was she dumb? What the heck was she talking about?

“I never asked you on a date. Stop fooling around.” He frowned, annoyed, and he woke up Kalim so he wouldn't have to listen to Damali speak, knowing for sure she wouldn't dare try to flirt when Kalim was awake.

The white haired boy yawned, apologizing right after for falling asleep. Damali smiled and shook her head, saying there was no need to worry. 

Jamil glanced at Damali, who was back at reading her book, her hand gently moving to read the words on the paper. Her fake smile never wavering. Weirdo.

He would try to avoid her from now on, not wanting to deal with her advances.

2- the poison testing 

Jamil stared at the food delivered for Kalim for a long period of time. It smelled incredibly good, it also looked extremely tasty, but there was a problem: it was a gift by a distant family member, obviously not made by Jamil himself.

There could be poison.

Jamil sighed, grabbing a spoon as he realized he had to taste test it. You know, he doesn't like his job in general, but moments like this really made him despise it.

Before he could grab a bite of the food, he heard footsteps, and looking behind him he saw Damali, walking with her walking stick around the kitchen, but basically going to the fridge by muscle memory.

Maybe if he stayed quiet, she wouldn't realize he–

“Good afternoon, Jamil.”

Dang it.

“Good afternoon.” He simply said, trying to hold back a groan. He was trying to avoid her, but now she was right here, and he couldn't walk away at the moment. 

She poured a glass of water for herself, taking a sip of it, making her golden beetle bracelet obvious. Jamil shivered. He didn't understand why she walked around with those, but whatever fits her boat, he guessed…

“What's that? It doesn't smell like your food.” Jamil tilted his head. His food had a specific smell to her? He wondered if he should feel honored or slightly concerned. 

“A distant relative of Kalim’s sent us food for a banquet. I need to taste test it in case there's poison.” 

Damali’s eyes widened and her lips formed into a smile, suddenly, she walked towards the sound of Jamil’s voice, stopping the moment she felt her stick lightly poke his feet. 

“Can I do it?” Jamil blinked. What? Why? And why did she look so… excited?

“There's no need. If something must happen to anyone it should be–”

“You don't understand, I’m the best at poison making, right up there with Vil Schoenheit.” Damali confidently explained, her eyes shining in the process. “I can also taste specific kinds of poison, and I'm relatively resistant to it as well! I’m the perfect taste tester for you!”

“You… can taste poison?” He asked, as if he didn't believe it. The girl simply nodded, extending her hand. 

“Now, will you let me? I’d lov–” she interrupted herself, Jamil caught onto the way she faked her serious expression. “I’d be honored to taste test for Kalim.”

He stared at her for a moment, before taking a bit of the food with a spoon and putting it in her hand gently, feeling how soft her hand was against his, he noticed a few callouses, but didn't comment on them. Her hands were small. 

“If you insist.” Better her than him, he thought. 

Damali slowly brought the food to her mouth, slowly tasting it. She seemed fine, but he guessed he should wait a bit, poisons didn't work as fast as to–

She spit out the food in the sink.

“What th–”

“There was poison in it.” Damali said, a creepy smile on her face as she giggled, wiping her mouth. “Man, I don't know what that was exactly, but it was certainly poison! Had a slight bitterness to it too… I wonder what it was…”

Damali put her hand on her chin as Jamil stared at her in concern. She felt his eyes on her and the girl completely changed her demeanor, smirking at the guy seductively, trying to hide what she just did.

“What? Are you worried about me, dear?”

“Gross.”

Damali giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. “You're cute. There's no need to worry about me, I’m fine. Now if you excuse me." she began walking towards the door, leaving the boy behind, extremely confused by her antics.

What.

3. the (ghost) bug buster 

Damali heard a knock on her door, she frowned still in bed, not believing someone was trying to talk to her at such an hour. She slowly got off bed, groaning in annoyance, and as she opened the door, the familiar scent of spices and flowers invaded her nose.

“I need your help.” Jamil said, uneasy as he hugged himself anxiously. Damali tilted her head with a smile and pretended to hide her body.

“Sir, we're not even together… I don't think I'm ready to move on to the next step yet.” She joked and Jamil clicked his tongue, grabbing her hand and dragging her somewhere. “Alright, ok! What is it then–”

“Catch that bug!” Jamil pushed her inside a room, and by the smell she guessed it was his. Damali sighed, standing there without doing anything. “What? Aren't you a lover of bugs or something? Go catch it, I can't sleep with that monstrosity near me!”

“Dear, I would love to catch it for you, but I'm afraid you forgot a very important factor.” The tan girl pointed at her eyes and Jamil made a noise of displeasure, clearly forgetting that important detail. 

“A-alright… walk straight very calmly… I think it's a beetle… it's not that far away and it's not walking.” the guy tried to sound calm as he instructed her around his room, hiding behind his door. “Careful with the table to your right.”

“A beetle huh… how big is it?” She asked as she did as she was told, crouching down and using her hands to try and find the bug.

“It's very big, like this hu- I mean, like the size of my hand!” 

Damali finally felt the insect, holding onto it tight as she brought it to her other hand and Jamil let out a gasp and a disgusted sound. He didn't understand why she liked bugs so much, they were so freaking creepy!

“Aw, please, it's hardly the size of my own hand, let alone yours.” She giggled. “Now, where's your window again?” 

“R-right… make sure to hold that thing tight, I don't want it jumping on me…” 

“Yes, yes.”

Jamil got close to her, but tried keeping his distance by extending his own arm, his eyes fixated on the bug anxiously. He held onto her arm and guided her to the window, telling her she could get the insect out now and Damali did just that, asking if the beetle had actually flown away, and Jamil confirmed it, letting out a relieved sigh.

“Thank you.”

“Nah, I'd do anything for my precious little snake.” Damali joked, a smile on her face and Jamil rolled his eyes at that, but couldn't help let out a smile of his own.

“Right. Uh… you couldn't grab your walking stick.”

“No, I couldn't.”

“Right. I'll guide you back to your room, then.”

“I’d be delighted.” She offered her hand and Jamil stared at it for a moment before gently taking it and letting her intertwine their fingers. He could’ve sworn that her practiced smile wavered a little and that her cheeks went slightly pink, but he must've been mistaken.

This was a game for her after all. 

And then, Jamil guided Damali back to her room, ignoring her jokes about sleeping there that night, and went back to his. Still, despite the bug not being there any longer, he couldn't seem to fall back asleep.

His hand felt cold.

4. the curiosity incident 

“What are you doing?” Damali asked, her head resting onto his shoulder as her hands were wrapped around his neck. At this point, Damali’s flirty and touchy attitude became a daily routine, and Jamil was very much used to it.

“Reading.”

“Can you read it for me, darling?”

“It's a book about the evolution of magical artifacts, Damali. I'm certain you'll find it boring.” He made a face at the overly affectionate nickname she called him. “Let go, will you?”

Damali pouted but let go, sitting next to him on the bench. They were in a relatively secluded area of the school, Jamil was shocked Damali even managed to find him, but then again, she always seemed to surprise him. 

Damali stayed quiet, her eyes unfocused, her legs moving slowly to occupy herself. Meanwhile, Jamil continued to read, flipping a page every once in a while.

“Jamil.” He made a small noise for her to understand he was listening, but kept reading his book. “What do you look like?”

He lifted his eyebrow and turned to look at her.

“Why do you wanna know?”

“It's you. I'm always curious about you.” She smirked, her face turning to the sound of his voice and Jamil blinked, fighting the slight embarrassment growing inside of him.

Get over it, Jamil.

“You're not missing much. I have long brown hair, dark eyes and tan skin.” He explained, turning back to his book. “Nothing special.”

Damali, however, whistled, catching him off guard and making him cringe.

“Your name fits you well then. It means beautiful, doesn't it?” She tilted her head, Jamil blinked at her.

“How’d you know that?” 

“I looked it up. Like I said: I'm always curious about you.” The girl chuckled, before gathering up some courage to ask: “may I feel your face?” Jamil scoffed at that, rolling his eyes, but he realized Damali was rather serious. 

“What, really?”

“It'd be the closest thing to seeing you. So yes.” She fluttered her eyelashes, trying to act cute. Jamil made a face at that. “Please?”

He sighed, closing his book and turning to her, deciding to give up. They were close ish anyway, and she didn't seem to have any bad intentions so…

“Be gentle.”

“With you, always.”

Damali lifted her hand, her fingers lightly touching Jamil’s cheek as her other hand did the same. Her fingers travelled across his face, going to his crooked nose, his thick eyebrows, each and every detail of his skin, and then to his lips. 

They both froze once her index finger made contact with his lips. Jamil stared at her, wanting to see what action she would take and if he should push her away or not. The girl lightly moved her finger on his upper and lower lips, smiling altogether, and soon left his face alone. 

“Just as I thought. You're beautiful.” Jamil bit his cheek, trying to compose himself. He scratched his neck and got up, grabbing his book while doing so. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Back to Scarabia. I need to prepare Kalim’s food.”

And then he ran away, tail between his legs.

5. The overblot talk

It's been a week since Jamil's overblot. A week since he showed all of his dorm members his true colors, a week since he told Kalim how much disdain he had towards him because of their social status, and a week since everyone was eyeing him like wolves just looking for an opening so they could attack their pray in hopes of getting the vice housewarden position.

It’s been a lot.

Jamil hated and appreciated Kalim at the same time for accepting his rage, going to the point of defending him from the other dorm members. For once, Jamil felt like Kalim was at least trying to understand his side… though he still had a lot of bottled up anger at the boy, justified or not.

Throughout all of this, a lot of things have changed, but one thing kept constant: Damali. 

He heard a knock on his door, then, he got up from his table, leaving his homework there until he came back. Upon opening the door, he found his gaze locked in Damali’s white eyes, and he quickly looked away, his face red in shame from remembering what he did during his overblot.

“You’ve been studying all afternoon. I thought you’d like something to eat.” She smiled, letting herself in, and Jamil sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her. 

“If I wanted to eat I could’ve just gone to the kitchen.” Jamil took Damali’s plate off of her hand, putting it on his desk and offering his arm to guide her around his room. She gladly took the opportunity to link their arms.

“Yes, but I assumed you’d just be way too focused on studying.” Damali sat down and the boy did the same, right next to her, taking one of the sandwiches she made and eating it right after. Damali did the same. 

He took the silence to get a good look at her. Damali’s ginger hair was, as usual, tied in a braid, parts of her hair tied in even smaller braids on either side of her head. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt, tied up around her neck tightly and neatly, giving him a full view of her arms, shoulders and back.

“I can feel you staring.” Damali said, a smirk on her lips as Jamil cleared his throat, eating another bite of his sandwich. 

“You're mistaken.” He lied and Damali laughed, he realized it was one of the few times her expression was genuine, finding real joy in being around him. “Why are you being like this, anyway?”

“Like what?” She asked.

“You're still the same even after I–” he stopped, taking a moment to think about his words. Was he really going to talk about this? Should he talk about this? He groaned, before ultimately giving in. “I tied you up and kept you basically as a hostage.”

Damali chuckled, letting the rest of her sandwich on the plate as she sighed. “Well, to be fair you weren't in your right state of mind. I do have to say, I am quite surprised you did that, seeing as you’re so annoyed with my behavior I was sure you would send me away with the rest.”

“Like you said, I wasn't in my right state of mind.” He blushed slightly, finishing off his sandwich. “I didn't know what I was doing fully. But I apologize for hurting you.” Damali smiled, a soft look in her eyes as she shook her head. 

“No need. I'm quite alright, really.” She rested her head on her hands, grinning at him. “The way you held me all protectively like that when you overblotted was pretty hot though.” Jamil choked on his sandwich, Damali laughing her heart out at his reaction. The boy hid his face in his hands as he groaned in annoyance. 

“Don't– do me a favor and never say that again.”

“What? I was just telling the truth, you know? Messed up maybe, but still hot.”

“You're insane. I don't even know how you were able to survive if you loved my overblot form that much”

“Simple. I prefer regular old Jamil way more.” 

His dark eyes looked at her in shock, a part of himself was expecting her to be smirking flirtatiously as she usually does, or holding that practiced grin of hers, but Instead, he saw a genuine expression: a soft smile, her eyes following suit as she tilted her head adorably. 

She meant it. Every word.

He couldn't deal with that right now.

“I– I need to finish this assignment.”

“I could help–”

“No. I need to finish by myself.” Jamil insisted, his face unbelievably hot as he urged her to get out. Damali made a confused face but let it go, deciding to let him be for the moment.

6. the revenge

Damali was clearly testing Jamil's patience, there's no other explanation as to why she was walking around in the same shirt she did last time, with her hair down and undone. No other explanation as to why she tossed her hair, trying to get it off her skin because of the heat.

When the heck had he started paying attention to how she looked anyway? He shouldn't care, he never cared. Why now? Damali clicked her tongue in annoyance, turning to Jamil's general direction.

"Jamil, would you be a dear and tie my hair for me?" She asked, almost innocently, but Jamil could see the hidden intent behind those words. His eyebrow twitched as he put the apple he was peeling down, taking the hair tie off her wrist as she happily turned, showing him her beautiful ginger hair.

She was certainly testing his patience.

Jamil's hands made his way through her hair, trying to get rid of any knots as gently as he could.

"A braid? As always?"

"Do whatever you want to."

With that answer, he got all her hair into his hand, styling it up and quickly taking the hair tie off his wrist to use it to finally finish the quick hair styling session. He secured her hair by pulling it inside the tie three times and let it rest on her back.

Her back. Good grief.

"A ponytail? You're a simple guy." Damali laughed, touching her hair lightly. Then, she tilted her head. "What do you think? Do I look pretty?"

Jamil stayed quiet. Did he really want to answer that question?

"Very." He simply said, catching the girl off guard. She cleared her throat, her cheeks slightly pink.

"Thank you." She said, then, tried to take back her confidence with her usual teasing nature: "if you think I'm so pretty, how about giving me a kiss?"

"Ok."

Damali blinked, her ears not believing what she just heard.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said: ok." Jamil repeated. He was also embarrassed, but he was tired of running away like a coward, plus, he would love to give her the taste of her own venom.

Jamil got closer to her, his hand on her chin, gently making her head face him. He knew she technically couldn't see him, but at that moment it truly felt like she did, like her white eyes were staring down at him, anxiously and curiously waiting for his next step.

And so, he gave it to her.

A quick kiss. On the corner of her lips.

Not on her lips. On the corner.

Jamil got up, deciding to walk away as he couldn't hear anything from Damali, since the girl was left stunned and confused. He smirked, for once feeling victorious against her.

After all, she should've been careful with him. Despite her love for poison, snakes could still kill.

CHILLS. LITERALLY CHILLS. OMG- THIS IS UGH????????

THE END BTW. I AM TREMBLING IN SHOCK- LIKE OMFG????????? SLAY. ATE ALL UP. COOKED, SERVED AND ATE LEAVING NO CRUMBS 😭😭🤞🏻

seriously damali’s attempt on jamil 😭😭😭 guy couldn’t catch a break- BUT THEN HE ACCEPTS HER KISS……. BUT NOT ON THE LIPS………… UGH. WHY JAMIL!!! *is not like i like you by static-p starts playing* ahhh, of course. Tsundere. (that song still slaps btw)

👏👏👏👏 beautiful, amazing, incredible. Now make them actually make out‼️‼️‼️‼️

[anadorablekiwi]

So as some of you know, I finally got Diluc after a long 2+ years of simping for him

And as i was chatting with Tellie about it, inspo struck

So here, have a half crack drabble about it 🤣

[while I obviously simp for Diluc, this isn’t intended as Diluc /Traveler ship lol. Moreso just me inserting myself in Lumine’s place 😂]

Drabble under cut~ (and a bonus scene that is somehow longer)

Kaeya smirked. “Took you long enough.”

“Diluc!!! Hang on, let me go get your stuff! I’ll be right back!” The Traveler ran off excitedly, greeting Gaming with caution.

Diluc huffed.

“Oh? Someone is jealous~” Kaeya said in a singsong tone.

“I am not.” Diluc frowned, eyes not leaving the Traveler. She collected various artifacts and materials, placing them in a box and happily chatting with Gaming, who was helping her.

“Here,” Kaeya offered. He held out a plate of mint jelly.

Diluc scowled. “What is this?”

“Mint Jelly of course! It’s your new signature dish~”

Diluc glared daggers at his brother.

Kaeya just laughed. “I cannot believe you. Jealous of a child? I would have thought the head of Dawn Winery to be above that sort of thing.”

“I am Not jealous.”

“Oh? Then why is it that you arrive the day after she gives your prefarmed artifacts and planned weapon to another Pyro user, with whom she is having fun?”

Diluc huffed. “Merely a coincidence.”

The Traveler came running back, box loaded with items.

“Here Diluc!! Your artifacts, and I prefarmed your ascension materials! I had originally prefarmed some talent books, but Mona needed them and you weren’t here yet so I used them, sorry about that. Oh! But today is the right day for the domain! So I’ll do a few runs of that right away! Here!”

She shoved the box into his arms, then retrieved two claymores.

“You have a couple weapons to choose from, both would be really good I think! I’ll be back again!”

Diluc smiled slightly. “Thank you. It is good to see you again, my friend. Don’t work yourself too hard for me.”

Traveler grinned. “It’s good to see you too! Don’t worry, I’m taking care of myself! Be right back!” And with that she ran off again.

Kaeya chuckled. “You know, she only sees Gaming as a little brother at most.”

Diluc’s usual grumpy expression returned instantly. “I’m aware.”

“Couldn’t handle another pyro claymore user in her heart, huh? Even if it’s familial?”

“Kaeya…” he growled.

The Cavalry Captain laughed. “Alright, I’ll stop. But only because someone is all geared up now.”

The two men stood in silence for an awkward moment.

Kaeya coughed, eyes studying the sky and pointedly away from his brother. “You know, Diluc, the Traveler isn’t the only one who missed you.”

Diluc froze, then the slightest curve of a smile graced his lips. “I’ve missed you, too, brother.”

~

Bonus Scene

“Sorry about that Gaming, I didn’t mean to take what I had only just given you yesterday.”

The boy flashed a bright smile. “Hey, no problem! From what you told me you’d been waiting for him for a while right? And it was intended for him anyways! I don’t mind.”

Traveler smiled. “Thanks for being so understanding. As an apology, i got something for you!”

The Traveler brought out a large box, labeled ‘For Gaming’ on the front in big red letters.

“Whoa, is this all for me?”

“Yup! Its all yours. And not just to borrow. Open it up!”

He opened the box, and his face lit up immediately. “Dang, how much did this put you out? You shouldn’t have! I promise to put it to good use!”

The Traveler smiled. “Turns out I had enough good quality artifacts to give you your own set already! I was planning on farming a set for you at some point anyways, and when I get the chance I’ll definitely see if I can get both of you even better ones.”

She retrieved a glowing blue and gold claymore from thin air, grinning. “This is also for you! Diluc liked the other claymore option better, so he said you can keep the five star!”

Gaming accepted the claymore, smiling from ear to ear. “Oh man, you’re trusting me with a lot of power here. But I promise you, its in good hands! I’m gonna ramp up my kung fu training and hustle hard, watch me!”

The Traveler giggled. “Don’t work yourself too hard now. We all need to make sure we’re taking good care of ourselves, or Kokomi will lecture us about it.”

“Right! You can count on me! Oh, and tell Master Diluc thanks for me! This is Dope!!”

“You can thank him yourself, I think he’s just right over there.” Traveler pointed off to the side, where Diluc was examining his new greatsword and pretending to not be eavesdropping.

He glanced up as they approached. “Hm? Did you need something?”

“Thanks for letting me keep the five star sword Master Diluc, sir! The sword is totally dope!”

“You’re welcome.” He then paused, a look of confusion on his face. “…’dope’?”

“Yeah! It means very good, or cool!”

“Ah, I see. Well, it was no trouble to me. This other sword Traveler offered me is just as good, so I decided to let you keep the one you had been using. Even if it is a little… less cool looking.”

“What do you mean, that sword looks epic! Is it magic or something?? How does it hold up so well?”

“Its a magic sword from the melusines over in Fontaine,” Traveler answered. It was a thank you gift for helping them out so much, and they poured all their love into it!”

She glanced at the sword, then giggled. “As did someone else I know it seems. I see Kayea has been babysitting Klee today?”

Diluc grunted. “Yes he has. She wanted to see this ‘super cool magic sword’ Kaeya told her about, and add some stickers of her own.”

“Aww, how cute! Are you good with kids then Master Diluc?” Gaming asked.

Traveler giggled, avoiding Diluc’s questioning gaze.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that I am, but Klee seems to have grown fond of me regardless for some reason.”

Traveler grinned. Hanging out with Jean and Kaeya will certainly help with that I’m sure.

“At any rate, now that you two have officially been introduced there doesn’t have to be any jealousy anymore!”

“Huh? Jealousy? What do you mean Traveler?” Gaming tilted his head in confusion.

Diluc glared at Traveler, although there was no heat to it. “No one was ever jealous that I know of.”

Traveler clapped once. “Good! Now come on Gaming, I want to introduce you to some of the others. I think you and Razor would get along great! You and Bennett would definitely need some supervision though. Oh! And Fishl, it takes a bit to get used to her but she’s fantastic!”

Diluc watched the pair go, ignoring the warm feeling welling up inside him.

He has enough children he has grown fond of already, there is no need for another (as if his heart would ever pay his wants any heed).

~

[o-wise-corvid]

Thanks for the tag @i-will-bite! This oughtta be fun.

1. Favorite OC

Oh boy. That is so dang hard. I’m probably going to go with Orin. She started as a self-insert but her story has really just ballooned into such a lovely, juicy tragedy that I can’t even describe. Orin is really the kind of person we all aspire to be. Loving, courageous, warm. She’s very invested in family, even moreso since her retirement as General of the Clones Rights Coalition. The sense of dread hanging over her is something so special to write. To describe nameless fear. It really pushes me.

2. Newest OC

Uhhh weeeeeeell… probably the Iktochi I’m planning. I don’t really have a place for her. But I like the idea of foreknowing, that subtle sense of heightened awareness that their species has. Also the idea for an Iktochi came from Darth Cognis, from the Bane books.

3. Oldest OC

This one’s easy. S’Lus Galenn, my Ishi Tib medical sage on Naboo. He’s a sweet old feller that I HC sounds like Shadow from Homeward Bound. He’s not actually an Ishi Tib, but a being wearing the form of one. He’s part of a cosmic race known as The Born. Beings of pure Force energy who existed before the galaxy formed. He’s very caring and concerned with helping those less fortunate around Naboo, those living in the slums hidden by all the grand architecture and waterfalls.

4. Meanest OC

Ithsa Dooku. What a jerkface. What a Kevin. What a waste of good genetics. Ithsa is the offspring of Komari Vossa and Darth Maul. Don’t worry they’re not a couple; Vossa basically agreed to allow Maul to complete a mission unhindered by trading leaving him be for having sex with her. (Listen to Lockdown, that woman’s slavering after him.) Maul agreed, the act being completely meaningless and truthfully abhorrent to him. Later in life, he’ll see it as SA. The son fathered in that moment is not his son. Regardless of how similarly they look and even act. Ithsa resents his father’s opinion of him and really comes to hate Maul’s chosen child, whom he adores almost to a fault: Happenstance. Boy’s got MAJOR attitude issues.

5. Softest OC

Vagren Dragos. Him just a lil man. Just itty. He’s a very small, very impressionable little Zabrak babby, the Padawan of @crc-jedi-knight-serushna’s Serushna Leliana. To be only like. 6. He’s strong enough to have earned his tattoos before having to leave Dathomir. As a force-sensitive male, he’d have been killed had Nightsisters gotten hold of him. His leaving was better off for him and his village ultimately but in no way easy. He’s gotten his kyber crystal though and he’s learning How To Jedi very quickly. Though… he’s starting to see that not all Jedi are as wonderful as his Master and Grandmaster. And that’s a shame.

6. Aloof/Standoffish OC

That’ll be my Clone OC Fitz, CT-52622. He’s been dishonorably discharged from the GAR but the Jedi who he serves beside as Special Consultant was a Padawan during the war. Rae Dagani lost her Master on Geonosis and Fitz refused to go fight in the battle while she and her sister-Padawan held their Master’s body and wept, undefended and alone. He stayed with them against orders and was punished for insubordination. But they repaid the favor and he works with them as a freelancer and adopted member of Kitchen Sink Squad now. He’s very restrained except with his baby girl, Rae. He’s her safe hiding place and he can let down his walls with her.

7. Dumbest OC

HA. Ummmm. Hm. I think that might be a BD unit OC I’m planning. Just a ditzy little thing that would exasperate BD-1 half to death.

8. Smartest OC

That’s probably Ee’an, another of the Kitchen Sink Squad I co-own with @hotshot9. Those fellas are based on favorite characters of ours from books and movies and he’s based on Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park. He’s all about philosophy and science, and he’ll debate you until he’s blue in the face. He’s got a massive flitterfly tattoo on his throat, wears his hair long to his shoulders, and favors leather jackets now that he’s out of armor mostly anymore. You’ll also find a trail of varactyl tracks winding up one leg and arm along an old scar he got riding one of them.

9. Besties IRL OC

Probably either Orin or Thess Sha. Thess owns a coffee shop on Naboo and breeds blarths. She’s very friendly and loves making people’s lives easier with good food and good drinks. (And free tshirts!)

Hmmmm….

@thesitharts @crc-jedi-knight-serushna @smoooothbrain @alexeithegoat @sweetiepie08 @stardustbee @eloquentmoon @eliduremaybe and anybody else who wants to join in!

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Spoiler FILLED reaction to Wingfeather show episode 5, “Fruit for Zouzab” (but if you’ve read the books you know what’s coming and, well, it’s only really a spoiler for finding out which parts happen in this episode)

The family: *getting loaded into the Black Carriage*

me: Come on, come on, come on-

Family: *starts running/fighting*

me: Come on, come on-

*all hope seems lost*

me: COME-

*screeching*

me: *SCREAMS* PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YO PEET’S TALONS I AM-

I NEED THE SCREENSHOTS?!

MY BOY CAME THROUGH

I love the look of them hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Actually here, you know what

LOOK AT HIM

LOOK AT MY BOY!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GIT WRECKED FANGS

dude doesn’t even have wings yet and he just comes leaping flying in I’m dead I cannot YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

THEY STILL LET JANNER KILL GNORM I AM PLEASED

Also Nia straight up PUNCHED TWO FANGS like DANG people are saying Podo’s awesome at fighting, Nia PUNCHED TWO FANGS like MA’AM. She is a QUEEN in every sense.

Peet just picking up Nugget and running to his treehouse with him- is that not what I wrote?!?! IS THAT NOT WHAT I WROTE?!? I can’t believe it I’ve been doing ALL THE THINGS RIGHT

This is such a small thing, but, WE FINALLY GOT TO SEE JOE AND ADDIE SHOOSTER I AM EXCITE. We saw Joe for literally half a second in episode 2 I think? WE GOT TO SEE ADDIE HERE TOO! they look nothing like I imagined them but that’s fine as long as they exist

“Buzzard Willie’s gift” is still there and it is. just as satisfying :)

Janner comforting Leeli and Tink as they ride away from the cottage and he just, he looks so determined, he looks like his uncle, he looks like a THRONE WARDEN and it’s giving me emotions

Not exactly like the book but overall I AM VERY HAPPY

[timetravelprincess05]

This looks so much fun!! I’m ALWAYS in the mood to answer anything Back to the Future related! Let’s gooooo!

1. My favorite way of seeing the trilogy used to be on my dvd boxed set i’ve owned since i was a kid. Looking it up online, it came out in 2002 and i’ve been a fan since at *least* 2006-2007? It’s definitely aged not only because the art is worn. It also skips in a few places and when the picture display on a flat tv is in letterbox format LOL! So now i watch it on the 25th anniversary box set.

I love watching it with my partner, even though we’re still long distance. And it’s not on any streaming site (for free)…

2. Omg i have thought about this for YEARS! (No pun intended) Hmmm… Probably good ol’ 1985.

3. Does a photo with Michael J Fox count?? 😭

4. I think i’d get along with Marty (and hopefully Doc) wonderfully. I’m also the youngest in my family and although my family is more similar to when he comes back from the past the first time (when George is a author and Lorraine is not drunk), they’re less…. happy. I also just relate to his nature of feeling like he doesn’t really belong anywhere, has to stand up for himself, but he’s still so kind and brave.

For Doc, science is a 50/50 subject to me, but Doc makes it seem interesting and fun, and honestly just radiates safe father figure. And i LOVE THAT. Being a massive reader, i would love to go to him and be like “Check out this new novel i read!” Only for him to endearingly be like “I don’t understand why x and x have to/did…” or just be somewhere to go when i have family troubles.

These two are my comfort characters, you have no idea! ❤️

4. I’m tempted to say none, however, i would change one detail in the scene where Biff is with Lorraine in the car. It wasn’t until i was older and experienced a… situation… That i realizes what he was doing. I’d change it to maybe a heavy make out session? Or just something where it doesn’t imply that’s what he’s doing. In the novel of the book, it’s worse because it almost outright says it.

5. Definitely the game! I played it years ago and wanna play it again, but don’t have the consoles to. Bummer :(

6. I haven’t yet! I keep putting it off lol. I hope one day i can see it live.

7. Oooo probably more time with Clara and Doc before Marty? I adore Marty, but i wanna hear more about the seven(?) months of them in the timeline where they are in a relationship before he comes to rescue Doc and subsequently Clara. You know what? More Seamus and Maggie (plus William) as well! I have SO many questions and adore that lil family!!

8. The watch Marty wears (yes, the one that is always messing up lol) was a gift from Doc.

9. Biff Tannen or Bufford Tannen!!

10. Dang, that’s a good question… *Maybe* Rock n’ Roll Fantasy?

11. Probably why does Marty only drink/order sugar free things? I know about the joke in Lou’s diner, and it probably sets it up for that. But i’m looking for the in-universe answer.

12. Hmm.. Define aspect. I’m gonna just gonna say all of it! Lol

13. God, these are amazing questions! Top memory has to go to when i went to Orlando, Florida and saw one of Delorean’s used in the movie and the time train! I even met an actor who pretended to be Doc. He was so on point! That was when i was 12-13. I hope to go back one day

14. I definitely would have liked that moment filled out for sure. Or the moment between the McFly family in the 1800’s eating supper and the morning where Seamus takes Marty to the train tracks. So many possibilities!

15. Does Clara count? She’s SUCH a role model for a GOOD female character! Kind, smart, knows how to stick up for herself, and knows how to chase after what she wants! Oooo i strive to be like her!!

16. The fur babies!! Ahhhh!!! ….Copernicus. Smoll boy

17. The main theme! Part three! Goosebumps

when “The End” appears every time ❤️

18. Classic skateboardz

19. Either the cowboy outfit with the poncho or classic white shirt and suspenders :)

20. In 1955, while he’s tinkering with the Delorean and building the “not built to scale” model of Hill Valley :)

21. Any of them! But i did a closet cosplay of Marty (minus the red vest) a few back for a college costume contest and won $10!

22. Three, one, and two! :D

23. I couldn’t dare!

24. Gotta go classic #1

25. I can’t pick oneeeee!

26. Probably one of the beginning scenes where Marty busts out of detention

27. The McFly house or the Clocktower!

28. BOTH!!

29. Marty would be the perfect age to try the first computer when it comes out!

30. N/A

❤️❤️❤️

⚡back to the future ask game!

decided to make this litte ask game for y'all fellow bttf fans! have fun :D

📽️what is your favorite way of seeing the trilogy and who do you like watching it with?

🕰️if you were to insert yourself into the trilogy, what year would you come from?

💵what is a piece of bttf merch that you really really want (but can't afford)?

😊if you could be best friends with one of the characters, who would you choose and why?

🎞️if you could change one scene from any of the movies, which one would you change and how?

🎮what is your favorite bttf extended media (the game, comics, musical etc.)?

🎵if you have listened to the musical soundtrack, which song is your favorite and why?

✒️you are hired to write/draw a new bttf comic, and it can be about whatever you want. what in the bttf universe would you want to expand on?

👀share a random headcanon you have about your favorite character!

💢which one of the characters would you want to punt into the sun the most? (feel free to include the new characters from the expanded media as well, there are certainly a few of them who would deserve it)

🎼if you have one, share a song that you associate with your favorite character!

❓what is one question you would love to ask bob gale?

❤️this is probably a hard question to answer, but what is your favorite aspect about the bttf trilogy/franchise?

💭share a favorite memory related to back to the future!

⌛choose a timespan in the trilogy that wasn't shown on screen (e.g. the time between november 5 and the monday where marty goes to the school to introduce his parents). how would you have filled that moment out?

➡️what is your favorite side character in the trilogy and why?

🐶einstein or copernicus? (you MUST choose >:) )

🎸what is your favorite piece of movie soundtrack? (can be orchestral or any other!)

🛹skateboard or hoverboard?

🧒what is your favorite marty outfit?

👨‍🔬what is your favorite doc outfit?

🎭what bttf cosplay do you want to own?

🏅rank the movies in the trilogy (if possible)!

🎥what character in the movies would you like to play if you had the chance to?

🚗what is your favorite version of the delorean? part 1, part 2 or part 3?

📄what is your favorite scene in the trilogy?

✍️if you have read any of the alternate screenplays, what is a scene you wish would have made it into the movies?

🏡what filming location do you want to visit the most?

🎢what bttf attraction do you wish universal had, or do you want them to just bring back the bttf ride? or maybe both?

⏲️what time period would you want marty to travel to and what would you want him to do? for fun or for something serious?

💫if you have any bttf related wips, here's the oppurtunity to ramble about them!

[sincerelyella]

Feelings Circle

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella); Drake x OC (Alyssa)

Characters belong to Pixelberry; Ella Brooks belongs to me; Alyssa Devereaux belongs to @burnsoslow and is used with permission

My brand spanking new and beautiful poster for The Loft was made by the amazing @gokushairgel ❤️ she is a gem and so dang talented. Thank you for creating this masterpiece!

Summary: An AU based on the show New Girl (my favorite can you tell??) Just a collection of one-shots and shenanigans that allude to the show. This will NOT be canon, that means this won’t be in Cordonia and Liam isn’t a King. If you have watched the show before, you know they are in Los Angeles, California.

A/N: This little chapter takes place after the birthday fic I wrote for Burnsy called Lifetime. You don’t need to read that one to know what’s going on in this fic though ☺️

A/N 2: It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything - mostly because work has been crazy and studying related to work has also taken up a lot of my time. My taglist is very old so feel free to ignore should you not want to read this mess lol

Thank you Burnsy, my tumblr and real life friend, for letting me borrow your best girl, as well as looking over this fic and not saying it completely sucked big donkey balls lol I love you.

Warnings: Adult language; sexual innuendos; some overall inappropriateness because it’s the Loft 🤷🏽‍♀️

Words: 1258

Alyssa opened the door and to her surprise saw a large package that was on the floor addressed to her. She grunted as she pulled and pushed it inside the loft. “Ella!”

A voice came from one of the rooms down the hall. “Yeah?”

“Did you order something for me again? I just returned the freaking roundabout dildo!” Lyss shut the door with her foot and crossed her arms across her chest.

“What’re you talking about? I didn’t buy anything,” Ella bounced into the living room. “What’s that?”

“I don’t know,” Lyssa bent down to take a look at the label on the box. “It says it’s from Texas.”

The girls pawed and pried open the box and saw that it was a bread maker. “A bread maker? What the fuck?” Lyssa saw a note tucked on the side and tugged on it. “It’s from Drake’s mom!” Drake and Alyssa just got engaged and FaceTimed his family and her cousins and friends to give them the news. Drake, not being too close to his mom and Aunt Leona, still felt like giving them a call about their engagement was respectful. “‘Dear Alyssa, So glad we got to meet you even though it was when you and my son were already engaged,’” Lyss read out loud. “‘Please accept this as an engagement gift, hope to meet you soon.’”

“What the fuck kind of gift is a bread maker?” Ella asked as she poked the box. “She doesn’t even know you. Why not send a toaster or coffee maker or something?”

Alyssa gasped. “Maybe she thinks I can’t take care of her son!”

Ella’s brows furrowed. “What? Why?”

“I don’t know, I heard she treated Drake and his sister like shit and abandoned them,” she explained with a wave of her hand. “So maybe this is her way of being petty. Maybe she thinks I can’t cook!”

“But you can’t,” her friend pointed out.

“That’s beside the point! She thinks I can’t take care of her only son!”

“How can you say you don’t take care of people?” Ella put her hands on her hips in a huff. “You take care of me! You’re fierce and strong and you would stand up for anyone that you love. You’re like a big, scary, protective mama bear!”

“I just make sure you don’t kill yourself when we’re drinking El,” Lyssa’s eyes watered. “What if Drake’s mom hates me?”

The girls were interrupted by the front door opening and the guys of loft 4D barged inside, already mid argument.

“If I’m not having sex in this loft, then nobody is having sex in this loft!” Leo roared as he marched towards the kitchen.

“I am so aware of my nipples right now,” Maxwell hissed as he hugged his chest tightly.

Ella and Lyss glanced at each other, then turned back to the boys. “What in the fresh hell-”

“Just don’t make any sudden movements,” Ella whispered out of the side of her mouth.

It was Liam’s turn to speak as he turned to his fiancé. “Love, did you know about this?”

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what’s happening right now. I need context.”

Leo ripped open a box of condoms, dumped them onto the kitchen island, and pulled open drawers.

“What the fuck is going on?” Lyssa asked as she turned to Drake.

“I’ll tell you what the fuck is going on!” Leo answered as he lifted up what he was looking for - a pair of scissors. “I’m going to cut all these condoms up!”

Drake, Max, and Liam lunged toward Leo, Drake reaching him first and tackling him to the ground. Max kicks the scissors away from him and Liam tries to pull his best friend off of his brother.

“Get ahold of yourself, you crazy oaf,” Drake grunted as he struggled against Liam’s strong hold. “Just because you fucked up and aren’t getting laid anymore doesn’t mean you can fuck it up for all of us!”

Leo huffed, his face red. “If any one of you try to have sex up in this loft I’ll body block! No love making! All love making will cease!”

“Everybody shut up!” Ella screamed. Everyone went silent and turned their attention to the small woman in front of them. “All of you, just shut up and sit down at the table. We’re going to talk about this like adults.”

Alyssa grinned. “I’ll get the-”

“Aw,” Maxwell whined. “Not the-”

“You bet your ass!” Lyss waved the feelings stick in his face. As a teacher, she brought home a lot of popsicle sticks, yarn, felt tipped markers, and crayons. But the feelings stick was used religiously in case they needed to have a loft meeting. The girls usually bring it out when there are some kind of feelings involved and the guys don't want to talk about it.

“Feelings stick is in effect,” Ella began as everyone took a seat, grumbling as they went. “You know the rules, one person speaks at a time and no interrupting.”

“Everyone deserves to be heard at the table,” Alyssa continued as she stood behind her new fiancé and bent down to kiss his cheek.

Ella plopped herself onto Liam’s lap, his arms automatically settling around her hips. “Who wants to go first?”

Maxwell reached for the feelings stick now in the middle of the table. “We all were at the store and Leo saw Hana there with another guy. He got upset and jealous and was trying to follow them down the aisles! As a distraction, I told him that the store ran out of cheddar cheese blocks and he went into some kind of rage and twisted my nipples,” he turned to look at Leo as he wrapped a free arm around his chest. “That really hurt and now I’m pretty sure you ripped some chest hair out of my skin.”

Leo snatched the feelings stick out of Max’s hand. “I felt like that was the wrong time to yell about my favorite cheese, and you knew how distraught I’d been over my … situation with Hana!”

Drake leaned over the table and grabbed the feelings stick from Leo. “I feel like you are being a real bitch about this Hana issue, Rys!“ Alyssa and Ella flinched at the harsh words; Leo’s face turned a dark red color. “You cheated, and she dumped you. Come to terms with it and fucking let it go!”

Liam held his hand out towards Drake, motioning for the feelings stick, and like a baton, Drake passed it over. “Leo, I don’t think it’s fair that you purposely bought condoms for everyone with a plan to just cut them up since we’re all in relationships and you’re not.”

A knock on the door interrupted their feelings circle. Alyssa walked over, flung the door open and her brows raised in surprise to see Hana on the other side. “Hana! Hey … uh, what’s up?”

Wringing her hands together, Hana gave her friend a nervous smile. “Hi Lyss, is Leo here?”

A screeching of a chair and stomping of feet sounded a moment later, and an out of breath Leo stood at the door next to Lyssa. “Hi! Hana … hi! How are you?”

“Leo …” Hana chewed on the inside of her cheek.

An awkward silence settled between the two and Lyss became increasingly uncomfortable. “I’m … just going to walk away,” she bent down under Leo’s arm that was holding the door open and scampered off.

“Did you want to come in?” Leo asked softly.

Hana nodded. “I think we should talk.”

[sohotthateveryonedied]

what was jason like when he first became robin?

okay so jason’s personality tends to fluctuate depending on the writer and the circumstances (such as dc trying to drill in the point that jason was a rebellious asshole even though he was actually Baby Supreme™) so i’m going to try and cover everything while also making it (hopefully) make sense, taking in all of the continuities and their varying canons.

1. we all know jason was a scrappy kid. he had a shitty dad, a drug addict mom, and spent a few years alone on the streets. this hardened jason and gave him a ferocity he didn’t have before. while it’s not hard to get past his exterior to the sweet kid within, it makes him bad at first impressions and is a great deal of the reason for why people reduce young jason todd to just a punk.

2. in spite of his less-than-kind beginnings, jason was a sweetheart. he had a passion for heroism and encapsulated everything that robin is supposed to stand for. while he had his dark moments, he mimicked dick grayson in the sense that above all, he was light and happy at his core. 

3. that’s kind of why there are so many different depictions of jason’s years as robin because, as cute and eager as he was, he still had a dark side and people tend to write him as being either “sweet sunshine boy” or “grim dark bastard child” even though it’s actually both. even before the red hood, jason had a tendency to get violent went provoked.

(not to mention the time he may or may not have killed a rapist, just saying)

(and it’s worth bringing up jason’s possible past with sexual assault, which depends more on personal opinion since it’s only been hinted at in later comics. in the original robin!jason comics, he was pretty innocent overall despite living on the streets, but later comics are a bit more realistic about it. it’s up to you to decide what happened, really.)

4. jason and dick got along!! this tends to be scrubbed out as “dick and jason barely knew each other before jay died” but originally, they got to know each other pretty well and grew pretty dang fond of each other. dick’s beef with bruce might have made him a little absent, but he did try his best to be a good big brother to jason.

5. and the titans liked jason too!

6. jason and barbara were close!! and he was pen pals with kid devil!! jason had way more friends than people think. later comics try to push the mindset that jason was shunned by the rest of the hero community, but that’s just plain not true. he was a great kid and plenty of people liked him.

7. jason was a smoker! (he never did drugs, though. i like to headcanon that jason despises drugs overall because they took his mom away from him.)

8. he was a nerd!!! jason loved school and books and the theatre (at least in the titans show he was a theatre nerd. i remember seeing a reference to jason liking theatre in comics but couldn’t find it). he loved learning because he never had access to education growing up on the streets!!!

9. jason really loved bruce. i know that we all pretty much know this one already, but it needs to be said. jason considered bruce his father for a while before his death and didn’t doubt that he was loved right back, despite what newer comics will try and tell you. i mean, the fact that jason was adopted as bruce’s son right off the bat says a lot about their relationship and willingness to be family.

(i’m sure there’s stuff i missed, but these are the bits that i try to remember when i’m writing jason in the early days of his robin career. he carries a lot of angst, sure, but he’s not completely without joy. after all, he became robin for a reason. jason was just as happy and enthusiastic as dick was until he died, and that fact needs to be acknowledged better.)

[nincompoopydoo]

Can I request a Fred Weasley oneshot with the promts "you don't love him", and "love is supposed to be good". Thanks 😊

GOOD, PURE, AND BEAUTIFUL

PAIRING: Fred Weasley x reader WORD COUNT: 1.9k (about 1000 words my ass) SUMMARY: The Leaky Cauldron serves as a sanctuary to drink your problems away for the night but a certain ginger always seems to find his way to you. Possible part 2? A/N: Sorry this took so long, I had to rewrite the hold dang thing and I know I said I would write around 1000 words but looks like i can’t help but be long-winded. WARNINGS: Angst. Mentions of getting drunk. support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERLIST

You find solace in the pint of butterbeer, sitting at a table for two, tucked by the corner and under the archways of the Leaky Cauldron. The passing wizards in sleek venerable trench coats and witches with an odd taste in hats only act as an activity of sightseeing in keeping yourself awake, hypothesizing strangers’ lives and whether they might have gnomes lurking in their gardens or have gardens in the first place.

You are drawn to the drifting scent of butterscotch—the tankard of butterbeer sits glumly in your grasp as it has lost all its foam. You take a sip, more of a gulp, feeling the gas building up in your abdomen, and the sweetness to it almost feels sickening at this point.

Belly full yet feeling extremely empty.

The days leading up to you, being here at the Leaky Cauldron, and playing the part of the drunken witch very well weren't exactly pleasant. Flourish and Blotts seem to lose its shine in fulfilling your love for books and organization with every passing day and your relationship with the boy you met and fell madly in love with during your sixth year don’t seem to hold the same spark as before. Walter was a Ravenclaw—handsome, diligent, and incredibly smart. You and him dating had been an on-and-off situation because the one thing you two share in common is the lack of decisiveness.

Today, tonight, you and Walter are finally resolute. The true end where second, third, or fourth chances will never cease to exist from now on. With the new offer for a job in America, you and he both know drifting apart seems to be the only reasonable solution to the whole mess of what you assumed was love.

He spoke the words in this very spot, sat in the chair across from you. You had been watching the way his thumb would caress the back of his other hand and you knew, the night was bound to end in a disastrous way. An unfortunate turn of events for the witch who doesn’t truly know if she ever loved another or was ever loved.

Yet, you sit here, eyes completely dry. Far from crestfallen, far from regret. Only filled with the dread of not feeling the sadness you’re supposed to be feeling. You ignore how your shoulders feel lighter and how the tightness in your chest seems to have miraculously disappeared as soon as you watched Walter walk out of the Leaky Cauldron.

Are the butterbeers celebratory or depressing? You’re not sure.

You rest your chin on your palm, feeling like you’re in a daze. Butterbeer isn’t necessarily the type of drink to get you intoxicated but noting the rate you’re consuming each mug, it’s no surprise that you’re just a little tipsy.

Then, you see a certain ginger twin emerge from the entrance of the pub like some divine intervention. He seems to spot you from afar, waving in your direction. You lift your hand weakly in the midst of trying to figure out which of the twins you are particularly waving at. It’s Fred Weasley as it turns out, you recognize the certain strides with every step taken towards you that differs him from George. As he nears you, there’s an assurance that it’s certainly Fred with the sight of a mark on the bridge of his nose—an indicator and a technique to tell the twins apart you used when you were younger.

Fred halts by the empty seat diagonally to your left, hands shoved in the pockets.

“I have never seen you here at this hour—are you okay?” Fred cuts himself short, brows turning into a frown when he notices the unusual mess in your hair. If he knows you any better, well-kept and neat hair was all you cared about after the number of times you have furiously whined about the frizz in your hair during the summertime.

It isn’t summer now, well into the end of November. The days are colder and he remembers how your hair would especially shine in the gloom of Autumn.

“Not really.” is all you manage to say before taking the hundredth swig from your nearly empty butterbeer. You inspect the mug with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. “I swear this was full the last time I looked...”

Before you know it, he’s snatching the mug away from you, dragging it across the table as he settles into the empty chair. He stares at you with a beckoning brow, expression mixed with disappointment, disapproval, and worry.

“Hey! That’s my butterbeer, Weasley!” you whine, trying to reach for it but Fred pushes it further, hand securing around it. Without hesitation, you smack him in the arm. “Stop being a complete arse, Fred. What are you even doing here and where’s George anyway?”

Fred winces in pretense pain, dramatically rubbing the side of his arm as he tries to suppress his laughter from your sudden burst of violence. “George is back at the shop going over numbers and as far as I’m concerned, I can be anywhere I want to be. You clearly had too much to drink.”

“But it's butterbeer!”

“That is exactly my point.”

You let out a huff, leaning into your seat and running your fingers through your hair. After a moment’s silence with Fred still staring you down in the effort of getting you to talk, you finally give in. He knows you too well for you to hide anything from him.

“Walter and I broke it off.”

Fred blinks, trying to hide his wide-eyed gaze. “For good?”

You finally turn to him, nodding slowly. “For good.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice is soft when in reality he’s trying to hide his relief in hearing that things between you and Walter have finally come to a resolution because falling in and out of a relationship was driving you mad. He cares for you and always has since the very beginning and a part of him wishes for those feelings of infatuation between two melancholic teenagers will emerge back from what he assumed was already dead.

He watches you lean your head back onto your palm, seemingly sinking deeper towards the table as you try to wrap your head around the situation to form proper words with your lips. “You know what’s the worst part of it all?” Fred shakes his head, eyes never breaking contact with your own. “I don’t even feel that sad about it. Like all those years were...nothing.” Your laugh comes out as a puff of air. It’s cynical rather than finding the humor in it. For the first time, he doesn’t laugh when you do.

Another beat of silence and Fred is contemplating whether his next words that beg to be freed from his mind are appropriate in a time like this. Although he knows how he tends to speak his mind without thinking of the consequences, he knows to tread lightly around you from the times when his words nearly tore your friendship apart.

Still, he knows to be honest with you.

Through the chatter of the crowd at the Leaky Cauldron whilst a few men by the other corner of the pub begin to break into singing a drinking song, Fred’s voice comes off as a whisper, barely audible. “You don’t love him, don’t you?”

Your gaze had initially drifted to the bunch of rowdy men, rendering verses about magical whisky and beer. Yet, they now return to hold a certain ginger’s gaze. You want to be offended by his question because of how it supposedly hurts the raw wound of feeling sorry for yourself. Your love life hasn’t been the best and your tendency to jump to your own defense about it is a clear note to everyone that it simply shouldn’t be questioned.

But it’s Fred. The one who has constantly looked out for you when other boys and men seem to take advantage of your hopeless romantic side. The one who would pull a prank on George just to see you smile. The one who ended up taking you to the Yule Ball as his date because Walter, at the time, rejected you like you were nothing. You should have known that it was never meant to be.

You know to be honest with Fred Weasley.

“I don’t think I ever did.”

He doesn’t say anything, wanting to listen as he waits for you to conceive the proper words to finally speak your mind. It is clear you want to let it out and let off of the burden that has trapped you under its knees, constantly looming over your shoulders and causing dread and fear of losing so much in such a short time. The band of merry men as the whole pub begins to join the group in singing about the joys of alcohol, life, and love in the tune of a traditional Scottish muggle song.

You wonder how can these people be so happy in a time of an impending war. Maybe, it's temporary, meant to drown the hurt and sorrows for tonight and when morning comes, they'll return to opening the stitches of their wounds. When morning comes, you will either wake up at this very table or in an empty bed. Either way, you’ll be alone.

Now, all you want to do is get all your worries and troubles off your chest, not wanting to feel so empty and suffocated. “Love,” you pause, inhaling deeply. ”Love is supposed to be good and pure and beautiful. Love was what I thought I had and right now, I don’t know what to make of it, Fred...I thought I was going to marry him someday.” You find yourself sighing once more, already feeling the lightness in your chest. Running your fingers along your cheek, you close your eyes to help yourself focus through your rapid thoughts and your dazed mind. “Everything is going wrong. I hate my job. I hate my bed. I’m drunk on butterbeer for Merlin’s sake. I feel so, so alone—”

“Ah, and that’s where you are wrong.”

Your eyes are open now, narrowed from adjusting to the sudden brightness of the candlelit place. They drift to Fred who seems very content. He then places his hand on yours and you realize you had been fiddling with your fingers for the last minute. His hand is warm on yours and the heat gradually travels to your chest, heartbeat now slightly picking up in speed. If you listen close enough, you would be able to hear it.

“You are never alone. Not when I’m around and you know I will always be around.”

His words tug at the side of your lips, now widening into a faint smile. It’s small but it’s the kind that reaches your eyes and raises your cheeks. “Thank you, Freddie.”

Then, you watch him abruptly come to a stand, chair screeching. He tugs on the lapels of his coat, adjusting it with the roll of his shoulders. He grabs the back of his chair, and leans forward, towards you. “George and I are visiting the Burrow for the weekend. I’m sure mum won’t mind you staying over.”

You blink, mouth slightly agape at his offer. “I don’t want to trouble anybody—”

“Don’t be silly. Mum loves you more than George and I combined. And she loves us a lot!”

You laugh and it’s genuine this time, knowing how Molly will be always whispering to you about what makes Fred a good husband in the kitchen when you’re washing up the plates and how she will never let you go to bed hungry.

The burrow is like your second home and right now, home is all you want and need.

“Alright, then.”

[song-of-the-rune]

back in oc-blorbo-vision tonight as well

another round now that I have the last member of this group (eshrie), threw in the party members who're ready for fun since I'm forcing them to live together

Emo Kid Eshrie

Rikkal: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*

Eshrie: You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Rikkal: I don't have time for their problems.

---

Roku: Stop failing.

Eshrie: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Eshrie: *Succeeds*

Eshrie: Dang it!

---

Iyo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

Torrgrin: Eyy, homie!

Roku: But then there's cootie...

Eshrie: Die.

---

Oh this is SO Torrgrin

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Rikkal: Thanks fam!

Roku: Oh no.

Kaztik: *cries* I love you too.

Eshrie: Sounds fake, but okay.

Iyo: *A flustered mess*

Torrgrin: Can I get a refund?

---

Torrgrin: What’s it like being tall?

Torrgrin: Is it nice?

Torrgrin: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Iyo: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Roku: It was one time!

---

Kaztik: Good. Thanks, dad.

Rikkal: You just called Torrgrin “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Kaztik: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Torrgrin: Do you see me as a father figure, Kaztik?

Kaztik: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Iyo: Hey! Show your father some respect!

---

Torrgrin: I hate Rikkal.

Kaztik: "Hate" is a strong word.

Torrgrin: I have strong opinions.

---

(I may actually send this player this because it's relevant to last campaign)

Torrgrin: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

---

Rikkal: Any tips on how to make someone like me?

Torrgrin: Try to make them laugh all the time.

Rikkal: Oh, wow! You actually help me for once, and it's even good advice!

Torrgrin: Yeah, the more they laugh, the more time they spend with their eyes closed, so it'd be easier.

---

Rikkal: Can I have your number?

Torrgrin, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

---

Look sorry I just love Rikky boy okay

Rikkal: You know, people treat me like a god.

Eshrie: How?

Rikkal: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

---

Rikkal: You are a solid 11/10.

Roku: Aw, thank-

Rikkal: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

---

(I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THAT THE GAME HAS MAGIC WAFFLES AND I'M USING THEM AS A REPUTATION PERK FROM IYO -)

Torrgrin: Can I get a waffle?

Roku and Rikkal: *fighting and yelling at each other*

Torrgrin: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

---

Iyo: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma?

Rikkal: Oklahoma City, bitch!

---

Roku, Literally a cat on multiple levels

Torrgrin, gently nudging Roku aside with their foot: Roku, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Roku, their eyes enormous: You kick Roku? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Torrgrin! Jail for Torrgrin for one thousand years!

---

(Did I mention his first death was to Go, who was Roku's previous life?)

Iyo: Awww, why don't you like cats, Rikkal? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love??

Rikkal: I don't know Iyo, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor.

---

(The only way they'd become friends)

Roku: I want a trip down memory lane.

Kaztik: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Roku's lap*

Kaztik: I heard you needed these?

Roku: YES! ALL OF THEM!

---

(This is just a core part of Roku's character lmao)

Torrgrin: Didn't you die?!

Roku: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

---

Kaz is also a favorite. they're all favorites but Kaz is a favorite

Kaztik: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

---

Eshrie: What are your three best qualities?

Kaztik: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Dicking around with perchance generator and my necromancer oc trio

But here's a highlight because I did NOT try for this one lmao.

Rikkal: I feel awful about killing you.

Kaztik:

Rikkal: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

Inspiration because Iyo isn't very developed yet

Iyo: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

---

Iyo: Hold on, I can explain!

Rikkal: Really? Can you now?

Iyo: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

---

Iyo: I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.

---

Iyo: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

---

Iyo: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

---

Can't shut the fuck up

Cop: What are your names?

Rikkal: Don't tell them, Kaztik.

Cop, writing: Kaztik...

Rikkal: Crap.

Kaztik: Nice going, Rikkal.

Cop:

Kaztik: Uh oh.

---

Rikkal: Kaztik, I need some advice.

Kaztik: You need advice from ME?

Rikkal: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

---

Rikkal: Are you ever going to listen to me?

Iyo: Yes. Absolutely.

Rikkal: When?

Iyo: When you're right.

---

Rikkal: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Rikkal: And atoms never touch each other.

Rikkal: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

---

Iyo: Rikkal is forbidden from monologuing.

---

Rikkal: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Iyo: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

---

Rikkal, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

---

Okay but fr

Rikkal: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Iyo: You sleep with a teddybear.

Rikkal: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

---

Iyo: What have you done with Rikkal?

Kaztik: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

---

Iyo: Look, Kaztik, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

---

Kaztik: When do you usually go to sleep?

Rikkal: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

---

Rikkal: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

---

Kaztik: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall?

Rikkal: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Kaztik: That's not what I asked.

Rikkal: That is all the information I have.

---

Kaztik: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---

*At the police station*

Kaztik: Hi, I’m here for Rikkal.

Police officer: Who’s Rikkal?

Kaztik: Ah, you must be new.

---

Rikkal: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Iyo: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Rikkal: Obviously. Now, Kaztik, pass the shovel.

---

Rikkal: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

---

Iyo: Rikkal, I am questioning your sanity...

Kaztik: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

---

(Iyo introduced them but)

Kaztik: Pfft, you should meet Rikkal, they're such a tsundere.

Iyo: They... they just stabbed you.

Kaztik: So cute.

---

Kaztik: What happened to your nose?

Rikkal: I used it to break some guy's fist.

---

Kaztik: Why would you do that?

Iyo: Because I feel guilty.

Rikkal: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

---

Rikkal: Go big or go home!

Iyo: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

Rikkal: I'm going big!

---

Rikkal: No thanks.

Rikkal: I'm god.

---

(in his own damn lab)

Rikkal: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Kaztik: What was that?

Rikkal: The sound of someone else's problem.

---

Dumbass sibling energy

Iyo: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Kaztik, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

---

Kaztik: I wish I had more enemies.

Iyo: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

---

*at a zoo*

Kaztik: What are they in for?

Iyo: Kaztik, this isn't prison.

Kaztik: So they can leave?

Iyo: No, but-

Kaztik, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

---

Iyo: There. How do I look?

Kaztik: Like a cheap French harlot.

Iyo: French?!

---

Iyo: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Iyo: Not you Kaztik. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

---

Kaztik, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Iyo: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

---

Iyo: Why don't I like this person?

Kaztik: I don't know. Maybe it's because they keep stealing your thunder.

Iyo: Maybe it's because their name is "Rikkal". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous?

Kaztik: No.

Iyo: That's because your name is "Kaztik".

---

Iyo: We have fun, don’t we, Kaztik?

Kaztik: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

---

Rikkal, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Iyo: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Iyo: Here you go.

Rikkal:

Iyo:

Kaztik: Why am I here?

---

Kaztik: I drink to forget but I always remember.

Iyo: You're drinking orange juice.

---

Kaztik: Can I have some water?

Iyo: *starts chugging their water bottle*

Iyo: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Iyo: *spills water all over themself*

Iyo, coughing: I don't have any water.

---

Iyo: How are you today?

Kaztik: Please don’t make me think about my life.

---

Iyo: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Kaztik: Navy blue isn't your color.

Iyo: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Kaztik*

---

And dumbass couple energy

Iyo: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Rikkal: We have three actually-

Kaztik: Pick your favorite.

---

Kaztik: You have to apologize to them Rikkal.

Rikkal: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

---

Kaztik, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Rikkal: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

---

Rikkal: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Kaztik: You mean you stabbed them?

Rikkal: They ran into my knife.

---

Kaztik: Happy birthday Rikkal! I'm your gift!

Rikkal, whispering to Iyo: Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

---

Rikkal: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Kaztik: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~

Rikkal: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Iyo, recording: This is so cute.

---

Rikkal: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

---

Rikkal: There's no way they like me back.

Iyo: Kaztik would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Rikkal: Kaztik would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

---

Rikkal: I warned you.

Rikkal: I'm perfect.

---

Iyo: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Iyo, gesturing to Rikkal and Kaztik fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

---

Rikkal: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Rikkal: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Kaztik.

---

Kaztik: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Rikkal: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Kaztik:

Rikkal: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Iyo: We know what you meant.

---

Kaztik: We’re getting married, bitches!

Rikkal: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

---

Kaztik: Even Rikkal and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich.

Rikkal: I mistook them for a garbage can.

---

AND dumbass friend energy

Rikkal: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

Iyo: What?

Rikkal: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

---

Rikkal: Are you busy?

Iyo: No.

Rikkal: Want to do something?

Iyo: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

---

Iyo: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group.

Rikkal: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?

Iyo: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

---

Iyo: So, Rikkal is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Kaztik: Why?

Iyo: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Rikkal, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

---

Rikkal: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Kaztik!

Iyo: So Kaztik knows about this?

Rikkal, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

---

THE FUCKING MURDER SCENE

Rikkal: Can I ask you for a favor?

Kaztik: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Rikkal: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

---

Rikkal: I could kill you if I wanted.

Kaztik: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

---

Kaztik, staring lovingly at Rikkal: I would die for you.

Rikkal, doing their own thing: Then perish.

---

(This one needs context but yes still the same murder scene)

Rikkal: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Rikkal: *glares at Kaztik*

Kaztik: Well, sorry I have morals!

---

Iyo: You should have realised, Rikkal, if Kaztik didn't kill you, we would.

---

(...yeah same here)

Kaztik: Kill me nowwwww.

Rikkal: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

---

(...LOOK-)

Iyo: Remember, Rikkal, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Rikkal: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

---

Kaztik: Rikkal, no.

Rikkal: Rikkal, yes.

---

Rikkal: Kaztik, do you love me?

Kaztik: Of course I do!

Rikkal: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Kaztik: Well, of course I… would…

Rikkal: I mean something really, really—

Kaztik: Rikkal, what did you do?

---

This could be any of them tbh

Kaztik, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

---

Kaztik: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Rikkal: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

---

Adjusting to undeath is hard okay?

Iyo: Heyyy Rikkal, how’s your… drink??

Rikkal: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee.

Iyo: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker*

Rikkal: *Looks to coffee maker*

*Cement sitting beside the coffee maker*

Rikkal:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

[tricktster]

the twilight series suddenly makes 100% more sense if you read them under a specific premise that, i contend, is heavily supported by the text:

Much like Amy’s diary in Gone Girl, the books in the Twilight Saga are verbatim reproductions of in-universe diary entries carefully and deliberately created and curated by badass unreliable narrator Bella Swan as a means to achieve immortality.

Prerequisite assumptions:

1) Bella actively and persistently wants to become a vampire, both diagetically and (I contend) non-diagetically. The average vampire novel format often fails to capture realistic human behavior in one highly specific area: the protagonists are frequently mortals who grapple with the choice of whether to become a vampire. This is stupid, because being a vampire would obviously be dope as hell; particularly in the Twilight Universe, where vampires are not required to take a human life to survive, and indeed, have the capacity to live full and rewarding lives while integrated* into the human community.

(*integrated-ish; see Assumption 6)

2. There are too many coincidences for Bella to have encountered the Cullens by sheer chance, only to be the ONE person that Edward can’t live without (due largely to the novelty factor of not being able to read her ding-dang thoughts.)

3. Diagetically, the Volturi don’t even know Bella’s psyonic gifts until New Moon, but we also know that the Volturi scour the globe for recruits to enlist into the protection of their governing body.

4. Nobody wants to be a voiceless cog in a bureaucracy.

5. Nobody, and especially nobody in high school, wants to be a high school student forever.

6. Vampires in twilight are, as a group, cartoonishly terrible at disguising their true nature.

7. Forks is a backwater town approximately 3.5 hours away from the biotech hub of Seattle.

7. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can eat my farts and they deserve to be preserved in this snapshot of an innocent author’s mind slowly unraveling.

Proposed timeline:

In 1993, there is a key system meltdown at a improvised biohacking startup in Seattle, rendering all innovative genetic modification experiments into a puddle of brown sludge that nobody can figure out how to dispose of per Federal regs, since they don’t even know what it is.

The broke founder of the startup, who for the purposes of this timeline I will call Jeff Bezos because that’s who it was, eventually grows tired of all the discussion about what to do, and just pops it in a barrel, drives a few hours out of town, and dumps it in a pond.

Bella Swan, a small child, is hanging out at a park with her family friend Jacob Black (and a ton of his friends) when they all decide to wade in a slightly murky pond. Thereafter, they are transformed.

Bella grows up as a normal, highly powerful mutant with a +20 to deception checks and wisdom saves. She lives in Arizona, but up until 2002, summers in Forks. While in Forks, she picks up on the local lore about a family of vampires who don’t eat people.

Because Forks (population: 17 + Charlie’s mustache) is boring, Bella bones up on the only interesting thing about it, i.e. Vampire Hometown baybeeeee.

In 2000, George W. Bush gets elected president, and his evangelical politics and general bumbling ineptitude informs Bella’s opinions on authoritative governmental entities.

In 2001, the Cullens make their intention to move back to Forks known, but they take a while because they need to pack all their stupid graduation hats and volvos, etc.

Later in 2001, a psychic Volturi scout rolls through Forks to ensure that nobody within living memory recalls the Cullens, and notices an anomaly in the psychic field.

The scout goes to confront Bella about joining the Volturi, and Bella immediately clocks him as a vampire, because vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human. This leaves the scout in a bind: she’s too valuable to kill, but she’s a pre-teen, and therefore too young to be transformed per Volturi authority.

The scout warns her he’ll have to kill her if she discusses the existence of vampires with any human. He then tells her he’ll be back in five years, and begins to sweet talk her on how good life will be when she’s a vampire, beautiful, immortal, powerful, etc. Bella asks if she has to kill, and dude says “nah, actually there’s a bunch of vegetarian vampires who are moving back here soon. Fucking nerds, but otherwise they’re doing well.” Bella is all about becoming a vampire, because Bella is a rational actor.

Bella moves to Arizona, and as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are unjustifiedly initiated, she recognizes that while she DOES want to be a vampire, she does NOT want to be a foot soldier in any war that she can’t support. She needs a plan.

In 2004, Bella is watching her step-dad’s minor league baseball game when it occurs to her. On her own, she’s a target for the Volturi, but if she had some people to watch her back, she might be okay. Of course, nobody fucks with the Volturi on behalf of some rando human. She’ll need to con her way into a coven who’ll have her back and also give her that +10 to constitution via vampiric transformation, which she desperately wants because she’s a rational actor. And where are the non-volturi vampires that might have her back? Fucking Forks.

Bella moves to Forks in 2004, and upon seeing the Cullens, she immediately clocks them as vampires even though they left their “we’re all vampires” booty shorts at home, because, as previously discussed, vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human.

Bella notes that all the vampires but one are paired off in heterosexual bliss, and takes note of the straggler as a potential vehicle to vampyrdom.

Bella figures out that Eddie can read everyone’s mind but hers, because Edward Cullen fucking sucks at looking/acting like a human who can’t read minds. Bella further observes that Eddie has a huge undead boner for her.

She’s found her mark. Now she just needs to convince him that she’s better off as part of the coven than on her own. Problem: Eddie’s a self-pitying insufferably guilt-striken perpetual adolescent who keeps himself busy by feeling sorry for himself because he’s a vampire, angst angst angst etc etc. Also, I think he’s Catholic, so add some more guilt in. She’ll have to win him over by convincing him that they’re destined to be soulmates.

What does a vampire used to having complete insight into everyone’s mind but his crush’s want? A method to know what she really thinks of him. Bella begins writing a “diary” knowing that there’s no way in hell Eddie won’t sneak in and read it. So she Gone Girls it, and begins to lay a trap to lure him in. That first diary? Twilight.

This was just in the movie but a stoner chases her around with a worm on a stick. Nothing to do with this theory, I just like that part of the movie. Where’s my spinoff about that guy?

Eddie won’t give Bella what she wants (eternal life) by the end of book 1, even though she asks him to EXTREMELY POLITELY. Time to hit the diary with some more promises of undying love.

Bella reconnects with her old friend Jacob and the rest of the Mutated By Jeff Bezos Boys. Alas, they cannot turn her into a physically powerful sexy immortal with a bite, so she’s still stuck with plan A) win over a whole family of vampires with big Mormon energy. It’s the long con.

Edward’s angst abruptly takes a swing towards terminal. He’s absolutely your classic sadboy, perhaps because Bella now has one (1) friend that he knows about.

When Eddie begins to drift away on account of Angst, Bella conjurs up a secondary love interest who, coincidentally, is ALSO a sexy supernatural entity, and is much less coincidentally just Jacob.

We should establish here that Edward is like a 107 year old white dude and so even though Diary!Bella pretends not to see it, Metatextual Frame Story!Bella knows that dude is super racist.

Jacob Black is three things: 1. Like Bella, a mutant (although one with shapeshifting abilities), 2.one of Bella’s oldest and most trusted confidants, and 3. down to clown on an elderly teenage vampire who keeps stereotyping him. Sure, says Jacob, I’ll take the form of a werewolf. He seriously thinks we’re all just beastmen, huh? Hey look at me now, I’m Regis Philbin because this is 2005 and Who Wants to be a Millionaire is still sort of relevant. Sick.

Edward does not like that Bella has one (1) other friend. Bella and Jacob plot to use this to their advantage and lure Edward back on the wings of jealousy.

Eddie gets himself into trouble on account of Angst and poor communication, so Bella has to go rescue him from himself/the Volturi.

Aro finally meets her and gets to test her powers, which impress him. Now she’s back on the fucking radar.

I forget everything that happens in Eclipse, so i have chosen to omit that part.

Eventually she extracts a quid pro quo from Eddie; i’ll marry you if you turn me into a dracula.

We don’t really call ourselves that, Wet Blanket Cullen replies, entirely earnestly.

Bella gets married at 18 in 2006, and Eddie starts to backtrack his promise about changing her. This won’t stand.

Well, look, he’s an elderly guilty catholic/mormon teen who probably still uses super racist terms, but she’s stuck on honeymoon island, he has certain angles that work for him, and seriously what are they gonna do but fuck? Bella’s alternative is listening to her “husband” drone on about his interests, which are almost certainly Car, How Do I Post a Minion Picture on Facebook, and Licorice Used To Be a Lot Cheaper in the Good Old Days.

Whoops a fetus.

Bella recognizes that she’s GOT to have this baby: time’s running out, and Bella knows that at least two of the Vamps in her coven will cut ties if she terminates or otherwise fails to carry this baby to term because of the conservative religious subtext. She’s going to have to stick it out for 9 months, even though it’s a risky call.

Bella gets what she wants after giving birth. “My time as a human is over, but I've never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire.” That’s a direct quote. Except now she’s got a (pretty cute and easy) baby that she desperately wants to protect from Turning Into A Vaguely Religious Cullen Dressed Head To Toe In Cream Colored Wool.

Bella decides to fake her own death and escape with the kid and Jake so they can form i guess a detective agency. Bella will get “killed” by the Volturi, move to Sydney, and open up shop, and Jake will take the kid after her a few months later.

They’re gonna need a reason why Jake gets the kid though, and there’s only one reason to do anything amongst the Cullens: a heterosexual love interest with a super problematic age gap.

Jesus, Jake sighs, is Eddie really going to believe I’m in romantic love with your actual infant? Does he really think that little of me?

Yup.

Bella tries to draw the Volturi’s attention.

Works too well.

The Cullens call up all their vague acquaintances, who are at least kind of fun. Particularly that one dude who keeps getting angry about British conduct during the American Revolution.

Well, fuck, now the Volturi are bringing an army to fight their ragtag army of Vampires Who Are Cool And Interesting Enough That We Can Safely Presume They Are All Definitely Gay. Bella can’t let those guys die, they’re the first actually compelling vampires she’s ever talked to.

Bella saves the day because she’s OP.

All the Cool Vamps start packing up to leave and Bellz almost goes with them, but the Cullens would just keep sending missionaries after her if they knew.

Bella finishes her fourth journal with the vague warning that the Volturi are still out there somewhere and they miiiight just try and get her.

Two days later, she stages a scuffle and gets the fork out of Fucks. Her journals are the only clue.

Sirius Black and baby nessie follow once edward has stopped sobbing into his cream colored sweater and moved on to Extended Power Pouting.

Bella recruits her own army of fledglings.

Bella stages a coup against the Volturi and succeeds.

Bella sits on the iron throne with a hot lady vampire on each knee and they all kiss and stuff.

Nessie I guess forms a post punk band?

Edward dies from aspiration of a brussel sprout that he ate because he just wanted to feel something.

Charlie and Billy get married.

Charlie’s mustache develops a cult instagram following, providing them with a modest retirement income.

Jacob shapeshifts into Bill Murray and is always crashing weddings.

Bella’s stepdad is off in the B plot this whole time winning the world series with the help of a kooky angel.

There. Fixed. My soul is at rest.

[osakaso5]

IDOLiSH7 6th Anniversary Special Story: Full of Heart...

Chapter 4: Unreasonable Demands

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'm glad you can get your photo now, So-chan. But are you sure you can make it to the North Pacific?

Sogo Osaka: I think so... He did say he could make a stop at the nearest yacht harbor.

Sogo Osaka: What about your photo? You mentioned that Re:vale could help...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah. I just messaged them, and they said they were gonna come pick us up.

Sogo Osaka: Pick us up?

[Toot toot!]

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ah! That's Momorin's car!

Momo: Tamaki! Sogo!

Yuki: Good evening.

Sogo Osaka: I'm sorry you had to come all this way! Tamaki-kun didn't tell me you were coming for us until just now...

Momo: It's fine! Hop on!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Where are we going?

Yuki: Back in time.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Heh. If I could time travel, there's a ton of stuff I'd wanna do.

Yuki: Same here.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I bet you would too, So-chan.

Sogo Osaka: Sure.

Momo: I've got a ton of stuff I'd change, too. But sorry, we're not actually going back in time. We're going to Yuki's place!

Tamaki Yotsuba: That's fine. There's a bunch of stuff I wanna do there, too.

Yuki: Like what?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Playing the guitar. Teach me.

Yuki: Okay.

Sogo Osaka: You could've asked me, too... Though I'm sure Yuki-san has better foundations and technique...

Tamaki Yotsuba: I don't wanna learn from you. You'd get on my case about being bad. Yukirin seems way nicer.

Yuki: I'm a lot scarier than you think.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Huh..? Oh, right. No way am I gonna learn from you. I'll just ask Ban-chan.

Yuki: Ban's not any better, you know. He'll click his tongue and call you an amateur.

Tamaki Yotsuba: If he did that, I'd start crying...

Sogo Osaka: I would, too...

Momo: I'd cry so much, my tear ducts would never recover...

[Toot toot!]

Momo: Ah! We can talk later! Hurry up and get in the car!

Sogo Osaka: ...Thank you!

Momo: Off we go! 

- - - -

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yaaay! Long time no see, Yukirin's place.

Sogo Osaka: Tamaki-kun, you could at least thank Yuki-san for his hospitality.

Yuki: It's fine... Hey. Tamaki-kun, wait, at least put some slippers on before you walk in.

Tamaki Yotsuba: It's fine.

Yuki: It's not fine. Put them on.

Sogo Osaka: I'm sorry about him! I'll make him wear them! Tamaki-kun, come back here. You can't just run into people's homes like that.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I was so excited that I had to floor it.

Momo: I guess you'll need to install traffic lights at your entrance hall, Yuki.

Yuki: I'll paint a little crosswalk on the floor while I'm at it.

Sogo Osaka: Thank you, and I'm very sorry for the trouble...

Yuki: I was joking. I guess you can be a bit soft on Tamaki-kun, too.

Sogo Osaka: Oh, that was a joke?

Momo: So, what's up?

Momo: You needed help finding a childhood photo for Welcome to Kids' Room, right?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Y'know the apartments I used to live at? There was this guy there who had a camera.

Momo: A guy with a camera?

Tamaki Yotsuba: I forget his name, but I think he lived in our neighborhood. He took a family photo of us.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I wanna meet him, so I can ask if he could reprint the picture we put in Mom's casket...

Tamaki Yotsuba: And for that, I need you guys to make some shady deals.

Re:vale: Shady deals..?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah.

Re:vale: Shady deals!?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah. I need the help of some underground type guys for this. Can't Re:vale make that happen?

Yuki: You want us...

Momo: To make shady deals...

Sogo Osaka: Re:vale... Please. If it's at all possible, then I'd like you to help him, too.

Momo: Now even Sogo's asking... No, hold on just a minute!

Momo: I'm not sure where you got the idea that we make ANY kind of shady deals to begin with. Yuki, do you know what they're talking about?

Yuki: I have no idea. You?

Momo: Nope... I feel like shady deals are the one thing we can't help with...

Tamaki Yotsuba: No way... I was sure you guys would have some leads.

Yuki: What kind of a deal were you planning?

Momo: I think we'll be more helpful than any of the "underground type guys" you had in mind.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I need someone to hack into every surveillance camera in the world, to find out where that dude is now.

Sogo Osaka: Every surveillance camera in the world..?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Even though most people don't realize it, there's shady organizations that control the world from the shadows!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Or at least that's what it said in this "Scary Truths of the World" book that Isumin had.

Yuki: You mean you read it in some book about the occult? And you went ahead and assumed we were associated with these shady organizations?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah... Re:vale kinda gives me that sort of vibe sometimes...

Momo: I never knew people saw us that way. Heh, not bad.

Yuki: So basically, you want to know where that camera guy is now? Good thing I happen to know a private detective.

Sogo Osaka: You know a private detective? Did you meet him while studying for a role?

Yuki: No... I met him while looking for your manager...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Oh, Ban-chan!

Yuki: Yep.

Momo: But if that private detective couldn't find Ban-san, how useful could he possibly be?

Yuki: Probably not very useful, no.

Momo: But you still kept him on your payroll?

Yuki: Well, Ban taught me not to keep replacing our bandmates, and you taught me to hold people dear...

Momo: Oh, Yuki! You're such a good boy!!! You're a gentleman and a hottie rolled into one!  

Yuki: I sure am. I'll even forgive you for our earlier argument.

Tamaki Yotsuba: You guys had a fight?

Momo: We butted heads over our Welcome to Kids' Room photos, that's all.

Sogo Osaka: But why would you fight over your childhood pictures..?

Momo: Well... 

- - - -

Rinto Okazaki: Then it's settled. This will be your picture for the show, Momo-kun, and this will be yours, Yuki-kun.

Yuki: Wow..! You look adorable, Momo! A little round-cheeked boy with a tan, playing soccer. It's so cute.

Momo: ...Holy crap... A listless pretty boy, playing the guitar...

Yuki: I like this photo. I feel like it'd be a great source of energy whenever I'm tired from work.

Yuki: I know we talked using each other's selfies as lock screen backgrounds,   but I think these childhood photos would work better.

Rinto Okazaki: Great idea! I happen to have these picture lockets, would you like some?

Yuki: A locket? If I put Momo's picture in that, it'd be like he's my son.

Yuki: That could be kind of funny. Should we try it?

Momo: No way...

Yuki: What!?

Momo: I can't take this photo! As both your fan and your partner, I think this picture's bad news!

Yuki: How is it bad news!? Are you saying I'm not cute in it!?

Rinto Okazaki: I think you're positively adorable!

Momo: You're wearing SHORTS! Since when do you wear shorts!? There's no way we can show this on TV!

Yuki: And why not? Even I was once an innocent kid, like Iori-kun and Tamaki-kun.

Rinto Okazaki: I think you're still plenty innocent, Yuki-kun!

Yuki: That's it. I'm making a copy of this picture, and putting it inside your locket.

Momo: Oh, no you don't! I'm not wearing that, you hear me!?

Yuki: But you said we should use each other's pictures as lock screens!

Momo: I didn't say anything about our childhood pictures! I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to walk around with a picture like this dangling from my neck!

Momo: And how did you just so happen to have two lockets lying around!?

Rinto Okazaki: The president got them for you.

Yuki: He wants us to have each other's pictures?

Rinto Okazaki: No, he actually wanted you to have a childhood photo of himself and I.

Momo: Wait, I wanna see that!

Rinto Okazaki: Here it is.

Momo: Wow! You went to a studio for this one!

Momo: Okarin, is the one sitting on the chair you? Does that mean our prez is the one standing up?

Rinto Okazaki: That's correct.

Yuki: You and Rintaro look really alike. The suits look chic, so it's actually kind of cool.

Yuki: Was this taken for a special occasion?

Rinto Okazaki: Our neighborhood cameraman needed something to display on his shop window, so he took a picture of us.

Rinto Okazaki: We received the lockets as thanks.

Rinto Okazaki: He thought that if we brothers kept a picture with us, we'd always be able to find each other, no matter how far apart we end up.

Yuki: Huh. So it's a novelty gift. If you can call it that, anyway.

Rinto Okazaki: This was 20 years ago. Come to think of it, there was a picture of the cameraman's two sons on the window, too.

Rinto Okazaki: Though even our parents said they'd only ever seen the older brother.

Yuki: I see. Maybe something happened to the younger one, then. Poor thing...

Rinto Okazaki: Perhaps...

Rinto Okazaki: The older son's business failed, too, and eventually, the camera shop closed its doors for good.

Rinto Okazaki: My brother remembered the cameraman thanks to this picture. That was probably why he wanted you to have some, too.

Momo: So we could keep each other's pictures close by?

Rinto Okazaki: No. Like I said, it's our picture he wants you to put in the lockets.

Yuki: I think Rintaro's a little too in love with himself.

Rinto Okazaki: I'm sorry about him...

Momo: Ahaha! Still I think it could be funny to walk around with your picture hanging from our necks! Right, Yuki?

Momo: It would really show off our loyalty to Okazaki Productions, don't you think!?

Yuki: ......... Do you really hate the idea of having my picture that much..?

Momo: Uh, no...

Yuki: I see how it is. You refuse to keep my picture in a locket, but the Okazakis are fine?

Momo: I didn't mean it like that...

Rinto Okazaki: Ah, how unusual. Normally, it's Momo-kun doing these sort of interrogations.

Yuki: I can keep your photo in a locket, you know. I could even make you lunch for your practice match, Momose-kun.

Momo: Dang! I'm starting to feel jealous over my picture self..!

Yuki: I hope you'll grow up into an idol and be happy with me.

Momo: I don't think I can talk to your picture that easily... Or that casually...

Momo: Then again, wouldn't it be a little pervy if I started calling this picture of my partner "Master Yuki", or something..!?

Rinto Okazaki: I don't see the problem. Re:vale's already got an eccentric image, after all.

Yuki: I feel bad for my unwanted younger self. Give him back to me. I'll raise him with little Momose here.

Momo: I told you, that's not it! I'd never neglect little Yukito-san..!

Rinto Okazaki: There you go, starting some bizarre family roleplay. Allow me and my brother's picture to join in! 

- - - -

Momo: And that's how we started arguing.

Sogo Osaka: That sounds rough...

Yuki: Here's Momo's picture, by the way.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Wow! Momorin was so cute! Used to be super tan, too! With shiny white teeth!

Sogo Osaka: You really did put it in the locket.

Momo: Wanna see Okarin and his brother?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Okarin was adorbs, too! And I've never seen his brother! He's cute!

Yuki: Not anymore, he's not.

Sogo Osaka: So you did use Okazaki-san's picture for the locket.

Momo: I thought it'd be funny, and a good way to advertise our agency... Yuki's is too real for me to walk around wearing it. Do you get what I'm saying, Yuki?

Yuki: Not at all. I still feel bad for little me.

Momo: Don't you get grumpy on me again!

Yuki: ...In any case, I can introduce you to a useless private detective.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'd rather you introduce me to a useful one. Does your detective pal know any better detectives?

Momo: Good point. If he's in the business, he's gotta know who his biggest rivals are!

Yuki: I'll try asking him.

[Dial tone]

Yuki: Hello, it's Yuki from Re:vale. Do you know any good detectives, other than you? Like, the king of private detecting or something...

Yuki: What..? There's a detective so great, he's only spoken of in legends..?

Tamaki Yotsuba: ........! A legendary detective..!!!

Sogo Osaka: He sounds like someone who could help! That's great, Tamaki-kun!

Yuki: I have a job for that detective. Get in touch with him for me. I need to find somebody. Yeah. I'm counting on you.

[Beep]

Momo: He's going to introduce us to a legendary detective!?

Yuki: He's willing to try, at least. I'll get in touch as soon as I hear from him again, Tamaki-kun.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Okay! Thanks!

Yuki: But... If it's too hard for you to get a hold of that picture, you can quit if you want, you know.

Momo: You guys must have better things to do, anyway. It's not like Ban-san or Maneko-chan are forcing you to do this, right?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah, but...

Tamaki Yotsuba: I wanna have something like this pic of Momorin playing soccer, or Yukirin playing the guitar.

Re:vale: .........

Momo: Right. I hope you find your picture, Tamaki. We'll help in any way we can.

Yuki: If you run into trouble, call us.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ehehe... Okay! 

- - - -

Sogo Osaka: .........

Sogo Osaka: They even drove us back to the dorm.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yukirin's cooking was so yummy, and Momorin played with me a lot. Re:vale's super nice!

Sogo Osaka: It's because you're such a good kid.

Tamaki Yotsuba: .........

Sogo Osaka: You're so honest and kind, there's not a single person who wouldn't want you to live a happy life.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Haha... That's the opposite of what I used to hear, though.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Like when something I had broke, or something didn't make it to me in time, or something I'd been excited for didn't work out.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Apparently it was all a punishment, 'cause I'm such a bad, nasty kid.

Sogo Osaka: ........

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'd get mad and yell, "That's not true!", but still. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I remember that stuff.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I fall down, or something I like breaks, or I get caught in a rainstorm... And I wonder if I'm being punished.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I mean, I'm not THAT good of a kid. I don't work hard, I'm kinda rude. Plus I'm dumb.

Tamaki Yotsuba: ...If I was smarter, maybe I would've gotten a copy of that photo before it went into Mom's casket.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I don't have any pictures 'cause I'm an idiot who can't take proper care of anything.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Meanwhile, you're good at keeping things clean, and you do everything right.

Sogo Osaka: ...You're not an idiot, and the photo thing wasn't your fault.

Sogo Osaka: I can't believe anyone would say things like that to a child. Of course you're not being punished.

Tamaki Yotsuba: .........

Sogo Osaka: I can guarantee that you're not, so don't worry.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ahaha! So-chan, you're acting kinda cool all of a sudden.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Thanks. 

To be continued...

[astaroth1357]

You know how in some places people hug close friends or just friends in general (depends on how much you love hugs tbh) to greet eachother???? How would the brothers react to an MC that does that??? (pls give me representation, why does no one else hugs their friends. How do you keep your hands to yourself.) if you would like. Thank you very much for your time!!!!

How the Brothers Would React to a (Platonic) MC Who’s Just a Hugger

Personally, I’m a pretty touch starved individual, so I would fucking love hugs!... (but only once there’s a certain point of trust/friendship/intimacy what have you between us, you know? I get as stiff as plywood when random people try to hug me. Just… no thank you. I like my space please, but that’s just me 😅)

Check out my Masterlist for more!

Lucifer

NO. No hugging. This man is not a hugger and would rather they just not, especially if they’re the type to do it from Day One.

Expect him to flinch a whole bunch initially and keep his hands very much up and off of them like, “Would someone pry this barnacle off of me, please?”

With time and familiarity, he’ll start getting used to their particular brand of platonic affection, but he’s still not really going to hug them back… They may get like a shoulder or head pat though (one-handed back pat if they’re too tall for the other things)

IF they ever get him to hug back, it would only be for big occasions, like if he hasn’t seen them in quite a while. In those cases, he’s got himself a firm hug to him. He won’t crush them or anything, but it’d be warm and snuggly.

Mammon

Not going to be used to it at first. He may not understand why they keep hugging him because, let’s face it, these guys probably don’t give each other hugs very often (with exception of the twins but they’re a special case).

At first, he’s going to be really tsundere about it. He’ll get all red and complain about the MC “hanging off” of him all the time… But eventually he’ll stop fighting it and just hug back.

“Tsk… If it’ll get ya off of me, I guess I’ll play along…”

After they start getting closer as friends, though, he might be the one to initiate a lot of them. If questioned, he’ll answer something lame like, “It’s only ’cause I know you’re gonna do it anyway!” But secretly (not so secretly) he really likes it. Hugging Mammon might not always be the most comfortable thing because he’s a little on the bony side in places, but he’s got grip. They’ll know he cares—a lot.

Leviathan

Is going to react like someone just dumped holy water or something on him at first, especially if he doesn’t feel like they’re that close. He’s a shut-in, after all. Direct contact with people of any kind isn’t going to be his thing...

He’s going to jump and be reeeaaallly stiff at first. It’s like he’s totally paralyzed each time they do it, all he can think about is, “Why?! Why do they keep doing this?? Is this what all normies do?!”

But with time and familiarity, he’ll relax into it and even greet them with open arms of his own. If they’re going to be his true friend, then he might as well, right?

Hugging Levi (after he gets comfortable with it) is a pretty casual affair. He doesn’t hold onto them particularly tight or anything, but he has a really calming smell to him? Like, a fresh ocean breeze with hints of beach sand? Hugging Levi can be kind of therapeutic, which is ironic given his emotional turbulence.

Satan

Satan’s met many people, likely from a lot of different backgrounds, so he’s not going to be all that put off by physical contact being used as a greeting. Some cultures just consider that sort of thing perfectly normal, and he’s good at adapting when need be.

Buuuut they’ll notice a difference between how he hugs them at first versus how he will after they get closer. Satan’s original hugs will feel pretty formal like, “Open arms now and put body here then close.” There’s no snuggle or embrace to it really, it’s like he’s just imitating a hug based off of some IKEA instructions he saw one time...

After they get close, especially after the whole magic book debacle, he’ll start putting a little more feeling into his hugs. It’s hard to describe because it’s not like he’d do all that much different, but they can just feel how much more accepting and happy their hugs make him, you know?

Like with Levi, a hug from Satan is pretty casual. He can feel oddly warm at times (due to the burning hatred within his soul), so he’ll probably make a pretty pleasant hug on chilly days. If the feel of a cozy sweater on an autumn day could be in an embrace, then that’s a hug from Satan.

Asmodeus

He loves huuuuuugs. Yes, please hug this man because he will never refuse!

Like Satan, he gets that some people are just used to using some kind of physical affection as a greeting, so he isn’t put off by it. Just know that if you hug Asmo hello, he may kiss your cheeks or something as a greeting back. He thrives on this kind of thing.

When they become closer, he’ll just glom onto them for any old excuse, really. Even if he isn’t trying anything to get them riled up (because you know he might do that occasionally). He just likes the excuse to snuggle the people he cares about.

Hugs from Asmo are pretty dang close to the pinnacle that hugs can get, he’s second only to Simeon (who I’ve said before is the King of Hugs. Period). They’re always just as tight as they need to be, and it’s like he knows all the best ways to stand or put his arms for maximum comfort. You will not find a better hugger in the House.

Beelzebub 

Beel isn’t one to refuse a hug, even if he doesn’t really understand why he’s getting one. He’s probably not going to connect that this is just how they like to greet people for a little while, but will get used to it nonetheless.

The closer they get, the tighter his hugs are going to become. At first, they’ll just be pretty casual and loose. But after they make a pact together, he’ll put more of a snuggle into it. And after everything with Belphie is said and done… oh boy...

Beel has the tightest hug in the House. Full stop. Even tighter than Mammon’s because he’s got all that extra muscle to him. He has to actually be reminded not to hug too tightly by the others all the time just so he doesn’t accidentally break the MC’s spine…

A hug from Beel is like being suffocated by pure affection. It’s warm, it’s comforting... it’s a lot. And he’ll happily keep it up for however long they want him to. The boy is used to being the primary cuddle-bug for Belphie, so he doesn’t mind adding the MC to the list of people who get extra long snuggles.

Belphegor 

The man, the myth, the legend, the guy who will steal all the hugs he can get and give zero shits about it. You want to hug him, MC? Go for it, just know he might not let go for a while...

To Belphie hugs are two things: A nice little bit of comfort in what’s surely a day he’d rather spend sleeping, and a chance to lean all his body weight on someone else because he’s a lazy piece of shit.

He’s not going to care if they want to hug him as a greeting, a goodbye, an insult, or because it’s Tuesday. The second he feels their arms around him, he’s in cuddle mode, and that’s it.

There are three variants of the Belphegor Hug: (1) the Nice Snuggle where he holds them close but gentle, (2) the Lazy Hug where he just throws his arms around them and only gets tight when they try to pull him off, and (3) the “I’m Tired” Hug where he just throws himself at them and they end up quite literally “wearing” his body because he lets his legs give out. Hug Belphie at your own risk because he will make the most of it each and every time.

For more hug-based content from me, check out Demon Brother Get a Tackle Hug and Undateables Get a Tackle Hug!

[akisunlovesnalu]

Alien Boy- Chapter 2

“You’re supposed to show me where to go.”

“I’m supposed to-” The blond stuttered incoherently. “I’ve never been outside of the Heartfilia estate before you kidnapped me!”

“Why not? The door was wide open!”

“The wall was wide open and that’s because you came crashing through it!!”

Or: Lucy Heartfilia's life is thrown into chaos and confusion when a strange creature bursts through her wall and destroys her family mansion.

Chapter 2:

“I think I figured it out”

“What?” Lucy growled.

The boy turned his head to the side curiously, raising an eyebrow at her aggressive response. “Why you hate me so much; It’s cuz of your room isn’t it?”

Lucy growled again, biting her tongue in irritation. They’ve only been walking a few hours, although to her it felt like days. The Heartfilia’s were a very wealthy family. As a way to ensure they were perfectly safe, her parents decided to place their mansion in the middle of the woods.

Not creepy at all.

Currently the two were treading through narrow tree paths, Lucy trying with all her might to get used to her annoying extraterrestrial companion.

Apparently his name was Natsu and he came from the planet Ishgar. His dad was a freaking Dragon and the last thing he remembered before he came to earth was himself and the rest of his ‘guild’ in the middle of a battle with powerful demon knights who sought to overthrow every planet in the galaxy and probably beyond...

Either this dude was playing a prank on her or he was just a very open book.

But seeing as he had a tail, could transform into whatever the hell that thing was, and manage to burn down her room with fire coming out of his body… that was the most normal thing he had told her so far.

Still, Lucy was very stubborn and in denial.

“There’s no way that’s true.” she had said, kicking her feet at a rock in frustration. “If that’s the case then you can’t possibly be an alien! That’s something that comes straight out of fairy tales!!”

“I never said I was an alien, my name is Natsu.” he stared at her like she was the stupidest person on earth before muttering “Weirdo” under his breath. Which was pretty surprising considering she was the ONLY PERSON ON EARTH THAT HE KNEW-

If you couldn't tell, Lucy was at the last straw.

“What? Are you hungry or something?” The boy glanced back at her, holding a branch aside in an attempt to move forward. Lucy stared back at him, an equal amount of confusion on her face.

“What are you talking about?”

“You said you were at the last straw. Ya hungry?” He asked again. Oh right, how could she forget. The dang alien could read minds. How much more cliche could this get?

“I thought I told you to turn that off!” She hissed. Natsu rolled his eyes, gesturing for her to continue walking as he impatiently bounced the branch he was holding.

“I told ya, I don’t read minds. You're just a weirdo who likes to talk to herself.” Not true by the way. Lucy couldn't possibly talk to herself since she normally has no one to talk to anyways.

“Weirdo~” She heard him taunt as he let the branch go. The blond flinched away, the sharp stick flying past her face and making her aware of the injury it would have caused. It probably would have only left a scratch but still, she glared at the boy in warning.

They continued to walk forward, it felt as if the moon had been illuminating the sky for days now. Lucy was so tired.

“You wanna take a break?” He asked smugly, halting his heavy footsteps and looking her up and down. The heartfilia girl was dressed in a tight pink t-shirt, small gray shorts that comfortably hugged her waist, and Natsu’s gigantic sandals. The forest was no place for bare human feet, no way would she risk hundreds of tiny rocks and twigs stabbing through her feet.

That, however, didn’t seem to stop the tiny rocks and splintered sticks from tangling themselves in her nappy hair. She most likely looked like a clown right now and it was obvious, Natsu was thriving off of that thought alone.

“Can we just- why am I even here right now?”

Here, as in currency right in front of an empty highway. It was hard to tell exactly what time it was, but by the lack of heavy amounts of sweat dripping off of Lucy’s figure and the small slimmer of sunlight peeking out behind parted trees and leaves, it was obviously close to sunrise.

A small furry bunny maneuvered its way around some trees on the other side of the street, catching the attention of the pink haired boy who finally decided to answer her question. “You’re supposed to show me where to go.”

“I’m supposed to-” The blond stuttered incoherently. “I’ve never been outside of the Heartfilia estate before you kidnapped me!”

“Why not? The door was wide open!”

“The wall was wide open and that’s because you came crashing through it!!”

The alien swished his tail irritably, crossing his arms in a childish manner. His lips perked up into a pout as he murmured: “What about before that?”

Lucy felt her eyes widen, stunned by his sudden shift in mood. It was beginning to get more and more confusing trying to figure out what his master plan was.

For one, he was way too stupid to come up with a briliant evil plan to dominate an entire planet. That only took her a few minutes to find out.

And secondly, he was just… too nice. Yes, he did break through her wall, burn down her room and kidnap her. (She would make sure to hold that against him) But throughout their whole exploration within the forest, he has been nothing but gentle with her. (Aside from a few teasing remarks and that branch from earlier) With the sincerity in his voice now, she couldn't help but soften her murderous glare.

“My dad has high surveillance cameras and security placed all throughout the estate.” She whispered, looking out towards the deserted street in a dream-like state. “I told you, my parents were paranoid. I wouldn’t have been able to get out if I tried”

Natsu took his time replying, observing the way her eyes darkened and her lips turned down into a frown. He felt himself doing the same thing. “What do ya think they were afraid of?”

“Afraid of…?” the girl silently repeated, snapping out of her thoughts and staring at a tree, unstably rocking its head from side to side. “I’m not sure. My father works a lot so…”

“Work?”

“Oh right” She rolled her eyes. “You’re an alien so I should probably explain. Work is basically a job that you apply for. By doing something beneficial to society you get paid in currency. That would help you buy essential needs like a house, a car, food, water, electricity- you get the idea”

Natsu made a sound of interest, looking at her with a burning curiosity. “Like a guild! What do your parents do?”

“Father…” Lucy chuckled bitterly. “Father used to work with momma at Eclipse, the world's most advanced space research building. My father owns it now and that's where he spends all of his time.”

The boy hesitated before speaking again. It seems that bringing up her mom is a sensitive topic. He’d have to keep that in mind for later. He opened his mouth to speak, pink locks blowing in the direction of the wind's ominous whispers.

“Well-”

“None of that really matters anyway.” The blond snapped, returning to the piercing glare that she wore earlier. Natsu clicked his teeth and swung his tail in annoyance. He sighed.

“What do you need me for?” she growled.

“Why’re you so pissy all of a sudden?” He barked. “It’s much nicer to be around you when you're not being a jerk.”

“That's the point you idiot!-”

“Well look what we have here” A dark voice chuckled from behind the two. They froze, goosebumps running down their arms as the wind took another sharp turn, forcefully bending the branches of various trees.

The blond one of the two began to panic, expertly running a series of excuses through her head while sneaking an attempt at opening her eyes. Natsu however went straight into a defensive pose, fist out in front of him as best he could with the cold breeze blocking his usual expert vision.

“W-were sorry if this is trespassing sir we were just-” the wind picked up, cutting her off in the middle of her sentence. Where on earth did all of this wind come from?

“Found you,” The man spoke again this time from… above them!? “E.N.D”

“Um…” Lucy backed away slowly, feeling her way behind a rocking tree. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes observing the view of what she assumed was a tornado. That’s what it had to be right? The whole place looked like it had just been hit by… a meteor. Grass had been pulled up off of the ground in several irregular spots while bushes littered the floor creating a scene similar to her room (minus the fire.) And who the heck was E.N.D?

“I-I think you’ve got the wrong person-”

“Lucy,” Natsu said, now standing protectively beside her. “Can you fight?”

“Can I-” The blond shook her head, glaring at the alien with malice. “Why the hell would I need to fight!?”

“Just answer me!”

“N-no” Lucy pursed her lips, holding her tongue in an attempt to silence her rebellious side. Not once since she’s met the boy had Natsu yelled at her in the way he just did. A surprising fact seeing as he threatened to destroy the world if she didn’t go with him. Using the great amount of common sense that the girl had been raised with, she shut her mouth, waiting for him to tell her what to do next.

“Stay close.” He finally spoke, grunting as the wind blew harder. Lucy nodded in understanding, excepting the way he gently pushed her behind him. Of course with the air being as angry as it was, the push was less than gentle.

“Why are you hiding, Natsu?” The man purred, his voice seemingly coming from every direction. She had thought she heard a growl erupt from within the pink-haired boy's throat but decided against registering the thought due to the fact that the wind had stopped.

Silence.

The air that had once revoked her vision and clouded her hearing had stopped.

There was no noise except for her and Natsu’s heavy breathing. The tree’s returned to their normal vertical forms, although some of them were stuck in a slightly tilted position. Natsu’s hair resembled a pile of dark pink cotton candy, a feat Lucy would have found funny if not for her rapidly beating heart. Besides, her own hair probably looked way worse. She had other things to worry about though.

It seems as if the man...had just left.

Great. Mission complete. Nice work. Crisis averted… right?

Wrong.

In the blink of an eye, a being that Lucy refused to believe had similar attributes to Natsu stood before them… well, hovered before them.

The girl wasn’t sure if she should be more shocked about his inhuman ability to float or the fact that he had just chopped down a very thick tree with a long, sharp, dangerous looking scythe.

His hair spiked aloft his thin shoulders with a few strands falling out of order, forming the shape of a bang. A strange blue symbol adorned his shoulders, snaking its way past his biceps and towards his midsection, stopping just above his belly button.

His deep, black, lifeless eyes fit perfectly with the crazed grin that had settled itself on his face. And of course in his hands, he held the strangely decorated scythe- Oh sweet baby Jesus, what the hell has her life become!?

“Oh my, what a mean look you’ve got there.” The man chuckled as he took in Natsu’s fierce glare. He set the sharp end of his scythe on the ground, leaning on the bottom of it with his hands propping up his chin. He rolled his eyes when Natsu refused to answer, instead turning his gaze onto the girl cowering behind him.

He raised an interested eyebrow, reaching out to take a strand of her hair between his fingertips. “Who’s your friend?”

Natsu slapped his hand away, growling and pushing Lucy further behind him with his tail. The girl complied, burying her face into his back and fisting the fabric of his vest. What the hell was happening!?

“Ah, whatever.” The man sat up, holding his weapon over his shoulders. “Zeref needs you back. Somehow your chip was broken and…” He grinned, hungrily licking his lips.

“Since I had been placed on Earth, it’s my job to bring you back.” He raised his hand, slowly pointing a long finger somewhere behind the boy. “Can’t wait for this promotion!”

And the wind picked up it’s speed again; this time aiming directly for Lucy. If he were a normal human being, Natsu would have missed it. He wouldn’t have seen the way the man's finger gestured behind him. He wouldn’t have smelled the slight shift in the air around them. He wouldn't have heard the subtle 'woosh' sound coming from his left.

But Natsu did.

He noticed all of these things and managed to get Lucy out of the way before the bastard in front of them was able to cause any severe damage. Key word: Severe. He may have pulled Lucy out of the way on time, but the damage was already done. Blood pooled down her pale arm, rushing away from the deep gash embedded in her shoulder. Natsu winced at the coppery smell. That would definitely leave a mark… At least until they found a healer close by.

“Bastard!” He growled. “Your opponent is me!” The man laughed, throwing his weapon over his shoulder and sending Natsu a maniacal grin.

“The names Erigor. And my opponent,” he repeated mockingly. “Is anyone who dares interfere!” He shot another sharp string of air at Lucy, this time aiming for her stomach. She hastily dodged, lucky enough for it to barely miss her by an inch.

Natsu sucked in a breath, turning to his opponent with threatening glare. “Fire Dragon's Roar!” He cried, letting loose a large breath of fire from his mouth. Lucy shrieked, jumping away in fear and falling flat on her butt. She stared at him in shock, gripping her heart as it continued to beat faster.

“F-Fire!” She cried, drawing the attention of both men. “Y-you just shot fire out of your mouth!”

Natsu’s jaw dropped in shock. “That’s what you're complaining about!?”

“What do you expect me to do!?” She snapped. “You just shot fire out of your mouth!”

“This dude has been attacking us with air since he showed up!”

“You can’t blame me! I’ve been seeing some pretty weird shit since you crashed through my wall and almost burned my house down!”

“Another reason why you shouldn't be so shocked that I can breathe fire!”

“Pay attention to the fight!” Erigor hissed, having taken that moment of distraction to target Lucy once again. Natsu snapped out of his momentary stupor and jumped in, somehow blocking the air with another ring of fire.

“As fun as this is,” The boy hopped around, making sure to stay close to Lucy but far enough to where he wouldn't get hit. “I think it’s time we end this.”

Erigor narrowed his eyes. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

He raised his arms above his head, moving them so that they form an ‘X’ and grinning down at the two. “Emera Baram!”

The air blew fast and cold. The sky around them turned gray as plenty of clouds jumbled together forming some weird circle shape.

Only in the distance was Natsu able to see the subtle peek of the sun. And just barely at that. Having never experienced something as simple as a thunderstorm, Lucy was in awe. That was until the wind speed picked up, barreling towards her and her alien companion at unimaginable speeds.

Her face felt like it was on fire. Like if she even attempted to unclench her tightly clenched jaw, it would be ripped right out of her face. She desperately struggled to cover her face, too scared to move any other part of her body in fear of some deadly injury. The girl let out a scream as little pieces of rocks and sticks flew around her, scratching as much of her exposed skin as it could. She could faintly hear Natsu scream out her name causing her to squint open one of her eyes.

Panic took over her mind as she saw just why Natsu sounded so afraid. There, hurling towards her at inhuman speeds was a tree. And no, not a small one that could rival a branch. This tree was huge in both width and height… and it was coming right at her…

And there was nothing she could do.

Nothing but watch and wait for her inevitable doom. Nothing but let small salty droplets of water pour from her eyes and mix around with the dirt and rock currently trying to kill her. She could do nothing but close her eyes as the tree blocked her vision of what could have been a beautiful sunrise. Not that she’d ever know. Because this was where she died.

How ironic. Facing two near death experiences two mornings in a row. She chuckled bitterly, the sound hidden beneath all of the raging wind before… it all stopped.

All of the noise, all of the pain and all of her worries. All of it just.. Stopped. And for a moment Lucy actually believed she was dead. That she may have been knocked out on impact and her soul instantly transported to wherever it went when she died. But that wasn’t the case. Because if it was… why the hell was it so cold?

As she peeked open one of her eyes, she finally understood just why everything had suddenly been frozen to the spot. And not just metaphorically. No… everything was literally frozen in ice. Including the man that had come so close to ending her life.

Lucy let out a sound somewhere between a relieved sigh and a sob. Without warning her shaking legs collapsed beneath her, dirt painfully rubbing against her cuts. She shuttered, inhaling and exhaling loudly as Natsu cautiously made his way towards her.

“Thank goodness...” She trembled, hearing him release a shaky breath. While she struggled to keep her breathing in check, Natsu kneeled in front of her, ripping the sleeve off of his left arm and tying it around the blond’s injured shoulder. She flinched and stiffened but allowed Natsu to continue.

As she finally calmed down Natsu helped her stand up, turning around with a wide grin on his face.

“Thanks a bunch, Gray.”

Ch.1

Ch.3

[dakotacrisis]

Adrien’s Sick Day

(This dumb idea would not let me sleep. Adrien gets sick but refuses to miss school so chugs a bottle of Nyquil but starts crashing when he gets to school. Shoots back an energy drink to keep awake. Disassociates so hard he comes to with a new fencing trophy and a girlfriend.)

---

Adrien was sick. He never got sick easy but he was sicker than a dog today. His temperature was through the roof and the only medicine in the house was a bottle of Nyquil.

“Sounds like an easy day in.” Plagg said. “Chug it down and let’s get back to bed.”

Adrien shook his head. “I wanna go to school.”

“School?” Plagg rested on top of his head, “Kid, do you really want to attempt class today?”

“I have already missed normal human interaction for the first fifteen years of my life. I am not missing another day!” Adrien chugged down the Nyquil. “Let’s go!”

Despite Plagg’s protests to stay inside Adrien collected his bag and headed to school. He was doing well up until he stepped inside and the medicine really started kicking in. Right...the medicine wasn’t the non-drowsy kind.

“Hey dude,” Nino clapped him on the back to which Adrien almost fell face first into floor. “Dang, what’s wrong with you?”

“Fever. Medicine. Sleepy. Not missing class.” Adrien rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Got any coffee?”

“I have this.” Nino pulled out an energy drink from his bag. “You can have it if you really want it but I think you should just go home.”

“No, I’m fine. Hand it over.” Adrien took the drink and walked with Nino into class.

In the blink of an eye Adrien was no longer in class but back home in his room holding a half empty cup of boba. “What the...” Adrien looked around. “How did I...”

The sun was further down in the sky so it must be later. Oh god, where did he put his phone? On his desk was a new fencing trophy he didn’t remember earning. Hanging off the trophy’s miniature epee was the lucky charm Marinette had lent him.

This was strange. He checked the clock on his computer and was surprised to see that it was five in the evening. What had happened all day? He couldn’t remember a thing.

The sound of his phone ringing with a notification caught his attention. He rummaged around in his bag and pulled it out. The background on his phone had changed too. Instead of the picture of him and Nino it was him in his fencing uniform holding a trophy in one hand and his other arm wrapped around Marinette who was kissing his cheek.

Okay. What the heck happened today?

He went to his contacts and hit Nino’s number. Hopefully he could shed some light on this situation.

“Hey bro, what’s up?” Nino shouted over the roar of a crowd in the background, “You change your mind and want to come out to the party?”

“Party?” Adrien asked. “What party?”

“Well I guess it is turning more into a festival. I know Marinette said you should go home and rest but you sound a lot better. We’re currently out under the Eiffel Tower if you wanna stop by.”

“What festival? What’s going on?” Adrien couldn’t make heads or tails of what he was saying. He was fairly certain there wasn’t any parties or holidays today.

“Sorry dude, I can’t hear you.” Nino shouted over the noise, “Eiffel Tower! Come out! Have some fun!”

He hung up and Adrien was back at square one but with even more questions. Maybe there were some clues in his phone. He checked his pictures and saw that there were more pictures he had taken today. The picture he had set as his background was there. There was a group shot with the guys who held Adrien up on their shoulders. Those were taken around four.

Adrien checked his calendar and saw that he did have a fencing tournament today at three. So that’s where he must have been for that hour. And he ended up placing first while zonked out on cold medicine. Adrien wasn’t sure what to make of that. Either his opponents weren’t that great or he is just an amazing fencer when he’s blacked out. Neither sat right with him.

That’s still leaves the seven hours from school and the hour between when he won the tournament and when he got home. Wait! Plagg! Plagg was by his side the entire time! He’d know!

“Plagg!” Adrien called, “Plagg! Where are you?”

“Ugh, you said I could relax.” Plagg’s voice came from the cheese cabinet. Adrien opened it and saw Plagg nesting atop a large wheel of camembert. “Haven’t we done enough today?”

“Plagg, I don’t remember what happened today. You have to fill me in.”

“Seriously?” PLagg laughed, “You don’t remember a thing?”

“No! And it’s creeping me out!” Adrien pulled him out of the cabinet. “Please tell me what I did.”

“Well I don’t really know.”

“How do you not know? You hide in my bag all day!”

“I sleep in your bag all day. I only woke up for the akuma.”

“Akuma? When was there an akuma?”

“A bunch of akumas. We had another Scarlet Akuma pandemic going on before you ran off to go fencing. You and Ladybug were really struggling for a while there until your doppelgangers showed up. Something happened after the akumas got purified but I was tired and bored at that point and stopped paying attention.”

“No! Plagg, I need to know what happened! And what do you mean by doppelgangers?”

“Oh right, bunny girl brought future you and Ladybug back in time to help with the akumas.”

“My future self! Future Ladybug?!” Adrien was going to throw himself off a building. He had completely missed meeting his future self and seeing what Ladybug looked like grown up. She could have only gotten more beautiful.

“Yeah, it was trippy.” Plagg said. “That’s all I remember though. After you transformed back you had to go to fencing and I stayed in your locker resting.”

“So you don’t know anything else? Not even about this?” Adrien showed him the picture of Marinette kissing him.

“Awe, finally got that girlfriend of yours I see. But no. No idea.”

“You’re awfully helpful.” Adrien sighed. He needed answers. He wasn’t gonna be able to focus until he filled in the blanks from today. He got online and started combing through the footage from the akuma attack. Plagg wasn’t kidding. This was the most akumas Adrien had ever seen. It looked as if half of Paris had been infected.

Him, Ladybug, and some of the other heroes were fighting against them but losing ground fast. A shining portal opened up and...holy crap. It really was his future self walking alongside a grown up Ladybug. Bunnix also joined them. The footage sped by as the heroes, future and present fought side by side. Adrien had always thought that he and Ladybug were a well oiled machine but seeing their future counterparts fight made them look like fish flopping on a deck. It was as if they were thinking about each other’s moves five steps ahead.

There was an eruption of white butterflies as the akumas were purified. The people cheered. Future Chat grabbed Future Ladybug and spun her in the air in victory. And then...oh…present Ladybug grabbed present Chat and kissed him. Seriously?! Another kiss he couldn’t remember!

“PLAGG!” Adrien shouted, “YOU SAID NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED!”

“Nothing did!” Plagg shouted back.

“LADYBUG KISSED ME! THAT’S NOT NOTHING TO ME!”

“How is this any different then the other times she kissed you and you forgot?”

“Y’know what--!”

“Can’t hear you. Napping.” Plagg started snoring loudly.

Adrien sighed. He turned his attention back to the screen.

There was only more cheering as the two kissed. Wait. So he kissed Ladybug and Ladybug kissed him back and they both remember so why had Marinette been kissing him in his fencing picture? Once again, more questions.

The future miraculous holders went back through the portal. His present self and Ladybug waved to the crowd then vaulted out of frame. According to the akuma report online that was from 12:40 to 2:55. Another two hours accounted for. Yet it was the minutes in between that seemed to hold all the answers.

Adrien grabbed his school bag and dumped it out looking for more answers. There had to be something else. All of it looked pretty normal. Books, homework assignments, a couple empty containers of camembert, and a few loose papers. He picked up one and saw it was an excerpt of a script. A Midsummer Night’s Dream? What was this doing in his bag? They were supposed to start their Shakespeare period in literature class so it wasn’t so out of place.

The assignment was to recreate a scene from one of Shakespeare’s plays. At the top of the page was Adrien’s name as well as Marinette’s. He guessed they must have gotten partnered up. Maybe he should try calling her to figure out what was going on.

He picked up his phone and searched for Marinette’s contact, her name in his phone had been changed to Girlfriend with a bunch of sparkly hearts around it. So apparently she was his girlfriend now, according to his phone at least. He called her but the call went to voicemail. Okay, maybe Alya knows. He called her next and was relieved when she answered.

“Hey lover boy!” Alya was shouting over the same crowd as Nino had been, “Nino said you called. Feeling better already?”

“Alya, you have to tell me what I did today.”

“What?”

“What did I do while I was at school? I can’t remember.”

“How do you not remember?”

“I was zonked out on cold medicine! I don’t even know how I got home let alone how I won a fencing trophy and got a girlfriend in the past few hours.”

“Wow. Just...wow. I knew you were kinda loopy today but I figured you’d remember confessing to Marinette. Girl was over the moon.”

The memories tickled right in the back of Adrien’s brain but he just couldn’t get to them. They had been washed away in a tidal wave of medicine and energy drink. He needed answers. He needed to talk to Marinette. “Are you all still by the Eiffel Tower?” Adrien asked.

“Yeah, you coming out?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there in a few.” Adrien hung up and grabbed his coat. He felt much better physically than he had that morning which was nice. The walk to the Eiffel Tower gave him plenty of time to think about what it was he was missing. There was a significant piece of the puzzle missing, the one piece that would make the rest of the day make sense. If only he could figure out what it was!

He found his friends and everyone cheered when they saw him and pulled him into their circle. Standing with Alya was Marinette. Face alight with a smile and laughing. She turned when she felt Adrien’s eyes on her and her smile grew.

“Hey, I thought I told you to go home and rest. Or was it that you didn’t want to miss out on all the fun?” She grabbed his hands, “I suppose I’ll let it go this time seeing as how today was very taxing and we could do with some fun after that Scarlet Moth fiasco.”

“Yeah, about that,” Adrien said, “Can we talk somewhere a little quieter?”

“Sure,” She pulled on his hands as she led him away from the group. Their classmates whistled and teased as the couple left. When they were far enough away from the noise and people Marinette spoke to him, “What is it you want to talk about?”

“Right um…” Adrien felt heat climbing up his neck, “So I was kinda really sick this morning and I took a bunch of drowsy cold-medicine that I tried to counteract with an energy drink and now I don’t remember anything that happened today. Nothing whatsoever.”

Marinette stared at him, her wide, unblinking baby blue eyes piercing through his skull. “Are you joking?”

“No. I swear I am not. I’ve put together some of what happened but there are some things that I don’t understand like how um, you know, how you and I…” He looked down at his feet, mortified that he had to have this conversation with her. He felt like he was breaking her heart or something.

“You dumb kitty.” Marinette bonked the top of his head, “That explains a lot actually. I’ve always known you to be kinda spacey but today was something else. How is it that when you’re out of it you can still function as a human being?”

“Marinette?” Adrien looked up at her, “What did you call me?”

Marinette sighed and motioned for him to sit down on the bench. “Alright, so this morning when class started…”

*Earlier that day*

“Did that help at all?” Nino asked Adrien as they sat down for class.

“I guess we’ll see,” Adrien almost missed his seat when he went to sit down, “So far it is a rousing success!”

“I really think you should just go home, dude.” Nino shook his head. “I think the caffeine just made this worse.”

“Nah!” Adrien corrected himself and slid himself into his seat, “I am fine! Look how fine I am! I am super fine!”

“Sure are.” Nino snickered, he couldn’t help it. His best friend was essentially high as a kite right now.

Everyone took their seats as Ms. Bustier began the lesson. “For this unit we will be focusing on William Shakespeare. I figured we’d start off with something fun so I want everyone to get into pairs or small groups and perform a scene from any Shakespeare play you would like. Group up and figure out what you’re performing in class today. Go over your lines and we’ll do the actual performances tomorrow. Try not to do really long ones. Have fun!”

Immediately everyone around the room started pairing off. “Hey Adrien,” Alya grabbed his attention, “How’s about you and Marinette team up? You would make a wonderful Romeo and Juliet.”

“But I wanted us to do Romeo and Juliet, babe.” Nino pouted.

“That’s fine, Alya. You two can have Romeo and Juliet.” Marinette told her, her face tinted a cute pink. “Adrien and I can do something else.”

“Hernia!” Adrien shouted, “You can be Hernia and I’ll be Lightsaber!”

“What?” The other three teenagers stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, that play, the one with the donkey head?” Adrien mimicked large donkey ears on his head.

“Oh! I got it!” Marinette said, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream. You want us to be Hermia and Lysander.”

“Yeah! Those two!” Adrien nodded, “Hernia and Lightsaber.”

“Adrien, sweetie,” Alya looked at him with an amused smile, “Their names are Hermia and Lysander. Not Hernia and Lightsaber.”

“Got it. Got it.” Adrien continued nodding so hard he looked like a bobblehead. “We can be them.”

“Alright, I’ll find us a scene to do.” Marinette started looking for a good scene. They eventually agreed to do the opening scene when Hermia and Lysander plan to runaway together. Marinette was being super giggly through the reading which made Adrien start laughing which made her giggle more until they were in a perpetual loop of laughter.

When class ended everyone got up to move onto the next class. Nino and Alya went on ahead leaving Marinette and Adrien alone still chuckling over their inability to be serious during their scene.

“It may be the fact that I was laughing through the whole thing but I have to confess that I have no idea what Lysander was saying.” Adrien squinted at the text before shoving it in his bag. “Did you?”

“It’s pretty simple actually,” Marinette said, “The couple are lamenting that none of Hermia’s choices that she was given from Theseus let her be with Lysander. Lysander though figures that they don’t have to follow their rules and talks Hermia into leaving Athens with him and getting married where the Athenian laws don’t apply.”

“I wish I could do that.” Adrien sighed.

“Do what?”

“Runaway with the love of my life. I have this whole plan with an island and a hamster but I know you’d never go with me.” He slumped, looking utterly defeated. “Why don’t you wanna go with me?”

“Love--love--love--love of your what? Runaway? Me and you? To an island? With hamsters!” Marinette was stammering as she tried to piece together what it was Adrien had just confessed to her. Was this really happening?

“Oh wait,” Adrien frowned, “I meant my lady.”

“Huh?”

“Ladybug is so pretty…” Adrien murmured dreamily, “She’s so awesome but she only sees me as a tomcat which--just--boo! I love her! Why doesn’t she see that?  My spotty lady! Buggy boo! I love her spots and her eyes and her pigtails…”

His green eyes turned to Marinette and batted a hand against Marinette’s hair. “Just like your pigtails.” He muttered, “You remind me a lot of Ladybug. You can be my Maribug!”

Tomcat? In love with Ladybug? No...there was no way. Surely someone like Adrien couldn’t also be her dorky partner in crime fighting.

“Hey Adrien,” Marinette smiled nervously, “Why do you think that Ladybug thinks you’re a tomcat?”

“Because I am a cat!” He stated proudly. Then his expression soured. “Or as Ladybug says, I’m a bad kitty that needs to stop flirting with her cause they’re working and she likes someone else. It’s sad that she likes someone else. I wish she could like me…”

Yep. Definitely Chat Noir. Although Marinette had never called him a bad kitty before. Chastised him for flirting an inappropriate moments? Yes. But she never berated him. She’d have to have a talk to him later as Ladybug.

WAIT! Chat Noir is Adrien! Adrien is Chat Noir! The love of her life is also her partner! Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy! Crap! Calm down, Marinette! More important things to focus on right now!

She looked over at Adrien who was still pouting like a sad little kitten. She put an arm around his shoulders. “Well I got some good news for you, kitty. I know who Ladybug is really in love with.”

“Really?!” Adrien looked at her with stars in her eyes, “Who? I’m gonna whoop their butt if they mistreat her!”

“Ladybug has a crush on Adrien Agreste.”

“Boo! He sucks!”

“Dummy, Adrien is you. Ladybug likes you.”

“Oh...SHE DOES?!” He nearly screamed and Marinette clamped a hand over his mouth. He moved his head away from her, gaping at the information. “How do you know that?”

“Because that’s who I have a crush on.” Marinette’s cheeks felt entirely too warm. When she looked at Adrien there was absolutely nothing going on behind those big green eyes of his.

“Adrien?” She waved a hand in front of his face? “Goodness, you silly kitty, you are really out of it, huh? Give it a moment. It’ll come to you.”

Marinette started counting in her head. She got to one hundred and seventeen before Adrien finally perked up like a meerkat. “Ladybug?!” He pointed at her.

“There it is.” She ruffled his hair, “I’m guessing you’re happy?”

“I--I--”

BANG!

*Present*

“Then that’s when Scarlet Moth and all the other akumas hit and we went to got fight them. Our future selves showed up to help kick some butt. We kissed. Then we went back to school so you could get to your fencing tournament. You won. You looked pretty tired so I walked you home after but you insisted we stop for boba first so we kinda went on an impromptu boba date. Got you home then I came out to celebrate with everyone about today’s akuma win.” Marinette finished, “Did that fill you in well enough?”

“So you are…”

“Yep.”

“And you like me?”

“Also yep.”

“And I somehow managed to do all this while disassociating to the point of amnesia?”

“Apparently so.”

“I am never mixing Nyquil and Red Bull again.”

“Turned out okay in the end though, right?” Marinette flashed him a bright smile.

As all the information settled within him Adrien smiled back and kissed her. She squeaked for a second not expecting it but eagerly kissed him back. “I’ll take that as a yes.” She giggled. She stood up and pulled him to his feet. “Come on, kitty, let’s go have some fun.”

*The next day*

“Hey bugaboo,” Adrien entered her room holding a hot cup of tea, “Sorry for getting you sick. Probably wasn’t a good idea to have kissed you so many times while I had a cold.”

Marinette blew her nose. “Worth it.”

[citrus-cactus]

Finished the story of Psychonauts 2 last week! It was really good. Like, REALLY, really good. I don’t have anything profound to say, but here are my thoughts if you wanna read ‘em. Obviously there are SPOILERS BELOW, so click at your own risk if you haven’t played into post-game! (FWIW, I HIGHLY recommend playing this game as spoiler-free as possible. And play the original, while you’re at it!).

Here’s a pretty tame spoiler that I don’t think anyone will mind me sharing though: RAZ IS A CUTE. JUST LOOK AT HIM:

Things I appreciated:

Raz asking permission before entering almost every brain

PET THE GOATS

BOBBY DANCE

Getting to see Whispering Rock a couple of different ways! Actually, the theme of showing events from multiple perspectives (and the different forms of trauma resulting from certain events) was really good.

Raz helping the Psychic Seven help themselves. The game is so gentle with these old damaged hippies. SO GOOD.

QUEEPIE AND FRAZIE and just… all the Aquatos, man. What a group.

The family being given space to grieve together (important) before yeeting their middle boy into the whirlpool (badass). And them still having a lot to unpack/figure out post-game. It’s complicated, man! Of COURSE they wouldn’t have it all figured out yet!

Larry and Pam! LOL.

SAM BOOLE, WTH. Best dialogue tree in the game??? XDDDD

WHOMST in-universe put the graffiti on the back side of the funicular? Oleander?? :O

I have not finished the Scavenger Hunt yet, so idk if Raz gets his clothes back. I’m betting not *shakes psychic fist at Norma* XD

Powers and combat were all really cool!

ANIMATION! ALSO!! REALLY!!! GOOD!!!!!

I’M STILL LOSING MY DANG MIND OVER RAZ’S ARCHETYPE, good god. Double Fine, you mad geniuses, how DARE you stage a Zim/Gir reunion in the year 2021??? If anyone has ever equipped the pin that mutes that delightful little paper lad, I cannot emphasize enough how dead you are to me XD

I thought Cassie sounded a little like Mona Marshall?? The credits proved me wrong, but there were several moments I thought “…maybe??” (I have a much easier time ID’ing her when she’s playing a boyish character than a woman, whoops!)

So much symbolism in the brains! “Subtle” is maybe the wrong word to use, but between some of the throwaway dialogue, the different subsections in each, and the different set designs, most of the mental states just felt more… complex? nuanced? than the first game.

I don’t actually know if I could pick a favorite level! Compton’s Cookoff was definitely the most unique (I would have appreciated the option to try the food challenges again, but “getting the best time” is obviously NOT THE POINT, so kudos to the game making it about the story/character and not about the player here!), and I really enjoyed the paper-and-book-aesthetic of Cassie’s! Bob’s boss battle was one of the most poignant, but the 60’s psychedelic aesthetic and Nona’s different layers were really creative and fun. I also liked that we got a few different styles for Raz (especially in the 2D sections!) but I always could have used more!

On that note though, CENSORS! IN!! SEQUINS!!! XDDDDDDD

THE MUSIC!!! My husband and I JUST realized that Peter McConnell scored the Sly Cooper series as well, so we have newfound RESPECT and AWE for this guy’s ability to write absolutely fantastic music in so many distinct styles and genres. Both of the songs w/ lyrics also slap.

The return/spiritual successor of Goggalor (Pootie-lor???). Amazing. Incredible. Did not expect it, loved it for how narratively important it was. The ending in general just made me quite emotional.

The post-game conversation between Truman and Lilli. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it absolutely RADIATES Tim Schafer dad/real-life daughter energy.

The Grulovia level was a really interesting way to introduce a villain. Based on every level previous, I was actually prepared for the game to offer some sympathetic facet of Gristol (such as finding out the ride was something he had been conditioned to think from a lifetime of hearing an idealized version of the story from his parents, and it was somewhere he would go to rationalize his actions despite not really believing them… or something), but obviously the longer you spend there, the more you realize it’s something he constructed himself, and he is actually delusional (er, delugional) about Maligula and his family’s legacy. Really sets up an interesting parallel with Raz, in a way. Gristol’s mental state is essentially that of a child… but Raz is an ACTUAL child, and demonstrates more maturity, empathy and understanding than both Gristol the kid (see the Mental Vaults) and Gristol the adult. Kind of amazing he was able to fool a whole building full of psychics for as long as he did (and I guess he was a fine mail clerk too??), but tl;dr I like how the game’s “true” villain is the only one who is unable to change/experience any sort of remorse for his actions (maybe the jury’s still out on Dr. Loboto though XD)

A little concerned that Hollis said Gristol’s fate was to be “experimentation,” and only corrected to say “therapy” when questioned by Raz. UM. This game does make it part of its point showing us the flaws in the Psychonauts, both as an organization and as individuals, leaving them in a bit of a mortally grey area (who are clearly mismanaging their resources if they have a whole Motherlobe of agents doing who-knows-what and their primary source of funding is running summer camps for psychic children). I am… definitely concerned about what Hollis said (as well as Otto’s assertion that he would be picking up where the Seven left off!), but I guess I can accept it as part of the theme that no one and nothing is perfect. Maybe that’s sequel fodder though??? (hey, I can dream about Psychonauts 3, can’t I? XD)

Genuinely though, I’m just… SO PROUD OF RAZ. He’s going to be such a good agent someday!!!*cries forever over one begoggled psychic acrobat son boy*