#I think I really put my feeling in it in a decently coherent way so thanks poetry

[supercool-here]

The world is ending

I wake up

happy to see the sunshine in my room

I smile and say hello

I get up and stretch and moan

I turn the TV on

it is no news

The world is ending

global tensions

petty nations

the world is ending

car crash

traffic jam

the world is ending

armed robbery

crumbling economy

the world is ending

volcano eruptions

choked by pollution

the world is ending

in Asia, in America

in Africa, in Australia

the world is ending

every day, it is ending

the world has ended before

and it will end again

We will keep on walking

We will hold hands

We will sit down

and watch the world end

We will lay down

and we will rest

We will open our eyes

and do it all over again

[bengiyo]

Ben’s Big BL Blurb 2: Fall is Finally Here

I am simply too busy with worth, family, other hobbies, and life to write about every show in real time anymore. I’m sorry to all the Stray Thoughts readers who’ve reached out about whether I would pick that back up, and I simply just do not have the time to do them anymore. Instead, I’ll try to do one of these as often as I can to catch up on things.

First, let’s go over some shows I finished recently that I don’t think I wrote much about.

First Note of Love

I was so happy to see Michael back on screen, and I was glad to see that he’s still able to get great chemistry with his co-star. Unfortunately, I don’t think this show was very coherent, so I didn’t get a lot out of it emotionally. It was a pretty inoffensive watch overall, and thus an easy show to put on without having to work through too much. I liked the work between everyone, and Mei Lei was such a fun character. Probably won’t return to this one, though. 

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

This is probably the show of the year for me. There’s so much I loved about this show. I loved that the characters had sex, but were neither rewarded nor punished for it; their sex didn’t solve any problems. I also really love how this show explored how childhood trauma expresses in two different kinds of boys, and I love that we got to see a bully reckon with his actions and get closure. I love that this show ended with them being kinda poor, but happy together. I love how messed up they both were about everything. I loved that Juyeong wasn’t stupid, and could read what was going on.

I clearly need to write a separate post to unpack everything I felt in this show.

Let’s move on to what I’m watching currently, in no particular order…starting with the lesbians, and then the worst BLs.

Apple My Love

Genuinely having fun with this GL. I like how quickly most of the drama plays out. It’s giving me quite a bit of secondhand embarrassment, but I like the characterizations in this show. This new production house brought us Knock Knock, Boys! and Monster Next Door this year. We need to keep an eyes on them. 

Haunted Hearts

I’m so fascinated by Oxin Films teaming up with Regal Entertainment. The leads are very attractive, but the cinematography is really boring. I’m trying to stay invested, but it’s kind of a sleepy watch. Also amused that they started airing a ghost romance right after Halloween ended. I’ve kind of moved on emotionally from the season.

My Damn Business

This show could be good, but it’s not. I struggled with episode 5 because our lead looked more relaxed and happier with his senior than the guy he’s getting into a romance with. There’s something missing here in this one, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I think it’s primarily a side effect of the short run time, but I think the boss’s interest isn’t landing properly for the employee to respond to. 

Eccentric Romance

This show could be good, but it’s not. Still, I am obsessed with a murder mystery being the primary source of confusion between our leads. I was willing to forgive this show a lot of its rough edges, but it failed to handle the turn from friendship to sexual/romance really well. I feel like our guys just started dating and having sex, and I’m a bit frustrated that they didn’t talk about it really at all, particularly since this show features two different languages spoken on screen. Genuinely looking forward to seeing how this one finishes. 

See Your Love

I’m not sure this show is exactly working that well, but everyone is very pretty and I’m having a decent time watching it. I like the way Shao Peng stands up for himself, and I like that nothing that’s happened has been totally unbelievable or unreasonable (at least with the mains). I’ll be curious how the hard of hearing and deaf viewers respond to this one once it’s complete. 

Love is Like a Poison

This show is actually so funny. I love that Shiba is in his own lawyer genre separate from everyone else, and I really like how the two of these guys have become a team. I’m curious how they manage to resolve the scamming next week, but this has been the most unexpected dynamic of the year. 

Love in the Air: Koi no Yukon

MAME won this year, y’all. We all have complicated feelings about her, but she’s secured a loving adaptation from a Japanese team that’s put solid effort into bringing her characters to life. Every character feels correct compared to their Thai counterpart we saw on screen, and that’s a strong sign that the writing behind MAME’s work is strong, even if we all have issues with the way she tackles certain themes. I’m really impressed with this adaptation, and really like this version of Rain.I also feel like this show is doing a better job blending the forthcoming couple focus shift.

Our Youth

We just got this show, but damn does it feel sharp! I’m always going to be a sucker for a cinephile character, and I’m so compelled by the way Minase is drawn to Hirukawa. The scene in episode 2 where Minase has to leave Hirukawa’s house might be one of the most impressive sequences we’ve had in a while, requiring a great deal of choreography and effort from the actors and the camera crew to pull off, and I’m excited to see how these characters split and then come back together. 

Smells Like Green Spirit

Let me just say that I need another Abe Alan appearance when he isn’t playing a character doing horrible things to his students. I’ve enjoyed meditating on the 90s with this show and what that era felt like. I’ve liked how the show has tried to focus on how different parents (especially the moms) have responded to their kids coming to terms with themselves. I’ve also really enjoyed the friendship that’s grown between Mishima and Kirino. I’m struggling with Yumeno a lot, because I’m really not a friend of bully romances. Still, I feel like this is one of those shows I’ll remember for a long time because of its focus on the 90s. 

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I think @lurkingshan covered reactions to episode 5 and episode 6 better than I could, and I loved @twig-tea giving context for the film history moment in episode 6. I remember screaming into the chat for friends to show up for this when I got to that moment. This show has two great pairs of dynamics going on that mirror well. It’s got such a strong handle on its characters’ motivations and how they would respond to the actions from each other. It’s probably the tightest thing I’m watching now, backed by extremely dialed-in performances. I will be thinking about Qi Lu organizing his potential first kiss with Qin Xiao, and how unapologetic he’s been about the entire affair. He’s being selfish here, but I kinda like it. I’m so thankful that we are somehow still getting this show, because goddamn do the Chinese actors deliver on chemistry sometimes.

Interview With the Vampire Season 2

I finished this with a friend last week, and holy fuck is this show still so, so good. We watch a lot of gay romance because of BL, and I am having so much fun watching the show about gay divorce. I loved the time we spent in Paris, Daniel’s shifting role in the narrative, and the new insights we got into Lestat this season. I will miss Claudia so much, and I have to give a standing ovation to Delainey Hayles stepping into the role of Claudia and doing the damn thing this season. I just love seeing my little fucked up gay people torment each other on screen.

I'm still thinking about Louis and Lestat reuniting in a hurricane after Claudia derided this as yet another chapter in their stormy romance.

Dropped Shows

Unfortunately, everyone can’t win. Some of these shows are just too long for me to keep up with them, and oftentimes I get bored. I’ve currently dropped:

Lovesick 2024 - I may go back. We’ll see

Jack & Joker - It’s just too long, and they just killed Jennie and a kid. I’m good.

Fourever You - I’m bored with Earth always playing this character type.

Pluto - Namtam and Film are beautiful, but this looks too messy right now.

Every You, Every Me - Wasn’t intrigued after episode 1, but the commentary may draw me back.

Kidnap - Ohm is not enough to keep me invested in this show. 

Uncle Unknown - How did they make a 6 minute show feel slow?

I’m genuinely not trying to be harsh to Thai shows out here, but I just do not have the time to keep up with all of them when they’re this long and dragging.

Thanks for stopping by, and let me know if there’s something I missed that I should check out.

[one-night-story]

I Don't Know You, But I Would Love to Meet You (Jack Hughes)

a/n: I wanted to get this not under the wire, but I can't help but feel like it a little? Which, sorry about that. this is for @writingonleaves by way of @wyattjohnston 's annual winter fic exchange! I hope you enjoy it! this was as always a fun challenge to write. title is from "We Should Be Friends" by Josh Ramsay, which is v cute. (also it's so long oh jeez)

There’s probably a certain age when you’re fairly certain you’re “too old” to be waking up on strangers couches with little memory of A) who’s couch you ended up on and B) how exactly you got there.

I don’t think I’ve quite hit that age yet, so I think I’m in the clear for the understandable confusion I woke up with as the morning sun streamed in from the floor to ceiling windows. 

Shit, not only was I in an unfamiliar apartment, whoever was renting the place was clearly richer than my blood. 

Good news: my phone was on the coffee table and attached to a charger, so whoever I’d crashed with was a benevolent host, which boded well for my continued situation. I checked my texts and it seems last night me had been coherent and just exhausted, seeing as I remembered to text my roommate that I wasn’t coming home saying I was crashing “with friends” and that I’d text her when I got back on campus. 

Huh, promising.

It at least meant she wouldn’t send out a search party consisting of our friend group, their friends, and the National Guard. All incredibly good things for my continued health and existence. 

Now, to figure out who’s apartment I’d just woken up in. 

Carefully, I stretched out my legs and shifted the blankets onto my lap when I realized I at the very least had the sense to not try and sleep in jeans but had left my “nice enough to go out” t-shirt on, and scanned the area. A couple of photos on the wall of a relatively decent sized family, siblings at the bare minimum as they popped up in several photos. Rich, but a bachelor as no one with any interior design sense had popped by to huck a colored throw pillow into the mix, and that was assuming their lease didn’t allow for wall color changes. 

Honestly, I was coming up empty. 

None of my friends were this rich, hell if they were I feel like it would’ve come up way sooner, not to mention why the hell would they bother commuting to campus when they probably could leverage online classes and still come out with a degree. 

I was just about to fashion enough of a blanket skirt to at least try and find my pants so I could start rifling through a mail stack when there was creaking coming from down the hall. Well, maybe I’d have an answer soon enough. I readjusted the blanket a little so I could look over from where I thought the creaking was coming from and was greeted by… okay calling it a familiar face might’ve been a stretch, but so would the text to my roommate saying I was staying with a friend, so somehow that was two birds with one stone. 

I did recognize him, which was an improvement over my worst fear, he was a friend of a friend of a brother of a friend. Which put me at four degrees of separation, and raised my “why the fuck did I crash here” hackles, but the fact that I was on a couch and not in someone’s bed felt safe, even if it wasn’t all there yet. 

He didn’t seem to be fully coherent yet, as he rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his, admittedly very pretty, hair so I tried to hold back a large laugh when he startled at seeing me sitting on his couch.

“Hi,” I said with a sheepish wave. “Sorry, I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” I remarked. What I really needed to do was find out where the hell half-dead me had hucked my pants so I could tug them back on and then make a beeline to the nearest train station to get home.

“‘S fine, just… uh… shit, there’s no like… good way of asking this,” he mulled over.

“It’s okay, I don’t quite remember your name either,” I said, saving him the embarrassment. He laughed, and it was goofy and light, which was way too endearing for… shit did that microwave clock say 9:30 in the morning? I couldn’t help but join in with a chuckle of my own. 

“Oh thank god,” he said once he stopped most of the laughter, “I didn’t want to seem like a complete asshole, but also there was no way I was going to remember it after last night.” He added.

“Yeah, I don’t remember much either, and I don’t even think I drank that much?” I said with just a dash of question in my tone, he nodded once.

“You didn’t, but I think you mentioned that you didn’t want to risk taking the train back so late.” He said. “I offered to let you crash here when you refused to let someone pay for a hotel.”

Yeah, that sure did sound like me.

“Well, thank you, I’m Sadie,” I said, and as soon as I did, he brightened like he suddenly did remember and just needed the metaphorical kick in the brainstem. 

“Yes! Okay, see I thought it’d be in there,” he said with another chuckle. “I usually at least try to learn the names of the girls I bring home.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the way he chose to phrase it and even more when he very clearly winced realizing how it sounded.

“We’ll chop it up to “lack of coffee” and call no hard feelings, sound fair?” I proposed as an even solution to our silly little predicament. 

“Fair, I’m Jack by the way.” he said as he came over to the couch and offered up his hand. “Nice to actually meet you Sadie,” he said. 

“Nice to meet you too,” I said with a chuckle as I shook his hand with a bit of teasing vigor. 

“Can I at least offer you breakfast before you sneak out in the middle of the morning?” He asked while still holding onto my hand. I thought it over, and remembered the time, and figured that… yeah I could probably stand to be held up for coffee and a minimal breakfast before jumping on the train. 

“Yeah, if it’s not —“

“Don’t worry about it,” Jack was quick to cut me off. He let go of my hand and wandered back over to the kitchen and I was quick to try and figure out where the hell I’d put my pants so I wasn’t having to talk across the apartment and be perceived as rude on top of whatever else one could make assumptions about a girl who’d crashed on the couch of a guy she barely knew. After being assured that the blanket was carefully tucked around me I leaned down to check under the couch and was relieved when I found them sticking out. I carefully maneuvered my body so that I could reach under the couch, grab them and carefully bend back up onto the couch so I could put them on under the blanket. When I eventually sat back up and stood. Jack was looking at me with a look of bemusement. 

“Were you…”

“No, last night me wanted to not sleep in jeans. So I must’ve haphazardly hucked them off.”

“And you managed to get them on… without getting up from under the blanket?”

“Old trick from summer camp. Trust me, you haven’t even seen half of it.” I could get dressed pretty entirely without getting up from under the covers. When Jack still looked amused I chuckled and finished walking over to where he was in the kitchen. “What? Upstate New York gets cold in the morning in the summer.” I remarked. Jack fully laughed and again, I couldn’t help but join in.

“Oh I know, I guess I’m just used to living in houses with heating too.” He said. I simply shrugged, low tech summer camps, what could you do? I watched as Jack maneuvered around his kitchen to get the coffee going from the cautious spot of his breakfast bar, trying to not take up too much space or get in the way, no one likes multiple people in a kitchen at once, it was practically a fact. “I only have milk and sugar, I hope that’s okay?”

“It’ll be fine, I’m hardly in a position to be picky,” I said as I tried to focus on something that wasn’t the way Jack’s hair was falling that made him seem… softer? than just my brain’s logical, knee jerk reaction of him being “just some guy”. I mean, of all the people that my sleep addled brain could remember, I definitely remember that Jack was one of the better looking ones. I could feel my fingers wanting to pick at my nails and the social morays of it all was pretty much the only thing holding me back from doing so. I wanted to say something, anything, pretend for one morning that I was good at socializing. The fact that I’d managed to get through last night with enough grace and charm that I had managed to score a place to crash after the friend of a friend I came with ditched me to hook up with on of the myriad of white boys that were there that night meant this morning I was praying I had enough left to at least make it through coffee.

Jack set the Keurig off to do its thing and rifled through the cupboards to try and find… something. Honestly, while I was hoping for cereal, I would’ve settled for toast, when I heard him curse someone under his breath and went over to the fridge.

“Shit.” He muttered.

“Roommate eat you out of house and home?” I said taking a shot in the dark. Jack looked over, remembering he was making coffee for two and gave me a look that read as though I’d gotten it in one. He padded back over to the breakfast bar and leaned in conspiratorially, something I couldn’t help but meet him halfway about.

“So… I might’ve lied about breakfast. My brother was supposed to go grocery shopping yesterday after practice and it looks like he forgot.” I chuckled and opened my mouth to assure him that really, it was fine, thanks for even offering, I’ll just go; but he pressed on, “there’s a spot around the corner that does… probably better than I ever could and that includes the coffee. If you want, I could… take you there?” He proposed. 

On the one hand, that was incredibly sweet and his smile was very much continuing my brain’s belief of him being endearing. Not to mention I love a good brunch spot as much as the next girly and that included a good little diner.

On the other hand, I felt gross being in yesterday’s clothes and I didn’t want to impede Jack’s ability to get on with his day. That, and the somewhat social expectation to turn down anything offered with you without an obvious way to pay back. We weren’t really friends, and we weren’t dating, so what the hell could I even do? My obvious gut reaction was to reject it, to chop it up to the fact that really, he was just being polite and there was no real reason to go with him. But then I snuck another glance at him, a little open and earnest and maybe the offer was just a genuine “let me be a good host in spite of the fact that my roommate is making that a challenge.”

“One condition,” I said and Jack nodded, “you mind if I borrow your shower? I feel super gross,” I said and Jack immediately nodded.

“Yeah, course, I’ll get you a new shirt if ya need.” He was quick to add. I smiled and thanked him as he pointed me toward where the bathroom was. It was very clear a bachelor’s bathroom, but at least they had more than one bottle of soap. So… small victories.

I was quick to wash up and thankful for the t-shirt left precariously balancing on the bathroom island that fully suggested it’d been put there without someone looking. Changing was just as fast and I came back out feeling a little less like death. I grabbed my phone and my bag from the end of the couch (ungracefully shoving my t-shirt from last night in) and met Jack where he was by the door. 

The trip to ground level was mostly quiet, with both of us seemingly trying to pick and choose what to say about all of this. I didn’t want to put any sort of anything on it, hell, I was prepared to pay should need be and blow the rest of my fun money budget for the month. 

And Jack hadn’t been lying when he said the place had been around the corner as, sure enough, the glass faced front of a quaint brunch place, Edison light bulbs and all, was in front of us. For a late Saturday morning, it wasn’t horrendous by any means. I predicted a twenty minute wait without reservations, but I was willing to be surprised. Jack got the door for me and I muttered a quiet thank you as we walked in. The front area was small so I suspected that this was probably a strict “reservation or get lucky on a walk in” place. I snuck a glance at Jack, but he didn’t seem to be fazed by any of it as he made his way over to the hostess and they had a quick exchange before menus were being grabbed and we were being led to a quiet little back booth, out of sight of the main windows. The hostess gave her usual spiel about the menus and our waiter being over in a few and we both thanked her for her time. As she left I finally looked over at Jack.

“What?”

“Does the owner owe you money or something?”

“No, but he is a fan,” he said. That made me tilt my head slightly but I was quick to shake it off. “Relax, I made reservations while you were showering. Got lucky that they had a last minute cancellation.” He said. Yeah, that seemed reasonable all things considered, so I let the topic drop and gave the menu a scan. There wasn’t a lot that didn’t appeal to me, so that was a good sign. 

“Got any recommendations?” I asked as Jack fidgeted with his fork.

“Oh, uh… the pancakes are pretty killer. And my brother swears by their waffles. But pretty much everything’s good.” He said. I nodded and adjusted my own silverware as our waiter came over and poured water. While I was of the firm belief that brunch didn’t count as brunch without mimosas, I just ordered coffee with some of their fancier fixings. We asked for a bit more time with the menus and our waiter agreed to come back with the coffee. We fell into a silence, not quite awkward but nowhere near comfortable, and I settled on biting the bullet first.

“So why New Jersey?” I asked.

“Why New Jersey?”

“Yeah, you don’t seem like you’re from around here so why’d you move to New Jersey?”

“Work,” he answered simply. My memory of the previous night was still a swirling mess of exhaustion and bright lights and a smidge too much noise, but I think I remembered that those at the table who hadn’t been with my acquaintance group were coworkers. Must be a tight knit workplace. “You?”

“School, got a scholarship.”

“What for?”

“Creative writing, not the flashiest of degrees, but it’s what I’ve always wanted to do.” I replied. 

“Working on the next Great American Novel, then?” He asked and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ah, maybe. Right now I’m fighting to try and keep my voice while meeting every professors’ wildly different expectations. It’s a… hassle.” I said. The conversation spiraled from there, breaking to order brunch, but otherwise swapping stories about his family and my schooling. What could I say, I had an odd high school experience, even by American Public School standards, and eventful friends.

By the time food came out, we’d eased up the tension by a couple points, and I only felt sort of bad when my phone vibrated insistently in my pocket. I made a gesture asking if it was chill if I got it and he nodded. I fished it out of my pocket and scanned the notification. Multiple texts from Anna, the friend I was supposed to travel home with last night, as it seems she’d finally woken up from her adventures last night. Most of them were standard, if sweet, a “did you get home”, a “sorry for ditching you”, and then finally “oh holy shit this guy is rich rich”. It was funny, and I was just about to put my phone away when I saw the last text come in.

what kind of rich as hell guy has a two bedroom? Shit, did i sleep with a married guy?

That finally got me to audibly laugh and Jack raised his eyebrow, “The friend I was supposed to get back to campus with, she just woke up and is questioning if she just became the other woman.”

“Nah, none of the guys out last night were married. What’d she look like?” He asked.

“Blonde, dark eyeliner, wearing the purple tank top,” I said. Jack then stifled a laugh.

“Ask her if the guy she went home with had poorly taken care of curls,” he said offhandedly. I did and set my phone on the table as I continued eating my brunch.

A couple minutes later my phone lit up with a notification.

yeah, that is *oddly* specific, how did you know?

“Yeah he is,”

“Oh my god,”

“What?”

“She’s at my place.”

“You’re kidding,”

“She went home with my brother, you’ve been in the same place all night,” he said and I couldn’t help but nearly double over as I started laughing. The entire reason I’d crashed was because she had ditched me and now it turns out we’d been in the same apartment the whole night.

“Oh that’s so fucking funny,” I said once I could breathe again. I shot off a text to Anna.

I’m still downtown, I’ll meet you at the train station in a half hour if you want?

deal.

I finally put my phone back in my pocket and we finished up brunch with a companionable edge. By the time the waiter came back to clear our dishes we were getting close to having to negotiate the bill.

“So…” I started to say.

“I’m paying,”

“You didn’t even—“

“I was never gonna let you pay, my mom raised me better than that.” He said. 

“At least let me cover for my coffee?”

“Sadie, don’t worry about it,” he said with a tone that got me to drop it. Like I wasn’t going to be able to win this no matter how I negotiated it. As the waiter came back with the bill and Jack handed over his card I said a quiet thanks which got a grin out of him. Brain, pick a struggle, we cannot be enamored by this boy after waking up on his couch in a first meeting we can barely remember. He finished paying and we got up to leave and I did my best to keep my internal argument off my face as we did.

I managed to make it to the street corner before I was willing to confront the fact that I had to actually leave and go back to campus, and Jack had to… wait. Hang on. 

The coffee had started to kick in and things were finally lining up. I knew I had to have gotten into school for some reason right?

“Oh shit,”

“What?” He asked with a tilt of his head and okay fine I’ll admit it brain he’s cute, but the realizations that my brain was finally having made it so that this was never going to happen again.

“You’re a Devils player,” I said as I smacked my own forehead and Jack started laughing. 

“You only just figured that out?”

“Leave me alone, I haven’t had a full night's sleep in like a week,” I joked, still covering my face a little. Jack carefully moved me out of foot traffic and gently pulled my hands away from my face.

“Is that a deal breaker?” He asked.

“What?”

“Me being a hockey player?”

“What, why?”

“Well, I thought that went well all things considered and I was gonna ask for your number to hopefully do dinner sometime.” He said with a soft smile, letting his hand fall into mine. I thought it over, between the fact that he was indeed cute, that he was nice, and funny, and asking with such an expression that seemed that, if he wasn’t trying to convince me he was cool and at least a little normal, he’d be rocking on his heels about; and the mere fact that he took me out to brunch after offering to let me crash on his couch. It was pretty much enough in the category of good signs that I was inclined to say:

“It’s not a deal breaker,” and he grinned a little wider, “besides I was going to ask for your number anyway. I have to get your shirt back somehow.” I chuckled.

“Ah, keep it, I can always buy a new one.” He joked. I passed over my phone and he put his contact in before quickly texting himself and passing it back. I chuckled at his contact photo, a terribly taken close up of him, and saw that I had a text from Anna that she was at the station already.

“I guess I’ll talk to you to figure out scheduling?” I proposed with just a hint of awkwardness. 

“Yeah, I gotta check with my brother about some things and what have you.” 

“Okay,” I said with a little chuckle of disbelief. “Thanks for brunch, by the way.” I said.

“Thank you for agreeing and not sneaking out in the middle of the morning,” he replied with a bit of a chuckle that lit up his face. There was no good way to leave this, with a promise of something stronger, but still uneasy about what one's dynamic is in the now, “can I give you a hug?” He asked.

Oh thank god.

“Yeah, yes,” I said with a stumbled out laugh as he matched it before giving me a friendly “see you around” style hug. We parted with a half wave and I started making my way back to the train station.

I made it with a bit of a light jog as Anna dragged me in the direction of the platform so we could catch the train just pulling into the station. We quickly collapsed into seats before she finally turned to me.

“So… who's this?” She asked tugging on the sleeve of the clearly borrowed t-shirt.

“The guy who’s couch I crashed on last night. I made a comment about feeling gross about being in last night's clothes that he lent me a t-shirt.” Lent, gave, I wasn’t certain I wanted to broach that topic with Anna yet. Roommate first, acquaintances second. “How ‘bout you? Did you at least get coffee?”

“Yeah, he made a comment about his roommate being out so we ordered breakfast at his place, he was so nice.” She gushed. I watched as the realization crossed her face, “wait you said you’d tell me how you knew what he looked like when we met up,” she lightly wacked my arm with the back of her hand, “spill.”

I laughed and rubbed the back of my neck, “I was at breakfast with his roommate. Also known as his brother.” I said.

“Shut up! No fucking way,” she said with a laugh. We were getting looks from a few commuters in our immediate area and I tried to quiet her down. “That’s too funny,” she said in a slightly quieter tone. “Are you seeing him again?”

“Are you?” I countered.

“Maybe, he gave me his number, but I’m not certain.” She said, “Now tell me you coward,”

“Maybe,” I countered and she groaned at my dramatics.

“Insufferable, you fink.” She joked. I grinned a little as we continued some small talk before I agreed to let her rest on my shoulder until we got to the campus’ stop. 

I fished my phone out and figured that I should probably try and organize a date huh?

[goldenshrikecomic]

Your most recent response about not really having an overall message for your stories and how some stories don’t need simple messages or themes kinda put some thoughts of mine at ease.

I’ve been developing my own webcomic and I never had a message in mind for it. I’m not much of an experienced writer and when I remembered messages and themes a while back, I was worried about mine not really having any. Cuz I thought a theme or messages would be needed for a coherent story, and I just didn’t really have any in mind. I have a hard time boiling stories or characters down to just simple words to describe them. I’m not aiming for perfection in my story obviously, there’s nothing really deep about it and it’s not meant to be a commentary on something or anything like that, but I want it to be at least somewhat decent and enjoyable so I’ve been worried about this for quite a while. Worried that not having an intended message or theme would make my story inconsistent or something.

So to hear that Golden Shrike wasn’t made with a message in mind, and that that’s not a bad thing, helped ease those worries for me. So thank you. Also I like that Corpse’s messages and meanings are up to interpretation. I think it works best that way.

I've never ever been worried about messages in my stories. It's not a thought that has ever crossed my mind even, I just trust that if I make something, it'll mean something. I don't like explaining art, or character motivations, I don't like putting in words what I'm doing in other ways. A lot of my musing happens subconsciously, and often I don't even care to explain it to myself. It's a feeling! I follow the feeling. You know the solution to the math problem but you don't want or know how to write down the calculation.

If you want to make a story and feel it's worth telling, it won't be empty. Stories don't have to be deep, just like they don't need to be sad or happy either. Sure you'll have to give it enough context for others to enjoy it, but I find the thought of having to come up with a theme or message, and then building from there, distressing.

Though of course, if there's an edgy person there who thinks hehehe i'll make this horrible story very clearly glorifying a horrible thing and then I can just say there's no message, you can take it as you want! It'll just tell more about the person than their work.

Again, I don't really feel qualified enough to give advice you should take straight to heart. These are just things I believe in.

[the-nado-hunter]

Random Hetalia character head cannons/hc histories and characterizations that float in my brain but I’ve never written down - starting with England, America and Germany since I’ve thought about them the most lol:

England:

- Was the reverse of Alfred where he actually physically and emotionally aged much slower than most nations. He was barely not a teenager when he first took in Alfred (and his other “kids” by extension) when he was not at all ready/had even fully matured himself.

- I have a hc that nations who “get too big” (meaning the territory under their name grows) they kind of lose themselves and get less distinct and coherent in their motivations and sometimes don’t feel themselves at all, too many voices in their head so to speak. Unfortunately Arthur “lost it” during a pivotal part of his relationship with his family, hence all his strained relationships.

- Once he took on those responsibilities he suddenly jumped in physical age a bit. So while Alfred sees him as being SO much older (calling him an old man) his time in the nation equivalence of life stages was uneven and all over the place.

- it wouldn’t be until the 60s/70s/80s that Arthur had the time and ability to “make up for lost time” hence his musical and punk phases. He finds himself in some ways.., also likely dissolves into addiction problems at the same time.

- In the modern era he still has many anger issues but he’s a lot more calm and sure of himself, however he’s got a built up emotional wall and a whole lot of hidden self hatred that’s going to take a long long time to resolve, and he isn’t quite there yet and tends to lash out and push people away rather than deal with things.

America:

- He was very sheltered by Arthur at first, he was kept out of almost everything for most of his early life. If Arthur wasn’t present (which he often wasn’t due to the two having vastly different understandings of the passing of time) there were people hired and cycled out to take care of him. He can’t help himself though, even if he’s being treated like a sheltered little prince he wants to go run free in the fields and get into shit. He’s basically a Disney princess in his early life is what I’m saying lol.

- reality hits him like a ton of bricks when he’s roughly looking/acting about 14-15. He realizes likely through being exposed to other nations starting to come in and managing to slip out to talk to people just how much has been hidden from him and the resentment grows. And he starts REALLY growing even faster.

- Despite all that he went full on into a “fight” coping mechanism and never stopped. He put on a “mask” at one point in his life and it hasn’t come off. He’s never really deeply dealt with anything so he progressively seems more and more obtuse and seemingly arrogant to overcompensate for not wanting to face any sort of pain.

- He’s deeply deeply lonely and desperately wants closeness and to open up- yet at the same time the idea of seeming “weak” or “vulnerable” is terrifying to him. Him and Arthur are more similar than they would like to admit with how they mask and push people away despite really REALLY needing love and closeness.

Germany:

- it depends on if you accept the “Germany is HRE” theory or not, but either way I tend to think they at least have the same body but might be different entities or ‘spirits’ so to speak. That being said I imagine Ludwig specifically not only was “born” into a body that was preexisting and therefore already past a decent part of childhood, I imagine that his body was at first incredibly weak, frail, and he was very sickly for quite some time.

- I’ve written a fic about this, but I personally hc Ludwig from about 6-15 years old in appearance being almost completely unable to walk and needing braces and assistance to get around. His brother obviously loves and cares about him, but Ludwig couldn’t help but feel frustrated and like a burden. He really does look up to his big brother and is worried about being weak and reliant on others for the rest of his life.

- Ludwig GETS his strength, and as soon as he’s able to walk on his on he becomes obsessed with being as strong and capable as he possibly can be. He wants to never have to rely on anyone again, feeling an odd sense of guilt for needing so much help.

- he’s, in the end… kind of socially inept. Gilbert isn’t exactly the pinnacle of a socialized man himself - So despite being mostly independent and capable he doesn’t really understand social situations, or how to understand himself and others. Feliciano is both jarring and someone I think he becomes interested in him because Feli is capable in something he never has been and really is teaching him a lot.

- Unfortunately Ludwig had in face overcompensated for his past feelings of being a burden he’s taken so much on and has become such a protector that he’s almost unable to set boundaries and say no to requests to take on extra work- malicious or not.

- we already know Ludwig tends to explode and bark directions at people, to me it’s always been a clear sign of how much stress he’s under- but he winds up just appearing scary and he once again takes on more responsibilities and feelings of “something must be wrong with me”.

- i think many in the fandom have joked about it but Ludwig to me is SO repressed and SO gay it’s not even funny

-I would expect poor Ludwig to hit a breaking point and have a nervous breakdown eventually, which I do want to write at some point, just gotta not procrastinate lol

[wannaeatramyeon]

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

[crooked-wasteland]

How would you rank every HB episode from worst to best?

This took me some time to think on, but thank you for the ask.

So all the Helluva Boss episodes ranked worst to best (in my opinion):

The Circus

I have to place the season 2 premiere as the worst episode of the entire series, simply because it cemented the direction the story was going to go with all of the worst ideas floating to the top. The relationship mystery between Stolas and Blitz gets watered down to a childhood crush based on nothing. It is love at first sight, but then the writing performs gymnastics in order to justify Stolas’ attraction after the fact. It’s so painful in Seeing Stars and Oops how the writers really want us to believe that Stolas liked him as a person first and that is supposed to be shown in how Stolas thinks Blitz is funny when no one else does, but the series of events in the Circus will forever undermine that narrative. He finds Blitz funny because he is attracted to him. Not the other way around.

Aside from the issues with the overarching story, the entire structure of the episode fails. The idea of Chekhov’s Gun is one I believe holds merit as a fundamental tool. If you are going to introduce something like theft, acknowledge the danger of the event, repeatedly draw attention to the theft, and then just never mention any sort of natural conclusion to that plot point. If anything, Blitz returning to Stolas’ home 25 years later to do the exact same thing, necessitated a coming full circle moment of that particular plot point. The failure to identify even the most basic of narrative principles that was a solid through line of character, story and themes told me everything I needed to know about how the series was going to be handled.

Stolas’ song is a poorly-performed nonsensical word salad that I found lacked any cohesion to the character in the previous episode or the next. It’s an ugly song with maybe 2 decent verses where Stolas acknowledges that this was all playing pretend, but that eventually goes nowhere.

Additionally, Stella was officially ruined as a character, which ultimately ruined Stolas as a character. By not giving Stella depth, Stolas was also stripped of any depth or complexity. His reason for staying is dumbed down to “for the child”, and Stella’s motivation is thrown out the window in favor of “she’s awful and please don’t try to make her understandable, because then what if Stolas is held accountable for anything?” Stella is too important a character in Stolas’ story, to make her one dimensional is to make Stolas less interesting. Everything is interwoven in a story, pulling a thread in one place unravels the garment elsewhere.

In a single episode, it encompasses everything that is wrong with the series, past and future.

0/10

Seeing Stars

To be honest, I feel Seeing Stars is most people’s worst episode due to some sense of denial when the season premiered and expected the show to at least continue with some kind of coherent story/timeline. I don’t think it would be as hated if Medrano had tightened up the narrative and made Seeing Stars connect to Ozzie’s more.

However, I would still put it at number 2, even if it had. Mainly because Seeing Stars is the worst sense of characterization and dynamics I have ever seen. And when you are trying to sell a character-driven story, some kind of consistency is required. This episode cemented Loona as being an abusive, manipulative, and entitled “bitch” of a person. Octavia is written like she is 13, not 17. Blitz and Stolas have the darkest timeline where Stolas continues to sexualize Blitz after being told off in the last episode and seemingly acknowledging that he defined the dynamic without any input from Blitz. Then forces him on stage despite Blitz being on the verge of a panic attack. But most of all, it has Stolas and Blitz both completely forget why they are even in this situation, because they are supposed to be looking for Octavia.

There was no lesson Blitz needed to learn, if anything he needed to be instilled with more self esteem where possible. And Stolas already had this story arc done much better in Loo Loo Land. His character actively regresses to redo the exact plot thread, but worse. Much like The Circus, Seeing Stars set the stage for what we could look forward to in regards to the series from here on out, and the utter disrespect leveled at the original 6 episodes.

That’s not even counting how the episode is the exact same plot and story beats as Loo Loo Land, highlighting the extent of how creatively bankrupt the series is.

.5/10

Exes and Ohs

If it comes to personal most hated episode, it would be Exes and Ohs for me. The only reason it is number 3 and not number 1 is because it is a narrative cul-de-sac where the larger story is not affected by it at all.

However, it is still an objectively awful episode. Starting with the premise. The whole plot is a stolen South Park joke. It’s the Steal underpants episode, stretched out into something longer, and not nearly as funny. If you are wholesale ripping off another show, that’s plagiarism. This episode is creatively bankrupt, shouldn’t exist, has no purpose and serves no benefit. People try to argue that it has value due to Moxxie’s backstory, but what does it even serve? Sure, I know it now, but not a single character does. Millie doesn’t even find out. Even moreso, Millie’s entire connection to Chaz goes nowhere and is for nothing. We never know how, when or why she dated Chaz, it's shown she hates him, but she doesn’t even kill him. The whole episode would have ended exactly the same with Crim killing Chaz once he realized the shark demon was lying about having money.

It’s not good when the major complaints of the episode are actually what is saving it from being the worst episode.

2/10

Musical Special

The retconning of this episode, changing who Fizz was as a child to try and justify his uselessness in Oops retroactively is beyond frustrating. There is so much I could go on about in terms of character, but just focusing on this episode.

Mainly, the mildly perturbing extent Medrano goes to hetero-normalize her queer relationships. Every single relationship in the series is stereotypically designed as “Protector” and “Protected”. Stolas, Fizzarolli, and Moxxie are all characters who require constant support and protection from other factors in the plot.

Stolas needed to be protected from Striker. Moxxie needs to be protected from most things in his plots. Season 1 it was the fish monster, Striker, the agents, and finally Ozzie and Fizz. Season 2 we have him needing to be defended from his father and Chaz.

This episode it's all about Fizzarolli and him needing to be defended from his crippling low self-esteem that is only relevant to have him needing to be saved from something. The flashback serves to further retcon Fizz’s personality because a strong and confident performer doesn’t need to be saved from anyone, and in order to have the codependent romance where Fizz needs Ozzie, we need to fundamentally weaken him as a person. It’s a special episode, so the argument that it doesn’t need to exist is rather moot. Regardless, the characters and story are worse off for its addition to the narrative.

2/10

Queen Bee

Another special episode, so the argument of narrative value is once again disregarded. I dislike this episode for how one dimensional every female character is in this story. It highlights all the ongoing issues with misogynistic writing. Loona’s character is a wildly swinging pendulum from being antagonistic towards Blitz to being endeared with little motivation and ultimately being reduced to the caretaker of men. When she and Bee get into an argument, she only deescalates when she sees Tex be uncomfortable. The initial hostility itself is founded on nothing, Loona is immediately resentful of Bee because she’s attractive and people like her, specifically Tex. And her being sweet towards Blitz is entirely based on the fact that her relationship to him makes her look good due to his accomplishment of beating Beelzebub in a drink-off. It doesn’t read sincere, but rather she would look bad if she didn’t take care of him after identifying him as her “dad” when it suited her.

This entire episode works to assassinate Loona’s character and any hope of her being likable and growing. Everything about her motivation is purely selfish and consistently reinforced in big ways, so moving forward it will be very hard to realistically prove she does anything for not her own benefit.

The song was nice for about one minute, then it became unbearably repetitive.

1.5/10

Western Energy

This episode was altered and rewritten, which doesn’t inherently make it bad. It’s just that it was changed due to fans pointing out the glaring plot hole that is why Stella would want to kill Stolas when a divorce would benefit her more. Instead of critically assessing that question and focusing more on world building to create a logical justification for Stella’s actions, the writers shrug their shoulders and just can’t think of anything. It’s a special form of fridge horror as a writer to realize the major plot that was intended to push Blitz and Stolas closer together was so underdeveloped that when at all questioned resulted in the entire plot being unwritten. It’s transparently bad writing, but worse yet is that it is lazy.

This episode is what I use to show an example of how fans inject headcannon and plot into the series that the creators have no interest in spending the energy on. This isn’t James Cameron’s Avatar where there is a massively rich world around a lackluster story that has been crafted with such detail that it feels alive. Helluva Boss, and in extension Hazbin Hotel, have no world building and resort to the most superficial answers to any narrative roadblock at the expense of the characters and understanding their motivations. It shows resentment for not just the audience, but writing as an artform.

3/10

Ozzie's (with season 2 context)

I had to put Ozzie’s on the list twice due to this episode in specific having vastly different reads and reception before and after season 2 premiered. After The Circus, the episode loses all continuity with the original season. Stolas is pining and lovesick over Blitz, he doesn’t actually care about his wife and daughter leaving him. He just wishes more than anything to have his rugged peasant return his affections.

It is a plummet of quality and character in this episode that only comes to fruition with the understanding that Stolas has had an unreciprocated crush for two and a half decades.

With the context of season 2, Stolas doesn’t actually care about his daughter and how his affair, the marriage falling apart, their status, etc. affected her and his family. He only cares about the little boy he got a crush on, who his father rented out like a Lexus and then 25 years later Stolas demanded sex from. Stolas has a complete personality change and isn’t at all who he was the entire series to this point. Everything you thought mattered to him doesn’t, the ways we have come to expect this character to react to things is suddenly entirely different. His expectations are unexplainable and so far out to left field than what we previously established. This is one of the worst written episodes based on the major retconning of a keystone character and no effort being made to connect these changes in the narrative.

This was the warning shot we didn’t know we were given.

1/10

Spring Broken

Spring Broken to Unhappy Campers are the range of utterly ambivalence I have.

The song is poorly incorporated into the episode. Verosika isn’t ever fleshed out. Tex and Loona start off cute, and you can see a starting point of a dynamic between Loona and Blitz and you want her to treat him better while also recognizing that he infantalizes her constantly and doesn’t ever treat her like the adult she is. Could have been really good writing if it went anywhere. This episode establishes Loona abuses Blitz and does so intentionally because it gets her her way. It isn’t malicious, but immature and incredibly cruel, and there is a desire to see her become a better person and grow from this point.

Too bad.

4/10

C.H.E.R.U.B

I know this episode gets a ton of criticism for being a joke/filler episode that goes too long. And that is absolutely correct. However it is still better in that being filler, it is not seeking to be anything more than it is. It is just some dumb fun with a few jokes that come anywhere close to landing. But it doesn’t harm the characters or their stories, unlike the rest of the list up to this point

3/10

Oops

This episode is a hard one to place because I consider the first 7 of this list to be bad episodes. Then 8-12 are those that aren’t good with varying scales of enjoyment on my part. However I think Oops is neither good nor enjoyable. But it has some good story ideas that deserve some credit, regardless of how the writing and pacing consistently tries to undermine them.

The scene of Blitz and Fizzarolli in the alleyway is contrived and feels confused, but it does manage to land some points such as Fizz’s insecurity of being owned by his partner (too bad that goes nowhere and is immediately ignored in favor of Fizz NEEDS Ozzie, so essentially ownership is good actually) and Fizz hanging Blitz’s insecurity and guilt over his head.

The forced engagement, rapid fire pacing, and immediate resolution thoroughly dismantles any good points the episode started to set up. I have to admit the animation is pretty solid, people worked very hard on this for less pay than this quality deserves. But this episode struggles to find a place it belongs on my list because. It almost sees the light only to bury its head in the sand writing-wise.

2/10

Unhappy Campers

Unhappy Campers sits in the same pool with Oops and how it is objectively a terrible episode, but the portions involving Blitz and Barbie are genuinely interesting and I think relatively well done when compared to the rest of the season. Millie has some fun moments herself, though the whole portion of the episode surrounding her and Moxxie could have been cut and it would only serve to elevate the material overall. So even if she is the best part of the worst portion of the story, it still isn’t something I deem worth salvaging.

It would have been an excellent 5 minute episode.

2/10

Murder Family

It’s the first episode. It did well reintroducing the characters from the pilot. It had enough intrigue to see where it would go and how it would expand the world and characters. It. Was genuinely fun and impressive for a YouTube animation, with horror notes and black comedy. There was a sense of character that we could maybe get to know over time and see them struggle and change. It started off very superficial, which was fine.

The blank canvas of what could have been.

5/10

Ozzie's (Before season 2)

Having to remember Ozzie’s premiere after an entire season of thinking we were getting to know the characters, their dynamics, personality, wants, etc. So the personality change in Stolas is given more leeway as LooLooLand set up that he really wished he could find love and his wife and daughter leaving has changed his routine to the point he is in a depression. It even seems Stella took the staff with her in the separation and he’s genuinely all alone.

So him sitting in front of a television asking why nobody will love him makes sense and doesn’t feel out of character when given the room to rationalize and try to piece together the character from past instances. Additionally, him becoming overjoyed at Blitz calling him out is just as easy to rationalize away. I recall watching the episode and interpreting that Stolas was needy, desperate and earnest, not for Blitz, but just in general. And Blitz making himself available to Stolas is why Stolas tries so hard to make this pretend date legitimate. It also explains Blitz’s own utter disinterest in the scenario.

Ironically, looking back, Blitz feels like an Audience insert with how utterly confused and dismissive he is of Stolas’ targeted affection. He sees their relationship like the audience does: one of convenience and mutual benefit. Blitz calling Stolas out is him cashin in on this messed up coercive sex deal they have. Him calling Stolas out and using him for his own gains is only seen as fair in his eyes. And Stolas’ attempts to legitimize the date is a continuation of his own hedonistic selfishness. So when Stolas tries to leave Blitz or otherwise removes himself by covering his face, Blitz’s anger and resentment is valid. Because there’s a lot of confusion taking place at the moment, but Stolas is responsible for all of it and instead runs away.

The exact same escapist behavior that ended up with him in bed with Blitz in the first place.

This is all really compelling drama and without the codependent neediness of the second season, it ties together in what feels like a real season finale for the characters. Everything up to now was a prologue, an introduction of the world, characters and conflicts. Ozzie actually took the characters and faced them off against each other directly. Showing all of their worst traits and building more intrigue to Blitz’s past and his relationships. This was an episode of great potential when it was first released.

7/10

Loo Loo Land

I’ll be honest, the more I think on this episode the more I believe its placement is more out of pettiness than actual quality. While a song that made me invested at the time, You Will Be Okay is a poorly written musical song. Specifically in how it fails to actually build on the themes we were having presented. Because if you really listen to it, the song foreshadows how little Stolas actually cares about Octavia.

The only part of the song that builds character is the one when he speaks of how his marriage is cold and loveless and how “all [his] stories have been told, except for one.” Which one would think that untold story has something to do with Octavia. He’s singing the song for her, to her. He’s presumably alluding to the fact that she’s his only joy in life.

But the very next line is talking about Armageddon. Like the end of everything, the death of the universe, some heavenly judgement. That’s why everyone and their off brand YouTube clone was talking about Stolas dying at some point in the series. Because the song fails to adequately communicate the character and his feelings and how that wraps into the plot. It’s a pretty song to the ears, but fails as a musical.

Additionally, I feel I may still have such a soft spot for this episode in how it often contradicts the current direction the story has attempted to go. Details, dialogue, timeline discrepancies, all of that has continued to hinder the second season in trying to retcon the entire story to this lesser version of itself and Loo Loo land as an episode is just so tightly written that it has become a thorn.

All the portions with Blitz and RoboFizz are great. Great character, great foreshadowing (to nothing unfortunately), great pacing. Those scenes have some legitimately funny jokes. Stolas stole the show it seems, much to the series detriment, but the real stellar parts of the episode were for once the actual main character.

6/10

Truth Seekers

This episode would have been my favorite due to Blitz’s bad trip and the animation involved throughout. However, the fact that the show has entirely dropped the relevant and interesting portions of the episode, overused and abused Stolas’ demon design since this episode, and the animators have since been confirmed to not be paid fairly for the work they do, this gets to be number 2.

Like Loo Loo Land, Truth Seekers is a primary source of contradiction in the new direction the story has gone and a constant reminder of how little work has been put into the narrative. It’s one of the strongest episodes of the series as a whole, but it has been almost entirely retconned.

I have seen some mention of the agents returning to the story and if that does come to pass, this will be hilarious in trying to reconcile what parts of Truth Seekers is canon and what isn’t any longer. And the realization that all the best parts are the ones ending up on the cutting room floor.

7/10

Harvest Moon

Striker was an intimidating figure. Genuinely. There was a real sense of weight to this episode in the animation and visual storytelling. It’s a solid episode for what it is and far and above better than even Truth Seekers because it required Medrano and her staff to actually address the episode and make obvious efforts to retcon it. That is how solid an episode this is.

Stolas is not too creepy and dominating, but nor is he seen as the delicate princess who is always crying over some guy who doesn’t return his feelings. He is fun, and it starts the nudge towards maybe something a bit more amicable on Blitz’s end.

Millie absolutely deserved more time for her character seeing as they were staying with her family and she having an episode of standing by her husband and defending her choices in who she loves would have been far more engaging than Murder Family pt. 2, Moxxie lacks confidence and self esteem forever and always.

The song was so inconsequential. It was a funny segue with Striker basically upstaging Moxxie at every turn, but that doesn’t actually go anywhere when in regards to the plot overall.

And Stella putting a hit on her husband, to his face, was hilarious and would have been so interesting to have seen it played more than a joke. Like Stolas knows she wants to kill him, and he is just vaguely fine with that. Maybe thinking his letting her try to kill him would have her stay and not file for divorce. Have it been this macabre comedic sitcom where she’s always trying to kill him and hates his guts for being a subpar husband, but he takes it as some kind of tit-for-tat and plays along with it. She gets to send assassins after him, he gets to have sex with his rugged assassin imp. It’s a ridiculous level of absurdity that still allows for all the characters to be dimensional.

That got a little away from me there. Basically, this episode was the strongest overall. Animation wise, writing wise, story potential wise. This episode is the most solid Helluva Boss episode.

7.8/10

[cigarettesandinevitablebetrayal]

WIP Wednesday (Just a Day Late)

So, I lied. When @idlenight tagged me with this, I wasn't really working on anything enough to show off at the time. It's been [checks calendar] about 20 days since then, but I'm actually making decent progress on some of my works now, so here are some excepts for a few.

Stand Tall for the Beast (Ch2: Charge)

“You still haven't even told me why you're doing this?” Panting has become full on gasping as he runs ever lower on steam. He really doesn't have the strength to stall, but there are no other options. “All this destruction and for what? What did you even gain?”

The armored villain doesn't seem to have the same problem. There's no hint of fatigue through the voice modulator as they say, "This wasn't for me. This was to send a message."

Ricardo winces as a blow glances off his dislocated arm. He needs to put space between them, but every jump back is pursued, every inch taken by the behemoth trying to take him apart. Another scan across the crowd. Still no Argent.

"A message?" The smoke and dust is starting to get to him. His throat burns, eyes stinging, and he stifles a cough. "Not very coherent. I don't think I get it."

A shift in the villain's weight spikes Ricardo's heart up and he turns on the balls of his feet. No more being coy about it, he needs to run. Hard metal crashes into his spine, knocking the breath out of him with the scream it pulls from his lips. The roll he folds into is a messy mistake. His form is off and the way it jostles his arm makes his vision go white.

Get up. He needs to get up. And then he is, weightless and half limp as sharp edged fingers take hold of his collar and lift him upright. His knees scrape the pavement, his nice trousers torn beyond saving. The villain leans down until the mirror mask is inches from his face, reflecting back a mix of blood and dirt and fear. For a split second, Ricardo is on his knees in a different time, surrounded by similar destruction and grime. Machinery and gore glaring down at him, telling him to beg as he pressed his hand against the ragged tear in his abdomen.

But there is no blood in the villain's fangs and their voices are less discordant than the Catastrofiend's had been. "It isn't meant for you, either," they growl.

Try to Stop This Feeling

Ortega doesn't flinch when an electric shock jumps between his fingers and his apartment lock as he turns the key. He should've turned his mods off, but reason told him that he'd best keep them on if he's inviting Xiao into his home. Best to be on his guard with a known criminal. And yet he can't quite stifle the growing excitement of inviting him in. When's the last time he had a date in his own home?

He knows the answer to that immediately and it takes real effort to keep the easy smile on his face. Dark eyes framed by long lashes and even darker curls flash through his mind. He shakes his head to dispel the thought of Rashad. That was a lifetime and a death away and they've made it clear that whatever spark had been between them, dragging them on late night motorcycle rides and early morning coffee and mid day spars, is gone. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Even when Rashad's hands still linger on his and their eyes find his when they think he's not looking at them, when the way he says Ricardo's name makes something deep in his chest ache-

He needs to stop thinking about Rashad.

Instead, he turns his eyes to Xiao, who dips his head slightly as he walks in. It's a weird quirk of his, though even in his heels, he doesn't approach the top of the frame. He brushes his hair back from his face as he looks around. It looks freshly dyed, silver and shiny, and Ricardo wonders again how he manages to keep it that color without frying his hair.

Untitled Gift (Sidestep Redacted)

Ricardo tries not to resent the way Daniel seems to be ever encroaching on their old habits and hobbies, things shared only between Ricardo and Sidestep for so long that he'd gotten it in his head that it was their thing, and how quickly, as well. But it's unfair to be grouchy about the whole ordeal on Daniel's birthday.

It's technically the third of Daniel's birthday celebrations and the only that's clearly to celebrate it with Sidestep specifically. Perhaps that's why they're so nervous, their fingers fiddling with the dishware. Or maybe it's the card enveloped in teal, sitting on the coffee table next to Ricardo's gift wrapped in traditional shiny sky blue. Ricardo steals another glance at it through the breakfast nook.

There's a bite of bitterness on his tongue that he swallows down quickly, returning his attention to clearing the food from the cookery. It's an ugly beast in his head, thinking about how well Daniel and Sidestep seem to get along. They move around each other fluidly, handing things to each other with almost instinctive grace and sense of spatial awareness. Is it the lack of static and shields that gives them that edge so quickly? Or is it the natural synergy that develops when people spar regularly. He knows Sidestep's been training Daniel for months now.

Untitled Hauville Birthday Prompt

Julian blinks down at the mess of yarn hastily sewn together scarf in his hands, his jaw working as he tries to find exactly how to say what he wants without hurting Tina's feelings. She stands in front of him, only slightly wringing her wrists, as she waits for him to respond. He must take too long to think, because she sighs in the next second. "You hate it, don't you?"

"I didn't say that," Julian protests. He runs his thumbs across the yarn sutures, thick lines disrupting and squashing the pattern of falling leaves together like a puckered scar. They're the wrong texture as well as being slightly the wrong color and Felix is bound to notice. "I just thought it would look better."

Tina crosses her arms, "I never said I could make it good as new again."

Julian fights the urge to roll his eyes, instead taking a deep breath. "You said you were crafty," he says slowly, keeping his tone level.

"Yeah like 'I can figure it out' crafty, not like 'I can crochet'!" Tina throws her arms out wide. She only looks half as frustrated as she sounds.

I'm tagging @disastersteps, @autistic-sidestep, @silvery-bluish, @swordsandspectacles, @serenpedac, @salem-wilde, and @idlenight right back because I'm sure you're working on something new. No pressure if y'all aren't up to it

[sapphorror]

Now that you have read the ZimVoid arc, what are your toughts on Zib and Za2r (Zib❤Zim2[2im{twoim}])?

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!! alright, maybe I was definitely going to say this all anyway, but now I have a decent excuse to braindump it all at once instead of trying to write, I don't know, coherent analysis.

Yeah, I'm obsessed with this guy. I'm still only just starting to build a proper 3D model of him in my head, so don't take anything I rave about here too seriously, but my god is Zib something else. Also, really cute. No one told me he'd be cute and I wasn't at all equipped to deal with what I got. I was operating under the assumption he was going to be at least a LITTLE cool, but this is the most pathetic wet meow meow of a character I have ever seen, and that is no small statement.

(Also also, is it just me, or does the way Zib's drawn remind anyone else of rubber hose animation like, moreso than the comics artstyle generally does? I can't quite pin down what's making it feel that way, but I like it. Gives him Vibes™, y'know?)

Anyway. Fusions like Zib are always going to be fun, just for what they imply about their component characters and the game of trying to identify what characteristics come from where. And Zib is especially fun for this because Zim and Dib are such similar people to begin with. It honestly doesn't surprise me that the Zimfluence went initially unnoticed by our Dib, not just because he's more prone to cognitive bias than he likes to believe, but because there are so many overlapping traits between these two guys that Zib wasn't so much altered by the fusion as he was exacerbated. They blend seamlessly to the point it's really hard to pick out where one ends and the other begins, and in a different kind of story, Dib might actually be forced to reflect on what that implies about him and his motivations. As is, he's just going to keep fooling himself, though.

Probably the most obvious dichotomy between them, at least where it applies to Zib, is motive, and that definitely brings up some interesting questions. When he chooses to take over the Earth, is that the Zim side disguised by Dib-passing justifications, or does it say a whole lot more about Dib's actual loyalty to the Earth against his loyalty to opposing Zim than anyone would really like it to? How about the total lack of internal conflict when it comes to decimating the Armada and wrecking the Irken Empire? What does that say about Zim's ultimate loyalties?

Granted, I am at this point pretty certain Zib didn't just put on the PAK and call it a day, I think he took precautionary measures to ensure that the Dib half remained the 'dominant' personality, given that in 10 Minutes to Doom we see him completely subsumed by Zim's coding, so this isn't a perfect equal split. But it is still a split—Zib clearly did not have the foresight to account for everything, if he even wanted to—and the fact he prepared himself for this is itself interesting, because it means the decision was premeditated, not done on a whim during some momentary mental break. This might even be why he's half-Irken; instead of the PAK altering his biology, maybe Zib altered his biology so it could survive the long-term integration of the PAK. And isn't it just insane to imagine any version of Dib willingly body-horroring himself like that, stripping away his own humanity? When he accused our Dib of being just another ignorant human, could that maybe be a sign that he didn't want to have anything in common with those people anymore?

None of this is what really gets me about Zib, though. This is.

Admittedly, I'm sort of predisposed here, because I have this whole Thing about Dib's unfaltering belief he can somehow prove himself to humanity, despite all evidence to the contrary, being in essence identical to Zim's delusion that he's already adored by all... that's it's whole own post, tbh, but my point is Dib's ostracization wouldn't be solved by exposing Zim, and it's fun to see that explicitly confirmed.

But it's also more specific than that. Because what Zib was forced to realize here is that he destroyed the only person capable of actually caring about him. And that's why the Zimvoid is the Zimvoid, isn't it? Zib could've used those portals to escape anywhere or lure in anything, but instead he does this. Part of that's the obsessive need to succeed where he'd previously failed and decimate the Armada (+ repeatedly 'defeat' Zim because he's still too emotionally stunted to understand that's not actually what he needs), and I think all of that is important, but there's also something to be said about how deeply driven Dib is by the desire for external validation, and here he went and fused himself with the one person in the universe who might be even more love-hungry than he is. Zib's not afraid of being alone simply because he dislikes isolation—I mean, even within the Zimvoid, he still physically and ESPECIALLY emotionally isolates himself from the other Zims. Being the only person left in his reality means there's no one to admire his greatness, and given who he's a combination of, of course that's his worst nightmare. And ridiculous as it may be, he understands that Zim is the only person who's ever given him that kind of attention. So why not make a whole planet of them? Why not trick them into idolizing him? I mean, who else could even matter besides Zim?

Also? This one's sort of auxiliary to the last point, but there is something deeply, deeply sexy and thematically chewy in Dib wanting/needing Zim so badly that he quite literally became him, and that not being enough. I mean, what is the Zimvoid but a huge collector's display? And it's exactly this that makes him the architect of his own ultimate tragedy. I have a thing for characters who damn themselves not through any single choice, but by passing up a million little opportunities to save themselves, totally confident in their decisions right up til the moment it actually is too late. He could've used those portals to escape to another timeline. He could've designed the Zimvoid as anything other than a ticking timebomb of lies, conflict, and an ever inflating population of lunatics. He could've given up on his destructive plans and just enjoyed the huge fucked up harem he built for himself. He could've quit while he was ahead.

And the really funny thing is, even after the collapse of the Zimvoid, his total isolation is still a consequence of his own actions. I mean, the Zim from his own timeline literally cannot be taken away from him through any method short of murder. He's still right there. But by winning, by possessing his Zim to the point of consumption, Zib defeated the entire purpose of having Zim in the first place. They'll never be separated, and that's exactly the reason why he'll always be alone.

As for ZA2R... hm. I'm not sure if I have much to say about them just yet, but suffice to say I am Deeply Compelled. I'm always weak for that (false) god x worshipper dynamic. It's about someone as lonely and broken and closed off as Zib finding out the hard way that they're still capable of genuine love, no matter how bad they are at it, and there's something very special in every Zim's desire to be someone's favorite being so specifically exploited. I mean, the dynamic of highest subordinate is essentially identical to the one Zim likes to imagine he has with the Tallest, only actually real. Dishonest and exploitative, to be sure, but still real. And hey, important question, but what about #2's personal Dib and the fact Zib is always going to be implicitly competing against the person actually cosmically destined for his partner, because he fucked his own cosmic destiny up so badly? Or the inevitable spectacle of Dib's semi-latent yandere tendencies being brought to bear against himself?

Also! Shameless Homestuck chatter, but I take so much joy in pale ZADR dynamics (black diamond romance my beloved), and the fun thing about ZA2R is that their default pacifier/pacified dynamic swaps. In, uh, normal person terms, they've managed to contrive themselves a situation in which Zim is actually the comparatively sane/stable one, keyword comparatively, and being worked to death about it. There's nothing I love more than a justified role reversal, y'know?

THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT FOR NOW but like I've been thinking about these guys nonstop for 24 hours already, I WILL be losing my mind about them again. I don't know when, I don't know how, but it's gonna happen.

[narwhalandchill]

(soo ignition teaser thoughts ig)

hmmmm im ngl the trailer itself as a like prelude to what is coming in 5.0 intrigue and plot wise is like. compared to the region teasers that came before w lazzo and overture. its just. its kinda bad im sorry KWKJKWDJKWDJK like okay cool seeing the new cast and production value is high as always (+ music) but its such a middling teaser for the story itself?? it feels like a powerpoint presentation of the cast more than anything narratively coherent with an inherent draw and mystery

like theres mavuika speaking to the flame thingy (xbalanque that u? "one entombed in the primal fire" perhaps????) with some intrigue i suppose as well as her brief thing w capitano. ororon also appearing to be working together or aligned with capitano given theyre standing together there which could make for an interesting plot thread but beyond that its very.... eh. its not giving us a lot to grip onto ya know???? and thats rly a shame especially since i also felt that way abt the teaser in the 4.8 livestream. i wish we got more

and sure theres a tournament wahoo but like. its really Not helping to hype up that thing when half the introduced cast isnt being like "OMG the tournament!!!!1!1 this is HUGE!!!1" (or even. "oh no this is BAD!!!1" to set up basic conflict. like why would they dread it?) but instead just. "oh right... the tournament 🙄🙄" like who thought that was a good idea 😭😭 if the PEOPLE of natlan dgaf abt the big plot event happening then how am i as the viewer supposed to feel majorly invested in it . wow theyre tossing a ball around . wow nobody wants it guess ur tournament is having a bit of a PR issue in the making mavuika lmao

anyway i wouldnt even call myself a true capitano glazer despite being a fatuiHQ enjoyer on the side but like. that hmph still carried welcome capHIMpeaktano truly o7 JWDJWDJKDWJK also did yall see the. anemo-ish turquoise flare when mavuika is confronting (?) him? wonder if thats a thing with her flames or is it implying cap as anemo or sth.... i think itd fit him decent enough but ya. looking forward to HIM for sure

(+ congrats to him for losing the goofy timbs from arles animated short lmao like his design looks so fucking sick now)

character design wise uhhhh. well theres the obvious huge fucking issue here and while id say that hoyo p much already showed their true colors on the matter with sumeru that doesnt rly. make it any less disappointing and egregious wrt all the cultures and peoples theyre So willing to gather inspiration from in all possible aspects Other than the diversity of the people themselves. like its just... bad and such a shame but also not very surprising unfortunately.

(and really it just. looks especially bad given they clearly Can put melanin on people its just... enemy mobs only.)

beyond that i kind of dont have anyone that super catches my eye rn??? mainly because . well leaks moment eek but its basically official info now so basically. xilonens existence as a geo and a 5* (which like . u dont need leaks to guess she will be im sorry jdwjdw) was leaked a bit ago as well as the patch she should appear meaning. im actually in chiori rerun savings mode since its very high chance that she will be back w xilonen if anyone. so thats my plan for now kjdwjkdwjkdwjk

in terms of the actual cast i do like kinich and ororons designs v much, the design motifs of the latter especially are interesting bc those eye-like patterns are almost giving quantum symbol (= black hole imagery) to me???? and thats V interesting especially if hes actually working w capitano and the fatui. now him being a cat boy or whatever animals ears those turn out to be isnt like sth thats huge for Me personally but i do think hes valid and also W for anyone whos into that, congrats guys im happy for u ! but like fr itd be such an insane twist if hoyos Finally introducing the void quantum abyss whatever element w him (and maybe cap too.) bc that symbol Rly is looking Curious. or then hes just electro lol. for kinich its like. yeah fair he might be xiao-tighnari-gaming from minecraft ill admit that but. i do like the color scheme and his outfit a lot JKWJKDJKDWJKD so like i forgive it

w the girlies i overall find them all like. quite nice but so far without any personality + lore known its hard to settle my complete thoughts on them just yet. tho citlali being pink is super refreshing for genshin since we do have a shocking absence of it so like shes definitely one im drawn to, chasca looks interesting and like she could play a bigger part plot wise (maybe?) so that might be neat. both her and citlali being cryo is kinda surprising?? but cool. maybe ill get to unbench my shenhe and play some cryo teams again lmao freeze has been dead in abyss for so long now....

xilonen again w the kemomimi isnt sth im particularly into or not into but she looks cool, depending on personality and how her kit synergies turn out (+ assuming the chiori rerun, the fate of those pulls too), i might try for her as well? theres an Energy to her i like it. if she has proper Attitude and flair thats gonna be a massive bonus for me

mualani i think is rather bland to me, sth about her outfit and design just doesnt click for me even if the shark thing from the teaser before is neat and everything. the chibis are never sth im actively drawn to but like both do look okay, im kinda hoping kachina could be a lynette moment for 5.x and end up a free 4* since her exploration roomba looks p fun

anyway then theres. mavuika and i. well at least the design wasnt. That concept art one (ThoseWhoKnow...) . so instant massive W improvement solely on that basis holy fucking shit but ehhhhh im sorry i still dont know how to feel abt the very modern like. biker bodysuit thingy. im not a huge fan of the bodysuit type designs anyway so its not that surprising but still. her eyes + hair is absolutely stunning tho like not a question at all.

tbh in a way i kinda feel like having too many Thoughts on her design is kinda just unnecessary bc like. shes the archon. of Course the kit is going to be insane so i will get her anyway (UNLESS a pyro onfielder JKWJKJKWJKWJKWFKJ like god please no). and in terms of like is her design and energy from what this vid is giving us good enough that i wont like. Actively resent having to get her for meta and strong teams??? Absolutely. so in that sense ig its all cool lmao

but yeah. idk i just think as a teaser for the upcoming story its rly a shame how weak this felt for me???? like sure overture ended up being a bit of a misleading teaser since it gave the impression of arle as this mastermind of the fontaine AQ which didnt rly happen but it still served as a source of hype and intrigue. and yes lazzo is sth that can Never rly be beat in terms of how out of nowhere it was and how fucking insane the whole harbinger reveal went (+ elogia cinerosa existing) for lore and long term hype but its just. unfortunately those 2 are the regional teasers this natlan one is supposedly meant to parallel and it just didnt deliver anything comparable to those for me

like still looking forward to natlan and seeing the rest of its cast (like im fairly convinced the flame thingy might be xbalanque and hes gonna be a big deal ultimately or sth) and where it goes and all its environments but this trailer didnt rly. grip me the way i wouldve expected it to. which is unfortunate kdjkdwjkwjkdwj but yea thats all

[troius]

The Kids in the Room

The Fullbringer Arc is tighter and more coherent than anything in the manga so far, telling a very straightforward story about a young person’s alienation from the world he lives in. It has very specific things to say about the role of parents, mentors, and friends in the process of a kid becoming an adult and does a pretty decent job of looking at how different organizations (the state, gangs) can play into that young person’s life. And then, at the climax of the story, it very intentionally takes all that hard work, and for what I must assume were business reasons, tosses it all away.

The Arrancar Arc was a glorious, grandiose mess. It featured no fewer than three separate worlds, four distinct factions, and probably around twenty characters with active character arcs. Although it started off with the truly breathtaking ambition of weaving all of this together, by the end Kubo had cut a considerable amount of the subplots in favor of actually getting to the end of the story he was telling. And it still mostly worked! Ichigo’s character arc, at least, ended where I think it was always going to: sacrificing his nigh-unlimited power after understanding the price of that power.

But of course, giving up all of your powers isn’t really a long-term solution for Ichigo, just like it isn’t for any of us in life. Ruling over three worlds might tend to corrupt a person, but we all want—and need—to feel like we have some power over our own lives. Ichigo, in his final year of high school, living on the precipice of adulthood, feels this in more than one way. He had this power. He sacrificed it. And yet now, he’d do anything to get it back. Anything except ask for help.

You see, asking for help is hard, but especially in the context of “seeking power”, which in this story is an even less veiled metaphor for “growing up” than it usually is in shonen manga. Asking for help means admitting both weakness (you don’t have the power to get what you want right now) and discontentment (there is something you want that you don’t have). For Ichigo, whose primary method of coping with his mother’s death was asserting a premature independence, this would be difficult even if the thing he was seeking wasn’t something he had very publicly given up in front of his friends and family. Yes, there are times when he doesn’t want to involve them to protect them, but a big part of his self-imposed isolation is his own ego, his unwillingness to reveal to people who love him just how miserable he is, out of fear that it will reveal him to be somebody they won’t love anymore.

And that’s where the Fullbringers come in. Ginjo puts in a tremendous amount of work into getting close to Ichigo—lying to him, giving him little bits of information piecemeal without telling him the whole thing, and of course, offering him power that Ichigo desperately wants. But none of it would be possible if Ichigo didn’t have this preexisting desire to do it all himself, or at least to appear to his friends and family like he’s doing it himself. Ginjo does what nobody else in Ichigo’s life does—offers him assistance without making him ask for it. Hook, line, sinker.

The body of the arc covers this masterclass in manipulation from Ginjo, and it’s a huge change from what has, up until this point, been a very standard shonen battle manga in terms of content, where the fights happen on a more or less weekly basis. Here, it takes over half the arc for Ichigo to fight anybody! It’s all character development, even for the side characters like Orihime and Chad, who don’t get fights of their own but do get to express themselves and show initiative in ways they were largely denied in the previous arc. It’s all a long, slow burn to the climax, where Tsukishima suddenly strips away the support system that Ichigo had so undervalued, leaving him defenseless against Ginjo’s theft of his power.

And that’s my big frustration with the climax. It’s not that I like the Karakura kids more than I like the Soul Reapers, although I very well might. It’s that so much work has been put into drawing out and developing these relationships, so much effort put into showing how this is affecting all of them. And it’s not just metatextual effort either—yes, we spend a lot of pagetime with Chad and Orihime and Uryu, but Xcution also targets them all because of their importance to Ichigo! The very story itself recognizes that they’re the support system that Ichigo needs to be an emotionally healthy adult! Any logical resolution must therefore involve them!

But it doesn’t. Instead, it’s the Soul Reapers, who have not been physically or even narratively present at all for four volumes, who come in and repower Ichigo. They’re the ones who pair up for the fights against Xcution, fights that are very light on the sort of character work that is so characteristic of Bleach fights because there just isn’t the grounding for it! Even the fights that show character are mostly showing development that seemingly occurred off-panel, leaving you wondering when exactly Toshiro and Ikkaku achieved their newfound maturity. But the supporting characters from the bulk of the arc are written out, and even the personal feelings of Shigekuni Genryusai Yamamoto wind up being more important to the narrative.

This isn’t just unsatisfactory on the level of the supporting characters, it also fatally undercuts Ichigo’s own development. We expect the story to end with him overcoming the challenge set in front of him, which at the beginning is clearly his alienation from the people he loves. But he doesn’t really do that—instead, the Soul Reapers showing up is what solves his problems, which suggests that the actual problem in his life is just “they weren’t around”. I don’t think that’s actually what we’re meant to take away here, and the narrative doesn’t seem to think so either, which is why we end with the character development being passed on to Soul Society instead. They learn something in this arc, which is to trust Ichigo. But he doesn’t seem to have learned a damn thing.

And that’s what frustrates me so much about this arc: the lost potential, the fact that there was a very obvious story being told that was abruptly discarded, right at the moment it mattered most. There was probably no way Kubo could have fulfilled all the potential of the Arrancar Arc: there were just to many characters, too many storylines. But here, he condensed his writing, narrowed his scope, and still told a compelling story up until he suddenly threw it all away. Whatever the reason for it-- and I have no insight into the editing or business pressures that might have motivated a climax so different from that the story was obviously building to-- it’s disappointing.

[way2gosuperrstarr]

Now it’s time to ask you for the artist asks!:

2,7,10,12,13,14, and 23!

2— How long have you been drawing?

i've been drawing since i was like .... ough well, for as long as i can remember, but i really started w those "how to draw x thing" books when i wasssss..... 8 i think?? and im 19 now . so . that'd be 10-11 years? i think?

7— How often to do you use references?

a lot of the time i . forget i can actually use references/that references are even a thing . and just try to tough it out until i inevitably give up. HOWEVER, i do use them quite a lot when i remember i can! it's mostly just for individual small parts of a piece though; like a hand gesture or seeing how the skin of like .... fingers/knees would look when bent a certain way. stuff like that! i do occasionally use pose references though, especially when i cant visualize it in my head in a way that allows me to transfer it to the canvas- if rhat makes sense. sometimes i have a SUPER clear mental image but cant put it through my hand in a way that makes anatomical sense, which is usually when i need a full pose reference!

10— Are you confident about your art?

ougghhh it really depends ..... sometimes i feel incredibly proud of a piece, other times i hate it so much i want to delete the entire thing like i never drew it; more often than not im kinda "eh" about the stuff i draw, but i do get those lovely gems that i still look back on that i love, no matter how old they get. that's a recent thing though, a lot of my OLDER art is . definitely not up there . i'd say im like . i guess a little bit confident in my work but not as much as i'd like to be

12— Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

i can't promise a coherent answer that makes any sense, but absolutely! i dont mind! <3 i dont believe in gatekeeping in art :)

13— Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

most of the stuff i draw is for me- it's what i default to and it usually what i'll idly draw. but i love drawing things for other people!!!! it usually just takes me a bit more energy and a little longer, but i absolutely love seeing how happy people usually get when you draw them something! it's one of my favorite things, i love making people happy and using art, one of the few things im actually good at, to do it just makes it even better :] knowing something im decent at has the capacity to make others feel nice! and it's also a nice confidence boost to see someone loose their marbles over something you drew for em

14— Do you ever collaborate with others?

yessir!!!! i do it with my friends all the time, with oc worlds and lores and aus which really helps me develop them (though to be real i havent really collabed/world vomited/brainstorm bounced about my sb aus with anyone atm ,,,,) and i do it with artwork too, albeit not in a while!! but i used to do art collabs regularly with people i knew/mutuals and i loved doing them a lot!!! and i probably still would do em if someone asked!

23— Do you draw more fanart, or original art?

currently? fanart. if my blog and the sheer volume of dca art i draw is anything to do by /silly however! i did go through a couple years of solely original art! and then before that, a couple years of solely fanart/fandom ocs! it's really just whatever i feel like doing at the time! i usually just draw whatever i want to draw :] but that's also majorly dictated by what my mind is one-track-focused on at the moment; if i want to draw my ocs, and my mind is absolutely one track hyperfixated on something else at the moment (currently the dca/my sb aus, sdgo and my self insert au), i wont really be able to draw my original characters, or anything else, in a way that satisfies me because i wont really be "in it" :') if that makes any sense!!!

[xxrainshadowsxx]

To Have and To Hold

The first of my "bonus chapters" from Interpersonal. This one was always going to be first. It's their wedding. Enjoy.

Rating: T

Warnings: Just some mild innuendo

“Darling…”

The voice floats dreamlike through your mind, but you don’t much want to listen to it. You’re far too comfortable to even think about moving at the moment. “Five more minutes,” you mumble sleepily, your words barely coherent.

There’s a chuckle in your ear, impeding your goal. “You said that twenty minutes ago,” he reminds you. “And if you don’t get up soon, I’m going to be left standing at the altar alone. That’ll be a little awkward to explain.”

These words finally motivate you to open your eyes, and you’re greeted with the sight of Onceler’s face looking down at you from where you were sleeping on his chest. Your fiancé’s blue eyes are sparking with excitement.

Of course, in just a few short hours, you wouldn’t be able to call him your finacé anymore. He would officially be your husband very, very soon.

“Well, when you put it that way, I suppose I probably should get up,” you say, though you’re still rather reluctant to leave the bed; he made a much too comfortable pillow. “We’re about ten years too late on this. I don’t really feel like waiting any longer.”

“I definitely don’t either,” he grins, and despite his efforts to get you out of the bed earlier, now he pulls you back down to press his lips to yours, giving you the perfect slow kiss to start your morning, which neither of you are all too keen to break any time soon.

But of course, you are on a schedule, and there are other people in the house to keep you from getting too distracted. “Are you two decent?” Aurora’s voice comes from the other side of the door before too long.

“Yes,” you sigh as you reluctantly pull back and finally roll away from him as you sit up and stretch. Aurora’s in the room a moment later, her eyes narrowing.

“You said you were decent. He’s not,” she accuses. True, he’s not wearing a top, and he’s got blankets covering the rest of his body, but he does have sweats on. You relay this information to your sister, but she doesn’t back off. “He’s still not wearing a shirt. I’m not you. I don’t wanna see that,” she huffs.

“He lives here now. You’re gonna have to get used to it,” you remind her for the umpteenth time before the two of them can get into another argument. Despite the fact that they can get along in small doses, it was blatantly clear that Onceler and Aurora were not meant to live with each other in such close quarters; they were too similar. They agreed to it for Jack’s sake, but you were all anxious for your move into the much bigger house next month that would hopefully offer everyone more breathing room.

Miraculously, Aurora stands down. Your surprise must have registered on your face because she says, “Don’t get used to it, it’s just because it’s your wedding day.” Despite her words, she is wearing a small smile, and you know that in spite of everything, she is happy for the two of you.

“Anyway,” she says, turning to Onceler. “Jack’s still in bed, but he’s awake. So I’ll be stealing her, and we’ll see you in a few hours.”

“You sure you’ll be okay?” you ask him. Since his return to Thneedville, Onceler had become an object of public fascination, while Jack, since planting the tree and taking down the wall, was nothing short of a bona fide local hero. You were fiercely proud of your son, but he was also getting far too much attention that anyone his age should be receiving.

“We’ll be fine,” he reassures. “I’ll keep them away from Jack, darling. And I’ll see you at the altar.” He doesn’t bother to keep the excitement out of his voice before giving you a quick kiss. 

“I’ll meet you at the altar,” you repeat before you’re being ushered out of the house by your sister. “Don’t forget the marriage certificate on the counter,” you call over your shoulder. “And–” you’re cut off as Aurora successfully shoves you over the threshold of the front door and slams it shut, stopping what she calls your “mom mode” dead in its tracks.

“I’m just trying to make sure he doesn’t forget anything” you defend yourself from her exasperated expression as you follow her to her car.

“He’s not going to,” she assures. “He’s way too eager for this to mess it up. What I need from you is to just chill for a few hours, okay? You’ve been dreaming of this since you were little, remember? And while I’m glad you decided on something small rather than something over the top like you wanted when you were fifteen, it’s still my job to make sure this is the best day of your life. So let me do my job.”

You roll your eyes at her, but there’s no venom in the gesture, and you let her lead you to the car, and soon you’re on your way to some expensive hair salon. Onceler was only too happy to spend his vast reserves of money, and it had taken little persuasion from Aurora to get him to pay for this.

Once there, you can’t deny how nice it feels to have someone else take care of something, even if that something was as mundane as your hair. You’re sure people there recognize you–you’d been thrust back into the public eye when Jack planted the tree–but thankfully no one says anything.

Dealing with that was a weird experience, that was for sure. All of you were coping with it in your own way. Aurora, who’d never dealt with it before, was strangely handling it best, by simply ignoring people. But to be fair, she and Jack were generally well-liked.

On the other hand, people didn’t know what to think about you and Onceler. Since they knew he was responsible for the destruction in the first place, and you’d been around at the time, no one knew if you needed to share in that blame. And no one knew if either of your efforts to help Jack get that seed in the ground were enough to resolve you of your past sins. People had been hounding all of you for the full story, and none of you were sharing.

Hence, you’d opted for a very small courthouse wedding with only Jack and Aurora in attendance. Even if there hadn’t been the media attention, this is how you’d want to do it. You didn’t need a huge ceremony or party. You just wanted to officially marry the man you loved. 

But Aurora was right. You needed to relax and just enjoy today, not stress and overthink factors that were beyond your control. You never could have predicted that your life would become the circus it had turned into, but you had what you needed: a family you loved with your whole heart. And you were determined that today be magical for you despite everything.

Your hair takes most of the morning. It’s been trimmed, had a color touch-up, and been dramatically curled. After years of you and Aurora cutting each other’s hair yourselves to save money, this is nothing short of heavenly.

You’d opted not to get your makeup professionally done, preferring to go with just a little concealer, mascara, and lipgloss. You still wanted to have some semblance of looking like yourself. The makeup you do in the car on the way to your second to last stop: the dry cleaners to pick up your dress.

You hadn’t bothered to get a new dress. There was only one you’d ever had in mind, and it was your mother’s dress. It was very simple, no embellishments, sleeves that just covered your shoulders, and a plain train, but you’d known for years that when you got married, this would be the only dress you could ever see yourself in.

You pick it up, as well as Aurora’s dress, and then you dash to the courthouse. Never one for formalities, the two of you change in the washroom.

“He just texted me. They’re here,” Aurora informs as she steps out, then stops short when she sees you. It’s a very rare thing when your sister gets overly emotional, but even Aurora has her moments, and this is one of them. “You look beautiful,” she whispers before giving you a tight hug. “He’s going to die when he sees you.” She steps back and goes behind you to pick up your train. “Now, let’s go get you married, shall we?”

“Yeah. I’ve waited long enough, I think,” you murmur, only half-joking. You hurry through the building to your assigned courtroom where your son and fiancé are waiting for you.

Jack was just poking his head out of the door as you round the corner. “Oh good,” he sighs. “Dad was getting really nervous.”

You can’t help but beam at your son. He’s wearing a rented suit just for the occasion and looks more like his father than ever. You pull him in for a brief hug before sending him back into the room.

“Tell him not to worry, I haven’t run off on him,” you smile before taking a deep breath as your heart starts to race. This is it.

Aurora holds the heavy door open for you, and your vision seems to narrow in. You don’t see the room, or the judge, or even your sister anymore. All you see is him waiting at the other end of the room for you.

The widest smile you’ve ever seen on him adorns Onceler’s face, and you’re sure your own smile is just as effervescent. You also feel tears stinging the back of your eyes, and you’re thankful Aurora insisted on waterproof mascara even though you swore up and down you wouldn’t cry.

It takes every ounce of your willpower not to run up to him and instead take even, measured steps down the aisle. But in no time, you’ve reached him and he’s offering his arm out to you.

“Hi,” you say, unable to stop yourself from giggling a little.

“Hi,” he says back in almost the exact same tone. He’s beyond excited, he’s giddy, and you can’t deny that you are too. It seems surreal that finally, finally, you’re getting to marry him.

“Dearly beloved,” the judge begins, “we are gathered here today to celebrate the union…” You don’t hear too much else of what the judge says. You’re too lost in Onceler’s eyes, which are looking at you with so much adoration you feel like you could be sustained off of that look for the rest of your life. In fact, the whole world is shut out to you until Onceler is asked to start reading his vows.

He begins by letting your name fall off his lips like a prayer. “I can’t begin to describe how much you mean to me,” he continues, devotion coating every word. “You’ve loved me even when I don’t feel like I deserved it. You saw past the face I put on for everyone else and found who I really was, and even that didn’t scare you away. I am forever grateful that I found someone that I can show all my flaws, and that you not only understand them, but love me in spite of them. You’ve given me love, healing, and most importantly, a son. And I promise my whole life and heart to you, because it’s the very least of what you deserve.”

You couldn’t have stopped your tears now even if you had tried. His words were perfect, and it takes you a few moments to collect yourself before you can start reciting your own vows. You take the paper from Aurora and clear your throat before you start.

“Onceler,” you say, looking up into his deep blue eyes. “I know that the road to get here hasn’t been easy, but we’ve proven that our love is stronger than anything the world can throw at us. We’ve faced so many obstacles, and yet we’ve always come back together through everything. And through it all, I’ve fallen more and more in love with you every day, and I promise that won’t ever stop. I can’t promise that I’ll give you my heart, but that’s only because you already have it. But I can promise I’ll do my best to take care of your heart, because along with our kid, it’s the most precious thing I’ve ever had the privilege to call my own.”

His own eyes are swimming with tears as well now, and Aurora hurries up from her seat again to give you both a tissue to dab the tears away. You do so, but pay close attention to this next part. Two words from each of you, and you’ll officially be married.

The judge turns to Onceler first and asks him that all important question–if he’ll take you forever, to have and to hold, as his wife. His eyes are shining, and he never takes them off yours. There’s absolutely no hesitation as he says those two little words that mean he’s yours forever. “I do.” He slides your engagement ring back onto your finger; you hadn’t bothered to get a band to go with it.

And now it’s your turn. The judge asks you the same question, if you’ll take this man before you to have and to hold forever as your husband. Your answer is one of the easiest you’ve ever given in your life. “I do.” You slide a gold ring onto Onceler’s finger as well.

“Then by the power vested in me, it is my great honor to pronounce you husband and wife. Onceler, you may kiss your bride.”

The words are barely out of the judge’s mouth before Onceler puts his hands on either side of your face, pressing his lips to yours eagerly, and you kiss him back with just as much passion. The claps of Jack and Aurora fade into the background; your whole world is consumed with your husband.

Eventually, he pulls back, and you’re reminded that you’re in public and can’t do everything to him that you’d like just yet (though you had plenty of plans for when you finally got him to yourself later). Still, you can’t stop yourself from giggling like a schoolgirl as you push yourself up on your tiptoes to steal one extra peck on the lips.

“Okay, you two, I know you’re excited, but you still have to sign this,” Aurora reminds you, but she’s beaming as well. She gestures over to your marriage certificate, which thankfully wasn’t forgotten.

The judge has just finished with his part, which was the most extensive portion. All you and Onceler have to do is sign and date, which he does first, signing with that same loopy signature you’d seen the first day you’d met him. You go after, scratching out your own signature and dating the paper. Your handwriting is nearly unreadable compared to his, but it’s there, so it counts.

Aurora is the last to sign as the witness, and as she does, Jack comes up to you and gives you another hug, a proper one this time. You barely have to bend down to reach his height; he’s growing like a weed, and it’s another trait he’s clearly gotten from his dad. And after you release him, he hugs his father next, perhaps not as long, but it makes your heart swell to know that their relationship has been improving steadily every day.

You exit the courtroom, hand in hand with your husband, but before you can leave the building entirely, Aurora makes you stop in front of a window. “You didn’t think you were getting out of this without me taking a couple pictures, did you?” she cackles, holding up her phone.

You roll your eyes, but acquiesce, sliding your arm around his waist and resting your other hand on his chest. After a couple pictures like that, you pull Jack over as well, having him stand slightly in front of the two of you, each with a hand on one of his shoulders.

Thankfully, Aurora doesn’t insist on more than a few pictures. “What’s the plan for the rest of the evening?” you ask as she tucks her phone away. “Dinner and then home?”

She exchanges a look with Jack. “About that,” she says slowly, making you raise an eyebrow in confusion. “You two actually have a train to catch. Now that Thneedville has actually opened up and is allowing travel, I got you two booked into a resort a few cities over.”

You’re stunned into near silence. “B-but how–?”

“He gave me his card to book the hair appointments, and I went and did a bit more. Don’t worry about the money, this didn’t even make a dent,” she promises with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Hope you don’t mind,” she grins, turning to Onceler.

“Not at all,” he murmurs, though he’s looking just as dumbstruck as you. “We should probably hurry up and pack then…”

“We took care of that too,” Jack pipes up. “Aunt Aurora and I packed suitcases yesterday while you were picking up the marriage certificate. We just have to grab them and you guys can have a honeymoon.”

You turn to your sister. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you–” you start, but once more she cuts you off with a wave of her hand.

“Don’t worry about it. You deserve this,” she assures. “Now go hurry home and get changed, we’ll follow and take you to the train station.”

You don’t have to be told twice. You take Onceler’s hand and head down to the car. Once inside, you waste no time pulling him in, kissing him deeply like you’d wanted to earlier. Surprisingly, he’s the first to pull away.

“We should get going,” he reminds you, making you whine.

“I finally get you alone, and all you want to do is leave,” you grumble, causing him to chuckle.

“Oh trust me, I have several things I want to do to you later tonight,” he says with a wicked grin that makes you shiver. “But we don’t need to rush anything. We have forever, remember?” He leans over and gives you another kiss, and you’re content with the knowledge that yes, he’s yours and you’re his, for as long as you live. You’ve always known it, but now it’s affirmed. He’s your husband, and you’re his wife.

“Forever,” you agree.

[burningdarkfire]

books i read in sept 2023

[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to ask about individual ones if u want my full thoughts or ask for my goodreads!!] 

sometimes u travel somewhere where u have a relative lot of downtime + no data and u reinvent urself as a person who reads

she who became the sun (reread) + he who drowned the world - shelley parker-chan ★★★★★ (historical fantasy)

i reread swbts before tackling hwdtw and the way that this duology is so emotionally devastating! big win for readers who are fans of characters tearing the world apart in their grief and then realizing they cannot live in their new world! and the insane gender goodstuff, of course. ough. will think about this for a while

into the riverlands - nghi vo ★★★★★ (fantasy)

excellent third entry to the series that felt more fun than the other two thus far - i love playing around with myths and legendmaking

[reread] raven quest - sharon stewart ★★★★★ (adventure)

really happy to find out that this book from my childhood absolutely holds up. tightly plotted and paced and really poignant. i love animal adventures <3

the last devil to die - richard osman ★★★★★ (mystery)

no more withholding 5*s from genre fiction!! this book made me tear up for real so even though a silly murder mystery is probably never going to change my life, we have to give credit where credit is due. the most character-focused entry of the series so far and it definitely shows!

war of the foxes - ricahrd siken ★★★★☆ (poetry)

individually less interesting but collectively more coherent than crush. it's cool to have a conversation with a bit of poetry standing in a field, and I do love a good metaphor

the paper menagerie - ken liu ★★★★☆ (sci fi short stories)

great collection to go over slowly - i suspect it might have felt a bit tedious reading it front to back in a sitting. i liked how chinese a number of the stories felt. lots of ideas to chew on!

the poisonwood bible - barbara kingsolver ★★★★☆ (historical)

i just know this book went crazy in high school english class! it has themes and motifs and characters to compare and contrast! there's so much rich ground for analysis. and also treating characters like a bizarre personality test (the avenue of entertainment i chose). fantastic book to chew on and i greatly enjoyed talking to people about it

carrie - stephen king ★★★★☆ (horror)

yeah, i get the hype! this is a book that's impossible to read divorced from how deeply it's ingrained in current popular culture, but it stands up beautifully for itself. i'd love to read more analysis of it that puts in the cultural context of the 70s

hotline - dimitri nasrallah ★★★★☆ (historical)

surprisingly kind and hopeful story, definitely lovely if you want something feel-good. i really enjoyed how the occasional french was threaded into the english, it felt very montreal to me

the monstrumologist - rick yancey ★★★★☆ (historical horror)

tremendously gory and often unsettling. i found myself surprisingly attached to the characters and all the historical affectations of the book - it's not a series that i'm itching to continue but it was a good read

hark! a vagrant - kate beaton ★★★★☆ (historical humour graphic novel)

skimmed through parts of this but it was a fun read from cover to cover. always entertaining to see the origins of some very famous internet memes and there are also some hidden gems!

dead silence - s. a. barnes ★★★☆☆ (sci fi horror)

the author writes a very good spooky ship and very mediocre everything else

the word is murder + the sentence is death + a line to kill + the twist of a knife - anthony horowitz (-★★★☆☆+) (mystery)

decent murder mystery series. the author self-insert is goofy, the random homophobia is persistent, but they're quick and easy reads that go down like junk food

all that's left in the world - erik j. brown ★★★☆☆ (post-apocalyptic romance)

genre-mash that just didn't quite work for me. the tonal shifts between "fluffy gay YA romance" and "the world has ended post-apocalyptic bleakness" were jarring and the book never felt like it cohered into anything meaningful

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 3

Once more, I arrive like a comet, and once more, I depart, having left a glimpse into the madness within my mind! As always, warnings for profanity.

Episode 3: Destruction 

Okay, we get the first major scene, Marinette moping around... okay, I'll give props to Alya for seeing what Marinette would like with her tea, even if I'm still annoyed at what she did LAST episode. Really annoyed at how much they keep reiterating "how many powers Hawkm-sorry, MONARCH has," since it's not like it's any different from the fucking AKUMAS!!! 

And now we get Monarch trying to demand Orikko give him the power of time travel (while ignoring that he can FUCKING AKUMATIZE HIMSELF AGAIN TO DO JUST THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY GIVEN PEOPLE TIME TRAVEL POWERS!!!), and we get a vague and unhelpful explanation about how Kwamis' powers are tied to concepts... which doesn't actually answer why in the world Orikko can't give him the power to travel through time, since AGAIN, Nooroo has given powers like that in the past, WE KNOW THAT HE HAS. 

And now... we get Astruc's "that's not a power, that's a wish" BS. Just... this is idiotic. Tracking down someone else's source of power is VERY MUCH A POWER, it is not "a wish!!" Where in the fucking world is he drawing the lines in the sand with this!? This is nonsensical!! He's going out of his way to put as many needless roadblocks in Gabriel's way as possible, and when it is THIS OBVIOUS what someone is doing, it's just stupid. 

See, yanking the villains' chain to force them to rethink their plans can work... BUT NOT WHEN YOU ARE VISIBLY MAKING UP THE RULES AS YOU GO ALONG!!! 

Seriously, FUCK THIS SHIT Astruc! There is no coherent ruleset on display here, you are not TELLING us what the actual rules ARE, and making up exceptions and excuses at the drop of the hat! This is like that kid who always goes "you missed" in a game of pretend and will keep coming up with reasons WHY you missed, no matter how obvious he's cheating to always win he is. IOTA's blog is very well-named if Thomas thinks THIS is good writing. GOD DAMMIT does this piss me off!! 

Heck, like I said, WE KNOW THE BUTTERFLY CAN GIVE TIME TRAVEL POWERS, so not only is Orikko's claims suspect, HAWKMOTH HAS ENDED UP FORGETTING HIS ACTUAL POWERS!!! 

Like, I know "forgot about his powers" has its place as a trope... but this is transparently BS. 

Yeah... this is all just stupidity on so many levels. And we also have another case of why the "can't infringe on another Kwami's concept" line is BS. Hawkmoth literally gave Copycat a one-to-one replica of Chat Noir's Cataclysm without any kind of issues AT ALL. 

And now, we get a scene of the Kwami chanting "meanie" over and over again at Gabriel... and these things are meant to represent ancient miniature deities. Riiiiiggghhhttt. Like, is this meant to appeal to the target demographic? Because... dude, Thomas, this is just plain stupid. I have no other words beyond "you are making the ancient GODS act like five year olds." Uuuggghhh... 

And... apparently Marinette is still considered their holder... why? Like, what kind of BS is this?? What is the significance of being a holder?? We got a single scene ONCE in Season 2 of Gabriel "renouncing his contract with Nooroo," but this has never once been shown to have any serious significance before. Also, why would MARINETTE be considered their holder!? She's barely used ANY OF THEM AT ALL IN BATTLE OR IN GENERAL!!! 

Okay, Gabriel apparently had a good idea (for once) in asking the Kwami "where does Ladybug LIVE," which is honestly a pretty good loophole... IF I WERE NOT STILL PISSED OFF AT THE RULES-LAWYERING PRIOR TO THAT. And the best answer he gets is something to do about following the scent of crescent rolls, which is also a fairly decent loophole... but I have a bad feeling about where this stupidity is going to end. 

And... we get Hawkmo-sorry, "Monarch" In Marinette's bedroom. Nothing creepy about that, no siree bob! And... apparently this is the first step in some deeper, longer plot Marinette set-up. UUGGGGHHH!!! Gabe... you explicitly asked them "where does LADYBUG live," and going by how the magic literally makes you able to forcibly prevent the Kwamis from making sounds, they SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO LIE TO YOU, so I'm pretty sure you should be able to figure out Marinette is Ladybug, after all, YOU FOUND OUT IT WAS HER IN TWO SEPARATE TIMELINES BASED ON A SINGLE LINE FROM YOUR SON!!! 

And a scene of Marinette's clumsiness... I haven't commented on this yet, but the way they portray her clumsiness makes me cringe because of just how... overexaggerated it tends to be. 

See, Thomas... a way this fiasco could've worked better would be if you applied "Lex Luthor rules" to this situation; have Gabriel be able to REALIZE Marinette is Ladybug... and then discard it because his own biases can't imagine his sworn enemy living such a mundane, humble life. THAT would make this massive pileup of plot contrivance SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. 

And now we get confirmation the Kwami are lying through their teeth to Monarch. Which makes all this plot contrivance EVEN WORSE because it makes me question why in the world he was able to bully answers out of Nooroo. Again, WHY THE FUCK HAS THIS SHOW NEVER DEFINED WHAT A HOLDER IS!? If they had, I'm pretty sure ninety percent of my headache over this episode would be fucking GONE already. 

And Marinette going on a rambling rant about her insecurities... really not the time and place. Also, not gonna lie, I like the subtle emphasis Monarch gave "Voyage." Also, how is the ice rink guy not freaking out over the LITERAL SUPERVILLAIN in front of him? You know what, not gonna think about this, the entire thing has been contrivance after contrivance since it started, THAT bit of "no survival skills" is honestly low on the ladder. 

And now... we get Monarch captured by Ladybug with Chat Noir posing as a statue... I'm gonna be even blunter than normal, what the fuck is even the point of this colossal ruse!? Seriously, this entire fiasco would've been more interesting if the scavenger hunt was REAL, but we already know it isn't because like FUCK the Kwami don't know where Marinette lives. Seriously, all this, just to get him into position to get Monarch, despite knowing all the places he's going to go on the hunt!? Like, they couldn't have put up an ambush earlier down the line, or, I dunno, at least put up the illusion of chasing him to make him think he's on the right trail!? And I can't remember, but isn't their really a statue of Chat Noir alongside the Ladybug statue? Then how was Chat able to take its place? Heck, this ENTIRE SET UP seems reliant on Chat being able to find out that Monarch is following the hunt and getting into position, since without him around, THEY CANNOT THREATEN HAWKMOTH USING THE CATACLYSM. Dear god is this fiasco poorly thought out, repress repress repress...!!! 

They also try and pull a "the Kwami had no choice...!" despite all the plot contrivance they baked into this stupidity. Also, did Marinette REALLY leave her address, sticking out of PUBLIC STATUE!? Granted, she could always replace it, but why the FUCK wouldn't one of the janitorial staff thrown it away!? Just... just gotta move on... 

Also, why in the world are they not taking all the Miraculouses right now, when they captured him?? They don't NEED HIM TO DETRANSFORM!! Seriously, they have FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE that it will happen automatically as soon as they take it off, so why did they waste so much time explaining how they set all this up!? Like, this is basically them wasting time when they have the villain LITERALLY HELPLESS!!! And then... Hawkmoth throws himself on the Cataclysm. Like... props for being hardcore, I guess. Though I do agree with Chat Noir, IS HE NUTS!? Seriously, Thomas, I must reiterate, WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY IS SUPPOSED TO BE SYMPATHETIC!? 

And when Hawkmoth uses Kaalki (seriously WHY DID THEY NOT GRAB THE MIRACULOUS THAT LETS HIM RUN AWAY FIRST!?) to escape, we get a scene of the Kwami being sucked away... I... I honestly do not remember if that's how that is supposed to work, because I distinctly remember a sick Tikki being able to be moved quite a decent distance from Marinette when she got mistaken as a toy by Chloe in Season 1, so why did they all get sucked away with him?? 

And Thomas, if you are gonna pull another "Marinette must always make a mistake" card moment for this BS... check. Your fucking. PRIVILEGE. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, but every time, EVERY FUCKING TIME We get stupidity like this, it feels like Thomas rips out that card as a "get out of criticism free" moment, and gloats about how genius he is. This is just idiotic on every level. 

Okay, and now we get the obligatory "what have I done/We failed moment" with the heroes. And Chat's being torn up over having Cataclysmed Hawkmoth, which I would say is a good thing... if I didn't know what was coming later on. 

But him going "he must be in so much pain." It feels OFF on every level. 

And now we get the breakdown of Marinette's plan... and it is still incredibly contrived since, AGAIN, it relies on the idea that the Kwami CAN lie to Hawkmoth, which undermines a lot of threat factor by making him have so little control over their actions. It's the fiasco with Queen Bee at the end of Miracle Queen all over again; like, Hawk Moth STOLE the Kwamis, and can com

mand them easily... but when Chloe tried it, they could just... tell her no? There is no consistency here. Like I said before, this would honestly make a better plot if it actually WAS a scavenger hunt for the Kwami to get back home, and Marinette had to scramble to lay a trap for him. 

Like, so much of this is Marinette acting like a chessmaster... and it falls flat on its face because of how much contrived BS is baked into the REASON Hawkmoth had to stumble ass-backwards into this shitty trap!! 

I just... I don't GET THIS. If they had taken time to set up how much will and independence Kwamis actually have with their wielders, defined what even a holder IS and what it means in terms of Kwamis, MAYBE this wouldn't be such a fiasco. But given this starts point blank with them adding a bunch of poorly defined qualifiers onto how the Rooster Miraculous WORKS as well as Hawkmoth FORGETTING HOW VERSATILE HIS OWN FUCKING POWER IS... yes, this is shit. 

And we get into the home stretch, Marinette is upset about how she failed, which is good. She honestly NEEDS genuine failures, REAL setbacks. And by "genuine" and "real" I mean ones that are actually the result of her fucking up. Even SUPERMAN fails sometimes, so why in the world would Marinette be an exception!? Yet... rather than consoling Marinette that she can do better next time, and that this showed how well she can plan strategically in the long term rather than just spontaneously... instead she basically writes off how much of this contrived fiasco had to go off PERFECTLY and involve Hawkmoth playing right into their hands, the numerous plot contrived BS forcing him into that situation in the first place, AND the fact that Marinette and Adrien accomplished NONE OF THEIR ACTUAL FUCKING GOALS, to say that this plan was a success and that Marinette's an amazing superhero. I'm sorry, but sometimes a hero doesn't need a boost to their self-esteem, they need reassurance that a failure doesn't define them. Alya, you fucked up right here, and Thomas, the fact that you aren't even acknowledging how the heroes failed to retrieve EVEN A SINGLE FUCKING MIRACULOUS just shows how contrived this BS plot really is. 

All that's left is Gabriel turning the Miraculouses into Rings, AKA the advent of the stupidest fucking costume in the show. I'll admit, while his "original" Look as Monarch wasn't the best, at least they put some FUCKING EFFORT into it. I even liked the stained-glass look. But what's coming? Blech. 

Oh, and the stupid as hell all white suit. Seriously dude, you DID NOT NEED THE SUIT. Just making your old suit fit tighter would've concealed the cataclysm injury just as fine. NOW it's over.

[fumblingmusings]

why do you say kiku is part of the problem in your end note of the chapter? is he knowingly or unknowingly being manipulated by alfred or something regarding putting evelyn in her "cage"? sorry i dont really understand why she's in a cage too post-war (at least not anymore than other nations also subject to the international order, alliances and power hierarchies).

These two asks are kind of related so forgive me pinning them together! This is long and rambling, so please forgive me if it's not particularly coherent and is obtuse. I wanted the ending to be a bit off. Like things are better, but there's still a lot of the same old problems that remain.

But yes, Evie has in many ways done a full circle. The people dictating what she can and cannot do have shifted from the Cromwells and Naval Officers and Prime Ministers to simply Alfred.

This is fine by her, as one is much more benevolent than the others. She had been wanting it for a long time anyway.

She is fine it because she is genuinely in a better place after the war, Alfred genuinely cares for her and wants to help her, but. You know. America's poodle and all that. Especially tossed England's way under that Blair Labour Gov and anytime she disagrees with Europe.

Regardless of the truth of such a label, I wanted to - in the fic - show just how there is no easy and correct path for these guys to walk, because despite all the love they have for each other, international relations is going to keep butting them in the head. Everyone in the story lacks autonomy one way or another, the trouble is trying to work out a system that they are either happy or functional within it.

Alfred began wanting to break out of that construct - he ends the story as perhaps its biggest enforcer.

History rarely repeats, but it sure does rhyme. Eva has a decent relationship with the kids and is entering a romantic relationship. There's also progression: she is going to confront and look at how she failed people, with the knowledge that maybe she can't fix it, but she still needs to try regardless.

However, for all that progress, her and Kiku know, if Alfred had said 'no' to them reuniting, their conversation wouldn’t have happened. England and Japan rarely do anything together on an international level without America giving its backing.

Yes Alfred loves her dearly, but she is very clearly the junior player in that relationship now. Her ability to intentionally or incidentally cause harm to others has been greatly reduced, and with that comes the need and chance for her to seriously look at what she did(n't) do. She feels more free because she is more free, but she is also very dependent on Alfred maintaining that.

Alfred's last line: 'we're all together, just like I promised.'

He never promised that. Evelyn did. Alfred internalised it and sort of went: 'only on my terms'. Evelyn accepted this before she got him to shoot her last chapter, saying essentially: 'fine, do whatever you want with me, but you need to protect me if so'. She had been trying to make that transfer for years. Wanting Alfred to be the world’s major player has always been her in some ways trying to exercise autonomy... by signing over autonomy. Maybe that's a really cynical way of looking at it though.

This makes Alfred sound incredibly cruel and Eva a poor victim, but that's really, really not my intention. She never held power in her own right, always propped up by sucking the life out of others. She had to have it ripped away for everyone's sake. Her status required exploitation. She trusts Alfred to do the right thing. Should she? How different is Alfred from her really? Has the dynamic just flipped? Ehhhhh... Open ended I think.