#I think its 4x08

[aelswiths]

For @aadmelioraa and @aethelreds

[whenmemorydies]

White supremacist capitalist patriarchy and season 4 of The Bear

I hear folks who are absolutely pissed that it looks like season 4 of The Bear ended with a petulant Carmy who got knocked off his pedestal, running cos now he doesn't know what to do with himself. I hear the anger. I also viscerally raged as I binge watched last night. For me, a lot of this had to do with the idea that this white man who is so used to being excellent, now has to deal with maybe not being excellent. But instead of dealing, it looks like he's vanishing. Like his dad did. Repeating old patterns.

But on a very rough night's sleep worth of reflection, I've come to the conclusion that this is probably a legerdemain. Let me explain.

Carmy is part of a system - white supremacist capitalist patriarchy to be exact. And that system ascribes roles and expectations on everyone that gets subjected to it. Including white folks. I've talked about Carmy's racialisation here but the TLDR of it is that Carmy is part of the Italian-American community that has been assimilated into whiteness over time in America. As a white man he sits at the top of a racial hieriarchy with a history and current reality of horrendous violence and control. He grew up and worked in cultures that valorised a toxic, violent, white masculinity that expected him to perform excellence, dominate and control everything around him as a result.

The rest of us - particularly racialised women (I'm a non-Black, diasporic woman of colour so I can't speak to Syd's specific experience but I think this holds true for all WOC) - we are never expected to dominate. We are often expected to be excellent because of the time and resources invested in us by our parents and communities and because of white supremacist capitalist patriarchy's insistence that mediocrity is a luxury that only white folks get to enjoy without being penalised. This garbage catch-22 is most starkly articulated by Syd during her nightmare in 4x08 Green:

Syd: And then, you're gonna take a perfect little sliver of chive, put that all on top, and it'll be great. And of course, if your dish fails, its no worry at all, no trouble, really. You'll just be a complete waste of space and a failure and a disappointment to anybody who's devoted any time or energy to you.

So how does a white man like Carmy - who was never socialised to be of service in community, who was raised throughout childhood and his career to smoke others, to prove that he could smoke others ("fuck you, watch this") - how does that white man navigate a world where he's no longer the best? Where he's no longer in control?

If that white man was integrated and mature? Well he wouldn't have been trying to dominate in the first place. But for argument's sake and in this context, if this hypothetical white man was those things - integrated and mature - maybe, he might take a step back and let others lead.

But Carmy isn't integrated. He's not there yet. Realistically, he does have to unlearn a lifetime of abuse, socialisation, racialisation and his own dysfunctional coping strategies so that he doesn't keep hurting people. He does have to figure out who he is without all of this bullshit. Honestly, as infuriating as this was to watch...I get it?

The frustration is that we, the viewers, have seen all the characteristics that Carmy identifies in Syd in that fight from 4x10, in him too. In 4x10, Carmy tells Syd:

You are considerate. You...You allow yourself to feel things, right? You allow yourself to care. You are a natural leader and teacher.

Across this show, we have seen Carmy be considerate of others, most significantly of the BIPOC people in his life (bringing all the crew at The Beef over with him to The Bear, giving his chef's knife to Tina, making Sydney The Bear's captain), we have seen him deeply feel (see Carmy's long overdue confrontation of his abuser, Chef David Fields in 3x10), we have seen him care (see Carmy's incessant checking in with Syd throughout this show), and we've seen him lead and teach his team (see Carmy walking the crew through how to make chicken piccata in season 1).

We know that Carmy is good. We know that he's deserving of Syd's love and that she is more than deserving of his. We know that folks can chew gum and walk at the same fucking time and so we - I mean most definitely me - yell at the TV screen (and on this platform lol): WHAT THE FUCK MAN? GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND BE THERE FOR SYDNEY, THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR HEART!!!!

But Carmy, and a lot of other straight, white men (and white women, quite frankly), probably don't know this about themselves. They probably don't know that its not being a soft shitty bitch when you're considerate of others, that you can feel hurt and pain and survive it, that you can care about others and have that be a strength, and that you can lead quietly and consistently without swinging your dick and trying to smoke motherfuckers.

I mean, America. Look at who the majority of white voters - that's white men and white women - elected to lead your country, for fucks sake.

This is white supremacy culture at work. This is the Berzatto's intergenerational, racialised trauma at work. White supremacist capitalist patriarchy facilitates the conditions for white people to not know themselves in their wholeness. To not know who they are in relation to others and the world. In fact, it invites everyone into this condition (via assimilation). So how do you resist it?

Integration time

How will Carmy fix it? How will he integrate?

Carmy will need to learn about himself. In 4x09 Tonnato, Donna tells him that she doesn't know him and he doesn't know her. This is true.

There is work to be done here in terms of understanding his lineage and the history that makes up Carmy's very skin and bones. But he has already begun doing this: Carmy knowing about tonnato because of his culinary training and imparting that cultural knowledge to his Italian-American mother because she's lost that knowledge or never had it to begin with made me tear up because THIS is the work of integration. Of reclaiming your history. Of resisting assimilation. It fucking hit me in the chest, right in my displaced, diasporic heart.

If Carmy was paying attention, he would have also seen Richie doing this throughout season 2. Recall his basement chat with Carmy in 2x01:

Richie: You know, um, I'm trying really hard to be on board with all this new shit, cousin. I'm, uh, I'm reading a lot. I'm trying to learn about who am I to my history.

Likewise, Sydney spent all of season 2 studying and integrating her past trauma into effective leadership for her team. I know for certain that we are going to learn and see more about Sydney's history in season 5 (if the show gets picked up again) and how this has influenced her professionally and personally.

But then what? What will Carmy do after he's undertaken that work?

This is where Luca's plotline is crucial and not just as a vehicle for us to gush over him and Marcus (which, yes, I gushed. I'm still gushing. They're adorable, supportive of one another and an indecently attractive couple).

Recall the conversation between Luca and Tina in 4x08 Green:

Luca: Pressure.

Tina: How do you get rid of it?

Luca: I think you get to a point where you don't want to. Like, at first the pressure sucks, right? Its the pressure that makes you feel shitty at what you do. And actually, thats just the pressure getting in the way. You learn to live with it. And then, next thing you know, you thrive on it. And before you know it, you can't fucking wait to get rocked. Like, you want that pressure, you need that pressure to be able to perform.

Tina: *looks dubious* (me and you both my Queen lmao)

Luca: So, then, the challenge actually becomes, can you live without that pressure?

Tina: Can you?

Luca: I guess not. 'Cause I'm back here working for Carmy again, so...I'm probably not the person to ask, but you let me know if you find out, Chef.

What Luca is describing, a state of not being able to wait to get rocked? That might be fine every now and then for motivation's sake. But what Luca is describing is a state of mind that folks are expected to be in for the duration of their working lives. He's telling Tina how to survive if she wants to remain working in this system. Wanting to get rocked, learning to live with getting rocked sounds the tagline for any ad selling white supremacist capitalist patriarchy to the masses: With our centuries-old system, you too can learn how to tolerate getting fucked, regularly!

Problem is, we are humans, not replicants (shout out to Richie and Phillip K Dick), and we don't take kindly to being fucked every day of our working lives. The Bear knows this too. Recall Mikey answering Tina's question about whether he likes his work, in 3x06 Napkins: "I definitely do not like never not being fucked."

So the question is, once you become accustomed to this way of life, like Carmy has, like Luca was, like many of us are, can you conceive of a different world? A different way of being?

I know Luca tells Tina in the above convo that he isn't there yet but truthfully, he is. Luca comes back to Chicago to "address things and not run away from things" as he tells Marcus in 4x08 Green. Those things involve his family, namely his sister. He's there to address something to do with his roots. In doing so, he says its made him appreciate the city. He, like Richie, is doing the work of learning about who he is to his history.

To give himself the space to do this, he's come to The Bear to work as a stage - one of the lowest level staff in the hierarchy of a restaurant. This is someone who once worked as a sous at Ever - ranked the best restaurant in the world at one point. He's using the skills he has acquired in the course of his pretty decorated career to support others who have not yet had the same opportunities as him.

Luca is at The Bear, doing the quiet, consistent work I've previously talked about: that work that creates the safe space for inspiration, creativity and dreams to thrive. This is the work of being in community. Luca is in community with Marcus, with Tina, with Gary, with Carmy, with Sydney. He is - without ego - supporting and mentoring Tina and Marcus. Luca is resisting (whether consciously or unconsciously) a white supremacist capitalist patriarchal system that would ordinarily demand that he dominate The Bear's kitchen. In doing so, he's being a good culinary ancestor. Next season, should we get it, it will be Carmy's turn: to come back integrated, sure in himself and without ego, to be there to support (in any way she requires it) Sydney.

And by the way, for the record:

In a world where Black women were the single biggest voting block consistently and overwhelmingly using their generations-long-fought right to vote to protect America from itself fascism in 2016, 2020 and 2024, this statement from Carmy:

[A]ny chance of any kind of good in this building, it started when you walked in. And any possibility of it surviving? Its with you.

….is as much about the salvation of The Original Beef of Chicagoland's soul by Sydney, as it is about the United States of America’s by Black women.

[daltonsnightmare]

I've since started uploading these to youtube with custom captions/subtitles, if anyone is interested! because raise ur hand if you're like me and can't stand the auto generated captions

MacGyver (2016) s4e08 - Father + Son + Father + Matriarch | Cold Open

[love-byers]

stancy + mlvn music coding

this is probably gonna be messy but i will try my hardest to keep it comprehensible

okay so recently i was rewatching the robin/vickie/vickie's bf scene in the gun store (4x08) because i felt like i'd heard the song that plays there before. it reminded me of the song that plays during this scene in 2x01

the song that plays in the s4 scene is actually 2 songs back to back, the first called 'Kids Two' (a variation of 'Kids" from the s1 sound track) and the second called 'Choices', originally from the s2 soundtrack. 'Choices' plays in the scene in 2x08 where dustin apologizes to lucas for lying about dart and suggests max take his place in the party and also says he felt the electricity between lucas and max-- and it leads into the scene where max and mike talk about el, and mike reminds max that she's still not in their party. i find that interesting because no one in that scene says choice, and no one in either scene is making a choice. that name does make sense for the s4 scene, because vickie is torn between her boyfriend and robin, clearly implying she must make a choice. 'Choices' is the song that sounded familiar to me.

the songs aren't exactly the same, but they are definitely similar and the one in s4 is likely an edited version of the one from the stancy scene.

those scenes are obviously parallels, steve sneaks up behind nancy and scares her and they kiss, just like vickie and her bf. then nancy/vickie look at jonathan/robin in a seemingly yearning way. love triangle stuff.

i always figured the song in the stancy scene was an original track from season 2. but turns out it isn't from s2, its from s1. its called 'First Kiss', and, you guessed it, it plays during mike and el's first kiss in 1x08.

i am not lying, go and watch the scenes.

after discovering this, i watched some more stancy scenes to listen for more similarities in the music. and i came across this scene from 1x05, where nancy almost hits steve with her bat and he apologizes to her over dismissing her concern over barb, and nancy gives him a kiss.

i went through the s1 tracklist and even tried shazam-ing the scene, but nothing turned up. i thought it sounded like 'First Kiss', but i wasn't sure if it was my own bias feeding into that. so i went to reddit, where all the people with way too much time on their hands hang out, and asked if anyone knew which ost was playing in that scene. this is what i got back

the reddit gurus agree with me.

as they said, first kiss also plays when mike and el make up in the hospital in 3x05. makes sense, since it's supposed to be their song.

i will also add that the stancy scene in 1x05 is immediately followed by the scene of joyce kicking lonnie out. that speaks for itself. AND, the mlvn scene in 3x05 cuts directly from el smiling at mike to a dead body. take that as you will

so lets recap

'First Kiss', or a section/version of it, has played during

1x05 steve apologizes to nancy 1x08 mike and el kiss 2x01 steve scares nancy and stancy kiss, nancy yearns over jonathan 3x05 mike and el make up via m&ms

2 stancy scenes and 2 mlvn scenes.

hm.

and 'Choices', which i strongly believe is derived from 'First Kiss', plays during

2x08 dustin apologizes to lucas and points out the electricity between lucas and max 2x08 mike and max talk about el 4x08 robin watches vickie and her boyfriend kiss

2 references to a love triangle (dustin,lucas,max & robin,vickie,dan)

and a nod towards mlvn involving max, who in the next season will come between mike and el's relationship.

HM.

im not sure if any of these besides 'Choices' play in s4, but once i do a rewatch i will let you guys know. im pretty sure they don't because i have a weirdly good memory when it comes to my hyperfixations so i think i'd remember it. like i knew the music from the stancy scene in 2x01 just from watching it like four different times since 2017.

all of this coupled with the countless times byler has had music parallels with jancy and lumax, i'm pretty sure this means byler endgame.

if anyone tries to say that it doesn't matter that they reused mike and el's first kiss song for a loveless relationship, i wholeheartedly disagree with you. they make songs that are specifically for one scene and are never played again. for example 'The First Lie', the song that played during jonathan and nancy's first kiss has only played during that scene. never again.

so if mlvn is what the fans say it is, the main couple, the epic love story of stranger things, why can't they just have a song to themselves? jonathan and nancy do. im sure they could've found another song that fit for the stancy/jancy scene in 2x01, knowing the implications it would give if they used it. but nope, they had to use 'First Kiss', which takes place an episode before the stancy scene. 1x08 -> 2x01

one more example, 'On The Bus' is from the s2 soundtrack. it plays once during s2, when lucas and max talk on top of the bus. it doesn't play at all in s3, and then randomly in 4x04, it plays during a byler scene. THAT. HAS. IMPLICATIONS.

take this however you'd like

[gayofthefae]

Extrapolating the full Mike and Nancy scene from that one screenshot: cinematography analysis

Just posted this then realized I have not lived up to it so let's go. We have one and only one to my memory actual camera shot of a potential Byler scene as opposed to a leak (though I could try to decipher from camera position itself for pics from afar).

And I haven't done my job to its fullest. So here we go.

This shot is MIKE'S POV. It is a dirty OTS. I have established that when he turns he looks a bit sad. He is aware of her eyes on him. She looks sad for him, obviously, so we can gather that he is feeling sad about something but trying to hide it from her. In this shot, he is hyper-aware of her being able to see him, which explains him turning away and supports that it is to hide his face and not just for whatever task he is performing off screen.

It is also an OTS shot, but a lingering and silent one. We know that something provoked this is her so it is clearly not the beginning of the scene. New information is gained at the end and withheld or coded to start and she has clearly just learned or realized something. The OTS is pertinent, though, because a shot for non-casual dialogue. Less intimate dialogue is often shot wider - think Steve and Robin in 4x08 talking about Nancy before it shifts to Robin's fears of dying, think Mike and Will between talking about Mike and El's fight and talking about the party's heroism.

There is also something called a "reverse shot" which refers to doing the same shot you just did on person A on their scene partner when you cut to them. Because of how it lingers on her here, I would assume the scene itself is in her POV and it being a dirty OTS shot may speak to Mike's awareness but not his perspective in the overall scene and is more likely just a reverse shot of her previous dirty OTS. I would also assume that based on this visibly being a point of gained knowledge - the value having changed in the scene (this means if you start feeling/knowing one way it's gotta end up something different or you should cut the scene) - this is the end of the scene, this scene for being for the purpose of gained knowledge setting UP a future scene with the purpose of a conversation on it, but those are two separate scenes. If she immediate said what she noticed, there would be no need to focus on her while he's looking away here any more than Will needs to silently pine for Mike in the van scene like he did in the junkyard - a shot you'll notice IS absent in that scene as I just noted because the same information is provided in other ways. THIS seems to be the sole source of the information here. So it is likely the end of the scene.

From that, we can gather that they were already in OTS's and not wide shots, which are the shots most used for one on one dialogue that is meaningful to the characters. They are having a dialogue that is already intimate or important to them, unlikely a simple strategy brainstorm. I didn't feel the need to mention but will anyway as this reminded me: this seems to be only a dialogue with no other participants or witnesses present. Back to the dialogue, though, this actually is different than what I previously thought because looking down makes it look like he's working on something, which would bring a more casual tone to their conversation. But he could have also just now resumed that activity, having stopped to talk seriously. I also might be simply wrong and he's just looking down, not at anything specific.

We also know, though, from my earlier point of Nancy not yet acting on this information that, though Mike is aware of being witnessed, there is no confirmation that he knows she knows etc. The information she gained is unspoken. For example, he didn't slip up and confess his feelings for Will. That would be undeniable. Here, he is able to at least pretend she doesn't know and turn away, continuing with something else, rather than trying to correct the situation in any way. Most importantly in defining this: whatever Nancy just learned - to Mike's awareness (whether he noticed her realization or not), he is still safe. Notable by the fact that his reaction is avoidance, not desperation. At best he is oblivious, at worst he is anxious, but he is not desperate. This is not as high stakes to him as we have seen before when it comes to personal information.

All this information helps us start to put together a scene:

In a scene in Nancy's POV, Mike and Nancy are alone together. They have a serious conversation. In it, Nancy learns something about Mike, but the information is unspoken. She looks at Mike thoughtfully. He seems to be aware she is looking at him. The scene ends without further action on the topic.

[raayllum]

So I always thought it was Interesting that we had this shield in Rex Igneous' hoard in 4x08, because we just don't have that many dragon designs and this one is quite different from the others we've seen before, even after S7. But I've been thinking about the First Elves and the Archdragons and their possible pre and post-Cosmic Order dynamics, and that made something ping here.

First weird thing: eight point star-shape behind the dragon, some of which may or may not also be horns (but are likely iconography rather than physical biology).

We see eight point stars throughout Star iconography in the series, although not as often as the 4-point star. Just having any dragon, let alone an unrecognized one, on a star shape is already notable enough on its own, in some ways, but there's more.

Weird second thing: the front scales on the dragon's brow is very similar shape wise to the First Elves' crown we see the Cosmic Council wear.

You even have the larger, more pointed diamond set over the small one. Third weird thing: the curved horns of the shield dragon on either side of the diamond pattern resemble the more complicated but similar crown that Aaravos wears, both in-show canon and throughout the posters (when he was younger and presumably creating and/or learning from the cube).

We can see that the dragon and shield go together as well, since the tips of the shield are matching to the dragons' horns. The colour scheme is reminiscent of Katolis and Sunfire red-and-gold, though I'd wager it's more likely elvish than human for a plethora of reasons. The fact that dragons' largest brow scale looks elevated in the shield art, looking almost like a gemstone, does not help matters in terms of clarity, even if it makes it even more fun to theorize on.

If I put my full tinfoil hat on, I'd say shield dragon is 1) Aaravos in dragon form (and the shield is human made), or 2) an even older ancient archdragon who heavily inspired / had an authoritative position within the First Elves and creation of the Cosmic Council.

[marie-swriting]

Waste Another Second - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Summary : You have to fight Vecna and you're afraid of dying without confessing your feelings to Robin.

Warnings : set during 4x08 & 4x09, a bit of angst, happy ending.

Word count : 2.7k

French version

Song inspiration : Last Day On Earth by Jade LeMac

In a field, you’re divided into four groups. Dustin and Eddie are having fun together, ignoring the danger that is waiting for them. Erica and Lucas are making makeshift weapons from afar. As for you, you are with Max and Nancy. The latter took her gun and is showing you how to use it. Since you have never held a gun in your hands before, you have a lot to learn. Behind you, a bit away from you, there is Steve and Robin making Molotov cocktails and talking to each other. The tension can be felt while they talk, they are not their chatty selves. They know one another so well, they can feel the other’s fear even if they talk about an unrelated topic to the Upside Down. Finally, Robin decides they should talk about the elephant in the room and nervously expresses her fear.

Time has arrived to get ready to kill Vecna, also known as One. With Nancy, Max, Lucas, Dustin, Eddie, Erica, Steve and Robin, you’re all getting your weapons prepared and making a plan. Anxiety is at its peak and yet, no one talks about it, as if it was a taboo subject.

“Not everything has a happy ending.”

“Yeah, yeah, believe me, I know.” Steve replies, not understanding the double-meaning of Robin’s sentence. 

Robin looks up and she watches you with Max and Nancy who is holding her gun. She is facing your back while you carefully listen to Nancy on how to shoot. She might not see you, but she knows what face you’re making. You’re frowning and biting the inside of your cheek, you do this every time you’re focused. Robin feels a pinch in her heart, thinking about what is waiting for you and to the words she never dared to say out loud.

“I’m not talking about failed romance. I just… I have this terrible, gnawing feeling that…,” Robin starts with hesitation, “it might not work out for us this time.”

“You think we shouldn’t be doing this?” Steve asks.

“I think we’re mad fools, the lot of us, but… if we don’t stop him, who will? We have to try, right?”

“Yeah. To killing Vecna.” He states raising one of the Molotov cocktails. 

“Slash Henry.” Robin adds, doing the same.

“Slash One.” Steve specifies before the two friends clinks the bottle together. “If anything should go wrong, you should probably talk to her instead of staring at her from afar.”

“You’re not gonna start again. I told you my love life is the least of my concerns right now.” Robin sighs, avoiding Steve’s gaze.

“You’ve had a crush on her for years, maybe it’s time to finally say something!”

“She doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“I know you’re oblivious but still! She looks at you the same way you do. Whenever there’s danger, she worries about you.”

“We’re friends, it’s totally normal.”

“I can’t with you. You’re more than just friends and it would have been official for a long time now if you two stopped fearing a rejection that’s never gonna come.” he says, confident.

“You’re not gonna let it go, are you?”

“If it’s the last thing I do, then so be it.”

“What do you want me to say to her, though?” Robin asks after letting go of a frustrated groan. “Did you forget that every time I open my mouth, I just dig myself into a hole? I keep talking when I should just shut up and I’m always saying the wrong things. I can’t find the right words.”

“Speak from the heart.”

“Do you have anything more cheesy?” she exclaims, rolling her eyes.

“Be yourself.” Steve retorts with a fake silly smile. 

“So you do have more cheesy advice.”

“Don’t be afraid of rejection.”

“Look, let’s make a deal. If we make it out alive, I’ll tell her about my feelings and you stop with your damn advice.”

“Deal.”

Steve shakes Robin’s hand as a way to seal the deal. Robin already regrets it. Why did she even make it? She’s surely going to ruin her friendship with you and just because she didn’t know how to shut Steve up. Robin sighs before glancing in your direction; right away, the second you find Robin’s eyes landing on you, you turn your head, pretending to check the gun in your hands.

“I’m tired of you two.” Nancy says once Max left you to go with Lucas and Erica.

“What do you mean?”

“You and Robin. You two are attracted to each other and yet, you just stay here, observing each other from afar. You’re always saying what you think, so I don't get why you still haven't said anything.”

“Because she clearly has feelings for Vicky. She always looks at her with all the love in the world.”

“You’ve got the wrong person. It’s you she looks at that way.”

“I don’t wanna lose her friendship just because I have feelings. I’d rather suffer in silence.” you state, not really convinced.

“You’re right, that’s healthier,” Nancy ironically says. “Y/N, we’re going to fight Vecna shortly and honestly, I don’t even know how it’ll end up. And if I learned one thing with all this Upside Down nonsense, it’s we never know how much time we have left so when there is something you have to tell someone, you do it while you still have time. So stop being afraid and go tell her what you feel.”

After those encouraging words, Nancy takes the gun from your hands and pushes you toward Robin. Reluctantly, you decide to follow what she said. Nervously fidgeting with your hands, you get closer. As soon as you’re in front of Robin and Steve, you take a deep breath before speaking.

“Robin, could I speak to you alone, please?”

“Sure.”

“I’m gonna leave you two,” Steve starts, quickly standing up. “I should probably show Henderson a thing or two to defend himself. I’m gonna let you talk, alone.”

Robin mentally slaps herself because of Steve’s attitude. You want to laugh because of Steve’s excuse but don’t. You stay in front of Robin while she gets up. Behind your back, Robin can see Steve making big gestures, pointing at you and mouthing the words “tell her you like her.” Robin swiftly looks away before dying of mortification.

“What do you want to talk about?” Robin questions, embarrassed.

“Oh, huh… I don’t know how to start,” you reply before breathing in. “I… I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time now, I have feelings for you, Robin. For two years to be precise. As soon as you talked to me the first time, when you told me everything about Dizzy Gillespie when I had simply asked a question about trumpet, I knew I’d like you; I just didn’t know how much. There have been quite a few times where I wanted to tell you, I just always chickened out. You don’t have to answer me or feel like you have to say you feel the same. I know you like Vickie so I know it’s not mutual - that’s actually why I didn’t tell you until now. But we’re literally going on a suicide mission against Vecna, I thought ‘why not tell her?’ If I have to die, I should say what I feel. I just wanted you to know. I’m gonna go now before making things worse.” you finish while Robin stays quiet.

“Y/N, wait!” she holds you back. “I feel the same.”

“What about Vickie?”

“She’s a friend, I don’t like her that way. I always thought you were out of my league, that’s why I never said anything.”

“Really?” You ask, in shock.

“Yeah, really.”

“Does that mean you’d say yes if I asked you on a date when all of this is over?” you propose, avoiding her gaze, fearing a rejection.

“Absolutely.”

“Perfect, then.” you smile, your eyes on Robin again. “Now that we’re officially going on a date together, you better be safe out there.” 

“So should you.”

Despite the promise you made in the middle of the field, you quickly realise staying alive will be more complicated as you discover the Creel house is full of vines. Steve swears under his breath the second he sees the state of the house. Anxiety moves up a rung, however Steve takes a deep breath and enters first, jumping through the vines. Nancy is behind him, though she hasn’t walked through the door yet. As for you and Robin, you’re still set back. Robin suddenly takes your hand, fearing Steve might fall and also that she might walk at the wrong place when it’ll be her turn.

“I’m covering your back. It’s gonna be okay.” you reassure her. 

Words get stuck in Robin’s throat so she only gives you a pinched smile before following Nancy and Steve, not really confident. As soon as Robin has moved a bit forward, you enter the not-so welcoming house. You keep walking upstairs; there, you take your weapons out, a machete for you, an axe for Steve and he also gets Nancy’s gun out of her bag and gives it to her. Suddenly, there is an earthquake in the house and as much as you can, you hold onto each other so you don’t wake Vecna up. Robin closes her eyes while you put your hand on her shoulder, hoping to calm her anxiety down. The minute the earthquake is over, you stop holding each other. You’re about to go to the attic when a vine grabs Robin’s foot and pulls her from behind.

“Robin!” you scream, throwing yourself after her.

Despite your efforts, you can’t catch Robin who ends up stuck on the wall, vines tying her up. With your machete, you try to cut them while they close themselves even more on Robin’s body. Robin calls for help and quickly, Steve and Nancy come to Robin’s rescue. Nancy hits the vines with her gun and Steve uses his axe. However, his axe is taken out of his hand before you know it and then he gets tied up on the other wall. Nancy runs to him, trying to free Steve while you’re focused on Robin. Unfortunately, you can only give a few more hits before being violently pulled to the side. You find yourself on the same wall as Robin, next to her, fear paralysing you. Nancy is the last person standing, not for long, though. Another vine goes to her feet, making her fall and dropping her gun. She tries to take it again, but she finds herself stuck on the wall, next to Steve. 

Vines tightens around your neck, preventing you from breathing. Tears are rolling down your cheeks as you feel death coming. With your last strength, you turn your head on the right side and find Robin completely terrified. You can’t believe it’s the end when you’re still young, you haven’t done everything you wanted, especially with Robin. You think about your parents who you love, despite the conflicts you may have. All your regrets come in full force; everything you should have said, all the times you should have apologized. You wish you had more time. It cannot end like this. Your life can’t end in the Upside Down, your regrets killing you as much as Vecna. 

After what seems like forever, you feel the grip around your neck loosing. You can finally take a deep breath while you fall on the ground, your friends following you. You see the vines backing up while you cough, trying to breathe normally again.

“I don’t believe in a higher power or divine intervention but that was a miracle.” Robin states.

“Then we better not waste it.” Nancy retorts furiously once she’s on her feet, cocking her guns.

“Phase four.” Steve adds.

“Flambé.” you reply.

Finally in the attic, you face Vecna who is levitating while all the vines are connected to his body. Robin puts her bag down and with Steve, you take the Molotov cocktails. Steve throws the first one, waking Vecna up. As One is getting closer, you throw the second one and finally, Robin throws hers. Vecna is on fire, though it doesn’t seem like that’s stopping him from walking. Nancy takes one step forward, a menacing expression on her face, gun in hands and shoots him several times until he falls through the window.

Vecna has officially been defeated but at what cost? There has been an earthquake in town and it was so violent that the ground fell apart, Max is in the hospital between life and death, Eddie is dead, Dustin and Lucas are traumatised as they lost a loved one in front of them and the rest of the group is no better. Even Mike, Eleven, Will and Jonathan didn’t come out of it unscathed without even being in Hawkins. 

This time, the weight of fighting the Upside Down is unbearable. You have already been close to death, however, it’s nothing compared to what just happened. And the worst part is there is still this anxiety that Vecna’s vanishment is only the calm before the storm. Sure, you beat him, but is it really over now? Are you finally safe? No matter the answer, the stress related to all these events aren’t leaving you anytime soon.

Every second linked to this awful story is still in your head. You’re still traumatised about what happened at the Creel house where you almost died. You can’t help but think that at any given moment, you could have died in the Upside Down and your parents would have never known about it, you would have never gone on a date with Robin, you wouldn’t be driving her home right now. Now more than ever, you’re aware of how precious every second is.

The drive to Robin’s home is silent. As soon as you are at her place, you take a deep breath before blurting out:

“Be my girlfriend.”

“What?”

“Sorry, that was too straightforward,” you apologize, closing your eyes for a second. “Let me start again. I like you a lot, Robin, like really and if there is one thing I understood from all of this is that I don’t want to die with any regrets. I don’t want to look back on my high school years and tell myself I should have done this or I shouldn’t have done that, that I let my fears stopped me from doing what I wanted. I fully want to live. I know you agreed to go on a date with me and honestly, it’s more than I was hoping for, though I’d love to call you my girlfriend. At first, I wanted to have a romantic date and by the end of it, I would have asked you to be my girlfriend, but we still haven’t settled on a day yet and even if we had, it wouldn’t be soon enough. I know what I feel for you and I want to be with you, so, if that’s what you want, too, I’d love for us to officially be together.” you finish, catching your breath. “Obviously, if it’s too soon for you and you want to take baby steps, then that’s what we’ll do. Don’t feel like you have to-”

You don’t have the time to end your sentence when Robin’s lips crash into yours. You put your hands on her hips, deepening the kiss while hers are on your cheeks. You kiss for a few seconds and nothing else exists. No more Vecna, Upside Down, pressure, fear. Nothing. Just you and Robin kissing each other in your car.

Robin breaks the kiss and smiles at you while her cheeks take a light shade of pink.

“I didn’t know what to say.” She softly admits.

“That’s rare coming from you, but I love knowing I have this effect on you. Though I hope you’ll keep talking my ears off.”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend. I don’t want to waste another second without being with you.”

Stranger Things Masterlist

Glad to know the feeling is mutual, you lovingly look at her, your right hand moves from her hip to her cheek, slowly stroking it before bringing her face back to yours and kissing Robin again.

[flythesail]

Okay what if—

It all has to be connected somehow, right?

The black door/sin eater

The ghost

Nace

With the black door, 4x10 established a few things: The sin eater is reincarnated and Nancy has past lives too. Going off this, the assumption is Nancy is the other half of the sin eater.

With the ghost, we know she died. Obviously. We are meant to think there was fire involved since there is a body that's burned at the morgue. We also have heard lines from her such as: hair wrapping around my mouth, the sky was gone, I was so cold.

Hearing those lines, I don't think the body is hers. It's not a coincidence that she arrived at the same time as the burned body either. More on this later.

With nace, whatever happened the night of 4x08 impacted their feelings. Here's my thought: Nancy was not even at the scene of the event. This explains the small window of time. Instead, Ace calls her panicked. Nancy agrees to go to the door. She'd do anything for him, including using the black door. She does it because she loves him. Because her love is why she does it, the black door alters their love. This is why they've felt ooc since.

Back to what we do know about the event:

Ace and Thom go fishing

Their captain canceled

The EMT who brought the burned body to the morgue is out of town on vacation

His partner was out sick then

How do these things connect? Windows place the flash Nancy saw of her sin with Thom and Ace on the boat. See here:

The assumption then, is this is where the body was burned. So who is that in the flames? Let's say it's their captain.

Their captain is innocent in this. But where does the fire come from?

Ace brings the pickled curse onto the boat. Something could have gone wrong with that. Yet, the curse is linked to hearing the dead. Initially, it would seem that's how Ace is able to communicate with the ghost. Yet Nancy was able to as well.

What else did we learn in 4x11? Callie of the families for truth and history knows plenty about the supernatural. She's the sin eater's minder. Two things to note:

"Her family was tasked with protecting every generation of sin eater. Erasing history since 1805."

"If you ever try to break the sin eater's legacy the way the Glasses did tonight, I'll come for you without mercy."

Now, who sent someone to watch Bess throughout 4x08?

Callie.

With this, the pickled curse becomes significant not because of what it is - but for who was in the background of this whole ordeal.

Callie was having a guy watch Bess. At the historical society with the brothers, all the way to the claw. This means Callie is never more than a step away from anything supernatural going on in this town.

If she's the sin eater's minder, does she know there is another half to the sin eater? I would think she does as her family has been doing this since its creation.

So, Nancy is the other half of the sin eater. Is someone watching over her too?

From what we know so far, no one is. What if there is a reason?

The founders didn't want there to be a balance to the sin eater. All they cared about was erasing their sins.

Yet there's always going to be two halves. Like with the dolls used for curse breaking in 4x03. Or this in 4x11, a conversation between Nick and Ted:

"I was looking for the afikomen. It's the hidden piece of matzo.... Broken in two at the beginning of the night, put back together at the end."

What if the founders broke the sin eater from its half? They killed her. She drowned.

Who else might have drowned?

The ghost.

It's exactly the sort of death she is describing. Hair wrapping around her mouth, the sky gone as she can't tell water from sky. The water is cold.

The ghost is much much older than she seems.

After killing her, the founders turned her into the masthead now at the yacht club. This way, they could call to the sin eater whenever they needed while keeping her from fulfilling her purpose.

Although she was killed, her soul has still reincarnated. But whoever holds her soul, has not known their purpose for a very long time. It's not like with the sin eater, where Tristan has no choice to transform into it and eat the sins.

Truth is a choice. She is the angel of truth.

So if the angel of truth hasn't been around for generations, what brings her back? Nancy and the angel of truth come face to face that night at the yacht club.

This awakens her because Nancy is the current holder of her soul. Only, she doesn't remember much. She remembers her death. She remembers drowning.

But her spirit is free.

The way the ghost is dressed in white even reminds of me of an angel. An angel is the opposite of the sin eater. A representation of truth in opposition to lies.

How does the ghost find her way to Ace? Well, Ace was at the yacht club with Nancy when she woke up.

Who is Nancy very connected to? Ace.

Who did Nancy get her soul from? The angel of truth, aka the ghost.

So the ghost is drawn to Ace. She's just woken up after over a century too, so she's going to respond to this pull. She's not drawn to Nancy because she and Nancy are the same. This isn't the case with Nancy and Ace.

Just like two halves of matzo, or like the sin eater and the angel, Ace and Nancy make a whole.

Ace goes off on his fishing trip with Thom, with the ghost following. Callie knows something is wrong. Her family has been watching the sin eater for as long as its existed. She's alerted, like how Hannah knew Temperance was back in Horseshoe Bay at the end of 2x18. Or like how they can track the sin eater with the roundel.

Rememeber: "If you ever try to break the sin eater's legacy the way the Glasses did tonight, I'll come for you without mercy."

So Callie says no way am I letting the angel of truth return and heads out to solve this problem. Her actions set their boat on fire.

This is where the burned body comes from. It's their captain.

Ace and Thom are able to get away. In the chaos during the confrontation with Callie, however, the ghost's presence is revealed and more is explained.

Ace learns who the ghost is, realizes what this suggests about Nancy with the timing, and realizes he needs to make a phone call.

Ace calls Nancy in an exteme panic, telling her to go to the black door and confess what they did earlier that night: breaking into the yacht club. It's the only way to ensure Callie doesn't go after Nancy next.

Nancy doesn't question him because she trusts him and she loves him.

She goes right to the black door and confesses what needs to be confessed.

This puts everything back in place:

Ace and Thom believe their boat captain canceled. (No one is around to prove otherwise. The EMT is on vacation and believes the same.)

Ace believes he had a nice fishing trip with Thom and shares this with Nancy.

The ghost is once again struggling to remember who she is. But she's still drawn to Ace, in the way Nancy is.

Only, something is wrong now.

Nancy went to the black door not because of her sin, but because she loves Ace.

It doesn't matter that the confession was only about breaking into the yacht club. The black door alters their love.

While Ace remembers a nice fishing trip, Nancy and Ace forget the love they have for each other. What they're left with is some semblance of a relationship. They're exes, it was complicated, they didn't communicate well. In summary, it didn't end well.

So Nancy and Ace are forced apart, and drift closer to someone new.

Nancy becomes closer to Tristan. She's the angel of truth in this lifetime, so she is feeling that two hundred year connection.

Ace becomes closer to the ghost. She is the first reincarnation of Nancy's soul, so he is feeling that connection the black door altered but is still impossible to destroy.

Where do we go from here? Now that Nancy and Ace know their memories are altered, they're going to solve this mystery. Nancy had already seen a flash of the fire and of the truth her confession erased.

They will get their memories back, feel their love for each other again, share a moment of the most intense eye contact you've ever seen, and be left with a Big Problem.

They've figured out who the ghost is. They know who Nancy is.

In knowing who she is and the purpose she serves, Nancy is in danger again because of Callie.

So their options are this: she risks her life to save the town from what the founders set in motion or she forgets all over again.

Nancy is going to make the choice to risk her life. To save her town and her friends and every person she loves. That is who Nancy is and has been all her life, even before she knew who she is.

Of course, she succeeds and Tristan will play a role in this too - being the other half to this. Lies and truth, evil and good, dark and light. Might I add: the finale is called the Light Between Lives? Lives is significant in a season with reincarnation.

When balance is restored to Horseshoe Bay, Nancy and Tristan's roles will no longer be needed. The black door is gone and Callie is exposed for who she is. They can live normal lives. Tristan can live a healthy, long life.

Nancy and Ace are still cursed though, so Nancy can't live the life she wants. (Yet.)

With balance restored, truth will prevail. The truth is that Nancy and Ace love each other. Nancy and Ace's love is stronger than this curse Temperance created. That's how they break it. Nancy Drew has always been about love.

Two halves are put back together, and Nancy and Ace get to live their lives as a whole.

[hellerfanboy91]

Edvard's Supernatural Guide 4x21 When the Levee Breaks

Spoilers for the end of Game of Thrones and Supernatural up to 15x09 The Trap

With the end of series four fast approaching, it feels as though most of the plot of this series has happened in the background. Almost all of the necessary seals have been broken by Lilith et al, but neither the characters nor the audience has been privy to this because it has all happened off-screen. Angels and demons have apparently been skirmishing all over the globe, and we know this because of one line of dialogue from Cas somewhere earlier in this series. Given the importance of all these events, it would have shown prudence for The Show to actually show us some of this conflict between the angels and demons as well as between Dean, Sam, and Lilith. Instead, it presented the viewer with a handful of salient episodes accompanied by a lot of filler. Ignoring character moments such as Dean's hell-trauma in 4x10 Heaven and Hell, how have the plots of episodes such as 4x12 Chris Angel is a Douchebag, 4x08 Wishful Thinking, or 4x13 After School Special advanced either the story or the plot? Not every episode of a show like this can be plot-heavy, and in Supernatural's defence its plot is spread slightly less thin than that of The X-Files, but even in Buffy and Angel which had a lot of filler episodes, something in each episode usually bore some relevance to either the plot (the sequence of events that takes the characters from the beginning to the end of the story) or the story (how the characters change from the beginning to the end). Most episodes moved the story and/or plot forwards in some way, and I never thought either Buffy or Angel wasted many episodes. This unfortunately leaves me with the conviction that Supernatural could have been a lot more than it is. In the case of series four, this would not have required a drastic change. Instead of the monsters of the week being random, they could each have been a different seal the brothers had to prevent Lilith and her gang breaking. The episodes could still have been largely the same, but with more direction in a focussed narrative as opposed to the important parts being dotted here and there before a final rush to the end in the final few episodes.

That is not to say that nothing which has happened in series four is relevant to the ending. Sam drinking demon blood was of course a major subplot throughout leading on from his working with Ruby in series three. The demon blood itself is not a vital aspect of the actual Apocalypse, as the beginning of series five makes it abundantly clear that Sam is Lucifer's vessel: the demon blood is secondary, its significance mostly ending with the death of Lilith. Even then, was it necessary that Sam kill Ruby using his psychic powers? Was there no other way? All remnant of psychic powers and addiction blood are removed from Sam in 5x01 Lucifer Rising as clearly Kripke had got bored of them, but taking a step back reminds me that all of this is God writing a story to work through his own issues.

Dean and Sam are characters in God's books doomed to repeat the story of Cain and Abel (Dean is Abel, whatever The Show says). Cain and Abel are themselves a mirror of God and his betrayal of Amara/The Darkness, his sister whom he turned on and imprisoned. Lucifer turning to the dark side in the Superverse is a result of him bearing the lock to Amara's prison, i.e. the Mark of Cain, so named because Lucifer passed it onto Cain before Cain murdered his brother. In short, God is driving Dean and Sam apart in order to manufacture a situation where one has to kill the other. To that end, even if the demon blood were not a vital part of ushering in the end-times, it functions to cause a schism between Dean and Sam, i.e. it might simply be there for the drama.

This being the case, neither Dean nor Sam is ultimately responsible for their actions, in the same way one could argue that Helen and Paris were not responsible for causing the Trojan War: everything that happened happened because of the gods and fate; humans were just pawns.

This episode begins with Sam in Bobby's panic room where Dean and Bobby trapped him at the end of the previous episode. It is not mentioned how much time has passed, but be it five minutes or five hours, Sam is not happy. Understandably so. I am sure he feels betrayed, and probably that Dean and Bobby are preventing him do what is necessary to stop the Apocalypse. He also refuses to acknowledge the possibility he might actually be doing something deserving of being locked in the panic room, at least at first. Later some of his doubts and insecurities begin to surface, only to be submerged beneath his addiction.

Sam is lit in red in the cold open, a clear indicator of danger and a colour associated with Ruby beginning with 4x01 Lazarus Rising, whereas Dean is in darkness. It is a shame it took so long for this to happen, but Dean finally gets to call Sam out for lying to him, as well as calling him weak, desperate, and pathetic.

Sam of course rejects all accountability because he is an addict who at the moment is incapable of properly acknowledging his addiction, much less the damage it is doing to himself and others. Having personal experience of somebody like this, I can recognise it immediately, as well as his turning the tables on Dean to try to make him out to be the problem in this situation. Dean's 'self-righteousness' is seriously not the issue, Sam, but this is a nice attempt at deflection. Anything to avoid taking criticism on board. An intervention would never work with somebody in Sam's position.

Dean soon gives up on trying to get through to Sam and shuts the view port, completely ignoring Sam's increasingly angry and distressed calls to let him out. It is not until Dean is at the top of the stairs that he stops with a pensive look on his face. But more on Dean later: do let us return downstairs to the panic room where Sam is being visited by the ghost of Christmas Past in the form of Alice Tear. These apparitions are not actually the people they appear to be, but aspects of Sam's subconscious manifesting themselves as people from his life in order to chide or encourage him. Quite why Alice Tear appears to Sam is not explained, nor why he should be the first visitation, but before Sam knows it he is strapped to a torture table like Ruby was in 4x10 Heaven and Hell. Alice Tear tortures Sam a little but it is soon revealed to be a hallucination and Sam is physically fine.

Sam also appears as if strapped to a crucifix, similar to the end of 4x19 Jump the Shark. Some have jumped on this to claim that Sam is a Jesus figure, but I think it takes more than a little bit of imagery to be a Jesus figure. In what ways do Sam's personality or story arc mirror Jesus? A man taking on a burden he never wanted, perhaps, but Sam's motives are self-centred whereas Jesus's were other-centred, or selfless. Dean's sacrifice of himself for Sam, his descent to Hell, and his rebirth mirror Jesus more, but I cannot see anything in Sam which really warrants a comparison with the Riz.

Whatever the case, the torture was imagined as Sam is revealed to be quite whole. His hallucinations and visitations continue. 'Mary' tells Sam exactly what Sam would want to hear in that situation, i.e. that Sam is on the right path, and that Sam is strong while Dean is weak. What precisely is meant by 'Dean is weak' is uncertain: unless Sam is high on demon blood, dean can best him in a fight, and Dean is a far more accomplished and proficient hunter. Is the weakness therefore a weakness of character, i.e. that Dean is not willing to drink blood from Ruby's dead vessel to 'save the world'?

Contrary to the part of Sam's subconscious masquerading as Mary, the part masquerading as Dean calls Sam a monster and says that he always was one. Not that he is becoming a monster, but that Sam has been a monster ever since Azazel bled into his mouth. This reflects perhaps what Sam believes Dean thinks of him, or what Sam thinks of himself. He has made several references to thinking of himself as a freak throughout the show, and that he could never fit in because he was a freak. His behaviour has rarely reflected this in my opinion, meaning this is more 'tell' than 'show'. One of the reasons his angry outburst at Dean in 4x04 Metamorphosis was that Sam did not like Dean looking at him as if he were a freak etc... but this was a red herring.

In his brief conversation with poco!Sam, Sam expresses a defeatist, attitude in response to his younger self's chastisement of him for drinking demon blood and becoming what he has become. After picking myself up off the floor after Sam's 'Life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would when you're fourteen years old' line, I noticed his 'we were never going to be normal, we were never going to get away' line. On the one hand this is true, but on the other hand it sounds like a post-hoc justification. He does not want to stop drinking demon blood, but also does not believe (or want to believe) he can. Therefore he makes himself a victim of circumstance and surrenders his agency.

In her review, Paula discussed the idea that Sam used to be an important cosmic figure with a special destiny and special powers. He can also perhaps be seen as something of a false prophet, since his visions etc came from Azazel whereas real prophets' visions come from God. For Sam to then be stripped of that after Azazel's death, and for Dean to later be raised to a position of even greater cosmic importance must have stung pretty badly. While it would be disingenuous to claim his addiction is entirely rooted in wanting to be important, a good case can be made for it being an considerable factor in all this. 'Dean' even says as much during one of Sam's hallucinations: Dean was supposed to stop the apocalypse, not Sam: Sam wanted to steal Dean's thunder. This is as good as confirmed in Dean and Sam's argument before their fight at the end of the episode, which is discussed near the end of this analysis.

Just before Dean and Sam's fight later in the episode, Sam says things to the effect of wanting Dean to believe in him and trust him. Sam wants to feel important and special. Getting this validation from Dean is especially important to him as Dean has been the only constant in his life.

In spite of that, poco!Sam claims that if Sam had not gone off with Dean, Jess might still be alive, at which point I get the song Put the Blame on Mame stuck in my head. That song should be Dean's theme tune in this show, because apparently he is also to blame for Jess's death.

Perhaps more understandably, Sam also tries to use Jess's death as a justification for what he is doing now, but more understandable thought it may be, it is another post-hoc justification. It is also irrelevant: Azazel's death was vengeance for Jess, as well as for Mary and John. Lilith had nothing to do with any of that.

While all this is happening in the panic room, Dean and Bobby are upstairs discussing Sam. This seems to be an unpopular opinion, but Bobby's grouchiness grates on me very quickly. In small doses it can be amusing, but mostly it comes across as him acting like a cunny-hole because he likes making other people feel stupid. Knowing what is coming next episode as well as 5x18 Point of No Return has perhaps soured my perception of him, but even my flatmate who was a big fan of Bobby early got tired of him before this point. He just acts bitchy for no reason, as if the writers could not think of another personality trait for him. It also seems rather inappropriate and unnatural in the situation: Dean is worried about Sam and wonders how long it might take for Sam to detox, to which Bobby's response is a pissy 'Oh, let me just check. Wait, I can't, because nobody's ever done this before'. This was funny in A Bug's Life, but here a simple 'I dunno, nobody's ever done this before' would have sufficed.

On the other hand, the grouchiness and bitchiness here is likely an expression of his own anxiety, but still. Calm your tits, Robert. That said, Bobby and Rufus's dynamic does amuse me greatly and it is a shame so little of it is on the show. Two ageing men snapping at each other like an old married couple sounds delightful, a bit like Bobby and old!Dean in 5x07 The Curious Case of Dean Winchester.

The most important parts of Bobby and Dean's conversations is their disagreement on what to do with Sam. Dean wants Sam to remain in the panic room until he recovers, whereas Bobby believes Sam could be a useful weapon in stopping the Apocalypse. Dean is dead set against this, preferring that Sam die as a human than survive as a monster (a decision Dean also made for himself in 3x15 Time is on My Side).

At first, it might seem like a good idea to use Sam as a weapon. After all, when he is at full power, he is currently the most powerful of the three, and perhaps rivals Cas in certain aspects. However, a second's thought reveals that this is actually very far from an idea of the good variety: Sam is being manipulated by a demon, and could just as easily turn his powers on the good guys. Besides, what would they believe would happen if Sam were to kill Lilith and stop the Apocalypse? Sam would still be at large and addicted to demon blood, having become the thing Azazel sought to make him. It would be like the ending of Game of Thrones: the Night King's dead, but now you have to deal with Dany.

Hindsight is 20-20, or so goes the saying, but surely an experienced hunter like Bobby should be more than hesitant to set a loose cannon like Sam free. Hindsight proves Dean to be right, as the first thing Sam did after Cas opened the door to the panic room was knock Bobby out with the butt of the rifle.

And what have I said many times in these analyses? A blow to the head strong enough to cause unconsciousness is strong enough to kill or cause serious brain damage. In the real world, Sam could have killed Bobby in this episode, proving him wrong and Dean right. I am starting to wonder whether Cassandra was a little relieved when Clytemnestra killed her.

This of course happens roughly halfway through the episode. Before that, Bobby somehow seems to switch from not having any idea about demonic detox to being sure it will kill Sam. How this happened is beyond me, but Bobby conveniently thinks what the plot wants him to think in this episode. I understand that Sam screaming and being tossed around the room is frightening and highly-concerning, but how did Bobby conclude that it would kill him? Part of the reason 'going cold turkey' is so difficult is because of the serious withdrawal symptoms: the body is used to functioning with a certain chemical present, and the sudden absence of that chemical causes serious disarray including physical and mental distress and illness. Withdrawal from certain drugs and medicines can be deadly, but how did Bobby come to the conclusion that 'cold turkey' (I am so sick of that phrase) was not working? What was his basis for that conclusion? Nobody has done demon detox before, how does he know?! And even if it were killing him, at least he would die human...

A sudden lull in the screaming and shouting panics Bobby and Dean, whereupon they run downstairs to find Sam getting tossed about like a ragdoll. Bobby and Dean have to restrain him and fasten him to the bed, and Paula commented on the unlikelihood of two men being enough to restrain a big man like Sam who was flailing around that much, especially when one of the men is around sixty years of age.

Bobby and Dean cannot agree on what to do with Sam. Perhaps it is partly for this reason that Dean tries to call Cas for help, though Cas left Dean shouting for him for two hours.

In the scene outside in Bobby's scrapyard, Cas is still acting the same as at the end of 4x20 The Rapture, the result of being sent to Heaven's Gulag for reëducation. In this scene, there is little left of the friendship which was developing between Dean and Cas, and Cas's behaviour is very different from that of the angel who defied orders and helped Dean defeat Lilith in 4x18 The Monster at the End of This Book. Instead, Cas uses the scene as an opportunity to essentially groom Dean into being Michael's vessel by getting him to swear allegiance and obedience to Heaven.

This is also the scene where Dean and Cas stare at each other for a very long time while the crane shot tracks up. There is no need for the two of them to stare at each other, yet they do anyway. A few weeks before writing this analysis, I watched this episode with a friend who is not especially a fan of the show. When watching this scene, she said apropos of nothing 'Oh, just kiss.'

Cas is obedient to Heaven in this episode, including later when he betrays Anna, yet his facial expression when Anna is taken away indicates he is not mindlessly obeying: he is obeying against his wishes, or because he has to. He perhaps knows that what he is doing is bad, but has to do it anyway.

That said, the fact it was him who freed Sam from the panic room and thereby almost got Bobby and Dean killed by proxy in this episode is never brought up and Cas is never held accountable for his actions. This is one of the reasons I can never quite actively like Cas: he does bad things but is often not held accountable. He rarely learns from his mistakes but often repeats pretty much the same mistake, i.e. working with dubious individuals behind Dean and Sam's backs and getting people hurt or killed. He also shifts the blame for his own behaviour onto others, mostly Dean (see 15x03 Rupture, for example). In this regard he resembles Sam, but the difference between Cas and Sam is that Cas does not act out of hostility. Rather Cas is absolutely clueless about how responsibility and accountability are supposed to work. The problem is that the show never makes Cas grow out of this. His and Dean's 'divorce' in series fifteen was the perfect time for Cas to begin understanding his own culpability and agency, and that Dean is not responsible for the choices Cas makes.

The writers, however, did not force Cas down this path, but kept him as poor innocent wide-eyed Cas bullied and mistreated by anger-issues Dean. All the responsibility for the divorce arc was laid at Dean's feet: Dean, as always, ended up blaming himself, but Cas let him. This did Cas a huge disservice as a character and kept him stuck as an adolescent. Whether Cas actively intended to make Dean believe he was entirely to blame for their fall-out is debatable, but he certainly did nothing to shoulder his hefty portion of the blame. Dean was allowed to think he and his justified anger at Cas's years of stupidity were the problems, not Cas's secrets, lies, and rash behaviour which ended up with dead friends and relatives. This is mistreatment, though it stops short of active gaslighting.

I have much more time for Cas than Sam due to the fact Cas's bad behaviour is not acrimonious. It is mostly simple stupidity, naïvité, and ignorance. It should also come as no surprise to readers that I ship Dean and Cas, but I do not see them as a perfect couple. They are both severely damaged and Cas especially would need to work on himself a lot in order to avoid 'Destiel' becoming a reflection of Dean and Sam's relationship. I ship them because I see that Cas is in love with Dean from at least series six and Dean felt similarly shortly thereafter (keeping his coat in the boot, anyone? Purgatory? 13x05 Advanced Thanatology? The market research?) but they are not teenagers in a John Green novel. They are adult men with adult men problems which they need to work on as adult men. Maybe one day they could be a healthy, functioning couple, but the fact they love and eventually are in love with each other is not enough.

Long story short: Cas was not held accountable for his actions, and this prevented his growth.

Dean on the other hand is blamed for everything. He does bad things (usually with the best intentions, e.g. Ezekiel/Gadriel), but both he and the show hold him accountable. He and the show linger on his mistakes, which means the audience remembers his mistakes more readily than Sam's or Cas's.

Moving on, after Cas secretly lets Sam out, Sam rushes off to a honeymoon suite in a hotel, and soon thereafter Ruby the Bitch-Skank arrives and ruins the entire next fifteen minutes. The sequence which follows Ruby's arrival up until the end of the episode is the reason why Paula's review begins with this being where Sam jumped the shark. 'Jump the shark' means that something utterly stupid happens in a show which marks the event horizon in a decline in quality which the show never recovers from. Applied to Sam, this would mean that his actions in this sequence destroyed any likeability or relatability he might have had, and hereafter he was irredeemable.

Paula wrote her review around the time series eight was airing, and as yet Sam had made no attempt to truly apologise or show contrition for almost murdering his brother in cold blood. The final episode of series eight has Sam try to sacrifice himself to close Heaven and Hell, and includes an apology to Dean for lying to him and betraying him with Ruby. Had this signalled a fundamental change in Sam after which he showed he had learnt from his mistakes and became a better person, I would have to disagree with Paula's assertion than Sam jumped the shark here. But the how has now ended, and barring possible continuations in the future, Sam has never recovered from this.

Ruby appears in the hotel room with a made-up story about how she had been deep undercover looking for Lilith for the last three weeks and was not checking her messages. Anybody with a pulse should have been able to see that for the lying lie it was, and Ruby's absence was part of a ploy to show Sam how much he needs her. Sam soon drinks some of Ruby's blood and then they presumably have coitus. Afterwards, Ruby talks about how only a tiny number of seals remain unbroken (while also talking about recently broken seals which remind me of the film Cabin in the Woods). She also gives Lilith's origin story, she being the first demon Lucifer made because Lucifer in the Superverse is a petty bish.

Apropos Lilith, it is a shame the show gave Lilith a Judaeo-Christian origin rather than having her be an entity from an older mythology. I am really no fan of the show trying to make everything work in a Judaeo-Christian framework, including pre-Abrahamic gods of Europe, Africa, and Asia. And why do they all eat people? More on this nonsense in 5x19 Hammer of the Gods.

After finding Sam has escaped and almost killed Bobby, Dean finds out where Sam is. He enters the hotel room when Sam is absent and finds Ruby. He almost gets the drop on her, but then a fight breaks out between the two of them which is broken up when Sam returns. Sam, of course, takes Ruby's side again (betraying one's family is one of the gravest sins in all faiths and mythologies, Sam, just sayin). Sam tells Ruby to go which leaves him and Dean alone together.

After finding Sam has escaped and almost killed Bobby, Dean finds out where Sam is. He enters the hotel room when Sam is absent and finds Ruby. He almost gets the drop on her, but then a fight breaks out between the two of them which is broken up when Sam returns. Sam, of course, takes Ruby's side again (betraying one's family is one of the gravest sins in all faiths and mythologies, Sam, just sayin). Sam tells Ruby to go which leaves him and Dean alone together.

What follows next is Dean's attempts to get Sam to see reason, to ditch the bitch and the demon blood and to go after Lilith with Dean. Sam, on the other hand, laments the fact that Dean does not trust him and hopes they can make things right. Pfft. The subtext of all this is Sam has absolutely no interest whatsoever in working with Dean or doing anything the way Dean thinks they should do things because Sam puts no values whatever on Dean's plans or thoughts. Dean is beneath him and should do what Sam says and wants.

At the same time, however, Sam claims that Dean is always pushing him around and telling him what to do. Sam wants at once to be seen as powerful and competent, but at the same times wants sympathy and understanding for having supposedly been a helpless victim whose agency and choices were stripped from him. Now that Sam has power, he is able to make the choices he was supposedly never allowed to make, and because he is so intelligent and strong, the choices he makes are the correct ones. If only Dean would see how marvellous Sam was, and if only Dean could join Sam in his delusions of grandeur.

Dean's distrust and refusal to coöperate infuriates Sam because it wears away the flimsy illusion of righteousness he has woven about himself. The Sam who Sam has become does not want Dean's trust because he values his brother and the relationship they had, but because it would be confirmation that Sam is on the right path. It would be an ego boost, too. Without that, Sam feels untrustworthy and perhaps generally unworthy.

If the show had leant into the curve and actually allowed Sam to be seen as the villain, none of this would be an issue. Cersei in Game of Thrones is a villain and the show never pretends otherwise. Sam is going to bleed a woman dry in the next episode, drink her blood, then start the Apocalypse, but none of it is really his fault. He was manipulated and he wanted to save his brother and Dean was overbearing and he had the best intentions and I just sicked a bit in my mouth.

Lots of people watching House of the Dragon have complained that bad things Rhaenyra does are either justified or explained away as not her fault or the fault of the men around her. She is not really to blame, the show supposedly wants us to think. I do not fully agree, but she is definitely presented as far more sympathetic than her counterpart in Fire & Blood. In the book, her stupidity (and Viserys's weakness) was one of the triggers of a civil war and the near extinction of the dragons, yet I still like the role her character plays in the book. She is not a 'villain' any more than Alicent et al, but she is hardly a hero.

In the show, she still does a lot of stupid stuff, but the audience is invited to like her and support her claim over Aegon's. In a mirror situation to Sam in this show, she is supposed to be a 'villain' yet she is presented as likeable and a victim of the men around her. The amelioration of her character has been to her detriment. I do like Rhaenyra in the show, but through no fault of the actor's, she has been made less vivid and visceral. I thoroughly hope the writers really are going to give her the same kind of villain arc Game of Thrones tried and failed to give Danaerys, but I worry they are too dead-set on presenting the women as ultimately good and the men as bed.

By the way, the House of the Dragon fandom reminds me a lot of the Supernatural fandom. I have no especial preference for either faction in House of the Dragon and generally like all of those horrible, horrible people (although Viserys did choose Rhaenyra to succeed him). Watching Team Green and Team Black tear into each other and the characters, however, is a lot like how it must have been for fans watching Deangirls and Samgirls go at each other in the early years of the show. The visceral hatred some people have of either Rhaenyra, Alicent, or Criston makes my distaste for Sam feel validated.

As for Sam, this episode should be the culmination of his villain arc, but the show refuses to represent it as such. Sam could have been a villain and Supernatural could have been great. Sam can scheme, connive, fall victim to a demon's feminine wiles (whatever one of those is) and be an irredeemable douche to his brother. If we were not invited to see him as a helpless victim nor to see Dean as the real baddie, this would be fine. Sam could even have been personally likeable and fallen to the 'dark side', and that would still have been a good story. Sam's story has unfortunately not been either of these things for me. I do not find him personally likeable like Dean, nor do I find enjoy his role in the story like Cersei's.

Having read this far, it should be obvious to you, Dear Reader, that I hold Sam mostly to blame for this situation. Well, Ruby really, but Sam needs to take his lumps. But might Dean have helped the situation a little if his communication tactics had been slightly different? His arguments have always been factually correct, i.e. that Ruby is a demon, that demons lie, that Sam's powers (coming from Azazel originally) might lead him to a bad place etc. Objectively this is all true, but Sam is subjective to the situation and does not seem to care much about facts at the moment. Might it have helped if Dean had talked a little more about his time in Hell and the fact that he was becoming a demon? Might this have changed Sam's perception of what was happening to him if Dean had discussed the fact Dean had been on a similar path in Hell and recognised some of the signs?

Even if the writers had remembered that Dean had been to Hell, and why he had been to Hell, this probably would not have helped. By the time Dean found out Ruby already had her claws deep in Sam and he was addicted to demon blood. Whatever the case, Sam was in no mood to negotiate on anything in the final scene, but rather wants Dean to believe in him because 'I'm the only one who can do this'. When Dean refuses to and says Sam is not the one who is going to stop Lilith, Sam's façade collapses and the jealousy referred to earlier is instantly apparent: 'Oh right, the angels think it's you.' Resentment and a bit of mockery are apparent in Sam, especially when he follows this up with calling Dean 'weak'. Dean picks up on this as a dig at his Hell trauma, and his own self-restraint begins failing.

Dean starts trying to boss Sam around (the first time I remember him doing so), and this causes Sam to snap. 'Stop bossing me around, Dean' he moans, sounding exactly like a stroppy teenager. At this point, Sam is 26, had been independent at university for a few years, and has been shown to not let himself be bossed around by anybody in this show.

Loads of episodes in series one and two happened because Sam wanted to go and investigate those things. Dean did not want to go to the house Mary died in, but they still went there in 1x09 Home because Sam wanted to. Dean did not want to go to a faith healer in 1x12 Faith, but Sam did, so off to the faith healer they went. Dean wanted to investigate the deaths in 1x11 Scarecrow but Sam did not, so Sam ran off and met Meg.

Lie after lie comes out of Sam's mouth in this scene: Dean does not 'call the shots', nor does Sam let him 'take the wheel'. Or perhaps Sam does let Dean 'take the wheel', but this is because Sam does not want the accountability. He has shown on numerous occasions that he can 'take the wheel' if he wants to. He just chooses not to. Sam also most assuredly does not trust Dean, meaning that all of this is an attempt at emotional manipulation.

This is not the last time Sam will attempt to manipulate Dean like this, with the next occasion being in 5x05 Fallen Idols where Sam seriously gaslights Dean about the events of the past two years or more and makes it all out to be Dean's fault anyway. ...For reason he brings up in this argument.

Dean is not buying the manipulation and things quickly degenerate. Dean calls Sam a monster, which to be fair is not far from the mark. The fact that this plays into Sam's insecurities does not detract from that, and one is reminded of self-fulfilling prophecies. Sam is not inherently a monster, but he has indeed become one. This is not something Sam is able to hear, though (see above RE: refusal to acknowledge criticism), and Dean calling him a monster begins the fight which ends the episode.

If perhaps my discussion of the subtext in their conversation seems a bit OTT, have a quick watch of this video on the subject of subtext and what viewers can actually read into what characters say:

I have little to say on the fight itself, except that it is surprising nobody came in to see what all the noise was about. In a fair fight, I expect Dean would probably win, like in 4x14 Sex and Violence, but Sam is superpowered in this scene and bests Dean easily enough. It almost reminds me of when Buffy fought Ted, that is how overpowered Dean seems. Had the fight ended when Dean was on the floor, things would have been bad enough, but perhaps not irretrievably broken.

Things had got out of hand, tension were high, etc etc etc. Even if Sam had killed Dean in that fight, it would have been more akin to manslaughter than murder. ...although it would have still been murder, especially since Sam started the fight. But Sam waited until he had won the fight and Dean was defenceless on the floor. Rather than shooting him or something, Sam made the cold-blooded choice to commit to the considerably lengthier process of strangling him to death. Sam really wanted Dean dead.

Some people have asked me why I hate Sam so much. This right here is one of the reasons. Moreover, as Paula's commenter Arafel wrote, Sam essentially had to make a choice between his crack dealer and his brother, and chose his crack dealer after almost murdering his brother. Another reason is that he is never held properly accountable for it. Some might say Dean forgave him after the events of 5x22 Swan Song, but that really is a cop-out. Bobby essentially calls Dean a pussy for this in the next episode, and then it is never brought up again. Because of this, the show missed out on a lot and alienated some viewers from one of the protagonists.

Having said this, bad relationships really can be like this. Years of arguments, resentment, co-dependence etc can come to a head in a violent crisis where it seems the relationship has to come to an end. Except it continues exactly as before until the next violent crisis. It would be acceptable if the show somehow acknowledged the poisonous nature of Dean and Sam's relationship, but instead it tries to make us think they actually love each other really and do not mean to hurt each other so everything is okay in the end.

Sam wanted Dean dead, and this is glossed over for the sake of keeping the brothers together. As a result, a few episodes' time will see Dean sitting across the table from the man who tried to kill him in cold blood and ...nothing. Why does this go nowhere? I am hardly being a pussy for expecting such a life-changing moment to have some actual impact on the narrative and the characters. After all, Bad Wolves has a song named Remember When about the time the singer's twin brother killed him (he was resuscitated in hospital).

I see Dean and Sam's brother bond as a fabrication and a marketing tool. There is too much acrimony and mistreatment for me to ever be able to see it as a positive thing, whatever the show tries to tell me.

Dean telling Sam to never come back after Sam tried to kill him has been likened to John telling Sam to never come back when he went to university. Dean has also apparently tried bossing Sam around, thereby driving Sam away, just like John. I have no tolerance for bullies and abusers acting like victims, so I merely raised that comment in order to guffaw at its ridiculousness.

After a bumper-size analysis this week, it is finally time to draw things to a well-deserved close. It is a shame the show did not truly have the gonadal fortitude to carry through with Sam becoming a monster: after all, that was the point of episode like 4x04 Metamorphosis, was it not? Its hesitance to make Sam anything other than a victim hamstrung it. The lack of consequences, guilt, and regret for Sam almost killing his brother was the event horizon for many viewers (myself included).

Other than that, I remember still being excited about the next episode when I first got this far in the show. The stakes are high and the conflict between the brothers might lead to them failing to stop the Apocalypse (although as we learn later, this was out of their hands).

Here endeth the analysis. You can read more of my analyses here:

Series 1

Series 2

Series 3

Series 4

Sundry

You can read Paula’s review here and Demian’s here.

P.S JUST KISS!!

[the-confessions-of-a-fangirl]

Buck Season 8 Storyline

Season 7 started off strong for Buck with the way his bisexual realization was written. The confusion, the 'overenthusiastic-ally-to-queer,' over-compensating with the heterosexual behavior because you're not ready to be out.

But after that Buck was, once again, shoved into a relationship with someone who wouldn't treat him well and was given no further storyline beyond that. Even Maddie and Chimney, who didn't get overarching storylines like Henren, Bathena ,and Eddie, at least had one episode storylines and made an impact in the story during the finale (fostering Mara till Henren could finally officially adopt her).

It got me thinking on what kind of storyline Buck could have in season 8. It has to be something that touches on his family (118) and romantic relationships (they can't be side-lined at this point) but it has to be something wholly about him.

Then I remembered season 4. In season 4, we see that Buck started seeing a Dr. Copeland because he had issues about feeling 'sad and lonely' and feeling like he can't trust it (4x03). Even after he got closure from Abby which was the only lingering relationship issue at the time, he still felt sad and lonely.

This means that it's an internal thing that is making him feel sad and lonely, not an external relationship. And afterwards we see that this loneliness stems from his childhood in a family with neglectful parents and a sister, who loved him so much, but was caught up in a terrible situation to be around.

But there was another aspect that we learned from his childhood. His 'reckless' , 'dive in head first' attitude was a learned behaviour. He taught himself that being in pain=getting attention from his parents and this escalated to a point where he got in a motorcycle accident. As these incidents escalated, he would have to do weigh the fact that he could get really hurt (or worse) and then go 'that's not as important as the possibility of surviving and his parents showing him a smidge of attention'

That is textbook self-destructive behaviour wrapped up in this need for attention and love. He needs this attention because otherwise he doesn't feel enough for his parent's affection. And how long can a kid grow up like that before he internalizes that?

This lack of self worth is seen in 4x05 when he calls himself 'defective parts' and when Eddie combats that by saying 'its not on you' he combats it not by saying he doesn't think that but that his parents do think of it like that. He isn't saying 'I know I'm not defective' but that 'this situation isn't about me' when it clearly is. It personally speaks to me about low self-worth, that even when he is talking about himself, its through the way other people describe him.

He also has a huge tendency to intellectualize his traumas rather than confront them. Refer to Buck 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0. Instead of processing the fact that his parents lied to him for years, he just says he's a new person because his parent's agreed to family therapy with him. He hasn't even dealt with his emotions yet and he's already packing the trauma in a box to keep away. Even his bisexual arc follows this, he may logically understand that he is bisexual but then he immediately jumped into something without trying to process what that means to him because he just won't think about himself without a buffer of another person.

So we see that Buck tends to feel lonely even when he is surrounded by meaningful relationships (Taylor in 4x08), he has self destructive habits and a lack of self worth. We also see that whenever it comes to him processing or letting himself feel his emotions, he'd rather focus on something else (he finally realizes it is over with Abby; he worries about not being a manwhore like Buck 1.0, his family lied to him; he'd rather focus on the fact that he is getting family therapy and try to find someone romantic, when Eddie is shot and he's asked about it; he'd rather worry about the team and climb up a crane where chances are he could be shot)

I want to take all of this and put it in a storyline for Buck where he learns that he only looks for a romantic partner, no matter who they are, because he wants to avoid being alone with his negative thoughts about himself or what he has been through like the ladder, his parents, dying, being lied to by Maddie, seeing Eddie get shot. The sad and lonely part of him that he keeps trying to put away with any romantic partner that comes his way is not because he lacks romance or love of any kind, but because he is unable to be happy with just himself. Buck doesn't like himself, he's constantly looking for an external change for something internal to him that he doesn't even try to think about and that is self-destructive.

Because the only external change he can think of is tossing himself into any relationship he has the opportunity of being in without thinking about whether that person is good for him. Abby didn't want a serious relationship, he barely got a chance to be meaningful with Ali, Taylor has behaved poorly in regards to his family (118) and Tommy is overall very dismissive of Buck as a person.

And when these relationships end, he feels even more poorly about himself, because he has always thought of any issue in a relationship being his fault because why wouldn't it be?

Buck has serious self worth issues that he needs to learn how to process and learn to like who he is and I hope season 8 will do that.

[camryntheking]

Season 4 reaction

I might just do this for every season cos i need to rant (Autism things. Iykyk).

Ok. 4x03. The whole Eddie and Hildy thing is so fucking funny. And Buck and Chris teaming up to get the coffee maker is so domestic. I love it so much lmao

And naturally i watched 9-1-1: Lone Star 2x03. Ive seen some episodes so i have some knowledge about the characters, but not much. But its so funny. TK always knew lmao

Then we have 4x05. Buck Begins. Man i almost cried so many times. I knew about the Daniel thing but i didnt know the whole story and. Whew. Its a lot. But im glad he has the 118 and Athena to help him and to be his family. Maddie to. I can see both of their sides tho. But when Buck got the clean bill of health Eddie was just like a husband waiting for him to come home lmao. I love them so much. And the ending scene with Maddie and Buck is so sweet 🥹

And i know its not my usual topic, but in 4x07, the whole plot with David, Michael, and Bobby is so funny. I dont know much about Michael’s storyline, so i am actually clueless as to how it turns out. But the three of them are so great together and i hope to see more!

4x08. I know some about Taylor. So the fact she is back is making me 😠. And she did not have to call Buck out like that. Homeboy has been through some shit and is trying to figure it out. But Buck and Chris’ friendship is so pure and i love them so much❤️❤️

4x11. Athena’s “dont even think about it Buck” has me CACKLING. She is such a mom to him and its amazing

And Jealous Eddie in 4x12 with the treasure hunt? Homeboy does NOT like Taylor (cant blame him tho). And Chim and Hen’s friendship is fucking amazing. But the whole 118 trying to find the treasure is so funny. The fact that Ravi found it first tho? I love that man

4x13. Eddie is already having doubts about Ana. Homeboy does not like women and you cannot convince me otherwise. And the scene of Eddie getting shot made me cry. I can definitely see why people think that this is where the Buddie arc was supposed to happen. Cos they held eye contact and Eddie reached out for Buck. And that could be seen as platonic but knowing everything we do, it just seems like it was a set up for a romantic arc

And 4x14 starts with Buck crawling under a fire truck to get to Eddie. Without a second thought, he rolled under a firetruck, the thing that caused so much trauma, to get to Eddie. And Eddie was so concerned that Buck was hurt even though he was the one bleeding. And i guess Taylor can have her good moments. But the scene where Buck tells Chris what happened breaks my heart. He was trying to hold it together for Chris but once he knew that Eddie made it through surgery? He couldnt hold in his emotions. And then when they are talking about the will. Its so soft between them. And Eddie just knows that Buck wouldnt say no to taking in Chris. And i think that just shows how close of a bond they have. This was totally a set up for a romantic arc, but of course F*x had to shut that down 😒

“Because, Evan” 😭😭😭

And i love that Albert is gonna be a firefighter. I love that man

[declanscunt]

kenstewy fic recs?

oh god… so many… first of all anything and everything by ao3 authors leoandsnake (especially tsd i & tsd ii) and stewyonmolly (im particularly fond of lesbian kenstewy & their senses series)

MORE RECS UNDER CUT!!!

coefficient of variation by trill_gutterbug

summary:

"No, it's not—I just want to. It's not like, a thing, you know?"

"You want to lie here slobbering on my limp dick while I read forty-seven thrilling pages of Macroprudential Policy Regulation, but it's 'not a thing.'"

Kendall's face, already hot, pulsed feverish with a livid mix of embarrassment and arousal. He shut his eyes. "Something like that, yeah."

Telemachus’ Detachment by magnoliabud

summary:

There’s one thing Logan hasn’t used against Kendall yet: his relationship with Stewy. Kendall decides to jump in front of it.

Or: thirty years of something.

Set from the middle of Series 3, after the shareholder’s meeting.

tenderness of heart by strangeluvz

summary:

Stewy,

My assistant said that you told her if I wasn’t using my phone “to at least send a fucking letter or some shit” and I don’t know whether you were joking or whatever but here. You know that being online is bad shit for me man. So here’s this: I’m OK. Is that good enough? Do you need a stool sample or something too? Vial of my blood? Let me know

Kendall Roy

*

Kendall goes offline. Stewy sends him letters.

we’ll meet in even greater darkness later by moonrocks

summary:

Kendall isn’t exactly sure what Stewy’s doing here, if this is a booty call for old times’ sake or there’s something else they need to discuss. Maybe Stewy’s just doing him another solid. Since his dad died, it’s been hard to be stagnant in his apartment all alone. Between the studio in LA and the corporate retreat in Norway, Kendall has actively avoided it, but the election is coming up, and there’s nowhere to run now. He’s in the bullpen and the beast is rearing its ugly head.

(Set sometime between 4x04 and 4x08).

some little language by strangeluvz

summary:

Stewy says, “Dude, sometimes. I think I, like, love you so much, it physically hurts.”

Kendall replies, without thinking, “What the fuck.”

*

Post-canon: Kendall goes to Stewy. Stewy’s arms are always open.

Make Good by Springandastorm

summary:

"I don't think…" Kendall trails off. His shoulders hang heavy.

"You don't think, or you do?" Stewy asks, the usual smooth scale of his voice a little softer, like he's talking Kendall off a ledge somewhere.

"I think I'm pretty fucking hollow."

"Yeah. My voice echoes when I talk to you." Stewy agrees, leaning a little closer and knocking his shoulder into his. "That's okay."

a current under sea / picked his bones in whispers by ingwertee

summary:

God, he’s been picking up the pieces for a mopey, strung out, kicked puppy version of Kendall for over a year now. Kendall’s sudden surge of confidence, however unjustified, turns him on, reminds him of the Kendall he had started to think only existed in his daydreams.

a little of the collapsing space by ohtempora

summary:

“I’m not gonna say you should have told me,” Stewy says. “You absolutely should not have told me fucking anything."

what did you tell me, mary by harukatenoh

summary:

In which Kendall and Stewy attempt to answer: what have you got in your fucking hand?

i figure you with love by alaczije

summary:

Stewy manages to do a decent job of forgetting about Kendall, and him-and-Kendall, and all the neuroses contained therein, until the pap photos leak.

Luxe / Redux by orestesfasting

summary:

He’s not sure what he’s more angry about, is the thing. The betrayal or the subsequent lie.

Or—maybe that’s not quite true. He knows which one he’s more angry about, and he knows that rationally it should be the other one. But needless to say, if Kendall had told him the truth about why he did what he did, Stewy wouldn’t be heading to his place uninvited at 11PM on a Saturday night, brimming with righteous fury like the proverbial woman scorned.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

hi! what do you think are the best/most tolerable episodes in season 4 of community? it’s widely regarded as the worst season and I never know which episodes to watch each time I go through a community rewatch binge lol. so, I figured I would consult the encyclopedia! (this is my first time using the ask feature so I apologize if I am not using it correctly)

heyo! this is a great question. I actually have an abbreviated season 4 watchlist that cuts out the worst episodes (in my opinion), while staying comprehensible and making sure you're still able to follow the season's overarching plots:

4x01: history 101

4x03: conventions of space and time*

4x05: cooperative escapism in familial relations*

4x06: advanced documentary filmmaking

4x08: herstory of dance

4x11: basic human anatomy*

4x12: heroic origins*

4x13: advanced introduction to finality

the episodes with asterisks* are the ones I actually really enjoy watching. the others on the list are pretty mid, but are, in my opinion, important enough to the overarching plot and character development to be worth watching. when I'm showing other people season 4 for the first time, I adhere to this watchlist lol.

I’m going to do some (hopefully quick) explanations of how I came up with this list, but you don't have to read it if you don't want to lol:

✅ history 101: it's the first episode of the season, so it really does set the tone and establish some important details (jeff wants to graduate early, troy and britta are dating, this is their last year at greendale, etc.) as with most of season 4, the weirdness seems really contrived and unnatural, but it does have its moments of being genuinely funny. it's also a pretty abed-centric episode, which is always a bonus lol

❌ paranormal parentage: I don’t hate this episode, but it's just kind of boring and doesn't really add anything to the season. I love megan ganz but... yeah. a lot of the jokes seem forced, and there's way too much pierce for my liking. there are a couple good one liners ("you should probably tell your boyfriend's boyfriend" "I remember when this show was about community college") and it does help set up jeff finally contacting his dad, but imo it doesn't quite make the episode worth watching

✅ conventions of space and time: I’ve heard that some people hate this episode? couldn't be me. way too much trobed for me to hate it lmao. there is a lot of jeffannie in it too, but that resolves with the conclusion that annie is just a romantic who loves to fantasize, and doesn't actually have real feelings for jeff. it actually fuels my lesbiannie agenda tbh, because she is evidently just in love with the idea of a man but doesn't actually put that into practice. but that's another post lmao. we have some great one-liners, we have britta helping troy through his jealousy, we have "troy will find me :)" we have some more inspector spacetime lore, etc etc. I love this episode and rewatch it frequently.

❌ alternative history of the german invasion: for me, this episode has almost zero redeeming qualities. the jokes are lame, I hate professor cornwallis, there is so much discontinuity, it has zero importance in the bigger picture of the season and the show, it's out of character, etc. the one thing I like is the end tag.

✅ cooperative escapism in familial relations: this is a big one for me. I never see people talking about it, but to me this episode is one of season 4's saviors. we have HUGE jeff development, jeffbritta moments, some much needed shirley screentime and development, some great jokes ("-to eat garbage dip WHY DID I HAVE TO GO THIRD), classic trobedison shenanigans, and the shawshank redemption homage is very funny to me. plus! adam devine cameo! I like this episode more every time I watch it. unsung hero fr.

✅ advanced documentary filmmaking: okay so I won’t lie, I fucking HATE the changnesia arc. I think it is so incredibly stupid and uncreative. there are a million different and better ways they could have brought him back. but, this episode is just too important in the season's development to skip. and, honestly, if I ignore the whole premise, there are a lot of funny bits and jokes in this one. troy constantly smiling at the camera (read: smiling at abed), troy and annie being the silliest ever, jeff's trust issues, and ken jeong is truly very funny, I just hate this arc so much. but ultimately it's too important to cut. imo.

❌ economics of marine biology: I basically feel the same about this one as I do about alternative history of the german invasion. it's boring, the premise is stupid, it's out of character, it's unfunny, the guest character is lame, and it's pointless to the overall plot. abed and the delta cubes is a little bit funny? and I guess you could argue that the jeff and pierce development is important? but I’d refute that very quickly. it's pierce, who cares. not. worth. it.

✅ herstory of dance: this episode is honestly the upper end of mid, but it has enough good jokes and development to make it worth it. it is also Very abed-centric, which we've established is always a plus imo, and his whole bit with going on two dates at once is very in character. he also meets rachel, who comes back in season 5, so that's important. it also has some great jeff & britta development!!! which is sort of few and far between in the later seasons!!! yippee!!!

❌ intro to felt surrogacy: tied for my least favorite community episode of all time. it's clear they tried to do something similar to what they did with abed's uncontrollable christmas, but it is so incredibly contrived that it is physically painful to watch. I hate the puppets. the hot air balloon story is so stupid and out of character. the songs are bad. how dare they sully the legacy of my third favorite episode (lmao). the only redeeming qualities are troy as a whole (all of his lines are good, and that moment when he pretends his puppet is falling asleep is very funny), and the fact that pierce is not physically in it. but those do not make up for how horrific the rest of it is. in my opinion. haha.

❌ intro to knots: once again! Tied For My Least Favorite Community Episode! they're right next to each other, how convenient. and again: bad jokes, bad premise, I fucking hate professor cornwallis, the changnesia shit is back, the plot is ALL over the place, there is little to no actual character development, the dialogue just goes in circles, and it ends with a random litter of kittens that are never mentioned again??? I guess the only mildly important thing is the end tag with the evil study group, which comes back during the season finale. but yeah. not worth it. disgusting.

✅ basic human anatomy: and here we have a HUGE jump from the last one. this is my favorite season 4 episode, and is probably in my top 15 from the entire show. I could talk about this episode for hours. the troy development alone is so so so good and important. add abed into the mix and Oh Boy!!! britta is great in this one, jeff and the dean's whole thing is so fucking funny, shirley and annie competing against leonard for valedictorian on a technicality is very in character and silly, danny and donald's acting in this one is commendable, etc etc etc. there really isn't much, if anything, I dislike about this episode. jim rash being the credited writer makes me love him even more. legendary. outstanding.

✅ heroic origins: I actually really like this episode. it does still have that sort of unnatural and off-putting vibe that the majority of season 4 has, but I think it holds up. it's in character, it has some great jokes and one-liners, and although it does have its moments of discontinuity, it does a surprisingly good job of staying compliant with what has already been established. certainly much better than alternative history of the german invasion. abed's whole bit with the star wars prequels makes me laugh, the annie's boobs lore, footage of annie and troy in high school (surprisingly well done if you ignore the discontinuity of troy's injury), etc. it's also massively important for the overarching season plot, and we finally get to the conclusion of the stupid changnesia arc. I could go on and on, there's just a ton of really cool callbacks (including one to the pilot, which I only noticed a few months ago and am obsessed with), and I just. wasn't expecting this one to work out as well as it did. pleasantly surprised, all in all.

✅ advanced introduction to finality: this one is not great tbh, but it's too important plot-wise to skip. and, I mean, it does have some good moments. abed immediately recognizing evil jeff, the whole thing being in jeff's head a la remedial chaos all being in abed's head (insert something about how this being yet another demonstration of how fundamentally jeff and abed understand each other, which I could expand way more on but won't in this particular post), season 2 of the cape, "one of us is out of bullets" "is it you" "...yeah" "why would you tell me that," and more. overall, yeah, worth watching imo.

I do also want to say that I think season 4 is a bit overhated. I do agree that it is the worst season, I think most of us can agree that that is an objective truth, but it does have its moments and I do get slightly frustrated when people write the entire season off.

I’m also happy to hear anyone else's opinions on what you think is/isn't worth watching in season 4, especially if you really strongly disagree with me. I’m curious to what your reasoning is lmao.

okay! this is definitely way more elaboration than you needed, but I hope this was helpful 💯💯💯

[mikelogan]

OMGGGGGGG!!! sleepover saturday's RULE... okay... what are your top three l&o episodes? obviously they will all have mike, but what are the three you love MOST

REEEEEEE obligatory "ITS SO HARD TO NARROW IT DOWN" bc duh lmao but i know 2 of them for sure right off the bat lol (also choosing to take this as the OG series bc I can't narrow it down to 3 between that AND CI)

in no particular order:

2x01 confession is probably the episode I've watched the most bc hi yes hello i am the angst queen and I love being in agony!

5x20 bad faith for basically the same reasons but in both of these episodes, i think the writing and acting is phenomenal and it was pretty rare in the early L&O days to delve into the characters' personal lives so any glimpse into that is like crack to me. plus the return of captain dad makes me obscenely happy

and god, number three could be 1x03 the reaper's helper, 1x09 indifference, 3x08 prince of darkness/3x09 point of view, 3x21 manhood, 4x07 apocrypha, 4x08 american dream, or 4x22 old friends. take your pick lmao (but it's probably manhood)

let's do sleepover saturday!

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Lone Star Season 4 Thoughts: I love Season 4...mostly

With the prospect of season 5 filming beginning so soon, I've been thinking a lot about season 4 lately. I felt like rambling out some of my thoughts on here.

First, perhaps an unpopular opinion (?) but I love season 4. Sure, it has its flaws, but to me, the good far outweighs the bad. For one thing, I personally don't mind Gabriel's death. It's not what I would have chosen myself if I were writing the finale, and I think it could have benefited from a 3-5 episode arc rather than being squeezed into two already very busy episodes, but I appreciate a lot of what came with it and the potential it provides for season 5. Rafa's acting in the finale was incredible and the aftermath of Gabriel dying resulted in one of my top 10 Tarlos scenes of all time (the scene of them deciding to postpone the wedding at the beginning of 4x18) and one of my top 10 non-Tarlos scenes of all time (the Owen and Carlos scene). Season 4 also gave us the incredible soulmates scene, Lou II, lots of other excellent Tarlos scenes/episodes (4x02, 4x04, 4x08, 4x12, 4x16-18), some new love interests I really liked (Asha, Joe, and Trevor...NOT Kendra), a true showcase of Rafa's talent as an actor along with (finally!) the screen time he deserves, a Marjan storyline that wasn't perfect but had a lot of good stuff to enjoy, and a mention of the Tarlos wedding in every single episode. I enjoyed watching every episode (with the possible exception of 4x03...but even there I can find things to enjoy).

As far as the whole Iris/secret marriage storyline goes, yeah, it's not great. But I can still find a lot to appreciate within it. I love Iris, I love her friendship with Carlos (Rafa and Lyndsy sold me on their friendship with a single hospital scene in 4x03!), and I think it added fascinating elements to Carlos' backstory...like the fact that he was so lost and upset after his family's reaction to his coming out that he married a woman to try to be the man he believed they wanted and needed him to be. For the parts I don't like as much and that--let's face it, don't make much sense--I'm able to look past them or make up head canons to explain them away. (And the talented fic writers of this fandom have done a great service to help that process along...there are many great ones, but particular shout out to Where All This Love Comes From @carlos-in-glasses, which managed to make better sense of Carlos' backstory than I ever imagined possible...if you haven't read it yet, I suggest you do so ASAP). I certainly don't blame anyone who can't do this...that storyline was a mess, I can't deny that! But for me, there's enough to appreciate that it doesn't mess with my enjoyment of the season.

Aside from the secret marriage thing, I think the worst storyline of the season was the Owen/FBI storyline. The sad thing is that this one could have been ok had it been executed better. The biggest issues here were (1) too much Owen off on his own time, which is never good--Owen is at his best when he's in storylines with the other main characters--and (2) they completely failed to stick the landing. BADLY. If you're going to do a white supremacist storyline, you need to commit! Instead, they tried to throw in so many twists that they ended up trying to make us feel sympathy for and see the white supremacist gang members as victims. Yeah, not going to work for me when, in a previous episode, you told us they were literal Nazis! But ultimately I don't really care all that much about a solo Owen storyline to begin with, so it didn't affect my enjoyment of the season as a whole.

All of that said, the thing that irritated me the most about season 4 was the 8 week deadline for the wedding. The ridiculous Lone Star timeline has always been a bit of a thorn in my side, but it really got out of hand in season 4. What bothers me most is the fact that the whole 8 weeks thing is both so completely ridiculous and so completely unnecessary! It is clearly there only to slightly raise the stakes for the first few episodes of the season. It's "Oh no, they have to get married in 8 weeks, which means Carlos has to hurry up and get divorced from Iris to make the deadline, only now Iris has gone missing and she hasn't signed the divorce papers yet so they won't be able to get married!" The exact same thing could have been accomplished with an even slightly more realistic deadline--say 4 months. A 4 month deadline would have still been an incredibly short amount of time to plan a wedding and it would have still required urgency in the divorce process. And yeah, 4 months would have still been a bit unbelievable, but it would have been the ordinary tv show timeline kind of unbelievable, and it would have fit far better with the other markers of time in season 4, like the fact that it's explicitly stated that it's January in the beginning of the season and May at the end.

To make matters worse, the urgency for Iris to sign the papers--once again, the whole reason for the 8 week deadline-- isn't really even addressed after 4x02 because once Iris goes missing, her safety is the main concern. Then, once they wrap that storyline up, it is literally never mentioned again. I spent the entire season waiting for it to become an issue, but it never does. The writers essentially forget about it and spend the entire rest of the season providing dates and stating that amounts of time have passed that add up to way more than 8 weeks. It's just so RIDICULOUS and it means NOTHING!

Ok, whew, got that out. Probably no one is still reading at this point, but if you are, thank you for reading my essay and I love you 💜

[booklove22]

I’m torn between the theory that Nancy’s sin impacted 4x08 (circa Nace call) through 4x10 vs. impacting everything from 4x03 on.

I mean the last two eps have felt weird after the 4x08 phone call…I think this is the more accurate theory. That the narrative of the last two eps can’t be fully trusted.

But the idea that almost everything we’ve seen this season COULD have been altered memories is just drama at its best. I can’t make the math math on this, but the idea of seeing an alternate (original/truthful) version of events for most of the season is killing me. Particularly if Nace actually did break the curse in 4x03 but their rewritten memories make them believe they failed. Like what if we saw:

-Nace successfully breaking the curse

-Maybe Nancy did pass out, but it was Ace at her bedside when she woke up, telling her that everything was fine

-instead of showing up at Icarus Hall to break up with her, thats when they finally had sexytimes

- in fact, what if every tense moment, every “breakup” scene was actually a romantic moment rewritten?

- What if every Tristan moment was rooted in nothing more than casual friendship? After all, he’s still the sin eater and that plot needs to go somewhere, but they could have still gotten trapped in the 70’s with no romantic undertones whatsoever.

- What if Ace showed up in a tux because he was still a tiny bit jealous that she and Tristan went to 70’s prom (especially after admitting his high school crush)?

-what if the shellegrams were actually from Ace? “I’ll be more romantic after we break the curse.”

To be clear- I don’t think the math actually maths here. I can’t logically make this theory work as well as I can that the last two episodes (post Nace phone call) are what have been rewritten- but that doesn’t mean I don’t like imagining an alternative season where Nace was together and sexy and happy and flirty, so I’m just gonna keep doing that even though I don’t think it will pan out.