#I originally started writing this as just hey why do I feel afraid for no reason but then I spiraled. as you do

[lovelesslittleloser]

Anybody else ever get very sudden massive spikes in paranoia where you’re enjoying your life and having a good time until you suddenly are afraid to look out the window or go outside or listen because there might be a person watching you and trying to get to you even though there’s absolutely no reason to be afraid of that so you just check that the window blinds are properly closed and double and triple check that all the doors are fully closed and locked and go around the house making sure that all the doors that should be open are open and all the doors that should be closed are closed and that all the chairs and baskets are where they should be just to be certain that there’s nobody there before you sit in the only place you’ve felt any semblance of consistent safety and put in your earbuds or put on your headphones and blast music as loud as you can without hurting your ears and distract yourself by watching a YouTube video or by reading a fanfiction and just trying so incredibly hard to not think about things that you’ve heard of but never experienced?

Anyway I think that the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets genuinely taste better than the normally shaped ones and I do not care if it’s placebo because it’s still true what do you guys think

[ohmystaxk]

For there is beauty | Chapter One: What is science, if not risks?

[MASTERLIST] | [NEXT]

Tags/Warnings: Time Travel, Jayce is a Sweetheart, Jayce and Reader are childhood friends, Idiots in Love, Reader has a backstory, Undercity!Reader, Cait is Jayce and Reader's little sister, Protective Jayce, Jayce's Love Language is Physical Touch, Mutual Pining, Viktor-centric, Sassy Viktor, Viktor Needs a Hug, Viktor has a crush on Reader, Accidental Fake Dating, Miscommunication, Slow Burn Jayce/Reader/Viktor, Eventual Jayce/Viktor, Reader is greedy, Smut, Slow Romance, Romance, Canon Related, Possible AU timelines, Fluff, Angst, Reader has parents, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Not Beta Read

Summary: Life was simple. You woke up each morning, and walked the streets of Piltover with Jayce by your side, joking and laughing while Cait could only roll her eyes at the two of you. You worked hard on your research and studied double as much at the Academy to prove your worth. Each day was the same, but that was until you crossed paths with Professor Heimerdinger's assistant at the library one day. His name escaped you, but that never stopped your curiosity for the man. Viktor, he said his name was. And you left the library with that, not expecting to cross paths with him again.

It was then the nightmares began, dreadful glimpses of a world you wish to never exist. A world empty of life, happiness, and freedom. But they were only that, nightmares, nothing more. So why did they feel so vivid? So real, and tangible?

N/A: hello everyone! just like everyone else, I folded and started writing for arcane. I have only watched the show, so my knowledge is ONLY from it! english is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes you might encounter along the way.

I currently have 3 chapters written for the fic and I cannot wait to show them to all of you!

I have created playlists that I encourage you to listen to while reading (spotify, yt music and apple music) this fic!

spotify yt music apple music

I will also be uploading this to my ao3: @ohmystaxk

Track List: 1.Breakfast with Lou 2.Bewitched 3.Cinnamon Girl

The warmth was the first thing you noticed, something almost comforting. You let out a breath you were not aware you were holding in the first place. The blood in your body rose to your head as something touched your forehead; that same warmth now replaced your blood, running down every vein, clinging to each cell. It was becoming one with you.

“We were always one .” A voice, distorted and unfamiliar, spoke.

Your heart is empty of blood, only pumping warmth. Your chest is heavy, your lungs chasing for that last bit of air.

“Do not be afraid.” The touch on your forehead shifted to your cheek. “I am right here with you.”

You wanted to open your eyes, look around, and find where that voice originated. You tried to turn your head around, but the touch on your cheek moved to your chin, holding your face in place. Even when the touch was demanding, you did not feel threatened.

“Soon, you will see. ” The voice was different, almost that of a woman. “Truly see what has been hiding underneath. It is time for you to go back. ”

Your body suddenly regained its bearings, jolting you awake as you gasped. The morning light blinded you, forcing your eyes to close once again. Your heart beating worryingly fast, your head felt heavy, and your body tingled. The sound of faraway voices made your head snap towards it, your brows furrowed as footsteps crept closer your way. Then a knock came from the door of your bedroom.

“Are you awake? Did you stay up too late again?”

When you recognized the voice, you pushed the comforter away and stood up from your bed. Your head spun, and your vision went blurry. Suddenly, your knees hit the floor.

Your door flew open.

“Hey, what's wrong?” A pair of hands touched you, one on your back and the other on your forearm. “What happened?”

You grabbed your head with one hand, frowning from the buzzing feeling.

“I don’t think I’m feeling too good right now, Jayce.” Looking up to meet his eyes, you only saw worry in them.

“Yeah, no kidding.” He scoffed awkwardly.

He moved his hand on your arm towards your elbow while the other took your waist.

With some effort, he helped you stand up, walking you back to your bed.

“How did you get in?” You asked once you sat back down at the edge of the mattress.

“I remembered where you keep the spare key.” Jayce stood in front of you, his eyes looking around your room.

“Is everything alright?” You heard a voice coming from somewhere in your apartment.

“Did you bring Cait here with you?” You asked the man with a whisper, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Yeah, she wanted to come over to the workshop again.” Jayce crouched, amber eyes taking in your features. “Cait!” He called out to the girl.

“Yes?” She answered quickly, a bit of a tremble in her voice.

“Could you bring me a glass of water, please?”

“Oh...Yes!” You then hear the girl walk to what you knew to be your kitchen.

“Hey.” You looked back at Jayce, not realizing you had started to space out. “What are you feeling? Do you need us to take you to a clinic?”

“No-. Just…I’m just a bit dizzy, that’s all.”

Caitlyn entered the room, glass of water in hand as she eyed you. It was a similar look to the one Jayce was giving you.

“Thanks, Cait.” Jayce looked over his shoulder, and the girl walked over and handed him the glass.

“Are you alright?” She hugged herself, head tilted to the side.

“I will be, just a minute.” You sighed, bringing your hand to your temple.

“Here.” Jayce gently handed you the glass, keeping his hand on yours. “I still think we should take you to a clinic.”

“You look pale.” Cait pointed out, leaning against the small dresser in your room.

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” You rolled your eyes, scoffing as you finally took the glass and drank from it.

“Did you feel like this last night?” Jayce held the glass for you once you finished the water.

“No. I felt fine. I think…” Your mind wonders about your strange dream, and how it made you feel.

“What is it?” Jayce leaned closer, tilting his head to catch your gaze.

“I had a strange dream. It startled me. I felt just like I did now; I was dreading something.”

“What was it?” Cait asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

“I don’t know, my eyes were closed the entire time. I just heard a voice.”

Jayce frowned. He placed a gentle hand on your knee before he stood up.

“I think I will take Cait back to her house. I’ll come back with something for you to eat-.”

“No, I’m already feeling better, Jayce.” You stood up, your legs giving you the support you needed.

“You don’t have to exert yourself.”

“I’m not.” You looked at the man with a smile. “Besides, Cait and I know you will barely get things done if I’m not there to help.”

You gave his arm a quick squeeze. Then you walked towards your closet, opened it, and heard Jayce take a few steps.

“We can work on it once you feel better.”

“I feel better, Jayce.” You looked over your shoulder. The man sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m going to change and then we can head out.”

“Just-...Yell if you need anything.” He stepped back, then turned around, heading to the door. “Come on, Cait.”

The two of them walked out of the room, closing the door behind them.

You let out a heavy sigh, your hands going to your face. It was true that you were not feeling great, but you were feeling better than before. You stayed up late the night before, reviewing notes from Jayce's project, while also studying for your research paper. You had also forgotten to eat anything, perhaps that had affected you now.

Walking through the streets of Piltover alongside Jayce and Cait had become a bit of a routine for the three of you. Since Counsellor Kiramman had acquired the lab for Jayce, Caitlyn had started tagging along. Especially after she heard about your and Jayce’s projects. Cait was curious, always wanting to help the two of you with whatever was necessary. 

She seemed to enjoy watching you correct Jayce’s work, or talk to her about engineering and the theories for your research paper. It was funny really; two people in their twenties hanging out with a teenager, who they saw like a little sister. The truth was, Caitlyn, reminded you a lot of Jayce all those years ago. 

You opened the front door of your home, sunset had started to set by the time you arrived. You took off your bag and let it fall by the entrance, voices came from the kitchen, and you looked up to find your mother seated on the dining table, a woman across from her as the two laughed. Your mother’s gaze fell on you, a bright smile on her face as she widened her eyes.

“There you are! How was school, baby?” She stood up and gently placed the mug she had in hand on the table. “Come here, I want you to meet someone.”

You slowly approached the table, the other woman turned on her chair, and she smiled once she saw you. Her hair was a dark brown, almost black. Her eyes were light brown and she had a pretty mole next to her right eye.

“Oh, isn’t she adorable?” The woman said. Your mother met you halfway, placing a hand on your shoulder and the other between your shoulder blades, nudging you towards her.

“Say hi, baby.” Your mother brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Hello,” Your voice was small, just above a whisper. You played with your hands.

“Hello, your mother was just telling me about you. I’m Ximena, a friend.” She extended her hand to you, and with a trembling hand, you took it. “Oh, you are a bit shy. Please don’t be.”

“Ximena is a friend of your dad and me. She has a son your age, and we wanted the two of you to get to know each other.” Your mother explained with a smile. “Now, take a sit while I serve you dinner, you must be hungry by now.”

Your mother gently directed you towards the table, you took a seat and watched Ximena as she adjusted herself on her chair.

“Oh yes, my boy should be here any minute now. I believe the two of you go to the same school, but he is a year older than you, sweetheart.” At that you frowned, wondering who her son was out of all the boys in your school.

“Okay.” That was the only thing you could reply with. Under the table you kept playing with your hands, your nails picking at the skin.

“You didn’t tell me how school was? Did the professor grade the painting yet?” Your mother asked, your nails dug deeper into the flesh.

“I-it was okay. She liked it.”

“I’m glad she did! I told Ximena how hard you have been working on the art project.” You bit your lip, your vision blurring as you picked even more at the skin.

A knock came from the front door. Ximena stood up from her chair, fixing her skirt as she walked to the door.

“Must be my boy.” She said, you did not look up, your eyes focused on the markings on the table.

The door opened, and you tuned out the voices, your lips quivering as your vision became blurry. Your heart was heavy on your chest, and the next thing you knew, you heard your mother call your name.

In front of you was a boy, and his honey eyes were so bright and shiny. He smiled at you, a tooth gap on his front teeth. But his smile failed him, his brows furrowing as he looked at you.

“Sweetheart,” It was Ximena who spoke. “Are you alright?” You could hear the worry in her voice as you quickly stood up and ran to your room.

You shut the door behind you, falling face-first on the mattress as you started sobbing into the pillow. The door opened and you felt the weight shift the mattress someone sat down next to you.“What’s wrong?” Your mother brushed your hair away from your face. “Did something happen?”

You shook your head, sobbing even more. Your mother ran her fingers through your hair, traveling down to soothe your back.

“You know you can tell me anything, baby.”

“T-they they ri-pped the paint-ing.” You struggled in between sobs. Your mother immediately pulled you closer to her, hugging you tightly.

“Who did?” Your mother spoke at the top of your head.

“T-hey said I w-was an Under-city r-rat.” You cried even harder into the crook of your mother’s neck.

After your mother calmed you down and assured you the kids were wrong, she left you in your room to get you food. You lay in your bed, curled up as you traced the patterns on the wall.

“Did you paint those?” You quickly sat up on your bed, your head snapping to the door, standing there was Ximena’s son. His gaze was on one of the paintings on one of the walls of your room.

“M-my mom and me.” You replied, and your voice came out hoarse and small.

“And this one?” He pointed at another one, you now were by the edge of the bed, your legs barely touching the floor.

“Me.” When you said that, he turned to face you. Your face was puffed up, your eyes red from crying.

“I like it.” He said, and the boy walked up to you, he sat down on the bed next to you. “My name is Jayce.” You told him your name, and he smiled at you. “You have a pretty name.”

It was later you two shared your curiosity for science and inventions. You two finally found things in common; Magic, science, art, and literature. It was those moments that had led to your friendship of twelve years .

“Like I said, I was reviewing my notes.” You rolled your eyes. Jayce walked right beside you, your shoulders brushing.

“And are you sure to went straight to bed?” He leaned down a bit, wanting to see your face as you held the strap of your bag tightly. “Did you eat anything?”

“Well-.”

“I knew it!” He snapped his fingers, pointing forward as you tilted your head away with a sigh, closing your eyes. “I told you we could stop by and get some dinner.”

“I wasn’t hungry…” You looked at him.

Jayce’s hair was neatly styled. You could smell his aftershave as he leaned over, his arm reaching your right shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“Aren’t you the one always reminding me to eat? Especially when I don’t want to.”

“You do always remind him.” Cait shimmed in. When you look to your right to narrow your eyes at her, she simply shrugs.

“Thanks, Cait.” Jayce now wrapped his arm over your shoulders, pulling you even closer. “Which is why we are grabbing a bite before we head to the studio.” You threw your head back.

“I need to stop by the library first.” You glanced up at Jayce, his amber eyes narrowing. “Just remembered that I need to get some books.”

“Right now?” He asked with a pointed look.

“Might as well, the library is right across.” You pointed with your eyes at the massive building across the street.

Jayce slowed down his steps, making you slow down as well.

“Your research paper?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You gave his chest a quick pat and pulled back a bit, his arm sliding over your back before he too pulled away. “I still need to finish the draft before I can start working on the actual paper.”

You adjusted the weight of your bag.

“Think you feel better to head on your own?” Jayce scratched his head, eying you as you laughed.

“Don’t worry, if I need a big strong man to help me, I’m sure I can find one there.” You slapped his arm with the back of your hand. Jayce rolled his eyes, scoffing at the comment. “I won’t stay long, how about you start heading over and grab me something to eat? I’ll see you two in a few.”

“You want the same thing from yesterday?” He asked as you were already starting to walk away.

“Sure, sounds good. Cait, keep an eye on this one, don’t let him wander off with strange women.” You smiled at the girl, and Cait simply laughed with a nod.

“I-. I don’t wander off!” He called out once you started crossing the street.

“Didn’t hear you deny the last part though!” You laughed as you ran, holding your bag tightly.

The Piltover library was massive, with three floors and an impressive collection, even containing two extra lower levels for more restricted books and archives. You immediately went to the second floor, walking past tall bookshelves. The sunlight was casting different colors due to the stained glass from the windows. Then you took a turn, finding the section you were looking for. You stopped when you saw that someone was standing at the other end. He had brown hair and a strong nose, his focus deep in a book. The man leaned on a cane, the light filtering from the stained glass casting a yellow glow on him.

With a thud, he closed the book he was reading. He placed the book back on the shelf, his eyes looking at the spines. You recognized him as Professor Heimerdinger's apprentice; his name escaped you. 

You fixed your bag, and you focused on the book titles closest to you, trying to see if you could find what you were looking for. But with every two books you looked at, your eyes could not help but glance towards him.

You had always seen him around the academy, always on his own. Whenever you saw him, he would be reading a book or writing something down in his notebook. You had asked about him out of curiosity a good number of times to other students, they also seemed to barely know anything about him. Then there were a couple that mentioned how his mysteriousness was rather, attractive. But the only thing that everyone seemed to agree on was that he was… gifted . He had to be if he had caught the attention of the Dean.

Without knowing, you were already standing shoulder to shoulder next to him. You accidentally bumped into him.

“I’m sorry!” You immediately uttered, your eyebrows shooting up and your face burning hot. “I was distracted.”

He already had another book in hand. He looked your way, seemingly also surprised. His eyes scanned you, falling on your eyes before he spoke.

“No need to worry.” He said with an accent you didn’t quite recognize, it sounded nice. “I didn’t see you.” It suits him.

The man took a step to the side to create some distance between the two of you.

“Sorry.” You said more quietly, your eyes glancing back and forth between him and the shelves.

As you tried your best to compose yourself, your eyes caught sight of a book you were looking for. You looked at him, making sure you were not in his way, and reached for it.

“Excuse me, going to grab this.” You called out. 

You needed to finish the research paper, three months had gone by so fast that trying to meet the deadline felt almost impossible.

Once you picked it up, you noticed a few more and quickly grabbed them. You stepped back with your stack of books and turned around, heading back to the main hall. 

That was until you heard his cane and feet shift.

“Those are about Astrophysics.” The man suddenly spoke again. Your eyes widened as you stood in place. “Is it curiosity or for research?”

 You looked over your shoulder, your eyes meeting with his bright amber eyes; they were similar to Jayce’s, but perhaps they were a bit lighter.

“B-both.” You were caught off guard. After many years and countless times of seeing him around the Academy; this was the first time you had interacted with him.

“Um.” He gave a quick nod. His eyes shifted towards your books before meeting your gaze once more.

“It’s research. For my final.” You fixed your posture, your body turning to face his.

“I have…seen you before, in the academy.” He stated, shifting his weight on the cane more comfortably.

“Yes, I’m part of the Engineering department.” You put the weight of the books on your hip. “Or I was. I was part of Professor Heimendinger’s lecture last summer.”

“Oh.” He’s eyebrows rose a fraction. “I remember now. You sat close to the middle row.”

You remembered when you and Jayce had arrived at the lecture for the first time. How excited he was, talking your ear off as the two of you sat down. You remembered how dark the auditorium always was, except for the chalkboard and the podium the Professor stood. It became a habit to always sit in the same spot, not out of preference, but it just did. Sometimes whenever someone decided to take those two spots, you and Jayce would jokingly say things like ‘ The audacity. ’ or ‘ We should start carving our names on the desk at this point. ’

It was then you remember seeing the assistant in the corner of the room many times, almost like he was hiding in the shadows. You would meet his eyes on occasion, even in the dark you were always impressed by how bright his eyes seemed to shine.

“Yes.” You let out a chuckle. Your eyebrows furrowing. How did he remember that? “And you are the Professor’s assistant.”

His eyes fell on your hips, taking note of your posture. “I am, yes.”

“How did you get the offer?” You fixed the hold on the books. “That’s a very big opportunity.”

“My charms I believe.” He shrugged. You smiled as you let out a laugh.

“Oh yes, those are very important.” You took a step forward. “Every inventor needs them.”

“Not everyone has those.” He grinned as he placed back the book he was holding on the shelf.

“Do I?” You played along.

He stopped his hand, his fingertips brushing the spine of the book. He raised an eyebrow, amber eyes staring at yours with curiosity.

“Um.” He eyed you. “What is it that intrigues you the most? Astrophysics or Engineering?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. What a charmer , you thought.

“Why not both?” You tilted your head to the side with a grin.

He nodded with a smile. You noticed the moles adorning his cheek and upper lip.

“Well, what is it about Astrophysics that made you want to pursue it?”

“The many unanswered questions space holds from us; about gravity, the sun, and the moon. But I didn’t get into Astrophysics for that only. I am searching for something more, something out there in the universe.”

“Which is?” He took a step forward.

“Magic.” You answered breathlessly. “Time, space, the possibility of actions and consequences. What other possibilities those could have led to.”

“Time travel.” He answered, his eyes widen a fraction.

“Multiple timelines possibly coexisting within the same plane. I believe the Arcane is capable of that.”

He looked at you, his eyes shifting between yours and the books still resting on your hip.

“The Arcane is wild magic…not something science could master.”

“You’re right, but I believe science could help us understand magic.” You started talking with your hand. “I’m not thinking of bending the Arcane to science’s will. But I wish to find an understanding.”

The two of you stood there in silence. The noise of people speaking and walking around soothing your nerves. It had been your dream that had connected you with Jayce, the mutual understanding of what magic could do and the wonders it held.

“Those types of ideas could get you expelled from the Academy.” If he had spoken those words with a serious tone, it would have scared you. Instead, he still held curiosity in his eyes. “But what is science, if not risks?”

You let out a breath you did not know you were holding in. You frowned.

“Are you going to tell the Professor?” You watched him soften his eyes.

“I’m his assistant, not his whisperer.” He grinned and you could not help but let out a nervous laugh.

“I have to go…” You held his gaze. “It was nice to finally talk to you.”

“Likewise.” He smiled at you. You felt your cheeks suddenly heat up. “You have a great mind.”

“Thank you…” You were going to say his name when you realized you could not remember it. 

“Vik tor .” You felt a sudden touch in the back of your head. Your eyes narrowed for a second, you could’ve sworn you heard his voice change. “You can call me Viktor.”

“T-Thank you, Viktor.” You gave him your name, taking a step back as you slowly started retreating. “I will go now.”

You turned around and started heading to the hall. Your heart started beating fast once more. Perhaps, you were still having side effects. Or the Academy was making you begin to lose your mind.

Want to be tagged when a new chapter drops? Tag yourself!

[helaintoloki]

Hi! Id loved to request a viktor x fem!reader! Maybe where the reader has powers as well and joined the family just like lila, but she starting to madly crushing on viktor but is afraid/doesn't know how to confess? Or if he even likes her back. (I've been crushing on elliot for so long 🤧) thank you! hope this is okay.

a/n: this is my first time writing for viktor so please excuse any inaccuracies!

summary: despite thinking that your crush on Viktor is completely one-sided, you’re pleasantly proven wrong

Your chin rests in the palm of your hand as you lean against the counter of the bar and watch from across the room as Viktor serves drinks and chats with his regulars. You take the time to admire his hair and wonder if he styled it differently today, and when he turns after sensing your stare and flashes a brief smile in your direction you find you stomach doing summersaults in return.

“You know you can just talk to him right?” Your fellow bartender Anne jests with a playful nudge to your ribs.

“I know that!” You scoff indignantly, your face heating with embarrassment at being caught ogling your friend and boss. “I just don’t want to bother him while he’s working is all.”

“You? Bother Viktor? The guy who personally asked you to start this bar with him? The same Viktor you share a place with?” She clarifies with a raised brow and feigned shock. You roll your eyes in displeasure at her teasing, but this only encourages her to continue. “I don’t get why you can’t just make a move already.”

“Because it’s complicated, okay?” You huff out in annoyance while defensively crossing your arms. “I just don’t want to mess everything up.”

You felt your insecurities of talking to Viktor about your harbored feelings for him were valid. Despite originally being a Sparrow, the Umbrella Academy had welcomed you into their group with open arms when you’d joined Sloane in becoming part of their team. Though Sloane hadn’t made it out of the elevator after you’d been transported to a new timeline, you had, and you swore you wouldn’t waste the chance at a new life in exchange for the universe’s mercy.

With the only other remaining Sparrow immediately bailing on your group, Viktor extended his kindness to you and offered for you to come with him on his fresh start. You had clicked rather quickly after joining the Umbrellas, so it only felt natural to follow him. You worked to get an apartment together, helped him start up his bar, and now you two lived a peaceful life free of any powers or family drama. It was a nice routine to fall into; you just didn’t expect that you’d also fall for him in the process.

And now here you were, working another shift at the bar while pathetically pining over a man who probably didn’t return your feelings. You’d never dare voice your feelings in fear of ruining not only your friendship with him but also in fear of losing your new family as well. It was complicated, and so you were fine with swearing yourself to secrecy and hoping the feelings would dwindle with time.

“If you don’t take a chance now another girl is going to come along and do it herself,” Anne warns much to your dismay before excusing herself to wipe down the nearby tables. Sighing, you let your head lower and hit the counter of the bar in defeat as you mull over her words.

“Hey,” Viktor says, almost appearing out of nowhere and startling you out of your internal pity party. “Table three wants a round of whiskey.”

“Oh, right, of course,” you stammer out before quickly getting to work. It takes all of your willpower to still the shakiness of your hands as you set out six glasses and begin to pour out drinks. Viktor watches on silently with a careful smile, and you’re so focused on not messing up that you don’t notice the way he admires you work.

“Doing okay today?”

“Can’t complain,” you reply with a weak chuckle before sliding the tray of drinks over for him to take. However, instead of leaving Viktor remains planted in front of you, almost hesitating as if unsure of his next words.

“Hey, so I was supposed to close tonight but I got Bill to cover me. Did you want to grab some dinner tonight?”

“Don’t we always grab dinner?” You reply with a raised brow, unsure of why he seems so nervous.

“I guess we do,” he admits with a sheepish chuckle. “But what I mean is, would you want to grab dinner together? Like a date?”

“Oh… oh!” You exclaim in shocked realization. A part of you almost doesn’t believe this is happening right now, and you discreetly pinch yourself beneath the counter to ensure you’re not dreaming. You’re quick to respond with a delighted smile, nodding as you say, “I’d really like that.”

“Great,” Viktor says with a grin. “Then it’s a date.”

You watch him finally take the tray and head back to table three, your heart racing in your chest and your mind working overtime to replay the moment over and over again in your head. After almost a year of pining you’re finally going on a first date with the man of your dreams. Maybe you really were wrong about the possibility of Viktor liking you back.

You can’t wait to tell Anne.

[imminent-danger-came]

Sun Wukong Knew About MK the Whole Time: A Theory

I am currently hyped up on leftovers and iced coffee, so let's do this!

I've talked about this before, here and here, but I think it's finally time I wrote an official post. You can go and read those posts if you want to (I definitely hit the nail on the head with some of this stuff), but I will be compiling a lot of what I said on those posts here!

So. Let's get the Mr. Elephant out of the room first: The David Breen Tweets. (thread here).

I see this tweet mentioned a lot whenever I bring up SWK knowing about MK, and honestly, this is a far cry from the "it's been confirmed that SWK didn't know" definite answer everyone's been implying.

So let's break it down!

#1: "Monkey King ain't the father"/"Monkey King isn't his dad." Well of course! Being born from a stone means you don't have any parents. I see it like this: Wukong isn't MK's dad, but he's also not NOT MK's dad, it's a secret third thing (creator and creation). Or, perhaps Wukong didn't help create MK at all, but he at the very least was involved in the circumstances that lead to MK being created/being born from the stone. (Aka eldritch abomination MK theory. My Beloved. Okay sorry.)

#2: "Monkey King was ripping his way through memories looking for MK, but kept coming back to the stone. He doesn't know why." So, while Wukong was ripping through memories, he didn't know why the scroll kept spitting him out by the stone. This is not a confirmation that Wukong didn't know about MK and his origins. It also begs the question: how did Wukong know MK was in the scroll to begin with? There's also some speculation to be had about why Wukong was so desperate to find MK to begin with:

MK: "Monkey King did this?" Macaque: "It looks like he's been tearing his way through his past—trying to find his way to.." MK: "Me."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

What was he so afraid of MK finding? Or, what was he afraid the scroll would force MK to experience? I think these are questions worth asking.

#3: "Wukong's trying real hard to leave the 'not being open with MK' days behind after s3. Problem is he's got lifetimes of info to catch them up on." Well, this one is a DOOZIE. One: we already know MK doesn't know everything about Wukong and his choices because he doesn't know Wukong killed Macaque (thank you 4x11). Two: "trying real hard" and "successfully doing" are very different things. And three: YOU DON'T JUST DROP INFO LIKE "Hey, did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" ON TOP OF SOMEONE RANDOMLY. Especially not MK. You have to prepare them for it.

Wukong is trying to do better and be better for everyone around him, but that still takes work. That still isn't easy. He's still going to make mistakes, which means he's not going to always go about being open with MK in the best way.

Sun Wukong: “Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?”

(4x01 Familiar Tales)

-

This scene—to me—feels like Wukong is trying prepare MK for his eventual "Hey did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" conversation he wants (and needs) to have down the line. Yes, SWK is trying to be more open with MK, but he's also just not going to be given that chance before the truth comes out.

MK: "Yeah right, if Monkey King really was my dad don't you think he would have said something by now?" Mei: "Yeah...because he's normally SOOOOO forth coming with information." MK: "Well uh, whatever—when we find Monkey King's stone, then we'll just ask him!"

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

Notice how they never asked Monkey King that question? From a writing standpoint, why bring this up at all if it wasn't to imply that (even if Monkey King isn't MK's dad) he wasn't involved with MK's creation in some way?

ANYWAYS.

NOW THAT THE BREEN TWEET THAT HAS RUINED MY LIFE IS OUT OF THE WAY, let's get into the evidence given to us throughout the entirety of the show. Starting with this:

This isn't a scene that takes place during the "A Hero is Born" special, as I'm sure plenty of people have noticed before now. Of course, this could have just been Monkey King "scouting out a successor", but with everything we know now doesn't that...feel kinda weird?

We were told at the beginning of the show that Monkey King gave MK his powers, but now we know that's not true. MK has had his own powers this whole time—and that's something Wukong, at the very least, knew:

Sun Wukong: "Listen kid: You fought demons, and you didn't die, and you made it here! Not just anyone can lift my staff, but you did." (1x00 A Hero is Born)

-

MK: "This whole time, I thought my powers came from the staff! Sun Wukong: "The staff's just a big 'ol stick bud! It takes someone special to lift it." (3x03 Smartie Kid)

-

There's also 1x09 Macaque, which I have mentioned before:

Macaque: "Ohohoh no, can't you hold the magic staff anymore? Well, you know what that means—there really isn't anything special about you. You're just a kid with a heavy stick."

This scene is then followed by MK lifting the staff, which only happens because Wukong encourages him.

MK: "Ugh, I can't! I'm not strong enough." Sun Wukong: "Kid! We're definitely going to have words later, but it's time for the Hero Stuff!"

(1x09 Macaque)

-

Ultimately, Wukong knows MK can lift the staff again even after Macaque supposedly stole all of MK's powers. He knows MK can beat DBK (more on that later). He does something similar to all this in 3x14, being the one to let MK face the Lady Bone Demon, powered by the Samadhi fire, alone (even after Pigsy tries to stop MK):

Wukong want's to protect MK. That's why he went to face the Lady Bone Demon alone in the first place—but here, he let's MK stop the end of the world all by himself. Why would he let his beloved student face not only LBD, but a reality ending flame alone?

Because he knows how much power MK has. Because he knows MK is capable of doing it.

This all brings me to my main point: If before now we were supposed to believe that Monkey King gave MK his powers, and he so clearly didn't, how would Wukong not know he didn't give MK powers. And because he clearly knew he didn't give MK any powers, why would he not question where this kid's insane level of power came from? He had to have "chosen" MK to be his successor for a reason right?

ESPECIALLY because Wukong never planned on being a mentor in the first place:

Sun Wukong: "I know I can never make it up to you. Honestly, I- I never thought I'd live as long as I have let alone be someone's mentor—turns out I'm not very good at it. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry MK. For all of it."

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

This was also alluded to in 3x05 Amnesia Rules:

Pigsy: "Of COURSE you don't remember the kid—one day you are going to grow up to be a terrible mentor!" Sun Wukong: "Ha! Zhu Bajie, can you imagine me teaching someone? HA!"

-

So, Wukong clearly didn't ever want to become a mentor, and this directly contradicts what Wukong says to MK in "A Hero is Born":

Sun Wukong: "You're perfect!" MK: "Perfect for what?" Sun Wukong: "To be...my successor!"

Honestly, think about it: has Wukong ever once actually needed a successor? When given the opportunity, he goes off and tries to handle things on his own anyways (Leaving in s2, wanting to go and reforge the Samadhi Fire on his own, going to stop LBD alone). It's the classic "we're being told one thing and shown another" trick.

Sun Wukong: "No no no- in case you forgot I'M retired, you're the one supposed to be taking care of the bad guys." (1x01 Bad Weather)

Even in 2x01 he's lying:

Sun Wukong: "Aw, come on bud! I promised myself that when I found a successor I'd go see some friends, take a tour of my old stomping grounds, just cut loose you know?" (2x01 Sleep bug)

It's proven in the next episode, and by the fact that all of his friends are dead/gone, that literally nothing he said here is true.

And, it's also note worthy to point out, that by this point Wukong had already disappeared for hundreds of years. Why step in again at all? Why put the effort into getting a successor you definitely were never prepared to have?

MK: "*sigh* You think Monkey King ever felt like this? Maybe that's why he stayed up on this mountain, just having a good time with you guys. You know cause- cause he knew he'd be out of the way where he couldn't hurt anyone he cared about." Macaque: "Or, he was doing his usual Wukong thing and being a lazy peach eating idiot. Ignoring all the worlds problems.

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

So, I don't know about you, but I'm going to trust Macaque's insight on this. I'm not sure Wukong ever planned on coming back. Sealing DBK, he effectively cut off one of his last ties to the world (please go read wlw-wukong's thoughts, they are delightful), and he had already left the world alone for a long time. Why did he feel the need to train a successor now?

The simple answer is this: because he knew he needed to train MK and teach him to control his powers, and DBK's return was the perfect way to do it.

NOW. THE S4 MK VISIONS.

So, the visions MK see's all through out s4 (4x03, 4x04, 4x05, 4x06) are of Wukong ripping through the scroll and going to the stone—David Breen confirmed that himself in the above tweets.

Here's a list of what we see:

(4x03 The Great Tang Man)

-

(4x04 Pig Napped)

-

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

These are what I would say are the visions of Sun Wukong trying to find MK in the scroll. Yet, they are distinctly different from what Subodhi presses MK to remember ("Tell me of your childhood, your parents." "You do not remember?" "And what else?"):

(4x06 Show Me the Monster)

-

Look at that difference!

Every vision MK has includes the same scenes, except this one. That's why I think it's a memory; that and the way it's framed, with MK closing his eyes in focus. The other visions from 4x03, 4x04, and 4x05 all are unprompted, being forced upon MK. Why make this last "vision" so different from the others? Why show our mystery lady making the stone monkey? That would be because it's a memory—be it MK's, something from the scroll, or a mix of both.

There's also the matter of like, why Wukong going to the stone would trigger any sort of vision in MK to begin with. Overall, it just seems like there something more to those visions.

This would be how I imagine the general timeline playing out:

MK is created (through help of Sun Wukong), a beautiful baby boy pops out of the stone, and Sun Wukong "loses" that beautiful boy (if Wukong knew he was born to begin with) with MK finding his way to Pigsy's.

Then it's later Sun Wukong finds MK again, coming up with a plan to make MK his "successor" (still leaving MK with Pigsy, which I think was the right call lol). As Wukong says in 4x01, "You make ONE mistake, and no one ever let's you live it down! Looks like the ghosts of my past have finally caught up with me." That's what I think this parallel in particular is really trying to show off—in some way, MK is part of his past mistakes, just like Macaque is.

AND SO. I WILL CLOSE OFF THIS THEORY POST WITH EVERYTHING WE LEARNED IN THE SPECIAL.

Sun Wukong: "Heh, nothing gets under his skin more than a monkey. Leave Azure to MK and me."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Sun Wukong: "Kinda embarrassing for the Jade Emperor to have two little cheeky monkeys running circles around him the first day on the job." MK: "Well, one monkey and one unconfirmed, but *laughs* yeah! I'd be embarrassed for sure!"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Wukong sounds suspiciously confident that MK is a monkey.

Not even MK is sure what he is (which he's probably just in denial, but also "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is?" from 4x08 anyone?), but Sun Wukong is extremely certain about what MK is.

Sun Wukong: "We got this bud. Would have liked to give you some new training with your monkey form, but-" MK: "Oh yeah yeah yeah- uh um- about that— um. I- I was thinking, I've never really needed a scary new monkey form before, so, I just thought maybe I'd use it next time." Sun Wukong: "Next time? Kid, there might not be a next time! This is the time."

MK: "It's be fine! Mei and I have got this awesome new armor and everything! You know, when we look this good? Ain't nothing gonna beat us." Sun Wukong: "Kid. New armor isn't going to cut it! We have to hit Azure with everything we've got! You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!"

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

If the writers were trying to highlight the fact that Wukong didn't know, this scene would have gone very differently. Instead of "You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!" I think it would have been more along the lines of "I know this is new for all of us, but you've got to accept this part of your power!".

Even this exchange at the end of the special raises some alarm bells for me:

Pigsy: "Heh, don't bother. I've been telling him that for years but he LITERALLY never listens." Sun Wukong: "Yep! That's how we roll."

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

-

That's how "we" roll? As in him and MK, as two monkeys? Again, Wukong is surprisingly chill and okay with this new form for someone whose first interaction with it was supposedly this:

MK, writhing on the ground in pain, completely destroying the world around him, and unable to control his powers.

Sun Wukong: "Yeah! Go MK, go! Just try not to totally wreck up my stuff would ya-"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Overall, it gives me the impression that Wukong already knew what MK was before 4x07. This new form didn't scare him because he always knew that's what MK was. MK, to Wukong, is MK! And MK has always been a Monkey Demon. He has unshakeable faith in his protege, and even while MK is absolutely tearing up the world around flower fruit mountain he can't help but cheer for him.

After all, Wukong knows MK is the only one who could defeat Azure:

MK: "Ne Zha's right—while Azure has the Jade Emperor's power and the scroll, there's NO way we could beat him head on!" Sun Wukong: "I mean, some of us could beat him! *ahem* One of us, specifically-" MK: "Nope! None of us at all."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

"But Imp!" I hear you say, "Wukong was talking about himself here!". To which I would reply, that's not true! This scene is right after Wukong has already said he only almost beat the Jade Emperor:

Sun Wukong: "But don't worry—I almost beat the Jade Emperor single handed once! Between both of us, Azure doesn't stand a chance." (4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Between this and Wukong's pre-fight convo with MK ("We have to hit Azure with everything we've got!"), he's clearly banking on MK using the full extent of his powers to win this fight. Wukong isn't banking on his own—if he were, he would never have left MK to go and collect the scroll pieces during their fight with Azure.

Conclusion

Sun Wukong knew MK was a monkey the whole time, lol—and fate has plans for MK. Great plans, or foul? Time will tell.

And Wukong has done his best to ensure that those plans are great.

[0cta9on]

Cute/Jealousy thoughts on Hanni?

About you giving more attention to Minji, I can't help but think in a story stereotype 🤭, Imagine Hanni being jealous to Minji. How cute it would be in an AU world.😚

Have this baddie Hanni style

Hello mikeylo! As much as I love Minji, I'm a sucker for squishy cheeks and Hanni has her beat in that department :]

Edit: So I'm writing this edit after I finished writing the whole thing, idk if I actually wrote what you wanted :> Hopefully you'll find it entertaining at least :,]

You didn't plan for any of this, it just sort of happened.

The friendship you share with Minji and Hanni is something you cherish more than anything else in the world. Some people place value on material things or special locations; for you, it's the two knuckleheads you call your best friends.

One day, something just clicked. You started noticing small details that you didn't notice before. Suddenly, the Minji you knew your entire life looked different. The way the sunlight dances on her skin, the way her lips curl into the most precious smile, the way her eyes light up when she finds something interesting. Before you knew it, you found yourself being drawn to her in ways that exceed the boundaries of friendship.

You tried to suppress the feelings, afraid of what they could bring on the friendship you cared for so much, but alas, the heart wants what it wants, and one heartfelt confession later, you and Minji are now a couple.

Everything is going great - other than the fact that Hanni has no idea you two are dating. When the two of you first started going out, you decided that you wanted to start out small in case things didn't work out. But as the weeks went by and the both of you started falling deeper and deeper in love with you each other, the task of telling Hanni about your secret relationship became more and more daunting. Despite how happy the two of you are, it felt dirty in a way, keeping a secret from your best friend. You wanted to tell her sooner, but the opportunity just never came up. However, life finds a way, even when you least expect it.

It all came to a head one day when you were at Minji's apartment, making out on her couch. Most of your dates are restricted to each other's places due to the fear of being caught by Hanni, but it does come with the added benefit of not having to worry about the consequences of PDA. Your original plan of simply watching a movie together were immediately tossed out the window as Minji jumped into your arms, interlocking her soft lips with yours. You're not about to argue with her though; her plan seems much more fun.

Suffice to say, both of you are thoroughly distracted with each other's mouths. So distracted that neither of you hear the click of a spare key being inserted into Minji's door, nor do you hear the clopping of footsteps getting closer and closer.

"Hey Minj- OH MY GOD!" Hanni screams, dropping her bag of snacks onto the floor. Minji jumps off of your lap, her eyes wide in shock.

"H-Hanni! Uh, hey what are you, uh, doing here, I-I didn't know you were coming over," Minji stutters, nervously combing through her hair. All you can do is sit there like an idiot and look back and forth between your two frien- er, friend and girl friend.

"What ar- What? When? How? Why?," Hanni blabbers, looking between the two of you with a mixture of anger and disgust. "When were you two gonna tell me you were dating?!"

After exchanging nervous glances with Minji, the two of you silently agree that it's time for her to know the truth (Not like you were going to think up a plausible lie anyways after being caught in such a compromising position). You recount everything in detail - The day you started to feel things for Minji, when you asked her out, why you didn't immediately tell Hanni about your relationship. Hanni never spoke up during your explanation, her expression never changing from "shocked but also curious".

"So, yeah," you say, finishing up your explanation. "We didn't want to tell you in case things didn't go well between us, but then things did go well and we just... kinda forget to tell you. Sorry, Hanni.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too, Hanni," Minji adds, resting her head against your shoulder.

"First of all, ew, don't be doing that couple-y stuff in front of me." Minji quickly removes her head off of your shoulder, looking sheepish. "Second of all... Wow, you guys are really good liars. I never even noticed a thing."

"We didn't feel good lying to you," Minji notes. "We really did want to tell you sooner."

"So this whole time, you two have been hanging out without me!?" Hanni exclaims. "Every time both of you said you were too busy to hang out, you were actually just shoving your tongues down each other's throats!?" Minji cheeks burn bright pink, her gaze falling to the ground in shame and embarrassment.

"Not every time, just y'know... Most of the time," you shamefully admit. Hanni slaps your arm, causing Minji to jump to your defense. This only sours Hanni's mood even more.

"What the heck is wrong with you guys, I thought we were friends!" Hanni puffs up her cheeks in anger.

"We are friends! We didn't know things were gonna turn out like this either!" Minji sighs, sitting next to her. "We should've been honest with you from the beginning, but we didn't and ended up upsetting you. We're really, really, really sorry, Hanni."

The room fills with a pensive silence as Hanni stares at the ground in contemplation. You and Minji exchange worried glances, finding a semblance of solace in each other's eyes. Even though the dynamic of the group changed, you still love Hanni as a friend and hate the fact that you did something to hurt her. You'll do anything to gain her trust again.

"Do you guys really like each other?" Hanni asks.

"Absolutely" you answer almost immediately, smiling at Minji as she cutely hides her face in her hands. "I love her."

"Ew," Hanni mutters under her breath. "If you guys are going on a date or something, tell me beforehand so I can change my plans."

"Of course," Minji responds.

"And if we're all hanging out together, don't act all couple-y and stuff, I don't want to feel like a third wheel."

"Don't worry about it, PhamPham," you say, pinching her cheek. "Nothing is gonna change between us."

Hanni swats your hand away, but instead of being annoyed like you expected, she grins at you. It's a thing you've done to her ever since you were kids. Hanni always had chubby, squishable cheeks, even moreso when she was younger. She hates you when you do it, but you just can't help yourself - They're too cute not to pinch.

"Alright," Hanni says, her gaze shifting between you and Minji. "Do you guys want me to leave or...?"

"No, you should stay and hang out," Minji says, picking up the dropped bag of snacks on the floor. You nod in agreement, although you are a little bit disappointed you won't get to finish what you started with her earlier. Maybe later tonight, if you play your cards right.

Hanni agrees to stay under the pretext that you and Minji wouldn't be "all over each other" while she's there. Unfortunately, that means you have to stay on the opposite side of the couch while the two of them cuddle under a blanket. Oh well. They're your best friends. You're happy as long as they're happy.

______________________________________________________________

Hanni stares at the ceiling of her room, unable to sleep. The exhaustion of today's events should have knocked her out sooner, but the whirlwind of emotions won't let her catch any rest. With nothing else to do, she grabs her phone from the night stand, scrolling through group photos of her with her two best friends. What were once happy memories are now tainted with suppressed, unrequited feelings.

"I liked you first," she mutters to herself, cursed with the knowledge that no one else is listening. Those words become the catalyst that causes the first tear to drop. A light drizzle soon turns into a violent, emotional downpour. Guilt eats away at her brain while regret feasts on her heart.

If only she had been quicker. If only she had been braver. If only.

[sawpaingsheadband]

CD Drama Translation: Story 1

Setting: one of those VERY EXPENSIVE grilled meat restaurants, where they serve you meat to grill at the table. I am assuming it's set before the Kengan tournament starts, it doesn't seem like Cosmo and Seki know Ohma and Kazuo yet. Also, Cosmo here seems to be still not of legal age for alcohol, so still 19 years old.

Main characters: Yamashita Kazuo, Tokita Ohma

Secondary characters: Sekibayashi Jun and Imai Cosmo

Original video here, minutes 0:00 to 6:55

Translator's notes: the transcript had some things missing, so I had to keep my ears sharp for any piece of dialogue (I am considering actually writing the person who uploaded the original video, but I am kind of chickening out of this at the moment). Nevertheless I could understand pretty much everything, although I have had some troubles understanding what Yamashita Kazuo is saying when he shouts/panicks, but nothing I couldn't understand with a bit more listening. I apologize if there are inaccuracies, both Japanese and English are not my languages, but I have tried my very best.

Translation under cut!

Pleased to meet you, everyone.

My name is Yamashita Kazuo. Today I have treated Ohma-san, who has been helping me out, to a meal and for this I took him to a grilled meat resturant.

Kazuo: Ex-ex-expensive!!! What are these prices??? Is this a luxury restaurant*??? Dammit, I completely made a mistake in choosing this shop, how stupid of me, I went to the wrong restaurant!!!

Ohma: What's up, Yamashita Kazuo, you look gloomy.

K: Oh, oh, no problem at all! Ohma san, feel free to order your favourite things! (I can't say no to Ohma san now that we are here... Well, it's fine, it's a pity that I just received the winter bonus... Eh, it's fine, maybe, it's fine...)

O: Oh really? Then let's order quickly. For now, I'll have 10 servings each of the specials: short ribs, special quality roast, and special quality skirt steak.

K: *panicking/sarcastic* Let's steal a 300.000 Yen car and eat all of the meat then!*

O: Since I'll try and eat different kinds of meat, I will order the ones I like.

K: And you'll have 10 sdervings each...

O: why? Do you want me to make 20 servings of each?

K: Nonono, it's all good! (Ooohh, I wonder if I'll make it to summer...)

***.***

Cosmo: hey, have you heard, old man? THe guy next to us ordered 10 servings each of the short ribs, special quality roast, and special quality skirt steak! What a wonderful meal!

Seki: Ooh, he's quite the misunderstood* guy! He's suited to be a Pro Wrestler!

C: oh, old man, pro wrestling is all you think about! Anyway, let's order something else!

S: Alright! Then we'll order 10 servings of misuji and 15 servings of round tip*!

C: YEAH! It's becoming a feast!

S: you're young, so eat a lot*!

***.***

K: So that was it... We ordered a total of 30 servings. I felt like reaching the gates of Heaven.

O: It wasn't a lot... I really should have ordered 20 servings of each.

K: YOUUU!!! How much do you intend to eat?!

O: Alright, let's order some more, Yamashita Kazuo. What do you want?

K: uuuhhh... I'll take rice, kimchi, namul*...

O: What? Don't you want meat?

K: Ah... Well... I'm on a diet...

O: You should have a proper meal Yamashita Kazuo. Alright, I am encouraging you to have meat!

K: wait, WAIT! Ohma san, I am REALLY okay!

O: this Chateaubriand they have is nice... Are you eating Yamashita Kazuo?

K: Eh? Chateau- Chateau- Chateau- Chateaubriand??? Also, yellowtail is the rarest of fillet meats! I am not a master though! I'm just repeating what I read in a gourmet magazine.

O: for now shall we order 20 more servings?

K: really are you ordering 10 servings more...

O: well, I am tired of eating red meat. I will order 10 servings of rib eye.

K: Nevertheless... Why such big servings? Are you afraid of lo0sing meat?

O: Come on, Yamashita Kazuo, eat up!

K: oooohhh the bonus... My bonus... is gone...

***.***

C: hey old man! the man next to us is ordering meat by kilos!

S: Ahahahahahah isn't it glorious?! I want him as my student!

C: Ah, you only think of this! More importantly, we ate all the meat!

S: Hey Imai! Don't lose to the man next to us! I'm ordering 2 lots of tongue* for us!

C: 2 lots?! This is the first time I see someone order this much!

S: THere's already ribs on the plate! And also! Gimme the beer!

C: YAY! There is a lot of meat!

S: Keep eating, you'll become big! Ah, but no beer until you are of legal age!

C: Old man... You are so funny, but also very serious at times.

***.***

K: Uuuhhh... The mountain of meat has gone... I put on an aeon of kilos... How does this man's stomach do...

O: hey, have you heard, Yamashita Kazuo? The people next to us have ordered in BLOCKS.

K: I arrived at a yellow belt, yet Ohma san looks like a machine...

O: Alright, should I order more?

K: WAIT; Ohma san!!!

O: what's the matter, Yamashita Kazuo?

K: well, eating a lot is not good for your body, right? So shall we stop here?

O: oh, is itlike that? They say you should be full only at 80%.

K: I am saved... It was a close one... Somehow I made it...

O: So we can order desserts.

K: Eh?

O: so I will order 1 kilo of snowballs and 1 kilo of senmai

K: what, a kilo of snowballs and senmai as desserts?

O: Also, Japanese high-quality stone-grilled bibimbap, special cup, and top-quality wagyu beef nigiri.

K: ehhhh...

O: Ah, there it is, Yamashita Kazuo, ice cream too.

K: *heavy breathing*

O: feel free to take anything.

K: Farewell... Winter bonus... *wind noises*

____

*: the word is mise/ten, which means shop, but you would not define a restaurant like a shop, I think.

*: this one was a bit nebulous, I guessed it was like a way of saying that the whole thing was a robbery lol

*: the word is "gokai", which actually means "misunderstood". I guess Seki here is trying to compliment Ohma, so I don't think he's meaning it in a bad way.

*: misuji and shintama (round tip) are both cuts of beef.

*: the word is "dondon", which means "continuously"

*: I believe namul is a Korean dish, pls correct me if I am wrong.

*: another cut of meat, specificallyt the animal's tongue. I personally don't like it, but if you do it makes very good meals.

[t0ast-ghost]

Okay so I’m back on my bullshit (watching the original series for the first time) I’ll just start by giving a brief look at episode 4 and then a much longer look at episode 5.

Episode 4 (Where No Man Has Gone Before):

- where the fuck is Bones, I miss him :((

- please let Spock wear blue, cool colours suit him

- there’s a moment when Elizabeth is defending Gary and the whole room looks at her like “damn you got the whole room laughing”

- guys wait, just hit him with a rock, seriously

- “Nobody but us chickens doctor” - Kirk

- Scotty on da bridge

- there’s something about Star Trek and their psychiatrists always being women or being weaker, I wanna see a psychiatrist who is super buff and trained. Like you better process your feelings and seek help (I guess Ezri is more tough, but I still think her character is not well done)

- I bet those contacts hurt and were blinding. Like evil dead contacts were super thick and hurt and that was in the 80s, this is the 60s so those could not have been comfortable

- I like when things just appear/disappear in this show

- Kirk won’t hesitate to punch a bitch

- “I felt for him too” that’s such a big moment, Spock admitting that to Kirk

Episode 5 (The Naked Time):

My knowledge of this episode comes from the second episode of next generation so…

- damn those suits are orange

- “he was taking a shower fully clothed” mind your damn business

- OMG LEONARD MCCOY!

- “And as for my anatomy being different from yours, I am delighted.” DAMN GET HIM

- I think they may be flirting ur honour

- WHAT?!? Is that allowed??? I mean uhm…

- OMG ITS GEORGE TAKEI

- that blood is pink.. oops he’s dead now

- Bones sitting on tables/horizontal surfaces like this compilation

- uhm why’s he circle him like that tho

- “I want the impossible checked out too” WHAT, STOP BULLYING HIM!!!

- falling

- more falling

- YEAH KIRK YOUD BETTER BE SORRY DONT GET MAD AT YOUR CREW!!!

- oh wait is that nurse chapel?!? I haven’t seen strange new worlds (other than the lower decks episode) but I know chapel has a relationship with Spock

- I like how fucking emotional Spock actually is. Like I know he’s under the control of the virus in this episode but he shows so many emotions anyway. I love him.

- “I am in control of my emotions” sure bbygirl

- but in more seriousness this scene is amazing

- Sulu: let’s out the most pained terrifying scream

Bones: ._.

- “hey can I get a sip of that water” “it’s not water” “oh vodka I like your style” “it’s a complex chain of molecules that acts like alcohol when it enters the bloodstream” “what” “it’s sweat alcohol, pussy” (bones when explaining how the virus works)

- “Jim when I feel friendship for you, I’m ashamed” how do I- how am I- what do I do with that line

- James Kirk not afraid to slap a bitch

- SPOCK NOT AFRAID TO SLAP A BITCH BACK

- “SINNER REPENT” just write REDRUM stfu

- BONES Was it necessary to RIP HIS SHIRT???

- “are you alright James?” SIR CALM DOWN SPOCK CALM YOURSELF

- it is funny how immediately after both Spock and McCoy are right by Kirk’s side

- “time warp” ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW MENTIONED

- and they decided not to become time travellers

Okie dokie, if ya got this far, thanks! I’m enjoying watching through this and I like sharing it with all of you. Follow for more I guess?

the first episode thoughts

And all the other episodes thoughts

My Star Trek experience has been all over the place lol (next generation to lower decks to ds9 to aos and now arriving at tos (yeah I know it’s terrible I watched aos first but KARL URBAN))

[rockinlibrarian]

Post-Umbrella Academy S4 Reaction Part One: Reacting More to the Fandom than the Show (only vaguely spoilery)

I would like to state for the record that I enjoyed The Umbrella Academy Season Four. I had plenty of issues— things that weren’t to my taste, abandoned or neglected plot or character threads, plot contrivances and wasted opportunities— and I wasn’t satisfied with the ending AT ALL (it COULD have worked if done…completely differently?)—but I enjoyed myself, minus the downer at the very end (and I mean VERY end, I was hoping for more post-credit redemption than we got, and that could’ve fixed it for me). It’s like that post I reblogged this morning goes— there’s enjoyment, there’s in-universe sense, and there’s art-of-storytelling sense, and they can all stand separately.

I’d love to chew over the stupid bits and gush over the brilliant bits, but it’s kind of hard right now, because so much of the reactions online are not, well, objectively balanced discussions? People’s issues erased any of the enjoyment, and now the whole thing is trash and I think we all agree this never happened.

I’m not writing this post to call anyone out for that. All our reactions are valid. It just feels like the angry voices drown out the other voices, and it’s made me uncomfortable, and that is ALSO a valid reaction to have, so I just want to put my voice out there, too.

The weird thing about me and The Umbrella Academy is that this is the first fandom where I’ve ever been more invested in fanworks of it than in the original show (and in the comics, not at all. Though I still want to see Viktor and Diego start a punk band). So I think that’s why I’m not Ragey. I wouldn’t say I COMPLETELY didn’t care what happened in the show, but I know that there’s a thousand other AUs of it out there ALREADY. So I honestly went into it almost as if reading a fic of it. In fics there are inevitably interpretations I don’t agree with, ships I don’t care for, things I would have done differently, but the writer loves the same characters as me so let’s see where they go.

And then I leave a comment about all the positives. “Oh, I love what you’ve done with Viktor!” (I won’t MENTION that I think you should have let him get back into music and spend a LOT more time with Five, because it’s not my story, and hey, you have done some LOVELY, thoughtful things with one of the characters that is dearest to me so let me tell you that in this comment!) “I’m REALLY enjoying your Allison-and-Klaus partnership, we don’t see enough of that but it’s so obvious in retrospect that they should be friends. They probably bonded over fashion as children when Viktor was like ‘Sorry Allison you know I REALLY DO want to be friends with you but I JUST DON’T GET IT’.” (I am thinking about how you never really resolved the huge emotional thread between Allison and Viktor in your last chapter, but that’s not what we’re talking about here). “This is admittedly not my ship, but you’ve successfully captured my own beliefs about HOW this character would behave in this situation” (shouting out to @stephsageek for that one, who did it, and did it well, before canon even thought to attempt to. ;) ) I could write lots more in my theoretical Comment on “Season Four of the Umbrella Academy” on AO3, but I don’t want to be too spoilery in this post and I’m just being metaphorical.

Honestly, I’m more upset now after a day of discourse than I was about the ending, and I think it’s because I’m afraid of people rage-abandoning the fandom. Because Legion, the show that started me on Seriously Writing Fanfic, was a mess after season 1. I personally didn’t enjoy MOST of season 2, but I DID enjoy season 3 even though so much of it made no sense, and I can rant about it (Legion did a variation on the same terrible ending as TUA, actually! I have to say that the emotional beats were handled better, but the plot itself was way way stupider). But I didn’t start writing fic until after the dreaded (but not without redeeming qualities) season 2, when quite a lot of people had given up on the show. I’ve written fix-its, mostly ones that embellish on the canon of the later seasons, fixing it without actually throwing it away. I’ve been playing in the whole sandbox for six years now, and “Magic Man of Oz” uses like every grain of sand in it, and it’s my favorite fic I’ve ever written, and I am genuinely sad about all the people who rage-quit that show so will never read it. I am mostly sad that the person who got me on AO3 to begin with abandoned the Legion fandom the moment they finished their epic How Season Two Should Have Ended fic (or before— pretty sure the last few chapters were written with gritted teeth determination to just be Done with the whole thing) and so THEY never read “Magic Man of Oz.” And they were my biggest cheerleader when I started posting fanfic! Honestly, is this whole paragraph just me freaking out about TUA fandom just because not enough people read a fic of mine from a different fandom that was fairly cult to begin with? It might be. Sorry. I apparently have issues?

(That first sentence is really the thesis statement of this post now. The moment I wrote it, I reread it and said, "Oh. THAT'S what's happening with me, isn't it?" My 11th grade research writing teacher is yelling at me in my head to move the dang thesis statement to earlier in this essay, but too bad, this is Tumblr).

I can’t help comparing Legion and TUA, not least because the latter only got bumped up my watch list by someone describing it as “Legion-Lite”— and it really is, in so many ways! But they’re also my top two most-written-for fandoms, and I’ve been toying with a crossover or two— which I feel even more compelled to write now, because it’s post-canon for both shows (even though both shows claim there IS no post-canon— I have found the way!) And it honestly helped ME emotionally to accept the end of TUA when I could immediately say, “OH, well actually, that flows right INTO how I was already going to start working-title A Legion of Umbrellas!” I originally started this paragraph in parenthesis because it seemed like an aside, but it’s really not, because all I’m saying is fanfic flows eternal! and so forth.

So, hi, out there. Just letting out my feelings and hoping someone out there feels the same way (maybe not about Legion— I keep TRYING, but can’t find any takers), and I may still write a more detailed and spoilery reaction post to the show ITSELF, but I had to get this off my chest first.

[extravagantliar]

REPOST AND LIST 6 SONGS THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE:

do better - say anything

Your life is always the post of something else / Where's the present? The way that you present yourself / And it's disgusting how little that you try / The existential equivalent of pink eye / Drink alone and watch TV / You're expecting harmonies /To tap your tune with silver spoons / The anthem of impending doom / Guiding Satan's steady hand / Forcing Beatles to disband /It's eco-freaks and drama queens / The young at heart know what I mean

i'm not calling you a liar - florence & the machine

I'm not calling you a liar / Just don't lie to me / I'm not calling you a thief / Just don't steal from me / I'm not calling you a ghost / Just stop haunting me /And I love you so much / I'm gonna let you / Kill me

as it was - prep ( a harry styles cover )

Seems you cannot be replaced / And I'm the one who will stay / oh In this world, it's just us / You know it's not the same as it was / In this world, it's just us / You know it's not the same as it was / As it was / You know it's not the same

pale white horse - the oh hellos

It was a pale white horse / With a crooked smile / And I knew it was my time / It was the raging storm of a foreign war / And a face I'd seen before

what's the use? - mac miller

All the way in with no exit plan / Already left and the jet don't land / Yeah, the time is ticking / Come take a ride, get inside, this is highly different / I'm talking fly, got the pilot with me / Can I mind my business? / Why you trippin'? / Give you somethin' that your eyes can witness / Ooh, too close / I don't understand why you doing the most

non stop - hamilton original broadway cast

Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room? / Soon that attitude may be your doom / Why do you write like you're running out of time? / Write day and night like you're running out of time? /Everyday you fight, like you're running out of time / Keep on fighting in the meantime / Non-stop

honorable mentions ( some are scores ):

northwest passage - stan rogers hey look ma I made it - panic! at the disco can you hear the music? - ludwig göransson thumbnail - louie zong & brian david gilbert he sleeps - james newton howard and macro velocci I'm a wanted man - royal deluxe

& LIST 6 QUOTES THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE:

I am not a brave man. I believe I am starting to come to terms with that fact, but I am, in certain circumstances, a very stubborn one. - the magnus archives

People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us... It's people who claim that they're good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of. - gregory magurie - wicked

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. - nelson mandela

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past - f scott fitzgerald - the great gatsby

What is a champion? For me, I don't know when I was finally smart enough to understand this, but for me now, it's got less to do with gloves on your hand and how hard a punch you can take, than how great of endurance you have, both emotionally, psychologically, and physical endurance. - teddy atlas

I have read my books by many lights, hoarding their beauty, their wit or wisdom against the dark days when I would have no book, nor a place to read. I have known hunger of the belly kind many times over, but I have known a worse hunger: the need to know and to learn - louis l'amour

tagged by @hoboblaidd

tagging. everyone has done it so - @extravagantrook you're up.

[roseartsandfics]

Tifa (OG) -- Rose

I'm baaaaaaaaack!

Golly, I hadn't even displayed anything for awhile, now ^^;. I've been busy, yes. First time back to displaying after the hiatus! Here is another rose artwork featuring my favorite FF character Tifa Lockhart, in the original FFVII, of course ^^

So wondering why I am not active as much? I was doing another virtual career camp. And I've been dealing with mental health issues for a while. It lasted for days, and I am still trying to recover, but I hope this helps.

Some spoils as I am about to say, for those who hadn't played CC, so yeah, be aware of that lol

I beat Crisis Core Reunion last month just before starting FFVII OG. So I managed to get up to the Minerva optional boss, and holy crap I could not defeat her 0_0. I knew she was going to be hard to defeat 0_0. One of my biggest mistakes is not getting the Genji Shield (which is missable to me, and impossible because I only mastered one Octaslash, and I was not going to take FOREVER to master three more), and possibly not having enough materia to convert to SPs, which I was losing due to the SP materia things I used to prevent more damage. Hey, Ziedrich and SP Turbo or Mastered works! They say Costly Punch works, but it made it a lot worse for my SP and getting damage and die every time without getting a Phoenix Down on time (no offense). Aerial Drain and Jump are slower. Surprisingly (prepare for what it works on her), Darkness works on her. HP wa getting low, but I can be fast on healing, and so I beat her! I gave her multiple tries because I am afraid of how other battles in other FF will be, and I don't want to lose the chance on beating them (Jevil from Deltarune I gave up because he was impossible to defeat XP)

Anyways, so I finished Tifa today, and did I little experiment on coloring and made more designable rather than make my coloring more crappy lol. It's been awhile since drawing her in the OG, and I've been playing the OG for a bit, and so here she is! I started using the Crayola Colors of the World pencils to actually color something more divergent and shadowing her hair and skin. I did her eyes differently because I don't feel like drawing her eyes in my style the way I always draw eyes (I am bad at drawing eyes lol). I am actually really happy how this turned out to be ^^. I actually liked how this piece turned out! ❤️ I just love her, and her characteristics as well in the game (and film) <3. I am still writing my fanfic, just hadn't gotten around to it.

We are supposed to have a tropical storm, so I can get this displayed before potential power outage. There… probably isn't going to be much gaming, unless I can play my 3DS and switch handheld, or write (which I can write my fanfics are awhile if the interent isn't wonky, or so, idk), or read, or draw, or whatever the hell I'm doing. I might be on hiatus again after the storm due to potential outage, so this will be the post before the storm. At least we are prepared, tornadoes are the ones I am worried about, but I'm watching. Stay safe and have a good night!

For those who don't know, any rose portrait arts are inspired by a friend of mine on Deviantart (still)! Welp, good night, and sleep well!

Tifa Lockhart and Final Fantasy VII ©Tetsuya Nomura, Hironobu Sakaguchi, Yoshinori Kitase, Yusuke Naora and SQUARE ENIX

Artwork ©RosePrincessArts

No copyright infringement is intended

Used: Soho Studio pencils and colored pencils, Crayola regular and Colors of the World colored pencils, Cra-Z-Art colored pencils and blending stumps

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on you WIP(s)

Whoaaaa thank you for the tags @shrekgogurt, @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, @monbons, @drowninginships, and @blackberrysummerblog! I'm pretty sure that's everyone! I love being tagged in shit.

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s): So you just like... have names for them? Before you post them?

I will say that for once, a name did come to me, so one of them is tentatively titled Fettuccine and Foreplay, but I might change it because Foreplay is misleading. I'm sorry to say that it is not smutty, and the events are questionably even foreplay. But the alliteration. And Fettuccine and Flirting just doesn't have the same ring to it.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___” God, why am I so bad at this?

Nevermore Academy + Penny = offensive assumptions, defensive students, and a magical breakthrough waiting to happen

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it? uhhhhhh. I don't usually think about tags until I'm ready to post, so I am not prepared for this question... I can't really think of anything. Which makes me feel like my stories are hella boring.

Update after finishing and rediscovering an old wip: fluff! yay fluff.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)? Alternative titles??? So not only do you have titles, you also have extras laying about????

I guess I already talked about it in #1, but Fettuccine and Flirting. I do not like it.

5. ⚠️Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next? Probably the Fettuccine one. It's a one-shot and a good portion done (almost ready for a beta, I think?). I like to write the whole story before I start posting, so the Wednesday x CO crossover is going to take a goooooood while. Idk how many chapters it is yet, I just know it's more than 3.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as) I think my most interesting one is called Sundays With Gran. It's more of a drabble that I might work into a story at some point than it is an actual WIP though. But my actual WIPs have uninteresting names.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

It’s especially hard to believe in this reality when there’s a glow, a sparkle, a buzz around even the most mundane of sights when Simon is involved.

That's not even from a WIP I've already mentioned. I rediscovered this one while looking at document titles for this post!

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP. I have one fic, the one from #7, where I originally wanted musings from each of the main 4, which each describing what's happening through focusing on a different sense or set of senses. Like Simon would be taste or touch, Penny would be sound, Baz would be sight, and Shep would be touch or smell. But that felt too restrictive. Senses are still a big part of it, of course, and there may still be strong affinities for one sense over another for each character, but they'll experience with the most appropriate sense for the moment.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I really want to write more CO x Heartstopper (which we're calling Snowstopper because we're so clever) fics, but I'm making good progress on these other two and I'm afraid I'll lose the momentum if I start on the next Snowstopper idea. So I'll leave that for Kat to start in the meantime.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on? At the beginning of this post, 2. As of #7, 3!

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now? So many! I think I need to rewrite much of what started the Wednesday x CO fic. The entire first two chapters don't feel quite in character for Penny.

And then most of this rediscovered fic, for now called Tiny Dots. (Hey look! A title!) Like I said before, it's character musings, and I'm not sure how to string them together in a way that feels cohesive.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

I feel like I procrastinated on this procrastination game for so long that everyone else has already done it! I'm sorry if you've already been tagged 100 times, and especially if you've already done it and I missed it, buuuuut: @onepintobean @martsonmars @facewithoutheart umm... if you haven't been tagged, but want to be tagged, consider yourself tagged (or tell me and I'll update this post with your tag and no one has to know).

[danses-with-dogmeat]

wait omg can i request joshua for the praise thing?? it's so cute i think i'm gonna pass out /pos (gn!six please)

Joshua Graham Reacts to g/n! Six Giving him Praise

Ahh yes! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, that piece was just too darn sweet to write, honestly.

Sorry it took so long to come out, but here it is! I hope you like it! 😁

Also, here's the original ask as well:

"I just have to ask you for a few characters 👉👈 Porter Gage, Hancock, Raul, Charon and Gob ack don't call me out for my ghoul loving ass just getting showered in praise. I just feel the ghouls don't GET enough lovin', they are all wonderful, handsome and great men."

And here is the link to the full post!

I'm gonna add Joshua to the full post as well, btw :3

“Joshua?” Your voice carried smoothly over the sand, through the hot, dry air. But Joshua didn’t stir, he didn’t even seem to register his name. 

“You okay?” You pressed forward, craning your neck as you took a couple steps in his direction, trying to see what it was in the creek that had caught his attention so fully. 

“Did you… find something?” You bent down as you reached Joshua’s side, noting the way his unblinking eyes seemed glued to… nothing. Nothing, but his own reflection, staring back with the same intensity. 

The sand shifted beneath you as you settled by Joshua’s side. He noticed you, out of the corner of his eye, but remained silent. 

What could he say? 

How could he speak all that he was thinking, as he peered down at his scarred and bandaged face? Could he voice the way that he feels? So unworthy of your devotion to him, so confused as to why you stay by his side, so appreciative that you care for him the way you do, but so wholly afraid that if he speaks his fears, that they will come true. That, as soon as you come to your senses, as soon as the novelty of being with him fades, you will leave…

Who could love a face like mine? And more… Who could love the man that this face belongs to? A man who has done so much wrong, that his sins could only be absolved through the most violent forms of suffering? And even still… Am I truly free of them? 

He did not feel it. 

“I... am not worthy…” The missionary began quietly, and saw your head snap towards him as the words met your ears. “I am not worthy of even the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness you have shown me.”

“What?” You asked, your brows furrowing as you shifted your body to face him, rather than the stream of water below. 

“It’s a line from Genesis." He attempted to clarify, "Jacob is speaking to God, speaking to him of his own humility in response to the devotion that the Lord has shown him.”

Your brows didn’t unfurrow. 

“And that… That has to do with…?” 

“I’m not…” Joshua’s jaw clenched as his eyes finally left his own watery visage in favor of hiding behind his downed lids. 

“I’m not sure why I said it. The quote just… came over me.” He lied, knowing full-well that the words had everything to do with you. 

If I tell you that I feel unworthy of you, will that start something? Will that plant the idea in your mind that I don’t deserve you? Will you then act on that idea?

“Hey.” 

He felt your touch upon his shoulder as your voice met his ears, it was light, but unyielding as your fingers clenched at the bandages insistently. 

“You can talk to me.” You smiled as Joshua’s eyes opened and his gaze landed upon your face, and he wasn’t immune to it. Nor your words, and all that they promised. 

Love rejoices with the truth.

“I’m humbled by you, Six. Humbled by the love you show me every day, and I feel… As Jacob did with the love of God. I feel unworthy of you.”

He felt your grip tighten upon his shoulder as sadness flooded your expression. It pained him to know he was the source of the strife he saw in your eyes.

“Sometimes it’s easy to forget who I am, what I’ve done… What I look like, when I’m beside you, but then, my reflection finds me. Then as I look upon your face, as I remember your deeds and your devotion to me, your kindness to others... I cannot help but feel confused.”

“Joshua, I–” 

He continued insistently, his scarred brow hardening over the intense blue of his eyes as you saw them spark with fire from within.

“I have erred more times than I could possibly count, and yet, each is written upon me, like a shouted word, etched into my very skin for all the world to see. For all who gaze upon me to pity me and my failures, to hate my deeds and to agree that I am unworthy of compassion and repentance. That I am unworthy of happiness, and certainly, of love. They see you beside me, and they know, simply by seeing me, that I am unworthy of you.” 

Joshua’s hand traveled slowly up to grasp at yours. Your eyes were wide and glistening as he gently took hold of you, and removed your touch from him. 

The air was utterly caught in your throat as your partner released your hand from his grip and stood beside you, his gaze resting back on the reflection in the running water that marred his covered features even further with each ripple over the small, jagged river stones that weren’t yet smoothed over by the current. 

“But it seems that you’ve failed to note this. Whether by choice, or simply because you are too righteous to see such things, you’ve still stood by me, even despite all that I’ve done, and that I am... I had to be sure you know the truth, Six. So that you can make your own decision about me, about our relationship… And you can find the words and inspiration you need to leave me behind, and to move on to better things. To be with someone who deserves you.” 

And truth will set you free.

The thought sprung unbidden into Joshua's mind.

I don't feel free.

But perhaps... Perhaps, now, Six can.

Still, you sat in the sand, in shock at everything that had just left your partner, the man you love, and have loved happily for the months you’ve been together.

Where had it all come from?

One moment you’re making camp, waiting for Joshua to collect water, dusting off the fabric of your tent, laying out the bedrolls close enough to later rest in his embrace all through the night, and now he… what? Wants you to leave him?

What changed?

Joshua made a move to step away from you, to leave you kneeling there, alone, beside the river that had apparently inspired these harsh words that encouraged even harsher actions, but you would not stand for it.

You could not. 

“I won’t leave you, Joshua.” You got to your feet as he paused his steps, and he tilted his head towards you, to better hear your words. To hear the justification that he was sure would be well-meant, but ultimately, unfounded. 

“Why?” He whispered, and you got the sense that he was going to speak more, that he would continue monologuing until he convinced himself further that you do not belong with him, even when you know that, beyond all reason, you do.

“Because Joshua, because..." You took a breath as righteous words filled your mind, "'You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and… I love you.' That quote comes from the book of Isaiah. And it’s God speaking to Jacob, telling him that this is why men are worthy of him, and why, even if they’re not, they’re still deserving of unconditional love, even by one as divine and perfect as God.” 

Joshua’s eyes were the ones widening now, and his body turned so that he could face you fully once again. 

“Now, I’m not saying that I’m perfect, but… If God can stand to love you, if he can keep you here, after all you’ve been through, if he can promise you life, even after going through what should’ve meant your death tenfold, then can’t I do the same? Can’t I promise you a life with me, can’t I love and accept you for who you are, no matter what anyone else thinks?” 

Joshua’s light eyes were glistening as they fixed on the sand below him, and you couldn’t help but step forward to try and draw his attention back to you. 

I had to sit through your monologue of self-hatred. Now it’s your turn to listen to all the reasons your words were wrong.

I won’t have you tuning me out.

“After living a life so devoid of it, there’s no one I can think of who’s more worthy of love and compassion than you.” 

You placed both hands on either side of his face, gently urging his eyes to meet yours. 

“Everything you’ve done, Joshua… You’ve been made to pay for. Just as you said, it’s all written upon your body, but it’s here too.” You dragged one palm down to rest over his chest. It was warm to the touch, even through the layers of his bandages and clothes. 

“And here.” The fingers of your other hand brushed over his temple, then his forehead. 

“You’ve paid for it enough. With these horrible thoughts, these feelings of unworthiness plaguing you, every mark upon your skin, all the pain you feel every day. Trust me, my love, you've paid for it. Now… I think God and I both just want you to know peace.” 

Joshua’s hands rose to delicately collect yours, to pull them down in between your bodies. But he didn’t release them from his grasp this time, only held them there, embracing you as much as he could allow himself as his mind still swirled with turmoil. 

“But why?" He asked, "You don’t have to be with me. No one is requiring it of you; and with another, everything would be so much easier. You could be happy… Happier than I can make you.”

“Why you?” You almost laughed at him, it seemed so obvious within the confines of your own mind, the mind that was almost always occupied with thoughts of him only. “I love you, Joshua. I love how you speak to me, how you respect me and want me in your life. I love that I’m able to help you, but you… You’ve helped me more than I think you know.” 

“How?” His voice was so desperate for an answer, it was almost demanding.

“Ever since I woke up from that grave… I didn’t really have a purpose. I didn’t know who I was, didn’t have anyone in my life to turn to, I didn’t have a path... but you gave me one. With you, I could help people in ways I never imagined. You were always so sure of your own path, that it inspired me to be sure of it too. To become a part of your path.”

You could feel your hands shaking where he held them between you. Your whole body was trembling with insistence, begging him to take your words to heart.

Everything about this night that the two of you were sharing once pointed to normalcy. Making camp, divvying out duties, feeling the warmth of the fire against the cool desert air, hearing the wind sweep over the dunes of sand; it was like so many other nights spent with one another. You hadn’t expected to have this conversation, hadn’t thought you’d be fighting tooth and nail to get your partner to understand how deeply you cared for him, how much you couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him, let alone ever consider it without his knowledge. But it was happening, and now this night was so much more important than all those others, because if you fail… It could be the end of all of this. This bliss that you’ve taken for granted. 

You’d survived without him for months before you ever met him, you could find happiness without Joshua, you knew that, but… With him, you didn’t have to look for happiness. With him, it surrounded you. 

“You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,” You said quietly, and even with the linen wraps covering Joshua's visage, you could see the way he softened at your words. “You made me love you more with every word you spoke. I can’t imagine who I’d be now without you, and I don’t want to.” 

Your hands tightened within his grasp, and you pulled his body closer to yours as your eyes stayed locked to his mesmerizing gaze.

 “Darling… in all my life, I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. Believe me.” 

You insisted, and then you leaned forward even further, and kissed him. 

The thin linen obstructed you a bit, but it didn’t matter. You could feel the heat of him through it, sense the shape of his lips as they moved against yours, as they relented to your touch, and to your words. As he let you love him. 

Joshua’s hands released yours, allowing you to press yourself closer to him as you felt his touch upon your hip, and around the nape of your neck. In the same movement, your arms smoothed over his chest to grasp at his shoulders. He took a deep breath in through his nose, as though he’d been devoid of oxygen until you pressed yourself to him, and you felt the warm puff of air pass through his bandages and caress your face as he exhaled. Subtly, you could taste him through the barrier, the sweetness of cactus fruit, and the tartness of the healing powder he mixed into the water he drank. You sighed into him at the familiarity of it all. His touch, his taste, his burning warmth that sometimes felt unnaturally hot. Enough so, even, that it could scar you in return. 

And though it never had, Joshua hadn’t ever left any physical blemishes upon your skin from his touch, from his love of you, you were certain that you hadn’t gone completely unmarked by him. Like the words he spoke, like the thoughts and actions he inspired, like the emotions that surrounded him in your mind, his mark was within you. And all of that, all of his influence, his own love for you in return, that you felt was as permanent as any scar left upon his own skin. 

“Thank you,” You felt Joshua whisper against you as you parted, but remained pressed to one another. “Thank you, Six, for all that you have given me. I… I still do not feel worthy of it, but, I will do what I can to change that. No matter how long it takes.” 

“Mm.” You hummed, a grin touching your lips as you pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes, soaking in the simple feel of him. “And I’ll be right here. Right beside you, all the way.” 

You felt the outline of his own smile as Joshua leaned forward, and captured your lips with his once again.

[lilyunad]

So after seeing this post, I want to talk about why I don't consider myself as a gt artist nor to be in the gt community. I used to breathe, think and dream giant/tiny, to the point I'm stuck with my characters being giant or tiny still. And it's ok. I like seeking wholesome gt when i feel like it or writing it.

Don't read if you're not an adult.

Someone ruined gt for me. Stole my characters, my stories. They're off the internet now and I honestly hope they got a better life now, I know things weren't easy for them. It still was hard for me to recover, it took years for me to be an artist again. I'm autistic, art is my life juice, it's sacred, and they ruined everything sacred for me. It's something I'd constantly talk about to an annoying point on my original tumblr account, I'd insist I'm not a gt artist.

So I think I made my own niche instead. What I do still falls under the gt definition and I have a lot less issue with tagging my stuff as being gt since it does have that.

But I still have trouble drawing. Before, I used to make 10 doodles a day, to rp a lot. Nowadays, it can be 1 drawing every 2 weeks... I recovered from my trauma, but I went from 3k followers to starting over completely recently because of kinks forced into me by anyone who felt like it (the worse I got was that "I shouldn't draw giant lily because i should know that someone will try to to get in that area"), things like that.

Hey let's switch to kink talk. Actually the gt community is treated bad... No matter the kind they're into. Wholesome gt, fearplay gt, more sexual gt, then macro/micro, the confirmed (mostly but not always) sexual side. The wholesome side would demonize the macro/micro side, and the other way around because someone would do something the other didn't like.

But let me show you that :

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/fetish

If you think and breathe gt, you have a gt fetish.

If you like gt sexually and have a fixation on it you have a gt fetish. (also called a kink, it's stronger)

There's a lot of ignorance regarding the definition of a fetish. One of them is having a hyper interest on something, as innocent and wholesome as it is, the other is that hyper interest being sexual, so it's hypocrite to call out people over having a fetish when it's just NORMAL.

Last thing is that gt doesn't need to be erotic for someone to be turned on by it. Someone can have a sexual fetish on the most wholesome stuff, and someone asexual can draw erotica or porn while still being ace, it's important to know and accept. Be respectful of anyone's interest, there's a whole spectrum for that, and don't force your own into others.

A fixation is a fetish, whether it's sexual or non-sexual. So just let people like what they like. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone... And least YOU don't hurt anyone.

Also up to you whether you want to call your fixation on whatever a fetish or not. My goal is just for you to know the definition of a fetish.

But back to me, I still have trouble drawing things that falls under the gt category sometimes, thinking of people who ruined it for me.

Heck not even that but sometimes I'd get called zoophilic because I like drawing creatures??? Or I got death threats because this naga is rainbow???? I got a lot of bullshit when I was more known. One part of me is really afraid it'd happen again.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hello!

I know you’re not on tumblr tonight i just wanted to write incase i forgot.

So i’m part of the trans community, and before i had any knowledge of what that meant or who to tell, i wanted to tell absolutely everyone. Because i was exited yk?

So i told my friends and i told my friends to tell other people and i told other people.

unfortunately, i live in a southern US state.

There we’re rumors for start. “I heard she got bottom surgery” or some people just fucking walked up to me and asked “do you have a dick now?”

Then there was bullying. “Hey my dog’s name is *my name*! does that mean you’re a dog?” or the occasional slur was thrown around. I was called “Him” (as a name, not a pronoun)

Another problem is when you come out to your school, you can’t exactly tell them you’re something different than what you came out as originally, so everyone at my school either thinks i’m a girl pretending to be a boy, or they just ignore it all together.

As you can see, my school experiences have not been great.

I really want to move schools. Like desperately.

It would be easier to enroll as my preferred gender and I’d be out of that hellhole and learn who i should and shouldn’t tell

But I’m afraid to ask my mom.

She doesn’t really know about anything I do at school. And if i tell her i want to she’ll ask why, and i am scared to tell her about the bullying because she might just talk to my school and make them talk to all the kid’s about kindness.

I don’t want to be the kid who had to hide behind their mother

"unfortunately, i live in a southern US state."

The gasp I gusped. I used to live in South Carolina. Ugh.

I'm curious. Does your mom know? how has she handled you being trans? I feel like that would greatly impact the advice I give, so I'm curious. I know you said she doesn't know what goes on at school, but does she know about your identity?

But either way.

You would not be hiding behind your mother. This is harassment and could be considered a hate crime. Depending on the state, the laws are iffy, but please realize, you are not tattling to your mother because some kid tripped you on the playground. This is serious, and you have a right to say something.

I'm naming you southern anon. Write back!

[candywraptor]

hey, why did you delete the radiodust fic from Alastor's POV? the companion to Ruin

Hello.

Well. It isn't deleted, it's just orphaned. If you didn't have it bookmarked, you can still find it linked through Ruin (last chapter, all the way at the bottom).

I did it that way so that it could still be found and so that people who enjoyed it could still have it but I hated seeing it in my list of works, honestly.

(for those who may be reading this and don't know - Lesser Things was originally posted without the "bad ending" or "sad ending" tags that it currently has now)

After it ended, I couldn't really write anymore. I went from writing for hours and hours, nonstop, everyday - to nothing. I could start but then it would feel like pulling teeth trying to get words on the page. Very, very luckily for me I was impatient and blondes was started before Lesser Things ended. If not for that, I think I possibly would have stopped altogether. But the chapters I put out for blondes did not come easy and I wasn't happy with them - my voice wasn't there. At least not to me.

This went on for several months.

Many people checked in on me during this time and I am very, extremely grateful to them. And I'm pretty sure I said some degree of "at least I can still write!" to all of them but I believe I was, uh - coping? I guess? Because I couldn't - not like I used to and not with any real pleasure. I was so afraid to make a mistake that I wouldn't try at all. Or I would start writing and get flooded with thoughts of whether or not what I was writing was "right". Anything I could manage to force out was so wooden and lifeless to me. I had come to know what it felt like when my brain was moving at the right flow and it was like someone had completely dammed up the current. It was just empty.

And I dreaded seeing Lesser Things in my works. It was a constant reminder of a very big mistake*. Every time I got a notification about it, my anxiety did somersaults. What really kicked it over was that I began feeling distressed when someone would read or comment on Ruin. I wanted to tell them not to - because inevitably it would lead them to Lesser Things and I didn't want someone else to be disappointed with me or have Ruin damaged for them. It was tagged correctly by then, yes, but I still felt a very strong, irrational fear over it.

So, in an effort to get away from all of that and try to start over, I orphaned it. I wanted to delete it, I'll be honest, but I hate the idea of removing something someone might love from existence and my friends agreed that orphaning it was kinder. So I made sure it was linked and tagged and set it free.

It did not help for a long while.

But then I talked with this person in the comments of Ruin - I am still not quite sure who they were - and for once I told them that I was angry for what I had lost and upset that the hobby that brought me new life was seemingly gone from me. I deserved to be corrected for the tagging - I needed to know that fanfiction does not work the same way as a novel or TV show and that what I saw as a spoiler was incredibly important for many readers - but the rest. . .I didn't deserve that. I simply didn't.

And it felt good to not try to be diplomatic and to be upset and honest about my feelings. After that, a friend reached out and we spent some time discussing it, also. Talking about how I really felt, allowing myself to believe that I didn't deserve the hate - something in my head just let go.

Now I can write again - to my own personal standards. I can do it for hours and, even better, I enjoy it. I have so many ideas now - I've gone from nothing to too much! I am still not as prolific as I once was but I am writing and having fun and that matters more than anything else.

I jumped ship, too. I think most people know that. My feelings on RadioDust are complex and I am still not exactly sure how I feel even now. I don't like looking at it but I don't hate it. Maybe ask me in a week and I do. Maybe ask me in another week and I feel nothing at all. Maybe many weeks or months or years from now you can ask that question and I'll say that I love it again. Who knows.

Anyway. . .

I'm sure you weren't looking for a novella but, hey, it was a complicated question.

In short - it isn't deleted. If you want it, you can find it. And as for why - because it was fucking with my head and I needed my head unfucked. That's the simplified version.

(*the mistake in question is not the content of the ending. Lesser Things ended how it was intended to end and it will always be that way. Period.)

[inevitablysomber-dark]

I end up on your profile i dont even how, but im so delighted i did 🥹 spent my time today reading all your work and alls are amazing! And then i saw asks and its really amazing that you have basically study of all characters, shows how much thoughts you put into story 💖

I have a questions about Kiwi story.

Why Steve never approach her during their time at uni? I know he mentioned that she wasnt ready but still he could have form friendship with her first which would be better ground for relationship? Would be easier to convince her to go on trip too.

Also, after firing her - he blocked her everywhere, but did he watch her every move? He didn’t have guarantee that she will be back to beg him. Considering that her whole life fell apart once again, she was blacklisted, running out of money, and disappointing her parents she could have for example hurt herself- what would he do then? Will you show us glimpse of their life together after everything?

Also Honey storysgreat! I love how she was not afraid to speak her mind and how she helped Cyan! But queen freya pissed me off, was she jealous or what 🥴

Hey! Thank you so much. I truly appreciate that you enjoy my works and took the time to send me this ask!

To answer your questions:

Steve not approaching Kiwi during their time in university is more of a logistical choice on my part as the author rather than a crucial storyline factor. Originally, Under the Radar was supposed to start during their university years, but I was also outlining another series for Affectionate Obsession, and the two stories started feeling way too similar. It got to the point where it felt like I was copying and pasting ideas.

Looking back, maybe readers wouldn’t have noticed (or maybe they would!), but I didn’t want to risk having two stories with nearly identical setups. So, I kept the university storyline for the other series and chose a different approach for Under the Radar. Steve’s interest in Kiwi during university became more of a lingering schoolboy crush he couldn’t shake.

The trip to the Maldives was supposed to be Steve’s opening to a "friends-to-lovers" dynamic with Kiwi, but she kept pushing back. Something he hadn’t anticipated. He assumed she’d jump at the chance to bask in the attention of a wealthy, soon-to-be heir like him. But Kiwi is lowkey paranoid and keeps questioning everything. Worse (for him), she didn’t reciprocate his feelings the way he wanted. So, he had to regroup, and each time, there was another fumble somewhere along the way.

After he fired her, Steve blocked her because he wanted her to get desperate enough to seek him out. He didn’t want to leave her with any escape route. Yes, he was watching her every move, but he knew there was no guarantee she’d react the way he expected. If she didn’t, he was ready to go after her. And if she hurt herself? He would just take a page out of Peter's book. (a little foreshadowing for Peter’s story—🤐).

There’s still one last chapter left, and I hope it quenches your thirst for what happens after Steve finally gets Kiwi where he wants her. 😊

As for Loki’s Sweet Treat:

Queen Freya isn’t jealous, but she comes from “good breeding” and has high expectations for her children to marry within their class. She herself faced similar pressures before marrying Odin. So, when Thor chooses a sex worker over the system of carefully bred women "worthy" of being by his side, it frazzles her. It’s not jealousy, it’s pure, salty disapproval.

I’ve considered writing more for that series, but I’m still figuring out how I’d break it up. I’ll keep you posted if I decide to continue it!

Thank you again for sending this ask—you really had me working on this one! I hope you continue to enjoy my stories, and as always, don’t hesitate to drop more comments, questions, or thoughts. 😉👍🏾