#I wanted to discuss how he’d kill me. the guy doesn’t talk about anything but coffee.

[detectiveneve]

you remember when lucanis’ ‘mage killer’ title dropped and everyone got all heated discoursing over whether to preemptively hate him because they thought he hated mages when he was just killing rich powerful mages in tevinter and then it literally did not matter at all because the political and social power of magic is nonexistent in veilguard. that’s exactly the issue

[thezombieprostitute]

Hummingbird - Part 6

Summary: You didn't want to break into someone's party but you were desperate to see the art at the gallery before it was gone. You're so busy trying to make sure no one sees you that you miss the ever present gaze of Steve Rogers who is wondering why you crashed his party.

Word Count: ~1.5k

A/N: Reader is AFAB

A/N2: This takes place at the same time as Dream Come True Part 7

Warnings: Implied violence. Please let me know if I missed any.

Part 5 -- Part 7

Series Masterlist

Steve is on edge. Ransom might be trapped in his own home and the only way to find out anything was to send in a civilian. True she was on their payroll, but she’s supposed to only be on the legitimate side of things. Bucky was swearing up a storm and vowing to beat every passphrase he could into Ransom’s head so that this shit would never happen again. 

Bucky gets a phone call from Mace, Curtis’s second-in-command. He immediately puts the phone on speaker, “what’ve we got Mace?”

“Note from Ransom that reads, Lloyd is back. Has solid plans to take over everything. We’re getting our intel to confirm and find out where he’s at.”

Steve’s blood runs cold. He knew he should’ve just had Lloyd killed but he was trying to not be like the other Bosses in the other Families. He won’t make that mistake again.

Bucky follows up, “what’s the word on Teach? She safe with you guys?”

“Not yet,” Mace answered. “She sent us a photo of the note from Ransom. Haven’t heard…” There's a ruckus in the background as they hear Curtis yelling. “Give me a minute,” Mace tells them. He doesn’t hang up so Steve and Bucky are privy to the argument between Curtis and Mace. Steve finds himself unable to argue with either man as they go back and forth between priorities. He’d heard rumors Curtis was going soft for Teach but this confirmed it for him. He can’t say he wouldn’t be doing the same if Hummingbird was in danger.

“Shit,” Steve cusses, earning a look from Bucky. “We gotta get a hold of Levinson. Start moving people out of here just in case a war does break out.” 

Bucky nods as Mace gets back on the line with them. “I don’t know how much of that you heard,” Mace’s voice is cold and a little shaky, “but Curtis is taking an axe with him.”

“Fuck,” Bucky whispers. 

“We’ve gotta get a plan in motion and we can’t do that without intel,” Steve says. “I need you and your team to focus on that. If you can find Teach you will tell me her location first so I can talk Everett down. In the meantime we’re getting Levinson to start getting the more at-risk people out of here.”

Bucky nods and adds, “we’re gonna up our patrols a bit and make sure no one goes out unarmed. I’m gonna call in a few friends, Nat should be done setting up McMann’s wife, Barton says he’s been feeling on edge so he’ll be happy to hear it ain’t for nothing.”

“Stay safe, Boss,” Mace says before hanging up.

You’re getting your things ready for whatever it is Steve has planned. He’d called you earlier and told you that there was an emergency and he needed to bring you to his place for a while for safety. Hearing a knock at the door you check through the peephole first to confirm it’s Steve. You let him in and he immediately bearhugs you.

“You’ve got your things packed,” he asks. 

“Just finished.” He nods at your response and gestures for you to follow him. The entire quick walk to the car you can see he’s on alert. His shoulders are tense, every noise warrants a look or quick investigation. 

When you’re inside the car Steve seems a little more relaxed. You know from previous discussions the tinted windows are bulletproof and it looks like he’s got his best driver, Dayton White, behind the wheel. You get the impression the “emergency” he talked about means he’s in danger. 

“Is it safe to talk,” you ask, squeezing his hand.

“Technically,” he replies. “Better to wait until we’re inside.” 

You nod and hold his hand the entire trip. 

When you reach Steve’s office he starts taking and making a storm of phone calls. The primary seems to be someone named Levinson. You trust Steve to explain things so you sit and wait patiently. 

After about an hour a grizzly bear of a man comes in, “Steve, where is she?”

“Ari,” Steve greets. “She’s right there,” and he points to you. “Hummingbird, I need you to go to a safehouse out of town with Levinson.”

“Excuse me,” you ask. “I have no idea what’s going on. Why am I not safe here with you?”

Levinson looks at Steve, eyebrows raised, “you didn’t tell her anything?”

“I’ve been kinda busy,” Steve barks. He looks at you, “we’ve got a very dangerous man looking to bring us down. He will not hesitate to take out anyone that might be remotely associated with us. Ari is our best at coordinating people to get them out of danger without drawing attention, I want you to go with him.”

“Is everyone else out,” you ask.

Steve’s brows furrow in confusion, “what do you mean?” 

“I mean are the others safe already,” you reply. “The nieces and nephews? The Family members that run the legitimate businesses? Are they safe?”

“I want you out with the first few trips,” Steve orders.

“No,” you retort. “I get that I’m important to you and that puts a target on my back, but I’m not leaving and taking up Mr. Levinson’s precious time that could otherwise be spent protecting the more vulnerable Family members!”

“You’re wasting his time now,” Steve scolds. “Just go with him and do as he says so I know you’re safe!”

“I’m not the priority for escape,” you argue. “I can stay inside this fortress. Not everyone else can. Get them out first and then I’ll go!”

Steve is cut off by his phone ringing. “It’s Jensen, I gotta answer.” He keeps glaring at you, trying to stare you down as he barks, “what?!”

“We…we got Teach’s location, Boss,” Jensen stutters. “Cairo hotel on 45th and Washington.”

Steve writes as he speaks, “Cairo hotel, 45th, Washington, got it. Now get back to work on Lloyd.” He hangs up and goes to speak to you but Ari cuts him off. 

“Cairo hotel? I know the manager there. What’s going on?”

Steve takes a breath, “we’ve got a person, a civilian, who appears to have been kidnapped by Lloyd. Tracker on her phone says she’s there.”

“Well, let me give him a call and see if he can’t get her out,” Ari takes out his phone. 

Steve sighs, “and if he gives you trouble, tell him Everett’s gone Berserker and will do anything to get her out safely.”

Ari freezes at that, “holy shit. I don’t think Pine will let him in.”

“I’ll talk him down first, get him to give up his axe,” Steve assures. Ari nods and walks away to make his phone call. Steve then turns his attention to you, “and you are leaving to get somewhere safe.”

“Again, Steve,” you insist, “I am not the priority here. Let the other family go first, I’ll stay right here where you can see me, and after they’re gone, and after that poor woman gets rescued, I’ll get out. I promise.”

Steve is already worn out from the slew of arguments he’s been having so he relents, “fine. But you do not leave my sight. You stay in this room.”

“Yes, Sir,” you smile gently.

He gives you a warning look and calls up Curtis. It takes him a few tries but Everett finally answers. You can hear him yelling over the phone. “We have her location,” Steve tells him. “I’ll give it to you if you calm the hell down.”

There’s some more angry yelling before Steve gets in another word,“because if we’re not careful a lot more people will be hurt and killed. And I know you know that. The last thing we need is Berserker. Now get yourself together, Everett. Put away the axe and I’ll tell you where you can get her. Full stealth operation.”

Steve looks at you and his eyes soften, “do you really want her to see you like this?”

It must’ve done the trick because he tells Curtis what the plan is as Ari returns with some of the finer details of his friend accepting the visit. When they’re done talking Ari leaves to get others moving out of danger and Steve drops into his office chair. 

“Sounds like he’s really in love with her,” you comment. 

Steve nods, “though from what I hear he might not realize it yet.”

“They’ll figure it out soon enough, I’m sure.” You take Steve’s hand in yours. “Sometimes it can take a while.” 

He nods again, “took me a couple years to actually ask you out.”

You look into his eyes, “and it’s taken me a few extra months to say, I love you, Steve.”

His eyes are a mixture of adoration and happiness as he kisses your hand, “I love you too, Hummingbird.”

Part 5 -- Part 7

Series Masterlist

Tags:

@alicedopey; @aryhyuuga; @cynic-spirit; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @ktficworld; @rayofdawnworld; @rebekahdawkins; @texmexdarling

If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know.

[badkitty3000]

You Can't Go Home Again

Chapter 5

Link to Chapters 3 and 4

Link to Chapters 1 and 2

Link to Chapter 6

All Five wants to do is rest. But when yet another apocalypse threatens to doom them all, he doesn't have that luxury. This time, the only solution for the Hargreeves to try and save the world is to unite Five with another, alternate version of himself.

Five starts to spiral when he is faced with the alternate life that he could have had, if only he hadn't gone and ruined everything. But maybe, just maybe, there's still time for him to obtain the happy ending he deserves.

An alternate season three rewrite for a request I received.

Warnings: None

More chapters will be posted as I continue writing this multi-chapter fic. Enjoy!

Chapter 5: You Can't Go Home Again

“I don’t know, I don’t think he’s doing too well.”

“Yeah, even before we got here, he’s not been looking great. I think he’s drinking way too much.”

“That much booze plus no sleep, topped with his size? It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Should we help? Or at least say something?”

“Ha! Ok, sure, I volunteer you to go down there and broach this subject with our very temperamental and homicidal brother. I’m sure it will go over really well.”

“Well, we should do something. I feel bad for him. He’s been through so much.”

“It’s Five, he’s fine.”

“We can’t just keep saying that. Yes, it’s Five, but he’s clearly not fine and hasn’t been for a while.”

“What are we supposed to do about it? Send him to Junior AA? Maybe throw in a good six months of psychotherapy while we’re at it? We don’t have time for all of that.”

“Look, this isn’t the right time or place to be discussing this. We need to get home and then we can deal with it.”

“And what if we don’t get home? What if we end up somewhere else again? He’s going to really go off the deep end. I just don’t think he can handle another major mishap.”

“I’m not saying we don’t need to offer some help; I’m just saying that this is not the time to do it. There’s too much on the line right now. And you know he’s going to freak the fuck out if you try and bring it up, or even so much as offer any help. Just let the two of them figure this out first.”

“But we’re all in agreement about getting him some help once we’re back home, right?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Good. Because I don’t want to see him hurt himself or worse because he can’t handle normal life once all of this is over. We already lost him once before; we don’t need a second time.”

“I think the old man deserves a little happiness in his life. Seeing all of this and what could have been…it must be killing him.”

“You’re the one that called him a dick to his face this morning.”

“Well, he is a dick! But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.”

“Me, too.”

“Same.”

“I think we all feel that way. Yes, even you, Lila, stop rolling your eyes.”

“On a different subject, are you guys hungry? Cause I’m starving.”

“What else is new?”

As the conversation swung in a different direction regarding food and how much Luther eats in one day, Five stepped back into the kitchen. He had come upstairs to clear his mind a little, and to also get some more coffee. He had actually wanted something much stronger, so he had been trying very quietly to search around in the cupboards for anything that would fit that bill. His siblings, who he had been trying to avoid, had been in the living room when he overheard them discussing his current state.

Hovering in the doorway, listening to their concerns, he glanced down at the bottle of cooking sherry in his hand. He swallowed hard as the shame began to wash over him. They were right; he was a dick. They didn’t even feel comfortable coming to talk to him about any of this because they were afraid he’d go fucking crazy on them. Which, Five realized, was entirely true.

He knew he had a problem; he wasn’t in denial. He had a lot of problems, actually, that was pretty obvious. But they also had another good point, and that was that they just couldn’t dive into all of that right now. Five was on borrowed time. They all were. And if they were going to make it out of this timeline in one piece, and restore things back to how they should be, then he couldn’t waste time sharing his feelings and getting a group hug.

With another wistful look at the bottle in his hands, he returned it, unopened, to the cupboard where he found it. He and his other version had been making really good progress, and he didn’t need to slow that down by getting wasted; no matter how tempting the thought may be. Filling up his coffee cup, he blinked back to the basement before he could change his mind.

*************************************

“Fuck, I think I have it,” the other Five said quietly while he adjusted some dials on the apparatus he was messing with. “I need a different screw driver. There should be one in that top drawer, can you hand it to me?”

Five opened the top drawer of the desk, moving various papers aside to try and find the screwdriver. When he came across a file folder, he picked it up to look underneath. Seeing the tool he needed, Five picked it up, but also accidentally dropped the folder so that all of the papers inside went fluttering to the ground.

“Damn it,” he muttered as he tossed the screwdriver to his other self and bent down to pick up the papers.

The other Five was not paying attention, since his focus was on his work at the moment, so he didn’t realize what had happened. As Five started collecting the papers and shoving them back in the folder, he noticed that a lot of them were newspaper clippings. As he inspected them more closely, Five saw that each one of the articles had to do with their father.

“Eccentric Billionaire And Former Olympian To Dedicate New Hospital Wing!”

“Reginald Hargreeves Debuts The Sparrow Academy: Meet Our Heroes”

“Hargreeves Institute Of Art Grand Opening Friday”

“Another Crime Ring Thwarted Thanks To Reginald Hargreeves And His Sparrow Academy”

“The Hargreeves Diet! Learn Reginald’s Secrets To A Healthy Lifestyle!”

Intermixed with the articles were hand-drawn schematics of the Academy, as well as a few crudely drawn ones of The Hotel Obsidian. Five recognized the drawing style and handwriting as his own.

Holding the folder up, he asked quietly, “What is all this?”

When his other self finally raised his head to look, his face paled for a moment before his eyebrows furrowed with anger. “It’s nothing that concerns you, so don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I think it does concern me considering you ARE me.”

“It’s irrelevant to what we’re working on now, so just drop it.”

Five looked down at the folder with concern, before setting it back in the drawer where he had found it. After another minute of silence, he spoke again.

“Listen, I’m not sure what you’re planning here, but…”

The other laughed contemptuously. “No, you don’t. You actually don’t know anything about me.”

“I do, though. Because—”

“Yeah, yeah…because you’re me, I get it. But just like I am not sitting around here wallowing in self-pity and drinking myself stupid, you don’t understand what I have going on, either.”

Five hesitated. That was all true, but he still didn’t like the idea of some weird obsession with their father. “Does Marie know you collect all of this stuff?”

The other Five slammed his palm on the table, rattling all of the parts lying on top. “Don’t fucking talk about my wife!” he yelled.

“Jesus…calm the fuck down. I’m not saying anything about your wife. But fine, I’ll drop the subject.”

“Good.”

After a few more seconds of uncomfortable silence between the two men, Five rejoined the other one at the table. “Looks good.”

The other him nodded as he used a small pair of pliers to tighten one more coil. “I think that should do it.”

“What do you think? Should we power it up?”

The two Fives looked down at the prototype for their time-travel device. As they had discussed earlier, it was small and portable with a wrist band so it could be worn as a watch. The current design had multiple dials to configure the exact date and time the traveler wished to go. They had agreed that it should also be stylish, so as to avoid any unwanted attention to it. The end result resembled a kind of large diver’s watch with a sleek design.

“Might as well give it a try. If it doesn’t work, we’re going to have to start at the beginning again. If it does…well, then we can build an exact replica so that we each have one.”

With a nod, Five took a deep breath. “Alright, then. I figure if we both channel our powers at the same time, we have a better shot.”

“Agreed.”

As Five watched his other self start to attach a pair of jumper cables to the device, he ran a nervous hand down the back of his neck. “Just so you know, the last time I tried to hot-wire something, not only did it not work, but I almost fried my nuts off.”

Still not looking up, the other Five shrugged. “Well, I don’t have a better idea, do you?”

Shaking his head, Five sighed. “No, not really.”

Once the jumper cables were hooked up properly, Five was handed his two ends of the cables. He swallowed nervously and exhaled a loud breath of air. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this again.”

“Ok, on three?”

Five nodded.

“One, two, thr…”

On cue, both Fives’ hands glowed with pulsating blue light as they worked on channeling as much of their power into it as possible. They watched as the light traveled slowly along the cables until it reached the watch-like device. As soon as their power made contact with it, the charge reversed itself, up through the cables again and back into their hands. With a loud, strangled yell from both, the Fives gritted their teeth and held tight. The current that was coursing through their bodies was being fueled and refueled by their continual release of power as it created an endless loop of electricity and pain.

“Hold…on...” Five instructed through a tightly clenched jaw. “Keep…going…”

As the other Five grunted with pain he hissed out, “I know…dipshit…just…shut up…”

“Fuck…you…” Five gasped in between clipped groans.

As they worked through the intense pain, they each kept their eyes focused on the watch between them on the table. The electrical current was passing through it, causing it to pulse with the same blue energy of their power. The longer they held on, though, the longer the pulses lasted. Finally, as they were both contemplating letting go before they really did fry off any crucial body parts, the glow became constant. The watch was now emitting its own bright blue light. With a slight nod to each other, the Fives let go of the cables, letting them drop to the ground as their bodies folded over, leaning heavily on the table with both hands. With harsh, loud breaths, they gradually worked through the pain and exhaustion of what they had just been through. After a minute, they glanced over at one another with a small, knowing smirk. Then Five looked down at the watch.

“I’ll be goddamned…I think it worked.”

The watch continued to glow blue, just as it had been when they were channeling their powers into it. This was a good sign, because it meant it had been fully charged and theoretically would not need any more pain-fueled jumps to get it going. That was all speculation, though. It would require a test drive to see if they had actually calibrated everything correctly.  

With both of them still reeling from the pain and trying to catch their breath, they sat down and stared at the device. They were each thinking the same thing, because it was the only thing to think. Who was going to test it?

Each of them had been through the disastrous results of botched time travel in the past. It was something neither one of them wanted to experience again, but the choice was obvious.

“I’ll do it,” Five said simply.

His other self creased his eyebrows together and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why should you do it?”

“Well, if you can’t figure that out, you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Five sighed heavily, running a hand down his face. He was just so damn tired and he needed a drink. But this had to come first. And it had to be him.

“Look, asshat, I’m not exactly thrilled about throwing myself blindly through the vacuum of space and time again. I’ve been doing it way too often lately, and each time I fuck something up. But it has to be me and I think you know that.”

The other Five huffed, pushing his hair off his face and tipping his head back with a sigh. Then he looked at Five and gave a small nod of understanding. He did know. There was no way he could risk the jump with an experimental time travel device. Not if there was even a chance of getting lost and leaving his kids and wife behind.

“Alright then,” Five said with a terse nod before standing up and grabbing the watch. He swallowed nervously, even just holding it in his hand. He knew how potentially sensitive these things could be, and it was possible any type of movement or disturbance to the workings inside could cause it, and him, to blip out of their current existence. “How far back or forward should I set it?”

“Just a few minutes. Start small.”

Five nodded again, hearing Reggie’s voice echoing in his head. “Keep the same timeline?”

“For right now, yes. Let’s not complicate things quite yet.”

Five adjusted a few dials to set the time and place, before removing his usual watch from his left wrist and replacing it with the time travel version. Even as hesitant as he was with it strapped to his wrist, Five still had to admit that they did a pretty damn good job of making it stylish. It would complement his suits nicely.

“Ready?” the other Five asked.

Five rolled his shoulders back and stretched his neck from side to side in preparation. “Ready,” he stated before pressing the small activation button on the side of the watch.

In one small burst of blue, Five disappeared. When he reappeared a millisecond later, he was still in the basement. This time, however, he found himself staring back at two versions of himself that were in the middle of an argument. Everyone stopped talking and stared at one another. “Shit, I think this means it works,” the smaller ‘other’ Five said, right before Five pressed the button again to return to his correct time.

Popping out of thin air, Five landed in the exact same spot he had been in when he left. With a quick check of his surroundings, he looked at his other self. “Did we do it?”

“I think so. You were gone for maybe a second. Did you make it to the right place and time?”

Five nodded. “It was right here just a few minutes ago, before we charged it. So, yeah…I think we did it.”

“Perfect!” the other version said with a smile.

“That was only one test. We should do a couple more to make sure we didn’t just get lucky. Plus we need to see if this thing stays charged.”

Both Fives knew that the worst thing to happen would be to find themselves stranded in the wrong time again, and with the watch having run out of power. It would be the same as when the briefcases went kaput. They’d be relying on their own powers and that was never a good thing.

“Ok, let me try a different setting. I’ll go a little further back and to a different place.”

He took a deep breath after he programmed the watch. “See ya,” he said with a wave before disappearing again.

When Five appeared out of the portal, he took a quick look around to assess the situation. He appeared to be in the right place. He had put in the coordinates for the Hotel Obsidian and he had found himself landing right in the main lobby. Luckily for him, the type of clientele that frequented that hotel didn’t even blink an eye when a teenage kid suddenly appeared in their midst out of nowhere. As Five faced the main doors of the hotel, he saw what he had hoped to see. His entire family, including himself, were trying to shove their way through the revolving door into the lobby, all while loudly arguing.

“Yes!” Five said to himself with a smile as he pressed the button on the watch before anyone could notice him. When he reappeared back in the basement, he let out a relieved sigh. “Ok, so far so good. There doesn’t seem to be any issue with the power strength and the coordinates seem correct.”

The other him nodded. “So, now what?”

Five let out a forceful breath of air through puffed cheeks. “Well, now comes the fun part. A bigger jump and a different timeline.”

“You sure about this?”

Five shook his head while setting the watch to the date and time he had in mind. He wasn’t sure why that particular date popped into his head, but it didn’t matter what it was, just as long as it was part of his original timeline. “Not really, no.”

When he was ready and the watch was programmed, he turned to his other self. “Listen, if this doesn’t work and I disappear, tell our family I’m sorry.”

The other Five nodded, knowing there was no use in giving optimistic words of encouragement. It was very possible this entire thing could fail. If so, Five would be lost and the kugelblitz would eventually wipe out the entire universe, including his wife and kids.

Five was gone in a zap of blue.

Reappearing on the other side of the portal, he felt the same wave of nausea pass over him that he used to have when he would make big jumps like this for the Commission. He closed his eyes for a moment to steady himself. Then he took a look around.

He was home. At least, the only real home he’d ever known, even if it was more like a boarding school than anything else. Standing in the large foyer of the Academy, Five checked the stained glass on the front door. Seeing the umbrella etched into the panes, he let out a quiet sigh. That was a good sign, but he still needed to confirm he was indeed in the right time and place.

Creeping quietly toward the living room, he heard voices coming from behind the sliding doors that separated it from the foyer. There was the sound of muffled laughter and Five could smell something delicious cooking in the kitchen.

“Baked ham,” Five whispered to himself before rolling his eyes at his own stupidity of talking out loud.

Taking a nervous look around, but not seeing anyone or hearing any approaching footsteps, Five pressed his ear to the door. The laughter was louder, and he could hear people talking, but he still couldn’t make out what they were saying. He knew it was a big risk, but his curiosity got the better of him and he cracked the door just a tiny bit to peer inside.

They were all there. His entire family, including Ben and himself, were gathered together, playing some sort of board game. Because Five had programmed the exact date and time, he knew they were all eight years old and it was a Saturday. Reginald had gone out for the evening, and Pogo had decided the kids could stand to use more than one hour of play time that day. So, he had asked Grace to make an extra special dinner of their favorite ham and potatoes, with chocolate cake for dessert. While she was preparing it in the kitchen, the siblings celebrated their precious freedom together.

Five smiled to himself while he watched his family playing and getting along. It was one of his better memories of his childhood. They were still young and hadn’t been competitive with each other yet. Training was still fun and the idea of being debuted as the Umbrella Academy for all the world to see was exciting.

Diego and Luther were arguing, of course, but it was more of the normal sibling arguing you would expect, and not the kind where you try and kill one another. Allison was trying to get everyone’s attention to explain the rules of the board game, but no one was listening to her. Five’s young self and Ben were sitting on one of the couches behind her, throwing little pieces of balled up paper into her hair and laughing hysterically behind their hands.

Klaus and Viktor sat dutifully in front of the table with the game, trying to listen to the rules as obediently as possible. That is, until Klaus took one of the playing pieces and stuck it up his nose, making Viktor laugh and Allison annoyed.

“You guys!” she started to protest, but when she saw Klaus take another piece and try to balance it on his head, she started cracking up. “Oh, forget it,” she said with a giggle, picking a piece of paper out of her long curly hair. She turned to Ben and Five who were doing a very poor job of looking innocent. Allison stuck her tongue out and flicked the paper back at them, hitting Five in the nose.

“Alright, children, time to eat!” their mother cheerfully announced from the dining room.

Five watched his little self spring off the couch, pushing Ben down in the process, and laughing. “Yes! I’m starving! I call the biggest slice of cake!”

“No way, Five! I do!” Luther argued as he trotted after his smaller brother.

“I’ll let you have it if you can catch me,” Five teased, just before flashing his bigger brother a haughty smile and blinking away.

The kids eventually made their way into the dining room where they were out of Five’s sight. He closed the door again and pressed his forehead against it, closing his eyes. The urge to burst in there and warn his innocent, younger self about everything that was going to happen was so strong he could feel his heart pounding wildly in his chest and pulsing in his ears. He wanted to grab him by the shoulders and look him in the eyes. He wanted to tell him not to time travel, even if he thought he was ready. Listen to Reggie. You really will be starving. And you’ll be alone. For so, so long…you’ll be alone.

The internal battle waged on as Five felt the tightening in his chest again and the breaths that wouldn’t come. Black spots began forming behind his eyelids.

He needed a drink. Maybe he could slip inside while they were at the dinner table and steal a bottle of Reginald’s booze. Then maybe he could think straight.  No…no, he just needed to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Five, are you ok? You need to get out of here. The experiment worked, you just need to get back now.

I know, Dolores, but what if I can save him? Save me?

Five pressed his forehead harder against the door frame. He was panicking and frozen stiff. He needed to get out of there before someone saw him. Or before his little eight-year old self started experiencing psychosis symptoms.

You can do this, Five. Just open your eyes and move.

I can’t…I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t.

Yes, you can Five…you know you can. You just don’t want to.

As usual, the Dolores inside his head was right. He wanted to stay. God, he wanted to stay there so badly. Despite all of its tortures, the Academy was his home. It was warm and filled with delicious smells from his mother’s cooking. His siblings were there; healthy and alive. His warm, cozy bed was waiting for him upstairs.

Five was certain that if he just waltzed into the kitchen right now, Grace would kiss his forehead and smooth his hair before insisting that he sit down at the table while she made him a plate of food. She would smile and ask where he’d been. When was the last time he was comforted like that? When was the last time anyone cared that much about him?

Your siblings care, Five. You heard them talking about you. They love you.

No, they just think I’m an asshole. They need me to get back to their lives, but they don’t really care.

That’s not true, Five. You know it’s not.

“Stop it stop it stop it stop it,” Five whispered to himself. “Move, stupid. You need to move.”

Nothing you can do will change anything, Five. What has happened has happened. You left your home at thirteen. You got lost in an apocalyptic world all by yourself. You became an old man and an assassin. You tried to save the world. All of these things already happened to you. And there’s nothing you can do to change that.

And just like that, Five snapped out of it. He opened his eyes, lifted his head, and took in his surroundings again. He was still alone. He could still hear his younger self and his siblings in the other room. But it didn’t matter. What was done was done. He could travel years into the past or decades into the future. He could jump a million timelines. But nothing would ever change his past.

The best he could do now was to make sure the future was just a little bit better for him and for his family. So, with a heavy heart, and what felt like a ball of lead in his stomach, Five reluctantly pressed the activation button on his watch. The Academy would never be his home again, and he had to accept that.

“You ok?” his doppelganger asked when he appeared back in the basement.

Five was breathing hard and raggedly, still reeling on his feet. He nodded and clutched the side of the table. “Yeah. Just some lasting symptoms of time travel. It will pass shortly.”

“And it all worked correctly?”

Five nodded again. “Yes.”

The other Five clapped his hands together with determination. “Great! We can get to work on building the second watch, then.” He looked at Five with concern. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Can I just…can you get me a drink? I need one before we start again.”

His older-looking self looked dubious for a second, and then he nodded. “Yeah, sure. You want whiskey?”

“I don’t care. Anything.”

“Alright. I’ll get you one drink, but that’s it.”

“Sure, whatever,” Five sighed as he sat heavily down in one of the chairs.

As the other Five left to go get the drink, Five rested his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands. He needed to pull himself together. He couldn’t crack up now, he needed to concentrate. The tears were starting to form behind his closed lids, but he squeezed his eyes tighter so they would stay there. When he heard the footsteps coming back down the stairs, he wiped his face quickly and straightened up, smoothing down his clothes and combing his hair back into place with his fingers.

“Here,” his other self said as he handed him a tumbler of whiskey.

Five took a small sip and he immediately started to feel better. “Thanks.” He took another, longer drink, and then set the glass on the table before standing up. “Alright, we’re not done. Let’s get to work.”

If you wish to be tagged, let me know!

@kaybreezy3000 @lunalovesangst

[thepupperino]

Hiiii, Keely! It’s been a while since I’ve found myself in the inbox of my mutuals with a thoughtful question about our boys. However, we’re preparing for the hurricane down this way and I’m looking for something to keep me occupied — like talking to all of my beautiful lovely friends!!

So what I want to discuss today is the love language of our boys. What love language(s) do you think they each excel at and which one(s) do they struggle with the most? Do you think their love language(s) have changed since the beginning? Do you think they still excel or struggle with a certain one(s)?

I would also like to pick your brain on your thoughts of how they protect one another — how they protect one another physically, how they protect one another’s peace, how they protect each other mentally, etc! 🩵

— Much love, Chey

Hi I almost accidentally deleted this instead of answering and my life flashed before my eyes

Anyway THANK YOU for asking this was very fun 😈

So I feel like it’s pretty universally believed that Mickey’s a big acts of service guy, but…can I be honest? I know the man loves a grand gesture, but I think that’s different than acts of service. Honestly the grand gestures almost feel like gift giving to me? Plus I love believing that Mickey grabs a Kind bar for Ian every time he stops at a gas station. I don’t know, especially growing up poor, it changes the way you think about material possessions, and I think he’d want to give everything he can to Ian

I think Mickey probably struggles with words of affirmation—at least receiving it. Like he’s probably more comfortable with it now, but I think for a long time he felt weird about Ian saying nice things to him and was pretty dismissive of any compliments

I 100% believe Ian is a physical touch man—he’s ALWAYS touching Mickey (hand on knee my beloved). I think he just loves being close to him. Plus obviously their sex life has always been…fulfilling and Ian was down bad from the start so I think that plays into it

I also love thinking of him as a words of affirmation guy because I really latch onto the fact that he tested out of English so I KNOW he’s good with words and I know he writes the cutest, sweetest little cards for Mickey on his birthday or their anniversary

Hmm what does Ian struggle with…? Ironically I think he might be a little resistant to gift giving because I think he’s the saver in the relationship, so Mickey keeps getting him these little “I’m thinking of you” gifts and Ian’s like stressing about rent (but also he loves it because that’s his HUSBAND and he’s thinking about him 🥹)

And I don’t know if love languages have changed since the beginning per se, but they’ve obviously both become more comfortable with expressions of love throughout their relationship and I’m having a lot of feelings about that

PROTECTION?! Well physically they will literally kill for each other if push comes to shove I am very confident in that. For some reason I like to think that Ian always tries to walk closer to the road so Mickey won’t get hit if a car swerves or something and Mickey thinks he’s dumb but lets him do it anyway. And Mickey wants to be facing the door on dates and stuff so he can size people up and assess any threats

Protecting each other’s peace I think they’re both willing to be the bad guy if they need an out. Like if Ian just can’t handle being around his family for some reason, Mickey’s like “tell ‘em I’m not in the mood”

MENTALLY I have a lot of feelings 😭 obviously canonically Mickey is great with Ian’s bipolar (we pretend Hall of Shame doesn’t exist) and I think that continues and grows (“I gotta worry, you’re my husband” my beloved). I think he’s VERY aware of potential triggers and warning signs and I think he’s supportive AND gives Ian space when he needs it because he likes his autonomy and independence

I think Mickey has a lot of unresolved trauma and I’m not like his therapist or anything but I’d want to assess for PTSD and generally unhelpful cognitions, and I love the idea that he goes to therapy some day (honestly I’d love if they both did), but I think Ian is really good at holding space for him to share what he’s thinking about AND I think he’s eventually willing to do that

Anyway I hope that answered your questions and PLEASE feel free to send me more, I love thinking about them

[aita-blorbos]

(This is for a roleplay with a few friends, same roleplay as a different ask sent, so that’ll be interesting)

AITA for killing my friend (male, older than me, I don’t know by how much, adult?)?

I (female, adult?) really don’t think I am, because I’m not, but I’m being forced to write this, so here we go.

Long story short, I shoved my friend off the top of the stairs, but he quite literally asked me to kill him.

It’s honestly very simple, but I suppose that I have to provide context.

My friend is evil. So am I. That’s the defining point of our friendship. And it’s not some sort of perception thing, he has blatantly admitted that he is evil. He also happens to have this “good” roommate (mspec, male/nonbinary, older than both of us, adult?) who is ridiculously naïve.

Somehow, while being trapped in a household with these idiots, they managed to get into an argument over whether cereal is a smoothie, something that isn’t even worth arguing over. God has decreed that a cat is a taco, so food categorization doesn’t seem to matter that much. And after this completely inane discussion, my friend’s roommate decides to annoy my friend, and ends up poking fun at his, well, it’s not necessarily a speech impediment so much as style in which he speaks, but that’s still heavily rude. I asked my friend if he wanted to do away with this guy, and he agrees. I wouldn’t have done anything had he not agreed.

I lay a trap, which requires consent of the person being murdered. They step into the trap, and stay in the trap. It is a known fact that I am evil, I have said that before, the people there know what I am. And they choose to watch, none interfering, including the friend. One even hands me a knife. So then I kill this guy so he doesn’t hurt anyone else. But then my friend freaks out, which is weird, when he literally asked me to do this, but I give him time and space to mope, because maybe he’s in shock. And no one else really cares that much about the death anyway, so it’s not like I did anything grievous.

Unfortunately the guy came back as a ghost, but my friend couldn’t see him, which is good because he doesn’t need toxic influences in his life. (If only the roommate would change and stop manipulating people.)

Eventually my friend gets out of his funk and decides to do evil stuff with me, arson, breaking and entering, just some small stuff. I let him direct what we did, because I wanted him to feel supported and in charge. I didn’t make him do anything, he planned it or agreed. There was no coercion whatsoever. Honestly most of it was me following his demands. I wanted to give him a distraction from his sadness, even though I had a concussion (different story, very irrelevant).

Someone else (non-binary, adult?, younger) walks in on us while we’re breaking and entering, and drops some important information about my friend, namely that he sleeptalks and has been apologizing to his former roommate and current manipulator, so naturally I pull him aside to talk about this. You can’t recover if you bury your feelings, so I wanted to give him a chance to process them.

And instead he starts screaming at me about how he misses his roommate and how we were wrong to do anything and how bad everything is. And then he shifts and blames me for everything, for something he asked me to do. I try to set the record straight, and he suddenly decides that we aren’t friends, and he’d rather be nothing than have a platonic bond with me, and that a dead guy who hurt him matters more than someone who has been his friend since forever.

Admittedly I may have overreacted and started screaming, but admittedly he was the only person I was close to, especially because the manipulator had likely pushed people away from me. They acted differently than they used to. They acted the same way before his death as they did after his death, but after he came back, they started changing, and I don’t know what lies he fed them, but apparently they were warping everyone’s perceptions. And it turns out that later my work was for nothing because somehow my friend can see his ghost roommate again, who manipulates him too, which is likely what triggered this whole thing.

I didn’t want to lose the one person I may have had left. So I got a little heated and eventually yelled that maybe I should kill him so he could be with the person who apparently somehow became his new best friend. And he agrees, says I should, that he wants it, that he actually wishes it would happen, but that I probably don’t have the guts to do it.

And we were at the top of the stairs and I was still emotional, so not really realizing what I was doing, I pushed him. And he fell, and he died. And I wish I hadn’t done it, but again, he asked for it.

And it’s not that his death was permanent, he came back. He came back and now he’s happy with his roommate and no one hates him for the roommate’s death but they all hate me for both of their deaths when that’s what I was asked to do, and isn’t it unfair? My friend hates me for his death, something he literally asked for. Everyone treats me like this horrible person, this villain, but that’s not what happened! They’re hypocrites who don’t recognize their own flaws, they just look for an easy target and hate them instead of actually thinking.

I’m not a horrible person. I was doing my best. I don’t know why no one else sees that.

[cynicalone94]

Leave Me Alone

**Trigger warning for discussion of past child abuse**

Voight scans the crime scene.

The murder of a witness is a big deal and the DA’s office is begging them to figure out who killed him. And fast.

“Halstead, Upton talk to the widow.” he orders. “Burgess, -”

“Sarge.”

He freezes at the quiet interruption from his lead detective, turning to the man with a raised eyebrow.

“I can’t interview her.” Halstead says, staring past him to the woman standing with a pair of patrol officers.

“You wanna tell me why?”

“I can’t..” Halstead shakes his head, a sheen of sweat covering his forehead. “I can’t.”

He turns and races toward the truck. Voight nods for his partner to check on him and then returns his attention to the scene.

After assigning out tasks, he heads over to talk to the widow himself.

Jay Halstead doesn’t scare easily and he wants to know what this woman had done to his kid.

Jay hears Hailey climb up into the passenger seat of the truck as he sits there, staring at the dashboard and trying to will the past to go back to where it belongs.

He’d never expected to see Katie Springer again.

Now he can’t contain the panicked memories of the past, of some of his earliest trauma, faced when he was still too young to have any defenses built up.

“Jay?” Hailey says quietly. “Are you okay.”

He just shakes his head.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

No.

“Is there anything that I should tell Voight about her? For the case?”

He shrugs.

The last time he’d even heard her name, he’d been eight years old. He hasn’t exactly kept up on her life.

“Jay? Who is she?”

“Leave me alone.” he begs. “Please. Just leave it alone.”

“Okay.” she says. “What do you need?”

“Can we just… get back to work?” he says after a long moment and she nods.

“I’ll check with Voight and see where he wants us.” she says, brushing her hand over his shoulder.

He flinches away from her and she grits her teeth.

Voight needs to keep her away the grieving widow too.

Complicated as it is by the fact that neither detective on the team will even look at their victim’s widow, they solve the case.

They’re able to tie the man’s death to the man that he’d been scheduled to testify against, making the DA’s office very happy.

The only remaining question is what do they do about Katherine Wellman?

Voight calls Hailey into his office to discuss it.

“He won’t talk to me.” she says, twisting her hands. “Anytime I try to ask him what the deal is he just shuts down, begs me to leave him alone. I don’t like it Voight.”

“I don’t either.” he says, shaking his head. “But he isn’t the only one who knows what happened. And now that the case is closed, I can ask her about it.”

Hailey agrees to the plan and an hour later, they’re sitting in the Wellman living room.

“I wondered how long it would take you to ask me.” Katherine says with a wry smile. “I didn’t recognize him at first. It’s been almost thirty years.”

“You want to tell me what happened?” Voight presses.

“I was a bitch.” she says. “I was fourteen years old and so selfish. So stupid.”

Voight doesn’t say anything.

She is ready to talk and doesn’t need any more prompting.

“Jay was practically a baby when his mom got sick. Just five years old. My mom was friends with Eileen and she knew they needed help. Eileen spent so much time in the hospital and in for treatments. And they couldn’t afford for Patrick to take time off work to stay with the boys or to pay for a sitter. They were drowning in hospital bills. So my mom volunteered me.”

“Without talking to you?” Voight questions.

“I was dating an older guy.” Katherine says. “Mom didn’t like him and wanted me to stay away from him. So I got volunteered to babysit a five and eight year old for free. It wasn’t so bad. I picked the boys up and walked them home from school. Then I did my homework while they played in their rooms, fed them dinner and then got them into bed.”

“When you wanted to be somewhere else?” Hailey asks.

“Yeah.” Katherine agrees. “But that wasn’t the worst of it. Jay… his mom had had to take him with her to one of her appointments because she didn’t have any choice. And he… saw something. I never knew what it was other than that he’d slipped away from the nurse who’d offered to watch him and that he hadn’t stopped crying for days afterward.”

“Babysitting a traumatized little boy is a lot for a fourteen year old.” Voight says.

“Don’t.. pity me.” Katherine says, shaking her head. “I should have told an adult that I was overwhelmed. Instead I… I complained to my boyfriend. I whined endlessly about how hard it was to have him waking up crying every single night. How hard it was for me.”

“And he had a solution?”

“Oscar was a jerk.” Katherine says. “But he was older and he was interested in me and I thought he was hot. When he suggested gagging Jay when I tucked him into bed I told him I wasn’t going to do that. But over the next week or so he kept suggesting it and Jay kept waking up crying. And I was losing hours of sleep every night trying to calm him down and get him back to sleep and I was exhausted so one night I… I tied one of the scarves that his mom kept around the house to cover up the hair loss in his mouth and told him he had to leave it there so he wouldn’t wake Will up anymore.”

“And then you kept doing it?” Hailey asks.

She’s trying hard to keep the sympathetic tone in her voice but it’s obvious that, as the details of what this woman had done to her partner are starting to unfold, anger is beginning to take over.

“Not every night, not at first.” Katherine says. “But once I’d done it once it got easier. And when I didn’t for a few days the lack of sleep would make me cranky, angry. It had been about a week that I hadn’t before the first time that he took it off. I woke up to him crying and I was confused because I knew I’d gagged him and I… when I went into his room he was crying. Said that he didn’t feel well and it had gotten hard to breathe. But I was tired and a selfish bitch so I tied the scarf back in his mouth and used a second one to tie his hands so he couldn’t take it out again. And then I went back to sleep.”

Katherine is crying now but Hailey is having a hard time finding any sympathy for her.

She’d tied up a crying, sick five year old and then left him to face his nightmares alone.

“That went on for a couple of months.” Katherine says. “And then one night Oscar showed up after I put the kids to bed. I thought he wanted to spend some time with me but he was more interested in Jay. And he… he started burning him with a cigar. I begged him to stop but he wouldn’t. I grabbed my phone to call… I don’t know, the police or my mom. That’s when Oscar told me that if I told anyone he would tell them what I’d done. That he’d say that it was me who burned him.”

“So you let him keep doing it.” Voight concludes, face steely.

“Yes.” Katherine admits. “For weeks. He would burn him and cut him and Jay would just cry the whole time. Until… one night he didn’t. He just laid there and didn’t make a sound the entire time. I called the police in the morning.”

“Did they know what you did?” Hailey asks.

“I admitted to everything.” she insists. “I got a deal in exchange for testifying against Oscar. It was expunged after I turned eighteen and there were no other charges but I… I know how badly I screwed up. Pat and Eileen trusted me with the most important things in their lives and I treated one of them with completely unforgivable cruelty.”

“Did you ever do anything to Will?” Voight asks.

“No.” she says. “He… he never cried or even woke up in the night. I don’t think he even knows what I did. I saw him at a church thing a few months later and he asked why I wasn’t watching them anymore. I didn’t even get the chance to answer him before Eileen showed up. And the look she gave me. I didn’t know it was possible to feel more guilty than I did then. Until I saw Jay the other day. Until I realized who he was and why he was looking at me that way.”

Hailey just raises an eyebrow as the woman looks at her.

“I’ll never be able to make up for what I did.” Katherine says. “I was stupid, selfish, immature and I will never forgive myself. I don’t expect you too either. That’s not why I’ve told you about what happened. I know how much seeing me again must have hurt him. He needs someone and you need to know what you’re helping him with.”

Hailey has heard enough.

She doesn’t know if she buys the woman’s remorse but she is right about one thing.

Her partner needs her.

Jay’s been a detective too long to not know the second he opens the door that Hailey knows everything.

“Come in.” he says, stepping back.

Hailey heads for his kitchen, wasting no time arranging their usual glasses of whiskey.

“How much do you know?” he asks, picking up his glass.

“Voight and I talked to Katherine.” Hailey tells him. “She told us everything she did to you and everything she let her boyfriend do to you.”

He nods, taking a gulp of the whiskey.

“I’m sorry, Jay.” she says, using holding her own glass to keep from reaching out for him.

“It was a long time ago.” he says.

“You were five.” Hailey says. “And you trusted her.”

“She was pretty cool.” Jay says, looking up at her. “She used to play with me at church functions when I was like two or three. Some of my earliest memories are of my mom talking to someone and she’d come over and play peek-a-boo. I was pretty excited mom told us that she was going to be watching us.”

Hailey’s stomach clenches. That knowledge only makes things worse.

“I thought she was actually trying to help me at first.” he admits. “I didn’t understand how but I… I thought she was my friend.”

“Why not say something when you realized?” she asks gently.

“Mom and dad needed her.” he says. “They couldn’t afford to pay someone to watch us. I’d heard mom say that Katie was a godsend. I knew that Will was losing sleep. And I heard Katie crying a couple times. I knew how tired she was, how hard my nightmares were on her.”

“You blamed yourself.” Hailey fills in.

“I was enough trouble.” Jay says. “For everyone. I didn’t want to be any more.”

“Oh Jay.” Hailey says, setting down her glass and stepping toward him.

“I know it’s not true now.” he says as she reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder. “But back then it felt like I just needed to shut my mouth.”

With a sob, Hailey pulls her partner into a tight hug.

“I’m not going to insult you by pretending you’re never any trouble.” she whispers. “There isn’t a person alive that doesn’t cause trouble from time to time and we both know that. But you are worth every bit of it, you hear me? You are worth everything.”

He hugs her back, letting his face rest against her shoulder.

[hecksupremechips]

Must discuss the lgbt headcanons for the malcolm in the middle family because I have given it so much thought and I’m simply going silly at this point in my life okay okay so

Hal and Lois are first and foremost very obviously a bi couple. Most people would probably assume Hal is gay based on his booty shorts and him attracting armies of men all the time so when they find out he has a wife they think she’s his beard. He very offended by this because how DARE someone imply that he isn’t madly in love with his wife. Lois finds her gayass husband very attractive so she’s mad about it too. Lois also doesn’t get clocked as often as she uses it to her advantage like if someone says something homophobic she just very coldly mentions shes bi and everyone is like oh god oh fuck she’s gonna start killing and we don’t have popcorn-

Francis I’d say, regardless of whether or not he’s attracted to men, has definitely had gay sex at least once because first of all. He went to a strict military school with all guys who were all horny and repressed and two. Francis lives for the chance to cause some fuckery and being gay would piss off the authority figures so he just laughs maniacally and starts sucking and fucking. It’d be especially funny if he did it to spite Lois because when she finds out she’s just like “…okay? Do you not know this family this is the gayest house on the street” and Francis is just like oh. Yeah. Damn

Reese is gay as hell and everyone knows it except him and no one wants to say anything because he needs to figure it out on his own but it just takes him like. Excruciatingly long to get the hint. The family just starts dropping like the least subtle clues like “oh if a close family member came out as gay I’d be completely fine with it so Reese *cough cough* if you ever need to talk to me” and Reese is just like :D lol what

Malcolm is tricky because he’s the most likely in the family to be straight I’d think but I think he thinks about it a lot in a healthy way and he comes to the conclusion that he won’t confine himself to a strict label but he’s mostly just into women. And hes pretty satisfied with that. Then like years later he just gets hit right in the face with the biggest gender crisis you’ve ever seen

Dewey has known he was gay his whole life and he’s just like yeah okay I’m gay that’s nice. And hes just normal about it just living his life it’s just as natural to him as breathing and then as a teen he gets asked about girls and he’s just like OOPS I FORGOT I HAD TO COME OUT but he’d stop himself from coming out and he would like. Just be extremely neutral to any questions about his love life cuz he wants to see if his family and friends can actively figure out if he’s gay. They can’t they all think he’s incredibly straight one time Dewey just had a boyfriend and he wore rainbow clothes just to see and nobody noticed so he just accepts his curse

Nothing left to say but I just wanna remind everyone that Hal and Lois mean everything to me they are so valid 🥰

[brawlsbigbadonkers]

brawl for da ask meme 😎

You’ve opened a dark box op…I am so normal about brawl I promise….but hear me out. He’s literally me. I would kill for him. He’d kill me with no hesitation.

I think brawl is one character who doesn’t have a lot of screen time or anything but DAMN if you can’t help but enjoy him. You get ABSORBED in his loud personality. The way he talks, how he thinks , his relationships with others. All of it. He’s the perfect example of simply written done right (in my opinion). He’s incredibly flawed but that adds to him. You WANT to see this tank absolutely DEMOLISH bots and be loud while doing it. He needs therapy. But I am very fond of in IDW, Specifically TAAO, when he discusses his feelings with windblade about how he didn’t like the feeling of dying and how he doesn’t want the war to come back because he’s sick of fighting. BRAWL is sick of FIGHTING. Fighting, something that SURROUNDS this character, it’s a trait that’s ALWAYS with him, ready to fight. But he’s tired of it, he expresses that concern that maybe ALL of them are tired of it. You can tell he wants to move on, he takes jobs from blast offs connection to work, he’s not in the happiest position but he definitely making the best of it. You can tell he still likes a good beat down, but he’s tired of fighting for pointless reasons. and that’s *sobs* I have such a connection with him because he’s a really good character. But he’s also me. He’s so me. He’s often called dumb and loud. And I relate to that. The little to no volume control, the constant anger that’s on the tip of snapping, the way he thinks. All of it. I can see a part of myself in him. I want him to go to therapy or rehab or SOMETHING !! I used to have a slight drinking problem, so I just- I just want him to heal, but not as a “we gotta “fix” this guy” but rather “hey, he just needs somewhere to express his emotions with out harsh judgement.” I want him to be loved and cherished like he deserves. I love him and I’m very normal about him I promise. I’m cutting my rant because if not I won’t shut up.

THANK YOUR FOR THE ASK!! :D!!

[ofbrokendreams]

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. Part Three

Part three of Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

Part One

Part Two

Hit up AO3 for the full fic.

TW: cursing, discussions of sex, discussions of abuse, discussions of mental health, discussions of drug use, discussion of suicide, depiction panic attack, pregnancy (let me know if I missed anything)

TEDDY BEARS AND MATRIMONY

Syd’s looking for a new place the next day. Bigger, nicer, two bedrooms, better neighborhood maybe. Close to The Bear but a train ride into work isn’t a problem. 

Carmy let’s her do her thing. Just along for the ride at this point. Watching Syd handle this like she does their kitchen is incredible. 

She handles this new change in their life and he handles their restaurant. He feels more focused than he ever has. He thought he’d been at the top of his game in New York, with a psychopath (sociopath?) in his ear, but he was wrong. Standing in his own place, plating his own food and Syd’s, working with people who want to be here, who want to create and serve, its different. It’s better and it pushes Carmy to be better. To live up to the way people gravitate to him, listen to him, follow his lead.

They move into their new place (two bedroom, five minute walk from her dad’s) on a Monday. With a bunch of staff helping pack and move and follow the U-Haul. And he’d feel bad about it but they’re a family, and he has some qualms about “we’re a family” workplaces. But as Tina directs the chefs on where stuff goes “Follow Sydney’s labels, puta. It’s so easy.”, Carmy thinks it might be okay. They might just be a family. 

And nine months is such a long time.

But it goes by in the blink of an eye. 

And he’s never been a huge picture guy but he can’t help it now. Taking pictures of Sydney almost every day. Some of them together. Some of himself, which is…which kills him..but-

He tries not to think about it, not to freak out, not to lose it. But his father fucked off. Her mother is dead. She never got to know her and Sydney’s got pictures and some videos and stories and that’s all. And it’s not enough but it’s all he can do. 

So he takes pictures of Syd and himself and of himself usually at The Bear and videos of her too. And sometimes he just talks to his phone, voice memos in his notes app about all the shit in his head that he thinks might be important. That he’d like to know about his dad but doesn’t. Stupid shit like his favorite movie and why and if he has a favorite color and how he met his mom from his perspective. 

And he takes pictures of Nat and Richie. Of Uncle Marcus and Aunt Tina and when Sydney’s friends visit he takes pictures of them too. Of the small dinner parties they host sometimes on Monday nights. Of the walk from home to grandpa’s place. Of their family and their life. 

He wants to make sure if anything…if anything…their little Teddy Bear has something. Knows their mom and their dad.

It’s such a stupid nickname. Syd says it once, “They’re gonna be just a little teddy bear, Bear, just like you. Fucking softy,” she giggles and Carmy rolls his eyes almost out of his head but it sticks. It fucking sticks. 

They decide not to find out the gender and everyone wants something to call the kid and it’s Teddy, sometimes Teddy Bear. And Marcus asks over and over if they’re going to name them Teddy…really? 

Its cold, snowing when Syd rolls over one morning, belly getting bigger, Carmy does quick math in his head, badly, and it should be week nineteen he thinks. “We should get married.” Carmy says the second their eyes lock.

Sydney scoffs and rolls back over. 

They close four weeks out on a Saturday. 

Update their Instagram and put up a sign on the door. ‘Chefs are getting married, reopen tomorrow.’

They don’t mean for it to become a thing, but it does. They’re going to the courthouse then back to The Bear for a party with everyone. And it’s…it’s just family but then it’s Chef Terry and Luca’s coming in from Copenhagen cause he’s…important to Carmen and he’s…a friend (“Oh my god, yes, he’s your friend you are such a loser” Syd laughs at him when he asks if it’d be weird to invite him) and Sydney’s got friends, like real friends quite a few actually, and family, real family. And their building is to small for this but its okay because its still not to much.

He fights with Nat about Donna. He’s in a better place, he’s doing well, he can handle it, he wants her at the party. And Nat, of all people, is against her coming. She’s admit that Donna doesn’t come, and its Sugar and she gives Donna all the grace in the world but she won’t…she’s unwilling to let Donna ruin this day for Carmen and Sydney. So Carmy takes his big sister’s advice and doesn’t tell Donna until after they’re married on a brief and difficult phone call.

Bear: 9:38 am; you were right

Sugar: 9:40 am; I’m sorry Bear

Sugar: 9:41 am; I love you Bear

Bear: 9:42 am; I love you Sugar

Nat and Sydney spend a couple Mondays scouring thrift shops for wedding dresses before finding it. Its not a wedding dress, strictly speaking, but its white and it fits and its a little weird and lacy and pretty and when Sugar asks if Sydney feels like a princess, like a queen she nods and Sugar grins.

“The fuck is that?” Carmy asks one night when Sydney’s embroidering an SB into the corner of a new red scarf. The white thread stark against the silk wine color. Syd’s nose scrunches. “It’s my fucking initials, the fuck?” “That’s S-A, Syd.” She looks at him like he’s really stupid. And Carmy swallows. “Oh. Oh okay.”

More importantly, he didn’t think she’d want to like…Syd’s a modern woman and-and he’d assumed, like an ass. 

He’d never thought she’d want his fucking cursed name. To be a Berzatto…like him. To share that with him. It’s so shocking that he’s still thinking about it hours later. 

And that night when he wraps his arms around her waist, hand spread over her round belly he smiles into the skin of her neck. “Thank you Syd.” “Partners yeah?” “Yeah partners.” “Besides its a good name. I like it. And Sydney Berzatto sounds right. Sounds good.” “It’s-it sounds perfect.”

It’s just Sugar and Mr. Adamu at the courthouse. Sitting in the gallery. Sugar’s trying not to cry and Mr. Adamu’s not hiding his tears. 

The Judge is nice and the whole thing is quick. They vow to each other: Carmen Anthony Berzatto taking Sydney Aisha Adamu as husband and wife. 

Carmy’s never smiled this hard in his life. And Syd will make more fun of him for that then if he was a crying mess. And they kiss and they’re married. 

In front of God and country and family they’re tied, for forever, for as long as she’ll have him.

She keeps her ring on its chain around her neck, at her heart, it’s easier for work. Carmy does the same with the golden band she gives him. (And a few months after she gives birth they’ll be side by side at that stupid tattoo parlor getting the date etched into the skin around their ring fingers.)

Carmen waits for the anxiety to kick in. But when it starts he tamps it down quickly. Terri’s voice in his ear, “You deserve happiness Carmen. So does Sydney and if you make her happy then why deny that for yourself?”

The party starts in the afternoon when they arrive back from the courthouse. There’s cheering and hugs and pats on the back. Cicero- Uncle Jimmy claps him so hard on the back that Carmy almost doubles over.

It’s all hugs from Marcus and Tina and Ebraheim and Sweeps and Angel and Manny. And the freshman and they probably shouldn’t call them that but they sometimes rotate out and there’s always someone new so- 

Cousin’s got Eva, even though its Tiff’s day cause she somehow still likes Carmy, and she’s coloring with Mikey at a table and Carmy sits with them for a little while letting people come to him so he doesn’t get overwhelmed. 

They eat the excellent food their staff prepared for them. And Syd calls Richie a fucking idiot when he says he forgot to get Syd a bottle of sparkling grape juice. So she toasts with seltzer and shoots Richie a stink eye. 

Syd’s friends and family throw her a baby shower a few weeks before her due date. And it’s maybe the first time they’ve both been away from the restaurant on a Saturday. Even if it’s just for a few hours in the middle of the afternoon.

It’s teddy bear themed because of course it is. 

Tina threatens to turn off her phone if he doesn’t stop texting her to ask how everything is going. 

And then their home is filled with furniture boxes and baby clothes so small he can’t believe it, even though he’s held Mikey and changed his clothes before. And toys and books. And they spend a Monday painting the room butter yellow and it’s so happy and cheerful he wants to throw up. One wall is covered in photographs on the walls hanging from the ceiling on down to the floor, all the evidence of their life he’s taken waiting for his kid. And Sydney cries when he shows her the mural he’s been working on on the opposite wall of all the fruit he can think of. She curses him out for fucking with her hormones and they make love until the sun comes up.

[seeyoulikeair]

So, here’s a slice, under the cut, from my never being fully published anywhere Seaquest fic called “Something Really Stupid”. I thought it wouldn’t amount to anything significant, but it became a 172 page “masterpiece” to 19 year old me. Looking back upon it, there are some major moral/illegal aspects that 19 year old me thought was fine -but they really aren’t hence why in the big scope of things, it’ll never be published from start to finish. 

So have a fake dating, love “triangle” Tony X OC X Lucas little slice.  

He opened the front door and there she was lying on the deck. The sound of the doors’ function didn’t even faze her. She looked peaceful but he knew it was just an act. Up and down, rise and fall, went her chest as he stared at her. Disturbing her was something he wanted to avoid.

An hour went by. They still hadn’t moved. He was leaning against the door while she stayed on the floor. It was like she didn’t acknowledge his existence.

“You alive?”

“Yup.” She said it slow enough that the ‘P’ popped.

He made his way over and lay down next to her. He clasped his hands together and rested them on his stomach. Holding her hand was what he wanted but since her hands were behind her head, that wasn’t possible. Worry set in as he wondered if plans were going to change yet again. Things weren’t working out for the two of them –especially her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

She let out a long heavy sigh. Tears didn’t fall; she did enough of that when she was alone. “I told my dad that Lucas didn’t know about the baby until after the fact.”

“Must’ve been hard.” He thought it was something much worse –like the triangle.

“He just wouldn’t shut up about it, you know. He kept going on and on about what we planned on doing with it –where to live, how to get money and the like. I just cracked.”

“Moving forward sucks doesn’t it?”

“So does going back.” She turned her head to look at him, his eyes staring at the ceiling. A few seconds passed before he shifted his eyes. His head turned and gave her a subtle smile. “Want to know what the worst part is? That wasn’t even the worst part of the day.”

That struck him as curious. She hated telling her dad the truth, well about her current situation. If that wasn’t the worst part, he had no idea what to expect.

“If Lucas did anything…”

She sat up as she spoke. “We finally had the discussion that I’ve wanted to have. Our feelings for each other are crystal clear. I feel terrible because it reminded me of when you left in the cab, except I was you.”

“So is this…charade still going on then?”

“He said he’d continue it as long as he has to.” He was hoping for a no. Kissing her, touching her body again, was always on his mind. Having not been able to do any of those had been killing him. “I’m glad that I told him I just…didn’t want it to happen like this. I wanted a plan, but I should’ve known better seeing as every plan I’ve tried recently has screwed me over.”

For some strange reason he felt sorry for her. It made him feel like he felt bad for Lucas but he didn’t. Lucas had had this talk coming for a long time now. He was now even with him. Everything Lucas had done over the past month and a half was finally paid for. A smile was growing and he had to force himself not to; she needed consoling.

“Sorry Babe,” he said as he sat up. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around her for a hug. Her arms went up his back, hands resting on his shoulders. “Maybe laying everything out with him will make things easier.”

Could it, she asked herself. Ever since she tried, and failed, to tell him the first time things had taken a turn for the worse. Maybe telling him wasn’t so bad after all.  A thought then popped into her head; if he didn’t give up loving her before would this time be any different. He always reminded her that he was still in love with her and that he would always be. Why were guys so confusing?

“I hope you’re right,” she finally managed to say. “Most likely, things between the three of us won’t change. He still loves me and tells me that he’s probably never going to stop.”

She slipped out from his grasp and sat in front of him, leaning back. Leave popped into her mind and she wished they could relive it. Her dream was interrupted when he spoke. “Does that kid grasp the meaning of ‘moving on’? He is a genius isn’t he, or is that all just a cover.”

She let out a laugh. She hadn’t laughed for a while and it felt wonderful. “He’s afraid to move on because he fears that if he does, I’ll either realize that I still love him or we’ll be through.”

“He just needs to take a chance and hope for the best. I mean, he’s not going to stay single until either of you pass; that’s just crazy. Someone is gonna come along and he’ll fall in love.”

“Hard to find someone when you’re stuck on a ship out at sea for the majority of the year.”

“Well you did.”

She looked up at him. “I was lucky. You came to me.”

He chuckled as her head moved back, facing forward. “Yeah, but I had to wait. He’s just gonna have to do the same. So about leave…”

“I’m not sure,” she said with uncertainty. “My unintentional plans with Lucas have sort of got things a bit frazzled. If I still wait a few days after our ‘break up’ then the line before will be true.”

“Are you really going to try?” He sounded unhappy at the thought of them being close.

She sighed. “I miss him as a friend. Before you came along, it was like we were brother and sister.” He winced, making a gagging noise in the process. She hit his leg. “You’re gross. Our relationship was like the ones in the movies where the next door neighbor boy falls in love with the new girl. You start out as friends but eventually make it more, sometimes because you actually have feelings for each other or because you feel like you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. We went from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend to a vicious backstab betrayal to a fake relationship. Somewhere we lost the friend portion and I want it back.”

“Hey, I miss my friendship with him too but I know it’s never going to go back to the way it was. I’m with the love of his life –who happens to be the most beautiful girl on this ship, and my girlfriend. Even if we ever did break up, there would be no chance at getting our friendship back. We’d still be in competition over you. You just gotta find someone else.”

“Like how you have Brody?”

“Eh, I guess. I tell him one story and ever since, he starts talking to me on the bridge or in the hall.”

“Face it; you’ve got a friendship with him.”

She was smiling and even though she wasn’t facing him, he could tell. It radiated off her like the beams of the sun. “We’ll just go with the plan and wait a couple extra days. Maybe before leave you’ll be swimming.”

“Really?” Her head was up again, staring at him. She really wanted to be able to swim, despite her fear of drowning.

He chuckled again. “But I’m not making any promises. It takes hard work.”

She spun around and kissed him. God was she ever thankful for the events of today. Without them, she wouldn’t have had this enjoyment from their talk. Even though they didn’t kiss that long ago, it felt like a lifetime.

He pulled her down to the floor, their sides touching the cool deck. Going too far was out of the question, he knew that. All he wanted was to kiss her and then hold her until he was forced to let go. His hands kept trailing off, tracing her curves with his fingertips, grabbing the hems of her clothes, wishing for more. Unlike the other times, he had control over his urges.

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear as she set her head down near his. Her body was pressed against his, her back against his chest. He put an arm around her and she grabbed that hand with one of her own. Gripping it tight, she closed her eyes.

“I love you too Tony.”

Silence ensued as he waited to speak again. “Wish we could stay here all night.”

“Me too. I would guess we’ve got about an hour before Bridger comes to check on me.”

“Guess I’ll jump into the pool when the time comes.” He waited to speak again. “Do you ever think about the future?”

“I think about when I’m getting out of here –that’s in the future.”

He laughed. “Nah, I mean like way away, like ten years in the future.”

She paused to think about it. “Not really. I think about having kids and a big house but that’s about it. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Do you think about it?” Her eyebrows were raised in interest.

“I’m 22; of course I think about it.”

“What do you think about?”

“Uh, nah, you’d think it’s stupid.”

Rolling over, she gave him a light shove. “And you don’t think my lack of future plans is stupid?”

“Alright,” he said with a grin. It faded as soon as he spoke. “I think about a big house overlooking the ocean. There’s kids without gills runnin’ around, bringing me arrest warrants to hang on the Christmas tree.” He chuckled at the mention of the family tradition. “And I see you.”

She propped herself up, staring in awe. “See me where?” she joked.

“With me.” Her lips met his. When she pulled away, she left her face inches from his. Her eyes were filled with doubt. “I really do. If you could read my mind, all you’d hear is you.”

Her back hit the floor, eyes fixated on a section of the ceiling. The thought of his dreams excited her, yet they scared her. Since her present was so messed up, she never really thought of a future. She wanted to know how the current situation was going to end before making any permanent plans.

“That’s not a stupid dream at all. At least you have one.”

He lay down next to her again, looking up at the ceiling too. “You’ll have one.”

“I used to have one.” Her tone changed to a saddened one. “Before coming here, after my mom died, I wanted to be a teacher. Then I came here, finished home school, and now I haven’t got a clue as to what I want to do.”

“One day you’ll know.” He turned and kissed the side of her head. “You’ve still got time –a lot of time, being stuck here on this ship.”

Silence hit once again. She turned and looked at him skeptically. “Gill-less kids?” She held back a laugh as he turned and looked at her. He smiled, laughing in the process. She followed his lead, letting it escape her mouth. “They could end up like me, a swimming hazard.”

“When I volunteered I never asked for the extra info like genetics and the like. I just wanted to get the hell out of the brig.”

“Shouldn’t matter though. You’d love any kid you got.”

“Hold that thought.” He got up and jumped into the pool. She knew what was going on.

The door creaked open and close. Bridger walked over to the deck and looked at her. She seemed better but the sadness was still there. “Mind if I sit down?”

“No.” He took a seat. “Sorry about earlier.”

“No need to be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She looked through the grated deck. Tony was looking up at them. Sighing, she looked back at Bridger. “I’m just an emotional mess right now and I’d rather just forget it, ya know.”

“I have a feeling you and Lucas had a long talk after I left.”

“Yeah,” she said with disappointment. “He’s not talking to me right now.”

He put an arm around her and started to rub her back, trying to be consoling. “He’ll come around; give him time. It’s tough hearing the truth.”

If only he knew, she told herself. Bridger finding out the truth would blow his head off. It wasn’t just a simple lie she had been telling; it was one that could sink the seven continents. He would question everything she’s ever told him. Their relationship that was already fading would be gone if he knew the truth.

Bridger sighed and started to get up. “I take it you’re going to stay in here with Darwin all night?”

She nodded her head. “I want someone to stay in here. I tend to do crazy things in my sleep when people are hurt.”

“I’ll send Brody down.” He headed for the deck door but turned back around. “Have you seen Piccolo recently?”

“No, why?”

“If you see him, tell him to come find me. I’ve got something for him.”

“Will do.” He walked away from the door and wrapped her in a hug. “I love you dad.”

“I love you too.”

As soon as the door clanged, Tony surfaced. He pulled himself onto the deck and looked at her. He was pissed. She had no idea if it was from the conversation she had with Bridger or if he read his mind and knew what he had planned. Her guess was the latter of the two. She handed him a robe.

“I can’t believe it!”

“What?” she asked in complete darkness.

“I’ve got night duty for the next two months. He’s nuts if he thinks I’m going to go through with it…”

“Tony.”

He ignored her. “I mean, I could get a week or a day but two months!”

“Tony!” He looked at her. Very rarely did she shout at him. “You’ll be gone in a week and won’t be back for eleven days.”

A lopsided smile grew on his face. Grabbing the sides of her face, he pressed his lips against hers. He let them part, letting his tongue explore. She started to giggle and he abandoned the mission.

“What?”

She looked at him, her hand running through the hair on the back of his head. “Nothing. I just…I wish this was something that would stay forever. Kissing Lucas is nothing compared to this.”

[anomalys-taxonomy]

Party Favor to a Friend

Finally finished this one-shot. I know I’m jumping from idea to idea a lot but I do not pick what the wheel of ideas in my brain lands when it stops spinning.

Summary: two friends discuss purchasing a box-boy one met at a party

Warnings: child abuse/ general abuse mentions, missing person mention, institutionalized slavery

“You want- I thought we both agreed that kind of stuff is..” he trails off in confusion, trying to find an non-confrontational way to say unhinged. She’s not that kind of person. She’s the kind of person who *makes fun of* that kind of person; detached rich people who do insane things because they can.

“It is which is why I need you to. Or really want you to, if you can. I don’t know exactly how this works, but I know you have the money for it,” Anthe starts, and Tim waits. Out of all her spur-of-the-moment ideas, he isn’t quite sure how she’ll manage to convince him on this one. “Basically, I was at this party, and this girl who USED to be my friend had a boyfriend who owned a box boy, and I ended up meeting him a few times after that. He just looked.. He was so battered I was surprised he could move,”

Damnit.

He nervously taps his fingers against his leg, a few moments passing. If he’s not careful, he’ll chew a hole in his lip.

“Aren’t there.. people, for that? A hotline?”

She sighs, in a way that he knows she’s frustrated but will explain if he asks. But she’s already thought through this a thousand times and probably has some very good reason why that wouldn’t work. He doesn’t know, off the top of his head. He imagines it’s generally the same reason why no one ever interfered with the way his parents raised him, and why Anthe wouldn’t trust any authority if it killed her.

“Okay, so.. hotline won’t work to help him. How do you know his owner will even let me?” Tim says.

“Because I’m pretty sure the guy only got him because of his girlfriend initially, but ended up beating the shit out of him, and his girlfriend wasn’t into the bruises,”

“Ah.” He swallows. His shirt is getting wrinkled from the way he’s scrunching the fabric between his fingers. It’s not like he’s going out today, anyhow. “And.. what would I do? Assuming I can get him.. he’d just live with me?”

“You have mentioned your new place is very empty,” she says. Her voice sounds a little uncertain, now. Somehow that makes him more nervous. Usually when she has some big idea, she’s brimming with bravado.

“Maybe a rescue?” Tim says instead. “We’d have to research it, but it would probably be better than me keeping him. I’m not exactly equipped to help someone who’s gone through that sort of thing, and I don’t really know anything about box boys,”

“Yeah. That’s probably better. I just.. he’s hurting,” She says. “I know it’s not like I can save everyone, but we could save him. He reminds me of you. And Lemmy,”

The next few moments are static. There are sounds but be processes none of them.

“-ou there? Tim?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.” He breathes out slowly. “You usually don’t mention them,”

“Well, it makes you fucked up and zone out,” she says. “I wanted to wait till you’re ready to talk about them. But he really does remind me. I think it’s the eyes, a bit. They’re green but they almost look kind of hazel-y sometimes. And he has a bit of a southern accent, too, but I think they must’ve taught him to hide it,”

“Right,” Tim breathes. “Do you ever wonder if they..”

he isn’t quite sure if he has the words.

“Ended up signing up to be a box boy? It doesn’t really seem like them, but nothing about that whole thing did either. I kind of.. hoped so, sometimes? Used to, before I met Gin - the box boy. Because at least they’d be alive. But now.. I don’t know if I could ever hope that kind of thing for them,”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Tim nods. “I would just.. think about them being on vacation in some nice place, and just forgot to tell the rest of us.”

Anthe snorts. “Like a tiny tropical island? With the little umbrellas in the booze?”

“Yeah, like that,” He agrees. “And they listen to the ocean every day. And sometimes they’re tempted to call but whenever they do there’s just no service, so they get back to playing volleyball and surfing and having bonfires,”

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” Anthe says, fond and sad in a way that makes him scrunch up his shoulders and look away from his phone. It’s maybe a good thing she can’t see him.

“Yeah. I think I just think about them a lot in general. Not that- not that you don’t, I just-“

“I get it,” she assures, and he takes a breath of relief. He’s a little terrified of the undertone that maybe she knows- that he loved them. It’s not something he’s ever told anyone, but she would probably be the one to figure it out. And for some reason, the idea of someone knowing.. especially when he never even got to tell *them*.. it makes feel a little sick and weird inside.

“So,” he says, trying to fill the silence. “The box boy’s name is Gin?”

[mukimokai]

Cyno’s compliment is also backhanded

“i don’t like people who are too smart, but he’s one of the more reliable ones…” in the most pissed off tone possible.

i don’t mean to deny that it adds to alhaitham as a character, what i meant to say was that, even despite all the good things he’d done in the quest, there isn’t any, for lack of better term, “thanks” towards him.

He doesn’t want people’s thanks, it’s not in his character to accept it at all, nor does he care enough to worry about it; but it’s a little bit upsetting that the character who was basically the only reason we actually saved nahida gets so much shade from everyone despite having only showed good intentions every single time he does something. he does good so often that you’d think they’d realize he just has a harsh tone and is actually a good person who does good things and learn to go “lol typical haitham,” the way they do with cyno: “gah, his jokes aren’t funny but we love him lol”

alhaitham doesn’t give a damn about people’s opinions, and that’s good on his part, but that doesn’t automatically make the way he’s constantly being talked about behind his back okay either.

Tighnari outright telling you not to trust him, “sure he’s not a bad guy or anything but likeeee don’t get to close to him”

Candace finding him “unusual” and immediately thinking he may have ill intentions against Aaru, she says she hopes he doesn’t; but why assume that anyway? the only interaction she had with him was watching him read quietly and discuss his plan to save the archon with everyone, how do you get ill will from that?

Dehya mocking him for being uptight even after he almost willingly gave himself up as ransom to stop her from getting her arm cut off.

Cyno immediately attacking bro with full intention to cause actual harm the second he does something wrong despite them apparently being friends before hand and was still pissed off the entire time even after alhaitham had proved he wasn’t harboring ill will.

i didn’t think i alhaitham was a bad person at all when i met him, he’s blunt: sure, and it can hurt people’s egos and i’d understand the hate he gets in game if it was coming only from NPC’s and stuff but the fact it’s coming from the people he considers his friends gave me a bad taste in my mouth lol

that was my original point: i don’t mean to say alhaitham isn’t definitely such a unique character, it’s just weird to me that the guy who did nothing but help from the very beginning is so ostracized by the cast, even if he avoids most social gatherings anyway, they still act like he killed their relatives when all the guy did was be himself and help out however he could

sorry for the rambling, there wasn’t a short way to put my thoughts down lol and the og post was a bit short and i was too tired to go into depth of what i actually thought about.

and woah, i said all that without going into all the details with him and kaveh that basically prove alhaitham is actually a really good person who cares very deeply smh

tldr: alhaitham is a nice guy despite his blunt and straightforward nature, and it’s weird that the people he considers his friends are constantly acting like he’s not a good person despite all the good he’s done in the quests

Why does nobody ever talk about the fact that all of Alhaitham's voice lines about others are positive while every voice line about him is negative, even from people in his friend group?

the only positive thing said about him by another character is Nahida who shouldn't count because Nahida never speaks poorly of anyone anyway.

Without Nahida, the last nice thing is Kaveh saying "he HAS a personality." and Layla saying "he's lucky that he's the scribe because he doesn't have to worry about essays and stuff."

That's it.

That's literally it.

That's the only "nice thing" ever said about Alhaitham by the Sumeru cast ever.

one of them is backhanded (kaveh's)

and the other is just layla wishing her life was as easy as Alhaitham's job......