#KILLIE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT HOME BY HIMSELF LADS

[elodieunderglass]

Regarding Colm's pony - every shitty parent looking to get rid of a pony I've been aware of has just sold the pony without warning the kid. If mom is financially-minded, horse body disposal costs money, and even shipping to a downmarket auction will at least pay for the petrol. HOWEVER, what I keep rotating for drama: there is a "murdered for insurance money" option, depending on the value of the pony (a little light fraud may have been involved) - this was definitely a thing around the 70s-80s in the states, but it tended to come out years later, after the statue of limitations on animal cruelty ran out and the people doing the horse wetwork came clean. In this case, maybe the vet who signed off on an accidental death for the horse insurance company admitted misgivings to one of the boys as adults, one random day they happened to see each other, but no one other than mom really knows?

(In reference to the probable fate of the childhood pony of Killie the Jockey OC and his siblings)

Oh my GOD you can’t just SAY THINGS like —

Oh that pony is DEAD-dead. Maximise the drama. Rotate that sod like a rotisserie chicken. You’re good at this.

[let-it-raines]

Betting on the Bullseye (22/30)

Summary: Emma Swan loses a drunken bet that means she has to ask her celebrity crush - if you can call him that - to be her date to her office's annual fundraising gala for Boston's Children Shelter. Killian Jones is that celebrity. She expects all kinds of humiliation and for her dignity to be completely lost all because of the ridiculousness of the situation. What she doesn't expect is for him to say yes.

What she truly doesn't expect is to actually like the man.

Rating: Mature

A/N: So, like, does anyone else wonder how an absolutely ridiculous concept that would mortify me to my core in real life (it mortifies me a little when I look at the summary) has turned into a thirty chapter story that is decidedly not about the prompt anymore? Anyone? No? Me either. 

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22

Tag list: @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @wellhellotragic​ @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @artistic-writer @branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @galaxyzxstark @lifeinahole27 @andiirivera @ultimiflos @hollyethecurious @thejollyroger-writer @superchocovian @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @notoriouscs

“What about this one?”

“Too small.”

“This one?”

“Too expensive.”

“Emma.”

“Killian.”

“For fuck’s sake, you have to like something, Swan,” he mutters under his breath before slamming his laptop shut and running his hand through his hair, fingers sticking in the unwashed strands, while he tries to calm his breathing and himself before he truly goes off on Emma after having listened to her rejections on apartments for the better part of the last three hours. He’s rejected a few things too, but damn, they’re never going to find anything if it keeps going like this.

He’s just going to go off on Emma’s TV stand. Not break it or anything. Just complain to it about how they can’t find a home for it.

“Okaaay, so we need a break from apartment hunting,” Emma sighs, slouching down on the couch and propping her feet up on the coffee table, mismatched socks on full display to him. He wonders if she ever matches her socks. Probably not. It’s kind of charming. They’ve been looking online for hours, and she’s likely right. It’s nearly impossible right now. They need a breather. “What do you want to watch?”

“I feel like we need to talk about why we’re having issues finding a place.”

“Probably because we just decided to move in together yesterday, and you and I have totally different budgets.”

“I told you, love,” he sighs, twisting his head to look at her even as she avoids looking at him, “I want to buy a place. It’s better than renting. It’s equity, and we can renovate if we need to.”

“I can’t afford to buy these places, though. I know you can, but I’d like to contribute something.” Emma brings her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darting over to him before they look back at the television while her fingers tap against her legs, a series of nervous ticks if he’s ever seen them. He knew that was going to be a thing, but they’re not going to avoid issues anymore. They’re going to talk about them and figure them out even if it’s uncomfortable. “I’m not saying…I’m not saying I don’t have faith in us or whatever, but – ”

“Darling, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll get both of our names on the deed, or just yours, or whatever the hell you want so that if we break up, you don’t have to worry about moving. Or hell, you sell it, and then you buy what you want.”

She finally looks at him then, a brow raised on her forehead so that it wrinkles, and he can do nothing but smile as he watches the features on her face change while she thinks. She’s going to agree. She’s going to be a bit of an arse about it, but she’s going to agree. He also knows that she’s likely going to be the one who ends up finding the damn place while walking down the street instead of finding one after hours and days and weeks of searching.

He’s probably getting a little too much enjoyment out of this.

He’s really damn excited to be looking for a place to live with Emma.

With Emma.

That’s just…that’s insane. And it’s wonderful. So wonderful.

He’s a sap.

“So what you’re saying is that if I rip your heart out, I not only get to keep the apartment, but I have the possibility to profit off of it?”

“Aye.”

Slowly but surely her lips begin to curve into a smile, her teeth showing and face scrunching up into a smile. God, he’d do anything to get to see that smile every day of his life. He’s working on it. He really is.  “You are a sucker, KJ. You know that?”

He simply shrugs, moving his laptop over to the side before he slides over onto the cushions and pulls Emma to him so he can leave an obnoxiously loud smacking kiss on her cheek. He’s so goddamn happy to see her, to be with her both figuratively and literally, and he doesn’t care in the slightest over Emma teasing him or thinking he’s crazy. Really, he’s glad for it.

Emma is the woman he wants to be with. There’s not a doubt in his mind about that. He wants her to be the person he’s beside for the rest of his life even when they’re fighting, and while, yes, he knows that things could hit the fan in a spectacular fashion, he has hope. So, yeah, this could either be the best or worst real estate decision he’s ever going to make.

He’s thinking the best.

“I’m a sucker for you.” “That’s only a good line when the Jonas Brothers sing it.”

“I could sing it if you want me to.”

She hums, closing her eyes and pushing at his shoulder until he moves back to where he was sitting. It’s only a few moments before Emma is curling in on her side and wrapping her arms around his waist while her head rests on his chest and his hand rests on the bare skin of her stomach under her t-shirt, warmth permeating from the skin while the smell of the vanilla in her shampoo reaches his nose.

“While that sounds like a fantastic idea and something I’m going to take you up on later,” she murmurs against the material of his t-shirt, “I think we need to keep looking at these apartments before you realize just how bad of a real estate decision you’re making here. But, like, later. I can’t look at another place where everything is monochromatic white.” “Robin would be appalled by your hatred of the all white.” “Does he know?” “Know what?”

“That you might move? Babe, I know we’ve talked about it until our faces turned blue in the past twenty-four hours, but you’ve got to tell Robin and Will. And you’ve really got to tell your family, probably in person. I can go with you if you want. Maybe we can fly back on Friday. I’m sure our faces will have morphed to purple by then.”

“Yeah?”

“The purple thing? Yeah.”

“No,” he laughs, walking his fingers up her back, “the you coming with me to talk to my family this weekend.”

“I mean, yeah. Let’s keep looking for a place, maybe set up a few viewings for the next time you’re out here, but then we’ve got to tell your family and talk about it with them. I just hope they won’t hate me. I mean, I’ll still move to California, but I – ” “They love you,” he interrupts, ignoring her offer to move to California. She’s offered enough times that he doesn’t know if he can hear it again. Boston is the best decision for them right now, and they’re sticking with it. “Aiden loves you as much as Leo loves me.” “As reassuring as that is,” she sighs while nuzzling into his stomach again, her hand resting on his knee and tracing his skin with her fingernail, “I was kind of concerned with the adults. Should we tell my friends together too?”

“Nah, I thought maybe I’d just move and they’d figure it out when I showed up to every damn dinner.”

“It might take them awhile to notice.”

“Weeks most likely.”

“So maybe we should just tell them. I’ll get them a little card and some chocolate to soften the blow of finding out that I’ve decided to stick with ya, honey bunches.”

“Swan, I swear if you start calling me all of those ridiculous names I’ll – ”

“You’ll what? Break up with me? Can you wait until we own a fancy apartment so I can make some big bucks without lifting a finger?”

He should have never suggested that. She’d never do something like that, but she’s definitely going to tease him about it.

“I hate you.”

“I love you too, sweet cheeks.”

-/-

“Killy,” Leo screeches the moment they walk into the Nolan’s house the next night, David running behind him with wide eyes and a heaving chest. What the hell have the two of them been doing?

“Hi, buddy,” he laughs, reaching down and picking Leo up so he doesn’t run out the front door, all of the features on David’s face relaxing for just a moment. Dave looks far older than he did the last time Killian saw him, so the first few days of having more than one kid must have really taken their toll. “Did you miss me?”

“Yep. I have a brother.”

“I heard, little lad. You’re an older brother now, yeah?”

“Uh huh,” Leo sighs, relaxing in his arms and looking over at Emma who’s picking up the bags of groceries they brought even if Emma already brought over some frozen meals earlier this week. He figures if they’re going to invade parents of a newborn and a toddler, the least they can do is bring some food. “Is Superman here?”

Emma chuckles next to him, a glint of amusement in her eyes, and she moves her brows across her forehead. “No, but super Emma is.”

“I want Superman.”

“Leo,” David sighs, his eyes still a little heavy even as he greets Emma by kissing her cheek, “you have to be nice. Killian and Emma came to play with you.”

“It’s alright, mate. I’d want to see Superman over boring old me any day.”

“His clothes are a lot tighter than yours, so I second that.”

He rolls his eyes at Emma before he passes by she and David and makes his way into the kitchen with Leo, grabbing a bag of groceries from Emma on the way so he can unload them even with Leo babbling in his ear about anything and everything from his brother to his toys to the squirrel that was in the backyard yesterday. He and Leo have become good buddies over the past few months, and if it annoys Emma a little bit over how Leo will pick him over her, that’s only justified for how she’s stolen Aiden from him.

Not literally stolen, but that’s how it feels when Aiden would rather sleep on her chest than on his.

Then again, she’s got a fantastic chest…which is not at all the thing to be thinking when talking about a child’s napping preferences.  

Then again – nope. Not going there.

“Where’s your mummy?” he asks Leo as he places the bunch of bananas on their countertop and stuffs the plastic bags in the container the Nolans keep of them under their sink. How the hell does he know where they keep their plastic bags?

“I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t,” he murmurs under his breath before he moves away from the counters and makes his way to the living room where he can hear Emma and David talking before he even gets to the archway.

“You’re sure about this?” David questions, arms crossed over his chest and back straight in what Killian assumes is his position for when he interrogates suspects. David at work has got to be a sight to see. Maybe he’ll ask to shadow him one day. Lie and say it’s for a role simply so he can mess with the man.

“I mean, yeah. I love him and want a future with him. It’s been so hard even when it’s been good, and it’s only going to get worse when he’s working more or when we’ve been together longer, I think.”

“And he didn’t want you to move to LA?”

“He did. I did. I didn’t want him to feel like he has to give up anything for me, but we both agreed here is better for now. Maybe in the future we’ll move there. I don’t really know. It’s a lot of logistics.”

“If this is what you want, I’m happy for you.”

“Please,” Emma laughs, her eyes glancing to him in a way that he knows is her telling him she’s been aware he’s been creepily lurking in the archway, “don’t you at all pretend that you’re not thrilled that Killian’s going to be around more. I know he’s your favorite of my boyfriends that I keep toting around on each arm.”

The cheeky little minx that is his girlfriend.

“He’s in the room, isn’t he?”

“I knew you loved me, Dave,” Killian chuckles, walking further in with Leo who’s been surprisingly quiet this entire time. Obviously, his bud is meant to be an eavesdropper too. “I was thinking about buying the house right next door to here. We can even connect the houses if you want. That way I can visit you at night so we can have a cup of tea and chat all about our preferences for running shoes.”

“You’re obnoxious.”

“But you love me, right Leo? Does your daddy love me?”

“Yeah, Daddy loves Killy.”

“For f – ”

“Oh boy,” Emma smiles, shaking her head from side to side with the most precious smile tugging at her lips. “Babe, you’re going to make David curse in front of his kid. I suggest you don’t make his anxiety heighten by threatening to move in with him.”

“Not a threat, love,” he explains as he puts Leo down on the ground so he can play with some of his toys. “Just a very good offer to be roommates with the Nolans. Wouldn’t you like to do that?”

“There is literally no good way for me to answer that.”

He winks. “Exactly. So where’s Mary Margaret?”

“She and Brody are sleeping,” David explains as they all finally sit down, the couch moving under he and Emma’s weight. “They had a late night last night, so I hope she’s getting some sleep now. If she knew you guys were here, though, she’d be down here in a second, sleep deprivation not at all a worry, especially because you guys are apparently moving in together. She’d be all over that.”

“She’s far too invested in my life,” Emma jokes as her fingers start messing with the hair at the nape of his neck, shivers running down his spine with every delicate touch. God, she’s good at playing with his hair. She does this thing with her finger and damn, it’s amazing. She also does this thing with her tongue…but now is not the time for him to think about that. He’s obviously got to get his mind out of the gutter. “But she should definitely sleep. Is it about the same as with Leo?”

David shrugs while he wipes the sleep away from his eyes. “It’s different because we’re not as clueless and also have two kids to manage, but mostly it’s different because Brody is not at all as calm. It’s kind of like night and day, but we’ll figure it out. I think she’s honestly more stressed about us not having everything done because we’d put a few things off. He showed up a bit early to the party.”

“We can help, you know? That’s why we’re here. I didn’t buy you food just because I wanted to eat.”

“You ate a cereal bar on the way here,” Emma teases, and he twists his head to look at her and the same playful glint she had in her eyes earlier. He can’t stop thinking about how Emma was talking about how she wants a future with him without any hesitation in her voice. He knows that she wants it, knows that she loves him, but something about hearing her tell David about it has calmed him about this transition they’re about to make.

He was already calm. He’s just…he’s happy. Content.

“That was supposed to be a secret.”

“I’ve never been very good at keeping those.”

“Really now? Because unless you’re being weird and channeling Mary Margaret, I don’t think that’s true. Though, I’m kind of conflicted on whether or not I want you to be a good liar.”

“You probably don’t, KJ. Also, props on joking about Mary Margaret when David is right there.”

Emma raises her hand to give him a high five, and he laughs as he slaps her palm before interlacing their fingers and bringing her wrist to his so he can brush a kiss there.

“You come into my home, you steal my child away from me, you make fun of my wife, and worst of all, you eat my cereal bars.”

“It’s a hard knock life for you, Dave. Sorry about that.”

“You’re most definitely not.”

“You’ll never know because I’m a much better liar than Emma.”

“Hey,’ she groans, slapping his head instead of playing with his hair, “we just talked about how that was not a good thing.”

“For you. I said nothing about me.”

“Asshole.”

“Language.”

“David.”

The three of them spend the rest of the evening talking about everything from baseball to the apartments and houses they’ve looked at, David offering to let them know if he sees anything they might like, before Emma offers to go heat up one of the casserole dishes so that they can eat dinner. Mary Margaret eventually comes down with Brody, the little lad as small as can be wrapped up in his pajamas with a hat on his head. He looks just like Leo from what Killian can tell, and when Mary Margaret offers to let him hold Brody, he takes the opportunity, even if holding someone else’s newborn child will never not be terrifying.

Seriously. They’re so small and fragile, and no human being should ever have a self-destruct button on top of their head.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Mary Margaret sighs as she takes a sip of her water while David and Emma are in the kitchen finishing up dinner. Brody is staring up at him in between his fits of sleeping, and Killian’s pretty sure he’s been running his fingers over the lad’s stomach for the past half hour. It’s weirdly soothing. “I know Emma would die of mortification if I made it out to be a big deal, but this is such a big deal. She trusts you and loves you so much, and it’s a nice thing to see after watching that not happen over and over again.”

He smiles at Mary Margaret, something soft to keep things calm, because when he looks at her, she might as well be radiating out of her skin with excitement and eagerness to talk about it. She and Anna would probably hit it off like mad. Or maybe they’d hate each other. There can likely only be so much positive energy in a single room at one time.

Maybe they’ll have to meet outdoors.

But she’s right. He knows all of the dirty details of Emma’s past like she knows all of his, and them trusting each other and loving each other is a big thing.

“Well, I’m grateful that she’s given me the opportunity to be that kind of partner for her,” he admits, getting up from the couch and carefully placing Brody in his seat on the coffee table. “I was so damn anxious after this weekend because I knew we’d have to make a step like this at some point, and while I’ve never really doubted that Emma wanted to be with me, that’s still terrifying, you know?”

“Absolutely. I haven’t always been an overtired mom with a so-called ‘settled’ life. David and I went through all of that too. We didn’t live across the country from each other, but a relationship is a relationship. Sometimes even the good things are terrifying.”

“You sound like Elsa.”

“Well, I’ve never met her, but I’m pretty much Emma’s Elsa. We’re obligated to give advice even if we have no idea what we’re saying.”

So maybe she’s like Elsa too.

“That’s reassuring.” “That’s life. You guys will be good, and as much as I love my boys, I expect you guys to have a guest room for me so I can take a nap in a kid-free, husband-free space.”

“Of course we can do that, milady,” he laughs before taking a step forward and leaning down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll add it to our list.”

“Good.”

“Though, you might be stuck with Emma’s awful mattress and bedframe, so I’m not sure how much you’ll want to be sleeping over.”

“If I can sleep diagonally, I’ll sleep on a bed of nails.”

-/-

“Okay, you’re weird.”

“Love, this is not weird.”

“It so is,” Emma laughs as they walk past a Starbuck’s at the airport, the line stretching around the ropes and out into the walkway. “Who in the world walks up and down the entire terminal to, and I quote ‘explore the architecture’ instead of sitting down and messing around with their phone?”

He shrugs before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek underneath her baseball cap, rubbing his scruff into her skin simply so her entire face will scrunch up in the way that he likes. “I do. You see the most interesting things in airports. If you just sit at your gate, you miss so much. I mean, however will you know that you can get a customized Boston Red Sox neck pillow if you’re just waiting for your plane to take off?”

“I’m leaning so much about you today.”

“I don’t really appreciate your teasing tone there, Swan.”

“What?” she laughs, guiding them into a small bookstore. “It’s so true, KJ. You get anxious going through security even though you are a pro at traveling and then after that, you like to explore airports. You’re a fascinating man.”

“You’re too easily entertained. Why are we looking at books?”

“I need something to do on the plane. I’m not sure that ours has movies.”

“It does. I checked.”

“Oh,” she sighs, putting the book she was looking at down and clapping her hands together. “Then there’s no way in hell I’m paying fifteen dollars for a bad romance novel then. Let’s go get some coffee and a donut or something.”

“We ate before we got here.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t eat donuts, KJ,” she says as her eyes roll before she’s walking out of the store with her carry-on trailing behind here.

A woman on a mission for donuts.

Flying with Emma for the first time is definitely an adventure, and they haven’t even made it out of the shops yet. He’s honestly so amused by her all of the time, and he already knows that she’s going to buy a dozen donuts to eat on the plane even if she’ll only eat two of them and give the rest of them away.

Because a stranger giving away donuts while thirty thousand feet in the air is definitely something no one will find the slightest bit sketchy.

Emma doesn’t buy an entire dozen donuts or hand them out on the plane, but she does buy each of them one with their cups of coffee that they finish off while still exploring the terminal. He falls asleep about halfway through the flight, and when he wakes, their pilot is announcing their arrival time. It’s late even with the time change, so he and Emma hurry out of the airport and get back to his house before falling asleep without even bothering to change out of their clothes.

“Are you nervous?” she asks him the next morning as she brushes out her hair while he shaves for the first time in a little over a week, the red in his beard showing through more than usual.

He is a little nervous to tell his family that he’s moving, to talk about all that’s coming up, but he also knows that they likely expect it, especially Elsa. It doesn’t make the blow any less hard, but he does think it may ease it the slightest bit. If anything, he thinks that Will and Robin might take it the hardest, Roland even more so, and the guilt does weigh on him a bit. But this is the right decision. He knows that it is. They’ve talked about it, thought about it, and he wouldn’t be doing this if it’s not what he wanted.

It’ll be a new normal and it’ll take awhile to adjust to things, but he’ll figure it out. They’ll both figure it out. He’s not giving up anything. His life is simply going through another adjustment period. But this one is a good one.

“Aye, a little bit,” he admits, running his razor across his jaw, “but they’ll be fine.”

“They’ll miss you,” Emma sighs, putting her brush down and walking over to him so that she wraps her arms around his stomach and kisses between his shoulder blades before he can feel her nuzzle her face in his skin. “You’ll visit a lot though. I will too. And maybe we can get them to come out to visit us. I think they’d like Boston.”

“We do have a hell of a lot of miles that they can travel with.”

“Trust me, I know. I can cash them in for a bunch of Amazon gift cards, and I’ve resisted the urge.”

“The height of selflessness.”

When they get to Liam’s place for lunch, he and Elsa are standing in the garage going through storage containers, piles of them scattering the floor with their cars sitting in the driveway. It’s an absolute mess. He had no idea that they even had this much stuff out here, and he’s sure that they’ve likely already cleaned out half of it.

“Aren’t you supposed to be cooking, Jones?” he calls out as he slams his door closed. “I was under the impression that you guys were going to be feeding me today.”

“I swear to God, Killian, you better be talking to your brother and not me.”

“Of course I am, lass,” he promises, walking over to Elsa and kissing her cheek in greeting. “I like to impose as much difficulty on my brother as I can.”

“That’s why I love you,” Elsa sighs before he sees her turn her head to look at Emma. “Oh my gosh am I happy to see you,” she squeals, quickly running toward Emma and wrapping her in a hug while he does the same to his brother. “I know it’s been less than a week, but I was worried about you.”

He doesn’t hear the rest of what Emma and Elsa are saying as he talks to Liam, the music that’s playing in the background drowning them out as he focuses on Liam.

“So you’re good?” he asks, squeezing Killian’s shoulder while his eyes scan his face, slanting for a moment before widening so he can see the blue that he always associates with his brother. “You two are good? This isn’t a ‘we’ll still love you both even though Mummy and Daddy aren’t together anymore’ kind of talk?”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes the slightest bit as he shakes his head from side to side. He had talked to Liam a bit about what was going on, if only because he knew Elsa would let some of it slip. And also because his brother is his best friend who is privy to most of his thoughts. “No, it’s not that. It’s actually,” he turns his head to glance over his shoulder at Emma who’s still animatedly talking to Elsa, her hands flying all over the place while her face is brightened by her smile, “kind of the opposite of that.”

“Bloody hell. Are you getting married?”

His heart practically flies up to his throat, constricting his breathing for a moment before it settles back down into its regular resting place. That’s not…he wants to but – later. Later is the time to talk about that. “No, no. We’re not getting married, but we are, um…well – ” He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. He most definitely did not plan on telling Liam standing in his garage with Queen blaring over the speakers. “I’m moving to Boston,” he finally blurts out, the words freeing once they slip past his lips and into the air.

Liam blinks a few times, his lips slightly parting before they close and press into a smile, one that opens up so that Liam’s entire face is full of smile lines before suddenly Killian’s being pulled back into a hug, the warmth that radiates from his brother enveloping him as Liam pats him on the back several times as he whispers in his ear.

“I’m so damn happy for you. That’s – bloody hell, Killian. I can’t believe you’re making this kind of commitment. I can, but God – that’s amazing.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Of course not. I’m going to miss you, and I don’t imagine my wife’s reaction will be quite this happy, but this is a good thing. You deserve it.”

“Thank you,” he murmurs into Liam’s shoulder before pulling back, stepping out of his embrace and reaching up behind his ear so that he can scratch the shell, the urge irresistible. This is going so differently than he thought it would, but he’s not dumb enough to complain or question it. “How do you suppose I tell Elsa?”

“Quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. She’ll lose her mind if you do a big build up.”

“Aye, I know. I just don’t want to shock her.”

“Killian Jones,” Elsa screeches, coming over to him and slapping his shoulder before she places her hands on her hips and stares him down in such a way that it seems like she’s the one who’s half a foot taller, “you’re moving across the country, and you’re just now telling me?”

His eyes dart over her head to Emma who’s standing with her arms crossed over her chest and her bottom lip tugged between her teeth. “I’m sorry,” she mouths, shrugging her shoulders.

Looks like they both had the same willpower to keep their mouths shut.

“What do you mean just now? It’s only been a few days, Els.”

“You should have told me right after you decided. I could have helped.”

“With what?”

“Finding you an apartment or a house, you idiot,” she laughs, pulling him in for a hug that’s much rougher than the one Liam just gave her. Though she be but little, she is fierce. “I’ve never been to Boston, but I have my realtor’s license. I can help. It’s literally what I do for a living.”

“Darling, I know,” he chuckles into her hair before pulling back. “You helped me find my house here, but we’ve only just started looking. I don’t think we need to call in reinforcements just yet.”

“Can you believe he’s moving?” Elsa sighs, looking over to Liam before she pinches his cheeks. She’s literally pinching his cheeks. Maybe they all do need a little space. “Our little baby is growing up so fast.”

“You’re both incredibly obnoxious.”

“It’s just because we love you,” Elsa promises, pressing up on her toes and kissing his cheek where she’s just left it red. “And Emma. We love Emma too.”

“Nice to know I’m not chopped liver or something,” Emma sighs, walking over to stand next to them with the softest, most content smile on her face, “which is a super weird phrase if you think about it.”

“Swan, you’ve got to stop thinking about the origin of phrases.”

“Why? They’re all so weird.”

“You know what else is weird?” Liam questions, pulling out his phone and sliding his finger down so that the music quiets. “We were going to have chopped liver for lunch, so this is a great coincidence.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Don’t even joke about that.”

“I’m never letting you cook again.”

“I’m obviously kidding,” Liam sighs, leaning down to pick up a box before he hits the button that closes the garage door. “I’ve got a roast cooking, and I’ll even let you guys open a good bottle of wine since we’re celebrating your move.”

“Oh, you’re so generous,” Emma jests as she walks to the door that lets them into the kitchen, patting Liam on the shoulder on her way. “I can’t believe I get to be the recipient to your kindness.”

“You’re being cheeky for someone who’s probably going to need my help learning what to do and not do when living with Killian.”

Emma pauses in the doorway, sticking her head back out from where she’d walked inside the house. She seems to be thinking of something to say, her brows furrowed together, but then her lips are curling into a wicked smile and he sees her wink. She winks about like him, though. It’s so damn obvious when it’s supposed to be subtle. He loves it.

“You say this, but I also have a very big advantage that you never had when it comes to dealing with the clean freak over there.”

“And what’s that, love?”

“When he’s mad at me, I can just have sex with him.”

He’s never seen Liam look so horrified in his life, his eyes blown wide and brows raised while his lips continue to open and close, whatever words he had dying on his tongue.

“Yeah,” Elsa sighs, patting her husband on the shoulder even as he stays frozen, “I always knew that I liked her. She can make you be quiet, and honestly, what more does a girl need?”

[walviemort]

paternal instincts

Emma's fear of pregnancy leads Killian to find—and use—a spell that allows him to carry their child instead. A canon-divergent CS pregnancy fic, just with the roles flipped a bit. (mpreg; rated T for implied sexy times) | AO3

A/N: dedicated to @sherlockianwhovian and @cocohook38 for their inspiration

Chapter 1—(Im)possibilities

Summary: Belle tells Killian about a spell that would make his and Emma's dreams of having a baby come true—but can he sway Emma? | 2.4k words

On his days off from the station, Killian was always happy to help Belle around the library, even if it just meant keeping Gideon occupied while Belle got work done around the building. He’d developed a special bond with the lad over the past year and a half of calm, and the boy’s shouts of “Unc’l Killy!” never ceased to make his heart skip a beat. He was forever grateful to Belle for allowing him to have this relationship with her son, but...he longed for one of his own.

He knew Emma did, too; they’d talked about it more than once. However, it was the thought of pregnancy that stopped her, and he completely understood her concerns after what she went through carrying Henry. And he knew there were other ways of acquiring a child, but the nature of Storybrooke had a way of prohibiting them.

By no means were they unhappy, and Henry was certainly enough for them; but there was more than enough love between them that they wanted to share it. If only they could figure out how.

“Unc’l Killy, no stop!” Killian jumped as Gideon slapped the picture book he was holding; he hadn’t realized he’d trailed off, lost in thought. There was something that just felt so right about having a little human in his lap that made his mind wander.

“Apologies, my boy,” he answered, and continued telling the tale before them—and a few others—until Gideon fell asleep, and he was content to stay there as the boy napped, watching his tiny parted lips and long lashes that lie on his cheeks while he slumbered.

He hardly noticed when Belle came by, with mugs of tea for both of them, and sat in the plush chair adjacent to Killian’s. She smiled gently at the boys next to her. “You seem awfully comfortable there.”

Killian blushed as he carefully picked up his mug, cautious not to spill on the babe in his lap. “It’s hard not to be,” he replied bashfully. “Your lad is just so sweet.”

“I know. Any changes on that front with you?” He’d confessed his feelings about the situation before to Belle; it wasn’t anything he hadn’t told Emma already, but it was nice to have someone else to talk to about it.

“Afraid not. It honestly seems like a dead end at this point.” He chuckled humorlessly, “Hell, I’d carry a child myself if that were an option.”

Belle perked at his comment, but then she shook her head, as if having an internal debate. He could tell that she was withholding something.

“Belle, what do you know?” he enquired slowly, curious at her reaction.

She started, a bit sheepishly, “Um, well, there might be...I mean, I might know where to find a spell that allows for just that.”

“Seriously?” His heart raced at the idea—though he wasn’t sure if it was in excitement, fear, or both.

“I came across it a while back when I was doing some research to...well, to keep myself and Gideon safe, before he was born. I can’t remember the details, but I can show it to you, if you’d like.”

“I’d like that very, very much, love.”

She gave him a small smile. “Alright then. Meet me at Granny’s for breakfast and I’ll bring what I’ve got.”

It was all he could do to keep his elation at the idea from Emma that night; he didn’t want to get her hopes up if it turned out to be for nought. But he definitely reminded her how much he loved her, child or no.

The next morning, Regina arrived at Granny’s at the same time he did. “Your Majesty,” he greeted as he held the door open for her. She scoffed, as always, but he still noticed the slight blush on her cheeks. He wasn’t quite sure how to describe the odd friendship the two former villains had settled into, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

He followed her inside, and had just started scanning the room when Belle called him—and Regina, to his surprise—to the booth she’d claimed, where she was waving at them with an ancient-looking book in front of her.

“Is that it?” he asked, trying to mask the hope in his voice as he took a seat across from Belle. She nodded excitedly.

“What’s this little pow-wow all about, then?” Regina asked as she slid into the booth next to Killian.

“First off, can you put some sort of silencing spell around us? I’m not sure we want this overheard just yet,” Belle began. Regina nodded and waved her hand; suddenly, the din of the diner was gone and their words were only for each other. “Alright, Killian and I were chatting yesterday, and I remembered that this spell existed. I wanted to have you take a look at it before we go any further on it.”

Carefully, Belle opened the tome to a marked page, and turned and slid it across to Regina. Killian watched in anticipation as Regina’s eyes scanned the page, only going slightly wide when she realized what she was reading. He braced himself for a snide comment, but none came.

She turned to him, though, with a soft look on her face. “You really want to do this, Killian?”

“Aye,” he said solemnly. “How difficult is it?”

Regina gave him a small, wistful smile, before she explained. “Not very, but it does have to be done right. Here, take a look.” She passed the book to him, and he read the Elvish script as she described it. “This is going to sound a bit clinical, but basically, it would transfer the necessary organs over at the necessary time, starting at the time of conception and right up until the baby was born. Emma would have to cast it, but I assume you planned on talking to her first.”

“Of course.” He noticed in his own translation that the transfer didn’t happen all at once: some parts didn’t switch over until it was time to give birth, and some didn’t at all—nursing would still be Emma’s job. But thankfully, the spell would last indefinitely, if they didn’t conceive on their first try; however, it couldn’t be reversed. “Is there anything we’d need to procure?”

Regina skimmed the list of ingredients. “No, I have everything; and anything I don’t would come from the two of you. If you really want to do this, we can.” Killian’s vision suddenly got blurry; this could actually happen! He looked up at the feeling of pressure on his hand where it rested on the table; Belle was squeezing it in support and grinning, and he couldn’t help but return it. “But,” Regina started in a warning tone. “I won’t do anything until Emma comes to me with this. And think about it, Hook—pregnancy isn’t a walk in the park.”

“I know.” But he also knew it’d be worth it.

“And he’ll have all the support in the world,” Belle added.

“Just wait until the grandparents find out,” Regina continued, joking, but they all knew that Snow would lose her mind. “Think it over and let me know what you two decide, okay? I have to get to the office. I’ll see you later.” The sound of the diner rushed back in and Regina gracefully stood up and slipped out of the diner, leaving Killian and Belle alone with the revelation.

Belle squeezed his hand again. “Hey, talk to me.”

Honestly, his thoughts were a jumbled mess. It was definitely going to be a leap of faith, and he wasn’t sure how hard it would be to sway Emma, but he felt incredibly optimistic. All he could manage to reply, in a watery voice, was, “I can have a child.”

He spent the rest of the day taking care of the Jolly Roger, and it was impossible not to imagine a toddler running around the ship with Emma’s fair hair and his blue eyes. Or the reverse. More than once, he caught himself staring into space at the idea.

When he was done, he rushed home to get dinner ready, preparing Emma’s favorite foods in a subtle attempt to charm her to the idea, even though he was ever hopeful she’d be on board.

“What’s this?” she asked as she came in the kitchen that night, wrapping her arms around him from behind while he flipped a grilled cheese on the stove. “Are you trying to butter me up to something?”

Not as subtle as he thought, then. “Am I not allowed to make my wife’s favorite dinner just because?”

“Just because what?” she asked, playfully.

He moved the finished sandwich onto a plate on the counter and turned in her embrace. “Just because he loves her to the ends of the earth and beyond.”

“Mm, okay,” she conceded, laughter playing in her green eyes, and rose to her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips. “But I can still tell you’re up to something,” she added when she pulled back. “What is it? Is everything okay?” Worry slipped into her tone.

“Aye, love; everything is fantastic. Take a seat and I’ll tell you about it.”

She gave him a curious look, but then did as he said. She snorted as she pulled out her chair, and then joked, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were telling me you were pregnant.”

He paused, facing away from her as he picked up the dinner plates—did she know? Nerves suddenly filled his stomach, but he swallowed them down as he returned to her. After setting the dishes on the table, he took his own seat and started. “No, but...it is about that.”

The amused look on her face quickly fell. “Killian, we’ve talked about this—”

“I know, love, and I understand why you don’t want to go through that. I’m not asking you to; I never would. But,” he began to explain, having to swallow again. “What if I told you there was another way to have a child—our child—without you carrying it?”

She tilted her head in confusion. “What, like a surrogate?”

“Aye, I supposed that’s what it would be.”

“Who, though? Did you want to ask my mom, or Regina, or—”

“Me.”

Emma’s mouth hung open for a moment, but then she closed it, furrowing her brow and shaking her head. “I’m sorry, did you just say...you?”

“I did.”

“But...how?”

He shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “Magic.”

“There’s seriously a spell that lets a man carry a child?”

“Don’t tell me you’re actually that surprised, love.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be,” she conceded. “But...seriously, Killian? There’s a reason I don’t want to put myself through that again, and it’s not just the psychological stuff. It kind of sucks.”

“So I’ve heard.” He was shocked at how calm he was, but Emma’s reaction wasn’t far from what he expected; he knew there would be some level of incredulity, as well as concern for him. But she hadn’t shot it down yet.

Emma chewed her lip in thought. “How would it work? What would we have to do?”

He bit back a grin at that; knowing Emma, that meant she was practically on board. “I can explain all the particulars after dinner; now, eat before your meal goes cold, and tell me about your day.”

She snorted. “Well, you certainly sound like a mom.”  They carried on easily with the meal, even though the weight of the looming conversation hung over them, and Emma quickly cleaned and then joined him in the sitting room, where he was waiting for her on the sofa.

“So,” she started.

“So.”

“Tell me what you found.”

He cleared his throat, opened the ancient spellbook sitting on the coffee table, and explained the whole thing as best he could, using the rudimentary anatomical drawing on the page for help. She asked many of the same questions he had that morning, and seemed satisfied with the answers.

“Okay, let me make sure I have this right, and forgive my use of scientific terms: so basically, we cast this spell, I drink the potion, and whenever we conceive a child, my uterus will transfer over to you?”

“Yes.”

“But not my vagina?”

“Not until labor starts.”

“And not my boobs.”

“That’s not a clinical term, but no, not ever.”

“What about after birth? It takes a bit for that stuff to go back to normal.”

“Um...the translation comes to, ‘everything will return to its owner when it has returned to its earlier state.’ So I suppose that will take some time.”

“Okay.” She stared at the book a bit more, a pensive look on her face. He wanted to ask what she was thinking, but then she spoke up. “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? You’ve seen first-hand that it’s not easy, and there can always be complications. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” she admitted in a small voice.

He took her hand in his and used his hook to nudge her face up, bringing their eyes level. There was trepidation in hers, but he could see the excitement lingering behind that. “Swan, our life together, right now, is happier than I ever thought I’d get. And if I can do this to add to that happiness, I’m more than willing to go through whatever it will take to let our love and family grow.”

The concern on Emma’s face had softened a bit, giving way to a tiny smile. “How do you always know the right thing to say?” she wondered, lightly teasing.

“Is that a yes?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it is. If you’re sure, I’m sure. Let’s do this.”

He had no words that would serve to describe his elation at her agreeing; he was almost laughing in glee and his grin hurt his cheeks. All he could do was pull her tight and place a searing kiss on her lips. “Thank you, love,” he finally managed to utter as he held her close.

She leaned back a bit and glanced up at him through her lashes seductively. “Well, now that that’s settled, why don’t we go get some practice at making that baby?”

He immediately felt arousal build within. “Lead the way, darling.”