#and even irl friends i only see a couple times a year each if i’m lucky

[bilestat]

insane how quickly something small can tank my mood

[pinksturniolo]

Biggest Hater - Part Two

Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader

Part 2 of 2

Alternate version of my Chris fic: Biggest Fan

Requested by the baddest! @muwapsturniolo

Summary: You just don’t get the hype of the Sturniolo Triplets like almost every girl your age does. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that you went to high school with them and Matt Sturniolo particularly, got on your nerves more than anyone you thought ever could. In fact, it has everything to do with that. And when you run into him a couple years later, at the peak of their fame, your feelings haven’t changed one bit. No matter how attractive you find him.

Content warnings: smut, oral, angry sex, teasing, pettiness, manipulation, mean!matt (even tho he's an angel irl), ANGST AF, enemies to lovers trope (somewhat?), slightly toxic, use of alcohol, a lil fluff at the end to make up for all the madness lol

word count: 3,887

You never breathed a word to anyone about what happened that night. Losing your virginity to Matt in the back of his minivan on prom night while stoned out of your mind was not something you could exactly go about announcing around the hallways of school. As much as you wanted to let what happened possibly turn into something more between you two, you simply couldn't let one night of passion make you forget the years of anger Matt caused you.

And your feelings were only solidified when you returned to school the next week, and he pretended like you didn’t even exist. He avoided you even more than he would before, and to be fair, you didn’t call or text him over the whole weekend out of sheer embarrassment. But you figured he would at least acknowledge you.

You started to feel incredibly stupid for letting your desires cloud your judgment and wished you could take back everything you did with him. You two never spoke again, as if that night never happened. And it hurt you for a while, until you eventually decided he wasn’t worth the trouble.

But that was two years ago, and this was now.

Now you were taking shots of tito’s back to back like they were water. Zach, the mutual friend that you and Matt shared from school was passing the bottle around, more people coming in and out of the house as the night wore on, the party getting bigger.

You danced in the middle of the living room along with the crowd of bodies, your body moving to the music freely as you tried to let the invasion of memories from prom night out of your mind. The alcohol coursed through your blood, your shyness leaving. You were starting to have a good time and were happy that you hadn’t seen Matt around since he disappeared down the hallway.

Zach comes up to you, leaning down to talk into your ear. He asks how you’re doing and what you’ve been up to since high school. You’re not one for small talk but you don’t want to be rude and start to engage in conversation with him when you hear a voice over the music interrupt you.

“Mind if I steal her from you?”

You turn to see Matt standing there, his eyes briefly travelling up and down your body before greeting Zach.

“Matt! What’s up, where you been? You want a shot?” he says, grabbing his hand in a handshake.

Matt shakes his head and motions to the keys attached to the belt loop of his jeans. “I’m the designated driver tonight.”

You give Matt a dirty look before you allow yourself to check him out. His appearance has changed so much since the last time you saw him. He’s wearing black jeans and a plain t shirt, a backwards hat on his head. He has light stubble on his face, making him look a little bit older. He looked really good.

But you weren’t drunk enough to acknowledge him further, turning back to Zach. “I think I’m gonna go get some fresh air.” You tell him and he barely lets you finish your sentence, grabbing both you and Matt by the shoulder.

“Hey, remember when you guys used to be at each other’s throats every day? It was hilarious.” He slurred, a drunken smile on his face.

You give him a deadpan look, avoiding looking at Matt to see his reaction. You could seriously strangle Zach right now for what he was doing.

“You know what’s hilarious Zach? She was pretending the whole time. I think she was just secretly in love with me.” Matt says and your jaw almost drops to the ground from shock.

 Zach laughs loudly, throwing his head back. “I knew it! Practically everyone in our senior class said the same thing.”

The audacity these men had. You’re absolutely fuming, staring daggers at Matt, a stupid fucking smirk on his face. He knows you’re pissed, and he likes it. Loves it in fact. It satisfies him to no end that he can still get a reaction out of you after all this time. Not to mention, he thought you were incredibly attractive when you were mad.

Before you can fire a good comeback at him, a genius idea pops into your head. The music currently blasting through the large house now switches to an upbeat reggaeton sound, something directly in your element.

The furrow in your brows from the sour look on your face relaxes as it’s replaced with a smile, your eyes lighting up. Matt is a little caught off guard by the way your expression switched up suddenly but tries not to let it show. His arms are crossed, and he raises an eyebrow in curiosity as you speak to him.

“I love this song. Wanna dance?”

“Wait-what? -“ He starts, utterly confused now but you walk past him before he can protest, the fabric of your skirt brushing against his body. He grits his teeth, his heart skipping a beat as he inhales the scent of your perfume. You look back at him over your shoulder, a mischievous look in your eyes.

“Later, Zach.” Matt says, immediately following behind you. Your hips sway as you walk, closer to the dark corner of the room. Your short skirt is skintight, your lace top not leaving much to the imagination. You have on a pair of strappy heels and Matt can’t help but let his eyes linger on the smoothness of your legs and the curve of your ass as he walks behind you.

But he feels as though he’s walking into a trap, your sudden change in behavior a mystery to him. He hasn’t seen you in two years and you seem more mature, more confident in yourself. And given the way you both left things, he’s not sure why you would even give him the time of day.

You reach the corner of the room where it’s a little more private, starting to move your hips in small circles, swaying to the beat of the song. There’s a sultry look in your eyes as you lock eyes with Matt who’s slowly moving towards you. He’s drawn dangerously close to you, a few inches separating you from him. He’s hesitant but watches your body move sensually, your hair falling around your face as you run your hands through it. You look him in the eyes again, grabbing his hands to put them on your waist.

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. And your only intention tonight is to make sure Matt knows exactly who he’s fucked with. There was just no way he was going to show up in your life again and try to make a fool out of you for the second time. You were going to remind him that yes, there’s an unspoken connection between you two, and an electric storm that is created when your bodies mesh with another. But then, you were going to rip it from him, the way that he did to you.

The music vibrates through your body as you guide Matt’s hands across your waist and hips, his lips parted as you have him in a trance. His eyes can’t choose between focusing on your breasts spilling out of your shirt, the sliver of skin peeking out from the hem, showing the curves of your hips or your bare thighs now brushing against him as you move even closer.

Then, you turn around and wrap your arm behind you, across the back of his neck. Your other hand keeps his on the side of your waist. You grind your ass lightly over his crotch, his chest pressed into your back. His head is leaned down by the side of your neck, his warm breathing fanning across your skin.

He moves with you for a minute, immersed in the music and the way your body grinds against him. He feels like its just you and him in this party, addicted to the feeling of you on him like he was the night he had you all to himself in the backseat of his van.

His lips brush lightly over the skin of your neck, and he takes a deep breath in to try and steady himself before things escalate further. “What are you doing, Y/N.” He mumbles into your ear. His fingers press into your hips, his pants tightening from the way your ass is rubbing onto him.

Fuck. It’s taking everything in him right now not to drag you to one of the empty bedrooms and bend you over the mattress so he can fuck your brains out.

You feel him grow hard in his jeans and smile to yourself, your plan going exactly how you wanted it to. You turn around suddenly and wrap your arms around his neck, your lips feathering over his. “I need you…”

It takes him all of thirty seconds to grab your hand and lead you out of the living room, and to the secluded hallway at the other side of the house. He pushes you softly against the wall, placing his arms on either side of your head. There’s a look of desperation on his face that you haven’t seen before.

“Y/N. Listen to me. I know this sounds crazy, but I think about you all the fucking time. I swear, I’ve tried so hard to get you off my mind since that night and I can’t. I- “

“Matt, please. I don’t want to talk about that right now. Just kiss me.” You interrupted and smashed your lips onto his, his shirt fisted in your hands.

What you really want to say is, you’re a liar. If you really meant that, you would’ve talked to me at school. You would’ve let me know how you felt instead of cutting me off. You would’ve acted like a grown man and reached out to me a long time ago.

But that isn’t part of your master plan to manipulate him. You needed him to think you wanted him, to make him feel the way he made you feel for months after you last saw him. You know it’s wrong and petty, but you don’t care. And you couldn’t help the fact that you also secretly enjoyed having his hands on your body again, his lips on yours like they belonged there.

Matt is completely sober but he’s getting lust drunk off the taste of your mouth, your wandering hands over his chest, his abdomen, his hair. Pushing and pulling him into you, and he can feel your pulse pounding a million miles a minute. He could breathe your air forever, could steal your kisses like it’s his favorite crime.

The desire between you two grows and grows, until Matt is convinced he could fuck you against the wall in this hallway right now and not care one bit who saw. But he knows that’s not the right way to do this. He wants you on the bed, so he can lay your body down, and devour you in the way he’s been craving all this time.

He grabs your hips, breaking the kiss and leads you to the nearest closed door, praying that it’s an empty bedroom. The chances are in his favor when he sees no one in the room, a large king-sized bed in the middle. He locks the door behind him, and you throw your arms around his neck again, entrapping his lips on yours once more. He bends down slightly and grabs your ass, lifting you up in the air. Your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you over to the bed.

Once he feels the mattress against his legs, he climbs on top, laying you down, his body on yours. He trails soft kisses from your cheek to your neck, his tongue on your hot skin, teeth grazing, leaving goosebumps all over you.

You sigh in pleasure, letting him take over your body like its his. Your determination has been crumbling since he pressed you against that wall, but you fight to keep your head on straight, his mouth now ghosting across your chest as his head dips lower. He tugs your shirt and bra down, revealing your tits to him, nipples hardened from the cool air. He looks up at you, blue eyes burning with fire as he circles his warm tongue around one of them, making you gasp.

He continues, taking extra time and attention to suck, kiss and lick on each of your breasts, his eyes still on yours, leaving your now soaked panties ruined. You can feel his erection pressing into you and when he starts moving his head further south, you wrap your legs around him and grab onto his shoulders so you can flip your bodies around on the bed, this time with you on top of him.

It was time for you to regain control. You pull the top of your shirt back up and he starts to sit up, but you push him down firmly by his shoulders. You grab the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head as he allows you to undress him. He doesn’t protest and watches as you move down the bed, to settle between his legs. Your hands unbutton his jeans and yank his pants down and off of him. Now he’s only left in his boxers, and you’re still completely dressed.

You lay down on the bed, bringing your face to his crotch and exhaling on his hardness. His abdomen flexes and he clenches his jaw as he watches you tease him, breathing your warm breath onto him and then letting your tongue run over him through the fabric of his boxers.

You press a kiss onto him, your lashes fluttering as you look up at him. “Y/N…” He groans, his hands tangling in your hair. “Don’t fucking tease me.”

You let a sly smile appear on your lips and rub your hands on his thighs. Your fingers curl around the band of his boxers, finally pulling them down so his cock springs out, long, hard, and begging to be taken care of.

He twitches as you press your lips to the tip, saliva leaking out of your mouth and coating him. Then you finally move your head down, taking as much of him as you can into your mouth and your soft hand curling around the base. He moans, holding your hair back as you bob your head up and down, his breathing becoming shallow.

You keep the pace, letting him brush the back of your throat and look at him, his head thrown back against the mattress in ecstasy, knowing he won’t last long at which the rate you’re going.

“Fuck…” He whimpers, letting you push him to that release, your actions feeling way too good to stop you.

You pull your mouth from him, gasping for air and letting your hand continue the motions, squeezing around him with every intention to get him to finish.

“I know baby, let go. It’s okay.” You say, urging him to cum.

But once you speak the words, Matt snaps out of his pleasure, the sentence sounding all too familiar.

“Matt…” You whine, and he presses his forehead to yours, his hands on your lower back, helping you ride him. “I know baby, let go. Its okay.” He says softly and the coil that’s been building for the past 20 minutes since he kissed you, finally releases and warmth floods your body. You moan loudly and feel yourself leaking on his thigh, your hips slowing down.

He grabs your jaw, the expression on his face now hardened. “What do you think you’re doing?” He says, finally catching onto your little plan.

Shit. You really fucked up now. You didn’t think he would recognize the same words, you thought it would be an inside joke only to yourself in your twisted mind. But Matt was smarter than you realized.

You try to play it off though, not wanting to give in. “What do you mean?” You say innocently, batting your eyelashes at him.

He chuckles darkly and snaps his boxers back on, grabbing you by your arms and pulling you up, flipping around so you lay on the bed, on your back again.

Matt had a feeling something was off the moment you asked him to dance but he let his attraction take over and his desire cloud his judgement. And now that he’d figured out what you were trying to do, he was furious. He was mad that you felt the need to mock him, to get back at him. He was mad that he let his stubbornness prevent him from acting like a mature adult and block you out of his mind, of his life.

But most of all, he was mad and at the same time obsessed with the control you had over him, over his body, over his thoughts. He never let anyone dictate his emotions but somehow you had, and right now he wanted to show you who was really in control here. He wanted to show just exactly how much he had missed you.

“Who do you think you’re trying to play with, hm?” He says as he roughly tugs your skirt down your body and off your legs, leaving your heels on. He removes your shirt and bra right after, leaving you shocked in the way he’s managed to get you naked in less than a minute.

You don’t say a word as he pushes your legs open, his thumbs digging into your skin so hard, it hurts. He slots his shoulders in between as he places his wet lips on your stomach, kissing his way down, over your pelvis, and moving to your inner thighs, licking and sucking at the crevices.

It was insane the way Matt could control you with his dominance, the touch of his hands and the feeling of his tongue on your skin. You’ve basically lost your whole course of action in revenge, allowing him to have his way with you.

He’s everywhere except the spot you need him the most, leaving you whimpering and on edge, your hips uncontrollably moving. He smacks your inner thigh, making you cry out from the sting.

“Stop fucking moving. You wanted to play this game, right? Well, let Daddy show you who’s really in control here.” He practically growls and the tone of his voice has your pussy throbbing with need but your heart pounding with anger.

“Fuck you, Matt.” You respond, glaring down at him in between your legs.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise at your defiance, his eyes almost completely black from the way his pupils are blown. His fingertips dig harshly into your skin as he pulls you down even closer to his mouth, and your breath picks up as he traces his lips over your folds, not touching all the way but barely brushing.

He places a gentle kiss to the spot right above your clit, his eyes the complete opposite of soft as he looks up at you. He kisses once more and then dips down to lick one swipe through you only to move away, his tongue on your inner thigh again.

The teasing is almost too much, making you whine and squirm under him. He smirks at your reaction, satisfied with the way he’s gotten you worked up. He licks through you again, his tongue strong and warm and circles around your hole before pulling away once more, kissing the side of your lips.

“Say you want me.” He breathes against your skin, looking at you again.

You don’t answer him and he runs one finger through your folds, massaging lightly before pulling away seconds later.

“Say you want me. And I’ll give you what you need baby.” He’s looking at you with expectancy, hoping you’ll give in because as much as he’s enjoying teasing you, he wants nothing more than to please you.

You could almost cry from how mean he’s being, and grit your teeth, your eyes continuing to give him dirty looks. No fucking way you’re giving in this easily.

“I said… Fuck. You.”

There’s a brief moment of silence and heated looks exchanged before he suddenly gets up, standing at the end of the bed and then reaches up to drag you by your ankles to the edge where he is, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He would’ve had you cumming on his tongue, thighs around his face as you shook, swallowing every last drop.

“You’re gonna regret that.” He simply says and pulls his dick out only to push it into you with no warning, bottoming out as his hips connect with yours.

You cry aloud from the feeling, and you’re seeing stars as Matt drives himself into you over and over, hard. You’re moaning along with him, your head thrown back against the mattress. He watches as he slips in and out of you, the blissful look of pleasure on your face, a sight he could replay in his head for the rest of his life.

He wraps one hand around your neck, squeezing a little, making you clench around him from the feeling of arousal it gives you. The anger pours out of both of you, mixing with pleasure until it turns into something else, something you two have been holding back for a long time. This is nothing like the last time. In the van, it was sweet, innocent and new. But now it was dirty, hot and desperate.

The sounds of your bodies against each other fill the room, the wetness you make as he thrusts into you like music to his ears. He tells you how sexy you are, how good you take him, how much he loves to have you like this. Dripping down his cock, body quivering and throat raw from screaming out his name.

You both claim to hate each other but somehow ended up in this position for the second time. As you reach your release together, he lays closer over the top of you, burying his face in your neck. You hold him, nails scratching down his back as you cum around him, and you feel the throbbing of his cock as he finishes inside you. He stays there for a minute as you both calm down and he’s whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Matt drove you home that night, after taking his brothers home first of course. Everyone assumed what you two were doing when you disappeared from the party and Chris and Nick giggled in the car, making fun of you two, much to Matt’s annoyance.

He kissed you good night. He called the next day, and the next, and the next. He checked up on you, sent flowers to your house when you weren’t expecting, he even brought you lunch to your job when you were having a particularly rough day. He made up for all the lost time.

You both had many discussions about the past. You forgave him for what happened, and it made you happy to finally say you didn’t hate Matthew Sturniolo after all. You were actually deeply, head over heels, in love with him.

taglist <3: (if you want to be added/taken off, reply to this post or comment on my masterlist. and if you weren't mentioned, it wouldnt let me tag u :/)

@sturniolopepsi @tillies33ssss @whicked-hazlatwhore @riasturns @christhopersturniolo @junnniiieee07 @sturnsjtop @seahorsie11 @inveigledvex @honestlyjb @mattslolita @certifiednatelover @glassesmattsbae @eryismum @sturncakez @sturnioloco @wh0resstuff @ribread03 @sturniololoco @75sturn

[starglitterz]

♡ ROMEO & CINDERELLA.

❝ hey, pretty stranger, i think you look cute! can i get your number? i wanna know you. // cute encounters with genshin guys on the bus.  ❞

✧ feat ; childe, heizou, xiao x gn!reader ✧ warning(s) ; childe’s can be viewed as platonic ✧ a/n ; so i think the bus at my university is like. a meet-cute spot for me or something HAHAHA here are a couple of drabbles based on my irl experiences <3 ! shout out to my one irl that has to listen to me being delusional all the time LOL ur a real one (she’s never going to see this). also the title has no relation to the fic at all sorry i just could not think of a title for the life of me so i just went with a random vocaloid song JDSJDJS ok bye i hope u enjoy this!!

please reblog w tags + leave comments ! it rlly makes my day :)

✦ CHILDE. [ tartaglia ]

“childe? is that you?” you grin, leaning over the back of your seat as you realise who’s sitting behind you, “i didn’t know you take the bus back too!” his face cracks into a wide beam upon noticing you, “y/n! hi! i do sometimes when i’m too tired to walk.” and just like that, the two of you start talking excitedly – you’re classmates, though you aren’t too close you both still consider each other friends, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to instead of staring out the window at the rain with your earphones plugged in to pretend you’re in a music video. 

somehow, the conversation turns to birthdays, and as childe asks when yours is, you smirk, “it’s today!” you swear his blue eyes open so big you’re worried they might just tumble out of his head as he gasps, “what?! today?! so you’re turning a year older today?!” “yeah!” you nod, giggling at his exaggerated reaction. “nah, you’ve got to come here so i can wish you properly,” he shakes his head seriously, and you tilt your head in confusion, “there’s someone sitting beside you already though…”

you shouldn’t have doubted the one and only tartaglia for even a moment, because the next second, he turns to the man beside him with zero hesitation and gives them the most blinding persuasive smile ever, “hey! would you mind switching seats with my friend over there? it’s their birthday, and i really want to wish them!” “childe!” you scold, heat rushing to your face at his casual confession to this total stranger, “stop disturbing random people!” “but it’s your birthday!” he replies innocently, ocean eyes gleaming aquamarine. the man beside him seems a little confused by childe’s demeanour, but he’s probably more scared of what his reaction would be if he said no, so he nods, “sure, i guess…” and as the bus rattles along its familiar route, you switch places with the stranger, profuse thanks spilling from your lips before you fix childe with a scolding gaze. 

“hey, it worked!” he raises his hands in surrender, only to quickly grasp yours and shake it heartily, “happy birthday, comrade!” you laugh, shaking your head, “you’re so silly. thank you, childe.” you both hide your chuckles as you joke about the poor guy that had to switch with you, and you tease and banter with each other all the way to the train station.

✦ SHIKANOIN HEIZOU. [ analytical harmony ]

it has been a long day. not necessarily bad, but one of those days where the universe seems to be conspiring against you to make every small thing go wrong enough to get on your nerves. right now, you’re at your wits end as you stumble onto the bus, sending the bus driver a sheepish smile when your card only buzzes on the third tap. your eyes scan the interior – almost all of the seats are occupied, and your friend has skipped ahead to sit with someone else she knows. 

but your gaze stops short on a maroon-haired guy looking out the window, and with an internal cheer you realise that the seat next to him is empty and quickly slide into it. now that you’re closer, you notice that he’s actually quite handsome; all fluffy maroon hair and forest green eyes with a few moles dotted across his pale skin. you’re so busy staring that you don’t realise he’s trying to tell you something until he clears his throat. “y-yeah?!” you stutter in surprise at his sudden attempt at conversation. that was a dumb reply. now you’re staring at him with wide eyes as he softly asks, “um, is that your wallet?”

you look at the floor where he’s pointing, only to realise with horror: that is your wallet! “oh… hahaha, that is mine. thank you,” you’re ninety percent sure you are giving off the worst first impression of all time with your stupid responses. it’s almost like you’ve never spoken to another human being in your life. and what’s with your outfit?! of course the one day you don’t dress up is the day you end up sitting next to the world’s cutest stranger. as you bend down to pick up your wallet, you silently curse your unlucky stars. you dropped your purse in front of a cute guy! can this day get any worse?! 

famous last words.

because two seconds later, you’re trying to sit up straight again, and you hit your head on the hard back of the seat in front of yours. even worse, you groan loudly, “ow!” “holy archons… are you okay?” the stranger beside you gasps, although as you rub your head and look at them, it’s pretty obvious that they’re trying to hold back laughter. you’re torn between laughing or crying your eyes out, but the humour of the absolutely idiotic situation you’re in kicks in and you end up giggling even as you’re wincing in pain, “i’m fine, thank you… i promise i’m not usually this clumsy.” “really?” he quirks an eyebrow with a teasing smile, “could’ve fooled me.” “hey!” you pout, folding your arms across your chest in playful offence, “i know i might have just made the worst first impression ever, but i swear i’m a lot cooler!” “i’ll be the judge of that,” his gaze softens and he tilts his head, “i’m heizou, by the way.” “i’m y/n! let’s restart this whole thing – it’s nice to meet you!”

luckily for you, the bus is stuck in traffic, and the two of you end up talking about everything under the sun on the long journey to the train station. you aren’t certain if he’s convinced that you’re cool yet, but you’ll definitely keep working on it – even if it’s only to see the way his cute dimples appear whenever his features crease into a smile at your jokes. 

✦ XIAO. [ vigilant yaksha ]

it’s been a tiring day of an exhausting course. but at the very least, you’ve got your new friend to complain to as the two of you wait for the bus. “you know, i was so glad you asked me to join your group!” you grin at xiao, adjusting your tote bag. “it’s no big deal… you were alone, so i thought you could join us,” he gives you a soft smile, jade streaks of hair framing his face as they peek out from under his dark cap. “yeah, but still! it’s so difficult to make friends when the classes are so huge, so it was really nice of you.” “that’s true. you’re the first person i’m talking to outside class,” he nods in agreement. his casual statement makes you remember that you’re a professional yapper and you panic, “oh! by the way, if i’m talking too much, just tell me to shut up! i talk a lot, so that’s totally fine.” he chuckles, and his response makes a happy smile grace your lips, “no, it’s okay. i prefer listening, so it’s fine if you talk a lot.” so talk is what you do until the bus finally rumbles into the bus stop. 

the constant bumping of the bus on the rough roads combined with the soothing noise of the rain tapping against the window makes you drowsy, and you turn to xiao, “if i fall asleep before we reach the train station, you better wake me up, okay? don’t abandon me on the bus and just go home!” the corner of his lips quirk up into what might be a teasing smile, “no promises.” but when he sees your distraught expression, he reassures you, “just kidding. i’ll wake you up.” “okay…” you mumble a response, and within a few seconds, you’re asleep, head lolling forward as the bus continues along. you don’t usually fall asleep on public transport, far too worried that you’ll miss your stop and end up on the other end of teyvat, but with xiao beside you, you’ve got nothing to worry about, right?

you’re in the middle of a very nice dream when you hear xiao’s soft voice calling you, “y/n?” and his tone is so gentle, like he didn’t want to startle you, that it almost makes your heart beat right out of your chest. you stretch a little, eyes flickering open before sliding shut again, “mmm…” “we’re almost there,” he murmurs. and there it is again, that soft, gentle voice that you swear sounds like honey. you’re almost going to pass out, and definitely not from sleepiness. “okay… i’m awake.” you manage a smile, and he tilts his head almost worriedly, “don’t fall asleep on the train.” “i won’t!” you grin widely as you hop off the bus, hoping that shows how you’re 100% awake right now, and he smiles, “okay then, i’ll see you tomorrow.” 

bahaha these are very messy but i just needed to get these out of my system before i went insane i think i should take the bus more often 😋 also yes these are all 100% experienced by yours truly and have not even been exaggerated for the sake of this fic // general masterlist

© starglitterz 2024. do not repost or modify in any way - reblog and leave comments if you enjoyed !

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - THERE IS SO MUCH ON RIGHT NOW, it's crazy-making!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

July 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 10 of 12 - I am with Dee, noodles do solve everything. The brothers were SO GOOD together. I’m getting to really love a back drop in BL, it’s like the mic drop of gay boys smooching. This is such a good show. I had a big grin on my face while also crying a bit. Everything I want from a BL is happening right here, in front of my eyes.

Did they gloss over the trauma a bit? Yes. Do I care? No. I don't like dwelling in trauma in general, mine, friends, online, or in my BL.

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) ep 2 of 12 - All Thai mafia is gay… again. Yes, it’s still great. No, I have no idea why they’re dropping so many eps at once. That’s not normal for a Thai drama. But I’m not gonna complain except there’s a lot on right now. I like the side couple too. I also like Frank’s poor little rich kid side dish action. I mean, Meen is an ult for me, but Frank is giving excellent second lead syndrome. Suspiciously aggressive and a touch stalker, but I don’t mind a boy that sus if he that cute. And of course, with the mafia involved there is kidnapping.

Look, is this the best show currently airing? No. Which is why it slid a little in the standings. But that's only because Wandee hit it out of the park this week. Frankly, this may not be the best BL airing right now, but it’s the best BL for me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - That oppa bit was fucking genius. (You get it right? If you don't, I can explain.) And I immediately adore the secretary character as a result (I typed that as "reslut" and that works too.) Pleased to have such a "rich man and his spoiled boy" dynamic it going already. A dynamic I am personally IRL familiar with from the 90s. Also, kiddies stop filming adults at play! Sheesh.

I pretty much love all the couples in this show. It’s lots of fun. SamYo’s cat and mouse thing is delightful. Meanwhile, the mains are so sweetly hesitant about kisses and everything (hilarious coming from this pair). I love them and their awkward first time, or whatever is going on.

Do you know what? After that "oppa" comment this lead pair makes me feel a little bit like I’m watching a gay K-drama, similar style of personalities and everything, even the random martial arts ability. And the outing. I'm getting Business Proposal vibes. Nothing wrong with that, I was weaned on K-dramas.

All in all, great episode.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Yet again I spent the entire episode saying "poor Joe" over and over again. This time I didn’t cry though.

The pat way to end this is to have Joe walk through that door and then wake up back when he was about to get into the motorcycle accident. So that none of it ever happened. I suppose we’ll see what they do next week but I hope it isn’t that.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 14 of 16 - Do you know what this friendship group reminds me of the most? The old Love Sick music club boys. This is just the college version... 10 years later. (Love Sick was one of the few shows where I mostly didn’t yell “no singing” at the screen (also Ingredients). In my defense, I didn’t know any better back then.)

As boyfriends, PhumPeem are even more puppy/cat paring. And I am even more delighted by it. And them. In fact, this show is ALL puppy/cat pairings. I’m not mad about it.

"I’m hugging you so you won’t feel hungry" is the weirdest pick up ever. But Phum is weird. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 8 - The PittBabe team behind a new restaurant set BL full of hidden agendas and starring my new favorites SailubPon. I’m reminded so much right off the bat of PokeTongue’s side dish couple in What’s Zabb Man. Interesting, considering that came from Pon’s former studio. Love the call out of obnoxious content creators (not to mention corporate property developers). I like the chef character, he’s nicely complex. In fact, so far I like most of the characters, it’s a good range of different personality types. The plot is a little contrived and complicated but I don’t mind because the characters are such fun.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - Reported on this last week already but here's what I said:

Gun still looks like he’s just out of high school. Madness.

The set for the print shop reminds me of Mork’s dad’s place in ‘Cause He’s My Boy? I swear GMMTV has only 3 sets.

I wasn't looking forward to this show at all. Maybe I just needed more of a break from OffGun? Cooking Crush happened yesterday.

Whatever, because I was absolutely riveted by this first episode.

I’m enjoying The Trainee a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It's not higher up just because there is so much good content from Thailand airing right now.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - Still a chaos muffin no matter which country. So earnest. So cute. Talking stage commence!!!

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I got so bored I started looking up ways to organize my sunglasses. Trash watch here.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 6-7 of 12 - The exes are odd. I like that Latte finally got some backstory.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) Ep 2 of 10 - I’m still enjoying this quite a bit. It’s paralleling the manga quite closely, which is nice. But it’s not gonna be a particularly exciting drama if this continues. The manga is rather quiet (pun intended to amuse not insult).

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Look, if some kid followed me to college and changed the whole course of his life because I was nice about his dead bird? I'd be skeeved as fuck too. It's odd and uncomfortable, in that way Japan loves. Visuals are on point but can't say I'm enjoying it as yet. Still, it is JBL, and so I am intrigued and open to all possibilities.

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down once it ends?

In case you missed it

Blue Boys finished it run. I like it quite a bit. This felt a lot like a Strongberry short series. It’s very curtailed and could’ve used some legs but I've been trained into ignoring that for Korean BL. Short has always been their thing. Essentially, two boys who were acquaintances in high school are reunited and it turns out always had crushes on each other. It’s definitely an extrovert meets introvert scenario, and this being Korea, they can’t resist a tiny love triangle in the eleventh hour. But it all came out fine in the end. It has great kisses and higher heat than is normal from Korea. All in all, a surprisingly charming offering. Recommended with some reservations around the brevity of plot and character development. 8/10 

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution. I demand you tell me the moment you find it!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

July Releases to Come

7/10 Century of Love (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - trailer here, DaouOffroad are back, this time as fated mates in a quasi historical paranormal moment. San has spent many lifetimes waiting for his lost beloved, to reincarnate from her death a century ago. But if he fails to find her within this century's time window, he will succumb to a tragic death. And this time she's a boy. Very much Director Who Buys Me Dinner meets First Love Again, hopefully better than both. I love this pair and think they can handle the premise, it's whether the storytelling is up to the challenge. I'm curious to see but I have reservations.

7/24 I Saw You in My Dream (Thai Weds WeTV) - Dee Hup is behind this one so I have high hopes. Younger boy chronically teased his whole life by the older boy next door suddenly starts having horrific prophetic dreams about his bully and must save hime.

7/26 4 Minutes (Thai Netflix or iQIYI?) - Great is a university student from Faculty of Business and the son of a wealthy business owner. Out of the blue, he gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future.

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: that premise! Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Product placement du jour! Also the only product placed in a BL that I regularly enjoy myself.

Yes I cried. I'm a sap.

The faens in the wive's positions! So cute.

All Wandee

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[reiashiftsrealities]

shifting storytime <3

So sorry for the wait but IM FINALLY POSTING IT LETS GOOOO. So excited to share this experience with you all and I actually am tweaking from how much I want to go back. Also this is NOT proofread I apologize for any mistakes 🫶

DR: Hunger Games

How long was the shift: A week, give or take.

Method: Gaslighting Method (my own)

So in this DR, my name is Loralei Walker, and I’m from District 3. I think I said at least the district already but I’m reiterating. I’m going to be dating Peeta eventually but I didn’t meet him this shift. Finnick, Johanna, and Evangeline (friend I scripted in) are the people i’m closest to.

OH MY GOD okay so when I shifted, I woke up in my room with Chewy curled up in my lap. It like actually scared the living shit out of me so I shot straight up which caused him to nip my leg (granted I did like throw him upwards).

He’s so adorable ☹️☹️. He follows me around EVERYWHERE. He even followed me to the reaping ☹️. I scripted that I can take him to the Capitol cause he’s an emotional support animal, but it’s kind of sad to think that when I actually go to the Arena he can’t follow me :(

Now onto District 3: I didn’t expect this, but D3 is COLDDDD. It is FREEZING. It is FROSTBITE inducing. And blankets are a luxury, ironically. Like ice cubes in D12. Thankfully since I live in the Victor’s Village I have a couple of them but you literally can’t escape the cold.

Another thing; In D3, kids start learning about their district career at like 4 years old. School is from 5 am to 5 pm, kids 4-18. At 16, you have the option to take a test about 16-18 curriculum, and if you pass you get to graduate. If not, you stay until you’re 18. No do-overs. Not going to school is punishable by death. There are only a few careers you can choose from, which are: Technical Engineering, Technology Advancement, Robotics, and Computer Science. Being a Victor automatically exempts you from school + choosing a career.

D3 is very desolate and dark, considering we’re a tech district. There isn’t much wildlife or wilderness as big buildings completely take over the land.

District 3, except it’s a bit smaller.

Okay so onto the Reaping: That shit can only be described as ominous. Like watching it on TV really cannot compare to how it felt IRL. Hearing my name being called was like chilling almost, and I expected it! Literally can’t even think about how it must feel for the people who didn’t. My District partner was Beetee, which was so sad cause he was my mentor during my Games. After we left, he told me he’d do everything to make sure I was safe. I started crying he’s so sweet.

The train ride to the Capitol was SOOO AMAZING. I couldn’t even think about the fact that I was going to the Captiol. Seeing the Districts was so crazy, the Captiol really can’t compare to the beauty of them. I can’t remember which District it was, but we passed by a huge sunflower field. It was so pretty. And the sky was like a purple/pink. I wanted that sky tattooed on my body it was so pretty.

When we pulled up to the Capitol I was like IMMEDIATELY greeted by my prep team. I couldn’t remember their names and my stylist couldn’t either so we just called them Hughie, Dughie, and Lewie.

OH MY GOD I LOVE MY STYLIST SOOOOO BAD. Her name is Xotia and she’s a literal goddess oh my god she slayed so bad. Hold on I’ll show you the getup she had me in.

My outfit as a mood board. Didn’t wanna put that many photos.

SEE????? She ate so bad holy shit. Had me down bad for myself anyways

Slight deviation; My first impression upon meeting Finnick was “this mf crazy.” The aura on that man is INSANE. He’s such a natural flirt despite being enamored with Evangeline. I didn’t really meet anyone else besides Johanna, and she is actually insane. Her and Finnick are really good friends and they complement each-other well. Also, Johanna is a major lesbian. Like major. Yes I scripted she was but I’m considering it canon ☹️

I shifted back around the time we got to the training centre so I didn’t get to meet my man BUT I will definitely next time I shift 🫶 so I’m not upset about that. Besides I could’ve stayed longer but I didn’t want to.

All in all I am SOSOSOSOSOSOSO in love with this DR and actually can’t wait to be back I’m literally tweaking oh my god i canMt do this

Edit: IM SO DAMN SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS PLS ☹️☹️☹️. Not an excuse really but it’s finally here so yay!!!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[lowkeyrobin]

Hii do you have like general dating headcanons for Quackity?? And like man idk I’m just starved of Quackity contend (especially in the xreader scene)

sure yeah! ; hope you don't mind that I use the same format for this on everyone I do cause it makes my life easier but... ; but yeah that's understandable, mcyt aren't really a "hit topic" atm and I've definitely seen a decrease for mcyt requests, quackity specifically lol ; thank you for requesting! hope you enjoy :)

QUACKITY ; dating shenanigans

summary ; general dating shit w alex

warnings ; language

word count ; 360

masterlist

you both indulge in each other's hobbies regularly

and there's a lot of cooking for each other

you both gift give a lot too

there's very little hate given from your audiences, they absolutely love ur relationship 💔

soooooo many edits omg

it's either yeat or some cute ass love song

it's not a complete week if you don't try something new

whether it's trying new food, picking up slash trying a new hobby, trying to DIY something, etc

you both have troll Facebook accounts and love streaming together while doing shit on them

you met through a mini minecraft comp hosted by a mutual friend

basically mcc but not really

like hypixel w ppl you know and open vc

and you hit it off well

a million build battles later, you'd developed a little crush on each other

you spent more time together after that, streaming, even just playing games together off camera

ppl began editing you two a lot, your best / cutest moments etc

you moved in together after a couple years bc you'd both benefit from it and trusted each other enough

so you delivered a LOT of irl streams

you were the first to confess

you took him on a little road trip to see a waterfall

and you could walk underneath it

you made it into a vlog

and while you were walking underneath, you turned to him, the camera resting in your hand at your side and just said it

"Alex, I like you"

he was honestly speechless at first

queue cute waterfall kiss

he's like a 3/10 on pda

he'll give you little kisses and hold ur hand but he's a private guy

he's also not that jealous

like 2/10

he couldn't care less, cause he trusts you and will mostly only step in to back you up

he physically can't go from a 0-10 unless it's serious

and finally, songs that kinda fit the vibe

12 notes ; alec benjamin

somewhere in my heart ; aztec camera

orange show speedway ; lizzy mcalpine

light it up ; luke bryan

detour ; maren morris

him ; tokio hotel

when we were younger ; tokio hotel

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

[fisherpon]

Tumblrpon Retrospective: 1-16/16 “The Shared History”

First and foremost, let me get this out of the way: I’m not leaving. This is not a goodbye message, this is marking the end of the Great Draft Dump with a look back upon my time in Tumblrpon. This will be a very long post, hence the pagebreak.

Comic sprites commissioned from @darkfiretaimatsu Final art commissioned from @askmovieslate Background vectors by BonesWolbach Editing by me

Credits for each drawblog are after the page cut.

A long time ago, I had a saying. “Ten days online is like a year IRL.” What I meant by that is that so much stuff happens online and so quickly that if you go away for a couple weeks and come back, things may look completely different. Just think of the addition of ‘blorbo’ to Tumblr vocabulary, for instance. My point is, on that measure, I’ve been a part of Tumblrpon for 408 Fyears (Fandom years). Considering the oldest trace of Tumblrpon we could find is 415 Fyears old and the show itself is 438 Fyears old, it’s safe to say I’ve been around for a while. And, like any old dragon, I've lived through a lot and got some stories to tell.

The Beginning

When I started, Tumblrpon was small, but vibrant. There were drawblogs, indeed; the First, Applebloom; the Drunkard, Berry Pnuch; the Musician; Octavia, and surely others I have forgotten. In these very early days, Tumblrpon was mostly roleplayers. Among them, the Second Queens, the Lawlicorn Diarchy. This was the age of magic anons, of KA-THINGY spells and the invention of the word ‘ponification’. Aside from the drawblogs, here I have remembered some of the more prominent roleplayers of the era, many of whom were, and are, my dear friends. Many of them are still roleplaying in the depths of Tumblrpon, long since overshadowed by drawblogs. I still think they’re the core of Tumblrpon, though; more on that later.

Eventually, however, one drawblog would appear that would change everything. Easily the most influential Tumblrpon drawblog of all time, and perhaps the most deserving of the title Queen of Tumblrpon. The Third Queen, Pinkamena. Before her entry, grimdark elements like Cupcakes and Scootabuse were frowned upon, even hated. Pinkamena rose up and destroyed that barrier. She was by far the best-drawn drawblog up to that point, and pulled no punches when it came to blood and gore. And in doing this, she became famous outside of Tumblrpon. Her art spread to Ponibooru and other pony outlets online, and seeing what she was doing here brought many, many, many other artists to Tumblrpon. She arrived 3 days before me, and within a year of her arrival there would be hundreds of drawblogs. Her presence was brief, but her influence ever-lasting. This was the beginning of our finest era.

The Golden Age

Over the next few years, Tumblrpon thrived. This was also the golden era of the fandom as a whole, the period from Season 2 to roughly 6 or 7. With every new episode, drawblogs would pop up out of the woodwork. With each new character, multiple drawblogs would appear, often with variants. Tumblrpon-wide memes happened; Misty’s Hoodie, Rainbow Chubbie, Yellow vs Blue Pegasi, Ghost Trixie’s Memorial and the Somboom were but a few of them. Collab drawblogs appeared that were simply ‘put all the drawblogs of this one character in the same house’. I went to my first Bronycon (thanks to a charity drive by my Tumblrpon artist friends) and was part of the first of many Tumblrpon panels, through which we brought even more artists into our community. In the midst of all this, I jokingly called Raikissu the Queen of Tumblrpon, and it ended up turning into a massive injoke among our group of friends (which, because it included a lot of influential drawblogs, turned it into a Tumblrpon-wide injoke). They're the only one who really got to experience that title, making them the Fourth Queen. They were also the last, since eventually people didn’t realize it was a joke and started getting uptight at them about it.

As for me, running Fisherpon was a lot of work. I had separate categories of tags that I would search through, some daily, some weekly, some monthly and some yearly, and I would fully tag and put everything into the queue. I had to make a second Tumblr account and move Fisherpon to a secondary blog so I could bypass the 300/day post limit to handle all the content! But it was too much, and eventually I burnt out. I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but I think it was sometime in 2016. After that point, I stopped trawling the tags as much. I was following most of Tumblrpon (often running into the following limit of 5000 blogs), and through them I often saw new drawblogs (which I reblogged) and good pony art (which I tossed into the drafts, for when I’d eventually get around to processing it). Most of my blog’s activity turned into liveblogging new episodes, and Tumblrpon itself left its growth phase and plateaued.

Bit of a side note: In early 2017, a very dear member of the community passed away. He’d been there since the beginning, had one of the most unique ‘draw’ blogs, and was a close friend to a lot of us. Despite not liking alcohol myself, I still raise a toast in his honor on every anniversary of his passing. I still miss you, Rusty. You wise old bastard.

Anyhow, on to the most prominent event in Tumblr’s history:

The Purge

When the news dropped, I was travelling abroad in Korea so I wasn’t watching Tumblrpon closely. However, when all my Discord groups exploded, it was pretty hard to ignore. I feared that it would be the end of Tumblrpon as a whole, and wrote a dissertation about Tumblrpon’s history and my memories from the site. That goes into more detail on my origin story, if you’re interested in that.

And, as I expected, it did a lot of damage. Many drawblogs that were already on hiatus used it to justify finally ending their blogs, and a lot of ones that were active found themselves struck out of the sky by a stupid bot that couldn’t recognize boobs if it motorboated them. Tumblr gained a reputation as being unfriendly to artists, especially for those grimdark and risque artists Pinkamena had attracted to Tumblrpon in the first place. I’ve heard that roughly 30% of the site’s users left entirely, and in no place was it more obvious than my dashboard. Despite following thousands of accounts, there were and are days where I catch up on my dashboard to where I was the previous day and have to wait for new posts to appear. That would never have happened back in the Golden Age. Tumblrpon had already been slowly declining, but watching Tumblr shoot its foot off and strangle Tumblrpon (among other fandoms) was very depressing and radicalizing.

However, despite the purge, Tumblrpon lived on. There was talk of migrating to Pillowfort, NewTumbl or Mastodon, but they never caught on well enough to seriously shift the userbase. Despite everything, some new drawblogs popped up, and some of the old drawblogs that survived the purge kept on ticking and gained new prominence (or were simply no longer overshadowed) among the ruins. Things clearly would never be the same, and yet not everything had been lost. It was reassuring, in a way.

Meanwhile, outside of Tumblr, another great star was nearing the end of its life. The show itself, our source of fuel. It whose whims had given birth to thousands of drawblogs during the Golden Age, and whose fancies had caused no end of trouble for drawblogs whose canon counterparts went through big changes (cough Twilicorn cough). Nothing can last forever, and Season 9 would be the last season. Generation 5 was still at least a couple years away, so I decided to finally lower my standards and bring myself to post pony art without proper tags. I know, it sounds silly now, but I took great pride in my post organization and it took a lot of willpower to override that. I made a post telling people about my plans for the Great Draft Dump and started posting again, dripfeeding Tumblrpon with a post (almost) every hour from my reserves.

The Present

And now, here we are. A year past my original ending estimation and a couple weeks short of 3 years since it began. I could have pushed it to 3 years, but today is also the 12th anniversary of the very first episode that started it all so I figured this would be a better ending point.

Tumblrpon is still recovering from the Purge. They’ve dialed back the bot, and that combined with Twitter imploding (or something?) has helped bring artists back to some degree (or perhaps it’s due to COVID stuffing everyone inside), but there’s still a long way to go. We have new horse content again, and while it doesn’t seem to have the same spark G4 had it has breathed some new life into the fandom which is nice to see. There’s even been a handful of G5 drawblogs that have appeared, even though we still don’t seem to have any for Zipp or Hitch which is weird (especially in comparison to the dozens of drawblogs each Mane 6 member had back in the day). And yet, I’m still reminded of times long past. With most of the drawblogs gone, a lot of the activity on my dash is made of roleplayers once again. They’re not the same roleplayers as back in Oldest Tumblrpon, of course, but I feel as long as they continue roleplaying and interacting with each other Tumblrpon will never truly die.

And that is my history lesson. They may not be aware of it, but the new generation of drawblogs and roleplayers carry on a 415-Fyear-old legacy, part of which I’ve included in this comic. Just as we were Tumblrpon, so are you. To every blogger who ever drew a pony answering a question, and to every roleplayer who by interacting with others helped knit Tumblrpon together, I am deeply grateful. Undoubtedly, in the making of this comic I’ve forgotten ponies who should have been included, and to those I deeply apologize as well.

As for me? I’ll still be here. Ever-watching, ever-promoting, though perhaps not as much as I used to. The tanks are dry now, and everything I post will be from the present rather than the past. I’ll probably just toss it all into the queue and have it post whatever it gets a few times a day. Thanks to Tumblrpon, I gained a lot of horse friends, and it’s always great fun meeting up with them at conventions or hanging out with them in my personal Discord server (the Tumblrpon Block Party). If you made it all the way to the end of my tale and you want an invite to it, or if you have a new drawblog you want me to promote, or if you just want to chat, feel free to message me. After all, like I said at the beginning:

I’m not leaving.

Blogs featured in the comic (Queens bolded): Again, if I forgot you, my apologies. My memory’s far from perfect and there’s only so much space on the billboard.

Beginning (Panel 2): @askapplebloom-blog (archive of the original one) @vindicarthehippogriff @faithful-student @rainbowdash-answers @askberrypnuch @askrustynail (RIP. Survived by @techmomma) @askoctavia @ask-reginald-dragon @asklyra @queenfrau @draggity @ask-nightmaremoon @mythic-swirl @trollestiaanswers-blog-blog @stilllunaanswers

Early Golden Age (Panel 3): @askpinkaminadianepie @askmlcblobs @ask-doctorcolgate @ask-sadistic-rarity @ask-dr-adorable @thetalesofwildcard @askterry @asklittlepip @askhotbloodedpinkie @ask-misty-wonderbolt-blog-blog @raindropsanswers @ask-sapphire-eye-rarity @askprincessmolestia @askcharliefoxtrot @junes-pony @askfluttershyandpinkiepie @spittfire @asksirlintalot @ask-glittershell @ponyhawkesho @askdeadrainbowdash @askpiratedash @askvelvet @askstonedtrixie @asksurprisearchive (archive of the original one) @ask-jappleack @askspirit @sweetiebotreplies @askthenightguards @ask-grimdark-bigmac @askpalette-swap @just-flutterguy-replies @susie-queen-of-the-vampireponies @seaponyluna @askbadbloom @askmeaniebelle @ask-scootabot (sequel to the original)

Late Golden Age (Panel 5-7): @raikissu @vocationaldeathcruise (Somehow, this is still up) @askstalkerloo @asklaura-and-naki @outofworkderpy @ask-dinky-dawberry-doo @ask-doctor-dimension @ask-cyberpunkspitfire @ask-thaumaturge-pony @luna-afterdark @ask-dolly @askmovieslate @cmcnext @thehorsewife @askflufflepuff @questionpinkamena @lilmissrarity @fiddlesticks-archives-blog @darkfiretaimatsu @askfirestarterspitfire @fristart @under-renewal (Ask the CMC) @ask-acepony @pinkiepiesolutions @askshinytheslime @reversal-mushroom @askpun @askloona @ask-de-writer @askresearchertwilight @ask-king-sombra (Somboom reflected in window) @ask-fillytwilight (has since been taken over by a russian pornbot) @ask-ikea-pony @askbananapie @askseriousrainbow @motherlyscootaloo @butters-the-alicorn @thecoopontlc (the first collab drawblog) @ask-canterlot-musicians

Post-Purge (Panel 11): @rainbowdashsmailbagthings @thelunararmy @aerialaim @whirlwindflux @ask-louvely @unlocktheaskblog @adorkabletwilightandfriends @askburningstream @glimglamandpals

Now (Panel 13): @askalbinopie (Fellow Keeper of the Past, except that they also have the art skills to do it justice. If Rai hadn’t abdicated and killed off the Queen system, I’d prolly make Alby the 5th for their art skills and their understanding of our history.) @askjetstream @questionthedoctor @twila-bloggin @ask-izzy-moonbow @askquartzandcord @askdrunktwilight @darkreplies @sunny-and-sparkle @ask-narratordoe @ask-pippamena (What did I say earlier? Pinkamena’s legacy lives on.) @asklostcelestia @a-spoonful-o-generosity @askcharmingshadow @ask-shutter-ghost Here’s a funky fact for those of you who came alllllll the way down here. In late 2011/early 2012, right when Tumblrpon started expanding, there was a lot of Homestuck on my dash as it was still updating at the time. Because of that, I have approximate knowledge of many parts of the mid-to-late part of Homestuck, and also because of it I considered opening up a second Fisher blog for Homestuck material. Fisherstuck. Who knows how things would be today had I done that? Who knows....

[maladaptivewriting]

On scale from 1 to 10 how would you rate these ships and why:

James/Regulus/Barty/Evan

Lily/Barty/Evan

Narcissa/Lily

James/Regulus/Sirius/Remus

Bellatrix/Rita/Ms.Zabini (I don't think she had a name in canon, tell me if I'm wrong)

Draco/a dragon (you keep mentioning this one fic, you asked for it)

James/Barty

Lily/Pandora/Mary

Mary/Marlene/Dorcas

Lucius/Snape (this ship used to constantly haunt me a few years ago)

wow what a fun ask.

okay i want to preface this by saying that i’m not really into poly ships, but im going to make an exception for this and try to be fair.

1. james/regulus/barty/evan: 5/10

i could this happening like one time as a fun anniversary gift for one of the couples, but i could never see the four of them in an actual relationship.

2. lily/barty/evan: 7/10

i like this to the extent that it is far superior to jegulily which is absolutely despise. i can see barty and evan as people who might have a looser definition of relationships and jealous than james or regulus so rosekiller with lily could be really fun. lily seems soft enough to dull some of their edges. plus the fanart is hot

3. narcissa/lily: 9/10

there is a lot of potential here, especially for angst purposes, but i think this ship would work best in like a bdsm fic/setting. like narcissa is older than lily and she’s definitely the most put together of all the malfoys so i could see her domming lily and i love that for them.

4. james/regulus/sirius/remus: 7/10

putting aside the incest for a second. i could see this happening like once or twice. however i think regulus and sirius are both extremely possessive and jealous people, remus and james too but not to the same extent, so i dont think they would like to share. however i think the possessiveness could be hot depending on how it’s used.

5. bellatrix/rita/mrs. zabini: 3/10

the thing about mrs. zabini is that i just don’t think she likes being tied down and i can’t see her enjoying it with two partners. i like quillkiller but mrs. zabini throws a wrench in things.

6. draco/dragon: 9/10

i have read all the fics with this tag, however i think charlie/dragon works better. but the best option imo is like draco/dragon animagus. so like a drarry fic where harry is a dragon animagus? that would be 10/10

7. james/barty: 3/10

i feel indifferent to this ship, but i don’t think it would work out. one of my closest friends irl is so barty core and i think a james person would piss her the fuck off, they would never work

8. lily/pandora/mary: 6/10

i think there is potential here for something soft and sweet but i would only read this ship if one of them was evil and out to hurt the other two.

9. mary/marlene/dorcas: 1/10

i just cannot see marlene with mary like at all. i actually don’t even think these two would be friends post hogwarts based on their personalities. i think they would seriously annoy each other

10. lucius/snape: 8/10

again so much angst potential. i’ve read this ship a few times, it used to pop a lot as a background ship so i would often see it, and i feel like it can work but there has to be discussions about power dynamics here for it to read well. i prefer snape with a non-magical oc personally

you didn’t ask for full explanations but you’re getting them anyway

[rodolfoparras]

Sorry if I’m spamming you. My hyperfixation on Price is strong rn, and I have no one irl to talk to him about (although I may have convinced one friend to be on the Price hype train)

Anyways, the way you ended the outdoor date kinda sparked something in my mind.

So after the lovely time of fucking cuddling in the woods, y’all wake up the next morning, hella hungover, but the memories of last night are very clear. You knew you were gonna have a hangover so you made sure to pack some medicine. Y’all drive back to base after packing up everything from last night. You both take the rest of the day off and relax in your quarters. But the next day is when the fun begins.

You guys clean up and decide to get breakfast in the mess hall. Y’all sit with the rest of the 141, and them and a bunch of other soldiers are snickering. You finally look at Price and realize what they are laughing about. Price’s neck has a couple pretty obvious hickies on it.

Idk where to take it but I think it’s a little funny if the others see their mighty captain covered in marks from his sergeant

-🤠

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT SPAMMING PLS genuinely feel free to send in price thoughts I love love love listening to them 🥹

When price wakes up he feels on top of the world, a smile already tugging on his lips when he sees you sleeping next to him,!he feels happy content his heart full, for many years he’d pinned for his best friend and hed finally gotten him, he cuddles closer into your arms slings his own arm around your waist head buried in your neck his smile only growing when he feels you tighten your hold on him

He accidentally dozes off again but when he wakes up he’s met with your smiling face gentle fingers carding through his hair and hoarse voice greeting him good morning he manages a croaked morning in response heat creeping up his cheeks when he feels just how soar his throat is as if you already know what he’s thinking you smirk at him and he playfully slaps you in response

You spend a couple more minutes of making out whispering I love you’s and holding each other tightly when the two of you get back on base everyone can see something has changed usually you’re glued at the hip but now it seems like you can’t part from price, if you’re eating at the mess hall you’ve got an arm slung around his shoulder if you’re at practice with the boys you’re standing awfully close to each other whispering something inaudible and laughing, someone even stumbled onto the two of you sharing a cigar at night while standing awfully close to each other

But the worst is when price shows up to a meeting thinking he’s done a good job at covering the marks on him only for soap to playfully point out a spot on his neck something that earns him a glare from the older man as heat creeps up his face

You don’t say anything but it doesn’t take much to figure that you’re the cause for it especially when you’re smiling down at the plate in front of you

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi – hey bestie, you’ve done it again – I wasn’t sure it could get more heartbreaking than the last one and yet!

As always, the writing is- well, it’s everything.

The parallels between high school them and college them was immaculate, and I so wish Paige could have fulfilled her dream of kissing Azzi under the confetti, but alas, maybe in another universe 😉

I loved the little exchange about UConn and California, and how that possibility was always there but Paige could just never accept it.

P and UConn winning the natty this year – it had to happen in at least one universe, so thank you for letting it happen in this one.

Side note: Drew and Paige interactions are always top tier, and very much the type of momentary fluff that I needed to break up the sadness while reading.

Side note 2: I love that I don’t even need to imagine what Azzi wearing Paige’s jersey would look like, but I’m glad ucla au Paige got to experience it too 🥹

The celebration with the team was so cute and of course it would be KK that basically helps break the ice (and her lil innocent “you should bring her around more often” 🥺). Also, all the little moments Az got with everyone else in the team was so wholesome, and ofc queen Nika being a loveable menace who’s always just looking out for her twin.

Side note 3: I love love love the two piggyback moments haha, just because that’s so pazzi core to me idk, I feel like there’s been a lot of photos where Azzi is piggybacking Paige irl, like that’s very much their thing so I adored seeing it incorporated here. But then, the ending. I knew it was coming, but it certainly did not make it hurt any less when we got there. “Fuck,” Paige’s voice is still wracked with sleep, “I thought you left.” “That’s more your style,” Azzi says – this was particularly heartbreaking, but I can’t really blame Azzi, even if P is trying so hard to make things right.

Overall, I may or may not have been tearing up throughout the entire chapter, and it somehow hit me even harder the second time I read through it? I think that’s just testament to your writing tbh.

Thoughts on what’s next:

Do things finally start getting better? It can’t get any worse, can it? (famous last words) 😅

I did wonder actually, whether you’d have them win or lose the natty, only because if they did win which obviously they did here (thank you), could that maybe change P’s mind at all on declaring or not?

I’m guessing she obviously sticks to her og decision and stays, and so I’m super intrigued on what might come next for them.

Like will they try going back to being just friends? Even though they’ve already tried and failed and knowing that would never be enough for Paige. But can they really not be in each other’s lives??

Will they try seeing other people again??

Summer’s coming up in the timeline and they’ve never spent an entire summer apart, so what will they do this summer? 😔 Or will we have a big time jump?

So many questions, and only you have the answers, Nivi.

Favourite lines/quotes:

The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige thinks that so much has changed, but Azzi’s still that kind of beautiful

“Do you know what my answer would have been?” “Yeah,” Azzi says softly, squeezing her hands, “yeah I do.”

Alternate lyrics that came to mind while reading:

Talk about our future like we had a clue. Never planned that one day, I'd be losing you.

In another life, I would be your girl. We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world.

Oh, and in honour of your love for Taylor, a Taylor lyric that came to mind was specifically this:

And I can go anywhere I want. Anywhere I want, just not home - mainly from the perspective of Paige getting almost everything she’s ever wanted, except the thing she wants most.

PS: I don’t really listen to Taylor’s music much anymore (nothing negative, just a shift in my music tastes these past couple of years!), but if there’s anything you think I should definitely give a listen to from her latest album, let me know!

As always, thank you for all you do for us. Have a wonderful weekend 💗

Much love, -🙋‍♀️

Hi bestie, one thing about me is that I will find a way to make it worse! 🤪

Thank you my sweets, it always means the world <3

I'm glad you caught that because I wanted to hint at the idea that it wasn't just a random decision of Azzi's part to choose UCLA and that she'd always been considering it.

If I can add Drew and Paige interactions, best believe I will find a way to do it. That's another relationship that's so precious to me.

Shoutout to the one anon who asked for Azzi to wear Paige's jersey in the universe as well because I took that and ran with it so I hope they liked it, because I liked their idea (come say hi!)

The team scene was one my favorites to write honestly, especially just in general KK is so fun to write because she's so fun and I need my chaotic family (Paige-Azzi-KK-Ice) to be a thing in every universe.

YES the piggybacks are just so Pazzi-core and I know this is an au but I like to take things from what we already know about them and just tweak it to keep some semblance of realism. Also piggyback are just really cute and Paige seems like the kind to beg literally anyone to carry her anyways

Things will get better because I actually don't know if they can get worse (actually they probably could but it might be hard to come back from lol) but things getting better is gonna take a lot

See if Paige changes her mind and declares, things become easy for them with her going to LA and I'm not in the business of making things easy for them lol

You think I have the answer to these question but truly what I write is just as much a mystery of where my inspiration will take to me as it is to you. So we'll see but we're on the ascent upwards, so no more other people lol!

I LOVE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY SO MUCH!!

As for Taylor, the new album's pretty good babes if you wanna go listen! Lowkey a lot of the songs work pretty well with this fic lmao. But my favorites are loml and Fortnight I think.

Always love your detailed takes on the new parts and just seeing you in my inbox always makes me smile <3

[britcision]

I had the funniest fucking dream and also I am now mid-sad

So my sister and I, we do not get along irl; never did as kids, everyone said “oh you’ll be best friends once you’re grown up”, we do not speak to each other even both at the same family dinner

(This is not what the sad is for it’s stage setting)

So I dreamed we were setting up her wedding (and true to life, I did not like her, but I was helping out and doing my best) and one of the tasks involved in this planning was going to dinner in a restaurant

(I am immunocompromised, this has happened to me twice in five years and only with precautions)

I was not allowed precautions

But a couple tables away were two large tables fucking DROWNING in large and noisy men

And for some reason I immediately recognised these loud and noisy men; they were my brothers, and we were angels - not as in good things, as in Supernatural style bullshit, and I’d skipped out right at the beginning and none of them saw me since

Note: human family not aware of any of this

And I knew they’d all be super happy to see me, and know I was okay, and if it was all of them at once they’d probably try and make me come back with them

But you know what else?

One on one I could probably get them to do anything I wanted cuz they missed me

(This has never been a lived experience this is the sad)

So I waited til one got up, wandered past and asked if we could chat while the others were busy arguing, and we snuck off outside

And he kept trying to drag me back but I just kept walking towards the church and told him if he went back for the others he’d only lose track of me so he folded and we just kept hanging out and chatting

And so as to avoid detection and comment, he disguised himself as a decorative backdrop I was carrying around to set up

And that was working great, we chatted a lot about the family and getting home and I had to explain how weddings work

And the ceremony started and everything was EXTREMELY physically all over the place so I got the brother to make a flashlight for me that we pretended was part of the backdrop and I had to “focus” it to keep the light big and illuminating my sister as we chased her around

(This took the form of poking and muttering at said brother to stop being a little bitch and pretending I was adjusting a lens)

And then it was time to go find my Nana and set up to record sister leaving the church with her spouse

So I casually abandoned backdrop-brother somewhere and went back to the restaurant to steal another one

(I think one of the others clocked me while I was kidnapping)

And again we got outside and we were chatting and he was asking what I’d done all this time and I couldn’t stop giggling as I told him what I’d done with backdrop-brother

(Sister had now picked him up and was carrying him around and having a lovely time)

And asked other brother to help me find my human grandmother

And he was helping, and then we witnessed Drama. Because we saw my Nana, and we saw the groom’s dad deliberately redirect her away from the doors

And obviously I was ECSTATIC, now it’s a wedding there is WEDDING DRAMA

(Pretty sure father-of-the-groom was actually disinvited from the real wedding or nearly disinvited for cheating so it tracks)

And I was explaining the concept of wedding drama to my other brother while we hunted down Nana aaaaand contemplating rescuing backdrop-brother from my sister

And then the rest of the angel siblings caught up and kept trying to sweep me away, but now there was Wedding Drama and we were Intrinsically Involved so we couldn’t leave and I just kept the walk-purposefully-so-you-look-like-you-belong hack going

And we got through the wedding, got all of the shots, eventually rescued backdrop-brother and brought him somewhere he could get out of disguise, and generally had a lovely time

And then I woke up and I didn’t wanna but I’m not allowed to go back to sleep cuz I have already had so much and I’m not allowed more, says my brain

(i was asleep for about 3 hours)

And I’ve just. Never had anyone miss me to the point where I could lead them on a crazy adventure and they’d just go with it

I do semi-regularly grab people and go on crazy adventures, don’t get me wrong, but that’s because they also want crazy adventures, not just because they loved me

And it was nice having siblings who cared and wanted me around

[lovesick-boyz]

hi.

well… after being stalked and harassed for the past couple of months, i am finally back!! stay tuned lol i got some fics lined up for y’all 😁

anyway if you read that first line and thought to yourself “WTF?!?”, here is the full story for my curious readers (just a warning, it’s long and i rant a lot):

a couple of months ago, i started getting tagged by random accs on tiktok and insta that posted vids accusing me of the most random and heinous shit. honestly, it just baffled me the first time i saw them bc they made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

when the first ones popped up, i just blocked them thinking it was a random troll and went on with my life.

but then i kept getting spammed by other accs with new posts where they not only involved me but also my friends, and accused us as a friend group of being horrible ppl.

i had enough (i can’t even remember how many accs i blocked) and deleted ALL my social media apps for a while (i.e. more than a couple of months, oops) and basically isolated myself from ppl so that i could focus on other things to distract me (i ended up making daily exercise a habit so ig that’s one good thing that’s come out of this lol, i also rewatched all the marvel movies in timeline order hehe). i wish i continued writing so i could’ve at least had more content to share by now, but i was feeling so negative and pissed that i couldn’t even bring myself to write anything (i even uninstalled notion from my phone and that’s where i keep all my drafts and fic ideas)

i only found out the full situation less than a week ago when i reinstalled tiktok bc i missed it, only to find more burner accs harassing me. i finally had enough so i reinstalled insta to rant about it on my spam acc for my friends to see and to my surprise a couple of them knew who it was and explained the whole situation to me.

it was my first time interacting with ppl outside of my family in months lol, when i tell y’all i isolated myself i really did mean it 🙃 my irl friends didn’t even know anything out of the ordinary was happening bc i’m notorious in my friend group for going off the grid for months at a time bc of how bad my mental health gets sometimes, they know to just let me be and let me deal with it alone bc they understand that’s how i work best. (they won’t see this bc they don’t know this tumblr exists but i wanna apologise to my dear friends for my disappearing acts, my bad, i love y’all for being so understanding and still being my friend after all this time 🫶🏼)

anyway, it turns out the culprit was this guy that my friend had rejected previously and he’s so bitter and hateful that he decided to harass me bc he knew i was one of her bffs (the ppl he targeted were the ones in her closest friend group which included me)

but here’s the kicker: I’VE ONLY TALKED TO THIS GUY TWICE!! AND EACH TIME WE TALKED FOR LESS THAN 5 MINS ABOUT IRRELEVANT SHIT!!! WHY AM I INVOLVED?? YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

when my friend found out she was so surprised and appalled that he was harassing me too, bc him, my friend, and the other ppl he targeted all go to the same college together (and i’m the only one in the friend group that goes to a different college, so to reiterate once again: this guy barely knows me! the last time we spoke was at my friends bday party 3 years ago!! he’s literally insane!)

she knew he was harassing my other friends since they’re all in the same school and know him in person, she didn’t think i would be involved too and i couldn’t believe i was.

anyway, i just wanted to rant about this whole thing bc i’m having a hard time processing it tbh. i hope that guy rots in hell and also finds a job there bc he was acting hella unemployed like who has time for this? he made me feel so confused and paranoid for weeks and i hope he gets all the karma he deserves in the universe.

y’all wanna know something funny tho? i started writing a changmin stalker fic in june, way before this whole situation happened. life imitates art ig 🤪 anyway i finally finished it and i’m gonna release that fic next after i fine tune it, at least now it’ll be somewhat realistic lmaoooo

[flowercrown-bard]

thank you for the tag, @lokibus💕

Name: Riya (i also went by Valentine for a while with some friends and i really like that name but no one calls me that anymore)

Sign: taurus

Time: 20:46

Last movie: uhh good question. I started watching Pride and Prejudice (2005) yesterday and got distracted after 5 min by remembering that apparently jeans were worn in that time period already and then i had to google some stuff. The last movie i remember watching in full was Barbie at the cinema where i can't just gez distracted and turn the movie off lmao

Last show: season 2 of atla but in a language i don't speak bc that was the only version i found on YouTube (I own the dvds but i dont have a way to use them with my laptop)

When I created this blog: idk. I think the year before Covid? Or maybe shortly before it? What even is time

Other blogs: i got two. One i only used for a secret santa thingy so i won't reveal it in case i need a secret santa blog again. And then there is @brotfrevel. I created that blog when i was very deep into my ed and not comfortable with talking about it where people i know irl might see. I had this little project where each day that i resisted my i healthy habits, i added one element to an embroidery project (I'm happy to announce that I got much much better and the result of this silly little project is now a constanz reminder of that on my wall)

Do I get asks/may you ask me something: i love getting asks! (I've just been really inactive lately so if i didn't answer, I'm sorry. I've literally not been on tumblr for more thwn like five minutes in the last month or so)

Average hours of sleep: something between 5-7 hours i think. I tend to wake up at 1:30 am and then I'm unable to fall back asleep for a while and then i wake up again at around 3:40. So no idea how much sleep i actually get

Instruments: singing, guitar and violin. And technically i have my grandpa's old mandolin and know enough chords to play a couple of songs but the stings haven't been replaced in over 40 years and it's horribly out of tune so i don't play

What I’m wearing: yellow turtleneck sweater (an old one from my sister), an ugly but super comfy jacket (i think it's an old one from my other sister), jeans, pink socks with bees and I'm also gonna count the comfy blanket I'm wrapped into

Dream job: i meany I'd love to publish a book one day and have at least one person buy it but that's pretty unrealistic. So I'll go with being a kindergarten teacher

Tagging (no pressure): @combatbootsfemme @parttime-creative @dhwty-writes @mondglocke @lycanbucky @rebard-main

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Hey if you wanna do the thing too, here goes:

❤️🧡🤍🩷💜A WLW ASK MEME❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 List the top 10 ladies you’ve been obsessed with Ever Of All Time! Then send this on to 5 sapphic mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

I VERY MUCH want to do the thing, thank you!!!

This list is not gonna be in a preference order because if I tried to do that I wouldn't ever stop crying. Also I have been documentedly obsessive about IRL women hello Mackenzie Davis I am free on Thursday but to avoid sounding creepy this list will be composed of fictional characters. I burst into tears writing every single entry on here because I am so normal about women lol.

tl;dr here is the list:

Laura Kinney (Marvel Comics)

Princess Amelia "Mia" Mignonette Thermopolis Grimaldi Renaldo (The Princess Diaries)

Elizabeth Swann-Turner King of Pirates (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13)

Bennett Halverson (Dollhouse)

Daisy "Skye" Johnson (Agents of SHIELD)

Natasha Romanov (Marvel Comics / Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Rogue (X-Men / Marvel Comics)

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb series)

Cinderpelt (Warriors)

with honorable mentions to Cameron Howe (Halt and Catch Fire) and Amelia Pond (Doctor Who) because there simply was not enough room!

Laura Kinney (Marvel Comics) - I started reading superhero comics at 16, when a friend at school gave me access to her collection. I have also, since I was too young to articulate it, been drawn to stories about "human weapons," particularly women. (Literally only a couple of years ago it occurred to me that perhaps growing up in fundiegelical culture, which is prone to calling its congregants "warriors for Christ" and using a lot of rhetoric about "God's soldiers," might have had an influence on this preference! I May Be Stupid etc.) Laura Kinney is the female clone of Wolverine, but she has two claws on each hand and a foot claw (yes it’s the kid in Logan, though they changed some stupid shit in that version). I first met her at 16, randomly picking up X-23: Innocence Lost at a Borders one evening and immediately being sucked into the story of a teenager who knows nothing but violence, except for the sole person who sees her as human (Sarah, her surrogate mother). Laura’s comic backstory is fucked-up in a way Marvel really leaned into with their 00s characters - she was forced to slaughter her own mother! then she was a victim of child sex trafficking! then she tried to have a normal life but her past came back to haunt her and she was forced to leave behind everyone she loved to keep them safe! - and I don’t think most of it holds up great, except for Target X which is cute because she and her cousin skip school and steal a car to be normal kids for a day. Anyway! I loved her immediately because in my teen brain, this character was one I could truly read EVERYTHING about, and ever since she has been my daughter. Marjorie Liu wrote an amazing series for her in 2011-12 which had her become Gambit’s little sister and Jubilee’s girlfriend bff, and Liu is to this day the writer I have seen do the most interesting stuff with her. She at one point was using Wolverine as a code name and she got a little sister, Gabby, and that was also good. Anyway, she’s the ur-example of “child weapon learns how to be a person” and also she’s angry and sad and doing her best and I love her the most.

Princess Amelia "Mia" Mignonette Thermopolis Grimaldi Renaldo (The Princess Diaries) - While I very much enjoy and am fond of the films, my Mia Thermopolis is the one in the book series. I first read these at 13, and immediately I recognized Mia as a kindred spirit. Mia in the books is riddled with anxiety and self-doubt, prone to people-pleasing but will push back if she reaches her limits, passionate and loyal to sometimes self-sabotaging degrees, and a connoisseur of pop culture. Every time I open a Princess Diaries book, I feel like I’m hanging out with my best friend, and to me she is. A dream of mine is to make a character that feels as real and dear to readers as Mia feels to me. I am not and never have been great at doing “girl” (hi, butch), but Mia was and is a glimpse into a world that I always felt on the outside of. The books are certainly not perfect but I will never get tired of hanging out with Mia.

Elizabeth Swann-Turner King of Pirates (Pirates of the Caribbean) - I got into these movies kind of late, just before the third one came out, but Pirates was one of the most significant fandoms I have ever been in. It taught me about meta, how to analyze subtext, and how to multiship. Elizabeth was a big part of that, being a cool bitch who got to fight and did not take shit from anyone and was also part of a ship full of Yearning. I used to think I had a crush on Will and that’s why I was so into the ship but…no it was Elizabeth. I wanted to be in Will’s place so I could kiss Elizabeth! She’s smart and capable and passionate, and when you’re 16 that corset line sounds really cool, sorry. And she’s the Pirate King and gets a badass rallying speech. Also she gets to wear a sick pirate coat in At World’s End, which is less questionable for me, a Chinese person, to be wearing, and my mother-in-law made a dream come true and made it for me. As far as I’m concerned she was only stationed on that island for as long as it took for baby Liam to be transportable, and then she put him in a sling and ran around being a fucking awesome pirate king again. (Movie 5 does not exist to me, nor does “Henry,” his name is Liam, thank you for understanding.)

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13) - I actually did NOT start watching this show for the gay content, I started because one of my college roommates/best friends was enjoying it and we both found it deeply charming. I actually thought Claudia was going to be my favorite, but Myka quickly took that spot in my heart. I found her deeply relatable, as someone who tends to keep myself pretty emotionally distant until I trust someone, and as a fellow Bad at Being a Girl sufferer. Myka starts the show wary of everyone, but wanting to do her best, and she slowly begins to let her new team in and start to trust them. One of my favorite Myka things is how well she knows herself and what she wants. And of course there's the HG of it all - her insistence on saving and trusting HG even after she betrayed them the first time is so indicative of how much she wants to believe in people. I really hate what this show did to her by the end, because to me it was devastating to watch this incredible, self-assured woman turn into somebody who apparently had feelings for her self-admitted brother figure and whose entire arc was about that now?? It sucked!! But anyway, that's not what I think of when I think of Myka. I think of her hitting Pete with a snowball and then doing a little hop of joy.

Bennett Halverson (Dollhouse) - Bennett is the reason I met my wife, and she is also played by Summer Glau, who I rarely post about anymore but who is involved in multiple shows that are part of my heart, so Bennett had to go on this list. She was one of the most significant characters that fell into my "angry and sad" women niche, as her whole thing is that she's out for revenge against the girl who broke her heart. AND YES SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH CAROLINE I HAVE RECEIPTS. (god this essay is TWELVE years old?? nobody @ me if it's bad) I love Bennett because she's me, or at least, a really stark portrait of the kind of person I could have become in a similar situation. Bennett feels like an outcast and Caroline seems to be the first person who ever showed her positive attention, to a degree that clearly turned romantic on Bennett's side. She's also devoted to Caroline to a degree that is objectively unhealthy ("You're not pissed because I used you?" "I'm hurt that you wont") and her memories of Caroline leaving her are colored by her misunderstanding of why she did it; Caroline was trying to protect her and take the fall for what happened, but Bennett didn't see it that way at all. I am very...dramatic...in my head and 1000% I would've been like that in a similar situation. It's really good B and I met each other and are obsessed with each other exactly the same amount because we would be terrible partners for anybody else. Anyway, Bennett's fucked up and I love her so much and Bennett/Caroline is why I'm like this now.

Daisy "Skye" Johnson (Agents of SHIELD) - If I were pressed to pick one favorite character, period, it would almost certainly be Daisy. SHIELD and I have had a special relationship from the moment it was first announced; if you look I still have a few posts tagged "s.h.i.e.l.d." and a minor regret of my life is that I was too late to get into the pilot screening at SDCC '13. Anyway, similarly to Myka, Daisy wasn't my immediate pic for favorite, but she quickly became my favorite, especially when I found out Chloe Bennet is also a "Chinese dad white mom" girl like me. I called it from the first character bio that she would be divisive, and she was, because fandom is horrible, but to me she is the best character. I wrote an entire essay about how much it means to me that she's biracial, even if I do not love the Inhumans stuff necessarily. But I remember spending the first season and a half desperately wishing for her to be biracial, and then she was! And she's also so funny and brave and kind and angry and sad and good above all else, she does her best to be a good person. I recognize a lot of my worst tendencies in some of hers; B and I joke that sometimes I will "drive off in emotional van" when I try to shut down and process big shit by myself. But I also relate to her in a lot of positive ways as well: we're both deeply loyal, passionate and hopeful. When they teased someone being killed off in the s3 finale, I literally had a panic attack the morning of the finale at the thought of losing her. When the show finally ended, I was happy she survived and even happier that they had her reconcile with her mom and her surprise sister, and now she and Kora and Danny are hanging out in space and sometimes Daisy goes home to hang out with her girlfriend Jemma. If she never comes back in MCU canon, I'll take that ending for her.

Natasha Romanov (Marvel Comics / Marvel Cinematic Universe) - WELL SPEAKING OF CHARACTERS WHO GOT FUCKED OVER LOL. Never mind the Scarlett Johansson of it all, I love Natasha with a tenacity approaching lunacy. (Not as much as my friend Amy, because Nat is her most special blorbo, but almost that much, I think!) Once again: Natasha is a living weapon character who is emotionally closed off and snarky and also very angry and sad, and also she was one of like 3 women in the MCU in the beginning so of course I became obsessed with her. Her comic counterpart is a little different, of course, but the same notes are there, and once again Marjorie Liu wrote the best arc for her (The Name of the Rose, which deals with themes of motherhood and infertility way better than some films I could name). Some of my love for her is me truly putting my hard-earned fandom analysis skills to work with the pittance of canon information I have to work with, and some of it is the five months I spent writing an AU where she didn't die in Endgame and also she and Laura Barton were polyamorous that whole time. (I did a lot of sobbing in the car when I found out about her death, and I'm resolved to never watch Endgame again.) That fic is my tribute to her, so I guess if you want to know all my feelings, go read it.

Rogue (X-Men / Marvel Comics) - Rogue was the X-Men character I imprinted on when I watched the movies at 16 (hey is that a pattern I see here?) because she was sad and emo and, although I didn't know it at the time, I wanted to kiss it better. I affectionately refer to Anna Paquin Rogue as "Diet Coke Rogue" because she's a very bad interpretation of the character, but also I love her. My favorite version of Rogue is actually in the X-Men: Evolution cartoon, where they made her an angry and sad goth (again: pattern) but with her usual reserve and level of sass. But I love every version of her, and I can't wait to watch the new cartoon because I have been sorely lacking in Rogue lately and I miss her. If I can't pick Laura, Rogue is my favorite X-Men character always and forever. Also, I felt so strongly about her and Gambit that I made a 40-part powerpoint presentation to explain their love story to B, while I was on a road trip with my family. This was one of our notable courtship gifts because she had also imprinted on Diet Coke Rogue and I needed her to understand how epic Rogue and Gambit's relationship is. Someday we will cosplay as them.

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb series) - The newest entry, but she made it on here by dint of being, well, so intensely relatable. I too am an awkward butch with a praise kink raised in a weird dead-end religion who falls to pieces in the presence of a pretty girl, whose brain is completely full of jokes and memes to cover up my various damages, and who is so bad at expressing my feelings to the object of my affection that I spent literal years pining after them only to do something exceedingly reckless to try and prove my love (I did not kill myself so they could use my corpse, but it was equally stupid and dramatic, and I have a 1/2 success rate - one of them was a guy, long story). Gideon Nav is Weird Girl turned up to 1000 and I love her for it. I am very short and chubby and not at all muscly, but I love cosplaying as her because in our souls we are the same. If we never see her again I will not recover.

Cinderpelt (Warriors) - I am genuinely not sure if I've ever explained Cinderpelt on this blog, so here's a quick summary: Cinderpelt is the first apprentice of the POV character Fireheart, and quickly endears herself to everyone by being enthusiastic and clever. She wants to be the best warrior ever. As an apprentice, she is hit by a car and survives, but her leg is injured severely enough that she is unable to continue warrior training, so she pivots to becoming a medicine cat. (Yes, Warriors is very ableist and this is not even in the top 5 worst examples.) We don't get a ton of insight from Cinderpelt on her thoughts about this until she's a bit older, but basically she determines that she will ensure the Clan is protected and cared for just as valiantly as she would have as a warrior. She becomes one of Fireheart/star's closest friends, and a constant source of comfort and wisdom throughout the first two series. Somewhere in there, I decided she was my favorite character. Enter series 2 book 5, Twilight (I am almost 15 when it comes out), which features a climactic battle as badgers invade the ThunderClan camp while Cinderpelt's best friend Sorreltail goes into labor. The way I remember it is Cinderpelt kicking absolute ass to protect her friend and maybe killing at least one badger, but I think I may have edited this to be more epic in my mind. ANYWAY she dies from her wounds and I cry for like an hour. In the next book, it is revealed that StarClan (cat heaven) thought Cinderpelt was so cool that they wanted her to have a second chance, and she got reincarnated as Cinderkit. I think this is maybe where the mythology really went off the rails objectively, but you won't convince me it was anything but beautiful. Now she lives as Cinderheart, who had her own journey through rehabilitating an injury but has become a badass and respected warrior herself. (There is also some bullshit about Cinderpelt having been in love with Fireheart lalalala I do not care she is a cool bitch and more than her relationships!)

[tickle-her-senseless]

Hi, I have a question where do you typically me some lees

Hiya. The first couple of people I played with approached me here on Tumblr. It’s happened once or twice since then, but I was never the one to suggest playing IRL. It’s also happened a couple of times on Fetlife, but nowadays I’m on a brilliant Discord server that’s become the main social hub for the UK tickle community. That’s been brilliant, honestly. By the time I meet anyone from there, we’ve already spent months playing games, hanging in voice calls, laughing at memes and connecting over shared interests that we’re good friends before we even get the chance to play. It’s only with the Discord crew that I’ve ever felt comfortable enough to be the one suggesting a session, and that’s because I know them well enough by then to be virtually certain that they’ll say yes.

I’d always recommend socialising and becoming friends first - and genuinely so. Some people seem to drop into lees’ inboxes with a polite greeting and air of “oh I’m not like those other lers” but the whole time they’re trying to judge how much small talk they need to play along with before they can force the conversation around to tickling. “What do you mean you won’t send feet pics?! I just talked to you about college and your cat for an hour!” I think they’re actually worse than the “hI cUtIe, ArE tHoSe FeEt TiCkLiSh?” brigade, since they possess the patience to waste an evening of someone’s life before revealing themselves to be huge disappointments.

I’m not trying to be sanctimonious or make out that I’m morally above thinking “Man, I wish I could meet a lee to play with” where the lee is just a nondescript cute ticklish woman in my mind - I’ve definitely been there in the past. It’s just that years of experience have shown me that it’s far better when you know the person pretty well first. No awkwardness or unpleasant surprises, a pre-existing banter dynamic, and the session will be infinitely better as you’ll be in sync and bouncing off each other. When I meet one of my lee friends, I look forward to tickling them to both our hearts’ content, of course, but also catching up with their news, eating together (maybe cooking together as a way to chill after the session), watching Netflix, whatever. Most of the times I see them, we don’t even play. In a couple of weeks I’m going to see a friend from the scene in the Midlands and we’re literally just going to grab lunch, play mini golf and hang out at Geek Retreat playing games, no tickling at all - I’m really looking forward to it!

Hope that’s useful anyway. Discord has been the way to go, for sure, and there are plenty of tickling servers out there. I was hoping to meet people to play with and ended up with a healthy social life for the first time ever 😊