#I vented enough
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I'm deeply sorry that this is happening to you and that you are being forced to remove your art because of a bunch of F up freaks, your art is the best and I back you removing the stuff but it sucks you have to do this seeing most of us respect your boundaries but there always ones who have to ruin it for everyone else and can not act normal in anyway aswell as not being able to treat artists and art with respect.
Again deeply sorry that this is happening to you.
I appreciate it ;; I tried to address it for a long time but I just might as well give up :’0 sadly I don’t want to see the arts on my blog anymore TTwTT they make me feel bad pffft =w= and I do appreciate everyone else being respectful and supportive tbh ;v; it’s not easy to bring this kinda stuff up but enough is enough and I don’t want to keep seeing it xD thank you for your words ❤️🩹 it’ll be Okie (๑و•̀ω•́)و✨
#pix answers#ah to everyone else who sent me stuff off anon sorry for the private replies I didn’t want to spam the dashboard#I just want to move on now and draw other characters#and start to forget all this hopefully#>>)b it makes it hard to draw without worrying#im worried about this happening again ngl but yknow#aaa anyway#I vented enough#im really doing better 😤#everyone has been understanding and nice and supportive and i appreciate that#💖💖💖
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I think Pangur likes the new bed
#pangur#I needed one big enough for all three of them!#the previous bed has been put against another heating vent. now every vent has a bed
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.
that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
#leverage redemption#leverage#parker leverage#harry wilson#harry wilson leverage#parker#wren speaks#leverageposting#the sun roofs (or are they just lights?) really get me lmao#ALL of the person-sized vents are unrealistically large so this is not criticism! this is a generic convention!#vents are not human-sized and clean or remotely safe enough to reliably crawl through irl#but basically every building in every crime drama has comfortably person-sized vents#usually for knee crawling not even people lying on their stomach bc that’s difficult to move and looks sillier#and that thin layer of the ceiling under the vent is usually surprisingly built well enough to support a persons weight#and there’s no fans or rats or dust or bugs or that foil tube stuff i forgot the word for#and it’s often oddly well-lit. and that’s okay! it’s fiction! we’re having fun!#sewers tend to be unrealistically large + accessible + well-lit etc in fiction too.#anyway my point is i’m not saying this as criticism! just a neutral obserativion of something i found funny!
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
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Kind of a random hill to die on rn but "You'd eat this thing you hate if you got hungry enough" does not set a reasonable expectation of what "hungry enough" means for people with food problems.
Like, are we talking "stomach grumbling" hungry enough, or "can't stand up" hungry enough? Cause personally, I can make myself eat a bit of a pork chop if I'm barfy and shaking and can't see straight anymore, but if it's down to "black out for three days and wake up angry and confused" or "willingly swallow prosciutto", I'm having sleep for dinner. And I know this from experience.
People without food problems don't seem to understand this and it drives me insane. "Hungry enough" is for shit like chewing drywall because the alternative is death or cannibalism.
If I say I can't eat something, It means I can't eat it. It Is Not Edible To Me. It's not even appetizing. It literally does not register as food. You might as well hand me a rubber duck.
And it's frustrating!! Trust me, I wish I wasn't like this, too!! This isn't a choice!! I know it can be rude!! It's embarassing!! It's complicated and annoying and irrational!! That doesn't fix the problem!!
I just wish people didn't treat this sort of thing as "being picky" or lacking willpower or basic manners or something. I can't make myself eat certain foods the way you probably couldn't cut your own fingers off. Does that make sense? It's not just food. Fuck
#Food#Venting#Rant#Hunger#Disordered eating#texture issues#Food issues#It's ridiculous enough to live like this as a kid#I shouldn't have to put up with this bullshit as an adult too#Fucking shit
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When your identity issues collide with your feelings of being unwanted ;p
Oops! Loops angst /personal vent!
Only doodle cuz. eepy.
#no sketch#straight from brain to paper#cuz eepy#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat two hats#it's more-so implied than anything buuuut. kinda important for context imo??#cuz y'know. Not Their family#they already have a Siffrin so there's no need for Them#yk yk#id tag the rest of the party but like.... i barely drew thems......... idk idk i feel like there's not enough of them to tag em yk???#i was originally gonna color this and shit tbh i just. ugh. tired mann i don't wanna do all thatt#maybe i will in the future. probably not but. maybe.#vent#vent art#vent post#my art#art tag
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Abandonment issues go brrr
#trying not to cry rn lmao#he’s my FP and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it#why is growth so damn hard#I know I’m making progress but moments like these make me feel like I haven’t grown at all#I’m trying but I feel like it’s not good enough rn#abandoment issues#boyfriend#relationship#relatable#mental health#BPD#actually bpd#actually borderline#relationship problems#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd problems#bpd mood#bpd feels#bpd stuff#bpd shit#bpd fp
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sigh. boxer oscar
#NGL doubtful abt posting this#*_* havent drawn in abt 3 years bc i am vry self critical LOL#but idk i wana try to pick it back up#k enough vent#I FORGOT HIS MOLES. Sigh its like this.#oscar piastri#my oodles
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I can't stop f*cking eating
#law of assumption#thin$po#tw thinspi#light as a feather#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#tw ana mia#tw mia#tw restriction#tw skipping meals#⭐️vation goals#tw#body ch3ck#ana gc#anadiet#tw ana bløg#ana miaa#ana y mia#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#bonespø#not thin enough#thinspø#i just want to be thin
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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"Your heart was in the right place. Don't blame your earnestness and efforts for their lack of understanding—the right people will appreciate your heart."
EDIT: i mention this in the tags already, but please don't copy my vent tags in your reblogs. thanks for understanding.
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#self-insert#my OC Esther#nearly didn't colour this because i was really happy with the lines#but i'm glad i did#please don't copy these tags i'm just going to vent a bit#sigh i've been really feeling it lately#just very discouraged when my efforts to help are dismissed#i know i'm a people pleaser and i just want people to like me#but like#sometimes we just don't click#and it's not worth trying to work myself to the bone to convince people to give me a chance#and it's not fair to blame myself for the friendships that never came to be#they're on their own journey and i'm simply not a part of that journey#just as they are not a part of mine#and that's fine#it's easy to forget when we can connect with so many people online#that we have a limit to how many quality relationships we can realistically maintain#what does it matter if you have so many friends who “like” you#but have no one close enough for you to be open and honest with?#so i will save my heart for those who appreciate it#for friends who will celebrate with me as i celebrate their achievements#who i feel comfortable enough with sharing our troubles and sorrows and supporting each other through it#those are the friends who are worth my heart
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i want to kill every person you've ever chosen over me and then kill myself in front of you
#bpd#bpd vent#bpd favorite person#bpd fp#actually borderline#actually bpd#heartbreak#betrayal#disloyalty#just use me until there's nothing left#how am i both too much and not enough for everyone#i hate the entire world right now#i hope climate change takes us all out and kills the entire human race#fuck everything#tw sui ideation
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okay before i forget. i've been trying to put my finger on why people saying phoenix and maya are 'sibling-coded' pisses me off so much and I think a big part of it is how important mia is to both their introduction and also the foundation of their relationship and how calling phoenix and maya 'siblings/sibling-coded' waters down all of their relationships
phoenix wishing that maya was mia is a very big part of maya's arc as well as a big sticking point in phoenix and maya's relationship. phoenix spends the majority of turnabout sisters wishing that 'the chief' was there and when maya fails to channel her he shows outward disappointment. this is something that maya obviously picks up on and internalizes as we see throughout the rest of the games. most notably maya shows remarkably little self-preservation, throwing herself at von Karma's taser and in contempt of court to help edgeworth (and by extent, phoenix). she openly admits to feeling useless when she can't channel mia and phoenix never refutes this out loud until he of course presents the bullet to her showing that she wasn't useless. phoenix is notably bad at expressing his thoughts/ and feelings so its honestly debatable whether this gets through to maya but thats neither here nor there
on the other side of it, maya wishes that phoenix would be the caring adult figure that she was missing for most of her life (and especially after mia dies) and phoenix does not do a great job of being that figure. he likes her sure, and they're good friends, but he's definitely not nurturing or sensitive whenever maya is in distress. at the end of turnabout sisters when mia tells maya to "take care of phoenix" for her, maya starts calling him nick (because that's what mia said phoenix's friend calls him) and their dynamic for the most part is solidified. maya is not able to find mia in phoenix and accepts him as his own person and a part of her life as a friend.
phoenix has a more complicated journey with viewing maya as her own person partially because of the whole spirit-channeling thing, and partially because maya is younger than both the chief and himself. phoenix is constantly looking to a mentor for guidance and feels out of his depth for most of the cases in the trilogy. he frequently wishes that mia could be there, and is shown to value maya's ideas less, or at the least question them more at face-value. nevertheless, by the second game phoenix relies on maya greatly as shown with how he copes (or fails to cope) with her absence in rfta and 2-4, and 3-5. phoenix views her as both an integral part of his life and support structure, but also views her as someone he has to put on a brave face for, much like pearls. maya is phoenix's young friend that he leans on and wishes to protect.
maya's love for her sister is a core theme that spans the entire trilogy and culminates in maya almost dying in 3-5. phoenix's love for mia is a constant driving force that pushes him past what he believed himself capable of, and encourages him to trust those who become those closest to him. phoenix and maya's relationship is colored by their own relationships to mia, and how they view each others relationship with mia. they both represent a part of her that they never knew as well as a part of her they can keep loving in her place after she is gone, but most importantly, neither of them will ever be mia. no one else can be maya's big sister and no one else can be phoenix's mentor. they meet each other as two strangers set adrift by the same lost mooring, and though they'll never be secure in the way they were before meeting each other, they have a friend to help keep themselves afloat.
#okay im mad enough that this is going in the main tag#genuinely send me hate mail for this id be fucking Delighted ive had a hard week and id love to vent my frustration#also if anyone decides to be snarky in the tags your ass is getting screenshotted with the water filter so i can laugh at you#ive had it up to HERE with you people#aa#fey and co#aa meta#portal of rambling#maya fey#mia fey#phoenix wright
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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You know he’s gonna get away with it.
#chiligerart#comic#loathsome coworkers#cc 2224#darth vader#grand moff tarkin#star wars#QUE LA MUERDA#one of my main rules for this series is that tarkin must always be bullied whenever possible#don’t worry the ensign will be safely transferred to another station with better pay#no shade to any of my irl coworkers but I despise birthday celebrations. a ‘happy birthday’ is good enough we don’t need to sing about it#vent resident
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