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somegrumpynerd · 4 months ago

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HEY. POINTS FINGER… any thoughts on how everyone reacted when the other joined the team? as in how did killer react when dust came, how did he and dust react when horror came, how did they all react when cross came, etc. i love love LOVE your bad sanses thoughts way too much they make me so happy. if i write hurt you write comfort and it’s awesome. also how do you think they slowly started to get closer? just.. bah give me your thoughts on them!!!! any thoughts!!!!!!!!!

You fool!! You’ve given me a chance to ramble about my special little guys and now this post will stretch on forever!! Mwahahahahah >:3c

No but seriously this is probably gonna be wicked long cause I have 1 million thoughts about these guys joining and meeting each other so uh, readmore for everybody’s safety and sanity

(^ I wrote that in the document before I started typing out my actual thoughts and uh

yeah no kidding, this is like a fucking essay so proceed with caution)

OKAY SO

I’ve said before that Nightmare got Dust for two reasons; one being that Dream had just recently started working with Ink (and soon Blue) so he and Killer were no longer able to gang up on Dream. He wanted somebody else to bulk up their numbers and give Killer a little back up. He also was starting to realise that Killer didn’t handle being alone very well, since this was when he most often got worked up and broke things around the castle (and sometimes tipped over into stage 3). Dust would be a perfect fit since he had the same amount of lvl and fighting experience as Killer, and since they were so close in circumstance they would be practically like brothers right?

The irony that he thought this about a guy he was recruiting to help kill his brother was apparently lost on him.

They absolutely hated each other. Like, it was instant. Killer saw him as a replacement, why would boss go out and get another sans - one with almost the same backstory as me - when I’m right here? Does he think I’m not good enough? Am I disposable and this is the backup for when I die in combat? He didn’t take it well. He took it all out on Dust too, not cooperating in battle, trying to start fights in the castle, etc. He couldn’t outright kill him because Nightmare had given him strict orders not to, but Killer loves a loophole. If he roughed Dust up down to 1hp and something else happened to finish him off, technically he’d followed orders.

Dust just straight up didn’t want to be there. Nightmare just showing up and yoinking him had worked fine with Killer, but Dust had wanted to sit in his empty au and die, he had no intention of joining a team or doing work of any kind - good or bad. The only reason he didn’t just lie down and refuse the entire time was that he had to fight back against Killer, as much as he wanted to die he refused to give this ass the satisfaction or lvl. He didn’t intend to be any help out in the field either, but again, Killer was making sure he got fired at so he had to retaliate to stay alive.

Eventually it got bad enough that Nightmare had to pull Killer aside and demand answers. In the year or so of knowing him Killer had never willfully disobeyed orders before, so Nightmare needed to know what had gotten into him. He dispelled the replacement rumour right away, he still wasn’t quite softened up enough to be sappy about it but he made sure Killer understood what a good worker he was and that Nightmare had no intention of losing him. It didn’t help a lot, they still hated each other for other reasons, but it eased a little.

Killer still had pretty frequent dips into stage 3, except now he would go straight for Dust usually. Nightmare had tried to explain what he’d learned about it to Dust, but he didn’t really believe that it wasn’t just Killer deciding to try and kill him for funsies. He only accepted it after a particular episode where he attacked Nightmare instead, which Dust knew Killer wouldn’t try in his right mind.

After he came back to his senses he sought Dust out. The air around Killer was very different after a stage 3, sort of sombre and almost calm, so Dust let them sit together and Killer apologised for giving him such a hard time. They actually talked for the first time in months while Killer was still calm (or tolerable, as Dust describes it), and it didn’t magically fix everything but, things were a little better. They still fought and argued and bothered each other but it wasn’t as sharp, there was a lack of real murderous intent in it all, and sometimes after an episode they would talk a little bit. It was the best Nightmare was going to get for now, so he took it.

They were still completely incompetent about taking care of themselves though. Neither of them would eat unless prompted and Nightmare didn’t have good enough knowledge of mortals to know when that should be to stop them passing out from hunger on the job. Not to mention the stars were now a full team, and with the way Killer and Dust would sometimes rather target each other on the field he could do with more backup.

Horror was the first of the group to get a choice in joining. Nightmare had taken note of how much Dust didn’t want to be part of things, and while it was in his best interests in the long run given his situation, Horror’s au was still mostly intact - though a little in disrepair. Horror was also the first in the group to have a good (and ongoing) relationship with his brother, so Nightmare knew he couldn’t just pop in and steal him, he had to be a bit more diplomatic with this one and offer a deal.

He gave Horror some time to think on his proposal - he would set up regular deliveries of food to Horror’s au in exchange for him joining their team - and was quite surprised when Horror agreed, with some stipulations. Horror was equally surprised when Nightmare agreed so easily to his terms (that he didn’t want his brother to know what he’d be doing, and that he wouldn’t kill). A little down the line the terms were altered to add that he would also be left to visit his au every week or so.

Horror was not impressed meeting the other two. He didn’t need his power as judge anymore to sense the lvl coming off them both, and given who they were working for he was instantly distrustful of them both (the uh, brother situation did not help). He was also in a place that had an abundance of food for the first time in probably years, so he was doing a lot of going hog wild in the kitchen and then getting very sick as a result.

Dust didn’t particularly feel anything for him. This guy hated him, sure, but it wasn’t forward and slashy like with Killer, it was just quiet loathing which was fine. That’s how Dust felt about himself so, y’know, mood. He did kind of feel sorry for him though, not just because of the whole famine and everything, but also because he was watching this guy eat like his life depended on it and then get sick and undo it day after day. He was the one who suggested Horror getting his food in moderation to Nightmare, which did help but was an absolute ordeal to enforce. Y’know how some people get hangry? Imagine that but you haven’t had a proper meal in years and now these people give you tiny amounts of food and don’t let you eat more for hours. The hunger mood swings were a sight to behold, you would never have guessed in those days that Horror specified not wanting to kill.

When his ability to eat had evened out and he was in better shape, Horror made a point of apologising to Dust for being aggressive with him. Over time he’d kind of softened up on him from his initial impression, since he could see plainly how wracked with guilt Dust was over his situation. It was a little easier to imagine that whatever he’d done was truly out of desperation and not just for fun, as Horror had assumed at first sight.

They also both retained that classic sans laziness, so it was easy for them to share a space while saying and doing nothing. It made Horror the first person that Dust willingly spent time around in the castle (and vice versa since Horror was still largely suspicious of Nightmare and Killer - the deal seemed too good to be true and the stage 3 episodes didn’t help). As time went on, Horror kind of became Dust’s emotional support skeleton in a way. Dust had become quite averse to touch in his solitude and Horror very slowly brought him back out with casual gentle touches, until not only did he no longer freeze or stiffen at being grabbed but Dust would seek him out to flop next to on the couch. Horror claimed it was just returning the favour for helping with his eating situation, but really it was nice to have something resembling a friend here.

Killer, for his part, was going through This is My Replacement 2: Electric Boogaloo. Not to the same degree as with Dust, since Horror was quite a bit different, but Killer was still wary of this new addition. He didn’t really instigate anything though since, to be honest, Horror had the intimidation factor. He was like a foot taller than both of them, he had a cracked skull and completely different magic and it seemed like every time Killer saw him he was eating bread like a wolf eats a deer. So while he was going through his food moderating, Killer mostly just stayed quiet and kept his distance.

Horror had not softened on him like he had with Dust, since Killer didn’t openly show remorse. He still watched him with distrust, especially after seeing the way he scrapped with Dust for seemingly no reason other than for violence’s sake. Killer was still mostly targeting Dust in his stage 3s, but Horror had to be careful to stay out of his way since he was still working with much lower hp than the other two. What did start to convince him was seeing how similar Killer and Dust were after a stage 3 episode. Once Killer was slightly more composed (ie stopped crying), he became so tired and quiet and blunt about things he normally joked his way around. It was a little startling, but also started to bring Horror around to the idea that Killer might regret his actions too, just buried under several layers of whatever the hell is also wrong with him at any given time.

Killer and Horror only really started interacting after talking about Dust. Killer was asking how he got Dust to like him since he seems to hate everyone and everything else, Horror told him very pointedly it was because he wasn’t trying to kill Dust. Killer admitted he wasn’t trying to kill Dust, at least not anymore, he just wanted to fight for fun. It opened up a better channel of understanding, knowing that Killer did not actually have murderous intent behind his swings (stage 3 notwithstanding). It made it easier for Horror to occasionally get involved in the roughhousing which Killer delighted in, knowing that the other two knew how to hold back enough to keep him from dusting.

Speaking of stage 3, it was around this time that Killer and Dust made a very important deal. After a particularly rough episode with a little too close of a call, Killer showed up in Dust’s room and begged him shakily to make a promise - that if he ever got too out of control during one of his stages, Dust would kill him. He’d been told over and over by Nightmare that it was impossible for Killer to hurt him since he was immortal, but now there were more people around him where that wasn’t the case, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he came out of a stage and found himself alone. Dust promised.

It’s also worth mentioning that, once they were all close enough to be on speaking terms, Horror started bullying the shit out of these two about eating. Now that Horror knew neither of them were going to kill him, he felt safe enough to pick them up by the scruff and set them at the table to say they weren’t leaving until they had at least a snack. He let them pick what they would eat - he wasn’t that cruel about it - but he had to see them eat at least 3 times a day or they would hear about it.

It was by no means perfect or regular, but after about half a year Nightmare finally had henchmen who ate food and worked together (mostly).

Now here’s the problem… I still haven’t really figured out how or why Cross joined the team. Like, obviously there’s some kind of point in the events of underverse where it splits off into an alternate timeline, but I haven’t really figured out where yet so. Leave that one with me just a little longer. Cross joins.

Nightmare really truly didn’t intend to take anyone else in. They were (mostly) getting along, they were pretty well matched to fight the stars, he had no need of more mortals.

…but he was also pretty soft at this point. Every one of them had taken a blow to his I’m immortal I’m an island I don’t get attached to others persona and he’d gotten pretty damn fond of them all. This was why when he felt the sheer weight of loneliness radiating off of Cross, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave him.

So Cross entered the castle.

He did not particularly intend to stay or make friends, he was trying to get his world back and nothing more. He even revealed a little down the line that he outright refused to kill, and was quite surprised to find that Nightmare was fine with that. At the start he was polite but not friendly with the others and mostly kept to himself.

Dust, as is often the case, did not really have an opinion. Another new guy, this one was self sufficient and didn’t bother him so he had no reason to get involved. He was content to be in the same room as Cross but didn’t start up any conversations.

Horror felt the need to speak to Cross, since Dust would happily stay silent for years and Killer was, well, Killer. Horror was somehow the closest thing to normal they had, so he was the one that made small talk. Mostly asking what Cross would like for meals and encouraging him to pick something he liked when he got the answer of “anything is fine”. As Cross settled in a bit more and actually opened up, they bonded over being the only two to enjoy food. Horror made a point of adding chocolate to the stock they kept in the kitchen and making tacos here and there for Cross.

Horror was also the first Cross kind of warmed to, mostly because he was the one devoid of lvl and Nightmare had mentioned he’d also said he wouldn’t kill. Learning a little about his au’s situation only softened Cross to him more, especially seeing that he still cared a lot for his brother and was trying to protect his home (even if Cross found it unthinkable that he lived away from it). It was through Horror that he also got accustomed to Dust, how being quiet and distant was kind of his default and that he also felt deeply haunted by the loss of his world. They weren’t exactly friends, but it was comfortable enough.

So now boss had taken in another new person, someone who takes orders like a soldier and fights with knives and ruthless precision and aims to be his righthand man, and Killer was ecstatic. By now he’d mostly put his fears of being disposable behind him, Nightmare had gotten a bit less subtle in showing how important they all were to him and Killer felt confident he wouldn’t be replaced. Which was a little bit funny, because the only guy he didn’t feel threatened by was the one who absolutely competed for his spot.

Cross needed to prove he was useful, he had to feel like he earned his keep and that all the training and suffering he’d done was for a reason. When Nightmare sent them on missions, Cross aimed to be the fastest and the most efficient and to report to Nightmare without question. Horror and Dust looking on would have expected Killer to see this 100% as a threat to his position as (self proclaimed) Nightmare’s second in command, and to go for this guy’s throat when nobody else was around.

But Killer was fascinated. Cross was completely different from any of them, bar Nightmare whose au is a whole different kettle of fish, so he had a certain element of unpredictability to him. Horror and Dust were both based on classic sans just like him, so to a certain degree he knew how they would feel about most things and what they might say, the only differences being in what they had experienced through their own timelines. Cross was based on a swap sans and his au had taken wild twists and turns away from usual events, so Killer had to learn everything about him by poking and prodding for answers or observing from a distance, much like back when it was just him and Nightmare. Cross was something new to be studied and Killer loved taking notes.

Cross did not see this as friendly. He was competing with Killer for approval, not realising Killer was playing their contest like a game. When he saw Cross training he would jump in to spar for fun, but Cross saw his rival trying to get a jump on him and take him out of the running. When Killer would hang around and pester Cross in their off time with questions, it didn’t seem like someone taking interest, it seemed like someone being nosy and looking for weaknesses to exploit. When Horror mentioned that Killer was being surprisingly contained and friendly, Cross really thought he was fucking with him.

The first time Cross was willing to even consider this was the case was when his locket came loose on the field and Killer ran back to find it, since one of the notes he’d taken was how the locket wasn’t something Cross would play about (the same as Horror with food). It didn’t make sense for someone who was seriously competing to have him kicked out to just hand his necklace back, no ransoms or attempts to crush it to upset him, just some vague remark about “owing him one” and then right back to Nightmare for orders.

Cross had to give him something of a chance after that, Horror helped a lot by telling him “he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just doesn’t know how to be normal”. It was mostly a playful jab at Killer, but reframing their interactions changed it significantly for Cross. Now they were sparring playfully and having friendly competition on jobs. He wasn’t as put off when Killer went into stage 3 because he knew he could match him in combat and the others were always on hand to help restrain or distract him. Cross also took note of how Killer calmed down a lot for physical touch, not unlike how Dust had warmed up to Horror. It went a long way into not only making him a little less combative for attention every day, but it seemed to put longer stretches between his episodes (which Cross had also started tracking so they wouldn’t be caught out by them as much).

For his part, Killer has disobeyed instructions in the past to benefit Cross, usually ignoring the task to help him if he’s hurt. He’s also given Nightmare nudges towards praising him because he’s noted that that’s what Cross needs in the same way he needs touch (not that Nightmare doesn’t praise them normally, but when Cross is going through it and needs something). He also doesn’t particularly like chocolate but has made a point of not admitting this to Horror so he can give his chocolate to Cross.

(It’s also worth noting that Cross is the only one, besides Nightmare, that has been to Horror’s au. He offered to help out during the food delivery and got to meet Horror’s Papyrus (who he is a little intimidated by but ultimately friendly with, even though it’s a little weird since he’s a good bit different from his own Papyrus). Dust and Killer can’t really visit for a few reasons, mostly because everyone will notice their lvl immediately and know what they’ve done. Dust especially doesn’t know how he would react to having a Papyrus in front of him again and doesn’t want to put Horror's family at risk to find out. Whenever he visits, his Papyrus asks about Cross now and sometimes tries to make tacos for him (key word tries, he’s still a Papyrus after all). He may have joked that seeing Cross sometimes is “like having another brother but younger and less lazy” and when Horror told him this Cross may or may not have cried.)

And that’s where we are now!

They’re a very strange group who’ve been through some inexplicable events and have all changed each other in one way or another. And whether or not it can be admitted, they are a family c:

Now onto how Nightmare was made emotionally open by each of them!! In this essay I will no just kidding could you imagine this is already like 7 pages long

If you got to the end of this post please drink some water and get yourself a snack

#Ask #Wickjump #UTDR #UTMV #Truce au #Tagging that since this is the events I'm working off for these guys #My fanon canon if you will #Also I am SO sorry oh my god #This is like an essay for a degree I could submit this for peer review akdghjdjfsjl #I didn't mean to say so much I swear this was me trying to keep it concise!!#I think I've genuinely spent like 6 hours writing this between last night and this morning #Which is wild because like whose attention span is this??#Anyway I have a lot of thoughts about these guys (clearly)#I have given them a lot of events that I haven't really drawn or written about yet #There's a couple of things in here that I've referenced before here and there #But I guess this is kind of a masterpost for it all #Man I have to go to work in like an hour this was wild akdguigfgy #WICK THANK YOU!!!! This was really fun to do and it's got me excited to work on my other stuff in the background :D #And when I get back from work I'm gonna think of an ask to get you rambling next >:3c #But for realsies thank you so much this was super sweet and really fun <3

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sysig · 6 months ago

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Wuh oh (Patreon)

Bonus:

The novel experience of being crushed by a giant rock, a visual metaphor

#Doodles #ISaT #Siffrin #Loop #Yaaaay suffering <3 <3 <3 #Lol #Starting with a cute practice Sif to get used to drawing them a bit more they're so cute what the heck #He's so shaped I love that for him and about him #Crisp design very nice #Sif really is the embodiment of ''Ignorance is bliss'' and being so maladjusted about it :'D #His memory issues make the me a sad #Ironically I try not to think about it too hard or else I'll get Really sad lol #Memory is the foundation of individual personhood! It's such a tragedy weh #Him brushing things off by falling back into his issues is just so agh Sif no you deserve better!#Some sillies lol I never know if I should give content warnings for these kinds of jokes - I don't make them often!#Loop's line in the Jello streams is So good I couldn't not lol #Happy Wednesday fr btw lol yes I did do that on purpose #The last one agh the red and like - can we talk about Sif (and Loop's and Odile's) specific portraits where their hands do the spark thing??#I always forget how art can be Whatever and that overlapping/removing lineart to imply shapes and movement and just jfdslafd #It's so cool I love it so much it's very inspiring #The bonus is mostly a joke lol - again while watching the Jello streams Lenti was talking about how much she relates to Sif #And I was privately like ''Haha thank goodness I don't relate to him! Couldn't be me!'' And Then #It's fine lol I'm aware of my overlapping issues - I fall more on the Isa side of ''Sounds fake but okay'' but yeah.....yeahhhh lol #As long as I don't get trapped in a time loop about it! Poor Sif haha

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maridoodles · 2 years ago

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the technique™, the form, the vibes...

#uh is this spoilers #i really liked seeing them finally do something in ep 7 #thank you again sunshine for the gun refs sorry i used it for evil lol #trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #my art #stampede saturday #fan art #fanart

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tereferka · 1 year ago

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Worry is like a rocking chair, it keeps you occupied, but it gets you nowhere

I am very happy to present to you all my fanart I made for @vashwoodbigbang event! Made in collaboration with @snowpoet123 - author of the absolutely amazing bittersweet fanfiction that you will be able to read on her AO3 account! And here is a direct link to her work❤

Thank you @snowpoet123 for everything, it was fun to illustrate your work 🧡

#vashwood big bang #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicolas d wolfwood #kuroneko #trigun #trigun art #its been a while since i last drew anything #i just had definitely less time and inspiration for drawing lately or even visiting tumblr really #and i guess now i won't be as active as i was few months ago but im gonna do something from time to time #but still i see almost every time i am here some likes and reblogs. its so nice of you guys thank you #im really glad i decided to participate in this event. otherwise I wouldn't have drawn anything during this time i guess #and the opportunity to draw them in this peaceful way was also the best thing i could have got #traditional art

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mel-loly · 8 months ago

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-I'm back, my dear people! Did you miss me? :]

(I hope so, because it took a while for me to find time to come back- also.. sorry for the bad art😃👍)

#hey everyone!! I'm alive :DD #are you all okay? I hope so! and if not. I hope you be better soon❤️#(I basically took this time off because because I wasn't well.. I was really and really bad...#with several anxiety attacks and depression problems again.. thank god it got better and now I feel okay ^^#also- a lot of things changed in my life and I still haven't managed to organize everything.. as well as the drawings...#I have just a “few” drawings to post.. but I hope you still like it and bear with me :']#I promise to do more and answer you guys when I have time! <33)#a little spoiler: there will be some new things coming to this blog- hope you guys like it :D <33 #i'm back!#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog #art #my art #my art <3 #art mel #my art style #mel designer #mel loly #my oc character #tw vent #?#random vent

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dootznbootz · 8 months ago

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I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home, to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

#Thank goodness I don't have tiktok >:)#I wish there was a way to like. have anonymous posts? because I made that PTSD post to show how him refusing to be bathed #by Nausica's maids and him choking Euryclea and was giving reference to make a point but I wish I wasn't like. Known for this???#but like... I HAVE something to say. Having specific knowledge of some things just...really makes it clear in what happened that I don't #think others have considered.#And I was afraid if I was “vague” then people would say “You're just saying that to get sympathy points” and I didn't want to deal with #that :'D plus like in his outbursts I saw myself you know?#I just kept thinking “oh shit. I KNOW what you're doing because I did it too aAAAAAHHHHHHHHh”#I relate to Helen too but in a way. The Odyssey shows her “HEALED” (which fuck yeah!!! YESSS!!!😭) it doesn't show the #PTSD in the same way as she's had many years to recover. Watching it happen in “real time” for Odysseus was...really nice.#i said it before but the Odyssey feels REAL compared to the “girlboss queen slay” shit. Him tryiing to force himself into normalcy #only to act out is...yeah.#save me morally gray circe #ask #anon #Mad rambles #tw sa #tw ptsd #tw sex assault #anti madeline miller #anti circe #essay

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i-may-be-an-emu · 1 month ago

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MASTERLIST IS AT 100 WHOOOO

(It’s here by the way, and my pinned post :))

#shoot from the hip #sfth fanfiction #I hope that it’s helpful for finding fics and stuff :)#I’m so proud of all the writers thank you all you’re all so amazing #Ik I’ve said this before but when I joined the fandom there was like less than ten fics I think #There was 4 you could easily find #And then a few more that were pretty hard to locate #So this is amazing #Thank you writers #(I really need to finish my fics 😅)#I will be doing a recount when I have energy because I don’t trust my dyscalculia but currently I think it is at 100 :D

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teddybeartoji · 2 months ago

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genuinely don't understand the ppl who like to point out very obvious things like scars and other skin problems liiiike what is the reaction you're hoping for lmao my dad took one look at my legs and the scars and went "it's ugly" ya no shit sherlock hjsadhgsghdghsahgd oh no i do it bc i think they look so so very beautiful mf can you please keep your fuckass comments to yourself

#i just replied with “they are :D” and that ended the convo #and he wonders why i don't want to talk to him lmao #he's so unserious #btw it IS fine #like i really do live a spiteful life bc the more he keeps commenting on my legs the more i want to wear shorts #gonna be wearing shorts during winter just to spite him #RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH he's so fucking stupid #comments that i'm breaking out as if i don't know it too #ah yes thank you for letting me know i wasn't aware of that #it's not like i stare at myself in the mirror for hours on end but yk #😭😭😭😭#he pisses me off so bad lmao #anyway it's whatever i just needed to get this out #so we can all hate on him together yayyyy #mayor of loserville #tw vent #tw skin picking

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dawnthefluffyduck · 4 months ago

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New game interest unlocked

(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)

#ramarl #phantasy star online #long tag warning lol i rambled #so i was introduced to phantasy star online #i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game #thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now #there shall be more of these doodles #i promise you that #meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh #my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it #so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get #but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot #and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them #so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away #hooked the battery back up and bam car was working #so the issue was those hooks #until two days ago when my car didnt work again #looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again #and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED #at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this #i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting #but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it #i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system #or a jeep #but preferably a bus system #sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 1 year ago

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Dancing with the devil...

@estelletheskeleton forgot to add this here but here you go >:Dc

#illustration #my art #dust sans #utmv #undertale au #dust!sans #dusttale #dust #i wasn't sure if i was gonna post it today but it's midnight now so it technically counts as tomorrow right?? ;D #all thanks to you drag if you're reading this! you never ask for anything so how could i say no to you precious bean?? >:'Dc <3333 #anyways hoo boy you guys sure liked my last dust drawing!!#which still baffles me to this day cause like. first of all i really forgot just how many of y'all liked this crusty dusty man HHH #and second i'm sorry but why is it always the art that i'm 'meh' about always the ones that pop off?? i was hiding my head in shame-#nitpicking it like crazy but then going ''eh it's not like people are gonna see this one so *shrugs*'' posting it then going °O°??!!#sorry i just never like any of my dust drawings for some reason cause i can't!! get the hang of his whole silhouette/hoodie/face combo!!#he always looks so stiiiiff in my art i'm sorry dust stans you draw him so elegant and i can't do him justice xD #((side note but the phrasing of the ask made me giggle the first time i saw it xD #thanks estelle and i really do draw if it weren't already already clear by now hhhh :'Dc <3333))#anyways i'm rebloging it later in the day for those of you that are asleep rn so bye for now >:Dc hope you liked this one<3333

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moonyspetwolf · 5 months ago

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Okay so I’ve seen like 20 videos on tiktok of people saying they have no idea how exy is played so I’m gonna make a post about how I understand the rules. I’m not really an athlete but I know a bit about sports and I also coincidentally went to the same school that PSU is based on

(I haven’t read the books in like 5 years so if I’m wrong about something feel free to correct me)

First thing, exy is played inside, not outside. The game can’t work in an outdoor stadium and I’ll explain why in a minute. The stadium is like a combination basketball court and hockey rink. Wood flooring and plexiglass walls surrounding the court. There are two goals on each end.

Okay so the lineup. From what I remember there’s 4 positions you can play on an exy team: dealer, backliner, striker, and goalie.

Backliner is pretty straightforward just classic defense. They protect the goal and focus on the other team’s strikers. I think it’s similar to basketball where they’re assigned a mark (opposing striker) who they have to cover during the game. That doesn’t mean they’re not free to move or check other strikers either, but basically they try to stop the other team from scoring any goals. I’m not sure if it’s against the rules for them to make an attempt on a goal or not.

Strikers are similarly straightforward. They’re straight offense. Their job is to get as many goals as possible. They work against the opposing team’s backliner and shoot at the goal

The dealer is the most confusing position but I think they basically control possession of the ball, so I think their job is to get the ball from the other team and make sure it gets to their strikers. At the start of the game or after any breaks they’re the ones who deal the ball and try to pass to their teammates. Idk if they operate similar to backliners or not, like checking, tackling, etc.

The goalie is the same as any other sport- their job is to protect the goal. Goalies have special racket that are bigger and heavier than other players. They also wear special padding to protect them since they’re constantly getting exy balls chucked at them and often have to use parts of their body to block them.

(Side note: if exy balls are anything like lacrosse balls they seriously hurt to get hit with. They’re dense and heavy, when they work up enough speed it feels like getting hit by a slightly bouncy cannon ball)

From what I can remember, at any given time there are two backliners, two strikers, one dealer, and one goalie on the court for each team. Players are subbed in and out as needed (I might be remembering the numbers wrong, maybe they have 3 backliners at a time idk)

Exy is a high contact sport similar to lacrosse, so players are free to use physical force against each other. They can check, tackle, and basically do whatever it takes to get the ball. Just like in hockey, players often get into fights. Excessive use of violence can get them flagged by referees, but it’s by no means a gentle sport. Players go into it with the expectation of getting thrown around and bruised.

Players wear padding and helmets to protect themselves, but bruises, sprains, concussions, and broken bones aren’t uncommon within the sport.

There are some basic rules for how the game is played. Exy is kinda like lacrosse in that players pass the ball back and forth with their raquets. I don’t know a lot about all the rules of lacrosse but I know exy has a rule about possession that’s similar to basketball. In basketball a player has to dribble the ball while they’re moving, if they hold it in their hands without dribbling for too many steps it’s called traveling and it’s a foul. Exy is the same, a player can only be in possession of the ball for 10 (?) steps before they have to pass it. If they carry it farther than that it’s traveling (idk if there’s a special term for it in exy speak). There are ways for players to get around this. They can either pass the ball to a teammate after they’ve taken their 10 steps OR they can rebound it off a wall, catch it in their racquet, and keep moving. This is the reason exy has to be played inside and not outside, so that the players can use the walls. If it’s played outside they can’t rebound the ball and they have to rely strictly on passing back and forth, which isn’t always possible especially if a player is being heavily guarded. I’m not positive if this possession rule applies to all players or only strikers, but it would make sense for it to be all players.

I can’t remember if the books say anything about who is allowed to shoot at the goal. Obviously strikers can but I can’t remember if there are any rules saying backliners, dealers, and goalies can’t score points

The game is played in 2 halves, a total of 4 quarters. I’m not sure if the book ever says how long each quarter is but it’s probably safe to assume each is 15 minutes, so a total of 1 hour playing time. However with timeouts, breaks, penalty time and other interruptions games usually last far longer.

The foxes are a unique team because they’re much smaller than pretty much any other team in the league. They only have 9 players by the end of the year, so they can’t sub players in and out as easily. Most teams have upwards of 18 people so the players are usually on court for a much shorter time and have more time to rest between playing time. In the foxes vs. Trojans game, USC decided to play with the same size roster as the foxes meaning they rarely got to sub out players, which is why they were so exhausted by the end. Throwing yourself around a huge court at top speed for an hour is tiring.

That’s all I can think of at the moment, I’m not an expert and it’s been a while since I’ve read the books but I think exy is a pretty cool sport :)

#literally 2 people said they wanted to hear it that’s more than enough for me :))#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #mostly I wanted to make this because I think the rule about counting steps is really neat bc it makes the sport wayyyyy harder for no reason #tfc #exy #the raven king #the kings men #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #renee walker #dan wilds #the foxes #foxes #ao3 #the sunshine court #palmetto state foxes #psu foxes #sorry this is so long #and also probably unnecessary because this is a made up sport from a book series but I don’t care #it’s my hyperfixation I get to decide how seriously I’m taking the rules of exy #sorry for the long post thank you if you bothered to read all that I love you :D #long post #but yeah I went to the same school as Nora that she based the books on and it was super weird because I was a student when I read them and #I did NOT realize she went there too and it weirded me out how similar psu was to my school until I looked it up #I was like ‘they’re driving on cherry road? I LIVE ON CHERRY ROAD’#help how do I make this a read more post so it’s not 20 miles long #I FIGURED IT OUT

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yumizurueleonora · 3 months ago

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idk if you still want to take requests for the angsty sentence starter thing, but maybe 1 for akitoya, and then 13 and 17 for toya and harumichi? you can pick one or all of them haha

YES YES I AM THANK YOU GREAT PROMPT CHOICE I LIKED THIS :DD

1: “I’m just so afraid.”

Fuck. Fuck.

Akito can’t breathe.

He has to practice. He has to keep going.

The night stretches out, and that’s just another reminder of how Akito can’t stop.

Chasing that moon. That… gorgeous, delicate moon.

There’s so much fear in his chest. It’s suffocating.

That gentle voice is ringing in his head, saying words that make Akito’s heart shatter. Cutting him every time he tries to pick up the pieces.

“Don’t you think it’s about time you grew up and stopped chasing some tiny event that no-one’s even heard of outside of this town?”

It was a long time ago. Akito knows that. But…

But it’s still ringing in his head. He can’t stop it.

And that face is in his vision. Bruised and cold.

So cold.

He’s a terrible partner.

That voice keeps ringing in his head no matter how hard he sings.

And it’s only getting louder. Louder and louder.

“Akito!”

It’s almost like… he’s here…

His eyes flutter shut, and there are suddenly arms around him.

He doesn’t even need to see them. He knows those manicured fingers and long arms.

“…How’d you know?” Akito asks, and Toya chuckles softly.

“Partner sense.” He responds, but then his tone changes. “What are you doing, Akito?”

“Practicing.” Akito sighs.

“That wasn’t practice. That was… dangerous. Violent. Your voice was a honed blade.”

“Oh, come on. You’re exaggerating.”

“Am I?”

Akito stays silent, and Toya sighs.

“I’m afraid, Akito. I’m just so afraid for you.”

There’s another pang in Akito’s chest, and…

And Akito doesn’t know what to do.

So he just stays silent. In Toya’s arms. Feeling the pain that’s shared between them.

“Come home with me. My parents are out, we can play Pokémon or something.”

And Akito wants to tell him that he needs to keep practicing. That he’s also afraid. That he’s scared that Toya will leave him again, for good this time.

But he knows his partner. He won’t let that go.

So instead he just laughs softly and opens his eyes.

“Okay.”

And again, the pain continues. But that’s alright.

It’s alright for now.

13. “You never listen to me.”/17. “I have to leave.”

It’s always so… messy whenever Harumichi and Toya get into a fight.

Toya’s pacing the floor back and forth, an intense expression on his face.

It’s like looking in a mirror.

“You never listen to me!” Toya starts, his eyes flashing with a cold fire. “Why?! Why can’t you understand, Father?!”

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” Harumichi simply says, keeping his own temper under control.

It should come like second nature, but there’s a strange bubbling in his chest.

He’s a child. There’s no reason to yell.

But Toya keeps going, and he can’t keep repeating the same thing over and over again.

“Insolent child! You’re so stubborn!”

“Pot, meet kettle!” Toya snaps back. “Yes, I’m so stubborn! It’ll lead me to ruin! Then to my ruin I shall go! Why do you insist on dictating my life?!”

“Because for us, there is no other path for happiness than classical music!”

“No other path?! If someone told you that your only path to happiness was to be a doctor, when you can barely stand going to the hospital to see Saki, would your heart not strain to be free?!”

That sentence… breaks something in Harumichi.

And there’s an echo in his head.

That grating voice.

“Worthless, worthless, worthless! God, why did I have to be cursed with a child like you?!”

“That’s different.” Harumichi says, almost robotically, and Toya’s entire body tenses up.

“You don’t even care, do you? All you want is for me to be made in your image! I need to leave, I’ll be at the Tenmas’!”

Toya walks out the door and slams it behind him, and Harumichi collapses onto the couch.

He’ll never understand, will he?

That this is the only path for their family. It’s what they’re meant to do, and people will try to pull them away from it all their lives.

And they’ll go, for only a pinch of that sweet thing called love.

Fate has decided it long ago.

And all Harumichi can do is try to drag Toya back from that pain, that torture before it’s too late.

#surprisingly Toya’s the one that didn’t get a POV thing here #ask games #project sekai #proseka #Akitoya #akito shinonome #toya aoyagi #harumichi aoyagi #thanks for asking I really liked doing this :D #anyway hello unreliable narrator Harumichi Aoyagi projecting his own trauma onto his son #you’re a terrible dad but GOD are you fun to write #skye’s fic snippets

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