#implied trauma

[abigailmoment]

It wasn't just bad luck that Staeve was targeted. It was a calculated attack. Halsin knew well enough how a caster could examine their enemies for tells. Halsin did it himself. Considered an opponent's tactics, and guessed at the places their mind would be most vulnerable.

You didn't have to be a gifted empath to watch how Staeve hurled himself into the thick of combat, right at the biggest bandit wielding the two-handed great sword, and think that the man might be vulnerable to a spell that exploited wisdom.

The fact that it took down Astarion too, well, perhaps that one was just bad luck.

It happened like this:

-

This is written about @velnna's Tav, Staeve. I was delighted to discover that they don't mind fan fiction being written about him.

I'm always cautious about writing for other people's OCs--getting voices right is so important to me. I have elegantly avoided that issue here.

-

Full text below.

Full Text On AO3

-

The fight was an incidental bit of banditry. Dangerous banditry, certainly. Bandits with  great swords, supported by wizards. Halsin hung back with Gale while the two rogues dashed forward to give truth to the old adage that the best defense was killing the other fellow extremely quickly. 

They cut down the man with the great sword and the woman with the mace and shield. Reinforcements were coming from around a rocky overhang. Halsin coaxed the earth to throw up entangling vines to slow them down. Gale drenched them with glimmering light that illuminated all their vulnerable points for Astarion and Staeve to shoot at.

Only the half-orc made it through the vines and the light. He was bloodied and wrathful. He was huge, but it was two against one, and the two were flanking with each other. It would have been an easy end to the combat, except that apparently there was a bandit wizard hidden somewhere in the trees who chose this moment to cast a spell. 

One second Staeve was a blood spattered half-drow sprinting full-tilt, sword out, towards a fighter twice his size. And then he was gone.

Some sort of teleportation? Banishment? Gale was saying something about trajectory and scanning the treeline. Halsin was yelling, he wasn't sure what, the concern was more important than the words. He started running forward. Because two rogues against a barbarian was fine, but one rogue against a barbarian was an extremely fast way for that rogue to die.

And Astarion knew that so he should be running away. But he wasn't running away. He was darting forward and ducking low and almost getting hit by a greataxe as he snatched something off of the ground. 

Then he was running, thank the Gods. There was something cradled in his arms, which meant he didn't have his rapier out as he scrambled back.

It was a cat. Halsin saw. They were ten feet away from each other when Halsin realized that Astarion was carrying a large, extremely upset tabby cat with grey-green fur.

That was when Astarion vanished. No. Not vanished. As the tabby tumbled to the ground, something small and white was already there, darting for cover. 

Then the half-orc arrived. Bellowing and huge, at least when compared to cats. Not quite as huge when compared to Halsin. 

Halsin decided to turn into a bear. It was amazing how many problems you could solve by turning into a bear. 

-

"I am feeling my oversight in not preparing dispel magic today," said Gale. "Or counterspell."

"This is not a situation we could have anticipated," Halsin said.

Staeve contributed to the conversation, but because of present circumstances, it came out as a meow.

He was large for a cat. His fur was pale brown, tabby-striped with green. His stripes crisscrossed in a way that reminded Halsin of his tattoos. His scar was a fur-less groove in his face. He had the same pale green eyes as always. That color was quite appropriate in a cat.

He meowed again, more insistently this time.

"We will," Halsin assured him. 

"You're speaking with him?" Gale asked. 

"Not magically," Halsin said. It had been a long day and he had barely anything left to cast with. "But I think I understand him."

"Do you?"

"Think a moment and I am confident that you too will guess what he wants from us."

It did only take a moment. Gale was an intelligent man, when prompted. And they'd all seen the small white cat vanish into the woods during the bear-orc fight.

"Ah. Of course." Gale addressed the cat, voice reassuring. "Astarion should be relatively safe though. Polymorph is temporary and even if something did happen to him in the interim, he would just revert to his natural form."

Staeve's whiskers went back and his ears went flat in a thoroughly unimpressed way. 

"I think it would be best to find him and make sure nothing happens," Halsin said with mellow diplomacy. 

"Of course." Gale paused, then said delicately: "Given my skill in woodland matters, or lack thereof, I may best serve this cause by getting out of the way."

Halsin smiled. "It is a wise man who knows his limitations."

"I'll meet you all back at camp then?" said Gale.

"Take a potion of invisibility for the trip," Halsin suggested. "There might still be bandits about."

Staeve had gotten impatient with them, and was padding off into the forest. Halsin handed Gale the potion and hastened to follow.

-

Staeve scampered about the forest like he was looting the place. No hole, hollow log, wasp nest, or brown recluse spider-web was left uninvestigated. The loss of seventy five percent of his gray matter had done the man's already flagging survival instincts no favors. Halsin spent half of his attention looking for signs of a small white cat, and half of his time making sure Staeve's efforts at tracking didn't get him killed.

After being only a hairsbreadth quick enough to pull Staeve away from the entrance to a dire-badger-burrow Halsin decided that his partner was now going to be carried. Staeve made a meowling, writhing objection. He was terribly invested in the search. A compromise was reached when he was offered a perch high on Halsin's broad shoulders. Staeve proceeded to clamber from shoulder to shoulder as Halsin walked, ears always forward and alert, eyes bright, head turning this way and that as he scanned the woods.

Small cats with stealth training were not easy things to track through dense forest. Halsin did end up using his last spell slot to cast speak with animals. The local mice and voles always noticed when predators passed, even small ones. Halsin spoke to them while keeping one hand on Staeve, who watched the tiny creatures with bright, newly interested eyes.

Halsin of course spoke with Staeve as well, but it wasn't quite the same. Talking to a person who had been transformed into an animal was not the same as talking to that person. Shape changed you. How you saw things. How you thought. The mind of a cat was a fraction of the size of that of an elf or half-elf. Thinking with it was different. The change was easiest for druids. It was hardest for the cursed, who did not choose the new shape. Who were surprised by it.

He spoke to Staeve and learned things he had already known from observation. He reassured Staeve that the mice had given useful guidance.

That guidance led them north, then west, and then to a long hollow log, moss covered and broken in two places. A good hiding spot, and the sort of shelter that had a lot of escape routes. Staeve jumped off of Halsin's shoulder as the druid knelt down and they both peered inside.

In the darkness, Halsin could just make out a pair of ruby-bright eyes staring warily back at him. 

Beside him, Halsin watched Staeve relax for the first time since becoming a cat. He wasn't actually as large as Halsin had first thought--it was just that his hackles had been up and his tail puffed out for the duration of the transformation.

It could be a painful thing indeed, to have one's heart so completely entwined with another's safety. A deeply worthwhile thing, but a painful thing, sometimes. 

Halsin made a deferring motion to Staeve, who nodded in a rather un-catlike like way. Halsin stepped back from the log, moving slowly so as not to startle anything. He shifted a few feet away and sat close enough to watch, but far away enough that his looming size wasn't an ominous thing.

Staeve didn't go inside the hollow log. He sat at the entrance. Lay down at the entrance, body long and casual, head up on the lip of the log so he could keep looking inside. Modeling relaxation.

He started to purr. Halsin could hear him purring even from a few feet away. A loud, constant, soothing rumble. It somehow did not surprise Halsin that Staeve had a loud purr.

And then Staeve waited. Patient as anything. Waiting and watching and purring in a low buzz, as steadily as a beehive.

Halsin could not see inside the log, but he could guess at when Astarion moved because Staeve's ears would flick. Staeve had a fine poker face, but everyone had tells. 

Something happened, or occurred to him, that made Staeve raise his head and sit up slightly from his sprawl on the ground. Then he stood up entirely. He gave Halsin a significant look, and trotted off into the underbrush. 

Conscious that he had just been assigned new responsibility, Halsin shifted so that he had a good view of the log's entrances and everything around it. There wasn't much danger, Halsin’s presence in general kept most predators away from this space. But still.

During his vigil, Halsin saw the glimmer of red cat-eyes once. And only briefly. 

Staeve came back soon. He had a dead vole in his mouth and he looked exceptionally pleased with himself. He dropped the vole at the mouth of the log, took a few pawpads back and watched expectantly.

It took another long minute, but after that minute a small white cat crept out of the darkness.

This should surprise no one, but Astarion was a beautiful cat. Slender and graceful with large eyes. His fur was pure, silvery white and just long enough to curl slightly. He moved with a cautious precision that Halsin recognized as his habit, and that deeply suited his new form. 

He sniffed at the vole. He shot Staeve a judgmental look, because Gods forbid the man accept any kindness without prevaricating about it in some way. He glanced at Halsin. And then he leaned down to slide exceptionally long canines into the corpse's chest.

Staeve flopped down about a foot away and watched him with an expression of pleased devotion that would honestly be a bit more appropriate on a dog.

Astarion ate fastidiously, and without getting even a blot of blood on his snow-white fur. When he finished he licked his teeth.

When Staeve was quite sure Astarion was done eating, he sidled up slantwise, sauntering around the vole corpse as if he just casually happened to be taking a stroll in this part of the forest for no particular reason. He stopped just short of Astarion. His ears were forward. His tail flicked lightly from side to side. 

Astarion regarded him levelly with his 'I know what you're doing and I know you think you're being clever about it but you're not' expression. Then, as if granting a boon, he deigned to rub his forehead gently against the underside of Staeve's chin.

Staeve took this as the invitation that it was and pressed back, much more enthusiastic and honest in his delight at the contact. Which in turn gave Astarion an excuse and space to do what he wanted and enjoy it.

They were always very dear to watch together. Whatever form they took. In about a minute they were curled over each other on the ground and Staeve was industriously grooming Astarion's head.

Halsin let this go on for as long as he could. But the shadows were lengthening, and they were very close to the Shadowlands, and he was out of spell slots, and the rogues were currently housecats.

"It is getting late, dear ones," he said softly. 

Astarion twitched at the interruption, and Staeve licked him three times along the neck and chest in a soothing way. Then they disentangled from each other and padded over to Halsin.

Halsin picked up Staeve, but he knelt down and laid his arm on the ground so that Astarion could climb up and find what perch he wanted by himself. They did both end up in his arms. Staeve was tired and quite ready to be carried, and Astarion didn't want to be out of contact with him.

As Halsin walked through the woods with an armfull of cat, Staeve started to purr again. It was really the most marvelous sound. A soothing distillation of satisfaction and care. Almost enough to tempt one away from being a bear.

Astarion did not purr. Some cats didn't. Or purred only very rarely. But Astarion did, at one point, look up at Halsin and blink his bright red eyes very slowly. 

And that was a precious thing.

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Other stories like this.

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[whumpshots]

Whumptober #15

Trope of the day: childhood trauma

_

Whumpee involuntarily flinches when Caretaker accidentally closes the door with more force than intended - loud 'thud' and a quick hushed "Whoops" is heard as they move through the house.

And that is all.

Still, Whumpee is tensed up and their heartbeat far too fast against their chest. Loud doors, footsteps... even the way someone says "Hi" makes Whumpee feel like they did something wrong. That someone will walk up and scream at them.

Or worse.

The door to the kitchen opens and Whumpee jumps when Caretaker comes in, instinctively hiding that they were about to make themselves something to eat. Caretaker just smiles at them, walking to the fridge.

"Have you seen the cheese?," they ask, rummaging through the fridge as Whumpee feels their mouth run dry.

"Sorry, I uh... It's here," they mutter, moving to give Caretaker the package they hid behind themselves, hoping the other cannot see the sandwich they were about to make. They didn't ask, they were just hungry. Now they fucked up, they always fuck up...

"Thanks, kid," Caretaker just says with a smile and gets a plate. "Do you want to stay there or eat your sandwich?" Raising their brows they look at Whumpee, who cannot stop themselves from probably looking really dumbfounded.

Oh.

Caretaker's hands are on their shoulders, still giving them some space as Whumpee ducks their head. "You can move freely in this house and you can eat whatever and whenever you want. Okay?" They wait for an answer, but Whumpee's tongue is too heavy. So they just nod. "Okay. Then let's have some lunch together."

[the-nado-hunter]

Random Hetalia character head cannons/hc histories and characterizations that float in my brain but I’ve never written down - starting with England, America and Germany since I’ve thought about them the most lol:

England:

- Was the reverse of Alfred where he actually physically and emotionally aged much slower than most nations. He was barely not a teenager when he first took in Alfred (and his other “kids” by extension) when he was not at all ready/had even fully matured himself.

- I have a hc that nations who “get too big” (meaning the territory under their name grows) they kind of lose themselves and get less distinct and coherent in their motivations and sometimes don’t feel themselves at all, too many voices in their head so to speak. Unfortunately Arthur “lost it” during a pivotal part of his relationship with his family, hence all his strained relationships.

- Once he took on those responsibilities he suddenly jumped in physical age a bit. So while Alfred sees him as being SO much older (calling him an old man) his time in the nation equivalence of life stages was uneven and all over the place.

- it wouldn’t be until the 60s/70s/80s that Arthur had the time and ability to “make up for lost time” hence his musical and punk phases. He finds himself in some ways.., also likely dissolves into addiction problems at the same time.

- In the modern era he still has many anger issues but he’s a lot more calm and sure of himself, however he’s got a built up emotional wall and a whole lot of hidden self hatred that’s going to take a long long time to resolve, and he isn’t quite there yet and tends to lash out and push people away rather than deal with things.

America:

- He was very sheltered by Arthur at first, he was kept out of almost everything for most of his early life. If Arthur wasn’t present (which he often wasn’t due to the two having vastly different understandings of the passing of time) there were people hired and cycled out to take care of him. He can’t help himself though, even if he’s being treated like a sheltered little prince he wants to go run free in the fields and get into shit. He’s basically a Disney princess in his early life is what I’m saying lol.

- reality hits him like a ton of bricks when he’s roughly looking/acting about 14-15. He realizes likely through being exposed to other nations starting to come in and managing to slip out to talk to people just how much has been hidden from him and the resentment grows. And he starts REALLY growing even faster.

- Despite all that he went full on into a “fight” coping mechanism and never stopped. He put on a “mask” at one point in his life and it hasn’t come off. He’s never really deeply dealt with anything so he progressively seems more and more obtuse and seemingly arrogant to overcompensate for not wanting to face any sort of pain.

- He’s deeply deeply lonely and desperately wants closeness and to open up- yet at the same time the idea of seeming “weak” or “vulnerable” is terrifying to him. Him and Arthur are more similar than they would like to admit with how they mask and push people away despite really REALLY needing love and closeness.

Germany:

- it depends on if you accept the “Germany is HRE” theory or not, but either way I tend to think they at least have the same body but might be different entities or ‘spirits’ so to speak. That being said I imagine Ludwig specifically not only was “born” into a body that was preexisting and therefore already past a decent part of childhood, I imagine that his body was at first incredibly weak, frail, and he was very sickly for quite some time.

- I’ve written a fic about this, but I personally hc Ludwig from about 6-15 years old in appearance being almost completely unable to walk and needing braces and assistance to get around. His brother obviously loves and cares about him, but Ludwig couldn’t help but feel frustrated and like a burden. He really does look up to his big brother and is worried about being weak and reliant on others for the rest of his life.

- Ludwig GETS his strength, and as soon as he’s able to walk on his on he becomes obsessed with being as strong and capable as he possibly can be. He wants to never have to rely on anyone again, feeling an odd sense of guilt for needing so much help.

- he’s, in the end… kind of socially inept. Gilbert isn’t exactly the pinnacle of a socialized man himself - So despite being mostly independent and capable he doesn’t really understand social situations, or how to understand himself and others. Feliciano is both jarring and someone I think he becomes interested in him because Feli is capable in something he never has been and really is teaching him a lot.

- Unfortunately Ludwig had in face overcompensated for his past feelings of being a burden he’s taken so much on and has become such a protector that he’s almost unable to set boundaries and say no to requests to take on extra work- malicious or not.

- we already know Ludwig tends to explode and bark directions at people, to me it’s always been a clear sign of how much stress he’s under- but he winds up just appearing scary and he once again takes on more responsibilities and feelings of “something must be wrong with me”.

- i think many in the fandom have joked about it but Ludwig to me is SO repressed and SO gay it’s not even funny

-I would expect poor Ludwig to hit a breaking point and have a nervous breakdown eventually, which I do want to write at some point, just gotta not procrastinate lol

[zalpractice]

average afab autistic experience in high school

[puppyie-innit]

t-wordtober day 25: “No.”

The sky outside was gray, a light drizzle tappin’ against the windows of their small cabin nestled in the woods. The air was thick with the scent of damp earth, and the faint sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. Dino sat on the couch, his arms draped across the backrest as he watched Puppy pace back and forth in the room. Her movements were restless, her lips pressed into a tight line. The tension between them had been buildin’ for days, ever since Dino had dropped his metaphor about syrup and pancakes.

Puppy’s mind kept churnin’ over his words, tryin’ to figure out what he meant, but all it did was make her feel more confused and hurt. She stopped by the window, lookin’ out at the rain-soaked world beyond but not really seein’ it. Everything felt too big, too heavy, like she couldn’t breathe right.

“Pup,” Dino called softly from behind her, his voice breakin’ through the quiet.

She didn’t answer, just hugged her arms tighter around herself. Her heart ached, and her thoughts spiraled, makin’ her feel even smaller inside. He had always been her safe place, the one who made her feel like it was okay to let go and slip into that soft, warm space where nothin’ mattered but bein’ with him. But now… now he was tellin’ her he couldn’t do that anymore.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Dino said, standin’ up from the couch and walkin’ toward her. His voice was soft, but there was a firmness in it that made her stomach twist.

Puppy stayed silent, her fingers playin’ with the hem of her shirt, pullin’ at the fabric anxiously.

Dino sighed, reachin’ out to gently touch her shoulder, but she flinched away from him, movin’ just out of reach. His hand dropped back to his side, and he stared at her with a look of frustration mixed with sadness.

“You’re mad at me.” His words hung in the air, and Puppy’s heart pounded as she bit her lip, still not lookin’ at him.

“I ain’t mad,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the rain. But she was. She didn’t know how to explain it. She was mad, hurt, confused—everythin all at once.

Dino ran a hand through his hair, his eyes never leavin’ her. “Pup, I’ve been too soft with you. I’ve been babyin’ you too much, puttin’ too much syrup on your pancakes, and now—”

“Stop.” Puppy’s voice cracked, and she turned to face him, her eyes fillin’ with tears she couldn’t hold back anymore. “Just stop, okay? I don’t get what you mean. I don’t care about pancakes or syrup. I just… I just want you to be you. Why do you wanna stop?” Her voice trembled as the words spilled out. “Why can’t you just—just stay my big brother?”

Dino stepped closer, his expression softenin’. “I am your big brother, but you’re… you’re slippin’ too much, Puppy. You’re lettin’ yourself stay small, and I think I’ve been makin’ it harder for you to come back out of that space.”

Puppy’s throat tightened as she shook her head furiously. “So what? Why does it matter?” Her voice grew louder, desperate. “I like bein’ little! I finally got to experience bein a kid! I like how you take care of me, how you make me feel safe!” Her breath hitched. “I trust you.”

Dino’s face fell, and he took a deep breath. “I know you do, and I love that, but I’ve been coddlin’ you too much. It’s not good for you.”

Puppy stared at him, her heart shatterin’ with every word. It didn’t make sense. None of it did. She wiped angrily at the tears spillin’ down her cheeks. “Why? Why can’t you just keep doin’ it? Why did I trust you? Why did we even become friends if you were just gonna—” She cut herself off, her voice breakin’ as a sob escaped her.

Dino’s eyes widened in shock, and he reached for her again, but she pulled away, takin’ a few steps back. “Pup, no, that’s not what I—”

“No!” she screamed, her fists clenchin’ at her sides. “Don’t touch me! I don’t wanna slip! I don’t wanna be around you anymore!”

Her words hit Dino like a punch to the gut, and he stood frozen in place, his hand still halfway outstretched. “Puppy, please, I didn’t mean—”

“You don’t get it!” she cried, her whole body shakin’ with emotion. “You make me happy! You make me feel safe and loved, and now you’re sayin’ it’s too much? I don’t understand! Why did you say I could trust you? Why did you lie?”

Dino’s heart ached at the sight of her breakin’ down in front of him, and he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to fix it, to make her understand that he wasn’t tryin’ to hurt her, but every word seemed to push her further away.

Puppy wiped at her tears, her hands tremblin’. She didn’t wanna be near him, didn’t wanna feel the slip comin’ on just because he was there, lookin’ at her with those sad, sappy eyes. She turned away from him again, her voice small and broken. “I don’t… I don’t wanna feel like this anymore.”

Dino stood there, helpless, watchin’ as she slowly moved toward the door. “Pup…” His voice was barely above a whisper.

She didn’t answer, just opened the door and stepped outside into the rain. The cold water hit her face, mixin’ with her tears as she walked further away from the cabin, from him. She couldn’t let herself slip again, couldn’t let herself be vulnerable. If Dino didn’t want her like that anymore, then what was the point?

She didn’t stop walkin’ until she was deep in the woods, where the rain poured down heavier and the trees loomed tall and dark around her. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she leaned against a tree, slidin’ down until she was sittin’ in the mud. The rain soaked her clothes, her hair stickin’ to her face, but she didn’t care. She wrapped her arms around her knees and let out a sob.

She couldn’t let herself slip… but she already felt herself fallin’.

Back at the cabin, Dino stood in the doorway, his eyes searchin’ for her through the rain. His chest was tight, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had messed up. He hadn’t meant to push her away like this. He had only wanted to help her, to protect her, but now she was gone, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

He stepped out into the rain, his heart poundin’ as he called after her. “Puppy! Come back! Please, I’m sorry!”

But his voice was swallowed by the storm, and the only answer he got was the sound of rain fallin’ all around him.

The woods felt too quiet, too still without her.

The rain drummed steadily on the leaves above, the chill seeping into Puppy’s skin as she curled up tighter, tryin’ to block out the world. Her chest felt like it was bein’ squeezed, each breath harder than the last. Why was Dino sayin’ all those things? Why did he wanna stop takin’ care of her the way he always had?

A soft crack of a branch nearby made her tense up, but she didn’t lift her head. She already knew who it was.

“Pup…” Dino’s voice was soft, almost lost in the sound of the rain, but it was enough to make her heart squeeze again. He’d followed her. Of course he had. He never just let her be alone when she was upset, even if she wanted to be.

She didn’t move, didn’t say a word. Her face stayed hidden in her knees, her wet hair clingin’ to her cheeks, but her whole body trembled. She didn’t know if it was from the cold or the hurt anymore.

Dino stepped closer, crouchin’ down beside her in the mud. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Puppy shook her head, squeezin’ her arms tighter around herself. “Go away,” she mumbled, her voice muffled by her knees. She didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to hear his stupid syrup and pancakes nonsense. It didn’t make sense to her. None of it did.

Dino didn’t move. He just sat there beside her, the rain soakin’ both of them. His hand hovered near her, hesitant, but eventually, he rested it gently on her back. “I didn’t mean I was gonna stop carin’ for you or lovin’ you. I just… I dunno. I think I was afraid I was babyin’ you too much, like maybe I was holdin’ you back or somethin’.”

Puppy lifted her head slightly, just enough to glare at him through her soaked bangs. “That’s dumb,” she muttered.

Dino let out a short, breathless laugh, noddin’. “Yeah… maybe it was.”

Silence stretched between them, only the patter of rain fillin’ the space. Puppy’s breath hitched, and she wiped at her face, though it didn’t do much good with the rain pourin’ down. Her chest still ached, but some of the sharpness had dulled. She didn’t want to stay mad, didn’t want to stay like this.

Dino scooted a little closer, his hand rubbin’ slow, gentle circles on her back. “I don’t wanna stop takin’ care of you,” he said quietly, his voice soft as if speakin’ too loudly might break the moment. “I love takin’ care of you. I just… I guess I panicked. Thought maybe I was doin’ too much, and it wasn’t good for you. But I was wrong.”

Puppy’s lips quivered, her heart twistin’ painfully at his words. “Then why’d you say it?” she asked, her voice crackin’. “Why’d you make me feel like you didn’t want me anymore?”

Dino winced, and his hand paused on her back. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I swear. I love you, Puppy. You’re my whole world.” His voice broke a little, and he quickly cleared his throat. “I just… I got scared. I thought maybe if I kept babyin’ you like I have been, you wouldn’t be able to feel big when you needed to. But I can see now that you need that softness, and I shouldn’t have tried to take it away.”

Puppy sniffled, liftin’ her head a little more, her eyes meetin’ his. “I do need it,” she whispered. “I like feelin’ safe with you. I like when you baby me.” Her voice was shaky, but there was a stubborn edge to it.

Dino’s heart twisted as he saw the raw hurt in her eyes, and he wished he could take back everything he’d said. He’d been tryin’ to protect her, but all he’d done was hurt her. “I know,” he whispered, leanin’ in a little closer. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care. I do. So much.”

Puppy’s lip quivered, but she didn’t pull away when Dino wrapped his arms around her, pullin’ her close to his chest. The rain continued to pour, but neither of them cared. Dino held her tight, his chin restin’ on top of her head as he whispered soft reassurances.

“We’re gonna figure this out, okay? Everythin’ in moderation. I won’t stop babyin’ you, but maybe we can find a balance.” He stroked her hair gently, his voice a soft hum in the rainy woods. “I just want what’s best for you, Pup. Always.”

Puppy buried her face against his chest, lettin’ out a shaky breath as the tension in her body slowly started to ease. Her hands clutched at his soaked shirt, and her heart began to calm as she melted into his embrace. For the first time since their argument, she felt that familiar warmth—the safety, the love, the comfort that only Dino could give her.

“I don’t wanna lose that,” she mumbled against his chest.

“You won’t,” Dino promised, kissin’ the top of her head softly. “Never.”

For a long moment, they stayed like that, just holdin’ each other in the rain, the world around them feelin’ a little less heavy. Dino rocked her gently, like he always did, and Puppy’s small, tired sigh let him know that maybe, just maybe, they’d be okay.

Eventually, Dino pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, a small, playful smile tuggin’ at his lips. “You know, Pup,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes, “I think I might’ve forgotten somethin’ important.”

Puppy blinked up at him, confusion flickerin’ across her face. “What?”

Dino’s smile grew, and he wiggled his fingers toward her sides, his voice dropin’ to a playful whisper. “Tickle monster duty.”

Puppy’s eyes widened, and she immediately tried to scoot back, but it was too late. Dino’s fingers danced across her sides, and she let out a startled squeal, followed by a burst of giggles.

“N-nohoho, Dino! Don’t!” she protested, her laughter spillin’ out despite herself.

But Dino was relentless, his fingers findin’ all her most ticklish spots with ease. “Oh, but I have to,” he teased, his voice playful again, just like it used to be. “You know the rules—when you’re this cute, you have to get tickled!”

Puppy squirmed and tried to push his hands away, but her laughter only grew louder, mixin’ with the sound of the rain. “Stahahap! I can’t—”

“Uh-oh,” Dino chuckled, switchin’ tactics and goin’ for her tummy. “Tickle monster found the tummy spot!”

Puppy’s giggles turned into full-blown laughter, her face flushin’ red as she kicked and squirmed in his arms. “Dinohoho! Plehehease!”

Dino grinned, leanin’ down to blow a raspberry on her tummy, makin’ her shriek with laughter. “Alright, alright,” he finally relented, easin’ up and pullin’ her into his lap again. “You win. For now.”

Puppy panted, her face still bright with laughter, but the tension was gone, replaced by that warm, familiar feeling of safety in his arms. She nestled against him, still gigglin’ softly, and Dino kissed her forehead with a smile.

“We’re okay,” he whispered. “We’re always gonna be okay.”

Puppy nodded, her heart feelin’ lighter than it had in days. “Yeah… we are.”

And as they sat there in the rain, holdin’ onto each other, both of them knew that no matter what, they’d figure it out together. Everythin’ in moderation, just like Dino said.

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

Not the best quality sketches but they already made me quietly sob

“Work Mom”

[callaeidae3]

An old WIP comic I don't think I'll ever finish haha

This scene is about six months after the Ninao kidnapping incident: in the summer following Yuuki's kidnapping ordeal, Yuuki collapses at the Harrison family's house as the exhaustion of post-traumatic stress and the insomnia that's been plaguing him hit him.

The dialogue scribbled on the art differs slightly from what I wrote in the novel version of this scene, but reads:

"Yuuki, are you alright?" "I'm fine." ...just a little light-headed ...from this trauma that won't go away.

[lakilogan]

Laki's bath

"They will not stop watching until you have truly come clean."

[starstruck-flames]

Comfort - Mirio

A/N: Please… please forgive any shitty writing/typos! I still have a cold… recovering from a tattoo. My god it never ends!

You know, it takes a lot to feel ready to love again. I just want you to know I’m really proud of you.

Content includes!! Shower fluff, shower smut, implied trauma/PTSD, Mirio is a big ol softie but also he’s loving what he seeees, overall this is just a soft loving post but as always tell me if I miss something!, fingering, soft sex implied after

Song for your mood?

He could hear the shower as soon as he walked through your apartment door. Chances are you poorly timed it for his arrival, that’s okay! He smiles, striding over to the bathroom door. He can hear music playing but…

A knock.

“Mirio?!” He hears you call out, clearly you definitely didn’t realise what time it is… he can’t help but chuckle in response.

“Sure is! Mind if I come in? Or do you want privacy today?”

“…Come on in!”

He can’t help but smile softly, of course he wants you to know when those boundaries are set but it does always make it more fun when he can appreciate the natural state of your body. He gets himself all hyped up just thinking about it as he runs back out to the hallway, knowing EXACTLY which wall leads into your shower. He grins, letting his head phase through slowly.

Though, what he didn’t expect was for you to be totally ready for that, giving him a wet kiss on the forehead.

And my…

The view is impeccable.

“Haha… hey sunshine!” He calls out, glancing around. “I’m gonna come through, back up a little for me?”

You take a step back as Mirio phases through, his clothes obviously already off as he lets out a soft sigh at the hot water against both of you.

“I needed this…”

He looks a little surprised as he feels you press up against him, not in a… sexual way but it’s clear you needed some love right now. Mirio chuckles, pressing a soft kiss against your wet hair.

“And this. Is everything ok?”

“Rough day.” Is muttered out, your face smushed up against his chest. “…Memories is all.”

His smile flattens a little as he hears this, pulling you in more for a tight embrace. Mirio’s hand messing with your hair as he thinks on what he should say…

“You’ve come to trust me a lot more, haven’t you honey?” He asks softly, feeling you nod against his chest. “And I think… I really do think that’s incredible. I can’t imagine how it even feels but I can only imagine how incredible you are to be strong enough to keep going.”

You feel his chest let out a long huff, struggling to speak. He knows you don’t need words but he really wants you to know just how he feels. It’s incredible to watch from his perspective, and maybe it’s a little biased but Mirio truly, truly loves you for your strength. Even if he’s physically stronger, ehe.

He takes a step back, making you look at him as he smiles. “I really couldn’t be luckier to have met you, and to have your trust. I hope you know that.”

Planting a soft kiss on your wet skin again, he chuckles, noticing your wandering eyes. Maybe you hadn’t intended to look… there, but he knows sometimes you get embarrassed by these softer moments.

“Hey, hey, eyes up here sunshine.” He chuckles, leaning in ever so slightly. “Unless you…” He trails off, wondering if this is badly timed. “Hey, if I’m ever being a pig, tell me, okay?”

“You’re not.” Is all you can respond, fingers… ever so lightly trailing his abdomen. “I’m really glad you found the patience to love me.”

He smiles brightly again, his hair completely flattened by the water at this point as his hands wrap around your butt. He’s careful, pressing you up against the shower wall.

“Honey… I would have waited years for you if you needed it.” He chuckles. “Of course… I am glad to be here. Right now. With you.”

There’s a long pause.

“…Can I-“

“Yes.”

He smiles softly, pulling you into a gentle kiss. His fingers are careful, feeling around your hole before a single digit slips in. The small gasp and whine as he presses in is enough to already start making him go crazy but today… today he’s going to make sure you feel nothing but loved. His movements are slow, precise as he feels your body respond oh so positively to him. And his body aches for you.

“Now… one more question.”

“Mm?”

“Do you want to keep going here or…?”

[cielcreations]

The Heart Doctor - Rancher Duo

Inspiration from this wonderful comic called "The Heartsmith" by miyuliart on Twitter! Make sure to check them out!

"Oh, Doctor, thank you so much!" The woman sobbed, hugging the man, her little girl just as happy. Both cried happy tears as the little girl hugged her stuffed animal.

"D-Doctor, you're t-the best!"

"Of course!" The dirty blonde smiled, gently hugging back. He pulled back and smiled, "Trust me, when I was mending her heart, I could feel the love for you. She never once blamed you."

"D-Doctor..." The woman smiled brightly.

"You are a strong woman, an even stronger mother. And your daughter learned her strength from the best." He reassured before kneeling down, smiling at the little girl, "And you, little missy! I don't want to see you back here, got it!" He teased, poking her nose, the girl giggling, "You're a feisty little one, so don't go around giving your heart to anyone else until your older and you're ready! Hearts are very special, so be careful, okay?"

The little girl smiled, hugging the man, "Th-Thank y-you, Doctor!"

"Of course." He hugged her back. 

The two ladies bid their final goodbyes as they left, the man waving back. He turned away and sat at his desk, taking out a needle and string to begin to mend the heart in front of him.

Brrrrring!

"Welcome!" The man exclaimed, turning, "I- Oh, hello there! Was wondering when you were going to show up!"

The man smiled, "Hello, Doctor. A pleasure to see you as always." He turned, "Helped the mother or the daughter."

The doctor sighed, "Such a painful one, Tango. Poor little girl went through so much pain, but I managed to help her."

Tango sat in a chair, the doctor rolling over, both across from each other. Tango smiled and leaned against the counter, "You help everyone, Doctor."

"Come now, I told you, just Solidarity is fine." The dirty blonde gently took the other's hand in his, "And not everyone."

"Not this again..." Tango teased.

Solidarity kissed his hand, "I won't push, but I will remind you I care for you, light."

"And I care for you, Soli. I'm just... not ready."

"I understand." He reached out to the other's cheek, stroking it, Tango leaning into the touch, "Just remember, I'm hear to mend your heart when you need me. Whenever you're ready, I will happily warm your frozen touch."

Brrrrring!

"Welcome!" Solidarity called, seeing a short dirty blonde with green eyes, "Hello there! I'm the Heart Doctor, how can I help you?"

The dirty blonde seemed hesitant, "Am I...? Interrupting...? I-I'm sor-"

"No, you are not." Tango stood, "I should actually get going anyways." He smiled at the dirty blonde, "Never apologize to the Doctor, he will take care of you. He's amazing."

The man then left, Solidarity smiling at the other, "That's Tango. He's a great friend of mine. He comes in everyday just to check on me. Here, sit." The other did as Solidarity sat across from him, "How can I help  you?"

"Um... there's this guy I-I like... Two, actually... They're very sweet and lovely and patient with me and I do... I want to love them but... I can't... A-And I heard that if somethings wrong with y-your heart, you come here... I've just never did before because I don't have a lot of m-money and I-I still don't and-"

"Hey, hey..." Solidarity held his hands up, "I don't accept money as payment."

"Y-You don't? T-Then how do I pay you back...?"

"Simple, when I'm done mending your heart, you owe me one thing-" He lifted his hands, pointing to his cheeks, "A smile!"

The man in front of him blinked, "...A... smile?"

"Yep! But, we can talk about that afterwards. May I see you heart?"

"Oh, right... I-It's... really bad..." The man cupped his chest before bringing it out. Sitting in his hand was a heart nearly torn in half, ugly black cracks coming from the tear.

The doctor sucked in a breath, "Tsssk, poor guy. Really damaged, huh? Old wounds that never got healed?"

"It tore when I was in highschool. An ex boyfriend he, well..." The man looked away, "I... I went to a lot of therapy and stuff but my heart... it never..."

"I understand. May I?" The man nodded and Solidarity gently took it into his hand, "...You waited awhile, huh? These wounds run deep."

"S-So, I might never feel love for them?" Tears came to the man's eyes.

"Now, now, I didn't say that!" Solidarity smiled, "I'm the Heart Doctor! I mend every single heart that comes through that door! However, I just might need to hold onto it! It should take me two, maybe three days!"

The man widened his eyes, "R-Really?"

"What's your name and number? I will fix it and then call you, okay?"

The man smiled brightly, "T-Thank you, Doctor!"

"Of course. Now, name and number?"

"O-Oh, right! It's Grian!"

The man gave him his name and number before he left. Solidarity smiled and turned to the heart.

"Don't worry, I will fix this." The man put on some gloves, "I always do."

***

Brrrrring!

The doctor turned and smiled, "Hello, wel- Oh, Grian!"

"Hello! U-Um, you called saying it was ready a-and so I brought one of my b-boyfriends!"

"And I got cake!" The brunette beside him explained, "I figured it would be a bonus for working hard!"

"Oh, wow, thank you!" Solidarity rolled over as Grian and the brunette sat in front of him, placing the cake on the counter, "What kind?"

"Vanilla, it's the easiest!"

"Heck yeah! I love vanilla, thanks again! Now, about your heart!" Solidarity smiled, getting a black metal box from under the counter. He then offered the box, "Go ahead, open it!"

Grian did and gasped, "T-That's... my heart?"

"It looks brand spanking new!"

Solidarity smiled, "Go ahead."

Grian hesitantly held the heart before putting it in his chest. He gasped.

"A-Are you-"

"I-I FEEL AMAZING!" Grian smiled brightly, turning to his boyfriend, "S-Scar, I love  you and Mumbo so much!"

Scar blushed and laughed, "We love you-"

"N-No, I-" Tears came to the dirty blonde's eyes, "-I can feel it! I can feel just how much I love you, just how much I love Mumbo! I-I-!" He turned to Solidarity, "Y-You made me-!"

"I only mended your heart." Solidarity took his hand, "When you've gone through things, you sometimes need a little help to remove the trauma and fear from your heart. After I did that, I just sewed it back together. You could always feel love, you were just a bit scared. And that's fine. Sometimes, you just need a little help!"

Grian smiled brightly, "T-Thank you..."

"Of course."

The two smiled and left, Grian practically bouncing from excitement. However, before the door could close, someone caught it and walked in.

"Hello, light!" Solidarity smiled, opening the container with the cake, "Would you like a piece?"

Tango smiled and nodded, "I would love one."

They sat in front of each other, smiling and eating their cake together.

"Another heart fixed-"

"Mended." Solidarity corrected, "I don't fix anything. No one needs to be fixed."

Tango smiled, "Right..." He took another bite, "...Say, how... how busy are you, Soli?"

"What do you mean?"

"With work...?"

The doctor blinked before he smiled, "All the hearts I needed to mend, I finished. I'm just making new hearts for people who don't have one."

Tango hesitated, "...I think... I think I'm ready..."

"Ready?"

"Ready for you to... to fix-"

"Mend."

"Mend my heart..." Tango smiled, "I... After seeing you helping that man...? How happy he was with his heart mended, how he could finally love his boyfriend... I... I want that. I want that with you."

Solidarity smiled, "I'd be happy to help you."

Tango hesitated but brought out his heart. It was an icy blue, cracks in the heart, it looked like a shard of ice itself.

"...It's bad, I know..." Tango said, tears in his eyes.

"It's beautiful." Solidarity gently took it, "I will take good care of it. I will mend it, Tango. Might take a few days, but it will be brand new, I promise. Your heart will be mended, it will be okay."

Tango smiled, "...I lo-"

"Say it when your heart is mended." Solidarity grabbed his hand, placing a gentle kiss on his hand, "That way, I can see the explosion of emotion, a beautiful, real, smile on that beautiful face."

Tango blushed and smiled softly, "I can't wait."

The two smiled at each other and waved, Tango leaving.

Solidairty looked at his heart, "My poor light... don't worry..." He hugged Tango's heart, "I will mend your heart. Everything will be better."

***

Brrrrring!

"Soli?"

"Perfect timing, light!" Solidarity spun around in his chair, a black metal case in his hand, "Your heart is all mended!"

Tango's eyes widened, "Really? After two days? I-I thought you said-"

"I may have pulled an all nighter..." Solidarity giggled.

"Soli..." Tango narrowed his eyes, teasing.

"Come on, I was excited!" The dirty blonde giggled again, "Now, sit! Sit!"

Tango laughed and sat in front of him. He opened the case and gasped. A normal, red, glowing heart was in front of him. He took it in his hand, it felt so warm. Tears came to his eyes as he hugged it into his chest, letting out a sob.

"Well?" Solidarity asked.

"It feels-!" He jumped over the counter, tackling Solidarity into a hug, "S-So good! It's so warm! I-I can feel my love for you! It feels so good, I love you, so much!"

Solidarity sat up, hugging him back, "I-I'm glad..." The other coughed a bit.

"O-Oh my goodness! Are you-"

"I-I'm fine." Solidarity smiled, cupping the other's cheek, "I knew your smile would be the prettiest!"

"...Soli, you're cold..."

"I-"

"Your heart, let me see it!"

"Tango!"

"Soli, please! What did you do?!"

The dirty blonde bit his bottom lip before he took out his heart. Tango gasped, seeing... seeing an icy blue heart, black cracks and tears in it.

"...Soli-"

"I tried to mend it. I could unfreeze it but then the cracks would start to completely tear, way too fast. I wouldn't be able to mend it before it tore completely."

"...Then... who's...?"

Solidarity put the heart back into his chest, "There's a reason I became a Heart Doctor, Tango... I wanted to mend people's hearts, because I didn't want people to have the same pain that I carried in my heart." He poked Tango's chest, "The heart that you have is mine. And that heart used to be completely black and torn to pieces. No one, not even I, could mend my own heart. At least, that's what I thought." He smiled, gently stroking Tango's cheek, "When I met you, my heart mended itself."

"It... It did...?"

"It turned into the glowing, bright red heart you have right now." The dirty blonde gently hugged him, "I think... I think that was a sign for me. Not only did I love you to death, but... if you ever needed me, I would do anything for you."

"Soli..." Tears came to Tango's eyes, "I... I don't want you to walk around with my broken heart-"

"Who said it was broken?" Solidarity smiled, "Sure, it's a little torn and frozen, but I can still feel the love for you! You know why?"

Tango shook his head.

"Because you're the light of my life, Tango. My soulmate. So, as long as your heart is healed and mended, as long as you're happy, so am I."

Tango stared before he smiled, "I love you so much, Solidarity."

He smiled back, "And I love you just as much, Tango..."

***

"Tango... Tango...? Tango!"

The blaze gasped, turning, "Huh?"

"You okay?" Grian chuckled, "You kinda spaced out."

"Yeah, sorry, just..." Tango put his hand to his chest, "...Just remembering someone..."

"Who?"

"...The Heart Doctor."

Grian raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

"He... he saved my life, but sacrificed his own to do it." Tango smiled, "He gave me his heart and said we'd be together, we'd be soulmates. As long as I was happy, he would be too..."

Grian blinked, "You... You don't have to play Double Life this season if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel bad if you already have a soulmate."

"No, it's okay, I don't mind."

Grian hesitatedbut shrugged, the two stepping into the portal to the game. Once through, Tango's eyes met familiar light blue ones. He ran over and grabbed the other's wrist, staring in shock.

"...Doctor?"

[wretchedwoes]

Edgy dog vent doodles

[whumpshots]

Whump Snippet Saturday #19

Caretaker has been watching whumpee for quite some time now, having witnessed their body relax more and more around them and the group. It's something small and subtle, but great progress for someone who has been through so much shit.

Accidental touches don't cause them to panic anymore, a well-meant hand placed on their shoulder causes only a soft flinch - and most importantly - some relaxation afterwards. Sometimes caretaker gets the feeling that whumpee seeks the touch, but doesn't know how to communicate it.

Which is why caretaker has been watching them from the sofa for the past few minutes, patting the cushion next to them. "Want to sit down for a moment?", they ask and wait for whumpee to sit down next to them, not as vary as they were months ago.

It takes some awkward silence until whumpee scoots over, inch by inch, gaze averted like they are watching something interesting in the corner of this room. Until their shoulders touch.

Caretaker tries to hide their smile and carefully puts their arm around whumpee, who tenses up a little until they relax more and more. "It's okay, you can stay as long as you want." And whumpee does.

[lavend3r-stardust]

Do i really have a spidey sense everytime I sense my immigrant dad's evil energy from the sound of his heavy footsteps stomping up the stairs or is it just repackaged PTSD 🤔

[animanightmate]

I’ve not been putting out updates for these every time I add a new chapter, because so far they’ve been quite short and people would presumably be “who is this dude and what is he doing in the Muskieverse?!” but now his little journey is becoming more plot-relevant with some action and a new couple of characters.

Chapters: 11/24 Fandom: The Musketeers (2014) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Canon Era, Canon Compliant, Wartime, Franco-Spanish War, Thirty Years War, Embedded Images, Letters, Correspondence, Diary/Journal, Epistolary, monastic life, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Travel, Blood, Blood and Injury, implied trauma Series: Part 50 of All For One and, well, you know the rest..., Part 37 of All For One At War, Part 22 of All For One Correspondence Summary:

I believe I may have been brought here for a purpose, but I pray God guide me, for I do not know what it may be.

*

Another instalment in the long series of wartime correspondence (and other pieces based around the black box that is the Musketeers during the Spanish War).

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

Not so fun Bernadette note

[eldritchbean-shapeshifter]

Ugh I have a therapy appointment tomorrow and I'm so nervous T﹏T

I recently came to the realization that I wanna get top surgery (for both my gender and nonhuman identities) but I don't know how to talk about it.

I haven't told my parents about this yet. I'm really nervous when it comes to talking to them about stuff. They have been really great and accepting of my gender and nonhuman identities, but it's really awkward to talk about it with them. They are trying their best but they have a tendency to accidentally make me feel uncomfortable or ignored.

My parents love me a lot but we have verrry different opinions on things and they grew up in..... difficult times...... and it tends to show. They are trying so hard but they can't understand my situation and don't know what to do or say. despite their best efforts I feel like I can't really talk to them about anything.

The only person I've told is my oldest sibling. They were super great and supportive (and it helps that they are the one that gets this the most. They have their top surgery scheduled this Fall, and I'm really excited for them!!!) They were actually the one who helped me discover this, and they helped me process things when I first accepted that this is what I want.

The problem here is that a lot of places require a letter from a therapist/doctor, and I don't know what to do. I haven't even told my therapist about my nonhumanity yet. I really wanna be able to talk about it, but I'm scared. I really like my therapist and I don't wanna risk ruining things. I have only mentioned having body dysphoria to her once and that was really scary.

Do I try and talk about it tomorrow....??? Or should I continue to focus on the more immediate problems?

I've been having a lot of trouble eating lately. My autism has been causing a lot of problems in that most food sounds gross and inedible to me right now. That's what my therapist, my mom, and I have been talking about lately. Plus I've also had a really hard time getting myself to bed. The other night my dad found me still up and awake past 3 am. I am usually up past 1 or 2, and it's been taking a lot out of me.

I don't know what to do. I want to be open about my nonhumanity, and I really wanna be able to get the affirming care. But I'm really scared to admit it to others.