helaintoloki

[helaintoloki]

at the gym and they’re playing catws on the tv i love it here

[helaintoloki]

working on a Winter Flower continuation piece hehehe

[helaintoloki]

hello lovelies. it has been brought to my attention that the most recent request i responded to was actually a copied request sent to multiple authors. i find that really disheartening and demeaning as a fic writer because i do this for fun and for free to share my ideas with people who love the same characters that i do, so it feels a bit hurtful to only be seen as a person’s means to get out their ideas instead of them coming to me because they like my specific writing style or characterization or just me as a person. i love answering requests and putting your ideas into writing, but i dont want to answer requests that have already been sent out to other writers because that defeats the purpose of why i take them in the first place. the damage is done since i already uploaded the piece, and i apologize if it is at all similar to anyone else’s work. i just wanted to share my thoughts on the matter and acknowledge the issue. thank you for all of the support you guys give my writing <3

[helaintoloki]

Can you write a Bucky x reader fic where Reader doesn’t know she’s pregnant but Bucky and Steve hear a second heart beat before going on a mission? You could also have it that maybe Steve notices first and congratulates Bucky by pulling him aside and Bucky is slightly confused because he didn’t hear it right away since he’s always with reader. Thank you

a/n: hi lovely! ty for sending this in and for your patience. this was a fun prompt and i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, nausea, fertility issues, fluff

summary: after being out sick for a week, Steve feels he has no choice but to bench you from the team’s next mission. However, a moment alone with you allows the Captain to discover it isn’t a stomach virus that’s responsible for your illness

Your stomach is churning with what you believe to be nerves as you fumble to secure your weapons belt around your waist. You’re struggling more than usual to make it fit, but you chalk the difficulty up to your lack of training sessions this past week due to a random bout of illness. Sudden waves of nausea had plagued your daily life, but Bruce had assured you it was most likely some type of stomach virus considering Tony had suffered a similar fate right before you started showing symptoms.

Though your health wasn’t exactly at a hundred percent just yet, you were adamant about being well enough to join the team’s next mission. You would swallow down whatever antacids you needed to in order to ensure you weren’t barred from going out into the field, and you would let no one catch on to the fact that your nausea had yet to ease up on you.

You finally get your belt on just as your bedroom door opens, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Your suit feels tighter than normal around your torso and puts your figure on display in a way that’s never happened to you before, but you’re just grateful for the fact that it doesn’t seem to restrict your movements too much.

“This view never gets old,” Bucky compliments with a flirtatious grin as he leans against your doorframe and takes in the sight of you.

“You don’t think I look… different?” You prompt him with uncertainty, shifting around in front of the mirror to get a glimpse of yourself at all angles. “It feels off.”

“You look just as good in that suit as you always do,” he reassures you, softly shutting the door behind him as he makes his way towards you and moves to take your hands in his own. “But if you feel off, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to sit this one out.”

“Are you kidding? No,” you scoff indignantly, almost offended by his well meaning suggestion. “Absolutely not. I’m going.”

“Y/n,” Bucky sighs gently only for you to firmly shake your head in defiance.

“I’m just in my own head, I’ll get over it,” you assure him as convincingly as you can. “Everyone gets nervous before a mission sometimes.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He presses you with a raised brow and firm squeeze of your hands.

“I’m sure,” you avow sincerely. A beat passes before Bucky finally accepts your words as the truth and gives you a faint smile in return for your effort.

“Alright, but the minute you start to feel off in the field you tell me. I can’t have you getting hurt because you tried to push yourself too hard too soon. Understood?”

“You got it, Sarge,” you reply with a playful salute that has Bucky rolling his eyes in response, a quiet chuckle tumbling past his lips as he pulls you in by the waist and leans down to steal a kiss from his favorite girl.

“That’s what I like to hear,” he quips with a cheeky grin before finally releasing his hold on you. “Steve wants us on the Quinjet in ten. I’ll see you there.”

You watch your partner shut the door behind him as he makes his departure before you finish arranging the rest of your ensemble. You take the extra precaution of hiding some ginger chews and antacids in the smaller pockets of your uniform to help you keep your nausea at bay during the mission, and after taking a final look at yourself in the mirror you determine you’re ready to go.

You manage to make it onto the Quinjet with a minute to spare, able to evade another lecture from Steve about your usual tardiness as you seat yourself next to Natasha and secure your restraints. You try to discreetly toss back a ginger chew to prepare for the long flight, but you’re unable to get anything past the former assassin.

“You sure you’re up for this?” She asks with a quirked brow, watching you chug down a water bottle to rid your mouth of the strong medicinal taste.

“Why is everyone doubting my capabilities today?” You protest indignantly with a huff, prompting her to raise her hands in surrender.

“I’m not doubting you, I’m just being a concerned friend,” she assuages you amiably. “Barnes isn’t the only one allowed to worry about you.”

Her comment prompts a small laugh to leave you as you partially ease up from your tension. “I know, I know, I just- I’m just feeling a little on edge today, but it’s probably because I’ve been out of commission for a week. I just need to get my head in the game is all. I’ll be fine.”

You’re not fine.

Despite the handful of stomach settle drops you take, the flight to the designated coordinates is excruciatingly nauseating. Your face is drained of color, droplets of sweat beading down your forehead as Bucky kneels before you and coaxes you to drink another bottle of water. It’s clear to everyone that you’re nowhere near ready to be out on the field, but you’re too stubborn to accept your fate.

“Y/n,” Bucky murmurs softly once you hand him back the empty bottle, “I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out there in the state you’re in.”

“I’m fine,” you insist through gritted teeth as another wave of nausea overcomes you. “It’ll go away once we land. I swear-“

“Y/l/n,” Steve’s voice calls from the cockpit, interrupting your sentence and immediately filling your stomach with dread. “Can I have a word?”

You feel like a scolded child being called to the principal’s office as you quietly rise from your seat and make your way over to the Captain. All eyes seem to be on your stiff figure as nervously avoid their gazes in shame and do your best to put on a confidant front for the man in order to avoid being benched from the team.

You hesitantly seat yourself beside him and clear your throat of your nerves before innocently speaking. “What’s going on, Cap?”

“I know how much you want to be on this mission today, but I can’t let you fight in good conscious when you’re clearly still not at your best,” Steve says regretfully, voice firm yet remorseful at depriving you of a chance to join the action. Your throat feels tight as you swallow down your disappointment and attempt to put on a brave face in response to his confession.

“Look, I know I’m not a hundred percent,” you begin to argue, noticing the way in which Steve’s brows seem to furrow immediately as you speak. His eyes seemed honed in on your figure as you try to argue your way back into the mission, and you absently wonder if he too has taken notice of the way your suit seems to cling to you in a way it never had before. You shift awkwardly, almost losing your train of thought as you continue, “But I can do this, Steve. You know I can.”

A heavy pause fills the air as you sit waiting with bated breath for some type of response from your Captain. He seems taken aback and uncertain, and you’re not sure what has caused the sudden change in demeanor. You don’t think you’ve said anything to offend the man or disrespect his authority as the team’s leader, but it’s almost as if he seems unsure how to proceed in your conversation.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs absently after finally regaining his composure, faintly shaking his head before meeting your gaze. “I know you can, but I think it would be best if you stayed on the Quinjet and did surveillance for today’s assignment. You won’t be in the action, but you’ll still be able to help the team by keeping an eye out for any incoming threats and having the jet ready for a quick exit. Understood?”

Despite your clear discouragement, you manage a meager nod in response. Steve simply offers you a faint smile and comforting squeeze to your bicep before rising out of his seat and allowing you to take over as pilot. You’re not exactly thrilled by the change in plans, but you suppose being somewhat involved in the mission is better than nothing at all.

As you’re left in the quiet of the cockpit to pilot the plane, Steve seems to find himself in a daze as he walks towards the cargo load where Bucky sits checking over the team’s weapons supply.

“How’d she take it?” Bucky prompts at the sound of footsteps, never once removing his eyes from the rifle he works to put together. However, his friend’s inability to respond has the soldier faltering in his movements. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s… great,” Steve breathes out with a shaky laugh, fighting to keep back the smile that attempts to play itself upon his lips. A whirlwind of emotions is whirling within him, and he isn’t sure how to approach such a precarious situation. He firmly claps a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gives it a loving squeeze. “I’m really happy for you, Buck.”

“Happy for me?” Bucky repeats unsurely, brows furrowing with confusion at Steve’s sudden change in demeanor.

“Of course I am. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to get a second chance at life after everything Hydra put you through.”

“Right…” he drawls quietly. His chest pangs with guilt at the mention of Hydra, tightening at the reminder of all they’d taken from him, but he still isn’t sure what his friend is getting at.

“While I support your new start in life, I can’t understand why you’d let y/n on this mission knowing her condition,” Steve points out with a disapproving frown, attempting to keep his tone void of any judgement. “I know how much being an Avenger means to her, but you can’t risk putting her and the baby in danger like that-“

“What?” Bucky chokes in shock, clearly taken aback by Steve’s comment.

“I know y/n’s pregnant,” the blond reiterates with a raised brow.

“No she’s not,” Bucky argues with an adamant shake of her head. “She just has a stomach bug, the same one Tony had.”

“Buck,” Steve utters, giving his friend a pointed look that signals his complete sincerity, “I heard a second heartbeat when I was with her in the cockpit. It was faint, practically drowned out by her own heartbeat, but it was there. She’s pregnant.”

“Oh, god,” Bucky breathes out uneasily, stomach already beginning to twist itself into nervous knots. “Oh, god, how could I have missed that?”

“You’re telling me you didn’t know?”

“Of course not!” Bucky cries defensively before immediately lowering his voice after earning himself a few curious stares from his other teammates. “I would never have let her step foot on the Quinjet if I knew that. This whole time I just thought she had some sort of stomach virus… I should have known, Steve. I’m her husband.”

“Hey, come on, don’t do that to yourself. I was barely able to hear it myself, and you probably tuned it out because you thought she was just sick. You know now, and that’s what’s important.”

“She told me she felt off before we left headquarters. I should have tried harder to get her to stay,” Bucky laments despondently, head hung in shame for putting you in danger once more.

“You and I both know there’s no stopping y/n from changing her mind,” Steve reminds him humorously, prompting a faint quirk of Bucky’s lips. “All we can do for now is complete this mission and make sure everyone on this jet gets home safe.”

“She doesn’t even know,” he replies halfheartedly as the two super soldiers focus their gazes on your figure in the pilot’s seat.

“You just have to keep this secret until we’re home,” Steve encourages him gently. “We can’t have any distractions.”

“I just can’t believe it… We’d tried so many times in the past, gotten countless negative tests. We both just decided to accept that it wasn’t going to happen for us, and now… now I’m going to be a father.”

“You’re going to be a great father,” the Captain affirms wholeheartedly, “and I’ll be there to help you both with whatever you need. I’ve got your back.”

A faint hum leaves Bucky as he hones in on your figure, focusing his concentration on the sound of your heartbeat as he does his best to block out the noise. The rhythm was steady in spite of your current predicament, and it was a familiar sound that brought comfort to his panicked mind. His state of focus allowed him to finally detect the unusual stutter that followed your own heartbeat, a fluttering sound that desperately tried to match your pace.

Bucky could do nothing but keep a watchful eye over you for the duration of the flight and hope that this mission went smoothly so you could return home as quickly as possible. You were going to be parents, and every second he kept that secret to himself was torture.

It was going to be a long day.

~~~

Much to Bucky’s relief, the mission goes by smoothly. Other than a minor explosion and a cut to Wanda’s forehead, the team leaves relatively unscathed. You’re still in a sullen mood over your lack of involvement, but Bucky is glad no harm had come to you during the trip.

At your return to the compound Steve is quick to excuse you both from the mission debrief, and this time you don’t have it in you to protest your exclusion as a sudden wave of fatigue washes over you. You don’t know why you feel so tired considering all you did was keep watch of the Quinjet and pilot the team home, but your body aches and the comfort of your bed is calling you. You have no objections to your husband escorting you to your shared room and helping you get settled into bed.

You swap your constricting suit for one of Bucky’s shirts after a quick shower and nearly collapse into the mattress with a groan. You feel awful and want nothing more than for your stomach virus to finally go away, but it seems that won’t be happening any time soon.

“Drink some water,” Bucky coaxes while gently brushing his fingers across the expanse of your cheek. “Once your stomach settles we can try to get some food in you.”

“Why do I feel so awful? Tony didn’t even have it this bad,” You whine pathetically, prompting Bucky to stiffen uncomfortably as he’s reminded of the current predicament he finds himself in. “Isn’t there a way to make it better?”

Sighing, features full of guilt and chest tight with agony from having to keep such an enormous secret from you all day, the man carefully seats himself on the edge of the bed beside you and takes your hand in his own. You watch with piqued interest at his sudden shift in demeanor, reminiscent of the way Steve had behaved towards you on the jet. The cool metal of his fingers is soothing enough to alleviate some of your tension, but you’re a bit unnerved by your husband’s behavior.

“James?” You press gently, slowly sitting yourself up in bed to meet his gaze. You know him well enough to detect even the slightest of changes in behavior, and now that it’s just the two of you in your bedroom he can’t hide from the truth any longer. “What’s going on?”

“You don’t have a stomach bug,” he says with finality. Your features immediately contort in confusion at his words, but he doesn’t give you any time to argue or question him. He figures it’s best to just rip the bandaid off. “The reason you’ve been feeling so awful lately is because… you’re pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” You retort with a disbelieving scoff. “That’s impossible! You know we can’t have kids. We’ve tried, James. It must be something else.”

“Y/n,” he utters gently, eyes pleading for you to believe him. “You know I would never get your hopes up like this by telling you something I wasn’t completely sure about. Steve and I- you know our senses are dialed to a hundred, and we can pick up on things that regular humans can’t. We heard a second heartbeat coming from you. It’s faint, but it’s there.”

“So I really am pregnant?” You murmur quietly. Your eyes are wide, lips parted with silent shock as you try to process the news your husband has just given you, and Bucky isn’t sure how to properly decipher the emotions fighting within you.

“You are,” he affirms, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze while allowing you the moment to organize your thoughts. “I know this might be scary considering we didn’t plan for this, and I know it changes so many things for us, but I’m here for you, and I support whatever you think the right move is.”

“I think…” you begin to say after swallowing down your nerves and resting your watery gaze on your husband. “I think we should do this.”

Bucky can’t help the wide grin that quickly spreads across his face at your words, his own eyes beginning to grow watery with tears he fights to keep at bay. He wants to be strong for you, but he can’t help the joy that overcomes him at the thought of finally starting a family with you. All he’s ever wanted is to settle down with his perfect girl and live the life that had once seemed so far out of reach, and now it feels like all the pieces are finally starting to fall into place.

“You really mean it?” Bucky asks hopefully.

“I mean it,” you reply, letting out a tearful laugh when he practically throws himself at you and pulls you tightly against his chest in a hug. “If you’re in, I’m in.”

“I’m all in,” he breathes into your neck before pulling away to pepper your face in tender kisses. “I wouldn’t want this with anyone but you.”

The news of your pregnancy fills you with an amalgamation of emotions. You’re so overjoyed yet so terrified of what is to come as you start to think of all you need to do to prepare for your child’s arrival, but your nerves are easily melted away as you remind yourself that you’ll always have your husband by your side. You’ve both endured grueling challenges in the past, dangerous missions and heartbreaking loss, but this new journey was yours, and no one could take that away from you.

As terrifying as becoming new parents may be, you know that you can get through anything so long as you have each other, and that single thought fills you with hope for the future.

[helaintoloki]

walked into the break room at work only to see infinity war playing on the tv and it’s right when loki dies too😭😭😭

[helaintoloki]

hello my lovelies! just wanted to make a quick announcement that i will temporarily be closing requests. i need to catch up on the ones i have in my inbox and also i’d like some time to start working on an original piece i’ve been brainstorming. thank you for your patience <3

[helaintoloki]

this is the thunderbolts* dynamic to me

[helaintoloki]

Mirror Image

pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: none!

notes: this blurb was a request sent in by my lovely mutual <3 ty for waiting hon and i hope you like it :)

request: Hi, loved your story Winter Flower! Would you be able to write a story based on this image below? where Bucky’s frustrated at some Ikea toolkit, not being able to assemble whatever properly, and next to him is you and Bucky’s son, about 4 years old with the same expression, copying his dad. domestic, married fluff.

“You’re kidding me!” Bucky’s exasperated voice sounds from the living room the moment you step foot into your home. You raise a brow in quiet amusement while setting down your gym bag and carefully treading further inside.

You’d left Bucky and your four year old son Henry to their own devices while you enjoyed a much needed workout session with Natasha. Becoming parents had certainly changed your normal routine as Avengers, but you found a way to make it work and balance your hero life with your personal life. In your absence, he had decided to use the free time to finally put together your son’s new bed now that he’d outgrown the crib. You had complete faith in his abilities, but from the sound of his frustrated groans it seemed he was having difficulties.

Peeking your head into the room without revealing your presence, you spot Bucky staring down in annoyance at the mess of wooden pieces that refused to stay screwed together. Hands tightly balled into fists at his sides and teeth clenched together with his lips slightly parted, you can easily note the frustration that radiates off of your poor husband. Bucky is a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to being a dad, and though you’ve reminded him time and again that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, he’s adamant about doing right by your son.

You open your mouth intending to tease your husband for his obvious hatred towards the toddler bed only to immediately shut it once you take notice of Henry standing a few feet away from Bucky. Heart swooning in your chest at the sight of him, you take note of the fact that his stance is nearly identical to his father’s. His tiny fists are clenched at his side while he puts on his best attempt at an angry face, consistently glancing over at James to ensure he’s correctly copying his every move. Your chest nearly bursts from the sweetness, and you make sure to snap a quick photo to provide Bucky with evidence of the fact that your son absolutely adores him in everything he does.

When you feel the moment is right you finally step into the living room and alert the two of your presence. Henry is on you instantly, running towards you with a gap toothed smile and eagerly raised hands as you lift him up and into your arms.

“Hey, you two,” you greet sweetly while pressing a kiss his cheek. “How are my favorite boys?”

“Dada is mad at my bed!” Henry points out animatedly much to Bucky’s embarrassment.

“I wanted to get this done so you’d have less on your plate to worry about when you got back from the gym,” Bucky expresses remorsefully as he comes to your side and wraps an arm around your frame, “but I can’t figure the damn thing out!”

“Language!” Henry scolds Bucky for his choice of words only for his father to affectionately ruffle his long tufts of brown hair.”

“We’ve definitely been letting Uncle Steve babysit you way too often.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over some overly complicated bed frame,” you assure him with a chaste peck to his lips. “Why don’t you step away for a bit to clear your head and join me and Henry for some lunch?”

“You’re right,” Bucky sighs before gently taking Henry from your arms. “I’ll make us some sandwiches so you can freshen up.”

You allow him to press a quick kiss to your temple before you head to the bathroom to shower and change into a fresh pair of clothes. You try not to keep your boys waiting too long, but your rush is proven to be pointless when you walk into the kitchen only to find it empty. There’s no sight of Bucky or Henry, and the loaf of bread you’d baked this morning is untouched. You let out a small huff of disappointment and make your way through the house in search of the two.

“Dada did it!” Henry cheers excitedly when you finally stumble upon them in the living room once more. Bucky stands proudly before his handiwork as the bed frame rests in the center of the room.

“What happened to making sandwiches?” You prompt him with a raised brow only for Bucky to sheepishly grasp the back of his neck.

“It was going to drive me crazy if I didn’t figure it out,” he admits guiltily only to earn a quiet laugh from you.

“You did good, honey,” you coo sweetly while admiring his hard work. A thought comes to you then, prompting you to furrow your brows as you look to your husband and say, “I do have one question though.”

“What is it?”

“How are you going to fit the frame through Henry’s door and get it into his bedroom?” You prompt, causing Bucky’s proud smile to immediately fall as he quietly shifts his gaze from the bed frame to the end of the hallway where your son’s room resides.

“Shit.”

“Language!”

It’s going to be a long day for your poor husband, but you know he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[helaintoloki]

Hi, loved your story Winter Flower! Would you be able to write a story based on this image below?

where Bucky’s frustrated at some Ikea toolkit, not being able to assemble whatever properly, and next to him is you and Bucky’s son, about 4 years old with the same expression, copying his dad. domestic, married fluff.

Thank you<3

[helaintoloki]

found my captain marvel doll while cleaning my closet. honestly forgot i had her

[helaintoloki]

i got hit on by a man 10 years older than me last night so what i’m gonna take away from this is i am capable of pulling older men which technically also means i’m capable of pulling bucky

[helaintoloki]

hi guys! just wanted to say thank you so much for 5k followers! i made this blog back in high school to read fics and connect with community, and i never would have imagined how much it would grow over time. i greatly appreciate each and every one of you that interacts with my blog <3 i am thinking of hosting some type of event to celebrate so stay tuned while i figure out the details

[helaintoloki]

hii !!! would u be able to do a bucky x reader where they are at a party and something happens like the reader gets assaulted by someone and she has a panic attack and bucky finds her and helps her through it and comforts her? then some protective!bucky where he sorts out whoever hurt her or something. i hope that is okay !!!!! thanks 🩷

author’s note: hi dear! apologies for how long it took me to get to this. i did make some minor tweaks to the prompt but hopefully you like it!

warnings: attempted assault (reader escapes before anything can happen), violence, language, feelings of guilt/shame, hurt/comfort, minor thunderbolts* spoilers, Bucky is sickeningly sweet to his dear reader

summary: Bucky seeks justice after you experience a frightening encounter at the bar

“What? You’re leaving already?!” Yelena protests as you fish your card out of your purse to close your tab. “The night is still young!”

“I know, but I have an early press conference in the morning I can’t miss,” you tell her with an apologetic smile despite the prominent pout on her lips. “Besides, you know I can’t keep up with either of you anyway.”

“She’s got a point,” Ava notes with a raised brow before taking a swig of her beer.

You’re not an Avenger or any kind of hero, only a local journalist, but the two women had taken to you almost immediately after Bucky reluctantly introduced you to the team. Your witty sarcasm and ability to withstand their antics had earned you their respect almost instantly, and it wasn’t long before they began inviting you to their weekly nights out on the town. Being a New Avenger wasn’t easy, especially when most of the world refused to take you seriously, so they liked the slice of normalcy your presence brought them and the fact that you had a way of making them feel somewhat important. Yelena often warned Bucky she’d steal you away if he wasn’t careful, and he soon came to realize she wasn’t joking.

“We’ll walk you out,” Ava says as she starts to rise from her seat only for you to wave her off.

“That’s alright, you guys stay put. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Yelena urges with a raised brow while looking over the people in the room for any signs of danger. “It is really no problem.”

“Really, it’s fine,” you insist with a faint smile, “I sent Bucky a text a while ago so he should be here any second. You guys enjoy yourselves.”

Despite their protests, you’re able to convince the two to let you walk out of the bar by yourself. It’s something you’ve done numerous times in the past, and with Bucky most likely already waiting for you outside you feel safe enough to venture out into the cool evening air alone.

The music from inside soon becomes muffled as you allow the doors to shut behind you while you survey your surroundings. There’s no sign of Bucky anywhere, prompting you to pull out your phone with a sigh as you check for any new messages. You absently begin to head back into the bar as you pull up his contact only for your path to be blocked by a presence that hadn’t been there before.

“Hey, you leaving already?” The man asks with a charming grin. His face is clean shaven with friendly features, and though he seems like someone who hasn’t touched a single drop of alcohol tonight, you’re not interested in starting a rapport with a stranger.

“Yep,” you respond as dryly as possible to showcase your clear disinterest. “Just waiting for my boyfriend.”

“That’s too bad,” the man notes while stepping towards you, the closeness prompting you to shuffle back in discomfort. “I was hoping I could get to know you more. I saw you in there with your friends and thought you were really pretty.”

You feel an uncomfortable sense of unease settle in your gut, your intuition screaming at you to go back inside and accept Yelena and Ava’s offer to wait outside with you. Your skin crawls the longer the man looks at you, and all you want is to get away before he can continue to invade your space with false pleasantries. This doesn’t feel right.

“I think I forgot my jacket inside,” you fib while hastily trying to maneuver your way around him for the door, but he’s quick to grab onto your arm and keep you in place.

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” the man reprimands you coldly while harshly tugging you back towards him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Let go of me!” You demand, fruitlessly trying to pry yourself from his ironclad grip. You can feel the tension in your muscles as he squeezes harder, sure to leave a bruise in his wake as he pulls you up against him. You yelp in protest and desperately struggle in his hold to no avail. You hopelessly look around for anyone that can help, but the streets are empty and the music from inside the bar is much too loud for anyone to hear you scream.

You’re alone.

“I tried to be nice, but you clearly need to be taught some manners,” the man sneers before roughly gripping your face in his hand. You feel his other hand slowly start to wander down your back and immediately begin to panic as you realize what’s coming next. Your mind is scrambling for some sort of way out, despairingly trying to remember at least one defense move Bucky or Yelena had taught you for situations like these.

The feel of his fingers digging into your hip sends a surge of adrenaline through your body, and without a second thought you rear your head back before slamming it with full force into his face. The man cries out in frustration at your attack, clearly not expecting you to fight back. He releases his hold on you to cradle his now bloody nose, and you use this moment of freedom to sprint as far away as you can from the man. His frame was still blocking the entrance to the bar, so you had no choice but to run down the sidewalk in hopes that he wouldn’t follow you.

Your legs feel like they’re on fire, your lungs burning as you gulp in the biting night air, but you never once stop to look back. In fact, your running is only halted when you slam straight into a solid figure on the sidewalk. A pair of familiar arms grabs hold of you to keep you from falling backward, but you still try to fight against their grip in your continuing state of panic.

“Stop! Let me go!” You cry out desperately while pounding your fists against their chest. “Don’t touch me!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” The voice urges you while carefully taking hold of your wrists to cease your assault. “Y/n, stop, it’s me!”

The familiarity of the voice registers in your mind and you instantly begin to falter. Willing your body to cease its state of panic, you look up through teary eyes to meet the worried gaze of your boyfriend. The fight within you dies, and you immediately collapse into his arms as you begin to sob. Your chest is tight with anguish and your skin aflame from the stranger’s touch, and despite knowing that you’re safe now you can’t bring yourself to calm down.

“I’m here,” Bucky assures you as he holds you against him and soothingly rubs circles into your back. “I’m right here, pretty girl. You’re safe. Just take a deep breath for me, y/n.”

You try your best to do as he says, taking in trembling gasps of air despite the steady flow of tears and snot that stream down your face. You try to focus on the feel of his fingers against your back and the sound of his heartbeat gently thrumming through his chest, and despite the time it takes to pull yourself together Bucky never wavers in his support for you.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asks gently after your sobbing ceases and all that is left is the subtle trembling of your body in his hold.

“I-I walked outside to look for you, but then this man came out of nowhere and he- he tried to-“ you attempt to get out only to break down into sobs once more. Bucky’s eyes grow cold as he puts the pieces of your story together, a growing rage bubbling within his chest at the thought of someone trying to hurt you. He wanted nothing more than to march back to that bar and find the man who touched you, make him wish he’d never so much as looked in your direction, but Bucky knew that right now the most important thing was you. You needed him, and that took precedence over his revenge fantasies.

“It’s alright,” he hushes you gently, carefully brushing away your tears before comfortingly pressing his lips to the crown of your head. “You don’t need to say anything else. Let’s just get you home, okay?”

Unable to form a coherent sentence, you simply nod and allow him to wrap a protective arm around you as he escorts you to his awaiting car. Though your tears continue to fall and your entire body is crawling with disgust and shame, you’re able to finally relax in the presence of your boyfriend. You know that Bucky would never let anything happen to you, and you can slowly begin to let your guard down as you force yourself to rest.

Other than the sound of your quiet sniffles and Bucky’s steady breathing the ride home is silent. His right hand lovingly encompasses your own while his left tightly grips the steering wheel in a quiet display of fury. He tries not to let his mind wander, but he can’t stop himself from thinking of what could have happened to you if he had shown up later. Bucky adored you, and he couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you because he’d failed to protect you. He knew it wasn’t his fault, just like it wasn’t your fault that some creep had tried to take advantage of you, but he couldn’t help but feel responsible for the trauma you’d just endured.

He brings you to the tower instead of your own apartment back in the city due to the fact that it’s the safest place you can be, and it would ease his mind to know he could keep an eye on you while you processed what had happened to you. You don’t have it in you to protest, especially not when all you want is to be comforted by the man you love, so you allow him to guide you through the building and up the elevator towards his room.

The late hour means the tower is silent, and you’re grateful for the fact that everyone has long since gone to bed. You don’t think you could handle running into someone and having to explain your distraught state, and you’re too embarrassed to be able to relay what had happened to you to anyone other than Bucky.

“Can I use your shower?” You ask meekly once you cross the threshold into his room. Shutting the door gently behind him, Bucky responds with a warm nod and lovingly cups your face in his hands.

“Of course. Anything you want,” he reassures you while gently running his thumb along the expanse of your cheek. “There’s fresh towels already stocked in there. Do you want some of my clothes or do you want me to swipe something from Yelena’s room to wear?”

“Yours,” you reply softly, voice so quiet Bucky almost misses your response. His heart pangs with guilt at seeing you so downtrodden and defeated, but he hopes a warm shower and a night of rest will help improve your mood and alleviate your stress.

You step into the bathroom and start the shower while Bucky searches through his drawers for something you can wear. You’re quick to remove all clothing and toss it in the hamper so you no longer have to bare the constricting fabric, and once the water is warm you fully submerge yourself under the shower head so you can begin washing away the grime.

You scrub your skin with more force than necessary, desperate to rid yourself of the sense of disgust and shame that lingers on your body despite having long since removed yourself from the clutches of your attacker. No amount of soap or body wash frees you from the torment of your assault, and no matter how hard you try you aren’t able to rid yourself of the growing bruise on your arm that marks your skin with evidence of your trauma. You wish you hadn’t gone out tonight, you wish you hadn’t denied Yelena and Ava’s offers to walk you out, you wish you could have done something differently to stop any of this from ever happening to you.

“It isn’t your fault,” Bucky assures you gently after you speak such thoughts aloud. You’d spent half an hour in the shower attempting to cleanse yourself before finally giving up and deciding to get dressed. You’d slipped into a tee shirt and sweatpants that were much too big for you, but Bucky’s lingering scent on the clothes served as a comfort and alleviated some of your tension. Now you sit quietly in bed while he lovingly brushes out your wet hair for you.

“But if I hadn’t gone outside by myself or if I had been nicer-“ you begin to say only for Bucky to cease his movements so he can gently take your face in his hands and stop you from finishing your sentence.

“That’s not true,” he insists sternly, his words contrasting the softness of his tone. His brows are set in a firm line as he meets your gaze and comfortingly rests a thumb on your trembling bottom lip “What happened isn’t on you, it’s on him. That bastard had no right to put his hands on you or force you into something you didn’t want. Do you understand, sweetheart? You did nothing wrong.”

You let out a shaky breath as a silent trail of tears begin to fall down your cheeks, only able to offer him a small nod in return. You know he’s right, and you know that you’re innocent in this situation despite how hard your brain screams otherwise. You’ve felt nothing but shame and guilt since coming home, but Bucky always knows how to chase away the storm clouds from your mind. You’re safe here in the comfort of his room, and you know that you can let your guard down and accept his words of affirmation.

“I promise you I’m going to do whatever you need me to for you to feel safe,” Bucky avows in earnest before leaning down to press his lips against your own in a kiss. “I don’t want you to feel like you always have to look over your shoulder now and I don’t want you to worry about someone trying to hurt you. I won’t let that happen. I’ve got you, okay?”

You say nothing but are quick to throw your arms around his neck and tightly hold him against you. His arms immediately find their way around your frame as he holds you close and carefully maneuvers you both back into bed. His metal arm keeps you tucked securely into his side while his flesh fingers gingerly rake against your scalp the way he knows you like. The feel of his heartbeat against your cheek as you rest your face on his chest lulls you into a state of calm, and you can almost feel the tension melting away from your body as you put your entire trust into your partner.

You know no harm can come to you with Bucky around, and this thought allows you to drift into a relaxing slumber as you fall asleep in his arms.

~~~

The tower is quiet when you wake the next morning.

Though you’d managed to sleep without disruption until morning, memories of the previous night were quick to flood your conscious and fill you with quiet gloom. You don’t think you could have handled attending that press conference this morning, which is why you’re grateful Bucky had called in for you and taken care of everything. All you needed to focus on today was taking care of yourself and recharging from the exhaustion your body felt.

After Bucky lovingly coaxes you out of bed and helps you through your morning routine you make your way to the kitchen for breakfast. While the rest of the team is nowhere to be found, you stumble upon Bob contently buttering a piece of burnt toast while he waits for the coffee machine to finish making his espresso. The man looks surprised to see you at first, but his features soon morph into a sheepish smile as he offers you a friendly wave.

“Morning,” he greets you both as you sit yourself at the counter. “I didn’t know you guys were here. Everyone else went out for the day. Toast?”

You offer him a faint smile and a careful shake of your head as he holds the charred piece of bread out for you to take. You don’t feel very hungry right now, and you’re okay with just settling for the protein shake Bucky slides your way across the counter. He won’t force you to eat, but you know he’ll feel better if you at least have some form of nutrients in your system. You take slow and languid sips from the cup while you watch your partner prepare his morning oatmeal.

“I have to run out for a bit,” he says suddenly from his place at the stove, catching the attention of both you and Bob. “Valentina has me working as her errand boy this morning and I can’t get out of it. Will you be okay while I’m gone?”

“Of course,” you reply with an understanding nod and a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “Duty calls.”

“I won’t be away for long,” Bucky promises, making his way over to you so that he can press a kiss to your temple. “Once I’m done you’ll have me to yourself for the rest of the day.”

You hum in quiet appreciation and relish in the feeling of his lips against your skin. His gentle reassurances ease the worry that had begun to bubble at the thought of him leaving, but you know Bucky has never gone back on his word to you, so this time shouldn’t be any different.

“Can I trust you to look after my girl while I’m gone, Bob?” He asks the blond with a raised brow, tone half serious as he claps a firm hand on the jumpy man’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Bob avows in earnest before looking to you with uncertainty. “I’ll try my best, at least.”

“We’ll be okay, James,” you assure the man with a quiet laugh. “I’m sure Bob and I can figure out something to do in your absence.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

Knowing that you’ll be looked after while he’s away lifts a weight off of Bucky’s shoulders as he bids you goodbye and departs from the tower. It makes his next task much easier to complete now that he’s free of distractions.

There was no errand from Valentina, but Bucky couldn’t tell you that he was off to enact the revenge plan he’d been mulling over the entire night while you slept.

He liked to consider himself a changed man. He’d been through grueling efforts to rid himself of the Winter Soldier in Wakanda, and he’d put in the hours at therapy to help him work through his lingering turmoil as his past continued to clash with his present. He was a better man now, a man determined to make the world a better place so you could be safe.

In spite of this, Bucky also knew that monsters still lingered in dark corners, and not everyone was deserving of his kindness. The trigger words had been erased, but his skill set had remained, and Bucky couldn’t be bothered to feel an ounce of guilt for using them when it was for your benefit. He knew you wouldn’t approve, would beg him to let it go because it wasn’t worth his time, but he couldn’t sit idly by and let this asshole get away with hurting you, and he couldn’t ley him have the chance to hurt someone again.

Finding the guy had been easy. All Bucky had to do was return to the bar you had gone to with Yelena and Ava, use his charm to get the bartender to hand him the security footage, and find the clip that revealed the man who had dared try to put his hands on you. Bucky committed the face to memory before setting off on his search, determined to use his tracking skills for good.

It didn’t take long to find out everything Bucky needed to know about your assailant. Just as he had done countless times as the Winter Soldier, Bucky had been able to hunt him down with ease and uncover the details necessary for his mission. The man’s name was Arthur, he was forty-two years old, and his phone carrier was Verizon, which was especially useful to know since it allowed him to hack into the asshole’s phone and pin his location.

His findings led him to the alley way of another dingy bar where Arthur lurked for his next victim. Too busy searching for unsuspecting women, the man failed to notice the Winter Soldier quietly creeping up behind him until it was too late. His metal hand grabbed the back of the perpetrator’s neck while the flesh one quickly wrapped around his jaw to muffle his panicked screams as Bucky dragged him into the alley way behind the bar. He was grateful for the fact that the space was empty and secluded, granting him cover despite it being broad daylight out.

Bucky immediately slams your attacker against the wall, keeping him pinned by the throat and dangling him high enough to keep his feet from touching the ground. He flails pathetically, spluttering and frantic while desperately clawing at the metal fingers pressing roughly against his windpipe. James simply flashes him a pleasant smile.

“You don’t know me,” Bucky states plainly with an innocent shrug before immediately hardening his gaze, “but I know you, Arthur.”

“H-How do you know my name?” The man whimpers fearfully only for Bucky to yank him forward and slam him back against the wall once more.

“I know everything about you,” he explains with a chilling smile that fills the man’s stomach with dread. “I know that you prey on unsuspecting women. I know that you throw temper tantrums when you don’t get your way. I know that you’re a lowlife piece of shit who thinks he’s entitled to any woman that crosses his path. Most importantly, I know you tried to take advantage of my girl.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The man sobs pathetically, clearly afraid for his life and willing to say whatever he must to get Bucky to set him free. “I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t lie to me, Arthur,” Bucky warns with a humorless chuckle and soft shake of his head. “That’s only going to make things worse for you. Last night, you put your hands on a woman leaving a bar and tried to assault her before she got away. Do you remember that?”

A sniveling mess, the man gives Bucky a frantic nod.

“Good, I’m glad you’re being honest,” he sighs before finally releasing his hold. The man drops to the floor in a heap, desperately gasping for air and watching in trepidation as Bucky kneels down in front of him. “I like to consider myself a changed man, Arthur, but after I found out about what you did to my sweet girl… well, I felt like I had no choice but to kill you.”

“N-No, please! Please, I-I have a family! A wife and kids! I-“

“Shut the hell up, would you?” He interrupts in annoyance. “I want nothing more than to rid the earth of someone like you, but I won’t. I know my y/n wouldn’t want that. In fact, she doesn’t even know we’re having this chat right now, so out of respect for her, I’m not going to kill you.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! I promise I won’t ever bother her again!” Arthur sobs in relief only for Bucky’s heavy boot to immediately slam down on his hand. The sound of crunching bones and agonizing shrieks fill the alleyway as he forces his sole down harder.

“Consider this a warning,” Bucky avows lowly through gritted teeth. “If I find out you even so much as put a fucking finger on another woman again you’ll be dealing with worse than a broken hand. You make sure to tell that wife of yours exactly what it was you did to deserve this, and keep the fuck away from my girl.”

Bucky leaves the man there without so much as a second glance, uncaring to his pathetic cries or pleas for help. He’s confident the streets will be free of one less predator, and he can feel content in knowing he’d gotten you the justice you deserved. He should have killed him, he wanted to kill him, but he wasn’t that man anymore. He was changed, and he wasn’t about to jeopardize your new life together by completely reverting back to his old ways. The Winter Soldier would retreat back to the inner depths of Bucky’s mind, and he would return to you as the James you knew and loved.

When Bucky finally makes it back to the tower, he finds you nestled on the couch with a blanket absently watching your favorite reality show on the flatscreen. A mess of snacks takes up the coffee table, and a few feet away from you lies a sleeping Bob who had long since passed out during your binge session. He greets you with a kiss before tiredly seating himself beside you, wrapping his flesh arm around you and pulling you closer into his side.

“You doing okay?” He prompts you gently, fingers soothingly trailing up and down your arm.

“I think so,” you reply quietly before shifting to meet his gaze. “Were you able to finish those errands for Valentina?”

“I handled it,” he assures you with a careful nod. You hum softly and curl closer into his side, enjoying the warmth and comfort you’ve missed in his absence. The room is quiet other than the sound of the television, and a few beats pass before you decide to rupture the stillness you find yourselves in.

“James?”

The dulcet nature in which his name falls from your lips has the man peering down at your tender gaze. He subtly raises a brow in question and prompts you to continue with a slow nod of his head. Your eyes are knowing yet full of gratitude, lips curling into the faintest of smiles that anyone other than him would miss.

“Thank you,” you utter carefully, catching the man by surprise. The look on your face reveals your understanding of his absence and the fact that you know there never were any errands to attend to. You know what he has done, and you aren’t angry or disappointed. You’re grateful for his valiant efforts to bring you justice, and it makes it all the more worth it.

“I told you,” he reminds you tenderly, hand coming to rest upon your cheek, “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

And he means it with every fiber of his being.

[helaintoloki]

Is there a possibility you would write the ‘Winter Flower’ fic in a platonic sense where, perhaps the reader is a child instead?

if you mean like completely rewrite winter flower and only change the relationship dynamic then probably not, but if you mean write something similar where reader and Bucky are both under hydra’s control but he looks after them as a protective brother/father figure then yes i’d be open to that :)

[helaintoloki]

do i still need to put spoiler warnings for pieces involving the thunderbolts* or is it fair game now?

[helaintoloki]

finally finished writing my next piece! just have to edit and upload which i will probably do tomorrow :) !

[helaintoloki]

little life update: sorry i haven’t been posting. finals week was hectic and so was grad week but i finally got to walk the stage today! hoping to post soon since i’m almost done with a request i’ve been working on :)