#instantly way less panic but i feel like shit still even after sleeping it off

[interstellarbookofflowers]

screaming into the void

[crescentsteel]

When in Brazil - Heat

pairing: Hinata x f!reader x Oikawa genre: SMUT wc: 12.1k (I don’t have excuses anymore. Bear with me pls) warnings: threesome, double penetration (all holes involved byee), anal, oral (giving and receiving), degradation, fingering, creampie, unprotected sex, spanking, dumbification, squirting

[a/n]

For maximum experience, you have to read the series chronologically for context.

Can you believe it? This took me more than a month to finalize because the Oikawa-Hinata dynamic is fucking hard to polish.

I'm staying away from writing smut after this (don't quote me on this).

I need to bathe with holy water after this.

Enjoy, I guess?

Here’s the AO3 link in case tumblr is being shit and crashes on you. 

MASTERLIST

The day is almost over, yet it feels like the minutes are ticking by too slowly. You just want to go home. You’re in the diner but all you can think about is throwing yourself onto your mattress and sleeping off the weariness brought by the surge of customers on a Friday night. To make things worse, Shoyo is not doing deliveries today so you have to close the diner all on your own.

You release a burdened sigh before you plaster a rehearsed smile on your already exhausted face. When you are able to recollect yourself, you go back to the array of customers waiting to be attended to.

Amongst the seated crowd is an all too familiar tangerine that stood out effortlessly. He’s never been in your diner as a customer, so seeing him as such is a nice change.

He’s with someone and is so engrossed with their lively conversation that he doesn’t notice you at all. Despite that, it’s still nice to see him. You always see him working so hard that it’s comforting to watch him hanging out and having fun with others.

You’re probably staring because his eyes suddenly dart to you.

Of course, Shoyo being the sunshine that he is, he gives you a warm smile and a friendly wave that you take as your signal to come over to their table.

“Fancy seeing you as a customer, Shoyo,” you say just as affectionately as his smile is. “You brought a friend too,” you add as you turn your head to greet his company.

Once your eyes land on his friend, you feel the strain in your facial muscles as you try to maintain the smile you’re wearing.

It’s the fucking tourist!

“Ms. Local!” he yells out with familiarity and delight dancing in his surprised eyes.

“You know each other?” Shoyo asks.

You and the tourist speak at the same time.

“No.” “Yes.”

Shoyo looks back and forth at you and the tourist with apparent confusion.

“He must be mistaken.” Despite the panic that’s starting to rise in your chest, you’re able to maintain a calm facade. “I don’t know him,” you add confidently because it’s the truth. You don’t know him aside from two facts you got from his last time: he’s a volleyball player from Argentina and he’s a hot scum of a tourist.

You give the tourist the most hospitable smile you can muster, hoping that he’s actually decent enough to get the drift.

He looks at you from head to toe before an amused grin forms on his lips. He rests his elbow on the table and lazily places his cheek on his palm. “She’s right, Shorty pie. I was mistaken. I actually don’t know her too,” the tourist says as he regards you meaningfully.

Shorty pie? Did he just address Shoyo as shorty pie? How snotty! Shoyo is not that short.

“Y/n, this is the great king, I mean, Oikawa-san, I mean uhhhh,” Shoyo turns the tourist and says something in Japanese. You try to get cues as to what they’re talking about but the language is incredibly different. You might’ve found it rude but it was Shoyo who did it. You can’t imagine him saying anything bad about you.

The tourist faces you with a wide smile. “You can call me Tooru, Ms. Local,” he introduces himself.

“Her name is Y/n, Oikawa-san,” Shoyo kindly corrects Tooru, not a drop of suspicion present in his tone.

“Right! Y/n it is.” He continues staring at you with a very smug look on his face that makes you want to kick him out of the diner. But even if you were the owner, you can’t do it without letting Shoyo know why.

You distract yourself and turn your full attention to Shoyo. “So, what’re you boys getting?” you ask cordially.

“Let me ask him, y/n. It’s his treat.” Shoyo faces his annoying company. You softly tap your feet on the floor and refuse to get back to Tooru, hoping that it’ll still be Shoyo who’s going to order for the both of them.

“Y/n, hallooo.”

It’s taking everything in you not to roll your eyes and exhibit a grouchy behavior unacceptable towards a customer. Goddamn it, you can’t even sigh to calm yourself down.

You force yourself to face him and let out a high-pitched “Yes?” paired with a feigned smile.

He chuckles uninhibitedly before he answers. “Actually, I don’t know what to order. I just wanted you to look at me,” he admits without any trace of shame.

You try to laugh your irritation away but it comes out awkward and loud that some of the customers near their table turn their eyes at you.

You clear your throat to shake off the embarrassment. “Since you’re undecided, Sir. We’ll get you our three best sellers which will take no more than 20 minutes to prepare. I’ll be back when it’s ready,” you say all at once. You don’t wait for their response as you turn around and hurry back to the kitchen.

You tell the cook their order and excuse yourself to go to the restroom.

As soon as you close the door, you cover your face with both hands and pour a regret-filled squeal onto your palms.

You certainly have been complaining about life being dull and repetitive. But this is too much of a mayhem for you to handle!

Out of all the strangers you could’ve possibly slept with, it had to be someone Shoyo knows. Fuck! What if the tourist, what’s his name again? You were too busy panicking that you didn’t even catch his name when he said it. It was something like Tori? Taurus? Tooru!

Tooru, the scumbag tourist.

His name is not really that important though. What’s more pressing is the possibility that he might tell Shoyo.

You really like your lively and good-natured friend. You don’t want him to think you’re a lady of loose morals for sleeping around.

Loud knocks on the door pull you back to the reality that you need to get back out there. You can’t stay in the restroom room wishing you can turn back time, even though you do. You wish you just stayed home the night you crossed paths with the tourist.

You take a deep breath and step out.

“What took you so long? Orders are piling up in the kitchen,” your fellow waiter reprimands you.

“Sorry,” you apologize before hurrying to the kitchen. You take the cooked meals and get them to their respective tables.

When the tourist and Shoyo’s order comes in, you collect yourself for a quick second prior to heading back to where they are. Despite dreading each step you take towards them, you manage to get there with an amicable smile.

“Here you go,” you announce as you put down their plates.

Even when you try your best to ignore the tourist by focusing all your attention on Shoyo, you can feel his avid stare boring onto your face. You’re just glad he’s not talking at all, so you don’t have a reason to face him.

“Thanks, y/n!” Shoyo says appreciatively which eases your discomfort a bit from having Tooru ogle at you.

“Anytime,” you respond just as kindly and head back to the kitchen. A huge wave of relief hits you when you’re finally away from their table.

Oikawa follows the sight of your back as you leave. What were the chances he would see you again? You gave him nada after your sexy encounter that night, not even a name. So you both parted ways still as strangers. What’s even more amusing is the fact that you’re friends with Shorty.

The world just couldn’t get any smaller - seeing Shoyo out of pure coincidence on the beach. Then finding you here when you didn’t want to be found.

He turns his attention back at his former opponent and finds Shoyo’s gaze at you as well. The glimmer of fondness is blatant on his eyes as they linger on your back.

“Shoyo,” Oikawa calls out.

The short volleyball player instantly flicks his eyes back to Oikawa, oblivious that he was just gawking at you.

“Do you like her?” Oikawa asks, straight to the point.

A faint blush pops out of his tanned cheeks as his eyes go wide, an instant giveaway that Oikawa hit the bull’s eye.

Shoyo breaks into a flustered smile while he rubs the back of his neck from embarrassment. “Yeah. She’s a good friend,” he states, his eyes shining with less than innocent admiration as he looks back at the direction you disappeared in.

Holy shit. Holy Shit. You fucked Shorty too!

Upon the realization, a chuckle escapes his mouth before he can thwart it. No wonder you came up with that spot on guess before. You got the story from someone who did the same.

A small world indeed.

Shoyo is probably the good fuck you were talking about that night. Looking at the former middle blocker, he certainly didn’t think that Shoyo would have enough experience in the bedroom to be considered a “good fuck.”

Interesting.

“Why don’t you invite her to watch us play tomorrow?” he suggests.

Shoyo’s face brightens up with excitement from his suggestion. “Yeah! I think she’ll want to. I told her that I play volleyball and stuff.”

He leans back on his chair as he grins from Shoyo’s response.

“Should be fun, right?” he asks with hidden deviousness.

—

When Shoyo asked you to watch their game, your understanding by ‘their’ is him and another local he regularly plays with. Not him and the freaking tourist!

If you had known, you would have politely declined.

Now, you’re sitting there on the sands of Copacabana with nothing but foreboding as you watch them start the game with two other players.

You know close to nothing about volleyball. You only came out of curiosity because Shoyo talks about it like it’s his life. Maybe it is. He did come all the way from Japan to a foreign country all on his own.

And so did Tooru.

You’re just starting to wonder if he loves the sport just as much Shoyo does, but you don’t wonder for too long. He gives you the answer with the way he plays.

Knowing that you’ll be watching two grown men playing, you expected them to be show-offs impressing the girl they invited to watch. However, they don’t even spare you a glance after they get a point in.

You don’t take offense in it though. Instead, you find yourself growing envious of them. Their personalities are so different but the look of passion and determination is burning similarly not just on their faces, but on their whole being.

Tooru is still a tricky scum in your eyes. But when he’s playing, he looks larger than life and brimming with pride and dignity. His cocky smirk is still there, but it’s more of an affirmation to himself and Shoyo that they’re doing hell of a good teamwork.

Shoyo, on the other hand, is all smiles and easy going everytime you talk to him. He still is inside the sandy court, but he’s intensely focused and totally lost in the game that sometimes, very briefly, he almost seems scary.

It’s so strange. One second they’re totally immersed and serious, then on the next they’re suddenly grinning and laughing even if they didn’t score a point.

You’d think they were teammates before from how they seem to communicate without really saying anything. But if they were then, Shoyo would have undoubtedly told you about him.

When the game ends, the two of them share victorious smiles. Why wouldn’t they? They did snatch the game. They’re so earnest and driven that you can’t help but be in awe, despite the one of them being real shady.

They both head towards your direction, Shoyo almost running towards you while Tooru striding slowly with pride.

Your attention inevitably goes to the orange ball of energy first. “Were you watching, y/n?” he asks while trying to catch his breath. He must’ve been really absorbed in the game that he didn’t notice you arrive earlier.

“You did great, Shoyo!” you sincerely applaud him as the tourist catches up to where you are.

“You too, uhh, Tooru,” you commend him awkwardly. Until now, you’ve only called him ‘tourist,’ so saying his actual name feels weird.

“I didn’t expect you’d let me toss to you, Oikawa-san,” Shoyo says with the thrill of the game still oozing from him.

“Would be a waste if we don’t try something totally new when the opportunity is there,” Tooru responds just as high-spiritedly, but you feel off about how he calls Shoyo.

“Why do you let him call you such names?” you ask Shoyo even when the tourist is right beside him.

Shoyo just laughs it off, obviously not minding the rude nicknames. “It’s actually comforting, y/n. It reminds me of home,” he says with a nostalgic smile that makes you feel bad about his situation. He misses home so much that even rude nicknames are welcome because it brings him closer to it.

“Should I call you ‘Shorty’ too?” you sincerely ask but he only grimaces. Meanwhile, Tooru laughs to his heart’s content.

“Sorry! I thought you’d like it.”

“Not from you, y/n,” Shoyo sulks a little, but buries the misunderstanding immediately. “Anyways, should I walk you home tonight?”

You appreciate the thought. It has been a while since you had the pleasure of his company.

“Yea, please do.”

“Can I come?” the tourist butts in, reminding you that he’s also there.

“Aren’t your teammates waiting for you?” you ask, subtly shooing him away. You saw the two men he was talking to earlier. Judging from the language they spoke, which was undoubtedly Spanish, and their athletic build, you concluded they were his teammates.

“Nope. I asked them to go ahead,” he shrugs and flashes you that too-charming smile he has.

“Oh, why?” you ask amicably to hide your distrust of him.

“It’s my last night here and I thought, why not make friends with a local?”

You don’t buy it, but it would seem strange to Shoyo if you blatantly refuse Tooru. In Shoyo’s eyes, you and Tooru haven’t met before. It would be suspicious for you to be so wary of him when he’s been ‘nice’ when Shoyo’s around.

So you agree. You won’t see him anymore after tonight anyways. A walk home won’t do any harm.

When you reach your place, only then it dawns on you that if you invite Shoyo inside, you’d have to offer the same invitation to the tourist out of common courtesy.  You really want to let Shoyo in, but if they come in pairs, you’d rather invite your friend another night.

Your turn around and what awaits you is Shoyo’s hopeful, hazel orbs.

Meu Deus, how can you refuse him when he’s looking at you like that?

--

You go to the kitchen to grab one glass of water for each of the two men in your living room.

You tell yourself that everything’s all good and harmless when you invited them in. If it was Tooru only, it would’ve been a different story. You wouldn’t have even allowed him to walk you home.

But since Shoyo is there, you feel somewhat safe. The tourist might be douchey but surely he won’t do anything with your tangerine friend around. They won’t stay long anyways, so it should be fine.

You close your fridge when you hear Shoyo’s familiar footsteps.

“Y/n?” He stops briefly on his tracks when you turn to him.

“Yeah?” you respond before he continues making his way to you. “What’s wrong?”

He’s only a step away when his profile reveals a somber expression he’s never shown you before. “Did you really do it with Oikawa-san?”

You feel the rapid increase of your heartbeat from his question. Did Tooru tell him about it while you were in the kitchen? To think that you were starting to believe that the tourist is not as bad as you thought since he’s been amenable the whole night. He proves you wrong before you actually believe that idea.

Now you have no choice but to admit it to Shoyo because you don’t have the heart to lie to him.

“It’s okay, y/n. He told me he tricked you into it,” he tells you with a sad yet understanding look on his face.

“Are you… disappointed at me?” you ask guiltily.

He shakes his head instantly. “No, but...” He averts his eyes downwards, dejection clear and evident on them. “We’re not going to do it anymore, aren’t we?” His tone drops woefully with his assumption.

Oh goodness, he’s so adorable. It’s like one of his favorite things was taken away from him. You would’ve dragged him in your room right now to prove him wrong if it isn’t for your other visitor in the living room.

Instead, you grab his hand and pull him closer to you as you lean back on the counter. You cup his chin to raise his gaze back to you.

“I missed you,” you tell him rather than directly answering his question. You move your hand from his chin to his cheek before you claim his lips. Like an automatic response, he envelops his hands around your waist.

He really is the sun, not only bringing rays of joy to you, but also heats you up all the way to sinful madness.

His hands drop down your behind and gropes them to draw you towards his body, letting you know how excited he’s getting just from kissing and holding you.

You still haven’t had your fill of his lips when he lets go of yours. “Did you feel good with him, y/n?” he asks, centimeters away from your mouth.

You pull back slightly from surprise. “Why are you asking that?” You try to decipher what he’s thinking but you can only see his need for you as you stare at him.

“I want to know how to make you feel better,” he says as an ounce of insecurity bares itself for you to see. You drape your hand from his neck down to his chest, caressing the broadness of it. “You already know how to make me feel good, Shoyo,” you say as you offer him a gentle smile.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he persists.

You sigh when you realize that he’s not going to let this go unless you answer him. “I don’t like him, but yeaa... it felt good,” you look away as soon as you admit it. You don’t know how he’ll react, but you know that wouldn’t be able to take it if he looks at you with disappointment or disgust.

To your surprise, he pulls you close again and rests his cheek against yours. He asks something too softly -- something you wouldn’t hear had he not been standing so close. “Can I watch him do it?”

You flinch away from his hold with eyes wide from the appalling question. “What?!”

Shoyo becomes alarmed at your reaction and completely releases you. “But if you don’t want to, it’s fine!”

He waves hands mid-air, panicking at how aghast you are from what he said. “We just thought it would feel good for you. Ahhhh.” He rubs his face with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m getting way ahead of myself,” he apologizes with a regretful look.

Tooru must have told him prior to tonight. If they talked about you to that extent, the little time they had in your living room wouldn’t have been enough. Shoyo knew even while they were playing and he didn’t treat you differently.

Meanwhile, that tourist was acting all goody-goody because he’d already told your friend that you two fucked. You only become more annoyed when you realize that the idea couldn’t have possibly come from your adored friend.

You squint at Shoyo as you ask him. “He put you up to this, didn’t he?”

Shoyo looks up, genuinely unsure how to answer you. “Uhh. He said I could learn a thing or two from him.”

You laugh dryly from the lack of words that could describe your vexation towards Tooru. The audacity of that fucking tourist! How dare he think that he’s any better than Shoyo. How dare he make Shoyo believe that he’s the lesser sex partner.

“Y/n?” Shoyo must have noticed your silent fury because he looks concerned when he returns his gaze to you.

You give him a too-sweet grin despite the exasperation boiling in your chest. “You know what? He can join, but he’ll be the one watching.”

You drag Shoyo back to the living room, ignoring him as he utters words of disbelief that you’re too mad to understand.

When you meet Tooru’s gaze, he gives you a knowing smile which you return with a resentful one.

“Shoyo, can you go to my bedroom first? We’ll be there soon,” you say while you keep your eyes trained on Tooru.

“Can’t I know what you’re going to talk about?” Shoyo sounds almost sulking, but you don’t deter. You turn to him with a pout of your own.

“I promise we’ll be there soon, mkay?” You stroke his hand which you’re still holding.

Shoyo nods and obediently heads inside your room.

You march to Tooru and yank his collar. Despite being surprised by your action, he looks pleased with your aggressiveness.

“Congratulations, Tourist. You successfully earned yourself a threesome,” you spit out, but he only smiles with satisfaction as you just consented to what he’s probably going for. “Now listen to me and listen well. You will be the one doing the watching. You will remain seated while you watch Shoyo fuck me. You don’t get to join unless I let you. Do whatever you want - jack off, drool, have a seizure, I don’t give a shit. But if you make yourself cum, you don’t get to touch me. Got that?”

He only blinks at your litany of rules, but you trust him to be smart enough to get that in one go. Quickly enough, he lets out a short whistle as he reiterates your rules in just one sentence.  

“Basically, no touching and no cumming from me, right?” he states with a pleased grin that makes you want to punch his pretty face.

But you have better plans, so you let him go and join Shoyo in the bedroom. You don’t have to tell Tooru to follow. He stands up on his own and heads for the bedroom a few steps behind you.

When you get in your room, you find Shoyo sitting at the edge of your bed. He looks so worried, looking at his feet while fiddling with his hands. You feel bad that you kind left him out in the dark because you’re too pissed at the tourist’s presumptuousness.

You sit beside Shoyo and grab his hand. He eyes you fretfully, obviously addled at what’s going to happen next. Rather than explaining, you cup his cheek and moor your mouth to his. You straddle him while your other hand clutches his hair. His palms immediately get underneath your shirt, skimming the bare skin of your sides while your lips ravage one another.

Shoyo suddenly pulls back, his confusion now mixed with lust as he looks up at you. “What about Oikawa-san?” he huffs.

“Don’t mind him,” you mutter on his lips as you descend on them once again.

Shoyo doesn’t ask further, discarding his qualms earlier and heeding your instruction like the good guy he is. He rids you of the top you’re wearing, his palm immediately covering the softness of your clad breast while his mouth seeks the weak spot on your neck. When he does find it, you reward him by pressing your groin against his.

You can’t help but laugh a little at how his arousal is already poking beneath his shorts. “You’re already hard, Shoyo.”

He doesn’t respond and proceeds to unclasp your bra that’s preventing him from feeling your bare breasts.

Like he always does, he takes a moment to revel at your half nakedness like it’s the first time he’s seeing you as such. And like every time he does it, he never fails to make you feel like you a marvel to look at.

“So pretty,” he murmurs to himself.

He plants fervid kisses on your chest until his mouth captures a perk bud. The action causes you to grind on his lap, attending to the ache that’s settling in your groin.

You itch to roam your hands on his body and groans with disappointment that it isn’t his skin you’re touching. He hears it and does you a favor by quickly discarding his muscle tee.

“Shoyo,” you whisper with brewing desire as your hands travel from his neck down to his chest.

“Yes?” he asks, completely bewitched even when you’re only half naked.

“I really missed you.”

You feel his erection grow even more while his face shines with adulation from your statement. He grips both cheeks of your ass and takes it upon himself to roll your hips again on his bulge.

“I missed you too, y/n,” he says before resuming what his mouth was doing earlier: devotedly twirling his tongue around one hardened bud while his fingers fiddle with the other. With already several visits from him after work hours, he’s well familiar with how you want to be had.

He demonstrates so by gently tugging your nipples with his teeth and fingers, making you cry out from the slight pang that heightened your craving for more.

You’re reminded that someone else is in the room when your wooden chair creaks audibly for you to hear. Shoyo is doing such a great job of taking you to a scandalous place far away from your mundane room that you almost forget that Tooru is there.

You take one quick look at the pretty guy sitting on your chair. He’s doing as he’s told and is watching intently, particularly at where Shoyo’s mouth is.

As much as you want to totally lose yourself in the sensation of Shoyo’s hands and mouth, you have to show Tooru what he missed on that one night of encounter.

You clutch Shoyo’s hair to pull him away from your body, earning yourself a baffled Shoyo when you get off his lap. You just smile reassuringly at him as you get on your knees. You try to lug his shorts down but fails as he remains seated, totally beguiled at the sight of you kneeling down for him.

You look up to him doe-eyed as you ask him, “Won’t you help me a little here, Shoyo?”

He snaps out of his daze from your question. “Ah! Yes, yes. Sorry.” He does the work for you and hurriedly pulls his shorts and undergarments down.

You squirm on your knees at the sight of his swollen cock. It’s been a while since you did it with him that you find yourself more than eager to have him inside you again; whether in your mouth or somewhere further down, you can’t decide.

Once again, the tourist distracts you when he lets out a whistle. “Damn. Who knew?”

You can’t help but agree with him. When you first saw Shoyo’s size, you were shocked as well. He, however, doesn’t get what Tooru is talking about. He eyes Tooru worriedly as he asks confusedly, “What?”

Tooru doesn’t answer Shoyo and just grins at him, so he turns to you instead. “What’s he talking about, y/n?”

You respond by gripping the base of his cock and taking him slowly in your mouth. You hear him hiss as his hand grabs the back of your head.

“Ahhh. So warm.”

You look at him and find him with lips parted and eyes shut as he relishes the way you gradually swallow his size.

Once your lips reach the hilt of his shaft, you drag your lips back up and release his cock. Instead of sucking it again, you tease him by flicking your tongue on his tip, twirling the hot, moist muscle around it whenever you feel like it.

Shoyo clutches your hair, oblivious to the strength he put behind it as he unknowingly forces you to meet his pleading eyes.

“Suck it again please,” he asks nicely despite his tight grip on your hair.

You smile tenderly at him, tracing the length of his cock with your tongue before engulfing it once again with your mouth. As you descend on him, you lock eyes with Tooru, making sure that he’s watching how devoutly you’re tending to Shoyo’s desires.

Satisfaction kicks in when you notice the undeniable bulge on his shorts as he keeps his eyes on you and Shoyo. This is supposed to be a show for him, but you feel yourself getting wetter from Shoyo’s whines and how Tooru is starting to palm his erection above the fabric of his shorts.

Shoyo takes hold of your attention again when he starts thrusting against your mouth, causing you to whimper on his dick. You squeeze his thighs to signal him to slow down. He stops completely, letting you withdraw away so you can breathe.

He opens his eyes and trails his hand from the back of your head to your cheek. “Sorry, y/n. It’s starting to feel really good,” he explains apologetically.

You offer him a delicate smile right before you descend your mouth on the whole of his cock in one swift motion, the tip of his cock tickling the back of your throat.

“ Ah! ” He throws his head back from the sudden movement.

“Shit,” you hear the man seated across the foot of the bed curse. You turn your eyes on him and witness how he frees his bulge from his shorts. He fists it slowly, matching the bob of your head on Shoyo’s dick. You quicken your pace and his hand mirrors it as well.

You unzip your shorts, unable to help yourself.  Without bothering to remove them, you slip your hands in and touch the moistness of your slit. You moan at Shoyo’s cock as you feel the pads of your fingers on your slick arousal.

“Stop touching yourself, y/n. I’ll do it with my mouth later. Make me feel good first.” Uncontained desire is swimming on Shoyo’s orbs as he stares at you while his mouth pants  with need.

You pull out your hand and plant it on the side of his thigh as you suck faster, hoping that he’ll cum soon so his tongue can replace what your fingers were doing.

Your pussy is throbbing so hard from how he’s learning so well. He pulled the same card you did the first time you sucked him off and it’s turning you on even more that you have to clench your thighs together just so you can ease your arousal a little bit.

“Let me do it,” you hear Tooru’s breathy suggestion. You’re not surprised that he noticed. After all, watching is all he’s allowed to do.

Shoyo gently pulls your head back as he asks, “Do you want him to?”

With his dick still stuffed in your mouth, you shake your head to answer ‘no.’ You want to alleviate the delicious tension between your legs, but you want Tooru to remain where he’s seated for a while more.

“I can do it well, y/n. I’ll trace my tongue on your cunt the way my fingers did on that beach. Let me taste you. I’ll get you even wetter with my mouth.”

You grip Shoyo’s thighs as you moan on his dick from Tooru’s lewd words. You didn’t want him to touch you yet, but the visceral imagery he provided you is making your lubricious needs unbearable.

You look at Tooru as you tell him with a wavering voice, “Come here.”

“Finally,” he says as he tucks his rigid member back in his shorts and rushes to where you are.

Shoyo helps you stand up and positions your back against the headboard of your bed. Meanwhile, you feel Oikawa’s hands grasp the seams of your shorts.

You’ve already unzipped it earlier so all he needs to do is pull it down, which he easily does as you lift your hips up for him.

“Please don’t forget I’m here, y/n,” Shoyo reminds you with a sullen tone.

Oikawa spreads your legs while you weakly grab Shoyo’s dick. You pump him a few times before taking him again in your mouth. At the same time, Tooru gives your already moist slit a well drawn out lick.

Your groan vibrates on Shoyo’s cock as your thighs involuntarily press together. Strong hands placed on both thighs prevent them from doing so as Tooru swirls his tongue on your throbbing clit.

The delicious strokes of his tongue lapping up your juices are incredibly distracting, making you a drooling mess on Shoyo’s cock. You grip his shaft to regain some control as you start quickening the bob of your head, your fingers hitting your lips as you take him fast and deep.

Tooru distracts you even further when he roughly pushes two fingers in without any warning.  “Oh my, would you look at that?” He laughs right between your legs. “My two fingers easily got in,” he says and starts languidly pulling them in and out of you.

You want to say something but Shoyo beats you to it. “Please don’t stop, y/n. I’m about to-uugghh .”

He starts taking shallow breaths while he keeps his hazy eyes on you. “Can I cum in your… in your mouth?” he asks as he starts staggering his hips faster than the bob of your head.

You give him a small nod, trying your very best to continue sucking him even though Tooru’s fingers are sending you to another kind of delirium.

Shoyo’s moans permeate the air as his orgasm erupts in your right in your mouth. “ Ahh, ahhhh, y/n, am cumming ,” he says before his hand goes to the back of your head and shoves his length at your throat, forcing you to swallow the entirety of his load.

“Holy shit,” you hear Tooru say as he stills his fingers inside you.

Shoyo eases his grip on your hair as he releases a satisfied huff. Your jaw feels relief as you remove your mouth off his member.

He takes his seat at the bed as he steadies himself again.

“I didn’t think you’d be one to swallow.” You turn to Tooru and see him no longer situated in front of your crotch.

He stands up and takes off all his clothes without any shame. You stare at his glorious nakedness, acknowledging that the last time’s encounter did not allow you any of the view he’s currently gracing you with.

His face isn’t the only pretty thing about him, it’s everything. And you can tell he knows it with how proud his strides are as he makes his way beside you.

Your dazed eyes follow him as he rests his back on the headboard.

“This is when you sit on my cock, y/n,” he says with that fraudulent smile of his. He’s so damn infuriating, yet, you can’t deny that you want to do exactly as he said. His tongue on your dripping pussy did nothing but fan the flickers of arousal in your stomach, so even if you still despise him, you don’t mind being fucked by him. You already know he’s not going to disappoint anyway.

You climb on top of him with an irritated expression and a soaked cunt that coats the tip of his member. “Please stop talking. Don’t make me hate myself for being horny over you,” you state almost resignedly. Levity spreads across his gorgeous face as a laugh starts to rumble from his throat.

“You’re so funny, y/n! I knew I made the right choice to fuck you that night,” he says with mirthful smile. You ignore him completely, tuning out his fatuousness as you align your entrance to his cock that’s been poking at you.

You anchor yourself with one hand on his shoulder while your other seizes his member for you to descend on.

“Oh no no no~” He grips your hips and stops you. “Why are you in a hurry? We have all night, don’t we?” He asks as he trails his fingers on the sides of your hip, effectively heightening your wanton desire to be stuffed by him.

You shake your head ferociously as you remember how intense he teased you and edged you on the beach. “None of that teasing crap anymore,” you say as an infuriated plea.

“Hmmm, “ he hums as he thinks about your belligerent request. “Kiss me first,” he says in a light tone but you hear the smidge of authority behind it. You gladly oblige as you hurriedly reach for his mouth.

Replicating what he did with his fingers, he fastens his grasp on your hips and rams you down on his cock. Your moan falls on his mouth mixed with his own. He pulls away from your lips, a string of translucent liquid connecting his to yours.

“Ahh, Ms. Local. You look so hot with that lewd expression on your face,” he says, his eyes hazy with his own dark, sinful yet alluring desires. “Since you wanted to be fucked so bad, why don’t you move for us?” he asks before he goes for that exact spot on your neck that makes you weak.

You start grinding against him, taking your time to revel at the feeling of his cock rubbing against your dewy insides. He startles your slow rhythm when you feel the sharp sting of his palm on one ass cheek.

You yelp out from the sudden pang burning on your skin. “Seriously, y/n? That’s really all you got?” he taunts while his hand on the other cheek caresses it, a soft warning that the same slap is about to hit it too.

Fuck. What even gave you the idea that you can take charge of this asshole? You kinda feel stupid now from your naivety and from how he’s making you lose yourself from the painful delight he just inflicted on you.

“Oikawa-san! Why are you hitting her?” Shoyo voices out his concern which makes Tooru’s hand still from its circular caresses over it.

Tooru weaves his head to the side to look at Shoyo while you slouch and rest your head on Tooru’s shoulders.

“You don’t?” he asks inquisitively to the other naked man on your bed.

“Why would I do that? I don’t want to hurt her,” Shoyo responds out of genuine concern that it makes your heart melt despite being impaled with the cock of another guy.

Tooru chuckles at his innocence before inviting him, “Sit beside us and watch, Shoyo.”

You feel the shift of the cushion beside you, indicating that Shoyo had followed Tooru’s suggestion.

“Ready to show your precious Shoyo how perverted you are?” Tooru whispers to you, delivering a wet stripe on your ear.

You struggle to hide your face on his shoulders as you answer him with a quivering “no.” The spank that follows is harder than the previous one, forcing you to throw your head back as you wobble from the pain.

“See, Shoyo-kun?” Tooru turns to your friend, treating you like an educational material for him to learn from. Meanwhile, the tangerine remains silent and eyes you with awe from discovering this side of you that even you weren’t aware of.

Your mouth gapes open while you try to think of something to explain yourself to Shoyo as you meet his gaze. Tooru makes use of the opportunity and sticks in his fingers inside your mouth.

You turn your attention to Tooru, a bunch of incoherent words coming from how he’s violating your wet cavern with his digits. Your plan to defend yourself to Shoyo is discarded when Tooru moves your hips against him with just one hand.

You go with the rhythm he’s setting while he thrusts his fingers inside your mouth.

“Hhhrrrmmm ,” you moan disorderly on his slender digits, making its owner chuckle with grisly amusement.

“She likes it,” Shoyo comments like he’s figured out what Tooru was talking about.

“Damn right she does.” Tooru presses his pads firmly on your tongue, coercing you to open your mouth wider. Then he trails his digits down, leaving your tongue lolling out of your mouth while his drenched fingers turn their attention to one nipple. To reinforce his point further, he pinches it, eliciting a pained groan from you as you shut your eyes.

“Wanna try for yourself, Shoyo-kun?” Tooru asks as he lays his grip back on your butt.

With your eyes closed, you don’t see how he reacts. You just feel him settle himself kneeling behind you and a different set of thicker fingers replace Tooru’s.

“Like this?” You can tell that it’s not you Shoyo’s talking to with how he’s obstructing your mouth from forming anything comprehensible. You feel the other set of digits find their way on your tits, making use of the slick that Tooru gathered from your mouth and fiddle with it.

“Do you feel good like this, y/n?”

You shudder from the feel of Shoyo’s lips on your ears. As always, he never fails to ask for validation if he’s making you feel good enough. At the same time, Tooru starts picking up the pace of how he’s rolling your hips against him, rendering you unable to respond to Shoyo’s question.

You can only interchange moans and whines from the different sources of pleasure swiftly leading you to grasp the edges of your climax.

Shoyo continues adoring you with his fingers at work and his mouth trailing zealous kisses from the back of your ear to the column of your neck. You feel his cock raging once again as it rubs on your ass while Tooru guides your pelvis to grind on him.

“Shoyoeeehhmmmm .”

He removes his fingers off your mouth and plays with your other nipple that’s been craving for attention. His tongue takes the place of his fingers as he slides it inside your mouth while he kneads your supple mounds. He starts grinding on your back as well, taking whatever pleasure he can get from the friction.

“Don’t forget I’m here too,” Tooru harshly reminds you of his presence when he puts a thumb over your clit and rubs the bud in brutal circles.

You tear your mouth away from Shoyo’s to cry out from the added stimulation that builds on to the pile of pleasure that’s about to explode.

Then, Tooru cuts all those coming from him, lets go of your hips and takes his thumb off your clit.

Even though Shoyo’s doing a great job of making feel good, it only intensifies your need for a release, not provide it.

“Why did you stop?” you mewl with the vehement need for him to make you cum.

“We’ve played this game before, can’t you tell?” he taunts aggravatingly because you remember it too well - how he made a complete mess out of you in public just to make you beg for him. You try to defy him by gyrating on your own, but the firmness of his hands lets you stay in place.

You groan with defeat. “Do you want me to beg again?”

He nods agreeably. “Beg for Shoyo to fuck you instead.”

You're taken aback by his request. You’ve never actually begged Shoyo the way you pleaded for Tooru because Shoyo always makes sure he gives you the pleasure you seek by asking nicely.

“Y/n, you don’t have to,” your friend counters his old rival’s order. Tooru slams a palm on your ass again before pushing his thumb on your clit. “Beg for him or this will go on for a while,” he warns.

You lean your head back on Shoyo’s shoulder as you look at him with lustful urgency. “Shoyo, please fuck me,” you beg with frustration. “Let me get a condom,” Shoyo says, and although you appreciate the thought, you halt him before he can leave the bed.

“I need you now. I need your cock inside me. Make me cum with it. Please …”

You feel his arousal pulsate at your back from your plea. Tooru lets go of his hold on you while Shoyo pulls you away to get you on top of him instead. Shoyo’s girth is thicker than the tourist’s so when he prods your entrance, you hiss at the additional stretch he’s giving you.

“You okay?” Shoyo utters caringly as he sweeps the strands of hair stuck on your face. You give him a frail nod as your pussy tries to accommodate his girth. When he bottoms out, you don’t give yourself time to adjust and hastily chase for the gratification Tooru denied you of.

Shoyo grabs you to lie right on his chest as you bounce rigorously on his cock.

“Shooyooooo, haaaa . I’m gonna--”

A spank lands on one butt cheek - a rough, sharp hit that instigates tears to prickle on the corner of your eyes from the sting, the very same hit that topples you over the edge of ecstasy. When your body begins thrashing on top of him, he continues moving for you, letting you ride the apex of your orgasm to its maximum.

“Y/n, uughhh, you’re clenching on me. Can I keep moving?”

He asks while rocking your hips to keep them moving. You want to tell him to wait for a good while, give you a minute for a break, but you’re too breathless to speak.

Tooru answers for you though. “Yes, Shoyo-kun. Keep moving, just move a bit slower.”

Damn. Will he ever say anything that you actually agree on? You’re just thankful that at least he made Shoyo slow down. He grabs your waist and hoists you up from Shoyo’s chest. “How’s it feel to be spanked by your dear friend, y/n?”

You’re a bit spent from your orgasm, but he’s overbearing that you just had to say something. “You’re a scumbag,” you puff angrily.

“I know,” he smiles sweetly before capturing your mouth while he leads your hand to his stiff member. He covers your hand with his and basically uses it to jack himself off.

“You could’ve had this taken care of earlier,” you whisper. He could’ve just continued fucking you until he got off, but for some reason, he made you do it with Shoyo.

“I have other things in mind.”

You’re about to ask what but Shoyo suddenly hits a spot that makes you grab onto Tooru for support. “Fuuuck,” you moan while looking at Shoyo helplessly. You just came, but his slow plunges are quickly reviving your crude desires.

He lets his hands mendear all over your body, worshipping every nook, every curve he can lay his hands on given how he’s lying beneath you. Tooru lets you go to let you fall back onto Shoyo’s embrace.

Shoyo stops moving you and does the work himself, plunging his thick cock inside you faster - a familiar feeling that always gets you reeling from his intensity.

What isn’t familiar is the prodding of something on an opening that’s never been touched. You harshly snap your gaze to Tooru to check what the hell he’s doing this time. When your eyes make contact with each other, he waves at you while his other hand rests on your ass.

“This will be awesome, I swear,” he assures you with no hint of sincerity. You see him spit on your ass before inserting one finger in your rear.

It’s totally new to you, a strange sensation to be penetrated in that particular entrance. But Shoyo’s thrusts are too good of a distraction that it weirdly adds to the sensation he’s providing.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re feeling good,” Shoyo says with his stare boring on your face.

Goddamn. One who reveres you and one who toys with you, how will this night end for you? Your thoughts get all frenzied up when you feel him add another finger in.

“It feels weird, Tooru! One is enough,” you tell him even with your attention all on Shoyo and the complete adoration he has on his face.

“Okiee,” Tooru says amiably, then inserts a third digit in your tightening hole. “There, one more just like you said,” he announces proudly as he slowly drives three fingers inside your ass.

Your breathing starts to get uneven from the foreign feeling. “Shoyo, I feel weird,” you turn to him.

“Should I ask him to stop?” he asks as he cups your face with sympathy.

“Yeaah aaaaaaaaahhhhhh, ohh shit.”  A different kind of pleasure assaults you when Tooru starts pumping his digits unforgivingly.

Shoyo interprets your moan as discomfort as he tells Tooru to stop. “I think she’s in pain, Oikawa-san.”

Tooru acknowledges Shoyo’s statement and stops. “Don’t move too, Shorty.” Shoyo immediately complies but asks, “Why?”

You get the answer when something bigger and thicker than his fingers penetrate your back entrance.

Oikawa winces at the first two inches he sinks in you. You’re so fucking tight that he can surmise it’s your first time to be taken in this hole. Shit, it’s already clamping on him despite not being even halfway in.

He nudges further, managing to shove in almost his whole length but that’s when you get alarmed. “Tooru, no more, please,” you plead with discomfort gleaming clearly on your features.

“Shoyo, move again.” He ignores you, but if you still don’t relax after this, he’ll pull out. Fuck. Shorty better does the trick. He’s been waiting for this. That’s why he’s been holding back and letting you and Shoyo have all the fun.

Fortunately, you do loosen up as Shoyo starts to rock himself inside you again. “I-I’m.. haaa,” you whine with pleasure more than pain.

Hell yeah. It would’ve been a waste if he doesn’t get to experience your ass. He was tempted to play with it that night on the beach, but the location did not permit him to do all the things he wanted to do to you, including this.

But no matter, he has the chance now, even better, Shorty pie is here to help him soothe you.

His hands wander on your chest, groping their softness before they travel down to the sides of your waist, then to your hips. Then, he rams his remaining length inside your tight gummy walls.

He can almost hear your throat scratch from the loud scream that came from it. “What did you do, Oikawa-san?!”

Tooru wipes a sweat from his forehead as he answers. “Relax, I just stuck my cock in her butt that’s all.”

“What?! No wonder she’s feeling weird. Why did you even do that?”

He grins at Shoyo’s lack of experience for these things, and also at you who seem to think that Shoyo knows how to make you feel good. To be fair, Shorty is very well familiar with your body and knows how you want to be held and to be fucked.

But nothing more than that. Shoyo obviously did not push for anything more than what you told and showed him.

Lucky for both of you, he’s there to expand your horizons.

“Yes, Shoyo. You can fuck someone in the ass,” he enlightens the ginger as he starts shoving his cock in and out to tend to his own needs.

“How does it feel, y/n?” he asks you. You turn your head back to him with that hateful yet intoxicated look in your eyes and he already knows that your ass will be for him to wreck tonight.

“I d-don’t like- mmmm -it,” you protest with a frail voice, but Tooru doesn’t bother to stop. Rather, he speeds up.

It’s definitely strange for you, being stuffed by two men whose thrusts are distinct from the other. You’d hear and feel the slap of skin to skin contact when Shoyo buries himself inside you, but when he pulls back it’s followed by Tooru fully sinking himself in your ass.

It’s absurd and absolutely lecherous, yet it feels fucking incredible. They’re stretching both holes while you can do nothing but grasp at Shoyo’s chest as you hear their groans and mewls taint your room.

“Do you really not like it?” Shoyo whispers for only you to hear.

The genuine care in his eyes makes you tell him the truth. “It feels,” you bite your lip when Tooru���s moans become louder as he pounds your ass faster. “G-good, Shoyo. Feels s-so good,” you somehow manage to finish speaking despite your head starting to get clouded from frenzy.

Hinata’s never felt anything like this before either. He can feel Oikawa inside you with that flimsy muscle that separates your two holes. Your little pussy feels more snug against him, swallowing his dick tighter for him to revel on.

But the look on your face tells him that this feels way more intense for you than for him. Your pupils are blown out, your cheeks are flushed, and you’re almost drooling at his chest while you claw on him. It’s so sexy -- the sexiest expression he’s ever seen from you. He can cum just from this, but he can’t help but wonder.

“Oikawa-san. I want to see,” he stops moving altogether when he tells the setter.

You widen your eyes at him. You probably don’t like his idea, but he can only apologize for his curiosity is getting the best of him.

He pulls out from you and watches Oikawa grab you to rest on his chest. Oikawa leans against your headboard and spreads your legs to indulge Hinata the view he requested.

“Here you go, Shorty-pie. I’ll slow down for you,” Oikawa says.

Hinata’s attention is all on your ass being spread out by Oikawa’s dick. It’s so obscene. He never imagined you could be fucked there. If he knew, he would have tried it himself.

“Shoyo, don’t look at me,” you plead.

His eyes shoot up to your embarrassed face, not understanding why. You look fantastic like this: sprawled out for him to see everything. our rear being defiled, your pussy dripping and gaping at nothing, your body glistening with sweat, and that erotic expression you have.

“Uhhhh, ” you shut your eyes when Oikawa starts toying with both your boobs as he continues thrusting at you.

“Don’t be so stingy, y/n. Shoyo wants to see you like this,” then he turns to Hinata. “Isn’t she so slutty, Shoyo-kun?”

“I’m not-”

A slap on your clit stops you from finishing your sentence. Your cunt starts clenching on its own from the sting. “Fuck, y/n. Even your ass is throbbing from that. You really like being hurt, don’t you?”

He says all that while his middle finger rubs circles on your hard nub. God, your mind is in ruin from this slow, venereal torture Tooru is subjecting you to.

“I d-don’t,” you pant heavily from the heavy ache in the pit of your stomach.

Another slap hits your cunt, ripping a shrill whine from you, followed by a slew of whimpers when his fingers fondle with your clit again. “What’s that again?” Oikawa hums on your neck.

“I’m a slut! I’m a slutty girl, so please. Please don’t stop again,” you admit defeatedly, overwhelmed by the intense craving to be fucked properly.

“See, Shoyo-kun? Your good friend over here is a pervert who has a talent for begging.”

You look at Shoyo, ready for the scandalized and disgusted look on his face. But what you see is mesmerized hunger with his eyes on your body.

“I want to fuck her ass too, Oikawa-san.”

Tooru takes out his dick as Shoyo requested. “Go ahead, Shorty.”

Shoyo grips your knees and pushes them back a little before he probes your entrance. Oikawa tilts your face to his and engages you with a messy kiss where he darts his tongue inside your mouth right off the bat.

Then he puts his hands back to work, one on your tit and the other on your pussy, distracting you from the pain of Shoyo’s size penetrating your other entrance.

“It’s so big,” you whimper on Tooru’s mouth, which makes him stop all his ministrations and retreat a bit. “Geez, y/n. Are you trying to insult me?”

“N-no, it’s just uughhh.” You feel the whole of Shoyo’s length inside your rear end.

“Does it feel good, y/n?” he asks even though he’s already moving in and out of you with less sympathy than he used to have as he doesn’t let you adjust to him. And when you’re finally used to his girth, he pulls out completely and hammers it inside your sopping pussy.

He thrusts a few times then gets back to your ass again. He does this several times, the pleasure barely setting in on one hole, then proceeds to fucking the other before it feels too good for you.

“Shit, Shoyo. That’s fucking hot. Our y/n here loves it. Look at her.” Just as he’s ogling at you, you watch him as well. He’s completely lost in it, his eyes trained on where your bodies are connected, not aware that he’s driving you mad with the way he’s abusing two holes interchangeably.

“Shoyo…”

“What?” His voice is gruff as his alternating thrusts are getting faster, making you squirm on Oikawa’s chest for you can’t decide what you want to tell him. You don’t know if you want Shoyo to fuck your cunt or your rear.

You’d hate to admit it, especially with Tooru holding you captive in his hold, but you want both caverns stuffed to the brim.

“Can you choose one? I want to fuck her too, Shorty,” Tooru’s voice is laced with need which wasn’t there earlier. Finally, you agree with him on something. It pops off Shoyo’s enthralled selfish state of gratifying his pleasure alone.

“My bad,” Shoyo mutters before slotting his cock deep inside your pussy, choosing it for him to ravage on, which leaves your behind for Tooru.

When you get what you’ve been craving for, it’s mind-shattering. You’ve been edged non-stop that the feeling of being pummeled by Tooru’s and Shoyo’s cock shatters any slew of dignity and shame you had. Your head is filled with nothing but their dicks battering your insides with an uncoordinated, wild rhythm.

“Yesssss ahhh. ”

Tooru’s chest vibrates from his low laughter as he asks, “Does my cock feel good in this hole of yours?”

Shoyo spreads your cheeks apart, increasing the effect of Tooru’s words as he glides in easier and faster from Shoyo’s action.

“Yes! Please, keep fucking my ass, Tooru. Oh god, fuck. Shoyo, you’re hitting so deep, I - haaaa. ” Oikawa starts sucking a sensitive spot on your shoulder while Shoyo leans down inches from your mouth.

“Can you stick your tongue out, y/n?”

You don’t ask anymore, you just do it. You poke your tongue out as Shoyo requested. He does the same to play with yours, his moist, warm muscle clashing and colliding over yours.

Shoyo is different from usual and so are you. You feel so perverted, but you’re relishing every second, every thrust by both dicks.

“‘ m genna cuuhhmmm,” you slur.

Shoyo retrieves his tongue, leaving yours hanging out of your mouth. “I can’t believe you’re this slutty, y/n.”

You lose it. Shoyo’s crude words make you convulse on top of Tooru as your orgasm comes crashing down on you. You didn’t expect such treatment from Shoyo. You also didn’t expect you’d cum because of it.

You try to arch your back but Tooru is quick to grab one wrist while his arm snakes around your waist to prevent you from doing so. You’re left with no choice but to stay a whimpering, writhing mess in between two men who continue to slide in and out of you while you reel from your second climax.

With your one free hand, you wearily reach for Shoyo’s wrist. “Let me rest.” Your body is beginning to feel overwhelmed from the consuming pleasure they’re assaulting you with.

“Ehhh? That’s boring. Wanna try something fun, Shoyo?” You don’t miss the naughty suggestive tone of Tooru, but you’re too out of it to react.

Shoyo disregards your frail request and nods eagerly at the man behind you. With Shoyo’s approval, Tooru slips his cock out of your ass and pushes it into your pussy that’s already occupied by Shoyo.

“GAAAAAAAAAHH!!”  You struggle again to break free from Tooru’s embrace but combined with your fatigue and his strength, it turns out futile. The stretch is atrocious. It’s like you’re being split open to no end.

“Too tight,” Shoyo bites his lip with distress.

“Spit on her cunt,” Tooru quickly provides a solution which Shoyo does without thinking twice, gathering drool in his mouth then barbarically spitting on your pussy.

“I can’t do this. I’m going to break,” you voice out to no one, hoping that one of them takes mercy on you.

Tooru growls right on your ear. “Now won’t that be interesting?”

Then he rams his dick inside you, successfully joining Shoyo’s.

Another scream rips out of you as the two of them try to fit inside your already wrecked cunt. It hurts. You feel the burn of being outstretched together with discomfort of overstimulation. Even then, the moans that come out from you are of carnal thrill and elation.

It hurts, but in the best ways possible.

Your toes are curling from the lack of grip on reality while your hands tremble as they sought for anything to hold on to. One is shaking as it grips on Tooru’s forearm while the other is quivering at nothing in mid air.

Finally, Shoyo takes notice of you. You don’t care how you look right now, but you’re just glad that he’s looking your way again.

He hooks your calves to his shoulders, freeing both of his hands to hold yours. He intertwines them with his, allowing you to ground yourself on him that way.

Tooru’s thrusts become erratic as hands find purchase on your tits to paw. “Fuck, I can’t take it anymore. I’m gonna-uughhhh -cum.”

Your response is one driven by vulgar desires. “Cum inside me, Tooru. Pleasee,” you tell him as you look him in the eyes.

“Fuck yes! ”

The slap of his skin against yours gets louder and faster while his high-pitched whines fill your ear. “Yeaaah, cumming, Ms. Local. Shiiiit.” He stills completely while you feel spurts of warm liquid fill you up.

His hot breath fans your neck as he comes down from his climax, but he doesn’t budge and remains inside you. You wiggle above him, trying to get his cock to slip out, but he only fastens his grasp on your waist.

“Trust me, y/n. I’m doing this for you. Without my cock, this cunt of yours will loosen up. You and Shoyo-kun will take even longer to cum with how stretched and wet you already are.”

Shoyo, on the other hand, pummels inside you even faster from the lubrication Tooru gave. “You feel so amazing, y/n. Hmmmmppp. So tight, so sexy, so haaaa.” His fingers are almost crushing your hand, but you only feel the pleasure of being drilled with his dick.

Tooru’s hand flies to your sex and frantically plays with your clit again. But this time, the effect is even more immense as he consistently rubs it with his calloused pads in rapid up and down strokes. His other fingers add another stimulation for you, tweaking one perk nipple - pinching and pulling at his leisure.

Your whole body is on fire. You feel so dirty with sweat, drool, and cum all mixed and squelching from your slit. You feel it - the impending orgasm that feels different from the rest. Your head’s all fuzzy while your vision is getting blurry for some reason.

When a hiccup escapes your mouth, you figure out why - you’re sobbing. Tears are welling in your eyes from the overstimulation. “Too muuuuchhh, is tooo muaaa-aaaahhh.”

“Almost there, y/n. Just a bit more,” Shoyo says with eyes closed and clenched jaw as he continues roughing up your already sore pussy.

Shoyo starts thrusting a bit upwards, hitting a spot that’s doing something inexplicable to your senses. “Something — oh god, something’s uuuhhh, noooo.”

You hear a deafening wail from you as clear liquid gushes out from your sex while you thrash uncontrollably. “Holy shit, she squirted.” Tooru’s voice seems distant with how you’re still teetering from the violent orgasm that exploded from you.

“What was th- shit! I’m cumming. I’ll cum inside you too, y/n. You’ll let me, riiight?”

His hips rut viciously onto yours, prolonging the intensity of your own release. His mewls get louder and louder paired with your cries until he delivers one sharp thrust that unloads his seed inside you.

You feel so full with two dicks still inside you with both their cum dripping down your pussy. Tooru is the first to pull out while Shoyo is puffing with his hands still tightly clutched onto yours.

A massive weight looms on your chest, extending all over your body now that the euphoric yet salacious fog in your head is slowly being stripped off. Your vision is clearing out, the light bulb on your ceiling suddenly seeming too bright for you. The tenderness of certain body parts are getting noticeable. The sweat and saliva on your skin suddenly feels too sticky, too filthy, too disgusting.

You’re not even aware you’re trembling once again.

Oikawa, being the one holding, immediately takes notice. “Y/n?”

Your response to him is a whimper. “Shit. Let go of her. Now,” he says with urgency.

Shoyo opens his eyes and is alarmed when he sees you in a rattled distress. He softly draws you away from Oikawa and cradles you himself.

Oikawa stands up and goes to your drawers. Hinata doesn’t know why but doesn’t mind and turns his attention to you instead.

“Y/n?” He caresses your shoulder down to your arms, trying to ease whatever it is that’s bothering you. You hang onto his bicep but it slides down from the dampness of his skin. His concern grows when you let out a soft sob.

He holds your hand delicately, brushing his thumb against it. He tries to get you to look at him but you persistently shun your face away. “Please look at me. I’m so sorry. Was I too rough?”

You swing your head side to side, refuting his assumption. “I feel nasty and gross,” you sniffle. “But you’re not. You were so beautiful and sexy and amazing,” he says truthfully as he remembers how ravishing you were laid out for him.

You finally look at him, the most vulnerable he’s ever seen you.

“Really?”

He nods earnestly before planting a tender kiss on your forehead.

Oikawa comes back to bed with fresh towels at hand. He wipes the clammy fluids on your body, patting the warm cloth on your arms, thighs, and torso which alleviates further your malaise. Then, he wraps a new one around you and lifts you up to a sitting position.

“You’re far from being disgusting, y/n,” Oikawa whispers on the back of your head. He carefully lays his hand on your shoulder, testing if his touch triggers any unpleasant reaction from you. He skims it towards your neck and cups it. With no resistance put up, he places a chaste kiss on your nape.

“You were incredible,” he hums on your skin. “Let’s take a shower? Get you cleaned up, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you murmur weakly. Oikawa looks at Hinata and signals him to carry you since you’re more comfortable with him.

You sigh once the warm trickles of liquid hit your skin. It’s calming, soothing the distraught uproar in your thoughts and nerves.

A hand rakes up the wet strands of your hair and lathers your soap on your back. On your front, a familiar set of lips kisses you while water streams down on both of you. It feels like a hazy, tranquil dream. You just hear the cascading of water, echo of footsteps in the wet tiles, and a couple of sighs.

Next thing you now, you’re snuggled up in bed with someone drying your hair. You open your heavy lids and catch sight of a topless Tooru seated next to you as he tucks you with a blanket that smells like your drawers.

The bed is no longer drenched and everything feels crisp and fresh, lulling you deeper to rest.

“Stay with her until the morning, Shoyo.” It’s Tooru’s voice.

“You’re leaving?” Shoyo questions him as he stops patting the towel on your hair..

“Nah. She doesn’t like me. She’ll probably scream or hit my face first thing in the morning.” He’s about to get up when you muster whatever energy’s left of you to grab his wrist.

He regards you with care as he takes hold of the hand you’re tugging him with. “Yes?”

“Stay.”

He smiles with affection, a novel sight he’s shown you only now. He joins you in bed, filling the empty space on your left side. You close your eyes again, relishing the soft caresses and gentle pecks on your body as you peacefully drift off to sleep.

--

You wake up with the warmth of another body radiating onto yours. A heavy arm is draped across your waist and your cheek is nestled to a chest that rises and falls in a calming tempo that makes you want to drift back to your slumber.

But curiosity gets you. You slowly open your lids and are met with rays of sunlight glazing the orange strands of hair of the man next to you.

‘Sunshine on sunshine,’ you thought.

It’s a stirring sight to behold, but you have to wonder. He’s never stayed until morning. What happened last night that made him do so?

You scuff around, getting ready to sit up when you feel a heavy ache from your abdomen all the way down to your legs.

Wha- oh.

Oh.

That happened.

After your mind refreshes itself and replays some key scenes from last night, you glance back at Shoyo with no ounce of regret from what happened. You give him a soft peck on his chest and carefully shuffle out of the bed, making sure you don’t wake him up.

Up on your feet, you walk to your dining room and find what you’re looking for - the other accomplice of last night’s feat.

He’s seated comfortably at your table with a hot cup of coffee. “Buenos dias, señora,” he greets in his own dazzling way.

“I thought you were leaving,” you state with no trace of hostility as you trudge to the kitchen from how tender your lower body is.

“I clearly heard you asked me to stay,” he ripostes.

You get your own cup of coffee and join him in the dining area. “I did, didn’t I?” you ask with a soft whimsical grin ghosting across your lips.

“Mmhmm,” he sips from his mug leisurely then asks, “Any regretS?”

You meet his mellow eyes with your own. “Weirdly, none.”

The smiles that spread on your faces mirror each other, humored and satiated. Last night was definitely an experience - a mind-blowing one, and you’re extremely thankful that the aftermath of it was extremely catered for you as well.

The remaining contents of his coffee were spent in comfortable silence. “I think this is when I say thanks for the sex and coffee, then leave.”

Your reaction should be of animosity. This is the part you detested, when you’re treated like a part of the Rio de Janeiro local tour. But for some reason, you found the current situation funny.

“I believe it is indeed that moment,” you agree congenially.

“See you when I see you, Ms. Local,” he gives you a wink and gets up. The smile you had doesn’t go away as you bring your cup to your lips.

You hear your door open and a sudden need to tell him a parting message bursts on your chest.

“Hey, Tourist,” you break the stillness of your apartment as you call him out and turn around on your seat to face him.

“Hmm?” He regards you quaintly with his hand still on the doorknob.

It is long overdue and inappropriate in various sorts of ways, but you say it anyways.

“Welcome to Brazil.”

masterlist of other stuff I wrote

Taglist (those crossed out can’t be tagged)

@ameliaxo @suikrem @akaashisslave @tsumurai  @babythotshq @loving-unicorns106 @flairlust @crescenttooru @yashuaaa @liberhoe @richkookie @hqbeesun @megatron-1199​ @kawaiiisis​

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 6

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language, brief violence, and a line that hints at past physical abuse (depending on how you choose to interpret it) Warnings: Mild TW for implied/referenced abuse Notes: Okay so this was supposed to be somewhat therapeutic? But it ended up taking longer to get to that part than I intended, so... Don't worry though, next chapter will be fluffy and also involve more, like, actual Daniela scenes. Previous Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2 Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco

Chapter 6: Elegy

(Elegy: A piece of music in the form of a lament)

When you dream, you do not dream of being locked in a tower, awaiting a kindly knight to come save you. When you dream… you dream of your old home, infested with monsters, nearly unrecognizable. Of being forced to flee, leaving everything you loved behind. Of escaping to a remote, quaint little village, only to end up trapped once again, as friendly faces morph into gaping maws and fangs dripping red. When you dream, it is less a nightmare, more memories retouched, covered in a fresh coat of paint.

Waking up is but a brief source of comfort. One hand goes to your head, rubbing gently, as if you could wipe away all traces of your past. A quick glance around your shared room leaves you confused, but serves as a welcome distraction. Though there are six beds in the room, yours is the only occupied one, the others having all been vacated and made presentable. The only explanation that fit with what you knew was that everyone had gotten up, and gotten to work, without waking you. Panic filled you as you connected the dots, knowing that missing work was a death sentence.

Rushing, you rise to your feet, throwing your dresser open to search for fresh clothes. While the castle’s staff was almost entirely female, the Dimitrescu family didn’t enforce traditional gender presentation, allowing maidens to choose whether to wear a dress or a button-up and trousers. Remembering the wound on your neck, you pause, glancing in the dorm’s singular mirror to inspect your injury. Most of the blood had rubbed off in your sleep (and would likely be a nightmare to clean from the sheets). There were, however, a few spots where dried blood mingled with the protective scab. Considering how late you already were, you didn’t believe you would have time to clean up.

As much as you hated the thought, the best you could do was go for a button-up, hoping the collar would hide the worst of your disastrous appearance. Your hair was another matter entirely, far messier than it normally was, and you struggled to brush/comb it enough to be mildly presentable. Good thing Daniela won’t see me today, you think, remembering her insistence on skipping today’s lesson.

Then you remember the rest of your conversation with her; the yelling, being dragged to your feet, and the pain in her eyes. For a moment you feel woozy, pausing in the middle of buttoning your shirt. Your eyes focus on a spot on the now-closed dresser… and suddenly you wish you had paid more attention when you first woke up. There’s a note stuck to the furniture, clearly addressed to you.

Heard you had some trouble yesterday. We’re just glad you’re alive! A certain someone has been a lot nicer since you started playing the piano, and we’re grateful. To show that, we decided to split your morning duties among ourselves, so you can sleep in. If you’re reading this, then it’s still before 4 AM. Feel free to just relax for a while, or even get some more sleep! We’ll be by to make sure you’re up eventually.

Sincerely,

Daphne, Rosalia, Ygritte, Alexandra, Juniper, and Riley

“I… have… freetime?” You mumbled, still a little drowsy, but now also shocked. This was a complete first for you. Maybe even a first among the servants! Sure, you had been given breaks before, but having a couple hours to do whatever you wanted? No one had ever pulled strings like this for you before. It made your chest feel warm, and you just about forgot the whole mess with Daniela. “I’ll have to find a way to pay them back, even if they think they’re paying me back.” With that said you relaxed a little, no longer rushing getting dressed, though still leaving your neck the way it was. You figured you’d stop by one of the maidens’ restrooms before you officially started your shift.

In the meantime, you knew exactly what you’d be using this time for: finding those damn piano books you had been promised!

-----------------------------------------

“Let’s see… dust, more dust, a dead spider, even more dust, and- oh shit, the spider is not dead,” you said, barely holding in a yelp as the arachnid scurries away from you. If you had known the attic would be so unclean, you might not have bothered to come up here. So far your targets had alluded you without giving so much as a hint towards their location. The library had seemed a likely location, but you had heard Daniela’s voice within, and anxiety had sent you dashing away. Up here, in an area clearly used for storage above all else, was the next best guess, as far as you were concerned. Still, you hadn’t seen anything worth your time yet.

Just insects, really. Not even terribly interesting ones. Well, there had been a shiny beetle of some sort, but it had crawled into a crack in the wall mere seconds after you saw it. Other than that, though, nothing but creepy crawlies. Creepy flyers?... Both, for sure. One fly in particular kept buzzing around you, weirdly interested in what you were doing.

Somehow you didn’t understand what that meant until a firm hand had wrapped itself around your neck. The grip was tight, putting more than enough pressure to make your vision blur. Thankfully, or perhaps unfortunately, the culprit didn’t intend to just choke you out. Instead they lift you and toss you aside- casually, at that. You hit the wall with a terrible crashing sound, certain to leave bruises, and narrowly avoid toppling into a stack of heavy crates. So much for enjoying some free time, you think. Stunned for several seconds, you find yourself left helpless as your attacker approaches.

“You’re not allowed to be up here,” a voice snarled, familiar enough to leave you terrified. Of course you had to run into the most violent of the Dimitrescu sisters. “Looking for a way out, hmm? Or are you stupid enough to think we’d leave a weapon where a wretched thing like you could find it?” Cassandra asked, pausing only to send a swift kick your way. A grunt escapes you, leaves you coughing, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as hitting the wall. Despite wanting to curl up and give in, you tried to drag yourself to your feet. Surprisingly, Cassandra makes no move to stop you, perhaps enjoying the sight of you struggling.

“Lady… Daniela… gave me permission,” you said between painful breaths. By the time you’re back on your feet, the vampire before you is watching you with narrowed, albeit curious, eyes. Normally it would take a lot of courage to face her. But you’re exhausted, in pain, and you’ve taken nearly as much hurt from someone who called themselves your lover. It’s not brave to stare down Cassandra, it’s foolhardy. It’s idiotic, really, and yet you find yourself unable to care. “I’m just looking for a couple piano books I’ve been told about, so I can use them to help teach Lady Daniela.”

“Oh? You’re her instructor?” Cassandra asked, a strange smile overtaking her expression. Something in the atmosphere has shifted, dangerously, but you can’t figure out why. Clueless to your self-betrayal, you nod in response. Instantly Cassandra’s smile turns into an open-lipped snarl, and she reaches out to grab you by the shirt, this time slamming you into the wall with her own hands. “Then you’re the reason she kept me up yesterday, crying non stop! I’m going to rip you apart, you vermin.”

The look in her eyes is, most definitely, the scariest thing you had ever seen. It’s feral, inhuman, and unstoppably determined. But when tears fall from your eyes, it’s not because you know you’re about to die. No, it’s because the last thing you think you’ll ever hear is the news that your partner had been sobbing for hours… and that you were the reason why. Your heart aches, both physically and emotionally, as you brace yourself for the bloody end.

Instead, the grip on your clothes loosens. You don’t dare open your eyes to see why.

“What the fuck do you want, sis?” Cassandra asked, sounding like she had turned her head away from you. Before you know it you’ve been let go, and you slide to the ground, too surprised to hold yourself steady. When you look up, you see an irritated Bela pulling Cassandra away from you, whispering something you can’t quite hear. They argue for a minute, under their breath, keen on keeping you out of the loop. Eventually the younger of the two storms away, but not before making a dent in the wall with her fist.

“What a child,” Bela said, rolling her eyes at the display. Then she’s walking back towards you, extending a hand in an offer of assistance (one you gladly accept). “That girl has the foresight of a magic eight ball, I swear. If she had actually killed you… ugh, I can hardly stand to imagine how inconsolable Daniela would become. Then I’d have two insufferable sisters. Regardless, do tell me why you thought it would be a good idea to come up here unaccompanied? It is normally off limits for servants, after all.”

“I-I, well… I mean, firstly thank you for saving me, I had no idea-” Bela holds a finger up in a ‘shut up’ motion, then puts it away as soon as you pause- “right, you don’t care. Look, I was just trying to find the piano books that Lady Dimitrescu mentioned, but I’ve looked all over and I can’t find them, so I should really just go,” you explain, eager to get out of the attic. To your surprise, Bela gives you an odd look before turning away. Then she takes no more than five steps, shifts to the side, and opens an old cabinet. Inside you can see a dozen books of sheet music, notably from several different decades, all worn but still in decent condition. “How did-?... I thought I checked there.”

“Well, you must have been distracted. Nonetheless, you know where they are now, and you owe me twice over. With that in mind… come with me. We have things to discuss,” Bela commanded, walking away before you could protest. All you can do is grab the sheet music, tuck it under one arm, and follow her to who-knows-where.

-----------------------------------------

“I’ll have to have you make my tea more often,” Bela mused, letting the mug keep her hands warm. The two of you were sitting in some sort of study, a room that you had never been inside before. From what you could tell it belonged solely to the eldest Dimitrescu daughter. Inside were several shelves, each filled with well bookmarked collections, a desk next to a massive window, a couple simple chairs, and a few instrument cases. All in all it was an aesthetically pleasing room, organized but not exactly neat. You could certainly imagine Bela spending entire days in this chamber. “Now, why do you think I brought you here?” Her voice brings your focus back into the present moment, as well as sends a spike of anxiety through you.

“Based on what nearly got me killed earlier… Does it have to do with Daniela crying?” You asked, doing your best to indicate just how bad you felt about the subject. No matter how cruel she could be, you did honestly care about Daniela, and even wanted a real, healthy relationship with her. Desire, or willingness, wasn’t the root of the problem by any means. Something told you that Bela understood this, maybe even respected you for it.

“Guess there’s more in that pretty head of yours than air and symphonies, hmm?” Bela replied, laughing a little as she did. It was a far nicer sound than Cassandra’s maniacal giggling, for sure. “Now, I don’t know all the details about what happened- just that there was an argument, clearly a bad one, and Daniela barely made it through dinner before locking herself in her room. Luckily for you, our mother doesn’t seem to know about your little ‘fight’. She’s not sure what upset Dani, and I doubt my sister would tell her, so your secret is safe. Assuming that I blackmailed Cassandra well enough, that is. Anyway, I can’t help you, and by extension my sister, if I don’t know the full story. In case it wasn’t clear, that’s your cue to start talking.”

You’re surprised, admittedly, by a number of things. But Bela seems impatient, so you go over the details of the previous night with her, occasionally pausing to let her ask questions. The whole time her focus is on you, unwavering. There’s also a noticeable lack of judgement in her expression, even when you voice your regret about how you handled the situation, and what is there seems directed more towards Daniela than yourself. Once you finish, Bela releases a deep sigh. One of her hands goes to rub her forehead as if warding off a migraine.

“Well, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised, as much as I wish I could. Daniela’s always had her head in the clouds, and it’s left her tripping over her own feet more than once. Still, this is certainly one of her bigger messes…” Bela said, shaking her head in disbelief. “I’m going to have to talk to her about this, aren’t I? There’s no way she’s going to process this correctly on her own.” This time she seemed to be talking to herself, gaze locked on her tea as if it might suddenly offer to speak to Daniela in her place. When the tea stayed silent, understandably, she returned her focus to you. “You seemed upset, earlier, about this ridiculous situation. I am going to assume, from that, you are genuinely interested in my dear sister. Normally, this would be the part where I drain you of all blood, and possibly keep your skull as a memento... mori. Yours would look lovely on a window sill, I think.”

She pauses, head tilting a little to the side, clearly evaluating your artistic value.

“However, Daniela appears to care about you, far more than her usual fleeting infatuations. So, for now, I have decided not to eviscerate you, you’re welcome,” Bela cooed, teasingly, enjoying the way you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Still, you were glad that you would apparently be surviving the day. “So I’m going to give you some advice, which you will take, and you won’t even owe me anything extra for this. Daniela is in love with the mere concept of love- and she has been for as long as I can remember. Romance novels are practically the only books she reads. It’s… embarrassing, truly. More than that, I get the impression that she couldn’t even begin to describe what love actually feels like. She’s digested so much of that written drivel that it warped her senses. Of course, the, ahem, situation we find ourselves in, here at the castle, has undoubtedly added to this effect.

“To get to the point, Daniela’s terribly, hopelessly clueless when it comes to things like what she wants from you. And so I take it upon myself, as her older sibling, to ensure that you understand. Moreso, that you are not dissuaded. If this is an actual chance for her to experience real romance, then it could make her happier than I’ve ever seen her,” Bela explained. The look in her eyes was incredibly soft, to the point where it made you realize just how much this odd little family cared for each other. “Don’t give up, don’t let her occasional infuriating antics push you away. Given enough time… I think the two of you could, I suppose, compliment each other quite nicely. But if you break her heart? I will pull yours from your chest and eat it raw. Understood?” Gulping, you nodded quickly, ignoring the feeling of heat rushing to your cheeks. It was one thing for Bela to want her sister to be happy, but another thing entirely for her to acknowledge your “suitability” for the position. “Good. Now return to whatever it is you maidens normally do. I have a sister to talk sense into.”

-----------------------------------------

Hours later, you stand alone in a display room, dusting various relics from bygone times. A trophy here, a bizarre art piece there, strange, unlabeled tools you can’t quite imagine are for wine-making. It’s a fascinating collection, really. But your mind is focused on other, far softer things. All you can think about is what Bela had told you, about how Daniela really is interested in you, and how she thought the two of you could make it work. After the chaos earlier in the day, this was exactly what you needed. Just some time to yourself, working quietly, thoughts all to yourself. Even your bruises bother you less, the pain fading out into the background. Considering where you are, though, it is not at all surprising that your peace cannot last. As soon as you finish your task you move towards the exit.

The door swings open, outwards, at your touch, only to reveal a familiar figure reaching for the doorknob. Both of you gasp, taken by surprise, before your gazes meet. Of course it’s Daniela. Who else would you bump into right now?

“I thought about what you said,” she blurts, suddenly, eyes wide and hands shaking. “We need to talk, yeah?”

[voidaus]

Grocery Shopping

Summary: You have recently been diagnosed with depression and have barely left your bed since. Essentially needing groceries, you go shopping, when you come across a man in the store. Is he having a panic attack?! You quickly get him out of the crowds and try to calm him down.

Genre: Fluff?

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of mental illness

Requested? No

Word count: 1000

You have avoided going shopping for the past 2 months, but you know you can't live off of takeout much longer. After you've officially been diagnosed with depression, all you're doing is lay in bed. Not even sleeping most of the time. Although you are tired, sleep just doesn't seem to come.

If you're not in your bed, you're either on the couch or in the bathroom. in the past two weeks, you have rewatched Death note, finished Naruto, and seen approximately 6 movies. All of that cuddled up with your cat, Nina, and a soft blanket.

Slowly getting out of the comforts of your warm duvet, you stand up and walk to your closet. You pick out some loose sweatpants and a hoodie, not really caring that it's abnormally hot outside. After hastily grabbing your phone and wallet, you put on your shoes and hop outside, The sunlight hitting your skin for the first time in weeks, freshening you up a tad. It's about a 5-minute stroll to the nearest bus stop, but you should be there a little sooner with the fresh energy granted to you by the scent of nature.

After the bus ride, you walk in the direction of the grocery store, immediately growing uncomfortable by the number of people surrounding you. You fiddle with the paws of your sweater and try to calm your breathing. The distressing situation would be even worse if you'd have a panic attack right now.

After a short walk, you arrive at the store. You put your mask up again, Both on my mouth and my entire face. Another reason why you don't like to go outside or meet up with people is the fact that you would always have to keep your mask up the entire time. It's hard, always having to think about doing the right things and making the right actions. People would ask what's wrong if you didn't smile, and that became exhausting very quick. Soon you just didn't go out at all anymore.

The store is less busy than usual, which isn't weird considering the fact that it's 6 PM right now, but there are still too many people for your liking. There are sweaty people all around you, making you even more uncomfortable. You grab a cart and pull out your list, trying to locate the first item. When only 10 minutes of sheer torture have passed inside of the store, a man catches your eye. He has a mop of dark curls on his head, and he's wearing baggy black clothes. What really stands out about this man is his mask. It's dark purple and not only covering the lower half of his face but also the left side is covered, exposing not more than one quarter of eye, forehead, and hair.

Your admiration for his appearance soon turns into concern when you see his hands shaking. He's rapidly tapping his foot while standing in the corner of the cold aisle. You recognize his movements, knowing them all too well yourself. "shit, I think he's having an anxiety attack!" you mutter under your breath, not quite sure if you should help or not. You see people give him weird looks, which you know, isn't helping at all. Deciding to do so, you walk up to the man, who's clearly in distress and isn't noticing you. "Hey, are you okay?". He shakes his head vigorously and you mutter a quick okay. Here up close you notice his breathing growing heavier by the second.

Pushing your cart away, you slowly reach out to the shaking man, as if asking if it's okay to touch him. He doesn't react so you grab his arm with a soft grip, slightly pulling him in your direction. He understands rather quickly and follows you at a hasty pace to the exit. Being outside of the shop probably helped him a lot, but you know that that isn't enough, so you keep walking.

Once at a peaceful spot in the park, you let go of him. His breathing picks up again at the absence of your hand on his sleeve. you instantly realize it and put both of your hands on the side of his shoulders, maybe being the only thing keeping him standing up at this point.

"I know it's hard, but try to match my breathing okay?" you look him in the eyes. His eyes are full of panic as he hastily nods. you exaggerate your breathing making it extra noticeable and massage his arms in comfort. After a while, his breathing seems to calm down, a small smile forming on your lips.

You begin to say something when he pulls you into a tight hug. Being caught off guard, you don't really return his hug at first before quickly embracing the taller man back. "thank you" His voice is barely audible. The raspiness making you think that he must not have talked in days. You had barely heard him, but you did. His voice is low, but soft at the same time. It's just really unique and that's what makes you like it even more.

"It's no problem. besides, I know how much panic attacks suck." You're both still holding the embrace. He's scared to let go. Scared he'll break.

You're scared of the feeling when he'd be gone. Right now you feel warm inside, which is a feeling that's been absent for way too long.

He nuzzles his head into your neck a little further and you giggle. This all seems so familiar. It seems so right. There is no tension or awkwardness around and you both just stay there for a while. Corpse enjoys the touch of this girl. He's never met her, hell, he's never even seen her before, but this moment... This moment with her causes him to feel like he's known her forever. It's a pleasant, warm feeling. Is this what people mean when they say a person can feel like home?

Hey guys! This is my second fic, hope you liked it! If you have feedback or comments, I really appreciate them. Also, we got over a 100 hearts on my first fic! Thank you so much, I never imagined I coud've reached that, so thank you.

Question, Should I make this a series??

The taglist is open and so are my requests :) take care!

@persephone-sideblog

[missymurphy1985]

Miracles (sequel to Reminiscing)

You'd been trying for a baby with Cillian for over a year now without success - he isn't getting any younger... What's next for the two of you?

Taglist:

@being-worthy @peakyscillian @queenshelby @noctvrnalmoth @margoo0 @janelongxox

"Baby it'll happen when it happens..." Cillian soothed your tears as he held you on the bedroom floor. Your period had just arrived, which meant only one thing. No baby. You'd been trying now for nearly 15 months and nothing but negative pregnancy tests and more sanitary products. You'd tried changing your diets.. you'd both cut out alcohol and caffeine.. but nothing.

"What if it doesn't, Cill? What if it never happens?" You dried your tears on the sleeve of your t shirt and sank into his arms.

"Let's book in with that fertility doctor yeah? Get some tests run, find out what's stopping us having a baby?" He lifted you back to kiss you. You nodded, reluctantly. You were dreading this.. what if you were the problem? Clearly Cillian was fine, he had the two boys.. if you weren't able to give him a baby you'd never forgive yourself.. would he even stay with you? The baby had been his idea... The thought alone made you feel sick.

"How about a weekend away? Just you and me, we'll head to Kerry and just relax for a few days?" You smiled. He always knew how to make you feel better. Nodding your head, he pulled you up from the floor and held you close. "Let's just get away from it all - no more talk of babies, just us, agreed?"

"Okay.. agreed."

The following day you woke feeling sore and achy. Your lower back feeling like you'd been kicked by a horse. Grimacing slightly, you lifted yourself out of bed to the kitchen where Cillian was making coffee.

"Hey, you okay?" He saw you limping slightly.

"Yeah, must've slept funny, my back is so sore!"

"Why don't you go lie down, I'll bring your coffee through?"

"I need to get ready, I'm meeting Lisa for a coffee this afternoon."

"I'm sure she'll understand if you're not feeling great y/n?"

"It's just a bit of back pain, I'll be fine once I've stretched it out. Don't worry," you smiled, kissing his lips and taking the decaf coffee from him. You pulled away suddenly as a sharp pain suddenly washed over your lower abdomen.

"And now we have period pain too... Wonderful..." You felt your eyes watering at the harsh reminder that you weren't pregnant and Cillian pulled you into his arms again.

"I'll call Lisa, go get back in bed." You rolled your eyes in annoyance. "I'm not asking, y/n." Feeling irritated, you made your way back upstairs and got under the covers. Cillian joining you shortly after with a hot water bottle, glass of water and some paracetamol. You took the tablets and Cillian placed the water bottle on your lower belly, before climbing in behind you and holding you close. He could feel your body tense every now and again.

"Hey, you okay?" He rubbed a hand up and down your arm to soothe you.

"My back keeps spasming babe, must've really done a number on it.." he pulled back from you slightly and ran a hand over your lower back trying to soothe it. He could feel the spasms as they came off and on every few minutes, the worry growing in his stomach. You were normally so fit, working out in your basement gym downstairs three times a week, yoga every Saturday.. pulling a muscle sleeping didn't sound likely to him.

You felt yourself drifting off to sleep as Cillian's hands massaged your lower back. The heat from the hot water bottle easing the cramps in your tummy.

You woke a few hours later to a white hot pain across your stomach and you cried out, clutching your belly. The pressure in your stomach was so intense you called out.

"Cillian!! Baby you there??" No answer. You reached for your phone on the bedside table and called him.

"Hey, you're awake -"

"Cillian come home.. please it hurts!!!" You heard the car screech to a halt.

"What hurts? Baby where are you? I'm on my way, 10 minutes okay?"

"Please... God it hurts!!!" Cillian stayed on the phone but you heard him talking to his sister in the passenger seat.

"Orla, call an ambulance, you're gonna have to come with me. Y/n stay on the phone until I get there baby okay?" You were panting now, the pain was unbearable. You could hear Cillian swearing at other cars, he must've been driving like a maniac... You didn't care, you just needed him now.. Orla was talking now, she must've been on the phone to the ambulance service, you heard her give them your address before you screamed as another white hot pain shot across your belly.

Panting through the pain, you felt the pressure in your pelvis start to increase in intensity. You pulled yourself to your feet slowly, and made your way to the bathroom. You were sweating from every where, your temperature soaring to new heights. You pulled your underwear down and sat on the toilet, convinced whatever it was you'd eaten that was causing this was about to make a dramatic exit. In that moment you heard Cillian and Orla burst into the bedroom, Cillian making his way into the bathroom to you. You didn't even feel embarrassed that you were sat on the toilet you were just grateful that he was there.

"It hurts so bad Cill... Please make it stop!!!!" You screamed, as a sudden need to push took over you. Cillian was frozen in panic, completely helpless, he didn't know what to do. Orla suddenly took charge, pushing Cillian to the side to check you over. You stood up slightly, your body taking over completely.

"Holy shit..... y/n lie down on the floor, come on... Cillian, get a fucking towel!!" Orla guided you slowly to the bathroom floor and opened your legs, Cillian quickly grabbing a towel that she placed under your hips.

"Fuck... Okay y/n look at me.. you're going to feel a need to push and I need you go with it okay? Just breathe... You're gonna be fine.."

"The fuck is happening Orla??" You screamed.

"You having a baby y/n.. right now.. Cillian get that end and hold her.. Get your shit together y/n and push!!" Cillian didn't have time to react before Orla pulled him to sit behind you holding you, your back to his chest as you gripped his hands and bore down as hard as you could. There was no time to think about anything else. The pain was like nothing you'd felt before in your life. Cillian breathed with you, grimacing slightly as his knuckles were being gripped like a vice but focusing his attention on getting you through this.

Within seconds the paramedics had arrived through the door Cillian had left open downstairs and taken over from Orla, giving you a mouthpiece to breathe into.

"Gas and air babe, it'll help, just breathe in and out okay?" Cillian whispered in your ear as you did as you were told and instantly felt the pain subside slightly. One paramedic was between your legs, the other radioing the hospital to let them know what was happening and to expect a mum and baby imminently.

The room was filled with the sound of a baby's cry. You heard Orla burst into tears, whilst you and Cillian were still too in shock to fully process what was happening. The paramedics offered Cillian a pair of surgical scissors to cut the cord, before placing the tiny baby girl in your arms. At that moment you both cried, looking down at the tiny bundle who was starting to settle, searching for your breast. You instinctively fed her, and Cillian gently stroked her head.

"Where the hell were you hiding her??" You looked up at him and laughed.

"I was about to ask you, when did you put her in there?!"

************************************

Opening your eyes, you felt hands roaming over your body as you lay in bed pretending you were still asleep. Those hands knew you better though and teased between your legs making your body shudder.

"I reckon we've got 10minutes before the 'threenager' wakes up... You'd better make this quick Cillian..." You turned onto your side and opened your legs inviting his now rock hard cock to rest between them. His fingers skilfully toying your clit making you moan softly. Easing himself inside from behind you, he began thrusting slowly. The only position available to you, your swollen belly now too large for any other.

"Fuck.. y/n.. still so tight..." You arched your back into his thrusts from behind you, both of you knowing this could be the last time before you had your new baby, due any time now. This pregnancy being much less of a shock than the first - you found out about 7 weeks in and you'd blossomed quickly. You'd loved feeling the little kicks, seeing your baby on the monitors at your scans, choosing names... You'd experienced it all and had relished every single second of it, making up for missing the first one's milestones.

"This really isn't going to last long.. you feel too good... Full of my child..."

"Cill keep talking to me.. I'm close..."

"Watching your body grow... Fuck you have no idea what that's done to me.."

Your hips rocked back against him almost frantically, his fingers still pressing on that bundle of nerves drawing your orgasm even closer. Before long you came hard against him, muffling your cries into the pillow so as not to wake your daughter in the next room. He followed not long after, spilling deep inside you.

Kissing your shoulder he pulled out, running his hands over your belly again and holding you close. A sudden giggle of your daughter emitting from the doorway.

"Mama!! What was Daddy doing behind you?" You pulled the duvet over you and Cillian helped you into a sitting position, your daughter climbing in-between you.

"Ready for some breakfast Niamh?" Cillian said as he booped his daughters nose and she moved to bite him playfully.

"Baby?" She pointed to your belly.

"Not yet little lady, soon though we promise." Cillian climbed out of bed and pulled his jeans on, picking the little girl up in his arms he playfully swung her over his shoulder, her legs in the air. You laughed watching Cillian bounce her over his shoulder, blowing raspberries into her waist making her squirm and giggle. Feeling another twinge in your lower abdomen you smiled.

"Maybe sooner rather than later Niamh, I think it might be time for that sleepover at Aunty Orla's house!"

The look of shock in Cillian's eyes made you laugh. "They do say it speeds things along Cill, don't look so surprised," you winced as he called his sister.

"You ready for this?" He kissed your head as he dialled the number.

"Definitely more ready than last time!" You laughed and tweaked your daughter's nose. "Let's get your bag shall we little lady?"

"No you don't, you stay there. I'll sort her out and Orla will come pick her up. You feeling okay?"

"Yep - I'm okay, they're not too bad for now. Her bag's on the hook behind her bedroom door already packed. My bag is in the closet downstairs ready. Just need to call the midwife and we're grand okay?"

"Love you... So much..." He kissed you gently and called Orla to come pick Niamh up. Your heart felt completely full and you couldn't wait to meet your latest addition.

[tomurasprincess]

Villain Deku with 12. I’m so happy you finally wanted to take a picture with me! They can go right next to all of the ones of you sleeping.

Pairing: Villain Deku x Reader Quote: I’m so happy you finally wanted to take a picture with me! They can go right next to all of the ones of you sleeping. Word: Stalking Warnings: Noncon, drugging, stalking, manipulation, yandere

Prompt Masterlist

You smile at the green haired man in front of you as he orders his usual, a plain black cup of coffee. You’ve been a barista here for several months now, and the man has become one of your regular customers. Although somewhat shy and awkward, he is friendly and pleasant to talk to, and you have come to really look forward to his visits.

He gives you a small smile back as he reaches for a sugar packet, but otherwise makes no comment to you. You mentally frown at this, as he’s usually so overflowing with conversation that you can barely keep up.

“Hey, are you doing okay,” you venture to ask the question that’s making you worry for him a bit.

He perks up at the comment, eyes lighting up at your concern. “I’m okay, really! Just some problems with work.”

“Oh really? What work do you do?” Even though he’s a regular, coming in at the same time every day for weeks, you don’t really know a lot about him. You’re excited to finally have an opportunity to learn a bit more.

His gaze darkens just a bit, his smile fading slightly, so subtle that you’re not even sure you saw it. But then he’s back to normal and you realize that you must have imagined it. You’ve been a bit on edge lately, constantly feeling as if someone has been watching you. You’ve considered going to the police, but ultimately decided that they wouldn’t take you seriously.

“Oh, I run my own business. Things have been crazy lately, but I think I finally got them settled down. Now I have time to focus on my more personal projects.” He chuckles at that as he glances at you.

“I’m glad to hear that!” You smile at him before turning back to your work, beginning the long process of ending your shift. The man had shown up much later than usual, and it was almost closing time. At his questioning look, you explain yourself. “Oh, I have to get ready to close up the store. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t mean to walk back to your place in the dark, do you?” His face twists into a look of worry. “There are a lot of villains in the streets lately.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I walk home at this hour all the time. I’ll be fine,” you wave him off.

“No, I insist. I need to walk you home.” You’re surprised at the change in his tone. He suddenly sounds completely in control, no hint of the awkward man who sometimes stumbles over his sentences and mumbles to himself.

“I - I guess if it’s that important to you.” You suddenly didn’t feel comfortable at the idea of walking alone in the dark with him. Something was rubbing you the wrong way, and you weren’t sure what. But you had no reason to decline, and the man in front of you didn’t look threatening at all. So you accept the invitation. It might be nice to have company on your walk home, anyway. Maybe you’ll feel less like someone is following your every move.

“Good! I’d hate for you to get snatched up by some villain,” his bright smile turns slightly sharp. Dangerous looking. It’s enough to make you reconsider, but the man seems to notice your hesitation as he begins to rush you through your closing procedures of the store. He grabs your arm, not enough to harm you or bruise you, but hard enough that you couldn’t begin to get away.

As he almost drags you out of the store, you decide to make conversation to try and calm your nerves. “I’m sorry, I’ve been really rude. What’s your name?”

“You can call me Deku,” he chirps happily. The name strikes you as odd, somehow familiar. You can’t quite place it, no matter how hard you try.

You open your mouth to tell him your own name, but he cuts you off mid sentence. “You don’t have to tell me your name, I already know it.”

You freeze in place, mind running through so many scenarios of how he could know your name. “Don’t be nervous! It’s on your name tag.”

You relax just a bit, as you try to avoid thinking about how you lost your name tag several months ago and were never able to find it. Something is wrong about this man, and you know you made a mistake following him. You just want to get safely into your apartment, away from him, until you can figure out what to do.

But then it hits you. Your apartment. You never gave him directions to your apartment, and yet he’s following the exact path you take to get there, turn for turn. You’re unable to hide your panic now, mouth opening to scream for help. But you never have the chance.

A scarred hand clamps down on your mouth as he drags you into a nearby alleyway. He gives a long suffering sigh at you as you struggle to break free. You feel something cold press into your throat as he grins down at you, and you realize it’s a knife. “You just couldn’t behave a little longer, could you? It’s okay though! I have no problem doing this here.”

“Please stop, I don’t have anything you want,” you whimper in fear. The knife gently glides down your neck, pressure firm enough that you can feel it but not enough to cut. He pauses as he traces your collarbones with the weapon, and hums as if he just thought of something. “You know, I’ve always wanted a picture of you since the first day I met you.”

Your haste to get out of this situation overpowers how strange the request is, and you find yourself babbling your agreement. “Yes, you can have a picture of me, I don’t mind! Just please, let me go home.”

He laughs at that as a hand dips down into your pants. “Oh, that’s not all that I want.” He wastes no time sliding a finger in between your folds as he grazes your clit. He works tight circles against the bud, moaning into your ear as he begins to kiss and suck at the pulse point on your neck.

“I’ve wanted you for so long.” he murmurs in your ear. “But I’ve been so busy running my organization that I just didn’t have the time. Had to content myself with watching you from afar. Until now.”

It suddenly hits you like a bolt of lightning, where you heard his name. Izuku Midoriya, the fallen hero. He graduated from UA at the top of his class, was even expected to take All Might’s place as the Symbol of Peace. But he vanished without a trace. There had been rumors that he was sighted in areas of heavy villain activity, but they were dismissed as just that. Rumors. There was no way anyone chosen by All Might could go villain, after all.

And yet the proof stands pressed against you, fingers rubbing your throbbing clit as he bites and sucks at the skin of your neck. You can feel yourself getting aroused, lubricating his talented fingers with your juices. He gathers it on his fingers as he presses two of them inside of you, rubbing the bundle of nerves with the palm of his hand.

“No, oh god, please stop,” you plead with him. “Deku, just let me go, I promise I won’t - ahh - tell anyone I saw you.” You let out an involuntary groan as he thrusts his fingers inside of you, grazing your g spot with every thrust and making you see stars. You hate that you’re getting so aroused by him finger fucking you.

“Oh, did you finally figure out who I am?” He chuckles as he presses the point of his knife into your skin, barely grazing you but still causing your blood to drip down your collarbones. He eagerly laps at the blood as his fingers pick up the pace. You feel the coil inside of you tightening and realize you’re about to cum. “Deku, shit, oh god please.”

“Shh, just cum for me doll. Cum all over my fingers.” He coaxes you into an intense orgasm, causing you to let out a squeal as your walls clamp down hard around his fingers. You’re still riding the high of your climax when a slightly wet rag is placed over your mouth. Your eyes widen as you try not to breath in, but it’s too late. You inhale one sharp breath and your system is instantly being flooded with the clothform.

The effects are quick, too quick, as you feel yourself dragged down into unconsciousness. Your head feels like it’s in a fishbowl as you hear the click of a camera and Deku’s delighted laughter. “I’m so happy you finally wanted to take a picture with me! They can go right next to all of the ones of you sleeping!”

But before you completely pass out, you have the chance to think one last thing.

You really should have trusted your instincts.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Tags: @thewheezingwyvern, @animewh0re, @monst, @lildreamer93, @marlowewrites, @redbeanteax, @kittygonyan, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @daedaep69, @heyybrittannia, @groovydreamertrash, @hisoknen, @chou-maitresse, @shoutogepi, @togasknifes, @kingtamakimurder, @league-of-thots, @shigaraki-is-my-master

[zv5x]

I'm curious, if Reader died or got knocked out in last fic with Poly!Spirit and Sen-

Reader is alive, just passed out from pain! The reason it happened so quick and without much effort from Spirit is cause, you know, demon powers. I know this isn't a request for a part two and was just a simple question buttttttt I'm extra as fuck and I wanted to do one anyways, so I'll just get it over with here! Hope you all enjoy!

Request status : open! 💕

tw !!! Be careful guys, Senpai goes a little crazy in this one lolz

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

Spirit couldn't help but feel a great deal of pity as he glanced over at Senpai. The look of fear and uneasiness on his face was clear as day, and he nervously played with his loose-fitting tie as he stared at (Y/N) who was unconscious on the bed. Chains held their arms and legs to the bedposts, so there was no chance of escaping.

Spirit hummed, giving (Y/N) an empathetic pat on the leg, before choosing to address Senpai. "I know this isn't the sight you wanted to come home to, but-"

"W-what happened to them? D-did someone hurt them?!" Senpai managed to sputter out, despite the fear eating his body alive. Spirit sighed, as he couldn't help but become slightly irritated as soon as Senpai lost his cool like he was now. Nothing could get done when you're overrun by panic, but he was glad he was at least there to keep everything together. "Did they..." Senpai paused for a second, his past fear slowly draining from his face, replacing it was an expression that even Spirit couldn't fully read. "Did they try something funny again...?" Senpai asked in a low tone, and Spirit made a small noise as his response. The room was consumed by silence for a few moments, before Spirit decided to answer his question for real.

"I suppose you could say that." He said calmly and quietly, not really caring to expose the whole truth of what (Y/N) had done just yet. If Senpai asked for clarification or specification, then he would absolutely tell him, but he just didn't see it as needed at the moment. Senpai groaned in annoyance, stomping on the floor a single time. Spirit only rolled his eyes.

He didn't even bother to take his eyes off of (Y/N)'s "sleeping" form as Senpai made his way towards the two of them, stopping in front of the bed and crossing his arms. "What did they do?" Senpai asked quietly, almost in a whisper, in a tone that implied that maybe he didn't even want to know, but was just simply curious. Spirit shrugged.

"It was nothing too painful, just a punch to the nose. It didn't even hurt for a minute, really." Senpai looked at the entity standing next to him in a mixture of shock and disgust, absolutely baffled by the fact that their darling (Y/N) would ever do something like to that to either of them. He just didn't get it, and frankly, neither did Spirit. Really, they were just trying to help, but their (Y/N) just wasn't listening. It made things so much more tedious than they needed to be. Senpai growled to himself and made his way onto the bed. Spirit looked on in confusion, arching an eyebrow as he watched Senpai set himself down on (Y/N)'s chest, straddling it. He adjusted his position slightly, wriggling to make sure he was in the most comfortable position possible, before raising his hand to above the side of his head and bringing it down forcefully and quickly, slapping (Y/N) in the right cheek. Spirit even flinched himself, as the slap was hard enough to make a loud sound on impact.

However, Spirit couldn't feel too bad. He did try warning (Y/N). Senpai would be a lot harsher on them than he ever would be.

(Y/N) gasped as they woke up from their unconsciousness, Senpai glaring down at them as he watched them do so. It took them about a minute for their eyes to fully adjust to everything going on at the moment, especially since what caused them to wake up was so...violent...

"Well...good morning, honey." Senpai said through gritted teeth, and (Y/N) instinctively tried raising their arms, only for them to be held back by the chains. They swore at Senpai and demanded for either him or Spirit to release them, but that did nothing but anger Senpai further.

"You're lucky me and Spirit as so nice to you, if you were acting this bratty towards anyone else, your throat probably would've been sliced..." Senpai snicked sadistically, only for his slight amusement to completely vanish as (Y/N) leaned up towards him and spit in his face.

Senpai stumbled back, instinctively grabbing a tissue off the bedside table and wiping his face quickly and roughly while whining in disgust. Spirit bit his lip and took a step back, fully expecting Senpai to completely lose his shit within the next few seconds. Senpai began to hyperventilate, looking at the tissue with a look of pure distain. Senpai suddenly slammed the tissue to the side and pulled the table drawer open, his eyes set on a certain black rectangle. He pulled it out and held it up so (Y/N) could see it, and their eyes widened with fear and regret, instantly recognizing it as a taser.

"Do ANYTHING like that again, and this is going straight into your neck, understand?! God, how many times do we have to fucking TELL YOU, (Y/N)?!" Senpai screamed, punching the sides of the bed harshly. (Y/N)'s breathing was quick and heavy, the fear on their face as clear as day. Tears pricked at the corners of their eyes as they were reduced to the bearer of Senpai's rage, Spirit standing in calm silence as Senpai yelled on about what they had been trying to tell (Y/N) for almost a year now.

"You're so fucking GULLIBLE! Without us you'd probably be fucking dead on the side of the road! You think you can just go do whatever the fuck you want with whoever, and then treat us like we're fucking disposable trash?! You sick WORM." Senpai went on and on, even at one point grabbing (Y/N)'s shoulders and shaking them harshly. He was pissed, and Spirit saw his anger as justified. "We're doing this all for YOU! We love YOU! We NEED you, and you need US!" Tears began to fall from Senpai's eyes just as (Y/N) began fearfully sobbing as well, but Senpai's tears were more of frustration and anger than crippling fear. "We love you (Y/N), please, we just want to take care of you, you're our everything! Please!" Senpai choked back sobs as (Y/N) continued crying themselves. "Nobody else can love you like we do, they just can't keep you safe like we can, we'd do anything for you, we just want you to be happy..." Senpai sniffled, but (Y/N) didn't respond.

Spirit didn't feel bad for (Y/N). They wouldn't be here right now if (Y/N) would just learn how to listen. They were doing this for love, for repayment for all the effort (Y/N) put into making sure they were alive and well. (Y/N) saved them. Before Spirit knew it, Senpai seemed satisfied with the agressive lecture, and replaced his seething anger and flowing tears with a cutesy giggle and a wipe of the eyes. "You're just so hopeless, (Y/N)...but that's fine, some people just aren't meant to take care of themselves!"

It was almost scary how quickly Senpai could switch between moods, but who was Spirit to judge? Rejection was never in Sen's programming, and he was meant to be a hopeless romantic almost all of the time, so he really couldn't blame Senpai for having...less than stable moods.

"You're so lucky you have us dolly, where would you even be without us?" Senpai gushed, and Spirit couldn't help but agree. The two of them could tell (Y/N) clearly wanted to detest that, but they didn't care. Their input was irrelevant, since they didn't at all know what they wanted or needed.

Senpai hummed happily, curling (Y/N)'s lips upward in the shape of a smile with his finger. The skin of his digits were soaked at this point, as tears were pooling from (Y/N)'s eyes as they tried squirming away so desperately from his vice grip. Spirit cupped his one cheek with his hand and held (Y/N)'s trembling one in his other, smiling almost as brightly as Senpai.

They deserved this. They deserved something nice after that that bastard put them through. And, this was it. Their present, their compensation, their reward.

Their soulmate.

Senpai giggled, and Spirit followed soon after, the two of them looking at each other as if they were reading the others thoughts perfectly. Senpai turned to (Y/N), that smile still just as strong as it was before.

"Now, go on...tell us you love us~"

[nowoyas]

This is Home (NSFW)

A/N: Title references the song This is Home by Cavetown, which you can’t tell me isn’t an entire trans mood. Give it a listen, y’all. It’s one of my faves <3

This fic is part of @birds-have-teeth​‘s Izumonth collab to celebrate Izuku’s birth month. For the lineup, head over here!

(izuku with binder edit and overall banner both made by me)

Summary: When your boyfriend starts distancing himself not long into your relationship, you decide to confront him and remind him just how loved he is. (trans!Izuku x reader)

Notes: Izuku is a pre-op, pre-T trans man for this fic. Reader is implied to be a cis girl. I am trans. In this fic, I am writing Izuku experiencing something I have and do struggle with and I swear to god if anyone clowns in my inbox because I wrote this I will literally fling them out the window, killing them instantly. Not on this one, assholes.

Warnings: smut, oral (reader giving), gender dysphoria, smut smut smut, I cried but you might not

Word count: 5555 (sexy)

Izuku has been avoiding you.

It's not obvious, not at first. Your honestly wonderful boyfriend is more than happy to text you good morning and good night as always, even on the nights where he goes to sleep at 4AM, and it's not as though the amount of cute emoji following the texts has changed. He still eats breakfast with you after his (very early) morning run, still eats lunch with you and your combined friend group, still eats dinner with you whenever he doesn't forget to eat. (You're working on getting him to remember to eat at all the right times.) 

But one-on-one study sessions get cancelled. He now trains seemingly whenever you can't, even though you used to train together all the time. It's all the small things, like how he used to kiss you suddenly all the time whenever it was just the two of you, but now, you're hardly ever alone together often enough even if he still did. And maybe you're imagining it, but the usual sleep and wake texts are less enthusiastic than before. 

You want to believe that maybe the two of you are just progressing from the honeymoon stage of your relationship, but this doesn't feel like progress. 

This feels like distance. 

This feels like he’s afraid to be alone with you.

You don't want to pry, but something's up with him, and you've got an inkling of exactly what. One thing's for certain, though—you're not letting him go another day thinking he can't talk to you about it. Knowing him, no matter what the issue is, he's convinced himself it would bother you for him to ask for reassurance or something to that effect.

And so, perhaps a bit shamelessly, you corner him.

Well, not physically. You're not that mean.

But when you knock on his door when you know he's there alone and he answers, you don't give him a chance to brush you off. You shove your way right into his room and take a seat on the edge of his bed.

"Talk," you demand, crossing your arms as he flusters and shuts the door behind him.

"[n-name], is something wrong—"

"Talk," you repeat, leveling a glare at him. "You've been acting weird around me lately. If it's something you're not comfortable talking about, that's okay, but if I've done something to make you avoid me, I want to talk about it and figure out how to fix it."

Izuku flinches, taking an awkward seat on his bed. (The other end of his bed. You try not to let show just how much that stings.)

"Y-you haven't done anything wrong," he forces out evenly, not looking at you. "I swear."

You shift closer to him, placing a hand over his own. "Izuku, look at me."

Green eyes meet yours. There's guilt there, and an underlying fear with a source you can only guess at.

"I love you, babe. I want to help you. You don't have to let me, but I really—fuck—" You sniff, pulling back to wipe at your eyes before you let any tears fall. "—shit, sorry. I just... I'm worried about you, and I don't want to lose you, y'know?"

He panics, crossing the distance between you within moments to pull you into a tight hug. His hand winds into your hair, the other settling in the small of your back and rubbing soothingly as he shushes you. "No, oh my god, angel, I-I never meant to make you think you did anything wrong. Really, it's not you, it's me!"

Your blood turns to ice in an instant at his words. "T-that's the kind of shit people say when they're explaining why they're breaking up with you, Izuku."

"N-no! That's not—That's not what this is. I love you too, I love you so much, I just... I'm scared, okay?" he admits, face pressed into your neck.

"Scared?"

He nods, hugging you just a smidge tighter. "Yeah. Scared."

"Of what, handsome?" You finally relax into his hold, snuggling into his shoulder with a sigh as you try to rein in the tears.

"It's probably stupid, and it doesn't really matter that much."

"Izuku babe."

"Yes?"

"Did it make you feel something?"

He hesitates before nodding slowly.

"Then it's not stupid, and it matters to me."

Izuku shudders in your arms, mumbling something you don't quite catch.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

He shifts, repeating himself just loud enough to be heard. "I wanna go further with you but I hate my body and don't want to take my clothes off to do it," he says, speaking so quickly you almost miss it a second time.

You freeze, a light blush on your cheeks. It's true that you've not gone that far with Izuku—he always seemed content just to kiss and cuddle and exchange sweet words behind closed doors, and god, you were happy just to have him in any capacity. Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately—there's bigger problems at hand than "your cute boyfriend wants to fuck you". 

"Oh, Izu," you breathe. "You know you don't have to push yourself, baby. It's okay if you're uncomfortable with—"

"B-but I shouldn't be!" he insists, wriggling away to look into your eyes with a pained look. "I don't wanna be uncomfortable. Not with you. I just... don't know how to... how to not be, and I didn't want things to escalate if I got alone with you because then I'd probably panic and push you away and then you'd probably feel hurt a-and it'd be my fault so I was avoiding you so I couldn’t hurt you before I was ready and then–"

"Izuku," you say firmly. "Don't push yourself for my sake. I'd feel awful knowing you did something like that for me. It's okay if we just kiss. It's okay if we never kiss. What's not okay is you forcing yourself into a dysphoric breakdown because you wanted to please me. If we fuck, I want it to be something we both enjoy, and I can't enjoy it if it's upsetting you or making you uncomfortable."

He tears up, yanking you back into a hug. "I'm s-sorry, [name]."

You laugh, tangling your hands in his curls and gently working knots out with your fingers. "You don't need to apologize, baby. I love you. And you know..."

"Mm?"

You smirk, looping a curl around one finger. Perhaps deliberately, your voice drops into a seductive, teasing voice. "If your biggest problem is either of us seeing your body, there's a few solutions. No one said you had to take your clothes off when we fuck, handsome."

He squeaks, and you swear you can feel his face heating up in your shoulder when he whines. He doesn't protest, so you continue, a grin spreading across your face.

"If you don't want me seeing you, you can always blindfold me," you offer, "or we could turn the lights off, or if you don't want to have to see yourself, I could blindfold you..."

"[N-name]!" Izuku yelps, burying his face into your chest to hide. "Stoooop, oh my god–"

Laughter bubbles from your throat. "Sorry, sorry. But those were honest suggestions. If you really wanna mess around with me a bit, I'm happy to let you set the pace. We kiss as much as you want, however heavy you want... Hell, I might even be into it if you order me around a little. Who knows?"

"O-order you?" You don't have to see him to know how red his face is—you can almost feel it through your top, the rush of embarrassment displayed on his freckled cheeks.

"Mhmm. I won't do anything you aren’t explicitly okay with. And the moment you want to stop, you tell me as much, and we can stop. But you know, I'm in love with you no matter what, and that includes your wonderfully strong body and your cute, handsome face. You light up any room you enter and make me want to work hard for my future. It’s not about your body. The fact that you're hot is a bonus, not the selling point."

He sniffles gently. You carefully go back to working through his hair. "But again, no matter how you want this to go, I'm okay with it. Your comfort first, baby."

He pulls out of the hug, worrying his lip between his teeth as he watches you. "If you're really okay with it, then... i-is it okay if I just kiss you, and we feel it out from there?"

You smile softly. "Go ahead, handsome."

Despite all the kisses you've shared before, every new kiss between you is charged with affection. Izuku can't help it if he melts into every kiss you share—your lips are so soft and you smell so nice and he loves you so much! Before he knows it, he's smoothing a palm against the back of your neck and deepening the kiss, moving his lips hesitantly against your own. He parts just enough to murmur against your lips: "I love you" and "tell me if you want me to stop" and "you can touch my arms if you want". (He knows you do. You only confirm it when your fingertips immediately drag along his upper arms, appreciating the muscles there.)

Before he knows it, he's swiping his tongue against your bottom lip tentatively and pulling you into his lap. You've been more than charitable—your hands remain carefully on his arms, your tongue in your own mouth even as he explores yours. You really won't go a step further than he asks for, and his heart swells at the confirmation. When he breaks the kiss, both of you are breathing heavy, a fact which draws extra attention to the fact that he's still wearing his chest binder.

"I-I want to kiss your neck. I-it's okay if you touch me, j-just please not my chest o-or my... Um, you know."

You mock-salute, a comically serious look on your face that clashes with your flushed cheeks. "Yes, sir! No chest, no ass, no between-thighs!"

The smile that pulls at his lips is utterly love-drunk as he leans back in, first pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your lips and trailing tiny pecks along your jawline. When he reaches your neck, he hesitates, and you wait to slide your arms over his shoulders. "Hun?" you say gently. "Still good?"

Green eyes flick up to yours, intense but wavering. "Y-yeah. I can do this."

Without any other warning, he places a hot, open-mouthed kiss directly onto your pulse, drawing a gasp from you when his teeth graze you just enough for you to feel it. Your hands slide down his back to find purchase as he continues, switching between peppering light kisses to your neck and honestly, doing pretty much anything that won't leave a mark.

Meantime, it's all you can do to gasp and whimper as he finds all your soft spots and goes on the full attack, and his hands roam your sides, climbing up until you're sure he's going to grope you–

And then he flinches and pulls back, just slightly. There's a quiet hiss through his teeth at the movement.

You'd love to whine at the loss, and normally, you probably would. But this is Izuku, and if you're going to let him set the pace, you're damn well going to let him set the pace.

You remove your hands from him completely, watching him with concerned eyes. "Everything alright?"

His heart twists at how gentle and concerned you are. One moment, you're huffing and looking at him with nothing but lust as he kisses your neck, the next, your brow's furrowed as you search him for any signs of fear or panic. 

He really doesn't deserve you.

"Do you want to stop?" you ask, voice soft in the way he's seen you use to talk to frightened animals.

He shakes his head, flattening a palm against his chest. "Sorry, sorry. M-my chest is just hurting a little."

"How long have you been binding today?" you ask without missing a beat.

A hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. "I, uh, I took it off during Hero Basic earlier..."

"And had it on all day before?" you ask, hands on your hips. "And all day since then?"

He nods sheepishly, refusing to meet your eyes. 

"Izuku..." You sigh. "I said I wanted you to be comfortable, but I also want you to be safe. Please take your binder off? I can look away while you do, I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I..." Izuku sighs, twiddling his thumbs nervously. "A-actually, could you, um..."

"I can leave the room if it'd make you feel better," you offer.

"N-no! That's not what I meant." He wraps his arms around your waist, refusing to let you leave. "I-I, um, wanted to try..." His face is beet red, and in a panic, he buries his face in your chest to hide his embarrassment. "C-can you help me out of it?" he finally squeaks out.

"Oh, Izu. Of course I can help you." You gently maneuver his face away from your chest, carefully reaching up to work at his tie. "Let me know the second you want me to stop, okay?"

He nods, squeezing his eyes shut. "Okay."

"Would it help if I kissed you while I get your top off?"

After a long moment, he nods, hiding his blushing face in his hands. His hands stay there until you gently pull them away with a soft giggle. "I can't kiss you if you're hiding your perfect face, handsome."

He gives you a wobbly smile, and you pull him towards you with a gentle tug at his tie. You're careful not to push too far as you kiss him—soft, open-mouthed kisses that have him whining as you try furiously to get this damn knot untied. How'd he even manage to get it like this? 

Nevertheless, eventually you do manage to get the knot undone and start working carefully on the buttons of his school shirt. Once you're halfway down, you pull back to murmur a soft "are we still okay?" against his lips.

He responds by crashing his lips back onto yours, a hand roaming up your side until this time, he does actually begin to palm one of your breasts over your shirt. Soon, the other hand joins him in just feeling you, and you can't help but sigh against Izuku's lips.

When you reach the lower buttons, you're careful to not let your hands get too far down as you carefully un-tuck his shirt from his pants. You have to force him to stop massaging your breasts long enough to slide his shirt off his shoulders, stopping to roll your eyes in amusement when you find him wearing an undershirt above the binder. You carefully slide the tank top off, leaving him in just his pants and the colorful All Might-themed chest binder you'd sewn for him shortly after he came out to you. Fingers reach for the zipper tab on the front, but don't close around it just yet. Not when Izuku's breathing quickens the way it does, not when his eyes widen in panic.

"Do you want me to step out while you get out of this and put something else on?"

He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head in silence. "Please just... Wait a minute." You nod, hand slowly retreating as Izuku calms himself. 

"C-can we, um, l-level the playing field a little?" he asks when his breathing is a bit steadier.

You blink in surprise. "In what way, 'Zuku?"

He drapes both arms over his face as he answers in a truthfully adorable squeak. "L-like, um, s-so I'm not the only one t-topless..."

Your smile is fond as you pat his cheek and lean in. "Can I give you a show?" you whisper.

He shivers, nodding almost too excitedly, and you pull away with a little giggle. "Stay right here." You scamper to the door, making doubly sure it's locked, and turn back with a sparkle in your eye. With his full attention on you, you cross back to him and tease at the edge of your shirt. You're slow in your movements, teasing, and his eyes are glued to you, jaw slack as you give him a mini strip-tease. 

Man, it's hard to have low self-esteem with a boyfriend like yours. He drinks in the sight of you like it's the first sight of water he's had in months, adoration and awe and lust and all things positive written plain as day in his expression. When your shirt's properly discarded, you give Izuku a little wink and press a gentle, sweet kiss to his lips. "How are we feeling?"

"Good! G-great! T-this is—yeah. Yeah." His face is flushed, pupils blown. His eyes keep darting between meeting yours and somewhere lower

You quirk a smirk at him, trying not to laugh. "So am I good to unzip you, baby?"

His hands come up to cover his face, green peeking out from between his fingers as he nods. "I-I-I think I'm good."

"You sure? I don't want you to push yourself if you're not comf—"

His hand snatches your wrist, forcing the palm of your hand flat against the center of his chest. You can feel his heart racing beneath your fingertips. "I-if it's you, I can do this. Please."

"Stop me if it gets to be too much, okay?" you hum, carefully pinching the zipper tab and pulling it down slowly. His hand doesn't leave your wrist, but he lets you, exhaling softly when you unzip his binder all the way and free his chest from its confines after a long day.

Izuku panics. Not in the way he feared—he doesn't shove you away, doesn't run, doesn't freeze. But he panics all the same, dragging you into a hot, open-mouthed kiss before you can look at him, before he can see your disgust, before you can make fun of him or change your mind or or or or—

Gentle hands slide the binder off his shoulders with an appreciative hum. You're gentle as you straddle his waist, hands tangling in his hair, and when you go to pull back, he chases your lips. You giggle, trying to pull away to speak, but Izuku's too scared to let you—he almost whines as he continues pressing his lips against yours. 

"Everything good, sweetheart?" you ask as best you can amidst his onslaught.

"No—" slips out from his lips. "—I need you to keep kissing me."

"Hm, I can do that. But tell me if something's wrong, okay?" You punctuate your question with a kiss to his nose. He responds by meeting your lips once more.

He pauses, tugging you into a hug moments after breaking the kiss. "I'm a little scared right now," he admits. "You wouldn't... Hate me for how I look, right?" Tears brim in his eyes and wet his voice as he whispers.

"Never in a million years, Izuku. You're always going to be my handsome, strong boyfriend, until you decide you don't want me around anymore. I love you for who you are, not who you want to be, and I'll tell you as many times as it takes."

His arms shake around you. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too," you whisper, slowly pulling back as he releases you. "Is it okay if I kiss you, baby?"

"We were already kissing," he says, trying not to laugh.

You press a slow, sensual kiss to his neck. "I know," you breathe out in open, hot breaths, delighting in the way he shivers. "I meant... escalating."

"O-oh." His face is red, as if it could ever stop being red, and you break into a grin when he nods sheepishly. "I-if you want..."

"I very much want." You nod quickly, dragging your nails along his upper arms and around to his shoulders. Goosebumps follow in your wake. "If you'll let me, I'd like to show you all the parts I love about you. But first?"

"M-mm?"

"Say 'yellow' if you need me to pause or 'red' if you want us to stop entirely, alright? The moment you want me to stop. If you aren't sure, 'yellow'. Please? I don't want to cross any boundaries with you."

"Safewords. Okay, I-I think I can do that. Yellow to pause or slow down, red to stop." He nods slowly, a determined pout on his face. You grin and shoot him an adoring gaze before returning to his neck, one hand finding his to intertwine your fingers. His hand trembles in your grasp, but when you squeeze his hand to reassure him, he's quick to squeeze back. "Green to keep going?"

You nod.

"Okay. I'm okay."

You're slow and careful as you begin to kiss down his body, trailing along his jaw and each shoulder. The pads of your fingers massage along the lines where the seams of his binder had been digging into his skin, eliciting shivers beneath your fingertips. Intermittently, he squeezes the hand you've kept intertwined with his, letting out shaky gasps when you drag your tongue back up to his neck.

"You're doing so well," you purr. It's hard to keep your free hand in one place–you drag it back up to indulge in the fluffy curls atop his head only a moment before lightly dragging your nails down his spine.

Next, you trail your lips back down to his chest, pausing to toy briefly with his chest as he lets out a cascade of moans. "[N-name]..."

"Mm?" Your eyes meet his innocently as you lathe your tongue over his nipple, your heart skipping at the lusty, adoring look on his face. You release him from your mouth with a small pop!, tilting your head. "Still good?"

"No, come back," he whines, tugging at your hand.

A giggle escapes you. "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

He shudders as you dive back in, switching to take his other nipple into your mouth. With your closest hand still occupied in holding his, you aren't able to play with the side you'd previously been kissing at, but Izuku doesn't seem to mind as he practically pushes his chest into your face with another gasp.

Soon, all too soon, you continue in your journey to kiss every inch of Izuku's body, palming at his chest and placing one soft kiss against a freckle situated just above his heart. You giggle when you feel his pulse jump beneath your lips before moving on, pressing kisses in a line down the center of his chest until you've found soft skin.

Your free hand finds his belt, toying with the buckle as you get off his lap and rest on the floor in front of him. "Color?"

He eyes you warily, running his thumb across your hand in a way that feels more like he's soothing himself than you. He doesn't answer.

"Izuku, I need to know if this is okay. If you don't answer, I'll stop."

"Y-yellow," he admits meekly. "I-I think it's easier if I don't think about it, but I just... I want this to happen but every second I'm reminded of all the ways this could end in you leaving me, a-and..."

You immediately move your hand away at his admission. "Thank you for telling me. You’re overthinking it, hun. I’m not gonna leave you. Can I help you at all?"

"Distract me?" He pouts at you, leaning down for a kiss. He's even so bold as to slip his tongue into your mouth as you fumble with his belt buckle one-handed, his hand smoothing over your shoulder and down your bare back until you finally manage to get his belt unbuckled and his pants unbuttoned. Once he's unzipped, you smooth your hand over the small of his back, sitting up on your knees to press into the kiss.

Getting him out of his pants with one hand is a challenge, but you make it work, leaving him to toe off his socks and sit there in a loose pair of boxers, looking nervous and innocent and adorable but mostly just scared.

Now that you've got him mostly undressed, you can finally move back to your mission of making him feel utterly loved and working away that fear of his, littering his stomach and sides with tiny pecks and nibbles that have him giggling as he tries (and fails) to squirm away from your onslaught.

"Great job so far," you mumble, nuzzling your nose into his side playfully. "You're really brave, 'Zuku."

He gasps for air between his laughter, scarcely gaining enough time to breathe before you finally relent enough to let him catch his breath. "I love you," he pants out when he finally gets a chance to look down at you. "Thank you."

"I love you more~" you practically sing, punctuating your sentence by blowing a puff of air at his stomach. He squirms, trying not to laugh any more than he already has. You reach up, gently caressing his cheek, and he presses into your touch. "Color?"

Izuku gnaws at his lip. His face is flushed, cheeks flaming red as he pants. After a long moment that you can only imagine is filled with thoughts too fast for anyone else to understand if only they could hear, he speaks. "Green."

A single soft kiss as your hand slips beneath his boxers, giving his ass a teasing squeeze before sliding them off his legs. His tongue slips in your mouth and roams freely as your hand caresses his inner thigh, until all that's left for you to do other than tease him relentlessly is go for broke. You break free from the kiss, watching his face with a smile as you drag a single finger up his slit, finding his clit with ease once you dip between the folds.

No anxiety rears its head now. His jaw goes slack, eyes squeezed tight with pleasure as you slowly rub his slit, a red flush crawling from his cheeks and down his neck as he tries not to moan too loudly. "[n-name]~"

"Hm?" you purr, pausing your finger as it circles his dripping heat teasingly. "Do you need to stop, green bean?"

"N-no!" His eyes snap open, shooting you a pleading, desperate look. "P-please, green, I need more—"

You drop to sit on your knees in front of him, gently spreading his legs to sit between them. "If you're sure, baby. Thank you for asking nicely."

The only sound that escapes him when you finally, finally lean forward and dart your tongue between his folds is a drawn-out moan. Instantly, his free hand finds your head, tangling through your hair and pulling you close. You welcome the momentum, slipping your tongue inside him and using your thumb to rub small circles against his clit. He moans and writhes against your mouth, hips bucking so uncontrollably you're half-tempted to wrap your free arm around his waist and hold him down as you work him up. (If he didn't still have his fingers entwined with yours, you probably would.)

When it gets too much and you're running out of air, you pull back, panting and gazing down at him in appreciation as he whines. "[naaaaame], I was so—"

"Shh," you coo, replacing your tongue with two deft fingers. "I just need a sec to breathe. You're doing so well, Izuku."

His walls pulse around your fingers at your words, green eyes shining with tears that almost make you stop completely if not for the fact that he's still trying to fuck himself on your fingers. You curl them experimentally, brushing against a spongy spot inside him that has him keening and thrashing against you. You re-position clumsily, dragging him into a kiss to muffle his noises as you continue to assault his g-spot. It’d be bad if someone heard the two of you, after all.

It's not long after that that you manage to push him over the edge, his pleasured moans spilling into your mouth as his walls flutter around you. A scarred hand squeezes around yours tightly as he manages to babble your name. You pump your fingers into his dripping cunt just a little bit longer, giving him something to ride out his orgasm on until his moaning turns into whimpers and his hips still. You smile softly when, upon trying to pull away to sit in a less awkward position, he pulls you back to kiss you again

You slowly remove your fingers from him, taking the small window he gives you to sit beside him on the bed and kiss the scar on his hand. His shoulders shudder as you pull him into your lap and a tight hug. "You did so well, Izuku," you coo into his ear.

He sniffles and would have launched himself at you if not for the fact that he was already as close as he could get—his arms lock you into place, snuggling into you tightly as he sobs.

"Is everything okay, Izu? What’s got you upset, green bean?" You carefully wipe your fingers on the sheets before beginning to card your fingers through his hair.

"I-I don't—I don't know! I'm sorry, I—"

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay, Izu. You did so well." You begin to pepper his temples in light kisses. 

"I-I always thought that—that I'd never get any of this. That if I ever—ever found someone like you and loved them and they actually loved me, that they'd never... 'cus I'm... f-for a lot of reasons, they wouldn't ever want to do anything like this with me," he babbles, finding every word more difficult to force out than the last. "They'd... they'd get to this point and then they'd realize that this isn't... that I'm not what they want. What they ever wanted. But... this is real. It is, isn't it?"

"It's real, Izuku."

He breaks at that. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you."

You patiently run your fingers through his hair, working through any knots you find and trying not to let yourself cry with him. "It's okay, baby. I love you too."

"I'm sorry," he repeats. Hot tears begin to drop onto your shoulder as he tries to bring himself even closer. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, honey," you insist. "Really."

"I-I never thought I'd be..." He trails off, lets out another sob.

Your heart wrenches, and you smooth your hand over his back. "Loved?"

His silence speaks volumes.

"Oh gosh, Izu." You want to hold him close, to kiss him until he forgets every self-deprecating thought he's ever had. But you're already holding him, already as close as you can get, and genuinely, if you see his face right now, it won't be long before you're also bursting into tears. So you stay there, rubbing circles into his back as you search for the words—any words—to help him understand just how you feel. "You know I love you, right? I said it earlier, and I'll say it as many times as you need me to."

"I love you too," he mumbles, his tears finally beginning to subside. You wriggle your way from him, just enough to press soft kisses to his face.

"I mean it. More than anything, I love you. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being honest with me, and thank you for confiding in me." With every "thank you" and "I love you", you pause to press another kiss to his face. The wrenching in your chest finally subsides when, after the fourth tiny kiss, he lets out a giggle. "Thank you for existing, baby. I'm so fucking glad I met you, and even if we'd never done this, even if we'd never gotten together, I'd still be glad I met you. You're loved, Izuku, and I'll remind you every day, every hour, if you need me to. As often as it takes for you to never question it again."

"Thank you. Sorry."

You laugh, pressing a kiss to his nose. "Stop apologizing. We here at [name], Inc. are of the official opinion that Mister Izuku Midoriya has never done anything wrong, ever, and will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time."

Finally, a proper laugh bubbles from his throat, and he finds it in himself to smile at you—complete, adoring, loving. He even lets himself believe it as the two of you lay down cuddled up to each other. 

As long as he's by your side, he thinks he can continue to believe it. 

He's complete. Adored. Loved.

[98prilla]

Shifted

Thomas decides to see what all the Side’s animal forms would be. It does not go so well for Anxiety. 

This is set pre accepting anxiety, and diverges a little from the cannon of that episode, fair warning.

He is terrified. His heart is pounding as he pulls further back into the shadows, hiding under the couch. He can hear the others out there, talking, laughing, having fun. This isn’t fun.

“An owl? Really, Thomas, owls aren’t even actually smart, their eyes take up much of their cranial cavity.”

“Come on, kiddo, they are symbols of wisdom. And those wings sure must be nifty! I’m having a pawsome time myself!” A groan at the pun.

“I always thought Logan was a bit bird brained.” Roman mutters. “But seriously, a dragon? While the scales are quite flattering, it is a bit strange, considering I usually fight them.”

“I don’t know, Roman, I guess cause you’re always talking about questing I just settled on a fantasy creature. It is pretty cool." He rolls his eyes at the huff of pride he can hear as Roman no doubt puffs up his chest, flares his wings.

“Speaking of strange, where's anxiety?” his ears flatten against his head, pulse picking up again. They’re talking about him.  

“He should be here. I did summon him.” Thomas, confused. He curses his inability to sink out in this form.

“Perhaps he has taken the form of a smaller animal and is hiding.” He almost hisses, could Logic shut up for once?

“Aw, maybe we should look for him! He’ll probably be so cute!”

“Please. That weirdo is probably a venomous spider or a little parasite. Who cares, where he is?” yes, thank you Roman, for once being not a moron.

“Patton, if you’re worried perhaps you can sniff him out. You are a cat, after all.” No. Nonono. Logic, shut it!

“Good idea, Logan. Give it a try!” and he is outta here before he even knows what he’s doing.  

His terror skyrockets and he shoots out from under the couch to the startled yelps of everyone else. Everything is big, huge, compared to him, the living room seems endless.

The stairs, he just needs to get to the stairs and he'll be able to physically enter the mindscape, he’s so close-

Then there is the flap of wings, a victorious shriek, and talons are digging into his shoulders pinning him down.

“Well, what have we here?” He shoves aside his fear, proud as his voice comes out just as scathing and steady as ever.

“Get off, you overgrown lizard.” He bites out, Roman’s scaled head coming into view. He glares at Roman’s laughter.

“Anxiety, kiddo? Is that you?”

“No, its Joan, yes it’s me, Patton, now get off, Roman!” His heart is beating fast, too fast, and his words are wavering. He is afraid, afraid, afraid. He hates this, hates it, he just wants this to be over.

“Hmm. I don’t think I will. Think about it, Thomas. We have the opportunity here to get anxiety out of our way for good.” His stomach drops, his blood goes cold, he is shaking.

“Roman, what are you suggesting?” Logan, he can’t be considering this, please no, please!

“I mean, we don’t need to vanquish him. We can keep him like this. Put him in a cage, or something.”

“I'm not a pet, you idiot, and you can’t keep me like this forever.” He hisses out.

“Oh contraire, little mouse, we can keep you weak enough you don’t have any choice.” His heart lurches as he is lifted up, Roman's wings buffeting him, they are in the air.

“Roman, put me down! I… please! Pleasepleaseplease…” he is crying now, begging, because he can’t, this can’t be happening, they can’t actually intend to keep him locked in this form, weak and powerless, in a cage.  

The floor seems so far away, and he feels sick, from the altitude shift or what is happening or both, he can’t tell. The anguished terror is filling him and he lets out a broken, choked sob.  

This is what he gets, for thinking he could ever be accepted, for thinking he could ever be tolerated, much less liked. All he’d ever done was his job, and this is his reward.

“Logan, what-" he lets out a squeak despite himself as a blur of gray rams into Roman, sending him spiraling off balance.

Then he feels the talon’s grip slip, and he screams. He is falling, flipping through the air. From this height in this form his bones will break, shatter, with his luck his neck will snap. He has time to cry for help, before he impacts.

“Gotcha!” The halt is jarring, and he is shaking, instinctively flattening himself to make as small a target as possible as he tries to get ahold of himself. He realizes it’s soft, the ground.

He looks up and nearly screams again, instead flattening further. Patton has caught him, sitting on his back haunches, he is caught in Patton's front paws.

“p-p-put me d-down. Please.” His voice is a whisper, trembles making him stutter, but Patton instantly complies, much to his relief.

He hears a shriek and looks up, just in time to see silver talons coming right at him, then they crash into him and he feels a ripping pain in his shoulder.  

He can hear Patton yelling, Logan screeching, Roman growling, and it is loud so loud and all he can think is he is about to die-

“Enough!” Thomas yells, and suddenly the ground isn’t so close, suddenly he is stumbling to his feet, lunging for his normal spot on the stairs, reaching it in two strides. He lets out a relieved sob as he clutches the bannister, looking back at the others.

Logan has landed in a heap on the couch. Patton and Roman are tangled around each other on the floor. Patton's gaze meets his, worried.

“kiddo, you’re bleeding.” He lifts his hand numbly to his shoulder, mildly surprised as it comes away sticky and red. He lets out a broken, bitter laugh.

“Gee, wonder how that happened. Not like someone was trying to kill me, or worse hold me captive and torture me for my whole existence." His voice is raw and instead of biting sarcasm, it comes out as an almost whisper, red rimmed eyes glaring at the floor as he shakes, from latent fear and pulsing anger.

“Anxiety-" he half successfully chokes back another sob, harsh laughter tearing at his lungs.

“no, know what, it’s fine. It’s fine, Thomas. I always knew I wasn’t wanted. I was an idiot to hope you might… might ever actually change, actually want me around. Hell, even care about me like I care about you and keeping you safe.” He can barely stand, he doesn’t know if it’s from the pain and blood loss or the adrenaline fading or the panic attack he can feel pressing against him, tightening his chest.

“Kiddo…” he shakes his head.

“Y'know, if you really wanted me dead, all you had to do was ask. I would’ve done it myself.” He doesn’t look up. Doesn’t see the pained shock on Patton's face, the suspicious surprise on Roman's, the horror on Logan’s. The pain on Thomas's. Instead, he flips up his hood, hugging himself as he wordlessly sinks out.

He managed to lock the door before he collapses to the floor. His chest feels like it's being squeezed by a boa constrictor, his ribs crushed and all the air shoved out of his lungs. His vision narrows to a dark pinprick, gaze unseeing as he sees Roman's talons again and again, falling and splattering against the floor, bones shattered, bars, a cage, closing in, pressing him tight, he can’t breathe, he’s choking, he’s dying, god, he’s going to die here. Why not? He laughs hysterically, that’s what they want, may as well give it to ‘em.

“virgil, no. It’s not what we all want. Come back to me, stormy. Focus on my voice. You can do it, Virgil.” Virgil. None of them know his name. Only, only…

“Dee?” he chokes out, blurry vision focusing enough to see Deceit, holding his hands in his lap, rubbing circles on his knuckles.

“There we are. Hello, dearest.” Deceit reaches up, softly wiping away his tears, brushing back his hair.

“I’m an idiot. I’m a stupid idiot.” He mutters.

“No. Virgil, you’re not. It’s ok.” He hisses in a breath of pain as Dee places a hand on his shoulder, vision going speckly at the slight contact. Dee pulls away, eyes wide, face darkening to fury.

“You’re hurt. Vee, you’re bleeding" he just shrugs, another sob clawing its way out of his throat.

“Doesn’t matter.” He whispers. Deceit hisses, and pulls him onto his lap.

“It does. Even if they don’t care, even if they don’t love you, I do. It matters to me. You will always matter to me. You’re my baby, Virg. Even if you’ve left the nest, you’re still my little rain storm. Got it?” He feels Dee's extra arms removing his hoodie, then all six are cradling him against Dee's chest, holding him tight and safe and secure, letting him relax and melt into the touch, knowing Dee will never let anything hurt him. He feels Dee press a kiss to his head.

“you’ve wiped yourself out, love. I'll take care of that nasty shoulder gash. Get some sleep, dearest.” Weakly, he clings to Dee's shirt. He doesn’t want him to let go, he doesn’t feel safe, if Dee lets go.

“I’m staying, darling. I’ll stay as long as you want.”

“remus-"

“can rain down all the hell he wants. Until you’re better, they deserve it.” He finds he can’t argue with that. He falls asleep to Dee humming softly, stroking his forehead and holding his hand, his other arms working to gently bandage his shoulder.

Deceit sighs as he hears a crash. Looking up, he sees Remus kick in the door, eyes aflame.

“who hurt him? Who’s ass do I gotta beat until it falls off?”  

“hush. I just got him settled.” Dee replies. In three strides, Remus is beside him, head cocked unnaturally far to the side, like a snapped neck.

“He’s ok?” Remus asks, neck snapping back to a normal position with an audible click.

“yes. Keep an eye on him, please?”

“What? Where're you going?” Remus asks. Deceit’s eyes flash.

“I am going to go see what exactly those half-witted buffoons did to send him spiraling. Then I am going to determine whom it is I need to beat the shit out of.” Deceit growled, stepping away from the bed.

“Boo, you never let me have any fun.” Remus pouts. He instantly stops as Virgil lets out a small sound, immediately climbing into the bed with him and spooning around him. Virgil curls against him immediately, stilling as he clings onto Remus.

“Thank you.” Deceit murmurs from the doorway. Remus nods.

“I'll take care of our little stormy night. You go teach ‘em a lesson, Dee.” Remus replies, relishing the sharp fanged smile Deceit flashes him, before sinking out. As an afterthought, he snaps, replacing the door, before turning his attention to Virgil, trying to mentally send him all of his love. Virgil is more of a brother to him  than Roman has ever been, and he hates seeing him hurt.

“hang in there, vee. Dee'll fix everything.”

“I highly doubt he wants to be called right now.”

“But he was so scared! We have to help!”

“I don’t know Pat, seeing us might make it worse.” He clears his throat. He meets three sets of surprised eyes with steel. Thomas yelps and falls backwards, catching himself on the wall.

“Who is that?!”  

“Deceit, you scurrilous snake, what are you doing here?” his eyes narrow at that.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Roman, was I not wanted here at this exact moment?” his voice is a perfect mimicry of Virgil's, and to his satisfaction it makes Roman flinch.

“Thomas. This is Deceit. He is responsible for the lies you tell not only others, but yourself. I am puzzled as to why you have appeared now. To my knowledge, no lies have been spoken.” Logan explains, and his hands ball into fists.

“Oh, truly, why ever would I be here? It'ssss not like Anxiety returned bloody and injured, in the midsssst of a panic attack, talking about how nobody wantssss him and it doessssn't matter. I’m sure that hassss nothing to do with it, Logic.” He hisses out, spitting Logan's title like it burns his tongue.

He can see Patton's guilty face out of the corner of his eye, knows whatever happened, it wasn’t him. But Roman… yes.

“So Thomas, dear, care to explain what happened?” He asks, sickly sweet, turning his gaze to Thomas, who has a slight frown on his face. As an afterthought, he notes that Thomas isn’t afraid of him, despite his scales and sharp fangs. Interesting.

“I thought it would be cool to see what everyone’s animal forms would be. Logan was an owl, Pat was a persian cat, and Roman was a dragon. But we didn’t see anxiety anywhere so we thought he was small and hiding and maybe too scared to move. Pat was gonna find him, then a mouse shot out from under the couch and Roman…” Thomas trails off, eyes shifting away, but it’s enough to confirm his suspicions.

“Roman. Care to continue?” Roman meets his ice cold gaze imperiously.  

“gladly. I captured the fiend in my claws. Hurting him was an accident. I merely meant to catch him while he was small and couldn’t hurt us and contain him. Keep him small, so he’d stop bothering Thomas. It’s not like we need him, anyways.” Roman scoffs.

Rage is filling him. Because Roman truly thinks he is in the right, truly thinks he didn’t do anything wrong, and his voice is proud as he speaks about traumatizing Virgil, who is the youngest, the smallest, the most vulnerable to start with. How dare he?

Before he can think, he has crossed the room, he rears his hand back and slaps Roman hard enough to send him reeling backwards.

“You are a heartless, soulless bastard. I told him not to come, I told him he’d get hurt but he didn’t listen. You know why? It’s certainly not because he wants to be included, he doesn’t yearn for your acceptance, it doesn’t break him a little more each time you all dismiss and send him away unwanted. He definitely doesn’t just want to be liked! He never has a hard enough time just being himself, being afraid, all the fucking time, and you have certainly helped make him feel right at home.” He hisses, ignoring the tears stinging at his eyes as he whips around, facing the rest of them.

“And you’re no better. How do you think it feels, knowing the person who conjured you doesn’t even want you? How terrified would you be, surrounded by people who have never showed you kindness, who have admitted their distaste, small and defenseless, being threatened to be put in a cage? His worst fear is something happening to Thomas and being unable to reach him, to react and help. It’s his job to protect Thomas, and you were threatening to keep him away, to put Thomas’s own safety at risk for your own stupid biases! You were threatening to make his nightmare real, and not a single fucking one of you said otherwise, did you?!” He yells, slowly looking at each of them in turn. No one will meet his eyes now, not even Roman.

“you don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve his name. No wonder he hasn’t told you. You’re a bunch of ignorant bullies. And you’d say I’m the bad guy. You all picked out the most vulnerable and pounced.” He shifts his head, turning to Thomas, a curling, empty smile on his face.

“It was a fucking pleasure, Thomas. I’ll be taking my leave.” The lie is bitter and acrid on his tongue, tasting of ash as he sinks out.

He returns to Virgil's room, immediately hurrying to his bedside, because he is crying, despite Remus's attempts to soothe him.

“Vee, what’s wrong?” he asks. Virgil glares at him through his tears.

“you said you were gonna stay!” he lets out a soft breath, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I know. I just had to check on something. But you know Remus would never let anything hurt you, right?” Virgil nods, leaning back into Remus's arms.

“That’s right, starshine. You’re safe.” Remus whispers, rocking Virgil gently, who responds by pressing his face into Remus's chest.

“You’re staying now, right?” Virgil mumbles. He smiles, slipping under the covers.

“I am. No lies this time.” He murmurs as Virgil lays down, curling into him. He reaches out with all six arms, pulling Remus closer, hugging both of them and sandwiching Virgil in warmth and safety.

“What was it?” Remus asks lowly, once Virgil is out again. He sighs.

“Shapeshifting, animal forms. He was a mouse. Roman was a dragon. Threatened to keep him locked up. It got physical.”

“You mean Roman was a bitch and attacked Virgil unprovoked.” Remus's voice is flat, and he shoots him a soft look, one of his hands slipping into Remus's.

“I’m going to kill him.” He squeezes Remus's hand.

“Later. We can work on murder plans later. Right now Vee needs us.”

“Anxiety, it’s dinner time!” Patton's voice trills. He opens his eyes with a groan, freezing instantly.

This… isn’t his room. It isn’t even the commons. He’s laying in soft bedding. He realizes he’s in a little plastic hut. His heart speeds. He looks down at himself, human, good.

He flinches as the house is lifted up, leaving him exposed. His breath catches in his lungs, Patton is looming over him, he is giant. He skitters back, realizing his back is pressing against metal wire. Cage, he is in a cage, he is tiny, in a cage.

He scrambles, trying to claw his way out, trying to bend the wire enough to wriggle out.

“hey, now. None of that kiddo.” His stomach flips as hands squeaze around his waist and he is lifted into the air. He is barely as tall as Patton's ring finger, he is so high in the air as Patton places him down on his palm.

“patton please, please, just let me go, please!” he begs, feeling tears slipping down his face.

“Aw, I know kiddo. But this is better for everyone. This way you’re still around but don’t bother Thomas.” He stumbles as Patton places him back in the cage, doubling over and choking on sobs as a small food dish is placed inside, the shadows of bars shading his face.

He is still begging, pleading, screaming, for Patton, for anyone, to let him out, let him go, but he knows no one is coming, and the bars are pressing in, and soon there won’t be any more space, any more air.  

“hush, stormy, shhh. It’s ok. It’s ok, lovely.” His eyes fly open, and he clings to Dee, feeling all of his arms cradling him tight as he sniffles into his shoulder, sobs shaking his thin frame.

“Just a dream, Vee." He feels Remus's hand on his, feels the terror and residual fear draining out of him as the nightmare is removed from his mind. The pros of dark creativity. Remus can steal other people’s bad thoughts, bad dreams, but then he experiences whatever the thoughts were. He hears Remus's sharp inhale as he sees it, feels his hand tighten it’s grip.

“thanks ree.” He manages, his voice hoarse and sore.

“Virgil, love, we should talk about it. I only got minor details from them.”

“what’s to say? They were going to keep me in a cage, they d-didn't want me.” Dee draws back a tad, looking down at Virgil's face, eyes hidden behind his bangs.

“did anyone help? Surely not all of them went along with this.” He shrugs, taking a deep breath.

“R-roman g-g-rabbed me in his talons and st-started flying. But he yelled… I think L-Logan tried to stop him. He was an o-o-owl. I think he rammed Roman and made him drop me. P-p-patton c-caught me. And… and he put me down, right away, when I asked. I… I don't think they woulda let Roman k-keep me.” He mumbles out, shaking. Dee feels his heart breaking, can feel the murder on Remus's face.

“That's good, Virge. They were trying to defend you.” Virgil shakes his head.

“but they didn’t. Only p-patton even cared I was h-hurt. Thomas… Thomas didn't say a-anything.”

“but he changed you back.” His brow creases as he looks out from Dee's arms at Remus's words. “if he agrees with Roman, he wouldn’t have changed you back.”  

“He's right, lovely. Thomas doesn’t hate you. I know that. That is fact.” He sighs.

“Doesn’t feel like it right now.” He mumbles.

“I know. And that’s ok, Virge.” Dee kisses his head softly. He startles at a knock on the door.  

“Remus, see who it is?”

“If it’s princey stab him for me.” Virgil mumbles, making Remus chuckle and ruffle his hair.

“Gladly, stormy.”  

He throws open the door, leaning in the doorway with a cocky grin, teeth sharp and eyes glinting.

“Well, well, hello there Daddy. Have I been naughty?” he teases, moving to block Patton's view of the room.

“Remus… what… what are you doing here?” Patton asks nervously.  

“Apparently playing the butler. Y'know, Patton, in the movies the butler is always guilty of murder.” He tilts his head slowly, relishing the fear that races across Patton's face. “Now, what are you doing here, daddio?” Patton fiddles with his sweater sleeves, a frown settling on his face.

“I just… I know he probably doesn’t want to see us right now, heck, maybe ever, and I don’t fault him for it. Today… today was bad. Really, really bad. I just want to make sure he's ok. And apologize. We… we chewed out Roman. His actions were unacceptable. Just… I would never let that happen. He’s not… he’s a person, and I don’t always agree with him, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to take away his voice or opinion. Can you just… pass that on, for me? Please?”  

Remus looks back at the bed, softening as he sees Virgil uncurling from Dee, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, leaning against Dee, who has an arm around his shoulders. Virgil looks up at Dee, a silent question.  

“No lies.” Dee murmurs, and Virgil bites his lip. “You wanna let him in?” He asks softly. Virgil hesitates, but nods.  

“If he means it... yeah.” Virgil mumbles.  

“He does. Remus, stop playing. V- Anxiety says he can come in.” He calls, catching himself before using Virgil’s actual name. Remus sighs, but steps aside.  

“Well? Come in then.”  

Hesitantly, Patton steps inside the dark room, taking in the soft, dark carpet, the dark to light purple gradient painted on the walls. There are also posters for bands carefully hung in frames, and a few posters for movies that Anxiety must like. He sees fairy lights strung across the ceiling that sparkle like stars without the main lights turned on.  

He lets out a soft noise of hurt as he takes in Anxiety, knees pulled to his chest, his shoulders hunched. His eyeshadow is smeared all over his face, his eyes red and puffy. He glances at Deceit, not as surprised to see him here, tilting his head. Deceit nods minutely, and he sits down next to Anxiety, legs dangling over the edge of the bed, careful not to touch him, to give him space.  

“hey kiddo. How’s your shoulder?” He asks.  

“better. Dee helped. It still... still hurts.” His voice is quiet and unsure and hoarse.  

“Yeah. I think it would be pretty strange if it didn’t. I’m glad you’re going to be ok, though. Even if it hurts now, it’ll feel better eventually.”  

“will it?” He is surprised as Patton pulls him into a hug, startled, but after a moment he leans into it, tucking his chin against Patton’s shoulder.  

“I have never wanted you to die. I have never wanted you to leave. You’re one of my kiddos, kiddo, and that means I stand up for you when something hurts you, no matter who or what it is.”

“i’m scared. I hate... I hate being small... I hate... it’s so big, everything... I could drown, in a puddle, I could be crushed by a book, I could be stepped on, I could be crushed, I could get hurt and no one would know, no one would realize or find me. I could be caged...” He chokes out, fear flooding through him again. “I could be caged and my influence squashed, and then no one would protect Thomas, look out for dangers, keep him... keep him on task, keep him motivated to d-do better. I c-can't... trapped, and b-bars and it-it's too much... too small...” He is shaking again, on the edge of hysteria, but Patton is rocking him, holding him.  

“Oh honey... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We didn’t know you were gonna be that little. I’m sorry we didn’t ask permission first, we weren’t thinking. I promise, promise,” he pulled back so Anxiety could see his eyes, tears spilling down his own cheeks, “that I will physically fight anyone who suggests we do that again, who even dares to mention putting you in a cage. I nearly did fight Roman, Logan had to hold me back.” That gets a weak laugh out of Anxiety, imagining Logan holding back a kicking and spitting furious Patton. “I love you, kiddo. I really, really do, and if anyone has a problem with that, has a problem with you, they’ll have to go through me first.” Patton’s voice is fierce, and he doesn’t have to look at Dee to know that he isn’t lying.  

“T-thomas-”  

“Is worried about you, kiddo. I came to check on you cause he wanted to make sure you were gonna be ok. What you said... really, really scared us, but we didn’t wanna summon you, because we knew you probably didn’t want to be summoned. He’s sorry, too. We all are.”  

“Even Roman?” He asks, bitterness in his voice. Patton hesitates, sighing.  

“I don’t know. I think... I think he’s sorry he got yelled at, sorry he got in trouble, sorry we didn’t agree with him. But I don’t think he’s sorry for what he actually did to you, said to you. Which makes me angry, because he should be sorry, but he isn’t, and if he isn’t, I can’t change that. What I can do is make sure you are going to be alright. I can learn what else we shouldn’t do without asking your permission. I can be better at speaking up when Roman threatens or takes jabs at you, and eventually, hopefully, his attitude will change as he learns none of us are going to enable him anymore. I’m sorry it went this far.” He blinks, surprised. He didn’t expect Patton to acknowledge Roman’s inability to see his own wrongdoings. He didn’t expect Patton to admit to his own shortcomings. He didn’t expect Patton to be... honest.  

“What would you like us to do for now, Anxiety? Clearly, you have two people who love you very much helping your right now, so I feel ok leaving, if you like. I just didn’t want you to be alone, when you were so upset. Thomas... all of us, want to speak with you about what happened, to try and make ammends, but we’ll do that on your terms, so there’s no rush. Just, whenever you’re ready to talk, we’re ready to listen.  If you like, I can bring you meals, if you don’t wanna leave your room for a while. I wanna keep you healthy, and I know if I leave you to your own devices it’ll be chips and soda for every meal.” He lets out a little snort at that, because Patton is right, of course, and he’s already calmed down so much because Patton is being so nice, and he knows Dee would have told him if Patton had lied.  

“that all sounds good, yeah.” He mumbles, shifting out of Patton’s hug, pulling his knees to his chest once again.  

“ok. Is there anything else you need, or would like me to do?” He bites his lip, thinking.  

“Just... just let them know I’m ok? If they’re really that worried about me.” Patton squeezes his non injured shoulder once as he stands, smiling gently.  

“Will do, kiddo. If you ever need anything, or just want some company, don’t be afraid to call me up.”  

“I... might.” Patton smiles again, soft and warm.  

“I love you, Anxiety.” Patton turns away, but before he sinks out, Virgil steels his courage.  

“Virgil!” He shouts, and the room seems to freeze. Remus is staring at him in wide eyed surprise. Deceit has stopped rubbing his back, and Patton falters mid step, before turning to face him, something akin to awe on his face. “That’s... my name. My name is Virgil.” A huge smile blooms across Patton’s face, his eyes light up with tender joy, and he sniffles, wiping away tears.  

“Virgil. I think that’s a lovely name, Virgil. I know I'm usually a blabber mouth, but it when it counts, I can keep a secret.” Patton winks, sending a smile flashing across his own face as warmth blooms in his chest. With a wave, Patton sinks out, and he collapses back against Deceit with a long, low sigh.  

“You sure about that, Virg?” Remus asks, from where he’s leaning against the wall, having simply observed everything.  

“yeah. Yeah I... think I am.” He feels Dee press another soft kiss to the top of his head.  

“Proud of you, lovely.” He smiles, closing his eyes as he feels Remus settle on the other side of him. He is still scared and afraid and knows the nightmares won’t leave him alone for ages, now. But he also knows that at least Patton is on his side. And Patton is almost more of a mama bear than Deceit. If the two of them are looking out for him, he knows nothing will hurt him like this ever again.

[fanmoose12]

Partners

Characters: Petra Ral, Levi, Hanji Zoe x Levi Genre: Action / Mystery / Romance Rating: T

Detective!au

Summary: when Petra was promoted to a detective and partnered up with legendary Levi Ackerman, she felt like the happiest person in the world.

But, as she soon found out, detective Ackerman she used to admire so much was actually a far cry from the ideal policeman Petra thought he was. He was rude, harsh and easily annoyed. And, in addition, he still hadn’t moved on from the death of his previous partner - detective Hange Zoe.

Chapter 10/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Сhapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Сhapter 7

Сhapter 8

Chapter 9

“We’ve been apart for so long!” Hange kissed the crown of black hair, nuzzling her nose into it. “I’ve missed you so much, my dear! I love you more than anyone else in this world, yes, yes, I do.”

“Are you finished already?” Levi asked, scowling darkly. “Or are you going to continue making out with my dog?”

“I’m just saying hello to my favorite boy!” Hange giggled, and Grim licked her face happily. “Well, my second favorite boy,” she corrected, shooting Levi a mischievous grin.

“Get the fuck off the floor, four-eyes,” he lightly kicked her thigh. “Before your butt freezes.”

“Fine, fine, Grim, get off me, boy,” the dog complied instantly, and Hange outstretched her hand, signaling Levi that she needed help with getting up. Levi rolled his eyes, but obeyed too. Hange stood up, dusting her pants. “A certain someone likes my butt so much, he doesn’t want it to freeze.”

“Take your shoes off,” Levi grunted, way above responding to Hange’s taunts. Whatever he thought about her butt wasn’t any of her business anyway.

“Ah, this place hasn’t changed a bit!” Hange exclaimed, as she walked further into Levi’s apartment.

“What did you expect?” Levi followed after her. “Some big renovations?”

“Maybe?” Hange shrugged. “I was actually worried some cutie lives here now.”

Levi stared at the back of her head, lost and confused. She was worried? About some cutie?

What the fuck?

“You know,” Hange continued. “Some adorable little thing who managed to steal the heart of Levi Ackerman himself.”

“Nothing of the sort happened, as you can see,” he said, his face blank despite his obvious discomfiture.  

Adorable little thing stealing his heart? What a bunch of nonsense, Levi thought. Even if there was someone, capable of stealing his heart, it would be a loud, messy idiot who stood a good few inches above him.

“You don’t need a tour around the house, I hope?” he asked.

“Of course not, I remember it better than my own.”

“Good, then settle down, I’ll go on a walk with Grim.”

“Aw, you’re taking him away from me already?” Hange pouted, crouching in front of the dog. Grim licked her pout away, making Hange giggle. And eliciting an annoyed tsk from his owner.

“Let’s go,” he fastened a leash to Grim’s collar. He then looked back at Hange. “Try not to ruin my house while I’m gone, alright?”

“Sure!” she showed him thumb-ups.

Levi shook his head with an exasperated sigh. “I won’t be gone for too long. Oh, and Hange,” he glanced at her briefly, before turning away. “Welcome home.”

 ***

“Um, Levi?” Hange called seconds after he returned from his walk with Grim. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” he gave Grim a treat and motioned for him to stay put, walking towards the bedroom, from where Hange’s voice was coming from.

Levi walked in and saw that Hange was standing in front of his wardrobe.

Oh. She wanted to ask him about that.

Understandable.

“I know how that it looks kinda creepy…” he rubbed his forehead, feeling more than a little bit embarrassed.

“That’s my old clothes, right?”

Well, there was no pointing in denying that.

“Yes,” Levi said, giving Hange a courtesy of looking her straight in the eyes. “I was the one, who cleaned your apartment after, well, you know…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, throwing them away seemed like a waste, so…”

“Thanks!” Hange beamed.

Levi frowned. “You’re not… mad or something?”

“Of course, not, silly! I’m actually quite happy. I’ve missed this pullover so much!” Hange took the piece of clothing out, throwing it at Levi’s bed. “And this sweater!” it followed the path of a pullover. “And this shirt! And—”

“Okay, stop.” Levi grabbed her hand, preventing Hange from making a total mess on his bed. “I’ve got it, you don’t mind me being a weirdo, my bed has nothing to do with it.”

“Oh right,” Hange chuckled, shrugging helplessly. “Sorry about that. I can—”

“I’ll clean this out,” Levi cut her off. “You go ahead and take a shower.”

That put a pout on Hange’s face. “But I’ve already had one this morning…”

That was an improvement, Levi was actually impressed. Still, it wasn’t enough.

“I’m not letting you sleep in my bed until I make sure that you’re fresh and clean, four-eyes.”

“What!” Hange squealed. “You want me to sleep in your bed?”

“Do you wish to spend the night at my shitty old sofa? With Grim drooling all over you?” Levi bluntly countered. “I thought to take that place myself, but if you’re so eager...”

“But I can’t just kick you out of your own bed. Let me take the sofa.”

“You’re a guest, four-eyes. Take the fucking bed.” He gritted, annoyed by her stubbornness.

“Fine!” Hange threw her hands in the air. “If you’re so dead set on this, I’ll take the bed.” Levi’s lips almost curled into a victorious smirk. “But you’re sharing it with me.”

And the celebratory expression disappeared without a trace.

“…What? What do you mean?”

“I mean, let’s share the bed. You take one side, I take the other, no one sleeps on the sofa, we both sleep on a bed. Together.”

We both sleep on a bed. Together.

These words made blood rush to his face. He just recently discovered that he might be harboring some kind of feelings for Hange. He didn’t know yet just what kind of feelings. He didn’t know when all of that had started and what make of it. So sharing a bed… seemed like they were rushing things a bit.

“Isn’t that weird?” he asked, trying to find a way out of this situation. Preferably without revealing to Hange just what exactly was weirding him out so much.

“I don’t think so, no.” Hange shrugged. “I mean, we’ve shared the bed before.”

“It was one time,” Levi said, understanding exactly what she meant. “And we didn’t share a bed. You fell on top of me while we were napping on a sofa in the office.”

“That wasn’t the only time we’ve shared the bed, though,” Hange remarked. “Remember Erwin’s birthday party?”

“We were drunk,” Levi crossed hands on his chest. “And technically we weren’t sharing.”

“How so?”

“You were sleeping between Erwin and me. It’s not sharing.”

“It is!” Hange huffed. “I was sharing a bed with you and Erwin. Your hands were on my waist! That counts as sharing.”

Oh. His hands were on her waist? Levi’s mind thankfully obscured that detail.

“And if it makes you feel less awkward, it wouldn’t be just us in this bed tonight too.”

“Huh?”

“Grim,” Hange smiled. “I’m sure he’ll join us too.”

Levi scowled. “He is not allowed on a bed.”

“Sure,” her smile turned into a smirk. “Keep lying, Ackerman.”  

“Fine,” he shook his head. “I’ll go wash Grim and prepare a bath for you. And then you’ll shut up, take a bath and we’ll go to sleep. It’s late and I had a hell of a day because of you.”

“I’ll go make tea for us in the meanwhile,” she moved past Levi, heading to the kitchen. She stopped when she was right next to him and left a kiss on his cheek. Levi’s heart did a flip. “Thanks for everything,” she whispered, before disappearing into a kitchen.

Levi stood there, with a hand pressed to his cheek, gently touching the place Hange kissed for an embarrassingly long moment. He would have continued to remain frozen on that spot, if it weren’t for Grim, who started to whine loudly, getting impatient of waiting for Levi to snap out of it and take care of him.

“Shit,” he cursed, running a hand through his hair. Just what Hange was doing to him? “I’m coming!” he yelled, hurrying to his pet.

 ***

Levi put his hands around Hange, pulling her closer. He inhaled her faint scent and smiled, tracing the contour of her shoulder with his nose.

Hange turned in their embrace, facing Levi. She looked him in the eyes, the corners of her lips lifting in a soft, loving smile.

“It’s so good to be reunited, isn’t it? After long two years of being apart?”

“Yes,” Levi breathed out, unable to do anything but stare at her, devotion shining in his eyes.

“Do you think this is going to last?” her voice was honeyed, sweet. Too sweet, Levi realized as Hange’s smile changed. It wasn’t soft. Or loving. It was cold and cruel. “Do you think you can make me stay?”

Hange shook her head, disappointment replacing the once tender expression. Before Levi could say anything, ask her a question or give her some kind of an answer, she disappeared, slipping between his fingers. Like she wasn’t even there. Levi stared at the now empty space beside him with widened, shocked eyes.

“No,” he whispered weakly, grasping the sheet, where Hange just laid. “No, don’t go, don’t leave me alone, not again.”

He was cold, and the room around him was dark. It pressed on him, making him feel like a small frightened boy. The panic gripped and ceased him, suffocating him in its tight, loveless embrace.

And then— as though out of nowhere, there were warm hands on his face and gentle, insisting voice in his ear, calling out his name, repeating it again and again.

Unable to resist, he followed it.

He opened his eyes and he was still in his room, but— it was different from before. It wasn’t engulfed in darkness anymore, the lamp on his bedside table illuminating everything, and he wasn’t alone, Hange— Hange was hovering above him.

She was looking at him with a mixture of worry and confusion, her hair was out of the usual ponytail and seemed to be even more of a mess, the glasses were gone too and Hange was squinting, which made her look like a disheveled, one-eyed owl.

She looked ridiculous, Levi thought. He wanted to stare at her for hours.

“Levi?” she asked in a quiet whisper.

“Sorry for waking you up,” he said, embarrassment making his voice even gruffer than usual. “Go back to sleep.”

He turned away from her, switching off the lamp. A couple of minutes passed and the room was still silent. Levi closed his eyes, hoping that Hange was merciful enough to spare him and forget about the whole incident.

Of course, that was foolish of him. Hange forgetting about something? Nothing more than a wishful thinking on his part.

“Hey,” Hange called. “Do you want to talk about that?”

“No.”

“I do.” She said matter-of-factly. “You had a nightmare.”

Levi snorted. “Great deduction, detective Zoe.”

“That nightmare was about me.” It wasn’t a question, but Hange still paused for a second, giving Levi a chance to confirm or deny it. He remained silent. Hange took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re… suffering because of me—”

“Shut up,” he cut her off harshly, preventing her from spitting out even more nonsense. “You came back, Hange. You’re here now. That’s more than I could ask for.”

“Come here.”

Suddenly, there was a hand on his arm, turning him around.

“I want cuddles.” Hange explained with a silly grin.

“I don’t.” Levi glowered.

“Yes, you do,” she threw her arm over him, laying a head on his chest. “He does want to cuddle, right, Grim?”

Grim, who was lying at the foot of the bed answered by putting his head on Levi’s leg.

“Good grief,” Levi muttered, wrapping his hand around Hange’s shoulder. She nuzzled into his chest with a contended sigh.

Levi was glad that the room was dark this time. It made it easier for him to hide a smile.

***

“So!” Hange rubbed her hands in anticipation, looking around the police precinct with an excited smile. “What’s our plan of action?”

“I’m catching up on all of my paperwork.” Levi said. “You sit tight and watch me work.”

“Boring,” Hange answered flippantly. “Didn’t we use to visit forensics first thing in the morning? You know, to get updates about the clues and stuff?”

“There are no clues, remember?”

“Right,” she scratched her chin. “But, maybe, they found something?”

“They would have informed me already.”

“Maybe, they forgot?”

Levi sighed. “You just want to visit the forensic department, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Hange agreed with a shrug. “Shall we?”

“You go,” he gave her a slight push. “There is something I need to do first.”

“Eh?” a confused crease formed between Hange’s eyebrows. “And where are you going?”

“I’ll join you soon.” Hange continued to stare at him. She put hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes, silently demanding a more detailed answer. Levi sighed again. “I’m going to get my tea. And then I’ll come back, alright?”

“Oh,” Hange snickered, giving him an amused look. “Alright, go get your tea, shorty, I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Detective Ackerman! Detective Zoe!” before Hange and Levi could go their separate ways, a man approached them. To Levi, he looked distinctly familiar.

“Oluo!” Hange greeted with a smile, bringing Levi up to a speed.

Right, Oluo Bozard, a police technician and Petra’s old colleague. A man who was foolish enough to follow through with her reckless schemes.

“How is Petra?” Hange asked, while Levi was too busy glaring holes at the man. “Did you two get back home safely last night?”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you actually,” Oluo rubbed his neck. “Petra, haven’t you two seen her? She doesn’t pick up the phone and she isn’t at your office.”

“Since this weirdo is with me today,” Levi pointed to Hange, earning a playful punch to the arm from her. “I texted Petra this morning, told that she can have a day off. She’s probably still sleeping.”

“Poor thing,” Hange shook her head. “She must be so exhausted.”

“Oh,” Oluo nodded. “I was starting to get worried, but Petra is just lazing around? A weight of my shoulders,” he wiped the imaginary sweat from his forehead and smiled. “Thank you, detectives. Have a good day!”

“You too!” Hange waved at him, then turned to Levi. “Don’t take too long, shorty, I’ll be downstairs.”

“Just… be careful, four-eyes.”

“Huh?”

Levi gave her a knowing look, as corners of his lips curled into a small smirk. “They don’t know about your miraculous resurrection. Don’t give our scientists a heart attack, alright?”

Hange snorted, clasping his shoulder in delight. “I’ll try my best,” she promised, before hurrying to the stairwell that led to the forensics department.

“What an idiot…” Levi whispered, watching her go with a fond look in his eyes.

  ***

Moving on her tiptoes, Hange carefully made her way down the stairs. She slowly and quietly approached the entrance to forensic department, and then carefully touched the handle, remembering that it used to have an extremely annoying habit of rattling very loudly every time someone moved it.

Two years later, and that particular problem still hadn’t been solved. She softly gripped the handle and turned it, trying to be as stealthy as possible.

She took all the precautions not because she wanted to give the scientists a heart attack, as Levi had so bluntly put it. She just… wished to see a look of shock and surprise on their faces. It would be hilarious, Hange thought, already anticipating Moblit’s wide-eyed and pale-faced look, Nifa’s squeal, Keiji’s shout and Abel’s cursing.

It would be hysterical. Levi would regret not coming with her.

With that in mind, Hange threw the door to forensics department open. “Hey, guys!” she yelled, waiting for the gasps of surprise to reach her ears.

They never did.

Nifa, Moblit, Keiji and Abel all ran out to see her. There were wide smiles on their faces and happiness shining in their eyes.

No shock, though. No surprise. Hange couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

Did the miraculous returns of the people who were presumed dead for two years become such a common thing nowadays? Not worthy even a single ‘what the fuck’?

“We missed you so much!” Nifa wrapped her arms around Hange’s neck, bringing her down to a hug. Hange embraced her back, forgetting about her chagrin for a moment.

“What are you standing there for?” Nifa scolded, turning around. “It’s supposed to be a group hug, you idiots!”

Laughing in embarrassment, Moblit was the first to join Nifa. Keiji and Abel, complaining about Nifa’s bossiness in hushed murmurs, were quick to follow her order as well.

“Ah, guys, I missed you too,” Hange sighed, happy as ever. Having four people curled around her body wasn’t exactly comfortable, but Hange felt warm, she felt loved and appreciated.

She felt at home.

  ***

“So who ratted me out?” Hange asked, after Keiji had put a cup of coffee and a plate of Nifa’s delicious cheesecake in front of her. “Who told you that I’m not actually dead? Was that Levi, that blabbering gossiping midget?”

“Um, no?” Abel answered with a confused frown. He had some troubles imagining Levi as blabbering. Or gossiping. Or anything else, except a menacingly looking, constantly scowling man.

“Then was it Erwin?” throwing a piece of cheesecake in her mouth, Hange leaned closer, watching all of them carefully. “Did that handsome bastard finally grow tired of keeping my secret and decided to spill it out for everyone?”

“It wasn’t him either,” Nifa smiled. “It was Petra who told us.”

“Petra?”

“Yeah, you know,” Moblit chimed in. “Detective Ackerman’s new partner.”

“Of course, I know Petra,” a wide smile appeared on Hange’s lips. “She’s such a sweet girl. I take it, you already bonded with her?”

“She’s nice,” Keiji shrugged, sipping on his coffee.

“And very kind,” Moblit agreed.

“And so fricking pretty!” Nifa added. “If that idiot Oluo ever grows tired of her…”

“Sorry, Nifa,” Hange chuckled, patting the girl’s hand sympathetically. “But I saw them the other day. If anyone is going to grow tired, it’s definitely not Oluo.”

“What a shame,” Nifa stared into her cup of coffee, shaking her head.

“By the way, Hange,” Abel said, diverting attention from heartbroken Nifa. “I’ve gotta say, the eyepatch looks good on you.”

“Yes!” Nifa perked up. “You look so badass.”

“Ah, you think so?” Hange touched the eyepatch with her fingers, a look of self-doubt painting her features.

“You look cool as hell,” Keiji assured her with a warm smile.

Hange’s cheek reddened slightly, as she gave a small nod, silently thanking everyone for the compliment.

“Where is detective Ackerman?” Moblit asked suddenly. “Is he not going to join us?”

“He doesn’t trust your taste in tea, so he went to get his own,” Hange explained with a fond look. “He’ll be there in a moment.”

“What an insufferable little man!” Nifa muttered with a dark expression. “We still keep his favorite brand of tea,” she huffed irritably. “If only he visited us more often, he’d know that.”

“Why are you here today?” Abel questioned Hange. “Does that mean—”

“That it’s a ‘bring your best friend to work’ day?” Hange forced out a laugh, pushing her glasses up.

“So you won’t… return?” Moblit looked into her eyes. His sad, disappointed look broke Hange’s heart.

She took a breath, turning her gaze away. “I don’t know if I’ll return,” she said earnestly. “But… I really want to.”

“So!” she clasped her hands together, destroying the tense silence that fell over the room after her words. “Do you have a nice, horribly mutilated corpse to show me?”

“Oh,” Nifa smirked, her eyes glinting wickedly. “We have just what you need.”

  ***

Levi leaned against the doorway, unnoticed by everyone. With Hange at the center of the table, it didn’t surprise him. He watched her exchange jokes with the others, smile and laugh, and he thought – finally, everything is as it should be.

He realized he had missed not just Hange, he had missed this, a life he used to have, a routine he was accustomed to, a routine that disappeared ever since Hange was gone.

He missed coming down there with Hange, missed listening to her nerdy conversations with their colleagues and looking at the disgusting, revolting corpses with her, missed dragging her out of the forensics department and into their office, forcing her to get to actual work.

He wondered if this life was ever going to return. He desperately hoped so.

“Hey, detective Ackerman!” Abel’s friendly voice distracted Levi from his gloomy thoughts. “Come join us, the tea is getting cold!”

“We still have your favorite brand, by the way,” Nifa scolded him, wearing a disgruntled expression. “You would have known this, if you actually visited us more often than once in a lifetime.”

“Sorry,” Levi mumbled. Nifa’s strict voice and vicious glare actually made him feel bad. “Thanks for the tea.”

“I saved you a place!” Hange said, standing up.

“And where are you going?” Levi narrowed his eyes, suspicion swirling in his gaze.

“Nifa and I have some business in the dissection room,” Hange leaned in, lowering her voice to a whisper. “She promised me a cool corpse!”

“Ugh,” Levi pushed her away. “You don’t change,” he told her. His voice sounded much fonder than he intended it to.

“Yeah, love you too,” Hange ruffled his hair and left, hurrying after Nifa.                

His heart skipped a beat at that. Levi stared in the distance for a long moment, failing to calm his racing heart.

“Detective?” Moblit carefully touched his elbow. “Are you—”

“I’m fine,” he gritted through teeth, snapping out of his stupor. “Don’t you dare to say a word,” Levi threatened, scowling at Moblit, Keiji and Abel.

He picked up his cup, hiding a blush behind it. Damn Hange and her annoying ability to always embarrass him. That part of her he most certainly didn’t miss.

  ***

“If watching me work gets you so damn interested,” Levi muttered without looking up from a mountain of paperwork on his desk. “Then lend a fucking hand, four-eyes.”

“Don’t distract me,” she chided, throwing a paper plane right in the middle of his desk. “I’m thinking.”

“Thinking?” Levi crumpled the plane in his hands, changing its trajectory into a trashcan. “I wasn’t aware you could do that. New skill of yours?”

“Asshole,” another paper plane hit him in the side of his head. Levi cursed, crumpling this one with much more force. “If you’re such a douche, I won’t tell you what I was thinking about.”

Oh. That got Levi curious.

“I’m listening,” he said. He sat back in his chair, directing his gaze on Hange. The paperwork lay forgotten on his desk. Levi ignored it. He also ignored Erwin’s voice in his head that reminded him that he was supposed to finish all of it today. He was working for over an hour now. He deserved a small break.  

“Well,” Hange huffed, raising her nose up in distain. “Now I don’t want to tell you.”

“Hange,” Levi took a paper from his desk, crumpled and threw it at her, making her look at him. “I’m listening,” he said, looking her in the eye.

Hange’s demeanor changed instantly. She lowered her gaze and shook her head. “You would think I’m stupid…” she quietly mumbled.

“I already know that you’re stupid, four-eyes, so, c’mon, spill it out already.”

“After all this is over…” Hange began, drawing invisible patterns on the surface of her desk. “You know the murders and that shit with Zeke… do you think I can come back?”

“Hange,” Levi looked at her seriously. “Tell me one thing, please – are you an idiot?”

Hange glanced up, blinking in surprise. “…What?”

“You saw how much everyone misses you today, and you still have any doubts about coming back?”

“I doubt it’d be so easy…” Hange fumbled with her thumbs. “I’m presumed dead, after all.”

Levi rolled his eyes, exasperated. “I’m pretty sure Erwin can clear that out in no time.”

“But after those two years, would I be able to… fit it?”

“You’re definitely an idiot,” Levi declared, biting his tongue from saying something much worse. “Tell me one goddamn reason why you wouldn’t fit in.”

Hange shrugged, studying her nails so intently like it was the most interesting thing in the world. “You have a new partner now.”

“That’s… what got you so worried?” Levi spoke, his voice full of surprise.

“Well… I just don’t want another partner, I guess.”

“Idiot,” Levi repeated once again. “I don’t want another partner too, I don’t think Petra is going to be very upset if Erwin finds her a new one.”

“Oh!” Hange finally looked up, her face bright and excited. “You would want to continue working with me?”

“No,” Levi said in a dead-pan voice. “Working with my best friend is absolutely awful, I hated every second of it, that’s why I was so depressed after your death.”

“Gosh, you’re such an asshole,” Hange said, a smile breaking on her face.

Levi couldn’t help but curl his lips upwards too. “And you’re an idiot.”

“Erwin would be ecstatic to have you back too,” he remarked, turning back to his papers. Looking at Hange’s smile made him think silly things. It made him want to press his lips to that smile and taste if it was really as sweet as it looked. He shook his head slightly, struggling to return his attention to work.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you were his best detective, after all.”

“Hm.” Hange frowned. “Weren’t you the precinct’s best?”

“No,” Levi said, his voice much gruffer than usual. The pen in his hand trembled from the force he was holding it with. “Without you, I wasn’t.”

“Levi…” Hange whispered.

She stood up suddenly, the scraping noise from her chair filling the too quiet room. She walked up to his desk and sat at the edge of it. She slowly reached out to him, curling her hand around his shoulder, and as Levi looked up, he saw that she was staring down at him with a mixture of fondness and shyness.

“Maybe, it’s not the right time for this, but I’ve always wanted to tell you…” she paused, looking down for a second. Then she took a deep breath and—

And then someone knocked on the door. It was loud and insistent, and Levi cursed whoever was behind it. What was Hange going to tell him? He wanted to know. He wanted to know so much he was ready to ignore the irritating knocking.

Hange had another opinion, though.

“Come in!” she shouted, turning away from Levi.

The door opened, and a sweaty, heavy-breathing Oluo tumbled inside.

“Detectives!” he managed to yell between his pants. “Have any of you heard from Petra?”

Levi and Hange exchanged a glance. “No?”

“I’ve just returned from her apartment,” Oluo explained, nodding gratefully at Hange, who offered him a glass of water. He gulped half of it in one go. “It was— it was empty. Her coat and shoes were inside and—”

“And the door?” Hange asked.

“Unlocked.” Oluo answered.

“Shit. Have you noticed anything else?”

“Yes,” Oluo nodded, opening his coat and taking something from the inner pocket. “This was lying on Petra’s windowsill.”

Hange snatched a small bag out of his hands, pushing her glasses up and inspecting it carefully. “A cigarette butt…” she whispered with a troubled expression.

Levi was instantly by her side. “I take it, the brand is familiar?” and before Hange could answer, he added. “Zeke smokes a lot, does he not?”

“I don’t—”

“I knew we couldn’t trust him,” he growled, clenching his fists. “I told you we couldn’t, and now Petra—”

“I don’t think that’s him, Levi,” Hange said, cutting him off. “Just think about it,” she continued, starting to pace around the office. “It’s Zeke we’re talking about, a man so evasive we spend a whole year chasing after him, and now, what? He forgets to throw out his cigarette butt? Even though, he knows we may still suspect him? He’s much smarter than that.”

“So what are you saying?”

“Someone is setting him up,” Hange concluded confidently. “Now I’m sure of it.”

“And what about Petra?” Oluo spoke up. “Do you really think she was… kidnapped?”

“Shit.” Levi muttered with feeling. He didn’t want to believe that Oluo’s conclusion was right, but… then he remembered a note they’ve found at the scene of a second murder and… it was the only possible explanation.

“We need to start the search,” Hange announced in commanding voice. “Levi, go and inform Erwin about this, tell him to gather as much people as he can. Oluo, rest a bit, then go back to your department. If there are officers you unquestionably trust, ask them for help as well. We’ll meet right there in two hours.”

“Oi!” Levi grabbed her sleeve, catching up with Hange, who was already by the door. “And where are you going?”

“To Zeke,” Hange said. “I need to make sure he’s innocent. And, who knows, maybe, he’ll be able to help us.”

“Hange…”

“I’ll be fine,” she gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to die on you for a second time.”

“You better keep this promise, four-eyes.” Levi spoke darkly. “Because I’m not letting you go for a second time. Good luck.”

Hange nodded. “I’ll see you soon.”

  ***

There was a pounding, pulsing pain that was impossible to ignore. It felt like someone was hitting her head repeatedly with a hammer and simultaneously squeezing her brain inside the tight clutches. It felt like a hundred hangovers combined.

And it was made exponentially worse by hushed voices to her left that just didn't shut up.

Groaning softly, Petra opened her eyes. And closed them instantly as a new, much stronger wave of pain hit her. Her eyes felt like they were burning, her head felt like it was going to explode.

What had happened to her?

Fighting through pain, Petra tried to focus, searching through her brain for the recent memories. She was... with Oluo, and together they've broken into Sannes' office. Levi had come then, with detective Zoe in tow. And after that... she went home. Petra remembered the feeling of exhaustion as she walked up the stairs to her apartment. And then... what happened then? She must have gotten to the front door, and, right... she had found it unlocked. She walked inside and saw a man and....

"Detective Ral. Did you and your partner receive my note?"

And then before she could do anything, cry out for help, try to defend herself or take out her gun, the man with an eerie smile attacked her. He seized her hands in his, his face moved closer to hers, she felt shooting pain at the back of her head and then... There was darkness.

And now she was strapped to a chair with a headache so fierce it made her nauseous.

God, it was pathetic. She needed to do something about it.

She opened her eyes again, this time more slowly. The room she was in was still too bright, but Petra persevered and carefully surveyed her surroundings.

The room wasn't big and it was mostly empty. There were no windows and the only source of light was a lightbulb that shone right above her head. Apart from a chair she was sitting on, the only piece of furniture inside was a long table that stood at the other side of the room.

That's where the voices came from. And that's where two figures stood. Petra recognized one of them right away, despite him standing with his back facing her.

Sannes.

That meant that the man beside him was his intern. The bastard who kidnapped her. The man with an eerie smile.

Engrossed in a conversation, the two men didn't seem to notice that she had regained her consciousness. Petra had to use it to her advantage.

Whatever they talked about, the discussion seemed heated. Petra strained her hearing, listening in.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Sannes hissed, grabbing the other man by the collar of his shirt. "Do you understand what you've done? If Ackerman finds out—”

"He won't," the man responded calmly, easily throwing Sannes’ hands off him. “He won’t be able to find us, I took some precautions.”

“You— you took some precautions?” Sannes repeated, a breathless laugh escaping his lips. “What kind of precautions, you fucking dimwit? Do you know who you’re dealing with?”

“You said he wasn’t as good as he was before…” the man mumbled with a confused frown.

“And that still makes him ten times smarter than you!” Sannes snapped, turning away. “Fuck!” he yelled, gripping the side of his head. “Why did I even agree to help you out, I knew you were a fucking idiot. And now Ackerman will have all the proof he needs to get rid of me. Years of hard work!” he lamented. “And all of it wasted because of your idiotic stunt!”

“Calm down, I’ve got everything under control!” the man tried to placate Sannes. “We’re taking a huge risk, I know, but the reward will be worth it!”

“What kind of reward?” Sannes seethed. “Getting rid of Zeke? I never really cared about that! It’s you who are obsessed with that!”

“Zeke is a fool,” the man sneered, his voice full of disgust. “He’s not the man he was before. Ever since he took in that Zoe, he had made mistake after mistake. It’s time to put an end to this. It’s time for someone else to take over his legacy. Our gang needs a new leader. Someone, who has as much potential as Zeke, but who doesn’t yet possess any of his flaws. Someone, who is cunning and ruthless. Someone who will be able to success, where Zeke failed. There is only one man who can do this," he finished, and even from afar Petra could see a shine of adoration in his eyes.

Sannes scoffed, rolling his eyes, not moved by the passionate speech at all. "And who is that?"

"No one can achieve the greatness Zeke once possessed. Except," the man smiled, and the sight of it made shivers run down Petra's spine.

"His own brother."

[arvandus]

Touch (Pt 6)

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: 18+ only please!  Drug abuse/withdrawal, adult language/themes, heavy angst, past trauma/abuse, anxiety/panic attacks, PTSD, fluff, pining, slow burn, eventual emotional SMUT. *please pay attention to the chapter tags as these warnings will apply at different times*

Synopsis: When you first joined the LOV to lend your healing quirk, Dabi  terrified you.  Not interested in attachments, he wanted to keep it  that way.  That is, until he needs your help. (Slow burn, soft Dabi).

Special thank you to @salvator-heartbreaker​ who has helped me hash out this chapter and some future plot details; this would not be as amazing as it is without her help!

Chapter warning: Buckle up, y’all.  This chapter is LONG.  Like, 12k words long (separating it into multiple chapters was NOT an option).  Prepare yourself for a roller coaster of feels.  Also, please PLEASE be aware of the warning tags.

Recommended Chapter Songs: Overdose by grandson/The Drug In Me Is Reimagined by Falling in Reverse

Part 1  Part 5

Artwork credit to @hellowon31 on Twitter (https://twitter.com/hellowon31)

Part 6 - The Long Night

After Dabi left, you cleaned up the various items around the room.  You placed the pills back into your bag from where they were in your pocket. A moment later, you decided against that location and put the bottle under your pillow within your pillowcase. You changed your mind again, taking the pill bottle into the bathroom to stuff it with cotton.  It would keep the pills from rattling.  You returned the bottle to its hiding place under your pillow. If Dabi came back looking for more, you wanted to have them within reach and not where he’d immediately look for them. You placed the damp washcloth in your hamper and drank some water before lying in bed with your phone in your hand.

You were only on your phone for a few minutes before you felt sleep start to drag at your eyelids, so you turned off your light and put your phone on your nightstand.  Sleep was elusive, however.  You stared at the ceiling pensively.  Something nagged at your mind, but in your groggy, tired state, you couldn’t figure out what it was.  You felt each minute tick by with painstaking slowness, frequently checking the time on your phone while your thoughts ran a mile a minute.  It mulled over what had transpired, what was said and done, and how you felt… It was like flipping through an entire novel in a matter of seconds and then trying to describe a specific, obscure scene hidden within its pages.

By your fifth minute, you gave up and sat up in your bed.  Your hands went under your pillow, feeling the familiar bottle in your fingers.

Realization hit.  You quickly turned on your lamp. You pulled the bottle out of your pillowcase and spilled the contents out onto your comforter.  You counted the amount and your breath stopped.

No.

You counted again.

FUCK.

You always made it a point to know exactly how many pills you had of anything you carried, but especially so for these pills.

You quickly put the remaining medication back into the bottle, counting them as they fell in with a tap.  Then, you got up out of your bed and hid the pills inside an unused pair of shoes which you then put into a black duffle bag in the top of your closet.  You only hoped Dabi didn’t come looking for them. At this rate, if he was willing to steal from you, then he’d be willing to rifle through your things.

Betrayal, cold and hard, soaked into your bones.  You tried to reason with yourself, to talk yourself through what you knew about addiction, what you had learned in med school.  But taking what was learned in a textbook, with no emotional attachment, and applying it into this situation did little to assuage the feelings roiling within you.  This wasn’t hypothetical.  This was real.

Even worse than the betrayal was the cold hard fact: Dabi could kill himself.  And all because you left him alone for less than a minute. Did he already take them?  How long ago did he leave your room?  Your brain didn’t have time to do the math as you dashed across the hallway to his door.

You didn’t bother to knock – not this time.  Thankfully, Dabi must have been so out of it that he forgot to lock it.  You barreled in like a fiery chariot knocking down Hell’s gate, slamming the door behind you loudly enough to wake the dead.  You didn’t care.  In that moment, nothing else mattered but getting those pills back.

Dabi sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands.  He looked up at you groggily when the door slammed.  His movements were noticeably slower, his pallor a sickly grey and shining with sweat.

“You took my pills.” You seethed.  “Give them back.”

“What?” Dabi slurred.

“My pills, Dabi! Three of them are missing!  Give them to me!”

He looked down at his hands as if confused by what they were.  “I don’t have them.” He replied.

“Bull-fucking-shit!” you shot back.  “I swear to God, Dabi, I will search this room until I find them.”

He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.  “I already took them.  And stop fucking shouting.”

“You what???” You gasped.  “What the fuck, Dabi??  Why would you do that??”

He stood up now, angry at your presence, at your justified rage that he knew he was responsible for but didn’t want to face.  He was barely keeping himself together as it was.  His insides felt like a writhing, fiery snake.  His head felt filled with cotton.  And underneath it all, the pain hummed low like a purring beast.  He couldn’t decide if the pills he took were actually working or not.  The relief he thought they’d give him evaded him like a shadow.

“I told you I needed more.” Dabi replied.

“Dabi, you can O.D. on this!” you shot back.

“I’m not gonna O.D.” Dabi scoffed as he swayed on his feet.  He fought the sickness rolling over him in waves, great crests threatening to drown him like a raging sea.  He didn’t need this right now.  Not with you here.  Fuck. When did he get so fucking weak? 

Your body instantly became poised to catch him if he fell.  He needed to throw up what he took. That was the only option.  Your mind frantically tried to assess if he was weak enough for you to overpower him, to try to put your fingers down his throat to trigger his gag reflex.

“Your drugs are weak as shit compared to what I was taking before.  I can handle it.” He continued. “I know what I’m doing.” His eyes were unfocused as they tried to stare down at you.

Suddenly, the wave crested, higher than he could tread.  Immediately his mouth began to water in sickly preparation, his gag reflex kicking in while his gut clenched.  He stumbled to the bathroom, shoving you aside in the process, just in time to empty the contents of his stomach.  It was clear, made of only the water he drank and the partially dissolved pills that he had stolen.

A wave of relief washed over you while Dabi emptied what remained of the drugs into the toilet.  A part of you was still angry, wanting to give him an ‘I told you so,’ but you held back, instead keeping an eye on him from the bathroom doorway to make sure he was okay.

Once he was done, he leaned back against the bathroom wall, a pained grimace on his face, the metal rings pulling along his cheeks.  His breaths were ragged and heavy.  “Fuck.” He muttered.  He should have eaten the stupid crackers.  What a fucking waste.

Once you were sure he was okay for the moment, you paced back into the bedroom to try to calm your nerves.  He threw up what he took.  That was good.  Of course, that also meant there was no telling how long your meds would stay in his system now, and once they started to wear off, he’d continue to suffer through withdrawal since you couldn’t give him more right away. This was just the beginning for him.

A knock on the door resounded into the room, interrupting your thoughts.

“Don’t answer it.” Dabi rasped from his spot next to the toilet.

You stared at him for a moment and waited while discomfort settled over you like an itchy blanket.  You understood his need for privacy, but you also needed help… at least to have someone bring some water and food. It was going to be a long night and at this rate, Dabi was going to become severely dehydrated

Another knock came through, more persistent this time.

“Dabi,” called Toga’s voice. “Are you okay in there???”

Twice’s muffled voice followed.  “He probably wants to be left alone.  Fuck this guy.”

“I’m not gonna just leave him, Twice.  You heard him in there.” Toga replied in annoyance.

Dabi groaned in frustration, his head in his shaking hands in denial.  Why did it have to be Toga of all people?  She was annoyingly persistent, poking her nose where it didn’t belong and not taking hints when her prying wasn’t welcome.  The last thing he wanted was her and Twice standing outside his door while he hurled into the stinking toilet.  They’d probably barge in without permission.  You seeing him like this was bad enough – but at least he could excuse your involvement as the team’s medic, even if the vulnerability ate away at him. But letting them see him like this?  He’d rather light everything on fire.

“Make them go away.” He whispered hoarsely.

You leapt at the opportunity, rushing to the door.  You opened it to see Twice in his usual gear and Toga in a pink pajama set, her hair pulled back into twin buns.  Her hand was outstretched as if ready to grasp an invisible doorknob.

“Hey guys.” You said through a fake bubbly smile.  “It’s okay, I’m in here with him.”

“What the hell is going on??” Twice demanded.

“We heard a door slam, and yelling, and I’m pretty sure I heard someone throwing up.” Toga said crossing her arms.

They heard yelling – did they hear what you had shouted at Dabi?  About him taking your drugs?  You mentally scolded yourself for being so loud earlier.  There had to be some way you could play it off.

You felt your skin get hot with embarrassment.  “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.  I’m helping him out.”

“What’s wrong?” Toga asked nosily.  “Is Dabi hungover?  He sounds like he’s hungover.”

“Stomach flu.” You improvised.  You hoped they believed it.  If they did, it’d give Dabi a reason to be left alone by the other league members for a few days while you helped him out.

Neither of them showed any doubt with your explanation.  Toga made a disgusted face while Twice sighed. “Well, that’s a fucking relief. But keep the damn noise down!”

You smirked at his dual reactions.  “Sorry, Twice.”

“Do you need anything?” Toga asked.  “Water? Food?”

“Drugs?” Twice chimed in.

You froze like a deer in headlights for a moment before you realized he probably meant the kind that wasn’t illegal.

“Water and food would be appreciated.  Something easy on the stomach, like crackers.  And bananas if we have any left.  I already have the other supplies I need.” You commented.  Then, you remembered - Shit.  Your supply bag was still in your room….

“Sure thing, big sis!” Toga replied through a cheery smile, her fangs prominent.  “Come on, Twice.  You can help me carry stuff.”  Twice followed after her and you closed the door with a breath of relief before the sound of Dabi retching again made you go check on him.

His fingers grasped the toilet seat while his body shook, his knuckles as white as the porcelain they held onto.   Spit dangled from his parted lips, his nose running, his eyes squeezed shut as he fought his body’s reactions to his poor choices.

After a minute, he leaned back and carelessly wiped his face with his bare arm, the fluids glistening on his skin in the light of the bathroom.

His face was pulled into a grimace, eyes squeezed shut against the brightness, his body slumped against the wall.  “You should have taken Twice up on his offer.” He said with a forced grin through wet lips.

“Not funny, Dabi.” You scolded.  “Drugs are the last thing you need.  Besides, you know that’s not what he meant.”

“Well I certainly don’t think water and some fucking bananas are going to fix this.” He replied sourly.

“Better than your solution of taking six of my pills.” You shot back.  “A lot of good that did you, huh?”

He opened his eyes to give you a cold glare, his mouth opening to protest.  But his words were cut short by another round of vomiting, nothing coming up but thin strings of yellow bile from his empty stomach while his gut spasmed and clenched.  You furrowed your brow.  His nausea was getting worse, his vomiting more frequent. You wanted to use your quirk to alleviate his pain, but you couldn’t.  Not for this.  If his body couldn’t register the pain signals his gut was sending to his brain, then there was a chance the vomiting would stop.  Throwing up was what he needed to make sure the stolen pills were out of his system.

Even aside from the vomiting, there was the issue of using your quirk too much, too soon.  You could no longer fall back on your pills to manage your own pain if you pushed yourself too far.  Your lower back itched uncomfortably, as if the very thought woke up the scarred nerves there, old memories threatening to follow in their wake. You pushed them aside forcefully by focusing on the man in front of you.

If you over-exerted yourself too soon, you wouldn’t be able to help him later when things got worse. Once these pills wore off, which you weren’t sure when that would happen, you wouldn’t be able to give him new ones right away.  You were already short three pills after his little stint, and even if you did give him pills, his body might still reject them if it wasn’t ready for them.  That would only make things exponentially worse. It was better to skip a dosage now and get back on track with the remaining medication you had.  You’d pair what you’d allotted for him with your own quirk as an added relief; you only hoped the combination would be adequate until his pills became available for pickup.

Once he was done dry heaving, you handed him a hand towel from the hanging bar next to you. You had no idea if it was clean – he probably used it to dry his hands after washing them - but it didn’t really matter.  It was better than using his arm again.  He took it in silence, his eyes avoiding yours in what you could only describe as shame. Your heart clenched. You knew he didn’t mean for this to happen.  No one ever does.  You wanted to reassure him, to let him know it was all going to be okay, but words escaped you.  How could you even begin to tell him something like that while he’s retching into a toilet in the wee hours of the night? 

Before you could think of something to say, there was a familiar knock on the door.  You forced yourself to step away and answer it. Sure enough, Toga and Twice were there, their arms full of offerings.

“Here you go.” Toga said, her arms filled with six water bottles.  Twice also presented an array of items in his arms – a box of saltine crackers, some canned soup with a pull-top lid, and a couple of bananas.

“Thanks.” You replied, taking the items and placing them on Dabi’s desk.  You were grateful neither of them tried to enter while you unloaded their arms; perhaps they really did believe Dabi had the flu and were too scared of catching it.

“You can go back to bed if you want.  We’ll be fine.” you suggested.

“Let us know if you need anything else!” Toga offered with a toothy grin.  You smiled your gratitude and closed the door as they turned to leave.

Once you heard their footsteps fade down the hall followed by the closing of bedroom doors, you returned to the bathroom with a water bottle in hand.  You knew food wasn’t going to be an option for a while, but at least this might help.  Even if he threw it back up, it was better than bile.  But before you could even hand the bottle to him, he convulsed, hugging the toilet again, gagging and coughing.  You knelt next to him patiently, ready to offer the water in your hand or the towel now forgotten on floor… whatever he needed.

He spit the drool dangling from his mouth and continued to hover over the toilet bowl with a groan. Everything hurt.  His abs, his throat, his sinuses… his head was still muddled from a variety of factors – dehydration, lack of sleep, the drugs. He hated himself, reduced to a useless fucking puddle like the loser he was, and all while you were here watching him.  You, who even though he let you down - even though he stole from you - continued to stay and care for him.  He didn’t want that for you, and he didn’t want the guilt of your presence continuously reminding him of how he failed you while his body fell apart on him.

“Get out of here.” He said gruffly.  “You don’t need to be here for this.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” You replied. You knew he was pushing you away and you understood why, but that didn’t matter to you. Sure, you were mad at what he had done, but you also understood he couldn’t help it.  His obvious shame was apology enough for now, and his well-being was more important to you than his pride.

“Leave.” He growled.

“I can’t.”  You could feel tears start to sting at the corners of your eyes.  You didn’t want to leave him.  Not like this.

More dry retching overtook him, and guilt began to creep on you like a thorny vine, choking your words from your throat.  He couldn’t fight you on this even if he wanted to; was it really fair to stay when he asked you to go?  He made his decision clear – he wanted to be alone.  Where were you supposed to draw the line between forcing your care on him for his safety versus respecting his need for privacy?

You stared at him as you warred within yourself.  He obviously wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, and on the upside, he did throw up some of those pills.  But what about later, when the pills wear off and the hunger returns?  Could you trust that he would come to you, looking for what he knew you had? Or would he go elsewhere, and risk his safety on something potentially worse? You wanted to respect his wishes, but your body wouldn’t move.

Dabi’s world was spinning; round and round he went, as if the toilet had been flushed and he and his rejected pills were being washed away like the trash that he knew he was. He was breathing heavily now, painful groans falling from his lips.  “Get the fuck out, Y/N.” 

The sound of your name on his lips for the first time smacked you, your breath catching painfully behind the lump in your throat.  You struggled to suppress the tears threatening to unleash themselves down your face.  He said your name.  He had never said it before.  You had imagined that the first time he’d say your name would be a sign of trust and intimacy.  This wasn’t that at all.  Instead, it was a weapon, a foul word that stung you like a whip.

He didn’t want you here.  Maybe your presence really was just making it worse for him.  He’d focus more on not wanting you around and fighting your hep than he would actually trying to fight his withdrawal.  You had to leave and hope that he would be able to come out of this on his own.

Without a word, you loosened the cap on the water bottle and set it on the floor next to him as a final offering before getting up off the cold tile to leave.  You left the bathroom, while the sounds of his continued retching filled your ears.  Each cough and gag from his battered throat deepened your guilt, reminding you how your irresponsibility had contributed to him getting into this mess.  Yes, he stole from you.  It still angered you.  But at the same time, you were the one who had all your mental faculties and still left drugs within his reach when he came to you for help.

You placed two water bottles and the crackers on the nightstand for him.  Then, you took the half-full trash bag out of his trash can and made sure it was near his bed, just in case he needed to throw up again later.

With one more glance at him through the bathroom doorway while he sat doubled over the toilet, you made your way to the door. 

Please be safe, please be safe… you silently pleaded.

Just as you put your hand on the doorknob, you heard a thud.

“Dabi?  Are you okay?” you called.

Only silence greeted you. A cold panic set in and you rushed into the bathroom to find Dabi unconscious on the floor, face down in a puddle of water.  The water bottle you had left had tipped over, the cold liquid spreading across the bathroom tile and soaking into Dabi’s clothes.  You pushed your panic aside as you immediately switched into emergency mode.  You knelt by his side and rolled him over onto his back, cupping his face in your hand. His skin felt hot to the touch.

“Dabi??”  You called.  No response.  You checked for a pulse and felt it fluttering beneath your fingers. “DABI??” you shouted as you lightly smacked his cheek.  He didn’t respond.  His color was lifelessly pale, but his chest rose and fell in slow breaths.  He was breathing.  You checked his pupils – dilated.  He definitely still had your drugs in his system.  How much, you weren’t sure.  Once again, you were grateful that he had managed to throw up what he could.

His skin was burning. Was it already hotter than a moment ago? Was it a fever from the withdrawal? Or was it his quirk acting up, going haywire without him being able to consciously be in control of himself? The idea of his cremation randomly unleashing itself in the small bathroom made your throat dry up with dread.

You had to cool him down somehow. Dabi’s bathroom had a walk-in shower just a foot away, and you gave a silent thankful prayer to the universe.  A bathtub would have made this entire fiasco exponentially more difficult.

First, you had to remove his clothes.   They were trapping in his body heat at the moment, compounding his fever.

It wasn’t easy.  Dabi was lean, but he certainly didn’t lack muscle, and what he lacked for in bulk, he made up for in height.  It was awkward in the small space as you pulled his sweatpants off of him, exposing scarred legs with metal staples curving along his thighs.  You left his boxers on.  You couldn’t bring yourself to take them off of him while he was unconscious.  His head lolled to the side while his eyes, now half-lidded, stared with an empty, unconscious gaze.  His shirt was next, wet with sweat, water, and specks of bile. The fresh bandage that you had recently applied fell off as soon as the cotton fabric wasn’t there to hold it in place. The wound was healing, but it was still pink and raw.  The slightest amount of pressure would reopen the sensitive tissue, undoing your hard work.

You needed your med kit.

Once he was undressed, you rolled him to his side.  You didn’t want him to aspirate if he ended up vomiting again.  Then, you ran the shower to let the water warm slightly.  It needed to be lukewarm – cool enough to bring down his fever, but not so cold that it would shock his system and make him shiver.  Shivering helped to increase body temperature, and that was the last thing he needed.

Once the water was running, you took one last look at the man laying unconscious on his side before making a mad dash out of his room and into yours to grab your medical bag by your bed.  There was no time to double check the supplies in it; you only hoped you had what you needed.  You grabbed a couple of clean towels from your own bathroom before running back into his room, thankfully unnoticed in the empty hall.  It took less than a minute.

You bandaged his wound back up quickly, while he was on his side.  It wasn’t the neatest work, but it would do for now.  Already, his body temperature was noticeably higher than when you had left him.  There was no time to check it with your thermometer - it was a race against the clock, now.

You rolled Dabi back onto his back to try and rouse him once again, picking him up slightly so he lay in your lap, while you called his name and cupped his cheek.  His eyes fluttered open slightly, his head shifting at the sound of your voice, before his eyes closed again.  You cursed under your breath and laid him back down the way you had him before while you checked the water temperature.  It was warm enough, or so you hoped, since his own temperature kept rising.  You turned off the water briefly to retrieve the unconscious man.

Finally, you were ready. You tried to grab Dabi from under his armpits, but his skin was almost too hot to touch for an extended period of time.  Definitely quirk related.  You grabbed a spare towel and tried again, this time protecting your hands and arms against his scalding skin.  You wrapped your hands around his chest, your arms under his armpits, and began to drag him to the shower stall.  You tried your best to be mindful of his scars and staples, hoping that dragging him across the floor wouldn’t tear anything.  For a shower that was so close in proximity, it took a painstakingly long time to get him into it and properly positioned before you could step out and turn the shower back on.

Lukewarm water sputtered out of the showerhead, drenching his body from the chest down.  The water steamed upon contact, reacting to the heat rolling off of him like asphalt on a hot summer’s day.  Dabi stirred slightly, roused to consciousness by the sensation and the change in temperature.  He looked around groggily until his blue eyes settled on you.  You waited for him to say something, but no words came as his dazed eyes seemed to lose focus.  The only sign that he was still somewhat conscious was the occasional slow blink while he watched you take a wet washcloth and squeeze it over his head to let the cool water soak his hair and dribble down his face and neck.  The water trickled down his forehead to his brow, and you tenderly wiped it away with the washcloth to keep it from getting into his eyes.  You followed the contours of his face with the cool cloth, along his jawline, across his cheeks.

Dabi closed his eyes for minutes at a time, only opening them briefly as you adjusted the water temperature slightly and again as your ran your fingers through his wet hair, moving the dripping strands from his forehead so you could see his face better. Color slowly began to creep back into his skin, the water no longer steamed.  What you were doing was working, and you were grateful – so grateful – that you hadn’t left him yet.  The rush of time slowed down.  Dabi’s eyes closed again as you quietly hummed to yourself as you cared for him. It helped to calm your nerves and pass the time.

After what felt like ages, you finally checked his temperature, this time with the temporal thermometer you had in your bag.  The number that beeped back at you satisfied you enough to turn the water off.  You gave Dabi’s shoulder a small shake, and his eyes opened to look at you under heavy lids.

“Come on.” You whispered. “I need you to stand up.”

He licked his chapped lips as he braced himself into a standing position with your help and made the two feet distance to sit on his toilet, his wet boxers dribbling puddles of water onto the floor.  You covered him in two towels, one for his head and one for his shoulders, before you stepped out of the bathroom for a moment to get him fresh clothes.

You realized quickly that he’d need to change out of his wet boxers – something you hadn’t considered earlier when you undressed him. You gulped briefly.  Could he even do that on his own right now?  He still was out of it and needed assistance just to stand.

There was no way around it.  You’d have to help him.

You grabbed a pair of fresh boxers, black jersey shorts, and a white tee before returning to the bathroom. He was in the position you left him, the only difference being that he was now leaning against the wall while he sat on the toilet.  His eyes were closed at first but they opened slightly when you nudged him gently.  He still looked completely out of it.

Even so, you talked to him. “Dabi,” you whispered.  “I have to change your boxers so I can put dry clothes on you.  I’m going to help you stand up.”

He gave a slow blink but made no attempt to move or speak.  As you wrapped your arms around his chest to help him up, he didn’t fight you, leaning his weight into you just enough to rise slightly from his sitting position. You weren’t sure how conscious he really was for this.  Was he aware of what was going on, of what you were doing?  Or was his body going through the motions, barely registering his environment?  You hoped it was the latter. 

“I won’t look.” You promised.  You looped your fingers into the wet waistband and pulled it down, before letting him sit back down on the toilet.  With your eyes respectfully averted, you pulled the wet material off the rest of the way down his legs and off his feet.  You quickly dried his legs off before grabbing the clean boxers you had set up on top of his sink, the only dry spot left in the bathroom.  Through the use of touch, you were able to put his feet into them and pull them up just above his bent knees.  His shorts followed until both items were pulled up as high as they would go in his sitting position.

“One more time.” You said. With him braced against you, you grabbed both waistbands and pulled his clothes on.  A moment later, he was sitting back down, properly covered.  You proceeded with your administrations now that the hard part was done. You dried his hair with the towel still on his head, and then dried his torso and arms using the towel on his shoulders.  By the time you were helping him with his tee shirt, he was starting to show some cognizance, pushing his arms out through the holes himself once you got them into position.

Quickly you flushed the toilet he was sitting on, washing away the contents from earlier, and gathered the soiled clothes and towels from the floor before taking them to the laundry hamper in his room.  It was still dark outside, and you wondered what time it was.  3:30am?  4?  You had no way of knowing; you had left your phone in your room.  With the situation no longer critical, your adrenaline finally started to drop.  Exhaustion pulled at you, a heavy blanket threatening to smother you until you surrendered.  You were so tired, that even Dabi’s bed looked inviting at this point.

You forced yourself to keep going. 

You grabbed one of the water bottles from his nightstand, hoping that you could finally get him to drink something now that the vomiting was over and he was starting to gain awareness again.

When you came back to the bathroom, Dabi looked up at you as you entered, his eyes truly seeing you for the first time.

“You’re still here.” He slurred, his voice raspy.

“You noticed, huh?” you gave a small smirk, an attempt to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

He was quiet for a moment and looked down, confusion on his face.  “I told you to leave.”

“Yeah, well I was going to, but then you passed out on the bathroom floor.” You replied.  “I couldn’t just leave you there.”

He didn’t respond. The fight in him was gone for the moment.  He was placid now, almost childlike.  You opened the water bottle and handed it to him, but he turned his head away.

“Please, Dabi…” you begged.

He looked back at the item in your hand and stared at it for a moment before finally taking it and taking a small sip.  He grimaced painfully.

Of course; after all that vomiting he did earlier, his throat probably hurt like hell.

You pointed at his neck. “May I?”  You hoped he understood.

He seemed to.  He lowered the water bottle from his lips to allow you access to his throat, and gently you placed your hand over it, feeling the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed against your cool touch.  Your quirk seeped into him like honey into a cake, coating his throat and washing the burning pain away.

He swallowed again, this time without flinching.  His eyes stared at you, still hazy, but with the hint of something lively in them –a flicker of kindling.  He took your hand from his neck and moved it down to his abdomen.

“Here.” He spoke.

You understood, but you hesitated.  Would you be able to keep your quirk focused on just the nerves of his muscles?  Or would it go deeper than that, impacting the nerves in his gut? That could have its own effects – he won’t feel the burning in his gut, but he also won’t feel hunger for a while, and may not feel that urge to vomit again even if his body needed to later.

“Just a little bit.” You replied.

You felt your quirk trickle into him, like water through cracks in concrete.  Once your quirk felt the resistance of the deeper layers of muscle and tissue, you pulled your hand away.  If you pushed any further, it’d be too much.  He might feel some pain still, but it should be mitigated at least.

“Drink more now. Please.” You ordered.

He obliged, drinking the water in large, thirsty gulps for the first time that evening.  Once he was done, he wiped his mouth and handed the empty water bottle to you.  You set it on his sink next to the faucet, in case it needed to be refilled later on.

“Come on,” you said. You kneeled down and put his arm around your shoulder, helping him stand.  “Let’s get you into bed.”

He didn’t respond; instead, he let you lead him out of the bathroom to the edge of his bed where he fell into it.  You debated on whether or not you could leave him there and finally retreat to your room for much-needed rest, but you decided against it.  The meds that were flowing in his system were going to start wearing off soon.  He will be hungering for more, and you won’t be able to give it to him this time.  If you left him alone here, he’d either somehow end up back in your room hunting for that hidden bottle, or he’d go out on the street to try to score whatever he could, no matter the consequences.

There was no choice. You had to stay.  And when his pain became too much, you’d help out as best you could.  Maybe you could mitigate the symptoms enough to last him until tomorrow evening.  By then, you could start him back up on your pills.

You hoped you could handle it. You’d already used your quirk three times tonight - twice just now, and once earlier when you treated his burn in your room.  Already, the environment seemed a little harsher to you.  Light was brighter, noises louder… It wasn’t too terrible just yet, but all of your senses were heightened more than they were before.  The damaged nerves on your back, always hidden by your shirt, itched irritably. It was still bearable – for now. 

A sense of trepidation filled you.  You’d gone so long without over-exerting your quirk… it had taken only one time to experience it, and you vowed to never let it happen again.  Then again, you never expected to be single-handedly dealing with drug addiction and withdrawal for a man who takes enough opioids to take down an elephant.

You peaked at him in his bed where he lay curled up on his side.  His eyes were closed for the moment, but you weren’t sure if he was asleep or not.  Without disturbing him, you managed to steal a spare pillow from his bed.  Then, with a heavy, resigned sigh, you laid down in front of his door, his pillow your only comfort.  If he tried to leave, he’d have to go through you.  The window was unguarded, but you weren’t too worried – you were three stories up.  The building was an old hotel, so all fire escapes were located at the end of the hall, and he was in no condition to try to climb down the rusty drainpipes.

Despite the hardness of the floor and the coldness of the air, sleep claimed you within seconds, the scent of Dabi enveloping you.

As you slept, Dabi stirred restlessly in his bedsheets, his mind drifting between a vague wakefulness and dreams.

There was humming. Someone was singing.  It soothed him.

He blinked.

You were talking to him, but he couldn’t make out the words.  Something cool and wet passed across his forehead.  Was this real?

He blinked.

Your face peered up at him, filled with a loving concern as your hand cupped his cheek, your thumb stroking across his stitches softly.  Was THIS real?

He blinked.

He stared at himself, his scars gone, his hair a deep red.  His blue eyes echoed his other self like an infinite row of mirrors.

He blinked.

He tried to speak, but pills kept falling from his mouth, choking his words.  He couldn’t breathe.  His other self stood before him, hands cupped and outstretched as the pills filled them and overflowed, scattering over the floor like a child’s marbles.

He blinked.

All he could see was a blue sky, but there were sounds.  The sound of children’s laughter, the sound of a ball being kicked. The was a faint smell of dirt in the air.  He was happy.

He blinked.

A woman sat near a window, bathed in sunlight with a white bundle cradled in her arms.  Something about her was oddly familiar, yet he couldn’t place her.  She sang. “My little Shouto.  My sweet, little Shouto…”  A baby cooed.  Her face turned to him, but her features were hazy, hard to see through the dust that danced in the sunbeams.  She reached out a long, slender hand.  “Come here, Touya.  Meet your little brother.”

He blinked.

He saw the woman again, standing at the end of a lake dock in a white dress, her hair billowing like a white flag of surrender.  The lake was smooth as glass, a white mist ghosting over its glossy waters.  He knew her.

Mother.

He tried to call to her, but his words were silent, falling from voiceless lips like birds with broken wings.  She put one foot out over the water and fell silently, disappearing beneath the murky depths without a splash.  A cold dread filled him.  Frantically, he ran towards the water, but before he could dive in, the water on the lake erupted into orange, writhing flames.  The wood beneath his feet crackled and charred, flames licking at his legs, his arms, his face.  The dock broke and suddenly he was drowning, boiling water filling his lungs.  Unseen hands grasped at his limbs, pulling him down, down, into the darkness, his flesh turning to ash beneath their touch.

Dabi woke with a shout, his eyes wide and filled with a wild fear.  He felt restrained, his legs unable to move.

“Hold him down.” Said a familiar, gruff voice.  The smell of cigarette smoke choked him.  “I told you this would hurt, kid.”

Suddenly, your face came into view, hovering over him with your hands on his shoulders, shaking him. “Dabi.  Dabi!” you called.  You stared down at him with worry, dark circles under your bloodshot, tired eyes.

You were here.

The waking nightmare lifted and suddenly he was gasping for air like a deep-sea diver, heavy breaths filling his lungs as he broke through the surface into consciousness.  “Y/N?” he said, his voice sounding strangely strangled to his ears.  His eyes looked around frantically, taking in his room.  A dark twilight was starting to emerge from the clouded, early morning sky outside, dark blue-grey contrasting with the yellow light seeping from the edges of his closed his bathroom door.   The colors framed your face as you spoke to him

“Hey, it’s okay.” You said soothingly.  “It was just a dream.”

His bedsheets were tangled around his bare legs like a snake.  Dabi kicked them off and sat up in his bed with a wince.  “I need some water.”  An open water bottle appeared in front of him, which he gratefully took and drank.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

Dabi handed the bottle back to you without looking.  “I’m fine.” He said gruffly; more so than he intended.  But he wasn’t fine.  Everything hurt.  His head was pounding.  His damaged nerves were starting to scream while his body felt as if it had been forced into a box that was too small, aching in places he never thought it could ache. Underneath it all, humming low like a wild animal growling a warning, sat an uneasiness - a dark, nervous energy - threatening to envelop him and wrap him up tightly in despair.  Flashes of dreams – or were they memories? – threatened to drag him back down into the darkest parts of himself.

Dabi grappled for control, but he was losing.

You placed a concerned hand over his and he withdrew from your touch, the affection foreign to him. The heavy weight of shame sat deep in his gut as he took in your weary face.   Somewhere, beneath the noisy din of his mind, a thought occurred to him: this was taking its toll on you too. 

“Why are you still here?” he asked as he laid back onto his damp pillow, his arm over his eyes.

“Because you need me.” You replied.

He clenched his jaw. “No, I don’t.”  The words were feeble and weak in his mouth, not an ounce of truth in them.  You both knew it.

“I’m too tired to argue with you.” You stated as you rubbed at the bridge of your nose. 

“Then go to bed.” He replied.

You wanted to growl in frustration, your own exhaustion making your fuse especially short.  If he could just not fight you every step of the way, that’d be great.

“The last time I almost left, you fainted on the bathroom floor in a puddle of water while your body tried to combust itself.  So no, I’m not leaving.”

Your tone allowed no more room for argument, your words forcing Dabi to sulk silently.  He sat up from his reclined position, his long, scarred legs swinging over the side of the bed to plant firmly on the ground.  His leg began to bounce and jitter, an attempt to relieve the irritated, unfocused energy that swirled inside of him like a cyclone. He felt like hell.  He was a desert, his body and mind parched as the drugs in his system began to dry up. Even the slightest bit of movement set his nerves ablaze, pain coursing over his skin like a wildfire.  He was tired… so fucking tired.

You reached across him, your proximity allowing him to smell the shampoo in your hair as your arm and shoulder pressed against him. For the briefest of moments, he felt something akin to peace break through his stormy mind like sunlight.  It was short-lived though.  Your closeness left as quickly as it had come, taking the sunshine with it.

“Hey…” you whispered next to him, a pack of crackers in your hand.  You opened the packaging and handed him one.  “Try to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.” He replied.

“I don’t care.  You need to eat.” You replied.

He didn’t have the strength to fight you.  Begrudgingly, he took the cracker and nibbled on it.  There was no pleasure in it, his jaw going through the motions like a machine as he chewed and swallowed.

You continued to talk to him, your voice soft, as you handed him another cracker.  “You’re going into withdrawal again.” You stated.

“I know.”

“It might actually feel worse this time.”

“It does.”

Your face blurred as another wave of fiery pain washed over him, making him double over, the cracker crumbling like ashes in his fist.  He gasped and panted against it, his body shaking from the stress.

You placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Let me help you.”  You said. “Let me use my quirk.”

For the briefest of moments, Dabi’s pained expression lifted, and you could see the desperation in his eyes. “It won’t be enough.” He replied.

“Let me try.” You begged.

He stared at you.  It was either this, or drugs.

He nodded.

You took his hand in yours and began to trace your fingers along his staples, your quirk seeping in. He inhaled a sharp breath.  The pain dissipated where your touch landed. It soaked into his aching bones like heavy rainfall on a burning forest.  There was a moment of clarity, the sensation so shocking that it distracted him from his suffering.    Slowly you let your hands follow up the length of his arm, following his scars and leaving a humming numbness in its wake.  Then, you took his other hand to continue the same treatment on the other side.

Dabi stared at his painless hand in vague fascination.  It didn’t seem like it belonged to him.  His vision blurred, memory replacing reality.

His hands were smaller now, the stitches gone.  The skin was bubbled and blistered, and he could hear his own quiet sobs as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Hey, sweetie.” A soft voice called.  Pale, white, delicate hands wrapped around his own damaged ones.

He looked up to see his mother smiling at him.  It was a sad smile, full of love, but never quite reaching her tired eyes.

“It hurts.” He sobbed.

“I know.” She soothed. “It’s okay.”  A cool frost began to ghost over his damaged skin, soothing the burning, throbbing pain.

“Why does my quirk hurt me, mommy?” he heard himself ask.

“It’s my fault, honey.” She whispered, tears stinging her grey eyes.

“It’s not your fault.” Dabi whispered.

Your touch on his collarbone pulled him back to reality on a thin, white thread.

“What was that?” you asked, your fingers pausing in their work.

“What?” he replied, disoriented.

“You said ‘it’s not your fault.’” You replied with a confused look.  “What’s not my fault?”

“Nothing.” He responded as he turned his head away from your prying gaze.

You didn’t pursue it. Dabi was grateful.  Instead, he felt your cool touch return to his collarbone to trace along the muscles of his neck and shoulders.  While your touch helped initially, the cloud of suffering followed close behind from the places you had yet to reach, a parade of aches and throbs blaring their horns against his brain.  His body focused on the noise and continued to shiver and shake while he struggled to keep himself focused.

His face was next, so you cupped his cheek in your hand and gently returned his averted gaze to you. His blue eyes locked with yours, and you stared into them for a moment, captivated by their beauty, aching with their suffering.  He didn’t deserve this.  Any of this. You could only hope that what you were doing was enough, that it could make a difference.

Your fingers rushed and fumbled clumsily across the lower half of his face and beneath his eyes. You couldn’t quite explain why.  Perhaps it felt too personal, even after all you two had been through so far.  You barely touched his lower lip, the sensation of its roughness sending electric tingles up your fingertips.  You desperately wanted to slow down, take your time, and cherish.  But you couldn’t. Such exploration was far too intimate to happen here, now, under such heavy circumstances.  

You paused for a moment in your administrations as sweat started to break across your brow.  The light from the bathroom felt unusually bright to your eyes and you could feel a headache start to form.  A shiver began to take you as your body became increasingly sensitive to the cool temperature of the room, each soft gust of air from the open window feeling like an icy blast.  Even your hearing was more sensitive – you could hear Dabi’s heavy breaths as his body struggled; you could hear the early morning sounds of songbirds beginning to sing as the sky gradually lightened outside.  The rumble of a car passing by on the street sounded like a freight train. All of your nerves were beginning to tingle, and you became increasingly aware of the texture of the clothing on your skin, the feel of Dabi’s staples beneath your hands.  Most of all, the scarred nerves on your back were beginning their own little dance, sending small shoots of tingling pain up your spine.

It was already happening. The feedback from your quirk was starting to cross the threshold into painful overstimulation.  It was happening far sooner than you had hoped. But then again, you’d already used your quirk three times within the past eight hours, and your body was already at its limits in other ways. Even quirks could be impacted by physical fatigue, dehydration, hunger… it was like trying to run a marathon on zero sleep and an empty stomach. 

Dread settled into your empty gut, making a home there out of wild, thorny weeds.  They tangled themselves in your limbs, slowing your movements as your mind began to race. Would you really be able to help him?

Your worried thoughts were interrupted by the sound of multiple ‘dings’ coming from Dabi’s phone that sat neglected on his nightstand, as a series of text messages came through.  Each ding vibrated your inner ear at the loudness. A few minutes later, you heard the sound of bedroom doors opening and closing in the hallway.  Your hands froze over Dabi’s skin as you waited and listened. Muffled voices vibrated on the other side of the thin walls, your sensitive ears picking up every word.

“Why the hell do Kurogiri and Shigaraki have us getting up so goddamn early?” Twice complained.

Spinner’s voice answered. “He said he’ll explain it to us downstairs.  Something about our next mission, I guess.  Something to do with the Yakuza.”

A loud yawn came from Toga. “Couldn’t it have waited?? I still need my beauty sleeeeeep….” She whined.

Magne’s voice soon followed.  “You’re already beautiful, sweetie.”

“You’re the best, Magne…”

Their voices faded as they entered the old elevator at the end of the hall, it’s off-key ding marking the closing of the doors.

A heavy silence followed. You and Dabi were alone now, the entire floor empty.  A confusing combination of relief and anxiety washed over you.  The privacy was good, but then again, there was no one around to help if you really needed it.

You returned your gaze to Dabi who sat in silence while his withdrawal continued to wash over him. If your quirk had helped so far, you couldn’t really tell.  His breaths were still labored and his vision unfocused as his body shook slightly.  He sat there as if waiting.  Waiting for you?  Or was he still falling in his mind, waiting to crash hard across the sharp jagged rocks of his withdrawal before you could catch him?

He had more scars you needed to tend to… on his legs, his back, his left side just below his ribs, and over his hips, the dark tissue disappearing beneath his shorts.  This wasn’t even counting the rest of the pain he felt everywhere else in his body simply from not having any drugs in his system.  You were only able to do damage control on the parts that hurt the most.  What if it wasn’t enough?  It wasn’t a possibility you had considered before.

You swallowed, your mouth and throat dry.  You had to try. 

“Let’s take off your shirt.” You said.  “It’ll make it easier for me to reach your other scars.”

He didn’t respond to you, his gaze unfocused.

Scars… scars….

The word echoed in his mind, and he followed it as it led him down an invisible road to another memory.

“Eww, look at his scars!” a kid said to his friend, his finger pointing. 

The friend wrinkled in disgust.  “Gross!”

“Dabi?” a voice called.  He turned and saw his sister.  His brow furrowed.  Something wasn’t right.  The name didn’t match the movement of her lips…

“Dabi??” your voice cut through, and the memory disappeared.

Dabi looked up at you, confused.  “Hm?”

“Your shirt.  We have to take it off.”

He silently lifted his shirt over his head, while you watched him with worry.  It wasn’t hard for you to figure out what was happening.  He was having long moments of non-responsiveness, getting repeatedly lost in his thoughts.  You didn’t know much about him, but you could hazard a guess that this guy probably did not have a happy backstory. Villains never did. No doubt the lack of drugs in his system was bringing up that backstory for him right now. The concern, however, was that that was something that was completely outside of your scope. Physical pain was one thing. Mental pain was an entirely different beast.  All you could hope for was that your physical treatments could help him enough that he could handle his mental issues by himself.

You took a moment to assess his body and how it was responding to your quirk.  His leg no longer bounced, and the shivering was reduced. He showed no hesitation or pain when he removed his shirt.  It was definitely doing something.

It gave you hope.

You kept going, your hands washing over wherever the scars presented themselves.  Your relief continued to pour into him, but it was impaired now, impacted by your body’s need to limit itself.  It was like holding your hand in increasingly hot water – at some point your body was going to recoil to protect you before you burned yourself.  You were pushing yourself dangerously far, but you didn’t have a choice.  If you stopped now, all of this would be for nothing.

As you struggled to treat every damaged part of him, your heightened senses became worse and worse. And the scar on your back… the one that you always kept covered, the one you never told anyone about because of what it represented… that hurt the most. It burned nearly as fresh as it had when you first got it, a hot searing pain, and panic started to seep into your mind.

You forced yourself to focus on the present, to keep yourself in control.  Your hands were on his legs now.  You counted the staples as your fingers passed over them.

One, two, three, four, five…

This was the reason you needed your meds.  Everything else you could handle on your own.  But the scar… the scar always hurt if you pushed too far, and the memories associated with it were never far behind.  And this was the farthest you had pushed in a long time

Six, seven, eight, nine…

But you couldn’t take your pills.  And you couldn’t cry.  Dabi would see it, and there was no telling how he would respond.  You silently clenched your jaw and hoped that he didn’t notice the sweat across your skin or the way your hands were shaking now.

Finally, your hands reached his feet, and you couldn’t deny your fingers rushed across the staples that marked the end of your journey.  Your touches were done, your quirk spent.  Your body was tensed now, each muscle tightened in an attempt to keep yourself together.

You looked back up at him and watched him intently, hopefully, forcing your eyes to focus on him and only him, as you tried to tune out the rest of the environment that was demanding your attention.  His body no longer shook.  But his eyes were still glazed over and his hands were still wrapped around his core. Was he still in pain?  Or was he holding himself for comfort?

Although the battleground of Dabi’s body was more balanced now with your help, the war within himself was far from over.  His muscles still ached where your hands had yet to reach, and his head still hurt almost to the point of sickness.  But most importantly, while your touch soothed the physical, the mental was left unbarred. The demons of the flesh were replaced by demons of the past, as memory after suppressed memory crashed back into Dabi’s defenseless mind.

“Don’t stop.” He begged in a strained whisper.  “I need more.”

Your eyes widened. You didn’t have any more. You gave everything you could and now you were hanging on by a thread.  

You no longer had the will or strength to hold in your emotions.  Tears slipped down your cheeks, wet roads marking your failure, your failure to subdue his suffering as you had promised.

“I can’t.” you sobbed.

He stared at you foggily, confused by the tears on your cheeks.  Were you crying?

“Are you crying??” demanded a deep, angry voice.

Dabi squeezed his eyes shut against the sound, as memory mingled with reality.  It sounded real.

Dabi knew he was hallucinating from the withdrawal.  Years of dependency had the wires in his brain crisscrossed, and now they were misfiring as it tried to process the trauma he had neglected.  Even so, he couldn’t shake the feeling that his father was here. He sensed his towering, overbearing presence, could feel the heat of the fire rolling off of his broad shoulders.  He wasn’t ‘Dabi’ in that moment. He was ‘Touya,’ small and weak. He couldn’t suppress the fear that followed, crawling up his skin like a thousand ants.  He wanted to run from it, but he couldn’t. 

This was hell. He was in hell.  He couldn’t make the voices stop, couldn’t make the memories disappear.  He was cornered, with no way out. 

Dabi craved surrender, to satisfy the addiction and let it wash over him. He wanted it drown his shame and agony, leaving nothing but that comforting, vengeful rage he was so used to. It was the only thing that worked, the only thing he believed in.  If he could just get the right drugs, enough drugs, then all of this would go away.  It was his only option.  Earlier was just a mistake, his broken mind reasoned.  He wouldn’t have thrown up those pills if he ate something, after all. This time… this time, he’d be okay.  He ate those crackers, didn’t he?

Desperation fueled him, fear and exhaustion consumed him as he locked his eyes on you with intense purpose. “I need those pills. NOW.” 

You shook your head vigorously as your words fell from your trembling lips. “I don’t have them.”  More tears slipped down your cheeks.

“ARE YOU CRYING??”

A child sobbed.

“Get up.  I SAID GET UP.”

Dabi’s blood went cold. He knew this memory.  No, no, no…

Dabi leapt out of his bed, nearly knocking you over in the process. 

His frantic eyes spotted your medical bag against the wall and before you could even get off the bed, he was dumping its contents all over the floor.  Scissors, gauze, over-the-counter pain medicine, and a variety of other items rolled across the hard wood with a clatter.  You winced.  He threw the bag aside when he couldn’t find what he wanted.

“Where did you put it??” Dabi demanded.  His world spun, but he managed to find the wall with his hand and used it to brace himself up.

“I can’t tell you that.” You replied as you stood up.

“So now you’re keeping them from me?” he seethed.

Now that he knew the drugs weren’t in the room, you knew he would try to leave.  You made yourself stand up, stifling a cry with a bite of your tongue as your shirt rubbed against your back, to position yourself between him and the door.  Fear coursed through you.  Even though he was weakened from all that he’d gone through, you knew he could easily overpower you.

You put your hands out towards him cautiously.  “We either deal with this now and be done with it, or we deal with it all over again later when the pills run out.  You’ve already been through so much.  Please, Dabi, don’t give up. You can fight this.”

“You’re pathetic.  Weak, like your mother.”

He covered his ears, a futile attempt at blocking the voices from within.  

He couldn’t.  He couldn’t fight this.  The pain was too much, the exhaustion too heavy, the emotions too raw. He needed the drugs.  His survival depended on it.  Without them, he would go insane.  Hadn’t he suffered enough?  He wanted to scream, to break things, to ignite his cremation and send everything to ash, including himself.  But he didn’t.  Perhaps it was the cowardice of dying, or the dissatisfaction of unfinished business, or even the simple fact that you were here with him.  Instead, he tried to step around you, but you matched him move for move, blocking his exit.  He was trapped.

“Get the fuck outta my way.” Dabi growled.

“No.” you said firmly, even as your body shook in fear and pain. Your eyes were trained on his hands. What if he decided to use his quirk?  He wouldn’t… would he?

His face contorted in rage. Betrayal, his mind seethed. You cared more about protecting your precious stash than you did about him. How could you be so fucking selfish?

“You just want to keep the pills for yourself.” He spat.

His accusation shocked you. “W-what?”

“Admit it.  You’re a fucking addict just like me. THAT’S WHY YOU WON’T LET ME HAVE ANY!”

“I’m not!” you protested.  “Dabi, I’m trying to help you!”

“I’m sorry!” Touya begged.  “Let me try again. I just wanna be like you!  I wanna be a hero, too!”

“You’ll NEVER be like me! You’re a DISGRACE!  A failed experiment!”

“No, no, NO!” Dabi shouted as he squeezed his eyes shut, his fists pounding his head.  He opened his eyes, a wildness in them that terrified you. He grabbed at you then, his long fingers wrapping around your biceps with shocking force as he prepared to physically move you from his path.  You cried out in pain, his touch like knives against your sensitive skin.

“Dabi, stop it, you’re hurting me!” you cried. 

Your frantic words cut through his crazed mind.  He stared at you, bewildered, taking in the terror in your eyes, the tears on your face. He saw his hands gripping you, your arms bent up in front of you defensively in fear. 

In fear of him.

He let you go, stumbling back a step.  He stared at his open palms in horror, his chest heaving.  He’d grabbed you.  Hurt you. It was his worst fear come to life.  He really was like him.

His hands morphed before his eyes, the scars and staples vanishing, and suddenly they were bigger, rougher.  They were his father’s hands.  And as he looked up, he no longer saw you.  Now, he saw his mother, her eyes holding the same fear yours did a moment ago, a fear he’d seen countless times as she tried to defend her children.  Those eyes were now trained on him, and it felt as if his soul was being ripped to shreds.

“I-I’m sorry.” He stuttered. He needed her forgiveness.  Did he even deserve such a thing?  He fell to his knees with a choked sob.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He repeated.

You stared in shock as you watched him fall apart before you, rambling apologies and broken words falling from his lips.  You whispered that it was alright, but he couldn’t hear you, too far lost in whatever nightmare he was stuck in.  You knelt next to him and placed a gentle hand on his back, rubbing small circles in the space between his shoulders.

He could feel it… his mother’s touch, cool on his back and warm on his soul.  He was falling and no longer knew where he was.  He only knew that this touch between his shoulder blades was an anchor to a place he couldn’t reach, a place he longed for but never believed existed for him.  It was an exoneration, made of mercy and love, sewing together his broken pieces with a golden thread. He wasn’t worthy of it.  He cried.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you bore witness to his agony, this unknown monster that haunted him as he sobbed, completely dismantled and unaware of your presence. There was nothing you could do, no way you could help him through this.  All you could do was be here for him.  You wouldn’t let him go through this alone

You wrapped your arms around his head as you buried your face into his black hair, your own tears running down into his dark strands.  His body responded, lean, strong arms wrapping around your waist as he pressed himself against your stomach and suddenly the two of you were entwined, with him halfway in your lap, gripping you like a child would his mother as his body shook and his tears ran hot into your clothes.

With every inch of you on the brink, your body screamed at his iron-like grip around your waist. Even so, you twined your fingers into his thick hair, bracing the palms of your hands against his sweating skull. With one last surge, you drew what you could of your quirk, scraping the dredges of your ability, and pushed, deep into his brain where the pain still sat like a bullet in a wound that couldn’t heal.  A choked sob escaped your lips as your body was pushed passed its threshold, your world exploding in color, sound, and pain.  Dabi’s own sobs fell silent and his body went limp in your lap, his arms around your waist going slack.  He was unconscious. 

A deafening silence fell across the room, slowly replaced by the sounds of daily life from outside – the bustle of traffic, someone’s radio blaring, people laughing.  It felt out of place in contrast to all that had transpired and clashed harshly with your ears.  The sun was completely up now, the grey haze of morning burned away.  It seeped past the cracks in the curtains, a beam of light streaking across the floor to kiss the face of the man now passed out in your lap. The brightness of the sunlight made you squint against it, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.  You watched the tension in his face disappear, furrowed brows and wrinkled forehead smoothing over, his lips parting in a relaxed breath.  It was the first time you’d ever seen him look so peaceful.

You watched as your tears fell on his pale cheek to slip down and catch onto a metal ring. Suddenly, you were doubled over him, sobbing violently into his shoulder.  The rollercoaster of all that had happened crashed over you in unrelenting waves as your body screamed at the entire loudness of the world around you.  As you cried, the broken man beneath you slept. There was no waking him now; his own exhaustion had claimed him once you hit his withdrawal at its source. 

After what felt like ages, your sobbing subsided, and your tears dried up.  Your body and soul were spent.  They screamed for relief, for silence, for sleep.  Slowly, you removed Dabi from your lap before finally staring at him, asleep on the floor.  There was no way you could get him back into his bed, but you’d do what you could to make him comfortable.  Even the slightest bit movement was agony, but you forced yourself forward with painstaking slowness.  You managed to get the pillow you had borrowed under his head and draped his blanket over him before you grabbed a water bottle for yourself and downed its contents.  You followed it up with a banana, although your stomach roiled slightly, the pain in your lower back bringing forth a wave of nausea that you fought with clenched teeth and deep breaths through the nose.

Every movement was stiff and calculated to try to mitigate your own suffering as you gathered the items Dabi had emptied across the floor earlier.  When you finally left his room, it felt like entering another dimension, the hallway oddly quiet and peaceful.

On tired, aching feet you crossed the hallway to your room and entered. As soon as the door closed behind you, you dropped your bag and headed straight for the bathroom.  As you passed your closet, you eyed the duffle bag stashed up high in your closet, your mind longingly thinking of its hidden contents. You did your best to ignore it.  The idea of having to go through it all again because you couldn’t exercise self-control was enough to keep you from giving into temptation.

Instead, you pulled your over the counter pain relief pills from your medicine cabinet and took four of them; they might not work as well as what you were used to, but it was better than nothing.  Your body screamed for sleep, but you knew that sleep would elude you as long as your senses were going haywire and your back burned.

So, you closed your bathroom door to plunge yourself into darkness and turned on your bathtub, adjusting the temperature to an equilibrium that matched with your own body.  You undressed yourself, slowly, grateful to no longer feel the itchiness of the cotton on your skin while the soles of your bare feet complained about the cold hardness of your bathroom floor.  Once the tub was full and the faucet turned off, you entered the water slowly and submerged yourself until only your mouth and nose were above water.

Immediately, a familiar, comfortable silence fell over you as the water entered your ears and muted your hearing, your closed eyes blocked out any remaining light that the bathroom door couldn’t eliminate, and the water caressed your skin in a gentle, numbing embrace.

This was what you needed – sensory deprivation.  Or, at least the best you could do with your current situation.  A heated pool was more ideal of course, but clearly not an option right now. You could feel the edges of the tub press on your skin where you couldn’t quite fit or where the water wasn’t quite deep enough to fully support you with its buoyancy.  But still, it was far better than anything else you had at your disposal.

If it weren’t for the fear of water getting into your nose and lungs, you would have fallen asleep right there in an instant.  Instead, you lingered, your mind filled with memories and thoughts of the gauntlet you had somehow managed to survive.  You wondered if Dabi would remember all of it when he finally woke up, or if some of it would get lost or buried.

Will he be okay after you used your quirk on his mind?  You hadn’t thought about it when you did it – your instinct took over, fueled by desperation and emotional turmoil at seeing him fall apart in front of you against his will.  You’d never used your quirk like that before, and it scared you.

There was nothing you could do but wait.  Wait and see what happened.

You left the bathtub once the water started to get cold and dressed yourself in your softest article of clothing before falling into bed.  Your blackout curtains did their best to block out the daytime, but nothing could be done for the noise, the old windows made of thin glass.  But fatigue pulled heavy, its weight stronger than your quirk’s feedback.  Time lost its meaning as sleep finally found you, pulling you into its gentle arms while visions of Dabi filled your dreams. __________________________________________________________________

Part 7

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[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Quarantine: A Love Story {15}***

Chris Evans x Reader Series

Warning: Cursing, NSFW, LOTS OF WORDS, SMUUUUT, Angst

DO NOT READ AT WORK!!

Words: 6.8k

Note: Okay, so this ask/request came in and I was all prepped to write it as a one shot, but I had so many separate ideas that sprang to mind for it and from it. As of right now, I am going to play this one by ear. Hell, I might just keep writing it as long as we’re all in our quarantine/self-isolation. So, it might be one part every week, or I might change it. I honestly have no idea, so let’s start with calling it a mini-series and see where it goes. Thank you anon for the request, hope it’s cool I tweak, twist and stretch this out.

Note: Recommended listening “Barefoot In The Park” By: James Blake feat. Rosalia. You’re welcome!

I hope you guys enjoy this. If you enjoyed this LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. Thank you for reading as always!!! ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

Previous Chapters:  Q1 |  Q2 |  Q3 |  Q4 |  Q5 |  Q6 |  Q7 |  Q8 |  Q9 | Q10 | Q11 | Q12 | Q13 | Q14 | 

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Quarantine: Day 55-

Groaning, you rolled on the surface you were laying on until you were on your back. With eyes closed, you could see the blinding sunlight beaming on you. Peeping your eyes open just a smidge, you quickly regretted it. Instantly you rolled back onto your stomach and groaned in the pillow. Your head was throbbing, but that wasn’t the only thing of yours that was. For a few moments, you kept your eyes closed and just relished the feel of the soft covers and plush mattress underneath you. You couldn’t have moved if you hadn’t smelled coffee and food cooking. Your brain was confused; you shouldn’t have been able to smell food all the way in the guesthouse.

 You eased up onto your elbows with squinted eyes and took in the blurry bed you were laying on. It didn’t look like the one you’d been sleeping in for the last several weeks. Looking to the right then left, you saw an abundance of wood. This definitely wasn’t the guesthouse. You rolled over and let the full brutalness of the sun bathe you. As you shielded your eyes, they were able to focus and slowly take in your surroundings. Outside the window, you could see nothing but the greenery of treetops, and to the left was a desk. That was when you paused.

 “Oh god. Tell me you didn’t, tell me you did not.”

 You looked around some more until the mess of scattered clothes on the flood caught your eye. You began to panic just a little. When you saw four opened condom wrappers across the floor, that was when you panic set in. Dropping back to the bed, you slapped your hands to your face and groaned.

 “Holy shit, I did. Oh, fuck!”

 As you brought your legs up to your chest to hover in the air, you felt the stretch and dull ache in your nether regions. You gasped and dropped your limbs back to the bed.

 “Oh—my—god.” You laid there in shock for several moments. You’d never felt morning after ache before. The only other time you did was your first few times ever having sex. You were long past a virgin now.

 You focused and tired to think about what the hell happened last night. You’d drank a lot, but it wasn’t more than usual, it was actually less. The grogginess in your brain fought back. It was as if it didn’t want you to remember. You laid there for at least five minutes, wracking your brain, forcing it to relinquish the information you needed. No matter how much you tried to push through, you couldn’t remember. Rolling to your feet, you scurried to your clothes and hurriedly dressed doing your best to ignore the condom wrappers. Before you walked out, the room curiosity got the better of you, making you look at one of the wrappers. Your eyes widened, seeing golden foil and the “XL” printed across it. Chris Evans wore an extra-large condom. You definitely wanted a minute to take that in, but the smells wafting around you told you to make your getaway.

 As you slinked down the short hall, you peeped around the corner, but the kitchen area was empty. Thinking he may have just gone back to the house, you stepped out and walked to the door. At that moment, every memory from the night before decided to come back, making you run smack dab into the glass door to fall back onto your ass.

 “Fuck!”

 A scuffle of footsteps, but you were too wrapped up in the frenzy of memories that were racing through your mind that you didn’t register much else. You remembered the conversation, remembered his confession, remembered the hottest make-out session you’d ever had on the table. Then you remembered him carrying you like you weighed nothing and him teasing you mercilessly in the bed you’d just left. Once you thought about the bed, everything became a lot more sultry. You remembered his moans, god his moans were sexy, and the whimpers were even sexier. Your body felt like it also remembered just what he’d done to you, how he’d tasted you, bit you, controlled your body only to fuck you into unconsciousness. He’d actually fucked you to sleep.

 “Holy shit!” Your eyes flew open to see Chris above you peering down with worry etched on his face.

 “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Your pride was definitely hurt. You’d just run into a fucking door. Groaning, you slowly sat up. Chris put his arm behind your back to brace you.

 “I’m fine.”

 “Did you just run into the door?”

 Snorting, your laughter echoed in the small space as you rubber your sore forehead. “I totally did.”

 “Yeah. Maybe you shouldn’t have been trying to sneak out in your morning-after walk of shame,” Chris teased. Again, you snorted and laughed loudly.

 “Shut up! I am not doing any walk of shame.”

 “Oh, but you are sneaking out,” Chris accused.

 He’d caught you there. When you looked at him, he didn’t look angry. The problem was you couldn’t really read his expression. Sighing, you dropped your forehead to his bare shoulder.

 “I am sneaking out,” you admitted.

 “Yeah, the question is why?”

 “At first I couldn’t remember what the hell happened, and then I saw the condoms and knew something happened, and I just remembered. I freaked out.” You lifted your head and looked to him.

 “Why? Is this something you—no longer want?”

 “Things are always different in the morning. It was just—an adjustment. This was new.”

 Chris studied you for a few moments before he nodded and looked down. He looked as if he were thinking about what he should say. You could see the question on his face before his mouth opened.

 “Do you regret last night?”

 He didn’t look up to meet your eyes immediately; his head lingered downward like he didn’t want to look in your eyes for fear of what he might see. You took the time to think about his question. Did you regret last night? It was a good question. It was a question you would have thought about in the bed, but it hadn’t occurred to you to think about it. You felt your walls trying their best to come back up and quickly rebuild themselves. You could feel them closing in around your heart. They were rebuilding so quickly you knew it would be seconds before they were entirely up. If that happened, you knew you’d walk out of the door and back to the guesthouse to bury any memory of this slip-up. You would never think about this again, and you’d make every excuse to avoid him again.

 The things you felt last night scared the shit out of you. The things you saw in his eyes scared you. The way he touched you, commanded your body with ease, and held you all night shook you to your core and terrified you. Everything over the last few weeks contradicted and discredited everything you thought you knew as facts about him. He didn’t hate you; he liked you. He didn’t think you were annoying; he’d had a crush the entire time. He regretted his actions on the fourth of July. He’d wanted you this entire time.

 You must have remained quiet for too long because he lifted his head and gazed into your eyes, and the softness of the blue in them had your belly flipping. These reactions to him were new, and you hadn’t had enough time to wrap your head around them. Your lips felt like moving to speak words you couldn’t possibly mean, so you pressed them shut. You rose onto your knees and slid closer to him before you threw your leg over his and sat on his lap.

 “Does this feel like I regret anything?” You pressed your lips to his and kissed him.

 Chris didn’t move. He stayed there, letting you move your lips across his. The kiss started slow but quickly picked up speed. As you teased and sucked his lips, Chris still didn’t move. Only when your tongue delved into his mouth to wrap around his tongue did he kiss you back. Chris moaned on your mouth as he took control of the kiss and wrapped his arms around your back.

 The two of you sat there on the floor making out, and every second that passed only made both of you more desperate for the other. You teased the skin of his back with your nails gently raking them up and down his skin. Chris pulled you closer so you sat atop his already hardened length. You groaned on him and sank your fingers in his hair holding his head in the process. Instead of risking more conversation, you reached for the hook of your top and undid it before you pulled it off, so your breasts pressed against his chest. You felt his deep guttural moan reverberate against you.

 Chris slowly rose to his feet and took a few steps. You weren’t sure where he was going until you felt the kitchen counter underneath you. With the way he was pressed against your core, you could tell just how badly he wanted you.

 “Aren’t you hungry?”

 “Starving,” you muttered before you crashed your lips back to his.

 “Then let me feed you,” Chris groaned out as he pressed his length into you even more. You bit his bottom lip and pulled away before you pushed him back just enough for you to slide down to the floor before him. Once on your knees, you pulled his sweats that were carelessly balancing at his hips down to reveal just the meal you intended on.

 Wasting not one second, you sank your mouth onto his length and decided to take what you wanted. You didn’t bother going slow; there was no need. As you bobbed your head up and down his cock Chris didn’t stay quiet. He moaned and groaned all the while trying to keep himself in check. When you felt him sink his hands into your hair, you knew he wanted more control than you were allowing him. Chris held your head and began pumping your mouth. Every connection the tip of his cock nudged your tonsil, threatening your gag, but when he retreated, you were able to suppress it. When he sank his full length into your mouth, you decided not to back down and instead clamped around him and shook your head, giving him the full feel of you.

 “Fuck! You look so fucking gorgeous with my dick in your mouth, Y/N.”

 Some girls wanted chocolates. Some wanted flowers. Some wanted to be bought diamonds and rubies or even told they’re beautiful twenty times a day. You were plenty happy to hear those words from him.

You were that turned on. Moaning, you opened your throat, but Chris must have sensed what you intended to do because he pulled your head back with a loud groan and brought you to his face before he crashed his lips to yours and stuck his tongue down your throat.

 The next thing you knew, he’d walked away from you and gone back to the stove. You stood there, stunned and confused.

 “What’re you doing?”

 He had his sweats pulled back into place and looked innocent, the only dead giveaway was the obvious erection that was sticking right out straining against his sweatpants.

 “You said you were starving. Breakfast,” Chris responded, opening the oven and bending inside to retrieve a baking tray.

 “Uh—I had my breakfast in front of me,” you announced. Chris tried to hide his smirk, but you caught it.

 “I snuck into the house and was able to get some cinnamon buns and some fruit,” Chris explained as he rifled through the fridge to come out with a fruit salad bowl. He then began placing the buns onto a dish as you stood there still floored.

 Once he’d finished, he walked past you toward the table on the back deck.

 “Come on, let’s eat.”

 “Eat what exactly?”

 “Let’s start with cinnamon buns and fruit and see where we end up,” Chris teased.

 The man wanted to tease and torture you; you thought as you walked to the back bare chest and all. When you said down, you noticed him staring at your breasts so you poked them out even more.

 “Something wrong with me being shirtless?”

 Chris smiled, licked his lips, and shook his head. “By all means. With breasts like those you should be shirtless twenty-four-seven,” he said before he bit into one of the cinnamon buns. The icing residue latched onto his mustache and beard and corner of his mouth. You’d never wanted to lick someone more.

 You cupped your breasts and smiled when you saw his slip. “Thanks, I’ve always thought so too.” You slowly rolled your nipples between your fingers while staring into his eyes. When you dropped your hands, you took a bun for yourself and moaned while obnoxiously rolling your eyes into the back of your head upon first bite.

 “You did that for me first,” Chris said. You scoffed and finished chewing.

 “Are you sure you were first?”

 It was a low blow, but you didn’t care. All’s fair in torture and teasing. Right? Chris looked slightly annoyed, and that annoyance brought you immeasurable joy. The two of you ate the food, all the while staring at each other, just giving each other sensual looks that spoke volumes. Every now and then, you purposely let droplets of fruit juice fall on your breasts. Each time you did, Chris fell for it and gawked at them with a palpable hunger in his eyes. You wondered how long he could last. You knew you were the worst person to go up against. You knew the power of a woman over a man. You knew your power over this man.

 By the time the last bun was finished and the fruits all but gone you sat there licking and sucking your fingers clean from the icing with Chris as your audience. Once they were clean, you stood with the faux intention of bringing the dishes to the sink. Before you even made it to grab a dish, Chris had his hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you to his body. His erection pressed urgently into you. You doubted it had gone down this entire time. You couldn’t help but smile, but you shouldn’t have. Chris spun you around and pushed you forward so you were bending across the table. He then yanked your skirt down, revealing your bare ass to him. You felt his teeth sink into the flesh of your backside, making you groan and throw your head back.

 Chris pushed your chest down onto the table before you felt his face bury between your folds.

 “Fuck!” It was an unexpected feeling, one that was coarse thanks to his beard but so damn soft because of his mouth.

 “Mmmm, you taste like mine!”

 You weren’t into the whole being possessed thing; it always made you feel like property and confined. You preferred to be the one possessing. This, though, felt different, but only a little. You felt Chris's hands grip your ass before he squeezed and slurped your sex. It felt so good that your knees buckled. Before you could relax into the pleasure, Chris stood again and walked away. After a few seconds of nothing but breeze, you looked back, but he wasn’t there.

 “Chris?

 No answer.

 “Chris!”

 Still no answer. You pressed your forehead to the table and groaned loudly. Who knew the man was this much of a tease. Standing on semi shaky legs, you walked inside, but again there was no Chris. Suppressing your frustration, you walked down the short hall and passed the little nook that he had set up as a library area, but still, he wasn’t there. When you went up the steps to his bedroom, it was empty. Knowing that there were only so many places he could be, you backtracked and saw the door to the bathroom open.

 As you approached, you heard the rush of running water, and when you got to the door, you saw Chris filling the tub. As you leaned on the door, you just marveled at how gorgeous he was and how in the hell he expected two people to fit in that tub. When he looked at you, his smile was coy.

“Found me.”

 “Because there were so many places to look,” you joked.

 You watched him move around the small space adding different things to the water as the tub filled. With everything, he poured the scent in the room changed. First, you smelled sandalwood, then cedarwood. After a few moments, you began to smell other things like eucalyptus, mint, and a faint vanilla and musk aroma. It all was so very masculine, but it also gave an air of feminine undertones. Chris looked at you, beginning from your toes along your naked body until he got to your face.

 “Enjoying the view?”

 “How the hell could I not? You’re gorgeous, Y/N. You know that,” Chris said, still staying on his side of the room.

 “I would love to say the same, but it seems as if I’m the only one naked.”

 Chris snorted and nodded.

 “That’s fair. Do you want to do the honors?”

 Biting your bottom lip, you looked him over and slowly shook your head. “Nope, I think you got it.”

 Chris smiled then slowly pulled the waist of his sweatpants down. He did it in a way to tease you even more, first only revealing the bundle of neatly trimmed hair. You watched his sweats get nudged on his erection, making you suck your bottom lip in your mouth. Chris looked to you with just his eyes, and it like a ton of bricks the effect it had on you. He must have known it too because the smirk that spread across his face said it.

 Finally, he was bare before you, and the only thought you had was how had you not tried to imagine this before. How had you not recognized these feelings you were having right now before? Chris turned off the water and held out his hand for you. Slowly you approached him and placed your hand in his.

 “How exactly are two of us supposed to fit in there? I have serious doubts you could fit.” Chris smiled and kissed your cheek then trailed kisses to your ear. Once he got to your ear, he nibbled your lobe for a few moments before he pulled back.

 “Let me lead by example,” Chris said before he climbed into the tub and sank into it, demonstrating that he, in fact, fit in the tub. You were shocked.

 “Tada.”

 With a smile, you took Chris’s outstretched hand and climbed into the tub and sat across from him. Chris’s feet were on either side of you while yours were in the middle of the tub. Moaning, you relished the feeling of the hot water on your skin and the blending aromas swirling in the air. The silence in the room wasn’t uncomfortable; it felt natural, which surprised you given the limited amount of time you’d spent around him.

 With your eyes closed, you leaned back and rested your head on the cushion that was there. When you felt his hand wrap around your foot, you opened your eyes and watched as he held it and massaged it. In no time at all, your relaxation increased. His hands were so large that they engulfed your foot and expertly moved along it. His hands felt incredible. You had no idea how he’d learned this, but you had suspicions.

 “What’re you thinking?”                                

 You took a deep breath and sank even lower in the water.

 “You don’t want to know.”

 “On the contrary, I want to know everything you think,” Chris corrected.

 “I was wondering how you got so good at this.”

 Chris snorted before he dropped a kiss to your foot.

 “Do you really want to know?”

 “If the words out your mouth are you practiced on Emily, Jessica, Jenny, Anna, Cynthia, and countless others, I'm going to kick you in that beautiful face of yours.”

 Chris laughed loudly as he leaned back to slap his hand across his chest. Some things never change, you thought.

 “In that case, I’ll just shut up,” Chris teased.

 Using your other foot still in the water, you shoved it out, making gentle connection with his dick in the water.

 “Hey, hey, hey, watch the merchandise. Just remember you’re the one who gets pleasure from it,” Chris cautioned.

 “Ha, but it hasn’t been just me has it?” Narrowing your eyes at him, you pursed your lips. You were never a jealous person, but right now, you felt hella jealous.

 “What I was going to say was I’m making it up as I go. I’m just good with my hands.” Chris’s hands moved up your leg to your calves. Once they got to your knees, Chris slinked over to you and hovered over you. “Let’s get one thing clear right now, sweetheart,” he began before he kissed your lips and sucking your bottom lip. “No one matters before you. You’re all I see, all I’ve ever seen.” He kissed you again and pulled you to him as he slid back to his side. You were now nestled between his legs pressed against his body. The kiss intensified while Chris’s hand trailed down your back to your ass. The way he gripped it had you wanting even more than you had outside at the table.

 “You’re all I want to see, Y/N,” Chris finished while nuzzling his nose against yours.

 You quickly adjusted your body so you straddled him with his member pressed against your ass. As you reached for one of the sponges behind Chris, your breast nudged his face. Taking full advantage of it, Chris wrapped his lips around your nipple and proceeded to please you. Focusing on the task, you took up the shower gel that laid on the side of the tub and lathered the sponge. The feel of his mouth on you was a continuous temptation to just rush full force toward your own pleasure, but you took your time.

 When you pulled back your breast came free with a loud “pop”.

 “How do you always smell like coconuts? It drives me fucking crazy.”

 He was asking your black woman secrets, and you didn’t want to give him any hints. Instead, you rubbed the sponge across his shoulder and down his chest.

 “Not gonna tell me?” Chris kissed your neck and made a path to your shoulder as his hands gripped your hips.

 “No need.”

 Chris grabbed the sponge and began wiping across your body. His eyes moved along with the sponge, and with every stroke, he looked even more and more mesmerized. When he swirled the sponge around your breasts while cupping them, you almost leaped out your skin. Chris swiped his thumbs across your nipples before he pinched them, which sent your hips bucking against him.

 Chris groaned and bit his bottom lip. The sight only turned you on more. For the next several minutes, the two of you bathed each other taking your time with moving the sponge along your bodies. You paid attention to every sharp intake of breath or heavy sigh as you moved along him and noted what worked in tempting him further. As you did this, Chris did the same, but when he realized that your reactions were more facial then verbal, you found him watching your face more times than not.

 After what felt like an eternity, Chris held you tightly as he rose onto his knees. That was when he kissed you. It was a slow kiss, a deliberately slow one meant only to tease you. The water from above shocked you making you flinch.

“Oh my god, Chris, my hair!” Your shriek was loud, and your glare penetrative as you tried to slink away from the falling water.

 “It’s just water,” Chris declared. To you, it was like a capital offense.

 “On my hair. Do you know how much goes into getting my hair like this?”

 He kissed your collar, gently nipping your skin between his teeth.

 “I’ll help you, I promise.”

 “Help me? Have you ever done a woman’s hair before, let alone a black woman’s?”

 “No, but I’m willing to learn.”

 Those words, for some reason, meant everything in this moment. It was sweet. You bit your bottom lip and went back to your natural position and allowed the water from the rainfall showerhead to pour down onto you. As it did, the soap on both your bodies washed away. Chris crashed his lips to yours and took control. You got lost in the kiss and the way his hard, wet body felt pressed against yours until the kiss got even more desperate.

 Chris stood and stepped out of the tub then walked out of the bathroom. The coolness in the air nipped at your skin, but the heat from his body worked to take it away. When he softly placed you on the bed, you moaned and rolled onto him to once again straddle him. Chris’s hands went everywhere. They caressed your back, palmed your ass, squeezed your hips, then came around to cup your breasts, but no matter where they went, they never stayed too long. It was as if he wanted everything all at once.

 When he pulled away from your lips, you stared at him, reading the hidden desires in them. You didn’t know how you could read him so easily now when not even seventy two hours ago, he perplexed you beyond comprehension. You bit his bottom lip and pulled back, teasing it before you licked his top one only to lick from his chin up across both lips. Chris groaned, and the pulsating between your bodies increased.

 That was when you slipped from his lap and stood before him in front of the panoramic window in the room. The sunlight shone through, and your body created a shadow. Chris slowly licked his lips as he raked his eyes over every inch of your body. The attention he gave you made you feel like a precious rare jewel, and you were quickly becoming addicted to the feeling. Slowly you twirled around, giving him a good view of the ass he loved to grip. His deep impassioned groan was the only sound you needed to hear to know he liked what he saw. The beads of water that dripped from your hair onto your skin slowly slid along your body, and when you turned to him, you could have sworn he was watching each of them.

 Your eyes dropped to his swollen need and licked your lips. When you did Chris’s hand wrapped around it and stroked three times before he gripped it. If that wasn’t an invitation, you didn’t know what was, you thought. Like a lioness on the prowl, you sauntered to him rolling your hips with each step until you got close enough, then you dropped to your knees and fully emulated that lioness stalking her prey. Chris sucked in a breath as he watched you crawled to him.

 Once you were between his legs, you rubbed your lips and nose along his length, then your cheek, all the while never taking your eyes off of his. Chris’s jaw was dropped as if he couldn’t believe you were before him doing the things you were. With your hands behind your back, you dropped your mouth down his length until you felt his head nudge your throat. Your moan vibrated on his cock, making him growl out from deep within his chest. Fuck, it was the hottest thing you’d ever heard, next to his moans.

 While you loved to tease him, you also loved to please him. Ending your torture, you showed him without hesitation just how skilled your mouth was. It didn’t take long for Chris’s hands to bury themselves in your hair until he was holding it back and watching you in awe as every curse word in the book tumbled from his lips in between moans, groans, and whimpers. When he pulled your head back by your hair, he pulled you to him and kissed you with a heat and passion you hadn’t expected but savored.

 Chris pulled you onto his lap and nestled his cock between your sopping folds. Unable to help yourself, you swiped your sex across his soaking him in the process. Every buck of your hips had Chris leaning back even more. You saw him reaching back but didn’t know what he was reaching for. Then it dawned on you he was probably trying to get to the bedside table.

 “I’ll get it,” you offered before you crawled up his body to reach inside the table. The movement unwittingly placed his head between your thighs. Chris took full advantage by gripping your hips and pulling you down onto his open mouth just as you’d reached the gold packet.

 Your shriek was loud, and from the beginning, it was clear his intention was not to tease. He lapped at you as if he’d been starving all the days of his life, and you were the only sustenance left in the world. After a few seconds, your body began to shake. That was when Chris sucked your clit into his mouth to slurp at you. The sensation was so intense you gripped the sheets and let your body convulse as your orgasm charged through you, bringing with it the goosebumps across your skin.

 “Oh fuck Chris, yes, yes, yes!”

 With every “yes,” his slurps got louder and louder. With the end of one orgasm, another quickly took over. When you felt Chris dip his tongue into your channel, your body moved on its own and rode his face. Chris’s moans picked up, and soon you were racing for your finish line. Chris’s moans got loud, and when you looked down and made eye contact, your release came. The feeling was intense, and you wanted more, but you also wanted to feel him.

 In a rush, you pulled from him and moved down his body to quickly rip open the condom and roll it onto his pulsating cock. In less than a minute, you were on your knees again, straddling him. Chris sat up and kissed you. Using your tongue, you licked across his lips, tasting yourself and moaning as you did.

 “I never took you for a squirter,” Chris whispered against your lips. You smiled as you slid onto him, taking every single inch slowly, so he felt every sensation individually. The look on his face said he was close and barely hanging on. It was what you liked.

 Wasting no time, you rocked against him and rolled your body as you held onto him. The water that dripped onto your skin was gone now as the combined heat from your bodies took all of it but replaced it with the slickness of your sweat. Your bodies rubbed together, causing such a delicious friction, a friction that only inched you closer and closer to the edge.

 Chris bit your neck before he dropped back onto the bed to watch you move against him. Raising onto your knees, you bounced on him, losing yourself in the pleasure and not caring how your body jiggled. All that mattered right now was your combined release.

 “Jesus, Y/N.” Chris balled the sheets into his outstretched hands and watched you with his mouth open. He looked at you as if you were a sorceress who somehow had claimed control of him against his will. The look made you feel powerful, and that was when you decided to show out and raise onto your toes to bounce on him more forcefully.

 “Aaah,” Chris shouted. He only allowed you four dips before he was sitting up and standing with you in his arms.

 His lips claimed yours, and the two of you fought in a battle of the tongues. Chris was the one to break the kiss before he tossed you onto the bed. You were only without him for seconds before he was kneeling onto the bed and forcefully flipping you over onto your stomach. When he dropped a heavy-handed slap to your ass, you moaned and instantly poked it out. You felt him swipe his length along your slit once before he was slamming into you, connecting you in one rough thrust.

 “Aaaah!”

 Chris groaned deeply and grabbed your hands to hold them behind your back. As he did this, he rotated his hips, caressing every wall with his need. He was impossibly deep and though your body wanted more your survival instincts had you trying to pull away.

 “Mm-nmh. Don’t run from this dick, Y/N. Take it,” Chris tantalizingly ordered before he pulled out only to slam back into you.

 “Fuuuuck!” His grip on your wrists only tightened, keeping you right where you were so you had no choice but to take it.

 Chris’s strokes from the beginning were deliberate, and with every passing second, they sped. In no time at all, you were whimpering, and shrieking out, not caring who heard. Chris’s moans were like music to your ears and only made you wetter and wetter. You knew there was no way you could take much more of this. You could already feel your skin tingling and your sex quivering around him. Chris’s strokes got sloppier and sloppier, and that was when he let your wrists go. You plopped onto the bed only to have him push one of your legs to the side before he was sinking back inside your greedy sex.

 Chris hovered over you and gave you slow deep strokes that had you shouting his name back to back.

 “Yes. Y/N. God, I love how you feel around me. You feel so fucking good,” he groaned against your ear before he pressed down onto you and jackhammered into you, dragging your orgasm from you. As you clenched around him, Chris shouted out and came right along with you.

 After almost two minutes, Chris was still spasming inside of you, and you were still milking him for every drop.

 “Fuuuuck! I’m still coming,” Chris grunted out, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. Chris bit your skin and groaned. When rolled off of you onto his back, he groaned again.

 You rested onto your elbows and watched him fascinated. With his face scrunched, he looked as if he were in such a complex merge of pleasure and pain. You dropped a kiss to his chest and trailed it to his nipple then nibbled it. He sucked in a breath and groaned again. You looked to his member and marveled, seeing it twitch and bob in the air. After a few moments, his breathing evened out, and he turned to you with such vulnerability in his eyes you couldn’t help but snuggle closer to him.

 Chris wrapped an arm around you, allowing you to settle comfortably atop his chest. The silence filled the room with the two of you enjoying it, and the afterglow of your coupling. After almost five minutes of silence and you tracing patters across his chest and abs, you spoke first.

 “When you imagined this—did you imagine it being like this?”

 Chris didn’t speak right away. He stayed quiet so long you didn’t think he would answer. You didn’t dare look at him. You didn’t want to meet his eyes, unsure what you’d find there and just what it would do to you. You heard your ring tone, it sounded far away, but you knew it was yours. After the beginning chime, what you heard next quickly broke the mood.

 “Call from Sexy as fuck dig dick Charles.”

 Chris audibly growled before groaning and rolling away from you, leaving you a little surprised. The personalized ringtone kept repeating, and the more it did, you could feel the chill that filled the room. Chris sat up at the edge of the bed with his back hunched and turned to you. Finally, the silence returned, but he didn’t speak. You slid closer to him and touched his back. He flinched and slightly arched his back away. Thinking it was just a shock reflex, you pressed your lips to his back. That was when he moved completely and stood.

 “You should get back before Scott realizes you’re not in the guesthouse,” Chris spoke, looking everywhere but at you. He made a move to roll the condom off, then tied it and dropped it into the garbage beside the bedside table. He was still hard.

 “You want me to leave?”

 Chris sighed out and planted his hands on his waist before dropping his head back.

 “It’s the best move,” he quietly answered.

 You wondered if this was about the call. Once it rang out, you felt the shift in the atmosphere.

 “Chris, is this about the call?”

 His sigh was heavier, more forceful. He moved to one of the doors in the room and came out of it with another pair of sweats, then he pushed his legs through them.

 “It’s just best for you to go, Y/N. You probably shouldn’t even be here.” He sounded defeated.

 You tried hard not to allow the feeling of rejection take over, but the longer he stayed over there not looking at you with clenched jaws, the more impossible it was.

 “Chris ignore the call,” you began.

 “Ignore the fact that mere weeks ago, you were fucking someone else and probably doing every single fucking thing to him that you were just doing to me? Saying the same shit—uuugg!” Chris turned his back to you as he rubbed his forehead.

 This was insane, you thought.

 “Are you jealous?”

 Silence.

 “Chris--,” you began before he cut you off.

 “—Just go, Y/N.”

 Anger fired up within you, and you bolted from the bed naked and all. “Am I making a big deal about you definitely having fucked someone else weeks ago? Chris, you’ve been fucking everyone else but me for years!” with your rising temper, your voice rose as well.

 “Great here we go again. You want to throw every woman I’ve had sex with in my face. Fine! Yes, I fucked a lot of women. You’ve fucked a lot of guys!”

 Those words were like a slap across the face. You couldn’t believe he’d just said that to you. You felt the tears before they welled your eyes, and you refused to stay there and shed them. Nodding, you walked out of the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom to grab your skirt before you angrily pulled it on. As you did, you felt the first droplets of tears. You could have punched a hole in the door. You hated crying, and you hadn’t let any man make you cry in years.

 As you walked out to the door, you grabbed your top and pulled that on as well. In seconds you found your clutch and walked through the door.

 “Y/N,” Chris began with a hand on your wrist.

 Yanking away from him, you kept your face forward. “Fuck you, Chris!”

 With that, you stormed across the yard and to where the bike was leaned and rode away. Your tears made it difficult to see where you were going, but you refused to stop. Instead, you peddled harder and gripped the handlebar with the strength and fire of hell itself.

When you got back to the house, you were thankful the pool area was empty. You shoved the bike onto the ground and stormed to the guesthouse door then slammed it behind you. Quickly you stripped your clothes off and rushed into the shower. The only thing you wanted to do was wash him off of you.

 How dare he you thought as you roughly scrubbed your skin trying to rub off every kiss, every lick every touch, and when you realized you couldn’t, no matter how hard you scrubbed, you stood still and shook with the force of your anger. Your anger was your weakness. You went from zero to one hundred in seconds, and once there, that blazing inferno was worst than an F6 on the tornado scale. Everyone knew when you were seething; it was best to leave you be.

 After a few minutes, you still weren’t able to get control of your anger, and that was when the tears streamed. They were a mixture of angry tears and hurt ones. You couldn’t believe it. You’d lowered your guard. You hadn’t even realized you did. You lowered it and allowed someone to hurt you. He’d been able to hurt you. That was what terrified you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lee’s Note:  😬

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***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!! 

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Tag List:

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***There are a few that are bold that I tried to tag but your @ wasn’t coming up. I’m not sure why. I’m sorry.***

[etherealcheol-mp3]

Gotcha || knj

pairing: kim namjoon x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, coffee shop/ bakery!au, e2l, neighbors!au, non-idol!au

warnings: none really, slow burn, enemies to lovers, mentions of death/ fire, mentions of panic attacks, hints towards sexual themes, pranks played against one another constantly, b a n t e r

words: 20.3K (it’s a monster, i’m so sorry)

summary: rival shops aren’t the worst things in life, but maybe their owners are. after a less than ideal first meeting, y/n swears kim namjoon off as their mortal enemy. this is tolerable, bearable even. nobody said they had to step foot in each other's shops, but what happens when the vacant apartment in their building gets filled with a noisy neighbor with constant….guests. and what happens when said neighbor is revealed to be none other than kim namjoon? prank wars and lots of meddling from best friends.

A/N: this story was originally posted on my instagram @/constellationkookie and my wattpad @/hoodftarreaga. this was also originally written for Calum Hood but I’m bts trash now and have no regrets:) -toro

 I’ve never had a constant variable in my life. Moving around as a kid and changing schools happens to have that effect on a person. You learn not to expect too much from a friendship that you try to make work over texts and slowly dwindling phone calls and you begin to search for things in life that can become constants in some way or another. My form of constant was as simple as flour, sugar, eggs, and butter. The basic, core ingredients to any baked good. No matter where I moved or who I did or didn’t talk to, I had baking. All I needed was flour, sugar, eggs, and butter and I was whisked away to the safety of my kitchen where I didn’t have to deal with the chaos surrounding me in the outside world.

I didn’t need a boyfriend, best friend, or school club like everyone else. I didn’t need anything that would ground me into my surroundings since it would only make leaving that much harder. However, sometimes certain people try their hardest to latch onto you and gain your trust. They make you feel comfortable and allow you to open up and be vulnerable around them. I was twenty years old and living in Seoul with this certain person who just so happened to be my first and only best friend, Mal. She stood by my side through thick and thin and supported me to follow my dreams and do what I never thought was possible: open up my own bakery. It was hard at first and very stressful, but the end result was well worth the sleepless nights and crying fits.

Sunrise Bakery was my pride and joy and very successful. The name was Mal’s idea as she saw ‘the sun was rising on the start of my new life’. Seven months in, everything was going great, but then slowly my regulars began to not be so regular. ‘Friends’ turned into strangers and it seemed like everyone in the city forgot. I tried just about everything in the books from sales to new recipes but nothing kept them back for long. It wasn’t until I heard about a new coffee shop in town that I started to get worried. The Hideout Cafe was new in town and conveniently just down the street from my bakery. 

“Are you still plotting,'' Mal called from behind me. I turned my attention to her and furrowed my brow. “I’m not plotting anything,” I stated defensively and started rolling out the previously abandoned dough on the counter.

Mal snorts and rolls her eyes playfully before taking a sip out of her coffee cup, I hadn’t noticed it before. “Sure because staring out your window to try and see what's going on in there isn’t creepy at all.” I ignore her comment and look at the sleeve on her coffee cup before realizing which logo was on it.

“You went there? And actually ordered something?” I say incredulously. Her eyes widen slightly before sighing and slumping her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry but their latte is amazing! I seriously don’t know how they do it like it’s insane. I know you have some personal vendetta against them but just check it out one time and you’ll see how stupid it is. Customers aren’t going to stop coming permanently to a bakery because of a coffee shop.” I tried to ignore her and go to the back of the shop but she gently grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks. 

“Come on, Y/N, you’ve been working since you opened and it’s time for a break. Please? For me?” I huffed before finally looking over at her and giving in. She silently cheered as I untied my apron and turned the open sign before locking up. We headed down the street and stopped in front of the shiny, new Hideout Cafe. Walking inside felt wrong but also relieving as the shop took over my senses. The warm air inside tickled my face, cold from the winter breeze outside. The clatter of cutlery accompanying the scent of coffee beans and light chatter of patrons soothed my senses in an instant. 

I followed Mal to the register and looked up at the seemingly endless menu posted on the wall. It was written in varying colors of chalk along with the seamless flow of script font that spelled out “Today’s Specials”. Mal pushed me forward and my eyes met the face of a boy around my age. He looked slightly amused and had a brow ever so lightly quirked up as he looked at my most likely flustered state. I opened my mouth but no sounds came out.

“First time?” The barista let out in his low voice. I shakily nodded my head before averting my gaze elsewhere. “Can I have a name for the order?” The barista started tapping on the screen in front of him. “Uh, Y/N. Just checking out the competition” I suddenly spoke, effectively shocking myself and him. He furrowed his brow before smiling almost smugly. I thought I saw a hint of a dimple but my attention was drawn elsewhere as he spoke again. 

“Oh, you must work at that dumb little bakery down the road. What is it? Moonlight or something?” I scoffed at his words and felt anger rush through my veins. “I happen to own that very successful bakery. And it’s Sunrise.” I spoke confidently.

“It’s irrelevant. It’ll probably be shut down in three months max at the rate of our shop. But hey it’s nice of you to add to the steady demise of your own bakery by buying something from us. What would you like? Pumpkin spice latte?” He spoke with such ease it infuriated me to no end. 

I turned away from the register to find Mal and leave as soon as possible. I knew coming here was a horrible idea and the sooner I left the better. I found Mal standing by the area to pick up drinks ‘talking’ to another male barista. I walked up next to her and waited for her to look at me but it seemed the only things on her mind were the warm eyes and cocky smirk adorned by plush lips on the other side of the counter. I cleared my throat and stepped closer to her and gained her attention only to lose it two seconds later as she turned back to the boy and introduced me to him.

“This is Y/N, it’s her first time here.” She spoke sweetly and I tried not to gag but the instinct was harder to resist as the barista from before walked up with a drink in hand with a smirk on his face. “Pumpkin spice latte for Y/N. Don’t worry, it’s on the house.” He winked at me before walking away and I scowled at his retreating figure. The barista with warm eyes laughed lightly before speaking, “Well it seems you made friends with our owner, Namjoon.”

Namjoon. Namjoon...blank. I don’t know much about him but I know the important things. He’s the owner of the Hideout Cafe. The self-righteous asshole who took it upon himself to spite me by not only making a basic drink that I will never admit to drinking half of, but also by misspelling my name. As soon as I noticed the lazy scrawl on the side of the cup with a lopsided smiley face next to it, I texted the photographic evidence to Mal and promptly trashed the drink.

I felt a heavy weight on my chest for the rest of the day and couldn’t seem to keep the scowl off my face as I suspiciously looked down the street. I tried to ignore the cocky smirk and the harsh words from earlier by rolling out dough and frosting cupcakes but something about the situation just didn’t sit right with me. Before I could overanalyze or create more conspiracy theories to add to my growing list (42 currently reside on this list and they all seem somewhat plausible) closing time for the bakery came and I started to clean up before walking home. 

My eyes felt droopy as I leaned against the elevator wall. The steady motion was quickly luring me to sleep but I forced my head to face forward as the doors opened and my bed became that much closer. I fumbled with my keys a bit before dropping them on the floor in front of my apartment. I grumbled out a curse before successfully entering and falling into bed after changing my flour ridden clothes. I fell asleep almost instantly and waited to be awoken by the sun through my blinds.

Except that’s not what happened. I awoke at 3:04 am to a loud blaring and lights flashing in my room. I groggily sat up before realizing what was happening. The fire alarm. My eyes widened and I jumped from my bed, grabbing my phone and the first pair of shoes I saw before bolting to my front door. I turned to my left to run to the stairway when I collided with a firm blur and stumbled backward. My vision was still slightly spinning before I heard the voice start to apologize. 

“Ah, shit. Sorry I didn’t see where I was going. I just moved in here and don’t know where to go.” That voice. The voice I had on repeat all afternoon after I left his shop. The voice of Namjoon. Namjoon Last-name.

I opened my eyes and saw him sleepily staring back at me before his ever-present smirk took over his face again. I groaned and threw my head back, begging the universe to tell me this was a joke but the semi hoarse laughter in front of me proved otherwise. 

“Nice slippers, Moonlight” I looked down and saw my fuzzy mermaid slippers on my feet. I let out a huff as I looked at him again before seeing it. His body was completely bare except for the black boxers and single sock on his right foot. My throat dried up and my eyes widened at the sight. I shook my head as the current situation sunk back in. Fire alarm, fire, danger, get to the stairs, get to safety. I ran past him to the stairway and didn’t look back. I couldn’t get stuck up there, I can’t. Visions of thick, black smoke and watery eyes flashed in my mind and my breathing picked up speed. Don’t think, just run.

I found my way to the ground floor and was greeted by a hoard of grumpy, tired people in pajamas crowding the entrance. I tried to squeeze my way through to the exit but as soon as I reached it a hand grabbed my wrist and I yelped before trying to pull my hand free. The hand let go almost instantly and I fearfully looked up only to see Namjoon again looking at me confused. I turned my head away from him and held my wrist close to my chest. 

“Woah, no need to freak out. It was a false alarm but I saw you running for the exit and wanted to stop you.” I dropped my arms and looked at him before seeing the hint of concern lacing his features. I chose to ignore it and said what I had first thought when I saw him in my hallway. 

“Why are you here and why are you naked?” The monotone delivery caught him off guard as his eyebrows raised and he chuckled at me. Those damn dimples proudly being displayed. “You must not have heard me earlier. I just moved in and it’s three in the morning so I was sleeping. This is how I sleep, well except for the boxers anyways.” He smirked again and I tried my hardest to not slap it off his face. I chose to roll my eyes instead and questioned him further.

“What apartment are you?” He had a devious glint in his eyes and I knew what he was thinking. “I’m not asking for that. You were in my hall so I want to know which door to avoid.” He squinted his eyes at me but the boyish grin on his face stayed. He looked me up and down and I crossed my arms over my chest, blushing at the intensity of his gaze. “5B.” He finally stated and I groaned in defeat at his answer. Of course, he lived there. 5B had been vacant for as long as I had lived in this building and I always hoped it would stay that way. “Well what about you,” he started,”which apartment is yours?” I brushed past him and walked to the elevator. The lobby had significantly cleared out since I got there and I decided I would rather sleep than talk to Namjoon Insert-Name-Here. 

The doors opened and I pressed the button for the fifth floor as Namjoon walked on and stared at me. I ignored him and his piercing gaze the entire ride up but he seemed to think this through as he motioned for me to exit first when we reached our floor. “Ladies first,” he said smugly and I grumbled to myself as I walked to my apartment. The number and letter on my door seemed to be mocking me as I stopped in front of them. I heard Namjoon trying to hold back his laughter to my right as he spoke. “Oh, Moonlight, this is gonna be fun.” He opened his door and walked in, leaving me to sulk in the hallway by myself. I banged my head against the door of 5C and felt the urge to scream. Namjoon...whatever his last name was, is going to be the death of me.

I didn’t sleep much after the fire alarms blaring that night. My thoughts were racing much too fast to grant me any type of peace. In fact, I hardly slept at all the few days after that night due to Namjoon constantly having friends over and yelling or blaring music at alarming volumes all night long. I walked groggily down the street to my bakery and fumbled for the keys in my bag. I let out a stream of curses under my breath as they fell to the ground, a seemingly new trait I had developed due to no sleep, and sighed as I leaned to pick them up. I could already tell this day would not be fun.

Customers filed through the shop door and the smell of sugar filled my senses until Mal walked in for her shift clutching two coffee cups. I narrowed my eyes at her cheery smile and the two cups in her hands. “You seriously stopped by that shop again? And you bought me a drink?” I questioned incredulously. Mal playfully rolled her eyes as she walked behind the counter without a care in the world.

“I just so happened to walk in to talk to Jimin and get my regular when a certain someone handed me another on the house.” Mal wiggled her eyebrows as she slid one of the cups towards me. I furrowed my brow, “Jimin? I’ve never heard you talk about them before. And if you’re trying to be subtle and make me guess how you managed to flirt with one guy while charming another so much that he bought you a free drink, it’s not working.” Mal chuckled lightly before shaking her head and explaining.

“You do know Jimin, you two met that day we went to check out the Hideout. He asked me out when I stopped by today and after I agreed your neighbor stopped by to ask me to give you this. Have anything to share, Y/N?” She tapped the lid of the cup and based on the tone she used and the faux innocence in her wide eyes, I knew she was trying to not scream at me for not instantly telling her Namjoon was my neighbor. Or she was trying not to laugh. Laughing seemed to be all the universe was doing to me recently.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply “Unfortunately yes. I found out last week that we live next door to each other.” I could only grumble the words that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Namjoon always seemed to have that effect on me. The fact that he even had an effect on me made it worse. I opened my eyes to see Mal smirking at me while she continuously shifted her gaze to the cup that seemingly shifted closer to my hand resting on the counter.

I picked up the cup slowly, scared it would explode or an animal would come out and attack me at any sudden movement. I saw the messy handwriting on the side that was slowly becoming familiar and felt my blood boil at what it read. My name wasn’t too complicated but once again he had seemed to misspell it so bad that it almost had to be done on purpose. Mal was struggling to hold back her giggles and I glared at her. “You can’t seriously be that mad at him, it’s funny!” She spoke defensively. I threw my head back in defeat and groaned before starting to walk towards the kitchen. 

“But I can be because he’s a self righteous jerk who only cares about himself and doesn’t even try to be a decent human being and spell a name right. I swear, every single thing he does makes me want to scream.” I finally vented as Mal followed me. “I bet he wants to make you scream,” Mal states smugly, making me glare at her over my shoulder before she changed the subject, “So what are you gonna do about it?” She questioned me and I turned to face her with confusion etched across my face. “You keep complaining about the guy and you just let him keep getting to you. You need to annoy him back or at least let him know you’re not going down without a fight. And I’m only saying this since apparently hate sex is off the table.”

I thought for a minute and it didn’t seem like a bad idea. Better than the latter one at least. “I don’t even know what I would do. I can hardly face him without wanting to run away and yell into my pillow.” I was whining and I knew it but in my defense it was true. If I had to look at Namjoon whatever his last name was smirking at me with those dimples one more time I was going to lose it. Mal’s eyes slightly widened and her grin started to grow as I felt fear rise in me. She had an idea and it would most likely end up with injury or prison.

“You live next door to the guy. And his shop is down the road. There’s nothing wrong with a little prank to tell him to back off.” I crossed my arms and opened my mouth to protest only to close it as her words really hit me. It really wasn’t the worst idea ever. I would have to think everything through and leave no room for mistake but he had to know it was me. I had to give him the sign to back off but I couldn’t anger him too much. Luckily though Mal was already listing ideas before I could think of any on my own.

I cut her off after hearing the words ‘peanut butter’, ‘toilet paper’ and ‘hedge clipper’ by putting my hand out and laughing. “Let’s start off tame first. I can barely think straight after getting no slee-'' I suddenly stopped speaking and smiled largely. I knew what I wanted to do but I had to make sure it was perfect. 

I checked the clock on the microwave one more time as I started to get nervous. It was 4:03AM and Namjoon’s front door had closed roughly thirty minutes ago. I hadn’t heard any noise from his apartment aside from the shower and shuffling around. Suddenly I had found benefits to paper thin walls. Everything was perfect and now it was time to set my plan into motion. I loudly swung open my cabinets and turned on my bluetooth speaker as music started to fill the spaces around me. I dropped some metal pans on the floor and slammed a cookie sheet onto my counter for good measure before grabbing my ingredients. I would’ve worried about other neighbors complaining but I thankfully had an apartment on the corner of the hall. Only Namjoon would be able to hear the noise I made.

 I worked loudly and sang along to the music coming from my speakers. Soon enough the electric mixer was loudly whirring and the oven was beeping to alert me of the temperature being reached. I had just aggressively closed the oven door when I heard a harsh banging at my door. I smiled and ignored it. I had riskily left the front door unlocked and just as I had assumed, Namjoon Last Name raced into my apartment after knocking and being ignored once again. 

He walked to my kitchen and found my speaker, quickly turning it off. I didn’t even glance up at him once as he breathed heavily through his nose and stared at me. “Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?” He spoke angrily and I tried not to laugh. “Yep” I replied coolly. “What are you do- are you baking a cake? It’s 4am. Why are you baking a cake? And what’s with the party decorations?” He spoke confusedly as he looked around at the streamers and balloons decorating my apartment. “I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity. Want a cookie?” 

I finally looked at him and kept a straight face as his jaw hung open and his eyes narrowed. “A cookie? No I don’t want a fucking cookie. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He threw his hands up and looked at me like I was crazy. I think I probably was after almost a week of no sleep, but I kept up the act. “You sound tense. The cupcakes should be done soon, maybe they’ll help you loosen up.” Namjoon huffed and talked to me like I was a child. “I’m pissed. You can’t just fucking make all the noise in the world at 4AM and expect everyone to sleep through it and be okay with it-”

I pointed my rubber spatula at him and glared, effectively cutting him off. “Why not? It’s all you seem to do every night when you have friends over and scream at a television for four hours straight.” I stuck a finger into the frosting I was in the process of creating and put it in my mouth to suck the frosting off. “Needs more vanilla” I mumbled to myself. I still had some left on my finger and stuck out my tongue to effectively lick the rest of it off and went back to mixing. Namjoon was silent. After a minute of ignoring him I looked up, almost expecting him to be gone but there he was. His jaw was tense and his eyes slightly wide while his eyebrows almost raised to the top of his head. 

He looked away as I met his eye and grunted out a “Just keep it down okay?” Before bolting out the door and leaving me confused in my kitchen. I put some plastic wrap over my frosting and put the cupcakes onto a cooling rack before retiring to my bed for a few hours of sleep. Namjoon was on my mind though. He seemed to leave pretty quickly and I wondered if I had gone too far. Did I get him too angry? Did I cross a line with what I said? I pushed away those thoughts since I was only doing and saying what he had to me. It couldn’t be that bad. 

Could it?

I slept surprisingly well after Namjoon left. My alarm greeted me only a few, short hours later, however, I felt like I had slept for years. I took a quick shower and started to get ready for the day when I heard movement through the thin walls of my bedroom. Namjoon was awake. Namjoon. My eyes widened at the thought of him and his probable reaction to my little prank last night. My heart beat started to accelerate ever so slightly as I hurriedly finished getting ready.

I slowly opened my bedroom door and peeked my head out slowly. I turned to thoroughly inspect every hidden corner for anything Namjoon could have planted while I was sleeping but found nothing. Nevertheless I was still paranoid. I walked to my kitchen quickly and grabbed a granola bar before slipping on my shoes and heading to the door. I was ready to get to my shop and away from the close proximity of him.

I felt my phone vibrate rapidly in my pocket and groaned as I barely had enough energy and concentration to focus on getting my shoes on the right feet. I saw Mal’s name on the screen and answered quickly. I couldn’t even get a word in as she instantly greeted me with a warm “Where the hell are you?!” and I winced as I pulled the phone away from my poor ear.

“I’m leaving the apartment? Same time as usual.” I stated tiredly. Mal wasted no time as she once again responded too loudly for this hour. “You forgot what day it is, didn’t you?” I froze at her words and pulled my phone away to see the date on the screen. A bold ‘February 4th’ stared back at me and my eyes widened once again that morning. Shit.

Ever since we became friends, Mal and I had created a tradition. On the same day every year we would meet up and spend the day together doing whatever we needed at the time. Some years we went shopping for dates we had or prom dresses, others we stayed at home doing face masks and watching Queer Eye and some harder years we ate ice cream and vented about how much life sucked and how glad we were to have each other. The most important year though was when we moved out to Seoul together after graduating college and saving up money for plane tickets and moving expenses. This day was our day and it always had been, it was more important than some official holidays to us and it was today. February 4th. 

“I love you?” I tried pathetically and Mal laughed at my response, already knowing I had forgotten. Thankfully she wasn’t angry with me as she playfully replied, “You move out of our place for three months and suddenly you forget the most important day of the year.” I laughed but couldn’t help the guilt I felt weighing me down. Mal was my best friend, my rock and I wouldn’t be doing half of the things I had accomplished without her by my side. 

Seemingly reading my mind Mal spoke softly, “Don’t feel bad Y/N/N, I’ve easily forgotten at least four times in the past. I’m coming by yours in a bit and we can decide what the plan is from there.” I smiled even though she couldn’t see it and we said our goodbyes before hanging up. I walked to the front door to be ready to meet her in the lobby as she wasn’t too far from me. I went to lock my door but decided against it as we probably would just end up there for the day and walked to the elevator. 

“Junk food and netflix?” Mal spoke as I opened her car door and got in. I eagerly agreed and we headed to our first stop: the closest convenience store. It easily was the most cost effective option and yet another monument of our friendship. Whenever we were bored or wanted to hang out we always ended up at the closest convenience store and always bought too many things (mainly snacks) we didn’t need. It was always worth it.

After spending too much time and money we headed back to Mal’s apartment and got ready to spend the day together. We pulled up ‘After’ on Netflix because we knew how bad it would be and wanted to laugh at ourselves and each other for reading the original Harry Styles fanfic the movie was based on. After pausing the movie a million times to laugh and talk about what chapter this would be, Mal turned to me and spoke genuinely, “How are you today?” I sighed and looked her in the eye. I smiled as big as I could and told her the truth. “Could be better. It’s always going to be hard though and my neighbor really isn’t helping things.” 

February 4th wasn’t a randomly chosen date. It was a date chosen to help me be prepared for another significant date just around the corner. Mal smiled and nodded in understanding before speaking again, “What would be best for us to do the rest of today?” This is why I loved Mal. She knew the real reason why this day was created and she still never tried to do what she thought I needed to have fun or be okay with it or even ignore it. She always wanted to make sure I was doing what I needed for myself.

I smiled again, larger this time and told her gratefully, “Honestly watching ‘This Is Us’ and crying over One Direction sounds great right now.” We laughed before we pulled the movie and cuddled up together under the blankets. I was so lucky.

I got back to my apartment around 9pm that night with a smile on my face. Today was great and I knew it would help me be prepared for the next important day. I went to unlock my door but it was already unlocked. I froze as I remembered not locking it this morning in case we ended up here and felt my heart drop as I heard the TV on inside. I knew I didn’t leave it on this morning as I hardly used it in general and I braced myself as I slowly opened the door, ready to face whatever burglar or serial killer was inside. Only it was worse.

Namjoon was relaxed and sprawled out on my couch with his feet on the coffee table in front of him. He had a mug with tea in it next to his feet and I gaped at him. He turned to me as he heard the door open and smiled smugly at my expression. “Oh, hey you’re back.” He turned back to the TV and I was too shocked to move from my place in the doorway. He spoke casually like he had every right to be in there. “You know, you should probably stop leaving your door unlocked. You never know what creep or weirdo could walk in.” He took a sip of his tea and raised his brows at me. 

I started to mutter out a response but he stood from the couch and cut me off from my stuttering. “I just want to apologize for keeping you up last week. It’s not cool and I learned my lesson completely. It won’t happen again.” He spoke sincerely and it was honestly scary to hear him talk without sounding sarcastic or cruel. I narrowed my eyes at him and spoke in disbelief, “Really? So...we’re cool?” Namjoon laughed genuinely with his award winning dimples in view as I arched my brow in confusion. He patted my shoulder as he replied. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

With that he walked past me and out the door, closing it behind him and calling for me to “Make sure you lock it”. I looked around my apartment for anything that seemed broken or tampered with to ignore the pounding of my heart and the heat that lingered where his hand was. After coming up empty handed I was confused. Surely he would’ve tried to get me back. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone so far like I did and just talked to him. I sighed and groaned as I felt guilt start to swallow me up again that day. 

It wasn’t until I moved to get ready for bed that I saw I had no need to feel guilty at all. I was right about him. I should’ve gone further than what I did because he did get me back. He had replaced something of mine I hadn’t thought of before and it was way worse than I could’ve imagined. Sitting innocently on top of my dresser was a little note with his messy scrawl reading ‘Gotcha ;)’ and I panicked. I looked through all my shirts, pants, socks but found nothing until I looked in the last drawer. I gasped as I saw his handiwork and couldn’t believe it. He had replaced my entire underwear collection with brand new, lacy thongs.

To say I was fuming would be an understatement. Not only had he completely invaded my privacy but he had touched and stolen things that were for my eyes only. I had to use every ounce of strength in my body to not feel embarrassed that he had seen my lackluster collection since that was not the issue here. I couldn’t just ask him to give them back and at the moment putting on my dirty pair I discarded after the quick shower I had taken was also not an option. I swallowed my pride and slipped a lacy red thong with floral details up my legs and dove into bed hoping to forget my day and have sleep take over me.

Shockingly, I seemed to once again be the only one who found my situation infuriating. Mal was practically suffering the next morning as she tried to hold in her laughter at my explanation of the night before. My glare did nothing to ease her laughter that had finally bubbled out of her loudly and I brushed past her into the kitchen in my shop. I ignored her wheezing as I pulled out the bowls and ingredients for the day. Today called for a new creation and ultimate focus since all I could think of was the fact that I could feel the soft material of my sundress against just about every part of me.

Tying my apron around my waist, I got to work. I started with cupcakes as I was constantly out of stock of my new flavor “Maliblue”. It was a spring themed cupcake with lemon flavored cake and a blueberry frosting. The hoards of college students on spring break back at home posting pictures at beaches inspired the name and surprisingly it sold well for a small bakery in Korea. As I placed my first batch in the oven I got to thinking on what to do next. I wanted something new and good. 

Before I could clearly think out any ideas I started grabbing ingredients and let my body work for me. Mal walked back, seemingly calmed down and ready to let me vent. “Alright I’m sorry but you can not tell me you don't see any humor in this!” 

I rolled my eyes and pushed a stubborn strand of hair back behind my ear as I worked on the mystery item in front of me. “Honestly I don’t see any humor in him discovering my granny panty collection.” I murmured under my breath. My eyes widened as I spoke and I hoped she hadn’t heard me, but as her smile widened and she crossed her arms over her chest smugly I knew the damage was done. “So that’s why you’re upset. You’re embarrassed cause the guy you like saw your underwear and now he probably doesn't think you’re sexy. I mean it’s understandable.” 

I fought the urge to wipe her smug grin off her face and instead spoke in a tone way too defensive “I do not like him and couldn’t give two shits if he thought I was sexy.” This only made her grin widen even further and my growing blush worsen. I groaned at the sight and went back to mixing the batter in front of me. I apparently was in a cupcake mood as that’s what I decided to make with it.

“What are you making?” Mal questioned as I moved to grab some cream cheese and raspberries from the fridge and I shrugged in response because I truly didn’t know. I had finished the chocolate cake batter and now started on a filling. I heard Mal’s phone buzz and she grabbed it at lightning speed while smiling at her screen. I raised my eyebrows in reaction to her sudden movement and she gave me an apologetic glance before hurriedly typing out a response. It was now my turn to question her and she seemed to realize this as she innocently looked at me before trying to dip her finger in the chocolate batter.

I swatted her hand away and put my hands on my hips while tilting my head at her accusingly. She sighed and started to blush before I even asked the question she knew was on my mind. “So who is he?” I suddenly spoke and Mal flushed even further before smiling and quietly muttering “Jimin” in response. I kind of expected his name even though I constantly teased her for ‘liking the enemy’. Before I could question her further though, the oven dinged and the front door swung open against the bells above it, signalling a new customer. “Literally saved by the bell.” I spoke as I went to the oven.

She darted to the front of the store leaving me confused as she never was excited to greet customers. I shook it off and pulled the cupcakes from the oven, continuing to mix the filling for my new batch as they cooled. After placing the chocolate batter in a greased tin and placing them in the oven, I walked out of the kitchen, wiping my hands on my apron, and froze. Of course it wasn’t just a customer that had come in. It was Jimin and behind him stood an amused looking Namjoon. I rolled my eyes at the sight and overheard Mal and Jimin talking about their plans for the evening. I smiled slightly hearing them so excited and watching them act like love sick puppies.

“Wow you sure know how to greet your customers huh?” Spoke a familiar voice and my smile vanished. I still hadn’t come up with my plan to get him back and I honestly didn’t have the patience to face him while wearing lace. That he had bought.

“I wouldn’t consider you a customer, more like a nuisance.” I spoke boldly and his signature wicked grin appeared. Before he could speak up again Mal put her hand on my shoulder. “I’ve just had a great idea.” She spoke loudly, gaining everyone's attention. “Oh no.” I mumbled at the glint in her eyes. “Why don’t you and Namjoon join me and Jimin tonight? I’m sure staying here all night can’t possibly be better than mini golf and ice cream.” She spoke sweetly but I knew better. 

Jimin instantly agreed and I saw a similar look of dread on Namjoon’s face as I turned to face him. It quickly vanished though as he replaced it with a cocky smirk and made eye contact with me as she spoke “That is a great idea. It’s a date.” I almost choked on my spit at his words but before I could retort, he glanced at his watch and got Jimin’s attention as they had to head back to their shop. “See you at closing, Moonlight.” He winked after his words and was out the door. I saw Mal turn to me with eyebrows raised and knew she was going to question the nickname but the oven dinged once again and I sheepishly told her, “Saved by the bell?”

I had finished my new cupcakes and placed them out to be sold when shockingly they sold out. I had to remake them twice throughout the day but had yet to come up with a name for them. Before I could though, it was closing time and Jimin and Namjoon had come back to the shop, ready to go mini golfing. I cursed myself for wearing a short sundress and jean jacket as Seoul decided wind was a great idea tonight. I locked the door to the shop and we headed off. Before we got too far, however, Namjoon pulled me back to walk with him and leaned into my ear as he spoke “Hope you’re wearing one of my presents tonight under that dress, Moonlight.” I felt my jaw drop as he let go of my arm and innocently smiled before walking off to join Jimin and Mal.

This was going to be a long night.

Walking to mini golf felt like an eternity with Namjoon standing next to me, towering over my frame, and with Mal and Jimin giggling and holding hands in front of us. I didn’t realize I was staring at them until a chuckle sounded from next to me. “What?” I asked him questioningly. He smiled softly at me and I felt my heart clench at the sight. This was the first time he had looked at me with anything other than cockiness or venom in his eyes. I brushed off the feeling as shock and waited for him to reply. 

“You just had a funny face is all. You looked bored, angry and like you were plotting some evil plan all at once.” He spoke jokingly and I sighed at his answer. “Why does everyone say that?” I groaned and Namjoon looked at me confused but intrigued. I answered the question I knew he was about to ask, “Everyone says I look like I’m plotting something and I never am. I don’t plot anything. Ever.” Namjoon just laughed lightly at that and looked up at the setting sun.

“If it means anything, you look cute when you plot how to escape third-wheeling. You furrow your eyebrows and squint your eyes and get all focused.” He looked sheepish as he finished his statement and scratched at his neck before he shoved his hands in his pockets. I felt heat rise to my cheeks and cleared my throat before retorting. “Don’t think you can just try to smooth talk me and make me forgive you for your little prank last night.” I sounded much more confident than I felt and I praised whatever higher power for giving me that strength.

Namjoon smirked but it wasn’t cocky like it usually was. He hung his head down and shook his head while smiling, dimples proudly on display. We were quiet for a while after that but soon we were at the mini golf place and practically pulled inside by Mal and Jimin. The interior was dark and covered in blacklights and neon paints lit up the otherwise hidden walls and courses. Jimin paid for Mal and I went to grab my wallet when Namjoon stopped me with his question of “What color ball do you want, Moonlight?”. I quirked a brow at him in slight protest before he tilted his head at me in response and sighed out a ‘green’ in indignation.

He grinned in triumph as he received our balls and the score card from the teenage cashier. He tossed me my green ball which I easily caught and rolled my eyes as he led me to the first hole. My worn, white shoes lit up under the lights as well as Namjoon’s shirt under his flannel and warm looking jacket. He boyishly smiled at the sight and his eyes widened as he did so. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of him acting like a little kid and he looked like a deer in headlights as he realized he was caught. 

I placed my ball down after Mal hugged a blushing Jimin for getting a hole in one and was ready to give a half assed attempt at hitting the ball before Namjoon asked in shock “What are you doing?” like I was committing a crime. I stood up straight in confusion and lazily gestured to my ball before responding plainly “Playing mini golf. It’s not like I’m trying to win or anything.” I leaned back over before he moved towards me. I stood up again and held out my hand for him to stop before speaking again.

“No. Absolutely not. You’re not about to pull some cheesy rom com bullshit on me where the guy goes behind the girl to ‘help with her technique’. Go stand by that neon pink dick on the wall and look pretty while I take five attempts at getting this ball in the hole.” I pointed my finger at the wall as I spoke and he laughed loudly at my speech before raising his hands in surrender and stepping close to the wall with said spray painted neon pink dick. He crossed his arms and challenged me with his eyes to do as I said I would.

“Thank you.” I curtsied in my sundress and he laughed in response. It took me four tries before I finished while Namjoon got it in two and we walked to the next hole before realizing Mal and Jimin were far ahead of us. I sighed at the sight of the next 17 holes and Namjoon nudged me with his elbow. “You know, the tickets for mini golf also came with unlimited arcade credits.” he pointed his head in the direction of the arcade on the other side of the courses. I smiled and started walking towards the bright lights and sounds of the games being played before speaking over my shoulder “I’ll kick your ass in skeeball.” 

“You’re a cheater.” Namjoon spoke grumpily as I won another game and beat him. We played a few rounds of skeeball then moved on to air hockey where he destroyed me and I sulked until we played mario kart where I came in second to him again. I pouted until he led me to the basketball game where I beat his ass twice. 

I laughed at his words as we walked to the counter for prizes. “I never cheat. You just chose to get your ass handed to you by a girl. It’s okay, Joon. Happens to the best of us.” He stopped moving and smiled and I grabbed his wrist to drag him to the counter before dropping all our tickets onto it. “Stop smiling like a doofus and get me that angry minion.” I put my hands on my hips as I spoke and he looked at the worker before saying “You heard the lady.” and pushing our tickets to them. 

He kept smiling and looking at his shoes as if they were incredibly interesting before I flicked his shoulder and asked him “What are you smiling at?” He shook his head and grabbed the minion from the employee’s hand and mine in his other hand. I blushed lightly at the sudden contact and moved to keep up with him. “You called me Joon. It’s cute. I usually reserve that nickname for family and close friends so the fact I’m not throwing your ass outside and blocking off all contact with you is a shock to us all.”

I laughed at his statement and we soon ran into Mal and Jimin who looked equally smug and love sick as ever. Mal looked down to our still interlocked hands and I quickly withdrew mine from Namjoon’s grasp before speaking. “So. Ice cream anyone?”

The walk to the parlor was quiet and Namjoon looked deep in thought as his hands were shoved in his pockets and his brows were furrowed. The ice cream shop we were going to wasn’t even a real shop as it was a cart with outdoor seating under strung lights and wooden beams. The wind had only gotten worse as the night went on so the cold was brutal against my exposed skin. I pulled my surprisingly thin jean jacket tight around my frame and moved my hands quickly up and down my arms in an attempt to gain some warmth. Suddenly a hand stopped my quick movements and I was pulled into a firm body. I looked up in shock as Namjoon hugged me tightly against him and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I tried to push away from him but he was so warm I was finding it hard to resist. “Stop pushing, Moonlight. Put your arms inside my jacket, it’ll warm you up.” I eyed him suspiciously and he sighed before rolling his eyes and starting to pull away. I practically shouted in protest as I felt the sudden frigid wind hit me again. I hesitantly listened to him and leaned fully against him with my arms inside of his incredibly warm jacket.

“Who’s bullshit idea was it to get ice cream outside.” I grumbled against his chest. I felt the vibrations of him laughing at my words and felt soothed at the sensation. I closed my eyes and released a breath I hadn’t known I was holding in. His arms rubbed up and down my back and I felt tension leave my body as we started to sway side to side. “I’m still pissed at you.” I spoke again and I felt him look down at me. I met his amused eyes and put my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. “Damn, you mean my plan to woo you and make you fall for me so you’ll forget how mad you are hasn’t worked yet?” 

I smiled at him and breathily laughed before speaking with new found confidence. “Barely. It might’ve worked if I wasn’t wearing red lace all day with no one to admire. It’s frustrating really. If only I were wooed.” 

Nobody could have prepared me for the absolute chaos that came from joining Jimin and Mal on their date. It was only the next morning and my phone hadn’t stopped buzzing due to texts and calls from Mal. I only briefly glanced at them before I went to sleep the night before and knew she was begging for “details” of the night she imagined happened. Namjoon had walked me back to our building after we finished up our ice cream. We walked in silence with our hands brushing slightly with every sudden movement. After a few blocks I crossed my arms over my chest, too high off the feeling of his skin against mine, no matter how miniscule and told myself it was due to how cold I was. 

I was utterly dumbfounded. Yes, Namjoon was undeniably attractive and we had gotten along well throughout our night together but he was still Namjoon. The guy stealing my business, my noisy neighbor who replaced all my underwear, the jerk who couldn’t even attempt to spell my name right, Namjoon. He made my blood boil and my heart race but it was beginning to get confusing as I couldn’t distinguish the anger for something else. We parted ways as he stopped in front of his door and I kept walking to mine. I thought he was about to speak but I had already opened my door and rushed in before he could utter a single syllable.

Sleep didn’t come easy, and before I knew it I had tossed and turned until 5am. I sighed and pushed myself up to get ready. I clearly wasn’t going to rest and the only form of relaxation I knew was a few blocks down the road. I shrugged on my clothes after a quick shower and grabbed my keys before heading out. I froze as I heard the door next to mine open as I was locking my own and willed myself to not look at him as I heard the footsteps suddenly stop just like mine had.

I finished locking my door and turned in the direction of the elevator without making any effort to actually walk towards it. Namjoon quickly closed and locked his door and suddenly we were in a silent battle of who would speak first. Shy glances and nervous movements could only do so much and he seemed to grow tired of it as he spoke up first. “Early morning?” He asked as he reached up to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly. It seemed to be a nervous habit of his but before I could think about what that made me feel I responded. “Couldn’t sleep.” I spoke sheepishly and played with my hands in front of me.

I took in a breath and looked up with a smile as I walked to the elevator behind him. He joined me and soon the doors were closing behind us. “Was I too loud or anything? I was kinda up all night too. Just...thinking.” He grew quiet as he finished and I assured him it had nothing to do with him. At least I think so. We once again started walking down the road to our respective shops by each other's side. Our hands brushed again and I praised the yawn that left my body as it gave me an excuse to move my hand away from his. He looked over at me and once again looked like he wanted to say something. This time, however, I let him say what was on his mind.

“Do you maybe want a coffee? I mean that’s at least why I left my place.” I looked up at him and blinked away the tears that had formed due to my yawning and saw something flash in his eyes and a small smile grow on his face. I was hesitant to spend more time alone with him but before I could deny him another yawn left me and he chuckled. “Come on, Moonlight, I think I know a good place.”

We made our way to the Hideout Cafe and he grabbed the keys from his back pocket before holding the door open for me. I smiled at him in thanks and took in the coffee shop once again. It was different at this time of day. The chairs were stacked up and pushed against the walls along with the wooden tables, the dim lights were calming as the sun had yet to rise and fill up the shop with its bright rays. Namjoon moved easily behind the counter and turned on some machines I didn’t recognize. I stood next to the door taking in all the artwork and posters lining the walls before I noticed a section at the corner of the shop. There was a wooden ledge lining the corner covered in pillows and soft looking blankets. The lights hanging above it made it look inviting and I slowly walked towards the bookcases on the wall next to the makeshift reading nook.

I looked at the familiar and unknown titles until I heard Namjoon call for me. I turned to answer him only to see him walking towards me. “I didn’t see this here the first time I came.” I spoke softly and he smiled at me before pulling a book off the ledge and placing it on the shelf where it belonged. “When I bought this place the corner seat was already here so it just felt right to add everything else.” He shrugged as he spoke but the almost longing look he wore towards the books told me there was something more to his story.

He turned to me again as he spoke “What would you like?” and his right arm stretched out to the chalkboard menu above the counter. I walked with him to stand in front of it to get a better look but couldn’t decide. I bit down on my lip in concentration as I tried to figure out something right to order. I didn’t want to get something embarrassing and ‘basic’ but I wanted something that tasted good. Namjoon stood next to me and looked at the side of my face before I decided to say what I thought was a good answer. “Surprise me.”

And surprise me, he definitely did. I moved to lean against the counter as I watched him work. We talked about random facts and our favorite things and every few minutes I would ask what he was making before he would continue to avoid my question. After a seemingly never ending wait he handed me my to go cup with steam and an addicting aroma wafting up to my nose. He already looked smug before I even took a sip and I knew it was going to be good. I took the lid off to let it cool off and smell it clearly. Fed up with my stalling, Namjoon rolled his eyes and ordered me to drink it. I huffed out a sigh and did as he said. I was right. It was good. Before I could stroke his ego with my full review of the magical drink in my hands I had to open up my own shop.

That didn’t cause the image of him smirking and calling out to me “Bye, Moonlight.” to leave my mind for the rest of the day. If anything it only made me long to see him even sooner. Mal had burst into the shop on schedule and I prepared myself for her interrogation. “Well you two were certainly cozy last night. It’s truly amazing how well you can get along with others when you aren’t trying to rip their head off.” I rolled my eyes before changing the subject. “I was only trying to get close to him and make him think I don’t have my next prank planned and ready to go.” 

Mal laughed at my words before looking me in the eye and speaking confidently, “If you wanted my help coming up with a prank you could’ve just asked instead of lying.” I laughed before looking at her with pleading eyes. “My God you’re hopeless.” She sighed and I silently cheered as I knew she was going to help.

A few google searches, texts to Jimin, and a visit to a public library copy machine later we were ready. It was still only noon and I sent Mal out to put up all the flyers we had made before taking a lunch break together. I was nervous to see how this went. I wouldn’t be around him all day and I was relying on updates from Jimin to see how everything was going. All I could gather from the last text Mal had received and read out to me was that Namjoon was pissed. Mission accomplished. 

Walking to my building on my own felt lonely after having someone with me the night before and this morning. I brushed that thought aside as I knew Namjoon would be home soon as I saw Jimin turning the ‘Open’ sign on the door to the Hideout Cafe to ‘Closed’ before giving me a wink. 

I had made it to the elevator in the lobby before the door to the building opened behind me. I felt a shiver go down my spine in anticipation and excitement. Sure enough a tired and annoyed looking Namjoon stood next to me while glaring down at his phone. I bit back my laugh and pressed the button for our floor in silence. He leaned his head back onto the elevator wall and let out a deep breath. I started to feel guilty but he didn’t know I was to blame for the likely endless calls he had received today so I swallowed my fear and walked to my door as the elevator came to a stop at our floor. 

I was putting my key into the lock when I heard a deep groan and ringtone start to play loudly. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I heard Namjoon angrily speak into the phone “No this is not the number for Chewbaca roaring contest, please don’t call again.” before hanging up. I laughed before clamping a hand over my mouth quickly, but it was too late. Namjoon looked over at me and realization flashed across his face followed my anger and...hurt? He opened his door before slamming it behind him and I continued to laugh until I made my way inside my own apartment. That’s when the confusion hit. Why did the hurt look on his face make me feel guilty all over again?

I woke up not being able to breathe. My eyes were open wide and I continued to cough and wheeze, trying to desperately fill my burning lungs with the air they craved. I threw my duvet off my body and fell to the floor of my bedroom coughing with tears streaming down my face. 

“Y/N run!” 

No. This isn’t real. It’s all a dream. My head was tormenting me with memories from that night. My chest started to rise and fall frantically due to the lack of oxygen and the flashing images behind my eyelids.

“Help! Please someone help me!” I was running around the hoards of people filling my street and in front of my house. There were red and blue lights flashing and blurring my vision until all I saw was a kaleidoscope of the two colors.

I clamped my hands over my ears and let out a violent sob. I couldn’t see clearly in front of me. There was a thin fog covering the room and burning my eyes.

I fell to my knees and sobbed until I was mobbed by a herd of paramedics and police officers. I was hysterical. “Please, just help me please! They're still inside please, they were on the second floor please!” I pushed away hands full of gauze and bandages, trying to get them to just understand. “My mom and sister are still inside please! Go get them” All of my senses were overpowered by fiery embers and heat, yet I could see more clearly than ever as a firefighter walked quickly to a police officer helping to try and calm me down. I was zeroed in on the interaction and would never forget the feeling of my heart dropping and shattering when they pulled away and looked back on me with that undeniable look of pity on their faces.

I screamed and felt all of the life leave my body as I fell to the asphalt below me. There was silence. I couldn’t hear my screams of agony, feel the hands pulling me up and into an ambulance, taste the smoke that I had been choking on earlier, smell the burnt remnants of my home that had gone up in flames, or see anything aside from the flashing images of my mother and sister in my mind.

I was rocking back and forth, mumbling incoherently, and sobbing as I curled into myself at the foot of my bed. I felt my body being shaken and shot my eyes open to see the concerned face of Mal above me. Her hands were on my shoulders and she was calling out my name. I launched into her arms and continued sobbing into her shoulder. She brushed her hands through my hair and held me until I was only hiccuping every few seconds. 

“I came to check up on you because I know 5 years is a big anniversary. What happened? I could smell that air freshener from the elevator.” She spoke softly as she looked into my eyes with concern. I furrowed my brows in confusion before looking around the room. “What? It’s not the 14th yet, Mal. Right?” She pulled my phone off the nightstand and showed me the screen with the date I’ve despised for the past 5 years on the screen. I felt my heart drop and tears well up all over again. I blinked them back before continuing to answer her second question.

“I don’t know what happened. I woke up and I couldn’t breathe or see clearly. What do you mean you could smell the air freshener? I didn’t spray anything.” As I calmed down more I could smell the overpowering scent of fruit and hibiscus. I scrunched up my face and gagged at the suffocating aromas. Mal furrowed her brows and grabbed an almost empty aerosol can of air freshener from beside her. “I mean I assumed you didn’t do this since I had to cut a zip tie off of it. Babe, I think you were pranked.” It made sense. The surprise and shock of it, the zip tie, all of it. 

I shook my head and moved to stand up. “What are you doing?” Mal questioned. I moved to my closet and grabbed some jeans and an old t-shirt. “Getting ready for work. I was pranked, it’s not the end of the world or a reason for me to stop living life as per usual.” I couldn’t meet her eyes as I spoke. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened. Especially today. Mal sighed before standing as well. “I know it still hurts. Anyone in your place would feel the exact same way. But it’s been 5 years since that fire and I know the anniversaries always hit you harder as the years go by. When you choose to talk to me, I’ll be here.”

I nodded my head as I held onto my clothes for the day. 5 years. 5 years. They died exactly 5 years ago today and I still missed them like it was day one. I let out a sigh before starting to get dressed.

I spent all day in the bakery trying to avoid all my emotions I had kept bottled up. It was getting harder to ignore everything but being in my safe place usually made it bearable. However, today I was confused. Customers kept asking for refunds repeatedly throughout the day and I didn’t understand why. I baked everything fresh this morning, the same as I always have. Even my regulars were complaining and throwing perfectly fine food into the trash. It seemed like the cherry on top of everything that had happened already. Mal and I struggled to find the answer for hours. We retraced and rebaked until our heads were spinning.

I was dealing with a new customer who was demanding a refund when the answer became clear. “It’s just pure salt! Honestly how can you run a bakery and mix up your salt and sugar!” I froze. The customer continued to rant but I felt like I was underwater. I know for a fact I had used the sugar. I hadn’t mixed up like that since I was a child experimenting at home. I quickly apologised and handed the customer their money before rushing back to the kitchen. Mal had watched the encounter and followed quickly behind me. I practically threw the sugar container onto my work table before ripping off the plastic lid. I put my finger inside and tasted the white contents. Salt. I was dumbfounded. How could this have happened.

The bell above the shop sounded and I walked out to greet the customer while trying to hide the confusion on my face. I walked in view of my “customer” and felt like a brick wall had collapsed onto me. I felt the pricking of tears behind my eyes and my mouth grew dry at the sight. Namjoon was standing in front of the register looking smug as ever and I felt utterly stupid. 

“What’s wrong, Moonlight? Shop’s empty, looks like you’ve been having some trouble with customer satisfaction today. Wonder why.” I untied my apron and tossed it off quickly before going to the back to grab my things. Mal looked up at my sudden appearance and I spoke before she could. “You know what, you were right. Today is a big deal. I’m closing up for the rest of the day. It’s too much.” I was trembling as I grabbed my purse and walked out to avoid her concerned gaze. Namjoon was still standing at the register as I walked to the front door. He looked confused and worried but I bit my lip hard to avoid crying in front of him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong. It was just a prank I didn’t think-” I turned around to face him and pointed my finger at him. “You’re a fucking asshole you know? This is my livelihood and my everything. I could’ve maybe handled you fucking with my business any other day of the year but today it’s way too much. Whatever prank war or competition we were doing to spite each other is done. Congrats! You won. Now never touch me or my things or come into my apartment or store ever again.” The tears were freely flowing down my face but I didn’t care. 

“Wait, Moonli-” Namjoon reached out for me but I turned and opened the door before he could finish. “And don’t call me that. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. What’s the point of stupid nicknames for people you don’t really know or want to talk to ever again.” I walked out before he could stop me again, not halting until I was at my apartment. I locked the door behind me and fell onto the couch with sobs and memories of laughter and people I’ll never get back lulling me to sleep.

Coping has always been difficult for me. I never really understood that I could let out my emotions and talk about them with people without being judged or told it’s not important. It only got harder for me when my mom and sister died five years ago. I never talked about it. I avoided the emotions and my guilt and pain from that day for five years and I was only hurting more as a result. I was curled up on my couch under a fuzzy blanket with tears streaming down my face, but I didn’t feel anything besides numbness. I wasn’t struggling to catch my breath or having sobs shake my body, I was numb. I was on my couch for what felt like infinity but realistically was probably a few hours. It was dark outside and no matter how exhausted I was, I knew sleep would never come.

I heard a soft knock at my door and made no move to answer it. My phone was abandoned on the coffee table and hadn’t been touched since I first came home. I knew Mal had been trying to reach me as the vibrations hadn’t stopped all day. The knocking came again, louder this time. I took as deep of a breath that I could manage before moving to sit up. I pulled my blanket tight around my body as I walked to the door. I didn’t check the peep hole because nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn’t care.

I unlocked the door and opened it to see a worried Namjoon….I still didn't know his last name. Further proof of why he shouldn’t be here and why I shouldn’t feel warm inside that he is. He looked up to meet my eyes and his expression fell into a sorrowful one laced with confusion. I turned back around and walked towards my couch, not in the mood for formalities.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke softly yet confident as I sat down. I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. “Why are you here?” I croaked out. He took a step closer and I felt my body tense slightly. He stopped moving before answering, “Why would I be anywhere else? I hurt you and I need you to know it wasn’t my plan for that to happen.” He started to scratch the back of his neck and I sighed.

“It’s not your fault.” My voice was shaky and my eyes filled with tears. I cleared my throat and looked up at him. He looked sad and curious and I knew I couldn’t keep it all in anymore. I scooted over on my couch and motioned my hand for him to join me. He hesitantly obeyed but never took his gaze off of me. “I need to be honest.” I spoke softly. He moved his hand above my shoulder to comfort me, before moving it back to his lap. I took in a breath before speaking about something I thought would be internalized forever.

“Five years ago I lived in a small town in Colorado. I had lived there my whole life and was happy. It was just my mom, sister, and I in a small house with a gorgeous view of the mountains. Mal lived in the neighborhood with us and we’ve basically been joint at the hip since birth.” I stopped as the night came back to me. I closed my eyes tightly and Namjoon turned towards me. I don’t know why, but I reached out and grasped his hand. He squeezed my smaller one tightly before rubbing circles into the back of my palm with his thumb.

“One night, we were having a sleepover. We were 18 but acted like children so we made a blanket fort in the living room. We watched movies all night and eventually we decided to go to my room so we could sleep. We thought we unplugged everything but we were tired and there was a stupid fucking candle. My room was on the first floor but my mom and sister’s were on the second.” I felt Namjoon squeeze my hand tighter and I let out a choked sob. He pulled me into his arms and rocked me slowly.

I cried into his chest as his hands rubbed my back soothingly. After I started to calm down a bit, I pulled back a bit to look at him. “We made it out. The neighbors had already called but there was no way they could’ve made it down the stairs without being trapped by the fire. I did it. I killed them. It’s been five years today and I’ve never talked about it. So it’s not your fault, Joon. It’s all mine because I’m too much of a coward to accept what I did five years ago.”

Namjoon gently placed his hand on my face and turned it to look into his eyes. “It never has been, and never will be your fault. It was an accident. Don’t carry that guilt because it’s not true. Okay?” I felt more tears flow and he wiped them away. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, it’s just that baking is how I try to cope. I mean I still bottled up everything so I guess it didn’t work too well but-” Namjoon cut me off with his next words. I was shocked after he did. He looked into my eyes with nothing but kindness and genuity. 

“Teach me how to bake.” 

“What?” I started to wonder if confiding in him was the right choice since it seemed that he didn’t even know how to listen to me.

“You said it helps you cope, and it clearly makes you happy. I want you to start learning that it's okay to not get over something as big as that in one conversation. And that it’s not your fault. It’ll take time. So we’re going to bake something and talk about whatever you want to until you accept that it’s not your fault. We may bake a lot of things since this is gonna take a while, but I’ll be here until that day comes. I also really want to see you be happy right now. So teach me how to bake and I’ll teach you whatever you want in return.”

I was in awe. I didn’t know why he cared so much but I knew he was right. It was going to take some time and he clearly wanted to start now. I stood up and started walking to my kitchen. He followed behind me and stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking around the array of ingredients I pulled out. It was only flour, sugar, eggs, and butter but he already looked stressed. He let out a breath and pulled off his jacket as I reached to grab some mixing bowls and measuring cups. “So what do you want to bake?” I asked him so I could narrow down the necessary tools and ingredients. 

“A cake?” He shrugged his shoulders and I smiled at his seemingly nervous behavior. “Ask me. It makes it seem more official and I like hearing you ask to be taught something you don’t know.”  He smiled before rolling his shoulders back and dramatically clearing his throat. And so he asked, “Y/N, will you please teach me how to bake a cake?” and I did.

The week following our first “lesson” was only filled with constant interaction and more lessons. At first we only baked random sweets while dancing around to whatever song came on shuffle through my bluetooth speaker. We talked about our loves and passions and sometimes we touched on my mom and sister but Namjoon would never push me too far. I knew the feelings I was starting to harbor for him were more than platonic. It wasn’t just his looks or stupid jokes or smile at my even worse jokes. I was the little things. 

It was his caring heart. ‘Teach me to bake in a bakery.’ “So why do you add that if it’s not in the recipe?” he questioned me with a slight tilt of his head. “Because it’s the secret ingredient, Joon. And if I find out you tell anyone what it is I’ll burn down your coffee shop. Okay?” His eyebrows raised and his eyes widened before a boyish grin spread across his face. “Jeez, what’s with you and fire?” I tensed slightly but before I could feel any negative emotion, Namjoon lightly touched my arm and turned me to meet his pleading gaze. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like-” I cut him off with a flurry of giggles and my hunched over frame. “Why are you apologizing? I am really shit when it comes to fire safety.” I winked at him and saw him relax. With him around, it was okay. He cared.

It was his patience. ‘Teach me to make a beat’ “Ughhhh. Joon, I’m never going to get this right.” The throbbing in my fingertips and crease in my brow due to my frustration were evident. “Moonlight, it takes practice. And a good teacher always helps, hence why I’m here. You’re gonna get it, just try again.” He was seated next to me at his impressive studio desk trying to correctly position my randomly placed snare drum and bass sounds on the program in front of us. If it wasn’t his equipment I would have thrown it all at the wall ages ago. I sighed and sat up straighter in his desk chair before moving around some of the beats and trying again to make something that didnt sound like a middle school band warming up, or just a total cluster fuck of noises. Namjoon hummed along to the beat of the song I was “creating” and while it was incredibly off beat and by no means perfect, it was an incredible improvement. “See! I knew you could do it.” I smiled widely, matching his own. “How are you so optimistic and patient? You literally just sat through an hour of me butchering your presets with a smile the whole time.” He laughed before grabbing the instrument from my arms. “Because it’s you.”

It was determination. ‘Teach me to appreciate Shakespeare’ “Wait so Juliet is actually dead now? How did Romeo not even check to see if she was breathing?” Namjoon spoke confused. “She was in a tomb and looked pretty dead. All he knew is that his true love was dead and they were supposed to run away together.” I closed my copy of Romeo and Juliet and continued playing with his hair in my lap. “Huh. But why kill himself? And why would she do the same? Why couldn’t she just tell him her plan so that this wouldn’t have happened?” His hand gestured wildly in front of him and I looked down at his head that he had moved to my lap during the final act of the play with a smile. “That’s the tragedy of it all. They were so close to being together and running off on their own with no judgement.” Namjoon sat up at my answer and looked me in the eye as he spoke once more, “I guess you taught me how to appreciate Romeo and Juliet so congrats. But you still didn’t answer my other questions. Why would they see that the only option was death?” I looked away before answering. “I guess we all just want somebody to die for.”

It was his knowledge. ‘Teach me the best movies’ “Well we obviously have to watch The Godfather if you want to review the best movies of all time.” Namjoon had just come back to his living room with a bowl of popcorn as I settled into his couch with a fluffy blanket. “Well I’ve never seen it so I guess it wouldn’t be a review for me.” I spoke casually as Namjoon sat next to me under the blanket. He turned to me so fast I thought he might snap his neck. “You’ve never seen my favorite movie of all time? Okay we definitely need to start there.” I laughed as he pressed play. “I never watch movies. I just feel like I have more important things in life to spend my time on.” He looks offended as he processes my words. “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t just hear that.”

It was all these things about him and more. I was falling for Kim Namjoon more than I thought possible. I also finally learned his surname during a slightly embarrassing lesson of ‘Teach me your last name’. Currently we were still in our lesson about movies. Namjoon was insistent I was “educated” and no matter how hard I tried to watch the movie, I couldn’t concentrate. When I looked around all I saw was Namjoon. Namjoon’s apartment,Namjoon’s couch, Namjoon’s arm around my shoulders, Namjoon’s favorite movie playing, Namjoon’s blanket covering my body, Namjoon’s incredibly soft and cozy hoodie he let me wear, Namjoon. Thankfully my lack of concentration and stream of thoughts were broken by the man himself.

 About 10 minutes into the film, Namjoon asks a question I wasn’t expecting. “Wait so since you don’t watch movies, what did you have in the background during makeout sessions growing up?” He threw some popcorn in his mouth as I froze. He turned back to me at my lack of response. “Um, nothing?” I spoke timidly. “Wow, straight to the point, huh?” I shook my head and spoke the embarassing truth, “No I just, I’ve never been kissed. So there really wasn’t ever the chance to put something on.” I turned away from him, scared of him laughing in my face. Instead he just spoke “Bullshit. There’s no way nobody’s kissed you before.” I looked at his stupidly charming grin and said, “Well it’s not bullshit. And why are you so shocked?” He looked at me like I was stupid before stating “Because you’re beautiful.” He spoke the words like it was obvious. 

After a moment of silence, I turned my attention back to the movie playing but I couldn’t focus. I played with my fingers until Namjoon spoke softly “I can teach you, if you want” and I stopped moving completely. “But only if you’re okay with that” he blushes and hurriedly adds. I stopped his rambling though as I nodded my head with a quiet “okay”. I watched as his eyes widened. He fumbled for words a little before he moved impossibly closer and leaned in. He hesitated though and pulled away to my confusion. “You have to ask me. It’s our rule.” He says it almost playfully but the look in his eyes contradicts his playful smirk. I knew he wanted my full consent before doing anything.

 I let out a nervous laugh before uttering the words, “Teach me how to kiss.” And he does.

I dreamed of Namjoon and soft yet heated kisses that night. Waking up, I was confused to see the surroundings of his apartment lit by the soft glow of sunlight peeking through the curtains. I froze as I felt movement under my head. I was fully resting on top of Namjoon with my ear pressed to his chest and I smiled as I heard the beating of his heart. He suddenly  took in a deep breath and moved around a bit and I quickly shut my eyes, hoping to stay in this moment for as long as possible. I didn’t know how he felt about last night. Was he only teaching me as a friend? Did he feel even half of what I felt for him? 

His lips were soft as they pressed against mine and I hesitantly returned the kiss. His right hand came to cup my face softly as his head tilted slightly. I felt my heart pounding and the blood coursing through my body like electricity. I pulled away from him slowly, anxious for his next words. “Was that okay?” I spoke quietly and after a moment of silence I looked up to meet his eyes. He didn’t speak, instead he kissed me again with more emotions present than before. I placed my hands onto his chest before moving them to the nape of his neck. I played with the small curls there and felt him shiver in response. He was the one to pull away this time and he moved his hands to my hips before pulling me onto his lap. I was now straddling him and dazed at the sight of his flushed face and red lips. “You’re a natural, Y/N, and as much as I’m enjoying this I think I asked you what you played in the background when you made out with someone.”

My racing thoughts and fluttering heart came to an abrupt halt as I felt Namjoon lean down awkwardly to press his lips against the top of my head. I couldn’t help the wide grin that appeared as a result of his action. I opened one eye and turned to look up at him. He chuckled as he realized he had been caught. “Mornin’, Moonlight” He spoke in his gravely morning voice. I felt my cheeks start to ache slightly due to the size of my smile. “Good morning, Joon” I could only manage a whisper, too scared to shatter the blissful sight and moments of this morning. 

We stared at each other for a bit until the buzzing of Namjoon’s phone caught our attention. Jimin was calling him, however, he made no move to answer it until I pinched his side gently with a glare. “Not answering your best friend’s call is rude you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully before declining the call completely. “Yeah, well calling your best friend while he’s cuddling with a gorgeous girl this early is even worse.” He smirked at me and I sat up slowly while he groaned at the loss of warmth. I moved to straddle his lap and played with his soft hair while he looked up at me with a soft smile on his face. “Hey, what are you staring at, loser?” He shook his head softly and leaned into my hands in his hair.

“You.” He spoke softly with his eyes closed in bliss and a smile on his face and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning down and pressing my lips against his even if I had tried to. He smiled into the kiss before placing his hands onto my thighs and kissing me back. We moved together like a perfect symphony. A rolling wave on the ocean. Ink flowing against the page of a classic novel. I pulled away for air but stayed close to him as he moved his lips to my cheek and slowly kissed down to my neck and the sweet spot he had found the night before. 

“Namjoon” I sighed out as his lips worked against my neck sensually. I moved my hands to his hair and lightly tugged against the strands. He moaned against my neck and his teeth grazed a spot that had me shuddering and letting out a small whimper. He moved his head back up to face me. “Found it.” He stated cockily and I rolled my eyes before pressing my lips against his again, effectively wiping the smug smirk from his face. I felt his tongue brush against my lips and I decided to tease him before granting entrance. He grunted and bit my bottom lip lightly in frustration. I gasped at the sensation and he took the opportunity of my lips parting to explore the new territory.

“Joon, eventually we’re gonna have to go to work and open up for the day.” I spoke to rid my head of the memories of the night before. The groan he let out in response made the butterflies in my stomach appear. “Five more minutes” He muttered and I laughed before grabbing his phone on the coffee table to see how long we had before needing to leave before I gasped and my eyes widened. “Joon, get up. We’re so late, shit.” It was 10 AM and the shop should’ve been open two hours ago. He sat up slowly while squinting his eyes adorably. I shoved his phone into his hand and rushed off of him to head to my apartment for clean clothes. I heard a soft “Shit” as I closed the door behind me.

I bolted into my room and grabbed the first items I saw, which unknowingly included a baby pink, lace thong from Namjoon’s prank. I shoved my legs through my jean shorts and found some comfortable shoes before grabbing my keys and running out the door. Namjoon was already waiting by the elevator doors, tapping his foot impatiently. I let out a breathy laugh as I ran to meet him. He smiled at my presence before looking me up and down. He squinted slightly at the top of my head and laughed as the elevator doors opened. I patted my hair before feeling the slight knots left from not brushing it. As we moved down to the lobby I reached up to fix it as much as I could with my fingers before giving up and reaching for the hair tie around my wrist.

I lifted my arms up to gather all my hair into a messy ponytail and unbeknownst to me, my flowy top lifted up and revealed the baby pink  lace above the hem of my shorts. I heard Namjoon cough and clear his throat suddenly as my hands fell to my sides and the doors opened. “You okay, Joon?” I looked up to him and noticed a slight blush and flustered expression. He tightly smiled and nodded his head before grabbing my hand in his and guiding us out of our building. It was now my turn to blush at his sudden action and the feel of his hand in mine. 

We walked quickly so as to not be even more late to our own businesses. We approached the Hideout Cafe first and Namjoon reached into his back pocket for the keys to the shop. He kept his hand securely in mine as he tried to find the right key. He dropped the key ring onto the concrete before grumbling out some curses. I chuckled and leaned down in front of him to pick them up. I heard him choke out a gasp before I leaned back up to face him with a smile. He quickly took the keys from my hand and before I could think, he leaned down to kiss me before resting his forehead against mine and huskily whispering “I thought you threw out those fucking panties, babygirl.” He pulled back after kissing my cheek and he unlocked the shop before entering, leaving me hot and flustered on the sidewalk outside. 

The walk to my bakery after that was a blur. All I could sense was Namjoon. His whispers in my ear. His hand in mine. His shy smile full of dimples and crinkled eyes. His cologne surrounding me as I was in his arms. The taste of his kiss. The sight of his wink and smile as he walked into his shop. I barely realized I was inside the bakery until Mal called out for me.

“You okay, babe? You look pale.” I took in a deep breath before pushing her hands away from my face. “We need to talk. In the back. Now.” Her eyes widened and turned serious at my words. As I moved to the kitchen and started pacing, Mal moved to turn the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’ before bolting to the back. She stood with her hands on her hips and eyed me pacing frantically before stopping me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

“Y/N, all you need to tell me is his first initial and I’ll find him within the week and beat his as-” I cut her off by blurting out “Namjoon and I kissed.” Her eyes widened once again and her jaw dropped before she started smugly smiling. She squealed and pulled me into a tight hug as she rambled about venues and summer versus spring weddings and I looked down at my shoes at her words. “So how did it happen? How long have you two been a thing and why didn’t I know sooner?” I sighed and looked at the excitement covering her face. “We’re not a ‘thing’ and we probably never will be. We’ve been hanging out a lot more recently and teaching each other our favorite things and last night we kissed a lot and I was on his lap and then I woke up with him on his couch and fuck, Mal I’m so scared.”

“Woah, hey what’s wrong? Did you not want him to kiss you?” I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I really wanted him to kiss me. I really wanted to do it again. But I was really scared to admit it. I felt tears well up in my eyes and Mal pulled me into her arms and shushed my quiet sobs. “I really like him, Mal.” I whispered. She pulled back and brushed some hair out of my face before gently holding my face in her hands. “Then what’s so wrong about kissing the guy you like? He wouldn’t have done it if he wasn’t at least slightly interested in you too.” 

I closed my eyes and saw his sleepy smile and bright eyes. I opened them again and voiced my fears, “Because I’m not good enough. He deserves so much more than some broken girl who’s too scared to kiss him in public or even admit to him how she feels. I’m fucked up, Mal. He doesn’t deserve someone like me.” Mal squinted her eyes as I finished.

“Are you done? Good. Number one, you might need to brush your teeth after spewing that much bullshit. Number two, you’re completely right. He doesn’t deserve someone like you. A beautiful, strong, kind, funny, talented, amazing woman who I’m lucky enough to call my best friend. So what if you’re scared about PDA, you said it yourself that you guys aren't anything official so that’s completely understandable. And number three, you never have been and never will be broken. You’ve gone through so much and no one expects you to be one hundred percent healed or back to normal after that. You are worth so much. Okay?” We were both crying as I nodded. I was lucky to have her.

“You’ve been so happy recently and I honestly feel dumb that I didn’t realize why sooner. If he makes you happy then talk to him about this. Let yourself have something good because you deserve it.” I thanked her and held her tightly. “Oh and don’t think you’re off the hook. We are definitely going to talk in full detail about last night and all those times you’ve ‘hung out’ alone together.” I laughed and rolled my eyes before wiping under my eyes. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” 

I was cleaning up the shop after closing for the day when the bell above the door sounded. I groaned as I realized I hadn’t locked it yet and now had to deal with late night customers. “We’re closed.” I called from the back, too tired to go up front. “Aw damn. Even for your favorite customer?” A familiar voice spoke in faux disappointment and I felt the butterflies burst to life in my stomach. I smiled and walked up to the register, suddenly full of energy. 

“Bold of you to assume you’re my favorite.” I tilted my head and watched him smile as I appeared. “And to think, I was going to surprise you with a date and everything.” Namjoon shook his head and shrugged his shoulders before turning to leave. I laughed before running to grab his arm. “Well I guess I can make an exception for my favorite customer. But just for tonight.” He turned to me with a bright smile and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled away from him before he could though. He looked confused but brushed it off. 

“I need an order of your best creation.” I bit my lip and thought about what I would make before remembering the cupcakes I had made a few weeks ago. I had thankfully scribbled down the recipe and knew they would be relatively easy. “Only if I have some company while I make it.” I turned to walk into the kitchen and felt his presence behind me. I grabbed all the ingredients listed in my binder of recipes and got to work. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Namjoon picking up the binder and inspecting the page with my messy scrawl. 

“I asked for company so I had someone to talk to, not someone to snoop around and be nosy.” I smiled but never shifted my attention to him. He breathed out a laugh and moved to stand behind me. I felt his arms wrap loosely around my waist and his head rested on my shoulder. He sighed against my back and I leaned into him slightly. “Why doesn’t this one have a name? All the other pages have names at the top but this one just had question marks.” 

“I just came up with this on a whim. Didn’t really have any names in mind. I guess I just forgot to come back to it.” I spoke truthfully as I stirred the ingredients together to form a smooth batter. Namjoon hummed in response and I continued working with his arms around me. When I had to place the cupcakes into the oven I nudged his arm with my elbow and he groaned. “‘M comfy.” He mumbled and I laughed as I struggled to unravel his frame from mine. 

“Weren’t you the one who promised a surprise date?” I reminded him and saw his eyes instantly light back up as a blush slowly appeared on his cheeks. “Do you want that?” He questioned silently and scratched at the back of his neck. I closed the oven and turned to face him with furrowed brows. “Want what? A surprise? Cause that’s kinda why I’m baking these-” “I meant the date. Did you want it to be a date? Because if you don’t then that’s fine too.” He cut me off with nerves lacing his words. 

“Yeah. I would love that. Why did you think I would say no?” I questioned with a matching blush on my face. “Well you just, you kinda rejected me up front when I tried to kiss you so.” I looked down in embarrassment before taking Mal’s advice from earlier. “I was just scared.” I paused and looked up to meet his eyes before continuing, “I really like you, Joon. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up by kissing you if you didn’t feel the same.” I played with my fingers anxiously as I waited for his response. He smiled largely before finally breaking the silence. “You don’t have to be scared, Moonlight. Cause I really like you too.”

When I finished up the cupcakes we packed them up and walked hand in hand to our date. I was giddy as we swung our hands between our bodies. When we stopped in front of the Hideout I was confused. “Is this your surprise? Making me another coffee at 10 PM?” I questioned him but he didn’t respond. He unlocked the door and held it open for me. I narrowed my eyes at his smug smile and walked into the dark shop. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the shop and looked around in confusion.

“Joon, I appreciate the effort but I-” I stopped speaking as the shop was suddenly lit up by the few strands of fairy lights in the corner by the reading area. I gasped at the sight. Instead of shelves of books and pillows, there were large, comfy blankets covering the entire section with Namjoon standing at the entrance holding a laptop. “I know it’s not much but I just thought it would be cute or that you would like it cause I remembered how much you liked it over here last time.” I walked up to meet him at the entrance with a large smile on my face. He looked nervous again and I couldn’t understand why. 

“It’s perfect, Joon. Thank you.” I leaned in to punctuate my statement with a short kiss before pulling back the blanket behind him to crawl into the makeshift fort. He entered a few seconds after me and settled on my right side before opening his laptop. While the shelves of books were covered on the outside of the fort, the interior was filled with the sight of them. The soft glow of the string lights and comfort of the pillows and blankets set the perfect environment for reading and I darted my eyes across the different titles in awe. 

“You there, Moonlight?” Namjoon called out and I shifted my gaze onto him easily. I raised my eyebrows and turned to face him, not realizing he had been calling for me. “I asked what movie you wanted to watch.” I felt my face flush for the millionth time that night and bit my lip as I debated on what I should answer. “Could we maybe read something instead?” I spoke hesitantly but the grin on his face as he shut his laptop eased my fears. “Whatever you want.” I smiled and grabbed the familiar title on my left. 

“Have you read this before?” I asked softly. He shook his head but never lost the small grin on his lips or diverted his eyes from mine. “Well it’s a personal favorite of mine, so get ready to experience literary genius.” I moved to get more comfortable and ended up laying on Namjoon’s chest while his hands played with my hair. 

“Chapter one.”

“Are you even listening to the story?” I questioned accusingly. Namjoon smiled innocently despite being caught staring at the side of my face for the third time in the past ten minutes. Meeting up after closing had become a routine for the two of us. He would meet me at the bakery and ‘help’ me bake something for the night ahead. Usually we get to the Hideout and read after eating a bit and get through at least a chapter or two before he distracts me with kisses or tickles. Tonight, however, Namjoon was dead set on staring into the side of my face laying on his chest. “Of course I’m listening, Moonlight. Why’d you stop?” He smirked and I rolled my eyes with a sigh before continuing.

“As he looked into her eyes he saw nothing but pain and sorrow. The guilt he felt consumed him but he had no choice. He turned away as he heard her choke out a heart wrenching sob-” I was cut off by Namjoon kissing me for the fifth time that night. I giggled lightly against his lips but made sure to keep my spot in our book. “Joon, it’s been four days and we’re still only on chapter 10 of 45. As much as I love your kisses, we need to actually read the book in order to finish it.” He moved his lips to my left cheek and down my jawline as I spoke.

I lightly pushed his head away and playfully glared at him while he pouted. “But it’s so sad. Honestly, I don’t know why she keeps going back to him and shit when he only hurts her. Guilty or not, he’s still fucked for cheating on her like that.” He reached for a leftover cupcake in the box next to him while I grinned. He let out a low moan as he took a bite and I felt my body ignite with heat. “Fuck, these are always so amazing. I can’t believe you don’t sell them anymore.” He spoke with his mouth partially full and I rolled my eyes at his boyish behavior.

“I’ve told you a million times, I can’t sell something without a name.” He threw his head back with a groan and I laughed at his frustration. “Well let’s come up with something then. It’s better than reading about heartbreak.” I sat up from my spot on his chest and faced him fully. “It needs a catchy name, that’s for sure. It also needs to hint at the surprise inside.” He licked the stray frosting around his mouth as he spoke animatedly. I took in the appearance of the man in front of me. He was in some basic sweatpants and a hoodie since after night two we had decided it was best to change into more comfortable clothes to read after closing.

“The surprise inside?” I laughed, “What, do you mean the filling?” He rolled his eyes and waved his hand in dismissal. “You know what I mean. You’re just not expecting it but it's a good surprise for sure.” His explanation brought a memory to mind.  

Sitting innocently on top of my dresser was a little note with his messy scrawl reading ‘Gotcha ;)’ 

“Gotcha.” I spoke quietly with a smile, remembering the first prank he had pulled on me so long ago. “What?” He questioned innocently, taking another bite of the cupcake in his hand while his free one came to rest on my thigh. “Gotcha. That’s what I’m naming it.” He furrowed his brow in confusion and tilted his head slightly to the side. He was silent for a bit before looking at me with hope and excitement. “Why?” He asked with fake confusion, but the giddy smile forming on his face revealed his true intentions. I smiled and sighed loudly before looking away dramatically. “I guess because it reminds me of the time a loser stole all my underwear and left me a note saying that on top of my dresser.” He laughed loudly and I turned to look at the sight of his bright eyes crinkled at the sides and his prominent dimples. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He spoke softly with a look of fondness on his face. I flushed and looked down at the hand on my thigh that was rubbing soft circles. “Be my girlfriend.” I moved my head up so quickly I thought my neck would snap. “What?” I spoke in shock. “I don’t want someone else to be with you. And I really don’t want to be with anyone other than you. I know we’ve never really put an official label on anything but fuck it. So, will you?” He looked nervous but his eyes showed nothing but honesty.

“About damn time.” I spoke after releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. I was smiling widely but he didn’t mind as he moved his hand from my thigh to my waist. Our kisses turned heated as his tongue brushed across the seam of my lips urgently. I pulled back and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I think you were right about movies. They make great background noise for making out.” His breath hitched and I watched as he fumbled for his laptop. I giggled and straddled his lap as he furiously typed in his password for Netflix.

I lightly feathered kisses onto his jaw and down his neck. I felt the vibrations as he groaned at my actions. “Fuck, how have you only been kissed for the first time last week?” I let out a breathy laugh as I sat up from my slightly hunched form. “I think I got the basics down pretty quickly thanks to my teacher. But I think I’m ready to learn something else from them.”  His eyes darkened and before I knew it I was being rolled onto my back as the opening sounds from Avengers: Infinity War played in the background.

“Babygirl, I’ll teach you anything you want to know.” He smirked as he started moving down my body.

I was sure the smile on my face would become permanent after how long it had been painted on. We didn’t go all the way but we definitely made some progress on my lessons. I was laying on the blanketed floor with Namjoon resting on my chest. I was wearing his hoodie and my sleep shorts from earlier while he was left in his sweatpants and a bare chest. I was looking at the soft lights around me while my hand was playing with the messy curls tickling my chin. The sounds of the Avengers battling Thanos in Wakanda paired with Namjoon’s soft snores was lulling me to sleep slowly but surely. 

I knew we would both regret sleeping on the hard floor of the Hideout in the morning, but

at the moment I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, ready to fall asleep when a notification sounded from the laptop. I turned slightly to see what it was but suddenly felt all possibility of sleep and tiredness drain from my body. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but I had to try and make sense of what I saw.

GM<3: i miss you:(

I tried to calm myself before overreacting. It could be a relative or someone close to him. He just told me earlier how wrong cheating was. He wouldn’t do thi- Another notification sounded and effectively cut off my racing thoughts. I felt more confident in the situation as I looked at the incoming text but it’s contents only made me feel sick.

GM<3: when are you coming over again? 

GM<3: please say soon:( you left pretty quick the other night

GM<3: i love you, talk soon <3

I felt tears threatening to spill and was confused. I thought of every possible explanation but none of them were innocent or made any sense. I was hurt. I was angry. But mostly, I was numb. The thought I was dreading the most kept circling my mind. I didn’t want to believe it but it made too much sense.

You fell for the greatest prank of all. You believed he actually felt anything for you.

I felt hot tears fall down my face while one word played on a loop in my head. A heartbreaking lullaby played like a broken record.

Gotcha.

I was frozen. I didn’t move or sleep at all that night. My body ached from the hard floor and lack of movement but all I focused on was the heartache and racing thoughts that hadn’t seized through the night. The sun started to rise and I took it as my cue to leave and head to my shop. I carefully moved and tried to remove myself from Namjoon’s tight grip on my hips. I freed myself eventually and felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. I grabbed my clothes from the day before along with my other belongings and headed to the front door.

I placed my hand on the door handle and hesitated. Talk to him. “Let yourself have something good”. I turned to look at his frame under the dim glow of the rising sun and felt the lump in my throat grow. I forced myself to look away and walk out the door before I could change my mind. I made it to the front door of my shop before breaking down and crying. I told you so. 

I wiped my tears and stood up straight before unlocking the door and walking in, determined to bottle it up and not talk about it. The faster I avoided Kim Namjoon and everything involving him, the better. I silently worked throughout the day with a tight smile and locked my phone up in the storage area so I wouldn’t see any missed calls or texts. Mal could sense something was up but didn’t push me. 

As the clock moved closer to closing time I panicked. He was surely going to come by to walk us back to his shop. “Hey, Mal? I just remembered I have to head back to my place early tonight. Do you mind closing up for me?” I spoke with a shaky voice and Mal’s questioning glance almost broke my act. “Of course. Just take care of yourself.” She spoke sincerely and I let out a breath of relief at her words. I threw off my apron and grabbed my belongings again before heading home. Namjoon would probably try to get me to read the book with him but I couldn’t face him. I walked quickly past the Hideout and his apartment before collapsing into my bed. I made sure to lock my front door and bedroom door for extra precaution.

I screamed into my pillow as I sobbed. 

This routine went on for the next three days. I started leaving my phone at my apartment after it died. I didn’t have the energy to look at it or charge it to see the messages I had waiting for me. I opened my door at 5 AM to start my new routine of avoiding Namjoon. I was fearful that he might try to come into my shop during the day but so far he hadn’t. That fear came back like a crashing wave, however, as I heard a body fall onto the floor of my apartment when I opened the front door to leave. 

A tired looking Namjoon stood quickly and sighed in relief as he saw me. He reached out to hold my face as he spoke, “Fuck, Moonlight, I’m so glad you’re okay. You haven’t responded to my texts or been at the shop when I stopped by and I was so fucking worried.” He leaned in to kiss me and I pushed his hands off me. He looked confused at my actions but I looked away as anger and hurt filled me.

“Maybe that was for a reason.” I mumbled out as I crossed my shaking hands around my frame. “What? Moon, what’s wrong?” He reached for my hand again and I turned around to walk into my apartment. I heard the door close softly and his quiet footsteps following me. “Baby, you need to let me know-” I spun around at the pet name and pointed shakily at him. “No. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to hear about my life or what’s bothering me because it’s you. You’re the problem for me. You need to just stop. Stop kissing me and holding my hand and looking at me like I’m the only girl in your eyes and just making me feel like I’m actually worth something to you. Stop.” I was angry. The tears flowed freely down my face and my hand fell to my side as I finished my words.

Namjoon looked down and shook his head before looking back at me. “Moon, I don’t know what I did but all of that is never going to stop. I never want to stop kissing you or holding your hand or showing you how I really feel about you. You are the only girl in my eyes-” I cut him off with a scoff “Bullshit! How can you just lie like that. I saw the texts that night Namjoon. You fell asleep and when you did you got some texts from another girl. Congratulations, you win. Once again you’ve utterly broken me.”

“What texts? There is no other girl, I promise you. Please, I never meant to hurt you, especially like this.” He was starting to tear up and his voice broke as he finished but I stood my ground. “And I would’ve believed you if I hadn’t seen the texts for myself. I hope you and ‘GM’ are happy together because it seems like you two made it longer than a few hours since you’re already in love.” He scrunched his face up at my words. “Wait. Hold on. GM?” He breathed out a laugh as he spoke. His words cut me like a knife. 

“So you used me and cheated on me and can’t even try to act serious about it? Fuck you, Namjoon.” I moved to walk past him and into my bedroom but he grabbed my arm before I could. “Wait, Moon, no. My sister’s name is Geong Min. That’s who you saw text me that night. I’m telling you the truth, you’re the only girl for me.” He turned my body to face him as he spoke with a small smile. 

I furrowed my eyebrows at his confession. “You have a sister? Wait, why did she ask you to come over and say that you left quick the last time?” He smiled largely as he spoke. “I went to her place the night I set up the Hideout for us because I had to borrow her blankets and lights. And I also needed her advice on if the date was even a good idea.” I sighed and hugged him close to me. “I’m a fucking idiot, I’m so sorry, Joon.” 

He held me against him tightly and moved us side to side. “You’ve always been more than enough for me. You are worth so much to me and to everyone you come into contact with. I know it’s scary to have these feelings, because, Moon, I’m fucking terrified too. But I promise you that you’re all I want. I never want to hurt you and I never want to see us like that again. You’re more than worth it, Moon.” He pulled us slightly apart as he looked into my eyes for his final words and I felt tears welling up again as I smiled.

“You deserve better than someone who can’t love you back the way you need to be. I’ve never felt like this and I know it’s too soon to say I’m in love with you but I know for a fact that I’m falling.” I spoke softly. He smiled and leaned down to press his forehead against mine while I closed my eyes. “Ask me, Moonlight.” He whispered. “Ask me to teach you how to be loved.” He pressed his lips to my forehead then moved down to press a kiss to each cheek and the tip of my nose before pulling back to look in my eyes and wait for my answer.

He returned the smile that grew on my face and laughed as he leaned down to kiss me properly after I spoke softly,“Teach me how to be loved, Joon.” 

And he did.

[thiswasinevitableid]

52 or 41 for the meet ugly? sternclay, nsfw if thats chill

Here it is!

52. you think I’m leering at you in the gym but really I’m studying your form and trying to learn how to make mine better Sternclay NSFW

This is the toughest part of Joseph’s workout, so he could do without the audience.

He first noticed the guy during his turn at the squat rack; taller than him, in a grey t-shirt and black shorts that show he has muscle to spare, with brown eyes that were on Joseph’s ass whenever he looked away. Were Joseph not in the middle of the kettlebell burpees sequence, he might even spare a glance of his own to see how he fills out the front of his shorts, but he’s tired and he’s been dealing with behind the back stares all day.

When he’s done, he takes a final look over his shoulder to see the guy still staring at him. Joseph locks eyes, watches his face flood with guilt as he becomes very focused on his shoes. He continues studying them, as if holding still might keep Joseph from coming closer.

“Okay, I sense you’re new here, so I’ll be polite: everyone checks people out at the gym now and then. But the rule is you don’t do it so fucking brazenly the other person notices.”

“I, uh, I wasn’t-”

“I counted you staring ten separate times, even when your workout had you facing away from me.” He crosses his arms, annoyed that the man has the gall to deny his blatant ogling.

“I, uh, I was studying your form” the newcomer rubs his wrist, sheepish, “I’m kinda new to, like, formal workout stuff, and you clearly know your shit, so I was trying to use you to figure out how to do my circuit without fucking up my spine.”

Joseph rolls his eyes; that’s the first lie anyone tells when they get called out for staring.

“I’m serious!” The man has the audacity to look perturbed. Joseph has zero interest in an argument but every desire to call his bluff.

“Well, if that’s the case, if we cross paths again you’re welcome to join me and I can give you pointers.”

With that, he heads towards the locker rooms. He doesn’t feel eyes on him once the whole walk there.

---------------------------------------------

“Hey.”

Joseph looks up from setting his fitbit to see his not-so-subtle admirer beside him. The taller man smirks, “you didn’t think I’d take you up on it, did you?”

“No. But I’m not about to go back on my offer. Or modify my work out if you join me. Make your choice accordingly.”

“Okay. What’s first?” His smile is friendly, but there’s a challenge in it. Joseph, who's been bored the entire day, is more than ready to rise to it.

“Jump rope. Nine minutes total.”

They find a spare rope for the other man, but he keeps getting his right foot caught.

“Drop your elbows some, when they’re too high it’s easier for the rope to catch.”

“Oh, thanks.”

His new gym buddy is winded when they’re done, but follows him eagerly over to the mats for his core workout. He’s better at that, though Joseph still has to correct the position of his back the first time. They move through cardio, weights, and cool down with no conversation that isn’t directly related to body position or technique. By the end, the newcomer is soaked with sweat. And..smiling?

“That was fucking brutal. Can we do it again some time?”

If you, um, really want to?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Joseph smiles back, “I’m here every day after work. So you can come find me…”

“Barclay” the taller man fills in his unasked question.

“Joseph. Oh, and try to get some shoes with better traction soon. You’ll have an easier time.”

---------------------------------------------

“You okay there?” Barclay looks at Joseph from the treadmill on his left, “you seem kinda low energy today.”

“I ate too small a lunch.” He hits the stop button, walks as the belt slows, “I’ll be fine once I fish my power bar out of my glovebox on the way home.”

“Or you could, uh, you could come get dinner with me? There’s a great spot two blocks from here; it’s my favorite stop after you put me through my paces.”

Joseph thinks about downing a protein shake while wandering his empty apartment.

“That sounds great.”

Barclay leads him to a diner, all yellow lights and red pleather. His friend orders a stack of waffles and fried eggs (“I’m not a big fan of syrup”) while he opts for a french dip and, on Barclay’s recommendation, a chocolate malt. When the server asks if it’s one bill or two, Barclay pays for both of them.

“Least I can do in exchange for the free personal training you’re giving me.”

“It’s not like I mind” Joseph offers him access to his french fries, “I like working out with you. I’ve, um, never had a gym buddy before. UP agents are considered weirdos at work, I’m considered odd for one of them, and, well, you’ve done my workout; it intimidates some people.”

Barclay looks at him across the formica, beard still a bit mussed from drying it after his shower, “Yo--uh, I mean, it is pretty intimidating. But like, in a good way. The kind that makes you wanna push yourself.”

Joseph allows himself a flirtatious smile, “I’m glad you appreciate it.”

-----------------------

Barclay: gonna miss workout tomorrow. Got a date. Promise I’ll let you work me twice as hard on Friday.

J.S: Have fun. And you know I will, big guy.

Joseph slips his earbuds in; he’s gotten so used to their easy conversation that his best of the ‘00s playlist is jarring in it’s place. But he falls into his rhythm, is halfway through his workout when a tall, familiar shape in grey shorts hurries through the door and drops it’s water bottle next to his.

“Is everything okay?” He pops his headphones out as Barclay shakes his head.

“Date was a bust; guy was so pushy I bailed after one drink. Figured if I caught up with you the night wouldn’t totally suck.”

Joseph grabs a second mat, lays it out, “I can’t do dinner tonight; since I thought you were busy, tonight is for running errands.”

“No big.” Barclay lays next to him, their fingers brushing for a moment before Joseph counts them down.

As the evening ticks away in sets and reps, he gets increasingly worried about Barclay; his friend begs off both squats and rowing, and doesn’t join him for the ten minute cool-down jog on the treadmill. He hopes it’s just a side effect of having a beer before working out and not something more dire.

The locker room is empty on their side, and he finds Barclay leaning his forehead on the wall outside one of the shower cubicles, taking long, deliberate breaths. His shirt is off, but he’s still in his shorts. When he turns, startled by Joseph asking if he’s okay, it’s immediately obvious why.

“Sorry” Barclay is doing his best to conceal his hard-on, “this is hella embarrassing.”

“It happens” Joseph aims for a pleasant shrug even as his own cock starts acting up, “lots of friction and, um, and all that.”

“It’d be less humiliating if it was that. I, uh,” Barclay is redder than Joseph’s ever seen him, “I put a plug in before my date and, uh, I was in such a hurry to come find you once it ended that I, I didn’t take time to pull it out.”

He forces his voice to stay gentle, to not reveal the heat burbling up from his stomach, “You could have just asked me to wait a second once you got here.”

“Didn’t think of it until I sat down on the mat and realized how much I could feel the fucking thing. Like I, uh, I said, I kinda had a one track mind when I got here. I” his brown eyes are Bambi-wide when they skitter from Joseph’s gaze, “I wanted to see you.”

Shoes squeaking on the wet tile, Joseph nudges him into the stall, “Is that really it, big guy? You went through all that discomfort just for a few more seconds of being near me?”

“Uh huh” Barclay whimpers, his big, broad frame shaking when Joseph presses him against the wall.

“That’s sweet. Do you know what happens to sweet boys when they’re good?”

His friend shakes his head, hair catching across his eyes. Joseph tips his chin up, lips slightly parted in invitation. Barclay groans and drops his head down to meet him. It is, without a doubt, the messiest kiss of Joseph’s life, all sweat and odd angles like his first time in his boyfriend’s den in the July heat. The parallel is heightened by Barclay instantly grabbing his hips and humping him through his shorts.

“Joseph, babe, please, please say this is okay.” His hands tighten their hold when Joseph licks a stripe up his neck; it’s sweaty, sticky, the kind of thing he hates in porn but damn him if the doesn’t want to lick and suck Barclay until he can taste him in his sleep.

“No, it’s not.” Joseph cups his face to keep the panic he sees there at bay, “because if you cum like that, I won’t get to show you the rest of your reward.”

“Re-reward?” Barclay actually squeaks, and what can Joseph do at such a sound but kiss him once more.

“Shorts off, water on. I’ll be right back.”

Water obediently patters on the tiles as he shoves his hand deep into his gym bag; god bless emergency laundry quarters and bathroom vending machines.

He strips, joins Barclay in the shower and discovers his cock is even more pleasing than it’s outline suggested.

“Lord almighty, you’re gorgeous.” He lowers to his knees, traces the path of droplets through the hair on Barclays stomach and chest. Then he removes the first condom from its pack, rolls it down the thick cock that’s just tempting him to abandon his plan, then slips the second one on his finger.

“Fuck, this has gotta be a dream, right? Because it’s the same one I’ve jerked off to for fucking weeks.”

“No, big guy, it’s not.” Joseph reaches between Barclay legs, “oh shit, you’ve been wearing this all night?”

“AHnnnuhhuh” Barclay moans as Joseph toys with the base of the plug.

“And you still did a huge chunk of our workout. I’m impressed, big guy, impressed and very, very, very pleased.” He kisses his cock on each very, Barclay letting out an “uhn” at each one. As he slides the plug free he continues, “To think, your date was so unpleasant he missed out on not only your charm and your handsome face, but the fact you were prepared enough to prep for him.”

“His loss is my gain ohfuck, Joseph, baby, please-” Barclays cock bobs in the air as Joseph teases his ass. When he presses in Barclay gasps, Joseph praying the droplets hitting the walls lend any escaping sounds an air of plausible deniability.

“Nice and open. Good boy.” Joseph slowly works his finger in and out, building up to two almost immediately. He nuzzles Barclays cock, “do you always bottom?”

“M-most of the timeOH, god” His head lolls back when Joseph takes his cock into his mouth, sucking lazily as he fucks him open, “I like it, makes me feel taken care of.”

Joseph eases in a third finger, let’s his cock fall from his mouth as water collects in his eyelashes. Barclay is staring down at him, hair several shades darker as it plasters to his face and eyes hopeful.

“In that case” Joseph times his upstrokes to his thrusts, “how about you come to my place on Sunday? I’ve got a whole box of cocks to choose from; we could work our way through them.”

“Yes, ohfuckyesplease.”

“We could play around with positions too” He can see Barclay’s muscles flexing in new ways as he begins bucking his hips, chasing the tender pressure of Joseph’s fist, “I bet you look great on all fours, and I know what you look like with your ass in the air already. You in my lap, that could be fun--oh, ohshit” he laughs as Barclay nearly fucks himself off his fingers, “you like that, like the idea of sitting in my lap like the big, sweet boy you are while I fuck you, like the thought of cumming on my cock and then going to fetch the next one, of me not letting you stop until we’ve been thorough and found your favorite because that’s what you deserve-”

“Fuck!” Barclay moans, hands slipping on the tile as he floods the tip of the condom. Joseph adds “get tested” to his mental to-do list while the other man slides down the wall like a slasher victim until they’re face to face on the floor.

“You okay, big guy?”

“Can’t feel my legs.”

“That’s just the lunges talking.”

“Please” Barclay kisses his shoulder, “please let me suck your dick.”

Joseph smacks the handle until the water turns off, scrambles to his feet and clings to the “no-slip” bar as Barclay shoves his face between his legs. He sucks his cock, occasionally opening his mouth enough to licks his folds. He’s so eager, even tries fucking into him with his tongue, big hands groping his ass while Joseph stifles his moans in his forearm. He’s going to cum in the gym shower, he’s going to cum from his first blowjob in years, he’s coming to cum from the astounding, impossibly hot man below him who he intends to dom into next fucking week-

He cums hard, the hand not bracing him on the wall dropping down to stroke Barclays hair. After a moment, he tries to grab his towel from where he tossed it, Barclay smiling up at him.

“Hey, Joseph?”

“Yes? Hah, got you” He pulls the towel in.

“I was staring at your ass that first day. I mean, I was mostly looking at your form but there was for sure some ass appreciation.”

“I fucking knew it.” Joseph begins drying him off, “just for that you owe me dinner again.”

“Thought you had errands.”

“Shit. How do you feel about a romantic, pre-dinner Target run?”

“I’d love it.”

[hobbitsnapes]

the elf in the café chapter 3

A corpse husband story

(I do not own this photo, nor do I know where it originated from. All credit goes to the artist.)

Summary: Never in his life, did he think going to a cafe and meeting a Harry Potter nerd could change his life. (I’m shit at summaries)

A/N: H/N means his name, being that we don’t know what his actual name is currently.

Each day passes by, and neither couldn’t stop texting one another. They’d text at least once a day, whether it be how their day had been, or trying to plan a day to see one another again. Their sleeping schedule was quite similar, but with her waking up early each morning for class. But he’d still get texts from her in the middle of the night, how she managed to do her schoolwork on such little sleep was beyond him.

She chalked it up to having done this for so many years, that she grew used to staying up late at night only to wake early in the morning.

They had finally set a day for the date, the coming Saturday. Nerves wracked him each day it grew closer, but excitement filled him further. He hadn’t felt this excited to have someone over, honestly since David had come by. Since then, he’s had little to nobody come over. Let alone having a date come. Each day that grew closer, the happier he became to seeing her again.

Panic filled him as he scrambled to get the rest of the ingredients ready to throw in the pot. He had decided on trying to make menestra de verduras, a soup he remembered having as a child. He however completely forgot how difficult the dish was to make, when you had never made it and have little to no culinary skills.

A knock was heard at the door, causing him to drop the spoon he had in his hand, splattering sauce all over the floor. “Fuck!” He exclaimed, grabbing his apron and hastily taking it off, wiping away the mess. He ran over to the door, stopping and checking in the mirror to make sure he hadn’t got any on himself. Once he saw there was none, he ran to open the door.

She waited at the door of the apartment, slightly fidgeting with her jacket. She heard a muffled yell,her heart rate increasing.

She waited for about a minute,growing concerned she had red the text wrong and got the wrong apartment.

That was until the door was hastily opened, spotting him in the doorway. He had a smile on his face, his hair slightly pushed back out of his face. Her breath hitched when she saw him, taking notice of his attire. Black pants that were pulled over a dark grey dress shirt, with the sleeves cuffed to about his mid arm. It was a slightly fitted top, showing his toned torso and arms nicely. “Hi.” He chuckled out, sounding slightly out of breath.

He pulled her into a hug,inhaling his smell almost instantly. The smell of pine hitting her nose, making her smile. His warm arms envelope her so comfortably, masking the chill of the night air from her.

They pulled away slightly, arms still around one another. Their faces were close, berry feeling each other’s breathing fan across their faces. They both smiled, growing warmth in the face from the close proximity.

He let her inside, telling her to have a seat on his couch.

He ran back over to the kitchen, ready to chop up a few more of the vegetables. He kept stealing glances at her, his breath catching each time.

He knew from the second he saw her she was beautiful, but tonight, she was breathtaking.

A soft tan floral top was tucked into a black pleated skirt, that hit right above her knee. It sit right at her waist, giving her a very romantic vintage feel. Her legs were covered by flesh colored nylons, black ballet flats covered her feet. Her hair was slightly curled, framing her face perfectly. Her face looked almost bare, but her eyes sparkled as if she had gems in them. Her cheeks were dusted with a soft flush, with the rest of her skin glowing, as if she was being lit with candle light. The only truly noticeable makeup was her lips, painted in a soft, rose red color. Making them look like a freshly budded flower.

Panic sets in him as he rushes to cut the rest of the remaining vegetables, anxiety growing with the sound of the soup boiling. “Fuuckk.” He whispers to himself, seeing the soup burning. He scrambled to shut the burner off, trying his hardest to try and figure out how to salvage the dinner. He should’ve chose something easier, something that he wouldn’t fuck up and ruin the entire night. God why did he even bother trying to-“Hey what’s going on? Everything alright?” She asks, making his heart plummet into his chest. He feels her hand on his shoulder, knowing she can feel him shaking. “Uh-m. Yeah yeah it’s fine, I just kinda burnt the entire thing.” He stammers, giving up on trying to steady his voice. His hands tangle into his hair, pulling the long strands. He wishes he could just disappear, get away from the sheer embarrassment of the situation. “Here let me see.” She says, slightly moving beside him to look at the now ruined soup. Her face slightly falling, dread filling him. She looks up at him, no trace of anger or annoyance in her face. “Here, why don’t I make something tonight? Is that okay?” She asks, her voice smooth and calming. “Uh, sure. I’m so sorry.” “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, now, I have an idea of something I can whip up.” His heart slightly calms down at her words, no longer worrying about ruining the entire night. “Alright, I’m gonna need milk, flour, pees and some kind of fish. Salmon is best for this.” She says, walking over and opening some of the food cupboards. He runs to grab the supplies, knowing he has all of those.

In less than 30 minutes, dinner was plated and ready. He watched her in amazement as she whizzed around the room, effortlessly making the entire dinner like it was second nature. Not once did he see any panic, or rush in her. It’s like she had done this for forever, knowing exactly what to do so easily.

They both sat on the couch, pulling the table closer for them. He let out a small moan at the taste, a smile on his face as he ate. It was shockingly amazing, way better than the disaster he was gonna make for them both. “This is amazing.” He says, causing a smile on her face. “Thanks, it’s an old recipe that I’ve made countless times over the years.” She chuckled, watching as he eats smiling. “Where'd you learn it?” He asks. “It’s a really common recipe in New England, that’s actually where I’m from. I grew up primarily in both New Hampshire and Vermont.” “Wow, so then what made you come to San Diego?” He asks,watching as she let out a small sigh. “School mostly, and to get away from, some people.” He can hear the sadness in her voice, his heart panging slightly.

“That was so amazing, thank you.” He says, watching as she chuckles as she dried the bowls. “You’ve said that like 4 times tonight.” “And I’m gonna keep saying it cause it was amazing.” He laughs, causing her to throw her head back in laughter.

They both settle in on the couch, sitting beside one another. “Uh, I don’t really watch TV, so we’ve really only got my laptop to watch stuff. Is that okay?” He asks, looking over at her. “That’s perfectly fine cause I don’t watch TV either.” She laughs.

“Alright so I’ve got Netflix, Hulu, and prime. What’s something you’d like?” He asks, setting his laptop up in front of them. “Uh, are you into horror movies?” She asks. “I like them.” He chuckles. “Okay so do you wanna watch a classic, hack and slash, paranormal, or psychological?” Age asks, a smile on her face. “Whatever you like, I’m fine with anything you’d want.” He asks, a smirk on his face. He watched as she flushed, smiling at her. “Psychological it is then.”

“That was, what?” He asks, watching as the credits roll. They had gotten closer throughout the movie, no longer with a small bit of space between them like they started. Their legs and sides touched, facing the laptop. His arm later behind her, after a while of toying with the idea and barely moving his arm, he finally built up the courage and placed his hand over her shoulder, letting out a breath when she smiled and scooted closer to him. Letting him put his arm over her. Both of their faces flushed.

“Did you not like it?” She asks, looking up at him. “No i did, it just was kinda weird. What was the name of it again?” “The school. It’s one of my favorites because of how different it is. And you gotta remember, I’m in school to become a Behavioral psychologist. It’s in my nature to like these kinda movies.” “Hm, at least there’s one smart one here.” He chuckles, pulling her in closer. “You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.” She chuckles. “Oh yeah, how can you tell?” He asks, looking down at her. She looks at him with her eyebrows raised, a small smirk on her face. “Oh yeah.” He laughs, realization setting in. Causing both of them to laugh.

“So now, do you need a PHD to become a psychologist?” “In the state of California, yes. You also need 3,000 hours of supervised experience, 1,500 which can be pre-doctoral. I started college when I was 17, completing my bachelors when I was 20. Now I’ve only got about 5 more years until I’m finished with my PhD which is another word for a Doctorate.” “Well damn, miss smarty pants. Got everything don’t ya.” He says, making her look at him in question. “Got not only brains but beauty.” He says, making her flush and shove her head into his chest, causing him to laugh as he pulls her in further.

They both sat on the couch with another movie playing, neither one paying any attention to it. They both had opened a bottle of wine he had for some time, deciding to have a glass. He had it for years, always saying he’ll leave it for a special occasion. Well tonight seemed like the perfect night for it.

Neither were drunk or even tipsy, maybe a slight buzz. But it did help to wash away any small ounce of awkwardness between them. He slightly opened up more, cracking jokes with ease and making her laugh so hard she had to use the bathroom 3 times.

“And the movies over. I can’t even remember what it was.” He laughs, watching as the credits finish. “I honestly don’t even think we picked anything. I think we just clicked on it and used it for background noise.” She laughed. “Well then, what do you wanna do?” He asks, arms folded comfortably over himself, the same smirk planted on his face. “Well, there is something I love doing.” She says, a smile on her face.

Both laughed out loudly as they moved around the room, arms around one another as they tried keeping up with the song. They tried keeping in beat with the song playing in the beginning, but giving up halfway through.

He has been leading it for the most part, having loved dancing for years. But not doing it in years, and having a good buzz on him, made his moves a little worse than he remembered. But neither cared as they moved around the room, laughing as they sang along to the song. The song came to an end, both stoping with their movements momentarily. “Wait, I know the perfect one.” He says, running over to the laptop. He types in something, then runs down the hall out of the living room. She wondered if he’s lost his mind and ran off. That is until she hears the beginning of the song, letting out a laugh. “Just take those old records off the shelf!” He sings, sliding across the floor in his socks, making her clutch her stomach in laughter as he recreates the scene perfectly. Using a hairbrush as the makeshift microphone. He breaks after a few lines, falling over laughing. She runs over to him, bending down to see if he’s okay. She can’t help but fall over laughing with him, him pulling her in closer as they both wheeze out laughing on the floor.

“That was, oh my god.” He laughs, barely able to catch his breath from his laughter as they sit down. They danced for another hour, barely able to contain their laughter as tears fell down their faces. “God I haven’t had that much fun in, I can’t even remember.” She laughs, her head resting on his shoulder.

She lets out a small yawn, trying to cover it with her hand. “It’s getting pretty late.” He says, his voice hoarse due to laughter. “Yeah it is, but, there’s something I’ve been waiting for all week.” She says, making him look at her in question. Until he remembers, a smile breaking on his face. “Oh yeah I forgot, you still want me to say batman or snape lines.” He chuckles. She sits up, her eyes wide as she smiles. He can’t help but smile at the excitement on her face. “Alright fine. But you better feel lucky, I’ve had so many people ask me this and I’ve refused for forever.” “Well that’s not the only reason why I’m lucky.” She says, making him flush. “Alright, I’m guessing you want me to say the obvious one.” He says, making her nod her head in excitement. He lets out a small cough, taking in a breath. “I’m Batman.” He says in his most serious voice. Making both throw their heads back in laughter. “That was, that was perfect hun.” She laughs, her face falling in realization when she realized what she said. Her heart plummets to the bottom of her stomach. “Hey it’s okay, I kinda like it.” He chuckles.

“Okay what’s another one you want?” “Hm, how about your best snape you can.” She asks. He coughs again, reading his voice. “Mister Potter.” He says, trying his best to try and emulate the potion Professor. Making her laugh at his struggle to match the accent. “That one was really bad.” He chuckles. “No it wasn’t, tire doing such a good job.” She laughs. “You’ve got the perfect voice for both, although I do prefer your own voice over each of them.” She says, a flush to her face. “Oh yeah?” He asks, changing his voice slightly to have a more flirty tone. He watched as she flushed harder, trying to cover her face in her hands. “So you like when I talk like this?” He asks, the same tone but with a smirk on his face. He chuckles as she completely covers her face in her palms, shaking her head yes. “Then I’ve got one that you’ll really like. Come here.” He says, pulling her into his side. He looks down at her, watching as she removes her face from her hands. He has a smile on his face as he looks at her. “What up baby?” He says, making her slightly squeal out and bury her face in his chest. Making him laugh as she burrows her head into him. Wrapping his arms around her as he shakes from laughter.

“Tonight was amazing, thank you so much.” She says. Both of their arms around one another as they stand at the door.

It was extremely late at night, neither realizing how late it was until they checked the time. Neither wanted to leave, wishing they could stay in the small bubble they created that night. “Are you sure you can drive home? I can call a cab or an Uber-“ “I’m fine hun, it’s been hours and I only had a glass and a half of wine. I’ll make it home safely. Trust me, I’m really careful.” She says, a hand resting on his cheek. He can’t help but smile at her, wishing so bad to pull her back inside and having her stay. “Alright, text me or even call me when you can.” “I’ll call you when I get home okay? Now get some sleep, I can tell this past week it’s a habit of yours not to get much.” “How did you, oh wait I forgot again. Damnit.” He laughs, making her chuckle. “Yeah, can’t fool someone like me.” She teases. “Alright fine, but I’ll be waiting for that call before I even lay down.” He says, making her smile. He pulls her in for another hug, his heart beating out of his chest when he feels her soft lips press a kiss into the side of his jaw.

She pulls away with a smile, watching as his face flushes a deep red with a dumbfounded smile on his face. “Bye hun.” She says, walking away from the door, his eyes watching her until she’s out of sight. His fingers lightly touching the spot from her lips, pulling them back and seeing the small bit of red on his fingers. He runs over to his bathroom, looking in the mirror and seeing the mark of her lips on his jaw, a smile grows on his face.

He sits in his bed with his phone in his hands, checking the time every few seconds. Anxiety builds in him the longer the time goes by, only growing stronger the longer he waits. What if she didn’t make it back? Is she okay? Oh god he should’ve just asked her to stay, what if something hap-his thoughts were interrupted when his phone rings, her contact shining on the screen. Relief fills him as he answers the phone, a large breath leaving him. “Hey I’m sorry it took so long. It usually doesn’t take more than 20 minutes but there was a good amount of traffic in my way.” She says, he can hear her as she exits her car and walk up to her door. He can hear as she unlocks her door, hearing as she walks in. Her flats tap lightly against her hard floor, the sound comforting him. “Hey it’s alright, I’m just glad you made it home safely.” “You don’t have to worry about that, I’m a really, careful driver.” He lays his head down on his pillows, his eyes growing heavy. “Good, thank you for calling me. You really didn’t have to.” “But I wanted to, I knew that you’d be worrying if I made it back home safely.” He chuckles at this. “God you can really read me.” “Well I mean you do let me.” She chuckles, making him smile. “I guess I do.” He says, his voice lowering in volume due to his tiredness. “Why don’t you sleep? I can hear how tired you are.” She says, her voice calming hun further. “Alright, I’ll get some sleep. Thank you again.” “It’s no problem hun, why don’t you call me when you’re up okay? I don’t have classes tomorrow.” “Alright, I’ll call you in the morning, I hope you had a good night tonight.” He says, hearing her chuckle. “I did, have a good night hun, sweet dreams.”

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 7 (Bucky Barnes au)

“You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches”

"Steve told me about what happened. Are you okay?"

"Sure. Don't worry, Bruce," you said as you looked through the microscope. "We have work to do."

"This doesn't mean we can't talk about it if you need to."

You watched him mixing chemicals with hesitant hands. "This should work, by the way. I think I found the right..."

"What? The right what?"

"Shit," he muttered as foam started forming at the surface of the liquid. "We need to leave. Now, Y/n!"

Bruce ran towards you and dragged you out of the lab, closing the fire door. You were still right in front of it when the explosion went off, deafening you for a few seconds. You looked around you, wondering why no one else was freaking out about the lab blowing up.

"Y/n, hey, it's fine."

You looked around you. You were hearing Bruce again, but where was he? You pulled your hair, tears running down your face and your heart beating out of your chest. Everything seemed blurry and dangerous. Why wasn't anyone scared?

"I'll go get someone." That wasn't Bruce. Who? All you knew was it was a woman's voice.

You fell to your knees : why didn't they hurt?

"It's okay, I'm here. Breathe." You knew this voice. Of course you did. Why weren't you able to see whoever had spoken? Your vision was less blurry than before, but still... You couldn't think straight.

"Here. Do you feel my hands?"

A pressure on both your shoulders encouraged you to nod. You did feel hands on your shoulders. Looking up, you recognised his long dark hair, then the two blue orbs staring at you.

"Breathe in, slowly. You got this."

"Wh- what's happening?"

"Nothing bad. Just breathe. I got you."

Your feet left the ground as Bucky carried you somewhere. Your breathing was fast, just like his pace. You laid your hand on his chest, instantly feeling his heartbeat under your palm. It was so much slower than yours. You closed your eyes, shifting all your focus on this single heartbeat, doing your best to forget about yours.

"Okay, I'm sitting you down right now. You can open your eyes, it's fine."

You couldn't let go of him. You must've been grabbing his shirt really hard, because he decided to sit down next to you and keep holding you. When you opened your eyes again, you were surrounded by billions of stars. The familiar room soothed you, and so did Bucky's presence at your side. Your breathing calmed down progressively.

"Thank you," you whispered. "What happened? The lab exploded and...nobody cared. Is everyone okay? Did Bruce get out?"

"It was a minor lab malfunction. It was a minor explosion. No one got hurt."

"Minor? No, it was...it was so loud." Unwelcome memories were flashing before your eyes and you shook your head to drive them away. "It was like Sokovia all over again."

"Oh, alright... Look at me." You tilted your head up and met with his blue eyes. "You had a panic attack. It made you feel everything stronger. That happens, okay?"

"Does it? Do you have those to?"

He nodded with a sigh. "They're normal. After what you went through..."

"What gave you yours?" You bit your cheek. "Sorry. I just...when whatever this was happened, I saw them again. My parents. The bomb making our rooftop fall over their bodies. It was..."

"Hey, I'm here now." Bucky hugged you tighter and you gave in to the embrace. Damn, being close to him made you forget about everything else. "I have those in the middle of the night, sometimes. Whether it's because I remember something H.Y.D.R.A made me do or a nightmare waking me up, they're always like what you went through here. Thing is, you don't have to go through those alone."

You hesitated before taking his hand.

"H.Y.D.R.A.? As in...the ones that did those things to Wanda and Pietro?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know they'd done those things to you too. I'm sorry."

Bucky gave you a weak smile before looking down at your joined hands.

"They're the one who gave me the arm. I mean, not this one, but...that's them. The super soldier serum, too."

"I'm guessing they didn't make you fight the Nazis..."

"I fought for them." He looked away, letting go of your hand. You furrowed your brows and grabbed it back.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," you said. "But you're back now. Alive."

"At what cost, though?"

"We wouldn't have met." You blushed instantly after saying that sentence. "I mean..."

"No, you're right." He looked back at you as he leaned his head against the wall behind you. "Sometimes I just feel like I can't get rid of what's left of them. I can't be the old me again."

You waited before saying anything back, putting some orders in your thoughts. "I never knew the old you. But I like who you are now."

Bucky paused for a moment, scrutinising your face as if searching for a lie. "I still feel, look too much like...like him. The arm was a first change, but..."

"It's not that easy. I get it. Just...know that's okay, too. It takes time to heal."

--- Two days later

"Look who's up, if that isn't the birthday girl!" Sam exclaimed as he handed you a cup of coffee. You'd just walked into the kitchen and you already had a smile on your face. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks, dude."

"And look who woke up hours ago? Damn, y'all have messed up sleep schedules."

"Shut up, Sam," you and Bucky said in unison, causing you both to laugh a little.

You hadn't heard from Darren in two days, but you weren't feeling that down about it anymore. You'd been getting to know Bucky more and seeing him laugh along with you and Sam as the sun rays hit his profile felt like home.

"Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks, Bucky." You smiled to him but looked away pretty fast – this might or might not have anything to do with Sam looking at you with a grin.

"Anyway," he says, "I hope you're not busy working with Banner today because-"

Your phones buzzed, and the three of you read the name of the expeditor. You hesitated before you grabbed your phone and read the text Darren had sent you.

"Got plans for your birthday?"

"It's not what I wished he'd said...but it's a start, I guess." You let out a sigh, pondering what to respond with.

"Before that husband of yours interrupted me, I was actually telling you about your plans for the day, lady."

"Really? And what are those plans exactly, bird guy?"

"First, don't call me that or else I cancel the stripper Nat hired for you."

"The what?" You almost spat out your coffee, triggering Sam's laugh and bringing an amused smile to Bucky's face.

"I'm kidding, Y/n. We did plan a party, but no stripper. Sorry."

"You'll be the death of me. But thank you for doing that for me." You shook  your head as you end up laughing along. Your mood darkened a bit when you read the text again. "Should I tell him to come?"

"If you want to." Sam shrugged. "Just remember how he talked to you the other day, and don't be too nice with him, alright?"

"What about this : I do, actually. It's up to you to show up tonight at the compound, if you really want to be there or not." Bucky tilted his head to the side before he nodded. "Okay, sent. Now what can I help with, for tonight?"

"Nothing! Bucky's picking up the cake last minute tonight, and Scott and I are in charge of the playlist."

"Then I'm sure it'll be a sick playlist. In a good way, of course."

"You like his music taste?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Stop bickering, the two of you. And as a matter of fact, yes!" You chuckled  at the thought of tonight's party. "Who will be there, by the way?"

"Pretty much everyone. Nat's coming back from D.C. for the occasion and Tony and Pepper said they'd come too. I think Sharon said she'd be there, and..."

"Ooooh, that'll make Steve happy," you chimed in.

"Don't say that in front of him. They kissed once and he's not even allowing us to tease him about it."

"He's no fun," you complained.

"I heard that!" Steve shouted from the other room.

"Go see elsewhere if we care, old man!" Sam laughed at your comeback, and you heard Steve chuckle as well.

Damn, your birthday was off to a good start. You could only hope that feeling would last.

-- I KNOW it's getting long, but bear with me and I promise you won't regret where these two will take you! I'm starting to think this will be 15 parts long max. Might be shorter too. Let me know what you thought about this part!

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