#I went with something early ish & a bit general so we can see how they flow ??

[1stspectred]

LOG #01 . LIARA : @tempesttragedy , SC.

THERE IS AN UNSENT QUESTION AMONG THE CREW. could they trust liara ? they think of matriarch benezia, and wonder if this is some kind of secret ploy. one of saren's way to take them down from the inside. even the council had questioned her. but they hadn't seen liara trapped to protect herself. nor the geth and krogans saren had sent after to kill her if she didn't comply. besides, calliope knew a thing or two about people forming opinions of you due to your parents' legacy. in every ship of her entire navy career there'd been someone that either knew of or had served with one of her parents.

" dr. t'soni ? " it feels a bit strange to use her title after liara has seen inside her mind. but calling her by her first name seems unprofessional. " i wanted to check how you were doing. i figure it must be quite the change from your research. " a military ship, and on world missions must be a very different everyday life from archeological sites. and not to mention the revelations about the protheans and the reapers, that changed her life's work.

[adickaboutspoons]

So we've talked a lot about the different illustrations of Blackbeard used in the show and how they differ and compare to actual historical depictions, and the subtextual significance thereof. But today I want to talk about the metatext.

Because it's weird that three such radically different depictions of Blackbeard should be contained within one book, right? And not a book called, like, "The Many Faces of Blackbeard" or something to suggest that said book is specifically about him and only him.

And, would you look at that - "Howard Pyle's Book of Pirates is a really real text that was published in the 1920s and is therefore available for free on-line (CW - this text is very much of its time and contains extremely repugnant racist depictions of characters of color). Short side-note, and then I want to get back to talking about the book itself. Howard Pyle was an author and illustrator in the late 19th/early 20th century, who is credited with being THE GUY who created the modern idea of what the pirates of the Golden Age of Piracy looked like, with billowy culots, long, wide sashes around their waists, head scarves under broad-brimmed hats, and gold hoop earnings.

And it's a total fabrication. Yeah. He based The Look largely on the Spanish Romani. So in the show we've got all these contradictory and erroneous illustrations of Blackbeard in this book of this guy who gave us That Pirate Look, knowing full well those illustrations were made up of whole cloth. And I just think that's a neat little extra layer of subtext.

So is Blackbeard even actually in the really real book? Yes. Ish. The first chapter of the book is dedicated to talking about real pirates of the Spanish Main and Blackbeard is featured from page 28 - 32 including a black-and-white illustration entitled "Blackbeard buries his treasure".

It's this very strange tone of being worshipfully tantalized by how he was a REAL pirate (as contrasted with Captain Kidd who was just a namby-pamby PIRVATEER 🙄) and just EVER so CLEVER, but also breathlessly scandalized by what a v. bad, awful, TERRIBLE curr he was. Here's a sample so you can see what I mean: "But with 'Blackbeard' it is different, for in him we have a real, ranting, raging, roaring pirate per se—one who really did bury treasure, who made more than one captain walk the plank, and who committed more private murders than he could number on the fingers of both hands; one who fills, and will continue to fill, the place to which he has been assigned for generations, and who may be depended upon to hold his place in the confidence of others for generations to come." All in all, it's mostly just a gloss the likes of which you can get out of glancing at the Wikipedia page. It doesn't even mention Stede in relation to Blackbeard except as an offhand comment about how apparently "Major Bonnet" (who is otherwise only mentioned in one paragraph that dunks on him for being unable to commit to the bit of being a "proper" pirate) swung by and picked up a bunch of sailors Blackbeard had marooned. No mention of the fact that Bonnet and Blackbeard sailed together for awhile. Or that said maroonees were prolly Bonnet's men who stuck with Blackbeard after the breakup they went their separate ways.

After the first chapter, the book mostly seems to be stories of fictional pirates (or at least wholly fictional stories that happen to use the names of real pirates incidentally. You know - like our little show).

But so what? Surely the show just used a real book as a prop and stuck their homegrown Blackbeard fanart in willy-nilly to make it look like part of the text, right?

About that.

So I actually found Howard Pyle's Book of Pirates by doing a search for the text on the pages opposite the illustration when Stede presents Ed with the book for his approval, and again when Izzy is perusing the book before he goes on his "THIS is Blackbeard" screed. And the stories from which the texts are taken are somewhat revealing.

The story opposite the illustration Stede presents is "The Ruby of Kishmore". It's about a man who is fundamentally opposed to committing acts of violence (he's a Quaker), who is indirectly responsible for the deaths of three men. The first dies when he attacks the Quaker, and in the course of their struggle, is accidentally stabbed by his own blade. The second dies when he attacks the Quaker, and in the course of their struggle, accidentally shoots himself with his own gun. The third lures the Quaker to a secluded spot and attacks him, and in the course of their struggle, he drowns (no cannonball to assist, but I think you're picking up what I'm putting down).

The story opposite the illustration Izzy is preoccupied with is "Tom Chist and the Treasure Box". The eponymous character is an orphan from Bristol. He's called Tom Chist because he was found as an infant inside a chest bearing the initials T.C. that washed ashore from the wreckage of a ship from Bristol and the woman who found him had recently lost a baby named Tom; so the new baby is Tom from the Chest (and, incidentally, isn't "Chist" an interestingly Kiwi pronunciation of "chest"). The man who raises Tom Chist is an abusive alcoholic. One night, Tom chances to spy on a pirate who comes ashore to bury a treasure chest. But when he goes back the next day for the chest himself, he finds that, while it does contain treasure, it mostly is full of blackmail material. So the abused orphan from Bristol, who is named "chest"-with-a-kiwi-accent unearths a chest full of sensitive material that can be used for leverage. It's hardly even a metaphor at that point.

I don't think there's anything particularly deep going on here - just a fun little Easter egg for those who go looking.

[lost-technology]

Hello, fellow Trigun fan who's way older than me! So you're a Trigun fan since the early 2000s, what was it like back then?

From what I can remember of it, just as weird as it is now. I can remember it being slightly less sexualized? There was plenty of horny-obsession with the characters then, but it seemed like there was a little more room for general stuff. Vash x Meryl and Wolfwood x Milly were more popular ships then than they are now. Vash x Wolfwood was wildly popular (all the yaoi / slash ships were, Vash with Wolfwood, Vash with Knives, Knives with Legato), but there was more attention on the het ships, as well. The het ships were actually as popular as the slash ships. When all we had was the '98 anime, but invested fans knew of the manga, there were a few people who had access to the manga who could read Japanese who would do their own scans and translations of various...and dubious quality. We waited for bits and pieces with bated breath, but never knew how wonky the translations were or how much of a personal bias toward their own fan-theories / ships /whatnot any given translator was putting into their uploaded scans. This continued on even after Dark Horse translated and printed the manga officially in English, because those of us who were collecting the print-manga were still looking up scans to see the rest of the story that hadn't come out of Japan yet. It was a time before the social media giants we know today, so fandom was on message boards, BBS boards and forums dedicated either to general anime or to Trigun in particular. There were also fan-groups on places like Livejournal. I remember being a part of a Livejournal called "100 Bullets," which was for "drabbles" - fanfiction of exactly 100 words. People would throw out prompts and writers were challenged to create little 100 word fics from it. There is a such thing called a "double drabble," which was 200 words, but "100 Bullets" confined things to 100 (no more, no less) as a challenge. I see the young 'uns (in all fandoms) throwing out the word "drabble" to just mean short fic and then writing something that's 700 words or so and I am just inwardly screaming "No! This is NOT how that works! This not how that works at all!" On a board I went to, Trinut, we had a little writing contest to make up our own ending for the manga before the ending came out. I wrote a story that I still kind of like (over on fanfiction.net) where Vash and Knives killed each other and the area of their last battle was haunted by their ghosts / energy. I might bring that one over to Ao3 someday... That kind of thing was pretty much how we expected it all to end. Some people were actually ANGRY that the manga got a happy-ish ending. There was one jagoff and his friends who created a BBS that got popular because he had "inside information from a friend in Japan" that Trigun was getting a revamped series like Hellsing Ultimate that was going to fit more with the manga (this was back in 2009 or so). People followed him for information. His handle was MillionsLivio if I am recalling correctly. He was rude and stuck up and not many people on Trinut or other boards liked him at all, but loads of people flocked to his board (I forget the original name of it, but it eventually shifted to all-anime and rebranded as Blue Panda). I joined it briefly because a friend wanted to do a roleplay and preferred me as a Vash-roleplayer over their resident one. I quickly quit after I realized that MillionsLivio's ACTUAL NAZI RHETORIC and racism WEREN'T him doing a fake "early 2000s Internets' edgy" persona, but were his actual viewpoints - shared by his core circle of friends. Like I said, I couldn't stand the guy, but a lot of people thought that people like that were faking it just to get a rise out of people, you know, reddit-troll types. In hindsight, here in 2023, we know by know that all of those edgelords were...the real thing. Yes, I met an early alt-righter in Trigun fandom of all places. (At least he actually hated Vash. He was a Knives and Livio fan, but you know, I don't understand how anyone could like Trigun at all and be... like that). The world is weird.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki Episode 4 Coherent Thoughts

Spoilers for Episode 4 and before, obviously.

Christ, I have come up with ANOTHER fic idea that has to be posted before Thursday if I want it to be relevant for a little bit, and boy howdy, it is not short.

I think Sylvie got to Mobius. I'm gonna time it next time I watch it (and report back here when I do), but I'm pretty sure even if Loki and Sylvie's conversation happens at the same time as the scene in OB's workroom that immediately follows, there was still enough time for Mobius to look into his memories and get hot cocoa before. Even if he just finds files somewhere and tucks them away to look at later. [EDIT: YES. Sylvie and Loki's conversation in "pie land" takes about 4 minutes and 31 seconds. If we assume the hot cocoa machine takes 1 minute roughly, the total time he's with OB, Casey, and Timely plus that minute is 2 minutes and 42 seconds, leaving 1 minute and 49 seconds to do something that helps him figure out his memories. What that something is in that time, I don't know, but that's still almost 2 minutes of time unaccounted for.]

Listen, I know it's episode 4 so it's too early to be in pain. I know it. But goddamn I still feel bereft. That look on Loki's face that they left us with HURT MY SOUL. (And also I was there (kind of) for Supernatural at the very end and shit went down two episodes before the finale and DID NOT GET ADEQUATELY RESOLVED and I'm not gonna say I was traumatized because that's dramatic, these are tv shows, but I'm a milder version of traumatized. I've been burned by bad endings that started two episodes before the end before.) And I'm just really upset about seeing Loki in pain in general (don't get me wrong, DO IT, it gives me writing ideas and hurts really good, but ouch), and the comics seem to be implying some worrying shit coming down the pipe for my boi, so I don't like shit happening from both ends. I DON'T HAVE THE CAPACITY TO HANDLE IT, Y'ALL!!

I feel like we're going to restart the clock next ep, but I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GONNA DO THAT. The Loom (or timeline, I'm gonna get to this thought in a post tomorrow) exploded without any time for the main six to turn back the clock.

I haven't talked about it much on here, because I don't want to address a rumor and I don't want to believe it, but I have been dreading episode 5 since ep 1 because of Mobius and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Spoiler. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm very suspicious of this rumor and also a little superstitious of looking at it head-on because I don't want it to be real, so unfortunately you're gonna have to go into the lokius tag yourself to see if you can find it. It might also be in the Mobius tag. There is ONE good-ish possibility for this possible spoiler if it's legit, and it would be that it might prove one of my theories (plus maybe something else if they do it justice, but I don't have too much confidence they will), but either way it kind of upsets lokius and I'm not thrilled by that. I have a theory that's coming tomorrow that could have this happen while still giving us lokius endgame, but given how much time is left in the season I'm not very confident so I'm just gonna sit here for the next few days and pray it was a troll.

Also: "oh no" is a code phrase I've started with my friends that has made its way into my personal reaction notes, and now congrats, you've been (unwillingly) witnesses to it now, too. It means "I am starting to ship this and I don't want to-slash-I know I shouldn't, but I am." And (yike) if you recall this showed up on the reaction about Sylvie jumping into the lokius bickering. I'M NOT SAYING that I ship sylkius. I'M NOT SAYING that I'm GOING TO ship sylkius. I'm just saying I had THOUGHTS when she did that and I didn't love the thoughts I had. I think episode 4 of season one was when I started shipping lokius, though, so...fuck. (It should be noted that 90% of the time I go "oh no" just in general, though, I forget about it pretty quickly afterwards, so statistically it's unlikely.)

[depoteka]

my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs

(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)

37. iceland: diljá - power

it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it

36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun

oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song

35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart

i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least

34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say

it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision

33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite

i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me

32. ireland: wild youth - we are one

we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it

31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo

baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard

30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração

something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun

29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)

the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes

28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn

israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me

27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more

brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho

26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song

i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board

25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight

ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it

24. georgia: iru - echo

english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential

23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart

bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama

22. estonia: alika - bridges

we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh

21. armenia: brunette - future lover

imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough

20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)

they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me

19. sweden: loreen - tattoo

i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison

18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal

hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf

17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel

was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe

16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings

ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it

15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava

i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more

14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem

at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english

13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay

it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(

12. belgium: gustaph - because of you

i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool

11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna

the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it

10. australia: voyager - promise

banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds

9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!

i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on

8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje

the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks

7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea

when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year

6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter

yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3

5. france: la zarra - évidemment

i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool

4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown

liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back

3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā

OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year

2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?

what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year

1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha

what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006

[okami-zero]

OC Name Meanings

I appreciate the tag, @kittynomsdeplume! xD

Rules: Google and post the meaning of your OC’s name (if you made their name up or they go by a nickname, post an explanation of how it came to you)! bonus if you can find something for their last name too.

I believe I shall tag... @elveny, @vasheden, @greyias, @traveleorzea, @autumnslance, @kunstpause, @sasslett, @clockworkdragonffxiv, @karoiseka, @yzeltia and anyone else who see this and wants to join in!

Okay, so one thing to note about most of my OCs, is their names generally just pop out of the random mess of alphabet soup constantly simmering in some corner of my brain. Not ALL of them (for example, Akagi's family name), but most. Or are inspired/pulled from other places. I will go with my big three main MMO fellas, and my two 100% original OCs. Also, have a cut cause I, uh, got carried away. ^_^; (And I am sorry this took so long. >.<)

Zedd Overkill/Zed'rika Ov'redis- Okay, this guy. My half-echani smuggler in SWTOR, who is based on the original I made ages ago (and who is the descendant of the SWTOR one, after some revisions/additions/etc.) The OG is Zedd Overkill, inspired by my favorite Power Rangers villain (Lord Zedd), the head agent from MiB (Zed, as in the letter) and with inspiration from Hackers (Crash Override), a dash (heh, pun) of Dash Rendar from Shadows of the Empire and a maybe just a hint of Han solo. The name popped into my head after watching Hackers and was trying to think up a cool email during computer class (back when Hotmail was still Hotmail xD). The name was repurposed with a smuggler character I made with a friend when we were just making up neat Star Wars OCs for a maybe story we were writing. Story never got finished, but Zedd stuck around. "Overkill" is more a nickname now, as his preferred method of rapid problem-solving involves liberal applications of thermal detonators. x3 Rav Masahiro & Marshall O'Donnell - These two are my second oldest persistent OCs after good ol' Zedd. There is technically one that is older (in fact, old enough that he used Zedd's moniker for a while, back when folding an OC to fit any AU was my MO), but he's kind of only half-baked, for the most part. Rav and Marshall are next in line, and are, by and large much more polished. The story they were to be set in was very grand in scale and scope, considering it was kind of a series of AUs where things in various realities were being fucked with, and they are two of a team of six who are sent out to deal with such things. If this sounds like a certain popular video game franchise from a prominent Japanese publisher, you'd be right in there being some similarities, I guess, but they predate it by about a year. Well, technically Rav predates it, Marshall didn't crystallize until about a year or so later. Powersets are very shounen-ish, I guess? Little bit of henshin and other stuff thrown in for flavor (and things have been tweaked and appended over time). Anyway, Rav's name comes from a reworking of my own name, as he is kind of my self-insert-ish guy. His last name comes from my at-the-time rampant obsession with Japanese culture (yes, yes, I'll say it, I was a weeb. The interest remains, though tempered by time, experience and education). I thought his last name meant something else, as Googling in those early days was... a crap shoot. And the fact that Masahiro is a given name in Japanese hasn't deterred me, as embarrassing as it might be, it just... is a thing now. xD (The other half-baked OC I mentioned has a similar nomenclature goof). Marshall's name kind of just, popped out of the ether, but it flows well and it fits. She does let people close to her shorten it to "Shall" (sounds like shawl). Do NOT call her "Marsh", "Marshie" or "Marsha" or she'll deck you. Like, lay you out flat with one punch. Moving on!

Xanotos Delkai - My Warrior tank in WoW. Another lad who went through some changes. xD So my first character in WoW was a human hunter back in the...alpha or beta, whenever it was they were originally playable before getting nixed. His name was Thanatos, inspired by the character of the same name from a Sega CD fighting game Eternal Champions: Challenge from the Dark Side. He was a typical Grim Reaper-y Death (as Thanatos was the personification of death in Greek mythology, and a psychopomp, I believe). I liked the name. However, the character was nuked after the alpha or beta or whatnot. So, when I remade the character for the full version, I rolled up a Warrior and named him Xanatos/Xanotos (depending on the server), or Xano. Now, I have remade and moved this character many times over the years. Delkai became his surname at some point, and when worgen came out, he was race-changed to worgen, and his backstory was shifted and fleshed out further. Fun fact: the Gargoyles TV series was the farthest thing from my mind when I made this toon, and was for many years. It wasn't until... just before or around Legion, I think? that I realized I had named him the same (if spelled differently) as Evil 90s Will Riker. xD

Akagi Obinata - And now we get to my most recent and most prevalent MMO OC, Akagi. Paladin, Tankfriend, tol dragon/lizard man. So, sadly, this boy is the third I have given a Japanese-style name to, and borked the order of, because Akagi is a freaking surname. >.< Now, I am aware that Hingashi (he was born and raised in/around Kugane) is only kind of Etheirys-Japan, but... I am just...moving on! The inspiration for his given name is one Akagi Shunsuke (or Shunsuke Akagi, in Western fashion) from the anime Dai-Guard. It is an absolutely insane super robot show and I love it, and I see a lot of myself in one of the protagonists (the aforementioned Akagi Shunsuke). So, in honor of a favorite character, I chose that. Forgetting, or blindly ignoring the fact that just because everyone in the show (save for his one relative we see) refers to him as Akagi because it is a cultural thing, and not because it is his given name. >.< What's done is done, however. His surname, thankfully, is one from a list of suggested surnames from the raen au ra lore I could find. It means "blades on waist", and I figured that there were samurai in his family line far enough back that that was the name they took. Akagi, by the way, is if I am not mistaken, "red castle", and well, he IS red. And the Paladin LB3 is a freaking castle WALL, so... it fits in a retroactive kind of way. xD (I was not thinking of his coloring, nor was I aware of what the LB3 looked like when I made him. ^_^; )

And that is it! Do I have more OCs? Yes! But they are all kind of self-contained to different things, and their names are more of a kind of mental slot machine than these goobers (plus the one xD). Hopefully I didn't ramble TOO too much, but I get excited about my homemade blorbos, y'know how it is. Thanks for reading!

[firelightfoxes]

lichen update

general/appearance:

she turned 5 months about a week ago now. i still feel like she’s very tiny so maybe she’ll hit a growthspurt soon. her coat is definitely coming in though! she is one of the (few?) mudi who didn’t lose her coat in toddlerhood. but she has some really beautiful curls coming in and she’s definitely losing more of her baby fuzz. her coat is so shiny and i love the way it feels, still super soft too.

i still really like her structure. i hadn’t stacked her in a while and honestly i was kinda scared because she’s in the age where puppies start looking real awkward and wonky - but i think she looks nice still. i have high hopes for her structure when she’s grown. i know there isn’t really a guarantee of structure until they’re fully developed but she’s had consistently pretty nice structure since she was like 11wks. show dog show dog

the good:

i absolutely love her. we’ve bonded a lot. she’s so good. when i hang out with her i feel like i’m hanging out with a friend. she really doesn’t make a whole lot of noise. she whines (peeps) sometimes but usually only for the first few minutes that she’s crated and then she settles down. i’ve been sick for the last week-ish and she’s spent a lot more time in her crate than usual and she’s been a CHAMP about it.

she’s so playful, she loves toys, she doesn’t bite my hands or anything she shouldn’t. we just play play play and i love it. she’s so silly too. we don’t play a whole lot of fetch but she basically learned how to fetch naturally (Ava still doesn’t really get it lol). she loves training, she still works happily for kibble but outdoors i usually use actual treats anyway.

she seriously doesn’t have a naughty bone in her body. she learned very early on how to discriminate between her toys and other things that aren’t for her. we just moved so there’s been random shit all over the floor that would be pretty understandable if she confused something on the floor for something she could play with. but she literally hasn’t! her toys even got tangled in some lantern lights we were hanging up and she went and inspected it and pulled her toys out and left it alone lol. i curiously waited to let her inspect it to see what she would do and she impressed me. she’s just so happy and a total people-pleaser so as long as i can communicate what i want she will do that 90% of the time. again, impressive for such a young puppy and i feel really lucky.

she likes other dogs and likes to play with them. she takes a bit to warm up to strangers (human or dog) but once she does she’s silly and happy like always. she’s also had some good play sessions with dogs significantly larger than her so i’m happy about that, since she’s so small.

overall, she’s just so cute and happy and silly. she makes me laugh all the time. we haven’t known each other for that long but i feel like we’ve learned to communicate quite well already.

the we’re-working-on-it:

still kind of working on potty-training. we moved about 3 weeks ago and she’s had a few accidents since then - super understandable because i know it takes a bit for dogs to generalize and especially a puppy who is still getting the hang of potty training. overall i think she’s got a decent grasp of the concept but i think she doesn’t spend enough time in certain parts of the new place to know that they are no-potty-zones. like, i can basically trust her to be out in my office without worrying about an accident, which is nice.

reactivity! she got through her first fear period without too much issue (aside from me fretting over everything constantly) but i think i might’ve mentioned it before - at the beginning of the fear period, she got charged by 2 chihuahua-things who were barking. it really freaked her out and i think some of the (mild) reactivity she still has is kinda from that incident. maybe. idk. but either way, she definitely isn’t really fearful anymore. in certain situations she’ll quietly boof at strangers/strange dogs but sometimes she doesn’t mind them; i’m not really sure what changes between those situations but the fact that it’s not consistent makes me feel better. we got approached by a little dog dragging a child over to us and Lichen was NOT having it, she growled like crazy and postured at the other dog and i told the kid to please stay back. he managed to redirect the dog to the side of us so they stopped approaching. she didn’t seem scared like i’ve seen her before, so i don’t think it’s a super problematic instance especially bc she could’ve been remembering when she got charged when she was a bit younger too. or maybe now she just doesn’t like little dogs approaching her. idk. either way, something to work on but not super alarming and hopefully we will work past it.

i think those are really the only two things we’re working on. other than that she is really lovely. i definitely got the perfect puppy for me and i’m so excited i get to watch her grow <3 also if you read this far i love you

[wndaswife]

hi rae <3

i’ve come to realise that our last few talks were about me!

so i wanted to know more about u!!!

i remember reading once that u live in Canada? right?i assume it’s very cold there! r there a lot of moose around? we don’t have those here in new zealand. i think they brought them over but they went extinct :(

do u have hobbies? play an instrument?

oh! i seen u reblogged the post for a anonymous message saying what we think of u!!

sooo i’ll do it while i’m hereeeee

i feel u r a very warm person. u probably pay attention to the very last detail. your blog reminds me of the warmth from a campfire if that makes sense. i bet ur a very attentive listener. i like how u respond to anons and stuff because it feels u actually read what they said and took the time to responded accordingly. i find u very funny and omg ur writing!! very well done. trying not to overkill here but ur vv cool.

anyways i hope ur well <33

hello!!! :> we did talk about you in our last talks but there's nothing bad about that, though im happy to tell you anything you wanna know about me!! <3 im really rambling here too it's rly early and i have a lot of energy so this is a forewarning !!!

yep i live in canada!! it's relatively cold but not colder than other places that get regular winters and stuff. i live in the very south part of canada so im a bit warmer here, tho vancouver and especially the north like nunavut and yukon are very cold, so i also see why the entirety of canada is generally viewed as colder than most places

which actually may or may not be true idk but where i am it's not soooo bad, except we do get pretty intense winters here and there. actually this winter a lot of people in my region had a bunch of power/heat outages etc etc for a few days, so winters r usually very cold.. is that normal for people outside of canada?? like on average? 🧐 there is a funny stereotype where we live in igloos and stuff LOL in quebec there's a huge winter festival where people can go to ice hotels and stay there, and those desserts where people pour maple syrup onto snow and eat it is actually real tho i've never tried it

hehehehe that's funny about the moose 😭 i've never seen one!!! i think it's also a popular idea that there r a lot of moose! not around where i live but more secluded nature-y parts of canada, which is mooooost places i think?? i have a bit of an uneducated view maybe because i've always lived around toronto which is very city-like. they're huuuuugeee actually and run super fast god i would wanna see one in person but keep my distance for sure. i have a friend from new zealand! i've never talked to anyone from there before him and his accent was a real mix of things i thought, never imagined i'd hear scottish and australian sounding accents in one person! my friend and i were just talking about how weird it is how there r animals all over the world, like cats in russia or bunnies in egypt or something,, like how did y'all get there for real what are u even doing there (i mean the answer is obvious but it's a slightly weird thought)

ummmm hobbies ah i like to read and write uuuuhhhmm i like graphic design! like i used to do it on adobe photoshop tho i haven't done it in a while, i like to swim (even though it's very rare that i get to) and no i don't play any instruments! took piano lessons for a few months (ish?) before tho. what about you? do you play instruments and what r your hobbies?

thank you so much for saying that T_T that's really really nice of you to say and i think i do make an effort to put that energy across sometimes, it's just nice to be kind and it makes me rly happy to imagine being able to make people feel seen and comforted! i personally really value comfort as well :D ehehe thank u for saying you think im funny that's very sweet and im glad, i think sometimes my humour may not rly reach people 😭 😭 i think you r a really cool and very lovely person too <33

im doing well yes!! thank u for checking in and i hope you've been doing alright too 💓💓💓💓

[hi-intrepid-heroes]

hii so ive seen you posting about gming and i just want to ask you if you were anxious early on, and if you were, how you went about overcoming it? i know gming can be fun for me and i have a lot of cool ideas but im scared of like messing up and ruining the game for my players.

hi!!

thank you so much for sending me this!! i've been dm'ing for about a year now but we don't play super regularly so i still feel like a new-ish dm if i'm being honest. i'm still nervous before sessions and am still learning but some of my tips for overcoming anxiety are (note after writing: this got SO LONG sorry i hope it helps!):

-pick the right players: i think when you're starting out it's really important to have players that you trust! i'm really lucky and i play with people i've been friends with for like 10 years so i'm really comfortable around them, but in general try to have players that you trust not to hold mistakes you make (see tip #2) against you. it's easier to just go for it and try some things when you're comfortable around your players

-accept you're going to mess up sometimes: we all make mistakes, especially when you're learning a new skill, which is what dm'ing is. i don't know all the rules by heart, i have to change things halfway through sometimes, i sometimes run a not so great session, and that's just kind of. how it is. not everything's gonna be a banger. for me, it's really nice to address that? like, i recently ran a thing where two pcs were involved in a duel while the other two were just waiting, and they clearly got bored. so when the duel was over, i turned to them, said 'this was boring for you, right?', they said 'yeah' and i nodded and said 'cool, then we won't do it again', made a note of it, and move on. i cannot emphasise how much addressing something i did wrong due to miscalculation (i thought it would be shorter + more interesting for the pcs not involved), acknowledging it was a mistake and that i now know it doesn't work, and then just moving on instead of lingering on it helped in overcoming the anxiety around mistakes was. i tend to linger on my mistakes and by addressing it, i removed both doubt in my mind about how the players felt + doubt in their mind about whether i caught that it just wasn't that interesting, and that gave me the space to simply get on with the parts of the story that are interesting!

-find someone to talk to about your campaign that isn't your players: it's so nice to just braindump to another person sometimes, and this doesn't have to be someone who plays dnd! for the longest time, i would just talk to my mum about it, and simply the act of explaining to someone else what was happening and what i was struggling with helped me solve my own problems!

-prepare as much as you feel is necessary: i see a lot of people warning against over preparing and although you want to try and not railroad your players, preparing is great and in the beginning i prepared a lot! i'm now confident enough to improvise fantasy shots when necessary but i definitely wasn't a year ago and so i would just. make a bar if i knew they were going to an area with bars, and sometimes they wouldn't end up doing shots and i'd just save it. for me, this over preparation helped me feel safe in my own world and i knew there was less chance of me getting surprised (it still happened, it always happens (flashbacks to the barbarian in session 2 deciding she wanted a pet so i had to improvise a full fantasy pet store rip), but by preparing i saved myself a lot of stress)

-use online resources: there are so many blogs, youtube channels, and other things to help you with dm'ing and for me finding info/instructions made me feel more secure! i really like matthew colville, he's got a full playlist called running the game (find it here), which is about learning to dm, it's got 100+ videos and it's amazing. he advocates for using adventures, which i like cause they're a little bit more accessible! you don't have to homebrew if that seems intimidating, just run an adventure, they're just as fun and cool to do!! matthew colville is a good intro, when i have a specific question, i also look at the DM Lair, who has a lot of really focused videos, but i haven't seen that many. in theme with this blog, i also like adventuring academy which is brennan + guest, specifically this one with murph cause they have a beautiful bit where they emphasise that if you have watched dimension 20 you can dm, anyone can do it and i 100% agree. you can do it!! i understand you're nervous but the biggest hurdle (for me, at least) was the first session. the second they laugh at something you said or are creeped out by the haunted mansion you created based on a backstreet boys music video (only normal decisions here), you realise 'oh. this is kind of fun actually'. i'm still nervouse before sessions and a lot of way more experienced dms are too but it's also so fun just try it!! i'd love to hear how it goes!

dm's please reblog with your best tips for overcoming anxiety!!!!

[demethinkstoomuch]

NONA SPOILERS: How do you recon, is there anything parallel with Paul and John both being apostle names? Intertextual reference-style, reflecting their roles /functions/something? Pardon me for banging on your door, I have no biblical knowledge at all (wrong religion), so I'm just wondering aloud in the presence of as many possibly interested and knowledgable tumblr personage as I find.

Oh, I don't mind at all! I love the idea of someone to talk to!

As for the apostle parallels/contrasts...I'll be honest, I'm not sure I can make anything out of it; somehow, my education on Christianity kind of didn't really dwell on some of the apostles, which is the flaw of most of it being my choice of topics. But, I was raised Catholic-ish and went to a Jesuit university (it had a good writing program; anyway, about a third of my religious studies requirements were about religious art in India), so let's see what I can do.

My quest here is also probably not helped by the sheer number of contradictory or confused attributions in regards to John specifically; Is the John of the Gospel of John the Apostle? Traditionally, yes, but scholarship these days says "Probably not." Are the Three Epistles of John from John the Apostle? Traditionally, yes, but again, probably not -- though folks do think the three letters were written at least be the same person. Not the same one as wrote the Gospel, but it's at least *A* person. What about the Book of Revelations -- which might be fun to look at to compare, as tales of an apocalypse and all? That's a different guy, who probably was named John, at least, but definitely not the same guy as the others. There's a further John, John the Presbyter, who appears in some fragments and has been traditionally identified with both and/or all of these Johns, as all of these Johns have been with each-other, but we just do not know. Paul isn't completely free of attribution muddles, but there's a bit more of a solid base to work from with him. We can say with solid confidence that he wrote some things we still have copies of, though.

So, it's much harder to say anything about John from an apostle take, because which guy(s) are we counting?

Of course, I think there might be something relevant to be said, if I step away from authorship and look at narrative. John the Apostle is often identified with and referred to as "The Beloved Disciple," the "Disciple Jesus Loved." Which does, to me, evoke the whole "For the world so loved John" bit. John is Traditionally the last apostle to have died, and the only one to have died of natural causes -- in some cases, he's specifically charged with being the one to observe and remember what happened. In a way, I can kind of make a very thin concept of John as a "failed" John the apostle, a Beloved Chosen One gone wrong, the one Charged With Remembering who holds on too tightly. Wouldn't call it a slam dunk of a referential concept, but it's an idea one can play around with, and at least adds just a little spice to the name -- not a lot, the "This is a very generic name" factor still feels the most relevant, but John can have a little multi-interpretation of his name, as a treat for us. If we're then doing a compare and contrast, we've got the notion of Paul as having come to his position through rebirth -- he is blinded by a vision, is healed, and changes his name from "Saul" to "Paul" -- and having come to it later, after Jesus' death: most of his work in the Early Church, at least that which we know of aside from the biography in the book of Acts, is recorded through letters he wrote himself, or were attributed to him (which is a fun little parallel for the heir of the characters most associated with letter-writing, too). Which, if I were making a list of Apostles, would mean I would leave him off of the list. I did not, however, make the list. I'd probably bet, without looking it up, that Paul made the list, or at least extensively influenced it, because his hands are pretty much all over the Early Christian Church. I spent a while trying to wrestle with furnishing this answer with a more thorough looking-over of Paul's writings, writings that are attributed to him, and the influence of both of these on the Church, since there's a good bit of disliking to do there; it mostly is not nearly as good as 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, sadly. But then, between the various constructions and counter-constructions, interpretations and re-interpretations, and then the confusion of attribution in some places, I decided I was in way over my head. Generally not a fan of the Apostle Paul, so in that vein, if we imagine John as a sort of Apostle John, Subverted, I'd hope for a similar subversiveness, but in the opposite direction, out of Our Paul. Which they're already doing, honestly: writing traditionally attributed (but disputed, scholastically) to Paul tends to be the most anti-woman in the New Testament, and his more firmly attributable bits are some favorites for homophobes looking for a bludgeon -- and I don't have to explain why an absolute blender-gender who thinks Mustache Rides Should Be Free subverts that pretty clearly, directly, and decisively by existing. I'm not the only one to point it out, and they're right and they should say it.

[doctenwho]

Gestures and Evasion

Hello! Welcome to a new DT fic! My deepest apologies that it’s been so long, and thank you so much for waiting so patiently! Life’s been a bit of a rollercoaster recently, and I’ve needed a bit to recuperate, but I’m back again!

This prompt didn’t have a specific character mentioned, but luckily, since it wasn’t anonymous, I was able to shoot pistachoz a DM and they’ve confirmed it’s a Tenth Doctor request! :D

Warning: None, I don’t think?

Word Count: 3,514

Summary: Check out the prompt above! :)

(Gif doesn’t belong to me, credit to the creator! :D)

The Doctor doesn’t really remember the first small act he’d committed to try and get his companion to notice him. To notice him on a... well, on a more personal level?

It’s a general memory, nothing pinpointed, but he knows it happened long ago.

It was something small—mundane. (Y/N) had more or less brushed the gesture off with a light laugh and a smile that made his hearts hammer away in his chest, but (Y/N) had really seen if for what it had been.

It wasn’t very often that the Doctor had these sort of feeling about anything, but there was just something special about (Y/N). Something he couldn’t put his finger on.  

He’d been trying for just about as long as the companion had been travelling with him to send little messages, or gestures in hopes that maybe (Y/N) would see what he was doing for what it was instead of brushing it off like she tended to do.

If he’s honest, he’s never really had this kind of problem before. He’s had many companions, and more often than not, those companions tend to want more from him than he’s willing to allow himself to give. Rose, and Martha—Jack, even—they were all looking for more from him, and being what he is, and what he does, it’s not that simple to reciprocate feelings.  

They’ll all age and eventually die, whereas he’ll just move on to his next bout of regeneration with a broken heart he’ll have to try his hardest to keep under wraps.  

The Doctor knows that maybe (Y/N) showing such little interest in him is almost a good thing. Less heartbreak down the road when (Y/N) decides not to accompany him any longer, or, worse, when old age takes (Y/N) away like every other human before her. It’s inevitable, and he really should have a stronger hold on human life compared to TimeLord life, but the loss always knocks him down for a while.

It should be a good thing, but he just can’t seem to bring himself around to believing that it’s a good thing. Not when every time (Y/N) brushes off a gesture he’s thought over, and put time and effort into, it fills his hearts with an unfamiliar pain he hasn’t felt since losing his family and Gallifrey alike.  

It had taken him a while to notice he was even trying to win (Y/N) in a sort of courtship way. And it had taken even longer to realize he’d been doing it for about as long as he’d known (Y/N). It hadn’t seemed like it at the time, but looking back now, he can see how all the little comments and gestures were more than just friendly.  

But she’d been brushing his attempts off since early in their travels. Shooting him a smile, but turning away when anything too even the slightest romantic turn. Avoiding his eyes when he stared fondly, or laughing it off when a compliment slipped past his lips.

He really didn’t understand it.  

He could see the Gallifreyan romantic gestures confusing (Y/N), but the few earth gestures he’d picked up barely stirred anymore of a reaction than the Gallifreyan ones. He didn’t know where he was going wrong—how it was all being perceived the way it was. The wrong way. He wasn’t getting the reactions he wanted and... well, it hurt.  

Both his pride, and his hearts.  

It had started small with flowers—or, a flower. They were on a foreign planet, but he knew giving small gifts like a flower was one of the human gestures. So, he’d searched around while his companion was busy exploring, and located the loveliest flower he could find. It was mixtures of blues and purples; native to the planet but incredibly rare considering they only bloomed twice a year, for no longer that three days at a time.  

The flower had a sweet smell; one similar to those of sweets from earth. For a while, before he’d remembered Earth didn’t have this specific species of flower, nor were they advanced enough in space travel to find one, he’d assumed they’d used the attractive scent of the flower as a marketing technique to sell their sweets.  

The sugary smell Earth sweets had would always come second to the scent of this specific flower.  

The exchange had been short, and less than pleasurable if the Doctor’s honest. He’d found (Y/N) sitting on the ground, just taking the calming atmosphere of the planet. His heart stuttered in his chest before he finally took those last few steps towards her, where he settled at her side and cleared his throat to gain her attention.  

He’d held the flower out, rambling out facts as (Y/N) took the flower into her hands. She gave it a sniff, and fiddled with the stem and petals for a second before smiling down at it. She stared down at it, before looking back at him with an appreciative smile. He’d thought he’d won her over, but instead, she settled the flower on the ground beside her.  

His hearts had cracked as his companion’s hand fell away from the flower, leaving it on the ground as she returned her attention to the world around her. He’d swallowed thickly before sitting himself beside her, not bothering to mention the fact his gesture had gone unnoticed.

It was the same ordeal when he’d ordered (Y/N) a space delicacy from one of his favorite planets, where his companion had taken the treat into her hands and tasted it without a second thought. Smiling down at the treat, before shooting him light smile as she licked her lips.

He didn’t know why he’d been expecting—hoping for—anything more than the usual ‘Thank you’ he always received when he did something out of the ordinary for his companion, but the mumbled words had filled his with a sense of sadness.  

It was silly.  

But he kept trying.

The gestures just kept coming. It was barely a forethought anymore. An unconscious effort to try and win over his companion—seeking this relationship (Y/N) quite obviously didn’t want. It was a sad downward spiral, but he really couldn’t imagine not trying to woo her. He’d been at it for so long, not trying sounded foreign.

He tried just about anything he could to get any sort of reaction. Any hint that his companion knew what he was trying to do. Any acknowledgment that she understood that he was trying. He’d prefer blatant rejection to this... whatever this evasive attitude (Y/N) was expressing.  

Dinner in the stars.

Unique gifts from distant planets.

Various treats and snacks from wherever they happened to be.

He even tried to learn more about human things on earth. How humans went about stuff like this, and how it all differed from his Gallifreyan roots. Human courting was quite the oddity.  

He didn’t talk to many humans who weren’t his companions, or people he’d saved in some way or another, but the man who ran one of the shops had taken some time to educate him, but the Doctor had come out of that conversation more confused than he’d gone in.  

But on the bright side, (Y/N) had enjoyed the bag of sweets he’d awkwardly bought to stand at the register and chat with the friendly shopkeeper.  

He was still at a loss. Nothing seemed to be working. Nothing wooed his companion. He didn’t understand—couldn't see how not one single thing he’d tried had gotten (Y/N)’s attention.

But he still had one more thing up his sleeve.  

“Where are we going?” (Y/N) asked cautiously from the seat in the console room. The Doctor was doing his usual laps around the TARDIS console to what should be six TimeLord’s jobs simultaneously. He’d gotten good at it over the years, but there was still, occasionally, some rough kickbacks when he couldn’t be everywhere at once.

“It’s a surprise,” the man shot his companion a grin, pulling a lever. At this point, (Y/N) should be used to the surprises. He never got the kinds of reactions he was looking for, but he was still hoping that... maybe sometime he would. That something he planned would be the special one that could win his companion over.

(Y/N) didn’t reply, but continued to watch the Doctor how around the TARDIS like a madman.  

They weren’t far from the next greatest surprise the man had planned. They’d been travelling a little under an hour, and (Y/N) had only joined him in the console room ten-ish minutes prior, but he’d still refused to tell her where they were heading.  

(Y/N) was still quiet when the Doctor stabilized his space and time machine, checking everything twice before finally tugging his companion up by the hand and leading her towards the doors.  

He threw the doors open, grinning widely as he gazed around. Just as promised.  

It was a phenomenon really. A collection of heart shaped carbon monoxide ice chunks. No one was quite sure how they’d been formed, or whether someone had carved the hearts and left them to float in this tiny orbital pull in the middle of nowhere.  

It was a sight few saw—the Doctor had only heard of this place from chatter on a nearby planet, but he had to admit it was just as beautiful as he’d imagined. The ice glistened as the light casted from the TARDIS hit it, making them twinkle just as brightly as the stars in the background.

It was about as romantic as you could get. ��

“Woah,” (Y/N) gaped at his side, and the Doctor turned to look, smile slowly lighting up his face as he watched his companion’s eyes travel from heart to heart. “What... what is this?”

“It’s carbon monoxide ice,” the Doctor informed softly, the smile on his face widening as his hearts thrummed in his chest. His companion had an astonished look on her face, eyes wide with childlike curiosity. “Like that of Mars in your solar system. No one’s really sure how they take shape but... well, they’re quite the sight.”

“It’s beautiful,” (Y/N) breathed out, almost like her breath was taken away by the sight.  

The Doctor had been told by many, had seen for himself as beauty takes away people’s breath. He’d been there too, once or twice with his current companion.  

He barely even caught his words as they left his mouth—his heart speaking before his brain had a chance to filter his words, “Like you.”

That was his moment of error, the Doctor noticed.

He frowned to himself as his companion slowly pulled themself away, shying away from his side and retreating back into the TARDIS with one last lingering glance at the ice. The Doctor’s hearts froze within his chest, as he watched uncertainly—unsure just how he’d managed to mess this one up as well.  

“It’s late,” (Y/N) muttered softly before leaving the Doctor alone in the TARDIS doorway, the man’s gaze locked on one lone heart with a barely noticeable crack down the center. It wouldn’t be long before the orbit around them pulled the frail pieces apart, severing the heart into two.  

The TimeLord forced a breath, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment as he resided completely with the cracked heart.

He didn’t understand.  

The clumps of frozen carbon monoxide made his hearts hurt the longer he stared, so he was quick to follow on his companion’s footsteps, spinning on his heels and shuffling back inside, making sure to shut the doors behind him.

He wanted to flee this place, this failed attempt, but he couldn’t bring himself around to flying the TARDIS at the moment. He didn’t have the energy too. Like expected, (Y/N) had disappeared into the TARDIS, so the Doctor plopped heavily down on the seat.  

Maybe it was time to accept the fact that his companion did not reciprocate his feelings. That he was barking up the wrong tree. He’d thought that they were... but maybe he was wrong.  

The Doctor stared up at the TARDIS ceiling, his space and time machine giving a little hum as if she could feel his worries and mood. His hand patted the back of his seat halfheartedly as a promise that he was okay.  

It had never been this hard with any other companion. There was just something so special about (Y/N). Something he wanted to get closer too, even though he knew he’d end up hurt in the end. Something he wasn’t sure he’d ever get now.  

Maybe it was time to settle this once and for all. His gestures were overlooked, or, maybe even ignored. As much as it hurt to admit, (Y/N) didn’t seem very enthused with anything he’d done. Maybe it was the human not understanding what he was trying to do—but humans tended to like words.

--

The Doctor from (Y/N) in her room, perched on the edge of her bed. (Y/N)’s attention raised when the Doctor announced his arrival with a sturdy knock on the slivered-open door. The knock pushed the door in enough for the Doctor to poke his head in.  

“Do you, uh, have a moment?” He asked cautiously, almost ready for the rejection he’d been living with for the better part of travelling with (Y/N). He’d grown used to it, but it still tugged at his heart strings. She’d never deny him conversation, but he could still see and feel her pulling away from him.  

“Of course,” (Y/N) sat up a little more, giving the Doctor her full attention. “What’s the matter?”

He hadn’t thought this far ahead, the Doctor realizes as he shifts from foot to foot in (Y/N)’s doorway, mind vacant of any thoughts. (Y/N) tilted her head at the Doctor’s odd silence, studying him from her spot, “Doctor...? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” the man cleared his throat. Then did so a second time before continuing, “I wanted to, uhm, know what you thought about the, uh,” he gestured broadly behind him, hoping his companion could piece his question together.

“The ice hearts?”

It was a good thing his companion was so clever.

“Yes, the hearts.” The Doctor nods, fingers tapping awkwardly against his side. “Did you... did you like them?”

“They were beautiful,” (Y/N) repeated once again, fidgeting with her own fingers, “it was a bit unexpected, but... yeah, I did. Thanks for showing me them.”

The man gave a nod, but didn’t voice anything. If he thought his voice would’ve come out naturally instead of the anxious waver he was sure would be there, he definitely would’ve replied with a soft ‘My pleasure,’ because it really was his pleasure to introduce (Y/N) to the beauty of the galaxy.  

There was an unsettling moment of silence where neither really knew what to say.  

It was the Doctor who broke it, staring at his shoes as he finally allowed the words he’d been stewing over out, “do you... not like me, (Y/N)?”

“What?” the surprise was prominent. The word rang out for a second before the Doctor lifted his gaze to settled on (Y/N)’s shocked, tense frame. Her muscles were stiff, body sitting up straighter and more alert than she had been when he’d first asked to talk. “I like you plenty,” (Y/N) assured quickly, “what gave you the idea I didn’t?”

There was a list, really. He could count things off on his fingers, but he wasn't here to be petty. The man bit his lip, leaning against the doorframe to support his weight. He honestly just wanted to know why (Y/N) was so evasive every time he so much as tried to woo her.  

“You... well, uh, you never seem to care,” he made sure to word it carefully, “I... I’m not sure if you even notice, or ignore it, or what. I just, I need you to be honest with me. Why haven’t you... reciprocated any feelings?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Doctor,” (Y/N)’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and one ankle crossed over the other as she leaned forwards in interest.

“Since I met you,” the Doctor swallowed, “I’ve been... I don’t know how to say it but, trying to court you, I suppose? That’s not really something humans do, but it is something TimeLords do. It’s just that... every attempt I’ve made... every try I’ve made to do something cute, or romantic, you brush it off. You’re evasive, and... I’d just like to know if that’s because you don’t reciprocate my feelings. If you don’t feel the same, we can just put this all behind us.”

“It’s not like that,” (Y/N)’s voice was quiet, a near whisper, “please don’t think it’s because I don’t like you. I do, Doctor. I just... I wasn’t sure.”

“Weren’t sure?” The man furrowed his eyebrows, “sure about what?”

“I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I noticed everything, the flower you gave me, the sweets. All the dinners, and the... the dates. Today with the ice hearts even. I didn’t know how to admit I liked you when there was a chance you didn’t like me back the same way. I don’t know what I’d do if I ruined this.”

“But the gestures and dates?” the Doctor frowned, finally stepping into (Y/N)’s room and sitting on the edge of her bed beside her. He’d thought he was being obvious.

“Very obvious,” his companion let out a little laugh, “and I should’ve known, but I was scared. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. This adventure is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I didn’t want to compromise that by admitting my feelings.”

He could understand that, a bit. “So... you do like me too?”

“Of course,” (Y/N)’s smile was soft, “a lot, Doctor. I just... didn’t know how to reciprocate it without there being a possibility that everything could fall through, and we’d ruin our relationship in the process. I know you were offering it, but I was nervous. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” the Doctor chastised quietly. He paused for a second before speaking again, “I’m having a hard time believing this is real,” he admitted with a tilt of his head, “you really acknowledged it all? I... never noticed.”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) smiled softly, “and I have proof it wasn’t all in vain, Doctor.” (Y/N) stood up from her spot on the bed, and moved towards her book shelf. It housed a few books, and some trinkets she’d found on their travels and liked. She continued speaking as she searched through the books, “I really enjoyed everything you put together for me since I met you. I wasn’t sure you were really doing it all to be romantic at first but... the hearts today really summed that up for me.”

The man watched as she tugged on one of the book’s spines, pulling it from the shelve and holding it in her hands for a second before she waving to retake her seat. She started flipping through the pages, so the Doctor leaned over her shoulder to watch.  

“Here,” she stopped on a page towards the middle of the book. The Doctor refrained from gaping as his companion carefully pulled that singular flower he’d given her all that time ago from the book. The room was instantly filled with that sweet, alluring scent and his hand shook as he took the pressed flower into his fingers by the delicate stem.

“I thought you left this,” he admitted softly, studying the vibrant colours that had stayed even after being pressed into the book. He hadn’t noticed her bringing the flower back. Had really thought she’d left it on that planet and ignored the gesture entirely.  

“I couldn’t,” his companion sighed, “it was selfish, even if I didn’t want to ruin what we had, I wanted to keep it to remember the moment. To remember you, even if we did at some point part ways.”

“You’re brilliant,” the Doctor breathed out, finally passing the flower back like it was as precious as a crown jewel or something. “So incredibly brilliant, (Y/N).”

(Y/N)’s cheeks flushed and she ducked her head away from his gaze, but it was different than the usual brushing away of his gestures. Something was different now.  

They hadn’t cleared it all up, that was for sure. He still had questions, and she still had doubts. They didn’t quite understand each other yet, but it hadn’t all been in vain like he’d thought. She’d seen it all. Acknowledged it, even if not to him. His hearts swelled as he smiled lightly.

There was still a lot they needed to discuss, but for right now, the Doctor just wanted to spend a bit of time with his companion—without all the hassle of their rightful doubts and insecurities.

“Do you think we could... spend a little while longer looking out at the frozen carbon monoxide outside before we leave? It really is quite pretty, and... maybe we can talk about this more later?”

“I’d... love that, Doctor.”

“Good. Uh, great,” he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. His companion giggled at him, but he didn’t mind in the slightest, “allons-y, (Y/N).”

<><><><>

Once again, sorry this took so long! I’m hoping to keep this momentum going and keep getting out the requests in waiting! I hope you all liked this fic, it was a bunch of fun to write! I thoroughly enjoyed creating the frozen carbon monoxide hearts, so I hope you all liked that as well!

As always, feel free to prompt me again if this wasn’t what you were looking for (though it might take a while to get around to it if you do!) and thanks once more for requesting. Hoping everyone had a good morning/day/night!

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Fall Into You | Laszlo Kreizler x Reader

Alright my friends. Here is my latest piece of insanity.

It is completely raw and unedited. So, if there are a ton of mistakes, I apologize in advance.

What a whirlwind thing this was. I literally only planned to write the last little bit at the end, that was the entire premise and then 7000 more words came along with it.

-----

This is a partial crossover fic.

TFATWS | The Alienist | Dr. Strange | Loki | universe all mushed together in bits and pieces.

But mostly The Alienist.

Hopefully the characterizations feel okay. Dr. Kreizler and John Moore can be a bit tricky to write and I've never written them before. So, please bear with me on this.

Buckle up. It's going to be a doozy. Kinda.

-----

Word Count: 6,900 - ish

What happens when you wind up 124 years into the past and meet a relative of Baron Helmut Zemo's?

A lot.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was early evening and you were perched on one of Dr. Kreizler's fine couches, in front of the fireplace, reading a book.

You were waiting for Stevie to drop by and drag you to some musical street performance not terribly far from Dr. Kreizler's residence. Normally, you would have stayed hidden indoors, but you took a liking to the kid when you first met him, and decided you couldn't let him down.

Hopefully Stevie wouldn't drag you out too long, otherwise Dr. Kreizler would start to worry. Although, he would never outright admit to it, but it was the subtle things he did that indicated his concern. Or perhaps it was annoyance. That wouldn't surprise you either. You were loud and very talkative. He'd probably grateful to have to leave his house; so he can finally get some peace and quiet.

Dr. Kreizler always kept to himself and rarely made a display of his feelings to anyone, but you were a good friend of his in the short time you had come to know him. So, you got little peeks into what lay hidden away.

He was gracious enough to allow you stay in his home until you could figure out a way to get back to your own time. One minute you were talking to Wong inside Dr. Strange's sanctum in New York, and the next a portal opened up underneath you and you were falling.

After travelling through an empty void that seemed to go on forever, you finally exited through the other side, which landed you in front of a police precinct. You had looked around after picking yourself up and realized you were in quite the pickle. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was not your New York.

People were starting to stare at as you took in your surroundings. You initially thought it was because you had randomly fallen out of the sky, but realization had dawned on you; it was because of your clothing.

Ah, yes. You suppose compared to what all the other women were wearing, you were a sight to behold. Jeans, a forest green blouse, and short brown leather jacket, would draw some attention, when all the other women were dressed so conservatively in dresses. You laughed nervously backing away from the small crowd on the sidewalk. You calmly but quickly darted over to a newsie holding up a paper for sale.

You paid the kid a dollar and snatched the paper out of his hand. Not paying attention in the least to his shouts of joy on making so much off of one measly paper, but you were too focused on finding out what time period you were in.

You caught the date at the top of the newspaper: April 1st, 1897.

April Fool's Day.

Typical, something like this would happen to you. Joke's on them, as someone is going to have a hell of time trying to figure out where you went. You're quite sure Wong was trying to sort through what happened and had already calling Strange.

Well, you hope he had.

You put down the paper and tried to think of what to do, but a small crowd of people were still stopped and whispering to each other, pointing in your general direction.

One man was gesturing in your direction and started shouting, but not at you.

"Hey Kreizler, this one looks like a crazy. Should probably haul her off to Bellevue!"

You raised your eyebrow at the man, but didn't say anything, instead choosing to turn and see who he was yelling at.

A very well dressed man wearing a bowler hat was walking down the steps of the police precinct in a rushed sort of manner. He had a cane with him, and it appeared his right arm was tucked against his body as if protecting it. A few steps behind him there was another man darting to catch up with him, also well dressed and carrying what seemed to be a sketchbook.

The guy on the street had yelled at the gentleman in the bowler hat again, which you had assumed at this point was Dr. Kreizler. As the two men reached the bottom of the steps and were about to step into their carriage, the incessant yelling had managed to grab Kreizler's attention. At least it seemed so, because the man with the cane had paused and turned his attention towards the direction of the yelling.

You could see from his body language he wasn't all that interested, but when his eye-line landed on you, he backed away from getting inside.

The other gentleman that was accompanying him, the one with the sketchbook, said something to him, but Dr. Kreizler just waved him off as he started to walk over to you.

Great.

You look over to the rude gentleman that had now drawn even more attention to you and gave him an unappreciative stare.

You steeled yourself, ready for whatever this stranger was going to say to you, but your guard had dropped slightly upon getting a better look at his face.

No way.

This was not possible.

The man that had come over to you was the spitting image of one genius, criminal mastermind and general pain in your ass, you knew all too well. One who's currently locked up in The Raft.

If it wasn't for the beard, you'd swear you were looking at Baron Helmut Zemo.

As Dr. Kreizler stopped a few feet from you, he tilted his head to the side and eyed you warily, but not unkindly.

That head tilt, a family trait for sure. Zemo had to be some distant relative of this man in some way, there's no chance they aren't with how closely the two resemble each other. She'd have to make a trip to The Raft and ask him about it sometime, if she ever got back home.

"My dear, you seem out of sorts. Are you alright?" the man inquired, gazing at the small gathering of people and then back to you.

"I kinda stick out like a sore thumb, yeah?" You laughed as you answer his question, peering down at your outfit.

"Quite," he replied.

You saw while he may be cautious around you, you've seem to grab his interest with the scrutiny and intensity of his gaze.

"If I may introduce myself, my name is Doctor Laszlo Kreizler," the gentleman stated.

Ah, so this was indeed the man who was being called out from the street. You noticed he didn't extend his hand in greeting, but then again perhaps it wasn't a pertinent gesture for the time period either. So, you didn't take offense to it.

Your eyeline moved behind Dr. Kreizler and could see his friend at the carriage watching with interest, but also growing impatience.

You gave a kind smile as you introduced yourself and added, "Thank you for humoring the nosy man over there, but I'm not in need of a doctor. I'm terribly sorry for interrupting your day."

"Not in the least. And I may be a doctor, but I am an alienist more specifically," Kreizler explained.

Your eyebrows shot into your forehead and then contemplated his title. An alienist? Where had you heard that before? If you remembered correctly, an alienist was someone who assessed individuals for competence?

Oh.

The shouty man had mentioned Bellevue. Okay, now you understood.

"An alienist! That term is...." you paused trying to think of a better way to phrase you response. "The term is outdated where I'm from. Instead we simply acknowledge your specific doctorate profession as psychologists, since the very definition of what you do is to study the mind and behavior of individuals," you answered, satisfied with your explanation.

"Outdated. How intriguing. Perhaps we could continue this conversation away from prying eyes and gossipy busy-bodies?" Kreizler asked.

You wouldn't be able to read it on his face, but you can tell you've piqued his interest even more so now with his body language. And his eyes had this sparkle in them as you spoke of his profession so specifically.

Though you felt you could trust this man, you couldn't take the chance that he might, in fact, lure you into his carriage and ship you off to the nearest mental institution, such as Bellevue Hospital.

You'd be lying if you weren't equally intrigued by this enigma of a man standing before you. The resemblance to Baron Zemo was uncanny, and that alone made you want to find out more about him; however, Zemo was not to be trusted as far as you could throw him. Though he did have his moments. You'd give him some credit. Doesn't mean distrustful behavior runs in the family, but it also could. It was a difficult decision.

Your eyes narrowed assessing Dr. Kreizler as you came to decision.

"Shouldn't you give me a mental health assessment test before asking a complete stranger to travel off to who knows where with you? Why shouldn't I be suspicious you aren't going to drop me off at the nearest institute? No offense," you replied warily.

"Thank you!" the man with the sketchbook at the carriage shouted at both you and Dr. Kreizler, clearly in agreement with your answer.

You snickered at his sarcastic reply, but attempted to cover your ever growing smile by coughing.

The corner of Dr. Kreizler's mouth ticked up in a smile as well.

"No my dear, if anything you've just proven you're at least slightly more sane than my counterpart, Mr. John Moore," Dr. Kreizler shook his head and jutted his thumb behind him.

"Heard that Laszlo!" Moore responded with indignation.

"That was the point John," Dr. Kreizler answered back with dry wit.

Yeah, she liked him already.

"Shall we?" Kreizler turned slightly to gesture to his carriage.

You sighed internally. Why the hell not? You had nothing better to do and no idea what your next move should be trying to get home. Dr. Kreizler would no doubt be curious about your attire and that alone with most likely bring up a slew of never ending questions. You'd have to be careful how to explain your situation and make sure what you revealed was limited, but truthful. You wanted to tell him the truth about where you were from, but you needed to word it in a way that doesn't make you out to be a crazy person, but present the information with facts and evidence that Dr. Kreizler could not refute. Luckily you had some tech with you that could prove your point rather efficiently should the need arise you convince him of what time period you come from in the future. 124 years it a length period of time. It would be difficult for anyone to accept your explanation, but Dr. Kreizler seemed to be different. Let's hope you aren't wrong about him.

"I accept your offer Dr. Kreizler, thank you," you spoke kindly.

You were formally introduced to Mr. Moore and to Stevie before getting in the carriage. Mr. Moore seemed uneasy, but went along with Dr. Kreizler's acceptance of you. He was a trusting friend of his, you could tell right away. And something told you, Dr. Kreizler was a tough nut to crack and didn't seem to be the type of person who might have very many. Only a close few.

"What made you decide to take Dr. Kreizler up on his offer so quickly," Moore asked standing outside the carriage as Stevie was getting the horses ready.

Dr. Kreizler had held the door open for you and waited patiently.

You looked at Dr. Kreizler before turning back to Mr. Moore, "You mean besides his sparkling personality?" you winked and got in the carriage.

John leaned into Kreizler before adjusting his hold on his sketchbook and climbing into the carriage himself.

"Oh, well I like her already Laszlo," he grinned incessantly and gave Kreizler a clap on the back.

You saw Dr. Kreizler bend his head down in amused exasperation as a small huff of laughter sounded with the movement. He sighed somewhat dramatically before getting in the carriage and closing the door.

"You know, I've never actually ridden in one of these before," you say slightly awed.

Both Moore and Kreizler gave you confusing looks before Dr. Kreizler used his cane to tap on the rear enclosure signaling Stevie to head home.

Home. Well, this should be interesting indeed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You closed your book with a snap and slumped into the couch you were perched on. It had been six months, since that day. Six months, you've been trapped in this pocket of 1897.

You had reflected back on how well John and Dr. Kreizler had taken the explanation you were from the future. As you told your story, your only requirement was that they wait until the very end before asking any questions. That gave you the chance to be very methodical about how you explained the future and how it was you ended up in 1897, which to be fair, you don't know exactly how that portal opened still, but magic was involved to say the very least.

It was oddly reminiscent of when Loki used the space stone, which gave her pause. All the infinity stones had been destroyed, and yet you knew that there was an errant 2012 Loki running around the universe with one. It is plausible, he could factor into this, but how or why you, you have no idea.

After you had explained your fanatical circumstance, to help prove you weren't absolutely off your rocker and have Dr. Kreizler change his mind about you, you showed them your phone.

Yes, there may not be any service available, but you could still access all your photos and videos and holographic imagery, etc. That was what allowed John and Dr. Kreizler to accept your story; paired with your unique clothes; they had a surprisingly open mind. John had gaped like a fish for a good 10 minutes before Dr. Kreizler told him to get over it already. John was somewhat outraged that he wasn't more shocked by your existence. But like all things, Dr. Kreizler took everything in stride, which was quite a relief to you. He was incredibly understanding and offered a room in his home to you until you were able to get back to your own time. You made a promise to Dr. Kreizler that you would never lie to him, about anything. It was the least you could do since he opened up his home and essentially part of his life to you.

You understood why he was an expert in his field. His patience and intellect allowed him to be open-minded and grasp concepts others word merely scoff at. However, there was another side to that coin; he was also closed off, and could at times, be calculating and manipulative. Though, none of these traits were used in any nefarious manners, they were there all the same.

He reminded you of Zemo to be sure in this regard. Some personality traits apparently do get passed down through the generations. In some ways, after meeting Dr. Kreizler, you felt you knew Helmut Zemo a bit better. And somehow, you missed him. Not that you were ever particularly close to him, but the time you spent with him in Latvia with Sam and Bucky forever altered your opinion of him.

So while you've been living at Dr. Kreizler's residence, in your spare time, you had been working different avenues of how to achieve ways to get home. You couldn't just solely rely on your friends to get you out of this mess. So, while Dr. Kreizler was at work, you enlisted the help of Stevie to run down leads of potential scientist and gathering of general information of the time period to help you put together some sort of road map. None had turned out to be very promising.

You had, over time, gotten more acclimated to living in 1897, though you mostly refused to wear the clothing of the time period. John Moore would always comment about how you would draw attention in the public eye, should you dare to go out. But you refused to give in most of the time, saying that 1897 would just have to catch up to your fashion sense, and you weren't about to apologize for it. If you were going to be stuck here, you were going to be stuck here, comfortably. You fondly remember Dr. Kreizler's reaction. He seemed pleased, possibly proud of you in that moment. Probably because you had refused to conform to the times, and set your own rules to live by. Not giving in to anyone.

The question lingered, how exactly did you get away with living in this time without having to dress in the clothing of the period? Well, a friend of yours, Scott Lang, had gifted you a device that allowed you to chose one object to shrink and return to it's normal size. So, of course, since you traveled so often with the Sam, Bucky and the other Avengers, you chose your wardrobe. You were just thankful you had it on you already when you got dumped into that portal. So, essentially you had all your clothes with you, making things a bit easier.

Life was not fast paced here, which made things a bit difficult for you. You were used to always being on the go, another crisis to fight through, another area of the world that needed help. But here, here everything was, for the most part, quiet.

It drove you nuts sometimes. Made you antsy. You managed to weasel your way into helping John, Sara and Dr. Kreizler on one of their serial killer cases recently to pass the time. Dr. Kreizler was unhappy at first. You were able to prove your usefulness though with advanced techniques and theories on how to potentially catch the killer in question. Be that as it may, Dr. Kreizler still seemed grumpy, if that were the correct word to use, about you working on the case. You confronted him about it one evening, but he glossed over the whole thing. He was holding back, but what that was, you weren't sure. Maybe he still didn't fully trust you yet. It was a fair assumption, but he was always so hard to read. Though you've managed to get a few good laughs out of him from time to time. Those were the days that really made you smile. Seeing him happy, as most of the time he was always so guarded. It made you feel like you and Dr. Kreizler shared this little secret when no one else was around.

Dr. Kreizler let himself relax ever so slightly around you, but it was far and fleeting. On rare occasions. You savored all those memories and tucked them away. Everyone was so refined and conservative in their mannerisms. You missed just wanting to hug someone. You craved some sort of physical affection, and it was hard, realizing just how different the times were from the future. They weren't terrible by any means, but the social norms of the times had been trying on you, to say the very least. Dr. Kreizler, ever astute, had picked up on this.

He had been gracious enough to offer himself if you ever needed to hug someone. This had been roughly 4 months into your stay at Dr. Kreizler's. You both had gotten more comfortable around the other, and even had a routine of sorts. You had thanked him for his offer, and told him you would not abuse the privilege he had bestowed on you.

Something told her there was more to it, but you hadn't dwelled on it, you were simply appreciative of his friendship.

However more recently, it was more than just friendship you felt. You kept squashing your feelings down, telling yourself this was the worst possible time to develop feelings for someone. Especially someone like Dr. Kreizler. There would never be a happy ending. At some point, you would return home, and that would be that. But there was that nagging sensation in the back of your mind, reminding you, you might not ever get back home. You tried to reason to yourself that you were possibly transferring some of your fondness of Zemo to Dr. Kreizler because of how he reminds you of him. But then you were just lying to yourself. Dr. Kreizler was a person all on his own and one of a kind. You knew better, you were just fighting yourself tooth and nail to live in denial a bit longer.

Footsteps from the kitchen were headed in your direction knocking you out of your musings.

You twisted on the couch to see Dr. Kreizler had returned home from his institute.

"Dr. Kreizler! Good evening," you voiced into the low lit parlor room.

"Good evening to you as well, I trust your day was fruitful?" Dr. Kreizler inquired, coming to rest on the opposite end of the couch.

"It was, thank you. I was somewhat restless earlier, so I took it upon myself to work on the cryptogram the killer left his last victim, with the hopes of figuring out his next location before he strikes," you sheepishly stated.

Dr. Kreizler ruefully smiled at you and shook his head. At one time, he might have gotten upset, but he had been taking your antics more in stride, and you managed to be helpful providing much needed information. So, he'd act unhappy, but silently was thrilled.

"And did you uncover anything useful?" Kreizler queried, he got up from his seat and walked over to the chalk board.

"Not completely, I believe I've broken the code word and the book that the killer has been using to write his cryptograms, but I have yet to comb through all the evidence to gather the page numbers, line and word number to crack the full message. I planned on working on it when I got back with Stevie later this evening," you happily expressed while fidgeting with the watch on your wrist.

"Impressive work. And what book has our killer been using?" Kreizler asked, eyes still going over the work on the board.

"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. You'd think we could have figured that one out sooner given our killer's eclectic methods of murdering people," you answered sarcastically.

Dr. Kreizler bent his knees in utter annoyance, "Of course it is. Of course. How ridiculous to have missed such an obvious choice."

You smiled knowingly. He was irritated he hadn't figured it out sooner.

A companionable silence continued for a few minutes after his outburst.

Dr. Kreizler was still staring at the board with mild interest when he spoke next, "May I ask you a personal question?"

You had just reached over to place the book on the coffee table next to you when he asked his question and you froze mid motion.

Dr. Kreizler generally didn't push too much into your personal life, so this was somewhat out of left field for him. Never-the-less, you recovered after a beat and placed the book on the table.

"Of-of course Dr. Kreizler. I told you I would always be truthful with you regarding anything. Please, go ahead," you answered, motioning for him to continue.

"Why do you always regard me as Dr. Kreizler and not by my first name?" he questioned softly, almost hesitantly.

This was not the question you thought he would ask. There were a million questions he could have chose, but it was this one he went with.

This really was personal.

You glanced down at your hands sitting in your lap as you pondered how to answer his questions. You could lie about it, and he'd be none the wiser, but it's not who you are. And you promised.

Dr. Kreizler went on to further express his inquiry with a bit more confidence, "You call John Moore by his first name and the same with Ms. Howard, including our other friends we work with, but not me. Why?"

You opened your mouth to answer him when the front door slammed open and Stevie came barging in.

"You ready?" he exclaimed loudly. Stevie was clearly excited at the prospect of showing off his musical talent. "Oh, excuse me Dr. Kreizler, I didn't realize you'd gotten home yet. Thought you were working late," Stevie took off his hat and looked sheepish as he apologized for the disruption in his home.

You sighed. This was your saving grace. You could probably make an excuse and make a run for it with Stevie. You mulled over what to do, battling with the decision.

"Hey Stevie. Nice to see you too! Go on outside, I'll be right there. I just need to put my coat on," you laugh at his enthusiasm.

He nodded at you and dashed back down the hallway and out the door. You could hear one last shout as he exited, "Okay, but don't be too long, we're going to be late!"

Dr. Kreizler gave a look of displeasure at Stevie's unrefined outburst, but didn't say anything as he knows his antics all too well from over the years.

You stood up grabbing Dr. Kreizler's attention.

"Walk me to the door?" you ask, jutting your head in the direction of where your coat hangs.

"Do you plan on providing me with an answer?" he kindly jabbed as he nodded his agreement to follow you out.

You outwardly sighed, trying to figure out how to best answer his question. As you both walked to the front door, you start to answer him.

"Okay, so I address you as Dr. Kreizler 33% of the time, because you deserve the respect that comes with that title. You went to school for many years, and you earned it. So, it's only fair to address you as such," you tell him confidently.

A completely reasonable and partial explanation, you thought.

You both reached the front door, and you grabbed your jacket. Dr. Kreizler, the gentleman that he is, assisted you in putting your coat on. You gave yourself a once over in the mirror, making sure you looked okay before heading out.

You caught Dr. Kreizler staring at you in the mirror as you adjusted a stray hair that had fallen onto your face.

"You look lovely," he quietly voiced.

You turned to face him as he had opened the door for you and stepped outside.

"Thank you," you said, a bit bashful by his sudden compliment.

His expression had gotten softer and his eyes were glowing in the evening lit night.

Your resolve was crumbling even more so now.

"And the other 67%?" Kreizler softly spoke, head cocked to the side.

"Hey - Miss! We need to be going!" Stevie cried.

You turned to Stevie and hollered, "One mo, Stevie! Don't lose your head!"

"I'm sorry I have to go otherwise Stevie is going to have a coronary," you apologized to Dr. Kreizler.

You walked down a few steps, but stopped. You couldn't not answer him.

You go up a step but not completely back to where you where standing in front of Dr. Kreizler. You inhaled a deep breath and exhaled before continuing, looking up to see Dr. Kreizler eyeing you with slight confusion and anticipation with your hesitance to answer his question in full.

"And the other 67% of the time, I call you Dr. Kreizler because..because," you drifted off closing your eyes. You open them again with quiet resolve shining through, finding your confidence. You take another step up to now stand just a foot away from where Dr. Kreizler was.

"Because, I love you Laszlo. And I use your professional title as a barrier, to - to remind myself I have boundaries. It's just easier to separate you this way or well, to keep myself living in denial," you quietly and defeatedly said, laying it all out for him.

You wanted to open your mouth to say something else to him, to let him know it was okay he didn't feel the same way, but you could never quite form the words that needed to come out.

The shock was written clearly on his face. You had completely gob-smacked this man. His eyes had widened considerably and his jaw had gone slack from your answer.

But he never said anything back. You weren't expecting him to.

So instead, you did what you did best. Ran.

"You've got your answer. I-I really have to go now, I'll see you later," you stuttered out, suddenly drained from your revelation.

You took one last glance at Dr. Kreizler before making a mad dash for it with Stevie.

You were gone before Dr. Kreizler recovered from what just happened. And you never got to see the expression on his face after.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[flying-elliska]

Speculations and wishes for s2 of Our Flag Means Death :

- It absolutely needs to happen I think we can all agree

- I kind of want to see Stede make all sorts of wacky ridiculous and adorable efforts to get Ed back but I think they are going to be separated for a while first. I think Stede is going to rally w his crew, get them off the island and things might get awkward bc Stede wants to go after his bf but the bf is the one that left the crew stranded to die and alledgedly killed Lucius. I think Olu's motivation to get back to Jim is going to play a role in this, and I think he should have a bigger role in general so I want to know more abt him. I also think Stede might have to grapple with new guilt regarding the whole situation.

- I think Ed's gonna be on an evil rampage for a bit after which he might hear about Stede's fake death and think it's real, get even more heartbroken, maybe reconsider the whole evil thing, I'm not sure how this whole thing maps with the historical events now - is this the part where he gets into trouble with the Navy and gets killed ? Idk lol. Would be cool to see Blackbeard's own boat and the rest of his crew in any case.

- I don't think Lucius died either he's hidden on one of the secret passages on the Revenge OR he fell into the water but was picked up/washed out on a beach where he met other cool pirate characters, like idk Anne Bonny and Mary Read ? Maybe they're looking for where Calico Jack went idk and anyway Lucius is going to bring them back into the story

- I also want to learn more about the rest of the crew, how they became pirates, etc. On that note, why and when did Stede decide to become a pirate exactly? What about Ed himself ? I think we could have some cool flashbacks about his early pirate life. And what happened with Jim's revenge, did they actually kill all the guys, is something bigger going to come of it ?

- I also think they'd probably introduce some new bad guys in the Navy or like idk that governor that went after Blackbeard

- Apparently IRL Israel Hands got injured and missed out on Blackbeard's last battle, after which he testified against corrupt officials Blackbeard had worked with (are we going to see that in the show too ? Is he going to create some big evil entreprise ?) and ends life as a beggar in London and I am fascinated about how the show is going to adapt that. As it stands I think show Izzy being separated from his beloved captain, thinking he died and not being able to be there and dying alone would be the worst possible option so like. Potentially amazing. Thinking Blackbeard needs to tell him to fuck off at some point to cast away his evil side and choose Stede/goodness (ish) again. That might even be the end of s2.

- I think they'll get back together by the end of s2 but be separated again, this time by forces outside of their own control linked to the trouble they got in while separated, and s3 (since they said they want to tell the story in 3 seasons) would be their final attempt to get back together and elope, staging their deaths at some point

- so many cool possibilities !!!!!!!!! Make it happen !!!!!!!!!

What are you guys' theories ????

[binniesthighs]

call me babydoll | reader x chan

soooo shhhh this actually a part one shhhh but i’m just trying out writing out different things and getting out some of my ideas outta my head that i’m really excited about, this one being one of them!! for now...just pretend that this is just a regular ol’ drabble hehehehe. this part is the set-up chapter (shhh i mean drabble) 

One

Pairing: self insert, female reader x bang chan 

Genre: fluff, smut, and angst 

Tags: (overall) bodyguard au, moderndayprince!chan, bodyguard!reader, secret agent au, royal au, action and peril, plot driven, running out of time, slow-ish burn, growing feelings, softswitch!chan, hardswitch!reader, some skz side characters, jeongin third wheel and comedic relief LOL, travelling, chan being expensive and having a lil bit of a superiority complex, flirtyyyy chan, bits of mystery, explicit language, mentions of food and alcohol, idk think like 007 vibes hehe 

CWs: guns and gun violence, a shooting in a ballroom, mentions of blood 

Word count: 4.6k 

Parts

ONE | TWO 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here early.” 

“Well, expect the unexpected.” 

“Don’t turn the motto back at me. I’m sick of hearing it so many damn times.” 

“What? You and I both know that it’s true. You’re here early too, so, technically you don’t get to say anything.” 

Jeongin straightened his bow tie, then patted down the sides of his perfectly ironed tux with not a crinkle to be found. Knowing him, it was a miracle that he hadn’t messed it up in some form yet. He promptly took out his pocket square to clean off his glasses. 

“You’re looking nice. Seems like they don’t mind spending money now on you these days.” He blew off the flecks of dust on his lenses. 

“They know that they get their return on their investment. And thank you.” 

You smoothed down the sides of your dusty pink dress that nearly went all the way down to your ankles. Had you any other choice, it would’ve been something different, but, dresses were really good at hiding your thigh holster compared to the slacks you usually favored. You didn’t mind the times that you would have to put on a pretty dress, it somewhat reminded you that there was normal life outside of your job. Not to mention, they had started sending you jewelry as well. You always had liked the look of a diamond necklace. 

“You do your research for tonight?” 

Jeongin nodded, then took from his pocket his phone to read over the details. 

“I’ve done a background check on everyone attending, we shouldn’t have any issues. It’s already a low risk event anyway. Charity is never something to get too worked up over, but, you never know with the detail that some of these people come with...who they might be tied to...” 

“--The only people we can trust is ourselves.” You nodded with arms crossed. 

“Expect the unexpected, I know.” He slid his phone back into his inside suit pocket to adjust his cufflinks. 

“--Nervous?” You took note of his fidgeting actions. 

“Nervous? No. I’ve been through this before. You know that.” 

You flicked your partner right on his forehead strung with his white hair. You had really wished that he had picked a less conspicuous color, but he had strings to pull that you didn’t. 

Jeongin cleared his throat, “You do your once over?” 

“Do you even need to ask? I did it hours ago and when we arrived. You know that I’ve done this before too.” 

“I know. I know.” 

Jeongin looked out at the vast circular atrium that made up the center of the hotel. Several stories down under the glass rooftop, you could hear the faint sprinkling of the intricate fountain which smelled of copper. A bit further down, you could see the tips of the tree branches from the indoor landscaping. Across the way, a door slammed with residents tucking in their ties. The two men you had recognized from the roster: a simple thing which made you feel at ease. Your young partner must’ve started to have an effect on you. A sense of unease seemed to quell in your neck. You always listened to your hunches. 

“W-what do you think he thinks of us?” Jeongin broke the silence. 

“Well,” From inside the room you had waited outside, you could hear his distant murmuring, so you lowered your tone. “I think that he has yet to trust us. It’s only been a few weeks. He doesn’t seem like the kind to give himself up easy. That, and I’m sure his resentment of his father must have some influence.” 

“You think he hates us?” 

“I think he hates his father for hiring us. I mean, wouldn’t you? His old security detail, he had them for years.” 

“I guess so. But, we’re not like his old detail.” 

“No. We’re not. I don’t think he gets that yet. I think he sees us as one more way his father has a hold on him.” 

“It’s not like he can do much else about it when his dad’s a kin--” 

“--No, no, thank you, really, it’s lovely. Some of your best work. Thank you.” 

Chan swung open the door to his room, stopping Jeongin right in his sentence. 

“Ah. You’re here already. That’s...punctual.” 

As dazzling and showy as ever, Chan looking nothing short of a magazine model. For a prince, he had certain...appearances that he had to maintain. Today, it was a velvety and maroon suit jacket with a white button up. On the collar, two matching brooches had been perfectly placed, and they were silver like moonlight in the shape of English ivy and adorned with diamonds. On his lapel, he wore the royal insignia of the lion and the wolf. Behind him, you could see his slew of stylists cleaning up their makeup kits and obscene assortment of designer dress shoes for him to pick from. You had thought before that he even smelled like royalty: stuffy white roses with a hint of priceless cognac. 

Jeongin bowed his head respectfully. “Everything has been prepared for tonight. The rest of your guards are surrounding the building, and I’ll be corresponding with them as needed, your Highness.” He tapped at his earpiece. 

Chan drew his attention over to you, giving you a rather lusty glare. Over the past couple weeks, you had gotten used to it. He was a prince to every extent of the word. If there was anything that he had wanted, he simply had to ask. It drove him insane that all he could do was merely look at you. You had  wondered if he harbored anything else for you besides the way that he would devour the curves of your shoulders and hips. 

“Fox. Bee. You look nice tonight. I like seeing you dressed up. Makes me feel less out of place.” 

You couldn’t help but let out a little sound of discontentment over his rather affectionate nickname for you. You and your partner had been introduced to him as F and B. Quickly he had figured out Jeongin’s codename as Fox, considering that he had done a poor job picking out one that wasn’t related to him at all. Anyone could tell that boy was fox-like, and he also just wasn’t that creative when it came to picking out a name for himself. B, or Bee as he had decided, was your name; as in bumblebee. After learning about Fox, he figured that there was an animal theme going, so Bee seemed to fit best in his oponion. 

You tested his glare with your best, “Thank you, your Highness.” 

Jeongin gulped. “Your assistant should be waiting downstairs with your itinerary. She told me that you should meet her first off.” 

“You work too hard F. Have some fun tonight, hm? But don’t...drink too much. You’re responsible for my life remember?” Chan clapped his bodyguard on the back. 

Your partner nervously laughed and adjusted his glasses once more: his preferred tic. 

“And Bee?” Chan rose a brow to lean into close and whisper. “Stay close, alright?” 

“Of course, your Highness.” 

Chan let out a little scoff after getting one more proper look at your frame. “Damn. You really are stunning. Just a little too dangerous for me though.” 

You rolled your eyes, dishing him outa, “Whatever you say, your Highness.” 

Jeongin threw you and annoyed glare before tracing after Chan as he sauntered down the hall to the glass elevator. 

“Bee? You coming? Or do you have something better to do?” Chan’s voice called down the hall with an echo and a little teasing gesture of his hand. 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

It had been seven years since you had chosen this line of work, and each time that you had to go to one of these things, you hated them more and more. Not because they were hard to control--they were easy--but you just hated how many superficial and self-absorbed people that they could fit into one room. 

The air was filled with the scent of champagne bubbles and too much Chanel No. 5. From corner to corner of the room, and even next to the ice sculpture of the lion and the wolf crest, silk, satin; velvet and the best cotton could be found. Long gloves covered the arms of ladies with wrinkling skin, and tweed vests held in the guts of men who indulged in their food just as much as their mistresses. All this effort just to appear as if they had given one care about the philanthropic efforts of the royalty.

Several neatly dressed waiters passed you with golden platters of hors d'oeuvres made of ingredients so expensive, they would’ve cost the same amount as the generous donations made by the attendees. If you could’ve, you would’ve scooped up as many of them as you could, just to eat all of their copious amounts of money yourself, but, there was somewhere a rule that you had to keep your hand to yourself when you were on duty. The best that you had to look forward too was take-out to eat at 3 in the morning with Jeongin later. 

Buzzing chatter filled your earpiece while each of the additional guards gave their hourly report. 

“Damn. It’s fucking colder out here than I thought. It’s fucking summer.” One of them joked to the tune of the other guards laughter. 

“Stay focused.” Jeongin scolded over the line. “Don’t leave your posts until your shifts change.” 

While he was a timid man, Jeongin was not one to mess around. Son of the director, he knew that he had big shoes to fill. After pleading for years for her to admit him into the academy, she had agreed. Everyone knew the reason why she didn’t want him in this line of work. Too many dead. Too many missing. In some ways, he was also yours to look after. 

You trailed after Chan who was busy talking to his assistant and his publicist. While he nodded at their words, you knew that he must’ve been barely listening. Chan never really was one for formality, but much rather enjoyed simplicity and pleasure. Jeongin and you had somewhat of a bet going: out of all the guests, you had liked to bet which one he would take with him to his bedroom. Since you had all the profiles of the guests, you liked to bet a little money on which one it would be. 

Jeongin had guessed it to be the heiress and daughter of a tycoon who had made a multi-million won donation in the name of his company. It was ironic; his very company was a big-scale pollutor who liked to make nice with the crown. She was conventionally very pretty: long legs, a thin frame, she was educated and looked as if she could hold somewhat of a conversation...not like that mattered to him. 

You had predicted it to be the foreign CEO who had just started business dealings with the crown. While she might’ve looked a bit stuck-up and prim, she was intimidating, and a challenge. Chan loved challenges. Chan also had a pension for pretty boys with a bit too much money on their hands--usually inherited--and with nothing much else to do other than dote on him. There were plenty of those attending the gala tonight. 

Chan snaked through the crowd, bowing his head at all of the Good evening, your Highnesses and the It’s a pleasure to meet you, your Highnesses. Every few moments or so he would take a bite from a golden plate and then pop it into his mouth. The whole night long, he would hold his glass with him and it would get refilled for him without him even needing to ask. You sometimes liked to pretend that in some places, they must’ve assigned someone to watch him from afar to make sure that he would never need anything before it was given to him. It wouldn’t have surprised you. 

“Having fun Bee?” Chan languidly rolled his head back, swirling his glass. 

“As much fun as you are.” You quipped. 

“Anything that I should be concerned about?” 

“Nothing of concern.” You stated matter-of-factly. Had you matched his flirting tone, you knew that you wouldn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the night. “Fox. Report?” 

“Nothing that I can see. No one has been tagging you.” Jeongin had staked himself up on the upper balcony of the banquet hall room, and had been watching for as long as you had been following after the prince. “You sensing anything strange?” His voice tickled in your in-ear. 

“Just a bunch of the normal crowd.” You kept your tone down low. “He’s rubbing noses with the usual. You’ve seen too?” 

He chuckled. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

You followed Chan to his seat nearest the front of the room which had been fashioned into a stage with a clear glass podium in the center. Right in front there was one more crest decorating it. Chan had ensured it to be so: he had wanted everyone to know that this was all for his charity. 

“It seems like our bets aren’t working out. He hasn’t talked to either of the...suspects.” Your partner changed his choice of words knowing that the other guards were listening. 

From the opposite side of the room both the heiress and the CEO stood with thin glasses of wine in their lithe hands. Chan had in fact walked right past them, and didn’t even notice. 

“Tonight is going to be a long night.” Jeongin sighed over the line. 

You politely pushed past attendees with a raised hand and a sweet smile. You had found that when you smiled, you had appeared less intimidating. 

“Oh wait...what’s this?” 

“What?” You whipped your head around after Jeongin’s interjection. “What? Do you see something? What’s the call?” 

“Relax! It just looks like he’s approaching someone he wants to talk to. I think both of us are about to be proven wrong.” 

“Ah, shit.” You sighed. “Don’t put me on edge like that.” 

“I’m only trying to entertain myself.” 

“Name. Who is it? You’ve got the roster.” 

You partner was quiet for a minute, and you watched from a distance as Chan approached the man leaned over a martini seated at one of the perfectly decorated tables. 

“Uh, I think that he’s Lee Minho. Some kind of royalty from somewhere else. Pretty low ranking from the looks of it. I think that he made a donation himself...and it’s...damn, larger than you would expect.” 

“Should we be concerned?” 

“No. Seems harmless.” 

“Thank you for coming,” You made out the words that Chan had mouthed. He drew a chair next to the unknown man. 

From what you could tell, Lee Minho was handsome to the full extent of the word: nearly all of his physical features were exemplary and his suit appeared to have been fitted to perfect for him; likely one of a kind. He too wore an insignia on his lapel, but it was one that you hadn’t recognized before. He had immaculately styled hair that had some kind of rebellious and boyish charm to it. The man had a kind of mystery about him too: you had been able to pride yourself in being able to read people, and it had saved your life on more than one occasion. But with him, there was something that you couldn’t place. 

“Do they know eachother?” You asked Jeongin. 

“Not that I know of. School friend maybe? Seems like all the royals send their kids to the same schools.”

“Hm. That would make sense.” 

“Enjoying yourself?” Chan said. 

Lee Minho nodded, and rose his glass to clink it with the prince’s. 

“Do we think that he’s our...suspect?” 

The stranger dipped his head into his hand as he listened to Chan speak. A flirty gesture that you had seen a hundred times or more. Still, the way that he inspected Chan, it wasn’t adoring. Or at least, you didn’t think that it was.

“No. I don’t think so.” 

“What the hell are you yapping about?” One of the other guards snapped over the line. 

“Um, classified stuff.” Jeongin quickly explained. “Above your paygrade. Don’t worry about it.” 

“Fox. Watch out for him tonight.” You snuck over to a corner of the room where you could watch the two of them more discreetly. 

“Affirmative....” Your partner paused. “Babydoll.” 

“Pffff--Babydoll??” The same guard stifled his laughter. “You call her Babydoll, Fox? Damn, you all must be closer than I thought. Didn’t know that I was missing out on some of the action--” 

“--Ever heard of a codename, Three?” 

“Babydoll’s her codename.” 

A grin crept over your lips. “Expect the unexpected.” 

You had almost gotten distracted enough to miss how Lee Minho had leaned over to whisper something into the prince’s ear. After he had done so, Chan laughed out a little, then reached his arm around the other man’s chair comfortably. 

“They’re...cozy.” You updated your partner. 

“I’m trying to cross-check where he might know him from.” 

Chan’s assistant and publicist finally slipped away with giddy little smiles. In many ways, you were jealous of them. They could leave whenever the wanted, eat what they wanted...

Jeongin scoffed. “Well, turns out...nothing. I can’t find anything.” 

“Nothing?” 

“Negative. I’m not seeing any crossover.” 

“So they really are strangers?” 

Your partner sighed. “Looks like neither of us are cashing ou--I mean--finding the suspect.” 

Under your breath, you wondered aloud, “Who are you...Lee Minho?” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The night drew on longer with the rest of the formalities: the formal dinner, followed by several speeches from important people while dessert was being served. It all led up to the final act: His Royal Highness, Prince Chan’s speech. On several neat notecards marked with the crest, he held them in front of him while he ate his last bits of Mont Blanc Chocolate Pavlova. Even the name of the sweet itself sounded pretentious. Granted, it smelled delicious--as many expensive things did. 

You stifled a yawn from your little set up on the edge of the room. At least you should’ve been able to sit, but it turns out that sitting is also against the rules in this line of work. A couple other security and bodyguards had joined you at the edge: some of their heads nodded with sleep, and the others looked as if they had taken one too many energy shots. Luckily, your stamina had been well crafted. 

A fancily dressed MC made his way up to the podium and the room filled with applause after the last speaker had said all of their correct mandatory words. 

“It is my honor to introduce to the stage, our wonderful head benefactor of this organization, His Royal Highness, Prince Chan of the Crown. 

Applause tenfold of before erupted through the whole room and it wasn’t even an afterthought for the every attendee to stand up from their seats in an ovation. It was a force of habit for you, but you found yourself clapping as well. 

Chan rose with grace, and re-buttoned his jacket with finesse. A blinding spotlight found him and it made the diamonds adorning his beck wink brilliantly. Even more blinding was his pearl white, and perfectly trained smile accompanied by his wave. 

Thank you. Thank you. He mouthed. 

“It’s like he’s a frickin’ movie star.” Jeongin groaned. 

“Might as well be with the way that they treat him. You know deep down they’re all just terrified.” 

Chan made his way up to the stage in all of his regality, and the applause didn’t stop until he cleared his throat. A collective groaning of a couple hundred chairs squeaked when everyone sat back down. 

“Thank you everyone, really. I wanted to thank you all for your generous support in your donations to this organization, as well as your association with the crown. I’m sure that all the beneficiaries of your donations are beyond thankful compared to me. Without you, this would not be possible.” Chan spoke with grandiose gestures, as usual, but this time, he had found you on the side of the room. “Listen, aside from being a prince, I’m also just a person. A person who knows what it means to struggle, to--” 

“--I can’t listen to this anymore.” You whispered into the quiet room, and to your partner. 

“Just a few more hours.” He droned. “I almost wish that something would happen so that we don’t have to sit though much else of this.” 

“Be careful what you wish for.” 

In the corner of your eye, Lee Minho shifted in his seat, but still kept his undivided attention to the stage. You figured he must’ve been just like the rest of them: enamored by the flashiness of the crown--and Chan. He had a way of putting a spell on people: it was the kind of spell that a prince of deception had crafted after years of being kept under lock and key. 

“--Anyway, what I’m trying to say, royal or fanciful we all might be, in the simplest way, we’re all just people, therefore this is what connects us all. Thank you.” 

Chan was gifted yet another standing ovation that was somehow even more thunderous than before. 

“Yeah right.” You scoffed. “People born into money. There’s a difference.” 

Chan gave his last waves, then a clamor echoed from the back of the room. At first, it had just sounded like the same raucous laughter you had heard all night, but then it shifted to something different. The sound of laugher turned into shouting, then screams: high pitched and piercing. You had seconds to respond, head whipping around the room to catch sight of the confused prince. In your in-ears, the the sound of gunshots echoed with rapid-fire speed. Machine guns. Shouting commands barked in your ear, and muddled with Jeongin’s string of demands and questions. 

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE? REPORT! REPORT!” 

Your heart instantly started beating into hyperdrive, and your legs sprinted as fast has physically possible 

“THEY’VE GOT GUNS!” A shrill and cracked voice of an older woman wailed from the back of the room. 

Immediately after she had said so, shots fired into the darkened room with sparks, and the metallic sound of bullets hitting the marbled ground followed. 

Chan looked around in his panic for you, petrified on the stage. You slung your gun out from your thigh holster and latched onto him with all of your might. 

“TH-THEY JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE IN THESE VANS. THEY’RE ARMOURED, WE CAN’T--” 

“Get the fuck down there and secure the exists!” Jeongin growled into his mic. “B--is the prince secure??” 

“Secure!” You yelled back. Using your body as a barrier, you led the cowering prince through the mass hysteria of the crowd. 

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Shit.” Chan shook under your iron grip. 

More shots fired into the room and bodies parted like the sea and fell over each other. 

From the balcony, you had caught Jeongin aiming his own gun at the chaos below. 

“I’ll cover you! Fuck! There’s so many of them! Get him to the car out back--Three, Six, meet B out there! Three!? Six!? Report!” 

“Three and Six are down F!” One of the guards panted. “I can provide cover out back!!” 

“Who’s speaking??” Jeongin bellowed, then aimed from above at one of the intruders. Your only focus was on weaving you and Chan out of there, but you had seen one of them in a blur. Each of the men with guns wore dark grey suits with black ties and leather gloves. Each of them wore their own crest: and it was all red. 

“Bee?? Bee???” Chan shouted out for you, and jumped every time the crack of a shot echoed in the ballroom. 

“I’ve got you, your Highness. We’ll be out soon. Keep your head down and listen to me.” Your arm held to him tightly, and you soon found the exit nearest. There was no telling if there would be more of them outside, but you loaded your gun quickly just in case, and pointed it out. 

“Jeongin, get your ass down here!” 

“Jeongin? Who the fuck is that??” Chan ducked down to hide himself behind your frame. 

His name had slipped on your tongue, but that hardly mattered. 

“I’ll be down in a second!!!” 

“Don’t fucking waste time up there when I need you down here!!” 

“Two! Two Reporting!!” A man suddenly yelled in your in-ear. “I’ve made it out back and I’ve secured the exit. The car is safe!!” 

“FOX! Now!” 

Your partner heaved, “I’m coming, I’m coming!!” 

You kicked open the exit door, gun’s still blazing, however one one else could be found on the other side. 

“Thank God,” You sighed. 

“Oh shit, I’m gonna be sick.” Chan had turned paler than white, then stumbled in your arms. 

“Hey, HEY!” You held him upright. “It’s gonna be alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You need to trust me. Your life is in my hands and I’m not giving it up easy, got it?” 

“O-okay.” He stammered, then attempted to straighten himself. 

“The Prince is outside, repeat, The Prince is outside. Two, are you in position?” 

“Yes. Yes, I am.” 

Other than the fact that you had just escaped absolute peril, the evening was unbearably pleasant. Crickets chirped in the summer evening, and the humidity of the night smelled gorgeously of the lake that was near-by as well as the vast array of flowers that had been purposefully landscaped around the hotel. Chan’s uneven steps scraped at the gravel walkway. 

Since you had canvassed the whole building well, you had known exactly where the getaway car was, but you were still careful. 

“Bee. Bee!” Chan blabbered. “Have-have I told you yet that I-I’m in love with you?” 

“No, you haven’t Your Highness.” 

“I fucking am. If I die tonight, I want you to know that I am ridiculously in love with you, and fuck, I wanna--” 

“--I’m sorry, Your Highness, respectfully, but now is not the time for this and you are not dying on my watch.” 

Somewhere off in the distance, frogs croaked, and the splashing of fish in the lake plopped at the surface waters. You turned a corner to finally see Two waiting his his gun raised. He was a bit of a shorter and scrawnier man, but something about him told you that where he lacked in strength, he must’ve made up for in agility. 

“I’m out! I’m out!” Your partner gasped, and over the in-ear you could hear his running footsteps. “I’m almost there! I’ll be there in a second!” 

“Your Highness,” Two bowed and opened the car door. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. You can call me Two or J. Either you prefer.” 

Jeongin came bounding around the corner with heaving breaths and his clothes askew. His glasses which just barely held onto his face had a crack on them and his knuckles were covered in blood. 

“Let’s go.” The younger man prompted. 

“In the car you go, Your Highness.” You motioned for him to do so. 

Chan whimpered like a toddler. 

You shoved his body in, “Stop that. Get in the car.” 

“I’m in love with you Bee!” He yelled out, “I’M FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU BEE!” 

Jeongin slammed the door in his face with a bit of a chuckle. 

“He’s delirious.” 

“Mm.” your partner smiled. “Sure.” 

[avversiera-writes]

touch your heart [senju tobirama/you] - prologue + chapter 1

Summary: Hashirama might go down as the worst matchmaker in history, but he thinks he might be on to something. Tobirama sees through his brother's schemes and is determined not to fall for it. Or fall for you.

Word Count: 5k-ish

A/N: Yoooo sorry for taking this long to post it LMAOOO anyways, this work is available on AO3 with 12 chapters in, so if you want to read away! 

also dedicating this post to @senju-sekhmet you’re the best, and happy belated XD 

AO3 LINK FOR TOUCH YOUR HEART

LINK FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES 

[PROLOGUE]

Thank you. 

Those two words are what Tobirama’s mother seemed to tell his father all the time. She looked grateful saying it too. Too grateful to the point that she is cooped up in the Senju compound all the time, with nowhere to go. Tobirama was a smart kid–too smart for his own good–and he saw that the last place she wants to be was here, with family and raising children in this godforsaken war zone. 

 His mother said that was how she met his father, and how she fell in love with him, by the words of gratefulness, but Tobirama is a smart kid. He knew nothing of love, but he could tell that his mother did not love his father. She mistook feelings of gratitude as feelings of love.  

His mother has a cold face, but she was gentle and fierce and was a great story-teller. She told stories of the great mountains and rivers that she has seen before everything fell into disarray. His mother loved art, books, and knowledge. She always encouraged Tobirama and his brothers to pursue their own curiosities beyond war.  

Tobirama always took that to heart. Sure, his body and his mind are well-suited for battle but his interests lie elsewhere. He loves to explore, to discover, to observe and to experiment to prove something foreign to him. He loves to break down something to its smallest detail and build it back up to make something new. He wants to create. 

Thank you. 

Those were two words that were too much for his mother to bear all her life. It weighed on her. It chained her down. 

Thank you. 

Those were her last words to Tobirama. 

Thank you, for being my son, for letting me be your mother. 

Those were two words that stuck to him like a curse. They were binding, until the bitter end. 

.

.

.

[PART ONE, CHAPTER ONE]

The first time Tobirama sees you, he immediately forms the opinion that you are too loud. Loud, in a sense that everything that passes by you, has to pay attention to you. Loud, in a sense that, when you speak, everyone has to hang by your every word. You are too loud, and he immediately concludes that you will not last long in a battle because you seem like an easy target. It is not like him to make fast conclusions without further observation, but you are just so loud that he wants to immediately shut down his senses.

So loud in fact, that even among the crowd, Tobirama cannot help but look your way and be wary of your presence. 

Contrary to what he thinks, you are not that much of a blabbermouth nor a person who speaks aimlessly, but he does not know you yet. He has not even had a chance to look you straight in the face. 

Today, he finds you standing by an umbrella stand, where a dozen colorful and detailed parasols are opened as a display to passerbys. You are in your casual kimono, and because it is spring, there are lovely pink cherry blossoms etched on your left sleeve, spreading towards your chest. Your obi cinches your waist and holds your sword by your side, so that it is easy to rest your hand on top of the hilt. Your hair is held back from your face with a simple hairpiece, and a festival fox mask hangs on the side of your head.

Tobirama stares, not having anything else to look at. 

Hashirama and Madara are also walking around, greeting the citizens of Konoha, and holding children up in the air. Hashirama’s young sons follow closely behind, playfully roughhousing each other and anyone who happens to get in their way. 

Hashirama notices his brother, glaring at a distant point and decides to step in lest Tobirama accidentally offends someone. He knows that his brother does not mean to glower at times. It’s just his eyes are a bit sensitive to the sun. 

At least, that is the reason, most of the time.

Tobirama immediately looks away from you, but Hashirama already saw who he was looking at. He gives Tobirama a curious smile. 

“What?” Tobirama deadpans. 

“You should go talk to her,” Hashirama suggests. “You seem interested.”

Tobirama folds his arms. “No.” 

Hashirama opens his mouth to add another thing, but Tobirama beats him to it. 

“Brother, I said no,” Tobirama affirms, and that was that. 

 Hashirama sighs, and pouts a little. “She’s nice!” 

Tobirama fakes a cough, making sure to spit out the words idiot clearly, and he crosses his arms. “You think everyone is nice.”

“Well, innocent until proven guilty, as they say!” 

Tobirama glances back at you, and finds that he can easily track you. 

 “With all due respect, elder brother, that is a very naive statement coming from you.” 

Tobirama has heard of you and he stops himself from telling Hashirama that, and instead lets him point out that you were one of the newly ranked jounins and that you specialize in kenjutsu. You also have been spending your free time teaching some of the older genins the basics of close range fighting and defense. 

 As the Hokage, Hashirama is more than happy to get to know those who are rising to the ranks and especially those who are gifted. It means that their Academy is working, even though it hasn’t been very long since it was established. You were one of those people from a clan who are already shinobi, but had to be evaluated in order to determine your rank and the Shodaime Hokage saw how skillful you are, despite not being the most powerful user of ninjutsu. He wants Konoha to have dependable teachers who will pass on useful skills and knowledge to whoever wants to learn. 

You start to walk away from the umbrella stand, when suddenly a bunch of kids and teenagers rush towards you. Tobirama sees some young students in the group that he had picked himself. Hiruzen stands out among the rest, loud and rambunctious, while Danzo follows closely behind like a shadow, but as obtrusive.

“Sensei! You should join the sparring competition later! They have bokkens, you’re good with bokkens!” 

You laugh, and try to back out before the others start to make your decision. “I think I will pass!” 

“Aww, no!” 

Tobirama watches the commotion, and then you look towards him. He freezes, as you smile at him and continue to wave him forward. Tobirama glares, because you are still waving at him but he does not know you so obviously he is not going to wave back, but suddenly Madara passes by him and Tobirama almost feels embarrassed. 

  Almost. He checks himself.

The wave was not meant for him.  

He glimpses Madara give a small wave, and this makes him pause.

 Madara waves? Tobirama almost scoffs at this, but he must keep his public appearance. 

You smile warmly, and introduce Madara to the younger children who were starting to cower a little because of his serious and glum expression. Tobirama watches as you slip your arm through Madara’s arm like you have done it many times. Tobirama’s students look at each other, but they do not harbor any bad sentiments toward the Uchiha clan leader. Some of them even crack a smile at the younger children’s reactions. Madara can be a little intimidating at first, if you do not know him.

 Then, you say something to the kids, earning a laugh from them and a small, tight-lipped smile from Madara.

Tobirama notices that the edges of Madara’s eyes have softened, something he only does around Hashirama.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get introduced to her? She is a very warm person,” Hashirama asks. “She’s also very smart and I think you’d benefit from her insights.” 

Tobirama watches her say her goodbyes and pat a few children’s heads, and walk away. “I’m fine.”

 Hashirama looks at Tobirama, doubt painted across his face, but he lets it go. 

 For now. 

//

You stand in front of the Hokage, waiting for him to speak. You have been called early in the morning to meet with him, and you have been there for a few minutes, standing awkwardly. You are not sure whether to start some small talk since the Shodaime is busy peering over a few scrolls. Usually, whenever you see him, the Hokage is pretty chatty and offers a lot of kind words. He also seems to talk a lot about his younger brother to you, bragging about him and his accomplishments, and underwhelmingly explaining his personality, which you find strange. 

It makes you think that there’s something off about Tobirama. 

The door behind you opens and you step to the side to make a wide berth for the incoming person, even though there is enough room for at least a few more people to stand there. Tobirama walks in, his face sporting deep eyebags, but his eyes are hard and alert. You look him over, and your eyes go to his rough hands, where there are dried ink stains on his pale skin. His veins protrude out, blue and green rivers criss-crossing over his hands and up his arms. You see hints of faded scars on his skin, but in this light, his pale skin makes up for the blemishes.

“Brother,” Tobirama greets, although it sounds more like he is about to scold his elder brother. 

 Hashirama smiles and he motions for you to step closer. 

You do, and you feel Tobirama’s eyes track you. You immediately look up and you catch his gaze, which makes him look away. 

“I have a task for the two of you,” Hashirama casually brings up. He looks strangely cheerful. Like he has a step by step plan that went exactly as he wanted. 

You look at the Hokage, all ears. And curious as to why he is acting this way. 

“It has come to my attention that while we are training the next generation to be good shinobis, I do not think that we have a proper and standard curriculum,” Hashirama begins. 

Tobirama’s head snaps upright at this. “Brother, what do you mean?” 

He sounds almost angry, and well, if you were the creator of the education system in the village you built and someone had found flaws in it, you would be too. 

“I think that there should be specific learning materials for each year before graduating to a genin, and so on,” Hashirama elaborates some more. “The two of you are to come up with these materials, and I want you to include other aspects that are not just related to being a shinobi. I want the next generation to not only be bred for war, but to have dispositions in other areas.” 

Hashirama stands up and he places his palms on his desk. “Tobirama, you know this. You want to expand our village, I think this is a good step to make that happen.”

 Tobirama looks at his brother with narrowed, suspicious eyes. He is not an idiot. He knows this is some set up, otherwise, why would his brother call you earlier than him? Why would his brother need you for this? These are the types of things he can accomplish on his own, so why are you here?

 “I understand. Then, I think it is time for that to happen. We are at peace, after all.” 

You slowly raise your hand. You notice that Tobirama does not even glance at you, and you want to laugh. You have heard a few things about Senju Tobirama from his own brother, and while it does not surprise you that he has a prickly attitude, it is another thing to see it upfront. It does not intimidate you, rather, it makes you want to see more of his reactions. He reminds you of the shy children that you have met in the Academy. 

You just need to push the right buttons.

“If I may, Lord Hokage,” you start. 

 Hashirama nods for you to continue. 

“With all due respect, what qualifications did I have to help Lord Tobirama with this new project?” 

You swear you saw Tobirama’s eye twitch from the way you said his title. You hide your smirk by biting the side of your cheek.

Hashirama lets out a small chuckle, in which he earns a glare from his younger brother. 

“I have heard about your dedication in teaching the children when you have the time, and since you insisted that you do not want to be a jounin sensei yet, like my brother is, I think it is a good idea for you to keep your head busy. Besides, I have heard you are quite the quick learner. You will find that my brother here is a very good teacher and can offer guidance well, if you can look past his mean demeanor.” 

Tobirama opens his mouth to snap at his brother, but instead, takes a breath and holds his tongue.

Hashirama gathers up some documents from the corner of his desk. “You two can start tomorrow. I would love to have this done by the end of summer, just as the new school year is upon us.” 

 “Brother, stop being ridiculous. That is in three months,” Tobirama interjects. “I think I’m going to need time to plan.” 

 Hashirama glances at his brother. “Well, luckily for you, someone is here to help you. I have faith in you.” 

“Too much, perhaps,” Tobirama dryly says, not even bothering to hide that he does not like this.  

“And you, as well,” Hashirama says to you with a cheerful smile.

 “Lord Hokage, with all due respect, am I going to get paid enough for this? I am practically jobless, I have a living to make,” you inquire with a smile. “Besides, you may also have to compensate for putting me up with your dear brother.”

In the corner of your eye, Tobirama crosses his arms. 

 Hashirama laughs heartily, and he gives Tobirama a grin. “I like her!” He nods. “You will surely be thanked for your services.” 

He extends the pile of documents towards you and you step forward to accept them. You thank the Hokage with doubt, half-serious about the salary, but you decide to not push it today and you give him a smile. Then, you also smile at Tobirama.

 “I will see you tomorrow then,” you tell him. 

Tobirama carefully gazes at you, and then he nods. He turns to his brother with a determined look on his face. Or an angry look. You are honestly not sure. 

“The Hokage mansion’s library,” Tobirama grounds out curtly. “9 am. Sharp.”

You look at him, wondering what type of bad day he is having to be this abrupt, or if this is how he really is. You understand that he and his brother have been at war for all of their life, so maybe this is how he has turned out.

“I will see you.” You bow quickly and walk out of there, ready to dive into the materials the Hokage gave you. 

//

Madara aims a punch towards your way, but you quickly dodge it and block it with the palm of your hand, and you follow through by sending his movement forward by using his momentum and landing a charged punch to his lower ribs, just where his liver will be. 

Madara chuckles and he flips himself away from you. 

“Brutal,” Madara comments breezily. “That can actually kill someone, but fortunately I’m not just anyone.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah well, give me an A for effort.”

Madara falters and his eyes narrow at you. He knows as well as you do that you are slacking and there is a lot on your mind. “Is this about what Hashirama told you earlier?”

You meet his eyes and let out a sigh. “Wow, word travels fast.”

Madara starts to walk towards you and he gathers his hair to one side. “That was not fair of him. If you want, I can talk to him about that.” 

You watch Madara’s face, and a cloud passes overhead. You are almost tempted to say yes and cling to the wings that Madara has put you under to shelter you, but you are not that woman anymore. You are not a quitter. Besides, you need to have a purpose to pour your efforts in. If not, then what else could be in store for you? 

“It’s not like the Hokage asked me to cut off my hand, I will be fine, Madara,” you finally answer. “Really.”

Madara folds his arms and he presses his lips together. “If you ever need me to go beat him up then say the word.”

You cannot help the chuckle that escapes your mouth. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. There will be no need of beating.” You pause and a smirk forms on your face as an idea takes form in your mind. “However, you can help me get to know Tobirama.”

Madara scowls, knowing that you are pushing his buttons. “No, you are on your own,” he grits out. 

The air around your friend changes, and suddenly all the silliness in your demeanor fades away. Your eyes narrow warily, as his face darkens at you with disapproval. You know that he still holds a grudge on Tobirama, and it really is quite low of you to mention him so casually. 

 Madara narrows his eyes at you and shakes his head. "You have some guts." 

You point your chin towards him naughtily. "Everyone's fair game." You break out into a smile, even if Madara can decide right then and there to end your life. "You just can't take it."

Madara used to always intimidate you, and he furthered that feeling at times by showing you his sharingan, because you know, you know , what he is capable of doing with those eyes, but he never really did anything to you. It was more of the idea of what he can do to you, at any given time. 

 Madara stays silent for a few more moments. Then, he attempts to soften his voice. “What do you want to know?” 

You raise an eyebrow at this. “Uchiha Madara is finally giving in?” 

 Madara rolls his eyes and he lets out a small, tight-lipped smile. "Just this once, but you are paying for lunch.” 

 You gasp, taking offense at this. “You do know I am broke, right?” 

“Who’s fault was it for not taking my offer to live in the Uchiha compound?” Madara matches his footsteps with yours as the two of you head towards the village. 

“First of all, I am not an Uchiha, your people will oust me the moment I step foot, and second, I want to make a living for myself.” 

Madara rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but you’re all alone.”

 “Aren’t you?” You retort without thought.

 Madara falls into silence. “You know someday, you will get in trouble with that mouth of yours.” 

“You just can’t handle me.” 

 “The offer still stands,” Madara mutters, and he glances at you. “And it’s safe there. I will make sure no one even says a bad word about you. If you are with me, they won’t even look at you.” 

“That sounds like a lonely life, and you know that I have been mostly caged in my childhood.” You sigh and you bump your shoulder against his arm. “I appreciate everything you have done for me, but I have nothing, Madara. It’s time I do something for myself and invest in something bigger than me. I need that.” 

//

The Hokage mansion is huge inside, and since you do not visit this place often, you are not sure where the said library is. It could just be any room in here. Or, there is no such thing as the library in the Hokage mansion and Tobirama just said that because he wants to avoid you and send you on a goosechase away from him. You know that he is not thrilled to be put up on this project with you, based on his expressions yesterday, but you are kind of determined to change his mind now. 

 Besides, you are fun and cool, something he can take notes on as he seems prudish. 

  You sigh as you decide to just wait for Tobirama outside, instead of wandering inside the mansion. There are still some parts being built, and you do not want to cause any trouble to the workers there. 

You are quite early, hoping to beat Tobirama to the punch to solidify yourself in his good graces and show him that you are serious about this. However, due to your punctuality, the waiting time is becoming ridiculously long. Sometimes you are not big on the whole waiting patiently thing.

You sigh, and aimlessly walk around the whole building. 

  You hear people starting to mile about to start their day, and you hear children laughing and talking loudly among themselves, which brings a smile to your lips. You decide to stay near the entrance of the mansion so Tobirama will not have any trouble looking for you. 

Lost in your thoughts, you brandish your blade from its scabbard and you start to draw stick figures on the soil, and you add little details such as trees, kunais and shurikens. 

You are not sure how much Tobirama knows about you, but you have heard many things about him, mostly from his brother, both good and bad. You know that he is a great warrior and one of the most brilliant minds that his generation has seen. He is responsible for the complex system of the very village you reside in, and the Hokage’s trusted advisor, even more than Uchiha Madara, who you know is very close to Hashirama. You also know that he is a great sensei, according to his students, which you have no doubt about since he is very intelligent. 

Personality wise, he remains a mystery to you. Mostly because Hashirama glosses over that when talking about him. All you know is that Tobirama can be difficult at times, but you figure that it is how one should act when you are at the forefront of leading this village.

However, you are not in the least intimidated, even if he is a little older and has experienced more in life. Now that you are going to be working with him more, you are curious as to what the famed Senju Tobirama is really all about. 

“I hope I did not keep you waiting,” Tobirama’s rough voice interrupts the quiet that you have immersed yourself in. 

  You perk up, and put your sword back with a loud click. He glances down at the ground, where you have made silly stick figures of shinobis fighting. You attempt to erase them with your foot. 

“Not at all!” You lie, but Tobirama sees through that and he narrows his eyes suspiciously. 

His serious face does not change, and instead you think he grew even more serious. He nods and gestures towards the mansion. He clutches the books and the scrolls he has close to his body.

 “Shall we?” 

You follow Tobirama towards the entrance, trying to keep up with his long strides, though he seems to be speeding up on purpose. Finally, he unlocks the library doors and opens them wide. The two of you step in, and you cannot help but feel underwhelmed at the great reveal of the Hokage mansion’s library. 

It is bare, with a lone wooden table and three chairs situated next to the windows. 

 To the side are empty bookshelves, with the exception of one shelf, which is almost halfway filled. 

“This is a sorry library,” you comment under your breath. 

 Tobirama walks up to the table and puts down the materials he has been carrying. 

  “We are going to fill it, starting today,” Tobirama says. “And for the rest of the year.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “How? Write and publish our own books?” 

  Tobirama glances up at you, without irony. “Yes.”  

You feign a smile.  “Oh,” you deadpan. He does seem like the type of person to do that.

“We are also going to visit every clan in the village and ask if we could transcribe some of their writings,” Tobirama continues. “We can make our references through that, integrate their history and make a comprehensive one for Konoha. We also need to learn some of their jutsus and study them, among other things.” 

  You nod, understanding what he means. “Alright, where do we start? And how do we rewrite the Academy curriculum part?” 

“Well first, I will have to set a few rules,” Tobirama drones on, looking at you pointedly.  

You walk towards him so that you are standing on the other side of the table. “Alright, shoot,” you say. 

“I have written the deadlines of the parts that you will do. You must give them to me, on time ,” Tobirama sternly says, slipping one of the scrolls forward. “I have a vague plan of what the curriculum can look like, but you will also have the chance to express your ideas.” 

  You take the scroll and open it gingerly, and you look at the back to back due dates. 

“You must not talk to me aimlessly, unless it is about this project or if you need any clarification on the tasks you have to do,” Tobirama continues. “When we are working, I expect you to only work.”

You nod, thinking that these are easy, reasonable rules. 

  “You must be punctual.” 

  You are way too punctual, so you know that you are going to follow this rule perfectly. 

“Do not eat near me.” 

  At this, you almost roll your eyes, but you hold yourself back. 

  “Do not touch my things, unless I give them to you. I hope that you can call my title with respect,” Tobirama drones on and on, mostly about the little things he is apparently very particular about. “You will also be training with me and my students, and I expect you to always be on top of your game.” 

“Yes, of course.” You blink at all his so-called rules, and fight the urge to roll your eyes. It’s like he already has the impression that you won’t be as dedicated to your job as he is. 

  But you are dedicated. 

However, you cannot help but talk back. He probably made a rule for that, but it goes unheard by you. 

Tobirama nods. “Very well.” 

  “Did you stay up all night making this up?” You ask, unable to help yourself garner some reaction from him. 

Tobirama’s stare is stormy, and his eyes narrow strictly. “It is common sense that you abide by such unsaid rules.”

  “But you just, well forgive me, enumerated them. If they are common sense, then you would not have to re-tell it.” 

Tobirama lets out a stream of breath from his nose that sounds a tad bit impatient, and he rolls his eyes. 

  You smile, feeling a little triumphant at getting a reaction from him. He catches your expression and he schools his face to become serious once more.

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, and you wait for Tobirama to speak. 

  “I heard you teach at the Academy at times,” Tobirama suddenly brings up. “When did you start?” 

  Your eyes narrow slightly at this. Tobirama built the Academy, so he must be aware of the things happening there. “Almost a year ago.” 

  Tobirama taps a finger on the books that he set down. “And you teach when?” 

“Wednesdays and Fridays,” you reply. 

Tobirama nods. “I will be coming with you.” 

You pause at this. “Wait, why?” 

Tobirama looks at you as if it’s obvious. “To size up what the kids need to learn, observe which materials are appropriate for age groups until they graduate as genin, and so forth.”  

Of course, that makes sense. 

Tobirama pulls out the chair and he slides into it. “Then, let us begin. We have many things to research and read up on.” 

You look at him as he opens the books, and distributes some of them to you. 

  “Will you get around to telling me what your plan is, or are you just going to let me guess?” You ask as you flip to the first page of one of the books that he handed to you.

You slide on the chair across from him, taking care to move to the side so that you are giving him his space. 

“Silence, when I am working,” Tobirama states without looking up from what he is reading. “Do not talk to me aimlessly. You will get a chance to ask me questions later, I suggest you start listing them down.”

  “Alright, alright,” you mumble. 

You read the first paragraph of the book, already taking note of the main idea. After a few pages, however, you glance up at your book and to Tobirama, who has not moved an inch except to turn a page. You observe his pristine expression, your eyes going down the slope of his strong nose, his high cheekbones, and his lips that form into a pout, and then to the markings on his face and chin.

  He’s handsome, you’ll give him that. 

His eyes never waver, unlike you, and from this, you can tell that he always pours all his focus and efforts when he does something. 

“Work,” Tobirama reminds you. “And look at the due dates so you can think about how you can strategize your time.” 

You snap up and pretend to go back to your reading, but you glance at him one last time. Something about him piques your curiosity, and it makes you want to push his buttons just to see what the famed Senju Tobirama is all about. 

 You cannot help but let out a tiny smile and you raise the book to hide your face. 

Well, if he already has some sort of prejudice towards you, you might as well play that to your advantage. 

You smirk to yourself, finally looking forward to the time the two of you will spend together. 

.

.

.

[CHAPTER TWO >>>]

[drama--universe]

Bad boy and his girl

Requested by anonymous: Hello! I was wondering if you could do a modern ah with Xue Yang? Maybe something along the lines reader rebels against parents and dates him with a fluff ending? Thank you!🥰💗

Word Count: 2223 words

Warnings: toxic parents, cliché, Xue Yang's a bit OC-ish (sorry)

A/n I also want to say that the parents could be considered toxic but I wasn't sure if I should label them as toxic or overly strict, but just to be sure I put it in

You slammed the front door behind you, hoping your parents would hear it loud and clear. You just had another fight and at this point you were sick of them seeking trouble with you. Everyday was a new argument, you could never do something right for them. Your usual points never got praise, but once you had one lesser points and you were a mistake of the family. Unlike your brother, wo's grades were lower than the bloody sea, yet he was the best thing in the world. After all, he would get the family business while you would simply marry a rich man that your parents chose (not like you were going to, but they didn't listen).

The bus arrived and you got on, sitting on the back next to the window. After 10 minutes, you got of and walked to school. You were still in a bad mood, but it just got worse when a motorcycle zipped in front of you. You stumbled before glaring at the person, which you already knew to be Xue Yang.

He was the infamous bad boy of your school. Tattoos, motorcycle, smoked and had a general bad attitude towards school, which was surprising when you realized that he was friends with Xiao Xingchen who was a pretty good student. You didn't necessarily hated him, but rather you were just jealous. He could live the life he wanted and you were jealous because of that.

You shook your head and continued to walk to your class. You entered and suddenly all eyes were on you. You frowned, looking behind you and there stood Xue Yang. He was on time... Xue Yang who never bothered to show up to class and hung around on the roof, was 10 minutes early.

"Am I that good looking, sweetheart?" "In your dreams." You sneered back and he scoffed, walking past you and sitting down in his seat at the back. You sighed and walked to your own seat. Laying your bag on top of your desk before grabbing your phone. You scrolled the news as you waited for the bell to ring. When it did, you put your phone into your bag.

Class started and before you knew it, lunch approached. The bell rang loudly and most students ran out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang. You just waited for a bit before you stood up as well, grabbing your food card and phone before you walked out. You didn't notice the eyes that followed you nor did you hear them following you until you heard the whispers. Then you noticed Xue Yang following you and you bit your lip, turning around and marching his way. You then grabbed his arm and dragged him along to an empty hall.

"Why are you following me?" "Can't I?" He said, leaning down to meet your height and to stand face to face. You sighed, looking away before looking back at him. His face was inches from yours and you noticed his face tattoo. A small moon with a constellation next to it (the cancer constellation). You also noticed a few freckles.

"What do you want?" You sneered and he gave you a smirk.

"Go on a date with me." He said and you glared at him before thinking it through. It would piss your parents off if you did... and it was not like he was that bad looking. Worth it.

"Sure, after school of course." You commented before turning around to walk back, but freezing when you heard him whine.

"Fine~" He whined and you chuckled before continuing back to the cafeteria to get some food. He followed you, like a guard dog, as the other students started to whisper once again. You ignored it and grabbed your food.

The rest of the day went the same way, mostly with Xue Yang hanging around you. When the school day ended, instead of going to your after school lesson, you waited for Xue Yang by his motorcycle. After only 3 minutes, he reached, leaning against his motorcycle as he looked at you.

"Where are we going then?" You asked and he smirked before handing you a helmet. "You carry an extra helmet?" You asked and he scoffed again before putting his own on and throwing his leg over the motorcycle. He looked your way and you got on behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. He drover off and your grip tightened slightly. You drove for about 15 minutes before he stopped driving. You looked around before spotting a fair. You took your helmet off as you got off of the motorcycle before looking at him again.

"A fair?" "I'm good at shooting games." He shrugged and you chuckled, handing him the helmet before turning to the fair. It was small, but it looked fun. Xue Yang locked his motorcycle before grabbing your hand and leading you to the fair. He then stopped, looking at you.

"What do you want to do?" He asked and you looked up before looking around again. You didn't know anything and looked at him sheepishly.

"I've never been on a fair, so I don't really know anything." You admitted and he raised an eyebrow at you before smirking.

"Well, first time for everything." He said and you nodded. He leaded you to what looked like a shooting stand. He paid before grabbing a gun and handing it to you. You looked at him confusingly and he chuckled again as you took it in your hands. He stood behind you and showed you how to hold the gun before helping you aim. You pulled the trigger and one of the balloons popped. You smiled brightly, turning to face him only to jump back when your noses touched.

"Thank you..." You mumbled before aiming again and hitting 2 more balloons. You paused, glancing at Xue Yang to see his reaction. He was just smiling and you bit your lip to hide your own smile before aiming at the balloons again. You shot 2 more balloons before looking at the owner of the stand.

"You can choose one of these." The man said and you looked around before spotting a black panther plushie keychain. You pointed at and the vendor smiled, grabbing the plushie and giving it to you. You thanked him before turning to Xue Yang. You held it out to him and he looked at it with a raised eyebrow.

"For you." "It's usually the man who gifts something to the girl." He said and you frowned, taking his hand and placing the keychain in it.

"I don't like gender roles. Now take it." You said and he chuckled again before placing it in his pocket.

"Attraction next." He then said and you frowned as he dragged you along to what seemed to be the tallest attraction of the whole fair. As you waited in line, you couldn't help but feel nervous as you heard the screams. You debated for a few seconds before grabbing Xue Yang's shirt and clinging to him. He turned his head to look at you before grabbing your hands and removing them from his shirt. You pouted until you felt his arm on your shoulders. You looked at him again before getting a bit closer to him. The line moved quite fast and before you knew it, you were sitting in the front row with the bars already down over your shoulders. You had already grabbed his hand to hold on too and waited for the countdown.

"Ah, couple in the front he? I don't like couples!" The announcer of the ride spoke before you were suddenly launched off into the first loop. You screamed loudly for the whole ride and when you arrived back in the loading station, your hair was a mess and Xue Yang was most likely in pain.

"Oh, someone's getting dumped!" The announcer joked as the bars lifted. You quickly got out of the ride and waited for Xue Yang before leaving the attraction.

"I hate that... I need food." You said, looking around for a food stand. Once again, you were dragged to another stand. The food seemed very greasy and unhealthy, but you could care less as Xue Yang ordered the food. You waited at the table and Xue Yang made his way back with the food and you smiled, thanking him as you helped him put down the food. Just then, your phone rang and you pulled it out of your pocket.

"Ah, it's my mom..." "Take it, I don't mind." He said as he took a bite out of his own food. You nodded with a smile, sliding the icon to the green phone thingy and then put it on your ear.

"Where are you?!" She screeched and you pulled the phone away from your ear, hissing in pain. The smile you had was already gone as you tried to think for an answer. Xue Yang looked at you before grabbing your phone.

"Don't worry ma'am, I'll get your daughter home safely after our date." And then he hung up, handing you your phone like he had not just done that. You took it, turning your phone off before taking a bite of your food.

"Wah, this is good." You said, taking another bite happily. "You learn something new everyday." He said before taking his own phone, holding it out to you.

"Put your number in." He said as he continued to eat. You took another bite before putting down your cutlery and taking the phone. After putting your number in, you handed the phone back and continued to eat.

You went to a few more places, winning a few more plushies (whish Xue Yang gave to you this time) and then came the time to go home. It was already 10 pm by now and 10:30 pm when you arrived at your house. You could see your mother by the door, glaring at the two of you. You got off and gave him the helmet you wore.

"Thanks for today, it was really fun." You smiled and he smirked, sitting on his bike.

"Tomorrow as well?" "Sure." You said before acing on impulse again and kissing his cheek before going to your house, dragging the bag of plushies behind you. You entered the house, ignoring the stares from both of your parents and going to your room. You closed the door and laid on your bed.

Yeah, you were grounded for 2 weeks the next day. You had already sent the info to Xue Yang, but he had only read it. You on the other hand, were literally locked in your room by your parents (and you had no key or inside lock yourself) and you were just laying on your bed. You didn't want to study and you had nothing else in your room besides your phone, yet had no internet since your parents had blocked you from the network. How you had survived until 3 pm was a miracle.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you heard a knock on your window. You jumped up and stared at the window. There was Xue Yang, his famous smirk already making you feel happy as you walked to the window and opened it.

"What are you doing here?" "Picking you up of course. Saving the princess from her locked room." He teased and you looked at him for a few seconds before nodding.

"I need to change, wait down there. And hide!" You whispered and he nodded, climbing down the tree again. You quickly changed into your favorite outfit (which might have matched a bit with Xue Yang) and pulled some shoes on before taking your wallet and phone. You turned off the light of your room and climb out of the window and down the tree. Xue Yang was waiting there with his motorcycle. It was then that you noticed the panther keychain that hung on the motorcycles key. You smiled before grabbing the helmet he held out. You got on before flinching when you heard your mother screech once again, hanging out of your window as she screamed at you.

"Go, go, go!" You exclaimed and you drove off again to your next destination. You arrived at an arcade.

"Let me guess, you're good at shooting games?" You asked and he shrugged as he pulled the keys from his motorcycle. You went inside and the happy music made you happy immediately. You started to game, Xue Yang showing you how to do everything as you moved from game to game. By the end (5 hours later), you had about 300 tickets and you had probably wasted tons of money. Now it was to decide what to get with the tickets. You didn't want another plushie, so the plushie section was excluded, and the other side was mostly kid stuff. The only thing that you could see was jewelry. And most wasn't your style, but you didn't get to choose as Xue Yang handed the man the tickets. You looked at him as the man handed him a box and he nodded before pulling you out of the arcade.

"What you get?" You asked and he looked at you before telling you to turn around. You did before smiling when you saw a necklace in front of you before he locked it around your neck. You looked down at the necklace, it being a small panther cub necklace.

You smiled again and turned back around. He rolled his eyes at you bright smile before handing you the helmet. You put it on and sat behind him again. He brought you back home like before and once again, your mother was once again at the door. You could care less as you dismounted the motorcycle and handed him the helmet once again.

"Keep the window open." He whispered and your eyes widened in shock.

"You're going to get me end up with bars on my window." You joked and he chuckled. You then leaned up, quickly kissing him before walking to your house and leaving behind a shocked Xue Yang. You once again ignored your mothers screeching, locking yourself in your room once again. You could hear the door lock from the outside and sighed, quickly changing into sweatpants and a hoodie before opening your window. You leaned out of your window, looking down to see Xue Yang. His motorcycle was parked behind your house and he was hiding behind the tree.

"Xue Yang!" You whisper-yelled and he looked up before smirking, starting to climb. Once he reached your window, he climbed inside your room and you closed the window again. You didn't lock it, so that if necessary he could escape quickly. You laid on your bed and after taking his choose and jacket off, he laid next to you. You turned to face him and he laid his arm underneath your head. You laid your head on his arm, still looking at him with a small smile. You staid like that until you fell asleep, not caring if your parents would find you like this as you hugged the man next to you.