#adam x male reader

[ambrosiagoldfish]

I loved your Adam x 3rd spouse piece! I think you really captured his personality! I also just really like you're writing style! You did an qmzyjob and I think you'll continue make amazing pieces like this? Have a wonderful day or night and continue to rest if you can! 🥰🥰🥰

Benefit of the doubt Pt.3

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angsty, General Adam TW’s, Reader HIGHKEY has a complex about being loved, Reader finally talks about their issues, Lucifer and Lilith scout for new kissing partner but fails miserably/hj, Lilith will probably be OOC in the future (once Season 2 comes), Adam has abandonment issues, Adam is a puppy in private but a bitch in public, And the couch returns once again (why do all the sad things happen on this couch), This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader! (Annnnnd We popped the Y/n cherry! It’s used only once tho)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Request box: Open

Word count: 3664

A/N: Hi!!! Thanks so much! I’m using your request as the ask for part 3 so I hope that’s ok! You all were so nice with all the love for part 1 and 2 😭😭🫶🫶 this part is also pretty long but I just couldn’t stop writing it. I wanted to do 1 more part set in the past before we jump to the angst that is the show. So I guess you could call this the penultimate part! A lot of people wanted to see Lucifer hit on Reader and try to do what he did with Lilith and Eve but with Reader. And I had quite a hard time coming up with a reason that could occur in the past but I think I figured it out.

Since Luci and Lilith would still be together at this time I’ve decided to add Lilith in as well for POLY GOALS. Also they may seem malicious but I genuinely don’t think they are (they just find Reader hot LBH) 😭😭 Also I added a few more people to the tag list!

Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily

It’s been a while since Adam first moved into your newly shared home. You weren’t sure exactly how long, it was hard to keep track of time in heaven. Days seemed to blur together. It made sense to you at least, it is heaven after.

After Adam moved in, your life was filled with so many new things to experience with him, and the same was true for him. While he may seem a bit brutish, (and at times he can be) he loved the new things you showed him, the new feelings you showed him.

You were so kind, so thoughtful and so, so patient with him. You never forced him to do something he didn’t want to do but you would still push him to explore new things, even managing to convince him to be a part of heaven's official duties. That’s why, at times like these, you knew exactly what to do.

The sound of Adam slamming the front door as he entered the house made you jump. Even from a few feet away, you could hear him mumbling curses about something as he plopped himself down on the couch. You followed quickly behind, gently laying next to him

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You try to keep your voice light and soothing. Looking at him it was obvious that something was bothering him. The gold feathers of his wings were unkempt from them flaring up, his halo was slightly crooked and his LED mask showed an almost snarled expression.

Your hand slowly caressed his wings, moving the out of place feathers back to normal. But no matter how hard you tried they would stick back out.

“It’s nothing, just some lame shitty meeting I have to go to tomorrow” he crosses his arms and looks away from you.

“Hmm? Something tells me there’s more to it than that, right?” You snuggle into his belly, rubbing it softly .

His mask pouts “Dammit’ bitch, how do you always see through me, huh?” He sighs defeatedly before continuing “You know how more people are starting to kick the bucket or whatever? Well, heaven’s worried about the surplus of sinners so they're having the aforementioned shitty meeting to come to a solution and…”

He pauses

“And?” You look at him anticipatingly

“And… He’ll be there.” Oh… So that's why he’s upset. “They’re having the meeting in their brand new “heaven embassy” down in hell.” His voice mocks

“Oh, I’m so sorry Adam, Have you tried asking Sera if you can sit this one out?”

Adam groans, putting his face in his hands “Yeah like forty fucking times but she keeps saying that it’s my “heavenly duty” and she won’t let me.”

You bring your arms around Adam’s neck pulling him in towards you. You weren’t sure what to do if you were being honest. There’s nothing you can do really, if even Sera won’t let him miss it. Hmm…

“Adam, I know it’s gonna suck but if you can’t get out of it, then that’s that.” Adam looks at you a little confused “but I can go with you, I’m sure Sera wouldn’t mind an extra pair of hands in the discussion.”

“What! Hell no!” He shouted as he sat up from the couch, shaking his head defiantly.

You look at him confused, “Why?”

“That’ll only make the whole thing fucking worse! If it’s just me, I don’t have to worry that he’ll get anywhere near you!” Adam’s mask turns into a slight grimace as he attempts to keep his eyes off you.

You make your way to him, the sound of your footsteps falling off as you stop in front of him. You grab his hand as the other one moves up to his face, cupping it.

“Adam…” you rubbed circles on his hand as you continued “We’re partners. You haven’t forgotten my promise right?” You play with the golden ring on his finger.

Adam groans “No, I haven’t… sigh Shit- Fine! But… just stay by me, alright?” Your face lights up before your arms wrap around his shoulders joining you both in an embrace

“Of course,” you rub his wings gently before you grasp his hands in yours, leading him by them. “Come on, you must be tired right? It’s getting late. Couch or bed?”

“Couch. I’m way not in the mood to make a bed right now.” You laugh at his comment as you pull him to lay on the couch with you. His soft, warm body pushes up against you as you both slowly drift off to sleep for the day ahead.

-

A not-too familiar sight laid before you, the pearly gates of heaven, guarded by the one and only Saint Peter. There was no real reason for you to ever come here. You never had the chance to die, which is when most, if not all Winners see it for the first time. No one’s allowed to leave heaven unless given permission by a higher up and on top of all that, you weren’t really that enticed to leave the oh-so perfect afterlife, so there had never been a reason to see these golden gates.

But now, here you were standing behind them with some other angels. You didn’t know most of them, the only ones you recognized were Sera and Adam. As expected, it was pretty easy to convince Sera to let Adam take you along. They even prepared an extra wide seat for both of you to share. How generous!

Ever since you woke up this morning, Adam had been… Nervous? Scared? The right word doesn’t really matter but he’s been sweating buckets and was clearly more agitated than normal. His feathers were once again unkempt and you tried your best to keep them in order but he always seemed to get them messy.

Eventually, right on schedule, a flaming portal opened in front of the group. Sera was the first to enter, then followed by the others. Finally it was just you and Adam but as you take a step towards the portal, Adam stops you

“What is it?” You look up at him.

“Just… stay by me, ok?” Adam’s voiced was softer than normal, a way he only did when you two were alone

Nodding your head with a smile, your hand comes down and interlocks his. One of his bright golden wings veils itself around you, bringing you closer to him. You snuggle into him slightly before you both step into the portal.

You didn’t know what to expect when you stepped through the portal but a sight that was almost like home awaited you. The familiar gold that heaven was so fond of was everywhere in the building, accents of white and orange were also present. All and all, it was a familiar sight in a not-so familiar place.

But there was definitely something that wasn’t familiar in that place. Sitting in a chair at the end of the room was him, Lucifer Morningstar. The aura he had definitely made him seem angelic but there was clearly something about him that separated himself from divinity. Though you do have to admit that he was much shorter than you anticipated.

There was something that surprised you however, to his left sat a tall woman with long blond hair and horns. It took you a second to put 2&2 together but when you heard Adam mutter “Shit…” you knew immediately it was Lilith. And from Adam’s reaction even he wasn’t expecting her to be there.

You squeeze his hand gently as comfort, giving him a smile before you both walk to your seat. Your body is pushed closer to him as his wing wraps tighter around you. Looks like there’s no calming him down.

Finally the meeting starts, Sera begins by explaining the issue of the fast growing population in hell, leading to groups trying to form uprisings against heaven. To be honest you didn’t really understand it too well, just a lot of business-y sounding words that weren't really your forte. So you just stayed quiet.

From what you could tell, the meeting was going… well? They haven’t been able to agree on a proper decision even with Sera leading the conversation. Adam though, was being eerily quiet. You don't even think he’s said a word since you both got there. Sera seemed to notice this.

“Adam, want to share any ideas?” Sera spoke in an encouraging tone slightly gesturing to him. This seemed to catch Lucifer and Lilith’s attention. Maybe they didn’t recognize Adam because of the mask?

Adam was caught off guard but still talked “Oh uh… Man, I don’t know, can’t we just fucking kill them?” Both you and Sera looked over in surprise, “What? That would solve the problem wouldn't it? “ He shrugged

Sera sighed “Ok, how about we take a short recess to clear our minds to let in new ideas. We’ll resume the meeting in 30 minutes”

With that, everyone went their separate ways for the time being, you and Adam were the first to leave the board room, he practically was pulling you along and you could tell he wanted out of there. You both ended up in the lobby, neither of you saying a word.

The silence was so very loud. The only sound was yours and Adam’s breathing. Adam’s hand was still firmly tied to yours, not even the slightest hint of letting go. You rubbed your thumb in circles over his hand when a voice echoed through the air

“Adam, may I have a word?” Sera’s voice echoed lightly through the lobby. She gestured to a door next to her. You both made your way over to her and was about to go in when Sera put her hand in front of Adam stopping him

“What the hell Sera?!”

“Alone, please.”

Adam’s LED eyes widened his mouth slightly agape. He looked down with a scowl before turning his face to you. Your free hand going up to his mask, caressing it.

“Go talk with Sera,”

“But-“

“Shh, I’ll be fine,” You give him a kiss on the cheek, the cold of the metallic mask reaching your lips, “I’ll just be in the lobby, I won’t go anywhere till you get back. Ok?” Adam didn’t look at you, clearly avoiding eye contact, you grab his chin lightly and gently turn him to look at you,

“Ok?”

Adam’s mouth formed a frown and he groaned “Fuck- fine, ok…” You gave him a smile as Sera walked into the room, you felt his grip loosen and loosen, until finally his soft hand left yours as he walked into the room. He gave one final look back before closing the room's door.

Silence filled the air once again. It wasn’t like it was with Adam, that comfortable silence that you shared ever so often. This one laid in the air, thick and heavy, threatening to suffocate you at any given moment. You sat on one of the many yellow and white sofas in the lobby.

You tried your best to ignore it. Paying attention to less important details about the scenery around you. The weird zigzagging pattern of the carpet of the floor, the intricate designs on the doors, the huge windows. Heaven sure had a unique taste in interior design.

You tried so hard to ignore the silence that you eventually ignored the sound that broke said silence. Footsteps began echoing through the lobby approaching you. You didn’t realize someone was next to you until you heard a voice say.

“Ahem Hello!” A male voice startled you as it chimed in with a sickening sweet tone. You look towards the direction of the voice only to be greeted by the king of hell himself, Lucifer. You jumped back to the other side of the sofa in shock.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare ya.” He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m Lucifer, But judging on your reaction, I guess you already knew that. I’ve never seen you before so you must be relatively new, right?”

You nodded your head sheepishly to answer his question. You honestly didn’t know what else to do, what could you do? You slowly picked yourself up from the sofa.

“I’m sorry but I have to go-“ you turn to leave only to bump into a tall woman. You must have been so surprised by Lucifer that you completely missed Lilith coming up behind you.

“But we haven’t even learned your name yet, Dear.” The woman’s voice sounded both somber but also welcoming, it was quite frightening how much it could calm your nerves if you kept listening to it. “How about we talk? No harm in it, right?”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Darling!” Lucifer came up from behind you, a sharp smile on his face. “Come on, sit and chat!”

Crap… they had you cornered. You had no telling what they’d do if you set them off, you wanted the meeting to go as smoothly as possible, for Adam. A few minutes to indulge them. that’s it.

You bit your lip but sighed “Ok… but just a few minutes”

“Great!” Lilith took your shoulders moving you to sit down beside her as Lucifer sat on the other side, sandwiching you between them. “So, I’ll ask again, what’s your name?”

You hesitated for a moment but decided it was better to get the conversation over with as quickly as possible.

“Y/n”

“That’s a very beautiful name,” Lucifer spoke, his tone trying to make him sound almost charming, almost. “So, if you don’t mind us asking, who are you to… Adam?” He gestured over to the door Sera and Adam went through earlier.

“I’m his spouse.” This time you answered with complete confidence, not even a shred of hesitation in your voice.

“Ah!” Lucifer nodded his head in understanding. “How’s that going?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I for one know how much of a hassle that man-child is,” Lilith laughs, covering her mouth slightly “I asked around, is it true he hasn’t taken that ridiculous mask off since he got it, hmm? Has he even shown you his real face yet?”

“No but-“

“He can be so… tiresome at times, don’t you agree?”

“No. I don’t. Adam is the best thing to ever happen to me-“

“Exactly.” Lucifer interrupted you as your eyes furrowed “You don’t have anything else to compare it to. Of course you’d see trash like the “first man” as the best thing ever.”

Trash. That word really set you off, at least it would have, if it wasn’t for the next sentence .

“But hey! It’s fine! Eve was the same way! You too are honestly very alike, let me tell you-“

Thousands upon thousands of thin threads binding you up. That’s what this conversation felt like. Each annoyance was just a new thread getting tighter and tighter as they were pulled taut, threatening to simply slice through your body, your soul. But they didn’t, instead they kept stretching past their limits until finally those words came.

Like… Eve. It felt like each of those tightly pulled threads were all cut at once with those words. Any and all tension suddenly seemed to disappear. A strange sensation of losing any care about your situation.

You know what? To hell with the meeting! You quickly stood up from the sofa causing them both to jump slightly. You turned toward them, your voice was louder than you thought was possible for you. You weren’t sure what had gotten into you but you felt so… Angry.

“I am nothing like Eve. And I’m especially nothing like either of you.” You had enough, it was untelling what would happen if you stayed. You started walking toward the room Adam was in when Lucifer grabbed your arm

“Wait! That’s not what I meant-“

“Don’t touch me, snake” you stared daggers at him before quickly grabbing his hand and shoving it off.

“We’re sorry if we upset you Dear, but that’s no way to talk to someone” Lilith walks up to you, putting an arm in front of Lucifer in a protective stance.

You walk up to the tall woman, she was at least two heads taller than you but still, you barred your teeth before speaking “Oh! You really think I care about what the first whore thinks of me, Huh?” Your voice dripped with poison from every word.

Even Lilith seemed caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanor as her face turned into a scowl. Red horns protruded through Lucifer’s head, his eyes turning red with anger. You turn your attention back to him.

“What are you gonna do?” Lucifer’s gaze slightly softened with hesitation “Exactly, nothing. Less’ you want to dig yourself deeper into this cyst pool you’ve created for yourself and end up on even worse terms with heaven.”

Without even sparing them a glance, you try to make it to the room, only to be greeted by Adam and Sera standing by the door. How long were they standing there? You must have not heard them over your screaming..

“What the fuck are you assholes doing to them? ” You rush over and grab him by the hand, the action startling him “Babe, what happened-“

“Nothing. Sera. Open a portal back home.”

“But-“

“Sera!” Your voice was gritty and rough “open a portal. Now... Please…” your voice cracked at the end

Sera had never seen you show so much anger before, but here you were, your entire gaze filled with nothing but pure unadulterated wrath.Threatening to burn anyone who got in your way. Whatever happened clearly set you off like nothing else before.

Sera nods her head “Understood”

“Thank you…”

A familiar flaming portal opened up, you quickly made your way through it with Adam following suit. The portal ended up right inside your home, closing as you both were fully through. You honestly didn’t know where you were going but eventually your body couldn’t go any further than the couch

Feeling the soft couch beneath you made your aching muscles feel like they were melting away, and only then did you realize that you were crying.

Adam crawled next to you, hugging close to you. “What the happened out there, Babe?”

You felt your body slowly break down, as more tears left you then you had cried your entire existence. Adam hugged you tighter, his wings coming over you like a blanket.

“H-How much did you see?” Your voice was shaky as you sniffed slightly.

“Not a lot, just some shit towards the end,what did those bastards say to you?”

You cleared your throat slightly. “I only talked to them because I didn’t want them to get upset and ruin the meeting and make your day even worse than it already was”

Adam’s LED mask shifted into a small sad frown “Sweetheart, you never have to talk to any motherfuckers you don’t want to, let alone for me. “

You smile but look away “it wasn’t… it wasn’t…” you tried to get the words out but couldn’t. You took a deep breath before trying one more time,”It wasn’t the only thing that set me off.” Adam looks at you curious

“They said that I reminded them of… Eve, and it just made me so… angry. I was created for you, to love you-“ your tears start swelling back up as you spoke “I want to be so much better than Eve, than Lilith for you. And then she pointed out how I’ve never seen Your face, which I’ve always been fine with, but at that moment, I started to think ‘what if they’re right?’ What if the reason you don’t want me to see you is because I also remind you of Eve”

You choked back tears “So to be compared to her when I’ve tried so hard… if I’m not better than her for you, then what is even the point of me! I was created to make you happy, if I can’t do that better than someone who hurt you so bad then I’m just useless-“

Soft lips met yours, cutting you off. This felt different than what you normally got on the cheek. It was warm compared to the cold metallic feel you’ve felt previously. Your eyes opened slightly looking at Adam’s LED mask… or what you thought was going to be a mask. He had pulled his mask off while you were crying.

You pulled back from the kiss “Adam your mask!” Adam just kisses back again

“That fucking thing doesn’t matter right now.” He paused “You're not useless and will never be useless to me. Fuck- I love you because I love you! Not because you were created for me or some stupid shit like that! You make me so fucking happy. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were just some object that was made to make me feel better, because you aren’t.”

“Adam…” to think tears could roll down your face this harder than before “I love you so much Adam” you cry into his soft chest.

Adam kisses you again “I love you too Sweetcheeks.” Adam paused before clearing his throat “So umm… how do I look? I hope I didn't disappoint you…”

You look up at his newly unveiled face, just as you had been told, short brown hair, golden eyes, and a little bit of stubble on his chin. By all accounts, he was completely ordinary. So ordinarily perfect.

“Perfect. So so perfect. What’d I do to end up with such a handsome husband, hmm?”

“Oh stop, now you’re just being fucking cheesy” he laughs, he would never admit it but his eyes were a little watery just from hearing you say that.

“It’s true though” you lean in and wrap your arms around him, killing you both with a deep kiss.

Truly ordinary. You couldn’t be happier

[redr0sewrites]

So bc u requested Adam and/or Lute stuff I'd like to request Adam x male!reader? Like literally anything that comes to your mind, idc if it's sfw or nsfw I just crave it °^° (also if you're not comfy with writing male reader that's totally cool too, in that case just ignore this)

I HAVW NO QUALMS AB WRITING MALE READER NONNIE DW!!!! ♥️

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, male!reader, overall adam's usual shenanigans

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

you can NOT look me in the eyes and tell me adam does not have some form of internalized homophobia, and the minute he starts catching feelings for you i genuinely think he'd have a mini crisis

because of his major fuckboy personality he has a LOT of experience with flirting with women, but literally no experience with flirting with men

adam is still pretty confident however, and would probably approach you first.

i think he'd have to be friends with you to catch feelings for you in the first place, so he's probably around you pretty often

adam is very subconsciously flirty with you, but in a much more genuine way without his usual bravado. he doesn't even realize how soft he acts around you, but others can tell by the way his eyes always follow you and how he seems to orbit around you, or the way he'll purposefully stand as close as possible when he's talking to you. theres also the fact that he's literally always touching you, whether it be an arm around your shoulders or a hand resting on your back, he just needs to be close to you. you attract him like a moth to a flame, even when he's in a crowded room all adam is focused on is getting your attention. even his casual hookups stop as he literally focuses all his time on winning you over, even he doesn't realize how much he likes you (everyone else can tell. theres a betting pool in heaven on when you both will get together and who will confess first, etc)

adam definitely acts like a BUFFOON around you, deep down he doesn't think someone like you would want to be with him and overcompensates by bragging constantly about all the woman he's liked in a slightly pathetic attempt to flirt with you and literally CONSTANTLY trying to get your attention. think of his usual flaunting attitude and then turn up the dial by 100%. he wants to be on your mind 24/7 the same way your on his mind all the time

meanwhile ur lowkey heartbroken, bc you think adam is straight and yet you can't get rid of your stupid ass crush on his stupid face!!!! it's honestly especially irritating because he'll flirt with you and call you so many petnames and nicknames and will always be touching you, so you think you have a chance, then all of a sudden he's talking about some girl he banged and you just feel a bit led on

its very amusing for lute to watch the both of you dance around eachother and your feelings, when you both so clearly like eachother but are too scared to do anything about it

honestly i think you'd both end up confessing to eachother in the middle of an argument, maybe your pissed at adam for bragging about the "super hot girl he banged last night" (she isn't real and he spent the entire night thinking about you) and he's pissed off that your getting mad at him instead of being impressed or falling in love with him

definitely one of those dramatic "because i LOVE you, okay?!" confessions i am cringe but i am free and adam just kinda stares at you for a hot minute

adam would literally be like "wait... YOU like ME???? i thought you HATED me????? IM the one who likes YOU!" in usual adam fashion, and you would literally be like -_-"YOU LIKED ME THIS WHOLE TIME??? WHY DIDNT U SAY ANYTHING????" his dumbass would literally be like "I WAS TRYING TO??????" and all of this useless dialogue would literally just end in the two of you admitting your true feelings (much to lute's amusement who was recording the entire thing bc she NEEDS to win that bet)

once you both are officially together? prepare for adam to be the clingiest mf alive (in a cute way tho). he waited so long to be with you and literally became solely devoted to you for a WHILE before winning you over and it's probably been a hot minute since he's genuinely dated someone. sure, he's had hookups, but real, soulful relationships aren't common with him.

adam is ridiculously loyal to you, definitely one of those people who will be like "i have a bf 🙄" when someone random texts them, even if that person wasn't even interested in them romantically

LOVESSS flaunting you!! adam will bring you to every event he attends, he loves bragging about you and showing you off to all of heaven

if anyone ever gave you any shit about your relationship adam would literally drop kick them, he's very defensive about your guys' relationship and wants everyone to know that he loves you.

adam doesn't know shit about labels or sexuality so you probably have to teach him some things, i honestly think he'd be pansexual or just queer/unlabeled (i am totallyyy nooot projecting)

nsfw:

adam has been alive a long time and thought he tried everything sex related under the sun, but being with a guy opened a whole new world of possibilities

adam had explored with anal a bit before, but never with a partner. only in the late hours of the night when jerking off just wasn't enough, and he found himself with a strange temptation, his hands creeping lower and lower until he finally began to thrust his fingers in and out of his aching hole, tears welling in his eyes from a mix of humiliation and pure pleasure. yet, when he admitted to having tried fingering himself before, he also admitted something else- he had never managed to make himself cum, and had always gotten too embarrassed to push himself over the edge

he is a switch FIGHT ME. the first time your both intimate, adam absolutely talks so much shit about topping yet starts whining the second he begins fucking your tight cavern. this leads to you taking control and fucking him senseless, and adam is shocked at how much he enjoys it

he takes dick like a champ, he's a bratty sub at first but once you praise or degrade him, he's melting like putty in your hands

adam is sooo loud, he's a shameless moaner and everyone within a mile radius can hear his screams

you have to teach him how to give head, and he is surprisingly a very fast learner. adam lowkey gets off on how humbling it is to be below you, and he's also the type to get off on his partner's pleasure.

adam definitely has some sort of breeding kink, and when he's fucked dumb and so, so needy, he'll beg you to cum inside, whining about fucking a baby into him and babbling pure nonsense

even though it is quite literally impossible for either of you to get pregnant, he loves that kind of dirty talk. adam will pretend to be embarrassed about it but the thought of you breeding him or him breeding you is genuinely such a turn on for him

yall literally never use a condom im sorry 💀

adam would enjoy topping as well, i def think he enjoys fucking you and he loves fucking you senseless with pleasure

the first time he tops adam goes slow, he wants to learn more than anything and becomes incredibly skilled at reaching that sweet spot inside of you

adam is the first man, the original dick, and he definitely knows how to use it. he's such a fast learner when it comes to sex-related things, and memorizes everything about you and your body. he wants to know what makes you tick, and everything that pleases you or turns you on

adam is a pretty big guy and he can easily maneuver you into any position you want, he really likes hitting it from the back and loves fucking you from behind. he'd definitely pull your hair, forcing your head back so he could whisper absolute filth in your ear

i really really enjoyed writing this urgrhrgregregeh i love me some adam- im an afab person but im genderqueer/unlabeled and sometimes feel more masculine or more feminine, snd this was very fun to write bc i usually don't get requests for male reader or more masculine reader so yea i really really enjoyed this!!! also happy easter to anyone else who celebrates lmao i can't believe yall r getting smut from me on easter 💀

[maj-3k]

Y.N (seeing Adam): I can fuck misogyny out of him.

Lute: You can what?!?

[scekrex]

Consider chasing dick instead of pussy

prompt by @akiriyo

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language & implied sexual intimacy I guess

note: not beta read bc idc

You were completely zoned out, your hand was supporting your head so that it wouldn't slap down on the table.

It was yet another day of Adam complaining - seriously the guy was complaining more about his ex wives than you two were having a normal conversation about anything else. Because no matter what you were talking about, Adam somehow always found a way to talk about Lilith and Eve. And once started, his ranting could go on for hours, there were countless nights without sleep simply because the man wouldn't stop talking about his fucking cheating bitches of ex wives. And with every other sentence he then claimed that ‘he’s totally over it’ and that he doesn't need them anyways.

Fucking bullshit.

“Yo, are you even listening, bitch?” the first man asked all of a sudden, fingers snapping in front of your face to get your attention.

“You should've dated a fucking guy instead of these bitches, y’know. All fucking day you keep complaining about how awful they were, how they cheated on you with Lucifer, how they betrayed you and how you'll never be able to get into a healthy relationship with a woman ever again because of those two cunts. Well then fucking quit chasing after pussy and try dick, you fucking idiot.” In all honesty? You really didn't know where that came from nor were you sure if Adam had been able to understand you because of how fast you were talking but by God it felt good. 

Because for once there was silence. Pure, blissful silence.

“What?” was all that came from your counterpart. His golden eyes were widened, confusion was written all over his face and he seemed truly taken aback. You simply huffed, now that you had started it, you might've might as well finish it.

“Y’know all I hear from you lately is ‘That whore Lilith did this’ and ‘Fuckin cheating cunt Eve did that' fucking quit it already and date guys. If you would've looked at me back in Eden for once, just fucking once, you would've been able to save yourself a lot of trouble. But instead you were chasing bitches that were rather bouncing on fucking Lucifer's dick than yours.”

His expression changed, confusion was replaced with realization and you just thanked God that this man seemed to have enough of his brain left to catch on to what you were saying.

“Fuck, you-” the brunette started. He had sure been expecting something but this? This wasn't something he had been noticing, not until you brought it up that was. “You were visiting Eden because of me?”

“Ding, ding, full points. You want a fucking trophy for being able to follow my words?” you bit back, slightly annoyed by his oblivion. Had Adam really been that blind to not notice the ways you've been staring at him a little longer than friends did? That you were always there for him, no matter how late, no matter what?

Adam's expression soured slightly at your choice of words and he shot a quick “Fuck you” your way. “You could've just fucking said so y’know.” Another huff escaped you as you got up from the chair you were sitting on to be on eye level with him - Adam was still sitting on the chair across the small table. “I could've just said so? Are you kidding? I've been fucking trying to but every time I tried you brought up your ex whores.”

Adam was silent again, he did nothing but to simply look you in the eyes.

That was until he grabbed you by the collar of your robe and pulled you in roughly. You stumbled slightly forwards, your knees hitting against his as your arm shot towards the backrest of the chair Adam was sitting on in order to not collapse on top of him. And then his lips brushed against yours, harshly and firm, far from soft and lovingly. One of his hands wandered to your neck, he made sure you wouldn't pull away too soon. But you weren't thinking about ending the kiss, you had been waiting for thousands of years for this to happen.

Adam parted his legs to pull you in closer, your chest was now flush against his and his hand that had been gripping your collar just moments ago was now on your ass.

And all you were able to think about was that you now had an effective method to shut Adam up properly.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Wait a funny idea but, femboy reader who ends in Heaven and Adam hitting on him, and reader is like 🧍my brother in christ i am a MAN what are you on vs Adam absolutely flabbergasted going 🫵🤨 what are YOU on. I guess more like crack being taken seriously?

Yours truly,

🖍

ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕎𝕙𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕀 𝔸𝕞

Words: 144

It wasn’t uncommon for Adam to hit on any new soul that arrives in heaven, but it was the fact he mainly flirted with the women. So when you arrived St. Peter threw him a weird look, one he didn’t catch.

“Hey Cutie~” He was leaning against a nearby wall with such a smug smile, likely thinking he’ll be able to sleep with you. But even if you've been here for less than a day, word travels quickly.

He was a womanizer, and you weren’t a woman. When his first attempts didn’t work he tried just a little harder, which didn’t make a difference.

“You realize I’m a guy, right?”

“Wha– huh!?” His eyes widened, probably scanning over you. “But you dress like that?”

Hands pointing all over your outfit before looking back towards a masked angel.

“Eh, you’re still hot so I’ll fuck.”

[defectivevillain]

a heavenly, hellish housemate

pairing: Adam/Reader

The reader’s race and gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used.***

summary: “If you’re my guardian angel, then why are you so…?” you break off. “Devilishly handsome?” The angel winks. “I was going to say ‘sleazy,’” you frown. “Okay, that’s not the right way to say ‘Wow, thank you so much for saving my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Adam, you’re so sexy and badass.'” He scoffs.

After Adam acts up yet again, Sera decides to assign him guardian angel duty. Adam is pissed, but he goes along with it and starts to look out for you: the human he’s tasked with protecting. He has no intention of ever actually meeting you, but when he saves you from death, he finds himself stuck on Earth with you.

warnings: near-death experiences, emotional manipulation, suggestive humor

author's notes: ***The reader is referred to as “dude,” and “bitch” (you can thank adam for that, lmao) but i typically use those terms with the intent of them being gender-neutral… The reader also uses cologne (but, again, smelling nice isn’t gender-specific, i don’t think…)

This fic won’t be canon compliant. Also, some of the story itself is going to be underdeveloped—in the sense that I still want this to be a “oneshot,” not a multi-chapter fic. Some big-scale things like how Adam gets to Earth and how he will return to Heaven are overlooked.

anyways, onto the fun stuff:

It’s been a long day, you think to yourself as you walk down the sidewalk. Work wasn’t particularly eventful today, but you’re still rather exhausted. You’re contemplating what you’ll fix for dinner when you see a car approaching out of the corner of your eye. You blink and your heart races as you realize it’s veering off the road and heading right towards you. It’s going far too fast and suddenly you’re frozen, trapped as the car speeds towards the sidewalk and heads straight for you in painful slow-motion. At the last possible moment, you’re shoved to the side with unnatural momentum. You fall to the ground and the car crashes into the wall—right about where you had been walking mere moments ago. You stare at it in disbelief. 

You have scrapes on your knees and you get the feeling you’ll have bruises on your elbows and arms, but otherwise, you’re unharmed. It’s a miracle—there’s no other way to explain it. By all means, you should have died in that car crash. You weren’t able to move in time… until that weird sensation, as if someone unseen had just shoved you out of the way. 

“Don’t get paid enough for this shit,” someone nearby mutters. You’re about to get up when a large shadow overtakes your vision. You look up to find a figure cloaked in white staring down at you; after a second look, you realize that he’s wearing a mask over his face. He’s looking down at you with a strange combination of interest and scrutiny.

“…Hello?” You choke out, once you manage to accept just what you’re seeing. This guy—whoever he is—is ridiculously tall and looks entirely unfamiliar. In fact, he doesn’t look human at all—he has a bright halo over his head and wings extending from his shoulders.

He stares at you in disbelief when he notices that you’re looking back at him. “You can see me?” He asks, clearly surprised. “What the fuck?!” 

“Are you my guardian angel or something?” You ask, unable to hide your suspicion. You never thought guardian angels were even real; and, even if you were to think about it, you would expect a “guardian angel” to be clothed in blinding white. This guy has grey horns, golden wings, and a positively dangerous smirk. He does have that white halo, though… 

“Ugh, fucking fine,” the guy scoffs, clearly annoyed. You’re not quite sure how he’s sick of this conversation already, when it hasn’t been more than a few moments. “Yes, I am. You’re welcome, baby.” 

“Okay,” you remark, still a little unconvinced. Admittedly, the pet-name throws you for a loop—especially when you realize the guy is rather attractive, with shaggy, dusky brown hair and gleaming golden eyes. Averting your eyes, you take a look around you, only to find that everyone seems too preoccupied with the car crash to notice you talking to this strange “angel”—if that’s really what he is. Or, even more frightening… you may be the only one able to see him. You try to collect your thoughts and one question immediately comes to mind. “If you’re my guardian angel, then why are you so…?” You trail off. 

“Devilishly handsome?” He winks. 

“I was going to say ‘sleazy,’” you frown. 

The guy crosses his arms over his chest. “Okay, that’s not the right way to say ‘ wow, Adam, thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re so sexy and badass.’” 

You stare at him in disbelief for a few moments, before deciding to push yourself to your feet. Even when you’re standing in front of him, the height difference between you both is stark. You squint at him for a second. “Are you sure you’re an angel?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. The guy seems a little too profane to be from Heaven. But, who knows? 

“Damn right,” the guy asserts confidently, blowing your assumptions right out of the water. “I’m the angel. Adam’s the name, pulling bitches is the game.” 

While you want to focus on that horrid last part of his statement, your attention is captured by his name: Adam. Is he the first human—that Adam? “You’re the Adam?” You question. “Like, Adam and Eve?”

The smug grin on the angel’s face promptly vanishes. “Ugh, this was going so well,” Adam groans raspily. “Don’t fucking mention my ex-wife, dude. She’s a real piece of work.”

“If you say so,” you acquiesce. This entire conversation is giving you whiplash. You wonder just how you got yourself into this situation. And while you’re grateful that this guy saved you, you hadn’t expected to be stuck in an interaction with him. You really just want to go home—this day has been a nightmare, and you want nothing more than to jump into bed and sleep. 

“I do say so,” he preens. Wow, this guy’s ego is extremely inflated. You’re not sure you’ve ever met someone so cocky and arrogant before. 

“Well… Thanks for saving my life, I guess?” You remark uneasily, taking a casual half-step backwards and hoping he doesn’t notice. You’ve been patiently waiting for the conversation to end, but somehow it’s still going—and you’re nearly at the point of just walking away and ignoring him. 

“You’re fucking welcome, shrimp,” Adam responds. You ignore the dig. The guy is unnaturally tall—far surpassing the height of even the tallest humans. He must be eight or nine feet tall, at least. 

“Well, I have to get home, so…” You give an awkward wave and turn to walk away. You don’t make it for more than a few steps before you notice a presence behind you. Adam is following you, you realize with dread. “Um, what are you doing?” You ask. 

“Following you, dipshit,” he scoffs, as if the question is stupid. “This has never happened before. I don’t know how to get back up to Heaven yet.”

“Great.” You groan, resolving yourself to a chaotic day. 

Why am I doing this again? You ask yourself as you stare at the angel walking around your apartment. You don’t realize that you utter that question aloud until you hear Adam speak. “Because you’re nice and hot and smart and totally my type?” 

“Nice try,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest and resolutely pretending that his remark doesn’t make your heart race. He’s the type of person to flirt with anyone—hell, anything —that has a pulse. “Flattery won’t get you very far.” 

“It’s true, though” Adam insists confidently, “And you can take my word for it, ‘cause there are some real nasty bastards up in Heaven.” You watch as he continues to inspect your apartment, opening your cabinets and drawers and ultimately having zero respect for your privacy. You’re suddenly immensely grateful that you don’t have much to hide—your apartment is pretty ordinary-looking. 

“So… when do you go back?” You not-so-subtly ask, as he continues looking around without permission. 

“Trying to kick me out?” He grins, seeing through your rather pathetic attempt to hide your irritation. Adam shuts the drawer he was searching through and shrugs. “Not sure. I’ve never been to the human realm before; this shit blows.” He punctuates the statement with a heavy eye-roll. 

“That’s not helpful,” you frown concernedly. It may be no big deal for him—he has all the time in the world to return to Heaven, considering he’s already in the afterlife. But you have a life, a job, and things to do. You don’t have the time or energy (or patience) to stumble through reorganizing your entire life just to fit an angel in it. 

“I don’t fucking know!” He practically screeches, a sudden switch into extreme defensiveness. Adam must notice you watching him, because he turns around and meets your gaze. “For once. Maybe even the first time. But I know everything else, so don’t get used to it.” He’s quick to add. You’re starting to worry that your eyes will get stuck in the back of your head—from how much you’ve been rolling your eyes at his inane comments. 

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a pain in the ass?” You mutter darkly. 

“Without lubrication, yeah.” You don’t bother dignifying that comment with a response. You instead shake your head relentingly and tell him you have a pullout bed on the couch, to which he complains incessantly before you offer sleeping on the street as an alternative. 

Still processing everything that happened, you tell Adam you need to be alone and lock yourself in your room. Just a few hours ago, you were living your life as normal. Your guardian angel saved your life, but now he’s living here with you. You don’t remember signing up for any of this. You rub a hand over your face and try to fight off the exhaustion that has been setting in since you left work. 

Eventually, it’s late enough for you to go to bed—and you fall asleep hoping that you’ll wake tomorrow morning to an empty apartment, blissfully free of a certain angel. 

But the universe is not so merciful, and you see Adam sleeping on the couch when you walk out of your room and towards the kitchen. You try to move quietly—so as to not disturb him—but he must be a light sleeper, because suddenly he’s up on his feet and chastising you for being too loud. You head to work already feeling tired, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of your day. 

The longer Adam stays at your apartment, the more you learn about him. For example, you learn that Adam is an incessant flirt (although that was clear from the first few moments you met). You also learn that he enjoys scaring the absolute shit out of you. Sometimes, you’ll get home from work and find yourself in an empty apartment. You’ll forget that you’re housing a goliath of a “guardian angel,” until said angel seeps out of the shadows and screams at you, cackling maniacally as you regain your breath. 

Adam isn’t a great roommate, either—he’s messy, doesn’t have very many boundaries, and has no qualms about invading your personal space. He has a ton of annoying habits.  Even so, you suppose it’s not the worst situation you could find yourself in. Plus, as much as you hate to admit it, it’s kind of nice to have company when you get home from a particularly long day at work. You can vent to him about some dumbass you work with and he won’t hesitate to insult them with you. 

Although… Adam doesn’t pay you. He doesn’t have any human money. You’re not even sure if Heaven has currency, and you keep forgetting to ask. All you know is that he’s living here for free—practically mooching off of you. And, for the first few weeks, it really does feel like he’s taking advantage of your kindness—as he eats all of your groceries, never cleans up after himself, constantly plays your Nintendo Switch without asking you for permission… The list goes on. 

After more than three weeks of that rather grating behavior, you sit him down at the table in the dining room and try to establish some ground rules. If he is going to continue staying with you, he has to: (1) clean up after himself, which includes everything from washing the clothes you bought for him at the thrift store to doing his dishes; (2) write what he wants on the grocery list, so you won’t come home to an empty fridge and pantry; (3) use his own separate account for your Switch, which you so graciously made for him; and (4) limit how many times he scares you to a few times per week. 

You think these demands are perfectly reasonable, but judging from the way he stares at you for a moment before laughing in your face, Adam has never respected someone else’s rules. You don’t break eye contact with him, despite wanting nothing more than to look away from his increasingly intimidating gaze. Eventually, Adam must sense that you’re not budging on these points, because he mutters something about bossy landlords—to which you snarkily remind him that landlords have paying tenants, and that he is living under your roof for free. He shuts up after that. 

After that conversation, things get better. Slowly but surely, Adam begins to adjust his behavior to be moderately less annoying. You get the feeling that being annoying is one of his core personality traits, but at the very least you’ve prevented that from affecting your lifestyle. Unsurprisingly, the angel doesn’t follow all of the rules perfectly. Ironically, it seems that Rule No. 4—limiting how often he scares the life out of you—is the most difficult one for him to follow. The fucker is constantly appearing behind you and ripping the breath from your chest. But, you respect that Adam is trying, and the two of you gradually learn to live with one another. 

But things come to an unfortunate boiling point one evening as you’re getting ready to go out for dinner. You’ve attempted to tame your hair into something slightly more styled than normal and you’ve used your rather pricey cologne [a miniscule amount of it, admittedly]. You have your keys, your pepper spray in case your date goes awry, and your phone. You’re inspecting your closet in an attempt to decide on an outfit when you hear Adam enter the room. 

You turn around to face him, realizing that he looks skeptical as his gaze inspects your form. “Where the hell are you going?” He asks, evidently noticing that you’re preparing to leave. You suppose it is rather unusual for you to be leaving home in the evening like this—typically, once you leave work, you stay home for the rest of the night. 

“I’m going on a date,” you respond, picking out a shirt and pants and folding them over your arm. 

“A date?” Adam scoffs. “Your ugly ass? Please.”

You don’t bother acknowledging that remark, instead moving to the bathroom. You change and brush your teeth, before walking back out to your room. You’ll just pretend that your giant angelic roommate—the one who still doesn’t pay rent, by the way—isn’t here. Unfortunately, you don’t get very far, because Adam continues speaking the moment you exit the bathroom. 

“Hey, there isn’t-” Adam begins, turning around to face you. Whatever he means to say fades to obscurity as he stares at you. For a painful moment, the two of you are trapped in a tense silence. Just as it grows to be unbearable, Adam scoffs. “This is for him? Fucking Tom?” Wait… How does he know your date’s name? You squint at him suspiciously, before realizing that he’s holding your phone and evidently looking through your messages. 

“Hey, give me that-” You say with wide eyes, reaching for your phone. 

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”Adam recites, scrolling through the messages from the guy you’re going on a date with. There’s a cruel amusement gleaming in his eyes. “There’s no fucking way.” He cackles. 

You stare at him in shocked silence, forced to listen as he rips apart this guy you haven’t even met yet. “Are you done yet?” You eventually ask, when it seems like he’s losing steam. “I have to go, give me that-” You hiss, annoyed and frustrated. His grip is inhumanly tight as he clutches your phone; you have no idea how he hasn’t broken it yet. 

“No way, sweetheart,” he grins, a malicious and cruel smile. “This is the most fun I’ve had in years ,” he says, continuing to scroll through your conversation, “Besides, why are you meeting with this guy if you don’t even know him in the first place?”

That’s the whole point of the date: to get to know Tom. You try to take a deep breath and remain calm. “You’re my ‘guardian angel,’ not my mother,” you feel the need to say, when his eye contact is growing a bit too intense and prolonged. 

“Wow, strange, that doesn’t sound like gratitude,” Adam frowns, tapping a finger against his chin. 

You grit your teeth. Unless you’re able to sneak around this nine-foot fucking demon looming in the doorway—because really, he’s not acting like much of an angel right now—you’re going to miss your date. You try to make a grab for your phone one more time, but Adam’s grip remains steady. There’s no way you’re getting it back, judging from both his immensely strong grasp and the determined smirk on his face. 

Defeat sets in, followed by prickling embarrassment and fury. “You know what?” You say, your voice cracking in your frustration. “Fine. Fine. You win. Okay?” You leave your room and head out to the living room, desperate for some privacy. Adam either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, because he follows behind you. You feel tears falling down your face before you can stop them. You feel so helpless. This guy swooped into your life and fucked everything up, just for his own amusement. 

“Are you crying because of that loser?” Adam asks, surprise coloring his voice. 

“I’m crying because of you!” You seethe, glaring at him. You wipe your eyes with the back of your sleeve. “You ruined my night. And I genuinely wanted to get to know Tom, but you’ve fucked that up too!” This is like an emotionally manipulative relationship, you think to yourself, but without the relationship. So really, it’s just emotionally manipulative. You don’t give Adam a chance to defend himself, instead pushing past him and going back into your room, slamming the door shut behind you.

You flop onto your bed and curl onto your side, unable to stop the tears sliding down your cheeks. You know it’s a somewhat insignificant thing to be upset about, but you can’t help it. The way Adam just completely decimated your plans, with all the confidence of someone who has never once been questioned, someone who has always been looked up to and venerated and-

You huff and push yourself back up to a sitting position, grabbing the nearby tissue box and blowing your nose. You’re still furious with Adam, of course, but you’d rather just not acknowledge him right now. Even the mere thought of him now is enough to send new tears slipping down your cheeks. 

You lie awake a bit longer than usual that night, feeling unspeakably restless. Frustrated, you stare up at the ceiling and try to think about something other than the horrible evening you just had. Eventually, you drift off into sleep—albeit with dry eyes and anger still prickling at your core. 

Against all odds, you manage to have a relatively restful sleep, and you wake to the smell of pancakes wafting through your apartment. That immediately concerns you, and you get out of bed with fear drumming in your chest. Did you leave the stove on? Is  something burning? You stumble out to the kitchen, only to find Adam standing with his back to you, looking down at a griddle that you don’t remember purchasing. 

“Adam?” You ask, blinking traces of sleep from your eyes. Adam stiffens and turns around, an uncharacteristically weak smile flickering on his face before it’s replaced with his trademark wide grin. 

“Hey,” he remarks, turning around to flip a few pancakes. When Adam turns back around to look at you, you realize that the apron he’s wearing says Kiss the Cook. You feel a disbelieving laugh crawl out of your throat before you can stop it. 

“Where’d you get that apron?” You ask, knowing damn well you don’t own an apron like that. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he grins, which naturally just worries you more. You take a deep breath and go back to your room to change. When you return to the kitchen, there’s a stack of pancakes on the counter—evidently for you. You grab a few pancakes, a plate, and utensils, before settling at the table and beginning to eat. You keep yourself occupied throughout the meal with Youtube videos, but you’re still unable to avoid the tension settling in the air. 

When you finish eating, you do your dishes before thanking Adam for the meal. Before you can retreat back to the solitude of your room, Adam takes a deep breath as if preparing himself to speak. 

“So…” He starts, “This is hard for me to say………” His voice is almost entirely devoid of emotion. Before you can think about that any longer, he continues speaking. Is he about to apologize? Somehow, you doubt it. “I’m not sorry for what I did.” And there it is. You’re not surprised; you’re just disappointed. You immediately move to leave and his eyes widen. “Wait. No, that’s- Hey, I’m trying to apologize here!”

“Apologizing typically starts with ‘I’m sorry,’” you say, glaring at him. 

“Fine,” Adam says with an eye-roll, “I didn’t want you going on that date. Okay?”

“Why?” You ask. You deserve to know the rationality behind his actions—if there even was any. The angel’s eyes are gleaming (with what emotion, you’re not quite sure).

“I’m your guardian angel,” Adam reminds you, “I’m supposed to protect you from harm.” That’s a load of bullshit. You turn around again, fully intent on barricading yourself in your room and never coming out. “Hey, hey, hey-!” He sputters. Adam takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Damn it! Fine. I didn’t want you to go on that date because you’re out of his league.”

That statement only confuses you further. Tom was an attractive guy, and he seemed nice. Why would you be out of his league? “Then who’s in my league?” You sputter, feeling extremely lost. “You?” You scoff. 

“Yes!” He exclaims with so much vehemence that it startles you. “I mean, no! Fuck, why is this so difficult? Okay. Listen… I rescheduled your date with Tom. You’re gonna meet with him today, and wear that sexy ass outfit you had on yesterday.”

“Really?” You ask, still skeptical. You want to believe the angel, but you can’t help but think of his actions last night—the unflappable determination on his face as he wrecked your plans for the night. Adam got some sort of thrill out of ruining your night, and that still concerns you. 

“Really,” the angel assures you, tossing you your phone. You completely forgot he had it. You remember trying to wrench it out of his grip; when you stormed off to your room, he must’ve still had it. “Check your messages.” You obey and open the text conversation. 

Yesterday, 2:45 p.m. Tom: Looking forward to it.  Yesterday, 4:42 p.m. You: Hey, I hate to do this, but do you mind if we reschedule for tomorrow? My roommate got sick and I need to look after him. Tom: Sure thing. Same time? You: Sounds good. 

“Oh,” you remark aloud, lost for words. 

“So go on your date and have fun,” Adam continues. “With- with Tom.” The latter statement is spoken with a decent amount of venom, and Adam averts his eyes with a surprisingly irritated expression on his face. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, you busy yourself with preparing for the date, equal parts anticipation and something frighteningly similar to appreciation warring in your chest. You shouldn’t be holding any sort of appreciation for Adam’s actions—he was just righting his own mistake. Even so… You sigh and push aside any thoughts of Adam, instead busying yourself with preparing. When you’re finally ready, you walk out of your room and head for the side table—where your pepper spray, phone, and keys still remain from the night before. 

You glance around the space, finding Adam sitting in front of the television and playing video games. “I’m heading out,” you decide to tell him. 

“Have fun,” the angel says, not bothering to look away from his game. You take a deep breath and leave your apartment, locking your door behind you. Your date is waiting outside, supposedly.

The night passes by frighteningly fast; two hours later, you’re unlocking your front door, shutting it behind you, and trudging into your apartment with severely dampened spirits. You’re unsurprised to find Adam still playing games on your Nintendo Switch. His back is turned and you feel your throat burning. “Hey,” he says, focused on the game. “How’d it go?”

“You called it,” you murmur frustratedly. “You were right. I should’ve listened.” Your eyes are burning now too. Your voice sounds foreign to your ears. 

It evidently takes Adam a moment to process what you just said, but you immediately notice the moment he comprehends it. The room falls eerily silent and you watch the television screen for a moment. (Meanwhile, Adam is staring ahead in complete shock, surprised as to how someone could have fumbled the bag so badly.) Adam then turns around, his game entirely abandoned. “What did that bastard do?” He hisses. “God damn it, I’m going to murder him. He’s going straight to Hell!”

“It’s- I don’t know,” you choke out, placing your hands on the back of the couch. Tears are falling down your face now, despite your best attempts to keep them in. “Maybe it’s my fault.” You murmur.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely not,” Adam declares with an unreasonable amount of confidence. “You’re the closest fuckin’ thing to perfection; there’s no way in Heaven or Hell that it was your fault.” You want to believe him, but you don’t. You can’t—not after how badly the night went. 

You’re still reeling, so you decide to sit down next to Adam on the couch. For a long moment, the two of you stare ahead silently as the Animal Crossing: New Horizons music plays in the background. Eventually, Adam continues playing and you watch as he controls a purple-skinned avatar with golden eyes, black wings, and a white halo. 

Sharing the silence with Adam is nice, but you soon find it more and more difficult to stay awake through it. You’re growing tired—your exhaustion from earlier catching up to you—and your eyelids are starting to sting from fatigue. You’re leaning back against the couch cushions, dangerously close to leaning on Adam’s shoulder. Your limbs feel as heavy as bricks and within moments, you’re surrendering to the urge to succumb to the darkness and the magnetic sensation pulling you to rest your head on the angel’s shoulder. 

The next morning you wake up in your bed, despite having no recollection of walking back to your room. That particular mystery quickly fades to the back of your mind once you arrive at work, however. The day seems to drag, but finally, after a seemingly infinite amount of time, you finish your work and can go home to relax. 

“Hey,” you say as you enter your apartment after work, surprised to find the living room empty. Typically, you’d see Adam watching television at this time. “Adam?” You ask. There’s no response. You shrug off your jacket and hang it on your coat rack, before walking through the living room and into the dining room. 

To your surprise, you find your table candlelit, with boxes of takeout from your favorite restaurant scattered around its surface. “Hey, you’re back.” Adam says. Despite the fact that he probably didn’t mean to scare you, the sudden reveal of his presence is enough to send your heart racing—if only for a brief moment. You still can’t quite believe what you’re seeing; noticing your confusion, Adam continues—sounding almost apprehensive. “I thought… you deserve a nice dinner, since your date didn’t go well.” He breaks off for a moment, a truly murderous expression on his face. Adam shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts, before motioning to the takeout boxes and looking at you expectantly. “Did I get your order right?” You squint at the boxes and nod; he grins. “Hell yeah! Am I the fucking best or what?”

You smile and shake your head in disbelief. You move to sit down, but Adam tugs you back. “Hey, hey, not so fast,” he admonishes you, before placing a hand on the chair and pulling it out for you. You roll your eyes fondly and sit down at the proffered seat. Moments later, Adam takes a seat across from you. The two of you quickly dig into your food and you fall into idle conversation about your day. 

When you’re both finished eating, Adam clears his throat purposefully. “So,” he starts, “I know I was kind of a dick, but you should go on an actual date with me.” He sounds forceful, but you’re pretty sure he’s just uncertain. 

“Sure,” you agree rather easily. Despite all you’ve been through—all the missteps Adam has made, especially when you were trying to date other people—you like the thought of being in a relationship with him. Adam is frighteningly easy to be around, and underneath that prickly, jerkish exterior is a person who genuinely cares about you. At least, that’s what you hope.  

“Oh hell yeah!” He fist-pumps, making you chuckle. “You’re about to get wined and dined, bitch. Get ready for a four-course meal—I’ll be the perfect fucking gentleman. Chivalry and all that shit.”

“You do realize chivalry has been dead for, like, centuries,” you say before you can stop yourself. 

Adam groans dramatically. “You know what I fucking mean,” he chastises you. And, surprisingly, you think you actually do know what he means. He wasn’t referring to chivalry in the antiquated sense, but more in the sense that every person deserves to be treated nicely. That’s a surprisingly decent perspective, coming from him of all people. “I’m going to be so fucking nice, you’re going to be falling at my feet.” You both know that is definitely not going to happen. You don’t let Adam always have his way—you don’t let him step all over you. And, maybe, that’s one of the reasons he likes you. Maybe, just maybe, he needs someone who is just as independent and stubborn as he is. 

You find yourself looking forward to learning more about this mysterious guardian angel of yours.

endnotes: oh my god, they were roommates.

y'all, i can't believe i wrote 5k words for this bastard.

thanks for reading! <3

check out my other works, sorted by fandom.

general taglist: @its-ares @excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @kingkoku @the-ultimate-librarian @gayaristocrat

friendly reminder that i don't give permission for my writing to be shared to other sites, stolen, copied, translated, or used in any way. thanks!

[dlavend3r]

Got an idea for a fic abt Adam!!

Adam is the all narcissistic person that he is feeling a bit... Self-concious about his weight? He thinks he's too.. Fat? Which he really doesn't like because, to his own standards, he's the hottest guy to ever exist, being firest man and all. And him not being all buff/skinny as he was in Eden, really.. It affects his mental health. The only person he feels okay talking about this with is his best friend, the reader! Just an idea, tho, and it can be an Adam x Reader or just those two being really close besties, lol. The reader could be that one friend in a friend group that is the therapist.

Like I said, juuust an idea ^^

Tysm for the request! I hope you enjoy it 🌙. Don’t forget my requests are open!

Self conscious! Adam x reader

Recently Adams been feeling down. Down on himself, down on his appearance. Oh especially his appearance. His the man, the first dick. He’s supposed to be the idolized man. Big, tall and buff. Not…. Whatever he is now. Anytime Adam has to look at his body all he think is how he let himself go. How chubby he’s gotten. How it doesn’t look right for his image. The big dog image.

Adam doesn’t feel like he can be the man, the first dick unless he’s perfect. From top to bottom. All he ever did was workout, but it never made a difference. Well not in his eyes. He can see that he can do more, that he can do better. And even if he did workout he’d just relapse on the routine, which made him hate himself more. He wanted this certain image that he couldn’t achieve. It all comes in circle. Adam sees a way to improve himself but his self destructive nature breaks it and makes hate himself to where he needs yo improve himself more only to fall into a loop over and over again.

Adam knew he needed to talk to someone. He had to but he couldn’t. That was until he met you. He saw how easy it was for him to be him around you. You didn’t judge him, you listened. And not listened because you needed to, you listened to him because you wanted to. This has made your relationship with Adam grew closer. He felt like he can be himself with you, and that you wouldn’t judge. You know you wouldn’t judge him, and he knew that as well.

“I just…. I have to be this chad you know. How would it look for my image that the first man, the first ever dick isn’t some fucking big buff dude. That he looks like a fucking discord moderator” He said to you, “I look like I have a fucking e kitten waiting for me to pay them for feet pics. That’s not me, I don’t want to pay for feet pics…. Unless they’re hot I mean obviously. But I don’t want to be known as a feet man. I want to be know as a big dick man, you see what I mean” Adam finished his rant with a loud ass slurp from his drink.

You nodded as you listen, “I mean there’s nothing wrong with being…. A discord moderator, or well. There is in some way but the way you look doesn’t really matter. Do you want my honest opinion?” You asked him. Adam nodded, “straight honest, no fucking sugar coating anything. Does it look like I can be on 600 pound life?”

“No Adam. You look amazing. Yes you’ve gain some chub, but hey a very well fed man is a powerful man. In the past, if you were chubby than that means you are powerful and you rule. Do you want to rule? Do you want to be the big powerful man you are?” You asked him, “fuck yeah I do!” Adam said in return, “than don’t change anything, you’re already powerful, having your own team of exterminators, being the first man. That’s some pretty powerful shit. Your voice is always heard. You are amazing the way you are Adam. If you want to work out, go do that than. But don’t sit here and judge yourself because you ate well, or because you don’t have a six pack anymore. You are amazing Adam. Inside and out”

Adam sat there astonished, the speech you gave hit him. It wasn’t ‘I Have A Dream’ good but it was good nether less. “Thank you” Adam said. Your speech didn’t clear his self consciousness but it did help him see things from a different perspective. He was so focused on the negatives that he just needed to see it from a different side.

“You’re amazing you know that.” Adam said to you, “I know” you answered as you gave a smile back. “I know you know that.” Adam said back.

[drewdrop7]

Sinner Adam x Male reader

Summary: Adam hates everything in the hotel but you.

Kiss me in the bar baby

Adam hated that he came back as a sinner. Adam hates that Charlie took pity for the brunette and let him stay in the hotel. Adam especially hated that he found you, a demon so attractive. You are sitting at the bar nursing your cup of whiskey when Adam sits by you.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite asshole.” you said

“You fucking dream of seeing my asshole.” Adam said rolling his eyes.

“Well maybe I can make that dream come true tonight.” you said putting a hand on his knee.

Adam bites his lip and feels the blood rush below his belt. You let go his leg and let out a chuckle.

“You know I love fucking with you. Want a drink dude?” you ask

“uh yeah. whatever is fine.” Adam said

You order him a drink and ask him about his day. You listen as he complains and Adam can tell you actually care when you listen as you make eye contact. You try to help by cracking jokes with the brunette and he can’t help but a hand on your shoulder as he laughs. Neither of you know how it happened but one second you two are laughing, then you get lost in Adam’s eyes and then you two are kissing. It’s everything you imagined it would be.

“Oh fucking finally.” Angel says walking over.

You two pull apart and just stare at one another not knowing what to say. Adam’s face is expressionless and he’s as still as a statue.

“Adam.. say something.” you said

You start doubting everything. Maybe you shouldn’t have kissed the former angel.

“fuck I’m sorry dude, I shouldn’t have done that-“ You start to panic

you stand up and look at the first man who’s just looking at you. You tug at your hair frustrated with yourself.

“I don’t know what came over me and your lips just looked so inviting. Fuck shut up (y/n).” you start to ramble.

“I’m not upset dickface.” Adam finally says.

You look at him and he grabs your hands in his.

“I was just surprised it happened. I’m down to make out with that sexy ass face of yours whenever.” Adam said giving you one of his charming smiles.

“suck his face off” Angel encourages.

“stay out of their business.” Husk tells the spider demon who only rolls his eyes.

“well how about I suck more than your face?” you ask the brunette.

Adam smirks and throws you over his shoulder and hurries off to his room.

[jay-m3]

Role-playing

Scenario: You get them to role-play as your favorite characters in the bedroom

Male reader! Warning* Language, NSFW themes (Heavily implied), Implied cross dressing Characters: Alastor, Adam, Lucifer, and Vox

Alastor

It was a hard feature to get Alastor to agree to do role-playing. Even worst as you suggested for him to dress up. But with a lot of obeying orders like a good boy and batting your eyelashes, he finally caves in.

"If I do this...role-playing, you will owe me a favor." Alastor states, taking the clothing that you bought just for him. He looks at the suit, making sure not to wrinkle it even though, it will soon be tossed away as the role-playing progress.

"Uh huh, yeah. Go put it on!" You say dismissively, wanting to see how he looks. You spent a lot of money for this.

Giving a silent sigh, he makes his way behind the screen room divider to change.

"And who am I dressing as?" Alastor asks, stepping around the divider to show you the outfit.

"Sebastian Michaelis!" You squeal out, rushing in front of him to look how the outfit fits. Which was perfect! Of course, going to the tailor that Alastor usually goes to was a smart plan since they already know of his measurements.

"The one in your comics, yes?" He asks, basking in your attention. He won't admit it though the outfit may be for a lesser person of power, it was comfortable and formal. The only thing he was not appreciative is the gloves. Instead of his black gloves that reaches his mid forearm was white wrist gloves. White was not his color.

"It's called Manga and yes. Sebastian is a very powerful butler demon. He's very cunning, manipulative, and charming. So I don't think you'll have any trouble fitting that role." You hummed out, adjusting his tie that was perfectly in place but you just wanted to touch already.

"Well then," Alastor pulls you in by the waist, "as a butler I should start doing the task that is wanted of me." He takes your chin in his hands, lifting your face to make you're eyes make contact with his own. His natural red eye color a perfect match for Sebastian.

Adam

"I feel stupid." Adam whines out behind the closed door. He's hiding in the bathroom after taking the costume with him to change.

"Oh, I'm sure you look amazing. Just come out!" You encouraged, sitting down infront of the bed where it was facing the door that Adam was behind.

"I don't look nothing like the guy." He complains before a thud is heard and the door shakes a little.

You sighed, knowing that he must have tapped the door with his head, a little bit too aggressively.

"So? I didn't look anything like Misa Misa but I still wore it last time." Last time was his choice of what you guys do in the bedroom. He picked out Misa Amane from Death Note. Apparently, he has a thing for goth chicks, also stating that your dick in panties was a bonus for him.

"Ugh! Fine. Just don't luagh. I swear, the things I fucking do for you." You were in mid eye roll when Adam opens the door. The sight of him makes you hold in your breath. There he was, in a Iron Man costume that you and him worked hard in finding. It wasn't amazing like those cos players but way better than the Halloween version.

"Go ahead. Luagh-" Adam didn't get to finish as you start to kiss him. Immediately, he holds your waist, pulling you close as you both make out. Your hands cupping his face, feeling the freshly styled facial hair that he formed to a goatee for this day. This man let it all grow just for you.

"Fuck." Adam gasps, pulling back to take a breath. Looking down at your flushed state, a smirk forms on his face.

"I'm Tony Stark and I've saved my best weapon for you."

Lucifer

You and Lucifer are in the beginning of love making. Kissing each other passionately, clothes already thrown to who knows where. His hands running up and down your sides, sending thrill of arousal mixed with tingles that supposed to make you luagh from the ticklish sensation. As it progress, you pull away, looking down at him from your place straddling his lap.

He quirks a brow at you, wondering why you pulled away, leaning back with a shy look instead of attacking his neck with love bites.

"Is something wrong?" He asks, running his hands down your thighs to soothe you and himself.

"I just...I want to try something new." You mumble out, looking away from him. The heat that's spread on your form rises. Making your skin fill in goosebumps from the thought in your mind.

"Oh? Tell me baby. I'm all up for it." Lucifer states, feeling warmth flood his system at the idea of you asking him many things that he can provide. This whole sex thing is nothing new, nor kinks. He has done many things in the past, some questionable but when you have centuries of free time, one gets bored.

"You know how you can shape shift...right?" You ask like it was something new to him even though it's one of his powers that he usually uses just cuase he can.

He nods staying silent, letting you keep the pace with your thoughts. As he sees you struggle, you lean over to the bedside table and grab your phone. You type in Voogle and show the image to Lucifer.

"...You want me to shape shift to Lucifer Morningstar in that TV show?" You groan, throwing the phone to the side and cover your face in embarrassment.

"I know, I know...but at least it's still basically you." You mumble out, more to yourself before you feel a slight shift under you. Uncovering your eyes, you come face to face with the Lucifer that the TV series betrays him as.

"Now then..." Lucifer purrs, getting into character before he flips you both over so he was now on top.

"Tell me, what do you desire?"

Vox

Role-playing wasn't something that was talked or thought about in your relationship. Until Vox noticed your obsession with a character that you'll bring up time to time. Even collected figurines and posters.

He hasn't payed much attention to it but the more you obsessed over this fictional character, the more thought of just figuring out what gift he can give you about this character for your birthday. You basically have almost all the merchandise. A room dedicated for your obsession, filled and nicely decorated.

As he enters the room, he takes a picture and image search this bitch. Immediately, he gets taken to many sites and other images about this character. Which leads to a deep dive of cosplays.

"Vox?" You call out, walking in the bedroom to find your boyfriend. You already searched the whole penthouse except here.

"Hey." A familiar voice that wasn't Vox makes you perk up. Turning around, there leaning on the door frame acting cool and nonchalant, arms crossed is your boyfriend dressed as the one and only Kakashi Hatake.

"How did you do that!" You rush toward him, a big smile plastered on. You don't know if to luagh or fan boy.

Vox takes in your reaction, feeling out of his comfort zone but the stars in your eyes makes him relax. He's sure you're referring to his screen. Instead of his usual face, he digitalized his screen to form Kakashi's face or half of it since the mask was in the way.

"A whole team of animators and lots of replacements." Vox even changed his voice filter to sound like the ninja.

While you admire him, he takes a step forward to lean close to your face, seeing how you hold your breath.

"Would you like to act out a scene from my book, Icha Icha Paradise?" He asks seductively, pulling out a replica of the book from his back pocket and taps your head with it.

[man3at3r-mp4]

𝔅𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔞𝔪𝔟 hazbin hotel x male reader : Chapter Ⅳ - overture

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧 & 𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐨𝐧

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

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Blame Chris for me not being able to update guys :((/jay

I'm sorry this was really overdue.

‘*lamb*’

That word echoed in your head, as you suddenly sat up, panting as you glanced around the room. Shit. Did you fall asleep?

God, you groaned as you rubbed your head. “What the hell was that dream even about…”

You've been getting a bunch of those strange dreams lately. Almost always in Eden, which was strange because you've never been there. But why did its surroundings feel so familiar?

You glanced at the foot of your bed and saw Shelly, the blue puppy eyes staring up at you with concern.

You snorted, petting his soft fur, “I’m fine Skelly..” you said softly. The puppy’s tail began to wag enthusiastically as he barked in response.

“Mostly anyways…” you added, quietly. Your thoughts still lingered on the marriage proposal. Your mouth suddenly tastes bitter, like you had doused an entire jug of extremely sour lemonade.

You were still pissed off and rightfully so. Having your entire life signed away by your sisters wasn't on his bucket list.

Your life has always been assigned to you; what you'd do, what you'd wear. Etc. you had hoped Sara would have the decency to allow you to decide who and when you'd marry. But you supposed you were being foolish to think so.

A sudden knock at the door snapped you out of your thoughts. You groaned, you really didn't want to see anyone right now. But you knew better than to ignore whoever was at the door.

Sluggishly, you sat up from your bed and begrudgingly made your way to the door. You took in a deep breath, before opening the door.

Your smile immediately dropped as you realized who it was.

“Hey babe” Adam’s infuriating voice called out as he leaned against the doorframe; behind him you could see Lute standing there, looking just as unamused as you did.

“So like-” Before he could even finish you slammed the door in his face, or at least tried too.

Adam seemed to expect this, as he propped his foot in the gap of the door before you could fully shut it. He let out a yell of pain, “ fuck!” He growled out.

Lute quickly rushed over to her boss, “Sir, are you okay?” She asked, with genuine concern.

“Of course I'm not!” He spat, shooting a glare at the female. “Anyways…” he said, his voice slightly strained from the pain. “We really really need to talk, and I'm not taking no for an answer so get your gay ass out here.”

Your eyes narrowed at him, as you continued to try and slam the door shut; purposely using more force this time.

“OW! YOU FUCKING BI-”

You slammed the door again.

“FUCK! STOP IT!”

And again.

“YOUR MAJESTY!” Lute yelled, desperately trying to get you to stop before you crush Adam's foot until it's flatter than flat Stanley.

You did it again.

“I'll talk with you once you ask me nicely.”

“What the hell?- no-”

You slammed the door again.

“FUCK OKAY-” he wheezed out. “Please….” he said quietly.

You rose a brow, “sorry what was that?” You asked mockingly, “I can't really hear you.”

“I said..could you remove the door off my foot..” he grumbled. You remained silent, that wasn't good enough.

“Please…” he whimpered out, quietly. You heard Lute stifle a laugh from beside him. A smile made its way onto your face as you opened the door.

“Why of course, now what did you want to talk about…” it was amusing to have Adam beg you. You weren't a sadist but it was funny to have a man so narcissistic look up at you with big puppy dog eyes.

You hoped this wasn't a fetish a thing and just you having some weird psychological thing. You are not a sadist.

While Adam tried to regain his composure, Lute decided to speak on his behalf. “Well…” she began. “We’re here to ask you to accompany us to a meeting.” You crossed your arms, quirking a brow. You were kinda intrigued about what this meeting is about.

“What's this meeting about?” You questioned, one of your ears flicking as you spoke.

Lute glanced at Adam, who was still recovering from the pain. She watched as he gave her a shaky thumbs up, giving her the go ahead. She sighed, her gaze drifting back to you. “We’re having a meeting with the princess of hell about the…exterminations” she explained.

“Oh..” was all you could muster up to say, but your interest was piqued. You were aware about the exterminations, Sara had told you years ago. You didn't know why she told you specifically. But she did. She asked you to not say a word to anyone else about it, and you didn't.

As much as Sara pissed you off sometimes, especially considering your current situation. You never thought even once to spill out the little secret she told you. You thought it was fucked up, you couldn't lie. You still do, but you were so caught up in your heavenly duties, you had forgotten about them.

A sense of guilt began to wash over you, you really didn't do much to convince sera and Adam to not go through with them. You tried a few times and then just… gave up, you could've tried harder. Sure they probably wouldn't have listened, but at least you'd know you did everything you could.

Lute seemed to notice your silence, and awkwardly adjusted her uniform sleeves. “Look..” she said. “If..if you don't want to come; that's fine..I'm sure Adam would throw a fit. But I'm sure he'd calm down after I take him to the new smoothie place that opened up.” She suggested, her voice slightly cracking. You could tell she wasn't really sure what to do. But you appreciated her consideration to ensure that you were comfortable.

“No, it's fine..I'll go.” You replied softly.

“You will?” Her eyebrows rose in surprise. Adam, who had finally recovered, seemed just as surprised as she was.

“Yeah..uh…I don't know..could be interesting I guess..” you shrugged, hoping to not sound too awkward.

“Fuck yes!” Adam cheered, suddenly wrapping an arm around your neck and pulling you closer. “Alright and after we talk to this bitch, we can do some actual fun shit” he suggested.

You couldn't help but crack a small smile as Adam went on and on about some plans he had for you and him. Your gaze slowly drifted to Lute, she seemed to notice your gaze, and quickly looked away.

You snorted at her awkwardness, as you turned your attention back to Adam.

Maybe, a meeting with the princess is what you needed to find out what you were meant to do in this life. You might even go to hell on official business, and not just you fucking around with portals.

You took back what you said, this was significantly less cool than you thought.

You, Adam, and Lute were sitting in one of Heaven's multiple meeting rooms. As you waited for the princess to arrive. Oh yeah, and Adam was eating some spare ribs. He offered you some which you declined.

Apparently, neither of them had the decency to actually go to hell and speak with Charlie face to face. So you'd just have your holograms in the meeting room instead. Which as much as you wanted to curse them out for being disrespectful, you knew you had know place to speak. With all the times you've snook down to hell, you've seen Charlie's face multiple times and yet you've never taken time out of your day to actually go see her.

You shrunk back in your seat, glancing at Adam who sat at the head of the table. “Can't we-”

“Shh, hot stuff I hear footsteps.” He raised up his hand to silence you, causing you to frown.

You furrowed your brows as you watched Lute turn off the lights in the Hell meeting room, you saw no point in needing to spook her but you did little to stop them.

You glanced over at the doors direction as you heard it open and a familiar voice called out.

“Uh hello?” You watched the blonde demon step into the dark room, glancing around her surroundings. “Is anyone…here?”

The lights suddenly turned on, “Sup” he said. Charlie, clearly not expecting this, jolted as she tripped over her own feet.

“Oh shit-” you heard her say, your eyes widening as you tilted your head to make sure she was okay.

Her head then popped up from the other end of the table, her bangs ruffled and now covering her right eye. You snickered a bit as she greeted the three of you.

She quickly stood up and fixed her hair, “oh hi! I'm Charlie, my dad asked me if I could meet you” she smiled.

You found yourself frowning at Adam’s dismissive response. Your gaze shifting over to Charlie once more.

“Okay well it's nice to meet you..” she said as she furrowed her brows, clearly looking awkward. As she reached out her hand for Adam to shake.

“Totally, nice to meet you too..” Adam leaned forward to shake her hand, you frowned clearly knowing where this was going.

Charlie's hand phased through Adam’s hand, causing her to retract it almost immediately, her eyes wide. “Oooh!”

You rolled your eyes as you watched Adam cackle about how ‘ he got her’. “Did ya see that?” He leaned his head over to you.

You shook your head, your gaze falling back on Charlie. “Sorry about him..” you said, causing her to snap out of daze. “He peaked in high school, which is ironic because he didn't even go to one.” You scoffed. “Charlie right?” You asked, “I'm Y/n”

Charlie’s smile returned at your warm welcome, “nice to meet you too Y/n” she replied. She held her hand out again, on instinct.

You laughed softly, “sorry..I'm a hologram too” , your voice sounding apologetic. “But if I wasn't I'd shake your hand..”

Charlie nodded, laughing nervously. “Oh right! Sorry..”. Her eyes suddenly went wide as she processed your words. “Wait..hologram? So you guys aren't here?” She asked.

You went to reply but were cut off by Adam, “um no. You'd think we'd come down there-” you rose a brow at his usage of ‘we'. The exterminator laughed as he continued. “No, I mean I love the vibe. Love your tunes.” He pointed at the female demon, as he leaned in closer. “Pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong”

He leaned back as he pressed his cheek against the cold marble table. “But it's SUCH a bummer”

“Ugh, you rolled your eyes at his behavior. Why did he always have to act like such a child all the time? You watched as he went on for a few more seconds before Charlie responded.

“Right…” she replied, voice slightly strained. You don't blame her for being irritated. Before she jumped right back into her bubbly self again, “So! I'm glad we got this opportunity to meet! There's a project I've been working on. That I Really-” she leaned in closer, to enunciate her enthusiasm.

Adam cut her off, placing his pointer finger against her lips to silence her. “Hey hey hey..slow down-” he says. “We got time..how about we get to know each other first? How about some lunch hmm? You hungry?” He offered.

“I got you” He handed out the plate of ribs, “here's my personal favorite I got you.”

“Uh thanks..” Charlie said as she reached down to grab one.

“Charlie wait-” you went to stop her, but it was too late, her hand phased through the plate. Causing Adam to burst into a fit of laughter once more.

You and Charlie shared similar unamused looks. “I got you again BITCH!” Adam cackled. “Fuckin hilarious”

You had enough, and yanked Adam back by his collar. Causing him to yelp, “babe what the hell?”

“Can you stop acting like you just crawled out of a cheesy 80s movie and act like an adult.” You spat, causing him to roll his eyes.

“I'm just having fun..” he grumbled, like a child.

You raised a brow, “we came here for a meeting, that's why we're in a meeting room..y'know to discuss things..” you said, crossing your arms.

“And we will just chillax lamb chop~” he teased, patting your head as he wiggled out of your grip.

‘*lamb chop?*’ you thought. ‘*that's a new one’

You don't know how long it's been, but it's been at least an hour or Adam blabbering about some stupid shit no one but him would care about.

You and Charlie sat there completely bored out of your minds. You had your cheek pressed against the table, while Charlie had her head in her hand while you both listened to the angel.

“So I was playing this gig, and this virtue chick was digging on the drummer. And it's like, ‘do you KNOW who I am? I'm Adam” he stood up from his seat, as he pointed down to his pelvis. “I'm the original dick! All dicks descend from me! You think you want drummer dick? He'll no!-” Lute shook her head in agreement with Adam.

You and Charlie shared a look, as he continued.

“I'm the dick fucking master-” he took a bite of a rib as he finished. “Anyways..then we fucked..it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?”

Charlie’s eyes went wide as she suddenly realized something. “Wait- your name is Adam? Like the first man Adam? That means you-” she cut herself off as she leaned back. “Ohhhh, that explains so much…” she whispered.

You laughed at her expression, “you're telling me..” you said in agreement. Causing Adam to shoot a glare at you, “hey, you better get used to it, lamb chop.” He said, “cause you're getting married to all of this-” he ran his hands down his body to make his point clear.

“Eugh…” you groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Woah- you're marrying him..?” Charlie butted in, her eyes wide.

“Yep, he is.” Adam said, boastfully. “The original dick and the Prince of heaven getting tied down to each other.” He adds. “It's perfect, I do deserve the best.”

“Prince?” She glanced over at you in confusion. “But..I thought the Prince's name was el-” she suddenly shook her head. “Wait nevermind i'm getting side tracked”

You blinked, wondering what she was going to say? El- what? Your name's y/n, it's always been y/n. You shook your head, she's probably just remembering some things wrong.

“Well Adam sir..Mr. Adam sir” she began, standing up from her spot.

“Call me Dickmaster”

“Adam..” she said with a deadpan expression.

“You seem like a smart- we'll stand up guy!-” she began to walk closer towards him.

You crossed your arms, as you watched Adam respond once more with uninterest. You did a hand motion to urge her to keep going, which she smiled at.

“And I know you are the leader of the angels. and you're a big thinker! A revolutionary! A-A genius!”she threw her arms in her air.

“I mean your words, babe” responded Adam, as he grabbed another rib.

“Who would really love to put his name on something-”

“I love putting my name on shit! Shits the best!” He exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the table which caused you to jolt upward.

“It's the solution to our biggest problem!!!” She smiled.

“Oh herpes?” Adam sighed, “yeah that's a bitch..”.

“What?” You replied, clearly confused as to how that was the first thing he thought about.

“No! Our-” she fiddled with her fingers nervously. “Our other biggest problem!”

“Oh uh..ugly people?” He asked.

“Dude–” you interrupted, clearly irritated.

“Well you don't have to worry about that, you're the hottest piece of ass in heaven..” he winked, in your direction. Which unfortunately, caused you to blush a little, clearly embarrassed he said that right in front of Charlie.

Adam went back to guessing “Math? Global warming? Oh no wait, that's earths problem um-”

It's been 30 minutes, and Adam still hasn't figured out what Charlie meant. All three of you sat around the table once more, Charlie clearly exhausted, with her head in her palms. While you sat there, arms crossed, as your left eye twitched as Adam kept going.

“And when you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check” Charlie looked just about done, as she cradled her head in her hands. “ hey I thought you wanted equality” Adam finished, raising his voice.

“NO!” Charlie groaned out, “our shared problem of overpopulation in hell”

“Ohhhh..” Adam says, ignoring the glare you were giving him. “ Well that's not a problem! We got that covered.” He turned to face Lute. “Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?” He asked. The said angel, stepping forward as she was addressed.

“Got a good 275 this year, sir” she answered.

“275!?” Woah! Badass! Awesome job, Danger tits. Pound it” he held out his fist for a fist bump, which Lute returned. You shook your head at their behavior.

“Uh no! Not awesome. Those are my people” she placed her hands on the cold surface of the table. “You do know that right?”

“Oh yeah…” he fakes concern. “That must suck for you pfft- HAHAHA-” he laughed.

“ADAM!” You yelled at him, causing him to stop momentarily. Looking at you with genuine confusion.

“What?”

“But..these are souls…human souls” Charlie spoke, her smile turning into a frown. “Just the same as the ones that you have in heaven”

“They are not the same.” Lute spoke up. Your eyes drifting to the female exterminator. “They had their chance and they earned damnation” she said, her voice lacking any sympathy.

“You're wrong,” Charlie shook her head. “Sinners make mistakes, sure. But everyone makes mistakes ..” you glanced awkwardly to the side, lord knows you have.

“Angels don't make mistakes.” Lute retorted.

“You really think that?” Charlie narrowed her eyes. The exterminator copied her motion.

“I know that.”

“Yeah” Adam interrupted, “I've never made a mistake in my fucking life”. You shot him another glare, which he caught. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“The only reason you're still here-” lute made her way over to where Charlie sat. Her arms resting behind her back. “Is because daddy gave you and your hellborn kind from an exorcist blade.” She leaned in closer to the demon, “how does that feel?” She moved to the other side of Charlie's chair. “ to know how little you matter.”

Your eyes widened at her cruelty, you had known Lute’s distaste for demons . But you've never seen it in realtime before. Charlie shrunk back at her words, hurt clearly flashing across her face.

You frowned, giving her a sympathetic look. “Ooops~” Adam stretches back in his seat. “Almost out of time,guess we should get into it..”

“You do realize this meeting woulda been shorter if you woulda just let her start off with it” you shook your head. Adam only shrugged in response.

“Oh! Charlie perks up. “Fuck!” She practically leaped out of her chair as she rushed over to the closest seat to Adam.

“Oop- I got a lot to get through and not a lot of time, and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes ahem” she grabbed the pile of papers she brought and began.

“So hell's population is out of control” she showed a silly drawing she did of multiple sinners in hell. She ripped it off to reveal a new drawing of even more stickman sinners. “ It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll,” she gestured to her drawing. “If we rehab these sinners, and cleanse all their souls-” she threw the drawing aside to reveal the ‘Hazbin Hotel’ with a rainbow and various hearts around it. “At my Hazbin Hotel-” she rummaged through the other piles of papers. “Wait- I'm getting ahead of myself-”

She reached for another drawing of exterminators killing demons. “Right exterminations.”

Adam and Lute shared a skeptical look meanwhile you bobbed your head to the tune of Charlie’s singing.

“I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year and it must be annoying to schlep all the way here” she made a gesture with her fingers to signify the distance. “If they join you in heaven that trip disappears!” She threw both of her drawings over your heads, a rainbow and sparkles suddenly appearing between them. A sparkle landed on your nose causing you to sneeze.

“You can wave that chore farewell!” She let out a gasp. “It'll be a happy day in he-” she reached above her head to show off her final drawing of angels and demons holding hands under a rainbow.

“Let me stop you right there” Adam raised his hand, to cut her off. You could hear Charlie let out a quiet ‘oh’. “Save us all precious time” he continued.

“Okay..” Charlie says, holding her drawings close to her chest as she glanced at him nervously.

“If what you're suggesting” he placed his hands under his head, before he made a motion with his fingers of climbing. “Is letting them climb up the ladder, oh they’d rather cross the pearly gates?”

“Well I-”

“Sorry sweetie, but there's no defying their fate-” Adam suddenly flew and landed on top of the table, causing it to shake slightly. You stepped back in surprise, as you glanced up at your fiancé.

“Cause hell is forever, whether you like it or not” He crossed his arms as he stared down at Charlie. You narrowed your eyes as you heard the condescension in his tone.

“Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot.” You scowled at his words as he continued. “Cause the rules are black and white. There's no use in trying to fight it. Their burning for their lives until we kill em again!”

Charlie clenched the drawings in her hands as she went to speak up again, but was cut off once more.

“Just try to chillax babe.” He placed his hands under his chin once more, as his voice dripped with mock gentleness. “You're wasting your breath.”

“Haha..” Charlie laughed dryly, only to nearly fall back as Adam leaned forward. “Did I hear you imply that they don't deserve death?!”

Charlie stepped back as Adam and Lute stepped forward, you hesitantly followed after them as you bit your lip. Not really knowing what to do.

“Are they winners? Are they sinners? Cuz it's cut and dry-”

“Well actually if you take a look at the-” she tried to speak once more.

“Fair is fair, an eye for an eye” Adam suddenly launched into the air, his wings creating a few dust clouds.

“And when all said in done” Adam sang, his golden wings outstretched as the ‘sun' shone behind him. Charlie narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him.

“Theirs the question of fun” he clasped his hands before he used the clouds as steps as he made his way back to the ground. “And For those of us with Divine Ordainment. Extermination is entertainment!” Him and Lute flew up into the sky, as Adam continued his singing “Bow-now-now-nownow. Guitar solo, fuck yeah!” He began to play air guitar, as lute danced behind him. You and Charlie stood there watching them both with similar expressions.

“Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow” Adam floated down and landed on the table again. “Hell is forever whether you like it or not” he began to clap on beat, as suddenly golden holograms of other exterminators appeared and began to clap along with Adam as they surrounded the princess. “Hell is forever whether you like or not”

“Where did all of you people come from?” She stammered as she backed up against the door.

“Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot. Cause the rules are black and white-” they all leaned in closer to Charlie, as they completely surrounded her. You hesitantly stepped forward concern knitting your brows as you tried to get a better look at the demon.

“There's no use in trying to fight it,” Adam and lute did a fist bump “their burning for their lives until we kill them again.” Suddenly in a gust of golden magic, Adam summoned his electric guitar. “Fuckin hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot” as he played the guitar, the golden exterminators lost interest in Charlie as they flew up to join him.

“So give up your dumb endeavor. 'cause you don't have a shot!” Your eyes flickered to Charlie flinching as you watched her irritation grow. Her hair floating upwards as her horns began to grow, her eyes glowing a vibrant red. “Ughhh.” You heard her groan.

“ long as I got your attention, I should probably mention.” You yelped, as one of the exterminators grabbed your wrist and forced you to fly up with the others. “That we made the determination” you watched as Adam made his guitar disappear, only for him to replace it with a golden scroll.

“To move up the next extermination!” He leaned forward and revealed the scroll, showing her it read ‘I do what I fucking want’. Your eyes widened at this, you weren't made aware of this, and Charlie was just as shocked as you were.

“What-?” She tried to reach up to grab the scroll. “Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts-” he suddenly ‘grabbed’ Charlie’s wrist. “It's only been a week, but we’ll be back in SIX MONTHS!” He then threw her and her drawings out of the meeting room.

You gasped, flying down as you tried to worm your way past Adam, but he took this the wrong way as he used his wing to push you closer to him, in an embrace as he finished his guitar riff.

You watched as Charlie desperately called out for him to wait, as the door shut on her.

As Adam finished his riff, the guitar disappeared.

You had enough, “what the hell was that?!” You spat angrily, causing him to raise a brow. “What? That sickass guitar solo? Did it get you creaming in your shorts? Because that was the point”

“No!” You growled. “You just- you just threw her out!” You gestured to the door. “You barely let her speak, you wasted half of this meeting on random bullshit no one but you cares about!”

Adam narrowed his eyes, “Sorry, I think my ears must be ringing cause it sounds like you're bitching to me about treating a demon like a demon.” He sassed, crossing his arms.

Your hands clenched into fists, “if you were just going to tell her that you were going to kill her people in six months then why did you waste this time and give her false hope?”

“I didn't do anything..” he shrugged. “It's not my fault that dumb bimbo thought I'd actually listen to her.”

You wanted to rip your hair out, “god! You're such a dick Adam!”

“Thanks, I am the original after all. I'm sorry I'm not a pansy and didn't lie to her face, lying is a demon's job. Look, I don't get why you're so upset . I told her how it is.”

You growled, he just wasn't getting it. You were sure he'd never will. “Fuck you.” You spat.

“That's what I'm trying to get you do, babes”

“Ugh! I'm done here, if you need me. You can go to sera since my opinion clearly doesn't matter to you anyways…” you grumbled as you exited the meeting room.

As you made your way back to your room, your eyes glanced up at one of the stained glass windows on the wall, it was of heaven and hell. The window depicted the vibrancy and holiness of heaven as the angels sent Lilith and Lucifer down to hell; while hell was painted grimly and monstrously dark as possible.

You sighed, you recognized a figure, stopping in front of the window. You gently reached up to caress Lucifer’s face, before you glanced at Lilith. You felt a sudden pull to two figures, you didn't know why.

“What secrets are they hiding from me?” You asked no one in particular. “Why do I feel like I know you.”

Please forget that I've been edging yall with this chapter for 4 months mkay thanks bbg. Also please give me theories in the comments I love seeing ppl theorize . Also join my discord <333

@king-zacharyy @mixplara @lukerycyja-reblogs

[experimentfae]

Adam x Sinner Male Reader love at first sight hcs :3

Adam x Sinner! Male!Reader

Headcanon/romantic

Adam first meet you when he was on his annual extermination.

When he first saw you hiding under some fallen rumble he was gonna go for the kill but soon stopped himself when he saw your face

He felt his face heat up but not knowing why to be exact

So he choose to leave you be which left you puzzled but thankful

Back at heaven he couldn’t wrap his mind around why he let you go, why he didn’t kill you when he had the chance and why his face became hotter when he saw you

So he asked lute a “hypothetical” question about that event

“Sounds like the other person got feelings for the other sir.” He immediately denied that answer

He couldn’t have feelings for a demon let alone for another man

Adam doesn’t realize he is in the closet about his sexuality

He makes excuses to himself as to why he let you go

Despite that Adam hadn’t stop thinking about you

Meanwhile you couldn’t stop thinking about him either, yeah you where afraid of him but could help but find him attractive

Some part of you wishes that he came down here just so you can see him again

Two months later that wish came true as you were making yourself dinner you see something gold and white at your window

You looked closer to see him, you jumped a little in shock

He seemed to be inpatient and knocked on the window until he saw you coming towards him

Eventually you did let him in and he came threw looking upset but strangely happy

He stated that it’s your fault he’s been feeling a certain way which confused you but him kissing you answer your question

“If you tell anyone about this I will kick your ass.” You agreed with his terms immediately

He kept coming around for usually for sex but also him hinting that he would want something serious but he didn’t have the guts to make the first move

So you asked him to be you’re boyfriend instead and he happily accepted

So yeah you guys are secretly dating…. For now

<- Back to MasterList or back to Hazbin Hotel

[ambrosiagoldfish]

I've never sent a request before, but I'm fiending for more adam, like anything, anything at all

Benefit of the doubt

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Angst(?), Not exactly fluff at the end but it gets better, typical Adam TW’s, reader low-key high-key has a complex about being loved, this is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader. (Also Y/n isn’t used, which also surprised me, the author, LMAO)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Request Box: Open

Word count: 1760

A/N: Hi! Thanks for the request! I haven’t had a chance to write something that was originally my own idea in a while, so this was very refreshing! I’ve had this idea since I’ve watched the show so I hope you enjoy it!

I’m entirely up for making a small series from this oneshot, but I would need to know y’all’s opinion on it! (So don’t feel scared to let me know if you want some more of this idea in my Request box/the replies on this post!!)

Also Adam may be slightly OOC but please just chalk it up to him not yet getting his ego’s dick sucked 24/7

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, let me know if you do!

Proofread but of course could have left mistakes!

You’ve existed for almost all of human existence, Almost.

You were the 4th being to be created during the time of Eden. But unlike the other 3, you weren’t human. In fact, you technically never lived before. An honestly hopeless existence, yet it was so beautiful in every way. But for what purpose? Well…

You were created shortly after Eve ate the apple, before she and eventually Adam committed the first act of sin that caused evil to latch onto humanity like a leech.

The reason for your existence was simple. To be Adam’s new spouse, except for when after he died. From the very moment Eve bit the fruit of temptation, it was already decided she would hold no place in heaven. Adam was given mercy due to him not possessing any knowledge of the fruit Eve had shared with him, he trusted her wholeheartedly. Which is exactly why heaven gave him mercy… no, pity would be a better choice of words.

Upon your creation you learned immediately of the happenings before your existence. About Lilith and Eve, and about Lucifer

And so, after Adam and Eve were casted away from the Garden, they continued to live their lives, fostering the existence of mankind for the rest of time. And when they eventually died, Adam was given pity while Eve was thrown to the wayside, the vast unknown.

You thought it was finally your time to experience existence with the one you loved, the one you were made for. Of course you never would know life as he did but surely your life never-after life could be just as meaningful as his.

How excited you were, how completely enamored by the thought of it. But there was a problem with that, Adam had grown into a new person, he was meant to of course, he was human. But he had grown selfish, abhorrent… insecure.

You understood why, to be betrayed by not one but two of his wives for the same person. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be feeling. Before you were to meet your future husband, Sera informed you that he had asked for a mask, and once on, he has refused to take it off.

That didn’t bother you, it’s irrelevant to your love for him. You've only heard descriptions of his features. Short Brown hair, gold eyes, bushy eyebrows, some scruff on his chin. All in all, he sounded perfectly fine, ordinary even. But even then it’s his choice to wear the mask, so you’ll respect it.

Finally, the time he arrived in heaven, and when Sera finally introduced you, his new spouse, the one to whom would be by his side for the rest of forever.

He rejected you outright.

“What?” Your breath hitched as you stuttered over the word, the sharp inhale of your lungs through your mouth flicked through the air.

Sera looked just as shocked as you but she quickly regained her composure “What is the meaning of this Adam?”

“If you think I’m going to let my life get fucked over by another one of your “gifts” well, you’ve got another thing coming!” He crossed his arms and shook his head defyingly. “I’ve already learned my lesson with those last 2 bitches.”

“Adam I’m sorry that happened to you but I would never-“ almost like lightning his finger shot to your mouth, shushing you.

“Save it, Sweetcheeks, I really don’t care what you have to say, so just stay there and look pretty, k?” His hand fell and grabbed the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks together, his LED mask flashing a sharp smile.

You saddeningly looked down at the clouds below you.

“Adam!” Sera’s voice sounded through the air, still soft but firm, she continued, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Divine judgment allowed you to be the first human soul in heaven, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to give your new spouse that same grace.”

Slowly your eyes looked up at Sera with a soft smile. Adam only groaned “Ugh, Fine but don’t be fuxking annoying, capiche?” You nod your head quickly.

“Very good, glad we have it settled.” Sera gives a quick smile, “now, I have some business to take care of so I’ll leave you two alone to get to know one another” With that, Sera flew away leaving the both of you alone.

The silence was thick in the air, the only sound being the occasional wind breeze blowing past. The sunlight creeps in through the clouds painting an orange sky above you both. In every sense of the word, it was perfect.

It was almost funny. You had waited so long to finally meet him, your true love, the one you were made for. All the things you dreamed about, the laughs you’d have together, the warm embrace of the person who you loved. But now… you didn’t know what to say…

“I’m… happy to finally meet you.” Your voice is quiet, almost non-audible. “I’ve been waiting for you since… well, forever…”

He doesn’t respond. He seems to be transfixed on something below you both. You train your eyes on whatever he’s watching only to see the dark cavernous abyss below you. Finally he breaks his silence.

“The fuck is that?” He asked pointing down, a sound of genuine intrigue hidden behind his abrasive voice

“That’s hell?” You stated confused “where would-be sinners will go to be punished, didnt you k-“ you suddenly realized that perhaps Adam really didn’t know what hell was. It was only created relatively recently, after Eve and Him ate the apple, of course he wouldn’t know. “it’s also where Lucifer-“

“Don’t fucking say his name.” Adam spoke, his voice rough in his speech. LED mask putting a harsh frown on his face. “Let’s get one thing straight M”Kay babe, if you’re my “new spouse” that’s something you should remember.” The “new spouse” was said with a tone clearly meant to mock you.

“Sorry…”

“Ugh, It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He groaned before a wicked smile crept onto his mask “Sooo, that means he’s going to be stuck with all the wasteful beings of existence, HA fuxkin’ hilarious. Guess that makes them the losers and us the Winners!”

His laugh filled the air, the sound was like music to your ears, sure maybe it wasn’t really what you’d hoped he’d fine funny, but you loved it all the same but eventually his laugh died down

Silence again… in admits of all of it you suddenly was sparked with a thought “oh!” Adam looked confused at the random exclamation. “I had almost forgotten… I brought you something, as a welcome gift or was it a nice to meet you gift? Both? Eh, it doesn’t matter but the point is-“ you suddenly snap your fingers.

Golden light began shining, the light seemed like liquid hot magma as it moved and molded slowly into a shape. Light seemed to be overlapping and churning into itself, forming your desired outcome. With one final snap of your fingers, the gleaming gold liquid took hold, and quickly hardened to a solid.

The object that had formed quickly fell down, landing in your arms with a light thud.

“I’m still learning this creation stuff, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect but-“ you hold out the object in your arms as an invitation to grab it “I learned from Sera that you liked to play guitar when you were alive, so I thought you might like to have one here…”

Adam looked at the instrument in your hands. The base color was gold, the neck was pearly white with gold strings. To be honest it looked more like a harp then anything, like if a guitar and a harp had a baby.

Silence again. Did he not like it? Did he hate it? You go to pull it back to you and apologize when suddenly it’s ripped out from your hands.

“Holyshit, this is sick as Fuck!” Adam immediately started playing some rifts on the new guitar. The sound wasn’t what you were expecting but you guess Sera was right about his talent with the instrument. The whole time his mask had a wide and sharp smile as he mimicked guitar sounds with his voice, the occasional laugh leaving his mouth.

“I’m really glad you like it” you say, a sigh of relief leaving your body.

Adam looked at you, one you missed. He saw how relieved you were, how nice you were being. No person who supposedly loved him ever gifted him something, well, one other did. Someone he trusted and loved more than everyone, anyone. But look how that ended, with them being removed from the garden, away from an eternity of happiness until he died. All from someone giving him what he thought was nothing but love, a gift.

But he could see that this was different, you were different. When Eve gave him the apple, she didn’t explain what it was or why she wanted him to eat it, even when he asked her she didn’t explain. But with you, you had not only given him something you knew he liked but also expressed the reason behind it. Yes, you were different, even Adam could see it.

“Anyways, thanks for the axe, I guess…” Adam for the first time was stunned, but quickly he continued “What was the thing that Sera chick said about me and “divine judgment” or whatever the fuck? That she gave me the “benefit of the doubt…”

You were a bit confused but continued listening, “I guess I should at least try to give you a chance, since you got me this sick ass guitar an’ shit.” Your face lit up, you about began to speak before you were, once again, shushed “B-B-But-” his finger tapped your lips with each repeated syllable ”-only a chance. If you betray me like those last 2 bitches then you’re done, got it?”

To say you were overjoyed would be an understatement, a smile quickly plastered across your face as you quickly nodded your head

“Alright good, so uh, what do ya say about showing me the best places to get a bite to eat around here, I could really go for some ribs right about now.”

“ I’d… love to, thank you Adam”

“Yeah don’t mention it Sweetcheeks” Adam quickly wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you two began walking.

Maybe you will get your eternity of happiness.you can only pray you do.

[redr0sewrites]

HI!! again congrats on 2k you deserve it!! :3 i wanted to ask for prompt #49 for my wife adam hazbin hotel. nsfw if it’s alright with you and an male reader! <3

-Sniigura

🥀A/n: AHSHSJS OFCCC!!!! tysm for requesting, hope u enjoy 👹

🥀 Prompt: "i can't get up with you laying on top of me!"

🥀Cw: nsfw, smut, male!reader, slight degradation, implied size kink, dirty talk

🥀minors dni

you groan, shifting beneath the weight engulfing you. the sunlight streaming through your window is warm against your skin, illuminating the large man that was currently having the best sleep of his life- on top of your chest. your lovers' wings are stretched out across the length of the bed, golden plumage practically glowing in the sun. despite the fact that he was quite literally flopped on top of you, Adam was deep asleep and completely immobile.

"adam, baby," you murmur, trying to squirm away from his grasp. he groans in his sleep, one muscular arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you back close. as you attempt to wriggle away again, he begins to stir.

"whatever fucking happened to goodmorning?" he grumbles, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. you sigh exasperatedly, twisting in his hold. "goodmorning Adam, my dear, my angel, light of my life. now can you please get off?" Adam snickers, wrapping his wings above you, keeping you pinned beneath his weight. he turns over onto his stomach so that your faces are inches apart, bodies pressed together in perfect tandem.

"no can do, babe. i do like when you beg though-" you cut him off with an irritated shove, and he just laughs at you.

"i need to get ready!" you grumble, accepting your defeat as he begins to kiss your neck. "i can't get up with you laying on top of me.." Adam doesn't reply, instead opting to nip at the conjunction of your neck and collarbone. "that's just the point, toots. take the day off an' relax f'me."

you scowl, and somehow his smirk widens. he begins to toy with the hem of your shirt, grinning against your skin as you squirm. "i can help you calm down a little, how 'bout that?"

"you fucking perv.." you mumble, yet don't protest when he lifts up your shirt even more. Adam begins to press sloppy, open mouthed kisses to your tummy, trailing up your chest beneath your shirt. you squirm from the contact, unable to move beneath him. you let out a breathy moan as his large hands find purchase on your hips, and Adam snickers.

"can i take this off?" he says gruffly, tugging harder on your shirt. you nod, and in seconds, your left in nothing but your boxers before him. Adam follows suit, taking off his shirt and resuming his previous actions of smothering you in kisses. you can feel his growing erection pressed against your thigh, and you reach down the front of his boxers to gently palm his cock.

Adam hisses in your ear at the sudden contact, dick twitching against your palm as you continue to stroke him off.

"fucking bitchboy... can't wait f'two seconds..." Adam grumbles, pulling your hand out of his boxers and flipping you over so that your face down ass up in the sheets. you gasp as his large hand presses down on the small of your back, forcing you into an arched position. you barely have a moment to think before he's leaning over you, whispering gruffly in your ear.

"can i continue?" he asks, pressing himself up against your ass and grinding against you for good measure. you nod dumbly, already feeling your own boxers growing uncomfortably tight. Adam wastes no time in ridding you both of your undergarments, finally freeing your cock from the restrictive material. you let out a soft whine as your dick slaps lightly against your tummy, already aroused and at full mast.

after a quick application of lube, one of Adam's hands slaps the plush of your ass appreciatively, while the other aligns itself with your asshole.

"y'ready babe?" he coos, toying with your entrance before slipping one finger inside. you gasp at the intrusion, allowing yourself to arch back against him as you adjust to the feeling of him stretching you out. it isn't long before he adds in a second thick finger, slowly scissoring inside of you and reaching the spots your own fingers could never touch.

"gotta get you nice 'n prepped f'me, so you can take it like a good boy..." Adam murmurs, mostly talking to himself as he presses hard against your prostate. you keen, burying your face in the pillows as his movements begin to quicken. "fuuuck, baby, im just too fucking big for you- your already getting all worked up from just my fingers, can't wait to see you whimpering on my fat cock.."

his filthy words only turn you on more, and you struggle to form words.

"please-" you gasp out between moans, and Adam pauses. "please, i need your cock," you whine, arching back against his fingers to get him to move again.

"aw, since you asked so nicely, who am i to hold back?" Adam responds condescendingly, pulling out his fingers and aligning his aching cock with your hole. reaching for the nighstand, he grabs a bottle of lube and applies a generous amount to his cock and your entrance. the cool liquid makes you squirm in anticipation, and when Adam sends you a questioning look, you nod in approval. his tip prods against your entrance, and he slowly begins to slide in. "o-oh, ffuuuck-" you gasp, adjusting to his size. you swear you'll never get used to the stretch.

Adam slides himself in, his dick reaching places that make you see stars. giving you a second to adjust to his size, he leans over you, wings fluttering slightly as you clench around him.

"relax, babe," he mutters, pressing a few messy kisses to your spine before beginning to thrust. he sets a steady pace, the head of his cock thrusting hard against your prostate. the pleasure is mind numbing, and you bury your head in the pillow to muffle your pathetic mewls. Adam takes notice immediately, and fists a handful of your hair, forcing you to look up.

"don't- fuuck- don't hide those pretty noises from me, baby, wanna hear it all," he moans in your ear, increasing his pace. he lets go of your hair, trailing his hand down to fist your cock.

"oh fuuck- ngh- Adam!" you let out a string of wanton moans and curses, and your noises combined with the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. "takin' me so well, fuck," Adam curses, rutting into you even harder.

"im gonna cum soon, are you close?" you nod, cock twitching in his hand as he increases his pace in stroking you off. your eyes roll to the back of your head from the intense pleasure building in your gut. it isn't long before the coil in your abdomen is tightening, and you try to warn Adam before you cum.

"ffuck- Adam 'm gonna-" you slur out, cutting yourself off with an especially needy whine. "yea, me too, let go f'me," he rambles, struggling just as much as you to stay coherent. he increases his pace, and with a few more deep thrusts, you reach your peak. Adam continues fucking you through your orgasm, admiring the way your ass jiggles with each of his thrusts and the pretty tears streaming down your face. the sight of you coming undone is just enough to push him over the edge, and he cums hard.

Adam buries his head in the crook of your neck, whispering soft praises to you as you come down from your high, his hands rubbing circles into the skin of your hips.

Adam turns you over onto your back before laying back on top of you. he traces his name lazily onto your arm, and you automatically begin to caress his wings. "you took me so well, babe," he mumbles against your skin. "such a good boy.."

"shut up.." you grumble, scratching his wing ever so slightly with your nails, causing him to shudders. "you want another round, bub? 'cause that's a one way ticket-" you groan, removing your hands from his wings completely and setting for caressing his hair.

"i love youuuu" Adam teases, and you pretend to ignore him.

"i said i love you."

"..."

"say it back!"

"no!"

"whyyyyy?? i cant believe you don't love me anymore... :("

"fuck you"

"already did, babe. now say it back"

"... i love you Adam"

RAHH WROTE THIS IN MY HOTEL ROOM 🫡🫡🫡 i am pushing through the 2k requests + the jason todd soulmate au fic, PLSSS SEND IN MORE REQS FOR THE 2K EVENT 🙏 LOVE YALL AND HOPE U ENJOYED!

[marrziy]

Nem comecei a escrever ainda, mas tô com raiva já

[scekrex]

Im not sure if counts as an ask but. But hear me out.

Adam X Male Reader.

But...

Adam is at meeting but forgot to take the ribs his newly wedded husband (AKA, The Reader) made for him. So being the good husband he is, Reader goes to the place where the meeting is being held at. To give Adam the Ribs.

He arrives and busts down the door. Because he got no fucks to give besides giving Adam the ribs.

When he does, he saw Adam looking back at him with a shocked expression along side Lute who's face mirrored Adam's. A usual site besides the shock.

But what surprises him is that on the side of the room is Lucifer and Lilith (perhaps Eve too if you want) But Reader quickly gets over it, he came here on mission after all.

So he walks to Adam gives the ribs then he proceeds to remove Adam's mask to french kiss him. Then proceeds to walk out the busted door.

But not before looking at Lucifer and Lilith and saying "Our daughter is better than yours." Pointing at Lute as he said this. Then he leaves.

Leaving everyone process what happened.

Also leaving Adam having to explain who that was to his most hated enemies while trying to figure out how to tell Lute, He and his Husband see her as a Daughter.

Omg it definitely counts as an ask and fuck it's a good one on top of it!! It's cracky and I love myself a crack fic

Part 2

I bring the ribs, I bring the drama

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

When you got a text from Adam that informed you he had just reached hell and was attending the meeting scheduled with Lucifer and then spotted the robs you had made for him as a snack still standing on the counter, you did the only logical thing as the husband of the first man. You grabbed the plate filled with ribs and went after him and his forgetful ass.

Reaching hell sure wasn’t as hard as Adam always made it out to be, it was simply a long elevator ride that came with it and knowing the brunette the way you did that alone was reason enough to usually pull his little holograph stunt. But once Sera had caught onto that, she had had a serious talk with Adam, explaining why he wasn’t allowed to continue attending the meetings that way, so he had been forced to physically appear at this exact meeting. Which meant you had als a long ass elevator ride ahead of you. Nothing that would stop you from bringing your husband his much desired food though, you knew from experience how grumpy Adam could get if Sera sent him down to hell without a snack. And you desperately wanted to avoid grumpy Adam coming home only to realize that he had forgotten the snack you had prepared for him beforehand.

When the elevator doors opened with a quiet ‘ding’, you stepped through them and headed to the two winged doors right across the small elevator. You carelessly kicked the doors open, the handles on the inside both hit the walls with a loud ‘thud’ that echoed through the room that had gone quiet the second the doors had opened to reveal you. The glowing yellow eyes on Adam’s mask widened in shock as he spotted you, right in front of you sat Lucifer, his back had been facing the doors but the king of hell had turned around to look at you, confusion was written visible in his eyes as he tried to remember if he knew you. By his side was his wife Lilith. Great. The fuck-up and the cheating whore, both in the same room with your sweet darling. Seems like your little mission of food delivery was more needed than you had first thought it might be. But you knew Lilith was a pain in the ass and so was her husband. Lute fluffed out her wings as she narrowed your eyes before her expression turned into shock just like Adam’s.

In silence you walked around the ridiculously large table that was taking up most of the space in this room, given that its purpose was meetings it seemed to make sense though. You placed the plate in front of Adam, eyeing Lucifer and Lilith, hatred lingered in your eyes and you let the king and queen feel and see how much you despised them. They had caused nothing but trouble, they had been responsible for hell to even open its gates in the first place. Fuck-up, cheating bitches. Then your attention shifted from the married couple across the room to your husband. Hands reached for Adam’s mask and due to the element of surprise you had on your side, he was still trying to process that you had just walked in on this meeting like it was the most casual thing you had ever done in your entire existence, which is why he didn’t stop you from removing his mask. You placed it in his lap, careful not to drop it, you knew how much it meant to Adam and you weren’t intending on leaving scratches on it.

The golden eyes of your beloved were filled with shock and confusion, yet in the far back you saw a glimpse of thankfulness spark in them as you gently reached for his chin and pulled him into a kiss, it was meant to be a quick peck on the lips, but when Adam’s hand shot forwards to grab your waist and keep you close, you kept moving your lips against his. The presence of the others that kept you company inside this meeting room were forgotten in an instant, all that you could focus on were Adam’s soft lips that met your gentle movements so well. You slightly tilted your head to deepen the kiss, by squeezing his jaw you forced the first man to part his lips for you, providing the entrance your tongue needed to explore his mouth from the inside. When the tip of your tongue brushed against his, inviting him to dance with yours, Adam found himself unable to hold back the quiet moan that bled into the soft kiss you had started. And his tongue caught up quicker than his brain did, dancing with yours in Adam’s mouth as you claimed it as yours yet again.

When you pulled back in order to breathe in some stinky hell air - yet it was air so you didn’t mind all that much - you looked into Adam’s wide eyes, this time it wasn’t shock that reflected in them, it was love paired with desire and a shimmer of lust lurked in the back, you knew what he would give for you to stay, to keep kissing him like that, to maybe even sit down on his lap like the pretty little lap prince both of you knew you could be if only you wanted, but that wasn’t part of your mission. Your mission had included the task of bringing your husband food and that you had done successfully so you wiggled out of Adam’s lazy grip and pulled away from the first man entirely.

As if nothing had happened you rounded the table yet again to make your way over to the large doors you had just kicked in, yet you couldn’t help but stop on Lucifer’s side of the table. You slammed your hand down on the blue-ish looking wood, leaned in close to the blonde one and loudly stated, “Our daughter is better than yours, suck dick old fucker,” while you pointed at Lute to clarify which daughter you were speaking about. Lute’s expression shifted from shocked to confused and you watched as Adam’s lieutenant eyed the first man with a mix of confusion and pride. Then you straightened your back and walked out óf the room, once outside in the hall, you raised your hand to snap your fingers which resulted in the doors falling shut behind you with an equally loud sound as they had been opened with. And with that, you left hell again.

Once the door had fallen shut behind you, Adam had been quick to put his mask back on in order to hide the blush that started to bloom on his cheeks, Lucifer must not know about the effects you had on the first man, not when the blonde little devil sitting across from him was his sworn enemy. “Who was that?” the blonde man asked and pointed with his thumb to the closed doors behind him, an eyebrow was raised at Adam and even Lilith seemed to be curious about Adam’s answer to the question her husband had just asked the first man. Adam just and casually answered, “My fucking husband, bitch.” Because while your visit had been surprising, he would not deny you in front of Lucifer. He loved you and he was quite proud to be calling you his husband, fuck Lucifer’s opinion on it. “Daughter?” Lute asked as soon as Adam had answered Lucifer’s question and stepped up to her boss and best friend. The first man avoided meeting her eyes, even if it was just through masks. “Yeah, daughter. His idea not mine, fucking deal with it bitch. It brings my man joy so fucking take it.”

[wisteriaiswriting]

The nicknames/petnames Adam, Emily, Sera (Hazbin Hotel) would give Male Reader

Pet Names Given To Their S/O

Words: 57

Hot stuff

His Prince / King

Babe / Baby

His boy

Sugar (If you have a chest - Sugartits)

Y/N - She really enjoys saying your name.

Baby

Angel (Ironic but she loves it)

Sweetie

Honey

Dear / My Dear

Lovely

Y/N (Says she isn’t a big fan of pet names, but that's all you’re called in private.)

Honey

Darling