#it wasnt fucking doing this before what changed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0800-0899/0847/0847.html
Here are your definitions :)
The book you mention "Heather has two mommies" falls under those definitons on account of this fascinating image i attached below
I highlighted the part that's i suspect confusing to the lawmakers.
Its pretty fucking weird i gotta say. Bcs i cant make heads nor tails on where the hell is that guy kissing the child. /s
Like the headtilt is borderline odd./s
I can't figure out where is the nose of that kid pointed. At which point i arrive to conclusion this is some odd lip kiss. Which is criminal like legally.
The thing is the intent doesn't matter but the final effect does. So.
(Anyway checked again about why the thing got relocated to higher grades and it wasnt actually this image part (??!) but im still confused as to wtf is it allowed, the mommies are great but wat the hail is this page fr, i get it may be supposed to be a head kiss but it just doesnt look like one at all)
The second book you mention was banned on different legal grounds disconnected from ISP branch as stated here
The two things are as far apart as they can get.
Context clue 4 u -> the law doesnt prohibit talks about "stranger danger" or bans introduction to the lgbt shit at 4th and further grades so the book should be very much accesible at that point. (Probs even a famous interschool read, afterall it was a hot topic)
And its not like the same law makes it illegal by homosexual couples to educate their children how they wish to. Most kids dont notice conciously that someone having "two mommies" or "two daddies" is a weird thing till, as they stated, above ig 10 y/o so the law doesnt affect much outside "political principals". So effectivly its just a rule about "dont talk about sex and dating" but you can "teach about reproduction as science" before 10 y/o is achieved.
I think it's a pretty good safeguard overall since most adoptees or bio kids from lgbt couples get normal info from direct source they can talk about between themselves and there is no 3rd party fearmongering about evil gays or enabling grooming attepts via lies on how homosexuals function. (Thats def a common trumpist fear, not that they know much as most population is heterosexual and as such doesnt seek out info, except regretably via explicit material which is most common to come across but lately she-ra, owl house and arcane seem to be changing things)
I would suppose gay penguins weren't into teaching reproduction so they got banned on those grounds (kinda hilarious to me but as a 9 yo i would probs get offended later on behalf of bad lgbt rep and lesbophobia since the penguins are most often in BL situationships which would lead a child to think that perhaps lesbians don't exist irl)
Tbh i can understand worries concerned with left wing educators bcs holy shit certain usa pride marches are straight up degenrate in comparsion to european ones
(i just wish they banned priests too :( )
(Anyway if bible was to be analised under gender id and obscenity laws scope then i bet we could ban it :D )
Additionaly, you can access 4chan bcs its servers are not in your states territory physicly probably, therefore do not fall under the porn ban which is regional law and not federal law
The state cannot forbid you access to "foreign press" lets say, under democracy that is
I don't take anything that doritoassrapist says seriously. He can suck dongs all day long with those speeches idc what he says. That is but one scrote, i would rather monitor gatherings of them - the current porn ban has not affected anyone outside the sex industry since becoming a real thing. The law itself cannot be misunderstood in legalise so it cant touch other laws unless the phrasing will be changed in it to allow for that. At which point the effects should be reported in the news. Nothing like that happend so no worries about it.
I would say to be concerned more about changing definitions in obscenity laws
Tumblr is not a website with adult content officialy. The rules are against it but they cannot censor literally everything bcs of artistic rights. The porn ban is in effect but there is no ban to advertise porn or real life abuse per say which is The Problem
Tbf if they forbid ads with the stuff or made a comprehensive mandatory education on school levels on recognising abuse we wouldnt be having as many problems as now with grooming on tumblr dot com
VPNs actually sell the info they gather so its a real 50/50 here
I belive what they write down with proof and when i see how it works. I'm gnostic atheist. Gender self ID is the same to me as christianity. I hate both sides equally well, no need to get prissy. (Yes I belive gender dysphoria is a thing (as in genitals and second sex characteriscs like beards owned being hm odd to someone for 10 years straight after puberty). Yes trans people exist to me but definitly not in the "non binary" box with other "two spirits", the same way i don't belive in female or male souls. Or souls as a general concept. Or being trans bcs of gender roles and patriarchy fetish (disturbing crowd which you probs already encountered here))
And so far the only people concerned about how the system works are not much from left or right since they all base it on non empirical beliefs today.
The left looks like this to me:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-3293649/Video-Trans-activist-climbs-chair-flashes-bottom-twerks.html
The right looks like this to me:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/dec/07/arizona-polygamous-cult-leader-child-abuse-samuel-bateman
Its like a populism bingo lately :/
Anyhow, i belive the porn ban laws accomplish the purpose given to them based on my own conclusions. It will just take getting the ban set up globally for it to take real effects in fighting the trafficking behemoth. Which will take next 100 years...
(in my country the porn ban is actually a left wing lgbt representant idea so i have a bit different angle here ig)
:
"they weren't trying to keep kids off the site, they were trying to verify everyone's ages"
porn makes you stupid
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stupid fucking animation software compressing my files to shit for no reason
#it wasnt fucking doing this before what changed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is why i havent updated citrus in a few days i was so excited to actually make it and update it super often this summer#what the fuck ever man#im pissed#im okay#i mean im angry but ill be fine#ill just try and fix it tomorrow and if i cant then whatever#my doubts are starting to kick in so im just going to try and stop thinking about it for a bit#god im actually super angry its kind of freaking me out why am i so pissed#i feel like i cant think about anything else#maybe i need an apple snack that might make me feel a little better#sigh i just want to show you guys citrus so bad#hopefully ill be able to get my shit to work again soon#sigh ok#im gonna make some apple and peanut butter now#and think about ace attourney#if anybody here likes ace attourney id love to talk about it :3#i havent actually played the games but ive watched a bunch of videos about the first game#so id love to maybe hear any of your guys' opinions on the games and what you like about them!
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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habeas corpus – detective comics #1086
(ID in alt!)
#loved this back up feature so much and seeing that bruce timm shit made me annoyed enough to actually transcribe it#first the way hes depicted as having to stand trial and ARGUE and fight for the rights of using the coin#rather than it just being a compulsion and something he must do before a decision....#like every time. every time when he's 'leaving it up to chance'—thats a time when harvey won. thats a time when harvey fought for the right#to use the coin and make it at least a 50/50 chance instead of 'crawling away until the hard part is done' like two face pushed for#every single time. regardless of the results regardless of knowing theres only a halfway chance of it actually achieving anything#or lessening the damage two face can/will do. every time hes fighting for and still believing in a fair trial and that everyone deserves on#it isnt him being weak. it isnt him avoiding responsibility. its him fighting and forcing and pushing for it as hes internally at war#with himself 24/7. even when two face wins he doesnt give up & continues to fight for what he believes in despite the injustice done to him#the way he tells Judge Janus that it isnt about HIM (himself!) while defending the right of existence to the jury of other societal rejects#the way he gestures to himself only at the very end. he asks the judge does that sound like anyone he knows and janus replies in two faces#voice but harvey keeps going. he keeps fighting for others. but at the end in actually acknowledging two face being part of him#(and by extension harvey being part of two face) and how harvey is fighting just as much to have a place as two face is#(but more within his own mind & upholding his belief system still despite knowing how it continues to fail them) and just FUCK#and two faces snaps! how theres no jurisprudence system above there either ! just no one will admit it!#how harvey knows!!! look what happened to him when he was doing the right thing!#look how many criminals and mob bosses paid their way out! look how the police are corrupt!#but still believing in it and how a system has to be in place despite being a direct victim of it as well and just GOD#I LOVE YOU GOOD HEARTED AND WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE HARVEY DENT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!!!!!!#taking away how he genuinely wanted to help people and bring wrongs to rights takes away literally everything hes built on#it takes away the entire fucking tragedy of his character (and in many ways it changes how bruce himself operates and believes because#harvey WAS a good man doing everything by the books. he was trying to bring justice in the 'right way' and believed in the system. he was#what people tell bruce he should be and look where it got him. look how the system failed 'even the good ones' because the system itself is#corrupt. it isnt flawed—it was operated to oppress and thats why it cant just be fixed but must be entirely rebuilt and why bruce must#operate outside of it. it also gives more depth because harvey is one of batmans first and biggest failures. he didnt protect him.#he didnt save his parents as a helpless child (as bruce) but he couldn't save his parents as BATMAN.#it wasnt just random chance like his parents tragedy but this was calculated and something bruce didnt stop. its ALWAYS going to eat at#him if he could of prevented it by telling harvey his identity. by doing something different. by being more prepared or somehow#knowing it was going to happen. harvey is the face of tragedy in so many ways that cant fit in these messy rambly tags but its ALLL!!!!!!!#bc harv was (and still is despite it all! despite two face!) a good man!! because he originally was a glimmer of hope to bruce & the city!!
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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How the visit w/ grandparents is going:
#i dont know why they're doing this????#they ignore my corrections and like. i get that they might miss some of them (i also generally havent been able to speak loudly today)#but like. nothing about my gender has changed?? im not a fucking woman??? i've been on t for almost a year?? they KNOW that???#i *thought* they were supportive. i dont know what's changed unless they were like. lying before???#it didnt seem like it though#i'm here till Sunday morning.#i was worried about the trip but potential transphobia wasnt even on my radar fucking hell
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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when the doctor asked emma grayling who clara is and she was like "she's a perfectly ordinary girl shes very clever and she's more scared than she lets on is that not enough" literally me to moffat
#clara oswald#doctor who#the fucking loss i experienced in bells of st john#couldnt even allow her to be good at hacking on her own da spoon men had to boost her iq<3#that was the beginning of the end#she was such an interesting and derranged character she deserved more and by more i mean less#so so much less#she was interesting in her own right she did not need that other shit#like she literally had her own time lord victorious moment she saw the universe from birth to death in hide and it changed her#she kept doing increasingly more reckless shit because she went to space to fill a hole she was not trying or expecting to live that long#and she hates it when the doctor tries to be responsible for her#shes always like i never asked you to protect me!!! which is a wild take she refuses to recognise him as the one who can keep her alive in#environments she has never experienced before#she went with him to have some wacky fun and then she saw horrors beyond comprehension and went oh. ok. i can be god too#she looked at the doctor and went oh it's not that you're special it's that your circumstances give you power. and now i have power too#and i have power over you i can make you do things for me#that shit was so good#and like to be clear im not saying she cant have her whole orphan black thing going on#but like what did it actually do for her as a character? it couldve done a lot but she wasnt the focus of any of it#also p much everyone on this show has sacrificed themselves for the doctor it is not a defining trait#what defines her as a character is not that she was Born To Save The Doctor its that she thinks like this#nobodys ever safe!!!!! ive never asked you for that ever!!!
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WE STILL GOT ARCANEEEEE
#ambessa saying mel is safer as their enemy..... OOF we are going to get her side of the story this season#one thing i dont like is that they are really hauling ass in the first episode like damn. cait and vi are too quickly on the way to raid imo#i cannot velieve my fucking eyes..... vi dropping her gauntlets to keep kissing akdhaksjsk and OF COURSE cait is the one to do it OF COURSE!#were is thay gif of the butch watching football and raising her fist bc they scored that is me right now aldjsksnsl#vi saying please dont change bc she is seeing the signs is so AJDHAKSJK the break up will end lives..... i see why vi becomes an alcoholic#salo and cait wlw mlm hostility for reals#ambessa seeing cait as a rival the second she does her job and uses her military power.... yeah bc she has a real goal not just power grab#jayce fucking up vi and cait by messing with the arcane omg they are IN DANGER!!! JAYCE STOP FUCKING UUUP!!!!#OH MY GOD CAITLYN!!!!! HITTING VI ENOUGH FOR HER TO CRY OH MY GOOOOOD!!!#THERE IS JUST SO MUCH AKDJSKSKAL THE CHILD!!!! JINX GOT A NEW SISTER NOW VI GOODBYE#also vi wasnt going to kill her and jinx told the child to stop.... the only person there willing was cait and look at her.....#also sevika vs cait.... oof.... and jinx fighting vi BARE FISTED!!! GIRL!!!!#what can i fucking say like god.... “is her blood through your veins” “i thought you were different”#jinx is right i hope they got to you know before all of this akdjaksjsk.... christ#also amazing how vi told cait to don't change and she did it 10 minutes later.... girl you are in for it...#i think they just dont understand each other yet but they are in such a situation that they keep changing every 2 minutes so they never do#does that make sense loke ofc cait changed when her mother died and vi did too bc she accepted that her sister was gone#so in a way cait changed and vi stayed the same.... cait liked her “change” but vi did not like cait#ambessa bringing caitlyn to.be a general oh my gooooood her stress is going to get thru the roof like she doesn't have enough to deal with#its bc she knows she can control her... of course she offered her army to her.... and she doesn't mind putting her in danger#AND SHE DID ORCHESTRATE THE ATTACK!!!! OOOF#MEL PLEASEEEE TALK TO CAITLYN PLEASEEEE#like of course she disappears RIGHT NOW!!!#my god... also vis drinking buddy has left too.... of course.... you're good man....#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2
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Did you know? Studies show 90% of abused children quit right before they become the perfect vessel for a child of what they believe their parents will actually love. KEEP DESTROYING WHO YOU ARE FOR A MEANINGLESS CAUSE!
#luly talks#you know its fucked when you make a post thinking of yourself AND harry osborn#that's worse than harry dubois tags for me#anyway my beautiful step son aside uh. yeah 1) this is ok to rb but 2) this is actually a bit of a vent#because obviously me before but also bc talking w my therapist recently she was like... trying to get me to think of positives of my mother#so i'd consider reconnecting w her#and its so mental?#like woman i had to be kicked out of that house because even when i was about to kill myself to escape i wasnt willing to leave#nothing will fade the scars that my gripping claws left on that house as i was dragged away#i spent the last FOUR FUCKING YEARS trying to recover and come to terms with the fact my mother will never love me#and that there's nothing i can do to make her change#(which is what i tried to do for the previous 16 years of my life)#only for you to be like okay but what if she did like you this time?#WOMAN I HAVE POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER BE FOR FUCKING REAL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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Re: aai2 localisation discourse ive been reminded that they renamed haori to rei membami and actually that deserved the outcry that eustace gets. Foul thing to do to her
#listen i wasnt massively into dgs before OR after the localisation but i was around ppl who were#so im used to the old names and id wager i had more attachment to dgs than the average aa fan before the localisation dropped#whereas not only has aai2 had a fantrans for a full decade and thus fans to go with it#knowing fandom id wager an equally big factor is that aai2 characters have wedged themselves into fanon (esp. seb)#and thus there is a wider audience of both ppl who have and havent played aai2 to get mad at the changes#this being said. as someone with multiple dgs yurituals. what the FUCKKK were they doing renaming haori!!!!!#'MEMBAMI' IS NOT A JAPANESE NAME !!! IT JUST KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE ONE#given the existence of Khura'in the orientalist joke names shouldnt be surprising#but my fucking god is it galling especially given that its in DGS#whose arguably foremost theme is 'racism against Japanese people is bad'#AND ! THEN ! the localisation renames a japanese character to a nonsense name bcos her og one wasnt punny enough for the eng audience!!!#an inevitable outcome of a series heretoforth localised into japanifornia suddenly being vitally tied to real actual japan ig#but like. man. just let her keep haori....... thats her name... make the eng characters the ones with wacky names idgag#*idgaf#and like im harping on haori mostly bcos shes the one i was most familiar with pre-localisation but it still sucks shit elsewhere#'kyurio korekuta' what is this ill fucking kill you
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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just finished yakuza 0…
#flashing.#well not Technically. i beat the game like three times and it kept crashing at the credits so im giving up for today :thumbsup: but i saw#the post credit scene. with makoto and the watch😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im fucking killing myself ... the fact that majima just had 2 give everything#up. literally everybody who cared or interacted with him died in some way and its like. 😟😟 bro what the fuck...#i understand why he felt some typa way toward sagawa and makoto but i feel like they could've done a little bit more with nishitani...#i liked his character though so i GUESS they've done their job but. i wouldve loved having more scenes w/ majima & nishitani before he die#yakuza 0 REALLY loves killing its characters though. nobody was fucking safe!! fuckin tachibana oda nishitani sagawa awano... FUCKING LEE..#i LOVEDDD nishiki though. every emotional scene he was in just slayed so hard. literally stole the show..#the scene in the forest where he tried to spare kiryu and the scene on the boat where he said that he wanted to cross the line together.#NISHIKIYAMA AKIRA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ending part where they tell everybody's futures really worried me though.. like 😟😟😟 what do you mean nishiki changes. what happened..#when i first saw that i instantly thought about the cliche in black movies where they tell every1's future at the end 😭😭#OVERALL. I REALLY REALLY ENJOYED THE GAME!!!! it wasnt too hard maybe a little bit easy toward the end but such a lovely cast of characters#& the substories and things you could do in sotenbori & kamurocho is really fun ^___^#after i try and Officially beat the game i wanna try and 100% everything.. i might not do Everything but most of it i wanna do#like the five billionaires/stars storylines & stuff... but thats if i can even officially complete the game...#oh god such long tags. anyway.#canon that majima has legendary pussy#95
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