#I took off this year its insane
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I posted 1,560 times in 2022
That's 381 more posts than 2021!
76 posts created (5%)
1,484 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@imfluentinfangirlandgay
@astro-b-o-y-d
@teddybeargamer
@comedydoctor18
@medusolo
I tagged 422 of my posts in 2022
#pokemon - 132 posts
#pokemon legends arceus - 84 posts
#arceus - 66 posts
#submas - 63 posts
#ingo - 55 posts
#smish pokemon - 47 posts
#legends arceus - 45 posts
#legends of arceus - 42 posts
#warden ingo - 36 posts
#pla - 33 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#all i did was buy the lightbulb decoration and filled it with the bits from some moss stuff in a baggy in the craft isle of the dollarstore
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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1,230 notes - Posted November 9, 2022
#4
Didn't fit in my previous sketch dump for Arceus, here's Choo Choo man and his Sass ass co worker of the mountains! I need to express how hard hands are, Mellis hand can go to heck XD
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1,296 notes - Posted March 13, 2022
#3
Someone give this poor woman a day off she needs it so badly ;w;
2,330 notes - Posted March 23, 2022
#2
I'm now obsessed with drawing joltiks, and FINALLY decided to draw Emmet at last, do not separate the train blorbos!!
2,463 notes - Posted April 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I've come to the realization, I can't stop drawing newly hatched sneasels and weasel cat dad Ingo, someone come stop me please, im held in a death grip drawing Itty bitty babies
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7,470 notes - Posted April 3, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#It does not surprise me in the SLIGHTEST its all Pokemon/Legends related stuff XD#I took off this year its insane#i made that many posts though really? Thats very surprising wow#nearly 7.5k notes on my top post I STILL can't believe it got that many at all im still shocked it went around that much and still goes!!#thanks to everyone who checked out my stuff and even stuck around! Its been a rough year for me personally but many good moments happened!#Keep rocking and rolling you guys and so will I~!
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does anyone else have problems like. i cant watch movies if my room is messy. i cant listen to music in the bathroom bc its like, a dirty place and i dont want the music to know im cleaning my bathroom or whatever the fuck it is. i cant write a paper in a stained shirt bc ive got these invisible eyes on me n it’s embarrassing. im exploring the idea that i might actually have OCD n not just a half hearted suggested diagnosis from when i was like 10 n this sounds like bizarre behavior so idk does anyone know anything. i would love to just live my life
#it took me years to be ok w changing clothes or eating w the tv on.#im gearing up to explain to my therapist that when i was young my main coping mechanism for abuse#was that really intense daydreaming but in particular id imagine a fictional character or someone i admired was with me at all times like.#watching. n i could talk to them in my head n live in kind of an alternate world#but then it fucked me over bc as i got older i still felt like someone is with me 24/7#like to this day i do not feel alone ever bc theres some crazy invisible audience watching me#so i already have a lot of embarrassing things ive done in front of ppl to deal with but on top of that#im just always embarrassed bc theres someone watching me like eat chips in my recliner without makeup on#its insane.#anyway i cant watch movies if my room is messy n it pisses me off. JUST RELAX
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I actually for real feel like my phone's scanning quality has dropped monumentally while I was away on thing so that's a fun thing to figure out now. anyways
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#answering of ''sure'' whenever they ask ''are you gay'' strikes again#gods. genuinely at least on the export the quality of these dropped like to half. whats up with that#sorry if these are impossible to parse#anyways. scribbled these during ''holiday'' ''vacation'' ''getaway'''#sometimes it really is the simple things. hallucinating vividly about the casual life of a pair of teens to survive being in a car for 6hrs#WITH da family#so glad I picked up scribbling on paper again. I actually got stuff to do digitally today and!! literally it feels so much cleaner#like I feel like I relearned a bunch stuff doing traditional ink again for a sec#but yeah. u guys should know by now how much I think about food as a concept#took 3m off last year to write about it in fact. but now Im just microdosing by drawing langa#I'm also actually so insane about reki being a scaredy cat it's so. something. it means so much to me#this of course means koyomi is a jumpscare champion. among siblings that are close in age there must be#the one who sleeps in the lower bunk. and the one who ties a doll to a string by its neck and lower it down to be next to the others face#'why is that so specific' no further question. thank you#gods okay. I need to lay the fuck down it is now my time. to be in bed#Im onto some real exciting stuff rn! and when this piece is done I'll return to ink for a sec#so uh. ink comm maybe not this week. but the next#happy late labor day! seek and destroy. have a good night
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i wish k-12 education did better at helping kids find what they were actually passionate about alongside basic education. like yeah yeah all kids need the basics in math, science, english whatever but there's so little ability to explore new and interesting subjects outside of like the few electives you may be able to squeeze into your high school career at the very least. like the US education system has always needed a revamp, but it needs to include more ways for kids to just explore stuff.
#like i always wonder what would have happened if i didn't pick sociology junior year as a one-off semester elective#cause i could have taken a study hall! i could have taken any other elective really#out of the slim offerings most of the electives in my school were dogshit boring#somehow normal classes were more interesting that's how boring HS electives often are#but yet i took it and discovered a huge passion of mine#thinking of all the things a kid could be passionate about and just never know it until they're in college struggling to find whats#interesting to them#bc they never really got to explore anything in all their k-12 education and have no clue what they like for real its insane we#format shit like this
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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can my mom just be normal about my fucking adhd medication PLEASE. holy shit im so tired.
#boycritter et al#it took a over a year to even convince her to let me get medicated in the first place#and she didnt want me on them because i 'just need to form good habits its not that hard' which even if i wasnt like 14 during a#global pandemic would be kind of insane#and i told her id just take the meds and form good habits on the meds and then go off the meds#i do not plan on ever going off these meds for the record#and then it took another few months of me fighting her on letting me take fucking stimulants#and now shes like 'since theres no school you could just not take your adhd medication for a week so you have more backup'#i dont think you know what. adhd medication is for.
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tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.
#i feel like im actually going insane#my own sister backs up her husband (who i now see in a different light ((negative)) over me#and I was understanding at first. fine. maybe I do need to pick up after myself more maybe i am messy#and my friends and family even told me that because theyve brought it up so many times now maybe i am the problem and thats okay#so i. like yeah. okay i take up too much space. i'll step back. i stay out more. i'll clean my dishes right after i use them#i already do all that#and then today she DOES IT AGAIN!! and i broke down cause she basically said this is the last warning#you need to start looking for a new place (ive been saving up PENNIES for years. it'll take 3 full months of salary to even rent a ROOM)#it took me even longer cause i was unemployed for 6 months and had to use EVERYTHING I HAD SAVED#and i gave up. im back at home and i gave in. i took a video of my room and the living room and asked my friend#is there really anything else i have to do because i am TIRED AND I CANT SEE WHATS WRONG AND WHATS MESSY PLEASE#because fuck i feel like im actually INSANE cause the way my sister has been wording it to me its like im so messy#and my friend just replies..... i am so sorry for ever being on your sisters side because you are not messy at all#and the RELIEF i felt. the weight off my shoulders LIFTED OFF INSTANTLY#IM NOT CRAZY!!! IM NOT MESSY!! IM HUMAN AND NORMAL#im just so upset right now cause it just dawned on me that.... not a single person in my famiy has my back the way i have theirs#not even my own sister.... and im tired.#personal
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there's not enough discussion about how being excluded from social activities during primary school severely fucks up your ability to make friends and how, when you do make them, you think friends perceive you
#thinking back its insane how alone i was like#the person i would consider my best friend had a whole other social circle#and i was just. ok. with being “that guy from the class that i speak to”#and it was only really halfway through 2nd year college that i had people to speak to at lunch#cause i'd always just eat in the english classroom#and then in uni it took until end of first year to have a friend group cause i assumed i wasnt wanted#and i was completely fine with that#like i was prepared to go into second year without a real friend group#and im being so real when i say this tracks back to primary#ill delete this later cause it is mildly venty but#i wanted to get it off my chest#shouting into the void if you will#🥛ramble
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Sorry guys for being completely unhinged this weekend 🙏 but I can't help it and I refuse to be normal about it
#its been a good weekend what can i say#but like seriously i think this has been the most exciting and insane wknd of my life#like in terms of my interest and hobbies it has been fucking nuts#ive been so deranged thank you mutuals for putting up with me ilysm <3#ive screamed like actually fully screamed at the top of my lungs at least three times this weekend#(the end of that quali session and then josef winning the 500 and then the tomgreg moment)#but i feel like ive just been on crack this whole weekend#its just been insane event after insane event and ive just been completely unhinged !#but its been so much fun i dont think ive had this much excitement and fun in my life in so long#(bahrain probably hsjdjfkf)#okay anyways i need to have like at least 24 hours to calm down so bear with me#AND I STILL HAVE TO WATCH BARRY'S FINALE FUCK#but then after ive recovered from this eventful wknd ill be back on my bullshit!(gifing old stuff lolol)#okay just need to scream bcs i really just dont feel normal at all at the moment#like so many times this wknd ive had so many moments where ive been shaking and heart pounding and sweating#took like 50 years off my life but in a pleasant insane way#great fun i am having :D#again love you guys <3#catie.rambling.txt#oops must add:#succession spoilers
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what the fuck do i do now
#last show was this afternoon :")#we oversold and had a full house two shows in a row which is insane#fucking. every show was good. every show was perfect#i never missed a line bitches >:)#never missed a fucking line#my hands are all fucked up from poking myself a million times with the safety pin that kept my belt in place#my eyebrow is like missing the end because of the fake scab blood i put in it every night for act 2#my knees fucking hurt and my hip too#but like a good pain?#my point is like i dont know how to let go of the character?#like this was insane man#i havent even processed that its over#i think that a very very large chunk of my theatre experience occurred during the pandemic#and so my view of it was kind of skewed?#and then i took a year off#and now we're back at it and it feels like its 10 times more intense#idk. weird rant over. sorry
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COLLEGE APPLICATIONS DONE I’m free from the “no fanart in portfolio” curse. Anyway hits you with my visualization of a scene I wrote a while ago blast
#me when I have so so much work to do and my best friend falls asleep in my bed and that fucks with me so bad that#I can’t sit any closer or farther than the floor beside him#these guys are fucking crazy you know when you like a man and it destroys you inside and out#last year you got toxic doomed yuri this year. you get doomed yaoi#typing yaoi in my tags in the year of 2024 took years off my lifespan (I was on the internet when OMG MY YAOI BOYS was popular)#that’s honestly the only reason I didn’t make the caption HITS U WITH MY DOOMED YAOI BEAM#me proving im not biased and can and do write queer men and not just insane lesbians#guys i swear I write men too guys please#all romantic adjacent relationships in my original story are like. m/m f/f nb/f nb/m#14 year old me literally started this story with the idea that there wouldn’t be a single m/f thing going on#and now i think that idea is flawed but we’ve gone too far now#anyway#take a shot every time i tag something with anyway#it’s just so fun#posts for one audience member (Lorien) (when he sees this specific guy in particular) (IM RAMBLING IN TAGS DONT YELL AT ME)#oc#OCs#original character#original characters#original story#not super super happy with this but like its fine#breads guys
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i got a ds as my christmas present a few years back with a copy of animal crossing (which is considered a bad version of the game btw) and something i keep coming back to is these little objectively somewhat pointless interactions like going for a coffee. you just go to the cafe, and buy a cup. you drink it, and you leave. i always say goodbye before i go. im trying to say thanks. i cant really see any practical reason for doing it, it is objectively just a money suck, but i love doing it. at first i thought the little bird who runs it might open up to me but he doesnt seem the type, but i still like him, so i go and visit him. it feels so real. like he remembers me but doesnt like talking about it. its such an incredibly special and intimate feeling. i wonder if other games at the time were able to cultivate this or if it was unique
#ive only really played modern games where everything has a reward. it was so nice to do something so close to reality#im sure there might be some in game reason to do it but i dont know. maybe you get energy or something#i dont really care. i felt like i was forming a connection emotionally. i wish we still valued that in games#its the only thing im really interested in.#if you have any game recommendations for the ds lmk actually. my sister got a 3ds this year#its funny. i wanted a gaming console so bad as a kid. specifically a ds or a wii#and we have them now! and i dont much care about them. and im kind of glad. im glad i was forced to do something else#i do not look down on gaming as a hobby at all but i am glad its a smaller one for me#i would also like to talk about a similar feeling i felt when i played subnautica (which they took off the gamepass before i could finish i#what the fuck man.)#they briefly put the sequel on so obvi i gave it a shot but i feel it was terrible in comparison#something uniquely insane about the first one is the feeling of isolation. the deep fear#you crash land on the planet and immediately all your communication off-planet is cut and it seems everyone perished in the crash#you spend a couple of hours getting situated and then the ships core explodes. a huge shock wave shakes the entire planet#standing on top of my pod and looking out at the mountain-sized wreck was an insane feeling of isolation. you have to experience it.#and then you start picking up signals on your little tablet. other escape pods. the signals from previous missions who came to do research#you travel out. find food. build things. the whole time working towards seeing if you can find the other pods#each one#empty#often containing a log of their last moments. usually eaten by something. you got lucky#you landed in the only area without a massive predator.#you find alien tech. learn about a disease that wiped out the planet. the entire time you are completely alone#its such a unique feeling. no npcs. no story you have to follow if you dont want to. but god is there not much else. you'll get around to i#discovering the alien species is horrifying and amazing#its an incredible game and i think its sense of loneliness is its greatest achievement. being truly alone on an uncaring planet#sitting there and watching the fish swim by#its unmatched. truly#i would actually love game recommendations if you have any. i love games with unique story lines or characters too#im much more into stories than gameplay#which totally goes against what i just said about subnautica in theory but not in practice
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how does this week keep getting worse wtf
#this is. so fucking unbearable#the tinnitus makes me want to blow my fucking brains out i dont know why it got so much violently worse so fast#but i guess its like this forever now! and it only gets worse!#i thought id be able to deal with it but if it gets this much worse at this rate im so fuxking dead lol this is insanity#i cant take it on top of everything everything EVERYTHING else if god wants me dead this fucking bad she'll get it#life hasnt been worth it for 12 fucking years it CERTAINLY isnt worth it now that im blinder balder in more.pain and.crazier than ever#and the tinnitus makes the screaming in my head eternal#girl theres no point it just hurts to be alive#i cant pay to fix a single one of my problems and ill need tens of thousands of dollars to even kind of fix all of them#i never got to start my life#i never will. not as the person i was. or ever wanted to be. or even close. ive physically and mentally lost too much to do what id planned#and now i cant even live in peace normally even if i were able to 'fix' everything so much of this is permanent and degenerative#spent 24 years giving everything to my family and they returned the favor by leaving me in a rotting box to die and i let it work lol#only took abouy a year and a half too#my dad's family killed off their mentally ill youngest of six WAY faster than it took em to get to me so i guess they got rusty#anyway i love when the all consuming despair comes back im gonna go cry for a bit and hopefully fall back to sleep
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had a locked tomb dream in which one of gideons lowkey-only-bc-she-glosses-over-it-in-her-narration powers was teleportation as in she fucking kept teleporting and didnt seem to notice or think it was weird and when people called her on it she was like ‘yeah its called flash-stepping i read about it in some ancient-ass comic books i dug up in a back corner of the library on the ninth’ and everyone is like ‘???’ bc she says its not a necromantic technique bc everyone who did in it the ‘comic books’ (only the sixth know what manga is) she read was a warrior and most of them used swords so clearly its a secret advanced cav technique. and, she says, its not like it uses any spooky necro stuff, its ‘just a matter of honing yourself until you can move really fast’ so it might look like ‘teleportation’ to all of them but clearly that just shows that she got really good at it and is better than all of their fancy smancy ‘properly trained’ cavs. anyway, it turns out that using flashstep as the framework is the only reason why its been short line-of-sight bursts for her until now, once the penny drops she can straight up pop between planets. also she at one point mentions how ‘the wind’ roars really loudly in her ears while doing it and it turns out thats the sounds of the feral river ghosts bc she is, and i cannot stress this enough, constantly taking brief dips into the river.
#also this time canaan house was derailed by a teleportation accident and they all ended up in bayou country#which in my brain was only at like. somewhat apocalyptic levels of having rotted and been reclaimed by nature rather than 10k years worth#i assume my brain drew some l4d connection here bc gideon ended up stealing a white suit from a dusty wedding store which didnt quite#achieve the full tower prince look but which did passably reach 'nick l4d cosplay' a#also yes the rest of the planet was still pretty haunted. not canaan house mad science lab levels of haunted but it was definitely#more active of a haunting by which i mean there were zombies and creatures and ghosts and during the first of the regular possession checks#that the canaan house crew ended up instituting after a few incidents it was discovered that gideon and harrow#were both possessed at least a little by wake and alecto respectively and possibly counted as being lyctors bc like. gideon just by existin#had ended up tying wakes soul to the conglomerate pile of earth-ghost souls that constituted johns lyctorhood with alecto and that by#maing a connection to harrow like she did alecto also tied harrow into the same. when john showed up towards the end he defended his#sabotage of other attempts at lyctorhood outside the technique defined and oushed at canaan house as being bc it gets 'way too complicated#and messy (both necromanticly & in terms of personal drama & trying to keep track of who is where) to allow multiple bodies running around#as part of the same soul network#also to escape the first gids had to take everyone one by one to the ninth#bc its the only other planet shes been on and thus knows how to get to#and 1) everyone is like damn yall live like this? 2) the secrets of the ninth are exposed to the whole canaan crew by this 3) everyone is#severely adversely affected by going through the river like this and gideon is mostly like 'dont be a baby lmao just walk it off'#4) yes its still cytheria and yes she is having the time of her goddamn life. whatever the fuck is going on with *gestures at the ninth* is#both something shes possibly the only one equipped to fully understand how insane it is and also revealing to her so much about potential#ways to kill john that she is just rolling with it despite the fact that dulcie latched ontoher when gideon took her through the river and#is fully attempting to possess her with the full support of the sixth
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any last requests before my meds destroy my ability to be horny
#axel grinds on#idk how to ask my doctor about it man it took em a year to take me off prozac and prozac had me losing my fucking mind#'its just university' bitch i am fucking insane#also its fucking embarrassing 'these meds make me forget fucking is a thing i can like . do. can i have something else' kill me#they make me a functional human being but at what fucking cost (my dick apparently)
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screaming into the void
#mine#screaming into the void time#i took my space#instantly way less panic but i feel like shit still even after sleeping it off#i think ill hurt them if i stay in the friendships#i did promise im not going anywhere#but maybe its just better not to get close#all my besties are closer to me than most ppl and still theyre not close lol#not even the one i knew for years#tip of the iceberg situation - they only see this tiny bit bc i let them#i was trying to let them in these past weeks#every time i try i go through insane panics#thats not normal#im always like haha im fine UNTIL i want to be close to someone#but it rlly wasnt that bad before#like it would happen sometimes but not this intense#i think it could have sth to do with my ex#i blocked him this morning cuz idgaf and i will talk abt him more#i dont even like him i dont think abt him its been over for long and even the friendship - that just made me mad and then i was fine#but the way he treated me left some very visible marks and by that i mean bro heightened my issues#what wasnt that bad is now downright awful#i didnt run away so obviously this much id just yk 'forget to reply for a day' and then its fine#and i wasnt that scared to take up space and simply exist. sure groups are always rlly hard to navigate for me#but not this much#bc my ex made me feel insane. repulsive. absolutely fucking worthless and boring#he isnt the only perpetrator of these thoughts like i was bullied at school and my family is in fact a dumpster fire#but i took a lot of steps back in healing#i care abt these ppl so damn much#the thought of not having them around makes me rlly sad#but i wouldnt be able to livr with myself if i continued being rlly triggered by them being good ppl every damn time
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