#distance is a bitch

[mrs-snape5984]

“So come to me when I'm asleep. We'll cross the line and dance upon the street…”

“Oh, turn around and I'll be there. Oh, there's a scar through my heart but I'll bare it again…” (“Through the barricades” by Spandeau Ballet)

This beautiful gif of Severus, who’s stepping out of my dreams, was an unexpected and extremely touching gift from my friend @mmad-lover, who wanted to cheer me up in my current situation. Paula, I’m sorry for taking so much time to honour you properly, but things are getting a bit rough here and I’m struggling a lot with my ability to keep focused on writing (thank you, ME/CFS! 🙄).

Your gesture in combination with your kind and compassionate words made my heart swell with joy and gratitude, my dear. You’re a wonderful person and I’m glad, that I was allowed to meet you here. Thank you so much for everything!

Damn, I wished, it could be that easy to step into someone’s life and drown in their embrace…I could really need it right now, in order to cross 6095 kilometres of the ocean. 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[lovelybabey]

I want to hold her. I want to wrap her in my arms and kiss her face and tell her how completely and utterly in love with her I am.

[fangirlwithasweettooth]

.

[mintyspacecadet]

Silver left his side for a couple weeks and flint is trying to cope

[th-th-th-thats-all-folks]

Au where Zoro and Nami like to break up straight couples and sleep with each side; sometimes for fun, sometimes as grifts.

Enter arranged marriage Sanji and Vivi.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Vine_Boom.mp3

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[mrs-snape5984]

“Help me out of this hell! Your love lifts me up like helium. Your love lifts me up when I'm down down down…”

“When I've hit the ground, you’re all I need.” (“Helium” by Sia)

This post will be a bit more personal than usual, but I think, I need to pour my heart out over this mesmerising artwork, which my friend @madfantasy made for me. There are things happening in my life, which are frightening me, even though I’m the one, who initiated them.

I’m going through a divorce (yep…the second one. I should get bonus cards for being such an idiot even twice…). This marriage has been broken for so long and I lived in my own room for years, already. I wanted us to be friends…housemates…partners for the sake of our children. I wanted to deal with the situation as mature as possible…and failed miserably. My boundaries were ignored and violently overstepped countless times…always leaving me shattered and panting…struggling to breathe, whenever I found myself in another panic attack.

It’s enough. I can’t do this anymore. I really don’t know, how I will be able to go through the whole process of moving out in my current state of this goddamn disease…and how I could offer my kids the life, they deserve to live. I want to have them with me…and yet I’m getting threatened to lose them. My standards of moral concepts and values never matched with his…and now, he’s the one with the bigger guns (financially and considering the health situation). This is a dangerous situation for me…and I’m scared to death, even though I’m trying to find responsible solutions to make sure, that our children won’t suffer. They’re the most important part of my life…and I’m deeply ashamed of myself for being such a selfish human being, who isn’t capable of enduring this way of life with their father any longer - particularly in the context of my disability and disease.

Over the past few years, especially since I’m suffering from ME/CFS, the feeling of losing myself grew stronger with every passing day. I fell silent…the lights within myself were extinguished and I became an actress in this movie, which I called my life. I played the role of the hardworking woman, who can balance her responsibilities in every aspect of her existence with ease and grace. Family, friends, workplace, household, extra duties in school and kindergarten…everything was “perfectly” balanced on my shoulders, even though I had to deal with some severe diseases, already (and this was even before ME/CFS fucked me hard). These were my days for so many years…and at nights, I couldn’t breathe anymore. Panic attacks, insomnia and OCD had me in their strong grip…choking me whilst I was wandering through the quiet house, checking on my children. This side of myself was my best kept “dirty” secret. Failure was no option for me, so I hid behind my mask at days and suffered through the nights on my own.

Two years ago, ME/CFS put a stopper into my life. I’m not functioning anymore. I lost my value here. The hardworking, overly caring, active woman, I’ve been before, is dead. Killed by pain, overstimulation, disorientation, fatigue, darkness and solitude.

About one year ago, I decided to speak up my mind by showing my longtime love for Severus Snape online for the very first time in my life. I found tumblr and started writing about my deepest feelings, fears and my devotion to this fictional character, which lasts for 21 years, already. Out of the sudden, there were people, who listened to me. People, who talked to me as if I’m still a “normal” human being. People, who became friends with me, even though we’re living thousands of kilometres apart. People, whom I never want to miss again in my life, like my beloved @vulnus-sanare. She showed me, that I’m still alive…that I’m worthy of love. And with this realisation, I found myself again…and this woman is quite okay, despite her sufferings. Magda, my heart, I couldn’t be more grateful that you’ve chosen me to be your friend…the one, you’re sharing your last braincell with. You know, what I’m feeling for you and I can’t wait to see you in person in a few weeks. Thank you for enlightening a spark in my soul, of which I thought, it was gone forever.

Something else happened to me over the past few months. This newfound light in myself seemed to be bright enough to shine across the ocean to New Jersey. I fought hard against these feelings…throwing all my ugly sides at this person in order to scare them away. I’m not loveable and I’m not able to understand this weird concept, called romantic love…at least, that’s what I always thought of myself. In my eyes, “love” has solely been an excuse for hormonal chemistry between people in order to fulfil some kind of biological goal of humanity. For many years, people shook their heads at me for this pragmatic approach to the concept of “love”. I built a cocoon around myself, determined to keep everyone else outside. And now…well, let’s just say, that I’m not convinced by my own sober, level-headed beliefs anymore. My cocoon showed a crack. I lost my heart. Undeniably. Unconditionally.

Who knows, if this love will ever have a future. Only time will tell, but for the moment, I feel home in another person’s heart and this new experience gives me hope and strength to master the upcoming journey of my existence. I’m more than my disability…I’m more than my diseases…I’m more than the actress, I forced myself to be…I’m more than this weak and exhausted mess, I’ve become. I am worthy to be seen and loved…and I’m able to reciprocate this love without hesitation. I feel blessed. Thank you, R. 🖤

Last but not least, I want to thank Mani for this breathtaking piece of art. When I described my idea for this project to you, I was excited to see, what you would do with it. Whenever I try to express something extremely personal with the help of Severus and my OC Jules (okay, I admit, that she’s actually me 😅), I know that you’re the one, who can realise it perfectly. I’m beyond grateful for your kindness and your talent and I’m proud to be seen as your friend, my dear. Feel hugged, Mani! Fly fly! 🫂🫂

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[brainrotcharacters]

"His little pet Wolverine."

"Tell me somethin'. Are you pissy because I left, or because I'm with him now?"

[zours025]

I am not finishing this because im fucking lazy so take this now too okay!!!

Alts and the like under here + One amputee iggy stump (???) warning IDK1!!!11!

[serpentface]

Don't get too attached

[front-facing-pokemon]

[spookystarfishzombie]

Airplane x Stranger Things

[ryanthel0ser]

*looks at what's happening to Bakudeku right now*

Close enough, welcome back Naruto and Sasuske

[mochinomnoms]

On the topic of whether or not Riddle's mom loves him or not:

I think it's very possible for people, especially parents, to love in toxic and hateful ways. People severely underestimate how powerful a child's desire to be loved by their parents is so it's very silly to expect Riddle to hate his mother, or to think that Mrs. Rosehearts doesn't love her son. A lot of bad, and even abusive parenting comes out of love and it's difficult to address that in a therapy setting unless you acknowledge and address that because without it the behavior doesn't make sense.

-Yuri (who is speaking from personal experience with a great deal of sympathy for Riddle)

Same, I wrote that with some personal experiences in mind. I think that as a character, Mrs. Rosehearts is very complicated and it's very easy to villainize her and hate her, which I don't fault anyone for it's a pretty gut reaction. We probably won't get anything about the two reconciling in-game or in manga, but yeah they both desperately need therapy.

[super-oddity]

A Knight’s Tale (2001)

[sciderman]

cable & deadpool #24