#I was like it’s gonna be fine why are you freaking out
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miss honey | jack hughes social media au (pt. 7)
pt. 6
yournamelastname
Liked by jackhughes, l_hughes06 and others
yournamelastname we had some very cute visitors today! including bear!! and a few devils!
jackhughes i think those kiddies ruptured my eardrum 😅
yournamelastname you loved every second of it you attention whore
jackhughes i'm gonna tell my mom you called me that
yournamelastname and did i lie?
jackhughes 😔
l_hughes06 man your kids are the cutest... AND THE DOGS!!!
yournamelastname we all know how much you loved the dogs
l_hughes06 trying to convince jack to let me adopt a friend for bear
yournamelastname yeah and then you guys go off frolicking on the ice across the country and i'm the one stuck cleaning their poop!
l_hughes06 but MOM
curtislazar95 thanks for letting us hang out! i really enjoyed chasing rusty around with the kids!
jackhughes
Liked by elblue6, _quinnhughes and others
jackhughes bear got to make some new friends at wallace elementary, furry and not so furry ones.
colecaufield translation: luke and the kids
l_hughes06 ha ha little man ha ha at least i can GROW body hair
jackhughes barely
trevorzegras why am i NEVER invited to these things
_quinnhughes you're on the other side of the country genius
colecaufield also no one wants you arount their kids
trevorzegras as an honorary kid i am outraged by these declarations
njdevils oh! doggie hamilton was there!
yournamelastname thank you so much for stopping by! made the kids' year!
jackhughes you're very welcome, miss honey 😉
yournamefinsta
Liked by trevorzegras, colecaufield and others
yournamefinsta luke read a book for the first time since he became a dropout so he's been spreading wisdom for a week.
l_hughes06 a COLLEGE dropout
yournamefinsta yes that makes it so much better
_quinnhughes i knew i should've never let him read the monk who sold his ferrari
trevorzegras wait that's such a kickass title i need to read it
_quinnhughes the only book you read was the hungry hungry caterpillar
trevorzegras FINE.... i'll get the audiobook
jackhughes he literally asked keefe if he could keep the tripod and the giant notebook
yournamefinsta he is so dedicated to his craft
l_hughes06 what you resist will persist; what you befriend, you will transcend
jackhughes save ME
yournamefinsta you're fine drama queen 😘
_quinnhughes okay now this is starting to freak ME out
l_hughes06
Liked by yournamelastname, elblue6 and others
l_hughes06 winter drop!
jackhughes why did you post me two times you clout chaser
l_hughes06 the world needed to know that book nearly bored you to death.... the other one? who knows
colecaufield wait jack and y/n in close proximity and not killing each other?
trevorzegras why is her hand there
yournamelastname you guys know everyone can see these comments right
snoopy43hughes not luke soft launching
_quinnhughes i leave you for the season and this happens
_alexturcotte the world has been kicked out of its axis
yournamelastname oooooh big word turcs
_alexturcotte i AM an intellectual
hughesyodaddy no one's denying the hints that they're something oh shit
hischierkiss what about nicojack!
#nhl#nhl fic#nhl x reader#hughes brothers#quinn hughes#l. hughes#inktopuck#luke hughes#q hughes#jack hughes#q. hughes#l hughes#jhugh#jhugh86#jh86#qh43#lh43#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x oc#jack hughes au#jack hughes fanfic#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes fic#ink to puck miss honey
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Random Arcane finale thoughts in bullet points in no particular order (spoilers)
...
so like they just couldnt resist killing not one of my favourite characters, not two, not even three, but all FIVE of my favourite characters???
Well actually no Ekko survived the slaughter
but still 5/6 is crazy and i am deeply wounded
but wait can't like our ascended "bros" just come back in the definite S3 because they just got absorbed into the stone?? What is all this setup for S3 i fear i will not survive another season
okay okay backtrack
Jinx is rocking the new hairsty- oh. Ouch. Ouch x3.
when ekko said he was trying to find a way to not let an old friend blow them both up and instead of get him caught in the blast she tried to jump - :(((
okay ngl viktor is really ROCKING the new look
oh jeez
MADDIE WHAT THE HELL
stfu with that scottish accent ur not cute anymore
oh rip bandana guy
okay but the music when ambessa was walking up the stairs was SICK
oh viktor and jayce casually paralleling the moment they first unlocked the hexstone and were floating :') this is fine
the twink murder bots are scaring me mom come pick me up
viktor this is getting outta hand you gotta stop
oh this is exactly the setup of the other wor-
HAHAHAHAHAH I KNEW IT I CALLED IT VIKTOR *WAS* THAT RANDOM MAGE WHO GAVE JAYCE THE STONE
wait but how does that actually work like
there are two different viktors here
is one just from a different timeline that has found the power to go across time and universes to conduct his little experiment
what's his own world like
why is he not completely hex-ified like our viktor
am i just overthinking this
did they explain it but i missed it while freaking out
is this sagely viktor just a manifestation
okay moving on
"but you were never broken, viktor" :( brb gonna go cry
oh vander got quite the glowup
also during the final fight where everyone was facing off against their opponent my dad was like "what on earth is going on" because he's only caught bits and pieces of Arcane
and i was like wow this is all very difficult to concisely explain to someone who's only catching the last episode of season two
okay closing thoughts
mel's powers are very cool
rip cait's eye
viktor's genuine confusion over why jayce is trying to stop/save him :(
the ascension mY GOD
rip jayce and viktor (fave arcane character death(?) count: 4/5)
jinx NO
...
fave character death count: 5/5
ekko sitting alone :(
overall i felt this season was a bit janky but i enjoyed it
sometimes the animation in some scenes jarred me out of the moment because it felt not fully polished though
but still rewatching s1 combined with this second season has activated my fic writing brain neurons and i'm obsessed
#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane s2#like i said in one of my other posts about this i'll probably write more coherent essays eventually#my thoughts
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Billy definitely thinks about random things during fights and decides the internet needs to know immediately
#billy batson#ACAB!Billy Batson#Billy batson says acab#dc captain marvel#dick grayson#nightwing#Jason todd#red hood#dc comics#justice league#The resulting chaos from redhood and marvel team ups stress everyone out#Batman: would you like to explain why hood left a demon head in the trunk of the Batmobile#Marvel: idk?? He’s from Gotham I thought yall were just like that#Or Billy’s been spamming Jason for six hours straight#And Jason ‘could hack the govt but wtf is TikTok’ has no idea what the hell he’s talking about#Billy: rizz is off the charts but vibes? Whack 💃🏾 ykwim???#Jason in tears seeing 800+ messages on his computer after patrol bc he still has a flip phone: yeah absolutely#Or Batman’s been visibly freaking out all day and he grabs marvel as soon as he gets to the watchtowers alarm system#Hal: wtf did you do he hasn’t been that pissed since I reset the watchtowers alarm system#Billy: Hood is fine 🙄 istg there was an issue with vampires three dimensions over and he wanted to come#Barry: oh god I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear you say vampires Hal are you hearing this shit??#Jason reading books from the 14th century: ✅ yeah this is normal#Jason reading messages from a middle schooler: ❌ what fuckass cipher is this I hate everything
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someone over the age of 30 tell me it’s gonna be ok
#im turning thirty at the beginning of next year and trying not to have a meltdown about it 😭#I’ve actually been having one continuous meltdown about it since I turned 25#WHY IS IT SO SCARY!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS!#being 30 is literally such a normal thing to be 😭#and I keep thinking I’ve gotten over it (I have done a lot of mental preparation this year) but then I still get overcome by Panic!!!#and my birthday isn’t even for months#help👯♀️ sos😍#who in my fandoms is over 30 🥺🥺 guys hold my hand I’m being a baby about being old#as usual#i was supposed to have my life figured out by now but I have even less figured out than I did when I was like 22 I think .#how did I go BACKWARDS#I want to be a good example for the 20-somethings and tell them it’s all fine but I’m always freaking out so .#gonna need the 30-somethings to step in and be a good example for ME#I am soon to be one of you so if you would be so kind as to extend a gracious welcome and ignore my sobbing. thank u#wise beautiful powerful 30-somethings. thank you#mine
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hey we all agree that ed gets nightmares about ling absorbing the philosophers stone right
#his new bestie (and maybe boyfriend if ur into that) just got done walking through literal hell with him and now hes screaming in agony#body contorting into unnatural shapes bones breaking and reforming as he vomits blood#like god damn. chill dude. ur freaking everyone out. please#and then he gets possessed and is not seen again for like a month and eds gotta be worried sick (on top of everything else)#anyway this is all to say during the camping trip he gets one of those nightmares and bam edling hurt comfort#could even go for greed ed angst with ed freaking out if lings okay and greed trying to reassure him lings FINE hes just ASLEEP please stop#HITTING ME (and why do i feel so weird about seeing you in distress) (why does the thought of ling not being there also put me on edge ;-;)#alright okay phew i got that out of my system#sorry im a sucker for bad dreams and also forced emotional vulnerability#(bc lbr how else are any of these dorks gonna admit they care unless under duress by fanfic authors (except maybe ling. hes pretty fine))#edward elric#ling yao#greedling#edling#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#moss' madness
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3
Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao
Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???
Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE
My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me
please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4
#yeyarants#thousand autumns#qian qiu#shen qiao#yan wushi#yanshen#WHY IS HE SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND#i have been extremely freaked out over how Shen Qiao and I had the same thoughts regarding Yan Wushi#we basically on the same wavelength regarding him#I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL#I felt very neutral towards him when I finished volume 1#then extreme hatred and betrayal towards him in volume 2#and now I feel sad and hopeful that he’s ok because he literally turned himself in help me idk what to feel#YAN WUSHI IS IN LOVE FUCK#I wanted to get volume 5 of erha and volume 3 of yuwu#…but now I need volume 4 of qian qiu#I LOVE SHEN QIAO BUT OMG THE TURMOIL I FEEL REGARDING YAN WUSHI IS SO CONFUSING#DO I LIKE HIM OR NOT IDK#BUT I WANT TO KNOW IF HES OK#*point at Yan Wushi* you sir are a complicated enigma#and I need to know wtf is going inside your brain#I’m so confused I would have been fine hating him but now I feel like a concerned mother wondering where her child is#yan wushi the man that you are#meng xi shi#I can’t read erha or yuwu because I have become invested in this shit HELP ME#I NEED TO KNOW#YAN WUSHI ARE YOU OK???#im gonna reblog shit after once I’m done because I did not want to know any sorts of spoilers
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scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god
apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.
i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au
ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks
anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.
Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.
Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.
It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.
It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.
Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.
Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."
It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—
You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.
And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.
Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"
Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—
Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.
Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.
"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.
"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."
"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.
"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."
"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.
"Be gentle, I bruise easily."
"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."
"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.
"Line like fishing?"
"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"
"Yes, yes, that."
Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."
"Doing the thing."
Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.
"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.
And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.
"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.
"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.
"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.
"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.
"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."
Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.
"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."
"Is that bad?"
"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.
So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.
"Oh, hilarious."
"If I was funny I would say jock."
"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."
"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"
"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.
#ask#instead of actually writing the things i wanted to get done i did this instead thanks guys#not to “controversially new hot younger girlfriend” maffhew but im gonna#timeline here doesnt make sense like quote wise so like you know#chat... matthew was not joking when he said well be seeing more of each other#he was fully intending to sit on that knot the first time he saw sasha#sasha is just dumb#god can you just imagine the ways in which maffhew would drive this nice polite alpha absolutely insane#can you imagine the way sasha accidently brushes his hand across the back of his neck because hes trying to wrap an arm around his shoulder#in camaraderie and sasha is so apologetic about it because dynamic classes in finland are intense and hes so remorseful about it#and then in the midst of all that maffhew just turns into this little purr machine and sasha is like oh i think i touched a button i should#not have touched at all oh god oh fuck#and maffhews like mmm? whyd you stop#pan to sasha silently freaking out#not to say sasha doesnt enjoy scruffing his omegas because they love it but he hasnt met one who enjoys it as much as maffhew does#and it kinda fucks him up#also speaking to ekky getting used to maffhews scent like oh boy i can see sooooo many ways that can go down like maffhew is respectful#of ekkys boundaries but also at some point ekky has had enough time to mope and for lack of a better word he does need to grow up#which is why maffhew starts off subtly you know standing on the dman side of the lockers for a few minutes. chatting up the guys over there#before ekky walks in you know leave a ghost of his scent around. its not strong and its not offensive but it certainly is there#eventually he just full on starts chucking his dirty socks at ekky after games#going oops sorry missed the bin didnt mean to snipe you (he absolutely did. he gets extra points if he hits ekkys face!)#sometimes a stray jersey too. if he really wants to make ekky mad he will just slingshot his biohazard-in-training-jock over.#i also think when ekky gets the yips when he starts pacing a little harder than usual when his chuckles turn a little too nervous#maffhew has enough and just like a worried hen of a men just manhandles ekky around in his arms and shoves at him till he puts his nose#in his neck and ekkys arguing the whole time like this isnt necessary im fine-#and matthews like right im sure thats why your teeth are chattering worse than a fucking woodchipper eh?#ekky cant really reply to that and maffhew tells him to just shut up and start sniffing#and it does help and he hates that he admits maffhew was right that he just needed to be clucked over by another omega#opening yapdoras box the lot of you. utterly awful. I HAVE THINGS TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO
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close encounters of the third kind is an objectively good movie, but it feels sorta tragic. and i doubt thet was the intention lol. love the cinematography, love the music score, love the visual effects. that's all fun and good. but where everyone else seems to see a movie full of "wonder", it just makes me feel sad. the movie ends the way it does and it leaves me feeling bummed the fuck out.
#i'm literally eric stoltz in his version of back to the future thinking marty coming home to a changed 'better' family is Tragic and Bleak#it's why flight of the navigator was a cute movie to be as a kid. but the non-goofy parts legit freaked me out lol#like what do you Mean no time passed and now this kid's younger brother is older than him? he missed on years and it's funny but it's Sad#but at least that all works out#close encounters has the 40s pilots and an assortment of other people (young and old) from various time periods walking off that ship#what happens when they try to go home? will their families be there? will they be decades older? will they be dead?#barry's only been gone for a few days and Seems fine and his mom pretty much got him right back so they're good#but there was at least another kid walking off that ship. what about her parents? how long was she gone?? man...#like yeah the dad fucks off to space and leaves his wife and kids behind. even spielberg says he doesnt like that ending anymore#bc odds are- that guy's family is Never gonna see him again. and they'll never know what happened. they'll never be Told what happened#'dad went crazy and went missing' and that's it. that would fuck with you#this movie's like 'yeah aliens! yeah ufos! yeah the unknown! yeah science! yeah mystery! yeah the power of music'#but the people caught in the middle of all this 'wonder' w/out Seeing that 'wonder' for themselves? this would suck. it's bleak.#such a killjoy take on a classic scifi movie but i forgot how much this movie just gives me a sense of dread#it's not how the audience is meant to feel anyway!#close encounters of the third kind#rambles
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Ough
#vent post#why can i not. look tbe way i wwnt#starts violently biting adn tearing at the fabrics arounf me#what the.freak!!!#ehy does everything always hurtall the time#tweaking out#gang the demons are getting my ass again#if i suddenly dropped dead that would fix me i think#i feel like such a fucking bitch for being unhappy with my weight because like. idk. is it fatphobic?? ive heard it be called that before#and also other ppl who have similar weights to mine are happy so. why should i not be#i giggle and i laugh and i joke but why am i actuayly like this browgat the freak#alsow hy am i soo fucked in the head#im like “teehee i just got silly as i grew!” HELL NAH. i was a lil fucked in the head as a KID😭😭😭😭😭#i remember going to bed one night and my mom was gonna read a chapter of a book to me and i specifically chose the torture chapter and it#caused a huge argument in the family#and i also drew SO MUCH GORE in elementary school#like girl😭🙏you have never been exposed to this. what is up with u#there are also a bunch of other instances but my vent art back then was also wild. as in more gore#now its just weirdly abstract with bright colors and a lota eyes#lots. lots of eyes.#whwre was i going with this#idk i hate my head. my little fucked up little brain#the way i think is crazy because emotions are usually depicted as scenes or images or feelings(its different than emotion trust)#and theres still blood. theres so much gory shit in my head. like girl get out of there!!! thats not where u belong!!!!!!#and then also the daydreams#ougghh the daydreams....#i hate the daydreams i wabt them to stop so bad but i physically cannot and also they r one of my few sources of comfort ESPECIALLY in#situations i cant get out of or distract myself in any other way#and sometimes its fine but also sometimes they fucking suck and its scary because im not here im THERE and so much shit happens there#lore drop
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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fun fact: if you hang out on space weather related forums you can see several comments a week from people panicking about the possibility of another Carrington Event (which is understandable and honestly I'm glad they're at least asking space weather nerds and not random conspiracy theorists or whatever), ranging from people asking for reassurance and thanking everyone for explaining stuff to them, to people calling everyone on the forum insane and acting like they're celebrating the end of the world because they're excited about maybe seeing more aurora when there's a large solar flare
#thoughts#personal#🦋 post#space weather#this isn't a vent or anything I just checked some forums and I've seen like 3 different comments from people panicking about this#I completely get it because like if you hear that there's been an X class flare and you're vaguely aware of the Carrington Event#but don't know much else then yeah that's gonna be scary and you're gonna want reassurance about it#but some people really just jump from that to ''I can't believe you're celebrating the world ending! how could you be excited about this?!'#and it's like dude we're fine and if you click back like one page you'll see that someone already explained why this isn't gonna kill us al#I wanna know how this all looks from the perspective of the person panicking and assuming it's gonna destroy society though#like if you're freaking out about that and then think ''I'll check these forums to see what's happening'' and everyone's celebrating#then that's gotta look fucking unhinged from an outside perspective
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just found out i accidentally no call no showed for like the 3rd time yesterday bc i guess when i checked my schedule i was looking at last week but every time this has happened NOBODY calls me to let me know i'm supposed to be there !!!! so i just have to go in the next day like Sorry that was a mistake can i please work today instead and every time they're like oh yea sure whatever but it's just like. why would u not just call me to see what's up when i fully just don't show up for a shift what if i had died. do u even care
#sorry it just always freaks me out so much bc they never seem to care abt it but it still makes me worry that i'm gonna lose my job#like they KNOW i'm not doing it on purpose bc every time i have to beg whoever is in charge that day to let me work bc i fucked up yesterday#i look like i'm abt to pass out or cry and they're like Chill it's fine#but like AUGH i hate that they don't like. at least give me a little call#like Sorry i did not show up yesterday are you mad at me and if not Why
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stupid fucking animation software compressing my files to shit for no reason
#it wasnt fucking doing this before what changed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is why i havent updated citrus in a few days i was so excited to actually make it and update it super often this summer#what the fuck ever man#im pissed#im okay#i mean im angry but ill be fine#ill just try and fix it tomorrow and if i cant then whatever#my doubts are starting to kick in so im just going to try and stop thinking about it for a bit#god im actually super angry its kind of freaking me out why am i so pissed#i feel like i cant think about anything else#maybe i need an apple snack that might make me feel a little better#sigh i just want to show you guys citrus so bad#hopefully ill be able to get my shit to work again soon#sigh ok#im gonna make some apple and peanut butter now#and think about ace attourney#if anybody here likes ace attourney id love to talk about it :3#i havent actually played the games but ive watched a bunch of videos about the first game#so id love to maybe hear any of your guys' opinions on the games and what you like about them!
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related to the don't do drugs with people that don't care about you: be very careful with who you ask to be your trip sitter! you're gonna be in a vulnerable position and whoever is responsible for that is gonna have to take care of you, so make sure it's someone you would both trust to look after you and who is capable of taking that kind of responsibility on
why do so many teenagers follow me. you know i do drugs right.
#based off the time a sixteen yr old asked me (at thirteen) to trip sit#for him and his friends#who were also sixteen#and me at the time being a kid didn't understand why this might be a bad idea#ended up finding a way out of it cause i was just generally uncomfortable#but yeah if you're gonna ask anyone ask a friend#a close friend! who you know won't abandon you if you start seeing faces in the walls or smth!#like i've gotten high before with friends and it was fine bc we were all aware of each other and were looking out for each other#literally just... yk#be aware of the ppl around you and get ppl you trust#cause i've also known ppl who have gone thru some truly terrible trips#and took that shit alone#bad idea very bad idea#always have a contingency plan especially if u do like shrooms or anything harder than weed tbh#with someone who you know can calm you down if you rlly start freaking tf out#k i'm done now sry for the rant bye bye
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the list of traumas i need to unpack still and my coping mechanisms (or, more frequently, lack-thereof) keeps getting longer and i'm not sure i like that. I think i like less how much i already know they're hangups before they become a problem i have to actively work on, too.
#this post brought to you by#my aversion to bathrooms and kitchens being connected because they remind me that i have a body that has body functions#and those Weren't Allowed really - mean obviously what're you gonna do about it#but like... it was very clear it was seen as a Defect that i was in any way doing human body things even in normal amounts#so i learned to Hide all of my Disgusting Body Functions™#because if it was Found Out that i'd Excreted Fluids or Mucus or had Consumed Food and was Digesting those were Gross#and Punishable because they could Make A Mess#messes were *not* allowed (not well stopped but also not allowed so i was in trouble a lot because things would be messy)#(and not even always Really Actually Messy)#i'm way more fastidious about my Body Goo getting places than anyone i've ever met except for my parents and my sister#i'm not tidy by any means and i'm very bad at making sure things in my controlled space stay Clean and Sanitized but that's My Zone#that's allowed to be Disgusting (and frequently is)#(note: we're still using my definition of disgusting which probably just means Normal Amounts of Grossness)#but places that in my head are meant to be kept Sanitary and Nearly Sterile (kitchen & bathroom mainly) i get Very Anxious about#because if i'm in there i naturally will make things Unsanitary#it's why i avoided using shared spaces when i lived with people before - i can avoid Grossing Up The Place if i'm not in them#my big-e Ex was also not helpful in this because he was on my dad's level of fastidiousness#everything had to be spotless or he'd be upset and it had to be my job#and no i don't know which one i'm talking about there#my mom would freak out if there was too much dog hair - we had 2 dogs at any given time and all of them shed like hell#so ''too much'' was generally ''any''#household deepcleans were supposed to be a weekly thing and if it didn't get done weekly mom and dad were REALLY upset#everything i did that i considered ''gross'' was done in secret and in private and i was TERRIFIED of getting caught *checks notes*#having a body and it doing normal body things#so anyway if you've made it this far this is your friendly reminder that your body is not capable of any more grossness than any other body#and grossness is normal and it's fine you're not some sort of ooze monster who needs to be decontaminated constantly#you're just a human being with a human body#a lot of the way i've been handling this for a lot of these things is the ''well... people used to live in a lot dirtier conditions and THE#survived so i'm probably not going to die from exposure to 1 common household contaminant or body fluid from my own body''#it's... generally effective
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