#I will shout to the void

[memorydragon]

Spoilers ahead. Confusing spoilers if you haven't started the novel, but if you're half-way through please scroll past.

So when I say this scene is what drove me mental years ago back when I first started reading Po Yun and Tun Hai, that reading it again even after so many years still made me feral. This was the Ride or Die moment that never left while translations were dropped and disappearing. Please understand when I say that reading again after reading the whole novel makes me 10x more feral than before. That is not an exaggeration. I am 100% not okay and these are crying in the club hours. F̴̻̹̊͑̉̿e̵̘̠͈͗ͅr̶̞̠͍̮̓̊͠ā̶͈̹̅̓͠ḻ̵͓̏͑͘.

Because Wu Yu's long, long panic attack, because when he's finally able to come up for air when the waves recede just the slightest, he's pushed back down again and again, because his 'safe' person has been taken away.

Because this 'elite' who had an easy life, just admitted he'd been dragged from the fire when he was nine years old after his parents were murdered in front of him. This person who wants to take him out of this hell and pull him back, who should be safe, is covering Wu Yu with his whole body, cradling his head and covering his eyes as a ruthless mob decends on them. Because this shouldn't be happening again - but death follows behind him mercilessly cutting everyone down but leaving him. Because dying is easy living is more difficult. Bu Chonghua's blood is on his face and this person should be safe but keeping their promise requires sacrifice. Please don't promise any more.

(Bu Chonghua was supposed to run. He was supposed to leave Wu Yu to deal with the mob. But if he'd done that, people would have died, and it probably wouldn't be Wu Yu, and he'd promised to pull Wu Yu back from this abyss. He wouldn't let the rage of the mob swallow Wu Yu like a wave, dragging him back under. As they beat him, he cradle's Wu Yu's head and covers his eyes, because he won't give Wu Yu up, not to the ocean or to fire, and I'm so fucking Normal about this.)

Liao Gang sees Wu Yu at the hospital and knows something is wrong. Something is off, this is not the meek and submissive Wu Yu they've met for these past few months. He correctly pulls Wu Yu aside and instead of admonishing him to go get checked over, he says 'hey, why don't you get checked out by the hospital because someone needs to look after Captain Bu tonight. If you let them patch you up, you'll be put with the captain.' And Wu Yu finally - finally relents and allows the hospital staff to look him over.

When the lights are off and he can't sleep because there's no light he tries to trace over the current Bu Chonghua with the memory of the child he'd saved in the past, and he can't sleep but he can finally breathe. Now he can agree that Bu Chonghua and Zhang Boming are different, that Bu Chonghua isn't just an elite who sends his subordinates to death for greater glory, but someone who wants to pull him back. (And I'm putting it more politely. I honestly love that Wu Yu is still sort of cursing Bu Chonghua out when he says this, because of course he is, and Bu Chonghua is immediately gonna chew him out for smoking. I love Them.)

But when he wakes up, Bu Chonghua is gone. The hospital bed is empty and cold, and there's a committee of directors who have come to question him. He asks where his safe person Bu Chonghua is, but they put him off, saying they just want to ask a few questions. Bu Chonghua has been isolated because there's been a death - death always follows him - and they're pushing the blame on him and Bu Chonghua. Why did Zhang Boming jump to his death? What did you say to him? Why did you survive? What right do you have to survive? He'll take all the blame on himself. He was the one who killed the suspect, Bu Chonghua didn't hurt any of the mob. It was him, it was all him, and what right do you have to speak about loyalty and sacrifice, when the hospital report on their injuries is right in front of you. They assume Wu Yu will see this is just a formality, but he doesn't have the frame of reference they knew he should It wasn't him with that frame of reference, he never had one and he lashes out. They're caging him, blaming him again, and what right do you have to talk about loyalty to someone who is on the front lines?

What right do you have to come back? What right do you have to survive?

After they sedate him and bring him back, leaving him in confinement (there's a bed, his wounds have been dressed, and there's even a tv and above average food left out for him. It's a plush confinement, only for one night. They think they're going easy on him and he should be grateful, because no one told them he's panicking and has been in danger undercover his whole life for twelve years and he hasn't been able to handle eating meat since he was a child. The lights are off when he wakes up, and he's alone. The lights are off and no one is responding when he asks them to turn on the lights. No one is there when he's progressively slipping back under the waves of panic. And when he lifts the lid on the food, all he can smell is meat.

He bites his own finger, trying to wash it out with the smell of the disinfectant from his wounds and blood, but he can still smell the meat that he spilt in his own revulsion and the lights are still off. (Wu Yu, little fish, I'm not blaming you, but please, please learn to talk about your triggers and let people know so they can accommodate you, because they would actually like to accommodate you and you're not weak because you have ptsd, you're breaking our hearts. Also, as an aside, Song Ping is actually quite hilarious in this fight. He's not to blame either, but he's making things so much worse and I love that Bu Chonghua has to yell at both of them to calm down because they're both set off on his sake)

And when someone finally comes, finally turns on the lights, they're blaming him. Look how you're acting! You're acting like a spoiled child when we've sacrifed been so nice to you! We've brought you back here, to this place you've worked for several months, your new home!

Except he never came back.

He was never brought back.

He was sacrificed for to catch the criminal. He died because his life was less important than catching someone on the wrong side of the law.

He was never asked if he wanted this sacrifice. He never wanted to be a cop. Who is Wu Yu? He's never had a name. Let him go, let him go - let him go!

He was never brought back. He never came back - Zhang Boming made the correct choice, but he never came back. The sacrifice was chosen, the promise was paid. Why did he survive? What right did Wu Yu have to survive when we he never came back.

"Wu Yu!"

He never came back.

"It's me. Okay, calm down." Someone restraining him, and he struggles automatically, but slowly stops. "It's me, Wu Yu. It's me. Just calm down."

Bu Chonghua came back. Held him above the water untll he could catch his breath. And finally, finally...

The boy left his own blood on Bu Chonghua's cheek, disappearing for twenty years, leaving only one command - Survive.

"I arrived late."

"I was just a little worried. It wasn't very late." It wasn't his whole life twelve years. It was only one nightmare. You pulled me back.

The boy who rushed off to save a child he didn't know finally appeared before Bu Chonghua again. He came back.

He came back.

[bardofavon]

not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

[funnyjokespunperson]

something about mimicking people you love

[katzenklavierr]

Umineko said

If you saw someone at their absolute worst, knew of their deepest regrets and darkest thoughts and most harmful impulses, are they still deserving of love and happiness? Could you forgive them? These are not the same question

Every person you know has multiple sides of themself, including faces you will never see, and this does not make any of these selves inauthentic

Identity is a struggle between the person you know yourself to be and the person others see you as; the line between these is not always clear

Names are tools of power

There is no wealth gained without bloodshed

There are some things in this world more important than knowing the absolute truth, and furthermore all truth is subjective and your interpretation of it is subject to change

Fiction is a conversation between the author and the audience, and it is mutual trust between these parties that allows stories to flourish

And more still. Man.

[cicimellie]

i cannot keep this jailed in my head any longer okay. I firmly believe the hollow knight has never and will never use a contraction in their life and what I mean by that:

like Ghost? absolutely. despite their very stoic nature they're out here spiting their 'purpose' as a empty vessel by speaking (however they might) in the most slurred, disjointed, vulgar way they can manage and they take great delight in it.

But I just KNOW in my heart of hearts that Hollow is the most pretentious, archaic guy out there. once you get past all the trauma and horror and pain and their siblings finally pull a coherent sentence out of them--like Ghost and Hornet are expecting their questions of "how do you feel what do you want" answered with, like, "I'm sort of fine I just want to rest" NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Hollow is going to hit them with thee thou and thy, okay. They were "raised" (loose!! Loose term, pale king my reluctant beloved) by an ancient wyrm-turned-king, okay. "Are you okay" is going to get the answer of "thy fears art wasted, siblings mine, on a vessel so impure and broken as I."

OKAY 😭 okay? I just need anyone to feel me. Like do you feel me? Hollow deserves to be a little pretentious. I want to read it so bad

[the-lone-wolffe]

Reblog to make your blog a cozy tavern for your followers to stay in/visit

[panicroomsammy]

Y’know I get where y’all are coming from with some of your “friends don’t look at each other like that” posts but also. I do look at my friends like that. I’m aro but even if I wasn’t I don’t think that would force me into loving my friends less. I’m out here looking at these guys with the most besotted look on my face. My friends can talk about things that I have zero interest in on my own and I will be so happy to have the privilege of listening to this incredible person talk about the things they care about. And I’m sure I’m looking at them “like I’m in love with them” while I’m doing it. Or my friends who are a couple will be talking about something that they did together and I’m just like “I get to watch two of my favorite people interact! And they love each other so much!” so yeah of course I’m gonna have a sappy look on my face. Idk where I’m going with this I’m just aro and love my friends so much and honestly if you don’t look at your friends like you’re in love with them? Skill issue.

[finniestoncrane]

[kaymarie-bell]

proper British gentleman with a strict mom and a need to follow rules that secretly longs to be in a band

Riddle Rosehearts 🤝 Edward Midford

[andarateiacantori]

am i crazy or has very little of what bioware has revealed so far been actual "spoilers" and not just very typical game marketing to get people interested in the story... like i get wanting to go in blind of course but then you shouldnt be watching this marketing stuff to start with lol

[lurkingshan]

Random QL Superlatives: 2024 Edition

My friends! It is time once again to reflect back on the year and give out some random ass awards to the things that gave me joy in the many QLs I watched.

In no particular order, this year’s winners:

Best Long Term Glow Up: Off Jumpol as Jane��in The Trainee

I've been simping for Jumpol since the Puppy Honey days, because I know potential when I see it! This year the rest of y'all finally caught up with me and realized this man is aging like a fine wine. We all won!

Most Valuable Prop: Aoyanagi Hajime Standee, I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama

Will anything ever make me laugh as hard as Akafuji opening the door to Aoyanagi Hajime while holding an Aoyanagi Hajime standee and then running for his life, standee tucked under his arm, to escape the mortification? If so, it's def another joke from this show.

Best Heart Destroying Angst: Every Moment of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Sometimes you just want a show to break your heart into a million tiny pieces and then stitch it back together, and there is no better version of that experience this year than this beautiful show.

Wackiest Premise That Somehow Works: Caged Again

Whomst could have predicted that a BL about a penguin who turns into a human, goes to high school, and falls in love with a panther would be one of the sweetest, most compelling stories of the year.

Most Precious Bean: Taishin, Takara's Treasure

Just look at his cute little face!! My son has never done anything wrong in his life. He's adorable and I won't hear a word against him.

Drama Child of the Year: Young San, Century of Love

My soul fully tried to leave my body every time this child appeared on screen. I must congratulate this child actor--his name is Chayanan Akkharadumrongdet--on perfectly embodying the spirit of an old man trapped in a tiny body. Give this boy an award!

Best Love Theme: Di Inakala by Paul Pablo, Marahuyo Project

Such a gorgeous song, first used while King reads Ino's letter and realizes Ino has feelings for him. Hits me right in the chest every time I hear it.

Best Sex Scene - Almond and Latte's first time, Knock Knock Boys

Everyone else can throw in the towel, this is the best depiction of a loving but awkward first time that will ever be committed to film.

Star of My Vision Board: Yako, She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat

Oprah said it best: “She is the mother I never had, she is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don't know a better person.”

Outstanding Achievement in Old Man Yaoi: Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

It's not every day that a show manages to sell you on a 20+ year age gap, but this one did it without breaking a sweat and had us all rooting for Ishida to eat that old man up with a spoon.

Best Sight Gag: Rock Lifting Karan Over His Shoulder, Cherry Magic Thailand

Is it the way Rock bends down and grabs him with no warning? The way Karan still does a polite wai over his shoulder? The way Dujdao scurries after them? Idk but it's been 10 months and I am still laughing.

Best Absolute Mindfuck: Love for Love's Sake

Sometimes a scene from this drama will flash through my mind and I'll have to spend a few minutes just staring at the wall, and that's how you know it was damn good.

Most Brainrot Inducing: Unknown

The way this story had a chokehold on my brain for three entire months was no joke.

Swooniest Love Interest: Mahasamut, Love Sea

Just look at this glorious man! And on top of all that visual splendor, he's kind and generous and brave and smart and competent and high key a smart ass. In this house we love Mahasamut!

Best Classic Watch: The Miracle of Teddy Bear

The most delightfully surprising watch of the year for me, and a great reminder to never, ever trust anything MDL commenters say about a show.

Y'all know the drill: feel free to join in and post your own superlatives, and please tag me if you do!

[valorant-reverie]

[meova101]

First Sam Bird tries to play strip poker with Lando and Oscar, then they allegedly practice for hours on how to lift a trophy together, now George and Alex are trying to get them together by gifting both of them padel lessons, and don't think I forgot about Oscar saying he doesn't play much padel with Lando "because he doesn't have the time", the romcom basically writes itself at this point

[funnyjokespunperson]

had a vision

[samusamab]

Objective Best Rooks for Each Companion Romance

Just finished my first full playthrough of Veilguard, so I now feel qualified to talk about the best/funniest rook race/class/faction combos for each companion romance. As always, feel free to argue if you want, but remember at the end of the day my opinions are always right (Government Mandated: this is a joke)

(PS: Race opinions may not be included, sue me. Also, light spoilers below, obviously. I'm pretty sure I got all the spoiler tags, but here's your fair warning just in case.)

Bellara: Grey Warden rogue. The bodice ripper girlie deserves a roguishly charming parter who is also a little dark and tortured, as a treat. Dating a Grey Warden feels like as close as Dragon Age gets to dating a superhero (but like, a broody one) and I think Bellara would love that dynamic. I have no strong opinions on race, but we'll say Qunari.

Taash: Elf Mournwatcher Mage. I may be biased, but I just finished a Mournwatcher Taash run, and seeing the way they talk about necromancy with Rook compared to Emmrich is so funny. Besides I think they'd enjoy a little goth elf to throw around.

Harding: The same combination as your inquisitor. Nothing better to me than establishing Harding having a strong type. Also very funny to imagine the inquisitor meeting Rook, the new partner Harding keeps telling them about, and they're a little too similar. Make Lace a little weirder and more fucked up (affectionate), she deserves it.

Davrin: Lord of Fortune Rogue. I see your "Davrin doesn't like the Crows because they're killers for hire" and raise you, faction of pirates and thieves that are literally just in it to beat people up and get as much loot as possible. It would be like if Isabella and Blackwall were a couple. I rest my case.

Emmrich: Mourn Watcher Mage. Listen, I know I already did this one, but let me be a little lazy. Admittedly, I am not an old man yaoi enjoyer (though I believe in their beliefs). So this one is mostly based around the idea of you Rook leaving to save the world, and ending up romancing the man who would've been their necromancy doctorate advisor.

Neve: Veil Jumper Warrior. Hear me out here, I'm obsessed with that one Neve voice line that reveals she knows nothing about the outside. Give her a wild child ranger-coded partner who lives in the cursed magic woods and would speedrun winning a season of Survivor. Make her have to go on hiking dates, it's enrichment.

Lucanis: Shadow Dragon Mage. Look, I know this is just Neve in a different font. But I'm obsessed with that Taash line about Lucanis and Neve dating where she implies their relationship has a predator-prey dynamic because he's a mage killer. Not that Lucanis is that kinky, but a Rook can imagine. Even if it ends up the other way, I'm all game for a short king magehunter getting tied up by his mage-dom.

Honorable Mention: I think it would be hilarious to romance Taash as an AFAB-Nonbinary Qunari Lord of Fortune. Just helping your hot coworker speedrun all of your own past life experiences. Please let me know if you've done this, and if it was worth it.

[elluminis]

fascinating to me that up until he’s eight years old, the only positive role models in sanji’s life are women. and the only people who are nice to him are the cooks and wait staff. like it’s absolutely no wonder that he idolizes women and wants to be a chef—until he meets zeff, only women have shown him kindness and only his cooking inspired positive attention. and under the tutelage of people who understand using violence to protect as opposed to project, he becomes even stronger than his brothers, next to whom he had been considered a failure. just…sanji, guys.