#I’m not really sure how to be a person rn

[prettygirl-gabi]

Title: Cleaning Up

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comfort

POV: First-Person

Summary: cleaning isn’t always better than asking for help.

this is based off my current life experiences rn ngl���.

I don’t know when it started. Maybe a few days ago, maybe weeks. Time blurs when I’m like this, stretching out like a long, dark tunnel where I can’t see the light at the end. All I know is that at some point, I stopped making my bed. Then, I stopped doing laundry. Then, dishes piled up, clothes scattered across the floor, and my desk became a mess of unopened textbooks and half-empty water bottles.

Now, my dorm room is a disaster zone.

I tell myself it’s not that bad. I just need to clean up a little, and everything will feel normal again. I just need a reset.

That’s what I tell Paige when she calls me, her voice light but laced with something knowing.

“You comin’ to team dinner, baby?” she asks, and I picture her leaning against her dorm wall, probably already dressed in one of her hoodies and sweats.

I glance at my room—clothes everywhere, my bedsheets half on the mattress, my desk cluttered with God knows what. My chest tightens. “I’m gonna sit this one out. Gotta clean.”

A pause. Then, “You sure? You’ve been missing a lot lately.”

I press my lips together. It’s not that I don’t want to see her or the team. I just can’t. Not when my head feels like it’s drowning, and my room is proof that I’m sinking.

“Yeah,” I say, trying to sound casual. “I just need to clean up a little. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Another pause. A longer one.

“…Okay.” Paige doesn’t sound convinced, but she doesn’t push. She never does.

I hang up before she can say anything else and toss my phone onto my bed.

The thing about cleaning when I’m like this is that it’s less about making things tidy and more about trying to scrub the weight off my chest. I pick up a shirt, toss it into the hamper. Grab a water bottle, throw it in the trash. Each action is small, but the mess is overwhelming, and no matter how much I do, it never feels like enough.

I don’t know how long I’ve been at it when there’s a knock at my door.

I freeze.

No one ever comes by unannounced.

I consider ignoring it, pretending I’m asleep, but then I hear voices—multiple voices.

“C’mon, we know you’re in there!” KK’s voice.

“You better open this door before I do it myself,” Ice adds.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Of course, it’s them.

I hesitate, debating whether to just pretend I’m not here, but then Paige speaks. “Baby, open up. Please.”

Something in my chest cracks.

With a sigh, I drag myself to the door and unlock it. The second I do, they push inside like a wave. KK, Ice, Aubrey, Azzi, and, of course, Paige, standing in the middle of them with a look that’s a mix of concern and quiet understanding.

They don’t say anything at first. Their eyes sweep over my room, taking in the disaster. I wait for the judgment, for the comments about how gross it is, but they never come.

Instead, KK claps her hands. “Alright, let’s get to work.”

I blink. “What?”

Azzi moves past me, already gathering my laundry. “You sort your clothes or just throw ‘em all together?”

“Uh… just throw them together?”

“Cool.” She grabs my hamper and heads for the door like she’s done this a million times.

Ice starts picking up the trash, Aubrey is straightening my bed, and KK is gathering the mess on my desk. It’s like they planned this.

Paige doesn’t move at first. She just looks at me.

“Why are y’all doing this?” I ask, my voice quiet.

Paige finally steps closer, placing a hand on my cheek, her thumb brushing gently over my skin. “Because we know what this means for you,” she murmurs.

I swallow hard.

“We’ve known for a while,” Aubrey adds, smoothing out my blankets. “You always disappear when your room gets bad.”

“You call it ‘cleaning,’ but really, it’s you spiraling,” Ice says, not unkindly. “So, we figured we’d help.”

My throat tightens. I look at Paige, who’s still watching me with those soft blue eyes, and something in me breaks. I didn’t think anyone noticed. I didn’t think anyone cared.

I turn away quickly, blinking back tears.

“You don’t have to do this,” I say, my voice shaky.

“Yeah, we do,” Paige says. “Because we love you.”

The words hit me harder than they should. I press my lips together, trying to hold it together, but then Paige wraps her arms around me from behind, pressing her forehead against my shoulder.

“You don’t have to do everything alone,” she whispers.

And that’s it. The dam breaks.

I turn in her arms, burying my face in her hoodie, and she holds me like she’s been waiting for me to let go. My hands clutch at her, and I shake, silent sobs wracking through me.

The room is quiet except for the sounds of them moving around, cleaning up the pieces of my mess. Of me.

And for the first time in weeks, I don’t feel so alone.

By the time they’re done, my room looks… normal. The bed is made, the trash is gone, my clothes are either folded or being washed. It doesn’t feel suffocating anymore.

I sit on my bed, exhausted but lighter. Paige sits beside me, threading her fingers through mine.

“We’re always here,” she says softly.

I nod, squeezing her hand.

“Next time, just tell us,” KK says, sitting on the floor with a grin. “Or don’t. Either way, we’re coming.”

I laugh—a real laugh—for the first time in what feels like forever.

“Y’all are the worst,” I mutter, but it’s filled with affection.

Paige leans over, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Nah. We’re just your people.”

And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough to keep me from drowning.

---

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                 -Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

                             -prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[badgalsasuke]

Hi! None of my friends are into Naruto so I came to your ask. Please bear with me :,(

It’s nothing serious: just wanted to ramble about Naruto and Sasuke in Naruto Gaiden. They give such huge exes energy it’s both painful and funny to witness.

It’s painful because they both clearly didn’t let go of their feelings. Naruto sends his shadow clone to deal with his own son (or go to his own daughter’s birthday!) but he meets Sasuke in person. And it’s not like it was even necessary! He was pretty comfortable talking about this exact problem on a phone with Kakashi. He could’ve sent Sasuke a letter, he could’ve sent someone else to help him, he could’ve sent him a goddamn clone.

And Sasuke being all bitter with Naruto in that flashback. Kishimoto was literally showing us the real exes behavior and too many people didn’t bat an eye. (I’m really curious how sns deniers explain that scene)

There was a whole ass Hinata humiliation moment with bento. Boruto wanted to return the bento to her because even he knew Naruto would not appreciate it and when Naruto finally got it the only thing he thought about was how Sasuke fed him. Not even a single thought about his wife or at least his children?

Naruto always being there for Sarada while neglecting his own child… wow. I never thought he and Sasuke were that similar. (Also him, and not Sasuke’s wife, telling Sasuke’s daughter about his past. Nah, definitely doesn’t ring a bell lmao)

Naruto thinking of Iruka and Sasuke when talking about love and family. I guess if he really loved his wife he would’ve thought of her too. She’s supposed to be his immediate family now…

I know there are people who are homophobic and just refuse to see the obvious, but there’s literally a bunch of people who are dumb or blind. And of course there’s this special category of dumb who think that Kishimoto “accidentally” created his own story.

I just know he spent many nights sleepless, trying to make ss and nh as realistic as it should be. I wish more people recognized work.

Anyways, sorry for my messy ask. I’m just full of thoughts rn. I almost didn’t include ss moments cuz they’re not even worth mentioning, plus you’ve talked about the forehead poke several times and I agree with everything you said. Thanks for reading or no offense if you decided to skip my ask 🫶

Hi anon!

I think people saw what was going on with Gaiden and that's why it remains Kishimoto's most controversial work. SS shippers really don't like to touch upon it and barely bring it up in their discussions and arguments except for *sometimes* the "because we have you" panel and it's just sometimes because you can't deny how miserable both Sasuke and Sakura look there. Outside of SNS circles, I've noticed the rest of the fandom don't bring it up as often, they'd rather ignore it.

There was a whole ass Hinata humiliation moment with bento. Boruto wanted to return the bento to her because even he knew Naruto would not appreciate it and when Naruto finally got it the only thing he thought about was how Sasuke fed him.

This moment is why it baffles me a bit why people think NH is the better marriage out the two het!ships because Naruto clearly does not give a fuck about that woman just like Sasuke doesn't care about Sakura.

Naruto knew, and Boruto knew that he knew it was made by Hinata especially for him because she loves him. But when Naruto has the opportunity to go meet with Sasuke in person why would he want anything from Hinata? Once again reminding us why for The Last they had to make sure Sasuke wasn't in the village lol.

But you gotta love how Kishimoto expresses what a bento means. It's not about just feeding someone, it's more about that special person sharing it with you.

Boruto thinks of his mom, because well, ofc he would think that's his dad's special person, all kids want to believe their parents are each other's soulmate and love of their lives.

Kishimoto telling us how a bento is not just food for sharing for the sake of feeding someone, it's about being present in the mind and heart of a loved one. That's why for Naruto this moment is so significant, how special he had to be for Sasuke he’d want to share a meal with him (and forcing Sakura to do the same as well) when he was a loser nobody, ahhh my heart. Kishimoto is truly a great tragic romance writer.

I think people sometimes focus too much on deciphering Sarada's true backstory (I get it, it's very juicy), that people kinda overlook Naruto telling us that even after all those years married and having two kids, Sasuke is still his #1 love. A heartbroken Sarada complained that after all those years away Sasuke forgot even her face and she's not blood-related to Sakura, and I find fascinating how Naruto responds "there's something stronger than time and blood... love".

He's been married for 13 years and has two kids and yet all that time and that blood relation won't change that his bond with Sasuke formed out of pure love (because people always say "Sasuke and Naruto didn't even spend that much time together, it doesn't make sense they're obsessed with each other) is the most important one alongside his bond with Iruka. Doesn't matter how many years they go without seeing each other, Naruto will always love Sasuke.

[plantpixi]

.

[tariah23]

One of the main reasons why I used to avoid Isekai’s, and fantasy works in general, like the plague is because of how over saturated they’d become with things that didn’t feel like they even belonged to the genre to begin with… it’s not too hard to find works that stand out but so much of those works have been pushed down and forgotten, it just sucks.

[places-people]

posting this here bc it’s dumb and cringy but it IS a weird kind of special feeling to like, go from watching people on YouTube when you were 20 and gay and lonely without many gay friends to then being friends with those same people from YouTube all those years ago and being in their posts about trips they take with friends

[lemonynuggets]

through my re-read of jshk and every new chapter I think I’ve come to appreciate all the characters a lot more than I already did

[crossbackpoke-check]

re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on

https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share

(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.

(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)

anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂

- @bondedpairs

ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!

[lazlohno]

A ramble about hidden disability lanyards and early expression of my identity

i wear my hidden disability lanyard whenever i go out. it’s VERY decorated, with lots of pins on it, as well as keychains and stim toys clipped on. i am emotionally comfortable wearing it. it gives me something to communicate why i do certain things.

just now i was thinking about something i was asked in school; “Doesn’t it make you nervous that everyone around knows that you’re disabled?”

Hm. I had never thought about it that way. No, not really.

I mean, before I wore my lanyard, I still exhibited autistic traits and behaviours. people just called me weird and crazy for it. now, if they still wanna do that they’ll get (deserved) dirty looks.

Maybe it’s because of how I’ve interacted with my identity. I discovered I was some form of LGBTQ+ fairly young, maybe 9? Age isn’t a reliable marker of time for me. Anyway, I was also very much on the internet, and quickly discovered other people like me - people who were loud and proud about their identities, which gave me the confidence to be like that too. Because of this, I was very confident in that aspect of my identity (despite having issues everywhere else, as is - I think - usual for that age.). I expressed my queerness openly online and among my… nicer peers.

Perhaps my early experience in expressing my identity, as well as receiving backlash and ignorance for it, prepared me to be more confident in my neurodivergence?

I mean, in my mind, the worst they could say is some ableist rhetoric that I know is untrue, right?

Sure, some comments will stick with me for longer, (Looking at you, “Are you gonna get the Barbie set for your Christmas?” guy, who said that after making fun of my stim toys and comfort items I was actively using to regulate myself.)

but meh. I’ve lived through worse. I’ve heard worse, and worse comments come back to me when I’m feeling worse.

So I can handle it, genuinely.

It just made me a bit confused. The question from earlier, I mean.

Yes. Everyone around me knows I am disabled.

But they would’ve known anyway.

I might as well be proud of it!

[lovebloods]

.

[princeofyorkshire]

me to my mom 4 years ago: i’m bisexual

my mom today: so you still don’t know if you like boys or girls?

[inga-don-studio]

I think I’m good to call my short break over; I’ll try to catch up as best I can over the next couple days, but I’m still going to try to take it easy. We’ll uh … we’ll see how well I stick to that plan …

Also I haven’t seen my queue this short in AGES, considering it’s been flirting with the 300 post limit a lot recently. It’s far less overwhelming! Feels good!!!

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

My current laptop is a 2015 model and it’s saying I need to replace the battery (this would be the second or third time I think) and sometimes people are just like “keeping that thing going can end up being more expensive than just buying a new computer” but I’m ride or die with this thing. We’re together until god themself takes its life for the final time. I don’t care if its tenth birthday is coming up, we’re in this mess together, and even when I will one day be forced to get a new computer for outdated software reasons, I’m keeping this bitch until they pass on to computer heaven (because it’s been a good computer but my last personal one is in purgatory and my old highschool laptop is in hell) I used my 2014 (or was it 2014?) phone until the screen started to detach from the frame, don’t test me. I’m too stubborn and autistic.

[exopelagic]

outgrowing characters is the weirdest thing

[milkymooshi]

About yours truly <3

• 21 | Feel free to call me Moo/Mooshi/M | 5’9

• Genderfluid/NB (He/She/They) | Aromantic | Bi <3

• ADHD | Autism

• Disability? Nah. Dis Ability <3

• Queer Feminine Chinese-American 🇨🇳🇺🇸 (Cantonese speakers rise‼️‼️)

• Lazy Artist/Writer

• Current hyperfixation: Gotham | Oswald Cobblepot my beloved <3

Prev/Current fandom interests:

• TF2

• Transformers

• Dungeons and Dragons

• Markiplier

• JJBA (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) (DIU fave <3)

• Blend S

• (Will add more as remembered or discovered)

[max-fewtrell]

.

[21280]

may I request miss🙋🏻‍♀️ some high nsfw katsuki

warnings for nsfw, p star! katsuki, no quirk college au, consumption of weed n alc, masturbation, fem! reader, it’s a cliffhanger i’m sorry i don’t have the brain rn

katsuki bakugo would become a porn star entirely on accident.

the topic would surge from time to time in his friend group, mostly as a joke. because "gosh, bakugo! you have the body of a porn star! you sure you're not on some secret account we don't know about?" and it really got to him. what does a porn star body look like, anyway? it's a mystery to him, as he pulls out his phone on incognito and...

he's in disbelief. he's actually looking up porn. never in his life would katsuki bakugo ever think of doing so. katsuki feels like he'd be less guilty if he's not sober whatsoever, so he's searching multiple accounts on his twitter throwaway with one hand as the other holds a small joint. it's not long before his eyes are completely red, pants and boxers slid down to his ankles, and videos recommended by kaminari going on auto-play.

but he's not satisfied, not one bit. he stopped caring for physique videos ago, he's now entertained by the poor technique. with blurry vision, he reads the replies and quote tweets, expressing their inconformities. comments like "god, her moans sound so fake", or "can't he stroke it slowly? i want it to last" make his mind run. katsuki bakugo was lost in the world of constructive criticism, while his ego began to chew at him.

he can do better than those stupid extras, right?

of fucking course. he's katsuki bakugo. but he's not gonna fucking do it. nope. never.

katsuki bakugo is a lightweight. he feels like he's sitting on the moon instead of his couch as he's gulping down some cheap rum his friends bought the week prior. and soon enough, his camera app is open, cock fully on display, and he's stroking it for a few good minutes. and the camera catches everything—how his cock twitches every time his strokes get slower, how the tip was reddish and filled with precum from the very beginning, his heavenly moans, his white-knuckled grip, and how his knees shake as he comes undone and stains his red, velvet couch.

and he has the video on twitter as a draft, half written caption and all. katsuki needs to visualize how it would look like if he posted. until he does. his finger slips, and the video and half caption are posted. at first, katsuki is mortified and doesn’t know what to do, until he sees a person liking and commenting. he decides to leave it up until he sobers up.

twelve hours and a huge hangover later, user 00179359027728kb is a twitter porn sensation.

thousands of users express their love for him, asking and demanding for more videos, as well as wishing to be his partner in crime. when katsuki realizes he can monetize this, he suddenly has dollar signs for eyes. a few videos later and katsuki bakugo is famous.

so famous, in fact, that one of your friends is in love with him, despite only seeing the lower half of his face. she raves about him to you on the daily, and as a result you find yourself creating a throwaway to watch his videos, and damn—katsuki is fucking sensational. he’s an icon, and you wish he were in your bed right then and there.

but he’s quickly discarded by your own brain as you get ready for an outing. it’s a nice, weekend night, and your friends are ready to go clubbing. once you get there it’s… okay, you suppose. dim lighting, people stuffed like sardines in a can, and the occasional couple eating their faces in the corner. you know the many cocktails you had are catching up to you once you accidentally bump into a person, and as you turn to apologize, you’re stunned.

“y’should watch where you’re going.”

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t see y—wait—are you that kb guy from twitter?”

he’s like a deer in headlights. “…that depends. who’s askin’”

“name’s y/n” you giggle, “i know you cause i have a friend who’s nuts for you.”

you officially pique katsuki‘s interest. his eyebrow rises as he smirks, “oh, is she?” he tilts his head to the side, “what about you, sweets? you watch me too?”

shyly, you nod. his smirk gets bigger as he steps closer, “she here? i don’t really do pictures, though.”

“do you do videos?”

liquid courage. it would cost you a lot to even say that sober, and you blame your drunken state for your boldness. katsuki bakugo has that fiery look in his eye as he laughs. “sure i do, sweets. you wanna be the first model for my page or is it just to spite yer friend?”

first?

only model is your goal. you’re determined to make that happen.

“bathroom? in 5?”

“ya got it, captain.”