#pogues x reader

[loonylupinblack3]

Powerless

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: extremely toxic!rafe, violence, swearing, many threats issued

Summary: you hate being a Pogue. Hate how vulnerable and weak and powerless it makes you. Rafe reinforces this for you.

Word count: 2.1k

A/N: heavily based off of season 1 episode three of obx when pope is delivering groceries and Rafe jumps him. also the ferrari sf90 spider is actually my favourite car so i yapped about it a lil bit :)

You were helping Heyward load the grocery bags onto the boat alongside Pope and JJ, stacking the bags of food and other knick knacks in the middle of the vehicle. 

“You kids get these groceries over to Figure Eight,” Heyward instructed, grunting as he lifted a pair of heavy bags off the dock and moved over to the boat, Pope, waiting at the ready, taking them from his father. “Get straight back here when you’re done.” He gave you a pointed look. “No fishing.”

You grinned at him, saluting him as you grabbed a pair of bags from him and placed it on the boat. JJ was right next to you, with Pope behind, the three of you working in tandem.

“I promised delivery by this afternoon,” Heyward continued. “Rich folk don’t want to wait for you lazy sons-” Seeing JJ with his arms already outstretched waiting for another bag of groceries and a beaming smile on his face gave Heyward pause. “Oh, JJ, thank you.” As soon as JJ grabbed the groceries he continued. “-sons of bitches.”

He glanced at you. “Excusing you, of course, Y/n. You’re always a delight.”

You beamed at him and JJ gave a scoff. “How come you get all the praise and I get nothing?”

You sniffed, flipping your hair to the side. “‘Cause I’m better.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are-”

Heyward interrupted the two of you. “Hey, alright enough. No bickering. Get your asses moving and deliver these groceries.”

You all gave the man a salute and entered the cabin part of the boat as Pope started it up. Heyward didn’t trust JJ enough to drive the boat and knew you’d end up going the wrong way with your poor sense of direction, so Pope was in charge of steering the vehicle.

You drove through the river, leaving the Pogue side behind and entering Figure Eight, the Kooks domain. You noted the large houses, clean and tidy, and the smooth way they all seemed to be running with enough electricity and clear running water to their heart's content.

“Doesn’t even look like the storm hit there,” Pope exclaimed in indignation. No doubt he was thinking about your own houses, all of them damaged in some way and not yet fixed.

JJ twirled a pocket knife in his hands. “That’s because they got generators, bro. Get used to it.”

You scowled, shaking your head. “And then they say the juice will be out all summer at the cut.”

Pope shook his head, jaw clenched. “Nice to be a Kook.”

You nodded your head in agreement as JJ said, “lucky bastards.”

“One day I’m gonna become a Kook,” you said. “Dunno how yet, but I’m gonna go full Kook, with a pool, mansion, Ferrari SF90 Spider.”

JJ and Pope both groaned as you mentioned your favourite car, again. Sometimes they found you just never shut up about it, going on about the horsepower, the V8 engine, the fact it was the very pinnacle of Ferrari technology, with the thrill and versatility of open top driving.

“Time for you to stop talking,” JJ said, commandeering the conversation. You didn’t mind, content to listen to him for the rest of the way to Figure Eight, where you docked the boat and divvied out the grocery bags between you.

You and Pope were gonna go together, with JJ taking the rest and heading in the other direction. You bid each other quick goodbyes and hurried with Pope, walking around the unfamiliar streets. Everything looked so much nicer here, from the pavement to the shops lining the streets, everything inside looking like it cost more than a week's worth of your pay.

You took a shortcut, walking through the golf course instead of around it. The employees let you through without a second glance. It was surprising what you could get away with as a Pogue working in Figure Eight. The two of you walked on the side of the golf course, talking under your breaths as you looked around cautiously.

“I’m also going to golf here every week,” you stated, watching a particularly fit woman swing a golf club, her muscles flexing with exertion. 

You could almost imagine it being you, the golf club, hat, skirt, everything. If you really thought about it, the girl almost looked like you, similar hair colour and figure.

Pope laughed. “You hate golfing.”

You shrugged, swinging the bags in your hands slightly as you walked. “Yeah, but it's what Kooks do isn’t it?”

“What is your obsession with being a Kook?” Pope asked. “I get being rich, everyone wants it, but you seem almost obsessed with it.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself when movement caught your eye. You involuntarily recoiled when you recognised Topper and Rafe heading towards you. Pope noticed too, muttering swear words under his breath and advising you to just walk past and ignore them.

“Hey what’s up guys?” Rafe asked, putting up an innocent facade. He used his golf club to stop your walking, pressing it to the box of beers in Pope’s hand. “Hey how much for one of those beers?”

Pope turned to the side, trying to push past. “They’re not for sale.”

Rafe made a tutting sound. “Wait, wait, wait.” He stopped Pope as he tried to pass, forcing the two of you to stay there. Topper was standing directly in front of you, creating a barrier of sorts across the pathway. “You can just give us one, then, right?”

You wanted to snap at him. Wanted to ridicule him, ask him if he knew what not for sale meant. You were scared though, and you knew it wouldn’t help you or Pope standing up to him like that.

“Or you can order one like everybody else,” Pope replied, again trying to push past.

Rafe was rougher this time, ignoring Pope’s struggles and shoving him back. The coil of fear in your gut tightened. “Listen. Wait, wait, wait, you’re not listening to me. Um…” he gestured with his hands. “You’ve got so many bro, and we’ve got nothing.”

“Got nothing man,” Topper chimed in.

You scowled. “They’re not ours, they’re already paid for.”

Rafe looked at you, surprised you spoke, and then all of his attention was on you. You regretted even speaking, because his attention was like a guillotine, one wrong movement and the blade would fall.

“Oh, already paid for?” Rafe asked. “Knowing you Pogues, you probably stole them, right?”

Before you could stop him he was in front of you, his golf club snagging at the plastic bags in your hands as he pulled. Everything fell to the floor, and you heard the distinct sound of glass shattering.

“What the hell Rafe?!” You cried. “You owe us for that!”

He laughed, getting all up in your space. “Oh I owe you do I? I don’t owe you shit, Sweetheart.” He grabbed your chin, his fingers forcefully curling around your skin.

“Hey, get off her!” Pope yelled, grabbing Rafe’s shirt and yanking him back. You were grateful for the space, rubbing your jaw as the fear weighed you down, down, down.

Rafe spun around, “don’t fucking touch me you Pogue.”

“Come on man,” Topper said from his other side. They had him surrounded. “We just want a beer.” He made a lunge for it. “Just give us one of these.”

Topper and Pope were full on wrestling with the box now, and the fear was in your throat, especially when Rafe joined in, tripping Pope up and making him fall to the floor with a slam, rolling over a few times.

You gasped, going to him, but Rafe got there first. He had a bruise on his head, looking red and scratched. He scrambled upright, a hatred kindling in his eyes as he threw a punch. Rafe was ready though, avoiding it easily and using his golf club to slam into your friend's stomach. When he was bent over Rafe slammed it down again, Pope crumpling to the floor.

You couldn’t watch it anymore. As he raised his club again you moved forward, shoving him to the side. You only managed to move him because he wasn’t expecting it, and even Topper looked surprised, doing nothing to stop you because really, how much damage can a girl do?

You planted yourself in front of Pope, and when Rafe, laughing in disbelief, walked up to you, you were ready. You swung your fist but it was in poor form, Rafe catching your wrist mid-movement. His grip was tight enough to make you wince.

“Getting involved?” Rafe asked you, moving forward until you were chest to chest. “That’s cute.” His voice was low and mocking. “I thought you were smarter than that.”

You yanked your arm back. That was the second time he’d grabbed you and your skin felt dirty, his fingerprints crawling all over you. Rafe just seemed amused, a cruel delight in his eyes. There was no fear in his expression and why would there be? He was a Kook. He had his friend right behind him ready to defend him if needed. His real competitor was still on the floor, pain immobilising him. No, there was no fear in his expression, only a sick satisfaction of knowing exactly how much control he had over this situation.

Pope gave a groan, attempting to pull himself upright but Rafe didn’t even glance at him. His focus was zeroed on you, the intensity of his gaze making your stomach churn. “What’s it like, being a Pogue? Being powerless?”

You opened your mouth to snap at him, to say something humiliating and knock his ego down a few inches, anything to stand up against him. Rafe seemed to know you too well though, grabbing your jaw in a bruising grip, his fingers cold and rough. More threat than affection. “You’d be better off with me, y’know that?”

It wasn’t a flirtation he spoke to you – it was a threat. You could hear the danger in every word, the treacherous promise that he’d never leave you alone, that this sick game of his would only end on his terms. You could see the lines between desire and control blurring, and nauseatingly realised that Rafe’s affection for you might be even more dangerous than his fists. 

You tried to jerk away, revolution surfacing inside you but Rafe only tightened his grip. “Nah, don’t do that,” he warned almost lazily. “Don’t make me hurt you too.”

You wanted to cry. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to fall. You’d hate to give him the satisfaction of seeing them roll down your face. All of this was a game to him, a test to see how much fear he could wring out of you. The worst part was you knew he would do it, just because he could.

Your gaze darted to Pope, your friend just managing to sit upright. Topper was standing to the side, an uneasy expression on his face. You didn’t want Rafe to escalate things any further, because you knew he would, just to prove a point. He noticed your line of sight and forcibly pulled you closer to him so he could whisper in your ear.

“You’re lucky I like you,” his breath was hot against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. An edge of cruelty laced his tone, as did delight, the same one a kid would get from playing with their toys, which was what you were to Rafe. “Otherwise you’d be right there next to him.”

Before you could answer he shoved you back, hard enough to make you stumble. A sickeningly smug smirk was on his face as he picked up two cans of beer off the ground, chucking one to Topper.

“Catch you later Sweetheart,” he called to you, going as far as sending you a wink, acting like everything had just been harmless fun, which you guessed it was to him.

You watched him saunter away, leaving a mess in his wake that he seemed to do everywhere. Except this time it was worse, because with a sickening dread you realised the next thing he’d leave a mess would be you.

And you suddenly had an answer to Pope’s earlier question. Why did you want to be a Kook so badly? It was simple, really. This whole interaction had just reinforced the feeling that you were too vulnerable, too weak. And the answer appeared from the ashes of Rafe’s destruction, a truth you guarded with your heart.

You didn’t want to be powerless.

[st4rgiirll]

secret

jj maybank x routledge!reader.

this is heavily inspired by that part in friends where everyone finds out about monica and chandler😭 this is also in little segments for each character finding out.

also, some of the events dont match up to the storyline of the show. i just thought of storylines for this fic and incorporated them into this.

synopsis: jj and reader have had a secret relationship for the past couple months, secret all thanks to the ‘no pogue on pogue macking’ rule. but what if the pogues find out on their own?

you loved jj. truly. the past couple months with him have been amazing, though you both yearned to be able to do this in public. but you wouldnt, not with john b around. sneaking around with jj was fun,

of course it was, but it got repetitive very quickly.

until you got found out.

pope:

hushed giggles and rapid footsteps invaded your bedroom as jj and you rushed inside for some very much needed alone time together, lips crashing together between laughs. your hands wandered his biceps, feeling them flex and twitch under your fingers.

it wasnt long before his hands were on the back of your head, tugging your head closer for another kiss. you resisted, thinking you heard footsteps. he grumbled, trying to pull you closer once more.

“c’mon princess, i havent been able to kiss you all day! let me make up for it now.” he mumbled, lowering his head toward your neck.

he sucked and bit at your neck, soothing the slight sting with a swipe of his tongue. he barely got to touch you today, let alone kiss you! he felt like he was going insane.

“jay- just- someone might be coming.” you mumble lowly, tilting your head up to allow him to kiss your neck.

yeah, so what? your resolve was weak when it came to jj, you couldnt help it.

“you’re paranoid, cupcake. jus’ give papa j some lovin’ yeah?” he grins goofily against the supple skin of your neck.

“y-yeah… you’re right.” you agree, allowing your hand that was previously itching to grip jj’s hair finally doing so.

you allowed jj’s kisses to travel up your neck and to your lips, your tongues immediately fighting for dominance. jj sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, fiddling with your crop top’s straps. he pushed the strap to the side, allowing it to fall off your shoulder.

pope, who’d watched jj walk in your room, had swung the door open to ask jj what he was doing in your room. his jaw had dropped, but jj just smirked. until his brain caught up with what was happening, in which his smirk melted off his face and grew into a more flustered look.

“uhm- jj- y/n-“ pope stumbles over his words, eyes wide in shock.

your own face was complimented by a light tint of pink, your hands now resting on jj’s shoulders rather than in his hair.

“well- w-we can explain.” you say, hopping away from jj’s body.

“we’re kind of, like, seeing eachother… in secret though, so please please please… dont tell anyone, especially not jb.” you explain, your eyebrows pulled together in concern.

“y-yeah, yeah.. okay… how- i mean, how are you two together? why?” pope asks, confused.

“well pope, when two people love eachother-“ jj starts before you smack his chest.

“we got together after the midsummers, to be fair jj was pretty tipsy. but we’re really happy together, and he’s great.” you smile.

“and the sex is just as great-“ jj guffaws before you give him a deadpanned look and his laugh dies into more of an awkward smile.

“im uh, im happy for y’all…” pope says, before shooting us a smile and quickly making a break out of the room.

”god, that was so awkward.” you mutter.

kiara:

the both of you were at an infamous boneyard party, maybe a little too tipsy. neither of you cared very much though, just dancing and having fun with your boyfriend, brother, and friends.

you’d excused yourself to go and grab another drink, jj offering to come with you. he followed behind you like a lost puppy, and once you were far enough away from the others he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“y’know why they call this ‘the boneyard’ baby?” he whispered seductively with an even more seductive laugh.

“no, why?” you bit your lip to supress a smile.

“well, obviously because people’d come here all the time for parties. and y’know what they’d do?” he paused for a moment before continuing.

“they’d bone, baby!” he laughed, pulling your hips closer to his own.

“‘nd i think we should do the same… y’know, continue a legacy or some shit.”

“hmm..” you hum.

“i guess… it wouldnt be a bad idea..” you giggle, turning around and holding his face in your hands and pecking a kiss on his lips.

“mm, good girl.” he grins, his head going straight to your neck to suck hickeys onto the skin there all while being too drunk to care about who would see it in the morning.

you let out an involuntary shiver, your arms wrapping around his neck while your fingers fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“jump.” he mumbles huskily, and of course you comply with that tone of voice.

he catches you in his arms, wrapped around your thighs. he quickly takes you away from prying eyes toward the twinkie, pushing you against the door.

“the things you do to me…” he groans, his hand caressing your thigh.

“y’so pretty baby, cant believe i landed you…” he says in a lovestruck tone, kissing up your neck and eliciting a couple of breathy moans from you.

he pulls you away from the door to pull it open, laying you on the floor of the twinkie. within seconds of shutting the door, his lips are back on you sucking and kissing. his hips rolled against yours as his wandering hands pulled the end of your dress up.

“oh baby, y’soaked through your panties… all this mess f’me?” he smirks, fingers playing with the edge of your panties.

“y-yeah, all f’you jay… please..” you whimper, and of course he cant deny you.

he’s completely pussy whipped, and he doesnt mind admitting it.

“i know baby..” he coos.

“i’ll help you baby, my good girl..” he grunts, unbuckling his belt.

you giggled in excitement as your legs instinctively spread further for him, until the door opened and kie stood there.

you were frozen in shock, this was the second time! jj closed your legs, giving you some sort of dignity.

“kie…” he starts.

“oh my god… john b’s actually going to end you.” the frizzy haired girl muttered.

“what? no he wont, im his best friend. he knows i’ll take good care of her.” he shrugs, though deep down he was worried john b would disapprove.

“please, kie.. dont tell anyone, not even sarah… we’re gonna tell everyone eventually, but just in our own time.” you plead, hoping she’d keep this a secret for our sake.

“okay, fine… but you keep being reckless and everyone will find out on their own.” she said, before grabbing what she needed and shutting the door.

and god, you knew she was right.

cleo:

jj was just working at the shop, stocking shelves and working behind the counter. you were supposed to be doing the same. key word: supposed.

see, you were too busy ogling at jj. i mean, how could you not?! he was a total dreamboat with his fluffy hair, his cargo shorts, those damn sleeveless shirts he always wore that made you want to jump his bones. dont even start with the rings.

you figured you must be ovulating because this never usually was an issue, and the dirty thoughts infiltrating your mind definitely didnt help.

“staring’s rude y’know?” he laughs slightly, not even looking up from whatever he was doing from behind the counter.

“i wasnt staring.” you reply, clearing your throat and starting to stock shelves again.

“right, and im not baked all the time. sweetheart, there’s no shame in drooling.” he snickers.

“i am not drooling.” you had to check your mouth to make sure you really werent drooling, the way you were so distracted with him you werent even sure what was happening around you.

“whatever you say.” he sighs, closing the cash register after counting the money. “c’mere darlin’.”

you didnt even fight it when your legs automatically started moving behind the counter, god you were so down bad. and you didnt even care.

you immediately gripped his shirt and pulled him into a passionate kiss, not able to resist him and his damn kissable lips. he let out a surprised grunt, but kissed you back.

this kiss lasted for a couple minutes, blocking every other thing in the world out. you guys were in your own little bubble.

“whatchu doin’?” cleo’s voice sounds out from infront of the counter.

you quickly jump away from eachother, jj scratching the back of his neck. god this was so embarrassing, you seriously needed to get better at this sneaking around bullshit.

“ah, i see… you guys been mackin’ eachother huh?” the girl grinned.

“glad to see y/n’s finally getting some though.” she winked at you.

“ha ha, funny.” you huff.

“please dont tell anyone..” you ask.

“or do, not like it’d make much of a difference. we’re always getting caught-“ jj gets cut off by a slap to the chest.

“shush jj, she should keep it quiet.” you hiss.

“right, yeah. cleo, keep it quiet.” he says.

“huh. rude boy’s pussy whipped.” she huffs out a laugh, walking out of the shop.

“well- wh- are you gonna keep it quiet?!” jj calls our after cleo but earns no response.

john b & sarah:

jj and you were just cuddling, that was all. nothing more, nothing less. there wasnt any sexual intentions behind it, just some romantic cuddles between lovers. and he’d just been beaten by his dad, again, so he needed some extra loving from his girl.

“he’s an asshole, jay… i hate what he does to you, i wish i could kill ‘im for you..” you say softly, carding your fingers through his soft hair.

“i wouldnt let you do that, cant have my pretty girl goin’ to jail for me.” he smiles, kissing your cheek lovingly.

“mm, you’re so perfect jay.. y’know that?” you ask.

“nah sweetheart, i think you’re the perfect one.. have you looked in the mirror lately? i mean, hot damn.” he grins.

you blush, you were never good at accepting compliments. “jay, stop…” you whine a little, covering your face.

“nuh uh… i wanna see that beautiful face of yours.” he pulls your hands away from your face and pecks the tip of your nose.

“much better.” he smiles.

the door swings open, the exhausted couple - john b and sarah - barging through with their small, 3 year old toddler in tow.

“yo jayj, can-“ john b’s voice dies out in shock.

“what the fuck man?!” his voice rings out, sarah placing a hand on his bicep to ground him and remind him of his son still in the room.

“you’re macking my sister?!” john b huffs, the vein in his neck popping out in anger.

“john b- i-it isnt what you think! we arent.. macking! okay?!” you get up to stand infront of john b, blocking his view of jj.

“john b.. we’re dating, jj’s my boyfriend-“

“wow! that’s supposed to make it better?! you’re supposed to tell me, y/n! and jj! my best friend man, what the hell?! could’ve atleast asked for my permission!” john b was so angry, he just wanted the best for his baby sister, wanted to protect her.

he really wasnt ready to see her getting into relationships, having to let her go and be protected by some other guy who wasnt him. a guy who could hurt his baby sister.

“he doesnt need your permission! im my own person okay?! if there’s anyone you can trust with protecting me, its jj! you know that! he’s as loyal as a damn golden retriever!” you defended jj.

it seemed to calm john b a little, sarah was outside the bedroom so the little guy didnt hear the ruckus.

“yeah… god, yeah you’re right… i just- i dont want you to stop being my baby sister, i wanna be able to be the one you always come to when something’s wrong.. i wanna protect you.” john b says softly, he was used to having to protect you since dad had gone to find the royal merchant, and was now dead.

“i know… and you still can okay? you and jj can be like- like guard dogs, huh?” you giggle.

“john b.. man, i love her.. i really do. she’s everything to me. you can trust me.” jj reassures.

sarah comes back into the room once she hears the calm talking between you all, little baby jesse john routledge, or jj as everyone called him, following with a smile.

“so… you two huh?” sarah wiggles her eyebrows, grinning.

“yeah…” you smile, blushing slightly.

“well, i guess… i approve, but if you hurt her maybank-“ john b starts.

“you’ll kill me, i know. i’d kick myself over and over if i ever hurt her, before you could even kill me.” he sincerely reassures.

“well, now that’s over… could you watch jesse for us? we gotta go help out around the store…” sarah asks.

“sure, we’ll look after him.” you smile, picking little jesse up.

jj looks at you with the utmost love in his eyes, and john b knew he’d made a good choice trusting jj with you. john b could see how in love the maybank boy was, it was a look unlike any he’d ever seen on the boys face, and if you knew jj, you knew he was a facially expressive person.

john b smiled, ushering sarah out the door and closing it behind him. all he heard as they left were giggles from the three of us.

[thewriterg]

𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧

Pairing(s): JJ Maybank x gn!reader, Pogues x gn!reader

summary: It didn’t take a rocket scientist or Pope to figure out the chemistry between you and your supposed best friend JJ and finally since you were both eight the tension broke and you were left with bliss

word count: 750+

request: Hey lovely! i will request for JJ a really fluffy morning at the chetau and him telling the pogues she's the one and her kissing and hugging him many times making him blush. thank u for choosing me<3 —@maybankslover—

warning(s): suggestive, morning after type vibe, kisses, everyone is grown up 😊, lots of loving, small mention of jealousy, fluff and language

A/n: —GIFs; @hybridluv— I owe you all so many requests responses please continue to be patient with me 😩 Also happy bhm!

JJ lied awake his head laying on your chest the only thing shielding you and clinging to your body was his T-shirt and your black underwear the blonde found himself rubbing feathered shapes into your skin

You were both covered in a decent amount of marks from the other but JJ upped you quite a bit the once reddish marks beginning to turn purple on his tan skin that seemed to shine under the sunlight seeping through his curtains

JJ found the little strength in his body he had to slip from under your grasp out of the room into the living room of the chàteau

JJ found the little strength in his body he had to slip from under your grasp out of the room into the living room of the chàteau

To say Kie and Pope we’re surprised was an understatement they couldn’t remember the last time JJ had been up before eleven am and here he was awake fully functioning at 10:50am

was he sick?

did he plan on killing someone!?

was he upset?

To say the pair were mildly freaking out was an understatement John B on the other hand didn’t hold the slightest bit of amusement on his face or hidden anywhere in his body language

The blonde maneuvered his way through the kitchen taking a bottle of water and those flip yogurt cups you liked from the fridge his hair tousled

“Have fun last night JJ?” John B called out to his best friend as the blonde looked at him with sheepish look taking his hand and rubbing it against the back of his neck

since when the hell was JJ shy?

“Im sorry man” JJ grumbled while John B rolled his eyes as Pope and Kiara stood confused as the time past

It wasn’t long before JJ turned to walk away and the angle of his body turned into the sunlight that spread throughout the living room hit the littered markings along his chest and torso

Now anybody who was close to the blonde would have thought it was from Luke his malicious father who couldn’t keep his filthy hands to himself off his son but this was different

These marks were pink and purple

not red and blue from bursting veins

And these bruises didn’t mark his face

but rather his collarbones, neck, and trailing down his torso down into the pajama pants he wore which rested on his hips that had faint hand marks that definitely didn’t come from a slap across the face

“You’re together!?” Kie squealed noticing the lack of Your presence around the living room even thought she knew you all came back to the chàteau after the kegger

“Yea and didn’t fail to let me know either going at it like rabbits all night” John B grumbled with the roll of his eyes chugging a water bottle in his grasp while Pope punched his shoulder as The brunette mocked hurt

“I just thought it was time we stopped chasing each other” The blonde shrugged his face becoming warm as he blushed in front of his friends

“Go get them J” Pope encouraged as JJ nodded taking a turn in his step on the way to room he claimed as his

💌💌💌💌

JJ quietly stepped into the room to see you already up scrolling on your phone at the sound of the door your eyes met his blue ones and you couldn’t help but let a small smirk etch it’s way on your face at the markings littering his tan skin

“This is a sight to see every morning” JJ smirked right back at you before handing you the yogurt cup and sitting the water bottle on the nightstand next to his bed before plopping on the bed next to you making your figure bounce

“They know” The blonde simply stated and you just looked over at him before nodding your head the comfortable silence falling over the both of you like a warm blanket in the cool evening

“I want you to know i meant everything I said last night that I loved you, love you more than anything, that we’re in this deep, deeper than the ocean” JJ went from fiddling with his finger to staring at you with puppy eyes filled with admiration

No humor in his eyes

Or mischief

Just pure truth and admiration

“I don’t want you to keep chasing me, we’re in this for real this time” You foreheads rested against one another as you stared into his soul and searched yours

There was no fault

There was no deception

Just pure love

Love deeper than the ocean

💌💌💌💌

I am so Rusty when it comes to writing outer banks 💀 but season 3 comes out on the 23rd! So I’ll have some new content for that

If you would like to be added to outer banks/ or any character from outer banks taglist let me know

[abrunettefangirlnerd]

Apart From You

Request: Reader and JJ are in a relationship despite her father telling her to stay away from him. One day she gets a call from Sarah or Kiara that he’s in the hospital- his dad beat him within an inch of his life. Luckily her dad is somewhere on the mainland for the next two weeks so she can sneak out. She doesn’t leave his bedside for anything but using the bathroom until he can leave the hospital. Maybe he’s in surgery when she gets there, and/or has to have emergency surgery, maybe his heart stops a few times from like internal bleeding or something.

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

Warnings: some language, the beginning of spice that doesn’t lead anywhere, angst but has a fluff ending

Masterslist

“Dad please! Stop!” Your footsteps on the stairs echo along the walls as you storm to your room as your dad rants on and on about how bad of an influence JJ is. Quickly turning around your eyes find his as he starts his ascent up the stairs. “I love him please, try to understand.”

“Sweetheart, I know you think you love him but you’re both too young to understand what that means.”

His voice is softer and the hardness in his eyes melts away. He doesn’t understand. Mom left years ago and he refuses to even think about dating again. It doesn’t matter if you are dating JJ or someone else, he will never approve. You turn around with nothing more to say and plan to stay in your room the rest of the night.

“You are grounded starting now till an undetermined date.” His voice stops you in your tracks. “You can hang out at the country club or anyone else but the pogues and that includes JJ. Consider yourselves broken up.”

               The finality lingers in his voice. You’ve only heard this a handful of times in your life and you know better than to challenge it. There is no negotiating, no changing his mind. The door closes behind you, the sound deafening. You’ve never felt so alone.

You: Steer clear for a while, wait for him to cool down

JJ: Missing you already

               Tears blur the words on your screen. You tell yourself that your dad just needs to cool down. He is one of his moods and he heard about a gun firing off at a boneyard party. It was incredibly stupid of JJ to bring the gun and to actually fire it. But you understand why he did it. John B was drowning at the hands of Topper.

               A week passes and your dad hasn’t let up on the ban. Mostly you just stay at home in your room. You avoid seeing your dad. A day after the ban started, he took your phone so you couldn’t message JJ. He has eyes all over the island that could keep track of where you went, who you spent time with. Dinner time is the only instance you can’t avoid him.

“I have to go to the mainland for two weeks for work.” His eyes bore into yours like he already knows you’re getting an idea. “Ban is still on. Mrs. Sanchez will be checking in on you and you have to tell her if you’re going anywhere. I will still have my eyes on you. But you will get your phone back and I hope I can trust you.”

               You stay silent and continue to eat like you never heard anything. You want your phone back at least so you can contact JJ or any of the pogues. If you still can’t get out to see them, phone communication was the next best thing.

A scraping sound comes our way as your dad slides your phone to you. Your eyes stare at it like it might bite you. Can’t seem too eager for it but you have to be thankful at the same time. Slowly your hand wraps around the device and you slip in into your hoodie pocket.

“Thank you,” your eyes reach his for a respectable amount of eye contact to show your appreciation. “Have a safe trip.”

***

Voicemail #1 : Y/N it is Sarah please call me back! It’s about JJ, it’s an emergency!

Voicemail #2: it’s Kie, Y/N please answer your phone! JJ is in the hospital. It’s not good. Luke… he *sniffles* JJ is in really bad shape.

Voicemail #3: The fact you haven’t answered or showed up means your dad took your phone. Please whenever you get this get your ass over here!

               Your dad gave you your phone last night but didn’t allow a charger till he left the next morning. The girls’ words ring in your ears. The calls are from last night. If your dad gave you the charger you would have known and been there immediately.

               Not caring about the phone now, you leave it behind and grab your car keys. The truck roars to life for the first time in over a week. Tires squeal in a distance, your tires, but the only thing you can focus on is getting to the hospital. Kie mentioned Luke, JJ’s father, which means only one thing. Luke beat JJ, bad enough this time to need medical help.

“JJ Maybank please.” Your voice robotic, in shock.

“Room 0023” the nurse at the front desk informs you. “The ICU.”

               The ICU. That snaps you out of your trance and the next thing you know is you’re running. Passing through the unit doors your eyes skim all the number to find his room. The door is closed and you stop dead in your tracks. Taking moment deep breaths pass in your nose and out your mouth. The beating of your heart is still heard through your ears. Slowly you open the sliding doors to his room, preparing yourself for what you are about to see.

               The room is empty. No bed. No IV pumps. The monitor is set on standby, no one to hook it up to. Why wouldn’t he be in here? The lady at the desk said he was here! What if he is dead? You stop breathing with that last thought before hyperventilating. A nearby nurse notices you in distress and slowly directs you to a chair against the wall.

”Sweetie, he is in surgery.” Her calming voice is a balm in the panic storm of your mind. “Are you related to him?

               You’ve seen this part in movies before. If you don’t say you are in some compacity then they can’t share anything with you. It’s insane because you and the pogues are the family he has but they won’t accept that.

“I’m his cousin… more like siblings really. We grew up together.” The last part is at least the truth. JJ has been in my life since childhood. Were in the same class till your father’s rose up in the company that let you become a kook in middle school. No matter the social status, JJ never stopped being the most important person in your life.

“He was beaten up pretty bad, we suspect a possible hit and run along with a fight. Some facial fractures, a few broken ribs, left femur is broken. Nothing showing up on the scan of his head thankfully. He has some blood collecting in the space around his left lung, the trauma surgeon is placing a chest tube now and they are evacuating blood that is also pooling around his GI tract. But I don’t think they’ll need to wire his jaw shut and I think they’ll be able to take the breathing tube out after surgery as well.”

               The nurse’s words try to settle and make sense but the only thing you can focus on is the fact his own father tried to run him over. A chest tube sounds really serious. A breathing tube? Could he not breathe on his own at one point?

“You can stay in here till they bring him back if you want.”

“Thank you.” You breathed.

               The tears start flowing the second she steps out the door. All the tension and fear is crashing in on you at once. The tension between you and your dad the last week. The worry you always have for JJ getting into trouble without you there to help. The fear that iced your veins the second you saw the room was empty, scared he was dead and you never got to say goodbye. The fear you still have in seeing the full extent of his injuries.

               The sound of wheels and beeping of machines echoes down the hall. A bed pulls into the room with a team of people in blue scrubs. You watch them settle the bed, the pumps, and the monitor before leaving the room. One of the people on the team catches the nurse that spoke to you outside the room and gave what you could only assume was updates on how it all went.

               Your eyes gaze over towards the bed. Getting closer you see JJ laying there like he is asleep. He has a slight crease between his brows like he normally does when he is dreaming. You pray that he isn’t in any pain right now.

“JJ?” You gasp and rush to his side. Taking a seat on the side of the bed instantly your hand finds his while your other runs it’s fingers through his blood matted hair. A sob tightens in your throat as you try to speak. “It’s going to be okay, you’re okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

               The nurse is telling you how the surgery went and that they are just waiting for him to wake up. He got a lot of pain medications before heading over but he is responsive so they aren’t worried about his airway. She is trying her best to explain what things mean and being assuring that they are doing everything to help him. By the look in her eyes you think she knows you’re not actually his cousin but she doesn’t’ say anything and neither do you.

“Do you know how we can get in touch with his father?” She asks you next. Yeah the end of a bottle somewhere, hopefully in the bottom of a ditch.

“I think he is working on the mainland. I forgot my phone so I don’t have the number on me.”

               She leaves you be after that. Occasionally coming in and out as she needs for various assessments and administering medications. You just stay where you are and continue to watch the rise and fall of his chest. Your eyes on occasion falling on the chest tube and following down to the drain.

“Hey princess.”

               Your eyes meet JJ’s. Despite the pain he must be in, he sends his signature smile your way. Instead of smiling a sob escape past your lips. Your free hand tries to shield your face so JJ doesn’t have to see you cry.

“No princess, don’t cry. I’m okay. Promise.” JJ squeezes your hand. “Your dad is going to be pissed you’re here.”

“I don’t care. He is on the mainland for two weeks but even if he wasn’t I’m not leaving here till you do.”

               JJ doesn’t argue with you and you stick to your word. You stay the night there and only leave to use the restroom. Occasionally taking a sponge bath in the sink. The girls bring extra clothes for you when they come visit.

“Careful, I think I’m being spoiled.” JJ groans in satisfaction as you poor some warm water over his head. The nurse gave you a basin with some shampoo so you could wash the blood out of his hair. It has been almost a week and the doctor took out the chest tube yesterday.

“I think you’re entitled to a little spoiling.” Your voice is lighter than it has been in days. Leaning over, you press your lips to his forehead.

“I only want to be spoiled by you.” JJ whispers, his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the warm water and your fingers running through his hair.

               Finishing up, you take a towel and massage his head, trying to wring out as much water as you can before combing it. JJ protests and begs for you to just run your fingers in his hair instead. A request you complete knowing that JJ’s hair has always looked a mess no matter what. Messy is its natural state of being, as is the beautiful boy laying in front of you.

“How did I get so lucky?” JJ’s eyes gaze into yours like his looking at a piece of art.

“I think you’re getting delirious from all the pain medicine.” You can’t help but giggle, letting your hair fall on your face to shield the blush betraying you.

“Don’t hide from me, please.” His words lock up in his throat and you notice a sheen over his eyes. “You’re beautiful, even when you’re embarrassed. I’m sorry about the gun. I will never admit this to anyone else but it was stupid… I’m stupid. It cost me you, anything that does is not worth it.”

               If JJ wanted to say more he couldn’t. Your lips find his with a tender kiss. JJ’s tongue dances across your lower lip, asking for more. Parting your lips you both begin to explore each other. Your body is on fire and JJ is the only thing that can be your salvation. JJ’s hands find your waist and guide you to straddle him. Careful, you maintain distance between your bodies, scared that any change in position could bring him pain.

“I wish I wasn’t in the hospital,” JJ gowls. “Or I’d have you on your back and naked in three seconds.”

“I think you’re overestimat- oh fuck!” JJ’s tongue trails down your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot.

“You were saying?”

               You can hear JJ’s smug smirk rolling off his tongue against your skin. One hand remains firmly on your hip while he trials his fingers so gently up your torso, shivers ignite in their wake. He takes his time, leaving incoherent shapes before reaching his desired destination. Fighting a whimper, you bite your lip as JJ’s hands play with your breast, his thumb ever so gently grazing your sensitive nipple, as his tongue continues at it third favorite spot.

“You’re right,” JJ pants out of breath. “I do like to play with my food before I eat.”

               JJ’s lips leave your neck, refocusing on a new territory. You notice the labor behind his breathing. Glancing up at the monitor you have a feeling that his elevated heart rate is in part for the excitement of being together like this again but also from pain. His warm wet tongue distracts you from your thoughts as it runs down the center of your chest, grazing the inside crevasse of each breast.

“Fuck, I want you so bad.” JJ breathes between every few words. “But I think I have to stop.”

“I’ll let the nurse know you’re ready for more pain medicine.” Your lips brush his forehead, not trusting either of you for another kiss. Carefully and quickly, you climb off of him and head for the door. “When I get back we are watching a trashy hospital cable movie and cuddling. Keep your hands to yourself this time.”

“Movie and cuddling, yes. But the last part is asking too much of me. I have to make up time being apart from you.” His signature wink flies toward you and you can’t wait for the day you get to take him out of this place. Not just the hospital but away from his dad, away from your dad, maybe from the outer banks all together. As long as you two are together and there is no one there to break you apart.

@stu-machers-girl

[becasworldsstuff]

THE POGUES`S FAVORITE GIRL

Her window was never locked and the light on her porch never turned off, her father knew damn well that their house had practically became the pogue`s but he did not entirely mind. Sure, his daughter`s friends weren`t so responsible but she was the best girl anyone, who had the pleasure to talk to her, could meet and with friends like that she was surely the most protected girl in the whole OBX.

The pogues rarely missed a bonfire so whoever went always knew that they will be there, and the best way to find them was searching for their princess, other also call her their queen bee, but truly anyone who was in search of one of them could find em in front, in the back or simply at her side. Since she is one of the most beautiful girl in the whole island and that is secret to no one, her relationship with the pogues members is purely platonic for what's known, but who had tried to talk to her never seemed to be enough interesting for her standards, which is plausible with that many people around her setting the bar so high.

Her laugh music to anyone near her and her smile brightened up anyone day`s but it was not enough, and when the whole entire world seemed to swallow her body when her only thought were her best friends who sided with her on everything, with whom she lived the craziest adventures and sleepless nights.

They had all been talking in front of the fire for a big part of the night, and while the others were fully awake, the tiredness behind her eyes was evident, and so, while her eyes began to close every single one of the pogues watched her in awe and looking at each other, they could clearly understand that having her in the group was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to all of them.

" I think she really is the glue between us, you know? I mean she is all for the safety of the planet" said Kiara " and she is the only girl I can bring myself to tolerate, but not only that, she has this infinite patience that keeps us from exploding and doing stupid things, but I don't think we give her enough credits"

" I think so too and her being a ray of sunshine always helped me" John B said " even my dad adored her, as all parents do, how couldn't you? It's impossible"

They all raised their plastic cups " cheer" "to sunshine?" "To sunshine!" They said whispering to not wake her up.

[alyswritings]

Fire

JJ Maybank x sister!reader

Summary: The chateau gets set on fire.

Warnings: fire, angst

a/n: this idea is from @reader-bookling123. hope y'all enjoy!

(gif not mine)

JJ sits on the couch next to Kie. Sarah and John B retreated to his bedroom a few minutes ago and JJ watches Pope and Cleo go into the other bedroom. He knows Y/N is outside, the girl having said she wanted to lay in the hammock and look out at the lake and stars, it usually helping her fall asleep.

As JJ starts to attempt to apologize to Kie, an orange light outside the kitchen window catches his attention instead.

"JJ?" Kie asks when he stands up. She follows his gaze as she stands up, eyebrows furrowing at the flames. "Is that--"

"Fire. Get them out. Fire." JJ rushes to the room Cleo and Pope are in.

"Guys! Fire!" Kie shouts, barging into John B's room, interrupting the make out session easily leading to something more. "Shit! Sorry. There's a fire!"

"What?" Sarah's eyes widen.

"What?" John B asks, the two getting up and rushing out.

The six friends try to get out, the door too hot to touch.

"Guys!" John B screams. "I got a way out! Come on!"

They all climb out through the window and JJ rushes to the hammock.

"Wha-- Y/N!" He shouts. "Y/N!" The others rush over. "Where the fuck is she? Y/N!"

The pogues yell out for the six year old. Sarah hears screaming, quickly racing to part of the house, finding the child in the window.

"Shit. JJ!" Sarah screams. "JJ! She's in the office!"

The others run over, JJ racing up to the window.

"Fuck!" He yells, trying to run up to the window, but the flames keep him from doing so. "No, no, no." He races to the door, touching the knob, but instantly pulls his hand back as it burns. "Fuck!"

"JJ! JJ!" Kie shouts, pulling him back from the rising flames.

"No, I need to get in there!" JJ yells.

"You can't! There's no way in! It's too late!" Kie yells, her voice cracking as tears well in her eyes.

"No. No, no." JJ mumbles, watching the flames engulf the house.

- - -

Pope walks around, inspecting the damages of the fire. The walls burnt down, only a few pieces of wood left standing. He sighs, frowning when he hears a noise. He looks around and gets a bit closer to the house. His eyes widen when he spots the young girl beneath the rubble.

"Holy, shit." He whispers. "Guys! Guys, I found Y/N!" He screams, getting closer to the girl, the others immediately rushing over.

"You found her?" Kie asks.

"She alive?"Cleo asks.

"She's breathing." Pope says. JJ lets out a deep breath, clutching at his chest as Pope lifts his little sister up.

"Does anybody have their phone? We-- we need the ambulance." Kie says.

"Let's just drive her. That's less time." John B says, the group rushing to the Twinkie. Pope lays Y/N down on the bench in the back of the Twinkie and JJ kneels next to it.

"John B, you gotta go faster, man!" JJ calls out.

"I'm going as fast as I can." John B says.

"Okay. Okay, baby, hey. Hey." JJ softly calls, brushing his sister's hair back. Y/N's eyes flutter open for a moment. "Hey. Yeah, there are those beautiful eyes." He mutters, stroking her hair. Y/N closes her eyes, coughing. "Yeah, cough it out, baby. Hey, I need you to stay awake for me, okay? Can you do that?"

He looks down at movement and sees Y/N's thumbs up. He lets out a watery chuckle and kisses her on the forehead.

"You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay." He quietly says, not sure if he's trying to reassure her or himself more.

The pogues get to the hospital and JJ rushes out, taking her inside. "Hey! Hey! I need help here!"

"What happened?" A nurse rushes over. "Gurney!" She yells out.

"She-- there was a fire. She was inside." JJ says, carefully putting Y/N on the gurney.

"When did you find her?" The nurse asks.

"Like, 20 minutes ago. We drove straight here." JJ says, following them as they wheel Y/N through the halls.

"Okay. You can't go past this point." A nurse holds him back while the others continue to wheel Y/N back.

"N-no. No, I'm her brother. I need to be with her." JJ states.

"Sir, you need to stay back and let us do our job. You need to be checked out, too." The nurse says.

"No. No, I'm fine. You need to focus on her! She's six!" JJ exclaims.

"Okay, sir, we will do our best with her--"

"No, she's not allowed to fucking die!"

"JJ. JJ, hey." John B rushes up. "I got him, ma'am. Sorry. Thanks." The nurse walks back. "Hey. Hey, man, hey. She's gonna be fine, all right? We're right here."

- - -

JJ immediately stands up when a doctor walks out.

"Y/N Maybank?" The doctor asks.

"Yeah." JJ raises his hand.

"She's a very, very lucky girl. It's a miracle she's alive." The doctor says. "We wanna keep her overnight for observation, but she should be able to go home tomorrow."

"Okay, can I see her?" JJ asks.

"Just family. She needs her rest." The doctor says.

"Go. Go." Sarah tells JJ when he glances back at the group. JJ quickly follows the doctor to Y/N's room. JJ goes inside, seeing the girl half asleep.

"Hey, munchkin." JJ softly calls, getting her attention.

"Jayje." Y/N gets a tired but excited smile.

"Hey. How you feeling?" JJ asks.

"Tired." Y/N mumbles.

"Yeah. Yeah, I get that. I'm kind of tired myself." JJ weakly smiles, brushing her hair out of her face. "Last night was scary, huh?" Y/N nods.

"I couldn't get out. The doorknob was too hot and... and the windowsill was painted shut." Y/N mumbles.

"I know. I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner. I should've tried harder." JJ says. "We thought you were outside."

"I went inside when I heard a car pull up." Y/N says.

"You heard a car? Did you see it?" JJ asks.

"It was a truck. Dark truck. I don't know who was driving it." Y/N says. "I just hid in the office in case it was scary men again. Like after you guys got home from that bonfire party you always go to."

"Okay. It's okay, honey. You don't have to remember anything." JJ says. "You just need to get some sleep and feel better. And I'll be right here." He promises, kissing her on the head.

"I love you." Y/N tells him, already feeling herself fall back asleep again.

"I love you, too, munchkin." JJ whispers, gently brushing her cheek with his knuckle, promising to never let her come so close to death again.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl @wildieflower @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @itsmaneskinbitch @mrvlxgrl @star-wars-lover @champomiel @ironmaiden1313

[animalistic0]

You Died and I Became A Corpse (Part 4)

Previous: Pt1 Pt2 Pt2.5 Pt3

Plot: Everything has changed. Nothing will ever be the same. They will never be the same. It’s time to hunt, not just for the stolen treasure but for Revenge and Justice. All the while a darkness looms over each and every one of them. How far will they go? Will it be enough? What will they risk?

*Season Four spoilers!*

OC Maybank twin + platonic Pogues x Rafe Cameron

Warnings: OuterBanks, Beyond Season 4, Death, Description of death, mentions of murder and murdering, violence, guns, shooting, homicidal tendencies, blood, angst, grief, guilt, anger, allusions to abuse, mention of kidnapping, self destructive behavior, negative thoughts, mental health, fluff? This is Dark.

Word Count: 7.3k+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The quiet that clung to them was a stranger turning into a friend. It was as if no one wanted to speak because it would bring them all back to reality. It had only been hours since they buried JJ, and decided to hunt down Groff. John B was driving the jeep, Sarah in the passenger seat as they held each other’s hand. Pope and Cleo were cuddled in the middle seats, leaving enough room for Kiara to sit with them. While Rafe and JC sat in the very back. JC sitting in the seat that her brother had claimed since Cleo stole the jeep. Her knife held in her hands as she stared at it, twirling it along on her finger.

It was common knowledge that the twins were not only reckless but self destructive. However, they always had each other and perfectly balanced and matched each other. Now, JC didn’t have her twin to bring her back from her self destructive spiraling. Her face contorted in anger as she dug the knife a bit harder into her skin as she spun it. Watching in satisfaction as a small amount of blood trickled down. Merging with the dried blood of her brother’s. She wanted more, needed to feel more, she deserved to be punished for not saving her brother. How come she couldn’t save her brother?

A hand reached over and quickly snatched the knife from her hands. JC immediately followed the hand with her eyes before lifting her gaze and glaring at Rafe. His gaze was just as intense as he stared down at her, as if silently daring her to argue or fight back. Grumbling she flipped him off with the finger she had barely cut, before she turned away so he couldn’t see the tears that immediately began falling. It didn’t last long though, a sob escaped her as she curled up on herself. A feeling of panic and dread swirling through her like a tornado. She was leaving him. Abandoning him. “Stop! Stop the car!”

Without being able to focus on the knife or hurting herself, it felt like all she could do was spiral down and drown in everything. One moment more angry than anything, the next more broken than possible. JC didn’t wait for John B to stop the vehicle, she was already hoping out of it and running back down the path they had just come from. How could she leave him? This wasn’t home. Stumbling JC fell to her knees letting out a loud scream as she punched the ground. The pain that reverberated up her hand and through her arm felt grounding. Again and again she punched the ground screaming. She had never felt so lost, so out of control, and so overwhelmed. But the pain from hitting the ground seemed to ground her, seemed to make her think clearly. It was as if the physical pain brought her clarity, gave her the strength she needed to focus on getting justice for her baby brother. Pain was all she knew, was all she deserved. Pain.

JC continued punching the ground, ignoring the sand that flew into her face and eyes. Instead focusing on the pain, the pain each time she punched the ground. The pain of the sand burning her eyes. The way her throat burned from all her screaming. She could hear JJ’s voice, as if he was right beside her; “Breathe June, breathe. It’s okay, focus on me.” She was spiraling and she didn’t know how to stop, didn’t know if she could even stop. Grabbing her head with both hands she hunched over until her head touched the ground. “It’s okay June, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” Shaking her head she gently hit it against the ground. She hated how she could hear him, could feel his hands on her shoulder. It had only been a few hours, how was she supposed to survive the rest of her life without him? “I’m sorry bug. I’m so sorry. Please. Please. I’m sorry.”

The moment JC had jumped from the vehicle John B slammed on the brakes, his arm held out protectively in front of Sarah. Pope was the first to get out of the jeep and was followed closely by Rafe. They had only been driving for less than thirty minutes, each minute dawning on them all. JC had been quiet since they started but they all knew another breakdown was imminent. Rafe passed the knife in his hands to Pope, the two of them sharing a look of understanding. By the time everyone else reached where Pope was standing, Rafe had reached JC. John B was about to rush over to where Juniper was, but was stopped by Pope. “Let him, John. Let him.” The two shared a look before John B nodded, pulling Sarah into his arms and hugging her like his anchor. Pope pulled Kiara into his arms as she was silently sobbing with her hand over her mouth. Cleo stood between them, her eyes watching JC as her heart continued to break. “We need a plan.”

Rafe slowly knelt down next to JC, his eyes softening as he noticed the cuts she now had on her knuckles. He placed his right hand on the ground, sliding it so it was underneath her forehead. Preventing her from hitting her head on the ground, and instead on his hand. He could hear how she was mumbling apologies, and knew that she was probably talking to JJ. Rafe honestly didn’t know what to do, he was scared to pull her into his arms and hold her. Worried that it would set her off and she’d get violent, or that she would break down even more. He just knew that he wasn’t going to let her be alone, or hurt herself. He had picked up on her self destructive tendencies while they were held hostage together, and ever since he had paid close attention. That night on the beach when she continued walking up and down, till the point she was stumbling he knew then that she was moments away from hurting herself.

This was different though, there was still hope that JJ and Sarah could have lived. They did too, but this was permanent. She saw him die, held him as he took his last breath, and buried him within the earth. There was no hope, nothing but the promise of revenge that she could hold onto. Even then Rafe didn’t think it would be enough to get her through. It was nothing but terrifying to see such a strong person just completely break apart. Rafe felt useless, and he hated feeling like that. He was supposed to be in control. To have all the control, but life never gave you what you wanted. His relationship with the Pogues was always pretty shitty, but he’d do anything to bring JJ Maybank back. To save these individuals from suffering, to save his sister, and the girl he couldn’t help but care for.

“Get up big sis. You gotta get up, June.” JC smashed her hand onto the ground again, as JJ’s voice sounded throughout her head. Lifting her head up she made eye contact with Rafe Cameron who was staring down at her with wide eyes. Juniper inhaled sharply as she sat back on her knees, wildly looking around as she attempted to ground herself. The pain reverberating from her fist up her arms, made it easy for her to shift through her thoughts. Though it was just full of JJ’s voice, and everything she could imagine him telling her. “It’s not your fault, JC. It’s not your fault.” JC couldn’t help the strangled sob that left her, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t keep going with his voice dancing around her mind. “Make it stop. Please stop. I’m sorry Jay.”

Juniper flinched as arms wrapped around her and she was pulled into a chest. She didn’t fight it, as she turned and sobbed into the embrace. “Let it out, JC. Let it all out, it’s okay. I got you.” She cried harder as she heard Rafe whisper those words in her ear. It wasn’t okay, and it would never be okay again. JJ was dead. “I can’t do it. I just can’t Rafe.” She couldn’t live without her brother, how could she live without him? JC would do anything to go back and change what happened, she can’t believe she let him die. “You can JC. You’re strong, you’ve always been strong. You’ll make it, and you have us. You have always had us, and you’ll forever have us.”

The one upside of dealing with abuse your whole life? Perhaps it’s two upsides, but being able to compartmentalize and dissociate. JC could feel herself beginning to dissociate and she welcomed it. All the drowning emotions slowly faded away, and she felt nothing. Empty, as the world seemed to slow down. She could feel Rafe holding her, but it felt far away. Slowly blinking, she pulled away from Rafe, and she felt spacey staring at random things without blinking. Her mind empty, as she felt numb. It was probably going to be the only way she’d get through this, a lot of dissociating, and just focusing on her anger and the darkness within her.

Rafe gently held her face between his hands as he stared into her dead glossy looking eyes. He knew she was dissociating, he in fact had suffered from dissociation throughout his life, especially in the more darker parts of his actions. Rubbing his thumb in a soothing circle, he tried to gently coax JC back to him. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” Before it hit him that maybe it was the best to let her be. That she needed this after everything that had happened within the past few hours. Glancing over his shoulder he watched as the group huddled over the hood of the jeep, looking as if they were in a heated conversation. Before turning back towards JC and gently helping her up from the ground. Rafe held her hand, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders guiding her over to the jeep. “We don’t have money, that’s our first worry. Transportation.”

“We can take Terrance’s boat. We just have to beat the Corsairs to the boat.” JC spoke with no emotion, lifting her eyes to meet those around her. She could see the hesitation but also the realization that it was a decent plan. Pope nodded, staring right into her eyes and she knew he was trying to read her. Figure out what was going on, and where she was at. “It could work.” John B softly responded, staring at her just as deeply as Pope. “Duh, it’s a great plan.” Rolling her eyes, JC pulled herself free from Rafe’s hold moving forward to the drivers seat of the jeep and wasting no time getting in and starting the vehicle. Once everyone was in the vehicle she drove off, shoving the ache she felt in her chest down and away.

Pope sat in the passenger seat, Cleo sitting behind him, with John B and Sarah cuddled together beside Cleo and behind JC. Kiara sat in the very back, in JJ’s previous seat with Rafe sitting where he had been originally. JC tapped her thumbs on the wheel, as she stared ahead. “What kind of a lead do you think he has on us?” JC asked as they passed the well, where she wished she had killed him, where Groff should have fucking died. “At least five hours. Which means he could already be on a boat or plane.” JC nodded her head at Pope’s reply, before she pressed down harder on the gas. Her tapping stilling as she listened intently to the directions Pope was giving her.

“Aye kook did Groff say anything else?” JC glanced behind her as Cleo addressed Rafe, her eyes noting how everyone focused on Rafe at the question. Rafe rolled his eyes sitting up as he glanced at everyone, and JC could tell that he could feel the distress from them all. “Just that he has a buyer in Lisbon, that was it.” Silence filled the jeep as everyone began thinking, before Pope punched the dashboard of the vehicle screaming out; “Fuck!” JC nodded her head, biting her lip as she tighten her grip on the steering wheel. Before she could stop herself she quoted her brother, words he had spoken a few weeks ago when they were hired to find a necklace; “Are we really going to worry about the details right now?”

“Thinking never helps when you already have the idea.” Pope spoke softly, nodding his head as tears filled his eyes. For a second, just a second, it felt as if JJ was still with them. His impulsive but lovable self, still with them. Perhaps they were all loosing it, or already had, but soft laughs escaped them all. Even JC couldn’t fight the laugh bubbling within her, even though it wasn’t even funny. Which was probably why Rafe was staring at them all with a concerned expression. “We get Terrance’s boat, and then we get to Lisbon. The details get figured out in between.” JC nodded in agreement to John B’s declaration, right now for the sake of all of them they needed to focus on smaller tasks, achievable tasks.

They ditched the vehicle right outside the city limits of Essaouira. Before continuing on foot, towards the wharf where Terrance’s boat was moored. For the safety of the group, and quick escape, Pope, Cleo, and JC were to go ahead and secure the boat. Once the boat was secured they were to sail it out of the wharf, and meet the rest of the group at a further location. While John B, Sarah, Kiara, and Rafe were in charge of getting provisions and other necessities. Weapons included.

It was silent, Pope, Cleo, and JC focused on the task set upon them. JC kept her hands clenched in fists, as she watched Pope flinch at every little noise. As if a darkness was following him, and was seconds away from swallowing him whole. It was strange to see her best friend, who was so usually leveled, besides a few moments, acting like this. During the drive she had felt herself come back, not completely but she wasn’t completely gone either. Right now JC was trying solely to focus either on her anger or on her friends, it was the only way she could keep moving. She was walking behind Pope and Cleo, watching them like a hawk. “We’re Pogues, June. All we’ve got is them. And nothing to lose.” JC felt her breath hitch as she turned her head, her eyes connecting with those of her twin. He was there, right in front of her, as real as anything. She could feel his breath against her skin, against her ears as he spoke to her. JC blinked opening her mouth to speak, only to find that JJ was gone once again.

“JC? JC, you okay? What’s wrong?” Slowly JC turned her head to stare at Pope, who stared worriedly at her. His own fists clenched as if he was hesitant to reach out and touch her. “N-nothing.” She stuttered out. How could she look him in the eye and tell him that her twin was just right there. That JC had been seeing and hearing JJ since he died, which had only been hours in the long run but still. She didn’t need her friends worrying that she was going to have a physiological breakdown, when they needed to hunt down Groff and the crown. JC could keep herself in check until then, at least she hoped she could. “Common let’s go Pope! Are you okay?” JC forced herself to straighten up, to inhale like everything is okay before she paused noticing how flustered Pope was.

“I murdered a man. I killed Lightner, so Cleo didn’t have to.” JC pursed her lips, before nodding her head and grabbing Popes hand. She glanced around for a moment, spotting Cleo pausing and resting against a wall, allowing them a moment. Facing Pope, JC smiled softly trying to offer the best comfort she could. “Look at me Pope. You are not a murderer. He wouldn’t have hesitated to kill Cleo or you. You did what you had to do to survive. It was self defense. You protected yourself and you protected Cleo. It was either him, or one of you. Pope you’re an amazing person. You are my best friend. You are a survivor, and you’re a protector. You did what you had to do, Pope. You survived. There is no shame in that, and I don’t see you any differently. You’re still my nerdy, levelheaded, only crash out sometimes, sweet, lovable, caring, Wise Boy.” JC let out a weak laugh as she held his cheeks so he had no other choice but to look into her teary eyes. She remembered when they first sat down and read the Percy Jackson series together, both of them adopted the nicknames Percy and Annabeth had, for each other. “I just told you I killed a man, that I’m a murderer? How do you make that seem okay? How are you not panicking?”

“Pope. We’ve been walking the tightrope since we’ve been sixteen. It was only a matter of time before one of us directly killed someone. I know you, I know who you are and what you stand for. You could never scare me away, could never make me abandon you. I made it seem okay because it was self defense, I don’t even need to know the whole story to know that. He was a murderer and wouldn’t have hesitated to kill Cleo or you. Pope, you chose Cleo and you chose yourself. That’s why I’m not panicking, because you’re alive. You’re here.” The silence that followed spoke volumes. The heavy grief that settled within them like it was home making itself known at her words. She wasn’t panicking because she was relieved that they were alive. That she didn’t lose them. “Thank you, Seaweed Brain.” JC clutched Pope like he was her life raft in a storm as they hugged. The two of them needed this small moment more than ever. They had more they needed to talk about, but for right now this was enough. As they pulled away they weakly laughed at each other, before further shoving apart.

JC walked over to Cleo as the girl pushed herself off the wall. Slinging her arm over her friend’s shoulder they leaned on each other as they continued on. Pope walked behind them, a small sad smile on his face as he watched two of the most important women in his life leaning on each other during their moments of grief. Cleo had gotten her revenge and justice for Terrance, and now she wanted that for JJ but she knew JC was obligated to it. She knew JC required that revenge because Cleo had needed it just as bad. From the moment Terrance had been murdered, it was essential that Cleo got revenge. She needed it more than oxygen, or water, or any other substance that sustains life. Cleo knew JC was the same, no matter how many mental breakdowns the girl would have in between. JJ was her whole life, and Cleo had never seen individuals as close as the Maybank twins were. “How’s your shoulder Cleo?”

“It’s find. Stings but I’ll live.” JC nodded her head as she sucked in her left cheek in thought. She was trying to constantly keep her mind busy to find something to focus on whenever it became silent. “We’ll check it once we’re clear.” JC didn’t leave any room for argument as she dropped her arm from around Cleo. Her eyes checking around the area as she spotted the boat. There was no movement near, around, or on the boat which she took as a good sign. They had beaten the mercenaries back to the city. However, the trio ducked down behind some barrels and studied the boat. Before JC gestured towards the vessel with her hands; “Keep watch, I’m gonna go see if it’s clear.” She didn’t give them anytime to refuse before she was standing and bounding off.

JC kept herself low to the ground as she moved steadily towards the boat. Her heart was calm as she snuck over to the boat. This was what she craved, moments of high tension because it brought life to her. For it was all she had ever known, between Luke abusing JJ and her. His behavior always unpredictable and intense, to just them being Pogues and constantly on the run from Kooks or other people on the island. Running and high stakes had always been a normal for the Maybank’s, and the twins always thrived in those moments. Pulling at her fingers before rubbing at her chest, an anxious and overwhelmed trait she shared with JJ. Juniper took a breath she wasn’t anxious about sneaking onto the ship. She was worried about her friends, she was anxious about her brother, and she was furious about Groff. Slapping her chest, she winced in pain as it shot up her cut and bruised up hands.

Exhaling in relief she glanced around as she made it onto Terrance’s boat. Standing up JC bit her lip as she rubbed at her chest. Just less than a day ago they all had been here, JJ had been here. How fast everything can change…Rubbing harder at her chest JC forced herself to take a breath her mind wandering to her friends, to Pope and Cleo who were waiting for her. To John B and Sarah who were going to be parents. Sarah had asked JC to be the godmother, at the same time John B was asking JJ. It was the perfect gift that her best friends had given her during the hard time she was going through. Her mind flashed towards Kiara, the girl who was basically her sister-in-law, or just her sister. Kiara was the light in JJ’s life and he’d cherished her more than anything. Juniper knew he struggled to show it as some points but Kiara was his everything, she was his soulmate. JJ, her little brother who just hours ago was full of life. “The mission June. Focus on the mission.” Her eyes drifted over to her brother, who stood across from her. He looked alive and full of energy like he had before he died. She knew it wasn’t real, that he wasn’t real but JC couldn’t bring herself to let him go. If this was the only way she could have him now then she would take it. “Okay.”

Her whispered word hung in the air as she immediately began moving about. She hurried over to the spiral stairs. Peaking her head into the stairwell and glancing up. It was clear, of course it was the whole boat was probably clear but they couldn’t be too careful. Glancing behind her shoulder she found the spot JJ had been standing only it was empty now. She felt her shoulders sag in defeat, he seemed to appear when she needed him but she always needed him! “Common slow poke! I know your grandma knees can move.” Snapping her head forward she caught a glance of JJ running up the stairs. Shaking her head, JC couldn’t stop the snort that left her as she chased after him.

As she made it to the bridge of the boat, JJ was once again gone. Bitting her lip JC shook her head as she marched around the control room looking for the keys. She jumped as she heard commotion nearby, most noticeable Pope and Cleo screaming her name. Rushing over to the deck door she threw it open, her eyes immediately landing on Pope and Cleo as they were sprinting towards the two boats they needed to climb over to reach this one. Glancing behind them she immediately knew what the panic was about, stepping back inside she looked for the keys. Before letting out a yelp as she found them, shoving them into the ignition she turned them and smiled as the boat rumbled to life. Placing her hands on the wheel, she leaned back hoping her friends would hear her over the gun fire that just started. “Pope! Cleo! Hurry your asses up!”

JC clenched the wheel straining herself to hear the signal from her friends. A sharp three toned whistle sounded, and JC wasted no time in grabbing the throttle and shoving it down. The boat lurched forward with a groan before gaining speed, as JC manned it with precision. Her eyes shot back and forth like a pendulum as she maneuvered them out of the wharf and into the open ocean. Her heart clenching as every gunshot echoed out and occasionally metal against metal. As the sound faded she heard footsteps approaching. Her heart immediately calming as she recognized both sets as Cleo and Pope. “What the hell happened guys!?”

“You don’t want to know.” JC glanced over her shoulder at Cleo who slouched against the desk. Her friend looked flustered and exhausted as she breathed deeply. Glancing forward JC lowered their speed a bit before she turned her head to glance at Pope. He looked no better than Cleo, but instead of being flustered he looked angry. “I do wanna know that’s why I asked Cleo. Are you both okay?” JC wasn’t trying to be sarcastic but as soon as the words came out she could hear the sarcastic note to them. Though all sarcasm was lost to concern as she eyed her best friends looking for fresh injuries. “After you ran off Cleo and I kept an eye out for the mercenaries. Hell just anyone who might be out for us. It didn’t take long for us to spot the Corsairs. Rafe did a number on some of the guys, but they were armed to the teeth.” JC nodded her head as Pope took a breath and leaned forward to rest on his knees. “So we tried to sneak away.” JC shifted her focus over to Cleo as the girl spoke. Her friend shifted her posture to lean forward as she angrily gestured towards Pope. “This idiot had to hit a bucket holding a bunch of oars and they all went clambering down. I grabbed his arm and we began running for the boat. Screaming for you, only to have them mercenaries start shootin.”

“Okay. Well I’m glad you’re both alive. Let’s get your shoulder cleaned and bandaged. Hopefully the others are having better luck.” JC nibbled on her lip as she slowed the boat down some more, to a safe enough pace that she could walk away from it for a moment. She pulled the first aid kit off the wall, placing it on the table as she made Cleo sit down. Her gaze moving forward for a second before focusing on Pope. “Well wise boy, you wanna fix our girl or shall I?” Cleo snorted as JC offered a small smile as Pope lifted his head and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Stop tryin’ steal my girl.” JC smirked as she patted Pope on the shoulder moving back towards the wheel, “Our Girl.” JC‘s mouth twitched as Pope huffed and she knew he was rolling his eyes again.

“You’re doing good, Big Sis. Don’t stop.” Juniper glanced out of her peripheral as JJ spoke to her. Her grip on the throttle tightened as she could feel his warmth and smell the scent of home coming off of him. As his hand reached out for hers she followed his movements with her eyes. The moment his hand rested atop her right hand she felt it, and her grip on the throttle loosened. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at JJ. “Shhh, don’t cry June.” JC bit her lip hard enough to draw blood to prevent the sob that was building from escaping. She watched with teary eyes as JJ brought his other hand over and wiped the escaping tears. JC leaned into his touch her eyes squeezing shut as she savored his comfort. “Jay…I need-”

“Juniper, you alright?” JC whimpered as she opened her eyes. She knew he was gone before she opened her eyes though, the feeling of him, of his touch, of his presence rapidly faded. Sniffling she turned back ahead as she nodded her head while simultaneously wiping her face with the back of her hand. The hand her brother had been holding seconds ago. She didn’t think Pope or Cleo heard her words, they had been spoken so softly but she didn’t doubt they had seen her. She didn’t know which was worse, or which looked worse. Probably her facing and leaning into the presence of something not there. Clearing her throat JC inhaled deeply, “I just miss him. But I think we’re here.” She didn’t want to have that conversation right now, to face that pain because it was too much, too fresh, and she knew she didn’t have the strength to face it. Running away and avoiding it was easier. Focusing on revenge, was easier than allowing the pain and guilt in.

“I miss him too, JC. Pull over there.” JC felt thankful for Pope, for her best friend. He knew what she meant, what the unsaid words that hung between them were. His hand rested on her shoulder as he offered her comfort and comradeship, before lifting his other hand and pointing in the area he wanted her to dock. Following his direction she began maneuvering the boat only to stop as she saw a figure in the distance waving their arms in haste. “Is that-”

Pope followed her line of sight and squinted cutting her off. “Kie?” JC pulled the throttle back further bringing the boat to a crawl speed of a sloth. “Holy hell I think that’s Kie. I think she’s saying stop.” Pope immediately began moving his hands flying around as he mumbled on about binoculars. Cleo also began helping Pope look for the tool as JC watched on with wide eyes. The boat slowly crawling forward. “Pope! Cleo! It’s them and they have company.”

Of course nothing could ever go smoothly. I mean it was them, it was the Pogues, and bad luck just clung to each of them like ticks. It didn’t take long for John B, Sarah, and Rafe to appear behind Kiara -seconds really- and they all looked panicked. The moment JC mentioned what she saw Pope and Cleo were by her side, both of them exasperated. JC couldn’t stop the light giggle that left her as Cleo and Pope spoke at the same time; “Cheese on Bread.” and “Can’t leave them unsupervised for a minute.” JC glanced around forming a plan in her mind quickly. “I mean we didn’t do much better Wise Boy. Now I need you to go down and meet them Pope, after I turn the boat around.”

“You do what!?” JC shook her head, planting her feet as she gripped the wheel. “Hold onto something.” With that as the warning JC gave the ship some speed before she began roughly turning the wheel. JC bit her lip ignoring the taste of iron as the turn went smoothly. “Go Pope! Go.” JC grabbed Cleo’s arm as she went to go run off with her boyfriend and held her back shaking her head at her friend. “Pope’s got ‘em. I need you to let me know when we’re clear m’kay?” JC let Cleo go when she nodded, and silently they both moved to their designated positions. Cleo standing in the doorway, just enough to see when all their friends made it aboard, but also close enough to communicate with JC. While Juniper stayed manning the controls, her left holding steady on the wheel as her right fiddled with the throttle. JC kept her gaze steady, while her breathing was another story. It felt as if taking a breath was hindered by a brick wall on her chest. Adrenaline pumping through her veins as her limbs twitched in anticipation. It was both vigorous and tiring.

“Clear, Crazy Girl. Go! Go! Go!” Immediately JC slammed the throttle down wincing as she heard groans from Cleo and some from down below. She would apologize to her family later, right now she was responsible for getting them to safety and she was going to achieve that. JC kept both hands on the wheel as she navigated the wild waves off the coast of Morocco. Cleo moving to her side as she started messing with the navigation system. “Setting a course for Lisbon.” JC turned her head to glance at Cleo, before leaning over and squeezing the girls hand. The squeeze was reciprocated before JC moved her hand back to the helm. “Are those gunshot holes? What the hell happened?”

“What happened with us? What happened with y’all?” JC glanced over her shoulder as she spoke, her eyes immediately analyzing her friends to make sure they were okay. JC jumped as Pope appeared on her other side and slowly lowered the throttle. “Hey! Don’t touch my controls.” JC slapped his hand as she glanced at him, only to slap his hand away again as he made a move to touch the throttle again. “We can slow down now, seaweed brain.” Narrowing her eyes JC slapped both of Pope’s hands as he made another move for the controls. “I’ll turn this ship-” JC was cut off as Cleo spoke with warning in her tone, “Aye!” JC moved her hand away from Pope just as he moved his hand away from the controls. Both of them glancing at Cleo with innocent eyes.

“Well unlike you guys, we didn’t get shot at. Just chased…After we got the supplies we needed!” JC turned her attention towards John B as he spoke, and out of the corner of her eyes she saw both Cleo and Pope turn at the same time. The couple crossing their arms in sync as they stared expectingly at their friend. Nodding her head JC did another check on her friends, this one more thorough and intense than the first one had been. John B had acquired a few new scratches and was missing his head piece. Other than that he looked alright for what he had been through. Sarah while still beautiful had slightly sunken in cheeks. Between only having an apple for the past day, and the stress she had been under was clearly hitting her and the life forming within. Sarah needed a proper nutritious meal and immediate bed rest. Kiara looked enervated. Her shoulders slumping as if keeping her posture good was too much. JJ’s necklace was around her neck, and JC felt her chest tighten as her own matching necklace seemed to weigh her down. Kiara’s hands were cleaned of blood, allowing JC to see the many scratches that covered them. All of them were new. Forcing her eyes to move on, because other wise she’d hyper fixate on her own hands. The dried blood that still stained her skin both from JJ and herself. JC glanced at Rafe who stood in the doorway of the bridge. She couldn’t blame him, last time he was in a confined space with them he was knocked unconscious. He didn’t look all that beat up, similar to John B he had gained a few new scratches.

“We got caught stealing again, and had to run from the officials. We had more supplies but had to drop a bag for distraction.” JC nodded as she met Sarah’s eyes. It didn’t matter, as long as they were all okay. “What did we get?” Juniper watched as the four individuals in front of her eyed each other at Pope’s question. It was Rafe who stepped forward clearing his throat as he stood next to Sarah. “We split up, thought it was the smart decision y’know. Kiara and I got weapons, knives, machetes, and two handguns.” JC lifted her hand to run over her face but paused as she saw the blood. Lowering her hand she took a breath as she nodded. She didn’t know what they’d do with machetes but the other weapons sounded good, and anything would work in actuality. “We j’got a bunch of fruit, and some clothes.”

“That’s perfect JB, we can fish for our dinner if needed. Though hopefully they’ll be some food left in the kitchen.” A collective hum sounded from the group, as everyone took a moment to reflect. Together Kiara and JC turned their attention to Sarah and spoke at the same time; “You need to sleep.” and “You need to eat.” Both girls turned towards each other and stared silently as if fighting a battle. The guilt the both of them felt was palpable, especially when looking at the other. They both knew JJ wouldn’t want them to avoid the other, but they couldn’t face each other yet. At least officially.

Kiara blamed herself for letting JJ die, for not doing enough to save her soulmate. She blamed herself for JC having to watch her other half die. She should have fought, because she could have saved both of them. Her best friends and she failed them both. Kiara blamed herself because she knew JC wouldn’t blame her and it wasn’t fair. JJ died saving her, which simply made it her fault.

JC blamed herself because she could have saved JJ. She immediately had a bad feeling about Groff and yet she let her baby brother push her out of the way. It should have been her. She was the older sister, it was her job, her duty, her choice to protect her brother and she failed. She didn’t blame Kiara, she never could because she knew how much her friend loved her brother. It was JC’s job as the older sister to protect her brother and she failed, which simply made it her fault.

John B nodded as he wrapped his arm around Sarah’s waist deciding to break the awkward tension. “I’ll make her something to eat, and then we’re gonna go lay down.” JC raised her eyebrows as she glanced at John B, he could make some livable dishes. Much better than Jay ever could but in this family the women simply outdid all the guys. Besides Pope, who could make some mean dishes. It seemed everyone agreed, even Rafe looked baffled at John B’s declaration. “No way I’m leaving you in charge of Sarah and the poguelet. Kiara why don’t you make Sarah a healthy meal, and then all three of you get some rest. Pope and I will man the ship.” JC turned towards Cleo bamboozled that she was getting booted from captaincy. “You need t’rest too.” JC rolled her eyes but nodded, patting Pope and Cleo on their arms as she passed them. Pulling John B and Sarah into a short group hug, before gently squeezing Kiara’s hand as she walked outside. Inhaling deeply JC climbed down to the lowest deck, and sat at the front of the ship.

“Why Rafe?” JC whispered as she gazed up at him as he approached her. It was a loaded question, but the main inquiry was why he kept coming back. Her eyes following him as he knelt down in front of her, holding his hands up in a peaceful manner. “Because you were the one to tell me my dad died. You went out of your way when y’all made it back to let me know what happened. Even when I went off, and screamed at you. When I told you horrible and terrible shit, you were there. You didn’t walk out. No. No.” Rafe shook his head as he pursed his lips, his gaze softening as he looked up at JC. He wanted her to know he meant everything he was saying, that he appreciated her more than anything. “No, you walked towards me and held me as I cried. Even after everything I had done, to Pope, to JJ, to you. You didn’t leave me when I was in pain, when I was mourning. And I won’t abandon you.”

“Rafe, we’ve hooked up a few times. I still don’t completely like you-or I don’t know. I owe you for saving my life, but you’ve done horrible things to my friends. You stole the cross from Pope, then melted it down!” JC was confused about his words it was too sweet, too kind, something she didn’t deserve. Not only that the guilt she held from hooking up with Rafe, for feeling anything other than hate had always eaten away at her. “And you stole three bars of gold and two diamonds from me. I would call that even, darling.” JC shook her head with a scoff, the audacity of him. “No! Not even close, you’ve attempted to kill all my friends, and myself-” JC was cut off as Rafe gently placed a finger against her lips. Effectively shutting her up. “I know, Juniper. Pope has tried to kill me…LOOK that’s not the point. I’m working on being better, on doing better. Since Singh everything with you has been different. There’s this connection that I can’t let go. Then with everything that has happened, it’s only grown stronger and I know for a fact that I won’t abandon you. I won’t let your fear of being alone come true.” The conviction in his voice made JC feel overwhelmed, and she couldn’t decide if it was the good or bad overwhelmed. “Rafe.” His name was a whispered plea from her lips as she stared at him. She didn’t know what she wanted him to do, or what she wanted to happen. “Stop. You don’t have to forgive me or say anything JC. Just let me be here, let me be here for you. Just for now, and later if you still feel the same. Still feel like you hate me and can’t stand me then I’ll go. I promise.”

“Okay.” It was all she could offer. All JC could think to say as she nodded her head. Rafe dropped his finger as he moved to her right side, scooting over to give her personal space. He laid down on his back, as he watched the sky, JC watched the ocean. It was silent between them, neither one wanting to break the comforting silence that lived between them. It was just enough to know that neither of them were alone, and that they had a companion when they faced their demons. It didn’t take long before JC heard soft snoring to her right, accepting the tiny smile that formed she glanced over at Rafe who was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful, as if the world had yet to harm him. It amazed her how he could go from such a tough macho man to a peaceful soft boy when he slept. JC stared at him for a moment longer before facing forward, her mind drifting to her brother.

“Nothing can stop a Pogue. Nothing!” JC smiled widely as she turned to stare at JJ who was sitting to her left. They had done it. They got the boat, got the supplies they needed, and now were on the way to Lisbon. She was at the front of the boat, as she had wanted some alone time after all the near death experiences during their escape. Though Rafe followed her, and refused to allow her to be alone. He now laid fast asleep to her right. Everyone was as okay and safe as expected. JC titled her head as she rested it on her knees, watching as JJ excitedly spoke about their wins. Reaching her hand out she watched as his figure disappeared like a ripple in water. “Nothing can stop a Pogue, little brother. You’re right. Absolutely Right.”

[xx-metanoia-xx]

I Hate It Here

Summary: Y/n has been stuck at her job at the library all summer, missing her friends. The Pogues come to cheer her up.

Pairing: Pogues x Reader

Warnings: mention of an adult man being a creepy

Word Count: 2.3k

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Separating fiction, nonfiction, and fantasy, etc: has been my summer. I had gotten the job at the library, around September of my junior year, hoping to get money to repair my car and well they suckered me in with ~Christmas bonuses~. So I’m here 2 years later, 17 years old, sitting in a nice air conditioned library while all of my friends are running around Kildaire. Basically locked in the public library without friends, but the upside was that I get paid 15 dollars an hour, so at least I’m making money.

Today, has just felt off since I woke up. Maybe it was from the hardcore partying from the night before, the atrocious hangover, or maybe because there was a guy who looked to be 40 just sitting in the library all morning and all afternoon, not even reading but scrolling on his phone and staring at me.

I avoided the man with dedication. He would move closer to my desk? I was now putting books on the shelf down the hall. I was at the printer, printing, and he would sit at the computer by it? I would go to the bathroom. He was like the plague, and I tried my best to avoid him. Until, he had walked up to my desk.

“Can you help me find a book?” the man said, peering down at my sitting figure.

“Yuh, yes! I can look it up on here! What author, genre, title, or anything, would you like me to look up?” I say with a smile, trying so hard to be nice.

“Do you guys have any, like, you know, “ he replies, “types of magazines or books?”

Baffled, absolutely baffled, is how I look at him.

“Sir this is a public library.” I responded still shocked.

“Yeah, but you guys still carry magazines. Do you have them or not, beautiful.”

Utterly disturbed by this old man calling me beautiful, I begrudgingly search what he is asking on the computer.

“Sorry nothing is coming up for it.. Is there anything else I could find for you?” I say, looking up from my computer at him.

“Um, do you have an adult novel section or anything?” He says moving closer to my desk.

“Yes it’s right upstairs, section 214!” I respond while pointing to the stairs.

He mutters a thank you before walking away. I go back to sorting the return books when my phone turns on, after hours of being dead. I grab it realizing that I've missed a lot of text messages. I don’t have it in me to read all 100+ texts so I read like the last 30.

Group Name: That's Squad, That’s Fam, That’s P4L

Mybank (JJ): what is everyone doing right now, it so fucking boring just hanging out at John B’s Jambie (John B): I feel like I should be offended right considering you are sitting right next to me.. But you're lowkey right Kiewi (Kie): Me, Sarah, and Cleo are all making sure there isn’t turtle homicide on the beach right now. You could join fr. SarBear (Sarah): It’s so fun! Cleur Naurr (Cleo): A fucking pigeon stole my fucking fries.. WHEN I CATCH THAT PIGEON Mybank : Wait Y/n isn’t with you guys? Where is she then? Kiewi: Work SarBear: Work Cleur Naurr: Work Mybank: That damn job is always stealing her, UGH. Pope is a Rockstar (Pope): She told us yesterday, before the party started. Mybank<3: Its not my fault she tells me things when I’m already blasted and or stoned.. She also hasn’t responded to me today yet either. Kiewi: POPE HAS RISEN BABY GIRL Pope is a Rockstar: AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME. Jambie: guys Kiewi: CAUSE I DON'T THINK THEY”LL UNDERSTAND Jambie: Guys Pope is a Rockstar: WHEN EVERYTHING’S MADE TO BE BROKEN Jambie: GUYS Kiewi: WHAT Jambie: Hi Mybank: Bro, you are so annoying Jambie: Nuh Uh Cleur Naurr: I was jamming SarBear: Are you guys coming down or not? Mybank: I have to make a pit stop first.. Then I’ll be down, trust! Smarty Pants: OOOOO Mybank: gonna go fill up my bike, nothing special Kiewi: SUREEE Jambie: I’m on my way… maybe I shouldn’t text and drive… SarBear: JOHN B

Cleur Naurr: Pope??????? Pope is a Rockstar: I’m thinking of a plan to sneak out rn.. Heyward’s gonna kill me. Kiewi: Hurry or else it's just gonna be John B and Sarah macking on each other the whole time. SarBear: Not true! Jambie: So true! Sent 2:25

I chuckle at those stupid conversations before finally responding, 4 hours later.

That’s Squad, That’s Fam, That’s P4L: Me:You guys are so lucky not having jobs. #I hate it here #sendhelp. Jambie: SHE SPEAKS Mybank<3: why are we sending help? Kiewi: are you done work, JJ is losing his mind SarBear: We can’t bear it anymore. Ugh, no I still have like an hour and 45 minutes left. Mybank: We could come visit? Me: Nah, I’m almost done anyway. 2 more hours yall!!! 6:25 pm

I put my phone down and go back to putting books away.

I hear the door open, I turn my head swiftly. The man from earlier walks out. I jump for joy.

“THANK GOD.” I whisper yell and do a little jig.

The door opens again, I think it's probably just a random member of the library. And to my surprise, it's not patrons at all, it's the pogues! I run faster over there now and jump hug JJ.

“You missed me that much?” He says grinning ear to ear.

“Yes, and I am really glad you guys are here, IT HAS BEEN SO BORING.”

“You were the one who got the job.” Sarah says to me as she pushes JJ to the side.

“Yeah well someone has to be able to get us food.” I put my hands up.

“Do you want us to stay until you get off??” Cleo says, “Cause, I'm exhausted from chasing those pigeons… I could really use a nice AIR-CONDITIONED place to relax.”

“Why are we staying?” John B asks, tuning into the conversation.

“Because I miss you guys, I've been trapped here all summer. Plus a free air conditioner.”

Pope and JJ tuning into the conversation instead of fucking with the postcard stand.

“Yeah I think we should stay,” Jj suggests, “It better then going back to the un-airconditioned Chateau”

“REAL.” Pope exclaims.

They all sit down in the common area, John B and Sarah go on the computers while Cleo and Pope look at action adventure novels on the table in front of them. Kie is in the little kids section, Kie pretending to do story time to the stuffed animals around her.

JJ starts wandering around the sections in front of my desk, he grabs a random book from the bookshelf, sitting down in front of my desk. He begins to fake read.

“You're so dumb.”

JJ, who is currently holding a book upside down, looks over at me.

“I think you mean, studious.. After all I am reading-” He turns the book around to see what the name is, and simultaneously realizes what I meant. He flips the book right-side up, “-Pride and Prejudice.”

I wheezed, checking my watch to see how much time was left before closing, it's 7:00pm, 60 minutes before closing. I get up and begin my nightly check making sure everything is still in decent shape.

JJ, Sarah, and Kie follow me around. JJ talking about how they didn’t want to give him gas at the station.

“So they wouldn’t give you gas because it wasn't below half full? That's stupid, they should be happy they are getting money.”

“Those guys there are so stupid,” Kie chimes in, “they are lucky that you still even go to them.”

“That's what I’m saying,” JJ laughs

“I hate it here so much guys, you have no clue how much I want to quit day to day and just drink beer and smoke weed with you guys.” I say, as we turn the corner back to the common area.

“I don’t know why you just don't quit? I mean 15 dollars an hour isn’t worth the creeps.. And well you would get to spend more time with me, your best friend… I'm biased.”

“AND me, your 2nd best friend in the whole wide world.” Sarah says, grabbing my right arm.

“AND ME, your 3rdd best friend in the whole wide world!” Kie exclaims, grabbing my left arm.

I laugh, “Hanging out with my best friends all day everyday sounds nice, but I love my Christmas Bonuses, I CAN'T QUIT!”

“The drug store, down on main, does bonuses and double time on christmas… seems like a better choice honestly.” Sarah suggests

“Deal.. I'm going to tell my boss I quit later, but right now,“ I check the time, it's 7:05, “It's time to think of something we can do for 45 minutes.”

“We should see how many books we can stack on each guy's head.” Kie suggest.

“YES.” Sarah yells.

Jj rolls his eyes, hating the idea.

Kie, Sarah, and I grab each guy while Cleo finds thick and thin books to stack on them.

“You guys are gonna have to sit, criss-cross applesauce.” I say.

“You have been doing too many story times with children.” JJ laughs.

“Shut up….”

The guys all sit on the ground, criss-crossed.

“Are we betting?” Kie asks.

“Sure… John B has the biggest head so he’ll probably have the most.” Sarah says.

“HEY.”

“Sorry John B.. Jj moves too much so he’l have like 2.” Sarah continues.

“WOAH.”

“Sorry not sorry, Jj. And Pope’s hair is gonna add height so it might be unfair.”

“Why didn't you attack him like you attacked us?” John B pouts.

“You guys are easily attackable.” Kie shrugs.

Cleo returns with the books.

“I’m gonna count!” I say sitting down at the table, grabbing a piece of paper.

They all nod. Kie, Sarah, and Cleo all grab books and start putting them on each guys head. Sarah stacks it on JJ’s head, Kie stacks on Pope’s head, and Cleo stacks on John B’s head.

“JJ, YOU NEED TO STOP MOVING.” Sarah exclaims, as all the books fall of his head.

“You only got to 4 books king, you are out,” I say, crossing his name off the thing, “Sarah’s predictions are so real right now.”

He sits across from me and Sarah sits next to me. JJ takes my pencil and starts drawing on the paper. I grab it back, and he then yanks it from me again. Now pissed I yanked it back, pulling his arm across the table. He retaliates by jumping across the table. I run away. Sarah chases behind me and jj as we run throughout the library.

“Gimme the pencil, I wanna draw.” He says, catching up to me.

“Never,” I throw the pencil down the stairs. It lands in front of Sarah, “ Take it SARAH, RUN.”

“Seriously!” He says out of breathe, and then proceeds to run down the stairs, “JOHN B GET SARAH.”

I chase after him, “Don’t listen to him, John B!”

John B and Pope look at each other before getting up and running after Sarah.

Kie and Cleo look at eachother confused, Kie starts, “We aren’t done with the game!”

“Cleo, Kie, no time, get the pencil. WE CAN’T LET JJ WIN.”

Deciding not to ask questions, they chase after the boys with me trying to save Sarah.

Sarah, makes a sharp left, be cornered by Pope and John B with JJ on her coattails.

“OVER HERE!” Cleo yells, sticking her hand through the book shelf.

Sarah hands her the pencil with a smirk. John B, Pope, and JJ all look so defeated by this tactical move, but regain strength and direct their charge at Cleo, who has climbed the bookshelf and is jumping across each.

“NOT FAIR!” Pope exclaims.

John B not giving up, climbs up the last book shelf in the row Cleo heading too. She stops seeing that she cannot escape him..

“Cleo down here!” Kie shouts. “Oops.” Cleo snickers as she drops the pencil.

Kie catches it. And runs towards my desk. John B and Cleo jump down from the shelfs.

JJ sprints after Kie, who discreetly passes it back to me, and slides under the table. JJ catches up to her and grabs her.

“HAHA, I win,” he laughs, “give me that pencil.”

Kie smirks, “I don’t have it.”

He looks over at me who is waving it around. JJ, Pope, and John B all full sprint at me. JJ tackles me to the ground, Pope and John B pile on. Kie, Sarah, and Cleo stack on top of them as well.

We all laugh hysterically. I don’t notice JJ taking the pencil from me before they all get off me.

“So who ended up with the pencil?” Cleo asks.

“I RAIN VICTORIOUS!” JJ declares.

We all laugh. My phone rings. It's 7:59.

“GUYS, one minute left!” I say walking over to my desk.

I go over the intercom, directing that everyone left in the store to return their books and no more signing out will be accepted.

John B groans picking up a book, “BUT I WANNA TAKE HARRY POTTER.”

“WELL THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD.”

I rush to the door, pushing them all out and slamming the door behind me, quickly locking it.

“I'M FREE.”

They all cheer.

“You guys really know how to make a girl’s shift better!” I laugh out.

“Yup!” They all shout together, group hugging me.

John B shouts, “LETS GO GET HIGH AT THE CHATEAU!”

We all agree with him, piling into the Twinkie and riding away from that place.

______________________________________________________________

[loonylupinblack3]

This Isn't Over

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: toxic!rafe, swearing, physical alteration, hints to domestic violence

Summary: you accidently spend the night at your friends house and Rafe has something to say about it

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: more rafe 🤭🤭 this one has him being a little (😬) toxic so be warned!!

You’d fallen asleep at John B’s house. You knew that because it was barely 8am and your phone was ringing its head off, a sleuth of calls and messages lighting up your screen. You let out a groan, rolling over on the pull out mattress in John B’s living room, untangling yourself from Kiara whose limbs were spread out like an eagle on the bed, and picked up your phone.

Your eyes were bleary as you blinked at the screen, already knowing who was sending you all these messages. Like you’d expected, you saw Rafe’s name all over your phone, missed calls and countless messages lining up your home screen.

You’d made the mistake of telling Rafe of your plans to visit John B and his friends last night. You’d had a good relationship with them a couple months ago but had started to drift apart when you and Rafe started seeing each other. Wanting to remedy that, you’d all planned a bit of a party, just between friends, to catch up.

Rafe hadn’t been happy when he found out. At first he told you not to go, adamantly raving about how crazy John B and his sister were. When you informed him you would be going, because they were your friends and you’d known them way before Rafe started disliking them, he made you promise two things to him. One, that you wouldn’t drink, and two, that he’d be able to see you the next morning.

Looking around with groggy eyes and noting the many empty beer cans, you realised belatedly that you’d broken both your promises.

“Shit,” you mumbled, sitting upright and rubbing your eyes.

JJ gave a groan from the mattress a few steps away. “I will smash whoever’s phone that is if they don’t shut it up right now.”

You gave a sheepish smile even though he couldn’t see you, noticing the other’s restlessness too. “Sorry guys, my bad. Rafe’s just texting me.”

That caught their attention, JJ sitting upright immediately and the others stirring into separate states of awareness. You winced; you should have known better than to mention Rafe, because for all that your boyfriend didn’t like them, your friends disliked him more.

“What’s got him so riled up?” John B asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

You cleared your throat, trying to grab your bearings as you looked around for your shoes. “Oh, I was just supposed to meet him this morning and forgot so…”

Pope raised his eyebrows. “So he’s blowing up your phone? And why were you supposed to meet him at-” Pope checked his watch. “-8:07am?”

You hesitated. “Well, I didn’t set a time, it's just he wasn’t expecting me to sleep over so he probably came early to see me and found me missing.”

Sarah gave you a look, probably the most tired out of all of them but still in her right mind enough to tell you, “that’s like, a walking red flag.”

You laughed slightly, though it was forced. “He just cares. Speaking of, I should probably, y’know, answer his texts.”

There were mumbles and mutterings but no one spoke against you as you looked at your phone, reading the most recent texts from Rafe.

Where are you?

Why aren’t you home?

Did you stay at John B’s for the night? You better not have had anything

What the fuck Y/n. Where are you?

I’m coming to John B’s

Shit. Rafe couldn’t come here. There were so many ill feelings with him in the mix and you didn’t want anything to unfold between him and your friends. 

You texted him back hastily but he didn’t reply, telling you he was already on the way. Shit. 

“He’s coming here?!” Kiaria read, leaning over your shoulder. You were quick to hide your phone but the damage had already been done, all of your friends certainly wide awake now.

JJ let out a disbelieving shock. “Wait, wait, Rafe Cameron is coming here? Did I get that right?”

You cringed. “Um. Kind of? But I’ll meet him outside, you guys won’t have to see him at all-”

Rapid pounding on the door cut you off. You saw Sarah pale and couldn’t help but feel guilty. How fast had Rafe driven to get here?!

“John B,” Rafe called through the door. “John B open up.”

It was as if a switch had been flipped. Instead of your friend John B who teased you and begrudgingly accepted your choice in boyfriend, it was John B who hated Rafe, a dark look in his eyes as his hands curled into fists by his side. No one spoke. “I know you’re in there!” Rafe’s voice got louder; he was shouting by now. “Where’s Y/n? What’d you do, huh? You hurt her? Because I swear to God if you did-”

John B was up and striding to the front door before any of you could stop him. He was like a man possessed, his usual calm persona replaced with an indescribable anger that could only come from countless bad experiences.

He opened the door with a slam, barely avoiding hitting Rafe who didn’t look pleased with the fact. “You think I’d hurt Y/n? She’s my best friend.”

Rafe let out a low scoff, and you could tell he was pissed just by the tone of his voice. You loathed to see the anger on his face. “I wouldn’t put it past you. Where is she?”

John B seemed to still be stuck on the fact Rafe thought so low of him. “I’ve known her since we were four,” he argued. 

“You’re a Pogue,” was Rafe’s immediate response.

“She’s a Pogue!”

Rafe was silent for a moment. “Where is she?”

“No, let’s go back to the fact you think I’d be the one to hurt her-”

“Where is she?!”

You heard the sounds of a skirmish and immediately went for the door, as did the rest of your friends. You should have gone earlier but didn’t want to have to be in the middle of whatever had been going on with Rafe and John B.

When you turned the corner you saw Rafe and John B wrestling. Rafe must have tried to get in and John B forcefully stopped him, which led to John B pinned against the wall with Rafe’s arm pressing on his throat. They were both glaring at each other, wearing similar expressions of loathing on their faces. Rafe looked like an entirely different person, a hint of something wild and scary hidden in his eyes.

“Rafe, stop.”

At the sound of your voice Rafe paused, the pressure on John B’s throat lessening. He turned to look at you, his whole face softening at the sight. There was a look of relief on his face that had guilt eating at you as he took his arm away from John B’s throat, the boy coughing as fresh air entered his lungs.

“Y/n,” Rafe breathed, taking a few steps towards you.

Until your other friends took a step forward, crowding you behind them. The same hostility took over his face, the wild look you’d seen in his eyes increased, his pupils dilating slightly.

“I’m fine,” you whispered frantically to your friends. “Seriously. Let him through.”

You admired your friend's loyalty. It warmed your heart to see them caring about you that much, even when faced with this quite frankly terrifying version of Rafe you hadn’t experienced. It was misplaced though, because Rafe would never hurt you.

They reluctantly did as you said, JJ needing some hasling from Kiaria before moving away. And as soon as they did the softness was back in Rafe’s expression and he was in front of you, wrapping you in a tight hug, hands holding you as close as possible to him as he kissed the top of your head.

“You alright?” he murmured into your hair.

You nodded into his chest, his comfort sinking into your very bones. Rafe seemed to act the same, his tense posture relaxing as he held you in his arms, inhaling your scent and letting the comforting smell of you calm him down.

He pulled back suddenly, a hint of irritation on his face. “Why didn’t you answer my texts?”

You looked down guiltily, feeling like a child being reprimanded by a teacher. “I was asleep.”

“Here?”

You flinched at the stern tone of his voice. “Yeah…”

“Did you drink?” When you didn’t answer him he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Did. You. Drink?”

“That’s enough man,” JJ spoke, stepping forward again.

Rafe shot him a dirty look. “Stay out of this Maybank.”

“No I’m serious, stop manhandling her,” he insisted, gesturing to Rafe’s fingers still curled around your chin.

“Don’t tell me what to do with my own girlfriend, you pathetic little Pogue,” Rafe hissed.

You let out a gasp, pulling away from your boyfriend. “What the fuck Rafe? Don’t call him that!”

Rafe turned his murderous expression on you, and for a second it stayed murderous, causing a sense of unease to start churning in your gut. It lessened to irritation but you couldn’t get the anger of his previous expression out of your mind, the feeling that in that moment he would have done anything to get his way.

“Y/n-” he started, a hint of frustration in his voice, but JJ didn’t even let him finish.

He moved forward, placing his hand on your stomach to gently guide you behind him. You only let him because of your sudden hesitance around your boyfriend, but this seemed to only make his mood worse.

“Get your hands off my fucking girlfriend.” Rafe surged forward and you let out a gasp, barely moving in time as the two men toppled to the ground, fists being thrown and legs kicking. You were screaming at them to stop but neither man listened to you. John B finally managed to pry Rafe away, only for your boyfriend to immediately turn to him.

You ran into the middle of it before he could, and you swear to God even after recognising you for a second there you were sure he was still going to go for the hit. He managed to restrain himself, however, and said through very gritted teeth, “Y/n, get out of the way.”

You stood your ground, refusing to budge. “Stop hurting my friends.”

He scoffed, looking at you like you were a naive child. “Friends? You consider them friends, Y/n? You can’t trust them. They don’t care about you like I do. No one does. The only person you can trust is me.”

“You sound fucking psycho man,” JJ sneered, blood running from his probably broken nose. He wiped it away as he spoke, smearing it over his face.

“Mind your damn business,” Rafe snapped. He turned to you, grabbing your arm almost desperately. “Let’s just go, yeah baby? We’ll leave, and forget this shit ever happened.”

He started leading you out of the house and you let him, until you were standing in the doorway with him out of the building, which was when you stopped, taking your arm away from him. Rafe looked at you questioningly. 

“I’m gonna stay here for a while longer, Rafe.”

You watched him still, hands flex before curling into tight fists, his jaw clenched. 

“What?” that one word, so quiet you could barely hear it, filled you with overwhelming dread. You’d never heard this tone before, this quiet, deadly tone. He was always explosively angry. This felt like the calm before the storm.

“I’m going to stay here,” you forced yourself to say, grateful your voice came out even.

Rafe took a deep breath, thoughts spinning in his head, before giving a yell and kicking the empty bottles on the steps of the porch, causing the glass to smash and shatter. “Are you serious right now? Are you fucking serious Y/n?! After everything I’ve done for you? You were a dirty fucking Pogue before me that no one wanted to touch. I made you into something and you repay me by doing this?!”

He was yelling. Screaming. Eyes full of rage focused solely on you as he moved forward to grab you. Your friends were quicker, John B, JJ, Pope all standing in front of you. Kiara and Sarah both grabbed each of your hands, giving you the support you so desperately needed.

“Time to go, Rafe,” John B said, voice low. “You can’t take on all of us.”

Rafe knew he was right. You could see him, the fight in him not so much deflating as it was changing, realising he wasn’t going to win by brute force alone. He looked at you behind your friends, a frightening anger in his eyes. What was worse was you could see through it, to the sickening desperation underneath, the knowledge that he needed you ringing in your head.

You dropped your gaze, guilt and fear warring inside you. Rafe let out a low scoff, hurt and disbelief coating it. You heard footsteps and risked looking up, finding Rafe leaving the porch. At the edge he turned back though, eyes finding you immediately, and spoke in a low, almost threatening tone before leaving without another glance:

“This isn’t over.”

[misskingshit]

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 summary: The love that the two of you have for each other is immense, but the problems exceed it in size. note: I watched the two seasons of OBX and the truth is that I love it, I'm a little worried about the fact that instead of sending Rafe to therapy they want to put a love interest on him, I hope they don't ruin it. I know that Rafe was not at the scene of John B's trial where he is sentenced and all, but let's pretend that he was. xoxo

"Is this a joke? Like, are we in hell or...?" Kiara started to say.

"I shouldn’t have come home," Sarah continues.

You were just silent, your best friend since childhood convicted of something he didn't do, quite the contrary, he is the victim.

But the worst part, without a doubt...

The boy you love being the culprit, the one who gets away with it, a murderer. Seeing him there, at Peterkin's funeral and now at the trial as if nothing had happened, serious, staring at you.

All of this just didn't make sense.

"They're going to kill him, guys. I know."

"JJ shut up" you looked at him, your dark circles revealing the fact that you hadn't slept well in weeks, your voice raspy and broken, the fact that you weren't well at all "please shut up".

"Could you please shut up" Kie begins to attack a group of men who came with Ward and... Rafe.

"Kie let's just go" you tried to convince her.

"No, of course you think that justice worked because it was made to protect you and people like you..."

She continued to shoot (truths) at Ward and even though you loved her for it, you wished with all your might that she would shut up and get out of there, you didn't want to have him in front of you right now.

"The pogue got what he deserved" you heard his voice for the first time all day, that beautiful voice that one day was your safe place, but now it's the place you feared the most.

"How can you say that?" it came out, you couldn't control it, your voice cuts off at a moment when you couldn't believe it "how? I don't understand it" you looked into his eyes, watery like yours. He couldn't resist seeing you like this, having you away.

"Babe, come home, we'll talk about this, we..." Rafe got closer and closer to you, but when he was about to reach you, a blonde hair stood between you two "stay away from her, dude" Jj blurted out hard.

"She won't come to your house murderer, because that's what you are, a murderer!" Kie did not hold back "It's not a coincidence that your sister and your girlfriend are sitting with us" your friend said for the last time.

The officers separated them and finally each group went their own way, but not before noticing Rafe's look on you, somewhat hurt and hateful on the blonde.

———

You didn't really know what to do, you just closed the cafeteria where you work, the sign clearly said closed and being the only one inside with most of the lights off, it was very strange for you to hear the doorbell ring at the entrance. Seeing him, you just wanted to run away.

"It's closed" you said looking down, intending to continue cleaning the table.

"I know" silence "I just..."

"You should go" you said emphatically.

"No, we should talk about this" you quickly turned your head towards him.

"Talk? What exactly do you want to talk about? Huh? How you ki..." Shit you couldn't even say it out loud. He was a murderer.

"I love you, nothing else matters, I love you and I want to have you with me, by my side, forever" little by little he came closer to you, for each step he took forward you took one back.

"Rafe, I'm scared" you started to cry "I'm scared of you, you... you killed Peterkin and you don't even seem to feel guilty about it" you cried even more "you tried to kill John B and something tells me that Sarah will be next" .

Rafe's face was suffering, he could kill without remorse...but that you are afraid of him, no, that broke his heart.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, I would never do anything to you, never, I couldn't" he whispered "I love you so much and I'm not willing to lose you" his voice breaks.

He approaches and this time you don't walk away "I love you too, Rafe, I love you with all that I am, but I can't, I can't, I shouldn't" his hands rest on your face wiping away your tears "this is not fair Rafe, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to us?"

Silence, that's all you received from him.

"I love you Rafe, I probably always will, but I can't go through with this" you said with what little voice you had left.

You kissed him, one last kiss...

Or so you thought.

———

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, sooo i’m sorry in advance for any mistakes.

[obxsummer]

Gut Feeling // The Pogues

as john b's younger sibling, it was your job to make sure he didn't do anything too stupid. when he leaves with ward to go on a fishing trip, you find out just how cruel the cameron family can be... little did you know john b was finding out the exact same thing.

john b x gn!sibling!reader, platonic!pogues

warnings: the usual shitty cameron parenting, verbal threatening, no use of y/n, tried to keep things gender-neutral but let me know if I missed something!

a/n: sorry if things are out of character, I couldn't really find a way to make this flow the way I wanted. thanks for your patience with this request anon!

navigation 

--

John B getting pushed off the Hawk’s Nest was definitely not on your bingo board for this year. Ward Cameron offering to be your legal guardian on top of that wasn’t even a thought in your mind. So what the hell was going on?

Your bond with your older brother, John B, was unshakable. Only a year separated you in age, yet your connection ran much deeper than that. You were best friends as kids, guardians of each other's secrets, and steadfast anchors in each other's lives. Everything only became more intense when your father disappeared. 

Sharing friends was expected, as well as the fact that where there was one of you, the other wasn’t far behind. Everyone in OBX knew the Routledge siblings traveled as a pack alongside their friends. 

Topper shoving John B off the ridiculously tall spot created more than just sprained joints and concussions. Sarah told her dad, and to your dismay, Ward Cameron, was suddenly in front of you, offering to be your legal guardian.

The offer hung heavy in the air as the older man dismissed himself for the two of you to take some time. The expression on your face must have said everything since John B instantly tried to assure you. "Listen, I know you're skeptical, but we're running out of options here. Ward can help us."

You stared out the window, a mix of worry and doubt tugging at your heart. "I don't trust him, John B. There's something off about him." The idea of being in Figure Eight, away from your friends, was terrifying. 

John B let out a heavy sigh, his gaze fixed on the ground. "I get that feeling too, but we need his help. We need to keep DCS off our backs. Nobody said we had to stay there all the time. It’s just a cover."

Despite your hesitation, you nodded, knowing that he had the right idea. The bond between you and John B was your anchor, and you were willing to trust him, even if the circumstances were far from comforting. “I’ll go where you go, JB. But I really have a bad feeling about this.”

--

Moving into the Cameron house was extremely awkward. The walls felt unfamiliar, and Ward's presence seemed to loom over you. The first change came when you and John B were assigned separate bedrooms, a decision that made your unease grow.

Standing hesitantly in the doorway of your new room, you looked at John B with a mixture of concern. "Why can't we share a room?"

Ward exchanged a glance with John B, and the unspoken conversation between them only fueled your anxiety. Was this John B’s decision? "It's important for both of you to have your own space," Ward said, his voice carrying a hint of finality. “Gives you time to grow in your own way. You don’t share a room at home now, do you?”

“I’d feel a lot better by him,” You replied without any regard for your ungrateful attitude. It seemed like Ward was doing a great job at driving a wedge between you and your brother. And even though you did have your own rooms at the Chateau, being separated here felt much worse. Usually, there was just a wall between you, not three hallways, a set of stairs, and locked doors. 

“We can share a room, Mr. Cameron, it’s really no-”

“You will have separate rooms. That is final. I already have a lot on my plate getting you two adjusted, please don’t make it harder.”

As night fell, the unfamiliarity of your surroundings only intensified your discomfort. Unable to bear the thought of being separated from John B, you found yourself sneaking into his room. The floor became your refuge, a makeshift bed where you sought solace in his proximity.

Your unease didn’t disappear overnight. The gold was still waiting to be pulled out of the well and when Ward interfered with the plans for that too, your anxiety resurfaced. You couldn't shake off the feeling that something was amiss.

You had been standing awkwardly on the sidewalk when Ward approached John B and Sarah to bring up the idea. He finally acknowledged your presence. "This trip is just for John B and me. Some bonding time while we talk things out, man to man about dating my daughter…"

John B leaned over, ruffling your hair affectionately even though he wasn't a major fan of this himself. "It's just fishing, Birdie. I'll be back before you know it." He could tell you didn’t like being here by yourself and he didn’t blame you. “Plus, Sarah will be here. You guys could hang out?”

Despite his attempt to reassure you, the feeling of unease clung to you like a second skin. "Promise you'll call if anything goes wrong?"

John B's eyes softened as he nodded. "I promise. Can always hang with JJ and them too, you know. Figure out some plans.”

He hinted toward what you were supposed to be doing the following morning: pulling the gold out. 

With a heavy heart, you watched them head out to the dock the next morning. It felt so silly to be worried about being alone without John B. You retreated to your room, the morning sun casting golden rays across the floor, hoping for the best.

Minutes dragged on like an eternity as you cowered in the suffocating darkness of the room. Every creak of the floorboards, every rustle of leaves outside, sent shivers down your spine. The air was heavy with fear, your heart beating in a frantic rhythm as the minutes ticked by.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and your heart jumped into your throat. Ward's sinister smile greeted you, his presence casting a shadow that seemed to engulf the room. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, confused by his presence. “Where’s John B?”

He completely ignored your question and threw the light on as he stepped closer. "I think we need to have a little chat."

“Don’t touch me!” Your breath caught in your throat, and you stumbled back off the bed, your hands pressing against the closet wall as if it could shield you from the threat before you. His grip on your arm was like a vise, cold and unyielding, as he pulled you into the dimly lit room. 

"You see, I have a problem here," Ward hissed, his eyes locking onto yours with a predatory intensity, "Your father thought he could outsmart me from the gold. I killed him for it. You and your brother don’t stand a chance, especially if I take you out one by one…but just how do I go about it?"

As he spoke, his words were a twisted dance of intimidation. His threats were like icy daggers, each word digging deeper into your psyche, igniting a firestorm of panic. The room felt like a cage, and you were trapped in its suffocating grasp.

Your heart raced, your breathing shallow as your mind raced to find an escape route. The weight of his words bore down on you. The room seemed to close in on you, the walls narrowing as Ward's presence loomed over you. Your dad. Ward Cameron killed your dad.

Before you could respond, the door swung open, and another figure entered the room—Rose Cameron. Her demeanor was cold and calculating, her eyes scanning you with an unsettling intensity.

Ward's gaze flickered between you and Rose, and a knowing smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "You remember Rose, right?"

You felt a knot of unease tighten in your stomach. Rose's presence seemed to amplify the danger, and you couldn't shake off the feeling that you were trapped in a spider's web.

Rose's voice was silky, her smile masking an undercurrent of manipulation. "Ward and I are only concerned for your well-being, sweetie. We want what's best for you. You don’t have to worry about going back to the Cut ever again, okay?"

The words felt like a strong hand tightening around your throat, and you backed away, your heart racing as you tried to maintain some semblance of control. "I don't need your concern, I need my brother."

Ward's laugh was chilling, his amusement a stark contrast to the terror that gripped you. "John B’s gone. Why do you think I took him out on the boat? Easier access to dump the body where someone won’t find it."

A wave of panic crashed over you, and you instinctively turned to flee, only to find Rose blocking your path. The realization struck you like a lightning bolt—this was a trap, and you were caught in their twisted game.

Before you could react, Ward lunged forward, his grip like a vice as he forced you into the closet. The sound of the lock clicking shut sent a shock of terror through your veins, and you pounded on the door, desperation fuelling your efforts.

"Let me out! Let me out of here!" Your voice cracked with fear, each thud against the door a desperate plea for escape. “John B!”

From the other side of the door, you heard Ward's voice, his tone taunting. "You're not going anywhere. This is where you'll learn your place. And stay quiet until we finish digging out the gold. Actually, thank you. Without your help, we wouldn’t have even gotten this far."

The reality of your situation hit you like a ton of bricks. Trapped, alone, and at the mercy of their manipulation, you felt a surge of panic rise within you. You were a pawn in their game, a helpless victim in a twisted power play. And they knew about the gold.

As you sat in the darkness, the silence was deafening, broken only by your ragged breaths. The taste of fear lingered on your tongue, and you knew that escaping this nightmare would require every ounce of strength you possessed.

You waited until silence covered the house before slamming your body against the closet door. Pain radiated through your shoulder, but you remembered JJ’s direction on kicking a door out before putting it to practice as best as you could.

The adrenaline coursing through your veins was a lifeline, propelling you forward as you lunged for the door and finally broke the lock free. Panic fed your speed, and your heart pounded in your chest as you burst into the hallway, your breath ragged and harsh.

As you fled down the corridor, the taste of freedom was tantalizingly close. You turned a corner, your pulse racing, and then… silence. Panic surged as you realized you were trapped in a dead-end hallway, the walls closing in on you like a vise.

Footsteps echoed ominously behind you, and you whirled around to see Rafe's approaching shadow—no time to spare. Your heart hammered in your chest, and desperation surged within you. With a gasp, you spotted the open doors to the upstairs balcony. Adrenaline-fueled strength carried you forward, and you sprinted toward them. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Rafe’s voice taunted as he started to round the corner. You pushed yourself over the balcony rail and tried your best to hang on as you slowly slide down the column to the ground. Until you lost grip, that is.

The world outside spun in a blur of green and blue, and your body collided with the ground, the impact sending shockwaves of pain through your limbs. Dazed and disoriented, you scrambled to your feet, your breath coming in ragged gasps. 

Rafe's voice echoed behind you, but you didn’t dare look back. 

The sound of your own breath, the rustling leaves, and the pounding of your heart filled your senses as you ran. You thanked JJ for dragging you through these paths as kids so you never got lost by yourself. 

And then, suddenly, your foot caught on a root, and you were tumbling, colliding with something solid. Pain radiated through your limbs as you groaned, disoriented and breathless. You looked up, blinking away tears, only to find yourself staring into a pair of familiar eyes.

"Birdie?" John B's voice was a mixture of disbelief and concern as he rushed to your side, his hands reaching out to steady you.

Your heart raced, emotions swirling within you as you tried to process what was happening. Your eyes widened in panic, and your hands shot up defensively, a guttural gasp escaping your lips as you stumbled back.

John B's expression shifted from surprise to a gentle concern, his voice cautious. "Hey, it's me, it’s me. You're safe. I'm here."

The flood of emotions was overwhelming, and your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath. Slowly, you lowered your hands, your vision clearing enough for you to see your brother's worried eyes, the deep lines of concern etched into his forehead.

"John B?" Your voice trembled, a mixture of disbelief and relief coursing through your veins. “You’re alive?”

He nodded, his voice soothing as he extended a hand toward you. "Yeah, it's me. You're okay now."

You felt your legs give way, the tension and fear of the past hours finally catching up with you. John B caught you, his arms wrapping around you protectively as he eased you to sit. He held you close, the warmth of his embrace grounding you in reality.

As the tears spilled over, you clung to him as if he were the lifeline you had desperately needed. He whispered reassurances as he held you close, reminding you that you were with him and everything was fine.

Gasping for breath, you clung to John B as if he were your anchor in the storm. Tears streaked down your face, your voice trembling as you struggled to find the words to explain the terror you had just experienced.

"John B, I… I couldn't stay there. Ward…" You choked on the words, your voice a fragile whisper. “He said you were dead.”

John B's arms tightened around you as he gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "Shhh, take your time. Just tell me what happened."

Taking a deep breath, you began recounting what had just happened—how Ward had cornered you, the sinister threats that were enough for you to kick a door out, and the desperate flight through the woods. As you spoke, you finally let your shoulders sag in relief. Your brother was okay.

John B's grip on you tightened even further, his voice shaky when he realized how fucked up this whole thing was. "He attacked me on the boat. Said he was the reason Dad is gone and… he-he tried to get me to share the gold with him - lashed out when I said no."

As the reality of the situation settled in when you didn’t answer, John B's protective instinct kicked into high gear. He helped you to your feet, his gaze never leaving yours. "Are you hurt? Did he… did he touch you?"

You shook your head. "I'm okay. He didn't… he didn't hurt me."

John B's features softened with relief, but his anger remained simmering beneath the surface. "We're getting out of here. Right now. Let’s go find the others."

Your friends were waiting at the Chateau when you arrived. They attempted to share their progress with the tools to remove the gold but you and your brother moved past them wordlessly

Kiara, Pope, and JJ filed into the house instantly. "Guys? What's going on?" Kiara's voice carried a note of worry. It only got worse when JJ got shoved aside by your brother. “John B!”

John B's gaze darted around the room, his eyes finally settling on yours before he looked away, his jaw clenched tightly. Without a word, he made his way past your friends, his steps determined as he headed for the door, this time with JJ’s gun in his hand.

“Where are you going?” You screamed after him in shock and ran onto the porch. This was not what you figured he would do. 

John B ignored your shouts and kicked JJ’s dirt bike to life before speeding off with no explanation.

JJ exchanged a confused glance with the others. "What's up with him?"

You groaned and flopped on the couch, the heaviness of the truth threatening to consume you. "Ward... Ward killed Big John."

The room fell into stunned silence, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air. Kiara, Pope, and JJ stared at you in shock, their expressions a mix of disbelief and horror.

JJ's voice was barely a whisper. "What?"

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as the memories flooded back, the pain of the past resurfacing with a vengeance. "He was investigating something about the Royal Merchant, and Ward killed him when he wouldn't agree to share the gold."

Pope's voice was filled with anger and disbelief. "That son of a..."

Kiara's hand covered her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. "Oh, my god."

As the truth settled in, the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating you with its weight. John B's abrupt departure on the dirt bike now carried a new layer of meaning—if he killed Ward, they would turn this all on your brother.

Hours passed, each moment heavy with the weight of the revelation. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a somber glow across the Chateau. No one spoke, the tension growing with every passing minute.

Kiara eventually got up to grab you something to eat in hopes of calming your nerves. You appreciated the gesture but as you huddled together between JJ and Pope, the reality of the situation began to sink in. 

What the fuck were you going to do now?

--

navigation

read my outer banks x the summer i turned pretty crossover

[thewriterg]

𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

pairing(s): jj maybank x gn!reader, pope heyward x gn!reader

summary: You lived for the moments you spent with your boyfriends the parties and the treasure hunting was nice but nothing beat the warm nostalgia of tangled limbs and sweet kisses in the bed bathing in the obx sun

word count: 500+

request: Hi, so some time ago I read your imagine between Pope, JJ and reader and I just thought it was incredible, because most of the time a poly couple is shown, it's two people giving love to one person, yours already showed the love between the three <3 So in that same JJ x Pope x reader dynamic, imagine where they're just in bed, just woken up from an afternoon nap and are simply cuddling in the warmth of the covers. Thank you, bye- @lovers-rockkk

warning(s): fluff, kisses, sweet short domestic, pet names, polyamory themes, and I think like one swear word

A/n: —GIF;— I can not tell you how happy it makes me when someone notices the few extra steps I to take to make my fics better thank you for the appreciation love it made me feel great <3 Also I have a surprise for you guys at the end of this so read all the way through!!!

You felt yourself begin to stir the feeling of the sun engulfing your figure that wasn’t covered by the duvet of your bed gave you a welcoming invite to blink the sleep from your eyes but you were quickly met with admiring brown eyes staring back at you

“Well good morning” You softly smiled voice soft and raspy from sleep as you stared at the rich skinned boy in front of you immediately throwing an arm over his slim waist you often teased him with your compliments it made his face hot and he was often bashful when you said the things you did especially about his toned stomach

“my pretty baby and his little waist”

“men and their slutty waist”

“we’ll look at you” you said while wrapping your around his torso pressing your face against his back

“Morning dove” Popes voice was almost the same as yours, raspy but it was less than normal letting you know he was probably up for a while before you silently moved not wanting to wake up the blonde next to you to straddle the brunettes lap as he watched you with a small smile as the sun kissed you through the blinds

You leaned down on Popes chest your bottom half still resting on his lap as you prepped small fluttering kisses on his neck traveling to his jaw as his warm hands traveled over your hips and lower back

You both stayed like that for a wild sun and love drunk In each others embrace warm and comfortable no worries of the outside world just yet… no gold, no running for your life, no gunshots, no pogues just them.

“Did you save any for me? You guys are mean” JJ groaned out a whine stretching as you both looked over to the blonde who were barely awake looking and searching for affection and you smirked widely while Pope chuckled quietly under you

“Come on Goldie” You couldn’t conceal the smile from your face while the dark skinned boy under you opened his arm out to take the blonde in and JJs ears perked up at the familiar nickname not wasting a second to crash into Popes side as he playfully groaned before kissing his temple

You sprawled out on top of them both with a over exaggerated sigh as the both chuckled before pressing a kiss to the corners of blondes mouth as he lied there in content letting you continue your acts of assault kisses to his face as you did Pope

“I think we should just stay in, hell we can put John B on hold for a day” The pale spoke up breaking the peaceful silence that fell over you all after you had settled and you hummed in agreement while Pope turned to scoop you both up in his arms a sigh that leaving the bed soon was very unlikely

You would forever persevere the love in these moments

💌💌💌💌

So I’ve started a book on Wattpad! It’s called “don’t go chasing waterfalls”

Its about a girl named Bonnie Sonnet and her group of friends follow the conflict and consequences after leaving Pouglandia in search for El dorado. How will her two certain best friends react when she makes empty promises for when this is all over? They were destined to make her keep said promises.

JJ and Pope are both love interests while also pinning over each other so if you like fics like these you’d definitely like it so you should check it out!

[writing-with-emy]

Tw: sh

Idk if you’d be comfortable writing this (if you are not, no worries) but i was just wondering if you would write a poguesxf!reader where the reader comes off as a really happy and genuine person but is secretly struggling with self harm and is cutting herself and the pogues find out or see blood or something and she tries to play it off as nothing but they figure it out and convince her that she’s not a burden and then they all help her get help/get better in their own ways? Again if you’re not comfortable that’s totally fine, I know it’s heavy stuff.

FOREVER WINTER - Pogues x F!Reader

OBX MASTERLIST | PROMPTS | Requests are open!

Shipping: Pogues x F!Reader (platonic) Summary: Above in the request! Word counts: 3.880 words Warnings: explicit content and mentions of self harm, depression, suicidal Thoughts, self-hatred, swear words, mentions of drinking

A/N: Please do not read it if you struggle with something of the above, if you do read it, please keep in mind that you are loved and wanted! YOU ARE ENOUGH! I have put some Numbers under the Imagine if you want/need them. if you know someone who struggles with this or any other mental health issue, please be there for them, they need them and check on your loved ones you never know what there going through right at given moment. And as always, feel open to correct when/if you see writing/grammar mistakes! Eras Tour Festival | Red (T.V.) Masterlist

„That’s definitely not true.“, you Heard the voice of Pope going through the whole chateau. „Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.“, JJ threw back at Pope, like it was obviously the best and most reliable source of the Internet. The rest of it was blended out because of the Major Headache you got, maybe you shouldn‘t have drank so much last night at the bonfire party.

You let out an unidentified sound and tried to hide from the sun who shines into the window of yours and JJs room you sometimes shared at John B's place. You put a pillow on your face trying to make it darker, but that doesn‘t help to blend out the laughter coming from the living room. You were still wearing your sweater from last night, better to say you still wore your whole outfit from last night, but the sweater was the important part of it, it was your try to hide the wounds that came to your arm two nights prior. You‘ve been struggling with your mental health for quite a while actually, but your friends didn‘t need to know that. They didn‘t need to know, that your parents, who just were freshly separated, gave you a shit ton of stress because of your friends who weren‘t Kooks or that your grades started to go down or people like Rafe Cameron and his friends who loves to give a lot of shitty remarks on the way you dress or look because you were hanging with the Pogues. No, they didn‘t need to know that and to be fair as much as you tried to talk you into the mindset that it was just a phase of feeling shitty, the wanting of actually ending everything came way more often from day to day. Way more often than you wanted to admit Because you just felt like a burden to everyone and everything.

You had no Idea how long you laid in bed after you woke up, but once you heard the door open you turned to it and saw JJ coming in. „Hey there sleeping beauty, finally awake?“, he asked, walking to the dresser. „I‘ve been for a while.“, you said, forcing a smile and furrowing your brows together because of the headache. „What got a headache?“, he asked seeing your forced smile and the together furrowed brows You just nodded, laying your head against the Pillows. „Well, I don‘t like saying it but, I told you not to drink so much, so.. I told you so.“. He said, smirking. „Just shut up, you‘re the reason I‘m even awake.“, you said laughing slightly. „You didn‘t just say that.“ he gasped, putting a hand on his chest. „Yes I did, what do you wanna do about it?“, you asked, grinning slyly at him. What you didn‘t expect was him taking your pillow and throwing it in your face. „Are you serious?“, you grumbled under the pillow. „Yes.“, he said and you didn‘t even need to look to know he has his shit eating grin on looking at you. You took your pillow, throwing it back in his face, before sitting up hearing your stomach grumble. „I‘m gonna grab something to eat, do whatever you wanted to do when you came in.“, you said, getting up from the bed and going out.

When you came Into the living room you saw John B, Kie and Pope together on the couch talking. John B waa the first to notice you. „Hey, she is awake!“, raising his Coca Cola Can in the air. „Ayyy.“, Pope and Kie said, raising theirs.

You wanted to say something but your stomach came first and grumbled loudly which made everyone laugh.

„I‘m gonna grab something to eat, and then I‘m right back.“, you said smiling, before going to the kitchen. You made yourself some toast with whatever was left over and grabbed yourself a Can of Coca Cola. „So what were you guys talking about earlier?“, you asked, throwing yourself next to Kie. „Oh, JJ just told us a stupid fact about Phineas and Ferb which wasn‘t true.“, Pope said. You just nodded while taking a bite from your toast. „Why are you still wearing the stuff from last night?“, Kie changed the subject. „Oh.. I just forgot to bring clothes to change into, I‘m just gonna drive home later to change and shower before coming back.“, you said, hoping they would believe you. You knew you could always borrow something from John B since he lives here and even from JJ because half of his clothes are here. „Why didn‘t you ask? I could‘ve given you some spare clothes for the night.“, John B stated something you already knew. „I know I just was probably too drunk to think about that.“, you said, giving John B your best smile you could spare right now.

He let it be because pope stated that you were actually really drunk last night, more than usual.

–

A few hours later you came home, hoping that your mother wasn‘t home right now, but to your luck she was.

„Where were you last night, I told you to come straight home after the Bonfire.“, she said, trying to keep calm but slightly failing at it. You knew when your mom was angry, nostrils flared, eyes wide with anger and her cheeks had a slight tone of red which wasn‘t cursed because of her rouge she normally wore. „I slept over at some friends house, I was too drunk to drive and I forget to text you I‘m sorry.“, you knew you didn‘t need to say their names, she already knew where you were so no need to lying, at least that would take away some steam, telling the truth was better than lying to her in those kind of situations. „And were your so-called friends the reason you drank so much?“, she asked, putting quote marks to the “friends” parts. „No I wanted it myself, they tried to stop me even but I didn‘t let them.“, you knew whatever you say, she wouldn‘t believe you when it came to the Pogues,

But to your surprise she just nodded.

„You're grounded for the next two weeks, no Pogues, no drinking and no phone.“, she said, putting her hand out. You turned off your phone before giving it to her. „Now, up to your room, and take a shower you smell like a whole bar of old drunk man.“, she said, scrunching her nose in disgust. You nodded walking up the stairs to your room.

You took off all your clothes, throwing them in your laundry basket, before taking new stuff out and going into your bathroom. You turn the Water on steaming hot before going in and let the heat relax your muscles. You laid your head back letting the hot water hit your face trying to calm your haughty who are spiraling right now. When you looked down you saw your cuts which are starting to heal, the crust on them in a dark red–brownish color the feeling and wanting to cut again coming back up. You finish your shower quickly, before heading out and putting a white towel around your body. Back in your room you sit on your bed, thinking but before you knew it you had a new blade in your hand while standing in your bathroom. The door behind you was closed and locked so your mom couldn‘t come in, you turned the shower on again so she wouldn’t hear you.

And there you were standing in front of your mirror just blankly staring at yourself in your towel with still damp hair, the short time outside nearly drying your hair since today was a really hot day in the outer banks. You knew your friends wanted to look for fish and go swimming out with the boat, but you couldn't resist the urge no matter how hard you tried.

(A/N: I give you the chance of skipping this part because is getting more explicit here with the self harm, so feel free to skip <3)

You just stared and the thoughts came rushing in your head. They don‘t want you. You are just a burden. You are a burden for your family, your friends and the people around you. You are just a piece of shit. You are worth nothing. You are not worthy of love. Do you really think your parents love you? You are.. You.. ..

You couldn‘t bear it anymore, you just grabbed the blade and set the first cut, then the second and the third. You just started going wild, and after you could see the one arm not anymore because of the blood, you started on the other arm, just going absolutely feral like a wild animal trying to kill its prey. You didn‘t even notice that you started crying while doing it, you stopped when your other arm was also full with your own blood.

(A/N: It’s over here, I didn‘t wanted it to Long )

You let the razor blade fall into the sink, breaking down crying not realizing that your blood is dripping in the sink, on the floor and on your towel which you have to throw away later. You just cried, cried because you felt unworthy of anything, friends, love, parents, anything that is normal in someone’s life. And it was triggered just by the little argument with your mom, what you couldn‘t even call that. You had no Idea how long you sat on the bathroom floor crying, but once you calmed down, you got up, you washed your arms free from the blood, the water slightly burning in your fresh wounds, but you tried to make no noise. Before you did anything else, you grabbed your first aid kit from your bathroom cabinet and put bandages around your arms, firmly enough to hopefully stop the bleeding. You changed in your room, you just throw on some shorts, a shirt and a new sweater, before putting on your shoes and throwing some spare clothes in a backpack and climbing out of your window, you had luck that under your window was the roof of the Garage and that your Mom hadn‘t took away your car keys.

Once you got into your car you turned the engines on and drove away. You saw your mom running out, yelling at you from the rearview mirror but you turned on your radio and drove to the Chateau. Was it stupid? Yes. Would you be in more trouble afterwards? Yes. Did you care right now? Absolutely fucking not.

–

The engine turned off once you turned the key, the radio dying instantly, you watched your friends getting the boat ready for a little trip like usual. You just sit there quietly, thinking if you really wanted to go with them, or if you would just be a burden for them? You took a deep breath before mumbling under your breath „fuck it.“, you took your backpack and got out of your car, walking towards them.

„Hey she is back!“ JJ yelled, with two fishing rods in his hands. „Yeah, and guess who is grounded for two weeks?“, you grinned at him. „And then you are here?“, Pope asked. „Well, I don‘t really care. I mean she can‘t contact me, while she is the one who has my phone.“, you laughed. „That’s my girl.“, JJ grinned, giving Pope the Rods before putting an arm around your shoulders. „Well, looks like I have another guest for those two weeks.“, John B said, putting the buckets down. „I‘m just bringing my Backpack in and then I‘m right back outside.“, you said, wending out of JJs arm, going Inside, throwing your backpack on the bed.

–

Like 15 minutes later you guys were on the way to a place where the water would be deep enough to swim and to fish, once you guys found the place, you stopped the boat and let the anchor down.

After a while you had now Idea how much time is passing by, you just realized the sun is slowly starting to settle down, while laughing absolutely hard at one or JJs stupid Jokes, you had funny and actually forget what Made broke down earlier, actually you had pushed those memories and feelings so far back in your brain, that you forgot that you had bandages around both of your underarms when you rolled up your sleeves. You were at first confused as to why everyone quieted down, but when you looked at your arms, you remembered what you did early and faster put them down again looking at every single one of your friends who just stared at you.

„Y/N..“, Pope started. „Yeah?“, you asked like nothing happened. „Why Did you have bandages around your arms?“, kie asked straightly. „What?“, you tried to act innocent, not to let anything shine through. „You know what we mean.“ John B said. „Nope.“, you said while sipping your drink.

And that started an argument about why you have bandages around your underarms.

„Y/N, come on, you can tell us when something is going on.“, JJ said. „Nothing is going on, I had an accident.. that’s all.“, you said, shrugging with your shoulders. „An accident on both of your arms?“, Pope asked, not believing a single word you just said. „Yep.“, you nodded, trying to not let your eyes get watery.

They stared at you again for some time, just in pure disbelief you would lie them blankly in the face.

„I‘m okay guys, it‘s nothing.“. You tried laughing it off. „Stop telling us that you‘re okay, when you‘re clearly not.“, Throwed JJ in getting mad at the fact that you kept your problems away from them.

You just kept quiet looking away, trying to hold in your tears that started brimming in your eyes.

„You know what, you don‘t need to tell us anything..yet. We can just sit here, it's okay.“, Kie said, putting a hand on your shoulder. „But we can‘t help you, if you don‘t let us.“, Pope said, coming to your other side putting a hand on your other shoulder. „I know.. I just don‘t want to cry.. I feel.. Fuck, I feel so stupid for crying.“, you said looking up in the sky, still tryongnto hold those tears in. „Hey.. It‘s Okay to cry.“, John B said, squatting down in front of you, turning and holding your face in his hands so you look at him. „It‘s okay.“, he said, looking you in the eyes. „They‘re right Y/N, all of them.“, JJ said, squatting down next to John B.

You nodded, finally letting your tears break out. The four of them started hugging you in a big hug, all of them embracing you in a hug full of love, a hug that feels like comfort and Home. Once you let go of them, and they let go of you, you told them everything, what’s been going on, the remarks of rafe that were worsened when your friends weren‘t with you, the divorce of your parents plus them hating on your friends and very little else.

„Why didn‘t you tell us that earlier?“, Kie asked. „I didn‘t wanted to be a burden, which I probably am right now, I didn‘t wanted you to put all that on you, especially at the start of the divorce of my parents, I just fell into that habit of hurting myself, when I came home it just was the worst I have ever been with this feeling, I didn‘t even realized, that I was doing it so much and so fast, I just wanted to quiet down my thoughts. I wanted to drain them out and not feel anything..“, you explain to them. „You aren‘t a burden, who told you that.“, John B stated. „Well, I actually heard my Mom say it on the phone while the divorce was still going on. She was discussing it with my father who would keep me. They talked about me like I was an object and not a person.“, you said, staring at your hands.

You didn‘t have to look to know that everyone was looking at you with pitying faces.

„You aren‘t a burden, your mom is fucking stupid to say stuff like this, she doesn‘t deserve you.“, JJ said standing up. You looked at him while everyone said his name in shock. „No he is right..“, you started. „But I don‘t really want to talk about it anymore.. can we switch the theme?“, you asked, drying your eyes with the arms of your sweater.

–

When you were back at the Chateau, you felt someone putting their arm around your shoulders.

„Don‘t worry, we‘re getting you away from that, and out of that dark hole.“, Kie said, going next to you. „Yeah definitely, we‘re gonna kick their asses.“, JJ said, coming next to you with a bucket full of fish. „Thank you guys, you really make me feel safe.“, you said with a light smile. „Yep, and we aren‘t going anywhere anytime soon.“, Pope said, while JJ put his arm around your waist. „Right, and you‘re gonna stay here as long as you need to. See the chateau as your clinic now, and we are doctors and nurses to help you.“, John B said, walking in front of you guys with the other bucket in hand. „I don‘t know if I want JJ as my Doctor or my nurse.“, you said jokingly. „Hey, what does that mean?“he asked, offended. „I think I would be a great nurse or a doctor.“, he started trying to walk past you, Kie and pope, tripping and nearly falling on his face in the process. „Try to learn to walk straight first.“, you said a grin slipping its way on your Lips.

–

„Hey what’s wrong, pretty face?“, JJ asked, sitting down next to you. „I don‘t know if I‘m doing the right thing, whilst staying away from my mom and stuff you know..“, you said.

The two weeks where you normally would’ve been grounded, past way two fast, it’s the beginning of week three, and you actually didn‘t harm yourself in those three weeks. Well, nearly, you tried it a few times secretly, but you were always stopped luckily.

„You‘re doing the right thing.“, JJ said, putting an arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. „Then why does it feel so wrong to me.?“, you asked, leaning against him and putting your head on his shoulder. „Well, you Mom expected you to live after her and do everything to make her happy and be at her standards, but right now you‘re focusing on you and not her, that’s probably why.“, he said, drawing little things on your shoulder while leaning his head against yours. „Can we like, I don‘t know cuddle for a bit? I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?“, you asked JJ, looking up at him. „Yeah totally.“, he said.

You both lie down on the bed you're sitting on to cuddle, which actually helped with the way you were feeling.

–

Today was a bad day, a very bad day. You were out with the Pogues like you were for the last few weeks, the last Month you and the Pogues went out nearly every single day and today was not different. You either went to the Wreck, to the beach to surf, out on the boat, or just drove around in the Twinkie even in the middle of the night.

All those things actually helped get you away from your thoughts, well it went well until today. You didn‘t know what was wrong, but today just fell off even though you were excited, because today was a Little movie show near the beach, and you guys decided to go there and watch the movie, that was until Rafe Cameron needed to make a remark. You tried to ignore it, but when he and his friends started laughing, you couldn't bear it and just ran away. You didn‘t make it war away, just war enough to hide between the cars at the Twinkie.

You started crying once you were alone, that just sat you off and ruined it.

„Hey.. Hey..“, you Heard John B coming towards you, before sitting next to you on the floor and pulling you against his chest. „It‘s okay, you‘re okay.“, he said, straddling your head. „I‘m sorry, I didn‘t want to ruin it. I tried to be strong, but I just couldn‘t once they laughed. I‘m so so sorry that I‘m so fucking weak and need to cry..“, you croaked against his chest. „Hey don‘t say that.. This? These tears are not a weakness. This right now is not a weakness.. This all shows how strong you are and how strong you‘ve been. And when you‘re done, look back and know that you were strong enough to overcome what you once thought to be impossible, alright?a, he asked, holding your face in his hands.

You just nodded sniffling. He gave you a kiss on your forehead before pulling you again against his chest.

„Did you really need to punch him in the face JJ?“, Popes' voice was heard. „Yes.“, the speaker answered. „Well, This whole thing sucked, so let’s just go home and watch a movie there.“, Kie said looking at you and John B, who now were sitting in the open twinkie. „Yeah let’s do that.“, you said, giving them a little smile.

Back at the chateau, you guys watched some old movie that John B had there. You were sitting next to JJ, when you looked at him shortly, before putting your head on his shoulder.

„Thank you for Punching Rafe.“, you whispered. „No need to thank me.“, he whispered back. You just smile softly for yourself.

–

A few months later, you started to stay just for a few days at your mothers since her house doesn‘t really feel like a home anymore. To your surprise she couldn‘t care less, a few months ago you would‘ve cried about that fact, but since you way over that because of your friends that are your family now, you also couldn‘t care less. Today you were back at the chateau, drinking and having fun with your friends, when something came to your mind.

„I never said, 'Thank you‘, did I?“, you said out of nowhere. „For what?“, John B asked, with everybody agreeing. „For.. Well.. Everything you did for me the past few months.“, you said smiling looking at every single one of them. „You don‘t need to thank us for that.“, Kie said. „Yeah, that‘s what friends are there for.“, Pope said. „No.“, JJ said, getting everyone off guard. „What?“, everyone said in sync. „We are not friends, we are a family. That‘s what a family is there for.“, he said standing up looking in your eyes.

Smiling, you stand up with JJ raising your Can Beer in the air.

„On us and all the years in the future we hopefully stay like this. Cheers!“, you said looking at your family. „On Us!“, everyone cheers with you taking a sip from their drinks.

All of these Numbers are available 24/7 and charge Free

–USA: 988 (suicide & life crisis lifeline) 1-866-488-7386 (The Trevor project) 678-678 (Trevor project Text [text START]) 1-877-565-8860 (Trans Lifeline)

–UK: 0800 689 5653 (National Suicide Prevention) 0800 068 4141 (Hopline 247 / PAPYRUS) ^07860039967 (Text)

–Switzerland: 143 (die Dargebotene Hand)

–Sweden: 90101 (Självmordslinjen)

–Netherlands: 0800 0113 (Stichting 113Online)

–Irland: 116 123 (Samaritans)

–Germany: 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222 (Telefonseelsorge)

–France: 3114 (didn‘t found a name) 1-877-330-6366 (Fil santé jeunes)

–Canada: 1-833-456-4566 (Talk Suicide Canada) 1-877-330-6366 (Trans lifeline)

–Brazil: 188 (Centro de Valorização)

–Austria: 142 (Telefonseelsorge [Samaritan Telephone])

–Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline) 1800 55 1800 (Kids Helpline [ages 5-25])

If you want the numbers for your country tell me in the comments🫶🏻

[pixiexdusts-world]

Incorrect quote

Y/n: Yea, I’ll smoke a joint tonight, but let’s not get too crazy.

*The pogues proceed to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes*

[becasworldsstuff]

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