#I’ll make it through. I always do | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blurglesmurfklaine · 5 months ago

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and if I moved back to my hometown????

#I’d have friends there #and a guaranteed career #and family #like why am I doing this to myself #living in San Antonio four hours away from where I grew up #am I even ‘successful’??#am I even happy??#do I even have a sense of who the fuck I am?#I’m hating my twenties so far #I am legit so lonely all the time #and so god damn broke #and just so fucked up yk???#also don’t worry about me I’m just being dramatic and using tumblr as my diary #it’s all fine #it’s all gonna work out #I’ll make it through. I always do #(until I don’t ig)

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fishyartist · 8 months ago

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Ui idea tests, thrown together bc im eepy. Was planning on doing more but I spent all my days energy on the second one oops

#Danny phantom #I need to draw more or I’ll die <- guy who’s meds exhaust them #writing is so hard how do u not make everyone sound like you through a bad filter #Ik that’s unavoidable in some ways (like how art style will always look like u did it+not someone else)#but ugh. I’ll figure it out eventually takes practice+learning+all that #was planning on writing today but then I though ‘huh it might b fun to make some fake ‘’screenshot’’ concepts #also the portal basement has a more complex design but again #eepy #I think the gimmicky MySpace-inspired boxes r fun but idk how well I could keep that theme going w/ some characters #I also never used MySpace so that’s maybe just a kill issue #*skill lol #the command prompt one would basically just be for the portal #I keep saying that this project isn’t feasible buy my hyperfixated ass keeps trying anyways

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tabithatwo · 2 years ago

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(x)

(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)

#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz #no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird #like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE #showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops #to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like #also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer #but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon #like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol #but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this #HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS #juliette lewis #natalie scatorccio #yellowjackets

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rist-ix · 6 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭

Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3

#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho #if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate #which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons #which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside #because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits #if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon #(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for #1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom #2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her #3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting #where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs #they get IMPACT FRAMES #the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them #I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time #let’s go straight to Bloom #if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination #she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her #Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that #it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons #literally PERFECT foils #which always makes for the juiciest stories #4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode #5) she can literally feel his presence #6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix #of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship #all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!

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mars-ipan · 13 days ago

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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!

#marzi speaks #it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing #which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about #it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me #and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind #that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember #BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being #i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying #i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works #and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school #and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease #i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in #i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society #is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart #i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done #if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it #anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me #still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks

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the-casbah-way · 7 months ago

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i never ever cry in front of anyone ever but there was this boy i was OBSESSED with in primary school when i was like seven years old because he was the fastest boy in the class and he had cool spiky hair and i always thought it was a crush until i came out and realised it was gender envy of some form and today my friend out of the blue told me that i look like him and we looked at his instagram together and i actually do. i look almost exactly like him. and i cried like an absolute wanker because i’ve been so miserable my whole life being perceived entirely the wrong way and i went home today and looked at myself and realised i look like the boy i always wanted to be when i was a kid. and whenever i feel bad about myself i get to remind myself that i look like him so i shouldn’t feel bad because back then i couldn’t have ever dreamed of getting to look like this. and t will only make it better and even though the idea of starting it is still so scary to me i keep having moments like this that make me realise how good it’s going to be even if some of it will suck. i always focus on all of the ways my transition has gone and will go wrong and i forget that it’s going to go right in a lot of ways too

#i remember what this boy looked like when he started getting spots and what he sounded like when his voice started breaking #and it makes me so excited even for the parts of t that everyone says are ‘bad’#my identity is so much more binary than i tell myself it is. i play it down because being a fully binary Guy who wants to be purely masc is #a lot harder to break to my mother who is devastated even at the thought of me being a masculine woman #i’ve been pretending for a while that i’m more ‘in the middle’ than i really am because of that #but moments like this always remind me that i know exactly what i want to be and what i want to look like #and it’s the exact opposite of everything my mother wants me to be #this shit is going to be Hard. and i don’t expect my mother will stick around the further into my transition i get #which is so unbearable to me that i try not to think about it. i just can’t go back into the closet even for her #i was trying to force myself to do that before xmas and that’s what made me attempt and end up coming out to her #but i didn’t tell the full truth i just said i hate being feminine and i hate being a girl #i couldn’t bring myself to say the rest and i don’t know if i’ll ever say any of it to her #i wish i had a therapist so i could talk about all this as i’m working through the beginning of transition but. oh well

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oddtripps · 8 months ago

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“All nightmares start as dreams,

All love starts as a scheme,

. . .

So wake me up

I’m tired of sleeping ”

He’s so sad face emoji dreary face emoji wtf

I’ll update the punishland!au once I get another stupid baby puter because my old one was hanging on by a thread lmao.

Poor doods been through hell with this stupid little clump!!!!

Wants 2 go back home. :((

#dhmis #punishland!yellow my beloved #don’t hug me I’m scared #his tagged ear is because he was sold by Roy to Red + Bird #imagine your dad flat out selling you to a stranger cause you said I love you to his face #I’ll complain about tags all I want I h8 them homie!!#finally fixed my SD card but my DS is still poopy waaa #vomits lore about punishland in bit because I’m a fool and a clown and a jester #I’ll do it later MUM I’m BUSY being GAMER (( playing Pokemon go cause I love collecting doods. wtf. ))#anywy punishland!yellow can’t talk because his voice box was ripped out by Roy just before he was given to Redd #so he’s forever in a sad state of longing and silence teehee #he draw a bunch and it’s always pictures of his dad and clowns cause it’s the only thing that makes him happy #he keeps hope that one day Roy will by him back but 4 now he sits on his stupid little chair and draws and draws and draws #I LOVE PUTTING MY PUPPET SON THROUGH ANGST WAAAAA #Spotify

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doctorsiren · 10 months ago

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I can’t imagine the number of weird asks you get as a artist. As someone whos learning to draw i both admire and feel sorry for the sheer amount of drawing stuff you do/probably are asked to do. Your art is great, but i hope ur not burning out with all the good stuff you’ve been posting lately from asks n stuff

I have over 1000 asks in my inbox, and there are some weird ones for sure

When it comes to asks for me to draw things, it’s actually pretty nice because hey uh yeah free ideas! But also sometimes there is that pressure, but i’ve learned that hey I don’t need to answer every ask I get and I also don’t need to draw something for every ask y’know?

When I need something to draw to keep me busy for whatever reason, I can just look in my askbox and usually find something, so I’m always grateful for any asks that I get!

#doctorsiren #not art #siren speaks #I hope your art journey is going well!#and also tysm!#I don’t think I’ve experienced art burnout in a long time #sure I’ll get burnout for certain things like AUs or whatever #but with art itself I can’t #im always always always drawing #even when I got carpal tunnel near the end of the summer #I pushed through and got a brace so I could keep drawing #…even though drawing so much is what caused my carpal tunnel #I genuinely don’t know what people who aren’t artists do with their time #as in i can’t imagine what I would be doing if I wasn’t drawing or creating or making stuff #it’s just such a core part of my life and of who I am #lmao sorry I didn’t mean to get all deep in the tags there haah #anywaaaays

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itspileofgoodthings · 4 months ago

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okay not to be a walking cliche and I hate to validate overused jargon but I kinda had a self-care day today and refilled my cup and it really helped. 😭

#i didn’t think of it in those terms (which ALSO helped tbh.)#(because using that language and trying to match my very particular vibe to the recommended self care tips)#(frequently doesn’t work because I get frustrated when the thing makes me unhappier. as a lot of things do)#but I slept in. and then I went shopping alone (and found some nice things that cheered me up)#and I went and looked at the water. and I just didn’t talk to my family at all until the end of the day #and then it was just better and my heart was lighter #skkskskekkske who knew #counseling is helping tbh. slowly! but it is.#because it just cuts through a lot of the nonsense in my head and reminds me of very basic things #and so sometimes she’ll listen to me talk and she’ll be like ‘sounds like you’re not filling up your cup’#and I’m like: 😮😮😮😮😮😮#I’ll be like but I am untangling the lines of the universe and creating beautiful new patterns!#and she unimpressed will be like: but did you practice some self-care #anyway I am rambling. I DO struggle with/dislike the way the current culture uses words like this #because I think it adds to entitlement which ultimately makes us unhappier #but common sense has always been common sense and I do need someone to tell me that #when I have woven myself into an anxiety cocoon #which. happens naturally all the time. so.

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willowfey · 1 year ago

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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

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marimbles · 1 year ago

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the agony of enjoying MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE. How do people do it….

#part of me is like. ok is it actually the best move to just have separate sideblogs for every interest #cause I always feel weird and insecure abt being a multifandom blog. For some reason #I’m like aaa I’ll annoy people if I post things they’re not interested in! :( they’ll be disappointed in or frustrated in me!#and then the evil (read:normal) Kermit side of me is like girl it’s not that serious #you are not important enough for ppl to be worked up about your blogging habits lmao #if they’re annoyed they unfollow. swell. neato.#u can trust people to curate their own online experience. It’s not your job to post what they want you just do what you want. on ur own blog #do u follow #Sméagol me: yes ma’am #(I mentally switched to gollum instead of Kermit btw)#gollum me: it’s normal to like more than one thing. good even. and you will go through phases anyway #that’s life silly. You’ll have different moods at different times. and maybe completely different interests in the future #are you gonna make a new blog every time you enjoy something.#your interest are fluid but your identity is rooted in something beyond them. Right #you can just be a person who’s always changing but is also essentially the same. that’s humanity hun. do you understand #Sméagol me: yes #gollum: good #Sméagol: but also what if it’s hard to be friends with someone who has 3–4 interests #gollum: good grief

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bilestat · 5 months ago

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insane how quickly something small can tank my mood

#i am so tired of being cut off when i’m talking #esp when someone doesn’t even care enough to realize i was over halfway through a sentence #and doesn’t ask what i was saying #or when they just make it incredibly obvious they weren’t paying attention or outright don’t care what i’m talking about #even when i’m talking super excitedly #it makes me feel so fucking small and unimportant #like yeah i guess the shit i say doesn’t matter 99% of the time but it matters to ME #but it hurts so bad when i get cut off only for someone else to say stuff entirely unrelated #and to then just like. stream of consciousness ramble every thought that enters their head #like okay. cool. awesome. alright #my mom does that all the time i’ll be telling her something and then i’ll get cut off or she’ll wait til i’m done #to out of nowhere start telling me super in depth life histories of people she hasn’t seen since she was a child. or people i don’t know.#and it’ll always be so in depth about so many people idk OR so fucking vague i get confused as hell #in the typical boomer just needs to talk at someone or hear their own voice way (sorry ily mom)#and i know i can go on for ages about fandom shit that confuses her or she doesn’t know about but #idk. i do not have much else in my life right now. and i only have her and my sibling and very very few friends that aren’t online #and even irl friends i only see a couple times a year each if i’m lucky #i just hate my life lol and i need to stop before i spiral #i have already gone on long enough and will be embarrassed when i come back to delete this because honestly who gives a shit #i need to get over myself #to be deleted #personal

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roman-o-cheese · 9 days ago

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Happy “panic attack at the thought of doing anything” season guys!!!🎉🎉🎉

#time change hits and BOOM everything is paralyzing and terrifying!!#it’s so fun!!#I’ll make sure I don’t push people away this year #that’ll make things worse #but UUUUUGH OMFG #Annoying #i feel very useless whenever I’m like this #and i constantly seek validation to prove to myself something i don’t know #I think I’m trying to prove that even like this I’m not completely useless #that people care even when im this pathetic #it’s annoying because I only started to feel better in like August?#getting broken up with definitely didn’t help but I hope this feeling doesn’t last that long again #bc it drives me crazy #yap yappity yap #I am so annoying!!! why do people like me!!! why can’t I just be normal!!! I wish I could be useful!!!#no one should look up to me or admire me like they do #I’m barely holding myself together why do people think highly of me #im pretty pathetic #but it’s fine I’ll be okay #there are people who love me a lot #even if I tell myself they shouldn’t they will love me anyway #things will be okay again. I don’t need to be strong I just need to push through #maybe there’s strength in that or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better #i just don’t know what to do with myself when doing anything brings that horrible weight on my chest #but I’ll persist. I always do and I will do so again

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ranger-danger · 17 hours ago

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I adore urge X Shadowheart so much. They’re both amnesiacs, start evil but work their way through, both have very emotional and stressful shit going on, and their own gods be damned they see the good in one another. They are going to save each other.

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reporpoisedphantasies · 15 days ago

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.

#vent tag #alright I don’t know why I’m venting on main but if I keep screaming into the void I’ll only fuel my self destructiveness #this is kinda hard to read so uh warnings ahead #tw sh related #so um. I broke the promise I made to myself at 12 #I cut all over my wrists. I’ve been cutting for years but told myself I’d never reach the wrists because that would’ve been my breaking poi #well.#I’ve reached it.#I’ve reached the breaking point #I keep pushing through doing everything that’s asked of me and not complaining z #with a smile. because better times are coming and I am the change I need #yadda yadda #try to stay positive because my life can be so great #but then I stay home.#with the source of all of my negativity.#and refuse to elaborate on it to my loved ones. because i already do it too much #and so many things happen to every single one of my friends all the time. so I have no right to talk #because it’s too much. and it only makes people feel all too bad for comfort #but I’m tired.#so much happens to me all the time too #even if it’s not as apparent as it can be #so I cut. and I keep stewing in my self hatred. and I keep shouldering what my parents tell me.#my father has been making it Very hard for me lately. he’s almost always the reason I cut these days #of course it’s not only him but that’s not the point #I keep hurting myself over and over because I can’t keep it together anymore #but I have to. my parents need me #my friends need me #I need myself to do the things I have to do #….friends now.#I have almost nobody.

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leafiion · 7 months ago

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geara I have feelings for you. most of them are incomprehensible though

#Been thinking about him while I write. Most nonbinary transgender cis gay homophobic emo twink man ever made #‘geara no you can’t reclaim that’ ‘YES I CAN’ type shit #I think he can cook. idk why but it came to me in a vision. it’s actually pretty good but he point blank refuses to do it for anyone else #but he WILL get pissy if you imply he can’t. he’ll get so mad. you think he can’t do this menial yet important task? fuck you ->#he’s going to make The best food ever n you get to have NONE of it you can just sit there and be sad and pathetic.#anyway I hate geara (has been thinking abt him 4 ever)#I hope you enjoy ponytail geara. bc I’m quite frankly obsessed. always in the mood to give characters I like longer hair and ponytails #I’d give him glasses too if I think he’d wear them but fuck no he would not. he’d suffer through being BLIND just to not look like a nerd #if he had to choose between dying on the spot and looking stupid he’d pull the trigger #I hate him. if m2 kills him I’ll be sooo sad

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