#bc its the only other planet shes been on and thus knows how to get to

[fiendishartist2]

guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.

[iamthescalesofjustice]

had a locked tomb dream in which one of gideons lowkey-only-bc-she-glosses-over-it-in-her-narration powers was teleportation as in she fucking kept teleporting and didnt seem to notice or think it was weird and when people called her on it she was like ‘yeah its called flash-stepping i read about it in some ancient-ass comic books i dug up in a back corner of the library on the ninth’ and everyone is like ‘???’ bc she says its not a necromantic technique bc everyone who did in it the ‘comic books’ (only the sixth know what manga is) she read was a warrior and most of them used swords so clearly its a secret advanced cav technique. and, she says, its not like it uses any spooky necro stuff, its ‘just a matter of honing yourself until you can move really fast’ so it might look like ‘teleportation’ to all of them but clearly that just shows that she got really good at it and is better than all of their fancy smancy ‘properly trained’ cavs. anyway, it turns out that using flashstep as the framework is the only reason why its been short line-of-sight bursts for her until now, once the penny drops she can straight up pop between planets. also she at one point mentions how ‘the wind’ roars really loudly in her ears while doing it and it turns out thats the sounds of the feral river ghosts bc she is, and i cannot stress this enough, constantly taking brief dips into the river. 

[theangrycomet-art]

Loonatics Unleashed: the Vester Clan

The Vester's have been serving their planet loyally for centuries, especially if that means throwing a coup. Blanc's wellbeing is far more important than some bratty bird's extended lifespan.

Sylth is a strong example of this, staying and defending Blanc despite the royal family's mistreatment and abuse on his person.

He will not, however, tolerate such abuse towards his family.

Thus, he was quick to send his little sister and only son off where it was (supposedly) safe.

How was he supposed to know that a Frelengisian conflict would end up screwing over a planet in a completely different system?

Lore below the cute

Sylth Jr.

16

he/they

Sylth Sr's pride and joy, he is a kind, if a touch cowardly fellow

inherited his father's lisp

on the Basherball Team and very skilled (he's hoping to get a sports scholarship to Acme Tech eventually)

wants to be an aerospace engineer or a professional basherball player- depending on how the cards play out

custom built their own basherbike

despite his timid nature he can talk your ear off about his passion projects

he's the kid that's friends with everyone but besties with no one

at least IRL

he's got two online friends that he's very close with (they send design ideas to each other, rant about their day, play video games, etc)

living with his aunt

he misses his dad and wishes the stupid yellow bird would just keel over and die so he can come home

they have a fishing trip planned

right leg was mutilated on Blanc when he was attending the young Royal Tweetums (he was about 10 years old)

it was later amputated, due to medical complications from delayed treatment and the wound being further aggravated during the healing process

he has a prosthesis and crutches, but tends to vary up what he uses based on comfort level

Pol Vester

28

She/her

camerawoman (cameracat?)/reported

loves her job even if she doesn't like the people

despite her skill she keeps having to change companies

worked on several movies, but was eventually fired due to the director "suddenly developing a cat allergy"

used to work for Misty Breeze but quit due to poor working conditions

worked briefly for an incredibly shady fight ring where the owner got FAR to close for comfort so she bailed

currently working for another news anchor and hoping to eventually be able to get a position as an onsite reporter

friends with Paula Hayes (Weathervane- tried visiting her in prison but they wouldn't let her through bc she didn't have clearance)

isn't nearly as attatched to Blanc as her brother is (especially given that almost every member of their family has perished due to the carelessness of it's current rulers)

Acmetropolis, despite its numerous problems, is her home now

[newtonsheffield]

Hello again!!!! I'm the Spanish girl back in here!

Firstly, I'd like to send you my best wishes for this tough week of work, and I bet we're going to miss you around here this week. But duty calls! And, look, how many people can say they've got a whole week for relaxing after a week of work? 😌 (Perhaps I've misunderstood the whole thing; I've read your posts quite quick and I've understood sth different to what you wanted to say lol)

Well, what can I say with one of the last prompts you have gifted to us...? Kate, Anthony (and his Spanish!!!!!!) and Spain; you got me there. 😂 I even cried the famous "Ole!" when I read all of it (curious note: not all Spaniards use the expression "ole" in daily contexts; it is more like a regional expression that became worldwide famous bc of several reasons that are too long to post here, lol) and I think it's needless to say I loved it... isn't it?

And, I LOVED a lot Edwina's POV and story (well, I've loved everything you have posted and gifted to us, but Eddie has a special place in my heart)! I don't know, but sometimes I get the impression that, in romantic literature, relationships between sisters are not addressed at all and kinda force them to be friends (if they're not rivals... which I find stupid, tbh), not really deepening in the bond between them. Like, they're sisters and they behave more like "my next door neighbour and friend to whom sometimes I'm distant bc life happens" instead of "this person and I share much more than many people can imagine that's beyond friendship and she's more important than anybody else" -idk if this makes sense anymore... I rewrote it a couple of times bc I got the impression I can't express my idea very well 😂-. And that's something I think both of you, JQ and yourself, have achieved and gifted to all of us! We see Edwina and Kate as sisters: they fight, they tease the other, they can't stand each other sometimes, but always, ALWAYS, they care for and love the other just as sisters do. Because of this, I think TVWLM is one of my favourite books in this genre: they give us a two fantastic love stories, not only between a -heterosexual- couple but also between sisters; which is as important as any other kind of relationship.

After my TED Talk (sorry if it's been too much... 😅), I cannot help but imagine an escapade between Anthony and Kate (sans children) and Matthew and Edwina (oh, Matthew... I love you) to Spain just for Anthony, in his stupid one-side battle against Matthew (I love this, tbh; it's sooooo fun 😂), demonstrate Matthew he can speak fluently another language... Just for Matthew be oblivious to this and enjoy a little escapade to Spain with his girlfriend and her family. 😂

Anyways; I hope you're alright and, again, I wish you all the best for this week.

Besos!!! 🥰 (Spanish equivalent for the "Love!" farewell expression; it means "kisses")

Hola! You’re back again! And I’m so glad! 

I do have a week off once I finish work tomorrow (Saturday)!! Very Exciting! I have a scarf to knit, and lots of writing to do so that’s very exciting. 

Oh Anthony on a Spanish beach in tiny little flamingo shorts? Ole! indeed! That is a curious note, I literally love learning things about other cultures and languages so if anyone wants to share a curious note about their culture, hit me up! I will in turn tell you about the curious culture of The Land Down under, and our propensity to butcher the English language!

I agree, Sister relationships are a very curious thing in media. I’m not a huge fan of very contentious relationships between sisters, I’m not saying they don’t exist in real life, they definitely do, I just think having them as constant rivals is exhausting. And Yes! I Love the relationship between Edwina and Kate very much because I see it as a mirror of my relationship with my own sister. My sister drives me more insane than any other person on this planet. We fight, we bicker, I get absolutely enraged when she steals the last property I need for a set in Monopoly, and yet, She is my favourite person. She can say whatever she wants about me, but were anyone else to? It’s fight on sight. I’ll be honest, that all I’m doing is basing their relationship in these fics  on my own with my sister. Nothing special! 

Okay! Here we go! Anthony and Kate + Goose and Edwina +Spain

Kate Bridgerton was many, many things, but she liked to think an idiot, was not one of them. And so, when Anthony had said, in a tone she was sure he thought was casual. “I think we deserve a holiday, you’ve been working very hard to grow the little broad bean after all and your sister and her little gander should celebrate their engagement.” She had known exactly what he was up to. And she wasn’t really sure why she played along along with it. Perhaps something in her thrived on the chaos she knew Anthony would would create, perhaps part of her just really wanted a decent paella. Surely it didn’t matter, the result was the same: Kate fixed an innocent expression on her face and said  “Where did you have in mind?” 

 And so, surprise, surprise, here she was: back on a beach in Spain. She had to admit, eyeing Anthony appreciatively as he paddled demonstratively in the shallow water, his plan had its merits. though thus far his attempts had been... unsuccessful at best. Matthew Bagwell seemed absolutely thrilled to be in Spain, on holiday with his fiancée, giving them helpful facts he knew about the architecture as they walked through the city, a wide smile on his face, Anthony practically purple when he corrected a fact Anthony himself had said.   “Do you speak Spanish, Goose?” Anthony had said dryly in the hotel lobby shortly after they’d arrived. And Kate had rolled her eyes at Anthony, though Matthew was not paying attention. He had his arms wrapped tightly around Edwina’s waist, whispering something in her ear that made her nose crinkle in delight, the sapphire of her engagement ring glinting in the sunlight. And the beautiful picture they made gave Kate’s heart a little stutter. Anthony tutted. “Matt!” He said sharply, getting the man’s attention, Matthew’s glasses slipping down his nose as his head shot upwards in surprise.  “Do you speak Spanish?” Edwina was rolling her eyes now. And Matthew, for his part was completely unbothered  “oh, no. Sorry Mate, might have to lean on your pretty heavily this week.” He said, and Kate caught the smug smile on Anthony’s face and bit back a groan Damnit Matthew.  “I’m pretty fluent in French, German and Mandarin though!” Matthew said smiling happily, turning back towards Edwina, completely oblivious to the scowl Anthony tossing his way. “Of course you fucking are.” He muttered, fixing Kate with an irritated glare as a laugh escaped her!   

The water surely must be a little cool in early October but Anthony showed no signs of it, Beckoning Kate into the water. She groaned and made her way towards him, laughing happily as he tugged her in, his hand resting on her stomach, still no sign of her pregnancy. “Is he watching?” Anthony whispered in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist, spinning her through the water So she had a brief image of her sister smiling brightly at her fiancée who appeared to be... bless him building a sandcastle. 

“No. He’s not.” Kate said batting her husband’s hands away irritatedly as he scowled.  “Are you really trying to look more in love than they are?” Kate scoffed, disbelief at her husband’s idiocy rising with in her. Anthony looked indignant. “No! A man can’t take an interest in his wife now? Very poor show Mrs. Bridgerton.” He said, but his eyes, darted towards the shore at the last second.  “Oh I cannot believe you! You’re absolutely manic!” She replied as Anthony attempted to pull her back towards him, Kate putting up very little fight as she tumbled against. him, his voice hot in her ear. “Insufferable I hear.” Kate scoffed. “Ugh! If Anyone’s insufferable it’s him!” 

Kate turned to follow Anthony’s gaze to find Matthew waving at them, grinning broadly, completely unbothered. And Kate couldn’t keep from laughing as Anthony went on another muttered tirade.

Besos! 

[jonroxton]

can you talk about chlark beyond chloe? personally i think it's weird that the writers kept adding kisses and weird romantic moments without any pay off. i don't know much about the fandom back then but i think the writers were baiting fans since clark/chloe seems to be the second most popular ship after clex. second i personally think chloe would never be happy with clark or anyone tbh and she doesn't seem like the type of person who would have kids so the finale was weird to me.

this got looooong :)

0. it WAS weird, and the choice to never not once go for it with them was to the story's detriment. I'll get into it a little later on in this post.

Re: shipping in sv fandom. there was definitely drama (clana was HUGE when the show was airing and every ship was basically derailed by it lol) but I stayed in my clois lane with a small circle of fandom friends much like I do now. a good measure of clois fans were fans of lois and clark from other mediums, come to sv just for lois and clark, myself included. we were pretty insulated as a fandom even back then. I do remember seeing more Chlark after the S5 finale (when Chloe kisses him goodbye), but those dropped off after Jimmy was introduced right away in S6. The most drama I encountered was with Chloisers: Chloe fans who believed wholeheartedly that Chloe was Lois. They hated SV!Lois and were convinced she would die so Chloe could take her name and job and place by Clark's side, thus a Chlark endgame. this was a popular theory amongst that fandom even into s9, when the clois ball started to roll for true.

bait and switch

a lot of Chlark is rooted in this notion that chloe WOULD be the best thing for Clark, the ideal Lois, the true best friend, the human hand guiding him through Earth's troubles. she would be could be the BEST possible lois archetype for Clark. it's not a wrong interpretation. she was specifically written as a lois-and-lana-proxy (teenage lana is a reporter in some AUs and even some as an adult as a tv correspondent) and she's given many lois-ish traits (tenacious, secretly crushing on clark and in denial), but this interpretation is deeply flawed. first, because lois does eventually enter into the picture and she has her own defining traits that, when compared to chloe, make chloe seem much shallower than realized. secondly, within the complete context of the story, her position in the greater narrative is not as ~the one who got away, the way it did very early on in S1-S4, but one who clark tolerates.

they're friends because clark is forgiving and chloe has staying power. their friendship is riddled with insecurities and unknowns the characters create for themselves. their dynamic is defined by conflict, not resolutions. this is not made easy by the fact that chloe is such a strangely written character, but ultimately she is positioned as a counter to clark achieving his happiness. not a thematic narrative foil but an obstacle clark eventually relents to.

2. and it has been so from the get-go

S1 is the best season for them and the single season which actually considers Clark's side in this dynamic. everything about them later on can be explained with how they are in this season. and that's the problem. when they're 14 it's nice teen angst drama and works perfectly to establish the dynamic. when they're 24 it's at best a pattern, at worst regression. we expect certain behaviors, dismiss them too, when it's children, at least I do. clark and chloe never move beyond the dynamic they establish in s1 and early s2. in essence, clark and chloe remain children around each other. they have many discussions in the later seasons that make at least one appear petulant.

so S1 clark has just been told the greatest secret of his existence and he imprints on lana hard that same night (right AFTER jonathan tells him, he meets lana at the graveyard and talks to her for the first time EVER, a lot of childhood imprinting going on in SV). all of s1 follows clark's heartache over lana, watching her from afar and figuring out a way to be near her. this pain is exacerbated by the fact that he believes he caused her her greatest grief: the death of her parents via the meteor shower which he arrived in.

here the first beat of the chlark dynamic is established: chloe's job and passion – the wall of weird and her pursuing the meteor infected oddities of SV - directly affects clark in a negative way (he's suicidal for much of s1-s3). so her crush on him is countered with her unknowingly causing him great grief. om top of that: clark becomes part of this passion of hers and she eventually begins to pursue him as a story to be uncovered, very superman yes. here tho, it causes nothing but strife for them and paints chloe in an awful light (and clark too, highlighting his refusal to open up). I personally enjoy this aspect of them in s1. bc they're so young I give em a free pass and it's a good conflict playing around with old superman tropes, but it makes for a fraught friendship.

3. the second beat

is that neither chloe's crush on clark, nor his asking her to stop pursuing his truth, do anything to stay her. her tenaciousness becomes intrusiveness and inconsideration (many of her accomplishments irt the daily planet are directly bc she betrays clark). she simply will not listen to her friend and does not believe his livelihood and autonomy is worth losing a story over. this is literally the opposite of comics/live action lois lane, who in various versions drops the clark reveal story to protect him. this passion turns vindictive pretty early for chloe, who eventually pursues stories about clark out of jealousy and entitlement (against lana also).

4. the third beat

is that clark doesn't ever see chloe as romantic prospect except this time in s1. the tornado trapping lana pulls him away from any solidifying of the clark/chloe dynamic, and that's that. but we know clark was willing to go for it in early s2 when he apologizes to chloe about running off on her. it's chloe who decides not to go on with the relationship. clark is visibly confused, but also 15 so he can't see that chloe is putting on a brave front to protect herself from clark running off again. I liked this too as it's another play on superman tropes, but my sympathy for them stops here.

5. and stays here

these beats are the entirety of this dynamic. everything about chlark can be distilled down to their childhood. it's why I don't hate them completely, bc I have a lot of love for kids who hurt in such a way and that time is never easy. in s8 (I think its s8) when we get a flashback to when they meet as kids (more imprinting!). little tenacious cute chloe kisses insecure clark bc of the funny awkward tension, acknowledging it, and then immediately takes it back because they're better as friends. (also they’re like 11 lol)

every single romantic moment with them is undercut either by chloe herself, or by the presence of other storylines/romances the writers wanted to pursue. the lack of integrity in chloe and the lack of interest in clark, regardless of how sincere their connection or how messed up, is a central part of their dynamic that needs to be reconciled with their friendship. and its exhausting bc there is never a point they are ever truly comfortable around each other.

6. to a fault

knowing the secret doesn't change chloe's methods. it doesn't make chloe clark's great confidante. if anything, it complicates matters for both because their relationship then becomes about the greater good and clark's great destiny. everything chloe does becomes about that, which in theory sounds awesome, but is executed much the same way as s1!chlark: by reiterating behaviors that highlight the negative aspects of that loyalty and the negative aspects of their characters.

the single time they do actively examine what this loyalty means and how chloe's hero complex complicates things for chlark is with s8 and davis. she protects davis with the skills of subterfuge and secrecy she developed as clark's friend. and it costs her jimmy and a lot of her personal integrity as a character. tho ironically it makes chloe the strongest she's been as a character. this is the first time clark is forced to view chloe as an enemy and he never quite recovers from discovering the dark depths she’s willing to go to. 

it's an arc dealing with the established beats: how far chloe is willing to go for a kryptonian (very far), how much she's willing to do for him (A LOT and all of it illegal), and what it costs her (jimmy). it deals with her jealousy (always second choice) and her motivations (uncovering the truth). this great want that she struggled with for years is turned on its head and examined, revealing just how weird and dark her hero complex is because obviously davis is not clark. davis/chloe served to highlight more than any other arc how it's really too bad that clark never saw her that way, because she has so much love to give and when channeled, it's a great force. only it's a great force for evil. clark has to confront that it’s not just lex but his other closest friend who is willing to go so far. they backtrack hard in s9 and s10 but they keep this underlying wariness in clark towards Chloe throughout. it’s not anything new, but it’s no longer subtext that clark doesn’t fully trust chloe.

7. And that's the rub

in the end. chloe and clark have many storylines they're in together and chloe's important.... to develop clark and as a counter to clark. clark never instigates anything, not once, for 9 years! when the show did give us Moments TM, clark is reacting, not actively making choices to connect to her. if anything, clark is incredibly awkward about chloe when they become intimate. he doesn't seem to know what to do with her crushing on him (the elevator scene is a great one to show just how awkward chloe makes him feel). more than that. clark never tells her his secret. and later on, chloe doesn't tell him half the crazy wild shit she does to protect him bc she knows he would disapprove. I still hold that the only reason they work is bc clark is a forgiving character and would give her chance after chance after chance. that's the watsonian explanation, but the doylist explanation is that the writers just never cared to explore them beyond this point.

8. and what was beyond that point?

they would've been a great counter to lexana in S6 and early clana (clark finally having a gf who knows). it’s playing the clark/Chloe as a straight lois/clark proxy before actually pursuing lois and clark. it could’ve been the precursor to davis and caused an even more personal conflict! the kiss at the end of s5 was their chance. they could've written chlark devolving much the same way lexana did in s6 (or not). but again. the writers never went that far and clearly never wanted to. it kept chlark forever in this stage of childhood friendship always on the brink of collapsing, tittering either way. it's also tough to speculate bc clark's just not into her. in fact he becomes more and more wary of her, to the point where he believes she can do horrible things, and he's right. the stories continually make their methods complete opposite.

they go out of their way to show chloe realizing how happy clark is with lois. and even play a joke on the fandom by literally turning her into lois and seeing the sparks between her friends. it's almost... cruel but it does serve to show how clark is when he's smitten and he's never looked at chloe that way except during the dance when they were kids. other unrequited dynamics have at least some spark from the desired, but nil from clark. clark is into chloe in late s1, but she shuts him down, and when he seems to be into her again (damn that s5 kiss was a good one lol), she shuts him down again. it's just a weird writing choice all around, and that they kept nuggets of it throughout the show is the thing I cringe at most whenever I rewatch.

9. bait and switch 2

with hindsight it is definitely ship baiting and that sucks for that dynamic bc without it their friendship would’ve been the stronger, or at least not full of so much negativity. all it did was remind everyone that chloe’s been duped since she was a kid and that clark is both stupid and strange for never noticing and letting her get away with shit just bc she’s the most loyal. I don’t ship them and even I get frustrated lol

[ganondoodle]

I saw your worldbuilding diagram with the sword spirits; I recognize Emi, I think; the Lokomo sword? If the other spirits we don't see in Skyward Sword are meant to be recognizable, what is Rei in today's time? My first thoughts, color wise, are either Death Sword or the Scimitar of Twilight, both from Twilight princess. Also, is Demise's former world meant to be Lorule? Love the lore, and I'd love to see more of it! Your art style is incredible.

Ah, im glad you like it ! 

i have been getting quite alot of questions about things people think they recognize, but i must admit, most are either just neat lil refs towards some canon lore things, or accidental-

-Emi is not supposed to be any particular sword, their design is a little ref towards the first two evolutions of the goddess sword before it is made into the master sword, but it is NOT the same, Emi was utterly shattered, both blade and spirit so they are gone

-Rei i included bc i heard from someone that (apparently) there was a theory about Demise having been trained to wield two swords based on his moveset in skyward sword; whether or not that is a real theory i dont know, but i liked the idea. Rei’s blade was shattered when Demise was fighting the fragmented imprisoned of Courage (what happened to Demise in ss basically happend to Courage first, although Demise killed Courages imprisoned form after Rei’s blade was shattered by it) their gem, which houses the spirit, was cracked but not shattered, thus they are not dead but comatose still within the gem; Demise embedded it into his right earring, so he always has them with him if he happend to find a way to reforge them (i might make more lore posts explaining some details)

-I am no gonna confirm that Demises home was Lorule, from what i know about a Link between worlds tho it doesnt line up with my lore here so im leaning towards a no its not. i rotated the Triforces each a little to differentiate them from each other, so just bc Demises is flipped that doesnt mean its from Lorule

-(i know you didnt ask, but other things that were asked in replies/twitter) 

-Courages home was indeed first destroyed by a flood, before the planet broke as well, this is just a ref towards windwaker in the sense of it shows in what the gods will do without batting an eye ( i mean they’re gods, what do they care about some mortals life) 

-why Hylia hesitates to seal Demise will be explained in full detail in the comic but in short; she hesitates bc Demise is nothing like she was told he would be like   

-hes not a purely evil entity, but someone with thoughts and feelings

-he doesnt have an army of monsters under his command, hes all alone (aside from ghirahim)

-hes not overwhelmingly powerful but rather weak compared to her

it doesnt line up with anything, and she starts to doubt her orders, should she just follow them blindly without questioning anything ? or is there another way to protect her home from Demise while also not having to seal him ? 

aaaaaaaaand much more, i have also lore about how the blade spirits are forged, and what makes them so unique, about the dragons and their evolutions plus the whole story of “Destiny” which also includes an epilog taking place i botw (plus i have those game ideas that tie into everything as well .. tho that is a bit more on the side of wishful thinking and still pretty losely connected ... and i cant make everything line up perfectly at the same time after all xD i only have one brain to work with here nmdjkfvndjklnvfdjkl)

[nolongerwrites]

I feel really sick right now y’all I’ve had this in my drafts for a hot minute and I finally got around to finishing it bc I love him so much

Please please please listen to the song (translations in english) it’s so perfect and beautiful and I just-

Fukuzawa deserves more love in my opinion 😔🤘

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆

“𝐵𝑒𝑔𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓈𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔”

“𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝒹𝑜𝑔'𝓈 𝒽𝑜𝓌𝓁𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝑜𝓉𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓅𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒢𝑒𝓉𝒶 𝓅𝒾𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝒾𝓇”

“𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑀𝒾𝓁𝓀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈”

“𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓃 𝓊𝓂𝒷𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒹𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈”

Some people say heartbreak truly is real. Pain will accumulate inside your chest and it’ll feel like your having a heart attack. They say pain is only something temporary. But is true pain only temporary? Can one really die of a broken heart? How much pain can a person take before it all becomes too much? It’s for these questions, you walk the snow filled empty streets of Yokohama in the dead of night. No sound could be heard. The white beneath your feet glows underneath the full moon as she lights up the night. Snow falls from the sky littering the ground around you and White flurries cascaded from the trees which danced with the wind onto your body.

With Your hair let loose, a midnight black kimono covered every inch of your body keeping the cold away. The purple dragon painted beautifully onto the lower end of the haori you wore stared down onto the pale streets ahead with its piercing emerald green eyes. Frosty winds blow past you, making the skin on your cheeks burn and your hair flow gracefully behind you. Your Fingers were tucked away into the sleeves of your kimono in an attempt to keep them warm. The winter winds made your body ache with pain; yet it was nothing compared to the pain inside of your chest that had been building up over many years. What was that saying again?

虎穴に入らずんば虎子を得ず

If you do not enter the tiger's cave, you will not catch its cub. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can't do anything without risking something. But what exactly were you trying to gain? There isn’t anything you hadn’t already risked and there wasn’t anything you weren’t willing to venture out for. Was it closure? Was it for nothing? These questions swam around in your head for years. But here, on this cold and dark winter night, you would wait for him to finally show his face again. His men had been taken down and so had yours. This fight had been going on for far too long. But tonight, you would finally get the answers you were looking for..

Even if it killed you.

“𝐼'𝓂 𝒶 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀𝓈 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓇𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝑜𝒻 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽”

“𝒲𝒽𝑜'𝓈 𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝓉𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝑔𝑜”

———————-

The silver wolf and the flower of carnage.

These were the nicknames they earned themselves many moons ago. The two greatest assassins the government had ever seen. They were praised. They were respected. They were feared. Anyone who dared to cross his or her path ended up dead before they even knew what happened. She was skilled and artful with any sword placed in her hands. He was wise beyond his years and his quick way of thinking is what truly led the duo to victory every chance they got. Their abilities were were unanimously praised by many.

Yukichi had first seen her back in their youthful years. They were both in martial arts training together when he first whitenesed the angelic way her hands would dance with the katana. He even learned a few tips and tricks from her after they introduced themselves. They developed a sort of friendly rivalry after the many spars and training they endured. After they bloomed into their adulthood, yukichi was quick to form an alliance with her. He had never seen a person work as quick and elegant as herself.

The two would go on and develop a partnership together and later on work as assassins for the government. Thus earning the names the silver wolf, and the flower of carnage.

Such as himself, she did have a soft side to her that only revealed itself on occasion. He had seen it many times when they lived together. Even a bitter cold killer had moments of tranquility. He had seen it on her face when their bodies were intertwined with each other. It was little things; her eyes would carry just a little more light when a stray cat happened to make its home in her garden, or when she would give him a small kiss on the cheek after a long passionate night.

They wouldn’t admit that they were lovers. But they did like to release pent up stress after a while in a way some would consider lovers. Every once in a while it felt nice to be held in someone else’s arms as their true emotions came to light. He had seen the scars and imperfections on her body many times. Markings of a dark past she wished to forget painted itself on the delicate skin of her limbs and back. He never asked in fear of her reliving it. He wondered countless times what could be going through her head as she stared off into nothing. Eventually as time passed, he would feel something a little more for her.

“𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈”

“𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓃𝑜𝓌𝓎 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝑜𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝓃𝑜 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔”

“𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓋𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑒𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒”

“𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓂𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒽𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝑔𝑜”

One day out of the blue, as they both laid on the grass in her garden watching the first blossoms fall from the Sakura trees around them, she decided to ask a question that had been on her mind for a while. “Yukichi, What’s your opinion on pain?” She said as she turned to look at him.

“Depends on what kind of pain.” He would reply without moving an inch from where he was laying. “pain in here” she put her hand over her heart before pointing to her head “and here..” he turned watched as she waited for a response. He thought long and hard about her question. He couldn’t say he had the answer because he didn’t really know what heartbreak felt like. There’s only one thing he knew for sure..

“Pain is only temporary.”

Slowly, day by day, they both started to change. You could see in his face and actions that the weight of having killed so many people was starting to catch up. She on the other hand, showed less and less remorse and emotion towards everything. She had became colder and colder by the day and He blamed himself for it. If he wouldn’t have decided to partner with her many years ago maybe she would have been a different person instead of the murderer she was now. For this, he decided to break it off between the two of them.

She didn’t argue, she wasn’t upset, but she did tell him that if he ever showed his face in front of her again it would be be either his or her last fight. And he accepted that. He left without ever telling her how he felt. He would go on trying to do good for the world rather than continue his work as an killer. As for her, she continued her work and eventually became the leader of a organization of elite assassins.

Her group would stand a huge problem for the city. Many of her men were corrupted and would do their own thing without her knowledge, Unknowingly causing chaos within other organizations. This would eventually lead to an all out war between all sides. But no matter who dared to challenge her, not one person could ever stand a chance at defeating her. There was only one person who could ever have a chance at stopping her reign, And he knew exactly what he had to do. After all, they were long time partners.

“𝒪𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒽𝒶𝓁𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝑜𝓁𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓇𝓈, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓎𝒶𝓁, 𝒾𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓃𝒸𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓋𝑒”

“𝒩𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝓇𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇”

“𝒫𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓈 𝒷𝓊𝑜𝓎𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒶𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓋𝑜𝒾𝒸𝑒𝓈”

“𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓁𝑒𝓂𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑜𝓁𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓊𝓇𝓃 𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒, 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓋𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎”

———————-

“It’s been a long time. I see you still haven’t really changed have you?”

Ah. So he was finally here. Your back faced him as he stood a good couple of feet away from you. You said nothing as you continued to stare up at the full moon in the sky and smile. The snow had stopped and the wind had ceased to roar. Your smile stayed as you finally turned to look at your opponent and long time friend. “I could say the same about you silver wolf.”

She was still as beautiful as ever. Even now as dark bags painted the underside of her eyes and small wrinkles were visible on parts of her face. He couldn’t help but think back to the many times you smiled at him and he thought you were the most gorgeous woman on the planet. “How’s that boy of yours? What was his name again?” You said as you untucked your hands from your sleeves. “I’ve heard about his ability from one of my associates.”

“Ranpo, and He’s not my son.” He replied as he chuckled darkly. “Unfortunately he has no ability. It’s all in his head”. There was a long pause before you turned back to the sky. “I see..” you whispered to yourself.

“Was that why you chose to quit the life you had?” You said as you turned back and took a step towards him. “Is he the reason you decided to abandon me as if we never knew each other? Like we hadn’t slain so many people in our years?” Your voice was laced with darkness as it echoed into the night.

His eyes widened slightly as he once again thought about what you said. “I had a change of heart you could say” he replied as he also took a step forward. The scilence returned after that. You both stared each other down like wild animals fighting for territory before you drew your katana slowly from your side. The eery sound of silver against wood rang out. The silver shone and reflected under the moonlight. You stared down at the blade, admiring the beauty behind it before closing your eyes and placing a small kiss on the hilt. You did this every time you held it unsheathed. He could recall the countless times you had kissed your blade before you started your routine.

He in return drew his out too. There was no room for a reunion right now. He reluctantly held it in your direction before taking a stance. It brought him back to the days you spent training, when you two would spar together. You opened your eyes and stared him down; your eyes clouded with a murderous gaze. “Are you ready yukichi?”. He took a breath and waited for the freezing vapor to disappear into the night before giving you the slightest of nods.

And once again, you started your winter dance. Swords clashed in a matter of seconds. You were swift on your feet as they danced around him. Hair and cloth flowing wildly as each swing you took collided with his blade. He knew your way of style, He was easily able to deflect almost every slash you threw at him. He pushed you back with his blade, making you jump a good foot away from him. You stared at him with the same murderous expression as a small cut appeared apon your cheek. The blood dripped slightly down your face and you rubbed it away with your sleeve.

“You surely have improved yukichi, I can say that much” you smirked as you straightened your katana. “I can’t remember the last time you actually laid a hit on me”. He clicked his tongue and swung his sword in your direction once again. You dodged and swerved as his blade came inches away from slashing your skin. On his last swing though, you had jumped up in the air before landing a kick into his side, making him fly into the building next to you in a cloud of rubble and dust.

“I can’t have you knowing all my secrets yukichi” she smiled as the bokken left bruises on his upper arms. She smirked at him as she held it over her shoulder with a hand on her hip. “Ready for another round? You still have a lot to learn from me” she said as she held her hand out for him. He returned the smile before grasping her hand...

He coughed and spit up blood as his body ached with pain. He had to think of something quick before you made your next move. You stood and watched from a distance as the dust started to clear up only for you to realize his body wasn’t even their anymore. Your eyes widened with realization before you turned around swiftly to block his blade as it came down from above. Your faces were inches apart as you both struggled for the upper hand. He stared at your face, which was illuminated by the moon in the sky, and he remembered back to all the times he would admire your beauty when you didn’t notice. Or maybe you did, he never really knew. Even now as you were dirtied and bloody, a small part of him still admired you.

He had a little bit of blood dripping from his mouth as he clenched his teeth, trying to pry his mind away from lingering thoughts. You continued to smirk at him even as you were desperately failing to fight back against his strength. He was a lot taller than you after all. “This bring back memories, doesn’t it? Remember all the times you tried to get me down and you couldn’t?” You said through your struggle.

Finally, his knee collided with your stomach before kicking you away from him. He used that time to slash your shoulder, cutting the sleeve of your kimono as crimson sprayed out. You let out a series of coughs before kneeling and holding the wound in pain. The freezing winds made it burn and hurt like hell. Yet not once did you take your gaze off of him.

“Never take your eyes off your opponent yukichi” she said as he wiped away blood from his mouth where she had managed to hit him. He glared at her from a distance as he straightened himself up. “Again”...

“I’m tired of playing games like little school children. It’s about time we ended this” he yelled at you from where he stood before he flung away the blood on his sword. He could see your breath in short puffs of vapor as you took your stance once again. You breathed out slowly before You twirled and graceful started making your way towards him like a leopard running to catch its prey. Each step you took was delicate enough to almost not leave footprint in the soft white underneath you.

Grunts and metal against metal echoed through the wind as it picked up again. You and him locked eyes for a split second, and for a moment, he could see the agony and despair behind them that he had seen so many moons ago. The pain of having to fight someone who meant so much to you had continued to weigh you down with time. It made his chest hurt. Everything felt like slow motion as you both raised your katanas one last time..

“𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓏𝑒𝓃𝓈 𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊.”

“𝐼𝓃 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝒾𝑔𝓃 𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝑜𝓅𝓈”

“𝐼𝓃𝓈𝓉𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒”

“𝐼 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉”

It hurt. Everything hurt. You swore you landed a hit on him as he swung his blade from above. Only he didn’t. He instead chose to bring it down right before you stepped in front of him causing the blade to pierce straight through your chest. He knew you probably had the same idea as him as your blade went straight through his shoulder instead. Maybe you meant to miss on purpose. He would never know.

“Say yukichi..” you whispered into his shoulder as you laid your head against his chest “do you still truly think pain is only temporary..?”. His eyes widened for a moment. He could care less about the pain his body was experiencing. Your voice was quiet and laced with a sense of tranquility once again. With a grunt, he pulled his blade from your chest in a swift motion. You did they same as the silver fell to the ground with a clank. He threw his katana to the side before catching your body right before it hit the ground. He cradled your head in his hand as he held your body close to his chest.

You looked up into his eyes before you placed a bloody hand to his cheek, staining the pale skin below your fingers in crimson. A cough rose from your chest, a dark sound following after as you gurgled one your own blood. “I’ve known pain all my life.. you knew that, more than anyone...” You wiped a tear from his eye that he didn’t even know they had accumulated. A weak smile plastered itself apon your freezing lips. “I think.. for once in my life.. I’m not in pain anymore... the pain in here... is no more. ” you whispered as you placed your hand to his heart. He held you tighter in his embrace as more and more tears fell from his face. He could care less about the blood pouring into his cloths and the wound in his shoulder. He wanted to so desperately tell you that he loved you. He should have done it so many years ago when he had the chance. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

You turned your head to look at the moon in the sky one last time. She watched you grow for many years. From the moment you were born into this world, to the very last moments you spent breathing. She watched you cry, smile, and kill. She took care of you and showed you light in the darkest of times. You silently thanked her before closing your eyes and letting out a shallow breath. And in your last moments, you also thanked yukichi fukuzawa for truly giving you something to believe in all these years. Giving you something to venture for. Giving you something to love. As the life drained from your body you couldn’t help but feel you were at true peace.

You finally got the answers you were searching for...

“𝐼 𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻𝒾𝓈𝒽𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹.”

“𝒪𝒽, 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹 𝒶 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂 𝑜𝓇 𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓊𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃?”

“𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝒿𝒶���𝓁.”

[yessoupy]

the @imetyouonljpodcast episode this week gave me lots of thoughts and feelings about star wars. more like, reminded me of all my thoughts and feelings around my first fandom. thus, I decided to write my own journey into and throughout star wars fandom, and what it means to me. buckle up, this story spans decades.

my very first memory of anything star wars-related is a yoda puppet that my grandmother had. it had to be from the original run of the movies, because I was maybe 4 in my first memory of it, and i was born in '86. my sisters and I loved it, and one of our cousins was deathly scared of it so we'd chase him around the house with it.

my second memory of star wars was going to the movie store with my dad and sisters and seeing our favorite yoda on the cover of a VHS. "yoda yoda yoda! daddy, it's yoda!!! can we get it?" we were holding up the display cover for return of the jedi. dad said no, we couldn't get that one yet because we had to watch them in order. so we rented a new hope and all I remember was falling asleep while artoo and threepio were trundling across the tatooine desert sands. at five I guess I was too young.

in early 1997 the special editions of the original trilogy were aired in theaters and I was in 4th grade. dad took us to see one of them (I think empire, at some point we'd finally finished a new hope). at school that grading period I sat next to a boy named mark and he noticed I was drawing little x-wing silhouettes on my paper. "you like star wars too?" he asked. when I said yes, he declared that because of my name, he was going to call me skywalker. that's the name on the back of my high school letter jacket.

in fall of 1998 I started the 6th grade and I came home from school one day to a hardbound book my mom had checked out for me from the library. heir to the empire by timothy zahn. mom pointed out where it said on the cover it was a trilogy, and I could get the other books when I finished this one. she hadn't found the young jedi knights series for me. she'd checked out a GROWN-UP star wars book.

in spring of 1999 the phantom menace came out and my parents' friend took me to see it on opening day because neither of them were free and I HAD to go that day. later on that year she took me to a star wars exhibit at the museum of fine arts. that was also the first time I saw a monet and a renoir. the exhibit had costumes (real costumes!!!) from the original trilogy and the newest prequel. I bought a book about the myth of star wars in the museum gift shop.

I read every expanded universe book our local library had, which was a lot. I had a lot to catch up on, too, since heir to the empire had been published in 1992. you never saw me at school without a star wars book. I read while walking in the hallways, even. in 6th grade I read during lunch, since I was in varsity orchestra with 7th and 8th graders and was terribly shy. they'd tell me I should socialize at lunch, not read my books, but... I wanted to read. I had a lot to learn. I have a lot to know.

I was in 7th grade when I read vector prime, the first in the new series. my first class of the day was science, and the boy I had a crush on was in that class. we had DEAR time at the beginning of that class - drop everything and read. not a hardship for me. that day, I read the part of the book where chewbacca was killed. I looked up, astonished. heartbroken. I locked eyes with the boy I liked. he nodded at the book and I showed him the cover. he nodded sympathetically. "they killed chewie," I whispered. he said "I know."

I wrote original characters in star wars fan fiction when I was about 13. I had an internet friend named rachel who lived in brisbane. then there was dave and 'roswell' who gave me ideas for my story. I loved being able to talk about the wide world of star wars with other people. we used aol instant messenger and email. my username in those days had 'skywalker' in it. I am pretty sure we met in an aol chatroom. I didn't find much of use on the official star wars site and I have probably visited it fewer than 10 times since 1999.

I read those books all through middle and high school. they were my christmas presents and my birthday presents. I moved into our family beach house after college. it sounds really nice but I didn't have running water because it was the summer after Ike hit. I would go to the used book store on 23rd street and buy a stack of star wars books and read them while I waiting for calls to interview for a teaching position. weekends I'd go into town to stay at a friend's house and help her with wedding stuff. I'd shower there, too. that's where my new stash of star wars books started, with me catching up on the legacy of the force series I hadn't read in college and then finishing up through the fate of the jedi as those came out. I felt that I had grown up with these characters. I remembered when kyp was just an orphan han rescued, when jacen and jaina were five years old, when corran horn had no wife, no kids, and was just finding out who his family was. I had capital o opinions about what color lightsaber i would have and why (silver; bc corran), I knew the geography of the galaxy and where everyone was from and my favorite planet was dathomir because women ruled it. I knew all of these characters' histories and motivations and the difficult decisions they'd made and had to live with. I loved them.

i never ventured into the online fandom space for star wars, even after I'd found other online fandom spaces, because I didn't feel like there was anything anyone could add to it for me. I was satisfied with all I'd gotten. sure, favorite characters had been killed (after chewie, the one who stung most was Mara, luke's wife), but people die. and in such a long-running series spanning so many years and trillions of miles of space... you come to expect it.

people would ask me ALL THE TIME when the sequels were coming out and I said never. then, disney bought star wars. initially I was excited (tears of joy happy) to have sequels confirmed. my mind raced, imagining a trilogy centered on the events surrounding jacen's descent to the dark side. the original actors would be the right age for that. who could play jacen?

then, the announcement came that the canon was now 'legends' and they wouldn't be taking any of it into account when writing the sequels BUT that didn't mean we wouldn't see old canon favorites. they announced adam driver as the villain and I thought "jacen." I held onto the idea that this knowledge I had, these years of knowing these stories, would still be worth something. that I'd be able to add new information to my mental bookshelves and maps. that my universe would expand further.

the force awakens was a bitter disappointment. I was upset from the crawl, leia's title making it clear to me that she wasn't chief of state, she wasn't the mother to three children, han wasn't her husband, and all of her history I'd grown to love really was gone. what I saw was the older version of a woman I'd met when she was 18 and hadn't seen her since her early twenties. I didn't know her.

I didn't know the galaxy, either. starting with the new jedi order series, a map of the galaxy was included in the front of each book with the planets named so you knew where everything was happening. the new galaxy was bare. it was small and knowable. while the hosnian prime system was destroyed in the movie, I'd never known it, and all the planets I DID know were similarly blasted out of memory. where was dathomir and its fierce warrior witches? if their planets were gone so were their people.

as the movie trudged on, a retelling of a new hope, I kept thinking, "at least let his name be jacen." I hung my hopes on this sith character being han and leia's son and sharing that name of the boy I'd known and the man who'd grown up to turn to the dark side. at that first shout of 'BEN!' I was angry. Ben?? that was the name of LUKE'S son! that was MARA'S child! Ben??? with three letters jacen solo and ben skywalker were also dead to the galaxy.

I know, I know. I should get over it. I AM thankful for poe dameron. the x-wing books were always my favorite. poe was familiar to me the way other new characters weren't. he was part of the new republic navy. I knew what that was. he flew an x-wing. I knew what that was.l and what company manufactured them. he was from yavin IV, I knew where that was and what it looked like. finn was a stormtrooper, yes, but the empire had not stolen children to be raised as stormtroopers. they were recruited like any other position. his story wasn't real to me, it wasn't something I could easily accept. and the idea that the new republic just LET the first order rise? leia's new republic would NEVER. but leia wasn't chief of state in this universe. leia hadn't had that power.

I read a lot of articles about the force awakens and the reactions to it, and never saw myself in any of them. the star wars fanboys whom I'd never known were painted as being angry because their fan knowledge was useless and "boo-hoo poor widdle fanboys" they would be mocked, rightfully. but that's why I was angry, ultimately. everyone I knew and loved was dead. worse, they'd never existed. "what do you think will happen?" some unsuspecting coworker would ask. I'd shrug, but inside I was yelling "who the fuck knows! my favorite characters don't exist anymore. nothing I know as this person you know as SKYWALKER means anything anymore."

it only got worse from there. One day I spent four hours figuring out how far the casino planet was from the drifting ships in the last jedi and doing math to figure out how long it would REALLY take to get there, using old canon star wars physics. I couldn't suspend my disbelief during that movie. everything was wrong. (the other space physics quibble I had was from TFA when poe is using comms while in hyperspace, and dropping out on a command and not... when nav told him to?? you'd fly right through a star!! were they HOVERING in hyperspace? none of it made sense.) I knew too much and too little to enjoy it.

TROS was a narrative mess already retconning new canon and I decided that I would only keep what I liked about the new canon (poe and his family) and pretend the old canon is all there is. one day I'll write the story of poe being part of the storied rogue squadron being sent by leia's new republic to put down the fascist upstarts at the edge of the unknown regions. one day.

one more quick story -- i met my college friend’s three kids for the first time when the oldest was 6. i’d sent a toy lightsaber as a gift when he was born, because i believe every child should get their first lightsaber from a skywalker, and his father had shown him the movies when he turned 4. when i walked into the house i said hello and he said, “i have some questions about star wars.”

we sat on the couch with the tfa visual dictionary, a book he’d gotten out of the library. every question he had was an excellent question, and i couldn’t answer any of them. “why does his lightsaber look like that? and why does he have the extra blades?” 

“well, kiddo, let’s see what it says here about how lightsabers are made. i used to know all about it, but they changed everything on me.”

---

what i love about star wars since disney bought it:

poe dameron, cassian andor (and all of rogue one, i got over the fact that the movie wouldn’t be about rogue squadron it was PERFECT), solo (a fucking DELIGHT), the mandalorian, and i’m sure the cassian andor live action will be amazing and i’ll love it. 

[artofkace]

here’s a huge comic/doodle dump for my She Ra/Steven Universe crossover AU!!! I might not draw anymore for this but here’s what i have cause why not :’)

PLEASE look under the readmore for a whole bunch more info and explanations for what it’s all about if u wanna know more!

She Ra Gem!AU overview

Rebellion on Earth was started by King Micah (Glimmer’s dad) in order to save it as a haven for gems who did not want to be under homeworld (The Horde’s) rule. Glimmer is half human - her dad having given up his gem form (in some way) to become half of her.

Angella is either a gem who loved her dad (a la Pearl) and learned everything about human culture, giving up her gem name and taking a human one even, to raise Glimmer as a real ‘mom’ or she’s human (a la Greg). Leaning toward the first one. She has a forehead gem.

Glimmer feels heavily the burden of being the Rebellion’s heir. She hates homeworld and everything having to do with them. She wants to step up and be a leader and tries to run missions on her own with Bow a lot (with little success.) She 100% loves Angella as her mom but is tired of being treated like a baby. She’s 19.

Her dream is to reunite all of Earth’s most powerful gems and strike Homeworld hard to hopefully drive them off of Earth once and for all, but nobody else believes in this plan much.

Bow is an earth gem who emerged 6-7 years before story starts. He’s enamored with Earth culture and is super friendly! He and Glimmer have been best friends from day one and both have chest gems (which they love, twins!!!). He designs weapons even though his gem type isn’t specifically made for that.

Adora and Catra are both Earth gems who emerged at the same time and stayed with eachother alone for a bit at their kindergarten until they were ‘saved’ and taken to homeworld by Shadow Weaver. They don’t know that they came from Earth and were taught to hate it and the rebellion. They have their gems the backs of their hands opposite each other (Adora right, Catra left).

Catra emerged a little misshapen and fuzzy (Literally fuzzy? And she has the cat ears and tail bc i say so) because the materials to make her gem type technically weren’t supposed to be in that kindergarten and she would have been shattered as defective if Adora hadn’t vehemently defended her. Shadow Weaver relented bc of her soft spot for Adora, (which she has bc she personally cultivated Adora’s gem type??) but Catra lives in shame of that day bc of how she froze and couldn’t do anything to defend herself.

Pilot Episode Basically

Adora is a gem created for strategy and fighting and she excels at being a leader. She was being groomed to take over as general to defeat the rebellion once in for all when story events happen.

Adora first comes to earth again when she and Catra stole a ship to go on a joyride and nearly crash landed. They didn’t know what the planet was, but found a warp pad there and were shocked it worked. They eventually go back to homeworld, but something there was calling to Adora so the next day she sneaks back (asking Catra to cover for her).

She uses the warp pad, then eventually finds the Sword in the forest half-buried, covered in vines. She thinks it must be gemtech, but it's nothing like anything she’s seen before. While she’s contemplating it, Glimmer and Bow stumble upon her (on one of their ‘missions’) and they tussle and eventually take her captive, grabbing the sword too for good measure.

Adora has no idea they’re part of the rebellion at first, but when she finds out she makes a break for it, grabbing her sword as she goes, Glimmer and Bow in pursuit. Eventually they all run headfirst into a giant gem monster and Adora gets pinned down alone. She’s never fought anything this big and freezes up, yelling for help.

In her mind a voice answers calmly, telling her that it can help, but she’ll have to have faith. The voice calls her Adora instead of her gem name (Adora being a nickname Catra gave her? I want Adora and Catra to have already had their ‘real names’ before Adora defects).

Adora looks on in wonder as the sword she’s holding starts to glow. Glimmer and Bow, running to help from the side, stop and watch in shock as Adora fuses with the sword, turning into She-Ra, who is huge but otherwise not different from canon.

After that then events, events, events. Catra is given a position of leadership and comes down to get Adora with a fleet of ships. She attacks a nearby human village and Adora, who has begun already to admire and like the life on Earth, tries to talk her down (events like canon). Eventually she fuses again into She-Ra and drives the fleet off, Catra, betrayed and angry, going with them.

And then Adora is officially part of the rebellion! She is brought before Angella (the sole ‘leader’ still technically fighting) and takes her nickname as her permanent name (its customary in this rebellion to, since they have so many more gems and there are repeats, and most everyone like having a name!) and she joins the trio to make the Best Friends Squad.

Other Things

All the Princesses are gems of different types and abilities. They were all put in charge of different parts of Earth because they’re extremely powerful (Though most of them nowadays only defend instead of actually fighting against homeworld). Each of their ‘kingdoms’ is made up of mostly humans and some gems. You can travel from warp pad to each kingdom, but it’s sometimes a hike to get to where the princesses actually live.

Despite her being otherwise ‘perfect’, Adora had never been able to summon a weapon from her gem before she found the sword and it had really bothered her.

Glimmer and Bow theorize that the gem placed in the sword is Actually A Gem, which is why Adora can fuse with it, but it doesn’t respond to anyone but Adora and refuses all attempts to remove the gem.

Adora’s stints as She Ra are odd for her, she rarely ever hears the voice again and while its very easy to fuse after the first few times, sometimes she doesn’t feel all in control. Like there’s someone else taking the reins from her who’s ancient and powerful. She doesn’t know what to think about that.

‘Diamond Authority’ is basically Just Hordak. He puts other gems up to lead next to him and almost any gem that shows potential can be promoted thus, but he will allow no other diamonds to be made. He is a Red Diamond, so all homeworld gems wear red.

[blackevermore]

x Within the Days The Bombs stood still [Au Lore/Plot]

x Whaaat another god damn au? Yes...Yes....Because my mafia au and historical lady in waiting au isn’t enough for me. I love making aus, it’s my drug honestly

What’s this one about Cev?

x Cold war era, androids, falling in love with the wrong person, trying to stay alive, and a bittersweet ending! Is it all historically accounted for? Nah. But It’s a funny little idea.

Sit back, relax and get ready for this. It’s gonna be good.

x Okay so while watching an ASMR where the listener was a robot and the YT was repairing them I had the idea of what if I/my sona was an android created by the Americans during the end of ww2 but wasn’t activated during the 70s in the middle of the cold war between America and USSR.

x America was working on a a big top secret that only England knew about to basically create the perfect robots to air drop into the USSR in case there was something going on and they needed to basically blow up the nation before the USSR blew them up. Or simply to have them be spies they send over that could automatically report back to them.

x Alfred, one of the lead sophomore scientist of the project R.A.B (Radioed Automatic Bombers) was in charge of programming and designing the human covers for each robot. Against the orders he was given Alfred too the creative freedom of tweaking each bot into having it’s own made up personality and back stories. He believed that if this robots were going to pretend to be human then they needed to fit the bill. He was stumped on what to do for one of the bots so he used inspo of the female black mathematicians he met at NASA that past summer and created M.E.L (Multipurpose Electronic Locator)

x Luckily for Alfred most of the bots were going to stay in the states to catch any Russian spies that happen to slip in. So creating M.E.L wasn’t that big of an issues considering who he based her after. Alfred had the idea of keeping two of the bots to himself for assistance anyway.

x But was put on a halt when a couple of KGB manage to break into Alfred’s unit and destroyed some of the robots and stole most of the documentation. M.E.L wasn’t completely finished like the other bots and she was going to end up like the rest until one of the spies said they should take one and send it back home to be studied so the Russian would have a lead in whatever the American's were doing. And that became the fate of M.E.L

x When M.E.L arrived in Russia (imma flip back and forth between Rus and Ussr bare with me) the scientist try to take her apart for the information but then its noted in a stolen document that Alfred in coded all his secrets into a trust data base. In order for them to get anything they would have to turn her on and "befriend" her. Only then if they ask her something top secret would she automatically give them what they wanted.

x At first they weren't going to put up with it and destroy her but the junior lead scientists Ivan saw it as a challenge and told them he would deal with her.  And in due time Ivan puts M.E.L back together, puts her human covering on and turns her on and M.E.L boots up, what they forgot to look for was to see if she spoke computer or human. So when M.E.L powered on she only responded in English and it seemed that she had a mind of her own instead of being programed to do as she was told. Ivan had more work on his hands than he was expecting. 

x Ivan had to rewire her so that she understood and spoke back in Russian. When he was successful that's when things got tricky. M.E.L didn’t see the world in 1s and 0s she saw the world as if she was a real human who happen to take a nap in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ivan being the blunt person he is constantly reminded her that was false and that just made things harder.

x Ivan wasn't dealing with an robot, he was dealing with an android that thought it was human. M.E.L wanted to go home, she wanted to see her "family" but she was stuck in Russia. So Ivan lied to her and said the American left her there and that he was a simple scientist who wouldn’t mind helping her get back home as long as she followed his rules.

x M.E.L didn't like the sound of this but she had no choice but to give in and work with Ivan to get back home. And thus Ivan's rules were simple: 1) No going outside without him 2) She wasn't allowed to wonder each and anywhere in his house 3) if she didn't mind, having something to eat ready by the time he got home and 4) no asking him questions about what he did at work.

x At first M.E.L hated it, and she broke the second rule very offend when he wasn't around. So much in fact Ivan would turn her off before he left the house and have a timer to turn her back on an hour and a half before he was suppose to be home. M.E.L would ask him questions about the difference in American teach and Russian teach and Ivan had to turn her off and reprogram her to be unable to ask those questions. It was a lot of fucking work but eventually they came to an understanding and found an easy way of life to the point Ivan was happy to come home to company.

x But then Ivan started getting to comfortable and failed to report in sometimes. He started seeing M.E.L less of a robot and more of an actual person. The only thing that made it noticable M.E.L wasn’t human was the barcode on the back of her neck and the few times she would glitch out and fall to the ground. Alfred did an amazing job putting her together and if someday Ivan met the man he would taken him in secret.

x That's when things start to take a turn, Ivan isn't reporting as much information about M.E.L and it's been six months. The government starts to think Ivan is actually an American based spy trying to hide the secrets so they start investigating him and spying on him. Ivan isn't dumb and he knows they are and he is trying to cover his footsteps as best as possible.

x This even happens when Ivan is sent on a month mission to Ukraine to overlook the construction and stability of the new power planet that’s being built. He powers off M.E.L and very carefully dis mantels her to store her somewhere safe while he is away.

x But a few weeks after he returns from Ukraine he slips up one night while drinking and he kisses Mel and confesses he might actually be in love with her. And the spies catches that and the next morning Ivan's house is raided, lucky for Mel, Ivan had a feeling something was going to happen and relocated them to the other side of the house near the back where in case of anything they could escape.

x It's honestly a fight for their lives and Mel gets hurt and so does Ivan but they make it out and have to figure out how to get out of Russia and get into Ukraine then down into Poland and over into Eastern Germany. They can’t take public transport like a plane while still in soviet areas because they would be easily captured. Ivan was now an enemy of his country. It takes a year of having to hide, lie, steal and cheat to get all the way to Eastern Germany. But when they make it Ivan can no longer walk and Mel pushes him around in a wheelchair. They make it to safety and Ivan turns himself in to the Americans and Brits that have control over the Western side of Germany. Mel stays with him the whole time when it’s revealed she's an American product.

x Of course wind word catches wind and the American government is contacted and Ivan and Mel are taken back to the states where Alfred finally gets to meet his creation after two years of thinking only of his bots (Matt) survived. He tells her she’s even more human than he ever imagine her to turn out. That’s when it finally dons on Mel that Ivan wasn’t lying she really wasn’t human.  Alfred reinsures her that as long as she's willing to help her country he can push some documents to have her a real identity made. Mel accepts as long as she can stay with Ivan.

x But even that was tricky bc now the government is holding Ivan under wraps from both the public and the USSR for questioning. Ivan is really good at giving very little and taking a lot. He told them a few hints of information but not enough to truly do any damage. Eventually the Americans allows him to live in the public but he is under watch. Ivan doesn’t care as long as he can live an honest life with Mel. 

x Come to find out Alfred knew all about Ivan since he started his job, Ivan was the one who was always deflecting the American messages in American air space and Alfred had to change the messages to something stupid to throw them off. Alfred offers Ivan a job at the company and they become friends (even with their constant bickering). 

x In the end Ivan and Mel stay in America for the rest of Ivan's life, even getting married (that was a weird one for Al but he keeps his mouth shut)

x Ivan ends up dying of old age and Mel doesn't wish to live on without him so she goes to Alfred who is also a very old man and ask him to finally turn her off for good. He asks her if she sure and she tells him to make sure where Ivan is buried she is buried right next to him. 

[ziracona]

One aspect I find fascinating about your fics is that Meg and a lot of the other characters are pop culture savvy, but also live in a universe where some of the most popular horror characters were real people. So, how do you think they would've reacted to meeting Nancy and Steve, who come from a universe where Michael, Laurie, and Freddy are all horror movie characters?

Ahhh thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked that. Pop culture was a really big element for a lot of the cast, & it is kinda funny I guess that several of them /are/ core horror pop culture.

So, this is kind of a hard one for me to answer, because I didn’t do ILM canon like DbD official canon. I do explicitly reference Stranger Things as fiction in Nearly Departed, but that was because I had not the foggiest clue DbD would /add/ a Stranger Things chapter—both because it’s super new and ongoing unlike their other horror “classic” staples, & because I wouldn’t even really call Stranger Things horror. I had been so damn careful 😂—I think the only horror film I name is Friday the 13th, which felt safe at the time because it’s got its own similar game & thus seemed unlikely to give DbD rights. If I had included Nancy & Steve, I would have gone back and replaced that segment with something similar, and just had ST exist in the same world as Halloween, NOES 2010, and Saw/all of the ILM cast. It’s the best solution, and you really don’t have to change any of the stories to do it. All that would have to change is that in this version of ST, Max wore a different Halloween costume, & three lines of dialogue are different. Fundamentally it’s exactly the same world. I know that’s maybe not the most exciting answer TuT, but it’s what I’d have done for a few reasons. Ima drop the rest under a read more bc I go way into writing & a little w horror meta tho: 💙

For one, it’s just kinda sad. It lowers the storytelling stakes because even a best-case scenario would be kind of a letdown for everyone. Not as much to gain: Not as much to lose. So, sad emotionally & kinda less motivating story-wise. Like, if any version of a happy ending even hypothetically would always mean these people who have bonded through years of self sacrifice and friendship and trauma and growth either /never/ see each other again, or go to one world together where only maybe one person would ever get to see their OG family again, and might also have to suffer with seeing their life as a film on that planet? Joked about, critiques, not taken seriously, no privacy? That’s just. It’s not a happy ending, or a satisfying one, even for the characters to /fight/ for, regardless of if they can win it or not. 

I’m aware that official DbD is multiverse, and there’s no assurance for even say Claudette and Meg being from the same world, let alone the world Halloween happens in, and was when I started writing. I just elected to ignore it. The devs even also explain a lot of the cosmetics as “alternate world versions” of the characters, instead of just fun costumes. I personally think that’s silly? And I’ve really never liked the multiverse decision. I got nothing at all against multiverse stories—they can be amazing—but you’ve got to have a reason if you do, and as far as I can tell, the only reason DbD is multiverse was so the Devs could release a bunch of classic horror characters into their game without worrying about continuity, which is lazy & not a great reason to pick multiverse. It can be great for stories, but in DbD, it would if anything just detract from the reality of the situation & the storytelling? Like, if I showed up in a hell pocket universe, and Michael Myers was there, it would be hard to take that situation entirely seriously, and it would fundamentally change how I interacted with others & they with me. If I knew his history, I’d use that to try to get through to him (what’s the worst that’ll happen? I’ll die like I do every day anyway?), but it would also be just weird & hard for people to relate. Like, if Steve Harrington has had conversations with a buddy about Laurie Strode being careless for not double-tapping her dead assailant & thinks of her as Jamie Lee Curtis & in some ways knows more about her life & family & universe than she does, but knows it all as an element of fiction? And at the same time, Kate’s seen Steve’s actor do interviews & play other roles and caught continuity errors in his /life/ while watching ST??? Hypothetically, someone /could/ unpack all that to tell a story, & maybe a fan has, but the Devs/game really, really haven’t, and in most instances, it’ll just mess up the characters’ abilities to relate to each other as human beings, as well as being miserable for the ones told they’re just characters from horror films in other people’s worlds.

The way DbD is set up really doesn’t lend itself to the kind of meta character vs humanity, role relationships between fiction & life narrative of, say, The Final Girls. Really all it does is make the world less real feeling. Less whole, more artificial. Less to be taken seriously, less belief willing to be suspended. Why are Laurie & Quentin fake in someone’s world? Does Meg not being in a story in Quentin’s universe mean she’s more real? It’s just messy. Multiverse is fine, but if you pick multiverse solely to make your job easier, at the cost of a more coherent, real, and engagable story (@ Devs >.>) that’s lazy/bad writing. I’ve read & enjoyed multiverse stories, but I’d never write DbD that way, bc I’d need a reason to, and I don’t have one. There was really no need for the devs to feel like they had to either, except pure ease w no work at all thinking about how or needing to explain anything, and I wish they hadn’t. : /

Like. Technically, Halloween & Scream shouldn’t be in the same canon—Halloween H20 plays a chunk of Scream 2 on TV, Scream 1 they’re watching Halloween 1978 & Scream 4 Sidney is asked “Who are you? Michael fucking Myers?” When she survives a murder attempt. But that’s not a big deal. It’s not a pivotal piece of world building and canon for either franchise. Scream is not fundamentally different if Randy is watching Friday the 13th or even some made up film, instead of Halloween. On top of that, a lot of horror references each other for fun and as tribute and I’m a huge nerd who adores this tradition. 😂 Scream & Halloween are so tight as franchises by the time Halloween H20 was released, that it actually uses chunks of Scream’s OST. It’s much better narratively for DbD if they’re all from one world, and in a way, it’s just a cool next step to the preexisting horror friendship metas between a lot of films. It’s really fun to figure out how they’d function together in one universe.

Anyway, that was long but I have so many thoughts on DbD & writing thank you for giving me an excuse to gush!! And thank you again for the compliment. I’m really happy you like my writing. It means a lot. 💙

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

im supposed to be working on uh literally anything else but instead i gotta get this outta my brain

tl;dr: slag is causing the Psychos to spread across the galaxy bc the Calypsos are using it to both brainwash their cultists and give them ‘special powers’. i mean, its not just slag, it’s eridian ruins/tech, too, but the Twins are utilizing slag the most. which explains the slagfalls and also the processed eridium everywhere still. im hoping sirens will help us cure this- starting with Krieg because slag/Psychos have some sort of connection to the other dimension, just like Sirens, but more messy. also this insanity from the slag/Psycho-ness is literally Mayhem and us fans are taking part in it- we’re the cult irl. plus, this game is gonna be about love and the relationships we have with the people we care about and that’s all the roses mean because i’m feeling s o f t tonight. tomorning. whatever maaaaan

“… among their fractured ramblings, it is tempting to try and find a deeper meaning…”

“[their madness] defies attempts at explanation or containment. from an isolated region of a single planet, to a nearby moon, to systems throughout every human colony, madness is catching…”

you can’t tell me this isn’t just BEGGING for us to figure it out

so, for my own sake:

i have a theory.

i kinda sorta hinted at this with my destroyer theory but i REALLY wanna go all out in this because i think this is actually something to think about… mostly because ive seen A Scene… and i wants to talk about it, vh. i wants it

now im gonna `lol` ignore everything about my lost legion eternal theory and start entirely from scratch. it’s also 1am here for my apologies if this comes across as incoherent because wow i should be asleep but fuck it i got research to do

so it all starts with psychos. i mean i guess it does. it’s gotta right? i brought in pictures it must

anyway

the guide admits that the first psychos came from Dahl’s prison colonies

the ones abandoned on pandora, now ive kinda talked about this b4 but imma talk about it again bc uhhh fuck it? why not.

so we know a lot of the bandits left on Pandora mutated because of the eridian ruins/the key. this is referenced mostly in sledge’s mine

its like world-wise called headstone mine but i never remember that. SLEDGE’S MINE

notice that line “most went crazy and many were physically mutated as well”

so i think it’s safe to say whatever they found in there started causing psychos to appear on pandora

im saying that i think eridians are the cause of Psychos across the galaxy

i have a lot more proof for this so please sit back and enjoy the ride because i think its really really cool

so lets look at hector’s logs from the newest dlc

“one of my boys found a shiny alien trinket”

“a few boys went rabid already, had to put them down”

now idk if there’s a connection here, but it’s interesting that both times, people who found these eridian artifacts started going crazy soon after

shit i mean even tannis begins to go off the wall after her and her dig team start investigating the eridian sites. although if that is because of the horrific incidents that befell her and her team or the ruins idk for certain. i’d bet its the shitty incidents tho

there’s more to this, hang on…

alright, so, lab rats? they’re pretty cool right?

we all like lab rats! personally, chase is my favorite, but adam is hilarious. that final season, huh? pretty wicked… wasn’t really a fan of the island setting but you know what, to each their own. it’s cool they actually progressed the show instead of staying stagnant. that got my respect even if it moved in a direction that wasn’t my cup of tea.

anyway Q U O T E S:

“Hyperion opened my eyes. i didn’t want it!”

“needles in my eyes!”

“don’t you look at me!”

“i can see! i don’t want to see!”

so there’s obviously something ~fucky~ going on with the lab rats and whatever it is they can see from the hyperion experimentation. we know hyperion had a hard-on for slag experimentation and you know i wouldn’t even be shocked if they were injecting these rats’ eyes with slag.

the best part is their reactions when they’re phaselocked. Unlike most enemies, the lab rats will only react to maya’s action skill, and none of the other VHs.

vs something like a marauder:

who has all these voice lines for Zer0, Axton, Sal (merc), AND Maya

the lab rats will only ever respond to being phaselocked.

and what do they say?

“i see the universe!”

“i see infinity!”

“it’s beautiful!”

 (now weirdly enough i was told on the tv tropes for bl2 that the lab rats will say “I see it more!” when phaselocked by maya, but i couldn’t find a source for that. couldn’t even find it in the files i extracted from the game. i checked an online video just to double check because you know, my extraction could’ve been off, but it wasn’t there, either. even phaselocked one a bunch as maya and i couldn’t get it to proc. so, idk where that info came from, if someone could give a source/proof that would be awesomesauce.)

sooo what do other enemies say when phaselocked? usually… they just see blue. so nothing quite as interesting as infinity.

so wtf is up here? 

im thinking the experiments hyperion performed on the lab rats are letting them see the dimension maya locks them in. i mean, tbh, i think they can see into that dimension whenever they open their eyes, but maybe maya’s phaselock makes sense of it for them. because they seem to be in indescribable agony outside of it

but the lab rats aren’t the only enemies that only react to being phaselocked

turns out the psychos only react to phaselocking, too

they also have some fun lines:

“I can see forever!”

“I’m home!”

“I’m inside… I’M INSIDE ME!”

with some other nonsense thrown in for fun

so idk, just taking a look at this, it’s clear the psychos and lab rats are seeing something that the other bandits just aren’t seeing. most reactions are demands to be released or that they’re flying, or just straight up confusion as to what’s happening.

is that the side effect of their exposure to slag/eridian tech? yeah, imma bet on it. their mind machines probably broke because they saw something they weren’t supposed to (possibly into the other dimension. the one maya phaselocks them in) without proper ‘protection’ and thus went batshit. like maybe sirens are protected from the craziness of the other dimension because they’re ‘chosen’ or whatever. iunno.

i do think it’s most interesting that the psychos seem familiar with whatever they’re seeing, calling it ‘home’ and well… themselves. 

so why in the fuck am i talking about all this? because i think it ties straight into bl3.

let’s bring back lab rats and their experiments

you know how hyperion was supposedly injecting their eyes with slag? and it caused them to shoot those weird blue lasers out?

what happens to the destroyer’s eye in tps?

yeah we inject this bad boy with slag

“i only juice the eye with a little bit of slag at a time”

which ends up causing a singularity around the eye the second time you do it

“if this slag stuff is powering the laser, we need to force as much of it as we can back into the eye. the increased power will trip a failsafe and let us shut everything down”

oh, increased power? you mean like how Sirens get increased power from absorbing eridium? that kind of increased power?

we know in bl1 the Destroyer seemed to have something like slag in it- those glowing pockets on the tentacles that explode into purple goo

even its attacks are like purple liquid. which, you know… would be quite similar to slag (tho tbf, these attacks actually hurt instead of applying the debuff)

and boy does the destroyer not like it

“warning. space-time instability detected.” after injecting the eye with too much slag. but… why? it got too powerful? are its powers directly connected to the other dimension and by increasing it’s strength a bunch we created some sorta link between our dimension and the other one? 

i mean given the other dimension allows for teleportation and shit, im not surprised there’s a space-time instability!

i mean we’ve all seen it do the eye laser thing, and the tentacles, and the purple goop. but causing space-time instabilities… that’s new isn’t it? kinda like how Sirens get new powers after they absorb a bunch of eridium???

so i wanna take a guess as to what the destroyer is

we know its ‘immortal in its own realm’ but when it’s taken an actual body that we can kill it, so odds are, it never actually died in bl1 OR tps. i imagine the Destroyer we see in bl1 is just a small fragment of it, and that it’s consciousness can be spread out across hosts. *EDIT: actually the lovely @automata-systemata-hydromata reminded me that you can find the destroyers brain in Helios. The other stuff I left in should be fine tho I thiiiink (thank you!).

and that, y’know, is cool and all, but what IS it??

Jack uses slag to give it a power boost, but it doesn’t seem to be happy about it when it happens. in fact, it even seems scared.

to be honest, all we know is that the eridians locked it away for some reason

idk im just spitballing here, but what if the Eridians were the creators of the destroyer? not intentionally, or maybe it was the result of one hell of a slag experiment/exposure to the other dimension/eridian tech, but we’ve seen what slag/exposure to eridian stuff does to humans… makes them go crazy, makes them start mutating. i mean, look at badass psychos. look at goliaths.

i mean shit even think about bloodwing. she goes wild, attacking the VHs and not listening to mordecai’s instructions despite their bond

she grows to a huge size and gains a whole shitload of new powers she didn’t have before. including fucking fire breath (which we’ve seen in burning psychos)

you know these dudes

i go into all this eridium/slag mutation stuff in SO much more detail in this post here, so if you’re interested in mutations, read this!

so what if the destroyer is just one HELL of a mutated eridian/alien and it plus all the eridium was locked away forever in the other dimension to keep this from ever happening again? because god, i wouldn’t want that to ever happen again, either, and i guess locking away the eridium (you know the stuff used in all these hyperion experiments) would be their best bet at ensuring it. also maybe just… locking away anything with eridium for that long probably isn’t the best idea… maybe that’s why it’s all tentacles and death. maybe they just locked someone away in a Vault as a prison and then leaving them with all that eridium caused them to mutate wildly out of control. kinda like the FEV. 

i mean we know ‘slagged psychos’ look like this 

i wouldn’t be surprised if we gave them enough slag/time they’d end up mutating even worse. and the destroyer was left in the vault for hundreds of years.

so wtf is the connection here with Sirens? there’s gotta be one, right??? is slag experimentation the first rung on the ladder of volatile science to achieving siren-hood? like you’d have slag/eridium experiments/mutations -> the lost legion eternal -> actual Sirens. maybe if sirens take in too much eridium they become something like the destroyer. now that’s fucked up to think about.

maybe it’s better the twins took lilith’s powers away from her…

oh, speaking of mutations and burning psychos and hyperion experiments, you know what we haven’t talked about yet?

Krieg. 

let’s talk a whole lot about Krieg, because he is super important

krieg is important for a lot of reasons.

u know what his teaser trailer was named?

yeah i don’t think that’s coincidence one bit

ahhh Mayhem.

“deep beneath pandora, an experiment has escaped”

we know krieg is a hyperion test subject, dr samuels confirms this (and apparently contracts insanity as well at the end of the Crawmerax DLC)

also we know some other tests going on at the WEP from the quest Doctor’s Orders:

“this vault key didn’t make eridium come outta the ground for nothing, right?”

and there’s this one very very very interesting line by Tannis at the end of the quest:

“the spread of slag poisoning” yeah call it that DUMB name tannis, im gonna call it what all the kool kids are calling it: ~Mayhem~

so… Krieg.

what’s so special about him?

well… he gives us insight into what the hell is actually going on inside the heads of some psychos.

so idk about you guys but i always took this as a poke at Maya and Krieg, but i realize now that this is talking literally just about Krieg. it’s about his body holding both sides of himself.

krieg does appear to be like lucid behind the psycho controlling his body, which, idk about you guys, but for me that plants some pretty horrible mental images of all the psychos in-game who probably have similarly exasperated people behind them who are getting murdered because they can’t control themselves anymore.

and idk i wrote this whole post about how maybe the slag experimentation is turning people into hosts for the destroyer’s consciousness and that could explain all the wacked up psychos and shit. but tbh im not gonna talk about that today

just about slag experimentation/eridium exposure. we know what it ACTUALLY does and that’s mutate the hell out of things and cause insanity.

Krieg is like… the poster child for slag experimentation/eridium exposure

soooo why does slag experimentation make people go insane? could be any number of reasons, but tbh i would bet it has to do with that other dimension somehow. because eridium isn’t a normal ‘our dimension’ element. it came out of a vault. from a different dimension. and who knows the long-term effects of that shit.

i personally had a theory that the 4th dimension had something to do with time and that only Sirens are able to harness this power, but then i have no idea how to explain angel and amara’s powers through that lense, so eh. fuck it. just seeing an upper dimension would make you go crazy anyway, so let’s not bring any time shit into this because that’s just asking for trouble. 

either way

i think that sirens are able to make sense of that other dimension. they have some sort of command of it/some sort of tie to it that allows them to not go crazy the instant they interact with it, unlike psychos. unlike lab rats. unlike Krieg. it’s like… eridium is our window into this other dimension or some shit and Sirens are (literally) able to process it, while it just fucks over anyone else who tries to interact. ~kachow i just introduced parallels~

and tbh i think we’re going to use Sirens to help cure this plague of insanity going around the universe. probably starting with Krieg. i mean, the only time he’s able to get even an iota of control is when he sees Maya. “Turn around pretty lady!!” like… that’s HUGE for him. and Maya’s a Siren. im not saying the power of love isn’t strong… but maybe the power of Sirens is stronger. i’d love if tannis helped us out with that. maya, too, if she really did learn more about sirens on athenas. 

this all ties into borderlands 3 for 2 reasons:

1. Mayhem being both the tagline for this game and Krieg the Psycho’s DLC pack is not a coincidence

2. The calypso twins are going to be using slag to both brainwash people into becoming cultists and give them special powers

`breaks fingers` this is the real meat of this theory, all that other stuff was just getting you READY for this

let’s put the Mayhem stuff off to the side for a second and just focus on the Calypso twins.

We know they’re promising their cultists special powers and free brainwashes (lol)

we’ve seen that one concept art from the museum of mayhem with the giant slag pool

we know enemies are STILL dropping refined Eridium even though it seems like all manufacturers have stopped creating slag weaponry

and we’ve seen the slag falls in a bl3 promo material already

oh yes

okay so i said right at the very beginning of this document that i’ve seen A Scene that i wanna talk about and oh baby this is it

This Scene right here

look in the very back there

look familiar???

~it shooouuuuullld~

yeah this is it!!!

so what i think is going down: anyone who’s not already insane is sorta ‘baptized’ as their entrance into this cult in the big ol slagfall. maybe the twins have a way to induce slagged cultists so they can have elemental affinities. not sure about that.

regardless

the twins are using slag to drive people insane (turning them into psychos) as a form of brainwashing to force people to join their cult.

so that’s the special powers and the free brainwashing and the slagfalls down.

let’s talk about why exactly we’re seeing enemies drop bars of refined eridium even though hyperion stopped making them. because the twins are making it!! it makes sense why there’s no slag guns still, even if it still exists in-universe: of course no manufacturer is going to contact an insane bandit cult just to get their hands on slag for their guns. 

there was a 7 year dry spell of eridium production so there was no slag to go around, so companies started phasing it out of their guns and replacing it with nuclear. 

but the twins have recently started production again. they’re obviously not using it in their guns, or selling it to other manufacturers. so wtf are they using it for? it’s gotta be important, it’s holy holy holy.

special powers and brainwashing!

and the refined eridium is back in circulation, so enemies are still dropping it. see? solution acquired.

as for psycho-ness spreading across the universe? it makes sense. not only are the twins using their slag to brainwash people and turn them into psycho cultists, but people are also being mutated by the eridian ruins/vault keys/vaults on the other planets and being driven insane. This craziness is quite literally Mayhem.

Mayhem is coming, indeed! 

now let us talk about what the fucccck gearbox is doing with all that Mayhem stuff in the trailers and shit.

sooo WE are the cult surrounding this game. as the fan base. 

do u think it was coincidence that they made ‘ECHOnet’ Streamers the leaders of their big bad cult and then also immediately introduced, in real life, the Twitch ECHOcast extension and invited a bunch of streamers to play their demo? they knew exactly what they were doing. Giving away a free cultist psycho mask to everyone who preorders a console copy of the game? that’s intentional. everyone who preorders the game gets a ‘gold weapon skin pack’? yeah! you know what gold weapons represent in-universe? higher standing in the cult!! gearbox is making commentary on how we are all just like the cultists!

AND THEY ARE TOTALLY RIGHT

all the trailers having something to do with Mayhem? ‘Mask of Mayhem’ ‘Mural of Mayhem’ ‘We are Mayhem’ ‘Mayhem is coming’. We’re all insane cultists because we’re all absolutely fucking rabid for this game and they KNOW IT.

…

oh also we’re all in love with each other lmao. 

in all seriousness, i think the game is going to focus a lot on the relationships we have with the people we care about- our found family, our romantic interests, our friendships- and that’s being expressed through the roses. 

i think that’s why all the characters are shown in the roses on the cover art. why the roses are so prominent in the So Happy Together trailer. why Zane is sitting at a bar with a rose between himself and his clone (as a joke, but still, it’s the intent). 

red roses are, like, the most obvious way to show your affection to someone. and we know the bl3 Vault Hunters are going to find family in each other in this game. that we’re going to watch the calypso twins’ relationship become warped as the game goes on. hell, we’re probably even going to have a whole plot about tina and mordy (and talon) and brick being a small family together, and maya and ava being one as well. plus ellie and vaughn have gotten together since commander lilith. shit, guys, even claptrap is building himself a girlfriend.

this game’s about love, guys.

anyway i have been working on this since 1:30am. it’s currently 6:06am. i am very tired and very wired and those never mesh well. im gonna go eat some motherfuckin pizza.

edit: i missed the obvious connection the first time around: of course we’re going to cure Krieg, he loves Maya. and this game is all about love.

that and/or one or both of them die and gearbox hurts us right in the softest parts of our hearts.

edit 2: also yeah at some point in the near future im writing that Hyperion-Twins theory because as much as i love Atlas, i have ~seen some things~

[breeeliss]

If you were put in charge of rebooting vld, what would you change? (Sorry of this is similar to the last ask)

i think if i had to only pick a few things to change, i would start with these six things: 

1) Forgo the lion switch and instead give Allura the Black Lion personally this would’ve made more sense on two fronts. one, it maintains the original integrity of the lion-paladin connection which we were told was dependent on the paladin assuming specific character traits that attracted certain lions. Keith and Lance, arguably, were the perfect Red and Blue paladins based on the attributes we were given and i saw little need to make them switch out. Allura, on the other hand, embodies all of the qualities of the black paladin (and actually wanted it, as opposed to Keith) so it would’ve been a more seamless transition.

second, Allura being placed in the Blue Lion felt very much like a demotion. she suddenly didn’t know how to fly despite coaching the paladins from day one (and being able to fly a battle class altean ship), she became an insecure terrified little girl being hunted by the big bad guy, and she began answering to people she used to command and having her opinions be undercut by people who knew less than she did. placing her in the black lion would’ve solidified her as the definitive leader of Voltron, leader of the coalition, and provided a much more satisfying character arc for her.

2) Not had Keith leave the team in order to completely devote his time to the Blade of MarmoraKeith leaving the team had a lot to do with the fact that he a) was not ready to become the BP/didn’t want to, and b) was being forced to remain the leader of the team and neglect his desire to explore his heritage and culture through the BOM. i feel like keeping Keith in the Red Lion would’ve circumvented a lot of this. he would’ve felt secure as the red paladin and i don’t think he would’ve kept his feelings about his need to explore the BOM a secret from his teammates as a result.

i also think that it would’ve been possible for him to balance both. at the end of the day, Keith was a paladin first and he ultimately returned to being a paladin bc he knew that’s where he was needed. i don’t see why he couldn’t have kept his Marmoran blade and assisted on covert missions while also staying a paladin of Voltron. Keith learning to become a better leader was something he could’ve learned without leaving his friends.

3) Cleaned up Lotor’s characterLotor ended up being more confusing to me than interesting. it seemed like the writers weren’t sure if they wanted to make him a redeemable character or solidify him as a clear cut villain and it shows. i think the fact that he’s a charmer, a manipulator, etc. added a good deal of depth to his character, and made the decision to trust him very confusing. which is good! that’s one of the things i loved the most about Lotor. where he started to lose me was in his backstory where he wanted to spare planets, save lives, and do good things for the universe but needed to…farm and kill Alteans to do it.

it’s not clear how he went from wanting to preserve life to committing genocide. that logic jump was very sudden and never explained. they either should’ve kept his backstory and his desire to preserve life and made him an ally to Voltron, OR they should’ve nixed the abusive backstory and maintained him as an enemy who was set on ousting his parents and ruling the Galra empire the way he wanted. i personally would’ve gone with the latter if i was rewriting, but either works. i think the writers wanted to try and get us to sympathize with a imperialist murderer at the same time they wanted us to demonize a victim of neglect and abuse, and as a result we as the viewers weren’t clear on what we were supposed to think of him.

also, i just personally don’t enjoy the “neglected child becomes a raging homicidal villain” narrative since it’s overdone and isn’t a very uplifting message for victims of abuse and neglect.  

4) Had Allura pilot the Atlas, and given Shiro the Black Lion back the Atlas was built with Altean tech, powered with Altean alchemy, and clearly become a Voltron-esque mech due to a combination of the Altean tech and the Altean magic that Allura used to bring Shiro back. it felt strange to me that Shiro would be the one to pilot this ship when a) Allura has experience piloting battle class ships, b) the ship was built using her culture’s tech, and c) it required Alten magic/alchemy/whatever to reach its potential. it’s more poetic in my opinion for an Altean to captain a human made ship made with Altean technology in a combined effort to oust the Galra.

and, honestly, Shiro’s bond with the black lion was the deepest paladin-lion bond we saw on the show. it’s only fitting that he should get his lion back considering how rewarding he found being a paladin and how much work he put into developing that bond. plus, it would’ve made both Shiro and Allura important leaders in the effort against the Galra which is honestly where the show should’ve stayed. Shiro and Allura co-leading was a really powerful dynamic that i wish the show kept.

5) Did something more interesting with Project KuronProject Kuron was the strangest plot device in the entire show. it was such a mystery when Shiro came back what this project was about, it turns out that this Shiro was a clone, but then the fact that hundreds and hundreds of Shiro clones were created was…..never explained. they were destroyed and that was that.

personally, this goes back to me wanting to elaborate on why Honerva was so drawn to Shiro (both enough to take his arm and use him during a cloning project). i wonder if something about his quintessence fascinated her. i wonder if, without his chronic illness, he would’ve been the embodiment of perfection and an ideal weapon for the empire. i wonder if this is why she outfitted him with Galra technology and planned to clone him to create an army of him for the sake of the war. i wanted a whole arc on just the clones, of Shiro finally grappling with Honerva and the hold she had on him for most of the season, i wanted the team to help in trying to destroy and defeat all of the clones before they were used as weapons against the entire universe, and then i think that would’ve added even more dramatic flair to the infamous black paladins episode (which i wouldn’t even touch, that was perfect).

6) Had Allura sacrifice the Lions in order to save all of the realities (thus keeping her alive)don’t think i have to explain why Allura dying was garbage. found family was one of the biggest themes of the series – was something that Allura herself acknowledged in the very last season – and it’s only fair that she be able to survive, see the fruits of her labor, see the reestablishment of the Altean colonies, be a ruler, be a leader, be alive, have a family, and get to be in love.

i feel like the lions would’ve been a very good alternative as a sacrifice. because it’s clear that after this Voltron isn’t needed anymore. so it would make sense that the lions final use would be to use their combine quintessence (which is likely more powerful than Allura’s) to save all those realities. and it would make sense that Honerva, as a way to atone for the damage she’d done, would be the one to redeem herself through this final sacrifice. it would’ve been a cleaner ending, it would’ve been more satisfying, none of the main characters had to die, and they all would’ve had beautifully happy endings.

[gg-astrology]

I am quite curious about this year 2019 for Seventeen. Recently, someone did the tarot readings for the boys. She said that the boys were exhausted both mentally and physically. I am quite worried indeed, since seventeen has been working really hard but the result was not as expected. Can the seventeen bomb can explode this year? If you have free time, please take a look at this *sob* Thank you so much :333>. Seventeen Debut day is 26 May 2015, at 6PM KST

Hey there!! 💕💕💕 Sorry you had to wait for so long ksdjnn but I hope I can do it for you now!! 💕💕

[Natal and Solar Return for Seventeen (2019/2020)]

Alrighty let’s start with natal:

Okay! Gemini sun babies with Scorpio Ascendant!! 

Driven, hard-working, intense – physicality that’s known in Scorpio is prevalent, but on the DSC (Taurus) also talks about comforting side, homey, reassuring and nurturing that they also balance/align themselves with (planets in 7th). 

The Sun/Mars/Mercury are all in Gemini (7th) all in opposition to Saturn rx in 1st – there’s a balance of maturity, trust/foundation building at the fore-front of the mind. But at the same time they do acknowledge the type of youthful, liveliness and certain restriction/maturity that Gemini brings as well.

This aspect to saturn (representing maturity or maybe even authority figures) can sometimes be a mindset of ‘what? we’re gonna talk about it/discuss it amongst ourselves’ and a kinda ?? hesitance, towards accepting things immediately if they haven’t thought it out/communicate and ‘be on the same page’ as well 

Generally, even as they age (Saturn in 1st) or appear ‘older/mature’ than how they are before– there’s a strong part of them that would oppose and try to retain a youthfulness and that charming nature of Gemini in order to ‘not get jaded’ by things. 

Or rather that’s what the chart would like to suggest, because there’s an energy/strong indications with those Gemini stelliums that certain things that ‘may’ seem good or logical can still be missed out if they were to sacrifice a ‘part’ of them that they may not take back (so to consider the possibilities of that as well) 

Because of it’s mutable energy – they can sometimes ‘appear’ one way but also notice another. Think of it as ratios. ‘This’ much play ‘this’ much subdued. There’s genuine affection and effort in interactions, but also besides that is a vulnerability that needs to be acknowledged for as well (7th house)  

 There’s an association here to having fun, being able to communicate/speak freely within their mind and ‘staying true’ to who they are even if it comes across as a little bit more traditional sometimes (Taurus ruling the DC). 

Besides this– they can also be active engagers in self-reflection and one-on-one evaluation of themselves. In the 7th house (in this context) they may value communication and reflecting/seeing where they can improve on alot. 

Gemini as an air/mutable sign in the 7th house of reflection may often drive their strength and support from the stability of one-on-one interactions with fans (or rather, concerts or direct-communication with people without a third hand involved/barriers in that regard) the Mars (Gemini) Mercury (Gemini) and Sun (Gemini) aims for versatility, engagement and also interests from others that evoke responses from them. 

It’s a playfulness to the nature but also a reliance on trust/foundation because Taurus rules the house these Gemini placements are placed in. So underneath all that teasing/playfulness, is also a deep rooted bond and loyalty that is seen/felt by both sides as well.   

Alright, back to that Saturn in 1st. There’s a seriousness to their image, or what they want to construct/build it with it. The goal/idea is along the line of longevity and transformation. Scorpio rules the 1st house and thus the Saturn that falls into it may be going ‘okay so we don’t want to stay stagnant, we can only do this for so long (this concept/image) what else would we want to progress into in order to transform?’ 

Continuity from building on a foundation– they had a strong start, so the idea is to figure out how to continue the story line and go about it from there. Because Saturn is in retrograde (and Sagittarius) a part of the dilemma has to do with second-guessing choices/themselves but perhaps putting on a brave front in order to not let those vulnerabilities show. Another thing about it is also the idea of internationality, fame, foreign travels and engaging in different demographics (diversity) that can make them nervous. 

The nervousness is amplified by that Gemini opposition– kinda like ‘can we engage with them?? will they like this?? is this too simple/not complex enough?? do we need to do more?’ – because Sagittarius is expanding on that idea of making a bigger vibration to their Gemini, and it’s also squaring their Neptune (Pisces) in 4th which also talks about ‘how will parents percieve us? family oriented? what about our families?’ things like that.

It could– come up, due to having foreign members in the team. Particularly because it may be an experienced the member might’ve shared with them which is why it’s on the mind/awareness of the issue and seeing it reflected as part of the self (they are a gemini group after all, and also placements in 7th – which can sometimes be looking at a problem and seeing if the self goes through the same situation as well/if it comes up what will you do) 

This particular Pisces Neptune in 4th is also squaring the Gemini placements in 7th –  dreams/hopes versus family/rootedness. Certain things have to be decided on– the youthful energy will have to be engaged in a way that talks about maturity/independence (Sagittarius Saturn in 1st) not wanting to grow up but also internal maturity and dreams/collecting goals (Gemini in 7th/Neptune in 4th) hopefully it can become a topic that they can put into their sounds– but for now, Gemini Mercury in 7th does talk about communicating in relationships, experience (finding new experience) and engaging in different interests independently as well (not about the member but about the group’s musical taste). 

Let’s look at Venus– Cancer Venus in 9th opposition to Capricorn Pluto in 2nd. Travelling/going on tour or even vacation to other places can be jarring if not necessarily in order to make coins. There’s a building sense of self and self discovery from Pluto Capricorn in 2nd aspect to Virgo Moon in 10th– helping them edit, refine and work out part of their subconscious/motive/identity. 

As well as it’s aspect to Neptune Pisces in 4th – inspiration, muses, feeling at home but also a tight-knit sense of ‘If I’m not with these people I wouldn’t want to be here at all’ and reclusivity in certain times (staying at the hotel) if the turbulence from Pluto (Capricorn) becomes too much (in order to regain internal balance/work shit out by themselves) 

Whilst travelling definitely inspires their muse (Cancer Venus trine Pisces Neptune) there’s also intense awareness that unexpected things can happen and turbulence and appear at any time (square Capricorn Pluto/authority figures like the embassy and how Jun/Minghao couldn’t come on tour sometimes – also square Aries Uranus in 5th, performance having to adapt/erratic nature due to lack of control/wanting to do something but not being able to)

– there’s imbalance in certain external circumstances that takes ‘control’ out of their hands and can leave impressions on them (Cancer) but at the same time– they ARE a communicative and ‘what can we do about this now that we’re aware of it’ group and talk/communicate alot amongst themselves as well. So it’s kinda like a Crab?? who ducks out of it’s shell to scurry around/have fun and then it sees an incoming human and ducks back in/hides quickly in order to deal with things sometimes as well.

Phew, next is Virgo Moon square to the Sun/Mars/Mercury. Virgo Moon here is in the 10th– people know them for their detail-oriented, humbling, organized and stream-line persona. In a way the Moon here is focused on ‘team’ and ‘teamwork’ – as part of an organized micro-unit that makes up a bigger structure (Virgo – small parts that makes bigger things, focusing on the details, what they can do, what they can put their effort into, taking what is given at a bigger scope when they ‘deserve’ it) 

It’s squared to their Gemini in 7th because the Virgo here may engage with the public a certain way, may be more subdued, a little more ‘see what my efforts are’ whilst Gemini in 7th wants to show itself to others around them as well– there’s a fear of disrupencies, kinda like ‘what if they misunderstood me? I have a this Gemini side to me too and i want to be open about that/be recognized for that but what if they think we’re a little– boring?’ 

Which is– y know, its anxiety/nervousness that comes with mutable signs but it can make things hard for the team themselves bc Virgo Moons ARE pretty hard on their effort/energy and what they’re obsessively doing/showing as well. 

Whilst the hard-working Virgo Moon nature isn’t a bad thing to be seen as with the industry/community theyre in (locals) perhaps the intention isn’t aligned with what they had in mind or they may want to communicate more– communicate openly and on an interpersonal level (thank god they got instagram) 

Their moon being in the 10th house (public/expression) with harsh aspects to the 4th and 7th house can often ‘sacrifice’ things (family/consistency/support, relationships/self) in order to bring this ‘forward’

Minor things to talk about: Aquarius Ceres in 3rd-- loves to communicate, contemplate, think about things. Sibling relationships (3rd house/sibling, neighbourhoods) nurturing comes from this sense of trust, progression, bond and individuality. It’s also where their pars fortunae is-- so what they are noticed for, why they seem ‘close’ and also how ‘boy next door’ (get it? cause its close to the 4th house) they seem to be

If I have to summarize this really quickly: things to look at are Gemini placements opposing that Saturn in 1st and a lot of a ‘;) we’re gonna do it anyways!’ attitude sometimes towards listening to people (in a good way, not in a bad way)

Now with the SR

Alrighty, now onto their solar return!

Moon is in 4th house in Pisces-- resting, period of recovery, self-analysis (aspect to Mercury and Sun in 8th and 7th) building back relationships and also at the apex of it all --- ‘home’

Isn’t that the song they came out with? Anyways Pisces Moon in 4th aspecting Cancer Mars in 8th -- a lot of growth coming from this period, doing a lot of relationship building, self-investigation, analysis of one’s self and balancing intuitive placements into something that can manifest/work for them in something more ‘grounded’ or ‘stable’

One thing to note is Leo MC and Pars Fortunae in 9th -- if they were to perform internationally (Pars fortunae in 9th) it could be very beneficial for them, particularly because Leo MC gives way to an impactful performance as well. Now is a fortunate time to do so, and their NN is in Cancer in 9th -- travelling could be potentially good for them if they’re looking for things to consider. 

Neptune at the apex of a talent triangle between Taurus Venus (7th) and Capricorn Saturn/Pluto (3rd) points to a lot of foundation building (Taurus/Capricorn) nurture, healing, and maturity and carrying on those growth/dreams into performance, building up muses and conceptual ideas, working on regrouping and manifesting the things they want to do can be helpful in this aspect (Pisces Neptune in 5th). 

Mostly it’s that Capricorn Saturn (domicile) and Pluto in 3rd -- relationships with siblings have grown to be more mature, changes are made, giving back to people and also just evaluation of long-term goals, established reputation, what they can do with that nature and how they can use it to help others as well. 

Ceres in Sagittarius 2nd as well as Sagittarius Jupiter-- expansion, using resources to travel (perhaps) caring for others, listening for others. Again, this a period of recovery and absorption-- sometimes it’s kinda like, you’re kirby and you open your mouth really wide to absorb things in. But eventually you also have to release it and take care of yourself away from that as well. So it’s kinda that nature. A certain stability towards it-- mutable/water energy but that doesn’t mean they’ve lost the ‘drive’ they are well known for

In fact it’s more about working on the conceptual muse for the performance, regathering details and re-aligning what they want/need in their work. There’s certain hardships that comes with it (Chiron Aries in 5th) but also a lot of inspiration and dreams/focus towards it as well (Neptune in 5th) 

If they draw inspiration from their childhood/youthfulness and combine that with their progression/how they’ve come-- seeing that manifest into a tangible piece of work can be rewarding this year considering their placements.

Uranus conjunct DC in Taurus -- considering Taurus Uranus and it’s nature, unexpected push/attraction to certain things that are less planned out or doesn’t utilize the full ‘work through’ can cut down on their effort. In another regard, if they stay ‘stagnant’ in this period for too long (earth/fixed) they may become frustrated and would have to learn how to get a co-ordinator (time management) to work with them in moving things along (stages to stages)

Aquarius IC -- movement, perhaps at the dorm. Maybe they’ve already moved, but it can talk about shifting base as well. 

Oh and Taurus Uranus in 6th being in a talent triangle with Cancer Mars in 8th and Pisces Moon in 4th -- drawing from the analysis/relationships of Cancer Mars and balancing that with the intuitive/compassionate nature of Pisces Moon in 4th can help a lot with coming up with new innovative ideas, perhaps a darker or more homey concept (can u believe) but also environment/aligning their environment to be more conductive like that as well. 

Not a lot to say because everything is turning out nicely for them? Compared to their natal -- their sr this year seems to be more harmonious than the usual, a lot of just chill-ness, regrouping, the only thing that should be addressed is Sagittarius Jupiter in 2nd square to Pisces Neptune in 5th -- whether or not they make it big this year (bigger than they are!) is up to them!

[mortimemedoodles]

Lotor Friendsim?

Hey yall, this isn't much I just took the mc of Homestuck-Friendsim and replaced them with Lotor bc I'm out here to have fun. without further ado, here.

You have just crash-landed on a planet called Alternia, and staggered from the smoldering wreckage of your ship. You don't recall how you found your way out of the quintessence field, but better here than there, you guess. You are now completely alone in a strange world. Desperate for information, for provisions, and possibly a bit of medical attention. But most of all, you are desperate for...

FRIENDSHIP? 

Won't someone on this godforsaken rock be your buddy?

....Actually, no. You really are looking more for medical attention and provisions more than anything else. A buddy would be a good provider of these things, but really any weirdo will do. You're not that picky. You know more than anything that making friends can have disastrous side effects if you are not careful. You decided not to dwell on the series of events that lead you to be here and put voltron out of your mind. After all, your ship is ruined and you don't think you will be going anywhere any time soon. Best to look for help. Hang on... What's this now? Is someone approaching...?

Yes, someone is approaching! A strange, grey-skinned alien, clad in blue. Perhaps they will make for a good friend? You smooth out your hair and try to look half presentable despite your blatantly horrible wounds and burns.

ARDATA: dear god. ARDATA: and just what are you supposed to be? Your stammering reply eventually conveys that you are a lost traveler to keep this interaction simple, you also let her know you are hungry and probably in some need of medical treatment. You're also quite disoriented from your sudden landing in a strange new world and wouldn't mind making a new friend right now. ARDATA: oh. oh my. mmmmhmhm. ARDATA: hmhmhmhmhmhm... ARDATA: hmhmmhmmwahahahahahahaha. ARDATA: oh how funny thiiis iiis. how very droll. you... ARDATA: YOU want to be MY friiiend? ARDATA: iiit's too much. thiiis, thiiis THIIING at my doorstep, wiiishiiing to know me iiin any capaciiity. the hiiilariiity somehow escapes my abiiiliiity to capture wiiith maniiiacal laughter. how rare. You apologize for your presumptuous request. You replace your helmet, turn around, and begin to walk aw-

ARDATA: and just what the fuck do you thiiink you are doiiing? ARDATA: who iiinviiited you to leave?

You stop in your tracks, and turn to face her again. Your possibly broken ribs are throbbing in pain. But this does not strike you as the right moment to exhibit weakness. ARDATA: iiit dawns on me that we may have gotten off on the wrong saunterpod. where are my manners? ghastly behaviiior on my part. ARDATA: after all, iiit iiisn't YOUR fault you seem to be some sort of hiiideous freak, iiis iiit? and such a tragiiic creature cannot be held responsiiible for such a devastatiiing shortfall of sociiial competence. ARDATA: iii would weep for you, really. except that cryiiing out of three eyes at once gets a biiit messy. so iiinstead, iii thiiink iii'll be saviiing my tears for someone less offensiiively worthless. You... aren't sure if she's inviting you inside? Or if she just got you to stay a little longer, so she could insult you some more. You cant say youre fond of it, but after all that you have been through with voltron you cant say you feel you are above being criticized for many things. You try to remain stoic, while your confrontational new friend decides what to do with you. You have objectively been through much worst. Still you cant help but wince. Not only over your broken ribs but the stabbing pain of being abandoned once again. You would think this would be something you were used to by now. You sniffle slightly despite yourself. ARDATA: oh. ARDATA: oh my, oh dear. you're... ARDATA: sad? hmhmhmhm. ARDATA: hmhmhmwahaha. so amusiing to me. miiildly endeariiing, even? ARDATA: perhaps. iii'll decide later iiif iiit's endeariiing, once iii have more iiinformatiiion. iiit's entiiirely possiiible iii wiiill retroactiiively deciiide iiit's diiisgustiiing. ARDATA: but for now, try to put yourself at ease. you completely piiitiiiful fool. not one more sniiiffle. ARDATA: do you understand? You nod, while practicing exemplary control over your nose. ARDATA: you have gotten yourself so agiiitated. iii wonder why. you have nothiiing to worry about from me. ARDATA: of course iii wiiill be your friiiend. condiiitiiionally, iii mean. there iiis a chance the desiiignatiiion wiiill be formaliiized, iiif you behave iiin ways that iii approve of, startiiing now. ARDATA: let's call iiit a friiiendshiiip iiin progress. agreed? Your heart swells. This is what you've been waiting for. A new friend... oh gosh. All you have to do now is try not to fuck anything up at all, possibly for many hours. This seemed very good until you thought about it like that and now you really just want to leave. ARDATA: come iiinto my hiiive. thiiis way, after me. you look liiike you could use nouriiishment. ARDATA: iii don't know what iiit iiis that whatever you are eats, generally. but iiit doesn't matter. you wiiill eat whatever iiit iiis iii have on hand, iiif iii tell you to. how does that sound? How DOES it sound? It sounds good. I'll do whatever you say. You tell her. You can tell by her very unpleasant disposition that she is the type you want to speak with respect to to get what you want. God, its almost like your father decided to come back in the form of a strange looking teenaged girl.

ARDATA: obviiiously iiit sounds good. you wiiill defiiiniiitely enjoy it.

ARDATA: you wiiill enjoy everythiiing iii proviiide you wiiith, and tell you to do. iii can't iiimagiiine any sort of negatiiiviiity or diiisagreement comiiing from one of my friiiends.

ARDATA: iii wiiill assume that we share thiiis phiiilosophy, when iiit comes to friiiendshiiip?

You say, oh yes, absolutely. You nod as enthusiastically as you can, without aggravating your broken ribs. You resist the urge to roll your eyes into the back of your skull.

You consider giving her a thumbs up as well, until you realize one of your arms is probably broken too. You'll try to make sure she doesn't notice though. It would probably leave a bad impression.

ARDATA: come wiiith me. there's somethiiing iii need your help wiiith.

You follow her into her hive. It's a bit gloomy in here. You suppose she's going to fix you something to eat soon, as promised.

You pass through her kitchen, and... out the other side, to another room? Ok, you guess dinner can wait. Better not to piss her off and get kicked outbefore she can help you.

ARDATA: thiiis way. try not to let any of your broken liiimbs slow you down.

ARDATA: a good friiiend wouldn't allow such triiifliiing physiiical aiiilments cause me any iiinconveniiience.

Ah. Shes seen your injuries and does not intend to do anything to fix them. At least this is what you gather from your observation of her personality so far. You want to be angry but at the very least she has decided not to do something that would force you to work with your broken limbs. You are absolutely not in the mood to fight for example. You hobble a little faster, through another door into a much darker room. And now, down a flight of stairs?

It's hard to see. There are torches along the wall ahead. A monstrous noise rumbles below.

ARDATA: don't miiind her. she's just hungry. she's always hungry though.

ARDATA: what's that? you're hungry too? iii have not forgotten. what sort of piiiece of shiiit friiiend do you take me for?

You didn't remind her that you're hungry. You thought it though. Can she... read your mind? You hope not. That's going to make this friendship slash food excursion in progress a bit awkward. Not to mention that most of your thoughts on her thus far have been particularly kind.

ARDATA: here we are. thiiis iiis where you wiiill be most useful to me as a friiiend.

You look around. With a sense of relief, you see no sign of whatever hungry thing was grumbling down here. You are less relieved to see several other kids trapped in cages of various shape and size. If anything you are rather disgusted but decide to quickly clear your mind of that repulsion.

One of them makes eye contact with you.

The boy is the same kind of alien as her. Horns and all. He has a dark red symbol on his shirt. His expression seems to plead with you.

He struggles to say, "Hel..... p". Your new friend looks unamused and twitches her finger. "Hel... plo!" he says.

"Helplo. By which I mean, hello of course. Looks like you're the new friend in progress chosen by the great and beautiful Ardata."

"She's my savior, my reason for being. I am nothing without her. I'd hollow myself out and let her make a nest inside of me, if she'd permit it!"

You turn away from this boy. You don't want to hear anything he has to say, ever again.

ARDATA: hmhmhmmmm. don't miiind hiiim. he's always regarded hiiimself as a comediiian.

ARDATA: come. over here. thiiis iiis what iii need your help wiiith, iiif you're goiiing to have any value to me as a friiiend.

You're led to a dank corner of this, well, you're going to call it like you see it. This dungeon. Your new 'friend' has a dungeon full of sad, suffering children, and presumably a monster lurking somewhere in here as well. It's not ideal.

Then again, beggars like you can't be choosers. Not yet at least.

ARDATA: iii've been haviiing an awful tiiime wiiith iiit.

ARDATA: you can do iiit for me. iiit wiiill save me tiiime.

You look at the thing in question. You doubt she's been having an "awful time" with it. You doubt this because it's still in its box, looking completely untouched since it was brought down here.

It's a box containing a... table? A table that looks ominously like it was designed to keep a person strapped to its surface. You somehow find yourself missing the quintessence field looking at it.

ARDATA: iii wiiill need you to assemble iiit.

ARDATA: here's a screwdriiiver, iiin case you need iiit. iii wiiill assume other requiiired tools are contaiiined wiiithiiin the box.

You take the screwdriver with your non-broken arm. This isn't exactly what you had in mind, but you cant say its unexpected in hindsight.

You don't know what you had in mind, really. A warm meal, and friendly banter? Perhaps a sling for your arm, and a remedial balm for your ribs. Still, you open the box without protest.

ARDATA: hold on. before you start, thiiis wiiill make for excellent content.

ARDATA: my fans wiiill appreciiiate thiiis.

She sets up a video recording device on a tripod, and points it at you. A video feed comes to life on several monitors just behind you. You see in one corner of a screen, an unflattering angle of your torso hunched over the furniture box.

Other rectangles contain shots of the other kids in cages around the room. You suppose cameras are pointing at them, too. You had no idea this so called friendship came with the perk of instant stardom. Fucking fantastic.

ARDATA: now you may begiiin.

She's suddenly sitting in a comfortable looking chair facing you, and holding a chalice, swishing around some viscous liquid it contains.

You have all the parts spread out on the floor, organized according to their labels in the instructions.

You remember the last time you assembled something like this. You don't recall enjoying it. To be perfectly honest... this doesn't look like it will be fun at all. She frowns conspicuously.

ARDATA: oh. how sad for you.

ARDATA: iii'm sorry. iiis thiiis actiiiviiity not to your liiikiiing?

You reassure her vigorously that, no, it actually looks amazing. You love shit like this. It's what you were born for, you say, as you swoosh the screwdriver around, demonstrating your plainly evident skill with the tool.

Forget the thing you just thought. Completely arbitrary and WRONG thoughts pop into your head all the time. It meant nothing, you swear.

ARDATA: mmmhmhmhm.

ARDATA: yes. iii hear that a lot.

ARDATA: contiiinue.

You open the little bag full of screws. goodness, there are about, fifty screws to this thing. Where could most of these screws POSSIBLY even go? Judging from the picture, the table really doesn't seem that complicated.

You look at your screwdriver, then study the screws. Every single one requires some sort of wrench. Does this even come with a wrench? The instructions seem to suggest it does.

You look around, but don't see one. Did you open the bag too forcefully? Did the wrench go bouncing off into a dark dungeon crevice nearby? Maybe you lost some of the screws too... damn it.

You hold back a sigh and look around curiously. You check underneath one of the parts. No, it's not under there. You grip the screwdriver a little tighter to fight back frustration.

You wonder what to do next.

> Get the hell out of there.

First, you clear your head and try to think innocent thoughts.

Altea. your lovely little cat Kova. Your trip to Oriande. Ardata's long black hair spilling over her cloak. Her tripping down the stairs and breaking a horn. Her...wait. These are NOT innocent thoughts. If anything theyre more likely to make her want to berate you again for imagining such foolish things. Shut it down. SHUT IT DOWN.

There's no time for thinking. You have to act. You hurl the screwdriver at her and run.

She calmly lifts a hand towards one of the kids in the cages. The kid tenses up and lifts a hand in the direction of the screwdriver. The screwdriver freezes mid-air, right in front of Ardata's head.

You run up the stairs. She twitches a finger, the caged kid does a full body spasm, and the screwdriver goes sailing toward you. It stabs deep into your leg, and you buckle over, tumbling backwards down the stairs.

You're a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs, bleeding, and you think your arm is broken in two places now.

ARDATA: that diiidn't seem very friiiendly to me.

ARDATA: luckiiily for you, iii'm very determiiined to make relatiiionshiiips work.

ARDATA: even ones wiiith people who flee siiimple furniiiture assembly projects.

She stands over you. You attempt to pull the screwdriver out of your leg, but your entire body locks up. You can't move. She holds an outstretched hand just above you.

ARDATA: you shouldn't try to move yet.

ARDATA: and you certaiiinly shouldn't try to pull out that screwdriiiver. you'll get blood everywhere.

ARDATA: to my three liiittle eyes, under the present condiiitiiions, iiit seems to me that only one of us should attempt walkiiing up these staiiirs.

You feel somewhat relieved. Perhaps she has some... alien means of levitating you up the stairs? Wait... no. That doesnt sound like something she would do.

Your body is tensing up again. It's moving without your permission. You get to your feet, without taking the screwdriver out. Wow that hurts. What is she making you... wait. What? She can't be. There are many things she could be doing to you right now in your mind, but surely she doesnt intend to..?

You use both of your arms, and all your strength, and pick her up entirely. The pain from your arm is excruciating. Arms with broken bones are not meant for heavy lifting. The additional weight on your wounded leg isn't great either. Wonderful.

You hold her as a groom would hold a bride. She wraps her arms around your neck, to hang on to you in what strikes you as an overly familiar manner. She looks directly into your eyes, and grins.

ARDATA: thiii2 iii2 better.

ARDATA: now. onward and upward, new friiiend.

ARDATA: mmmwahahahaha.

Your legs begin to operate without your consent. They wobble and struggle under the weight, the wound throbs. You lumber back up the long flight of stairs, carrying her all the way.

You take her back to the kitchen and set her down in a chair seated at a table.

ARDATA: you diiidn't thiiink iii'd forget about diiinner tiiime, diiid you?

ARDATA: let's put your unfriiiendly behaviiior behiiind us. iiit's a good thiiing for you that iii'm benevolent enough to overlook diiisgustiiing acts of betrayal.

ARDATA: you may have notiiiced iii keep several friiiends iiin my hiiive who iii have siiimiiilarly forgiiiven.

ARDATA: consiiider the transgressiiion blood beneath the abattoiiir.

You exhale. Now that she mentions it, yes, you are hungry. Somehow you feel this is not going to end well for you, but you also know that thinking negativly is not going to make things better either.

Maybe a warm meal, if you even get it, will lift your spirits and get this heretofore turbulent friendship back on track. Maybe you'll even get the chance to pull this screwdriver out of your leg.

You pull out a chair and attempt to sit down. But your legs lock up, and then you stand again. Apparently this was not the right thing to do. As you expected, but you tried to have hope.

ARDATA: oh. but why are you siiittiiing?

ARDATA: there's cookiiing to be done.

Of course this is happening. You stagger mechanically over to the fridge, and open it. You pull out a large hock of some sort of alien mystery meat, and put it on the counter.

With your broken arm, you reach in anguish for a big dangling meat cleaver. You chop the hock, wincing with each swing of the cleaver.

You didn't know that's the way she likes it, but you surmise this is what she prefers in a piece of meat, since technically she is the one doing the cooking.

You put it on the table in front of her, along with a fork and knife beside it. Your muscles relax, as you apparently are allowed to control your own body again. She does nothing, except look at you with a pleased expression.

You eye the meat in front of her. Then the meat on the counter. And the chair on the other side of the table.

What should you do? Prepare a plate for yourself? Is that what she wants you to do? You hope it is but you know its not.

ARDATA: well?

ARDATA: iiit looks liiike you're confused.

ARDATA: iiisn't iiit obviiious what to do next, under your own voliiitiiion?

ARDATA: a good friiiend would know what to do. iiin fact, iii don't thiiink a good friiiend would take nearly as long to deciiide what the riiight thiiing to do next iiis.

ARDATA: iiit actually seems to me that a very rude friiiend would hesiiitate for as long as you are hesiiitatiiing.

ARDATA: or perhaps. someone who iiis not a friiiend at all?

You hold back on sighing again. You clearly don't have much time to make up your mind. If you wait for even a few seconds longer, you will probably be guilty of being a bad friend. Maybe even a dreadful one.

you are already neck deep in this and going through this hell for nothing seems pointless to you now.

What will you do?

> Feed her.

This feels like the only obvious thing to do. She is looking up at you quite expectantly. You reach for the fork with your good arm. You go for the knife with your other... ow.

You can't do it. The arm is much less serviceable when the muscles are not being forced via psychic override to disregard the pain response.

Nevertheless, she looks at you patiently and smiles. That's nice for you, you think, for her not to be mad about it. You feel like you're pleasing your new friend more and more by the minute.

You put the fork down, and pick up the knife with your good arm. You cut the meat into several pieces with a careful sawing motion.

You put the knife down and pick up the fork, and stab a piece. You put it close to her mouth. She seems pleased.

ARDATA: very good. niiice techniiique.

ARDATA: well siiized morsels, too.

She chews the meat with excellent form. She has very good table manners, you think. When she finishes the pieces, you slice off some more, and continue.

The meat looks very good. Your mouth is watering, but she doesn't offer any. Oh well, when it's the right time for you to eat too, you're sure she will let you know.

The meal is finished. There is no more meat, except for a few pieces of unchewable gristle, which you did not try to feed her. That would be thoughtless, very bad service.

She reclines, and steeples her fingers, looking quite pleased with how her evening has gone so far.

ARDATA: mhmhmhmhmhm.

You aren't sure why she's laughing. Does she have more cruelty up her sleeve shes ready to dish out?

ARDATA: mwahahahaha.

ARDATA: oh my. hahahaha.

ARDATA: what a fool.

You point at yourself, wondering if she's referring to you. You don't know what you've done that was foolish, if so. You're also still not sure what she finds so amusing.

ARDATA: hahahahaha.

ARDATA: hahahaha.

ARDATA: mmha. haha.

ARDATA: ha.

ARDATA: ...

She pauses her laughter for a minute or two. Then slowly begins to frown. A faint blue tear rolls down her cheek, from her bottom eye.

ARDATA: the truth iiis. iii don't even know why iii'm laughiiing.

ARDATA: thiiis iiisn't very funny, what's happeniiing here.

ARDATA: iiit was a good diiinner. you diiid a good job. whoever you are.

She puts her face in both of her hands, and sobs quietly. You have no idea what to do about this. You stand there, still holding the fork, feeling a bit useless. Shes tortured you horribly but you can see shes still just a teenager. You feel a little bad watching this.

ARDATA: there iiis a lot of pressure, you know.

ARDATA: beiiing so respected and admiiired for your hiiigh status iiin thiiis world.

ARDATA: iii diiidn't ask for thiiis. to be so superiiior to so many.

ARDATA: much iiis expected of you. much iiis presumed about what your personaliiity wiiill be, before you even develop one.

ARDATA: you work hard. and buiiild a brand. based only on what you thiiink people assume you should be liiike.

ARDATA: sometiiimes iii wonder. am iii even that GOOD at beiiing siiiniiister?

ARDATA: could iii be MORE siiiniiister, iiif iii triiied harder?

ARDATA: maybe thiiis iiis not my true calliiing after all.

You begin to offer words of sympathy. This all seems heartbreaking to you. this child needs some sort of support you think. But your jaw muscles contract, and your mouth shuts involuntarily.

You guess it's not your turn to speak yet? Fine, that works for you. You dont really know what to say anyways.

ARDATA: but what would happen iiif iii changed my brand? iiif iii stopped beiiing so siiiniiister onliiine?

ARDATA: my friiiends and followers wiiill deriiide and reject me.

ARDATA: and my superiiiors wiiill eat me aliiive.

ARDATA: iiif iii show weakness. iiif iii scale back on my bloodthiiirsty content.

ARDATA: wiiill iii iiincur the scorn of a wiiise ass clown wiiith a hundred miiilliiion subscriiibers?

ARDATA: wiiill iii be iiin a cage some day. liiisteniiing to a fuckiiing fool honk hiiis horn for liiikes?

ARDATA: no. iii must persiiist.

ARDATA: how lonely iiit iiis to know thiiis iiis all iii can do, untiiil the day iii leave thiiis planet.

ARDATA: iii have no materiiial or sensory comforts left for me here.

ARDATA: untiiil iii can get on a shiiip and fly away. paiiin iiis my only solace.

Your hand holding the fork grips it tighter. You're horrified to realize what it is in the process of doing.

You bring it down hard on her hand which is placed flat on the table. She doesn't flinch, or react in any way. Three trails of cerulean blood flow from the tines where they pierce her skin.

That wasn't very friendly, you think. You expected her anger from that. But then, you weren't the one who did it, were you? You're so confused.

ARDATA: my subscriiibers are not real friiiends.

ARDATA: they adore me only for my siiiniiister content. the show iii proviiide. my wiiicked, iiinfectiiious laughter.

ARDATA: iii get jealous of them someiiimes, because they get to watch my content. iiit must be thriiilliiing, iii thiiink. but maybe...

ARDATA: iii'm just jealous of them because they get to be people who aren't me?

ARDATA: thiiis iiis fucking deep. iii know. apologiiies iiif you cannot relate.

She pulls the fork out of her hand, and lays it gently on the plate of gristle you didn't feed her.

ARDATA: the people downstaiiirs iiin theiiir cages aren't my friiiends eiiither.

ARDATA: they act liiike they're my friiiends though. and sometiiimes, iii even beliiieve iiit.

ARDATA: but they don't really want to be friiiends wiiith me.

ARDATA: nobody does.

ARDATA: the only person who has ever really wanted to be my friiiend. who's ever TRIIIED to be...

ARDATA: iiis you?

You clear your throat, and point to yourself innocently.

ARDATA: that's iiit. iii've deciiided.

ARDATA: you have passed the test.

ARDATA: you wiiill become my friiiend. offiiiciiially.

ARDATA: as such, iii thiiink a reward iiis iiin order.

You are overjoyed. Your heart starts racing. You can't believe it. A new REAL FRIEND. You hope this means the hell shes put you through is over. But you don't have much time to enjoy this achievement. Your body is doing something again.

You bend down in a strained motion and pick up the plate and fork. You position the plate over your wide open mouth, and scrape in all the remaining gristle, and begin chewing.

It's virtually inedible. Your mouth humors the act of chewing for two seconds, and then you swallow all of it whole, in one painful gulp.

Tastes like friendship.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Comic Series to Read (Pt2)

+Apocalyptigirl: An Aria For The End Times by Andrew MacLean

Alone at the end of the world, Aria is woman with a mission! Traipsing through an overgrown city with her only companion, a cat named Jelly Beans, Aria's search for an ancient relic with immeasurable power has been fruitless so far. But when a run in with a creepy savage sets her on a path to complete her quest, she'll face death head on in the hopes of claiming her prize and, if all goes according to plan, finally returning home.

It’s an interesting story you don’t really fully comprehend until the end; and the artstyle suits it perfectly. Stand-alone volume.

.

+TAPROOT by Keezy Young

Blue is having a hard time moving on. He's in love with his best friend. He's also dead. Luckily, Hamal can see ghosts, leaving Blue free to haunt him to his heart's content. But something eerie is happening in town, leaving the local afterlife unsettled, and when Blue realizes Hamal's strange ability may be putting him in danger, Blue has to find a way to protect him, even if it means... leaving him.

Honestly? The story, the artstyle, the emotion they convey? Adorable. Perfect.  Stand-alone volume. [Lgbpta+, dark magic/necromancy and witchcraft, plants]

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+SAGA by Brian K Vaughan & Fiona Staples

When two soldiers from opposite sides of a never-ending galactic war fall in love, they risk everything to bring a fragile new life into a dangerous old universe.

That’s a very succinct way of putting it. Let me tell you, this whole story is a brilliant, mind-blowing clusterfuck of hatred tearing the universe apart, and two people trying to unfuck it all (through fucking, and the accidental arrival of a mixed child). The Wings and the Horns, two factions that were at war, who contracted other planets to fight for them and thus spread death and destruction through the entire galaxy as it is known.

[Lgbpta+, death, surgery, sex, birth, violence, cruelty, torture, slavery, general nudity, etc. this story, among its ongoing volumes, has everything. you never know what the fuck is about to happen]

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+HEATHEN by Natasha Alterici

Aydis is a viking, a warrior, an outcast, and a self-proclaimed heathen. Aydis is friend to the talking horse Saga, rescuer of the immortal Valkyrie Brynhild, and battler of demons and fantastic monsters. Aydis is a woman. Born into a time of warfare, suffering, and subjugation of women, she is on a mission to end the oppressive reign of the god-king Odin.

It really is an amazing story, and you can’t help but be drawn in on the chaotic tale. Volume 2 is really hard to get your hands on right now, so i’m dying to know what happens next, fml. [Lgbpta+, violence, homophobia, death, etc]

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+LADY KILLER by Jamie Rich & Joelle Jones

Josie Schuller is a picture-perfect homemaker, wife, and mother--but she's also a ruthless, efficient killer! She's balanced cheerful domestic bliss with coldly performed assassinations, but when Josie finds herself in the crosshairs, her American Dream life is in danger! A brand-new original black comedy series that combines the wholesome imagery of early 1960s domestic bliss with a tightening web of murder, paranoia, and cold-blooded survival.

I know I’ve said this before, and will probably say it again a million times, but Josie is EXACTLY how I picture Scout’s Ma from Team Fortress 2. This is the assassin/homemaker in my fanfics people, and when I discovered this comic I screamed... it really is amazing how fascinatingly well it mixes life and death. [violence, murder, blood, gore, etc.]

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+THE BEAUTY by Jason A Hurley & Jeremy Haun

Modern society is obsessed with outward beauty. What if there was a way to guarantee you could become more and more beautiful every day? What if it was a sexually transmitted disease? In the world of The Beauty, physical perfection is only one sexual encounter away. The vast majority of the population has taken advantage of it, but Detectives Vaughn and Foster will soon discover it comes at a terrible cost. Now, they'll have to find their way past corrupt poiticians, vengeful federal agents, and a terrifying mercenary out to collect the price on their heads.

Imagine an STI that makes you impossibly beautiful, radiant, literally the hottest person in the room (bc of a continuous low-grade fever). It’s pretty (pardon the pun) fucked up... and worst of all, Beauties, as they’re called, are now exploding. That’s the least of their problems. [Nsfw, lgbpta+, murder, violence, death, sex, nudity, medical procedures/hospital, etc.]

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