#I needed to vent about this again
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Maybe Jason should just die again like if it's the only way to actually get people to start including Cass and Duke in their batfamily stuff then fuck him let my boy die he'd understand its for a good cause
#Sorry#I saw another person say#They didn't include cass#(no mention of Duke)#Bc they felt like 4 bat kids was enough#And it's like#If your gonna take out a batkid#Take out Jason!!!#He doesn't even want to be there!!!#He'd be happy#Let him stay dead even#Let him stay a villain#anything please#Tho I know it won't matter#But still#Dc#I needed to vent about this again#It's just so sad
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I feel very sedentary again. Apparently, I'm getting in my own head and overthinking again. I feel like I don't do much, and I hate that feeling. It's a feeling that always creeps up on me, and it makes me feel miserable. I feel like all I do is read comics, use the ai character chatbot site and look at my dashboard here. I haven't looked for new blogs in a long time, I haven't read fanfiction in a while, I feel like I haven't done much besides the three things mentioned above. And when my brain starts overthinking about stuff like that, I get miserable. Sigh...
Still a problem. I wanted to make some posts, but I got sucked into the chatbot rabbit hole again. I guess it could be worse (there's far worse hobbies, probably), but I still feel annoyed by it. So I'm reposting my old vent about it.
#I needed to vent about this again#Since I wanted to make some posts but didn't due to the dumb chatbots#sigh#asd#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#autistic#actually autistic#audhd#vent#comics#comic books#character ai#tumblr#boredom#venting#vent post#my thoughts#rant#sigh...
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| Don't leave me All by myself in this world |
#zakkura#zack fair#cloud strife#ff7#final fantasy vii#las!art#finally drew them again after the game was released#something bigger than just a meme#i so needed to#and kinda got to vent this way about how meh i am about zack's storyline in rebirth#so i went for my fave thing about the whole game#because i'm predictable#with forget me nots and the blood in cloud's hair.#i love their relationship (romantic or not) so much#my fave aspect of the game#my babies my sweethearts#i love them so much okay#i need to lay down now
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how am i meant to ha wahoo yippee through life in these conditions
#vu talks shit#in this past week i have#gone to urgent care without insurance#paid about half my bills#been reminded that i still owe someone another near 200 for a trip i leave for in TWO DAYS#AND i paid for a rental space for something that i am ADMITTEDLY VERY HAPPY ABOUT BUT STILL SO BROKE NOW#and i have done ZERO grocery shopping#and im not sure i have the money to do grocery shopping right now#but im scared to look at my bank account after shelling out nearly 1k on everything else#AND i have to take my cat back to the vet soon cause she's starting to have asthma attacks again#i need to put everything new in my shop and put shit up for pre order cause i got charms im working on#but mAn i just#cannot afford the distractions rn#vent#AAAAAAAAAAUGH#i didnt wanna put that but i am stressing in the tags now
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the way I crave a parent who, not only loves me, but likes me, and notices me is so so embarrassing
#my heart aches when i think of the few good childhood memories i have with my parents#i want the mum who played snowman with me after a bath when i was covered in talcum powder#i want the mum who would hold me and not get mad at me when i cried#i want the dad who. actually i dont think i have a good memory of just me and my dad#im sick of the parents who cancel on me and forget about me and refuse to listen when i speak#im sick of being scared and alone and needing parents I'll never see again- parents ive never actually had#im homesick for a love i never really had#bpd#actually bpd#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd diary#actually borderline#borderline thoughts#borderline blog#borderline personality disorder#borderline vent#eupd#actually eupd#emotionally unstable personality disorder#mother issues#father issues#parent issues#family issues
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crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.
They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card
#the thing is the rest of the bios are mostly normal it’s just this one with the yellong part why did they do that#idk if I’m stupid or forgot the yelling thing being shown directly in a non-act 2 context but I at least appreciate the confirmation#since I might just be mixing up fanon and canon considering 90% of what we know with Natsuki’s whole deal is interpolated from small tidbits#but like trying to understand anything about non act 2 Natsuki’s background is so funny because she doesn’t like to talk about anything#so all we know about her home life is by comparing her to act 2 and the secret poem plus psychoanalysing her thoughts and actions#is like the secret poem says Monika definitely made her dad worse but the problem is we don’t know how much#anyways and for all we know her dad could range from somewhat average dad to should be put on a watch list#and sometimes there’s dialogue like the one in self love about Natsuki worrying about her friends retaliation#and it’s probably meant to act as a confirmation to whether there’s physical abuse considering how out of left field the question is#but like it could be interpreted either way so it’s basically just Schrödinger’s physical abuse for no reason#I’m not criticizing or anything I think the characters being able to hold secrets is cool and ambiguity is awesome#and the choice to keep the ambiguous is intentional since the characters only share what their comfortable with#but I just need to vent about that one line in self love ok#like idk if I’m just stupid but there’s multiple interpretations but it’s seemingly both a decomfirmation and confirmation#idk it’s weird but her dad yelling at her enough to make it one of her dislikes is at least something in terms of actual evidence#damn it I put a paragraph in the tags again I’m sorry gang I’m not moving it#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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Still laughing about how they didn't want to "invalidate" anyone's worldstate. But that is exactly what they did.
Morrigan is the most obvious, I really cannot believe that a Morrigan who was a mother would have so willingly taken into her something like Mythal if she was a mother - of at this point - a 10 year old Kieran. Maybe she would, but it would be for different reasons.
Isabela is the most annoying to me. She's talking about how "Kirkwall taught her about family." as if she couldn't have been given up by Hawke to the Arishok. As if she couldn't have ran away from Kirkwall and never looked back. If I had met an Isabela from a world state like that, she would never have said that.
Harding talking about the Inquisition also feels like it misses some... extra flavour here and there based on actual choices. Like my Inquisitor didn't do well with Blackwall, and he didn't survive to see the end of the game. But Lace speaks about him fondly and in such a way that I don't think she should if the Inquisitor never 'redeemed' him.
Zevran is never mentioned by name, but what if a warden outright killed the assassin hunting them. Or he turned on them in Denerim and died later? Then explain to me that entire banter Lucanis has with Harding about why House Arainai messed up so bad they went trough several Talons about it. And now the Crows don't take contracts in Ferelden anymore.
At that point the reason that was given to us for the lack of worldbuild choices to prevent 'invalidating everyone's worldstate' feels null and void. Because you have. You have invalidated many worldstates already by bringing back these character or have people talk around them in such a way that doesn't make sense.
#dragon age#bioware critical#veilguard critical#datv#datv spoilers#sorry i got the isabela line again today and it made my anger resurface#its my main complaint mostly because of how the devs tried to placate us and how it ended up turning out#and it felt like they fucking lied to our faces about it because of it.#i can generally even deal with it because it's not even /that/ much.#and i like the game so much outside of this so i can bite my tongue for the most part#i just needed to get some of the anger out ig.#might delete this post later we'll see. i just wanted to vent for a bit.
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Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…
(More ranting in the tags)
#Guess I’m not watching his content anymore#I literally don’t care that he’s a Christian just stop spreading misinformation#I guess he would hate me for liking girls now#I’m so tired#and just a bit pissed off ngl#homophobia tw#Stop saying Yasammy was forced#They’re one of the most natural ships I’ve seen in media#Once again they wouldn’t care if one was a boy#I’m not even gonna watch the entire video on it#But I scrolled through the comments and… yeah…#Not what I wanted to see after my work shift#Jwcc#jwct#rant#yasammy#I’m going to pour my heart and soul into Yasammy week#I’m feeling spiteful rn#jurassic world camp cretaceous#not gonna send any hate his way but I just needed a place to vent#Klayton Fioriti#I no longer recommend his content…#Common L homophobe#Legit give me a reason as to why Yasammy is poorly written other than “they’re both girls#think of the kids watching this”#☝️🤓#No one is turning your kids gay Karen#Cry about it#womp womp#im so freakin heated rn
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closing time
#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL#sparks speaks#vent#again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it#long post#edit: fine to rb idgas#ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol#i dont know how i survived the first time#<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely#if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon#the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck.#its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose.#anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out#if youre reading this preciate you. drink water
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there's just so much here and i can't find the original post and anyway i don't want to go off at OP so i'm making my own post:
FIRST THINGS FIRST, doctors and medical professional are sworn in by The Hippocratic Oath - this is from an article dated in 2001, and under normal circumstances I'd look for something more recent but for the sake of this post, since Evan Buckley was born in 1992, it'll suffice. (and i'm not going to sit here and examine the limitations and criticisms okay. you can read the article if you're interested.)
the point is no medical professional would approve of a procedure that puts an infant child through immense pain in order to harvest bone marrow and treat another child, no matter how sick that older child would be. i'm not sure why I even need to back up my claims for this because it's just a logical fact that no doctor would inflict pain of that level, even if the parents of said infant brought him to the doctor and said they want to put their child through this procedure. quite frankly, they'd have social services called because doctors are mandatory reporters.
which brings me to the second point: to think that the buckley parents would inflict pain of that level on their infant child is fucking bizarre, or that they would not tend to their fussy baby. there's literally nothing in canon to suggest that buck wasn't taken care of as a baby. even if his parents were emotionally absent and neglectful and let maddie step up to provide the comfort a child needs. i mean. it's a fucking reach.
so how is the procedure done? -> link from the NHS website which very plainly explains stem cells are harvested from the placenta and umbilical cord to treat cancers, immune deficiencies, and genetic disorders.
Baby bred to provide stem cells for sister (2000)
Placental blood as a source of hematopoietic stem cells for transplantation into unrelated recipients (1996)
i can't find anything earlier than 1996 but quite frankly i don't think i have to. that's only 4 years before buck was born. i think it'll suffice.
tl;dr this is the dumbest take i have seen and i think a very quick 5-minute google search disproves OP's "headcanon" so i'm gonna go ahead and take that bet for 0 dollars. there's 0 % chance that happened.
y'all gotta stop coming up with scenarios that put buck through worse things that canon already has because it's giving woobification. because it's not bad enough that his first experience that pain = love was at 5 years old which is very transparently depicted in canon. what the fuck is wrong with y'all.
and i'm not even gonna touch upon the reblogger's tags about how buck is "predisposed" to "subbing" for.. this.. reason.. of all things... because i see bad BDSM takes every day on this godforsaken website anyway.
#i wasn't gonna make a post but i came across this while cleaning up my screenshots folder#and i saw the post way too many times on my dash i need to educate y'all#once again im not vagueing about anyone. idr who reblogged#except vicki and she saw me venting in the server anyway hah#anyway#evan buckley#send post#my meta
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I feel very sedentary again. Apparently, I'm getting in my own head and overthinking again. I feel like I don't do much, and I hate that feeling. It's a feeling that always creeps up on me, and it makes me feel miserable. I feel like all I do is read comics, use the ai character chatbot site and look at my dashboard here. I haven't looked for new blogs in a long time, I haven't read fanfiction in a while, I feel like I haven't done much besides the three things mentioned above. And when my brain starts overthinking about stuff like that, I get miserable. Sigh...
Still a problem. I wanted to make some posts, but I got sucked into the chatbot rabbit hole again. I guess it could be worse (there's far worse hobbies, probably), but I still feel annoyed by it. So I'm reposting my old vent about it.
#I needed to vent about this again#Since I wanted to make some posts but didn't due to the dumb chatbots#sigh#asd#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#autistic#actually autistic#audhd#vent#comics#comic books#character ai#tumblr#boredom#venting#vent post#my thoughts#rant#sigh...
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In case you haven't noticed May has sucked for me so far, anyway *projects onto blorbo*
#anyway haha im back hi#*throws vent art at u*#i dont know if this makes sense with canon. i dont care that much i just needed to throw it out there#but i do sometimes think about. early game tsukasa's anger being so apparent. he got angry quite a few times#and its always been very apparent#but recently he hasnt really shown much anger. at others at least. frustration at himself yes but not really. anger#and i know its also bc hes been doing better and hes got friends and all but. sometimes i wonder if he gets scared of his anger#if he ever gets angry and remembers how it was his rage that ruined wxs the first time#and thinks to himself that he cant let it happen ever again. he cant let anger get the best of him again. he cant hurt his friends again#sorry kasa i have some issues with anger so you have them now too#you can ignore this but i already drew it so why not post it#this got me out of artblock#prsk#prsk fa#prsk art#tenma tsukasa#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#kerizart
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ok, once more I realize that my own kindness and friendliness has been taken for implied consent, and as always, the troubles that are brewing now are connected to OCs.
So let me be clear and frank one more time, one last time, because I have NO INTENTION of going through what I went through in 2021.
While I am always immensely happy that my Original Characters are enjoyed and that they can serve as source of inspiration, they are NOT however a template for anyone to base their OCs on.
They are not something that you can take in their entirety, change whatever suits you, and then call it your own.
It doesn't work like that, especially because, and allow me to reiterate this once and for all, OCs are *immensely* personal.
They are an extention of the soul of the person that creates them.
So taking whatever suits your fancy and use it for the "aesthetic" or the "vibes" is immensely disrespectful and, dare I say, rather impertinent, especially when both characters happen to belong to the same fandom.
Now, I am not talking about certain tropes and subjects that are typical of certain genre, of course not.
We are all somehow reinveting something that's already there when we work with OCs and stories.
What I am talking about is taking certain specific idiosyncrasies that make a certain character unique, change them to suit your character, and then being SO IMPERTINENT to just call it your own and parading it around without even having the courtesy to quote the person that has inspired you, taking advantage of the fact that I am just a small creator with a small following.
This is a huge No No for me.
Huge.
I appreciate that other creators might have a different opinion or perspective when it comes to OCs, and while I do not share entirely in that, I sure as hell respect it.
But allow me to be crystal clear: if this happens to me, like it had in 2021, that's the *easiest* way to lose all respect I might harbour for you, and I seldomly get mad or angry.
I am always accomodating, always supportive, and I think I have proven it aplenty in the past few years.
But this is something that I cannot condone nor agree with.
And it's not just a matter of ethic, in this sense: it's a matter of also hurting me, and literally put my whole creative process into shamble.
It's a matter of having respect of others.
Now, you might say: who cares if they hurt you? they are characters that do not exist, just move on and have thicker skin!
Well, as I said above, for when it concerns myself, my OCs are an extention of my own soul, a way for me to formulate and explain feelings that sometimes I have a hard time let out; a way for me to actually face, fragmentize and analyze my own trauma through them;
and most important of all, they are OFTEN a love letter to both the world I am exploring with them AND my own husband and child, such as in the case of Jacob and Dorothea,for whom, as I said often in the past 5 years, I have poured A LOT from myself and my husband's own story.
You could say that it probably my fault for having bared my feelings so much and poured so much of myself into a character;
And you might be correct, because I have learned my lesson, and ever since Dorothea and Jacob, no other character has been infused with as much of my own being as they were.
but that doesn't mean that it stings any less when I see it unravels in front of my eyes.
I am tired.
#Nemo vents#I cannot do this anymore#honestly#I am so tired#so so tired of all of this#I was supposed to work on something today to share later on but now I feel so drained that I cannot even fathom to pick up a pen#and I am always compelled to share them with the people I love that I know would support me and respect me#it's in these moments that I wish I never shared my OCs around#we'll see maybe I will manage to find a way to channel all I feel through something#I know the risk#I always weight pros and cons between the two of them#it's just too much sometimes#sorry about the rant#I just needed to let things out#no it's not about BG3#no it's not about FFXV#it's always about my favourite brainchild#it's always about Dorothea#sometimes I wish I NEVER found my way into AC Syndicate#my husband tried to console me#telling me that if it happened again it means that I created something to aspire to#but I don't want to do that#I don't care#I don't want to be an example or anything#I do not want to wear this hat and just suffer afterwards#it's a hat that I didn't ask for and that I do not want#I am just so tired#I know I have no power over this#I can do virtually nothing#I just wish things were different
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Why does my brain chooses THE WORST MOMENT to remember about it?? 😭
@olavored i should have listened to you and not have watched it 🤦
But at least thinking about Sun Wukong helps me calm down :'D👍
#sun wukong save me#sun wukong#save me sun wukong#dreams#insomnia#vent art sort of?#jttw wukong#jttw sun wukong#jttw#journey to the west#thinking of monke always helps 👍#i tried listening to the JTTW audio book but it didn't work#so i just thought about it instead while listening to some meditation stuff#if it happens again i'll put the monkey king staff i made on the side of the bed too#is it silly? yes#but i can trick my brain into thinking i have a weapon close by to SMACK evil spooky creature#IF IT WORKS IT WORKS I JUST NEED TO SLEEP#artists on tumblr#art
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can someone please banish this writer's block for me 😫
it's the worst i've had in such a long time and i've tried to be patient with it but it's been fucking weeks now. i want to write so much but whenever i try they just feel like words on a page. every evening i sit down and rearrange them a little here and there and add some new ones, but they all just feel empty and and shit and my brain feels totally devoid of the creative spark i need to make everything come to life.
i know in large part it's my perfectionism getting in the way, but i don't know how to break through it. i don't know how to feel connected to my writing again. i don't know how to shift this fear of not being good enough that surges up every time i pick up a pen.
it's something that's always been there - but usually it at least comes in waves, or my love of what i'm creating is big enough to muffle it. right now, it's all i can hear. my inspiration has been totally drowned out by it. and i hate it so, so much. the fact that i can't access the one thing that brings me the kind of solace and joy and escapism i can't get anywhere else and is so vital to my soul. that i am blocking myself from engaging in the one thing that makes me feel like me.
i just feel so stuck and so lost and i miss being in that creative headspace so much it’s like a physical pain. it feels like part of me is missing, and it terrifies me that i don't know how to get it back.
#rambling this out in the hopes it might help me shift something#please feel free to ignore#it's incredibly frustrating because i have been SO excited to write these next few chapters of four walls for literal months#and i do have a decent chunk of the next chapter done#and also bits written for later sections too#but i just. i can't get into the headspace#it all just feels so far away and whenever i try and write it's like i'm pushing it even further away#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#i hate this so much#(and don't even get me started on my original stuff or my bang fic 🫠)#also anyone who's reading this and feeling worried about four walls being updated#please don't be#it's 2am and i'm being dramatic#i'll find a way to make it all work again because i love that fic with my whole heart#i just don't know how to shift this right now and i needed somewhere to vent#if anyone has any words of wisdom or writer's block cures please share 🫶#writing stuff#lulu posts
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continually annoyed by how every single post i've seen supporting the notion that "the journal pages in BoB were fakes" just feels like thinly veiled anti material
#i didn't spend this long being constantly shamed for enjoying the messed up fictional possibilities of billford#just for people to turn around and tell me that every single scrap of everything even potentially supporting my fannish interests is Fake#anyways this post Cannot be reblogged i am not interested in this breaching containment nor am i interested in debating#i just wanted to vent out my feelings#if you disagree that's your business#feel free to scroll onwards in peace#nova rambles#but g o d. i've had to unfollow or blacklist or block SO many people because of this.#it's so disheartening.#it just seems like people are Once Again treating characters as real people instead of fictional tools.#like yeah sure project your personal story onto a character as a means to try and heal#but i PROMISE you that someone in the corner shipping billford isn't a threat to that. stanford pines the character does not care#because stanford pines the character has no feelings.#there is No Need to 'debunk' everyone else's fun time like god#which is what this feels like. it feels like some people are trying to go 'HAH told you' and prove that the pages are fake#and i do not like that energy#like i don't care if people have these opinions in the comfort of their own brains#but it feels Weird to be constantly CONSTANTLY posting about it and trying to 'prove' it
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