#I love how the episode started with them playing strip poker | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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And now I’ve watched episode 3 of Walker because of reasons. (You guys asked, that’s reasons.) #2

If you guys haven’t seen part 1, go see it immediately. Because of reasons. This time, reasons is Slutty Glitter Cowboy Stripper. No, it’s not a joke.

Yeah, I’m not sure what’s happening either.

I can’t believe they’re airing cowboy strippers in Supernatural’s air slot and Dean Winchester isn’t there. I think this is why they had to kill Dean, because otherwise he would have ripped through the CW’s show layout and appeared in Walker sponteneously, instantly adopting Walker’s entire family and friends as his own and single-handedly implementing the depolicement of the state of Texas, with Castiel rolling his eyes at him in the background while he murders ICE agents at the US-Mexican border.

*slides the CW a twenty euro bill* so I have an idea for season 2 of Walker

Anyway, there’s this lady Walker and Ramirez are doing a stakeout on, a woman called Torreto who is presumably part of some criminal organization since they’re doing a stakeout on her, and who’s bisexual given she was being entertained by a lady and a guy at a strip club. Which is like, fine, not problematic at all, alright.

So the stripper straddles her and is like ~wanna come with me in the back, and she’s like ~maybe another time, and he’s like ~torreto i saw cops outside you probably wanna come to the back with me, and she’s like ~mmm yeah that sounds like a good idea. We were rooting for you, slutty glitter cowboy stripper! We were all rooting for you! Or not.

Meanwhile, Walker has horrible car manners.

Also, he asks her how her parents were to her growing up, which is a question you normally ask to people you’re not close to when you want to do some small talk. For some reason she brings up a friend she had some ~crazy teen years~ with, called Garrison, which doesn’t make me think of angels in Supernatural, no, I am a normal person.

But then people start coming out of the strip club, but not Torreto. So they go in.

Torreto is not there, so Walker just stops the first person he sees and he’s literally like ~excuse me, do you know if there’s someone in the back. The visual is hilarious

“Excuse me, sir, have you seen my brother from another show, I suspect he might be here”

Give me a spinoff about this strip club.

Anyway, the guys answers, “No, why, you two interested?” to which they immediately answer “no!” at the same time, and share a look which makes me think we’re supposed to be like ~~ooh, talking in unison moment! or something...?

Meanwhile their truck gets stolen, and Walker yells that his bobblehead is in there. Cue disgruntled Jared face.

Oh man. We are at the title card. It’s less than 6 minutes. This will never end.

It was night, now it’s day, and Stella and August are walking around Austin. He’s mimicking David Attenborough, describing the teenagers around them as though he was doing a documentary about animals.

Two girls approach them, bringing up a party that’s taking place tomorrow. She says it’s not the best idea with her court date approaching. The girls are like, your dad can figure something out, he’s an elite ranger or something and also owes you for disappearing for a year. She’s like, he’s being kind of cool, I don’t want to ruin this, and the girls “call BS” because this is like “the best party of the year”.

Ruby, the girl August has been hanging out with, appears and August goes from “nah the party is not my thing” to “I’ll totally be there” in like 0.02 seconds.

I cannot overstate how much I am not interested in high schooler drama.

Meanwhile, at the Walker Seniors’ place, Walker’s parents are preparing the table for a family dinner. From their banter we can infer someone’s who ~is like family although he isn’t “blood”~ is coming for dinner and Grandpa Walker doesn’t like him at all and actually expects the guy to steal their china and bourbon. “It’s been years, could you please give him a chance?” Grandma Walker says, and he accepts, although she grabs the fancy bourbon from behind his back.

Meanwhile, at the police station, all the cops are having a briefing about Torreto, the woman at the strip club. She apparently steals weapons all over Texas and sells them over the border at triple the cost. Remember that Torreto escaped from Walker and Ramirez because she stole their truck while they were inside the strip club. Ramirez is worried she’ll already become the laughingstock of the precinct.

Uh. James plays security camera footage from outside the strip club. Walker and Ramirez’ truck was stolen by Torreto and the cowboy stripper himself.

Obviously the other cops laugh when Ramirez admits it was her truck.

James tells them to find Torreto, find the truck, and find out who the naked cowboy is.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Then Walker drives home, and as soon as he gets out of his car, you know how in the Supernatural pilot Dean gets into Sam’s apartment and wrestles him before revealing it’s him to ~test if his fighting skills are rusty and laughs when Sam realizes it’s him? Alright, now think intensely and guess how Walker’s like-a-brother best friend is introduced. Think intensely! It’s really difficult to guess!

Something something about violence and male intimacy except this is too ridiculous to, you know, write something serious about it.

“Oh, man!” the guy laughs, lying on the ground where Walker threw him. “The look on your face!”

“You son of a-”

“Oh, c’mon man, don’t talk bad of a mother I never knew.”

I’m facepalming soooo hard. This is the first thing we learn about him (well, after the fact that he definitely stole something from the Walkers’ house in the past), that he never knew his mother!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

I AM SO SORRY

I am faceblind I didn’t realize

THE GUY IS THE STRIPPER

I REPEAT

THE “DEAN BUT IN JARED PADALECKI’S MIND” CHARACTER IS THE SLUTTY GLITTER COWBOY STRIPPER

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I SWEAR MY HANDS ARE COLD AND CLAMMY

I AM EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS NO WORDS EXIST IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO DESCRIBE

Oh my god guys. I am so sorry.

“You did your touchdown victory dance before you stole my partner’s truck!” Walker exclaims. “I should arrest you right here and right now!”

The guy acts like he has no idea what Walker is talking about, and says he’s in town to see his best pal.

Walker keeps accusing him, but then his mother appears, super thrilled to see him, and Walker lets is go.

They’re at dinner (NotDean brought wagyu steaks, which obviously means he does crime for a living) and Walker’s mother tells him to say grace, which he does in a semi-serious, semi-mocking way. Obviously NotDean does not believe in god, but he’s grateful for the people around him.

Stella calls him uncle, in case you missed that this is supposed to be a friend whom Walker loves likeabrother.

He talks about jobs he did here and there, and Walker and his brother tease him asking if he’s been to some prisons around the country. Stella doesn’t get the joke and NotDean explains it to her, adding, “now, from what I hear, I’m not the only outlaw in this family”. Grandpa Walker leaves the room.

NotDean asks Stella if she’s going to the bonfire (the party they were talking about earlier) and tells her that her mother started the thing when they were young. She didn’t know that. This is supposed to be a Meaningful moment.

Meanwhile the stolen truck is found... at Walker’s ranch. Gasp! What a shocking turn of events.

NotDean gives Stella advice on how to act in court to get on the judge’s good graces, “which means acting”. “Please don’t get legal advice from a criminal” walker’s brother Liam says. Is the gay brother also a NotDean of sorts, to be fair? Well, CriminalNotDean tells her to dress her best and cry. ActualbrotherNotDean tells her to use the correct legal arguments. Walker just stops them, quoting something Ramirez said earlier in the episode, “nobody benefits from the easy route”. Stella is like, what does that mean, which, mood, but Grandma Walker interrupts bringing in a plate of different hot chilis. Apparently they have a tradition of a competition. Which we don’t even see. Boo.

Ramirez finds the truck... right outside the Walkers’ house. Grandpa Walker, who’d gone outside, points a rifle to her and she explains what she’s doing there. They introduce themselves and she is like, sir why is the man who stole my truck inside your house? “Wife invited him to dinner.”

She’s like, I need to arrest him. But he’s like, I bet there’s not enough evidence to arrest him, or my son would have done it. Join me for steak and burbon in the bunkhouse! As one does. So they have wagyu and bourbon together, and she asks him what’s the guy’s story.

So NotDean and Walker grew up together, NotDean had a rough life, “my wife has a soft spot for strays, she can’t give up on him”. But Grandpa Walker doesn’t feel the same. He tells her that she cannot arrest him tonight, but it’s only a matter of time before the guy gives her enough rope. He adds that Walker has a blind spot for faces from the past, and needs someone to fix that.

Meanwhile dinner’s over and NotDean calls a uber. He and Walker arrange to meet the next day and hang out like old times. Eventually, Walker tells him that if he is involved in this case, he will have to take him down. “Theoretically, if you catch me.” They do a manly hug with manly pats, and the guy leaves. “Theoretically, go to hell,” Walker says after he’s left.

The next day, NotDean brings Walker to a storage in the middle of nowhere... full of cursed objects, no wait, wrong show. What’s inside the storage is the red Mustang. Walker is shocked that he hasn’t lost it in some bet - which apparently is how he got the car from Walker in the first place. Now NotDean says that, after everything Walker’s been through, he deserves a chance to win it back.

Glowy flashback of Walker and his wife in the car, right after the scene in the beginning of the episode. They bet it during poker night, decision of Emily, because Walker is “starting to get attached to her”. Emily teases him for calling the car a she, and Walker decides to call the car Stella.

They gave their daughter the name of a car they lost at poker.

Oh. She tells him she’s pregnant.

So, apparently, they had their first daughter when they were broke, to the point they had to try and get money at poker for a bigger place and baby things. That’s... kind of irresponsible.

Meamwhile, Ramirez goes to James to tell him about the thing, but James already figured NotDean was involved, because apparently stealing things and returning them is just something he does. “Why are you so calm about this?” she asks. He says because they cannot pin anything on him. Questioning him could scare the big crime lady. So he tells her to just keep an eye on him. “Walker, Torreto or Hoyt [NotDean]” she asks. “Yes” he answers.

Blah blah. I apologize, I’m being too detailed. I’m just bored by this. Ah, a butcher’s truck was stolen right after the strip club thing, guess where NotDean got the wagyu steaks.

Walker and NotDean go to the bar with the bartender who’s their friend, and NotDean flirts with her. They start playing poker, when Ramirez arrives, and has some banter with NotDean and spills some glitter on him that she found in the truck. He buys her a drink and she arrests him for trying to bribe a police officer. Walker is shocked.

At the precinct, he says they cannot prove he’s working with big crime lady. But she brings up he stole the wagyu steaks.

She calls him out for trying to be everyone’s friend even if they do something wrong, also with Stella.

She says she can hold NotDean for 24 hours, long enough to figure out the big crime lady’s plans. Common trope in cop shows. Arrest someone without proof, you have to release them after 24 hours, but the cop finds proof and bam, forgiven for arresting someone without proof.

I know you’re bored, I’m bored too.

Actually, nope, it goes differently and kind of worse. In the interrogation room, Ramirez offers NotDean a deal: he tells her where the big crime lady’s weapon deal is happening, and walks free. He points the location on a map and he compliments her. Walker is watching from the cameras and is shook.

Meanwhile the bonfire is happening, and Stella is there with her girl friends. So is August, breakdancing to impress girls. We don’t care.

Meanwhile, a lot of cops in serious cop gear surround the location NotDean pointed at. Nobody’s there, though.

What is there, is the red Mustang with the creepy bobblehead in it and a letter from NotDean that says he gives him the car back because it was always his wife’s.

Walker figures out where the deal is actually happening - the storage where the red Mustang was before.

Meanwhile, at the bonfire, August is drunk on booze he stole from Grandpa Walker and brought to the party. He asks Stella if she’s trying to drive their father away, breaking the law and all, he asks if she wants him to leave again. Then he throws up. She calls Walker but he obviously doesn’t answer. So she calls her uncle, who’s doing shopping with his partner or something. They’re buying cake? Doing cake testing for their wedding? Maybe.

Meanwhile, NotDean calls Grandma Walker to tell her he cannot go mushroom hunting with her tomorrow but needs to leave town, and he’s sorry to let her down again. She tells him that just because his family’s bad, doesn’t mean he is too. “You saved my boy, and I’ll never forget that” she says. Oooh, that’s so intriguing!, nobody says. They share a cute moment and then he hangs up, while the weapon deal goes down around him.

Uncle Liam and his partner pick up the kids, and Stella asks him if he’ll be in court with her tomorrow. He says he can’t, because it’s her father’s decision to make.

August turns up music and they all sing in the car. It’s funny how everyone’s got better chemistry with everyone else except with Walker. I know it’s, like, on purpose for plot reasons, but still, Walker’s interactions with everyone feel so stilted compared to anyone else. And it’s not the other characters are that compelling.

The police arrives at the location of the weapon deal, and NotDean gets arrested trying to steal the truck again. Ramirez gives a speech how that’s hard but it’s the right thing to do. Walker makes a comment about tough love, implying Stella needs to get that too.

The next day, they leave for Stella’s court thing on the red Mustang. It took Walker three episodes, but now they also have a cool classic car to show off! Yay! *eyeroll*

Meanwhile, Grandma Walker and Grandpa Walker have a conversation about their failing marriage or something.

Ramirez goes to the bar to apologize to the bartender for arresting NotDean. They have a drink together and if lesbians were watching this they’d start shipping them, but no lesbians are watching this. They’re wiser than me.

Stella got like a gazillion hours of community service and her license suspended. She’s upset, but since she has her license for one more day he teaches her how to drive the Mustang.

Wait. Americans don’t learn to drive normal cars when they get their license?? They only learn to drive cars with automatic gear?? What the hell??

They drive while August runs after the car to get over his hangover or something.

Would be a cute moment if the entire thing wasn’t so cheesy and weird.

Well. We know NotDean is a recurring role so we’ll see more of him. (Well, I’m not sure I will be there to watch, because this is boring af.)

This episode used all its interest coins in the strip club scene and then became dreadfully boring. I don’t even have some witty line to close this post.

This was a rollercoaster that went my brain go through a blender in the first six minutes or so and then killed the remaining braincells through boredom.

That’s it guys. What can I say. This is the CW’s Walker. Yee.

#marghe watches walker for some darned reason #cw's jared: legit texan

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years

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Jealousy

MASTERLIST

I wrote this fic AGES ago back when I first watched the season 14 finale, but for some reason its been sitting on the back burner as I wasn’t quite happy with it. But anyway, now it’s finally seeing the light of day and was heavily inspired by the poker game at the beginning of the episode, as you can probably tell by tge gif. I hope you enjoy some more Spencer feels.

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: Mature (smut)

Word Count: 2,913

“Pair of kings, pair of sevens. Oh I’m sorry, three sevens.”

Everyone groaned, throwing down their cards as they surrendered to the normality of Dr. Spencer Reid winning another hand of poker.

It was after hours at the BAU and a few of you decided to unwind in the briefing room by playing poker. So far, Spencer had won every round. But the night was early and you all were only a few hands in.

“I wanna know how Y/N was taught by you, yet still can’t beat you.” Luke shook his head.

“Sorry, but the brains also helps with the wins,” Spencer chuckled.

You mock scowled, before laughing yourself. Not long ago you’d asked Dr. Reid to teach you how to play poker since he was the best and you had zero knowledge of the game. That and it was a good excuse to spend time with him since you’d been harboring a crush on him.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I am determined to beat Spence,” JJ grinned.

“Oh, I'd love to see the lady try,” he smirked at her.

You felt a twinge of jealousy, probably irrationally so since it was obvious to you that he’d had a crush on JJ forever. You couldn’t blame him exactly; even if your best friend was married, she was still stunning.

“Let’s go then,” Luke said, dispersing new cards around the table.

•

“I’m all in,” Spencer said, pushing his candy towards the pile in the middle of the table.

You had to resist the urge to groan. Your hand of cards were absolute shit.

“I fold.” You put your cards down, thankful that you didn’t have anything to lose this hand.

“Same here,” Luke said, tossing his hand, “Hey Y/N maybe we should start the worst poker players club. You in?”

You laughed, pushing your hair back over your shoulder, “As long as I’m the president.”

“Deal.”

Across the table, you noticed Spencer’s eyes squint—like he did when he was analyzing something—as he watched the two of you. You weren’t exactly sure what that was about.

You watched as JJ pushed her pile of change and candy towards the pot.

“I’m all in.”

Spencer’s focus turned back to her as he made a tsking sound, while JJ flashed an innocent smile.

“Okay show us your cards,” Luke waved his hand, anxious to see who would win. You had to admit the suspense was killing you as well.

“Four of a kind!” Spencer beamed when his cards touched the table, showing his four 5’s.

Your and Luke’s head immediately swiveled the opposite direction as JJ set her cards down with a flourish. It was a straight flush.

Luke whooped and your jaw dropped. Spencer was speechless.

“No. Way.” You said, in awe, watching JJ pull all her earnings towards herself.

“It finally happened!” Luke grinned, high fiving you, “I owe you 20 bucks Y/N.”

“You guys bet on me losing?!”

“It had to happen sometime Spencer,” you said.

“Come on, it’s my turn to beat the doc,” Luke said, reaching for the cards to shuffle again.

“Okay one more hand and I gotta go. I promised Garcia I’d be home before it got too late. Hopefully the boys aren’t driving her crazy,” JJ said reaching for her new cards.

“Oh please, you know she loves them,” you grin.

You pick up your cards, pretending to sneak a peek at Luke’s cards.

“Hey, no peeping!” he laughed, trying to move them out of your sight, making you try to lean further over to see.

“I’m just trying to see if the Vice President of the Worst Poker Players club has a chance,” you smirked at him.

“You madam President are too nosy for your own good,” Luke grins.

“Can we just get on with the game?” Spencer retorted, his voice unnaturally harsh.

Your gaze shot to Spencer, shocked to hear the sharp tone in his voice. You very rarely ever saw him mad or even irritable for that matter.

“Uh, sure,” you said, going first, placing your bet.

A few minutes after everyone else placed their starting bets, Spencer challenges you, raising your bet, his glare fixed on you. You make yourself resist physically flinching. You have no idea why his mood had darkened so suddenly and only at you.

You glance at JJ to see if she’s noticed and she gives you a small shrug, just as baffled as you are. As your best friend, she of course knew about your feelings for him. She gives you a questioning look as if assessing if you’re okay. You give a quick nod and return to your cards, trying not to feel hurt. Tuning back into the game you notice Luke has folded, JJ soon follows. Before you know it, it’s just you against Spencer.

“Ah, teacher against student. The tension is real.” Luke drums his fingers against the table.

You set your hand down. It wasn’t the best, but you were hoping somehow Spencer would have a worse hand. No such luck. Once again, your jaw drops when you see his own straight flush spread out in front of him.

“Damnit,” you mumble.

“You’re never gonna beat me Y/N. I’d stop trying if I were you.”

This time you did flinch. Your brows furrow, irritated, both at him and the fact you can’t beat him.

“Hey, I did,” JJ pointed out as she stood to pull on her jacket, “I gotta run guys.”

“Yeah, me too,” Luke says, standing up and stretching, “Spence? Y/N?”

“No, I think I’m gonna stay a bit longer. I’m determined to beat him.”

“Good luck,” Luke said heading to the door.

See you guys Monday and hopefully not sooner!” He calls as he walks out of the room.

“Tell me how it turns out,” JJ says, giving you a look only another woman could decipher, clearing meaning she meant more than just the game.

After giving both of you hugs and saying goodbye once again, you and Spencer are settled back at the round table, ready for another game.

“Sure you’re up to this?” he smirked, looking you up and down.

“Yes.” Your tone is clipped, determined, “I was taught well you know.”

“It’s going to get boring winning hand after hand you know.”

“Fine. Then let’s make it interesting why don’t we?”

“I’m listening.” He sits back, clasping his hands behind his head, watching you.

“Strip poker. You know the rules. Losing hand removes an article of clothing.”

“You’re on.”

Half an hour later you’re sitting next to a pile of your belongings. Deciding to count accessories since you had on a lot less layers than he did, you had managed to already have removed your hair clip, watch, necklace and shoes. Spencer had only lost his watch. At least that was a small victory, your one win.

“One win out of five games. I’d say I’m impressed, but that’s a measly 5% of your wins in our total of games so far.”

Your eyes blazed and you glared at him.

“What’s your problem?”

He looked up at you, clearly taken aback. You stifle a snort, annoyed at the fact that he had the audacity to look surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not.” You look up from your cards to say something else, but he goes back to the game before you can ask any further questions.

“Damn,” he mutters, putting down his hand of random assorted cards.

Your face lights up and you slam down your three of a kind.

“Pay up. Something comes off.”

He shakes his head, pulling his tie off. Unfortunately for you, the next game isn’t in your favor and your shirt comes off, leaving you in just your bra and pants. You look up and deal to begin the next game, noticing his eyes suddenly are intensely focused on the tabletop.

You lay your head in your hand as you look at your cards before reaching from one for the deck, not noticing how the movement makes your breasts even more visible to him. What you do notice though is his slight shift in stance.

“So uh, you and Alvez huh?”

Now it was your turn to look startled.

“What about me and Luke?”

“I don’t- I just- I mean,” he cleared his throat trying to stop his stammering, “You guys just seem really friendly all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, we get along great. He’s a good friend.”

“Oh, I see.”

Suddenly it clicked.

“Why? Are you jealous?”

He doesn’t answer, just drops his hand on the table, the cards splayed out.

“Well, shit.”

“Another four of a kind.”

You sigh, standing up, unbuttoning your pants.

“This isn’t fair, you know,” you say, unzipping them.

You look over at him when you realize he hasn’t answered you and find his eyes on you, his tongue moving over his lips. Your stomach tightened, a sight you would never get over seeing. He did that single motion more times during a single case alone, than you could count.

You dropped your pants on the pile of your belongings, not exactly caring where it landed or the fact that you just happened to be half naked. It was like a magnetic force pulling you closer towards him. You drag your hand across the table as you approach him, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip. His eyes don’t leave you as you approach him, the game long forgotten.

“You were jealous. Weren’t you?” Your voice is barely a whisper as if you’re afraid that if you spoke the words too loud they wouldn’t be true.

Smoother than you thought he could be, he’d reached out for you and pulled you into his lap.

“Yes.”

Next thing you knew his hands are in your hair and his lips are on yours and you’re kissing him back with such intensity that you had to pull away after a moment, just to get air back to your lungs and clarity to your mind.

“But I thought you-”

“Liked JJ?”

“I, uh-” you momentarily blank on what you were saying as his hand moves up your arm and pulls one bra strap down, slowly.

“Yeah,” you finish.

“I did.” His lips met your shoulder, kissing it, “Until the day you walked through those doors.”

You felt your jaw slacken a bit as his lips traveled up your neck, stopping every few moments to suck on one spot or another. The realization had dawned on you that that specific event was more than six years ago.

“Oh,” you breathed, both in response to his confession and his gentle suckling.

His hands reached behind you and unfastened your bra in one swift movement.

“Why Dr. Reid aren’t you suave?”

He groaned, low in his throat. Whether it was because of the sight of your bare breasts or you calling him doctor, you weren’t sure. Your arousal was obvious, your nipples already pinched.

You lifted your head to kiss him again, loving the way his scruff was slightly scratchy against your face and the feeling of his lips moving simultaneously with yours.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been kissing when you felt his hands glide up your thighs, fingers brushing against the side of your underwear. Just the feeling of him touching you through the thin fabric of your underwear was enough to make you shiver. Your lips were traveling along his jaw when you felt him lift you.

“What are you-”

He placed you on the table as easily as he could before pulling your last article of clothing off. His arms hooked under your thighs, lifting you up and pulling you to the edge of the table, sending the deck of cards flying.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, feeling his mouth on you. Never in a million years would you have imagined his mouth to be this impactful.

You couldn’t see his expression, but somehow you knew Spencer was smirking. His tongue moved agonizingly slow over your slit, just barely brushing your clit.

“Spencer for God’s sake,” you whined already feeling tension building throughout every inch of your body, his touch sending your entire being into overload.

Your head fell backwards when his tongue flicked your clit repeatedly before flattening his tongue against it. Your breathing was heavy as you managed to sit up on your elbows, looking down at him. The sight of Dr. Spencer Reid, the resident genius, with his head between your legs, doing magical things with his mouth was almost enough to send you spiralling out of control.

When you felt his touch completely disappear you opened your mouth to protest until you felt his fingers on you again. One finger slid in as he watched your expression, his eyes squinted again, his tongue moistening his lips.

“I swear to God if you don’t stop licking your lips I’m gonna cum right this second,” you practically growled at him.

His only response was a chuckle before he added a second finger to the mix and his mouth was back on you again. His tongue moved against you before finally sucking on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oh fuck, oh yes. Speeeence,” you moaned, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

You couldn’t tell if it was just your thighs or your entire body that was shaking, but you were pretty sure it was both at this rate. You gripped the edge of the table hard, the mound of tension in the pit of your stomach unraveling faster and faster.

“Please don’t stop,” you begged breathlessly, desperate for the sweet release that was so close you could almost reach.

Like a balloon bursting after being filled with too much air, your body feels the same as your orgasm coursed through it, rendering you breathless mid-moan.

You’re pretty sure you hadn’t cursed as much as you did in the seconds following.

“Holy shit Spencer,” you groaned, trying to gain some control in your body again.

He pulled you toward the edge of the table, helping you down so you were leaning against it. Your legs were shaking too much to be able to stand on your own anyway. His hand cupped your face as he kissed you again, this time a lot softer than the previous kisses you’d shared. It was then when you had an idea.

“Sit back.” You took his hand off your face, lightly pushing his shoulders for him to sit back in the chair.

“Why?”

“Just do it.” You kissed the base of his throat, fingers fumbling over the buttons of his shirt.

With each button released, your lips moved lower over his skin.

Finally getting the gist of your movements, his hand caught your wrist when your fingers reached the waist of his pants.

“You don’t have to.”

“I know. But I’m a lady and I always return a good deed,” you grinned slyly.

He bit his lip as if trying to assess your face just to be sure.

“I want to.”

He released his grip and you continued your task, wasting no time until he was in his boxers. Your lips moved in line above his waistband your palm pressing against the noticeable bulge.

A grunt came above you encouraging you. You pulled the fabric enough out of the way, your hand wrapping around his cock. He inhaled sharply, watching you intently. Your hand moved slowly back and forth making him suffer just as much as he did to you.

“Y/N I think I’m wound up enough. Cut out the fucking teasing,” came through gritted teeth.

“My apologies, Doctor.”

You flashed a quick smirk up at him then leaned down, tongue swirling around his head. His hips jerked slightly when you took him in your mouth, your tongue swirling before settling on sucking.

“Fuck!” Spencer groaned loudly.

You peeked upwards to see his head fall back and his eyes close. You couldn’t help but feel the satisfaction at knowing you’re the one causing him to react like this.

You feel his hand in your hair, his grip tightening the longer you’re on your knees.

“After listening to you Y/N, I’m not gonna last long,” he groans as you hum your response.

Using one hand to pump him, you suck on his head long enough for him to give you the warning of his impending release. Seconds later it hit him, hot liquid filling your mouth. You sat back swallowing like a champ and wiping your mouth. You looked up at the wrecked Dr. Reid, panting above you. It was a good look on him.

“Did you let me win?”

“What?”

“Earlier. During the game; that last hand I won. Did you let me win?” You asked as you grabbed your own clothes, both of you trying to look presentable again.

“Y/N, you can win all the poker games you want as long as we can do that again.”

“You got a deal.”

“There’s only one problem now,” he groaned.

“You mean besides the deck of cards scattered on the floor?”

“Yes. Cause now when we have a new case I’m going to have to resist the urge to imagine bending you over this table.”

You swallowed hard, the image in your mind doing things to you as well. You looked him in the eye before responding, earnestly.

“Guess that’s gonna have to wait until the next poker game.”

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid gifs #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid gifs #dr spencer reid smut #Criminal Minds #criminal minds gifs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut

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aahsokaatano · 4 years

Note

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic.

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and -

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even -

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution.

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

youtube

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

#thebisexualmandalorian #jesse #max answers #spn #naturally super #changing channels #im having some THOUGHTS yall

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mamourland · 4 years

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Poker Face - A Magnum/Higgins fic

Yesterday I saw the episode 2x14 on French TV, where they are all playing poker. I cursed Shammy for being between Magnum and Higgins and then I fixed it up in a fic.

It started as a drabble to post on Tumblr but now it’s like 1600 words...

Rating: Mature

Poker night had always been Magnum’s favorite social activity since he arrived on this island. It was a way to put everyone’s differences away and have a good laugh. Sometimes when you were lucky, you could even go home with a little pocket change.

For a few months now, they had established a weekly game in the wine cellar and at first it was only the Ohana: Rick, TC, Higgins and Kumu, but then invitations were thrown around and soon the poker table was crowded.

Tonight though, Thomas didn’t mind that he had to squeeze against the person on his left because his neighbor was none other than his partner, Juliet Higgins.

He loved playing poker with Higgins because for an old spy, she had the worst poker face he had ever seen. She overthought things – much like in real life – and always assumed he was bluffing. Magnum smiled as he remembered the amount of money he squeezed out of her when they once played alone together. Too bad it hadn’t been strip poker because he would have gotten an eyeful that night.

‘Speaking of an eyeful…’, he thought with a smirk as his eyes discreetly roamed her upper body.

She was wearing a soft blue t-shirt and what was probably the shortest shorts she owned, so short it was like she wasn’t wearing anything besides her panties. He almost had a heart attack when he saw her arrive dressed like this and barefoot to the poker game. This outfit made her look so soft, like a college student, and made her almost approachable.

He caught sight of her expression as she watched her cards – she was frowning and biting her lower lip – and deduced she was having a lousy hand so he decided he would raise his bet on his next turn.

He put his cards face down on the table and stretched his back, raising his arms above his head, leaning backwards on his chair. When he did, he almost choked on his own saliva.

Higgins was actually cross-legged on her chair, her long, smooth legs on full display for his hungry eyes. If Magnum was a poet, he would write sonnets about those legs, those tanned, muscular, gorgeous legs of hers he longed to have wrapped around him.

He blinked, slightly disturbed by those contemplations about his partner. She was a beautiful woman, no one ever claimed the opposite, but their relationship had always been platonic. For all the times they had seen each other half-naked – and they were quite numerous – Thomas never had an inappropriate thought about the young woman whose delicious perfume was reaching his nose.

He didn’t know which switch had been activated in his brain to finally make him see Higgins – Juliet – like a desirable woman he could lust after, but he inwardly cursed it.

Their working relationship would certainly suffer from this epiphany of his and if she had an idea what was going through his head right now, she would deck him on the spot. The thought of it made his palms sweat slightly and when he rubbed them on the fabric of his shorts, his left forearm made contact with her thigh.

The touch raised goosebumps all over his arm and his heart raced. He wouldn’t survive this night at this rate.

His eyes scanned around him and everyone seemed oblivious to his inner struggle, even Higgins.

Magnum would blame what happened next on his lust induced brain but, as if it had a mind on its own, his hand slowly reached out under the table until the tip of his fingers grazed the soft skin of her knee. She tensed slightly under his touch but didn’t remove his hand which didn’t mean she was okay with him groping her under the poker table but at least his limb was still attached to his body. He took it as a good sign.

He tried to catch a glimpse of her face without turning his head and saw her swallow her saliva.

He felt emboldened by the forbiddance of the situation and ran the tip of his index finger slowly up her outer thigh. She covered her sharp intake of breath by a small cough.

Oh yeah, she was on board with this.

He was startled from his musings by TC who reminded him it was his turn. He threw a couple of chips in the middle, not even caring what he was betting. Another game was actually keeping his attention right now.

Higgins announced she was folding as she put her cards on the table, face down. She took the opportunity to lean her forearms on the table so her lap was even more hidden from view.

Magnum’s heart skipped a beat. She was doing her best to keep his actions from the others which meant only one thing: she wanted him to continue. And who was he to deny her?

His other fingers joined the one currently drawing small circles on her soft skin and he directed them to her inner thigh. He heard her take a deep breath and suddenly, his shorts felt a lot tighter.

Sensing his level of arousal climb dangerously, Thomas wondered if keeping up with fondling his partner in front of every one of his friends was really the right thing to do. Juliet made the decision for him as she leaned forward as an excuse to speak with Rick at the end of the table and slid her hips forwards. The move brought his hand a mere inch from her center and Magnum could already feel the heat that came from her.

Thankfully, Shammy won the hand and there were a lot of movement around the table, from Katsumoto reaching for the cards to shuffle them, Rick helping the winner stack up his chips to everyone around taking a drink.

Magnum took the opportunity to make the boldest move yet as he slipped his index and middle fingers underneath her shorts to come in direct contact with her panties covered folds.

She choked on her beer and suddenly seven pairs of eyes were fixated on her.

“You ok, Higgy?”, TC asked.

“Fine.”, she answered mid-cough.

“You sure? You look a little flushed.”, Kumu added and Thomas bit the inside of his cheek to keep from gloating that she was in this state because of him.

He looked at her and had to admit she looked lovely with this slight shade a pink on her cheeks. She turned towards him and threw him the dirtiest look she could muster in her state.

“I’m okay, Kumu. Just a bit hot, I need to cut the alcohol for tonight.”, she reassured the older woman.

He waited until she finished talking before he brushed lightly the pad of his fingers up and down her folds. Her thighs contracted, probably in restraint, as he kept teasing her.

“Okay, last hand for tonight.”, she announced loudly. “Some of us has to work in the morning.”

Magnum didn’t hold back his chuckle. Oh, she was desperate to get rid of everyone, wasn’t she?

“Of course, you don’t fall into that category, Magnum.”, she added to rib him.

Everyone around the table laughed and he pressed his fingers more firmly against her to get back at her. She shifted her hips closer to his hand and he swore he could feel wetness through the fabric of her panties and now he was desperate to get rid of his friends.

He barely looked at his cards before he bet the minimum required to the pot. Higgins folded and when he looked at her he saw her close briefly her eyes.

God, he wanted her. Like right this instant.

He folded on the next round and Katsumoto won the hand. When TC got up, followed by Kamekona, Higgins ripped his hand from her center and flew from her seat making him lose the connection to her body. They took care of the winnings but Thomas stayed seated, completely dazed. Not that he could actually get up in the state he was in without revealing to everyone what exactly had been happening during the game.

Each of his friends bid their goodnight on their way out and Katsumoto smirked at him. Apparently not everyone had been fooled.

Magnum’s gaze followed Higgins everywhere she went in the wine cellar and now that he had the full visual of her legs, his lustful thoughts were back.

“Magnum, can you get up to help me clean up this mess?”, Higgins scolded him but when their eyes met he knew she was messing with him and his state.

But they weren’t alone yet.

“You’re awfully quiet, Thomas. Are you okay?”, Kumu asked, worried.

He smiled at the older woman and her motherly concern.

“I’m fine, Kumu. Just a bit tired.”

“Well I’m off to bed and you should too, young man.”, she added as she started to climb the stairs. “Goodnight you two.”

He caught Higgins’ eyes before he said.

“Oh, I’m going to bed alright.”

Her gaze grew heated and the smile she threw at him did nothing to assuage his arousal. He got up and was in front of her in two strides before he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply.

“Was it the shorts?”, she growled against his lips.

He gripped her ass in her tiny grey shorts and grumbled his agreement before slipping his tongue back in her mouth.

“Good, cause I wore them just for you.”, she breathed against his cheek when they broke apart.

Suddenly, everything was clear in Magnum’s mind, there was no switch, just a very determined Higgins to lure him in her bed.

“Best decision ever. Now, how about we go to bed?”

#magnum PI #magnum fic #magnum x higgins #Thomas Magnum #juliet higgins #magnum x juliet #miggy fic #miggy #My fic #fanfiction #fanfic #smut sort of

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #408

“tied to the rat race / a big bird in a small cage”

Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? I really don't check my email enough to even know. If you were given an assignment to draw anything besides stick figures or just doodles, what would you draw? A meerkat of course, ha ha. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? I never did. Well no, I did play "Dragons of Atlantis" when Facebook bought it or whatever, but now that it's a mobile game, I don't play anything on there. When was the last time you were sunburnt? Ha, actually now. It's from riding an hour to and an hour back from the TMS office every weekday; the sun coming in through the window got my arm. Who all do you live with? My mom and my two pets. Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket? Yeah. It was so comforting when Jason gave me his leather jacket to wear if I was cold; it was pretty big on me at that time and just really cozy. Thanks survey, now I feel like crying. :^) How many friends do you have of the opposite sex? Like, one. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? No. Does your house have sliding glass doors? No. Was the last food item you ate part of a meal or a snack? A snack. What color is your hair brush? I don't use a brush, but a white comb. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? I think I prefer sunny for the sake of helping keep my depression at bay, but sometimes I really do enjoy some nice steady rainfall at the window. Who’s the last person that you hugged, not family? I have no idea. What will your next piercing be? Probably getting my nostril re-pierced. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? uhhhhhhhhhh now What’s scarier: spiders or worms? Worms gross me out, but a spider is more likely to actually scare me, but at the same time fascinate me. Do you play poker for real money? No. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to tell the dad? I'd tell him immediately. Would you ever date out of your own race? I have in the past, and I would again. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, more than half the time they're better than "grown up" movies. What’s your favorite movie trilogy? Uhhhh does TLK count? ha ha What would you like to take lessons in? German. Whose Facebook password do you have? Just my own. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. Are you too forgiving? Yuuuup. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? Well, we were dating. Have you ever gotten someone suspended? No. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? No. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes; I believe you really probably should before getting married so you see if you "fit" as far as household habits and such go. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? Yeah no. I'd feel way too awkward. What are you listening to? A John Wolfe video. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mom. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? I mean possibly, it was a public place, and some people are definitely caught off-guard by seeing two girls kiss. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Mom wants a tattoo, though, dedicated to all of us kids and her grandkids. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? -_- Would you ever stalk a celebrity? Um, no???? You don't stalk ANYBODY. It's a violation of space, privacy, basic respect... Do you have any National Geographic magazines lying around? No. Have you ever been mistaken for the opposite gender? No. Do you use liquid foundation, mousse, or just powder? None. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Maybe? I don't remember. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? Oh god, I hope not. I don't remember ever having done that. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. I always wanted to as a kid. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together? Yeah, I have. I used to like to do that with my mom especially. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go garage sale shopping? Yes, actually. My family used to love to do that. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. Ya better just bring your phone. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? On my actual camera, a hydrangea bush. On the camera on my phone, I believe my cat. Are you proud of who you are? Not... really. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Nope. I'm too awkward and I would NEVER write the orders down quickly enough. I write so slow. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? The chocolate and peanut butter ones. If you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? Well I doubt it's okay, but I would absolutely stop to move it away from the road and sob my eyes out. I'd probably try to find some flowers to rest on it. What's your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti. Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end? I don't even know how to play solitaire. What's the dumbest thing you've heard of that supposedly causes cancer? Who the hell knows, everything does apparently. If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it? No. Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Absolutely. Do you own a lava lamp? No, but I would looove one. What charity or cause would you donate $1,000 to if possible? Off the top of my head, the Trevor Project. I'd probably research before actually donating, though. What would you say is your greatest strength? I guess that I care a lot about people. What's one food that you find too disgusting to eat? Things like clams, es cargot, sashimi... just ew. What's something that will never bore you? Uhhhh good question. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Domino's, by a long shot. What's something that always, no matter what, makes you laugh? Stupid Vines, lol. Have you ever been in a canoe? No. How many vehicles does your family own? Just one, my mom's. Are you generally afraid of taking risks? Yes. Have you ever caught/swatted a fly in/with your hand? Ew, no. Would you ever dye your hair bubblegum pink? Yeah. What was the last thing to happen that you really weren't expecting? The woman whose wedding I shot TWO YEARS ago finally reaching out to me about buying some pictures. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I'm eating less, odds are I'm extremely serious about losing weight. If I'm eating more than usual, high odds are I'm depressed or bored. Or I'm on my period. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Harry Potter, ha ha. He was a guinea pig. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? I'm very likely to just metaphorically flee from it because I fear confrontation so much. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? If I have any say in it, I'm never talking to Colleen again. List the initials of every person you have ever kissed, from first kiss to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) I'm not listing their last initial, but anyway: J, T, G, S. Does your face break out right before your period? Not "break out," no. I'll just get a pimple or two. What did you dream about last night? All I remember was that it focused on Jason and his late mother. I miss her so much. I hope so much that whatever exists beyond death, she found the peace she was so worthy of. Do you think the United States health care system needs reform? FUCK yes I do. Our health care system is a disgusting fucking nightmare. Who was the last person you cried over? Jason. My PTSD has been doing quite well, but I had an emotional episode recently nonetheless. Do you prefer ceiling fans or fans that stand up on the floor and you plug in? I use both, but I think my preference is ceiling ones. What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? Hypothetically, if I had a child, if I'm totally honest, I probably would. I would hate it, but I'm not letting my child starve to death if I can do something about it. Why do you think evolution is true/false? Because there is substantial evidence for it and imo is the most logical theory we've thought up. Some things about it seem kinda far-fetched, but I still have faith in it. I trust scientists and the evolution we see firsthand, such as caterpillars to cocoons, tadpoles to frogs, etc. Who came through for you at a time when you really, really needed it? Colleen. She let me live with her when I was technically homeless. What turned out better than you thought? Good question. What object did you used to, or do you still, keep hidden? My drawings. I've flipped my shit when Mom's found them in the past, even though she went on and on about how "amazing" they were. I don't draw anything "bad" at all, but still, I don't like people seeing my creativity. Who can’t you figure out? My damn self. What are you hoping for? The most recent thing would be hoping Shonda buys a lot, if not all, the wedding photos I took. I desperately want to use the money along with what I have left from Christmas to buy Venus' terrarium and proper supplies all by myself. What’s the best physical object that you kept from a previous relationship? Idk, there's a few things. What is the most socially unacceptable thing that you have no problem with? Maybe women not shaving. Like I couldn't care less. What have you done that you surprised yourself by doing? *shrug* What used to be a secret about you? Hm. Anything that used to be a secret probably still is one. What is the most stalky thing you’ve ever done? Just Facebook digging, and that's not something I've done a lot off. What did you wind up liking that you didn’t want anything to do with at first? The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is something sexual, so let's not go into that. Who do you owe your life that you can never pay back? Mom and Jason have both saved me from what would've been suicide attempts.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''monkey tree'' by mother mother

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the--blackdahlia · 4 years

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The General’s Daughter Chapter 3

Title: The General’s Daughter Chapter 3

Summary: Stevie Holstead was enjoying her time at a hospital in Seoul. She was there with friends, even with the ever-watching eyes of her father watching her. That was until Margaret Houlihan decided she needed help with the nurses. Now Stevie is heading to the 4077th, and a whole lot of adventure that she never thought she would see in her lifetime.

Series Warnings: Language, violence, war themes, later attempted non-con, sexual themes, later sexual scene, crude humor, and more that might come to mind later on.

AN: Thank you so much to everyone who read chapter 2! I really appreciate it! I would also like to thank @piratewithvigor for being my beta and listening to my insane ideas. Also, I want to go ahead and add that I have decided that this verse is “it’s okay to be gay”. Screw homophobic 1950s.

Taglist: @traceyaudette

Henry was sitting at a table in the mess tent with Margaret and Frank when Stevie walked in, feeling more refreshed than she had a few hours ago. She got her food and was about to find herself a place to sit when she was called over to their table. Part of her wanted to be alone, to just go through the motions until she was called back to Seoul, but another part of her really did want to fit in and enjoy her time at the famous 4077th.

“Majors. Colonel,” Stevie greeted the three as she sat down by Henry.

“How are you liking it so far?” Henry asked, smiling at her.

“It’s a lot different than Seoul,” She returned his smile the best that she could. “But it’s not bad.”

“Not bad, she says,” Henry laughed loudly. Stevie took a sip of her coffee and coughed when the liquid touched her taste buds.

“Woah, that’s like tar,” She shuddered. “Gather some of this and we could have paved roads all throughout here.” The doors to the mess tent opened and Trapper and Hawkeye made their way in. BJ had gotten fed up listening to Hawkeye not crush on Stevie and kicked him out, sending him to annoy Trapper for a little bit while he got some sleep. Trapper was quick to sit down by Stevie, giving Hawkeye a shit eating grin when he glared at the other surgeon. He was forced to sit on the other side of Margaret, refusing to sit by Frank.

“What did we miss?” Trapper asked, making eye contact with Hawkeye as he moved closer to Stevie.

“Stevie discovered real Army coffee,” Margaret explained. “Even though I

thought you would’ve been used to it being from a military family.”

“Well, we were always in fully functioning hospitals and such. They usually had good coffee.” Stevie took a bite of her food and made a disgusted face. “And food.”

“Oh, your dad’s a doctor too?” Frank asked. Stevie nodded while Margaret smiled. Just like most of the higher brass, she knew Samuel Holstead’s track record. And he was one she hadn’t had the opportunity to have a discussion with.

“Does that mean he’s the surgeon general?” Hawkeye asked. Margaret turned to glare at the captain and was about to berate him when Stevie started laughing.

“Oh my! That was good!” Stevie smiled brightly at Hawkeye. “I seriously have never thought of that one before.” Margaret rolled her eyes as Hawkeye leaned across the table.

“I’m Hawkeye. We met earlier but you were tired.” He told her.

“Hawkeye? Like Last of the Mohicans? ” Stevie asked. Trapper could see Hawkeye’s eye light up. He just knew that him and BJ would be subjected to more of his “not crushing” on Stevie in the days to come.

“Exactly,” He smiled at her and Frank groaned.

“Now, don’t you be corrupting her like you did Hunnicutt!” Frank snapped.

“Can’t corrupt the corrupted,” Trapper laughed. Stevie shook her head and worked on trying to eat the food in front of her. “Even though, I think that the food will kill Ms. Captain here before we have a chance to corrupt her.”

“It’s not the worst food I’ve had,” Stevie explained. “But I’ve been to so many bases over my lifetime, I couldn’t tell you which was the best and worst.” She fiddled with the dog tags around her neck.

“Where is home then?” Hawkeye asked. “If you’ve been to so many places.”

“I was born in Cicero, Indiana, and lived there until dad got settled in the remodeled Fort Benjamin Harrison.”

“I’m from Fort Wayne!” Frank said excitedly. “Wait, where’s Cicero?” Stevie sighed.

“Anyway, we lived in Indiana until I was about one or two I think. I’ve probably been on at least 50 bases over my lifetime. But my favorite was California. The sun, the beach. But that’s all a story for another time.” She smiled and Hawkeye was sure that you could see his heart pounding out of his chest like in those Looney Tunes episodes. “Anyway, Major Houlihan, whenever you want to introduce me to the rest of the nursing team, I’m ready.”

“Don’t you want the rest of your oatmeal?” Trapper asked, poking at a white blob on her tray.

“That’s oatmeal?” Stevie asked. “I thought it was bad powered eggs.”

“Welcome to the 4077th,” Hawkeye laughed. “Where we have 1 star food and the ambient noise of gunfire to lull you to sleep.” Stevie gave him another smile before her and Margaret headed off to see the other nurses.

****

“I’ll have to apologize for Captain Pierce,” Margaret told Stevie as they headed towards the other nurses quarters. “He’s a good surgeon, but too cynical and a little too much of everything else. Especially for a first meeting.”

“He’s fine major,” Stevie smiled fondly. “He reminds me of someone.”

“Oh? A boyfriend back home or something?” Margaret quizzed.

“Not quite. He's a friend who's a boy and we flirt and all, but he's like the brother I never had and always wanted . ” Stevie sighed. “I still miss him a lot. Even though my dad doesn’t like me hanging out with sergeants”

“A sergeant?” Margaret asked.

“Well, I just call him a sergeant. Michael’s actually a sergeant major, but he wants to be a warrant officer so bad,” Margaret watched a sad smile make it’s way on Stevie’s face before she shook her head.

“Well, a sergeant major is almost an officer,” Margaret told her, patting her shoulder. “And a warrant officer is a lot of responsibility.”

“Yeah...” Stevie shook herself out of her homesickness, returning to her cheerful mood. “Come on. I’m ready to meet the girls.” Margaret returned her smile and went to get the nurses so Stevie could meet them.

****

“Earth to Hawkeye,” Henry waved his hand in front of Hawkeye’s face. “Hello.”

“What?” Hawkeye asked, turning his attention to the table in front of him. Radar, Klinger, BJ, Trapper, Henry, and himself were all gathered around the table for their poker game.

“Are you playing or not?” Trapper asked. “Or are you still daydreaming about Captain Holstead?”

“I’m not daydreaming about Stevie,” Hawkeye told them, throwing a couple chips into the pot.

“I had to kick him out because he kept talking about her goofy cute smile,” BJ told the group, causing Hawkeye to shoot a glare his way.

“Oh, it’s just a crush. Once she’s here for a few days, it’ll go away,” Henry told them. “Especially after he adds her notch to his bedpost.”

“What?” Radar asked. Klinger just patted his arm.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older,” Klinger laughed. Radar pulled his arm away.

“I think I’m old enough!” Radar’s voice squeaked a little, making all the guys smile.

“What Henry means is that Hawk will get a roll in the hay with Ms. Captain and then he’ll be back on his normal bullshit,” Trapper explained to Radar. “He’ll be drooling over her replacement when Hot Lips scares her so much that she would rather be at a front line aid station than here.”

“Oh shut up,” Hawkeye shook his head. “Let’s just play cards.” Radar, Klinger, Henry, BJ, and Trapper all exchanged looks. “What?”

“Nothing,” BJ shook his head. “I’m in.”

****

Attention! Incoming wounded! Let’s do this folks!

Stevie stood in the OR with the other nurses. The corpsmen brought in a wounded soldier for each surgeon. Margaret went to stand by Frank, wanting to stand on the sidelines and see how Captain Holstead handled high paced surgery.

“Captain Holstead, assist Captain McIntyre,” Margaret told her. Stevie nodded and headed over to Trapper.

“Hey there sweetheart,” Trapper smiled at her under his mask. “I’m so glad I get to be your partner for your first dance.”

“I’ve assisted in several surgeries,” Stevie told him. “But this is a first at a MASH.”

“Then I’m glad I can be your first,” Trapper glanced up at Hawkeye, who was glaring.

“You wish Captain,” Stevie was smirking now. Trapper chuckled.

“Can I get some quiet in here?!” Frank yelled.

“Yeah Frank. Quiet,” Hawkeye shot back.

The time in the OR seemed to fly by as Stevie worked with Trapper. She seemed to be channeling her inner Radar, being able to get Trapper what he needed before he even asked her. Eventually, the wounded stopped coming and everyone stripped out of their blood stained scrubs.

“So, how was she?” Margaret pulled Trapper aside to speak to him about Stevie. Captain Holstead was otherwise preoccupied with BJ.

“She was magnificent in every sense of the word,” Trapper told her. “I wouldn’t mind seeing how she could be as a partner in other areas.”

“Oh you pervert!” Frank shook his head.

“I was meaning euchre Frank,” Trapper shook his head. “We have some very dirty minded people in this camp.” He laughed and headed out.

“I’d love to see pictures of her,” Stevie told BJ. She had gotten him talking about Peg and Erin, and he hadn’t been able to stop. “Her and your wife just sound so cute.”

“They are,” BJ nodded. “I’m going to call it a night, but I have plenty of pictures in the Swamp I can show you.”

“I’d love that,” She smiled at him and ran her fingers through her hair. “Well, I’ll see you later. I want to wash some of this blood off before I have Post OP duty.”

“Got you pulling that already?” BJ laughed. “Must have pissed someone off.” He smiled. “Goodnight Stevie.”

“Goodnight BJ,” She waved goodbye to the doctor before turning to scrub at her hands. Hawkeye threw his dirty laundry in the bag to be sanitised before heading over to where Stevie was. Frank and Margaret looked at each other before making their way over as well.

“You did well Captain Holstead,” Margaret complimented her, a rare event that most nurses didn’t get to see. “I hope you keep it up.”

“Yes major. I won’t let you down.” Stevie nodded. “Goodnight.” Margaret smiled before leading Frank out. “So, how long have those two been tangoing?” Stevie asked Hawkeye, not even looking up at him.

“That obvious?” Hawkeye asked, leaning up against the wall to watch her.

“Reminds me of some of the going ons back in Seoul,” Stevie told him. “I’m guessing one of them is married?”

“Frank’s married to who we assume is a hostage, Margaret’s married to the Army,” Hawkeye laughed. “What about you? Partner? Kids?”

“I haven’t even had as much of a dog,” Stevie sighed. “Dad said they were just too much trouble. And I haven’t been in one place for long enough to have any serious relationships.” She tried off her hands and headed towards the Post OP for her evening rounds, surprised to see Hawkeye following her.

“I’m on night duty,” He told her. “Do you want some coffee or anything?”

“I’m okay for right now captain,” Stevie told him, walking through the rows of beds, looking at the wounded and resting servicemen. Part of her was scared that she would look at these faces and see one of the faces of her friends she had made over the years. But Michael was in Seoul the last she knew; Saul had gone to England for his grandmother’s funeral, and she didn’t see him coming back any time soon; Bill, no, his name was Axl, had been sent home and threatened to run to Canada if they ever tried to pull him back; and Izzy had switched to the Air Force with dreams of flying planes the way he raced cars, fast.

“You can call me Hawkeye,” He told her, taking his seat at the desk in the corner. He put his feet up on it and watched Stevie walk around, checking on the charts. “So, do you know any of them?”

“Who?” Stevie looked at him.

“The Rockettes,” Hawkeye laughed. “The soldiers.” Hawkeye waved a hand to indicate what he meant.

“Oh, no,” She shook her head and took a seat at the desk with him. “Thankfully, I don’t. But I know that won’t last long.”

“What makes you say that?” Hawkeye asked.

“Some of these kids can’t afford to get sent home. If their injuries aren’t bad enough, they’ll let some officer tell them how great Army life is, promise them things that won’t ever come to them, and the cycle repeats itself.” Stevie sighed.

“Lots of experience with that?”

“I know four guys that I’ve met at different bases over the years,” Stevie explained. “Only one of them didn’t let himself be convinced by the military to stay. He went back to Indiana, saying he’d rather take his chances with his asshole stepfather than be in the military one more day.”

“You know, for you to be regular army, you don’t have a very high opinion of it,” Hawkeye put his feet on the ground and leaned forward. “Like, I know why I hate it. But why do you?”

“I don’t hate it,” Stevie told him. “I just resent it.”

“Oh? Do tell?” Hawkeye smiled at her. Stevie laughed a little.

“Maybe some other time,” she got up. “Don’t want to give all my secrets away on the first day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have my rounds to make.”

#the generals daughter #mash #motley crue #guns n roses #fanfiction

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mysideblogofsurveys · 4 years

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Survey 7.

1. if you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? I don’t have my cat anymore (I had to give him to my parents when I moved in with my husband because he is allergic) but I had adopted him from the humane society. 2. what kind of cheese is your favorite, or no cheese at all? Honestly, all of the cheese. I love it all haha 3. do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not really, I’m horrible at it. 4. have you seen any of the old james bond movies? No, just the new ones 5. do you chew gum on a regular basis? No, I actually don’t even remember the last time I had any.

6. do you think mitchell musso is hot, like all the magazines say? I didn’t know who that was so I looked it up and nope. I don’t find him attractive at all.

7. list all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: How small I am (I’m like 5′0), I don’t look like I”m 32 so I get treated like I”m a lot younger, my eyes

8. do you play ps, ps2, or ps3? I haven’t in a while (been too busy playing my Nintendo Switch) but I have quite a few games for it. My husband plays it more than I do. 9. have you ever been in a hot air balloon? and if not, would you ever want to go in one? I think it’d be kinda cool but getting my courage together to go on it is another thing lol 10. do your parents buy you something on a daily basis? No, I buy everything myself. 11. what type of computer do you have? Well, my laptop is from like 2015, its an HP. I bought it to help me study for my Licensing exams for my career (not college related) My desktop is from 2012 that my Husband helped me build. It was like $1000 but had all the best equipment at the time and still works great today. Expensive but so worth it. 12. do you like old, black and white movies? The only black and white show I’ve watched were old cartoons or 3 Stooges 13. is anyone else in the room with you right now? Not exactly? We have an open floor plan so my husband is technically in the dining room (I’m in the living room) but I can see him if I move my head slightly, he’s just around the corner. 14. do you watch john and kate plus 8? No but I’ve seen one or two episodes. 15. do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? No 16. do you listen to local bands? No, well we went to a Fair in January, not too far away from us that had local kids playing and they weren’t too bad (obviously haven’t heard them since then). I hung out with a lot of guys that were in bands when I was in highschool though.

17. do you collect anything? Video games, I guess. I prefer to buy the physical versions for several reasons 18. have you seen the movie, thirteen? I don’t think so. 19. do you watch vh1? I Haven’t in a long time but I did when I lived with my parents 20. have you ever said “fergalicious”, but changed it to your name instead of fergie’s? What? No. I only liked one song from her 21. do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but I did growing up (my parents asked if we wanted a trampoline or a pool and we wanted a pool) 22. do you watch youtube videos often? No, well not really. I don’t like follow any YouTubers except Tim Pool (Liberal) and Steven Crowder (Conservative). Mostly because I believe they try to sift through the shit the news/media either doesn’t focus on or skips completely and try to get the truth. I like listening to both Liberals and Conservatives then form my own opinion. 23. do you wear mascara? Yeah but the only make up I wear is eyeliner and mascara.

24. do your parents fight? do they even talk at all? I’m sure they have like arguments but I’ve never seen them have huge ones.

25. have you ever watched a movie that’s in a completely different language, so you had to read sub-titles? All the time! I’m actually binge-watching “Dark” on Netflix (its a German time travel show. Its SO GOOD but also fucked up. It has English voice-overs but it just doesn’t feel right. Sounds much better in the native German). I also watch a lot of anime in Japanese (with subtitles). I’m trying to learn both languages. 26. do people with yellow teeth disgust you? Thats kinda mean 27. do you drink alcohol on new year’s eve? Yes 28. do you wear rings? Only my engagement and wedding ring 29. are you hungry right now? Yeah, a little 30. would you like to have a universal remote, like in the movie, Click? I don’t thinks so, only because going back to fix something would change the future and as I’ve seen from “Dark” (mentioned above), time traveling is nothing I want to deal with lol

31. have you ever tried smoking a cigarette? Yeah. I socially smoked (had one when I drank) when I was younger but haven’t had one in over 10 years. I never bought any or got addicted, just had one when everyone else went out for a smoke (if that makes sense) 32. do you get any magazines in the mail? Yeah, I get Game Informer because I’m a member of GameStop’s membership. I get all of my video games there.

33. don’t you just wanna stab someone with a fire poker? No, wtf! 34. do you wear baseball caps? No, I’m not a hat person except when we go to the beach. Then I wear a floppy one to shield me from the sun

35. what was the last memory you thought about that instantly brought a smile to your face? I’m not sure 36. has anyone inflicted physical pain on you today? No but myself is beating me up from the inside (I started my period last night so I’m all cramp-y :/ ) 37. are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? Yeah, I suppose. Its like a 15 min walk though. 38. what was the last store that you went into when you were at the mall? I haven’t been to the mall in months but it was probably GameStop. 39. do you currently have any coupons for stores right now, which stores specifically? I don’t have coupons but I have a bunch of gift cards. To Kohls, Panera Bread, BoneFish restaurant and some others I can’t think of right now

40. what was the last picture you uploaded to your facebook? Its been a long time, I don’t post anything to FaceBook anymore (I don’t trust it. If it wasn’t for keeping up with family on it, I would delete it. 41. when was the last time that you were so tired that everything was funny to you? A long time, I normally fall asleep before I get to the giggly stage. 42. what’s something that you do that you know hurts people close to you? Probably not call them as much as I should. I suck at keeping in contact with those further away. 43. what was the last board game that you played? It was probably some form of Dungeons and Dragons, we’re super nerdy lol 44. the next time you will be going on vacation, where will you be heading too? Well, we were supposed to go to Germany in September for Okoberfest but since that is cancelled, we probably won’t be going (International flights are still undecided on. But honestly, it’ll probably all get canceled.) Aside from that, I’m still flying to my hometown in early Sept for my cousin’s wedding (and hopefully the Renaissance Festival with my sibling-in-laws but I’m not sure if that will be canceled either.) 45. do you get bloated at all after you eat? It depends on what I eat, so sometimes. 46. have you read the book lovely bones? No, I tend to read Sci-Fi/Fantasy books. I briefly looked up what that book is about and definitely not something I would read. 47. are you mad that this survey is over now? No, I’ll probably do another one lol

#survey #surveys #questionnaire #about me

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peterstanslizzie · 5 years

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Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.4 (Pool Party)

The Actual First Episode

A classic Lizzie Mcguire episode

- For some strange reason, this episode was considered episode #4 and the fourth episode to air even though the production code for this episode is '101′. Meaning that chronologically, this is episode #1 and probably the series pilot. It’s no wonder that all the kids look a lot younger here than in other episodes.

- That being said, let’s begin my episode recap. Lizzie is running through an obstacle course during P.E. class and she’s having a miserable time; I can definitely relate. Side note: Coach Kelly is played by Dot Marie Jones, who also played Coach Beiste on the hit Fox television series, Glee.

- Cartoon Lizzie, who is Lizzie’s conscience gives us a brief commentary on the different social circles in her gym class and she describes herself as someone who doesn’t fit in any category. I can also relate to her in that aspect just because during high school, I didn’t fit into any sort of clique. And that’s fine because having multiple interests and friends from different walks of life was beneficial to me.

Introducing Lizzie’s BFFs and Classmates

This is so pure, I love it

- Babies! They look so young here for real. Miranda is first introduced as Lizzie’s best friend and they basically confide in each others secrets. But more about Miranda later on.

Gordo is so cute but extremely wise for his age

- Lizzie knew Gordo since she was a day out of her mom’s womb. She describes him as “smart, funny, creative and right about everything”. That’s our Gordo for sure.

Kate looks quite different here and it’s not because of the face she’s pulling

- Kate Sanders, as you all know is Lizzie’s frenemy but former best friend because she hit puberty and became popular because of that. I kinda need more info on how that happened. Did the other girls suddenly look up to her? Or did Kate suddenly develop a lot of confidence and a mean attitude to pair?

Danny Kessler was more visible at the start of the series. I wonder what happened?

- I believe Danny was meant to play a larger part in the show; However, his character just kind of faded into the background later on only to be somewhat replaced by Ethan Craft, who is a far better character in my opinion. He serves the purpose of being the hottest boy in school who girls go gaga for and that’s about it really. Danny invites Lizzie and Miranda to a pool party on Saturday and they lose their minds from the invitation.

The Mcguire Household

Lizzie vs Dad and Matt lol. Jo as referee.

- I found this scene, which introduces us to Lizzie’s parents and brother to be a little chaotic; Lizzie tells her family that she’s been invited by the ‘hunk-in-training’ of the school to a party. We also get mentions of spit-swapping and strip poker as well as her dad thinking she has been kissing Danny and having second thoughts on allowing her to go to this party.

- Well, Lizzie doesn’t have to worry about it because she can’t go either way because her Nana’s 80th birthday party falls on the same day. Lizzie gets mad and storms off. I’m guessing her Nana lives out of town and so, it isn’t possible to go to her birthday party and also come back for Danny’s party on the same day.

Miranda’s Betrayal

- Lizzie vents to Miranda and Gordo about not being able to make it to Danny Kessler’s pool party and because of that, being the best friend Miranda is supposed to be, she tells Lizzie that she too won’t be attending his party either in order to show her support for Lizzie.

Side note: Knowing that this episode was written by Terri Minsky, I made the connection that Gordo’s parents who are shrinks is similar to Andi Mack Cyrus’s parents and step-parents being therapists too.

- Kate approaches Miranda and asks her a favor to ask her mom to draw some fake, temporary tattoos on her and her friends for the upcoming party. Miranda accepts and agrees to hang out with Kate after school, which pretty much means she’s re-attending the party and hence, betraying Lizzie in the process.

Miranda is disliked by most fans because of instances like this

- I honestly cannot be too hard on Miranda because she’s only 13 and everyone at school keeps talking about the pool party. Plus, she has a crush on Danny. So, I can’t fault her for ditching Lizzie but she could have at least asked Kate if Lizzie could come along to her house.

- However, I didn’t like how Lizzie was sitting by herself in the same school bus as Miranda and Kate and Miranda did not bother to ask her to sit with them. Even if Kate isn’t willing to let her, she should definitely stand her ground. Poor Lizzie has to sit with this one kid who proudly picks his nose and flicks it.

“Eww! Ya Nasty!” *in Raven Baxter’s voice

Obligation vs Being Forced to do things

- Jo Mcguire is on the phone talking to someone about trying to get out of volunteering to write for a newsletter. Lizzie overhears this and confronts her mom for being hypocritical as she is forcing Lizzie to attend her Nana’s birthday party whilst she herself is trying to come up with an excuse to get out of doing something else.

- I get what Lizzie means; how is it okay for her mom to make excuses while she can’t? Well, Jo is an adult, so excuses are something that she is able to make and bear the responsibilities that come out of it. Lizzie is still a kid and I believe that her old grandma’s birthday is more important than some middle school party.

Heart to Heart

- After Lizzie confines herself in her room, Jo deploys her husband, Sam to try to get Lizzie to open up by asking him to use a simple yet complicated technique known as the ‘hairbrush routine’, which is making an excuse to look for something in the room and proceed to talk about a neutral topic and only engage with the questioning at hand when she makes eye contact and speaks in full sentences. Lol, that’s a mouthful.

- Luckily, we did get this beautiful moment in the end:

Give me some tissues :(

Gordo is the Man

This is some good acting imo

- Can we first talk about that long stare between Lizzie and Miranda in the hallway when Miranda, Kate and her crew were walking past Lizzie by her locker? Their expressions were so believable; I can almost read the dialog between their faces alone.

- Lizzie complains to Gordo and accuses Miranda for being a hypocrite but Gordo tells Lizzie that she shouldn’t be mad at her because the party was something Miranda really wanted to go to.

- Ughh, it’s hard. The position Miranda was put in is so difficult. It’s either she doesn’t go to the party to show her loyalty or she does go and have the best time of her life but risk having her friend hate her because of it. Either way, I think Lizzie shouldn’t be mad at Miranda regardless. There are plenty more episodes for that in the future.

- Gordo delivers the final blow when he says that he wasn’t even invited to the party and that pretty much cancels out all of Lizzie’s arguments.

Another cute Lizzie x Gordo moment

Lizzie makes up with her Mom and Miranda

- Jo enters Lizzie’s room and tells her that her Nana is going to Las Vegas to play poker and so, Lizzie is free to go to the pool party. What a grandma haha! I’m happy they hugged it out. I don’t like Lizzie being mad at her mom.

- Lizzie decided to skip the party (good for her!) and she and Gordo played in the backyard and made art by dipping a huge piece of cloth in some color dye to create a really cool effect.

- Miranda unexpectedly shows up at Lizzie’s backyard after leaving the pool party and turns out, she had a bad time because Kate’s ankle swelled up from the tattoo and she had to sit with her in the locker room. She also admits being a bad friend to Lizzie for blowing her off.

- Lizzie doesn’t hold any grudge and she and Miranda are back to being besties!

Overall Thoughts

- There was a lot to talk about in this episode from Lizzie’s relationship woes with her best friend to her feeling like her opinions and thoughts are not seen as valid by her family. I do think that for how Lizzie was so upset at Miranda, she kinda forgave her too easily. But I don’t think I would want to see them continue to not be on speaking terms for more than 1 episode.

- I am glad that there was no unnecessary sub-plot involving Matt and Sam in this episode. His story-lines are really a hit or miss to me. I prefer the ones where his relationship with his friends and family are tested as well as when he faced situations that gave him character development. I don’t like the goofy, comic-relief ones like last episode’s cooking fiasco.

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ohjohnno · 5 years

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Outrageous Fortune Reviewcap: S1E08 (”My Dearest Foe”)

Well, now I see why I didn’t remember what happened in this episode. The answer, it turns out, is nothing much. This isn’t technically a filler episode - a couple of important new characters are introduced, and a plot thread is introduced at the end that will continue through just about the whole rest of the show - but the actual events of the episode are mostly inconsequential. Accordingly, I won’t spend too much time on ‘em here.

The first plot concerns Cheryl, who has now taken up a job at an insurance company. Nobody except her is especially happy with this - insurance companies, we’re informed, are “the scum of the Earth” - but Cheryl seems to like it.

Things, alas, are not as they seem. The branch Cheryl works for turns out to be running a neat little scam, the girls there all approving each others’ bogus insurance claims; the boss lady, Penny, has been overseeing it thus far, but is looking to move on and wants Cheryl to be her replacement. She only hired her, it turns out, because of who she was, and Cheryl is quietly exasperated; no matter how she tries, she can’t seem to outrun her past. Penny also suggests that another reason she hired her was because she thinks of her as a kindred spirit in having been victimized by a terrible man; Cheryl’s not overly enthused with that suggestion either.

After a little deliberation, she turns down the offer. Penny didn’t expect that, and now fears that she’s told Cheryl enough to make her a threat; she tries to ship her off to a different branch in a place called “Pakuranga” (apparently way off elsewhere in Auckland). Cheryl, feeling betrayed, indulges in a bit of the old family tradition and steals her car, pawning it off to pay some maintenance bills; Penny fires her, and that, one might think, would be the end of it. But Penny, in a fit of pique, calls the cops on Cheryl over a stolen item she spotted in their house one time, and after an incredibly bored visit from Judd and Hickey (who have much better things to be doing), she pays Penny another visit, telling her in no uncertain terms to leave her the fuck alone before she has her friends rob the pants off her and everyone else in the office. Penny backs down.

“For your information, I’m nobody’s victim,” she tells her. Hmm. No comment.

The other main plot concerns Pascalle, and there’s barely anything there. She gets a call from the modeling agency she got registered at before she left the strip club, and they’re considering her for a charity shoot about animals. While in the waiting room, she bumps into a girl named Chantel Lazenby, a fellow model with the agency who also used to be a schoolmate. She used to be very fat, apparently, but she certainly isn’t anymore, and Van is of the belief that she’s “a dyke” (mostly because she rejected his advances once). What follows is an extremely low-stakes rivalry between the two as they both attempt to get the modelling job, mostly involving Pascalle and Chantel having a couple of glorified drinking contests and a few silly lesbian jokes. Eventually, Chantel is successful, and Pascalle is left in the dust, bitterly assuring herself that “Chantel was fat once, and you can’t escape genetics.”

That’s really it, as far as plots go. Doesn’t sound like enough to fill up an episode, does it? Well, it really isn’t - and it doesn’t. The rest of the episode is filled, mostly, with little things; interactions between various characters that have little plot significance but are fun to watch anyway. They’re the meat of this episode, and they make it a lot more likable than such an inconsequential episode really has any right to be.

For a start, Loretta - perhaps thanks to the success of her atrocity last episode - is in the very best mood we’ve ever seen her in the show so far; she’s bubbly and perky, grinning constantly, cracking jokes at everyone’s expense at the speed of light while making herself a constant nuisance for Cheryl, and, as much as I kinda hate to admit it considering what a monster she’s proven herself to be, she is absolutely delightful. We also learn that she’s one of those film nerds who considers Showgirls to be an underrated masterpiece, although she might just be teasing Van there.

There’s a running joke involving a big wooden cuckoo clock that Van (at Loretta’s behest) bought Cheryl for her birthday; it’s an ugly old thing, and it turns out to be stolen (not surprising, since Van bought it from Eric), and Cheryl hates it, which of course means Loretta completely loves it, repeatedly putting it back up on the wall every time Cheryl takes it down. “It’s a battle of wills,” she says, and it’s both hilarious and kind of oddly adorable. Also, lest we forget, Loretta having the idea to get Cheryl a present in the first place is significant - there’s a heart in there after all, it turns out, even if it behaves very strangely sometimes.

We also learn that she used to be great at Irish dancing, which will eventually be important (though not for a very long time). Elsewhere, we find Ted dealing with the fallout from last episode in his own way: poker, at the Wests’ dining table. He’s joined, over the course of the episode, by Munter (which is significant, since that makes this the first time he’s done anything plot-wise that isn’t related to Van), Eric (who’s still upset over Cheryl leaving the crime business), a new character called Falani (a very large, very crooked Samoan mechanic who will become a major supporting character eventually, and who also fixes Cheryl’s car this episode), and eventually Rochelle (who you may remember from episode four). It’s pretty high-stakes for them - they’re all playing for money - but it’s very low-stakes for the viewer, and it is also, possibly, the best part of the entire episode.

Nothing much happens because nothing much needs to. It’s oddly relaxing to watch, actually; just a bunch of nice, simple jokes about an odd cast of various bogans playing poker against each other, subtly revealing things about themselves in the process. Falani goes on lengthy monologues about his skill at making love to his wife, but proves markedly less skilled at the patient, analytical art of the game; Munter is remarkably laid-back, enjoying softly making fun of Falani’s bad luck perhaps more than the game itself; Eric is perpetually grumpy, except when he disappears into the West bathroom and decides, for some reason, to try on some of Pascalle’s moisturizer (possibly thinking it’s Cheryl’s), which is hilarious; Rochelle is arrogant and remarkably skilled. But none of them are as good as Ted, who cleans them all out with aplomb, rarely speaking or changing his facial expression. “I feel much better now,” he says to Cheryl at one point; Cheryl isn’t so enthused with all these bums lazing around her house, but she can see his point.

Ted, at one point, has a one-on-one chat with Cheryl, noting with neither praise nor condemnation how the Wests “have never been much good at what you might call actual jobs”. We’ll see how that statement ages. Wolf turns up just long enough to justify Grant Bowler’s paycheck, his scene pretty much pointless except for how funny it is; he baked her a birthday cake, apparently, but when a car failure prevented her from arriving at the prison to pick it up “it got eaten”, and now he doesn’t want to talk about it, moping like a teenage boy behind the prison desk.

There’s two sides to this show, basically, and this episode is the lighter one. It’s all very low-stakes and very whimsical, and if that means nothing much of consequence happens, well, that’s okay. We get to see the three West children who still live at home laughing and having fun with each other, their lives all mostly tranquil for once, giving us something of a control group for when things start to go wrong. We see the West household in a moment of peace, nothing particularly awful happening to it, nothing calamitous getting in the way of the atmosphere. It’s nice. I like it.

There’s one more thing. In this episode, we’re introduced to Kacey, an old friend of Cheryl’s with “shit taste in blokes” (her words) and a passion for designing undergarments. She talks, at first, of starting up a business, and eventually, having lost her latest job, Cheryl agrees to join her in her venture. The results from this pairing will last a very long time indeed, and Kacey will end up becoming an extremely significant character. That’s all yet to come, though.

This episode also has possibly my favorite ending to any of the less important Outrageous Fortune episodes ever. If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about. Man, this show could be funny when it wanted to. And here, for the most part, that’s all it wants to do. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. After the last episode, it’s nice to have a breather. As I recall, actual important stuff kicks in again next episode. I will see you then.

#Antonia Prebble #Siobhan Marshall #antony starr #Robyn Malcolm #grant bowler #television #outrageous fortune #Frank Whitten #rachel lang #Gutter Black #nz

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leverage-commentary · 6 years

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Leverage Season 1, Episode 9, The Stork Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

John: Hi, I'm John Rogers, Executive Producer of Leverage.

Chris: Chris Downey, Executive Producer.

Albert: Albert Kim, Writer.

Marc: Marc Roskin, Producer...and Director.

[Scattered Applause]

John: And director! Marc Roskin’s first directorial debut, ladies and gentlemen. You have directed for second unit for years for the company and do most of our...You’re shooting pretty much as much as we are on A camera on the show.

Marc: Yeah, there’s a lot.

John: Alfred. Albert, pardon me. Why don’t you tell us where the idea for the show came from?

Albert: Well, this is The Stork Job and it’s another cheery topic. Concerning European orphanages and the scams people perpetrate on desperate parents there-

John: We give you the ones that are more soul-wrenching ones because we know you have no soul.

[Laughter]

Marc: Yes, that’s true.

John: You’re able to withstand the emotional torment.

Marc: But, this was actually based on actual, real scams. Doing research for it, I found there were unscrupulous adoption agencies out there who were preying on parents here in America. And, uh, it started our really grim, but in the end I think the episode came out to be kind of fun.

Albert: Very fun.

John: It’s very fun. It shows how the grim premise can kind of ground you and then allows you to go off and have little bit of fun.

Chris: What’s great about this one, also if I may, is that normally what the teams going after is money, and as you’ll see in this scene here they’re going after a child. Which is really, like, something we’re constantly trying to challenge ourselves in the writers room, to try and make the scams not always about money.

John: We generally fail.

[Laughter]

Chris: It’s very hard. It really is very hard.

John: Also, this also started as a Nate/Sophie scene- a Nate/Sophie episode, talking about Nate about his issues about fatherhood and adopting. And because, as we broke this story, these kids didn’t show up until later, there was no way to fuel that, and so it became much more about Sophie’s issues with the acting, and really Parker’s and Hardison’s issues with their own upbringing.

Albert: Right, this is a great Parker episode. And I found that writing for Parker is actually the most fun for me. I mean, because on the surface she’s got all these emotional quirks and slightly Asperger's like aspects, which is fun to write for the comedic bits, but you also get the sense that deep down, she’s this- there’s this wellspring of darkness and blackness there which is really fun to play with.

Marc: And it was also fun shooting it, because as the story goes on, we take her to a place where I don’t think the audience is used to seeing her go.

John: I’m- no I saw the dalies of one of the later scenes, and I was like, that is probably one of the finer pieces of television acting I’ve seen in a long time.

Marc: Yes. I think there was a four letter word in the email you sent me.

John: We can swear on these by the way

Marc: Oh good!

John: Yeah, no problem. I’ve already done it quite a bit. The fact that i’m drinking in all of them doesn’t help.

Albert: This was Eliot’s face that was all damaged, that we had to write a quickie line for.

John: Ugh, yes. The lesbian bar’s a throwaway because SOMEBODY, in his weekly poker game with Tim Hutton and Saul Rubinek at 1 AM on a Saturday, went out to throw the football around and SOMEBODY was wearing his cowboy boots and went down on the sidewalk.

[All laugh]

John: Yeah, I actually laughed out loud when I walked in the trailer, it was great he was so worried. I walked in and I could not help but laugh, he went ‘it’s not funny man’ and I went ‘no no we’ll figure it out’. Amazingly by the way, the makeup managed to cover it. They built like a little mini prosthetic or something. It was only two scenes we had to really deal with it

Marc: Right.

Albert: We gave one of his scenes- some of his lines over to Sophie and other than that we covered it with his line here, which turned out to be a really funny line. And then his weird mutant healing power kicked in and he was ready to go.

John: Here’s when you realize shit-kicker has a genetic component. Because he is a country boy, and he really healed way faster than you should be able to.

Marc: And he was pulling things off of his face that normally your doctor wouldn’t suggest.

[All laugh]

John: ‘I’m just gonna get rid of this scab here guys and we’ll be ready to shoot’. By the way, I do need to give you a little bit of shit. Why is there a glamor photo of the orphan? Why is he doing the glamor photo pose with the little hand on the chest?

Marc: You know, I initially picked something a little…

Albert: Grittier?

Marc: Grittier and less posed. But Tim liked the black and white aspect with the dirt smudge on it, so...

John: The dirt smudge- tragic dirt smudge. Also our porniest writing run coming up.

[Laughter]

Chris: Yeah we did- we had great fun in the writers room for sure.

Albert: And I actually did Emmanuelle research and it was amazingly difficult to come up with a title for an Emmanuelle movie that hasn’t been taken. There’s like 50 of these things.

John: I want these views to realize that we have something called clearance, where we can’t duplicate things that already exist, so we can’t be sued for implying certain things about them. And so just fabricating goofy Emmanuelle titles took us, like, half a day because every time we had come up with something more ridiculous, it had been used.

Albert: ‘Emmanuelle Goes to Mars’? Oh that already exists. Made in 1984. Ohh, okay.

John: Right. It’s also interesting because the conversation about Emmanuelle basically ran the exact same way in the writers room as it does in this bit. With the guys like ‘oh those movies!’ and the girls are like ‘what? I have no idea.’ So Mark, you have a lovely transition coming up, so why don’t you- everyone, every director talks about the hell of shooting in the conference room, tell us how you tackled it. Tell us how you handled it.

Marc: Well I was- I was fortunate that I was able to not have too many green screens in our conference room. Actually the first thing we shot was all the surveillance footage from the park and we were able to get it into the conference room quick. But this, we did a push in and then a take over from a purchased shot.

Chris: Oh that’s great. Isn’t that terrific? I mean I think that- that’s gotta be a signature bit of this show.

John: Yeah. We should do that more often.

Marc: And this is the Masonic Lodge in beautiful downtown Pasadena.

[All laugh]

Albert: This is also a fun episode because I think it’s the first- maybe the only one we did in the first season, where we travel outside of the country and we have that sort of cosmopolitan feel where we’re going to Europe, and doing a little thing- little stuff outside of there. And the team’s-

John: A little Mission: Impossible.

All: Yeah.

Marc: And this is- Christian of course blocked this. He grabbed all of the prettiest extras and surrounds himself.

John: [laughs] He just grabs and brings them all over and- yeah. It’s a nice bit of- there’s a little bit of annoyance there. He’s developed a nice relationship between the two characters.

Chris: It’s great.

Albert: Originally this scene was written and it was a lot more elaborately choreographed, where Nate and Sophie were originally going to be dancing and in that ballroom with them. And it would’ve been fun to try, but it ultimately would’ve been crippling to do production-wise.

Chris: This is a fairly late add, but it was really great.

John: To explain why they were in the office.

Albert: To cover why they weren’t there.

John: And wound up being a really great joke. I love this joke. I love the ridiculousness of the tiara and that somebody would fall for it.

Marc: Still kept the tiara.

John: And- ‘I still got the tiara’ yeah. That’s a dirty little line. This is actually kind of the steamiest little exchange - one of them - that we have in the season. between the two of them where they argue over relationships and- Because it’s not about relationships, it’s about something else that happens to involve relationships.

Chris: Yeah.

John: That’s a good general writing rule. Is to never actually talk about the relationship, which we violated several times much to our regret. Also the Orange SQ the knockoff, the idea that Hardison is filled with rage he has to eat the knock off variants of his usual diet.

Chris: Lot of pitching on what a Eastern European beverage would be. Orange SQ.

John: And big props out to Derek, our computer graphics guy. This is an amazing episode for that.

Chris: He did a really good job.

John: Now where are we here? Are we in the hardest-working office in show business, but we’re on the soundstage?

Marc: Yes. We’re in the hardest-working office.

John: This is usually the villains office, we’re just shooting it from the other direction.

Marc: Yes. We just stripped out some stuff. Made it look like it was under construction.

John: Originally a van I believe.

Marc: Originally a van.

Albert: It looks like- was gonna be a van yeah.

John: Which we wound up stealing for the season finale. We ended up taking that idea and using it there.

Chris: Great little sequence of them coaching their- their counterparts at the party.

Albert: Now that was some fun research to do. About all the pickup artist techniques. Which is what Sophie ends up using to help coach Eliot. And so I got a lot of books on how to pick up women, and-

Chris: It’s always great when the wife gets- signs for those from Amazon.

John: ‘Oh hey, what’s from Amazon? Oh…’

Albert: ‘Yeah this is all for work, honey’.

Chris: Search and destroy the- the pickup artist.

John: By the way, that exterior shot - outside the balcony - we’re looking into a gymnasium there, I believe.

Marc: Yeah it’s like a big- a big auditorium.

John: It’s a beautiful green screen replacement. Yes, that was the entire idea, was that we ended up building a fake balcony on the end of an overlook that just looked into an auditorium.

Chris: There’s another- and again notice the Eastern European biscuits.

[All laugh]

John: Oh man that’s gorgeous, little bit of movement.

Chris: That’s a fantastic green screen.

Marc: Yeah we just added a bit of movement to a still shot to make it look like there’s cars or lights are moving.

John: The little laugh Parker does there, I love it’s one of the things that Ken Levine talks about this a M.A.S.H. writer who writes on a website. He says, you know, having characters laugh at things other character say is something that’s not done a lot, but it’s one of the ways you build that they have a relationship. You know they’re usually making jokes off each other, not together. It’s kind of a technique that’s not used a lot.

Marc: Kathleen was a great- great job playing this role.

John: Yeah. So great. So dismissive. Now all the things are techniques you found from your books, is that right?

Albert: That’s right. And no, I did not try them out, but I’m assured that they are all very effective techniques.

John: I swear you tried them out on me one time. I found myself really heavily entranced by you.

[Laughter]

Albert: Was that- was that not talking about it again?

Chris: Was it the- was it the anchoring? The backhanded compliment?

John: The anchoring. I totally took a bunch of these pictures I didn’t really like, but for some reason I couldn’t say no.

Marc: This is the- this is the first day of shooting without any facial damage on Christian.

[All laugh]

John: Really? Amazing that you managed to get around that, I have to say.

Chris: Now from a directing standpoint, was this the most difficult? With all the extras in? Or- I mean we had so many incredible breaking in this show.

John: This is a though show, it’s a bear.

Marc: I mean a lot of the shows are difficult, but I mean whenever you get into a comm sequence, you know you have to double the amount of time you spend shooting because you wanna cover it with their talking and their listening on all sides.

Chris: Yeah, right. So you have your options on what side of the conversation you want to cut to.

Marc: Yeah

John: So if you have a 5 page intercut comm sequence, it’s actually 10 pages of shooting.

Marc: Yeah, absolutely.

John: Which is interesting because that let us - again, welcome to television. Every show evolves over the course of the season; anyone who says otherwise is lying. Is the fact, if you notice that later episodes where we split the team up and don’t have them talk on the comms, they have very specific jobs that they can do, but don’t back chatter a lot. Because we realized we were killing the directors with the coverage.

Albert: Right. But I have to say in the end this sequence worked out great. The whole weaving back and forth, you just felt you know there’s a nice sense of urgency going on and a lot of fun banter.

John: Yeah.

Marc: Well that’s also because- there was so much coaching involved, that it was fun to cut back and forth to see the reactions. And also you know seeing Eliot playing the sophisticated and suave instead of just busting heads.

John: Yeah. That he has that in the toolbox and can you know... There’s actually- Yeah, we were saying, in Homecoming we have a reference where he says, ‘next time I’m wearing the suit…’ And we paid that off in the the Stork Job and in the finale. You know he does get to do the- he does get to wear the tux and be James Bond every now and then.

Albert: And later in this episode we have a sequence where Beth has a fight scene, and that’s another thing we haven’t seen Parker do before. And it was fun to be able to show that our team can take care of themselves, not- and that Eliot’s not the only one who’s...

John: And she has a very specific fighting style that takes advantage of the strength of her legs, and keeping people outside, and either staying outside their reach or stepping inside their- inside their reach. And Charlie Brewer again, it’s really great- I have a lot of fight guys who read my blog and I get a lot of emails from fight guys going ‘what the hell style is Christian Kane using? It’s such a mishmash’ and Charlie has this great vocabulary of fight styles for every situation. And this is- who is this actor?

Marc: David Lee.

Albert: David Hill- David Lee. yeah.

Chris and Marc: He was great.

John: And he really helped us on the language. And this is great - the intercutting, tell me about the intercutting flashbacks.

Chris: It was written this way.

Marc: it was written this way. The one thing I wanted to do was every time I shot the young Parker I said ‘let’s just do one’- I mean every time I shot the young boy, Luca, I said let’s just get one shot with Parker in it just in case it works. And it worked.

John: And it works. Very effective. And I love the idea that, you know, this is something we actually used as a joke in the finale- and right out onto the pad underneath the auditorium.

Chris: I just realized both your episodes she just leaps out of- leaps out of windows. It’s your motif.

Albert: That’s right I have her jumping a lot.

John: Do you have a macro? [laughs] Parker jumps out the window.

Albert: It’s on my keyboard - ‘Parker leaps out the window’. By the way that stunt even though it’s a fake balcony it was probably about a 10 foot drop down to the pads. And the stuntwoman just flew- threw herself out of the window. It was amazing. Afterwards we were all just stunned that she could do that.

John: I was gonna say the- the-

Albert: You’re mesmerized by Nate’s- Nate putting it all together.

John: I am. Nate’s had that moment where he realizes exactly what he needs to do there and moves us into the second con. It was about David Lee and it was gonna drive me crazy…

Chris: Just a little note about the con. People kinda talk about where do we come up with cons. And a lot of the times they are classic cons that we’re kind of adapting for our show. But this episode was interesting because we built our villain, Irena here, and the con kinda came out of the creative decisions we made about her character. So we decided she was a faded model and wannabe actress-

John: Because that would be the kind of place a grifter would come from.

Chris: Exactly. And we look at, when we’re looking at a con - is what’s our characters weakness? And when it’s money, it’s often greed. But in this case we thought her weakness was vanity and that’s what led to the movie - stealing the movie. Which really took the episode from a really dark Eastern European orphanages and brought a lightness to it that really elevated it.

John: There’s the blocking, there’s Mark Roscin blocking out that one side of Christian’s face.

Marc: Of Christians- one side of Christians face, that was fresh.

John: Yeah it was at this point actually that Apollo Robbins - our grifter consultant - he said you guys have become a fully functioning crime crew. You’re looking at the bad- your mark, and carving out around your mark rather than… Oh that’s it, the movie actually comes from, and again you do research, but a lot of the times everybody on the set, particularly the first AD, had worked on an Eastern European film. And we had heard so many horror stories by this point, that it really gave us the natural setting to do the con.

Chris: And Serbia is also, we found out, an emerging place where there’s a lot of film productions.

John: Right. I like the sleazy- sleazy producer and sleazy director, it’s the writers fantasy of how horrible they are. This is- is this shot by Jonathan Frakes or the other shot?

Chris and Albert: No the other one.

Marc: No the- the end shot of Kathleen. That was- we just put a fake ATM machine on the side of the stage.

John: Yeah it was parking- that was the stage and then the parking lot for the other one, yeah.

Chris: Oh here we go.

Albert: Here’s our set. I love this set.

Marc: You know what? So many people did because it reminded them of their early, like, coreman days where a lot of us started out.

Albert: Well the funny thing was is- well the way it was written, this movie that we’re showing - the set - was supposed to be kinda cheesy and cheap and a little bit B-movie production. And then when it came time to actually be creating it, I found out that our crew doesn’t really- can’t really do cheesy and cheap.

[All laugh]

Albert: They kept wanting to make it better and better and we were in these meetings where they were asking to put more flocking [transcriber clarification: fake snow] on the trees and we were like ‘we don’t need any more flocking on the trees’.

John: ‘I don’t even know what flocking is - what are you people doing?’ It was great because at one point watching this- the set looks so good, at one point watching it was like, you know we could just finish this movie. We could shoot this out and sell it to sci-fi and have it on Saturday nights.

Marc: This is one of my favorite transitions and I have to thank Dave Connell for it.

Chris: Oh, that’s great.

John: This is from the stunt man right?

Marc: Yeah.

Chris: But that was your- wasn’t that- that was your stunt man entrance? I think we were talking about that.

Marc: Yeah we wanted to have-

Albert: It was originally a cut right?

Marc: Yeah but unfortunately it- the crane could only go from that height so we had to figure out how we go from-

John: -from five feet to two feet, cinematically.

Marc: Yeah, exactly.

Albert: I have to say, of all the things of all the things I had to deal with working on this script, I think I spent the most time coming up with the title of the fake movie.

[Laughter]

Albert: I sat there for half an hour going like, ‘Wolf Wars?’

Chris: It’s absolutely perfect.

Albert: ‘Dog Fights? Dog Fighters?’

John: No seriously, we could sell this.

Albert: We should make Howl Force.

Marc: So many people want to see it.

John: The Howl Force chair backs have become quite the collectors item, actually. To show that you’ve bought the set for Howl Force.

Chris: Nate as a director…

John: This is one of our 360’s.

Marc: Yeah just steadicam-ing the whole time.

John: You didn’t lay track?

Marc: No, just steadicam. You know I was just trying to make the day, and- [laughs]

John: Well actually Mark give a brief- cause your career is kind of the prototypical Hollywood career in its length and oddity. How did you get into the business?

Marc: I actually- my first job I was a PA on Roland and Dean’s first movie- studio movie. Universal Soldier. So I was a PA and I went from AD-

Chris: PA like Parker right here!

Marc: Like Parker right here, yes.

Chris: Couldn’t be a better-

Marc: And I believe I wore that exact same, like, 80’s/90’s headset.

Chris: So kids out there, wondering whether you should take that PA job? Here we go.

Marc: Take it.

John: So PA to AD. Did you do AD?

Marc: PA to AD and then assistant for role and I just kept reading all their scripts. And that’s when I met you, and we brought you in for Carrier.

John: Oh that’s right, yeah.

Marc: And I just doing making notes and giving them to Roland and Dean and they basically said ‘well you’re already doing it, so why don’t you run Development for us?’ And then it was- being on set and saying you know we need an insert of a book. Now we need an insert of a book and a hand. All right now we need an insert of a person grabbing a book and walking. And then it just kept going.

John: Now we need an insert of a person grabbing the book and walking on a flaming train.

Marc: Yeah, yeah exactly. It just kept getting bigger, and you know I was always trying to just give him a little more. Cause the one thing I learned from Dean is, give your editor as many options as you can.

Albert: And this is one of my favorite shots coming up, and I think it was your idea.

Chris: Oh this is great.

Albert: When Sophie floats into view. It’s one of the highlights.

John: And it should be over the top and it’s not. It’s actually perfect. It’s-

Chris: Yeah well you- you put in the wheel sound. Got the ‘eee-eee-eee’

John: She’s being wheeled in.

Chris: We know she’s not actually floating.

John: This is, by the way, a beautiful distillation of how producers deal with scripts. The whole problem Eliot has with the script is that he’s acting like a producer here. ‘You have an effects sequence! You know what this’ll cost us!’

Marc: Even the way he grabs it out of her hands here.

[Laughter]

Marc: I just love it.

John: ‘Fine. Alright. I’ll go fine the first AD and we’ll block this out.’ This is one of my favorite scenes of the entire series.

Marc: Yeah, I really like this scene. It was- and we did it pretty simple.

John: This is our real craft service table.

Albert: I love how skimpy this craft service table is. A little orange there.

[Laughter]

John: Just for a bit. Just to give her something. Eating is always good, actors love to eat. Gives them something to do with their hands.

Chris: She likes to eat grapes.

Marc: I think this is one of my favorite lines in the movie. ‘This is- this is a movie about NATO soldiers being attacked by werewolves. There is no emotional payout’

[Laughter]

John: This is great- I don’t if we kept this, I think it got cut, but she does like a, ‘typical’. Just like the typical director bullshit.

Chris: ‘Typical.’ Yeah, I think that’s in there.

John: Yeah the genuine- the fact that it’s not all flirty, or not all sexual. That there’s a genuine friendship and he really cares about her feelings, it lands in a really nice way.

Chris: Yeah.

Marc: And it was great because the one note I had for Gina was like, this is your world - this is where you wanna be. You know as soon as you walked out of the van in the previous scene, she started looking around and so she really grabbed it.

John: And that’s also the big- the big eyes? The big girl eyes? Where she’s really excited? She doesn’t- we don’t give her that a lot. Cause she’s cunning. The thing is Sophie’s got so many emotional layers between herself and the rest of the team, that in a setting where she doesn’t have them, it’s great to see that that’s what’s underneath.

Marc: And their lines were so good you didn’t notice the snow I had going in front of that big light.

[All laugh]

Chris: Oh wow! That’s beautiful.

John: Wow, that’s beautiful! We’ll take a moment now, and-

Chris: Yeah, that looks great.

John: That is a director who is thinking about their background. I will say that right now man you- you put some depth into that shot.

Albert: This is- this is Sophie’s death scene, which is I think one of the first scenes we shot on the set. And it was one of those things where everyone came down to watch this. All the actors, even if they weren’t in the scene they came down to watch, all the writers, everyone came down and sat there

John: Most of the background photos from this episode, everyone is in it because it’s this scene, yeah.

Marc: Right.

Albert: But it was great because after Gina does this scene, and she does an amazing job with it, and after Mark called cut there was a round of applause. We all just sat there an applauded.

John: Are these the NATO guys or this- is this the flashback to the Nazis? I can never remember.

Albert: These are the NATO guys and no one ever stops to bother- wonder why NATO guys are chasing a nun.

Chris: Well I always thought that she- they thought that she had the infection of the werewolf?

Albert: That’s right - that is the backstory.

Chris: That’s how I always envisioned it.

John: That is a beautiful shot, by the way.

Marc: Yeah, thank you.

Albert: Shafts of light through the bullet holes.

John: Marc- I remember talking about how to pull that off. Like so do we-

Chris: How did you get the shafts of light through the bullet holes?

Marc: You know I don’t remember what movie, but there are so many movies that are done at night, bullets going through the door. And I even think we had some of that at the end, that originally in. Where like the garage was going to be shot up?

Albert: Yeah. we were going to try to do that.

Chris: Do you remember- how many takes was this? Do you remember?

John: Three. Two or three.

Marc: Yeah, no more than that.

John: Cause I was there that day and you got it- she banged it out first time. It was really a wonderful scene.

Marc: And we also had the XD camera pointed at her, so we can actually see what Nate is seeing on the monitor.

Albert: This- this was a really fun day. A really fun day

John: This is when you feel like you’re making a movie. This is when you feel like- when you’ve got people in costumes and dudes in soldier outfits, yeah. It really feels like you’re making a movie. ‘Oh this is great!’

Chris: [laughs] I love him going back to the character.

John: Yeah he goes back to the character after he explains.

Albert: And you got the sense that Tim was channeling, kind of, years of frustrating experiences with directors into this character and sort of paying them back somehow.

John: Yeah. There is some director out there right now who’s watching this and is like ‘son of a bitch!’

Chris: ‘Oh alright maybe I shot a gun to start a scene. It was one time!’

John: ‘One time!’

[All laugh]

John: So how did you do the door thing? I mean our actors are pretty fearless, did you just tell Gina to stand up against the door and blow up some squibs or what?

Marc: Well I said you know we’re gonna have squibs and we can do it with the stunt and then put you in. And she goes ‘well if they’re not gonna be that close I’d like to do it.’ You know, and I just checked with everybody saying, ‘is this cool, is this safe?’ and they said yeah so she went for it.

John: Where’s firearms? He’s off the set. Don’t worry about that it’s fine, she agreed to it.

Chris: Here’s another example, in typical con movies you show- kinda explain what the con is. And we really- I mean we talk a little bit about- in this one we kinda drop the audience in.

Albert: In the movie con?

Chris: Yeah. You know they steal the movie, you don’t know exactly how it’s gonna pay off.

Albert: Right, you don’t know what the goal is here, but part of the idea is kind of you’re having so much fun on the set, and you also, as we saw in the previous scene, Sophie is sort of outside of the con. She’s indulging her own personal weakness really - her desire to make a move. So she’s as much interested in making a movie as she is in pulling off the con. But then as it progresses and you figure out where this is headed, you figure out the team is trying to have Irena pull the kid into the movie.

John: It’s like the difference between an open mystery and a closed mystery. The old Columbo’s a closed mystery you know who did it and it’s just a matter of chasing them down. This is a closed episode. You’re kinda figuring it out as the bad guys would be figuring it out. And we make the choice depending on what works in each episode. Sometimes we’ll try it one way and we’ll flip it in the script in another. Because sometimes you want the audience to know exactly what’s going to happen because it’s about to get horribly complicated and you want to make sure-

Chris: This one’s pretty simple once you solve what’s going on.

John: End of day it’s to get the kid to the set. It’s not rocket science.

Albert: Exactly, right.

John: Where are we? We’re at Long Beach.

Marc: Yeah we’re in San Pedro.

John: We’re in chilly San Pedro, make sure you get the stocking caps because it’s frigid down there.

Albert: Yeah, we spent quite a bit of time at this warehouse.

Marc: Yes we did.

John: Well we shot two episodes in a row here.

Albert: Right, and then we shot Juror.

John: Yeah, the Juror Job is in the warehouse across the street, right?

Albert: Mm-hmm.

John: And this blow by the way, at the end of this episode was magnificent. It was so big. I was actually in the parking lot because they wouldn’t let us down because it was so big they closed it off.

Marc: Oh yeah?

John: I actually felt it in my car.

Marc: Yeah the heat. I couldn’t believe the heat. And you know, we’ll talk about it later, we even had our actor out in front.

Chris: This- this-

Marc: This is one of my favorite sequences because I was able to get enough coverage to really not cheat it and really feel what Parker was feeling.

Albert: I have to say when I saw that set in real life, it was so grim. The art department did such an amazing job. You walked in and got a wave of emotion.

John: Well they got photos of a Romanian orphanage, did you know that? They went online and got photos of a Romanian orphanage and recreated it on the set.

Chris: But it’s- so what was your approach here, Mark? In terms of making- cause we were having so much fun in this episode, so making sure this landed.

Marc: Yeah I just wanted- I didn’t want to make it too scary, but I just wanted to be in her shoes and use a lot of moving POV so we get the feeling. And just keep it quiet so we could really be with Parker in there.

John: Yeah.

Chris: And the lighting and the color really adds a lot of-

Marc: Yeah we just kept- most of this stuff in this episode, we graded it blue so it’s cold- so it really feels cold.

John: Well in one of the other commentaries, Dean talks about the fact that each episode is sort of color corrected on it’s own theme. And this very much feels like a European orphanage.

Marc: And even you know, our costume designer kept all the kids in gray, drab colors.

John: I suggested drugging them so they’d be more lethargic, but all of a sudden I’m the bad guy for drugging the kids and I wasn’t allowed on the set again.

[All laugh]

Albert: And we ended up dealing- about how many kids did we have again? Like 20?

Marc: 20. 20 kids.

Albert: That’s a lot.

Marc: I started with 8 but Dean said ‘you can’t have an orphanage with just 8 kids’. Okay.

John: That’s like a- a tee ball team.

Albert: That’s one of the great things about working with Dean. It’s like you sit there and think, most producers will come back to you and say ‘let’s make it a little more self contained, let’s make it a little more manageable, use less kids.’ Dean is always like ‘No, let’s blow it up; do a bigger explosion; let’s add more kids.’

John: That’s the great thing about having you know, the studio be effectively your creative partner, is that end of day, he’s going to put the quality of the show ahead of- if it’s a tie between fiduciary concerns and quality of show, quality of show is going to win. Which is not necessarily the situation a lot of other times.

Marc: Yeah and he knows where to spend it on. Which is great.

John: Yeah. Explosions are surprisingly cheap actually. They’re not that pricey. Orphans on the other hand, incredibly expensive. We wound up just going to a supermarket and just grabbing a lot of kids from the parking lot, and returning them at the end of the day before it hit the news.

[Laughter]

Marc: It’s amazing what a bag of gummy bears can do.

John: Yeah, you wanna be in a movie, here’s a bag of gummy bears, and boom. Yeah you know it’s four hours of a day, what are they doing? They’re not doing anything else. And this is also- storing the guns in hospitals and orphanages that’s true, based on a real thing that happened in the first war, during the air war.

Albert: That’s true. This is probably my favorite scene.

Chris: I think that’s something we made up, that turned out to be true.

John: No, no we knew that. We researched that. Albert was a journalist man, he brought the game on this one.

Chris: I feel like we…

Albert: This was probably my favorite scene this episode, it’s such- it was such a delicate dynamic between the two of them, and I remember talking to Beth before the scene saying that I was actually more nervous about this scene than about the explosion which we did earlier in the day, and she was the same. But the two of them together were just amazing.

John: Look at how just delicate she is there, how unraveled she is - how much she’s unraveling there.

Albert: And you never see that from Parker.

John: That kind of dead smile she does, it’s really just the performance- for her it’s the performance of the show, and really the entire season.

Chris: We watched this daily over and over again. We were working on other things and we were all gathered around it.

John: Oh yeah, we had this in the writers room and we must’ve watched it 10 times. Yup. And remember, we’re watching dailies on like a three inch screen on a computer, because we have digital dailies. We’re watching it uncut, only one direction, and we couldn’t stop watching it, it was really fantastic.

Albert: And this was late, this was late in the day.

John: Yeah, well it’s at night guys and you’re outside, duh. [Laughs]

Marc: It was a lot of work, yeah. It was tricky because there was so much noise going on, there were like party boats, and music, and the two of them really hung in there. And Dave did such a good job lighting it, I mean he-

Chris: There were party boats? Like during this incredibly emotional scene there was like ‘Whooo!!!’

John and Marc: Yeah!

John: Behind them, in one of the mixes you can hear [sings].

Albert: Yeah there was some booze cruise going by at one point.

John: That’s one of the things that makes a director really just wanna get a stinger missile and just clear the set.

Marc: Yeah.

John: Remember that chopper? When we shot the pilot? That chopper that just hovered over us that entire outside sequence.

Albert: Oh, in Chicago?

John: In Chicago we had a chopper that just hovered over us for 45 minutes. And it would go away, and we would call action, and it would come back and just circle back over us.

Albert: Was it a traffic copter or-?

John: Yeah. Oh she’s great. Look at her just dissolve when he says that, oh that’s a lovely bit of work. And then she shuts down again. Sorry, I know we have this rule where we’re not supposed to just watch the show, but damn she’s great. And he’s great too, he really grounds it there, you really find there’s a depth to him there and it’s not just a guy with a crush. You know, he’s really trying to help her there.

Chris: And we ride the line between the being flirtatious and brother/sister. There’s always a protection feeling.

John: Well it’s a distinct contrast in that, Nate and Sophie came into this with a sexual component in play. But they had not developed the emotional component, and so it goes wrong on them during the course of the season. Where the entire point was Hardison and Parker come into it from a totally business worker, coworker, and because they have to learn to trust during the course of the season, that’s how their relationship evolves.

Chris: They’re like step-siblings. [Laughs] Could go either way.

John: Step-siblings with a little bit of heat. They’re like Princess Leia and Luke.

Albert: Step-siblings with potential.

[All laugh]

John: Oh man, that’s a really horrible thing. This is great scene that should be incredibly dull, and instead is incredibly interesting

Chris: It’s really dramatically done, with the roundy round.

Marc: Yeah, we did a 360 on this.

John: And again, steadicam or track?

Marc: No, this was track.

Albert: Oh you used the circular track on this, right?

Marc: We used the circular track on this. Cause I think the actors when they first walked into it, they just saw chairs facing each other and were like ‘What? How?’-

Chris: It plays great. You have the equipment-

Marc: I said, trust me the movements gonna make it feel different and that sense of movement is gonna not make it look stale.

John: Now from a directors standpoint, you know how this is gonna cut together. So how do you decide what movement you wanted, how much coverage did you get on this?

Albert: Did you have two cameras going?

Marc: At one time we had two cameras, but they were getting in the way of each other. We had two dollies on the track and then we pulled one. Just because the one- A camera would always have to avoid the B. So you really gotta pay attention, make sure you have a good script supervisor to make sure you’re really nailing every line on camera. Getting two different sizes on everybody, and trying to keep the eyelines right.

John: Yeah. So you- did you wind up doing circular a couple times and then picking up your singles afterwards?

Marc: Yeah.

John: And then just letting Gary hunt, let Gary search for it?

Marc: Exactly. And after, Gary got a feel for the dialogue, he knew when to come off and pick to focus on the other actors.

John: Cause you pull focus a couple times too. And that’s something people don’t know, it’s that the camera operator has to know the script pretty much- better than anybody.

Marc: And god bless, Troy can just pull focus so well, he just nailed so many things.

John: Yeah, there’s a lot of ways that scene should’ve just laid there but instead it’s really dramatic and moving.

Albert: The other challenge we had in this episode was all the different languages we were playing with. We were playing with a set in Serbia, and we had Russians. We had Czechans.

Chris: Russian is sort of the default.

John: Language of crime?

Albert: Bad guys, yeah. We could’ve done that but you know someone out there would’ve complained that we weren’t being truthful.

John: Yeah, no, we got everybody. And the thing is a lot of people don’t know that there’s no central depository for language in film. We have to hunt up people every time and a lot of time-

Marc: Get translations.

John: A lot of actors pretend to be native speakers, but turn out not to be native speakers.

Marc: Well Kathleen speaks fluent Russian so that was helpful. So did David.

John: So did David. So that was great, we really got actors who knew how to speak the language.

Marc: And this is sorta different from Sophie’s, Sophie’s I wanted to be sorta inside the set during her chase, make it feel like it was part of a low budget movie. This we just stepped back and got behind the crew, cause it’s more about the con.

Chris: It’s more about the con. And we’ve sorta seen- we’ve been in the reality of the fake movie already.

Marc: And you’ll see when we track across, we’ll track behind the crew.

Chris: It’s a nice choice.

John: Well, when you’ve been doing it for 20 years.

Albert: The whole idea was that, you know, Irena’s death was supposed to be a counter balance to Sophie’s death. Which Sophie pulls it off nuanced and graceful, and she’s totally over the top and horrible.

[Laughter]

Chris: I love the helmet. Love the helmet.

Marc: Yeah, it was one of my hallmark requests. I had to have the clawed helmet.

John: We got a good 10, 17, 20 minutes of Howl Force, it needs- we really just need like 60 more.

Chris: Now is this- did we have to get a puppeteer?

John: Yes. we needed a puppeteer.

Marc: Yeah this was Pat [Bantor??], our stunt coordinator. We just show him, we don’t even have to hide him.

[Laughter]

Marc: Yeah it’s just like sock puppets and a hat.

John: Because if you have a guy with a sock puppet with a claw on it, that is free.

Chris: What vein did he get? Did he get the carotid artery? What vein did he get?

John: He got the carotid artery. If you have a wolf claw on a stick, that is a union gig, that is a puppeteer, that is an ungodly amount of money.

Albert: One of my favorite moments was when the prop people came over to you with a basket full of claws on sticks. ‘Which is the one we’re going to use here?’

[All laugh]

Marc: Yeah.

Albert: Let’s go with the long claws.

Chris: Takes you back- makes you think back to your days as a journalist, huh?. What a long strange ride it’s been that I’m looking at a basket full of claws.

Albert: Surprisingly I’ve been in news meetings that were very similar.

[Laughter]

John: This is also- I remember when this happened in the writers room cause we were trying to figure out how to end the goddamn show. We realized the trick was to basically end our regular episode in Act 4. And let Act 5 essentially be a free standing act rather than trying to combine the two. Cause remember we came in and took the card off and boom, just that one act all laid out. And then just backtracked for what we needed to set up.

Marc: I thought the woman who played the mom, Stacey Moseley, did a great job. And my buddy from college, David Castellani.

John: Oh, is that the dad? The dad that got his ass kicked?

Marc: The dad that got his ass kicked, yeah.

John: That’s lovely. You can believe that he’d want to go home with her. Everything’s going to be fine. People asked how they get him out of the country. Our guys forged the papers, plainly-

Chris: People have asked that?

John: Yeah, and it’s like do you think the Leverage team does things halfway? No. If they steal an orphan for you, you get all the providence. You get all the documents and yeah. They’re not gonna make you go buy a passport on the black market. That’s half service. And there’s them pretending to be cold in 98 degree weather.

Marc: Exactly.

Chris: Oh yeah, that’s right.

John: And yeah this is where we basically show Parker going off the reservation. And again this is one of the ones that should be seen in the second half of the show, maybe even right after Bank Shot, where you see that they’re gonna start going the extra mile for each other.

Chris: Yeah.

John: And then oh yeah, the choreography of figuring out how she got to the orphanage ahead of them and how far away it was and…

Chris: Yeah it was intricate, it was tricky

John: And that’s why the act break helps. The great thing about an act break in television structure is, it’s like the gutter in a comic book page. The audience- the brain automatically fills in details. That space, by the way, between panels is called a gutter.

Chris: Thank you, thank you very much, I appreciate that. You learn a lot from these commentaries

John: [Unintelligible] guide to understanding comics by the way, it’s a great book.

Chris: It’s the gutter; I didn’t know that. The jump, by the way, from the world of journalism, is the continued page.

John: Really? I didn’t know that.

Albert: Yeah when it says see page A18, that’s the jump.

John: So do you write around the jump?

Chris: You don’t pay any attention to where the jump is.

Albert: No [laughs]. You do pay attention to the fold, on broad sheets, whether it’s above or below the fold.

John: Oh my favorite bit. Bad translation is always amusing.

Chris: It’s always fun.

Marc: Looking in a dictionary,

John: ‘Make your tomato shiny’ and then just going out ‘okay let’s go!’ she plainly has no plan here. Parker is running utterly on instinct which is something she doesn’t do and it’s great to see her out of control. Completely working on emotion.

Chris: ‘Sadden you.’

John: ‘Men will sadden you’ yeah. There you go, ‘c’mon kids, let’s go’. The kids were great by the way, didn’t have a lame kid. One kid was kinda...

Marc: Yeah. One kid was a little problematic, but otherwise.

John: Nothing like firing a five year old.

Chris: This one you probably don’t want them to be too smiley, I’m guessing.

John: Well we told them, actually, that their parents had really died, and that really sold it.

[Laughter]

Chris: Here’s our fight.

John: ‘Oh shiny tomato’. And then there was the whole ‘we can’t do the fight scene in front of the kids’ so we had to move the fight scene outside, yeah. Beth worked hard for this, she did a great job.

Chris: She’s great.

John: That’s- again the actors really love doing this stuff. Because you know what you do in a lot of other TV shows? You carry a briefcase and talk about how the client isn’t guilty as you walk from one house to the other.

Marc: Right

John: And then the star goes and has a good scene.

Chris: And Albert great payoff to the wounding with the fork.

Albert: Yeah, the way she pushes into his shoulder.

John: Yeah a lot of people miss that, that’s actually how she gets the upper hand, is she pushes into the wound from earlier in the show.

Albert: Yeah.

John: Bang! She’s using her knees, using all the hard parts of her body. That’s actually an Israeli fighting style. ‘Okay!’ and then she comes back in and everything’s great.

Marc: ‘Let’s go! C’mon!’

Chris: Here we go, saving an orphanage.

John: No that’s actually the- god what’s it- is it Sabra? What’s the Israeli fighting style?

Chris: Krav Maga?

John: No, it’s a slightly different style, it’s a commando style. It uses all the unbreakable parts of the body that Charlie gave her. Cause that’s what she would use, she would use strike points rather than brute strength. Again, thorough- oh and what would you do with a staircase full of orphans, as the song goes.

Marc and Chris: Yeah.

Marc: We- we cast, as those three thugs, stunt guys, because later on they’re going to be quite close to an explosion. And I thought they did a pretty good job, they made it work.

John: They were appropriately thuggish. They’re men who live by violence, and hence they’re comfortable with it.

Marc: Yeah, exactly.

John: I love how- he doesn’t mention he got his ass kicked by a girl there, by the way.

Albert: The internal choreography of this was interesting too because it was one thing to write it in the script, and then you get to the location and you had to readjust it all to make use of the existing architecture there.

John: Yeah, that was you and I in that trailer outside the embassy, once we’d been to the location going ‘okay there’s no second level, there’s no staircases’, yeah.

Albert: Yeah. And then we just adjusted as it works.

Marc: Here we don’t even have to see Eliot kick somebody’s ass, you just know.

John: Yeah you just know he’s kicked an enormous number of orphan stealing, gun running asses. I wanted the door to come off the hinges but you wouldn’t do that for me. That was very selfish of you, just saying. You were too busy blowing up the place to really focus on the smaller details.

Marc: Yeah, exactly.

John: This bus is great, by the way.

Chris: Yeah, really made great use of this bus.

John: There’s the effects moment. And, by the way, she acts the hell out of that.

Chris and Marc: She does.

Chris: She reacts almost as if she’s been hit.

John: And it’s a lovely- I love the little ‘screw you’ read from Sophie, that’s very nice. With the X’s, it’s all set up.

Albert: And I don’t know if I ever noticed that the reason she throws herself against the opening is to protect the kids.

Chris and Marc: Yeah.

John: Yeah it’s one of the little, again, details of your creation. You build a character and even if you don’t consciously register it-

Marc: And you just get the little look from Nate in the rearview.

John: Boom, and that’s kind of a badass move there as Hardison walked in- walked by. That’s nice.

Albert: This thing- we were, what 100, 125 feet from this and the heatwave was unbelievable

Chris: Was it really?

Albert: Oh, it was just-

John: this is the second time we’ve set off a major explosion in the most important port in America with little or no permission.

Chris: Now what’s- this is cork? A lot of that’s-

Marc: Yeah, it’s a lot of cork,.

Albert: The debris was cork, right. But it was a gas explosion,

John and Marc: Yeah.

Marc: But we were initially gonna blow door- fake garage doors, but we just avoided them and just had the explosions go off. And here we make the villain suffer.

John: It’s like somebody does our gloat for us there. Cause usually we have a gloat moment, and it’s really the bad guy- and then we get the money come- by the way, how did you get the money to rain down from the sky? Cause in the pilot, remember when we tried to do that? It took us all day.

Marc: It’s took forever.

Chris: Did you have somebody on a ladder-?

Marc: He was a 12 step ladder, and it was, ‘more to the left, more to the right’.

John: Young directors, don’t have stuff rain out of the sky. It’s not worth the time or effort.

Marc: Yeah

John: You know, it’s one shot. Yes, this is how we explain-

Chris: That bus is perfect.

Marc: And notice that we didn’t have children so we just put curtains in the bus so you didn’t have to see them. The first line they say when they get there ‘they’re all asleep’.

Chris: Right.

John: As one would be after escaping from an orphanage and seeing an explosion, right?

[All laugh]

Chris: Sure.

John: You’d collapse in exhaustion from relief.

Chris: Strangers take you away from your orphanage, you’re going to sleep.

John: [laughs] Really? You’re going to sleep, you’re gonna take a nap. Cause you don’t know what’s coming up the next day.

Chris: Oh it works, it works.

John: It’s fine!

Albert: This was the second unit directed by Jonathan Frakes.

John: Jonathan Frakes, who was doing the next episode, was nice enough to pick this up. And that’s basically the shoe string budget that a lot of these movies are made on by the way. It is ATM based filmmaking.

Marc: This is a nice funny moment.

John: Yeah, she wants the footage. For her reel- I love the idea that Sophie’s got a reel.

Chris: Yeah

[Laughter]

John: Oh and so hurt, so betrayed. I think Tim drops it seriously here. We were saying how it started in one episode and it spread throughout all of them.

Marc: Yeah, right here. Here it is.

John: Yeah and Eliot trying to dodge responsibility. And again a nice- a second nice moment up here. It’s tricky you wanna, you know. We’re making pulp. We’re making pulp television, not even genre pulp. You want to do heart but without walking on it, and this is a great scene.

Marc: This is a really nice scene, she plays it well and so does he.

John: Pissed off is the right choice there, it’s actually kind of nice.

Marc: And how can you be mad at that?

John: Except when she misses her calls and then you want to kill her, but… and then the goofy- and that’s the thing he’s got in his acting vocabulary, he’s able to take the edge off the fact that he’s a very imposing, good looking guy.

Chris: Look and the nice ending shot that goes up, and the Haagen-Dazs.

John: Nice shot with the Haagen-Dazs.

Albert: And that’s the Stork Job.

Chris: And anything else?

John: This is where you get to say something- anything you want to say? Oh and ALbert! You- did you have a family member in this episode?

Albert: My daughter was one of the orphans, she was in the red overalls if you wanna go back and check.

John: And by the way we kept saying should we have a Korean orphan,

Albert: There are actually a very large number of Asian orphans in Serbia, they were- we didn’t get into the facts behind it, but it’s factually accurate.

Marc and Chris: Factually accurate.

John: Nothing like using your own daughter to further your career, nicely done. [Laughs]

#Leverage #Leverage TNT #Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts #Audio Commentary #Transcripts #Parker #Alec Hardison #Elliot Spencer #Nate Ford #Sophie Deveraux #Season 1 #Episode 9 #Season 1 Episode 9 #The Stork Job

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