#I mean some of you may have already read it
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Okay. A few things here. This is still bad! Buuuuut I would encourage people to read some full articles and get some context on Torres’ work to see exactly HOW these missteps could be justified and why they may have happened.
Portrait of Ross in LA is by farrrr Torres’ most famous candy portrait but it is not the only one! Plenty of them are frequently displayed in a line like the Smithsonian’s installation, is that less effective? Maybe. But it’s not out of line with his work. Nor is the plaques listing of an “ideal weight” or the exhibition’s listed concerns.
Gonzalez-Torres made a lot of work about AIDS and he made it exceptionally well. However, it was not his only artistic concern. This exhibition focuses on his innovations in portraiture and his lateral thinking about the genre. It would be absolutely disingenuous and sinister for the exhibit not to mention AIDS, but if I’m going to be a little honest I don’t have a problem with an exhibition placing its focus elsewhere. He was a brilliant artist and deserves recognition for all of his ideas, not just those related to his suffering.
The work is displayed and plaqued in a way that’s consistent with his other work and doesn’t go against the works’ certificate (basically it’s artist-stipulated display instructions). So from a curatorial standpoint it IS the same piece.
According to the curators a separate piece of wall text near the piece DOES further contextualize it reading, in part, “Gonzalez-Torres cared for his partner Ross Laycock, named in the candy work’s title, who died from HIV/AIDS in 1991. So there are some mentions of AIDS throughout the exhibit. I still think that this is not enough contextualization, but again, I see how it happened.
The display’s main problem is that its supremely fucking out of touch.
Portrait of Ross in LA means something to people, its more than just a portrait its a symbol, its a memorial, its grown past the artist and become something for an entire community that has frequently been robbed of the ability to openly mourn. I’ve gotten the privilege of seeing it in person a few times and it commands a reverence like nothing else I’ve ever seen. I keep the wrappers from my visit just to remind myself of that experience of twisting brilliant inadequate grief that it evoked in me. I keep the wrappers because it felt morally wrong to throw them away.
You have to treat Portrait of Ross in LA with fucking respect.
The conditions for respect have already been outlined, like several articles point out, we’ve already been here. The Art Institute did basically the same thing a few years ago and it was made clear by public outcry that caring for this piece and its significance means including a proper wall label. Its being respected by museum goers not already familiar with the piece is contingent on that wall label, people are less likely to read the other wall text.
SO. All in all I think that the curatorial decisions made here were pretty standard and I’d need to actually see the exhibit to make a ruling on their potential erasure of AIDS and Gonzalez-Torres’ sexuality within the exhibit as a whole. BUT the display also shows an ignorance of the work’s significance and a disregard for prior discourse/ meaning making surrounding it. It feels a bit like a slap in the face.
Anyways here’s another article with some more comments made by the curators if anyone wants more context:
https://www.artnews.com/art-news/news/felix-gonzalez-torres-national-portrait-gallery-untitled-portrait-of-ross-in-la-controversy-1234731113/
the david zwirner gallery and the felix gonzalez torres foundation in the smithsonian removed the descriptive plaque for portrait of ross in la by felix gonzalez-torres. the old plaque explained portrait for ross' origins as the artist's partner's aids related death, and replaced it with a plaque with absolutely no information about the piece itself, who ross was, or who gonzalez-torres was either. portrait of ross was also reeranged to lay on the floor long ways instead of in a pile as it typically is situated, and the plaque outside the exhibition FOR GONZALEZ-TORRES omits his sexuality, as well as his aids related death. i'm in utter disbelief
#I have. Many thoughts about this piece. Not all of them fully formed.#I want it to be treated well.#Sometimes that means respecting its fluidity and sometimes that means respecting its status as a memorial#both can be done
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Hi Miss Raven! I'm really enjoying reading the things you wrote for the future event and trien sensei event! Wonderful writing as usual ^^
If you don't mind me asking, I actually want to see some yume content to certain twst characters from japanese players but I don't know what tag to use or where to look Do you know where I'm supposed to look? I'm not sure how jp player tag their content.
NOTE: I know shipping can be a sensitive thing, but please, please, please be civil about it. This is meant to be an informative post; if I list particular tags or examples here, they are just meant to be that: TAGS and EXAMPLES. It is not equivalent to me endorsing certain content or ships.
Thank you for the feedback 🎵 I have a lot more requests to write so you’ll be fed for a while please look forward to those~
The Japanese fandom LOVES to tag works so it's easy for other fans to find what they are interested in and to avoid what they dislike. Keep the fandom etiquette in mind and practice it yourself! This means don't use unrelated tags to boost exposure when sharing your own posts; it's seen as disrespectful and rude. It also means you do NOT go out of your way to find content you know you dislike and attack the creator.
I believe the general tag for Twst is # ツイステファンアート or #ツイステ. #twstファンアート or #twstイラスト are used for Twst fan art. Most people I know look for Twst stuff on Pixiv, Twitter, or doujin purchasing sites.
If you're looking for shipping content, there are different tags for that:
# twstプラス is for any Twst character x Prefect
#女監督生 is female Prefect
#男監督生 is male Prefect
#男装監督生 is female Prefect dressed in male clothing or pretending to be male
#twstプラスNL is for Twst character x female Prefect
#twstプラスBL is for Twst character x male Prefect
#twstBL can be used for Twst character x Twst character (no Prefect)
#オリ監 (may also include 創作), #顔あり, and #監督生顔あり refers to the creator's OC or their interpretation of Yuu; Prefect generally has a "face" in these works
#モブ is a generic or “mob” character; typically means Prefect is faceless or can easily be self-inserted or projected onto
#ツイステ夢 or #twst夢 is “yume” or self ship works
If you see a B or Q in the tag, the former means male and the latter means queer or genderfluid
Here are tags that may help you find a particular genre or more specific content:
#夜のツイステ or #夜のツイステプラス refers to general 18+ Twst content
#夜のtwstプラス is for 18+ Twst character x Prefect
#twstマイナス is for yandere Twst character x Prefect
#夜のtwstマイナス is for 18+ yandere Twst character x Prefect
#女化 or #にょた is a scenario in which a character's gender changes to female
#ケモノ is animal features, generally ears and tail (ie kemonomimi); this doesn't refer to beastmen (who already have these traits by default), but generally refers to Prefect or a non-beastman gaining them
#ツイステプラス or #twstプラス is typically “feed good” romantic content
#ツイステマイナス or #twstマイナス is basically angst or content that makes you feed bad
#twstパロ is literally “parody” or an AU; you can add other phrases ahead of it to denote the kind of AU
#卒業後 is "after graduation" and generally means a work setting
受け refers to a submissive or passive personality while 攻め refers to a more aggressive personality; these typically describe the dynamics in a romantic relationship
If you’re looking on Twitter, specific emojis tend to refer to the characters or groups of characters, which I have listed below. I’ve also included the first 2-3 katakana of each character’s first names.
The beginning katakana are combined with one another in order to write ship names. For example, if you want Leona x Prefect, you’d combine the first few katakana for Leona, レオ, and Prefect, 監 or ユウ, to create レオ監 or レオユウ (LeoPrefect or Leona x Prefect). Use a similar formula for your desired character. For example, swap out the レオ (Leo-) part for ジェイ and you get ジェイ監, or JeiPrefect, or Jade x Prefect.
Generally for yumeshipping, it’s the canon character’s name first and then Prefect in the end.
If you’re looking for a BL ship, name order matters. The name that appears first is the “proactive” one in the relationship, while the name that appears second is the “passive” one. For example, カリジャミ (Kalim x Jamil) has Kalim as the lead in the relationship, but ジャミカリ (Jamil x Kalim) has Jamil as the lead in the relationship. YOU DO NOT CROSSTAG; the name order basically makes the ship two entirely separate things and they are treated as such in the JP fandom.
Heartslabyul -> 🃏 ビュル
Riddle Rosehearts -> 🌹 リド
Ace Trappola -> ❤️ エー
Deuce Spade -> ♠️ デュ
Trey Clover -> ♣️ トレ
Cater Diamond -> ♦️ ケイ
Savanaclaw -> 🏜️ サバナ
Leona Kingscholar -> 🦁 レオ
Ruggie Bucchi -> 🐆 / 🍩 ラギ
Jack Howl -> 🐺 ジャク
Octavinelle -> 🐚 オクタ
Azul Ashengrotto -> 🐙 アズ
Jade Leech -> 🐬 ジェイ
Floyd Leech -> 🦈 フロ
Tweels -> イド
Scarabia -> 🕌 / 🧞♂️ スカラ
Kalim Al-Asim -> 🦂 / ☀️ / 🦦 / 🕌 カリ
Jamil Viper -> 🐍 ジャミ
Pomefiore -> 🍏 / 👸 ポメ
Vil Schoenheit -> 👑 ヴィ(ル)
Rook Hunt -> 🏹 ルク
Epel Felmier -> 🍎 エペ
Ignihyde -> ⚙️ / 🔥 イグニ
Idia Shroud -> 💀 イデ
Ortho Shroud -> 🤖 オル
Diasomnia -> 🐉 ディア
Malleus Draconia -> 🐲 マレ
Lilia Vanrouge -> 🦇 リリ
Silver -> ⚔️ / �� シル
Sebek Zigvolt ->⚡ セベ
Ramshackle -> 👻 オンボロ
Prefect -> 🦐 (🌸 or 🚺 = female, 🚹 = male) 監 or ユウ
Manga Prefect (usually refers to Yuuken) -> 🦞 コミ監
Grim -> 🐱 / 🐈⬛ グリ
NRC Staff -> 🎓 NRC(の)職員
Dire Crowley -> 🎭 / 🐦 クロ
Divus Crewel -> ⚗️ / 🐶 クル
Mozus Trein -> 📚 / 📖 モゼ
Ashton Vargas -> 💪 バル
Sam -> ☠️ / 🎩 サム
Lucius -> 🐾 ルチウス
Halloween Characters
Rollo -> 🔔 ロロ
Fellow/Ernesto -> 🦊 フェロ
Gidel -> 🐱 ギデル
Skully -> 🎃 スカ
Family Members and NPCs
Ace’s older brother or Anippola -> 兄ッポラ
Dylla -> ディラ
Chenya -> 😺 チェーニャ
Cheka -> 🧶 チェカ
Falena -> ファレ
Kifaji/Neji -> キファジー
Najma -> 💫 ナジュ
Ambrose the 63rd -> 🧙 ア ン
Neige -> ❄️ ネイジュ
Marja -> マーヤ
Baur -> 🐊 バウル
Dawn Knight 🌅 -> 夜明けの騎士 (this is his full title since we don’t know his actual name), have also seen 夜明パパ and シルバーパパ (“Dawn Papa” and “Silver Papa”)
Maleanor -> マレノア
I hope that helps you out ^^ Happy hunting, English-speaking Twsties!!
#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#feedback for the writing raven#question#notes from the writing raven#advice#Heartslabyul#Savanaclaw#Octavinelle#Scarabia#Pomefiore#Ignihyde#NRC Staff#Grim#Rollo Flamme#Ernesto Foulworth#Fellow Honest#Skully J. Graves#Diasomnia#Gidel#Chenya#Che'nya#Cheka Kingscholar#Falena Kingscholar#Neige LeBlanche#canon x canon
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ᅠ ✿ ᅠ NOT THAT I CARE OR ANYTHING ──── ᅠ ( han taesan )
𝓹recis ⠀ : ⠀your ex, seemingly sweet anton, spreads malicious rumours about you that could potentially ruin your entire academic weapon career, so you have to take desperate measures𑁋and that includes a fake-dating contract and the bane of your existence, han taesan.
ᅠ 한태산 ⠀⠀◜◡◝ ⠀⠀𝒇 reader ⠀wc 13k ⠀ genre college au fluff angst if you squint one sided rivals to lovers academic weapon x campus crush ⠀ contains mentions of food vulgar words skinship pet names several ocs ⠀ note i’m sorry if this fic is.. all over the place a bit coz,, yea!! but this fic is highly.. self-indulgent.. heheh! and i originally wanted to make this more angsty but i’m already sad and single so, No! anyways, enjoy reading ^_^ ⠀ tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net
ᅠ >︿ please leave feedbacks & reblog
“ALRIGHT. Let’s do it.”
As you gaze into Taesan’s determined eyes, the entire series of events flashes through your mind.
It was back in your first year of university—early winter, the day of the first snowfall. You were walking towards the three-floor library, the cold wind stinging your eyes. You rushed inside, grateful for the gush of artificial warm air that greeted you as soon as the doors closed behind you. The library was quite packed for some reason, and you could barely spot any empty seats.
You walked towards the edge of the library, a corner with the largest window of the level. There it was—one of the only empty seats in the entire library—but that seat was next to a boy, heavily occupied with his studies. Your pace slowed down as you hesitated. The boy had a focused blank look on his face, his headphones on, and several papers and notebooks were scattered on the table around him.
You felt like you wanted to just leave and go back to your room, but remembering how cold it was outside, you decided against it.
After taking a deep breath, you approached him. With a shaky smile, you tapped the boy’s shoulder, muttering a silent prayer.
“Excuse me,” you said as he lowered his headphones to his neck. “May I sit here? I-I mean, if it’s cool with you..”
He simply nodded. “Sure.”
You had sat down next to the mysterious boy for the entire day, not knowing that, in the present, he would be the bane of your existence.
In this moment, you’re brought back to the present, startled at how you’re standing in front of him. The mysterious boy that you had sat next to turned out to be Han “Taesan” Dongmin—KOZ School of Law’s campus crush. There’s almost nothing “bad” that you’re heard of him, yet, when you find yourself walking towards him with a fiery determination in your eyes—you immediately know that you’re about to get hit with something you’d never expect.
“A-are you sure?” you say, surprised to even find yourself stuttering. You’ve held yourself to such a high reputation—being your school’s academic weapon—you’ve worked hard to keep yourself true to that name.
Well, to be fair, you didn’t expect Taesan to even say yes to your ridiculous plan—given that all that’s he’s ever done for you is say everything that will get on your nerves.
Taesan gives you a smirk. “Of course,” he says, clearing his throat. “Being the boyfriend of KOZ Academy’s academic weapon isn’t something you get to do everyday.”
The way he presses the emphasis on the word ‘boyfriend’ makes you flinch. It reminds you of your stupid plan; who in their right mind would offer Han Taesan—your rival—a fake dating deal just to make rumours about themselves go away?
“Right,” you roll your eyes. “Anyway, I think we need to enforce some guidelines and boundaries regarding this… set-up.”
Taesan shoves his hands into his pockets, shifting his weight to let himself stand more comfortably. The smirk still on his face, he replies, “alright. Hit me with all of ‘em.”
You whip your phone out, quickly showing him a document that you spent an entire night typing out—complete with every single thing he needed to do for you.
“Here,” you say, frustrated at how Taesan’s smug smirk just never falters.
Taesan runs a hand through his hair before leaning down to read through the document displayed on your phone. He finishes reading it quickly, taking a step closer to you after. He doesn’t say anything for a while, only to startle you by abruptly saying, “I agree.”
“What–?” you blurt out, surprised once again. You thought that Taesan would be more picky than–
“Your terms are easy for me to do. However,” you narrow your eyes at the boy who’s towering in front of you. Of course he’s picky—he’s Taesan. “I’d like you to agree to my conditions as well. If I have to do some things for you, you’d have to do some things for me too.”
You sigh before nodding. How hard could it be? Besides, this whole ‘relationship’ you’re having with Taesan is merely a fake dating set-up.
“Okay.”
Taesan whips out a full-blown smug smirk, making you roll your eyes. He pushes his glasses up his nose bridge, holding out two fingers.
“First, you have to also put in the effort to make things real. Like, wearing my jersey when I have basketball games, and wearing my initials ‘round your neck,” he pushes his middle finger down, the smug grin still plastered on his face, “and secondly, you’ll have to let me kiss you anytime.”
The moment the word ‘kiss’ escapes his mouth, you choke on thin air.
Why is my plan backfiring on me?
“What? No–”
Taesan shrugs. “Basically, physical contact is allowed to be done anytime.”
You feel your face flush, immediately recalling the third condition that you showed Taesan. No physical affection unless needed.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that—it’s clashing with my third term.”
“But your first term: ‘the other party must always do his utmost best to make the relationship seem real’ exists, am I right?” Taesan objects relaxedly. “Then, my second term doesn’t clash with that. And I also do believe that that first term of yours comes before the rest. Am I right?”
You grit your teeth, sucking in a sharp breath. How could you forget? Taesan will always work to have the last word—be that in court or in conversations.
Plus, he’s not entirely wrong.
Though, you’ve never been someone who lets Taesan win willingly.
“Whatever,” you roll your eyes, your heart twisting in detest at the way Taesan’s face lights up with a smirk again.
“Then, we have a deal?” Taesan asks.
You stare into his dark brown eyes once again, registering what you’re about to commit yourself to. All just to get rid of your ex and the rumour he’s pulled you into.
You hold out your hand, Taesan gladly reciprocating.
“Deal.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
IT didn’t hit you that you’re officially Han Taesan’s girlfriend that night. However, the next morning, right after the two of you signed the document at the coffee shop you always study at—it hit you like a million bricks from the sky.
You’re in a “relationship” with the person you loathed the most for the past year. The exact same man who everyone adores, who’s called the it-boy, the campus crush—is now your most “beloved”. Freshman you would rather jump off a cliff than to offer her nemesis a fake-dating pact.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess.
“Here,” Taesan hands you a velvet box—one that obviously contains jewellery of some sort.
Of course. Han Taesan’s always prepared.
You let out a deep sigh, knowing what’s inside. Despite that, you ask, “what’s this?”
Taesan gives you a grin, one that you always see him don during the countable times that he beats you in quizzes. “Open it—I’m sure you’ll like it.”
You run your fingers around the edges of the velvety box, sceptical at Taesan’s sudden soft tone. “Don’t talk to me like that,” you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.
Taesan, instead of immediately throwing a scoff in your face, simply leans back into his seat with a chuckle.
Not waiting for whatever reply he’s preparing to throw to you, you open the box. Your eyes lay upon a beautiful, dainty necklace with a “H.D” pendant, nested elegantly in the box. You bite back a gasp, though you’re unable to hide your surprise. The silver necklace is one of the most beautiful pieces of jewellery you’ve yet to lay your eyes upon—it’s dainty and simple, yet it screams elegance in the best way possible.
You look up at Taesan, obviously bug-eyed. “What- I’m- thank you?”
Taesan throws his head back, laughing. He perches an eyebrow up, clearly amused. “What am I supposed to answer? ‘You’re welcome’?”
Oh. It’s part of his terms.
You glare at him.
Not missing a beat, Taesan says with a big grin on his face, “what is your lazy ass waiting for? Put it on—or do you need me to help with that?”
You massage your temples, tempted to stick your tongue out at him, hissing the obvious at him—that you do not want to wear his initials around your neck.
“I don’t need your help,” you say between gritted teeth, harshly yanking the necklace from the box. You swiftly clasp the necklace around your neck, secretly surprised that you’re able to do so.
Maintaining a glare, you retort, “I’m only wearing this stupid necklace because it’s part of your terms.”
You throw your gaze elsewhere, Taesan laughing his stomach out in the background. Why is he finding your irritated state so funny?
The pendant feels cold against your skin, sending tingles. You gulp, feeling odd. You hadn’t announced your ‘relationship’ to your friends yet—but seeing you with Taesan’s initials could certainly start rumours.
A part of you is jumping with triumph—your plan is starting to set its course, while another part of you is afraid of it all. What if you’re finally not good at something, no matter how much you try—pretending you’re in love with your rival, the bane of your existence?
“We’ll start slow,” you hear Taesan say, pulling you back into reality. You quickly morph into your stoic expression—one that you find yourself often putting up around people. “Like everyone else does. Soft launch.”
“Ah,” you manage, nodding. “Sounds good.”
“Even though that necklace certainly is a big jump for a soft launch,” Taesan voices, chuckling. His words cause you to narrow your eyes at him, hyper aware of the cold metal against your skin—a mark that Taesan managed to place on you.
It’s all fake, you chant to yourself. Once Anton gets the message, it’ll all be over.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
THE past few weeks had been a blur. Nothing was out of the ordinary—you attended classes, performed mootings and sent in assignments like usual. Though, only one thing that was out of the routine.
Taesan no longer felt like a thorn to your side.
You still hate him—you despise the way he carries himself, so proud and confident. You wish you could punch his face for the way he’s so smooth with his words, the way that his charm works on everyone so well. You absolutely hate the way a handsome idiot like him had the potential to beat you in every single subject if you slacked for even a minute.
Yet, to the public, he’s your boyfriend.
A cliche: rivals to lovers, they say.
Despite being the one proposing the whole fake dating plan, you had been the one following Taesan’s itinerary so far. The two of you had finally exchanged phone numbers, and at night, Taesan would always send a list of ideas on how to make the soft launch more obvious day by day.
The first week, you found yourself wearing tops that highlighted the H.D pendant, styling your hair to make it more noticeable—you even went as far as attending Taesan’s birthday celebration to top the chances of people noticing the pendant. And Taesan didn’t inform you of this one, but you often found him telling his friends, yours, or random coursemates to pass you drinks and snacks. You had no idea how Taesan had gotten the list of all your favourite things to munch on, but you secretly did enjoy the free flow of snacks. Anton had passed you a snack from Taesan too—five packs of your favourite Choco Pie. You couldn’t forget the bewildered face Anton had as he passed them to you, eyes filled with question and a hint of jealousy.
“What’s up with Han?” he asked.
You shoved the Choco Pies into your shoulder bag, biting back a smile. Who wouldn’t be jolly after getting five of their favourite tidbits?
“How would I know?” you replied bitterly. You quickly turn away from Anton, the uncomfortable feeling of being around him overpowering the bubbly feeling you had from getting snacks.
“Well, those Choco Pies are from him,” Anton repeated for the second time. “And I don’t recall him being anything but hostile to you.”
You suppress a scoff. “Maybe he’s had a change of heart? His brain is probably tired of coming up with things to try and outsmart me,” you muttered. As if.
“Well, if anything—if that asshole tries to do anything to you, I’ll… be here for you, Y/N,” Anton said, taking a step closer. Your eyes widened and your jaw clenched. You quickly finished packing your bag up, swinging it over your shoulders.
You said that last time, too.
“Don’t talk to me, Anton,” you responded as monotony as possible before running out of the lecture hall, not giving Anton even a glance.
The following weeks, Taesan was hanging out with you even more than the previous week. He wasn’t being too obvious, but to you, him walking slightly behind you and not throwing a loud sarcastic remark was already an apparent sign that would show everyone that your dynamics had changed.
Anton had found yet another chance to corner you after a Public International Law lecture. You stayed back in the hall to reread your theoretical essay before sending it in. Behind you, Taesan was packing up his things, busy scrolling through something in his phone.
“Hi, Y/N,” you froze when Anton’s voice reached your ear drums.
You look up at him with a glare. “What do you want?”
Anton flashed his usual pitiful, soft smile. “Nothing. Just a meal with you—this week has been quite stressful for you, right? I heard that last Monday’s mooting was rough.”
“You’re not even a law student, Anton,” you seethed. The KOZ School of Business student ID card hanging on Anton’s neck looked extremely out of place amongst the ocean of law students. “Please kindly get lost, go back to the Business building.”
“My course mates are boring. Besides, you’re more fun to be around,” Anton replied. “I know we… haven’t been on good terms, but give me a chance to fix it all?”
You gritted your teeth, your hands beginning to shake.
The audacity of this boy… where is my stupid fake boyfriend when I need him–?
“I think she clearly said for you to get lost, bud.”
You fought back a grin. Finally.
“Han?” Anton tilted his head. “Wait– who are you to tell me that?”
Taesan stood next to you, his backpack dangling from one shoulder. His height towered significantly above you, making you standing right below his shoulders—enough to match Anton. “Who do you think I am?”
Anton’s eyes darted towards the pendant on your décolletage, his eyes bulging. “What the…” you heard him mutter under his breath.
Taesan seemed to notice this too, and he swiftly pulled you close, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “So, get it now? Get lost, Lee, and give your ex some space. An ex is an ex for a reason.”
Anton then left with a fuming expression, leaving you in fits of relieved laughter after. You thanked Taesan, who simply responded with a polite smile.
“By the end of this, don’t forget the wish, yeah?” he said, before walking out of the lecture hall.
You stood there, blinking profusely. You had completely forgotten the last clause of your agreement with Taesan—once you were satisfied with his service, you had to grant him one wish. Anything that he wanted.
You face palmed yourself. Why didn’t you think twice before typing that down? You mentally made a note to yourself to prepare your wallet for the outrageous request that the thorn in your side would make later on.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“ARE you and Taesan dating?”
Sophia’s question makes you almost spit your lunch through your nose.
“What?”
“Girl, don’t you dare pretend not,” Yunjin interrupts, pointing her spoon at you. “You literally have his initials as a necklace that you never take off! H.D., which means Han Dongmin, right? Isn’t that his real name?”
“It’s not like–”
“No, no. It’s so obvious! Taesan’s around you more now, and he even gave you a birthday present!”
Sophia smiles, “he looks at you so differently now!”
Yunjin laughs, nodding. “Yeah, yeah, that too, I guess,” she then looks at you, directly in the eyes, “I guess Han Taesan and Y/N L/N have finally begun their lovers era, huh?”
You feel your cheeks warming up, and guilt fills your chest. You draw a sharp inhale before telling the girls the full story. And subconsciously, your fingers find the pendant, playing with it.
“It’s fake,” you sigh, “I mean, not the necklace—he’s just pretending. I’m pretending, too. None of this is… real.”
Sophia gasps and Yunjin frowns.
“Are you… sure? What for?” Sophia asks.
Yunjin nods in agreement. “I’ve always thought that dude had feelings for you, but I… I didn’t realise it’s actually wrong and my deductions were totally off.”
You scoff, though Yunjin’s words left you wondering. “Taesan doesn’t like me—have you girls seen how he treats me?”
“He treats you well,” Yunjin states plainly, shoving a spoonful of rice into her mouth.
“No,” you immediately shake your head, “he hates seeing me happy! He always finds a way to stick his annoying nose into my life, mocking me. He’s like always, always there to only laugh at my face.”
“Then why did he agree?” Sophia asks.
“To what?”
“To fake date you,” she continues, taking a sip of her yakult. “Well, I’m sure you have a plan—a contract and all—don’t you?”
Your eyes widen. How do these two girls know you so well?
“Yeah. I do. I’m doing all this because of Anton,” the look on your friends’ faces makes you feel a little relieved, “I need him to shut up about me.”
You recall the ridiculous rumour you’ve heard about you from Yunjin, that’s been going around like crazy—the rumour that you used to date Anton because he’s rich and that you used him as a bribe to get outstanding grades. Those close to you knew that is and would never become true—yet people are always jealous of others who have certain things better than them.
It may seem like a small matter to some, but to you, it’s a matter of reputation. Your whole image and potentially, your graduation is at risk. What if the rumour reaches some professor and they report you? You couldn’t risk the huge amount of money and time you spent, only to be scrapped off the dean’s list due to some rumour.
Yunjin herself had recorded proof of Anton trying to turn her against you, using that rumour. If she hadn’t shown you the recording, you wouldn’t have believed that sweet, kind Anton was the one who spread those malicious whispers about you.
Now, you’ve got to end it all. One way or another.
You continue finishing your lunch, Taesan somehow in mind. By the end of your lunch, you’re convinced that this is truly all an act—it’s nothing real, and in the end, you’re both just people who hate each other and use each other for selfish, personal reasons.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“DO I really have to wear your ugly varsity jacket?” Dongmin hears you grunt through the call. He stifles a laugh, tossing a ball up and down.
“Obviously, you dimwit,” he replies, “you’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”
Dongmin lets himself smile. The word rolls off his tongue like a simple melody—it feels natural for him to say. He finds it odd, yet entertaining—your reaction is worth it all. Besides, it’s quite refreshing to take a break from hating you, sometimes.
“Besides, your ex is going to be there,” Dongmin reminds, his voice more throaty than expected. “He’s on the team as well, remember?”
“Yeah,” he catches your quiet answer.
“Anyway, how do you even have time for all this?” you question from the other end of the line.
“Hmm,” Dongmin hums, “I do have time.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me,” you hiss. “You’re in law school, Han Taesan.”
“What? Like it’s hard?”
Dongmin lets out a hearty laugh as he hears you gasp—one of the loudest and most genuine expressions he’s gotten out of you yet.
“I’m so done with you,” you huff. Dongmin hears you shuffle through your closet, most likely finding something to wear.
“You say that everytime,” Dongmin whispers to himself softly.
“Anyway,” you announce loudly, “you better have some food for me once I arrive—I’m wearing your stupid varsity jacket.”
“Alright, sweetheart, anything for you,” Dongmin jests in a sing -song voice.
He hears you yelp in disgust, chuckling. “Yuck! Fuck off, Taesan!”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
IT’S a friendly match, nothing serious, Taesan had said; yet you’re here amongst other significant others, to watch him and his team play against another school’s team.
At the bleachers, you feel called out, and insanely out of place. Everyone looks so in love—girlfriends wearing jerseys with their boyfriends’ numbers and names on the back, painted their faces accordingly, and even cheering for them with their hearts; mothers and siblings gathering together to support their sons and brothers.
Everyone looks so genuinely in love, and you’re the only one who’s there just because you have to. You arrived only two minutes before the match started, too, because you obviously don’t love Taesan enough to be rescheduling your work shift to see him play.
You fidget with the edges of the varsity jacket you’re wearing, oddly feeling how it’s perfectly oversized on you.
Earlier, Taesan had spotted you sitting awkwardly on the bleachers. He ran over to you, quickly handing you a quesadilla and a cup of bubble tea, before jogging back to the basketball court to warm up. He didn’t say anything, nor did you—but the gesture made you feel weirdly fuzzy.
Taesan did actually get you some food, even though you grumpily yelled at him to do so. You thought he wouldn’t, just so that he could get on your nerves, just like he always does.
You watch him and the team warm up, pumping up positive energy with each other. You take a bite of your quesadilla, trying to ease your heart—yet you just can’t forget the real reason why you’re here.
Jersey number 35.
The whistle blows, indicating the start of the game, and you catch Anton’s glance at you. He gives you a wide smile, winking twice—a sign that he made up, thanking you for coming, just like the old days. You grimace, turning away.
The mission is to make it seem like I’m in love with Taesan.
You intently watch Taesan play in the arena, his moves sharp and powerful. He slips through the opposition’s defense flawlessly, scoring goals smoothly. Every time he throws the ball, it gets into the hoop—people erupt in cheers and he’s surrounded by his teammates.
And every time, Taesan looks up at you, flashing his signature smirk. His grin sparkles, lighting up the room—it makes you feel like you’re the only one in the huge arena.
It makes you feel odd.
Like there’s so much more under that grin he flashes to you every time he scores.
You touch the pendant on your décolletage, the cold metal stinging against your skin. Your fingers trace the letters—the initials of Taesan’s birth name—reminding you this is all a set-up. You’re supposed to pretend, and Taesan is pretending too.
He must be.
Taking a deep breath, you tug the varsity jacket closer to your body, shoving your hands into its pockets. The weight of Taesan’s name and number lay heavy on your back, yet you don a bright smile—trying your best to show your support for him.
Right now, you’re Han Taesan’s girlfriend. Player number 11’s girlfriend.
The match ends with Anton’s final goal, and KOZ Academy’s team wins 115-113. The entire gym erupts in waves of cheer and heartfelt hugs, every attending person feeling proud of their team, losing or not. You jog down the stairs, heading towards Taesan, whose height stands out in the crowd.
When you reach the end of the stairs, you notice Anton’s gaze on you. You glance at him, the weight of past memories dragging you down. At the end of these exact same stairs, you used to run straight to Anton, engulfing him in a hug after a match. You used to kiss his cheek, congratulating him for a successful game. You used to feel like your entire world revolved around him, and that you would be happy with him.
But that was in the past. Now, you can look at Anton with nothing in your heart. You feel nothing but plain resentment—damning him for the things he did to you. You had thought he was the love of your life, that you’d grow old with him—but Anton had other plans, and another girl that he prioritised more than you.
You turn your head away, directing your gaze towards Taesan. He’s talking to his friends, his hair wet from the sweat. He’s grinning proudly, talking about something that’s interesting to boys.
You sigh. Hopefully this whole set-up works—Anton leaves you alone, the rumours die down, and you can go back to bashing Taesan’s head.
And hopefully, you can move on, too. Once and for all.
From the corner of your eyes, you see Anton take a step towards you. Though, what you don’t see is that Taesan is faster. He waves at you, calling your name with a big grin, before running to give you a hug.
Your eyes widen upon the impact, and it’s like everything is in slow motion.
Taesan pulls away, ruffling your hair. His eyes crinkle with his grin. “Are you proud of me, darling?”
Darling.
You gulp.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
You give him a laugh, trying your best to not make it sound staged. Your nose crinkles at the smell of sweaty boys. Taesan notices, of course, and he chuckles.
“Sorry, I must smell bad. I’ll be sure to spray on some more deodorant next time.”
You gaze into Taesan’s eyes, his arms still around your waist. There’s some kind of softness behind his teasing look—something that you’ve never seen before.
A small smile forms on your lips, one that you’re unable to hold back. “Good job, Taesan.”
“Yeah?” Taesan laughs, his eyes forming crescent moons. “Thanks, Y/N.”
He then leans in to whisper, “that’s the first time I’ve heard that from you.”
You push him away, rolling your eyes. “Fuck off, Taesan. I’ll be waiting at the bus stop.”
Taesan laughs loudly as you stomp away. “By the way,” he yells, “you look good wearing my number, sweetheart!”
You lower your head, biting your lips to fight two things—the urge to flash the middle finger to the jolly Taesan behind you, and the weird fluttering feeling that erupts in your stomach every time he calls you ‘sweetheart’.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“Y/N,” you turn around, finding a panting Anton in front of you.
You’re standing in line outside one of the most famous pasta restaurants in the heart of the KOZ School of Medicine square, waiting to buy this one pasta dish you’ve been craving for the entire month. You didn’t tell anyone you’d be here—not even Taesan or the girls—so you’re weirded out by the fact that your ex found you here.
“...Anton,” you curtly acknowledge.
“Is it true?” he asks.
You force your eyes close for a second, wishing that it wasn’t wrong to beat someone up. “What?”
“That you’re dating Han Taesan. I saw him kissing your cheek last time.”
Your heart almost stops beating for a second. Almost two months have passed, and almost everyone in the entire campus of KOZ Academy knows that you and Taesan are finally getting tired of fighting each other—falling in love instead.
Your plan has passed the soft launch phase, and now, you’re having your nemesis call you sweet, adoring nicknames out in public.
“Yes,” you answer, managing a deadpan expression. “What about it?”
“Do you love him?”
You narrow your eyes at Anton, feeling like if he keeps on shooting questions like this, he’d go home with a black eye. “Why does it matter if I love him or not?”
“Because,” Anton starts, his voice beginning to waver with every following word, “you used to love me.”
His words hang in the air, thick with a known, cursed history. You could hear your heart stutter for a split second, but you shake your head, quickly suppressing the feeling. You take in a sharp breath, feeling the heat of old anger rise in your chest. You force yourself to look at Anton, eyes hardening.
“That was two years ago, Anton,” you say, your voice detached. “And you made sure to end it, remember?”
Anton’s face flickers with something—guilt, regret, maybe even a hint of fear—but you’re not interested in seeing it. You’re sick of it—too familiar with the way he can spin his words to make himself seem like the victim.
“You don’t get to do this,” you continued, lips tightening into a thin line. “You don’t get to just show up and act like we can pick up where we left off, after what you did with Mina."
Anton’s face darkens the moment your old best friend’s name leaves your mouth, but you hold his gaze without flinching. Anton opens his mouth, probably to throw another lame and poorly explained excuse that you’ve heard before, but you’re faster than he is.
“Save it,” you snap. “You don’t have any right to ask me if I love Taesan after what you did. You lost that right the moment you lied to me and slept with her.”
Anton looks taken aback, as if he hadn’t expected you to bring that up, but obviously, you don’t care. You’ve held your feelings in for so long—leaving them behind quietly to try and move on without a commotion. You’ve spent enough time letting him walk all over you in the past—you’re not about to let him do it again.
For a moment, Anton looks like he’s about to say something more, but you don’t give him a chance. You turn away, taking a small step back as you glance briefly at the line in front of you. “I’m done with this conversation, Anton. You should be, too.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
THE next morning, after your first class of the day, you sigh as you find yourself waiting outside of a rather packed coffee shop—allegedly Taesan’s favourite one—bundled up in Taesan’s scarf. Autumn is starting to give way to winter, and as it’s doing so, the winds and temperatures are getting crazier. You bury your face further into the softness of Taesan’s scarf, letting the mixture of champagne orange, passion fruit, and sugar vanilla attack your senses. It’s disturbing, once the fact that the scarf that’s warming you up belongs to Taesan registers in your head; however, you had no choice. Freezing your nose off was the only other option.
“Hey,” you hear Taesan’s voice, turning instantly towards him.
“Apple pie latte?” he says, handing you a warm cup of said coffee. Grabbing it from him, you perk your eyebrows up.
“How did you know?” you say, pushing the scarf down. Taesan shrugs, sipping his own drink. You glance at the sticker on his cup: cinnamon maple latte.
“Instincts.”
You snicker at his reply, rolling your eyes. “Cut me some slack.”
The two of you then walk back towards the law school complex, where both of your classes will be held next. The winds begin to blow, and you find yourself hiding half your face behind Taesan’s scarf. You squint your eyes, blinking harshly as the stray strands of hair sting them.
“I love autumn, but not this kind,” you mumble.
Taesan glances at you, and in one swift motion, he grabs your free hand and shoves it into the pocket of his coat. He interlaces his hand with yours, letting his body warmth transfer to you.
Your eyes widen, your brain slow at processing the situation. You whip your head towards the tall man walking with you, his expression relaxed as ever.
“What are you doing?” you hiss, trying to pull away.
Taesan gives you a look that yells ‘really, Y/N?’. “Keeping you warm?”
“I don’t need your help,” you retort, yanking your hand away.
Taesan grabs it back, shoving it into his pocket. This time, his grip on your hand is firmer than before. “I don’t need my girlfriend to freeze to death—it’s going to ruin my reputation.”
Realisation hits you, again, like a ton of bricks right at the face.
Oh.
“Okay,” you say quietly, letting him do his thing. You look away, deciding to admire the surrounding golden trees. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself of how this whole ‘thing’ with Taesan is temporary—and having a personal heat packet isn’t too bad.
Once the two of you reach the lecture hall together, people begin to clearly spectate. You pull your hand away from him, rushing to your usual seat. Taesan, his expression calm as he always is, walks over to his usual seat as well—directly behind you.
Then, two minutes before the lecture starts, the person you truly hated comes into view, and decides to sit at the empty seat next to you.
“Hi, Y/N,” your ex, Anton, greets you with the biggest smile on his face. You mentally sob—already dreading the three hours to come.
You turn away, scooting as far as you could. The memories rush like a flood you can’t stop—reminding you of the heart-tearing pain the boy sitting next to you caused.
“Y/N? You alright? You look pale,” Anton says, probing further.
“It’s the weather,” you reply dully, your lips downturned. You unravel Taesan’s scarf from your neck, placing it on your lap. Your eyes fixed onto the lecture, you ignore Anton’s attempts to get you conversing with him.
“Y/N, are you free after class?” Anton whispers, twenty minutes into the lecture.
“No.” You give him a side glance.
“And you don’t even take IT,” you fake a smile, “so I don’t think you should even be here. With due respect, get lost, yeah?”
“I’m honoured,” Anton whispers back. The soft smile on his face makes you gag. “You still remember things about me.”
“Oh, please,” you grimace, anger beginning to bubble up inside of you. “I’d rather make out with Taesan than remember even the tiniest bit of–”
You suck in your breath sharply, your cheeks flushing at an alarming rate. You had blurted your words out too fast to even register the fact that you’re actually wearing the said person’s initials in a necklace ‘round your neck.
“You’d rather what now, sweetheart?”
Hearing Taesan’s voice, you can almost see his smug smirk decorating that annoyingly attractive face of his.
Your eyes widen.
I did not just admit that.
You turn to Taesan for a moment, flashing him a sheepish smile. You quickly spin back to face the lecture, forcing yourself to focus.
After the lecture concluded, you find yourself stuck in a sticky situation—Anton just can’t let you go out.
“Do you want to go and grab lunch together? It’s pretty late for lunch, and I know your stomach gets upset easily if you don’t eat,” you wince upon hearing his soft tone.
You frown, hating the fact that Anton knows almost a lot of things about you. “No, Anton, I’m sure I said–”
“She said no, Lee, I’m sure even a stupid motherfucker can understand.”
Seeing Anton’s eyes almost pop out at the sight of Taesan next to you, you’re sure that you look the same. You turn sharply towards Taesan, who has his hand perfectly placed on your back. The look on his face is fierce and scary, like he’s about to completely destroy Anton exactly where he’s standing.
“Han,” Anton addresses him curtly. “I didn’t know that you’re on… good terms with Y/N.”
You fidget with the charm on your décolletage, collecting every bit of energy you have to maintain a stoic expression.
Taesan flashes a sly smirk, pride radiating from his eyes as the corners of Anton’s lips twitch. “Why? Is it important to you who I’m close to?”
“No, but given your history with Y/N—I don’t want her to get hurt,” Anton blathers, “so I’m gladly asking you to–”
“What? Fuck off?” Taesan scoffs. Your eyes bulge, somehow not expecting Taesan’s choice of words to be so vulgar. “I think that’s what you’re supposed to do, Lee.”
“Y/N,” Anton says, desperation vivid in his voice. He grabs your wrist, and you instinctively step back. “C’mon, let’s go. I know you don’t like this stupid asshole here–”
Before you could even act, Taesan steps in front of you, shoving Anton to the floor. The students who are still lingering around stop to look. You couldn’t hold in your gasp—Taesan looks extremely angry, you swear you could see fire in his eyes.
A thought clicks into your head.
Taesan is the it-boy, of course he’s good at acting.
You take a step back, weirded by the heavy feeling of disappointment that begins to cloud your heart as soon as you remember the arrangement.
It’s just acting, Y/N. Get it together.
“Don’t touch her, bastard,” you hear Taesan hiss before he turns to you. Anger still lingering around, you watch with silence as Taesan relaxes the tension in his jaw. In a mirroring silence, he gestures for you to follow him out. You nod.
As you turn on your heel, Anton calls out, visibly irritated.
“Y/N,” he says, “what’s going on?”
You give him a mocking smile. You swing Taesan’s scarf around your neck. “I don’t think I owe you an explanation, Anton.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
AS you and Taesan walk out of the lecture hall, you can’t ignore the heavy weight settling in your chest. It keeps replaying in your mind: the way Taesan stepped in, fiercely protective—it’s all an act, right? You sneak a glance at Taesan, but his face is unreadable, his jaw still slightly clenched from the encounter.
“Taesan… you didn’t have to do that,” you mumble, playing with the hem of his scarf.
Taesan exhales through his nose, his shoulders rising slightly. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” he then adds under his breath, “fucking bastard.”
You blink, unintentionally slowing your steps. That’s… different from what you expected.
“Taesan,” you try again, but he shoves his hands into his pockets, picking up the pace.
You know you should just let it go, but the air between the two of you feels heavier than it was before. Was it just an act? Maybe it was—and that Taesan’s acting skills are as good as the rom-com actors—but something about the way he had looked at Anton; like he was seconds away from doing more than just shoving him to the ground.
It feels too… real.
A sudden gust of wind cuts through your coat, making you shiver. Instantly, Taesan grabs your wrist and pulls you into a nearby convenience store.
“Sit,” he orders, disappearing for a moment. You watch him move through the aisles, confusion twisting in your chest. You take a seat exactly where he ordered you to, your head fuzzy from the mixture of confusing, unnamed emotions.
When he returns, he kneels slightly, pressing a warm drink and a heat pack into your hands, his fingers lingering just a second too long.
“You’re hopeless,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “First my scarf, now this.”
You gasp dramatically, rolling your eyes as your lips twitch, your heart knocking against your ribs. “You’re the one who keeps giving me things.”
Taesan just hums in response, his gaze locking onto yours. His usual unreadable expression softens, something almost unreadable flickering in his eyes.
Your grip tightens on the cup, trying to shake off the way your body reacts to his warmth. This whole thing with Taesan was supposed to be temporary. So why did it feel like something had changed?
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
DONGMIN takes several deep breaths, his eyes shut. The jazz music plays in the background, and the buzz of the cafe calms him down.
No wonder Y/N likes this place.
Dongmin opens his eyes, finding himself staring at you ordering drinks and some food for the two of you. You had dragged him here as soon as you finished your drink at the convenience store, repeating that you needed to treat him to some food. Your voice rings in his head, telling him that he needed to follow you to the coffee shop, to cool off his steam.
“Do you like apple pie?” you ask, setting a plate of two slices of said dessert, accompanied by two scoops of vanilla ice cream.
“Why do you even ask if you’ve already gotten it? Seems like my preference doesn’t matter,” Dongmin replies, putting on the usual smirk.
Your eyes widen and he chuckles.
“Well,” you huff, “I like apple pie—and it’s impossible to find someone who doesn’t.”
“Alright,” Dongmin laughs, and it hits. His laughter dies down as the realisation sinks in—watching you devour your slice of apple pie like it’s the only food you’ll eat until the end of time.
Dongmin, as he puts a bite of his food into his mouth, realises how messed up he is. He realises how often a hearty laugh escapes him when he’s with you—how a flustered, frustrated mess you make him.
“Why are you being nice to me?” Dongmin asks. He pokes his fork absentmindedly into the crust of the apple pie, second guessing his question the moment it leaves him.
You and he had always, always been rivals—a pair that’s never meant to get along. He’d always find you muttering curses and throwing glares in his direction; and he’d always find himself trying his best to reciprocate your disdain for him.
Dongmin does hate you, too.
He hates how you’re so confident, so diligent, so talented. He despises how hard you work, how determined you are, how you seem to always effortlessly bring him down and defeat him in academics. He feels the most intense dislike for you—whenever you walk in the room, he feels like the world is about to explode, along with his sanity.
Dongmin hates, with a burning passion, how he can’t stop himself from falling in love with you. He absolutely loathes the way you smile, the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh, and the way you look at him—with such fiery determination that’s enough to knock him off his feet. He completely hates the way that he has to keep his tongue sharp, and his attitude insufferable, for you to give him a sliver of your attention. He perfectly hates the way it’s impossible for him to let you know that he doesn’t hate you, at all.
Dongmin watches you open your mouth to reply, yet you don’t for a few moments. You return his gaze, uncertainty playing around in her eyes.
“What do you mean?” you ask, tilting your head in confusion. “We’re just eating apple pie, Taesan,” you laugh sheepishly.
For the first time, Dongmin doesn’t have an immediate answer. He swallows the bite of apple pie in his mouth, unsure of what he should say next. His smirk fades and hesitation engulfs him.
You notice this, of course, and your frown deepens. Though, before you could do anything, Jaehyun—Dongmin’s friend, suddenly appears.
He greets Dongmin, patting his shoulder. “Yo, Taesan, long time no see! Wait–” he pauses, laying his eyes on you. “Wait, am I dreaming? You two? Sitting together? Laughing? Are pigs flying now?”
You immediately shake your head, laughing along with Jaehyun. Dongmin, on the other hand, is dazed. He stays silent, still unsure of what to say. He’s finding everything peculiar—the way he’s unable to say anything, the way that his heart is thumping loudly against his chest at the mention of you as his girlfriend.
He watches you politely say goodbye to Jaehyun, gaining certainty with every beat of his heart.
His little crush on you is resurfacing, after two years of pushing it down with faked hatred.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
AFTER Jaehyun leaves, you let yourself sneak a glance at Taesan, who’s absentmindedly poking holes in his already destroyed pie crust, avoiding your gaze. You notice his oddly quiet state—the Taesan you know would never miss the chance to throw in a witty remark.
You throw him a glare, slightly hoping it’d make him knock out of his trance. You set your fork down with an audible clink. “You’re being weird. I mean, you always are insufferably weird, but this is even weirder.”
Taesan scoffs, lifting his drink to his lips. “And you’re being annoying. Paranoid.”
You cross your arms, an annoyed grimace forming on your face. “Am I?”
Taesan holds your gaze for a moment too long, something flickering in his eyes before he looks away. “Maybe not.”
Oh.
You lean back, sighing dramatically. “Fine. I don’t get what you being weird has with me being paranoid, but yeah, I’m totally being paranoid. Definitely imagining things,” you scoff sarcastically.
Taesan hums in agreement. “You do that a lot.”
You choke on air. Glaring at Taesan, you retort, “you’re infuriating.”
“And yet, here you are, sharing dessert with me,” Taesan smirks, tilting his head.
You pause, blinking profusely.
That… is a valid point. How did you even get here? You and Taesan are supposed to be rivals. Aren’t you supposed to hate each other?
Your stomach twists, and suddenly, you find it difficult to swallow your final bites of apple pie.
After moments of deafening silence, you say, your voice slightly wavering, “you’re unbelievably good at dodging questions, Taesan.”
You bring your drink to your lips, hoping that you sounded casual.
Taesan looks up from his finished plate of apple pie, smirking as he leans back. “Oh, yeah? Have you ever considered that you’re too good at asking too many questions, and it’s insufferable?”
Your eyes widen slightly, flickering to the way that his eyes glare vaguely at you. “Maybe I am,” you admit quietly, “but you’re dodging the real ones.”
Taesan’s smirk falters a little bit, just for a second, and there’s something unrecognisable in his eyes. Something you can’t put a name on.
Maybe a shift in the air. Maybe it’s just your imagination. Or maybe it’s because your heart is racing just a little too fast.
You’re so focused on trying to read Taesan’s expressions that you don’t notice the way your voice softens. “So… if this whole thing is an act, why do I keep feeling like you actually care?”
You mentally hit yourself. That isn’t what you meant to say—and it’s certainly not what you would say in front of Taesan.
Though, it’s out before you can stop yourself. The words hang in the air, heavy and uncertain.
Taesan freezes, his eyes widening with a vulnerability for a fraction of a second. Then, just as quickly as it came, his guard comes back up. “Like we’ve discussed before, it’s an act. Nothing more.”
His voice is stern and plain, and his expression is stoic, but you catch the tremble in his hand as he’s fiddling with his fork.
That, somehow, doesn’t sit right with you.
You learn forward, the pendant swinging against your décolletage, your expression more serious now. “Then why do you care so much?”
You watch him closely, catching the tightening in his jaw and the way his hand proceeds to rest on the table, fingers anxiously tapping against the wood. Taesan doesn’t answer immediately, and instead, he looks away to drift his gaze to the window.
Your chest suddenly tightens. He’s acting like this is nothing, but you certainly feel it—the crack in the walls you’ve both constructed carefully against each other. It’s a tug at the back of your mind, a repeating whisper you’ve been trying so hard to push away.
And yet, the silence between you feels louder than ever.
Minutes pass by and the silence gets louder and louder. You’re lost in your own thoughts—realising just how much you’re affected by Taesan; just how much more you’re feeling than you want to admit. In the silence, you’re wondering, are you just imagining all this? Maybe it’s just you, maybe it’s the fact that you’re finding something more from this fake relationship you have with Taesan, your nemesis.
Though, there’s something that you can’t deny: the fact that your chest tightens with fluttering butterflies every time he gets too close, every time his words shift to something softer than usual, it’s something that makes your heart trip in your chest.
“Y/N,” Taesan calls, his voice softer than anticipated, and you’re pulled out of your train of thought. You look at him slowly, uncertain and afraid of what’s to come. He pauses, as if he’s unsure of what to say next. “What if… I told you I’m not sure if I can pretend much longer?”
His gaze finally meets yours, and for a moment, there’s no mask—just the raw sincerity in his eyes.
Your breath catches in your throat, your heart skipping a beat. You open your mouth, trying to say something—but nothing comes out. The evident truth in his words hits you like an ocean wave on a sunny day, and you can’t help but feel something is shifting between you both.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
THE next few weeks pass by like a ridiculously large time-skip in a movie. You’re doing things like you usually do—attend classes, do mootings, send in assignments, study for exams. Though, there’s one big thing in your life that you can’t ignore—Taesan, your fake-dating arrangement, and the lingering, unspoken tension between the two of you. The first week after the coffee shop episode, you couldn’t sleep even a wink—your mind kept on replaying the scenes over and over again, the way you caught Taesan’s guard almost falling down. You’re sure you felt it too, the cracks in the walls you’ve built against him—even for a short moment.
At school, you’re hyper aware and extra distracted by Taesan. He’s doing his part of the agreement well, acting like he agreed he would. Every glance from him feels like a load of unspoken words, and the air between you two feels heavy. Every day you ponder, unsure of what to do with the new, fragile tension that’s settled between you and Taesan.
Today is the same—everything passes in a blur of lectures, assignments, and studying. You drag your heavy footsteps out of the room, your head spinning at the thought of the many assignments waiting for you. You look up, and the moment you step into the hallway, you see Taesan leaning against the wall, phone in hand, looking as calm as ever.
You walk near him, and your eyes meet—you see a flicker of something there—a tension, a question neither of you have the answer to.
“Y/N,” Taesan greets you with a casual, unreadable smile. You pause in your steps, turning to face him.
“Hi,” you reply quite timidly. You’re trying to sound casual, but you can hear the slight hitch in your voice. There’s no pretending this isn’t different now. There’s no pretending you didn’t almost cross a line last time.
Taesan takes a final glance at his phone before shoving it into his pocket. “Still pretending this is just an act?” he asks, his voice surprisingly soft but laced with something familiar, almost teasing.
You pause, your breath stuck in your throat. Your heart, yet again, skips a beat, and you try to brush it off by laughing nervously. “Me? Pretending? I’m not pretending,” you say, and it’s directed more towards yourself than to him.
You’re not sure who’s trying to convince who anymore.
Taesan looks taken aback. He blinks profusely before putting his usual, calm expression back on. “Yeah,” he whispers, nodding, “I’ll see you around, Y/N.”
You watch him walk away, heart twisting in the weirdest way.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
DONGMIN hates the way everything is now. Why can’t he just tell you everything? Why can’t he just tell you that he isn’t pretending, that he actually cares?
He wants to stop everything–going back to shoving insults at your face might be the safest option of them all. Yet, Dongmin finds himself caring for you in the little ways—wrapping his scarf around your neck, adjusting the placement of your bangs with a simple ruffle, placing a tin of coffee and bread in front of you whenever you seem exhausted with studying, sliding post-its to you with his handwriting reminding you to take breaks when needed. He still finds his heart racing upon seeing you; the way your lips pout when you’re deep in thought, the way you smile and laugh so adorably upon hearing a funny joke from your friends, the way you’re still so cute even when frustrated.
As he walks away, Dongmin fights with his own heart. Why was he acting like this? It’s so clear that you’re expecting something more, but why is he pushing you away?
Dongmin takes a deep breath. Yeah, he’s scared. He’s afraid that maybe it’s all in his head, maybe you’re the one acting so well and it’s just gotten to him.
Dongmin swears to get himself together, but it looks like he’s going to need more than just mental affirmations.
The next day, he misses his alarm, for the first time in forever, and is running late to his 9 AM lecture. He’s speed walking through students, dodging them with a bag hanging on one shoulder and his hair still partially wet. Just as he’s about to near the entrance of the Law building, he hears raised voices nearby. He puts his hood up, his first instinct is to ignore it all—he’s got no time to eavesdrop on people’s business. However, he recognises one of the two quarrelling voices—yours.
Dongmin’s steps come to a halt, and he turns to face you. His eyes slightly widen and his shoulders begin to tense as he sees you and Anton standing a few feet away, locked in an argument. He’s a bit too far away to hear the full conversation, yet he catches some bits of it.
You’re standing at your full height, stiffly in front of Anton, arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury. Anton, on the opposite side of you, no longer has that sickening, innocent smile—instead, he’s flashing you a mocking smirk.
The argument is already reaching its peak, yet Dongmin is quick to analyse the situation just by picking up a few bits.
“You think you’re really something, don’t you?” Anton taunts.
You scoff. Dongmin could tell you’re offended, yet the mask you put on really makes a difference. “At least I don’t have to put other people down to feel important.”
Anton scoffs back, “please. You act like you’re above all this, but you’re just as desperate for attention as everyone else.”
Dongmin clenches his jaw, watching the argument unfold as his fingers begin to twitch.
You give Anton a mocking laugh, stepping forward. “I don’t care what you think, Anton Lee. I don’t care if you think I don’t love Taesan, because what matters is my own feelings, not yours. And I’m done wasting my time on you.”
Before you could turn away and enter the building, Anton grabs your wrist.
It’s not aggressive, but it’s enough. Enough to make Dongmin see red.
Everything’s a blur—one second later, he’s towering in front of Anton, his eyes glaring daggers.
“Let her go,” his voice is low and threatening, as sharp as a blade.
Anton looks up, initially startled, but as soon as he sees Dongmin, he rolls his eyes. His hand still around your wrist, he says with a sneer, “look who’s here, Y/N’s knight in shining armour! Oh, so great, always the hero.”
Dongmin is too busy counting down the ways he could destroy Anton’s life to be noticing how immediate the warmth creeps up your cheeks. Dongmin, in one fluid motion, steps closer, standing between you and Anton.
“Did you hear me?” his voice drops deadly lower than before, his posture relaxed yet his eyes are dangerous. “Let. Go.”
Anton huffs, roughly letting go of your hand. He shakes his head. “You two are seriously something else,” he mutters before storming away.
You and Dongmin stand next to each other, cautiously eyeing Anton until he disappears from sight. For that moment, none of you say anything.
“What was that for?” you say suddenly, crossing your arms. “I didn’t need you to step in.”
Dongmin shoves his hood down to his neck, raising his eyebrow. Feeling slightly irritated, he scorns. “Yeah? Looked like you were having a great time.”
You roll your eyes, scoffing, but something pinches Dongmin’s heart as he notices there’s no real bite behind it. “I’m fine—I had it all handled.”
Silence.
Dongmin exhales sharply, words shooting out of his mouth without second thought. “I know. It’s just–”
He stops, his eyes landing on your wrist. Closes his mouth.
You wait for a few moments, before warily asking. “What? Just what?”
Dongmin hesitates. Suddenly, it’s all he can push out of his throat. He’s already there, halfway crossing the line he’s put between you and him for the past two years.
And then, it just… slips out.
“I just can’t stand it, okay?”
Your frown deepens, confused. “Stand… what?”
Dongmin lets out a frustrated breath, turning sharply to completely face you. “I can’t stand seeing you with people like that fucking bastard. I can’t stand watching you get into these stupid situations. And I really, really can’t stand how much I—”
His eyes widen, and his words stumble upon a stop. Dongmin stammers, realising what he was just about to say.
“Taesan,” you call, gently, hope suddenly shimmering in your eyes. “How much you what?”
Dongmin freezes. He’s silent, tongue frozen, unable to utter another word.
He can’t say it.
Instead, he runs a hand through his hair, muttering curses under his breath.
“You know what?”
“Taesan–”
“Next time,” he says quickly, in a softer voice, “don’t… waste your time on a guy like him.”
Your eye contact is still intact, you open your mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. Your eyes widen for a split second—as if you’re catching on to the feelings displayed, unknowingly, on Dongmin’s face.
His concern is real.
“W-we should go,” you stammer instead, gesturing to the Law building.
Dongmin nods. He grabs your backpack from you, signalling for you to walk in first. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
You force yourself to walk as swiftly as possible to the lecture hall, heart pounding, mind racing. Behind you, Dongmin’s entire body is tense. He’s finally realising he can’t keep his feelings for you hidden forever.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
THE next day, you can’t stop thinking about Taesan—and whatever he was about to say to you. Your mind races with a million different thoughts throughout the day. What if he actually feels the same? What if you’re not the only one looking for something more in this fake arrangement?
However, given that exams are looming closer, you’re only given a short amount of time to dwell on your thoughts. After your last class of the day, you find yourself cooped up in the library, studying the rest of the day away. Several of your friends join you, too.
The study group grows, joined by both your friends and Taesan’s—though, you didn’t even realise that Taesan is sitting across you the entire day, until everyone starts leaving one by one.
By midnight, it’s only you and him. You don’t look up, but you can feel your heart thumping faster than usual. You’re hyper aware of your surroundings—how close he is, how his scent feels comforting yet intimidating, and how his presence is reminding you of something that you’re too afraid to admit.
“Y/N,” you open your eyes to someone gently shaking your shoulder, the reality of things crashing onto you all at once. You lift your head up, realising that you fell asleep in the middle of reviewing a past paper. Your eyes meet with Taesan’s concerned gaze.
His voice is low and soft, as if it’s only for you. “Let’s take a break. You’ve been snoozing off way too many times.”
Your heart is beating a little faster than usual, but you agree. Taesan’s request seems too casual, and he looks like he needs a break too.
You follow his lead, walking a little bit behind him to the convenience store that’s still open in campus grounds. He’s silent, observing you and letting you pick anything you want before paying for both your things and his.
“Go sit,” he says, holding your instant tteokbokki package in hand, along with his instant noodles. “I’ll heat these up.”
Taesan quickly moves to the microwave before you can say anything in retaliation, a sign that you take seriously. He’s not in the mood for any fights.
You take a seat, and soon after, Taesan joins you. He puts your instant meal in front of you, breaking your chopsticks for you.
“Here,” he says, his voice quiet. “Careful, the tteok is still hot.”
He then slips his coat around you before turning back to his own beverages.
You find yourself staring at him, long after he’s handed you your things. You watch him, peacefully releasing his tension—running a hand through his hair, chugging down a cup of coffee.
Everything around you looks like it has a blurred filter on, yet one thing is crystal clear: Taesan, and his evident care for you. The longer you stare at him, the more you realise.
He’s always been the one. He’s always been there.
It hits you harder than any bad grade has ever done.
Taesan has always been like this—quietly looking out for you, quietly caring for you.
All this while, all the banter, the little arguments, moments, and glances—it’s not just rivalry. It’s not just the fact that he always finds a way to make you all grumbly and irritated. It’s not just the fact that, even back when you were with Anton, he’d always find a way to show his care for you.
It’s not just the fact that you enjoy his company, even if he makes you feel like you want to bang your head against the wall.
You like him.
You like Han Taesan.
You quickly turn your head away, blood rushing to your head as soon as the realisation hits you. You stuff a few bites of instant tteokbokki into your mouth, wanting to quickly get rid of whatever this warm, refreshing feeling is.
“Can you stop looking at me like that, L/N?”
You cough, shocked at how his sudden comment breaks through the almost comforting silence. All the past moments you’ve had with him—the banter, the insults, the arguments—run through your head as soon as your last name, what Taesan had always called you, reaches your ears.
“Like what?” emboldened by the awakening of your feelings, you retort, your tone more challenging than you intended.
Taesan snaps, pushing his chair back, raking a frustrated hand through his hair.
“Like I’m your fucking boyfriend.”
“What?” you’re confused, not expecting that out of his mouth. “What are you–”
“Like you’re waiting for me to say something that I know I can’t take back.”
“Say it, then.”
You say, challenging him. It feels sentimental—like the old days, where all you did when you met Taesan was throw taunting words at him. But at the same time, the words come out of your mouth without realising—daring the two of you to finally cross the line.
“I like you, okay? I probably love you at this point, I don’t know. I don’t know when it started, but I do. And I—” He exhales sharply, his voice softer. “I don’t want to keep pretending I don’t.”
The world stops spinning and you stare at him, blank.
Your tongue feels numb, your heart racing at a million miles per hour.
You feel the same, you’re sure, but you don’t know how to respond. Do you smile and say it back? Do you tease him, calling him an idiot like you always do?
“I didn’t mean to fall for you,” you catch Taesan muttering.
You smile. “Me too,” you say softly.
Taesan lifts his head immediately, sharply turning to you with widened eyes. “... pardon?”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
THE next few days feel like a refreshing spring breeze in the peak of winter, yet the air is filled with a cute awkwardness. After the confession, neither of you explicitly announce to one another that the two of you are a real couple now—yet your interactions feel new and unscripted, but no one exactly is making the first move.
Of course, your friends notice before the two of you do.
You’re sitting at the food hall together with Yunjin and Sophia, eating breakfast. You’re halfway through your pancakes, and Taesan—or Dongmin, as you call him now—suddenly takes a seat next to you.
“Mind if I join, girls?” he asks, a charming grin on his face. He’s asking the table, yet his gaze is directed to you. You bite your lip shyly, nodding.
“Sure, make yourself at home,” Yunjin says, her words laced with teasing. She watches with eagle eyes as Dongmin puts all of the sliced bananas from his serving of pancakes onto yours, knowing that you especially enjoy them with your breakfast pancakes. She snorts at the obvious look of love in Dongmin’s eyes, more evident now that he isn’t shoving insults at your face. “So, you two are really dating now?”
You choke on your bite of pancake, immediately blurting out,
“No!”
“Yes.”
You sharply turn to Dongmin, who has a smug look on his face. It’s the one look on his face that you’re used to, yet there’s a tint of pink on his cheeks. The edge of his smirk twitches, threatening to form into a cute, lovesick smile.
“...I see,” Sophia interrupts your awkward eye contact, sighing dramatically.
“We’re dating?” you ask Dongmin acutely, your brows connecting in an embarrassed frown.
“I don’t know,” Dongmin shrugs casually, the look in his eyes teasing. “Are we?”
The blush that instantly creeps up your cheeks tells you the answer. You look away, suddenly focused on the way you’re cutting your pancakes. Dongmin’s laugh echoes to your left, and your friends’ send you teasing looks.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
A few months later, on the first week back after winter break, you go on a walk around campus with your boyfriend, Han Dongmin. It feels weird, calling him yours now. Just almost half a year ago, you were fighting your ego to have your nemesis fake-date you in order to intimidate your ex into leaving you and your life alone. Now, that same thorn in your side has become the light of your life, the apple of your eye. Now, the two of you are in something that’s not written on a flimsy contract.
Dongmin had also helped clear out the rumours surrounding you—in the most annoying, Han Taesan way—announcing the truth about Anton by spreading it like a rumour to everyone. You still get second-hand embarrassment remembering that day, bombarded by questions and apologies from acquaintances and people you’ve only seen around.
“You know,” you say dreamily, distracted by your train of thought, “you’re so annoying—but I love you.”
Dongmin freezes, his steps coming to an immediate halt. You, too, freeze in your steps as you realise you’re a few steps ahead of him now. You turn around, eyebrows perked up. “What’s wrong, Dongmin?”
Dongmin.
The sound of your voice calling his birth name repeats in his mind, like a favourite song on loop. He stares, unable to say anything. His eyes fall on the pendant dangling from your neck, one that you started wearing due to the fake-dating arrangement. He remembered insisting that you take it off, so that he can buy you a new one later, but you said that it’s special so you won’t take it off.
I love you.
Dongmin feels a smile slowly bloom on his face.
She said it. She didn’t even hesitate. It’s like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
His face softens, jogging up to you. He gives you a cheeky smile.
“Say that again.”
You frown. “What again?”
“The first part.”
“What–” you pause, eyes widening as you get what he’s talking about. Heat rushes up your cheeks, warming your face despite Dongmin’s scarf wrapped around it. “I–”
“Yeah,” Dongmin says, smirking as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Me too.”
You bury yourself into the familiar scent of Dongmin’s scarf as he kisses your cheek.
“Fuck you, Han Dongmin,” you grumble, ignoring the obvious butterflies in your stomach.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
THAT weekend, you and Dongmin are eating lunch together at your favourite coffee shop. Dongmin had said that the vibes there makes him sleepy, and tried to bring you to eat at one of the more famous restaurants near the KOZ School of Engineering, yet the plan backfires on him when the line is certainly too long.
Now, the two of you are back at your favourite coffee shop, sipping warm cinnamon lattes.
“See?” you tease, smiling cheekily. “I told you this place is the best.”
Dongmin rolls his eyes, taking a big spoonful of the chocolate cinnamon roll on your plate. “I want to eat some real food, like kimchi jjigae, not these sweet chocolate desserts,” he complains, though he can’t hide the fact that he secretly loves it.
“Yet you’re the one finishing my cinnamon roll,” you retort, letting him subconsciously finish your dessert. You’re familiar with his love for chocolate.
Dongmin flashes you an innocent smile, shrugging. “Not my fault.”
Comfortable silence engulfs the two of you, letting you bask in each other’s presence. Suddenly, Dongmin leans closer, adjusting the place of the H.D pendant on your décolletage. Frozen, you watch him lean back into his seat, smiling as he admires you.
“You look good today,” he murmurs, “actually, you look good everyday.”
An undeniable tint of pink colours your face. “I’m literally wearing a black turtleneck sweater, Dongmin.”
His gaze softens. “Like the first time you sat next to me, three years ago, during our foundation year.”
Your eyes widen, your mind replaying the memory, fresh like it happened yesterday. “You… remember?”
“Of course,” Dongmin replies, his smile delicate.
“I even remember the day you walked up to me, confident and all. I thought you were going to brag to my face that you won first place for the quiz we had the day before, but then you told me to fake date you.”
You almost spit out the coffee from your mouth. “Han Dongmin!” you hiss. “Don’t remind me… it was so stupid.”
“Stupid?” Dongmin asks, tilting his head. The signature cocky smirk is back on his face. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah…” you sigh, “I mean, I could’ve resolved the matter by myself, you know–”
“But you know that I’m the best option,” Dongmin cuts you off, smug. You roll your eyes.
“I don’t think it’s stupid, though,” he continues, his expression softer. More… raw. “To be honest, I think I was ecstatic that you walked up to me that day.”
“Why?” you ask croakily.
“‘Cause I’ve always liked you, Y/N. I always have. I just don’t understand where things went wrong—maybe it’s the way I thought teasing you would gain me your attention at first. It did. But then, you became used to my teasing and thought of me as a threat—maybe ‘cause I’m smart as hell, too—but yeah. I don’t know how to say it but, all of that hatred was… pretend.”
You blink at him, too shocked to process his words. You try to reply, but mere stuttering comes out, and your face turns bright red.
Dongmin notices this, of course, and he turns on his shameless, impudent grin. “Besides, you said you’re going to grant me any wish that I have, right?”
Oh.
You inhale sharply. How could you forget? You immediately bring out your phone, checking the balance in your bank account. It’s quite a luxury, due to you working a few part time jobs during your break and whenever you can—but you certainly don’t think it’s fit for whatever grand wish Dongmin is about to demand from you.
“Fine,” you huff, “only because it’s part of our… old contract.”
“Old contract, huh?” Dongmin wheezes, already laughing hard. You frown, fighting back a smile.
“Why are you always laughing whenever I speak, dumbass?”
“Hey,” Dongmin pauses his laughter, flicking your forehead gently. It doesn’t even hurt, but you gasp dramatically, and he laughs it off. “It’s babe for you, sweet girl. And, I’m not laughing at you. I’m just admiring how cute and funny you are.”
Babe, huh?
You snort, hiding a smile. “Fine.”
“Anyway, speaking of the old contract,” Dongmin grins, “what’s the new one, then?”
“You haven’t even told me what sort of dumb, overpriced thing you want for your wish,” you say, lips set in a grim line. “And now you want another one?”
“My wish, huh?”
The unreadable look on his face makes you brace yourself and your wallet.
“Then, my darling, this is my wish.”
Dongmin leans forward, brushing his lips against yours. It’s subtle, short and sweet, but significant enough for you to realise it all—the reality of your feelings and his. He lingers for a while before sitting back in his chair.
“So,” he says coolly, ignoring the plain blush streaked across his face. “Can you grant me the wish? To kiss you anytime, and anywhere I want?”
“Basically, physical affection can be done anytime?” you say, quoting what this man in front of you said months ago, when both of you first agreed on the fake-dating situation. The whole absurd set-up that brought the two of you to where you are, today.
Dongmin laughs, clearly impressed. “Yeah,” he nods.
You give him a warm smile, glad that you’re finally able to follow your heart’s desires, and to not put up a wall of defense around him anymore.
“Wish granted.”
― �� htaesan, 2025.
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[Dev Log] February 2025
Hello, I hope your winter days are going well!
This is the first dev log of 2025, which means the end of my January break and the resumption of:
▹ Patreon billing and monthly activity. ▹ Monthly dev logs.
Although I took things easier in January, I still worked on the story and have quite a bit to share about my progress.
What was done last month?
▹ Worked on the draft for Chapter 3 Pt. 2.
Since shifting the story format from a visual novel to IF, my draft has required some changes and updates. There are some scenes I'd like to include from the old version, but I hesitate due to the potential increase in workload [I discussed them on Patreon]. Even without those additions, Chapter 3 Pt. 2 is shaping up to be massive, and I already can tell it shouldn't be expected until late spring [assuming I decide against including those moments and scenes]. As usual, the most recent updates on my progress will be shared weekly on Patreon and monthly in the dev logs here on my blog.
▹ Refined stats and their distribution.
I began refining the stats distribution in December, but I also made some changes throughout January. Overall, the full list of changes includes: ▹ Refinement and redistribution of personal and hidden stats. ▹ Renaming the "Approval" stat to "Alignment" [this change will apply in the next update]. I'd like to thank this anon for the idea; I should have done it sooner. A few more words about the stats: Something about the personal stats feels… lacking. I can't quite pinpoint what it is, but I have a feeling I need to progress the story further to understand what's missing, so for now, I've decided to focus on Chapter 3 Pt. 2.
▹ Finished the shortcut to Chapter 3 Pt. 2.
I decided to take care of the shortcut feature in advance, and it took me some time to compile all the choices due to the variations readers can encounter in different scenes. While I may return to it later if I decide that some choices from Chapter 3 Pt. 1 should be included, I'm glad I finished adding all the essential parts.
▹ Improved some scenes and fixed numerous grammatical errors, as well as a few coding issues.
Here's a list of major changes: ▹ L's phone call scene [Chapter 2]: Added a reserved flirt option and made the non-romantic option available to everyone [these changes will apply in the next update].
▹ K's morning scene [Chapter 3]: The last assertive flirt option in K's scene no longer includes "I forgive you", so the reader is not forced to immediately let go of all the tension when choosing a flirt option. Small note: I have some reservations regarding the choices provided in K's scene after their apology, so I will likely post a poll on Patreon to gather feedback on this matter.
▹ Solo morning scene [Chapter 3]: Due to an oversight, the solo scene didn't include a variation where the reader decides not to talk to the MC's twin sister and immediately goes to sleep. This variation of the scene has now been added.
What will I be working on in February?
▹ Chapter 3 Pt. 2: translating the draft and outlining the files for coding.
In addition to that, the bonus content on Patreon that will be released this month will include:
▹ Morgan's NSFW Alphabet. ▹ K's NSFW Side Story POV [Interactive].
Author's note.
I'd like to extend my gratitude to everyone who took the time to send helpful error reports, asks, and kind messages! Your support and interest help me improve my story, which truly means a lot to me.
Thank you for reading to the end! Wishing you a wonderful week and days after that! ♥
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do you have anymore advice? your post helped me so much pls I need more
The Restaurant Analogy For Reality Shifting
Aghhh I told myself I wasn’t going to post anything else, yet here I am XD. Hopefully this is helpful.
You already know how to shift. “Oh, but I—” nope. Nope. You already know how to shift. How do I know that? Because shifting is simply the act of becoming aware of your desired reality. And how do you become aware? By focusing, by choosing what you want to become aware of. When your focus and intention are aligned with your DR, you’re already shifting.
“But the symptoms—“
Oh to grab and politely shake you until you realize that “becoming aware of XYZ” is merely focusing on that thing, becoming aware of it. Are you laying there focusing on your DR? Congratulations, you’ve become aware of your DR.
(There’s a very popular post on here (that I can’t find rn bc I’m rushing as I type this) that states your awareness shifts first and then your senses follow. I cannot stress enough how true that is.)
When you lay down to shift, you don’t need to overcomplicate it. Just focus on your DR and allow it to come to you. Let yourself shift. Sure, allowing it might involve slipping into an altered state of consciousness, using methods, counting or affirming—if that feels natural to you in the moment. But ultimately, it comes down to self-trust. Your mind already knows how to shift. Maybe your issue is that you just need to step out of your own way and let it happen. Which in that case:
Deciding to shift is like deciding to go to a restaurant and sitting down.
Choosing your DR is like selecting a meal from the menu.
Letting your subconscious do the work is like trusting the chef in the kitchen to cook your meal.
What happens next? Inevitably, the chef brings out your meal—you become aware of your DR.
Now, what NOT to do:
You don’t march into the kitchen and grab the ingredients from the chef. You don’t argue with them about how they’re making your meal. Your chef, your mind, knows how to cook. You don’t pace back and forth from the kitchen to your table, spiraling in doubt, wallowing in self-pity, or crying to everyone in the restaurant about how you’ll never get your food and how you’re doomed to starve. You don’t leave the restaurant altogether. You sit down, relax, and trust the process.
“But what if my meal takes a year, or two, or even more?”
Well, think about it—what have you been doing during that time? Have you been running into the kitchen? Losing faith in the chef? Accusing him of not knowing how to cook? Your beliefs shape your reality. What you believe—what you truly believe—is what manifests.
This even applies to the “restaurant.” If you believe your meal will take forever, it will. If you believe the chef isn’t cooking, they won’t be. If you believe you’ll never get your meal, then you probably won’t.
But that’s the beauty of going to the restaurant. No matter how much you doubt, the meal comes eventually. Why else would you have sat down at the restaurant?
And there’s another thing: some meals may take longer, and that’s completely fine. Even if you’ve been patiently sitting here waiting for it and it’s been taking forever in your mind, that’s completely fine. Let go of this atattchment you have to time.
So what if the meal took a year to reach your table? 2 years? 3 years? 4 years? 5 years? Has all that time passed since you’re reading this? Awesome! So why are you still focused on it?
All the time you’ve spent shifting, you will get back and more once you start shifting. 2 years? You gain it back. 3 years? Back into your hand it goes. 4 years? There it is again. 5 years? You got it back.
Focus on the now; sit at the restaurant, enjoy the live music, talk to other patrons, flip through the menu and browse because maybe you want to change your meal or try an appetiser.
“Changing the meal (my DR) means it’s going to take even longer!”
Who told you that? I don’t know what kind of cooking you guys are doing IRL, but afaik, if the stove is already on and the pan is warm, searing that stake is going to be just as quick.
“Clover, but you just implied that arguing with the chef messes with your meal!”
Arguing with the chef (your subconscious) is very different from politely poking your head through the kitchen doors and informing him that you want a different meal.
“But how do I focus on my DR?”
I love this question! When you’re sitting at the table, expecting your meal, what are you doing? You’re probably thinking about your food—imagining the flavors, the texture, the sensations of eating it, the satisfaction of finally having it. That’s how you focus on your DR.
When you’re laying there doing your shifting process, think about what it feels like to be in your DR. Use your senses. Imagine the smells, the sounds, the things you’d touch, the things you’d hear. Visualize, ground yourself, and do what feels natural for you. There’s no right or wrong way to focus—just let yourself become immersed in the idea of your DR and trust it’s coming to you.
What you need to do is simple: select your meal, sit down, and know that it’s coming. I’m not even telling you to wait for it—just know that it’s already on its way. The moment you ordered, it became yours. That’s all there is to it.
#reality shifting#shifting#shifting community#shifting blog#shifting motivation#shifting reality#permashifting#shifting methods#shifting success#shiftblr#shifting antis dni#shifters#shifting storytime#shifting tips#respawning
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HI IM ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT MADE THE CALEB TIMELINE ON BOTH TUMBLR AND TWITTER (hi yes am artsyririblobbu) MY SISTER IS THE OTHER! ME AND SOME FRIENDS GONNA TRY DOING A RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE FOR THE OTHER BOYS (XAVIER, ZAYNE, RAFAYEL, SYLUS) BUT FIRST I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!
Currently, we are assuming most limited banners and events after the initial debut of each Love Interest are chronologically released in-game (meaning development becomes linear from the first limited banner each boy gets). The only thing that ISN'T already in chronological order in-game are the Myths, Tender Moments, and the cards on the Perma Banner.
Also, Tender Moments are so... SO HARD TO PLACE IN A TIMELINE. Some Tender Moments are very obviously connected to certain cards, but placement can easily become confusing because of how vague the time passed is. For example, it's implied one of Xavier's most recent 4* cards with him talking to the little astronaut in the window is DIRECTLY BEFORE 21 DAYS. THE KISS CARD? YEAH... THAT'S NOT CHRONOLOGICAL, LIKE AT ALL—
Zayne and Rafayel's Myths in particular can also become confusing to place because we are still unsure if Master of Fate and Foreseer are simply alternate universes in the same way Dawnbreaker is and we also don't know if Rafayel's Abysswalker is... well, we don't know where Abysswalker is period. His is the most confusing of Myths in terms of placement.
The reason I made Caleb's timeline was because there was a very clear progression from after the Main Story to you and him becoming actual love interests, and it was actually SUPER DETRIMENTAL to his character to have the cards be read in order. I suspect it'll be about the same challenge level to tackle Sylus' timeline, with the only real challenge being the Tender Moments.
However, Xavier, Zayne, and Rafayel will be the HARDEST to make relationship development timelines for solely because of how wishy-washy everything is. With this in mind!!
With this in mind, we have some options!
Only focus on the Memoria (5* memories) + Bond + Anecdotes. Any Tender Moments (4* memories) that already have strong connections to a Memoria or are very clear as to the (general) placement on the timeline will be added. With this option, some Tender Moments will inevitably be left out and placed into "The Time Break", where you can sort of just read them at any time and still enjoy it.
Focus on as much as possible, and try to sort out all the Tender Moments into linear timeline that me and my friends think makes the most sense. This will result in a very opinionated timeline based on where we think the Tender Moments are placed linearly in terms of the love interest's relationship with the character. Because y'know, sorting out the Tender Moments is like trying to solve the FNaF Timeline.
And for simplicity's sake, until further notice, we can TRY to fit in Main Story, but if we start updating the timeline, we may need to omit it. This is because we don't really have a proper gauge of how the relationship between you and your designated Love Interest will be reflected in the Main Story, and if it will be reflected at all.
Okay, TL;DR, you have two options:
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#l&ds#caleb#xavier#rafayel#sylus#zayne#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace zayne
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Hello! When your time allows, may I request: A series of written 'friendly reminders' by Lucanis to the rest of the Veilguard on what they should and should not do in the kitchen. (i.e do not wash the cast iron, do not put out grease fires with water, do not let Assan into the pantry unsupervised, do not let Manfred climb into the oven, any others etc) Thank you for your consideration :3 (bonus points if the notes successively get more agitated in tone or are directed towards specific people)
Ding Dong, Antivan Postal Service with a special delivery.
It's more like an open letter to the team this time. And I hope you are ok with how it turned out. Enjoy!
Transcript:
To whom it may concern. That means everybody at the Lighthose! I kindly ask you to (in no particular order):
Put things back to the spot where you took them from (I use to have a system designed for efficiency)
Don’t throw away the used coffee grounds. (They are natural fertilizer for Harding’s plants. Collect in the pot next to the coffee station)
Don’t let Assan roam free in the kitchen.
In fact, don’t let Assan into the kitchen at all.
Same goes for Manfred. (Not for hygienical reasons, but we don’t want him to climb into the kindled oven again)
Don’t leave mushy, half rotten fruits in the baskets if you happen to find one (Fruit flies are a menace to get rid of)
Don’t leave food uncovered (same reason)
Don’t cut meats on the vegetable board and vice versa (Out of respect for Emmrich and because its gross and unhygienic) The boards are labeled!
You are very welcome to drop by and study, discuss and write at the kitchen table (as long as you don’t leave and forget your things there. Looking at you Bel and Emmrich)
May I suggest, that we agree on storing the new bought goods BEHIND the ones we already have in the pantry? Otherwise the older things will never be used and it would be a shame to waste good food
We don’t make out in the kitchen! (Looking at you, Taash and Harding! Give a man some peace, I beg you!)
No mixing poisons in the kitchen! (It’s an honorable craft, but please, Rook, just don’t)
Carving is a fine hobby, but please clean up after yourself (That means you, Davrin)
Yes, my kitchen knives ARE sharp. Always! I tend to them. You don’t have to test before using them. You’ll end up hurting yourself.
On the same note: Don’t throw used knives into the sink with soapy water. Remember they are sharp and you can’t see them under the foam. You’ll get hurt.
I appreciate your help, Taash, but please refrain from kindling the fires like this… (you know what I mean…)
Wash your hands after chopping Chillies. Especially BEFORE using the BATHROOM. (I will explain if I must, but try to use your imagination before asking.)
It is never a good idea, to pour water into hot oil. (Ask Harding, she knows!)
Never cook bacon naked. (1. For obvious reasons 2.The flaming hot grease drizzles might seriously hurt you)
The RED cloth is for drying dishes
The GREEN cloth is for drying fruit and vegetables (you wash your fruits and vegs before eating and cooking them, right? RIGHT?)
The BLUE cloth is for cleaning surfaces.
DON’T MIX THOSE CLOTHS!
Don’t eat anything that has grown a white or green fur! (That goes for you, too, Rook! No discussion about toxins and immunity.)
Cookie dough and cake batter is not a treat. Don’t eat it raw. You will end up sick. Wait for the baked goods. (Looking at you, Bellara, Neve, Harding and Rook!)
I noticed, some of you use the same oil for everything. Don’t do that. You can’t heat the Antivan cold pressed extra virgin olive oil the way you need in order to grill meat or fry chips. I will label the oil-carafes accordingly.
Thank you! Sincerely, your friend - Lucanis
Read the other letters here
#Lucanis Dellamorte#The Veilguard#The Veilguard Team#Rook#Taash#Lace Harding#Emmrich Volkarin#Davrin#Neve Gallus#Bellara Lutare#assan the griffon#manfred the skeleton#Dragon Age the Veilguard#Antivan Postal Service#Letters from the Crows#Letters for the crows#letterbox game
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How does tarot work?
Tarot can reveal hidden influences shaping your life—things you may not even be aware of, like subconscious beliefs, fears, or past experiences that still affect your decisions. On a deeper level, it can connect you to your soul’s purpose—revealing your strengths, potential, and the life paths that are most aligned with your true essence.
It is a tool that allows me to read more than just your past and future. And all through what? Your present energy. Who you are today. What you identify with. Your habits. Your thoughts and feelings.
Many people misunderstand tarot, especially when they receive a reading they don’t like. If something undesirable shows up in a reading, does that mean you’re doomed? That you have no control and just have to accept it? Absolutely not.
In essence, tarot is a mirror reflecting not just where you are but who you are. It doesn’t just predict your future—it helps you understand why things are happening, what role you play in them, and how you can consciously create the life you desire.
The future is not set in stone.
When I read your cards, I am reading the future that is most aligned with your present energy. This means that your current thoughts, emotions, and actions are creating a path toward a specific outcome. But here’s the key: energy is fluid. The future isn’t fixed—it shifts depending on who you are and what you do.
Let’s say you ask about a job opportunity, and the reading suggests you won’t get it. Instead of taking that as an inevitable fate, you can reflect: Am I truly prepared for this role? Am I embodying the version of myself that succeeds in this job? If not, you can start making changes—improving your skills, shifting your mindset, or even applying elsewhere—therefore aligning with a different, more favorable future.
Your energy dictates your trajectory. Change your energy, and you shift timelines.
You exist in Infinite possibilities.
We live in a reality where infinite versions of you already exist. Every choice you make, every belief you hold, and every action you take aligns you with a different version of yourself—each with its own future. Some versions of you are successful, confident, and abundant. Others may struggle, remain stagnant, or experience hardship.
Tarot simply reveals the path you're currently on. But you are the one who chooses who you want to be.
How fast does energy change? When should I get a reading?
Energy shifts at different speeds for everyone. Small changes in emotion or circumstance might cause a temporary shift, but deep, lasting energetic transformations take time. Just like breaking an old habit or forming a new one, energy needs time to settle into a new frequency.
That’s why I recommend checking your energy every two weeks to a month. This gives enough time for meaningful shifts to occur while ensuring you stay aligned with your goals.
Remember: tarot is not about predicting a fixed destiny. It’s about understanding your energy and consciously directing it toward the future you desire.
What version of yourself do you want to align with today?
-xoxo💋
#tarot#tarotblr#tarot blog#tarot blr#tarot meaning#tarot stuff#tarot guidance#tarot messages#tarot cards#tarot community#tarotista#tarot divination#divination#energy reading#tarot vibes#tarot questions#tarot asks#tarot advice#tarot spread#spiritual messages#spiritualgrowth#tarotcommunity#tarot reading#energy#always changing#hope you have a wonderful day#hope this helps#sending you love#thank you
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Dear Daddy Long Legs - Chapter 3
Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
Shorter chapter, however, I am also posting this on AO3 now as well. You can find it here.
TW: Mentions of death
First | Prev | Next
Chapter 3
The Board of Foundation at Wayne Enterprises is pleased to inform you that you have been awarded the ‘Jason Todd Memorial’ scholarship that provides full tuition for four years at Gotham University.
You stared at the acceptance letter, hands trembling as you tried to process the news. There was never a question as to whether you could get into Gotham University. You took the tests, wrote the essays, and nailed the interviews. They loved you, but not enough to waive the egregious tuition to attend their school.
You thumbed the paper. It was nice, hefty and stamped with black ink that displayed the Wayne Enterprises letterhead. You flipped it over to hold it against the sickly yellow light in your living room like a cashier would do with a counterfeit bill. This was too good to be true, but some small part of you wanted it to be real.
This scholarship hadn’t been listed when you applied, but it was possible they didn’t advertise it to the public.
The Jason Todd Memorial Foundation...
Who was Jason Todd?
You opened your phone to do a quick search. Jason Todd, once a young boy living in Park Row, was adopted by Bruce Wayne. He had nothing, until he suddenly found himself under the care of one of the richest men in Gotham. It would have been a touching story about the American Dream and how opportunities come to good people but given that the scholarship came from a memorial foundation, you assumed it didn’t have a happy ending.
You returned to the search to do some more digging. And… there it was.
The headline of the next article read: Wayne Son Killed in Terrorist Attack Abroad. Two years after he was adopted. “Shit,” you breathed as you swiped out of the article before you made yourself too sad. A beloved son killed too soon. A scholarship in his honor. It seemed legit, but you were still skeptical. Why wouldn’t they list it on their website? You turned your attention back to the letter.
By accepting this scholarship, you will agree to send written letters regarding your studies on a bi-weekly basis to Bruce Wayne, founder and owner of Wayne Enterprises, so that he may monitor your progress. Failure to comply will result in…
You chewed the inside of your cheek. That was a lot to process. It was hard to believe that the Bruce Wayne gave a shit about my education. He had better things to do like whoring around galas or adopting poor kids off the street… apparently. Someone had to be fucking with you, and you didn’t appreciate it.
The letter had a number to contact their offices at the bottom, so you did just that. Your phone rang twice before it flipped to an automated message.
“Hello and thank you for calling the Wayne Enterprises Foundation office. We’re happy to answer any question you might have regarding your scholarship or any donations you might be—”
You hung up before the cheery voice could finish, heart thundering against your ribcage. So, they used the real extension for the office. That didn’t mean anything. Anyone could have knabbed it. If you had stayed on the line a little longer, someone could have confirmed what you already suspected.
And yet, you hung up.
Because you didn’t want it to be confirmed. You wanted to sit with the delusion a while longer before reality came crashing back down.
You glanced back at your bookshelf where a small collection of second-hand novels filled the shelves. Among them was a well-worn copy of Daddy Long Legs, its green hard-bound cover fraying at the edges. You had read it so many times that the spine nearly split in two.
A rich philanthropist funding a poor girl’s education… The irony wrote itself, but it failed to sweeten the bitter taste in your mouth.
You read the letter once more, hoping to glean something more from its contents, but you had exhausted its usefulness. Wayne wanted you to write letters. They even included an address to send them to. Emails would have been easier. Or a paper at the end of each semester. Or…
God, help you.
Trying to find logic in a rich person’s motives was exhausting.
The longer you sat with the letter, the easier it was to stomach. Rich people were weird. They made odd choices all the time. You could handle a few letters over the next four years. Besides, there was a stark difference between you and Jerusha Abbott. She fell in love with her benefactor. You would not.
You laughed at the prospect. No—you would never fall in love with a man like Bruce Wayne. While he was never rude to you or your coworkers, you suspected it was an act. Masks weren’t just for the vigilantes. They could be honed of flesh. Wayne had crafted a near-perfect representation of what society expected of him.
He fooled the masses, but you noticed things others liked to ignore. It was the only way someone survived in this city. You were wary of him, of his generosity and this situation as a whole, but desperation snagged on your resolve.
An opportunity presented itself. If you turned it down, who knows when the next opportunity would present itself.
With Bruce Wayne funding your education, there was no allure, no mystery, no chance you'd ever fall in love with him. This was a business exchange, nothing more. You could live with that, even if accepting his money made your skin crawl.
You redialed the number for the foundations office and followed the instructions until a more human voice greeted you. “Hello, thank you for calling the Wayne Enterprises Foundation, this is Rudy. How can I help you?”
“Hello, I just received a letter about my receipt of the Jason Todd Memorial Foundation. I was wondering what my next steps were?”
#writing#batman#jason todd#jason todd x reader#batfam#dear daddy long legs fic#red hood x reader#red hood#bruce wayne
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Would anyone read it if I started posting my Platonic Wrong Number No Capes Batfam (Jason and Tim) AU from AO3 on here? I just posted chapter 4 on AO3 today. I could also just… link it here or something instead of posting the actual individual chapters. Fair warning— they’re definitely OOC (at least I think they are, but people have commented otherwise?), and I only recently started writing it again after over a year hiatus
#dc#dc comics#tim drake#jason todd#batfam#ao3#ao3fic#ao3 author#batfam fanfic#tim drake fanfiction#jason todd fanfiction#Jason Todd and tim drake accidental brother acquisition#accidental brother fanfic#platonic wrong number AU#no capes au#I mean some of you may have already read it#it’s the only platonic wrong number AU I know of#so if that sounds familiar#anywhomst#if not then just ignore this I guess
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alrighty, here it is~
🩵 The Overmorrow playlist (on youtube) 🩵
The first 11 are songs that encapsulate the mood of the entire story and its overarching themes, mostly about Eph or literally from his pov (I’m on my hands and knees begging you to listen to King, The Next Right Thing, Quiet, and A Little Closer at the very least 🥺)
The 19 after those are various instrumental tracks I listened to while writing and editing to set ✨ the mood ✨ (I do this for all my fics), more or less in chronological order
And finally, once Overmorrow is finished…I’ll add some bonus songs 😃
Hopefully I’ll be able to host this in a better place suited for music (with no ads!) later on, but this’ll do for now. I really hope you like it!!
#overmorrow#my fics#my posts#going off on a tangent here in the notes bc I have SO MANY THOUGHTS#you may notice that a lot of the instrumental tracks have titles that really suit the events of overmorrow :)#ofc this is mostly bc I took inspo from the stories they belong to#as I mentioned in the concept document; rwby vol 9 had a lot of influence so there are a handful of great tracks (and parallels) from there#the rest are all tracks I already really loved beforehand; some of them I’ve loved for over a decade now (lookin at you One Summer’s Day)#though the one track that /really/ hit me was Same Sky Different World (from cloy; fav k-drama ♡)#like what do you MEAN it’s thematically relevant to overmorrow; kh in general and a super great track I already loved beforehand??#talk about a triple whammy………#anyway music is wonderful and I enjoy it#and I love ephemera so so so so much 😭#okay that’s it!#if you read all of this ily 💕#overmorrow misc#overmorrow tfs
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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🥀💌🕯️💀 <33
*old person yells at cloud* THEORY TIME <3 but i was thinking of the skill trees screens we’ve seen so far and i am like…… super certain that ingellvar is the mourners surname and soo that calls for an update to irulannes pin interest board <33
(ill cry change it if it isn’t though but hehe anyway im stoked to at last have a surname for when i save her edits bc rn her folder says i.datv xixjjxhx *WHEEZE* 💀)
#leg.txt#it fits so well it fits so welllll irulanne ingellvar you’ll always be loved by MEEE#the icon looks suuuper like some of the dead in the necropolis in one of the concept arts so i am thinking its them??#thinking about her story a lot lately I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN SOO BAD 🥀🤧#im thinking she was found by the sisters raised up right adopted a surname (mayb from a mentor or ‘mother’ of sorts??)#raised up as she was to be arcane advisor/mistress mother to a mage heir bc they want a mage on a throne one way or another or both etc etc#like i mean that could make sense for her i think?? its not TECHNICALLY her name yk iru didn’t actually have a first name either#its what they gave her? AT LEAST THATS WHAT SHE WAS TOLD bc hehe the blood magic in the ritual#did a wee more than just what’s happening now from what happened in the trailer hehe#it also lifted a wee little spell they did on her that wiped all of her memories from before she met the sisters 🥀👁️#there may be some vengeance from robbing her of her life she may drag her lovie l*ucanis on who’s to say HEHE#something something she had her own kingdom already as she was a sort of spymaster w/ the dead using deceased birds to watch for hot gossip#a prodigy at a young age she was <3 she may have been an advisor anyway even without the sisters influence yk#ughh i want to develop the sisters and irulannes pre v*eilguard lore soooo bad now EEEK.#i am getting my wisdom teeth out next week so i think it’ll be the prime time to do that i think 🥀💌#anyway time to finish those asks ughh they’re the funnest as always if you read all of this moots i am baking you cookies <3#i think word is that thorne is the wardens and it does look like it i would say too?#i think for cassia she had to have got that from someone maybe to hide her identity or something#she’s either the result of a princess of the a*nderfels having a tryst with n*athaniel or l*oghain i haven’t decided 🥀👁️
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I made a boo oc!! I'll make more drawings to use them for when I start making "serious" YouTube videos :3
#mayodraws#dont really know what else to tag so#TIME FOR RAMBLING WOOHOO#im thinking of just getting rid of the name Mayo tbh#ive grown sick of it#honestly might just stick to my real name for everything atp#i use it for the entirety of discord now so 💀#i just feel like its not me if its not my actual name#its like its a separate identity of myself even if im the same person you know?#i like feeling that i am me even through a screen i am still me and not some offbrand representation of myself#so hey everyone my name is Hailey :3 feel free to call me that#soon enough ill change all my socials or the ones I actually use to be some form of 'Hailstorm' because it sounds cool imo#and its a nickname my sister gave me so it also means something special to me <3#should I have made a separate post for this? yes#is it too late? also yes#since im in a ramble session i may as well say more on my mind#im in a server for discord and i so badly have been trying to become friends with people there but holy shit even after like 2 months#i still cant gather courage to speak most of the time#hopefully ill open up more soon but man i need to just not be so shy 😭#are you having fun reading through the tags 💀💀#i would be surprised of anyone actually read all if them#if you did i hope you have a wonderful day 👍👍#also Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its Christmas totally#back onto the youtuve thing most of my videos are just shit like “toad screaming” or editing zelda cutscenes but at some point i want to#make scripted videos for nintendo related stuff#i already finished a script for ttyd and i know its not the best script but for being my first its good enough and ill learn along the way#okay im done yapping Happy St Patrick's Day
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Me work-shopping my fanfic idea: What if Nina went though the portal at the end of season two, and instead of season three, grief stricken Sibuna gets messages from her in their dreams asking for their help to return to the land of the living? And they're not sure if it's even her or not. Yes, I am a genius for coming up with this totally original idea that's never been done before, at least in this fandom.
The heartbeats of my abandoned and published WIPs: Trapped in a Dream by artsoccer on fanfiction.net. Summary is, and I quote:
"On the way over to England the plane Nina and Eddie are riding on explodes. No one on board survives. Upon finding out, Sibuna has to struggle through the four stages of grief. Amber, Fabian, and Patricia start getting strange dreams detailing Nina and Eddie. Are these just grief spawned dreams, or something more?"
Me with my fingers in my ears: LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
The heartbeats of my abandoned and published WIPs/My Inner Critic: I wonder who that artsoccer is? I mean, your original tumblr url was artsoccer, and it's still the title of your blog... Such a mystery.
Are you sure this isn't just Trapped in a Dream 2.0? But with eight years improvement in writing skill?
Me who can't drown them out anymore: They have different plots! For one thing, this one is just Nina, and not both Nina and Eddie. For another thing this is less exploration of grief, and more taking a lot of inspiration from the "Song of Dreams"
My Inner Critic: Ah, so this is less original, got it.
Me who's getting fed up at this point: Shut up and let me write the damn thing. It's been years since I wrote anything other than a one-shot. Let me have this.
The asshole inside my head: It's been a year since your last proper one-shot, too. And if you're that determined to write this, why aren't you writing the fanfic instead of this text post?
Me who thought writing this out would be funny: shut up
#house of anubis#fanfiction#self callout#actually i should be going to bed instead of writing this text post because i have work stupid early in the morning#this post seemed like a fun idea in my head#but now that i've written it out i'm having second thoughts about posting it#if you can read this you know i decided to post it#if i post this am i legally obligated to actually write the fanfiction?#because i don't know if i can actually commit to that#on the other hand have the people on the internet expecting the story would provide some much needed accountability/motivation#not that that's stopped me from abandoning most of my fics#but if i commit to writing the whole thing first... people may actually forget i promised to write it by the time i finish it#i mean i already made a meme about this fic idea that feels like commitment#i've never made a meme over a fanfic before#though it was a meme about a problem i ran into while trying to write it so that might actually count as an excuse to not write it...#i should really go to bed
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Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now
ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop
Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?
Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters
#also i did a quick wiki check for one thing and basically confirmed that i was right about this entire arc so i win i guess 💪💪💪💪#like “the amazons are starting some crazy murder shit!” are they really now. which amazons may i ask? are you sure its not the bana-#oh yep its the baba mighdall. well then. TOTALLY didnt see this coming (said w love)#i mean its like maybe im being perceptive but they literally showed two of them in their armor and had one say phthia aka one of the#founders of the bana. like okay i had to do a wiki to check that and obvi id know slightly more than a pérez run reader abt them#(but not much honestly ive read the same stuff they wouldve just plus some fandom osmosis/knowing who artemis is) but i digress. do think he#maybe could have put showing them off but i understand the motive of not wanting readers to go months thinking the amazons were chopping#ppls heads off. but they could have teased the mind control red herring (probably? think it was a red herring although it could pop back up#the arc is still ongoing) a little bit more considering weve had dr psycho starting shit for the past 4 (at LEAST) issues but well whatever#anyways the pencilling on this one needed help like its not even a coloring issue at the core of it its legit this guest guy drawing#totally different people... very lame#anyways maybe im too quick to blame it all on the bana i am only halfway through the arc#like i do think it is the bana. i think thats the answer. but again dr psycho IS causing problems and theres been hints of the cheetah being#involved (“animal attack” killings + a shot of her in arkham) AND circe was namedropped (although now we know it was dr psycho) but im still#slightly suspicious bc there seems to be possesed animals... like they are v much laying different hints and pathways here#but i think its the bana. i think its psycho fucking around and also the bana and MAYBE a psycho controlled cheetah or the bana mimicing her#patterns. or are the bana even there if psychos involved??? he could just be fucking around then- okay you know what. maybe im less sure of#this than i thought and should just read more. wait but how would psycho even know about the bana to have ppl hallucinate hed just use the#themyscirans-- okay i need to read more im getting distracted. the bana are definitely involved though im calling it. its them and maybe#psycho. and maybe cheetah. and maybe circe but likely not bc we already established that was a false lead. unless that was also a trick. and#WHAT ABT ARES ALL THE STOLEN ARTIFACTS HAD TO DO WITH WAR--#.... guys im losing it. fuck it im saying its all giganta and calling it a day i cant do this#no but i love how this mystery is set up its like they just dropped clues for every single ww villain onto it and said “here. good luck.”#this is before the big ww crossover too so it could actually be all of them im losing my mind here. WHO IS IT#ive twisted myself in a circle here i dont know anything now. only that i did call it if it was the bana. or if theres mind control or smth#sus about heracles cup. i also called that although its seeming less and less likely now that the bana and psycho are likely involved. and#maybe cheetah. and circe. and ares. guys im falling apart here#what was the point of this post then? oh shitty guest pencilling and editor flops. the editor flop part i can understand im sure they were#busy even if this is a big thing to miss imo. the penciller though is just silly come on now. someone should have caught that. anyways--#swishy liveblogs
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