#I need to remember their names now damn it

[cherrygirlfriend]

(not) lost and found pairing: reader x sistersfiancé!rafe synopsis: when reader has to return her sister's shoes, she sees her fiancé again. this time, in a different state than before. warnings: hurt and comfort, reader stitches up rafe wc: 1.5k

people have been wanting me to write more for them and i've been meaning to i swear!! just haven't gotten around to it lmao but more interesting stuff for this pairing is coming

"jenny, no." you sighed exasperatedly into your phone, "i already told you, no. i'm doing homework."

"but it's technically your fault?"

"how is it my fault that your drunk ass left your damn shoes in my car?" you scoff, and if it wasn't so typical of jenny, you wouldn't be able to believe the nerve she'd have to even say it was your fault that she was too drunk that she couldn't even remember to take her shoes.

"just take them to my place, alright! i'm on a trip right now and i don't need your shit."

"i'm not a damn lost and fo-"

before you could finish your sentence, your sister had hung up on you, and although you tried to call her again, she wouldn't answer. the bitch was ignoring you, as usual.

so, that was how you ended up driving to the house your sister shared with her fiancé while rain was pouring down the sky, your windshield wipers working overtime to make sure you'd get there without slipping off the road.

when you finally parked in front of the house you'd been at only a few days prior, you leaned the back of your head against the headrest, gazing at the lit-up windows of the home. you wanted so badly to not be jealous of the life she had, to not give her the satisfaction of knowing how much you'd always envied her; envied the way your parents had always preferred her, how you'd always felt more like a burden to them than a child.

taking a hit from a vape pen and tossing it to the passenger side of your car, you breathed out the vapor before getting out of the car, slamming the door closed behind you, flimsily holding onto your older sister's louboutins, a petty part of you wanting to accidentally drop them to the ground as you made your way to the door.

but when you reached the door, lifting your hand to knock on the door, you noticed it was slightly ajar. with furrowed brows, you stepped inside, your ears filling with the noise of loud shouts and sounds of glass breaking.

you placed down the heels as quietly as possible, pulling your phone out and dialing 911, holding the phone close to your chest as you walked closer and closer to the source of the noise, prepared to press call.

but what you came across caused your brows to furrow.

jenny's fiancé's back was facing you as he threw a vase on the ground, the smashing noise ringing in your ears as you brought your hands to cover them.

"fucking bitch!"

you didn't know what to do, simply watching the man throw a picture into the ground, the glass of the picture frame blending in with the glass from the vase. what used to be jenny's glamorous living room now looked like it was one of those rooms people go to smash up old electronics and plates, just missing the graffiti on the walls, but in place of them were a few fist-shaped holes.

when rafe picked up a glass of amber liquid to his lips, you figured it'd be your best chance to make your presence known, so you cleared your throat, saying his name in a soft voice. "rafe?"

the man turned to look at you, letting out a soft, dry chuckle as you pursed your lips, looking around at the wrecked room. "what are you doing here? is your sister drunk again? 'cause if she is, she can sleep on the fuckin' lawn for all i care."

"no, she just left her shoes and..." you shook your head, taking a few, wary steps towards the man, pocketing your phone. "what's up? did something happen with...?"

"your sister?" rafe let the now-empty glass fall to the ground, a few drops of whiskey now decorating the pile of glass as it smashed, rafe collapsing onto the ground, leaning his head against the back of the formerly-immaculate white couch, that now seemed to be covered in red wine. "that'd be the understatement of the century."

you noticed a gash on his arm, a rather large piece of glass sticking out, red blood staining his white sweater, "rafe, you're bleeding."

the man chuckled, looking down at the cut and shaking his head, "i didn't even notice. woops."

"let me go get my stuff."

"it's really-"

"shut up." you say sharply, rushing outside to your car.

you were kneeling next to rafe, the man pressing a cloth to where the piece of glass had been lodged in while muttering something under his breath while you poured disinfectant onto another cloth. "this is gonna sting, but if you're gonna be a baby about it, i'm gonna let you bleed out."

rafe let out a small, nearly inaudible chuckle and the ends of your lips twitched slightly upwards, "i'm pretty sure i'm not gonna feel it with how much whiskey-"

his sentence was interrupted by a loud hiss he let out when you took away the cloth he'd been holding against his arm, starting to press the one with disinfectant against the wound, your lips curving into a proper smile.

"is my pain funny to you?"

"no." you looked at rafe to see a small smile on his lips, "it turns me on."

rafe let out a guffaw at your statement, shaking his head as you began putting monofilament thread onto the curved needle, the man's brows furrowing as he watches. "how do you even know how to do all this?"

"you don't know?" you let out a chuckle, "of course, why would i assume my dear sister ever speaks about anything other than herself. i'm studying to be a doctor."

"i didn't know that." rafe watched as you brought the needle to his wound, "have you done stitches before?"

"on fake skin." you shrug, starting to stitch up his wound, "so, why did you do all this? you're lucky that thing didn't lodge any deeper."

"i could've just gone to an actual hospital."

"yeah, but wouldn't you rather give your future sister-in-law some practice?" you said, not noticing the way rafe was gazing at you, your tongue peeking out, your brows furrowed in a way that caused small wrinkles to appear on your forehead. "spill."

rafe let out an exasperated sigh, looking away from you, instead focusing on all the broken glass on the ground. he'd have to figure out a way to fix it before jenny got home.

"your sister's cheating on me."

a small oh left your lips as you continued.

"i saw texts on her phone before she left. she told me she was going on a work trip for the law firm she's interning with but she's currently at some hotel with the guy she's seeing."

"she... she always told me she was going out with you, at least once a week, but i'm starting to realize it's not true, is it?"

you chewed on your lower lip as you continued stitching the wound, letting out a soft, quiet, "i'm sorry, rafe. i see her like, once a year on christmas."

rafe nodded his head slightly, "lucky you." the man chuckled dryly, "it all just... made me feel like i'm not enough. that no matter what, the people around me are gonna keep betraying me. that i can never trust anyone."

you let out a soft, humorless chuckle. "i know how that feels."

"you do?" rafe looked down at you, as you finished tying the end of his suture, cutting the thread.

you sat up straight, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you started packing away your stuff. "everyone's always preferred jenny over me. everyone's always picked her over me. my parents always preferred her. every guy i liked always thought she was prettier. all my friends always thought she was cooler." you chew on your lower lip, your throat starting to hurt from the emotion you were trying to hold back, avoiding his gaze, "my entire life, i spent living in her shadow. my entire life i've been 'jenny's sister' and nothing else."

"that can't be true."

"you know what my parents' reaction was when i got into med school?" you chuckled dryly, your eyes turning glassy as you finally looked to rafe, "'that's great sweetie. anyway, did you hear that jenny got engaged? her ring is so gorgeous. oh, and she's doing so well in law school!'" you mimicked your mother's voice, letting out a sigh. "and jenny thrives from it. she's always loved that she's better than me. even as kids, she did everything she could to one-up me."

"she's not." rafe took your shaking hand in his, enveloping it in his larger one, "you just stitched up a half-stranger when you could've just left when you saw me destroying shit. your sister would never do something that selfless. i don't even think she has a selfless bone in her body."

"you're starting to sound like me." you let out a chuckle, shaking your head, "how come you're engaged to her, then?"

"maybe i don't have any either." rafe shrugs, "but i'm not letting her get away with this. i'm not someone to be messed with."

"that sounds ominous."

"you have no idea." he smiles, squeezing your hand.

[1920sladydectective]

Best Friend's Mother Ch.6 (Finale) 6.8K MDNI 18+

Here she bloody is, my darlings!

All done, finally, giving me room to write even more Ambessa stuff. Next stop Professor Medarda!

That being said, I've loved writing this story and feel so honoured by the reception it has received. Thank you especially to @shinyshayminflower for the initial prompt, @uselessbard1031 for the endless support and @chocolate-quotes for the stunning cover art which I adoreddddddddddd.

Love you all, let me know what you think!

Warnings: Degradation, Name Calling, Overstimulation kinda? Lots of alcohol idk I'm British and this is set at Christmas okay.

Chapter 6:

You’d failed at the first hurdle, the first second, the truest and largest fuck up possible of a New Year’s resolution. Bubbles fizzed in your blood, common sense popping like a thousand little sparks. 

She tasted good, like whisky and regret and those tiny chocolate puddings on the trays at the party. The party you couldn’t quite remember or reconcile, the party that faded to blurring noise as she consumed you. 

Ambessa’s mind was screaming at her. This was not how she’d intended the evening to go. Rather the opposite. She was going to kiss one of Cassandra’s uptight friends, unwind them a bit and then take her drunken gaggle of children home. 

Instead she’d been ripped to shreds by her daughter and was now eating the very forbidden (but no longer?) fruit she had tried to avoid. 

You pulled away merely to breathe, but it was enough, like a shock of cold water. Tears, hot and angry sprung into your eyes almost immediately. 

“What was that?” You snarled, gulping in air. 

“I-“ Ambessa coughed slightly, “A mistake,” 

You scoffed, shoving her, “You can say that again,” 

“No,” She backtracked, muddled, “I just meant-“ 

“Do me a favour and fuck off, okay?” You wiped your mouth viciously with your sleeve, panic heavy in your heart as you rushed past her without another word. Drunk and distressed, you made your way into a random corner and stayed there. 

You’d tell Mel in the morning, you told yourself with trembling hands, but right now it would be too much. 

Ambessa was having the most tiring evening ever. Nothing was happening in the right order, as if she’d been given the smaller part of every wishbone in existence.Her mouth was a villain, intent on ruining everything. Glancing in the reflection of one of Cassandra’s crystalline statutes, she saw her massacred face, red smudges everywhere. 

“Well,” Cassandra Kiramman’s smug voice rang out, “That was a damn sight better than seeing you kiss my child like last year,” 

Muscled shoulders seized, wide golden eyes meeting cool grey ones, “Lovely party,”

“I think that’s the first time in twenty years you’ve said that,” She snorted, “I needn’t lecture you about how stupid that was, we both remember what happened with Maddie,”

“She isn’t Maddie,”

“Evidently,” A click of teeth, an outstretched hand holding cloth “I’ll see you on the 14th, I can take your money and your secrets then,” 

Ambessa sighed, wiping her face of lipstick and taking a regrouping breath. There was little to do but sober up and figure out a battle plan. Divide her stupidity and hopefully conquer her love. Or some other battle analogy she was too pissed to think of. “Thank you,”

“There’s no need for that,” She smiled, rolling her eyes at her friend, “You’re hosting the women’s luncheon in February,” 

Fuck.

You were sitting in a fancy taxi, a snoozing Mel on your shoulder as Kino rambled about the artwork in Caitlyn’s house. You didn’t care about the fact that the frames were worth as much as the art, or that some of them had taken years to find. You didn’t care about anything at all really, save the brooding woman in front of you. She seemed so cold, so distant, and you found that it did not suit her. You’d never be rid of her, that understanding had set in as you stumbled out of the car and into the front porch. She was like Japanese knotweed, strong and thriving and made to rot the very foundations of life. Here you were, a three time offender of succumbing to her, despite your morals and your strength and your hatred. 

Deft fingers attempted to grab your wrist as Kino and Mel waltzed arm in arm up the staircase, but her hold found nothing but air. A snap, a growl, something animalistic as you trailed quickly after your friends, the third of the good little wolves and nothing more. 

Sleep was easy due to alcohol, though all it really did was lock you in dreams. Tender kisses and bitter words fighting for the spotlight, leaving your mind a flashing drunken strobe. Sweaty, distressed turning and rolling until dawn beckoned and you lay shivering in the fetal position. No amount of fancy heating systems could rid your bones of the chill, heavy limbs freezing you in place. 

It took several hours and a minor pity party to make it into a different pair of less sweaty pyjamas, another hour to make it downstairs and fifteen seconds for your hopes of sorting this out as soon as possible to be crushed. 

A series of texts from Mel. Mel and Kino had left twenty minutes ago, a sibling breakfast tradition you had been omitted from due to your lack of appearance. Fuck. Just her, somewhere, lurking. 

The kitchen was safe, paprika crisps settling your stomach as you brewed some longjing tea. A plan was formed, tell Mel, pack your shit and stay with your cousin until the housework finished later this week. It was solid, grounding and allowed you to get the fuck out of this weird fantasy land. Nothing felt tangible here, all consequences smashing down as soon as the spell of the upper class echelons was shattered by travelling 20 miles north. You holed yourself up in one of the spare sitting rooms, avoiding where she thought you’d be in favour of unfamiliar cream sofas and animal artwork. 

It wasn’t enough. 

Tentative footsteps, her arrival heralded by Mina, like a slow marching procession. There was no escape. One way in, one way out. The oak door clicked shut softly. You did not, would not, give her the satisfaction of looking up. 

Your name on her lips, measured and calm, as the sofa to your right dipped with her body weight. A loud clunk, your gaze meeting a bottle of artisan Olive Oil. 

“Olive branch?” She muttered, “We were out of breadsticks,” 

You looked at it, still not her, nose twitching. Her charm, though flavoured now with hesitancy, was viscous and wrong as it lapped at your skin. “That implies there’s a conversation to be had here, and there isn’t,”

“Look at me,” Soft but impatient. 

Your eyeline did not move. Her arrogance astounded you.

“I was thinking-”

“No, Mrs Medarda,” You snapped, formality and fury, making the cat jump, “There is nothing you can say, I am going to tell Mel and then I’m going to get away from you, as fast as possible,” 

“A tad dramatic,” Cryptic, passive smile, “Mel knows, darling,” 

“What?” This had you meeting her gaze, “You told her?”

“Not yet,” A sniff, “Not exactly,” 

“Well then she doesn’t fucking know, you twat,” 

Ambessa’s lips upturned slightly, “She doesn’t know the specifics, but she knows my motivations,”

“Motivations?” You scoffed, “Your untameable pride and sex drive you mean?”

Ambessa, despite having spent most of the night replaying every interaction you had ever shared under the rosy haze of infatuation, had yet to find a way to piece together her confession. Part of her wanted to wax lyrical, a modern day poet speaking in nothing but nonsense and flowers. But your impatience, borne of hurt and exhaustion, hung heavy above her. She was the one fearing the guillotine’s blade now, she should have learned from history that the revolution always comes in the end. And here it was, the revolt of her own mutinous heart. 

“Well?” Her silence unsettled you, those carved brows scrunched inwards, as you fought a mounting urge to backhand her. 

“Not quite that,” She muttered, “Wouldn’t have bothered with the olive oil if it was just sex, dear,” 

Your eyes rolled, pushing off of the sofa, body fleeing before your blood curdled in your veins. 

She grabbed your arm, pulling you back down with a thud, “Stop I-” gasped air, “I’m trying to be honest here,”

“You’re speaking like a Dickens novel and I’m supposed to take you seriously? Three Ghosts come and slap you in the face? Or some New Year’s resolution, is it?” You yank your hand back, skin fizzing and yearning for the calloused warmth to return. 

“Yes, actually,” 

“What was your Christmas past like then?”

“Troubled,” She quipped, rolling her eyes at you, “It is a resolution, one I indeed to stick to,”

A laugh, grating against your throat, “Didn’t take you for the type, you don’t seem in a rush to change anything about your life,” 

“Stop being childish and listen,” She snapped. 

“You have two minutes,” You spat, “And then I’m leaving,”

“Two minutes isn’t even enough time to boil an egg,” 

“Ambessa,”

Muscles tensed. Fine. Fucking Hell. “I’ve been bad to you,” There, well done Ambessa, a start. Accountability, the sharp blade you must crush within your palm. 

Tart and hard, an unripe cherry between your teeth, shock bloomed. There was nothing particularly reassuring about her words, but you jumped all the same. 

“I abused your kindness and took advantage of you,” How lovely and romantic, the muted whites of the room shifting to morose greys. 

“Old news, cemented about nine kisses ago,”

“I know that,” It was sharper than she’d intended, a sigh rattling out, “I know,”

“If you know, why are we having this conversation?” You grabbed the olive oil, waving it about, “What kind of weak, spindly branch is this?”

“You’re so pedantic, must you have everything spelled out for you?!” She growled, tenderness foreign on her tongue, “The I’m in love with you kind,” 

A spell, like a muffling blanket of snow, enveloped the room. Such a tender, sweet truth, with all the certainty and promise of the apple of Eden. Was she the snake or Eve, you could hardly tell. You sat, in stasis, as she swallowed. 

FIve minutes. Ten. A brutal, endless fifteen. 

“Don’t be cruel,” Acid burned in your mouth, tears smarting your eyes, “Don’t wave that about,”

Snip. Your words cutting Ambessa’s newly found heartstrings, “I wouldn’t,”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“No,” It was firm.

“And that’s what Mel knows?” You asked, eyes narrow. You didn’t believe her, couldn’t, wouldn’t. Really, really shouldn’t. 

“She insisted upon it, screamed at me in the Kiramman’s bathroom,” 

“Wait,” Awe bubbled between your ribs, “Last night?”

A begrudging nod, that soft half smile that made you melt. She loved your lip twitches of surprise, your mouth turning over words you couldn’t vocalise. 

“Why?”

“She sort of stumbled into it, as did I,” A pause as she pulled a red wine bottle and glasses from seemingly nowhere, “Do you mind?”

“Yes, I do,” You snarked, flicking the cork onto the floor, “But by all means, don’t let that stop you,” 

“I won’t,”

You took the glass she offered all the same, settling into the sofa with renewed confidence, petulant hands spilling drops of burgundy onto the cream sofa. “Stumbled, you said?”

Ambessa crossed her legs, Malbec coating her tongue, “She was..frustrated that I had not distanced myself enough from you,”

“I noticed a distinct difference,”

“That’s what I said,”

“Not taking your side,” You swished your hand for her to continue. 

“She said I was selfish and many other things, another character assassination,” Heavy chug, “But she wanted a reason, a cause,”

“She always does,” Anticipation was building now, possible half truths and sweet words lingering just out of reach, “It’s the only reason she forgave me, because of how I felt,”

Ambessa nodded, eyes distant, “Did you know I find it harder to sleep now?”

What? You were hungover and hair of the expensive vintage dog was not quite cutting it.  Speak plainly you maddening cow, your mind cried. Instead, “Pardon?”

“I miss the weight of you on my chest, and the coldness of your toes on my calves,” She muttered, memory easier than big declarations, “It’s what I thought of when Mel asked me to prove it, to prove it was..” 

Monster. Cannibal. Villain. She was gnawing at your bones, words like ambrosia to all the battered, tired shades of you that sat before her. You missed that too, had mourned it like so many other little, luxurious sweetnesses. 

“That’s still a physical desire,” You rationalised, lips stained with wine. 

A grunt, “Do you need more?”

A nod. Several. Only confirmational overkill would do here. 

“I-” Her hand twitched, “find myself trying to force an affinity for apple tea,”

“You hate it,”

“But it tastes of you,” She said, “Sometimes it’s all I can do to stave off the craving,”

“So you miss my mouth? Physical.” 

Ambessa pouted, heavy hand overpouring another glass, “What do you want from me? I’ve already said it,”

You laughed, in spite of it all, “I want to know what you’re feeling, not what you miss or crave or imagine,”

It seemed to rent her asunder, her feelings etched in memories, stuck far away from words. Love was one, but it was vulnerable and rough against her tongue. It had only come out via happenstance, sleep deprivation and growing panic. Affection hung in the background, and devotion sat like oil on her smooth skin. How was she to wield them? A great axe pulling her into herself, straining underdeveloped muscles. 

“It’s a bit like quicksand,” Her tone was unsteady, “It’s eating me whole,”

“What is?”

 “Love,” She snarled, as if it was obvious, eyes ever so slightly glazed. 

“The more you fight, the more you sink?”

She nodded, a heady relief in your understanding, light at the end of her confusing tunnel, “Exactly that,” 

You downed your glass, “Then I’ll throw you a stick, help you out,” a dismissive sniff, “I hate you,”

“No you don’t,” No hesitation, “You fell before I did, Sweet Girl,” 

“And look where that got me,” 

“But we’re in it together now,”

“There is no together, Ambessa,” You were sinking, she would not be proven right, “Your love is as dangerous as your indifference, wolves do not cradle their prey tenderly,”

“You aren’t prey,” It was a cry, angry and indignant, as her hands found yours. 

“Then why am I covered in your bitemarks?” 

She grumbled, “I think we’ve used the full extent of this metaphor, darling,” 

“Metaphors, jibs, cold truths, however you spin it, you are an emotionally immature mess,”

“Mel called me an emotionally impotent bitch,” She said, interlocking her warm hands with your trembling ones, “You were kinder about it,” 

“I’m always kinder about everything,” You replied, tightening your grip.

“It’s one of the things I love about you,” 

“Stop saying that!” 

“What?” She smiled, something giving way inside her, “Love? That I love you?”

“I-Yes,” You were chest deep now, thick wet sand eating you, “I don’t know what to do with that, with you,” 

Ambessa sat, rhythmically stroking your knuckles, as her head leaned closer to yours, “You let me earn you, my darling,”

Thick sludge, stealing your breath away now, “Earn me?” 

“Will you let me try?” Her voice was molasses now, pushing you down into the very bottom of the pit, her brain finally catching up with her body, “Words fuelled by action?” 

“L-like date me? And woo me?” Your eyes were fluttering, heart a schism of fear and fancy. 

She hummed in confirmation, free hand tucking some of your glitter crusted hair behind your ear, gaze soft. 

“Doesn’t seem very characteristic, Ambessa,” 

“Yes, well,” A humorous sigh, “You’ve clearly made me sick, some kind of spell or curse,”

You smacked her arm, a nonsensical laugh slipping out. She was ridiculous and stupid and images of her sending you flowers or taking you mini golfing came into your mind unbidden. 

“Is that a yes, my darling?”

“What does Mel think?”

“I think you should ask her,” Ambessa’s voice wrapped around you, “Regardless of this, I will not monopolise on your relationship with her,”

“I think you’re suffering from head injury,” She was perfect, she was handing you your dreams on a silver platter, so why couldn’t you take it? “I think I need some time,”

She nodded, ignoring the dark growl in her chest, “There’s no timeline,” Actually, the timeline was she wanted to be between your legs right now, but it seemed the clocks were confused. 

With an odd, robotic stroke to her cheek, you stumbled out of the room and back up the stairs. Ignoring your door, you curled into Mel’s room, allowing yourself to be engulfed by frilly bed sheets. She’d find you later and you could have a chat. 

Find you she did, snoring and pale in her bed, with wine stained lips and tear stained cheeks. Hungover limbs crawled around you, kissing your forehead. 

“Babe!” It was a happy shout, as you flinched awake. 

“That was not the only way to do that,” 

“It’s the way I chose,”

The conversation that transpired was as follows. You bared your snotty, shattered soul and called her mother all the cruel, loving things you could think of and she nodded sagely whilst stroking your hair. She then decided to take her mother’s side, and say that you should definitely pursue a relationship if you loved her, as if it was that simple. You were now battering her shoulder with a candy cane shaped cushion. 

“Hitting me isn’t going to change my answer,”

“It’s not normal to tell your friend to date your mother,” You cried, “The only sane person in this family is Kino,”

“Really?”

A memory of him drizzling a chicken wing with melted chocolate the night before returned, “Christ, okay you’re all nuts!” 

“You still haven’t told me what you want,” Mel murmured, taking the candy cane from your grasp, “Just that she’s evil and you feel weak when she smiles, which honestly urgh,” 

Uncertain, jittering hands tug at a strand of hair, “I don’t think I know,”

Silence, her hand on your shoulder, as you sorted through the bombed out craters in your mind. Each kiss, fight, and confession had made its mark and the rubble was hard to decipher. 

“I think I want to exist a bit, before I commit to anything,” 

“You have been through a lot, babe,” Mel was so gentle, you adored her more than she could ever ever know, “Maybe just be you? Mum’ll wait,”

“Will she?” That was your hope and your fear. 

“She’ll have to if she’s serious, and if she doesn’t then fuck her, you can find another fish, preferably one I’m not related to,” 

“I love you,”

“Damn right,” She kissed your head, “Now can we watch TV or something, my head hurts,”

Three days passed, and she was surprisingly normal. There was no forced affection or ultimatums, just the same smile; considerate and mischievous. You were grateful, the space confirming what you’d said to Mel. You needed to be you, away from the magic and madness of this house, and only then would you really know. 

When you told her as much, firelight flickering in the library on your last evening, she let out a long sigh. The grating, dull pain in her heart intensified, but with it so did her plan.

The last dinner felt stupidly biblical, final and massive, as though you may never return. A veritable feast, overflowing plates and glasses, as even Rictus joined you for the meal. Kino was a jester of epic proportions, breaking more than one glass in his pursuit of a punchline. Ambessa sat, quiet but merry, against the carved mahogany chair of the dining room. Mel, as ever, was the master of pictures. You dreaded the thought of the costs to develop that much film, though you placed bunny ears behind Kino’s head as you grinned into the flash all the same. Rictus, though, was the real diamond in the rough of the evening. Strong and well mannered, with your exact sense of humour. He was quiet and yet seemed to fill every silence that threatened to hurt you. You felt sorry to have overlooked him in a way, leaning a heavy head against his shoulder. 

“I’m going to miss you,”

“Miss my endless free labours?” He joked, a gruff voice above your ear. 

“Miss your sanity,” You said, “Miss your friendship,”

“Well, I’m only ever a phone call away,” He replied, “Us furniture have to stick together,” 

You laughed, bright and true, as he dolloped another mountain of tiramisu onto your plate. 

Slowly, but surely, you all retired to bed, a holiday well spent and a heavy desire to return to normal weighing in the air.

The next morning, as he bundled your endless possessions into Mel’s boot, Rictus called you over. 

“Something the matter?”

“Kid,” A sternness, “You’re going to be alright?”

You snorted, “I told you I’d keep in touch, where’s this come from? Delirious from all of Mel’s handbags and shoes?”

“I love Ambessa Medarda very much,” He said out of nowhere, hand stroking your arm, “Don’t let her wants eclipse yours,”

“What?” What the fuck was he on about? 

“Speak of the devil, and she appears,” He muttered, stepping away without a further word. Bastard. 

Ambessa squeezed Mel with all her might, an acceptance blossoming in a relationship filled with shards of glass and broken promises. “Look after yourself, work hard,”

“Party harder,” Mel muttered, “I know Mum, I’ll see you at Easter,”

She climbed into the preheated Land Rover, just as Rictus wandered back into the Manor with a shout and a wave. Kino had said goodbye over breakfast, nearly breaking a rib, and so it was just her.

The goodbye was stilted, her large hand stroking your hair as she took an audible sniff. It made you giggle wetly, swallowing down the impulse to just collapse into her and let yourself be consumed. You first, her later. That was probably what Rictus had meant, god your brain was slow today.

“Thanks for a lovely Christmas, and everything in between, well most things,” You mumbled, watery smile. 

“You’re more than welcome, Sweet Girl,” 

“I-I’ll be in touch, when I can,” Her hand was warm in yours, keeping you anchored in place. 

“IF you can, Dear,” She corrected, voice caring “I expect you to take this seriously,” 

A scoff, as you nodded and pursed your lips. Everyone was treating you like you were suddenly going to go back on your plan and jump her bones against the front door. It was a valid concern, even you hadn’t decided completely if you would or not.

“See you soon,” She said, a throwaway comment, as you let go and climbed into Mel’s car. 

Several beats. Your heart full and empty, a weird schrodinger’s joke. A fern tree smell from the little car freshener. 

“Well that was agonising to watch,” Mel quipped, shooting her mum a wave and pulling out of the driveway. Manicured nails flicked on a random playlist, 80s rock heavy, as you stared out at the frosty scenery. 

The flowers started a week after you had gotten back to Edinburgh. Always different, always perfectly sized for your light green vase and never overwhelming. It was a constant sign of her presence, without the stifling need to be responded to. There was never a note, beyond her initials, and that made each delivery all the sweeter. Sometimes other things would come with them too, after a long deadline or big presentation, there would be wine or a new book. It was a more considerate type of materialism, reminiscent of sand castle buckets and chiffon dresses, as glimmering parts of your old self emerged from the explosion of Her. 

Winter socials, dancing around the house in pyjamas singing ABBA with Mel as the world began to thaw.

Valentine’s Day arrived, and with it a little bouquet of roses and a takeaway voucher. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, Ambessa x

                               You too, Sweet Girl x

It was your first point of contact, and you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. She was slowly but surely winning you over from afar, earning you as she’d said and this new, fresh, old version of yourself was happy to let her encroach a bit on No Man’s Land. Plus, this burrito was one of the best things you’d eaten in ages.

Ambessa was smiling widely at her phone, heart a jackhammer. She felt foolish, any acknowledgment sending her into a tailspin, but that soft kiss at the end of a text was enough to solidify her already immense resolve. You were hers, and she was yours, however long she had to wait.

You were granted the funding you needed, your academic success propelling you into spring with tired and happy limbs. Eleven weeks of flowers, a few scattered texts and one slightly drunken nude later, Mel was rambling at the dinner table about Easter plans. 

“Dad’s not back till the last week,” You replied around a very hot mouthful of chicken parm, “Presumed I’d spend the rest of the time with you,”

Mel’s eyes glistened, shit eating grin on her glossed lips, “Did you now?”

“Oh come off it,” You snapped, “Ambessa already offered anyway,” 

“She has? How nice of her,” Excitement fizzed in her, battling with a bit of sadness at losing her friend’s full attention, “And how is that? Calla lilies this week, I noticed,” 

“Why’s that matter?”

“They mean beauty,” 

“They have meanings?” Tomato sauce stained your grey joggers, you didn’t care, “What about the others?” 

She snorted, “You thought they were just random?”

“I-I” A gulp, “Well, fuck I don’t know I just thought they were pretty,” 

Her laughter grated at you, google your true friend in the matter, as you scanned through each message Ambessa had supposedly sent. 

Bluebells first - Humility. Ironic start. 

Honeysuckle - Bonds of Love

Yellow Tulips - Sunshine in a smile - your heart seized. 

Peony - Bashful - not a word you’d really associate with her. 

White Hyacinth - Loveliness - Hers or your own? Both, you decided. Both. 

Edelweiss - Devotion - a dizzy wave of warmth over your skin. 

Red Roses - I Love You - apt for Valentine’s day. 

Chamomile - Patience in adversity. How brave she was, how ridiculous.

Forget-Me-Nots - True Love Memories - Her stained grin, garlic bread in hand came to mind. 

Red Camellias - You’re a flame in my heart - This coincided directly with her receiving a picture of you in a lacy red bra and thong, courtesy of cheap pints in your favourite pub, and an uncharged vibrator. 

Calla Lillies - Beauty. 

Your chicken parm was cold now, your mouth hanging open, as your eyes burned slightly. 

“You back with me, babe?” 

“This is so stupid,” You spluttered into cold marinara sauce, “She’s so stupid,”

“Love makes a fool of us all,” Mel said wisely. 

“Is that why you, Viktor and Jayce were curled up last night? I saw you holding hands,” 

“Be quiet!” She whined, “Die,”

“Don’t throw stones, Mel,” You mocked, “You’re looking awful glassy right now,” 

You would stay for Easter then, you both agreed over chocolate mousse, as you sent a thumbs up to Ambessa’s invitation. 

Ambessa, glasses balancing on her nose as she read a novel, scanned the text. Once. Twice. An exuberant third time. Rictus ended up battered with requests for a clear and ornate Easter menu, despite the fact that the holiday was over six weeks away and not at all favoured by the Medarda family. Mina had taken to nibbling her phone but only ever when you texted, and Ambessa was beginning to take it personally.

Your spring deadlines came and went, as April and its gentle rest bite from academia beckoned. The journey was painfully familiar to you now, as was the warm and rough rock sitting in your stomach. You felt you again, which was terrifying as it finally gave some space for her. Something you had come to want so desperately it made your dreams turbulent and your hands shaky. She still had some work to do, but as you flicked through your sparse text exchanges you couldn’t fight the smitten smile. 

You loved Ambessa Medarda, and that was okay now. For both of you. 

Ambessa had been waiting for three hours by the door like an overexcited dog. Several times Rictus had come to ask her questions or show her things, and each time she was transfixed on the long driveway.

“Mel said they wouldn’t be here before 2,” He said, smirk on his lips. 

“She’s never reliable,” 

“She is literally compulsively on time,” 

“Rictus, do I pay you for these kinds of conversations?”

“No, but you probably should, I was going to bring it up during my next performance review,” 

“Ah yes, 31st of April, wasn’t it?”

He laughed, wandering back towards the tower of hand painted easter eggs he was tending to.

2pm on the dot you pulled up by the house, clambering to stretch your legs. As the door opened Mel ran to it, kissing her Mum’s cheek and shooting past her to get to the toilet. Whether intentional or serendipity, Mel had given you the perfect opening to stare like a lovesick fool at her mother. 

“Ambessa,” Her name a cry of joy.

“Sweet Girl,” She ignored the thickness in her throat, eyes glimmering at seeing your face again. 

“T-Thanks for the flowers,” Unsure hands, “And the messages they sent,”

She smiled, stepping forward and squeezing your arm. “Always, as long as you enjoy them,” 

“You’ve been just what I needed,” Affection swelled in your chest, “Present but distant,”

“Like a ghoul?” 

You giggled, “Exactly that,”

“You keep comparing me to spirits and ghosts,”

“I actually compared you to Scrooge, not the ghosts themselves,” 

She rolled her eyes, snorting, “You must always be right, mustn’t you?”

“Ambessa,” You repeated, gentiler now. 

She hummed in question, gaze meeting yours. 

“I think I’m ready to try now,” A sharp inhale, “If you are?”

“Well,” Her crimson lips part into a dazzling smile, “That makes me very ha-”

“Princess!!” Kino, dressed in plaid pyjamas, shouted as he ran to engulf you in a hug, “You’re here!”

“Bastard child,” Ambessa grunted under her breath, watching as you cuddled her son and made faces at her over his shoulder. 

“Later,” You mouthed, before focusing on Kino, “Hello there, Peacock Prince,”

She wandered back inside with a murderous expression, greeted by Mel halfway through a bag of Quavers, “Kino cockblock you?”

“Mel, I fund your lifestyle,” Ambessa snapped, “Do not antagonise me,”

“That’s a yes,” Her crunchy words said, offering her a cheesy grin. 

It took until after dinner that evening for you to get a moment alone together again, your spot in the library occupied as you stared across at her. Kino was out with another lady friend and Mel had common sense, so the air that crackled around you would not be interrupted. It was a good thing too, you’d spent the whole time eating your spaghetti trying to make yourself look alluring. Until Mel had pinched you under the table. 

“So,” You started, chest tight. 

“So,” She repeated, stroking Mina, “You said you were ready?”

“Yes,” Your decision was certain now, having spent some time back in her presence. You wanted it all, as soon as you could get it. Seemed you were as damned as she was. The devil on your own shoulder.

“We can take it slowly, Sweet girl,” She said, leaning forward, “There’s no rush,”

Your blood was thick and hot, mind whirling, “What if I want to rush?”

Ambessa grinned, chucking Mina away and with one sharp tug moving you onto her large thighs, “Then I’d say, where would you like to start?”

She was solid and seductive and all the things you’d avoided in your time finding yourself. She was as sticky and tempting as always, though her love tempered the fire now. Things were never done by half, and you’d fooled yourself when you planned to build a relationship step by step. Ambessa had laid the foundations, floral and firm, so now you wanted to chuck brick and cement together as fast as you could. 

“This maybe?” You half slurred in anticipation, hungry lips meeting hers. 

Ambessa was, for once, incredibly surprised. You were devouring her, with no restraint, as if no time had passed at all. But you were different now, she could sense it. Stronger, more certain of your place, your needs and wishes. It suited you, like an attractive new coat. Her hands were roaming about, searching for the best place to land, each patch of skin more perfect than the last. 

“Are you sure?” She murmured against smudged lips, holding your chin in place to stop your desperate advance, “I don’t want to push you away again,”

You melted, kissing her palm, “You won’t,” it was breathless, “I promise,”

“I’ll only do this if I get to take you out tomorrow, a nice long day together,” Her honeyed voice muttered, though one hand was already making its way under your shirt. 

“So a win-win?” 

Calloused fingers grazed your nipple, kissing your neck as she nodded into it. 

“Not sure I could ask for a better Easter,” You joked breathlessly, body twitching into her touch. 

“That’s why you’re not going to ask for it,” Her voice was dark, a switch flipped, “You’re going to beg,” 

Welcome back Ambessa Medarda, you’ve been sorely missed. I hope you fuck my brains out now. “Please?” You quipped. 

A sharp pinch to your nipple, a low growl, “Do you think I’m joking, girl?”

You ached for her, mind fracturing, as an earnest apology ripped from your throat. Your pleading was real now, her wet kisses maddening. 

Ambessa felt hungry, ravenous in fact, and you had offered yourself like a perfect little dessert. How kind. How naive. It took her a few minutes of pawing at you for all of your clothes to be left on the floor, goosebumps prickling your skin as you rubbed yourself against her thigh. This was perfection, your thoughts slush as she whispered filth in your ear. 

“More,” You whined, the pull on your chest not harsh enough. 

She twisted until it burnt, making you jolt, as her wet tongue soothed the ache, “That enough pain for you? So desperate for it,” 

“I-I”

“Is that why you sent me those filthy pictures?” Her thumb, slick with you, danced in circles across your clit, “Wanting to show yourself off, hmm? A slut in red lace?”

“Ambessa,” You gasped. 

“You wanted to drive me mad,” A suck to a sore nipple, “Wanted to corrupt me, after I tried so hard to stay away,” 

“It was an accident,” You slurred, stomach tensing as you thrust in rhythm with her touching. 

“An accident?” She scoffed, nuzzling against your throat, “That’s what you call spreading yourself for me on camera?” 

You were so close, her words like gasoline as you whimpered a confused apology, your mind desperate to keep feeling good. 

“Is this an accident too, Sweet girl?”

“Wha-” Your eyes rolled, cunt gushing as your first orgasm slammed into you like a sledgehammer. 

She slipped you off her lap, sliding out from under you to the ground, as your bare skin touched the cool red leather chair. She knelt, a devious grin on her lips, between your trembling legs as she watched a soft slickness drip down your thighs.

“You’ve made a mess,” She said, disapproving pout on her face, “Say you’re sorry,”

“S-sorry, Ambessa,” You mumbled, eyes glassy. 

“Good girl,” She stroked your thighs, a tight grip on them, tiny crescent moons from her nails, “It’s okay, I’m here to tidy you up,”

She had always been skilled, playing you like an instrument, but as her hot tongue hit your folds you found yourself blank, empty and unsure if you would ever feel anything other than raw, molten pleasure again. Teasing kitten licks lapped up your juices, her golden eyes controlling your every move, as you went limp against the chair. It smelt of her. Everything in this room did. Your body twitched again. 

Her tongue drew another two orgasms from your needy body, sweaty hair sticking to your forehead as you tugged at her salt and pepper curls. 

At some point you ended up flat on the floor against her fancy Persian rug, legs spread as she sat on your face. She was soaked, your cheeks wet as you ate mindlessly. Her orgasms were like nectar as she came apart above you, stern voice turning airy and dazed.

“Just like t-that,” She panted, fucking herself on your tongue.

Your hummed agreement hit her swollen clit, her tongue lolling out her mouth as an animalistic grunt filled the room. 

You were in a bed now. How had that happened? 

“Still with me, little one?” She teased, stroking your hair as she loomed above with a long, hard strap-on. 

“That looks nice,” You babbled, chest rapidly rising and falling. 

“Would you like it?”

A nod. 

“Ask nicely then, Sweet girl,” 

“Pleasepleaseplease,” You said, sweet as sugar, spreading yourself just as you had in those pictures. 

Ambessa Medara was a strong woman. It was her defining feature in fact. Iron will and firm muscle, she prided herself on being a fortress. Here, however, with a whimpering slut beneath her, her resolve shattered like china against marble. You were stuffed before she’d processed the last plea, a surprised gurgle as she worked to destroy you. 

Again, and again and again. She fucked that sweet spot in you with relentless efficiency, as cool leather rubbed against your clit in time with her thrusts. You’d long since given up on the idea of being quiet, mewling gasps and shouts of her name leaving you hoarse with fluttering eyes.

“Cum for me,” It was a sudden command, voice harsh and high, as she fell apart with a vicious thrust. 

You obeyed, the coil in you snapping again, as her sweat covered skin collided with yours. 

You stayed like that, hearts beating in time, as lust faded to contentment and exhaustion. Her slurred praise soothed your battered body as a cold flannel wiped away the stickiness that lingered everywhere. 

There was little else to be said that night, words of love and happiness pouring from you both under your shared silken sheets. 

She loved you. 

You loved her. 

How perfect. 

Slightly lopsided, with a turtleneck to hide the smattering of bruises across your skin, you made your way to the breakfast table. You’d agreed with Ambessa to tell Kino this morning before your date, the only thing still truly weighing on her out of the way in order for you to have the perfect day together. 

He was currently assembling a tower of waffles and bacon, as Mel systematically pushed it over. Rictus stood making more construction materials at the hob, sharing a grin with Mel. 

Ambessa, seeing you enter, coughed loudly to silence the squabbling. 

You wandered over nervously, resting beside her. 

“I’d just like to make everyone aware of something,” She started slowly. 

“Someone dead?” Kino muttered, staring at you. 

“No,” She held her hand up to silence him, “Nobody’s died,”

“Someone pregnant?” Mel asked. The shit stirrer. 

“No I-” Ambessa glared at her, taking a deep breath her hand gravitated towards your shoulder,“I wanted to let you know that we've decided to pursue a romantic relationship,”

“Oh,” Kino’s body tensed, “And when did you make this choice?”

“Last night,” You replied hesitantly, “Why?”

“Fuck,” He groaned to himself, a gruff laugh heard from the hob. 

“I do believe we said one thousand even,” Rictus mocked, flipping a waffle onto the boy’s plate. 

“You couldn’t have waited another twelve hours,” He grumbled, fishing for his wallet in his coat. 

“What is happening right now?” Ambessa said, voice stern. 

“I bet yesterday,” Rictus said as if it were obvious, “Wolf pup here bet today, thought you’d need a little time to warm up, silly boy,”

“You’ve been betting on our relationship?!” You cried, eyes wide as saucers. 

“I wanted to feel included somehow,” Kino whined, “Everyone was taking me out for breakfast to shut me up,” 

Your gaze turned to Mel, who held her hands up, “I knew nothing about this babe, I swear,” 

Liar. Her grin gave her away. 

Ambessa took the wad of cash from Kino’s hands before Rictus could, taking two hundred pounds from the pile, giving you a hundred and keeping the rest for herself, “Our commission,” Her voice was tiny daggers, “For entertaining you all so thoroughly,” 

Both men grumbled, though the sparkle in their eyes told them it was never really about the money, the satisfaction coming from destroying the other's pride. 

A pause, as she turned directly to her son, “You’re taking this very well, Kino, despite your usual nonsense, I am sorry for keeping you in the dark,” 

“About as dark and subtle as a bat signal, Mum,” He laughed, “I knew you’d tell me when it worked for you.

“Yes, well, thank you anyway,” Her voice was laced with sarcasm, as she kicked down his tower this time. 

The loud, nonsensical rumble of infighting filled the kitchen as her hand found yours, a tight squeeze making you smile. 

No more secrets. No more sadness. 

You were finally officially a Medarda.

[trashytracktales]

So i saw this TikTok with Lando that is from a live on twitch that he did last year with AngryGinge (I think that’s his name lol) and I don’t remember what AngryGinge said but Lando answered with “You gotta earn it” and now I can’t stop thinking about Lando being a tease during/ before sex

LEFT gif: The face of a man who knows exactly what he's doing at all times.

RIGHT gif: me @ u rn because you’ve just unlocked something in my brain and I need a sec.

The way he'd tease you to the point of complete insanity, while hovering above you just close enough to drive you wild but never giving in, until you’re practically begging for it... OH, LORDY.

I know he’d drag it out, just to get you all worked up. He’d kiss you, extremely slow, and then pull back, that playful smirk never leaving his face, watching you squirm and beg for more.

And the fact that he’d eat that shit up, looking so damn proud of himself the. Whole. Time 🥲

Does anyone know where I can get a grip?

[devildomwriter]

You Go To See A Christmas Carol Part I

Going to see a Christmas Carol in the Human World with Diavolo and the brothers takes a turn when the brothers forget what’s normal for them is not normal for everyone else.

You shuffled out from the middle seat of the packed car and hopped onto the icy pavement. You blew into your gloves to warm your face and looked around as the brothers climbed out of the cars around you.

Mammon: “So, this is the fancy theatre place, huh?”

Satan: “It’s a performing arts center.”

Mammon: “That’s the same damn thing!”

Lucifer: “Quiet! We’re late enough as it is! I won’t have you all bickering in the parking lot and wasting more time. You should be thankful Diavolo even invited you to this play to begin with.”

Leviathan: “What is this play about again?”

MC: “It’s called A Christmas Carol.”

Belphegor: “Ugh, we don’t have to listen to carolers do we?”

Beelzebub: “It’ll be okay Belphie.”

Belphegor: “No it won’t. Remember what satan did last time?”

Satan: “I was being slandered, those kids had it coming!”

Lucifer: “That’s enough! Let’s go! Start walking!”

MC: “Yes, father.”

Belphegor: “Pft!”

Lucifer: “What was that?”

MC: “I didn’t say anything.”

Lucifer: “That’s what I thought. Now does everyone have their human identities?”

Mammon: “Ugh, not this again.”

Lucifer: “This it’s important. Our names are well known up here, gathered all in one place like this it could scare someone.”

Belphegor: “That sounds like fun.”

Lucifer: “It won’t be when Michael hears about it. Now, tell me your names again.”

Mammon: “Matthew…boring ass name—“

Asmodeus: “Guuuuuys! I can see my breath! Look!”

Asmodeus: “Huuuuuuuh.”

Mammon: “Oh yeah! Neat!”

Lucifer: “Stop that. Honestly, you aren’t children.”

Lucifer ushered you to the growing lines as everyone excitedly waited to get through security and into the grand hall for the long-awaited performance.

Security Officer: “Lines that way.”

Lucifer: “Thank you.”

Satan: “We have tickets already.”

Security Officer: “Still that way.”

Satan: “Fine.”

MC: “Excuse me, we’re looking for a friend.”

Mammon: “Why would he know Diavolo, there’s like a million people here?”

MC: “He’s a real eccentric guy, red hair?”

Security Officer: “You mean that guy waving on the balcony?”

MC: “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Security Officer: “Been there about three hours now.”

Lucifer: “How many?”

Security Officer: “Staff was making a real big fuss about him too. You know him?”

MC: “Yeah, he kidnapped me a while back.”

Security Officer: “Excuse me?”

MC: “So the lines that way, yeah? Thanks.”

Security Officer: “Kidnapped?”

You chose not to answer him and ran to catch up with the brothers who’d quickly followed Lucifer lest they provoke his seasonally intense wrath.

Satan: “Lucifer you don’t need to call him you can see him from here just fine.”

Mammon: “I think he’s shoutin’ somethin’?”

Leviathan: “He’s saying…uh…”

Beelzebub: “I…can… see… my…. Breath.”

Lucifer: “…”

Lucifer: *sigh*

Asmodeus: “Isn’t it cool!!!”

Mammon: “Yikes! My ears Asmo!”

Lucifer: “That’s enough, where’d MC go?”

Leviathan: “Hey that officer guy looks kind of nervous now…he’s really staring at us?”

Lucifer: “He probably heard Mammon refer to Asmo by his name.”

Mammon: “You just referred to me by my name too!”

MC: “Hey guys, what’d I miss?”

Lucifer: “Nothing of significance.”

Beelzebub: “Lord Diavolo says he can see his breath.”

MC: “That’s adorable, I expect nothing less.”

Lucifer: “Please don’t encourage him MC.”

MC: “No promises.”

Lucifer: *sigh* “Does everyone have their tickets?”

Satan: “No.”

Lucifer: “What do you mean, no!?”

Satan: “You took them because you didn’t trust us to hold them!”

Lucifer: “Clearly I was right.”

Satan: “What?”

Lucifer: “Mammon this is yours. Your name is now Matthew Morningstar.”

Mammon: “I know, you made me go over it a million times. I don’t think anyone’s gonna even ask right?”

Lucifer: “They will in an interrogation.”

Asmodeus: “What? Are we being interrogated?”

Lucifer: “Hopefully not.”

MC: “The night’s still young.”

Lucifer: “Stop it, MC.”

Lucifer: “Levi, congratulations you get to keep your name.”

Leviathan: “Thank goodness.”

Lucifer: “Satan you’re going as Stanford Morningstar.”

Satan: “That’s a stupid last name.”

Lucifer: “Ignoring that, Belphegor your name is Todd.”

MC: “Why’d you choose Todd?”

Belphegor: “It means death in German.”

MC: “Yup, okay…”

Lucifer: “Beelzebub, you’re name is Benjamin, you can go by Ben if you want to— do not eat this ticket.”

Beelzebub: “…”

Lucifer: “Todd, you’re holding onto his ticket.”

Mammon: “Who the fuck is Todd?”

MC: “Belphegor, pay attention.”

Belphegor: “I am paying attention.”

MC: “I was talking to Matthew.”

Beelzebub: “Matthew?”

Lucifer: “Change of plan, we only call each other by our human names in front of other humans.”

MC: “I’m a human.”

Lucifer: “You don’t count.”

MC: “Shucks.”

Lucifer: *sigh* “Asmodeus you’re name is Amadeus, that’s an easy one, don’t forget it.”

Asmodeus: “Okie!”

Lucifer: “I’m going as Lucious, I believe that’s everyone.”

Asmodeus: “I’ll go first and show you all how it’s done!”

Leviathan: “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

Satan: “Because you should.”

Guard: “Ticket.”

Asmodeus: “Right here sweetie!”

Guard: “Amadeus?”

Asmodeus: “That’s right!”

Guard: “That’s a cool name. Seeing the Christmas Carol?”

Asmodeus: “I sure am!”

Guard: “Haven’t seen it in a bit, hope ya have fun. I’ll have to take my wife and kids when I get a chance, maybe next year. Alright, raise your arms for me.”

Asmodeus: “Oh no, did I mess up already?”

Guard: “Already?”

Leviathan: “Asmo, just T-Pose.”

Asmodeus: “Ew, why in the Devildom would I do that? That’s so not tending right now!”

Lucifer: “He has to use the metal detector, lift your arms.”

Asmodeus: “Ooooh, okay!”

Mammon: “Real master if I ever saw one…”

Asmodeus: “Shut up Mammon! I’d like to see you do better!”

Guard: “Any weapons on you, sir?”

Asmodeus: “Oooh, just in my pants!”

Guard: “I’ll need you to take it out for me.”

Asmodeus: “What? How bold! Right here in front of all these people?”

Guard: “…?”

Lucifer: “That’s it. I’m sorry sir, my brother was making a stupid dirty joke, none of us have any weapons. Lift your arms Asmo before I do it for you.”

Asmodeus: “That sounds like fun.”

Lucifer: “It won’t be once we’re home if you don’t hurry it up.”

Asmodeus: “Yikes! Okay, okay!”

Guard: “Okay…just gonna pat you down real quick….”

Asmodeus: “Pat me anywhere you want pal— ow! Lucifer that hurt!”

Lucifer: “Be. Quiet.”

Guard: “Lucifer…u-um…Amadeus, you’re all good.”

Lucifer: “Don’t you dare go anywhere, wait right there until Mam—Matthew goes through.”

Mammon: “Y’know on second thought why don’t I watch Satan first?”

Satan: “Ow! Don’t shove me what’s wrong with you?”

Lucifer: “Someone just go.”

Satan: “Very well”

Guard: “So…that’s you’re umm…brother?”

Satan: “Unfortunately.”

Guard: “Stanford Morningstar?”

Satan: “Stupid surname, I’m aware.”

Guard: “I think it’s quite unique actually, has a nice ring to it.”

Satan: “That’s your opinion.”

Guard: “Uh, lift your arms please…no weapons I presume?”

Satan: “None.”

Guard: “You’re all good, please proceed.”

Leviathan: “Mammon don’t push me what’s up with you!?”

Guard: “Are you next?”

Leviathan: “H-Hello, fellow human! Sir!”

Guard: “Haha! You guys are a pretty fun bunch aren’t ya?”

Leviathan: “We met at a convent.”

Guard: “What?”

Lucifer: “What?”

Leviathan: “I-I, um…it just came out.”

MC: “This is beautiful.”

Lucifer: “MC, you’re next. Please take them up to Lord Diavolo after this.”

Guard: “Alright, no weapons, you’re good.”

Leviathan: “Thank you, goodbye!”

Mammon: “…”

Guard: “So one big family trip today huh?”

MC: “No, I was kidnapped.”

Guard: “What?”

MC: “I forgave them though. Stockholm syndrome is a hell of a drug.”

Guard: “You guys really are pretty funny. You a comedy group or somethin’?”

MC: “We might as well be given my daily life.”

Guard: “Any weapons?”

MC: “Only spiritual.”

Guard: “Good on you. Me too. Catholic, what about you?”

MC: “I don’t even know at this point. I’m just here for Diavolo.”

Guard: “Well I hope you figure it out, have a good time.”

MC: “God willing.”

You looked at Lucifer as you said that and he glared at you while you gave Mammon, who was sweating bullets, a curious look. Something was definitely wrong with him.

Leviathan: “You think they’ll be okay in line without us?”

MC: “It’s just Beel, Belphie, and Mammon, it’ll be fine.”

Satan: “Okay. Let’s go up to see Lord Diavolo and brief him.”

MC: “Someone go buy some popcorn so Beel doesn’t have a breakdown in line.”

Asmodeus: “Leave it to me!”

MC: “No charming anyone, they’ll get fired.”

Asmodeus: “Ugh, fine.”

Mammon: “Hey uh…Belphie you mind going ahead.”

Belphegor: “What, why?”

Mammon: “I uh…may have forgotten somethin’…”

Belphegor: “…what did you do?”

Mammon: “Nothin’.”

Lucifer: “Mammon.”

Mammon: “I uh…forgot that weapons were kinda a big deal in the human world…maybe.”

Lucifer: “…”

Lucifer: “Beelzebub, Belphegor, don’t cause trouble, go right to MC they’re waiting at the door.”

Mammon: “Hey that’s my collar, hey! Where are ya takin’ me? Lucifer!”

Guard: “…”

Belphegor: “Just ignore them, it’s better not to question it.”

Guard: “Right…so umm, Todd, is it?”

Belphegor: “It means death in German.”

Guard: “Okay….arms up, please….You’re good….right along…”

Beelzebub: “Belphie, my ticket.”

Belphegor: “Oh yeah, here.”

Guard: “I’ll take that, thank you. Benjamin?”

Beelzebub: “What? No, it’s Beelzebub.”

Guard: “What?”

Beelzebub: “Who’s Benjamin?”

Guard: “This ticket is assigned to a Benjamin Morningstar.”

Beelzebub: “Oh yeah…that’s me.”

Guard: *mumbling to himself* “He’s the last one…you can do this…”

Beelzebub: “Is something wrong?”

Guard: “Arms up please…quick pat down…go ahead.”

Next

[nknoxe-n]

≪•◦ Words That Hurt ◦•≫

Synopsis: Basically my 'unspoken' fic with no happy ending, you and Rin argue, he goes too far and you... don't come back?

Warnings: [angst] [pre established relationship]

w.c 580

The argument had been ugly—worse than any you had before. Rin’s words had been cutting, cruel even, and you didn’t know how to react. You’d never seen him so cold.

“I don’t need you hovering over me all the time,” Rin snapped, his voice harsh and biting. “I can handle my own shit. I don’t need someone like you watching every step I take trying to coddle me like some emotional invalid"

The words sliced through you. You had tried, tried so damn hard to be there for him, but no matter what you did, it was never enough.

You had tried to argue back, but it was pointless. Nothing you said could break through the walls he’d built around himself.

Finally, feeling your chest tighten with a mixture of anger and hurt, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the apartment, not looking back. You didn’t care where you were going. You just needed to escape.

The world outside was dark and cold, but the chill in the air was nothing compared to the coldness that had settled inside you. You couldn’t bring yourself to go back. Not after everything he had said.

You walked aimlessly through the night, not caring about where you were going, just trying to numb the hurt. You eventually found a small hotel and checked in, knowing you couldn’t face him tonight.

That night, you lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the sting of his words echoing in your mind. He had hurt you. And yet, the deeper hurt was the realization that you couldn’t keep doing this. You couldn’t keep loving someone who kept pushing you away, no matter how hard you tried.

The next morning, as the sun rose and the city began to stir, your phone buzzed incessantly.

Rinnie <3

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean it.

Please come home.

Each message, each attempt to apologize, made your stomach churn. You wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that he was truly sorry, but you weren’t sure anymore. Was this what you’d always get? Empty apologies after he hurt you?

He didn’t stop. The texts kept coming, one after the other, each more desperate than the last.

Rinnie <3

I can’t believe I said that. Please, I need you.

I don’t want to lose you.

I’m sorry. I was an idiot. Please don’t ignore me.

But you ignored him. You didn’t know how to face him. Didn’t know how to untangle the knot of hurt and confusion inside you. So you just left him on read.

The silence on your end was deafening to him, but you needed it. You needed the space.

Hours passed, and the messages kept coming. He started calling, his name flashing on your screen again and again. But you let the phone ring out. You couldn’t deal with him right now.

You didn’t want to hear his voice.

The day dragged on, and as the night fell once again, your phone lit up with another message from Rin.

Rinnie <3

I don’t know what else to say. Please just answer me.

I love you

Your chest tightened, and for a moment, you thought about picking up the phone. But then you remembered the hurt, the words that had cut deeper than anything else. You remembered how he always seemed to push you away when you tried to get too close.

So, you ignored him.

You weren’t sure what you were doing anymore, but you couldn’t make yourself go back.

[str4ngr]

was it worth it? [ sae itoshi ]

cw: not proofread, angst, foul language, break up, kinda sae focused, regret, desperate ex. notes: i might... key word might, make this a mini series bc i lowkey love this angst. pt. one

paparazzi was so damn annoying. his brows furrowed as more lights flickered across his face, clicking echoing through the night street like an open symphony as he rushed to his car, men in black forcing a path.

the cameras didn't stop even after the loud sound of the door shutting, the engine rolling as his driver took off to his apartment. within moments, the clicks faded into squabbling and shouting, before it became only the turn signal of the car. it was quiet again.

it was always quiet.

when you first left the apartment, the struggle against your sadness evident on your face, it was quiet. for the first time in a long time. there was only one set of shoes at the door. well, it's been like that for about a month now. he wondered if you've been tying your shoes. guilt tripped in his hear as he quickly shook his head, brushing away the softening memory.

when he stepped past the entry way, the quietness was piercing. he missed the noise of someone else in his kitchen, humming a song without a melody. he missed the buzz of the t.v., playing a show he wasn't particularly a fan of though you were.

sae's hands balled into fists at his sides, flat eyes glaring down at the navy couch in his living room. it was an l-shaped couch with plush, soft cushions and plenty of throw pillows. the seat in the corner was a bit less round, dipped and worn. it must've been a comfortable spot.

feeling as though he was acknowledging too much, sae's mind shut off, mechanically moving through his kitchen, dumping the pre-prepped dinner from his fridge into the pan. as heat sizzled through the thawing rice, his mind began to wander again.

"i don't need your luck."

he did. his stomach churned, and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore, a strange lump in his throat, an unshakeable tremble in his hand, a burning in the waterline of his eyes. his jaw fell open, saliva pooling on his tongue, desperate to utter your name,

"i needed it. i needed your luck."

sae was speaking to no one and he knew it. his voice an echo in the hollow apartment, absent of you. the dip in the couch, too much space on the entry landing, no random recipes to welcome him home. regret swallowed him like a whale, unable to consume him, yet not pushing him far enough away to do anything but get swallowed up again.

a bitter scent filled the air, and sae scrambled to stir the fried rice around in the too-hot pan, huffing in irritation. he tried to play off his symptoms of sadness, though there was no reason anyone would struggle to diagnose him. his brows furrowed as he stared at the rice, mindlessly mixing the grain and finally lowering the heat.

his gaze flattened again, focused on what wasnt there. sae was curious, he hadnt used instagram in a long time. turning off the heat after learning from his previous mistake, his grabs his phone, pressing his finger to the lock and opening up the app he usually allowed his managers to-as their job entails-manage. the first thing he noticed was the absolutely abysmal amount of comments that arrived in the notification tab. he didnt bother opening it. instead, he opened his chats, and didnt find what he was looking for.

it made sae smile that you didnt message him, maybe you remembered how he always said he doesnt use his instagram. sae's expression falls at the next thought: maybe its because you hurt you too badly that night.

he searches through his following, heart sinking to see that he's no longer following you. stupid managers. "shit," he huffs, wanting to snap the brick of metal, instead angrily scrolling through his followers to find, "...still?"

sae scoffed, furious. angry for you, because why did you still follow him? why did you still look at all his posts? like all his posts? did- "what was that fucking doing for you?" sae walked away from what was supposed to be his dinner, huffing again as he sat on the couch. why couldn't you have unfollowed him? now, his finger trembled over your account, fighting with himself on whether he presses it or not.

air balls up into a lump in his throat. he remembered all the times you posted him, stupid little dates or when he won a game. he remembered the post for your first anniversary the most. you were so beautiful, so happy, your cheeks flushed with blood as the two of you sat in the restaurant that was also your first date. he remembered how he fought--and lost--when he tried not to be so boisterous that night, failing to resist your charm as the two of you laughed together on the couch, surrounded by each others warmth. cheesy. he smiled to himself at the word, trying not to acknowledge the way his eyes began to burn again, or how his lungs felt like they were sinking, or how hard it felt to breathe.

slamming his phone on the coffee table, sae keels over, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, palms digging into his eyes. it hurts. oh it fucking hurts. he feels his shoulders shake with each breath, his palms sweating, his eyes burning, his ears ringing, his pulse in his skull. he messed up. he messed up so much.

he needed your luck. he needed you.

notes: pt.3?

[spyres]

bootleg pokemon advent calender review

so my mom got me this pokemon-themed advent calender filled with a bunch of bootleg figurines earlier this month and i opened the first door at the time but i completely forgot about it until now. so with it being christmas eve i thought it would be fun to go through each figurine for funsies because i'm utterly fascinated with what i got.

day one: muk

this was the only one i had knowledge of throughout the entire month. at first i was thinking "well if you look at it as muk's shiny then it could be passable" before remembering that muk's shiny is green and not blue. regardless, congrats to muk on the blue goo and pronouns. 3/10

day two: reuniclus

i can never spell this damn thing's name. i was pleasantly surprised to see reuniverse though, as it was evident that this calender wasn't going to just be filled with gen one pokemon like i suspected. gen five was actually tied with gen one for the most figurines with six, surpringly! unfortunately there's nothing after gen six though, not even any regional variants.

back to reunicorn, this is definitely on the higher end just for being the correct colour lmao. the bottom part of reunionize does not look like that though. 8/10

day three: clefairy

one of the better figurines for sure! while it's still evidently of bootleg quality, it could feasibly pass as official just for being the correct colours. her doing the little metronome dance from the anime in her posing is a nice touch too! 9/10

day four: tyrunt

oh my god they poured tar on him. why are his eyes soulless. he looks possessed. this makes me sad i don't like this one. 2/10

day five: dedenne

she's a little confused but she's got the spirit, i think. needs to be more orange but i guess looking like you're made of cheese is fitting for a mouse-like creature. 6/10

day six: miltank

ohhh i really hate this thing. i'm not a miltank hater by any means but this one looks gross and mouldy to me. girl go have a bath. 1/10

day seven: arbok

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY GIRL!!!!!! SHE'S FUCKING NAKED!!!!!! sure they got the colour right but they stole her patterns!!! her most stunning feature!!!!!! she was proud of those patterns!!!! AND THEY STOLE THEM FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hatred and anger/10

day eight: primeape

i don't want to make any comments about the eyes since i don't have strabismus, but i like that they kept his anger. the personality still manages to shine through here. the rest of the figurine is just. whatever. not the worst but not the best just completely average. 5/10

day nine: pansage

sorry the picture is ass i don't want to retake it lol. confession: while i don't really have any strong opinions on the elemental monkeys compared to a lot of fans, i do have a bit of a soft spot for pansage because i think he's adorable. rewatching the bw anime a few years back awoke that in me, and i think this one is pretty cute too! something about the :3 face just gets to me. despite missing its cream colouring, i think one is pretty solid overall! 7/10

day ten: victini

behold the extremely rare and powerful mythical pokemon victini! truly a marvel to witness! anyway i don't like that it's missing its teeth but it's okay i guess. 4/10

day eleven:

i don't really have much to say on this one tbh? i like that they gave it a stand since it would just fall over with those stubby little legs i guess but i just. don't see anything to really talk about here. 3/10

day twelve: grumpig

not as soulless-looking as tyrunt was, and maybe it's helped partially by grumpig already having some dark grey in its usual colour scheme so it doesn't look thaaat unusual, but it's still not a good one. 3/10

day thirteen: slowking

gives me the same gross and mouldy vibes as miltank but not as bad i think. i like the pose. i don't think i've ever seen slowking cross its arms like that in any official pokemon media or merch so there's some points for uniqueness. 4/10

day fourteen: darumaka

my son murngus who i fed a ball. i love this thing. this is peak. we're never getting any better than this. tpci should make this official merch. love and peace/10

day fifteen: swirlix

this is my daughter white boy. while i have criticisms with the lumps being too pronounced (they should be softer and more subtle imo) and the lack of feet, i honestly kinda love this one? it reminds me of those pathetic white dogs that look like they'll fall over if you breathe on them too hard, and while the big bumps don't give the image of candy floss like they're supposed to, this reminds me of a cloud in a way, which is still lovely to think about. 9/10

day sixteen: beartic

who hurt you beartic. the colours are right at least but. the face. 3/10

days seventeen, eighteen and nineteen: croconaw, totodile, feraligatr

i got the whole family one after another so might as well cover them together.

croconaw: the sniler...... croconaw manages to be the definition of both creepy AND wet here. it's unsettling a little bit but it gives it some personality. 6/10

totodile: i do not like that mouth whatsoever. what the fuck. 2/10

feraligatr: i have to question why feraligatr is a slightly different shade of blue than its younger siblings but that's neither here nor there. it's alright but the eyes are a bit unnerving to me. 4/10

day twenty: chimchar

the only gen four pokemon of the batch, which is sad for me as a gen four fan. it's fine but this one lacks chimchar's signature flame tail. unfortunate since chimchar canonically farting out fire is a key characteristic to me. 5/10

day twenty one: gothitelle

i look like this irl. not really much to complain about with this one side from the lack of a mouth and the face being white rather than purple. i like the complete and utter torment in her eyes. i could fix her fr. 7/10

day twenty two: grovyle

dedicating this one to my fellow pmd fans! they fucking peeled our lad!! the pose is kinda cool though. 6/10

day twenty three: aurorus

this one is a falls into the category of ugly cute to me. they used the wrong shade of blue but it's still fine imo. i simultaneously like the eyes but also don't like them. i'm very conflicted on how i feel about the finer details of this one but it's okay overall imo. 6/10

day twenty four: psyduck

ngl i was kinda hoping for something special for the last one. maybe delibird to go with it being for christmas, or another legendary/mythical, but i've been rewatching the anime again recently and they are so fucking mean to misty's psyduck that it's borderline unpleasant to watch at times, so you know what? psyduck deserves this.

it's pretty alright for a bootleg too. they got all the colours and key details right, even if it's rather shoddy, so i'll be generous with this one. 9/10

if you read all of this then thank you for joining me on this journey. i'm so glad i spent christmas eve deciding to review shitty knock-off pokemon merch rather than celebrating with my friends and family. and i'm very sorry that i released these beasts from their prison and have made them everyone else's problem now.

[awardenandacrow]

FANFIC SNIPPET 17

[Naimeryn has been cutting down hanging Shadow Dragons in Dock Town for weeks, causing kerfuffles with Venatori every time. The team is sworn to Not Tell Neve, but this is Neve Gallus we’re talking about. Rana is worried Rook is burning herself out picking the wrong fights for the wrong reasons, even if the general population’s spirits do raise temporarily each time. Neve decides she needs to step in.]

NOTE: this snippet falls chronologically after the “Rook is clumsy” snippet

CW/TW: blood

——————————————————————————

“Rook, good. I need to talk to you.”

Naimeryn just about jumped out of her skin at the sound of Neve’s voice to her left. She tripped over the broken table and hit the floor hard, scrambling quickly to her feet.

“Come on, Rook, *again?*” Davrin groaned. “You’re giving the Wardens a bad name.”

“Her left,” Lucanis snapped at him, and her cheeks burned. He sounded so offended on her behalf. “Out, come. Let’s let them talk. Nice to see you, Neve.”

“Lucanis,” she allowed him an appreciative nod.

Naimeryn waited for Davrin and Lucanis to leave, then turned her attention back to Neve. She wore her usual coat, but her hat sat next to her on the table against which she leaned. Naimeryn opened her mouth to ask the stupid question of how she was doing, but something in Neve’s expression gave her pause.

“Back to cut down a few dozen more Shadow Dragons? Take out a few Venatori guards?”

“I…” Naimeryn frowned. Neve’s face was, as usual, unreadable, but her tone was… disapproving? “I didn’t really want you to know I was doing that but… I kind of thought you’d be happier about it?”

“You can’t fix what happened cutting them down every night,” Neve told her. She looked… tired. Stressed. Sad. Naimeryn’s heart ached.

“I — I know —“

“Do you?” Neve asked, standing abruptly. Naimeryn shrank back. “Do you know what the others say when you do it? Tarquin thinks what you’re doing is a penance that needs to be paid. When you get hurt — don’t look surprised, I know you got hurt — He thinks it serves you right. He doesn’t celebrate the ones you cut down, just for them to be replaced in the morning. You’re just making it easier for the Venatori to string up more!”

Neve’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, and Naimeryn thought her rib cage was going to tear itself apart.

“Is that what *you* think?” She whispered.

Neve looked surprised. “*That’s* your question?”

Naimeryn swallowed thickly. “I don’t care what Tarquin thinks. But you…”

Naimeryn swallowed again. Neve was hurting. This was about Neve, not her. “If you need me to stop, I won’t promise to like it. But if what I’m doing is making it harder on you… I’ll stop.”

“Rook,” Neve sighed. “You made an impossible choice without all the information. *Any* information. You thought we had it. And now, you can’t forgive yourself for being wrong. But Rook… we have enough fires on our hands without you running around Dock Town punishing yourself.”

“I’m not —“

Neve crossed to Naimeryn in two easy steps, grabbing her wrist and shoving her sleeve up roughly. Naimeryn yelped in surprise and pain, some of the bandages bloody despite having been changed that morning.

“What do you call this, Rook?” Neve demanded. “Do the others even know? Your new Warden friend? Does *Lucanis* know? I know *Lace* hasn’t been taking care of these. You’re wearing yourself out and being reckless! The others are worried about you. Rana is worried about you.”

She paused, then, “*I’m* worried about you,” she sighed.

“They deserve better than hanging in there streets they died protecting,” Naimeryn snapped. “I just thought I could —”

“No,” Neve shook her head. “This is about you, not them.”

Neve jabbed her finger unforgivingly into Naimeryn’s chest. “So you’re going to stop being *stupid,* and you’re going to get your head on straight, and remember that if we stop these damned gods, we’ll stop the Venatori.“

“We?” Naimeryn asked in a small voice. “Does that mean you’re coming back to the Lighthouse?”

“Soon,” Neve said quietly. “Now come on, let’s get these cleaned up. I heard you’re hunting down a treasure buried beneath Minrathos… it’s a myth, you know?”

*Neve is later disappointed to hear that the treasure was not, in fact, a myth*

[spiderdetentionaire]

Young Goetia is huddled next to Lilith who is trying to comfort the teenager. And in the process Octavia receives what is known as affection from a mother figure.

Octavia: Seriously, I heard her. Besides wanting to kill my dad, she wants to kill me *wipes away tears and looks at the Sins* And it's all your fault! You took my father's powers away.

Mammon: Okay. We fucked up, yeah. And we're paying the consequences, what else do you want from us?

Lucifer takes a pillow from Belphegor that she used to get some sleep, and buries his face in it to start throwing a tantrum to vent the anger that he doesn't hide at all.

Belphegor: Brother, calm down.

Lucifer: Do you see what you caused, you bunch of idiots? Now this girl is in danger *presses the bridge of his nose, even though he doesn't have one* Tell me kid, where do you think your father could be?

Octavia: Well, the only place I think about is my friend Loona's house. And she lives with her adoptive father, Blitzø *turns to look at Beelzebub* She told me about you and said you were friends, why didn't you do anything to help?

She was going to answer but Satan intervenes.

Satan: Very well. It was my fault, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I screwed up the most than them, okay?

Lucifer: Well, that's a first step to admit your mistake… Amenadiel.

Satan: *gets upset* That's not my name anymore… Samael.

Lucifer: *thinks a bit* Let me see, that Blitzø lives in the Imps' neighborhood, right? *Octavia nods* Ah, damn myself. I'll have to go through that angry mob again. I'll have to modify the Hierarchy and do what my beloved wife suggested. So Sinners, I'm sorry but now you'll be at the bottom of Hell.

Angel: Great.

Lucifer heads for the door to leave, feeling the gazes of the Sins.

Lucifer: *sighs* Okay, you can go back to your rings now. And yes, I'll leave them clean for you. But if you do something stupid like that again, you'll see what's going to happen to you. I have plenty of imagination for punishments. *opens the door, but Alastor stops him* What do you want, Bambi?

Alastor: Wait, Your Majesty. I can't let you go to that place alone after your humiliating event. So you must be accompanied by someone who supports you. Someone who watches your back. So… Charlie, go and accompany your father.

Charlie: For a moment I thought I had achieved something with you Alastor. Thanks because I thought I was dreaming *said somewhat disappointed* Come on, dad. Let's look for that Goetia.

The King and Princess leave the hotel in search of Stolas. Meanwhile, Octavia is still sad and can't stop hugging Lilith.

Octavia: Please excuse me, Queen Lilith. I just needed this.

Lilith: Poor little thing. It seems you never had a mother's love *in her mind* Although I'm no better mother than she is.

Octavia: Try as I might, I can't remember a time when she's ever done anything for me or shown genuine love. It was always me and my dad.

Curiosity overtook Lilith.

Lilith: Nothing? Not even a small detail from her or a simple "I love you, my beloved daughter"?

Octavia: Just for show.

Lilith's "Mama Bear" mode turned on. She gently separated from Octavia and headed for the door.

Vaggie: Ma'am, where are you going?

Lilith: I think I'll go have tea with this girl's mother and have a warm chat with her *and left the hotel*.

Husker: Now she's pissed *goes to the six sins* So you're fallen angels?

Satan: Why would we respond that to a sinner?

Angel: Okay. Charlie's dad brought you here to insult us, or what? Besides, you can go back to your rings now. Why are you still here?

Vaggie: I think I know why. *addresses the Sins* Charlie told me a lot about you. About how her aunts and uncles took care of her when she was a little girl. I guess that's why you haven't left yet. You want to spend more time with her.

The six of them exchange glances, Vaggie isn't wrong, they enjoy Charlie's positive attitude and joy. They even like the Hotel, they like what she achieved and what she wants to achieve even though it seems impossible.

Mammon: It's true *he admitted* She's a special girl.

Asmodeus: Yes. It's just that we didn't know what time would be right to spend time with her.

Satan: It seems like she's fine without us.

Belphegor: I remember when I made myself a giant and she slept in my wool when she was a baby.

Leviathan: *both heads talk at the same time* Although we think she might need help with her plan. She wants to redeem the sinners to avoid exterminations, the problem is that she wants to redeem them all when that's impossible. If anything she could only redeem some, only if they want redemption. But not everyone deserves it.

Octavia: *a little calmer* Once, when we were still a family, let's say functional, we watched your commercial on TV.

-FLASHBACK-

It was a quiet morning where the Goetia family was having breakfast when on TV they showed a commercial about a place in Hell founded by the Princess of this same Hell to redeem sinners so that they go to Heaven and thus avoid the annual exterminations.

Stolas: That… sounds like an interesting idea.

Stella: Pfff! Please. Does the little princess really think that sinners will want to go to her hotel or whatever to be better? They are just scum that enjoy being here.

Octavia: Well, at least she tries to do something. I mean, her father lets those angels come here and cause a massacre every year. I have even lost some friends.

Stella: Honey, they are souls that chose to be here and now they must suffer the consequences like the scum that they are. I have also told you to look for friends more on our level.

Stolas: I think Octavia has a point. I even know sinners that deserve a second chance. Sure, there are a few of them, but…

Stella: Ha! Of course. The day that girl manages to get a sinner to go to Heaven, then I'll… Umm… *thinks a bit* I can't think of anything. But that won't happen *puts food in her mouth* Nuh uh.

Stolas: Don't talk with your mouth full, please.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

Vaggie: We'll make Stella eat her words. But you're right. And I tried to make her see that but I was looking for a way to do it.

Then the Sins exchange glances and nod to each other.

Bee: Araqiel.

Alastor: Excuse me, your highness?

Bee: That was my name before the fall. Araqiel.

Asmodeus: Semyazza.

Mammon: Gadreel.

Leviathan: *both heads* Tamiel.

Husker: And did you always have two heads?

Leviathan: *both heads* We had one. But when we got the power of Hell that head split into two and two were formed.

Belphegor: *yawns* Azazel.

In the end everyone sees Satan, who at first regrets the idea but gives a hot sigh.

Satan: You just heard it *groans* Amenadiel.

Mammon: Considered as Father's favorite son. Although I think it's Michael now.

Satan: Don't start. And we weren't just angels, we were archangels. The best archangels God has ever had among his children. Hmmp! I'm the oldest of all and Samael is the one who punishes us and all that.

Bee: I wonder how Lucifer and Charlie are doing with that Goetia.

Mastermind Aftermath (ft. Lilith)

Charlie was watching TV with her mom when suddenly they show a summary of the trial.

Charlie: Oh shit.

Lilith: If your father sees this…

Lucifer arrives with a bowl of popcorn.

Lucifer: Hi my loves, what are you watching?

When he sees the summary on TV he drops the bowl to the floor. And although he seemed to be smiling, he was actually very pissed off with his horns visible.

Charlie: Dad?

Lucifer: I'm sorry but I have to take care of some things to do.

And without further ado he disappears.

An hour later. Vaggie turns on the TV and…

Vaggie: Puta madre!

Everyone is going to see the gossip.

666 News: Breaking news! Lucifer beats the shit out of the sins. Just like you hear it. The king of Hell made it snow in the ring of Wrath, put limits on consumption in the ring of Gluttony, put 100% discounts in the ring of Greed, applied parental control in the ring of Lust, made everyone happy with what they have in the ring of Envy and prohibited sleeping at all hours and laziness in the ring of Sloth. And now he is reportedly looking for the former prince Stolas to give him back all his power. The king of Hell was interviewed and this is what he said.

Lucifer: It's just not fair. I'm helping in my daughter's project, and these people are causing a mess with a lawsuit behind my back… it's not fair.

Reporter: Will things go back to normal in the other rings after what he did?

Lucifer: Until further notice and when I say so. And no more questions. I'm looking for Stolas.

Husk: He's pissed off.

Angel: Look what it says on my phone. It says that Charlie's dad has taken control over the rings and sent the sins to a specific place until he gets over with their mess and gets over his anger.

Lilith: And where does he plan to send them?

The hotel bell rings. Niffty goes quickly and comes back quickly.

Niffty: Charlie, they're looking for you.

Charlie goes and finds her uncles and aunts all scolded and punished.

Mammon: Your dad sent us here.

Beelzebub: And he will be in control of our rings until he says so. And all because of you, Satan!

Azmodeus: As some Imps would say: You fucked up!

---

In Stella's house, she throws the remote to the T.V. breaking it after seeing the news. Needless to say, she's just as pissed off as the time she found out Stolas was cheating on her with an Imp. Right next to her is her brother.

Stella: He can't do that, right?

Andrealphus: Oh dear sister *he takes a sip of his tea* Of course he can! Is fucking Lucifer we're talking about. Didn't you see what he did to the Sins?! Of course he can return your ex his powers.

Stella: *growls in frustration* And to think that all my plans are finally coming to fruition, only for that damn dwarf to show up and ruin everything. And yes, it is Lucifer we are talking about.

Under the table, as if it were a cartoon…

Andrealphus: But what a clever and original comment.

Whatever. Stella pulls out a huge folder with many plans against Stolas to claim absolute power. Andrealphus sees the folder and is shocked to see Octavia's photo in it.

Andrealphus: Are you thinking of plotting to kill your own daughter? Would you be capable of such a thing?!

Stella: Andrealphus! What are you saying?! OF COURSE I am capable, but it's not the time yet, silly. One step at a time.

Suddenly, she closes the folder and makes it disappear into a strategic location.

Stella: There's no other option. We have to kill Stolas before His Highness gives his powers back. *she laughs evilly*

Andrealphus: Let me think in a good plan for it. But I assure you, it will be done as you wish, my hot sister.

Brother and sister laugh evilly and madly, as if they were two kookaburras, and Andrealphus turns his head back maniacally.

Stella: But now I must step into my role as a devoted mother and go see Octavia to her room and tell her to come for dinner. That girl is skin and bones.

As Stella leaves, Andrealphus sees a picture of Stolas with a malicious look.

Andrealphus: I hope you've enjoyed your pathetic Imp, Stolas. Because soon you'll be--

Stella: Andrealphus!!

The ice bird gets up from his seat and runs towards his sister's scream. When he arrives, he finds Stella standing in Octavia's bedroom doorway.

Andrealphus: What's happening?!

Stella: Octavia's gone!

The young Goetia had escaped and took everything she could with her; clothes, phone, etc. Seeing the scene, Stella becomes thoughtful until she concludes something.

Stella: Changes of plans, brother. We have to kill her, too.

---

It had been about 5 hours since Lucifer left to look for Stolas. At the Hotel Charlie does everything possible to make her uncles and aunts feel comfortable, which is not easy since they already have a state of life and comfort zone already established. And of course, there was no lack of criticism or at best certain observations about the redemption plan that she wants to impart in her Hotel and the possible failure that this can entail.

But all that is interrupted when Lucifer appears at the main door all hurt, his clothes torn and tired. Lilith takes him to their room at the Hotel to take care of his wounds, for example she cleans the wounds on one of his legs.

Lucifer: Hey hey hey it burns it burns.

Lilith: It's incredible that you, being the king of hell, a simple demon, could have done this to you.

Lucifer: Demons in plural. And if I ended up like this it's because they piled up against me.

Lilith: Well, what kind of demons were they?

Lucifer: Imps.

Lilith: *not believing it* IMPS?!

Lucifer: But with impressive forces. I don't understand how they could do this to me. As if I had done something to harm them.

Lilith: Well, maybe it was because you put them at the lowest bottom of the Hierarchy in Hell.

Lucifer: Maybe that's why, right?

Lilith: I told you that that place was meant for Sinners.

Then Mammon appears at the door.

Mammon: Dear sister-in-law, are you still going to take your time to heal the wounds of poor Luci who was attacked by some fierce Imps? *laughs* Speaking about losers, bro.

Lucifer: Laugh, you fatso. I'd like to see you face those Imps who seemed to be full of sterols.

Lilith: Why do you say that?

Lucifer: Because the poor bastards jumped so high that they would surpass Sera's height... And how do you know they were Imps?

Mammon: They are broadcasting your humiliating event on Vox TV.

Lucifer: Damn bootleg plasma TV. Not only satisfied with trying to ruin our daughter's project... I'm going to close down his business and his partners' to see if he finds it funny.

Lilith: Mammon, why don't you kindly ask Niffty to prepare you something to eat *takes out a sewing needle* while I sew it up?

Lucifer: Are you going to sew my wounds with that needle?!

Lilith: No, your pants.

Lucifer: Ahhh

Lucifer takes off his torn pants. And yes, hus underwear has printed ducklings.

Lilith: And you, Mammon, go and ask Niffty for something to eat.

Mammon: Greaaaaaat. Okay, Luci, I'm leaving because my hunger is as fierce as some dangerous Imps *laughs again and leaves*

Lucifer: Let's see if you keep laughing, knowing that I control your ring.

Lilith: Please, Luci. Don't be angry anymore.

Lucifer: And how could I not be angry after the stupid thing they did behind my back? Speaking of stupid things, what an idiot I am for not having found Stolas yet, Oh My Father. I've already checked every corner of the rings and that Goetia doesn't appear. Well...

Lilith: Well, what?

Lucifer: I checked every corner, except the Imps' zone when they attacked me. And I'm still an idiot because it is said that he is having an affair with an Imp.

Lilith: The ex-prince of the Goetia having an affair with an Imp? This has become a soap opera.

Lucifer uses his magic to dress himself in better clothes and leaves the room. In the lobby, the rest of the sins, including Alastor, did not hide their desire to laugh after seeing on television how some simple Imps attacked the king of Hell.

Lucifer: Keep laughing, you fuckers. You won't see your rings in a long time. But now I have better things to...

But when he opens the doors of the Hotel to leave again, he finds a young Goetia about to knock on the door. It seemed that the girl was crying.

Octavia: King Lucifer?

Lucifer: Umm... yes?

Octavia: I need your help.

[daturabouquet]

Dottore has many clones to assist him in his work, and you can barely tell them apart (except from the super obvious ones). Sometimes you figure out which segment is which by their physical build, the older ones tend to have broader shoulders compared to the younger ones. Theta (older) and Omega (younger) look very much alike, same mask design and all, only thing that differentiates them is their overall build, and their personalities differ; Theta is warm but Omega is rather snappy.

One time you wanted to ask a segment about dinner choices, but you didn't want a fight... the only segment you see in your line of sight was either Theta or Omega.

So you grab a measuring tape, approach him, and measure his shoulders to find out which one he is, it turned out to be Theta, so you struck up the conversation.

you can say Theta was very visibly puzzled.

"(name)... Why did you just measure my shoulders?"

"To... differentiate you and Omega?"

"You pay attention to our... measurements?"

"Yes...?"

"You're much more of a creep than I thought."

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I am exhausted, good heavens.

[kiyomitakada]

my heart was stolen by a blind pickpocket in the deep city streets in the summer of twenty twelve and i never even saw her faaaaace my dreams were shattered like a stained glass window jesus in pieces! i believe i threw a brick right through him but my memory could not be saved!

[thefatcat-13]

HELL YEAHH

first: better pic of the bag

front

back

now: materials i used

- old jean shorts that didnt fit (the flap thing)

- a hood off of a hoodie (the camo fabric, the part that actually holds stuff)

- straps off of a tote bag i got at a local pride event (blue strap)

- hoodie fabric that was previously cut up for another project (the shoulder rest)

- stuffing from a busted pillow (the shoulder rest)

- floss as thread

- a thick embroidery needle

- pliers (you’re gonna need em for sewing through the denim)

- knowledge of how to do a whipstich and a running stich. if a project uses more than these stitches the i dont fw it.

okay so step one: the strap

i just used a seam ripper and snatched both straps off of this tote bag i got for free and never used. i sewed both of the straps together to make one longer strap.

after the strap is longer, i used the hoodie fabric to make a kind of tube thing for the shoulder rest. make sure it can fit around your strap and have a bit of extra room to fit stuffing.

DONT SEW THIS ONTO THE STRAP YET

it will be so much easier to make it in the right place when the straps are actually sewn on the bag.

STEP TWO: the actual holding part

okay so the important part. cut the hood off of your least favorite hoodie. i got mine bc it was on my battle jacket but the hood not only looked weird it covered any design i put on the back so i ditched it.

you just need to sew up the side you cut off. heres what the inside of my bag looks like if that helps

sew the part next to the red line

STEP THREE: attach straps to bag

um pretty self explanatory tbh. i safety pinned mine in place before sewing so i could see is the strap was long enough or too long. just play around with the length of the strap until you like it basically.

i sewed it like this so the strap was pretty secure

not the cleanest but eh who cares

STEP FOUR: put on shoulder rest

(idk if its called a shoulder rest who cares anymore language is made up anyways and you know what i mean)

anyways just safety pin it on, fuck around with the positioning like you did with the strap and sew it on ONE side

we use the other side to shove fluff in there, use a pencil to push it to the other side. god knows how much to put in but this is how much i put in mine

bada bing bada boom you got a perfectly functional bag. if you’re like me you can stop here and procrastinate actually putting the flap on because “oh well it worksss its fine” knowing damn well your floppy bag kinda sucks and you dont take it anywhere.

oh you actually want to add the flap? cool

STEP FIVE: the flap

calling it the flap sounds weird but idc its the flap.

take some old jeans and choose weather or not you want the front or back pockets. i choose back because idk aesthetics? i genuinely dont remember why back was the better option for me.

anyways cut the back out in a way that covers the hood well and keeps the pocket in tact. you can leave room to hem the edges so they dont fray or you can be a loser like me who didnt feel like doing that.

make sure to leave notches like this so the strap can have room to sit or wtv

the red marks are where i left notches btw.

and then take a second to pray to whatever you believe in to give you strength. arm yourself with a thick ass embroidery needle and pliers because we are sewing through the thickest part of both the denim and the bag. i believe in you.

i just sewed it like the picture above, i didnt have floss so i just took embroidery thread and rubbed it on a candle to get waxed embroidery thread.

now your punk ass has a bag made of fabric scraps and a solid 3 ish hours of your time

and maybe some blood sweat and tears from sewing through that denim.

ask me questions if you’re confused ive never name a tutorial before

have fun :]

i made this bag out of basically fabric scraps follow your dreams kids

[beastsovrevelation]

I had another Good Omens fanfiction dream this morning.

Basically, Crowley was due to give birth. You might ask, Pestilence, what's with you and Crowley being pregnant?.. The answer is, I don't know, and neither does my therapist.

So, Crowley's due to give birth, he's scared and in pain. Beelzebub shows up, along with a few other demons (I guess I'll look through the Key of Solomon, I remember a few have to do with healing). She told him they'll support him. I have a feeling, the dream adhered to my idea that Crowley and Beelzebub are siblings (in spite Beelzebub looking like she does in S2, so Indian).

Crowley had to change to his snake form, because while his human form was male (so he couldn't give birth without surgery, which was too dangerous), his snake form was female. The demons put him in a whelping box (genius idea). Crowley gave birth to either 4 or 6 baby snakes (apparently, they're called snakelets). It was a live birth, which, fun fact, some snakes do give (i think boa constrictors, and snake Crowley kind of looks like one, aside from the colouring). The baby snakes then morphed to human form. I don't think Crowley nearly died, but he lost a lot of blood, and got extremely exhausted. No, it probably wasn't realistic to how snakes actually give birth.

(They were far larger, though)

Oh, and at some point, Aziraphale found out, but someone (possibly Beelzebub) forbade him from coming, because an angel's presence would distress the babies, and they wouldn't take human form. They could also die.

No, I don't think Aziraphale was the "father". The babies were demons, while, according to my headcanons, when an angel procreates with a demon, the baby's an angel, as it's the original form (though, they do retain some demonic features). Maybe, Crowley mated with an actual snake, or something... It would be very Greek and Norse god of him, but what the Heaven, dude... I guess, Beelzebub could act as the litter's she-father, once the two had reconciled. Which, is a word I use for maternal figures who, traditionally, would be considered more paternal. You know, kind of emotionally detached, more provider than carer, often absent, that sort of deal.

This is incoherent, but I only remember fragments. I guess, I will put it down in my notes for the future. I already did. (I'm kind of tempted to write the birth scene, I like writing birth scenes, they're brutal).

Don't you just have a love/hate relationship with when you are already swamped with WIPs, but the Fanfiction Gods send you another vision?..

Also, don't you just hate it when you give birth to a litter of snakelets, with the help of your coworkers, and your estranged sister.

What the Hell do you even name that many damn whelps...

[hauntingblue]

The combo of York and the seraphim is too cute... they are getting their asses handed to them by cutie pies

[boomerang109]

i came home, panicked about one thing, and my toilet was leaking. bathroom floor is covered in water and brown particles. oddly, this has not improved my mood