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glitter-stained · 24 days ago

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Damasio, The Trolley Problem and Batman: Under the Hood

Okay so @bestangelofall asked me to elaborate on what I meant by "Damasio's theories on emotions in moral decision-making add another level of depth to the analysis of UTH as a moral dilemma" and I thought this deserved its own post so let's talk about this.

So, idk where everyone is at here (philosophy was mandatory in highschool in my country but apparently that's not the case everywhere so i genuinely have no clue what's common knowledge here, i don't want to like state the obvious but also we should recap some stuff. Also if I'm mentioning a philosopher's or scientist's name without detailing, that means it's just a passing thought/recommendation if you want to read more on the topic.)

First thing first is I've seen said, about jason and the no killing rule, that "killing is always bad that's not up for debate". And I would like to say, that's factually untrue. Like, no matter which side of the debate you are on, there is very much a debate. Historically a big thing even. So if that's not something you're open to hear about, if you're convinced your position is the only correct one and even considering other options is wrong and/or a waste of time... I recommend stopping here, because this only going to make you upset, and you have better stuff to do with your life than getting upset over an essay. In any case please stay civil and remember that this post is not about me debating ethics with the whole bat-tumblr, it's me describing a debate other people have been voicing for a long time, explaining the position Damasio's neuropsychology and philosophy holds in this debate, and analyzing the ethics discussed in Batman: Under the Red Hood in that light. So while I might talk about my personal position in here (because I have an opinion in this debate), this isn't a philosophy post; this is a literature analysis that just so happens to exist within the context of a neuropsychological position on a philosophical debate. Do not try to convince me that my philosophy of ethics is wrong, because that's not the point, that's not what the post is about, I find it very frustrating and you will be blocked. I don't have the energy to defend my personal opinions against everybody who disagrees with me.

Now, let's start with Bruce. Bruce, in Under The Hood and wrt the no kill rule (not necessarily all of his ethics, i'm talking specifically about the no kill rule), is defending a deontological position. Deontology is a philosophy of ethics coined by christian🧷 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant. The philosophy of ethics asks this question: what does it mean to do a good action? And deontology answers "it means to do things following a set of principles". Basically Kant describes what are "absolute imperatives" which are rules that hold inherent moral values: some things are fundamentally wrong and others are bad. Batman's no-kill rule is thus a categorical imperative: "Though Shall not Kill"🧷, it is always wrong to kill. (Note that I am not saying Bruce is kantian just because he has a deontology: Kant explained the concept of deontological ethics, and then went up to theorize his own very specific and odd brand of deontology, which banned anything that if generalized would cause the collapse of society as well as, inexplicably, masturbation. Bruce is not Kantian, he's just, regarding the no kill rule, deontological. Batman is still allowed to wank, don't worry.)

In this debate, deontological ethics are often pit up against teleological ethics, the most famous group of which being consequentialism, the most famous of consequentialisms being utilitarism. As the name indicates, consequentialist theories posit that the intended consequences of your actions determine if those actions were good or not. Utilitarism claims that to do good, your actions should aim to maximise happiness for the most people possible. So Jason, when he says "one should kill the Joker to prevent the thousands of victims he is going to harm if one does not kill him", is holding a utilitarian position.

The debate between deontology and utilitarism has held many forms, some fantastical and some with more realistic approaches to real life like "say you're hiding from soldiers and you're holding a baby that's gonna start crying, alerting the soldiers and getting everyone in your hideout massacred. Do you muffle the baby, knowing it will suffocate and kill it?" or "say there's a plague going on and people are dying and the hospital does not have enough ventilators, do you take the one off of the comatose patient with under 0.01% chance of ever waking up to give it to another patient? What about 1%?", etc, etc. The most famous derivative of this dilemma, of course, being the infamous trolley problem.

This is what is meant when we say "the UTH confrontation is a trolley problem." The final confrontation at the warehouse is a variation, a derivative of the utilitarian dilemma that goes as follows: "if someone was trying to kill someone in front of you, and that murder would prevent the murder of thousands, should you try to stop that murder or let it happen?"

Now, here's a question: why are there so many derivatives of the trolley problem? Why do philosophers spend time pondering different versions of the same question instead of solving it?

My opinion (and the one of much, much smarter people whose name i forgot oops) is that both systems fail at giving us a satisfying, clean-cut reply. Now, most people have a clean-cut answer to the trolley problem as presented here: me personally, I lean more towards utilitarianism, and I found it logical to pull the lever. But altering the exact situation makes me change my answer, and there is very often a point where people, no matter their deontological or utilitarian velleities, change their answer. And that's interesting to examine.

So let's talk about deontology. Now my first gripe with deontology it's that it posits a set of rules as absolute and I find that often quite arbitrary. 🧷 Like, it feels a little like mathematical axioms, you know? We build a whole worldview on the assumption that these rules are inherently correct and the best configuration because it feels like it makes sense, and accidentally close our mind to the world of non-euclidian ethics. In practice, here are some situations in which a deontologist might change their mind: self-defense killing, for example, is often cited as "an exception to the rule", making that rule de facto non-universal; and disqualifying it as an absolute imperative. Strangely enough, people will often try to solve the trolley problem by deciding to kill themselves by jumping on the tracks 🧷 which is actually a utilitarian solution: whether you're pulling the lever or you're jumping on the tracks, you are choosing to kill one person to stop the people from being run over. Why does it matter if it's you or someone else you're killing? You're still killing someone. Another situation where people may change their answer would be, like "what if you needed to save your children but to do so you had to kill the ceo of united healthcare?" Note that these are only examples for killing, but the biggest issue is that deontology preaches actions are always either good or wrong, and the issue with that lack of nuance is best illustrated with the kantian problem regarding the morality of lying: let's say it's the holocaust and a family of jews is hiding in your house. Let's say a nazi knocks on your door and asks if there are people hiding in your house. You know if you tell the truth, the jews in your house will be deported. In that situation, is it morally correct to lie? Now, Kant lived before the Holocaust, but in his time there was a similar version of this problem that had been verbalised (this formulation is the best-known derivative of this problem btw, I didn't invent it) and Kant's answer, I kid you not, was still "no it is not morally acceptable to lie in that situation".

And of course, there are variations of that problem that play with the definition of killing- what defines the act of killing and can the other circumstances (like if there's a person you need to save) alter that definition? => Conclusion: there is a lot more nuance to moral actions than what a purely deontological frame claims, and pushing deontology to its limits leads to situations that would feel absurd to us.

Now let's take utilitarianism to its own limits. Say you live in a world where healthcare has never been better. Now say this system is so because there is a whole small caste of people who have been cloned and genetically optimized and conditioned since birth so that their organs could be harvested at any given moment to heal someone. Let's say this system is so performant it has optimised this world's humanity's general well-being and health, leading to an undeniable, unparalleled positive net-worth for humanity. Here's the question: is this world a utopia or a dystopia? Aka, is raising a caste of people as organ cattle morally acceptable in that situation? (Note: Because people's limits on utilitarianism vary greatly from one person to another, I chose the most extreme example I could remember, but of course there are far more nuanced ones. Again, I wasn't the one to come up with this example. If you're looking for examples of this in fiction, i think the limits of utilitarianism are explored pretty interestingly in the videogame The Last of Us).

=> Conclusion: there is a lot more nuance to moral actions than what a purely utilitarian frame claims, and pushing utilitarism to its limits leads to situations that would feel absurd to us.

This leads us back to Under the Hood. Now because UTH includes a scathing criticism of Batman's no kill rule deontology, but Jason is also presented as a villain in this one, my analysis of the whole comic is based on the confrontation between both of these philosophies and their failures, culminating in a trolley dilemma type situation. So this is why it makes sense to have Bruce get mad at Jason for killing Captain Nazi in self-defense: rejecting self-defense, even against nazis, is the logical absurd conclusion of deontology. Winick is simply taking Bruce's no-kill rule to the limit.

And that's part of what gets me about Jason killing goons (aside from the willis todd thing that should definitely have been addressed in such a plot point.) It's that it feels to me like Jason's philosophy is presented as wrong because it leads to unacceptable decisions, but killing goons is not the logical absurd conclusion of utilitarianism. It's a. a side-effect of Jason's plot against Bruce and/or, depending on how charitable you are to either Jason's intelligence or his morals, b. a miscalculation. Assuming Jason's actions in killing goons are a reflection of his moral code (which is already a great assumption, because people not following their own morals is actually the norm, we are not paragons of virtue), then this means that 1) he has calculated that those goons dying would induce an increase in general global human happiness and thus 2) based on this premise, he follows the utilitarian framework and thus believes it's moral to kill the goons. It's the association of (1) and (2) that leads to an absurd and blatantly immoral consequence, but since the premise (1) is a clear miscalculation, the fact that (1) & (2) leads to something wrong does not count as a valid criticism of (2): to put it differently, since the premise is wrong, the conclusion being wrong does not give me any additional info on the value of the reasoning. This is a little like saying "Since 1+ 3= 5 and 2+2=4, then 1+3+2+2 = 9". The conclusion is wrong, but because the first part (1+3=5) is false, the conclusion being wrong does not mean that the second part (2+2 =4) is wrong. So that's what frustrates me so much when people bring up Jason killing goons as a gotcha for criticizing his utilitarian philosophy, because it is not!! It looks like it from afar but it isn't, which is so frustrating because, as stated previously, there are indeed real limits to utilitarianism that could have been explored instead to truly level the moral playing field between Jason and Bruce.

Now that all of this is said and done, let's talk about what in utilitarianism and deontology makes them flawed and, you guessed it, talk some about neuropsychology (and how that leads to what's imo maybe the most interesting thing about the philosophy in Under the Hood.)

In Green Arrow (2001), in an arc also written by Judd Winick, Mia Dearden meets a tortured man who begs her to kill him to save Star City (which is being massacred), and she kills him, then starts to cry and begs Ollie for confirmation that this was the right thing to do. Does this make Mia a utilitarian? If so, then why did she doubt and cry? Is she instead a deontologist, who made a mistake?

In any case, the reason why Mia's decision was so difficult for her to make and live with, and the reason why all of these trolley-adjacent dilemmas are so hard, is pretty clear. Mia's actions were driven by fear and empathy. It's harder to tolerate sacrificing our own child to avoid killing, it's harder to decide to sacrifice a child than an adult, a world where people are raised to harvest their organs feels horrible because these are real humans we can have empathy towards and putting ourselves in their shoes is terrifying... So we have two "perfectly logical" rational systems toppled by our emotions. But which is wrong: should we try to shut down our empathy and emotions so as to always be righteous? Are they a parasite stopping us from being true moral beings?

Classically, we (at least in my culture in western civilization) have historically separated emotions from cognition (cognition being the domain of thought, reasoning, intelligence, etc.) Descartes, for example, was a philosopher who highlighted a dualist separation of emotion and rationality. For a long time this was the position in psychology, with even nowadays some people who think normal psychologists are for helping with emotions and neuropsychologists are for helping with cognition.(I will fight these people with a stick.) Anyway, that position was the predominant one in psychology up until Damasio (not the famous writer, the neuropsychologist) wrote a book named Descartes' Error. (A fundamental of neuropsychology and a classic that conjugates neurology, psychology and philosophy: what more could you ask for?)

Damasio's book's title speaks for itself: you cannot separate emotion from intelligence. For centuries we have considered emotions to be parasitic towards reasoning, (which even had implications on social themes and constructs through the centuries 📌): you're being emotional, you're letting emotions cloud your judgement, you're emotionally compromised, you're not thinking clearly... (Which is pretty pertinent to consider from the angle of A Death in the Family, because this is literally the reproach Bruce makes to Jason). Damasio based the book on the Damasio couple's (him and his wife) study of Phineas Gage, a very, very famous case of frontal syndrome (damage to the part of the brain just behind the forehead associated with executive functions issues, behavioural issues and emotional regulation). The couple's research on Gage lead Damasio, in his book, to this conclusion: emotions are as much of a part of reasoning and moral decision-making as "cold cognition" (non emotional functioning). Think of it differently: emotional intelligence is a skill. Emotions are tools. On an evolutionary level, it is good that we as people have this skill to try and figure out what others might think and do. That's useful. Of course, that doesn't mean that struggling with empathy makes you immoral, but we people who struggle with empathy have stories of moments where that issue has made us hurt someone's feelings on accident, and it made us sad, because we didn't want to hurt their feelings. On an evolutionary level (and this is where social Darwinism fundamentally fails) humanity has been able to evolve in group and in a transgenerational group (passing knowledge from our ancestors long after their death, belonging to a community spread over a time longer than our lifetime) thanks to social cognition (see Tomasello's position on the evolution of language for more detail on that), and emotions, and "emotional intelligence" is a fundamental part of how that great system works across the ages.

And that's what makes Batman: Under the Hood brilliant on that regard. If I have to make a hypothesis on the state of Winick's knowledge on that stuff, I would say I'm pretty sure he knew about the utilitarism vs deontology issue; much harder to say about the Damasio part, but whether he's well-read in neuropsychology classics or just followed a similar line of reasoning, this is a phenomenally fun framework to consider UTH under.

Because UTH, and Jason's character for the matter, refuse to disregard emotions. Bruce says "we mustn't let ourselves get clouded by our emotions" and Jason, says "maybe you should." I don't necessarily think he has an ethical philosophy framework for that, I still do believe he's a utilitarian, but he's very emotion-driven and struggling to understand a mindframe that doesn't give the same space to emotions in decision-making. And as such, Jason says "it should matter. If the emotion was there, if you loved me so much, then it should matter in your decision of whether or not to let the Joker die, that it wasn't just a random person that he killed, but that he killed your son."

And Bruce is very much doubling down on this mindset of "I must be stronger than my feelings". He is an emotionally repressed character. He says "You don't understand. I don't think you've ever understood", and it's true, Jason can't seem to understand Bruce's position, there's something very "if that person doesn't show love in my perspective and understanding of what love is then they do not love me" about his character that I really appreciate. But Bruce certainly doesn't understand either, because while Jason is constantly asking Bruce for an explanation, for a "why do you not see things the way I do" that could never satisfy him, Bruce doesn't necessarily try to see things the way Jason does. And that's logical, since Jason is a 16 years old having a mental breakdown, and Bruce is a grown man carrying on the mission he has devoted himself to for years, the foundation he has built his life over. He can't allow himself to doubt, and why would he? He's the adult, he's the hero, he is, honestly, a pretty stubborn and set-in-his-ways character. So, instead of rising to the demand of emotional decision-making, Bruce doubles down on trying to ignore his feelings. And Jason, and the story doesn't let him. Bludheaven explodes. This induces extremely intense feelings in Bruce (his son just got exploded), which Jason didn't allow him to deal with, to handle with action or do anything about; Jason says no you stay right there, with me, with those emotions you're living right now, and you're making a decision. And there's the fact Bruce had a mini-heart attack just before thinking Jason was dead again. And there's the fact he mourned Jason for so long, and Stephanie just died, and Tim, Cass and Oracle all left, and the Joker is right there, and Jason puts a gun in his hands (like the gun that killed his parents)... All of that makes it impossible for Bruce to disregard his emotions. The same way Jason, who was spilling utilitarian rhetoric the whole time, is suddenly not talking about the Joker's mass murder victims but about he himself. The same way Jason acts against his own morals in Lost Days by sparing the Joker so they can have this confrontation later. That's part of why it's so important to me that Jason is crying in that confrontation.

Bruce's action at the end of the story can be understood two ways:

-he decides to maim/kill Jason to stop the insupportable influx of emotions, and him turning around is his refusal to look at his decision (looking away as a symbol of shame): Bruce has lost, in so that he cannot escape the dilemma, he succumbs to his emotions and acts against his morals.

-the batarang slicing Jason's throat is an accident: he is trying to find a way out of the dilemma, a solution that lets him save his principles, but his emotions cloud his judgement (maybe his hand trembles? Maybe his vision is blurry?). In any case, he kills his son, and it being an accident doesn't absolve him: his emotions hold more weight than his decision and he ends up acting against his morals anyway.

It's a very old story: a deontologist and a utilitarian try to solve the trolley problem, and everyone still loses. And who's laughing? The nihilist, of course. To him, nothing has sense, and so nothing matters. He's wrong though, always has been. That's the lesson I'm taking from Damasio's work. That's the prism through which I'm comparing empathy to ethics in Levinas' work and agape in Compté-Sponsville's intro to philosophy through.

It should matter. It's so essential that it matters. Love, emotions, empathy: those are fundamental in moral evaluation and decision making. They are a feature, not a bug. And the tragedy is when we try to force ourselves to make them not matter.

Anyway so that was my analysis of why Damasio's position on ethics is so fun to take in account when analysing UTH, hope you found this fun!

#dc #jason todd #dc comics #red hood #under the red hood #anti batman #anti bruce wayne #(< for filtering)#jason todd meta #neuropsychology meta #now with the philosophy extension!!#once again having very intense thoughts about Under The Hood #me talking about the “killing goons” part: this comic is so infuriating #me talking about the final confrontation: this is the greatest comic ever 😭😭#winick stop toying with my emotions challenge #anyway I put a couple of pins on some of the ideas in there don't worry about it #also i was told that color coding helped with clarity so hopefully that's still the case!

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meo-eiru · 6 months ago

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*cracks knuckles* here I am again. this time with Micah as my victim

so at first,

you definitely should add some more story to him. so far, if I'm being honest, he feels a bit too plain to me. but oh boy, what a potential I see here!

alright lets begin

omg look at him! such a hypocrite! how smart it is, to put all blame on MC while being just as (actually even more) sinful. and he sure hides well; it's your fault, isn't it? oh you and your sinful mind.

buut despite him not really being my cup of tea, I still do like a good old concept of ugly insides, hidden behind a beautiful shell (if that's the vibe you were going for).

Micah seems so pure, so holy, almost like an angel (you played smart by adding a lot of white in his design) – but behind that pristine facade? he's ugly. and that shell eventually starts to crack, because no matter how pure he may seem, Micah is just as human as we are, and definitely not a good one. and what are we, if not a bunch of cruel, egotistical animals? and deep inside he's exactly that, sickeningly human. with that in mind the very first comic you did abt him is actually pretty hilarious to me. your desires? what about his desires, which are strong enough to ruin your whole life?

I kinda feel like he's also a little pathetic in his own way; if he can't make you fall for him, he will break you. isn't it like a very cowardly move? he wants you badly enough to use whatever method it may require to have you, but will never admit it.

but let's talk about that strange desire to destroy MC's purity. why? to make you just as dirty as he is? cute, but doesn't seem like a full explanation to me. he's a priest, right? and even despite those dark insides of his, I feel like Micah still kept at least some of the priest mindset. I mean, they're raised and taught with a very strict discipline. so I feel like deep down, he feels bad (not ashamed, but in a "how dare they" way) for his attraction to you, and punishes you for that attraction. it's not your fault, of course, but who cares? you managed to destroy his perfect, clean facade, which he was methodically building for his whole life with simply your existence. isn't that unfair? so now you must fall into the depths of hell with him.

I like how we can't justify him. Micah is perfectly aware of what he is doing. and of twisted nature of his feelings too, I think, yet still chooses to indulge in his desires, even if it hurts you, the person he was supposed to love and cherish. he makes me feel an absolute, poetic rage, and I love a character I can hate. (don't get me wrong, it meant to be a praise)

and I absolutely adore his design. also if I was on point with the idea you meant for him, that is wonderful too. if a character makes me feel something, I like that character. but girl, you really should add more details about him. because everything I've written here is, basically, just my own brainstorming and bare theories. Micah needs to have more meat on him for a full character analysis >_>

but anyway, I actually have a question.

what if MC wasn't in any way pure? what if they're a complete opposite of that word? count it on my love for hunchback of notre dame

unlike the nun MC, I suggest a MC who fully embraces their sins. like an evil succubus, they enjoy the joys of being tainted. they know what influence they have on their dear Father Micah, and isn't ashamed of that. I feel like that would make a pretty interesting story

(cough cough draw him blushing and moaning and my life is yours darling)

Another absolutely incredible ask I'll have a field day answering.

I do agree with him being a bit under developed at the moment. Micah was a bit unfortunate as in he was never meant to be an actual character. He was just a momentary creation who existed for me to study color theory. A beautiful man of flowers who didn't have an identity.

Then he joined the cast when I was busy with working on commissions and the 5k celebration comic so I didn't have the time to draw his introduction comic with the things I had planned for him, though I've been trying my best to explore him a bit more thru asks like this one. The fact that I don't want to spoil the stuff I'll draw in his comic is also holding me back a little.

I think Micah is evil, but not completely bad. A man who was born twisted, who was raised into goodness, and even with all the love he received never truly got rid of his inner darkness, but just once, just for one moment, I think he had good in his heart. And that is when he first saw you.

With all his twistedness, all his evilness, all his darkness, I think that love he felt for you was truly pure. Because in his eyes you appeared truly beautiful, like a pure lily.

But Micah isn't a pure man, neither does he want to be. So he prefers to pull you down to his level, so that you two can be sinful together. A truly impure way of feeling that pure and innocent love.

I have gotten asks about him with a more rowdy darling, one who isn't a nun or one who is more sinful. I've been really brainstorming about it but I don't think it would work. Not because I personally can't force the story into being like that but because I think it was just not meant to be like that.

You see I do come up with the characters, but I don't control their actions. If the character is unwilling I can't shape the story to my will. Because that story is their life and they control it. The best I can do is to try to fill the gaps I can.

I might prefer submissive yanderes, I might want Micah to have a more sinful darling instead but it wouldn't be Micah's story anymore. That's one of the reasons why he's so different from the rest of the boys. I'm not super into very dominant guys, I could probably count the ones I have with one hand, it wasn't my intention for Micah to be the way he is, but I don't think he could've been any other way.

Micah was just meant to be manipulative, a gaslighter, a dirty man who'll pull anything to push you below him.

I guess me looking at my stories from an actual novel or manga perspective also contributes to this. Father Micah exists to shine with a darling who he can soil.

Now the darling can maybe go against him in the future, she might rebel or give in to his sinful ways, but that's a different story.

#asks #micah #yandere priest #yandere priest x reader #fanart #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #male yandere #yandere

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cherllyio · 9 months ago

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Macaque will be trapped in The Underworld - A season 5 theory

Now, why would this make sense? Because it would fit perfectly with his characther devolpemt so far.

So, lets look at the evidence for that.

Macaque has through these 4 seasons gone from someone who does everything for his own sake, because of his own personal trauma, to someone who is starting to develop direct friendships with our main cast. (which this person talks more about in depth)

Therefore, it would make sense, if we start going into the most mysterious part of this monkey’s past: His time in the Underworld.

This would make sense for two reasons:

We could get answers on how he ended up in The Underworld in the first place (aka Shadowpeach lore)

We could get answers on WHY all our mystic monkeys are getting accused of breaking the sky, but we would also get some more answers about this guy, The Traitor.

The Shadowpeach part makes sense, therefore I want to go into more details with the whole “Macaque meeting The Traitor” - part of this theory, because they are actual scenes that indicates this in the trailer.

As this person mentioned in a breakdown of the trailer, it looks a lot like here that Macaque is getting sucked into Li Jing's Pagoda (because of that flashing light that looks awfully similar),

and after I made a timeline of the trailer, I realized that Macaque doesn’t really show up in the following scenes after he supposetly gets trapped in the Pagoda.

So, from a story perspective, it looks like Macaque stayed behind to fight off Li Jing, while the others got away in the car, while he himself got captured. This would then lead to Macaque again getting trapped in The Underworld, so they could keep an eye (pun intended) on him.

This would then result in Macaque getting (PTSD) flashbacks to his time in The Underworld, where there is a pretty realistic chance, in that time, he MET the Traitor.

Think about it. The Traitors whole goal is “chaos”, and our mystic monkeys are nothing but CHAOS. (talked more about this here)

There is also the fact that a theory (you can find it here) going around that The Traitor was the one who released Azure Lion from his prison, but erased his memory so he didn’t remember how he even got out:

(Season 4, ep 10)

Wukong: Wait, how are you here?

Azure: What, what kind of question is that?! You know exactly how-

Wukong: No, here and now. I put you in The Underworld myself. How did you get out? How did you get the scroll? I know for sure you didn’t steal it, you couldn’t have.

Azure Lion: I- I don’t know… I was…

Wukong: Azure! Who gave you that scroll? Because whoever it was, they must have known this would happen. WANTED this to happen, and they used you to do it.

Azure: I just wanted to make the world a better place.

There is then a good chance that he did something similar to Macaques memory, where one of thoughs memories could be his final fight with Wukong.

The Traitor could have made it so that Macaque remembers it as Wukong DIRECTLY killing him, but as David Breen mentioned, that’s just how Macaque views it.

Therefore, that’s what is going to be Macaque next character development in this season:

What happened in the past? More specifically what ACTUALLY between him and Wukong. Because we, the fandom, don’t know, but maybe MACAQUE doesn’t even know himself.

We can also, with this new information, figure out another important of his next arc: The theme of understanding.

We also know that a lot of the reasons for Wukong and Macaques fallout, is because they MISUNDERSTOOD a lot what the other actually intended.

We also know that Macaque is starting to realize that too, in the way he reacted when he saw his and Wukongs fight again: He realized HE MISUNDERSTOOD what Wukong had meant.

The seeds have been planted everyone, and we are know going to see what they are turning into. And that is a story of Understanding, growth, and friendship (or whatever the hell their realtionship is at this point).

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marjoch · 2 months ago

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do you think about me

In an established relationship, Viktor has been engrossed in work while Jayce is feeling neglected. Jayce dares Viktor to follow him along for a day as a councilor. Jayce only wants to spend time with him, and Viktor is learning that Councilor Talis is a big turn on.

[18+]

Mid-summer, sometime closer to fall than spring.

Jayce Talis was hard at work, devising plans to keep his project on track and his city in order. Two jobs were more difficult than one, as anyone would imagine. Anyone apart from Viktor, that was.

On the other hand, Jayce’s partner Viktor spent every moment of his “free” time on their research. “Free” didn’t include typical work, sleeping, or playing. This meant that every moment he wasn’t sleeping or playing (on the rare occasion when both he and Jayce had time), he was ruminating over theories or mathematical equations.

Viktor was every bit of Jayce’s. He was not only a partner in science but a partner in life: the pair of them bonded over their shared passion for science, and continued their relationship depths further to love one another. Jayce had fallen first and Viktor had fallen harder, a dynamic that defined them well. They were partners in every sense of the word. Years prior, when Viktor stopped Jayce from an attempt on his life, the pair of them found themselves intertwined. Concepts led to research, which led from longing to something more official. Nearly everyone they knew were aware of the relationship, including Jayce’s mother, whom Viktor had met several times.

These days, Viktor spent nearly every waking second in their lab. He was withering away as a result of his childhood in the fissures, and Jayce was ever-aware. When he wasn’t preoccupied attending meetings as a councilor, he was by Viktor’s side. Apart from Jayce, no one seemed to care about Viktor’s illness or where it stemmed from. Viktor, however, was determined to keep this from happening to other children. It would be a positive side effect to benefit his own survival, but even now he feared the answer wouldn’t rid him of his ailments.

There was no time. Viktor was fearing a finish line coming into sight, and Jayce was fearing not being respected by his peers. The lab was busy all times of day, with Viktor dedicating the majority of his time to it and Jayce showing up in evenings to pull double shifts (one as a councilor, the other a scientist).

Viktor was dying as a result of his chronic illness. Jayce was dying because of Viktor’s lack of care: his lover even took to sleeping in the lab, something Jayce had a hard time keeping up with due to his rigorous schedule.

On one particular late evening, Jayce put Viktor between a wall and a hard place. Viktor had been working until Jayce convinced him into a make-out session, something spurred between science and boyfriendism. It didn’t last very long, as Viktor was intent on returning to work. Jayce happened to mention his hard day, to which Viktor responded detailing his scientific difficulties.

“It seems you’ve had a productive evening,” said Jayce, in response to Viktor’s seemingly spiraling thoughts pertaining their shared discoveries.

“It seems you don’t care about this as much as your day job,” was Viktor’s response. He meant it genuinely: Jayce had hardly been in the lab recently, focused on his position as a councilor.

“I doubt you could survive a day as a councilor,” returned Jayce, almost a joke, but something serious behind his tone.

Viktor wasn’t one to shy away from a challenge. “You doubt,” he said, “that I could do an easy job.” Science was one thing; diplomacy another.

Jayce seemed intrigued. Viktor wasn’t sure why �� meetings and paperwork were easy to him. He could solo a day of controversy and critique, unfazed. He found the concept of political debate to be boring, even rote. It was always the same at the end.

“Are you accepting the challenge?” Jayce questioned, wanting confirmation. He was good to do so, as he’d lost a bet earlier this year, solely because Viktor lost but they had not locked in their bets prior (and Viktor was better at debate).

Viktor shrugged. “What time do you start tomorrow?”

Jayce informed him the first meeting was shortly after sunrise, and Viktor was not alarmed. He had been expecting something early, and he didn’t particularly care either which way. He was only prepared to defeat his opponent, said opponent being his lover.

Jayce, on the other hand, was missing Viktor. Their jobs kept them separate as much as their work drove them together. It had been weeks since the pair of them had spent a continuous shift in the lab together because Jayce preferred early mornings while Viktor lived and breathed by late nights. Jayce frequently arrived to work around sunrise, and Viktor was fast asleep at the desk, having dozed off in his attempt to stay up. The workload was slowly killing Viktor beyond his illness, and Jayce knew it.

“We’ll rise at sunup,” Jayce said. “Then I’ll show you the routine.”

Viktor was hardly focused on Jayce, consumed by the current problem at hand. Jayce was tired of it, but he knew Viktor was working towards a greater goal, and he extended him the same grace he’d want if he were in that position.

Jayce broke through being practically ignored. “Okay. Tomorrow morning, then.”

“Tomorrow morning,” repeated Viktor, still distracted.

Even despite the frustrations, Jayce still thought the world of his partner. He gave Viktor another kiss, the only time he’d successfully drawn Viktor’s full attention during the course of their conversation.

They shared a residence at this point. Or, rather, they shared two, each belonging to either of them. Jayce’s was “theirs” in every sense, which was founded on the fact that Jayce was often home before Viktor. Jayce liked to change out of the clothes he had to wear as a councilor before heading to the lab. The garb was different: as a councilor, his clothes were crisp and clean-pressed. As Viktor’s partner, however, his clothes were allowed to be wrinkled or worn, whatever was remaining out of the closet.

Jayce went home, and did his nightly routine. He missed when Viktor had been here for it, talking to him and corresponding their lifestyles. Now, he was alone, and he could imagine how Viktor would be lethargic in the morning from a lack of sleep.

When Jayce went to bed, he fully expected to have to walk to back to the lab the next morning and wake Viktor up. He was pleasantly surprised, finding that Viktor had actually come home instead of passing out when he could go no further.

Jayce always set his alarms early. Therefore, he was prepared to stay in bed a little longer, pulling Viktor close and holding him. Viktor slowly awakened, complaining about the warmth (entirely radiating from Jayce) and the hour (which he had agreed to wake upon). Jayce let him go eventually, only to get situated for the day. Viktor remained in bed, completely passed out. Once he was cleaned up and ready to go, Jayce sat on the bed, his hand finding Viktor’s shoulder.

“Come on,” Jayce prompted, in the sweetest tone he could manage. “I’ve got a meeting in thirty minutes. It’s a ten minute walk.”

Viktor awakened quickly, sitting up. Jayce rose to bring his crutch to him, and assisted him up. At the start of their relationship, Viktor would insist he didn’t need help. Nowadays, slowly falling into decline, he took advantage of Jayce’s strength.

Viktor was nonverbal in the mornings, and Jayce could usually appreciate it. He liked the quiet just as much, so it was no trouble when Viktor didn’t have much to say. Today was different, though, because Viktor was completely silent as Jayce was counting the minutes until he would be late. The moment Viktor was ready, Jayce whisked him out the door, considering how much this challenge could possibly bite him in the ass.

“Where are we going?” Viktor finally spoke.

“First meeting,” Jayce responded. “Representatives from Demacia came all this way to meet with us.”

“Who’s included in ‘us’?” Viktor inquired. Jayce could define this as Viktor Has Awakened Phase 2: Too Many Questions. In a different setting, this curious Viktor could appear in moments of sleep deprivation. Jayce knew which version he was signing up for today.

“It’s just Mel and I. She’s familiar with their trade arrangements. We’re finding a middle ground, a transversal way to skip over Noxus completely since we brought the Hexgates into play.”

So many words, not enough energy. Viktor was wilting from the minute he woke up, but he wasn’t going to back out this soon. The words Jayce spoke went in one ear and out the other.

Viktor wasn’t going to let him speak to empty air. “That sounds interesting,” he said, and his tone came across more sarcastically than intended.

This resulted in a response from Jayce. “You don’t have to come with me, really. You can go back to bed. It’s not a huge deal, I know you’ve had a lot on your plate.”

Such a good partner, as always. Jayce’s care was one thing Viktor admired the most. It’s what drew Viktor to him in the first place: the way Jayce latched onto any hopes and dreams, any ways to get his point across. When Viktor met him, he was on the brink of death as a result of losing sight of the goal he’d been working towards all his life. Viktor could relate to that.

“I’m alright,” Viktor shook his head. He kissed Jayce’s lips ever so briefly, indicative of their closeness, and acting as a reassurance. “Carry on.”

Dragged along to the first meeting of the day, Viktor took advantage of this chance to see the sunrise. The outdoors were faintly illuminated, shades of orange and pink framing the eastern landscape. Viktor expectantly awaited the sun’s arrival, hoping it would wake him up.

As they neared the building in which the council hosted their meetings, Jayce checked in with Viktor again. “You can go back to sleep if you want. Just know that once I engage with these people, it’s not something I can turn off. There’s no bailing beyond now, until we get to a break.”

Viktor shrugged. “And? I can handle it. I’m right behind you.”

Shadowing Jayce seemed like an easy feat. He wasn’t intimidated in the slightest, just exhausted from the work he’d done the night before. Viktor couldn’t count on one hand the nights he’d gotten necessary sleep, focused on equations every waking moment apart from now. While this was a nice break for his brain, he was itching to get back to the lab. He’d left a problem hanging, as he always did, and it led to a desire to return.

Jayce went into the first meeting with poise. Viktor had never seen Councilor Talis live in action, but it was clear that this man was someone different than the man he slept next to. For starters, Councilor Talis was polished. He had no hesitations about political indifferences; in fact, he encouraged them. Debate was commonplace, and he was an active participant. Viktor was intrigued by the subject of their discussions with Demacia: classism, inequality, recklessness on behalf of the leaders.

The conversation continued on. Jayce spoke to a military man, someone in charge of Demacia’s extensive forces. Viktor found himself confused, trying to piece together this puzzle. Jayce hadn’t spoken of battle intentions, but this almost read as such. He did not ask any questions, committed to his dare to shadow Jayce and doing him a favor by not stirring up any possible trouble.

Once finished with his first meeting, Jayce shook hands with whomever he was corresponding with. Viktor watched from his side, and found a hand extended in his direction directly after. He obliged with a handshake, almost grateful to be acknowledged.

They moved on, something about picking up new equipment for the transcribers that dedicated their lives to documenting each conversation that occurred within the council. They found their way down to a public square, somewhere Viktor didn’t go often, as he didn’t have much of a reason to. Any equipment he needed, he acquired from Zaun or requested Jayce to bring it by (which Jayce always did, happily).

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jayce almost seemed concerned. The behavior flew over Viktor’s head, solely because he was intrigued by certain booths as they passed through a section of town consisting of resellers. These folks purchased important product and upsold the general public. Viktor knew it was legal, but was annoyed it was even a possibility.

“It could have been worse,” Viktor admitted. “What’s next?”

“We’re just making a quick stop, then I’m visiting the secondary school. The students are studying government, so I’m making an appearance and answering some questions.”

Viktor raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t what he’d imagined, but it wasn’t the worst thing to do. Before he could say anything, Jayce continued.

“Mel suggested it. We were planning to do the event together but there was a last minute schedule change.” He looked down to Viktor with a smile. “I’m happy you’re going with me. I’m excited to show them the potential in connecting science and policy.”

Jayce seemed enthusiastic, which make Viktor smile. Jayce noticed, and Viktor caught a glimpse of that familiar sparkle in his eyes.

When they arrived at the secondary school, the students were still in class. Jayce and Viktor were introduced to the principal and lead teachers, and given a brief tour before being led into an auditorium.

The principal explained the format of this appearance, and Jayce listened attentively, asking relevant questions. Within the half-hour, the seats were filling with teenagers who chatted amongst themselves. The principal addressed the crowd first, and then stepped down for Jayce to take over.

Jayce began by introducing himself and Viktor, who chose to remain sitting offstage. (Being in the spotlight did not count as shadowing Jayce’s job.) He went on to explain his role as a council member, what responsibilities it entailed, and how he made it to this position. All in all, he spoke for some five minutes, deciding against pushing the limits of the class’s attention span.

Following his short speech, he informed the teenagers that he would be answering questions. Viktor missed the explanation of how he would interact with the students, completely lost in experiencing this Councilor Talis.

Seeing Jayce in this setting was causing Viktor’s thoughts to ruminate. At the start of the day, he’d been overthinking the same equation he left off on the night before, but now he was focused on the moment.

Jayce was currently being asked several different questions at once. He laughed, good-natured about the chaos, and raised his voice. “Okay, okay, one at a time. Let’s start up here in the front and work our way back.” He motioned to student in the front who had a notebook with him, pen at the ready.

The student was primed. “What advice do you have for someone wanting to pursue a political career?”

Jayce thought for a moment. Viktor was focused on him more than anyone else in the room. “Be prepared for anything. There are a lot of moving parts, and you have to be adaptable.” Jayce made eye contact with the owner of the next hand in the air, and nodded, encouraging speech.

Viktor lost the conversation at that point, too focused on Jayce to process anything being said. At some point he was brought back down to earth by a nudge on his arm.

He turned to see a red-haired teenage girl, dressed in all black. “Sorry,” she said. “I just wanted to ask you something, if that’s okay.” In waiting, she fidgeted with the hem of the sleeve on her jacket.

Viktor nodded. “Go ahead. I’m no politician, though, only a scientist.”

She smiled. “I know. I’ve heard about your work, although it’s hard to find any information about you.” She stopped messing with the cuff of the jacket and pulled it up slightly, raising her arm. Underneath the jacket was a brace of silver metal, fitted to her skin. “I had an accident when I was a kid. I’ve been trying to figure out the mobility on this, I thought you might know what to do.”

Viktor met her eyes again before looking at the brace closer. He raised his hand, hovering near. “May I?” She nodded. With permission, Viktor touched the brace, turning her forearm around ever-so-slightly to see it from an angle. “You did this on your own?”

Another nod from the girl, who remained silent as he examined the work.

“It’s very impressive, Miss…”

“Sienna,” she introduced. “And you’re Viktor.”

He smiled, happy to be recognized. “That I am.” He continued looking at the brace, and nodded. “I think this is a good start. I can see where you’re having trouble. I think it’s all about the measurements. See how it extends over the wrist just slightly?” He pointed to the metal piece. “It restricts. You want to feel aided, not hindered.”

Sienna’s eyes lit up. Viktor let go of the brace, and she twisted her arm to feel the resistance he spoke of. “Oh, that’s genius! Thank you so much. You’ve really helped, you have no idea.”

Satisfied with her answer, she began to drift back into the now-dispersing crowd of teens. “Anytime,” Viktor said, giving her a little wave as she went.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, then and turned to see Jayce, who had caught the end of the conversation and hadn’t dared interrupt. Jayce’s hand lingered even as Viktor turned, and then made its way down his arm and to his hand, holding it tight. His expression was one of admiration. “Ready to go?”

Viktor wanted Jayce alone, but he knew that wasn’t happening anytime soon. “Where to next?”

“Back into another meeting, this time with the council. It may get heated. We’ll find out.” Jayce motioned towards the door, letting Viktor lead them back out of the building. He was always close behind.

Once outside, Jayce remained by Viktor’s side. Due to the distance between the future meeting room and the school, they opted to take transportation. They both took a moment to sit and breathe in silence, resting from how busy it had been. Jayce was revisiting possible topics to bring up at the meeting. Viktor was imagining him breathing heavy on the council bathroom counter.

“How are you doing?” Jayce checked in again. Viktor was in another world. “Viktor?” Even that didn’t work. Jayce put his hand up and waved. “Hello? Viktor?”

Back to earth. “Sorry,” Viktor said. “There’s… a lot on my mind.”

Jayce’s face fell, assuming Viktor was talking about work. He knew it was important, because he thought it held the same importance to him.

Viktor noticed the shift, and reached out to touch Jayce’s knee. “I’m here, Jayce,” he said. “I’m on the job with you. Just tell me what to do.”

Jayce was pleased to hear that Viktor was willing to keep following him around. Viktor was internally screaming at Jayce for being right — this was a busy job. It was also entertaining, as long as he got to witness Councilor Talis in action.

Their arrival at the council meeting kicked off another spur of important events: Jayce negotiating with the rest of the members about economic stability, lines of defense, even future changes to their own scheduling.

Viktor remained in a chair beside Jayce, attempting to keep up with the quick conversation. He was glad he didn’t have to remember any of this. He was also starting to see why Jayce was so tired when he came in after a full day of meetings.

“It would be a poor use of our resources,” Jayce was saying, and Viktor was lost on the subject entirely. “There’s no reason for us to spend beyond our means when we own the means of production.”

“Production that is executed better by an outside source, mind you,” Salo argued. “What persuades anyone to choose our method over something that delivers faster?”

Another eruption of back-and-forth. All the while, Viktor became more focused on his partner. This longing had been overtaking him all day, and he was nearly at his wits end. He found himself daydreaming about where this specific scene could take them: the meeting concluding, everyone else leaving the room, him convincing Jayce to stay behind. He could imagine the feeling of Jayce’s hands on him, the cold surface of the table, the acoustics in a space this large…

The meeting continued on. Minutes passed, and half an hour, and then a full hour… which extended into another. Viktor was itching to get home, and for once, it wasn’t work-related. When the council finally came to an agreement on the last topic, Jayce seemed relieved. Everyone dispersed, and Jayce turned to Viktor for unprompted approval.

“You’re very well-spoken,” Viktor affirmed.

Jayce smiled, confidence refreshed. “Thank you.” He picked up the pages he’d been referring to during the meeting, and stood. “I just have to stop by the lab, and then we can head back.”

The lab! An excellent place for the things that were on Viktor’s mind. It wouldn’t be the first time they utilized the space, and surely it wouldn’t be the last. Viktor followed Jayce out, falling behind with the intent purpose of watching Jayce as he led the way. His partner was far too attentive, slowing just the slightest so Viktor could catch up. Therefore Viktor forfeited the view he’d worked for, and they travelled side-by-side.

At the lab, Jayce moved quickly. He dropped off the notes he’d referred to at the meeting, and searched around for other notes he planned to look over with his morning coffee the following day. When he found them, Viktor was standing nearby, completely lost to his imagination.

Jayce was surprised Viktor wasn’t rushing to finish any of his equations. In all honesty, he’d expected for this lab visit to be more of a drop-off for Viktor to inevitably spend the night working. It was a way for Jayce to guarantee he could say goodnight.

Viktor, on the other hand, was exercising self-control. He’d made it to this point so Jayce couldn’t say anything about him distracting from the work day, and this felt like the home stretch. Forget the moments they could share here and now: he was going to get Jayce home, and he was going to tire him out. “Ready?” Viktor asked.

Jayce was visibly excited to go home together. He nodded, smiling faintly, and leaned down to give Viktor a brief kiss. He had no clue of the effect it had on Viktor, making it infinitely harder to continue waiting until they were home. Viktor remained where he was as Jayce began to exit, and Jayce seemed concerned when he looked back, as if Viktor may change his mind about returning home.

Meanwhile, Viktor was once again lost in thought. Jayce still had no clue. Viktor caught up, his longing guiding the way home. He was getting closer to abandoning all sense of decency and jumping Jayce in the street. As he genuinely considered the consequences of a detour, their final destination came into sight.

Jayce, unaware of Viktor’s thoughts, approached the door. He reached in his pocket for his keys, and found the one corresponding to the door. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I told you I could handle it,” Viktor remarked.

“You proved me wrong,” Jayce said, unlocking the door. Viktor watched him intently, counting each second it took him to let them inside. The moment the door was open, Viktor pushed Jayce inside. “Hey,” Jayce protested.

Viktor didn’t have a thing to say in response. He blindly pushed the door shut and reached for the crisp jacket Jayce only wore as councilor, pulling him right into a kiss. It was immediately intense, catching Jayce off guard. He easily adjusted, giving into the rush. Viktor threw Jayce’s jacket somewhere near the door.

Jayce was backing up, then, with Viktor’s guidance. Viktor continued kissing him, slowly moving them to the bedroom, fingers working at Jayce’s shirt, kicking off his own shoes. Jayce did the same, leading Viktor to trip on them, which caused him to accidentally overestimate the door in their blind travel. Jayce’s back hit the door frame, halting their motion.

“Are you okay?” Viktor immediately asked, pausing the action of undressing Jayce.

Now that Viktor had started things off, Jayce was equally into it. He didn’t speak a verbal confirmation of his wellbeing, he just moved himself into the actual doorframe, put his hands on Viktor’s hips, and kept moving backwards to bring them further into the room. Viktor finished getting rid of Jayce’s shirt, and threw it wherever they were now, reaching for his belt. Jayce was matching the energy, unbuttoning Viktor’s shirt.

Viktor pushed Jayce to sit down on the bed as they got close enough, but he remained standing for a moment, staring down at his lover. He shook his head. “You looked good in that outfit.” He moved closer, reaching for Jayce’s chin and angling his face upwards, looking down at a very attentive councilor. “You don’t know what I went through today, watching you walk around in it, having to wait to take it off.”

Jayce remained where Viktor directed him, expectant. “I was elated to have you with me. You know I would do whatever you asked.”

“I know,” Viktor said in a low tone. He leaned down, kissing Jayce gently. Jayce followed his lead. It was gentle for all of a minute, before Viktor changed up the mood. He sank into Jayce’s lap, giving himself a better angle. He reached down to finish undoing Jayce’s belt, settling to undo his pants and pushing Jayce backwards onto the bed.

Viktor wasn’t wasting any time. Shirt still hanging from his shoulders, completely unbuttoned, he kissed Jayce’s neck and down to his chest before returning to his lips. He took control, reaching down and playing with Jayce to rile him up before taking all of him in. He sighed heavily upon the initial contact, and Jayce reached up to touch his cheek.

Viktor moved his head to kiss Jayce’s palm, and worked on the pacing. Jayce let him have control, taken by Viktor’s forwardness this time around. The last times they’d engaged in this sort of activity, Jayce had been the one taking the lead. Jayce had even gotten the impression he wanted it more. Now was completely the opposite: Jayce was captivated by Viktor’s desire.

Another sigh from Viktor, this one louder and followed by a sound of pleasure. His hands found Jayce’s chest, and Jayce’s rested on Viktor’s hips. Jayce was having a good time, satisfaction increased by his perception of Viktor’s need. A slight change in the pace, and Viktor became increasingly more verbal until he muttered a quiet “Oh my god, Jayce.” He stopped, then, collapsing onto Jayce’s chest, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.”

The smallest laugh from a very amused Jayce. “Already?”

Still catching his breath, Viktor nodded against Jayce’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“What for?” returned Jayce, running his hands through Viktor’s hair.

Viktor’s mood never faltered. “I’ve needed you all day, more than you know.” He kissed Jayce’s neck before propping himself up again, meeting his lips hard.

Impressed with the order of events, Jayce continued following Viktor’s lead during the increasingly intense make-out. He reached up and finally got rid of Viktor’s shirt. Within a few minutes, Jayce gripped Viktor’s hips and flipped them so he could look downwards at his lover. Viktor hardly broke the kiss during the switch.

“Let me take care of you,” Jayce interrupted. Viktor pulled him back into another kiss, seemingly unwilling to let them part. Jayce had another idea, moving from Viktor’s lips down to his neck, trailing to his chest and his stomach, and then even lower, territory he’d claimed as his own. He finished undressing Viktor, and moved to give him another kiss on the lips. “Yeah?”

Viktor nodded, and Jayce returned to tracing his way down Viktor’s body. The very moment he set to work at his destination, Viktor inhaled sharply and exhaled deep.

Jayce should have received an award for his skill with his tongue. Viktor had seen him as Councilor Talis, delivering well-worded speeches and getting his point across. This was a different use of his ability, something reserved for his partner.

Viktor admired how the feeling took him to another place. This moment was a world all its own, somewhere with endless clear skies and just enough light, lush forests surrounding the beautiful isolation they lived in. Jayce took him on a journey through the trees, up to a mountain that both of them were intent on climbing.

Jayce took the longest path up the mountain, guiding Viktor through the landscape. When Viktor noticed a shortcut, Jayce kept him walking down the same winding road, leaving Viktor aching to find the summit and see the view. It came into sight, now, and Jayce gave him the nudge he needed to finally reach the top.

Viktor’s hands were tangled in Jayce’s hair. Jayce returned to his lips by taking the long way home: trailing gentle kisses up Viktor’s body. Viktor met him halfway, eager. Jayce was determined to keep the control for a little longer, and Viktor pushed back on it.

The intensity of Jayce’s desire caused him to nonverbally emphasize his desire to lead. Viktor deferred, wanting Jayce to find satisfaction as he had before. Jayce wanted it concurrently with his partner, which led him to position Viktor on the edge of the bed. When he moved himself inside, Viktor thought the sound was heavenly. Jayce’s hands drifted from Viktor’s hands to his waist, his chosen place of rest.

Loving Jayce was all there was for Viktor. Jayce was kind to him, and caring in every way. Even now, he made Viktor his priority, looking down at him with an indescribable glint in his eye: a reflection of fascination, passion, and adoration. Viktor caught each meaning, cherishing the fact that he could feel this understood. Jayce was the only person who’d ever made Viktor aware of the fact that there was beauty beyond his flaws.

In a similar sense, loving Viktor was everything to Jayce. Viktor was intelligent, something that had initially drawn his interest. It served him well in the way he remembered all of the details about Jayce: his preferences, his deepest thoughts, the expressions he made to himself when he was focused. Jayce only ever desired to be near him, most comfortable in his presence. These private nights meant more to him than any achievement.

Jayce was setting the pace this time around, and Viktor was incapable of keeping himself together. It had been a long time since Jayce had seen him like this: visibly sweating, craving closeness until they could go no further, only desiring more despite fulfillment. Viktor was, in every sense of the word, desperate. Jayce was, in every sense of the role, a people-pleaser.

“Hang in there,” Jayce muttered, in response to Viktor speaking up. Viktor responded in breaths, heavy and hitched. “Wait for me.”

Viktor nodded, unable to say anything through the intense satisfaction. He would shadow Jayce a hundred more shifts if this was the outcome. He always wanted his lover in this way, but it was magnified in this circumstance.

“Fuck,” Jayce was barely audible. He was working now, keeping Viktor from tipping over the edge. He gripped Viktor’s hips, more focused on maintaining the pacing and the consistency and less so on the possibility of bruises in the morning. Viktor agreed with the decision.

Viktor shifted, then, causing Jayce to slow his rhythm. “You’re almost there,” Jayce encouraged. “Wait for me.”

“I can’t,” Viktor breathed, hands finding Jayce’s on his own hips.

“You can,” Jayce groaned. “I’m almost there.”

Viktor found a grip on the sheets, and Jayce reveled at the sight. He considered it an honor to be this person for Viktor, who he believed to be the most important figure in his life. Without Viktor, he wouldn’t be here today. Without Viktor…

“Okay,” Jayce murmured, breathing heavily from the exertion.

Finally, they finished together. Viktor grasped at Jayce’s arm, holding onto him tight, even as Jayce laid down next to him. Jayce searched Viktor’s eyes for any nonverbal communication. Once he’d barely caught his breath, Viktor kissed him again.

When the kissing continued longer than expected, Jayce laughed against Viktor’s lips. “You want to go again?”

“Mmhm,” Viktor affirmed as he kissed Jayce, forgoing language and instead running his hands through his lover’s hair. Jayce obliged to continue on, wrapping his arms around Viktor’s waist. Almost as if in sync, they each reached down with the intention of pleasing the other. And so it became a sort of game as they continued to kiss, tongues exploring familiar territory.

This wasn’t new for them. They’d been dating long enough to understand each other well enough, so well that they knew precisely how the other wanted it. All parts of their bodies were useful to one another, especially their hands, which they utilized now. Jayce gasped against Viktor’s lips, and Viktor smirked.

“Wait for me,” Viktor whispered, teasing Jayce with his own words from before.

This was the first time since they started that Jayce was truly at Viktor’s mercy. Viktor knew exactly what to do, how to make him feel just right. It was harder to focus since Jayce was doing the same to him, but he was determined to win.

For Jayce, the experience was more like crossing an ocean. There was an island off in the distance, and Viktor was rowing the boat that drew them closer, perfect clouds dotting the sky above the horizon. Viktor knew how to cross the sea directly, but he seemed intent on weaving through the waves, slow and steady.

There was no sense of Viktor’s plan to reach the island, only that he was guiding Jayce just as Jayce had before. While Viktor was patient along his previous journey up the mountain, Jayce didn’t care if he jumped overboard. He decided to swim to shore.

Jayce took control again, switching the tides. Viktor found himself staring up into his eyes, which spoke of his hunger. Viktor was equally approving of the change, feeling as if he was knowing Councilor Talis as opposed to his research partner.

Crossing this ocean on his own accord required more effort, but yielded better results. Jayce was a voyager, and he carried them both. He catered to each of their needs, finding his way inside Viktor once again and verbally appreciating this new position. Viktor wrapped his arm’s around Jayce’s neck to keep him close, needing the symphony of Jayce’s approving breaths in his ear.

“You’re everything to me,” Jayce said, tone low, barely a whisper.

“Show me,” Viktor returned, just as quiet.

Jayce didn’t have to be told twice. He focused, the faintest noises finding their way from his throat to Viktor’s ear. A barely audible murmur of Viktor’s name, a heavy exhale, all of it made his partner spiral. As they reached the island from the initial journey, Jayce looked to see if Viktor was close behind. Viktor sensed this inquiry, and nodded, his cheek brushing Jayce’s.

“Go on,” he said, speaking of the shore they neared. Jayce listened, and Viktor was thinking of any mathematic formula that would allow him to bottle up this moment for future reference. At a loss for any ways to immortalize the feeling, he followed Jayce’s lead as he made it to the beach. The sun shone brighter than ever from this place in the landscape, and the relief of arrival washed over both of them.

Exhausted from his efforts, Jayce collapsed onto Viktor. Both of them were breathing heavily, out of sync but in a way that still sounded symphonic: rounds, harmonizing. They remained there until Viktor tapped Jayce’s arm. “You’re heavy,” he said.

“Sorry,” was Jayce’s response as he lifted himself back up, kissing Viktor. He then rolled to lay next to him, staring up at the ceiling. “Fuck,” he murmured. “You wanted me that bad, all day?”

“I want you that bad, all the time,” Viktor turned to face him, laying on his side. “We’ve been busy, but I miss you.”

Jayce just smiled, and Viktor could see his cheeks flush. It made Viktor smile in return, and he touched Jayce’s cheek, a gentle gesture.

Viktor continued before Jayce could speak, tracing his fingers across his partner’s skin. “I wish we could be here forever. I wish I could stop the flow of time, just to stay with you.”

It was a somber shift of topic, a reminder that Viktor had limited time. Jayce hated to talk about it, but he gently caught Viktor’s hand and kissed the back of it. “We’ll find a way,” he said.

Viktor smiled again, but it was sad. He nodded in affirmation, falling quiet. Jayce knew where his thoughts had wandered to, because he knew Viktor.

Jayce gave him a kiss on the forehead. “You go take a shower,” he said, combing through Viktor’s hair with his fingers. “I’ll change the bedding, and I’ll be right there.”

Viktor nodded again, listening to Jayce and heading towards the door directly off of the bedroom. It was a large bathroom, one they’d spent plenty of time in together, getting ready or discovering new ways to explore each other. Viktor’s mood shifts were not atypical, especially in the moments where he was able to grasp all that he would miss when he did reach the end of the road. He tried not to think about it, turning the shower on and waiting for the water to warm up.

Jayce was right behind him, as promised. It only took him a few minutes to get their room ready for sleep, and when he wandered to the bathroom, he found Viktor sitting and staring. The dissociation wasn’t uncommon, and Jayce knew how to bring him back to earth. He walked to Viktor and put a hand on his back, a gesture that spoke of his care for Viktor and his own love language of physical touch.

“Hey,” Jayce said, voice quiet, easy to break through Viktor’s trance. He successfully drew Viktor’s attention, and his lover looked up at him, sighing.

“Sorry,” Viktor said. He shook his head, as if it would expel the thoughts. He hated feeling like this, especially after he spent all day wallowing in longing and reaching for a moment that already occurred. The previous experiences felt futile, some heartbreaking resolve that he assumed it would be the last time. Many moments felt like the last time, even if they weren’t. It felt impossible to overcome.

His partner was understanding. “For what?” Jayce said, hand still on Viktor’s back, tracing circles that grounded his racing thoughts. “Let me help with your brace.”

Viktor nodded, still nearly nonverbal, a position he was only in upon waking and nearing bedtime. Jayce could sense his exhaustion, and did all of the work to unfasten the bolts and screws that kept Viktor’s leg in working condition. Free of the brace for once, Viktor sighed, hand rubbing his upper thigh.

“Is it still causing resistance?” Jayce asked, looking up at Viktor from where he knelt in front of him. “I can adjust it to be more comfortable.”

“It’s perfect,” Viktor said. It was hard to be in this state. Jayce had known him prior, and he almost felt burdensome for needing this much attention. He meant his words, though: the brace was as comfortable as it could be. Even with the odd pressure points and occasional blisters, it was better than living without it.

The steam from the hot water running in the shower was starting to cloud the room, and Jayce offered support to Viktor, who took it. Together, they stepped into the shower, something Jayce was hoping to have replaced soon so Viktor would have a place to sit during the rare moments he wasn’t in the brace.

Where Viktor had taken the lead in kicking off events, Jayce took the lead in the interim between the action and falling asleep. He took care of Viktor, washing his hair, giving him gentle kisses under the showerhead. Viktor was grateful, albeit lost in his pre-sleep nonverbal exhaustive state.

Jayce was aware, taking care of him and sitting him down once they were finished, wrapping a towel around Viktor’s shoulders and singlehandedly focusing on reinstalling Viktor’s brace before he dressed himself. Viktor reached down to help, and Jayce stopped him, shaking his head.

“I got you,” Jayce said, a guarantee that he was willing to take care of his partner. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this for Viktor, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“Thank you,” Viktor responded, looking at Jayce with affection. He didn’t have much energy to speak paragraphs of admiration, but it was understood between them. Jayce knew everything about Viktor, from the way he communicated when he wasn’t able to speak to the way he preferred to sleep in the brace to prevent twisting and turning during the night. Jayce had been there when he’d woken up in pain in the middle of the night. Jayce had been there when he was unable to speak for days after a temporary illness. Jayce had been there when he thought no one was.

He helped walk Viktor back to their room, and put the crutch by his side of the bed. Viktor was grateful beyond words, and Jayce understood beyond language.

When Jayce settled into bed, Viktor was already asleep. Jayce watched him until he could stay awake no longer, drifting off with peace knowing that his partner was comfortable. He had to get up early in the morning, but every opportunity he was given to be with him was taken. Viktor knew of his love, but Jayce's was deeper than perception: care within his very bones, something Viktor could not see without ripping him apart. Settled next to Viktor, Jayce found it easy to sleep, remaining close enough to feel his partner’s warmth without the complaints of his own body heat.

In the early morning, Jayce pulled Viktor close before his departure. Despite feeling overheated from his partner’s closeness, Viktor refrained from complaint, recognizing that this sort of care only came around once in a lifetime. In all timelines, he would search for this Jayce, desiring any semblance of what they had experienced together.

#arcane #jayce talis #jayce x viktor #jayvik #viktor arcane

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elrielffs · 7 months ago

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This is just a loose theorizing by me about Gwyn's role in the future books and how this ties to Azriel and an Elriel story.

It's not meant to be anti-Gwyn. I actually really like Gwyn as a character but it does incorporate Lightsinger Gwyn and for some, this is anti-rhetoric.

This is just me kicking things around in my noggin' and nothing concrete but just loose attachments.

Under the cut cause it's kinda long.

I was thinking about some of the details we've been given in story and some meta things from SJM's pinterest. I don't really subscribe to the pinterest as end all be all but I do think some things are very interesting on it.

I do think SJM is pulling from various fairytales and myths, particularly Blodeuwedd, Koschei the Deathless and other Russian folktales, and The Little Mermaid. We know SJM takes inspiration from fairy tales.

First we have Blodeuwedd which SJM saved titling Elain. The story of Blodeuwedd is that she was made to be the perfect wife of Lleu Llaw Gyffes but rejects him and falls in love with another, Gronw Pebr.

In the Koschei and the Deathless, we have Ivan Tsarevich who has 3 sisters that marry 3 winged wizards. Ivan saves Marya Morevna, a warrior princess, from Koschei and marries her.

I think the first two speaks for themselves on how they relate to ACOTAR so I won't delve to much into it but you can see how it relates to the story that is playing out.

Last is The Little Mermaid. We all know this story because of Disney and also it's probably one of the more well known fairy tales' but the broad strokes of the ORIGINAL telling is: The Little Mermaid falls in love with the human prince, makes a deal with the Sea Witch for her fins to be turned into legs to be with him on land, the prince falls in love with someone else, and the Mermaid is tasked by the Sea Witch with killing the prince to get her fins back but she can't do it because she loves the prince too much and instead turns into bubbles/foam/becomes an air spirit.

How does this relate to Gwyn?

Gwyn has been described many a time with ocean/water like imagery and has been stated to have nymph heritage. Her eyes are constantly described as the sunlit sea and she even says the quote," I am the rock on which the surf crashes."

We are also told about Lightsingers in the same book that Gwyn is introduced: They are ethereal beings who will lure their prey to them, appearing as friendly faces. Only when their prey were in their arms would their true faces emerge.

This shares many similarities to Sirens: creatures that live in or by the ocean, that lure victims to them with an alluring voice. Sirens have also become synonymous with mermaids, merging into one creature with siren and mermaid being used interchangeably to describe the one being.

Gwyn has show these same characteristics in story. Gwyn is shown to be a singer and have a beautiful voice and to also glow when she sings.

When Nesta hears Gwyn sing she describes it thus:

Drawing any listener in.

Nesta also says this about Gwyn upon first meeting her:

Gwyn also tells Nesta at one point that Nesta wouldn't like the "real" her.

I won't go too in depth to the Lightsinger theory because there are plenty of other posts floating around breaking it down better than me but suffice to say that there is a correlation between Gwyn's voice/singing=some type of power. This easily translates into Lightsinger/mermaid/siren imagery and theory.

Now this next part is just me spit balling and is more fast and loose and how this could tie into an Elriel story:

We don't know too much about Koschei in story except that he's a Death God and older brother to Stryga and the Bone Carver, beings who traveled from another world to Prythian (Daglan/Asteri?) and a powerful wizard that cursed Vassa.

At one point he tells Azriel he has "been preparing for you". What could this mean? Why has he been preparing for Azriel?

Why would Koschei, who is a powerful wizard, bargain with the Acheron's father, a human nobody? Is it because he is Elain's father?

Rhysand speculates that there's a possibility that the priestess have been infiltrated. We saw with Ianthe that not all priestess's harbor good intentions and in ACOWAR that the library can be broken into.

It has been highly speculated that Merrill, a priestess in the Library, is up to something. Is she in line with Koschei?

Who works under Merrill? Gwyn.

We know from HOFAS that the cauldron is corrupted by the Asteri/Daglan, a fact speculated by Azriel himself in the bonus chapter.

Is possible that Koschei as a Daglan/Asteri had a hand in corrupting the cauldron to mix up Elain's mates? Is that how Koschei "prepared" for Azriel?

And what about Gwyn working under Merrill? Gwyn could be manipulated and unknowingly assisting Koschei/Merrill or she could be working for them for some kind of favor--returning her sister Catrin to life?

Also, the fact that Gwyn and Catrin are twins can be used for shenanigan's. What if Gwyn is actually Catrin? (This is purely speculative on my part by the fact that they were made twins rather than just sisters.)

It's also mentioned that Catrin had webbed fingers. I love this little detail and wish Gwyn had them too but is there a reason she doesn't? Could this be to distinguish Catrin and Gwyn at a later date besides hair color?

Could Merrill/Koschei know about Gwyn's Lightsinger heritage and be using her as way to lure Azriel away from Elain?

What is one of the gifts Elain gets Azriel? Ear plugs.

We know it as a gag gift but we also know that Elain has visions--we don't know how fragmented or how fully she receives them but is is possible that she saw something that inspired her to give Azriel the ear plugs?

Is this to upset the balance of the 6 pointed star mentioned in HOFAS?

Could Gwyn, unknowingly or knowingly be working for Koschei to infiltrate the IC via Nesta and the training, lure Azriel away from Elain? Could Gwyn fall in love (this part is not needed, it can be just business on Gwyn's end) with Azriel but realize thru her connections with the Valkyries and training and Azriel that she can't go thru with it?

Let me reiterate, I don't think Gwyn is evil. I think she could be manipulated, coerced, or promised something she can't refuse to help or go along with Koschei/Merrill. She might not even know it's Koschei she is helping or that she is even in fact assisting. She could be manipulated into using her unknown Lightersinger powers.

Gwyn (the Mermaid) is promised/manipulated into using her Lightsinger powers by Koschei/Merrill (Sea Witch) to lure Azriel (the prince) away from Elain (the woman the prince loves) but the end she can't go thru with it either because she realizes it's wrong, realizes she's being manipulated or because she can't do that to Azriel.

I know there is more that can be conjected but this is already quite long and I didn't even delve into the Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty parallels.

I realize this could have been posted before and nothing new but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and hear some more of my fellow Elriels!

#elriel #babys first theory post #only tagging elriel cause i dont want it to leave our bubble #not arguing with antis lol

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44ants · 9 months ago

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An Avid Listener

DBH Conner/ F!Reader One Shot

Sort of Yandere?

My first one shot! (I believe that's what it's called anyway. Or is it an imagine?) I'm currently hyper-fixated on DBH so I need to get it out of my system. This is pretty much just slapped together and not planned out at all.

"What are you listening to?"

"Can't you just fucking leave me alone? I'm trying to get this report written so I can leave!" Gavin whined exasperated. He glared at Conner from the corner of his eye. He desperately tried to shield the right side of his face with his hand, hoping the android would take the hint and leave.

"I'm trying to diversify my music choices. It was recommended to me that I ask others what they like to discover my own preferences. If you tell me, I'll leave you alone." Conner negotiated, rubbing his hands together before politely holding them behind his back. He hoped to look innocent and endearing to achieve his goal.

"Why the hell do you even want to listen to music? It's meant to provoke emotion! You know? To make you feel things?" Gavin wasn't even sure why he was entertaining the conversation at this point. What good was arguing with him if he always had a comeback locked and loaded?

"That's exactly what I'm hoping to achieve." He countered and cocked his head.

"I'm not even listening to music. It's a podcast."

"I have not listened to any podcasts yet. What is it about?"

He decided it was best to just give up and slammed his phone down on the desk. Conner leaned over and read what was on the screen: 'Myrtoalett'. It translated to 'Bog Toilet' in Swedish and the cover was of a crucified fetus. "Interesting. I'll come back to you and give you my feedback once I've finished listening." He turned to head back to his own desk conjoined with Hank's who was currently passed out in his chair.

"Please don't." Gavin murmured, "And good luck! There's, like, 400 episodes!"

Skimming roughly through articles and the basic summary of the podcast, he found that it was a talk show that covered serial killers, murders, and the paranormal. There were three hosts: Jeremy Tompson, Elias Rask, and Y/N. He decided he'd listen once he made it home with Hank.

To say the least, Conner was hooked. Every free moment he had that didn't require his full attention was spent listening to Myrtoalett. He struggled with finding the humor in some of the hosts' jokes and found some conversations a little too vulgar and distasteful, but actually paying attention to details of old cases despite already having a vast knowledge of them was very addicting to him. It brought a strange amount of satisfaction to him to anticipate where the case would go next and hearing every little disgusting detail of how serial killers enacted their murders. He took enjoyment in ignoring any previous knowledge he had about axe murderers or famous killers and just immersing himself in the stories. The comradery amongst the hosts was amusing as well, but mostly he found his enjoyment in the podcast from listening to this Y/N girl. There were three distinct roles between the hosts. Jeremy was the main host, went into the episodes with no previous knowledge about the topics, and forced the others to elaborate by asking questions. Elias provided the most comedic relief and went into in-depth conspiracy theory rants. Y/N was the main researcher. She seemingly spent weeks researching the topics they spoke about and mainly talked the most. He admired the dedication she had to finding each and every detail, no matter how minuscule. Conner thought she'd make a good detective and her story telling skills enraptured him. Her voice was soothing no matter how gruesome the topic and perfectly dictated the feelings you should have. Oh? The final victim of the Toy Box Killer is escaping? He felt like he was on the edge of his seat. A soldier is retelling his experiences from the Edwood Experiments? He was horrified. Police were describing what the inside of Ed Kemper's house was like? He was intrigued. JonBenet Ramsey's father discovered her corpse? There needed to be justice! This was exactly what he was looking for in discovering new media! Finding something that would evoke new emotions for him to discover since his deviancy.

It wasn't just her story telling that intrigued him, but the fact that she gave out such little details about her life compared to the other hosts. Rarely did she indulge the listeners in personal aspects of her life. It irritated him to no end to listen to Jeremy and Elias speak about their upbringings or what serial killers were from their state and knowing nothing about Y/N! He couldn't help himself but to look into her more. There was nothing wrong with that, right? She was a celebrity! Their podcast had a pretty big following. It was only natural that there would be so much information about her on the internet! It wasn't a crime to have access to what everyone else did! Looking into her criminal record using his access from DPD wasn't wrong either. With how much knowledge she had about criminals, it was possible that she herself was a criminal! There was nothing wrong with just making sure she wasn't! It was his job to keep people safe and ask questions when necessary. It didn't help that she was the only female on the show and was often compared to the female victims of murderers! He needed to keep what tabs he could on her and make sure fans didn't get any funny ideas! It wasn't smart for them to put thoughts like that into people's heads.

It wasn't long before his life revolved around the podcast. It wasn't long before he had listened through each and every episode and consumed every piece of media he could find about it. It wasn't long until he felt absolutely empty waiting for a new episode to be released. One episode a week wasn't enough for him. What was supposed to keep him occupied besides the one hour of entertainment he got on Saturdays. What was he supposed to do when they took breaks for holidays and vacations? Relistening to old episodes was the only thing he could do. What was he supposed to feel if Y/N wasn't there to tell him what to feel?

The longer he spent obsessed with the show, the more his emotions became twisted. His sick fascination with serial killers only deepened. It wasn't sick, right? He wasn't the one making a whole show about it! He wasn't the one talking about people who built entire structures and hotels to rape and kill victims! He wasn't the one that made jokes about Y/N being trapped in a basement, all tied up, being forced to have things done to her without her consent. He didn't have those thoughts. He didn't have those feelings of excitement and thrill at the idea of holding her down and having complete control over her. He didn't.

He didn't fantasize about being the one to save her from a murderer or a kidnapper. He didn't.

He didn't think about finding where she lived and going to her house. He didn't

He didn't think about finding out her schedule and 'accidentally' running into her at the coffee shop she loved. He didn't.

He didn't think about the best ways to impress her.

He didn't daydream about her every waking moment.

He didn't think about what it'd feel like to hold her lovingly.

He didn't think about what she'd feel like in his arms. Writhing and screaming.

He didn't.

#dbh #connor dbh x reader #dbh connor #dbh rk800 #yandere connor #yandere rk800 #obsessive connor #obsessive connor dbh #detroit become human #connor #connor rk800

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gffa · 1 year ago

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What I mean when I say, "I think we have to have learned our lesson by this point [with Star Wars shows and 'Deep Lore']–whatever deeply complex ideas we try to come up with, the shows themselves basically never match anything near that level of detail, depth, or complexity." is exemplified by the excitement over the Zeffo references in Ahsoka. Basically, hieroglyphs in episode 7 of Ahsoka that translate to "praise Kujet", who was a sage from the Zeffo people who are an ancient, mysteriously vanished people from the video game Jedi: Fallen Order and Kujet specifically has ties to having a great amount of power on Dathomir in some form. It's very tempting to want to take this and think that Filoni is going to build something major out of these connections and I'm saying, we have got to have learned our lesson by this point. Filoni does not care about the supplementary material, nothing in this series or his episode of The Mandalorian or The Book of Boba Fett or even particularly any of his TCW/Rebels work have born this kind of connectivity out. He likes to include things, like there's an almost-nod to Revan in TCW, but it's not meant to go anywhere, it's just cool. The recent Obi-Wan Kenobi series included a planet named Jabiim, which was a significant planet with an important story in the Legends Clone Wars era, but within the show, that connection does not affect anything, it's just the name of a planet, a cool nod. Hell, I wouldn't even necessarily put money that Filoni himself chose the nod to Kujo/the Zeffo/JFO, it could have been a set designer who was frantically looking up anything to do with Dathomir on Wikipedia and thought it would be a cool easter egg to put in there. Or maybe it was Filoni, it's not impossible that this is a deliberate signpost to where this is going! But I think looking at the established patterns of these shows and how little these easter eggs have ever born real fruit and temper our expectations. Go wild with the speculation, that's great! But Star Wars is not laying out a roadmap where you can find the clues and guess the ending by the easter eggs, they're fun little discoveries, but I don't believe for a single solitary second that Felony is counting on us to pick up on the clues to put together a strong case for worldbuilding. And I'm not saying this to be a pill about it, either! I just think we'll build more satisfying theories if we understand that the source material itself isn't always going to build up the way we wish it would, that instead we'll have more fun if we treat these as extra bonuses, rather than the real foundation of what the "lore" of Star Wars is!

#star wars #ahsoka series #dathomir #zeffo #dave filoni #meta

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candycorncrave · 11 months ago

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So. Let's talk about Penacony and birds.

-Spoilers for the 2.1 quest (and possibly some of 2.2 if my theories and findings are correct)

Hey all! I'm not too good at starting these essay type things, so we're just gonna dive right in. Disclaimer, these are all just theories complied from random (not very in depth) research I did, and my own thoughts, so take it all with a grain of salt. I just wanted to put this out here for funsies!

With that out of the way, let's dive in!

From very early on into the Penacony quests, there was something that just kept nagging at me. Robin's name, (mixed with the fact that shes a singer.) The family's crest being a Nightingale. Aventurine's design very clearly representing a peacock. Ratio's owls.

There were just too many bird references for this all to be a coincidence, so I decided to do some research on bird symbolism and meaning.

And here are some very interesting things I found!

Now a lot of this is quite clear cut, so I won't go into alot of explanation, but I do find the "rebirth" part quite interesting, especially since it is hinted during the 2.1 quest that she came back from "death".

Let's start with Robin, since she's one of the more obvious ones: "Above all, the robin red-breast is a symbol of spring song and good fortune. Additionally, it also symbolises passion, a new beginning, and re-birth. Therefore, if the bird flies into your life you will be blessed with happiness and joy. Subsequently, most of the symbolism of robins is centred on their spiritual meaning which is believed to be a symbol of divine sacrifice." In native American culture, Robins also have strong ties with family and "heart centered connections."

Next up are Owls: Now this one is also pretty obvious. Dr Ratio's design has very heavy Greek inspiration, and owls in Greek mythology are very clearly tied with Athena, knowledge, and wisdom.

The thing I found interesting about this was all over Sunday's mansion, there are owls decorating a lot of the furniture. Could this have been foreshadowing for his "betrayal" and assisting Sunday? I'm not sure. In my opinion, that seems like quite a length to go to mislead players- especially since it's such a niche detail that most people probably won't think twice about. Maybe it will have more meaning in 2.2. Guess we'll wait and see!

3rd, Another obvious one, Black Swan: They symbolize the opposite of what the white swan does, naturally, so death, danger, destruction, suffering, chaos, mystery, etc.

Even more than that though, "The black swan theory of events is a metaphor that describes an event that comes as a surprise, has a major effect, and is often inappropriately rationalized after the fact with the benefit of hindsight."

Another one I don't feel the need to dig that deep into. It all pretty much checks out with what we've seen of her character and the events of the story so far. Black Swan is a scary lady....

4th, Let's talk about Peacocks: Now we all know peacocks are commonly associated with general wealth, pride, and flamboyance. I thought that was all there really was to it being such a big contributor to Aventurine's design. But I decided to dig a little deeper and. Oh boy.

Peacocks can also symbolize both death, and life. Now at face value this is quite contrasting, but when you apply it to Adventurine's character- it makes quite a lot of sense. A single coin flip between life and death that keeps landing face up, and yet, it's a gamble he never hesitates to make. Moreso, peacocks can symbolize the freedom and liberation of the soul. (OUCH)

And Let's finish off the doozy. Nightingales: The symbol of the family and the bird constantly following Sunday around and watching everything the entire quest without a sound.

"Nightingales are symbolic of beauty, melody, creativity, purity, and the expression of oneself freely. They are also symbolic of darkness, mysticism, spiritual awakening, and renewal."

Now I found that the latter is often meant when you see a nightingale in your dreams. It is also mentioned if they do not speak back to you in a dream you will soon be betrayed.

,,,, How intriguing.

Also intriguing, Bloodhounds are very well known to be hunting dogs, and birds are prey for dogs.

And speaking of prey,,, are fish not considered birds' prey? And Sparkle, who we see fish around every time she shows up, was the "victim" in Black Swan's quest.

Anyways. I could be grasping at straws with that last part, but I do feel there is alot of stuff going on here with animal symbolism, especially more to dig into with Gallagher and Sparkle. It's all very intriguing

If you read all this here's a cookie! 🍪 Thanks for your time :) I hope you enjoyed the ramblings of a madman. Please feel free to add anything or comment your thoughts! I'd love to discuss

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cccat-in-a-meat-sack · 1 year ago

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Masterlist of information and resources for dissociative disorders, including dissociative amnesia, depersonalization-derealization disorder, and dissociative identity disorder (+ subtypes)

**THESE RESOURCES AND INFORMATION ARE NOT TO BE USED TO SELF-DX YOURSELF. THESE ARE MEANT TO BE A STARTING POINT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE DISORDERS. IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MIGHT HAVE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING, DO MORE RESEARCH ON YOUR OWN. AND IF YOU CAN, SEE AND TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL. FURTHERMORE, I CAN BE WRONG! THESE ARTICLES CAN BE WRONG! YOU CAN SEND US ARTICLES/PAPERS ON ANYTHING HERE TO CORRECT US, AS LONG AS IT IS NOT A CARRD OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. THIS IS A STARTING POINT, A LAUNCHPAD IF YOU WILL, NOT THE FINISH LINE. **

I would also like to remind you that all systems are different. Systemhood is a spectrum, and you will see this in multiple articles on this masterlist.

Many of these articles come from did-research.org. If anyone has any other articles or papers for any of the following topics, please either dm me or send an ask. Do not reblog/comment with the article/paper.

**Some links may contain mentions of cult abuse and/or ritual abuse. This will be mostly in the polyfragmented area of this masterlist.

An overview of dissociative disorders

Resources for dissociative disorders

Expert questions and answers (the switching one in this is not very accurate, I touched on it more in the DID portion of this masterlist)

What causes dissociation (focuses more on DID but still important. please note that it's very long and wordy.)

6 DID myths (another long and wordy one. touches on the following: the belief that DID is a “fad”, the belief that DID is primarily diagnosed in North America by DID experts who overdiagnose the disorder, the belief that DID is rare, the belief that DID is an iatrogenic disorder rather than a trauma-based disorder, the belief that DID is the same entity as borderline personality disorder, and the belief that DID treatment is harmful to patients. Iatrogenic, in this instance, means "induced in a patient by the treatment or comments of a physician" according to the National Institutes of Health)

7 DID myths (easier to read, and covers different topics. Confirms there is not a limit to how many alters a system can have.)

Even more DID myths (NOTE. This article will say that different alters can have their own mental health issues. Please refer to "Can alters have different disorders than the body?" in the Dissociative Identity Disorder section of this post.)

You can find the start of the DSM-5 information on dissociative disorders here, page 336

A quick overview of Dissociative Disorders (this one has OSDD and subtypes)

DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA:

What it is + cases/examples

More information, explanations of treatment, and other important Q&A's

Other information (basically a summary of the above two, but might be a little easier to read)

Amnesia in Dissociative Amnesia

More types of Amnesia in Dissociative Amnesia

DEPERSONALIZATION-DEREALIZATION DISORDER:

Causes, Symptoms, and more

Living with the disorder, treatment, diagnosis, and more (the overview/symptoms and causes isn't entirely accurate, but still provides a baseline)

A more compact version of the above two (but less in-depth)

An easier to read version of the above two (least in depth but covers the basics)

The most in depth (but also hardest to read and contains a lot of long words and sentences without a lot of breaks. tiny font too)

DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER:

Overview of DID

What causes DID? (scroll down to "Risk Factors")

What causes DID? (part 2)

The Theory of Structural Dissociation (the very long and complicated version)

The Theory of Structural Dissociation

Problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation

What are alters?

Different types of alters (This one goes into detail not only about what alters are, but different types of them and how they help the body/mind. There is some misinformation sprinkled within, so don't take anything as a total fact until you do further research.)

Different types of alters (this one is easier to read and created by a system who is/was in therapy. I am uncertain if the system is diagnosed, but the basic alters and basic functions match up with many diagnosed DID systems.)

Notes on non-human alters (and why you can have entire systems of just non-human alters)

Fictives (this was literally the only article i could find. please send me more.)

A paper that talks about DID and fictives (this one was sent to me and I was unable to read it due to personal reasons)

Is there a limit to how many alters a system can have? (A woman who was diagnosed with DID was reported to have 2,500 alters)

Is there a limit to how many alters a system can have? (A center in Utah who specializes in DID confirms as many as 4,500 alters have been reported)

Is there a limit to how many alters a system can have? (Researchers are still unsure, but up to 4,500 have been reported. Scroll down to "multiple personalities")

Fragments (the most basic definition)

Fragments (scroll down to F)

Fragments

OSDD and UDD

An overview of the types of OSDD

OSDD Type 1 (You can find OSDD-1B and OSDD-1A in there)

OSDD Type 2 and OSDD Type 3 (there was barely any information on these two outside of wikipedia and other not-really-professional blogs that i had access to, but I tried my best)

OSDD Type 2 and OSDD Type 3

OSDD Type 4 (this will take you to a page called "Trance Disorder". That is what it's called in the ICD-11) (Possession Trance Disorder is also similar, you can find that here)

P-DID/Partial DID

Splitting, is it always trauma based? (the short answer, no. Direct quote: Many individuals cannot split unless a split is strictly necessary for their protection, functioning, or ability to remain hidden as a system. That said, there are exceptions. Some individuals may become so used to using splitting as a coping mechanism that they may split easily in response to seemingly minor stressors. For example, if an individual finds going to the doctor triggering, an alter may split that exists only to attend medical appointments. In some cases, systems may be so destabilized that even trauma processing leads to the creation of new parts.)

Polyfragmented DID: the very very basics

Polyfragmented DID: notes from a diagnosed polyfragmented DID system

Polyfragmented DID (you can find it on the side bar)

More notes on polyfragmented DID from a system, unable to tell if the system is diagnosed or in therapy

Comorbid disorders

Can alters have different disorders than the body? (I couldn't find a link, but short answer, yes and no. Neurodevelopmental disorders are things that are shared by all headmates, since it's all the same brain. So things like autism, ADHD, conduct disorders, those all are implemented into the brain and therefore all alters will have them. For stuff like eating disorders however, one alter may struggle with an eating disorder while others might not. Different alters can also present different symptoms/severity of a disorder.)

This is a post about a system(?) talking about fusion and their experiences

Integration and Fusion (or in simpler terms, integration is the act of breaking down amnesia barriers and building communication. Fusion is the act of fully integrating two parts into one.)

Dormancy (I could not find a good/reliable link, but it's basically when an alter "goes to sleep" for a period of time. This period of time can be long or short, and can happen for a multitude of reasons.)

Final Fusion and Functional Multiplicity

Time loss, Co Fronting, and Co Consciousness

Switching (covers passive influence too)

Passive Influence defined

Basics types of amnesia, not necessarily system related

More types of amnesia

The three most common types of amnesia from the system community, not necessarily scientific

-Emotional amnesia: where you don’t remember any emotions that you were feeling during the memory.

-Greyouts: when you remember what happened but have no memories of it, as if someone told you about the event and you might be able to recall certain details, but you weren’t there.

-Blackouts: when you don’t remember anything about what happened, and you often don’t remember that you missed something.

Innerworlds

Subsystems

Apparently Normal Parts and Emotional Parts

Primary Structural Dissociation

Secondary Structural Dissociation

Tertiary Structural Dissociation

You can find more resources here

A helpline that can help you understand and manage PTSD, dissociative disorders, and trauma can be found at (410) 825-8888 according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness

Crisis Text Line is a Text and Online Chat service provides 24/7 free support to those struggling with various mental health issues, including DID. Online chat: crisistextline.org Text: 741741

NAMI offers a volunteer helpline staffed by knowledgeable professionals who can answer your questions and connect you with valuable resources within your area. Call: (800) 950-6264 Text: Text "Helpline" to 62640

Basically every hotline you could need

Once again, these resources and information are not to be used to self-dx yourself. That means do not read this information and immediately say "oh yea i have this disorder". This is meant to be a starting point to learn more about dissociative disorders. If you feel like you might have any, do more research on your own. And, if you can, see and talk to a professional about it. These articles can be wrong. I can be wrong. We accept articles/papers/studies on anything here to correct us. Our only request is that it is not a carrd or something along those lines. This information is a starting point, and is not final.

Another good post about the basics of DID (not dissociative disorders in general, just DID and subtypes) can be found here

54 notes · View notes

weightedblankettt · 2 years ago

Text

An Analysis on the Literature Girl Insane MV!

Hey! You might not know me that much, as I’m not active in the DRDTheory community, as I’ve dubbed it, but my name is Blanket! Technically, this is a work of collaboration between the majority of DRDT Twitter, but it’s mainly just an analysis of stuff I couldn’t do by myself.

Okay, and now, onto the video!

So we start off with the spoiler warning. Pretty standard stuff, of course.

Many of my theories beginning here will be based on the colors and what I, personally, associate them with. Of course, the actual MV’s contents will be looked at further down the line.

As a bonus, take note of what pops up right after that. It’s a question: Do you want to forgive... someone? We’ll answer this question later on in the theories section.

These are mainly just lyrics, but the “final verdict” part catches my eye, as I believe it isn’t in the lyrics further down the line. Perhaps it’s about the current trial? As many people believe, David did not kill Arei. His reasons for lying about doing so are unknown, but we can assume that the singer is calling the listeners idiots, because of their incorrect final verdict. Whatever David wants to do, it’s certainly not leading them to the right one.

Next, these lyrics. While I believe it’s fairly obvious that the pink is meant to represent the typical Danganronpa-esque color of their blood, the color that the word “game” is in is probably relates to David. After all, his hair clips and star eyes, both prominent features of his “facade”, are in the same color.

Here is where the most prominent part of the MV is, to me. The text that flashes across the screen during transition points. The first one, in white text, is an excerpt from Osamu Dazai’s “The Flowers of Buffoonery.” The book, while I’ll spare you the greater details, greatly describes themes of suicide. The story’s main protagonist, Yozo Oba, can be described as so: “-But the narrator, a self-conscious writer, makes frequent first-person asides, breaking the fourth wall as he comments on the quality or believability of the novel he is writing.”

Something especially telling is this line, from an analysis of Yozo’s character. “Yozo is a person characterized by shame. Although I pretend to be someone who is confident and unabashedly themselves, that is not really true. I have always been ashamed of who I really am. I created a whole persona to interact with others because I believed my true self would never be enough.”

David’s character is someone very similar to that. Someone who has created a false persona to interact with others. Yozo is someone who feels resentful of other people, simply because he is forced to make them happy. “Yozo Oba is the tortured author and unreliable narrator of the three notebooks that comprise the bulk of No Longer Human. [That is the sequel to The Flowers of Buffoonery.] His appearance is depicted in three photographs examined by an unnamed narrator in the Prologue. These three photographs correspond to his appearance in each of the three notebooks. As a child, Yozo is precocious by design—an impish child who uses his antics to hide his fear, shame, and inability to relate to humanity. These fundamental flaws carry over into young adulthood; in the second notebook, he is a handsome young man whose smiling photograph lacks humanity, betraying the depth of terror and isolation that his comical persona seeks to hide. In the third photograph and notebook, he is only 27, but his gray hair and forgettable appearance prevent him from being labeled an ordinary human being.”

The quotes in yellow are from Agatha Christie’s “Murder on the Orient Express.” The full quote reads as follows. "If you confront anyone who has lied with the truth, they usually admit it – often out of sheer surprise. It is only necessary to guess right to produce your effect." I think the relevancy of this line in terms of David can be explained with his actions so far. Fun fact: Similarly to Danganronpa, “Murder on the Orient Express” is a murder mystery.

This is just a rickroll. DRDTDev thinks that they are FUNNY!? (They are.)

The “an archaic personal pronoun rarely used in real life, but popularized in fiction by the book” is most likely referring to thou/thy/etc. I’m not sure what this correlates to, but it’s probably important. I couldn’t find the green text, but from what I can tell, the green text probably relates to David’s nihilistic point of view towards humanity. Update: Bleuflower on Tumblr has located the source to be I Am A Cat by Natsume Soseki, so go check her out for that! If I had to say anything about that, it’d probably be relating to MonoTV, however, there’s also a continuation of David’s nihilism towards humanity that was also found in the Osamu Dazai references. The book itself is described as a “mordantly comic evocation of Sōseki's deep pessimism about his own humanity and indeed about humankind in general.”

The white text here is an excerpt from Osamu Dazai’s “No Longer Human,” which follows the same protagonist as “The Flowers of Buffoonery.” I’m sure you can all gather what that means in relation to David, but the main point is that he seems detached from his view of “normalcy.” @shidoutism on Twitter had this to say, as they’ve read the book itself: “OKOK so basically this first excerpt is from 'no longer human' by osamu dazai (its his last finished work because dazai sadly took his own life after publication of the book) now from the limited knowledge i have of david the meaning and message of the book might help in whatever analysis ur doing?? no longer human is about a man who never felt like he understood humans. like the title suggests, he never felt like a person. its revealed the protag was pretty sheltered and rich in childhood but experienced trauma from the familys housekeepers, but he never reported it. thats basically the start of it all as the protag grows up, he finds fear in communicating with humans. so he ends up either isolating himself and/or destroying all of his relationships with people. he's scared of people seeing the real him, so ever since he was a child he started putting up a happy, cheerful front. but it just creeped some ppl out bc it didn't feel genuine, it was more like a clown wanting to so badly entertain others. the protag starts resorting to bad coping mechanisms such as dr/gs and alc/hol and has many relationships with women to drown his sorrows and feel closer to being 'a human'. aaand the end of the book is kinda unsettling as the protag is sent to a rehab center and then when released, isolated himself somewhere far away without people, stating "everything passes. thats the one thing i learned in this living hell [somewhere along those lines]" and the book ends numbly like it feels like nothing”

I don’t know about you, but this sounds rather similar to our “protagonist.”

This quote is from “The Setting Sun”, by, you guessed it, Osamu Dazai. It tells a similar story, albeit with a different protagonist, but I feel like this ties in more with his facade, and how his inspirational speaking comes off to other people. Considering he is in his facade at this time of the MV, it’s safe to say that that’s what this is referring to.

And now, this all falls into place. These are the names of the Osamu Dazai books referenced in the text beforehand. The (I’m), next to No Longer Human, however, could signify how David views himself. Someone so sunken into depravity that they don’t register themselves as human anymore.

The faded text here is the first sentence of Yasunari Kawabata’s “Snow Country”. I don’t know what this refers to in terms of David, but this also seems important.

David still views himself as manipulative. Even if he does love people, even if he does have a semblance of care for those in his life, he views himself as an evil, irredeemable sack of shit, incapable of any emotion other than selfishness and cruelty.

This part is especially intriguing to me. David still wants to live, as anyone else does, but he can’t bring himself to find a reason to leave. His career is dead. He’s worthless, and nobody needs him around. Where would he go? There’s no room for him anywhere, even if he escaped, he’d just be shunned for good now that his entire life has been thrown away.

The excerpt from “And Then There Were None” by Agatha Christie, describes someone losing motivation to leave the island. The island is a metaphor for the building, that the students are trapped inside, and David has lost the will to leave in the first place. He doesn’t want to leave, because there’s nowhere else for him to even go. He doesn’t have a home. He doesn’t have a fanbase. There’s nothing left.

The text here reads: “If you’re Hythlodaeus, then I must be Morus.” This refers to the work “Utopia”, written by Thomas More. The book follows Raphael Hythlodaeus, a man who claims to be from Utopia, a perfect place for everyone. His surname quite literally means “Bringer of Nonsense,” or something along those lines. While this may be a stretch, I believe that “Hythlodaeus” is referring to Pre-Reveal David, and “Morus” could possibly be either Post-Reveal David or someone affected by his speeches, for example Xander.

Also, I find it interesting how the girl in this frame, most likely David’s “sister,” Diana, and David himself are both tilting their heads at similar angles. It’s possible that their relation is hinted at through this, but I’m not sure.

The excerpt right here is from Kajii Motojiro’s entry in the Kyoto Journal, entitled “Lemon”. While some of the text has been altered, the main story is about a man who finds himself suffering, and walks through his neighbourhood only to find a greengrocer selling lemons. He goes home, and finds himself happier than before. I’m not sure what this means when it comes to David, however if you’d like, you can analyze for yourself and let me know.

https://www.kyotojournal.org/fiction-poetry/lemon/

This part doesn’t have any external references, but I believe that the lyrics here reinforce David’s worldview, that no matter what you do and how hard you try, “nobody ever changes.”

The star imagery here is a direct reference to David. Stars are representative of his happy facade, and when he loses the stars, he quits the bullshit.

…And this frame. Alright, let’s start from the top. The electrocution definition is a callback to Xander, who’s referenced quite a few times in the video. The yellow text, which is from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s “The Little Prince”, is possibly a reference to David’s view on other people or himself- That nobody is special unless you were born special. However, the end of the text describes that if the boy were to tame the fox, the speaker, that they would need each other. I’m not sure if this is a description of manipulation, or a codependent relationship, but the David parallels are there. That, and the title of a “little prince” probably refers to David and how he’s idolized by many. The green text is, again, from “The Flowers of Buffoonery.” The full text is as follows. “A man crushed by reality puts on a show of endurance. If that's beyond your comprehension, dear reader, then you and I will never understand each other. Life's a farce, so we might as well make it a good one. But real life is a realm that I may never reach. The best that I can hope for is to loiter in the memory of these four days, so steeped with empathy. Four days that count more than

five or ten years of my life. Four days that count more than a lifetime.”

In reference to David, this is more representative of his true feelings. Not the asshole persona or the facade, but the genuine feelings he has. He already feels far too gone by his own standards, and constantly puts on a “show” for other people in the form of his speeches.

The red text is possibly a person dealing with depression speaking on one of their symptoms. There’s no way I could find a source for such a short quote. A common symptom of depression is losing interest in things you previously found enjoyable.

The white text on the side describes someone who finds pleasure in solitude as opposed to being bossed around by other people. It’s a reference to David’s backstory, as someone who was pressured into putting on a performance for others, finding comfort in being alone rather than having to play pretend whenever around other people.

The white text at the bottom is a continuation of the white text at the top.

The only theory I can think of for this is that it’s a foreshadowing to either gaps in their memory or the amount of survivors left in the killing game being four. Not sure.

Update: I don’t know how I missed this, but the “11” next to the suspicious gaps refers to this. It’s possible that the suspicious gaps are gaps in their memory now, being as he doesn’t remember having an older sister, but her existence is most likely confirmed, as we saw her.

This part here is referring to “Catch 22,” when the main character realizes that without a soul, humans are just… matter, if you will. Empty husks.

For this part, I had to call upon my not-so-trustworthy old friend, Google Translate! The translation of this from Latin is “I think, therefore I am (not.)” That’s what makes the most sense to me. We’ll refer back to this part later, for I have a different intention for it in my mind than David himself.

The dark blue text is another excerpt from “The Little Prince.” The prince in question is talking to a castaway, and the main takeaway of his words is that only your heart can tell you what you really need. If you were to simply look with your eyes, then what you truly need would be drowned out by the blinding light of superficial desires. I’m pretty sure that’s what that means. David is looking through his eyes, seeing a cruel world where nobody changes unless they were born to.

Now, let’s get into the next big part of the MV: The crossword puzzle. You might be wondering how this relates to David, but its moreso his own commentary on his classmates. Let’s go back to the latin. Pay attention to this reference of the solved crossword by raspbeyes on Tumblr. It will be very important for you to follow along.

Notice how there’s roman numerals in some of David’s lyrics? For example, this that we established earlier meant “I think therefore I am (not.)” This is referring to Rose. Her photographic memory can be linked to the description of “thinking.” The context of this may become clearer in future parts of the story.

III. That’s Charles. “If you doubt brittle things are broken.” Is, in my mind, referring to his memories. He has a recurring element of not remembering things, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of this until Chapter 2. For example, his secret- “Your older brother died, but you don’t remember him at all.”

IV. Arei. Her breakdown sequence should be all you need to associate this with her.

V. This is Ace. He’s going insane, obviously, because of the paranoia and failed murder attempt against him. That, and he’s become more disheveled as the game progressed.

XIV. Veronika, correct? Substance to the arts relates to her talent as a Horror Fanatic. Naturally, she’d be related to things like that.

XV. Whit’s refusal to accept his mother’s death, staying ignorant to the tragedies around him, is one of the “happiest” members of the cast.

XI. Mai Akasaki is not mentioned in the current story, and all of her quotes hidden amongst the cast members describe her in past tense. She was someone everyone viewed as reliable, trustworthy, and perhaps, if you exaggerated it, as God.

These two walls of text are both from the same source: Hamlet’s Solliloquy of “To Be, or Not to Be?”

This is what the thing actually means, in case you aren’t aware, which even I wasn’t until just now. It represents David’s suicidal ideology, from what we can assume with the way he’s trying to get everyone to vote wrong in the trial for Arei, quite well. Whether he wants to live, or die, is most likely a constant struggle for David to answer.

Which is why he leaves it up to… whoever can answer.

This is an absolute reference to the trial. The class trial rules are overlaid over the death portrait texture, which is “conveniently” covering David’s face. The seventeen here is also telling, considering what the description has to say about it!

This is what I believe is David’s end goal. To get everyone executed as a result of his own hopelessness. By pretending to be the killer and antagonizing the class, he believes he can easily sway the votes by “manipulating the public” as he always believes he’s done. By getting everyone to vote for him, he can end the killing game and his own “pathetic life” in one fell swoop.

After all, it’s not like he believes they have a chance of winning and escaping in the first place.

And here, is where we left off in Episode 11. David completely drops his facade in order to effectively kill himself, along with everyone else. After realizing the hopelessness of his situation, he makes a drastic turn to accept it readily. Someone who self-sabotages continues to do so because they develop a warped perspective of having control.

And again referring to the description, the 12 near the “Tallying Votes” caption refers to this. It’s David’s way of justifying his selfishness, with a diluted form of justice serving as an “ultimately fair verdict to the trial.”

However, David has always wanted to be loved. It’s why he even bothers with his facade, because he’s been putting it up for so long that disregarding his persona would effectively ruin everything he’s worked so hard to maintain in the first place. The repeated imagery of applause could also be a callback to his status as a celebrity, especially with how he reacted to Xander and Arei’s reliance on him.

While this does have a small fade of text pointing out that the “degraded copy” is the cover, which is not true because the MV is amazing, but. I believe this–

Oh. That’s literally it. Well, that makes one mystery solved!

Hey, look, we’re already halfway through! nice! Eden’s optimistic personality can be referenced here. She wants to live with everyone, together, and make sure that nobody gets hurt.

This is another reference to David’s rambling on about how attempting to change is utterly futile, and that nobody changes.

The yellow text is the definition of a television show, I believe. The blue text is an excerpt from “And Then There Were None,” by Agatha Christie. The full quote is this: “Breakfast was a curious meal. Everyone was very polite…. Six people, all outwardly self-possessed and normal. And within? Thoughts that ran round in a circle like squirrels in a cage…. ‘What next? What next? Who? Which?’...” …Do you get it? It’s a parallel to the killing game. Or, rather, how David views it. Everyone is terrified and scared for their lives, but they still greet eachother with mock kindness.

The blue text on the side is an excerpt from Shakespeare’s “Macbeth.”, and it goes like this: “I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that, should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er.” A critical analysis of the original work reads as follows: Shakespeare is saying here that Macbeth has involved himself in so many murders that it is as easy for him to carry on than to turn back. Macbeth compares his course of action with wading across a river of blood, creating a vivid image of his bloody reign. The word 'tedious' reveals the hardening of Macbeth's heart.

And now, the moment I’m sure most of you have been waiting for. Xander. Something I took notice of was that the cracks line up directly with his left eye, while his right eye is the one that’s actually missing in the game. Nonetheless, Xander clearly did mean something to David. Whether it be through his idolization of David, or if he inspired David in some way, his death had an impact on him. Manipulative persona or not.

XVI translates to Hu from the crossword puzzle. He’s taunting her, similarly to how he did in the trial, although the ??? makes me wonder if it actually IS David…

XII, that’s Eden. I assume it’s because of her optimistic persona that she is standing in someone’s way, although we’re not sure who.

For the next part, let’s say we take this at face value. It could definitely be referencing David allegedly pushing Arei to commit suicide, although this could also be something he internalizes, with the themes of suicide and wishing to be dead explored previously.

These are all repeats of the previous works included in the MV, like The Little Prince, Ozamu Dazai’s series, Agatha Christie’s works, etc etc.

Now, this is code, I’m assuming, but I tried translating it and couldn’t find anything. It’s a common encryption language. In case you want to translate it, it’s: 3aqxw97pktc8uki458fbdpfoacllex2f07bf8mg24b4mpfx2adc6v3f5yhxjd8i7sf11312zaj5lazet47jod5jczec5mvb6bz2o59r143sf2pe916sczcn7emvbl55ehe9iqb2708tt83482c8tw3c77gn47ojca634gbcfz0016s647wwlakcn46brcle0eam9

NOTE: @glorywelpchild on Twitter says… “For this, it may have been encrypted multiple times by different engines? I'm not a programmer so I'm not really familiar lmao. Another thing, it could be a type of programming the dev knows/commonly uses.”

The VI here is Arturo, but I don’t know what this means. Perhaps the description can give us some insight?

Hmm… Well, I don’t mind. Whatever you say.

Nico’s number is VIII, and this is referring to the defense they put up when asked about their intentions against Ace’s life. They claim they never thought about it, and “even if they try to think, they don’t know.”

This is Levi’s, as per the IX.

I actually managed to find the original image in the background. It’s a study on Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9’s orbit around Jupiter for several years before crashing into the planet. While the name, Shoemaker Levy, may be a play on Levi’s name, I believe this is also referencing that he may die soon. Maybe this is a stretch, but the symbolism of a comet named “Shoemaker Levy” crashing into Jupiter being right under a symbol that represents Levi, our prime suspect in a game where being caught results in death, is too far to be a coincidence. Part of my theory for Chapter 2 is that Levi is the blackened, after all, but that is in a previous post. Nonetheless, we can move on.

This is “Enterance of the Gladiators.” While it is now associated with silly things like clowns, it was originally a military march song. Hmm, where have I heard this description before?

Ah, that’s right! In the description!

These two are relatively straightforward. The David we meet in the prologue is his facade, and it serves as an introduction. However, we are re-introduced to him with a whole personality change, and that comes delayed from all the others.

This is a direct reference to MonoTV and the throne in the trial room.

The truth bullets. Typical Danganronpa symbolism, and it’s also a neat little reference to Xander’s custom weapon.

References to some of the students. The dresser is Levi, the bowl of fruit is Rose, the gun is Xander, the teapot is Hu, and the candle is maybe J?

The clock is Eden, the portrait, maybe a reference to the game? The stupid kid’s toy might be Whit.

Teruko and Mai. Teruko’s misfortune and Mai’s idealization are both key parts of their characters.

The gavel, another reference. The kitchen knife, Min. The skull, Veronika. The mirror… Possibly Xander because we’ve seen him with broken glass earlier in the MV, but it might be David and his personas making another reference.

The mastermind, sitting atop their comfortable chair.

The noose is Arei, the gas mask is Charles, the mouse is Nico, the theater mask… Perhaps the mastermind again, or Veronika again. The safe is David’s locked away and suppressed emotions. These are all mainly theories based on observation, don’t take it as the wholehearted truth.

David being mentioned again with the hair clips. The lemon has been brought up beforehand, it’s a callback to the journal entry. The dummies represent David’s detachment from his humanity, and the television is a callback to the fact that they’re on a television show.

David views himself as a snake, a liar, a murderer. Snakes are common imagery to use when referring to the Devil as well. The blood is a callback to the killing game itself.

Either a reference to Min, or the fact that all the books are empty could be visual dramatization of David’s feelings. There’s supposed to be something in them, but the books are empty. The “various kinds” could also be how many personas he puts on, if that’s a prominent part of his backstory.

The killing game is being broadcasted, so that counts as terrorist iconography, if nothing else. Dandelions, while beautiful in their own way, don’t belong in a garden. The megaphone is David’s custom weapon, and it’s a way for him to broadcast his speeches to those around the world.

The letters are from the joke comic that the dev released. You know the one, where Xander writes a letter for David and he accidentally throws it away thinking that it’s garbage. The popular toy refers to the commercializing of the Tragedy, as Veronika explained on the first day of Chapter 2. How horror movies will put black-and-white designs in their films to up the fear factor because of the subliminal/primal fear of the design back in the days of the Tragedy. The flowers… No idea.

This is cleverly disguised, but it’s a reference to the debate between continuing to live and killing yourself. To be or not to be, to stop or to keep going, but they’re both lit up. How are you to do both at the same time? You have to make a choice.

Main Roles are David and Xander. It makes sense, considering they both have full-body moments and we know who they are. The crossed out name is Mai Akasaki, but the cut off name is a bit harder to decipher. Thanks to some inspiration and help, I’ve come to my final conclusion regarding this.

They are related to Arei, 100%. The letters match perfectly.

Even in comparison to Arei, the “N” in her name starts only a bit earlier, but that’s because the first word is probably only two or three letters, in comparison to the four letters in Arei.

Originally, I couldn’t translate any of these. All I could make out was that the first hand was Xander and the second hand was Min or Mai. However. @MAHIRUMILGRAM on twitter managed to translate them! They are as follows:

After this point, the truth bullet breaks through David’s words, similarly to how Teruko is fighting against David, despite the truth bullet being in agreement towards David’s idea.

There’s also this, which could be David trying to deflect us from the truth, or that the lyrics genuinely don’t relate to him. I’m leaning towards the former.

The white text at the top here is from a story, entitled “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas.” It is about a beautiful city where everyone is happy. However, their city is not as beautiful as it seems. They tell the story of how the townspeople have locked a child in a basement, and left it to suffer. Their happiness, as they’ve been told, requires a sacrifice. “Inside the room, which is behind a locked door, there are a couple of dirty mops, a bucket, and a young child. The child is ten years old, but looks younger. The child is scared and completely miserable. It is never allowed to leave the room. Occasionally, someone opens the door and kicks the child to make it stand up. The person fills the food bowl halfway with corn meal and grease, fills the water jug, and leaves. The child can remember what the outside world looks like and begs and pleads to be let out. The child is naked and covered in sores, and it wails at night in its misery. The people of Omelas all know about the child in the basement. They all understand that everything good about Omelas, from their abundance of food to the good weather, depends upon the suffering of the child. They all understand this because when children are between the ages of eight and twelve, they are brought to see the child, and this tradeoff is explained to them. During this experience, the children of Omelas are disgusted. They want to help, but they are told they can’t. If anyone helps the child by clothing, feeding, or otherwise caring for it, then the perfect happiness of Omelas and its abundance would die. Therefore, no one may even speak kindly to the child.” I wanted to include this because it describes David so well. Someone who has been cast away because they’re deemed useless to society, someone who’s happiness would destroy the happiness of anyone else. I find the story truly fascinating, as it might describe David’s suppressed emotions and the depressive tendencies he indulges himself in.

“Their tears at the bitter injustice dry when they begin to perceive the terrible justice of reality, and to accept it. Yet it is their tears and anger, the trying of their generosity and the acceptance of their helplessness, which are perhaps the true source of the splendor of their lives. Theirs is no vapid, irresponsible happiness. They know that they, like the child, are not free.”

“How you have felt, O men of Athens, at hearing the speeches of my accusers, I cannot tell; but I know that their persuasive words almost made me forget who I was—such was the effect of them; and yet they have hardly spoken a word of truth [alēthēs]. But many as their falsehoods were, there was one of them which quite amazed me—I mean when they told you to be upon your guard, and not to let yourselves be deceived by the force of my eloquence. They ought to have been ashamed of saying this, because they were sure to be detected as soon as I opened my lips and displayed my deficiency; they certainly did appear to be most shameless in saying this, unless by the force of eloquence they mean the force of truth [alēthēs]; for then I do indeed admit that I am eloquent. But in how different a way from theirs! Well, as I was saying, they have hardly uttered a word, or not more than a word, of truth [alēthēs]; but you shall hear from me the whole truth [alēthēs]: not, however, delivered after their manner, in a set oration duly ornamented with words and phrases.”

Do you remember, in the prologue, where Xander describes the “rumors” against David’s positive front? This is a direct parallel. Here, Socrates denounces the words of his attackers, similarly to how nobody truly believes the rumors except for the critics themselves. Even Xander was fooled by his charisma.

“Was't Hamlet wrong'd Laertes? Never Hamlet: If Hamlet from himself be ta'en away, And when he's not himself does wrong Laertes, 240 Then Hamlet does it not, Hamlet denies it. Who does it, then? His madness: if't be so, Hamlet is of the faction that is wrong'd; His madness is poor Hamlet's enemy.”

Hamlet blames his own insanity for the death of Laertes’ father. Just like David tries to get everyone killed, and blames himself for murdering Arei, because of his own insanity.

This is a line from the poem “Be Not Defeated by The Rain,” by Kenji Miyazawa. It describes a man wishing to become someone strong, someone who cannot be bested. I believe this is exactly what David wants, too. To be as strong and as hopeful as he is forced to pretend to be, instead of a hopeless mess who would rather die than be seen as worthless.

David reaches the height of his insanity, before finally quieting down after being basked in green light. I don’t know if this was intentional, but I believe that it represents how he’s given up on even death after the students manage to vote correctly, hence the green coloring.

And now, number 19.

I severely doubt that David will actually die in Chapter 3. That is not “foreshadowing,” that is just giving out the answer, and DRDTDev is much more careful than that. I believe this is a final representation of David’s suicidal ideologies. He says he will forget, he says guilt will not weigh him down, but he’s lying to himself. That’s why the stars are still behind him, because he’s still lying. He says he is satisfied, he says he’s okay with death, but when has David ever been truthful with us?

And he leaves an empty throne behind. Not because he is dead, but because he has relinquished his career and his reputation for nothing.

Even though he is missing, nothing else has changed. That is how he views his life.

And that concludes the main analysis of David’s MV! It’s such a beautiful thing, really, I don’t know how to phrase any of it properly. Thank you to everyone who’s read this far, and everyone who helped me out. The decoding and puzzles? Ah, I’ll let you all do that… But, maybe I can help a little! Blanket, out~! See you all next time!