#and even irl friends i only see a couple times a year each if i’m lucky

[bilestat]

insane how quickly something small can tank my mood

[greengoblinswifey]

Hello,

I was wondering if you write for Cooper Koch? If so, whatever makes you comfortable if you wanna write it or not. It's up to you. My dear, the request I had was that the reader and Cooper had a night one stand and couple weeks later. The reader felt sick and took a test and was pregnant. The reader decided to keep the baby. It was couple months later. Cooper and reader met up while filming and saw the baby was shock and surprised. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

A Piece of You— Cooper Koch x Actress!Reader

summary— after a passionate night with your best friend Cooper Koch, you discover weeks later that you’re pregnant—only to also learn he’s in a new relationship with a man. realizing he’s gay, you decide to keep the baby a secret, as you navigate single motherhood and your career.

warnings— drunk sex, unprotected sex, creampie, praise kink, cock warming, slight angst, pregnancy, fluff.

a/n— i hope you enjoy and remember this is all fantasy, i know cooper is gay irl so i tried to incorporate that while also crafting a good fic <3

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿

The car was dimly lit as you and Cooper sat in the backseat, laughter bubbling between you. The high of finishing the season and the buzz from pre-gaming combined to make everything feel lighter.

“I’m really going to miss you,” you admitted, your voice carrying a trace of sadness. “A whole year and add apart until we see each other to film again feels too long.”

Cooper turned toward you, his smile soft but teasing. “You’re saying that like we won’t ever talk. We’ve got phones, you know.”

You laughed, but the humor didn’t fully reach your eyes. “It’s not the same. Working together every day—it’s different.”

As the conversation lulled, the air between you thickened. The closeness of the car, the shared warmth, and the unspoken tension that had been brewing for months finally snapped. Without thinking, you leaned closer. He met you halfway.

The kiss was sudden, hungry, and all-consuming, pulling the two of you into a world of your own. Your hands tangled in his hair, his fingers gripping your waist as if to anchor himself. It wasn’t until the driver cleared his throat softly that you broke apart, breaths uneven.

Cooper’s expression was a mixture of surprise and uncertainty, mirroring your own. “That— that, was unexpected,” he said quietly, his voice laced with disbelief.

Before either of you could say more, the car came to a stop. The driver opened the door, and without thinking, Cooper reached for your hand. You let him, the connection feeling natural despite the chaos swirling in your mind.

The party was a blur of lights and music. You drifted between conversations with castmates, but your eyes always found their way back to him. He was the same—chatting and laughing, yet his gaze would lock on yours across the room.

Eventually, you found yourselves together again, the bass of the music through the floor as you danced close. His hand rested on your waist, yours around his neck. Your bodies moved in sync, the space between you almost nonexistent.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere. “Even I can admit that.”

You raised an eyebrow, both amused and confused. “Even you?”

He chuckled, brushing the comment aside as his hand tightened slightly on your waist.

The night wore on, and after another round of drinks, you leaned in, your lips brushing his ear. “Let’s get out of here.”

The car ride back was even more intense. As soon as the door shut, you closed the distance between you. His hands found their way to your hips, pulling you closer as the kisses deepened.

“Can I—” he started to ask, his voice unsteady.

You guided his hand, placing it where you wanted. “You don’t have to ask.”

When you arrived at the hotel, the sexual tension was at an all time high. The key card fumbled in Cooper’s hands as you pressed against him, your lips trailing from his neck to his jawline. The door finally swung open, and you stumbled inside together, shedding your clothes as you went.

But just as things escalated, Cooper paused. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his eyes searching yours.

You cupped his face, steadying him. “Yes, Cooper. I want this. Do you?”

He nodded, the hesitance melting away as he kissed you again, softer this time but no less passionate.

The room was dimly lit, shadows dancing across the walls as you fell back into the bed, the weight of him following. His hands slid down your sides, gripping your hips as he positioned his thick, hard cock at your wet pussy. You were soaked for him, foreplay be damned, you were both too drunk for that anyway.

“You're so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and husky, as if the words were meant only for the two of you in this moment.

He entered your slick pussy easily, the need and intensity making every movement feel like a race. You gasped, clutching at his shoulders.

“You're so tight,” he whispered, the awe in his voice clear. “And so wet—God, you feel incredible, I’ve never felt something like this before.”

You arched beneath him, your nails grazing his back as a moan slipped from your lips. “You feel so good,” you managed, your voice trembling. "You're gonna make me—”

Before you could finish, the pleasure burst, the alcohol in your system amplifying every sensation. Your pussy tightened around him as you cried out, his name a broken whisper on your lips.

He groaned, his pace quickening as he chased his own orgasm. His hands gripped your thighs, pulling them higher around his waist, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “I can't—“ he stammered, his voice thick with desperation.

“Do it” you urged, your legs locking around him. “I want you to.”

With a final, shuddering gasp, he came deep inside you, his movements slowing as he rode out the waves of his climax. His body trembled against yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved, the only sound in the room your mingled breathing.

He collapsed beside you, half-draped over your body, his cock still buried deep, his head resting on your chest. Your legs remained tangled, the warmth and buzz of the moment lulling you both into a hazy sleep, his hand brushing over your side.

But by morning, the weight of reality settled in. You woke to find Cooper beside you, still asleep, his arm draped over your waist. Slipping out of bed quietly, finally getting his cock out of you, you dressed, leaving a note that read: Last night was unexpected, but I don’t regret it. Let’s keep in touch. I’ll miss you.

When he woke abruptly, the two of you shared an awkward but warm goodbye. “It was really good,” you admitted, unable to meet his eyes.

“Yeah,” he agreed, then laughed softly. “But maybe it’s best we don’t talk about it again.”

You kissed each other and left, thinking that would be the end of it.

Weeks later, you started feeling off—nausea, fatigue, and an unshakable sense that something was wrong. At first, you brushed it off, but when you barely made it through an audition without running to the bathroom to throw up, you finally went to the doctor.

The news hit you like a freight train, you were pregnant.

Your hands trembled as you stared at the ultrasound. One thought consumed you—Cooper.

You went home, intending to call him, but as you opened your phone, a headline stopped you cold. There he was, smiling alongside a man, the caption reading: Cooper Koch Debuts New Boyfriend in Heartwarming Instagram Post.

Your heart sank. It all made sense now—his comment at the party, the hesitance in his compliments. He was gay.

The timing was almost cruel. How could you disrupt his life with this? How could you risk complicating his journey of self-discovery and love?

Tears pricked your eyes, but you quickly composed yourself. This was his truth, and you wouldn’t complicate it. You decided then and there not to tell him about the baby.

You were a young black actress still establishing yourself in a tough industry. How would this impact your career? How would people perceive you? And most pressingly, How could you do this alone?

But when you thought about the alternative, your resolve hardened. This baby was yours, and you’d find a way.

That night, you made a decision. You deactivated all your personal social media accounts, leaving only the professional ones managed by your team. You told only your family and a few very close friends about the pregnancy, carefully keeping the father's identity a secret. It was safer that way—for you, for your reputation, and for Cooper.

So, you kept quiet. You endured the milestones in relative solitude, finding solace in the support of your parents and the friends who stood by you without question.

Months later, you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The moment you saw him, tears streamed down your face—he looked exactly like Cooper. Those curls, his eyes, even the shape of his nose were a perfect replica.

“Maybe this is the universe punishing me for keeping him a secret from the dad,” you joked weakly to your mom, though the thought lingered in your mind.

You threw yourself into motherhood, dedicating every ounce of your being to raising your son. You didn’t share his name or pictures with the world, protecting him fiercely from prying eyes. Each day brought new challenges, but also new joys, as you adjusted to life as a mother.

By the time filming for the second season of your show resumed, your son was just a few months old and it had been a year since you saw or spoke to Cooper. You had negotiated arrangements with the studio, including on-set childcare, but returning to the spotlight filled you with anxiety. No one on the cast or crew even knew you’d been pregnant, let alone had a child.

On your first day back, the reactions were a mix of shock and joy. “You had a baby?” your co-star gushed. “Congratulations! Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It was private,” you replied with a smile, dodging questions with practiced ease.

But you couldn’t avoid him.

Across the set, Cooper froze when he saw you with the baby. His face went pale, his jaw slack. Slowly, he approached, his eyes fixed on the little boy in your arms.

“Is he—?” Cooper’s voice cracked.

You swallowed hard, your throat tight. “Yes. He’s yours.”

Cooper’s expression shifted from shock to disbelief, then to something unreadable. “W-why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice trembling.

You sighed, glancing around to make sure no one else could hear. “I saw the headlines. The day I found out I was pregnant and was about you call you, you announced your relationship. I didn’t want to ruin that for you, or—complicate things.”

“Complicate things?” he repeated, his voice tinged with frustration. “I missed everything—the kicks, the milestones, his birth. You should’ve given me the choice.”

“I know,” you admitted, tears threatening to fall. “But I thought I was doing the right thing—for you, for him, for everyone, I didn’t want anyone questioning your choices or invalidating you.” You sighed before continuing, “You were always with me in a way, I carry a piece of you. He’s so much like you, Cooper.”

Cooper’s gaze softened as he looked at his son. “What’s his name?” he asked quietly.

You told him, watching as he repeated it under his breath, a small, awed smile tugging at his lips.

“He looks just like me and his name is a nice mix of ours,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah, he does.”

Cooper reached out, and you carefully handed him the baby. He held his son as if he were made of glass, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Hey, buddy,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Daddy’s here. I’m so sorry I wasn’t before, but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Your own tears fell freely as you watched them. “You can be part of his life,” you said softly. “I want you to be.”

“Thank you,” Cooper said, his gratitude palpable. “For him, and for this chance.”

“I missed you,” he added quietly, “our friendship, our times on set.”

“I missed you too,” you admitted. “But I guess I never really lost you,” gesturing to your baby in his arms.

In that moment, as Cooper cradled his son, you felt a small weight lift from your heart. The path ahead wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time, you weren’t walking it alone.

[starglitterz]

♡ ROMEO & CINDERELLA.

❝ hey, pretty stranger, i think you look cute! can i get your number? i wanna know you. // cute encounters with genshin guys on the bus.  ❞

✧ feat ; childe, heizou, xiao x gn!reader ✧ warning(s) ; childe’s can be viewed as platonic ✧ a/n ; so i think the bus at my university is like. a meet-cute spot for me or something HAHAHA here are a couple of drabbles based on my irl experiences <3 ! shout out to my one irl that has to listen to me being delusional all the time LOL ur a real one (she’s never going to see this). also the title has no relation to the fic at all sorry i just could not think of a title for the life of me so i just went with a random vocaloid song JDSJDJS ok bye i hope u enjoy this!!

please reblog w tags + leave comments ! it rlly makes my day :)

✦ CHILDE. [ tartaglia ]

“childe? is that you?” you grin, leaning over the back of your seat as you realise who’s sitting behind you, “i didn’t know you take the bus back too!” his face cracks into a wide beam upon noticing you, “y/n! hi! i do sometimes when i’m too tired to walk.” and just like that, the two of you start talking excitedly – you’re classmates, though you aren’t too close you both still consider each other friends, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to instead of staring out the window at the rain with your earphones plugged in to pretend you’re in a music video. 

somehow, the conversation turns to birthdays, and as childe asks when yours is, you smirk, “it’s today!” you swear his blue eyes open so big you’re worried they might just tumble out of his head as he gasps, “what?! today?! so you’re turning a year older today?!” “yeah!” you nod, giggling at his exaggerated reaction. “nah, you’ve got to come here so i can wish you properly,” he shakes his head seriously, and you tilt your head in confusion, “there’s someone sitting beside you already though…”

you shouldn’t have doubted the one and only tartaglia for even a moment, because the next second, he turns to the man beside him with zero hesitation and gives them the most blinding persuasive smile ever, “hey! would you mind switching seats with my friend over there? it’s their birthday, and i really want to wish them!” “childe!” you scold, heat rushing to your face at his casual confession to this total stranger, “stop disturbing random people!” “but it’s your birthday!” he replies innocently, ocean eyes gleaming aquamarine. the man beside him seems a little confused by childe’s demeanour, but he’s probably more scared of what his reaction would be if he said no, so he nods, “sure, i guess…” and as the bus rattles along its familiar route, you switch places with the stranger, profuse thanks spilling from your lips before you fix childe with a scolding gaze. 

“hey, it worked!” he raises his hands in surrender, only to quickly grasp yours and shake it heartily, “happy birthday, comrade!” you laugh, shaking your head, “you’re so silly. thank you, childe.” you both hide your chuckles as you joke about the poor guy that had to switch with you, and you tease and banter with each other all the way to the train station.

✦ SHIKANOIN HEIZOU. [ analytical harmony ]

it has been a long day. not necessarily bad, but one of those days where the universe seems to be conspiring against you to make every small thing go wrong enough to get on your nerves. right now, you’re at your wits end as you stumble onto the bus, sending the bus driver a sheepish smile when your card only buzzes on the third tap. your eyes scan the interior – almost all of the seats are occupied, and your friend has skipped ahead to sit with someone else she knows. 

but your gaze stops short on a maroon-haired guy looking out the window, and with an internal cheer you realise that the seat next to him is empty and quickly slide into it. now that you’re closer, you notice that he’s actually quite handsome; all fluffy maroon hair and forest green eyes with a few moles dotted across his pale skin. you’re so busy staring that you don’t realise he’s trying to tell you something until he clears his throat. “y-yeah?!” you stutter in surprise at his sudden attempt at conversation. that was a dumb reply. now you’re staring at him with wide eyes as he softly asks, “um, is that your wallet?”

you look at the floor where he’s pointing, only to realise with horror: that is your wallet! “oh… hahaha, that is mine. thank you,” you’re ninety percent sure you are giving off the worst first impression of all time with your stupid responses. it’s almost like you’ve never spoken to another human being in your life. and what’s with your outfit?! of course the one day you don’t dress up is the day you end up sitting next to the world’s cutest stranger. as you bend down to pick up your wallet, you silently curse your unlucky stars. you dropped your purse in front of a cute guy! can this day get any worse?! 

famous last words.

because two seconds later, you’re trying to sit up straight again, and you hit your head on the hard back of the seat in front of yours. even worse, you groan loudly, “ow!” “holy archons… are you okay?” the stranger beside you gasps, although as you rub your head and look at them, it’s pretty obvious that they’re trying to hold back laughter. you’re torn between laughing or crying your eyes out, but the humour of the absolutely idiotic situation you’re in kicks in and you end up giggling even as you’re wincing in pain, “i’m fine, thank you… i promise i’m not usually this clumsy.” “really?” he quirks an eyebrow with a teasing smile, “could’ve fooled me.” “hey!” you pout, folding your arms across your chest in playful offence, “i know i might have just made the worst first impression ever, but i swear i’m a lot cooler!” “i’ll be the judge of that,” his gaze softens and he tilts his head, “i’m heizou, by the way.” “i’m y/n! let’s restart this whole thing – it’s nice to meet you!”

luckily for you, the bus is stuck in traffic, and the two of you end up talking about everything under the sun on the long journey to the train station. you aren’t certain if he’s convinced that you’re cool yet, but you’ll definitely keep working on it – even if it’s only to see the way his cute dimples appear whenever his features crease into a smile at your jokes. 

✦ XIAO. [ vigilant yaksha ]

it’s been a tiring day of an exhausting course. but at the very least, you’ve got your new friend to complain to as the two of you wait for the bus. “you know, i was so glad you asked me to join your group!” you grin at xiao, adjusting your tote bag. “it’s no big deal… you were alone, so i thought you could join us,” he gives you a soft smile, jade streaks of hair framing his face as they peek out from under his dark cap. “yeah, but still! it’s so difficult to make friends when the classes are so huge, so it was really nice of you.” “that’s true. you’re the first person i’m talking to outside class,” he nods in agreement. his casual statement makes you remember that you’re a professional yapper and you panic, “oh! by the way, if i’m talking too much, just tell me to shut up! i talk a lot, so that’s totally fine.” he chuckles, and his response makes a happy smile grace your lips, “no, it’s okay. i prefer listening, so it’s fine if you talk a lot.” so talk is what you do until the bus finally rumbles into the bus stop. 

the constant bumping of the bus on the rough roads combined with the soothing noise of the rain tapping against the window makes you drowsy, and you turn to xiao, “if i fall asleep before we reach the train station, you better wake me up, okay? don’t abandon me on the bus and just go home!” the corner of his lips quirk up into what might be a teasing smile, “no promises.” but when he sees your distraught expression, he reassures you, “just kidding. i’ll wake you up.” “okay…” you mumble a response, and within a few seconds, you’re asleep, head lolling forward as the bus continues along. you don’t usually fall asleep on public transport, far too worried that you’ll miss your stop and end up on the other end of teyvat, but with xiao beside you, you’ve got nothing to worry about, right?

you’re in the middle of a very nice dream when you hear xiao’s soft voice calling you, “y/n?” and his tone is so gentle, like he didn’t want to startle you, that it almost makes your heart beat right out of your chest. you stretch a little, eyes flickering open before sliding shut again, “mmm…” “we’re almost there,” he murmurs. and there it is again, that soft, gentle voice that you swear sounds like honey. you’re almost going to pass out, and definitely not from sleepiness. “okay… i’m awake.” you manage a smile, and he tilts his head almost worriedly, “don’t fall asleep on the train.” “i won’t!” you grin widely as you hop off the bus, hoping that shows how you’re 100% awake right now, and he smiles, “okay then, i’ll see you tomorrow.” 

bahaha these are very messy but i just needed to get these out of my system before i went insane i think i should take the bus more often 😋 also yes these are all 100% experienced by yours truly and have not even been exaggerated for the sake of this fic // general masterlist

© starglitterz 2024. do not repost or modify in any way - reblog and leave comments if you enjoyed !

[v3nusxsky]

GIRLIE I FORGOT THE PW TO MY ACC, but i’m back now lmao!

if you’re still taking requests - can i request a fic with em? where you and her are besties, yk the usu; but you’re absolutely in love with her, and you’re low key unsure she feels the same way (or if that she even likes women too) so you don’t tell her<3 until like, some angsty ass shit happens which makes you confess.

- 🐦

(i fell in love with my irl bsf, this req is basically self-indulgent lmao)

Oblivious

*Authors note ~ girlie your back filling my inbox with genius prompts once more. Another daily gift from me to you all and Emily’s first time appearing this month. Once again sorry it took me so long to get to these guys! I hope you’re enjoying the event this time! Feel free to let me know what you would wanna see*

Trigger warnings~ reader is a hopeless lesbian🫢best friends < lovers usual criminal minds shenanigans love confession

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Emily Prentiss. Need I say more? The woman was practically a goddess wearing a badge and gun holstered to her hip. All while being effortlessly breathtaking. Yet she’s more than looks. Your best friend, co worker and teammate. Yet something simmered in your heart for her, to be more than those. It started subtly, being invited on girls nights after joining the team, to sending each other book recommendations and bonding over common interests. You and Emily were close, there’s no denying that. Yet you couldn’t tell her you wanted to be more than friends. Hell you didn’t even know if she was gay. Sure there were certain vibes that made you think possibly, maybe but then you saw they the unsubs flirted with her at work and it was like a weight crushing you. Maybe she wasn’t gay. Maybe she was? Either way you were too afraid to ruin what you had already by asking the question.

This recent case was hitting too close to home for you. Women couples being lured by the individual and brutally murdered just for being gay and the recent victims happened to have some of your characteristics. It’s a scary feeling, to know people out there would harm you just because of what your heart wants. Reminding you of your teen age years spent terrifed of anyone at school finding out. The disgust that flickered in your own mother’s eyes the night she found out who you really are.

Emily quickly sensed your distress on the case and quickly became your anchor, guiding you through the darkness just as you did for her when cases got tough. But a few days in with little to no leads on the case was wearing on your nerves and everyone could tell. You just wanted to go to Emily’s place, sit on her sofa and drink wine with her as she fusses over Sergio. Home. Your happy place seemed so far away these days and although Emily was here you couldn’t help but yearn for more. Seeing her near enough all day every day just wasn’t enough when there is an invisible divide between you both.

In the rough moments you couldn’t help but crave her hand in yours, arms wrapped around each other as you sought comfort from her or even the gentle way she’d kiss away your falling tears. You knew Emily was an attentive lover because of her past, you would remain jealous of everyone who had the pleasure to feel her love yet couldn’t muster the courage to even find out if she would be with a woman. To see if you had a chance. Roll the dice and see what it lands on, you would be hers or she wouldn’t want you. And the latter terrifies you. “We need to send you in” rang through your mind. You. Into the unsubs den. Alone? Fuck. “It’s the only way we can lure him out to take him down. We will have a few of us right there in the room with you.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be in there waiting to take him out the moment he gets close enough.” Emily. Emily was going to be there? It was bad enough to put yourself into this situation but now Emily would run the risk of danger too. Obviously danger comes with the job, it’s what you both signed up for but if something was to end wrong? It couldn’t be her who ended up hurt. That’s what made you agree as well as knowing this creep wouldn’t harm anyone else after tonight they’d be safely locked up.

From there it’s all happened so fast, you dolled up wishing it was for just a date with Emily rather than to capture this criminal. The bass seeped into your bones as you entered the club, the dim flashing lights only adding to the atmosphere. The bar was where you first headed, immediately checking your environment where you noted Derek in one corner, JJ blending in with the crowds who were body to body blissfully unaware of what was occurring but no Emily. After a sip of Dutch courage you caught his attention instantly as you flirted with the bartender. She sorta looked like Emily, the dark hair and dark eyes were what drew you to her.

It all happened so fast, one minute you are at the bar next thing you know there’s a hand on the small of your back guiding you out the back entrance of the club. Screaming was no use especially when you felt the tip of a blade in your side, waiting for the time to enter. Wearing heels was a poor choice as he threw you to the filthy ground, spewing hate at you as a justification for his next action. It was all so quick as you instinctively went to protect yourself and escape only to be caught with his hand in your hair and thrown back with a grunt of pain. Pain was radiating from head to toe but your adrenaline was stronger for the time being. You could hear your teams footsteps getting louder as the closed in and clearly so could he.

The knife that was slammed into your abdomen was messy and uncomfortable. Due to the interruption his usual precise cuts were all gone. Instead leaving behind a jagged cut that had blood seeping all over your dress and staining the cold cobbles you lay on. “Stay where you are!” Arron commanded as Emily rushed to your side. “Hey, hey. It’s em. Y/n it’s your Emily can you look at me sweetheart?” Even bleeding to your death her voice is angelic causing you to obey her. Your eyes flickered to her dark ones holding unshed tears as her hands put pressure around the knife. Pulling it out seemed too risky but the way you sobbed at her actions caused guilt to course through her. “Shush sweetheart, I’m sorry I have to do this, just lay still for me okay? Where’s that fuckin medic?”

Your eyes flickered open to florescent lights as you groaned in pain, the heart monitor steadily beat beside you. “You need to tell her em-“ your groan startled the blonde causing her and Emily to shift their gaze to you. “Welcome back” JJ murmured to you causing you to smirk back at her, “can’t get rid of me that easily Jay” each word sounded strained and Emily felt her heart break with each sound. It’s truly unfair how many times each member of the team has been in a hospital bed while the others worried if they’d pull through so after a reassuring pat to Emily’s shoulder and an air kiss blown to you the blonde left to inform everyone you were now awake.

“Emily” you started only to be shut up as she moved to press her lips to yours. Nothing sweet or gentle about this, it’s raw and intimate. “I almost lost you” she mumbled against your lips before stealing another kiss, “and never would’ve been able to do that. I can’t wait anymore sweet girl life’s too short.”

“Am I dreaming? Or have they put me on the good shit?” You muttered dumbly, left finger tips touching your freshly kissed lips as Emily chuckled at your reaction. “No dream but you are on some pretty good meds right now sweetheart however, that was real. I want to be with you, more than friends, and nearly losing you made me realise I can’t wait forever to tell you. I understand if you don’t feel the same. We can forget it ever happened but I need you to know.”

“You. Want. Me?” Your confusion was evident. She wanted you like you wanted her? No way. You had to have died right? “ I want you y/n. And I think you want me? J has been saying you do but why would you want me? So I waited to see if you’d say anything and you never did. I figured friends were better than nothing…” you let a pained chuckle loose at her words. “Kiss me again” you whispered to the brunette as she moved away from you in fear she’d ruined something here.

Heaven. Her lips on yours. A little moan escaped you, could it be pain or desire? You weren’t sure you cared with her this close. “I want you too Emily prentiss. I should get stabbed more often if you keep kissing me like this.” It was then that the team decided to make their entrance. Emily leaning over the hospital bed, lips glued to yours as the team muttered a chorus of cheers and “about damn time.”

Word count~ 1450

[lowkeyrobin]

Hii do you have like general dating headcanons for Quackity?? And like man idk I’m just starved of Quackity contend (especially in the xreader scene)

sure yeah! ; hope you don't mind that I use the same format for this on everyone I do cause it makes my life easier but... ; but yeah that's understandable, mcyt aren't really a "hit topic" atm and I've definitely seen a decrease for mcyt requests, quackity specifically lol ; thank you for requesting! hope you enjoy :)

QUACKITY ; dating shenanigans

summary ; general dating shit w alex

warnings ; language

word count ; 360

masterlist

you both indulge in each other's hobbies regularly

and there's a lot of cooking for each other

you both gift give a lot too

there's very little hate given from your audiences, they absolutely love ur relationship 💔

soooooo many edits omg

it's either yeat or some cute ass love song

it's not a complete week if you don't try something new

whether it's trying new food, picking up slash trying a new hobby, trying to DIY something, etc

you both have troll Facebook accounts and love streaming together while doing shit on them

you met through a mini minecraft comp hosted by a mutual friend

basically mcc but not really

like hypixel w ppl you know and open vc

and you hit it off well

a million build battles later, you'd developed a little crush on each other

you spent more time together after that, streaming, even just playing games together off camera

ppl began editing you two a lot, your best / cutest moments etc

you moved in together after a couple years bc you'd both benefit from it and trusted each other enough

so you delivered a LOT of irl streams

you were the first to confess

you took him on a little road trip to see a waterfall

and you could walk underneath it

you made it into a vlog

and while you were walking underneath, you turned to him, the camera resting in your hand at your side and just said it

"Alex, I like you"

he was honestly speechless at first

queue cute waterfall kiss

he's like a 3/10 on pda

he'll give you little kisses and hold ur hand but he's a private guy

he's also not that jealous

like 2/10

he couldn't care less, cause he trusts you and will mostly only step in to back you up

he physically can't go from a 0-10 unless it's serious

and finally, songs that kinda fit the vibe

12 notes ; alec benjamin

somewhere in my heart ; aztec camera

orange show speedway ; lizzy mcalpine

light it up ; luke bryan

detour ; maren morris

him ; tokio hotel

when we were younger ; tokio hotel

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - THERE IS SO MUCH ON RIGHT NOW, it's crazy-making!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

July 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 10 of 12 - I am with Dee, noodles do solve everything. The brothers were SO GOOD together. I’m getting to really love a back drop in BL, it’s like the mic drop of gay boys smooching. This is such a good show. I had a big grin on my face while also crying a bit. Everything I want from a BL is happening right here, in front of my eyes.

Did they gloss over the trauma a bit? Yes. Do I care? No. I don't like dwelling in trauma in general, mine, friends, online, or in my BL.

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) ep 2 of 12 - All Thai mafia is gay… again. Yes, it’s still great. No, I have no idea why they’re dropping so many eps at once. That’s not normal for a Thai drama. But I’m not gonna complain except there’s a lot on right now. I like the side couple too. I also like Frank’s poor little rich kid side dish action. I mean, Meen is an ult for me, but Frank is giving excellent second lead syndrome. Suspiciously aggressive and a touch stalker, but I don’t mind a boy that sus if he that cute. And of course, with the mafia involved there is kidnapping.

Look, is this the best show currently airing? No. Which is why it slid a little in the standings. But that's only because Wandee hit it out of the park this week. Frankly, this may not be the best BL airing right now, but it’s the best BL for me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - That oppa bit was fucking genius. (You get it right? If you don't, I can explain.) And I immediately adore the secretary character as a result (I typed that as "reslut" and that works too.) Pleased to have such a "rich man and his spoiled boy" dynamic it going already. A dynamic I am personally IRL familiar with from the 90s. Also, kiddies stop filming adults at play! Sheesh.

I pretty much love all the couples in this show. It’s lots of fun. SamYo’s cat and mouse thing is delightful. Meanwhile, the mains are so sweetly hesitant about kisses and everything (hilarious coming from this pair). I love them and their awkward first time, or whatever is going on.

Do you know what? After that "oppa" comment this lead pair makes me feel a little bit like I’m watching a gay K-drama, similar style of personalities and everything, even the random martial arts ability. And the outing. I'm getting Business Proposal vibes. Nothing wrong with that, I was weaned on K-dramas.

All in all, great episode.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Yet again I spent the entire episode saying "poor Joe" over and over again. This time I didn’t cry though.

The pat way to end this is to have Joe walk through that door and then wake up back when he was about to get into the motorcycle accident. So that none of it ever happened. I suppose we’ll see what they do next week but I hope it isn’t that.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 14 of 16 - Do you know what this friendship group reminds me of the most? The old Love Sick music club boys. This is just the college version... 10 years later. (Love Sick was one of the few shows where I mostly didn’t yell “no singing” at the screen (also Ingredients). In my defense, I didn’t know any better back then.)

As boyfriends, PhumPeem are even more puppy/cat paring. And I am even more delighted by it. And them. In fact, this show is ALL puppy/cat pairings. I’m not mad about it.

"I’m hugging you so you won’t feel hungry" is the weirdest pick up ever. But Phum is weird. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 8 - The PittBabe team behind a new restaurant set BL full of hidden agendas and starring my new favorites SailubPon. I’m reminded so much right off the bat of PokeTongue’s side dish couple in What’s Zabb Man. Interesting, considering that came from Pon’s former studio. Love the call out of obnoxious content creators (not to mention corporate property developers). I like the chef character, he’s nicely complex. In fact, so far I like most of the characters, it’s a good range of different personality types. The plot is a little contrived and complicated but I don’t mind because the characters are such fun.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - Reported on this last week already but here's what I said:

Gun still looks like he’s just out of high school. Madness.

The set for the print shop reminds me of Mork’s dad’s place in ‘Cause He’s My Boy? I swear GMMTV has only 3 sets.

I wasn't looking forward to this show at all. Maybe I just needed more of a break from OffGun? Cooking Crush happened yesterday.

Whatever, because I was absolutely riveted by this first episode.

I’m enjoying The Trainee a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It's not higher up just because there is so much good content from Thailand airing right now.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - Still a chaos muffin no matter which country. So earnest. So cute. Talking stage commence!!!

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I got so bored I started looking up ways to organize my sunglasses. Trash watch here.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 6-7 of 12 - The exes are odd. I like that Latte finally got some backstory.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) Ep 2 of 10 - I’m still enjoying this quite a bit. It’s paralleling the manga quite closely, which is nice. But it’s not gonna be a particularly exciting drama if this continues. The manga is rather quiet (pun intended to amuse not insult).

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Look, if some kid followed me to college and changed the whole course of his life because I was nice about his dead bird? I'd be skeeved as fuck too. It's odd and uncomfortable, in that way Japan loves. Visuals are on point but can't say I'm enjoying it as yet. Still, it is JBL, and so I am intrigued and open to all possibilities.

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down once it ends?

In case you missed it

Blue Boys finished it run. I like it quite a bit. This felt a lot like a Strongberry short series. It’s very curtailed and could’ve used some legs but I've been trained into ignoring that for Korean BL. Short has always been their thing. Essentially, two boys who were acquaintances in high school are reunited and it turns out always had crushes on each other. It’s definitely an extrovert meets introvert scenario, and this being Korea, they can’t resist a tiny love triangle in the eleventh hour. But it all came out fine in the end. It has great kisses and higher heat than is normal from Korea. All in all, a surprisingly charming offering. Recommended with some reservations around the brevity of plot and character development. 8/10 

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution. I demand you tell me the moment you find it!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

July Releases to Come

7/10 Century of Love (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - trailer here, DaouOffroad are back, this time as fated mates in a quasi historical paranormal moment. San has spent many lifetimes waiting for his lost beloved, to reincarnate from her death a century ago. But if he fails to find her within this century's time window, he will succumb to a tragic death. And this time she's a boy. Very much Director Who Buys Me Dinner meets First Love Again, hopefully better than both. I love this pair and think they can handle the premise, it's whether the storytelling is up to the challenge. I'm curious to see but I have reservations.

7/24 I Saw You in My Dream (Thai Weds WeTV) - Dee Hup is behind this one so I have high hopes. Younger boy chronically teased his whole life by the older boy next door suddenly starts having horrific prophetic dreams about his bully and must save hime.

7/26 4 Minutes (Thai Netflix or iQIYI?) - Great is a university student from Faculty of Business and the son of a wealthy business owner. Out of the blue, he gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future.

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: that premise! Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Product placement du jour! Also the only product placed in a BL that I regularly enjoy myself.

Yes I cried. I'm a sap.

The faens in the wive's positions! So cute.

All Wandee

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

[ratinacoat]

Sorry for this (maybe?) weird ask but. Google is not helping.

I broke some dissociation, so it’s not long (less than 3 or so hours now, averaging around 10-20 minutes). But now it’s just. Random.

I used tk be able to ‘sense’ when I was gonna float, but now it’s like I blink and the shadows are different.

Any advice? No pressure to answer, eventually I will figure it out I’m sure. It’s just bothering me.

I'm sorry to get to this so late, if you've been seeing my recent posts you'll know why. I wasn't ignoring this, just unable to respond for a bit.

This is something I can't help you fix but it's somethings I can give tips on because I understand the struggle.

Identifying triggers

This is tough but can help a lot. Try to see if you can pick up on things that have been going around when the dissociation starts. Personally, I have used a journal to log everything that happened or is happening in the moment for a while, and as I continue to write in it I look everything over and see if there are any consistencies.

Here's an example: (This is a trigger I can list because it's only an irl thing, do not list your triggers online.)

In my journal from a couple years ago I would write in it when dissociated. I wrote down where I was, people I was around, things I could see, what had been happening, etc. Over time there was a very clear consistency in each entry. I was always in a place with my dad or something that reminded me of him. Think a smell, an object, a place I associated with him. This helped me to know which things I needed to avoid or when I needed to prepare myself to be in that situation.

If there's been a change in environment or schedule it's possible that there could be something in said change that is causing you to dissociate more than before. This is a common reason I notice in people an myself. Identifying the reason you're dissociating so much is a great way to help it.

Grounding techniques

Which grounding techniques work vary from person to person. There are a lot of different things you can do and you should look into them and try different things. I'm going to name ones that seem to help a lot of people I know and me personally. Grounding helps you reconnect with your surroundings, emotions, and yourself as dissociation is the disconnect from all of that.

Engaging with your surroundings is a good way to help with this. Some people use the 5, 4, 3, 2 ,1 method. Point out 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This is good for the anxiety you may be feeling as well even if it doesn't fix dissociation. I also like to touch things around me. I'll run my hands under water, touch whatever items I'm near (table, wall, grass, etc), or I'll use a sensory toy (definitely recommend carrying these around) and focus on the texture of that. It helps to realize that you're here in the moment, your surroundings are real, and feel more present/alive.

Sometimes dissociation can make details about things hard to remember. Try reminding yourself who you are, what day/year/month it is, what the weather is, who you're with, etc. This is another good way to ease the anxiety and be more present in the moment.

There are other grounding techniques but the premise of most is to help reconnect yourself with your surroundings. Finding different ways to do this can help lessen or stop dissociation before it gets to a severe point. If you have friends wo experience dissociation I'd recommend asking them for their personal techniques as well. If you have a therapist they will absolutely be able to help you find what works best for you too and you should definitely bring this up with them.

I hope things turn around for you anon. You're not alone in this and there will be something out there that helps you, even if it's not in this post. <3

[maladaptivewriting]

On scale from 1 to 10 how would you rate these ships and why:

James/Regulus/Barty/Evan

Lily/Barty/Evan

Narcissa/Lily

James/Regulus/Sirius/Remus

Bellatrix/Rita/Ms.Zabini (I don't think she had a name in canon, tell me if I'm wrong)

Draco/a dragon (you keep mentioning this one fic, you asked for it)

James/Barty

Lily/Pandora/Mary

Mary/Marlene/Dorcas

Lucius/Snape (this ship used to constantly haunt me a few years ago)

wow what a fun ask.

okay i want to preface this by saying that i’m not really into poly ships, but im going to make an exception for this and try to be fair.

1. james/regulus/barty/evan: 5/10

i could this happening like one time as a fun anniversary gift for one of the couples, but i could never see the four of them in an actual relationship.

2. lily/barty/evan: 7/10

i like this to the extent that it is far superior to jegulily which is absolutely despise. i can see barty and evan as people who might have a looser definition of relationships and jealous than james or regulus so rosekiller with lily could be really fun. lily seems soft enough to dull some of their edges. plus the fanart is hot

3. narcissa/lily: 9/10

there is a lot of potential here, especially for angst purposes, but i think this ship would work best in like a bdsm fic/setting. like narcissa is older than lily and she’s definitely the most put together of all the malfoys so i could see her domming lily and i love that for them.

4. james/regulus/sirius/remus: 7/10

putting aside the incest for a second. i could see this happening like once or twice. however i think regulus and sirius are both extremely possessive and jealous people, remus and james too but not to the same extent, so i dont think they would like to share. however i think the possessiveness could be hot depending on how it’s used.

5. bellatrix/rita/mrs. zabini: 3/10

the thing about mrs. zabini is that i just don’t think she likes being tied down and i can’t see her enjoying it with two partners. i like quillkiller but mrs. zabini throws a wrench in things.

6. draco/dragon: 9/10

i have read all the fics with this tag, however i think charlie/dragon works better. but the best option imo is like draco/dragon animagus. so like a drarry fic where harry is a dragon animagus? that would be 10/10

7. james/barty: 3/10

i feel indifferent to this ship, but i don’t think it would work out. one of my closest friends irl is so barty core and i think a james person would piss her the fuck off, they would never work

8. lily/pandora/mary: 6/10

i think there is potential here for something soft and sweet but i would only read this ship if one of them was evil and out to hurt the other two.

9. mary/marlene/dorcas: 1/10

i just cannot see marlene with mary like at all. i actually don’t even think these two would be friends post hogwarts based on their personalities. i think they would seriously annoy each other

10. lucius/snape: 8/10

again so much angst potential. i’ve read this ship a few times, it used to pop a lot as a background ship so i would often see it, and i feel like it can work but there has to be discussions about power dynamics here for it to read well. i prefer snape with a non-magical oc personally

you didn’t ask for full explanations but you’re getting them anyway

[rodolfoparras]

Sorry if I’m spamming you. My hyperfixation on Price is strong rn, and I have no one irl to talk to him about (although I may have convinced one friend to be on the Price hype train)

Anyways, the way you ended the outdoor date kinda sparked something in my mind.

So after the lovely time of fucking cuddling in the woods, y’all wake up the next morning, hella hungover, but the memories of last night are very clear. You knew you were gonna have a hangover so you made sure to pack some medicine. Y’all drive back to base after packing up everything from last night. You both take the rest of the day off and relax in your quarters. But the next day is when the fun begins.

You guys clean up and decide to get breakfast in the mess hall. Y’all sit with the rest of the 141, and them and a bunch of other soldiers are snickering. You finally look at Price and realize what they are laughing about. Price’s neck has a couple pretty obvious hickies on it.

Idk where to take it but I think it’s a little funny if the others see their mighty captain covered in marks from his sergeant

-🤠

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT SPAMMING PLS genuinely feel free to send in price thoughts I love love love listening to them 🥹

When price wakes up he feels on top of the world, a smile already tugging on his lips when he sees you sleeping next to him,!he feels happy content his heart full, for many years he’d pinned for his best friend and hed finally gotten him, he cuddles closer into your arms slings his own arm around your waist head buried in your neck his smile only growing when he feels you tighten your hold on him

He accidentally dozes off again but when he wakes up he’s met with your smiling face gentle fingers carding through his hair and hoarse voice greeting him good morning he manages a croaked morning in response heat creeping up his cheeks when he feels just how soar his throat is as if you already know what he’s thinking you smirk at him and he playfully slaps you in response

You spend a couple more minutes of making out whispering I love you’s and holding each other tightly when the two of you get back on base everyone can see something has changed usually you’re glued at the hip but now it seems like you can’t part from price, if you’re eating at the mess hall you’ve got an arm slung around his shoulder if you’re at practice with the boys you’re standing awfully close to each other whispering something inaudible and laughing, someone even stumbled onto the two of you sharing a cigar at night while standing awfully close to each other

But the worst is when price shows up to a meeting thinking he’s done a good job at covering the marks on him only for soap to playfully point out a spot on his neck something that earns him a glare from the older man as heat creeps up his face

You don’t say anything but it doesn’t take much to figure that you’re the cause for it especially when you’re smiling down at the plate in front of you

[britcision]

I had the funniest fucking dream and also I am now mid-sad

So my sister and I, we do not get along irl; never did as kids, everyone said “oh you’ll be best friends once you’re grown up”, we do not speak to each other even both at the same family dinner

(This is not what the sad is for it’s stage setting)

So I dreamed we were setting up her wedding (and true to life, I did not like her, but I was helping out and doing my best) and one of the tasks involved in this planning was going to dinner in a restaurant

(I am immunocompromised, this has happened to me twice in five years and only with precautions)

I was not allowed precautions

But a couple tables away were two large tables fucking DROWNING in large and noisy men

And for some reason I immediately recognised these loud and noisy men; they were my brothers, and we were angels - not as in good things, as in Supernatural style bullshit, and I’d skipped out right at the beginning and none of them saw me since

Note: human family not aware of any of this

And I knew they’d all be super happy to see me, and know I was okay, and if it was all of them at once they’d probably try and make me come back with them

But you know what else?

One on one I could probably get them to do anything I wanted cuz they missed me

(This has never been a lived experience this is the sad)

So I waited til one got up, wandered past and asked if we could chat while the others were busy arguing, and we snuck off outside

And he kept trying to drag me back but I just kept walking towards the church and told him if he went back for the others he’d only lose track of me so he folded and we just kept hanging out and chatting

And so as to avoid detection and comment, he disguised himself as a decorative backdrop I was carrying around to set up

And that was working great, we chatted a lot about the family and getting home and I had to explain how weddings work

And the ceremony started and everything was EXTREMELY physically all over the place so I got the brother to make a flashlight for me that we pretended was part of the backdrop and I had to “focus” it to keep the light big and illuminating my sister as we chased her around

(This took the form of poking and muttering at said brother to stop being a little bitch and pretending I was adjusting a lens)

And then it was time to go find my Nana and set up to record sister leaving the church with her spouse

So I casually abandoned backdrop-brother somewhere and went back to the restaurant to steal another one

(I think one of the others clocked me while I was kidnapping)

And again we got outside and we were chatting and he was asking what I’d done all this time and I couldn’t stop giggling as I told him what I’d done with backdrop-brother

(Sister had now picked him up and was carrying him around and having a lovely time)

And asked other brother to help me find my human grandmother

And he was helping, and then we witnessed Drama. Because we saw my Nana, and we saw the groom’s dad deliberately redirect her away from the doors

And obviously I was ECSTATIC, now it’s a wedding there is WEDDING DRAMA

(Pretty sure father-of-the-groom was actually disinvited from the real wedding or nearly disinvited for cheating so it tracks)

And I was explaining the concept of wedding drama to my other brother while we hunted down Nana aaaaand contemplating rescuing backdrop-brother from my sister

And then the rest of the angel siblings caught up and kept trying to sweep me away, but now there was Wedding Drama and we were Intrinsically Involved so we couldn’t leave and I just kept the walk-purposefully-so-you-look-like-you-belong hack going

And we got through the wedding, got all of the shots, eventually rescued backdrop-brother and brought him somewhere he could get out of disguise, and generally had a lovely time

And then I woke up and I didn’t wanna but I’m not allowed to go back to sleep cuz I have already had so much and I’m not allowed more, says my brain

(i was asleep for about 3 hours)

And I’ve just. Never had anyone miss me to the point where I could lead them on a crazy adventure and they’d just go with it

I do semi-regularly grab people and go on crazy adventures, don’t get me wrong, but that’s because they also want crazy adventures, not just because they loved me

And it was nice having siblings who cared and wanted me around

[lovesick-boyz]

hi.

well… after being stalked and harassed for the past couple of months, i am finally back!! stay tuned lol i got some fics lined up for y’all 😁

anyway if you read that first line and thought to yourself “WTF?!?”, here is the full story for my curious readers (just a warning, it’s long and i rant a lot):

a couple of months ago, i started getting tagged by random accs on tiktok and insta that posted vids accusing me of the most random and heinous shit. honestly, it just baffled me the first time i saw them bc they made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

when the first ones popped up, i just blocked them thinking it was a random troll and went on with my life.

but then i kept getting spammed by other accs with new posts where they not only involved me but also my friends, and accused us as a friend group of being horrible ppl.

i had enough (i can’t even remember how many accs i blocked) and deleted ALL my social media apps for a while (i.e. more than a couple of months, oops) and basically isolated myself from ppl so that i could focus on other things to distract me (i ended up making daily exercise a habit so ig that’s one good thing that’s come out of this lol, i also rewatched all the marvel movies in timeline order hehe). i wish i continued writing so i could’ve at least had more content to share by now, but i was feeling so negative and pissed that i couldn’t even bring myself to write anything (i even uninstalled notion from my phone and that’s where i keep all my drafts and fic ideas)

i only found out the full situation less than a week ago when i reinstalled tiktok bc i missed it, only to find more burner accs harassing me. i finally had enough so i reinstalled insta to rant about it on my spam acc for my friends to see and to my surprise a couple of them knew who it was and explained the whole situation to me.

it was my first time interacting with ppl outside of my family in months lol, when i tell y’all i isolated myself i really did mean it 🙃 my irl friends didn’t even know anything out of the ordinary was happening bc i’m notorious in my friend group for going off the grid for months at a time bc of how bad my mental health gets sometimes, they know to just let me be and let me deal with it alone bc they understand that’s how i work best. (they won’t see this bc they don’t know this tumblr exists but i wanna apologise to my dear friends for my disappearing acts, my bad, i love y’all for being so understanding and still being my friend after all this time 🫶🏼)

anyway, it turns out the culprit was this guy that my friend had rejected previously and he’s so bitter and hateful that he decided to harass me bc he knew i was one of her bffs (the ppl he targeted were the ones in her closest friend group which included me)

but here’s the kicker: I’VE ONLY TALKED TO THIS GUY TWICE!! AND EACH TIME WE TALKED FOR LESS THAN 5 MINS ABOUT IRRELEVANT SHIT!!! WHY AM I INVOLVED?? YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

when my friend found out she was so surprised and appalled that he was harassing me too, bc him, my friend, and the other ppl he targeted all go to the same college together (and i’m the only one in the friend group that goes to a different college, so to reiterate once again: this guy barely knows me! the last time we spoke was at my friends bday party 3 years ago!! he’s literally insane!)

she knew he was harassing my other friends since they’re all in the same school and know him in person, she didn’t think i would be involved too and i couldn’t believe i was.

anyway, i just wanted to rant about this whole thing bc i’m having a hard time processing it tbh. i hope that guy rots in hell and also finds a job there bc he was acting hella unemployed like who has time for this? he made me feel so confused and paranoid for weeks and i hope he gets all the karma he deserves in the universe.

y’all wanna know something funny tho? i started writing a changmin stalker fic in june, way before this whole situation happened. life imitates art ig 🤪 anyway i finally finished it and i’m gonna release that fic next after i fine tune it, at least now it’ll be somewhat realistic lmaoooo

[flowercrown-bard]

thank you for the tag, @lokibus💕

Name: Riya (i also went by Valentine for a while with some friends and i really like that name but no one calls me that anymore)

Sign: taurus

Time: 20:46

Last movie: uhh good question. I started watching Pride and Prejudice (2005) yesterday and got distracted after 5 min by remembering that apparently jeans were worn in that time period already and then i had to google some stuff. The last movie i remember watching in full was Barbie at the cinema where i can't just gez distracted and turn the movie off lmao

Last show: season 2 of atla but in a language i don't speak bc that was the only version i found on YouTube (I own the dvds but i dont have a way to use them with my laptop)

When I created this blog: idk. I think the year before Covid? Or maybe shortly before it? What even is time

Other blogs: i got two. One i only used for a secret santa thingy so i won't reveal it in case i need a secret santa blog again. And then there is @brotfrevel. I created that blog when i was very deep into my ed and not comfortable with talking about it where people i know irl might see. I had this little project where each day that i resisted my i healthy habits, i added one element to an embroidery project (I'm happy to announce that I got much much better and the result of this silly little project is now a constanz reminder of that on my wall)

Do I get asks/may you ask me something: i love getting asks! (I've just been really inactive lately so if i didn't answer, I'm sorry. I've literally not been on tumblr for more thwn like five minutes in the last month or so)

Average hours of sleep: something between 5-7 hours i think. I tend to wake up at 1:30 am and then I'm unable to fall back asleep for a while and then i wake up again at around 3:40. So no idea how much sleep i actually get

Instruments: singing, guitar and violin. And technically i have my grandpa's old mandolin and know enough chords to play a couple of songs but the stings haven't been replaced in over 40 years and it's horribly out of tune so i don't play

What I’m wearing: yellow turtleneck sweater (an old one from my sister), an ugly but super comfy jacket (i think it's an old one from my other sister), jeans, pink socks with bees and I'm also gonna count the comfy blanket I'm wrapped into

Dream job: i meany I'd love to publish a book one day and have at least one person buy it but that's pretty unrealistic. So I'll go with being a kindergarten teacher

Tagging (no pressure): @combatbootsfemme @parttime-creative @dhwty-writes @mondglocke @lycanbucky @rebard-main

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Hey if you wanna do the thing too, here goes:

❤️🧡🤍🩷💜A WLW ASK MEME❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 List the top 10 ladies you’ve been obsessed with Ever Of All Time! Then send this on to 5 sapphic mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

I VERY MUCH want to do the thing, thank you!!!

This list is not gonna be in a preference order because if I tried to do that I wouldn't ever stop crying. Also I have been documentedly obsessive about IRL women hello Mackenzie Davis I am free on Thursday but to avoid sounding creepy this list will be composed of fictional characters. I burst into tears writing every single entry on here because I am so normal about women lol.

tl;dr here is the list:

Laura Kinney (Marvel Comics)

Princess Amelia "Mia" Mignonette Thermopolis Grimaldi Renaldo (The Princess Diaries)

Elizabeth Swann-Turner King of Pirates (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13)

Bennett Halverson (Dollhouse)

Daisy "Skye" Johnson (Agents of SHIELD)

Natasha Romanov (Marvel Comics / Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Rogue (X-Men / Marvel Comics)

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb series)

Cinderpelt (Warriors)

with honorable mentions to Cameron Howe (Halt and Catch Fire) and Amelia Pond (Doctor Who) because there simply was not enough room!

Laura Kinney (Marvel Comics) - I started reading superhero comics at 16, when a friend at school gave me access to her collection. I have also, since I was too young to articulate it, been drawn to stories about "human weapons," particularly women. (Literally only a couple of years ago it occurred to me that perhaps growing up in fundiegelical culture, which is prone to calling its congregants "warriors for Christ" and using a lot of rhetoric about "God's soldiers," might have had an influence on this preference! I May Be Stupid etc.) Laura Kinney is the female clone of Wolverine, but she has two claws on each hand and a foot claw (yes it’s the kid in Logan, though they changed some stupid shit in that version). I first met her at 16, randomly picking up X-23: Innocence Lost at a Borders one evening and immediately being sucked into the story of a teenager who knows nothing but violence, except for the sole person who sees her as human (Sarah, her surrogate mother). Laura’s comic backstory is fucked-up in a way Marvel really leaned into with their 00s characters - she was forced to slaughter her own mother! then she was a victim of child sex trafficking! then she tried to have a normal life but her past came back to haunt her and she was forced to leave behind everyone she loved to keep them safe! - and I don’t think most of it holds up great, except for Target X which is cute because she and her cousin skip school and steal a car to be normal kids for a day. Anyway! I loved her immediately because in my teen brain, this character was one I could truly read EVERYTHING about, and ever since she has been my daughter. Marjorie Liu wrote an amazing series for her in 2011-12 which had her become Gambit’s little sister and Jubilee’s girlfriend bff, and Liu is to this day the writer I have seen do the most interesting stuff with her. She at one point was using Wolverine as a code name and she got a little sister, Gabby, and that was also good. Anyway, she’s the ur-example of “child weapon learns how to be a person” and also she’s angry and sad and doing her best and I love her the most.

Princess Amelia "Mia" Mignonette Thermopolis Grimaldi Renaldo (The Princess Diaries) - While I very much enjoy and am fond of the films, my Mia Thermopolis is the one in the book series. I first read these at 13, and immediately I recognized Mia as a kindred spirit. Mia in the books is riddled with anxiety and self-doubt, prone to people-pleasing but will push back if she reaches her limits, passionate and loyal to sometimes self-sabotaging degrees, and a connoisseur of pop culture. Every time I open a Princess Diaries book, I feel like I’m hanging out with my best friend, and to me she is. A dream of mine is to make a character that feels as real and dear to readers as Mia feels to me. I am not and never have been great at doing “girl” (hi, butch), but Mia was and is a glimpse into a world that I always felt on the outside of. The books are certainly not perfect but I will never get tired of hanging out with Mia.

Elizabeth Swann-Turner King of Pirates (Pirates of the Caribbean) - I got into these movies kind of late, just before the third one came out, but Pirates was one of the most significant fandoms I have ever been in. It taught me about meta, how to analyze subtext, and how to multiship. Elizabeth was a big part of that, being a cool bitch who got to fight and did not take shit from anyone and was also part of a ship full of Yearning. I used to think I had a crush on Will and that’s why I was so into the ship but…no it was Elizabeth. I wanted to be in Will’s place so I could kiss Elizabeth! She’s smart and capable and passionate, and when you’re 16 that corset line sounds really cool, sorry. And she’s the Pirate King and gets a badass rallying speech. Also she gets to wear a sick pirate coat in At World’s End, which is less questionable for me, a Chinese person, to be wearing, and my mother-in-law made a dream come true and made it for me. As far as I’m concerned she was only stationed on that island for as long as it took for baby Liam to be transportable, and then she put him in a sling and ran around being a fucking awesome pirate king again. (Movie 5 does not exist to me, nor does “Henry,” his name is Liam, thank you for understanding.)

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13) - I actually did NOT start watching this show for the gay content, I started because one of my college roommates/best friends was enjoying it and we both found it deeply charming. I actually thought Claudia was going to be my favorite, but Myka quickly took that spot in my heart. I found her deeply relatable, as someone who tends to keep myself pretty emotionally distant until I trust someone, and as a fellow Bad at Being a Girl sufferer. Myka starts the show wary of everyone, but wanting to do her best, and she slowly begins to let her new team in and start to trust them. One of my favorite Myka things is how well she knows herself and what she wants. And of course there's the HG of it all - her insistence on saving and trusting HG even after she betrayed them the first time is so indicative of how much she wants to believe in people. I really hate what this show did to her by the end, because to me it was devastating to watch this incredible, self-assured woman turn into somebody who apparently had feelings for her self-admitted brother figure and whose entire arc was about that now?? It sucked!! But anyway, that's not what I think of when I think of Myka. I think of her hitting Pete with a snowball and then doing a little hop of joy.

Bennett Halverson (Dollhouse) - Bennett is the reason I met my wife, and she is also played by Summer Glau, who I rarely post about anymore but who is involved in multiple shows that are part of my heart, so Bennett had to go on this list. She was one of the most significant characters that fell into my "angry and sad" women niche, as her whole thing is that she's out for revenge against the girl who broke her heart. AND YES SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH CAROLINE I HAVE RECEIPTS. (god this essay is TWELVE years old?? nobody @ me if it's bad) I love Bennett because she's me, or at least, a really stark portrait of the kind of person I could have become in a similar situation. Bennett feels like an outcast and Caroline seems to be the first person who ever showed her positive attention, to a degree that clearly turned romantic on Bennett's side. She's also devoted to Caroline to a degree that is objectively unhealthy ("You're not pissed because I used you?" "I'm hurt that you wont") and her memories of Caroline leaving her are colored by her misunderstanding of why she did it; Caroline was trying to protect her and take the fall for what happened, but Bennett didn't see it that way at all. I am very...dramatic...in my head and 1000% I would've been like that in a similar situation. It's really good B and I met each other and are obsessed with each other exactly the same amount because we would be terrible partners for anybody else. Anyway, Bennett's fucked up and I love her so much and Bennett/Caroline is why I'm like this now.

Daisy "Skye" Johnson (Agents of SHIELD) - If I were pressed to pick one favorite character, period, it would almost certainly be Daisy. SHIELD and I have had a special relationship from the moment it was first announced; if you look I still have a few posts tagged "s.h.i.e.l.d." and a minor regret of my life is that I was too late to get into the pilot screening at SDCC '13. Anyway, similarly to Myka, Daisy wasn't my immediate pic for favorite, but she quickly became my favorite, especially when I found out Chloe Bennet is also a "Chinese dad white mom" girl like me. I called it from the first character bio that she would be divisive, and she was, because fandom is horrible, but to me she is the best character. I wrote an entire essay about how much it means to me that she's biracial, even if I do not love the Inhumans stuff necessarily. But I remember spending the first season and a half desperately wishing for her to be biracial, and then she was! And she's also so funny and brave and kind and angry and sad and good above all else, she does her best to be a good person. I recognize a lot of my worst tendencies in some of hers; B and I joke that sometimes I will "drive off in emotional van" when I try to shut down and process big shit by myself. But I also relate to her in a lot of positive ways as well: we're both deeply loyal, passionate and hopeful. When they teased someone being killed off in the s3 finale, I literally had a panic attack the morning of the finale at the thought of losing her. When the show finally ended, I was happy she survived and even happier that they had her reconcile with her mom and her surprise sister, and now she and Kora and Danny are hanging out in space and sometimes Daisy goes home to hang out with her girlfriend Jemma. If she never comes back in MCU canon, I'll take that ending for her.

Natasha Romanov (Marvel Comics / Marvel Cinematic Universe) - WELL SPEAKING OF CHARACTERS WHO GOT FUCKED OVER LOL. Never mind the Scarlett Johansson of it all, I love Natasha with a tenacity approaching lunacy. (Not as much as my friend Amy, because Nat is her most special blorbo, but almost that much, I think!) Once again: Natasha is a living weapon character who is emotionally closed off and snarky and also very angry and sad, and also she was one of like 3 women in the MCU in the beginning so of course I became obsessed with her. Her comic counterpart is a little different, of course, but the same notes are there, and once again Marjorie Liu wrote the best arc for her (The Name of the Rose, which deals with themes of motherhood and infertility way better than some films I could name). Some of my love for her is me truly putting my hard-earned fandom analysis skills to work with the pittance of canon information I have to work with, and some of it is the five months I spent writing an AU where she didn't die in Endgame and also she and Laura Barton were polyamorous that whole time. (I did a lot of sobbing in the car when I found out about her death, and I'm resolved to never watch Endgame again.) That fic is my tribute to her, so I guess if you want to know all my feelings, go read it.

Rogue (X-Men / Marvel Comics) - Rogue was the X-Men character I imprinted on when I watched the movies at 16 (hey is that a pattern I see here?) because she was sad and emo and, although I didn't know it at the time, I wanted to kiss it better. I affectionately refer to Anna Paquin Rogue as "Diet Coke Rogue" because she's a very bad interpretation of the character, but also I love her. My favorite version of Rogue is actually in the X-Men: Evolution cartoon, where they made her an angry and sad goth (again: pattern) but with her usual reserve and level of sass. But I love every version of her, and I can't wait to watch the new cartoon because I have been sorely lacking in Rogue lately and I miss her. If I can't pick Laura, Rogue is my favorite X-Men character always and forever. Also, I felt so strongly about her and Gambit that I made a 40-part powerpoint presentation to explain their love story to B, while I was on a road trip with my family. This was one of our notable courtship gifts because she had also imprinted on Diet Coke Rogue and I needed her to understand how epic Rogue and Gambit's relationship is. Someday we will cosplay as them.

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb series) - The newest entry, but she made it on here by dint of being, well, so intensely relatable. I too am an awkward butch with a praise kink raised in a weird dead-end religion who falls to pieces in the presence of a pretty girl, whose brain is completely full of jokes and memes to cover up my various damages, and who is so bad at expressing my feelings to the object of my affection that I spent literal years pining after them only to do something exceedingly reckless to try and prove my love (I did not kill myself so they could use my corpse, but it was equally stupid and dramatic, and I have a 1/2 success rate - one of them was a guy, long story). Gideon Nav is Weird Girl turned up to 1000 and I love her for it. I am very short and chubby and not at all muscly, but I love cosplaying as her because in our souls we are the same. If we never see her again I will not recover.

Cinderpelt (Warriors) - I am genuinely not sure if I've ever explained Cinderpelt on this blog, so here's a quick summary: Cinderpelt is the first apprentice of the POV character Fireheart, and quickly endears herself to everyone by being enthusiastic and clever. She wants to be the best warrior ever. As an apprentice, she is hit by a car and survives, but her leg is injured severely enough that she is unable to continue warrior training, so she pivots to becoming a medicine cat. (Yes, Warriors is very ableist and this is not even in the top 5 worst examples.) We don't get a ton of insight from Cinderpelt on her thoughts about this until she's a bit older, but basically she determines that she will ensure the Clan is protected and cared for just as valiantly as she would have as a warrior. She becomes one of Fireheart/star's closest friends, and a constant source of comfort and wisdom throughout the first two series. Somewhere in there, I decided she was my favorite character. Enter series 2 book 5, Twilight (I am almost 15 when it comes out), which features a climactic battle as badgers invade the ThunderClan camp while Cinderpelt's best friend Sorreltail goes into labor. The way I remember it is Cinderpelt kicking absolute ass to protect her friend and maybe killing at least one badger, but I think I may have edited this to be more epic in my mind. ANYWAY she dies from her wounds and I cry for like an hour. In the next book, it is revealed that StarClan (cat heaven) thought Cinderpelt was so cool that they wanted her to have a second chance, and she got reincarnated as Cinderkit. I think this is maybe where the mythology really went off the rails objectively, but you won't convince me it was anything but beautiful. Now she lives as Cinderheart, who had her own journey through rehabilitating an injury but has become a badass and respected warrior herself. (There is also some bullshit about Cinderpelt having been in love with Fireheart lalalala I do not care she is a cool bitch and more than her relationships!)

[tickle-her-senseless]

Hi, I have a question where do you typically me some lees

Hiya. The first couple of people I played with approached me here on Tumblr. It’s happened once or twice since then, but I was never the one to suggest playing IRL. It’s also happened a couple of times on Fetlife, but nowadays I’m on a brilliant Discord server that’s become the main social hub for the UK tickle community. That’s been brilliant, honestly. By the time I meet anyone from there, we’ve already spent months playing games, hanging in voice calls, laughing at memes and connecting over shared interests that we’re good friends before we even get the chance to play. It’s only with the Discord crew that I’ve ever felt comfortable enough to be the one suggesting a session, and that’s because I know them well enough by then to be virtually certain that they’ll say yes.

I’d always recommend socialising and becoming friends first - and genuinely so. Some people seem to drop into lees’ inboxes with a polite greeting and air of “oh I’m not like those other lers” but the whole time they’re trying to judge how much small talk they need to play along with before they can force the conversation around to tickling. “What do you mean you won’t send feet pics?! I just talked to you about college and your cat for an hour!” I think they’re actually worse than the “hI cUtIe, ArE tHoSe FeEt TiCkLiSh?” brigade, since they possess the patience to waste an evening of someone’s life before revealing themselves to be huge disappointments.

I’m not trying to be sanctimonious or make out that I’m morally above thinking “Man, I wish I could meet a lee to play with” where the lee is just a nondescript cute ticklish woman in my mind - I’ve definitely been there in the past. It’s just that years of experience have shown me that it’s far better when you know the person pretty well first. No awkwardness or unpleasant surprises, a pre-existing banter dynamic, and the session will be infinitely better as you’ll be in sync and bouncing off each other. When I meet one of my lee friends, I look forward to tickling them to both our hearts’ content, of course, but also catching up with their news, eating together (maybe cooking together as a way to chill after the session), watching Netflix, whatever. Most of the times I see them, we don’t even play. In a couple of weeks I’m going to see a friend from the scene in the Midlands and we’re literally just going to grab lunch, play mini golf and hang out at Geek Retreat playing games, no tickling at all - I’m really looking forward to it!

Hope that’s useful anyway. Discord has been the way to go, for sure, and there are plenty of tickling servers out there. I was hoping to meet people to play with and ended up with a healthy social life for the first time ever 😊

[princessg3rard]

alright gather round moots, followers, and generally curious weirdos (affectionate) !! the long awaited princess lore 101 post is here !! <3

general fun facts

- I do everything in slutty gogo heels, including climbing the Eiffel Tower, doing prides, running, and presenting research papers <3

- the slutty gogos and a mini skirt (plus the word slay) have become my signature thing, and to this day people around me call those boots by my irl name

- I made countless people question their sexuality, even getting nominated as “couple of the year” with 2 of them (one of which i technically made cheat on her bf but like we were drunk and high as shit and I kinda forgot he was a thing (until I saw him in my dorm not 2 days later))

- I have very intense hyperfixiations that lead to very intense phases :3 my family still shudders in horror just hearing the name Percy Jackson :,)

- got my first head injury and first stitches at 3yo :)) they had to untangle so much blood from my curls it took like an hour and a half until they could actually stitch me lol

- all throughout hs people were convinced I was fucking one of my best friends which was funny as balls when u remember I’m a lesbian and he is gayer than a pile of bricks :) we did like to add fuel to the fire tho, posting each other in dresses and stuff like that (he was even my date to 12th grade formal and he wore my wedding dress from the year prior) so maybe it’s partially our fault too :3

the time I burned off my arms and got sick ass scars

so imagine me, little mx. violent fag, finishing my first matriculation exam in hebrew lang. me and my friends play a couple violent rounds of jungle speed before me and bestie have to run off to help the club. the activity is making small benches out of old tires and concrete, easy right ?? well, the supervising councillor tells us to just mix the cement by hand bc he forgot to get us gloves, so not really. it’s really fucking fun, we’re having a great time mixing and listening to music and chatting, but my arms start to fucking burn like crazy after a while. I ask the club president next to me and she says she feels that too, and it’s probs nothing, so we carry on.

at about the half hour mark, it gets a bit too much to me so I go and make a little round to my dorm, just to wash my hands a bit bc they’re feeling just a TAD too warm for summer. while I wash my hands, I realise that not only was it not nothing, it was chemical burns. from a bit above my elbow all the way down to my fingers, my hands were red and stinging and (gore warning !!) I could see my flesh thru the holes.

so I go down to councillors room and tell them I think I might be having an allergic reaction (it looked like hives for most of my hands) bc like omg I can’t tell them my arms are burning. anywho, me and the shinshinit tom get a ride to the clinic, where they drown my arms in rubbing alcohol and bandage me and send me on my merry way. I did have to actually go to hospital later bc of my arms, but didn’t stay long and my arms fully recovered just in time for my arabic final.

I still have pretty cool scars where the holes were, and I can write semi-ok (albeit with a slight tremor) :) another boy from my megama (major) got injured around that time (broke his leg) so it seemed like we were cursed for a slight bit there lol :3

the time I lost my appendix in a hockey match

this one is from Hanukkah of 6th grade. I played roller hockey for 3 years at that point, as wild dykey offence, and we were going to a tournament up north. the day before that, I have my last appendix checkup and get told I’m alright and can totes go on the tournament - but that night, I start having cramps. thinking nothing of it, I tell myself it’s stress and go to sleep.

once we arrive to the tournament, I start feeling it again, but stronger. I shake it off and go on to play, but it gets worse the longer I play, and I find myself on the floor after a stray disk hits my stomach. I get up and ask to take a break, and ask the mum that came with us to call my mum bc I think my appendix is acting up again. she laughs and shakes her head, telling me I’m making a fuss over nothing and that I’ve probably gotten my period - which I absolutely didn’t.

I keep telling her it’s urgent, that it happened before and this time I could find myself either on an operating table or in a morgue (yes I was an over dramatic little shit but it was actually true), so could she PLEASE just tell my mum to come pick me up ?? I get another annoyed no, one after the other. I try to go up on the rink again, but have to take a time out again after a couple minutes bc I feel like my insides are on fire. after a while, she gets my coach to give me the most patronising period talk ever, where he talks to me like a toddler and ignores that I’m in borderline debilitating pain. the thing is, I don’t show pain well, and most people can’t tell I’m in pain unless I’m like dying or crying (which doesn’t happen often), so they keep brushing me off.

I get tired of the gaslighting and call my mum up myself. she comes rushing in, curses at the “responsible” adults, and takes me to hospital no questions asked, and I find myself appendix-less not 3hr after I was told off by the angry mum and my coach. it almost burst, and I had to do emergency surgery and stay in hospital for 3 weeks. oh well at least I got an ipad and a cool scar out of it lol :3