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Patton Sanders Sides' Head-canons
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Patton loves whenever the other sides play with his hair! When Virgil is ever feeling a little antsy he would let him make small messy braids🥰
Add on to the first- After he would leave the braids in, wanting to cherish the master piece a bit longer
When patton puts an object down he tends to give it a gentle pat
One of Patton's love languages is touch, one day the other sides started noticing the small touches he does. Poke on a cheek, shoulder nudges, and fixing a wild hair strand
Whenever, Roman or Remus needed to practice their makeup skills they knew they could rely on Patton to be such a good sport. Even if it ended with some horrific creations especially from Remus😭 (But anything for those Kiddos)
During Janus' more stressed filled nights, Patton would drag him to the living (Luring him in with his favorite wine, making Hot chocolate for himself) then throwing on a Disney film.
#patton sanders#sanders sides#sanders sides headcanon#sympathetic dark sides#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus#roman sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders
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Soooo... guess who got really nostolgic while having a cold and binge-watched all of Sanders Sides again after almost a year?
For the last few days I have been sucked down a rabbit-hole of Fandercontent, and let me just say... while this fandom is so creative, there are just a few things I wish people utilized more in fics, you know?
(Disclaimer, I live on angst and the Dark Sides are my three favourite characters, so most of these are about both of those subjects. Also not a huge fan of non-mindscape au's, so these are all about canon-adjacent fanfiction. My only AU is Sympathetic Dark Sides where they all coexist. Yes, even Remus.)
First and foremost, and this is what inspired this post until I found more things after, why do I see so few fics that include Virgil's Dark Side Voice™? It happens whenever he get's too stressed in canon, and from how he reacts whenever it happens, it seems to be a bit of an insecurity for him. Why aren't angst authors jumping on that?
Guys. We... we all saw the end-card of Flirt or Flight, right? How come so few do anything regarding Virgil's colour-changing eyeshadow? It's adorable, it's gorgeous, talk about it, please!
When Janus takes off the gloves in order to show himself to be truthful about his name... why??? He did that for a reason. If it was just about the typical "Cross my heart" pose, there was nothing stopping him from leaving on the gloves unless their was a reason to take them off! Theorize, go nuts! (I personally believe that his scales fluctuate in their coverage of his skin, and his hands being completely human shows that he's being honest. He wears gloves to make his lies less obvious.)
And on the subject of Janus' lies, has anybody else realized that for the embodiment of Thomas' Deceitfulness... he's actually kind of a terrible liar? While disguised as other sides, he always drops some pretty obvious hints that he's not the real Patton or Logan. And whenever he does his whole "speaking in lies" thing, he has this tone about him that makes it clear to... almost everyone, (Cough cough except Roman apparently), that he's lying, or atleast just being sarcastic?
In the Five Year Anniversary special, Virgil, Remus, and Janus refer to themselves as the Cousin, Uncle, and Aunt respectively. And I know that there actually is a fair amount of content about the Dark Sides being a seperate but related family, but I just feel like not many people talk about the low-key confirmation of that as a reality, ya know?
More.👏 Protective.👏 Dark Sides.👏 They've known eachother for so long, no matter how close the whole family is, Virgil, Remus and Janus would naturally know eachother better than any of the others.
If we are to assume that Janus even just unstably co-exists with the Light Sides, (like pre-redemption Virgil), post-Redux, but Remus doesn't... Well, that's the third person that Remus actually has a connection to that just... left him. First Roman, then Virgil, now Janus. (I personally believe that the Orange side will just be an Unsympathetic Dick, so he doesn't count, but that's just me.)
I am a "Former Paranoia Virgil" Truther, as are many others in the fandom. However, something I wish I saw more of is others not catching themselves when calling Virgil paranoid. Even better, the Dark Sides not realising how much thinking of that part of his past affects him, thinking nothing of it and then feeling really guilty.
And that's all the canon-supported stuff, but just... one last thing. Consider the following:
The Orange Side is a relatively new "Relevant" or "Consious" Side, his existance only needed when suddenly there were only two Dark Sides and still three Light Sides
Janus is Patton's foil because he represents an "immoral" side to Thomas, and Remus is Roman's foil as a flip-side to one, single concept. Virgil used to be Logan's foil before his redemption, because senseless overthinking and paranoia defies logic.
This need for a foil doesn't apply to Virgil, because he is no longer a Dark Side, but he isn't really a Light Side either. A Grey Side, if you will.
Virgil encompasses both the good and bad aspects of Anxiety, and is even capable of representing more of an excitement or sense of anticipation, hence the purple eyeshadow seen in Fight or Flirt. He is his own foil in the same way that Roman and Remus are eachother's. They're the good and bad of creativity, Virgil is the good and bad of anxiety.
I am most likely not the first person to come up with this, but this is just my specific take.
Anyway, I am probably going to go write atleast half of these prompts myself, so if any of these concepts interest you... maybe stick around?
#sanders sides#dark sides#fanfic ideas#virgil sanders#janus sanders#remus sanders#idk just a thought#fine ill do it myself#sympathetic remus#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic dark sides
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Crime Show Meme - CSI insp [3/5 characters]
"Do you believe in past lives? No, ma'am. How come?. Because I'm just trying to make it through this one." - Nick Stokes (portrayed by George Eads, 2000 - 2015)
#csi#crime show meme#cinnacrimeshowmeme#mine: crime show meme#greg sanders#catherine willows#sara sidle#gil grissom#nick stokes#warrick brown#own post#csi 1x01#csi 10x08#csi 13x05#csi 4x07#csi 8x02#csi 11x05#csi 5x25#csi 15x18#csi 2x03#I love this set so much I feel like it conveys “Nick” perfectly youve got some of his dark moments as well as his lighter side#I truly love nick shoutout to a 2000s show for creating a male charatcer who looks so “stereotypically masculine” and have him so empatheti#and emotional and caring and soft and never ever in 15 years changing like sure he gets tougher but he never becomes stoic or emotionless#like in season 2 with the stalker when he says this isnt the first time ive had a gun in my face but you can tell it still scares him#and i just watched the season 4 episode where he tells grissom that being caring and sympathetic to the victims and families is just his wa#of doing the job and he wont change just for a promotion and he does not change 🥺#I love Nick Stokes thank you for coming to my TedTalk ❤️#csi 6x21#crime show meme: CSI
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I usually couldn't care less about fandom ocs but I actually love fanfics where there's like dozens of dark sides
#there's this huge chaotic group of sides that thomas has no clue about#pretty much of the fics I've read with this concept make them evil or abusive#I'm gonna bring up a new idea#what if there's loads of dark sides but they're all neutral or sympathetic#the ones i usually see pop up the most in fics are ones like jealousy and malice and lust and all that#what if they were all there but all just chaotic dorks#or course some are meaner than others but none of them are actually evil#sanders sides
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This is for one of the unfortunates among us who watched IPKKND 3 in its entirety
IS THERE ACTUALLY ACTUALLY a scene where Advay gifts Chandini bangles and then sets them on fire while she is wearing them? Like he literally set her on fire and watched with dead eyes enjoying it while her hands are literally on fire?
I just watched a reel of this in the wild (Instagram where else) set to romantic music and I don't remember this scene from my original watch of the show (surely would remember a scene of this almost hilarious level of psychoness??? have i buried the trauma??)
anyway hilarious that they ended up with a happily ever after romantic soft ending. wattpad could never.
(actually wattpad can and does churn out more horrifyingly bad quality abuse to romance stories every day but you know, IPKKND 3 came first!)
#ipkknd 3#ipkknd#please someone confirm it was a dream sequence??? someone???#anyway the POTENTIAL of this show to be a deeply fucked up emotionally damaged present psycho x emotionally damaged future psycho romance#they should have stayed with advay as the sympathetic villain like sympathetic but villain nonetheless#and chandni as the just TERRIBLY screwed up masochist depressed anti heroine with her own deep dark side that responds to his darkness#THAT WAS SUCH A VIBE WHEN THEY HIT THAT FOR A MOMENT#making it a straight up romance ruined it!!!
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its thinking about reverse!sides hours
#sanders sides#yknow the ones where the light sides become dark sides and vise versa?#ye#im. always thinking about reverse logan#at all times#or any variation of dark side logan#he takes up 90% of my thoughts#also. darkside!patton. yeah im a little bit obsessed w/ that rn#which is funny because on one hand#im such a big fan of sympathetic logan that i want him to be mean and tell the others just how much they hurt him#and on the OTHER hand#im a big fan of UNSYMP patton being manipulative and sly#and somehow that manifests in me liking both of them as dark sides#so thats fun#and! im also thinking about reverse janus#just. so much mom energy
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Sobbing because my two favorites (Moceit and Intruality) both got negative reviews D:
@morose-maximoff’s opinions on the various TSS pairings now that she’s watched the entire series (her previous opinion was pro Anxceit, Analogical is ok, and everything else sucks)
(Most of her Remus ship opinions seemed to center around the concept that Remus was kidnapping the others to be in a relationship with him lol)
Bonus polyamders
Just Remus and his four weed smorking girlfriends. And that ugly ho, Roman
#/hj#everyone has their own opinions#I’m just all for a little fluffball of a man and the ‘bad guys’#bad guys in quotations because I am all for a sympathetic dark side
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Principles and Laws of Magic for Fantasy Writers
Fundamental Laws
1. Law of Conservation of Magic- Magic cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed.
3. Law of Equivalent Exchange- To gain something, an equal value must be given.
5. Law of Magical Exhaustion- Using magic drains the user’s energy or life force.
Interaction and Interference
4. Law of Magical Interference- Magic can interfere with other magical effects.
6. Law of Magical Contamination- Magic can have unintended side effects.
8. Law of Magical Inertia- Magical effects continue until stopped by an equal or greater force.
Resonance and Conditions
7. Law of Magical Resonance- Magic resonates with certain materials, places, or times.
9. Law of Magical Secrecy- Magic must be kept secret from the non-magical world.
11. Law of Magical Hierarchy- Different types of magic have different levels of power and difficulty.
Balance and Consequences
10. Law of Magical Balance- Every positive magical effect has a negative consequence.
12. Law of Magical Limitation- Magic has limits and cannot solve every problem.
14. Law of Magical Rebound- Misused magic can backfire on the user.
Special Conditions
13. Law of Magical Conduits- Certain objects or beings can channel magic more effectively.
15. Law of Magical Cycles- Magic may be stronger or weaker depending on cycles (e.g., lunar phases).
17. Law of Magical Awareness- Some beings are more attuned to magic and can sense its presence.
Ethical and Moral Laws
16. Law of Magical Ethics- Magic should be used responsibly and ethically.
18. Law of Magical Consent- Magic should not be used on others without their consent.
20. Law of Magical Oaths- Magical promises or oaths are binding and have severe consequences if broken.
Advanced and Rare Laws
19. Law of Magical Evolution- Magic can evolve and change over time.
20. Law of Magical Singularities- Unique, one-of-a-kind magical phenomena exist and are unpredictable.
Unique and Imaginative Magical Laws
- Law of Temporal Magic- Magic can manipulate time, but with severe consequences. Altering the past can create paradoxes, and using time magic ages the caster rapidly.
- Law of Emotional Resonance- Magic is amplified or diminished by the caster’s emotions. Strong emotions like love or anger can make spells more powerful but harder to control.
- Law of Elemental Harmony- Magic is tied to natural elements (fire, water, earth, air). Using one element excessively can disrupt the balance and cause natural disasters.
- Law of Dream Magic- Magic can be accessed through dreams. Dreamwalkers can enter others’ dreams, but they risk getting trapped in the dream world.
- Law of Ancestral Magic- Magic is inherited through bloodlines. The strength and type of magic depend on the caster’s ancestry, and ancient family feuds can influence magical abilities.
- Law of Symbiotic Magic- Magic requires a symbiotic relationship with magical creatures. The caster and creature share power, but harming one affects the other.
- Law of Forgotten Magic- Ancient spells and rituals are lost to time. Discovering and using forgotten magic can yield great power but also unknown dangers.
- Law of Magical Echoes- Spells leave behind echoes that can be sensed or traced. Powerful spells create stronger echoes that linger longer.
- Law of Arcane Geometry- Magic follows geometric patterns. Spells must be cast within specific shapes or alignments to work correctly.
- Law of Celestial Magic- Magic is influenced by celestial bodies. Spells are stronger during certain astronomical events like eclipses or planetary alignments.
- Law of Sentient Magic- Magic has a will of its own. It can choose to aid or hinder the caster based on its own mysterious motives.
- Law of Shadow Magic- Magic can manipulate shadows and darkness. Shadowcasters can travel through shadows but are vulnerable to light.
- Law of Sympathetic Magic- Magic works through connections. A spell cast on a representation of a person (like a doll or portrait) affects the actual person.
- Law of Magical Artifacts- Certain objects hold immense magical power. These artifacts can only be used by those deemed worthy or who possess specific traits.
- Law of Arcane Paradoxes- Some spells create paradoxes that defy logic. These paradoxes can have unpredictable and often dangerous outcomes.
- Law of Elemental Fusion- Combining different elemental magics creates new, hybrid spells with unique properties and effects.
- Law of Ethereal Magic- Magic can interact with the spirit world. Ethereal mages can communicate with spirits, but prolonged contact can blur the line between life and death.
- Law of Arcane Symbiosis- Magic can bond with technology, creating magical machines or enchanted devices with extraordinary capabilities.
- Law of Dimensional Magic- Magic can open portals to other dimensions. Dimensional travelers can explore alternate realities but risk getting lost or encountering hostile beings.
- Law of Arcane Sacrifice- Powerful spells require a sacrifice, such as a cherished memory, a personal item, or even a part of the caster’s soul.
#writer#writing#writer things#writerblr#writerscorner#writing inspiration#writing tips#author#writers and poets#ao3 writer#writeblr#fantasy writer#sci fi and fantasy#writing inspo#writing resources#dnd campaign#dnd character#character development#original character#amwriting#writers community#writer stuff#writing blog#writers block#writerscommunity#worldbuilding#world building#fantasy series
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𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
You begin to have intimate dreams about your roommate, Spencer. [9k]
c: pining roommates, dreams, tipsy non-confessions, spencer being a sweetheart. fem!reader. this fic was requested!
。𖦹°‧⭑.
i. a dreamt bruise
“What are you doing?”
Your chest lists slightly forward as a body warms your back. Arms wrap around you, solid but gentle, arms you’ve been held by a thousand times.
You cover them with one of your own. “What does it look like I’m doing?” you feel yourself ask.
The room is golden, gaussian, better now he’s behind you.
“I don’t know, dove. That’s why I asked.” His voice is soft in your ear. His hair presses to the side of your face as he hugs you —you’ve never felt love like this. It’s palpable. It’s in his hands.
Nobody’s called you dove before, but he is, he has. It might feel strange if it weren’t for how softly he said it, affection in the very marrow of the word, warmth of it kissing your cheek as he holds you. He says ‘dove’, and it feels like he loves you. Feels like you’ve done something beautiful to earn it, but that’s the beauty of it: you didn’t do anything.
The room turns narrow, sunlight on the dining room table of your apartment. A table usually crowded thickly with books, or your work. A space has been cleared away and filled with pieces of a jigsaw.
“I thought you were going to do this with me,” you say, dragging a piece across the table with your fingertip.
“Maybe later.”
“You can’t stand there all night.”
Are you sure? you think he says, but things are hazy, and he’s turning you toward him suddenly, you’re standing, the puzzle forgotten. “How’s your bruise?”
“What?” you ask, almost sleeping as a big, kind hand drags up the front of your shirt, holding it to the underside of your breast.
“Does it still hurt?”
His thumb brushes over your contusion, skin on your side, your back. It’s tender. Any breath is lost, any sense of breathing at all. You’re not a girl so much as something being touched with care, warm joy and love and a contrasting ache wedged under your heart as he draws a circles into your skin.
He hums sympathetically, the weight of him ebbing as he leans away, letting your shirt fall back into place.
The dream stretches on for a lifetime, the two of you standing in your living room, dining table behind you, couch and TV opposite. Your life in one room, his life, his books, his furniture, but your home. You know it all well, just, in the light, you can’t see the stitching.
He takes your face into his hand. Nobody’s ever touched you like, turned your face up like they were moving through honey, staring at you with eyes that shade of brown. Brown, brown… so big. So melting.
Spencer holds your face gently.
His nose touches yours. He tips his forehead into yours, his breath skimming lips he’d just warmed as he says, “Don’t worry, alright? You’ll be okay. Just take it easy,” he says, the last of his pleading lost to your mouth.
You wake up with a caught breath.
Your eyes are glued together, eyelashes threaded, gummy. You turn into the pillow beside you, slightly deflated and cold where you’d turned away in the night.
The room is dark when you manage to pry your eyes open. You close them just as quickly, begging your body to sleep, to plunge back into the dream. Just five more minutes of golden colour, hugging your pillow, love in somebody’s hand, in Spencer’s hand… five more minutes…
Your eyes open again.
Spencer’s hand on your cheek, guiding you carefully upwards for a kiss.
You raise your hand, feeling along the swell of your bottom lip with your thumb and index finger. They tremble with the weakness of having just woken up. With having something torn away from you.
What was that? you think, the hook of sleep lodged in your throat as you struggle to sit up. Your face tips forwards heavily, but your back doesn’t hurt like it tends to in the early mornings before work. There’s no ache there —your body slept well. You use your hands as anchors and drag yourself foot first from the bed. Your sheets fall to the floor with a quiet shush.
It felt so real that for a moment you’re wondering where Spencer went.
He was touching you, he was caressing your waist. You rush to the door of your room, every night left ajar, pushing it open and beelining for the bathroom. You flick on the light and stop in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, wondering if you’re foolish enough to do this, before peeling your shirt from your stomach to analyse your bruise.
It’s not there.
You turn and contort yourself to catch the light. Maybe it was further back? But no… there’s no bruise, nothing for Spencer to check. Your torso is a stretch of unharmed skin to run your hand down without pain.
Your head whirs.
From somewhere in the apartment, Spencer puts down a mug. You flush with heat at the realisation that he’s home, and panic flares when his footsteps move in your direction. Your bedrooms are on opposite sides of the apartment, and there are two bathrooms ��the bath and toilet near your room, and the en-suite to his room— meaning Spencer’s coming to see you specifically.
“Hey, Y/N?” he says.
It’s been a few days since he was home, and you aren’t just roommates, Spencer’s your friend. He sounds happy that you’re awake, pausing at your bedroom door.
“I’m in the bathroom!” you say, your dry throat turning your voice to fractures.
“I just wanted you to know I’m home. Are you working?”
“It’s Saturday.”
He laughs. “Oh. I know, I forgot. Well, can I make you breakfast? I was gonna have oats and sliced bananas and stuff.”
“Okay.” You clear your throat. “I’ll be right there.”
“Sorry,” he says, like he’s just remembered where you are. “This is harassment. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
You wash your face and brush your teeth. You head back into your room to change from your pyjamas into loungewear that’s just as soft. The flavour of your dream follows you around, you’d like to call it sweetness, saccharinity, but it doesn’t fit the bill. The feeling you’d woken with wasn’t a sugar high but contentedness, like a warm evening meal. You’d felt utterly sated, your arms reaching out for a body that wasn’t there.
A heaviness takes your heart. Suffocating longing, you carry it to the kitchen with you to find Spencer’s already made you a cup of your tea. He’s warming oatmeal on the stove, blueberries and bananas on the countertop. You sit at the island. You should hug him. If you hadn’t dreamt of his hands on your waist what felt like mere moments ago, you would’ve.
“Did you go shopping?”
“I did, I went to Leaven last night. You were already sleeping at ten.” He peeks at you from over his shoulder. “Long day yesterday?”
“I get too tired by Friday,” you say, averting your gaze to stare down into your mug, steam twirling up to kiss your chin.
“No, I get it. Me too. Are you feeling any better today?”
You were sick when he left. “I’m fine.”
“Okay, good. I’m gonna put the blueberries in with the oatmeal, is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“Okay.” Spencer’s gaze lingers on you. He turns back to the counter.
He cuts two bananas. You realise he has strawberries, too, watching as he cuts them, wetness leaking from their punnets where he must’ve rinsed them in the sink. He slices out the stems and cuts the strawberries in clean halves like hearts.
“I missed you,” he says.
You can’t read his tone, but you aren’t cruel, even feeling shy as you are. “I missed you too. How was the case? Everyone made it home in one piece, right?”
“Everyone’s fine. Emily got into a car accident and it was pretty bad, but she’s okay now. Recovering from her concussion at home with Sergei.”
That’s good. You’ve met Spencer’s boss, Agent Hotchner (very scary), and Emily, JJ, and Penelope (who aren’t scary at all). You’re glad to hear they’re all okay, because they’re good people, and they risk a lot to keep others safe. You forget sometimes how much Spencer puts on the line whenever he leaves.
You poke at him for details of the case, though legally there are things he has to keep from you, and you don’t mind either way. Nothing personal can crop up while talking of murder, and for now you’d like the conversation to stay far away from you and your bed and your sudden dream.
You assume you’re safe, but then Spencer mentions the bruise one of the sergeants got from their weapon’s kickback and you’re flushing nervously all over again.
Spencer grabs two bowls from the cabinet, dark brown ceramics he got from Koreatown, the perfect size for each helping of oatmeal. The purple from the insides of the blueberries bleed into the oats as he pours.
He lays each bowl with a curve of banana slices, strawberries, and covers half with a drizzle of dark fudge sauce. “Salt?” he asks.
“Yes, please.”
Spencer grabs two spoons from the cutlery drawer. He grins when he finally turns, bowls held aloft, making his way to the stool beside you. He puts his own down first, then the cutlery, standing ever so slightly behind you as he lays your breakfast down in front of you. “What have you been doing while I was away?” he asks softly.
You can’t look at him. Can’t think.
What are you doing?
What does it look like I’m doing?
I don’t know, dove. That’s why I asked.
You lean away from his presence, desperate to have him follow, and ashamed. Spencer’s a friend, a good one, he’s kind and loving and handsome beyond description, but you’ve never thought of him like that. Each time your mind slips wondering what he might be like in love, you’ve let the thought go. But now...
You shrug, grabbing your spoon. “Not much, Spencer. This looks amazing, it’s really pretty. Thank you for cooking.”
“No problem. Are you sure you’re feeling better? You don’t look so good.”
You take a quick bite of oatmeal, the spoon scalding your tongue, “Ah,” you say, breathing harshly around it, “I’m fine. Woke up a little wrong, that’s all.”
Spencer sits in the seat next to you with a soft smile. “Good. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”
Oh, no, you think, reading way too much into how he says it. No, no, no.
—
ii facts
We should explore the city, Spencer declares after breakfast, before we forget what it’s like to be outside!
You were outside yesterday before you got home, and everything sucked as much as it usually did —it’s the weekend, and the point of it is to stay home resting and or lazing, but you wouldn’t usually say no to Spencer so you can’t now. He can’t ever know about your dream, so he can’t know how you’re feeling, so you have to be the friends you’ve always been.
Spencer analyses people for a reason, but you have practice. You’ve successfully hidden what it was that morning that made you feel cagey and tender. He knows something is wrong regardless. He attempts to fix it the best way he knows how: Spencer talks.
“Cheese production globally outshadows coffee, tea, tobacco, and chocolate, over twenty two million metric tons of it every year, with almost half of that made in Europe alone, which is only a half million metric ton more than what’s being eaten. The average American eats forty two pounds of cheese a year, but I don’t really like cheese that much? So I’m bringing the average down. Besides, every time I eat cheese I get strange dreams. There’s actually a chemical in cheese called tyramine which is linked to nightmares. Hey, you okay?”
“Cheese gives you weird dreams?”
“Why, have you been eating a lot of it lately?”
“No,” you say resolutely. “I hate cheese. I’ve never eaten cheese before.”
“That’s a lie.”
“Let’s get donuts.”
Spencer is easily swayed. You glance around the square for the McDonald’s and follow that to the street with the bakery, landmark to landmark, until the smell of sugar and oil is strong enough to follow. “Do you wanna know something about donuts?” he asks, crushing in behind you as you pass through the heavy wooden door of the bakery and join the line.
“Sure.”
“They were first called oily cakes.”
“I knew that,” you say, “you’ve told me that, Spencer. That’s the first fact anybody thinks of.”
“Okay, don’t be rude,” he says, giving you a playful poke in the ribs, right into the bruise that isn’t a bruise.
You look over your shoulder at him, catching his eye. You share a long look that’s daunted on your part and confused on his, brown eyelashes tangling in the corners the longer he looks at you. “What?” he asks, squinting.
”Nothing.”
“Okay,” he says, his voice lowering, quiet to match the hush of the bakery and its humming fridges, “don’t tell me. I’ll work it out eventually.”
“Dude!”
“What?” he asks with a laugh.
“Boundaries!” you laugh back. “Stop trying to figure me out.”
“But there’s something to figure out?”
He’s evil when he smiles like that. His pride is adorable, giving his sweet face an even fresher look. You’d pinch his cheeks if they weren’t already pinking in the October cold. His scarf hasn’t saved him, his coat buttoned tightly no match for the winds. Not to say it’s a bad day. The weather is fine if you keep your fingers in your pockets and your nose in the depths of your coat.
“What do we want?” you ask rather than answer.
They have white icing, chocolate with sprinkles, jelly middles, smiley faces. They have donut holes by the bag. “Hazelnut spread,” you say, pointing at the side of the case. “That looks good.”
He enters in conspiratorial whispers with you. “Apple cider doughnuts with cinnamon sugar,” he says, pointing at the row below. “What about a double chocolate chunk cookie? They look good. Hey, there’s cake in the fridge.”
You let him lean into your side. His hair kisses your cheek.
“Pick whatever you want, okay?” he asks, offering a smaller smile than before. “I’m buying.”
“You can’t, Spencer Reid, I want so many things.”
“It’s fine, I missed you, I dragged you out when you wanted to stay in bed.” He stares at you. “Let me,” he mouths.
You ignore the hot twist of your stomach and nod. Okay.
Spencer buys the baked goods you’d admitted to wanting and the three others you’d eyed, as well as a cookie and two fat slices of red velvet cake. He asks you to carry the box while he pays. The woman behind the counter gives you a knowing look and a flick of her head, as if to say, Lucky you. You can’t quite smile back, distracted by the insinuation. You haven’t thought of it before, but you and Spencer, naturally, look like a couple. You could easily be one. And the idea that she thinks so fills you with a shocking amount of smugness.
You and Spencer head home before dinner. On the walk back, he pulls the cookie apart and offers you half.
—
What if, when you fall asleep tonight, you dream of Spencer again?
You lay on your back with your hand on your chest, drawing circles. The cold of the evening is explained by the rain lashing your window, distant winds coming forceful now. A thunderstorm. You tap the middle of your chest in an attempt to be idle, rather than restless.
It isn’t a dream you’d like to have again, you decide. Spencer had been soft. You’d been familiar with each other.
What would it really feel like to have him touch you like that? Is Spencer confident, when he’s comfortable? Is he imposing?
My stomach, you think slowly, is never going to stop spinning.
“Y/N?” Spencer asks.
You can hear him all the way from the kitchen.
“Yeah?” you ask, raising your voice so it carries.
“Can I come and sit with you?”
It’s an odd request. You know Spencer’s like you, no social butterfly, quiet and content to spend time by oneself because being with others hasn’t always been an option. He isn’t timid, however, and his asking shouldn’t shock you, but it does. “Sure,” you say, shifting onto one side of the bed.
Spencer arrives at the ajar door and lets himself in. He carries two bottles of water and a heat pack, which he likes to use when the weather allows it. A creature comfort, you assume. Something soothing and constant, like the sound of a fan at night, or rain on a window.
“I can’t sleep,” he says, “which doesn’t make much sense.” Spencer sits on the empty side of the bed, his lips pulled into a grimace. “I like the rain.”
He’s more handsome when he’s smiling, but there’s a charm to him as he passes you a bottle of water and crosses his legs. The plaid slacks he’s wearing are rough with age, dark blues that seem black in the low lighting.
“Maybe it’s because of work,” you say.
“Maybe, but I’m pretty used to getting woken up.”
“Right. It’s not easy, though, the stuff you do. It would keep me up at night if I did your job.”
“I think sometimes doing my job is the only reason I can sleep.”
“It's hard. Sounds hard, Spence.” You relax into your pillow, turning to see him. Spencer’s eyes run along your hip for a millisecond, just long enough to remind you that he’s a boy, that he could see you in a different light.
“It’s okay,” he says.
“Was it hard, this time?” you ask.
“No,” he whispers. “I don’t know, it was bad when Emily got hurt, but she’s so stubborn. If Morgan didn’t strap her down she would’ve kept going like nothing happened.”
You and Spencer have lived together for so long that you remember a time before he even knew Emily. You answered his ad in the paper —you hadn’t realised people still put ads in the paper— looking for a roommate. His apartment was already furnished and he didn’t want to change much, but the second bedroom was spacious and the bathroom could be monopolised. As a girl, you’d been a little dubious reading about a single male looking for any gender, but his self-description was inviting. Twenty-two, just finished a doctorate, working for the FBI and expected to be away from the state at least once a month.
You’d met Spencer and felt even less intimidated. He was awkward and dorky but friendly, too, with his glasses he apparently didn’t want to wear, but would eventually give in (before choosing contacts), and his big red sweater fit for a grandpa. “I can make more room for you but I can’t get rid of the books,” he said, “so I don’t expect you to pay a neat half.”
How could you pass it up?
“I can’t believe I’ve never met them,” you say.
“Do you want to?”
He sounds so surprised. “They’re your friends. I’m your… friend.”
“You’re my best friend. I’ll arrange something, or try to. It’s hard to get us all in one room when that room isn’t the conference room,” he says.
“You look nice in a t-shirt,” you say, not thinking as the words come out.
Spencer leans in to whisper, “Thanks. You like this one?”
His t-shirt says, I may be NErDy, but only periodically. The NErDy is made up of elements from the periodic table. It’s a bad pun.
“I love it.”
He reaches for you. Tentative, he squeezes your elbow. “Is there something wrong? All day it’s like… I don’t know, did something happen when I was gone?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“But…”
“Please,” you say, as he catches the last bit of light from the hallway, every eyelash illuminated for the counting. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Spencer. But thank you.”
He, in a move that’s almost uncharacteristic, pushes your arm into the mattress and leans over you. “I wanna be the first one to know when you do wanna talk,” he says firmly, holding your gaze.
How’s your bruise?
You nod mechanically. Spencer recedes. “Okay, good,” he says, grinning.
“Good,” you echo, thinking of Spencer in the dream, his hand on your hip and climbing up your sore ribs. “Let’s watch TV.”
—
iii. scared of snow
“You’re being weird.”
“I’m not,” you refute.
“You are.”
Spencer frowns at you, a show full downturn of the lips. A dusting of snow lands in his hair and you both look up to catch it, a drift of it from the marquee as you pass. You don’t remember when it started snowing, but it feels like it’s been coming down for days. It’s in his eyelashes. Your sleeves are wet with it.
“The snow’s making you strange.”
You hold out your hand with fingers parted, feeling his laugh travelling down his arm and into yours as he takes it, intertwining your fingers tightly. He doesn’t feel cold.
“It’s making you strange,” you mumble.
You and Spencer walk down a cobbled road. Snow crunches under your shoes, turned to slush in the high traffic spots by vendors booths left curiously empty of shopkeepers, though their festive wares still line the insides, carved cuckoo birds and metal ornaments, glass balls made to be personalised for mantles. You can smell orange oil and chocolate fudge, crepe carts and churros and cinnamon, and then suddenly any hint of your olfactory sense is gone.
“It’s so quiet.”
“It’s the snow,” he says, pulling your arm against his chest as you walk and walk, your footsteps the only sound. “It acts as a sound absorber when it’s fluffy like this. The sound waves get caught.”
Caught. You think, or say, not sure if it makes it out of your mouth.
“Like you,” he says, stopping in the middle of the road.
“What?” you ask.
Snow lands in his eyelashes. “You’re caught,” he says.
You wake up thinking his hand is on your cheek. Like a nightmare, you start, still picturing his lips moving around the words. Caught, you think again, heart a hummingbird in your chest. Your mouth is dry. The heat is up —Spencer must be home again.
You suck in a deep breath and sit up, curling over yourself protectively.
You dream about Spencer more often than ever, and half the time they’re normal dreams, which is to say, they follow no rhyme or reason, with no discernible plot. Spencer loses all his teeth, or he takes you to the movies to see one of his long Swedish films, or he’s an afterthought, a bystander. The main plot of your dream doesn’t involve him at all.
But the other half of the time is ruining your life. You dream of Spencer holding your hand like you had been, or touching your shoulder. Never again do you dream of that tender bruise, but Spencer lifts your shirt in other scenarios. He pulls your pyjamas off, his hand inching between your legs but never touching, or he helps you out of your bra. And every time you think, why is this happening to me? Perhaps a sex dream could be explained away by want and Spencer’s proximity, but all these constant intimacies weigh heavy in your head.
You head to the shower and picture Spencer helping you out of your bra, and all of you goes hot, so you turn the water to lukewarm and stand until you’re cold to the point of misery. You clamber out and shiver into a towel, then your robe.
Spencer’s humming in the kitchen.
You honestly wish that the dreams made you like him less, that the sound of him might send you running back into your room, but you poke your head out of the bathroom and wait until he enters the living room. He sees you waiting, his face splitting into a smile. “Hey, good morning, did you sleep better?”
You can’t explain the discombobulation of your dreams. Spencer had become convinced you have insomnia. You may have let him assume.
“Slept fine,” you croak.
“Okay, well get dressed and I’ll make you some coffee.”
“‘Kay.” Your stomach pangs with nerves seeing him, reminded of tonight’s big event. “Are we still, uh, on, for tonight?”
“Nervous?” he asks.
You feel like you're about to be a fish in a pool of sharks. “Of course not.”
“Yeah, still on, even JJ.”
Awesome. Spencer turns around to make you your cup of coffee and you go to your room, dressing quickly, two pairs of socks. You tone your face and moisturise, fanning yourself slowly. You don’t hurry to the living room, but you aren’t slow, and it’s not Spencer, you tell yourself. Not Spencer. You’re just craving the warmth of a cup of coffee.
You spend the morning together on the couch. Spencer reads and occasionally chats to you about whatever tome it is that specific half an hour. You make sandwiches at lunch time, he showers in the early evening. You get dressed and primped while he’s gone, and at 6PM, Spencer knocks your bedroom door to ask if you’re ready to go.
“Could I fake an illness?” you joke nervously.
Spencer’s hand falls on your handle. The door is ajar as usual, but he doesn’t tread any further inside.
“Come in,” you say.
Spencer takes a single step inside before stopping. He looks you up and down without the hunger you crave from him, a more clement, familiar appreciation to him as he says, “You look pretty.” He traces your arm, leaving the skin tingly in his wake. “Really pretty.”
“Thank you. I didn’t want to overdress.”
“It’s perfect, don’t worry. And no, you couldn’t fake an illness. They all know when I’m lying, especially Hotch. And Emily, actually.”
You squeeze your hands together tightly at your stomach. “I don’t know why I’m sooo nervous.” You lick your lips. “I feel like I can’t stop fidgeting.”
“They’re used to it, I promise. They know that they’re gonna make you nervous, but they’ve sworn to be on their best behaviour, and besides, you’re not the only plus one. JJ’s bringing Will, and Morgan’s bringing his sister, I’ve only met her once. The focus won’t be all on you.” He lowers his voice. “After two drinks they forget they’re supposed to be scary.”
“What if I say something extremely stupid to your boss and get you in trouble?”
“What are you going to get me in trouble for?”
“I don’t know. What if I accidentally tell him that that sick day you took a few weeks ago was to help me make brownies?”
“Everyone lies about sick days.” He deliberates. “Maybe not Hotch. But I’m pretty sure he knew I was lying, and it’s explainable. I felt… irate.”
You raise your eyebrows. “What?”
“Staying home with you made me feel better. Which made me a better worker the next day, it’s fine.” His phone rings from somewhere in the apartment. “That’ll be JJ. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah?” He grins. “Okay. You’re wearing a coat, right? It’s cold. The forecast says snow. It’s thirty degrees out.”
You layer a coat onto your jacket and a scarf to make him happy. You and Spencer get a taxi, black leather gritless under your hands, though you squeeze the seat like it’s gonna stop the car the whole time. Spencer doesn’t talk much, but he looks at you unapologetically, and he smiles, and the quiet is as severe as it was in your dream that morning. If this were a dream he’d be leaning over to cradle your ear. He’d ask in whispers if you were alright, and he’d let his hand rest kindly on your knee.
“What?” you whisper.
His lips part like he might answer. The car comes to a crunching stop outside the bar, and whatever it was he was going to say is kept for later. “I’ll tell you after,” he says.
He pays for the taxi before you can work it out and you say thank you to the driver. The sidewalk is clean, broad, and glowing with the last bit of light. The sun sets behind you. The bar beckons in front.
Your fear is daunting.
You have years of practice fooling Spencer. You know that he knows your tells, so you’ve changed them, and Spencer cares about you enough to ignore obvious truths if he thinks you might not want to share. His colleagues, FBI agents trained to detect deception, are going to take one good look at you and know you’re lying about… this.
You’re plagued by dreams of Spencer, but nothing can touch the real thing.
You feel the space between you like it’s aflame. Spencer checks you’re with him and opens the door.
The bar is busy even for a Saturday. You aren’t expecting the volume, the boisterousness of the patrons already slumped together over tables and waiting at the bar to get their drinks. It’s smaller than you’d pictured too, but its size is made up for with a patio at the back, smokers haunting the door, wary of the cold.
You know what his friends look like already, yet seeing them in person is odd. Hotch is taller than you’d thought, Emily more startlingly pretty. JJ’s frowning, and her partner Will looks like he’s about to fall asleep despite a lazy grin.
Hotch notices you first. He taps Emily on the elbow, who pauses in a thought to follow his gaze. Her face breaks into a smile, and if you weren’t in love with Spencer Reid, you might take a tumble for his pale coworker.
“Hello,” Spencer says, ushering you to the table with an arm behind your back.
“Hi,” you say.
“He-llo,” Emily says, leaning into the table, a strand of her hair dangerously close to a short glass of juice. “I can’t believe we’re finally seeing you in person. I’m Emily.”
“Y/N,” you say.
“Aaron,” Hotch adds. (Aaron! He’s far more intimidating casually than as a boss, it seems.)
“Derek was just here,” JJ says in way of greeting, while Will drawls from over her shoulder, “I’m Will, it’s nice to meet you.”
Spencer pulls out a chair for you and promptly sits in the one beside Emily. “Sorry we’re late. I forgot my wallet and we had to go back up to the apartment and the cab I called got so angry about it that he left.”
You slide between the table and your chair, looking to Spencer for guidance, but he’s distracted taking his coat off and you have to look at Aaron instead.
His smile is immediately knowing. Read for filth in seconds. “We don't bite.”
“Not so early in the evening,” Emily says.
You take a shuddering breath, thankful they can’t hear it over the sounds of the bar.
—
“I’m caught!” you exclaim.
Spencer hugs you under the arms. “I know,” he says gently.
“Caught!”
He holds back a laugh as your arms react, practically flung behind his head in a hug that threatens to cut off the oxygen supply to his brain. “I think you’ve caught me, instead,” he says.
You laugh in his ear. There’s gin on your breath and the sweeter smell of orange juice. It’s not bad, but weird to know it’s from your mouth. Or not weird. It gives Spencer a feeling like seeing the soft curve of your hip when you’re lying on your side. Like watching you bite your bottom lip when you’re distracted by the TV and worrying to yourself, which you do more often than not lately. They’re private things that Spencer shouldn’t know about.
“I’m not trying to,” you say, and Spencer can smell the shot of vodka you did too, which is less pleasant. “Not trying to catch you. Not… I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
Over your shoulder, Spencer spots Hotch’s entertained gaze. All the team has done since you sat down together was pick on Spencer and his obviousness. Boyfriend? they’d asked you. Looking? Sights set on someone? All while JJ nudged him under the table.
Things are falling apart now. JJ’d departed to hold Emily’s hair back, and Will with her. Hotch caught the eye of a woman across the way, and they sit chatting amicably at the bar with more peanuts than drinks. Derek, when he did appear, stayed for an hour with Desiree, recounting to you his most embarrassing stories of which Spencer had taken care to shield you from, and laughed at his subsequent blush.
He never wanted you to know about his run in with anthrax, and he especially didn’t want you to know he’d been stripped nude afterwards and hosed off like a muddy dog.
You’d turned to him with wide, worried eyes. “You were poisoned?” you’d asked.
It’s stuff like that that makes this difficult.
“I don’t know if you know this,” he says now, rubbing your back, “but I’m good with difficult concepts.”
“I did not mean to be like this.”
“You didn’t eat much.” Spencer helps you stand on your own two feet. “They kitchen’s still open. I can get you food, how about a burger? Or we can go find you something.“
“What kind of burger?” you ask, poorly concealing your excitement.
Spencer gets you back to the table. “I’ll be right back.”
“Wait, don’t go.”
“I’m gonna get food. Do you want fries?”
“Spencer, what if I throw up?”
Spencer shrugs. “I can rub your back?”
“I don’t want to throw up.”
“Then drink that,” he says, sliding his glass of coke toward you. “Alcohol irritates the lining of your stomach and increases the production of stomach acid. If you drink,” —he flinches as you knock the cup back— “slowly you can dilute your stomach contents without upsetting it. Slowly,” he says, squeezing your hand, “I’ll order food.”
“No, wait.” You drop the glass and grab him. “Please don’t go. I don’t want to throw up by myself.”
“You won’t throw up.”
“Please,” you say, holding his wrist in both hands, your eyes shiny. “Spencer, don’t go.”
“I won’t.” He doesn’t know how true it is and then suddenly he’s sat down. He won’t go. He wouldn’t leave your side ever again if that’s what you asked of him.
He puts your chairs together, entertaining your tipsy thoughts with light conversation and the occasional slight of hand. You have an aura about you, like Spencer’s doing more than close-up magic, hanging on his every word. Your nervousness had you gasping like a fish, not so subtly downing one drink, then another, but now that you’re feeling the effects of them (and a few extras), the tightness you’d held in your fingers is gone. You’re leaning against the back of the chair with all the ease of you on the couch at home, but the easy fondness you’d usually wear while he speaks is replaced by a bright and shining awe. A sweetness like he’s remarkable. The soft line of your lips and your widened eyes.
You’re not the sort of drunk that leaves you listless and ready for bed. This is giggly and fun, and so long as you don’t push it you’ll be alright. It wasn’t enough alcohol to leave you inebriated all night, anyhow. In a few hours the giddiness will wear away, leaving you with a headache and a deep longing for your missed dinner.
“I’m glad you didn’t let me fake food poisoning,” you say.
“Is that what you were thinking? That’s a terrible excuse. You need something with sudden onset symptoms, like an asthma attack, or pneumonia. An acute illness.”
You take his hand. “I love that you know that stuff.”
Feeling as in love with you as ever, and sorry for you drunken state —he could’ve stopped you, he just didn’t think— he folds your hands together, both of his, rubbing the hills of your knuckles with his thumb. Your hands look right together.
That’s what Spencer likes to think, anyway.
You slow like you’re tired, hand lax in his grips. Your mouth opens but nothing follows, no sigh or gripe or conversation.
“You okay?” he asks softly.
“I think I’m having one of those dreams again.”
“You’re awake,” he says.
“I don’t know about that. They’re all like this.”
He hums, smoothing his thumb down the back of your hand. “If this were a dream, you wouldn't have control over what you’re doing. Why don’t you do something you wouldn’t do in a dream?”
“Like what?” you ask.
“There’s a ton of stuff you can’t do in dreams. People find they have a poor memory, but I can’t ask you to recall anything. You might not remember regardless. How about temperature?” he suggests. “Most people can’t feel warm or cold in their dreams. Do you want to feel something cold?”
You watch him for a few seconds, your eyebrows pulled together unhappily. “Your hands are warm,” you say.
“Right.” He suspects they’ll feel warmer in just a few seconds when the hot flush in his face manages to work its way down. “I’m warm. So are you.”
“Sometimes I feel like you’re warm in the dream, though. You make me feel warm.”
“It’s remembered, maybe.”
You don’t look any happier. “Sometimes I wish I could stop having them, but…” You duck your head. “Sorry, Spencer.”
“What are you sorry for?”
Your head ducks lower. With a start to his chest, your shoulders shake, like you're inhaling the first half of a sob.
“Hey, hey,” he says, reaching for your cheek, ducking his own head to see you, “what’s wrong? It’s okay, you don’t have anything to be sorry for!” he whispers emphatically. “You have nothing to be sorry for, why would you think that?”
“I keep having these dreams, all the time, and– and I– I’ll mess everything up. Everything we have, I’m going to–” You hiccup, eyes turned glassy, imploring him to forgive you for something you haven’t done. “I don’t feel good.”
“You haven’t done anything wrong,” he says, his hand sliding back to your ear, down to your neck, “you’re just drunk. You’re confused.”
“But the dreams–”
“What dreams?” he asks gently.
You blow out a daunted breath. “Where you love me.”
“I do love you.”
“But more than this. You love me more than this,” you say, shaking your head. “I really don’t feel okay… Do you think we could go home?”
You’re so sorry and frowny that Spencer would attempt, in all his unfitness, to climb Mount Everest for you should you ask. “Yeah, we can go home,” he says, rubbing your arm up and down and up again, a line of affection from shoulder to wrist. “I’ll take you home. It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have to be upset, I shouldn’t have asked.”
He’s not sure what he asked, really, but the answer upset you. His heart’s racing like he just sprinted the length of the bar and you’re close to tears, this strange weepy sullenness about you as you say, “It’s okay. Let’s just go.”
—
It’s cold to be sitting out by yourself, though the snow stayed its hand another night while the temperature fell again. Your coat poses a weak defence against the chill, nipping at your nose, burning the insides of every breath, and your feet are stiff like ice in your shoes. Yet, the idea of returning to the apartment is a leaden stone in your stomach.
Spencer could barely look at you that morning. You hadn’t given him much of a chance, slipping out of the apartment with little more than a call to say you’d be back later. Your groceries freeze in a paper bag by your feet.
You’re not too embarrassed about getting tipsy. It was drinks with Spencer and his friends, not dinner. Emily had been twice as drunk, and Derek had encouraged you to drink with a round on him. You’re mortified, however, by what you’d said. Your memory is clear enough to know you’d told Spencer about your dreams.
He’d been confused at the time, but he’s a smart boy. He’ll figure it out.
“This headache,” you mumble, tipping your head into your hand morosely. You rub your brow, fingers against the ache, the cold getting worse.
Why did it take a dream for you to realise you had feelings for Spencer? And why did you have to realise at all? If you’d never had that dream, never had that phantom bruise, his hands careful and caring and touching up to the band of your bra, you wouldn’t know now what it is to want him. The dream gave you a bruise, and Spencer presses against it real or otherwise every time he looks at you. You were wrong thinking that it never happened; it’s still there, a purple lash against your ribs.
Every time he makes you breakfast, or he texts you from a different state, or he sits down on the couch just to talk to you. Every time he says something smart, or he tilts his head back as he laughs, or he draws a smiley face on the mirror by the door–
“About those dreams?”
You rub your eyes hard. Of course he’d come to find you. “Please don’t.”
“Please,” he says. You see him through your fingers. His thick scarf is unravelled at his neck, his hair ragged around his face like he’s been raking it repeatedly behind his ears.
You straighten.
“I don’t get it,” he says, “you’ve been dreaming about me? Why is that such a big deal?”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“I dream about you all the time,” he says. “We’re in each other's lives, we live together, it makes sense that your hippocampus would use me. You have a lot of memories with me.” Spencer crosses his arms in front of you. “It’s freezing.”
“I’ll be home in a bit.”
“I’m not gonna go back without you,” he says, like that’s a given.
You move across the bench to make room for him. Spencer sits.
You settle. The occasional bus trundles past, a limited rota for an early Sunday morning. Spencer shoves his hands into his pockets. His lips are already turning blue.
“I know you know what I mean,” you say.
Spencer presses his knees together. “Even romantic dreams where I’m… where we’re together, it’s all easily explained away by brain science. You can’t control what you dream, and I’m not going to hold you to it.”
Silence, silence. You tip your head back to see a horrible grey cloud closing in on you both, the sun a white and gauzy memory behind it. Spencer’s right about control, but he doesn’t get that you like them. It’s not fair to him that you’ve somehow rallied a second life when you’re sleeping, where he’s your mind’s puppet, hugging and holding you, pressing his cheek to the side of your face. Saying things you wish he’d tell you now.
“Well, I like you.”
“What?” you ask, coughing.
“Not to make things awkward or anything, but I like you. Romantically.” Spencer’s voice takes a sharp veer into high-pitched freneticism. “Does that help at all?”
“What?”
“It’s far more embarrassing that I like you on purpose than your accidental dreams, right?” He thumbs at the inside of his wrist. “You don’t have to say anything, or think anything, and I’m not going to change, but I have feelings for you.”
You feel like you’re standing at the top of a very tall building. “Oh?”
“I kind of thought you knew.”
“How could I know that?” you ask, cringing as a cold gust of air bites at your face.
Spencer takes his scarf off and pushes it into your hands. “I don’t know. I guess we know less about each other than we thought.”
The way he says it.
Spencer wraps his scarf around you when it’s clear you aren’t going to do it yourself, and he touches your cheek briefly, a brush of his fingers like he thinks he’s doing something he shouldn’t be allowed to.
“I dream about you all the time,” he says quietly.
A bus passes by and shines headlights at your feet. The wind blows, your ears roar, and just above you, in a cold front to mark the season, snow begins to fall.
You look up simultaneously. A snowflake gets caught in Spencer’s eyelashes.
Just one.
“This is so weird,” you mumble.
Spencer wipes at his eye. “Could you tell me why?”
“I had a dream just like this.”
He laughs warmly. “Of course you did. Forget all reason, then. You’re prophetic.”
“I don’t think I could’ve predicted this.”
“Why? It’s only snow. Virginia gets an inch of snow most Decembers.”
You laugh. In a dream, this is where you and Spencer would kiss or hold hands, or rest your cheek on the other’s shoulder, but neither of you are brave enough. And, as the snow turns to a sleet below freezing, you can’t ignore the cold.
—
iv. the end
The longest anyone has ever slept in recorded human history is eleven days. Two hundred and sixty four hours, or nearly sixteen thousand minutes, just shy of one million seconds of sleep.
The first pillow was invented in Mesopotamia more than nine thousand years ago, in a time where the amount of pillows a person had directly correlated their personal riches. The history of pillows is tumultuous and eclectic. Headrests made of wood, stone, or jade. Curved neck holders worn soft with use.
And, of all Spencer’s gifted facts, you find yourself circling back to the same one as you wait for him to wake: most dreams are no longer than twenty minutes. However, it’s important to note that the longest dream ever officially observed was in 1994, when a man managed to be in REM for just over three hours. You’ve had dreams that felt like they lasted for hours, but likely took place for just twenty minutes. If you could dream for three hours a night, you could live an entire life of longing in a pocket of time.
Thankfully, you have no need to hide from reality anymore. Spencer sleeps beside you and you don’t want to sleep, you just want him to wake up.
“Good morning,” you whisper, drawing your fingertip across his cheek to encourage the hair that’s fallen there back in line.
He doesn’t stir. It’s alright, you hadn’t meant to wake him.
“I love you,” you whisper, shuffling across the sheets to feel the heat and weight of his body against your own. He doesn’t move for a while, snoring gently, his breath kissing the top of your head as you burrow into the slip of space under his chin. Then, as if he were awake, he wraps his arm around you and drags you in further. His face angles down and his nose finds your forehead, and a hum of what you’d personally say is content kisses your brow.
You tuck your hand behind his back and rub a circle.
Spencer didn’t last long after the initial realisation of requited feelings. In a day he’d asked if you wanted to be his girlfriend (vaguely apologetic, still worried about scaring you, though you’d already come clean about wanting him as you’d warmed your cold hands by the stove). A week later he kissed you on a date outside of the cosiest Indian restaurant in Washington, D.C, and things have been nothing but smooth sailing from there.
Now, when he’s feeling romantic, he brings home butter chicken and turns your face up for kissing, fork in hand. Every night before bed, he tells you to have good dreams, a self-satisfaction in his eyes that you dearly love.
You knew he was a dork and you liked him because of it, but the sheer increase in him is amazing. Yesterday he sent you Close to You by Carpenters over text claiming they wrote it about you. When he got home, he tried to make you dance with him in the living room. After two or three kisses, you’d let him pull you to your feet.
Spencer has turned loving one another into an everyday spectacularity, and not some mystical dream you ached for.
He squeezes the skin of your shoulder as he wakes. Heavy in the hands of sleep, Spencer rubs the tip of his nose to yours, nudging your face up, and waiting there with your lips a few millimetres apart as he finds his bearings. You don’t open your eyes. There’s no need.
“Time?” he mumbles.
“I don’t,” —you clear your hoarse voice, his hand flattening protectively behind you— “know, um. Maybe seven. The sun was rising…”
“You could have woken me up,” he says, and kisses you slowly. It’s almost gluttonous, how he does it. Not chaste at all. His hair falls into your face and tickles your cheeks, his nose smushes your own with his easy depth.
You hold his face and kiss him twice, following a line under his chin, where you pause, smelling yesterday's cologne on his skin. “I was hoping I’d fall asleep again,” you confess.
“Oh, no, don’t do that.” He scoops you against him and turns onto his back as you laugh. “Angel. Let’s stay up now. Let’s just… stay here.”
If you stay here he’s going to waylay you with a smattering of his voracious kisses, and he’s going to turn you on your back and kiss your neck. He’ll touch that place on your ribs where you’d once dreamt a bruise. It’s a secret you couldn’t keep. He likes to kiss you there when he remembers, but most of the time his hands run along it without mention. A slow caressing.
You push your face against his shoulder and sigh as his arms close in around you. With a little effort, you get your arms around him in turn, and you hug him for as long as you can stand the pins and needles in your fingers.
“You smell so good,” you mumble.
He pats your back absentmindedly.
Today, you’re going to make Spencer oatmeal with banana and chocolate. You’re going to shower, maybe together if the small space can handle it, laughing at the soap in his eyebrows and the way he squeals when you touch his hips. You’re going to drape yourself across his lap as he reads, and he’ll lean down to kiss the tip of your nose or some other strange part of you unused to affection. The top of your ear, the palm of your hand, maybe the crook of your elbow. He’ll ramble through dinner or creep up behind you to sniff your shoulder, and it’ll all be choices you’ve made. Nothing left to want or wanting, but being in love while wide awake.
“Are you tired?” you ask him.
He takes a deep breath of your hair. “No,” he says, drawing a light line up your side, “I’m okay. There are worse faces to wake up to.”
You try not to fluster noticeably. He’s always been a good roommate. You’re still getting used to the boyfriend part, the intimacy of being complimented, but Spencer seems to have slipped into the part easily.
“Sorry, that was mean. There’s nothing I’d rather wake up to.”
“Thanks,” you mumble.
You’re tired, suddenly. The minutes pass in heavy blinks —you don’t want to sleep now that he’s awake, but being here with him is warming you from the inside out. You doze and wake and Spencer doesn’t say a word. His breaths come evenly against your cheek.
Eventually, he clears his throat, asksing, “Did you dream at all?” His voice is hewn. He rubs your chest, right over your heart.
”I’m not so sure that this isn’t one,” you say, your heartbeat a crawl under his touch.
“That’s corny.”
“Mm, the Spencer in my dreams is usually kinder.”
“Does he ever get to hold you like this?” he asks, letting his hand fall from your chest to wrap it back around you again.
You take a sleepy breath in. “No,” you say slowly, “he doesn’t.”
。𖦹°‧⭑.
thank youuuu for reading!! please like comment or reblog if you enjoyed!! thank you❤️
this fic was requested! I usually link to the request I was sent at the top, but I lost the post for this one, but this is what the request said:
“hi angel! i have a request for roommate!spencer where r has a very romantic dream about him and starts avoiding him because she's really embarrassed but spencer is so confused as to why his roommate suddenly can't even look him in the eye. maybe one of them realizes their feelings aren't entirely platonic in the end? love you!!!”
thank you original requester!
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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Kissing eddie just as you’re both about to get out of the car and now he’s got a problem cause he’s hard, and all your friends are waiting for you and you’re both a little late and Eddie we really gotta hurry up! what’s the issue? and the poor boy is bright red to his neck over how gone he is on you
ty for requesting :D ps: i'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure over this prompt –– when eddie's about to leave for a show, you make sure he knows exactly what he's missing out on (established relationship, st4 canon divergence, allusions to smut 18+ | 1k)
“How do I look?” Eddie wonders aloud as you trail down the creaking porch steps behind him. He plants his feet on the gravel driveway and spins on the heel of his sneaker to face you –– already bare-faced and clad in your pretty PJs for the night, a striking contrast to the lead guitarist of Corroded Coffin standing before you.
You pause on the second-to-last step and reach for his face. Eddie leans instinctively into your warm touch as you swipe your thumbs under his eyes, gently smudging his dark liner a bit more.
“Like a rockstar,” you answer with a proud smile.
Eddie scrunches his nose sheepishly in response, ‘cause he has nowhere to hide with you cradling his blushing face like this. He’s still not immune to the way you look at him, even after all this time. “You’re just sayin’ that,” he mumbles, kicking a lone rock with the toe of his show.
You hum in agreement as your hands fall from his face. “Yeah. ‘Cause it’s true.”
“To you, maybe,” Eddie scoffs, trying hard to ignore the pang of anxiety in his chest. “No one else seems to think so.”
He never used to be nervous performing before Vecna tried to kill him. It was the world that was scared of Eddie Munson, not the other way around –– until it nearly ended, anyway. Now, just leaving the house is enough to induce a panic attack. A part of him is always distantly fearful that a stranger’s face will turn out to be the dark wizard’s, back to life and hiding in plain sight again.
“Hey,” you scold, only partially playful. “I think the crowd of five drunks who watch you perform every Tuesday would agree with me.”
Despite the ice-cold apprehension making his limbs feel numb, Eddie manages a breathy chuckle. “You’re right. We could bomb, and they’d still act like we were playing Madison Square Garden or something.”
You soften then, as though sensing his worry. “You’re not gonna bomb, Eds. You guys are gonna do great. Just like always.”
“Sure you can’t come?” Eddie wonders quietly, blinking up at you with a pair of chocolate button eyes that are hard to say no to.
“You know I can’t… I have an early morning tomorrow,” you coo sympathetically, fighting back a smile when the boy’s rosy bottom lip juts in a pout. “But I’ll be right here when you get back, okay? And I’ll make sure to heat up dinner when you’re on your way. So you have something to soak up the alcohol and adrenaline with.”
You tilt your cheek to your shoulder, squinting suspiciously when Eddie’s frown curls into a cheeky grin. He reaches for you with a pair of ringed hangs and squeezes at your clothed hips. “Just like a good little housewife, huh?” he croons mischievously.
You roll your eyes at him ‘cause you’re not a housewife by any means.
You live in a trailer with his uncle, for one. And you work five days a week, for another. Besides, you’re not even his wife, which you think is usually the first step. (You have no idea Eddie’s already picked a ring out for you. Or that he plans on keeping that a secret until he plays enough shows to afford a house).
You decide to humor him, anyway.
“Sure,” you monotone with a slow nod.
Eddie’s grin widens.
“C’mon on, Munson! We’re gonna be late!” Jeff lisps from the passenger side window of the van. The rusted tin can is parked a ways down the drive, packed to the brim with all their band equipment like a perfect game of Tetris.
You lean forward to press a chaste kiss to his mouth.
“Wear that dress I like when I get back?” Eddie murmurs lowly.
You hum with your lips pursed to the side of your mouth, pretending to be deep in thought. “Hmm… I was kinda thinkin’ about wearing nothing, actually,” you answer, shrugging innocently. “You know, for easy access and whatnot.”
Eddie warms all over. His wild head starts to swim at the visual –– one he’s seen a hundred times before that he’s not quiet sure he’ll ever get over. “Have mercy…” the boy mumbles under his breath.
“Just try not to think about it too much while you’re gone…” you lilt knowingly, smoothing both your hands up and over the lapels of his leather jacket. “All alone… Naked in our bed… Trying to get myself off while I wait for you…”
Eddie stares at you with heavy, lidded eyes. He can’t take the chocolates of them off your lips as they curl into a mischievous, tightlipped smile. “How ‘bout I just stay home?” he offers lowly.
A resounding honk blares from the van in a wordless answer.
Gareth leans out the driver’s side window, face screwed and sandy curls wild. “C’mon, Eddie!” the boy yells like an impatient younger brother. “Put your dick in your pants already so we can go!”
Eddie’s head swivels back to face you again, chest deflating with a grieving sigh.
“You have to go,” you tell him, soft and sympathetic, as you press another kiss to his pout. “Have fun, honey,” you croon and step back from him –– knowing exactly what you’re doing as you trek back up the wobbly wooden porch steps.
Before you shut the front door behind you, you flash the boy a curt wave and a pretty smile. It takes a world of strength to keep from following behind you.
In a perfect world, Eddie would already have the door bolted shut with you pressed against it by now. He’d have your oversized shirt balled up at your ribs and your shorts pulled down to your ankles and his mouth licking over your pretty cotton panties.
He shakes his head in a physical attempt to remove the sinful thoughts from his brain as he stalks back to the van. He keeps his head bowed as he goes, trying to hide his reddened cheeks behind his wild curls. Gareth watches from the window as Eddie tugs at the crotch of his jeans, trying to un-strangle his hard cock like a teenager.
The boy leans between the front seats as Eddie climbs into the driver’s side, slamming the screeching door shut behind him. “You’re pathetic,” Gareth teases through a fit of boyish laughter.
“Shut up,” Eddie grumbles.
#published by bug#eddie munson x reader#stranger things x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson#stranger things#eddie munson imagine#stranger things imagine#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fic#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#st drabbles#eddie spaghetti drabble
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Hello, I absolutely love your work. I was just wondering if you could do something with animagus!reader x poly!wolfstar...? If not, that's totally okay. Have a good day 💓
I can never say no to wolfstar <3
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who is an animagus [1.2k words]
CW: Remus chiding reader [lovingly] for not sleeping enough, Sirius having everything under control, fluff
“Hey Pads.” Remus let out with a sigh as he entered their dorm room, immediately loosening his school tie and dropping his bookbag onto his bed.
“Hey Moons.” Sirius returned quickly as he flipped the page in his book; sitting with his back against the headboard of his own bed and curled up in one of Remus’ jumpers.
“Do you know where your girlfriend is?” Remus asked, causing Sirius to snort.
“My girlfriend? When’d she become my girlfriend?”
“She’s your girlfriend when she refuses to eat properly and drink enough water, or get more than three hours of sleep ‘here and there’.” Remus muttered rather petulantly, though it was all for show when he felt his heart traitorously twinge remembering how cute you looked nearly falling asleep over your breakfast this morning.
✧˖°☾
“It’s breakfast dovey, you should be waking up now, not falling asleep.” Remus said to you as he massaged the juncture between your neck and shoulder.
You looked rather sheepish as you tried to shake yourself or your residual sleepiness and brought a fork full of pancakes to your mouth. “Sorry moons… Was up late studying.”
“How late?” Remus had asked with his eyes narrowed, causing you to wince around your bite.
“Erm…what time is it now?”
“Dovey.”
“I slept for a little bit! Maybe…I don’t know, a few hours?”
“How many is a few?” He deadpanned.
“Three?”
✧˖°☾
He’d not been pleased with you, to say the least. But there was nothing he could do as the day quickly got away from him - between staying late after Herbology to get extra credit helping out Professor Sprout, grabbing something to eat from the kitchens before rushing to the library to tutor the first year Defence Against the Dark Arts students, and finally, his prefect rounds - he was only returning to his own dorm long after the sun had already set.
If he was tired, you must be positively exhausted.
“Oh, I get it.” Sirius replied with a huff. “When she’s tired and teary, she’s my girlfriend, but when she’s dutifully doted upon, she’s yours?”
“Yeah.” Remus agreed quickly, smiling before moving to peck a kiss to Sirius’ extremely kissable lips. “See? You get it.”
“Wanker.” Sirius muttered with a smile before puckering his lips for one more, and Remus gave him two.
“Was she terribly teary?” Remus asked then as he went to shed off his uniform and find himself a jumper that either you or Sirius hadn’t pilfered from his pile yet.
“Not terribly.” Sirius offered vaguely, causing Remus to make a sympathetic noise.
“But she was teary?”
Sirius made a noncommittal sound as he continued with his book. “No worse than you after a few too many pepper-up potions in place of, oh, how did you phrase it... eating properly, drinking enough water, and getting more than three hours of sleep here and there?”
“Prat.” Remus muttered as he tossed his uniform shirt at him, but Sirius - the bastard - caught it without even looking up. “Did you send her off to bed, then?”
“Sure.”
“Sirius.”
“Yes, Moons?” Sirius asked, looking up from his book with an innocent smile that Remus knew to be anything but innocent when coming from one Sirius Orion Black.
“She needs to sleep, Pads.”
“And I can assure you without a shadow of a doubt that she’s currently doing just that.” He responded simply.
“Yeah, how?”
Sirius simply winked at him before looking back down at his book. “Trade secrets, Moons.”
“Sirius.”
“Oh would you just come over here, then? You sodding git.”
Remus momentarily considered staying on his side of the dorm room just out of spite for Sirius’ cheek, but his interest positively piqued when Sirius finally placed a bookmark in the book he’d been flipping through and pulled at the collar of his jumper. Remus’ jumper.
“You’re gonna stretch the neck out.” Remus muttered, but dutifully moved across the room to look under Sirius’ Remus’ jumper to see that, laying between the soft fabric of Sirius’ band tee and Remus’ jumper was a small, long-haired calico cat sleeping peacefully with its tail curled protectively around its body and resting gently on its own nose.
Remus made an embarrassing tsking sound at the sweet sight and fought against the urge to shove his hand into the jumper in order to give you some scratches (which would only serve to wake you), opting to press a firm kiss to Sirius’ head instead.
“See? Told ya I had it all under control.”
“You said no such thing, Sirius.”
“Well it should always just be assumed, then.”
Remus shook his head but didn’t bother to argue as he moved to the other side of Sirius’ bed and made himself comfortable. “So much for not being a cat person, hm?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about Moons; I love cats.” Sirius responded haughtily.
“Liar.”
“If I didn’t like cats, why would I have one shoved up my shirt, huh?”
“You don’t like cats, you like her.”
“Correction,” Sirius countered, not unlike one of his snooty little first years during his tutoring session, “I love her.”
“I do too.” Remus agreed with a beaming smile. “I love you.”
“Well I should hope so,” Sirius laughed, “I saved you from a category five over-tired meltdown for looking at her sideways when she complained how tired she was.”
“Did you?”
“Of course not!” Sirius chided with a laugh and swatted him with his now closed book. “I have more tact and grace than you.”
It was Remus’ turn to snort. “Sure.”
“The trick was,” Sirius offered conspiratorily, “telling her I was cold, and asking if she’d cuddle me whilst I read.”
“Devious.”
“Mischevious, some might say.”
With that, a little nose and a set of whiskers poked out from the collar of Sirius’ borrowed jumper to look at Remus expectantly.
“Hey, sweetness.” He offered quietly, holding his hand out which encouraged you to poke out only as far as your neck in order to rub against his fingers; tiny body vibrating with purrs.
Sirius shifted so he was laying on his back, only propped up by the pillows on his bed, and Remus repositioned himself to join him as he laid on his side to watch the two of you.
You left your neck poking out of the jumper, but Remus could see underneath the knitted fabric your little body flatten out again against your boyfriend's chest as you let out a deep, relaxed breath and closed your eyes once more.
“Good job, Pads.” Remus had whispered a few moments later; watching as your shallow feline breaths evened out rhythmically. He’d been so focused on monitoring your breathing he hadn’t realised Sirius’ had evened out too, and Remus was left to close the curtains to the four poster bed and press a kiss to each of your heads - one human, one feline - before turning out the lights.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#wolfstar x reader#wolfstar x you#poly!wolfstar#poly!wolfstar x reader#poly!wolfstar x you#fem!reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#poly!wolfstar fluff#poly!wolfstar blurb#poly!wolfstar imagine#poly!wolfstar drabble#poly!wolfstar fic#poly!wolfstar ficlet#ellecdc fics
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Kronos and the art of trying to figure out standing, walking and modern clothes.
By the time the Justice league and Dark Justice got the cultists into custody. Diana and Zatanna being the only females heroines there at the moment to help Kronos stand on her two legs, help her walk and got a spare Robe to cloths her after making all the male heroes turn around after they both glare at them all, Zatanna magically braid Kronos's hair so it wouldnt dragged onto the dirty floor while Constantine who trying to drink himself into oblivion.
Danny was still completely in curled up baby koala cling in Clockwork's arms, watching with wide eyes, mouth gaping at Clockwork's otherwordly appearance.
"Close your mouth Danny, it's like you never seen me up close before." Kronos said to him while danny shut his mouth before opening it again, whispering a bit.
"You didn't tell me you look so pretty without that purple gown covering your hair." He quietly said, reaching his small hand out and up to pat the moving birthmarks marks of ancient clocks symbols and number shifting and morphing on her warm cheek, feeling the soft puff breath from him, Clockwork was alive and breathing..
Diana glanced a bit at the now two reborned Goddess of time and baby godling looking with wide eyed in pure amazement like at Kronos, even patting her cheek as if to see if she was really there. She, quickly wiped the side of her left eye from the tear forming, steel herself from the inevitable stray thought of godling child demised that obviously happen in Kronos's arms for her to held the child closer to her chest as if to shield him from harm.
Diana will have a lot of questions left unanswered once she sent a letter to her mother about whether the stories of Kronos were warped to the extreme to cover the fact the the God of Time and Space was actually a Goddess due to inequality back then.
First things to do was teach Kronos the modern time of language, women clothes, baby clothes and diapers and keep batman away from her little baby boy who was has the bat-bait of black hair with blue eyes who seemed to had died the same time as his mother by using Superman to distract him with cultists interrogating.
Diana could sympathetic when it come to learning the modern day language back when she used to speak ancient Amazonian and Dead Greek language, and modern bra..
Part 2 << >> Part 4
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp prompt#dcxdp#danny is the ghost king#de aged danny#kronos pateranl instincts turn into maternal instinct#kronos is now a women#Female Kronos#Diana believe Kronos was a women and possibly died tradgy with the way she held her child in a protective manner#Superman is distracting Batman from Kronos and Danny to stop the bat-bait adoption at hand#Zatanna is using magic to braid Kronos's ridiculously long hair into a majestic greek braid until later#misunderstanding troupe
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Ghostfire Shen Yuan loyally following the lonely, undying, forgotten Luo Binghe from the original outline.
They never even met.
Shen Yuan had died long before Luo Binghe’s story was set to start. Abandoned by his System, he was left wandering the realms, searching for anything to latch onto, anything to stave off the darkness encroaching on his consciousness whenever he stopped. He keeps himself entertained with little jokes and references that will never reach anyone. At least back home, there were other people on the opposite side of his screen reacting, seeing. Paying attention.
He never would have thought he’d miss the times he was perceived by others. He’d give anything, though. Anything.
He stumbles upon the protagonist as he’s ascending the stairs of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect for the first time. Dressed in rags and heaving with the effort, Luo Binghe is exactly as Shen Yuan had pictured: a little bun, soft and kind and so very brave.
The excitement wears off soon enough. When the tea ceremony is held, Shen Yuan watches, hopelessly trying to stop the cup from hitting Binghe’s head. He lunges at Shen Jiu; let him be identified and exorcised, at least he would have done something with himself, however useless. It doesn’t work. Of course not—nothing can come between Luo Binghe and his fate.
Shen Yuan thinks about leaving. Many times. But every time he considers the possibility of going back to wandering the world, or just passing on… Well. There’s still a lot to see, isn’t there? It will get better. It will.
Only, it doesn’t. Not really.
There’s no harem; there’s no warm comfort offered to Luo Binghe by a sympathetic beauty, no wedding celebrations, no moments of gentle companionship, however brief, however superficial. There’s no camaraderie with his demon underlings, his generals, his allies; it’s all casual cruelty and dismissals, before it’s violence and subjugation.
There’s no joy. There’s no hope. There’s no ‘better’.
Something is wrong, that’s clear. Something is wrong, and Shen Yuan has no one to blame.
This is not the Proud Immortal Demon Way he knows.
Centuries later, when Luo Binghe begs for the heavens to allow him to die, Shen Yuan hears. When Luo Binghe rages against the passage of time, alone in the wreckage of his palace, left behind by everyone he’d ever known, Shen Yuan accompanies him. When Luo Binghe lies down in the Holy Mausoleum and refuses to get up, Shen Yuan waits, as he had for centuries, until Luo Binghe opens his eyes again and takes to the road.
They end up in a hidden realm so filled with Yin energy that Shen Yuan can channel it to manipulate his form into that of his former body. It’s not detectable by the living, but it’s there. He feels stronger, too. He can walk, float, fly, interact with what few other ghosts they encounter.
Still, Luo Binghe cannot see him.
Luo Binghe doesn’t talk much. Well, that makes sense, he was never in the habit of talking to himself, but still. It’s lonely.
They end up in a town where a diviner takes one look at Luo Binghe and offers him a free reading. Shen Yuan can’t enter her tent, well-warded against foreign entities as it is, so he waits outside.
She tells Luo Binghe of the little hanger-on he’s got. A powerful one, too, though he’s still getting used to his powers. He’s been here for a long time, she says. Since he was a child. He comes from far away—farther than even the most distant star.
Luo Binghe begins talking to him. Shen Yuan isn’t sure why, but he’s not complaining!
Luo Binghe also begins meditating again, trying to soothe the damage done by Xin Mo over the centuries. For every meal, he places a few fruits or snacks across from him on a plate he’d made himself, which he eats only after finishing his own dish. He makes space by his side whenever he walks on a narrow road. He stops at every landmark and tells stories about them, always starting the same way.
“Do you remember when…” becomes Shen Yuan’s favourite phrase.
One night, Luo Binghe sighs and looks across the table. Shen Yuan places himself so that he’s in Luo Binghe’s focus.
“What is it, Binghe?”
Luo Binghe doesn’t answer him, of course. Still, it feels like a conversation, when he says:
“I wish I knew your name.”
Shen Yuan frets. He’s been trying to manipulate the physical world, but he never got the hang of it. He’d tried drawing in sand, with water, just pushing things off shelves. And yet, nothing.
“I’m sorry, I wish—” he tries, but Luo Binghe is already talking again.
“I wonder if we ever crossed paths when you were alive.” He’s expressed this thought more than once. Shen Yuan never likes to think about how they’ve missed each other, how they’d been set up for failure from the start. “I wonder if we would have been friends.”
Shen Yuan scoffs. Of course not. Him and the protagonist? No way.
But—those cold star eyes, blindly searching for him, trying to land on him… They make him want to say, I would have liked that.
He reaches a hand out to touch Luo Binghe’s forehead. He’s taken to doing it whenever Luo Binghe broods, or makes a silly joke Shen Yuan wishes he didn’t find funny. It’s soothing.
He wishes Binghe could feel it.
When his finger touches the demon mark, it blazes. Luo Binghe gasps, that heavy gaze settling on Shen Yuan’s face.
Shen Yuan startles, and jumps away.
“No! Wait!”
Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe is looking around himself, eyes begging for even a wisp of Shen Yuan’s shadow.
He can’t deny Luo Binghe this.
He can’t deny himself this.
He reaches out again. This time, he cups Luo Binghe’s cheeks. When those eyes clear of panic and widen in awe, he whispers, softly, “Shen Yuan. My name is Shen Yuan.”
Luo Binghe looks like he’s been handed a treasure so precious he’s afraid to touch it. He hesitates, raising his hands in careful starts and stops, before taking Shen Yuan’s face in them, gently caressing the soft, cold skin of his face. His eyes dance with the haste he takes in memorising Shen Yuan’s features.
Then, he smiles. Helpless and weak and so, so precious. Shen Yuan has not seen hope so bright in Luo Binghe’s face since that fateful day on Cang Qiong Mountain.
“Hello, Shen Yuan.”
#svsss#svsss fic#luo binghe#bingyuan#shen yuan#bing-xiong#lbx#i DONT know what the fuck this is#im so exhausted. i am not in the right writing mindse#but please. please ponder this with me im begging so much#ignore every spotty grammar instance. im waving the ESL flag like its a shield#luo bing-xiong PLEASE tell me ur secreta#.txt#loyal ghost au
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Trust who? || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader love island au
A/n: during this I was thinking of that one kordell and Serena edit with this song and the beat drop is literally when reader sees the clip of Rafe and the casa amor girl during movie night!!!!!!!! ALSO im so sorry for this to take so long to be posted :/ PART ONE IS HERE
Warnings: just angst
Word count: 2,937
MASTERLIST (love island au masterlist)
The night was heavy with unspoken tension. Movie night, usually a time for lighthearted fun or harmless drama, was anticipated by everyone in the villa. You sat stiffly on one of the large outdoor sofas, flanked by a couple of the girls who were clearly trying to be there for you. The two Casa Amor girls were off to the side, Nakia sitting beside the other girl, her eyes flickering to Rafe every so often, like a lioness watching her prey.
Across on the other lounge were where the boys were sitting. Rafe's face was unreadable—stoic, like a statue—but he hadn't glanced your way yet. The screen flickered to life, and the names of the clips appeared in bold text, each one more unsettling than the last: Temptations and Betrayals, Crying Angel, and The Dark Nakia Rises were only some of them.
“Oh, this is going to be amazing,” you said, your voice heavy with sarcasm, though a hint of venom lingered beneath the surface. The girls around you laughed nervously, their giggles thin and hollow against the weight of the moment. No amount of levity could mask the tension that thickened the air. Nakia shifted in her seat, throwing you a smirk before turning her attention to the screen.
“I’ll pick Crying Angel,” she said, her tone deliberate, as if the title alone wasn’t designed to cut you open. The video played, and there you were, seated in the glam room, your face buried in your hands. The sound of your muffled sobs filled the air, and your voice, shaky and broken, cut through the villa like a blade. “I don’t want to be here anymore,” you admitted through your tears.
“I thought he cared about me. I really did.” One of the girls wrapped an arm around you in the clip, murmuring softly, “You’re stronger than this. Don’t let him break you.” But you shook your head, your anguish palpable. “I stayed loyal to him. I could’ve coupled up. But no, I waited for him because I thought we had something real. And then he walks in with her like I never even mattered. I’m done! I’m so done.”
As the screen went dark, the silence that followed was deafening. The air felt too thick to breathe. A few gasps rippled through the group, and some of the boys shifted uncomfortably in their seats, casting sideways glances at each other before stealing sympathetic looks your way. You sat still, your face a perfect mask of indifference.
Not a single muscle twitched as you kept your gaze fixed ahead, refusing to let them see how deeply those moments of vulnerability still stung. Across the firepit, Rafe was motionless, his jaw clenched so tightly that you could see the tension rippling through his neck. His blue eyes were glued to the now-black screen, his face unreadable but undeniably stricken.
~
When Sofia’s turn came, a flicker of mischief danced in her eyes. She leaned forward, her lips curving into a smirk, and you caught her gaze, exchanging a conspiratorial glance. You straightened slightly, the faintest hint of a smirk playing at your own lips as you braced yourself for what was coming next. “I’ll pick The Dark Nakia Rises,” Sofia said, her voice light with faux innocence.
The group erupted into a mix of cheers and nervous laughter, all eyes shifting to Nakia, whose face had drained of colour. You broke the tension with an almost unnervingly calm tone, delivering your jab with a straight face. “Oh, Nakia. I bet you’re absolutely shitting yourself, babe.” Nakia forced a laugh, her discomfort palpable. “I’m not,” she said weakly, glancing toward Rafe for reassurance.
But he didn’t meet her gaze. His eyes were locked on the firepit, his face a storm of emotions he was trying—and failing—to suppress. The clip began. The sound of the kitchen in Casa Amor filled the room, and Nakia was standing with a few of the other girls. Their voices could be heard in the background as they gossiped, oblivious to the camera that had captured their every word.
"So what do you think of him?" One of them questions Nakia as she smiles, looking over her shoulder to where Rafe was working out. “I mean, I’ve heard about his dad,” she said with a casual shrug, her tone dripping with entitlement. “And I know they’ve got money. Like, serious money.” She leaned back, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, clearly basking in the attention.
“He’s not exactly ugly either, is he? Could be a good setup if I play my cards right.” The other girls laughed, egging her on. “Yeah, but do you even like him?” one of them asked, her tone teasing. “Like him?” she repeated, laughing. “I mean, he’s alright. But come on, this isn’t about feelings. This is about strategy. And if he’s dumb enough to fall for it, that’s on him.” The clip ended, leaving the villa in stunned silence.
The clip ended, and the silence that followed was deafening. No one spoke at first. Your heart sank as you glanced from Rafe, his face pale, his jaw clenched in fury, to Nakia, whose confident smirk had vanished completely. Her face was a mask of panic, eyes darting around as the weight of her words settled over everyone.
You could barely breathe as you stared at her. “Holy fucking shit, dude,” one of the boys muttered, breaking the silence as he turned to Rafe, who hadn’t moved an inch. He was staring at the ground, seething, his fists clenched at his sides. “Nakia, what the actual fuck?” another girl asked, her voice filled with disgust as she turned to face her. The room was heavy with the collective judgment.
Everyone was watching her now, and Nakia could do nothing but stammer, her voice high-pitched and defensive. Your words hit harder than you expected, and Nakia shrank back, her face flushing with embarrassment. “That is so fucked up,” one of the guys added, his tone harsh as he shook his head in disbelief.
Nakia opened her mouth to respond, but her words faltered. She looked on the verge of tears, her confidence completely shattered. The air was thick with tension, and everyone could feel it—Rafe’s rage, your frustration, Nakia’s panic. “You’re really going to sit there like that?” you finally said, your voice steady, but there was a bitter edge to it. “Like you didn’t hear her?”
Rafe’s head snapped up, his expression unreadable. But you could see the storm brewing in his eyes. “Don’t start with me, Y/n,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. You raised an eyebrow, unfazed by his warning. “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I not allowed to call out the fact that this whole thing is a fucking joke to you?” Your voice was sharp, cutting through the stunned silence of the villa.
You gestured towards Nakia without sparing her a glance. “That I’ve been here crying my eyes out, while you’re over there being a pawn in her game?” Nakia stiffened, her face pale. “That was taken out of context!” she stammered, her voice high-pitched and defensive. “I was just joking—” “Oh, you were joking?” you snapped, cutting her off, your voice rising with every word.
“You thought it was funny to admit you’re using him? That his feelings don’t matter to you as long as you get what you want?” You shook your head, your voice dripping with disdain. “That’s not just a joke, Nakia. That’s manipulation. Plain and simple." “That is so fucked up,” one of the guys muttered, breaking the tense silence.
Nakia’s gaze darted around the group, her eyes glassy as though she was on the verge of tears. You let out a dry, bitter laugh and leaned back on the couch, Sofia's hand finding yours. “I just can’t believe I was crying my heart out over this shit,” you muttered, your voice shaky. You leaned back against the cushions, exhaling deeply to steady yourself.
~
“Alright, my turn. Let’s go with Betrayals and Temptations,” One of the boys announced, his tone a mix of excitement and dread. “Of-fucking-course,” you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. You already knew what this clip would show. The title was self-explanatory, and the dread in your stomach only grew as the screen lit up.
The scene began with Rafe and Nakia in the Casa Amor pool. Nakia sat perched on the edge, her legs skimming the surface, her posture relaxed and confident. Rafe stood in the water, gazing up at her like she was the only person in the world. “So, would you say you’re closed off, or…?” Nakia asked, her voice playful as she tilted her head, her eyes sparkling with mischief
Rafe shook his head, a chuckle escaping his lips. “No—no. That would be stupid of me to do that to myself,” he replied casually, his eyes locked on her. “Really? So, am I your type?” she questioned, a coy smile playing on her lips. “Hundred percent, babe. Hundred percent,” Rafe said with a laugh, his hands resting on her knees as he grinned up at her.
The tension between them was palpable as they stared at each other, the moment thick with anticipation. Nakia leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and kissed him. “I can’t get out,” Rafe whispered against her lips, his tone teasing but laced with something deeper.
“Why?” Nakia breathed, her brows knitting together in faux confusion. Rafe chuckled, glancing downward, murmuring something too low for the clip to catch. Nakia’s eyes widened before she burst into laughter, her head falling back. “No fucking way,” she giggled, clearly pleased with herself, as Rafe pulled her closer.
The screen went dark, the villa erupted in hushed murmurs and gasps, but the damage was already done. Your vision blurred as tears welled up, spilling over despite your desperate attempt to keep them in check. Your head spun, the voices around you muffled and distant. “Fuck this,” you muttered, your voice thick with emotion as you shot to your feet and stormed off, your sobs breaking the suffocating silence.
Sofia hurried after you, her heels clicking against the wooden planks as she tried to keep pace. Meanwhile, Rafe sat frozen, his face buried in his hands as he let out a loud, frustrated exhale. “Mate, what the hell were you thinking?” one of the boys hissed at Rafe, his tone laced with disappointment. Rafe didn’t answer immediately.
He sat motionless, his face buried in his hands, his breaths uneven. Finally, he stood abruptly, his chair tipping slightly behind him. “Fuck, I need to talk to her. Right now,” he muttered, his voice thick with frustration and guilt. As he made his way upstairs, the sound of your muffled sobs grew louder, each one hitting him like a blow to the chest.
He hesitated outside the glam room, his hand hovering over the door. Finally, he knocked, his voice tentative. “Y/n, can we talk?” There was a pause, and then the door creaked open to reveal Sofia. Her expression was a mix of anger and disdain as she stepped into the doorway, her voice icy. “She doesn’t need to hear your excuses right now.” She brushed past him, leaving the hallway in silence.
Rafe swallowed hard and stepped inside. You stood near the vanity, your back to him, shoulders trembling. When you finally turned, your tear-streaked face was a mix of heartbreak and fury, your mascara smeared like dark shadows under your reddened eyes. “What can you possibly say to me to make this better?” you demanded, your voice bitter and raw.
You glared at him, your anger barely concealing the hurt threatening to consume you. Rafe faltered, his mouth opening as if to speak, but no words came out. He raked a hand through his hair, his usual confidence replaced with visible unease. “I—” “You what?” you snapped, cutting him off. “You didn’t mean it? You were caught up in the moment? Save it, Rafe. I’ve heard enough lies for one night.”
“I wasn’t thinking,” he finally said, his voice quiet but filled with desperation. “It didn’t mean anything, Y/n. None of it did.” You let out a sharp, humorless laugh, shaking your head. “It didn’t mean anything? You kissed her, Rafe. You flirted with her. You made me look like a fucking idiot in front of everyone.” “I fucked up,” he admitted, his tone softening as he took a step closer.
“I know I did. But I never stopped thinking about you. You’re the one I—” “Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice cracking. “Don’t you dare try to spin this like you cared. If you cared, you wouldn’t have done this. If you cared, you wouldn’t have disrespected me while you had your fun.” The room fell silent except for the sound of your laboured breathing.
Rafe looked at you, his expression filled with regret, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “I think you should leave,” you whispered, turning away from him. Your shoulders sagged, the weight of everything crushing you. Rafe hesitated, his hand twitching as if he wanted to reach out to you, but he didn’t.
Finally, he stepped back toward the door, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry.” The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you alone with the shattered pieces of what once was.
#love island!rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x fem!reader love island au#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#drew starkey x reader#obx fanfiction#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fanfic#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron outer banks#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey x you#drew starkey pics#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey imagine#rafe cameron smut#outer banks x reader#outer banks x you
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Ok, not my kink, don't write this sort of thing ever, but!
I had a dream and the only way to get it out of my head is to write it down so this idea is free to whatever nasty pervert(loving) wants it because I know some of y'all are into this.
(massive tw for faux-cest)
Going to a bar and having some guy hit on you, he's not taking a hint and it's getting a little scary. You lock eyes with the oldest guy in the bar and in a panic you tell the guy that your dad is here, before rushing over to him. Which is a mistake because the closer you get the more you think, God this guy can't be 50, but there's just enough salt in his dark beard that you think maybe, maybe, he'll be sympathetic enough to understand you just needed an out.
You stop in front of him in a rush, all the air leaving your body as he eyes you, up and down, with all the appreciation that shouldn't come from a man playing your father. And it all comes out in a rush:
"I'm so sorry, this is so weird, that guy over there won't leave me alone and I said you were my dad, because I panicked and I just-" You squeeze your eyes shut to get your mouth to stop running, and he's just staring at you when you open them again, "-can you please pretend to be my dad?"
AND GOD if that doesn't turn Price on. Some sick twisted switch in the back of his head turning over as he smiles and tells you "of course" before looping his arm around your waist and pulling you to his side. His nose nudging your hair to scent your shampoo and his big hand spreading its fingers wide over your stomach, dipping under the waistband of your skirt. He turns you so you're hugging him when the guy comes over to shoot his shot again, wedges his thick thigh between yours and forces your hips forward.
He doesn't want any boys "sniffing around his little girl" you learn when he shoos the guy off.
He doesn't let you go even after driving your annoyance away. He all but drags you towards a dark table in the back, insistent that you let him "keep you safe" the rest of the night. You feel like you've jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Going from some college dick to a man who's calling you "sweetheart" and "darling" and introducing you as his "daughter" to his leering friends even as his hand is creeping under your skirt.
#ngl this dream did something to me#he keeps insisting you call him “dad” all night#not “daddy” /“dad”/#cod x reader#x reader#f!reader#tw fauxcest#captain price#captain john price#captain johnathan price#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#captain price cod#john price x reader#john price#price cod#price mw2#price x reader
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Dios mío! | toto wolff x latina! reader x susie wolff !
summary; in which the young single mother of one of jack’s friends catches the attention of toto and susie
warnings; age gap
word count; 1.05k
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minkyungseokie @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote
note; requested ! my fave dilf n milf tbh , my requests are CLOSED ATM!!!
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
“Santiago! Adónde vas?” [where are you going?]
Y/n sighed as she followed the tan, curly-haired boy who just laughed in response. She held onto her bag in one hand and his helmet in the other as she ran after him. She huffed as she noticed other parents stare at her chasing her son around the track.
“Santiago! Ya vas a ver.” [you’ll see]
Santiago finally stops in front of another boy with brown hair. He greeted the young boy and the two immediately started conversing about whatever they usually chatted about.
Y/n finally caught up to her son and was completely out of breath. She bent down and grabbed Santiago’s arm. “Santiago, what did we talk about?”
“Stay by Mamás side.” The curly-haired boy mumbled.
“Exacto!” [exactly]
“But I wanted to see my friend Jack!”
“I know you’re excited, papito, but that doesn’t mean you can run off on your own. I don’t want you getting lost.”
Y/n sighed as she stood back up, finally realizing that Santiago’s friend and his parents were in front of them. Her face started to heat up from embarrassment. She let out a nervous chuckle as she brushed off her jeans. “I’m so sorry about Santiago.”
She finally got to take a closer look at Jack’s parents. They both seemed older compared to Y/n who had Santiago as a teenager. Jack’s father was tall, way taller than her or his mother. He had black frames and a smirk adorning his face.
Jack’s mother was shorter but seemed to have a strong aura. Her hair was short and blonde. The smile she wore matched her husband's. Both combined emitted an aura that Y/n couldn’t help but feel attracted to.
“Oh, please, don’t worry about it.” The blonde exclaims with a laugh. “Jack always talks about him.”
“Where are my manners?” Y/n suddenly gasped as she flattened her baby hairs that escaped from her ponytail. She holds her hand out with a smile, “I’m Y/n, Y/n L/n.”
Jack's mother flashes her a smile before quickly shaking her hand. “Susie.”
Her husband was quick to shake Y/n’s hand after, the smile still evident on his lips. “Toto Wolff. Your son seems amazing, Jack is always talking about his best friend Santiago.”
Y/n lets out a laugh as she gently pats Santiago’s dark curls. “He’s the only one I got here. My family is back home in Latin America, so I always try to raise my boy the best I can.”
Susie nods sympathetically before her head tilts to the side out of curiosity. “And his father? Does he help?”
Y/n let out a disappointed sigh. “Nope. It’s just me and Santi in this world.” She chuckled and shrugged, “It’s better off just us two.” Her confirmation that she was indeed single made the married couple share a glance.
They’ve seen her several times at Jack’s school before while picking up Santiago. They never got a clear look at her until right before one of Jack’s races where her son ran up to their son. She caught their attention immediately, especially with the way she seemed so careful of Santiago.
Toto and Susie had shared multiple knowing looks while the young mother was talking to her son just moments earlier. They were attracted to her no doubt.
“Mamá,” Santiago’s soft voice interrupted them. He stared at Toto with wide eyes. “He’s the team principal of Mercedes.” He thought he was whispering but in fact, he was talking really loud.
His failed attempt at whispering caused Toto to let out a deep laugh, his hand ruffling up the boys’ curls. “Indeed I am, Santiago.”
At the realization, Y/n let out a gasp. She wasn’t into Formula One but he son was. She often spent Sundays making carne asada and watching races with Santiago even if she wasn’t interested. She had only seen Toto and Susie on screen once or twice, but she failed to recognize them until her son mentioned it.
“My abuelo [grandpa] likes Mercedes! He says I'm gonna be like Lewis!” The young boy continued to rant as Y/n watched, furrowing up her eyebrows.
“Dios mío, [my God] I didn’t realize at all.” She sighed with wide eyes. She had an apologetic smile as her hands rested on her son's shoulders. “Sorry, didn’t mean to-“
“Don’t worry about it.” Toto interrupted her, waving his hand around as he turned to Santiago. “When you’re old enough, tell your pretty mamá to give me a call, hm? Maybe you and Jack can be teammates.”
Ar the mention of being teammates with his best friend, Santiago let out a cheer as the youngest Wolff followed him in cheer. The sudden compliment caused Y/n’s cheeks to turn a light shade of pink.
“I-uh-,” She coughed to clear her throat, “We have to go. Gotta make sure Santiago is all prepared before the race, right?” She chuckled, watching the curly-haired boy chat away with Jack.
“Hey, Y/n, wait.” Susie quickly said before the young mother could leave. Y/n hums in response as the blonde glances at her husband and back at her. “Are you busy tonight?”
“After the race? No.” Y/n replied, swinging her bag onto her shoulder. “Was just gonna order takeout for Santi and me. Why?”
“Come over for dinner at ours.” Toto quickly offered. His offer made her raise her eyebrows in shock as their two sons looked up excitedly.
“A gorgeous lady like you shouldn’t be alone. Come by ours, yeah?” Susie said with a smile, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
Y/n couldn’t help but giggle as she nodded in agreement, keeping her eyes on Susie and Toto. “Y-yeah! That sounds amazing.“ She reached into her bag and found a pen and a random piece of paper. She scribbled her number down quickly before handing it to the blonde.
“Just call me. I’ll be there.”
“Oh, we’ll definitely call,” Toto said, another smirk appearing on his lips as he looked over Susie’s shoulder at the paper.
Y/n shared another smile with them before grabbing Santiago. The two quickly said goodbye before walking off to prepare the young boy for his race. In reality, she was also preparing herself for dinner with the attractive older couple she just met at her son's karting race. She mumbled to herself, “Ay Dios mío.” [oh my God]
#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#f1 scenario#formula one scenarios#f1 imagine#formula one imagines#formula one imagine#f1 scenarios#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff imagine#toto wolff scenarios#toto wolff x reader x susie wolff
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