#Also Other Guys Possibly named John and Probably named Paul

[clockedtomb]

GtN Allusions: Page 8

Cavalier Absolutely should have done cavalier on page 7, but just didn't think of it. Middle French for horseman or knight, from the Latin for horse. Also means not caring enough about something important, like burning alive for ten thousand years.

Centurions Ancient roman infantry commander of units consisting of 100 (duh) or 80 (times is hard) legionaries. The centurion was responsible for disciplining other soldiers and also civilians, which I think Judith and Marta were clearly All About. Centurions carried a sword at their left side and a dagger at the right side. Centurions sometimes became lictors (which we'll get back to). Roman centurions had to be at least 30, literate, and experienced, and were expected to be strong, dexterous, skilled, and lorge.

There is a biblical story in the gospels of Matthew and Luke about a centurion who asks Jesus to heal his sick boyfriend-slave. It is usually not translated as boyfriend or slave but I've heard pretty compelling tell that the original very clearly refers to a slave that is also boyfriend. Jesus heals the boyfriend, and later the centurion is present at the crucifixion and attests to Jesus's divinity and/or innocence. This is painful for Corona reasons and also Teacher reasons, imo.

There is also a centurion called Julius who helps Paul go to Rome in the book of Acts.

Judith Deuteros Judith means "praised" and/or "Jewish woman." Judith was a brave and beautiful woman who was pissed at people for not trusting G-d enough. She, trusting G-d a frankly legendary amount, prays a lot and then goes into the enemy camp with her maid and casually beheads the Assyrian leader Holofernes. She takes the head back to her people and the Assyrians are like WOW I'm gonna go, so she's saved the day.

There are many excellent paintings of Judith slaying Holofernes but I am partial to this one by Artemisia Gentileschi because these women are gonna do what needs to be done.

An English play about this by Howard Barker has a scene called "The Unforeseen Consequences of a Patriotic Act" and if that isn't putting it mildly.

Deuteros is greek for the second or the other of two. This is a really interesting name to give the heir of the second rather than the cavalier, who should be the second of two. I think this could speak to Judith's inappropriate feelings for Marta, or of her devotion to Jod.

Marta Dyas Marta is a name derived from Aramaic, meaning "lady." There was also a 547 AD Battle of Marta in Tunisia involving a guy called John but it's a stretch. I feel strongly that I'm missing something here.

Dyas has so many interesting false positives that cannot possibly be related and I'm going to share some of them for fun. Dyas is an oil and gas company. Dyas was an 11th century Indian King. Dyas is a surname used in England and Ireland (there have been a couple athletes with this name). Dyas is also just related to the Greek for two of the same, a pair.

The Procession A procession is when a bunch of people walk together in a ceremonial or formal way and what a weird nickname for your house.

Processions were part of major religious festivals in classical Greece and Rome, especially in the cult of Dionysus and in the ritual of Triumph. This got adopted into early Christian practice and processions became associated with ritual performances of the crucifixion and resurrection and with everyday mass and things like weddings and funerals. I mean frankly what doesn't have a procession these days!! Processions were part of what Luther was mad about, and Luther would probably hate the Third so that's valid.

Coronabeth Tridentarius Corona means crown or garland, from Latin. It can refer to the sun's outer atmosphere, the part that's brilliant and shiny. COVID is called a coronavirus because its spike proteins form a corona or halo around the body of the virus, resembling the sun.

Beth is a Kiss song from 1976 from the album Destroyer. Oh Beth, what can I do? It's also a common shortform of Elizabeth, famously the name of two English queens who did some pretty memorable queening. Beth El is a Hebrew phrase meaning "house of G-d" in which beth is a transformation of beit, home.

Tridents are three-pronged fishing spears; the name comes from latin "three teeth." They are associated with Poseidon/Neptune in classical mythology. Poseidon was associated with the sea, storms, springs (water), earthquakes, and horses; Neptune was also associated with heaven.

-ari is a Latin suffix that makes nouns into names.

-ius is a Latin suffix that makes something an adjective indicating that the thing being described is "made of" or "belongs to" the noun.

Together tridentarius seems to be a construction that does The Trident People Name. Which basically does what it says on the tin.

Ianthe Tridentarius Ianthe means "purple flower" in Greek.

Once upon a time in Greek and Roman mythology there was a boy named Iphis who was secretly assigned female at birth but raised as a boy. When Iphis his dad arranges a marriage between Iphis (who he doesn't know is secretly, classically trans) and a girl named Ianthe. Iphis is SO in love with Ianthe. Iphis's mom tries to delay the wedding, but eventually the wedding was going to happen, so Iphis and the mom go to a temple to Isis to pray for help. Iphis is miraculously transformed and marries Ianthe and they live happily ever after.

Tridentarius is still The Trident People Name.

Naberius Tern Naberius is a demon. He is a Marquess of Hell, commanding many legions of demons. Naberius has the body of a three-headed dog or bird. He's a bit of a fop and is super talented at rhetoric and the arts and sciences. He speaks quietly. This is my favorite picture of him.

Stuff I found about Naberius the demon said he's the same as Cerberus the three-headed hell dog but I don't think this association goes both ways.

I was real confused at first about how tern functions as a house name for Babs. A tern is a sea bird. There's a lot of them. But the name doesn't mean three. Here's a black tern. I think it's pretty.

Etymonline says the name of a tern comes from Old Norse for "maid-servant" but etymonline also saved me, because the entry for ternary (threefold) mentions that a tern or terne is a dice throw with three dice or a prize in a lottery with three winning numbers. Why isn't this in the entry for tern!? Babs as the prize seems to be happening for a lot of GtN, and Babs as a throw of three dice works for me on a poetic level. I'm into this.

Isaac Tettares Isaac is the biblical son of Abraham and Sarah. Abraham was supposed to be the father of a great nation, but his wife Sarah was infertile for many years. When Abraham is A HUNDRED YEARS OLD, after decades of not being able to have a child together, Sarah has Isaac. He is personally promised to them by G-d. I absolutely cannot overstate how wanted and loved this child was. Then G-d instructs Abraham to sacrifice Isaac in place of a lamb, as a test of faith. Abraham takes Isaac up to the place where the sacrifice is to take place. He puts his son on the alter, trussed up like a sacrificial lamb. He raises a knife over his head. And G-d is like wow. WOW. Do not. Can you imagine. Good job, absolutely but wow do not, yikes. Thank you <3 and then they just go on with the rest of their lives as father and son?? But Sarah immediately dies. Sometimes it's said that someone told her what happened carelessly and she was scared to death. If you would like to listen to a short and heart-wrenching song about the binding of Isaac and its emotional aftermath, I recommend this one.

Tettares is an Anglicization of the Attic Greek word for four.

Jeannemary Chatur A Google search for "Jeannemary" returns exclusively TLT related results and I think TM may have made this name herself.

Jeanne is a French given name equivalent to Joan/Jane/Jean in English, and rooted in the Hebrew name Yochanan (also the source of John!) meaning "G-d is Gracious." I suspect that the reference here is to Jeanne d'Arc, who believed in G-d the absolute most.

Mary refers to roughly 1/5 of women in the bible and half of all queens.

Chatur is a name derived from Sanskrit. I wasn't able to find reliable information on its etymology.

Abigail Pent Abigail is a Hebrew name referring to a father's joy. The biblical Abigail was a prophetess and the wife of King David. She was wise and is described as one of the most beautiful women ever (Isaac's mother Sarah is one of the others).

Pent is a prefix referring to the Greek for five.

Magnus Quinn Magnus is "great" in Latin. A bunch of kings of Norway and Sweden have been called Magnus. There are also SEVEN saints called Magnus. The Magnus effect in physics describes lift that affects a spinning object moving through fluid. I don't know which if any of these is a reference.

Quinn gives me a liiiiittle trouble as a house name. Quinn is an Irish surname that's usually Catholic with two Ns and Protestant if only one N. Quint refers to a fifth, and quin refers to quintuplets. I find Quinn a stretch.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

"I actually still have more to say lmao but don’t know If I Should " Please go off. It's so refreshing to see someone exercise a healthy dose of caution and scepticism in considering The 'evidence'. Also, wanted to say, I completely get your annoyance about every single song John or Paul has written made to somehow be about the other. I know people are just here to have fun and all but it's such a myopic way of analysing their great body of work.

Like… Here's The Thing:

If John and Paul had sex, it wouldn't be like… that hard for them to hide this fact lol. So the fact we don't have hard proof of it isn't in of itself evidence that it never happened (a thing Mark Lewisohn doesn't seem to quite understand). But finding proof for it outside of Paul himself coming forward and admitting to it (or the executor of his estate, or Sean, or some insanely petty person with an axe to grind who's been… waiting for Paul to die for decades?) is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Honestly, it kind of reads as copium to me when people who are highly invested in Being Right About McLennon cling to these unverifiable sources that vehemently insist "everyone in the industry knows!" It's as if they need to affirm to themselves that they're ~not crazy~. (for the record: I don't think believing John and Paul were in love/had sex in of itself is crazy) It's just concerning when nobody is asking themselves why these sources who have all this "industry knowledge" are apparently never sharing that knowledge with the people who are actually publishing Beatles books; not even with the authors of the super trashy books; not even as a "source who asked not to be named". No, they only appear to be talking to random frequenters of various internet forums. Like. It just makes me go HMMMMM yknow?

And the other thing is like………… Are we forgetting why we here on tumblr generally agree that John was bi?

The idea that everyone knew about John and Paul being a couple, but they didn't tattle about this to the press because That Would Be Rude! ––– but also they felt going off about John's sexuality in general was actually totally fair game???? How does that make any sense?? It's also like, even if a lot of people still look the other way with regard to John's sexuality (though, less and less, in my observation), that doesn't mean the information hasn't been freely accessible for decades. It begs the question why this isn't a thing for all the McLennon Proof That Totally Exists This One Guy Told Me!!! And authors like Albert Goldman prove that disrupting the Lennon Estate's narrative, the macho image of John, is a lucrative business, specifically talking about his sexuality sells. (sort of off-topic: NGL, I'm always a bit mystified when people on this site seem to… Forget that John/Brian is a MUCH more substantiated theory than John/Paul.)

And this can't possibly all be down to John being dead while Paul is alive. As I said: it's also not like Paul hasn't caught an insane amount of shit over the decades. Guys like Giuliano wrote about him as well.

It's almost like, if Paul is bi, probably very few people know this fact for certain! Wow!

Also re: the song thing. It's just that……… I really like music? For it's own sake y'know. I get sad when 90% of the posts I see about the songs are trying to prove a theory that's much better substantiated by like… quotes than (for the most part, pretty vague) lyrics anyways. And I wouldn't mind all the fun tinhatting (some of which I engage in too!) if there was just more unabashed song loving.

[johns-prince]

Playboy Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono: Published in January 1981 issue, interviewed in September 1980.

I was reading through the 1980 Playboy interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono because I was trying to properly cite a quote a read earlier and I came across the whole ‘’whaddya think of people saying you’re under Yoko’s spell/control?’’ question and the following answer and spiel, but like, reading-reading it...

Maybe it’s because it’s so early and I’ve just woken up and this is what I have decided to immediately read upon, but like can we talk about how John’s incessant need to bring up Paul in just about any and all interviews himself is like, tattling? 

It’s similar to how Paul consistently brings John up in just about any conversation or interview too, but of course John talked in a way that makes me think of a still soured and obsessive ex while Paul talks like a widow carrying on. 

Like I’m not the first to go over this and talk about it and someone has probably done a better analysis of the whole damn interview but I need to talk about it, at least the segments that left my mind screeching to a halt. 

Even if it’s just John being John and never being entirely honest in these things but also being entirely transparent at the same time it’s maddening. 

PLAYBOY: "But what about the charge that John Lennon is under Yoko's spell, under her control?"

LENNON: "Well, that's rubbish, you know. Nobody controls me. I'm uncontrollable. The only one who controls me is me, and that's just barely possible."

PLAYBOY: "Still, many people believe it."

LENNON: "Listen, if somebody's gonna impress me, whether it be a Maharishi or a Yoko Ono, there comes a point when the emperor has no clothes. There comes a point when I will see. So for all you folks out there who think that I'm having the wool pulled over my eyes, well, that's an insult to me. Not that you think less of Yoko, because that's your problem. What I think of her is what counts! Because... fuck you, brother and sister... you don't know what's happening. I'm not here for you. I'm here for me and her and the baby!"

ONO: "Of course, it's a total insult to me..."

LENNON: "Well, you're always insulted, my dear wife. It's natural..."

ONO: "Why should I bother to control anybody?"

LENNON: "She doesn't need me."

ONO: "I have my own life, you know."

LENNON: "She doesn't need a Beatle. Who needs a Beatle?"

ONO: "Do people think I'm that much of a con? John lasted two months with the Maharishi. Two months. I must be the biggest con in the world, because I've been with him 13 years."

LENNON: "But people do say that."

PLAYBOY: "That's our point. Why?"

LENNON: "They want to hold on to something they never had in the first place. Anybody who claims to have some interest in me as an individual artist or even as part of the Beatles has absolutely misunderstood everything I ever said if they can't see why I'm with Yoko. And if they can't see that, they don't see anything. They're just jacking off to... it could be anybody. Mick Jagger or somebody else. Let them go jack off to Mick Jagger, OK? I don't need it."

PLAYBOY: "He'll appreciate that."

John’s talking about Paul, by the by, if that wasn’t already so painfully blatantly obvious. While he couldn’t bring himself to immediately say his name in that context he definitely brings him up in the next response:

LENNON: "I absolutely don't need it. Let them chase Wings. Just forget about me. If that's what you want, go after Paul or Mick. I ain't here for that. If that's not apparent in my past, I'm saying it in black and green, next to all the tits and asses on page 196. Go play with the other boys. Don't bother me. Go play with the Rolling Wings."

PLAYBOY: "Do you..."

LENNON: "No, wait a minute. Let's stay with this a second; sometimes I can't let go of it." (He is on his feet, climbing up the refrigerator) 

This is where it gets good. 

"Nobody ever said anything about Paul's having a spell on me or my having one on Paul! They never thought that was abnormal in those days, two guys together, or four guys together! Why didn't they ever say, 'How come those guys don't split up? I mean, what's going on backstage? What is this Paul and John business? How can they be together so long?' We spent more time together in the early days than John and Yoko: the four of us sleeping in the same room, practically in the same bed, in the same truck, living together night and day, eating, shitting and pissing together! All right? Doing everything together! Nobody said a damn thing about being under a spell. Maybe they said we were under the spell of Brian Epstein or George Martin." (the Beatles' first manager and producer, respectively) 

"There's always somebody who has to be doing something to you. You know, they're congratulating the Stones on being together 112 years. Whoooopee! At least Charlie and Bill still got their families. In the Eighties, they'll be asking, 'Why are those guys still together? Can't they hack it on their own? Why do they have to be surrounded by a gang? Is the little leader scared somebody's gonna knife him in the back?' That's gonna be the question. That's-a-gonna be the question! They're gonna look back at the Beatles and the Stones and all those guys as relics. The days when those bands were just all men will be on the newsreels, you know. They will be showing pictures of the guy with lipstick wriggling his ass and the four guys with the evil black make-up on their eyes trying to look raunchy. That's gonna be the joke in the future, not a couple singing together or living and working together. It's all right when you're 16, 17, 18 to have male companions and idols, OK? It's tribal and it's gang and it's fine. But when it continues and you're still doing it when you're 40, that means you're still 16 in the head."

I had to split his rant into paragraphs because I needed a breath. 

John doesn’t even let the interviewer continue on with a question. No, he just can’t let go of it. He’s so riled up that apparently he’d gotten up and... What, started climbing onto the fridge? Climbing the walls? Is this what happened whenever the topic of Paul and their relationship came up? 

I don’t think this is normal behavior, compared to the other outrageous behavior of John in the 70s and 1980. This is unnecessary, getting so bent out of shape over the fact nobody made a fuss over you and your just best bud partner and collaborator of The Beatles.

>>>“Nobody ever said anything about Paul's having a spell on me or my having one on Paul! They never thought that was abnormal in those days, two guys together...”

John, Paul wasn’t your wife or husband or whatever. You two weren’t exactly dating, you two didn’t suddenly slip into an intimate and scandalous love affair like, overnight. Paul wasn’t yours, legally, John. Not like Cynthia, who was your wife and the mother of your son. Not like Yoko, who is also your wife, and the mother of your son. 

You would get those sorts of questions about them, but instead you’re aghast and affected that it wasn’t Paul about you or you about Paul and your relationship in between being grilled and questioned and torn at by fans and the press. 

What, did you ever expect the press or individual reporters and interviewers to ask you how you and Paul were getting on? When was the wedding? Should they expect triplets in the fall? 

Why would anyone say anything about Paul having a spell on you, or even you having a spell over Paul? John can’t be this stupid, maybe he’s experiencing an emotional break due to even the mention of Paul here, by his own doing, but to say something that shouldn’t even be compared to the relationship you have with your wife, as if people should have been asking you about Paul or Paul about you, about having some sort of spell or hold over each other, because if they didn’t grill Paul or you about the Lennon-McCartney relationship, then clearly Yoko is getting the unfair shtick of it. 

I mean come on. 

>>>“What is this Paul and John business? How can they be together so long?' We spent more time together in the early days than John and Yoko: the four of us sleeping in the same room, practically in the same bed, in the same truck, living together night and day, eating, shitting and pissing together! All right? Doing everything together! Nobody said a damn thing about being under a spell.”

You know, John was just about as guilty using the safe ‘’we’’ over ‘’I’’ or ‘’we as in Paul and I’’ as much as Paul is. Starts off about him and Paul, what’s all this Paul and John business, how can they be together so long, and then brushing it over with ‘’well the four of us--’’ oh no no no John, this is not about the four of you, this is 100% about the two of you, about John and Paul, the Paul and John business. 

Why would anyone ask you two about this John and Paul business- they did ask you John, they asked you two about your musical process, your meeting, how you two do get on as friends and partners, what would you do after The Beatles went bust.

Is the problem that they were asking the wrong questions? Hey, you two are awfully close, I mean, physically, is that common? Is there something about sharing a mic? Can’t you afford another one? Do you and Paul often share a room just between you two? Say, what’s the business between John and Paul? 

What did you want John. No, really. I’m so mad that the interviewer didn’t stick to what John was going off and on about here, because I would really like to know, since John’s so ticked off about it (The Beatles, Paul, his relationship with Paul, Lennon-McCartney) and wanting to be so honest and open about his frustrations surrounding it, I would have loved to know:

What did you want from others when it came to looking at and questioning Lennon-McCartney? What did you want John? 

Also by my calculation, John and Paul were together for about 14 years. Like a year difference... But not getting into the specifics, to John, admittedly, he feels he felt more time and space with Paul (or The Beatles) than John and Yoko. Even if it might be about the same in numbers, to John it isn’t the same at all. 

>>>”There's always somebody who has to be doing something to you. You know, they're congratulating the Stones on being together 112 years. Whoooopee!'”

You ever read something and you can like, hear the intonation and emotion in the words being said? Whooopeee! That’s not condescending in the slightest. I mean I know it’s supposed to be, but can’t you read it as being rather dripping with jealousy? Envy? 

We all know John and Paul during the 60s stated after The Beatles, they would carry on writing songs together, creating together, even looking into writing a musical play of sorts. John and Paul were supposed to be together 112 years, don’cha know. 

>>>”At least Charlie and Bill still got their families. In the Eighties, they'll be asking, 'Why are those guys still together? Can't they hack it on their own? Why do they have to be surrounded by a gang? Is the little leader scared somebody's gonna knife him in the back?”

Projection, I don’t know what else to call this. Projection, and maybe a little bit of that jealousy/envy continued. 

>>>“It's all right when you're 16, 17, 18 to have male companions and idols, OK? It's tribal and it's gang and it's fine. But when it continues and you're still doing it when you're 40, that means you're still 16 in the head.”

By all accounts and pretenses, Paul was your ‘male companion’ and vice versa, or whatever. You two did idolize each other. This went on long past 18 years old between the two of you, John. You were a gang, and a tribe of stupid young boys whirlwinded into fame. It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine until what, it’s not?

My head and heart and everything hurts, reading these interviews. John isn’t honest, he’s a liar, but he’s transparent and still manages to tell on himself. John’s projection launches himself into the sun and back again. 

John compares Paul to his current wife instead of, oh, I dunno, bringing up Cynthia, his wife during The Beatles, when it came to discussing the whole ‘oh does she have a spell/hold over him?’ Wouldn’t she have made a better example of it? You would think, wouldn’t you.

John bitches that the press or fans didn’t treat Paul in the way that they apparently treated Yoko. Why was his first wife treated so much nicer? Why was Paul spared and Yoko isn’t? 

He can’t let it go. He can’t let Paul go. He’s envious, he’s bitter. He’s pathetic, he’s insane, he’s driving me insane. 

Further down, I come across this segment, and I think it’s worth bemoaning over:

PLAYBOY: "Were falling in love with Yoko and wanting to leave the Beatles connected?"

LENNON: "As I said, I had already begun to want to leave, but when I met Yoko is like when you meet your first woman. You leave the guys at the bar. You don't go play football anymore. You don't go play snooker or billiards. Maybe some guys do it on Friday night or something, but once I found the woman, the boys became of no interest whatsoever other than being old school friends. 'Those wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine.' We got married three years later, in 1969. That was the end of the boys. And it just so happened that the boys were well known and weren't just local guys at the bar. Everybody got so upset over it. There was a lot of shit thrown at us. A lot of hateful stuff."

>>>“As I said, I had already begun to want to leave, but when I met Yoko is like when you meet your first woman.”

John you were so desperate for The Beatles that Cynthia at one point had to tell you that maybe John needed them more than they needed him. You were seriously thinking y’all should buy an island to live on together. 

You were not already beginning to leave The Beatles, you lying git. 

>>>“'Those wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine.' We got married three years later, in 1969. That was the end of the boys.”

I will always find it unbearably fascinating that when Paul found Linda, and and John found Yoko, that was it. No one cared when George got married, they didn’t care when Ringo got hitched. John and Paul were still fucking around and bashing away on their instruments and writing music cooped up in Paul’s house when John was with Cynthia, and then married Cynthia and had a child with her. She didn’t break up the band, those wedding bells hadn’t done them in. 

So why is it, when Paul got with Linda, and then immediately afterwards, John married Yoko, did the wedding bells bring about a funeral procession? It wasn’t the end of the boys, John, it was the end of Lennon-McCartney. It was the end of that Paul and John business. 

ONO: "Even now, I just read that Paul said, 'I understand that he wants to be with her, but why does he have to be with her all the time?'"

LENNON: "Yoko, do you still have to carry that cross? That was years ago."

Honestly that’s a laugh coming from you John. Oh, that was years ago, let it go. John you can’t even let IT go yourself! 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Paul had said something like that, whether it was years ago or recently, especially when every time Paul tried getting in contact with John, Yoko would intentionally bar him out and not even tell John about Paul wanting to meet up with him. 

That, and whether Paul had mentioned it or someone close working had mentioned it, during the Let It Be period, Paul did feel like John was with Yoko all the time. It stifled him, it stifled their creative relationship, Paul felt he couldn’t genuinely and openly connect and speak with John with Yoko hanging around every second. 

ONO: "No, no, no. He said it recently. I mean, what happened with John is like, I sort of went to bed with this guy that I liked and suddenly the next morning, I see these three in-laws, standing there."

LENNON: "I've always thought there was this underlying thing in Paul's 'Get Back.' When we were in the studio recording it, every time he sang the line 'Get back to where you once belonged,' he'd look at Yoko."

PLAYBOY: "Are you kidding?"

LENNON: "No. But maybe he'll say I'm paranoid."

It’s alright John, I’m paranoid too because I definitely got that underlying vibe about Get Back and the tension between Paul and Yoko.

Mind you these segments of the interview I’ve gone over, Yoko was present through it all. 

Paul was mentioned 48 times, and this is just the first page of the 1980 Playboy interview. 

I’m gonna go beat my head in with a wooden hammer now.

[myplasticadversary]

Idk if ur into this still but im having more Sheatles universe thoughts inspired by the girl monkees post.

You know how George and Pattie never had children? I think this would have negative consequences on girl George somehow like I think people would speculate on her being infertile and talk about how she’s depriving men of fatherhood and it wouldn’t help that she was already one of the weird girls and people would moralize about how she doesn’t understand the gift that is motherhood a lot, especially if we’re going off the idea of John having Julian and suffering with ppd. Like they’d be pit against each other (“even John settled down!”) or lumped together as failures as women especially in contrast to Paul (and Ringo I think). George also seems the most likely in my eyes to get an abortion but also it’s the 60s so it would probably be very dangerous and would have disastrous consequences media-wise if it ever came out. Thinking of Brian being not very helpful in this scenario because he can’t decide whether he wants to support her decision to get an abortion and help her or if he’s too worried about the media finding out.

I’m not sure if Ringo has Zak in this universe but if she does it makes things even worse for John and George because she’s so maternal. Like behind the scenes I don’t think ringo would actually be that great of a mother especially because I think she’d still have issues with alcoholism, but she’d probably have them more in the “wine mom” sense where people laugh about it and don’t register it as a problem , and her media persona is already the mother of the group so people really don’t recognize any of her issues.

I also think in sheatles universe The Beach Boys should also at least partially be girls. In this universe I think they’d have kept their og name the Pendletones, I also think Brian and Dennis would be the women. Dennis would 100% get the Courtney love treatment she’d be seen as a total bitch hated by the media and given she was the only one actually into surf culture I think this would have a negative impact but I dunno how. Once she dies tho she does have a group of dedicated fans who want to understand her and respect her like how Anna Nicole Smith and Marylin Monroe have now. (Also trying to wrap my head around how girl Dennis dating Mike Loves alleged daughter would have gone. Because it’s important to me that that’s still part of the lore that Dennis was having a possibly incestuous relationship with Mike Loves daughter).

Girl Brian… I’m fascinated with the concept of girl Brian. Brian is already so infantilized by the media (partially his own doing but you know), I believe she’d be fairly heavily put into the “born pretty yesterday” trope by the media. The media would 100% oscillate between praising her genius and making her out to be this totally useless attractive face.

I think she’d technically have her mental issues addressed way earlier than the 70s but it would not be productive at all like instead of getting her schizoaffective disorder treated she’d be labeled as hysterical so fast. Oh my god her body would be commented on so much more; people still give credit to Eugene Landy for “saving Brian” (aka starving him so he was thin) it would be soooo much worse in a universe where Brian is a woman people would be making horrible rumors about her like they did to Cass Elliot. People would be more willing to recognize her as having an eating disorder than they do guy Brian but I don’t think it would garner a lot of respect. I can’t see girl Brian getting pregnant tho probably because I can’t see her dating a 14 (15?) year old especially when Murray was their manager he already smacked them in front of fans he would be so much more controlling if he had daughters.

I do think they would all still be seen as revolutionaries in some ways like I do think Brian would still have an unprecedented amount of control over the studio in the beginning and their harmonies would still be considered great but I’m not sure people would find Brian’s falsetto as impressive if he were a girl. Mike Love wouldn’t have to sue for credits on songs because as a man he’d be seen as way more of a driving force than he’s considered today. When Brian cedes a lot of control post 1967 I think there would be a feeling of like “well she had a good run but now it’s time for a man to do a man’s job and actually run things.” I don’t know if there would be as much of a push for the “Brian is back” campaign in this universe because again they’d think it was time for the boys (in this universe Mike, Carl, Al and I guess Bruce) to step up. I also do enjoy the thought of Brian still writing all those car songs considering it’s such a male dominated interest and I do think there would be some sort of talk amongst guy fans of “wow a woman that shares my interests she’s my dream girl.”

There’s a lot of songs in The Beach Boys catalogue that have been rightfully criticized like “I Wanna Pick You Up” or “Hey Little Tomboy” and I dunno if they would be written if Brian was a woman but if they were it would still be criticized but I think there would be a lot of speculation as well or like, was there some form of sexual abuse going on which in girl Brian’s life I unfortunately think probably would have happened.

I also think the implications of Dr. Landy having so much control over Brian in the 70s and 80s being so so so bad like I just frankly think she’d be taken advantage of even more than male Brian. I’m not sure how Melinda saving Brian would play out.

There’s a part of me that thinks Brian would have ended up with Al Jardine (in which case I think things actually would probably have been way better for her because Al doesn’t have a lot of controversies and seems like a pretty stable guy all around). I can imagine the anger on Murray’s part extremely early years if Brian and Al were like high school sweethearts and it seemed like Al was going to provide a stable life going off to be a dentist and then joined back in the band at the last minute. I actually really like the idea of high school sweethearts girl!Brian and Al. Considering they were “America’s band” there’s a lot of PR that could come from that of this perfect couple playing in a wholesome band where they make songs about going to the county fair together, but then Al would probably be given more credit than he actually had (which was admittedly quite minimal). Meanwhile behind the scenes Brian is losing her mind and Al is just not sure what to do with this new “hysterical” version of her. Oh! It would also make a lot of sense for Brian to constantly take Mike and Al’s side later on with decisions about new managers if she was not only scared of Mike but also siding with her husband.

Ooh I hadn't considered girl Dennis! That does kinda make sense though considering from what I understand Dennis was sort of brought into the group as an afterthought for the sake of including him, and as a girl I'm sure she'd be even more of a black sheep. But then on the other hand she'd probably be the most eye-catching of the group as the "surfer babe" archetype, which means I think they wouldn't want to keep her behind the drums lol. And if she and Brian are both girls that could add another layer to the comfort they find in one another as the trainwrecks of their family, while probably also Dennis envying how Brian gets to be more than just the looks and gets at least some respect as a true artist and musician. I don't know if Murry would still be physically abusive to girl Dennis, but I could see it if she's inclined to instigate trouble, and then there'd be the betrayal from Brian and Audree not sticking up for her more.

(No comment on marrying Mike Love's estranged daughter djgdgj it's so insane to me. I could see there being some element of girl Dennis looking like a pervert cougar though)

So I've got a lot of thoughts about girl Brian (and I want to pause for a second to say that you should totally check out the book "Summer Fun" by Jeanne Thornton, which is a speculative alternate history imagining what if the person in Brian Wilson's position had been a closeted trans woman and it explores her journey of discovery coinciding with their version of Smile as she approaches an ambitious project and intends to come out but gets shut down, and it's really moving and earnest. @telephonicsonnyboy turned me on to it and I appreciate that ❤️) and I'm probably gonna put them below a cut right now!

First off, regarding Marilyn. I've decided not to genderflip her and so instead the dynamic between her and Brian is more that Marilyn admires and wants to emulate her musically and Brian latches onto her as a friend because she has trouble relating to other women her age whose lives seem to revolve around their boyfriends or husbands. And maybe Mike gets a bit annoyed at Brian's fascination with girl groups like, "oh yeah why don't you just go be in one then?"

I have thought about her and Al Jardine, and I do definitely believe that the media would make them out to be this sweet forbidden love story, forbidden because her brothers and Murry would've threatened to kick him out of the band if he ever tried to sleep with her. My thought was that she ends up kissing Al just to get it over with and relieved when the sparks aren't there and they can just be friends, but I also like the idea of him being one of her constant on-off flames.

Now I think of Brian as a lesbian who doesn't realize it for a long time because she figures that as long as she's technically capable of being with a guy her attraction to girls doesn't really matter, and I see her eventually entering a romantic relationship with Melinda and coming to terms with herself having that safe harbor. As for her first husband, I imagine him being sort of a Van Dyke Parks type who sees her potential as a groundbreaking songwriter and briefly becomes her collaborator, and she gets pregnant partially on purpose to get out of the stress of touring and have more time to work on her music at home. Of course this backfires when being a mother turns out very physically and emotionally taxing on her, with her husband not doing much to support her because he doesn't see what he's supposed to do.

Also, for sure Mike would be seen as much more of a legitimate collaborator to Brian (and subsequently get in a big dick competition with her husband), but I think also Carl would be a lot more actively creative early on just due to pressure from Murry like, "if your sister can do it why don't you boys ever show some initiative?" So I think Brian wouldn't have been saddled so much with the responsibility of being the Genius of the band, but her being there and playing and writing her own stuff would be significant enough on its own, and I think she'd get a lot of attention from various counterculture and women's lib groups to mixed effect. There'd definitely be criticism of her more traditional expression of womanhood which would put her on the defensive, but overall the recognition would help a lot to boost her ego at least until her mental collapse.

Landy, right. Oof. For the record, I don't want to openly speculate on what he might've done to real Brian (though I will say there's a non-zero chance, considering that when Landy was under investigation he was apparently found to have had a rape allegation with another patient that he'd settled out of court, and in general he gives me the vibe of a controlling gold-digging spouse), but with girl Brian that's especially likely. And then that in turn makes Melinda all the more empathetic and horrified and righteously angry at Brian's fucked up pseudo-marriage with her doctor.

[midchelle]

What songs do you think were written by John with Paul in mind at least? I know there’s so many of Paul’s which are arguably about John but because John’s life was cut short we only have his songs from the 70’s which seem pretty straightforward in being about Yoko and Jealous Guy seems to be one of those despite Paul thinking otherwise.

There are a few Dakota demos floating around that seem to be about Paul, or at least The Beatles, but I think in general John kept that stuff off his albums. I don't think it was a headspace he enjoyed being in. Paul probably didn't, either, but when he writes a song he enters a fugue state, comes out of it, and examines what he's made like an archaeologist studying the ruins of a prehistoric society: It's possible that this was made in response to An Emotion, but we're not sure. More information is required.

The Beatles A lot of the songs people think are about Paul assume that he's in love with him, and while I might agree with that to some extent, it's not a very good way of doing history. So here's the ones I think are probably about him without assuming that.

Day Tripper (1965) Expanding brain meme where the top tier is 'write a song about how he sucks and make him sing lead on it.' Makes you wish for a world where they stayed together during the seventies and John sang harmony on Too Many People.

Nowhere Man (1965) It's a very Paul kind of songwriting move to write a song about yourself and frame it as 'so there's this other guy I've heard of who's a total fuckup, not me though.' So is it about John? Is it about Paul? Actually, it's about both of them.

These are two different people. And one of them, believe it or not, can't see me at all.

And Your Bird Can Sing (1966) Process of elimination, it's probably about Paul. I know Marianne says it's about Mick, but I don't know if John cared about Mick like that. His bird couldn't even sing at that point. He was still going out with Jean Shrimpton's little sister. There's another theory that it's about Frank Sinatra, which I thought sounded kind of plausible, but it's probably about Paul.

Come Together (1969) You think you're just moseying along this beautiful, lazy river of agreeable nonsense, and then he hits you with 'got to be good looking 'cause he's so hard to see.' Wonder what that's about.

Post-Beatles

I Found Out (1970) It's a song about becoming disillusioned with things you once believed in. Paul is literally mentioned by name.

How Do you Sleep? (1971) Yeah we all know.

Jealous Guy (1971) Maybe it is a little bit about Paul, I don't know. There must be some reason why he thought that song was about him. It could just be cope. There's only one way for us to know for sure: FBI, release the seventies John Lennon wiretaps!

I Know (I Know) (1973) I've already mentioned the riff at the beginning, but let's talk about:

#9 Dream (1974) It's been ten years since The Beatles broke America, and he was referencing back to A Hard Day's Night with the promo for the album. He's clearly feeling a little nostalgic for early Beatlemania, before he was so cruelly forced to learn what money is and how shares work. If not directly about Paul, it is about their shared past. It's about playing music with someone you loved, so long ago. It literally came to him in a dream, the most Paul McCartney songwriting behaviour that there is. Look at this:

(Just Like) Starting Over (1980) Me when I write a song about rekindling a dormant relationship with someone I love while drawing on the artists that influenced me and my songwriting partner when we were young and also name-dropping both his hugely successful second band and one of his songs: it's not about Paul.

[demethinkstoomuch]

NONA SPOILERS: How do you recon, is there anything parallel with Paul and John both being apostle names? Intertextual reference-style, reflecting their roles /functions/something? Pardon me for banging on your door, I have no biblical knowledge at all (wrong religion), so I'm just wondering aloud in the presence of as many possibly interested and knowledgable tumblr personage as I find.

Oh, I don't mind at all! I love the idea of someone to talk to!

As for the apostle parallels/contrasts...I'll be honest, I'm not sure I can make anything out of it; somehow, my education on Christianity kind of didn't really dwell on some of the apostles, which is the flaw of most of it being my choice of topics. But, I was raised Catholic-ish and went to a Jesuit university (it had a good writing program; anyway, about a third of my religious studies requirements were about religious art in India), so let's see what I can do.

My quest here is also probably not helped by the sheer number of contradictory or confused attributions in regards to John specifically; Is the John of the Gospel of John the Apostle? Traditionally, yes, but scholarship these days says "Probably not." Are the Three Epistles of John from John the Apostle? Traditionally, yes, but again, probably not -- though folks do think the three letters were written at least be the same person. Not the same one as wrote the Gospel, but it's at least *A* person. What about the Book of Revelations -- which might be fun to look at to compare, as tales of an apocalypse and all? That's a different guy, who probably was named John, at least, but definitely not the same guy as the others. There's a further John, John the Presbyter, who appears in some fragments and has been traditionally identified with both and/or all of these Johns, as all of these Johns have been with each-other, but we just do not know. Paul isn't completely free of attribution muddles, but there's a bit more of a solid base to work from with him. We can say with solid confidence that he wrote some things we still have copies of, though.

So, it's much harder to say anything about John from an apostle take, because which guy(s) are we counting?

Of course, I think there might be something relevant to be said, if I step away from authorship and look at narrative. John the Apostle is often identified with and referred to as "The Beloved Disciple," the "Disciple Jesus Loved." Which does, to me, evoke the whole "For the world so loved John" bit. John is Traditionally the last apostle to have died, and the only one to have died of natural causes -- in some cases, he's specifically charged with being the one to observe and remember what happened. In a way, I can kind of make a very thin concept of John as a "failed" John the apostle, a Beloved Chosen One gone wrong, the one Charged With Remembering who holds on too tightly. Wouldn't call it a slam dunk of a referential concept, but it's an idea one can play around with, and at least adds just a little spice to the name -- not a lot, the "This is a very generic name" factor still feels the most relevant, but John can have a little multi-interpretation of his name, as a treat for us. If we're then doing a compare and contrast, we've got the notion of Paul as having come to his position through rebirth -- he is blinded by a vision, is healed, and changes his name from "Saul" to "Paul" -- and having come to it later, after Jesus' death: most of his work in the Early Church, at least that which we know of aside from the biography in the book of Acts, is recorded through letters he wrote himself, or were attributed to him (which is a fun little parallel for the heir of the characters most associated with letter-writing, too). Which, if I were making a list of Apostles, would mean I would leave him off of the list. I did not, however, make the list. I'd probably bet, without looking it up, that Paul made the list, or at least extensively influenced it, because his hands are pretty much all over the Early Christian Church. I spent a while trying to wrestle with furnishing this answer with a more thorough looking-over of Paul's writings, writings that are attributed to him, and the influence of both of these on the Church, since there's a good bit of disliking to do there; it mostly is not nearly as good as 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, sadly. But then, between the various constructions and counter-constructions, interpretations and re-interpretations, and then the confusion of attribution in some places, I decided I was in way over my head. Generally not a fan of the Apostle Paul, so in that vein, if we imagine John as a sort of Apostle John, Subverted, I'd hope for a similar subversiveness, but in the opposite direction, out of Our Paul. Which they're already doing, honestly: writing traditionally attributed (but disputed, scholastically) to Paul tends to be the most anti-woman in the New Testament, and his more firmly attributable bits are some favorites for homophobes looking for a bludgeon -- and I don't have to explain why an absolute blender-gender who thinks Mustache Rides Should Be Free subverts that pretty clearly, directly, and decisively by existing. I'm not the only one to point it out, and they're right and they should say it.

[mclennonlgbt]

How did Paul react to John's rejection with songs?

Whether or not traditional Beatles scholars like it, John and Paul didn’t lose their bond in 1968. Their emotions were still hot, albeit more complex, and they reacted to each other. And since they were musicians, the best way was to write songs. John reacting to Paul's behavior with songs is a known case (see: I'm so tired, Jealous guy, Instant Karma ect.). However, little is said about the fact that Paul also responded with music to John's behavior. Today I wanted to focus on how McCartney reacted to Lennon's rejection (not always romantic) because that seems particularly interesting to me.

JUNK

It had been perfectly described by Better than looking at the mirror HERE. Let's look at the 1968 Lennon/McCartney timeline: Mid-February - The Beatles arrive in India. 26th March - Paul leaves. 12th April - John leaves. After that, he's absolutely mentally devastated and overuses drugs. Certainly, there are a lot of reasons for that, the most important being John's mental disorders which are not treated properly. But also, his relationship with Paul seems to be a significant factor. Something wrong happened between them in India. There are quite a few theories. The most popular is Lennon declaring his romantic and/or sexual affection to Paul and Paul rejecting him (and in a way, John himself suggested erotic tension between them). I think it's possible and I name the second thing: Paul leaving India so early. John was in a terrible mental state, he even wanted to kill himself. And most likely McCartney didn't support him, which left Lennon heartbroken and dissapointed (perfectly valid). However, we are also uncertain whether John made it clear to Paul that he needed help. Probably not, because he believed he and Paul were telepathically connected and knew all about each other.

May 11th to May 16th - John and Paul are in New York to promote the Beatles new company, Apple. There are a lot of audio and video footage of them: they gave the interview to US press on 13th May, they appear on Tonight Show, on Apple press conference, and gave the radio interview to Mitchelle Krause which was later aired on the program „Newsfront” (all 4 meetings happened on May 14th). IMO the negative tension between Lennon and McCartney in palpable. John in frustrated and annoyed and Paul seems evasive and like knowing he somehow fucked up. What's more, on the radio interview John seems to be giving a hint about "forbidden love" for which the public is not ready, and we can hear Paul feeling uncomfortable about it. During their stay McCartney meets Linda Eastman, a photographer he talked a year earlier with. On the final day, he invites Linda to go with him and John to the airport. She does it and takes a few photos of them. John later (in 1970) expressed he felt very uncomfortable with Linda's presence.

May 19th - depressed John consumes LSD, has a bad trip and gets together with Yoko (who helps him to "rebuild his ego"): they spend their first night in John's house and record their first avantgarde album. 3 days later they make their 1st public appearance as a couple. 30th is the 1st day of White Album sessions. And it this gap between 16th and 30th May Paul completed "Junk" (which can be heard on Esher demos). As Paul said about the lyrics: "Sounds like one lover saying “bye, bye” and the other plaintively asking “why, why”, even as the junk in the yard demands an explanation for the urge to acquire something – or somebody – new". It's easy to see that Macca was putting his current emotions into a song. With John commiting to a new lover - who he valued so high that they appear publicly, despite having a wife - Paul might feel like a discarded "Junk" and expressed it. I'm not saying it was the only reason for his low frame of mind at the time but clearly one of the most important.

GOODBYE (here's the official version)

The track, written by Paul and performed by Mary Hopkin, was released at March 28th, 1969. As we can read on Wikipedia, "[the song] was written in a great hurry to capitalise on Hopkin's popularity". It means that Paul wrote in probably in March 1969. And you know what also happened in March 1969? Lennon and McCartney's weddings. Paul and Linda got married at March 12th and John and Yoko at March 20th. If someone read Paul's feeling towards John as purely platonic, they would think that Macca started a new family and it had nothing to do with Lennon. But that's not my opinion. And it's not a coincidence that John decided to got married right after Paul (he organised wedding in a hurry). Both men ended the month with a thought: "We have new life partners now". I'm not implying John and Paul were physical lovers (I don't exclude that option tho) but there certainly was some romantic tension and a hope to push their relationship further, at least from John's side, and I suppose partially from Paul's (sometimes I think differently, let's leave that lol). But it didn't happen. So McCartney is writing a farewell song. "Goodbye, my love, goodbye". I linked a demo of this tune, performed by Paul, and it's interesting to hear him singing: "Far away my lover sings a lonely song and calls me to his side".

DEAR FRIEND and LITTLE LAMB DRAGONFLY

In December 1970 John gave an interview to „Rolling Stone” journalist Jan Wenner; the interview later appeared as the book "Lennon Remembers". John spoke in an unpleasant, even brutal way. It’s worth noting that he was then under the influence of Arthur Janov's primal scream therapy. Janov was a homophobe and John took over his language, insulting with homophobic terms e.g. Mick Jagger and Brian Epstein. What’s more, John harshly criticizes Paul and the Beatles (calling them a „myth”). He says that Paul’s  first solo album is „rubbish” and claims that McCartney during Beatle years was a conformist and cared only about the commercial side of songs. Lennon’s complaints are also about Paul being controlling and egoistic.

We can imagine how hurt Paul felt after reading this interview. He was judged very severely: his flaws were exaggerated, and his contribution to the development of the Beatles (e.g. interesting John in the avant-garde or the use of tape loops on "Tomorrow Never Knows") was not even mentioned. It must have been terrible wound and massive rejection of his talent and creativity.

Paul, as usual, poured his emotions into songs. In response to John's poisonous comments, he wrote „Dear Friend”. It’s likely he also wrote "Little Lamb Dragonfly" at the same time (late 1970). Interestingly, Paul decides not to attack Lennon.

In „Dear Friend”, he tries to approach him with understanding. As John's closest friend for many years, Paul knows his insecurities perfectly. He asks: „Are you afraid, or is it true?”. The most interesting line is: „Dear friend, throw the wine, I’m in love with a friend of mine”. It is very puzzling and unclear. Why does Paul use the word "friend" two more times? Maybe he assures John that he is still in love with him? Or maybe there are two friends – John („Dear friend, throw the wine”) and Linda („I’m in love with a friend of mine”)? If the latter interpretation is true, Paul is delicately trying to reassure John that he genuinely loves Linda and his family, so he’s not going to abandon them for John, but they can still be friends. Maybe this is: "We are both happily married and we can maintain platonic relationship”?

IMO "Little Lamb Dragonfly" has darker lyrics and expresses disappointment. „I have no answer to you, little lamb, I can help you out, but I cannot help you in”. Paul sees John as trapped by his negative emotions. As long as he doesn't want to change his attitude, no one else will help him. However, Paul admits that he loves John: „My heart is breaking for you, little lamb”; „Since you’ve gone, I never know, I go on, but I miss you so”. What’s more, McCartney still hopes he and his best friend can reconnect: „You and I still have a way to go”. But for that to happen, both sides have to want it!

„Dear Friend” was released on „Wild Life” album in December 1971. Probably the song influenced John's feelings. Later that month, Paul, Linda, John and Yoko met and agreed that they would no longer argue in public. "Little Lamb Dragonfly" appeared on "Red Rose Speedway" album in April 1973. And that time, John and Paul had a good relationship again.

CALL ME BACK AGAIN

It’s a well-known fact that during „Lost weekend” (John and Yoko’s separation, which covered 18 months between 1973 and 1975) John and Paul re-developed their friendship. They had a jam session in March 1974. Lennon even seriously considered writing songs again with his former partner. Paul also missed his best friend. When John, May Pang, Paul and Linda met in New York in 1975, Macca revealed they are going to New Orleans to record. „We’d like to meet us there”, he told Lennon. John, of course, wanted to go there. He was very excited and wrote the song "Howling at the Moon". Unfortunately, before John and Paul could reconnect, Yoko called and told her husband he could go home now.

It’s obvious that „Call me back again” – a song which appeared on 1975 Wings „Venus and Mars” album – is about that situation. Paul recalls growing up together with John. "Well when I, when I was just a little baby boy / Every night I would call, your number brought me joy" - quite an obvious reference to the teenage years, when John and Paul spent every free moment with each other and loved to talk to each other.

But this song is not nostalgic nor joyful. It expresses desperation and pain.

"I called your house, every night since then / But I ain't never, no no never heard you calling me" - probably a reference to the fact that Yoko was controlling John's contacts with his friends and whenever Paul, Mick Jagger or some other acquaintance tried to contact John by phone, she lied that her husband couldn't come over now. And then, of course, she didn't say anything to him.

"Come on and call me / Ooh boo boo boo babe" - Paul missed John so much! At some concerts, Paul would quietly pronounce his name during the song.

Interestingly, "Call me back again" contains a mellotron that sounds like flutes. Maybe Paul is referring to „Strawberry Fields Forever” intro here???

I know I have only touched on the topic a bit here. I’m aware I have very briefly described the Lennon-McCartney dynamics. Treat this post as a stimulus to your own research! <3

[natromanxoff]

(Translated by translators so obviously, there might be mistakes. You can see the original article in German here)

"We all miss Freddie Mercury"

By Michael Loesl

The album The Cosmos Rocks (Capitol) has just been released. Here, the band combines knowledge of astrophysics, which their guitarist Brian May brings in as a doctoral academic, with the preferences of their new singer for classical blues rock. All too clear echoes of the band Queen of the Seventies and Eighties are avoided as much as possible.

WELT ONLINE: Mr. May, as a doctor of astrophysics, don't you know that the cosmos vibrates rather than rocks?

Brian May: The completion of my doctoral thesis was actually planned for 1970. But then my career in a rock band got in the way. It wasn't until the 2005 tour that I came to give structure to my old notes. Since it seemed a little absurd to all of us that a rock guy like me obtained his doctorate at the age of 60, the tongue-in-cheek title seemed appropriate to the new album.

WELT ONLINE: Isn't it also absurd that two quarters of Queen have retained the band name in a completely different constellation?

Roger Taylor: We have been thinking about exactly this circumstance for a long time. Queen in the true sense of the word can no longer exist without Freddie Mercury and John Deacon. But if we had given ourselves a new name together with Paul Rodgers, our fans would probably still be wondering what the two still active Queen members May and Taylor actually do.

WELT ONLINE: Why is John Deacon no longer there?

May: We sent him the new album, but he didn't respond, which is a good sign. If something does not please him, he will let us know immediately by phone. He lets us grant and speaks to our accountants rather than to us. Presumably, Queen doesn't make sense to him without Freddie.

WELT ONLINE: You actually miss the courage to ridicule on your new album.

Taylor: Of course, because we all miss him. There are no persiflages in it that have partly led to obviously ridiculous things in the past. But I wouldn't call it humorless anyway.

WELT ONLINE: Did Freddie Mercury's singing make the ironic breaks in pompous rock possible in the first place?

Taylor: No one could and cannot place baroque vocal harmonies like him. I think that not only his singing, but his whole personality has triggered a form of artistic risk appetite in us three others. For example, he first gave me the courage to write a song like "Radio Ga Ga", which was originally called "Radio Kacka".

WELT ONLINE: But Queen and Paul Rodgers in the frocks will not be seen?

May: That one can definitely be happy about. Men over 60 in women's clothes cause pain in the eye of the beholder. But seriously: without Freddie we can no longer use certain ingredients of the original Queen cosmos. With Paul Rodgers, however, we can focus more on blues rock, to which Roger and I had dedicated ourselves even before Queen was founded.

Taylor: Ultimately, the new beginning with Paul Rodgers is a risk, because of course we have to prove worthy of the history of our band, but at the same time we have to sound so different that we should not be considered our own cover band.

WELT ONLINE: Why do you, as multimillionaires, still need this balancing act?

May: Good question. When you are 62 years old, like me, you really don't know how much time you have left with your family and you really want to stay at home. But the 16-year-old in me is pushing it outside, to the music and to the audience. It sounds like a cliché, but the passion still forces me to make music in front of other people.

Taylor: For me, it is certainly also the desire to keep value alive in an art form that is becoming more and more worthless because more and more people are frolicking in it without any talent.

WELT ONLINE: You have already dedicated your new single "C-lebrity" to them.

Taylor: The term “celebrity”, which originally implied something like talent, has been completely devalued by people who sleep on talk shows without any talent when they are not scratching their heads. I like vulnerability as a fundamental characteristic of our species. But the openly exposed vulnerability to the greed for the need to be loved at all costs displayed by these modern day "C-lebrities" completely repulses me.

WELT ONLINE: Your former singer has repelled the American Midwest with his leather otherness. Is Paul Rodgers the career saver for Queen in America?

May: Of course, it feels good that we can fill arenas in America again with Paul Rodgers, who is highly regarded by American rock audiences. But America's aversion to Freddie's openly shown gayness, we met with a treat attitude that has done us anything but harm in the rest of the world and from which we in Europe still benefit today.

WELT ONLINE: Who actually belongs to the collecting society Queen?

Taylor: Brian, me and our manager, whose point of view is usually more balanced than ours. We're not trying to plunder our own history in such a way that it looks like it is on sale. On the other hand, we don't even need to, because with the songs “We Will Rock You” and “We Are The Champions” we have created two hymns that are still so popular at sporting events today. So that every ten-year-old can still sing along in 2008.

WELT ONLINE: Then how come you, of all people, as an avowed musical hater, agreed to second part of your Westend box office hit "We Will Rock You"?

Taylor: It's true that musicals are getting on my nerves. Because it often disguises a bad song idea in eleven different variants. I once watched a musical by Lloyd Webber and found it horrifying. I only agreed to our musical because we were able to bring rock into a previously rather lousy theater form. In addition, we retain control over all aspects of the performances. Which guarantees quality.

May: I have less fear of contact with musicals because I'm married to an actress. Ben Elton, our playwright, continued to write the story of Scaramouche and Galileo in the script for the sequel to “We Will Rock You” and when the time is right I would like to turn it into a new musical.

Taylor: I don't like it, but sometimes you get outvoted.

WELT ONLINE: And what should the new musical be called?

May: Isn't that obvious? “The Show Must Go On”, of course.

[thebeatleaesthetic]

Paul McCartney on John Lennon’s Sexuality [Quotes]

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I don't think [the gay claims] are true. John never ever tried anything, I slept with him a million times. I've seen him on tour roaring drunk, out of his mind in the early days before he sobered up and went to rehab. Roaring drunk and it was always with a female, never once [with a man]. If you've got a little gay tendency and you’re roaring drunk I'd have caught him once.

— Paul McCartney (from The Sun)

That was the intimacy we had. We would always be walking in on each other and things. I’d walked in on John and seen a little bottom bobbing up and down with a girl underneath him. It was perfectly normal: you’d go, ‘Oh shit, sorry,’ and back out the room... 

That’s why I’ve always found very strange the theory that John was gay. Because over fifteen years of sharing rooms, sharing our lives, not one of us has an incident to relate of catching John with a boy. I would have thought that kind of thing would be more prevalent, and John’s inhibitions were certainly free when he was drunk.

...

So there was the homosexual thing - I’m not sure John did anything but we certainly gave him a lot of grief when he got back [from Spain with Brian].

...

There has been a suggestion since that John had some homosexual thing with Brian, but I personally doubt it. All the intimate moments we shared were always about girls. 

— Paul McCartney (from The Beatles Anthology book)

The funny thing is when later the rumour came out that John was gay, I said: 'I don't think so.' I mean, I don't know what he did when he went to New York, but certainly not in any of my experiences. We used to sleep together, top and tail it, you know. I always used to say: 'Come on, I would have spotted something here.' But what I spotted was completely the opposite. It was just chicks, chicks, chicks.

— Paul McCartney (from The Guardian 2007 interview with Pete Doherty)

But I--I mean, I hear [Peter Brown] said John Lennon had a gay thing with Brian Epstein when they went to Spain together once.  That's been rumored for years. I mean, was he in the room with them? It's probably just wishful thinking on his part. But I'll tell you what's naughty about it--that John's not here to answer it, and neither is Brian. All that stuff that's written about us, I just hope that people who've sort of heard of our music, vaguely, know what the Beatles, or the ex-Beatles, were--and it wasn't what's been written. I mean, John's time and effort were, in the main, spent on pretty honorable stuff. 

— Paul McCartney (from the Playboy 1984 interview)

I don't actually know the truth of the John [and Brian Epstein relationship] rumor. I mean, all I can ever say about that is that I slept with John a lot just 'cause you--you had to sleep and you know you didn't have, you know, more than one bed. And, um, to my knowledge John was never gay. It might've been--I've suspected that the John thing and Brian was a power play on John. 'Cause John was a very political animal. And John I suspect went away on that, uh, Spanish holiday, wherever it was, number one 'cause nobody went on holiday so anyone--I would've gone. Anyone would've gone. Off a free holiday? You're kidding. Yes! I'm there. Number two, I'm sure John took Brian aside and said "Hey, you wanna deal with this group, I'm the guy you deal with. Okay?" John was that kind of guy. Very sensible, very pragmatic. So I'm sure that was the main reason John went there. Now as to whether there was any sort of gay dalliance or whatever, I don't know. That's--that's--that’s, uh, I can't tell you that... And I say, he never hit on me at all. You know, there was never any question of it at all. And I say, we lived so intimately together that there would've been one evening when he's sort of drunk and so and so and so, would've been in his character to do that...

— Paul McCartney (from the Beatle Stories channel)

I slept in a million hotel rooms, as we all did, with John and there was never any hint that he was gay...

When the group was formed John was a smart cookie. Brian Epstein was going on holiday to Spain and Brian was gay. He invited John along. John, not being stupid, saw his opportunity to impress upon Mr Epstein who was the boss of this group. And I think that's why John went on holiday. And good luck to him, too - he was that kind of guy, he wanted Brian to know who he should listen to in this group, and that was the relationship...

So they say he went on holiday with someone who was known to be gay and therefore he is gay.

— Paul McCartney (from Lennon, Ray Coleman)

I think where [Albert Goldman in his John Lennon biography] started to exaggerate and says that John was possibly homosexual. I think that he throws that in with the truth and it starts to have the same credence as the real truth... But, um, there's a bit about me where John's supposed to come around to my house and put his foot through a picture or something. Well, I mean, it never happened you know. So if one of them never happened it's quite possible that a lot of stuff in the book never happened. And I say, if he’s homosexual, I'd have thought he'd made a pass at me in 20 years, darling!

— Paul McCartney (from The Today Show 1988)

You know, that rumor [about John being gay] came out a long time ago and the thing was, the person that started the rumor or the book that it was in, he didn't know John. Whereas I did. So I--I said to people, you know around about that time, said, "Look. I was on tour with John. I grew up with John. We kind of--we slept in the same bed in hotel rooms. We topped and tailed it like kids do, you know, when you're growing up." And I said, "I never once did I see any hint of that." Now, you know, we spent drunken nights together. I think there would've been a hint. Don't you? Somewhere. If he was gay, I think there would've just been a hint, somewhere. But it was a rumor started, uh, years ago that I--I think is a nice story if you can make it stick, but I don't think it's true.

— Paul McCartney (on The Howard Stern Show)

Stern: Here's what [Philip Norman’s] book claimed: Your sexuality was so powerful over [John], he was so enamored of you, so attracted to you, almost... McCartney: Wow. Stern: ... that you could have your way with him. Not sexually... Quivers: Did you feel a power over him? McCartney: No. Stern: ... that in business. That you had a--that--that he was sort of at your mercy because he was so in love with you. That was the theory in the book. McCartney: Well, you know, I mean I--I like that theory. Stern: Yeah [laughs]. Wish that could've been true. McCartney: No, man. Stern: No, not to have sex, but to be able to control him more because it would've been a little bit easier, business-wise. McCartney: No, but--but Howard, listen man. You can make up theories about anything... I mean, you know, we can make up anything. And that is really, particularly with The Beatles, that is what happens. They just take one tiny fragment of evidence and they blow it up into a book, even.

— Paul McCartney appears on The Howard Stern Show

▬▬▬▬

If I were to insert my own personal take on this...

I think part of the reason Paul is insistent on John’s heterosexuality (other than because he never saw John as gay) is because Paul found Albert Goldman’s, Philip Norman’s and Peter Brown’s biographies ‘trashy’. As he said when speaking about Goldman’s book in 1988: “For me, I just think it’s trash.” The rumors were around before the books’ release, but I think they - particularly Goldman - widely spread the theory among the public and elaborated on it. Paul claims there are lies in the books and he’s commented before that he strongly dislikes when people ‘cash in’ on the Beatle story with made up information. Especially when it was old friends, like Peter Brown.

As far as I can tell, Paul is also a bit protective of John’s image. To quote him from the Today Show: “[John] isn’t here to defend himself. I think that’s the big problem with a book like [Goldman’s]. It’s too cheap a shot, I think.” Remember that this book was released not even ten years after John’s death, when his name must’ve been a hot-ticket, and it’s obvious John wasn’t there to respond to any claims. John used to be asked about his relationship with Brian, denying that anything happened between them. But in these books, it was no longer asking John directly if he were gay; it was speculating that John was gay and strongly suggesting it to the reader. I think Paul feels the need to talk about what John was really like, even clarifying things like John’s flawed nature, or that John wouldn’t have wanted to be a martyr. John’s sexuality is something deeply personal and accusing him of being gay even more so. Paul must see himself as one of the few people who knew John well enough to comment on such personal things like that - which is why he says things like “I mean, was he in the room with them? It's probably just wishful thinking on his part” about Brown writing on John’s trip to Spain. I think he must find spreading rumors like that a bit presumptuous. 

And of course there’s the thought that John might’ve been attracted to Paul himself. I think Paul values his memories of John’s friendship to the highest degree. So, when he hears people turning it into something else entirely, he almost immediately goes “No, no” in very clear and firm terms as he did on The Howard Stern show. 

I know there is a variety of opinions on this subject, but that’s just mine!

[wrestlingisfake]

AEW Fake Rankings, 9/25/2021

Men's singles division - babyfaces

CM Punk

Bryan Danielson

Jon Moxley (GCW world champion)

Chris Jericho

Cody Rhodes

Darby Allin

Christian Cage (Impact men's world champion)

Eddie Kingston

Orange Cassidy

Brian Pillman, Jr.

Men's singles division - heels

Kenny Omega (AEW men's world champion, AAA mega champion)

Miro (AEW TNT champion)

MJF

Malakai Black

Adam Cole

Andrade El Idolo

Matt Hardy

Powerhouse Hobbs

Shawn Spears

Daniel Garcia*

Unranked: Brian Cage, Dante Martin, Dustin Rhodes, Frankie Kazarian, Feugo Del Sol, Jake Hager, John Silver, Lance Archer, Lee Johnson, Matt Sydal, PAC, QT Marshall

* Not listed on official AEW website roster

A big talking point lately is that AEW's roster has gotten pretty huge. One effect of this expansion is that it's a major pain in the ass for me to keep track of all the wrestlers who mainly compete on the YouTube shows. Going forward, I'll be focusing on the performers who have wrestled in the past 30 days on television or pay-per-views.

There's concern that the big stars from other major-league companies (mostly WWE) will crowd out the wrestlers who came up from the minors. That issue became more clear to me when I put together the above list. Twelve of my men's top 20 came to AEW best known for their WWE runs, and Omega made his name in New Japan. So if you expected AEW to be "the best of the rest," you're left with Darby, Eddie, Orange, Pillman, MJF, Hobbs, Garcia, and a bunch of guys in the background.

We'll have to see if this becomes a problem. I'm optimistic that AEW knows what they're doing, and wrestlers will be regularly cycled into and out of the spotlight. But WWE has conditioned wrestling fans to think that if a wrestler only appears on the C-show, then the bookers have totally given up on them. So I don't blame fans for being skeptical that AEW can find a better way. It's on AEW to prove that guys like Brian Cage, Pac, John Silver, Dante Martin, and Lee Johnson will get their day in the sun. And that's not even getting into the dozens of wrestlers that aren't listed above.

Men's tag team division - babyfaces

Lucha Bros. - Rey Fenix & Penta El 0M (AEW tag team champions, AAA tag team champions)

Santana & Ortiz

Jurassic Express - Luchasaurus & Jungle Boy

Evil Uno & Stu Grayson

Chuck Taylor & Wheeler YUTA*

Men's tag team division - heels

The Young Bucks - Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson

Men of the Year - Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky

FTR - Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood

The Butcher & The Blade

Private Party & Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy

2point0 - Matt Lee & Jeff Parker

TH2 - Jack Evans & Angelico

* Not listed on official AEW website roster

At any given time, AEW has about 16-20 active tag teams, but a lot of them are mainly on Dark and Elevation. Limiting the rankings to teams that have been on real TV in the past month gives us just twelve men's teams. Then again, that's still more than you'll see on most other wrestling shows.

I think it's important that three of the heel teams (Butcher/Blade, Quen/Kassidy, Evans/Angelico) are in Matt Hardy's stable, so it feels like Matt is begging for one of those teams to break away and turn face. The Dark Order also features three teams (Uno/Grayson, John Silver/Alex Reynolds, Alan Angels/Preston Vance), but their storyline about internal problems could break up one or more of those pairings, if not the entire faction. Interestingly, they've started to set up a feud between the entire Hardy Family Office and the sort-of reunited Dark Order, which may be where they blow off a lot of these issues.

Women's division - babyfaces

Ruby Soho

Kris Statlander

Thunder Rosa

Anna Jay

Tay Conti

Hikaru Shida

Big Swole

Riho

Red Velvet

Leyla Hirsch

Women's division - heels

Britt Baker (AEW women's world champion)

Jade Cargill

Nyla Rose

The Bunny

Penelope Ford

Jamie Hayter

Abadon

Diamante*

Unranked: Emi Sakura, Kiera Hogan*, KiLynn King*

* Not listed on official AEW website roster

AEW doesn't do a lot of women's matches on Dynamite and Rampage, but because of the battle royale on the 9/4 pay-per-view some of the overlooked ladies managed to make the cut.

We've seen some alliances forming in this division, which has stoked talk of introducing a women's tag team championship. However, it looks like AEW has other plans, involving a new women's TBS title to complement the men's TNT title.

I don't think the women's roster is deep enough to support any new belts. That doesn't mean I don't want a secondary title or a tag title. I do. But I'm not convinced that introducing a new title will commit AEW to actually push more wrestlers and expand the roster. That commitment is what I really want; new belts are just gravy.

Part-time/semi-retired: Chavo Guerrero Jr., Homicide, Karl Anderson (Impact men's tag team champion), Luke Gallows (Impact men's tag team champion), Mark Henry, Minoru Suzuki, Rebel, Sting, Tully Blanchard, Paul Wight

I don't get the impression that Homicide and Suzuki will be sticking around for very long. Aside from them, all AEW is getting from the "forbidden door" these days is Gallows and Anderson, and all they do lately is stand in the back of Kenny Omega's entourage. These crossovers have been fun and all, but they've been more like Green Lantern/Silver Surfer than JLA/Avengers, if you get my drift.

The Dan Lambert/American Top Team storyline appears to be setting up some kind of match involving Junior dos Santos, Jorge Masvidal, Paige VanZant, and a bunch of other MMA jagoffs I can't be bothered to remember. We'll see if that actually happens, or if they just jerk around about it for another two months.

No TV or PPV matches in 30 days: Aaron Solo, Alan Angels, Alex Reynolds, Anthony Bowens, Austin Gunn, Billy Gunn, Colt Cabana, Colten Gunn, Griff Garrison, Joey Janela, Luther, Marko Stunt, Max Caster, Nick Comoroto, Peter Avalon, Preston Vance, Ricky Starks (FTW champion), Shawn Dean, Sonny Kiss, Wardlow

This doesn't include people like Julia Hart and Serpentico, who regularly appear for AEW but aren't on the official roster and apparently aren't under contract. Regardless, this gives you a good sense of which wrestlers would be the "AEW Dark roster," if we treated it like a separate brand or something. It'll be interesting to check in a few months which of these names are still stuck in this category.

No matches in 30 days: Anthony Ogogo, Brandi Rhodes, Brandon Cutler, Christopher Daniels, Leva Bates, Michael Nakazawa, Sammy Guevara, Yuka Sakazaki

As huge as AEW's roster is, it's impressive that only eight wrestlers are listed here. Guevara has a match set for 9/29, and Daniels is doing a little crossover thing on Impact Wrestling. Brandi just got back from maternity leave, and while I assume she plans to get back in the ring, that remains to be seen. As for the others, it's possible some of these people have injuries or are taking time off, and the details just haven't gotten out.

Inactive

Darius Martin (knee - unspecified ACL injury)

Hangman Page (paternity leave)

Kip Sabian (undisclosed injury)

Serena Deeb (left knee - unspecified injury)

Trent Beretta (neck - herniated intervertebral disc)

The big story here is Page, who was being set up for a major run for Kenny Omega only to suddenly lose his title shot and disappear from the show. That left everyone pretty anxious for Page to get back, especially since a wave of big new stars could crowd him out of his spot. I'm sure AEW knows when Hangman is scheduled to return, but there's no way for any of us to figure it out, which is frustrating.

Trent had neck fusion surgery, which has a notoriously slow recovery time; I don't expect him to be on TV until the middle of 2022. I haven't seen any kind of timetable for Sabian or Martin, probably because there are so few details available about the extent of their injuries.

Deeb had knee surgery in March, returned to the ring in May, and went back on the shelf in July. Evidently she came back too soon, and she's still rehabbing the original knee injury. I worry about that kind of thing when I see Britt Baker (or Impact's Chelsea Green) working through a broken wrist.

[blackberry-gingham]

I have a weird thing where I'm quite likely to randomly faint, so could you write about how they'd react? Tysm :)

Oooo like narcolepsy? I remember when I use to be super interested in rare medical conditions, so I actually know a little about that one at least, but sure I can do these!

I'm going to write these as you actually fainted in front of them and they don't know about your condition, instead of them like just reacting to hearing about the info, if that's ok haha.

Sorry for your long wait, but I hope you enjoy!! 💖

---

George

George would be so taken off guard, he'd probably just freeze for a moment or two lol

Of course once he's confirmed that you are indeed unconscious, he'd kinda freak out and jump to action

I could see him doing what everyone in the old timey movies do when someone faints

You know, supports your head, calls your name a few times, gives your cheek a few gentle slaps lol

He just doesn't know what to do!

Although, I think he'd have enough sense together to check if you're breathing properly and all

Assuming that you are, from there he'd move you somewhere more comfortable, like a couch, and try to pull it together

He'd get you some water ready, and watch over you until your awake

After waiting in deathly anxiety, he'd be relieved beyond words when you wake up

Of course then he'd ask what happened and all, but once you explain your condition to him, he'd be alright

Although, he'd want to make sure you're alright still and if there's anything he can do for next time if it happens again

John

As soon as you go down, John freaks out immediately

The poor guy would go full adrenaline mode and rush to your side

He'd also try and shake you awake, but he'd be very rough about it, not as collected as George

I don't think I could see him wasting a second after that though

John would take you straight to the hospital, not wanting to risk a thing

I'm sure you'd be extremely confused and probably a little afraid to wake up in a hospital bed, but have no fear! bc John would be by your side as much as possible

First thing he'd do when you wake up is give you a little squeeze and fill you in on what happened

You'd probably be best to just let him get his nervous energy out, but once he's done and you tell him what's up, he'd come up with a whole other barrage of questions

He wants to know as much as he can about your condition so he can be as helpful as possible

John cares very much for you after all, especially if he's willing to give you a hug like that

You may have to watch tho, as he'll probably try to play nurse maid on you now and then to make sure you don't faint lol

Paul

Oh boy lol, Paul would probably assume you're just messing around at first

"Oh, real funny, but ya can't get me that easy"

Knowing him and his competitiveness, he'd probably also think you're just not going to give up the "unconscious game"

After a while I think he'd get it...

"Alright look now, would you just stop already? I'm bored!"

... Eventually

Depending on how long your bouts of unconsciousness usually last, it's quite possible you could be laying there for the entirety of your spell with Paul none the wiser lmao

And if so, you would have every right to scold him when you wake up

He'd be completely bewildered, but also extremely apologetic!

Once he understands, he swears up and down that he'll do right by you next time

You don't have to worry about him breaking that promise either

Even though you've forgiven him, Paul would be kicking himself ever after for doing such a stupid thing

That's just the perfectionist in him!

Ringo

Oof, poor Ringo would freeze up immediately and go straight into a panic

I'm sure a good portion of time would be eaten up just by him being completely unsure of what to do

He'd at least go to try and wake you up once he's settled himself enough

But when you don't just snap awake, he definitely starts to downward spiral

I'm sure he'd try to call someone for advice, like the other three or your family nor friends

Sort of like Paul, depending on how long you're usually out for, it's quite possible you may wake up by the time Ringo has exhausted his panic drills

Ringo would also be beyond relived to see you up again on your own tho

In fact, he'd probably pull a John and give you a little squeeze

Except that Ringo, would be totally clinging too you, poor guy

He'd calm down a little once you explain, but you may have to go for calming him directly instead

He was really worked up you know!

After all, he doesn't know what he's doing something happened to you

From then on however, he's very sensitive to you and your condition and is equiped with a plan should you go unconscious in front of him again

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 57-61

This is the “Wizardry” arc. 

I don’t know why it just now occurred to me, but there’s more than a hint of the Joker in the Major’s character.   He’s always grinning, and now we have him dancing on a blimp while enemy helicopters are firing on him.

The Doctor shits a brick over this, because the arrival of the Vatican’s 9th Crusade force is the first serious resistance that Millennium has encountered since they invaded London.   He begs the Major to come back inside and move their airship to safety, but the Major is too preoccupied with dancing like a goofball.   Up to this point, the audience must have been eager to see someone take a poke at the Major.  I know I was, if only to see what sort of powers he had.   I mean, he hasn’t aged a day, but he doesn’t seem to be a vampire, so what’s his deal?

But before we can find out, the helicopter that was about to shoot him gets torn apart by magic wires.   Wait... that sounds like...

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNN! 

Yeah, Walter’s switched sides.   He’s also younger-looking too, so this must be what Schrodinger was talking about when he told Zorin that the Major and Doctor had a new “toy”.   They were too busy turning him into a vampire to bother punishing Zorin for disobeying orders.   In the previous chapter, the Major asked about using Walter (without mentioning him by name), and the Doc said something about the rushed nature of the job.    Presumably, the Doctor was doing the artificial vampire treatment on Walter all through the night, while Seras and the Wild Geese were defending the mansion. 

What I’ve never been sure of is whether this was a spur-of-the-moment decision, or if Millennium approached Walter a long time ago, and Walter’s been their mole in Hellsing throughout this entire story.   The Major’s line here seems to suggest this was a long-term plan.    “I had already decided half a century ago.   The Death’s Head [the Nazi SS skull insignia] is a fitting match for the Angel of Death [Walter’s old Hellsing codename].”

But that could just mean the Major thought of the idea way back then.   He saw Walter and Alucard wrecking all his stuff in World War II and thought “This kid would be a good recruit someday!” But when did he make the pitch?   Was it last night?    Before the Valentines’ attack?   Before Arthur Hellsing’s death?   Before the end of the war?

I think it’s reasonable to assume that Walter was on board at least before he parted ways with Integra back in Chapter 39.  The Captain suddenly showed up, and he told Integra to take the car and flee, because he wasn’t sure he could defeat the Captain and he didn’t want her around in case he failed.   But it’s much more likely that he only said this to keep her from finding out that he had a rendezvous with the Major, who arrived soon after.   

Now that I think about it, this may be the only reason the Major sent his troops to capture Integra.   He wasn’t particularly concerned about her, but he knew Walter would be with her, and he wanted to get him to the Doctor as quickly as possible.   This may also be why he ordered Zorin Blitz to hold off on attacking the Hellsing mansion.  If Walter had been inside, Zorin wouldn’t have known about his allegiance, and it’s very likely that one might have killed the other.  

Actually, yeah, this is why the Major fired those rockets on the Hellsing mansion in the first place.   If Walter was there, he would know the attack was coming, and use the attack to cover his departure. Then Zorin probably would have been ordered to give him a lift back to the Doctor.  But Walter wasn’t home, and Zorin didn’t wait for orders, and Seras turned out to be much too powerful for her.  

Wow, this is like peeling an onion.  That must be what the Major meant when he chided Zorin for costing him “precious soldiers.”    Her reckless tactics got her and her company killed, but she might have also wrecked his plans to extract Walter, and it’s only a matter of luck that he happened to be at the naval base instead of the mansion. And we know that Zorin knew nothing about Walter, because Schrodinger only hinted about him without mentioning his name.   If Zorin had known, he would have just said “Yeah, we’re turning Walter into a vampire right now, no thanks to you.”

Anyway, Walter’s betrayal fascinates me, but also fuck you, Walter, you traitorous piece of shit.

Speaking of treachery, the 9th Crusaders are busy shooting the shit out of London, killing anything that survived the previous night.    Millennium is a threat, sure, but Maxwell sees this as an opportunity to conquer England for the Catholic church.    I’m not really sure “conquer” is meant literally.   I think it’s more like, Hellsing and the Iscariot Organization have some treaty, and I think that treaty applies to their respective governments as well, but the civilian governments might know nothing about it.    Maybe?  

What I’m saying is that I think this 9th Crusade is supposed to end with the overthrow of the Anglican Church in the United Kingdom, with a new Catholic-leaning regime in its place, so that the Pope would have the same influence over the U.K. that he apparently has over continental Europe.   

In that sense, I’m pretty sure Hellsing’s version of John Paul II didn’t order Maxwell to gun down civilians and shout “Die did die die!” over a loudspeaker.   He may not have been terribly worried about Protestant casualties, but there’s plenty of Catholics living in London, after all.    Maxwell doesn’t seem to care, and I think it’s clear that he’s exceeding his mandate.   

And Alexander Anderson knows it.   I think the whole Catholic contingent in this story knows that Maxwell’s gone too far, but Anderson’s the only one honest enough to say it out loud.    Anderson’s group is still escorting Integra home when the 9th Crusade attacks, and Integra accuses Maxwell of betraying her, but Anderson remarks that such backstabbing is typical in war.    So it’s not Maxwell’s duplicity that offends him, it’s the way he’s going about it.   When Anderson kills people, he’s doing it to serve God, and God alone.   Maxwell’s not serving God at all.

“All you’re serving is his power!!” Anderson says.    By “his” does Anderson mean Satan?  Millennium?  Mars, the god of war?   Maybe all three, or maybe it doesn’t matter.   I always thought Maxwell was serving his own power, but the point is that he’s not doing God’s will by any stretch of the imagination.

But the others still respect the chain of command.  Archbishop Maxwell is in charge of the 9th Crusade and the Iscariot Organization, and Heinkel reminds Anderson that they were ordered to capture Sir Integra, not escort her home.    So they all draw their guns on Integra, resulting in the most Integra panel ever.

Then Seras shows up and beats all their asses.   Yeaaaaahhhhh!   Seras, you’re doing amazing, sweetie!

Everyone’s like “Oh shit, it’s Seras Victoria!” like they’re gonna try to fight her, but Anderson can tell that Seras is now way out of their league.   Remember, this group of Iscariots fought some Millennium troops and half of them were killed.   Seras tore through about as many Milennium troops without much hassle at all, and that was before she drank Pip’s blood.

And Anderson spares some words of praise for his foe.   I guess this is like the owner of a Ford truck exchanging compliments with the owner of a Chevy truck.    “You’re a rat bastard, Chevy man,” he says, “but those are some fine Truck Nutz” you have dangling from your tow hitch.”  They’re never gonna be pals, but real recognizes real.

Also, I just think Seras looks super extra-cool in this moment.  Anderson kind of treated her like a joke before, but now he sees her as a peer.   She looks so dark and haunted now, and at the same time she’s more comfortable and sure of herself than we’ve ever seen her.    Seras never set out to become a vampire, but she’s still found herself on this path.  It’s scary and beautiful at the same time.

But never MIND that SHIT, here comes...

No, not Maxwell, Alucard is returning!  I just used this page because Maxwell’s reaction to the news is more interesting than gloomy images of a ruined carrier drifting up the Thames river.   

There’s a moment in the Hellsing Ultimate anime, right after Seras and Anderson turn to look, where she’s got this big grin on her face, and she goes “I can feel it.   He’s returning.”  It’s not in the manga, maybe because it’s not that important, but I’m a sucker for any Seras content, and I love that moment because she can sense Alucard at a distance now, and it’s a very pleasant experience.   For Seras, I mean.  I suspect it’s actually a very bonechilling, bloodcurdling sensation, but Seras has gone Full Goth, so she digs that sort of thing now.  

I don’t know how the hell Anderson can sense Alucard, though.   Maybe being a Regenerator gave him super smelling powers, like Wolverine.  

And even the Major is pleased, because now we finally have all the major players in the same city.   Not sure why the Captain rates an appearance here, when he never says a word, but we’ll run with it. 

So, up to now, we’ve had these 9th Crusaders lined up against Millennium soldiers, each cosplaying as troops from old wars.  I guess Millennium’s SS uniforms have hint of legitimacy to them, as these guys really were part of the SS back in World War II, before they became vampires.  But the point stands, they’re walking anachronisms and they know it.  

But then Alucard jumps in between them, practically giddy for a chance to participate in this war.   Not to be outdone, Anderson and the Captain perform similar Iron Man landings on the same street.   When I watched the OVA, this was about the point I started to wonder if I had missed something about the Captain, because this story has been hinting that he’s like Millennium’s strongest guy, and somehow on par with Anderson and Alucard, even though he hasn’t said anything or done anything this entire time.   This would be like if Superman and Goku squared off in the middle of London, and then some rando OC from DeviantArt walked up to join them.   Like, we know Al and we know Andy, but who the hell is this dude?   I don’t care if he can hang with these two, they should have established that earlier.

Al asks for orders, and Integra makes this big production out of “Kill everybody with a racist uniform and a funny accent.”   Okay, fine, but this is a lot of bad guys.   How is even Alucard supposed to take them all down?  And this leads us to Control Art Restriction Level Zero.

I’m just gonna cut to the chase, because this post is running long enough already.  Al used “Level 1″ to make short work of Luke Valentine and Rip van Winkle, and maybe Dandyman as well, I’m not sure.   Recall that nothing could stop Alucard on the H.M.S. Eagle.   The Blackbird crash, the Millennium soldiers, Rip’s magic bullets, none of it.   So he activates “Level 0″, which ought to be even more gonzo overpowered, and starts reciting this alchemical poem which I really out to cover in some other post, and all the bad guys panic and start attacking him. 

To all the smartasses who say “Well why don’t the bad guys attack them during the transformation?” there you go.   AGAIN.   This sort of thing happens a lot more than you’d think, and it never works, because anime/manga creators are more self-aware than you’d think.   It never works, because if it did, then it wouldn’t be “attacking a character in mid-transformation”.  It would just be “killing a guy before he could do his big move.”  So when a character does a big climactic thing like this, there’s really only two options.   1) Have the other characters stand back and watch, or 2) have them TRY to stop it, only to fail, because it’s too late for that.

Anyway, I’m skipping all of that and just showing the end result of Alucard’s power-up.   The bad guys tear his body apart, but it doesnt’ matter because that never worked on him before, and then all these undead men crawl out of the black ether that seems to make up Al’s body.   Just a veritable flood of humans, all washing out of him like a tide of death.  

Anderson starts to figure it out when he recognizes some of the uniforms on these creatures.   And if that’s not enough, Integra explains it for Seras.   When vampires drink blood, they absorb the very essence of the living being who contained it.    “To suck blood is to make the whole existence of a life one’s own.” That’s why Zorin saw Pip’s memories when she tried to read Seras’ mind.   By drinking Pip’s blood, Seras has taken on Pip’s soul as well.   But that’s just one guy.   Alucard’s been drinking blood for over 500 years.   And each one he consumes becomes another soul in his personal army.   

I’m going to guess that Alucard didn’t always have the ability to manifest all of his victims as familiars like this.   Otherwise, how in the hell was Abraham van Helsing able to subdue him a century earlier?   The Hellsing family did stuff to enhance and improve Alucard’s powers, so maybe this was one of them.  They gave him the means to weaponize all of his victims’ souls, for use in large scale battles like this one. 

And I think this might be why Seras is trembling in this scene, because she knows that this ability was passed down to her when Alucard turned her into a vampire.   Or maybe, she’s realizing that she’s got something in common with all of those dead people in Al’s army.   Alucard made her a vampire, sure, but he still drank her blood, so doesn’t that mean there’s a Seras Victoria creature down there, standing alongside all the Janissaries, Wallachians, and everyone else Alucard has consumed?

Something I picked up on was that this is what all of those eyes in Alucard’s design are supposed to represent.   When he used Level 1 you’d see all these eyes staring out from the shadows, and now Level 0 has brought out all these dead people, like they’re the ones the eyes belong to.  Although, most of them don’t actually have eyes, just smoke trailing from their eye sockets.   So maybe that’s symbolic as well.  

There’s also horses in this mess, and that makes me wonder if Alucard drank the horses’ blood along with the riders. Anyway, Archbishop Maxwell observes all of this from his Popemobile and finally confronts the elephant in the room: Alucard is Dracula, like the Dracula.  I don’t think it was ever meant to be a secret, but Kouta Hirano’s been dancing around it this whole time, without ever spelling it out, and now he’s finally spelling it out.  

I think the only one who might not know is Seras?   Someone might have filled her in off-panel, or maybe she figured it out, since it’s not exactly hard, but I don’t know.

So yeah, somewhere in this arc, they do a headcount of all three sides of this thing.  Millennium has “572″ soldiers left, and the 9th Crusade has “2875″, while Hellsing, of course, is down to just 3.  But Alucard has more than evened the playing field, since he can do this trick and spawn an invincible army.   I’m more confused how Millennium lost 428 guys in one night.   Seras killed a lot of them, but not that many. Sir Penwood got some and Anderson killed a bunch of them, but not hundreds of them.  The Crusaders could have taken out that many, but they haven’t been here very long.  

But yeah, they try to form a Phalanx to hold off Alucard’s forces, and it does not work at all.    You can’t kill these things because they’re already dead. right?  I mean, maybe the Crusaders have holy weapons that can destroy these things, but there’s just too many of them.    And the Millennium troops don’t even have holy weapons, so they’re completely fucked.

But what about the helicopters?  Well, Alucard drank the blood of Dandyman and Rip Van Winkle too, and their powers are now a part of him, which makes quick work of nearby aircraft.    I like how these two look the same as before, but they never say a word.   I think they’re the only ones with normal eyes, although Alucard’s shadow tentrils are still fused with their bodies.  

The Crusaders’ battle lines are broken, and they beg for Maxwell to order a retreat before they’re all slaughtered.   But Maxwell refuses to give up.  He’s drunk on his new power, and so he can’t accept that he’s been one-upped so easily.   Then the helicopter carrying his Popetruck gets destroyed, and he somehow crashes without getting hurt.

And now he’s got a front-row seat to the same hell his troops are experiencing, but he still gloats, because somehow Alucard’s soldiers can’t get through the glass.    He refers to “tektite” reinforcement, and that’s dumb because Tektites are just an enemy in the Legend of Zelda.   I’m onto your ass, Hirano. 

But then Anderson throws a knife at the glass, and that breaks it, so maybe it was magic glass that only a blessed weapon could pierce?    All that really matters is that Anderson has finally turned on Maxwell, and Maxwell is doomed.

Alucard’s dead warriors hoist him up on pikes, fitting for Vlad the Impaler, and Maxwell realizes that he’s going to die alone in a foreign land.   The moral is: Don’t start none, won’t be none.

Then this happens, and I’m pretty sure Dark Horse Comics goofed when they scanned this manga for the digital edition.  I’d contact them to complain, but they don’t even sell Hellsing anymore because they lost the license years ago.   I don’t think a lot of stuff happened on Pages 62-63 of Volume 8 of the Hellsing manga, but I can’t tell.  I’m guessing just Maxwell finally succumbing to his injuries while Anderson pontificates about why he had to do it to him.   And really, Anderson hardly needs to explain his actions in this case.   Maxwell sucked.

Moving on, Anderson contacts all Vatican forces and tells them to withdraw.   They can’t beat Alucard, Maxwell is dead, and there’s nothing more they can do here.  However, Anderson chooses to stay behind and take on Alucard.  

This is Anderson’s reasoning: By releasing all of Alucard’s stolen lives to fight as his army, Alucard has left his person vulnerable to attack.  So Andy thinks that if he gets close enough to Alucard, he can finally have a chance to defeat him.   If he’s right, this might be his only chance to try.   

Anderson further speculates that this may have been the Major’s plan from the beginning.   Invade London, force Alucard to use this Level 0 ability, all to leave Alucard vulnerable to assassination.   Perhaps the Major was even counting on Anderson to see this opening and take it.  

More to the point, I think Anderson kind of has to fight Alucard because it’s the only way his people can escape London.  Integra’s orders were clear: None of these invaders leaves the island alive.    Alucard would continue hunting down the Crusaders whether they retreat or fight back, so some force has to stay and keep them occupied to save the rest.  

Anyway, now we get to the actual part with this scene, where Alucard kneels before his master and she welcomes him back.   It’s pretty satisfying to see all these butthole soldiers finally get what’s coming to them.   

I’m just gonna put up the entire reunion moment because it’s so sweet.   Interesting how Seras sort of reverts to her old self when Alucard returns.    For all that badass power she gained from drinking Pip, she’s still uneasy around Alucard.   But he missed her and I think that look on his face tells the whole story.    He of all people can tell that Seras has finally taken the fateful step to becoming a “true vampire”. 

I do think it’s kind of interesting how Seras continues to address Alucard as “Master”.   He promised her way back in Volume 1 that she’d no longer be a servant if she drank blood of her own free will, but maybe it’s more complicated than that.    Or, perhaps she still calls him “Master” out of respect, rather than any sort of blood bond or whatever you want to call it.   It’s like how Anakin continued to call Obi-Wan “Master” in “Revenge of the Sith”, even though he had been promoted to Jedi Knight.   The relationship is still there, even if it’s no longer official.  

I’m a big, dumb Seras fanboy, so you’d better believe I think about this sort of thing a lot.   I’m not real crazy about Alucard/Seras shipping, although I do sort of get it.   I’m really not interested in Seras in some freaky-deaky sex kind of way.    Take the D/s stuff to the Alucard/Integra room where it belongs.   No, there’s something very wholesome between Alucard and Seras, and I could talk about it all damn day.    And why not?  It’s my blog, and I’ve got the time.    So let’s start with--

Um, excuse you?!  

Okay, so Anderson isn’t waiting around to take on Alucard, so I guess we’re doing this now.

And whether or not the Major planned for this to happen, he certainly approves...

[rfamess]

This cured my boredom for a little bit. Was making a few new music playlists and thought.. hmm. I wonder what kind of music the RFA listens to? So, I made this. For no reason at all.

What Kind of Music the RFA + V/Saeran Listen To:

Saeyoung/707:

- (I always see people writing that he’d listen to all star or other cringe meme songs because that’s what seems to be his entire personality, but I like to think he has more substance than that and listens to songs that don’t have to do with memes.)

- He definitely listens to rap/hip-hop.

- Can you not imagine him driving down the road in his cars, windows down, music blasting?

- He listens to his music uber loud in his headphones while working.

- His favorite artist is probably Tyler the creator, i mean, how could you not love him.

- Listens to Mac Miller when he’s sad :(

PLAYLIST:

Who Dat Boy - Tyler the Creator

Stutter - Freddie Dredd

Evil Fantasy - Freddie Dredd

Sweatpants - Childish Gambino

Bounce - Logic

Dead Wrong - Notorious B.I.G.

Movement - Oliver Tree

Stick to Your Guns - Watsky

Both - Gucci Mane

No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Can I Kick It - A Tribe Called Quest

No Limit - G Easy

Circles - Mac Miller

Broke Bitch - TMG (lol)

Bonfire - Childish Gambino

I THINK - Tyler the Creator

Good News - Mac Miller

I - Kendrick Lamar

FACE - Brockhampton

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar

Lovely Things Suite: Knots - Watsky

Zen:

- (Similar to Saeyoung, I don’t believe Zens entire personality revolves around musicals, he probably doesn’t listen to them that often imo.)

- I like to think he’s a... well rounded individual when it comes to music

- Listens to anything and everything.

- I could see him listening to the same music as Seven, but is also very into 70s-90s rock like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like.

- He runs listening to all of his music on shuffle and doesn’t have a specific playlist so there’s never a certain vibe to it— it really is all over the place.

- In addition to Seven’s playlist, here’s Zen’s

PLAYLIST:

Funny Face - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Santeria - Sublime

Badfish - Sublime

The Luck You Got - The High Strung

Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas

Heart of Glass - Blondie

Come as You Are - Nirvana

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Machu Picchu - The Strokes

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Love of Your Life - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Bailee - The Licks

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Hurt Like Mine - The Black Keys

Gap - The Kooks

Give it Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Hoops - The Rubens

Conquest - The White Stripes

Ten Cent Pistol - The Black Keys

Yoosung:

- Yoosung likes more upbeat music, maybe more new age/alternative pop

- Listens to music every time he tries to study, but usually get distracted by it and starts to sing along instead of actually doing his work

- Is probably trying to branch out of his style, Seven and Zen try to convince him to listen to their favorite genres

- The three of them always argue about who has the best taste in music lol

- He’s constantly wondering if his music is “manly” enough (it’s okay yoosung it’s just music)

- If this dude gets drunk and hears any of this music he goes absolutely wild and dances all over the place

PLAYLIST:

Bambi - Hippocampus

Turn - the Wombats

Paris - Magic Man

Chronic Sunshine - Cosmo Pike

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Brazil - Declan McKenna

Unbelievers - Vampire Weekend

Baseball - Hippocampus

Australia - The Shins

Prune, You Talk Funny - Gus Dapperton

Honeypie - JAWNY

Alien Boy - Oliver Tree

Satellite - Guster

So Young - Portugal. The Man

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Circles - Post Malone

Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

Tiny Umbrella - Coast Modern

Way it Goes - Hippocampus

Electric Feel - MGMT

Jumin:

- this guy has 2 modes and that’s it: classical bitch or music that has words

- He appreciates the fine art of classical music and listens to it when he has work to get done or when he’s trying to relax.

- If he’s in a good mood he’ll put on a playlist that includes “music with actual lyrics!”

- It’s a dad playlist. Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Beatles, Billy Joel.

- He likes Billy Joel. Jumin has a dad personality you can’t convince me otherwise lol

- He tried to branch out but can get very picky in his interests. “I don’t like this guitar riff— change it”

- Either way his 2 modes are apparent in his playlists

PLAYLIST:

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

California Dreamin’ - The Mamas and the Papas

Don’t Ask Me Why - Billy Joel

Starman - David Bowie

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Movin’ Out - Billy Joel

A Horse With No Name - America

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Honky Cat - Elton John

Vienna - Billy Joel

The Stranger - Billy Joel

Waltz in A Minor - Chopin

Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Brahms

Waltz No. 7 in C Sharp Minor, Op. 64, No. 2 - Chopin

Souvenir de Paganini - Chopin

Solfeggietto in C Minor - Bach

Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32, No. 10 - Rachmaninoff

IV. Allegro Molto From Quartet - Yo-Yo Ma

La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin - Debussy

Porz Goret - Yann Tiersen

Carnival of the Animals: VII. Aquarium - Camille Saint-Saëns

Carnival of the Animals: XIII. The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Jaehee:

- We all know her obsession with Musicals (specifically zens)

- Other than this she listens to...well honestly I don’t know

- Her music doubles as something she can get hyped up with and something she can listen to to relax.

- She loves to dance, so a lot of her songs and just songs that she’ll never be able to refuse to move her feet to!

- She likes the old classics and then she likes Doja Cat. Lizzo? Queen.

- She’s a barb let’s be real please. you can never convince me that she’s not

PLAYLIST:

Adore You - Harry Styles

She - Harry Styles

Call Me - Blondie

Starships - Nicki Minaj

Hey Mickey - Toni Basil

Juice - Lizzo

Say So - Doja Cat

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (LOL the memories associated with this song after Killing Stalking..... hahahaha BUT ITS STILL A GREAT SONG!)

Only - Nicki Minaj

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj

Woman - Harry Styles

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

Blame it on the Boogie - Michael Jackson

One Way or Another - Blondie

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

V:

- indie boy indie boy indie boy indie boy

- Cmon just look at him he’s an indie boy

- If you’ve ever met a film student that gatekeeps music, they have the same exact taste but V won’t say shit to make you feel stupid. It’s just music bruv

- If you’ve ever been to an indie concert you know the fuckin dance you know what I’m talking about. he does that.

- Rolls a joint, pops the music off and he paints, does photography, whatever. Either way he straight vibes every single time the tunes come on.

- Low key thinks he has the best music taste. that’s just how dem indie kids roll let’s be real here.

- For some reason knows everything about every type of music. will spew facts about artists and songs at random

PLAYLIST:

Shuggie - Foxygen

Necessary Evil - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Homage - Mild High Club

Another One - Mac DeMarco

Plants - Crumb

What Once Was - Her’s

Heart and My Car - Summer Salt

Cottage Roads - The Walters

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Work This Time - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Like Yesterday - Paul Cherry

Call it Fate, Call it Karma - The Strokes

Knowhere - Nick DeLaurentis

Escargot Blues - Guantánamo Bay Surf Club

A Side / B Side - Tipling Rock

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

That I Miss You - Vansire

Top Tier Love - Lonely Benson

Driving to Hawaii - Summer Salt

Taking Up Space - Mustard Service

She’s the Only One - King Guru

Saeran:

- emo boy emo boy emo boy

- We all know it

- As much as I’d love to say he listens to heavy death metal, there’s a part of my mind saying NO he’s not like that.

- Well he is, but he’s got more than a few single interest

- Probably listens to Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, anything similar

- Is always trying to listen to new music

- Kind of sick of Seven blasting his music all the time and listens to the opposite of hip hop whenever possible

- Honestly enjoys all types of music, but sticks to his favorites

PLAYLIST:

- All Apologies - Nirvana

- Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

- Soma - The Strokes

- Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

- Hysteria - Muse

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

- I Got Mine - The Black Keys

- Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Back Against the Wall - Cage the Elephant

- Creep - Radiohead

- Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

- Demon Days - Gorillaz

- Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine

- Matador - The Buttertones

- Holiday - Green Day

- RIP - The Licks

- London Calling - The Clash

- Loser - Beck

- What I Got - Sublime

[aion-rsa]

Midnight Mass Cast: Previous Credits From Hill House to Bly Manor, Legion & Sherlock

https://ift.tt/3zyXTIl

If you find yourself thinking ‘where have I seen that guy before?’ while watching a Mike Flanagan show or film, the answer may well be ‘in another Mike Flanagan show or film’. The horror writer-director is known for his rep company of actors, many of whom appear in multiple roles across various projects. Below is a spoiler-free rundown of the main players in the Flanagan gang’s new Netflix horror series Midnight Mass, about the ripples caused by the arrival of a mysterious priest in a remote North American island community. There’s also info on who they played in past collaborations, and a few other places you may have encountered them on screen. A good handful will additionally be seen in Flanagan’s next series The Midnight Club, on which filming is already complete, and which will be coming to Netflix next year. But first though, welcome to Crockett Island. Be not afraid…

Hamish Linklater – Father Paul

A newcomer to the Mike Flanagan acting family, Hamish Linklater is now fully ensconced so expect to see much more of him in future and rejoice, because he’s the absolute stand-out in Midnight Mass. Commanding, charismatic, intense, and utterly committed, this is a big performance that’ll be hard to forget. Previous to Father Paul, Linklater played Division 3 Agent Clark Debussy in trippy comic book series Legion, and IRS agent Larue Dollard in Fargo season three, both for Noah Hawley. Prior to that were recurring roles in sitcoms The Crazy Ones and The New Adventures of Old Christine, with Robin Williams and Julia Louis Dreyfus respectively, plus recent Amazon crime thriller Tell Me Your Secrets, with his partner Lily Rabe. Honestly though, Father Paul is the only role anybody’s going to be talking about for a good while yet.

Samantha Sloyan as Bev Keane

The villainous Bev Keane is another stand-out performance in Midnight Mass thanks to Samantha Sloyan, whom you might remember as Leigh Crain, the wife of novelist Steven Crain in 2019’s The Haunting of Hill House. Prior to that, she played Maddie’s neighbour Sarah in Mike Flanagan’s Hush, as well as the recurring roles of Jeannine Locke in Scandal, Dr. Penelope Blake in Grey’s Anatomy, and several appearances as Victoria in SEAL Team. Look out for her among the cast of Flanagan’s next Netflix series, The Midnight Club, which is already in post-production.

Kate Siegel as Erin Greene

Where would a Mike Flanagan project be without regular collaborator (and wife) writer-actor Kate Siegel? We barely have to know because Siegel is a bedrock of the Flanagan collective. In addition to the role of schoolteacher and former runaway Erin Greene in Midnight Mass, she played glove-wearing empath Theodora Craine in The Haunting of Hill House, 17th century Viola (who became the Lady in the Lake) in The Haunting of Bly Manor, Sally in Gerald’s Game, Jenny in Ouija: Origin of Evil, Maddie in Hush (which Siegel co-wrote) and Marisol in Oculus. Siegel wasn’t in Doctor Sleep, possibly because she and Flanagan welcomed their daughter Theodora to the world almost exactly to the day filming wrapped on The Shining sequel.

Zach Gilford as Riley Flynn

In Midnight Mass, Zach Gilford plays Riley Flynn, whose return to his Crockett Island family home coincides with the arrival of the mysterious new priest Father Paul. Gilford’s known to many as sensitive young quarterback Matt Saracen in Friday Night Lights, but he’s appeared in plenty since, recently including Greg in NBC’s Good Girls, Ben in LA’s Finest, a central role in The Purge: Anarchy and recurring parts in ABC series The Family and Off the Map. He’s also going to be back for Mike Flanagan’s next Netflix project The Midnight Club.

Annabeth Gish as Dr Sarah Gunning

Sarah Gunning is Crockett Island’s resident doctor who’s caring for her dementia-suffering elderly mother. She’s played by Annabeth Gish, who you’ll have seen in… well, loads of stuff, including The Haunting of Hill House in which she played housekeeper Mrs Dudley. Gish also played Jed Bartlet’s eldest daughter in The West Wing, Lt. Jarry in Sons of Anarchy season seven, the therapist in Pretty Little Liars, venture capitalist Diane Gould in season three of Halt and Catch Fire, and FBI agent Reyes in The X-Files revived seasons.

Read more

TV

Midnight Mass: Cast and Details for Netflix Series from Haunting of Hill House Team

By Joseph Baxter

Movies

Doctor Sleep Director Mike Flanagan on the Possibility of The Shining 3

By John Saavedra

Rahul Kohli as Sheriff Hassan

British actor Rahul Kohli plays Crockett Island lawman Sheriff Hassan, following up his role as the internet’s boyfriend, chef Owen in The Haunting of Bly Manor in 2020. Prior to that, Kohli was best known for playing Ravi Chakrabarti on iZombie, popping up in a couple of episodes of Supergirl and recently voicing The Scarecrow on animated series Harley Quinn. He’ll soon be heard as the voice of Egill in Zack Snyder’s Norse mythology-inspired anime Twilight of the Gods.

Kristin Lehman and Henry Thomas as Annie and Ed Flynn

Here’s a fun fact: Kristin Lehman and Henry Thomas, who play Riley Flynn’s parents in Midnight Mass, are only 10 years older than actor Zach Gilford in real life. Another fun, but extremely well-known fact is that Henry Thomas, who played Hugh Crain in The Haunting of Hill House and Henry Wingrave in The Haunting of Bly Manor, started out as young Elliott in E.T. Thomas is a regular Flanagan collaborator and has also popped up in Doctor Sleep, Gerald’s Game, Ouija: Origin of Evil to name but a few. He recently had recurring roles on Stargirl and Better Things. Canadian actor Lehman has a similarly full back catalogue, featuring a great many TV and film roles from The Outer Limits to Altered Carbon and The Killing, as well as several TV directing credits.

Robert Longstreet as Joe Collie

Crockett Island’s town drunk Joe Collie is played by Robert Longstreet, who appeared opposite Annabeth Gish (see above) as caretaker Mr Dudley in The Haunting of Hill House, and in the Mike Flanagan-directed Doctor Sleep. You can also see him in horror sequel Halloween Kills and as Professor James in Aquaman, and he’s part of the cast of Mike Flanagan’s forthcoming Netflix horror series The Midnight Club.

Michael Trucco & Annarah Cymone as Wade and Leeza

Michael Trucco and Crystal Balint (not pictured) play Wade and Dolly Scarborough, parents of Leeza (above), Crockett Island’s sole devout teenager played by Annarah Cymone. Trucco will still be best recognised around these parts as Samuel Anders in Battlestar Galactica, but he’s done plenty more, including recurring roles in One Tree Hill, How I Met Your Mother and Netflix stoner comedy Disjointed. Balint has a similarly full back catalogue, with roles in Prison Break, The Bletchley Circle: San Francisco and recently Riverdale. She’ll be seen again in The Midnight Club too, along with Cymone, the actor who plays her daughter in Midnight Mass, whose TV debut this marks.

Louis Oliver, Igby Rigney and Rahul Abburi as Ooker, Warren and Ali

It’s unlikely you’ll recognise Louis Oliver, who plays teenage altar boy Ooker on Midnight Mass, from his first screen role as he’s grown up since then, but he was the young Sherlock Holmes in BBC episode ‘His Last Vow‘ (and also happens to be the son of Sherlock co-creator Steven Moffat and producer Sue Vertue). Igby Rigney, who plays Riley’s younger brother Warren, played the young Jesse in the recent film F9: The Fast Saga and will also be appearing in The Midnight Club. Sheriff’s son Ali is Rahul Abburi’s second TV role after appearing on YouTube Red series Good Game.

Matt Biedel as Sturge

Crockett Island resident and Bev Keane’s right-hand man Sturge is played by Matt Biedel (a little unrecognisable under a full and healthy beard), who’ll also star in The Midnight Club next year. Biedel is probably best known for playing Daryl in Narcos: Mexico, Sgt. Dale Chedder in The Umbrella Academy and Dimi in Altered Carbon.

Alex Essoe

Another Mike Flanagan rep company member, popular horror movie regular Alex Essoe played Charlotte Wingrave, mother to Flora and Miles in The Haunting of Bly Manor, and the Flapper ghost in The Haunting of Hill House, as well as playing Wendy Torrance in Doctor Sleep, a role made famous by Shelley Duvall in The Shining.

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Midnight Mass comes to Netflix on Friday the 24th of September.

The post Midnight Mass Cast: Previous Credits From Hill House to Bly Manor, Legion & Sherlock appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[paulsmashedpotato]

Do you make The beatles fanfics? If yes, can you make one with Paul for me, where y/n has a huge crush on him and all the other beatles know except him because he's always been oblivious? I would like to read it hiihi. You can decide how it ends. Thank you so much!

Thank you for this idea! It's really cute! I'll try my best to write it as good as I can :-))

Masterlist

Midnight

Pairing: Paul McCartney x reader

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: None that I could think of :-))

Summary: The request is the summary :-)) But to elaborate, y/n has been working as the secretary for the band and she became really close friends with the boys over the course — she had a huge crush on Paul which he was very oblivious about.

Year: Mid-60s

You’ve been friends with The Beatles since you started working in their team two years ago as a secretary and you’re usually the one that talks to the press during cancellations when the manager and the band cannot. It wasn’t entirely hard working with the boys, they’re well behaved — well sometimes. Okay fine, not that behaved but they were still a bunch of nice-sometimes-immature-but-funny boys.

You were in a small two-storey cottage where the band hangs out when they feel like taking a break — also to write songs for a new album. You didn’t really need to be around since it was just a casual hang out and didn’t need a professional aura but since they’re really good friends with you, they always tag you along in their plans which you are forever grateful for. You really enjoyed spending time with them and just watching them fool around the place. 

“Come on, just admit it already," John pushily says, puffing his smoke to the other direction — he knew how much you hated the smell so he’d blow it as far from you as possible. “Admit what?” You asked innocently, like as if you didn’t know what he was talking about. He started picking up on your huge crush for Paul, saying he’s known since the first year and he just didn’t want to pressure you into admitting — but now he says it’s been long enough and he was assuming you’ve already gathered enough confidence. “Your big fat crush over —” 

“Did you really call me up here just to talk to me about this?” You butt in before he could even mention the name. You were both seated on the lounge chair out the cottage’s terrace, relaxing under the almost setting sun. The sky was painted with colours of golden orange and splashes of pink were also vivid. The wind wasn’t too harsh, it was just perfect and relaxing.

“Yeah, today’s the only time I can help you out on your crush problem. Tomorrow, we might start writing all day again," he said, finally putting the cigar out on the ash tray. “I have no idea what you’re talking about John," you said, sighing as you got up. “I’m going back in.”

“Maybe you’ll know what I’m talking about if I went into details,” he said, almost in a jokingly-threatening manner, you squinted at him; you weren’t going to give in to his dirty tricks, he’s just saying that, you thought, turning around again, what details is he even talking about? Pfft. You mentally scoffed.

“Like that one time you were taking pictures of him while he was writing, took a bunch, by the way. God, if I just get my hands on that camera I’d be RICH in proofs!” You turned around, sending him a glare. ”You are nosy!” 

“A little, yeah,” he laughed, standing up and putting his heavy arm over your shoulders. “Just tell him already! I’m helping you out here, y/n.”

You were about to say something when both George and Ringo walked in. “Tell whom what?” George asked curiously. You immediately looked at John, who seemed really excited to tell. “Don’t you dare —”

“Let us in on the secret,” George frowned. “Come on, not fair.”

“There are no secrets, George, John’s just playing around —”

“She likes Paul,” John said nonchalantly and a little too loud. You kicked his shin causing him to yelp and curl trying to rub it to stop hurting. “Stop spreading fake news, you a —” 

“I knew it!” George beamed, causing John to laugh. “See, you’re obvious.”

You just sighed, giving up and plopping back down on the lounger, there’s no point denying it to them — you guess you were pretty obvious sometimes. You would always stay up late whenever Paul does just so he won’t be alone, you’d hug him more than you did the other guys, and you loved taking photographs of him — not as creepy as it sounds. “If it were that obvious, how come he’s never said anything about it?”

“You know Paul’s a bit... dumb sometimes," George says, making you chortle. “No, he’s not.”

He nodded his head defensively, putting both hands up in mock surrender. “Oblivious, I mean.”

“Very," John added. “I mean, I think he had every reason to, you also hug the three of us all the time, you bring us same amount of foods and drinks, you complimented all of us often — he’s probably thinking you’re just doing your job.”

“I hug him twice as much,” you muttered sulkingly, your eyes closed and your arms crossed against your chest. “Doesn’t matter, it’s just a small crush. Not really expecting anything,” you lied. You knew you wanted to at least have something more with Paul. Even for a while, see if it works out. “Just try telling him.”

“Can’t, George. I can’t just throw all my cards on the table like that,” 

“You’ve been throwing one card a day since the first time, bird. You’ve long ran out,” John said matter-of-factly. You just groaned. “Whatever. I just want to keep it professional. My contract with you guys is ending in a few weeks anyway.”

“Aren’t you renewing?” Ringo asked, you opened your eyes to look at him, he looked sad. Ringo was the calmest out of the four (Although he can be a bit talkative too unlike George who's really quiet) and he’s treated you like a little sister since the beginning, he’d say ‘your brother is lucky to have you' with a matching ruffling of the hair.

“I don’t know," you mumbled, closing your eyes again. “If it’s about Paul —” 

“It’s not, it’s not. I just... really have a long list of other things I want to do.”

“Like what?”

“Like Paul," you cockily joked and they all turned away with a stifled laugh. “Kidding, I’m kid —”

“What about me?” You froze when you heard Paul’s voice, he was walking towards the rest of you, a glass of whatever alcohol is in his hand. The other three fell silent and they were sharing awkward glances with each other. You mentally groaned, can’t they be any more fucking obvious?

“What were you guys talking about?” Paul asked again after a few minutes of silence and just awkward glances while you were seated, frozen. “Y/n’s contract is ending and she said she’s not getting it renewed," Ringo said, carefully lifting himself up to sit on the barricade.

“Oh.”

Oh? That’s all the reaction I’m gonna get from Paul while I got sad looks from the other three?

“Yeah, oh.” you sarcastically repeated, you were a bit disappointed with the reaction. John immediately noticed, getting up, walking towards the door back inside the cottage. “Help me with something, y/n?” He called, you looked at him, nodding and getting off the lounger, you walked past Paul, your shoulder hitting him. You lazily apologized, not looking at him. 

John walked you to your room, he was seating on the edge of your bed while you were lied down, your pillow over your face. “Y’alright?” He finally asked after debating about it in his head, he didn’t want to trigger your tears but he also wanted to make sure. “Yeah, yeah," you spoke sotto voce, the pillow still on your face. “I mean, it’s not a big deal. He doesn’t really need to care, it’s not like I do. I could care less about Paul —”

“Don’t lie, it just makes it harder, y/n," he murmured, you stopped rambling, sitting up and putting the pillow on your back. “You’re right, who am I kidding? God, I care about him so much, his opinions and all that — getting an oh is just... disappointing.”

“Come on, you know Paul better, he’s not very open about his feelings. Who knows, he may be disappointed as well, just not showing it. He tends to avoid attachments," John explained, you just weakly smiled, bringing up your legs to your chest and resting your chin on your knees. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

The night still went on pretty smoothly, you were keeping distance from Paul, hoping it’d make you like him less if you just stay away for a bit. You thought you were just liking him because you’re spending a lot of time with him.

“S’fine,” you smiled, not looking at him, “What are you doing still up?” 

It was already midnight and you couldn’t sleep so you decided to go out the terrace, seating on the barricade with your feet dangling down. You were just looking at the bright, silver moon. “I didn’t know it was a full moon tonight,” you mumbled to yourself.

“Me neither.”

The very familiar and your favourite voice startled you and luckily, he was able to grab on to you immediately. “Careful, you’re gonna fall,” he says, finally letting go of you so he could jump up the barricade as well to seat beside you. “Sorry, I startled you.” 

“I should also be asking you that,” he said, you see him looking at you through your peripheral vision. You were trying so hard not to look at him, you’re scared it will just give away all that you’re thinking about at the moment.

You looked back up to the moon, silence engulfing the two of you. The only thing you could hear was the cold wind that was brushing against your skins and each other’s quiet breathing. 

“Can’t sleep,” you replied, putting your hands down against the cement to prop your shoulders higher. “I can’t too."

You finally turned your head to him, he was looking at his hands. “Do you want me to make you tea?” You asked and he just shook his head.

“I was actually thinking about something,” he finally said. You relaxed your shoulders, putting your hands on your lap. “What about?” 

“Just... are you really not going to renew your contract?” He asked, looking at you, his voice sounded miserable than it did when he reacted with an oh a while ago. “I don’t know, Paul,” you sighed. “I really don’t know, there’s really no reason to renew —”

“Are we not enough reason for you to stay and want to renew? John? Ringo? George?” He asked. He sounded a bit hurt. “No —” 

“No?”

“No. No, I mean — no, that’s not what I meant —”

“Then what do you mean?”

“God, let me finish, hush,” you said, making him break into a fit of laughter. You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “It’s just really hard to explain, Paul. I don’t think I’m always going to have that emotional capacity to take care of you, guys —” And watch you flirt with fans all the time or random chicks at the bar. It’s... not making my life any better.

“Are we giving you a hard time?” He asked, you shook your head with a silent snort. “Sometimes, yeah, I mean, John’s always playing around, George would need food every second to function, you’re always all over the place. Ringo was the only break I ever really had — sometimes George too when he's not in the mood to talk,” you laughed. “But I enjoyed it. So, so much. I enjoyed being with you... guys. With you guys." You cleared your throat.

“Then stay.” 

You were going to say something but it escaped your mind, looking at him sadly, you smiled. “I’ll think about it, Paul.”

He didn’t say anything. You fell into another deafening silence, it was getting even colder, he must’ve noticed you shiver a bit so he moved a bit closer, taking your hands and wrapping it with his and pinning it between his thighs. You just looked at him do what he was doing. You didn’t want to give anything meanings as you didn’t want to keep your hopes up. He’s just being nice. You thought, your eyes glued on both your hands. 

“You didn’t talk to me much tonight, are you okay?”

You nodded hesitantly, he didn’t say anything back.

Another long silence.

“I’m just gonna throw it out there, I like you, Paul," you finally said after rehearsing it over and over again in your head. You had nothing to lose anymore, the contract’s ending anyway so if it turned out awkward, you’d only have a few weeks to endure until you never see him again. You were too afraid to look at his reaction, so you kept your eyes on your hands. 

You looked at him when you heard him let out a quiet laugh, you nudged him with your shoulder. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m being serious.”

“I know, but — why did you just tell me that now?” He asked. “It was risky. Too risky. But since my contract’s ending soon, I couldn’t care less anymore. Just thought you should at least know before I leave,” you sadly said, it was sincere and vehement. “You’re a really, really, really great person and I admire you a lot.”

“You could’ve told me that sooner, been waiting to hear it since last year." He shrugged.

“What?” Was all that came out your mouth — is he saying he knew? Does that mean he likes me back? What is happening? What is he talking about? Multiple questions came rumbling into your mind. “I always thought you were just being nice because you are, not just to me. But I had this little hope that you liked me more because... well, you hugged me a bit longer than you did with the rest. It’s just one small thing but that extra three seconds really meant a lot to me and I gave meaning to it.”

You just looked at him, not really knowing what to say, you were overwhelming with joy, fear that it’s a dream, confusion, questions, but mostly with joy. He leaned in a little closer and you started to feel heat rush up to your face, the warmth of his breath was all you could feel. He freed his other hand to cup your face, pulling you closer, your noses were basically touching. You were just waiting for him to do it but part of you is thinking he’s gonna pull back and say it was a joke and then laugh at you — you’d be ready to jump off by then.

“Is it okay?” He asked, his voice was barely above a whisper. You took your hand up to his nape, initiating the kiss. It wasn’t aggressive, hungry, or the like, it was sweet and longing. Like something you both have been waiting to do for so long — neither just had the confidence to admit. 

You wondered what stars aligned tonight for you to have the confidence to admit and him saying he liked you back — and getting a kiss — all at the same night. You couldn’t think of any other explanations — all possible constellations must’ve been made.

Random pic bc he looks cute here. :-))

This was requested three weeks ago, I think? Forgive me, yes? :-))

---

Let's be mutuals please!

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the members of led zeppelin (kind of)

a disclaimer before anyone starts reading: we all know led zeppelin is shady as hell and we hardly ever get anything confirmed or denied around here. so some stuff is up for speculation. everything in this post are things i've read in books, heard in interviews, or got from some other source. when it comes to “facts about led zeppelin” sometimes you gotta take it with a grain of salt. but honestly it’s led zeppelin we’re talking about, anything is possible. also this is all in good fun and giggles. with that being said, let’s get started with introductions to the members themselves.

jimmy page 

james patrick page 

born on January 9, 1944 

he’s a capricorn sun, cancer moon, and scorpio rising so you just know he’s a crazy motherfucker 

was an amazing session guitarist and basically everyone wanted him 

went to art school bc he’s just talented at everything i guess 

if you didn't know already he played the guitar for Joe cocker’s ‘with a little help from my friends’

declined his first offer to join the yardbirds but later decided to join 

was the last member to leave the group

basically was the leader of led zeppelin 

was gifted a telecaster guitar by his friend jeff beck and he adored it 

and he painted a cool dragon design on it 

played on it for the first led zeppelin album 

when he was on tour one of his friends painted over his dragon design and ruined the guitar 

he produced all of led zeppelin’s albums and is responsible for the remastering of those same albums 

paid for led zeppelin’s first album to be produced with his own money

deadass would have whips and handcuffs around with him on tour for the groupies 

but was apparently an amazing lover and cared for the people he slept with

one time he got naked on a food cart thingy, put whip cream over his body, and had john bonham push him into a room with groupies in it 

has such a small and soft voice 

was fascinated in aleister crowley and his work

would collect crowely memorabilia 

even bought crowley’s boleskine house 

had a bookstore at one point so he could get books easier 

struggled with addiction to drugs for most of the seventies 

went on a liquid diet late seventies and refused to eat solid food 

he got really skinny bc of it :( 

miss pamela (one of his girlfriends/lovers) once said that jimmy cried on the phone to her over her playboy photoshoot lmaoo

once flied pamela’s pet raccoon in first class 

allegedly had a relationship with lori maddox who was about 15 years old 

laughed as two of his girlfriends were fighting each other 

was kind of constantly nervous about his and the band’s image

has amazing guitar solos and improvisation but damn sometimes they drag on foreverrrr

deadass scared the shit out of david bowie so much that he had his house exorcised and would avoid jimmy at parties 

we love demons 

zoso

he’ll never tell us what zoso means and I'm mad

had two people die in his home. one was a friend who died from a drug overdose, and the other was john bonham when he died from choking on his vomit.  

has been accused for the deaths of john bonham and robert plant’s son karac bc of that stupid “curse” rumor

deserves critiques for several things but doesn't deserve hate for that 

has been through a lot and come out pretty okay

produced his current girlfriend’s, scarlett sabet, spoken poetry vinyl 

check out scarlett’s work bc it’s amazing

would probably always be down for another led zeppelin reunion 

robert plant

robert anthony plant 

born on august 20, 1948

this is the most attractive man ever. do not argue with me. 

nicknamed percy 

wasnt jimmy’s first pick for a singer 

jerry reid suggested robert to jimmy. and when jimmy asked what he looked like jerry said, “like a greek god.”

jimmy thought something was wrong with robert when he first found him bc he was such a good singer and hadn't been signed yet 

after a practice together jimmy knew he had his singer 

he would call robert “the young guy with the powerful voice.”

he thought about leaving the band early on bc he was so nervous about being in it 

convinced john bonham to join the group bc they were the bestest of buddies 

he’s not credited on the first album bc he was still under another contract 

started song writing for the second album by jimmy’s memory 

it didn't take long for him to gain confidence and start owning the stage 

once when he was performing a dove flew in his hands 

there’s an audio of him singing john bonham happy birthday and it makes me so happy 

he would call himself a greek god 

would party with john bonham a lot 

kind of the hippy of the group 

moans moans moans and even louder moans into the microphone 

would wear women’s shirts and looked amazing in them 

nurses do it better 

not to mention his super tight jeans 

we all know his dick is huge and he’s just showing it off 

has the prettiest, fluffiest blonde hair 

and the sweetest smile 

can you tell that i find him attractive yet?

has a fear of earthquakes 

also supposedly had some sort of a relationship to an underage groupie named sable starr (14)

also has a fear of led zeppelin nowadays 

either fear or amnesia 

it’s likely that he’s the reason we’ll never get another led zeppelin reunion 

though a close friend thinks that if the show went to charity robert would probably do it 

robert loved john bonham too much to play in led zeppelin without him

and i respect that a lot 

no matter how much he’s offered for a show he turns it down every time

in 1975 he got in a severe car crash and ended up being in a wheelchair 

still went on to record zeppelin’s album 

once while recording on crutches and started to fall and jimmy apparently zoomed in to save him. robert never saw him move that fast before

his five year old son (karac) died from a sudden stomach illness while he was in america on tour

absolutely crushed him 

was deeply upset that neither jimmy page or john paul jones reached out to him during that time of his life 

john bonham was there for him though 

robert apparently never forgave them for that 

a car he was working on fell on top of him and crushed some of his ribs as well 

late seventies was not a good time for robert plant 

but he got through it all like a champ

hates stairway to heaven with a passion lmao  

one time he paid a radio station a shit ton of money just to make sure they'd never play stairway to heaven again 

almost didn't sing stairway for the 2007 reunion but ended up agreeing to it after all 

he said he breaks out in hives when he has to play that song 

he and jimmy made their own symbols. robert’s is the feather inside the circle 

in 2007 he won beard of the year 

john bonham

john bonham 

born on may 31, 1948

nickname is bonzo

oh boy, there’s a lot of stories about bonzo 

he was known as the nicest and sweetest guy ever 

unless he was drunk 

he drank a lot :/

denied jimmy’s offer to join the group and continued to deny it until robert convinced him 

once flew the starship (led zeppelin’s plane) even though he didn't have a license to 

hated touring so much 

he always missed his family 

so he drank 

he was so damn crazy when drunk that the other members would book rooms floors above where his was so he wouldn't disturb them

tore about his hotel rooms like no other 

he has a son named jason bonham who he loved a lot 

bought him a nice drum kit when he was younger 

jason is just about led zeppelin’s biggest fan next to jimmy page 

one time bonzo broke a girl’s vibrator when drunk

also punched a girl in the face when drunk once bc she waved at him 

partly responsible for the famous mud shark story where a girl was apparently fucked with a dead shark by him and zeppelin’s tour manager 

liked cars a lot 

really really loved his family. cannot stress it enough

was irked that john paul jones got out of playing shows during the christmas holiday and he didn't 

punched robert in the face once too 

him and john paul jones equals the best rhythm section ever 

jimmy would call it magic how well him and bonzo got along 

bonzo could handle anything jimmy threw at him 

he wasn't really a part of it, but he had to go to jail bc peter grant and two other dudes almost killing a man (long story omfg, but apparently the doctors had to put the dude’s eyeball back into his socket)

was there for robert when karac died 

they were really good friends 

there’s an interview with them together where bonzo is laughing at robert about his little farm 

gave good hugs apparently 

played drums like no other could and knew he was good 

but still sometimes got insecure and got upset when someone he looked up to said his drumming wasn't all that special 

his symbol is the three rings and he picked it out of a book like john paul jones did his 

he died in jimmy page’s house (not the crowley house btw)

he had to drink the equivalent of 40 shots of vodka and choked on his vomit in his sleep 

led zeppelin died on the same day 

nobody can replace john bonham 

his son filled in his role for the 2007 reunion show and did an amazing job of it. the whole show is on youtube, go check it out

john paul jones

 john richard baldwin 

born on january 3, 1946

nickname is jonesy 

was also a session guitarist like jimmy 

they had worked together before 

when he found out jimmy was forming a group he called jimmy and was basically given the spot immediately 

not only was the bassist but also the keyboardist 

and could play the recorder 

insanely talented. put some respect on his name 

he talks in italics i swear to god 

i don't have mainly crazy stories about jonesy bc he wasn't about that life 

deadass he would go on stage, perform, walk off stage and go to a whole separate hotel from the other

he would only tell one person where he was at and told them not to call unless for super urgent emergencies 

pissed peter grant off so much lmao 

wasn't really super close to anyone in the band tbh 

but bonzo was probably his greatest friend in the band 

jimmy and robert kind of leave him out in my opinion 

or they use to 

when he found out that jimmy and robert were making their own symbols instead of picking out of a book like he was he said “of course!”  and laughed 

was pretty much left out of the live aid show 

he had to squeeze himself on the stage and wasn't even able to play bass. he had to play the keyboard 

“and thank you to my friends for finally remembering my phone number” -savage as hell john paul jones 

he was one of the two people who found john bonham dead 

it’s sad to think about

is actually quite funny

he has this kind of dry humor?? idk but it’s amazing 10/10 content 

when john paul jones walks into the room interviewers break into a sweat

managed to look like a completely different person every year throughout the seventies or is it just my eyes?

has an Instagram account now go follow it for cute throwback photos lol

that’s all i really have for generic useless information about led zeppelin members for beginners. i hope it was somewhat entertaining. i'll make some more beginners stuff for led zeppelin. i will make y'all stan them lmao. i'm tagging @babygotblueeyes​ bc i know for a fact you want to get into them <3