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naughtyneganjdm · 2 months

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Good Luck Charm - Chapter 35

Summary: Negan tries to come to terms with the fact that Y/N is alive. Part of him still believes that he is having a hard time understanding reality, but after talking about his children he comes to a decision that he thinks we will be best for his family.

Characters: Negan, Y/N/reader (OC), Evie, Nathan, Judith, Gabriel, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39423063/chapters/146636404

Notes: I've had this ready for weeks, I just forgot to put it up. Thanks again to those that still take the time to read this! It will be over soon.

“You’ve been quiet,” Y/N whispered, her fingers drawing circles over the center of Negan’s chest while she played with the dark curls of hair that were there. “That’s not normal for you. I could say things have changed, but considering how you wouldn’t shut up when you first got here, I’d say that you being quiet is a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing, it’s just…I’m starting to wonder if I’m dead now,” Negan inhaled sharply having her lift her head up from his chest to give him a disappointed look. Especially since he had already told her that he thought she was real. “I know I said I thought you were real and I still do. Mostly. It’s just…this is fucked up Y/N. After I thought you died, this has all just been too perfect. You have to understand why my brain is having a hard time. Especially after all the shit I went through.”

“I don’t think this would be my definition of perfect,” she retorted, lifting her head enough to look around The Sanctuary. Holding her hand out, it had Negan looking at the area around them and she wasn’t wrong. This was a shithole. And they were laying in the one part that she managed to clean up a small amount. Lowering her head back down onto his shoulder, she outstretched her hand and allowed her fingertips to sweep over Negan’s neck where the scar was left from Rick cutting his throat. It had him inhaling sharply and his eyes came to a tight close. “More so a case of just being lucky. Both of our stories seem a little like they are bullshit.”

“How so?” Negan grunted, his eyes opening again when her fingers dragged down over the center of his chest. “Mine is completely honest. Yours is the one that sounds like an extravagant thriller film. And you being a little mini super soldier now…?”

“So most people get their jugulars cut and live?” Y/N reminded him of what he had told her about what happened to him and he huffed. “Especially in this day in age? My story seems farfetched, but so does yours. And yet…” she took her time to think things out. “They are both real.”

“Fucking touché. I’m just saying. It’s crazy to think that the one day I sneak out of Alexandria to try and see if there something more for our children I get here and I find you,” Negan stressed, his Adam’s apple bouncing with his voice raspier than normal. “I can’t be that lucky.”

“It’s one day of luck for you,” she reminded him, pushing up to balance her weight so she could look down at him. “For me, it’s been months. I would stay here for days on end, go back to the farm to get supplies and then come back. Just hoping that I would find something that would lead me back to you and the children. So it may be the perfect story for you, but for me, it was me being here every day getting that much closer to giving up.”

Instead of responding, Negan just frowned and swallowed down anything else that he wanted to rebuttal with because he could see that she was getting emotional about the whole thing.

“Perfect for me would have been coming back here, going to the farm and seeing my husband there with our two children doing exactly what he promised me,” she stressed and he felt an ache at the center of his chest realizing that she was right. “Instead…”

“You come here for months and then find me with a disappointing haircut where you knock my ass unconscious,” Negan rumbled with a frown, his head dropping to the side to stare out at her with his saddened, big, hazel eyes. At first, her face scrunched up before she dropped down and buried her head against the center of his chest. Having her laughing against his flesh tickled and he let out a tense sound. “You have to understand that I still remember you asking me for help to protect yourself.”

“And it’s been almost eight years where a majority of that was spent with me training,” she pointed out with a grumble, her hand reaching for his. Hooking her fingers with his, she saw the scars over his hand and brought it closer to her so she could kiss over it. “What happened here?”

“A gun exploded in my hand,” Negan explained with a long sigh seeing her tracing over the mark with her thumb. “It’s complicated.”

“It always is with you,” she responded and it had Negan huffing out.

“What about all of your scars?” Negan curled his arm around her tighter with his fingertips brushing over the tattoo that was there to cover up the one and only scar that he actually knew the answer of.

“Battle wounds,” she was quiet in the way she responded and Negan frowned. “The one on my other shoulder is a gunshot. The ones of my face are from fights. Some cuts I got from knives…”

“And the one under your bellybutton?” Negan found himself curious, but the expression she made when she looked up at him showed him that she was uncomfortable. “Was it that bad?”

“It had to deal with the tests that they did on me,” she explained in a whisper and it had Negan reaching up to sweep his thumb in over her jawline. “It was hell getting back here Negan. It was nothing but pain and misery. So for you this might seem perfect, but for me? It feels like something I deserve after everything I’ve gone through.”

“Fair enough,” Negan stammered with his throat tensing up and he felt guilty hearing that. During his time in that cell, he thought he went through incredible amounts of suffering, but from what she told him? She went through worse. “I’m sorry.”

“I told you, I don’t really want to hear that Negan,” she reminded him, palming her hand down over the lengths of his abdomen which had him taking in a sharp breath. “I don’t want to think about my past anymore. I don’t want to be angry. I just want to be with my family again and live as much of a normal life as I possibly can.”

“Which reminds me…” Negan cleared his throat, his chest aching that he was thinking about things other than having her in his arms like this right now. “More than anything, I want to just stay like this for a while. Have you in my arms, naked and feeling more alive than I have in a very long time. But I made a promise to Evie and I know she has to be freaking out right now.”

“Okay. So what’s the plan then?” she whispered, her hand sliding down to caress in over Negan’s lower abdomen before sliding up to palm in over the side of his face drawing him to look down at her. “What are we doing? How are we getting them out of there tonight?”

“That’s the thing,” Negan started, his body tensing up when he eyed her over. “I snuck out of Alexandria after seven years. They aren’t going to be okay with me just leaving. They are going to have people out searching for me. And they will be out to kill if they see me. Not many people there care too much for my well being. After me leaving, I know they are going to be watching our children closely. I was never supposed to leave that cell. That was the plan. We can’t just show back up there and get our children. I’m not going to risk our children getting hurt and I won’t risk you getting hurt either because of these people.”

“Trust me, no one is going to be hurting me,” she stressed which had Negan grumbling to himself, curling his arm tighter around her waist to pull her closer to him. Hooking her leg over his had him sighing with her warmth surrounding him.

“Yes, I know. You’re a badass now, which turns me on incredibly fucking much. But we don’t need you slaughtering a whole town in order to get our children out of there,” Negan reasoned with her hearing her scoff. Dropping his head back, Negan looked down at her with his hazel eyes narrowing when she lifted her head up toward him. “You sound disappointed that I won’t let you slaughter a whole town in order to get our children out of there.”

There was a silence that was between the two of them and Negan shifted with a tension in his body, “We also don’t want our children to get hurt in the process.”

“Then what’s your plan, Negan?” she exhaled loudly, lowering her head back down to pepper faint kisses over the freckles that covered his shoulder that was closest to her. “How do we make this work?”

“Did you really think slaughtering a whole town was the way?” Negan was shocked that she didn’t seem to flinch at the idea of it.

“I told you, I’ve had to do…things,” she swallowed down, trying to avoid the judgement that he was undoubtedly giving her over her response to things. “The only thing that matters to me right now is being with you and the children. So whatever I have to do in order to get back to our children, I will.”

“And you really think you can take down an entire town?” Negan was curious that she truly believed in herself that much. “We can’t do that. There are innocent people in that town. And I know you, you got mad at me for doing what I did at The Sanctuary.”

“Times change Negan,” she declared with a frown, showing that they both clearly had a lot to talk about in the future. “But you’re right. Innocent people shouldn’t get hurt over a few rotten ones. So what do you think is going to work here?”

“I can only think of one way right now. And you aren’t gonna like it,” Negan stammered, his jaw clenching when her kisses over his chest came to a slow halt. “Right now, the number one thing that matters to me is our daughter. I love you so fucking much and I’m still having trouble believing this whole thing is real, but our daughter still beats herself up every day over you passing away. The whole point of leaving here was to find a place for our children. Now I know that you have the farm up and running. There is a place for our children. But most of all, I think Evie needs to know that you are alive. Nathan doesn’t even remember you Y/N. They both need their mother. They need their mother more than they need their father.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she was genuinely curious where he was headed with what he was about to say.

“I think that I should take you back to Alexandria with me. I go back in that cell. You get to be with our children. They are living in a house alone as it is. You do what you do best and you fit in. When the time is right, we get the fuck out of there,” Negan responded with a simple shrug of his shoulders and he could already tell by the expression on her face that Y/N hated it. “I really think that’s the only way at this point Y/N. It’s the only way to keep everyone safe in this situation. I don’t want to kill anyone else and I don’t want you or the children taken from me. I’ve already gone this long without you and I don’t know how much more time I have left in this world.”

“There has to be another way. You shouldn’t have to be locked up like an animal,” she reasoned with Negan hearing him sigh loudly.

“It’s the quickest way to get you back to Evie. You’ve been looking for the children every day for months. Evie has been suffering for seven years. You get to be with your family. You earn your place in that town and when they get comfortable with you, we find our way out,” Negan repeated what he said, his chest aching at the idea of having to go back to that cell after being stuck there for so long. It was just the only way everything seemed to work out. “Just don’t tell them your story because I feel like they will freak out and they might be scared of you.”

“Which part?” she frowned, pushing herself up into a seated position. Drawing his hand up the side of her body, Negan stroked his fingers around over her lower back before shrugging.

“All of it?” Negan’s nose wrinkled, biting down firmly onto his bottom lip when she smirked. “I mean, people aren’t going to understand the whole super soldier thing and that there are three towns that are ran just like they were back in the day…”

“Two now,” she corrected Negan who let out a long exhale, smiled and nodded his head slowly.

“Whatever it is, they are going to panic,” Negan suggested, pushing himself up onto his palms so that he was sitting up, his lips hovering over hers while he spoke. “And the whole being picked up by a doctor and being tested on thing might worry some people. They are going to wonder if you were or were not bit. People might want to lock you up themselves. I never told anyone what happened to you other than I lost you. Hearing you may have been bit would freak people out.”

“Does that scare you about me?” she wondered, her palm dragging down over the front of Negan’s chest toward his lower abdomen again. It had his eyes narrowing, a smirk tugging at his lips before he shrugged.

“You scare the shit outta me,” Negan rumbled, his lips faintly brushing against hers before humming. “But if you’re contagious and I’m gonna catch something by doing what we’ve done a few times today, then I’ll happily accept my outcome.”

“Solid answer,” she pat him on the chest hearing him chuckle right before she captured his lips in a kiss. Boldly flicking his tongue out against hers had her purring out. “You’re a brave man.”

“I’m a man in love that has been broken for years. It’s worth the risk,” Negan curled his arm around her waist to spin her around back onto the bed again. Starting to pepper kisses over her jawline, down her neck and further down her body had Negan humming out. “I don’t care about the details, I’m just happy that you’re here.”

Nipping at the flesh under her navel, Negan grunted out and tipped his head back to stare out at her, “So, do you agree with what I said?”

“I think there are better ways, but if that’s the only way you see this working,” she lowered her hand to sweep her thumb over Negan’s jawline. “Then I guess that’s what we will do. We just have to make a stop at the farm first.”

“For what?” Negan wondered, his face scrunching up and she rolled her eyes. “What?”

“Well, I’ve been checking in constantly with the family that lives there. I need to let them know that I’m going to be gone for a while,” she explained to Negan, her eyes narrowing out at him while she worked out what she would have to do in order to make his plan work. “They need to be able to hold down the fort while we’re gone so to speak. And prepare for when we come back. It’s going from four people to seven. You know just as much as I do there is enough space, but the guy staying there needs to know I’m not dead.”

“Good point, I guess,” Negan nipped at her hip before crawling back in over her hovering his lips over hers. “And there is nothing going on between you and this man?”

“Define nothing,” she teased him, her palms grasping firmly to the sides of Negan’s face. It had him frowning and she laughed. “You are so jealous.”

“I always have been,” Negan snorted, his nose wrinkling when he flicked his tongue out over her lips causing her to moan. “But with how eager you were to jump on my dick, I’d definitely say you haven’t had any in a while, so…”

“Way to take a romantic moment and spoil it,” she growled when she slid her fingers up over the back of his neck and frowned. “I miss your hair.”

“I guess I’m gonna have to work on letting it grow back,” Negan’s nose wrinkled, his body lowering down in over hers again stealing kiss after kiss from her lips. “No one was around to pull on it. So I kinda just did what felt good in the moment.”

“You’re still cute, I just like the hair,” she declared against his lips, palming down over the lengths of Negan’s long back. “I know you’re older…”

“We both are,” Negan corrected her, nuzzling his nose in against hers when he felt her squeezing at his naked bottom.

“I’m in better shape than you are,” she reminded him drawing an offended breath to fall from his lips. “Can you do another round and make the trip to the farm before going back to this Alexandria place. You seem kind of tired as it is.”

“One, I found a motorcycle before you whooped my ass,” Negan reached for her wrists, pushing them down firmly beside her on the bed hearing an amused laugh fall from her lips. “Two, I’m capable of more than you think and three, I have no idea when we will be able to do this again, so I’m not gonna miss up on the chance if you are offering.”

“Good boy,” she winced when his fingers squeezed firmly around her wrists, pinning her further against the bed. Once their eyes connected, she noticed the way that Negan’s expression softened and his wolfish smile faded to a saddened look. Releasing one of her wrists, Negan lowered his palm to cup her face lovingly bringing her to a lingering kiss. “What’s wrong?”

“You just have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Negan whispered, his forehead pressing to hers when he nuzzled his nose to hers. “I should have never left you that day. That was my biggest mistake. I should have stayed by your side. We could have avoided all this pain. All this suffering…”

“You did what I asked of you,” she reminded him, but he shook his head and there was misery behind his eyes. “We don’t know if them taking me saved my life Negan. You can’t punish yourself over what you did and did not do.”

“I have been punishing myself since that day,” Negan claimed, the lines in his forehead growing. A loud exhale fell from his throat and he shook his head. “I don’t think you know how much losing you really broke me. I lost it with Lucille, but with you…?”

“I’m here,” she whispered when he let out a broken breath. Noticing that there were tears burning at his eyes made her let out a tremoring breath. Lifting up, she brought their lips together in another kiss when she realized that he was still extremely emotional over this whole thing. “You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I’m going to worry every second because I know how much it hurt,” Negan reached for her hand to bring it to him. Faintly brushing his lips over the inside of her palm had her exhaling loudly and he shook his head. “Now that you’re here, I don’t ever want to imagine losing you again. Ever.”

----

“Wow,” Negan grumbled after bringing the motorcycle to a stop in front of where he knew that the farm he had convinced Y/N to get years ago was. It surprised him to see that the overgrown green, trees and some wood had hidden the entrance to it. “You really did hide this place.”

“A few years of overgrowth didn’t hurt,” Y/N pressed a faint kiss against Negan’s cheek, her fingers dragging across Negan’s lower abdomen when she got off the motorcycle. “So what is it that you want me to tell these people in Alexandria? I feel like our stories have to match.”

“You can be somewhat honest?” Negan suggested, curling his fingers tightly around the handlebars of the motorcycle. “Tell them that someone took you because they thought you needed help. They travelled across the country and you got stuck.”

“I feel like there has to be something more,” she scoffed, moving some of the green and disappearing under it slightly to push open an area of a manmade wall that was hiding the entrance to the farm. “They aren’t going to be okay with me just telling them I’ve been across the country for years.”

“These people have gone through a lot. I think they will believe just about anything,” Negan responded, moving the motorcycle forward when she urged him to move through the opening. Waiting for her once he got through, Negan waited for her to close things up. In that time, he looked back toward the home that he had convinced Y/N to get so long ago. A shocked breath escaped him seeing that there were crops growing, animals in the field and things looked healthy. Even the house did. “Holy shit.”

“What?” she stepped in beside Negan, dragging her hand down over the side of his face. Leaning into her touch, Negan sighed and cherished the warmth. Pressing a kiss over the center of her palm had her smiling.

“I just can’t believe how good this place looks,” Negan confessed getting off the motorcycle with a grunt. Sure, it look wore down in certain places, but who knows what happened between the time Rick attacked him and she returned. Walking the motorcycle up the long walkway with Y/N gave Negan time to look things over. “You guys really have been working nicely on it.”

“It didn’t take much to fix up. Plus, when I tell you I was prepared for the end of the world being fully stocked in the past, I mean it,” she stressed and it had Negan’s face scrunching up. Turning to him, her hand placed in over the center of his chest. Tipping up on her toes, she could tell that Negan was eyeing her over curiously and she shrugged. “What?”

“How so?” Negan breathed out which was followed by her peppering tiny kisses over his bottom lip. Happily accepting them, Negan’s hands fell to her hips while he held her close.

“Ah, that’s my secret to keep,” she tapped her fingers against his lips which made him frown. “I have my secrets. You have yours. There are some things on this land that only I know. And it will remain that way.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan scoffed, stepping forward to playfully smack at her bottom which had her gasping and swatting away his hands. “So tell me, is your bedroom still decent enough for us to maybe share a moment before we head off?”

“Yes, my bedroom is decent enough, but it’s going to get dark soon,” she grabbed a tight hold of his hands, finding amusement in the way he pulled her in closer to him. The warmth of his breath lingered over hers and she snickered. “Plus, we’ve already done that a lot today.”

“I can’t help it, the boys get back to work and they just want to keep going,” Negan looked down between them and she playfully hit at the side of his face making him snort. “I can’t help how I feel when I’m around you.”

“Well, I’m glad I don’t completely turn you off. I thought the whole CRM thing would turn you away and some of the scars…” she was honest, her smile fading slightly. “Not many men are okay with a woman that can whip their ass.”

“Oh, I love it. I like to be dominated,” Negan insisted with an amused wink. His palms curled around her ass and it had her stepping in closer to him. “It turns me on so much? And the scars? I think it only makes you hotter. We match.”

“Smooth,” she hooked her arms around his shoulders and tipped up to meet his lips in a passionate kiss again. “But you always were.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan rumbled hearing the sound of the front door opening drawing his eyes to lift. A little boy ran out onto the porch which had him releasing her from his grasp and pulling away from her lips with a wet sound.

“Y/N!” the little boy seemed to squee with excitement, jumping from the top step into her arms when she turned to face him. A laugh fell from her throat when she hugged the dark haired boy, who happily cuddled his head into the side of her neck. Following the boy out was a teenage girl and the man Y/N had been talking about. It had Negan stiffening up and he was uncomfortable. These were the people now living at their home. Negan’s eyes connected with the brown eyes of the stranger. The man was a little shorter than him with messy hair that went in front of his eyes. It was graying, but it matched well with his tanned flesh. This man wasn’t ugly. At all. He may have been slightly older than Negan, but looking at him made Negan uncomfortable. This was the guy that Y/N traveled with in order to find her way back? Something caught his attention when the teenage girl moved down the steps to hug Y/N as well. Something about the whole interaction made Negan uneasy. Back in Alexandria they had a teenage girl and a little boy waiting for her. These weren’t their children and they were embracing her like they were. It was strange seeing it when she hadn’t even gotten to be with their own children yet.

Y/N looked back at him and she was talking, but he was so lost in his own thoughts that he wasn’t exactly hearing her. It was probably her introducing him, but in this moment he just wanted to get Y/N back to the children. It felt wrong being here with people that he didn’t even know. In fact, he wished things would just move faster so they could leave. When the stranger held his hand up to wave at Negan, Negan mirrored the same motion and dropped his head down.

“Here we go,” Negan heard Y/N stammer when she set the little boy back down on the top step of the stairs and moved up to them to talk to the stranger. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay. We have to find a way to get our children out of a bad situation. It could take a while. Months maybe. But we’ll be back. All four of us.”

“We’ll be waiting for you,” the stranger stammered, his arm hooking loosely around the shoulders of the teenage girl that was standing beside him. The southern drawl was deep and Negan cleared his throat uneasily. Sure, he appreciated that these people helped Y/N return to him, but he didn’t know how he would handle living with a second family when they returned. “We’ll just keep doing what you taught us. Your family will have a place when you return.”

A soft tap was felt against Negan’s foot, pulling his attention away from what was happening. Looking down, he saw a ball had rolled off the porch and hit his foot. Lowering down, Negan grabbed the ball, his eyes lifting when he smirked at the sight of the little boy hiding behind the man’s legs. With a smirk, Negan kneeled down on the first step, an amused rumble falling from his throat when the little boy’s hazel eyes connected with his when his head pushed out to look at Negan. When he saw that Negan was there he swiftly went back to hiding and it made Negan laugh.

“Easton,” the man reached around him, to place his hand in over the center of the little boy’s shoulders to bring him up beside him. “He’s not gonna hurt you. This is the man that Y/N talked about.”

“Evie and Nathan’s daddy?” the boy looked up at the man that Negan had only just met and he nodded. Hearing that seemed to relax the boy when Negan outstretched his hand to hold out the ball. It took a minute for the boy to trust Negan before he stepped forward.

“Is this yours?” Negan questioned, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity and the boy nodded his head. “Easton, right?”

“Yeah,” the little boy nodded, his eyes lowering down showing how shy he was.

“I’m Negan,” Negan placed his hand in over the center of his chest giving the boy a big smile when Easton looked up at him again. Holding the ball out further, Easton looked back at the man looking for confirmation and it made Negan look to Y/N who was smirking while watching the interaction.

“You can get your ball buddy,” the thick southern accent fell from the man and Easton outstretched his hand to grab the ball from Negan. “Now say thank you.”

“Thank you,” Easton repeated, lowering the ball down at his side. There was a lot of fear in the boy’s eyes and Negan wondered if this boy had a lot of bad encounters with people making him weary of strangers.

“Do you like to play catch?” Negan tried to spark up a conversation with the boy, adjusting so he was still about the boy’s height so they could talk. Easton nodded, his eyes now locked on Negan’s. “My little boy loves to play catch. It’s one of his favorite things ever. We play all the time. He’s always trying to get someone to play with him. He loves it more than anything. Maybe when we come back, you would want to play with him.”

“I’d like that,” Easton responded with a half-smile, shifting on his feet when he looked down at the ball. “I haven’t had a lot of people to play with me.”

“Well, we’re gonna have to change that, huh?” Negan winked and it made the boy seem to relax more around him. “Do you know what soccer is? My daughter loves soccer and she’s really good at it too.” Easton shook his head when Negan slowly raised up into a standing position. “Well we’ll have to change that. She can teach you all about it when we come back.”

“That sounds fun,” the teenage girl moved in beside Easton to give his shoulder a firm squeeze.

“We need to go,” Y/N interrupted the moment, her fingers curling loosely around Negan’s arm when she got him to start backstepping with her. “It’s going to be dark soon, but I promise that we will be back. I don’t know when, but I promise.”

“You’ve never broken a promise,” the man reminded Y/N, his head tipping once when he reached down to pick up Easton to hold him close to his chest. “We’ll be here.”

They said their goodbyes and Negan walked his motorcycle back to the front with her. Looking over his shoulder, Negan watched the man interacting with the two children and he cleared his throat.

“Those are his children?” Negan gazed over the two children with the man feeling his chest aching watching them at the home he considered theirs. “They don’t really look like they are his.”

“That’s because they aren’t his,” she seemed distracted while she worked to get the door back open. It had Negan looking back over his shoulder at her and she shrugged her shoulders. “It’s complicated, but it’s the closest thing to a father that they have. They may not be blood, but they are family.”

“How so?” Negan saw the three of them heading back into the house and he huffed when she seemed irritated with him asking.

“His daughter died when the world fell to shit. He lost everything. The girl was alone, she needed saving and he saved her. They were together when I found them in Kansas City. He’s been taking care of her for a few years. He’s her dad,” Y/N threw her hand out toward where the three people Negan just met were standing previously.

“And Easton?” Negan wondered, his brow line creasing when Y/N shifted on her feet before him. “What about him?”

“He’s been with him for months,” Y/N sighed loudly, her arms folding out in front of her chest. “On the way here from Kansas City, I had to go back to Philadelphia to grab some things. I knew of places to sneak out and…in. I had to grab some things that were mine and Easton was there. He was at a military school. They were going to use him to do what they wanted. So we grabbed him too. He was far too little. He’s just seven years old…”

“I see,” Negan felt her moving forward to reach for his hands. Thinking about what she said, Negan tipped his head to the side and scoffed. “You went back to the place you were at originally? Wasn’t that dangerous?”

“No one recognized me. When I was there at first I looked…different. And I wasn’t always out in the public. They had me in these testing areas,” she stressed, her head bobbing about showing that she was uncomfortable with what she was telling him. “I kept my head down, I grabbed what I needed and we left. We came here and everything has been fine since. I just was missing my family.”

“And we can trust him?” Negan looked back toward the house again, but she grabbed his face and forced him to look at her. “I’m sorry babe, but you can’t blame me for asking.”

“Yes, I trust him with my life because he helped save my life on multiple occasions. He helped bring me here. To you,” she reminded Negan, palming in over the side of his face and having him leaning into her touch. “Can we go now?”

“Of course,” Negan sighed, lowering in to press a quick kiss over her lips before leading the motorcycle out after she pushed open the space for him. Waiting for her, Negan propped the motorcycle up and when she closed back the opening Negan grabbed a tight hold of her and kissed her repeatedly.

“Whoa,” she chuckled, a wet sound falling from between them when she tipped her head back. “What’s up?”

“I just love you, so much,” Negan swallowed down hard, his lips parting when he shook his head. “I need you to know that. I don’t know how much interaction the two of us are going to be able to have for a while so I need to get it in. You mean everything to me. And having you back here? Having you alive? It’s everything I’ve wanted, it’s a miracle.”

“Hey,” she hushed him, grabbing at the back of his hand and nodding her head. “I love you too. We’re going to make this work Negan. I promise you.”

“I hope so,” Negan frowned, nuzzling his nose in against hers. Leaving her with one final kiss, Negan went to head back to the motorcycle, but he realized that she wasn’t following him. Taking a glance back at her he could see that there was tension in her features. “Hey. What is it?”

“Do you think Evie and Nathan will be happy to see me?” she wondered, her eyes narrowing when Negan smirked and half laughed. “I’m serious Negan. It’s been a long time. You said yourself that Nathan doesn’t even know who I am. It’s scary being gone this long and away from them. I’ve missed them so much, but…”

“Evie has kept you alive through her stories to her brother,” Negan assured her, getting off the motorcycle after making sure it was safe to do so. Turning toward her, Negan reached for her hands and caressed over the back of them with his thumbs. “More than anything, I know Evie will be happy and relieved to see you. Not only did I break when you…disappeared, but so did she. You’d be very proud of her though. She’s stepped into the role of mom with Nathan. She’s the one that taught him how to talk. She’s the one that taught him to be a good boy. And she’s so fucking smart. Smarter than I ever was.”

Tears burned at her eyes when she lowered her head to watch Negan caressing over her hands in attempts to calm her, “And she draws you all the time. You, me, Lucille…”

“I look different,” she stressed and it had Negan smiling, stepping in closer to her. Lifting one hand, he swept his fingers in underneath her chin and shook his head. “Negan, I look older. You can tell I put a lot of stress on my body and I have scars…”

“You look exactly like you,” Negan hushed her, sweeping his thumb in over her bottom lip and shaking his head. “I have extra scars and I’m gray as can be right now. You are in better shape than I am. And I don’t question that.”

“I’m just afraid,” she admitted, her voice breaking as she spoke. “I want nothing more than to hold them in my arms again, but the idea that I may not be enough or that they have learned to live without me…”

“That would never happen. Those children need you, now more than ever,” Negan promised with a wink, squeezing her hand tightly in his before raising her hand up to press a loving kiss over the back of it. “I’m afraid every day. Because one day I’m worried that the love that those children have for me is going to leave. I know I’m not good enough for any of you, yet you all remain loving me. If you didn’t love something, you wouldn’t be afraid. The fear is what shows we are alive. It shows that we are passionate and we fucking love something.”

“Yeah,” she parted her lips, reaching up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Thank you, Negan.”

“You don’t need to thank me for just stating the truth,” Negan lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers giving her one final kiss before they got back on that motorcycle together.

The ride was quiet. Lots of things were spiraling through his mind. Questions that he had thought of with Y/N. Thoughts about the family they left on the farm. How he was going to get back into Alexandria without getting shot. That last one being the most important. Especially now with having to protect Y/N.

Those fears didn’t last long though because it wasn’t long before someone was shooting at them causing Negan to lose control of the motorcycle and slide off into the ditch. An automatic fear of Y/N getting hurt made him panic when he scrambled to check if she was okay.

“I’m fine,” she waved her hand about, letting out a scoff when she pulled herself up into a seated position. Still, Negan seemed worried and she shook her head. “I’ve gone through a lot worse than that Negan.”

Hearing the sound of footsteps had Negan grunting out when he sat up straighter seeing Judith approaching, “Alright. Slow down kid. I know you said you’d shoot, but damn.”

“Whole lot of people out there looking for you. I told you that there was nothing out there for you,” Judith stressed and Negan dropped his head down to draw his thumb across his forehead.

“You sure as shit did,” Negan remembered what she had told him when he snuck out of Alexandria, but he looked back over his shoulder at Y/N who seemed uncomfortable with a child having a gun on them.

“Language! I’m a kid asshole,” Judith repeated back having Negan snort in response. Stealing another look back at Y/N, Negan shrugged his shoulders and started to get up.

“Yeah. You are. What can I say? I like to swear in front of my friends. People that know shit,” Negan stood slowly, his hand reaching out to grab a tight hold of Y/N’s hand to pull her up. “But there was something out there for me. I just don’t belong out there.”

“What do you mean?” Judith looked beyond Negan and he nodded toward Y/N.

“Do you not see her?” Negan wondered, throwing his hand up in the air and he saw the way that Judith was eyeing him over. With a grunt, he squeezed his hand tighter around Y/N’s. “Oh come on! She has to be real this time because after everything, I…”

“Negan,” Y/N interrupted him, her head shaking about when he looked to Judith with desperation flooding through his veins. More than anything he was panicked that he just made all of this up again in his head and he was batshit crazy.

“Of course I see her,” Judith shrugged her shoulders, her eyes scanning over Y/N and he let out a sound of relief. “Who is she?”

“She’s Nathan and Evie’s mother,” Negan answered, pulling Y/N in beside him and he still made sure that he was the one that was in front of the barrel of the gun that Judith was holding up.

“I thought she was dead,” Judith’s eyes gazed over at Y/N as if trying to determine if it was real.

“I told you, she went missing,” Negan stated, his fingers hooking tightly around Y/N’s to squeeze them. Glad that she was actually there and he wasn’t insane again. “I’ve gone over that story with you so many times. How I went back, she was gone…and…”

“You thought she was dead though,” Judith repeated and Negan was sad to agree with her, but she was right. “And you found her? How?”

“It’s kind of a complicated story,” Y/N answered for Negan, her body aching from the fall that it took with Negan on the motorcycle. “But you’re right about what you said. There is nothing out there for either of us. I haven’t seen my family in years and I’ve been looking for them. When they weren’t far from me this whole time.”

“I got a look at what’s out there and my family…her family, would be safer in Alexandria,” Negan thought aloud, his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat when Judith thought over what they were saying. Carefully, Judith lowered the gun and nodded. “More than anything, Evie needs to know that her mother is alive.”

“I agree,” Judith nodded her head about looking between the two of them. “You’re going back to your cell, Negan.”

“I know,” Negan realized that was the only outcome that this led to, but he didn’t care if it meant returning Y/N to Evie and Nathan.

“We’re walking the rest of the way,” Judith threw her hand up pointing toward the area that Alexandria was. Keeping his fingers hooked with Y/N’s, Negan allowed Judith to lead the way knowing that she was their one way in with being safe and she was right.

Part of Negan felt guilty about this whole thing. For so long Judith had been waiting for her miracle and now one was happening, but it wasn’t her father. Hearing what they said is definitely the reason that Judith allowed them back in because the story was the same thing she wanted with Rick.

Once they got back to town, there were glares. Looks of confusion with Negan holding onto some stranger’s hand. There would be a lot of explaining. Negan knew that. He wished they would have planned it out a little better than they did, but all he could think about was Evie.

“Daddy,” Evie’s voice called out, drawing Negan’s fingers to loosen from Y/N’s hand. In the distance Negan could see that Evie was running out toward him. Almost instinctively he ran to her and allowed her to run into his arms. With how tightly she was holding onto him, he knew that Evie thought she was never going to see him again. “After you left, I got scared and…”

“It’s okay,” Negan whispered, pressing a loving kiss over her forehead hearing her crying against the center of his chest. A moment later, Negan felt another strength of a grasp wrapping around his lower half. Leaning back, he wrapped his arm around Nathan who had obviously seen Evie run off and he came as well too. This was the first time that Nathan had really been able to hug him the way that he was meant to be hugged. There were tears in Negan’s eyes. He wanted this moment, but this moment was not about him. “Evie…”

Gazing back over his shoulder, Negan saw that Y/N was standing there frozen. Tears were in her eyes and she looked like she was trembling at the sight of her family there.

“Evie,” Negan said her name once more, his hand reaching up to palm in over the side of her face. “There is something I found. Something that you need to see.”

Confusion filled her eyes when Negan pulled away from the both of them, side stepping to allowing Evie to get a look at what was there. Evie’s face went white. Her hazel eyes growing wide when she looked to Negan as if for confirmation that she was actually there. With a single nod, Negan watched as Evie stumbled forward toward Y/N.

“Mom?” she breathed out, a whimper falling from her throat. Nodding, Y/N let out a cry herself seeing how big Evie had gotten. How much she had truly missed in the years that she was gone.

“It’s me baby,” Y/N finally spoke and that was all it took. Evie fell into her arms and both of them lowered to the ground. There were no hiding the sobs that were coming from both of them while they hugged. “I’m here.”

“I don’t understand,” Evie brought her head back, her fingers tremoring when she traced over the scar that was left on her mother’s chin. “We thought you were dead. You were gone for so long and…no one could find you. Dad and I searched the farm, but…”

“It’s a long story where I ended up very far away,” Y/N described what happened in a very shortened way, her fingers brushing through her daughter’s dark hair while she tried to comfort her. “But I fought to make it back to all of you and your dad found me.”

“More like she found me,” Negan offered up with a whimpering breath himself, his arm hooking loosely around Nathan’s shoulders while they stood together. “Your mom is the impressive one in this story. Not me.”

“I am so sorry,” Evie apologized, her hand reaching up to curl around Y/N’s wrist. “I’ve thought about the way I was for so long. I didn’t understand things and I was so mean. I should have been telling you that I loved you every day because I know that you were doing everything that you could to take care of me. To take care of us. I love you mom. So much. When you were gone, I just…”

“No,” Y/N didn’t want Evie punishing herself anymore about things. “I’m here now. You don’t need to worry about then because there was one thing that always kept me strong and fighting. That was you Evie. You and your brother. So please, don’t beat yourself up over what happened. You couldn’t control what happened. No one could.”

Dropping her head forward, Evie cried against the side of Y/N’s neck and Y/N stroked her fingers over Evie’s shoulders to comfort her. Looking to Negan, Y/N almost didn’t know how to respond to this because it was overwhelming and very emotional.

“Dad?” Nathan’s voice was quiet, his eyes raising to look for his father for confirmation in things. “That’s her? That’s mom.”

“That’s your mom,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip with Nathan slowly stepping forward. When Y/N saw him, she lifted her free hand to motion him close. Uneasily, she touched the side of Nathan’s face and smiled.

“Look at my beautiful boy. You look so much like your father,” Y/N commented which drew Nathan in for her to be able to hug both of them. “My beautiful boy and my beautiful daughter.”

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” a voice muttered from behind Negan when he looked over his shoulder to see that Gabriel was standing behind him.

Without saying anything, Negan nodded and moved toward his family. He knew that he wouldn’t have a long time with them, but he lowered down to wrap his arms around them supportively in his grasp. This was everything he dreamt of and he couldn’t believe it was happening. The only problem was? He knew that he wasn’t going to be part of this equation much longer and that broke his heart.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @felicity291 @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

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@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@neganswoman @ravenrose18 @negansbestie

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #negan x reader #Negan fanfiction #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction #Negan Smith #Negan x you #Negan Imagine

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sweet-evie · 11 months

Text

Strolling in Starlight

A glimpse into the life of a single dad who's doing his best.

masterlist || pt 4

Content: Established Relationship, afab!oc, fem!oc, nameless!oc, she/her/hers pronouns for Satoru's S/O, singleparent!gojo, dad!gojo, Sentimental!Gojo, Mentions of Suguru and Satoru’s deceased lover, Pining (all Satoru), Satsuki doesn’t understand a thing her dad is saying.

A/N: Not Gojo showing off his powers to a baby as if they can understand.

Never Grow Up Pt 3

December 2012

“‘Tsukiiii…” Satoru groaned, stretching out the last syllable in her name as he pushed her door open. “I thought we were past this.”

Grumbling, he effortlessly picked his way through the mess of building blocks and plushies on the floor that he neglected to put away before her bedtime. (Infinity on auto was a perk he never wanted to be without; saved him emergency trips to the hospital because he was sure he’d stepped on legos hundreds of times by now).

Satoru propped his elbows on the edge of Satsuki’s bassinet and peered down at her scrunched up, slightly red face from crying. This was the fourth time this week — consecutive days of the house being shaken up at ungodly hours of the morning because of a screaming baby and her consequently turbulent cursed energy.

Shoko warned him about this… She told him some babies get into a phase at 7 months where they don’t appreciate being apart from their caretakers and that it’s completely normal, but it sure is a bitch to deal with. Usually, it wasn’t a problem, because Satoru rarely slept anyways, and he was — more often than not — awake and doing things. His concern was Megumi and Tsumiki. Those kids needed their sleep… And Satsuki had a pair of lungs on her. Wonder where she got those from.

“Princess, I’m all for you crying and calling for me, but we can’t keep waking up Tsumiki and Megumi like this. They have school tomorrow… I think.”

Satsuki rolled over to lie on her stomach. She was still crying, a little quieter now that her favorite person had come into the room to appease her.

“C’mere.”

He reached in and lifted her out of her bassinet, and held her at arms’ length. She had that ridiculously adorable dumbfounded look on her face that most babies seemed to have after they stopped crying — looking around cluelessly as if they didn’t cause disturbances just moments before. If he had neighbors and they lived in a smaller apartment, he was sure he would have gotten noise complaints by now.

Satoru brought his daughter closer and did the routine check he’d always done every time she woke up in the middle of the night since he brought her home from the hospital 7 months ago. Her diapers didn’t require changing, and she wasn’t hungry, so…

“Did you really just want to be close to me?” He teased her, tickling her tummy a little.

She squealed her answer and as she gave him her gummy smile, he narrowed his eyes.

“Are your teeth coming in?” He had the inappropriate urge to poke his finger in and feel around her gums, because those little white buds were definitely not there before. “Shoko told me you might be a late teether. You were supposed to get these 3 months ago.”

In hindsight, that probably explained all the drooling, the general fussiness, her awful habit of attempting to eat her fingers until someone brought over a pacifier, and her demonic urge to gum all her plushies to death. His clothes didn’t escape her either.

“I’m getting you a teething ring. I really should’ve, don’t know how I missed that.”

Satoru outstretched his hand and used Blue to draw one of Satsuki’s toys over to him. The movement caught the baby’s attention, and she squealed in delight as she followed the object’s path. How did it look to her curious eyes, a plushie flying across the room to land in her father’s palm? But it seemed she couldn’t care less after Satoru handed it to her. She grabbed Wanyamon and pulled on its ears. Her babbling and her attempt at motor boating (something she picked up from Tsumiki and Satoru) showered her father in drool.

Satoru snickered and watched as Satsuki’s face lit up with excitement. It must be another sight to see — liquid suspended in midair, drool kept at bay by Infinity.

“Okay, Spitter, now what?” Shaking his head, he pushed the small plushy back into her arms when it almost fell to the floor from her lax grip.

Satsuki crumpled the cloth in her little fists and put one of the ears into her mouth. Snickering, he kissed the top of her head and bounced her a little in his arms. “You don’t look sleepy, but I need you to go back to bed because it’s so late, and your mom will hate me if you don’t get the sleep that you’re supposed to.”

She stared up at him with big doe amber eyes that reminded him too much of her late mother, just as an idea popped into his head.

“Hey ‘Tsuki? Want to go see the stars up close?”

=OoOoO=

Beautiful star-studded Tokyo skies were rare to see, but it was a privilege enjoyed by the strongest sorcerer of the modern age. Suspended mid-air, 6,000 feet above the ground, Satoru strolled across empty air, stepping on manipulated space underneath his feet, walking through clouds with each step, carrying a deeply fascinated baby in his arms.

Not for the first time, he himself appreciated the blanket of stars above them. He was holding Satsuki up against his chest and shoulders and she leaned back as far as she could, turning her fair-haired head this way and that, little hands tugging mercilessly on his hair all the while.

Her excitement came in the form of babbles and squeals that sometimes sounded like they were supposed to be questions, and he nodded along.

“Bet you didn’t think your dad could fly huh?” Satoru smirked, gently prying her fingers away from the hair hanging in front of his face. She’d poked his eye one too many times for his liking by now. “Well, it’s not flying… More like… I’m manipulating the space around me so I can do things like this.”

A finely controlled red orb launched itself from the tips of his fingers. The ball of energy careened across the sky and dissipated after it disturbed a group of cumulus clouds.

Satsuki was murmuring things softly in a language that only babies could understand. She twisted restlessly in his arms and Satoru had to re-secure his hold on her lest she fall.

“What are you so interested in back there?” Satoru teased, turning around to stare at empty air behind him. “Red is not enough for you?”

“Da-da Da-da~ Dada.” She sang and giggled and swung her tiny onesie-clad legs.

As the wind continued tousling his hair, he readjusted the beanie on Satsuki’s head, so it covered her ears a little more. For some reason, she reminded him of one of those Kewpie baby commercials from his childhood — all wide-eyed curious stares and rosy cheeks.

“As I was saying before you interrupted me—” He booped the tip of her nose and she scrunched her face at him. “If you happen to have Limitless too, you could do cool stuff like what daddy did and show off to all of your friends. It’s going to take a lot more effort to master Limitless, or at least, use it competently without Six Eyes, but I know you can do it. You have me, after all. I’m the best teacher you’ll ever have.”

“Baboo!”

“Ow!”

Satsuki squealed and closed her fist around Satoru’s nose, giggling and smiling her gummy smile as her father made a face. He pried her hand off again, and mimed eating her fingers — making the silly cookie monster noises that he knew she recognized from Sesame Street. (He had his current students to thank for that). Her answering shriek could have woken Megumi and Tsumiki had they been in the house, and Satoru laughed along with her.

He held her at arm’s length as she continued to squeal and drool all over the front of her onesie. He spun around slowly twice, just to see how his baby would react, and she rewarded his efforts with a string of baby talk.

“Why are you so energetic at like two in the morning?” He wondered out loud, bringing her close again.

She wriggled in his hold and subconsciously wrapped her short and chubby arms around his neck.

“You don’t even know what stargazing is yet, do you?” He readjusted his hold on her again and patted her back slowly to the rhythm of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ playing in his head. “It’s when people go outside to stare up at the night sky and try to find constellations. To be honest, it’s pretty lame when you live in the city because hardly any stars would be visible through all the light pollution. This is way better, don’t you think so?”

Satoru doubted the baby was paying attention to him as she stared up at the endless expanse of tiny lights above them — babbling and doing her own commentary in a language only she understood.

“Mhm, those are stars, Princess. We still can’t touch them from here, but we can see a lot more of them.”

They whiled away in the sky for a short time like that; father and daughter strolling together under a dark canvas dotted with billions of balls of gas, burning hundreds of miles away. He pointed out made-up constellations to her, naming them after people in his life — talking about how those clusters of stars looked like Megumi when he was reading a book, or how that particular line of stars reminded him of Tsumiki when she played in the swings.

It was weird, but Satsuki didn’t think so…

The wind continued to whip at his hair and his clothes when he chose a spot in the sky to stop. Carefully, he sat on empty space — next to a pocket of fluffy white clouds, stretched his legs, and crossed them at the ankles so he could lay Satsuki lengthwise on his lap.

Satsuki kicked her legs out and giggled at him as he held her tiny fists in both of his hands; playing a makeshift game of close-open-close with her short arms, while humming another nursery rhyme he was sure he’d learned when he was a child himself.

“Hey, guess what?” Satoru leaned closer a little and whispered conspiratorially after the second nursery song ended. “Your great grandma told me once that people who are gone turn into stars.”

Satsuki replied with a bunch of incomprehensible baby talk. She twisted around again to lay on her stomach, and Satoru was quick to pick her up and guide her into a sitting position on his knee instead, with his arms supporting her and holding her close for safety.

“Pu-pee.” She squealed and giggled again, curious hands reaching up to grab and tug at her beanie. “Da-da, da-da~ Da-daaaaa~”

Smiling at her unquenchable eagerness and energy, he slowly rocked her back and forth and littered quick kisses along the side of her face while he stared up at the canopy of stars.

“Do you think Mommy’s up there?” Satoru shook his head and chuckled. “I bet Mommy would kick my ass because this is actually pretty dangerous for you, you know. One slip-up and it’s ‘down will come baby, cradle and all.’ Should’ve brought the carrier. But eh… It’s fine.” He kissed the top of her beanie. “I won’t let anything hurt you. I’m the safest place you’ll ever be. Your dad’s the strongest after all.”

They listened to the wind as it sung a song of its own, and perhaps if he deluded himself enough, he would be convinced it was his Love coming to check on them momentarily. Yes, she would probably chide him for being careless and for bringing his daughter thousands of feet up into the air, but if she were here, he would have brought her with them too.

It had the makings of a perfect family date, didn’t it?

Just him, her, and their baby girl strolling under starlight — far away from the stresses of normal life and jujutsu sorcery.

“I miss your mom.”

Had Satsuki been old enough to understand, perhaps she would have heard how sadness stained her father’s usually cheery disposition… Perhaps she would have seen the way the light in his eyes dulled ever so slightly at the memory of the Love he had lost.

And yet, a fond and bittersweet smile still made its way to his lips at every memory that drifted to the surface. “I did this with her once. Took her up to Tokyo Skytree. She kept smacking me the first time I did it because I startled her. My bad…” He snickered and perked up suddenly when he remembered, “Oh! My teleportation doesn’t disorient you, does it?”

“Da-da da-da… Ba-boo~ Ba-bee!”

“Taking that as a ‘no.’” He sighed. “I miss my best friend too. His name’s Suguru. You would have liked him if he were still around. Suguru can absorb and manipulate curses, and he really had this cool rainbow dragon curse that he would bring out sometimes. Auntie Shoko, me, and him used to fly above Tokyo riding on that thing.”

And what a headache they gave Yaga too… Wandering outside of campus after class hours was generally frowned upon and heavily discouraged, but that hadn’t stopped the three of them from leaving their dorms in the dead of night anyway. He treasured the memory of those balmy nights full of late convenience store snack runs. They would hang out in parks after that, or sneak into izakayas. (He and Suguru were certainly tall enough to pass, and no one said ‘no’ to Shoko). Sometimes, they deliberately returned to campus when the sun was high just to see what would happen if they broke school regulations.

“There was also the stingray, but that one’s smaller and only fits one person.”

Satoru mumbled to himself, lost in the memory of that time when he dared to race Suguru. Which was faster? The stingray vs the rainbow dragon. Shoko thought they were ridiculous, but she played referee for them anyway — all while she rode atop another one of Suguru’s airborne curses, casually smoking her cigarette as she watched the boys cackle and try to playfully sabotage each other to get the upper hand.

A moment of silence followed, punctuated by the howl of the wind and Satsuki’s quieter babbling.

“Princess, do you even know that you’re born into a sorcerer family? Maybe you don’t understand yet, but I’ve seen you interacting with Megumi’s dogs.”

Megumi introduced them to her at Satoru’s suggestion, just to see if Satsuki would react, and she did. She patted their fur and crawled towards them. Satoru would go so far as to say she would have chased them if she had been capable of walking… Perhaps soon the house would come alive with the sounds of little feet pattering on the floor, pursuing shadow pups. Megumi didn’t react to it much, but Satoru caught him summoning the dogs with Satsuki around. He would read to her while she poked and prodded at the Divine Dogs.

Too bad Tsumiki can’t see the canines though…

Cheeks puffed out in disappointment, Satoru muttered, “It sucks that Tsumiki can’t see them the way you and Megumi can. She would have loved those dogs.”

“Mi-mi boo… Da-da da-da!”

He smiled and poked his daughter’s cheek. “Tsumiki is just like your mommy, you see. She’s a non-sorcerer, and if things go well, she can live a normal and happy life. I want that for you too, ‘Tsuki. I’d give it to you. To be honest though, I wanted to wait to have you… Don’t take this the wrong way, Princess, but Mommy and I weren’t supposed to make you yet.”

His Love’s panicked face after she’d confirmed her suspicions still felt so fresh. He could still see her in his mind’s eye — could still see the droop in her shoulders when she approached him and confessed, the pregnancy test held between her trembling hands.

“We wanted to get married after I’ve reformed the jujutsu world, and then we’d have you. But you came early! And that’s completely fine too.” He smiled fondly at Satsuki’s innocent face, blinking up at him. “At least now, you get to see me do it, and by the time you’re all set to go to Jujutsu Tech, it will be different, and so much better.”

Her smile slowly began to turn upside down and her familiar cry for attention pierced the air not long after. If she wasn’t in need of a diaper change or hungry, that only meant one other thing. Someone was getting cranky and that same someone was demanding her beauty sleep. Finally.

Satoru tucked her into the crook of his neck again and patted her back gently, readjusting his hold at the same time so she could snuggle more comfortably if she needed it.

“What do you say we make this a tradition? Just you and me. Like that idea?”

But his voice had already lulled her to sleep, and Satoru smiled.

“Sleep tight, sweet girl. I have you.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #dad!gojo #girl dad gojo #fushigojo #single parent gojo #mentions of #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x oc #gojo x oc #satoru gojo x oc #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x reader #wbad fanfiction

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mint-yooxgi · 1 year

Text

{9} - Paradise Gardens - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Book Two to Hotel California

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humour

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Slight focus on Jongho)

Words: 12,135

Warnings: Violence. Arguments and verbal fights. OC gets some sense slapped into them by Reina, literally. Mentions of blood and of small cuts being inflicted to a wrist to draw blood. Mental Illness: mentions of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Not me staying up to post this when I have work in a few hours lmfaoooo anyways, this chapter turned out much longer than I expected! So, yay!! I'm quite happy with how it turned out, cause I feel like the stress of the situation is a sort of catalyst to the argument that ensues. I'm just glad I was able to get in everything that I wanted. It definitely starts off a bit tense, but the ending is quite light and happy. Also, potential smut next chapter anyone? 👀 As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I don’t do tag lists.

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

The moment Yeosang feels you brush against his mind, he’s appearing in Reina’s apartment.

“Sweet baby, Jesus.” Reina places a hand over her racing heart as he now stands across from her in the living room. “You weren’t kidding when you said they can just appear.”

“I told you,” you chuckle, moving over to stand beside him.

You notice that she rests just a tad bit shorter than him as she looks him over, her arms crossed over her chest.

“So, you’re Yeosang.” She takes a moment to look him up and down. “The musician.”

“And you’re Reina.” His brow quirks slightly in amusement. “The best friend.”

“The one and only.” She grins, tucking the tome further beneath her arm. “Though, you had longer, blond hair the first time we met.”

Yeosang spares a glance at you out of the corner of his eyes. “That I did.”

Briefly, you lean into him, explaining lowly what Reina remembers of the incident.

He nods in understanding.

“So,” Reina’s voice draws both of your attention back to her, “you play the violin.”

“I do.” Yeosang confirms with another brief nod of his head.

“A little birdie told me that you learned a specific melody for her.” There’s a knowing lilt to her voice as she says this. “Well done.”

The corners of Yeosang’s lips quirk upwards. A certain pride begins to fill his chest seeing as he cannot get a read on Reina’s thoughts anymore. There seems to be a spell blocking her mind from his, keeping her opinion of him secret. Though, from what she’s implying right now, he assumes that he’s gotten her approval. Or at least, some of it.

“You can do your best friend interrogation later,” you step over to playfully nudge her shoulder. “We’ve got another pressing matter to attend to.”

“Right, right,” she waves you off as the two of you step back over to Yeosang. “Sorry, I can’t help it. Now that I know, I need to make sure they pass my inspection and everything. They may be Kings, but I’m still your best friend.”

You snort out a laugh just as Yeosang places a hand onto each one of your shoulders.

“You know that your approval of them won’t change how I feel.” You grin. “Also, brace yourself: bend your knees, and close your eyes. It helps with the nausea the first few times.”

You barely make out the confused furrow of her brow when Yeosang is teleporting the three of you back home. Once the foyer is in view, you notice Reina stumble forward, and you immediately move to steady her on her feet.

“I warned you,” you chuckle, helping her straighten back upright.

“I don’t think there’s a proper warning for that.” She grumbles, brushing some stray flyaways out of her eyes. She blinks a few times after that, further clearing her vision.

From down the hallway, you notice a few of the other guys file out of Jongho’s room. The commotion must have drawn their attention, and you watch as Reina tenses ever so slightly as the commanding presences of the Kings of the Realm washes over her. The worried pull of their brows could definitely be mistaken for looks of irritation.

Only, she doesn’t have a chance to dwell on it all that much for Sudaem is stepping out of the room.

A gasp of awe escapes Reina, bypassing all of the males to walk right up to the gorgon.

“You must be Sudaem.” She extends her hand out to the female. “I’m Reina, baby caster. Nice to meet ya!”

Sudaem seems taken aback by Reina’s forwardness, and you can only chuckle fondly as you lightly push your best friend into the room.

“We can do proper introductions later.” You finally step into Jongho’s bedroom, seeing that he hasn’t moved a single inch since you last left him two hours ago. Stella seems to be absent as well. “We’re on a tight schedule here.”

“I’ve prepared everything that I could,” Sudaem addresses you. “There are a few things left that the spell requires, other than the caster’s performance.”

“What else does the spell need?” You inquire, watching as Sudaem moves over to the side to grab her own spell book that has been resting open on top of the dresser this whole time. Wordlessly, she hands it to Reina.

“It will need your blood, since you are connected to him in such a way currently.” She says, bringing a brass bowl filled with ash root, along with a few other things, over to you.

Carefully, Reina places her own tome down onto the dresser, balancing the other spell book effortlessly in her hand. You can see her eyes darting over the words on the page, and you just know that she’s taking in all of the instructions with excruciating detail. Her mind is practically racing behind her eyes, suddenly feeling the pressure of this moment building on her shoulders.

“This is a complex spell.” She comments, worried gaze darting over to you.

“It is.” Sudaem is the one to answer, a nod to her head as she holds the bowl beneath your wrist.

You turn to look at the males standing at the side of the room. “I’m going to need a blade.”

You can see the hesitation on their faces even before they say anything.

“If this is going to work-“

“We know, Dearest,” Yeosang grimaces. “We just don’t ever like seeing you injured, no matter the context.”

“I understand that,” you incline your head. “But-“

“I’ll do it,” Hongjoong steps forward, a small dagger appearing in his hand and glinting beneath the candlelight that illuminates the room.

The curtains have long since been drawn, blocking out any and all natural light. Even the door to Jongho’s room has been closed since you’ve all reentered it, only the faint flickering of the flames causing shadows to dance over the walls.

Carefully, Hongjoong grabs your wrist in his free hand, thumb gently stroking over your unmarred skin. He glances upwards briefly, noticing how you nod subtly at him. A small, reassuring smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“How much blood is needed?” He directs his question towards Sudaem, not even bothering to break eye contact with you.

“At least five drops.” She replies instantly, holding the bowl steady all the while.

Hongjoong nods his understanding, and you can sense the tension in the room radiating off of the others as he brings the edge of the blade to your skin. A flick of his wrist and blood begins dripping into the bowl beneath you. Yet, as always, the pain of such a wound never comes, and from how intently he seems to be staring at your wrist, you know that he has something to do with it.

Not even ten seconds later, Hongjoong’s thumb is tracing over the small incision. Smooth skin replaces the open wound as he heals you without another word, turning his sharp gaze briefly to Sudaem. She scurries away, moving beside Reina with the bowl after hearing his silent command loud and clear.

This should be plenty of blood, anyways.

“All that’s left is to cast the spell,” Sudaem says, and you notice how everyone’s gaze suddenly turns to Reina.

She blinks. “No pressure, or anything.”

“If you can summon the Eight Kings without knowing what you are, you should have no issues with this spell.” Sudaem comments, and you sense the slightest bit of reassurance leaking into her tone.

Your brow quirks slightly.

Taking a candle into her hand, Reina holds it just above the brass bowl that Sudaem clutches beside her. Lightly, she tilts it, allowing the wax to begin dripping into the mixture periodically. Steam begins to rise from the bowl as Reina begins chanting, focussing her energy into casting this spell for the time being.

The bowl bursts into flames, Reina’s voice echoing throughout the room and commanding your attention. Faintly her eyes begin to glow, the whites taking over every visible colour as an intense wind kicks up inside of the room.

You hold your breath, feeling Hongjoong place a comforting hand onto your shoulder just as you reach for Jongho’s own. You can tell that you’re not the only one holding on to another as a lifeline in this moment, worry clear on all of your features as you glance between Reina and Jongho continuously.

The blaze within the bowl begins to die down, along with the wind. Not even a moment later, all of the candles go out, and the room is shrouded in darkness.

Subconsciously, you tighten your hold on Jongho’s hand.

A blink, and both Mingi and San have relit the candles, bathing the room in a warm amber glow once more. The bowl still smokes, but no longer are Reina’s eyes glowing. The only difference seems to be the rise and fall of her chest as she desperately fills her lungs with air.

“Did it work?” She meets your gaze, a sort of hesitance to her voice.

Some complicated spell that was, there weren’t even multiple components to it.

Quickly, you turn your head to face Jongho, noting the steady rise and fall of his own chest. You don’t notice any physical changes, so you lean into him, lifting your free hand to caress the side of his face.

The whole room goes still, anticipation lingering throughout. Not even the flickering sound of the flames can be heard as you all watch Jongho intently, waiting for that tell tale sign of movement beneath his lids.

Except, it never comes.

Your whole body freezes, heart suffocating painfully inside your chest.

“It didn’t work…” your voice is small, words nothing more than a whisper on your lips.

Tears begin to well in your eyes as your throat tightens. You were betting everything on this spell, not even bothering to think of the consequences of it not working. You had faith in Reina, and you had faith in him.

“You must have done something wrong.” Mingi rounds on Reina, a stern frown pulling at his features.

The gorgon shakes her head, devastation clear on her features. “She didn’t.”

“Did we have all the proper ingredients?” Yunho directs his question towards Sudaem, stepping in beside the stunned gorgon.

Sudaem stands there, hands trembling as she clutches the bowl in front of her. Her lips part periodically, like a fish out of water as her snakes begin shifting restlessly over her head. Her slate grey eyes shine with unshed tears, fear freezing her to her spot.

“It should have worked,” she whispers, whole body beginning to shake. ��We did everything right: the ingredients, the preparation, the caster.”

“We knew there was going to be a possibility that it wouldn’t.” Seonghwa keeps his voice low, though you can still hear the panic seeping into his tone.

“Are we sure it was the right spell?” San begins pacing, his hand coming up to support his chin as his mind races with what to do.

“It has to be,” Sudaem answers lowly, blinking a few times to clear her vision. “There’s no other spell he could be under, and this is the only one I know to bring him back.”

You opt to remain quiet, mind reeling with all of this information, and lack there of around you. Desperately, you attempt to come up with a solution for a problem you don’t know all of the variables for, drawing a blank each time.

Hesitantly, Reina shifts over to the dresser. She places the spell book in her hands gently on top of the wood, pulling her own tome closer to herself. Slowly, she begins flipping through the pages, skimming through the words until she finds the section she’s looking for. Once she does, her eyes dart over the lines quickly, brain scrambling to comprehend everything going on around her.

A call of your name from her draws your attention.

“Don’t dissociate just yet, and get your ass over here.” Reina states, quite firmly, without taking her gaze away from the book.

Wordlessly, you move over to her side.

“Dissociate?” There’s a hint of worry to Wooyoung’s voice.

Reina points to the page for you to read before turning around to face the others in the room.

“She’s about to get into her own head again,” she blinks, crossing her arms as she leans back against the dresser. “Can you not see the signs?”

A low warning growl escapes San’s lips.

“Don’t growl at her.” You turn your head to look at him from over your shoulder, brow tugging downwards disapprovingly. “She’s only trying to help.”

Without waiting for a response, you turn back around. Reading the words on the page explaining the ‘Veil of the Hypnos’ spell keeps you grounded for the moment, head spinning with what you can do to save Jongho.

“You all need to keep talking.” Reina instructs. “I’m still new at this whole witching thing, but tell me everything you know about this curse he’s under.”

The several males all share a brief look, but it’s Sudaem who speaks first. Calmly, she explains all that she knows about the spell to Reina. Everything that she’s already told you.

Your body goes still, mind churning as you hear the details once more.

“So, he’s stuck in a plane between this world and the next.” You state, blinking blankly down at the page before you.

“Every second lost he could be straying further from his body.” Sudaem confirms, fingers nervously wringing together. “Not to mention what else creeps through the veil.”

You swallow thickly, lips pursing into a thin line. Softly, you begin to nod to yourself.

Reina spares a look at you out of the corner of her eyes. “I know that look.”

“We just need to bring him back to his body.” You’re somewhat just speaking out loud at this point, but you do not shift your eyes away from that page open before you.

The words ‘connection’ and ‘high emotion’ practically glare back up at you.

You turn to look at Reina.

A silent conversation seems to be happening between the both of you. She tilts her head in inquiry, to which your eyes widen exasperatedly. A moment later, her brow furrows in concern while you begin to nod quite eagerly.

“No.” Her tone is firm as she shakes her head. “No way in hell.”

“What?” There’s an even bigger look of worry pulling on Wooyoung’s face as he looks between the two of you.

“Three-hundred and fourteen seconds.” You say. “That’s all you need to give me.”

“That’s just over five minutes.” Hongjoong’s brow furrows in confusion, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Read the page and tell me that that’s not what it’s implying.” You practically slap your hand over the tome open on the dresser beside you. “I can bring him back."

“There is no way I am putting you under the same curse as him just so you can, what? Stumble your way through the veil and attempt to find him?” She replies, her eyebrows practically raising into her hair as her voice rises in pitch. “I am not killing my best friend. That spell hitting you is suicide.”

A hushed understanding passes over the room and panic immediately seizes each male.

“You’re thinking what?” Seonghwa’s eyes look about ready to bug right out of his head, needing to rest a hand against the wall for support.

“Not if I’m prepared for it!” You counter.

“We’re not putting you under to lose you, too.” San’s voice is firm, a hint of desperation shining through as he looks to you.

“Petal, we need to think this through.” Yunho’s worried tone comes through, his heart pounding restlessly in his chest.

“I have thought it through.” You turn to them. “If this is the only way we can get Jongho back-“

“It’s not the only way.” Sudaem cuts in, her eyes somewhat glazed over as she stares at the ground in thought.

“It doesn’t matter!” Wooyoung is frantic, crossing the distance between the two of you in an instant and holding you at arms length. “We just got you back! We can’t lose you again.”

“This is my choice, Woo.” You reply, placing your own hands gently atop of his own and sliding them from your shoulders.

“No,” San shakes his head. “You’re not thinking clearly.”

“This is insane.” Mingi begins pacing, pulling at his roots once more.

“I’m thinking perfectly fine.” You reply calmly, turning meeting Hongjoong’s wide eyed gaze. “Wasn’t it you who told me that the first step to sanity is embracing the insane?”

“Now is not the time to be arguing about this.” Yeosang crosses his arms over his chest. “Dearest, you can’t say something as reckless as that right now. We might lose our brother, don’t make it so we lose you, too.”

“You won’t lose me.” You shake your head.

“You don’t know that!” There’s genuine fear in Seonghwa’s eyes as he falls to his knees. He looks about ready to start pleading with you in a moment, genuine desperation clear on his features.

“The spell didn’t work when we tried it on Jongho to bring him back,” Hongjoong attempts to keep his voice calm, levelheaded. “What makes you so certain it will work to bring the both of you back this time?”

“I’m connected to all of you, aren’t I?” Your gaze darts around the room, and you notice how Mingi, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung have all started to cry.

“Starlight-“

“Hold the fuck up!” Reina cuts in, furious gaze locked on you. “Are you negating the fact that I will not be casting such a spell on my own fucking best friend?”

“Reina-“

“Don’t you, ‘Reina’ me! I’ll admit, we’ve done some stupid fucking shit before, but this takes the cake!” She slams her hand on top of the dresser beside her. “Do you realize what you’re fucking asking of me? In front of them no less?”

Her free hand points in the several male’s direction, clear panic on her features.

“I understand-“

“I don’t think you do!” Her eyes blaze with an unrivalled fury, the whites of her eyes beginning to glow.

“Um, excuse me-“ A timid voice attempts to cut through the thicket of booming arguments being thrown around the room.

“They would be doing the exact same thing for me right now if I had been the one to actually get hit!” You counter, arm flinging out in the direction of the bed Jongho rests upon to point at him. Briefly, your gaze darts around the room. “You’re telling me that none of you would be thinking any differently if you knew that this was your only option left?”

“There’s a difference, Dearest,” Yeosang grimaces. “We are not human.”

“Excuse me-“ The voice is a little firmer this time, but still gets ignored.

“Don’t you dare play the entities card on me right now.” The tears of frustration you so desperately attempt to hold back begin to streak down your face. “What happened to us being equals?”

You fail to miss the side-eyed glance Reina gives you, backing away slowly from the rising tension in the room.

“That’s not fair, and you know it.” Mingi’s voice is low as he freezes in his spot.

“No, what’s not fair is the double standard you all have when it comes to doing things for me.” You counter, voice rough with the rawness of your emotions. “So, you all can risk your lives for me whenever it pleases you, but when I wish to do the same for one of you it’s suddenly not okay? I’m the reason Jongho is in this godforsaken mess in the first place. Am I not allowed to want to right my wrong? Am I not allowed to want to save a man I love?”

“You know we’ve never blamed you for this, Baby.” San states, wiping away his tears using the back of his hand.

“Petal, we’ve talked about this,” Yunho grimaces slightly, taking a half step towards you only for you to avoid his reach.

“If this is the only option we have, then I will gladly sacrifice myself for someone that I love.” You see the devastation on their faces as soon as the words are out of your mouth.

“But, what about us?” Wooyoung’s voice is small, probably the quietest you’ve ever heard him.

“What about you?” You cross you arms over your chest, a slight frown pulling at your features.

“Are you that desperate to ignore our own feelings on the matter?” San meets your gaze, and you can feel your throat tighten.

“Of course not!” You immediately reply, shaking your head.

“We swore that we would always protect you, and now you want to risk your life for a plan that might not even work?” Mingi shifts restlessly from foot to foot, his hair sticking out in odd ends.

“We don’t know it won’t work.” You reason. “Besides, I’ve survived much worse than some measly little curse.”

Collectively, their breaths hitch.

“Don’t go there.” Seonghwa’s hands brace himself on the floor, his tears spilling freely onto the hardwood beneath his palms.

A low, warning call of your name sounds from Reina.

“We have already almost lost you more times than we ever thought we would,” Hongjoong states, keeping his voice low. “Don’t add another mark to the tally.”

“Then, what are we supposed to do, Hongjoong?” Your hands desperately run over the top of your head, fingers digging into the skin of your skull.

He remains silent, the others offering no other solutions, either.

“This is my choice,” you breathe out. “A choice I know all of you would be making if that were me on that bed right now.”

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Wooyoung replies, quite exasperatedly. “Your guilt is blinding you from reason!”

“You think I’m doing this solely out of guilt?” You turn your gaze to the younger demon standing near you, your eyes blazing with a sort of pained fear. “That’s not fair and you know it.”

“Do you think that we don’t know exactly what you’re going through right now? That we don’t understand exactly how you’re feeling?” Seonghwa’s voice is strained, glancing up at you through tear filled eyes. “What’s not fair is you making light of the worst night of our lives.”

Your breath catches, and you swear your heart stops. A second later, and your hands are balling into fists at your sides.

“Do you really think that night was any better for me?” Your eyes are bloodshot from all the crying you’re doing, voice cracking as your whole body shakes. “You only got to see the aftermath. I had to live through it! I’m still living it. Every time I close my eyes, if I don’t watch my every goddamn thought, she is there. She is everywhere I look, and she continues to torture me even in death. She has woven herself so deeply into my life that each time I think I pull a thread loose, another appears to take her place.”

“Petal,“ Yunho takes a concerned step towards you again, nothing but sorrow pulling at his features.

“Do you think I’m not terrified to wake up every morning, only to discover that this has all been some elaborate fabrication that she has made in my mind to continue torturing me with?” Your admission has them all freezing in their spots, tears beginning to fall freely down all of their faces. “I never want another person to experience even an ounce of pain that she made me suffer through, and now Jongho could fucking die because of my mistake!”

“Don’t make his sacrifice into something horrific.” Mingi shakes his head, voice barely above a whisper as he attempts to reign in his emotions for the moment. “He would have done what any of us would have in that situation.”

“That’s exactly my point!” You raise your hand a bit exasperatedly in the air. “You cannot avoid the truth that’s always been right in front of you. That’s not fair at all.”

“You think that it’s fair to Wooyoung that you avoid the dance studio because of what she did to you in it?” Yeosang’s voice cutting through the darkness of the room surprises even you. He keeps it steady, watching you with a cautious gaze the whole time.

The aforementioned male remains quiet, a new sense of stillness travelling through the room as Wooyoung suddenly avoids your gaze when you look to him.

“Do you think it’s fair to Seonghwa that you do the same to his tailor shop?” Yeosang adds lowly. San places his hand onto the elder’s shoulder in worry, but Yeosang just shrugs him off before continuing. “You haven’t even looked at the art room or the garden since everything happened. Do you think that’s fair to Yunho? To Hongjoong?”

“Yeosang-“

Yunho’s own worried protest gets cut off by the aforementioned male.

“You haven’t even touched the piano since that day at your parents house,” he continues, keeping his tone steady as he watches you physically trembling before his very eyes. He can tell that you’re doing whatever you can to hold yourself together at this point in time, but you’re simply a moment from falling apart. “Do you think doing something this reckless will reclaim those parts of yourself that you lost? Have you even tried getting them back?”

A brief silence.

“Maybe I don’t want them back.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, yet you fail to realize exactly how your words sound to everyone in that room.

Reina’s eyes are wide as she watches the crestfallen expressions overtake each male’s face. He gaze darts around the room, noticing how nearly all of them barely keep themselves together, whole bodies shaking as the two tallest males fall to their knees.

The sound of the slap reaches your ears before you feel the harsh stinging on your cheek.

A gasp of surprise escapes Sudaem, her hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock as she stares at the scene before her. Reina’s hand still rests in the air, your head turned harshly to the side as several low warning growls resonate throughout the room.

No matter what the circumstances might be, you are still their Queen, and they will do whatever they can to protect you.

Little do any of you see the way Jongho’s fingers twitch subtly in his sleep.

“How dare you fucking say that in front of me.” Reina’s voice is low as she pulls you upright and holds you firmly at arms length. “Do you even know how that sounded? Directed at them of all people? Pull yourself together. Now is not the time to be arguing about this. You said it yourself, time is of the utmost essence! Sudaem has been trying to tell you all something for the past ten minutes. So, pull your head out of your ass, and stop being a selfish, heartless crab!”

This seems to snap you out of your angry stupor, blinking at your best friend a few times to clear your head. Only, just as you begin to nod along with her words, Reina is torn from you, being pinned to the wall by her throat.

“Don’t you ever speak to My Divine like that again.” Seonghwa’s voice is low as he leans into her, nothing but a harsh whisper on his lips. The eldest looks completely crazed right now, tears streaking down his cheek as his eyes flash in warning.

“Raise your hand against Our Queen like that again, friend or not, and it will be the last thing you ever do.” Wooyoung seethes, gaze pitch black as he stands just behind the eldest for the moment.

“Seonghwa, Wooyoung,” you manage to step over to them, pulling them away from Reina in an instant. “She’s right.”

Your best friend crumples to the floor, coughing slightly as she attempts to catch her breath.

Turning to face all of the males once more, your shoulders deflate. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“We can talk about it later,” Yunho’s voice is soft as he helps Mingi back to his feet. “Okay, Petal?”

A small nod is all he receives in response.

“Geez! You weren’t kidding when you said they’re extremely over protective.” She wheezes, using you as a support as you help her back to her feet.

“You were the one brave enough to slap me in front of them.” You chuckle, feeling all of their eyes on you.

“More like stupid enough.” A weak smile tugs at her lips as she leans on you for the moment. She lets out a chuckle of her own, teasingly nudging your side. “Well, stupid is as stupid does.”

“She’s slapped you before?” There’s a hint of irritation in Mingi’s voice when he says this, head tilting forward the slightest bit in disbelief.

“We’ve been roughhousing since we’ve been young.” You shrug. “She’s the only one allowed to slap me, and I’m the only one allowed to slap her. Only when we’re being ridiculous, of course.”

“She still hurt you.” San stands tense across the room, hands balled into fists at his sides.

“Because I was hurting you.” You meet his gaze briefly before turning back to face Sudaem. “My apologies, you were going to say?”

The gorgon straightens a bit in her spot, clearing her throat as she feels everyone’s eyes on her. Nervously, she shifts from foot to foot, her snakes falling silent around her as their tongues flick out to scent the tension slowly dissipating from the air.

“I was just going to say,” she looks to you, “this isn’t our only option.”

Your brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, there’s another spell that will put you under, and enable you to walk through the veil without having to use the ‘Veil of the Hypnos’ curse.” She explains.

“Then, what are we waiting for?” You take an eager step forward.

“Petal, we need to talk about this,” Yunho’s worried voice reaches your ears, the events of the past ten minutes still swirling through his mind.

“Hang on a moment, I’m not done,” Sudaem raises a hand in the air in a halting motion. “This one does indeed have a time limit, and you cannot wander too far from your body lest you actually wind up lost in the veil forever.”

You swear you see Mingi pulling out his hair again just as Wooyoung turns around with an exasperated huff.

“There’s no winning with this, is there?” Hongjoong sighs, shaking his head.

“How does it work?” You motion for Sudaem to continue.

“Well, again, since you’re connected, you would have the best chance of finding him if put under.” She begins. “Your mind would essentially be transported to the space between realms and set to wander freely for about five minutes. Then, we’d have to pull you and whoever you’re holding on to back out. At least this way we guarantee you won’t die on contact from the initial casting of the spell.”

“And if I can’t find him?” You spare a glance at all of them around the room. “What then?”

“Then, we’ll take it from there.” Seonghwa sighs, running a hand through his hair.

Your lips tighten into a thin line, turning back to face Sudaem as your thoughts race. Shifting, you rest a hand on top of the dresser to support yourself with as you look down at the ground. Blinking a few times, you think everything over.

“This all has to do with the mind being separated from the body, right?” You spare a glance at Sudaem.

“In a way, yes.” She confirms. “The body cannot live without the mind.”

“What if the mind had a physical attachment to this realm? Would that give me more time? Would it make the spell easier?” You meet her gaze, and you know she can see the gears turning in your mind.

“It’s possible, but I’m not sure.” Sudaem replies honestly. “It might make it easier when you get called back to your body, though. You’d have a direct path back to it, no matter how far you were.”

You nod your understanding, turning to face the several males standing off to the side once more. One brush against all of their strings lets them know exactly what you’re thinking.

The several males share a look.

“We don’t like this, but at least it’s a better option than the other one.” Yunho crosses his arms over his chest.

“We’d rather it be one of us that goes under.” San adds, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“There are things worse than just mist floating around inside the veil.” Seonghwa breathes out, somewhat shakily.

“Then, I’ll be quick. If anything happens, I’ll tug back so you know to pull me out right away.” You state rather firmly, turning back to face Sudaem. “What do I need to do?”

Sudaem spares a glance around the room, the faintest hint of apology on her features as she meets the King’s gazes. Then, taking a deep breath, she begins.

Which is exactly how you find yourself sitting on the edge of Jongho’s bed, his hand held tightly in yours not even five minutes later.

“We’re going to need more of your blood.” Sudaem holds that brass bowl in her hands once more.

Mingi, Wooyoung, and San all curse under their breaths.

“I will gladly bleed again,” you state, rather firmly. “I will bleed as many times as it takes to ensure that this works, and he comes back to us. It’s what I would do for any of you, and I know you would all do the same for me.”

Any words of protest that had been building on their lips fail, frustrated looks of understanding passing over their features. You’re right, and even though they don’t particularly like this, they’ll deal with it. They have to.

Again, it’s Hongjoong that gently slits your skin, taking your pain and making sure to heal you as soon as possible. This time, though, Sudaem paints a symbol over the back of your hand, mirroring it on Jongho’s as his is still held firmly in your own.

Softly, you brush up against that maroon string in your mind before grabbing ahold of it as tightly as you can. This string will be your lifeline to him, and you hope beyond everything that your theory of it guiding you to him is correct.

A second later, you feel the rest of the guys doing the same to you. You don’t even need to look at any of them to sense the worry and slight hesitation that they all have lingering in their thoughts, for you sense it loud and clear through the mind links.

They move in closer.

“You’ll have just over five minutes if this all goes well.” Sudaem tells you, moving over to stand beside Reina who holds the one spell book in her hands.

“Angel, are you sure about this?” Wooyoung’s frantic voice reaches your ears, and you can see the concern still clear as day in his gaze as he looks at you.

“Positive.” You nod, and despite the shakiness to your breath, you believe that this will work.

“Any sign of danger, and you immediately contact us to pull you out.” San reiterates, cupping your cheek and forcing you to meet his gaze. “Okay, Baby?”

“Okay,” you nod your understanding, briefly leaning into his touch before turning away from him.

“We’re right here, Petal.” Yunho steps closer, sitting beside you on the bed and placing a hand onto your back in comfort.

You smile. “I know.”

Lovingly, you brush against their strings. Although it’s slight, you can just tell how much that simple notion helps them to relax.

Lifting your head, you turn to glance at both Sudaem and Reina. “I’m ready.”

Two nods from either female greet you in response.

“Remember, send a pulse through the bond after every minute that passes so I know how much time has elapsed, and that I have left.” You spare a glance at them out of the corner of your eyes. “After the fifth one, if I don’t tug back immediately, wait fifteen seconds, and then pull me out.”

Nods of understanding are seen around the room from all of them, and you notice how Yeosang comes to kneel beside you. A blink, and he’s grabbing your free hand into his own, clinging to you for dear life. You don’t even have to look at him to know how worried he is. Not only that, but how remorseful he is for the way he spoke to you. The sorrow is written all over his face.

He will never forgive himself if they can’t pull you back out. The last thing he wants is for your final memory of him to be his harsh tone reminding you of your own trauma responses. He knows it wasn’t right of him to say those things and make you feel worse than you probably already do. Especially right now.

“Let’s do this.” Determination shines in your eyes as you look down at Jongho resting on the bed. Silently, you tug on that maroon string connecting your mind to his, sending reassuring thoughts his way.

I’m coming, Baby Bear. You swallow, somewhat nervously. Wait for me.

Not even a moment later, Reina begins immediately focusing on the page before her, while Sudaem holds that bowl close by. Softly, Reina begins chanting, her eyes beginning to glow white as power surges through the room. You can feel the mark on the back of your hand beginning to burn, and when you look down, it begins to glow a deep red. Again, a breeze picks up throughout the room, shifting the flames as shadows dance along the walls.

Then comes the silence, followed immediately by the darkness of all of the candles going out once more.

A blink and the flames are reignited.

“Did it work?” Hesitantly, Reina glances around the room.

All eyes are drawn to the bed where they see your limp body resting in Yunho’s arms. Your eyes are closed, and the symbol drawn in your blood glows faintly. Luckily, your chest seems to rise and fall steadily in even breaths. Faintly, all of the males in the room brush against your mind, holding onto that connection for dear life.

Your five minutes start now.

The first thing you notice when you go under is how light your body suddenly feels. It’s as if you’re floating upon a cloud, swaying gently with the breeze.

Your brow furrows, and groggily, you begin to blink your eyes open. Slowly, you begin to stand.

Fog surrounds you on all sides, a bright light shining from behind you. Turning reveals a faint archway, multiple colours streaming through the pale golden light. Familiar colours which seem to stretch out and attach themselves to you.

Sparing a glance down, you nearly jump back in surprise.

There, resting peacefully on the ground, is your sleeping body. You notice your arm stretched out to the side, and following the path it makes reveals Jongho’s body laying directly beside yours. Your fingers are intertwined, a faint red glow emanating from your hands.

At least you have a marker to make it back to.

Backing up slightly, you watch as those colours stretching out from the archway move with you. A moment later, and they seem to pulse with movement.

Your eyes widen in understanding. A minute has already passed.

Turning around to face the vast expanse before you, you attempt to peer through the fog. The faintest outlines of a maroon line can be seen in one direction, and you cling harder to that string in your mind.

Gently, you give it a small tug.

Something roars in the distance, and you feel your blood run cold. Whipping your head from side to side, you fail to see anything close by. Yet, that doesn’t prevent you from putting one foot in front of the other quickly in order to begin following that faint maroon line further into the mist.

The only sounds that reach your ears are that of your breathing, and the constant repetition of your feet scraping along the ground. Frantically, your eyes dart around you in search of any signs of movement, or shapes through the mist. You have a creeping feeling of being watched, and you know to trust your instincts for the moment, especially when in a place like this.

Feeling the second brush against your mind, you quicken your pace. Again, you tug lightly on that maroon string, and this time, a low growl sounds in the area, much closer than before.

You follow it.

“Come on, Baby Bear,” you mutter, eyes desperately scanning the mist for something. Anything. “Where are you?”

With every step you take, you notice that faint maroon line becoming brighter and brighter. The fog seems to be thinning too, and you can begin to make out faint shapes in the distance. One seems to be much large than the three surrounding it, and as you get closer, you begin to see corpses of… things lining the ground.

Limbs are twisted in odd angles, black blood splattered against the pale grey ground. These things appear creature like in shape, some having leather wings like bats, while others are more dog like, but they’re all about the same size. Not to mention they all seem to be that same pale grey colour as their surroundings.

Just as you feel that third brush against your mind, you see them.

A large brown grizzly bear fends off the last three of these creatures. One gets trapped in his maw, while another is torn apart by his claws. The last creature manages to jump on his back, sinking it’s own claws into his skin as he cries out in pain. Only, the bear manages to roll over quickly, crushing the smaller creature beneath its tremendous weight.

He stands back to his feet as he shakes out his fur, starting with his head.

You’d recognize that movement anywhere, and before you can stop yourself, you begin sprinting towards him. Another frantic tug is given to that maroon string and you watch as that bear lifts its head in your direction almost instantly.

Warm, brown eyes meet your gaze, and you swear you see that maroon line leading directly to him light up with a vibrance unlike ever before. In a few bounds, he’s reached you, nuzzling his snout into your neck and stepping in as close to you as he can.

What are you doing here? His voice sounds a little frantically inside of your mind, and you physically breathe a sigh of relief.

I came to get you. You brush your hands over the top of his head tenderly, wrapping your arms around his neck and practically sinking into his soft form.

It’s dangerous here. You shouldn’t be-

Neither should you! You immediately cut him off, pulling away to stare deeply into his eyes.

The fourth brush is felt against your mind.

We need to hurry back, I only have a minute left before they pull us out. You motion behind you with your head.

How do you know which way you’re going? I’ve been lost in here for days. The furrow of his brow is clear, even while in his bear form.

You smile. I’ve got my lights to guide me home.

Instantly, you picture connecting his string to all of his brothers inside of your mind, and the way you feel the land around you begin to tremble lets you know that they’ve all felt it. Only, you have less than a minute to make it back to your bodies before they’re pulling you out.

Subtly, you notice Jongho’s eyes glance over to the low glow of the colours attached to your form. Bending down, he motions for you to craw onto his back.

Hop on.

Without hesitation, you do.

Jongho immediately takes off into the fog, chasing those colours that drift through the air and connect you to all of them back home.

A warning screech echoes in the distance and you hear Jongho curse lowly.

Stay low to my back, the ones with wings are ruthless. He instructs, picking up his pace the slightest bit.

You do as told, clinging to his fur for dear life as Jongho races through the mist and back to that bright archway that begins to shine faintly in the distance. Luckily, you don’t see anything chasing you, but you know better than that. The faint flapping of wings, and pounding of feet upon the ground behind you lets you know that more of those creatures are giving chase, and they don’t seem to be relenting anytime soon.

With each passing second, you can see that archway getting closer and closer. Faintly, the outlines of your bodies can be seen laying on the ground, not having moved a single inch since you left them there about four and a half minutes ago. In fact, you’re positive that fifth brush will be coming at any moment now. You just hope you can both make it in time.

The second you feel that fifth brush against your mind, you go tumbling from Jongho’s back mere feet away from your body.

A frantic call of your name is heard above the hissing surrounding you, feeling pain erupt on your arms as claws dig into your flesh.

Blinking up at the creature, you see a sight that tears a shriek from your lips. It has no face, except for a jagged slit of a mouth where its chin should be. Rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth greet you as its lips pull back in a what appears to be a gleeful grin. Leathery wings protrude from its arms, it’s claws pinning you in place on the ground as your blood spills from your wounds.

The faintest hissing of the word ‘human’ on the air draws your attention. A horrid hissing that is filled with excitement the more it echoes around you by varying creatures, all of whom begin to step out of the fog and surround the two of you endlessly.

A blink, and the creature is swiped from above you, being torn in half by Jongho’s claws.

You can feel your heartbeat in your ears, blood rushing through your veins as you roll over quickly to avoid another dog-like creature pouncing on top of you. Luckily, you roll right into your own side, eyes wide as you see Jongho a mere foot from you.

A frantic call of his name escapes your lips as you reach out to him, knowing you only have mere seconds before you’re pulled out of this veil and back to reality. So, you fight with everything that you are to hold on for as long as you can. Until you can feel his hand in your own.

It’s as if the word around you moves in slow motion. You begin to feel an unfamiliar tug at your mind, pulling you backwards through the archway by your head. It’s as if a hook has been placed right behind your forehead, jerking you backwards unforgivingly as Jongho shifts back into his human form. Desperately, he reaches out to you and his own body with each of his hands, fingers just brushing against your own.

At the same time, the creatures surrounding you all lunge. Snarls sound all around you as they attempt to reach you before you can escape, hissing about not letting such a delicacy leave.

The last thing you see is a wall of creatures swarming you as you pass through the veil. You experience a brief feeling of falling, your hand tightening around something warm as you sink into the abyss surrounding you.

You close your eyes.

A gasp escapes you as your whole body jerks upwards in Yunho’s arms. Blinking a few times, you clear your vision, noticing how you seem to have slid off of the side of the bed and onto the floor. Still, Jongho’s hand in held in your own.

Your breathing is frantic as you heave air into your burning lungs, head turning every which way to gather your bearings. Yeosang rests beside you, clinging onto your opposite hand as he presses it to his forehead. The chest your back is pressed against belongs to Yunho, and you notice the others surrounding you with looks of complete worry on their features.

Your whole body aches, but you force yourself back onto the bed, much to their discontent.

“Dearest,” Yeosang reaches out to you, brushing one of his thumbs near your chin.

You shrug him off, glancing a hint of red now lining his skin.

Breaking your hold on his hand, you wipe at you nose. Pulling away reveals your own blood, and you begin to wonder just how long your nose has been bleeding for.

No wonder they all look so worried.

“Are you okay?” Hongjoong kneels in beside Yeosang, placing a gentle hand onto your thigh. Though, with how badly you feel him shaking against you, you cannot tell if it’s more for him or for you at this point.

You nod, turning to face Jongho on the bed.

“I had him.” Your voice is no more than a whisper, tears leaking out of your eyes as you look down to see him still in that calm state of sleep. “He was right there.”

You practically collapse on top of him, sobs wracking your entire body as you pull your intertwined hands up to your chest. It’s faint, but you swear you feel his fingers tighten against your own.

The room is quiet around you, but it seems somewhat brighter than before. Someone must have opened the curtains to let the natural light of day in around you. It’s warm, and you swear you can feel a ray of sunlight shining directly onto your cheek as you keep your eyes closed for the moment. Warmth of which is mirrored in the way a hand tenderly caresses the back of your head.

“My Darling,” a rough voice, strained from lack of use over the past day and a half, reaches your ears. “Why are you crying?”

Your whole body freezes, breath catching in your throat as your heart skips a beat inside of your chest. Tentatively, you shift your head, peering up at him through tears which blur your vision.

A blink, and they clear, falling upon your cheeks like rain against a windowpane.

Your lower lip quivers as you watch him sit up with you in his arms, his warm, brown eyes searching your face carefully. His hand that had been gently cradling the back of your head shifts to cup the side of your face tenderly, brushing away your tears with his thumb.

A moment of stillness travels throughout the room.

In the blink of an eye, you’ve fully collapsed into his arms, a fresh round of sobs tearing from your throat. Your whole body shakes as apologies fall endlessly from your lips, hands desperately clinging onto him as if he may disappear again at any given moment.

Softly, he shushes you, cooing gentle reassurances in your ear as he rocks you back and forth while in his arms.

“I’m okay.” He keeps his voice low, holding you to him as desperately as you cling onto him. “You’re not at fault.” Your breath hitches. “You’re not at fault.”

You sob harder.

“We’ll be in the foyer.” Reina’s soft voice reaches your ears, and you assume she’s guiding both herself and Sudaem out of the room to give you all some privacy.

More apologies fall from your lips a you bury your face into the side of Jongho’s neck. With your void down for the moment due to the requirements of the spell, they can all tell that you’re no longer just apologizing to the youngest anymore, but to all of them. Yourself included.

“It’s alright, Darling.” Jongho strokes a hand tenderly down your spine as his brothers all come to sit around the edges of his bed. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“It’s good to have you back.” Yunho nods once, quite firmly, at his younger brother. His voice is strained, and it’s not just from seeing you in such a fragile state yet again.

Jongho smiles faintly. “It’s good to be back.”

Desperately, your hands cling to the front of his shirt.

“I should have listened to you,” you’re babbling at this point, but you don’t care. “I didn’t think-“ a sharp, stuttering inhale, “you almost died because of me.”

“Hey, hey,” Jongho grabs you gently by your cheeks, pulling you away from him so you can meet your gaze. “Stop that right now. I know how worried you were about your sister. Do you not think I’ve experienced that same worry when you are threatened?” He rests his forehead against your own, staring deeply into you eyes. “It is not your fault.”

“But-“

“No ‘but’s!” He places a finger against your lips, soon beginning to wipe away the dried blood with the edge of his blanket. “I wanted to help you, to protect you, and I would gladly do it all over again in a heartbeat.”

You fall silent, fingers curling the slightest bit tighter against his shirt.

“I thought…” you squeeze your eyes shut.

A brief look is shared with his brothers around him, and his heart squeezes painfully as they divulge with him their memories of the final moments before, and shortly after, he succumbed to the spell.

Jongho’s grip tightens around your body, his voice low, “My Darling, you know I could never blame you for this.”

Your breath hitches in your throat once more.

“You are not at fault.” He breathes. “I sincerely apologize that I ever made you believe that you were.”

You shake your head, sniffling all the while.

“But I did, Darling.” He rests his chin on your shoulder. “I hurt you when you were in such a fragile state, and now you won’t stop blaming yourself for something that was completely out of your control. If anyone is to blame, it’s that fucking bitch.”

Low growls of agreement sound from around the bed.

Slowly, you begin to calm down, yet all you can do is nod your head.

“What-“ Jongho’s breath catches in his throat, “what happened while I was out?”

The whole time his brothers share with him their memories of the past thirty-three hours or so, Jongho sits on his bed completely still. You swear that he’s stopped breathing all together, his chest barely rising and falling as you continue to cling onto him for dear life.

The second you feel something wet land on your shoulder, you pull away to stare into his eyes.

Tears stream endlessly down his face, a look full of nothing but painful sorrow resting on his features.

“You-“ his voice trembles, and he can barely get the words out. “You fell.”

Again, you attempt to shake your head, “no-“

“You fell because of me.” Utter devastation suffocates his very soul, guilt beginning to rise and crush his heart from the inside out.

“It was a misunderstanding.” Your hands now rest on his shoulders as you sit in his lap, your legs resting on either side of him.

“My Darling, I am so sorry-“

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Your voice is firm as you cut him off.

“Neither do you.” He responds without a second of hesitation.

You fall silent for a moment, blinking shamefully as you avert your gaze. “Yes, I do.”

Finally, you turn to face the other seven males still in the room with you. Luckily, Jongho settles you between his legs, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you to his chest for support.

Glancing upwards, you look around at the males before you.

“I apologize for what I said earlier.” Your voice trembles the slightest bit with the weight of your emotions. “I didn’t mean those words to come out the way they had, but they did. I shouldn’t have kept everything bottled up for so long inside. I should have told you, and I should have considered your own feelings towards the matter.”

“Baby,” San’s worried voice reaches your ears, his eyebrows drooping as he watches you avert your gaze to your hands.

“I should have been more honest with you all about how I was feeling.” Your thumbs begin to nervously rub over one another. “I never meant to hurt any of you.”

The males all share a brief look.

“We were all in the wrong.” Hongjoong says, words barely above a whisper. “We should have known you were barely holding it together all this time.”

“How can you know if I don’t tell you?” You exhale a low breath, allowing your eyes to flutter shut.

“Dearest,” Yeosang goes to reach out for you before stopping himself. Almost shamefully, he retracts his hand. “I apologize for what I said to you. It wasn’t the time, nor place to dump that on you, nor was it right of me to do so.”

“But you were right.” You spare a glance upwards to see Yeosang staring down at his own hands. “By avoiding reminders of her, I had inadvertently been avoiding all of you. That’s not fair to any of you, or what each of those spaces mean to us, and I apologize that it took me this long to realize that.”

“We weren’t lying to you when we said that we would get through this together,” Wooyoung cracks a small, hesitant smile in your direction.

Softly, you nod, wiping at your eyes all the while. “I was so focused on my own trauma, I neglected your own.”

“We all deal with things in different ways.” Mingi clears his throat, bringing a hand up to dry his tears.

“That’s no excuse for what I did.” You reply. “For what I said.”

“You were right, though.” Seonghwa swallows thickly. “If that was you, we would have done whatever it takes to get you back. Consequences be damned.”

Jongho squeezes your waist slightly, assuring you that his brother speaks nothing but the truth.

“Aren’t we all a great pair,” you chuckle teasingly. “Letting our emotions always control us.”

A snort is heard from Wooyoung. “Maybe not always.”

Even his brothers shoot him playfully incredulous looks.

“Only when it comes to each other,” Hongjoong sighs, somewhat wistfully as he finally stands back to his feet.

“If you start having doubts again, or anything of the sort, you tell us right away, Baby.” San meets your gaze, a somewhat firm look shining behind his eyes. “Okay?”

“The same goes for me with all of you,” you take the time to look around at all of them once more, seeing them smile softly at you in response.

“You do not have to suffer alone, Petal,” Yunho smiles assuringly in your direction. “Your worries do not burden us at all.”

You nod, shifting off of the bed with the help of Mingi and Seonghwa.

“I guess some habits are just that hard to break.” You sigh.

“Baby steps, My Love,” Hongjoong moves over to the door, a gentle smile tugging at his features as he looks back at you. “Baby steps.”

Wiping at your eyes a final time to ensure there’s no more evidence of your tears, you begin to exit Jongho’s room. You don’t even need to look their way to know that they all follow closely behind you.

Breaching the foyer, you see both Sudaem and Reina conversing softly on one of the front couches. Both spell books rest closed on the table before them. However, as soon as Sudaem senses you, she’s hopping up from the couch, he snakes shifting almost bashfully over her head.

Her gaze darts to Jongho just off to your left. “I’m glad to see you well again, King Jongho.”

Reina stands, a small quirk to her brow.

Without wasting another moment, you walk directly over to the two women and wrap them in your arms.

“Thank you.” Your voice is low, nothing but raw gratitude seeping from your tone. “For everything.”

Softly, you feel Sudaem rubbing your back while Reina pats you gently.

“I’m glad I could help.” Sudaem whispers, pulling away to stare deeply into your eyes. “If you ever need anything else, you know where to find me.”

“I appreciate that,” you smile, nodding as you step away to give them both some space. “Know that the sentiment is shared.”

“Anyways, I best be going now,” Sudaem shuffles slightly on her feet, reaching over to grab her spell book from the coffee table that rests beside her. “I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“Wait, how will I be able to contact you for lessons?” Reina’s eyes widen ever so slightly, and you recognize that almost desperate look shining within anywhere.

The corner of your lips quirk upwards knowingly.

“If you ever need me, send word with Stella.” Sudaem smiles, and you watch as Reina nearly swoons.

“Okay,” she nods, quite enthusiastically.

“It was lovely meeting you!” Sudaem directs the comment towards your best friend as she waves goodbye, her snakes hissing happily.

“You, too!” Reina waves back as Sudaem walks over to the guys for the moment.

“Uh, would it be okay if one of you-“

“Already on it,” Yunho smiles lightly at the gorgon, teleporting her back to her own domain in an instant. In a blink, he’s returns, straightening out the front of his shirt slightly.

“So,” you wiggle your brow teasingly at Reina, “Sudaem, huh?”

“Shut up.” Reina grumbles, pushing you playfully.

“She’s sweet, isn’t she?” A knowing smirk tugs at your lips as you watch your best friend avert her gaze somewhat bashfully.

“So,” Reina clears her throat, composing herself a bit better for the moment, “introductions now, or later?”

You motion to the guys with your hand, letting them decide for themselves if they’d like to introduce each other to your best friend. Your void has long since been back up, so you take the time to brush against their minds now.

Immediately, they all brush back.

“I think introductions are a great idea,” Hongjoong says, a small quirk to his lips. “After all, you helped save our brother.”

She nods, a kind look resting on her features as they all incline their heads to her in thanks.

“Hang on a second,” you lift a hand once more in a halting motion as you look at Reina. “How did you know that Yeo was what he was when he dropped me off?”

“I’ve seen portraits,” she shrugs, “but I didn’t know their names. My gran was adamant about not,” she clears her throat, nose scrunching as she prepares to imitate her grandmother, “incurring the wrath of the Eight Kings by invoking their names.”

You can’t help it, an amused snort escapes you.

“So, I recognized him, but I didn’t know which one he was until you told me his name.” She explains, to which you nod your head. “I am very interested to learn which ones are which based off of what you told me.”

Just then, a loud mewl is heard from the hallway leading to your room. A loud gasp is escaping Reina’s lips as a black cat struts into the room, tail flicking back and forth eagerly in the air.

“Is that Kuroo?” Her lips part, an excited smile pulling at her features.

Softly, Kuroo weaves his way through all of your legs, brushing languidly against both yours and Mingi’s the longest. A moment later, and he’s trotting over to Reina who bends down to extend her hand out to him. Cautiously, he sniffs at her fingers before beginning to rub his face all over her.

Giggling, she begins to scratch at his head, Kuroo beginning to purr loudly all the while.

“Well, aren’t you just the handsomest man of the hour.” She coos, chuckling as Kuroo chirps back happily in response.

“Oh, no, don’t say that.” Wooyoung sighs, almost exasperatedly. “It’ll go straight to his already overinflated head.”

“But he’s so cute!” She coos, picking him up to hold him in her arms. “And fluffy!”

A content mewl greets all of you in response.

“Kuroo is Sammy two-point-oh.” You say, watching as understanding passes over Reina’s features. “Just less of a troublemaker.”

“Ah,” she nods, rocking him gently in her arms, “I see.”

Softly, she begins cooing at him once more, and you can just tell that he’s just loving every second of it.

“Okay, so,” you quirk a brow, “introductions?”

“Oh, wait,” Reina’s lip quirks mischievously in the corner, “can I guess?”

You snort out a laugh, gaze darting to the males beside you who shrug nonchalantly. “Be my guest.”

“Hang on, there’s actually one of you who I’ve been dying to know whom is who since she told me.” She admits, eyes scanning over all of them. “I know him,” she motions to Yeosang with her chin seeing as she holds onto Kuroo for the moment, “but which one of you is Yunho, the painter?”

Said male’s brows raise slightly in amusement, waving his hand to indicate that he is who she’s looking for.

“I would give you a thumbs up, but my hands are full,” she chuckles. “Either way, nice.” An approving nod is sent his way. “So far, you’re my favourite.”

The looks all several of his brothers send him in mild disbelief has a laugh falling from your lips.

“It was the portrait, wasn’t it?” You turn to look at Reina, a grin tugging at your features.

“Literally, why isn’t it hanging right there?” She shifts Kuroo over to her one arm, motioning to the central wall behind the front desk. “Guy paints what is presumably the most beautiful portrait of a gorgeous lady you’re all in love with, and you can’t even display it in your front foyer?”

Reina tuts, shaking her head teasingly.

“Don’t give them any ideas,” you whisper lowly.

Mingi tilts his head slightly in acknowledgment. “She does have a point.”

“See!” Reina replies, somewhat exasperatedly. “The cat dad understands!”

“Cat dad?” Mingi quirks a brow.

“Are you not Mingi? The one who got this little rascal for her?” Reina pats Kuroo lightly on the butt, receiving a small whine from the cat in response.

“I am.” He confirms. “How did you-“

“He rubbed against you the longest out of all of you,” she blinks, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. In the next moment, she pulls the cat away to brush her nose against his own, a teasing lilt to her voice, “besides his mommy.”

A hand comes up to muffle your laughter as you hear Kuroo complaining loudly. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he’s embarrassed. He jumps down from Reina’s hold quite quickly after that, strutting away back down the hallway and towards you room.

You walk over to Reina, flinging an arm around her shoulders as you lean on her teasingly for support.

“Okay, so,” you grin, “You technically know four of them.”

“That I do,” she hums, gaze briefly darting over to meet Jongho’s. She sends him a polite smile, noticing how he nods briefly back. “Let’s see, we’ve got the cook, the dancer, the tailor, and the one who should have told you he liked playing with knives sooner.”

At her words, Hongjoong’s eyebrow twitches.

“Ah-ha!” She points at him, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. “So, you’re the one she got with the steak knife.”

A snort of laughter is heard from Wooyoung at this, and even Yeosang, San, and Mingi all have a hard time suppressing their chuckles.

“You’re lucky, then,” Reina continues, a devious look shining behind her eyes as he quirks a brow. Despite your attempts to stop her, she holds you off from covering her mouth. “Normally, she just threatens to stab you instead.”

“Reina,” your voice is a bit exasperated as you whine out her name.

Despite the fact that they all quirk their brows in some way, Wooyoung looks the most visibly eager to learn more.

“What else does she threaten to do to people?” He leans the slightest bit forward, excitement gleaming in his gaze. Though, he knows that he’s not the only one dying to know.

“Well, not so much actually threaten, but she has very vivid rants about certain people.” Reina hums knowingly. “My ex is one of them.”

“Yeah, well,” you turn to look at her. “He deserves to get his dick ripped off and shoved down his throat for what he did to you.”

“Case in point,” Reina chuckles knowingly, motioning to you beside her with her hand. “Though, I’d say that was one of your more tamer ones. Wouldn’t you?”

You shrug lightly, a slight hum escaping you.

“Anyways,” she turns her attention back to the three remaining males she’s yet to identify. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you’re the dancer,” she points at San, “he’s handsy,” she points to Wooyoung, “and you’re the ‘pretty boy’.”

Seonghwa’s eyes look as if they’re ready to fall out of his head for the second time that day as both Wooyoung and you burst out laughing.

“Oh, you were doing so well, too.” You pat her on the back.

Lowly, Seonghwa begins to grumble about being referred to as handsy once more, crossing his arms over his chest. A large pout tugs at his features all the while as his brothers all chuckle around him.

“It was one time!” He frowns.

“Oh, it was more than once,” the corner of your lips quirk upwards in a knowing grin. At the way his pout deepens, you’re quick to add, “I never said I didn’t like it.”

“Ew!” Reina slaps your arm teasingly. “There are children present!”

“Children?” Yeosang quirks an amused brow.

“Yeah,” Reina snorts. “Me!”

“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes. “Who was it that called me to drive her to the ER because she got her-“

A hand is slapped over your mouth quite suddenly, a nervous chuckle escaping her lips. Not even a moment later, her face is contorting in disgust as she pulls her hand away, wiping her palm on your sleeve, seeing as you licked her.

“You are gross.” She sticks her tongue out at you.

“You love it.” You playfully bat your eyelashes at her in response.

“Yeah, yeah,” teasingly, she gives you a light shove while rolling her eyes.

None of the males across from you can prevent the way loving smiles pull at their features as they watch you interact with you best friend. It seems as if the more time you spend with her, the more you relax. A fact of which they could not be happier about. Besides, you seem to be having fun.

“Anyways, you’re half right about Woo being handsy number two, though,” you motion to the aforementioned male with your chin.

“Hey!” He whines, a dramatic pout tugging at his features.

“You’re still in second place, Sunshine.” You grin fondly, mirth dancing behind your gaze as you meet his own.

“Oh, damn,” Reina says. “I really screwed up at the end there.”

“You were off by one each, if you rotated them to the left,” you pat her back assuringly.

“My bad,” she smiles somewhat nervously.

“At least you didn’t say Mingi was the cook,” San grins, his eyes crinkling at the sides.

“Hey!” Said male whines.

“To be fair, I thought he was handsy at first,” Reina shrugs.

Yunho immediately bursts out laughing, slapping Mingi on his back as the younger male begins to turn bright red.

“He definitely could be,” Hongjoong sighs, shaking his head somewhat fondly.

“If you think I’m bad with my fantasies…” Wooyoung trails off, immediately taking off down the hallway as the elder male begins to chase after him.

Reina laughs, looping her arm around your waist. “I can tell it’s never a dull moment with these guys.”

“You have no idea.” You smile lovingly at them, seeing the way Kuroo now chases after Wooyoung, too, with Mingi in tow.

“Well, now that that’s settled,” she turns her head to you, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Wanna give me a tour of the house?”

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mothmanssweetsucculentass · 5 months

Text

Ok here’s my two cents that no one asked for on the current (sort of?) debate going on in the Creepypasta fandom on here rn.

For starters, I grew up with Creepypasta. I also grew up mentally ill. I am also autistic. So I know my way around good and bad mental health rep at this point. And to be honest? A lot of the original stories DID suck balls at representation or just horror writing in general.

However, nowadays I see other people on here, often mentally ill or any other social outcast, taking these characters and reshaping them as their own to fit their own feelings and experiences, and I don’t think anyone has the authority to criticize things like that. Cringe culture is supposed to be dead anyways, nevermind the fact it’s inherently ableist at its core.

We also need to take into account kids still exist in the fandom. Pre teens who got tired of shit like scooby doo and wanted something more “mature” or “edgy” to get into without fully going off the deep end into full blown horror movies. At least that’s how it was for me. Not everyone, especially someone who’s younger, is gonna be comfortable with the grit and gore a lot of Creepypasta “purists” are pushing for these days, and that’s okay! When a fandom gets popular it’s always inevitable and unavoidable to have the popular characters get two dimensionalized.

There’s also the whole mascot horror thing that I don’t wanna get into, but I’m 90% sure that also plays a part in the old favorites like Jeff and slenderman being brought up again. They were and still are recognizable characters. Recognizable characters aren’t a bad thing. Making horror more approachable for younger audiences isn’t a bad thing. People having their own interpretations based out of their own experiences isn’t a bad thing.

Some of us grew up and wanted the more edgy and reality based content, and that’s also not a bad thing! But neither side should be dictating or policing how the other enjoys content in this fandom. If you personally don’t like the way something is written, characterized, depicted, or drawn, no one’s forcing you to look at it. No one’s claiming it as canon. No one’s asking for you to accept it as the end all be all.

At the end of the day this fandom was built on OCs and personal depictions of stuff. I can’t name a single character or story in this community that was created by some outside party like a movie or TV studio FIRST (because I know some got so popular they breached the fandom and got their own shows/movies/comics/etc). Everything here was created by someone who wanted an outlet for their creativity, or their pain, or their coping, or whatever else.

Realism and dark headcanons aren’t bad, and neither are any of the headcanons out there who just wanna make a goofy found family of social rejects as a form of escapism.

A 13 year old drawing a fictional layout of a fictional mansion where these fictional characters live isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the horror, I promise, it’s not that deep and it never was.

A 22 year old making a dark comic on the realistic origins of Jeff who is a fictional character in a fictional world isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the more softhearted side of the fandom.

Sure, there can still be a split if people are so adamant about that, but as someone who personally enjoys both the brutal horror side and the “haha Jeff is 15 and gay” sides equally, y’all need to at least learn to be civil to anyone who has a different headcanon than you. And if that seems like too much still, the block button exists for a reason.

TL:DR this fandom is based entirely off OCs and headcanons and people can do whatever the fuck they want because none of it is real and horror comes in many shapes and sizes and intensities and no one should be bashing anyone on their headcanons or views or rewrites or whatever else.

EDIT:

Actually wait I think I have more to say-

Horror, like any genre, has NO AGE LIMIT. And by that I mean, if someone younger wants to delve into scary stuff, they should be allowed to do so without criticism. I personally grew up on “child friendly” horror media like Scooby-Doo, and the older I got the more horror I wanted to experience.

There’s no right or wrong way to “understand” horror, and I frankly think it’s ignorant and stupid to say if you don’t fully “understand” something, then you shouldn’t be involved in it at all. Horror isn’t always about gore and unspeakable violence and the eldritch entity that wants everyone’s skin inside out. That’s why horror has sub genres for fucks sake. Gut wrenching brutality against innocent people isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay!

However, bashing anyone’s tamer headcanons, or calling anything anyone interprets differently than you “stupid”, that’s not okay. God, I feel like an exhausted parent giving this lecture to fellow adults, but this really needs to be said and stressed.

I am an adult. I like when stuff in the fandom takes a dark turn. But for nostalgia’s sake, I also love the fanon so much, because that’s what I was exposed to.

And for fucks sake if it comes down to picking sides, I would rather stick with the part of this fandom that gives zero shits how you see a character as long as you’re having fun.

You can have your serial killer 30 year old Jeff and your canon-accurate-to-that-one-image eyeless Jack, but don’t shit on other people if they don’t want the same thing. Your interpretation isn’t canon, and neither is anyone else’s for that matter.

Realistic, dark, gritty Creepypasta isn’t a new concept, and neither is “adult” Creepypasta. And by the way, Creepypasta was never stated to be for adults. That’s like saying kids and only kids can eat trix cereal. It sounds that stupid on paper.

Let people interpret things the way they wanna interpret. No one is infringing on YOUR character ideas. Creepypasta has no age limit, nor a set way the horror has to be presented. Those who do continue to claim that just sound like pretentious assholes.

Very small side note, I personally think it’s inappropriate and rude to keep using Toby as a “bad example” of mental health rep when the creator has stated multiple times the character is old, not researched, and not even in the fandom anymore. Leave the poor guy alone.

#creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #jeff the killer #rant #I’m not a professional in anything don’t @ me #I’ve just been here for years #so I at the very least partially know what I’m talking about #I personally think this purist mindset and behavior is bs if you go and attack other creators #just be nice to people Ohmygod #update #eyeless Jack #slenderman

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somanyratsinthewalls · 7 months

Text

Burning Hearts Chapter 13

“I

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC

Summary: You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?

**MINORS DNI** ADULT CONTENT

TW: Kissing, dry humping, clothed sex, smokable plant usage.

WC: 3100 LOL

Taglist: @zoros-fourth-sword @cottoncandyloverrrr @nothing-but-brass

Burning Hearts Chapter 13: Accidental Dosage

— —

“You keep dropping your shoulder, leaving yourself open for attack.”

“I’m not dropping shit, you’re nit-picking- UGH!” You were knocked backwards into a tree trunk.

“You were saying?” Law cheekily grins from across the clearing.

You roll your eyes while you catch your breath from the impact.

“One of these days, Law, your mouth is going to write a check your ass can’t cash.” You sputter as you lunge towards your opponent, blade in each hand.

Your attack is predictably blocked by Law’s giant katana and he forces you back again.

“I have no problem putting my money where my mouth is.”

*GRWWOOAAAR*

Both of your heads snap in the direction of the sound emanating from the dark woods.

“The fuck was that?” You turn to Law and ask.

“Probably some sort of-“

*RRRRAAA*

A giant brown bear no less than 800 pounds bursts through a gap in the tree line and lumbers into the clearing, teeth bared.

“Bear.” Law finished with an unamused expression.

“What do we do?” You asked, heartbeat in your throat.

“It’s fine.” Law states casually. “Room. Shambles.”

At once, in a flash of blue, Law is right in front of the bear and rapping it harshly on the nose with his blade. The bear yelps. Before you could even comment, Law was back at your side at the edge of the clearing.

“No need to show off.” You huff.

Suddenly, the bear does something you don’t expect. It brings its front paws up to its nose in pain. The bear flops backwards holding its muzzle and starts to wail and cry like a toddler.

“What’s it doing…” You cock your head, confused.

“It’s… throwing a tantrum?” Law speculates.

*GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

A much louder, deep sound resonates through the forest around you.

*crash* *snap* *thump*

*ROOOAARR*

You notice the tops of trees being felled in the distance, but not comfortably far away. You realize what it was.

“You fucking moron… that was the baby bear… and we just pissed off mom…” You look to your right and make eye contact with Law.

“Oops…” Law’s eyes widen.

With a thunderous growl, an unimaginable beast emerges into the clearing. This brown bear was no less the size of a two story building and looked ready to swallow the both of you whole.

With shocked expressions the both of you take several steps backwards.

“Well? Any brilliant plan here, Mr Warlord?” You snap without taking your eyes off the face of the snarling creature.

“Unless you have any bowls of porridge on you… I think we have to fight this thing.” Law draws his blade.

“Great.” You sigh and unsheathe your swords as well.

“You’ll take it from the top?” Law asks.

“Got it.”

*Grrrrrr*

The massive bear growls lowly and stalks towards the two of you, readying itself to attack.

“On my word…” Law was waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and you held yourself to his go.

*sniff sniff*

The bear was so close you could smell the salmon on its breath. You shuddered.

“Now!”

You spring up into the air and unfurl your wings and launch an attack on the beast from above the nape of its neck. Law was working at disabling the creature from its legs and arms. The two of you fought for what seemed like ages against the hulking monster.

During your assault on the back of the animal you hear Law groan from somewhere underneath you. You land back on the ground and see Law pinned to the dirt by one large paw, fighting off the bear’s jaws from piercing his neck.

“Law!” You see red and your vision blurs. You find yourself no longer in control of your body and are hurtling towards the beast at an alarming rate, driving your head straight into the side of the animal.

The giant beast groans as your slam it off of Law, leaving two gored holes in its side where you had made contact.

“Hhaaaa!” You scream as you turn to slam your black spiked tail into the creature’s head. You don’t remember changing forms, all you knew is you had to make sure Law was safe. You sigh as you realize the mother bear was now finally unconscious. You notice the smaller one out of the corner of you eye and you let our a bellow that was far more beast than human…

Upon hearing your cry, the baby bear retreated back into the woods.

Your chest heaves and you finally come to your senses, looking around to find Law. He was already up on his feet and making his way towards you. He looked… shorter?

“Holy shit… look at you…” Law looks up at you.

You look down at your feet. They weren’t yours anymore. Huge black, scaled and clawed haunches were where your normally slender tanned legs would have been. This must have been how you launched yourself at the bear so forcefully…

Your head was swimming… what ugly features…

“Daisy? You okay?” Law’s voice sounded like he was underwater to you.

You look over at the giant bear’s body and notice the two puncture wounds you had made in its side. You gingerly pat at the top of your head. You feel something that isn’t just your hair… two curved horns protruded from your skull.

“No…” You gasp.

Everything goes black.

— —

You wake up alone in your own bed at the base. You try to process what had happened in the clearing but you felt sick thinking about it. You couldn’t help but think that this training was more than you could take. Maybe you were just naturally weak, unable to handle this powerful of a Devil Fruit ability… maybe you should renounce the pirate life and tell your crew to go on without you after the 2 years is up…

*knock knock knock knock*

“Hiiiii bitch good morning! Just kidding good afternoon. Heard you kicked a bear’s ass into next week?” Ikkaku comes into your room without waiting for a response. She carried a pile of clothing in her arms.

“It was way bigger than just a bear…” You sigh as you sit up in bed.

“Well either way, the weather’s going to change soon so we need to get our tan on before we’re stuck offensively pale for the rest of the season.”

“You want to go tanning? In the yard? I don’t have a bathing suit. I don’t exactly go swimming often…”

“You don’t think I thought of that? That’s why I brought you some of mine to choose from. Hurry up, we’re burning daylight!”

— —

What incredible power she held. If only she wasn’t so afraid of it. She saved his life today.

Law sits at his desk pouring over more books about ancient devil fruits. She could take on the world with this ability if only she would push herself to harness it. Law felt partially responsible for her stubbornness to use her abilities, he had become softer on her since… acknowledging the feelings he held for her. He battled with the idea of pushing her to harness her full strength and the thought of cultivating a romantic relationship with her.

Law pushes back in his chair and rubs his eyes. The smell of warm baked goods hits his nose. Law sits up straighter. Man… that smelled nice…

“Captain! Daisy made brownies, come have some!” Penguin calls from outside his office door.

Brownies.

How could anyone resist that luxurious aroma?

Law is brought out of his office by the smell of sweet treats like a cartoon character being drawn by a pie cooling on a windowsill. He makes his way to the main living area and finds his whole crew minus Daisy and Ikkaku shoveling chocolate brownies into their mouths.

“Here cap, have one! I’ve already had 3! They’re so good!” Penguin hands him one as he enters the room. Law inspects the confection before taking a bite. The flavors were immaculate, even he couldn’t deny that. Daisy truly had a knack for baking. They tasted a little different from the brownies he had eaten before in his life, but they were beyond delicious. Law quickly gobbles up the rest of the square.

“Hey you two.” Shachi approaches Law and Penguin. “Seen the garden recently?” He says with a smirk on his face, pointy teeth poking through.

“Why?” Penguin asks.

“I dunno. I think you should check it out, though. Sooner rather than later.” Shachi’s grin grows and he heads back to sit on the couch.

Law’s curiosity is piqued. He turns tail quietly and heads to the back door of the base that headed straight out to the yard.

“Wait I’m coming too!” Penguin hollers and picks up his pace to follow his captain at his heels.

The two men exit the base through the back door and round the corner towards the garden.

Law gasps and throws his arm out to the side to block Penguin from proceeding any further.

“Holy shit…” Penguin breathes out heavily.

Several yards away, seated on lounge chairs were Ikkaku and Daisy taking in the sun.

They both held magazines and beers in their hands as they laughed about something they were reading in their gossip rags. Ikkaku wore a low cut pink one piece swimsuit while Daisy wore a black string bikini.

This was clearly Ikkaku’s bikini, seeing as how Daisy’s breasts struggled to maintain their position in the tiny top. Law couldn’t help but notice the way they jiggled when she laughed. The small triangles holding in her supple flesh strained against her ample chest.

Law felt the crotch of his pants tighten. He remembered he wasn’t alone.

“we… we should go back inside.” Law mutters.

Penguin said nothing. Mouth still wide open. Law grabbed the sleeve of his jumpsuit and dragged him back inside the base.

“pervert…”

— —

“The sun’s almost down. We should head back in.” You said to your friend.

“Ugh, back to that sausage fest? I could stay out here all day.” Ikkaku lays back in her chair.

“I almost got eaten by a bear this morning. I’m ready to eat and go to bed early. What’s with you and Peng anyway?”

“Nothing really. We hook up sometimes but it’s not serious.” Ikkaku says casually.

“you’re hooking up???” You sit up on your elbows.

“I mean sort of! He goes down on me, that’s it.”

“THAT’S IT? You’re getting licked and I’m just hearing about it now?” You gasp.

“When was I supposed to tell you! You’re always playing nurse ratchet to the captain.”

You roll your eyes.

“Well is it good at least?” You lift your sunglasses and ask.

“Not really… but he’s learning.” Ikkaku chuckles.

“Men are very trainable.”

“That they are.”

As the two of you clink your beers in agreement, Bepo stumbles out into the garden. He looked disoriented.

“Woah, what’s wrong big guy?” You rise to your feet.

“Miss Daisy! We need your help! Quick!”

— —

“YOU FUCKING ATE ALL OF THE BROWNIES?” You scream at the crew of white jumpsuit clad pirates in front of you. “I put a god damn note on these saying these were MY brownies and for NO ONE ELSE to eat them!”

“Yes but we just thought since you make us other stuff to eat we could have these too!” Bepo was panting and looked very nervous.

“No way…” Ikkaku holds in a laugh.

“Are you guys that fucking stupid?! Do you have ANY idea how much herb you’ve all just ingested?!?” You continue ranting at the men.

“I don’t really think they need yelling right now, D…” Ikkau puts her hand on your shoulder.

You look around the room. Jean Bart was asleep in the middle of the floor, Uni and Shachi were huddled together on the couch looking terrified, other crew members were pacing the floor, Penguin was rambling to himself in the doorway. Even Bepo was having a hard time holding it together… he must have eaten a lot…

Your eyes were drawn to Law, who was seated on a singular cushion in the corner of the room with his knees pulled up to his chest and eyes bugged wide.

“Fucking idiots…”

“Miss Daisy what do we do… please help…” Bepo digs his claws into your shoulders.

You rub your eyes and sigh. You clear your throat.

“EVERYBODY! Go to bed! Lay down! Turn on the TV or some music and just sit the fuck down! The sooner you go to sleep the sooner this will be over! And once this is over I can beat the shit out of you all for eating all my weed!”

The room is silent for a moment before the group of terrified men heed your orders and head to the door.

“Can you make sure everyone makes it to their rooms okay? I’m gonna check on your greened-out captain.” You ask Ikkaku as you nod towards Law huddled in the corner.

“Got it.”

“I’ll come check on everyone in a bit.”

Ikkaku nods and follows everyone out of the living room.

You approach Law and kneel down next to him slowly.

“Hey… how’s it going?” You speak in a soft, gentle voice. You get no response.

“Whatchya doing, pal?” You ask.

“Breathing.” Law states, not making eye contact, still staring wide eyed at some unknown point across the room.

“Right, right okay good! Breathing is good!” You were trying so hard to hold in your laughter. “Can you maybe come with me and we can get you into bed?” Law nods and you help him rise to his feet. He follows you wordlessly to his room and you get him seated on his bed.

“I’m going to check on everyone else, how about you change and get into bed, okay?” You ask carefully.

Law nods. You leave him to go do rounds in the rest of the state rooms. Most of the rooms were full of very happy or very sleepy men, but you found quite the interesting situation upon reaching Penguin and Shachi’s room.

You open the door and find Penguin curled up like a toy poodle in Ikkaku’s lap as she strokes his hair. Shachi was peering out the windows and breathing heavily.

“This one’s fine…” Ikkaku nods down at the man in her lap. “But the other one thinks the government is here to murder us.” She rolls her eyes at you.

“Shachi if you don’t get your ass in bed right now I’m going to beat your ass worse than a Marine Admiral would and I MEAN that.” You growl at him.

“They’re watching us right now! You don’t hear that?” Shachi exclaims.

You huff and grab the mans face in your hands.

“You’re fucking high, you idiot. If you don’t chill out I’ll make sure you’ve got bigger issues.”

Shachi, terrified, tucks himself into bed.

You give Ikkaku a thumbs up and return to check on Law.

After making your way back to the captain’s quarters, you find Law laying on his back in bed, shirt unbuttoned but not off, pants off, briefs on, socks and hat still on, staring at the ceiling.

“Feeling any better?” You chirp as you quietly enter the captain’s bedroom.

“Daisy!” Law sits up and pulls the comforter over his exposed legs and thighs.

“It’s fine, Law, just relax. You okay?” You move to sit on the side of the bed at his hip. You look down and look into his eyes.

To your shock, he bursts out laughing.

“Yeah? What’s funny, huh?” You smile, seeing the normally stoic, anti-drug pirate captain high out of his fucking mind.

“Remember when I almost got eaten by a fucking bear this morning?” Law chokes out between fits of laughter.

“You’ve got a sick sense of humor, man, because I did NOT think that was very chill.” You couldn’t help but giggle along with him. Instinctively, you place a comforting hand on his chest.

Law grasps at your wrist with his right hand. He strokes it gently up towards your shoulder.

“You kicked its ass, though. Saved me.”

“You would have been fine.” You blushed.

Law’s hand makes its way up to your neck, pulling you closer.

“Your skin is so soft…” Law says lazily through hooded eyes.

You laugh.

“You’re high.” You smile down at him.

“And you’re hot.” Law smirks up at you.

“Oh stop it.” You try to brush him off.

“No seriously…” Law runs his fingers through your hair and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “When you grew those horns and those claws, you were like some sort of angel…”

You scoff.

“Not sure what kind of angels you read about… but I’m certainly not one of them.” You sigh and avert your gaze.

“Let me kiss you for a little, please?” Law, while still dazed, pleads with you.

“Ask me again after you’ve come down, you aren’t thinking right.” You move to stand up.

“Need you now, though. Don’t wanna be alone. Please?” Law grabs your wrist as you try to stand.

Holy shit he was hot when he begged. Every logical thought in your brain told you to leave but he was pleading for you so sweetly… you had to give in against your better judgment.

“Fine. A few kisses and then you’re off to bed.” You hop up onto the bed and straddle his underwear clad waist. Law smirks and grips your waist with both hands. You lean down and capture his lips in a soft kiss. You feel Law groan into your lips and it sends shivers straight down your spine.

As the kiss became more heated, you feel Law push your hips down onto his. Wait… was all of that him? Gods there was no way…

You were just in a tank dress over your swim suit so you could feel the hardened length against your core so distinctly. You were so shocked at his sheer size that you yelp in surprise as Law pushes his tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t help but notice his kissing skill was improving. Law grabs the back of your nape with one hand and pulls your backwards so he could plant wet, open mouthed kisses on your neck.

“Oh!” You gasp in pleasure, feeling his lips on your skin and his throbbing cock underneath your wet, bikini-clad sex. Law used his other hand to guide your hips back and forth across his clothed manhood.

Law digs his teeth into your neck and purses his lips to suck on it.

“Gods, Law!” You cry out.

“Nggghh!” Law groans loudly and grips your hip impossibly tight and presses your core into his pelvis.

Suddenly his hand on your waist loosens and he releases your flesh from his mouth. His head flops back onto the bed, hat askew. He was panting heavily.

“Wait.. did you?” You cock your head from your position above him.

Law covers his eyes with his arm that was just around your body.

“Shit.. yeah… I’m sorry…” He whispers out softly.

“Hey…” You move his arm and kiss his lips, his face stained beet red. “It’s okay. You’ll sleep better now right?” You chuckle.

“Ugh…”

You pull his hat off his head and set it on his bedside table. You cup his face for a moment before you rise from the bed.

“Get some shut eye. I’ve gotta check on the rest of your crew. I’ll be back to-“ You move to the archway and look back.

Law was already snoring.

You smile and head out.

— —

*Author’s Note* SORRY THIS WAS A BILLION YEARS LONG. I HAD A VISION. Omg he’s gonna be so embarrassed I can’t wait. At least he’s finally getting some sleep? Idk y’all give me some feedback here because we’re getting to the MEAT!

#one piece #one piece anime #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanart #one piece live action #one piece netflix #one piece fandom #one piece smut #law x reader #trafalgar law #law one piece #trafalgar d law #trafalgar law headcanons #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar op #trafalgardwaterlaw

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lttleghost · 2 years

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The Thematic Relevance of Jesse Pinkman as an Egg 🏳️‍⚧️

(I wrote this analysis awhile back and wanted to make a fresh post to update it!)

While not intentional, there is a lot in Breaking Bad that supports reading Jesse as an egg. This reading of Jesse has a lot of thematic and narrative relevance and also doesn't create any conflicts with the canon material. Jesse being someone who hasn’t realized he’s not actually a man yet could quite literally be canon.

This analysis is heavily based around parallels between Jesse’s character development and what Breaking Bad thematically associates with gender. It’s also heavily interconnected with the show's overarching theme of change, and also, at least for our two main characters of Walt and Jesse, the revealing of true self. There’s plenty of evidence that each of them already had the traits we see them with at the end of Breaking Bad. Jesse being this very kind and compassionate young adult and Walt being this egotistical monster.

But I would consider Walt's self-deception to be more shallow than Jesse’s self deception. While Walt did end up in a lifestyle that was opposed to who he truly was, he consciously knew what he wanted to some extent, whereas Jesse fully convinced himself that he was a different person than the one he truly is because he never really got the chance to actually figure out much about himself.

There are a lot of examples of Jesse’s disconnected sense of self throughout the show, but the first one that comes to mind has to do with his superhero OCs-

EDIT: YO! if you find video essays more engaging than reading a bunch of text, this analysis now also comes in video form [link]

I think that Jane’s observation that all of them looked like Jesse was, in fact, correct. I wouldn’t consider him doing this as a conscious decision but I feel that he almost admits it. After initially denying that his OCs looked like him and after Jane affectionately teases him he ends up saying to her “like you never wanted a superpower.” And while you could interpret this as just a response to her teasing, I’m convinced that there’s an additional layer to it. Especially because when Jane leaves to check the door, there's a moment where Jesse looks at the sketchbook with his drawings and it seems like he’s considering something, and I’d bet you anything that what he’s thinking about is whether or not he had actually drawn himself and this is REALLY interesting since-

Jesse is a criminal right? And while superheroes themselves are technically criminals as well, as vigilante justice isn’t actually legal, they’re still typically known to be ‘crime fighters’, and Jesse describes his characters as being such. So with his OCs subconsciously being depictions of himself and them being superheroes (crime fighters) and his current life as a criminal, you get the image of someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants deep down.

There’s no way that Jesse’s current delinquent lifestyle was his truly… preferred path. It’s much more likely it was the only thing he thought he could do successfully. It’s evidently been the one thing he’s made a decent living off of. He has no support from his parents, and doesn’t seem like he has had it since he was a highschooler. Jesse is shown to have no support outside of the drug trade. Most of his personal skills and interests are artistic or honestly domestic in a world that assigns more value to academics and he’s a highschool graduate who doesn’t have any job experience.

I also believe Jesse is very aggressively ADHD coded, and the combination of having virtually no support, struggling with addiction, and having undiagnosed and improperly self medicated ADHD would make slogging through any “respectable” job that he has access to, or any job that his parents might encourage him to do, unbearable.

So the drug trade was his best bet, Jesse even views cooking meth as a form of art, something that he’s passionate about.

I can’t in good faith ignore that doing something that is... generally frowned upon, didn’t factor into what Jesse chose to do on some level, as society and the structures that it’s built on failed him and there’s an inherent sense of rebellion that often forms in a person when they’re failed like that. Granted, superheroes also tend to often contain some commentary on societies failings as well. Jesse just couldn’t actually be a real-life superhero. So with the few benefits it had in practice compared to any other job, Jesse played into the rest of the role of a criminal, and convinced himself that the aspects of it that conflicted with his personality... didn’t, probably without even noticing.

Even more to this disconnect; When Jane asks “and that’s a superpower?” in response to Jesse explaining Backwardo’s powers Jesse responds with “come on, I was a kid when I drew these, it was like four years ago.” And Jesse is 24 years old in that scene, meaning that he would’ve been 20 when he drew these characters, and when I first wrote this analysis I was wondering whether or not Jesse had gotten involved with the drug trade other than buying drugs by that time, but there wasn’t really anything I could confirm any theories with.

But now I've got the Better Call Saul episode “Waterworks” where Jesse has his second cameo, where he is in fact, 20, and in that cameo Jesse accompanying Emilio, a person we know is his partner in cooking meth, to Saul’s office makes me certain he’s in it by that point. And I just have to wonder if Jesse’s superheroes were almost a… subconscious vent, a manifestation of how being a criminal in the specific way Jesse is, is not what he wants. Something that suggests that Jesse’s actual identity and his current view of his identity don’t line up.

Another thing to point out about the cameo that could be seen as additional evidence of Jesse’s discomfort with being more than just a customer of the drug trade is that he was hanging out outside of Saul’s office, and until Kim gave him one he didn't have a cigarette, so he wasn’t out there to smoke. And while there could be other explanations to why he was outside on his own, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say, other than just his general skepticism of Saul, he was just not particularly jazzed to be where he was at that moment and not comfortable going inside.

So relating all of this to gender; that narrative of convincing yourself that you are the person that you’re supposed to be for your best chance of survival instead of being able to truly be yourself already works pretty strongly as an allegory for being trans. But to add onto that even more, thematically Breaking Bad associates “manhood” with the drug trade in one way or another, and paralleling how Jesse realizes he doesn’t fit into the drug trade like he thought he did with how he might not be a cis man like he thought he was makes for a really solid queer reading.

The whole show is pretty explicitly about toxic masculinity. Obviously in real life masculinity and manhood do not have to be toxic, and in Breaking Bad’s original intended story Jesse is a cis man who ends up not fitting into those toxic ideas of manhood.

Things that the rest of the male cast don’t blink at or at least have more mild reactions to, just tear Jesse apart. He’s also targeted at least a couple of times for having emotional vulnerability that is considered to be “not manly”. It’s much easier to point out the differences between him and the male cast than it is to point out similarities between them and this just gets more pronounced the longer the show goes on. He doesn’t really have any positive ties to being a man and I don’t think we can say we ever see Jesse actually reclaim his own sense of manhood. And I think that lack of reclamation gives even more legitimacy to the reading that, along with leaving the drug trade and all of its toxic masculinity bullshit behind, maybe Jesse just leaves behind being a man altogether, and maybe it was something that wasn’t really ever a true part of him, just like his life as a criminal.

Even at the start of the series Jesse’s attempts at hyper-masculinity come off as really goofy and performative. In episode one Krazy-8 mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might’ve ratted on him Jesse first has a much more genuine response of “that’s bullshit” which makes sense with his strong character trait of being loyal, but then he goes to say “I should kick his punk ass for even thinking that.” and it just sounds like fake bravado to me. There’s no way Jesse actually thinks he stands a chance against Emilio since Jesse has a body type that resembles a small bird and there's no way he has that little self awareness. He's just playing out a script that wasnt even well thought through, and while some of his other performances of masculinity don’t come across as that fake, there aren’t many that feel like they actually come from Jesse himself, they just feel like something that he just thinks he should do.

And while not every experience with men Jesse has is negative, there always seems to be some distance between him and the men he does have good relationships with. Jesse forms a parent-child type relationship with Mike that is healthier than any other he’s had up to that point other than probably his aunt, but there’s a part of Jesse that Mike never seems to fully get. When Jesse doesn’t want Lydia to be killed Mike says that 'this woman deserves to die as much as any man' and I think he misses that Jesse just still isn’t that keen on killing people even with everything he’s gotten involved with. Even if there are some acts of violence and even some people’s deaths he is fine with and thinks are justified, Jesse never fully adapts to “the job” the way Mike does, and Mike is just not quite able to understand that, or at least not why.

Jesse and his friends have a distance between them as well. Though they’re arguably not as entrenched in toxic masculinity as any of the other prominent men in the show are, and aren’t nearly as involved in the violence of dealing drugs despite being in the trade. Yet still Jesse’s interactions with them most of the time feel different and more withdrawn than their interactions with each other. Like Jesse really wants their presence and company and wants to fit in but there ends up being something that he can’t connect with alongside them, and this also gets more prominent as the show progresses. There’s parts where Jesse seems to be withholding how badly his “high rank” in the drug trade is affecting him when Pete and Badger seem to sort of idolize him for it and want in on it. I think Jesse sort of considers saying something to them about it, but he hesitates and doesn’t. He repeatedly doesn’t confide in them even though, while his friends do perform some facets of hyper-masculinity, they don’t really seem to target or reject vulnerability in the way most of the other men in Breaking Bad do. And Jesse’s distance from even the more harmless side of the male cast makes it feel like it’s not just the toxic masculinity that he’s disconnected from.

Jesse’s relationships with women even further separate him from the men of the show. His romantic relationships with Jane and Andrea read much more as relationships between equals, compared to Walt and Skyler or Hank and Marie. While Jesse does throw the “nice job wearing the pants in the family” insult at Walt in episode two of the first season, after Skyler almost caught him moving Emilio’s body, in Jesse’s own relationships he never actually tries to take control and doesn’t have any problem with Jane honestly being the person making more active choices for the both of them in their relationship, which Walt comments on by throwing that same “nice job wearing the pants” insult back at Jesse.

Another interesting thing found within Jesse’s relationship with Jane that ties them to specific gender roles happens after Jane doesn’t really introduce him to her father. Jesse asks about it and after a bit this Jane ends up saying “What am I supposed to say? Hey dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door and by the way I’m sleeping with him?” and Jesse replies “Is that all you think you’re doing?”

It’s been pretty common for “the guy” to be considered as the one who sees a relationship as just being sex and “the girl” to see it as being romantic, and this is a very very dumb aspect of traditional western gender roles that this scene even has to subvert, but I think in the context of Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender roles the fact that Jesse is put in the role much more typically associated with women could be viewed as significant. And this significance can be extended to the show’s most prominent dynamic, dealing with the relationship between abusive men and women, Jesse is a victim. I’m not implying men can’t be victims of other men's abuse, but it does make Jesse easier to associate with women in the story, and while the narrative association comes from a negative place, the negativity is directed towards men. But the connection it forms between Jesse and women is a sense of camaraderie and even comfort, at least on Jesse’s side.

and with those connections with women I’d say the most accurate egg interpretation of Jesse is that she’s specifically transfeminine in some way.

I think in this analysis its important to specifically examine Jesse's journey with gender questioning as I think it follows the rest of the ups and downs in her learning more about herself in the resr of her character arc. My personal interpretation of Jesse is that she is a non medically transitioning nonbinary transfem person. The not medically transitioning bit is largely because I enjoy bringing attention to the existence of no-med no-op trans people and to push the point that not seeking medical transition doesnt make a person any less trans, though I do feel that since Jesse's relationship with gender is focused on the societal side of gender roles that don't really relate to physical form that it's a reasonable interpretation that she may not medically transition. I think she uses he/him and she/her pronouns, and is maybe a futch lesbian. I’m saying all of this because it'll be the lens through which I’ll be talking about Jesse’s journey with questioning his gender and how that progresses during the timeline of Breaking Bad. However I don’t claim this to be the only version of transfem Jesse that works with my analysis, or that it's necessarily better than any others that do work. I’ll also be mentioning concepts of “offscreen” additional scenes. That being said, if you’re someone who likes to stick 100% to the text given to us, the “offscreen” scenes aren’t exactly necessary for this interpretation to work as a part of the existing story as the general emotions behind them still stand.

I don’t picture Jesse as having any definable Gender (™) experiences when he was younger other than just a general sense of not belonging, though gender wouldn’t be the only thing playing into that. But as Jesse got older and struggled more, he started to purposefully play the part of what he saw as “a man” to survive in the only role that he thought he could. I see the thought “I wish I didn’t have to be a man” crossing his mind every so often though. I think he just deals with his place in the world for awhile, but after Walt enters the scene and Jesse experiences shit he really didn’t bargain for because of his old teacher, someone who is settling into a personification of toxic masculinity, Jesse’s frustration with being a man becomes more prominent and harder to ignore internally.

In my opinion Jane is the person that helped him start to solidify what exactly those thoughts were indicating. Her approach to relationships would be considered not traditionally cishet, and so is the way she presents herself in general, so I think Jane has some sort of knowledge about the complexities of gender, if she isn't actually queer herself in some way.

And she’s one of the only people we see Jesse truly, truly open up to and so I think at some point later in their relationship Jesse might actually say something about wishing she wasn’t a man around Jane, and I can see Jane saying that Jesse doesn't have to be a man if she doesn't want to be.

But then Jane dies, and I think as a result of that and the lesson Jesse learned from rehab “I’m the bad guy” he goes into just total repression mode. Embodying this new belief Jesse very much dips into the hyper-masculine behavior of the drug trade, he is much more concerned with money beyond paying bills and having nice things, and he plans to do the one thing in the entire show that makes me truly angry at him because of this whole thing, attempting to sell drugs to the rehab group. I don’t think he would’ve ever thought of doing something like that before. He’s trying very hard to be something that’s even further from his actual nature than we’ve seen up until this point.

Part of Jesse’s grief over losing Jane, a person who he confided in probably more than anyone else at that point, was to just completely close up, even to himself. Forget all of those parts of himself that resisted the rougher aspects of the drug trade he was getting dragged into and definitely forget about wondering if he really is a man or not.

At least until meeting Andrea and Brock, which snaps him out of that “I’m the bad guy” mindset, but by that time I think just, too much starts to happen for Jesse to have much time to question her gender. I wouldn’t consider her to be as actively repressing any sort of “I wish I wasn’t a man” thoughts but the amount of turmoil and danger that she’s in, just really really doesn’t lend itself to that sort of gender introspection as much.

I’ve got some additional thoughts on Jesse’s journey with gender that are more headcanons than actual analysis of the show so I didn’t include them in the text above. But I still really wanted to share because I like them and think that they really add to the analysis, so here they are;

I mentioned that I don’t think that Jesse had any particularly notable moments that might’ve suggested that she was trans when she was younger other than feeling out of place, but maybe he did have some interest in playing with “girls stuff” and her parents discouraged it because as we know they’re the shitty type of people who value their child being “normal” at the price of that child’s happiness, but I can also see her being one of those kids who just didn’t even grasp the differences between boys and girls stuff for a longer time than others, or I can even see Jesse’s last connection to the "male" side of gender being from when she was a little boy, before he was aware of the concept of what being a man was, and that it would be expected of her.

But later, in his adulthood, after the idea and pressures of "manhood" became very present in his life, one of the more certain instances of gender questioning I picture Jesse having is at some point while hanging out with Badger, Pete and Combo, Jesse screws around and puts on a dress. And he's like “haha I look like such a queer don’t I?” but is internally thinking something more along the lines of “ I will die before I tell anyone how this makes me feel” (that being that it makes him feel happy).

And then, as we enter into the timeline of the show itself; when Jane first tells Jesse that he doesn’t have to be a man if he doesn’t want to, I don’t actually think that Jesse would be receptive of it at first. I think it’s more likely that he’d decide he suddenly doesn’t want to have this discussion anymore and change the subject. Jesse would still have the misconception that you need to medically transition or at least be required to fit some sort of ‘criteria’ to be trans, instead of just identifying as a different gender than your assigned sex, and I think that would play some role in his not wanting to talk about possibly being trans. And even more because, while he could opt out of telling anyone that he’s trans, Jesse’s in a world in general that isn’t trans-friendly, but the drug trade he’s in specifically is very lgbtq-phobic. Jesse himself is definitely gonna have some internalized transphobia, we’ve seen his homophobia, and I definitely read that as a result of his environment rather than actual hatred considering at Jesse’s true core he’s a pretty caring person. But there are definitely people in the drug trade who would be violently homophobic and transphobic, and Jesse would know that, and would probably perceive even realizing that he is trans to be a threat to his safety. But, later on, further into her relationship with Jane I think she’d open up, even if only to Jane.

And that’s what I like to focus on the most with this analysis, all of the happiness and freedom and healing that Jesse gets to feel detaching himself from manhood, something that honestly contributed so much to every part of his suffering. And god does this girl deserve some happiness.

Then when for the most part too much is going on for Jesse to consider whether or not he’s trans, I still sometimes think of a situation where Jesse might’ve suggested? Her gender questioning to Mike, and while I don’t think Mike’s personal reaction would be technically negative, I think he’d tell Jesse to ‘please not share that with anyone else kid’. Which would be discouraging to Jesse, and she’d quickly backtrack, some because of the reaction on its own but also because he really already knows that it’d be stupid to say anything to anyone else, but it’s not until Jesse’s really free from the drug trade that she can finally crack that egg. I really like to think about the comfort and relief Jesse would get to feel no longer having to try and be a man, cause she finally realizes that she isn’t one.

#breaking bad #jesse pinkman #jesse breaking bad #trans jesse pinkman #queer analysis #breaking bad analysis #brba #jesse brba #this is my girlfriend don't touch him #meat.txt #this is a shortened and edited bit of my video essay script #i just like.... HAD to update my inital text analysis while im working on figuring out how to successfully record my video #cause the old one is so jumbled and stufff #or it feels jumbled to me now at least

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hawnkoii · 8 days

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(TW: Mentions of d€@**th + r@**p€ threats, incest, NSFW)

@cherrysuzaku / @serenesaku the things you have lied about on my name.

I have heard and read everything and I have never heard bigger lies in my life. I have been informed of what you told people behind my back, telling them i know things that I genuinely was not aware of just so you can paint me as a bad person. If you’re going to lie about something, at least try to make it sound believable. I should be showing all of our discord messages, showing everyone how you made weird fetishized cuck headcanons of my oc watching your oc, Hanako, and Urogi have sex. I should show them the oc you drew and attempted to ship him with Sumine. I should show everyone how you kept bugging me to draw you something, and if the commission came out bad, you wouldn’t pay me for it. I will show a glimpse of our messages below 👇 because there will be some to accuse me of aimlessly talking out of my ass with no proof. (Warning: NSFW)

I did not say anything at the time since I felt like I was overthinking, and others didn’t complain about you. I did not say anything as I did not speak to many people in the community at the time, and I wanted to keep and make mutuals. I did get petty, as shown in the screenshot, because i was tired of your constant weird headcanons. Should I have said flat out I didn’t like it? Yes, I should have, but I didn’t want to come off as a prude. I felt bad cause i felt like I just scolded you, so i followed up by saying “it’s not a big deal”. I tried to leave subtle hints that I didn’t like it, not that I want to gatekeep the character, but I hated how you put my oc down like that. Your attempt to pull my oc away, make my oc look bad, make ME look bad, and literally bother me to make an oc x oc ship with you after I said NO a billion times is disgusting. I always wondered why no one ever complained about you, which is why I stayed silent and tried to get along with you. I’m tired of it. Thursday was my birthday and I tried to be positive but I couldn’t because of how you literally lied to people about me, leading to de**th threats, r**pe threats, and rude messages due to people thinking i was the troll, and then you have the audacity to ask me if i had a good birthday. Hell no i did not.

If there is one thing I genuinely regret now, is how I was so blind to your behavior. I don’t believe it, and I can’t believe I stayed up late a few months ago to draw you something for your birthday because I really cared for you. Have you ever cared for me in the same way I used to care about you? What were you going to do for my birthday other than be a manipulative liar that purposely left out information to me so I, and others, could sympathize with you. I wish I knew the full story so I didn’t just blindly side with you and think others were bad. You realize I saw terrible (now confirmed fake) screenshots of someone potentially being racist and straight up rude, so obviously I made insults the same way you were insulting others (they will not be name dropped). You took advantage of my vulnerability with you, victimized yourself, and I’ll never forgive you for that. You are not a victim Serene, but maybe a victim of your own delusions and ego. I am an adult as well, but remember our difference in maturity. The mental gap between an 18 yr old (I am now 19) and a 24 yr old. Your frontal lobe is more developed than mine, and pretty close to being fully developed and making better conscious decisions.

Because of your lies and how you led people on, I can’t stop getting d€@*th and r**pe threats. Am I saying that you are at fault for other’s behavior? No, i am not. But you have repeated this process so many times with others and you just don’t seem to learn. At some point your victim complex is going to lead to others getting hurt. Telling me to block and not talk to certain people, yet you go behind my back and talk to those very people yourself to incriminate me. Why did you do that? So I don’t talk and share my side of the story and you can keep me in the dark and have someone to blame? It seems like this is the reason because once I got in touch with these said people you told me not to communicate with, we realized we shared similar issues we had with you. I was relieved to hear I wasn’t the only one that was treated this way by you, and I stayed silent initially because I just didn’t want to be that guy, and because you seemed to be on good terms with a lot of people in the community. I have noticed a good chunk of the people in your server have either blocked or unfollowed me. Have you told them whole truth, Serene? Or have you just told them enough so they sympathize with you. People that have similar experiences with you can be silent about you, as it is their own story to tell when they feel comfortable, but I will not be silent about you anymore @cherrysuzaku

I would speak to you in private about this, but you have proved to me that you are not a trustable or reliable person, and I know that you will just respond with “I’m sorry” or by freaking out. You are not listening to me.

“I’m sorry” “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry” and then you never fix your behavior. If you are going to be on hiatus, LEARN something before you come back and don’t just feel sorry for yourself.

Now you are going after my friends and repeating this chain of behavior with them, leaching onto them for what I can assume is free art, which I see you have gotten unfortunately. I see you asking them weird questions and trying to form an oc x oc ship with them as well. I have seen you create an oc to ship with their oc that is already taken. God knows who else you are acting this way to. I am not stupid, Serene. The second you were pushed away by one trio that felt uncomfortable with your behavior, you try to nudge your way into mine. Don’t think I didn’t notice how less you spoke to me during that time you were all ‘buddy-buddy’ with the first trio you tried to be with. I am not one to gatekeep people, but as soon as my friends told me what you were saying to them in private, I had an internal panic. I knew exactly what you were doing the second you tried to butter up my friend with some fanart. And ofc when i recently blocked you, you go to others to complain, as I have seen, looking for someone to feel pity for you. I have tried to let the weekend pass while i deleted my Tumblr app, i have reported messages, but the threats of people saying they want to “destroy every hole in my body” and that my mother “should have ab0rted me” is too much. And that’s not even the worst message. These threats have spread to my instagram DMs. Again, i am not 100% blaming you for this Serene, but what you have said has led to this, even if you didn’t want it to go this far. It’s a permanent scar on my emotional state and my reputation, so why should I let you go?

I will also mention your neediness. When I made some fanart for my friends, this is how you reacted (first image):

(Sorry for the constant pfp change from me)

Instead of supporting my art, you made me feel terrible. I felt so bad here, but I didn’t know what else you wanted me to do. I just wanted to have fun in the community and make people I feel comfortable with feel happy as well. And if my memory serves me correctly, this is not your first time freaking out to me when I make art for friends, and it just comes off as jealousy, honestly. (2nd screenshot) Shamelessly during messages you would just randomly ask for free art and guilt trip me. Like, come on, you should just know not to do that, even if you were trying to joke. In the 3rd screenshot shown, you wanted to ship my Urogi fankid with your Urogi fankid. Why would you even suggest incest or bring it up? Not to mention you blatantly stealing character designs from me and my friends, and stealing my oc’s name shamelessly. I would think it was an accident, but as I have heard from others, you have done this before. You have stolen character concepts from others. Not to mention you even admit to knowing/feeling like you’re stealing. If you know, then stop. I shouldn’t have to tell a grown woman how to act.

Reasonable crashout from me. I will not be a pushover this time and allow myself to be threatened and slandered. I have allowed this behavior for too long. Gmfu if you think i’m letting anyone talk down on me online. I do not wish to be silent anymore, so I did not consult anyone before speaking on this. I am writing this so that people would not harass Serene back, but just be wary. I have heard her do so much worse to others, but for now it is not my right to say it since it is not my story or experience. You are not a good person Serene, and never a good 'friend' to me. If you had my best interest in mind, you wouldn’t have done the things you did, and try to accuse me of being the troll. You have genuine problem, Serene. I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, please get therapy if you have not already gotten it. And if you have, I hope you feel better soon.

#Serenesaku #cherrysuzaku #😐#🌼🌸🌼#absolutely not miss girl 😭🙏#good morning guys #actually 1pm for me

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thebardisabird · 1 year

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this is the first request ive ever made, but how would the boys react to a classic Bimbo reader? with classic blonde hair, pink clothes, expensive bags and nails, stuff like that😭 this may be a bit strange so dont answer if you dont wanna, i was just curious. thank you so much lmao 😭

We know her, we love her, she’s that girl!

So Osomatsu immediately goes gaga for you. I’m talking heart eyes, drooling, unable to think coherent thoughts kind of enamored. From your pretty long eyelashes, to your super short mini skirt to pink boot heels - he can’t seems to pick a spot where he wants to look! Every single inch of you sings sex appeal and he’s listening very intently. He knows he definitely cannot afford you tho - so he might pull off the same stunt he did for Chibimi and just about sell his soul to get a date with you. (Honestly when I think of all the characteristics you describe matched with Oso I think of @girlymatsu ‘s oc Erina-chan who is super cute and fun, please check them out, you can tell they put a lot of love in their art and you'll absolutely love their oc)

Karamatsu sees your fashion sense and instantly wants to be the Ken to your Barbie. You have this it girl factor that draws him in and with the sway of your hips and the wink of your pink, glittery shadowed eye, he’s completely under your spell. If you so choose to give him the time of day, he pays you compliment after compliment, and will take you out on a date to get coffee or a nice meal depending on what you’d like. If we’re talking about a classic bimbo trope where you’re a little on the less well-read side, then he might find it cute that you don’t really know how to pronounce some of the words of the meals or coffee drinks and he’ll try to use the opportunity to teach you some fancy words. You actually find his poses and flowery speech kinda funny, because he sounds like a poem out loud.

Choromatsu has no idea how you're even talking to him right now. He's seen you plenty of times and never ever imagined you would even say two words to him other than like... "Excuse me" if he was standing in your way. You are so far removed from all the things that encompass his life. Yet when you tell him that his favorite has super cute outfits and that you were thinking about becoming one yourself because you love the idea of all the glitz and glamour it brings, he short-circuits. You're already so gorgeous, to think of you being in cutesy outfits and dancing around? And he's allowed to talk to you? Associate with you??? The man is ready to die happy. But not as happy as when you dress up in his favorite idol's outfit - only it looks ten times better on you because your bigger chest and ass. While you don't exactly understand his love for anime, manga, and other more nerdy things, you humor him because he's just so cute when his little froggy face lights up the way it does!

Ichimatsu is intimidated entirely by you and will actively go out of his way to avoid you. You are like a beacon of light far too bright and undeserving for him to ever even get close to. Luckily for him, you notice one day that he's looking into the window of a cat cafe and you finally tap him on his shoulder and ask about whether he likes cats or not. It takes about everything he has not to throw up on the spot, but he is seriously questioning his life and whether or not some god above is about to smite him. You try to explain to him that you actually really love kitties as you point to your kitten paw choker and show him your baby pink matching kitten paw nails. At some point he realizes that you're not fucking with him and he slides out of fight or flight mode and into general nervousness. It takes a while before you can actually get him to speak (you're literally such a bombshell against his disheveled-ness, he feels very grateful that he's conscious enough to give you short answers instead of fainting like his body wants him to), but you eventually give him your number. When you part ways, then he slumps to the ground, but with the tiniest of smiles on his face.

Jyushimatsu actually makes you nervous. It's very clear that you're super attractive and bubbly, but there is a genuine sweetness to him that makes him stick out from all the other meatheads who try to normally get your attention. The yellow clad matsu isn't very subtle about staring at you and your appearance, but you honestly don't mind it when he says things like "Your hair reminds me of the sun!" or "You look like a pretty pink cloud today, haha!" The guy is just so adorable it makes you giggle. And when he smiles right back (even bigger than his usual grin), it makes you blush a bit. You end up leaving lipgloss on his cheeks all the time because you just find him so cute.

Todomatsu can't get enough of you once he gets to know you! You two feed off of each other's cutesy personalities. And since pink is both of your signature colors, you guys end up matching outfits a lot. Though the price to pay with you two being so matchy-matchy is that everyone else literally cannot stand being around you two lol. But that's fine to either of you because you both just chalk it up to them being rude and jealous and you pay it no mind...it's either that dynamic orrrrr you end up hating each others guts because only one of you can be the cutest in Akatsuka. Though that scenario ends up in an enemies to lovers situation because even though Todomatsu says he can't stand you - he definitely admits to himself (and only to himself at first) that you are positively gorgeous and the only person worthy of being at his level of pretty in pink.

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sunstone-smiles · 5 months

Text

Setting the Screen to Smile

Author's note: *Kicks down the door like Mimzy* IT’S ME! I’m back with another fic! Tumblr pulled me into the Hazbin Hotel fandom and somewhere down the line my liking for the TV man, Vox, grew even bigger. This fic includes my Hazbin OC Vicky (a pink, anthropomorphic wyvern with rotary phone features) and is based off of this drawing I did with them. I hope you all enjoy!

Series: Hazbin Hotel

Characters: Vox and Vicky (OC - Reference here!)

Word count: 2,496

Summary: Vox feels like the work day was a total waste of time, so Vicky takes it upon herself to attempt to cheer up the TV demon—with a little laughter. Enjoy!

---

Vicky knew something was off when she walked into V Tower. Demons on the production crew are speed walking across hallways and weaving in and out of rooms like it’s high traffic time. Usually it’s not as cluttered, nor is it as chaotic, especially when work is supposed to be winding down for the day. Vicky makes her way to the main elevator, dodging a demon that comes rushing out and apologizing for almost crashing into her. If all of this is going on downstairs…she wonders how Vox is dealing with the commotion.

The elevator drops her off on the top floor and she opens the door to the lounge area. When she looks into the room, her question is answered. The message of the pandemonium downstairs has traveled up the floors to reach the boss himself.

She sees Vox pacing around the empty room, talking with a phone held to the side of his head. He comes to an abrupt stop, his back turned towards the door, unaware of Vicky’s presence as he faces the glass windows like a large screen.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Vox says to the phone, “I no longer need the truck of equipment to come tomorrow, I need it for the day after tomorrow.” Vox pauses. The overlord rolls his eyes. “Yes, in two days from now.”

Vox shouts, “What?! You’re not available that day!?” He puts a hand to his face like he’s rubbing out a headache and takes a deep breath before growling out an exhale. “Alright alright. Let’s reschedule it for exactly a week from today. Same time. Same place, but I want the truck here, on time, and not a minute late! Good?”

He waits for a confirmation.

“Great.” He pulls the phone from his head and ends the call, letting out another growling sigh. He grumbles to himself as he turns around, only then perking his head up when he notices the pink anthropomorphic wyvern near the doorway.

“Oh, Vicky,” Vox’s expression visibly changes to one of comfort. The tension in his voice eases to become softer. “I didn’t hear you come in. How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough for me to hear the tail end of that conversation…” Vicky steps forward. “Is everything okay? Things seem to be a bit…disorganized.”

“That’s because they are,” Vox moves towards the sofa. “Somehow we lost all the film for a commercial that was shot today, so Velvette and I have been trying to find it all day with no results. Because the film is lost, we have to reshoot it, meaning we’re going to be a day behind schedule. And on top of that, viewer ratings are five percent down, which the commercial was supposed to help, but now it can’t, which doesn’t seem like a lot but it could add up if viewers are moving to you know who’s radio show,” Vox’s tone turns a prickly static near the last part as he fumes with annoyance at the circumstances. He calms himself, “We’ve been scrambling to reorganize things, so overall, this entire day has been an unproductive waste of time.”

Vox’s phone suddenly rings. He looks at the device, then holds the phone up to show Vicky that the name “Velvette” is across his phone screen.

“Speak of the devil.” Beep. He answers the call. “Any luck?” He waits for the other end to reply.

“It’s not there either?” Vox shouts into the phone, slowly losing more patience at the situation. “Try checking the file room. That’s the last place I can think of.” He walks towards the front of the sofa and waits for a response. No answer.

“Velvette? Hello? Hello?!” He pulls his phone away from his head. The screen is completely dark with a flashing battery icon housing a singular red bar.

He snarls at the device, then throws his hands up in an aggravating loss. “Great! Great! The battery’s dead!” He tosses his phone on the coffee table and plops onto the sofa, sprawling out horizontally with his head leaning back on the arm of the couch and his legs thrown over the other. He cups his hands over the face of his screen in utter defeat and mutters curses at the ceiling.

“Oh Vox, darling…” Vicky moves around to the front of the sofa with sympathy in her diamond-shaped eyes. Vox peeks at her in between his claws and Vicky motions her hands for him to make room for her. Vox pulls his legs to the floor so Vicky can sit next to his side, then he lifts his legs back up and plops them into her lap. “I don’t like seeing you worked up like this,” she says, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Vox drapes an arm over his eyes. “If you can find the film, that would be great. Other than that, there’s no other way to help.” Vox’s words drift off, as if he’s lost all the energy in his system.

Vicky sighs through her nose. She gently pats Vox on the stomach, then scans around the room, trying to get an idea of how to cheer him up. Maybe watching TV or a movie? No, bad idea. That will remind him of work. Maybe she could try her hand at finding the missing film? No, that might stress him out more, especially if it still turns out missing.

Again, Vicky exhales through her snout. She glances at Vox’s face, unsmiling, low-spirited, tired. It tears at her heart to see Vox’s this way. Out of ideas, she hangs her head down, staring at her claws resting on Vox’s stomach.

But only a second passes before Vicky blinks in realization. She picks up her head with a new plan. The answer is right in front of her.

“Actually,” her wyvern snout puts on a smirk, “there’s one other way that you’re forgetting.”

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” Vox slowly lifts his heavy head. Suddenly, he jolts forward like he was zapped with electricity. His arms wrap around where his stomach was poked and his eyes shoot open to see Vicky’s claws hovering over his belly. He glances upwards to meet Vicky’s smug look peering right at him.

Vox slowly starts crawling backwards with a nervous smile on his face. “Now now, Vicky dear-”

But Vicky lunges her claws at him with playful intent, tackling him to the cushions and getting a ticklish hit at Vox’s sides. He yelps from surprise, then wrestles her hands away while giggles slip from his mouth at the mere thought of her tickling him silly.

“Vicky!” Vox calls out. He jumps back from another poke that strikes him in the side. “Wahait! Darl–ING!” the overlord’s words leap with laughter when Vicky finally finds an opening to claw at his side.

With his defenses quickly crumbling with laughter, Vox crawls back and reaches the arm of the sofa. He props himself up into a sitting position, then, with the newfound leverage, Vox launches himself forwards towards the opposite end of the couch, but Vicky wraps her wings around him, catching him and nearly toppling off the side of the furniture with him.

“Oh no you don’t!” Vicky squeezes his waist, causing Vox to reel back into her arms with another fit of giggles. She then tosses him back over her lap and starts a full on tickle attack, maneuvering her claws around the flailing limbs of the giggling overlord. “You’re not going anywhere until we get you out of this rut!”

Vox wraps his arms across his body in an attempt to guard his torso. “Sohoho this is your genius plan to get me to stohohop moping?!” He curls in on himself a little from a tickly swipe at his belly.

Vicky glares down at him with a lighthearted glint in her gaze. “Are you trying to antagonize me? In your position? Doing that will only get an extra tickle,” she mischievously slides her claws upwards to dig into his ribs. Vox throws his head back with a squeal-like cackle and reflexively clamps arms to his sides. He tightens his arms around his torso and kicks his legs out above the seat cushions.

“I didn’t mehehean–!” the rest of his words for that sentence are overpowered by his laughter pouring past his fangs, “Vickyhehehehe!” He tilts his head towards the cushions, as if he was trying to hide the adorable expression on his face.

Vox could easily turn into electricity and zap himself off the sofa if he wanted to escape, but Vicky knows that the big giggly smile on his face, although he’ll be stubborn to admit it, is also in part because the TV demon is having fun.

Vicky giggles alongside Vox. “Oh my, it looks like I accidentally set the TV’s audio to giggle mode,” she teases.

“I dohoho NOT have a giggle modehehehe!” Vox denies with a faint blush forming on the pixels of his screen.

“Really? Then what do these buttons do?” Vicky uses a single claw to scribble and poke around Vox’s torso, causing Vox to let out a stream of giggles each time she moves her claw to “test” a new spot.

Vicky chuckles again at Vox’s reaction. All of a sudden, the phone-shaped end of her tail and her horns vibrate with a bell-like RING. Vicky halts from the surprise, realizing she’s getting a call.

“One moment, darling,” Vicky stops her tickle attack on Vox. He uses the free time to catch his breath as he sinks back into the couch.

Vicky clicks the phone-end of her tail in place between the spines on the side of her face, then she places the phone to her ear. “Hello? Oh! Hello Velvette!”

Vox lifts his head forward. “Velvette?!” he exclaims in surprise. He nearly forgot that his phone cut them off in the middle of their conversation. “Let me talk to her.”

Vicky gives him a disapproving look. Vox sits up, but Vicky leans back when he tries to reach for her tail phone. Narrowing his eyes at her, Vox tries again and again to swipe for the phone. Vicky dodges out of the way every time. When Vox stretches to extend his reach, she puts a hand to his chest to keep his distance from the phone as he continues to swipe away at it.

“Yeah, I get it,” Vicky responds to Velvette’s comments on the phone, partly distracted with Vox’s persistence. In an attempt to shove him away, Vicky uses her free hand to ticklishly jab at his belly. Vox clamps his arms around himself, losing his balance and toppling over onto the couch.

With a low growl, Vox sits back on his arms. He lunges himself at Vicky, nearly knocking her over and trying to crawl around her to reach her tail while Vicky holds him back.

“Give me the phone!” Vox whispers, only loud enough for Vicky to hear.

Having enough of his stubbornness, Vicky thrusts both sets of her claws to scribble into his waist. The overlord reels back with a giggly yelp and slaps his hands across the mouth of his screen, having a feeling that he was probably audible enough for the phone to pick up the sound. He flops back on the couch, trying (poorly) to hold in his giggles as Vicky shoots a glare at him while scribbling across his sides, belly, and ribs. His snickers sound like the crackling static of a TV screen when no signal is found. His heels dig at the cushions, as if moving his legs will help deter the surge of tickles coursing through his upper half.

With Vox’s attempts to steal the phone thwarted, Vicky returns her attention to the call. “What was that again, Velvette? Ah, yes. Vox’s phone died and he hasn’t charged it yet. That’s why you couldn’t get a hold of him.” She waits for a response.

“Yeah, he’s here with me, but he’s currently undergoing Vicky’s foolproof stress relief program. You know how it goes.” She smiles over at Vox—who’s still snickering audibly through his bared fangs with a hand covering half of his smile to prevent himself from exploding with laughter.

Vicky pulls the phone away from her face for a moment, “Darling, I'm on the phone. Please, try to keep your voice down,” she teases him. The gates of Vox’s laughter nearly burst right there and then.

There’s an understanding giggle on the other end of the phone from Velvette. Afterwards, she gets back as to why she called in the first place. Vicky moves her claws away and gives Vox a break. An exhale of relief seeps between Vox’s previously clenched fangs.

“Sure, I can give him the message,” Vicky responds to the phone. Seconds pass as Vicky receives Velvette’s follow up. “Alright I’ll let him know. Thanks, Velvette.” Vicky clicks the phone to her spines again to end the call. Immediately after, she dives her claws into the ribs of an unsuspecting Vox.

“HEY!” he jumps, “Whahahat is this fohohohor?!”

“Punishment. You think it’s funny to disrupt me while I’m on the phone?” she asks lightheartedly.

“Buhuhut the call was for mehehehe!”

“Hmm, fair enough,” Vicky pulls her claws away, providing a soft smile as she does so. Vox is given a chance to breathe before Vicky informs him of the call.

“So do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

Vox perks up, “There’s good news?”

“Mmhm,” Vicky nods. “I’ll save the good news last then. The bad news is that Velvette still couldn’t find the film.”

Vox’s antennas droop. “Figures…”

“But the good news is that a deadline for one of the other projects got extended, meaning now you’re not as behind schedule as you thought you once were and you can make up for the lost time.”

“Well,” Vox eases a little, “at least that’s something.”

“See, fortunately things worked themselves out this time around.” Vicky leans over and kisses his forehead. Then, she pats his shoulder. “Now you don’t have to worry as much.”

Vox takes Vicky’s hand in his and gazes up at her. A smile, softly curled like a wave, forms across his screen. It’s a unique smile, unlike the ones he has to falsely flash in front of the press. It’s one that’s genuine, relaxed, and grateful. It’s a smile that warms Vicky’s heart, seeing him this way.

Vox puts his arm behind his head and leans back on it, “I guess the day wasn’t completely unproductive then.”

“I agree,” Vicky nods. “You definitely produced an abundance of laughter, my giggly TV.”

Vox scoffs with a lingering grin, “I wasn’t that ‘giggly.’”

Vicky chuckles, taking in the joy of the moment in contrast to the chaos she witnessed earlier. “I beg to differ.” She looks at Vox with a sparkle in her diamond eyes. “But I’m glad to see you happy again, my darling Vox.”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel oc x canon #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin fanfic #hazbin hotel fic #sfw fanfiction #sfw fanfic #hazbin hotel tickles #hazbin hotel tickle #sfw tickle fic #tickle fic

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mrs-snape5984 · 3 months

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“How can you miss someone, you've never met? 'Cause I need you now, but I don't know you yet…”

“But can you find me soon because I'm in my head? Yeah, I need you now, but I don't know you yet…” (“IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23)

Being devoted to a fictional character for about 21 years can be challenging from time to time. Sure, it’s called “having a comfort character” for reasons, and I can’t deny, that my long lasting love for Severus Snape has given me the much needed comfort and consolation all over those years. He was by my side, whenever I felt the urge to escape from my traumatic reality…and fuck…there was way too much in my life, which made me flee to Severus. Don’t worry, I won’t mention all these experiences in this text (I’ve already done this in one of my other pathetically whiny posts).

But there’s another issue, that comes with the adoration for a fictional character…something torturous, heart-wrenching and devastatingly painful: It’s the piteous longing for someone, who will never be mine in real life….a goddamn feeling, which is eating me alive! Of course, I’m still coping with my current situation of being doomed to a life in darkness (fuck you, ME/CFS!!!!!) by writing my own ridiculously self-inserting fan fictions about Sevy and Jules…only for myself…solely to soothe my troubled heart. Furthermore, the many artists of Snapedom might know me as someone, who’s requesting immensely personal artworks for my blog…always using them to emphasise my journal entries here.

But there are times, when this isn’t enough anymore! I’m surrounded by Severus in my dark room… one could say, that I’m living in my private Snape-and-Wizarding-World-in-general-Museum. 😅 Everything here feels like my very own comfort blanket, which I’m pulling tighter around my trembling body to create a sensation of warmth and safety. And yet… yeah… and yet, I’m fucking lonely! Lying in darkness and solitude all day makes this cruel longing for Severus become agonising and almost unbearable. I’m bawling my eyes out for someone, who will never be able to hear my heart crying out for him. And to be honest: In my age, this is a sentiment, which I’m absolutely ashamed of!

For the past 21 years, I’ve known this miserable emotion only in this exact context. But now, something happened, which made the confines of my heart and the walls, I’ve built around myself, shatter into pieces…leaving me vulnerable and emotionally churned up like never before. Becoming close and trusting friends with someone, who’s living so far away from me - separated by the ocean - turns out to be blessing and curse at once.

Suddenly, I feel confronted by the same emotions, which my pining for Severus provokes in my heart…a yearning for a deeper connection - regardless of the relationship’s nature between us friends. And just like in the song, which I’ve mentioned above this text, I’m asking myself: “How can you miss someone, you’ve never met?”

Fortunately, I’m able to reach out to my friend in these occasions. I don’t have to weep over my fan fictions or my art collection…no, I can just grab my phone and annoy the fuck out of my beloved confidant. And I think, this is beautiful! 🥹

For this heartwarming piece of art, I’ve commissioned my friend @alinearthp once again. I asked her to draw Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules as young adults…going out to grab some butter beer in “The Three Broomsticks”. Whenever my longing for Severus becomes too strong, I’m trying to imagine him doing something casual like that with me…and now I’m doing the same with my long-distance-friend. For this reason, I’d like to dedicate this loving post to him. @preciousthelmadonna, you’re in my heart and in my thoughts every single day, since I got to meet you on tumblr. Despite those 6095 kilometres, which separate us from each other, it seems as if you’re right beside me, whenever we’re talking about everything and nothing at once. I’m beyond grateful for our connection, my love. Thank you for being you.

Oh, and @alinearthp, you made me smile with this cute drawing of Sevy and Jules! Thank you for your understanding of my ideas and for each of your lovely and kind messages! Feel hugged, my dear!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

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poison-damage · 2 months

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POISON DAMAGE - A POKEMON OC STORY [CH.1]

[Prologue]

TWs for the chapter: kidnapping, child endangerment

art credit: @eirian

A fateful meeting of outcasts.

It was Priscilla’s 7th birthday today.

She walked through the forest, her boots covered in mud as she dragged a long stick behind her, drawing a small path as she wandered. Birthdays were never something monumental to her–even at the young age of seven, she never saw the big deal. Most likely because they never really had money to celebrate, nor did she have friends to celebrate with.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw a caterpie on its back, struggling to get back on its belly. Priscilla walked over to a bush with some nice large leaves, plucked one, and came back to the squirming pokemon. She gently flipped him back over before offering the leaf to the bug type pokemon, squatting next to him.

“Yer probably hungry, aren’t cha? Who knows how long ya’ve been on your back…eat up lil’ guy.” She said softly, but her face remained stoic. The caterpie wiggled excitedly before beginning to munch on the leaf, and Priscilla stood back up. “Try to be more careful, lil guy. I won’t always be around to help ya.”

She dusted off the shorts to her overalls, looking around at the trees. “Did ya make someone mad at ya? Maybe that’s why you were on yer back…” she mused, rubbing her chin in thought.

She then heard some rustling in a bush nearby, and Priscilla looked to it curiously. She tilted her head as she approached it carefully, peeking behind it and blinking a bit. Her expression lit up as she laid eyes on a larger-than-normal female nidoran, growling lowly at her. Living on a nidoran farm, Priscilla saw a lot of different kinds of nidoran and their evolutions, but she can’t remember ever seeing one this large! Priscilla didn’t make any sudden movements, though, especially when she noticed the injuries on the pokemon.

“Yer hurt pretty bad. Did a human do this to ya?” she said, her expression turning into a sympathetic frown. The nidoran bared its teeth more, growling louder. Priscilla took a small step back, holding her hands up. “I’ll get ya some help. Don’t move, okay?” though it was safe to assume in that state, the nidoran couldn’t get very far anyways.

Before she left, though, she set up a quick little nest inside a tree trunk and laid some berries in the nest. “You can rest ‘ere if ya want. No one will bother ya. I’ll be back.” Priscilla then ran back out of the forest to grab what she could to help out the injured pokemon.

—

She came out about an hour later, after telling her parents she’d be out late helping out a pokemon. She came holding a first aid kit and a couple potions along with a lamp(it had gotten dark), looking around for the nidoran. What she found, though, was the pokemon fast asleep in the tree trunk. Priscilla put down the first aid kit and potions, which while she tried to do so quietly, still made the nidoran stir. Priscilla offered a little smile, sitting on the other side of the tree trunk.

She looked up at the sky–there were always so many stars. She loved to look at them. “Ya know, humans have hurt me too,” she said softly, bringing her knees to her chest. “They can be really mean. They say ‘n do hurtful things…but I promise ya I’m not like that.”

She sat there in silence, starting to get a bit sleepy staring at the sky for so long. She eventually drifted off, now laying on her side as she continued her slumber. She was woken from a dreamless sleep, though, when she felt a soft body against hers.

It was the middle of the night as she opened her eyes, looking now at the nidoran who had curled up against her. She smiled sleepily, before she fell back asleep with the smile still on her face. It was nice to have a friend.

—

When they both had woken up, Priscilla had tended to the nidoran’s wounds, and the pokemon seemed very grateful as it nuzzled her leg. She giggled a bit, patting the pokemon’s head gently.

“I live on a farm that has a buncha nidoran, ya know. I think ya might like it.” The nidoran chirped in response. Priscilla sighed, looking troubled. “Hopefully Ma ‘n Pa aren’t too worried ‘bout me…I guess this aint the first time I’ve fallen asleep in the forest, though.” She grabbed her stick she had left behind, pointing it in front of her with a determined expression.

“Yer name shall be Princess, ‘n one day, when you turn into a big nidoqueen, ya will earn the name Queen!” Priscilla proclaimed loudly, to no one but Princess. Princess chirped happily in agreement, and aggressively nuzzled Priscilla while thumping her leg happily.

They walked out of the forest, Priscilla dragging the stick behind her as she went.

—

Priscilla got an earful from her parents for staying out all night, but that went in one ear and out the other. It would definitely happen again in the future. Priscilla wasn’t even sure why it was such a big deal–yeah it was her birthday, but she didn’t have friends to celebrate it nor could her parents afford any sort of celebration anyways. The ideal way for her to celebrate was to have fun in the forest and make a new friend.

Priscilla’s parents definitely had ogled over Princess, though–they did run a nidoran farm, after all. But Princess was not as excited to meet them as they were to meet her. She seemed to somewhat tolerate them, though, after observing that they were alright with Priscilla.

The duo now found themselves back in the forest, Priscilla seated on a stump and Princess chasing after some poor bug pokemon as if she wanted to play. Priscilla was drawing circles in the dirt with her stick, sighing a bit.

The nidoran looked curiously at her, nudging her hand a bit to get her attention. Priscilla snapped out of her gloomy daze, petting Princess before smushing the nidoran’s cheeks a bit with a smile.

“I don’ mean to be so down….” Priscilla said, her voice a little sad. “But I gotta go back to school tomorraw…’s just not fair. All my classmates are bullies. Wish I could just hang out with you instead.” Priscilla kicked the dirt a bit. Then her face lit up, an idea clearly striking her. She looked excitedly at Princess, now smiling.

“I know what we can do! We can skip school t’gether. Maybe we can run away ‘n live here instead.” Priscilla looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’d miss Ma and Pa...but we can always go visit ‘em! I’m sure when we visit it’ll be special, like when Mamaw comes and visits…” she sighed contently, and Princess just rested her head in Priscilla’s lap. She pet the large nidoran, scritching underneath her chin.

“Yeah. I think that’s a real good plan. We can live off th’ land! I’m real good at looking for berries.” Priscilla stood up, patting her face as if to pump herself up. Princess looked up at her curiously before chirping happily. Priscilla pointed her stick in front of her at nothing in particular, huffing up her chest. “Let’s go home ‘n pack all ‘a our stuff, okay?”

—

It was late when Priscilla had packed up a bag with some snacks, a blanket, and other various trinkets. She took her notepad and pen, scribbling a note on the paper:

“Deer Ma and Pa,

Gonna live in tha forust. I wil still viset.

Lov,

Priscilla”

When she had decided that would do the job, she quietly put the paper on the kitchen counter, looking around to make sure her parents weren’t awake. She then went over to Princess who was asleep on the couch and nudged her.

“‘S time ta go, Princess. Our new life is going ta be so much fun!” she said excitedly, but in a hushed tone.

Princess yawned a little, shaking off the sleepiness before hopping off the couch and following Priscilla outside, and into the forest.

—

Priscilla had made a nest of leaves and grass, laying her blanket on it, before making a smaller nest for Princess next. The sun was starting to rise, but Priscilla was exhausted from being up most of last night setting up her new ‘home’. She yawned big, laying down in the pile she made for herself and pulling her blanket over her. Princess made herself comfortable in her own nest, closing her eyes.

“We worked real hard t’night, I think we deserve a lil’ nap, don’t ya think?” Priscilla said with a big yawn, and Princess made a tired little noise before adjusting a bit in her spot. Priscilla couldn’t help but notice her pile of leaves and grass weren’t as comfortable as a bed…no matter, though. She’d get used to it. It wasn’t that bad.

Nonetheless, she found herself tossing and turning, before finally falling into a deep slumber. Yeah. She could get used to this.

The duo weren’t asleep for very long, though, when they were woken up abruptly by Priscilla getting caught in a net. Her eyes shot open as she struggled to move. A large man stood in front of her, an umbreon standing next to him. Princess was also caught in a net, and was being loaded onto a truck, and Priscilla started to panic. This wasn’t supposed to be happening! Her and Princess were going to have a nice life together in the forest!

“H-hey, let her go!! Ya dumb crap head!!” Priscilla screamed at him, struggling in the net, which caused the man to scowl and kick her in the gut. Priscilla felt sharp pain at that, and her vision went black as the man picked her up as well and threw her in the truck along with Princess.

“Stupid fucking brat,” he grumbled, turning on the car.

Princess chirped worriedly at Priscilla who had passed out, and she remained unresponsive as the man drove off with the both of them. Princess began to chew through the net, though it was taking her a while–she was frantic to get them both out of this situation, though.

Right when she had chewed a big enough hole to escape, they arrived at their destination. Princess didn’t have enough time to chew through Priscilla’s net, before the man noticed that the nidoran had broken free from the trap. His umbreon growled lowly at Princess, and she growled equally back, standing in front of Priscilla as if to protect her.

“Umbreon, use bite, and don’t hold back,” the man huffed, and the umbreon obeyed, digging it’s fangs into Princess’s neck, and she yelped in pain. The man then made his way towards the duo, frowning deeply.

“You’ve been a pain in my ass. No longer. And your little brat trainer? She’s seen too much to keep her alive. It’s over. Umbreon, dark pulse.”

The umbreon shot a dark ray from the ring on its forehead, causing Princess to stumble and wince, but she managed to get back on her feet before there was a fierce glint in her eyes. She started to glow, growing larger as she was shrouded in light. When the light faded, she emerged from it a large nidorina, now looking even more enraged than before.

She let out a loud growl before the ground started to rumble and break. She was using earthquake, and the man and the umbreon fell down to the ground and fear filled the man’s eyes.

“I knew you were trouble,” he growled, but then a rock raised up and hit the back of his head, knocking him unconscious. The umbreon quickly fled the scene, and Princess went over to where Priscilla was and chewed through the rest of the net.

Priscilla finally opened her eyes, but there was a strong pain in her gut and she had trouble moving. Her eyes finally focused, looking up at Princess and slowly registering what was before her. Her eyes widened and she smiled big, sitting up quickly before wincing in pain and laying back down.

“Princess, you evolved! That’s…ow ow ow…that’s so wonderful!” she said, not able to contain her excitement which just made the pain flare up more. But she didn’t care. “Thank ya fer savin’ me…” she said softly, smiling a bit sadly.

Princess nuzzled her face, causing Priscilla to laugh and then groan in pain again. “Owww…What do we do now?” she said, her smiling growing into a frown. “Hol’ on. Maybe you can fetch Ma and Pa for me…otherwise I dunno if I can move, ya see…” Princess nodded in understanding, and ran off to go find Priscilla’s parents.

Priscilla closed her eyes, trying not to move too much since any movement just caused her anguish in the moment. Her eyes watered a little bit, and she couldn’t help but sniffle, reaching up slowly to wipe her eyes. She just hoped the man wouldn’t wake up anytime soon…Priscilla glanced over at his body, her eyes growing wide as she realized his body was still, no sign of breathing apparent. Oh, no. Would she and Princess go to jail?

After some time had passed, Priscilla’s parents came running after Princess, tears in their eyes as well as they were thanking Arceus that she was alive and with them. Her father picked her up gently, and she began to cry again, gripping his shirt and sobbing into it.

Princess looked worryingly up at Priscilla, but followed the three of them back to the farm.

So, it turns out, they did not end up living the rest of their life in the forest.

#pokemon oc #pkmn oc #fanfiction

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naughtyneganjdm · 9 months

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Naughty or Nice - Chapter 8

Summary: Negan finally opens up to Beau about his relationship with Y/N, but something happens that draws a negative reaction from Beau towards his father.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Beau, Erin, Maggie, Glenn, Hershel, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/133049320

Warnings: Swearing, angst, etc.

Notes: I thought I would get this done before Christmas, but life got in the way. I will try to finish it as soon as possible, but hopefully you still enjoy the story. Thanks for reading it.

“Hey dad, do you know where Y/N is?” Beau made it up the stairs to the attic hearing two voices and he stopped when he saw that Y/N and Negan were sitting on Negan’s bed together cuddled up. Negan’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders with his chin resting over her head. When Negan saw that it was Beau, he pulled his glasses that he was wearing from his face and gave him a smile. Stepping into the room, Beau cleared his throat and headed over to one of the chairs to sit down. Negan was in a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top with his hair messy and Y/N was in her relaxed clothes too. “What are you two doing?”

“Finishing something for work,” Negan pointed toward the laptop, motioning Beau to come over by them. “We’re trying to pick the color for something. And we’re stuck between two. We can’t choose. What do you think kiddo?”

“Okay?” Beau’s eyebrow arched when Negan put his glasses back over his face to stare out at the screen. Sitting in beside them, Beau looked between the two before pointing at the one that he liked. “I like the colors in that one better. It brings out what you want the focus to be.”

“Told you,” Negan’s eyebrows bounced up, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. A moment later she smacked at the center of his chest and a deep rumble of laughter fell from his throat. “What? I know my shit. That’s all I’m saying. And so does he. He’s been giving me his opinion his whole life. He knows what to look for.”

“Thank you, Beau,” Y/N gave him a big smile before doing something on the laptop. Negan gave his attention back to his son while he stroked his fingers over the back of Y/N’s neck.

“Maggie and Glenn are helping Hershel with the animals today. We had to finish this for work and then afterwards we are doing the sugar cookies,” Negan informed his son who seemed surprised that Y/N and him were so comfortable with one another. “After breakfast of course. Where is your sister?”

“She’s still sleeping,” Beau explained with a shake of his head knowing that he shouldn’t be questioning things right now. Especially since both Y/N and Negan looked happy after everything that happened last night which was surprising in itself.

“Did you need something kiddo?” Y/N wondered, looking to Beau after she closed the laptop up and got comfortable again beside Negan. “Why were you looking for me?”

“Well, I was worried about you. We didn’t talk after I went to bed,” Beau declared with a frown, turning toward her on the bed.

“I’m okay,” she whispered with a weak smile and Negan pressed a kiss over her temple.

“Really?” Beau inquired, leaning forward on the bed trying to read her expression.

“I will be,” she held her hand out to Beau and he accepted it, giving it a tight squeeze. “Your dad told me what you said yesterday when I ran off. I’m sorry you had to do that Beau. I really should have stayed quiet in public. I overreacted.”

“No. No you didn’t,” Beau assured her with a frown, hating to hear that from her. “I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don’t care if they hate me now or look down on me for feeling the way I do. I don’t want acceptance from people like that. I want acceptance from people like you. People who understand. People who see beyond the cover.”

“We need to talk,” Negan cleared his throat, unhooking his arm from Y/N’s shoulder. Getting up from the bed, Negan made sure that the door was closed before heading back to the bed to sit on it with both Beau and Y/N. “Do you promise to keep a secret?”

“Dad?” Beau frowned, his eyes gazing over his father with amusement. “What do you think?”

“I just…I think the two of us need to talk to you,” Negan suggested with a long sigh, getting comfortable between Y/N and Beau. “I think you know that the two of us are…”

“Intimate?” Beau finished for his father with a shrug of his shoulders, his head shaking like he didn’t give a shit. Negan nodded his head and Beau chuckled. “Yeah, no shit dad.”

“And you’re okay with it?” Y/N spoke up, getting Beau’s hazel eyes to break from his father to stare out at her. “I know you like Maggie.”

“I do like Maggie. I love Maggie in some…sense,” Beau commented on how he felt about his father’s girlfriend. “But that spark I talked about? I see it between the two of you. It’s the way you two look at one another. I never saw it between Maggie and dad. I don’t see it with you and Glenn either. I want my dad to find happiness. I want my dad to have what he had when he was with my mom. I see it when he’s with you.”

“We’re waiting until the day after Christmas to tell everyone,” Negan informed his son, his eyebrows furrowing and his expression becoming serious. “Don’t let your sister know because we know that Erin is…”

“A big mouth?” Beau interrupted his father once more causing Negan to laugh and nod his head. “Why wait until then? I understand you two really like each other, but why I don’t understand is why hide it? If you feel the way you do, then just be you.”

“Because what we are doing is wrong,” Y/N claimed, her head tipping from side to side. “I love your dad, but we both are dating someone. We’re cheating. And I’m going to be honest with you Beau, that’s not really a good thing to do when you are in a serious relationship with someone. I should have broken up with Glenn and the same with Maggie with your dad.”

“Yes, I understand that, but hiding it makes things worse, doesn’t it?” Beau looked between them noticing that Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat. “How long have the two of you been together?”

“A few days?” Negan was honest hearing Beau laugh and Negan shrugged.

“Christmas party?” Beau wondered drawing Y/N’s color to drain from her face. When she looked to Negan contemplating how he knew, Negan simply threw his hand up.

“I told you he was perceptive as shit,” Negan reminded her, leaning back against the wall that the bed was pressed up against. “You can’t hide anything from him.”

“You were happy. I told you something good had to have happened at work,” Beau recalled what he had said to his father that night. “I’m a teenager. I’m not stupid. And you two don’t do a very good job at hiding it. You’re going to get caught.”

“Valid,” Negan huffed, his head dropping back hearing his son let out a long exhale. “So you do or do not approve?”

“Of your relationship? Of course I approve,” Beau threw his hands up in the air, his hazel eyes frustrated when he stood up from the bed. Placing his hands on his hips, he stood before the two of them and his dimples sank in. “It’s the lying that I don’t approve of. Why not just break things off with Maggie and Glenn before coming here?”

“Because I wanted you to have a good Christmas,” Negan answered his son, stammering through his words. “We’ve all been so sad over the last two years, I thought maybe with Maggie’s family…I don’t know.”

“Your happiness is worth more to me than having a good Christmas,” Beau reasoned with his father, his face twisting with confusion. It made Negan’s eyes fill with love and adoration for his son.

“I love you,” Negan spoke up, a long sigh escaping his throat. “Sometimes you feel more like my father, than my son, but I fucking love you.”

“He reminds me so much of you,” Y/N noted from where she was seated beside Negan.

“He’s so much more mature than I am,” Negan tipped his head to the side to give her his attention while Beau stood before them, his eyebrows arching up. “He’s got a lot of his mom in him too. Even the way he’s standing right now is just like her.”

“I’m right here you know,” Beau huffed, his young features scrunching up and Negan laughed at the way he was talking. “Just tell these people to fuck off. Say, I don’t give a shit what you think and let’s grab Erin. Get the hell out of here. You will be a whole lot happier with us than you will be surrounded by these people.”

“I said the same thing last night,” Negan informed his son, giving his attention to Y/N while they both looked her over. Gazing between the both of them had her laughing because it looked like a mirrored image just with an older Negan and a younger one. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing at the thing. I’m laughing at how much the two of you look alike. Same expression, same everything,” she explained, waving her finger between the both of them. Beau looked at Negan and huffed, trying to change his positioning. “I made a promise to you Beau,” she stated and Beau immediately shook his head. “I know it sounds stupid, but we had an agreement. I want to finish the list we came up with. And even though my father is awful, I want to try to reconcile with the rest of my family. I still love them.”

“You should have led with that,” Beau frowned lowering down onto the edge of the bed, slouching forward. “I don’t think you and Maggie are going to be okay after this Y/N. I don’t want you to get your hopes up with things, but with things being the way they are between you and dad, I think you need to prepare yourself.”

“I assumed that,” she agreed with Beau, hating that it was a strong possibility for that. “The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but it happened before I even knew that Maggie was dating your father. I knew he had a girlfriend, but…”

“How the fuck did that happen?” Beau blurted out looking to Negan who made a very dramatic response after the question. “That’s like impossible to do.”

“You’re fucking telling me kiddo,” Negan snorted, his head shaking in amusement. “I just about shit my pants when I saw her with Maggie when we got here.”

“Everything make sense now,” Beau thought back on his father’s response to seeing Y/N arriving at the farm. There was silence between all of them, with Beau’s features deep in thought before he finally spoke up again. “If you two are trying to hide this whole thing until the day after Christmas, here are a few tips. I just came up here and you didn’t know it was me. You were cuddling and looked like a married couple.”

“Touché,” Negan agreed with his son, adjusting his glasses over his face while he cuddled in closer to Y/N who rolled her eyes since Negan was doing the opposite of what Beau just told him to do. “What?”

“You have to stop with all the touching. I knew immediately,” Beau educated them on what they could do to help themselves stay hidden. “I’m obviously okay with this, I just want to avoid drama until the day we leave.”

“His permission is a big thing you know. He never approved of Maggie,” Negan piped in his hand hooking with Y/N’s while he got more comfortable on the bed with her. “And he really liked you before he knew that we were a thing. So this is good. This is really good.”

“So how serious is this?” Beau looked to Y/N drawing her to become nervous now that his son was questioning her. “Is this I’m going to only date you a few months serious or is this I want to marry you serious.”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with her serious,” Negan answered instead and it made Beau laugh. He nodded and held his hand out toward Y/N. “What?”

“I understand. I just wanted to ask her. As your son, I’d like to hear a few things from her point of view,” Beau stated with a tiny laugh and it made Y/N smile at his reaction to it. “I can see that you are drunk on love or whatever people your age would say.”

“I haven’t felt like this before Beau,” she spoke up, getting Beau’s attention returned to her. Even that comment had Negan glancing over at her. “I love your dad. It’s wrong to love him considering the situations, but I’ve never felt for anyone like I feel for him. I want to be with him every second of every day. I was fine and then the night of the Christmas party it was like I got shot with twenty-seven arrows from cupid.”

“Twenty-seven?” Negan repeated the number, his smile expanding out over his handsome features. His nose wrinkled, a laugh falling from his throat when his eyes fell to her lips. “That’s highly specific.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” she pushed into his chest hearing his laughter surround her, but she loved it.

“This is what I mean with the spark,” Beau breathed out, pushing his hands into his pockets letting out a long sigh. “So you love my dad?”

“I do,” she answered feeling Negan cuddling his head in against her shoulder while they stared out at Beau. “Very much. With all my heart.”

“And you would be accepting of both Erin and me?” Beau confirmed with her watching her expression soften and she immediately nodded. “Because we love him very much and as much as you want to be around him, we want that too.”

“Of course Beau. You’re part of him. And you both are so sweet,” she thought back to the night before when they both crawled up onto the bench with her. “You and your sister showed me so much love yesterday and I don’t even know if I deserved it to be honest with you. I wouldn’t want to replace your mother. Ever. Because no one would ever do that for you. And I would never want to take your dad away from you. Part of what I love so much about your dad is how much he loves you.”

Beau’s eyes narrowed and he sucked at his bottom lip before giving a nod, “she passed.”

“Good to know,” Negan let out a hearty laugh at Beau’s response, reaching out to grab a hold of his son to pull him down into his arms. Tickling at his sides had Beau laughing and trying to wiggle out of his embrace. “You’re awesome. You know that?”

“Yeah, I know,” Beau managed to turn to face his father. Leaning in to hug Negan, Beau squeezed his arms around his father and sighed. “I just want you happy dad. I want us all happy again.”

Hearing the sound of movement downstairs, Negan brushed his fingers through Beau’s hair and pressed a kiss against the side of his son’s face, “It sounds like they are back in the house. We should get to making those cookies. They won’t make themselves.”

“Hey Y/N?” Beau called out when she went to get up and he stopped her before she could. Sliding across the bed, he wrapped an arm around her to give her a hug. “I think you’d make a good addition to our family.”

“I could only be so lucky,” she pat at the center of Beau’s back, seeing the awe in Negan’s eyes when he saw the two of them together. “I guess I should go make my presence known. Not that anyone wants it.”

“Hey!” Beau spoke up once more after she headed for the stairs. “Do you think they would mind if I searched some of the boxes up here for something later?”

“I don’t care what they mind or don’t mind, so have at it kiddo,” Y/N pointed toward the storage that was in the room they had Negan in. “I doubt they even know what they have up here anyways,” she looked over at the stuff they had packed away. “Let me know if you find anything cool.”

“Hey,” Negan stood up from the bed, stumbling over his feet to stop her. Grabbing a hold of her hand, he pulled her back to him and swept his fingers in over the side of her face. Drawing her to him, he brushed his lips over hers in a faint kiss.

Placing her hand in over Negan’s chest to put a distance between them made Negan huff. Glancing over at Beau, she shook her head and sighed, “Not in front of your son.”

“You’re just kissing. I’m thirteen. I’ll survive,” Beau noted lowering his head and waving his hand about in the air trying to give them their space for the small amount of time they had to kiss. With an arrogant bob of his head, Negan curled his arm around Y/N’s waist to pull her in closer to him. Gasping out, she placed her hand in over the center of his chest while his fingers stroked at her jawline. Stealing another kiss from her lips, Negan felt happy knowing that he could show affection to Y/N around one of the most important people in his life. “I hear footsteps. Might not want to make a whole event of it.”

“I’ll see you in a few,” Y/N pulled away with a laugh, the warmth of her breath lingering over his lips when she started to move down the stairs. Watching her, Negan hated that he had to continue to keep this secret.

Once she was gone, Negan reached for the bag that he had brought with them and set it on the bed to look for something, “You handled all of that really well.”

“I’ve had to deal with you being with Maggie for a while, so yeah…” Beau pulled his legs up to his chest when he sat on his father’s bed with his back pressed against the wall. “Plus, I like her. A lot. She’s mom material. Maggie never was.”

“Let’s try not to scare her away,” Negan teased with a wrinkle of his nose, leaving his bag on the bed when he went to grab something else.

“Like I could scare her away from you,” Beau snickered, going to move forward don the bed, but he kicked Negan’s bag onto the floor. Scrambling to pick it up, Beau reached for it and saw that there was a black box on the floor before him. “Dad?”

“Yeah?” Negan’s eyebrows bounced up, his head turning to see what had caused Beau to sound like he did. Stepping forward, Negan reached out for the box to see that Beau opened it up. Inside was the ring that Negan had originally bought for Maggie making Beau scoff.

“Is this for Y/N?” Beau wondered, his hazel eyes lifting from the engagement ring that was inside. Resting his hands on his hips, Negan huffed and let out a long exhale. “Dad?”

“No. That’s not for Y/N. If I get Y/N a ring I’ll have to get another one,” Negan answered his son with a shake of his head, sucking at his bottom lip. Frustration filled Beau’s face when he realized who the ring was meant for and he slammed the box shut. “That was just a ring I picked because I thought it was pretty. Well, I thought a girl would think it was pretty. But I had no emotional connection to it. I think if I get a ring for Y/N, it’s going to need to be one that hits me. You know?”

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but why the hell did you have an engagement ring for Maggie?” Beau lowered his hand down at his side holding the engagement ring tightly in his hands. “You never loved Maggie. Why did you buy her a ring? And even more, why did you bring it on the trip?”

“Beau,” Negan held his hands up in the air in a defensive position noticing that his once happy son was irritated and angry with what he had found. “I bought the ring weeks ago. Long before I ever felt what I did for Y/N. Maggie kept asking me about marriage all the time and I don’t know…”

“Why would you buy someone a ring if you didn’t love them?” Beau demanded an answer from his father hearing Negan’s breathing getting louder. Negan opened his mouth to say something, his hand raising up when Beau shook his head. “Were you planning on asking Maggie to marry you here? Was that the original plan?”

“I don’t know what the original plan was,” Negan confessed, placing his hand over his chest, the lines in his forehead growing. Trying to explain himself to his son, Negan cleared his throat and shrugged his shoulders. “Maggie kept asking me about marriage. All the time. I don’t know Beau. I wasn’t exactly thinking to be honest with you. Before Maggie I was so lonely. And then Maggie was just there all the time and I just thought…if I didn’t want to lose her…”

“That’s ridiculous,” Beau snapped at his father, tossing the box at him when Negan scrambled to catch it. Pacing in his father’s room, Beau pushed back his hair shakily trying to gather his thoughts. “You never even asked me if I would be okay with that. You knew that Erin and I hated her.”

“I was lonely Beau. You know what being lonely feels like,” Negan reminded his son, the vein at the side of his neck bulging while he tried to appeal to his son to get him to calm down. “I wasn’t even sure if I was going to ask Maggie to marry me in the first place. I don’t know what I thought by bringing it here.”

“You wanted us to have a good Christmas. Well, I guarantee if you hadn’t found Y/N and you did ask Maggie to marry you here, it would have been fucking miserable for Erin and me,” Beau explained to his father, noticing the corner of Negan’s jawline flexing. “I love Maggie as a friend, but dad, we told you over and over again how we felt. How could you have even considered doing that? We all know you don’t have with Maggie what you do with Y/N.”

“Beau, I didn’t think before Y/N I would ever feel that way again,” Negan pled with his son, his face scrunching up and his eyebrows furrowing. “I just know that it felt nice having someone there and Maggie was getting antsy. If she didn’t get what she wanted, she was going to move on and I didn’t…I didn’t want to be alone again. I was comfortable with Maggie. I never thought I’d fall in love with someone again like I did your mom.”

“You have no idea how angry I am about this,” Beau pointed to the ring that Negan was holding in his hand, his eyebrows furrowed and his body completely tense. “If I didn’t know what I know about Y/N, I would absolutely erupt on you right now.”

“You’re kinda chewing me out right now kiddo and I’m not even going to give this to Maggie,” Negan stated waving the ring about in the air and shaking his head. “This ring is going back once we get back to New York City. And I’m getting Y/N another ring. One that hits me the moment that I see it. One that fits for her.”

“You should have asked me,” Beau maintained knowing that the situation at hand should have made him less angry, but he wasn’t. “You didn’t ask me if I was okay with Maggie originally. She just showed up and we had to deal with it. What you did with Y/N? What just happened right here. That’s the first right thing you’ve done since mom died.”

“Why are you so upset if you know I’m not going to ask her Beau?” Negan hushed his son when Beau’s voice started to raise. “You know how I feel about Y/N. You see it yourself. The spark is there with us. When it never was with Maggie.”

“Because I can’t believe you considered that in the first place dad!” Beau’s raspy voice hitched drawing Beau to roll his eyes and turn away from Negan. “We never connected with Maggie. And she wasn’t like Y/N, she wanted you all to herself and she would do anything to get it.”

“I thought you liked Maggie,” Negan pointed out seeing Beau glance back over his shoulder at him with an angered expression. “Kinda.”

“Dad, it took Maggie five months to grow the fuck up,” there was venom in Beau’s voice, his frustration just letting loose at this point. Hearing the way that Beau was speaking made Negan lower down on the bed, surprised to hear his son letting loose like this. “This last month, I think she realized that we weren’t going anywhere. That in order to be with you, she had to be with us. And I give her credit for trying this last month. I do. But she never, ever saw me. Not the way that Y/N did. I’ve bonded with Y/N more in the time being here than I ever did with Maggie.”

“Me too,” Negan whispered, reaching up with his free hand to drag it down over the side of his own face. Groaning out, Negan’s jawline flexed and he shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me that you hated Maggie so much?”

“I did. In so many fucking ways,” Beau stressed to his father and with all the times that Beau was swearing, Negan knew his son meant business because Beau tried to always keep things to a minimum with the swearing for Erin. “Even just now. Y/N felt uncomfortable kissing you in front of us. Some of the things I saw Maggie try to attempt to do to you while I was still in the room…”

“I would never do anything in front of you kids,” Negan defended himself, holding his hand up in the air to put that out there. “You know that.”

“I do! But there was that time where we were all watching movies together. You two were at one end of the sectional couch. Erin and I were at the other and I saw her constantly trying to grab your…” Beau felt weird talking about it, throwing his hands up in the air before pointing his hands down at the ground. “It was like she was always trying to persuade you with certain acts to get you to stop spending time with us.”

“One, I apologize because I never fucking knew you saw that, but on that day, I kept taking her hand and placing it elsewhere. I don’t do that kind of stuff around or near my kids,” Negan stood by how he felt about things knowing exactly the situation that Beau was talking about. “I remember erupting on her that night because of that. I’m not that person.”

“I know that,” Beau agreed with his dad, shrugging his shoulders when he thought about everything. “I’m not an idiot. I know you and mom could barely keep your hands off each other. Love is like that. And I can see that with Y/N, but at least she respects us not to expose us to that kind of shit dad.”

“I agree with you bud. This isn’t a discussion of I want to be with Y/N or Maggie,” Negan half laughed, pushing the box for the engagement ring back into his bag. “We know who I want to be with. So this ring? It’s meaningless.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you now,” Beau frowned, pushing his hands into his pockets knowing that it was probably stupid for him to be doing. “I think I’ve just been mad at you so long for Maggie that I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I understand that you are lonely dad but knowing that you were even considering marrying her in the first place upsets me. And it just brings back old feelings of things.”

“I understand,” Negan stepped before his son reaching out to place his hands in over Beau’s shoulders to give them a firm squeeze. “I was blinded by the way I felt after we lost your mom. I just got sad and I wasn’t thinking Beau. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. You’re right. It was a decision that I should have included you and your sister in. That’s why things feel right with Y/N. You liked her before you even knew. The two of you just click. And I think we’re doing things right this time.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Beau exhaled loudly, lifting his hands to place them over his dad’s arms. It wasn’t often that he yelled at his father, so he was upset that he did in general. “You just have to understand, I get Maggie is pretty but other than that, the two of you just didn’t click. And we didn’t click with her either.”

“I just thought Maggie was the best thing I could get,” Negan tried to justify his actions, but by the expression over Beau’s features he knew that Beau wasn’t buying that.

“Come on dad. I know you’re a conventionally good-looking guy with a great job,” Beau waved his hand about in the air being very dramatic in his approach. “There is no way that you couldn’t find someone beautiful, nice and that you could get along with. Maggie was just…the beautiful. I think you were thinking stupid with that one.”

A hesitant laugh fell from Negan’s throat and Beau threw his hands up in the air, “I’m not saying Maggie isn’t perfect. She’s just not perfect for you.”

“Nice save buddy,” Negan pat his son on the shoulder hearing the sound of the door opening. Looking beyond Beau, Negan could see that Erin was making it up the stairs with her new polar bear stuffed animal in her arms. “There is my beautiful sleepyhead.”

“Good morning daddy,” Erin got to the top step and ran to her father who eagerly picked her up in his arms. Resting her head against Negan’s shoulder had Negan wrapping his arms around her tightly. “We’re making cookies today?”

“That was the plan,” Negan replied with a long sigh, using his free hand to put the bag that the ring was in at the corner of the room.

“The real way? Not the Maggie way?” Erin pulled her head back looking up at her father with an uneasy expression. “Not that they didn’t taste good or anything. They just, it was really boring.”

“The real way,” Negan laughed nodding over toward the stairs. The scent of breakfast was filling the air around them and he figured they should go attempt to help. “Let’s go help downstairs and then we can get to the cookie making.”

“Great, I’m hungry,” Erin informed her father with a big yawn as he moved down the stairs.

It was an awkward breakfast. Nah. Fuck that. It was a severely awkward breakfast. Everyone was silent. They all sat at the table just eating. No one knew what to say. Not after yesterday. Truthfully? It was probably a good thing. Because if Hershel would have opened his mouth about things, Negan knew that he wouldn’t have been able to keep his mouth shut. And he was fairly certain that Beau wouldn’t have been able to either.

After breakfast, Annette let them know that they would be going to the store to finish up some Christmas shopping so they would be gone for a few hours. That meant it would leave Maggie and Glenn home alone with Negan, the kids and Y/N while they were working on their sugar cookies. There was no doubt in Negan’s mind that Maggie would have rather been going with her family shopping but had agreed previously with Beau to do the cookie making.

“Okay, so I’m going to make the dough with the kids and after, all of us can work together with the frosting, sprinkles and shape cutouts,” Y/N adjusted the stepping stool that she had for Erin to use next to the counter. If avoiding was a talent, she was great at it. Y/N refused to look at Maggie & Glenn, yet she was very attentive to the children and Negan while setting things up.

“Hey, do you think we could talk?” Maggie stepped forward, caressing her hands over her lower back letting out a strained breath. “I think the two of us should really talk about things.”

“I made a promise to the kids. Anything you want to talk about after, I’m open to,” Y/N responded to her sister knowing that she wasn’t trying to be purposely cold to the people in her family, she just had a goal and she wanted to accomplish it. That was her main goal with things. Maggie just nodded, unsure of what to say. “You and Glenn can wait at the table if you would like until we have everything ready.”

“Sounds good,” Glenn cleared his throat uneasily and it was visible even in his features that he didn’t know how to respond to the way that Y/N was acting toward them.

Once Y/N moved to the counter, Erin was eager to hop up on the stepping stool that Y/N had set up for her and Beau moved in beside her, “So we’re going to make the dough, roll it out, cut out the shapes and then decorate these cookies. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” Erin blurt out with Negan moving in beside his daughter to make sure that she wouldn’t fall. Eager to include the children, Y/N let both Beau and Erin do certain parts of the mixing and when it got to the harder parts of the mixing Negan helped Erin. They made enough dough for several batches before setting up a few areas for them to roll out the dough to cut out shapes. “This is fun.”

“Yeah?” Negan muttered, looking over his shoulder to see that both Maggie and Glenn were sitting at separate sides of the table. They weren’t interacting, they were just sitting there and it looked, well, boring. Turning his attention back to his children working with Y/N, Negan couldn’t help but notice the way that Y/N already interacted with his children. She had them laughing and loudly. They were happy and that was what she was out to achieve this whole time.

“We’re going to have so many cookies,” Erin took notice of all the trays that they had set out across the large kitchen.

“This is how mom used to do it,” Beau informed his sister using a cookie cutter to cut the shapes he wanted out with the dough. “We’d bake for hours and hours. All three of us. You were really little though.”

“I remember,” Erin insisted, using all the strength she had to push down with the cookie cutter she had. “I just mostly did the decorating and I’d watch you with mom.”

“You remember that?” Negan pressed a quick kiss against Erin’s cheek before helping her to put pressure on the cookie cutter.

“Just because I’m small, doesn’t mean I don’t remember things,” Erin informed her dad, tipping her head back to look up at him with her green eyes. “There are a lot of things I remember about mom. It’s hard to forget.”

“Your mother was always hard to forget,” Negan noted, seeing out of the corner of his eye that Y/N was watching the two of them together with a smirk. “We’re going to have to eat lots of cookies. That’s for sure.”

“I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that,” Y/N playfully nudged Negan with her hip, finishing up with another baking sheet before moving to the table to set a few of the sheets before Glenn and Maggie.

“We also have to save some for Santa,” Erin commented with a big smile after she finished up with the cookies that she was preparing for Y/N to set aside. “I’m sure he needs at least six because he’s, a big guy.”

“I’m not a big guy and I could eat at least six,” Negan snorted eliciting a giggle from his daughter who hopped from the stepping stool into his arms. Y/N and Beau finished up with the last remaining parts of the dough before they put the first two trays into the oven to bake them.

“Now it’s all about waiting for them to bake. Letting them cool down and then being able to decorate them,” Y/N explained, throwing her hands up in the air when she thought about things. Placing her hands over her hips, she shrugged her shoulders and cleared her throat. “If all of you want to go do something else for a while, I imagine it’s going to take some time.”

“How about we just play a game or something?” Beau suggested pointing in the direction of the front room. “I remember Annette showing me that if we were bored, we could grab one of the board games that you have. That way we are spending time together.”

“Smart idea,” Negan spoke up first and if boredom could kill, it looked like Glenn and Maggie would want to die on the spot. Setting Erin down, Negan placed his hand over her shoulder and nodded toward the front room. “Why don’t you go grab one and we will figure something out.”

“Come on,” Beau waved his sister to follow him, leaving the four adults alone in the kitchen.

“I imagine if you want to talk now, we can for a few minutes,” Y/N suggested nodding over toward the hallway. It made the color fade from Maggie’s face before she nodded and got up. Giving Negan a final glance, Y/N followed her sister out into the hallway and noticed that Maggie shifted on her feet uncomfortably. “You don’t have to play the game if you don’t want to. You can go do whatever you prefer. I know waiting is probably boring.”

“No, I should do this,” Maggie asserted, shoving her hands into her pockets while she shifted on her feet. “I was thinking about things since last night Y/N. I don’t think you realize the effect you really do have on this family.”

“I know I’m the worst thing that happened to it,” Y/N stated with a long sigh, leaning back against the wall. Negan and Glenn’s voices were somewhat heard, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying while they were in the hallway. “Dad let me know how he felt last night with everything and I listened. After this, I’ll make sure I never embarrass him again because I will never see him again.”

“That’s not what I mean Y/N,” Maggie frowned, holding her hands up in the air. “I don’t know why daddy is the way he is with you. I never understood it. More so now. But when it came to you growing up, you always inspired us to want more in our lives.”

“Come on,” Y/N laughed knowing that was the furthest from the truth.

“I went to New York because of you Y/N,” Maggie reminded her, her eyes shifting while she tried to gather her thoughts. “I know I’ve told you these stories when we were younger, but when I was little, my mother was really big on Christmas too and I was so in love with the idea of Santa. When she got sick, it was around the holidays and she always told me the stories about the real Santa that would travel down to the Macy’s in New York. I always wanted to go. Always, but daddy never took us. And my mother passed away before we ever could. I never thought about that for years. Christmas turned me off so bad because of losing my mom…”

Lowering her head, Y/N felt the lump in her throat growing hearing the emotions that were in Maggie’s tone and she knew that her sister was attempting to hold back her tears, “but I got sick of the way things were here. Beth too. Obviously, since she was the one that made sure you made it here this Christmas. She missed you. You were always so good with her, no matter how sad you were,” Maggie reminded Y/N who lifted her head to stare up at Maggie again with a sadness in her expression, “It was because of you I went out to New York to experience life. You were gone for so long and you were making things work for yourself. I would have never done that if you didn’t inspire me. I would have never seen…I would have never seen Macy’s for the first time.”

A shuddering breath fell from Maggie’s lips when she threw her hands up with a shrug. Reaching out, Y/N hooked her fingers around her sister’s fingers to show her the support she needed in that moment when the memories of Maggie’s mother returned to her. The gesture surprised Maggie, but she squeezed at Y/N’s fingers.

“God, you should have seen me when I first walked into that store this year when they started all of the Christmas stuff,” Maggie half laughed, lifting her free hand to wipe at the tears that were sliding down her face. “I’m how old? And I’m sobbing at the sight of seeing Santa there for the first time. Because it brought everything back to me. It brought my mom back to me…”

“I’m glad you had that moment,” Y/N spoke in a whisper, her head tipping to the side when Maggie tried to gain back her strength to speak.

“It kills daddy that you had such a big impact on all of us because he’s afraid that all of us are going to leave him,” Maggie declared with a shake of her head, clearing her throat. “You know he always wanted to keep us here. And then you leave and suddenly everyone wants to follow in your footsteps. You inspired a lot of us to want to experience more than just this life. Even if I do love this life Y/N.”

Nodding, Y/N didn’t know what to say because she never really thought much about herself to begin with.

“I know you hate me…” Maggie began and Y/N immediately shook her head, stopping Maggie’s statement.

“I never hated anyone Maggie,” Y/N interrupted Maggie with a frown, looking down toward their hands that were holding. “All I ever wanted was all of you to like me because I did love all of you. You’re my family. Even dad. I wanted him to love me too. I came back here thinking that maybe, I don’t know, that I could fix things with everyone, but it was never going to happen.”

“What he said last night isn’t true,” Maggie suggested, but it really didn’t stop her from hurting after Hershel said everything he did. “If anything, you were the star of the family. You were always the one that the town was talking about. People always came up to dad after you left asking about you because you brought a lot of attention to this place.”

“So did you. How many competitions did you win with the horses when we were younger?” Y/N reminded Maggie watching Maggie pull her hand back and away from Y/N. “Everyone loved you, Maggie. Everyone. So what you said last night, there was nothing for you to be jealous about.”

“Even that,” Maggie had a hard time looking at Y/N when she brought up the horse riding competitions when they were younger. “You won more than I did when we were younger. You and Dakota were the better pair, but you gave it up when I got upset with you.”

“That’s…” Y/N’s breath left her lungs when Maggie reminded her of their childhood.

“Don’t,” Maggie shook her head letting out a tense breath. “Daddy thinks you quit because you were a quitter in his eyes. I remember getting upset with you because you were younger than me and you were winning so much more than I was. I ripped into you one day because I was jealous and you gave it up that week. You don’t think I realized that? I was the older sister, I should have been the one lifting you up, but instead I just allowed you to quit. And when daddy got so upset with you, I said nothing. I should have been telling you that you didn’t need to quit to pick me up.”

“I liked art better anyways,” Y/N tried to make light of the situation they were talking about. “I did a lot of things for this family that no one knows about, but there is no reason to talk about them because then what is the point? I didn’t do them to brag. I didn’t do them to put the attention on me. I did it because…”

“You were always putting everyone else’s happiness over your own,” Maggie finished for her and Y/N sucked down at her bottom lip. “You’re a good person Y/N. You were always a good person.”

“Maggie,” guilt ate away at Y/N hearing that, especially since she knew what she was doing with Negan behind Maggie’s back. “I’m really not a good person. I uh…I have something to tell you. And it’s kind of big. Something that might…”

“The first round is done,” Glenn’s voice interrupted the two of them, drawing Y/N to tense up when her fiancé entered the hallway. “Negan put in the next batch and Beau set up the game for all of us to play. He had to run upstairs to go do something, but he wanted the rest of us to play.”

“Got it,” Y/N nodded, taking that as a sign from the world that now was not the time to tell Maggie about Negan. Heading back into the kitchen, she saw that Negan was at one end of the table with Erin in his lap. They were laughing and giggling about something when her and Maggie got back to the table.

It wasn’t a very exciting game they were playing, but they did it until all of the cookies were done baking and cooling. Beau was gone for most of the time, but when he finally did come back, he seemed really happy about something, but said nothing. They cleaned up the game and prepared the table to be the decorating area for all of them. There was more than enough cookies for everyone to decorate and Y/N got a huge amount of frostings and sprinkles for the kids to use.

Y/N was seated between Beau and Glenn across from Negan who was between Maggie and Erin. Everyone seemed to be having fun for the most part with random conversations being started, but Glenn was the one taking the most time with things.

“You don’t have to make things perfect, you know?” Y/N whispered to Glenn who lifted his eyes up from the candy cane shaped sugar cookie that he was decorating. “It’s about having fun. It’s going to taste the same no matter how perfect it is or not.”

“Well all of the cookies coming from you, Beau and Negan look like they came from an actual bakery,” Glenn pointed toward the cookies that were done that looked meticulous even if they were using silly colors. “I just want to put out good looking cookies.”

“I’m doing the same,” Maggie announced, lifting her cookie up to show that she was working on a snowman that she was trying to be very meticulous with. “I don’t want them to look bad.”

“Who cares if they look bad?” Erin blurt out, lifting up her Santa Claus showing that it was messy and her hands were covered in frosting, but she was having fun. “Look at my Santa…”

“Looks just like him,” Negan teased his daughter making her giggle and shake her head. “I think we should save that one for Santa because he will love it.”

“I’m covered in frosting,” Beau pointed out holding up his hands to show Glenn and Maggie. “And not all of my cookies are perfect. It’s just about having fun and being silly.”

“Come on,” Negan got up from the table and moved in behind Maggie. Grabbing a Christmas tree sugar cookie, Negan placed it in Maggie’s hand. There were tubes of icing and bowls of frosting depending on what people wanted to do. Leading her hand over toward the bowl of green icing, he felt Maggie tensing up. “Relax Maggie. Have some fun.”

“Negan,” Maggie huffed when he dipped the cookie into the bowl of frosting getting the front covered in it. “Now it looks messy.”

“Then use your fingers,” Negan motioned her to set it down on the table and when he led her fingers toward the cookie it had her groaning out. “It’s okay to get messy Maggie. Not everything in life is going to be perfectly clean.”

Reaching for a snowflake cookie, Negan handed it over to her and gave a half smile, “Now you try. You can get the base of these ready and then you can add the small details.”

“You can do it Maggie,” Beau snickered with Maggie looking at the plain sugar cookie in her hands. “Have some fun.”

“Why not?” Maggie stood up from her seat to reach across the table to dip her cookie into the bowl of white frosting. Negan, Beau and Erin all clapped for her and it drew Y/N to laugh when Maggie’s face reddened over.

“See? Not so bad,” Erin pointed toward her area that was messy. “It’s about making memories and having fun. It’s all going to taste the same.”

“She’s not wrong,” Negan snatched one of the cookies that Maggie had already done, taking a big bite of it. It made Maggie glare at him, but he laughed and shrugged his shoulders before taking another big bite to finish off the cookie. “Still tastes good.”

Beau took a cookie for himself and dipped it into the bowl of frosting like Negan had shown Maggie. Holding it up toward Glenn, Beau hoped that Glenn would take the hint that it was okay just to relax and have some fun. The sugar cookie Beau had grabbed was reindeer shaped and he had used red frosting as his base color drawing a giggle from Erin.

Following in his father’s footsteps, Beau took a big bite from his cookie and nodded, “A red reindeer tastes just as good as a brown one.”

“Point taken,” Glenn let out a long exhale and suddenly his posture got a whole lot more relaxed with things. “Thank you.”

Giving Glenn a small nudge with her elbow, Y/N was happy to finally see him let loose. For the first time in a while it made Glenn smile. It was nice to see because it seemed like the person that Glenn was had completely disappeared since they came to her family’s place. Even though she didn’t feel like she was in love with Glenn, she still knew that she cared deeply for him and he had been acting so differently lately.

Now that things were more relaxed, they were finishing up with cookies a whole lot faster and the feeling of things was so much more relaxed between all of them. Even with Maggie and Glenn.

“See, wasn’t this more fun?” Negan confirmed with Maggie and she nodded when they were finishing up with the cookies that were left. When Negan dropped his head down to finish with the cookie, Maggie reached out to dip her fingers into the remainder of one of the frostings only to drag them across the side of Negan’s face. With a confused expression, Negan pulled his head back and gave Maggie a glare. “The hell was that?”

“Well, you’re as sweet as a sugar cookie, so maybe I got confused and thought you needed some frosting,” Maggie snickered looking to her fingers that were covered in the frosting. With a nod, Negan dug his fingers into the bowl of frosting that was in front of him and swung his hand out to have a splat of frosting go across Maggie’s face. A loud gasp fell from her throat when she pushed her chair back and Negan immediately laughed. “You jerk!”

“Hey now,” Negan muttered when Maggie reached for more frosting attempting to throw it at Negan, but he slid back the chair just enough for the glob of frosting that she threw to hit Erin in the center of the face. With a loud gasp, Maggie was mortified when Erin dropped the cookie that she was working on.

“Oh honey, I am so sorry,” Maggie immediately apologized, not sure how to react to hitting Negan’s daughter with the frosting. “Why did you move Negan? I didn’t mean to do that. I swear.”

“It’s okay!” Erin giggled, throwing her hands up in the air to get Maggie to calm down. Reaching up, she wiped at the frosting over her face and took one of her fingers into her mouth. “It’s tasty! And it’s fun. So I don’t care!”

“Thatta girl,” Negan snickered, keeping Erin’s chair secure when she reached for some frosting herself. “Careful now.”

Negan assumed that Erin was going to be giving payback to Maggie, but instead she threw some of the red frosting that she had at Glenn who jolted back surprised when it splat across his face. A laugh fell from Glenn’s throat, when he dramatically shook his head, “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” Erin was amused with Glenn’s reaction to everything, her laughter showing that she found everything funny. “I just wanted to include you.”

After that everyone started throwing the remainder of the frosting around at each other leaving them in a food fight of sorts until the sound of someone clearing their throat drew them all to stop. Maggie was clinging to a bowl that she slowly lowered to the table when she saw that it was her father standing in the entrance of the kitchen giving all of them a glare.

“It’s time for us to clean this up and get ready to go to the trail that you all planned for,” Hershel pointed toward the clock that was on the wall showing that time had passed incredibly quickly. “If you want to get there before the crowd shows up, you’ll need to get this mess cleaned up.”

“Yes daddy,” Maggie was embarrassed to be covered in frosting knowing that it was something that he would not be amused with. “We’re sorry.”

A loud gasp fell from a few of them when Beau launched the remainder of the frosting that he grabbed before they were interrupted at Hershel. It was a direct hit at the center of Hershel’s face and everyone grew tense when Hershel stumbled back in shock.

“Beau!” Negan called out his son’s name watching Beau hold his finger up to motion Negan to wait. There was a sense of terror in Negan’s eyes when Beau reached for one of the last remaining plain cookies.

Walking over to Hershel, Beau held out the cookie that he grabbed and offered up a cheeky smile that much resembled his father’s, “The cookies taste great Mr. Greene. You should try them. Along with the frosting, they are even better.”

The room was silent. None of them sure how to respond when Hershel reached up to wipe the glob of frosting from his face with a booming laughter that surprised all of them. Accepting the cookie, Hershel wiped what he had of the frosting on the cookie before taking a bite.

“You’re right, the cookie is very good,” Hershel commented reaching out to squeeze over Beau’s shoulder. There was almost a sigh of relief, but also confusion at Hershel’s response to what Beau did. “Let me help you get these cookies put away while you clean up.”

Finishing up the cookie that Beau handed him, Hershel moved over toward the containers and started putting away the finished cookies that they had done. When Beau returned to the table to help clean things up, Y/N looked to Beau with big eyes.

“Holy shit,” she whispered to Beau who shrugged, his dimples prominent showing that he was proud of himself. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“He deserved it,” Beau stated under his breath, kneeling down on the floor with his dad who was wiping things up.

“You could have got us kicked out of here,” Negan reminded his son, who simply bobbed his head from side to side. Lifting his hand up, Negan knuckle bumped Beau who let out a muted laugh at the impressed expression his father gave him. “Good job. I wish I would have thought of it.”

“I know,” Beau chuckled while he helped clean things up. Once everything was mostly clean, Hershel approached the table and he was eating the last plain sugar cookie.

“I’d hate to see what your home looks like,” Hershel stated, his eyes locked on Negan who let out a hesitant laugh.

“It’s surprisingly very clean,” Maggie replied to her father who gazed over at her from where she was with Y/N at the sink. “Negan keeps things spotless in his home. Even if they do make a mess at times.”

“Color me surprised,” Hershel commented, nodding toward the hallway. “I’m going to go get cleaned up. I suggest the rest of you do the same so we can get headed out. I don’t think you want to go to the trail covered in frosting. But then again? It’s up to you.”

“He’s taking things really well,” Glenn was quiet when he approached both Y/N and Maggie. “I thought he would be furious.”

“You and me both,” Maggie agreed with Glenn, finishing up with the bowl that she was cleaning in the sink. “That was shocking.”

“Beau has a way with people I think,” Y/N claimed, gazing back at Beau with Negan and Erin. “I’m glad dad likes him because there is so much to like.”

Maybe Beau was rubbing off on Hershel because in the past she would have never seen her father reacting to that situation the way he did today. That was one positive she could think about with her father since coming here. Even if it changed nothing when it came to her relationship with Hershel, she was glad he was being good to Negan’s children.

----

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