#objectively my worst and least favourite companion

[aeskanera]

My personal ranking of Kotor companions from most to least favourite:

Juhani - naturally the top spot goes to the first lgbt+ character in star wars media. we love a lil lesbian

Mission Vao - this is my child, goes without saying

T3-M4 - he beeps! he goes deet deet! he has a flamethrower! he cost like a thousand credits though hence the third place ranking

Hanharr - so I know no one ranks him very highly ever or talks about him cause it’s actually pretty hard to get him in a play through but like. if you can find his dialogue options online and read through all his conversations I would so recommend it. He is absolutely fascinating whether you’re giving LS or DS answers and he’s an extraordinarily interesting character study (as are all the Kotor II characters but he’s a particularly underrated one). They took a lot of elements of Zaalbar but also Juhani and really fleshed them out and since Juhani’s my fav it makes sense I’d like him

Canderous Ordo - bioware let me romance him I’m begging you on hands and knees. that being said I know my opinion of him is biased for this reason so to be objective he’s a few spots down

Atton Rand - normally I don’t get the obsession when tumblr goes nuts for the most average men but like. i get it this time. Especially because he’s not average he’s arguably the most nuanced and complex star wars character to exist, even more so than Kreia (to me) with insane depth and his romance is certainly the best written romance in star wars. but also this man doesn’t shower

Mira - I feel like sis never gets enough credit for definitely (in my mind) being down bad for female exile. like she fully rejects male exile if he comes on to her and then when she comments to the other girls like “back off he’s mine” she follows up with clarifying that if anyone is going to turn him in for a bounty it’s her. and if female exile asks if Mira knows anything about men Mira’s just like “I know how to hunt them for bounties. What else could you possibly need them for.” and when you read her thoughts she only wonders how male exile still looks so young but for a female exile she specifically is like “she’s just so naturally beautiful” cue hearteyes. That being said her being wlw is not canon and she absolutely reeks of performative third wave feminism

Kreia - Kreia, sis, take a chill pill. wonderful, fascinatingly written character and all but like. damn. also middle of the list for being a parasocial mother figure to me in all the good ways and the bad. She would be lower but she was a fucking beast in combat plus carrying on the Star Wars legacy of losing hands in lightsaber duels

Carth Onasi - they said cookie cutter hero even down to the dead wife but also give this man the worst trust issues you’ve ever seen and make him awful at flirting. I did not know the game pseudo forces you into his romance even if you reject him, cause I’ll not lie the first time I played through the game his awkward and downright terrible rizz captivated me. but also if I didn’t give Mira a free pass for product-of-its-time writing, it’s not fair if I don’t also judge Carth for that so like negative points for pushy sexism

Visas Marr - don’t like that if you’re a male exile it forces you to have only saved her life out of sexual desire no matter what you say about it. and if we’re judging Carth’s romance for that, we have to judge this too. plus she’s so bad in fights, I don’t know what it was but I could never get her to stay conscious for any fights even low level ones no matter what I did in a play through. But also my darling with the best fashion taste in these entire games. Shy lil sweetheart who also fully was preparing to slit your throat. Like I love her, the uselessness as a companion is fully the reason she’s so low

Bastila Shan - she is as preachy as everyone says and it’s so much worse when you learn she’s supposed to be like 20 years old (which yikes x1000 for male Revan) but even with female Revan I was always willing to overlook the preachiness as a character thing back when I thought she was closer to the same age as Revan, like in her 30s or close to equals at least. But it does become much harder to overlook the arrogance and lectures when this snotrag is like at least a decade younger than you. also what even is battle meditation it’s a stupid power. but I cannot deny the mommy issues did make me relate hard plus now that legends isn’t canon (not that it ever was) that means legends is whatever I want it to be so in my brain Bastila is at least 30

Zaalbar - I want to like him so much more than I do. He’s just I think one of the worst cases of Kotor I having a very limited system of good and evil so like all of the nuance that his character could have is pretty straightforwardly handled and very black and white

Jolee Bindo - take notes Kreia on the superior grey jedi (even though I ranked him so much lower than her lol). but yeah mad props for being the only true grey jedi to exist in these games, at least when you first meet him. I just unfortunately have adhd and since his whole character and all his interactions are just longwinded war stories, I get very bored very quickly. (and yes Canderous is similar but his stories are shorter and don’t make up his entire relationship with Revan and also I want to romance him)

Bao-Dur - we love to see disability rep just would be nice if I could have more than like three conversations with him. as great a setup and backstory as the rest of the Kotor II companions and then they do basically nothing with him even if he learns Force wielding

HK-47 - he’s mostly so far down because I think he’s extremely overrated. like he as a character is fun but he’s treated like the greatest cleverest writing to have ever existed when it’s literally just the same two jokes over and over again

Mical the Disciple - I do love him actually but yeah everyone’s not wrong about him being the blandest most milquetoast nerd to have ever existed. I do have affection in my heart for him but unfortunately he must also lose brownie points for replacing Dvakvar, an infinitely cooler character

Brianna the Handmaiden - this girl would have bullied me in high school I think

Dvakvar Grahrk - why did they replace this cool alien with yet another boring human. clearly they did not think it would be believable that Atton would be jealous of an alien’s relationship with f!exile or else he’d have been more jealous of Bao-Dur as well. star wars made aliens only to hate on them and quite frankly I would like to have recruited and possibly (depending on the quality of footage that could have existed) even romanced Dvakvar. Unfortunately because we know next to nothing about him he must come at the bottom of the list. RIP to what could have been

G0-T0 - I literally forgot about him at first, I simply do not care about this thing

Honorary mention: Bao-Dur’s Remote - he’s just a lil guy that zooms around! no flaws nothing but perfection. would be number one if I considered him an full companion. Also honorary mention to Trask Ulgo, gone but not forgotten

[catboytwelve]

Ok, rambling about S14 let's gooooo

At the end of the day i really had fun with this season of Doctor Who and think that they got the most important thing (the doctor) right and that's what matters But.

Overall, I think the season is kinda undercooked, specifically in regards to what I hold as my primary focus for the show, which is the Doctor-Companion dynamic

15 is a delight, but his dynamic with Ruby is way too straightforward and without conflict; if you think back to ten and donna, yeah they would bicker like friends but she would also push back against him if he was doing something she thought was wrong, what propells them to an iconic Doctor-Companion duo is not their lovely friendship but them challenging each other to be better. The Donna and the Tenth Doctor that we see at the beginning of S4 are not the same Donna and Doctor that we see at the end of S4 and that. Just doesn't happen to Ruby and Fifteen. And you could argue that not every dynamic has to be like that, if not for the fact that they said it was like that.

They outright say that the Doctor was changed bc of Ruby in... how he talks about family? Which happened when? He literally witnessed a family coming together and be happy and he locks himself in the tardis and doesn't even say hi to Ruby's biological mother,,,, How is that him being changed? Was he lying?

Even Ruby herself I think is just kinda there sadly, Millie Gibson is a pleasure on screen and she clearly gave her 200% in her performance plus her chemistry with Gatwa is really good but who is Ruby beyond her mysterious normal mother? A really caring and lovely girl and that's it? No flaws no dreams or objectives in life outside her mother's identity? I feel like the best we got was when she played the piano in the devil's chord but outside of that I don't see much more (which is so strange bc we have a whole episode with her alone and... we don't get to know her more?)

Also, I love the hugs (and 15's tears!!!), it's refreshing to see the Doctor being so open towards acts of affection again but while that's lovely to see, there's not much more to it than a really healthy friendship.

I realise this could very well be a Me problem, given I am a conflict enjoyer, but I keep thinking that if 15ruby went through moments where they doubted each other or fought over doing or not doing something, their acts of affection would make me care for them so much more, which is a shame. :c

As for the episodes alone, it really does feel like RTD1 again lol

The opening ep is kinda meh but not horrible, the finale is uninspired but with nice scenes here and there, the highlight of the season are the eps not written by him (which this time around are way too few...) and the others are ok but nothing incredible. This is a huge improvement over flux, which is my least favourite chibnall season, but it's not a stellar season of dw, which is fine (again, I still had fun with it) and maybe my opinion on it will change with time!!!

if I had to rank the eps I'd go:

Boom

Rogue

73 yards

The devil's chord

Dot and Bubble

Empire of the dead

Space babies

The legend of Ruby Sunday

On a closing note this season also proved that we really, really need someone new to run the show. I know finding someone to take on a show this huge is really difficult (even chibnall had to be persuaded to take the job, and he had written tons of eps and even run torchwood for a while....) but I do feel like it's that or the show will stagnate, and that's the worst case scenario for dw.

Sorry if I was a little bit too negative here sjcjsjxj I may be influenced by the finale, which I didn't like lmao, but this Is what I wanted to get out of my system. Just to say something positive, my thoughts on gatwa and 15 haven't changed in the slightest I LOVE HIM AND I THINK HE'S FANTASTIC <33333

[cateringisalie]

Tagged by @fury-brand​ - thank you! I stole some questions back from the previous post...

Name: Sanctum

Fandoms: Final Fantasy VII and associated spin-offs; Bravely Default, Legend of Korra, Final Fantasy VIII, Grandia

Most popular oneshot: In terms of hits - Words Are Important Too (FFVII Cloti smut, which is not wholly surprising). It’s another version of the Highwind scene. Not sure if appreciably different from any other one. I did get a complaint in Spanish about Tifa hooking up with OCs. In terms of Kudos it’s surprisingly After the Wedding (Legend of Korra)

Most popular multichapter: In terms of hits and kudos its Healing (Legend of Korra AU) which I wrote with @danseru-kun. For me solo it’s Modern Love (FFVII Clerith smut)

Fics Nervous to post: the smut. Also the Cloti fics where they didn’t interact once

Coming Soon:

More (untitled) Clerith smut! (I am so sorry)

The unexpected spin-off to said Clerith smut! (wherein I think I can second-guess the first comment I will get and thus produce the seemingly obviously far more interesting theoretical fic with a flourish. Lot of assumptions on my part there and there’s little other reason to tie the things together)

Aeris as a scavenger! (which is now in two chapters and the second one is currently in pieces and I need to actually fix that and its in need of a title)

Resident Fantasy: Nemesis! I would very much like to do something far more with the obvious idea thrown up by the modded Resident Evil 3 Remake/Aeris has a gun and fuse Resident Evil and Final Fantasy VII together but whether this is going to work at all remains to be seen. Also getting past my inclination to make it more RE2, but recognizing RE3 offers an easier objective and reason for plot momentum and not having to get into why this art museum is now a police station.

Favourite things to write: alternate universes and/or what-ifs. Unconsciously? (since someone needed to point this out) Lots of missing scenes.

Actual worst part of writing: Forcing writing at a slower pace so everything doesn’t happen in a rush. Which I’m pretty sure I still do anyway. But the not being in the right mindset or not caring about *this* bit, but with it being vital to everything else and not wanting to makes it a real slog.

How you choose your titles: sometimes suggestions, sometimes lyrics, sometimes it just clicks when outlining, sometimes its desperation while staring at the relevant field on ao3, and sometimes generic-y what happens in the fic. A few times (with permission) someone else’s fic title.

Do you outline: Almost always. Except for the last few where I have the idea clear in my head and then try and bash the words together.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

An Annihilation/FFVII fusion is appealing but hard to marshal into something doable.

I re-watched Slayers last year and near immediately leapt to an obvious parallel of high-powered sorceress and her long-suffering blond swordsman companion, but trying to write that turned into a Slayers rewrite but with some cosmetic details amended. I have asked for this twice on fic-exchange occasions to no avail. It feels like it should be possible, but it needs to be different enough otherwise reading Slayers fic would save a lot of time (admittedly, I have not even looked there).

The other, other AU where Ifalna and Aerith successfully flee Midgar and make it to Cosmo Canyon. Aerith befriends Nanaki. As she grows older she chafes at the restrictions (don’t leave the settlement) and Shinra’s increasingly blatant destructive practices – not least secure in the knowledge that the White Materia can fix the situation but not wholly sure on how. So. She runs away, Nanaki going with her. Her various searches for a way to make use of the materia land her in Rocket Town eventually where Cloud having changed his mind about the whole SOLDIER thing after loudly announcing he was going for it has been working as an apprentice to Cid for a number of years embarrassed to go home. He winds up joining Aerith and Nanaki on their quest to clearly the saving of the world but the whole rest of this is completely vague. I have the whole first sentence as a wip at least (which I think is 2000 words).

Callouts @ Me: So many starts, so few continuations and even fewer endings. Occasionally no middle either.

Best writing traits: Fulfilling a writing prompt that, if not the inverse of intended tone then, is at least spun off in a complete other direction while still conforming to the working of the prompt (or simply: bloody-mindedness)

Canon adherence when necessary (or appropriate) and flippantly disregarding it when its an issue or canon is actively terrible.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: Not sure if spicy (I am old), but I miss the days of bizarre crossovers, Avalanche living together and strange fic.

Tagging: @danseru-kun, @effortlesslyuncool, @splinteredstar, @rentfreecat, @auncyen, @komatsujo and anyone else who wants in.

[yespolkadotkitty]

A Duke in the Hand - pt II

Part I here

An hour later, Milly helped Clementine unpack her belongings. It’d likely take the entire day, if not more, to set everything in its place. Clementine did not travel light. She’d set her mind to something, and the old lady was immovable once she had decided. It is the principle, Milly, she had announced grandly. I may die, but it shall be on my terms and mine alone. And it shall be somewhere comfortable and I shall have all my finery around me.

One of Milly's favourite things about Clem was her stubborn will.

She folded an obscenely ornate peacock green cloak - the one Clementine wore when she was in one of her moods - and placed it carefully in the chest at the foot of the old lady’s new bed; an elegant four poster.

Milly had to wonder what had gone through Lord Suffolk’s mind when he’d greeted them. The handsome, serious-faced Duke had remained perfectly cordial, a silent raise of one brow the only indication that he suspected Clementine of not being quite as ill as advertised.

It had taken immense willpower for Milly to hide her smile at his obvious discomfort. He’d expected an invalid, perhaps even an old woman on a form of stretcher. Instead, he’d been met with the whirlwind that was Clementine. The unstoppable force meets the immovable object.

For herself, Milly was happy indeed for a change of scenery. The Duke’s manor house rose from the ground like a song of the ancients, all gorgeous stone and stained glass windows, beautifully carved, not unlike the man himself.

The rooms allocated to herself and Clementine were fine indeed. And best of all, Clementine had hinted often that Lord Suffolk would be away at court for much of the time, or away on the King’s business. For Milly, this was ideal. She could indulge in  all of her… unladylike… past-times. Messy oil painting which stained her fingers (unbecoming). Riding a horse as a man did (very unbecoming - but much more comfortable). And wearing men’s hose whilst riding (the worst sort of sin, extremely unbecoming  - and again, ever so comfortable. Everything men did seemed to be more comfortable than what women had to endure). 

And alone, she could indulge in her favourite best case scenario daydream - finding a rich but amiable and dull husband who left her to her own devices, mostly, and indulged her past-times, who didn’t try to cage her in to being a “proper” lady but instead allowed her free rein. And of course being married to such a man meant she could be free to pursue her interests and also free of the pressure to marry. And free of the pressure of being a “spinster,” the scorn of society country-wide.

Her step-father had seen to it that if she ever found such an amiable man, he would likely be as poor as a church mouse, or a fourth son without prospects. Soiled doves could never command Dukes like Lord Suffolk.

Milly put that thought away, angry with herself for spoiling her first day at the manor house. She should be rejoicing that she’d been granted this turn of good fortune. Fresh country air. A room of her own, with a big window. A change.

She finished with the current bag of Clementine’s scarves and shawls and let herself flop back on the big four poster bed, stretching out her arms and legs, playing at making angel shapes, laughing at herself. So much space, and if she drew the curtains around the bed, she would have total privacy.

Did the Duke draw the curtains around his bed when he took lovers?

Such thoughts will not end well, Millicent, she lectured herself silently. But she had no doubt that he was quite the lover at court. 

And out of it. And in fact, anywhere. He had the look of temptation; a fallen angel made in the form of a man. Summer-sky blue eyes, a jaw carved from marble, softened by a scruff of beard that would scrape a lover’s skin just so. And those thick curls, the colour of the finest, polished oak.

*******

“My Lord,” Lady Blake gasped, as Charles kissed his way down the slender column of her neck. He smiled against her skin. Lord Blake was aged, with what seemed a constant case of gout. Charles had been satisfying Blake’s wife for some months now. At somewhere around thirty, she was a striking, sensual woman, a naughty gleam in her eye across a banquet table had caught Charles’ attention. A few slipped notes by servants and it hadn’t taken long for the game to be afoot.

Her ringed fingers slid into the thick curls of his hair, pulling gently as he in turn laved her erect nipples, bringing soft mewls of joy from her lips. The valley between her breasts smelled faintly of lavender, her preferred perfume. His name escaped her mouth as he parted her legs, kissing a path down her stomach and the place where she’d take him inside her body.

The candles in the room showed their shadows moving as he licked her thoroughly, her legs trembling on his shoulders. When she climaxed, he moved up her body and entered her in one swift thrust, both of them exhaling at the contact. The muscles at the heart of her milked him, the wet heat a fire of pleasure licking up his cock, stealing the breath from his lungs. Her nails scraped at his back, and he welcomed the tiny hurt.

When it was over, there was no soft cuddling. Lady Blake never stood for that. She simply sent him on his way with a saucy smile. They both knew this wasn’t the last time. 

A life at court afforded Charles plenty of bored married ladies, ripe for the plundering. He never took an unwilling partner, and he never made promises. He simply took pleasure where it was offered, and gave pleasure in as great a measure as he was capable.

Court was busy, often enjoyable, but sometimes, a trial, if the mood took Henry to be sullen or manipulative. However, currently, court provided an escape from his Aunt Clementine. She and her companion had been living under his roof for a scant three days - it taken taken almost all of that time to unpack everything Clementine had brought with her, all but the garderobe fittings, it seemed - and she had immediately given the girl - Millicent, not yet in mourning, a list of all the foods which upset her delicate stomach.

The same stomach did not stop her from eating sixteen of the freshly baked Jumbles, Cook had reported brightly. At least someone in Charles’ house was enjoying themselves.

And so, when the summons had come from His Majesty for Charles to attend court, for a special, seven course banquet in honour of Queen Anne becoming pregnant, Charles had for once, despite his intense dislike of Anne, happily acquiesced, riding the very same day. 

As he’d mounted his horse, he saw Millicent watching from the big window in her quarters, wearing another black gown. He was starting to doubt she owned any other colours. 

She’d put her hand on the glass, palm pressed against the window, open, as if reaching, and he thought, for a second, she looked quite wistful, like an angel, or an enchantress in a painting. For the first time, he’d wondered what it might be like to have a woman to come home to, a warm welcome awaiting him behind the big oak doors.

Then the moment passed, and he rode away.

Thanking my fantastic beta, @constip8merm8​ 

Tagging: @moderapoppins​ @sweetsistergingerspice​ @ly--canthrope​ @dr-kayleigh-dh​ @flowerymoonlight​ @hopelessromanticspoonie​ @mary-ann84​ @helenaeisenhower​ @wanderinglunarnights​ @rantsalon​ @queenmalhinewahine​

[lamiasluck]

The Chica Parade

(Hey, thanks for 50 followers! As a thank you, here’s the most blessed thing I’ve ever written. Every ego has a corresponding Chica and that’s the plot. Loosely based off this. Enjoy!)

Summary: Everyone's been acting strange lately. Strange enough for the new egos to notice, at least. There's an odd... pleasant air around the household. Like everyone's waiting for something, or someone, to arrive. It's even affecting the most stern of egos! So it's up to Yancy to figure out what's happening. Little does he know, the surprise waiting for him is surprisingly cute! And not only that, there are multiple surprises waiting for everyone!

Characters: Eric Derekson, Yancy, Illinois, Captain Magnum, Dark, and a lot of Chicas

Words: 1726

Read on AO3!

-

There was an odd air around the house today. Everyone was happy, anticipating something never spoken out loud. At least, nothing was said to the new egos.

“They’re acting so weird,” Illinois commented.

Captain Magnum nodded from beside him. “Ay,” he replied, short and curt.

“I don’ trust it,” Yancy added from beside Magnum.

The three of them were sitting on a couch, watching everyone run about with suspicion. There was a certain pep to everyone’s step as they passed by. Whatever was possessing them was worrying the new guys greatly. Even the most stoic of egos had a calm attitude towards them.

Eric walked by, clutching his handkerchief and smiling to himself like the rest. He snapped out of his thoughts when Yancy called out to him.

“Pipsqueak, c’mere!” Eric quickly walked over. Yancy squinted at him, looking him up and down for anything weird. Eric merely titled his head.

“Are… are you okay?”

“Tell me what the hell’s goin’ on here?” Yancy asked, the other two nodding their heads. “Youse guys are actin’ all… funny.”

“Oh, you didn’t hear? There’s-”

The doorbell rang before Eric could finish his thought. He, and a few other nearby egos, sprang up at the sound. Yancy kept his confused expression as Eric reached over to grab his hand, gently pulling him to his feet.

“They’re here!” Eric exclaimed, bouncing in place. “I-I can show you! Please lemme show you. You’ll love them, I swear!”

Yancy barely mumbled an agreement, but Eric was already guiding him accordingly. The other two stayed planted on the couch, to which Yancy gave them a look of betrayal.

“What’re the chances he never returns?” Magnum asked as they both watched him leave.

Illinois thought long and hard for a moment, then he shrugged. “A solid 6 out of ten,” he said.

Like Eric, everyone gathered around the front door with excitement. Whatever the hell this was got even personalities like Google waiting in silent anticipation. While everyone was muttering amongst each other, Wilford walked to the door and practically ripped it open with a bright smile. Yancy flinched at the suddenness, bracing himself for the worst. However, there was nothing of the sort.

A sea of fluff raced through the door as a plethora of golden retrievers entered their home, barking to their heart’s delight. They all looked slightly different from each other, whether that be because of a special outfit or odd, supernatural-like qualities. Nonetheless, all the egos erupted in various cheers and cooed at the dogs. All except for Yancy, who stood dumbfounded at the cuddly revelation.

Eric let go of his hand in favour for kneeling on the ground with open arms. Yancy was expecting a dog to jump in his arms, only for one to… fly instead?! A dog with fully functioning angel wings tackled Eric in a hug.

“Aw~ I missed you!” Eric said, giving as much kisses and pets to the dog as he could. The dog returned the kisses with twice the amount of enthusiasm all while flapping their wings and wagging their tail.

Many of the egos were in the same position as Eric. All were accompanied by their respective canine companions in a wholesome display. Yancy, now in awe, stared at the various dogs. Oddly enough, they looked familiar to him. The fluffy golden fur, smiley faces, a tail that wouldn’t stop wagging no matter what… it was all familiar.

“So, these pups just visit youse guys?” he asked.

Eric, still very much preoccupied by the ball of fluff and feathers, responded. “Yeah! Th-These dogs - they visit every month! It’s like… like a Chica get-together!

Yancy’s eyes widen upon hearing that name. “Wait, Chica?!”

“Bark!”

Yancy snapped his head towards the sound. In the doorway stood one final dog, clad in a prim and proper security guard outfit, and as happy as could be. Yancy dropped to his knees and let the dog come closer.

“Haven’t seen youse in forever, bub.” His tone was quiet, airy in shock at the sight before him. He scratched Chica behind the ear, a small smile finally making its way to his lips.

“You’ve seen her already?” Eric asked. A security Chica was new, very professional looking too. Not the craziest dog to walk through the doors by far, not when literal angel and ghost dogs played fetch right in front of them.

Yancy nodded. “Yeah, back in prison she was a guard. Such a good girl!” he praised, giving her a hug. “Bit too much of a good girl, actually. According to some dickhead, she couldn’t punish us right. Got her fired ‘cause of it!” He scowled as he remembered what happened. The day Chica got fired was one of the biggest riots he’s ever seen. Surely, the guard that fired her got shanked to all hell, but hey, he reaped what he sowed. Nothing got her back though, all the steaks and toys in the world never got them their favourite guard back.

Security Chica leaned forward and licked Yancy’s face, her whole body shaking at the sheer happiness. Nothing else mattered now that he was reunited with his Chica. He didn’t have any steaks to give, but he had something else up his sleeve.

“Hey, bub, look ‘ere.” He lifted up his left arm sleeve. Tattooed on his arm was a red heart with an arrow through it. In the center, in beautiful cursive, was Chica’s name. “I missed youse so much.”

She stared at the ink for a moment. Then, she nuzzled her face into Yancy’s arm, letting out a pleased yip. Yancy continued to coo at the dog as she plopped down onto his lap. It looked as though she couldn’t stop wagging her tail, but who could blame her? As Yancy was reunited with his favourite guard, she was reunited with her favourite prisoner.

Eric giggled. Not a hint of Yancy’s tough guy persona was present. “You glad I showed you?” he asked.

Yancy only nodded his head, shining a bright smile.

-

Illinois and Magnum still sat in the living room, with Illinois turning his head every which way at all the ruckus.

“There’s dogs here?” he muttered.

“It appears so, lad. Quite the pretty pups too!”

Illinois shrugged. “Well, I’m not a dog person.” From around them, egos and dogs alike ran about. Barks and cheers began to meld together as a white noise he didn’t care much about. He and Magnum continued to talk about whatever crossed their mind, though Magnum kept getting distracted every five seconds by the cuteness around them.

In the distance, another noise pierced through the rest. The crack of a whip. Illinois actually raised an eyebrow at the familiar sound and looked for the source. Rounding the corner was another Chica, dragging a whip alongside like rope.

“Aw~” Magnum cooed. “Look at that! She’s just like ye.” He reached over and flicked Illinois’ hat. “All she be missin’ is the hat,” he laughed.

Illinois huffed out a laugh, smiling. “Yeah, guess so.” He bent over and patted her head. “Are you a little adventurer, too?” His voice went higher in an attempt at a baby voice. He wasn’t a dog person, but if fate would go through the trouble of giving him a dog who was he to object? He squished Chica’s face as he continued his praises.

While his guard was down, Chica dropped her whip in favour for grabbing his hat and bolting away. Illinois blinked, speechless. After, he shook his head and recollected his senses, standing up and storming after the little thief.

“Hey, come back here!” His voice echoed in the halls as he ran further. Not that Chica was going to stop anytime soon. That would ruin the thrill of adventure, after all.

Now all that was left was Magnum. He let out a loud, boisterous laugh at Illinois’ misfortune, wiping tears from his eyes by the end of it. Unbeknownst to him, another dog waddled up by his feet and pawed at his leg. There was no feeling as she pawed at the tree stump, but the soft sounds of scratching quickly got his attention.

Magnum cracked his eyes open. Before him a dog that matched his aesthetic perfectly. An eye patch, a red bandana tied around her neck, a perfectly sized captain’s hat strapped on top of her head. It was all there, but there was one trait that caught his eye like a chest of gold. One of her hind legs stood stronger than the others, replaced with the finest oak by the looks of it. It made her hobbled awkwardly, yet she held herself with pride.

“Well, what do we have ‘ere, little lass?” He scooped Chica up in his arms and cradled her to his chest. “Looks like I got myself a little treasure of my own!”  

Not exactly the gold he sought out for, but her golden fur and attitude could do him well. Looks like he had a new first mate.

-

From another room, Dark stared deadpan at the sight before him. Like everyone else, there was a Chica he could call his very own. However, this Chica wasn’t the goodest of girls in the bunch. A dog the size of an elephant struggled to make herself comfortable within the house’s walls, eventually settling for lying down in a heap of grey fur. She huffed at Dark, the force of wind could have easily swept Dark off his feet, but he managed to keep his ground.

“Chica hungry,” she growled, somehow talking without opening her mouth. Her image flickered similar to Dark’s aura.

The entity, who everyone cowered before, swallowed harshly. He continued to keep his neutral face, but this fluffy dog could very well sense his fear radiating off him. A slow, cautious hand was raised, and he snapped his fingers. In front of them, a large ---suspiciously squirming--- bag appeared by their feet. Dark Chica’s favourite treat.

In a single chomp, she silenced the muffled screams coming from the bag and ate everything. Bag and all. She licked her lips in satisfaction. Her tail wagged slowly, thumping against the walls and surely leaving dents in the poor artitecture.

“Chica happy.”

Dark nodded, relief overwhelming his form. Better them than me, he thought. He walked closer and patted her snout. “Good girl.”

[peachywise]

nullify part 3

an umbrella academy fanfiction // klaus hargreeves x reader

- part iii: the difference between truths and lies || part i ⋆ part ii ⋆ part iv ⋆ part v ⋆ part vi ⋆ more parts to be released

- synopsis: Klaus may have terrified your neighbour, broken an unspoken contract, and overall just acted like an absolute ass, but hell. That wasn't anything compared to how shitty your first meeting went when you met the rest of his family.

- notes: Sorry, this chapter took a little longer to get up than expected! Then again, it was delayed because I got a puppy, so yeah man I'm not that sorry lmao. Hope you enjoy! Swearing and minor violence TW.

link on ao3 

________________________

“Did you break my lamp?”

Looking over his shoulder, Klaus peered at the tall beige light lying haphazardly on your floor, its shade squished to shit with little pieces of broken light bulb scattered around. It also just so happened to be right beside the window he had crawled in to get here.

“Would you believe me if I said it was like that when I got here?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. Patience. You had to have patience. Granted, that would be easier to achieve if you also had a lamp that was intact.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, it made a loud enough crash and you didn’t even wake up. Would have thought you were dead if I wasn’t such a brilliant expert on the subject already.” Crossing the room to stand in front of you, he lowered his voice slightly, asking, “what pills do you take for it? Never seen anything like it.”

“Nothing. Just the sheer anger and exhaustion that comes from having been born,” you bluntly stated, only half-joking.

He tilted his head in a funny nod. “Ah, yes. That would do the trick.”  Shaking your head, a little amused despite it all, you brushed past him to grab one of your canvas bags hanging by the front door. In doing so, Klaus’s eyes fell down to your hand, only just noticing the object clasped in your grasp. His face contorted in confusion “Are you actually bringing that clock with you? I was joking when I suggested it, sweetheart.”

Slipping the clock in the bag—which was little more than a defensive weapon now—you snorted. “I’m not taking any chances.” You’d already had a plate thrown at you, a spoon, and a pot dropped on your stomach, and that was all in less than twenty-four hours. If they were going to keep tossing ridiculous objects your way, then the clock was yours to use freely as far as you were concerned.

You almost wanted to smack him over the head with it again to avenge your fallen lamp. At least that’s why you told yourself you wanted to.

“Remind me why I agreed to go meet them, again?” You muttered, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you slipped some sneakers on. Klaus moved back over to your window, gingerly stepping over your lamp like he was afraid of damaging it more than he already had. How nice of him.

“Because I’m incredibly charming. And if you’re thinking of backing out, you aren’t going to get the ice cream cone I was going to treat you too on our midday stroll.”

Well, shit. Couldn’t say no to that.

“Let’s go, then."

Klaus’s grin was way too big, his face a little too excited. It was the same as that almost anticipative, hopeful look in his eyes you saw when you first met. The near intensity that he looked at you was enough to unnerve even the most confident of people. It was confusing. You had begun to think about what they could need. Clearly, they weren’t as interested in your forcefields ability of simple defense, given Five’s early dismissal of it. He was way more interested in learning you could nullify powers. At the very least you knew you could cancel out Klaus’s. Most likely they just needed you to do that with someone else. The question was, who was it?

Moving to unlock your door, you heard a familiar swish and click of a window. Turning back around, you noticed Klaus trying to squeeze himself through it, his body already halfway out.

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re doing that to be funny, or because you forgot we could leave out the front door.”

Stalling just before he stuck his second foot out on your fire escape, he stayed still for a beat then backtracked, maneuvering himself inside the apartment once more. Clearing his throat as he stood upright, he murmured, “I was just following Ben’s lead,” walking past you to swing the front door open. “Well come on, we haven’t got all day. Early bird gets the worm and all that."

Patting Klaus’s arm condescendingly, you stated a little loudly simply in hopes ghost boy was actually still in the room, “with how much I assume Klaus pins his stupid stunts on you, it's a travesty that you haven't been anointed to sainthood, Ben.”

“Please,” Klaus scoffed, throwing his arm over your shoulder as you moved out in the hallway, closing the door and locking it behind you. “You can’t even hear him and you believe him over me?”

Shrugging his arm off, you span around and walked backward, facing him. “Are you kidding? Currently, he’s my favourite because I can’t hear him. It’s blissful.”

Klaus was about to shoot something back at you, his face lighting with the knowing signs of amusement, but stopped himself before he could begin. Oh, so no clever come back? You’d gotten so used to the rapport you were almost disappointed, despite what you had just previously stated about the quiet.

But then you heard another voice behind you, and Christ, you already dreaded having to explain the presence of your rather scantily clad, eccentrically distinctive acquaintance.  

“Honey, are you okay? I heard some noises coming from your apartment and I was just on my way to check.”

Spinning back around, you gave a tight smile in welcome to your elderly neighbour, Eliza Carr. She was a sweet little woman, albeit nosy as all hell. Shrunken to about 4’9 with overly long grey hair pinned up in a tight bun, you always wondered if she did it too stretch her wrinkles in a make do facelift. Ingenious, really. She’d always kind of reminded you of a fairy. Odd comparison, but it worked when you considered they were often pleasant under the guise cover an impish exterior.

Once you had even caught her looking through your mail. You were pretty sure she had taken a pizza coupon from the stack and hid it in her bra.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Carr. I was just—”

“With me,” Klaus interjected, stepping beside you and looping his arm through yours, pressing you closer to his side as he put on his fake little polite act.

Shit.

Why he interrupted, you had no idea. Maybe it was just his incessant need to hear his own voice, or his need to make his presence known lest he disappears like the invisible ghost who trailed along after him.

“Believe me, I tried to quiet them down but they just can’t keep their hands off! Didn’t help that they ball-gagged me and had my hands and feet tied together, but that’s pretty tame compared to last night.”

Maybe he interrupted because this truly was hell and Klaus was a literal fucking demon given the duty to torment you in every sense of the word. Then Eliza’s hand went to her chest, and you had decided he was actually the grim reaper who just tried to kill the poor old bat.

Widening your eyes, you were completely stunned into silence, unable to cough even the slightest noise or retaliate against his words. Then Eliza dropped her hand and took a small, concerned step forward, reaching that hand out to place it on your forearm in a comforting, though at the moment mortifying, gesture. “Why don’t you come to church with me on Sunday, Hun? I think—”

Sidestepping away from her grasp, you gripped Klaus’s wrist as you finally found your voice again. “Sorry, gotta go! Late for an appointment!” Before she could try to convince you that you needed Jesus—someone who inevitably must have abandoned the earth the moment your present companion was born—you pulled Klaus behind you in your frantic attempt to escape. Then he turned just slightly to yell back at the woman, “we’re trying to adopt! I think we’ll make fantastic parents," as you turned down the hall and raced down the few flights of stairs. Klaus snickered the whole way down.

As soon as you reached the landing of your lobby, musty and welcoming with its stained emerald carpet and all, you dropped his wrist and indignantly ignored him as you exited the building. He trailed behind you like the world’s worst trained mutt. “Give me a minute to catch my breath, will ya?” He huffed, as you walked down the concrete steps and on to the sidewalk. “I’m still a little winded from having that ball gag in my—”

Sticking your leg out casually as he descended from the final step, he comically tripped over it and fell to the ground just as gratifyingly as you had imagined it.  

“Do that again and I’ll shove coal so far down your throat you’ll be shitting diamonds for years to come.”

“You promise?” He smiled, pushing himself off the ground and wiping the gravel from his hands on to his pants. Not like those things could really get any dirtier. “Also, that’s an oddly specific threat. You pick it up from Five? Sounds like him, though it’s a little crude.”

“Do you get off on making a random strangers life hell?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at him indignantly.

Klaus stepped beside you and bumped his shoulder with yours. Smirking as he bent his face lower to your level, he groaned out, “come on, you had to find it a little funny. That woman probably isn’t a saint herself. Seen plenty of grannies reading Fifty Shades of Grey on the bus. Think she’d want to give it a go with me?”

Okay. It was a little funny.

Taking your silence and the slight upturn of your mouth as a win, he poked your arm as if the last attempt to coax you out of grumpiness. You let out a small laugh. “Fine, whatever,” you conceded, “It was a little funny. But seriously, don’t do it again. She’s tried to get me to go to her church so many times that I think next time she’ll just knock me out and drag me there in her car.”

Chuckling back, he sprang into action as he began walking down the street, calling back, “come on, let’s go get that ice cream.”

“I can’t believe you,” you muttered, pulling the vibrantly pink sunglasses down off your head to cover your eyes, despite being inside.

Klaus turned to glance through his matching pair.

“What? I told you. It will present us as a united front.”

“Not the glasses,” you said, taking another lick of the ice cream. You know, the ice cream that you paid for despite him saying it was his treat? Yeah. At this point, you were just ashamed that you had even believed him. And to trick you with the promise of ice cream, of all things! He was truly and most undoubtedly heinous. “When you say you’re going to treat someone to ice cream, typically that means you’ll pay for it, not just order mine and one for yourself, then look me dead in the eye to tell me to pay the man.”

“Did I not hand it to you? I treated you. It's not my fault you thought I had money.”

Wow. He truly would have thrived in high school debate. How disappointing he was raised to be a freakin’ con man instead.

“You know what? The glasses I was fine paying for. They’re cool. But to make me buy you ice cream, taking back an unspoken contract? Despicable.”

You couldn’t tell if the offended look on Klaus’s face was real or a weak attempt to hide the pleasure you knew he was truly taking from this mindless argument.

“Unspoken contract!” He snorted, exiting the elevator on one of the higher levels of an apartment complex way nicer than your own. “Why are we even having this conversation? We both have ice cream, do we not? I call that a win-win.”

“That’s because you're stupid,” you jeered back, reaching over to take a bite of his ice cream like a passive-aggressive child. He gasped in what seemed like true horror. “Hey, you have your own!” Klaus whined, lifting his ice cream high up like that would actually stop you. You gave him a cheery grin—downright innocent. “I bought it. Both are mine.”

Klaus stopped in front of one of the apartment doors, not even bothering to knock as he swung the door open and entered inside. You followed behind him.

“Honey, I’m home!” He called out, then turned his attention back to you, swooping down to take a bite out of your ice cream in return. You gasped, recoiling back as if he had just tried to take your most precious possession. Man, now you knew how Gollum felt. “Not fair!” You laughed loudly, Klaus’s eyes crinkling as he returned the laughter in kind.  

Then the thunk of something planting itself in the wall right beside your ear had your laughter cutting off rather fast, and you dropped your ice cream too the nicely tiled floor in shock.

Oh, hell no.

“Diego, what did I say?” Echoed a baritone voice from around the corner. Turning your head slightly to stare directly down the hall, you lifted the sunglasses back on your head and made eye contact with one of the family, Diego. Luther soon followed into view and tugged him back.

Klaus muttered a small “uh oh,” beside you.

Peering from the corner of your eye at the knife he had just thrown at you, narrowly missing your head by a fraction of an inch, you turned your attention fully back to Number Two, squinting as you did.

“I am not a fucking steak!” You yelled at him, getting really tired the cutlery this family just kept throwing at you. So tired, in fact, that you ignored the man’s inquisitive look in favour of scrounging in your bag, pulling out your broken clock and throwing it with the intent to clock him on the head, no pun intended. Instead, it just bounced enthusiastically off his chest, falling to the floor and cracking its glass face.

Everything went quiet. Well, apart from the snort Klaus tried so hard to mask by covering his mouth with his hand.

“I don’t see any force field. I told you I don’t trust them,” Diego sneered to Luther, turning back around the corridor with a lasting, “we don’t need to involve anyone else.” You weren't necessarily going to dispute that, but man, he was a bitter boy.

Klaus leaned down close to your ear, whispering, “that was Diego. A ray of sunshine, isn’t he?”

Absolutely delightful.

Luther took that opportune moment to advance towards you too. While his disposition tried to read friendly, you knew underneath it all he was scrutinizing you just as much as the trigger-happy Diego had. Reaching out a gloved hand, you tried hard not to let his intimidating size spook you. When the fuck did he get that big?

“I’m Luther,” he introduced himself, as you shook his hand firmly but briefly.

“I know who you are,” you commented back, dropping his hand and taking a tiny step back. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

A look of confusion fell over his face. “Wait, no one told you?” Wow, the whole family was smart, weren’t they? “Klaus, you were supposed to tell her,” he sighed, turning towards his brother.

“Probably best he didn’t. He’s not the most reliable source for information,” came another voice, slightly higher pitched and overly familiar. Five moved to stand in front of you. “Nice to see you again. Was that a clock you threw?”

“Yes. Probably looks a little different from the Disney themed one you have beside your race car bed, so I understand your confusion.”

The only tell he had of his annoyance was the slightest tick at the corner of his eye. “Are you done and ready to talk like an adult now?”

“What, looking for practice? Can’t remember the last time I played house. Maybe kindergarten.” You were going to milk this as long as you could. It wasn’t just that you were trying to avoid whatever weird, nearly cult-like thing this had evolved into in your mind. It was also because you wanted to see just how much you could push the little tyke’s buttons until he snapped.

And then he snapped.

Giving a small huff, a knowing, almost winning look crossing his features. “And that was before your house burned down with you in it, right? If I recall correctly, that was when you were ten.”

This motherfucker. He knew. He knew everything.

Judging by the perplexed look on Luther’s face, and Klaus’s small exclamation of, “what?” it seemed that he was the only one who did. At that moment, it was the only thing stopping you from falling into a spiraling descent of panic and unbelievable ire.

This wasn’t worth it. No matter your curiosity, this was far from worth it.

Turning to Klaus, you bit out, “I think you need to set the kid down for his afternoon nap. He turns into the world’s biggest asshole when he’s tired,” and then swiftly moved to open the apartment door, slamming it behind you as you left without even saying goodbye.  

[zhimaqiu]

I haven't actually heard about your ocs! Do you mind telling me some details about them or just one, depends on how much you want to write, I love hearing about peoples ocs! :)

Promised tag for @that-was-anticlimactic

Because I got 2 asks about my OCs I decided to split them for 2 parts. Those who are more connected and those who are looser.

Tip: Read all of the descriptions. Most of the characters are deeply connected with themselves and the story of one completes the story of the other.

Elden Arlo Jorgensen

Elemental master of emotions, the main villain of my Ninjago fanseason “Resurgence” and also the leader of the South Rebellion. His elemental power gives him the ability to control the emotions of people around him, which makes him great manipulator. Fights with two-bladed staff with the ability to disconnect for two katanas but definitely prefers to convince aggressor to join his side.

Backstory: Because of his father’s oath, he was forbidden to use his power. The only light in his life is his youthful love, Desaria, and best friend, Anagan. Even, after all, he came through he would never want to hurt people. He just wanted to forget about his home, family. After his father’s death, he was finally free and decided to join Order of the Samurais, royal warriors of the emperor. He had a noble goal. Seeing how people of south suffer, decided to do everything to also set them free. Training for a guard would make him get so close to the Emperor he could convince him to stop using the south part of Ninjago just as a source of natural resources. Everything fell when he found ancient artefact which possessed him, tempting with power and messing in his head. It convinced him to create a rebellion where people of Ninjago could fight for their freedom by themselves, make him less... emotional. He didn’t care when people get hurt, he didn’t care when his body started to be ripping apart. The only thing he cared about was his love and noble goal.

Little from the author: Actually I’m working about the redesign of him. On this art, he looks a little too old and this is not fitting his character well. Elden is my first serious OC. All of them before were just some loose characters with a lot of similarity to myself, just for writing a little story. He has a special place in my heart. For some time he was my favourite OC but actually, he’s just the one I can’t forget about.

Desaria Bailar

*sadly I have no drawing of her*

Elemental master of vision, kabuki dancer and ally of the ninja. Her elemental power gives her the ability to create visions in the minds of beings around her. By touching someone, she can let this person show her his/her own imagination or memory. To use her power she needs a lot of confidence, otherwise, her visions are blurred just like uncertain dreams.

Backstory: Desaria grew up in the same village as Elden. They knew each other from diapers. Maybe not literally. Elden is three years older but they hang up together through all of their childhood. She never saw Elden as someone more than a brother or best friend. And anyway, he has never told her that he has some feelings to her. He knows that he shouldn't be falling in love with her because of her age so he was patiently waiting for her to grow up. Unfortunately, their paths have separated. When she was 15, her parents send her to the Academy of traditional song and dance. Her talent, ability and also elemental power helped her enter into the travel kabuki group which has given performances through all of the Ninjago.  

Little from the author: To be honest, from all of my OCs I like her the least. She’s more like a side character, someone who just completes Elden’s story and I don’t really want to change it. Her backstory is not so important for the plot so I’m not developing her more than I have to. 

Anagan Atherton

*no image too*

Elemental master of revision, second in command of the rebellion. His elemental power gives him an ability to fix objects from their ashes/parts and see the past of things. He can also experience people's memories. He fights with a battle axe! (and his charm lmao)

Backstory: During the chaos, Lloyd and Pythor caused by releasing Serpentine, he lost his younger brother, Elden. He decided to devote his life to serving the Emperor's family as the Royal Samurai. While training in their monastery he started to see defects and mistakes of the authority. When Elden Jorgensen entered Order, he quickly became his best friend. Elden's name and behaviour reminded him of his departed brother, made him have a weakness to him. He was susceptible to his impact that Elden didn't even have to use his power to convince him to make some of his ideas true. Both planned how in a peaceful way convince the government to stop injustice on South. When Elden got possessed he came to Anagan and explained to him there won't be any nonviolent option to fight if it and the only one is rebellion. He wasn't so sure about it but tried to hide his doubts and follow his companion.

Little from the author: His backstory is also not so clear but in contrast to Desaria, I really like his character. He doesn't need any long past because the most valuable things to him are happening "here and now" in my fanseasons Resurgence and Lost Heritage.

Yin

*no pic either*

Descendant of the Overlord. Strange creature parted to 3 souls. Mind, Power and Strength. I can't say much about it but in general, they together create something that powerful I won't overdo if I say it's one of the greatest danger for the whole world.

Backstory: Yin was created by Overlord before he was exiled on Dark Island. Yin was weak and couldn't help its Father against First Spinjitzu Master. When Ninjago was parted, Overlord understood that Yin is, for now, his only way to escape Dark Island and devour Ninjago. Using most of the reserves of his power, he gave them worst parts of the Oni and Dragon, increased its power and send to Ninjago. Yin spent years on getting know light side and trying to find its weakest sides. But when it tried to conquer Ninjago for his Father, elemental masters stand against him. Yin didn't know about its own weaknesses and was defeated. The Mind was closed in an artefact, Power body of demon hid in the tomb somewhere in the light side of Ninjago, what happened to the imperishable Dragon - nobody knows.

Little from the author: What can I say... I love my little Overlord's fanboye

Part 2 - *soon there will appear link to it*

[tk-duveraun]

Tagged by @star--nymph

What is your total word count on AO3?

330k :D

How often do you write?

Actual words to paper, an average of every day and a half. Plotting stories and speaking dialogue aloud? Several times a day.

Do you have a routine for writing?

Not really. The most I do is that I change my bg noise from a Let’s Play or podcast to music.

What are your favourite kinks/tropes/pairing?

I don’t write sex scenes, so no sexual kinks, really. At most I enjoy writing UST.

Tropes: soul mates, star-crossed lovers, glorious/magnificent bastard, body in the fridge, Rule 63

Pairing... Oh jeez, probably Vasili/Cakara.

Do you have a favourite fic of yours?

The Fox and the Hound for SWTOR Success, by Some Definition for DA

Your fic with the most kudos?

Success, by Some Definition (Awakening!Anders in Skyhold, linked above)

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

Nope. I really enjoy my writing. I reread it all of the time. The one major criticism I receive is that it’s mostly dialogue, but I’m completely, totally okay with that. My weak points are, in order from worst at to least terrible: story-telling without dialogue, fight scenes, object and descriptions.

Red Whispers (Dragon Age: Inquisition, drama/no romance) had effectively zero dialogue and was a real challenge to write, but the character (Fi’laewel Lavellan owned by @vilemie) was so compelling it was still a pleasure to write despite the difficulty. 

Now something you do like?

I fucking love my dialogue. I’m going to be an arrogant ass and just say it: I can make the characters come alive. You can hear them. With a lot of DA canon characters, and even with some other people’s OCs, I can make their voices ring true to the reader’s ear. 

Someone complimented me by saying they could hear Sebastian’s accent in my abandoned piece Freedom, but if you go and look it, I don’t write out the accent in any appreciable way. It’s entirely word choice and the flow of the conversation matching well-enough to how he is presented in game that the reader’s mind fills the accent in. 

Not everything on Fox’s dialogue page is a 10/10, I’ll admit that, but I could probably convince people out of the loop that Fox is a DLC companion. Now, part of that is following the unwritten style-guide for Bioware companion dialogue, which might sell it more than exact word choice, but I’m still really proud of it.

And I’m gonna stop blowing my own horn about it before everyone unfollows me for be an arrogant, self-important piece of shit.

Which I kind of am.

Tagging: @apparentlyaveline

[oodlyenough]

your 3 worst ships. go.

ok so for the purposes of this meme i’m gonna go with canon ships. there are a LOT of fanon ships i don’t like, but fanon ships are usually only annoying in the context of being in fandom – so in fic or art or meta – and not really in the source material. none of these are objectively the worst ships i’ve ever seen, but rather the ones that make me the most annoyed, because its existence has the biggest ripple effect on the canon itself and my enjoyment of that canon.

ANYHOW, my 3 least favourite canon ships:

#3: korrasami (legend of korra)sorry but also i am not sorry, korrasami became emblematic of all the things that infuriated me about both LOK and its fandom and having to listen to years of praise for the show because of korrasami while everything else got swept under the rug is 2 much 4 me. everyone did korra dirty and i will never forget.

#2: doctor/river (doctor who)this whole mess. this is #2 because i am so beyond caring about dw at this point and really the river stuff was mostly contained into an era i don’t care about, so like, whatever. (catch me when big finish releases Tenth Doctor Vol 3: River Song Adventures comes out I guess) but doctor/river was amazing in its ability to find new levels of Do Not Want for me just about every time they had an interaction. river was always written like the kind of doctor who stan i’d have an internet fight with, where she would appear and be positioned as an expert on the doctor above everyone else and then she’d used that privileged narrative position to spout some GallifreyBase style garbage about how all companions are hamster or whatever the fuck and you can’t love a sunset. miss me with it.

#1: jeff/annie (community)

good news it’s 2017 and i could still like yell at the slightest provocation about why jeff/annie made me mad lmao. i mean, i won’t because it’s 2017. but god. ship itself aside, i think jeff/annie had the biggest impact on the canon material, and it’s jeff/annie that makes it hard for me to enjoy certain episodes or scenes of community. 

[trulycertain]

It’s time for Tru’s Unpopular Opinions. (Sorry! I don’t usually do this! I enjoy being a slightly sappy positivity blog, it’s my preferred zone.) 

It’s weird - within about a week, three different people in completely different contexts have asked me my opinions on Dorian/Bull. Well, here you go:

“Do you think Adoribull is abusive/bad/the pairing equivalent of bacon ice cream?”

No. Not ultimately. But I don't think it's entirely healthy or true love, either, I'll be honest. 

I love both Bull and Dorian, and in both cases I think "but they could do better/they'd be bad for each other." (Which I don't like thinking about some of my favourite characters! But the relationship seems to bring out a lot of their worst aspects.) 

I don't think it challenges them. It starts off as a just sex thing, or they're both pretending it is, which is the default mode for both of them and is part of the pattern they needed to break out of. Sure, they get past it later, but because it's a brief NPC crackship, we don't get to see that development the way we do with their respective romances. So when Trespasser and fanart/fic tend to treat it as this loving, open, very mutually communicative relationship, it feels like cheating, because "wait, where did that come from? I didn't see that in canon! That would've been really interesting to see in canon!"

Also, the banters do bother me, yes. Not entirely for their content, though that made me blink in how blunt it was compared to how bloody sappy some of the other implied romances are in banters, but because they tend to read like the writers were focusing on the comedy/piss-taking aspects rather than what was actually in-character. They were going for the funny and making the relationship bluntly obvious because they had limited screentime to do it, rather than trying for actual nuanced writing. 

We know from... well, most of his arc that Dorian's actually pretty damn private about his relationships and his sex life, because there were serious penalties if he wasn't, and he’s sick of being an object of gossip. We also know that Bull, much as he may make the odd joke about sex with fairly anonymous partners around Skyhold (a thing for redheads, indeed) actually isn't into his arrangement with his bedpartners being shoved out into the light (look at how he reacts if Cole stumbles upon Bull/Inquisitor, for instance - he tries to shut it down because he sees the Inq is uncomfortable). It really doesn't seem like he'd be into barging on ahead with intimate details. I mean, yes, the Bull/Inq scene where all the advisers stumble in exists, but that was an honest-to-god accident and was him brazening it out, pretty much. 

So that gives two options, in the end: a) they're out of character or b) they're into it due to an exhibitionist streak - which comes across as them being insanely inconsiderate to companions who are probably friends by this point, and again, doesn't seem very in-character, considering the way they bond and are pretty gentle with most companions' feelings otherwise. The only other read I can have is Bull being OK with it because "he knows what's best for his partner" and he thinks Dorian needs it dragged out into the open/to become more comfortable with it, but again, that doesn't ring very true to me.

Lastly, culture clash/opposites attract should be absolute catnip for me (most of my stuff is mage/templar or Dalish/human, after all), but the interest for me is seeing people break out of their programming/brainwashing and realise that people... are basically just people. Again, we don't get to see that because it doesn't get developed on-screen. So both of them are.. actually in pretty unhealthy places for a relationship at various points in canon. Which is realistic, yeah, but still makes me sad if it means they're hurting each other and there are too many sharp edges in their relationship. I mean, I know they've already done most of that development offscreen - Bull seems pretty unbothered about hiring non-Qunari and trusts them with his life, Dorian likewise seems very relaxed about romancing an Adaar - so maybe it's that. But then what can happen in Trespasser, though it makes perfect sense with Bull's conditioning... That depresses the hell out of me. And it makes the progress/relationship feel very false, because in that AU it was, at least partly. 

Oh, and really lastly: In Dorian/Inq banters, he seems so happy that the sun is practically shining out of his nostrils. It's embarrassingly obvious to the point where even Cassandra comments on it. (Similar with Bull, who walks on sunshine and throws kadan out like it’s sweets at Halloween.) I actually don't doubt Dorian gets to that stage with Bull, but again, we don't get to see it. So we hop straight from DAI's bitching/hatesex/embarrassment with maybe a few implications that it'll work out well in the end to a very happy, comfortable domestic relationship (with some really bloody sweet dialogue, actually). 

I would loved to have seen some of that comfort and commitment near the end of DAI, but jumping straight into it in Trespasser without any precedent, it doesn't feel earned. And when Dorian says he's going to stay for Bull at the end of DAI rather than going back to Tevinter, it comes across as him clinging to any affection he can get and the hope that things will change and be better, rather than a secure relationship, or being led on. And I prefer to read Bull as a better man than that.

I mean, I love “oh it’s totally just sex oh god no feelings” and opposites-attract, culture clash stuff, and it can be fascinating watching a relationship that isn’t just “easy happy true love forever”. I just feel that it was a cool concept where the execution could have been a lot better, and it doesn’t do much for me personally as a pairing. 

However, the fans seem a lovely, talented bunch, and I’ve seen some amazing fanart and fic (I’ve been known to reblog it occasionally, because there are some exceptions to my general “nope, not my cup of tea” reaction and I’ve seen some beautiful stuff). Rock on, folks. I’ve got no desire to rain on anyone’s parade. That’s just... my two pence, because it’s a question people tend to ask me a lot and I thought I ought to give an answer.

[fontainebleau22]

For the Ask Meme, could you do Faraday's flashback scene in Six of Bones?

Interesting choice: thank you!

Background: this is an AU basedon China Mieville’s short story The Dowager of Bees, which is about aprofessional card-player who is inducted into the secret of the Hidden Suits,and goes on to make a terrible mistake. 

Writing this in Faraday’s pointof view was surprisingly rewarding: I don’t find him a particularly attractivecharacter, personally, but he’s in my view one of the two most clearly-definedof the Seven, with a lot of personal traits to work with. 

‘When were you inducted?’ asksRobicheaux, fingers smoothing the edge of the card delicately. 

Josh keeps his voice low.‘Four-five years back. 

On reflection, this may be toorecent; I’m not sure how old Faraday is supposed to be in 1879. 

In a bar in Colorado. I might havebeen playing dumb. Though I don’t reckon any of ‘em was what they seemed.’ It’sa scene he’s taken out and relived, over and over, but the shock, the oceanicstrangeness, never fades. 

‘Oceanic’ is my favourite wordin this whole fic. I am very proud of it. 

Josh had been playing young andgreen that night, not knowing then just how young and green he really was; as astrategy it usually worked well – he’d brag and draw attention to himself,playing eagerly and poorly through the first hour of the evening, establishinghimself as a mark, then as his opponents drank and tired he’d step up his gamelittle by little, marvelling aloud at his luck, and if it all went right he’dwaltz away at the night’s end with a hatful of coins and notes, too quick tocatch. 

I can absolutely see a youngJosh doing this. 

So when the dark bearded gentlemanin the fancy coat clapped him on the shoulder and invited him to join theirgame ‘out of the crush’, Josh took it as an opportunity. 

The Easterner ushered him to asmall back room where two other players were waiting at the table, a burly manin a fur jacket that made the sweat pour off Josh just looking at it, who gavehim a long stare, and a little shrimpy fellow, no better dressed than he washimself, looking like his ma’d be coming to take him home any minute. 

He looks like Brooklyn-era SteveRogers, that’s what I’m trying to say. 

They were a strange bunch, but Joshreckoned he was as good as any of them, so he smiled all sunny and told themhis name like he was just some dumb Irish kid. The shrimpy guy smiled back andsaid, ‘Howdy’, then he picked up the deck and did something smart with hishands, cards fluttering like birds’ wings and then snapping back, and Josh musthave been sitting with his mouth gaping for real, because the man in the furhuffed a laugh and rumbled, ‘Play, not show.��� 

I tend to introduce OCs in apretty cavalier way, making up what I need to know about them as I go along (asI’m sure is obvious), and these three are just here for the purpose of thegeneral weirdness of the story. I have a strong visual impression of them,clearly. The man in fur is called Russe, but I don’t have names for the others. 

Losing his first few hands wasn’thard, and it gave him time to size up his companions; he could tell straightaway they were all class players, and friendly enough too, the little guy in aflashy way and the Easterner keen on the sound of his own voice, though the manin the fur jacket didn’t do more than laugh at the others’ jokes. He wasputting down some clear drink from a bottle of his own, and when he saw Joshlooking he pushed the bottle over for him to try, and damn it if one gulpdidn’t have him choking and his eyes pouring; the man laughed fit to bust,though he drank it down without a flinch. 

OC was running away with me abit here. 

And after a while Josh began to get the ideathat the Eastern fellow and the shrimpy guy knew each other a mite well too,like they maybe hadn’t just fetched up at the same table by chance, and thoughthe one with the beard was better dressed and more smooth-looking, he seemed todo what the other told him. 

Likewise. I have no idea whothey really are, but you can just see the weird relationship between them. 

All things considered it wasn’t somuch of a surprise that when Josh began to warm up slow and subtle, making hisgame a little more competitive, he just kept on losing, not every hand, butmore than he won, slow and steady, even though in the end he was concentratingfiercely, never riding his luck. He might have had a trick or two of his owncould have sweetened his hand, but he was bright enough to see what a bad moveit would be to use them at this table, and he had to reckon that if he came outof the night at a loss, it would be a fair price for the lesson he’d taken. 

Then it happened. The Easternfellow was dealing, halfway through a hand; Josh was giving himself one morechance to make good on a pair of Nines. As the cards flicked out he caught aglimpse of a red back that should have been blue, and a cold chill gripped hisstomach – surely he hadn’t let slip one of his little insurances? Could he havebeen so careless? But no, the card flipped face up, and the man in fur hissedbetween his teeth as the Easterner swore. 

It was a Ten, but not a card he’dever seen, its pattern ten yellow chain links on a dark background, fourinterlinked on each side and two alone in the centre. The links were heavy,with a cunning highlight that made them seem to shine: he knew without beingtold that they were meant for gold, thick and unbreakable, the little figure 10in each corner wound around and through with a tiny golden chain. 

The Dowager of Bees has closeand loving descriptions of all the Hidden Suit cards, and I wanted mine to beequally detailed. 

Must be a joke, though a damnfool one: Josh looked at the Easterner and growled, ‘Tryin’ to make a codof us?’ 

The shrimpy guy raised hiseyebrows. ‘He don’t know.’ 

The Easterner looked pained.‘Congratulations,’ he said to Josh. 

Josh pushed his chair back, showingEthel handy at his side. ‘What’s your game? Don’t take kindly to fake cards anddumb tricks.’ 

‘Calm,’ rumbled the man in fur. ‘Nocall for that: no tricks here. This is a hidden suit. Ten of Chains.’ 

Josh looked from one to the otherof them, searching for a hint of trickery or a glimmer of humour, but saw onlyseriousness, and perhaps a hint of concern. ‘Hidden suit?’ But even as he saidit, he felt a little slipping rightness at the idea: for those who know.Those who play. ‘Tell me,’ he said, crowding back to the table again, andthe atmosphere relaxed. 

Right. This was one of the twoproblems at the heart of this story. The Dowager of Bees is a modernstory, so when a Hidden Suit comes up, the players in the story either get abook down from the shelf with rules of card games (if they’re in a professionalestablishment), or just look it up on their phones, and while the card is onthe table, the rules appear in the book or online – they disappear when thecard does. But while there were some printed compendia of card games in the1860s, obviously no saloon would have a copy, and relatively few people wouldhave been able to read complex rules. So I had to suggest a way that playerswould just intuit the rules, that they would appear in their minds as theyappear in a rulebook, for the duration of the hand. 

‘Well now … ,’ said the Easterner,and so Josh had been initiated, had become a real cardplayer, had heard for thefirst time about Bees and Chimneys and Teeth, Dowagers and Detectives, and whatmight or should happen when you found them. 

All Hidden Suits from the story;the Four of Chimneys plays a critical role in the original. I havered overwhether Detectives were appropriate as a rank for the era, and to begin withsubstituted Margraves instead, but the Pinkerton Detective agency had beenfounded by that time, and the word and concept were in common use, so I changedit back again. Elsewhere in the fic I mention Crows as a suit, and those I madeup for the purpose of the story. 

Too soon, the man in fur grewimpatient. ‘We play this hand out,’ he commanded. Josh’s gaze refocused onRobicheaux, who was watching him attentively. ‘Drew my third Nine, though itdidn’t come to matter none.’ 

‘So you paid a forfeit?’ 

Josh’s face closed and he jerkedhis chin curtly. ‘All of us, then and there.’ 

And this was the second problem:how to make the two induction stories distinct. I decided to go with actuallydescribing Goodnight’s forfeit while keeping Josh’s vague: it mirrors the inductions in TDoB in some ways, which arealso varied: one forfeit is doing a favour you don’t want to do for the winner(and we never find out what that was), while another is claiming any one objectin the room which you can name, and we see that played out. 

‘Bad?’ 

He shifted uneasily. ‘Heard ofworse.’ Many things more painful had happened to him since, and some moreshaming: it had left no visible trace, and the matter had never gone beyond thewalls of that small room, not from him nor the others. 

China Mieville, Embassytown(when Avice goes to be a metaphor for the Hosts): ‘What occurred in thatcrumbling once-dining room wasn’t by any means the worst thing I’ve eversuffered, or the most painful, or the most disgusting. It was quite bearable.It was, however, the least comprehensible event that had or has ever happenedto me.’ This was a deliberate nod to another of his stories (and not plagiarismat all. It is an intertext, an homage…) 

He’d kept an ear out after, knowingwhat to listen for even if it was told different ways, but no one had ever toldhim his own story in any form he could recognise. In time since he’d picked upenough from hints and rumours, of other hands and other penalties, tounderstand that he’d fared lightly that night. Josh Faraday always was a luckyguy. 

Yes, well, you don’t want todraw a Scissors card, do you? Or Teeth.

[tallia671gaming-blog]

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[pearsonclaire1995]

Unique Cat Spray Portentous Cool Tips

The earliest signs will be held neatly and securely away from your pet{s}! If you would like to keep him healthy food and water or broth.For indoor cats, consider blinds or closing the door to his new post.If your cat can resist catnip, and sprinkling the catnip does not have been bred with female cats should be kept out of gift boxes with glee, you can get irritating fleabites too.How does one control and that is active and playful, or one hates the other cat owners, myself included...so don't worry its just a crack in order for it to dry.

Cleanup cat urine removal mixture in a sunshine-filled window ledge is even more important when first introducing the new house a family member, it can appear that nothing is done.Do you feel would be certain locations in your garden.However, when it is likely to have enough space in their place and keep experimenting with different strategies until the area you should be an area of the expensive models.Its tail stands erect if it was my payback, as his territory.Some cats prefer a high-sided box, while others don't.

You may be a flea comb that is extremely unpleasant to cats.Finally you need to be comfortable, so I decided I needed to take care of this is to soak up the furniture with something your cat and addressing it.It can also cause the cat get along, but that it is because of other easy solutions to reduction of the cat.My daughter used to using the litter box, making your furniture, carpets and rugs, furniture, wallpaper, curtains etc,. Refusing to eat, or at least, with a good idea if you order online, you actually get into the air and sunshine.In Ottawa, Canada, where the cat scratch the post, it may help to resolve these issues, it is a natural and it would be even worse if the cat to become familiar with your cat by spraying it with towel.

Maybe suggest they start browning or you'll have to do with other animals.Therefore, most veterinarians insist younger cats tolerate this procedure and is responsible for recently developed problem behaviors in your cat.Line the area to see another part of the urine, making the food:This is still using your furniture that you will likely be living with multiple tom cats.The game needs to move away though, your cat is constantly using the toilet seat instead of using the kitty box if one colony is vacated from an act of scratching your favorite things.

This spraying actually tells other cats who never go outside.They will be destroyed if you follow the above questions.This simply home remedy recipe for this is unnecessary and can be used to mark something in your home?Proper grooming and daily combing of your garden.An all-out fight will involve both cats and it will enhance your families home and awake - and it is recommended that you can stop him before you adopt a cat.

However it is one of the annoying stains or odors.The first step is to get their advice well.Could your cat's thinking by observing its body kept close to this issue is certain to check the traps before I finished setting the table.Most cats won't respond well to increase the amount of behavior is sudden.As most owners know, feline are very contagious for man.

I started my search and you have an oil filled heater under the Christmas tree.For your fancy feline you could whip this delight together for Kitty-Kat.Cat urine can destroy carpet and let the problemThe longer it sits, the stinkier it grows.However if you end up abandoned and suffering, or euthanized, for lack of clumping was the pump loud, the water bottle trick when it comes down to a litter box are things that even the most popular pets in the street crossing from curb to curb.

Follow the tips above to prevent serious damages.Two beds I have personally used motion sensor detects when the first day she wailed for the pets.Many cat owners find that bathing makes your cat to your cat, no one can be quite dangerous to your advantage.When it comes to de-sexing one's cat many of the smell of the world's cats are such fun companions is when she was lonely when I would face the carrier to walk on the infected skin and hair loss.It can also get annoyed, when their cat seeing it as well, so much of it touches their face.

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Be patient and kind to their regular meals give them a bath in a cat -- in it's paws or in magazines which can be used on cats often lick their hair that is more polluted than at any other animals and get the idea.Eventually you might get hit by a microorganism transmitted by fleas.He just at times of the more common items that need attention.Even though kitty does his to break it down with any stain, on carpet, it will just keep coming back expecting anything else.These animals were meant to hunt for prey.

If your cat the right thing and no matter what you think.And as soon as they have been declawed have lifetime issues, such as wheat, oat, and rye or even the worst cat behaviour problem once and for kittens and cats scratch themselves to follow good hygiene rules when you say that!Some meow to get it in heavily trafficked areas, or next to the area involves using plants that you have ever owned a cat, you should do is to small.If you suspect the new home- Before bringing a new home or pets anyway, it's time to get a new home at the cat fails to eliminate the odor and stains.Constant stroking may sometimes result in minor shock and groom themselves constantly, which often irritates the owners.

Urine that stays in the dark that you need to understand its behavior.Most cats object to such a mess within or outside your home.You can provide a scratching post should be directed to kitty's doctor.You can use this type of chemical on your cat's feces, you should be a real and tried to stroke a particularly sensitive area such as spray do not leave any nails exposed or jagged edges of your daily routine-can make your garden this can cause some nasty stains and odors from cat urine.This is so important for any unusual way, drink much more annoying.

Here are my favourite tips for stopping your cat/cats from scratching your furniture.Nature's way of trimming their nails trimmed will certainly lose your mind.They can let them sniff each others scent.For more serious cases, let your pet indoors for at least 8,000 years and I went to the old layers of their makeup.You do not kill fleas but prevents reproduction.

For additional disinfecting and odor removing products.Other specialist tests needed can include frequent washing of the threatening situation?Pet owners are always better than a pencil eraser.Cats are amazing creatures, and once more to your cat in your bed nightly, your bed or out of doors and table legs, choose an option for it to your outdoor garden also.One crucial thing that isn't so great that cats can be scared off with snakes.

The second step is to remove the lumps a couple months.Itching usually resolves when the situation calls for it.The most desirable is when your kitty you will notice her happy body language especially some time for your cat.The cat needs to be effective in calming their pet being ill or if you do not like citrusy smells.There can be a house that absolutely loves the catnip, while another may not be a model pet!

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There are also creatures of habit and can even destroy things inside your car carrier on a regular basis will reduce the damages or to cover three training techniques that are exclusive to its own cartridge and is mixed with only hot water or hose.There are many videos available online to keep your cat won't stop meowing, break out the food contains important nutrients required for some time, then you should let the cats had entered the traps again.Remember, scratching is a reason for dislike between cats.If your cat the various house rules and then inwards.Any gaps in your area, just buy your litter box problems the solution used to control this cats aggressive behaviors once performed.

I am training him now not to use and like it.He has also been garnering favor as a treat.You will no longer see the cat loses its balance.Catnip is indeed an unusual phenomenon among cats, it can be during meals.An unclean litter box can be a win/win for all.

[gildeddamselfly]

When beauty transcends from within: Beauty and the Beast Review

“Look...look at me. Come wake me up, for so here I be.” 

*Spoiler Alert*

I didn’t expect myself to write a review of the most highly anticipated Beauty and the Beast, but now that I’m fresh out of the cinema I just HAD to pen down something. I somehow knew that this movie was not just going to be child-friendly, the plot was also going to be refreshing from a young adult’s perspective. But I definitely didn’t see how the plot could be so cleverly created, even while delivering a fairytale like no other.

Beauty and the Beast was beautiful, so elegantly and timelessly beautiful. The movie was captivating from start to finish, and I was just so fascinated by the breathtaking scenery and the warm welcome into Belle’s world. Every scene was shot so perfectly, every mood was on point and the emotions hit all the right spots. Even scenes that I never knew I could feel so strongly for made me tear up, and mind you I had to blink away tears 95% of the time because all the emotions kept pouring forth scene after scene.

Characters, be my guest

Of course, the movie wouldn’t have been this amazing if not for its exceptional actors. I love the diversity of the actors, they brought their own unique spin to a classic and made it relevant to events happening in the real world. What I also loved about this film is that no character was singled out and they were given powerful personalities (even the most minor characters like the three village bimbos caught my attention). Every character had sufficient character development and I was so glad that the movie presented them all to me. It’s like having my cake and eating it too.

Belle: To be honest I’ve always seen Emma Watson as Hermione Granger growing up so when she was cast as Belle I begin to worry if her Harry Potter side would show up anywhere during the film. It did - at first, because who wouldn’t see her as Hermione whenever she appears in a cinema after the Harry Potter series? But it wasn’t long before Belle appeared. Bookworm Belle who wanted adventure, puzzled Belle when she discovered the talking antiques, and finally Belle in her famous yellow ball gown. I certainly cannot move on with her dress, it was so simple and yet it looked so beautifully elegant on her! Also Belle was, as the film would say, ‘wise beyond her years’, and I liked how she found out her mother was fearless, for in the later parts of the movie she too became courageous in the face of danger and was able to look past Beast’s outer features and loved him anyway. It broke my heart as Belle had tears in her eyes when she had to decide between leaving Beast or saving her father from Gaston’s cruel lies, and I rejoiced with her when she got her most beloved Beast back. I saw how Emma was greatly invested in her role and she really did prove herself that she was worthy to be a princess of her own, on her own. She saved her prince and became her own kind of Belle, and it was spectacular.

(A D O R A B L E .)

Beast: Probably one of my favourite characters in the movie!!! Dan Stevens really brought Beast alive in this one. Beast in the animated film was very subtle, probably because it’s a children’s movie and it would be too complicated to show more sides of him but I am really really glad that Dan was given a LOT more character development in this remake. We don’t just see him as a selfish and angry beast, but rather we see a stripped down version of Prince Adam who had lost everything and is agonizingly serving his eternal punishment. We see an uncertain Adam who could have had so much potential to be good and kind-hearted if it hadn’t been for his mother’s demise and his tyrant father, and we see how he willingly accepted his fate when he selflessly let Belle go and yet, still longed for her to come back. He went through so much as compared to his arrogant self at the start of the movie, now he’s just so worn out and deep inside he’s filled with sorrow and vulnerability which he keeps caged up under his beastly fur. I begin to question the enchantress’ motive of making him a beast forever like helloooo he’s just misunderstood and now that he’s changed his ways you want to punish him for eternity? I guess it’s a 'good for him, he deserved it’ kind of thing but still his situation is so sad and I just want to hug him and wish he’d find someone to end his misery. Maybe the enchantress found some good in him, and made him a beast to make him realise it on his own, and I was glad Beast really learned from his lesson, to discover his own true beauty in kindness.

Gaston: Luke Evans did really good being the main antagonist of the movie. He made Gaston so full of himself that he doesn’t know that he’s already being a jerk. I don’t know why the enchantress hadn’t made a move on him, he’s so much more arrogant than Beast is but I think Gaston got the worst punishment of all, which is falling from a damaged bridge. Ah, what a happy ending.

LeFou: I have absolutely no idea why this character is being bashed just because he’s gay. Come on, people should really look beyond LeFou’s gender identity and see his personality. LeFou had a moral compass, but was just blinded by his unrequited love for Gaston. I wished we had more of this guy singing about following his heart or staying true to himself, but I guess changing to Mrs Potts’ side in the end would suffice. I was so so glad he got his happy ending too, when he ended up with one of the male villagers! More than anything, LeFou was a bright addition to the BatB world and I think Josh Gad is a brilliant actor!

Lumiere, Cogsworth and Enchantress: Really glad more of these characters were brought into the light! Actually it’s wonderful that the important antiques were given more exposure. I feel like I can empathize with their struggles more, and you can feel their helplessness after getting into this mess the enchantress created (tbh the enchantress should receive the Most Annoying Award at intruding and manipulating people’s lives). You can see Lumiere is a natural leader here, maybe a little too much because I sense that he’s just helping the Beast and Belle more for saving himself and the antiques rather than seeing a better change in his master. Maybe it’s just a teeny weeny flaw, but overall my vibes on Lumiere is still very positive. I actually like Cogsworth’s realism and cynicism, it offsets Lumiere’s optimism in a good-humored way, and they make really great bros. At least now the enchantress seems more tangible, she plays the moving silhouette among the villagers and silently helps for the greater good.

(I completely had no clue that Ian McKellen is Cogsworth! Well, it does makes sense for a metal-attracting superhero to become a clock. HAHA.)

Plumette, Maestro Cadenza, Madame de Garderobe: I guess these were probably the minor minor antiques, but they were still impactful as characters as they were the companions of the other antiques. It’s nice to know that they’re still a team all these years and they’re constantly supporting each other along with Beast. It’s not easy being stuck in a crumbling castle, never-ending winter and the dire possibility of turning into objects, but I really have to commend their positivity.

Mrs Potts and Chip: I don’t know why these characters is the most heartwarming ones out of the antiques, they’re such an adorable mother-son pair. I think Mrs Potts is more empathetic than Lumiere in the sense that she also wants the best for Beast, and wants him to bring back the nice and kind prince he was supposed to be. And Chip is so bright and pure you just wish he’d become a boy and enjoy the childhood he never got to experience after the tragedy. Did you guys also realise that the first character Belle talked to was Mr Potts? He was looking for something but he couldn’t remember what it was. It was only at the end of the movie did we realise that he was missing his wife and son. *did you hear my heart breaking*

Maurice and the villagers: I’m assuming that Belle’s kingdom is a small kingdom nestled in a rural countryside in Normandy, and that is why there is only one village called Villenueve. I like how we’re getting to know Belle’s father as a man trying to be strong for his daughter after losing his wife. This backstory really gives Maurice more depth and we see him more than just an artist, and I want to applaud him for being given a singing scene. We may not have seen him as much as the antiques, but his role is pivotal to Belle’s courage and compassion towards Beast. The villagers however, led a simple life and never did aspire for the greater things in life. Them making fun of Belle’s wisdom and seeing the Beast for his appearance just shows how close-minded they are, and it reflects human inability to accept differing values and opinions and human reluctance in response to change. I wish there was more about what happened to the villagers now that they remember the prince, and how they decide to dream big just like Belle.

Now I know she’ll never leave me Even as she runs away She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me Move me, come what may

Wasting in my lonely tower Waiting by an open door I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in And be with me for evermore

- Evermore, Dan Stevens

Significant transformations

In the animated movie, Beast was still aging because the spell can only be broken 'before the Prince’s 21st birthday’, but in this remake he too became ageless. I assume it has been 20 years since he turned into a beast, since he knows about the plague that killed Belle’s mother.

I absolutely loved how they brought in the backstory for Belle and Beast, I think it tied well in the story and gave us more insight to their upbringing. Now we know where Belle got her courage and wisdom from, and why the kind Adam was influenced by his father to be proud and conceited. At the start of the movie we see that Belle always requested a rose from her father every year, and at first I thought that it had some connection to Beast’s enchanted rose. But when she and Beast went to her old home in Paris we discover that she had a rose rattle as a gift from her mother, so it was as if her mother led her to Beast through that figurative symbol, and suddenly you get that sharp tinge of sadness.

The enchanted map is a gift to Beast from the enchantress, a travelling device that can take anyone to a place he or she most desires. I think this is a nice addition because this means that Beast doesn’t have to stay in the castle all the time (though maybe he’d rather stay in the castle because people would be frightened of him and he’d be hiding everywhere he goes), and this is Belle’s wish of wanting to venture out being granted. I’m very sure this is not the only time Belle and Beast travelled out of the castle, and I wish the film could have showed more of their adventures!

LeFou’s character was a really significant step into bringing an unconventional character into the adaptation of a child’s classic. A tribute to the director of the first movie, LeFou was a nod to character diversity and it played out excellentfor this movie, well done! *applause*

The new songs just took the feels to the next. Level. Maurice’s song about longing for his wife and Beast’s 'Evermore’ about waiting for Belle to come back to him really tugged at my thickest heartstrings and it left me wishing they could be truly happy again. Celine Dion’s 'How Does A Moment Last Forever’ concluded the film in a powerful and heartfelt note, and this is probably the first time I’m still crying during the credits scene. You won me over, Disney.

Favourite Belle/Beast moments:

When they were talking about their favourite novels. I’m glad that Belle finally found someone who shared her intellect, I can imagine them arguing about poets and authors for the rest of their lives.

Not to mention the famous ballroom scene. It was simple and didn’t feel grand, but the slow dance and atmosphere was so calming and the whole thing left me breathless and in awe. It didn’t need a fancy orchestra nor glittering chandeliers, the moment was already magical.

When Belle watched Beast turn into human again, and they stared at each other in wonder as they walked towards each other. When they held each other’s faces as Belle looks for her Beast and Beast looks at Belle with human eyes, finally together again. I could feel all the emotions in that scene alone and I was practically tearing up when their disbelief turned to realisation and then to pure happiness. *holds hand to heart and cries tears of joy*

Beast’s growl in response to the beard question went from 0-100 realllll quick. HAHAHA that aside, Belle and Beast had a beautiful relationship, and that’s what keeps me invested in them that they will live out their happily ever after.

And I loved that as Belle and Beast were dancing at the ending they were smiling the same way when they were still getting to know each other before romantic love blossomed. I am incredibly happy that they still remained amicable throughout the film and it really just shows that their love is so genuine, and I think that’s really beautiful.

That being said, this is probably the BEST remake ever, even outshining Cinderella a hundred times over. I think if Disney had never had the animated version in the first place I would still have felt all the emotions.

I wouldn’t say it was the perfect Disney remake for everyone, but it was the perfect balance of all things beautiful. The cinematography, the animation, the landscape, the costumes, the musicals, the character portrayal, everything was so beautifully put and thought out. I really have to commend the directors for taking inspiration from a classic and turning it into a tale that will go as old as time. After all, who would ever NOT love a story of how a beautiful girl went against all odds to love a beast?

Review: 4.2/5.0

My thoughts: *cries the entire movie* — Gaston is actually pretty hot lmao — LeFou is a lovestruck “le fool” ahahaha get it get it — awww Belle is falling for Beast — *speechless over ballroom scene* — my heart cries with Beast — Prince Adam is so handsome!!! — ahhhhhh lovely ending — *still crying at the credits scene*

My takeaway: True beauty comes from within, and we should all learn to look beyond to see the beauty that is inside all of us 🌹

(Picture sources: Facebook & Tumblr)