#I wish I had more self confidence | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

teethpaste · 11 months ago

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I have so much travel coming up

Ireland 12/15-12/27 (for fun, staying with my family)

supposed to have someone I’ve never met visit me the beginning of Jan but that’s not planned and it’s stressssssing me out bc of work. I have colleagues taking January days and we have a huge event in hawaii that needs coverage leading up to the Congress. I can’t just take days last minute. Technically there’s a whole month - but I’m out for two weeks in Ireland and would be immediately coming back to take MORE PTO .. so I need to know :( I am trying not to be a bother. I feel like I’m pestering so much and it not being reciprocated makes me anxious hahahaahahahah. I’m sure it will b fine but like 🥲🙃. Idk how many ways I can paraphrase if we can’t book it before Ireland it can’t happen and that will hurt my lil heart. Suppose I’ll know the fate of this by this same time next week.

Hawaii 1/21-1/27

DC 2/22-2/26

San Diego 3/7-3/12

Doesn’t account for the lil personal trips I’d like to take. Hawaii, DC, San Diego are all for work. It’s nuts to me that after this person and I meet will determine like - so much of how I want to spend my 2024. I’m so nervous. It will change things so much if it goes well or if it goes bad. I really hope it goes well. I have so many trips aligned to their city in 2024 that it would be nice to be able to go to California for free. But like if they hate me IRL ( I know they won’t hate me but if they aren’t attracted to me/there isn’t chemistry … I need to not be aligned to those California meetings lmao) Also in Q2 all my global travel starts which like …. I can’t wait for Japan! Spain! Germany! But traveling for work is really exhausting. I signed up for it but I need to get back in the right mindset. Right now I just feel .. scared lol

It sounds lame to complain about travel to all these places but it’s hard living out of a suitcase, being taken away from my gym routine (I’ve lost 27 lbs since March, 23 more to go!!!), having to work on other projects while onsite for your current one … maybe I’m just having a hard time bc of how this year has gone. Even when I get on a plane, the grief comes with me. I will feel so much better after January

#travel #rant #getting crushed 2 death by a crush is soooo fun #but I am just a lil anxious gal with big feelings #everything will b ok no matter what bc it has to b #I wish I had more self confidence #lately being out in the wild I get hit on and I’m not on apps so I know these interactions are genuine but I can’t help but worry they’re #gonna meet me and not be attracted to me!#and I like them so much I just want it to work #fckkkkkk #Ireland #Washington DC #Hawaii

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sysig · 1 month ago

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for requestober ! my heart's been aching for yanderapy for a while and i would like to get something about them :3 i don't have a specific prompt . i do like to see them more on the angsty-unhealthy-relationship side lol like some of the requests you made last year . overall , just seeing anything about them would be nice . X3

Day 1 - Sodium Chloride Couple

#My art #Requestober #Yanderapy #First req of the year is my boys!! I am blessed!! 💕 Thank you for thinking of them <3 #Hopefully this will sate your desires enough - it's not exactly angsty but I did try to bring in a bit of their weirdness lol #Y'know that one post that's just accidentally recreating the Homestuck shipping quadrant?#I still know very little about Homestuck but does Kismesis do anything to make the two chill out or is it just aimed at each other lol #Personally I really like the concept of a sodium chloride couple! That two people match each other's freak just right and become harmless #Because that's these two so much!! They're perfect for each other on accident (on purpose) and make each other better!#Ishida would ask too much and Mitsu would give too much if they were with different people #But their tendencies balance each other out - make them realize they're going too far because of what they see in the other #That and they genuinely like each other <3 They want to improve the other both selfishly and altruistically #Selfishly because then they get the best version of the other all to themselves hehe <3 #But altruistically because they wish for each other's happiness and gain confidence in their ability to grant it #They're good for each other's self esteem! Although Ishi was already pretty self-confident before they got together haha #He feels happier and more whole with Micchan tho <3 Like he wants to - and can be! - his best self for and with him #All the mushy-gushyness on them being silly together lol - clearly it's been too long since I've doodled them I'm rambly ♪#Had a lot of fun with the hands here :) Ishi holding Mitsu's face so delicately ♫#They probably could (and probably do lol) switch who's got what and be just as happy #They just enjoy being together and making each other all head-silly haha <3 Not hard for either to achieve ♪

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musubiki · 7 months ago

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hello! quick question, i know this is very soon after you posted the comic of young lime trying to bully mochi, and i’m sorry if a question like this has been asked before, but when mochi sees the candy bits and is able to recognize what spells they could be used in and the effects they have, is that from studying magic a lot or is it like a natural identification ability/instinct that she has? thank you!! i hope you have a good day :)

oh thats a great question actually!!!! it comes from studying!!!!

as a kid she was already trying to be a very diligent witch-to-be!! she would spend a lot of time with her mom while she was making spells, so between reading a lot of spellbooks + hanging out when her mom was making potions + wanting to be like her mom, shes good at spotting things that could be used in spells even from an early age!!

(that being said, as a kid she still messed up a lot on the right ingredients. shed bring home random items and be like "I got us spell ingredients!!" and tiramisu would be like "Oh!! Thanks sweetie!!" and didnt have the heart to tell her that whatever she brought home was some useless piece of grass or something jkldj)

#i guess nothing is really USELESS to a witch but there are items that are like. dont really grab those #either cuz theyre abundant enough that you dont need to collect them or the effects are so weak its not worth it #baby mochi had such a passion for magic and was so excited to be a witch and have magic one day #but when she gets magic and works with it she gets hella discouraged #she frequently wishes she had the mind of her 5 year old self who was so full of enthusiasm #but she messes up so much as a witch and its so exhausting it becomes more like a chore #like how you have a childhood dream of being an astronomer or artist something #but once you grow up you face so many struggles pursuing it you lose the love for it #magic burnout is mochis character arc #she finds herself again eventually and becomes confident in magic #but in a more mature way that uses it responsibly and loves it for what it really is #and less like her baby self that wanted to make cookies and fireworks appear out of thin air #the tags got serious but the question was cute #i hope you have a good day too!!!!!!!!!!!#new thing i never touched on: mochi character arc #you see hints of it in the webtoon though. its rough for her starting out. pom was not easy on her #but i think its the kind of familiar she needed

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hotsugarbyglassanimals · 1 year ago

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couple years ago some straight guy tried convincing me Im Actually Bisexual cause some lesbian who was having relationship problems fucked him and he wanted more of that I guess . and its like dude, youre messing with the entirely wrong type of dyke . i cant change sexualities just cause you wanna fuck me LOL . as if I wanted to dump my hot and beautiful gf over some guy wearing a hoodie and sweatpants

#im fairly certain the gal he fucked was self harming through that #dude had no class whatsoever #i wish i had more confidence to be a meanass dyke back then #im way too polite to a fault #anyway he would not last a day with me #lotta cishet dudes would not wanna get fucked in the ass LOL #not saying other lesbians would be swayed by that shit but its like . you want to try fucking the stone top? really ?#the audacity of some men #well at least he knew what lesbian means LOL

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imflyingfish · 1 year ago

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Aggh feeling super proud of myself like im getting on so well atm im learning to drive and im learching french and my art is going really well and ive been enjoying spending time with myself and ive been organising more things for my future and now it feels possible and i hit that deadline and ive been more equiped to deal with things that definetly would have given me a breakdown in march and like. This year is going to suck and im not getting everything i want done but its not going terribly either

#ive had a lot of anxiety issues this last week #i dont have anxiety but i do get anxious most days but im able to get past it #but idk i had a session today and it was positive and it was good to catch up after last weeks was cancelled #theres some things i want to do more of like i want to learn more guitar and i need to do more revision but im also. im improving myself a #lot more #like after learning blender (althpugh ive forgotten now lol) anytime im like man i wish i could learn ____ im like... well i learned blende #its cheesy but its given me a LOT more self confidence in my skills both academic and creative #i sometimes feel that im fucking stupid but like. im also not #idk i just dont think im as far off as i thought #and im SUPER syced to be learning french and spanish #its a LOT more work than it was like last week but honestly i think im going to settle back into it #and im like. okay if i spend 4 years learning french/spanish. i may not be fluent #but i sure as hell wont be any worse #also i know like LOADS more spanish than i thought #anyway im super proud of myself for kicking myself into this #I watched a youtube intro in french and UNDERSTOOD IT IMMEDIETLY TODAY #well it took a bit of concentration but u know #and im watching and listenimg to french/spanish media and its really interesting and fun #my endurance in spanish is not as gpod as in french #and usually id type this out in either blog but my energy is just out for today #but i'll be listening to music and just hear words and its insane how much i can pick up while doing coursework or whatever its amazing #i feel annoying when i talk to other people about it but. oh well i sometimes just get so excited about it #im NOT good. but hey its been 4 months learning french and. about 3 days learning spanish lol

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nururu · 11 months ago

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Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears

vs.

chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all

vs.

ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair

#im gonna kms #its an every day issue #i dont have this problem when i have short hair #but i HATE feeling judged i get so hyperfocused on it and it makes me so sad and i cant cope w it tbh #its something i work tirelessly to change by trying to be mindful and not give a fuck but #its HARD #so many ppl express how much they like my long hair better and I just wish they'd keep it to themselves #bc now im like rlly insecure about having short hair again #idk.... i remember back in the day when i was working at the smoke shop and had short hair #there were a bunch of girls who would express how good it looked and how theyve always wanted short hair but #their face was too fat or it wouldnt look good on them #and i would encourage them and tell them if its what you want and it would make you happy then it will always suit you and look good #no one in this world has a “face” for short hair #all of our faces suit whatever hair we want for ourselves #but pol have this opinion based off of society constructed beauty standards #and will just outright way or imply #that you look better following those standards #i think ppl should find happiness and self confidence more attractive than adherence to beauty standards #i successfully convinced one of my coworkers and an old and younger customer to cut their hair short #and they were so bright and excited to show me after they did it #and i hyped them up to hell and back like it made me emotional bc it takes courage to embrace your happiness #despite others judgements #im just #not as brave anymore #im rlly tired tbh #anyways srry im just emotional bc my head hurts and im overstimulated from my hair touching my neck jshfjekduriwj

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void-tiger · 6 months ago

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…surely I can make it ‘til August.

(she says like a pining liar.)

#tiger’s roar #…granted…my pining really only acts up when like #hope is at play. stupid hope…#or…insecurity. either interpersonally or because gdi I just Really want to be soothed Right NOW by THAT person Sorta(ish) Here #…’Here’ being…relative. haven’t seen ya in literally months #aaaaaand it’s hard to keep myself from resenting ‘seriously? not even ONE weeked once a month?!’#but…whatever. you said you wanna be friends? then I’ll choose to believe you #…hard to have confidence in Sooner when. can I even fight my crappy self worth to write cover letters?#is that even a Good Idea when just. typing in an intake form…actually tired me out #will I ever be able to work a job. can I even be a student again #am I biting off more than I can do #…I really wish My Own Family will just SOOTHE already #but they only yell at me when I need that so.#and they can’t even show Enthusiasm for ANY Wins I’ve had along the way #…the most ‘supportive’ they know how to be is to Assist with transportation #and IDK staying out of my way. I GUESS.#…and yeah just. I would love to…somehow…see you.

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kavehater · 7 months ago

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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

#There’s this specific part of the song #It srsly alters my brain chemistry #Anyways #i hate tumblr sm #Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm #No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much #Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely #Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D #The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it #The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc #To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th #Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious #And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei #It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking #To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I #Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia #And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games #All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car #Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke #Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon #Like me go mad with all these things #Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily #Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable #Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more #Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻

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sassygaykuja · 8 months ago

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half tempted to filter out hazbin hotel because none of you can be normal about it

#ginn speaks #it isnt a masterpiece and it isnt the worst show ever #and yet somehow it has attracted both incredibly annoying fans and incredibly annoying haters #like i just know theres people out there who went in for a hatewatch and were just like. oh. its alright.#i liked it. its fun.#im not about to go out of my way to fight about it all the time tho #also i hail from the deviantart era i am immune to that flavor of cringe #embrace the cringe dont be a coward #ur middle school self had more fun drawing sparkledogs than you will ever have if you allow yourself to be consumed by fear of being cringe #i see hazbin hotel with its unabashed deviantart ocs saying curses and i say i wish i had that kind of confidence

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winepresswrath · 2 years ago

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None of this is changing how hype I am for NiF 3, which will apparently feature Wu Lei in some capacity.

#this rewatch really got me on the langya family front #i honestly wish we'd gotten more time with lin chen #mr who the fuck is lin shu himself #very fun contrast to jingyan #also I think if Jingyan had the chance to really see him with mcs he would die a thousand deaths #not even jealous just devastated #happy lin shu had a life and a person he could confide in a trust and uno #look after a kid with #who can offer him a life of freedom and adventure #and a dad who looks after him instead of uno. trying to murder him a bunch #agony! agony to see someone who looks at his beloved from the other side #don't worry baby u r all equal in his eyes #like in the eleventh hour we think woah is there someone mcs loves as an equal who doesn't need to be lied to and managed #whose devotion he doesn't run from? who he can stand to be honest with?#and then at the twelfth hour it's just like: nah #people who love lin shu love a dead man I need to be inviolate and untainted with what I've become #people who love Mei Changsu simply have bad taste and will be excited to meet my old self #who I can stand to inhabit for the purpose of dying #idk idk I really do just want him to sort his shit out #but I do think it's interesting that even in the happiest of endings #he can't be lin chen's wanderer and nihuang's husband and Jingyan's it's complicated all at once #pick two and it can't be lin chen and jingyan #the rancid polycule vibes of the previous generation are absolutely chasing them #consort jing like: love flourishes in unexpected places. build it where you can. and then there is my husband #objectively my worst and least favourite companion

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new-haven-psych-ward · 1 year ago

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Kamen Rider Geats episode 44 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:

#kamen rider geats poorly summarized #kamen rider geats ep 44 #i really am getting slower at these lol #'oh no - anyways' i tycoon's reaction to neon's kidnapping/targetting btw #included the bell cuz that was the hint that ace was doing weird god stuff for neon #trying to find a decent pic of fate stay night's archer's shitton of swords was much more difficult than anticipated btw #love buffa coming to tycoon's den with a metal pipe rage and unfounded confidence #like bro why did you think this fight was gonna go well?#that power creep has had your hands tied for the past five episodes my guy #thanks for the reminder of the intrinsic body horror of the revolve function though #'cant bash in my skull if i rearrange all my bones!' brilliant play zero notes #its important to have those before you spend eight hours on a 'joke'#anyways neon's back baybeeeee #love that for her #also the fact that she's got reality breaking powers and didnt have to sell her soul? A+#keiwa take notes lol #really wish the 'family bonding in the ER' in glittery sparkle gif but then id break my self imposed time limit for shitposts #honestly im okay w how her family arc was treated #...even if i spent the episode screaming for blood #idk what happened there #went full feral #blood for the blood god moments #i am now a neon's mom defender #she did the best she could #clearly loves her daughter and always loved her #the more you find out about her the more youre like 'ohhhhh thats why youre like this'#so like let her get therapy and im 1000% sure she'll be fine #her dad doesn't deserve the redemption arc but at least hes now gotta put in the work to be a good dad #instead of dying and pretending that's the same #anyways those previews huh

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sysig · 2 months ago

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Sizing chart of cute: One Size Fits All (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #Spider Bites #Have some cutes to pull you up and out! Finally out from under the Big Bads!#One of the things I've been trying to more often is fullbodies - I default to busts soooo much #They're great for expression work! But they're samey and don't stretch me to work on anything below the chest #Fullbodies are good! I like seeing the whole of my characters! And luckily Charm is cute from head to toe so drawing all of her is fun :)#If anything I still struggle with her hair so the upper half of her is probably easier to cut off generally lol #1/3rd hair type design lol #I love her shoes sm ahhh she's so cute <3 #Ballet-style pose! I finally added Princess Tutu to my breakfast anime and it was quite cute I enjoyed it :D #Definitely very much a fairytale - wish Ahiru had gotten a slightly happier ending!#I think it would've shaped me a lot at my formative first-anime-engagement age haha but I still enjoyed it as an adult :)#Lots of very pretty poses of course! Fun there as well #More Marshmallow Fluff and Wafer yayy <3 <3 They're the cutes #Love the themst #And the trio's pets again! I gotta give Lemon Squares a pet so I can have all my faves gathered in earnest lol #I think I was speculating about what pet she'd have recently.....a powdered sugar fawn? I can't recall #Oh I have her with a Canary in my notes that's extremely cute haha - she could do with a lemon drop bunny too! Gah too many cutes to choose #It's always that way with the pets haha - but for these three here they're all chatting in their sleep hehe <3 #Chirping and yipping and baaing hehe the cutes! Love the lads #And a bonus spider bite and Spider Bites! Truly singular and double there that's funny lol #Worried little guy just a small and lonesome lad! Not very intimidating in singular haha #I wonder what their Battle form would look like hm :)#Couple'a Spider Bites checking in with herselves - one Charm was worried but being together makes it better!#They're cute wahh #Self-confidence self-assuredness better alone together - remember to rely on others too!

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gotinterest · 1 year ago

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The way that Hua Cheng smacks E'ming and doesn't let Xie Lian reach out to comfort it because he hates himself (and therefore hates E'ming) and doesn't think himself worth of the concern of a god he's literally been the sole worshipper of for centuries. King we WILL get you some personal self esteem!!!!

#tgcf lb...2!#stuff like this REALLY makes me wish that mxtx had laid off the romantic fantasy a bit in later chapters and had #more convos between xl and hc about hc's self worth issues and had them talk to each other more as equals and as regular people trying to #make a relationship work.#Because HC's self esteem issues are so important to him! He's #SOOOO confident with everyone else but with Xie Lian you really get the sense that he is still that abused and unwanted cursed child on the #inside. And I just wish we saw more from his perspective on that.

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flamboyant-king · 2 years ago

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Happy New Years!

I hope to show up more often on here with art to share!

Maybe just posting dumb stuff, but I also hope to see y’all more often too.

\(^o^) Cheers!