#I know we have a few more chapters left but those chapters aren’t going to fix anything for me

[bxriles]

I gotta be honest, the ending of JJK isn’t doing it for me. It feels underwhelming. And before anyone freaks tf out and tells me that I “can’t read” or that I “didn’t understand the point of JJK” I can promise you that I did. I understand and I can read between the lines and make inferences. I can also promise you that I know just because the ending isn’t my cup of tea, does not mean that the ending is objectively bad. I get all of that.

And yet, I still think the execution was fumbled and I think that’s a bummer. In a desperate need to be *different* from the rest of Shonen manga, I think the last 10-15ish chapters have felt incredibly similar to the rest of the genre. At least, in my opinion they have.

Argue with the wall if this post pissed you off. I’m allowed to post my opinion on my blog.

[messyoungie]

HABITS TO DROP WHEN GETTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER

➝ CREATING UNAUTHENTIC & UNINTENTIONAL GOALS

the biggest mistakes you can make when creating goals is making goals that aren’t true to you and making goals for the sake of making goals.

it can be so exciting when you decide to get your life together. I mean, of course it is! there are so many possibilities! but when you start planning, don’t just write down the goals you see circulating on social media. what works for someone else may not be what works for you. don’t make your goals and habits based on what’s trending or popular in the self improvement community.

think about what you actually need for a minute. what is actually necessary? your goals and habits aren’t here to be glamorous, they’re here to help regardless of how simple or small they are. the point of thinking up new habits is to improve your life, so be intentional with your goals. what will practicing this habit or achieving this goal give you?

when you’re first starting out, your goals don’t have to be anything too crazy or intense. for example, let’s say you want to become a pink pilates girl and get into fitness. you shouldn’t jump right into it and say your goal is to work out for 2 hours 5 times a week. let’s consider some factors first. have you been living a completely sedentary kind of lifestyle? then try looking for exercises that’ll wake up dormant muscles. your goal should then be to repeat those exercises for how ever many times a week. then you’ll work your way up from there. (it’s important we don’t harm the body, so be mindful with your fitness goals.) what about your schedule? how much time can you actually give to working out? can your body even endure working out for that long?

anyways, hopefully you see what I mean. when creating goals, it’s not about having the “aesthetic” habits and goals that you may see on tiktok or tumblr. it’s about doing what is actually good for you and what’ll help you the most with where you are now in your journey. so please put some thought into your goals and where they’ll take you. creating unauthentic and unintentional habits will also mean you’ll be less likely to keep practicing them after a few times. at the end of the day, that doesn’t help you achieve anything and you’re left with a broken promise you’ve made to yourself. which leads me to my next point…

➝ NOT KEEPING YOUR WORD WHEN IT COMES TO YOU

let me start off by saying this— if you don’t even listen to yourself, why should anyone else? (harsh, ik)

a HUGE reason as to why people have no self confidence is because they don’t listen to themselves or keep the promises they’ve made to themselves. if you have no self trust, how could you have any self confidence?

now, building discipline can definitely be a challenge so if you want to start somewhere easy, nip your false promises in the bud and stop yourself from making them. that’s what I did when I was first trying to stop this habit. when my addiction to tiktok was at its peak I would always tell myself the usual “ten more minutes and then I’ll stop scrolling.” when I wanted to stop making false promises, I knew I had no control or discipline so the only thing I could do is be real with myself. I’d cut myself off when I heard myself say “five more minutes” because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. if I wasn’t going to quit my bad habit, then the least I could do is be honest with myself.

the things that you are constantly telling yourself, whether they’re mindless or intentional, matter.

so, stop telling yourself seemingly harmless lies. unnecessary false promises that you know are false will only fill you with tension.

➝ SEEING FAILURE AS AN INVITATION TO GIVE UP

this applies to so many things.

you wanted to be consistent with your reading goals but haven’t read a chapter in a week? dont give up. don’t tell yourself that being consistent is too hard for you, that since you missed a week this habit isn’t for you. make your goal a bit easier or give yourself another chance.

you wanted to spend more time doing art but it’s not turning out how you expected? dont give up. dont give yourself the title of a “bad artist” and never pick up a pencil again. move forward, give yourself another chance.

you wanted to quit your Instagram addiction but after a couple days you went back to scrolling for hours on ig reels? Don’t give up. dont tell yourself that this addiction isn’t gonna go away, don’t go back to the bad habit because you slipped up. give yourself another chance.

I think a lot of us (myself included) tend to give up at the first sign of failure, instead of reminding ourselves to keep going. it’d be wonderful if you could get it right on the first try. if you could read ten books a month right away after not reading a book in three years. if you could watch hours worth of tutorials and sketch the perfect portrait on the first attempt. if you could uninstall instagram for good and never feel the urge to go back. that would all be so amazing, but it’s not always the reality. expect the best from yourself and do the best you can, but also give yourself some compassion. keep in mind that you won’t always do things perfectly right away and that’s one thousand percent okay. when you feel yourself slipping up on your brand new goal, don’t end it there at the first failure. allow yourself to move forward, because the only other direction to move is backwards.

[rosamariaa]

my top 5 favorite book wolfstar moments

this is all for funsies. I'm going to be very honest here: I don't really think wolfstar is implied in the books, but I feel like if I put my shipper googles I CAN prove that those two were, at least, a bit weird about each other!

1. Remus "ideals" going askrew for Sirius:

We have two moments in the books where we see Remus being pretty ruthless when it came to the war, he thinks that if there's a way to put a enemy down then you should do it:

prisioner of azkaban, chapter eighteen:

"You should have realized," said Lupin quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter."

deathly hollows, chapter 5:

Lupin looked aghast. “Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to capture and kill you! At least Stun if you aren’t prepared to kill!”

However, when he was talking to Harry about Sirius reciving the dementor's kiss this is what Mr. Lupin has to offer:

prisioner of azkaban, chapter twelve:

[...] Lupin drank a little more butterbeer, then said, "It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black. It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry have given the dementors permission to perform it if they find him." [...] "He deserves it," [harry] said suddenly. "You think so?" said Lupin lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"

This makes me actually go bonkers like... When he found out it was Peter all along he was full on ready to kill him but when he belived it was Sirius doing the same damn thing then suddenly no one deserves it... christ we see you remus lupin, we see you...

2. Moving in thogeter

I don't even have anything to say for this one just.. *gestures vaguely*

Order of the phoenix, chapter 6:

[...] and Lupin, who was staying in the house with Sirius but who left it for long periods to do mysterious work for the Order [...]

It's so funny cos like... he didn't need to do that... no one else is staying there even though it's the order's HQ.

And we know that as poor as Remus is he does have a house (Sirius stays there for a bit at the end of GOF) so he just... moves in... just because. yea.

a little extra scene that it's kinda funny, imagine finding out your teacher and godfather are dating by calling said godfather and said teacher picks up... lol :

Harry opened his eyes to find that he was looking up out of the kitchen fireplace at the long, wooden table, where a man sat poring over a piece of parchment. “Sirius?” The man jumped and looked around. It was not Sirius, but Lupin. “Harry!” he said, looking thoroughly shocked. “What are you — what’s happened, is everything all right?”

3. Remus is Sirius' good boy

Okay I will try not to ramble about this one but... I can't help it. He quite literally calls Remus a good boy you can not make this shit up.

Order of the phoenix, chapter 9:

Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh. “No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”

I think what drives me insane about this one is that even though Remus had the same sense of humor as the other boys (although his was quieter and dry), they were a bit different. Sirius himself says that Remus would make them feel ashamed of themselves sometimes and, of course it depends on how you view Sirius, but to me I feel like he is a person that doesn't really put up with things just to please someone and so I feel like if it were a random person he would just go like "Well if you don't like what we do fuck off I guess" but since it was Remus he doesn't get annoyed at all and it makes it seem like he has a soft spot for Remus:

Order of the phoenix, chapter 29:

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much,” he said fairly, looking at Lupin, but Lupin shook his head.

likeee that's his boy!!

4. Giving harry a joint present

You see, this one is very funny to me bc I was watching Sex and the city a few weeks ago and there's a scene where Carrie takes Mr. Big as her plus one to a wedding and of course she asks him to put his name on the present and he just. refuses. He has several commitment issues and even tho they were together for months at that point he thought a joint present "was too much".

And naturally my first thought was "oh wow that's so crazy bc in the children's book series 'Harry Potter', harry's godfather and teacher gave him a joint present without second thought". After moving in together. yea.

Order of the phoenix, chapter 23:

Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts, [...]

how does that makes you feel mr.big

5. Intimacy

Last but not least (literally I think this is my favorite?) three moments that I think it shows us just how close those two are. Not even romantically, but in friendship too.

Order of the Phoenix, chapter 14:

[...] said Sirius with a wry smile. “I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though — you should hear Remus talk about her.”

We know Remus is a Nice Guy. He does everything he can to maintain at least a civil relationship with the people around him (save moments of distrees and his little cynical comments in poa, of course). And so the fact that he has a little "can I be mean?" moment with Sirius is just so funny... I just know Sirius supports all Remus' moments of haterism <3

Order of the phoenix, chapter 5:

“Molly, you’re not the only person at this table who cares about Harry,” said Lupin sharply. “Sirius, sit down.” Mrs. Weasley’s lower lip was trembling. Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white

Order of the phoenix, chapter 29:

“I’m coming up there to have a word with Snape!” said Sirius force-fully and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him backdown again.

I know people always talks about those 2 moments with the sense of like... oh wow remus asks and Sirius obeys thats hot and I AGREE it's the same thing I said before: If it was anyone else I think he would go "fuck off no" but since it's Remus he just do it unquestioned.

but ALSO. I feel like it does show how close they are... Close enough to push someone backwards etc those two lived together for more than a decade... they are Close and are used to each other and I think that's beautiful :')

[muzetrigger]

In celebration of Nevermore S2, I feel the need to explain why I’m hoping for more Ada page time/development and why she’s my absolute favorite character, despite the series being absolutely stuffed with quality.

Oh and also why MorellAda is peak. I WILL TAKE NO ARGUMENTS ON THIS POINT.

So yeah, MAJOR SPOILERS Y’ALL

Okay, so when we’re first introduced Ada, she’s a minor antagonist, not just in the sense that she’s not the main villain, but that literally, she’s just kind of an annoyance to both Lenore and Prospero. That being said, shortly after the Labyrinth arc, we see her genuinely impressed with Lenore and trying to make amends.

Now at that point, there’s no real reason for us to believe that Ada is telling the truth. Yeah, she seems like she’s being genuine, but so far, we also know that she’s been playing some social games to get ahead.

That’s where we get this first piece of insight into her character (not actually the first piece but whatever):

Ada chooses caviar as her last meal, despite not liking it, or ever having had it before. She is the only student who doesn’t enjoy her final meal, and that tells us that one, Ada doesn’t know what’s good for her; two, that she probably comes from a lower class background that never would have had access to caviar; and three, that she aspires to that upper class position. She is exactly what Morella would call a “phony” but while her phoniness impacts her social behavior in the ways that Morella criticizes, she’s also lying to herself without even realizing it.

Okay, but that’s a bit of subtle character development, so Red and Flynn hit us with this:

(In case you didn’t hate Montressor already)

This moment is so critical to understanding Ada because it shows that she has absolutely no limits when it comes to proving her worth to other people. Why? Because Ada has no sense of self-worth. She is completely dependent on other people’s thoughts to feel adequate. That’s why she clings so hard to Prospero and Annabel Lee, which makes this preceding exchange even more brutal.

Ada reaches out to Annabel for support, and Annabel ignores her.

Annabel BETRAYS her, and this is going to become something of a running theme for Ada.

Now, of course, Annabel has problems, but this is COLD.

So cold even Prospero is surprised, and this sets up why Ada crumbles so easily, because the one person she thought was her friend at this school, literally her roommate (and we know what happens when you’re not on good terms with your roommate), the person who gave her (fake) love advice, just left her out in the rain.

No one is on her side, not Annabel who’s ignoring her, not Prospero (who is rightly) annoyed with her clinginess, not Will who is supporting Montresor, and certainly not Montresor who is verbally abusing her.

The only person by Ada’s side is Morella, partly because she’s being targeted too, but also because Morella is trying to protect Ada.

(Look at that hug. That is a small puppy trying to cheer up her depressed friend.)

Chapter 39-40 firmly cemented Ada as my favorite character because we get a deconstruction of this preppy, pompous, phony personality into someone with crippling self-worth issues, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I relate HARD to those feelings of inadequacy and needing external validation. Will might be the doppelgänger, but Ada is the one with Imposter Syndrome.

Anyway, now we’re going to have to skip a few chapters, because while the haunted house arc is great, it doesn’t really do much with Ada’s character. We do learn that Ada was almost definitely a servant in her past life because she’s able to navigate the house’s secret passages, and we learn that yes, she’s a romantic who clearly doesn’t understand TPO (time, place, and occasion).

Those details are important to understanding Ada, because they help contextualize why her confidence is so abysmal (servants aren’t to be seen or heard) and why she clings so strongly to ideas of ladyhood and romance (the women she served would certainly have appeared to be more comfortable than her, though I’m sure Lenore and Annabel would disagree).

We also get this feast for the MorellAda shippers:

At this point, it’s implied that Morella has stonewalled dozens of students into Prospero’s death trap, but she makes one exception that she will not stand for, and it’s Ada.

At first, I thought this was a little weird, because why wouldn’t Morella protect Lenore? I mean, she’s the protagonist and clearly treats Morella better, but looking back, it’s telling that Ada is the one who Morella chooses.

Morella’s whole deal is that she wants to protect people, and Lenore isn’t vulnerable, Ada is.

Red and Flynn do a lot of excellent foil work in Nevermore, most prominently with Lenore and Annabel, but the contrast between Ada’s dependence on what other people think of her and Morella’s dependence on what she can do for other people is just another reason why I think MorellAda is so good.

But the real interesting events happen post-house.

Prospero has had it.

Now, was Ada being clingy? Yes.

Was she being totally oblivious to all of Prospero’s signals? Yes.

Did she deserve to be told directly that Prospero was just not that into her? Hell. Yes.

But did she deserve THAT much of a verbal beat down? Probably not, especially keeping in mind that Annabel told her this:

So now that I’ve thrown Annabel under the bus for her hand in this disaster, I want to look at one line from Prospero in particular:

“Nothing you say will make you good enough.”

It’s not the final line of Prospero’s diatribe, but it’s definitely the one that hits the hardest for Ada. She is trying SO hard to play the part of a lady in order to be loved, and she is being told that at a fundamental level, she is inadequate.

And she takes that about as well as someone who’s had this happen to them could:

A hatchet to the stomach’s going to ruin anyone’s day, but we can reasonably infer that the person who axe’d Ada was probably the young master she was serving and was having an affair with, and that he aimed for her stomach to abort any kind of child she might have carried.

Again, we see this theme of betrayal and rejection. Ada might not have been able to be a lady, but in an affair, she might been able to pretend that she genuinely had her master’s affection, even though she was just there at his convenience.

This was foreshadowed all the way back with Ada’s first confrontation with Montressor and it’s a great example of how thoroughly planned Red and Flynn’s writing is (Annabel Lee’s panic attack at Lenore’s death in the Labyrinth and the House Fire is another amazing example).

But, it’s also super traumatic which means we finally get Ada’s Spectre!

First, let me gush about how AMAZING this design is. Just aesthetically, it’s great. But it’s also amazing because of how it showcases so much of Ada’s identity. If you look at the spectre’s skirt, you’ll notice it has two distinct parts, a larger back that mimics a lady’s hoop skirt, and a pleated miniskirt, which wouldn’t be out of place in a skimpy maid costume. In her spectre form, we can clearly see Ada attempting to match a lady’s silhouette but upon closer inspection, we can also see the part of Ada that might have sparked her fatal affair, this symbol of risqué servantile behavior.

It’s also worth mentioning what ISN’T in the Banshee’s design, her abdomen. Obviously, this might be a reference to the fact that she was killed by a hatchet to the gut, but if we get dark with it (and it’s Nevermore, we can’t not get dark with it), what men traditionally (and unfortunately still do if the 2024 US elections are anything to go by…) value in a woman, her reproductive ability, is absent.

Ada, who places so much importance on what others think of her, is literally is worthless to them. (I want to clarify, I DON’T personally believe that, but from a 19th-20th century male perspective, that tracks.)

We could also read her abdomen’s absence as another attempt for Ada to play into feminine expectations. Because she’s missing her stomach, she has a tight hourglass figure. I don’t personally believe Ada has an eating disorder, but as the last dinner scene clearly indicates, she has a complicated relationship with food and what stigmas are attached to specific cuisines, and unfortunately many people do metaphorically throw away their stomachs to pursue beauty goals like Ada’s spectre does literally.

Stepping away from design, I also love how Ada acts immediately after getting the slightest bit of power.

She is PETTY.

She taunts Prospero (and let’s face it, you cheered. Don’t lie to me!), which I find so interesting because suddenly, Ada is the one giving opinions.

Ada is finally allowed to express herself.

Here, she takes it out on Annabel, which makes total sense. Annabel abandoned her and is the embodiment of what Ada craves outwardly. But Ada also recognizes that she herself is a servant who was forced to serve people like Annabel and denied their comforts because of her status. If Ada hadn’t been a maid, if maybe she had been a noble or a “true lady”, maybe should would have been allowed a romance or allowed to keep her child or at least allowed to live.

The Banshee is such a perfect moment, because until this scene, Ada has bottled up her insecurities and played the part of a loyal lackey and been this “phony”. As a servant, her entire livelihood would have revolved around keeping up appearances (or disappearances) around her masters, but as a ghost, Ada is more genuine than she has ever been.

And that’s so wonderfully displayed by how Annabel defuses the situation:

To the very end, we see Ada being vulnerable. Annabel takes advantage of her insecurities, and as the Banshee, Ada doesn’t try to hide the fact that it devastates her.

If the Montressor moment didn’t guarantee a place in my heart for Ada, Episode 71 definitely did. I’m not going to argue that characters in Nevermore haven’t experienced worse, but I will argue that no character in season one ever gets close to how pathetic and distraught Ada is here.

And what’s so heart-wrenching about this for me is that Ada is aware of how pathetic she is. She knows she’s been acting like an idiot and throwing a tantrum like a child, which is a surprising amount of insight and maturity for someone we have been led to believe is quite frankly an idiot. And yeah, I relate to those feelings of self-loathing and not knowing what to do or even where to start triaging a disaster I made myself.

Now, Montressor takes advantage of this like the abuser he is by swooping in and wooing Ada, but before that, I’m going to rewind like the shipper I am to replay this:

Again, we see Morella trying to help Ada! And obviously, that’s not what Ada needs at that moment, but it’s worth keeping in mind that out of everyone in the lecture hall then, Morella is the first and really only one to reach out to Ada. (Montressor is a manipulator. He doesn’t count.)

Last time skip, I promise!

The end of the Wall arc doesn’t quite reach the highs (or is it lows?) of Ada’s character development, but I’m so excited for what it sets up in season two.

So, Lenore and the gang find where Montressor has Cask of Amantillado’d Duke and they dig their favorite French man out while beating the shit out of our cowboy(?). There’s a ton of great moments (hell yeah, Pluto! Get him!) but the battle really swings in the misfits’ favor when Duke hypnotizes Ada to traumatize Montresor.

One, this is just an amazing display of Duke’s spectre, two, it shows that Montressor has reasons (maybe not great reasons but at least they’re reasons) for being such an asshole, and three, it shows us that mental spectre powers are straight up busted.

We already knew from Prospero that Ada’s fear factor could trap a person inside a vision of their own trauma so realistic they can feel the physical effects of it, but she can also send a man with a broken Fibula into a full blown frenzy, AND Duke’s hypnosis is something even he can’t dispel.

(Does this look like the face of a man who has things under control?)

It also sets up this exchange:

Morella is able to break through Duke’s hypnosis, and she does it without attacking Ada’s insecurities like Annabel did. Now, I’m a hopeless MorellAda shipper, so of course I reading into this, but even then, it showcases how important Morella is to Ada. After all, Morella is basically the only person who has stuck by Ada’s side this whole time.

…At least until this happens:

Morella has had enough of Ada’s excuses, and just like Prospero basically tells her to shove off.

But the painfully ironic part about this is, Ada is telling the truth. This ONE time, it really isn’t her fault. It’s Duke’s.

But Morella won’t let her get a word in and I love how Flynn drew Ada’s face. It’s a different kind of fear than when Ada was groveling in front of Montresor or reeling from Prospero’s rejection. Here, she isn’t afraid of being abandoned by Morella; she’s afraid of losing Morella.

I know that difference might sound REALLY contrived to some people, but in this case, Ada has a way to keep Morella in her life that doesn’t involve debasing herself and believes that Morella will listen to her. For the first time ever, Ada thinks she has a little control over the situation together with a friend, not an enemy. They can talk things out, and that really shows how close her connection with Morella is and how that connection can be the catalyst for Ada to start developing some self-respect.

Except Morella totally shuts her down.

Of course, I’m disappointed that there’s this “divorce arc” but it makes sense in context and it’s healthier for Morella to make a clean break from the posh crew (even though Ada clearly needs her wife more than ever, like come on, don’t leave her in Monstresor’s clutches!)

Speaking of which, I’m much more disappointed with how Ada immediately crawls back to Montresor and Annabel after being chastised. If there’s one thing I have on my season two checklist, it’s Ada learning to have some confidence in herself (and maybe tossing Montresor to the Hunt).

And I really want an apology from Morella and Duke to Ada. Now THAT’S delusional, and I might be the only one who thinks Ada deserves those apologies, because let’s face it, Ada is a wreck, but it would be nice, especially if she gives out the several dozen apologies she owes the misfit crew too, so that she can hang with them and spend more time with her wife Morella.

Anyway, yeah.

I really like Nevermore.

And I really like Ada. I think she’s severely underrated.

Of course I love Lenore and Annabel, and Morella is a precious and badass cinnamon roll, and Duke is so SO cool, and Pluto is cute as hell, and Eulalie is basically manga-Orihime (which is amazing), but there’s something so HUMAN about Ada.

I empathize with her in ways that I just can’t with the rest of the cast because… they’re just too awesome. I have difficulty believing Lenore or Annabel will ever feel something as fundamentally devastating as Ada has. At their core, they’re just stronger people. Ada is someone who needs more support and it’s nice to see those weaker characters treated with the same amount of care as a protagonist who we typically see stumble a lot but ultimately succeed. With side characters, there’s a genuine chance that they fail permanently and that adds so much to Ada’s stakes.

And honestly? I’ll say it. I think a lot of the students had alright lives or even good lives, they just happened to be cut short traumatically. Exceptions for Lenore (obviously) and Pluto (baby, you deserved so much better than your deadbeat dad), possibly Eulalie for having to live through WWII, but you’re not going to tell me that Montresor didn’t have a good run being awful, Duke didn’t have a successful performance career, and Prospero wasn’t a wealthy bastard. But who knows? We haven’t delved too much into the others’ backstories, so I could be very wrong.

Anyway, I guess this was just a very long-winded way of me saying I love Ada because I’m a total girl-failure and also I’m super excited for season two.

[theladybarnes]

CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER TEN

“Could try sticking together at a different house for a change?”

▸ summary: in another time in another place, there’s time for one more night ▸ characters: steve harrington 🩷, ft. Robin Buckley & Dustin Henderson ▸ word count: 9.5k ▸ warnings: angst, fluff, SMUT MINORS DNI(18+) ▸ series masterlist

The hot water flowed slowly down your back. Washing away all the stress and worries that came from today’s recent search. As you leaned against the cool tile, your mind drifted back to the Creel house. At this point it felt like no matter how hard all of you worked to piece together this puzzle, more questions would be left unanswered.

 Pushing your head under the water, you tried to let your mind have a moment’s rest. But the very second you shut down that worry, the look of Steve smiling down at you with cobwebs in his hair came into your head.

 This was stupid. 

 You guys were supposed to be on pause. Thoughts about Steve and his dumb, cute, face could come around later on. When you aren’t trying to evade death by the hands of Vecna. But even if you gave yourself that small break, there was another lingering thought in your head; How was Eddie doing? 

 It’s been days since any of you have properly spoken to him and a big part of you felt guilty for not thinking about him until now. He was your friend! The one who helped lift your spirits after all the heartbreak from last winter. How could you be such a bad friend? Yes, you were working to help solve this and clear his name, but how could you let yourself get this distracted to not have him cross your mind once all day?

 With a sigh, you turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping yourself in a towel. The steam clung to your skin. A temporary warmth against the cold air that seemed to follow you around all day. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, shuddering at the sight.

 You were exhausted, both mentally and physically. The worst part was that your body seemed to be taking the major weight of it all. Emerging from the steamy bathroom, the cool air of Steve's house hit you, bringing a slight shiver to coat your body. Lost in your thoughts, you almost didn't see that Steve had been standing there until you nearly collided with him at his bedroom door.

 "Whoa, careful there,” he said, a playful smile on his face as he caught your arms. "I hope you left some hot water for me. I know you like to have the water burning your skin practically.”

 "It’s not that hot.” you chuckled. His eyes darted over your figure, lingering in a few expected spots until he remembered where his main focus was. You felt as your face grew hot. Cheeks flushed as you adjusted the towel around you tighter. “Thanks again, for letting all of us crash here. I know all of us together can be a lot."

 Steve's expression softened, and he leaned against the doorframe, looking at you with those familiar, warm eyes that had your knees nearly buckling under his gaze. "I figured that the Wheeler residence could use a break from the chaos we bring.” he shrugged. “No one’s here anyway. We all could use a good rest for one night. Plus it beats sleeping on the basement floor again.”

 “You’re right about that.” you agreed, knowing your back is desperate for some comfort. 

 “Besides,” he continued, voice a low murmur. “I feel a lot safer having you here in my house. Where I know you’ll be safe.” 

 His words tugged at your heart. They were both comforting and painful. Mostly because you wanted to dive into the meaning behind them and hear his reasons. But you knew better. It was just hard to suppress the feelings you still had for him, but you pushed them down for now, managing a small smile instead. 

 "I always feel safe with you around. Doesn’t matter where.”

 Something about your reply had him inhaling deeply. For a moment he looked like he was going to say something else, but he didn’t. “Goodnight, Trouble.” He eventually got out with a smile of his own.

 “Goodnight, Steve."

 You turned to leave, heading towards the hall to his parent’s room, where you’d be sharing with Robin. But as you walked away, you couldn't help but steal one last glance back at him, catching him as he watched you with an unreadable expression. 

 Once you were inside the spare bedroom and away from his gaze, you wasted no time in getting into fresh clothes. Thankfully, your Aunt did not catch you sneaking in through your bedroom window earlier. If she had, you, Dustin, and probably the others, would surely have been under house arrest. With her paranoia, she’d have cuffed you all together to keep watch of everyone closely.

 The previously occupied bathroom popped open suddenly. Robin, who had gotten dibs in the master bath first, was freshly changed and ready for bed. She waltzed into the room with a content smile on her face as she plopped down on the other side of the bed. You noticed right away that her eyes were glinting with a familiar playful mischief as she caught your gaze.

 “So,” she started, drawing out the word, “How was your little run-in with Steve?” Her smirk was unmistakable, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, holding back the smile that wanted to fight its way onto your lips. 

 “Robin,” you warned lightly, but she only grinned wider.

 “Oh come on, don’t ‘Robin’ me. I was there in the Creel house. I saw how you two were talking.” she reasoned. “There were sparks flying and all that.” She mimicked an explosion with her hands for emphasis, bringing out a small chuckle from you. 

 “I can’t do this with you..”

 “Why do you think I got dibs on the bathroom first?”

 “Because you’re dirty?”

 She gave you a small slap to your arm before pointing over towards the door. “I did it on the chance that you two might run into each other in his room and get to talking again!”

 “Robin, we’re not together,” you reminded her, shaking your head as you finished drying your hair. “I’m not sure he’s told you yet but we’re pausing even discussing that situation until we get this Vecna stuff sorted out. It’s all very complicated.”

 “Yeah, complicated my ass.” Robin snorted. “All week I’ve caught you two a dozen times being a little too close for being just friends. I give it until tomorrow before the two of you are making out in some corner like you’re in the back room of Family Video all over again.”

 Your mouth flopped open as you attempted to think of a comeback. For some reason you were unable to conjure up a clever response. Instead, you threw a pillow at her, which she deftly dodged laughing. “We’re not gonna do... ugh, I’m done. I’m going to bed.”

 Thankfully, she moved with you to climb under the sheets. Giving you a couple of seconds of silence while you both adjusted under the sheets before Robin turned around to face you again.

 Her expression had softened up from the previous smug look she had as she looked down. “I know you’re both sort of stuck on talking things out. But seriously, I think with everything going on... I just don’t want either of you to have any regrets. Or waste time not taking just one second to work something out. Things are getting pretty crazy and I just want to help you both be happy in case something happens..”

 Her words instantly hit home. It was one thing for you to be self aware of the possibility of a limited amount of time. But for your friend to see it too just made the whole situation feel even more real. That wasn’t something you wanted Robin or any of them to have to go through. Especially when they were already worried about this whole Vecna mess already. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you gave her a quick nod, hoping it gave off some sort of relief to her.

  “Thanks, Robin. We’ll work on it soon.” Your words felt forced, but you smiled at her anyway. “Just give us a chance to work things out before you feel you need to ‘help’ again, okay?”

 She gave your shoulder reassuring pat before she flopped onto her back. “Alright, I’ll back off for now, but I’d be more worried about Nancy. She’s more fed up with this weird dance you two are doing than I am.”

 “Thanks for that heads up.” You chuckled softly, reaching out from the covers to turn off the lamp. The room fell into darkness, but the warmth of the conversation still lingered in the air.

 “Goodnight, Robin,” you whispered.

 “Goodnight,” she replied, her voice already drowsy.

 As you closed your eyes, your mind drifted back to previous thoughts. There were some things you couldn’t change right away, but Robin was right. Time was precious, and with the threat looming over you all, there’s no room for regret. Something had to change between you and Steve. 

 But for now, you settled on attempting to get some sleep first. 

 You huffed again, removing the earbuds from your ears.

 It had been two hours since you said goodnight to your friend, and here you were as you listened to the soft sound of Robin’s light snoring. Sleep was not coming for you. No matter how relaxed you attempted to be, your mind was not able to shut off whatsoever. 

 Looking at the clock on the bedside table, you use the little bit of moonlight that peeked through the room from the curtains to read the time. It was nearing two in the morning. You should be sound asleep like all the others in the house. And yet, you were wide awake.

 This wasn’t even a bed you could feel comfortable in. It was too hard and the pillow had a lingering scent aftershave. You glanced at Robin, her face serene and untroubled as she slept. The sight of her peacefulness made your restlessness more unbearable. What you needed was comfort, a sense of safety that only one place could offer.

 Biting your lip, you glanced over towards the clock again. Screw complicated.

 Slipping out of bed, you gathered your cassette player and headphones as you padded silently to the door, careful not to wake her. The floorboards creaked under your weight, a sound that echoed through the quiet house. Steve’s room was just down the hall, and the thought of being near him sent a shiver down your spine—not from fear, but from the cold that only he seemed to be able to take away.

 Pushing the door open a fraction, you peeked inside, hoping to slip into his room without waking him. Over on his bed, he laid on his side, facing towards the door. His chest rising and falling in the rhythm of sleep.

 Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open enough to step inside. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the faint smell of the cotton sheets hit you. Hitting you with a wave of nostalgia. The summer nights where you crept in to spend the night for sleepovers that weren’t allowed. It was the time in both your lives where you guys thought everything would be okay. That all the troubles were over. 

 You wanted to feel that way again, if just for one night.

 Stepping into the room, you were careful not to let the door creak as you closed it behind you. The floor was thankfully covered in carpet, but you still shivered as you approached the side of his bed. 

 You moved to the empty side about to lift the blanket when you noticed a small photo frame. Picking it up, you used the small light coming from the window to look at it carefully. 

 It was the half torn photo strip you guys took at the mall last summer. You remember the night he stole this half, leaving you to the one back home. It was still taped to your mirror. But this one, you haven’t seen in such a long time. The smile on Steve’s face still made your heart leap and you couldn’t help but smile at how happy you looked then. “I can’t believe you still have this.” you said softly. 

 Steve stirred at the sound of your voice and you held your breath. Hoping you didn’t just wake him up. But nothing happened other than him settling back comfortably. 

 Gently, you lifted the edge of the blanket and slipped underneath, moving slowly so as not to disturb him further. The mattress dipped slightly under your weight as you turned on your side, wanting to face him. The warmth of his body was immediate, comforting in a way you had become desperate for lately.

 As you got comfortable, Steve's eyes fluttered open, making you freeze in place. But instead of accidentally scaring him like you thought you might have, he only blinked, sleepily focusing on you. 

 "Hey," he murmured, his voice thick with sleep. There was no surprise in his tone, just a quiet acceptance that made your heart flutter.

 "Hi," you whispered back, barely able to keep the small quiver from your voice. "I couldn't sleep."

 He shifted slightly, making room for you to slide closer, his arm coming around you instinctively. It was such a natural, familiar gesture, shared between the two of you. 

 "Bad dream?" he asked, his voice a soft rumble.

 "I’d have to have fallen asleep in the first place to dream," you muttered, nestled closer to him now. His presence was like a soothing balm. The knot that had been building up in your chest loosened up at just the sound of his voice. “Is it okay, I’m here?”

 His fingers brushed against your arm, a light touch that sent shivers down your spine. "You’re always welcomed here," he said quietly, keeping up with his soothing touch. 

 You closed your eyes, letting yourself relax for the first time in days. You couldn’t pinpoint as to why. Maybe it was the bed, or the smell of his cotton sheets, or maybe it was just Steve. All you knew was that you felt safe, away from the world, in this bed, in his arms. 

 "I missed this," you admitted into the darkness, voice barely audible under the sudden emotions swirling. 

 His arm tightened around you, and you felt as his breath hitched in reaction to your words. "Me too," he whispered back eventually, his voice low and rough. It was only a little concerning, considering that all day he’s acted so confidently around everyone. 

 "Steve," you begin, your voice barely above a whisper, "Am I hurting you by being here?"

 He sighed, shifting closer. "No, you’re not hurting me. If anything, this is comforting me. I like having you close to me..where I can feel you.”

 You reached out, your fingers brushing against his. "I just don’t want to confuse you anymore than I already have.."

 His hand closed around yours, warm and reassuring. "You haven’t. Besides, I know we’ll eventually get to talk things out. I’m okay with waiting until then.” 

 The conviction in his voice is comforting, and for a moment, you almost believed that everything would be okay. But your mind was quick to become frustrated all over again. Not only were you so physically tired from everything, but mentally too. It was as if you were some sappy soap character who couldn’t figure her life out. Everyday was a new brand of guilt and fear and you were sick of it. 

 A finger brushing against your cheek pulled you out of your rant and focused back on Steve who was watching you carefully. “Your thinking face is on.” he mused softly, “Wanna let me in?”

 You moved closer, resting your head on his shoulder. "What if... what if this was just a normal night? No monsters, no curses, just spring break. What would we have done?"

 Steve sucked in a sharp breath. Probably not expecting that sort of question. “Well,” he huffed, blowing all the air out of his mouth. “I’d have probably convinced you to hang out with me. Even if it was just friends. Put on some movie you picked from work.”

 You smiled at the thought, liking the simplicity of the scenario. "Something you’d pretend to be annoyed by, but secretly love every minute of, right?”

 He smiled back, looking at you with such a tenderness that lured you in close. "Yeah, something like that."

 The moment stretched out, leaving the air thick with heavy lingering feelings. You leaned in, keeping faces only inches apart. The urge to kiss him was so overwhelming. But you stopped, your eyes searching his face for more answers. "And after that? When the night was done and it was time for me to go home? What would happen?”

 For a moment, he didn’t respond, his gaze locked on yours. Then, without a word, he leaned in, closing the distance between you, and kissed you. It was soft and hesitant, but it held some feelings that you were sure he had been holding back. Like always, you melted into the kiss. His hand reached up to cup the side of your face, keeping you close as he finally spoke up.

 “That,” he whispered against your lips. “I’d do that.”

 You moved to rest your forehead against his, both of you breathing heavily now. “I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow,” you whispered, “But right now, I just..I just want to forget about everything. Even if it’s only tonight.”

 He slowly nodded, his eyes glancing down to your lips as you spoke. “Yeah,” he said, gently murmuring his agreement in a quiet tone. “We can forget everything else..."

 With his approval, you placed a hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him so that he was flat on his back. His eyes widened a bit and you carefully threw a leg over his waist until you were able to sit on his lap. 

 Your heart raced as you reached for the hem of your pajama shirt, carefully pulling it over your head until you were revealing your bare chest to Steve. 

 His breathing hitched as his eyes roamed over your breasts before it all seemed to click for him what you were doing. “Am I dreaming right now?” he asked as he brought his hands up to rest at your hips. 

 You placed your hands over his, giving him a shy smile as you shook your head to his question. 

 “This is real.”

 He gave your hips a gentle squeeze as a small shy smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “Thank God.” he breathed, shaking his head as he leaned up towards you. 

 You met him in the middle and pressed your lips onto his, feeling the familiar fire start to ignite inside again. His hands released your hips, grazing up the expanse of your sides until he cupped at your breasts, using the tip of his thumbs to brush over the sensitive pebble.

 A wave of heat dropped down between your legs at his touch. Not even a week has passed since you’ve last had sex with Steve but the carnal desire to have every inch of him inside you started to take over. Your hands roamed beneath his shirt. First, only grazing in from his waistline before you broke the kiss to push up the ends, silently urging him to lose the shirt.

 You could hear him chuckle as he reached down to tug the material off, tossing it onto the floor before he laid back against the bed, looking up at you expectantly. 

The pool lights reflected in through his window, creating spots of blue hues to seep in the room. 

 It reminded you of all the summer nights you spent here in the house, and how much they used to ease you during your secret sleepovers. 

 Leaning over, you pressed your lips back onto his as your hands explored. Your nails scratched against his chest, admiring the feel of the hairs that peppered over his pecs. The sensation caused Steve to groan out loud, making the kiss turn hot and opened mouth as you both touched each other.

 He pressed you closer to his body, making your chest flushed to his now. That’s when you felt the cold necklace press against your clavicle and you sat back to press a hand to your neck. 

 You had almost forgotten that you had stolen the necklace from his car the other day. It kept you sane during your trip to Pennhurst. Something you had planned on sneaking back into Steve’s car. But your impatience and needs seemed to ruin that plan now. 

 He broke his focus from your face, doing a double take as he looked down at your hand, leaning close to inspect what you were holding. “You-..you’re wearing it..” he stated, slightly taken back as his gaze flickered back to your eyes.

 “I just wanted to feel right again.” You professed softly, looking down at the gold ‘S’ that sat perfectly over your chest. “I know I should have asked but..” your voice trailed off, unsure how to answer without diving into feelings.

 A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips when he slowly reached up to gently touch the necklace. His fingertips gently ran along the chain while you waited patiently to hear what he had to say. “No, you’d never have to ask..” he assured you. “It’s yours. It’s always been yours.” 

 The tender reassurance caused an ache to spread into your heart. The memory of the night you received the gift bringing in emotions you needed to pause on. Reaching for his hand, you brought his fingertips up to your lips. Placing kisses on each finger lovingly until you pressed it to cup at your cheek. “Are you sure?”

 Steve held his breath for a moment, only staring at your face in his hand before he suddenly leaned up towards you. The look in his eyes had turned dark and familiar. Stirring something in the pit of your belly. Then, he slowly began to nod his head, letting his hand slide down to wrap around your neck. 

 “More than anything.”

 You shuddered a bit, finding yourself being flustered by not only Steve’s reassurance, but also from the slight change of hand. Not sure how long you can handle his touch or heated gaze, you took charge and leaned in to press your lips against his again.

 Feeling a new confidence in you that made you start to roll your hips on his waist. 

 A small moan built in your throat as his groin began to press through your pajama pants. Hitting at the spot you were starting to become needy for him to touch. Beneath you, Steve gently groaned into the kiss, moving his body to roll against yours when he felt the direction you were taking things.

 Your mind was becoming more hazy at that. More feral. The familiar desperation to reach your orgasm started to spur inside of you. And from the way he began to stiffen up underneath his clothes, you were pretty sure he was starting to feel the same.

 “Steve..I need you.”

 Your simple whimpered request seemed to encourage Steve as he groaned quietly again, reaching for your hips as he rolled up. “Need you too, Honey. Need you so badly.” he said in short shallow gasps. 

 Carefully, he wrapped an arm around your side and he pressed you close to his body before he flipped you over so that he was able to hover over you now. You held tightly, staring up in shock as he used his knees to push at your legs and allow him to sit between them. 

 Reaching your hands down, you rubbed up his sides until they met in the middle of his waist, where you quickly made do with his pajamas. Pushing the waist of his pants and boxers down while you picked your head up to press a kiss to his lips. 

 He shivered in your hands, only pulling his lips back to hiss down once the palm of your hand made contact with his hardened cock. “Fuck,” he said, licking over his lips. “Keep going.” he begged, hands rubbing up the inner part of your thighs soothingly. 

 The sight of his stiff cock brought a burning desire to pool between your legs. You thought back to earlier in the week when you last had him and how much you wanted to feel that good again and again and–

 “You with me?” 

 The warm touch to the side of your face pulled you from your dirty thoughts and you gave Steve a small smile. He rubbed the tip of his thumb over your lip, which naturally you pressed a kiss to, knowing how much he always liked it.

 And like always, he took charge after that.

 Moving his hands to the sides of your waist, he tugged down your bottoms. Exposing the rest of your body to his pleasure as he still hovered above you. The action sparked something inside and you felt yourself losing your composition in order to give into your needs. “I need you, please.”

 He shifted before you, making the tip of his cock brush against your thigh. Causing him to groan while he adjusted once more to bring his hand between your inner thighs. “Let me have my fun first, Trouble.” He replied back. Voice husky and low with desire. 

 It was one just one finger that brushed through your folds and you were already feeling out of your mind. Your body jolted and turned tense as you reached out to grip at his free arm. He used his thumb to circle over your clit, brushing the sensitive bud softly.

 “Fuck.” you hissed, feeling both frustrated and turned on by his slow pace. You let go of his arm to go for his neck. Letting your fingers get tangled in the ends of his hair, tugging lightly as he rolled over the sensitive bud again. Oddly, the small ministrations were slowly working you up.

 Steve’s eyes looked up at you. He watched you slowly the more you got heated, needing more but still keeping at his pace. He swiped a finger over your clit again, chuckling softly to himself as he bent his head down to you. “Already so close for me? You’re so needy, so perfect, all for me.”

 His whisper nearly made you come right there. It was so dirty and so familiar to how things used to be. You didn’t know how much you needed this until now. “Baby, please,” you whimpered, not even sure how desperate you sounded. “More.”

 You brought your leg up to wrap around his hip, allowing him better actress between your legs as you slowly began to roll again his touch. Needing to do something to create the friction you wanted.

 He cooed amusedly at your impatience. ”I’ll give you anything you want, baby.” he promised, pressing more pressure to your clit with his thumb. “Just keep making pretty noises for me.” he teased, moving his hand down your folds, teasing you slightly until you felt the tip of his fingers at your core. 

 Your eyes snapped open, looking up at the ceiling as you anticipated his next move.

 Little by little he pushed his fingers in, getting you to let out small panting breaths to calm you down until you felt him stop. “Doing so good for me, Honey.” he said, leaning forward to get his face closer to yours. “You’re so wet, just from my hand, it’s so hot.” he said as he pressed a soft kiss to warm your chest.

 “So good,” you whispered, loving how you felt his fingers give into some of the desires you wanted. He pumped his fingers in and out rhythmically as you writhed on the bed, becoming so unbearably desperate for more. God, you couldn’t believe how long it’s been since you’ve felt this way. “Fuck, Steve..” you whimpered as your hands found purchase in his hair. 

 He was being so attentive to you. It was so sweet, sexy, so addicting.

 Steve continued to listen to all of your sounds and whines, giving you quiet praises while his fingers curled, hitting at just the right spot as he increased his pace. Trying to get you to the edge you were teetering on. “C’mon,” he grunted, “Come for me, honey..”

 Your fingers gripped tighter to Steve’s hair, pulling him close to you. “Baby,” you gasped, sucking in air that was leaving too quickly. “I’m gonna— I’m gonna—ah!” 

 In one final push of his hand, your body froze and you felt your wave of pleasure hit over you instantly. It was so hot and so quick, you didn’t even have time to keep yourself in check. Only grinding your hips against his hand to ride out the rest of the orgasm. 

 He had leaned down during your euphoric haze to press kissing against the nape of your neck, Slowly pushing in and out until he gently slipped his fingers out from you “That’s it..just like that..that’s my good girl..” he said, holding onto you until he fell to your side. He reached around to have you closer to him. 

 You were still trying to catch your breath. Feeling so hot and heavy that you felt your head spin for a moment. “God,” you whispered, turning your head to plant kisses on his chest. “I’ll never get over that.”

 Steve hummed happily, seemingly content with having gotten you off. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, sounding pleased by your reaction. “I won’t either..” he said before he reached down for your chin, tilting you up so you were looking at him as he whispered quietly. “You’ve never been so perfect and so sexy for me.”

 The whisper of his genuine words only took your breath away again. 

 Without saying anything, you moved your legs so that you could straddle on top of him. The slight pressure of his still so hard member was pressing lightly against your thighs. You gave a small roll of your hips before looking at him carefully.

 He stared up at you once you straddled his waist. Eyes wide before you rolled over him and caused him to groan loudly. “Honey,” he breathed out in a deep whisper. “You don’t have to–”

 Bending forward, you pressed your lips against his, letting your kiss distract him from saying anything else as you slowly lifted your hips, kneeling at his sides and reached down between you two. Grabbing hold of his member, you carefully lined him up to your core and slowly eased down.

 He pulled away from the kiss as he gasped for air. “God, you’re perfect.”

You’d chuckle at his sweet response if you weren’t too busy feeling the sensation of having him inside of you again. It was like you’ve been waiting all night to feel this full again and you couldn’t help but sigh in contentment from it. 

 Leaning yourself back, you slowly bottom his member out. Feeling as the tip brushed right at the right spot. A soft moan spilled past your lips and you placed a hand down to rest at his stomach, digging your nails into the skin as you slowly started to roll your hips.

 “Fuck, baby, takin’ all of me.” he whimpered. “Like my good girl.”

 A smile broke out on your face, loving his attempt to talk dirty through his whimpers. Beneath you, Steve’s whole body started to tense up. Turning as needy as yours did minutes ago for release. His hands up and down your thighs, trying to find something to hold onto before he gently wrapped hands around your hips. 

 One of your hands reached out to grip at your breast, feeling as the sensitivity ventured all over your body. Steve, who couldn’t help himself, reached out to replace yours. Squeezing and cupping up your breast as he bucked upward into you. 

 “God damn, honey.” he grunted, thrusting upward again. He pulled himself up to reach your mouth with his. He hungrily kissed you, sucking on your bottom lip before he pulled away for a moment. “You don’t know what you do to me..” he whispered, eyes dark as he looked over your features. 

 You used his new closeness as a chance to wrap your arms around his neck. Keeping him in place so that you could pick up the pace in your rolls. Hitting that delicious spot every time. The kiss had already taken your breath away, but you ignored it in favor of attacking his neck next. 

 Pressing loving kisses on all the spots that freckled his skin. “I could say the same.” You said panting against the line of his jaw. “I can’t get you out of my head.”

 Steve gasped out in between your kisses on his neck, holding you close as he moved his hand back to your lower back. Holding you steady as he began to buck his hips up to meet your rolls. Thrusting upwards so fast now that you were practically bouncing on top of him.

 ”I’ve been trying so hard to stick to this whole friend, pausing thing—fuck. But I can’t stop thinking about you like this.” he grunted between short, shallow breaths. “Want you like this all the time.” 

 His thrusts started to hit directly into all the right places, making your next climax approach faster now. You felt yourself shuddering at his words, holding tightly to him as his confession brought butterflies to your stomach.

 “God, Steve.” You whimpered, “All the time?”

 “Every, damn, day.” he answered, thrusting up to match each word he managed to get out.  You could feel your body react to him, clenching tighter around his cock. Needing to hold onto the feeling of him inside of you before he’d hit you again and have you gasping in pleasure. “God, I could do this all night if you’ll have me.” 

 His words made you shudder, and you dug your nails into his shoulders. Pushing against him lightly to lie on his back again while you looked down in his eyes. “You’re all mine?” You asked breath ragged as you rolled your hips again. The brink of your climax just nearly there. “Say it.”

 “Fuck,” he moaned, staring up at you with wide eyes. You’ve never been this possessive with him before but from his slight grin, you started to think he liked it. “I’m yours.” he nodded quickly, licking over his lips. “You have me, Trouble. All of me.” 

 Taking his chance, he gripped tightly to your hips, giving you a slight wincing pain but followed with another wave of pleasure as he used all his energy to buck his hips up to yours, going at a much more brutal pace.

 From the mix of his responses plus the way his hips kept snapping up in the right places, you could barely roll correctly as you felt your edge coming. “I’m so—God, I’m so close.” You gasped, reaching a hand down between you, rubbing your clit in a quick circle to drive you just enough. 

 “Come for me,” he hissed, sweat was beading down his forehead but he kept up his speed, not stopping until he got you there. “Come for me, honey..”

 Your back arched, curling at his command as a sudden wave of pleasure hit you. Every roll caused your core to tighten around him, giving you that blindingly hot sensation that only your orgasm could give you. Specks of white blurred your vision again and you let out a cry of ecstasy.

 Below, Steve held you close, riding out the rest of your orgasm by helping you continue to roll your hips. “Oh God, oh Go–fuck.” he moaned, his body tensing up before finally reaching his release. The sensation of Steve’s cum shooting in you had you shuddering slightly but not as much as the sinful sounds of his moans fought against your whimpers.

 There was a solid minute where the two of you were just there, both taking the chance to roll against each other until finally you started to calm your bodies down. You glanced down to look at him, smiling a little at his face. He was still softly moaning, most likely sensitive as you were right now before he felt your gaze on him. 

 “Hi.” you said softly, just staring at him until you leaned down to place another kiss on his lips.

 “Hey.” he whispered back, now sporting a goofy grin. Though you had the power of being on top, it didn’t stop you from feeling shy from his gaze. Looking away, you peeked over your shoulder to stare at the door before down again.  

 “Do you think the others heard us?”

 He glanced over toward the door, face scrunching up a bit before he shook his head. “Doubt it.” he chuckled, returning back to his former position. “Those little shits aren’t afraid to barge in and bother us if we’re disturbing them, so I think I think we’re in the clear.”

 Nodding your head, you held onto his arms. Using them as leverage to keep you up as you reached between you two so that you could pull him out. A small hiss escaped at the change of pressure before you carefully climbed off his lap and laid down beside him. “That was intense.” you said softly, placing a hand on your still racing heart.

 Steve, who had quickly managed to catch his breath, laid his head down on the pillow. You glanced up to see he was grinning as he stared up at the ceiling. “Intense isn’t the word I’d use..” he shrugged with an amused chuckle. “Now incredible..”

 You couldn’t help but laugh at that, gaining his attention. He slowly rolled to rest his head down against your shoulder, gently brushing his fingers up and down your side. You turned over to face him instead. “You’re incredibly cheesy, Harrington.” you smirked, still feeling like you’re on cloud nine from everything.

 He gave a fake look of shock, nearly clutching his pearls before he reached out to you. Tucking you against him so he could gently nudge your side with his hand. “Me? Chee—what about you, using cheesy lines on me like ‘you’re all mine’?”

 You felt your face heat up. 

 “Yeah, well, I was just taking a page right out from your book of lines.” You shrugged, trying to keep up with a faux bit of confidence.

 That seemed to only amuse him further. Making him let out a light laugh as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “Now you’re suddenly keeping note of my go to lines?” he asked with a light, playful, voice as he moved onto peppering small kisses over your face. “Thought you wanted to be a lawyer, not a stenographer.”

 “Uhh..” You had a hard time thinking of any clever response as Steve continued his kissing, making you incredibly distracted. He literally just fucked you stupid and thought adding drunkly sweet kisses on top of that would do any good. “..Shut up.” You eventually answered, not even able to combat it at this point.

 Again, he laughed at you. Giving you at least a break from his lips as he pulled back to look over at you. “Gotta admit, I kinda liked hearing you talk so possessively to me. Makes me feel all sorts of special.” he whispered teasingly.

 You sighed in defeat, figuring that while he was annoying in teasing now, he was kind of right. A small part of you felt alive to be holding such a claim on him. Sappy or not, he felt like he really was yours. But you hated the idea of Steve holding that over you right now with his shit eating grin.

 “Shut up.” You said again, slightly teasing, but mostly pouting. The blanket, while a little too warm, helped cover up your slightly sweaty body from the cold that would inevitably take over. You turned yourself to rest on his chest a little, needing to hear his heart while lightly brushing your fingers over his side.

 All this was so beautifully domestic. Reminding you of the calmer nights of the early summer you two had where you were actually allowed to be silly teens who didn’t have school worries or problems from the upside down. Just two people enjoying each other’s company.

 The thoughts of all tomorrow’s worries instantly came into mind. No matter how much you wished it, and how much Steve gave to you, the doubts would always come back to creep in, and the world would find ways to keep you from getting that happiness back.

 Steve adjusted himself to pull you closer to his body, keeping you pressed tight against his chest. Gently letting his hand move to pet over your hair as he softly whispered to you. “I can hear you thinking.”

 A small sad smile couldn’t help but tug at your lips. Steve’s familiar intuition kicked in once again and your body reacted so instinctively to him as you curled more into his side. Seeking comfort against him. You gently drew patterns over the sides of his ribs as you fought to get your words out. 

 “I’m thinking how I’ve messed up my life again..”

 He didn’t say anything at first. Only keeping his hold on you before he finally spoke up again. “Why would you think that?” he asked slowly.

 “I’ve lied to you guys, I’ve kept things that were important..and all for it to come back and nearly get me killed.”

 The reminder of the other day’s events unfortunately seemed to cause a dip in the vibe around the room. Beside you Steve stiffened up, possibly remembering his own emotions from that day. But you couldn’t stop yourself from going on, feeling more guilt pour out of you.

 “I’ve been such a bad friend. I’ve neglected Eddie who’s just stuck waiting for us to help him..he doesn’t even know what’s going on and I’ve just been wasting our time keeping things from all of you. I’m sorr–”

 “You were scared.” he cut in, not allowing you to finish your apology. “You just wanted to keep us safe and keep us focused on what you thought was important, baby. I know you. Not only are you a good friend, but you’re a good person..I’m so tired of having you put yourself down.” he argued, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I don’t know what that asshole is making you hear or see in your head..but you aren’t messing up your life.”

 You closed your eyes, wanting to believe everything he was saying. But all the months of Vecna feeding pain and hurt into you were still lingering. Even if you used your anger to fight back against him, the weight of his words still hung heavily onto you.

 “I can’t unhear his words, Steve. I can’t stop seeing the vision he showed me..”

 “Tell me about it.” he said softly, another kiss now to the side of your cheek as he tried to bring you back down from your spiraling. “Let me in..”

 Sighing, you reached over to grab for his free hand, bringing it close to your chest as you recalled the events of the past few months. Mentioning the times Vecna had attempted to make you feel alone and guilty over things. Whether it was from Billy’s death, the break up, or even the struggle to maintain the relationships you had with others.

 “..it wasn’t until the day he tried to take me..I just knew it was all wrong. Like everything he had been feeding me was just to get me to this point but it wasn’t enough. No one but me got hurt that night. Even as I tried to remember it in detail the only one around was me and the police until my Dad came. But he wanted to use that guilt and feed it into something worse.”

 “But he still has a hold over you..” he pointed out, letting his fingers lace with yours. 

 “I guess, even now it feels sometimes like I’m being lulled into a dream. Which must be a reason why sleep is hard for me tonight.” You moved to place your hand around his waist, feeling the need to hold him again. “What if this is the last night we get to do this? What if I’m pulled in again and can’t get out?..”

 It was scary to think about death easily taking over you. The worst part of it, is that you’d know you were about to die and know that it was your loved ones who would see the horrors of what happens when Vecna finally got his claw into you. 

 Without looking, you could hear as Steve let out a small sigh. He gently kept his hand brushing over your hair, seemingly attempting to soothe you. “Well, I’m not going anywhere,” he said, sounding determined. “Not unless you want me to..and even then, I’m not leaving your side.”

 “I know you’ll be here, Steve. My worry though is will I be?” You picked up your head and peered up at him, trying to focus on the features of his face. As if you suddenly needed to keep them in your memory to remember him in the future.

 “I’m not letting you go.” he frowned, his grip tightening on you. “I know you’re scared, we all are, but there's a fight within us. Okay? We’re not gonna stop until you and Max are safe again. And as far as things between us..they’re far from being done yet. So you can bet I’m not letting anything happen to you.” He let go to reach his hand back to softly cup your face. His thumb gently over your cheek as he kept his eyes locked on yours. “I promise, we’re going to have many nights like this again..” 

 “Yeah? After we’re done pausing our problems?” You said, feeling a little overwhelmed with reality again. There was just always going to be one problem over the other. 

 He turned silent, not saying anything for a moment as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips.  “You wanted to pretend tonight was different, right?” he said, locking his serious gaze into yours. “Tonight we’re just two teens, both with feelings for each other, both in this bed after having amazing sex. Let’s keep it like that and worry about tomorrow..tomorrow.”

 Would there even be a chance tomorrow for all this? Or would the two of you just continue to dance around this subject? You wanted to argue against that, remind him of the truth. But you quickly swallowed that thought down when you saw the slight pain in Steve’s eyes. This was not easy for him either. 

 “Okay, tomorrow then.”

 Though he seemed a little skeptical of your answer, he still smiled at you as he laid his head back down on the pillow. His arm wrapped around you now as he gently brushed his fingers lightly up and down your back. “You want to stay like this for the rest of the night?” he asked softly.

 I could stay like this for the rest of my life. You thought. “Yes.”

 There was a soft, relieving, sigh as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head. ”Then I won’t move till morning.” he whispered, words sounding more like a promise than just reassurance. 

 Your body relaxed under him and you found that you were now wishing to fight the sleep you were so desperate for in the beginning. Wanting to bask more in the short amount of time you and Steve had together alone. 

 “..and maybe a little bit after that?” you asked, more so wished out loud.

 Steve listened intently, letting you finish your sleepy words as he reached over behind you to grab the cassette player. Seemingly the only one between the two of you to actually remember the problems outside of your little promise earlier. 

 Soon enough the soft sounds of Joan Jett began to play in your ear again and he cuddled you closer into his arms. Tugging at the blanket so it covered you better. The last thing you saw before your eyes closed was the smile that crept back on his face. 

 “..and after that.”

 The small click of the tape ending was the first thing that stirred you awake.

 It would seem that partaking in the rigorous activities the night before was just what you needed for sleep to eventually come its way to you. Something you were thankful for considering this past week so far, you’ve slept roughly around two to three hours a night. 

 Unfortunately, that precious sleep time was over now and soon enough, you’d be forced to get out of bed eventually. A task you found to be harder once you felt Steve stir behind you. Without needing to turn around, you could feel that his eyes were on you. He quietly called out your name, trying to find if you were awake or not. When you didn’t answer back, he leaned in to press a kiss to the back of your shoulder. 

 The tip of hands caressed over the length of your bare leg, admiring the softness before it wrapped around your hips, dragging you back a bit in order to get you closer. After, his hand explored up the expanse of your stomach, curves, and chest until he cupped gently at your face. Again, he pressed kisses to you, only this time to your cheek. That’s when he stiffened up, noticing something, and let you go to reach for the cassette. 

 There was a click again and it quickly started to rewind. He set it back down as he resumed tending to you. Just as you were about to turn around and give into his affections, the sound of his door bursting open interrupted. 

 “Steve! Please tell me she’s in–oh God!”

 “Whoa! Shh!” Steve hissed. “Jesus Christ, Buckley, you ever heard of knocking?”

 “Have you ever heard of wearing clothes?!”

 The sound of Robin gagging followed along as Steve attempted to pull the blanket higher over the two of you. The door closed softly, but you could still feel the presence of your friend. You could only assume she had turned around now, keeping her eyes off of the two of you. 

 "Seriously? Here I was feeling like a bad friend for telling her I’d find you two kissing. But this?” Her voice had that unmistakable mix of exasperation and disgust that reminded you of the summer back in Starcourt. “I nearly had a heart attack, like, five minutes ago and now I think I’m gonna have a bigger one. I almost saw your butt, Steve!”

 “Please stop talking.”

 “Why is she here? You guys are on break.”

 “She couldn’t sleep, okay? She came in, woke me up and–”

 “And you took off your clothes?!”

 “Shh!” he hissed again. “Can you stop? You'll wake her up." His hold around you tightened, almost as if he were shielding you from the interruption.  

 Though you couldn’t see it, you could practically feel the eye roll from Robin. “Look, as happy as I am to see you guys making some sort of move in your relationship, we’re gonna have to cut the honeymoon short. The kids are up and we gotta get a move on. Nancy wanted us to meet her back at her house after breakfast. So, you two need to get dressed.”

 “Five minutes.” Steve reasoned, not daring to move you anymore. “Give us that and we’ll meet you downstairs.”

 “Fine,” she huffed, “Five minutes. That’s all you guys have before I’m sending one of the others. Let you two traumatize someone else for once.”

 Steve sighed, his voice tired as he quickly agreed. "I'll wake her up, I promise."

 You heard Robin grumble a bit as she opened the door. “God, Steve, you are so hairy!” she said in a hushed tone as she closed the door gently behind her. The sounds of her stomps slowly faded away as she finally left to go downstairs. 

 With the room now quiet again, you finally turned in Steve’s arms to face him. His eyes met yours, and a lazy, contented smile spread across his face. His hair was adorably unruly and you couldn’t help but reach out to run your fingers through it before you brought your hand to rest on his shoulder.  

 “Morning.” he whispered softly, leaning down to press a kiss against your lips. It was cut too short and he slowly pulled back to look down at you again. 

 “I see my late night visit got us in trouble.” you whispered back, feeling a little guilty for Robin’s unfortunate timing. 

 “Sort of.” He chuckled a bit, shaking his head at the interaction. “But, she’ll cool off. I think she was just worried when she didn’t find you in the other room.”

 Staring at the door, you hoped that you didn’t worry Robin too much. After her little speech, all she seemed to want was for you and Steve to make up in some sort of way. But after the sex, and confessing to him about your Vecna struggles, you were a little worried you might have pushed that progress even further. “Do you think I’ve just..complicated things with us after last night?”

 Steve inhaled deeply, looking at you with the same concerned gaze before he shook his head. “The only thing I feel after last night is amazing.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, gentle but loving. “Besides, it’s not like you and I aren’t used to complicated, right?”

 You nestled closer to Steve, adjusting so that you could rest on top of him while he moved to lie on his back. The warmth from his body and steady rhythm of his breathing helped soothe you. He wrapped his arms around you again, keeping you close to his side as he savored the moment. 

 As the former silence settled, you focused slowly on Steve’s familiar quick heartbeat. One of his hands moved up to rub up and down your back. Almost as if he were coaxing you back to a peaceful sleep again. 

 "You know we really should get up," you murmured, though there was no real conviction in your voice. The comforting moment was too tempting to let go of so easily. “She’ll probably try to get us back by sending Dustin.”

 He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest a bit. “God, probably. He’ll never let us hear the end of it.” he agreed, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “I’m sort of just..struggling to let you go right now.”

 “Me too.” you whispered, moving a hand up to gently comb through the curls that nestled over his pecs. He brought his other hand up to place over yours, holding it to press against him. From the look in his eyes, you could only see a glint of mischief as he looked down at you. 

 “Maybe we should stay..”

 “We’re supposed to be pausing things again.”

 “True.”

 It’s quiet again and it’s you this time who feels a spark of mischief come through you. “We do have four more minutes..”

 He hummed for a moment and you glanced up again to find that his eyes were closed. He had a small, content, smile on his face, nearly making you reach up to pinch at his cheek. “I know what we could do in four minutes..” he said in a very low, tempting purr. 

 “You are absolutely ridiculous.” you laughed as you tried to scoot out of his arms before you got caught up in his alluring notions. But he was quick, and held on tighter, turning his gaze back to you so he could press more kisses to your head.

 “I’m not hearing a no..” 

 “No!”

 “Make out instead?”

 “The night is over, we’re supposed to be just friends again, remember?”

 “Friends who occasionally make out?”

 You gave him a look, recalling the way you guys got together in the first place. But again, he’s looking at you in such a way, you can’t help but feel your lip turn upright, feeling that spark of desire built up in your stomach. 

 “..Fine. But now we only have three minutes.”

TEN MINUTES LATER

 “Hey Steve, Robin sent me up here to make sure you wer–OH GOD!”

 “DUDE, GET OUT!” 

 “GET OFF MY COUSIN!”

 “DUSTIN, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!”

 “OH GOD, I’M GONNA THROW UP!”

A/N: So sorry the middle was so long. But!!! I hope you guys like this update. I had to kinda split it up. I just feel like I wanted to give them a chapter dedicated to just them. Sort of like in my season three chapters. They need one night to bone it out, talk feelings, and then have crazy shit to deal with the next day lol. 

Thanks for all the nice messages and I hope you guys enjoy it. If not, I’m sorry, another update will be hopefully soon.🩷

TAGGING LIST: @cluz1babe, @starofavolonea, @primroseluna, @siriuslysmoking , @bobo-bush, @summerellaz,  @hollandweather​ - Thank you guys for your patience! (also tried to tag some of you I feel are regulars and might want an update.🩷

[jamiethebee]

Harvest

My piece for ecto-implosion 2024!

I was partnered up with @tsubaki94 who did three whole lovely artworks, so go check them out here! (x)

(The AO3 Link (X) : broken up into smaller chapters rather than this one big guy)

25,252 words

Danny rubbed his foot around in the dirt, watching the small dust cloud billow up and hang there.

“Well come on, I’ll show you where you’re staying for the next few months.”  Alicia turned around and started walking off.

“Wait!” Danny bent to pick up his bags and rushed to catch up to his aunt, “I thought that you lived in the cabin?”  He looked over at the cabin he spotted through the trees.

Alicia glanced back at Danny.  She sighed, “I do.  You don’t.”

Danny frowned.  “I won’t?  Then where will I be staying?”

Side stepping a bush, Alicia grumbled, “you’ll see.”

They moved through the brush, dodging branches and stepping around roots and detritus on the ground.  It was hot and humid and Danny was starting to feel sticky, carrying his bags with him through it all.  The birds around them quieted as they approached and then started up again once they left.  A gentle slope turned into a steeper incline and Danny quietly wondered how much longer they were going to take.  He really hoped Alicia wasn’t just taking him in a circle in some sadistic test to see how long he’d last before complaining.  Or murder him.  It wasn’t likely, but Danny didn’t know his grumpy aunt well enough to rule it out either.  Probably not though.  Maybe. 

As they made their way up, Danny smelled a change in the air.  He arched his neck around Alicia to try to see what the cause was, but quickly moved his head back and away from a sudden branch flying in his face.  Just as Danny was weighing the benefits of asking for a break, the ground leveled out, and Danny got his first glimpse of the farm.

Golden strands of wheat waved in the slight breeze, stretching farther than Danny thought he’d see.  In the distance, taller stalks formed a different swath.  Alicia stepped out of the trees and onto a path that edged the fields.  Following Alicia, Danny realized the smell had gotten stronger.  “Huh,” Danny thought.  He leaned over, closer to the stalks.  Yep, the fields were definitely the source of the smell.  Turning back to Alicia, he looked down the path and stepped next to his aunt to walk side by side.  They seemed to be close to the edge and Danny could see a couple of structures in the distance.

“These are the wheat fields,” Alicia said.  “My farm grows two kinds, spring and winter wheat.  This here is the spring wheat; it’ll be part of what you’ll be helping to take care of on the farm.”

“Oh.  What else will I be doing?”

Alicia looked down at him, “We’ll see.”

Danny winced and looked ahead again.  “Am I staying in one of those cabins ahead of us?”

Alicia huffed, “Sure will.  I’ve got a farmhand that helps out - sometimes stays in one of the cabins, sometimes travels back and forth from here to town.  You’ll be meeting him later.”

“I didn’t realize there would be anyone else here.”

“Well sure, ya think I can take care of a farm like this all by myself?  It’s a lot of work.  Course, if one of my hands didn’t leave me in the middle of the season, I wouldn’t have let Maddie send you here at all.”  Alicia looked down at him, “My farm’s no place to goof around.  We all have jobs around here and we all have to do them.”  She leveled a sharp look at Danny, “Understand?  Just because you’re my sister’s kid doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for pulling your own weight.”

Danny looked away, “Yeah.  I get it.  Don’t worry, Mom already told me.”  More like lectured me to behave, Danny thought.

Alicia huffed.  “Well, just keep that in mind.”  They walked the rest of the way down the path in silence.

As they neared the first cabin they could hear a bark, “That’s Skip.  He usually follows me around or hangs around the animals.  Good for keeping most unwelcome visitors away.”

Danny looked out and around excitedly, “you have a dog?”

Climbing up the cabin steps to pull open the door, Alicia said “yeah, but he’s a working dog, so don’t go bothering him.”

Once Danny stepped in, Alicia followed, closing the door behind him.  Sunlight streamed in through high set windows, illuminating the space.  At one end there was a bed on a simple frame, a dresser next to it, and enough space for a chair and small table.

“This is where you’ll be staying.  Got the place to yourself, though there isn’t much to begin with.  The toilet is the outhouse in between these two cabins, unless you really want to head down to bother me for mine.”

Danny gulped, feeling a little intimated.  “Got it – outhouse.”

“Yeah well, I’ll leave you to get settled in here and then I’ll come grab you for dinner.  Most meals will be down in my cabin, since it has the kitchen.  That said, you can bring food up here, but I don’t recommend it.  Racoons and the like will try to break in if they smell it up here.”

Danny nodded, looking around.  “Anything else?”

“You’d be best to wear boots if you’ve got them starting tomorrow, but for now?  Make sure the cabin door latches correctly when you leave or it’ll swing open.  That’s a great way to invite little rodents to make their home in here or to take a shit on the floor at the least.”  Alicia looked over the cabin once, “Fer now, settle in and I’ll come get you when it’s time.”  Alicia opened the cabin door and left Danny alone with his thoughts. 

Stepping over to the bed, he set his suitcases down and sat between them.  The bed let out a soft wheeze, but otherwise stayed firm.  It was more of a cot than a proper mattress, but that didn’t faze Danny.  He was looking to get shipped back to Amity Park as soon as he could anyway.  Dust motes danced around him.  The cabin was quite small.  But at least Danny didn’t see any spiderwebs or droppings.  ‘Small mercies’ Danny thought.  Pulling out the older PDA gifted to him by Tucker, Danny tried to see if he could pick up a signal to send back to his friends.  Waving his arm in the air didn’t do much.  No signal.  Sighing, Danny put the PDA down behind the suitcases and leaned back on his hands. 

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he could smell the dust in the air, hear the rustling of leaves on the trees, and the faint sounds of animals.  He didn’t know why his parents thought he needed to get away from Amity Park for the second half of the summer, but Danny was annoyed.  He spent the first half of the summer trapped in summer school, and no sooner did he have the freedom to spend time with Tucker and Sam, than his parents and Jazz decided to send him off.  Between more ghosts showing up and causing problems, and his parents paying more attention to him now that Jazz was off at college, Danny had felt like he hadn’t had a moment to himself during the school year.  Any extra time he used to have was taken up by his parents dragging him into the GAV to hunt down ghosts and talk about what he planned to do after high school.  Danny had been looking forward to vegging out on the couch and running around the mall with Sam and Tucker instead of what?  Shoveling dirt?  Or watering plants?  Or whatever.  Danny wasn’t sure what would be expected from him this summer, but his mom made it clear that he was supposed to help his aunt with minimal complaint.  Danny let his arms give out so he could fall back onto the bed. 

He didn’t know what to expect here, but he knew that back in Amity the ghosts would be having a great time wreaking havoc with one less capable ghost hunter there to kick them back into the Ghost Zone.  At least Valerie had enough of a truce with Phantom now to be convinced to empty the ghosts back into the portal instead of handing them over to be subjected to the latest experiment his parents cooked up.  Danny closed his eyes.  Even thinking about what he would be returning to at the end of summer back in Amity Park was enough to exhaust him and before he knew it, he drifted off to sleep.

A short rap on the door woke Danny up, and he got up, threw a glance at his still unopened suitcases, and walked to the cabin door, pulling it open.  “Oh,” Danny said.  It wasn’t Alicia at the door like he was expecting.

“Hey, you must Alicia’s nephew?”  the mystery man asked.

“Uuuh yeah,” Danny rubbed the back of his neck trying to work out the crick that he put there by falling asleep cockeyed on the bed.  “And you are- ?”

The man laughed, “Aaah, figures that Alicia wouldn’t have told ya.  I’m here to take you to dinner, I’ll tell ya about myself on the way.”

Danny eyed the man, dressed in a button down shirt, blue jeans, boots, and a hat - he certainly looked like he worked on a farm.  Stepping out of the cabin, and making sure that the latch took, Danny walked after the guy as he led Danny to a dirt path off to the side of the cabins.  “I’m Will, no it ain’t short for nuthin.  Down this path,” he gestured, “takes you straight to tha boss’ place – and coincidentally dinner.”  Will let out a barking laugh and continued.  “I’ve been working here for a few years now.  Actually, for most of my life.  Worked here during the summers in between school for Tish and Dick back when they ran the place.  Later, when I realized city life didn’t agree with me, I came back and started working here full-time.  Alicia took over when they passed and she’s a bit gruff, but just as smart as her ma in running the place.”

“Oh, last time I was here, Alicia mentioned the women in the family being smart,” Danny said offhandedly as he looked around the woods.

Will hummed, “darn right they are, never met a smarter bunch.  The town was real glad when Alicia moved back, and I think they’re still a bit sad her sister – yer ma – never came back.”  Danny could feel Will’s gaze on him, “when were ya here last, by the way?”

“Uh,” Danny said, looking over at Will, “uuh must’ve been a year and half ago?  Roughly?  It was only a short trip.  My mom came down for Aunt Alicia’s divorce party and my sister and I dropped in to make sure my dad had my mom’s anniversary present.  That’s a bit of a long story, but we were only here for a day.”

“Aaah,” said Will, “makes sense.  I usually take a trip to the next town over to see my brother’s kids around that time.  Wouldn’t have seen ya and Alicia ain’t a big blabber if it’s not about the farm.”

Danny didn’t have much to say to that, so he looked ahead to the path, which had started curving away.  Coming around the bend, Danny could see Alicia’s cabin through the trees and realized that Alicia could have chosen to take this path up when Danny was carrying his suitcases.  His mood soured as they kept walking.  Getting to the end of the path, and out of the trees, Danny noticed a small building behind the cabin.  Maybe he could ask Alicia what it was for? 

Will walked up to the cabin door and knocked, before opening and sticking his head in, “Heya Boss, got the kid.  Anythin’ ya need help with?”

“You two better wash your hands ‘fore ya even think about touching food.”  Without turning around, she kept stirring the pot on the stove.

“Yes ma’am,” Will said, before turning around to Danny behind him, “Follow me.”  And he walked into the cabin, heading around a wall to another door inside.

Danny glanced around the cabin as he stepped in.  Nothing much had changed since the last time he was here.  He heard water running and looked back around to Will, who was washing his hands in the small bathroom sink.  Waiting for his turn, he looked around.  There was a picture or two on a table along with a radio, a small couch and chair, and a little fireplace.  But no TV.  Danny frowned, resigning himself to a very boring summer.

“Alrighty,” Will said, hanging up the towel, “your turn kid,” and he walked off around the corner to the kitchen.

Danny stepped in, noting the indoor toilet and shower that wasn’t in his cabin, and washed his hands.  By the time he got back out, Alicia and Will were outside setting down the final dishes on the wooden picnic table.

“Ah there you are Danny, we’ve got everything out here, come join us,” Alicia called him over.

Jumping down the stairs, Danny walked over to the table and took a seat next to Will.  Alicia may be his aunt, but he felt more comfortable with Will from the short walk over than he did with her.  A stack of bowls, a pot, and some bread on a plate got his attention.

Watching Alicia and Will grab bowls and dish out stew, Danny grabbed the last bowl and did so himself once the ladle was free.  Grabbing a piece of bread, he started dunking it in.  Watching Alicia and Will eat, he took a bite.  Danny made a surprised noise.

Alicia looked over to him, “Surprised?”

Danny nodded and swallowed his bite, “a lot better than I was expecting.”

Alicia laughed, “I’ll take it that my sister still ain’t much of a cook if you think that.”

Danny sheepishly laughed, “Mom’s cooking is alright.”  How could Danny explain that most of the stuff in their fridge sat next to ectoplasm and that no matter how well the containers were sealed, most of the time, the food tasted slightly off from spending time in there?  He elected to stay silent.

Alicia hummed in response as she ate another bite of stew.  The rest of dinner passed quietly, and soon the sounds of bowls being scrapped clean echoed in the little clearing. 

Alicia leaned back, waiting for Danny to finish.  Will took out a little pipe, tapping down the tobacco and lighting it.  Danny wrinkled his nose at the smell as he finished his bowl and straightened.  “That was really good Aunt Alicia,” Danny said.

Alicia grinned, sharp and wide, “glad you thought so.  Will, you can head back up, Danny here is going to help me with the dishes tonight.”

“Are ya sure?”  Will asked.

“Yea, we’ve got some things to talk about anyway,” Alicia narrowed her eyes at her nephew. 

Danny felt a chill run down his spine, unrelated to the waning light.

“Alright,” Will said, standing, “I guess I’ll be going then.  Night Alicia, night Danny.”

“Night Will,” Alicia said.

“Goodnight Will,” Danny called out as Will walked back to the path they came down.

“Well,” Alicia started, “Grab the dishes and follow me in.”  She stood up and grabbed the pot, heading back to her cabin.

Danny stood up, piled the bowls and spoons together in a neat pile, and walked in after Alicia.

“There ain’t no dishwasher in this old cabin, so we’ll be doing everything by hand.”  Alicia plugged half the sink and started the tap.  “I’ll let you rinse and dry the dishes.”  Danny set the bowls off to the side of the sink and walked around her. 

After filling up the sink sides, Alicia took the pan and started soaping it up.  “So, Danny,” Alicia started.  “Um, well, Maddie,” she cleared her throat.  “Yer ma seemed worried about you.  Anything I should know about?  Since you’ll be working on my farm and all.”

Danny shoulders inched towards his ears.  “No, nothing.  I didn’t need to get out of Amity.”  He scowled at the pot Alicia was cleaning. 

“Hmmm,” Alicia replied, methodically working around the inside.  “I never knew my sister to be a worrier, but I won’t pry.  So long as you don’t bring any strangers or trouble around it’s not really my business.”

Danny’s shoulders relaxed some as he took the pot from Alicia and rinsed it off before setting it in the dish rack to start drip drying.  The rest of the dishes passed quickly in the silence and as Danny was drying the last bowl, Alicia walked off around the corner.

Danny closed the last cupboard as Alicia came back around with a large fabric bag.  “I don’t want to keep you up for much longer, but we’ve got some housekeeping to deal with first.”  She held out the bag towards Danny.  He took it.  “First off, my cabin has the only shower.  The only rules are to not use it when I’m sleeping and to clean up after yourself.  I mean pick up your towels and hang them to dry over your cabin porch railing.  I’ve got a standing unit in the back.”  At Danny’s scrunched eyebrows, she sighed.  “A washing machine,” she strode to the cabin door.  Heading down the steps, she called back, “You saw the structure behind the cabin?”

“Uuuh, yeah,” Danny said, walking behind her.

“Well, the machine’s in there.  We don’t got a dryer, instead,” Alicia pointed up at a line stretching from her cabin to a tree.  “There’s a bag inside with clothespins.  You’ll hang up your clothes after the washer gets done.  I recommend getting up in the mornings and starting them so that they have the whole day to dry on the line.  But that’s just me.”  Turning back around she said, “well, I think that’s most everything.  I’ve got a bell I’ll ring to let y’all know when food’s ready.  I expect you to finish whatever you’re up to and to get down here when you hear that bell.  Either you’re on time or you don’t eat.  There’s too much to do around here to wait around.”  She looked down at him as the sun finished setting, the orange glow around them the last remnant of the day.  Her face softened some, “before I send you back to get some sleep, any questions?”

Danny shook his head, “Naw, laundry out back, shower inside, don’t bother you with either.  I think I’ve got it all.”

“Good.”  Alicia and Danny stood there for a moment.  “Well,” Alicia cleared her throat, “I’ll uh, see you tomorrow mornin then.  Night kid,” and turned to walk back to her cabin. 

Danny stood there for a moment before sighing and making his way back to the path.

_______

Danny woke up to knocking on the door and sunlight on his face.

Knock knock knock echoed through the cabin and Danny squished his eyelids together even tighter.  “Come on, get up boy, you don’t have time to lay around.”

Danny turned his head into his pillow and groaned.  He spent long enough last night putting away his clothes and getting used to the small cabin that he fell asleep at a time that, had he been back in Amity, would have been early and yet here was late, based on how groggy he felt.  Unrested.

Knock knock bang, “don’t think I won’t come in there kid,” Alicia warned.

Danny let out another groan before turning his head and calling out, “Alright, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Something that sounded like “too long” came from the door before footsteps started walking down the cabin steps.  Quickly getting ready – jeans, shirt, and unfortunately, FentonWorks patented hazmat boots, Danny pushed open the door, hopping a little to finish getting the second boot on.  He jumped down the stairs, making his way to Aunt Alicia, who was leaning against a tree.

“Well, 56 seconds ain’t bad kid, but come on.  You’re following me around for the day.”  She pushed off and started walking, “I assume you don’t have any experience working a farm?”

Danny shook his head, “no ma’am.”

Alicia snorted, “none of that ma’am business, call me Alice.”

“I thought your name was Alicia though?”

Opening a little gate, Alicia whistled and then beckoned Danny through before latching it, “Sure is, but yer ma and me had our Grandma Alicia, so family started calling me by Alice.”  Walking off to a small building further back, she continued, “But enough of that, we’ve got a long day.  You can ask if you have questions, but do your best to pay attention.”  With that, she opened the door to a cacophony of clucking that quickly died down.  Danny stepped in after her, and as his eyes adjusted he saw the inside of a coop.  Two rows of chicken nests on either wall, with hens either standing around Alicia or sitting.  Once they spied Danny hiding behind her though, they started squawking again and rushed forward, wings flapping and feathers fluffed.  Danny started backing away before a hand pushed on his back and a bucket was shoved into his chest.  Quickly grabbing it, Danny looked down at a bunch of seed and –

“OW!” Danny yelped as he started hopping from one foot to another, hens trying to peck away at the new intruder.

“Walk out, they’re just not used to you is all,” and Alicia shooed him out of the coop.

‘Fuck’ Danny frowned, not quite running away from the coop and wishing he could’ve used his intangibility to get away from the chickens.  Alicia laughed at him as the hens kept pace around Danny’s ankles, lunging forward to peck at him.  “How do I get them to stop?” Danny yelled.

“Jump the fence!”

Danny ran back to the gate and hopped over it with a little help from his ghost side to land a few steps away from the chickens.

Bwaack Squak Sqwauk!!

Danny looked up at Alicia who offered an unapologetic, “Sorry.  I forgot.”

Squinting at the slightly amused look on his aunt’s face, Danny scowled, “Did you do that on purpose?”

“No idea what ya mean kid.  Anyway, for now you can toss some feed in, but otherwise wait out there.  I’ll explain what I did when I get back out to you.”  Alicia grabbed a basket hanging outside the coop door and walked back inside.

Danny glared down at the chickens who were still protesting his presence.  “What.”

“Squuuuawk!” was the response back.

Danny sighed and looked down at the bucket in his hands.  It had some seeds and other things mixed in.  Looking back up at the chickens staring at him, Danny slowly raised a hand, “I’m going to throw some seeds in.  Please don’t scream at me for it,” and he reached a hand in.  No sooner did Danny close his hand around some feed, then one of the hens decided to start flapping its wings again to cause a fuss.  Danny jumped and glared at the chicken.  Out of spite, Danny reached back in and with a handful of feed, overhand chucked it into the coop yard.  Sticking his tongue out at the chickens that refused to let him out of their sight, Danny took another step back.  He couldn’t wait till his parents’ summer banishment was over and he could go back to Amity Park.

Alicia stepped out of the coop with the basket and walked over to a trough sitting in the yard.  After looking down, she gave a quick nod, and then started heading to the gate.  Where the chickens were still standing.  Glaring at Danny.

“Uuuh,” Danny said, “Do you have a plan on getting close enough to take this bucket back?”

“Sure do,” Alicia said, coming up to the gate, “step closer and hand it over.”

Eyes never leaving the chickens, Danny inched his way closer to Alicia and when he was close enough, thrust out the bucket towards her.  “Do they hate everyone?”  He asked.

Alicia took the bucket, “Nope.  Not me,” and laughing, walked back to the coop.

“Great, real reassuring,” Danny grumbled to her back.

Once Alicia finished up inside the coop, and with a basket of eggs in hand, she walked back out of the enclosure to Danny.  “Noticed how I whistled before?”  Danny nodded.  “I was warning the chickens that I was coming in.  It’s how I let them know it’s me and not a stranger.”  She grinned.  “Not that it helped you any.”

Danny looking away, glaring.

Alicia paused for a moment, “Well, no matter.”  She started walking to another log structure.  “I want you to figure out what signal you’re gonna give the chickens and start visiting them in the mornings.  Just so they get used to you.  We don’t want to upset them too much, so they need to start recognizing you.”  Walking up to the much larger barn, she opened the doors.  Danny was hit with the smell of animals and he scrunched up his nose, coughing. 

Alice looked back at him and laughed, “Well, you’ll get used to the smell soon enough.  Anyway, this is where we’ve got the rest of the animals.  Some pigs, cows, sheep - used to have a horse, but once we switched to using the tractor and truck full time, and old age killed her off, it didn’t make sense to get another.  But that was a number of years ago at this point.  I think ya mom and me were still kids then.”

Danny’s eyes finished adjusting to the inside and he saw the animals in their stalls.  The cows looked over at him, but it was one brave pig that snuffled up to Danny.  “Oh,” Danny said, crouching down.  “Cute.”  Reaching out a hand, Danny tried to pet the pig, which quickly moved away and waddled back to its stall area.

Danny caught Alicia’s smile as he stood back up.  “Pat’s rather friendly, but I wouldn’t recommend getting too attached.”  She gestured over to the far wall, “I usually open up the barn during the day, let the animals wander around.  Before that though,” she bent down to grab a stool.  “There’s some tasks to get done.” 

Alicia made her way to one of the cows and picked up a stool and a steel bucket hanging up on the post.  She turned back around to Danny, “Yer gonna learn how to milk the cows here.  We usually fill up the pail and then transfer them to bottles.  We get too much milk to use ourselves, so neighbors will come and pick up some bottles from time to time.”  She set the stool down with the pail on top, then moved to the larger cow.  Going around to the back of the stall, she unlooped a short rope and tied it around the cow’s neck.  “This old gal here is Gully.”  Alice jerked her chin to other stall, “and our younger one is Lass.”  Alicia walked back out of the stall to move the stool and bucket closer.

“What’s the rope for Aunt Alice?”  Danny asked.

“Oh,” Alice said, setting down the stool and pail at Gully’s side.  Sitting down, she said, “just to keep her in place.  Gully doesn’t move as much as Lass will, but she’s used to the rope.  Either way, it lets her know it’s her turn.  Here,” Alice beckoned Danny over.  "Now here’s how you milk a cow.”

After the early morning of getting food to the animals, collecting the eggs, and milking the cows, Alice led Danny back down to her cabin.  Going inside for a minute, Alice came out with a cup of water for Danny.  “I’m gonna check on the oatmeal and cook up a few eggs for us.  I want you to walk around the woods down here while I finish up breakfast.”

“Alright,” Danny said.  “And uuuh, I’ll hear the bell when it’s time to come back?”

Alice chuckled, “Ha - yeah, you’ll hear it.  Remember – don’t dawdle when you hear it, come straight back.”

Danny downed the cup of water in one go and nodded, setting down the now empty glass on the table. “Will do.”  Danny started walking off and he heard the creak of the cabin door.  Just as he was about to exit the clearing, Alicia yelled back, “And don’t step on my rhubarb!”

Danny walked around a bush, ducking underneath a tree limb, “Ok!” and almost ran into a large leafed plant.  He tilted his head.  Squinted. 

‘I don’t actually know what rhubarb looks like,’ he thought.  Danny shrugged and moved around it anyway.  Walking further into the woods he felt the temperature drop some as shade took over.  Standing still, Danny realized how quiet it was.  No cars, no honking, no rushing of traffic in the distance.  Instead, there was the rustle of leaves and the occasional bird call.  He breathed in and out.  Quiet, and it smelled like the earth.  He looked around.  A chipmunk scampered up a far off tree.  Danny started picking his way through the bushes, tree roots, and other obstacles as he walked further in.

Danny looked back, and not seeing anyone, did his best to walk in a circle with Alicia’s cabin in the center.  He almost tripped a few times, before remembering that he could use his intangibility to easily get through the plants without crushing any.  ‘Problem solved.  I can’t step on anything if I do this.’  Without having to pick his way in between and around foliage, Danny’s pace picked up as he walked the area.  Coming up to what he assumed was near the back side of the cabin, Danny heard a sharp piercing bell echo around.  Danny jumped.  It was much louder than he thought it would be, especially through the trees.  He started walking back, and spied Will coming in and out of view.  Danny had gone farther than he thought and hurried up.  Just before he popped out of the trees, he dropped his intangibility and walked out behind Will onto the dirt path.  “Hey Will!”  Danny greeted.

Will whipped his head around, “Oh!  Geee-zuuus kid.  Where’d you come from?”

Danny came up alongside Will, “the woods.  Alice showed me around the animals this morning, then had me walk around for a bit.”

Will nodded.  “Makes sense.  You see her rhubarb patch?”

Danny grimaced, “Uuuh maybe?”

“You don’t know what they look like, do ya?”

Danny shook his head, “Not really.”  After a moment of hesitation, Danny asked, “what do they look like?”

“Oh well, you’ll know it when you see it.  Got these big leafs on them.  Actually, she’s started a new patch of them in her actual garden.  Not hard to spot, there’s about 6 of them?  Started a year or two back to grow them in a different spot.  Real finicky things, they don’t like it down here, but I suppose Alicia likes ‘em well enough that she takes the time to baby the things.  Me personally, I don’t like ‘em all that much, wouldn’t bother putting in tha’ much effort.”  Popping out of the trees, Will waved over to Alicia, getting her attention to let them know they had arrived.

Alicia looked over, “Good – kid came back with ya.  I’ll finish hanging this line and then I’ll get food out.”  She turned back to the laundry.

Will nodded, “understood ma’am.”  He looked over and down at Danny, “We best wash our hands and start setting out dishes then.”

Getting the table set up with a small plate, bowl, and spoon for each of them, Danny grabbed the pot of oatmeal, while Will grabbed the scrambled eggs.  They got them set down in time for Alicia to round the corner from the back.  “Aah, thank you kindly boys.  Wasn’t expecting ya both to set up, but I’m grateful.”  Sitting down, she started dishing out a ladle of oatmeal for everyone and Will pushed off some eggs on each plate.  Danny waited a moment for Will and Alicia to settle down and then started eating.

After breakfast, Alice once again shooed Will off to work and had Danny help her wash and put away the dishes.  Putting the towel back on the oven handle, Alice turned to her nephew.  “Well.  We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”  She glanced around.  “Ya bring a water bottle with ya or anything?”

Danny furrowed his eyebrows, “Uh no.”  He flushed, “I forgot to grab one when packing.”

Alicia huffed, bending down to open a lower cabinet, and rummaged around before pulling out a spare canteen.  Standing up, she unscrewed the lid and looked down into it with one eye closed.  “Don’t think there’s dust or nothing in there.  Should work fine for ya.”  She passed it off to Danny and started walking out the door.  “Get it filled and I’ll see ya outside.  If you need to pee, now’s the time to do it.”  She walked out and left Danny in the cabin.  Looking around, he didn’t see anywhere other than the sink to fill up the water.  Shrugging, he got it filled up from the sink, then quickly went to the bathroom.  Looping the water bottle strap around himself, he left the cabin.  Making sure to latch it closed, he walked towards Alicia who had put on a wide brimmed hat and they started up the slope together.

“Soooo,” Danny said.  “What’re we doing today?”

Alicia chuckled, “you’ll see.  I always found it easier myself to see what someone was talking about than to just listen to someone blabber on.”

They headed back up to the animals.  Walking towards the barn, Danny squinted his eyes at the change in light as they reentered.  He put a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stifle a cough.  Alice looked over at him, eyes crinkling.  “First order of business, mucking out the stalls.  I’ll do the first one, then you’ll take over, so make sure you’re watching closely.”  Danny wrinkled his nose as he took his hand away and watched Alicia roll up a wheel barrow from the side.  She picked up a pitchfork, and as she speared the poop, started talking.

“You’re probably familiar with the poop part of this.  You want to get out all the large patties, and then go back and clean up the pissed sections.”  Alicia grunted as she lifted a large chunk into the wheelbarrow.  “It ain’t tricky, but sometimes the animals like to cover the patches, so you gotta make sure that you get all the spots.  We want them to have clean stalls when we bring them back in this evening.  Specially the cows, don’t want them to get infections or nothing.”  Alicia looked over at Danny who was looking up into the loft.

“Hey!” she called, and Danny dropped his head down to look at her.  “You got that?”

“Yes, Aunt Alice,” Danny rubbed the back of his neck. 

Alicia narrowed her eyes at him, then continued mucking out the stall.  When she finished, she handed the necessary tools over.  “Your turn kid.”

Danny flushed as he grabbed at the pitchfork, “Uh yes.”  He looked around before facing his aunt.  “What am I doing?”

Alicia stared him down.  “The next stall, boy.  Get to it.”

Danny gulped and walked to the stall next to the one Alice finished.  “So I just-“ and he mimed stabbing a poop patty.

Alicia raised an eyebrow and stared Danny down.

Turning back around, he prodded the pile.  Standing there a moment, he shifted his stance and jerked the tines into the pile.  He wiggled it in a little further.  Glancing over at the wheelbarrow, he started to crouch a little, bracing against his leg, and tried to leverage the pile up.  The pitchfork shook a little and Danny shifted a foot back to steady himself.  He shuffled around and clumsily wiggleded the poop off and into the wheelbarrow.  He looked up at Alicia.  Alicia looked back into the stall then back at Danny.  Figuring that was as good of a “go ahead” as he was going to get, he turned back into the stall and continued.  Alicia came to stand by the stall entrance and give the occasional tip as Danny rooted around looking around for spots to clean up.  Danny groaned as he finished the last spot.  Rubbing his arm, he turned toward Alicia.

As he opened his mouth, Alicia cut him off, “On to the next.”

Danny shut his mouth, glowering a little, and stepped over to the next stall in line.  By the time he finished with that one, Alicia had come back with additional stall bedding, spreading it out and filling in the bare spots.  Danny leaned against the stall divider and opened up his bottle, taking a gulp of water.  It dribbled down his chin and he wiped it off.  He hung his arms over the divider as he watched Alicia.  Her movements were smooth and practiced, and she was methodical, poking around and moving material, building it up in spots and thinning it out in others.  Alicia stepped back, shovel planted by her side.  She glanced over at Danny, not surprised to see him watching. 

“Any questions?”

Danny shook his head.

“No?  Well, I’ll leave you to the rest then,” and grinned at him, before leaning the shovel to the side and walking out of the barn.

Danny sighed and dropped his head for a moment.  It wasn’t hard to get the gist of what he had to do, but all of them?  It felt like he spent an hour just cleaning out the two he did already.  Not looking forward to the rest of the day, Danny pushed off the wall to continue.

At some point, Danny noticed something watching him from the barn door.  His shoulders tensed as he turned around.  The shape was grounded, solid in a way that most ghosts couldn’t replicate, and Danny felt his shoulders relax some.  Squinting against the bright light pouring in, he made out a fuzziness to whatever it was.  As his eyes adjusted enough to see more, Danny smiled.  It was a large dog, light in color except for the face and ears where the fur darkened.  Just as he was about to take a step to walk over, a low bark echoed throughout the barn.  Danny stopped.  The dog stood up but otherwise didn’t move, keeping eyes on him. 

“Hey,” Danny said.  “Aunt Alice said your name was Skip?”

The dog lowered its head down, staring down Danny.

Hearing footsteps coming from outside, Danny looked up.  Alice came to the entrance by Skip’s side.  “Sit,” she said.  Turning to Danny, “can you turn away from Skip a little?” 

Crouching down, she talked to Skip for a moment, before standing up and walking towards Danny.  “Alright, this is Danny.”  Coming to a stop near Danny, she clapped a hand on his shoulder.  “He’s going to be staying with us a while Skip.”

Skip stood up, turned away, and walked off.  Alice faced Danny.  “Well, that was Skip.  He isn’t the most friendly to strangers, but he’ll get used to you being around eventually.  Not that he hangs around us all that often.  Skip spends a lot of time with the chickens, sometimes the cows or pigs depending.  And you,” Alicia shook a finger at him, “will be out with the crops.  Shouldn’t run into any problems with Skip, just don’t startle him.”

Danny’s face fell, “Got it.” 

Alice looked around.  “So, you about finished in here?”

Danny ducked his head, “eeh about that.”

Alicia sighed, “Ok.  Well, once you get done with this, come find me.  I’ll be around, but if you can’t find me, just give a shout.”  She walked back out of the barn.

Danny sighed, hopes of having a dog crushed once again, and got back to work.

_____

Putting the tools back where Alicia grabbed them from, Danny walked out of the barn.  Stepping out of the shade, his hand flew up to shade his eyes from the sudden sun.  Glancing around, he didn’t see Alicia.  The woods on one side, chicken area in front, barn behind, and fields on his left.  Danny’s arms were aching, and he turned toward the woods. 

Walking through them for a while, Danny found a downed tree and sat down on it.  Head turned up to the dappled sunlight, arms stretched back, legs thrown out in front of him, he breathed deeply.  He slowly built up energy in his chest, before directing the collected ectoplasm out from his fingers, through the log, and into the surrounding area.  Nothing ectoplasmic echoed back through the connection and Danny slowed pulled it back, collecting and dispersing it back into himself.  Once confirming there were no ghosts out there, he fully settled his weight down onto his hands. 

He ignored the guilt building a home in his stomach and stayed for a few minutes, letting the sun soak into his being.  Danny was starting to get warm, bordering on hot - a foreign feeling ever since his ice core fully formed.  His eyelids fluttered closed and a soft breeze blew through, taking the edge of the heat off.  Danny could feel his heart slowing, mind growing fuzzy, and then he toppled back off the log.  His back hit the ground and the air escaped his lungs.  Wheezing softly, he stayed there for a moment.  Gathering breath back in his lungs, he tried to roll himself over.  Picking himself up, Danny did his best to brush the dirt and leaves off his backside.  Turning his attention back where he came from, he stomped his way to the farm.

Coming back up to the path around the farm, Danny spied Alicia coming up to the barn.  He started jogging faster before deciding to turn invisible and fly into the barn.  Setting down in a shaded corner, Danny turned visible and walked to the open doors.  Looking around behind him, he double checked that everything looked alright and walked out. 

Alicia was almost to the barn doors, looking back at the chickens, when Danny popped out.  “Hey!”  Danny called.  Alicia turned around to look at Danny before sending one last glance back.  Waiting for Alicia to get to the barn, Danny rocked back and forth on his heels.  His arms didn’t ache as much as when he first finished, but he could still feel the shaky weakness in them.  Danny flashed a smile at her as she got to him.

“So, how are you feeling?  Up to walking through the fields with me?”

Danny grimaced before he could stop himself. 

Alicia looked at him, “I’ll take that as a yes.”  She started walking away.

“Uh.” Danny started.  Alicia stopped.  “I – uh – what do I do with the, uuh, poop.  In the wheelbarrow?”

Alicia sighed before changing directions, walking back up and into the barn.  “I’ll show ya.  You’re gonna dump it in a pile out back.  We let it sit and age a while before using it.  Not the most glamorous, but it does the job.” 

Danny followed her in and took up the handles on the wheelbarrow.  Alicia led him out back, through the gated fence, and to a pile of poop.  Danny wrinkled his nose.  It didn’t smell as bad as he thought, but it wasn’t pleasant either.  He watched Alicia pick up a shovel that was leaning against a tree nearby, and she scooped the poop out of the small wheelbarrow and onto the pile.  In a minute she was done and set the shovel back down.

“As I said, not hard.  Get that wheelbarrow back where I grabbed it from this morning and catch up to me.  We’ve got a lot to do today.”

Danny hurried to comply and jogged to get back to Alicia who was halfway to the fields.

“Sooo,” Danny stretched out the syllable, “what’re we doing anyways?  Like the plants are all planted and stuff, right?”

Alicia scoffed at him and continued walking out to the fields.  Coming up to a large field of corn, she sharply turned left and kept walking alongside it.

Danny hopped a little on one leg to change direction and catch up.  After a few minutes of following Alicia and looking around the area – primarily at the woods in the distance, watching a bird fly up and overhead, and trying to find some shapes in the clouds – Danny sighed.  He looked over at Alicia.  Tried to find another bird to watch.  Looked back down.  Then further down at his feet.  Kicked a stray rock, causing a small dust cloud to rise up.  Alicia huffed.  Danny paused for a moment.  Started swinging his arms back and forth.  Stopped.  Started humming.  Stopped.  Shifted his weight on every step so he bobbed and swayed along more than walked.  Stopped that.  Looked back up at the clouds.  He could feel the sun warming the back of his neck as they went.

Alicia glanced over at him, causing Danny’s extraneous movements to still.  His shoulders lifted and he ducked his head down.  After another moment Alicia put her hands in her pockets.  Sighed.  “If Will wasn’t using the tractor to go around the farm today I would’ve taken you around in it.”  She leaned over to examine some of the corn stalks they passed by.  Straightening back up Alicia said to Danny, “There’s still a lot to do on the farm.  We may not be primarily livestock, but crops also require a fair bit of work.  We have to make sure they’re getting enough water, fertilize from time to time, spray for bugs and other diseases, weeding of course, making sure we don’t see signs of problems on the plants themselves, taking care of tractor maintenance – among other daily tasks.  You’ll be out in the fields mostly.  I’ll show you what needs done these first few days and then you’ll be sent off to do those tasks.  Don’t worry, I’ll let you know what to focus on, but,” Alicia shrugged, “a lot of it comes down to watching and learning the first few days.”

“Oh.”  Danny said.  “Uh, so what kinds of plants do you grow here?”  He scratched his warm neck.

Alice lifted up her hat before setting it back down, “Well, we’re a bit unusual – mostly growing feed for the livestock farms around here.  Remember when you and Jazz jumped into town last year from Air Grits?”

Danny nodded, “Yeah, that was weird; drove in this time though.”

Alice lifted her eyebrows for a moment, “Yep.  Bit of a hassle to drive into town though?”

Danny looked away, “Uuuh yea, the roads were kind of bumpy?”

Letting out a loud barking laugh, Alice said, “That’s one way to put it.  The road up here has a lot of sections through the woods too.  People here don’t drive from town to town all that often.  Makes us pretty secluded, and since there's not a lot of traffic it doesn’t make much sense to put money aside to pave a more direct route in.  Easier to just jump in from a plane for the most part.  Unless you live close that is.”

“I guess.  But what does that have to do with your farm?”  Danny wrinkled his noise as a breeze briefly brought the smell of manure his way.

“Mmm,” Alicia started.  “Well, animals need a lot of food, and the harder it is to get it brought in, the more expensive it is.  Growing up, your ma and me saw how the farmers struggled with the prices.  When I grew up, I decided to shift the family farm to silage to help with the demand.    You won’t see a lot of farms like mine, most of the food is grown outside of our region here or in other states entirely.”  She paused.  “It’s also a hell of a lot more trouble to get it to all work out if I’m honest.  There’s a reason crops aren’t grown in these parts.”

Danny nodded, looking back at the trees they passed by.

“To answer your original question, we got a field we plant cover crops in.  Depending on what we’ve got, I’ll send the cows and pigs out there during the days.  You won’t spend a lot of time there.  Then we’ve got this corn that we’re passing.  Unlike the corn we eat, this gets left to dry out after it gets done growing.”

Danny looked over the field, eyebrows pinched together.  “Corn?”

“Yessir, this is a corn field we’re walking by.  I guess for a city boy like you, it’ll be easier to tell in a few weeks.  These here are still growing their ears.  We’ve got some fields we planted earlier – they got their ears and silk already.  You’ll see them tomorrow probably.”

“Why?”  Danny interjected, “Why did you plant them like that?”

“Well,” Alice starts, “Oh, we’re coming up to the wheat here,” and pointed forward to the next field.  “We stagger our fields like that, so we stagger what time they’re ready to harvest.  It doesn’t make sense to flood the ranchers around here with a bunch of feed all at once, or to hafta store a bunch of it.  Arkansas up here in the north is a little interesting.  I started doing that a couple years back, and it’s been alright.  More work on my and Will’s end, but,” Alice shrugged.

Danny looked up at her, then tried standing on his tip toes as he walked.  He couldn’t see past the tops of the corn stalks and stumbled over an uneven patch on the ground.  Righting himself, he glanced back up at his aunt.  “So you’ve got corn and wheat, anything else?”

Alice looked down at him briefly, “Sometimes we’ll do soybeans, sometimes sorghum.  Depends.  Nothing you’ll have to worry about either way.  I think we’ll keep ya working on the wheat and corn this summer.”  Alicia looked at him from the corner of her eye.  “Speaking of, you drive yet?”

Danny choked on some spit, “Sorry?”  He cleared his throat, “I’m still a few months shy of being able to get my permit.  Eeeer,” Danny looked up her, “Why?”

“Aaah,” Alice said.  More to herself than Danny, she muttered, “No matter, I’ll have to teach ya regardless.”  She looked off in the distance before turning back to Danny.  “Today, we’re going to go around the farm.  I’ll show ya where are the different sections are and how they’re organized.”

Danny squirmed, “You don’t have to do that Aunt Alicia, I could walk around by myself.  I don’t want to take you away from your work.”

Alicia narrowed her eyes at him.  “You won’t be.  I’ve got stuff to do out in the fields anyway.”

Deflating a little under her gaze he nodded, “Okay.”

Walking out to edge of the farm, Alicia took Danny through a section of wheat, pointing out things to watch out for, checking moisture levels, and more.  Danny did his best to pay attention, but kept getting distracted by the wind brushing through the wheat.  The plants would bend and rub against one another, creating a raspy sound, like someone walking around.  After a sudden gust that caused Danny to jump, Alicia looked up at him.  She waited for Danny to settle again, then went back to what she was doing.  He could feel his shoulders tense and looked around the tops of the wheat to make sure that there really wasn’t anyone around.  Danny moved to crouch down next to his aunt. He started to lean off to one side, unbalanced on the ground, and it was only when he put out a hand to brace himself did Danny notice that his hands were balled into fists.  He slowly unclenched his left hand, the tension dissipating as he flexed it.  Turning back to Alicia, he noticed she had turned to look at him.  Danny looked back at her.  She raised an eyebrow.

At Danny’s clueless face, she rolled her eyes.  “Look over at the roots by you – do you see anything out of the ordinary?” 

Danny ears flushed pink as he turned his head to look around him. 

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly, with Alice pulling snack bars from her overall pockets as a short break while they walked through more sections.  As they exited a corn field, Danny heard a rumbling in the distance.  After a minute or two of walking down the wider path, Alicia angled her head back, listening to something.  “Seems Will is driving the tractor back.  If he crosses near us, and has the cart hitched up, we can get a ride back.”

Danny desperately hoped that he would see Will.  He might have the occasional ghost fight and Sam as a friend, but he wasn’t fit.  After a day walking around, crouching and standing, his legs were tired, feet aching, and even his arms felt heavy.  Danny couldn’t wait to get back to his cabin and fall face first onto his bed asleep.  His stomach grumbled out.  Actually, dinner first, then sleep.  Hearing a change in the tractor rumble, Danny looked behind him and saw the tractor turn down their row.  Danny waved at Will, and Alicia turned around.  Ushering Danny to the side of the path, they let Will come to a stop, before closing the distance.

Grinning over at them, Will opened the door and told Danny, “You look dead on ya feet, kid.  Ready to get back?”

“Yes please,” Danny begged.

“Alright, then climb in.”  Will closed the door.

Danny gave a little wave and followed Alicia to the back, climbing up into the cart hitched up.

As Will got closer to the upper cabins, he let Alicia and Danny off before he went off to park the tractor and finish up some tasks.

“Well,” Alicia said, stretching out her back, “I’ve got some stuff to get in order before dinner.  If you want to call home, I’ve got a landline down in my house.  There’s not enough time to take a nap or anything, not that I’d recommend it anyway.  Or you could always take another look in the barn, see if there’s anything to muck out before the animals bed down for the night.

“Ok,” Danny said.  Alicia quickly turned and made her way down to the lower area.  Danny stood there for a minute, looking off into the woods, before making his way behind his cabin to the freestanding outhouse.

After, he ambled to his cabin.  Throwing open the door, he walked over to his bed.  He flopped down on top of it, a leg and arm hanging over the edge.  Danny wasn’t sure how much time he actually had before dinner, but he just wanted to be horizontal for a while.  His body settled down, weighing into the mattress as he tried to stop thinking.  After a while, his face got tired of being smashed into the sheets and Danny turned his head to the side, examining the little cabin.  The sunlight coming in through the windows was yellow orange and muted.  He watched the dust motes dance down the shaft of light before they disappeared into the shadows by his face.  Feeling his body relax further, his turned his attention to his wide open door.  The sounds of the woods filtered in, quiet, through it.  He heard a deep bark come from Skip from somewhere.  The sounds of a fly buzzing around his doorframe before flying off.  Birds called back and forth.  Danny sighed and felt his eyelids slide shut.  He couldn’t wait to start counting down the days until he returned to Amity Park.

When Danny could feel his heart slowing down, he quickly opened his eyes and pushed himself up.  The sudden shift started his heart beating rapidly.  Despite wanting to sleep so badly after this day, Danny did not want to miss dinner and he had a sinking feeling that his aunt would not be happy if he didn’t show up.  Not knowing how much time passed, he got up and left his cabin, making sure the latch clicked shut before he walked down to Alicia’s cabin.  Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, he made his way down the slope.  He didn’t call last night, despite promising his family he would.  Danny was relatively assured that his mom would’ve called Alice anyway.  More than that, Danny wanted to check in with Sam and Tucker.  As enthusiastic as his parents could be about chasing down ghosts, they were hardly reliable when it came to dealing with the ghosts in town.

He heard a steady clacking as he approached Alice’s door, and opening it, he found her in the kitchen cutting up ingredients. 

Danny looked around, then cleared his throat.  After a moment, Alice turned around to face Danny.  “What’s up?”

“Uuh, I’d like to use the phone.  If there’s still time before dinner?”

Alice gave one short nod then gestured, curving her hand around to point.  “Phone is on the other side of this wall, it’s a mounted one.  You can pull up a chair if you want.  I reckon you have enough time for a call.”

“Or two, if you’ve got a special someone,” she tacked on, laughing when Danny spluttered half formed words at her.  “Aah just kidding kid,” Alice said as she turned back around.

Danny let out a wheezy, “thanks,” before walking to the other side of the wall.  He found the aged yellow phone on the other side easily enough.  Pausing in front of it, he took a deep breath, before lifting up his hand to the receiver.  His hand rested there for a moment before he tightened his fingers and pulled the phone off, dialing the FentonWorks business number with his other hand.  Bringing the phone up to his ear, he shifted his weight, an arm coming around to wrap around himself. 

Briing brriiiing.

….

Briing Brriiing.

….

Bri – “Hello?”  A female voice answered.  “You’ve reached the FentonWorks business.  If it’s about ghosts or specters, we’re here to help.  What can we do for you today?”

Danny let out a breath at his mom’s practiced spiel.  “Hey, Mom.”

A gasp crackled through the landline, “Oh Danny!” she said in surprise.  “Oh, honey, why didn’t you call the house number?”

Danny looked up at a corner of the cabin.  “They all end up at the same place though?”

“Honey, but it’s different phones that ring – you know that.  And I’m not sure your father deleted off old voicemails from this number, so if we weren’t here to catch your phone call you wouldn’t have been able to leave a message!”

“That’s what I was hoping for,” Danny mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?  Danny, you have to –“

“IS THAT OUR DANNY BOY?!  HOW IS HE?  ENJOYING LIFE WITH YOUR OLD BAT OF AN SISTER?”  Jack’s booming voice cut through, clear enough to understand even as it crackled the closer he got to the phone.

Danny heard a rustling and a light smack on the other side.  “Jack darling, my sister is not an old bat,” she admonished.  “But yes, it’s Danny.”  A pause.  “Danny can you hold on a moment?  I’m going to put you on speaker.”

Danny’s hand crept up to the coiled cord connecting the phone to the base.

A couple of clicks, then – “Oh Danny, can you hear us?”

And a competing “Still there Danny?” coming through at the same time.

Danny winced as the phone screeched.  “Yeah,” his fingers twisted around the cord, “I’m still here.”

“Oh wonderful,” his mom said, “how are you settling in?”

“Meet any farm animals yet?” his dad asked.  A breath, then an excited “Meet any country ghosts?”

Danny sighed, his fingers twisting up more in the cord.  “I’m doing fine.  Aunt Alice explained where everything is, and I pretty much fell asleep after moving my clothes out of the suitcase.  Sorry I didn’t end up calling you last night.”

“That’s fine sweetie, your aunt gave us a short call last night to let us know you made it there alright.”

Danny hummed, hunch confirmed.  Hearing his dad take a breath in, Danny quickly tacked on, “and I haven’t seen any ghosts, Dad.  Met some cows, pigs, chickens, and the farm dog though.”

“And how is Skip doing?” Maddie asked.

Danny’s face scrunched up, “Fine?  I guess?  He didn’t like that I showed up today, just kind of stared at me for a bit before walking off.”

Maddie laughed.  “That sounds like him.  He’s nice enough when he warms up to you.  But no, he isn’t too fond of strangers.  Just give it time Danny.”

Danny huffed.

“Yes, yes, but I think he’ll be back before then Maddie,” Jack replied.

“Oh, you’re absolutely right dear.  How are –“  Danny heard distant footsteps.

“Is that Danny?” his sister’s voice called out in the distance, a whisper coming through the phone.

“YES, COME HERE JAZZ, SAY HI!” his dad yelled.

Danny untwisted his fingers from the cord before starting to wrap them up again.  “Hi Jazz,” he said.

“Oooh!  Hi Danny!  How are you doing!?”

“Alright,” he said.  “Aunt Alice was finishing dinner.  I just wanted to check in with you guys before then.”

“Ok Danny.  Well, thank you for that.  We don’t want to keep you too long then.”  Jazz’s voice turned sharp, “Do we?”

“No! No, we don’t Jazzy pants!  Don’t forget to call later!  We miss you Danny boy!  Don’t work yourself too hard, but make sure you listen to your ba-“ Jack cleared his throat, “your aunt.”

“I suppose we should let you go then Danny.  Thank you for calling us.  As nice as it was to know you were there safe, it’s even better hearing your voice.  We miss you sweetie, love you!” Maddie said.

A twin chorus of “Love you”s sounded off after her.

“Love you guys,” Danny said.  He clicked the phone back on.  Sighing, he pulled it back off after a minute.  Dialing a different number, he waited for the signal to connect.  Danny started counting, but before he could reach five, he heard it connect.

“Sam?” Danny said.

A gasp, “Danny?  Oh, I didn’t know you’d be able to call so soon!”

Danny smiled.  He heard a small voice come through, “Is that Danny?”  After a moment, a much louder, “Hey dude!  How are you?  Is it smelly there?  Did you get a signal with my Charlotte?”

“Hey Tucker, Sam.  Uuh, no Tucker, your PDA didn’t connect to anything.  Other than that, it’s fine.  I was outside, like, all day today.  My legs feely like jelly,” he grouched.

Sam clicked her tongue, “This is why you, and Tucker, should join me when I exercise!”

“You can NOT convince me to join your exercise regime,” Tucker said.

“One day,” Sam vowed, “one day you’ll join me, Tucker Foley.”

Danny laughed.  “Alright, I’m glad I reached both of you.  I’ve got some questions about our,” Danny paused for a moment, “city guests?”

“Guests?” Tucker said.  “What do you – oof.”

“Ghosts, Tucker, keep up,” Sam hissed.

“Got it, there was no need to elbow me though.”

Danny could imagine Tucker melodramatically massaging his side as Sam rolled her eyes at him.  “So?” he prompted.  “Anything to worry about?”

Tucker sighed, “dude it’s been dead around here, Poindexter was walking around campus yesterday, the Box Ghost was seen flying around the warehouses, and then today Vaaaal – the Red Huntress was chasing Skulker.”

“Skulker?” Danny snapped.

“Yeah, no need to get your pants twisted Danny,” Sam said, “it was Skulker out of his suit of all things.  No clue why he was wandering around like that.”

“It was weird seeing his naked, blobby ass Danny!”

“Eeeew, Tucker!”

“What?”

“Gross!  Anyway, Danny, despite having so many sightings the past few days, there haven’t been many problems.  Even your parents have kept the GAV destruction to a minimum.  Your dad only dented a stop sign pole and your mom only scorched some leaves while blasting at the Box Ghost.”

“Huh,” Danny said, “that’s good.  I guess?”

“Relax, dude, if any problems pop up, Sam and me have got this.  Along with Valerie.  We won’t let anything too bad happen.  And hey!  If all else fails, then your parents are always around.”

Danny snorted, “thanks, I feel so much better now.”

Sam sighed, “seriously though Danny, take it easy.  You are nowhere near Amity right now, so it’s no use worrying about it.  We have it covered and before you know it, you’ll be back.”

“Yeah, alright,” Danny said, fingers twisting in the cord again.  “Okay.  That’s – thanks for letting me know.”

“Are you okay?” Tucker asked.

Danny sighed into the receiver.  “Yeah.”  Silence stretched out between the two sides of the call.  Danny heard Alicia shuffle out of the cabin and down the steps.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Danny said.  “I’m just.  UUuugh.  I don’t understand why my parents thought I needed to get away from Amity Park.  And my sister didn’t help, butting in with all these psychology studies about stressed teenagers, and environments, and whatnot.  Can you believe that fink convinced my parents to send me away for basically my entire break!?!  I already missed half of summer being in school, and now I’m out in the middle of nowhere?  It’s stupid.  I don’t even know why they thought the ghosts attacks were putting me on edge in the first place!  I don’t even stick around for the ghost fights as Fenton because I’m so busy running off to fight them myself,” Danny hissed.  He heard a stair creak.  He sighed, letting the tension bleed out of him.  “Anyway, how are you guys?  Enjoying your summer?”

Sam and Tucker started talking about how excited they were for a new movie that was coming out next week and Danny smiled softly, listening to their back and forth.  Hearing someone clear their throat behind him, he turned around, and lowered the phone away from his ear.

“Dinner’s gonna be done soon kiddo,” Alice said.

“Thanks,” Danny mouthed.

Finding a short break in the conversation, Danny interrupted whatever retort was coming next, “Hey, guys.  I’m glad I could catch both of you, but I got to go.  I’ll talk to you both later?”  He untangled his fingers from the cord.

“Oh,” Sam said, “Yes, of course.  Bye Danny!”

“Bye!  Talk to you later!” Tucker said.

“Bye.”  Danny clicked the phone back in place.

Collecting himself, Danny breathed out, plastered a neutral expression onto his face, and turned around to walk outside for dinner.

_______

Danny was in his bed.  He was exhausted.  His arms ached, his feet were sore, and his eyes were tired. 

He rolled over.  It was dark, likely the middle of the night, and he was groggy, limbs still heavy and heart slow from sleep.  So why was he awake?  He heard a far off call coming from the direction of the woods.  ‘Probably a wolf’, he thought.  Closing his eyes, Danny settled back down.  Or tried to.  His skin itched and Danny twisted around to rest on his other side.  Scrunched together his eyelids.  Moved his feet around.  Sighed, then pushed himself up.  Slipping on his boots, he opened up the cabin door and stepped outside. 

Looking around, Danny didn’t see anything concerning.  He stepped down and walked around the cabin, looking at the sky and the darkness in between the trees.    Danny walked back in the cabin, pulling the door till he heard the latch click, then walked to his bed.  Sitting down he took a deep breath, held it, and his eyes glowed green in the dark as he released the breath.  Ecto pooled beneath his feet and he pushed it through the ground.  He stretched out his consciousness with the ecto, making sure that there was nothing unexpected in the area.  The only thing he sensed was a small pool of ectoplasm in the ground, far enough down that it was probably undisturbed by anyone for hundreds of years.  Breathing in, he called his ecto back.  Breathed in, then out.  Followed the path of his breath through his body as it traveled.  In through the nose, down to his lungs, inflating, then back up and out.  Once he felt sufficiently centered in his body again, Danny kicked off his boots and laid back down.  Sleep claimed him quickly once more.

Sun hitting Danny’s face woke him up.  Throwing an arm over his eyes, Danny groaned.  He still felt sore from the day before, tired from the ghosts fights prior to coming to his aunt’s, and annoyed from being sent in the first place.  In short, Danny was grumpy.  The sharp rap on his door a couple minutes later did not help.

“Up and at ‘em Danny.”

“I’m up!” he called back.

Hearing footsteps recede, Danny groaned.  Loudly.  Maybe he could convince his parents to pick him up?  Call this summer trip short?  Danny started plotting ways to get back home, with his parents’ permission, as he followed Alicia back to the chickens, then off to the barn.

Neither spoke to one another, Danny doing his best to help Alice.  Before long, she had him mucking out the stalls again as she walked off to attend to other chores.  As Alice said, it wasn’t tricky and the repetition had Danny zoning out, daydreaming about being back in Amity. 

A short step back, and Danny tripped over a trough.  Hitting the ground hard, he felt something squish against his backside.  Danny sighed.  He closed his eyes, gathered some motivation, then swung his legs over the trough and fully onto the ground.  Standing up, he twisted around to see the cow pie he landed in.  Wrinkling his nose, Danny pushed intangibility through his body to get the crap to drop off his butt and walked out of the way before releasing it.  He stood there, feeling the warmth of the sun heating up the open doorway, and looked at the two stalls left to do.  Danny was just about to turn around and walk off for a little break, when his mom’s chiding voice echoed through his head.  Turning back around, he went to finish the job before the food bell rang out.

Later that day, the walkie that Alice had given Danny earlier that day crackled to life. “DANNY!  Get the first aid kit from the barn and get out to the field Will was working in.  Now.”

Click.

Danny, who had been lounging by the storage barn, darted inside to grab the kit that hung up there, and ran back out.  He activated his flight so he lifted just above the ground, and flew most of the distance to the field.  When he was close, he dropped back down and ran the rest of the way.

“Mmmm fine,” Will slurred out.

“Will Archibald Jacobson don’t you dare,” Danny heard Alice hiss out.

He darted around a row to see Will by the woodchipper, Alice holding his arm above his head.  “What happened?” Danny yelled, dashing the last few yards to them.

Will’s arm was wrapped in his overshirt, blood soaking into the fabric.  He had blood on his tank shirt and his pants.  Blood dripped down to his neck.  His face had an out of focus expression.

Danny set down the first aid kit.

Flipping it open, Alice responded, “darn idiot got distracted and forgot about the woodchipper next to him.”

“Hey!” Will protested.  “Kid, don’t listen to her, I was… safe, prom’se!  Jus’ go’ startled by this green thing – glowing like the sun – ‘n tripped ‘n fell is all.”

“Danny, press here,” Alice instructed, ignoring Will’s slurred explanation.

Danny helped Alice wrap up Will’s arm tight.  Hauling him to his feet, Alice turned around.  ��Danny, I’m going to take him into town.  I’m not sure how deep that cut went, but,” she trailed off, looking at the dopey look on Will’s face.

“Got it, what do you want me to do?”

Hoisting a shoulder over her own, Alice grunted, “help me get him there.”

Danny darted under Will’s other side to support him, and they started to walk him back.  Will protested the whole way, claiming that he was fit as a fiddle and definitely didn’t need to walk into town and that they should check out ‘the weird creature in the woods, big, green, and glowing, can’t miss it’.  Danny extended some of his flight powers to Will, lightening the load on him and Alice.   They walked Will past Alice’s cabin, through a short stretch of woods, and into town.  Will finally quieted down, grumbling instead of loudly complaining, and they made it into the small clinic.

“Patty!”  Alice called out. 

A middle aged woman came out from the back door, “what’s – oh, get him into the back room.”  She propped the door open, and let them pass her, pointing them to one of the two examination rooms.  Shooing Alice and Danny back out once they set him down, Patty got to work.

Walking back out to waiting room, Danny felt sick to his stomach.  He was supposed to have gone to help Will out that afternoon, but decided to take his time and took a break near the chickens instead.  “Is he going to be ok, Aunt Alice?”

“Probably,” Alice said, but the furrows between her eyebrows told a different story.  “Well, nothing much to do in the meantime.  You been through town yet?”

Danny blinked at the sudden shift, “uh, no, not yet.”

“Then I’ll show you around real quick while we’re here, make the most of this.”

Alice took Danny around, which consisted of walking him up and down Mainline and Riverway, the two major streets of the small town.  There were only a handful of shops, the clinic, and a gas station.

“That’s it?”  Danny asked as they walked back to the clinic.

“Yep,” Alice popped the p.

“It’s…. tiny.”

Sighing, Alice said, “well yea, most folks around here stay on the farms.  You have a few homes down here near town, but most people prefer to move down to the bigger town about 50 miles from here.”

Stepping into the clinic, Danny now noticed the chime that signaled their entrance.  They settled down in two of the three seats in the front area.

A few minutes later, Patty walked back out.  “Well, Will should be fine.  It’ll take a while for his arm to heal up, but he’s still got movement and feeling, so I don’t think he’s got any nerve damage.”  She smiled at them.  “Lucky, though, that he didn’t lose too much blood.  I got him a snack and had him lay down in the meantime.  What’d he even do?  He had fat hanging out of the wound and everything.”

“Fool got distracted and the wood chipper was nearby,” Alice grumbled.

“He tripped into it,” Danny added.

“Hmm, well alright.  You guys gonna take him back up to the farm?” Patty asked.

Alice uncrossed her arms, placing her hands on her knees.  “Suppose so.  His family’s too far away to call to get him today.  I’ll see if they’ll come pick him up tomorrow.”  She sighed, running a hand through her mullet.  “Tomorrow’s Saturday, so they probably will.”

“Definitely lucked out then,” Patty said.  She walked back to check on Will.

Waiting for the “all clear” to take Will back up, Danny stewed in his thoughts.  He hadn’t exactly done anything outright wrong, but Danny knew that if he had taken his job more seriously, he would’ve been with Will and maybe he wouldn’t have gotten hurt or as badly or –

“Stop thinkin’ so loud.”

Danny jumped.  The swirl of his thoughts coming to a halt.

“I’m sorry,” Danny whispered.

“What for?”

“I –“ Danny paused.  “I –“

“Danny,” Alice cut in.  “It ain’t your fault.”

“But –“

“Nope.  Whatever ya think ya did or didn’t do, it’s not your fault.”  Alice side eyed his hunched, guilty looking form.  “Stuff like this happens – whether or not anyone else is around.  So don’t worry too much.”

Danny dropped his head down.

The silence stretched between them.  Alice looked out the window, and Danny made a promise to himself to take this summer more seriously.

__________

The next morning, Danny waved Will and his family off as they left down the back road.  He’d be gone for the next couple of weeks to keep him away from the temptation of working.  Knowing they’d have to pick up the slack, Danny and Alice hurried back to work.

_________

A week later, Danny was settling into a routine, getting comfortable around the farm.  He was getting quicker at mucking out the stalls, and as such, he had some time to do some laundry.  Taking the path down to Alice’s cabin, he passed under one of the open cabin windows.

“-addie.”

Danny stopped.  Was Alicia talking to his mom?

“Danny?”  Alicia asked.

Oh, they were talking about him.  He stood there, holding his bag of laundry, curious about what his aunt would say.

“No, he’s doing good work around the farm.”

Danny shuffled a foot around, making circles in the dirt as he listened in.

“Yeah Madds, I can see why you’re so fond of him.”  Alicia laughed in response to something Maddie said.  “That he is, you raised a good boy.”

Danny’s eyes widened.  Bugs buzzed around in the grass around him.

“Mmmm.  If he didn’t have school to get back to, I wouldn’t mind keeping him around,” Danny overheard.  Eyes widening, he decided to quickly walk off to the laundry. 

He hadn’t realized that his aunt liked him that much.  Even more surprising that she’d want to keep him on.  Danny remembered the start of summer school when his teacher all but groaned at him walking in.  Danny had just failed the second half of their class not 2 weeks before.  Due to the sudden ghost appearances, Danny hadn’t been the most reliable in the last few years.  But for someone to recognize his work?  And be satisfied with it?  Danny felt a warm feeling start in his chest.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay for the rest of the summer.

______

A couple weeks passed from that phone conversation, with Will coming back and slowly starting to pick up more work again.

Danny had, for the first time since he arrived on the farm, a short work day.  By the time lunch came around, Danny had finished his list of chores.  After getting the confirmation from Alice, he had the whole afternoon to himself.  

He walked around the farm, ending up at one of the wheat fields.  Will and Alice were focused on the corn fields for the day and wouldn’t be out this way until later.  Standing there amidst the softly swaying strands, Danny watched the sky.  The breeze in the air that moved the wheat also pushed the clouds around high above.  He decided to take a seat between the golden rows, laying on his back, arm flung behind his head.  Staring up at the clouds, he watched them flow across the sky, shifting forms as they traveled.  The sun-warmed dirt below him felt like a warm blanket on his back.  This close to the ground, it smelled sweet, a little moist and earthy.  Danny pulled his cap lower over his face as the warmth settled into his bones.  Soon enough, he was lulled off to sleep.

By the time he woke up, the sun had dipped lower in the sky.  Sitting up, Danny didn’t hear anyone around and got up.  As he walked out of the field, Danny raised his eyes, jumping a little at Skip sitting down and watching him from a distance.  Danny paused midstep.  When Skip didn’t make a move, Danny finished walking out of the wheat and onto the dirt path.  They stared at one another for a moment.  Out of view, one of the pigs grunted.  Skip blinked, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth, before he got up to walk to the pig.  Danny watched his tail wag as he left.  He chuckled softly as he headed off to Alice’s cabin. 

After dinner, he stuck around, playing a card game with Alice, Will, and Jasper.  Every so often one of the townspeople stopped by to get Alice’s opinion about something or another and stayed for a meal.  When Jasper lost the third game in a row, he called it quits and headed out for the night.  Will, Alicia, and Danny played a few more rounds themselves, Will and Danny winning a round each, with the rest of the wins going to Alice.  By the time they said their goodnights, the moon was rising.  The sky had darkened considerably and the stars were twinkling to life above them. 

“Oh.” Danny breathed, stopping on the cabin porch.

Will looked back, “Danny?”

“The sky.  I –“ he paused.  “I’ve been falling asleep so quickly I haven’t had time to really see it.”

“Oh, that all?  It’s pretty neat I guess…  Well, I’ll head up then, see ya later Danny.”

Eyes never leaving the sky, “Night Will.  See ya tomorrow.”  He walked down to sit at the table.

The door creaked open, “Oh.  Danny?  Is that you still down here?”

Danny, from the picnic table, confirmed, “Yeah.”

“Huh, I thought you and Will left a while ago.”

“Hmmhmm.  Will did, headed up already.”

“Ooook.  Well, you need anything?”

“Nope.”

“Alright,” Alice stepped down, walking up to the table.  “Well, it’s getting late.  Now, I’m not your mom, but maybe consider heading up yourself soon.”

“Ok.  Yeah, you’re right.”

“…  Ya really like those stars huh?”

Danny finally looked down, “Yeah.”  He grinned, “you can’t see the stars like this in Amity.  I mean, you can, it’s not the worst, but it’s just so clear out here!”

Alice chucked, “Sure is.  Sometimes I forget how nice it is.”

“If I lived out here, I would never take it for granted.  I bet it’s so easy to track the constellations and star movements,” Danny’s eyes lit up with the possibilities.

“Don’t know much about the stars myself but,” she shrugged, “I guess it wouldn’t be hard to, no.”

Taking one last look up at the stars, Danny got up, said goodnight to his aunt, and headed up to get ready for bed.

_______

“And Danny?  Come into my cabin for a moment, your job today is going to be a little different.”

Will frowned, “Aaah man, Danny gets to do that?”

“Do what?” Danny asked.

Alicia grinned.  “Blackberry picking.”

“Yeah, and it’s the best job of the summer,” Will grumbled.  “You better enjoy it kid.”  He stood up.  “Well, I’ll see you two later,” and he walked up the slope to get back to work.

“Bye,” Danny called.  Turning to Alicia, “So what does berry picking mean I’m doing, exactly?”  He looked around, “I haven’t noticed any berries around here.”

Alice laughed, “no you won’t.  Come inside, I have to show you where you’re going.”

Danny furrowed his eyebrows but followed her into the cabin where some maps of the farm and surrounding area and a large basket sat on the table.

Alice picked up the first map, took a look, then rifled through the pile to find one that had a large circle on it.  “Ah, here it is,” she placed it on top of the pile and pointed to the circled area.  “This is where you’re headed today.”

Danny leaned in to look over the map.  “That looks like it’s in the woods?”

“Yep,” Alicia said, “you’re going to be taking a little walk today.  I’ve got your lunch packed up, all you have to do is fill your canteen, and then head out for the day.”

Danny frowned.  “And how am I supposed to find them?”

Alice rolled her eyes, “They aren’t hard to spot.  Here,” she pointed to a different area of the map, “we are.  You’re going to head this direction,” she moved her finger up, around a small lake, and to the circle.  “It’s pretty easy walking.  The pond will keep you on track, though it’s more like a glorified puddle, but whatever.  You’ll hear the stream feeding into it, so if you do get lost, just hush up and listen.  You’ll pick the berries, put them in this basket, and when it’s full, you’ll head back.  I scoped out the area last year and this was a fairly big thicket, so even if the animals have gotten to it there should still be plenty left for you.”  She looked up at Danny.  “Got it?”

Danny worried his lip.  “I guess?”  He hadn’t really explored the surrounding area, but figured if he needed to, he could just fly up and look for the way back easily enough.

“Good.  Well, get your basket and water and get going.  I’ve got work to get to.  See you for dinner kid,” and Alicia walked out the door.

Danny took another look at the map, doing his best to memorize the path.  He sighed, picking up the basket, stopping by his cabin quickly to grab his water bottle, and started off to the trees. 

Walking into the woods, Danny noticed a strap on the basket and quickly put it over his shoulder.  The basket bobbed against his butt as he walked, but it was better than having to carry it the whole way.  As Danny got further in, the undergrowth increased.  Danny activated his intangibility and walked right through.  The sun was bouncing through the leaves, casting spots of shadow and light.  He heard the birds sitting overhead in the treetops and a beetle buzzed past Danny’s ear.  He made his way to the small lake.

As he got closer, he heard a soft bubbling sound that soon turned into a whoosh.  Then the smell of the dirt changed – rich and a little heavy on the tongue.  Danny walked through a bush and saw the puddle.  If he wasn’t intangible, he would’ve gotten his boots wet. 

Huh, Danny thought.  It really is small.

The pond was only a couple of yards across and looked shallow.

Danny looked to his left and saw the stream that fed into it.  Looking around the edge, he couldn’t find where the pond emptied.  Danny stayed there for moment, comparing what he was seeing to his memory of the map.  Once he felt confident in his orientation, he floated up and drifted across the pond.  Setting himself down on the other side, he double checked his intangibility was still activated and started walking again.  True to Alice’s word, the walk itself was easy, and Danny took the opportunity to look around at the woods.  He spotted a deer in the distance at one point, and what looked like owl nests in some of the branches. 

As he walked through a particularly dense area of bushes, he noticed some mist by a tree some distance away.  Danny squinted at it.  It was too warm in the day for there to be mist and, he looked around, it didn’t look like there was any water for it to come from either.  As he started to walk to it, Danny realized that he hadn’t heard any birds in a while.  Getting closer, he saw some wispy tendrils float out from the densest part of the mist.  He tilted his head.  Let some ectoplasm leak into his eyes.  The mist suddenly contracted and came together to form a vague squirrel shape.  Danny stopped.  Followed the smallest tendril down to the earth.  A squirrel, blood leaking out from a wound on its leg, was connected to it.  Danny looked back up.  The ghost followed the motion and looked at Danny.  Danny looked back.  Blinked.  And stepped forward, holding out a hand.  The squirrel ghost drifted forward and right before it made contact with Danny, turned to look back at its mortal body. 

Danny held his breath as he watched one of the ears tufts twitch.  The squirrel turned back around and jumped forward to touch Danny’s palm.  As it nestled into his hand, its soft, transparent body started to disperse again.  Danny reached for his core and pushed the ectoplasm circulating in his body to his hand.  His palm started glowing green before some ectoplasm coated his palm.  The squirrel started condensing again, pulsing as it made contact.  The ectoplasm flowed off Danny to mix in with the translucent body.  The ectoplasm swirled around like bubbles in soda before losing shape and being absorbed.  The squirrel’s ghost glowed bright and Danny looked away, closing his eyes. 

When he no longer saw the light through his eyelids, Danny cracked open one eye, and confirming the bright light was gone, fully opened both eyes.  What was once a misty looking squirrel ghost was now a small green blob.  As it rotated around, eyes came into view, and opening up, looked at Danny, letting out a small chirrup in greeting.  Danny smiled a little.  It was cute, if a bit sad knowing where this little blob came from.  Danny looked back at the corpse.  Then up to the blob.  The wispy tendril no longer connecting the two.  Danny let his hand drop and the blob stayed floating.  Floated closer to Danny’s face.  He could feel his eyes flash green.  The blob ghost let out another little chirp and flew around Danny head before settling down on his shoulder, nuzzling up into his chin.  Danny laughed at the ticklish sensation and then turned around to continue to the blackberry bushes.

As Danny got to the blackberries, he reached up a hand to the blob ghost.  Gently scooping it into his hand, Danny lifted it up and onto the top of one of the bushes.  Looking around and not seeing any animals, Danny focused on the bushes.  There were a lot of them, and it seemed like the bushes had plenty of berries.  Danny could make out at least 5 bushes growing into each other, and possibly more around some trees.  He knelt down and picked a blackberry, tossing it into his mouth.  As the berry burst open, juices sprayed Danny’s mouth, and he stifled a cough.  He ate it quickly and indulged in a quick cough.  Even though it was smaller than the ones they bought from the store, it was noticeably sweeter.  Danny smiled and swung his basket off his shoulder.  He started carefully plucking berries off, and every time he accidentally squished one, he popped it in his mouth instead of the basket.

At some point the little blob ghost woke up and started darting between the leaves of the berry bushes, occasionally trying to eat one.  Danny laughed at its antics, making a little ball of ectoplasm form, and tossed it for the blob to chase. 

By the time the sun started its afternoon descent, Danny had his basket filled and a happy blob ghost nestled on top of the berries.  Over the course of the afternoon, its green color had started disappearing and now it was more wisp than blob again.  Danny frowned briefly and started off to the farm.

As Danny got near to the edge of the woods, the little ghost had lost all its color and was now back to a translucent wisp.  Before he could give it more ecto, he heard a shout and ran out of the trees.  Aunt Alice had dropped a screwdriver on the ground and when she stood back up from grabbing it, she spotted Danny.  She waved, walking over to him.

“Hey Danny, how was –“ the little ghost darted out from behind Danny’s back, coming to face to face with Alicia.  She frowned.  “how was the trip?”

He pulled the basket forward, “good, there were plenty of blackberries.”

“Aaah good.  Any trouble finding them?”  She eyed the ghost out of the corner of her eye.

“Nope,” Danny paused, and taking a chance, said, “I found this little guy on the way though.”

“Oh?” Alice raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”  Danny rubbed the back of his neck.  “You can see it, right?”

Alice’s frown lightened.  “Yes.”  Sounding choked up, she cleared her throat.  “Yes, I can.  I didn’t realize -  well, nevermind.”  She looked at the ghost, nuzzling into Danny’s hair, mussing it up.  “I don’t know why it’s acting so friendly, but you best not encourage it.  The less attention you give it, the sooner it’ll pass on.”

Danny’s ears flushed red, “pass on?” he asked.

“Chiiiirup?” said the wispy ghost.

Alice leveled a glare at it.  “Absolutely not.”

Danny’s mouth fell open.  “Wait.  What?  Can you understand it?”

“Sure can.  Ever since I was little,” Alice answered.

“Does Mom know you can see them?  And understand them?”

Alice squinted at him, “Sure does, was the first person I told as a kid.  Real supportive of it all.”

Danny stood there for a moment.  “Mom knows?  And she didn’t have you help her with the – the ghost stuff?”

“Nope.  I was the reason she got into ghosts in the first place, but,” Alice shrugged.  “I didn’t want anything to do with them.  After I got back from the big city, I just wanted to live a quiet life and Maddie respected that.”

“Oh.”  Danny looked between the ghost now on his arm and Alice.  “Really?”

“Yep.”

The ghost floated between the two, circling Alice once before resting back on Danny.

“Well, looks like we should go deal with those blackberries.”

As Danny and Alice finished sorting the blackberries into different containers, Will walked up to them.  “Hey!  Oh, Danny’s back already?”

Alicia snorted at him, “Don’t act surprised.”

Will held up his hands, “Aaah you got me.  I saw you two meet up earlier.”  He quickly reached down to pop one in his mouth.

Alicia smacked his shoulder.  The ghost flew up and chittered angrily in his face.

Will smiled, showing off his berry splattered teeth, completely unrepentant.  Chuckling, he walked off.

Danny looked at the ghost, now flying over the piles of blackberries, and then up at Alice.  “Will didn’t react at all.”

Alice grunted, “Hmm.”

“Are we the only ones who can see this little guy?”

“Far as I can tell, kid.”

“Oh.”  Danny looked off into the tree line.  “Aunt Alice, what did you mean when you said it’d pass on?” 

“Well, exactly what I said.  Little bugger died, and whatever was left will pass on to whatever’s next.  Why?  What’d you think I meant?”

Danny shrugged.  “I guess I’m just not used to ghosts passing on?  Most of the ones I meet stick around and cause trouble.”

“Ah.  Madds has mentioned something like that.  Have they caused you any trouble?” Alice probed.

Danny grimaced.  “I guess you could say that.  A lot of ghosts cause trouble around the high school.”

Alice nodded, “I can see how that’d be distracting.”  Alice watched a bee buzz around the table.  The wispy ghost chased after it.

“Yeah, most of them like to cause problems on purpose, but sometimes there’s the little blobs that hang around and they’re kind of cute, like a stray cat.  They do make it hard to concentrate if it’s dark though.”

“What do ya mean?”

Danny looked back at his aunt.  “Cause, they, you know, glow green?”

“Green?  Huh.  None of the ghosts round here glow green.  I guess Will did mention something similar.  And I remember Maddie showing me a vial of glowing green stuff once.  Made me feel kind of sick.”

“Oh, that vial was probably ectoplasm,” Danny said.

“Ec-toe-plasm?” Alice sounded out.

“Yeah,” Danny said.  “It’s the glowing green stuff that ghosts are made up of.”

“Really?” Alice sounded unimpressed.

“Hmmhmm,” Danny hummed.  “You can kind of see their insides if they get hit with an ectoblast.  It’s all gooey looking, like a really thick liquid.  Their bodies kind of flow back in to fill the hole.”

Alice shook her head.  “I don’t know about all that.  All the ghosts I’ve seen are just misty lookin’ and real hard to see if the sun shines through them.  Well, that’s only if I catch them.  As I said, they don’t usually stick around too long.”

“Interesting.”

Alice shrugged, “I suppose.  Madds had a theory that ghosts only form when the living aren’t prepared to die or something.”  She laughed.  “Not that I think most things around here have unfinished business.  Everyone has a time and place, you know?  A rabbit lives its life knowing it’ll be eaten and all that.”

“I guess.”  Danny thought for a moment.  “I think a lot of the ghosts I know didn’t even think death was a possibility.”

The little ghost zipped under the table and around their feet.

“Perhaps.”

In the time it took for Alice and Danny to finish with the blackberries and prepare dinner, the ghost kept fading bit by bit.  Once Danny rang the dinner bell, the little ghost was completely gone.  Danny tried not to miss it, knowing it was better that the little guy passed on, rather than hang around the ecto deprived area.

____

After dishes, Alice sat Danny down.  “How you doing kid?”

“Fine?” Danny said, voice lilting up like a question.

“You sure?  You looked rather, uh, sad about that little ghost disappearing on us.”

Danny shrugged, “hmm, I guess I’m not used to it.”

“It?”

“Yeah, I’m not used to things just…. Ending.  I guess.”

“Oh, is that it?”

Danny looked off to the setting sun.

“You know, I can sympathize.  Used to be a time when I thought that I could fix anything.”

Danny looked back at her.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know I’m divorced right?”

“Sure, Mom visited you on the anniversary for that party last year.”

“Right, well I know it was a big celebration, but when it first happened, I was lost.  I mean, I knew that it was coming.  He didn’t like the farm, fell in love with someone who wanted the city life with him.  A real yuppie.  And yet, when I sat in the lawyer’s office, papers in front of me, there was this emptiness that seemed to take me over.  We both wanted our relationship to end, happy for it even, but, that didn’t make it easier to deal with.  Waking up and knowing that there wasn’t going to be someone by my side?  That there was no fixing it, no going back?  It’s hard to accept that some things just can’t be changed.  Don’t like talking about that even now.”

Danny’s mind flashed briefly to Dan.  His shoulders raised.  “I guess.  How did you deal with it?”

Alice hummed.  “The divorce?  Time, I suppose.  I had the support of the community here.  With death?”  She shrugged.  “I grew up.  At some point you just realize that some things have to happen and you can’t change it, so you have to accept it.”

Danny huffed out air.  “Yeah, alright.”  The variation of the age old excuse of “when you’re older” rang hollow in him.

A hand landed on his shoulder.  He turned back to his aunt.  “Danny.  I mean it.  Some things just need the perspective that time brings.  I’m still not sure my sister has quite grasped that.”  She smiled.  “No fault to her; understanding comes in its’ own time.  Worrying about it won’t help.”

Danny watched the last of the light chase the sun down with his aunt beside him, before standing and heading to his cabin to think.

An hour later, he stood up from his bed and walked down to his aunt’s cabin.  By now, the air was cool against his skin.  The cicadas were out, filling the air with a loud buzz.  Danny stopped halfway down the path, trying to collect himself.  As he stared up at the trees, his eyes burned.  Rubbing them harshly, he breathed in, the smell of dirt and the green leaves settling into his lungs.  He stayed there for a moment, collecting the resolve that started to slip away.  He let out some ectoplasm around his feet to light up his path and continued.  Exiting the trees, Alice’s cabin was lit up, warm light enveloping it like an aura.   Cozy.  Welcoming.  Danny dispelled the ectoplasm around his feet as he walked towards the cabin, each step feeling heavier than the last.  His shoulders curled forward until he stopped at the stairs up to the porch.  He heard Alice set something down inside and a creak of a door, then a click as the front doorknob rotated open.  Danny stayed at the bottom of the stairs, feeling frozen, as the door hinges creaked.  Alice’s red hair came into view first, quickly followed by the rest of her.  Catching sight of something, she raised her head to look at Danny.

“Danny, that you down there?  Everything alright?” voice soft as she stared down at him.

Danny’s body moved, skipping steps as he rushed up to Alice.  Her body swayed backward as he barreled into her, and she wrapped her arms around him to steady them both.

“I died,” Danny said, voice muffled in her shirt.

Alice didn’t say anything for a moment, squeezing Danny close.  His body shook as he cried into her shirt.  After Danny’s shaking petered out, Alice stepped backwards, hand on Danny’s back to nudge him inside.

“Take a seat on the couch, Danny.  You want tea? Hot chocolate?”

Sniffling, he wiped a hand against his nose.  “Hot chocolate please.”  He went to sit on the couch, grief and emptiness gnawing at his insides in equal measure.

The sound of boiling water soon filled the space.  A clink of a mug.  Powder being measured.  The fridge door opening and closing.  Alice walked over to the sofa, two mugs in hand.  Danny unstacked two cup coasters from the pile in the middle of the coffee table, placing them down for Alice.

Danny picked up his hot chocolate and took a sip, holding the warm mug in his hands.  Alice said, “Now, what was that about?”

The silence stretched between them as Danny stared at the wall, quiet.  By the time Alice had finished most of her cup of tea, Danny finally opened his mouth.

“When I was fourteen, I died.”  Silence followed Danny’s statement, Alice’s torso turned towards Danny, but nothing else to indicate she was listening.

Danny let out a shaky breath.  “I didn’t, come back.  All the way.”

Alice took another sip of tea.

Danny set his mug down.  Folded his hands together and set them on his legs.  “I know what it sounds like, but I’m not crazy.  I’m alive, but I’m also, somehow, a ghost?  Not like the one we saw today, but the kind I talked about, the glowing ones.  I think I turned the portal on when I went inside to look.  Not that I remember a lot of that, except for the pain,” Danny laughed, the sound hollow.  “I mean, it wasn’t working before, and after that, it was that glowing green.  It’s kind of pretty, actually?  Or maybe that’s just what I think.  It swirls around, the ectoplasm, like a really slow whirlpool, but it’s vertical like a door, not horizontal like a pool.  It makes it really easy for Mom and Dad to get more ectoplasm samples.  Actually, I gave the ghost today ectoplasm and it kind of turned into what I call a blob ghost?  By the time we made it back to the farm it was back to that wispy appearance, so, I mean, that was different.  But it was interesting, made me think of the blob ghosts back home.  You know, the ones that don’t pass on?  That’s the kind that I’m like.  A ghost.  I mean, I’m alive too, but I’m also a ghost.  I don’t know if that means I’m still dead or not?  I don’t think anyone really knows, but it’s kind of cool because I’m like the town superhe-“

“Danny,” Alice cut in.  Danny stopped.

Alice took a breath.  “Danny, do your parents know?”

Danny’s eyes widened.  He shook his head.

“Are you going to tell them?”

Danny tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth, throat tightening as he thought about the answer.  He settled for a small shrug.

“Alright.  Well, I can’t say this isn’t a surprise, but I won’t make you tell your mom or nothing.  Thank you for telling me.”

Danny stared at his mug, still half full.  He picked it back up.  As quiet settled around them, he felt his heart speed up.  Alice set her mug down, now empty.

“But, I don’t think,” Alice started, slow, “that it matters too much.  From what I’ve gathered, dead, alive, or something else, you’re still you.  The caring and hardworking young man that Maddie described is the same one that arrived on my farm.  Sure, you’re not perfect, and the implications of it all is damn worrying, not knowing, but that’s life.”  Alice swung her knee up onto the couch to fully turn her body to face Danny, arm braced along the backrest.  “For what it’s worth, people love you because of who you are, not what you are.  That includes your mom and dad.  Heaven knows when Maddie decides to love someone, she does it with her whole heart, no matter the circumstances.”  She tacked on a lighthearted, “and that includes your fool of a father”.

Danny laughed, rubbing his eyes of residual tears.  “Thanks, Aunt Alice.  I’ll keep that in mind.”

Danny finished off his hot chocolate, bidding his aunt a goodbye, and walking back up to his cabin, feeling lighter than he had in a while.

______

During that week, Danny started helping out even more on the farm, volunteering to lend an extra hand when needed or after his own tasks were finished.  He was getting comfortable with the flow of the days – spending mornings and evenings with the animals, afternoons in the fields, and helping out with various chores.  It was easy to fall into the rhythm and to trade playful quips with Will and Alice when they worked together.

Alice called Danny over one day.

“What’s up, Aunt Alice?”

“You know anything about machines?”

“Uuuh,” Danny’s eyebrows shot up, “I guess?  I’m familiar with my parents’ inventions.”

“Hmmm.  Why don’t you come over here then and tell me what you think.”

Danny peered his head into the propped open tractor hood, looking at the mechanics.  “It looks like the belt, here,” Danny pointed, “is wearing out.”

Alice appraised him.

Danny shifted his weight.  “Uh, was that it?” he asked nervously, feeling like he was taking a surprise pop quiz.

“Yea.  Yea, it was kid.  You familiar with engines?”

Danny made a face, “Sure?  I’ll help my dad out sometimes when there’s a problem with the GAV.”

“The GAV?”

“Oh, it’s our family car.  Or van, RV, thing?  My parents souped it up, so a lot of service shops won’t even look at it.  My dad keeps up with most of the maintenance on it and makes me help out.”

Alice nodded, “Ok, makes sense I suppose.  Well, if you’ve got a familiarity with it all, why don’t you help me replace it.  I’ve got a spare belt down in my cabin.  I’ll go grab it and you can get the tools we need.  Just look in the toolboxes around here, find the one we need for the tractor.”

Danny nodded in agreement and Alice walked off to get the part.

Later that night at dinner, Alice remarked to Will that it might be time to let Danny drive the tractor.

“Sure thing boss!  Who’s gonna teach him?”

“I will.  I’ll start him off with parking it in the barn, so tomorrow just leave it out when you’re done and I’ll walk him through it.”

Will nodded and continued eating.

“I’m what?” Danny asked.

Alice raised an eyebrow.

Danny swallowed his bite of food.  “Can I even do that?  I don’t have a learner’s permit or anything.”

From beside him, Will answered, “Don’t need one.  Most kids ‘round here start driving tractors much younger than you are.  It’s not like you’re going to be driving down the road or anything in it.”

“Oh.  You don’t need a license for it?”

“No sirree, and it ain’t that hard to do either.”

Alice piped up, “You good with that?”

“Oh.  Yeah. I guess, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

The rest of the night and next day passed calmly.  Then came Danny’s first lesson.

“When you go to park it, don’t forget to let it out of gear and apply the parking brake.  That’s about it.  So, you good to go?”

“I think so, Aunt Alice.”

“Alright, well don’t forget your ear protection, and I’ll let you get to it.”

Alice swung the door closed and stepped back from the tractor.

Danny put on the headset, and did one last review of everything, before he turned the tractor on.  Looking behind him, clocking Alice still off to the side, he carefully backed up the tractor.  Slowed down and came to a stop.  Danny turned forward again and started moving the tractor forward.  Taking a circle around, he pulled up to the storage barn and eased the tractor in.  Applying the brake and turning it off, he took off his ear protection and stepped out.

“Not bad kid, not bad.  Now help me look everything over before we head back for dinner.”

Alice walked Danny through the daily checks and maintenance on the tractor, then showed him where they kept their log.

“What it comes down to, is if you notice a problem, either stop and fix it right away, or come get me or Will if you can’t figure it out.  I’d rather you waste an hour doing that, then pushing through it and messing up the tractor on us.”

The bell rang out, clear and bright.  Alice glanced out of the barn doors.  “Well, guess it’s quitting time for ya.  Let’s get this put back and get our asses down there.”  Alice handed the binder back to Danny, who placed it back on the small table and hurried to close the doors and catch up with Alice.

Another week passed, with Danny learning how to operate the tractor, hitching up different attachments, and getting used to the daily checks. 

“I think it’s time to start harvesting the far wheat fields tomorrow.”

“Already?” Will asked.

“Yeah, it’s ready to go.”

“Huh.  Alright, if you say so boss.”

“Will I be helping with that?” Danny asked.

Alicia nodded, “you’ll be here through this first harvest, then you’ll head back to Amity after that.”

“Oh.”  Danny forgot he’d be heading back soon.  “Right.”

“So soon?” Will asked.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.  Madds reminded me that their school year starts earlier in the season.”  Alice shook her head, “seems ridiculous, but there’s nothing to be done for it.  The cities run on their own timeline.”

“Wait, then when do schools around here start?  And where’s the school?  I don’t remember seeing one when you showed me around town,” Danny asked.

“Oh, about a month later than yours I reckon.  The school isn’t on the main roads.  It’s back on one of the side roads, so the farm kids can get to it easier.”

“Used to be in the town,” Will added.  “When most of the town families moved out, the farm kids got together and convinced the adults to move it closer to them, oh, I reckon ‘bout 20 years ago?”

“Closer to 25 I think,” Alice corrected.  “I remember the big commotion when I visited from college.  Maddie, I think, organized it all.”

“Sounds like Maddie,” Will agreed.

“Mom did that?” Danny asked.

“Sure enough.  Everyone knows she’s a force of nature when she puts her mind to something.  She argued with near everyone about it.”

“Don’t know why she fought so hard for it,” Will added.  “Had to have been her senior year, didn’t even make a difference for her, considering the changes took place after she headed off to college.”

“Huh.”

“She never mentioned it to you?”

“No, not really.  But it explains where Jazz got her single-mindedness from.  She turned our annual Spirit Rally into a whole week at Casper High during her freshman year.”  Danny grimaced, “My freshman year, I got put in a diaper and thrown on stage for it.”

Will laughed and Danny scowled at him.  “Sorry, but just a diaper?”

“Are you kidding?” Alice was flabbergasted.

“Wish I was, it wasn’t funny.”

“Sorry, but you have to admit, that’s just a little funny,” Will chuckled.

“It really wasn’t.  Also, our counselor tried murdering Jazz.”

Will stopped laughing.  “What.”

“Yeah, she ended up getting, uh, jail, for it.”

Alice narrowed her eyes, “Really?”

“Yep,” Danny said, “last year wasn’t so bad though.  Hardly anyone called me a baby the whole week.”

“Damn.”

“What the hell is happening in those cities.”

The sudden somber shift made the conversation die down and dinner was finished quickly after.

The next morning, the bell rang out clear and sharp.  Danny blinked his eyes open, noticing it was still dark out.  Stumbling out of his cabin, he turned to Will, who was passing by.  “Why’re we up so early?” Danny yawned, pulling on a long sleeved shirt.

Will returned his yawn, jaw cracking in the early morning air.  “Oh, we do most of our harvesting in the morning or evening.  Means real early mornings the next few days.  S’not so bad, once you get used to it.”

“Mmm.” Danny responded, following Will downhill.

“Hey Alice.  You got the coffee brewing?”

“Hey, boys.  Sure do.  Another couple minutes or so, then we can get started.”

After getting their coffee in thermoses, the group headed up to the fields.  Danny was put on tractor duty.  Alice took over the truck with a wagon attached and Will was in charge of the forage harvester.  With the exception of taking care of the animals, Danny and Alice traded back and forth on filling up their collection wagons and running them to the silo.

Soon enough, the harvest passed and it was time for Danny to return to Amity Park.

“Yep, got it sis.”  A pause.  “Uh huh.” 

“No, no need, I’ll take him myself.”

“Of course I do.”

“No, it’ll be fine.  A short trip up.”

“Will can do what needs to be done.”

“Yes I’m sure.”

“Uh huh.  See ya then.”

“Take care Maddie.”  Alicia put down the phone and turned to Danny, seemingly unsurprised to see him leaning against the wall.  “Well, I’ll be driving you back up to Amity in a few days.”

Danny nodded, not looking particularly taken back, despite the fact that his aunt hadn’t gone up to Amity in the past 10 years or so.

The corners of Alice’s mouth turned up, “alright then, make sure you’re ready.  It’ll take a couple days, since you can’t help with driving, but it should be a nice enough trip.”

“Anything to do before then?”

“Nope, the only thing left to do is to check on the truck.  As much of a help as you’ve been with the tractor, I’ll be doing that.  You just make sure you help out Will with any odd jobs before then.”  Alice scratched the back of her neck.  “Uuh, ya excited to be heading back?”

Danny shrugged his shoulders.  “I guess.”  He looked out the kitchen window, “I’ll miss being here though.  I know I caused some trouble when I first got here, but it grew on me.”  Danny smiled softly.

“It has a way of doing that,” Alice agreed.  “Well, let’s get back to work then.  It doesn’t stop for rain nor shine.”

Danny finished loading up his bags in the short backseat and closed the back door.  Hauling himself into the front passenger seat, he closed the front door.

“Got everything squared away?”

“Yep.  Double checked and everything.”  Turning to grin at her, “but if I forgot anything, that just means I’ll have to come back.”

Alice laughed and shifted the gear to start the truck rumbling down the path.  Soon enough, bouncing along the road, a dust cloud behind them, the farm was swallowed up by trees. 

The journey itself was uneventful.  The mountains turning to valleys turning to farms turning to small cities and large ones, a one night stop at a motel, then back on the road, and finally Danny recognized the outskirts of Elmerton in the distance.  He could feel the rumbling of something in his stomach, and it solidified into a nervous ball when they crossed the town limits. 

Elmerton had enough tall buildings that Danny couldn’t see over into Amity Park, but he could feel the flow of ambient ectoplasm moving about like chem trails, signifying the presence of a visiting ghost.  Next to him, Alice clutched the steering wheel hard enough to turn her knuckles white.  Coming to a red light, she glanced over at Danny and noticed his pinched eyebrows, eyes on her hands.  She sighed softly, relaxing her hands and hitting the accelerator when the light turned.  The sun filtered through the buildings, casting long lines of shadow that waved over the truck passing through.  Danny turned to look out the window, head in hand, braced against the door.  It was quiet, no ghostly interference on this side of town.  Nevertheless, he could feel the ectoplasm that floated in Amity’s air reach out tendrils in Danny’s direction.  Welcoming him home, beckoning him closer, wanting to wrap him up in its embrace.  He shuddered.  After getting used to a non-ecto infused environment, the not quite alive reaction of the ectoplasm felt like a slimy slick hand on his shoulder, slipping off before trying to embrace him again.  He didn’t notice Alice next to him, her breathing becoming shallow and quick.

As the truck crossed over the interstate separating the two cities, Danny shuddered, feeling the sharp contrast of a decidedly unhaunted city to one that almost had more ghostly visitors than alive ones.  He could feel the boundary like he was pulled through a film, the ectoplasmic residue clinging to his skin on the other side, settling back into his nose and lungs, coating the back of his throat and cooling his hands.  It wasn’t enough that someone like Valerie – fully human - would notice, but being so attuned to the presence of ectoplasm as a being shaped by it, Danny could feel it like a physical weight, bearing down heavier on him the closer they sped to FentonWorks.  Alice’s hands lightly shook as she clasped the stick to shift down.

Pulling up to the side of FentonWorks, Alice stopped the car.  They both sat there for a moment, breathing in the quiet of the street, before a far-off blaster shot echoed in the distance.  Danny turned to Alice, a wobbly smile on his face, “home sweet home,” he said, punctuating it with a little laugh. 

Alice looked past him to the door, then back to Danny.  “I suppose so,” mouth set in a thin line.

Danny turned away, not wanting to parse what Alicia was feeling, and unclicked his seat belt.  He opened the door to slide out of the truck.  Alice followed him out and walked around to knock on the front door.  As her first rap against the door ended, weapons sprung out of the sides of the walls, focused down on her.  Alice jumped back a little as a light popped out of the door, scanning Alice from head to toe.  “Freaky,” she muttered darkly as something dinged and the door clicked open, the differential air pressure opening it further.  Alice turned back around to Danny, “What was that?”

Danny shrugged, “It seems Mom and Dad added some things while I was away.”

Alice gaped at Danny.  “Added some things?  What was it like before?”

Popping open the back door to grab his bags Danny said over his shoulder, “Oh, the weapons have been there since the first house defense upgrade, but the unlocking is new.”

Alice looked back to the door.  “That’s the new part?”  She hesitantly reached a hand out and tapped the door hard enough to swing it open the rest of the way.  She leaned forward a little.  “Uuuh,” she started, peering in.  Clearing her throat, she spoke up, “Anyone home?  I’ve got your boy back Maddie!”

Danny walked up beside her.  “I wouldn’t wait for an answer Aunt Alice.  It’s best to just walk in and take a seat.”  Danny did so himself, setting his bags next to the stairs and walking back to the truck.  Alice walked in, tentatively lowering herself down to the couch, and looked around wide eyed.

“Just what in the world has my sister been up to?” she said mostly to herself.

The slamming of a door and a loud beep sounded out as the truck was closed and locked.  Danny walked in with Alice’s bag and closed the door behind him.  “Seen anyone yet?”  he asked.

Alice swung her head around to stare at Danny, “No, not yet.”  She gestured around at the living room, a myriad of objects on the table, hung on the wall, or thrown onto a shelf.  “Danny, what is all this?”

Danny barely glanced down before making his way to the kitchen, “probably broken ghost inventions.  I wouldn’t touch any of them though, they can be a bit, well, temperamental.”

The sound of a cabinet door squeaking open, running water, and Danny came back with a water glass for himself and Alice.  “Here ya go,” he said, holding one of them out.

Alice absently took the glass and sipped from it.  Choking and spluttering, she set the glass down on the coffee table, slapping a hand against her leg.  She collected herself, wheezing, and looked up as green light tinted her peripheral vision.

“Oh Alice!  And Danny!!  I didn’t hear you two come in,” Maddie said after exiting the downstairs lab.  She quickly went over and swept Danny up into a big hug.  “Oh, I missed my sweet little baby boy.”  Giving Danny one last squeeze, she stepped over to Alice to do the same.

A clang could be heard, echoing up the lab stairs and then some thumps as Jack made his way up.  Danny set his glass down in anticipation.  No sooner did Jack realize Danny was home than he rushed over, knocking over a chair in the process, scooping Danny up into a bone crushing hug.  “DANNY BOY!” was shouted right into his ear.

Danny did his best to move his wrists enough to pat his dad back.  “Hey Dad.  Just got back.”  He paused and with no indication that Jack was going to let go anytime soon, “Can you let me go now?  It’s hard to breathe.”

Jack, embarrassed, let him go, giving him a firm pat on the back, “Sorry about that, I was just so excited to see you back home!  JAAAAAZZIE-PANTS!”  He called out.

Alice clasped a hand to her ear, scowling as Maddie looked on fondly.  “Oh honey, no need to yell like that.”  She turned to face her sister.  “It’s so good to see you here Alice.  I don’t remember the last time you visited and things have changed so much since then.  Jazz was just toddling around and we still had the play pen set up for Danny.”  Taking a seat, she pulled on Alice’s sleeve, inviting her to sit next to her.  “I missed you,” Maddie said.

Alice coughed and looked around the room, “I missed you too Maddie.  If you ever want to visit the farm more often, you could.”

Maddie laughed and waved her hand around, “Oh our work keeps us so busy nowadays.  Speaking of, I hope you didn’t run into any ghosts on your drive in?” Eyes twinkling, Maddie waited for the answer.

Alice frowned at her, “No, we didn’t,” and watched as her eyes dimmed a little.

“Aah well, that’s alright, I’m glad you two made the trip up here safely.  Speaking of, I was thinking we could all head out for dinner tonight?  I know it’s not often you’re in the city, so it might be nice.”

Jack leaned down to Danny and whispered conspiratorially, “We had an ecto sample explode in the fridge.  All the food is completely inedible, but wouldn’t you know it?  The old chicken and hot dogs started a little kingdom in there.  Fascinating stuff Danny.  Really.”  He looked over at him, “Would you like to meet them?”

Danny grimaced more than smiled, “Uuuh no thanks Dad.  I think I want to get started unpacking instead.”

Slapping a hand to his forehead, “That’s right!  I won’t keep you Danny.  Go take your bags up to your room, we’ll visit with your aunt down here.”

A boom echoed through the neighborhood and Maddie jumped, starting to reach a hand for her blaster before relaxing, continuing the conversation she was having with Alice.  Danny stopped briefly to grab his bags and headed up the stairs towards his room.  As he reached the top, Jazz’s door clicked open and she stepped out. 

“Danny!  You’re back!” she said.  Stepping forward, she wrapped Danny up in a hug, chin poking into his head as she said, “I missed you little brother.”

Danny awkwardly stood there holding his bags, “Missed you too Jazz.”  He swayed a bag a little to knock into her leg.

“Oh!” she said, releasing him, “Sorry, I’ll let you get to your room.”  Smiling at Danny for a moment, Jazz started down the stairs. 

As Danny kicked his door open, he heard Jazz greet their aunt.  Dropping his bags down in front of his dresser, he jumped up onto his bed.  “Uuuuuuuugh,” the groan rumbling throughout his chest.  He breathed out, then rolled over onto his back, arms flung out and over the sides of his bed.  Danny stared up at the glow in the dark stars, stuck on his ceiling years ago.  He had barely been gone for a couple months, but already his room felt slightly foreign - like returning somewhere he didn’t fit into anymore.  It was like an old sweater you found again after a few years.  Slipping it on and knowing every seam, texture, and fold as it settles around you, but no longer the same comforting weight – a little too thin, worn at the elbows and a hem starting to unstitch itself.  Not as soft as you wanted to remember.  Exactly the same, but time having polished away the fondness that once endeared it to you.

Danny rolled over onto his side, staring into his closet.  The sliding door left cracked open from when Danny slammed it shut, the recoil pushing it back open before he left.  He heard the cadence of a conversation float up the stairs and he closed his eyes.

Waking up to someone shaking his shoulder, he blinked awake.  His room had darkened with the setting of the sun and Danny felt groggy.  “MmMMMmm?” he hummed.

“Danny, we’re going to head out to the Nasty Burger for dinner.  You gonna get up and come with?”

Danny bolted up, smacking his head into Jazz’s hand still hovering above him.  “Up!  I’m up!” he said.

Jazz chuckled, “See you downstairs,” and left his room.

Danny braced himself on his arms, letting the thrum of his heart settle back down from the adrenaline rush.  After a moment he swung his legs down.  A quick detour to the second floor bathroom later and Danny joined everyone else downstairs. 

“Alright, now that we’ve got everyone here – to the GAV!” Jack announced.

Danny sleepily followed Jazz out to the garage and clambered into his seat.  Alice, who was following Danny, stopped at the open door.  Looking around the retrofitted RV, she hummed and side-eyed Jack who had turned the key in the GAV, prompting the consol to light up in a variety of buttons and gauges.  She stepped into the back and climbed into one of the open seats.  Maddie closed the door behind Alice and got herself into the passenger seat.  After clicking her seatbelt in and checking that the kids had as well, she pushed a button, the garage doors clanking open behind them.  Jack flipped on the headlights and backed out of the garage.

“Hold on,” Danny hissed up to Alice, who in turn, grabbed onto the hold bar at the top of the door. 

Once Jack cleared the sidewalk and safely backed onto the street, he stepped on the gas and catapulted the GAV down the street, careening around corners, and speeding through yellow lights till they swayed to a halt in the Nasty Burger parking spot.  Jazz sighed, Danny let out his breath, and Alice looked a little green.  “ Does your husband always drive like that Maddie?”

Maddie turned around, unclicking her seatbelt, “Like what, Alice?”

Alice eyed Jack nervously before looking back at her sister, “Uuuuh.  Nevermind Maddie.  Let’s go,” and she opened up the sliding door to shakily step out.

The Fentons and Alice went into the Nasty Burger, quickly ordering food and sitting down at a booth.  The chatter of the restaurant was pleasant, if a little overwhelming to Danny.  He decided to listen to his family’s conversation and looked out the window.  As Alice asked after Jazz’s college adventures, Danny saw a bright blast light up the sky.  He blinked and took a moment to process as a streak slithered through the air.  A ghost!  He turned around, nudged Jazz out of the booth, and slid out with a halfhearted excuse about the bathroom before making his exit.  Hiding behind the dumpster, Danny transformed and flew off after the ghost that he could still see winding around the tops of buildings.  The trusty Fenton thermos clattered against his leg as the wind whipped Danny’s hair into his face.  Coming up to a stop, he watched the ghost slow down over the park, then dive down.  Danny pushed himself into action, darting into the tree tops to see where it went.  He heard the whine of a blaster charge up below him and Danny looked down.  Tucker stood there, a small blaster leveled at the backside of the ghost.  Danny flew up towards the sky and starting arcing down the other side.  Before he could do much, Sam ran out from the other side of the trees shooting at the ghost.  A low hum joined the chorus of weapons and Danny turned invisible as the Red Huntress caught up to the ghost. 

Danny drifted up higher, watching the teamwork between the three of them.  They quickly captured the ghost.  He lazily drifted down to the trio.

“Huh, didn’t know you guys would team up,” Danny said, turning visible.

Tucker flinched and the girls rolled their eyes.

“Hey Danny,” Sam greeted.

Valerie retracted her helmet and stared at Phantom for a moment before, “Hi, Danny.”

Danny’s eyebrows flew up, pinched together.

Tucker laughed at his expression as it quickly morphed into a look of betrayal aimed at Sam and Tucker.

“Sorry Danny,” Sam looked away.  “Val kind of… figured it out?”

“Sam!” Danny hissed, voice crackling like steam.  “What does that mean?”  His eyes darted back to Valerie, who just stood there, looking conflicted.

“Exactly what I said Danny!”

Danny shifted so he could stand on the ground.  “But how?”  He was starting to get angry at the lack of answers.  It hadn’t even been two months and without being around Valerie somehow pieced together his biggest secret?

Tucker’s laughter died down.

“It’s – Danny please don’t be mad,” Valerie spoke up.  Her eyes darted around the clearing before landing back on Danny.  “When Phantom disappeared after Fenton left it wasn’t hard to figure out you two were connected somehow.  And then Dani stopped by in town and-“

“Dani came back?” Danny interrupted.  He glowered at Sam and Tucker, eyes glowing brighter for a moment.

“It wasn’t a big deal!” Tucker tried to defend.

“Yeah!” Sam chimed in.  “She was here for like, a day?  Maybe?  Hardly worth mentioning.  She spent most of it playing pranks on Vlad.”

“And Valerie met up with her?  But not me?”  Danny voice raised in pitch, “I missed seeing my cousin and you didn’t say a word?!?  I thought I wouldn’t have had to tell you two that Dani coming back would be something important to mention.”

Tucker’s shoulders crept up to his ears.

Sam rolled her eyes.  “Really, Danny, it is so not a big deal.  We didn’t even know for most of that day.  She only came to see us towards the end of her stop.”

Danny’s core felt a sting go through it.

“Did she know I was coming back?”

“Yeah dude, we mentioned you were sent to your aunt’s farm.  She asked about you!  Promise!  Once she realized that, she told us she’d try to stop by to see you.  Seemed really excited to check out a farm.”

“Although,” Sam chimed in, “I don’t think she realized you’d be back so soon?  If you never saw her, she probably got distracted by something on her way.”  Seeing Danny’s sad expression, Sam said, “I’m sure she’ll be back to visit you, Danny.  She did say she’d stop by at least a few times a year to check in, right?”

Danny sighed.  “Yeah.  I’m just bummed that I missed her.  And with no way to get into contact with her,” he trailed off.

“Actually,” Valerie started, “Uhm, I gave her a little, well, kind of like a cell phone?  It can make calls, but it’s also got a little button to send a distress signal to my suit if need be?  And seeing as it’s never gone off, Dani’s okay.  Ok, Danny?”

Danny looked down at the ground.  “Alright.  I guess that’s better.”  He looked preoccupied - lost in thought and still a little sullen.

Sam, Tucker, and Valerie exchanged glances with one another over Danny’s bowed head.

Valerie gave a little cough.  Seeing Danny head twitch at that, she said, “I saw Dani transform after one of her pranks.  I was stopping by Vlad’s office to see if I could find anything new.”  Valerie paused.  “She looks a lot like you Danny.  And once I saw that, and my suit recognized her like any other human, I approached her.  She explained a lot to me and after getting lunch, I brought her around to Sam and Tucker.”

Danny looked up at his best friends.  “Really?  Valerie had to bring Dani to you guys?”

Sam nodded and watched Danny’s expression lift at the confirmation.

“Anyway, Sam didn’t tell me anything, but Tucker told me about the whole,” she waved her hands around, “Cujo?  The ghost dog thing.”  She sighed.  “It wasn’t easy to sort through it all, but I realized that I was being really unfair to you Danny.  I’m sorry for not hearing you out about it earlier.”

Danny shifted his weight from one foot to the other.  “Oh, well.  That’s?  Ok?  I mean it’s not okay okay, but I understand.  Why you acted like you did.  Life dealt you a really bad hand with everything and you were dealing with a lot with your dad and his job and the A Listers and everything so – “ a hand settled on his shoulder.

“Danny,” Valerie cut in.  “You don’t to forgive me right away.  I’ve had a few weeks to deal with this.  I just wanted you to know that I know about your … situation and that we – Red Huntress and Phantom – are cool now.”  A bell tolled somewhere in the town.  Valerie looked up at the street lamps turning on.  “Anyway, I’ve got to get back, but it was nice to see you Danny.”  She gave him a little smile, activated her hoverboard and helmet, and flew off.

Watching Valerie fly off, all three of them stood still for a moment.

“Well,” Danny started, “I’ve got to get back.”

As he started moving to walk off, Sam grabbed his arm, “Are you mad at us?”

Danny turned around.  “No, Sam.  I’m not.  I just – I’ve had a long day and I want to go eat dinner.  Can we get talk about this tomorrow?”

“Promise?  I’ve got a new game I can bring over to play,” Tucker offered.

Danny smiled at them, “That sounds good.  I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Danny started walking backwards and turned invisible from one step to the next.  He flipped up into the air and flew off, back to the Nasty Burger.  He transformed in a stall, washed his hands, and walked out to the booth.  As everyone turned to look at him, Danny’s neck flushed red.  “Hi.”

“You doing alright Danny?” Jack asked.

“Uuuh yeah, just,” Danny paused, “had to take a dump?”  He slid into the booth, Jazz pushing over his tray of food.

“If you say so m’boy.” Jack shoved more fries into his mouth.

Jazz scolded her father for his manners and Maddie smiled fondly at her eldest.

Danny inhaled a third of his burger and as he took a sip of pop, looked over at his aunt.  Alice had a smile on her face, but it was stretched a little thin, eyes crinkling right underneath them, a fist on the table and body turned, supported by the window and booth back.  Danny went back to eating his burger.  Aunt Alice had looked like she was in pain that she was trying to hide ever since they entered Amity Park’s borders earlier.  He hoped she would be fine considering Maddie had wrangled her into staying for a couple days.  Danny ended up ordering another burger and Jazz decided to split a small shake with Maddie.  Once they had finished eating, they climbed back into the GAV and headed home.  Danny started feeling sleepy again, leaning his head on the cool window, watching the streetlights pass by.  Jazz looked over at her brother, noticing how relaxed he looked.  She missed him.

“You know Danny,” she started, “you look so much more relaxed than before.”

Danny glanced over at her.  “I’m not giving you the satisfaction of saying you were right.”

Jazz smiled softly as Danny’s head rolled back against the window.  “I wouldn’t expect anything else little brother,” she whispered.

___

Danny heard the clicks and whine of the Fenton door weapons activate and after a few seconds, the doorbell rang out.  He left his room, heading down the stairs to hear his mom invite Sam and Tucker in.

“Hey guys,” he called down the half flight of stairs.  He waited for them to start walking up before he turned around and led them to his room.

Pushing open his door, he dropped onto his chair.  Tucker grabbed a spot on his bed and Sam, after closing the door, took a spot at the foot of the bed.

“So,” Sam started.

“So,” Tucker added.

“Soooo,” Danny finished, “any thing else I should really know that you didn’t bother to update me on?”

Tucker winced at Danny’s tone.

“Nope,” Sam popped the p.  “Vlad’s still mayor,” she ticked up a finger.  “No new halfas that we know of, no new ghosts.”

“Oh!” Tucker interjected.  “Dash had a wipe out on a skateboard.”  He looked smug, “I caught it on video, wanna see?”

“Yes!” Danny cheered, leaning forward to watch.

Sam scoffed at them, but she also leaned in.

After catching up on all the little things Danny missed over the summer – a new girl moved in next to Tucker, Sam’s petitions and protests, teaming up with Valerie – Danny stood up and stretched.  His spine let out a loud crack and Tucker gaped at him.

“Geez, are you okay?  What were you even doing on that farm?”

“Yeah Danny, you sounded like my Bubeleh and she’s, like, 80.”

Danny laughed, sitting back down.  “Actually, I think that was because I’ve been sitting so much the past few days.  I was pretty active before that.”  He thought for a moment.  “I might be able to beat Dash in a race now.”

Tucker snorted, “I don’t know dude, he decided to start working on his legs this summer.  He’s no longer, like, a Dorito with sticks for legs.”

Sam definitely didn’t giggle as she said, “But sure, we’ll take your word for it, Danny.”

Danny rolled his eyes as he sat back in the chair.  “Alright, enough teasing me.”

“Yeah, let’s talk about Sam ditching our elective class to take environmental sciences.  Can you believe she disrupted our carefully crafted schedule that ensured we shared as many classes as possible just for?  What was it?  The earth?  Can you believe Same is ditching us like this?”

“Huh,” Danny said, he turned to Sam, “what’s that class even about.”

Sam glared over at Tucker before looking at Danny, “I’m glad someone here is taking an interest in the important things in life.”  Sam launched into an hour long explanation.  After the first five minutes, Tucker had pulled out his PDA to play a game, mouthing along to parts of Sam’s explanation from time to time.  Danny got the basic idea shortly after that.  He started to tune out, thinking about school.  How in 2 short weeks, he’d be back in the classroom, probably juggling ghost attacks, Dash, the other A Listers, homework, and sitting in a cramped chair for hours on end.  The sun coming through his window warmed Danny’s side.  He glanced outside at the street.  A bird flew across, but otherwise it was buildings, sidewalk, and asphalt as far as he could see.  No green at all.  He wondered if Undergrowth would make another appearance, and if Danny could convince him to –

“Danny, are you even listening to me?” Sam’s sharp voice called out.

Danny whipped his head away from the window, “Uh, yeah, Sam, I’m listening.  You were saying something about,” he searched his short term memory, “the climate?”

Sam huffed and crossed her arms, “So, as I was saying – “

“As she was saying,” Tucker interrupted.  “She’s shamelessly ditching us, Danny.  Can you believe it?” Tucker slid dramatically off the bed and grabbed Danny’s jeans, “and Sam doesn’t even care!” he cried.

“Tucker, you know that’s not it,” Sam reprimanded.  “Besides, didn’t you sign up for Advanced Algebra or Calculus or something?  You’re also ditching us.”

Turning around to face her, Tucker gasped.  “How. Dare. You.  It’s Finite/Brief Calculus and that’s only because they refused to put me in the computer class again this year.”

Danny laughed, “That’s because you hacked the school’s computers and played that banana song over the intercom for all of lunch.

“Because peanut butter jelly time is a classic,” Tucker grumbled.  He got up, sitting back on the bed.  “Anyway, you should have your schedule by now too.  Have you looked at it?”

Danny rubbed the back of his neck, “eh?  I think my parents handed it to me this morning, but I didn’t take a look.”

“Oh, well then what are you waiting for?  Let’s see it!  I want to see how many classes we share this year!”  Sam demanded.

Danny sat up in his chair and rolled over to his desk.  Grabbing the school letter, he opened it, gave the schedule a once over, and then surrendered it to his friends.  Sam grabbed the paper and her and Tucker leaned over it.

“It looks like we share PE again Danny,” Tucker held up his hand for a high five as he continued looking at the schedule.

“We all share chemistry this year, right before lunch,” Sam added.

“Oh nice.  And look – we end the day together in art too,” Tucker pointed with his other hand.  Sam and Tucker looked over at Danny.  “Dude?”

Danny stared past them, eyes not focusing on anything.  When Tucker waved his hand in front of his face, he jolted back to focus and gave a half hearted smile as he high fived Tuck.  “Yeah, that’s great.”

Sam narrowed her eyes at Danny, “that doesn’t sound very enthusiastic.  Are you not excited for this year Danny?”

A shrug was her answer.  “I don’t know.”

Tucker glanced over at Sam, “What do you mean?  When you finished summer school, you seemed pretty thrilled to finalize your schedule request and send it in.”

Danny looked out the window, “Yeah, I know.  And I was.”

“Was?” Sam echoed.

“Well, this summer on the farm was a lot different.  I liked it, being outside and stuff.  Working on things, knowing that I was making a difference for people.”

“Danny,” Tucker started. “Do you not want to be in Amity anymore?”

Danny whipped his head to stare at Tucker, “Oh course I want to be here!  I missed you guys so much!  And I missed a lot of other stuff too!”

“Danny.”  Sam waited until he looked at her.  “You can have missed us, and not want be in Amity Park.”

Danny dropped his gaze to the carpet between their feet.  “Yeah, I know that.  I do want to be here.  I do!” 

He fell silent, struggling for a moment.

“I just – it’s so much, you know?  The ghosts, and Dash, and school, and my parents, and all of it.  It’s so much, all the time, without a break.  And I don’t feel like I have a choice in any of it either.  Obviously I can’t skip school and I can’t avoid Dash.  We live in the same town after all, and there’s only like, three places for teenagers to hang out.  And then the ghosts on top of that!  And the ghosts are here because of my parent’s portal, but I’m the one that turned it on – I can’t just ignore that the ghosts are causing problems even if I want to.  I don’t feel like I have a choice but to take responsibility and step in.  And I know you guys have been helping Val and stuff, but -”  Danny shrugged his shoulders. 

“I like being on the farm.  It’s quiet.  And even when there are ghosts,” he noticed their faces, “– and there are ghosts,” Danny confirmed, “they’re different!  They don’t cause trouble.  It’s like,” Danny waved his hand around, “everything’s so close to the cycle of living and dying and everything has it’s time from the plants to the animals and like – uuuuugh,” Danny threw his hands up.  “I don’t know how to explain it.  Death is always a part of living and everyone out there is used to it being a part of life, so when it happens it’s less of a tragedy?”  Danny looked away.  “I guess,” he scratched his arm and fell quiet. 

Sam and Tucker looked at Danny, waiting for him to clear up what he was trying to say.  The wind pushed against his window, a slight whistle from uneven weathering strips cutting through the quiet of the room.  Danny sighed and looked at the ground in front of his feet.  “I feel like less of a freak for dying and coming back when I’m out there.”

“Oh Danny!” Sam moved forward.

Tucker let out a quiet “Danny”.

Danny pushed away from them in his chair, rolling back some.  Rubbing his arms he said “I mean, I know I’m not a freak or anything, but it’s hard to forget that I died when I’m in Amity, you know?  I can’t escape reminders of it and that it makes me different from everyone else.  When I’m out there on the farm it’s just?  I feel at rest.”  He laughed, “that’s stupid isn’t it?”  He ran a hand through his hair. Looking up at them, “A ghost who feels at rest.  But DAMN!  I do, getting to be part of life and death like that makes me feel normal – I feel like I belong out there.”

“Danny,” Tucker glanced over at Sam before turning back, “Danny, do you want to stay there?”

“Tucker!” Sam admonished, “I don’t think –“

Danny laughed, “Yeah, I think I might want to….  Would you hate me if I left you guys again?”

Sam rushed forward to pull Danny into a hug.  “Oh Danny, I don’t think we could ever hate you.”

Tucker joined in, “Yeah, we’ll just have to visit you.”

Danny’s smile was smushed against both their shoulders.

“Do you think I could get internet out there?”

And all three of them laughed.

_________

“So, that’s what I want to do.  If I can,” Danny said.  He stared at the coffee table in front of him.  His parents sat on the couch across from him.

“Well, Danny, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do that.”

“But if that’s what you want, we’ll support you son!”

Danny looked up and gave him parents a smile, “Thanks.”

_______

It turned out Alice was familiar with the work programs that the local school utilized for their students.  It consisted of students taking the core classes, like math and science, in the mornings, and then working on the farm in the afternoons.

The trick was getting Casper High to agree.  But between Alice and Maddie, there was no trouble convincing Principal Ishiyama and Mr. Lancer that Danny would be better off in the modified program.  As long as he came back to take the state proficiency tests, he could even still earn credit for Casper High’s records without having to transfer them back and forth.

Within a few days, Alice, and now Danny, climbed back into the truck, ready to head back down to Arkansas.

“Bye!” Danny called, waving out of the window.

A chorus of bye’s and love you’s sent Danny off as they drove away.

Extra:

“Come on,” Danny laughed as he looked at his friends struggling up the side of the silo.

Tucker’s hand slid off a rung and he yelped.

Looking up at Danny, Sam asked, “are you sure this is safe Danny?”

Laughing again, Danny started climbing again, “Sure is.  Besides, I can always catch you guys before you hit the ground.”

“Wow, that’s sooo reassuring,” Sam grumbled.

Reaching the top of the dome, Danny disappeared from both their sights.  They heard some clangs before his head popped back over the edge, “come on!  Hurry!”  He grinned at Tucker’s frown as Sam reached him first.  Danny disappeared again as he gave Sam room to clamor up.  Soon enough, both their heads popped back over the side.  Twin grins met Tucker as he finished climbing up.  Hands thrust towards Tucker, he grabbed them and let himself be pulled up the rest of the way.

“Okay, we’re here.  What are we supposed to be doing?”  Tucker asked as they crawled their way to the middle of the silo.

Danny sat down, and pointing up said, “Look.”

“Oooh,” Sam breathed.

“Wow,” Tucker added.

The sky stretched up above them, shades of blue creating a fabric where streams of stars traveled across the expanse.  Blushes of red and green broke up the inky darkness and stars twinkled back and forth.  A light breeze caressed the trio and they laid back, enjoying the view.

[saveyourblood]

Pretty Boy - Ch 7 (Buddie x Reader)

Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6

Chapter Summary: You and Buck are officially a couple, but it isn't an easy start for either of you.

Word Count: 3k Warnings: none

It’s strange how effortless it is to go from being Buck’s best friend to his girlfriend. Maybe that’s because you’re still best friends, only now, you can make out with each other. Buck being on medical leave is kind of perfect timing, too, because none of your coworkers suspect anything. They aren’t surprised you spend most of your time at his loft. When they wonder how Buck is doing, they ask you; they know you know him best.

“Woah, hey, be careful!”

You and Buck are sitting around his table. Well, you’re sitting at the table, and he’s off to the side, sitting in one chair while another elevates his leg.

You look up at Buck and roll your eyes. “What, you’re gonna sew it back together?”

You’re holding a pair of his navy slacks and ripping apart the left pant leg.

“It doesn’t mean you had to rip them,” he chastises.

You lift up the pants, and you have to admit: it’s not your best work. It’s even, but the edges are frayed.

“Yep, looks terrible.”

“It’ll be fine!” you assure, setting them back down. “We’ll just tuck it in the top of your cast.”

You sit in an uncomfortable silence.

“Are we ever gonna talk about it?” Buck eventually asks.

You sigh. He had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon today, which wasn’t great. Granted, it could have been much worse. The fracture isn’t healing as expected, so he wants to perform another surgery. It wouldn’t be a minor surgery, either — he’d be replacing the rod and using bone grafts instead.

You lean back in your chair and cross your arms. “You already know what I think.”

You and the surgeon think Buck should wait a few more weeks before surgery. Buck, being Buck, disagrees.

“The sooner I have the surgery, the sooner I can get back to work.”

“We’re talking about your ability to walk, Buck,” you say slowly. “We’re talking about your health, your��life.”

“No, being a firefighter is my life!” Buck shouts. “It is the only thing I have ever done that was important and that mattered, okay? Without that, I-I don’t have…”

His eyes are red, and his voice is breaking.

“You will still be Buck, okay?” You say, kneeling in front of him. “We’ll all still love you. There are lots of other important things that you can do with your life.”

He stares at you, then looks away and clenches his jaw. “Do you know how hard it is to watch you walk out that door every day? Leaving me behind to just sit here and stare at a wall? Knowing you get to go do the one thing I want to, but can’t?”

You press your lips together. “Buck, I’m sorry, I never thought about it-”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” he interrupts. “I-I want you to keep working. I just want to be working with you.”

You move closer, setting a hand on his face and pressing your foreheads together. “I know. I know you do.”

He reaches up to hold your wrist. The two of you stay like that for what feels like hours.

“People assume we choose this life; I'm not so sure. Sometimes, I think this life chooses us.”

Everyone is gathered around foldout tables in the station loft. There are two rows: on one side sits the 118 staff, and on the other side is Eddie’s family. Bobby and Eddie stand in front of everyone.

“For those that answer the call, there can be no doubt, no equivocation,” Bobby continues. “It's not just the lives of those we serve that depend on us, but our own. The lives of our fellow firefighter and first responders. Today, we welcome a new brother into those ranks. After a year of hard work and dedication, I am proud to officially declare that your probationary period is at an end. Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Firefighter Diaz!”

The two men shake hands as everyone claps and cheers. Christopher stands up and approaches Eddie, offering him his helmet. Eddie picks Christopher up into a hug.

Something draws your eyes to Buck, who’s sitting next to you. He doesn’t see you looking, so you watch as he claps and smiles for his friend.

It’s crazy to think that Eddie’s only been in your lives for a year. In 365 days, he’s become the third closest person to you, right behind Buck and Hen. Something about him, in both a personal and professional sense, fits so perfectly into your life.

Everyone disperses to converse and get lunch from the catering table. Eddie makes his way around the small crowd. Eventually, he makes it to the table where you and Hen are sitting.

Hen pulls him into a sideways hug. “Congrats, Eddie. This is well earned.”

He thanks her and pulls her in a little tighter.

You rise out of your seat and pull him into a hug. You turn your lips to his ear in a whisper. “I’m proud of you.”

Eddie squeezes you tighter. This is the closest you’ve ever been to him. For a brief moment, the only thing between your bodies is a held breath.

You separate, but he keeps his hands on your arms. He chuckles and dips his head down.

“What?” You ask, lips curving into a confused smile.

“I’m just… I’m glad I met you.”

You smile warmly as you pat his arms. “Ditto.”

You hear some shouting and laughter. Across the loft, Buck and Chris are playing a game on the TV console. You see Christopher laugh and rest back on the couch while Buck leans forward, pointing at the screen. He gives Chris a gentle push, which makes him laugh harder.

“You two are a thing, aren’t you?”

You turn back to Eddie. You look him up and down. His hands are now buried in his front pockets, and his smile isn't as wide.

You could try faking it, but he’d call you on it in five seconds flat. “We’re that obvious, huh?”

Eddie shrugs a little. “To me, I guess.”

Your smile softens a little.

‘I’m not saying it can never happen.’ The sound of your own words keeps bouncing around your head. You essentially told this man that you could see sharing a life with him… if the timing wasn’t wrong. A strange sensation settles into your stomach. You wonder why it’s the right timing for Buck. You wonder how Eddie feels, knowing he has time to spend with you while also knowing his best friend’s time is just a few minutes sooner. You wonder if it’ll ever be Eddie’s time, and wondering this makes the feeling in your stomach more than a little bit worse.

“Well, you seem happy,” Eddie says, cutting into your thoughts. “I’m happy for you both.”

Part of you hopes he means it, and the other part sort of hopes he’s lying.

You and Buck spend the next few months growing closer. He has the second surgery, and you’re there to help him recover. For now, you’re not sharing work hours, but you’re sharing time. You’re telling your stories, and he’s telling his. Your relationship sews itself like a quilt, each day getting cozier and heavier. The extra warmth is worth the extra weight.

It’s still weird not working with him. Now that he’s going through re-certification, he at least has something to keep himself busy. Before that, he was always at his apartment when you got off work. You’ve been spending most of your free time at his place. You can’t remember the last time you spent the night at your own place; you just pop in occasionally to grab something.

You blink awake, rubbing at your eyes as you yawn. You slowly sit up, and the pleasant smell of fresh coffee greets you. You rub your eyes again, and when you open them, you see Buck standing at the top of the stairwell. He’s already dressed, and he’s holding a mug.

“Hey,” you smile. “You’re up early.”

Buck smiles back. He sits on the edge of the bed, handing you the mug. “I’m heading in now, wanna get a jump on things.”

“Today’s your final eval, right?” You ask as if you don’t already know the answer. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come?”

“Nah, watching me pretend to save lives isn’t as important as actually saving lives.”

“Well, you’ll be done with pretending by the end of today,” you remind. “You’re gonna do great.”

He grins. “You’re just a twelve today, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back around 8 tonight,” you confirm. “I’ll make dinner! We can celebrate.”

“Sounds perfect,” Buck smiles again.

You return the expression. God, you can’t remember the last time you were this happy.

He looks at his watch. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight, then.”

You nod and bite your lip to hold back a massive grin.

Buck springs to his feet. He kisses you on the forehead before trotting down the stairs. “Love ya!”

Before you can say anything, the front door opens and closes. He’s gone.

“It was just… weird,” you say, tapping your finger against the steering wheel. “I mean, we’ve implied it, but we’ve never said it, you know?”

You’re chatting with Hen in the rig. You’re on your way to a scene call, but it’ll be a few minutes before you arrive.

She figured out you and Buck were dating a few days after it started. Hen’s always been able to read you like a book, so you didn’t even try to deny it. Truthfully, it’s nice to have someone to talk to. The only other person on the team that knows is Eddie, and you’re friends, but not kind of friends. Talking to Eddie about Buck would feel like talking behind Buck’s back.

“So you said it back?” Hen asks.

“He was gone before I could.”

“Do you want to say it back?”

You sigh. “I mean, I kind of feel like I don’t even have to. He knows I love him. He has to know. …Right?”

Hen shrugs. “Just because he knows doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell him. He might need to hear it, even if he knows.”

You pull up to the scene, and it effectively ends the conversation. A car ran through a crowd of pedestrians using the crosswalk and T-boned another car. Once you’re out of the rig, Bobby assigns you and Hen to the most critical pedestrian while Chimney and Eddie check on the driver.

“Hey there,” you greet, grabbing a C-collar from your bag. “What’s your name?”

“Shannon,” the woman musters. Her lips are pale and her voice is raspy.

“Hi Shannon, my friend Hen and I are going to look you over, okay?" You say as you start an IV. "Where does it hurt?”

“Nowhere,” she answers. “That can’t be good, right?”

“You’re in shock; we won’t know the extent of your injuries until we get you to the hospital,” you assure. “Can you wiggle your toes for me?”

You look down at her feet. They aren’t moving.

You place your hands in hers. “Can you squeeze my hands?”

Her hands sit limply in yours.

“I’m not doing anything, am I?” Shannon asks. She shakes her head as much as the collar will allow. “That’s bad. My husband, he’s a paramedic. He’s said that people with severe spinal cord injuries either die or probably wish they were dead.”

“No one’s dying, you hear me, Shannon?” You say, squeezing her hand, even if she can’t feel it.

Shannon. Her husband is a paramedic.

“Eddie,” you whisper before whipping your head around.

He’s already barreling towards the three of you. You stand up, taking a few quick steps forward. You place a hand on his chest to stop him from moving closer.

“Eddie, let me handle this,” you say in a low voice.

“How bad is it?” he asks, staring at his wife. “Spinal injury?”

“Maybe worse.”

Eddie pushes past you and kneels beside Shannon.

“Vitals are trending downward,” Hen says as she pulls her stethoscope from her ears.

“We need to get her out of here, now!” You order, ushering in some paramedics and EMTs.

Eddie stands by and watches as you and some other first responders transfer her onto a backboard and gurney. He then follows you and Hen as you load her into the rig.

“I’m riding with her,” he says, leaving no room for argument.

You turn to him, pressing your lips together. “Eddie, it looks like a cervical spine injury. We’ll probably have to intubate her. If we do that, there’s a good chance it’ll never come out.”

Tears form in his eyes. His jaw sets. He nods slightly.

“You need to say goodbye,” you whisper.

You end up intubating her in the ambulance. When you’re hitting the ER, her heart stops, and you begin chest compressions. They code her for about half an hour before Eddie says enough is enough. They call her time of death. Eddie goes to fill out paperwork while you pace around the waiting room.

He comes out a little while later, holding a plastic bag full of Shannon’s belongings. You stop dead in your tracks and just stare at him.

You rub your hands up and down your thighs. “Eddie, I’m so-”

Eddie pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. You return it in full force.

You open the door to Buck’s apartment. He’s in the kitchen with his back facing you. A bottle of champagne sits in a bucket of ice on the island. You hear a sizzling sound and watch his arms move. You close the door a little louder than normal.

“Hey, you’re home!” Buck says after he turns around. He’s holding a skillet in one hand and a spatula in the other.

“Sorry I’m late,” you say, dropping your bag and jacket on the floor by the front door. “I thought I was supposed to cook.”

“Well, since you were running behind, I figured I’d get a jump on things,” Buck says.

You smile. Even though it doesn’t feel genuine, you hope it looks it. “So you passed, huh?”

“In record time,” Buck adds, returning to his cooking. “Cap should clear me in no time.”

You kick off your shoes and take a seat at the kitchen island. “I’m proud of you. …I love you.”

Buck stops what he’s doing. He turns to face you again, a puzzled look on his face.

“You said it this morning, on your way out,” you say. “I say it in a lot of different ways, but I realized I never told you directly. So… I love you. I need you to know that.”

Buck folds his hands together and leans on the island. “Did something happen at work?”

You smile sadly. “Yeah. Uh… you know Shannon?”

“Eddie’s wife?”

You nod. “She got hit by a car when she was walking in a crosswalk — C-spine injury. We had to tube her in the ambulance. She coded and died in the ER.”

Buck takes his hands in yours. “Are you okay?”

Tears start to form, but you quickly blink them away. They aren’t yours to shed. “I’m fine. I mean, I was just doing my job.”

“How’s Eddie?”

You clear your throat. “Um, about as well as can be expected, I guess? He kind of just… took off. I called him a few times, and he texted me back saying he’s at home with Christopher.”

“That poor kid,” Buck mutters.

“Yeah,” you say quietly, playing with his fingers. “Life is short, so… I just needed to know that you know.”

Buck smiles softly. “I know.”

He begins to cough.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

He steps away, waving a hand as if to tell you he’s fine. He cups the other as he coughs into it.

“I’m gonna get you a glass of water,” you say, already standing to go to the cupboard.

Buck puts his free hand on your shoulder, stopping you. When he pulls back his hand, it’s spattered with blood. Your eyes widen as you look up at him.

“Buck?” you ask, setting a hand on his waist.

He starts coughing again, but this time, a flood of dark red blood flows out of his mouth and down his chin. He stumbles backward.

“Evan?!” you shout, helping him to the floor.

“You got lucky. Most people who suffer a pulmonary embolism aren’t in the same room as a medical professional. It saved your life.”

You’re sitting beside Buck, who’s lying in an ICU bed for the second time this year. You keep his hand in yours, your thumb gently rubbing the back of his hand.

“What caused the blood clot?” you ask.

“Clots, plural. There's the one that hit his lungs, and then there's two more in his leg,” The doctor explains. “As to the cause? It's unclear.”

“Yeah, but he just got a clean bill of health last week,” you argue. “This came out of nowhere.”

“Did it?” The doctor counters. He looks at Buck. “No pain or tenderness in the leg? Any skin discoloration, swelling?”

“...I thought I just pulled a muscle or something.”

You run your free hand over your face.

“Okay, um, well, great. Look, I'm not dead. You found the clots. When can I get out of here?” Buck asks.

“We'll move you to a room and keep you on the anticoagulants. Tomorrow, we'll run some more tests. And then we'll see.”

You thank the doctor for his time, and he dismisses himself from the room. You stare at Buck.

“I wasn’t ignoring this,” he says slowly.

“When did the symptoms start?”

“...A day or two ago.”

You stand out of your chair. “Dammit, Buck.”

“I didn’t know what it was,” he argues. “I thought it was a leg cramp or something.”

You start pacing. “If this happened when you were alone, you could have died.”

“But I-I didn't, okay?” Buck says. “Can… can you just sit down again? Please?”

After a moment, you sigh but ultimately listen to him. You take his hand again, this time with both of yours.

“The last time you were in the hospital, I told you I was scared of losing you. I hope I don’t have to repeat myself,” you say quietly.

“You don’t,” Buck assures. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ch 8

[satcrvz]

CHAPTER SIXTEEN; TWO IDIOTS

navi

“move your bubble butt out the way,” yuuji instantly straightens his back and glares at you.

“yn, please im literally trying to make the house look presentable while you sit on your ass warming yuutas seat”. his comment earned a snicker from megumi, which yuuji made a mental note of.

nobara shuts the fridge and shouts from the kitchen, “you wouldn’t need to make it presentable if you hadn’t invited the whole population over”

you think yuuji may be your number one hater and supporter. clearly he’s trying to help you, but at the same time you feel non confrontational.

“speak your truth. yuuji and megumi are literally the reason the living rooms fucked up”

a few minutes after the four of you finish “cleaning,” if you could even call it that, maki, inumaki, and yuta show up. as they enter the apartment, inumaki glances around the place.

"so did you guys just decide not to clean or what?" this earned him a slide flying by his head, courtesy of yuuji. while almost everyone is engaged in their own banter now, you make your way over to yuta, praying that it's not going to be the awkward interaction that you have in your head.

you smile as you approach him, "did you bring the ice cream?" his eyes slightly widened as he brings his right hand up to scratch the back of his neck. "soooo," you laugh at his awkwardness, "i ended up buying it but my dumbass left it at the house"

"that's not a problem, we could go get it since your house isn't that far?" you suggested. "wouldnt we miss the movie?" his question is genuine.

"nah we have time. it’s not like they’d agree on a movie anyway." he shoots you a smile before grabbing the lanyard that hung out his sweats.

"guys, me and yn are going to get icecream, it won’t take long!" maki shoots him a look that tells him not to fuck it up. yuuji acknowledges yutas statement, "oh, can you get popcorn? there’s like one bag left and i know all of you aren’t willing to share"

"oh we actually weren’t—" you’re cut off by yuta, "we’ll get it, it’s fine!"

. . .

"why’d you agree? i was trying to save you the trouble." he cranks up the car, "it’s fine, besides, do you really wanna be there when they fight over a movie? shit gets ugly." "you’re right," you say in between laughs.

the ride to the store was no more than 10 minutes, most of it consisting of you flipping through songs, due to you not really knowing what he listens to.

after he parks, he raises both of his hands up and looks at you, "do not move." you smirk and raise an eyebrow at his actions, not really knowing what his plan was. that was until you saw him get out the car and go over to your side and open the door.

the smile was evident in your voice, "what are you, prince charming?" as you get out the car, he dramatically bows, "anything you want me to be your highness." this earned laughter from the both of you.

the two of you entered the store and right as the sliding doors opened yuta probably asked the dumbest question you've ever heard.

"we're supposed to be getting popcorn right?" truthfully, he was trying to make conversation after ignoring you for the past few days.

"jeez yuta, you drove us and you don't even know what you're here for?"

he gave you a grin, "i got us here safely, no? thats gotta count for something!"

as the two of you roam isles in search of popcorn, you find yourselves indulging in random conversations from embarrassing childhood stories to things your friends have done. it's effortless, the way you connect with each other, as if you've known each other for much longer than just a few weeks.

you spot the aisle that the item would be in, and reach over to grab his shirt to steer him into the aisle. his eyes widen at the gesture, clearly being caught off guard.

the two of you scan the shelves for a good brand with a reasonable price. you both decide on a box and head to the checkout.

"hey. you aren't slick, i saw you slide those kitkats"

you bring your finger to your chin, "hmm, i don't recall. maybe it's a ghost telling us we need to get them."

the both of you quickly got into the car and drove to his house to get the ice cream he bought. surprisingly it was a really quick stop, he told you to stay in the car and darted into, and back out the house.

by the time the two of you had got back, unsurprisingly, they were still fighting over a movie.

"yn, yuta, please settle this dumbass debate," nobara pleads.

yuuji obnoxiously says that it should be the conjuring, while maki counters and suggests spider-man, but more specifically andrew garfield’s.

"guys.. yuuji may be right for once. conjuring sounds good as fuck right now"

megumi brings his hand up to his hair, clearly stressed you picked opposite of him "dude just get back in the car you’re unwanted." nobara brings her hand to her mouth clearly trying to stifle a laugh, while inumaki has no shame and does it anyway.

"bitch? i hope your 'situationship' unadds you." this nearly made yuta start praise dancing. his thoughts ran wild of "i have a chance oh my gosh" "she just might fuck with me.." "never will i doubt maki again"

your voice brings him out of his chaotic thoughts, "yuta! pick one!" "oh uh, conjuring i guess? never seen it"

bad idea. he felt like he needed a life saving medical procedure, he’d nearly shit himself 3 different times. the only thing that made the movie slightly tolerable was you sitting on his left. yuujis sitting on the floor and whispers, if you could call it that, and asks for some of your popcorn. you respond in a hushed voice, "no! you should’ve thought about that before you put it on four minutes."

yuta must’ve not gotten the hint not to reach in the bowl, because he took a handful of popcorn from the bowl. "oh but you’ll give your little boyfriend some. fine!" he faces back toward the tv, only to be met with a handful of popcorn flying at his face from maki telling him to shut the fuck up.

the rest of the night went smoothly but somewhere in there you found yourself knocked out on yuta. during the credits, inumaki and yuuji were laughing at him for pretty much not moving a muscle.

you woke up to an almost abandoned couch, just maki sitting on the end. you quirked an eyebrow, "where’d the rest go?" "outside."

"i do have a question for you though," the little people in your head are panicking right now, "do you like yuta?"

you sheepishly smile, "uhm. . . yeah he’s a good friend i guess?" she gives you a look that a disappointed parent would give their kid, "you know what i mean."

"i guess? yeah. i probably started liking him when i streamed with him for the first time, he’s really sweet."

she hums in response, and right in time, nobara comes back through the door with toge, and yuuji, megumi, and yuta trailing behind her.

do we fw the chapter.. did not proofread this

guys if i missed your comment asking to be on the taglist pls send me an ask 😭 i literally lose comments all the time

tags: @saesofficialwife @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul @morgyyyyyyy @smashingdollz @bubbles-the-ghost @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon @h3xi2g0n3 @lysaray @sereniteav @httpakkeiji @histxricaldrama @aiieera @rieieieieieiei @tobaccosunbxrst @hvnyacoded @ohhyuuta @inupibaldspot @diogodxlot @amenial @kzoyu @ancientimes @mochuchi @cerisescherries @sugurubabe @saltypuffin1040 @lunarbleedings @kamikokii @egoistars @r0ckst4rjk @arysbruv @bbladie @hobistigma @k1ttylvr @deeeeexx @arivsx @kyrofu9 @kereseth @clxvrs @chososwh0r3 @alluresenses @sak1l @just-a-girlblogger @m6tra @nyxlai @ecliiipsee

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts on 270

Yes the end is near.

Yes I almost threw up when I saw that unmistakable hairstyle...

Yes I was a bit disappointed that there were no visible satosugu crumbs - or are there? More on this later... and the it overall just felt a little bit 😔 empty 😪

Nevertheless, I want to just blab about a few things.

First, is it Geto/Kenjaku?

If we think about how Yuta’s copy CT works, Rika would need to consume a viable part of the sorcerer. The only part of Kenny left was his whole brain. He was the brain. The rest is Geto. We have not seen any evidence of Yuta having CSM, so it can be assumed that Yuta did not have Rika eat any part of Geto. Otherwise, it’s be Geto’s CT and not Kenjaku’s body-hopping technique.

Imho: The person with Takaba is not likely to be either Kenny or Geto. Geto cannot function without a brain, there was none “spare” either, so the theory of a spirit entering the body is going to make it alive again - no, it doesn’t. There is no other living sorcerer who can do that - Ui Ui maxed it out with the number of times and there is no other person to swap with. Just. Not. Possible.

And Kenny was seen to have told Mimiko and Nanako that he took Geto’s brains out to inhabit it.

So. My conclusion is that Gege is baiting. Just as he did with the “we have to help Yuta!” And the rude yelling that got so many of us wondering just who would speak to roughly to Yuta and what warranted it. We were all asking: who calls Yuta “Yuta” and not “Okkutsu-senpai” etc. I even thought it was Shoko, assuming that Maki was in the same hallway as the others, but the main culprit was of course the most obvious, Maki herself.

And that baiting thing with the clock theory about 2:21 pm linking with chapter 221 of Gojo’s unsealing - I theorised it’s about having presence (like how spiritualists, and in Shinto, believe that spirit is all around us) despite being dead and his soul with Geto.

And goodness know what other theories there are out there about time and Gojo revival. I’ve said before that I don’t buy into it, but it is interesting.

So is it Geto? Kenjaku? I 80% think not but... yeah, I am worried. To be completely transparent, I’m so scared that it is.

Because I’m in the camp of: please please Gege, please please please let Gojo and Geto be at peace in their eternal afterlife until they’re ready to be reborn and let them find each other over and over and over again.

So rationally, I doubt it is. But I’m worried. I’m worried for reasons like: why aren’t the bodies and resting places of Gojo & Geto still not mentioned?

Next thing to I have some thoughts on are about Itafushi. They’re really good friends and I think it’s also just one of those things Gege is doing because it’s JUMP and he doesn’t want to just pretend the Hana -> Megumi thing is forgotten. It also shows some character growth.

So overall, I’m rather neutral about the Megumi + Hana thing. They’re still kids, and Yuji + Megumi are compatible but they’re also not quite Satosugu, so their relationship will be undeniably different. Friends or otherwise.

It’s nice to see the Megumi is taking initiative and finding novel ways to make new meaning & connections. I wouldn’t read too deeply into it, especially since Hana obviously read too deeply into it and got it all wrong.

I will say that it feels cliche maybe. Again it’s maybe a JUMP serialisation thing shonen mangakas do, since a big portion of the fanbase are young boys too. Gege can’t be doing too much for lgbtq+ too obviously after all.

So it leaves me feeling it is a little reminiscent of the Sasuke and Sakura pairing in Naruto - as if it could become something seemingly out of convenience/settling/making do, but what do I know? Sometimes relationships in life are like that. I’d rather marry my best friend, but you know... different strokes for different folks. As they say.

Now it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t find a way to make it about satosugu. I’m imagining collective groans from people who may be reading this... so please skip if you’re bored of me now, lol. Or read on if you like to be in satosugu delulu brainrot like me.

One of the satosugu-related takeaways from this recent chapter is that it seems to reduce the possibility of interpreting Gojo not allowing Shoko to process Geto’s body as being out of consideration for her.

Her saying that the idiot should have let her process Geto’s body pretty much says Gojo took matters into his own hands. Not only was it protocol… but she also personally thought it would be a privilege. But Gojo did not let her.

We ofc don’t know the details.

So it leaves us with: He did it for his own reasons, or reasons at least relating to Geto. Kenjaku thought it was out of consideration. And Kenjaku is not a reliable narrator, nor was Geto... who tended to think he didn’t matter.

You know, as a person who can quietly just swallow vomit and shit rags without complaint. As a person who could practically transform the filth, negativity, evil, and darkness of the world into power that he could use for good - he was vessel of sacrifice.

Anyway, I digress.

It seems to indicate that Gojo kept his body to himself ... for his own reasons, breaking protocol.

And referring back to 270 again, for Shoko to talk about the afterlife right after preparing the body -> cremation is strange. Does preparing the body and cremating it have anything to do with the afterlife? 🤔 so somehow, prepare body -> cremate -> mourn/afterlife?

Interesting in that Gege is giving us yet another example of how everyone has a different reality / belief. If we believe what we saw in Gojo’s death, then there is one and Shoko will be proven wrong when her time comes like how Gojo was wrong about dying alone.

And it is also interesting in the sense that it’s familiar…

Something about how she said prior to Gojo’s unsealing, about “I couldn’t love either of you like you loved each other, but I was there too.” - am I reading too deeply? Probably. But it’s there for me to read.

Shoko prepared Tsumiki for cremation. She was made her beautiful for the afterlife - even if she was to be cremated, there was something about giving her something (dignity?) before she turned to ash. And those left behind can send them off into the afterlife feeling they did their best.

I think you’d need a certain level of trust for someone to hand your beloved over. Or at least feel like they would mourn the departed like you would. Or faith that your beloved would be happy with entrusting you with that decision. In some cultures, the family wash and swathe their dead in cloth with their own hands where possible.

So Shoko. Shoko could do it for Geto, for Gojo. She was there. She was willing. But. It was almost as if saying that Gojo 1. could not allow someone else to prepare Geto’s body, and neither did he seem to have mourned because 2. Geto was not cremated to be sent into the afterlife. As if he didn’t trust anyone. As if he could not let go.

Again, Rika kept Yuta’s body “alive” too. Parallels are paralleling.

I don’t know how Geto regenerated or if Kenny was responsible for it. Or if Gojo somehow did. But those are just unnecessary details at this point.

And again, Shoko was there but she could not be like what Gojo was to Geto and what Geto was to Gojo.

How complicated.

I’m reminded of that scene where he says to ichiji and Shoko: “There are just 3 of us remaining huh.”

In agreement to Shoko acknowledging that Geto’s body needed retrieving from Kenjaku, it was quite a pregnant pause from Gojo before he goes, “………yeah.”

He seemed surprised Shoko brought it up and decided to just gloss over it.

To me, it collectively implies that Gojo doesn’t let Geto be anyone else’s but his.

His friendship was his one and only. His loneliness was his. His dreams were his. His love was his. His life was his. His body was... his. And his soul was his too. As was his satisfaction.

I think Gege wants us to understand something here. By what he is showing and not showing us.

If I think about the exclusivity that they shared... the whole, “we are the strongest (together)” and “it wouldn’t be bad to be killed by you” or even “I’m jealous but if you were satisfied I’m glad for you.” and then “if you were there to pat me on the back I’d be satisfied.”

It’s a lot like... only YOU can be the one. And therefore I think Gojo kept Geto all to himself. Maybe thinking Geto would only want HIM to touch his body.

It was his exclusive right. And that was mutually shared... because Geto wasn’t really pleased with Gojo getting satisfaction from elsewhere (lol, you know, the “jealous” 妬けるね that got the fandom in a frenzy).

I’ve mentioned it in another post... link: https://www.tumblr.com/lxmelle/758015943938113536/i-love-the-idea-of-mutuality-that-is-deeply-rooted I really do like the idea of Gojo and Geto just teaching each other things. Like selfishness and love. Binding each other to the other. Selfishness and selflessness as part of being human.

Was this an act out of the side of Gojo that was “a little selfish, a little inhuman but a little too human”, and he wanted to keep Geto all to himself? Despite not giving his best friend a proper burial?

When I think about how he normally did what Geto approved of (you can dispute this if you wish) and I think back to how he might’ve really given Geto’s body back to his family- but what we saw in the manga seemed like they didn’t have much involvement either. Surely they’d have wanted Geto cremated?

So it leaves me with the idea that it was Gojo acting out his secret feelings.

Just Gege and how he shields Gojo’s privacy. Secret words. Secret thoughts. You know. Gege being Gege letting Gojo do Gojo things.

I think we might need to accept that Gojo and Geto just have this exclusive thing we aren’t privy to.

That’s all for now. Abrupt ending 🫡

Thanks for reading my rambling if you made it this far 🫶

Feel free to share your thoughts/comments/criticisms 😄

[iznyangwoni]

EASY TO LOVE | chapter seventeen !

You’re in the bathroom fixing up your makeup when suddenly lots of giggling girls come in. You know a few of them, mostly because of parties, but its not like you’re their friend. You can barely remember their names.

You’re minding your own business but then you hear Jungwon’s name. And it’s not like you want to eavesdrop, but you’re there, and it seems like they’re speaking loud enough for you to hear. So… you try to pay a little bit more attention to them.

“He’s totally into you.” “Actually, i think he might like me more, i look more like his type anyway.” You chuckle at their conversation. God, do they really think they have a chance with Jungwon? He might be mad at you, but its not like he’s going to forget you any time soon… right?

“And what would his type be?” The bathroom falls silent at that question, and out of curiosity you raise your eyes to look at them through the mirror and yes, they’re looking at you. “Tch.” You sigh, finishing putting on your lip oil.

“Oh… hi Y/n.” You glance at the girl in the center, the one who was saying so proudly how Jungwon might like her more. “You and… You and Jungwon aren’t together, right?” “We never dated in the first place.” They were all so brave behind your back, but now that you’re looking at them they’re acting so awkward.

The girls nod at your answer, and honestly you should leave it at this and just go back to class, but you want to act like a little bitch just a little more. “So.. you think you’re as pretty as me, Jiwon?” You smile at the younger girl, taking a step towards her. “No! No I meant like… we’re the same height, i guess.”

You laugh at that, she’s definitely shorter than you, but that’s not the point. “I’m just kidding.” You say, but you’re a hundred percent serious. You put your lip products back into your bag, getting ready to leave. “I’m done playing with him, you know? You can have him now.”

You walk towards the door, but before you can actually leave you turn around to say one last thing. “I don’t usually love secondhand stuff, but you do you, right?” And with that you finally leave. You sigh, you had imagined Jungwon would be popular once you guys stopped hanging out, but you didnt think it would take so little time, nor that it would’ve affected you this way.

You start walking towards the hallway when you suddenly hear more steps. “Secondhand stuff?” Fuck. You forgot that the boys and girls bathroom were connected. You turn around, Jungwon is standing there with his arms crossed. You dont want to fight again, the last few days’ crying was enough.

You run a hand through your hair, a tired expression on your face, but then you notice the smirk on his. “Do you want to be left alone yes or no?” He chuckles, shaking his head. He’s not too far from you, and you hate how pretty you find him, he still has that annoyed expression, but its not as bad as last time.

“I won’t thank you.” You shrug, its not like you need his thanks. You keep silent, thinking that it will make him go away, but instead he stays there, his eyes on you. Oh you hate this, can’t he just leave you alone? Does he really have to look at you with those eyes, his lips pursed and his brows furrowed.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You almost whisper those words, the desperation in your voice clear. “Like what?” “Like you hate me.” He sighs and you rest your head and shoulder on the wall, he does the same right in front of you. “I don’t hate you.” Jungwon is trying his best to not reach out to you, he wishes he could just put his hand on your waist and kiss you again, but things arent so good right now.

“I’m just disappointed.” Again, you don’t say a word. You know he is, you can see it in his face, in his tone of voice. He doesn’t hate you but maybe you’d feel better if he did. “I’m surprised Minji even lets you talk to me.” “Oh, she doesn’t, in fact, she’d be mad if she were to find out.” He chuckles lightly before you both go quiet again. Your chest is going up and down slowly, you’re still looking at him tiredly, or maybe its sadness. You’re about to say that you have to go, but he speaks first.

“She’d be madder if she knew how much I like you, even after all you did.”

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[yatagarasuhonyaku]

The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 3

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.

Blog version

For the Index, you can find it HERE

Previously: Shigemaru (Part 2)

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 3)

As they advanced through the practical courses, the instructors relentlessly rejected the skills Shigemaru and his fellow commoners had. In Archery, they asked them to fix their stance, denying them the chance to even nock an arrow, and this was hardly the only subject where their basics—or lack thereof—got them scolded: they were stuck practicing blocking in Martial Arts, and in Swordsmanship all they did was relearning how to stand and hold their sword from zero.

Day after day, all they got were corrections. It was all how to hold their bows, the proper methods to block, and sword practice swings. Understandably enough, it had taken a toll on everyone’s motivation.

“...... You know, I’m really starting to suspect they're discriminating against us.”

The moment was after having gone through all practical courses at least once. By that point, their group study sessions had become a nightly event. To call it that was, however, a bit of an overstatement—in practice, they just came together to copy Yukiya's homework. They had gathered in Shigemaru and Yukiya’s dormitory room at first, but the number of petitioners had just kept on growing. Once the new additions to their group became more than three, they had no option but to change locations to an empty room instead.

Their little gathering was strictly composed of commoners from all kinds of places. There, facing his blank homework with a sullen look, was Kippei, a boy from the Eastern Region and the one who had just voiced his suspicions about discrimination. He had been the target of more corrections than anyone else during Swordsmanship that very day.

“What's up, all of a sudden?” Shigemaru looked up from his own homework, dropping his brush on the inkstone.

“There's nothing sudden about it!” Kippei complained. He seemed incapable of holding it in any longer. “I've thought about it from the start. Theory? I can still accept it, you know. After being in the same class, I can tell how smart Akeru and the others are.”

The problem lied in the practical courses. Commoners like them came to the Monastery because someone had recognized their sword skills or their physical prowess. Yet, in truth, they hadn’t even been given a chance to shine and just got reprimanded nonstop. It made him suspect—what if this was just silent harassment? What if they were trying to make them quit?

“But the instructors aren’t saying anything to Akeru and his followers. This is just unfair!”

Immediately, the other trainees jumped at the chance to air out their grievances, all in unanimous agreement.

“I’ve been thinking that as well.”

“Me too!”

“I was the best with a sword back home, and here I am! Stuck on simple practice swings!” Hisaya, quite prone to outbursts himself, pouted.

“If only they let us join free training, we could show them all we are capable of,” even Tatsuto, who wasn’t usually the kind to complain, joined in on the conversation.

“I bet Kashin is actually ridiculing us behind our backs!” a furious Kippei interjected again.

If they kept going like that, things would surely end badly. Struck by such a premonition and concerned about the consequences this little venting session would have if left unchecked, Shigemaru clapped his hands in an attempt to clear the room’s heavy atmosphere.

“Come on, come on! If you have the energy to complain, start moving those hands instead. As long as you have the skill, it’s just a matter of waiting to show it to them once we start with matches.”

“But Shige! We don't even know if they'll let us participate in the first place.”

“Does it really not bother you too, Shige?”

The entire group turned to stare at him all gloomily, and Shigemaru was at a loss on what to do next. He hadn’t ever intended it to work this way, but ever since everyone started to imitate Yukiya’s nickname for him, he had, in practice, become the group’s unofficial leader and mediator. While with power came responsibility and the last thing he wanted was to provoke a fight with the Court Ravens, he was the first one to have concerns on the matter.

At the same time as Shigemaru’s group struggled with their assignments, those from noble families were apparently handling both theory and practice with marked ease, and of them all, Akeru, who acted as the year’s Court Ravens representative, stood out as particularly talented. Horsemanship aside, Shigemaru still had yet to ever see him get reprimanded even once, so the boy had started to become a target of resentment and jealousy among the suffering commoners.

Meanwhile, Shigemaru and the other commoners were being constantly put on blast by the instructors. Even if he didn’t believe it to be out of prejudice, there had to be some reason for it. One they just weren’t seeing.

Shigemaru was thinking, trying to somehow find a good answer to the situation, when someone’s oblivious, carefree voice interrupted the scene. 

“Good job, everyone!” Yukiya, who had been absent until a moment ago, had just returned. “I just went to the kitchen to get some tea leaves. I even ended up picking up some dried sweet potato to go with it, so how about taking a short break?”

Yukiya greeted them with a bright smile on his lips. Up until a moment ago, the rest of the group had all been bad-mouthing Court Ravens, yet now they found themselves looking away out of sheer embarrassment. Yukiya had been helping them so much that nobody in the room was about to say anything against him, not willingly at least.

“...... Is something wrong?” Yukiya soon asked them. It seemed he hadn’t missed the room’s odd atmosphere.

As a panicked Hisaya jumped to deny the notion, Shigemaru stopped him. Thinking about it, asking for Yukiya’s opinion was probably the best thing they could do given the circumstances. Indeed, once Shigemaru told him the truth of what had happened, Yukiya didn’t even seem bothered by the group’s criticism of Court Ravens.

“Oh, I see. But I think you’re misunderstanding something,” he calmly denied their suspicions. “Right now, what they’re teaching us are all techniques geared towards official tournaments.”

“Official tournaments? Why would they do that?”

“This is the Unbending Reed Monastery, remember? You can’t have the Imperial Family’s private guard acting like hooligans, can you? That’s why they’re teaching us how to battle in a respectable manner, not fight like thugs. Your average Yatagarasu, who’s had no formal training, is not going to know how to do that. Corrections are bound to happen. I really get why you’re so angry,” Yukiya answered as if to mediate. “But, over anything else, bad habits could ultimately lead to injury, so to obey now is for your own future’s sake as well. Sure, Instructor Kashin may be bad-mouthed, but there hasn’t been anything wrong with his corrections.”

“...... Really?”

Recognizing if there was anything off with the corrections they got was beyond the capabilities of Shigemaru and the others—their shared confusion must have been obvious, because Yukiya turned to them once more.

“There’s no need to worry,” he added in a bright tone. “Akeru wasn’t scolded at all, that’s true, but it has nothing to do with his status as a scion of the Western House. I would bet he had a very good master who trained him even before coming here.”

Which meant that Akeru didn’t get any corrections simply because there wasn’t any need for them in the first place. While it was a relief to know the instructors weren’t playing favorites, the group couldn’t help but to panic as well at the therefore unknown skill gap.

They all had difficult expressions on their faces, yet Yukiya didn’t seem particularly concerned about it. “I take it you're worried about the existing gap with the nobles, aren’t you? But, you know, your ability to perform some exercises in a dojo doesn’t determine your strength in actual combat. I’m sure that if you went against them in a match right now, you would be the clear winners.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I mean, they clearly aren’t used to fighting. You can tell just by looking at them,” Yukiya’s eyes partially closed and the corners of his mouth moved upwards, yet one couldn’t in good faith call that expression a ‘smile’. “I’ve been watching everyone long enough to tell how much potential everyone actually has. It shows, you know? That all of you were selected for your skills in arms. Few could surpass you as far as sheer physical capability goes.”

“Wait—you’ve spent all this time watching others during lessons!? And here I am completely overwhelmed just dealing with my own stuff!” Kippei exclaimed, equally amazed and exasperated. 

“Anyway, let’s put aside those who, like me, come from warrior families and are Court Ravens in name only. I have a strong suspicion that Akeru and his followers will show their true colors very soon,” Yukiya confidently affirmed.

In answer, the entire group glanced at each other.

“Fine. Then, let’s just trust Yukiya and work hard for now. How about that?” Shigemaru asked.

“Let’s do that!”

“Sure, let’s.” Even those who had been strongly complaining just a moment ago nodded along. Leaving aside the matter of how trustworthy Yukiya was on the subject, Shigemaru just found himself tremendously relieved after seeing everyone agree and calm down for the time being.

But then, it only took a few days for the group to discover that Yukiya’s predictions had been mostly correct.

First of all, it became obvious that the instructors weren’t discriminating against anyone. As soon as they learned how to move as taught, the commoners started to join free training as well. The wooden swords they used to practice their swings were henceforth replaced by bamboo ones instead. It brought Shigemaru joy to see his friends holding them, looking entirely revitalized. However, this was also when reality came in to prove Yukiya's guesswork fallible.

While Akeru’s followers were losing against his friends one after another, the boy himself managed to protect his position at the top. Those who held animosity against him went to challenge him as soon as they were deemed worthy to join, yet none of them proved capable of winning against him with any form of consistency. 

“He may not be accustomed to fighting, but he seems quite used to dojo swordfighting,” Shigemaru commented to Yukiya during one of their breaks while he wiped away his sweat.

Yukiya forced a smile. “It seems like it. At the very least, it’s clear he trained quite a lot before coming here.”

At the moment, their topic of conversation himself looked to be extremely angry. Shigemaru couldn’t quite tell why, maybe because of his followers’ terribly poor showing?

“I may have underestimated him.” 

There was an air of superiority to Yukiya as he said that, one which gave Shigemaru quite the urge to point out something. “You sure act like you’re above him, but you didn’t even make a good showing in your own matches.”

“Ah, were you watching me?”

“When waiting in between turns, yes. Won’t it be a problem for you if things keep going like that?” 

Even though Yukiya had been talking big behind others’ backs, his skills with a sword weren’t anything to write home about. His basics were just fine and he moved well and fast, so Shigemaru hadn’t had any cause for concern before they started free training instead. Then, when it came to the moment of truth, Yukiya didn’t try to attack even once. Even when instructors loudly scolded him for going on the defensive like that, Yukiya would only laugh and make no noticeable attempt to fix his ways whatsoever.

——Maybe, in reality, it was Yukiya who wasn’t used to fighting.

Most importantly, practical courses mattered a lot more than theory in the Monastery Trials. Shigemaru had been too worried about himself to pay any mind to others up until then, but, when he realized that Yukiya may be the one in danger of dropping out, it became his main concern instead.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry! I’ll figure it out by the Trial of Gale.” And yet the boy himself couldn’t be more happy-go-lucky.

With their break over, they went back to the dojo as they chatted. No matter how much they tried to ventilate it, the place still reeked of sweat but, fortunately, they had all gotten used to it by that point. Once inside, they put on protective equipment for their knees and elbows and covered their heads with newly woven feather robes, all before they were even told to do so.

What awaited them, despite Shigemaru’s expectations on the contrary, wasn't free training as before. Instead, the instructors announced that they would be moving on to proper, formal matches instead. In such a format, the victor was usually determined on a best of three basis but, to build up the trainees’ endurance and to get them used to it, they had decided to have three rounds no matter who took the points this time around.

The assistants moved to stand in the middle of the dojo, forming a square with their bodies to mark the limits of the venue. Meanwhile, Shigemaru and Yukiya sat together in the front row as spectators, just slightly behind the line formed by the instructors. 

Kashin took on the role of referee and stood right in the center as he started to call for different trainees.

“Red, 3-2’s Akeru. Come forward.”

Akeru immediately stepped forwards, taking the red strap, with an overflowing air of superiority. He must have been expecting Kashin’s call.

“White, 1-1’s Chihaya. Come forward.”

Shigemaru wasn’t particularly familiar with Akeru’s opponent. He could remember crossing paths with him during classes, but they had never actually talked and he had no memory of the boy saying anything during any of the many different self-introductions either. Chihaya hadn’t left much of an impression on him, that was for sure.

As Shigemaru reflected on that, he gave Chihaya a look. One could tell just from appearance alone that he was a man of few words. His mouth was sealed in one thin, straight line, so tightly attached together that one couldn’t be blamed for thinking he may have never opened it even once ever since he was born.

He was tall and had a good, firm build, yet, perhaps because of his long face and sharp cheekbones, he instead gave off the impression of being overly thin and sickly. He had long bangs covering his face, and sharp eyes with characteristic small irises(1) peeked through from under them.

The two of them being chosen for the first formal match most likely meant that they were the most skilled trainees at present, at least according to the instructors. Chihaya tied the white strap on his hips and went to stand in front of Akeru, who was already waiting for him at the starting line. Once both trainees were ready to proceed, Kashin exchanged looks with his assistants. They all nodded.

“Start!”

The moment the match began, Akeru raised his voice as he prepared to attack. On the other hand, Chihaya stood there motionless and silent, watching him. Akeru seemed to hesitate for a second, unnerved by something, only to ultimately still go on the offensive immediately after. For a trainee, Akeru was nimble. He moved remarkably fast as he closed in and slashed downwards with his bamboo sword.

And yet, the next second, that same sword was cutting air.

It all happened in a second. Chihaya had twisted his body ever so slightly to dodge the hit and, with his bamboo sword held only in his left hand, he struck Akeru’s torso. The blow was strong enough for the sound of it to fill the entire room. Two of the assistants raised their left arms simultaneously—white straps in their hands.

“White, one point!”

——It had been so fast, Shigemaru’s eyes were unable to keep up.

Finally, the main referee raised his left arm as well and, having confirmed his victory, Chihaya simply fixed the neck of his kimono. It wasn’t particularly out of place to begin with. Meanwhile, Akeru just stood there, in complete shock, for a while before he returned to the starting line. His expression was clearly strained.

“Start!”

This time around, Akeru didn’t raise his voice or rush to the offensive the moment the match started. He instead opted for slight movements, carefully swaying the tip of his sword as he watched for Chihaya to attack first.

After a while, Chihaya moved. He stepped forward with ease, so much so that it was hard to believe he could pull it off during an actual match. He had been initially holding his sword with both hands, but it was now only held in his right hand. Akeru tried to defend himself, but his sword was snapped away from him by an upwards swing.

The bamboo sword spun in midair as it flew in the direction of the spectating trainees. By the time it fell to the ground—the boys around it dodging it in a panic—Chihaya had taken another point with ease by hitting a weaponless Akeru’s head.

“What was that…?” Shigemaru heard someone murmur. Not like he had any idea either—the difference between the two was just too stark.

After losing two points in such rapid succession, Akeru was pale as a sheet and, while this would have been the end of it in a normal three-point match, he had no option but to go through another round due to the circumstances.

Once Akeru had taken back his sword, both opponents returned to their starting positions. At that point, their expressions couldn’t be more different from one another. While the determination in Akeru's face made it clear he wouldn't be satisfied unless he could get at least one hit in, Chihaya seemed to be completely indifferent towards his opponent either way.

“Start!” 

Akeru went for a stab with a loud yell the second the third duel commenced. Yet, Chihaya hadn’t even bothered to get into a proper stance anymore, and instead of making any big effort to dodge Akeru's sword, he opted for barely moving his neck to elude the attack. With his sword held only in his left hand, Chihaya immediately went for a slash and landed a hit on his opponent's temple.

It was enough to send Akeru flying, and he ended up falling harshly to the ground with no chance to do a proper landing. The exact kind of crash that tended to cause more worry for the spectator than the victim.

“White, one point! Hey, are you alright?”

As soon as he announced the initial verdict, a panicking Kashin rushed to Akeru's side. The boy soon sat up and, even though he seemed unharmed, the expression on his face made it obvious that he couldn't understand what had just happened to him. In the meantime, Chihaya merely returned to the starting line without even glancing in Akeru’s direction, as inexpressive as always. Afterwards, they both bowed to each other, marking the end of the match.

It was clear the instructors hadn't expected this kind of unilateral result. Although, after a short discussion between them, they finally started to call trainees again, and neither Chihaya nor Akeru took part in another match that day.

“You're amazing!”

“I had no idea you were that strong!”

“Who the hell taught you how to use a sword like that!?”

After the match, Chihaya became a bit of a celebrity.

A group of trainees had gathered around him, all trying to strike up a conversation at once. Although many of them seemed to be driven by their dislike of Akeru, as one could have guessed, plenty had simply been taken by his skill with a sword from the looks of it, and while Chihaya himself gave no sign whatsoever of answering any of their many rapid questions, the people surrounding him proved to be too excited to care about that.

The evening classes had reached their end, so the trainees were on their way back from the dojo. A good distance behind Chihaya and his group of admirers were the study group regulars, all walking together.

“Dammit. I wanted to be the first to crush Akeru.”

“Nonono. I could have won against him, I just had to land another hit on him.”

As Kippei and Hisaya said that, grinding their teeth, Tatsuto sighed. “So you two were also incapable of defeating him……”

“Shut up!”

“What the hell are you going on about? You didn’t get a proper win against him either, Tatsuto.”

Shigemaru, pointedly ignoring his friends’ argument, glanced in Akeru's direction instead. “That aside, is Akeru truly okay after that?”

Although Akeru himself was silent, simply holding a wet towel to his temple, Shigemaru could see his followers staring daggers towards Chihaya’s enthusiastic group of admirers. 

“Well, it may look otherwise, but Chihaya was almost certainly holding back. I doubt there's any real concern for injury. The actual problem is—” Yukiya started to explain something before stopping all of a sudden, noticeably blinking. 

“What's wrong?” Shigemaru followed Yukiya's gaze. Upon realizing, he let out an unconscious ‘yikes’.

“Chihaya! I've heard you got quite the achievement today.”

Silence fell upon the entire group of Seeds once they saw who was coming towards them. Nobody knew how he had learned about the recent events, but Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana was nevertheless approaching them from the direction of the dining hall. Even Chihaya’s admirers retreated one step, scared of the Sapling closing in. Kimichika, however, paid them no mind and amiably patted Chihaya's shoulder instead. 

“And on top of that, you thoroughly crushed that Western House brat! Is that true?” As Chihaya himself didn't say anything in answer, Kimichika instead looked up towards a certain group of trainees who, pointedly ignoring him, had tried to move along. “Hey, Akeru, is it true?”

At his call, Akeru stopped in his tracks. He turned around towards Kimichika with barely concealed rage. “......Yes, I lost. So what.”

“I see, I see. That's amazing. You seem to be unaware, my Lord, but Chihaya, the one to defeat you, is a Hill Raven working for my House.” Kimichika pointed at Chihaya with his chin, while Chihaya only stood there without uttering a single word. But then, if he served Kimichika's house, that only meant one thing—he was part of the Animiya faction. “For someone like you, who put on airs over being Wakamiya's faithful servant, that must be the last person you would want to lose against. Oh, what a shame for you, both as a Court Raven and a faction representative.”

Kimichika let out an unpleasant laugh. Meanwhile, Akeru remained expressionless, his lips trembling, before finally sighing quietly. All things considered, he had recovered his composure surprisingly fast.

“I'm sorry to say this when you're enjoying my loss so much, but this may be your last chance to do so.”

“Huh?”

“Well, His Majesty the Emperor is going to abdicate the throne in favor of His Highness. It has been decided already.”

“——What!?”

“There should be an official announcement very soon. Now I wonder—for how much longer will the South still be able to act like pretentious fools?” Akeru spoke decisively.

Clear shock replaced the boastful look on Kimichika's face. This must have been news to him. He wasn’t the only one—even the onlookers, incapable of containing themselves any longer, stopped holding their breaths and started a ruckus.

Seeing that from the corner of his eyes, Akeru smiled ever so slightly. “It’s just the truth of the matter. It’s why His Highness couldn't attend the entrance ceremony. The imperial council on the matter took longer than expected, it seems.”

Instead of targeting Kimichika, who was speechless and seemingly deep in thought, Akeru turned towards the so-far mute Chihaya immediately afterwards.

“Chihaya. What a shame. To get kicked out over politics with your master here despite your enormous talent. Luck sure doesn’t seem to favor you, tying you to someone like him. If only you were serving someone in the Wakamiya faction,” Akeru said sardonically.

Chihaya’s gaze was still downcast, fixed on the ground. Finally, he murmured something. “...... I don’t care about either faction.”

Although Akeru's eyes widened from surprise as well, it was Kimichika who seemed the most shocked by his words. “Hey! What the fuck are you saying? Come here, right now!”

Kimichika grabbed him and dragged Chihaya away from everyone without even giving him a chance to say his farewells. Having watched both of them disappear in the distance, a still dumbfounded Shigemaru let out a groan before speaking. “...... The situation is about to get real weird, ain't it?”

As a witness of those two’s relationship and their obvious lack of anything even resembling trust, Shigemaru was overcome by the most terrible feeling. And, just one hour(2) later, it too proved to be a reality at dinnertime.

“——You shit, would you stop with the damn attitude already!?”

The trainees were in the middle of cleanup when a furious scream resonated through the dining hall. Everyone immediately turned to the direction it came from.

“What's going on?”

“A fight?”

Usually, the instructors were the first ones to take care of their trays, followed by Evergreens and Saplings in that order, so by that point the only ones still present were Seeds. And yet, Shigemaru saw a familiar someone with a characteristic hooked nose striking a pose in the distance.

“Isn't that Chihaya and Kimichika?”

“Huh, where did Kimichika's followers go?”

“Useless when it truly matters.” As Shigemaru and Yukiya whispered among themselves, the conversation between Kimichika and Chihaya took yet another turn for the worse.

“I'll say it once more, Chihaya. Clean. My. Tray.” Kimichika’s voice was trembling, barely holding in the desire to scream at Chihaya.

Meanwhile, Chihaya remained seated, motionless and completely unfazed by Kimichika's overbearing attitude. “I refuse.”

“Why!?”

“No reason.” While Chihaya wasn't someone one would call talkative, that had been enough to grasp the situation. As Kimichika tried to drop his tray where Chihaya was, the other only refused stubbornly.

“I'm ordering you as your senior! You are supposed to listen to me, no matter what!” Kimichika yelled again.

Chihaya briefly looked up at him and snorted. Kimichika's face was twisted in pure rage—they must have repeated this particular exchange a bunch of times already. Shigemaru expected him to yell once more, yet Kimichika's expression suddenly changed into one of abnormal calm.

“You know what'll happen if you disobey me, right? You haven't forgotten, by any chance?”

Chihaya glanced back questioningly, and Kimichika’s lips curved. “It's not only a you problem, you know—or should I give you a reminder of that?” 

Kimichika’s words were dripping with confidence. That very second, the look in Chihaya’s eyes drastically changed. His until then characteristic indifference had been quickly replaced by unbridled anger. Even though Kimichika had been the one to provoke him first, he found himself balking at the abnormal atmosphere surrounding Chihaya.

“...... What. Do you plan to defy me?”

Chihaya stood up. He moved effortlessly and silently.

——Shit, things were about to get real bad.

At the realization, Shigemaru’s eyes darted around the hall and found everyone else standing frozen in place. Left with no alternative, Shigemaru finally steeled his resolve—just as someone else beside him moved first.

“Ooops, my bad, I slipped!”

A mix of grilled eggplant, chilled wheat noodles and miso soup splashed all over Kimichika's nape. As for who had screamed, it was none other than Yukiya, who had somehow managed to sneak behind him without making any noise. On top of that—and this couldn't just be Shigemaru's imagination—he had actually made a point to gather all of his leftovers before slipping unnoticed and throwing his entire bowl's contents on Kimichika.

Yukiya, you bastard, you did it! Shigemaru barely restrained himself from laughing out loud as he ran in their direction as well.

“Aah, I'm sorry! What a bad idea, though, to stand idly in the middle of the room. The other Saplings have already cleaned their trays and left, so what keeps you here?” Yukiya tried to apologize, but the delivery was the very picture of stiffness. He used his own sleeve to clean Kimichika’s face, or so he made it look. In practice, he was just smearing the mashed eggplant even further.

Incapable of comprehending the sudden development, Kimichika and Chihaya stood there as unmoving as statues for a while.

“You, fucking little runt!” As Kimichika finally came to his senses, he shook off Yukiya's hand and screamed in indignation. Truth be told, not even Shigemaru could blame him for that. This wasn’t the moment to laugh at Kimichika’s hysterics, however, so he instead rushed to the group and put himself in the middle.

“Now, now, please calm down. My friend here didn't mean to do anything bad! He's just tired from the practical courses, you see, so his footing wasn't that good. Right, Yukiya?”

“Yes, exactly! I didn't intend to do it,” Yukiya said as he meekly bowed in apology.

Understandably, Kimichika wasn't fooled by that. “Don't fuck with me! If you didn't intend to do it, then why were you here of all places!?”

The dining hall was huge. There was quite the distance from the spot of the incident to the place where everyone left their trays. Around nine meters(3), in fact.

Shigemaru and Yukiya exchanged glances. “Why were you here?”

“Taking a walk.”

“Taking a walk, he says.”

“Do you two fuckers want to die by my hand that badly?” Kimichika's tone was low, and one could see blue veins bulging in his forehead. Then, just as Shigemaru was wondering how to dodge the question, Kimichika took a better look at their faces out of the blue. “Ah, you two are from the North, right? Well, you Hill Ravens from the countryside may not know it, but the Minami-Tachibana are quite influential even in the Center.”

Stunned by the out of nowhere bragging, Shigemaru stared blankly at him.

“So?” It was just Shigemaru’s honest reaction, but the corners of Kimichika's lips twitched.

“...... You don’t even know that? Rokon, one of Lord Natsuka's first and most important retainers, was known by a different name before(4). None other than Michichika of Minami-Tachibana. He’s, in other words, my older brother. I wonder what kinds of inconveniences await you once he learns you made fun of his little brother?”

“Even if that may be the case, we won’t exactly come asking for your mercy. There’s no need for you to worry.” Before Shigemaru even got a chance to talk, Yukiya had already resolutely dismissed him. “Still, you sure are crude and boring, aren't you? Who brings up his brother's influence that easily? And just to bully a couple of juniors! Don't you have, I don't know, any better options?”

From Yukiya’s tone, he sounded as if he was about to sigh and, just like that, Kimichika's air of importance crumbled away.

“What’s a lowly servant like you doing talking back to me!? As if you know anything!” Kimichika grabbed him by the collar and raised his fist as if to hit him, yet Yukiya stared back at him as if the entire situation wasn't even his problem. Shigemaru could tell Yukiya was fully planning to take the incoming punch—but it never came.

The second before it came to happen, Shigemaru intercepted Kimichika's arm. “Could you wait a moment, please?”

With his arm seized, Kimichika stared at him in confusion. He wasn’t the only one—Yukiya, who had been quite accepting of his fate, did so as well.

“Why did you grab me!?”

“You see, had this been a senior fed up with his junior's attitude, I would get it. However, I can't just stand aside when you make it about status.” The Unbending Reed Monastery was a place where might makes right. Within its walls, one's family status had no bearing whatsoever. They had been told that much very recently. “What’s the point of coming here if we're going to be ridiculed for our birth!? And, of all people, you definitely have no right to do so!”

Shigemaru's shout resounded like thunder as it traveled through the entire hall. Kimichika gulped ever so slightly, but stubbornly stared back at him instead of balking. “Let me go.”

“First let Yukiya go.” Shigemaru was still a Seed, but he was larger than Kimichika. Admittedly, he had no idea how long he could keep up against a Sapling, someone with an extra year of experience over him, but he hoped to at least give him a scare if it came down to blows.

Then, in the middle of such a tense atmosphere, support came from the unlikeliest of places. “Sapling Kimichika, I would recommend you stop right there.”

“Huuh?” Kimichika’s natural enemy had arrived along with his followers. “Akeru, you shit, coming to talk back to your seniors as well?”

“It looked to me as if you were speaking not as their senior but as a Court Raven, or am I mistaken? So, as a fellow Court Raven, let me warn you about something.”

“About what?”

“The person you just derogatively called a ‘lowly servant’ and attempted to punch isn't who you think—but a legitimate scion of the Northern House.”

Shigemaru turned in astonishment to Yukiya, whose face looked like he had just eaten something foul. Akeru casted a glance at his reaction as well, yet he didn’t seem to care as he kept on dispassionately disclosing the details.

“He's the grandson of the man at the very top of all warrior families—the Northern Lord, Great General Gen'ya. Within the Northern House, he’s fourth in rank, only behind the Heir and his firstborn son. Truly a Court Raven among Court Ravens.”

“This guy…?” Kimichika blurted out, completely dumbfounded.

Yukiya, meanwhile, seemed to be completely done with the entire situation. “Eh, that may be the case, yes, I guess.”

Upon the sudden discovery of an unknown high noble among their midst, shock ran through the Seeds, who had been watching with bated breath. Whispers soon spread like ripples throughout the entire hall. However, as the murmurs continued, a figure appeared from the hallway—it was none other than Seiken. Someone had to have gone to call for him.

Kimichika softly clicked his tongue.

“What's happening here?”

That was a question with no easy answer.

They all went silent for a while. In the end, the first one to raise his hand was Yukiya. “I tripped and dropped some miso soup on my senior here.”

“Oh,” Seiken didn’t react at all beyond a murmur, his expression unchanged. He turned towards Kimichika. “Is that correct?”

Being the actual source of the problem as he was, Kimichika was left in no position to disagree or argue. He made a bitter face. “It is, yes.”

Seiken gave them a small nod. “I see, I get it now. First of all, Yukiya. A warrior shouldn’t be tripping and causing others harm. Apologize to your senior.”

“Yes. My apologies, Sapling Kimichika,” Yukiya obediently bowed towards him.

Seiken watched Kimichika as the boy looked down on Yukiya with a very sour face. As he proceeded, his manner of speech remained matter-of-factly. “Now, Kimichika. You should have been able to dodge something like that, I hope you realize. To explode like that and raise your voice against a Seed is also unbecoming of you.”

“...... I apologize.”

“Both sides were in the wrong, so it should be fine to leave it at that. Any issues?” Seiken said. Then, he just quietly watched both trainees.

“None.”

“It’s fine with me.”

So neither side had complaints. “Very well. You two, better learn from this. Your punishment shall be to work together to clean this mess. Understood?”

——In short, Seiken let them all go scot-free.

Both boys immediately agreed and saluted their instructor. Seiken gave them a pleased smile and, with that matter settled, he turned his gaze towards Akeru instead. “Good job mediating.”

“Oh, I couldn't simply stand aside as a Court Raven in the same faction as Yukiya,” Akeru calmly answered in turn.

“I won’t deny that but,” Seiken continued with his usual smile, “I don't recommend bringing up house matters like that in the Monastery. It may have worked here, but it wasn't really your place to reveal Yukiya’s status like that.”

Akeru was clearly not used to getting any warnings from the instructors. His eyes widened, caught by surprise, before he frowned and looked up at Seiken in defiance.

“...... Instructor Seiken, who do you side with? The Animiya Faction, or Wakamiya's?”

Prompted by Akeru's question, Kimichika’s gaze became piercing. He wasn't the only one either—all the trainees in the hall turned towards Seiken at once. Yet the man didn't hesitate—not even for a second—, that faint smile of his unshaken. Not even a situation like this was enough to break through his usual gentle demeanor.

“There's not much meaning in such a question. Lord Natsuka has expressed his wish to serve His Highness Wakamiya, so I don’t think such factions are a good fit for the current state of affairs.”

“That's just officially, isn't it? In practice, the Imperial Court is divided into them.”

“Even if that's the case,” Seiken calmly looked at the increasingly emotional Akeru, “The Monastery is a facility to raise members of the Yamauchi Guard, those who shall serve the Imperial Family. It would be wrong to pay undue attention to factions or any hierarchy beyond that of the Golden Raven himself. Even if the person is part of the Imperial Family. Besides, first and foremost, I'm an instructor here at the Monastery.”

Seiken's tone was no different whatsoever from what he used during lessons. “Whatever the state of politics may be, my duty is to support this facility's trainees.” Akeru was left with no arguments, and Seiken gave him a concerned look. “If you obsess so much over what's going on outside, you'll miss what's happening around you. Do be careful.”

“——So? Can someone explain to me what's going on?” Ichiryuu asked, his eye twitching.

“Well, as Instructor Seiken told us to do, we were cleaning the dining hall until a moment ago. Kimichika left early despite being told to do it too, though. It's honestly already a miracle we received no real punishment, which is why we have no intention to tell on him, all things considered. It was truly lucky for us that it was Instructor Seiken,” Shigemaru replied.

“No, no, I don't care about that part,” Ichiryuu grumbled. “What I actually want to know is why exactly this room has an additional Seed now!”

There were actually three boys sitting squarely in front of the scowling Ichiryuu. Yukiya, Shigemaru—and Chihaya.

“Oh, that’s because of Kimichika! He was the one in charge of mentoring Chihaya, but he went and kicked him out of their room.”

He had been the cause of the entire incident, yet Chihaya ended up being completely ignored midway through. As Shigemaru was painfully aware they had just made matters worse for him, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore his plight.

“As long as we make it in time for the morning roll call, I've heard that the instructors don't care what we do outside of lessons. Sapling Ichiryuu, he truly has nowhere to go. Won't you let him remain here in the tenth room with us?”

“No freaking way. The room is already tiny as-is, and you're asking me for permission to make it worse?” The main interested party, Chihaya, kept up his glum silence in a corner of the room, unwilling to cooperate. Meanwhile, the obviously dissatisfied Ichiryuu was at his wit’s end, holding his head. “Don't you get it? Mind to remember that due to your size, Shigemaru, my own space is already reduced to only a quarter of the entire? I'm a Sapling, I'm not supposed to have so little space to sleep!”

“Don't be so stingy! You're our senior, right?”

“Then tell me, juniors, who exactly are the ones forcing their senior to go through such a humiliation?”

“We just have to take the partition screen away, don't we?” Yukiya said, a rather blatant attempt to poke fun at him.

“No fucking way,” Ichiryuu growled in response before, finally, covering his face with his hands. “Besides, this entire mess was because of Kimichika, right? I told you not to get involved with him! I knew it already, somehow, but I see you truly don't listen to what I say,” Ichiryuu lamented to himself.

“Is Kimichika unpopular even among the Saplings?” Shigemaru asked him.

“Huh? Ah, yes……” Ichiryuu responded bitterly. “There are rumors that he only passed last year's trial because some instructor with ties to the South is playing favorites with him. His personality is awful and he's as dumb as a brick, so nobody outside his circle of Southern people likes him. He’s somewhat strong though, I’ll give him that.”

“Stronger than you, Sapling Ichiryuu?”

“Cut it out! Anyway, he's someone who you would expect to get kicked out because of his personality alone.”

That kind of insolent behavior was a constant of his and he was always surrounded by his own Southern followers, according to Ichiryuu. Taking care of their own trays after dinner was a rule that applied to everyone, be it instructor or trainee. Kimichika’s disrespect for the rules was, ultimately, the actual source of the problem.

——Disregarding the Monastery's rules was a massive issue in itself, so the house he came from didn't even matter. At that moment, just as that thought crossed his mind, Shigemaru happened to remember something else—the real identity of the boy sitting right beside him, Yukiya.

“Actually, now that we’re talking about that—so you were an actual young master,” Shigemaru nonchalantly said to him.

“Wait a moment!” Yukiya, on the other hand, panicked all of a sudden. “I didn’t lie per se when I said I was from Taruhi. It's just—my birth mother is from the Northern House. That's all! So, you see……” Yukiya's voice started to fizzle out until it completely died off. He looked at Shigemaru with an upwards gaze. “Are you angry?”

From the looks of it, Yukiya was genuinely scared of his reaction.

“Why would I be?” Shigemaru, puzzled, asked back. “I said it before, remember? I have no intention to judge others over the circumstances of their birth. If I hated you simply because you're a noble, then I wouldn't be any different from Kimichika, would I?”

“Shige!” Yukiya exclaimed. The boy was oddly yet clearly moved by his words and, to Shigemaru, that made for quite the amusing reaction.

“Ah, but don't ask me to treat you with that kind of respect after all this time. It won't happen,” Shigemaru took his chance to tease him.

“Who would say an idiotic thing like that!?” Yukiya shouted. “I'm actually glad to hear that.”

“And I thought you would say so! So, business as usual for us.”

After spectating the entire conversation with plain concern in his eyes, Ichiryuu finally sighed in relief. With that problem solved, he instead turned his head slightly, glancing at Chihaya, who hadn't uttered a word ever since he had arrived.

“...... Well, if there's no alternative, fine. Listen, Chihaya, I don't mind if you spend the nights here, but you better not cause any further issues. No fights and, please, let's coexist in peace.” Otherwise, Ichiryuu’s utter failure as a mentor would catch even the instructors’ attention.

However, Chihaya's answer was as blunt as it was cold. “I refuse.”

At first, Ichiryuu wasn't able to grasp what Chihaya had just said.

“W-What?” His voice shook. He hadn’t said anything strange as the room's senior, it could even be said to have been the absolute bare minimum. Why would Chihaya refuse like that? He couldn’t figure it out.

“Chihaya?” Yukiya too called out to him.

In the meantime, Chihaya’s sharp eyes were fixed dangerously on Ichiryuu and Yukiya.

“You and the runt. You're nobles, right?”

“Even if you call us nobles… Yukiya aside, I'm just from the rural nobility,” a stunned Ichiryuu answered.

“Then you have horses.”

“Eh? Well, yes.”

A Township Lord's residence couldn't even begin to function without horses. It would greatly affect the officers’ work. Shigemaru had visited the Shimaki Lord’s residence once, and he remembered seeing some impressive stables there. He truly doubted Taruhi was in any way different. It was all simply a given, yet Chihaya's gaze got even colder once he heard that.

“I hate Court Ravens. We can't get along then.” He glared at them, all stunned into silence, before rushing to the exit and leaving the room altogether.

“Wait, Chihaya!” Yukiya tried to follow after him, but Shigemaru quickly stopped him.

Once he got him to stop, Shigemaru turned towards a shocked Ichiryuu and deeply bowed his head. “I'm sorry, senior, but could you wait for a bit?”

“Wait, why are you apologizing in the first place?”

“As a fellow Hill Raven, it’s not as if I can't understand how he feels. Would you leave this to me?”

Unlike Court Raven, Hill Raven was often used to talk about commoners in a derogatory way. Making a point out of using those words in specific was apparently enough for Ichiryuu to get the gist of the problem. There was clear tension on his face as he gave him a still dazed nod.

“——Fine, I'll leave it to you. Bring him back here immediately.”

“Thank you.” Shigemaru took his ornamented blade and flew out of the room.

It didn’t take him long to find Chihaya. He was right behind the building, sitting with his back against the wall. The light leaking from the inside dimly illuminated him, and there was a small bundle of belongings at his feet. Kimichika had thrown it at him when he kicked him out. It was all of Chihaya’s luggage, a shockingly small amount even for a commoner.

“..... Both Ichiryuu and Yukiya were at a loss.” Shigemaru called out to him as he made sure to keep his distance. Chihaya glanced at him for a second, before dropping his gaze back to the ground.

“I don't care.”

“Well, you should be a bit more humble if you plan to secure a place to sleep. Don't tell me you plan to pass the night out here?”

“That was the idea, yes.”

“Wait, wait—are you for real?”

Shigemaru had been fully intending to bring Chihaya back to the tenth room, yet he had never imagined Chihaya was truly planning to sleep outside otherwise. After thinking for a while, Shigemaru leaned on the wall by Chihaya’s side with enough space between them that it was impossible to reach the other even if they extended their arms.

“I doubt Yukiya and Ichiryuu have ever considered how much the Yatagarasu who end up as horses must truly hate it, you know,” Shigemaru mused as he looked up to the sky.

There was the waning moon, floating dimly over the dormitories’ lined up roofs. Soft moonlight shone over the persimmon trees, already covered in young green leaves, leaving shadows all over the ground. Shigemaru inhaled deeply—the air was different now than when they had first joined. One could feel the approaching summer in it.

“....... And, if you think about it, the most likely reason they can't imagine it at all is because they haven't ever mistreated one, right?”

He heard Chihaya quietly laugh at his side. “If that’s enough for them to ignore the problem, isn't that more cruel than actual mockery?”

“Maybe it is,” Shigemaru felt Chihaya relaxing beside him, so he intentionally employed a nonchalant tone as he spoke. “You know, during a famine long ago, my grandpa on my mother's side was left with no options to survive. He refused to sell my mom to the Red Light District, so he chose to become a horse for the local landlord. I wouldn’t have even been born if he hadn't made that sacrifice.”

Chihaya didn't say a word in answer, but he changed his pose. He was listening to what Shigemaru had to say. “He made the decision himself, so he turned into quite the well-behaved horse. It seems his owners were very gentle with him too, so much so that the entire family took personal care of him in his last moments. Is it cruel? Yes, maybe, but I'm glad my grandpa wasn't whipped or didn’t have to suffer unnecessarily at least. I would rather have it that way.”

“...... He protected his daughter.”

Chihaya was still very much a man of few words, but Shigemaru nevertheless understood what he meant—that he found his grandpa admirable.

“Thank you,” Shigemaru softly laughed. “If I had to make a guess, both Yukiya and Ichiryuu are ‘good owners’ as well and haven't ever had a family member become a horse. They're nice people, but I very much doubt there's any fixing that. There are things you can't truly understand until you experience them yourself.”

Chihaya didn’t speak at all, but he made a point out of his own lack of reaction.

“But, even if that’s the case, I think it would also be your loss to reject them altogether over that. Just as we cannot become Court Ravens because we want to, it’s not like they have ever experienced the life of a Hill Raven either,” Shigemaru stretched as he said that. “I’m fine if we don't understand each other perfectly. I don’t care for the kind of person who will force said understanding. You know, what actually matters to me is whether they comprehend that there's no reason to ridicule or look down on others over the world they live in.”

“So you’re saying I should remain silent to the Court Ravens’ abuse?” Chihaya spouted sarcastically.

“No way!” Shigemaru laughed. “Mock those small-minded enough to accept only their own worldviews all you want. But if you sneer at people just because they happen to be Court Ravens, you aren’t really any different from them.”

Finally, Chihaya sighed weakly, his eyes still fixed on his feet. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Good, that should be enough.”

They stayed there for a long while. Shigemaru gazed at the night sky and Chihaya at the ground, his arms crossed inside his sleeves.

“...... People like family to me were falsely accused of stealing. They had their legs cut. The son of the landlord at the farm they worked at was the actual perpetrator,” Chihaya murmured.

“I see,” was Shigemaru’s only response. Chihaya probably meant the third leg that appeared in bird form, given the context.

——Someone close to Chihaya was falsely incriminated and Disarticulated.

While those who became horses by contract had their third leg bound with a special cord by their owners, and they couldn't transform back to human form without permission, there was no going back for those who had their leg cut, their other form forever out of reach.

For the first time since their conversation had started, Chihaya raised his head to look at Shigemaru.

“Don't—”

“Say anything, right? I won't, don't worry. I'll wait until you're ready to tell them yourself.”

“Will that day ever come?” 

While Chihaya seemed to have no such expectations, Shigemaru nodded with full confidence. “It will. At the very least, I believe so.”

Next: Akeru (Part 1)

—————————————

1: Sanpaku eyes or three whites eyes (三白目) refer to cases in which the sclera around the iris is also visible (be it under, over or both) due to it being comparatively tiny.

2: The time measurement here is actually done in koku (刻). Historically, koku has meant many things, with a day being divided differently depending on time period and area. Probably the most well known form of koku has night and day divided in 6 koku each, for a total of 12 koku, each one named after one of the animals of the chinese zodiac. While, in practice, this meant the length of a koku changed depending on the time of the year and whether it was a night koku or a day koku, the overall average length would be that of two of our modern hours. As far as I know, this and koku-as-half-an-hour are the most well-known standards, but due to pure narrative logic I'm interpreting the koku in Yamauchi as 12-koku-a-day. Finishing dinner and cleaning in 15 minutes for so many people is unrealistic.

3: Once more, ancient forms of measurement are used here. In this case, it's the Ken (間). Unlike the Koku and its flexible nature, a Ken is precisely 1,818 meters.

4: Rokon is what we would call a 'dharma name' (戒名), which are either given to buddhist monks after taking their vows or, within japanese culture at least, given to the dead posthumously. The first category is the one that applies here. This is also the case for other characters who have taken vows like, for example, Natsuka. The men aside, Masuho no Susuki most likely got a dharma name as well once she became a nun, but as she uses her alias or karina (仮名) we never get to learn about it. As one would expect of a setting based on the Heian era, when one could say Zen Buddhism was most influential, a lot of details are affected by it.

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter Twenty-One: Friend Or Foe, Part II

Gates Of Hell

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: amnesia, needles, guns, death, guilt

[A/N: since the last chapter showed what steve was up to, i figured we should find out what was happening to mini hopper over here... *hint* it's not fun]

Friend Or Foe, Part II

“Which is why I’m sorry.”

You push him, the faceless boy, into a void. There are so many noises echoing across concrete walls, a splintering boulder bashing against the door, your only exit.

At first, you just stand there, staring as the open wall closes itself, a cry of your name thrown from the other side. And then you hear snarls, growls, monsters. You run.

But there is nowhere to run.

You’re caged in a corner, creatures drawn from the shadows, covering your face as you prepare for the end.

“WAKE UP”

You wake up with a gasp, twisting the soft cushion below you and immediately open your mouth to call for- Your breath stops in your throat. Who were you calling for?

Leaning on your elbow, you take a look around the furnished room. You fell asleep on the couch again. How many times was this now? At least eight, you think. You aren’t entirely sure how many days you’ve been down here.

You send a quick glance to the new pile of clothes waiting on the armchair opposite, a soft frown pinching your eyebrows. You still didn’t know where Brenner got them from. He left a different assortment every so often. You tried not to think about if they came from a deserted store, or somewhere much more morbid.

As you walk past, you grab a grey sweatshirt and pull it over, staring down at the sleeves.

You’ve worn something like this before. A hoodie of some kind. You remember it brought you comfort. You remember… it wasn’t yours.

A frustrated sigh echoes the room as you drag your hands down your face. Once again, you couldn’t locate the boy your brain so itched to find.

Brenner was helping you with your memories. Every day, you would do some mind exercises, incredibly mundane but so so important to you. At the end of each session, you’d take your medication and try to continue what he was teaching. You didn’t want to be stuck in this bunker forever, but how were you meant to leave when you couldn’t even find the door?

Besides, Brenner treated you with kindness. There were worse places to be in an apocalypse.

You take a deep breath, nodding to yourself. Today would be the day. You were going to remember.

The door creaked a familiar welcome when you leave the room, staring down the hall. You wonder if you have enough time to go exploring again.

A consequential part of the bunker you couldn’t wrap your head around was the lack of time. There wasn’t a single clock on the walls you so often wander around. Brenner always seemed to know exactly when everything should happen, however. Your tests, sleeping schedules, appropriate times to eat. And yet, you’ve never managed to catch him with a watch on his wrist.

You find the central part of the building, staring up at it with awe, as you did every single time. Here, there were separate floors for separate doors, all circling you as you stand in the middle. This section of the bunker made it seem much bigger than you had assumed it to be. In fact, the label bunker didn’t seem to match the grand scale of it. Although, you weren’t sure what else to call it now. A base, perhaps.

None of the doors here opened, windows blacked out with paint. Whether they were like that before or after Brenner moved in, somebody didn’t want you seeing inside those rooms. You were curious about them, as anyone else would be, but they weren’t a priority for you; finding the missing pieces of your memories were.

You’ve had several flashes of your forgotten past flash into your mind at random points over the past few days, but none gave you enough information to decipher what you were seeing. Just yesterday you had been staring down the same hallway you were now stood facing, imagining the lights flickering wildly with a panicked thrum of your heart beating against your chest.

You wondered when you would give up trying. It was silly, really, to constantly be wondering that when Brenner always told you positive thinking would better the results. You couldn’t help it. You supposed part of you must have always been expecting the worst outcome. You didn’t even remember who you really were. Did you really want to remember?

...Were you worth remembering?

Do the people who you left behind want you to remember-

“Why do you do that? Act like you aren’t someone important, when you most definitely are.”

You blink, footsteps frozen. It had just been a whisper in your mind, a calming voice. You’d been hearing it a lot lately, mostly in your dreams, sometimes when you’re overthinking like this. He was still faceless, whoever it was ushering sweet words of emotional relief. If you could just see him, the boy in your dreams, you’re sure you’d finally find that missing piece.

“We should rethink this.”

You stop again, head turning to the hallway with a confused expression. That voice most certainly wasn’t in your head. And it didn’t belong to anyone you knew, either.

“Calm down, this is what we’ve wanted since we started this whole thing.”

Brenner’s voice drifted down the hall this time. Without another thought, your feet are guiding you to the murmurs of conversation, curiosity proving it had you rather than reversed.

The speech between two men was louder when you reach the door at the end of the hall, concealing yourself around the corner and peering into the room.

From the gap in the door, you could make out a face you hadn’t see before. He seemed to be similar in age to Brenner, sporting a long white lab coat. His right hand was fiddling with the pen between his fingers, a nervous trait if you ever saw one. He was a little shorter than the man stood in front of him, his face twisted into some sort of conflicted emotion. From the discussion you were overhearing, it was clear he was in the opposition.

“Can it not wait longer?” He persisted, taking a step forward. “We can find another way. I just need time-”

“We’re out of time.” Brenner interrupts, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be alright, my friend. Think of all the things we can…”

His voice trails off, retracting his hand and straightening his back. You can’t see his expression from where you’re stood, but the man he was with seemed confused by it.

“Y/n.” Brenner suddenly turns around with a smile. Your stomach drops in shame. You obviously weren’t as inconspicuous as you hoped. “Please, come in.”

You take a few tentative steps into the room, observing the machines with various enticing buttons. There was a giant window at the back, replacing the wall. Except, you couldn’t see out of it. A giant shutter was rolled down, stopped just before completely covering the space and leaving a slither of light at the bottom. You frown at the sight. A giant window. In a control room…

“Okay.” A girl breathes out, slotting the key into a metal door. “We lock the door anytime we leave, just in case. We take shifts so some of us end up sleeping between. Don’t wanna be blind-sided.”

“It’s a good idea.” You say and she smiles.

“This way.” She announces as she swings open the door.

It was like stepping into a sci-fi movie. Lab equipment everywhere, some now lifeless machines, a large glass window overlooking rows of metal staircases, cages.

And a giant gate to hell staring back at you.

“This is Dr. Owens.” Brenner interjects the swirling memories, stepping forward. You peel your eyes away from the shutters and finally acknowledge the men standing in front of you. “I have brought him here to help with your memories. He’s very skilled in this area.”

Owens was happily nodding, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. You think you’re pretty good at reading people, consequence of the years you would sit and observe on the outside of many conversations. This man looked… sad, in some way.

“It is a pleasure to meet you. I hope my sudden appearance isn’t alarming in any way.” He offers a hand and you shake it, feeling the slight tremor in his grip. Something felt wrong.

“Well, shall we begin today’s session?” Brenner claps his hands and Owens retrieves his, nodding and walking out of the room.

You watched as he turned right towards the centre of the base rather than left to the room you’ve been conducting these sessions for weeks.

Brenner notices your confusion and places a hand on your shoulder. “We’re moving to a different room this time. Nothing to be worried about, I assure you. We just need some better equipment for this.”

He barely gives you time to think, the hand on your back guiding you out the door before you can even remember the window at the back of the room, holding a secret the universe didn’t want you to find.

“Before we begin today’s session, I’ve been meaning to take blood samples from you.” Brenner announces as you sit in an uncomfortable chair, the metal entirely different from the plush sofa you usually rest on.

“Blood samples?” You question, and Brenner smiles that same smile he’s shown you since your coma. When you think a little harder about his kindness now, did his show of comfort feel… forced?

“Are you sure she’s ready for that now?” Owens surprises you with his interjection, stepping into view beside you. “Maybe you should give her a little more time with the medication, I’d hate to-”

“Why don’t we ask her how she feels about it?” Brenner suggests, leaning forward to meet your eyes. “We don’t have to do this today. It’s simply to help us monitor if there’s perhaps something a little more medical than amnesia happening.”

More medical than amnesia? You think to yourself, glancing over at the tray of needles. This contrasted the last sessions dramatically. Every nerve in you screamed ‘no’, to refuse their help. But that crippling fear seemed to outweigh it; what if you never remembered?

Maybe this was one of those risks you have to take for the better.

“It’s okay.” You nod, turning to the man beside you. “I’m willing to do whatever.”

You assure the new doctor you’re alright, but his eyes were racked with an emotion you’ve witnessed and felt numerous times. Guilt.

It sends a shock of a memory: holding someone’s hand, tears running down your face, a hospital bed you didn’t occupy. Your sister. Sara. How your heart ached with her absence. How guilty you felt when you assumed your father would replace her. The girl was so sweet, she didn’t deserve your hostility. The girl. Who was she?

Who was she?

A number.

9?

10?

1-

“We must start.” Brenner interrupts, and the memory is fading.

“Wait!” You stand from your seat and Owens pauses with the needle in his hand, waiting. Brenner wasn’t so patient.

“Did you change your mind?” He questions, tilting his head. He had barely moved from his seat, even in recognition to your outburst.

“No, no, I-” You glance between them, scrunching your face. “I remembered something. My sister. I have a sister.”

Brenner seems to be personally interested this time, not a usual trait he displayed. He shifts to sit a little straighter, attempting to fashion it out by placing down his clipboard and nodding.

“What about her do you remember? Anything important?”

“I…” And your voice trails away with the image of a young girl, disappearing. Your next words came out a little defeated, shoulders slumping. “I don’t know.”

“Hm.” Brenner leans back, crossing his legs. “Let’s continue, then.”

You practically deflate back into the chair, staring down at the ground with an unwavering sense of helplessness.

“No.”

Both of your heads whip to where Owens was placing the needle back on the table and shaking his head.

“She’s not ready. We’ll do it tomorrow, let her prepare herself.” He aims his declaration to the man sat in front of you, eyes holding more warning than you had expected.

“But it’s just a blood test.” You say, leaning forward. Neither of them reply. “Right?”

“Perhaps Dr Owens is right.” Brenner eventually says, standing from his chair and peeling his eyes from his colleague. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a familiar phial, the rattling noise echoing in the uncomfortable silence. “We’ll continue this later. Just take your medication for now. Dr Owens and I will confer on what’s next.”

You realise your voice wasn’t to be heard here and allow him to shake out two pills, clutching them in your hand. You held them tightly even as you left the room, weaving back through the hallways to the comforting hue of a furnished room.

Your feet took you to the water bottle on the desk by the door, instinctively raising the pills to your mouth, just like you did after every session. But this time, something makes you pause.

My sister.

You try to focus on the image of your sister, almost forcing yourself to place her features piece by piece. She was the same age Sara would have been. Oh god… Sara. How could you have let yourself forget about her? How did you let yourself forget about anything?

Hopper will be so disappointed when you find him. He taught you better. Whatever caused this amnesia was probably the result of your own stupidity. If he was in your position, he would have left this place already, regardless of memory or not. You knew he would.

So why were you still here?

Maybe you were just afraid there was no one waiting for you on the surface, dead or alive.

The little white pills were long forgotten, discarded on the desk as you trudge your way over to the couch, sinking into it like your forlorn attitude. Your eyes close with the last slip of a tear. Of all the things to forget, why couldn’t it be how awful you felt?

You didn’t realise you had drifted to sleep until the sound of the door shutting echoed through the room. You turn your head to find Owens is stood there, running a hand down his face and clutching a notebook.

“Hello?” You prompt, sitting up.

He turns to you in surprise, your unexpected presence sending a mix of emotions onto his face.

“My apologies.” He says, walking back over to the door. “I didn’t realise you were sleeping.”

“No, it’s okay.” You say, smiling. “I’m not meant to be sleeping in here anyway.”

Rather than respond, he stands awkwardly in front of the door, eyes shifting between his notebook and feet as he decides between staying and leaving. Even though you didn’t know this man, you could tell something was weighing on him, as it was you also.

“Can I ask you a question?”

His eyes dart up in surprise but he nods, clearing his throat “Of course.”

“Why are you here?”

The question lingers, his hardened expression softening into contemplation. It was almost as if he wasn’t certain of his presence here either.

“May I sit?” He asks after a little while and you smile timidly, shuffling further down the couch to make room. When he finally sinks into the cushions, he adapts a more comfortable posture, tilting his head in your direction. “I’m here because Dr Brenner asked me to be.”

“I assume you’re friends?” You ask, fiddling with the sleeves of your hoodie. A nervous habit.

“We’ve known eachother a long time.” He responds, eyes never fully meeting yours. It seemed he was dodging the truthful answer, whatever that may be. “We worked in a lab together a while ago, trying to make a difference. But before we could really do anything, I… I left.”

“Why?”

“My wife.” Owens smiles this time, a fond memory playfully tugging at his lips. He twists the silver ring on his left hand, “She was the most supportive person I knew. She was the reason I really started all of this. High school sweethearts, if you can believe it. We were going to change the world. But she got sick. Cancer. She fought for such a long time… after that, I didn’t have the energy to continue my work.”

“I get it.” You say after some contemplation. He frowns, eyeing you with curiosity. “My sister…”

His eyebrows raise, a stillness to his exterior. You pretended not to notice, pulling back at the sleeves of your hoodie.

“Grief is a very powerful thing.” He says, sighing. “Especially when you believe you have the power to save them. I just… I never had the resources.”

You nod along to his words, an unexpected similarity between you and this man you’ve never met. Just remembering Sara’s face was all your heart needed to start aching. No one really understood that before. Other than Hopper. You never gave him a chance to connect with you over her death. You suppose he didn’t, either.

After a moment, a groan leaves Owens’ mouth and he runs his hands down his face, looking up at the ceiling.

“I wanted to help people.” He admits quietly. “God, it was all I ever wanted. I was ready to find new ways to better the lives of everyone around us, to find cures, to- to discover endless possibilities of the human mind…”

“Did you?”

“In a way.” He sighs, looking at you. “Just not the way I wanted.”

You watch his smile fade into sadness, his eyes drifting to the ground.

“Are you okay?” You ask, shifting to face him on the couch.

“I am.” He states, closing his eyes. “But you aren’t.”

You frown, tilting your head. “What?”

“Brenner isn’t who you think he is.” Owens says solemnly, scared eyes burning fear into yours. “He isn’t trying to help you.”

“I- I don’t understand.”

“You didn’t take the pills, did you?” He glances over at the little white capsules collecting metaphorical dust on the desk. “And now you’re already starting to remember your life.”

Your eyes widen at his implication, turning your head in horror at the ‘medication’ meant to be fixing you.

“Antipsychotics.” Owens answers before you can even ask, tightening his lips. “They’re designed to lessen the effects of extreme psychosis but only in smaller doses. The pills Brenner has administered to you are… they are more than anyone should take, especially those with amnesia. They aren’t curing you, Y/n. They’re making your memory worse.”

“Why would he do that?” You shake your head, unsure who to trust. But this man in front of you had more emotions than Brenner has displayed to you in the past two weeks.

Trust no-one, your dad would say, only trust yourself.

But how could you do that when you quite literally couldn’t remember who you are?

Owens tries to answer when he suddenly looks up at the door, panicked.

“Hide.” He says, gently tugging your arm and ushering you off the sofa and towards the closet.

“Here?” You question, but you make no effort to stop him guiding you over to it.

“Behind here is a vent system. I cut out a panel of the closet so you should be able to access it. It’ll lead you to the other side of the lab- bunker. You need to get through it quickly and pretend like none of this happened. It’s not an escape, but it’ll make it look like you were never in this room, you hear me?”

“What? Why?” You stumble into the wooden structure, turning to catch his arm before he could close the door. There were so many questions you needed to ask, but there would never be enough time to have them answered. “What’s going to happen?”

“Look, kid.” He says almost sadly, a small smile on his lips. “He isn’t who you think he is. I need you to act like everything is okay. Don’t take the pills, radio your friends- I’ve heard them on one of the frequencies before. But, most importantly, don’t let him catch you.”

“Don’t let him catch me.” You repeat, but it wasn’t a question. Don’t let him catch me. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. Protect yourself, protect your friends. You’ll need eachother if you ever want to stop it.”

“Stop what?”

A rushed echo of footsteps can be heard from the other side of the door, pulling away Owens’ attention. Your heart sank. It was too late.

“Room 237. He needs you.” He whispers, grabbing the closet door before you can object. “Now, go. Don’t look back.”

Owens carefully shuts it and plunges you into darkness, only a slither of light peeking between the cupboard doors. You turn around to see exactly what he had described, crouching to carefully remove the cover. It barely made a sound and you sigh in relief just as a louder noise filled the room.

Brenner swung the door open and closed in one swift motion, stepping onto the carpet where he found Owens sat at the couch, skimming through a notebook.

You place a hand inside the vent, testing its structure. Rock solid.

“Did you tell her?” Brenner questions and despite every instruction you were given, you paused.

“Tell her what?” Owens responds with a casual tone. But even you could hear the slight incline in his voice behind the wooden doors, a tell-tale sign he was hiding something.

“Where is she?”

“She hasn’t been here. I’ve been sat here for a while waiting.” He shrugs. “She’s probably wandering about again.”

“Hm.”

Silence. You wince. You couldn’t make an escape if you didn’t have the tone of their voices to distract it.

“I heard the transmissions.” Brenner states lowly. “I know what you’ve done, Sam.”

“I don’t know what you’re-”

“Don’t lie to me!” He suddenly roars, making you flinch. You haven’t ever seen him like this. You weren’t even aware he was capable of it.

“Fine!” Owens yells back, standing from the couch and throwing his notebook onto the cushions. “Fine. I sent out a call for help. She doesn’t deserve to be locked up in here, Martin. None of us do. You’re going too far.”

“Too far? This could be our only saviour.”

“No. It’ll be your saviour.” Owens raises his chin.“You’re the only one that needs this. Let the girl go. I won’t ever speak of this again. I’ll be out of your hair.”

Brenner sighs. He stares at his friend for a moment, something dark lurking behind his eyes.

“You’ve been a good friend to me all these years.” He smiles. It was unsettling this time. Almost like it didn’t belong to him. “I do hope you understand.”

Owens frowns, lips parting to inquire his cryptic words. The question never hit the air.

Brenner pulls out a gun from behind his back and shoots Owens directly in the chest.

Your hands fly to your mouth in a quick motion, suppressing an urge to scream out. You watch Brenner through that tiny little gap, tears pooling in your eyes as the man looks down at his former friend with nothing but disgust.

“We could have changed the world, Sam.” He says as his final farewell.

A twitch of Owens’ hand on the carpet catches your attention. You can just hear the choked gasp of breath leave his mouth in response.

It doesn’t return.

Brenner swiftly pockets his gun again and fishes out a key in his shirt. Without a second glance, he leaves the room, the click of a lock echoing back through.

All you could hear was your thundering heart beat against your eardrums, arms tight around your legs. Brenner just killed him. He killed him. And if he knew what you had just witnessed, he would surely kill you too.

You take another look at Owens’ body, shuddering at the thought of dying the same fate. You shouldn’t leave him like that. What if he was still alive?

Don’t look back, he had said with the last remaining urgency in his soul. He told you to leave. So that’s what you had to do, even if every cell in your body was screeching for you to sit here in a puddle of your tears and wait until someone came to save you. You knew even if you gave in to your fear, no one would come.

So, instead, plant your shaking hands on the cool metal of the vent and climb your way through, choking back the sobs scratching at your throat.

Chapter Twenty-Two: coming soon...

taglist:

@sheisjoeschateau . @kthomps914 . @curled-hair-red-lips . @nix-rose .

@palmtreesx3 . @kryztalglear . @sattlersquarry . @hey-barnes-stole-a-jeep . @sadslasher13 .

@iliveonteaandbooks . @innercreationflower . @newyorkangelbaby . @totally-bogus-timelady . @pansexualhoor .

@kitdjarin1 . @chiliwhore . @carolineesnell .

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

ROUGH Chapter Snippet

I know I said I was on hiatus- but when inspo hits, it hits, and I mean, I've been feeling it lately- so the chapter might come out later this week)) Maybe. I hope you enjoy lol.

Music filled the air as she felt her finger gently glide against the surface of the now glowing water.

 The warmth of the sun and the water filled her, a wonderful change from the dark and dreary world they’d left behind. To say that the whole ordeal had left her in disbelief would be an understatement, but for now, she was alive and that was all that mattered. 

A sudden movement from beside her caught her attention as she watched fish of all shapes happily swim by them. A few even leaped into the air as the drops of shimmering water cascaded behind them. She chuckled, shielding her eyes from the water as Valentino pleated, gesturing his hoof down towards the side where a whale arose. 

“Whoa,” she whispered, catching sight of her reflection in his eyes before he sprayed water into the air and promptly disappeared into the sea once more.

“Valentino did you see that?!” she excitedly called as the goat nodded. “That was a Fin Whale! I didn’t know they swam by here this time of year! I never realized how big they were in person. Did you see how he looked at us? It was like we were ants!!” Valentino pleated, nodding in agreement with her as the castle and several ships came into view.

She could recognize one of the nearer ones as belonging to Silver’s and judging from the sounds of music and chatter that emerged from it, she was willing to bet that she’d been right.

“We’re here,” she told the dolphin-shaped star beneath her, feeling as he obediently began to slow, allowing her to take in the view once more. 

Against the sparkling sea and golden warm hues of the midday sky, there was no denying how beautiful the scene before her was. A beauty that she’d admitted had been hard to spot in the official’s meeting rooms or the dreary stone walls of her study. 

The star beneath her slipped from her grasp, nearly plunging her into the sea once more, before she’d felt hands hold her up, and the star’s smiling face greet her once more.

“Whoa!” she called, surprise filling her as he easily lifted most of her body out of the water. It was so easy to forget how strong he truly was when he wasn’t that much taller than her. 

He chuckled, gently releasing his hold on her, before reaching to pull off a piece of seaweed that had comfortably settled itself across the bridge of his nose. “Ugh,” he groaned, his face twisting in disgust as Asha laughed, taking his hand as he pulled her towards himself. “It seems as if I’m never safe from seaweed, regardless of where I go!” 

“You’ve had previous encounters with it?” she teased, trying to ignore how warm he had felt and how close they were to each other. 

“Far more than I care to remember,” he sighed, his upper half sinking beneath the water as his hair covered his eyes. But that didn’t stop him from turning towards her as he began, “So-,”

“So what?” she repeated, unsure of why she’d felt her heart skip a beat as she felt his hand wrap around her waist.

“Aren’t you going to admit that I was right? I told you that spending the day with me wouldn’t be bad!”

She frowned, quietly cursing how a strange heat had spread across her face. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. Between the discovery of the city and her father’s journals, there was no way she could truthfully say that she was having anything close to what she’d consider a bad day. But that hadn’t meant that she was going to give the already smug-looking star the benefit of knowing he’d been right all along.

So she’d decided to pull a page from the star’s own playbook and quickly change the subject. “Hey Cepheus, you know how you said those buildings in the city were all inspired by star architecture right?”

He nodded, watching as she pointed towards the castle.

“What about the castle? Does it look like it took any inspiration from star architecture?” 

Much to her expectations, the star had shaken his head. “No, no that building is far too young and small for that.”

“Small? I’m sorry- the castle is small to you?”

“In comparison to a star’s castle? Yes. Of course, we have to have different-sized castles to accommodate our true forms, Asha. I doubt a low-ranking member of the court could fit into that castle, much less an alpha star,” he shuddered. “so the ones we have exclusively for stars are far bigger than the ones we build for human visitation and viewing.” 

“You guys let humans visit your palaces?”

He nodded, rising and falling with the tide as he held her. “Yeah. The astronomers who served closely under the alpha stars would frequent there when needed…”

“Were they beautiful?” she implored, looking from him to the sky. “The castles I mean.”

“Very,” he breathed. “And they still are. The alpha stars own several palaces across their domains, but they’re all beautiful.” 

“Have you seen them all?”

“I’ve visited most on occasion,” The alpha stars let star peasants visit their castles on occasion. Hmm, maybe the stars were more progressive than she thought. But then again, she wouldn’t be shocked if the term ‘peasant’ was another thing she could add to her list of interspecies cultural differences. 

“Do you have a particular favorite castle?” she inquired if only to distract herself from her impending questions.

Cepheus hummed thoughtfully as the pinkish-golden hues of his eyes met hers. “Hmm, they’re all beautiful in their own ways, but if I had to pick one, I think I’d give it to the Cerulean court’s castles, or more specifically- the Cygnus castle..”

“The Cygnus castle? Is that in the Cygnus constellation?”

He nodded, a pleasant smile making its way onto his face. “It is. My favorite castle there is the one that sits on the very edge of the domain,” he lifted a hand from the water and pointed to the sky. “You can see the waves from what we call the ocean, gather there. It was a gift from the stars of the sea constellations a few eons back that’s quite sentimental to us,” he sighed, the very edges of his lips quirking upwards in nostalgia. “But It’s always been a very beautiful place to go. Both for its history and its myths.”

“Really? Like what kind of myths?”

“Well…” he started carefully, as he brushed his hair from his eyes. “There’s one that says that if a star wishes to change their fate, they should go and visit those waters…It’s how they believe Deneb, one of the older alpha stars ended up unexpectedly meeting her soul mate when she was promised to another…Personally, I never saw much weight to it…until recently…” 

“Really?” she swam forward, too curious to feel embarrassed as she closed the distance between them even more. “I thought you said you never desired or wanted  for anything more.”

“And I don’t-,” he retorted, evidently not appreciating her question. “I was there for other reasons…sentimental ones if you will, it had nothing to do with what the glowing waters could or couldn’t do for me.”

“Hmm…So, what made you change your mind?” 

His voice trailed off as he turned his gaze upwards into the sky. “Well…I was there right before you wished on me.”

She blinked in surprise. “You were?”

He nodded, this time facing her. “I was.”

“So you think that me wishing on you is an act of fate itself? Really?”

He shrugged, “maybe? But who knows, I didn’t expect anyone to wish on me.” She was silent, as he thoughtfully continued, “One second I was with the others, talking to them, and then the next thing I know, all I can hear is your voice, and it was all that mattered to me in that moment.”

‘Was it?’ she wanted to ask. Of course, it was. He was a wishing star, granting wishes was the sole purpose of his existence, and as soon as he granted her wish he would disappear just as quickly as he came.  That was what she wanted, right? So why had the thought in and of itself, had filled her with an emotion that she couldn’t quite identify? 

She sighed, closing her eyes as she tried to reason. They were from two different worlds. Worlds that by all means were no longer connected. The best they could be was friends. The best she could be to him was a friend, one that she wasn’t sure if he’d remember in a few more years, regardless of- “BAAAAA-,’ screeched Valentino as he leaped into her arms and nearly on top of her.

“Valentino?!” she exclaimed as the star let her go. “What’s gotten into you?!”

The goat pleated before gesturing towards an incoming fin that was rapidly headed straight towards them.

“Shark,” Asha said, her brain barely comprehending what she’d seen until it neared.  “SHARK!?” she screamed, swimming backward.

“Where?” Cepheus asked, turning towards the direction of the incoming shark as it lifted its head out of the water. No sooner had the shark’s eyes met his than she saw the shark come to an abrupt halt before quickly taking off in the direction that it had quickly come from.

Had he-...A shark?!

She exchanged glances with Valentino, who was just as stunned as she was before the star turned back to her, smiling innocently as he’d proudly declared, “Apex Predator.”

“Hahahahahaha!” she erupted into laughter, feeling her stomach hurt as the star neared her, joining in her laughter as well. In all her years at the sea, she’d never seen a shark swim so fast, not even from whales or dolphins that had threatened to kill it. Tears welled in her eyes, as she wrapped her arms around the star. 

Had she not been laughing so hard, perhaps she would’ve noticed that the trio was no longer alone. But unfortunately for her, her discovery would come in the form of a familiar voice cut through the echoes of her laughter, “Asha-,” 

Wait.

Her laughter was cut short as she spun around, facing the familiar sight of Silver’s ship mere yards behind them. The captain stood overhead with the eyes of his prying crew and friends, all looking down to observe the trio as she saw her grandfather frown.

“Asha,” he spoke again.

“Saba?!” she screeched, shoving herself off of Cepheus. How had she not noticed the ship approaching?! Had she been so distracted by the star that-

No. What was she saying?! She couldn’t be distracted by Cepheus he wasn’t even in his star form!

“Saba I can explain, I swear-,” she cried as the sounds of the sailor’s laughter filled her ears. Oh God, how was she going to explain this?!

Her grandfather shook his head, sighing, as Capella pleated from his side, “Yep…my bloodline is doomed….”

[alizha]

𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒃𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒔 | 𝑹𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒏 𝒙 𝑻𝒂𝒗 | 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝟏

Rating: M Word Count: 5.9k Tags: female bard tav, tav is not described, angst, sibling relationships, sexual tension, kissing, neck kissing, references to canon-typical violence

Summary: Rolan has only ever had Cal and Lia. They insist he’s family, but he doesn’t even need that. He’s never needed or wanted anything more.

next chapter | masterlist | cross posted to ao3

Rolan’s words are harsh, he knows that. But the truth is that they’re simply an island of three amongst the sea of other refugees. Just because they’re all on the same exodus from Elturel doesn’t mean he feels any camaraderie with anyone outside his small circle.

The infernal orange ring of Lia’s irises flare. She can’t be reasoned with when she’s like this, and Rolan should know. Still, he plants himself steadfastly across from her. If she wants to be stubborn, he can easily rise to the challenge.

There’s no basis of evidence for his true age, but when they were all small, Rolan felt like he was younger than Cal and Lia. He remembers being a gangly, uncertain child. It was them who led him by the hand out of his own self-imposed walls back then. Of course, he’s never stopped following them, but it’s more out of a sense of responsibility now.

Which is why he refuses to risk their lives for the sake of a group of people he never wanted to join in the first place. Zevlor’s people are slow, a hindrance. And most of all, Rolan doesn’t know them. Lia is petulant if she thinks raising her voice at him and calling them ‘kin’ is going to change his mind.

“You only care about your apprenticeship!” she says.

Those words are the ones that finally cut deep. Rolan sputters, nearly losing his hold entirely on the calm demeanour he’s managed to cling to thus far.

“Take that back!”

“These people aren’t fighters! We should help!” she barks.

Cal, ever the voice of reason when tempers blaze too hot, tries to step in. Even he can’t quell Lia today.

“I don’t mean to intrude,” starts an unfamiliar voice.

The woman it belongs to has edged close to them, leaning in curiously with her arms tucked across her chest. Undoubtedly, she’s one of the adventurers who helped dispatch the goblin raiders outside the gate, but that notion seems a little ridiculous now that Rolan’s looking at her up close.

A lute hangs by a strap on her back, still wrapped in traces of Weave, marking her as a bard. She doesn’t look particularly strong or intimidating, especially in the bright colours and whimsical patterns of her jerkin. This is what passes for an adventurer?

“But you are intruding,” Rolan says acridly.

Lia turns her gaze furiously back to him. The woman tries to hide an amused grin. Badly. It strikes him in a way he doesn’t expect. A feeling like irritation sparks in his stomach.

“You should all stay,” she says. “Who knows? A single blade could make a difference.”

“Thank you!” Lia says, throwing her hands up. “You see? We have to stay. It’s the right thing to do.”

“She’s right, Rolan. We’re better than this,” Cal says.

With that, Rolan feels the situation has suddenly careened too far out of his control, and all because of a few words from this intruder. He tries mentally to renew his grasp on the thread of his argument, but he’s sick of fighting. And no matter what, he will not lose his composure in front of an outsider.

“Zurgan,” he mutters. “Fine. I’ll stay, too. Lest the both of you end up with your throats slit by a goblin blade.”

“Thank you, Rolan!” Lia beams, though not at him—at the bard. “You’re the one who tangled with those goblins, aren’t you?”

Personally, Rolan has no interest in where this conversation is headed next. He uses the last of his energy to stop himself rolling his eyes as he turns and heads back into the hollow.

❖ ❖ ❖

Her name is Tav. It was the last thing his ears caught as he left Cal and Lia with the errant adventurer the previous day. Not that he was trying to catch it. She had intruded on their conversation, plain and simple, much in the same way she was now intruding on Rolan’s peace.

Cal and Lia had insisted they were going to make themselves useful that morning, and apparently that meant ingratiating themselves with the guards at the top of the gate. Rolan prefers to keep them both in his line of sight to make sure they don’t get into trouble. Or cause it. In that spirit, he sticks to the secluded area on the periphery of the gate so he can keep an eye on them while he practises his magic.

Throwing himself in his studies has always been his refuge. Withdrawing into his magic feels natural, even when being a part of a family doesn’t. He remembers running away to their shared room and slamming the door whenever everything became too much or too loud and disappearing into a book until his frayed nerves recovered.

Instinctively, Rolan shuts his eyes and reaches into the Weave, its warmth rushing to envelop him. Two decades of training, and the sensation never changes. It’s reminiscent of an embrace, all-encompassing acceptance—the kind that doesn’t wink out of existence when he doesn’t feel worthy of it. Because this is something he’s earned after years of learning everything he can about magic on his own.

And then, Tav had shown up, flanked with the same followers she’d been running around the grove with yesterday. A gith, a half-elf in Sharran armour, and an elf with a smile more pointed and dangerous than the daggers on his belt. They are decidedly more formidable-looking than their bard.

She greets his siblings like they’re already friends, and that is enough to poke holes in Rolan’s focus. He tries to firm his concentration, but the sound of their laughter shreds it to pieces. Tav’s laugh is clear as a bell, with a quality to it that begs everyone around her to give her a reason, another opportunity to hear it again.

The image of her thinly-veiled grin sticks in his mind, and that’s the last straw. Rolan releases the last dregs of his focus, letting the curling tendrils of Weave surrounding him to furl in on themselves and evaporate with a sigh. Gods, he misses the peaceful quiet of his room in Westerly and the wingback armchair by the window he liked to curl up in with the spires of High District soaring in the distance.

“Hello,” Tav says, suddenly appearing at his side.

He tenses. “What do you want?”

“To say ‘hello’,” she says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Bad day?”

The inane question grates at him. Rolan doesn’t understand how she can’t see that he’s sequestered himself by design—to be left alone.

“We should have left by now,” he says bitterly.

“This again?”

“Yes,” he snaps. “Instead, because of you, we’re just sitting here, practically begging to be attacked.”

Rolan’s not entirely sure what possesses him to lay the entire blame on her, but it feels right in the moment. And perhaps, he would regret it if not for the self-satisfied look that settles over her countenance.

“Leave on your own, then,” she says, shrugging. “If you’re so impatient.”

It’s a transparent attempt to call him on his bluff, but it’s an effective one.

“That is tempting,” he admits, “but I could never leave Cal and Lia behind.”

Tav’s face softens at his words. The shift in her expression is subtle. Rolan feels something twist in his belly in response that he finds utterly confounding.

“What?” he demands, frowning.

She presses her lips together and shakes her head. “Nothing.”

Before he can (rightly) call her a liar, her half-elf friend calls her name and waves her back over.

“See you around,” Tav says with one last momentary glance before striding back up the path, gone as quickly as she appeared.

Rolan watches her reunite with her companions and head together further into the grove. It’s only after they disappear from view that he realises he feels warmer than he’d been while wrapped in the Weave.

❖ ❖ ❖

The sting of steel pulls a gasp from Rolan’s lips. He lifts his finger to his mouth to swipe his tongue against the bead of red forming from his cut. Thankfully, it’s not deep.

“You’ve been distracted,” Cal remarks. His own handiwork with a blade has already produced a small pile of skinned rabbits, whereas Rolan has only managed a few measly carrots. He’s used to helping out in the kitchen but never been as skilled with a knife.

When Okta enlisted their help with the stew today, he’d hoped it would prove a good way to get his mind off things. Things, specifically, like the sound of Tav’s laugh and the soft, hazy glow that formed around her whenever she stepped into the columns of sunlight pouring into the hollow through cracks and openings in the stone canopy.

“Away with you!” the old woman says, snatching his knife and shooing him from his station toward a basin. “Away until you’ve washed your hands!”

Rolan grumbles a little but does as he’s told. Okta is meddlesome and a busybody, but she’s shown the three of them an abundance of kindness, always making sure they’ve had their fill of gruel or watered-down stew. He plunges his hands into the basin and lets his chin fall to his chest.

“Been a few days since those adventurers came around,” Cal says pensively. “Wonder what they’ve been up to.”

It’s true that Tav and her friends haven’t shown their faces in a while. Not even to sell off their rubbish.

“If they really did go to deal with the goblins like they said, they’re probably dead,” Rolan says.

“Don’t be morbid,” Cal says. He pauses, then, “What do you mean ‘if’?”

Rolan lifts his head to send his adopted brother a look of disdain. “Did you really think they were going to traipse into a goblin camp for the sake of some unfortunate refugees?”

“You don’t trust them?”

It’s a far sight easier to believe they had never intended to help them than to imagine them falling short. Just like with the druids.

“About as far as I can throw them,” he says.

❖ ❖ ❖

When the news comes that the goblins’ leaders have been defeated, Rolan’s pride tempers his giddiness. They can finally leave and resume the journey to Baldur’s Gate, to their futures.

“They did it! They really did it!” Lia says.

“I knew they would,” Cal says, giving Rolan a knowing look he’s seen too many times before.

Rolan scoffs, feigning disinterest. “Let’s just get on with it. I don’t want to spend one more second longer here than we have to.”

His wish to get back on the road immediately is promptly delayed by the suggestion of a party. A final celebration at the adventurers’ camp of their victory before parting ways. Rolan can’t think of a worse idea.

The druids keep a rustic domicile within the Emerald Grove—a grand name for what essentially boils down to a smelly cave. There’s no separate shelter for the oxen. They’ve simply buffered a small space to keep them while staying there, along with their troughs and hay.

Rolan’s robes are no doubt saturated with the odour by now. The thought of attending a party wearing them, much less showing up in Baldur’s Gate to meet Lorroakan, is difficult to swallow. He contemplates washing them in the river, but everything that goes in the water tends to come out with a thin film of slippery grime that clings to the skin unpleasantly.

Not long after the scouts break the news, Tav and her companions show up at the grove. Rolan tries to appear as unaffected as possible as they speak to Zevlor, but he’s purposefully peering through the crowd for a better look.

They look a little ragged under all the sweat and goblin viscera. Even Tav’s brightly coloured jerkin is stained with drying spatters of scarlet. Maybe Rolan doesn’t have so much to worry about fragrance-wise after all.

The moment they finish their conversation with Zevlor and start moving, Rolan looks for anything else to turn his attention to. What he lands on is rifling through his pack to look busy, but there’s barely anything in it except for a waterskin, an apple, and a few crumpled letters. Tav takes her time talking to each of the refugees she’s apparently become acquainted with while he feels stupider each second he spends pretending to search for something that doesn’t exist.

It’s not even been a tenday, and Tav seems to have spoken to more of the other refugees than Rolan’s ever had since they set off from Elturel. He realises, perhaps for the first time, that he never tried to get to know any of them because he didn’t see the point. There’s never really a point. It’ll always be him, alone, trailing after Cal and Lia—just like it was when they were children.

His hands still. Maybe that was why Tav inspired such a feeling of hostility inside him. Left him all twisted up and warm. She was like a foreign object wedging its way between them.

He shakes the thought from his head. It was completely irrational, he recognises that.

“Rolan,”

Cal gently knocks the toe of his boot against his. He looks up to find Tav has finally made her way over to them. She flashes him a brilliant smile.

“Took care of those goblins for you,” she says.

Ah, she means it as a jest. Rolan straightens and arches an eyebrow at her.

“For me? Really?” he says sceptically. “I nearly dispatched them myself, but you seem to have managed well enough.”

“‘Well enough’, is it?” Tav echoes teasingly.

“Yes. Why wield a masterwork where a butcher’s blade will do?” He eyes the bloodied rapier at her hip.

“Is that what passes as gratitude in Elturel?” she says, patting the handle of her weapon nonchalantly.

“Certainly not,” Cal says with a pointed look at Rolan. “Come off it, Rolan. You really think you could have Thunderwaved every goblin in that camp alone? Thank the nice lady for saving our skins.”

It’s almost worse that she tries to fight against the smirk threatening to burst across her face. Rolan scowls at Tav, at the locks of hair plastered to her forehead and the flush lingering in her cheeks from the heat of battle, and swallows.

“Thank you, truly,” he says stiffly.

❖ ❖ ❖

“You like her,” Cal says, seemingly out of nowhere.

Rolan nearly drops his end of the barrel they’re in the middle of lugging over to the ox cart.

“What?” he hisses.

“Tav. You like her.”

The repeat of his words makes Rolan cringe, even though he brought them on himself.

“It’s just like Zephirine all over again,” Cal goes on. “Your ears got all red.”

“‘Cept he made Zephi cry,” Lia says, the venom in her voice a little thin if only due to the distance of years since the particular event she’s referring to. Rolan can’t imagine Tav bursting into tears because of something he says anytime soon.

“If you’re not careful, she’ll think you’re a prick.”

“You make it sound like he still has a chance,” Cal says with a lighthearted laugh.

They pause at the back of the cart as Lia joins in on the chuckling. Rolan knows they aren’t trying to be mean, but wants to fold in on himself anyway. Together, he and Cal swing the barrel up onto the cart.

❖ ❖ ❖

Hells. Cal was right.

Rolan loathes admitting these kinds of things to himself, hates the futility of it. He’s always rejected distractions to his singular focus of achieving power. The kind of power that meant the three of them would never have to lose their home again.

It takes a glass or two of cheap wine for the merriment of the celebration to smooth the edges of his discomfort. At least, Cal and Lia don’t leave his side, swaying to the music with big goofy smiles on their faces. Seeing them happy gives him permission to relax.

Cheers erupt amongst the dancers, drawing Rolan’s attention to the centre of the camp. Alfira is sidling up to Tav, nudging her not-so-subtly as she continues to strum her lute. Tav makes a show of rolling her eyes, but her enthusiasm is plain as day. As she reaches for her own instrument, the crowd cheers again.

She falls into Alfira’s lively tune easily, bouncing back and forth with the beat. The fire throws warm light across her face, sparks and embers twirling with the movement of the dancers. Tav spins theatrically, drawing hoots from onlookers—she’s a natural entertainer, glowing in the attention.

Rolan tears his gaze away and closes his eyes, letting the phosphenes from the fire fade away into black. He is certain Tav is a puzzle, and anyone who wants to be with her has to fit neatly into her and her life. Much like himself. Futility. Coming to terms with that makes it a whole lot easier for Rolan to put Tav out of his mind.

“Didn’t you say you were going to put on your little show?” Cal says, slightly winded as he drops to a seat on one of the rocks nearby.

“Fireworks!” Lia exclaims, knocking into Cal. She looks up at Rolan eagerly. “We finally get to see the fireworks! Well, come on, then!”

She and Cal lean forward on their knees. The ale has turned her cheeks an even rosier shade of red than usual. ‘Fireworks’ is a bit of a stretch for a minor prestidigitation spell, but he’s inclined to humour them.

“Patience,” Rolan says, feeling his confidence reemerge. He wags a finger at them. “Have you no respect for showmanship?”

Stretching out his arms, Rolan dips back into the Weave. His self-assurance swells as he feels its warmth surround him. A pleasant shiver runs up his spine.

“Having performance issues, Rolan?” Cal loudly whispers.

Lia smacks Cal in the shoulder. They’re even more obnoxious when they’ve been drinking, but Rolan’s mood is quickly improving. He shoots them each nothing more than an unamused look.

“Hush,” he scolds them.

Drawing from the well of the Weave’s power, Rolan concentrates his magic at his fingertips and makes a grand sweeping gesture as a brilliant light flashes above them, white at its centre and fracturing into iridescent colour around the edges. It evanesces into residual sparks around them before fading completely.

“Remember when he could barely cast that?” Lia says, elbowing her brother.

Cal grins. “They grow up so fast.”

Rolan shakes his head, though he can’t help but chuckle a little. The sound of clapping interrupts him. Alfira and Tav have brought their duet to a ringing end, it seems.

“They’re good, aren’t they?” Lia says, twisted in her seat to look over at them.

Tav is reluctantly putting down her lute, clearly determined not to take up any more of Alfira’s stage. She waves off requests for an encore with a sheepish grin and tucks a lock of her hair behind one ear. When she looks up and catches Rolan’s gaze with hers, her lips curve into a small smile. His chest nearly bursts.

“Pass the wine,” he tells Lia, turning away.

❖ ❖ ❖

“I saw your spell,” Tav says by way of greeting once she finally tears herself away from a conversation with her elf companion.

She saunters over to his side, a goblet of wine in her hand. Cal and Lia immediately begin whispering to each other as if he can’t hear them.

“Very impressive.”

“Come to offer your adoration?” Rolan says, opting to ignore obvious gossip. He’s had a couple more cups by this point, and it’s so much easier to do so. “You’re too kind.”

Tav looks a little surprised. “You’re certainly more at ease.”

“Might have something to do with not having to worry about goblins anymore,” he tells her.

She hums in agreement and takes a long sip of her wine. When she pulls the goblet away, it leaves a drop of the deep ruby liquid on her bottom lip. Rolan actively fights against the urge to reach up to wipe it away with his thumb. That would be a wildly inappropriate and intimate gesture, he reminds himself.

Her tongue darts out to swipe at the droplet. It’s a quick motion, but just a hint of the pink tip suddenly makes his pulse accelerate. Even though Rolan hastily averts his eyes, Tav seems to have noticed him looking and grins.

“I’m glad it worked out. You risked a lot to stay. I don’t know what I would have done if anything happened to you or your siblings,” she says.

It’s his turn to be surprised. He hadn’t expected sincerity, hadn’t known she was capable of it.

“Of course, that probably would have meant I was dead. So, you know. Hypothetically,” she says with a weak laugh.

She drops her gaze to the reflection of stars in her cup, and Rolan recognises an attempt at walking back a moment of candour when he sees one. They had stayed, and it had been because of something she said. Of course, she would bear the heavy weight of responsibility if it had ended badly.

Impulsively, Rolan thrusts his own drink out in front of him and takes a deep breath. “Well, here’s to it all working out,” he says a little too quickly so that his words all jumble together slightly.

It manages to pull a laugh out of her. Soft, but still clear and bell-like. The sound tugs at something in his chest, beckoning. His mind scrambles, unbidden, to try to think of anything to say that might get her to laugh again in the future.

“To it all working out,” she agrees, gently clinking her cup into his.

❖ ❖ ❖

He was awash with a spell that night. One made of the taste of dry wine and the crackle of the fire and the tantalising prospect of a singular chance.

They are bound for different paths, ones that he can’t know for sure will ever cross again. And even if they did, Rolan won’t fold into her life neatly, and she won’t fold into his. It’s simply how they operate.

But they have this one night, and one thing Tav seems to know how to do is take a chance. She reappears several more times between making the rounds with everyone at the party, bringing offers of coy looks and fleeting touches. Rolan isn’t so clueless as to not recognise how women like her behave when they want something.

So, what stops him? He tries to parse the answer to that question for far longer than he’d be willing to admit.

It’s not just one thing. It’s the thought of leaving Cal and Lia alone, of the inevitable mess of rolling around with her in the dirt. The tenderness in Tav’s eyes when she speaks in hushed tones with her wizard companion. The burning embarrassment of the fiasco that was his first kiss. The smell of ox lingering in his robes.

In the end, he lets the opportunity slip through his fingers, and it feels easy. It’s almost liberating.

“Think we’ll see them again in Baldur’s Gate?” Cal asks, taking one last glance behind them as they leave the adventurers’ camp in the wee hours.

“Maybe. It’s a big city,” Rolan says unaffectedly. He doesn’t look back.

❖ ❖ ❖

It takes three people in total to drag him away from the site of the ambush. Adrenaline pumps through his veins. Rolan screams at them to let him go after Cal and Lia until his throat is sore.

The snivelling of the children chafes at his already fragile sense, rubbing his nerves raw. It’s unbearably cold, even when he touches the Weave—as if even Mystra’s reach cannot fully penetrate the shadows. Shadows that have buried deep, into regions of his chest reserved for himself and his magic.

They’ve never been apart, the three of them. Not like this. Rolan’s island shrinks in on himself.

It feels like the shadows have gripped him and refuse to let go. Rolan plants himself at the bar inside Last Light Inn and drowns himself in Arabellan Dry so he can stop replaying the way Cal and Lia threw themselves at the cultists in his head.

The others call him a mess. Rolan shoots nasty glares at them. He’s drunk, not deaf.

❖ ❖ ❖

“You look awful.” She says it like she can’t help herself, teasing and a bit regretful. Rolan feels the undeniable need to cut her down to size bubble up his throat like bile.

“Stick your nose in someone else’s business this time,” he spits at her over his cup. “Haven’t you done enough to my family?”

Tav’s face falls, but she clings to her sad smile. It makes him want to shove at her and run away. Unfortunately, this is the only place the alcohol is kept.

“Alfira told me what happened,” she says. “She said you stepped in and protected everyone.”

Rolan scoffs and turns away, sagging over the bar. “Cute. And while I did, Cal and Lia were dragged away screaming. Maybe you two can write a ballad about that.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to them, but—,”

“You should be sorry. It was you who convinced them to play hero, and now they’re gone.”

He’s done it again. Laid the blame at her feet. This time, for some reason, it doesn’t feel as gratifying.

“I’m going to get them back, Rolan,” she says.

There’s not so much as a shake to her voice. Her words are quiet but confident. The desire to steal even a fraction of her audacity threads through his being. Rolan whirls around to face her again. His head swims.

“They’re my responsibility. Leave me and my family alone.” He laces the command with acid and revels in the way she flinches in response.

She seems like she wants to say something else. The glint in her eye carries a suggestion of worry. Or pity. For her sake, Rolan hopes she keeps it to herself.

“Fine,” she says finally, as if sensing his silent warning. It’s the last word she says before making herself scarce.

❖ ❖ ❖

He might have still been a little inebriated when he slipped out of Last Light, but the shadows quickly chase the last of the haziness away. This isn’t the worst thing he’s been through, Rolan tells himself. And if anyone is going to rescue Cal and Lia, it’ll be him.

He’s not doing this out of a misplaced sense of pride. Certainly, this has nothing to do with the way he very confidently told Tav off and declared that this was his responsibility.

Certainly not.

Even when he’s alone, Rolan still finds himself trailing after his siblings. There’s probably some irony in that he’s currently failing to identify. The hem of his robes routinely catch on dead branches that reach out of the darkness like gnarled fingers. He’d be more worried about potentially showing up to his apprenticeship in this state under different circumstances.

There are shapes moving in the dark that make him question the integrity of his darkvision. Rolan moves with purpose through the winding cobblestone paths, gripping the torch in his hand so hard his nails dig painfully into the palm of his hand. The skin on the back of his neck prickles.

Clumsily, he climbs over the edge of a broken bridge and down the splintered fragments of road leading south. At least, he thinks it’s south. Lia was always the better tracker.

He can’t pinpoint exactly when he becomes aware he’s being stalked. All Rolan knows is that there’s nowhere to hide, no reprieve from the shadows this far from Last Light. And the deeper he goes, the darker the shadows will become. The best he can hope for now is a good spot to make a last stand.

❖ ❖ ❖

All this time, and he’s never seen Tav in action before now. She commands the fight just as well as she commands an audience—that is to say, better than Rolan ever expected.

He can’t believe he ever thought she wasn't intimidating. Thousands of hours with his nose buried in books, and he isn’t sure he could even match the vastness of her magic. How does a bard access the Weave with the consummate ease of a wizard?

It’s neither the time nor the place, but as Rolan watches her send down a blast of light that disintegrates the final shadow creature, he recalls the words of praise she offered him about his magic trick at the party. Had she only been humouring him? The idea eats away at him like acid, and when Tav turns to him, glorious with her hair wild and chest heaving, he fixes her with a look of pure vitriol.

“Godsdamn it all!” he shouts. It feels good to shout. Cathartic. Even though his throat is still a little sore. “Not you again! Anyone but you!”

“Tymora’s tits, Rolan! I can’t believe you would do something so stupid!”

Tav matches his tone, apparently forgetting all about her companions watching on awkwardly behind her as she storms at him.

“You're going to get yourself killed, you fucking arsehole!”

Her hands are on the ornate silver plate stretching across his chest and shoving him. It’s not a forceful shove—Rolan imagines he’d receive more than a few bruises if the barbarian at her back was the one doing this—but he’s also not expecting it. His back hits the rocky outcrop behind him with a soft thud.

“You’re supposed to be at Last Light!”

Tav raises one arm up to furiously swipe at her reddening face with her sleeve. The edges of Rolan’s vision turn white. She doesn’t get to do this.

“I’m supposed to be saving Cal and Lia!” he barks back at her. “Instead, I found myself cornered by shadow fiends and in need of rescue! From you, of all bloody people.”

He can hear the way his tone veers toward condescension. It’s a bluff of the highest order. She could probably strike him down before he even gets out the incantation for Magic Missile. But falling back on arrogance is his last defence against the slip of her mask threatening to tug at his heartstrings.

“Was I supposed to just let you die?” Tav says with a sneer.

“Alright, soldier,” her tiefling companion says, drawing her back gently by the shoulder. “I think he gets the picture, don’t you Rolan?”

His muscles hurt from tensing. Rolan forces himself to draw in a deep breath of cold, stale air.

“I know when I’m outmatched,” he says, defeated.

They let him go off on his own and return to Last Light. He’s surprised they’d even trust him to do that right.

❖ ❖ ❖

The pain is almost too much to bear, but Rolan doesn’t want to so much as look at another bottle of wine. Not after he spends a good hour retching over the side of the docks behind the inn. It feels deserved anyway.

He doesn’t understand how no one else seems to be going insane at quite the same rate as him in this godsforsaken place. The constant darkness is draining, an eerie echo of the day when the eternal light of the Companion was snuffed out. It almost feels like they’re about to be swallowed up into Avernus again.

The lack of day and night distinction makes it difficult to determine just how much time passes as Rolan sits and waits. He doesn’t even know if he’s waiting for Cal and Lia to be saved or for Tav to return with unsavoury news, if she comes back at all this time.

Nothing exists beyond the borders of the shadow-cursed lands. Rolan can’t even fathom making it out of here alive, let alone making it to Baldur’s Gate alone. He slumps over a table, resisting the urge to slam his head down on the wood, and rests his cheek against his stacked hands.

Someone calls his name. The voice sounds muffled with his ear pressed against his arm, but Rolan would recognise it anywhere.

“Lia?” he croaks, lifting his head.

It’s them. It’s really them. Cal, Lia, his family. Rolan is on his feet, but they refuse to move.

“We’re back,” Cal says, closing the distance between them because he can’t seem to.

“That’s all you have to say?” Rolan says, angling his body away from them coldly. “While you two were Torm knows where, I was out there battling the wretched darkness. What were you thinking?”

Recently rescued prisoner or no, Lia’s fiery temper remains entirely unaffected. Her nostrils flair. “Oh, I’m sorry we got captured by murderous lunatics,” she snaps.

“I thought you were dead, you ass!” Rolan fires back. “Both of you!”

“We’re all safe!” Cal says, scrambling to physically place himself between them before Lia can get in his face. “That’s all that matters.”

It’s like a dam breaks inside him. Rolan has no choice but to surrender to the wave of emotion crashing down on him. His eyes sting.

“I thought my whole family was dead,” he says, voice breaking.

Lia visibly deflates. “I’m sorry,” she says, sincerely this time. “We should have been here.”

“No—no, it’s not your fault,” Rolan says as Cal claps a hand over his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have shouted. I’m sorry.”

“You two are idiots,” Cal says affectionately.

Rolan exchanges amused glances with Lia and lets the corners of his mouth lift into a small smile.

“Troglodytes, the both of you.”

❖ ❖ ❖

He’s not sure why he’s hiding. It’s humiliating, the way Rolan presses himself against the wall of the upstairs landing.

The adventurers have returned and are sitting around the fire at the centre of the main hall. From what he can hear, they’ve worked out a portion of how to break the shadow curse. The sound of Tav’s tired voice pins him to the spot like a spell.

Rolan peers through the railing down at them, stomach churning. They all look… rough. The Sharran cleric (Shadowheart?) is cradling her head in her hands, slouched forward in her seat on her elbows. Karlach is crumpled in the barstool next to her, and Tav’s being held up in her chair partially by Wyll’s arm slung around her shoulders.

“Who’re you spying on?”

Cal’s whisper comes from way too close to his ear. Rolan reels, cringing, and rubs his ear frantically.

“Ah, they’re back. Need to properly thank them for what they did at Moonrise,” Cal says, getting up from his crouched position beside him.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Rolan says, heart still pounding.

“What are you sods doing skulking about up here? Come on,” Lia says, emerging from the door to her room.

Rolan accepts the hand Cal offers him with a sigh and follows them stiffly down the stairs to the common area of the inn. A few pairs of eyes glance up at them as they enter. Tav’s are noticeably not among them.

“I’m going to get some air,” Rolan mutters to his siblings. As if there’s any to be had in this hellhole.

He keeps his head down and scuttles toward the exit before Cal or Lia can protest. The moment his foot touches the eerie moon-like light cast from the Selûnite shield, he feels a short tug on his sleeve and freezes. Rolan knows who it is before she even starts speaking.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

It takes him a moment to steel himself before he can face her. “Thank you,” he says. “Thank you for bringing my family back to me.”

The expression on her face is unreadable, but the dark circles under her eyes jump out at him.

“And?” she says.

He shifts his glance briefly back up toward Cal and Lia, hoping they might sense his desire for a well-timed intervention. No such luck.

“And…,” he pauses and bites back a groan, “I’ve lashed out at you, drunkenly and otherwise, and you helped anyway. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”

Rolan expects her to look at least a little satisfied—it was rather a good apology. Instead, her brows knit in disappointment.

“Hells, humble Rolan is a bit uncanny. I think I like you better when you’re being pretentious,” Tav says, plush lips quirked into a lopsided grin.

He’d almost forgotten after everything that she is still the same meddlesome, needling bard he met in the grove.

“Are-are you being serious right now? I mean, do you never drop the glib bard act?”

Tav the adventurer. Tav the bard. Tav the fighter, the saviour, the flirt. Rolan grasps at aspects of her of his own making, trying to find the one that comes closest to the truth, but it’s like trying to catch smoke.

“I’m sorry,” she says with what seems like genuine remorse behind her weak smile. “I’ve been dealing with a lot, mostly unhealthily. With a lot of alcohol and humour. I suppose I’ve gone a bit mad.”

The air seems suddenly sucked out of his lungs. Rolan doesn’t often find himself at a loss for words. He’d heard from around the inn, of course, about the illithid affliction plaguing Tav and all her companions.

“Oy! Get a room, why don’t you?” Karlach calls, waving at them.

Startled, Tav spins and shoots her friend a rude gesture. The others hoot and laugh around her. Rolan’s cheeks heat uncomfortably.

“Your friends seem reenergized,” he says flatly.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” she asks him.

He very nearly stammers out some nonsense answer before she quickly clarifies.

“I’m just talking about a walk around the inn, Rolan.”

“Ah, yes.” He feels a bit foolish. “Of course.”

❖ ❖ ❖

“I’ve never had the pleasure of travelling through Elturel. Been all up and down the Sword Coast but never that far east.”

Tav finds ways to fill the silence that seem to come so enviably natural to her. She makes Rolan feel like an awkward lanky youth again, stumbling over his words and his steps, not quite yet grown into his frame. They skirt the perimeter of the dark water, past the boat Cal had told him he and the other prisoners used to escape Moonrise.

“Trust me, you’re not missing much,” Rolan tells her, toeing a bit of gravel over the edge of the dock. “I’m sure Baldur’s Gate is a comparable city to Elturel.”

“You’ll soon see for yourself. When you finally make it to your apprenticeship,” she says.

“You’re very confident we’re making it out of here.”

That pulls one of her addictive laughs from her. “I have to be. I don’t know what the alternative would look like.”

Of course, that makes sense. Rolan hadn’t even been able to form a loose idea of what he might do with his life if he’d really lost Cal and Lia. He chances a glance at her at his side watches her pensively as they stop at the edge of the Moonshield. Beyond, there's a bridge that extends over a narrow in the water.

He can’t help but wonder what they’re doing out here. If Tav had seemed somewhat out of reach before, she might as well be untouchable now. She spends all her time with Karlach, the Blade of Frontiers, bloody Gale of Waterdeep. It feels as though it should be one of them standing here beside her.

Besides, he doesn’t want her. He’s come to respect her. Perhaps, that came a little late. But he does not want her. Rolan has his family to think about, a path already set before him, a future as an Archmage with his own tower someday. That sort of thing doesn’t fit neatly into the life of an adventurer, and he can’t imagine she’d want to be tied down either.

So then, this must be some sort of fling for her. A passing fancy. Tav is saying something, but Rolan had been too preoccupied with his own thoughts and missed most of the first part. Something having to do with the Underdark and a bulette—he doesn’t really care. He turns to her abruptly and cuts her off.

“What is it you want from me?”

His question gives her pause, and he can practically hear Lia’s voice in his head. If you’re not careful, she’ll think you’re a prick. He can’t help it. It’s just always what he’s done to anyone who’s tried to get too close, for good or for ill.

“Nothing.” She says it cheekily, as if trying to elicit a reaction. It succeeds.

“Liar,” he tells her in a low voice.

Her tongue flickers out over her lip. “Yes,” she says simply. “Maybe I just want you to yell at me a little more.”

“Don’t jest. You might not want to think about it, but you could die soon. Or worse.”

“That could be. But to be honest, I’ve always believed fortune favours the bold,” she says with a shrug.

Bloody follower of Tymora. He’s certain he’s heard her invoke the Smiling Lady’s name before. Leaving so much in the hands of his goddess isn’t something Rolan is in the habit of. He clenches his jaw, transfixed by the self-assured expression Tav wears so well.

“You’re not just Lady Luck in disguise, are you?” he says, narrowing his eyes at her. “Here to tempt me and move on to the next shiny toy?”

She gives a decidedly unladylike snort at that. “I feel rather strongly that gods ought to avoid relationships with mortals at all costs. But more importantly, is that really what you think my dastardly plan is?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know you, and frankly, you don’t know me,” Rolan says, aware of the frustration edging its way into his voice.

Tav chews the inside of her lip, scrutinising him. “Alright, Rolan. I can take a hint. No hard feelings.”

She moves to leave, and Rolan feels a jolt through his chest. This is what he wanted, and Tav isn’t as much of a fool as he likes to think she is. She can see the walls he builds around himself brick by brick meant to keep people like her at arm’s length.

Rolan has no clue what compels him to snatch her hand into his. The leather of her glove is worn, stopping at the second knuckle and giving way to callouses at her fingertips from years of playing the lute. Even just that slightest contact of bare skin against skin sends electricity sparking along his veins.

Sod it all. He has the fleeting thought that if she manages to ruin him like this, then so be it. His name tumbles like a question from her lips in the split second before he pulls her into him.

He crashes his lips into hers, flinching at the dull pain of the clumsy collision. It’s not how he meant to kiss her in the slightest, but if he breaks away now, Rolan thinks he might lose his nerve. Tav doesn’t seem to mind anyway.

When he threads his fingers through hers, she splays her free hand over his chest, twists into the fabric of his robes, and pushes up onto her toes. Gods, he’s relieved he’s been able to bathe since arriving at Last Light. Rolan admittedly has little practical experience of this kind, but like magic, a firm grasp of the theory must provide a good enough foundation. Methodically, he adjusts his movements—more lips, less teeth—until he matches her pace.

“Rolan,” she whispers against his mouth, tugging lightly at her handful of his robes. It sounds like a plea. He’s trying too hard.

Consciously, he softens his efforts, and Tav swiftly takes the opportunity to slip her tongue between his lips. The feel of her palm sliding against his jaw is warmer, more comforting even than the embrace of the Weave. She tastes like spiced tea sweetened with honey, and he hasn’t kissed many people before, but he knows instinctively that this is how a kiss should be.

Her tongue swipes along the roof of his mouth, sending shivers down his spine. She’s clearly done this before. Multiple times. Rolan is tired of her continuously running circles around him. He won’t let her surpass him this time.

Daringly, he winds one arm around her waist to draw her body against his. With his other hand, he takes Tav by the chin and tilts. The squeak she lets out spurs him on as he trails kisses from the corner of her mouth to the side of her neck. When Rolan presses his tongue flat against her heated skin, she claws at his sleeves, gasping.

There’s another gasp just then that Rolan knows couldn’t have come from Tav. It’s louder, farther away, and quickly followed by astonished titters.

“Oh, my.”

Rolan’s racing heart stops, and he snaps his gaze up. Bex and Danis are rooted to the spot where they apparently stumbled upon them, eyes big as saucers. Hells.

Mortified, he lets go of Tav and scrambles to put a respectable distance between them. Bex lets out a giggle as the pair makes a hasty exit that lances him through the stomach. Rolan considers jumping straight into the murky river right then and there.

Tav makes a strange strangled sound, drawing his attention sharply back to her. She’s covering her mouth with both palms, cheeks still beautifully flushed, laughter threatening to burst through her lips. The moment is honest to goodness ruined. Rolan rolls his eyes at her.

“Really?” he says.

It takes her a moment to compose herself, though it seems she still can’t help but beam at him. “It’s funny.”

He responds with an unamused grunt. “Come on. We should probably get back.”

[watsittoyah]

Along Came A Spider…2099

Warnings-Sexual content, time travel, oral sex, rough sex, fang play, size kink, breeding kink, slight angst…

(My Spanish isn’t great, so I did use google translate to help…)

Chapter 7- Everything is not what it seems…

It was the last night of your vacation and you really didn’t want to go back home. You were relaxed and well rested.

“Here mi amor. This piece is juicy.” Miguel feeds you a piece of mango and you moan because of the taste and juice. “I am going to miss eating mangos on this hammock.” You say as you sit up.

“I’ll miss it as well, but we can always come back.” Miguel kisses your shoulder and cuts more of the mango and eats a piece. You then remember what awaits you when you get back to Nueva York and you groan leaning against Miguel’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“I still have to have that dinner with your ex. Do you think you can get Spider-Man to help me out?” He hands you another piece. “I can see what I can do. Maybe I can swoop in and save the day.”

“Yeah, maybe you can like throw her out a window too.” Miguel shakes his head. “Amor…”

“Okay, okay. I’ll throw her out the window.” You joke. Miguel gets up and he helps you out of the hammock. “Let’s go my little villainess. I have one more thing that I want to do with you before we have to get back home.”

“I thought we were staying in tonight?” You ask as you two walk into the house. “We are and we aren’t. You go ahead and get dressed and meet me in a few. Wear that pretty dress I bought you and wear those gold heels.” Before you could ask anymore questions, Miguel had ushered you into one direction while he goes another.

I guess you’re getting dressed.

You had a few things packed up like your souvenirs, and your clothes you’ve wore and washed. You pull out the gorgeous scarlet red dress that Miguel wanted you to wear. It was floor length and you take out your six inch golden heels.

As you get dressed, you look around the room and smile. This week was probably the best week you’ve ever had. You got to go scuba diving, seen the sights. You even got to eat delicious foods and spent a great amount of time with Miguel. This vacation was well deserved.

You put on your earrings and look yourself over in the mirror. This dress made your body look amazing. It clung to the right places and smoothed out others. You grab your lipstick and carefully put it on, you pull your braids up in a high bun and smile. “Perfect.”

Your heels clack across the floor and on the way out of the room you freeze. Something about this, it seems familiar. “What is up with this feeling?” You take a step forward and find Miguel wearing a suit.

“Miss Valentine. Please come with me.” He holds out his hand to you and you take it, hiking up your dress just a little so you don’t trip.

You hear music playing and you follow Miguel until you see a candle light dinner. “Miguel when did you have time to do this?” You ask as he pulls out your seat for you.

“I’ve had this planned since the first day. You know it’s pretty tricky making sure you didn’t know until now.” He says as he sits down.

On the table were red rose petals and two covered dishes. He nods for you to see and you expect to find food under the tray but instead you see a box.

“Miguel what’s this?” You look up and see him standing. “Just a gift for the wonderful woman in my life.” He picks up the box and opens it. Revealing an opal and rose gold necklace. “Here let me.” Miguel places it the necklace on for you and you immediately get up. “Baby, thank you, thank you, thank you!” You kiss him leaving lipstick marks all over his face. He smiles as you wipe it off. “There’s one more gift. Now close your eyes, and hold out your left hand.”

You frown at the instructions but you do as you’re told. “Mantenlos cerrados, princesa.” He says to you. “Miguel my eyes are closed, come on.” You feel him waving his hand in front of your eyes and you stand still in anticipation.

You then hear a loud alarm and you openly your eyes out of fear. “Forgive me. I need to answer this.” Miguel walks away from you and he speaks into his smart watch. You can’t hear what he’s saying but the look in his eyes he gets looking over at you tells you that he’s going to have to leave.

He walks back over to you after he was done with his conversation and he looked guilty. “What’s wrong?” You ask feeling scared. “It’s nothing serious, but I need to leave for just a few hours. As soon as I’m done I’m coming back to you. I guess you’ll have to wait for your other surprise.” Miguel kisses your cheek and he runs into the house.

“Wait Miguel! Where are you-“ You enter the house and strangely you knew he wasn’t there. “Going… Miguel?” You call out to him but there was no answer. Your hand touches the necklace and you sigh.

This is your life now, dating a hero means you’ll have special moments like this and it’ll get interrupted. Which this was okay. This is what you signed up for. The thing that you didn’t understand was how did Miguel just disappear from the house?

••••

Erica was smothering you with her boobs and telling you to never leave her that long again. “Get your tiddies out of my face!” She lets you go and you scoop up Milo. “Hi baby boy. I missed you.”

“You heifer! You don’t miss me but you miss my cat? Give me my son.” You laugh and give her a side hug. “I missed you too E. I got you and our friends some souvenirs. Let me just go unpack and then I’ll give it to you.”

You put Milo down and he meows and runs to the kitchen. “You’re a whole different breed, T. You’re the only person I know who gets home and immediately unpacks.”

“Who sits there and unpacks weeks or months later?” Erica points to herself. “Normal people.” You roll your eyes at her and she watches you unpack a bit.

“Where Miguel? I figured you two would be joined at the hip and talking about getting married by now.”

“He had to handle some business. So he won’t be spending the night.” Erica studies you and she sits on your bed. “What’s wrong?” You want to tell her the weird feeling you had but instead you bring up the other subject thats on your mind.

“So long story short, I have to have dinner with Miguel’s ex.”

“WHAT!? Explain please I need details, I need to know her name. What does this hoe look like?” You knew Erica was down for whatever and you loved her for it. “I’ll pause unpacking and tell you everything if you grab your laptop, some snacks and something harder than lemonade.”

“Girl shit you ain’t say nothing but a word. I’ll be back on five minutes. Milo! Don’t come in here we’re doing hot girl shit!”

About an hour later, Erica was stalking Dana’s socials. “She had the nerve to say hmm I see he has a type.” You say as you take a sip of wine. “The fuck is that suppose to mean? See she was kinda cute but that was ugly. I see why he dumped her ass. Just a bully.”

“I will say she does look like a model. And she has pretty hair.” You say as you twirl your fingers around one of your braids. “Girl I know a Brazilian twenty four inch bust down when I see one, snatch that bitch off and she’s bald headed. She’s not all that. Miguel upgraded when he got with you. Oop hold up, look at this.”

You move across the bed and you look at Erica’s laptop. She points and on her Facegram she had posted a memory.

The memory was a photo of her and Miguel at some fancy dinner. The caption says: Here with my date, isn’t he the cutest?

Miguel looked blankly at the camera while Dana was smiling like a child on Christmas.

“Save my boy, Miguelito! He looks miserable.” Erica bursts out laughing and you look at the date. “This was from last year. From today. Why did she repost this today?” You ask out loud. “I don’t know she’s weird. Didn’t you say that Miguel said she had issues?”

You nod and you take Erica’s laptop and look at Dana’s post. You look at her page and see she has a few posts about charity evens and even some posts about vacations, but those were dated months ago.

Why did she repost this picture the day you came back from your vacation? Were you being paranoid? Was there something behind this?

You close the laptop and you down the rest of your wine. “I’m going to keep an eye out on her. There’s something about her that I don’t like.”

“Well I don’t like her period. So when you go to that dinner I’m coming.” You give her a look. “Now how are you going to be coming?” She shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’m not letting you be alone with that wanna be Bratz doll. Wait I take that back, I liked my Bratz dolls when I was little. She’s more like a furbie. You know those ugly little things back in the day?” You nod and get up out of your bed.

“I’m getting some more wine do you want some?” Erica yawns and shakes her head. “No, but I’m sleeping in your bed tonight. I hope you don’t mind.” You leave the room and as you get some more wine you see your phone light up on the counter. You check it and see you have a voicemail from Miguel. You go ahead and give it a listen.

“Hola amor. I’m sorry for not seeing you off to your apartment. I’m going to be busy for a while. It’s some lab things and you know my other job. But I want to say again that I enjoyed being with you this past week. And when I am finished up, I want to talk to you about something. Huh? Oh…Tommy mi amor, I love you. I’ll talk to you soon.” The voice mail ends and you smile at your phone.

As you turn to go back to your room, you swear you see something pass the window. You stop and you look at the window.

Something…

Something was at the window but you don’t see it. You walk up to the window even though in your head, it’s telling you to stop. It’s telling you to turn around and don’t look at the window. You cup your eyes and search and-

“T! Can you make sure Milo has water?” Erica calls out. “Yeah sure!” You say back as you turn your back to the window.

You can’t see it, but something was out there…

•••

“Are you sure you can’t kidnap me for the night?” You ask as you look at your calendar as you switch your phone from your left to your right ear. Miguel chuckles over the other end. “Amor, if it’s so bad then just push back the dinner.”

“I did, twice. I can’t push it back anymore. I have to go tonight. Can you stay close by?” You ask him as you grab a pleated skirt and cute shirt from your closet. “I will, but I thought Erica was going to be with you?”

“Her boss is making her work late tonight.” You tell him. “I’ll be close by, amor. I promise.” You groan at your outfit because you wanted to be perfect. You didn’t want Dana to out dress you.

“Amor, I know you. Are you overthinking your outfit? Video call me, and show me.” You two hang up and then you video call Miguel. He answered immediately. You prop your phone on your desk and then you show him your outfit.

“I feel like I look like a school girl in this.” Miguel motions for you to do a spin and you do it. “I see nothing wrong with a school girl look. Maybe you should save that outfit for us later. We can role play the naughty school girl and the horny professor.”

You try to keep the smirk off of your lips but fail. “Miguel I’m serious. The dinner is casual but I feel like it’s a trick somehow.”

“Dana is the type to go against dress code. How about that emerald dress? You know the one that’s thigh length? You can wear the matching heels I had bought you and have your hair down.”

You get the outfit together and you change into the outfit. You hear Miguel clapping. “Yes! Esa es mi chica! You look beautiful. I’m pretty sure Dana will be jealous of your outfit.” Your face warms up and you smile. “Thank you, I should let you dress me up more often. Being your doll is kind of fun.”

“Mm, I prefer undressing you, amor…I wish I could be there. I miss those lips.” You sit at your desk and lean forward, letting him see your chest. “Which pair?” You joke. He stares for a moment and then he look up at you. “Both, if I’m being honest. Life as Miguel and Spider-Man can be very tiresome.”

“It is, but I’m proud of you. I’ve been keeping tabs on you and I clipped some newspaper strips.”

“You sound like my biggest fan. I bet you have a scrap book started.” You raise your brows. “How did you know?” He bursts out laughing. “Because I know you amor. When I’m all done and when you’re done with your dinner, I’ll come over. Draw you a bath and you can tell me about everything.”

“That actually sounds so good…oh I have to get going. Baby, how will I know you’re around?” You ask him. “Well you two are having dinner at the Moore Lounge. I’ll be close by. Trust me you won’t miss me.” You nod as you grab your clutch and your keys. “I’m leaving now, I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“I love you too amor.” You both hang up and you tell Milo to be good as you leave the apartment.

You arrive at the Moore Lounge and as you head inside you walk over to the host. “Hello I’m here for the D’Angelo party.” The host gives you a smile. “You must be Miss Valentine. Right this way please.” They lead you further inside and you were brought to the upper level.

They open a private room and there Dana sat. She looked bored until you came in sight. She got up and walked over to you. “Tommie, it’s so good to see you again.” She kisses your cheek and you feel a shiver because her lips felt cold.

“It’s nice to see you as well.” You lie. She takes a step back and she was wearing a mustard yellow form fitting dress. How did this girl make an ugly colored dress look so good? You think to yourself. “You look so pretty, and your hair.” She reaches over to touch it but you move back.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I know how you people get when being touched.”

What the fuck is that suppose to mean?

You ignore that comments and she ushers you to the table. “Miss D’Angelo thank you for giving Mr Stark the opportunity to work-” She waves your comment off. “Please, just call me Dana. I should be thanking you. If I got an invitation from my boyfriends ex I’d be suspicious. But you don’t have to worry about me. I want us to be friends since my father and your boss will be working together.”

A waiter comes in and asks if the two of you are ready to order. “I’ll have a bottle of your finest and I’ll have a steak medium well, shrimp, chilled and a fresh side salad. No dressing please. You can order anything you’d like. Money is no option.”

Why does that remark makes you feel as if she’s trying to be funny?

“Right…I’ll have the chicken carbonara, and a side salad, with thousand island dressing please and just an apple martini.”

The waiter lets the two of you know that your meals will be ready shortly

Dana leans over touching your knee and she smiles. “Again, thank you for coming tonight. I don’t have many girlfriends. The ones that I do have seem to like me for my connections, and not for me.” You nod feeling a bit sad for her.

“Thank you for inviting me. This place is very nice. And I’ve heard the food here is great.”

“I sure hope so, my father gifted me this place last year for my birthday.” You side eyed her as she checks her makeup in the reflection of a butter knife.

Okay spoiled much.

“Tommie, how’s Miguel been these days? Does he still work like a mad man day and night?”

“Well, yes. But he makes time for me. I just love how passionate he is when it comes to his job though.” Dana rests her cheek against her knuckles and she gives a smile. “Oh yes, I remember. There was this one time where we were going out but he had to cancel at the last minute and go to the lab. Tell me has he ever shown you his office? His desk is just so spacious.”

You grind your teeth because how does she know that?

“Yes, but from what Miguel told me you two only went out on one date.” You tell her seeing her eye twitch. “Well, yes. But it was one date in the public eye. Him and I were together for a while. Didn’t he tell you?” You try not to look pissed off and your eyes land out the window where you see movement.

You then see Miguel dressed in his spider suit and Dana moves her head to see what you’re looking at but you scoot in to stop her. “Enough about Miguel, I heard that your family does a lot of charity work. That’s impressive, what charities has your family done?” You ask.

“Oh tons, mostly some for cancer, some for orphans, I think we did one for a school in Africa but I don’t remember. My parents are the ones who does that sort of thing. You know you look really pretty. Like you’re model pretty.”

“Thank you. You’re too kind.” You tell her. “So, how long have you and Miguel have been together?” She asks as the waiter comes back with your drinks. “Oh, for a while.” You answer.

“But how long? Months? Several months? Has he shown you his…other side?” You pause before answering. “What other side are you talking about?” You challenge as you glance at Miguel out the window.

“Oh nothing too crazy. Just…Miguel tends to have a temper. But then again you know what they say about Latin men. And he is Irish. He just oozes red, doesn’t he?”

“I wouldn’t know, he’s only ever been sweet to me.” You say as you sip your drink. “Well aren’t you a lucky, lucky girl.” She says as she pours herself a drink. She sips it and watches you from the corner of your eye.

“Are you mixed? You look mixed.” She asks you. “No, my parents are both black. Why?” She gives a slight shake of her head and giggles. “Mm, forgive me it’s just Miguel dating a woman such as yourself seems so, well you know.”

“No I don’t. But do explain.” You say gripping your glass, thinking about throwing it in her face. “Well-”

The waiter comes in with your food and you couldn’t be more happy. Maybe her chewing will make you not want to jump over this table and knock her teeth down her throat.

As you cut into your food you see Dana looking into her phone. “Ah, did I mention my trip from Italy? It was gorgeous. The food, the culture. The men. All delicious.” She says as she places her phone down and she grabs her fork and knife.

“That’s nice.” You say keeping your replies short. “Tommie, I get the feeling that you don’t like me much. But I’m only looking out for you. You know seeing that we both have been with the same man.” You put your utensils down.

“Dana, I don’t know what sick and twisted things you’re trying to do but cut the shit. Miguel is a sweet man. I don’t know about his past with you and I don’t care-” She tries to interrupt but you stand up. “I’m not finished. You need help, and you need to get over whatever it is. Thank you again but I think I’ll be leaving.” You turn and she laughs.

“Oh sweet little Tommie. I’m only warning you because I was where you were. Miguel isn’t who he says and you deserve to know. And if you’re not careful you’ll become like me, the girl watching Miguel play with his new shiny toy. But you go ahead and play stupid, baby girl. When he breaks your heart. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

You fight the tears as you leave the room and you continue walking to the parking lot. You know Miguel is close by but you rush into your car and you peel out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.

You don’t even know how you made it to your apartment without breaking down, but you slammed the door and kicked off your heels.

You felt hot all over as you unzip your dress and let it pool at your feet. You snatch the dress up and as you go to your bedroom you hear your window open, but you don’t bother to turn, you know who it is.

“Am-” You shoot Miguel a venomous glare and he takes a step back. “Tommie, what is wrong? What did she say to you?” You ignore Miguel for a moment and you grab a t shirt, throwing it on.

“Miguel, be honest with me. How many dates did you go on with Dana.” You turn to him as you pull your braids into a high ponytail. “Only one-”

“Then why in the fuck does she know stuff, Miguel? She knows intimate things that I know because I’ve been intimate with you!” You snap at him. He walks to you but you place a hand up and take a step back.

“Tommie, I don’t know what she told you but I’m telling the truth. I only had one date with her and I never even kissed her.” You take a deep breath through your nose.

“She made me look st-“ You clasp your hands together as if you were praying and you calm your breathing. “She made me look stupid, Miguel. She told me how you two were together for a long time, she told me about your office. About the spacious desk. She told me about your tempter that I’ve only catch glimpses of. How could she know those details? H..how.” You can taste the tears in the back of your throat.

He pulls you in and you push back. “Answer me!” You lash out. “Amor, I don’t know. But I’m telling the truth. Dana and I have never been intimate. When I left her, I knew she was heart broken but I didn’t think she would lie to you in this way.” You look up into his eyes and there. Right there you can tell he’s telling the truth.

“Miguel just go to your apartment. I want to be alone.” He shakes his head. “No, I’m not leaving you alone like this.” You try to push him back but he was solid. “Then go sleep on the couch. I want to be alone. I want to be alone.” You feel your shoulders shake as the tears you’ve been holding back finally falls.

You let out the tears and Miguel pulls you in, engulfing you in his arms like a security blanket. “I’m here. Estoy aquí mi amor. No te estoy dejando.” Miguel says as he kisses your forehead. You wrap your arms around him and you two stand in your room as you let the tears fall…

After an hour, you were sniffling and Miguel was rubbing your back as you two laid in bed together.

“It’s okay, pretty girl.” Miguel whispers as he wipes the remaining tears from your face. You turn your head so you’re facing your pillow. “I am not pretty right now. My eyes are puffy, my lips are chapped. I probably look like those bums that beg for change at the gas station.” You moan into the pillow.

“Well I’d give you every last cent.” You look over at Miguel after that comment and he leans in. “You’re stupid.” You laugh and he gives a smile.

“There’s my pretty girls smile.” You sit up and sniffle still. “I’m sorry for that. Yelling at you and just crying like a big baby.”

“No, amor. You don’t have to apologize for that. You were frustrated. I’d rather you let it out then bottle it up.”

“Dana just made me so mad. The way she talked down to me and how she talked about you. I was so close to hitting her.”

“I’m glad you didn’t resort to violence. But I think it would be best if you aren’t near her.” He says as he pulls you between his legs. “Yeah, because next time she won’t be so lucky. I have to ask, why the hell did you even date her?”

He gives a heavy sigh. “I did it out of pity and for her to leave me alone. Dana has this thing where she picks and picks until she gets what she wants. She had invited me to a charity event and when we arrived she looked bored. She only perked up when the cameras were around. But she was the most self centered, boring, egotistical woman I had ever met. She was even rude to the waiting staff and I just couldn’t take it. I told her that this wouldn’t work and I broke it off with her right then and there.”

“Hmm, she sounds fun.” You say to him. “She wasn’t my type of fun. But enough of Dana. I want to tell you about tonight, you’re going to love this.” You turn so you’re facing him and give him your ear.

“So there was this group of kids, and the smallest one was trying to catch up but I could tell he wasn’t going to make it across the street in time, so I land in front of him. Casi lo asusto. Poor kid, but he looked at me and he asked if I could help him cross the street.”

“And did you?”

“Of course. Once I got him across the street the other kids all crowded him, treating him like the coolest kid ever. I know it might not sound spectacular like saving people from a burning building, or stopping a mugger. But that smile on that little boys face was, the best reward ever.”

You push him back and get on top of him, kissing his face. “Can I just say that I am so proud of you? You do so much, and no matter the problem you find a way to solve it.” Miguel holds you by the hips and he rubs your lower back. “It’s nothing, amor.”

“Stop being so humble. You can flex a little baby. You deserve it.” You lean down and you kiss his stubbled face. “Oh, that tickles.”

“Debería afeitarme. I’m starting to look like my sperm donor.” You let out a laugh. “Well I think this stubble looks sexy. Makes you look rugged. Like those men who come home after cutting wood all day.”

“Oh, so thats what turns you on? Lumberjack men?” He flips you onto your back, causing you to scream as he tickles you. “Stop! Miguel! Stop!” He gives you mercy and he just looks at you. “What? You look like you have something to say.”

“Can I take you out tomorrow for a bite to eat?” He asks as he rubs his nose against yours. “Of course, I’m sure I can squeeze you into my busy schedule.” You wrap your legs around him and he kisses your neck, and starts kissing down to where your necklace sits. “Miguel, what are you doing?”

“I am admiring you. You are beautiful and before you wave my comment off, you deserve to flex. You deserve to do so, amor.” You roll your eyes. “I know you didn’t just quote me to me, you dork.” You tease as your hands reach under his boxers.

“Ay dios mío, princesa. What are you doing?” You look up at him fluttering your lashes at him. “I’m not doing anything bad.”

“Oh but you are being bad. You’re…mmmm, siendo muy mala. Amor, don’t just stroke me…guide it in.” He moans as he gently grips your throat. You bite your lip smiling at him as you scoot your panties off.

“Awe but Miguel, you called me a bad girl. And if I’m so bad, then why would I…” You rub him against your lips and clit and you watch his eyes flutter closed. “Tommie, por favor deslízalo, amor.” He begs which makes you giggle. “I like this side of you. You begging.” You slide the tip in and he moves his hand and he holds himself up by his elbows.

“Don’t tease me. Por favor, cariño, no te burles de mí.” You bite and pull at his bottom lip and you flick your tongue up as you see his fangs. “I’m a bad girl, remember? Why don’t you just thrust in? It won’t…take much effort.” You guide him a little deeper and in a snap his eyes went from a dreamy hazel to a blood shot red.

He thrusts in and he places a hand over your mouth. “If you were my good girl, then I’d let you moan. But you were a bad one. Now lay there and just take it. And if you let out even a whimper without my permission, I will stop. Me entiendes?” You nod, letting him know that you understand and he thrusts in as he holds your hands above your head.

“Esto es demasiado bueno. This is just too good amor. I bet you want to moan and let me know you want me to go deeper.” You nod and he gives a chuckle.

“Too bad, you’ll get it how I want it. And I want it like this.” He does a quick thrust and he slows down then slides out. “Would you look at that amor. I guess I have to slide it back in.” Without warning he thrusts it back up almost causing you to groan.

“Qué fue eso? Huh? Did a sound just come out of that pretty mouth?” You shake your head and he slides back out almost getting a whimper out of you. “Awe, princesa. I bet you want to speak. I bet you want to moan my name. Don’t you? Go ahead you have permission to answer me.”

“Yes, yes I want to moan. I want to m-” He puts a hand over your mouth. “That’s enough.” He bites your neck which catches you off guard and causes you to let out a loud moan.

Miguel draws his fangs back and he raises a brow at you. “Oh I heard that. But I’m a merciful man, am I not?” You nod and he slides out of you and he pulls you over so you’re on top. “You’ll listen and be a good girl this time, right amor?”

“I’ll be good. I promise.” You tell him as you straddle him and feel his dick resting against your lower stomach. “Buena, now show me how I like to be ridden, belleza.” He places his hands behind his head and you hike yourself up.

You position yourself above his dick and when you slide down he moans. “Oh fuck.” His dick throbs as it stretches you out and you place your hands on his chest to keep yourself balanced.

“No tengas miedo. Show me how good girls ride.” Miguel takes one’s of his hands and he cups your right breast, massaging it. “I’m no…not scared.” You lean back and you rock your hips just how he likes it.

You lean your head back as you look up at your ceiling. You moan out his name as he calls you several pet names in Spanish. Miguel then moves his hips and you lean forward quickly. “I know what those clenches mean, amor. Come for me.” And on command it seems, you grab him upwards and you come as he holds you close to him.

He grabs a hold of your ass and he comes deep inside of you. “I love you, I love you so much.” He moans as both of your bodies relaxes together. You two look into each others eyes and you kiss him. “You are mine, Miguel O’Hara. Do you understand me? Mío.” You say rubbing his stubble with your fingertips. “That is right. I am yours amor. And your Spanish is getting better I see. Let me teach you something. Say this. Eres mi corazón en forma humana.”

“Eres mi corazón en forma humana.” You say perfectly. “Good, you did good, amor.”

“Thank you, but uh what did I say?” You ask as the two of you lay back down together. “Nothing bad if that’s what you’re wondering.” You give a scoff and you look at your ceiling again. “Baby? Can I ask you a question?”

“I hope it’s not about Dana.” You make a face. “Ew, hell no.” You lean up on one of your elbows and you look at Miguel’s profile. “Are there more people out there like you? Like an elite team of Spider-people?”

He chuckles at you question. “You can say that.” You get wide eyed. “Wait for real? Can I be a spider person?” He shakes his head. “Yes for real, but no to you becoming like me. I love you the way you are, and this job is tough. Anyways, what would I do if my heart got hurt?” Miguel strokes your cheek and you hold his hand close.

“I could be your side kick. Spider-Man and his trusty partner in Justice. Spider-Byte.” Miguel gives a yawn and cuddles you. “Maybe we can talk about a different type of partnership later. But for now let’s get some sleep.”

“Alright, good night Miguel.” You kiss his cheek one more time and he inhales your scent. “Good night, amor…”

••••

“Miguel, where are you taking me?” You ask as he drives further down town. Miguel was taking you out somewhere special and you were a bit anxious on where exactly. All you see were a bunch of buildings close to each other.

“It’s a surprise. But the hint I’ll give you is, this place means a lot to me. And to someone I cherish close to my heart.” Miguel says as he parks his car on the side of the street. You look around as you get out of the car and Miguel takes your hand.

He leads you to an apartment and he knocks on the door. A small woman with dark black hair answers the door and her eyes lights up when she sees Miguel.

“Ay! Mi bebe varon!” Miguel leans down and kisses the woman on her cheek. “Hola Mama. Esta es mi novia, Tommie Valentine.” Miguel looks at you and you give a shy wave. “Hello Ms. O’Hara.”

She opens her arms to you and you step in for the hug. “You are so beautiful! Oh! Come, come inside. I have lunch ready. Espero que ustedes dos trajeron su apetito. Miguel, help me in the kitchen. Tommie, please please have a seat.”

She leads you to the living room while Miguel heads to the kitchen. When she leaves you there, you look around and you see pictures of two boys.

One of them looks like Miguel but he had two missing front teeth.

“Oh he looks so cute, the other little boy must be his brother.” You hear Miguel laughing in the kitchen and you walk in to see what’s going on. “Mom, I don’t think we can eat all of this food.”

“Nonsense, you’re skin and bones, niño. I remember when you use to eat three plates of my food. And then take from your brother.”

As you watch the two of them you smile. Seeing Miguel interact with his mother was adorable. “It smells really good in here, Ms O’Hara.” You say to Miguel’s mother.

“Tommie, you don’t need to be formal. You can call me, Conchata. Or mom if that’s easier. Anyways has my son been eating? He seems to have lost some weight.”

“Oh Miguel loves to eat.” You say giving him a side eye. He glares at you but shakes his head with a smile. “Well, mom. Tommie feeds me well. In fact this morning-” You step in. “Here let me make you a plate, you look famished.”

Conchata stops you. “You sit, both of you. I’ll make the plates. Tommie, I have pork shoulder, Spanish rice, some salad. Oh I have chicken and I think the ice tea is cold. Niño please grab it for me. Tommie, you aren’t a vegetarian are you? I should’ve asked.”

“No, I eat anything except jello.” You joke. She makes you your plate and she places it down and gets started on Miguel’s.

“Mom, ven a comer. I can make my plate.” She waves Miguel off. “Let me do this. It’s not like I get to do this often. You don’t visit me like your brother does.”

“Mom, you know I would come to visit more often but my job keeps me busy.” Miguel tells her as she places his plate down. “And Gabriel is a cop, but he comes and makes time for his mother.” Miguel gives her a look and goes to eat.

“Primero da las gracias, Miguel.” He sighs and takes my hand and his mothers hand. “Thank you lord for this food. Bless the hands who have prepared it. And lord, please let my mother understand why I don’t visit often.”

“Miguelito...” She warns. “Amen.” She kisses his temple and she gets her plate on the table. As you take the first bite you moan from the taste. “Conchata, this is delicious.” You take a few more bites and she gives you a kiss on your temple too. “Thank you, Tommie. You know Miguel has told me a lot about you. I can see why my son is so in love.”

“Mom, don’t embarrass me.” Miguel whines. “No te estoy avergonzando. You are in love, and that is beautiful. You know your brother he’s in love with his girlfriend. You would know that if you came for family dinners.”

Miguel just eats his food. “I know mom, I know.” He mutters as he chews his rice. “Tommie, make sure you save some room for dessert. I made tres leche cake. It’s Miguel’s favorite.”

“Oh, he’s made that a few times for me. Do you make it with lots of strawberries?” She nods. “I do, but lately they’ve become so expensive at the grocery store.”

“Well, my grandmother, she has a garden and she has a lot of fresh strawberries. Maybe I can ask her to give you some.”

“Ay niña, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure my grandmother would love to meet you as well.” As the conversation continues, you hear fire trucks in the distance. Conchata gets up and peeks outside of her window.

“Oh Dios mío! Mr Li’s pizza shop is on fire.” You look over at Miguel and he gives a slight nod. “Mom, I’ll be right back. I just need to use the bathroom.” Miguel gets up and you get up and walk Miguel’s mother back to the table.

“Conchata, can you tell me about Miguel when he was younger?” You ask to keep her distracted. “Miguel he was my sweet boy. Always sticking up for what’s right. He would come home with bruises but he would smile through the pain because he would make sure the bullies knew their place. But I taught him that he can use more than his muscles. He could use his brains. My sweet boy he created so many inventions in the garage I thought the fbi would come by the house at any moment.” She laughs at a memory and you touch her hand.

“Miguel is a brilliant man. I’m just lucky he’s in my life.” She touches your hand as well and touches your cheek. “My son is blessed to have you in his life. And just between us, I think you make him a better man. He was down for a while but when he did come and visit he mentioned how he finally got to talk to you. He said the pretty girl down the hall gave me a chance. Do me a big favor, niña. If he ever forgets himself, remind him who he is from time to time.” She winks at you and you smile. “I will.”

“Are you ladies talking about me?” Miguel says as he enters the kitchen. “No sé de qué estás hablando.” She says to him.

Miguel gives his mother a kiss on the cheek and he sits back down besides you. He holds your hand and that was perfect. “Mom, can we have dessert outside?” Miguel asks. “Sí. We can.”

After lunch the three of you were on the back deck and you feel Miguel hold you from behind as you look at the scenery. “Miguel not in front of your mother.”

“Amor, we aren’t doing anything my mother hasn’t done. Need I remind you she has two sons.”

“Miguel, behave yourself.” Conchata says as she places dessert on the table. “Oh no, I forgot to grab the coffee.”

“Mom, nosotros no lo necesitamos.” She gives her son a frown. “Miguel, tú y Tommie vayan a la tienda y compren el buen café.” Miguel goes to protest but stops. “Don’t take out your money, mom. I got it. Tommie let’s go.” You follow Miguel to the front and as you do you see the firefighters taping off the pizza place.

“How many people did you save?” You ask him. “Six. It was pretty easy, but I’m not bragging.” He says as he holds your hand. “Right, not bragging. So do they know how the fire started?”

You two cross the street and continue to walk. “They said it was faulty wiring. Hopefully Li can get that han-” Miguel stops and looks up. As you do the same you see something in the air flying around. “What is that?” You ask as it’s getting closer.

“Run!” Miguel yells as the green creature swoops down and throws what looks like a pumpkin.

As the pumpkin lands, you hear a high frequency sound and it explodes causing you, Miguel and the few people on the street to go flying.

You can feel your hand being ripped away from Miguel and when you land, you land hard. The wind was knocked clean out of you.

You sit up and all you see is the aftermath of the chaos. You look around for Miguel but he was nowhere in sight. “Miguel!” You call out his name and as you go to stand you wince. You definitely feel that you have a broken rib or two. You see an old woman on the ground. You go over and you help her up. As you check to see if she’s okay you hear laughing in the air behind you.

“Look at what we have here.” You turn and you see a person in what looks like a goblin costume. “Miss, go.” You usher the lady to go elsewhere and you take a step back. You then see a glowing red web and you see Miguel in his spider suit.

He swoops in and he sends a deadly punch into the gut of the goblin wearing freak. You hold your side as you start running to safety.

“My baby! I can’t find my baby! Please help me find my baby!” A woman runs and screams. You run to her to help. “Miss, what does your baby look like?”

“He’s….a small boy, he’s wearing a black panther shirt and-oh my god! Jacob!” You turn to where the woman is looking and you see a small child crying in the middle of the street. Your legs take off running before your brain can figure out what to do next. You see a large concrete slab fall but you swoop in and grab the boy just in time.

You run into a building and the boy was crying. “I want my mommy.” You hold him close. “I know, and I’ll bring you to your mommy. We just-” As you try to leave the building, you see another pumpkin fall and you run back inside. It explodes causing the building to crumble.

You go towards the back of the building and you cover the boys nose because the smoke just smells terrible.

You make it up the stairs of the building and you see a balcony. You wave down below for anyone to hear and you hear Jacob crying harder for his mom.

You set him down and you cough. “Hey, hey you’re Jacob right?” He nods and you hold his hands. “Jacob, I see you like super heroes, well I have a super hero friend. His name is Spider-Man.”

You feel wind past you and there was Spider-man. Jacob hides behind your leg and you kneel down. “This is my friend Spider-man. I know he can look big and scary, but he is going to bring you back to your mom. Is that okay?” Jacob nods and you pick him up and hand him to Spider-Man.

“Hold onto me miss.” You wrap your arms and legs around him as he hold Jacob in his other arm. As he swings through the buildings, you point to Jacob’s mother and he lands. He hands Jacob to him mother and she kisses his face, while telling Spider-Man thank you.

You unwrap yourself from him and you get a strange sensation in the back of your throat.

You bend over and cough out blood. As you wipe your lip you feel your legs give out. He catches you and you notice it’s harder for you to breathe.

“Amor, breathe. I need you to breathe.” He says in a panic as he holds you upright. You try to make your lungs work but they don’t listen. Instead you cough up more blood and you hear sirens in the distance.

“Tommie! Necesito que respires! Come on, baby breathe.” He shakes you a bit and you get tunnel vision as your throat fills with blood. “She needs help!” You hear Miguel scream as you lose consciousness…

Previously, Next

[theragethatisdesire]

much ado about nothing chapter 6 - plug!eren x reader - 18+!!!

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. minors and ageless blogs, please do not read below the cut.

ummmmm HIII so sorry i know i still owe you guys a million drabbles and i haven't been posting as much but this chapter is just chock-full of drama and i'm so excited to share it bc hehehe it's a rollercoaster. also we should def stop listening to sasha. sneaky posting; have fun babies!!!! i cannot WAIT to hear your thoughts

specific cws: alcohol use, violence (like fist-fighting level not insane), mentions of drugs, swearing, incredibly awkward tension lol

-

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare (Act I, Scene 1)

You’ve done a lot of partying in your days, but you never thought a hangover could float over your shoulders for damn near two weeks. Then again, maybe that rancid taste in your mouth is regret instead of the practical gallons of liquor you’d guzzled that night.

Historia tells you to delete the evidence, have a glass of wine with your friends, focus on your studies, put meaning back into the happy distractions that make up life. Sasha tells you to suck it up, download Tinder, do something other than wallow in your bed with nothing on but the fairy lights along your ceiling. Ymir tells you men aren’t worth embarrassing yourself for, maybe start swinging the other way, that she knows a few very pretty single ladies.

You meet all of their advice with a slow nod, sometimes a chuckle, put your head down, and go about your business, letting the shame follow you around like a little rain cloud from building to building around campus. Even your students have noticed something’s making you tick; Falco and Gabi left a package of Crumbl cookies in your office the other day, and for the first time, Zofia has begun to raise her hand in class. It’s heartwarming, really, but it doesn’t solve your problem.

Problems would be the better term for it. To start, there was your royal fuck-up with Eren. You had over-indulged and gotten a little too flirty to be “friends”, sure, it happens, but something had snapped in you when you saw Eren with that leggy blonde hanging all over him at the club.

Breeze. Even wearing naught but a skirt and some thin tights with the early winter wind whipping around your legs, just the thought of her name makes your blood boil. She was perfect, all bouncy and easygoing and cool, hippie clothes. To be fair, she was the one with the true claim on Eren; you had dug your own grave, far too confident in your ability to be just friends with someone so…so Eren.

Your friendship had been growing closer and closer by the passing day before that night, texting at nearly every minute of the day and spending time together wherever you could fit it in your full schedule. You had made plans to bake Christmas cookies together, even despite Eren’s protests that Christmas was a “capitalistic hellhole of a holiday season”, had acted out your favorite Shakespeare scenes in your pajamas, much to Eren’s amusement, and had made a habit of staying up late into the night watching and rewatching your favorite animes, heatedly debating characters. It had been butterfly-inducing, dizzying, perfect. Until you had indulged in one too many shots and humiliated yourself, that is.

Seeing Breeze all over Eren had made you realize the severity of your mistake trying to keep Eren in your life, realize the warm feeling blooming in your chest every time he grinned at you, all teeth and his little chin dimple, was decidedly much more than a platonic appreciation for a new friend. It turned out that you’d been right from the start; you weren’t his type, and to make matters worse, his actual taste in women had been thrust in your face unexpectedly.

When you had awoken the next morning, debating on whether to fall back asleep immediately or dash to the toilet, Historia had greeted you with a sorry smile, a cup of coffee, and a quiet word of advice to look through your phone. Knowing your drunken self, you pulled up your phone calls first, wanting to make sure you hadn’t accidentally Facetimed your mom to tell her how much fun you were having or something cringe-worthy of the sort. But no, of course it had to be much worse than that.

There was a phone call– to Eren. Your call log had recorded a one minute and thirty-six second phone call between you and Eren, one you obviously didn’t remember making.

“Please tell me you were with me when I called Eren,” you groan, so naive, “did I completely embarrass myself?”

Historia blushes. “Well, he didn’t answer, if it’s any consolation–”

“Oh, thank god–”

“But that didn’t exactly stop you,” Historia fiddles with the edge of her t-shirt, “you left him a voicemail.”

Even through your throbbing headache, you shoot right up out of bed at that. “What?! What did I say?”

“I don’t know,” Historia moans woefully, putting her hands over her face, “I’m sorry, I tried to stop you, but you ran off as soon as you started talking. By the time I caught up to you, you were already hanging up.”

“So, there’s a voicemail from drunk me on Eren’s phone, and neither of us have any idea what it says?”

“Correct.”

“My life fucking sucks.”

“It’s about to get a whole lot worse,” Historia says, throwing your sheets back and snuggling beside you in the bed, burrowing her face in your shoulder, “check your texts.”

And oh, had it gotten worse. Your drunken, foolish text sat in your outbox, unanswered, unread, and inexcusable. Six months later and you were right back where you started, begging a ghost of a man to explain why he couldn’t love you.

> hi luke, i’m sorta ficked up, but i misz you. why did yoi never call me???? you owe me at leasttg that. a fcking explanation,. 

Storming through campus, coat tucked around your shoulders against the biting chill, you wince at the memory. You haven’t deleted the unanswered text yet, keeping it stale in your phone as a reminder of what happens when you get too attached to people you know aren’t good for you.

You thought you’d be more heartbroken over the text to Luke and its lack of an answer, but surprisingly, you’re not. It’s Eren haunting your thoughts, Luke’s just the placeholder for all of your anger at this point. Eren isn’t to blame for all of this, you are, and that’s why you can’t bring yourself to face him, can’t bring yourself to answer any of the hesitant texts he’s sent you since that god-awful night.

You’re not in college anymore, you have to keep reminding yourself. You’re twenty-four, and you’d like to think you’re past the phase of your life where you’re handing your heart out to anyone that passes like it’s a Costco sample. You aren’t even sure if you want Luke anymore at this point, if you could even speak to him if you bumped into him these days. He had, admittedly, treated you like dirt, wrenched your heart out from your chest and left it on the sidewalk to collect dust. At least you can hate him, hate what he did to you, hate that you’re stuck on him like a broken record skipping to the same chorus every few weeks.

You can’t hate Eren, though. You can be disappointed in him for entertaining his terrible ex-girlfriend, not aloud of course because he hadn’t actually mentioned her to you himself, but you can do it internally. Even that isn’t enough to make you feel better; not only had he not trusted you, not felt safe or comfortable enough with you to share the skeletons in his closet, but he was likely zooming full-speed down a dead-end street, the way Sasha tells the story. Your heart aches for him out of a painful mixture of pining and fervent concern.

Your only solution so far has been to dive headfirst into your coursework and your students; it hasn’t done much to distract you, but with finals on the horizon, it’s not the worst method of coping you’ve come up with in your days.

Your newly invigorated dedication to your work and your courses are the cause of you dragging yourself across campus to 104, desperate for caffeine and practically a corpse after two weeks of near-constant self-shaming keeping you up at night.

The smell of the coffee shop, earthy and warm, hits you almost as hard as the blasting heat inside, and you practically slouch upon entering, the weight of the cozy atmosphere cocooning you like a warm blanket. If there’s one place that will always feel like a hug, it’s 104 Beans, your coffee shop of choice (and obligation, considering the small size of your campus) for the last six years.

Pieck, your favorite barista, greets you in her typical dreamy manner. “Hi love, same as usual?”

“Hey Pieck,” you greet her with a weary smile. As you dig around in your bag for your wallet, the extent of your exhaustion versus the amount of work you have left to do surfaces in your brain. “Actually…no, not my usual. Can I get a quad shot Americano?”

Pieck pauses where she’s scribbling onto a paper cup with a Sharpie, eyes flitting back up to you in disbelief. “A quad shot Americano?”

“A quad shot Americano.”

“Jesus,” Pieck sighs, eyes wide, “work’s that rough, huh? Black coffee not going to cut it?”

“The shakes will be worth it,” you confirm, swiping your card through the machine.

“Can I please make it a cappuccino then? You’re going to need something creamy to get all that espresso down,” Pieck looks back up at you, eyes pleading.

“Fine,” you sigh, “but–”

“Almond milk, I know,” Pieck winks at you, sliding your cup down the assembly line of baristas working amongst the hissing of the espresso machine and the pleasant, folky music floating from the speakers. “We’re a little busy, so give me five and I’ll bring it over to you.”

You smile gratefully and collect your things, turning to scout out what’s hopefully a quiet table in the corner, when a pair of arms tossed around your shoulders stops you. The familiar scent of fruity perfume tickles your nose, and you slump against the tight grip in relief.

“You made it out of the house!” Sasha’s eyes glow with pride, as if you’d just run a marathon.

“It’s not like I’m a hermit,” you roll your eyes, “I have class five days a week.”

“You don’t go anywhere besides class or your house though, so you still get participation points,” Sasha grins, shaking your shoulders, “how are you feeling?”

“Well…”

Sasha’s expression crumples. “Still that bad, huh?”

“The Luke thing was pathetic of me, but honestly, it’s not haunting me as much as I thought it would,” you admit, pausing for a moment to allow Sasha to grab her coffee from the barista when her name is called, “the one thing that’s really sticking with me is the Eren issue.”

“Like, the voicemail? Or Breeze?”

“Both. I would give anything to know what that voicemail said, but whatever was going on between us aside, I just hope he’s okay, y’know? With Breeze back in the picture and everything.”

Sasha bites into her bottom lip and glances around the coffee shop, checking every face at every table. You know that face; she’s hiding something.

“What?”

“What?” Sasha cocks her head innocently. You nearly smack her.

“You’re not telling me something.”

“Uh…okay, yeah, I’m not, but I’m not sure if I should. I mean, you’re actually out of the house–”

“I leave my house plenty!”

“You know what I mean,” Sasha scoffs, “it’s just…if you’re feeling better, I don’t want to throw you back into the deep end.”

You have no words for that, absolutely despising the way that she is completely correct. Whatever information lies behind Sasha’s bitten lip could either make you feel a hundred times better or a hundred times worse, and you’re stuck debating on whether you should gamble or not when Sasha makes the decision for you.

 “Fine, you wore me down,” she sighs.

“I didn’t even say anything,” you point out, raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t have to,” Sasha says, annoyed, “you have this, like, fucking puppy dog look. Makes me sick. Get your coffee, I’ll find a table, and we can talk.”

Like clockwork, the moment Sasha steps away, Pieck grabs your attention and hands your coffee over along with an extra hot cup half-full of steamed almond milk. You look at her questioningly, and she merely shrugs.

“That’s a lot of espresso. I know you’re in, like, your depressed writer phase right now, but I figured a little extra milk would come in handy.”

“You’re the best,” you smile at her affectionately, thinking absentmindedly that you should invite her out to Scout’s sometime. Before she can respond, Pieck’s gaze lands on something just over your shoulder. You can smell him even before you turn around, musky cologne and a little hint of weed. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Hey Pieck. Usual?” His throaty timbre cuts through the thick air, sharp as a knife. Pieck nods politely and gets to work on his coffee, forgoing a trip to the cash register. That tracks; Pieck’s hooded eyes are bloodshot more often than not.

“Excuse me,” you mutter, trying to sneak around him, but Eren’s quicker than you, side-stepping to cut you off.

“Hey stranger,” he smiles down at you, but it’s tense, nervous, “trying to run off on me?”

“Didn’t even realize that was you, sorry,” you lie, offering him a thin smile in return. You spot Sasha gaping at you across the cafe, waving her arms wildly and mouthing What the fuck?. You can’t help but feel similarly.

“It’s been awhile, how are you?”

“M’fine, just really busy with school.” God, you hate this, this awkward small talk barely parsing its way through the jungle of things left unsaid between you two. “You?”

“Fine,” Eren looks around awkwardly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Good,” you speak directly into your coffee, unable to stomach the emerald green peering down at you.

“You know,” Eren’s words come out quite like he can’t believe he’s saying them, “I kinda thought you were avoiding me.”

“Did you?” Your voice is caught in your throat, coming out in a pathetic squeak. Has he heard the voicemail? The startling turn the conversation’s taken must be visible all over your face, because Sasha’s flailing arms beckoning you over to the table grow more urgent.

“You haven’t texted me back, haven’t seen you in a couple weeks,” Eren’s incredibly focused on his shoes, kicking one Vans sneaker idly back and forth on the floor and making a squeaking sound, “so yeah, sort of.”

“I’m busy,” you deadpan, praying to any god you can remember the name of that you’ll just disintegrate right where you stand. Eren meets your eyes again, smirks disbelievingly.

“You said that.”

Something in his tone annoys you, something about his insinuation that he knows you’re blatantly lying, that he’s teasing you over your embarrassment, ignites a little flame in your chest. You scowl at him.

“I mean, you must be pretty busy too.”

“Why’s that?”

“Breeze just got back into town, didn’t she?” No going back now. Eren’s face blanches for a moment, features growing pale, but he manages to school his face back into that nonchalant pout that you want to slap right off his face.

“Historia told you?” He doesn’t sound surprised; in face, he sounds almost expectant, like he knew you’d find out at some point. It stakes the embers burning in your chest.

“She’s my best friend, so yeah.” This feels like an argument. It shouldn’t be an argument, but your clipped tone is pushing it in that direction. You’ve spent the last two weeks reminding yourself that you have no claim on Eren, no reason to be hurt or upset, but here you are, feeling that familiar rush of anger coursing through your veins.

“I mean, we haven’t been hanging out or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Who said I was worried?”

Eren’s eyebrows knit together, a little frown playing at his mouth. “I don’t know, I mean–”

“Look, Sasha’s waiting for me,” you point over Eren’s shoulder to the little two-top table, where Sasha has stilled within the blink of an eye, shooting Eren an innocent smile and a little wave. “I’d love to catch up, but maybe another time.”

“It was good seeing you.” Eren looks confused, albeit, a little bit hurt, and you hate it. Why is that so much worse, even worse than the sight of him with Breeze hanging off of his arm? His little pout puts a needle through your ballooning anger, and you deflate, sighing.

“I’ll see you around, I’m sure.”

“Yeah,” Eren takes his coffee from Pieck and ambles towards the door, sparing you one last glance over his shoulder. Unwilling to hold his eyes any longer, you scurry to your table, just having realized that Pieck forgot to put a coffee sleeve around your cup and that it’s been burning your hand for the last several minutes.

“Ow! Shit!” You practically crash land across from Sasha, dropping your cups in synchronicity and shaking your red palms around in the air to cool them down.

“What was that?” Sasha hisses, leaning across the table so viciously that your drinks nearly topple over.

“He just showed up!”

“You didn’t have to talk to him.”

“I didn’t try to. He just, like, materialized behind me and started talking. What was I supposed to do? Run away?”

“Little shit,” Sasha swears, glaring at the door as if her anger can shoot through it like a laser beam, cut Eren down where he’s surely almost a block down the street by now, “what did he say?”

“He asked if I’ve been avoiding him," you say, twirling your wooden coffee stirrer through your drink idly and trying to look as if your heart’s not still beating at what’s sure to be a dangerous rate.

“Well, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. He got all smug about it,” you scoff, the replayed scene of Eren’s self-assured smirk wiping off of his face bringing you a little bit of petty satisfaction, “until I brought up Breeze.”

Sasha’s eyes grow wide, and she looks around the coffee shop again, as if Eren or Breeze might come popping out of one of the large potted plants in the corners. “That’s actually what I wanted to tell you. What did he say about it?”

“What did you hear?” You narrow your eyes at her, and she narrows hers back.

“You first.”

“He didn’t say much, just looked really surprised that I brought her up. Said they haven’t been hanging out.”

“That’s bullshit,” Sasha snorts, rolling her eyes. Something in your chest that had begun to glimmer, something akin to hope, feels like it just got a bucket of ice-water poured over it. You cock your head, furrow your brows.

“How would you know?”

“Because Hitch and I grabbed some coffee–”

“Hitch? I thought that was a–”

“Okay, don’t crucify me, I know,” Sasha holds her hands up defensively, “it was supposed to be a one night stand, but…I don’t know. She’s cool.”

“Cool?” Even through your desperation for anything Eren-related after a two week drought, you smile knowingly at her. Sasha’s not hard to read, especially when her face goes bright red from chin to forehead.

“Yes,” she hisses, “cool. Anyway, we came by a few days ago, and Eren was here. With Breeze.”

“I mean, I expected as much.”

You’re lying, you’re so lying. The only consolation you’ve had over the last two weeks that you’re not a complete moron is the hope that maybe, just maybe, Eren’s just as forlorn as you, laying around and wishing his phone would buzz with your name on it, wishing you’d pop up at his door with a bag of popcorn ready for movie night. Instead, your worst suspicions have been confirmed, and not only is Eren very much involved with Breeze again, but he had lied straight to your face about it. Ouch.

“They weren’t like, holding hands or anything. Honestly, it looked like they were fighting.”

“Well, what did Hitch say about it?” You don’t even know if you want to know, but with your brain short-circuiting inside your skull, your mouth has free reign to seek out information that will be about as soothing as lemon juice on a papercut.

“Eren won’t talk to any of them about her,” Sasha burns her tongue on her coffee and sucks in a sharp breath, “not even Armin, apparently. She said he’s been moody lately.”

“Wonder why,” you mumble, mulling all of this new information over in your head. Breeze is bad for him, makes him crazy, you already know that. But you didn’t think it would start this soon– you feel like if anything, he should be ecstatic that his long-lost love has finally come back to him. And he can stop trying to replace her, your brain adds helpfully, only doubling the watery ache swelling in your chest.

“Who cares?” Sasha rips open a granola bar, biting into it and continuing to speak with her mouth full. “That’s why you’ve got to stop avoiding him.”

“Huh? That seems like the opposite–”

“No,” Sasha cuts you off, an air of authority in her normally chipper voice, “you’re not going to cower in the corner just because Eren’s back with his shitty ex girlfriend–”

“It’s not just because of Breeze,” you correct her, “it’s because of that voicemail. I have no idea what I said. There’s a lot that’s contributing to my self-induced isolation, trust me.”

“Regardless,” Sasha mouths around another bite of her granola bar, “the only thing that will make you feel better is being around him.”

“That sounds a little contradictory–”

“Trust me,” Sasha interrupts you again, “the best way to make a guy come around is to be up in his face, flaunting how hot and single you are, and to not give him an ounce of your attention. It’s a tried and true method, I promise.”

It turns out that you are a beacon for those with bad ideas, evidently, because later that night, you’ve ended up at Scout’s, cuddled up against the bar with Sasha despite Historia’s fervent protests. If Historia shows up later, just to “check in” (read: see what’s come of Sasha’s terrible plan), you won’t be surprised. She’s prone to being the mom friend and the harbinger of gossip, but she hasn’t shown face quite yet. It’s just you, Sasha, and a handful of regulars, sipping unreasonably cold beers and trying to act as if the early December chill hasn’t rattled you to your bones.

“This is a stupid idea,” you murmur against the lip of your bottle, trying not to seem as unnerved as you are, even after an hour of waiting and sipping. Sasha scoffs beside you, picking through your near-empty basket of peanut shells in search of a full pod.

“It’s not. He’ll be here.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you dragged me out. It only took a week for me to start missing this place,” you run a thoughtful hand along the varnished wooden bartop, “but I’m just still not sure about this whole seeing-Eren-on-purpose thing.”

Before Sasha can answer, the door swings open to reveal the man in question: Eren, accompanied by Armin and Connie, as always, and sporting his standard uniform. Black hoodie, slouchy khaki pants that are tightened around the ankles, and his beat-up Vans.

You nearly sigh into your drink at how delicious he looks, only stopping when the little voice in your head reminds you that the voicemail you’d left him exists. Friends– no, strangers now? The concept of labeling your bizarre, gray-areas-only relationship with Eren brings a chuckle up your throat, one that spills onto the bar.

You can feel him watching you, but to your simultaneous surprise and disappointment, he gives you space, sidling up to the bar a few seats down from where you and Sasha are occupying a couple of bar stools. When Connie throws up a cheerful hand in greeting to you, you tentatively wave back, only for Armin to grab Connie’s attention and turn him toward the bar.

“Ha!” Sasha says triumphantly, looking at you with her eyes glowing like you’re supposed to have reached a revelation of some sort. “See?”

“Did you plot this with Connie?” You narrow your eyes in suspicion.

“No, I’m just a genius, that’s all.”

“I feel like your theory is being proven wrong, not right. He’s not even sitting near us.”

“Because you have the upper hand!” Sasha grins.

“The upper hand?”

“Yeah, he’s giving you some space so you can make the first move, get what you want out of him.”

“And what do I want out of him?” You nearly growl in your frustration, feeling silly sitting exactly four barstools down from Eren with him running through your mind as if he isn’t close enough to just hop up and hug. It’s a genuine question more than a rhetorical one; you’re not even sure what you expect out of him anymore. Another fuck? A fancy date night? A lifetime worth of radio silence, as if Eren isn’t the person you’ve connected better with than nearly anyone else in your romantic history?

Sasha’s brows furrow. “Don’t you know?”

“No! That’s what I was trying to tell you!”

“Oh,” Sasha frowns, rubs her chin, “we should have figured that part out before we came, I guess.”

“Sasha!” You whisper-hiss, ever mindful of what you’re sure to be prying ears only a few feet away. “So you have no plan?”

Sasha stumbles, stutters, and eventually, flushes bright red with a shrug. “Okay, fine, I have no plan. But at least it’s something to break up your routine of laying in bed eating chips and moping around the library.”

“You’re such a bitch.” You roll your eyes, but you don’t mean it, not really. Regardless of how things stand, at the very least you can sneak little glances at Eren, take in how good he looks– no, you correct yourself firmly. You hopped off that train of your own accord, and you’re better for it.

With some verbal manhandling, you goad Sasha into a lull of small talk, classes, anything that comes to mind. A pair of eyes finds you, not the emerald that keeps you up at night, but a pair of hazel old-and-new eyes draw to you, and you can feel the scratch of an unwelcome gaze on your skin.

“Floch’s here,” you state the obvious, sipping your drink and giving no physical indication that you’ve noticed him, staring straight ahead as you mutter to Sasha.

“Christ, this was not a good idea,” Sasha groans, face-palming.

“Wow, I sure wish that someone had suggested this was a bad idea, wouldn’t that have been nice?”

“Shut up,” Sasha says, peeking warily over her shoulder, “I think that’s Hitch in the corner, too.”

You frown, confused at the hunched, anxious change in her posture. “Why are you being weird? Go say hey.”

“I’m not abandoning you!”

“Oh, shut it. Why are you really being weird?”

“I, uh…” Sasha twirls her beer around on the counter, blushing, “I haven’t texted her back in like, four or five days.”

“Sasha! You like her, I can tell. What’s gotten into you?”

“It was supposed to be a one-night thing,” Sasha moans, letting her face fall dramatically into her hands, “and then it was movie nights and coffee and just…way beyond casual hooking up. I like her, but…I don’t know! I panicked.”

You chew on her admission for a second, selfishly comparing Sasha’s situation to your own. Was that what you were doing with Eren? No, surely not, but was that what he was doing with you? You knew he had loved Breeze, that she had wrecked him, but maybe…just maybe some small part of you wants to hope that he’s moved on, that the coffee shop sighting was a fluke.

You shoo Sasha in Hitch’s direction, demanding she run over to apologize and make nice with Hitch, partially to save Sasha’s first shot at a real relationship in years and partially because you want to stew alone with your thoughts. Before you can get too deep into your black hole of what ifs, a familiar presence is sliding into Sasha’s seat, grinning lewdly.

You sigh; it was only a matter of time before he sought you out.

“What do you want, Forster?”

“Last name only? Ouch,” Floch places a hand over his heart, drumming the fingers of his other hand on the countertop. You recognize his demeanor immediately: pupils blown wide, buzzing to the brim with nervous energy. Floch’s always dabbled in party drugs, part of why you could only stand to be around him in small doses back when you were hooking up.

“Are you coked out right now?” Mindful of Levi’s hovering presence behind the bar, you keep your voice to a low hiss.

“So you can’t call me by my first name, but you can ask such personal questions? Jesus, you really are full of it, aren’t you?”

“Floch,” you nearly groan in frustration, “I thought I made it perfectly clear the last time I saw you that I’m not interested.”

“Why are you being so mean to me, hm?” Floch snakes a hand around your shoulders, jostling you until your face is mere inches from his. You’re more than aware of a pair of green eyes nearly boring a hole in your forehead, and you feel a pang of regret that you sent Sasha away so quickly, remembering far too late that Hitch’s table doesn’t offer a great view of where you’re seated at the bar.

“I’m not being mean,” you try to push at him, but he’s locked around you, “I’m just not interested.”

“Stop being such a bitch, Jesus Christ,” Floch finally lets you shove him away from you, but he’s far from done, “when did you get so stuck up, huh?”

“Floch. Keep your voice down, and walk away.” You try to warn him; Floch may be a pain in your ass, but you’d like to believe that he’s not a bad guy, deep down. You’re too late, however. 

Eren’s materialized between you and Floch before you can blink, before you can even get another word out. His sudden presence forces you out of your barstool, stepping around him to get a better read on what the hell he thinks he’s doing. Eren seems not to notice you trying to insert yourself between him and Floch, and the look on his face makes you step back momentarily.

He looks terrifying. Eren’s nostrils are flaring, eyes blown wide and jaw clenched tight. He’s taking full advantage of his height, glaring down at Floch with such menace that if looks could kill, Floch would already be laid out on the floor.

“Get the fuck out of here, dude. She said no.”

“What are you, her little guard dog?” Floch, infamous for never knowing what’s best for him, scoffs at Eren’s incredibly intimidating posture.

“Maybe I am,” Eren sneers, “I’m damn sure not going to sit there and let you speak to her like that.”

“Who’s this loser?” Connie’s to your right now, gesturing to Floch. You don’t miss the telltale clenching of Eren’s hands by his side, and it hits your dizzied mind what’s going on. Eren’s going to end up swinging if you don’t interfere, and Connie’s there for backup. 

“Floch, please.” You reach a feeble hand up to Floch’s chest, trying to gently push him in the other direction.

In the blink of an eye, Floch’s grabbing you by the wrist hard enough to solicit a yelp from your lips, throwing your arm away from him with a look of disgust.

“Oh, so now you want to touch me, bitch?”

No sooner has Floch’s hand released your arm than Connie’s got his arms wrapped around you, yanking you out of the crossfire. Amidst a series of gasps, Eren grabs Floch around the back of the neck, pins him face-first to the bar. 

“Jaeger!” Levi barks sharply, darting over to the scene of the commotion.

“Is that what gets you off, huh?” Eren’s nearly nose-to-nose with Floch, whose busted lip is twisted in a grimace and dribbling little bits of blood onto the varnished bartop. “Calling women bitches when they don’t want your little dick?”

“Let him go, Eren,” Armin tries to intervene, having already dashed over from his barstool. You want to back him up, but you’re frozen where you’re pinned to Connie’s chest, trembling in his arms. You know Eren’s a little rough-and-tumble, but this, seeing it in real life, is much more terrifying than you could have imagined.

“What the hell? Are you okay?” You can hear Sasha’s voice from beside you, close enough to touch but distant in comparison to where your vision is zeroed in on Eren’s grip on the back of Floch’s neck.

“Answer me!” Eren rears Floch back a few inches and slams him against the bar again. Floch curses under his breath, wriggles fruitlessly under Eren’s weight.

“Get the fuck off me, Jaeger!”

“You fucking wish,” Eren hisses, tightening his grip further, “now apologize to my girl before you make me do something I’ll regret.”

“Eren,” you find your voice again, shaking out of Connie’s grip. You fist your hands into Eren’s hoodie sleeves, tugging hard enough to get his attention. “He’s not worth it. Let him go.”

“Listen to her, Jaeger,” Levi’s already-deep voice is stained with warning.

When you pull at his sleeve a little harder, Eren turns to you, eyes still blown wide and teeth bared. It startles you, but you hold firm, setting your own jaw and shaking your head.

“Let. Him. Go. Now, Eren.” You’re not sure how you’ve managed to muster up the conviction in your voice, but you’re grateful for it, as it seems to shake Eren back into himself. Eren slowly releases Floch and in the same easy motion, he guides you behind him with one long, strong arm.

“You,” Levi points accusingly at Floch, “out.”

Floch’s jaw drops. “I didn’t even–”

“Out.” Levi’s tone leaves no room for argument, and Floch seems to understand at least that. He turns his glare back to you and Eren, scowling deeply.

“The next time I see you, Jaeger, it’s fucking over.”

“Get lost before you make me fucking embarrass you,” Eren says, voice dripping with venom. Floch shakes his head, lets his gaze land on you. A chilling smile breaks over his features.

“Next time, sweetheart.”

“Get the fuck out of here already, bro,” Connie snaps, pointing towards the exit. Floch takes his leave, sauntering towards the door with all the confidence of someone who hadn’t just been pinned against the countertop. A heavy, staticky silence falls over the bar.

“If I see you fighting in here again, it’s over.” Levi’s cold eyes fall on Eren, who nods curtly in understanding. Eren brushes his hands through his hair, rests a hand on the bun at the back of his head. Something strange is coursing through your body; something that tastes like anger, burns like heartbreak, falls bitter on your tongue like envy.

“Are you okay?” Sasha appears at your side again, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Floch’s such a psycho, I’m not even surprised he picked a fight.”

You nod numbly, eyes never leaving Eren. He finally looks back down at you, none of the heat having left his eyes.

“What the fuck was that?” It takes you a moment to realize that it’s you speaking, you throwing those words up the inches from your mouth to Eren’s. Eren’s face contorts into a frown.

“What do you mean? He was bothering you, wasn’t he?”

“So you try to fight him?” You seethe. Maybe it is anger, this bizarre, foreign emotion tingling at the tips of your fingers. No, that’s not quite it, you’re not angry you’re just…confused. Hurt that Eren’s frolicking around with Breeze, doing whatever he pleases, and yet, he’s jumping into bar fights to save you from the tangible evidence of your past.

“What do you expect me to do when someone talks to you like that?” Eren hisses back, eyes narrowed.

Sasha’s backed away from the two of you now; you’re aware of your friends staring at you, noses scrunched as they try to figure out exactly what’s happening now. You wish you had an answer to give them, but all you can muster is this heartache shooting out of your mouth in the form of daggers.

“I don’t need you,” you spit, “I don’t need your protection.”

“It didn’t exactly look like you had that handled,” Eren scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, and what are you? My knight in shining fucking armor? Don’t you have other damsels in distress waiting for you?” It’s too far, you know that as soon as the words leave your mouth, but the liquid courage Sasha had insisted upon is making your tongue sharper than you’d anticipated.

Eren rears back from where he’s hunched to meet you on your level, nostrils flaring again. Before you can utter another word, he’s got an arm thrown around your shoulders none-too-gently, practically dragging your stumbling feet towards the exit.

“Outside.”