#ocs.iyo

[song-of-the-rune]

Dicking around with perchance generator and my necromancer oc trio

But here's a highlight because I did NOT try for this one lmao.

Rikkal: I feel awful about killing you.

Kaztik:

Rikkal: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

Inspiration because Iyo isn't very developed yet

Iyo: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

---

Iyo: Hold on, I can explain!

Rikkal: Really? Can you now?

Iyo: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

---

Iyo: I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.

---

Iyo: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

---

Iyo: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

---

Can't shut the fuck up

Cop: What are your names?

Rikkal: Don't tell them, Kaztik.

Cop, writing: Kaztik...

Rikkal: Crap.

Kaztik: Nice going, Rikkal.

Cop:

Kaztik: Uh oh.

---

Rikkal: Kaztik, I need some advice.

Kaztik: You need advice from ME?

Rikkal: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

---

Rikkal: Are you ever going to listen to me?

Iyo: Yes. Absolutely.

Rikkal: When?

Iyo: When you're right.

---

Rikkal: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Rikkal: And atoms never touch each other.

Rikkal: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

---

Iyo: Rikkal is forbidden from monologuing.

---

Rikkal: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Iyo: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

---

Rikkal, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

---

Okay but fr

Rikkal: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Iyo: You sleep with a teddybear.

Rikkal: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

---

Iyo: What have you done with Rikkal?

Kaztik: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

---

Iyo: Look, Kaztik, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

---

Kaztik: When do you usually go to sleep?

Rikkal: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

---

Rikkal: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

---

Kaztik: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall?

Rikkal: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Kaztik: That's not what I asked.

Rikkal: That is all the information I have.

---

Kaztik: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---

*At the police station*

Kaztik: Hi, I’m here for Rikkal.

Police officer: Who’s Rikkal?

Kaztik: Ah, you must be new.

---

Rikkal: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Iyo: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Rikkal: Obviously. Now, Kaztik, pass the shovel.

---

Rikkal: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

---

Iyo: Rikkal, I am questioning your sanity...

Kaztik: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

---

(Iyo introduced them but)

Kaztik: Pfft, you should meet Rikkal, they're such a tsundere.

Iyo: They... they just stabbed you.

Kaztik: So cute.

---

Kaztik: What happened to your nose?

Rikkal: I used it to break some guy's fist.

---

Kaztik: Why would you do that?

Iyo: Because I feel guilty.

Rikkal: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

---

Rikkal: Go big or go home!

Iyo: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

Rikkal: I'm going big!

---

Rikkal: No thanks.

Rikkal: I'm god.

---

(in his own damn lab)

Rikkal: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Kaztik: What was that?

Rikkal: The sound of someone else's problem.

---

Dumbass sibling energy

Iyo: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Kaztik, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

---

Kaztik: I wish I had more enemies.

Iyo: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

---

*at a zoo*

Kaztik: What are they in for?

Iyo: Kaztik, this isn't prison.

Kaztik: So they can leave?

Iyo: No, but-

Kaztik, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

---

Iyo: There. How do I look?

Kaztik: Like a cheap French harlot.

Iyo: French?!

---

Iyo: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Iyo: Not you Kaztik. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

---

Kaztik, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Iyo: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

---

Iyo: Why don't I like this person?

Kaztik: I don't know. Maybe it's because they keep stealing your thunder.

Iyo: Maybe it's because their name is "Rikkal". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous?

Kaztik: No.

Iyo: That's because your name is "Kaztik".

---

Iyo: We have fun, don’t we, Kaztik?

Kaztik: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

---

Rikkal, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Iyo: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Iyo: Here you go.

Rikkal:

Iyo:

Kaztik: Why am I here?

---

Kaztik: I drink to forget but I always remember.

Iyo: You're drinking orange juice.

---

Kaztik: Can I have some water?

Iyo: *starts chugging their water bottle*

Iyo: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Iyo: *spills water all over themself*

Iyo, coughing: I don't have any water.

---

Iyo: How are you today?

Kaztik: Please don’t make me think about my life.

---

Iyo: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Kaztik: Navy blue isn't your color.

Iyo: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Kaztik*

---

And dumbass couple energy

Iyo: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Rikkal: We have three actually-

Kaztik: Pick your favorite.

---

Kaztik: You have to apologize to them Rikkal.

Rikkal: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

---

Kaztik, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Rikkal: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

---

Rikkal: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Kaztik: You mean you stabbed them?

Rikkal: They ran into my knife.

---

Kaztik: Happy birthday Rikkal! I'm your gift!

Rikkal, whispering to Iyo: Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

---

Rikkal: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Kaztik: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~

Rikkal: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Iyo, recording: This is so cute.

---

Rikkal: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

---

Rikkal: There's no way they like me back.

Iyo: Kaztik would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Rikkal: Kaztik would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

---

Rikkal: I warned you.

Rikkal: I'm perfect.

---

Iyo: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Iyo, gesturing to Rikkal and Kaztik fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

---

Rikkal: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Rikkal: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Kaztik.

---

Kaztik: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Rikkal: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Kaztik:

Rikkal: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Iyo: We know what you meant.

---

Kaztik: We’re getting married, bitches!

Rikkal: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

---

Kaztik: Even Rikkal and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich.

Rikkal: I mistook them for a garbage can.

---

AND dumbass friend energy

Rikkal: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

Iyo: What?

Rikkal: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

---

Rikkal: Are you busy?

Iyo: No.

Rikkal: Want to do something?

Iyo: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

---

Iyo: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group.

Rikkal: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?

Iyo: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

---

Iyo: So, Rikkal is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Kaztik: Why?

Iyo: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Rikkal, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

---

Rikkal: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Kaztik!

Iyo: So Kaztik knows about this?

Rikkal, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

---

THE FUCKING MURDER SCENE

Rikkal: Can I ask you for a favor?

Kaztik: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Rikkal: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

---

Rikkal: I could kill you if I wanted.

Kaztik: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

---

Kaztik, staring lovingly at Rikkal: I would die for you.

Rikkal, doing their own thing: Then perish.

---

(This one needs context but yes still the same murder scene)

Rikkal: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Rikkal: *glares at Kaztik*

Kaztik: Well, sorry I have morals!

---

Iyo: You should have realised, Rikkal, if Kaztik didn't kill you, we would.

---

(...yeah same here)

Kaztik: Kill me nowwwww.

Rikkal: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

---

(...LOOK-)

Iyo: Remember, Rikkal, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Rikkal: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

---

Kaztik: Rikkal, no.

Rikkal: Rikkal, yes.

---

Rikkal: Kaztik, do you love me?

Kaztik: Of course I do!

Rikkal: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Kaztik: Well, of course I… would…

Rikkal: I mean something really, really—

Kaztik: Rikkal, what did you do?

---

This could be any of them tbh

Kaztik, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

---

Kaztik: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Rikkal: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

---

Adjusting to undeath is hard okay?

Iyo: Heyyy Rikkal, how’s your… drink??

Rikkal: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee.

Iyo: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker*

Rikkal: *Looks to coffee maker*

*Cement sitting beside the coffee maker*

Rikkal:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

[song-of-the-rune]

Saw this and decided to do it for some ocs

HEY THAT FUCKING HURTS. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Honestly I don't think I can see him dying heroically. If the irony score were higher, I'd say that the answer is yes, the party did make sure to lock the door after they snuck in to kill him. He thought he was asking Kaz that question, he didn't turn to see who it was that entered behind him...

I think Eshrie is delirious. Iyo defended her to the last :') and that's meaning enough.

HEY NOW.

Got overconfident with the wrong person. That checks out. Death was probably deemed entirely legal.

Dying. What??? I didn't even know this was in here oh my god. Kairos you are a fucking professional how did you get the most CLASSIC poisoner death? I mean look at the chart, Suffering is so high, he clearly had the drinks switched on him.

[song-of-the-rune]

Been thinking about what's happening in the background with a few of my OCs (yes those ones) since the players have been avoiding them (whaaat? Avoiding rikky? AND Iyo, who was vampirically feeding on the party? Who could've forseen this) and.

Iyo and Eshrie are doing great, in the sense things are really looking up for them. Eshrie's learning to set healthy boundaries and Iyo's been helping her with it (the icebox is now exclusively to keep food fresh in, hooray, no more opening the fridge to find weird experiments). Iyo's been stagnating a bit with career attempts (well, she's found an in, but it's an unpaid internship type of situation), but the crew is getting by well enough (hard to fall behind on your house payments when the bank's been run out of town!) so it's frustrating but not as much of a stressor as it could be. Eshrie doesn't feel up to going out most of the time due to her curse, but she's fitting in surprisingly well in this town, at least better than she's used to, so she's happy. The hope is that once Iyo's done with the "trial run" with this guild, they can find someone who might be able to alleviate the worst of Eshrie's curse, although they don't know how possible that is yet so they're trying not to get their hopes too high.

Meanwhile Kaz and Rikky are a mess as usual. Rikky, as an antipaladin (basically), is oathbound not to care for anyone, but he's reached a point where he's not sure this relationship is just about manipulating Kaz anymore. Vents all his feelings on paper but since he never cleans up after himself Kaztik finds it. Kaz is so desperate to forgive Rikkal that he probably will despite having very complicated feelings about it. Oh he's still super angry but he wants to believe that Rikky wants a normal relationship as much as he does. While all this is happening, Rikkal's busy handing all his work off to the party making connections and trying to share his religion with anyone who'll listen on the side. Kaz is out of the worst of his depressive state and has started "eating" again (or the equivalent for a lich anyway, so tons of reading) so he's been selling the odd magic item when he feels like it, as well as making a few just for fun or to experiment with ideas.

[song-of-the-rune]

me? cringe on main? hell yeah buddy

Rikky: Prospit, Thief of Hope

Kaz: Derse, Page of Void

Iyo: Prospit, Witch of Mind

Eshrie: Derse, Bard of Doom

So they'd be a void session, but that's okay; they're not meant to be the heroes, after all.

Bonus sgrub session round with more OCs because why not!

Xylluna: Derse, Mage of Light

Firaga Tyraga: Prospit, Heir of Blood

Luke N. Thrope: Prospit, Sylph of Breath

Vokka: Prospit, Knight of Rage

Xiltharian Nightrune: Derse, Prince of Time

Wildclaw: Prospit, Maid of Heart

Yegroun: Derse, Rogue of Life

Jody: Derse, Seer of Space

[song-of-the-rune]

anyway back to our irregularly scheduled nonsense ocposting

rikky boy has the most food crimes of anyone even while he's still alive. I'm too lazy to list them all. there's a lot. they only get worse once he's a lich and stops having to worry about them killing him.

eshrie eats normally. she likes making cutesy shaped foods, like hello kitty pancakes. you know what she's the lorynthian inventor of hello kitty now. just for pancakes.

kaz is mostly normal about food too. bad habit of chewing on ice when he's angry though. but whatever, magic dentistry is affordable in this city.

iyo discovered sanguinarian vampires and decided that she's going on a red-liquids diet (wine, juice, smoothies) because it's funny. There are 0 sanguinarian vampires left in the world but she will convince people, for no reason, that she's the last one.

[song-of-the-rune]

trying to figure out what to do with Iyo. She's got vampire vibes and I know when she turned but I need to figure out how, because I made that exceedingly difficult in this setting... you can't get shunned by the gods of life and death because a necromancer cast a spell on you, so either she's only something similar to a vampire or I need to rework her background.

I might do a psychic vamp instead of sanguinarian.

[song-of-the-rune]

ok working on character sheets and new idea: iyo is just a shithead and has been secretly feeding rikky boy this the whole time:

Theatrical Mutagen The theatrical mutagen stimulates the creative centers of your brain. This causes your movements to become exaggerated and your voice to become clear. However, the erratic surges of inspiration overload your senses, making it difficult to focus on mundane tasks. (Duration: 1 hour)

[song-of-the-rune]

How do I pick what I'm gonna do though

Notes:

Rising Day: The day you became undead, for those who find that something worth celebrating. Usually but not always supplants a birthday if celebrated.

Iyo doesn't celebrate her Rising Day (and Eshrie doesn't have one)

Rikkal doesn't celebrate his birthday

I'm kinda just making bullet points as a poll hehe

player: starts looking for shady jobs that will pay lots of gold

me: "Yeah the fact that this entire group of crafters-and-definitely-not-necromancers-at-all have Klaxxi Paragon names is a coincidence I promise. No one is going to vivisect you to build a soulstone! No you'll be fine."

[song-of-the-rune]

also like. iyo doesn't even have a vocaloid cover theme song yet, and that's frankly unacceptable.

kiiinda want to make at least two more characters for the necromancer gang because that feels like the right size for that friend group

but idk who they are or their roles or dynamics

[song-of-the-rune]

back in oc-blorbo-vision tonight as well

another round now that I have the last member of this group (eshrie), threw in the party members who're ready for fun since I'm forcing them to live together

Emo Kid Eshrie

Rikkal: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*

Eshrie: You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Rikkal: I don't have time for their problems.

---

Roku: Stop failing.

Eshrie: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Eshrie: *Succeeds*

Eshrie: Dang it!

---

Iyo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

Torrgrin: Eyy, homie!

Roku: But then there's cootie...

Eshrie: Die.

---

Oh this is SO Torrgrin

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Rikkal: Thanks fam!

Roku: Oh no.

Kaztik: *cries* I love you too.

Eshrie: Sounds fake, but okay.

Iyo: *A flustered mess*

Torrgrin: Can I get a refund?

---

Torrgrin: What’s it like being tall?

Torrgrin: Is it nice?

Torrgrin: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Iyo: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Roku: It was one time!

---

Kaztik: Good. Thanks, dad.

Rikkal: You just called Torrgrin “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Kaztik: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Torrgrin: Do you see me as a father figure, Kaztik?

Kaztik: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Iyo: Hey! Show your father some respect!

---

Torrgrin: I hate Rikkal.

Kaztik: "Hate" is a strong word.

Torrgrin: I have strong opinions.

---

(I may actually send this player this because it's relevant to last campaign)

Torrgrin: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

---

Rikkal: Any tips on how to make someone like me?

Torrgrin: Try to make them laugh all the time.

Rikkal: Oh, wow! You actually help me for once, and it's even good advice!

Torrgrin: Yeah, the more they laugh, the more time they spend with their eyes closed, so it'd be easier.

---

Rikkal: Can I have your number?

Torrgrin, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

---

Look sorry I just love Rikky boy okay

Rikkal: You know, people treat me like a god.

Eshrie: How?

Rikkal: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

---

Rikkal: You are a solid 11/10.

Roku: Aw, thank-

Rikkal: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

---

(I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THAT THE GAME HAS MAGIC WAFFLES AND I'M USING THEM AS A REPUTATION PERK FROM IYO -)

Torrgrin: Can I get a waffle?

Roku and Rikkal: *fighting and yelling at each other*

Torrgrin: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

---

Iyo: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma?

Rikkal: Oklahoma City, bitch!

---

Roku, Literally a cat on multiple levels

Torrgrin, gently nudging Roku aside with their foot: Roku, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Roku, their eyes enormous: You kick Roku? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Torrgrin! Jail for Torrgrin for one thousand years!

---

(Did I mention his first death was to Go, who was Roku's previous life?)

Iyo: Awww, why don't you like cats, Rikkal? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love??

Rikkal: I don't know Iyo, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor.

---

(The only way they'd become friends)

Roku: I want a trip down memory lane.

Kaztik: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Roku's lap*

Kaztik: I heard you needed these?

Roku: YES! ALL OF THEM!

---

(This is just a core part of Roku's character lmao)

Torrgrin: Didn't you die?!

Roku: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

---

Kaz is also a favorite. they're all favorites but Kaz is a favorite

Kaztik: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

---

Eshrie: What are your three best qualities?

Kaztik: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Dicking around with perchance generator and my necromancer oc trio

But here's a highlight because I did NOT try for this one lmao.

Rikkal: I feel awful about killing you.

Kaztik:

Rikkal: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

Inspiration because Iyo isn't very developed yet

Iyo: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

---

Iyo: Hold on, I can explain!

Rikkal: Really? Can you now?

Iyo: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

---

Iyo: I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.

---

Iyo: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

---

Iyo: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

---

Can't shut the fuck up

Cop: What are your names?

Rikkal: Don't tell them, Kaztik.

Cop, writing: Kaztik...

Rikkal: Crap.

Kaztik: Nice going, Rikkal.

Cop:

Kaztik: Uh oh.

---

Rikkal: Kaztik, I need some advice.

Kaztik: You need advice from ME?

Rikkal: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

---

Rikkal: Are you ever going to listen to me?

Iyo: Yes. Absolutely.

Rikkal: When?

Iyo: When you're right.

---

Rikkal: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Rikkal: And atoms never touch each other.

Rikkal: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

---

Iyo: Rikkal is forbidden from monologuing.

---

Rikkal: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Iyo: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

---

Rikkal, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

---

Okay but fr

Rikkal: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Iyo: You sleep with a teddybear.

Rikkal: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

---

Iyo: What have you done with Rikkal?

Kaztik: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

---

Iyo: Look, Kaztik, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

---

Kaztik: When do you usually go to sleep?

Rikkal: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

---

Rikkal: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

---

Kaztik: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall?

Rikkal: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Kaztik: That's not what I asked.

Rikkal: That is all the information I have.

---

Kaztik: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---

*At the police station*

Kaztik: Hi, I’m here for Rikkal.

Police officer: Who’s Rikkal?

Kaztik: Ah, you must be new.

---

Rikkal: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Iyo: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Rikkal: Obviously. Now, Kaztik, pass the shovel.

---

Rikkal: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

---

Iyo: Rikkal, I am questioning your sanity...

Kaztik: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

---

(Iyo introduced them but)

Kaztik: Pfft, you should meet Rikkal, they're such a tsundere.

Iyo: They... they just stabbed you.

Kaztik: So cute.

---

Kaztik: What happened to your nose?

Rikkal: I used it to break some guy's fist.

---

Kaztik: Why would you do that?

Iyo: Because I feel guilty.

Rikkal: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

---

Rikkal: Go big or go home!

Iyo: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

Rikkal: I'm going big!

---

Rikkal: No thanks.

Rikkal: I'm god.

---

(in his own damn lab)

Rikkal: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Kaztik: What was that?

Rikkal: The sound of someone else's problem.

---

Dumbass sibling energy

Iyo: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Kaztik, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

---

Kaztik: I wish I had more enemies.

Iyo: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

---

*at a zoo*

Kaztik: What are they in for?

Iyo: Kaztik, this isn't prison.

Kaztik: So they can leave?

Iyo: No, but-

Kaztik, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

---

Iyo: There. How do I look?

Kaztik: Like a cheap French harlot.

Iyo: French?!

---

Iyo: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Iyo: Not you Kaztik. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

---

Kaztik, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Iyo: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

---

Iyo: Why don't I like this person?

Kaztik: I don't know. Maybe it's because they keep stealing your thunder.

Iyo: Maybe it's because their name is "Rikkal". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous?

Kaztik: No.

Iyo: That's because your name is "Kaztik".

---

Iyo: We have fun, don’t we, Kaztik?

Kaztik: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

---

Rikkal, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Iyo: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Iyo: Here you go.

Rikkal:

Iyo:

Kaztik: Why am I here?

---

Kaztik: I drink to forget but I always remember.

Iyo: You're drinking orange juice.

---

Kaztik: Can I have some water?

Iyo: *starts chugging their water bottle*

Iyo: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Iyo: *spills water all over themself*

Iyo, coughing: I don't have any water.

---

Iyo: How are you today?

Kaztik: Please don’t make me think about my life.

---

Iyo: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Kaztik: Navy blue isn't your color.

Iyo: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Kaztik*

---

And dumbass couple energy

Iyo: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Rikkal: We have three actually-

Kaztik: Pick your favorite.

---

Kaztik: You have to apologize to them Rikkal.

Rikkal: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

---

Kaztik, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Rikkal: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

---

Rikkal: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Kaztik: You mean you stabbed them?

Rikkal: They ran into my knife.

---

Kaztik: Happy birthday Rikkal! I'm your gift!

Rikkal, whispering to Iyo: Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

---

Rikkal: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Kaztik: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~

Rikkal: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Iyo, recording: This is so cute.

---

Rikkal: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

---

Rikkal: There's no way they like me back.

Iyo: Kaztik would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Rikkal: Kaztik would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

---

Rikkal: I warned you.

Rikkal: I'm perfect.

---

Iyo: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Iyo, gesturing to Rikkal and Kaztik fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

---

Rikkal: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Rikkal: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Kaztik.

---

Kaztik: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Rikkal: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Kaztik:

Rikkal: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Iyo: We know what you meant.

---

Kaztik: We’re getting married, bitches!

Rikkal: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

---

Kaztik: Even Rikkal and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich.

Rikkal: I mistook them for a garbage can.

---

AND dumbass friend energy

Rikkal: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

Iyo: What?

Rikkal: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

---

Rikkal: Are you busy?

Iyo: No.

Rikkal: Want to do something?

Iyo: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

---

Iyo: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group.

Rikkal: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?

Iyo: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

---

Iyo: So, Rikkal is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Kaztik: Why?

Iyo: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Rikkal, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

---

Rikkal: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Kaztik!

Iyo: So Kaztik knows about this?

Rikkal, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

---

THE FUCKING MURDER SCENE

Rikkal: Can I ask you for a favor?

Kaztik: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Rikkal: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

---

Rikkal: I could kill you if I wanted.

Kaztik: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

---

Kaztik, staring lovingly at Rikkal: I would die for you.

Rikkal, doing their own thing: Then perish.

---

(This one needs context but yes still the same murder scene)

Rikkal: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Rikkal: *glares at Kaztik*

Kaztik: Well, sorry I have morals!

---

Iyo: You should have realised, Rikkal, if Kaztik didn't kill you, we would.

---

(...yeah same here)

Kaztik: Kill me nowwwww.

Rikkal: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

---

(...LOOK-)

Iyo: Remember, Rikkal, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Rikkal: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

---

Kaztik: Rikkal, no.

Rikkal: Rikkal, yes.

---

Rikkal: Kaztik, do you love me?

Kaztik: Of course I do!

Rikkal: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Kaztik: Well, of course I… would…

Rikkal: I mean something really, really—

Kaztik: Rikkal, what did you do?

---

This could be any of them tbh

Kaztik, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

---

Kaztik: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Rikkal: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

---

Adjusting to undeath is hard okay?

Iyo: Heyyy Rikkal, how’s your… drink??

Rikkal: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee.

Iyo: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker*

Rikkal: *Looks to coffee maker*

*Cement sitting beside the coffee maker*

Rikkal:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.