#I might just have to add that to my arsenal

[tonymystarks]

Hey friends!

It's been so long seen I wrote anything holy shit. I started my master's degree at the beginning of September, and as much as I love it, I have been writing the driest nonsense you could possibly imagine. I want to write something fun again, and I thought, what better time to do that than our blessed be Kinktober! If anyone has any prompts or ideas, shoot them my way!

[gilverrwrites]

Batguys when they have for the first time a vibrator put ON THEM (their dicks) by reader during sex ( they never experienced a toy on themselves before, it was always used on their girl if they were using toys).

AND I’m the same person that send the bat guys vibrators suggestion! What if the guys thought the vibrator was only for women and they’re proven other wise 😏😉

AN: I’m not convinced of them not knowing per se, so much as they’ve just never considered it for various reasons. So, in order of understood to least understood; Ft. Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Roy

Batman:

He knows full well the effects, he’s just hates to not be in control. So when you finally pin him down long enough to have your way, it’s because he lets you. When you teasingly glide the tip of your vibe along his length he purposely bucks his hips, urging you to use it on his sensitive tip, enjoying the whole commotion more than he thought he would.

The gloriously thick muscles of his thighs tense under his own self-restraint as you finally give him what wants.

“You’re taking it so well Brucie.” You coo and he glares at you from beneath his brow, trying and failing to maintain dominance but the rest of his body betrays him; his cheeks are tinted a precious shade of red, his broad chest heaving with each shallow breath.

When you praise him again; “You’re such a good boy.” He loses it completely.

Nightwing:

100% understands, but why would he ever want to use them on himself, when he could use them on you?

Then again, you’re so cute with those big puppy dog eyes, that mischievous grin when you ask to try something on him, how could he say no? And my god, he is a sight to behold. Even having seen the effect your bullet has on you, the way it makes you wither and moan uncontrollably, nothing could prepare him for his first experience.

He’s so loud, louder than you and just as unruly. His hands gripping tight to every surface, you, the headboard, the pillows, the mattress nothing satiates him. His long legs stretch, his toes curl, hips rolling and jerking for friction as his whole body shakes. Unable to muster the normal slew of filth he typically showers you with; he pants your name between obscenely breathless moans until he cums all over himself.

Side note: I swear, put this man in a vibrating cock ring, I need it.

Red Hood:

He’s just literally never thought about it before. One night you ask him to grab something from your bedside drawer and you’re surprised when he comes back holding your wand. When you ask if he wants to try it out, this is not what he expects.

Hell, if he’s not complaining though. Jason has never seen this kind of thing in action, so he’s lounging on the bed, legs spread wide as he leans against the headboard, not expecting too much.

When you tease the vibrating head along his shaft, causing it to twitch, he laughs and jokes about it tickling, but the moment you press it to the tip of his cock his whole body trembles.

“Ah, fuck baby.” He bites his lip, trying and failing to keep his eyes from rolling back. “Right there, right there, please don’t stop.”

Arsenal:

And if I may throw a wildcard in the mix;

Roy is exactly the kind of smart but dense kinda guy who could tinker away endlessly, making the perfect toys (out of equipment intended for weaponry might I add) to meet your needs, things meant to fill you in all the right spaces, to vibrate and pulse at the strength and speed that drives you wild, without it ever occurring to him that it could be used on him too.

He’s already hard as a rock and close to the edge after you’ve gone down on him, when you show him what you’re doing he lazily mumbles “Oh come on baby, that’s not gonna do anything.”

He’s proven almost immediately wrong. He’s lovingly cupping your face or holding your hair back but when he feels the vibrating sensation on his already sensitive cock his grip automatically tightened like a vice.

The skin from his cheeks to his belly growing hotter with each pulse until his body is just a few shades lighter than his hair, he’s sweating, eyes watering, begging for release and when you grant it he nearly tumbles over, legs weak and trembling.

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Doctor Doctor, Gimme The News | Part II

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Doctor!Reader

Summary: You receive a particularly difficult patient by the name of Bradshaw and you try your best to resist his charms.

CW: tall Bradley, Mavdad, it's still goofy XD

WC: 1800+

Part 1 | Masterlist

You’re sitting at the bar with a drink in your hand, waiting for your friend to finish flirting with the bartender so you can pay your tab, when you hear a familiar voice from behind.

“Almost didn’t recognized you without the stethoscope.”

You glance over your shoulder wearily, instantly recognizing the tall aviator you met at the clinic earlier in the week. Bradshaw, was it? “Yeah, I get that a lot,” you say, giving him a polite smile before turning away.

Bradley doesn’t take the hint and plants himself on the barstool next to you. “So, are you gonna tell me your name? Or am I just gonna have to keep calling you Doc? Might get a bit awkward in bed.”

You snort into your drink as you’re taking a sip. Bradley grins, clearly pleased that he’s made you laugh. His slightly narrowed eyes sweep over your face with a quiet confidence, and you find yourself rather enjoying his attention. “Well, for the sake of making things less awkward,” you respond with a small smile, and then tell him your name.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says, and then leans forward slightly to add, “again.”

You bite into your lip to suppress your widening grin.

“I was hoping I’d run into you, actually,” he comments, turning away to flag down the otherwise occupied bartender.

“Oh yeah?” you ask, feigning surprise.

“Yeah,” Bradley responds, tapping on his beer bottle and nodding at the bartender. He turns back to you and shrugs. “Saves me from having to fake an illness to come see you.”

You eye him somewhat reproachfully. “That would be extremely inappropriate.”

Bradley laughs. “If you think that’s inappropriate, I’m not gonna tell you what I planned on doing once I got there.”

Your eyes widen at the insinuation. “Lieutenant!” you exclaim.

Bradley continues chuckling. “Don’t worry, you’d have liked it.” He winks and then nods at the bartender who’s brought him his beer.

You stare at him because his boldness is mindboggling. “You shouldn’t be drinking with a head injury,” you point out.

He looks at you with amusement. “What head injury?”

“The one that brought you to my office?”

“You know what brought me to your office?” he says, and then points a thumb over his shoulder at a crowded table near the back of the bar. “Captain Maverick Mitchell. My self-appointed father figure,” he says in a tone that’s half-grudging, half-affectionate. “And possibly fate,” he adds as an afterthought.

You blink at him skeptically when he glances back at you. “Wow,” you say. “Pulling out the big guns.”

Bradley laughs again. “I have quite the arsenal.”

“Oh, I bet,” you say with a chuckle. “Aviator, right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bradley responds proudly. Then he nods at the glass you bring to your lips. “Looks like you need a refill.”

You shake your head. “I was about to head out actually.”

Bradley purses his lips and narrows his eyes. “But then I arrived and changed your mind, right?”

You laugh slightly. “Not quite, Lieutenant,” you respond, rising from your stool and waving at the bartender. “I’ve got an early morning.”

Bradley gets out of his seat and pulls out his wallet. “Allow me, please,” he says.

“That’s not necessary,” you reply uncomfortably. You don’t like feeling indebted to anyone.

Bradley gives you a more serious look. “It’s the least I could do for nagging you this evening.”

You can’t help the smile that spreads of its own accord. You find Bradley reasonably attractive, sure. But it’s the way he carries himself that’s really got you hooked. You can hardly pull your gaze away. “Don’t forget about the part where you were the most obnoxious patient.”

Bradley lets out a hearty laugh. “That deserves a whole pint, Doc.”

You give him a smile. “Maybe another time,” you say politely. Despite his persistence, you can’t jeopardize your position at the clinic by consorting with a patient.

But before you turn to leave, Captain Mitchell approaches the bar and, upon perceiving you, he exclaims, “Oh! It’s the doctor!” He gestures in your direction while looking at Bradley.

Bradley gives him a flat look. “No shit,” he says.

Maverick glances between the two of you and then nods in realization. “You’ve spotted her already.”

You press your lips together to conceal a smile as Bradley brings a hand to his face like he’s thoroughly embarrassed by his ‘self-appointed father figure’. “Hello again,” you say to the captain, extending your hand.

“Good to see you, Doctor,” Maverick replies with a knowing grin, shaking your hand. “Almost didn’t recognized you without the stethoscope.”

“Oh god,” Bradley groans. “That's embarrassing.”

Maverick looks over at him with a confused expression while you giggle. “I was actually planning on scheduling him in for a follow-up,” Maverick says. “Noticed some concerning behaviors.”

You raise your eyebrows while Bradley watches Maverick’s profile incredulously.

“New behaviors?” you ask, glancing back at Bradley.

“No, no.” Maverick waves a hand nonchalantly as he settles onto a barstool. “Not new.”

Bradley shakes his head. “Why are you such a shit disturber?”

Maverick laughs and claps him on the back. “You buy the lady a drink yet?”

You drop your head slightly to hide your growing smile.

“I was trying to,” Bradley declares. “Before your ass showed up.”

You look up apologetically at the two men who are now watching you expectantly. “I’m not…thirsty.”

Maverick winces while Bradley’s shoulders visibly fall. “It’s his fault, isn’t it?” Bradley says, gesturing at Maverick with his thumb again.

“How is it my fault?” Maverick exclaims.

“It’s not his fault,” you attest, glancing at the captain.

“You should talk some more about my concerning behaviors,” Bradley retorts.

Maverick snorts. “I was kidding!” he says. “She knows!” he gestures at you. “You know, right?”

You glance between the two men patiently, wondering if they realize just how much they have in common. “Neither of you is driving tonight, right?” you ask, feeling, for some strange reason, a sense of responsibility for them.

Maverick turns to face you with a jolt. “I’m sober,” he asserts.

Bradley’s eyebrows converge in a dubious expression before he looks back at you. “He’s not driving,” he confirms.

“And you?”

“This is only my second beer!” he exclaims.

You meet his gaze with a smile because you don’t want him to feel attacked. “Okay,” you respond gently. “Drive safe.”

You start to walk away when you hear Bradley say, “Can I walk you to your car, Doc?”

You turn to face him again, about halfway to the door. “You know my name now,” you say, and he grins at you.

“I do,” he agrees. “That was for old times’ sake.”

You sigh. “Sure, Lieutenant. You can walk me to my car.”

…

Out in the parking lot, Bradley muses, “I’m thinking of maybe dislocating my shoulder next week. That’s an easy fix, right?”

You look over at him sharply. “That’s not funny.”

Bradley grins. “Not even a little?”

You roll your eyes at him and continue walking.

“Come on, Doc!” he calls after you. “My sense of humor is a good thing, remember?”

You smile to yourself and slow your pace to let him catch up. “There are other ways of getting my attention besides injuring yourself,” you remark as he falls back in step with you.

“Such as?” he asks.

You approach your car and unlock the door. “I can’t give away all the answers, can I?”

Bradley presses his lips together and grins. “Does that mean I have a shot?”

You lower your gaze coyly. “I don’t know, Lieutenant.”

“That’s not a ‘no’,” he points out.

You smile, glancing back up at him. “No,” you agree. “I suppose it’s not.”

Bradley’s eyes sparkle mischievously as he holds your gaze. “Can I take you to dinner?” he asks.

“No,” you reply almost immediately. Then, after a beat, you add, “Not yet.”

Bradley licks his lips, still grinning. “I’ll take it.”

You chuckle slightly, reaching for the door to your car.

“Can I stand here with you a little longer?” he asks, his voice a little more raspy when it isn’t bursting with confidence.

You pause, your hand still on the door, shocked at how desperately you want to oblige. How delightful it would be to just say yes on a whim. Without considering the repercussions or weighing the pros and cons. Without deliberation or apprehension. Impulsively. The word itself makes you flustered. “Okay,” you say, glancing up at him as he shifts a little closer.

Bradley smiles at you and leans his back to the car. He stands quietly for a few moments, just existing beside you, which you find both endearing and infuriating. You don’t have a lot of time on your hands and simply standing around is a colossal waste of it in your books. But something about the warm evening breeze paired with the smell of the ocean and Bradley’s crisp cologne makes the experience less harrowing, and maybe even possibly pleasant.

Still, you’re restless. “So, when you said you wanted to stand here, you actually meant stand here…” you comment.

Bradley glances down at you with an amused expression. “You got something else in mind, Doc?”

You half-snort, half-chuckle. “I just thought maybe you had something else to say. I didn’t realize we’d be standing in silence.”

Bradley grins at you. “It’s called being present.”

You study him with a slight grimace, genuinely trying to keep your cynicism at bay. Being present isn’t a kind of luxury you can often afford. Most days, you don’t even get a chance to eat sitting down. “What does that accomplish?” you ask.

Bradley, who’s still watching you with a smile, replies, “Does everything you do have a purpose?”

“Of course,” you say. “Why else would I do it?”

Bradley raises his eyebrows and puts his hands into his pockets. “That’s very practical of you.”

“It’s efficient,” you point out, trying to highlight the importance of productivity.

Bradley nods patiently. “Sounds like you need a night off, Doc.”

You laugh. “I just had a night off. But it had a purpose – my friend needed help wooing the bartender.”

Bradley chuckles. “Has the purpose ever been to just have a good time?”

You make a face and shrug. “That’s not really a priority of mine.”

“Wow, Doc, you’re a hoot,” Bradley replies facetiously.

“I warned you,” you remind him, opening your car door.

Bradley leans his arm over the frame of your car as you climb inside. “You know you leave me no choice, right?” he says, ducking his head slightly to peer into the vehicle.

“What are you talking about?” you ask, glancing up at him.

“We’re going to have to rearrange your list of priorities,” he says.

You watch him for a moment, marveling at his persistence. His gaze drops briefly to your lips before flitting back up to your eyes again, and you wonder what it might feel like to be kissed by a guy like Bradley. It would probably be sexy and spontaneous. It would probably catch you off guard and possibly even offend you a little. Then again, maybe you wouldn’t mind being mildly offended if it meant kissing Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw. “I’m not sure that’s a realistic goal,” you say. Your tone might be sarcastic, but the statement is fairly accurate.

Bradley grins. “I don’t mind a challenge.”

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[yanderemommabean]

Oh, oh, oh! Yandere virus, but it one day coming into school, the girls who normally bully you are acting strange. When you see them in the hallway, you are expected to be laughed at or shoves to the ground. However, you didn't expect to be shoved against the wall as they stare you down with a dangerous and lustful glint in their eye, telling you about all the plans they have in store for you. They force you to wear matching clothes and make sure everyone knows who you belong to and not to even try anything. Maybe you're forced to live in the house. Bonus if the other hold you down as the ring leader eats you out, as the others tell you how cute you are uwu

“Ah ah ah. You aren’t going anywhere” A voice chirps in your ear. You wince, sighing as the three surround you once again as class is dismissed and everyone heads to the dorms for the evening. Honestly, if you were perhaps a bit stronger, a bit less self conscious, you might spit in their faces and make a run for it. Sadly, you aren’t some badass (and admittedly, one dimensional) character and are frozen in place as they wait for the others to leave. 

They don't intervene. They know better. These young women have power, wealth, and beauty in their arsenal, and aren't afraid to use it to get what they want, and to silence anyone who complains. Phoebe, Sadie, and Naomi, all from powerful families who more or less run this college and the town. You don't doubt they paid the administrators and dean to get into this place, while you had to work hard and prove yourself. 

None of that matters at the moment. Currently, Phoebe was twirling her fingers in your hair like you two were close friends or even dating, smiling almost wickedly at you as her eyes, usually hazel, now with an odd pink ring, stare at you like you were some prey about to be eaten and devoured. Usually they just shove you around and make fun of your clothes, but today…Something's off. Very very off. 

“Isn’t she so cute you guys?” She says, sickly sweet, you want to say mocking but no, it's like there’s something more flirtatious with it. “Oh definitely, I just want to sink my teeth in her, you know? Make her whimper” Naomi adds on, hand to her cheek as she stares at you like one would a puppy being precious. Oh god hearing that made you think they were about to hurt you or humiliate you in some way. 

Sadie just sighs, not in your direction, looking over her shoulder to make sure the halls were clear, and once they were truly empty of everyone else, she made sure the grip on your wrists were tighter. “Listen up. We have some new rules set in place, and you, adorably obedient as you are, are going to follow them”. Oh wow. The audacity. Then again you never really put up a fight so, are they really wrong? What other choice did you have anyway? If they wanted to, they could make your family kicked out of town and their jobs nonexistent. It’s best to just grit your teeth as best you can. 

While you tried to listen, Phoebe made sure she got closer, her hand on you as well, but more exploring, sliding up and down your sleeve and trying to dip her fingers into the hem to feel your wrist, dragging them up and down softly as Sadie began to speak again. “You’re ours. Simple as that. No more avoiding the lobby when we’re there, no more trying to get little study dates away from the school library, no more trying to hide from us”. “I'm sorry what-” “Ah ah, she’s not finished cutie” Naomi says with a gentle touch slowly sliding to your waist, her cold fingertips acting like they wanted to slide under your shirt to feel the warmth of your skin, her brown eyes also having that odd pink ring in her iris. “Go on Sadie, she’ll be good and listen. She always is” 

You felt your cheeks grow impossibly hot, words failing you as all three of these girls began to more or less feel you up and tell you that…That you were theirs? Whatever that could mean? Sadie just sighs, more playful this time as she cups your cheek and makes you look at her, the same weird coloration in her eyes. “You’re ours. No more private study dates, no more drabby clothes, no more avoiding food when we’re in the commons or cafeteria, just a lot more rules and a lot more dress code for you. Tsk, I can’t tell if I want you in a skirt, or if I'd stab any bastard who’d look at you when you wear one. Maybe some cute pants? Ugh they’d still lay their eyes on you either way, makes me want to just call mom and have the banks foreclose their houses”. 

“Please Don’t-” “Ah ah, don’t even try it. You’re ours, if we want to punish people for looking at our puppy, we will” Phoebe comments, her fingers moving to hold your hand and give the top of it a gentle kiss. “Speaking of puppy” Naomi mentions, nodding her head towards the others, and before you can blink you’re turned over, face to the wall. You hear Sadie murmur something as she rummages through her bag for a moment, and you feel her hands slide around your throat before something clicks behind your head, and your eyes widen in horror.

“There we go! I made sure it wouldn’t be too tight, the guy who made it for me was such an artist about it, I love it! If he would’ve said no, you know I’d have his business ruined” She mentions casually, getting a few soft giggles in agreement. 

“Here sweetie! Have a look at how cute you are when you show that you belong to us” Naomi says, handing you her phone as a mirror. You feel weak and shaky as your fingers come up to touch the bright pastel pink leather, a metal heart in the center pressing against your throat. You reach around to feel the back and feel a harsh shock to your fingers, making you yelp. 

“Oh, sweetheart, don't try and take it off! It was so expensive but I got a cute one to work as a shock collar. Shower safe but anytime you take one, one or all of us will be with you, so you won't have to worry about taking it off yourself. We’ll talk more about the rules later in our dorm”. You shiver, unable to think of how to talk. What in the fuck could you even say? You just had a designer shock collar put on you by your bullies! Who are now acting like you were their chew toy or pet no less. “O-our dorm?”.

Phoebe nods, gently stroking your hair “Yeah, duh! How else will we keep a better eye on you? Cameras are fine and all but I prefer to make sure you’re warm with one of us sharing a bed with you. Plus, it’s easier to kiss you good morning faster”. “K-Kiss?!” You almost shriek, only for Naomi to softly hush you with a finger to your lips. “Now now, don’t get loud! We don’t need that just yet”. She pouts, hearing her phone going off and checking the time. “Well, we have to split for now, I have a dinner with mom and dad. You two take her to the dorm and tell me how she acts! Don't do anything more pretty please? We said we’d share her”. 

You don't get much out before Naomi heads off, Phoebe and Sadie gripping your arms a bit too firmly to lead you, talking back and forth like you weren’t making a practical death march down to their dorm room. 

Oh God what’s going to happen once that door is shut?

-Mommabean (Hiya! Sorry for lack of smut but I am proud I wrote this much at least lol. If you beans want i can do a part two! Wanted to try and flesh this out before anything too intense ya know? Anyway I hope you like! Lemme know if you do!)

[moonlight-alexia]

close to you | k.m./c.f.

katie mccabe x caitlin foord x child!reader | 2.9k | how your mammy's jersey's came to be on your wall and you asking caitlin to add hers next to your mammy's

ˏˋ°•*⁀ this is part of my new little starfish universe. this was the idea that started the thoughts of this whole universe tbh. i always thought this would be a cute little concept so i hope you all love it like i do

You didn’t like the dark, so your mammy got you a nightlight and made sure it was turned on and working every time before she went to bed. But she’d always wake up to you there in her bed.

You didn’t like the silence of the night, or the occasional creeks of the house, so your mammy got a little echo dot for your room. Connecting it with the house so she could make sure soft music was playing to drown out the noises of the house. But she’d still always wake up to you in her bed the next morning.

You were convinced that something scary was in your wardrobe or under your bed, so your mammy would check every night before she went to bed. But she’d always wake up to you crying out for her. When she took the doors off your wardrobe and added fairy lights to keep the dark areas light and when she still woke up to you either crying out for her or in her bed, she didn’t know what else to do.

Katie didn’t know when she let you sleeping in her bed become a habit but she knew that it was one that would be tough to break. She liked having you close, knowing you were safe if you were in her arms, but she knew that you had to try sleeping in your own bed before you were both too dependent on each other.

Having tried everything Katie could think of, she almost gave up temporarily on trying to get you to stay in your own room overnight. Almost, until you basically gave her the answer that she had needed.

Another morning you’d woken up in your mammy’s arms after sneaking into her bed during the night again, ‘Good morning my little starfish,’ Katie brushed your baby hairs out of your face, smiling down at you.

‘Mornin’ mammy,’ Your voice, small and soft, only just having woken up, you cuddled more into your mammy. Though you clung onto her when you felt Katie start to move you off of her. Your mammy laughed a little, you’d always do this thinking that you were able to keep her down and stop her from moving. You might be little but you always had this determination.

‘I like being close to you mammy,’ Your words continued to play in Katie’s mind while she continued to do your hair, until an idea finally appeared, her final attempt at getting you to stay in your own room overnight.

‘Which one’s would you like, starfish?’ Your mammy had laid out a few of her Ireland jerseys and some of her Arsenal jerseys in front of you.

It was a hard decision, because you liked all that had mammy’s name and number on them and all of them had that on them. Eventually you had decided on one Ireland and one Arsenal, the Arsenal jersey being from the recent season since they’d also given you your own mini Arsenal kit so that one you chose would match that.

The next day when you’d come home from spending the day with Beth, Viv and Myle, you hugged your mammy tightly, ‘Starfish, I’ve got a surprise for you,’

‘What is it mammy?’ Katie carried you to your bedroom, covering your eyes before you both entered the room. Your eyes widened when you saw your newly decorated walls with mammy’s jerseys, ‘Looks so cool,’ You wiggled out of Katie’s arms and climbed onto your bed to get a closer look.

‘Gotta be careful starfish, can look but don’t touch them,’ Katie was quick to say when she noticed your little hand reaching up to touch the frames that the jerseys were in, ‘Now, even while you sleep, I’ll always be close to you,’ Your mammy kneeled on the bed behind you, wrapping her arms around you.

‘I love you mammy,’ 

‘I love you starfish,’

Your mammy’s jerseys on the wall was the perfect solution to you sleeping in your own bed, though every now and then when you’d have a bad dream you’d still sneak in or cry out for her. But for most nights since you loved sleeping in your own room. 

The jerseys you had on your wall were quite important to you. Every night since their addition, you’d say goodnight to each one and look up at them while falling asleep. It gave you a sense of comfort that helped you each day and only because they are your mammy’s and she gave you that sense of comfort and safety normally each day.

It was always you and mammy and mammy’s friends. ‘It takes a village’ well your village was arsenal, you were being raised there. There wasn’t a day where your little self wasn’t running around with the arsenal girls. You didn’t have favourites but you did have those that you’d gravitate towards. 

Laia, Kyra and Vic would always keep up with your energy and pull you in to cause mischief around the training grounds. Beth, and Viv, had Myle and that was an instant win in your eyes. Caitlin, well Caitlin was your mammy’s best friend who was always around and then became your mammy’s best friend who was always at your house and now also stayed there.

Katie was worried about how you’d react to her relationship with Caitlin and how it might change the dynamic in the house, but she honestly had nothing to worry about. You’d been around Caitlin enough beforehand that she was a familiar presence in your life. 

Some moments were a bit rocky, but you and Caitlin eventually found your dynamic and Caitlin quickly became your ‘Caity’ as you called her. At first your mammy thought you’d learnt her name and started to call her that instead of mammy, ‘No mammy, Caity,’ You pointed towards Caitlin, ‘My Caity,’ You smiled and so did both Katie and Caitlin. Caitlin had become someone in your life, close to what your mammy was to you. 

Caitlin became part of your daily routine, part of your night routine. Both your mammy and your Caity would squeeze into your little bed with you, read you a little book before you’d say goodnight to them both along with the jerseys of course. After a little while, it felt like something was missing. You couldn’t figure it out, but you felt a bit of unease when they’d both leave you for the night. 

Though you continued to go about your days, that feeling that something was missing was easy to ignore during the day but at night it always crept back to the forefront of your mind. It wasn’t until you were skipping along following your mammy around the pitch after a match when you were looking around at some of the signs that the fans were holding.

‘...can I have your jersey?’ Was what you read on the sign. It felt like everything in your mind cleared and it all made sense. You were missing Caitlin’s jersey on your wall. When they’d both leave your room, you’d still be left with your mammy’s presence but you didn’t have Caitlin’s.

‘Mammy, I’m gonna go to Caity,’ You tugged on your mammy’s shirt so she’d let you go off by yourself over towards where Caitlin was interacting with fans.

‘Alright starfish, be safe and go straight there,’ You laughed loudly when your mammy picked you up and threw you in the air before catching you again, ‘Tell Caity I love her,’ A kiss on your forehead and you were set back on the ground making your way to Caitlin.

The fans made your appearance known to Caitlin before you did, turning around to watch you skip your way across the pitch to her. Smiling wide and instantly scooping you up into your arms, resting you on her hip, ‘My favourite little starfish,’ 

You smiled wide at Caitlin and gave a little wave to the fans that you were near. You liked the fans, they’d give you bracelets and want you to sign their things and they were always nice to you so you’d always be nice back to them. 

‘Caity,’ You turned your attention back to Caitlin, grabbing onto the front of her jersey a little, ‘Can I have this? I’ve got mammy’s but I need yours please,’ You gave her your best pout in the hopes it would persuade her to say yes in case she’d say no, even though she couldn’t say no to you, ‘Don’t tell mammy though!’ Your eyebrows furrowed together, a big frown on your face and the fans that overheard and saw the interaction promised to keep it to themselves.

Even though Caitlin would almost give you anything you wanted, she was still a little confused as to why you wanted her jersey, ‘Why do you want mine, starfish?’ Caitlin was still holding you on her hip, your head laying on her shoulder. You were getting tired, match days were always a big day for you, and cuddling more into Caitlin so she’d taken you both away from the fans and down the tunnel a little bit while you waited for Katie to join the two of you.

‘When you and mammy say goodnight, mammy still stays but you’re gone and I need both you and mammy with me,’ Caitlin was the one to help Katie put her jersey’s on your wall while listening to the story that led up to why Katie was doing this, so Caitlin wasn’t unfamiliar and connected what you were talking about. Your eyes had closed not long after you spoke, Caitlin’s never left you. Her eyes lighting up in a way that they only really do when she looks at you, though it was definitely a different kind of shine they held when looking at you. 

‘What’s got you so smiley?’ Katie smiled when she caught the sight of you and Caitlin, wrapping her arm around Caitlin’s waist and giving you a light kiss on your forehead not wanting to wake you up.

‘Just thinking of how much I love starfish,’ Caitlin spoke so softly and her eyes didn’t leave you. Letting out a soft, content sigh before looking at Katie, ‘And how much I love you,’ 

‘Such a charmer,’ Katie chuckled softly, a soft kiss shared between them before continuing to walk down to grab their things and yours as well, ‘I love both you and starfish too,’ 

A few days after that match it was just you and Caitlin at home while your mammy was out for the day. You were bouncing around holding the jersey that you’d asked Caitlin for the other day, the frames were all picked out and you couldn’t be more excited, ‘Got to pick a aus-aust,’ Your eyebrows scrunched together, if there was any word that would be your enemy it would be australia. Letting out a little huff you remembered what you’d learnt from Kyra when she noticed you struggling the first time saying it, ‘A straya one now!’ 

Caitlin let out a little laugh while muttering under her breath, ‘Spending too much time with Kyra,’ The attempt at mimicking their accents would never not be amusing on top of your already mixed accent, ‘What about this one starfish?’ Caitlin was holding up her jersey from the world cup, the match against Ireland.

You recognised the flag on the jersey, lifting your hand to hover your finger over it, ‘Mammy lost,’ As soon as you said that, Caitlin was instantly worried that she’d chosen the wrong one to suggest. Even though she thought it would be the perfect one since it was still connected to your mammy but also since you’re Irish and Caitlin’s Australian that it could display the connection between the two of you, ‘But Caity won. I love it, thank you Caity,’ You beamed, grabbing out for the jersey while jumping on top of Caitlin and wrapping your little arms around her.

Having both Caitlin’s Arsenal and Australia jersey’s in your arms, they were one step away from officially being placed on your wall. It took Caitlin a bit longer than it did Katie to put the jersey’s on the wall, being Caitlin’s only helper was you and your little arms wouldn’t reach. But you helped by getting distracted with everything in your room and talking Caitlin’s ear off with whatever new facts you’d learnt recently.

‘There we go!’ Caitlin took a step back, proud that she had managed to finally hang the jersey’s so they were level and not on a slight lean.

The first time you saw it all put together, nothing else could take your eyes away from it. In your heart you could feel that everything felt right now, the piece that was missing was finally found and put into place. You jumped up on your bed and lifted your hand up towards the frames, ‘Be careful starfish, you can look but don’t touch them. Want to keep you safe,’ Looking back at Caitlin, you smiled. Those were the same words your mammy said when she’d just put her jersey’s up. Caitlin was your Caity and you just knew she was going to be that for forever and you couldn’t be more happy to have her in your life.

‘Caity,’ You looked up at Caitlin’s jersey’s, ‘Mammy,’ Looking back at your mammy’s, ‘My Caity and my mammy,’ Caitlin smiled wide while looking at you, she didn’t know what she’d done to deserve to have this role in your life but she would always cherish it. In Caitlin’s eyes you were perfect. 

‘My starfish,’ You laughed loudly when Caitlin came up behind you and scooped you up into her arms, tickling your sides a little, ‘Forever going to be my little starfish,’ 

‘Even when I’m big and stronger than you and mammy?’ You held up your arm and tried to ‘flex’ just like you’d seen your mammy and Kyra do so many times around training, they’d even tried to teach you how to.

Caitlin laughed, you really were just a tiny Katie, ‘You could be a thousand times stronger than us and you’d still be our little starfish,’ Your nose scrunched up when Caitlin tapped it lightly.

‘I can’t wait for mammy to see,’ As if on cue you heard the jingle of keys in the front door and knew it was your mammy, ‘Mammy! C’mon Caity,’ You slid off Caitlin’s lap, grabbing a hold of her hand, dragging her to where your mammy had just walked through the door.

Like always your mammy knelt down and held out her arms for you to run into, picking you up and spinning you around. It was the same every time and every time it would make you giggle, ‘I missed my little starfish,’ Your mammy kissed your forehead gently, ‘And I missed you too,’ Katie, still holding you in her arms, leaned over towards Caitlin, giving her a little kiss. Even with it being a short kiss, they both still felt your little hands pushing at their faces.

‘No, no time for that,’ They both smiled and laughed, Caitlin knew you were excited to show your mammy the newest additions to your room. You were excited, you know your mammy would be happy to see. Caitlin was important in your life and you knew she was important to your mammy, ‘I got a surprise for you mammy,’ 

‘Oh? A surprise for me?’ Katie raised her eyebrows, holding you out a little so she could properly look at you. You gave her an enthusiastic head nod with a small ‘mhm’, gripping onto your mammy’s shirt, ‘Well I guess I can’t keep you waiting, unless,’ Katie dragged out her words, teasing you. You let out a small huff, ‘Just kidding starfish,’ 

‘Caity, cover mammy’s eyes!’ You exclaimed once your mammy placed you back on the ground. Katie rolled her eyes when she felt Caitlin cover them, you took hold of your mammy’s hand and led her to your bedroom, ‘1…2…3…now Caity!’

Following your instructions, Caitlin removed her hands, a soft and quick kiss on Katie’s cheek, ‘You’re going to love this,’ And Caitlin was right. There weren’t any words that could express just how much Katie loved the sight in front of her.

Katie loved the relationship you and Caitlin had grown to have, how you also saw Caitlin as an important part of your life. Your mammy listened to you, her eyes a little glossy but all from how much happiness she was feeling, while you told her exactly why you’d asked Caitlin for her jerseys. How the arsenal one matches both yours and your mammy’s, you did ask if you could have an arsenal jersey with your name and Caitlin’s number so you could wear that to the matches sometimes. 

Your mammy listened to every word you had to say and at the end she gave you the biggest hug you’d ever had before. Looking over Katie’s shoulder you signalled for Caitlin to join. Caitlin joined the two of you, wrapping her arms around you both, kissing both of your foreheads. The three of you were wrapped up in each other's embrace and in each other's love. There was no doubt that you weren’t loved.

‘My mammy, my Caity,’ You whispered out, cuddling further into the two of them. 

Katie and Caitlin looked at each other, then back at you, ‘Our little starfish,’

[honeytonedhottie]

extra self care routine⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍦

this 8 step self care routine is meant to be super DUPER over the top but its intended more so to make u feel like the goddess that u are and to simply pamper, and spoil urself as u should...plus you'll smell like a cupcake after 🎀

warning, LONG post ahead but thats because i tried to be thorough and clear on the steps of this 8-step routine.✨🧁

STEP ONE ; ICING UR FACE

the benefits of facial icing include more radiant skin, helps with spider lines, and blemish control. if u wanna know more about icing ur face i recommend u read this.

but typically you'll fill up a bowl with some water and ice and dunk ur face in the ice in 60 second intervals (thats how i like to do it) or you take an ice cube and run that on ur skin.

STEP TWO ; OILING UR HAIR

i personally dont recommend oiling ur hair overnight, once u apply ur hair oil into ur hair let it sit for 30 minutes - 4 hours depending on how much time u have on ur hands, but if ur gonna do the 8 step self care ritual i would assume u had some time.

use the scalp massaging tool for blood flow to ur head and MASSAGE. imagine all of ur stress seeping out of ur body. it might sound strange, but when im doing this step i imagine myself rearranging and organizing my thoughts 💀.

while ur doing this whole routine i recommend playing an affirmation tape in the background, or ur favorite playlist. 🧁

STEP THREE ; MASKS

next i'll use a spray bottle and wet my hair before going in with my hair mask, and once thats in ur hair use the claw clip to keep ur hair up and out of ur face.

now its time for the facial mask and i recommend keeping kind of an ARSENAL of masks, whether its a liquid or clay mask or sheet masks just have them on u because i usually do face masks of any sort 1-2 times a week for my LUSTROUS glow.

while u have the hair and face masks in, its a good time to do some dry brushing to remove dead skin cells and improve blood circulation. some other masks that u can do to be EXTRA are lip masks and under eye masks.

STEP FOUR ; IN THE SHOWER

wash ur hair as you would usually do, use the body scrub before using a body wash that has similar tones to the body scrub (this is called scent layering) and while in the shower i recommend to do a shower meditation.

if y'all r interested i'll make a shower meditation guide and u can record ur own voice doing the meditation so u can use it ✨

while ur in the shower make sure to be meticulous and take ur time while u wash ur body. do double cleansing so that u can ensure that you're squeaky clean.

now is also the time to shave if u like to do that and remember use a body scrub BEFORE u shave and once ur out of the shower to use a body oil to prevent ingrowns and to just have a smoother shave in general.

STEP FIVE ; OUT OF THE SHOWER

use ur body oil and ur body lotion, this kind of goes along with the before bed slugging notion which gives the SOFTEST most amazing skin in the morning so i highly recommend it.

HOT TIP FROM HONEY ; using a warmed up towel adds to the whole spa experience so i def recommend that, warming up towels/blankets/robes makes me feel so cozy and toasty 🧋✨

the formula for before bed slugging is (body oil + body lotion + a thick body butter/cream)

STEP SIX ; REPAIR AND REPLENISH

once your out of the shower and you’ve slugged ur body, use a leave in conditioner to repair and soothe damaged hair.

use a face milk

cuticle oil

now’s the time to use pimple patches

and things of that nature in general

this ensures that ur being absolutely meticulous and replenishing ur body the proper way. taking care of ur base so that u can make it absolutely GLOW ✨

STEP SEVEN ; FACIAL MASSAGE

use a gua sha and any other facial massage tools to help blood circulation and just be EXTRA. to sculpt ur face like the goddess you are.

facial massage stimulates blood circulation, promoting oxygen flow and nutrient delivery to the skin cells. facial massage helps to release the tension held in the facial muscles, alleviating stress lines and promoting a more youthful appearance.

AND if ur consistent with facial massage, you'll can enhance skin elasticity AND diminish fine lines.

STEP EIGHT ; YOGA AND STRETCHES

nothing feels better then massaging and stretching stiff limbs, especially if u have pains or aches in ur body. look up a follow along, super light, yoga routine or a stretching routine.

i think that a rly good stretch is the perfect way to end ur super duper over the top 8 step self care routine 💗🎀

[greynatomy]

da da da n da da

leah williamson x reader

what can she not do?

literally didn’t know what to title this

whenever i hear this song i think of the princess diaries

———

“Hey, babe!”

“Yeah?” You hear her call out.

“Can you come here for a bit?”

Leah comes into the room, sweat dripping down her face.

“Whats up?”

“I’ve got this song I just came across after how long and honestly I forgot about it.” You grab a guitar from the wall. “Would you like to hear it?”

—

The team was out and about the training center doing their own thing. Leah, not knowing what to do this on pastime, spotted Jen’s guitar at her cubbie. Carefully picking it up, she sits at a her spot, remembering what you taught her.

—

You and Leah were sat in your backyard seating, enjoying the fresh air.

“This one right here is a C chord.”

You each had a guitar, Leah asking you to teach her not long after you’d played the song for her for the first time.

“Like this?” She asks, eyes concentrated on her fingers.

“Move your middle finger down a string. There. Now strum one time for me.”

She strums, the sound was a bit choppy, but not bad for the first time.

“Hey! That’s wasn’t bad at all. You’ll be a two instrument playing girl in no time!”

A blush creeps up on her face, the compliment making her feel a bit giddy.

—

She starts strumming the guitar exactly like how you taught her, stumbling a couple of times.

Da da da n da da, Da da da n da da

—

Da da da n da da da

You were in your studio, finally recording the song that’s been in the archives for so long. Leah wanted to come along to see the process. Intrigued, Leah asked what it felt like to be in the booth.

“Why don’t you find out yourself?”

Leah comes into the booth with you, helping her put the headphones on and giving her forehead a kiss. Exiting the booth, you take a seat next to your producer.

“Try the intro for me, babe.” You press a button, talking to her through the headphones. Turning to your producer, you talk to him on mute to Leah. “Record this for me, yeah. Might come in handy.”

—

“Hey, what song is that?”

“Fuckin’ hell Jen! Scared the shit out of me.” Leah flinches, placing a hand on her chest.

“Sorry.” Jen winces. “But what song is that? Never heard of it before.”

“It’s just something the missus wrote.”

A few days later, the team was over at your’s and Leah’s house for a little listening party. You never liked to do the whole extravagant listening parties that most artists do and wanted to keep it intimate with your friends and family. Ever since you met Leah, the Arsenal team became your family too.

“Alright. So this song has been in the back burner for quite some time and recently rediscovered it. So without further ado.” You click play on your laptop.

You have your eyes on Leah the whole time. From the first note, there’s a recognition in her eyes, eyebrows furrowed trying to figure out what it is. She listens to the song intently, as do the others, mouthing the words.

As the song ends, everyone was saying their praises, cheering you on, but Leah, Leah had tears in her eyes.

“Was that- was that me? Did you put me in it?” She stutters, using the sleeve of her jumper to wipe her tears.

“Well, yeah. You’re my muse so why not add my muse to the song.” You shrug, heat creeping up your face.

She gets up from where she sat, grabbing your face to bring you into a kiss.

“Awww- Ow.”

“Kyra don’t ruin the moment.”

[scribblesofagoonerr]

I'm not even that sick!

Pt. 1 of my new mini fic series, our wonder kid.

This fic series is based around an ask I had a while back where the reader is the teen prodigy for both Arsenal and England, and she deals with a serious injury with the help of her mother figures and the rest of the team.

I thought now would be a good time to write this as I'm currently ill and feeling sorry for myself, so this is the result of my self-wallowing and pity party, although it might be a bit scrappy.

Let me know what you think!

"Y/N, wake up" The voice of your Dutch teammate and housemate calls out to you from down the hall.

"Ugh noooo" You whine as right on queue, your alarm on your phone starts to blare as you automatically lean over to the left side to try and reach out to shut the sound of it off to stop it from making your head pound even more than it already does.

"Y/N, are you up yet? Training starts in an hour!" The loudness of Beth makes you scrunch your face up tightly as you shove the pillow over your face. "Y/N!?" she shouts.

"M' up, m' getting up now" You respond tiredly as you try to force yourself up from the cocoon of your duvet that you're currently buried in.

Eventually, you have mustered the energy to manovoure to sit on the side of your bed in a haze as you let out a small cough, trying to ignore the blatant rough feeling in your throat.

You can't help but feel like you've been hit by a bus, which would be putting it lightly.

You've always been prone to get ill quickly but you're also incredibly stubborn to admit it, so you'll push yourself and put your health at risk.

"Y/N, are you-- Whoa kid, you don't look great at all" Beth notes when she pops her head around the door and takes in the disheveled expression that's plastered on your face.

"Gee thanks Beth" You mutter while trying to push past the aching feeling that's taken over your whole body to stand up from your bed and walk over to the wardrobe to grab out what you needed, so you could get ready.

"Are you sure you want to go in? I mean, I don't think Jonas will mind if you skip out on training if you're not up to it" The blonde frowns, worriedly.

Letting out a harsh cough that makes you wince in pain, you shake your head in disagreement, "I'll be fine to train, m' not even that sick!" You disagree quietly, pressing your fingers against your tempe to try and massage it to stop the pounding inside your head. "I just need to dose up on some tablets and I'll be good to go" You add.

Beth eyes you wearily and exhales a sigh, "Oookay then, alright if you're sure?" The blonde checks in again for you to only nod in response, leaving you to finish getting ready.

"Y/N, hurry up. Lets' go before we're late!" Beth calls out from the kitchen, taking note of the time on the clock. "What's taking her so long?" She wonders.

"I'll go and find out" Viv exhales a sigh and heads in the direction of your bedroom to find you sprawled out onto the bed fast asleep again. "Y/N... Y/N, wake up" she shakes you lightly.

Somehow, you manage to get ready and then slump back down on the bed, driifting back off to sleep without any realisation of the time ticking before you need to leave the house to go and train.

"H... Huh?" You groan as you blink your eyes open tiredly and stare at the Dutch with a confused expression. "Oh, is it time to go?" You ask.

"It's time to go" Viv frowns as she takes in the sunken expression. "Are you sure you're up for it?" She wonders.

"Yep, m' good. Lets go" You pull yourself up from the bed, ignoring how lightheaded you feel and stumble out of your bedroom while Viv glances at you confused.

"Here she is" Beth jokes as she spots you stumble down the hall.

Another harsh cough escapes your mouth as you hazily shove your trainers on, "M' ready to go now" You tell them.

"Uh, should we be concerned about that?" Viv turns to look at Beth in concern.

"Yes but Y/N's stubborn, remember?" Beth exhales a sigh.

"And she's insisting to go and train?" Viv questions as she looks at you, worriedly.

"God, Y/N looks like death" Laura remarks as she joins the three of you out in the hallway with her training bag draped over her shoulder.

"Yeah, she's not... she's not feeling so great apparently" Beth shakes her head, leading the way outside.

"Should she even be training?" Viv glances at you, sceptically.

"I don't think so but you know how stubborn she is" Beth states.

"I can hear you all, you know? M' fine!" You continue to insist even though the harshness of your throat, it felt like you had swallowed razor blades.

"Your mean when your sick" Laura mumbles, shaking her head as she climbs into the back of the car.

"Shut up, your making my head hurt" You can't help but grumble as you climb in the car. "And m' not sick!" you insist further.

"You totally are" Laura fires back, sticking her head in her phone as she can't help but smirk.

"Am not" You mumble, exhaling a sigh as you feel the cool window against the burning heat radiating from your forehead.

"Great, the kids are fighting; just a typical morning, huh?" Beth jokes with Viv as she climbs in the passenger seat of the car.

"Y/N!" You flinch and fight the urge to groan as you feel the weight of Kyra jump on your back as you're standing in the middle of the gym, trying to middle

"Jesus, Kyra. Why're you so loud?" You huff and whine, wincing at the loudness of the Aussie's voice.

"Are you okay, Y/N/N?" Alessia peers at you with compassion.

"Yeah, you don't look great at all" Vic chips in, concerned.

"God don't you guys start too" You can't help but whine and complain as you struggle to lift the weights in your hands, just as queue as you start to cough again. "M' totally fine, you're all overreacting about this" You tell them.

"Are you sure?" Alessia frowns.

"Should you even be here today?" Vic wonders.

"Seriously, you two as well?" You huff dramatically as you slowly drop the weights on the floor and lift your shirt to wipe the sweat from the top of your head. "M' fine. It's just a little cough" coughs rake through your whole body as you clutch your hand over your heart.

"Take a seat, Y/N... You just need to take it easy, alright?" Alessia gently forces you down to sit on the bench and take some deep breaths, while you're passed your bottle of water to take some small sips.

"You should probably go home" Kyra chips in as you muster the energy you have to glare at her unhelpful comment.

Training is hard to handle, several times you have to stop and take the time to take some deep breaths to stop yourself running out of breath as further harsh coughs rake through your body.

Your throat feels scratchy, your nose won't stop running, and you feel slightly feverish, but you try to push past it to carry on with the sprinting drill you are currently in the middle of.

All of the girls had recognised the telltale signs that you're sick but every time someone tries to mention it, you shut them up with a dirty scowl while you try chug water to get rid of the pain in your throat.

"Wow, you look horrible, baby England" Your Arsenal vice-captain and England captain, Leah, approaches you and pats your shoulder lightly.

It's only a simple gesture, but it makes you wince and groan in pain; your whole body aches, but you're still too stubborn to relent and give in to going home anytime soon.

You just pray you can get through the rest of training, hopefully.

"Oh, thanks, Leah. You're just as charming as Beth is" You say before coughing, while the blonde looks at you knowingly.

"And you say you're not sick, huh?" Leah raises her eyebrow. "Okay, you shouldn't even be here today. You need to go home right now" She states.

"No, m' fine, why do you guys keep making it out like it's such a big deal that I'm sick?" You can't help but whine as you wipe your nose with your hand, which makes the older blonde wrinkle her nose in slight disgust at your action. "It's just a dumb cold that'll pass" You mumble as you huff.

Leah continues to give you a further knowing look, "Really, Y/N? Really?" She asks, knowingly.

"Okay, I feel like I've been hit by a bus... And then it's reversed, and it's hit me again" You mumble quietly, hoping that the blonde didn't hear a word that you say.

"Oh, baby England. You're definitely too sick to be here" Leah takes pity on you and wraps her free arm around your shoulder; you let out another small huff and fight the urge to stop.

You try to keep your eyes from fluttering shut while you stand there and take sips of water between speaking to her.

"Listen, I care about you a lot and that's why I'm pulling rank as your vice-captain..." You're quick to cut her off with a whiny voice.

"No, Leah... No" You interject., trying to object to it.

"You're going home, you're clearly not well enough to train today" The blonde states firmly.

"No, no. M' fine to train" You try and insist, although the sound of your voice makes the blonde think different not to mention the harsh coughing either.

"Uh uh no way, nope. Your going home, baby England" Leah repeats as she gestures Beth to join in the conversation. "Beth, will you please take your sick kid home? She's being stubborn and refusing to go" the blonde chuckles.

"I'm on it, don't worry" Beth ironicically had your bags and her bags ready to go, almost like she was expecting this.

"Why? I don't need to go--" You wheeze and start to cough again, huffing as you try and ignore the looks from the two of them. "I don't need to go home!" You insist.

"C'mon kid, stop being so stubborn. Let's get you home" Beth sympathises with you as she pulls you into her arms.

"I still think you guys are overreacting about this" You grumble as you let out a sneeze and can't help but feel miserable about feeling so sick.

"Quit being stubborn, go home before I get Kim invovled in this" Leah warns, amusedly with a look that almost makes you cower and give in.

"You wouldn't" You mumble, pouting at the blonde.

"Wouldn't I?" Leah fires back, determingly.

You can't help but let out a gasp, "That's cruel. I'm literally... I'm literally fine" You try and insist although the visible bags under your eyes and runny nose say different.

"Uh huh sure I believe you, baby England" Leah can't help but chuckle amusedly as she pats you on the shoulder. "Go home and get better, see you in a few days Y/N!" she states.

"Come on kid lets' go home eh?" Beth gently leads you in the direction of the car, where Viv is already waiting to go.

"M' not even that sick" You mumbe, a barking cough rattles through your whole body as you virtually slump against the blonde as you both walk to the car. "What about Laura?" you wonder.

"Course you're not kid, of course you're not" Beth can't help but laugh in amusement as she helps you into the back of the car and fastens the seatbelt. "And Leah's gonna bring her back, don't worry kid" she reassaures you.

"I give it ten minutes before she's asleep" Viv remarks as she turns her head and see's you already trying to curl up in a ball to sleep.

"I give it five" Beth states as she climbs in the passenger seat, buckling herself in before Viv drives out the car park.

Low and behold, 5 minutes into the car trip back home and you're passed out in the back seat of the car.

"Looks like you win the bet" Viv states, glancing into the rear view mirror to see your sleeping state.

"We're in a long few days with this illness, huh?" Beth remarks, frowning as they both know exactly how it's going to play out.

"Most definitely, good job we're stocked up on medicine already" Viv remarks, knowingly.

"Our wonder kid sure is a stubborn one" Beth mumbles, shaking her head in sympathy.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[goodlucktai]

hold the world to its best (5/?)

rottmnt word count: 2k pairing: raph & OC title borrowed from light by sleeping at last part of the archer au

(prev) (next)

x

Gio is by no means a chatterbox. 

His pattern of speech is the same as when he’s nineteen years old, littered with careful pauses, slow to string words together. He tacks on ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ at the end of everything like someone is waiting around the corner to grade him on his manners. He visibly overthinks it every time he opens his mouth to say anything at all. 

If Raph had a dollar for every time Gio looked up at him to make sure it was okay for him to speak, he’d have enough money to buy the state of New York by the end of the week. And he can’t think about why that is, because then anger and hurt and a wailing sense of unfairness that feels like a little kid stomping their feet shouting ‘no no no!’ will swell inside him until he has to do something with all of it, like break a wall. And he can’t break a wall because that would scare the baby. So he can’t think about it. 

But Gio doesn’t need any prompting or encouragement when Splinter comes home from a last-minute run to Stop & Shop. There’s supposed to be a storm tonight, and traveling through flooded tunnels is no one’s idea of a good time, especially not with groceries for a family of eight. 

“Someone needs to go unpack the car so all of you must roshambo for it,” Splinter announces by way of hello. 

Everyone else groans but Gio perks right up. He squirms down from the sofa and runs to greet dad with uppy arms and a hopeful, “Papa.” 

A direct hit. The old rat has to take a knee. Not even the Shredder was enough to defeat the former Battle Nexus champion, but a two foot tall baby turtle is another story. 

“Hello my little one,” Splinter chokes out, scooping the spotted turtle right up. “Ah, I have not been welcomed home like this in many years. It’s enough to make an old man nostalgic. Thank you, Gray.”

“Appliance store commercials make you nostalgic,” Donnie says without looking up from his phone. 

“If you tried to pick one of us up like that you’d pull something,” Leo adds. 

“And thank you my obnoxious blueberries,” Splinter says, still in his baby-turtle-voice but with a narrow look over Gio’s head at the peanut gallery that implies they’d both get whacked with his tail if they were within reach. 

Pops must be feeling nostalgic if he’s breaking out that childhood nickname for the twins. Leo was the blue and Donnie was the berry from the ages of zero to about nine, when they had decided they’d outgrown it. Now Donnie looks incredulous and Leo looks deeply embarrassed, like a couple of kids whose mom is blowing kisses at them out the car window in front of all their friends. It has the additional effect of shutting them right up, which might have been what Splinter intended in the first place. Raph is adding that to his arsenal for a rainy day. 

Gio is too well-mannered to demand dad’s attention back like all the rest of his spoiled siblings would have done, but his eyes are big and lamp-like, and he’s wringing his hands against his plastron like someone five times his age, and it gives him away anyway. 

“What’s up, buttercup?” Mikey chirps, swinging around to hang off Splinter’s back and hook his chin over the rat’s shoulder. 

“Gray,” Gio says carefully. Then he points to himself, and does the question-mark wiggle with his pointer finger. Me?

“Yes, you!” Mikey leans over even further to poke Gio’s beak playfully. Splinter is fully supporting the weight of two of his kids at this point, one significantly heavier than the other. “It’s a nickname! We all have them. You’re Spot, and Gray, and Georgie. And Georgathan and Gregory and Jorge and—”

“Point made, Michael,” Donnie says flatly, because he really will just keep going. 

Mirror neurons in full-effect, Gio smiles at Mikey’s smile. Then he fingerspells C-L-E-M and points to himself again. 

“‘Clem’?” Mikey sounds it aloud. “Is that you?”

Gio nods with his fist, and what little expression they’ve coaxed out of him over the last couple of days is evaporating by the second, leaving behind that neutral-faced toddler they first met. Mikey clocks it and straightens, bracing his hands on Splinter’s shoulder to glance over his head at Raph, brow wrinkling beneath his mask. 

Raph, for his part, is marveling at the fact that it has literally never occurred to him to wonder about where the name “Giorgio” came from. Gio told them that he didn’t grow up with them in the future—that he spent the bulk of his childhood in another dimension before making his way back to the one he belonged in. What are the odds that Gio had a matching name before he knew he was part of a set? Obviously he must have been called something else before. 

Donnie is frowning thunderously. When he shoots a sideways look at Leo and raises his eyebrows, Leo only grimaces back in answer, both of them clearly on the same page and not loving what they’ve found there.

“Share with the class, you two,” Raph says for the millionth time in his life, stamping down an ancient annoyance. They claim not to have twin telepathy and then have entire conversations without saying a word. Who are they trying to fool?

“Ugh,” Donnie says. He looks and sounds disgruntled, like he hasn’t decided how upset he needs to be yet but he’s leaning towards ‘very.’ “Clem—I said it earlier, didn’t I? Clemmys guttata. The scientific name for spotted turtles. It’s like if my name was Apa, short for Apalone spinifera. No individuality, no character, no dynamism.”

Splinter’s tail lashes, agitated. “You all had tags on your shells when you were just babies. I kept them because it was the closest thing to a birth certificate I was likely to ever have. They included information such as your weights and sizes, your approximate time of hatching, as well as your genus and species. I still have them in a shoebox somewhere.”

So whoever found baby Georgie after the portal separated him from his family must have seen that tag. They must not have realized that it was the classification of what, not who, he was. 

Raph kind of hates that, actually. Even pets are given names. 

But he also hates the way Gio is getting nervous, making himself smaller where he’s tucked in the crook of Splinter’s arm, like he did something wrong by bringing it up. 

So he steps over and crouches down the way he’s gotten in the habit of doing with his baby-fied older brother. Splinter helps him out by turning slightly so that Gio and Raph are face to face. 

Gio tucks his chin slightly, and it would be easy to mistake the gesture for timid, but Raph knows better. For a second, Gio’s older self shines through. 

The kid isn’t even wringing his hands anymore, just clasping them so tightly it’s causing his dark gray-green skin to blanch. He’s watching his biggest brother with those archer eyes that miss absolutely nothing. He’s prepared for Raph to be angry with him, even though all he’s done is ask a simple question, even though Raph hasn’t so much as frowned at him once. 

Raph cannot break a wall, he reminds himself sternly. 

“Hey, big guy,” Raph says, smiling his biggest and warmest smile. “I’m sorry, it must have been pretty confusing, all of us calling you by some name you didn’t know. Do you want us to call you Clem instead?”

None of them would like doing it, but Gio’s comfort is more important than how the rest of them feel about a name he used to go by. It’s temporary, and Raph’s bratty little brothers will do as they’re told for once, or he’s putting them in air jail. All of them, air jail. 

But Gio shakes his head fast. He signs ‘no,’ too, touching his fingers to his thumb. 

“No, please,” he adds for good measure. “I want to be Gio.”

“Gio it is,” Raph says firmly. 

Mikey plants both his hands on Raph’s left shoulder and pushes with all his might. Raph doesn’t move, but Splinter is propelled a step backwards. Mikey uses the space he created to flip over dad and land nimbly in front of him and scoop the baby out of his arms. 

Gio doesn’t react beyond an initial widening of his eyes. A few days of constant exposure to Michelangelo has acclimated even the most cautious child in the world to his whimsy and enthusiasm. When Mikey smushes their cheeks together, Gio even smiles. 

“Do you like bananas?” Mikey asks solemnly. 

“Yes,” Gio says. 

“Do you like cake?”

“Yes,” their resident sweet-addict says unremarkably, like that isn’t the understatement of all time. Leo makes an incredulous scoffing noise, a laugh that’s trying not to start. He’s probably thinking of the same thing Raph is, which is the time Gio ate six red velvet cupcakes in one sitting and called it breakfast with a straight face. 

“Did you know I made a banana split cake for dessert?” Mikey whispers conspiratorially. “It’s almost ready to eat—I just need someone to help me add all the sprinkles on top.”

“I can help,” Gio says earnestly, leaning away to look up at Mikey with big brown eyes. Every person in the room would give him anything he wants, no exceptions, but probably the only thing he wants now in the whole entire world is to help with the sprinkles. 

“Aw, Georgie, I knew I could count on you! Helper gets first dibs, so let’s go make sure you get the best piece!”

Raph drags Leo with him to go haul in the groceries. Leo complains about it while in earshot of everyone else, but he doesn’t actually hate one-on-one time with his second-oldest brother. He loves it, actually. He just has to put on a show for no one’s benefit but his own for reasons that are a mystery to everyone but himself. If Raph would have remembered that in those tumultuous months leading up to the invasion, he would have saved himself a lot of grief. 

For now it’s enough to trip Leo and then run ahead of him, hearing the initial startled squawk melt into a competitive cackle and bracing for the weight of a little brother that lands on Raph’s shell moments later. 

Even with the ability to portal back and forth, it makes sense to two teenagers to precariously amass all the shopping bags at once and make a single trip. There’s a paper produce bag of tomatoes that almost doesn’t make it, and would have tipped out all over the kitchen floor if not for the quick save of Mikey’s sunshine-golden magic catch. 

“You boys are too silly for your own good,” Splinter grumps without heat, but he pats Raphael’s arm fondly before elbowing his way through the kitchen toward the fridge. 

Gio is sitting on the edge of the counter, kicking his feet idly and eating maraschino cherries out of the jar that Mikey left unattended. Donnie is leaning against the island beside him, pretending to be absorbed with his phone, but coincidentally within reach if a certain toddler were to slip and fall or start choking. 

Donnie is also, as far as Gio is concerned, the answers guy. He reaches out one pink-stained hand and pats Donnie’s arm very gently. Donnie, who would have no less than twenty things to say to anyone else who dared touch him with cherry fingers, each more scalding than the last, simply says, “Yes, George?”

“What is he like?” Gio asks. 

“Who?”

“Gio,” he says. 

Donnie blinks and sets his phone down. “What are you like? Oh—your older self, you mean?” Gio hesitates, but ultimately nods, and Donnie hums thoughtfully. “How best to describe Hamato Giorgio. A conundrum.”

“He’s so cool,” Mikey pipes up, with a smug glance at Leo. They have newly reached a point in their lives where it’s tentatively okay to make jokes about certain aspects of the day the world almost ended, depending on the joke. Leo’s early-onset hero worship of the long-lost Kraang-killing brother who’d brought him home that day is always okay to joke about, because Leo isn’t teased until he’s red in the face and sinking into his shell nearly enough. 

Leo scowls and shoves a carton of eggs at Mikey for him to put away, but noticeably does not refute the statement. 

“He’s a tank,” Raph adds, smiling automatically when Gio’s big dark eyes find him. “Steady as a rock, rolls with the punches. When he gets knocked down, he doesn’t stay down for long.”

“Proficient at his chosen craft,” Donnie says. “The tool he uses requires precision, focus, and hand-eye coordination, often in the middle of confusing or frenetic situations. But he never misses.”

“And he’s nice,” Mikey says, exchanging the jar of cherries in Gio’s hand for a can of cool whip. Gio holds it and has no idea what to do with it, so Mikey forms his fingers around the nozzle and presses, giggling at Gio’s surprised jump. He directs the baby turtle to the dessert dish, and as meticulous as he usually is with his cooking, he lets Gio apply the whipped topping the way he lets his brothers add color to his spray paint murals—as if each clumsy pass and crooked line is a worthwhile addition to his art. He beams every time Gio glances up to make sure he’s doing it right, so warm and bright and indulgent that it’s almost hard to believe he’s been the baby of the family all along. “He always has time for us, day and night. If we need something, he’ll get it. No questions asked,” Mikey goes on.

“Even if maybe a question or two should be asked,” Splinter mutters, likely having a flashback of the absurdly big tuna fish Gio had once brought home after Mikey made a passing remark about wishing he had the means to make sushi for lunch. They had nowhere to put it. They ate sushi for days. But Mikey had squealed with delight when he saw it, which made every single thing anyone else had to say about it a moot point to Giorgio.

“He’s our big brother, and he’s the best,” Leo says, folding his arms on the counter. “Hey, can I get some of that?” He leans over and opens his mouth, and Gio blinks at him, and then down at the can in his hands, and then attempts to apply whipped cream to Leo’s face. Some of it makes it into his mouth, but most doesn’t. Leo laughs, silly and sweet, before it even occurs to Gio to worry that he’ll get scolded, and wipes the errant cream into his mouth with his thumb. “We love him to pieces, and he loves us, too. It’s a good deal all around. Everybody wins.”

Gio gazes up at him, searching his face for something. He nods, and smiles back, and then giggles when Leo scoops some whipped cream out of the dish and smears it onto his nose—at which point Mikey declares Leo banned from dessert prep and Leo says, “Oh, big words from Mr. Eats-Peanut-Butter-With-His-Fingers,” and Donnie picks up both Gio and the discarded cherry jar and relocates the three of them to the other side of the island, out of the line of fire. 

Gio opts to stay in Donnie’s lap rather than return to his seat on the counter. Donnie looks down at the top of his head, but if he’s surprised he doesn’t show it. As all big turtles are wont to do with smaller ones, Donnie will hold him for as long as he wants to be held. 

From the way Gio’s sticky hands clutch Donnie’s arm, as if he might lose it if he doesn’t hold on, that’s one universal truth he hasn’t learned yet.

[p0orbaby]

more Arsenal x young r please

Birds and the Bees

summary: now matter how old you are, you’ll always be a kid to the girls

warnings: suggestive themes but nothing explicit

a/n: more you say

word count: 716

-

"Hold up, what is that?"

You frustratedly swat away the hands that pull at the collar of your hoodie. "Quit poking at it, Steph”

"Is that a love bite?"

"No, Steph, it's not. It's a 'didn't duck fast enough during a corner kick' bruise. Real thrilling, I know”. The team snickers, and you continue, "Anyone else got an investigative report they want to file on my neck? No? Good, let's move on”

Steph grins, "You sure know how to kill the vibe”

"I'm here for football, not to be the subject of a teenage gossip column," you retort, the edge in your tone really showcasing your opinion on the matter.

The locker room falls into a momentary silence before Katie dares to speak up, "Alright, tough cookie. But seriously, who'd dare to leave a mark on you?"

You scoff, "Someone who I don't actually mind invading my personal space. Now, can we get back to training or are we starting a tabloid in here?"

“I’m all for tabloid. I missed Love Island last night so I’m running low on gossip” Alessia says as she settles into her cubby, arms crossed and already invested. “Spill it”

“No! My personal life is none of your businesses”

“Teammates share everything. Don’t be boring”

You shoot Beth a glare, “Teammates share strategies, not the ins and outs of my love life, okay?”

Steph smirks, “Come on, we’re practically family here. No secrets. It’s the rules”

“The rules? Since when?” You argue.

Katie adds, “We’ve all got our stories, kid. But yours just got a bit more interesting and we’ve still got a few minutes ‘til training starts”

Alessia, ever persistent, grins, “We won’t judge. Promise”

You relent, knowing you weren’t getting out of this, “Fine, but this stays within these four walls. Her name’s Eden. Happy now?”

The room erupts into whispers and excited murmurs. Caitlyn leans in, “Eden? And what does Eden like to do in her spare time? Other than suck the living daylights out of your neck, that is?”

You shoot her a deadpan look, “Eden happens to enjoy normal activities. Reading books, going for runs, you know, typical human stuff”

Alessia smirks, “Sounds acceptable enough. How about you bring her to one of our games?”

You roll your eyes, “She’s not into football, Alessia. Besides, I don’t want any of you to meet her”

A collective gasp echoes around the room, and you can’t help but laugh at how dramatic everyone is being.

Beth raises an eyebrow, “Why not? Afraid we’ll scare her away or something?”

You scoff, “yeah, actually. And I really like her so I don’t want you guys to ruin this for me by being all weird and annoying”

“We’re not annoying!” Katie exclaims. “We just look out for you”

Steph adds with a grin, “Exactly, like big sisters. Speaking of which, we might need to give you the talk, you know, now you’re sucking face with someone”

“No. Nope. That’s it. This conversation has officially ended” you state, mortified.

Despite your attempt to escape, the team forms an impromptu blockade, preventing you from leaving the locker room. Steph locks the door with a theatrical click.

Beth smirks, “Looks like you’re stuck with us for a little while longer”

You shoot another annoyed glare at Beth. "This is not what I signed up for today”

Katie chuckles, "Consider it an intervention. You'll thank us later”

Steph adds, "Exactly, it's time for the birds and the bees I think. Big sister style”

"No way. That's not happening," you state firmly, crossing your arms.

Caitlyn, leaning against a locker, grins mischievously. "Oh, we've got to cover all the bases. Safety first”

You roll your eyes. "I'm well aware of safety, thanks. So, for the record, I don't need 'the talk’”

Alessia smirks, "Come on, it's a rite of passage. We all went through it”

Steph raises an eyebrow, "Wait, you haven't had 'the talk' yet?"

"Of course I have, I’m not a child” you snap.

Beth nudges Alessia, "Should we give her the pamphlet?"

Alessia nods in mock seriousness, "Absolutely. And maybe some diagrams for good measure”

You groan, "this is ridiculous. Can we please stop this. You’re all insufferable”

Steph grins, "Sure we can, just not quite yet. We all missed Love Island, remember”

[fashionablyfyrdraaca]

assorted mods for dragon age origins

making a list of origins mods that might be fun for brosca players :D

as asked about by @grifoncito.

keep in mind these might not all work together at the same time. they're just some of the ones i've played with for my custom origins rig. :) i've done a lot of manual file editing etc for my own game and these links are just to the base mods as intended/created by the original authors . also, these aren't all the mods i use. just ones i thought relevant to grifoncito.

please make sure to respect mod author's wishes and follow their instructions carefully when adding their mods to your game if not experienced in mod management

overhauls/changes:

dragon age redesigned by dracomies: changes npcs in base game and many of the DLCs to match their lore/circumstances better.

black hair is black by midnightvoyager: makes player character hair an actual shade of black rather than bluish brownish etc.

tsm vignette be gone by theskymoves: removes the black bars during conversations

natural lighting for the character creator by hoarous: makes it easier to see what your character's actual skin tone and hair color, etc looks like

qwinn's ultimate dao fixpack by qwinn; repairs various bugs in the game that went unfixed by bioware

sjc's patchy skin fix by sammyjc: makes skin look smoother and cleaner. very good for making darker skin tones look human

rls mabari madness by roguelass: provides alternate colors and armors for your mabari companion

of ferelden (improved atmosphere) by darthbdaman: a compilation of patches and changes for the improved atmosphere to make them work friendly

dahlialynn's sleep until dawn by dahlialynn: enables a cutscene for your player character sleeping peacefully alone, with their mabari or with a romantic partner

combat tweaks v323 by kend7510: aims to change combat to make progession smoother and to make some of the less popular skills more worthwhile for the player

no friendly fire for combat tweaks 323 by kanines: makes it so that you stop accidentally killing your companions while fighting

thedosian wardens arsenal by moonaerin: adds weapons unique to grey wardens to the game to match other mods that add inquisition's armors

environment overhaul by moonaerin: aims to add higher quality alternatives to many objects that make up environmental clutter

fine dwarven craftsmanship by shanamah: replaces dwarven clutter and objects with higher quality versions

cat project by moonaerin: high quality replacement for the in game cat models to make the cats look much cuter

gamblers of ferelden by drdrummie: adds npcs with gambling minigames to add some flavour to the world

rune of banter by cirosan: adds a useable item to make your companions yap

statues and totems - higher resolution textures by annabellya: makes religious statues look nicer

blood retexture by averagedilflover: makes the in game blood less ugly/weird

dragon age origins unofficial remaster by tepkunset: aims to make various textures and items in the game look higher quality while staying faithful to the original dev's vision

elven scenery by commanderstrawberry: high quality replacers for dalish and elven scenery items

real pigment - a skin tint fix by ashhawk: changes the way the game loads player character skin so that people who are interested in making black characters can have real looking skin

clear dreams - no blue in the fade by ashhawk: makes fade related scenes visually safer for those of us with eye sensitives (aka shania's eyeballs don't work and this mod saved my life)

dragon age bik improvement konversion by marcus22khaar: a high quality replacement for all pre-rendered cutscenes to make them more modern

immersion changes

dwarves are not mages by thesapphirequeen: makes dwarf characters that were wearing mage clothing, wear lore appropriate outfits instead

a nurse dressed for battle by thesapphirequeen: changes a nurse who was wearing a noble dress to be wearing an outfit more appropriate for a battlefield nurse

no staves in the assembly by shanamah: removes staves that the player character can have from the dwarf assembly npcs and gives them more unique options.

hardings in redcliffe by shanamah: adds lace harding and her family to redcliffe to support inquisition dialogue where she talks about living in ferelden during the blight

shields of orzammar by sorwaitte: makes the armoured dwarves of orzammar have lore appropriate shields instead alamarri ones

valos atredum by u31inked: changes the armour of npcs and guards in orzammar to be more dwarven inspired

warden daveth and jory in the fade by afremak: changes the random ghosts with duncan to be people the player character would actually know

updated halla by chaoticneuthrall: makes halla match their inquisition model

clouds retextured by iimaginary: makes the clouds in the sky look nicer

two moons circle by aisynia: makes both canon moons appear when you go to the circle

seasons overhaul by iimaginary: changes the camp and some of the trees in game to reflect a player selected season option. i.e. spring or fall

deep mushroom resources by shanamah: adds deep mushrooms to logical places in the game

brosca family redesign: adds a darker skin option for the brosca family to help match the player character

antivan and crow redux by wizzyrm: makes antivan characters match their lore and adds crow armours to crow npcs

no outsiders in orzammar by wizzyrm: changes non-dwarf characters in orzammar to dwarves to match stated lore

nug replacer by moonaerin: makes in game nugs match how they look in inquisition

lothering dwarves by suntheshattered: makes characters in lothering that are tagged as dwarves into actual dwarves

alistair at the gates by marawen: makes alistair enter denerim with you during the final battle

archdemon replacer by moonaerin: makes the archdemon look like the corrupted dragon we see in inquisition

horses of ferelden by moonaerin: adds horsies to the game. MUST HAVE!!!!!!!

valta in orzammar by pirateofrohan: adds the npc shaper valta from inquisition to orzammar but as a child to match stated lore

tranquil tattoo - origins by msbarrows: adds the mark of tranquility to npcs that are stated to be tranquil

diverse brosca family by anderswasright: adds options for players who might want their brosca to be asian, black, etc.

tsm more believable fade duncan by the skymoves: changes the weapons fade duncan has to match weapons we see him use at the battle of ostagar

tsm broken circle anders by the skymoves: replaces an npc voiced by anders' voice actor with anders' model as we know he's been in ferelden's circle

tsm anders at the pearl by theskymoves: adds anders to the pearl brothel to match dialogue in dragon age 2

casteless brand and dwarven tattoo restoration by skitra: adds tattoos to NPCs that were marked as supposing to have them

hawke and carver in ostagar by lakia1250: enables the player to see hawke, carver and aveline in ostagar as we know they participated in the battle. hawke can have custom hair and eyes from listed options

ser aaron hawthorne the wandering knight by lakia1250: adds one of the dragon age comic book characters to lore appropriate moments in the game and the awakening DLC as based on statements from the comics. it is recommended to use the heavy armour version as i could not get his lore appropriate armour to load in my game. i only got a floating head with his lore armour, but heavy armour appears appropriately

sera in denerim by balaurbondoc: adds sera from inquisition to denerim as we know from stated lore that she was a child in denerim during origin's timeline

edr hawke family in lothering by edriano: adds the members of the hawke family from dragon age 2 to lothering as we know they lived there before it was destroyed by the darkspawn

npc/companions

ser gilmore companion npc - fully voiced by immortality: adds ser gilmore from the cousland origin as a recruitable companion when you make it to ostagar. comes with his own storyline and epilogue slides. he can even banter with other companions. absolutely amazing mod that fits the game very well. very high recc. does come with his own romance and a selection of romance mods, but i think they might be for cousland-only so i will not link them here. very easy to find if you just put ser gilmore into the nexus origins page

ser gilmore companion npc - enhanced voice patch by kaivi: makes it so that ser gilmore's audio is easier to hear and understand

ser gilmore and dog companions in awakening - fully voiced by immortality: adds ser gilmore to the awakening expansion so that you can continue his story or his romance if you are playing as a cousland. he will also bring you your dog from the base game!

retconned cullen by nocheinmal: makes cullen look like his inquisition counterpart

practical morrigan robe by magpiedragon: a more concealing outfit for morrigan if you do not like her original robes or if you would like to try something new

a warden's sacrifice by kajana: a cutscene that plays for the player who makes the ultimate sacrifice against the archdemon

fare ye well duncan by kajana: a scene between alistair and duncan before the battle of ostagar to help the player see alistair's love for duncan

the rescue at ishal by marawen: a set of cutscenes to explain the devastation at the end of the battle of ostagar and the impact it has on alistair. mod creator says to not use if you have never played origins before, but i am assuming any who might read this guide are already familiar with the game and if not well i guess i just spoiled you for a 16 year old game lol.

lady of the forest hd retexture by catachr1sm: higher quality textures that play into her role as a creature of the forest

isabela by fialka: a retexture that aims to make isabela look closer to her dragon age 2 counterpart

zevran nights - a camp banter mod by marawen: makes it so that you can play zevran banters at camp with cutscenes to match

loghain - proper armor at ostagar by theskycloud: makes loghain wear his iconic armour during the battle of ostagar

wynne - proper red robes at ostagar by theskycloud: makes wynne's ostagar outfit match the outfit she wears when you recruit her

morrigan restoration patch by terraex: adds cut content related to morrigan and fixes bugs related to some of her dialogue trees

romance cutscenes/edits

cmessaz7's rendezvous at the tavern: adds a few romantic scenes at the gnawed noble tavern in denerim. check the modder's list of character/player race combo for compatibility with your interests.

cmessaz7's improved romance scenes and fixes - alistair: repairs broken dialogue trees and adds new scenes to be had with him if romancing

dahlialynn's - alistair's nightmare: a playable cutscene that seeks to explore alistair's insecurities and anxieties

lrs leliana romance scenes by nancyferg: adds new scenes for the player who is romancing leliana

alistair's revised romance by kajana: adds new romantic scenes and makes changes to his romance. be careful if interested in this one as it has many mods it is not compatible with

alistair romance attraction by andrastini: a sweet little cutscene for those interested in more alistair content

alistair romance appetite by andrastini: a light hearted romantic scene for players. make sure to read the description if you are playing a more stoic warden if you want to be strict with roleplay

alistair romance fear by andrastini: a cutscene relating to the archdemon for an alistair who is being romanced

alistair romance eavesdropping by andrastini: a cute cutscene with alistair that brings in the other companions for laughs

alistair's magical kiss by marawen: a romantic kiss with alistair for all races

intrigues of an antivan crow - zevran romance by marawen: a collection of romantic scenes for players interested in romancing zevran

alistair romance - hot water by andrastini: a romantic and intimate scene for players romancing alistair. beware, nudity! do not download if you are not comfortable with nude imagery in your game

alistair nights - moonlit bath by marawen: a sweet and romantic scene for wardens romancing alistair

leliana stories by marawen: a romantic scene between the warden and leliana which is compatible with most race and gender options

dahlialynn's alistair's first night love scene: a replacement cutscene for the first love scene with alistair to make it a bit more special

dahlialynn's alistair's visible kiss: inserts a repeatable kiss scene for the player to use

zevran kisses by ejoslin: aims to fix the kiss scene with zevran while adding some

zevran romance scenes by sanchia: adds more romantic options with him to enhance the romance

just some of the many character customization mods:

dao - anto hairstyles by iampizzapanda: adds a lot of hair options primarily for female character players.

lotc s eye textures by lastofthecouslands: adds new eye options to the character creator

hairstyle day vol. 2 by shepshy: many, many hair conversions

sjcs tints and textures by sammyjc: new eye colors and skin tones

sjc's vanilla hair colour replacements and pastel colours by sammyjc: new color options for the player

dalishious skin tints by tepkunset: real life inspired skin tones

sjc's skins by sammyjc: new facial complexion options

big brown eyes by tepkunset: adds more shades of brown and black for eyes

rak_dwarvenwarden by rak72: a new armour inspired by dwarf armour

barnzi face textures by barnzi88: facial complexions

hairstyle day by shepshy: adds many new hairs to the character creator

the seven dwarfs -face morphs by quincyrn: adds seven presets for male dwarves to the character creator

heavy dwarven armor retexture by vagrandreamer: makes heavy/massive dwarven armor look nicer

[peaterookie]

Why Do I Like (Manga) Lupin? (yes this is finished)

The not-so-long awaited question shall be answered today!!! I'm sure so many people are so excited for me to talk about Lupin for the 90 billionth time.

This will be a normal and short post, trust me.

But seriously, has anyone actually stopped and wondered: Why do I like this character so much? Why did my brain choose this character and not another? Have you ever stopped and thought about the psychology that goes into why your heart pours so much of itself into just some fictional character, that might just make you become a more well-adjusted individual in society if you just hadn't been aware of them?

I love everything about Lupin III, if you haven't known already. But I also like psychology, and talking about myself. So let me guide you through the crevices of my brain and show you why I love him so much. After this you will surely gain an appreciation for him at least, if not invite him to live inside your brain rent free.

Chapters:

Name

Design

Personality

How Lupin Changed my Life

Other Stuff!

Chapter 1: Name

sorry guys but WE GOTTA TALK IN LENGTH ABOUT HIS NAME

I think it's a really cool name!! Before I got into the series, the name Lupin III has always caught my eye. It describes straightforwardly a lot of his character premise: He's the grandchild of the well renowned thief Arsene Lupin. Wouldn't that kind of character already sound interesting to you?

I think there are very few works of fiction where the title/name of the character already tells you everything you need to know about the series. And to that i find it pretty impressive.

Aside from that, I think Lupin is a cute and fun name to say. It's very funny to have an absolute psychopath be named Loop-on. That's a grown ass man dude.

Him being the third generation is also quite interesting. You typically see people when making a fan-child of a character usually have it be a direct offspring, but no, MP skipped a whole generation to write about Arsene Lupin's grandchild.

That, of course, makes sense because he needed to have it match the time period he is writing it in, but being the third gen brings a deeper sense of inferiority to Lupin that being the second wouldn't have. We get the impression that he isn't as good as the past two Lupins and also that he is probably the most disconnected to the identity of the gentleman thief, reflected in how he dresses and acts. He's a lot more modern and young, I think this disconnect helps him be his own character.

Lastly, I find the lack of first name very intriguing. It probably doesnt have any significance but i like to think that his parents didnt give a fuck enough to give him his own first name. It's okay because he doesn't need one. His name is already that good.

Chapter 2: Design

Lupin III is designed with the manga medium in mind. Since manga is primarily in black and white, Monkey Punch needed the character to have good contrast and be easily drawn in any sort of poses and angles. I'd say he did a great job in the end, and Lupin's design is one of the best I've ever seen.

His sleek black body compliments extremely well with his jacket and tie, which with its bright colors, makes his body stand out. Having shirt and pants be black also lessens the need to add detail onto the clothes. In a way he functions like a stickman.

His head is also interestingly featureless, which makes it quite distinct from many other characters with their unique hair styles. I think it works well with his motif of being able to disguise as anybody. The sideburns also give him extra unique points and his hairline gives him a fun facial shape. I remember seeing a screenshot where Monkey Punch stated that he initially wanted Lupin to have hair similar to Goemon's, but decided against it because it would take too much time. I think this was a good choice on his part, and that sort of hair style I assumed was then reused for Lupin's child design.

(terrifying.)

Another thing I find cool about his design is just the overall roundness of it. Have you guys ever wondered why Lupin, this bastard trickster of man, has such smooth and round shapes ? Wouldn't it make more sense personality wise for him to have more sharper shapes to encompass his wild nature?

(im not going to be your art teacher and explain shape languages to you guys, here's a picture.)

Personally, I think the round shapes are to show Lupin's softer side. While he is cunning and evil, he also exhibits a child-like and playful personality and overall his movements are quite bouncy, kind of like a bouncing ball!

In contrast though, I feel like that appearance is also to disguise his sinister side, to make him look softer than he truly is. Although his shapes are round, they are composed of rugged lines, topped with angular posing, and a sharp smile. It gives you the impression that he doesn't really fit into the soft and friendly mold.

Wow, I'm this far into the design chapter and I haven't even talked about how he looks like a monkey yet! I think for that I'm better than about half of the Lupin fans already /hj

I believe his monkey-like appearance was unintentional, but what I find pretty funny about it is that it really does fit Lupin in a way. Monkeys, often depicted as goofy and friendly animals in media, are actually quite dangerous and unpredictable animals if not handled properly. Lupin is also a smart but dangerous character, but gets softened up throughout the series to attract a more diverse audience. (Not saying that Lupin isn't goofy and silly, he is, but I feel like it's a vast oversimplification of his character.)

Monkey analysis is over, let's move on.

Lastly... Lupin III is SO FUN TO DRAW!!! Adding all that I've talked about; his monkey-like head, the nice contrast on his outfit, and the general simplicity of his design, his design is simple to draw and very malleable. I get a lot of mileage out of designing outfits for him and drawing him in various styles, so there's a lot of room to add your own artistic charm to him! I also love how there's really no correct way to color him either. Monkey Punch experimented wildly on his color palette in the past; he has a variety of outfit palette and skin color and that sort of looseness is very awesome...

His variety of expressions is also one of the best things about this design because. there's just so much you can work with and it makes him like literally the best character ever you don't understand. You can not look at this set of panels and not love this goofball.

and uh oh yeah he's really hot and I want him.

Chapter 3: Personality

I've tried avoiding talking about his personality in the last chapter, but now it's time to go ALL OOOOOOUUUTT

I've always loved the trickster character archetype ever since I was conscious. There's something very entertaining about a character that throws away any sort of moral responsibility and decides to troll the entire world. They always have extremely charming and lovable personalities as well, and Lupin is no exception!

Let's start at the surface level. I love how much of a BASTARD he is. I love how much he gets on everyone's nerves (including mine's) just by merely existing and he is proud of it. Those types of characters are so fun to follow because they make everything they do and anything around them a laughingstock, Lupin often has a shit-eating grin whenever he knows he's doing something bad and it's so entertaining!! It's also equally satisfying when he gets punished for being a bastard and I love seeing him suffer.

On top of being a bastard, he's also an ASSHOLE. Manga Lupin is a massive asshole and he exists to shit on the world whenever it does anything against him. He gets angry very often in the manga and it gets fucking crazy whenever someone ticks him off. He will literally do anything to get back to whoever pissed him off and it is super funny. He's an angry, dramatic, pouty shithead. Love him for that.

Speaking of dramatic, his strongest points as a character is just how expressive he can be. It's endearing just how much emotion is stored in that man's body and I'm drawn to those kinds of characters because despite my personality being sorta big here, I have a lot of trouble expressing myself in real life. So seeing characters like that just being able to express freely feels very empowering to me even if Lupin looks like a little bitch when he does it sometimes.

I'm also very endeared by his mannerisms. He moves very... strangely (like most MP characters do) but I think he exudes this weirdness much more due to his eccentricity and expressive personality. It makes me think that he's neurodivergent but we will talk about this later. His expressions are also really exaggerated and funny, he's like genetically engineered to act as entertaining as possible and I really enjoy observing the way he does things like watching a bug in a cup.

Okay okay I'm done with talking surface level shit. Let's talk about all of Lupin.

I don't only just enjoy trickster characters, I also like characters that have multiple layers to them (like onions) and Manga Lupin is probably the best example of this.

"I wanted to make Lupin a top-notch villain, but I also wanted to make Lupin an extremely human man. The result was the meticulous and perfectionist assassin, with a gruff, awkward, and clumsy personality."

The best part about Lupin is how multi-faceted he is. He is both a genius and an idiot, cruel but kind, emotional and logical. He is the type of man you can imagine existing in real life because his actions and feelings are extremely realistic and sometimes even relatable!!

Every one of us don't just have a single personality, there are suitable moments to be serious, suitable moments to be silly, we are never always one extreme over the other. Like Lupin, some of us are smart but are bumbling idiots on certain things, and we all have the capacity to be both the kindest people alive or commit atrocities on others. That level of complexity and humanity in Lupin makes me feel very connected to him on a level I've never experienced from any other fictional character, because he feels like a character that any of us can become if we take the wrong steps in life.

Some people say that manga Lupin is a very inconsistent character and frankly I disagree with that and I don't like how non-manga readers spread that around to diminish his character. I feel like many people fail to acknowledge the nuance he has; he is inconsistent because that is how humans are, there are no rules to how we can behave and our minds are an enigma, especially for those dealing with mental conditions and/or trauma.

Oh yeah! I haven't ever discussed how Lupin is like, severely mentally ill yet huh?

So these two pages are from the New Adventures chapter "Island of Thieves (Part 2)" the first ever Lupin manga chapter I read.

In this chapter, Lupin has what I would likely describe as a mental breakdown, followed by a series of irrational and fucked up decisions. For all that it's worth, I think this chapter won me over because I Love having a mentally ill character to study because it's such an interesting topic for me to dissect. this isn't gonna be some super deep dive into what mental illness he has because I am personally not that kind of person, but just general observations on his behavior.

The first thing I can pinpoint is his inability to control his emotions, which leads to him making rash and violent decisions towards others. There really isn't a set of things i can pinpoint that lead to his emotional outbursts because there are times where he is very levelheaded in tough scenarios, then experiences an outburst at some minor inconvenience, this sort of instability is an obvious sign that there is something wrong.

I believe that this sort of behavior came from how he grew up in the Lupin household. In the Confession Series, there were various times where he grew extremely frustrated with his father and grandfather's actions towards him.

This pent up frustration and anger in him was then directly fostered into a coping mechanism because of his occupation as a criminal/assassin, where he needed to be violent and cruel to others to survive. When that is the way that he can solve a problem, he will see it as the only way to eliminate a stressor because he has been taught no other way to cope with his feelings.

Have a problem with someone? Hit them, kill them, rape them.

Sorry, that got a bit heavy huh? I just find Lupin so fascinating, it's almost like looking into a real criminal's brain, someone who has been hurt throughout all their life and has decided to hurt the world back.

For why I focused so much on his emotional regulation issues, it is because I deeply related to this part of his character. ahh I'm gonna get suuper personal in this part so be prepared?? I guess??? And also have an open mind of course.

Chapter 4 (but also kind of sticking on Ch.3's topic): How Lupin Changed My Life

Content Warning for I will be lightly discussing about real case of parental abuse, suicidal ideations, murder ideations, and other sensitive topics.

I also grew up with a family that has not treated me the best. In the position of the family as the youngest child, I lacked power, and thus lacked the power to stand up for myself and express how I felt whenever I was hurt by my family.

Like Lupin, this caused me to have trouble with expressing my emotions in a healthy and proper way, and I often vented my frustrations through emotional outbursts in the past and have hurted others verbally and psychologically in the pursuit of feeling like I was in control of something. I also developed violent ideations of killing others or harming myself, thoughts that I have struggled a lot in repressing and still do today. That is why when reading the manga, I was able to connect to Lupin's struggles because although he has done arguably worse things than me, the root cause is the same between us and I felt... seen.

For a long time, these thoughts inside my head and the mistakes I have made due to it caused me to believe truly and deeply that I am a bad person and I internalized it as the truth, almost as if I have made peace with the plague inside my mind and that it will be a part of me for as long as I live. Reading Lupin III and seeing this character felt like he was a physical and visual representation of this part of myself, and I felt happy. Happy to know that I am not alone in what I experienced and also happy that I am not Lupin.

I still have the chance to be a better person, I have accepted that I was a bad person in the past, but it doesn't define who I am now and who I will become in the future.

Lupin in a way humanized my mental illness. Although it has caused considerable harm to myself and others, it is wrong to say that it is a plague because it was born out of circumstances out of my control, and what it was doing was merely its attempt to cope with the situation and save myself from more hurt. Like Lupin, it did what it had to do to survive, and for that I do not blame it for trying.

Although Lupin can be seen as a warning to others like me, there are parts of him that I found inspiring and has contributed to great changes in my life. His eccentricity and confidence as I've stated previously was something I wish I could have, and I have been trying to adapt that sort of personality into myself ever since I read the manga. I exude much more energy and joy than I had in the past, and used the overwhelming amount of emotion I have inside me to spread happiness to others instead of the opposite. (regulating bad emotions is a must, but good emotions, I'm letting that all out and spreading it to others! sparkle on remember to be yourself or something)

My love for Lupin has given me the greatest friends and community I've had in my life, and I am so happy to share my passion and love for this character with them.

And golly, don't even get me STARTED on my art improvement ever since I got into Lupin III. I credit Monkey Punch for most of my art improvements but I also have to give Lupin credit because he is literally my muse. I feel like I can literally draw anything if I add him on there and I have made considerable strides in my human anatomy skills from how much I draw him. (A renaissance painting of Lupin III will be done one day, I promise.)

Chapter 5: Other Stuff!

Ugh, these are the stuff that I wanted to mention but Couldn't include in this rant because I am a bad writer. Please give me a break I wrote 80% of this in less than a day. I don't give a FUCK enough to make this look good im literally talking about my skrunkly, it doesn't need to sound like a peer reviewed essay written by a professional AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHH-

He's a bitch and an asshole, but he's KIND to his friends and children and you can really tell whenever he cares. And it's cute when he acts like a nice person for once.

Mental illness is also common in neurodivergent people and I really think he is one of them (Autism and ADHD specifically) Autism because he's socially awkward and acts like a FUCKING WEIRDO

seriously he really doesn't know how to talk to people normally.

ADHD because have you fucking seen that dude. I feel like his special interests are sex, crime and machinery because that's all he's good at doing, he'll probably never do anything he isn't interested in.

Bisexual king

Kind of trans-coded? please just read my genderfluid rambling to get more of the details.

It's so cute whenever he sticks his tongue out. he's so silly.

His whole thing of freedom being more like putting others down and controlling them is past me-core i am afraid

If it hasnt been clear to you, he's such a mess of an individual and I love it.

I have a feeling hes a bit of a tsundere and I like that, he feels like the type to be afraid of being actually emotionally vulnerable to others.

On that topic, he suffers so badly from toxic masculinity that its fascinating. he needs to be treated as a case study.

i forgot

Cool, handsome, wealthy, and so sexy

If i haven't mentioned something that I should've, I've likely touched on it in another post (ex. how lupin being a rapist is a good device to develop his personality)

i dont think ive gone a single day these past 2 years where i havent thought of him.

and yeah, that's it? Hopefully? This post was made for Lupin's second birthday, March 3rd! It's celebrated primarily by the japanese fanbase but I wanted to get this out because he is a character that means a lot to me and he deserves to be celebrated for two days! Maybe every day!!! Everyday is a Lupin day for me!!!!!!! Hooray!!

....

.........

............What?

What makes you think I like Lupin?

[elvenbeard]

Old and Happy

😭 my feels have been all over the place since I finally finished this! Don't even remember when I started, as I kept working on and off on it over a couple of months. But I think it was after writing something particularly angsty and going "you know what, they will get their happy ending though, so it's all good".

Some details and thoughts below the read more cause it got long hhhh ;A;

This is in about 2087 maybe, roughly "ten years later". Vince changed his hair, ditched the rattail for good (or again xD) for something still colorful but a bit more easy to style. But he might change it up again, he's done so repeatedly and still likes to experiment with his hair.

Not visible, he probably would've added some elements to his back tattoo after surviving all of 2077. Johnny's tattoo he covered up as well, he would've done that first probably before the back piece. Adding some things here and there over time, with colors and patterns and wings, some cherry blossoms ('cause a thing of beauty will never truly fade away - hence just not getting laser removal but covering it with something that suits him more, but keeping some elements like the J and V visible). It started with three roses below the "V" as a little homage to Jackie, and 2077 as the year that finally put him on the right track in his life, even if it almost killed him in the process.

Overall he is a healthier weight than he was for most of his life, and finally got some therapy he desperately needed to deal with all the crap he went through pre-2077 already. He's not dyeing his first grey hairs because hell, that he's even still around to get some is amazing with his line of work and life story. And he realized that there's no need to be super well put togeher 24/7, clean shaven and whatnot, when you know you're just gonna be hanging out with your man and cat all weekend (and actually allowing yourself to something like that - leisure time and pizza in bed, unheard of to 2077!Vince). He's doing good and feels good and comfortable, physically and mentally.

Kerry also changed, also embracing the dad bod over abs, probably still experimenting with his looks a lot now and then whenever the label feels like they need to draw attention to him for whatever reason. But to the brown eyes he returned in 2078 already in my headcanon for the Sun ending timeline, and he stuck with them.

Overall I think he might finally care a little less about other people's opinions too, the buzz and the drama, cause he knows that at the end of the day there's always gonna be someone waiting for him at home who loves him unconditionally. He's a bit calmer and at ease, but of course still up to no good whenever he gets the chance to stir shit up xD Vince and him remain to be a dangerous duo you don't wanna mess with. At that point Vince is a well-respected, even if somewhat elusive, fixer, so he's probably even more dangerous now than he used to be as a mere merc with an arsenal of connections and resources at his disposal that can almost rival Kerry's.

I also gave Kerry a lil new cyberware piece on his hand - he is an old man and I think, using his hands as a musician on the daily, at some point there's just gonna be some wear and tear to your bones and joints only tech can fix anymore... Especially if you're stubborn and refuse to retire cause no, you're not done yet, you still have so much to yell into the world and music to make, stuff to add to your legacy and all.

Last but not least: Nibbles is an old lady already as well here, but living her best life with her dads spoiling her rotten, of course!

And then öalkshjdfagsdföasgdfaösfh ;___;

Y'know, "to bad decisions" and all, and two very different pieces still fitting together perfectly somehow, and light and shadows, and the sun and moon and yeah. ;___; Brb crying, the feels are back xD

Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far!! They mean so much to me and aösdjhfajsfhasfk could go on forever about every little detail xD On to the next drawing!

[daniswoso]

Don’t Ever Say I didn’t Love You. Of Course I do.

Alessia Russo x Reader.

Warnings: Honestly idk what this is, more of a blurb or whatever you call them, emptying out my drafts bbs get ready 🙏🏼, arguments, swearing, poorly written ending, probably poor grammar.

Summary: Less doesn’t think you love her anymore.

*********

You and Alessia were in another one of your arguments.

It was the 4th one this week, you didn't know why at this point, you just knew your girlfriend was mad at you for something you hadn't even done. You think it has something to do with her makeup and you using the last bit of it or something like that.

"Alessia what has gotten into you?" You asked, your face crumbling slightly as tears well in your eyes. You didn't want to fight with your girlfriend, you loved her dearly and held her close to your heart. So why was it so difficult to get along with her without her blowing up recently?

You knew she had been stressed because of her recent move to Arsenal, but she had never taken her anger about football out on you before, just as you had never taken yours about football out on her.

"You don't love me anymore!" She shouts and for a moment, everything goes still. The clock stops ticking, the only sound in the room heard was your individual breaths. Heavy and laboured, as if you'd just ran 10 miles non stop each. Although, that's what fighting with each other usually felt like anyway.

"What? Less what are you on about?"

"You.. You don't love me anymore." Her voice is quiet, fearful.

"You're fucking delusional if you think that then." You scoff, and she rolls her eyes.

"Why do I even try, Y/N?"

"What makes you think I don't love you, Less?"

"You aren't spending time with me as much anymore!" She complains, and her face holds resemblance to that of a pouting toddler, you think.

"Lessi are you forgetting I have a full time very high stress job? The same job as you, might I add?” You glare at her, honestly offended she'd ever think you didn't love her anymore.

"No, no of course not, I just-" You cut her off with a scoff and disbelieving chuckle.

"Just what? Woke up last week and decided to make me feel like shit over every little fucking thing?!" You snap. You had reached your boiling point. Why was she not seeing that you loved her? Why couldn't she just see that if she had spoke about it with you it wouldn't be this way?

"I love you, Alessia. So don't you ever say I didn't love you, I still do. I always will, for fucks sakes!" You yell, completely flying off the rails.

She just looks at you, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Whatever. I'm gonna stay at Macca's." The blonde says, storming out of your shared apartment and heading to the Irish girl's.

You think about chasing after her but hear her  Mercedes pulling out of the driveway as you glare warily at your trainers. It would've been useless chasing her now.

You sigh and begin to tidy everything up, going getting into the spare bed, which you seemed to be spending a lot of time in lately, so that way if Alessia actually came back this time she'd be able to have space in a bed by herself.

****

Later that night, you briefly register a dip in the bed and your girlfriends warm body pressing against your own, muttering soft apologies into your hair which you just respond to with a grumble.

When you wake up that morning to the sight of the blonde's head on your chest and her smaller frame wrapped up in your arms, you feel a small flicker of hope that everything will be alright.

Because as long as you had your girl you felt like you could do anything.

**********

A/N: enjoy!

[dollsorwhatever]

Tutorial: MH Creepro neck and Arm fix

Posting this here because I keep getting questions about how I've been fixing my MH Creeproduction bodies to look a little less janky! Most people already have these techniques in their arsenal (and can definitely do a better job than me) but I keep getting questions on Twitter about how I manage to fix mine so I figure I'd just post a tut on Tumblr that I can link to lol This is an add-on to my previous post about the neck issue with both waves of Monster High Creeproductions in addition to another issue where the Creepro arms cannot lay flat against the sides of the body. Tutorial below!

Supplies Needed:

-Shitty creepro body

-Some sandpaper, I've been using 320 grit

-Boiling water We're going to start with the neck since that one is pretty quick.

This is the neck peg to start with, compared to an original G1 neck peg- the section we're concerned with is the circular peg right above the neck hole:

(Creepro on the left, original on the right) the Creeproduction peg is significantly thicker, which is causing the head to sit lower on the neck and cause the vinyl to deform. We're going to fix that by sanding the underside of the neck peg until it's much thinner, but not quite as thin as the originals (since original g1 dolls frequently have loose necks lol)

First you'll want to cut out a rectangle of sandpaper and fold it in half; this is both to make the sandpaper less flimsy and also because the folded edge is good for sanding nooks and crannies.

Now you're going to sand all around underside of the circular neck peg shown here, until that whole circular peg is thinner:

Make sure not to use the folded edge of the sandpaper for this part of the tutorial, we don't want to accidentally carve into the "stem" of the neck peg and cause it to snap. I like to sand off a bit, try the head on and then sand off a bit more if it's still not sitting as high as an original MH neck would. Make sure you're heating the heads prior to removal or you might break the neck peg. And also chop off that stupid hook on the top of the circular peg, it does nothing but cause misery lol This is typically what it looks like when I've sanded it as much as I need to for most dolls:

(after on the left, before on the right) Some characters have heads that sit much higher on the neck originally (like Spectra) so I'll sand off a lot more for them, but ymmv.

Now onto the body!

So, this is the Creeproduction body as-is:

This is the flattest I can get her arms to her sides. Some creepros can get them flatter, but not by much. Original G1 body arms already tend not to lay flat enough in my experience, but Creeproduction bodies are even worse lol We're going to fix that with sandpaper and boiling water! Provided below is an illustration of the general places that we are going to sand:

The notch under the ball joint of the arm, the area directly below the armpit and a tiny bit of the round area on the underside of the upper arm. We're going to sand a little off of each section.

For the notch in the arm, you're going to use the folded edge of the sandpaper to carve out the notch until it's a bit deeper than previously.

No, it's not pretty! Thank you for noticing lol

Next we're going to sand the armpit area, using the other edges of the sandpaper because we don't want to dig into the arm at all accidentally:

As well as this rounded area of the arm , not too much but enough to make it just a little flatter:

I left it raw to better show exactly where I'm sanding; most of the visible sand marks will disappear after washing but you can clean it up more with a finer sandpaper when you're done if you want. I'm just too lazy to do that lol

After all of that, your arm should sit more or less like the arm on the right (left unsanded for comparison)

Much better, but not quite there yet!

Modern G1 bodies have vinyl upper arms that are easy to manipulate with heat, so in order to get them as flat as possible we're doing to boil and reshape them. I like to boil my water in the microwave, and then dip the entire upper torso into the water until the arms are super pliable. At this point I will pull them out, pinch the arms right up against the body with my thumb and forefinger and then run them under the tap until they set. Your final result should look something like this:

And that's it! Hope that helps lol

Some shoddy before and after photos lol:

(Spectra was also rerooted lol)

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 1)

(Meme made by @eddo-tensei)

I'd like to apologize for this post taking so long, and my lack of activity this year in general. I've had a lot of things going on. I've been trying to search for a new career, I've been taking on more hours at work, I've started working out more, and I might be considering going back to school to pursue one of my career options. I've been very busy, and I know this isn't an excuse for the lack of content. I'm going to try making more posts on this blog when I can, because after this ranking post and the movie review, I won't have as many big projects to work on. With that being said, let's get to the main event.

I had very few positive things to say about Season 5, and it'll be reflected here. With Season 4, I at least had some clear outliers for the best and worst episodes, but because so many of these episodes blended together, it's hard to really rank them. At best, there were two or three episodes I thought were good, and not even really good like the highlights of Season 4. So this time, I'll be taking a page from one of Schaffrillas Productions' ranking videos, specifically his Illumination Entertainment ranking video. Rather than rank every episode from worst to best, I'm going to rank them from best to worst.

In a way, I'm giving you the quintessential Season 5 experience, starting off with high expectations before a gradual descent into mediocrity.

#1: Intuition

Season 5 really needed more episodes like this one. A good chunk of the season just defaulted to the same old Akuma of the week formula while Monarch stayed cooped up in his lair as usual. Yes, while it was justified thanks to his Cataclysm wound, it kept the writers from really capitalizing on his expanded arsenal other than giving Akumas powers he didn't need Miraculous to give them in earlier seasons. This episode is built on the three major aspects established at the beginning of the season that the writers should have been focusing on instead of Love Square drama: Gabriel secretly dying, Gabriel having access to over a dozen Miraculous, and Ladybug and Cat Noir needing to fight an uphill battle against Monarch.

For the most part, Monarch's plan is well thought out and the stakes feel high as a result. Not only does Monarch get creative with the Miraculous he has at his disposal, he exploits the heroic nature Ladybug and Cat Noir have by forcing them to choose between saving an innocent astronaut or the people of Paris. The meteor threatening Paris feels like a threat precisely because Ladybug and Cat Noir can't get any help to deal with something this big, and have to deal with it on their own. The fact that Monarch also essentially has a hostage trapped inside Bugfighter helps add to the drama.

This is the episode that arguably does the most with the space power-ups. Ever since they were introduced in the New York Special, they were mostly used by Ladybug and Cat Noir to fly across long distances, and even then, there were episodes where the writers forgot they could have used those forms to resolve the conflict (Crocoduel). Here, because most of the action is primarily set in space, the abilities of Cosmobug and Astro Cat are on full display, and it's a nice shakeup from the usual fights set in Paris.

But the best part of the episode is arguably Gabriel. While he does make multiple questionable decisions (whether they were intended to be seen as stupid by the writers is up for debate), this episode is a pretty decent character piece for Gabriel, and fleshes him out the most this season. Putting aside my problems with the writers changing the rules of the Snake Miraculous specifically so Gabriel can't use it like with the Rooster, Gabriel's behavior and body language really sells the fact that his days are numbered. For most of the season, Gabriel's Cataclysm wound was a mild inconvenience at worst, but this episode shows just why he can't go out to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir himself.

It's pretty ironic in a way. Even though he has fifteen Miraculous and is arguably the most powerful character in the show at this point, Gabriel's paranoia and arrogance prevent him from taking full advantage of his arsenal. Gabriel is so dead set on achieving his goal, he's willing to abuse the Snake Miraculous' power to find a way to win, despite the risks it has to his health. He can't trust any regular Akuma with Second Chance, and even a close ally like Tomoe isn't above being tricked by Gabriel using that same power. It's that same sense of narcissism that leads to his downfall, as while Gabriel has more power than Ladybug, he just can't outsmart her.

It's a really good episode, and was an exception to the kind of lousy writing we got during Season 5, instead of being the norm.

#2: Action

You know, it says a lot about the show when not only is arguably one of the most universally loved episodes in recent memory is the first in years to not have Astruc in the writing team, not only is it not connected to the ongoing story in any meaningful way, but it's also an environmental PSA, episodes that are usually not viewed in a positive light.

The characterization is somewhat strong here. Other than Nino being the one to lead the protests, nobody is really annoying or out of character, which works in the story's favor. There's no melodrama, no Marinette needing to learn some contrived lesson, or no Adrien being portrayed as being right about everything. It's the kids versus Big Plastic, and nothing else.

The thing that makes the story work is that compared to other environmental PSA episodes, it actually acknowledges how complicated of an issue the nature of pollution is. There aren't any characters who want to keep polluting the environment. There are just circumstances in place that prevent them from taking a stand against an injustice like this. Influential figures in Paris like Gabriel, Andre, and Nadja have connections to the company enabling the pollution, and whether it be for financial or political reasons, they're essentially dependent on it.

This kind of approach to the pollution extends to the antagonist, Bertrand. What I like about him is that compared to other rich people on this show, he's not incompetent or actively malicious. He just sees what he's doing as a business, and he can't think of any other ways to make money. He even points out how much plastic is used in modern society and that his company makes plastic for a reason. He's kind of like a less overtly antagonistic version of Mr. Waternoose from Monsters, Inc. in a way. He's aware of what he's doing, but he views profit as more important. The difference is that unlike Waternoose, Bertrand realizes the error of his ways and starts finding ways to change how his company operates.

However, this extends to one of the bigger problems I have with the episode. Because it spends so much time trying to flesh out the opposition's argument, it doesn't really give the audience enough reasons to support the heroes protesting. Yes, it's morally correct to protest, but there's nothing else to make the audience understand why they're in the right to oppose pollution. Considering how this was meant to be used to educate kids on pollution, I guess I can give it a pass for at least doing a decent job getting the point across, even if I personally would have given more of an explanation as to why the heroes are right.

What I can't give the episode a pass for is how the conflict is resolved. For an environmental PSA episode, I cannot for the life of me comprehend why the writers thought it would be a good idea for the Akuma of the week to be defeated by plastic and pollution. Like, my brother in Christ, you're supposed to teach kids about why pollution is a bad thing! Did nobody think about the implications this would bring? Actually, given the other things that happened this season, that probably checks out.

A pretty decent episode if not for the ending polluting the moral.

#3: Migration

While this one is one of the better episodes of Season 5, it still has its fair share of problems.

The most obvious one comes in the lesson its trying to teach with contrasting Bob and Jagged. It clearly wants to talk about redemption and self-improvement, but as I discussed in the overall analysis post, this show really doesn't have a good grasp on writing redemption arcs. For one thing, I really wouldn't compare Jagged becoming a better father to Bob being a selfish asshole because while Jagged abandoning his family was a terrible thing, since it was done more out of selfishness than outright malice. Bob on the other hand, is just a dick who wants to make money because this show's views on the business world make the Ferengi in Star Trek seem nuanced by comparison.

The episode spends so much more time showing how easy it is to be tricked by people rather than showing how important having trust in someone is, and it really muddles the lesson as a result. “See? Jagged changed easily, so that's a good enough reason to justify characters like Bob being irredeemably evil!” If you wanted to teach kids about trusting others, don't have it be in the same episode as the lesson about others taking advantage of your goodwill.

Putting that aside, Luka had a pretty decent swan song that tested his loyalty to Ladybug and Cat Noir. You can really buy his determination to keep their identities a secret from Monarch and his decision to leave his home to make sure this information stays a secret makes sense. Well, as long as you don't count Luka announcing the fact that he knows their identities to plenty of potential hostages and victims for Monarch, but then again, that moron never does anything smart with the intel he gets. We really needed more focus episodes showing the former temp heroes helping out Ladybug and Cat Noir in their own ways, not just having them all form a stupid resistance that does almost nothing useful all season.

The conflict with Gold Record also worked well here. I like how Monarch's simple plan to akumatize Luka turned into a plan to figure out Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities that just happened to use a different Akuma. I'd argue it was done better than in “Truth” because of how the victims aren't just forced to tell the truth, they're thrown out into space, so the stakes are pretty high. I'll admit the way they stop Gold Record is pretty anti-climactic, and you could argue Luka didn't even need to tell Ladybug he knew her identity with out easily the situation is resolved right after he's turned into a record. I think it would have worked better if Luka's secret was that he said he was jealous of Adrien for managing to be the one Marinette loves over him instead of just knowing the heroes' identities.

It's a flawed, but still okay episode to rewatch. It's a good thing Luka knew how bad this season was getting so he headed out the first chance he got. If only he stayed out of Paris instead of becoming one of Su-Han's students offscreen before the finale.

#4: Elation

You know this season is abysmal when, of all things, a Glaciator episode ends up making the top 5, and you know how much I love those episodes.

Of all the episodes to feature the Adrienette drama, I feel like this one had the best execution of it. You can really understand the emotional turmoil Marinette is going through and how hard things are for her. You also get how hard it is for Cat Noir to have to turn down the girl he loves after having so much fun with her. Remember, as far as he knows, he's taking advantage of his status as a superhero to make a move on a civilian like Marinette. The fact that he's aware of this and is willing to break it off himself is a far cry from the entitled little twerp he was last season. While I think Marichat could have been explored more, the fact that it ends here makes for a pretty solid transition into Adrienette becoming official next episode.

Alya also has some decent characterization here. Yeah, she goes against some of the things she said earlier this season, but we get a little glimmer of her Season 4 self by having her realize the error of her ways and actually make an attempt to support her friend. Of course, she goes back to the same old Season 5 Alya, but it's something.

Something I didn't really think about until after I originally posted the review was how confusing the episode's stance on shipping is. Like, we're supposed to side with Marinette and be against everyone trying to dictate who she's supposed to be in love with... but the people trying to tell her who she's in love with are technically right by pointing out her feelings for Adrien. Yes, nobody else knows that Adrien is Cat Noir, but with how much buildup Adrienette has gotten over the years, it's really confusing that the writers are acting like it's weird that people are obsessed with Marinette's love life. Pointing out how annoying Alya and Andre are by refusing to believe Marinette could have feelings for someone who isn't Adrien is basically the pot calling the kettle black.

Maybe if this was a Season 2 or 3 episode focusing on Marinette's growing feelings for Luka, this kind of story could have worked, but as it stands, it's a very confusing stance for the writers to take. Overall, a pretty decent episode.

#5: Evolution

It's the first part of what I like to call the “Remember When This Season Looked Kinda Promising?” Trilogy.

This episode really seemed like there was going to be a change in direction for Season 5 with how it was structured. Rather than immediately go back to the Akuma of the week formula, the characters, for the most part, make choices most people would make if they were in their shows. What does Gabriel do as soon as he gets all the Miraculous in the Miracle Ball? He whips out the Rabbit Miraculous and immediately decides to travel through time to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous before they can even stop him. The best part is that Ladybug almost immediately catches onto Monarch's plan and isn't too confused when Bunnix shows up to bring them along. Of course, both Ladybug and Monarch still do stupid things that contradict these smart decisions, but it's the thought that counts.

I like how this episode is taking advantage of its premise and makes it about a race through time to stop Monarch before he screws up history. It's a decent idea to call back to older episodes, but the issue is how they don't really do much to explain why nobody noticed this. Even events where the past versions of the heroes were right there when the current versions were fighting Monarch don't get so much as a mention. I think it could have worked more if they stayed undetected, but during the chaos of the fighting, our Ladybug accidentally sets up things past Ladybug could use for her Lucky Charm. That way, it would help sell the idea of this being more of a self-contained time loop.

Something that I actually thought was clever foreshadowing was when Monarch went back in time to save Emilie. He doesn't just steal the Peacock Miraculous or tell his past self to not use it. He specifically plans to give instructions to fix the broken Peacock Miraculous, as if to say one of its creations is too important to be erased from history...

Speaking of Sentimonsters, Cat Noir and Ladybug have some good teamwork here, confirming that we're finally done with the Cat Dour drama from last season. While I feel like it could have been handled better, I like the idea of Ladybug's guilt being what motivated her to trust Cat Noir with the Rabbit Miraculous, and when they go to see the younger version of Master Fu, they feel more like equals while choosing a Miraculous.

So with all the positive things I had to say, why isn't this episode higher on the list. Well, the thing is that when there weren't moments I enjoyed, most of my thoughts on this episode were like this:

A good chunk of the episode is the characters making stupid decision after stupid decision in order to make sure we get twenty-six more episodes. I can at least buy Monarch getting overconfident with all the new Miraculous he has, but Ladybug and Cat Noir don't get that excuse. They get a total of five chances to get back the Miraculous, but other than just getting the Rabbit back, Ladybug keeps choosing to say she's going to take the Miraculous back instead of just GRABBING THEM FIRST AND THEN GLOATING. There are James Bond villains who think you're taking too long. We're really supposed to see Monarch as a threat when the only reason why he keeps getting away is because the heroes are too stupid to do what any sensible person would do in their position. Seriously, if the Winx Club were the ones chasing Monarch throughout history, they'd most likely be spending more time discussing who's paying for milkshakes after they drop his bruised and battered body off at the police station.

And then there's Monarch himself, who has to be told to go back and save his wife instead of getting the Miraculous to make a wish. The episode tries to imply that Gabriel has more selfish intentions, but the finale pretty much throws that away and makes it so he just misses his wife. I'll give you a moment to process the shock of this show setting up a character arc and doing nothing with it. The fact that he blames Ladybug for his own mistakes is pretty much the only thing that connects the two, since Ladybug acts like Monarch is too powerful to stop in a fight when she kept screwing up chances to take back the Miraculous.

I also really don't like the way Master Fu and Alix were used in this episode. For one thing, if Ladybug and Cat Noir can easily use time travel to borrow Miraculous from the younger Fu, why can't they just do that until they stop Monarch? Yeah, they gave the Rabbit Miraculous to Alix, but why can't they just call her up to go to Fu for some Miraculous Ladybug and Cat Noir need? Speaking of, is nobody going to acknowledge the fact that Alix was just forced to become Bunnix after getting the Rabbit Miraculous? Last season made a big deal about how stressful Marinette becoming the Guardian was, and now we're just okay with Alix being forced to bear what is arguably an even bigger burden?

Overall, while not a terrible start to the season, it still had a lot to work on while still having its fair share of positive moments.

#6: Destruction

Much like with “Evolution”, there seemed to be some improvement here on the writing and characterization, but fell apart towards the end.

I like how Marinette, Alya, and Cat Noir all work together to outsmart Monarch with Alya distracting him long enough to follow the trap Ladybug and Cat Noir set up for him. It's a pretty clever gambit, and it's nice that Cat Noir actually gets to play a part in it. “Evolution” showed that Monarch was too powerful to take on in a fight, so a battle of wits is the best option to stop him, something that fits Ladybug perfectly.

I also like how, once again, the writers explain why Monarch can't use something as powerful as the Rooster Miraculous to win, even if it's a really stupid explanation. But hey, I'm just some moron who thinks that the Rooster Miraculous shouldn't be a diet version of the Power Cosmic.

Something that was very clever was the reveal of the episode taking place before a previous episode, “Multiplication”. It adds rewatch value to earlier episodes, it allows kids watching to figure out what happened without explaining every single part of the twist, and it's something this season really should have done more often.

However, that's where my compliments end here. The main problem with this episode is how the climax pretty much ruins the clever plan Ladybug set up. She takes forever to explain her plan to Monarch in great detail, and we're supposed to be surprised that Monarch managed to escape. She didn't even think to just pull off his Miraculous first and then gloat about how awesome she is. Hell, she somehow showed more concern over Monarch escaping thanks to her incompetence instead of Cat Noir accidentally Cataclysming him. But then again, this is the same person who will try to Cataclysm Monarch several times in the season finale. Something that's also weird is that they set up the idea of Monarch escaping with the Lucky Charm, but nothing ever comes of it. You'd think it would be important with how much emphasis is put on nothing else being able to heal Gabriel, but it's never mentioned in the season finale. It could have been an easy way to show Marinette resolving the conflict, by healing her greatest enemy and giving him the chance to better himself... instead of having Gabriel die and Marinette choosing to wash her hands of the whole “I let the universe end” thing.

This episode also showed just how forgettable the Kwamis are as characters. The show wants to make a big deal about how cruel Gabriel is to have control over them, but none of them have any real personality other than “Annoying toddler on a sugar high”. Even putting aside how insufferable they were last season, there's just not enough in this episode to really get you invested in their plight. Not even Trixx, the Kwami who got the most screentime other than Tikki and Plagg last season, gets a single line here.

This episode had promise, but the way it fumbled the landing really ruined it for me.

#7: Multiplication

I swear, I didn't intend for the first three episodes of Season 5 to be ranked like this in chronological order of all things. It was a happy accident, almost miraculous if you will.

Anyway, this episode was okay. It was a decent follow-up to “Evolution”. I like how it's more of a slow character piece for Marinette as she tries to deal with her guilt and conflicting feelings for Adrien after the betrayal. This was the few episodes that I feel really nailed the emotional moments with Marinette this season. There's no overdramatic dialogue, there's no exclusive focus on Adrien (at least at first), and it's played 100% seriously. I also thought it was a decent idea to have the people of Paris prepare for the worst with Monarch, even if it went nowhere. Even the Akuma was handled pretty well, as it allowed the writers to show off the gimmick this season with Ikari Gozen using Multiplication while Ladybug and Cat Noir get to show actual teamwork for a change.

But the problem with this episode was how nobody really seemed to care about the threat Monarch poses. Not only does Alya go back caring more about Marinette's love life, not only does everyone else in Paris seem to forget about Monarch after a few weeks, but Adrien's only role this episode is to realize his feelings for Marinette instead of thinking about the role he also played in Monarch getting all the other Miraculous. Yeah, who cares about serious introspection from someone who spent an entire season trying to show he's just as capable a hero as his partner while inadvertently being part of the reason why she lost her other allies? I want to see him try to kiss someone multiple times without their consent!

And yeah, let's talk about the kissing joke and how it's more than just unfunny, it's almost disgusting with how it's presented. We're supposed to laugh at Marinette for resisting Adrien's attempts to kiss her multiple times when she has every right to not want to be kissed without her consent. The entire joke is that it's happening just as Marinette is trying to get over her feelings for Adrien, but even if she still liked him, it's still against her consent Remember, this is the same show that tried to teach kids about the importance of consent in episodes like “Felix” and “Lies”, yet it never applied to Adrien in this episode, to the point where Alya tries to restrain Marinette so she can't resist or run away.

“But IOTA! It's a cultural thing in France!” Fine, maybe it is, but there's three problems with that. First, Adrien made it clear that he sees Marinette purely in a romantic light, not just as a acquaintance. Second, even if it was meant to be platonic, he didn't do it with Alya or Nino. Finally, if Marinette didn't want to be kissed the first time, that should have been it.

I don't care how socially stunted Adrien is, or how much everyone in the entire world ships Adrientte, if you see someone looking like this when someone is trying to kiss them:

DON'T SMILE, AND MAKE THAT PERSON RESPECT HER PERSONAL SPACE!

It's just such a terrible joke to make, and it this is coming from the season that tries to tackle serious issues like mental health and child abuse. How this episode didn't run into controversy like “Ephemeral” did, I'll never know. Just not a good episode, yet somehow, this still made the top ten.

#8: Perfection

This is an episode that had a decent Akuma, a pretty wholesome resolution, and... uh... Yeah, that's about it.

Of all the Kagami-centric episodes the show has ever done, this is the one that really shows us how she thinks. Because of the high standards her mother places on her, she believes that she can't have friends, and she has only herself to rely on. I like how rather than just default to her being constantly angry while akumatized, she's much more depressed, and most of the damage she causes is unintentional. Granted, I don't get how Monarch thought a giant cloud monster who can't see a thing will be able to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, but I still like how Ryukomori is presented.

On the other hand, despite being a Kagami focused episode, the writers somehow forgot what Kagami was like. She's usually a no-nonsense person who can see through lies and deception with ease, like what happened when she dumped Adrien in “Lies”. Here, she takes things so literally thanks to Lila's “friendship test”, I'm pretty sure Amelia Bedelia would tell her stop taking things so literally. The fact that this isn't just a one-off occurrence doesn't help at all.

If there's anything I could take away from rewatching this episode, it's that I finally understand the problem with this show's humor. The cow bit made me realize just how often this show will drag out its jokes to pad out the runtime, and the cow joke is a perfect example. It's mentioned a total of five times during the first half of the episode. It would have been just an unfunny joke if it was just a one-time thing, but the writers will take a joke and repeat it multiple times until it becomes incredibly annoying. It's like if Patrick kept asking Squidward if mayonnaise was an instrument in that one SpongeBob episode. The joke stops being funny if you keep reusing it over and over again in such a short timeframe.

The song Adrien sung before the Akuma was also incredibly forgettable and comes out of nowhere. I don't even get why they had him do this when Luka is usually characterized as the musician. Even Marinette is surprised Adrien can suddenly sing. Besides, I think we can all agree on what the perfect love song that would sweep Marinette off her feet is.

But yeah, for an episode titled “Perfection”, it's anything but.

#9: Protection

Again, I didn't intend for the direct follow-up to “Perfection” to be ranked right below it. I also want to clear up any confusion people have with this one, since Season 5's episode titles have been hard to memorize for some people. “Perfection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to peacefully resolve the conflict thanks to the power of friendship. “Protection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to treat her like any other Akuma because the power of friendship was meaningless. I hope I made things easier for you.

This is such a nothing episode. Pretty much everything that happens here is either reused from previous episodes or will continue to be used for the rest of the season. Gabriel tries to break up Adrienette, Lila is a liar, and Kagami is an idiot. There's just nothing to talk about here. The only thing that really stands out for me is the brief moments Marinette and Adrien shared as a couple. They're cute and have believable chemistry, but they're so few and far between. Nothing is accomplished in this episode, and even the stuff with Kagami and Lila is pretty much dropped after this.

Even the Akuma was forgettable. It's just Riposte with a meat cleaver and a diet version of Penalteam's powers. It lacks the emotional weight the resolution with Ryukomori had. It feels like these episodes were meant to be the same one, but were split up to fill the 26 episode count. Overall, just a boring episode, yet still one of the season's better outings if you can believe it.

#10: Jubilation

Yes, this is the one that made the top ten. I'm just as surprised as you are.

Putting aside the dream scene, the episode had some decent ideas, like Marinette struggling to deal with the stress that comes with being Ladybug, and other ways Gabriel can use the Alliance rings to his advantage. Even Cat Noir's emotional reaction to having to leave the dream was decently executed, even if there was no buildup to it. This is the kind of stuff I think we should have gotten more of this season, more character focus and Gabriel actually being a competent villain.

With that being said, there's still a lot of problems here. Socqueline comes out of nowhere, Mr. Damocles' portrayal here doesn't match up with how he is in other episodes this season (much less “Derision”, Socqueline's only other episode), and the dream sequence was creepy as all hell because the animators didn't have enough money to design older models for Ladybug and Cat Noir so they wouldn't be teen parents.

Just an average episode with a few memorable parts, for better or for worse.

#11: Reunion

Riddle me this, my dear readers: How do you write an episode where you want to utilize a fictional version of Joan of Arc, but can't include the visions from God or how she was burned at the stake, the two most well-known things about her? The answer? Turn her into a generic knight who speaks broken English even though she's supposed to be French, duh!

I don't know how you manage to take a concept like Joan of Arc being a former superhero and screw it up this much. She's pretty much only there to bitch and moan at Marinette, essentially body shames Adrien, and only becomes relevant because the Akuma of the week happened to be asking questions about history.

There really could have been done more with the Reunion concept, but this is the only time this season where it's used, and I'm sure it has nothing to do that Joan of Arc's model was used in “Ephemeral”. But when has the show ever come up with excuses to reuse older models this season? I mean, besides young Master Fu in “Evolution”, the other temp heroes in “Determination”, Mister Bug and Lady Noire in “Passion”, and Scarabella in “Revelation” that is.

This episode also tries to tackle conspiracy theorists with Jalil, but it fails because you understand where he's coming from. He is literally the only character in the entire show to think, “Hey, isn't it kind of fucked up that my little sister was forced to become a guardian of time before she graduated middle school while not even getting to say goodbye to me, her only brother?” Yes, the moral isn't a bad one, but Jalil isn't wrong to be paranoid about Ladybug given how she evidently never talked to him about this, much less give Bunnix the chance to say goodbye herself.

The Akuma also really made no sense for Jalil. If he's supposed to be seeking the truth, why is he asking random historical trivia questions? How does knowing the year Sputnik was launched into space relevant to finding out if Ladybug is honest or not? It's almost like the writers have already created multiple Akumas with powers connected to honesty, so this is an overused idea (Oni-Chan, Truth, Lies).

It's just a very forgettable episode, much like how much the writers just forgot the Reunion idea for the rest of the season. Seriously, did anyone remember Plagg gave Adrien a Kwagatama at the end of this one?

#12: Passion

In my opinion, this was the episode that set up two of the biggest problems with Season 5: Extremely contrived Love Square drama and Nathalie's incompetence preventing her from ending the conflict then and there.

While I'm glad we're finally getting a Nathalie focused episode, the issue I have with it is just how the writers are clearly trying to portray her with Adrien's best interests in mind, she still doesn't do anything to actually stop Gabriel other than complaining about how evil Gabriel is while still going along with his plans. She willingly accepts an Akuma from the same man she's claims she's protecting Adrien from and still follows his plans for absolutely no reason. Why Gabriel still keeps her around, much less trusts her with an Akuma, is beyond me.

Rewatching this episode made me realize just how pointless Nathalie is this season. It feels like the writers needed to have Nathalie oppose Gabriel but didn't know how to do that without having her rat him out to Ladybug and Cat Noir. All they really had to do was have her fall into the same coma Emilie is in, and it would not only take her out of the picture. That way, it would remove any concern that Nathalie could expose Gabriel and it would better justify Tomoe's inclusion this season. Instead, a good chunk of this episode is Nathalie and Gabriel making it clear that they hate each other while still choosing to work together for no reason.

The actual backstory for Nathalie was okay. I like how she's more than just some secretary who was informed of the Miraculous and later teamed up with Gabriel, instead being a treasure hunter who specializes in locating magical artifacts like the Miraculous. It's a clever bit of character development and I like how it ties into her Akuma form for the episode. Of course, it's somewhat ruined by the fact that we still don't know why Gabriel and Emilie wanted to find the Miraculous in the first place, not even after five seasons.

Putting aside Nathalie generally being an idiot, the rest of the episode was pretty mediocre. It's more Love Square drama, with Marinette's concerns about how her feelings for Adrien led to Monarch getting fifteen Miraculous being brushed aside as her denying how she really feels. Only now, the episode is going out of its way to make it seem like all Marinette can do is all but lust over whoever she's in love with, in this case, Cat Noir/Mister Bug. Because actually acknowledging character flaws and how they affect the narrative while playing them for laughs is how Miraculous Ladybug rolls. Decades from now, episodes like this will be commonplace, I just know it.

The Akuma fight was also pretty lackluster. I don't get why Safari's arrows only targeted Ladybug and Cat Noir, and only Ladybug and Cat Noir while they were transformed instead of, you know, targeting their Miraculous. It just felt like a cheap excuse to get some more mileage out of the Mister Bug and Lady Noire models. Well, that, and more of Lady Noire prioritizing her romantic feelings over the mission at hand.

While I can appreciate the attempt to flesh out Nathalie's character, it's not enough to salvage this episode.

#13: Deflagration

Before I start this section, can anyone tell me why the hell it's named a chemistry term of all things?

The wiki claims that it's referencing what Tikki and Plagg do in the episode, but I don't think that continuously creating and destroying stuff counts as deflagration. Then again, I'm some schmuck on the internet, not a chemist.

Anyway, this episode is clearly trying to come across as an event, but nothing is really accomplished here. Marinette and Adrien already got together in the last episode, the Akuma didn't do anything to advance Monarch's plan, Zoe's character development as Kitty Noire is nonexistent, Alya being exposed for the third time ends up being pointless since Scarabella appears in “Revelation” a few episodes later, and no progress is made in stopping Monarch. It's just one big fight scene that lacks real tension because Monarch is reduced to a joke in this episode.

Monarch is seriously dogpiled by several middle school students, and the show still expects us to take him seriously as a villain. I can at least buy Sole Destroyer, given how Chloe is supposed to be seen as harmless sometimes, but the main villain getting beaten by kids with no superpowers? It just really breaks the suspension of disbelief. It'd be like if Kevin McCallister somehow defeated Godzilla with one of his traps. You're not impressed by Kevin taking him down, you're asking why Godzilla went down so easily.

This was the episode where the writers started making dumb blonde jokes by making it so Chloe doesn't understand the meaning of the word “Generous”, and it's just as unfunny as it sounds. Not only is this hypocritical because this “girl power” show is now using one of the most misogynistic writing tropes in history, it's the same episode with a title named after a chemical reaction that most children watching don't understand. Chloe didn't even serve a purpose this episode because nobody ever fought Sole Destroyer onscreen. It's just another “Ha! She's blonde and rich, so that means she's dumb!” joke... which came before a certain episode that showed her as being capable of pulling off several complex schemes to torment Marinette.

I also love how despite making a big deal about them being worthy to be Ladybug and Cat Noir's replacements last episode, Alya and Zoe are taken out of commission before the action even starts. I feel like the episode could have at least been elevated if Alya and Zoe at least tried to help. It would have better justified them temporarily replacing Ladybug and Cat Noir instead of the cheap ratings grab it was.

But yeah, it's a pretty dull episode, and the only reason why I don't have more to say is because the first part has more glaring issues in my eyes.

Part 2