#I know the vast majority people who are going to block me for creeping into every corner of Tumblr like bathroom ceiling mold

[housederiva]

a google drive that has a picture of my cat and some pdfs that 100% have nothing to do with dragon age

my rookanis playlist (feel free to send an ask if you have a song to suggest adding) as well as my old shakarian one

the ao3 series where I've started expanding on events in Veilguard / Lucanis and Crow Rook's romance and background

the playlist for the hour-long Veilguard ambiances I've made

my main is @knucklestheenchilada if you get a follow/notes from that blog hi it's me!

veilguard spoilers -> my spoiler tag, rb’s will not have an additional tag if the op has put their own since the filter gets carried over

asks for bee -> answered asks

thoughts from the peanut gallery -> and addition to the above which are to denote ones that are opinions and not questions

questions for the peanut gallery -> questions I’ve had or things I’m asking for clarification on (usually deleted once I check back for answers)

peanut gallery recs -> fic/song/vid/ect recommendations and requests that have been sent my way

bee’s writing -> my fic related posts, large texts are always put under a read more

[sonicboomseason3]

pinned post

bsbs. 26. she/her. side blog dedicated to all things sonic boom because there may as well be one. main blog here if you care (you definitely should since that's where most of my non-boom sonic posts are).

i plan on putting together my own season 3 as a fanfic eventually but i also have trouble getting off my ass so who knows how long that'll take, though the current objective is to start posting at the beginning of 2025. current status? writing random bits and pieces for it out of order when the motivation strikes

with all that said, here are some things you should know about this blog before you hit that follow button:

i am uncomfortable with sonic n*fw, as it is a kid-friendly franchise + i stick to the ages that sega provided (e.g. sonic being 15)

i typically make a point to completely ignore ship content on this blog because i don't care strongly about any of it, but on the rare occasion that i do reblog ship art or something, you can find it all in this tag right here. do what you will with that

you shouldn't take anything i say or make on this blog as indication of how i see these characters outside of the boom universe, given that i view the boom versions as completely different people from their mainline counterparts. this includes characters that weren't ever in boom yet have boom ideas for (e.g. rouge)

this should go without saying but i have a zero tolerance policy for bigots, predators, creeps, and anyone else the vast majority agrees to be scum. this includes zionists - and if you're here because you want to defend keanu reeves' honor or something similarly stupid because of this post i made then might i suggest saving your breath and doing your daily clicks, buying e-sims for gaza, and/or sharing/donating to a vetted fundraiser instead because all of that's much more productive than you saying some annoying shit that i'll most definitely ignore and block you for

and that's pretty much all i can think of atm! if you think i sound scary because of everything i said above, i promise i'm not, i'm just a person on the internet trying to vibe :] i tend to keep to myself but i absolutely don't mind people sending me asks etc. and in fact i encourage that you do! let's bond over the shitpost section of the sonic franchise and play around with its legacy together

[amendments]

Pro vs Anti-shipping opinions from someone who is Neutral...and will get canceled on both sides anyway

It’s fair and 100% ok to deem ships that are problematic, “problematic”, and be uncomfortable with them...and maybe even try to discourage people from shipping them, but you absolutely do not have the right to act like an authoritarian little sh!t and dictate what people can and can’t do. Block and move on.

Proshippers can effectively draw/write/create whatever they want. This is the internet and no matter how much you whine and complain, the internet isn’t going to adopt a pro-censorship stance. However, if you create content for an obviously disgusting pair, you’re going to get criticism, and people are going to find you creepy. You will be judged, even if you’re using your ship as a coping mechanism. No one is free from it.

Criticism, suggestions, and expression of discomfort are NOT BULLYING. If someone doesn’t like your ship, too bad. However, if you’re blatantly telling someone to kay why ess, hurt themselves, giving them some type of violent threat, or are doxxing them, you’re a disgusting person and no better than the people who commit said actions you’re against.

If you’re a proshipper and bullying kids, you’re also apart of the problem. Be the bigger person and block/report.

No, not all proshippers are creeps, some are just people who are anti-censorship, sick of PC culture and ship said ships out of spite, and/or don’t actually like anything bad themselves.

No, not all antis are annoying harassers, stalkers, or minors, some are people who are genuinely concerned about the questionable work you put out or may expose to minors/victims. Also, the lack of restrictions of minors in NSFW spaces is...sus -_-

Yes, there are predators in proship spaces, but there are also predators in antiship spaces, and literally everywhere else on the internet. This isn’t a ship problem, it’s a fandom problem.

Antis who claim that neutral people are just as bad as proshippers, actually push us away. You aren’t making us want to side with you. In fact, you’re doing the opposite. Most people who are neutral/position-less are actually people who really don’t care. Why? Because ships and fandoms don’t engulf our lives, and we actually have more important things to worry about than bullsh!t that strangers online are fighting about.

No, not saying anything or having a position on a topic is not inherently condoning it, it’s just not involving yourself in the problem. -_- It’s hard to really speak about something that’s not on your radar.

No, literally nobody in real life cares, or will care, about this debate. Most people (surprise, surprise) don’t really care about fandoms in general. (Amazing I know). Frankly, I’ve seen people on both sides that are waaaay to invested in this discourse and need to go outside. If you are super passionate about literal internet discourse, go to the park and touch grass.

Antis who are minors, I can genuinely tell you, that no, bosses in the real world really don’t care about what their employees do as hobbies outside of work. If you actually tried to contact employers about NSFW art (of fictional characters) that an employee drew on their own free time, unless you give them actual evidence of them acting inappropriately towards real people, they will ignore you. It is only a concern if that person has actually expressed illegal behavior which could put actual people in danger. (BDSM art of All Might and Deku isn’t going to get someone fired).

Antis, yeah, people will find problematic ships gross, if you tell someone about them. But, unless they are actively involved in internet fandom culture, which the vast majority of people aren’t, they’ll completely forget about it 5 mins later.

Proshippers, no, people in real life don’t care about what you ship in your private life, but if you make your whole identity about your ship, or proshipping, people will think you’re a creep. You’re chronically online. Get a hobby outside of internet discourse.

I will unfollow problematic people, and people who have caused harm, but if you tag me because I’m following a proshipper, simply because they are a proshipper, and have not actually been a perve to real children, I’m not unfollowing them. And if you pester me about it, I will unfollow, block, and report YOU. Who I follow is my business, and I will not tolerate being harassed over Twitter drama. Buzz off.

I will also not unfollow someone who identifies as an anti, or simply criticized your ship if you do not give me evidence of them actually harassing people. I am allowed to have an opinion and engage with people who have similar disapproving opinions. Who I choose to interact with is my business alone.

I’m not un-tweeting a tweet just because a self proclaimed “proshipper” or “anti” tweeted it. Good art is good art, and good takes are good takes.

Some of you overuse the word “p£do” in references to ships. I don’t care how you view it, a ship between an adult and a minor that has a 2-3 year age gap is not p€dop1llic. This age gap is completely common among teenagers in real life, and you’re honestly sheltered if you think that’s automatically predatory. A 16 year old dating an 18 year old is a LOT less worse than a 20 year old dating a 30 year old, and the latter isn’t any less predatory or weird just because they’re both adults.

No, ships between two adults with a very large age gap, are technically not p€doph1llic, either. They may be predatory in nature, and you may perceive them as wrong and gross, but if it ain’t already illegal in real life, then it definitely ain’t on paper.

It doesn’t matter if she’s 1000 years old, we all know what the underlying intention of that character design is, buddy.

Speaking of underlying intentions, there’s a lot of unspoken racism and xenophobia rampant in anti-spaces...like more so than in pro-ship spaces. Racism is everywhere in fandoms, but white, western antishippers are...a particular breed...oozing with arrogance and ethnocentrism.

Thanks for reading my rambling novel if you made it to the end, this is just a venting post. I hate discourse.

[weaselbeaselpants]

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

[anotherbluesunday]

To anyone following me who is anti-trans, GC, or just exclusitory of trans people and think WE’RE (yes, I include MYSELF) creeps or liars or whtever monster you have wrongfully or naively painted the community as, unfollow me NOW. Right this instant, DO IT. I will not ask questions, pester, or interact with you if you try to comment on this about how “rude” I am being. Nuh uh. I’ve seen way too much hate going around and some of it is in my moots so if you’re one of those I have listed above, just unfollow and block me. My brother is trans, I am trans, and my father was but my mother (a staunch feminist) thought she could “save him” and he fucking died of a stroke ALONE in his home because my mother was afraid he would infect us with his ideals. She continues to say that he was possessed by the devil to this day and if you think that sounds crunge, welp, now you know what your uneducated remarks about the community sounds like.

Y’all seem to think—you radical feminists—that this is a choice or that we’re women doing this to avoid harassment or some bullshit. You don’t even take a second to consider our words and our stories and that the vast majority of us are authentically trans and are extremely uncomfortable with the genders we do not identify with. You are so focused on sticking it to men that you overlook the overarching theme in your own narrative—the fucking patriarchy!! You think that trans women are just creepy men trying to find new ways of harassing women when that isn’t even close to what’s going on. Of the isolated cases where this has happened they are out-numbered in staggering numbers by authentic trans women who are not creeps and not perverts parading as frauds. You are so wrapped up in your hatred that you cannot see how alienating it is and vile.

I am a trans man and a feminist. I believe that women (ALL WOMEN INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN) deserve equality, respect, and support. And if you got a problem with that and/or a problem with me then you can trot along and block me. I’m done with feminism being weaponized for discrimination and hatred. That was not what it was created for and I will not sit here and watch these conversations unfold with mutuals on my feed.

[crtter]

I think there is worst creep than self insert shipper who ship themselves with characters tho. Like. RPF fics. Like everyone talk about fiction all the time without uttering a word about the countless YouTubers who are treated like they aren't even real which is awful. I remember people saying that it's fun so it's ok and "I am just writing an oc with a celebrity name" and if they do they could just straight up write a original fic.

That bother me way more than any fictional self ship ever will but I never see any people talking about that. Is it because they are scared that the KPOP fans will retaliate since they do the same?

Oh yeah, hands down. RPF is just... not good. Like, I know a few artists and YouTubers have spoken out about how “they’re OK with it” but I believe the vast majority of them find it uncomfortable. Like, sure, having crushes and fantasizing about real life people is a thing but actually putting it down on paper and publishing it publicly online just feels disrespectful, plain and simple.

I mean, yeah, a lot of people operate under the assumption that “oh they’ll never see it!!!” but I’ve been in a fandom for a comedy group once and people there straight up linked them the smut incest fanfics they wrote about them as if it was nothing, so no, that’s definitely not a hard rule everyone who writes RPF respects and I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

Worst thing is when people write smut of real life, underage celebrities. It’s particularly popular now with certain YouTubers, I hear. I think everyone’s rule of thumb to how you should act towards any public figure should be “would I be personally uncomfortable if someone did this to me”? And like, I’m pretty sure most people would be super creeped out if they found out someone was writing stories in which they go on graphic detail about them getting it on with someone they’re just friends with or something of the sort.

Speaking of K-pop nothing against the music or anyone who’s a fan of it, of course, but I do wonder why this sort of thing is so prevalent in fandoms for such bands... is it just because they’re popular right now? I’ve had to block SO MANY people who draw N$FW and shippy art of K-pop artists... it’s so jarring to see a piece of art and go “oh this is very well-drawn, wonder which show there characters are from, or if they’re OCs” and finding out OP actually ships two real ass people together...

[9w1ft]

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰

[imdoingthismspaintadventure]

Worm 2.5 - In which Taylor makes a questionable decision

When we last read Worm, the trio were being horrible and Taylor NOPE’d out of school. possibly to consider Tt’s offer. I guess we’ll see how that goes

If you looked at Brockton Bay as a patchwork of stellar and squalor, upper class and lower class with no middle ground, then downtown was one of the nice areas.  The streets and sidewalks were wide, and that meant that even with skyscrapers in every other lot, there was a great deal of blue overhead.

So BB is a city with huge class disparity where the difference in wealth between districts is vast. It sounds more Gotham than Metropolis. (Even if Gotham is probably unmatched in how much of a shithole it is. Holy shit that place is cursed)

Following my retreat from school grounds, I hadn’t been sure what to do.  My dad worked an unreliable schedule, so I couldn’t spend the rest of the afternoon at home unless I wanted to risk having to explain what I was doing home on a school day.  I didn’t want to hang around the general area of my school, so that had left me the options of the half-hour walk to downtown or a trip to the Boardwalk.  Between my morning runs and the previous night’s escapades, I had seen enough of the Boardwalk, so I’d decided to head downtown.

Yeah that seems sensible. Going to the boardwalk seems like it risks an encounter from one of Lung’s subordinates, which were apparently seeking revenge. Although that shouldn’t be a problem given than Armsmaster took both the credit and the blame.

Poor Danny, he’s totally lost control of this situation.

I didn’t want to dwell on the subject of school or Emma, so I turned my focus to the recent message from Tattletale.  She wanted to meet, presumably to repay the favor she felt she owed me.  I considered the possibility that it was a trap, but I couldn’t imagine any angle where it would be.  She just didn’t have any reason to go after me.  The worst case scenario was that it wasn’t Tattletale, but that wasn’t the impression I’d had.  What she said in the message seemed to flow with what I had seen of her last night.  I would be careful, nonetheless.

Yeah I can’t think of any reason they would have to go after her besides being cartoonishly villanous, and they didn’t seem like the type.

That it is a trap from someone else (like one of the flunkies who were in the fight and saw the bugs) is more believable, but that is also unlikely, I think.

I think it’s genuinely Tattletale wanting to meet, which is also the most narratively interesting situation.

 It was perplexing.  These guys were, in large part, virtual unknowns. From what I knew of Grue and Hellhound, they were both marginally successful B-list villains who had been barely scraping by.  Now both were on a team that was pulling high profile heists and confounding even the likes of Armsmaster.  The two of them seemed totally different in methodology and style, and if I was remembering right, both Grue and Hellhound had lived in different cities prior to teaming up and setting roots in Brockton Bay.  That raised the question: who or what had drawn these four very different individuals together?

Damn, seems like they leveled up! They got much more organized and competent! And are pulling larger scale heists!

They do seem pretty different! A darkness-generator seems more stealth based, as opposed to the feral monster dogs. But they seem to have good synergy!

Maybe Tt organized them and brought them together? We know so little of both her and Regent...

It was possible that Tattletale or Regent were the uniting factors, but I couldn’t really imagine it, having seen what I did of their group dynamic.  Grue had poked fun at Regent rather than treat him like a leader, and while I couldn’t put my finger on it,  the more I imagined Tattletale uniting that group of unconnected people with powers, the harder I found it to picture.  In fact, when I thought about it, hadn’t Grue said they had fought for a considerable amount of time over how to deal with Lung?  It didn’t really sound like they had any leadership worth speaking about.

So they seem to be competently organized while also having no organization at all and frequently bickering. Hmm.

Maybe there’s a shadow leader, or another group behind them? Or maybe they just work like that, in some weird way.

It wasn’t hard to sympathize with Armsmaster.  The whole scenario there was just bizarre, and it was made worse by the fact that there were practically no details as far as Tattletale or Regent went. Information, it seemed, was a major factor when dealing with capes.

Knowledge is power. If you know somebody’s weakpoints or full extent of abilities, it makes things a lot easier

Information is often underestimated in series that are all about powerlevels and strength, but I love it when it makes a difference.

The streets were busy with people on their lunch break.  Businessmen and businesswomen were heading to restaurants and fast food places.  My stomach growled as I passed a line of people waiting their turn at a street vendor.  I checked my pockets and winced at the realization that I didn’t have enough for even a hot dog.  My lunch had been in my backpack.

Have I mentioned that Taylor’s daily life sucks hard? Because it does.

I stopped myself before I could finish that train of thought and put myself into a worse mood by dwelling on what had happened at school. Still, as I thought back to the circle of villains and Tattletale’s message, the amusing thought crossed my mind that I could ask them to repay the favor by buying me lunch.  It wasn’t a serious thought, but the ridiculousness of the mental image – me eating a burger with a group of supervillains – put a dumb smirk on my face.  I was pretty sure I looked like a moron to anyone on the street who happened to glance at me.

Hehehe

That sounds awesome.

Supervillain burger time!

As I thought on it, though, the notion that I might actually consider taking Tattletale up on her offer of a meeting nagged at me.  The more I thought on it, the scarier the idea got, and the more it seemed to make sense.

Uh oh, I can feel the incresingly more likely villainous path for Taylor creeping closer

What if I did take them up on the offer?  I could meet them, talk with them, see what they had to offer, and all the while, fish for information.  If I got anything worth sharing, I could turn around and give it to Armsmaster so he could use it against them.  Just going by what Armsmaster had said about these guys and the scarcity of information on them, it would be a pretty major coup for the good guys.

Uhhh that sounds shaky at best and a horrible idea at worst.

You would have to get close to them and then betray their trust. Which is both rough, cause you tend to form emotional ties with people, especially for someone as isolated as Taylor; and it is also dangerous, as you make very dangerous enemies in the process who know a lot about you

Okay, so they would likely see my ploy as a monumental betrayal if and when I pulled it off.  I would be making enemies.  That said, I suspected that when it came out that I was a hero and not a villain, they would count it as such regardless.  Didn’t it make sense to leverage as much information as I could from them before they caught on, as far as their misconception went?

What the?

Someone finding out their assumptions about you were wrong and someone finding out you personally betrayed them and screwed them after getting close to them are two very different things

I feel like we are in a very high speed bad decision train of thought.

I turned around and headed in the direction of the public library.  It was only a few blocks away.

The library was busy, which made sense, given the number of offices and businesses around, the number of people wanting some quiet during their lunch hour, and people doing research or casual browsing they couldn’t do at their workplaces.  I would have included Brockton Bay’s biggest and fanciest high school, the nearby Arcadia High, in that generalization, but I doubted many students were spending their lunch breaks at the library.

Going to the library to clear your mind and think about all of this?

The Central Library looked almost more like a museum or art gallery than anything else, with tall ceilings, pillars and massive pieces of artwork hung to frame the hallways between the major sections of the building.  I headed up to the second floor, where there were about twenty computers and a line of people waiting their turn to use them.  I anticipated a fifteen or twenty minute wait, but as the clock approached one o’clock, people headed back to work and the line rapidly thinned out.  A free computer came up within a few minutes of my joining the line. I let the person behind me go on ahead, waiting a bit longer so I could get a station with a little more privacy.

Oh is she heading to the library computer to avoid being traced as she responds? Smart!

Also I would love to be in that library. All of the yes.

By the time I sat down, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to write.  I found the message with the search function and clicked on the username ‘Tt’.  A drop down menu appeared, and I chose ‘send private message’.  It gave me the option of making an account, signing in with an already existing account, or sending the message as an anonymous guest.  I chose the last option, then typed:

Subject: Re:Bug

Bug here.  Would like to meet, but want proof you are Tt.  I’ll reciprocate if needed.

Welp we put the plan in motion it seems! A very dangerous plan at that!

Going to the library, using an anonnymous identity, asking for proof...Taylor is being very smart in doing something that seems very dumb

I didn’t send it right away, taking a moment to consider.  Getting decent proof would prevent any potential problems like the message turning out to be a trap laid by, say, Bakuda.  Leaving the burden of proof on Tattletale and leaving it up to her to decide if she wanted verification I was indeed ‘Bug’ meant I didn’t have to worry about coming up with exactly how one might prove their identity.  I reread it twice over, then sent the message.

I don’t think it would be Bakuda, especially now that you commented on the possibility.

The reply came only two or three minutes later.  It was fast enough that I couldn’t imagine Tattletale taking the time to check and double check every aspect of her message the way I had mine.  Was that recklessness on her part, or just the benefit of experience?

Maybe she has a knack for these things? Or has done this before?

I closed the tabs I had opened in the meantime and checked to see what she had written.  It was a private message, from her to me, and it set my fight or flight instincts in high gear:

Subject: re:Bug

Proof?  Last night you didn’t say anything until I asked your name.  Big guy had a mess of nasty bites and you pepper sprayed him and I told my pal G that when he asked.  Good enough?

G R and me will meet you at the same spot we crossed paths last night, k? Don’t have to get gussied up if you catch my drift. Rest of us will be in casual wear.

If we meet at 3 will that give you enough time to get there from library with everything you need?  let me know

Ta ta

Oh what the fuck

Tattletale knows you are in the library? That is concerning

Is that her power? Is she able to know where people are and what they are doing? Therefore knowing their “secrets”, hence the nickname? That seems very powerfull

Let’s hope her mental-type power doesn’t also include reading minds, cause if it does, you are already extremely fucked.

Remember what  I said before about this being a bad idea? With the possibility of a mental power in their group, multiply that ten times.

My heart pounded.  She knew where I was, and she was letting me know. Why?  More to the point, how?  Had I unwittingly entered an online exchange with a savvy hacker?  I knew my way around computers, my mom had made sure I had one since before I could read and write, but I would be lying if I said I could tell if I was being hacked or do anything about it.

She could have just seen your library IP, I guess. Powers seems more interesting though.

I would have interpreted the casual mention of my location as a veiled threat if it didn’t run contrary to everything else in her messages to me.  Besides – Tattletale was talking about meeting me in casual clothes.  I took that to mean they wouldn’t be in costume.  I couldn’t understand why, but at the same time, it was hard to imagine her threatening me with one breath just a sentence after she’d offered to meet me in a way that made her totally vulnerable.

I would say her mentioning it was more of a power flex, than it was a threat.

And that move not only makes her vulnerable, it makes you vulnerable, It means that they both know your identity, and you know theirs. Which both sound really bad

Tattletale had unwittingly raised the stakes for my scheme.  My primary goal was to gather information on them, and here I was getting a chance to see them with their masks off.  It was too good to be true, which made me wonder what kind of safeguards they had in place to protect themselves.

I think the stakes were already higher than you realized. This is an insanely risky move. There is a reason why only trained professionals are double agents.

I just had no idea what I would be getting into.

That is an understatement.

The screensaver came up while I stared at the monitor with thoughts racing through my head.  The words ‘BROCKTON BAY CENTRAL LIBRARY’ scrolled across the screen in varying colors.

I bet it never hits the corner.

If I went, best case scenario, I could get enough information to turn them in.  I’d get mucho cred from the good guys and respect from an international celebrity.  If I’d judged Armsmaster right, I’d get even more brownie points if I gave him the info and let him – or helped him – make the bust.  On the flip side of the coin, the worst case scenario was that it was a trap, or they’d figure out what I was doing.  It would mean a fight, maybe a beating.  There was an outside possibility I could get killed, but somehow that didn’t concern me as much as it maybe should have.  Part of the reason for my lack of concern, I think, was that the possibility existed any time I went out in costume.  That, and from my interactions with them last night, I didn’t get a ‘killer’ vibe from them.

They are still villains! Villains you would royally piss off!!

Also I can’t help but feel that the “mucho cred” you would get from the heroes and the world is slighly idealized. The Risk/Reward ratio on this one is not good

On the topic of the status quo… if I didn’t go, what would happen?  This particular window of opportunity would likely pass, as far as being able to get the dirt on Tattletale and her gang.  That was okay, as I thought on it.  It was a high risk, high reward venture anyways.  Taking that path would mean turning down the meet, then killing time for the rest of the afternoon, trying to avoid dwelling on the fact that I had missed two straight afternoons of classes and might, maybe, miss more.   It was depressing to think about.

Is she subsconsciously putting herself in very dangerous situations as a form of escapism ? That doesn’t seem healthy

“Excuse me?”

Startled, I looked up.  A middle aged woman in a red jacket stood just behind me.  As I met her eyes she asked, “Are you done?”  She gestured at the computer, where the screensaver was still scrolling.

“Excuse me, ma’am, I was in the process of making a mistake”

Heady with the relief that she hadn’t been, irrationally enough, Tattletale, I smiled and told her, “Give me thirty seconds.”

Subject: Re:Bug

See you at three.

Well, we’re all in now. Let’s see how this goes.

[zekethegm]

Campaign Update 2

Update 1

Continuing from where we left off.

The trio head into the hall and Orpheus peers out the window to the front of the building cautiously. “A dozen more in front and the way they have that vehicle backed up I suspect something lies in wait there too.” He says grimly.

Jaylene returns from the other side of the hall. “Can’t get a clear look at the rear alleyway. We would have a nice choke point to mitigate their number back their but it could also be an easy way to get cornered.” She reports.

“Sister Veida, how familiar are you with this Hab pattern?” Orpheus asks.

“The Colossus pattern is quite common, especially in this system.” She responds. “Every ten floors a catwalk should extend to keep stairwells and auto lifts from becoming too congested.”

Orpheus nods. “We could sneak across there and leave completely unnoticed.”

“Or one of us could take position from above and catch the scum in a crossfire.” Jaylene proposes.

“There is also a subterranean parking deck.” Veida adds.

“Yes, but it is protected by electronic locks and we did not register the vehicle to this building to keep evidence of our staying here to a minimum.” Jaylene says.

Veida nods toward Jaylene. “And I’m certain that served well in delaying your discovery. As part of my duties in recording the history and culture of the peoples of this system I have collected and cataloged a number of technomat data scripts. I am confident that this lock will prove little challenge.”

Orpheus gestures to the stairwell. “Lead on then, Sister. We should take the stairs, though. If they begin to sabotage the building a lift could quickly become a coffin.”

The three descend the bleak stairwell of metal and concrete. The buzzing of inferior light fixtures are a constant as the thumping of heavy boots and the clattering sounds of weapons echo endlessly, announcing their descent.

They reach the bottom without interference and come upon a heavy door with a number bad installed into an otherwise featureless surface. “Most locks are not given a custom sequence in fear of the failure of human memory, or being charged with techno heresy. So the vast majority of these locks,” Veida says as she presses a seemingly random number routine, “are still operating under a preset unlocking rite.” The door swings open obediently and the three hurry through the parking deck.

As they come upon the exit ramp to the streets above Orpheus motions for them to slow. “Creep up the ramp just enough that you can see them, let’s not expose ourselves any sooner than we must.” The others nod and Veida takes the lead position.

Veida moves up the ramp until her head just comes up to street level. A purifying stream of burning promethium erupts from the end of her flamer as five gangers meet a painful, screaming end.

The other five man squad have just begun to mount a counteroffensive when Jaylene’s combat shotgun matches Veida’s flamer for kills. The furious burst of shotgun blasts perforated the whole area and Jaylene doesn’t let go until the bolt holds open to an empty chamber. “Last magazine.” She declares as she reloads.

Orpheus strides to street level. “Surrender and throw down your weapons and I will show lenience. This is your only opportunity.” Movement is heard inside the vehicle though no surrender is spoken. “They are unrepentant, Sister.”

Veida storms up the length of the ramp to stand on street level and engulfs the vehicle in flames, the promethium easily pours through holes in the armored windows and flows up through the cracks around doors. The vehicle becomes a howling crematorium as the gangers inside perish.

“Jaylene, ready the car, Veida, give me a hand.” Orpheus orders as he walks to the rear of the vehicle. The rear doors hang open and a heavy stubber, scorched and covered with an ashen corpse, sits at the ready. “It’s still operational, this could come in handy.” Orpheus says as he takes up a grip opposite Veida. The two pull it off its mounting with ease and stow it in the trunk of the undercover Arbites cruiser.

As soon as they get moving Jaylene contacts her precinct. “This is Investigator Jaylene Magall, Safehouse Omnibus has been compromised, over twenty summary judgments performed during the escape. Requesting a secure vehicle bay open at precinct 99.”

“Preparing for your arrival as we speak. We just received a report of two improvised armored vehicles on your vicinity running fast and hot, dispatching backup.”

“Negative.” Jaylene orders into the vox system. “Reinforce the precinct perimeter, they’ll be most desperate when our escape is within reach.”

“Understood. Emperor protects you, Investigator.”

Just as the exchange ends two bulky vehicles with armor sheets bolted and welded on appear from a side street. Dark plumes of exhaust flare up as the oversized engines spur the vehicles on to impressive speeds. The window plating folds down and a crowd of shotgun barrels expose themselves, bristling from every open hatch they unleash relentless fire.

The blasts rip across the cruiser and crack and chip at the armored glass, nearing a complete shatter quickly. “I thought you said this thing was rated against small arms fire!” Orpheus bellows.

“It is! For standard ammunition! They must be loaded with manstoppers!” Jaylene retorts.

Veida leans out and blasts a stream of flame which the vehicle quickly evades by tapping the brakes to stay just out of the burning stream. “Damn them all! Can’t they even die with dignity?”

The other vehicle begins picking up considerable speed and Orpheus activates the vox projection array, broadcasting his voice loudly outside the vehicle. “Good, a little closer and I can slit your throats myself.” He growls. The vehicle backs off with a screech and reveals its own compliment of shotgun wielding criminals, blasting out the rear windshield and putting a handful of holes into the hull.

“I’ve driven worse.” Jaylene reassures them.

One of the vehicles pushes their acceleration and flies past the cruiser, opening its rear doors to reveal a Heavy stubber. “Evasive maneuvers!” Jaylene hollers. “Orpheus, pass me your pistol!” Veida shouts over the chorus of shotgun blasts, engine sounds and screeching tires.

Interrogator Letra holds his bolt pistol out, Veida goes to take it but Orpheus won’t let go. “This weapon was made by some of the most skilled hands in the galaxy. If you drop this weapon, we are stopping to pick it up. Understood?”

Veida nods and takes the weapon, firing a single shot which zips just over the barrel of the heavy stubber causing the gunner to hurriedly duck and lose his aim as the heavy weapon sprays ammunition haphazardly across the street, missing the cruiser entirely.

“Emperor be praised.” Veida says under her breath as Jaylene’s driving is able to soften the impact of the ceaseless barrage of shotgun blasts.

Orpheus activates the vox system once more. “You are firing upon an agent of the Emperor’s Holy Inquisition!”

Immediately the vehicle in the rear breaks off and disappears down a side street. The one in front ceases firing but maintains it’s position, indistinct shouting erupts from within. Orpheus joins the inaudible discussion, “I have seen more than twenty of your comrades slain in the past hour, what makes any of you think you will fare better?”

The vehicle slams it’s rear doors shut and flees expediently.

Veida passes the bolt pistol back to its owner. “You can do quite a lot with a few words, Interrogator.”

“Thank you, Sister. All things being equal I would rather rely on your flames or Jaylene’s shotgun than my words but when only words will do it helps to have the best of them.” He replies.

Jaylene pulls into an awaiting vehicle bay and a pair of servitors begin attending to repairs immediately as the three enter the precinct fortress. Jaylene quickly leads them into a hallway and opens a room where a handful of subordinate officers work at data terminals and sift over pict logs.

“I am commandeering these quarters until further notice, if you wish to contest my actions, my name is Investigator Jaylene Magall, you can take it up with Captain Navick.” Jaylene orders. The working officers gather their supplies, salute and leave without a word.

Once the room is empty Jaylene locks the door and takes a seat. “What’s our next move?” She asks.

“Well,” Orpheus says, taking a deep breath and rubbing his neck. “we know which gang is perpetrating these actions, the Breakwater Bonded, and their territory is known to the local enforcers which you have access to, correct?”

Jaylene nods.

“So we know who is doing it, where they are and who is running this operation.” He says pulling the paper found on one of the gangers earlier. “But, after reading this, it is clear they are just hired muscle. Yes they are guilt of their crimes but they only did it for the payout, even if we were to wipe them all from history their employer would find some other criminal retinue to handle the deed.”

“What about the interrogation? What did you learn?” Veida asks.

“The next target is an Imperial temple in the 8th district, 11th block of this stratum of the Hive. They will suspect their operation was compromised which will mean they will either abandon the target, or if the employer is insistent on this target, they will try to act before we can make use of the information.” Orpheus says, pacing to the wall where a map of the local hive sector is displayed.

“We need to defend the temple.” Veida declares adamantly. “If we attempt to make a move on their territory and neglect one of our flanks for even a moment they could easily sneak a small team by to carry out the bombing and then the interrogation was for nothing anyway.”

Jaylene nods. “Of course if we fail on that we get disintegrated by a small atomic bomb.”

Orpheus notes Vieda’s look and elaborates. “The crime in question is the placing and detonating of small atomic devices. The deepest reaches of Williams Breach are populated by mutant laborers who mine radioactive minerals for the creation of atomic macrocannon shells. Somehow this gang’s employer has gotten a hold on some so these bombs are utilizing military-grade atomic material. Not only have these events eroded the morale and faith of the people, opening the door to heretical practices in their desperation but the sites have been left irradiated resulting in widespread illness and much difficulty in rebuilding and forgetting the attack in the first place.”

“All the more reason to ensure this attack fails.” Veida says with determination.

“We’ll need a safehouse.” Jaylene notes. “I don’t have access to anything in the area, that’s all Ecclesiarchy jurisdiction.”

“Or their chamber militant.” Orpheus adds, looking to Veida. “How close are your ties with the Adeptus Sororitas?”

“The closest I have.” Veida says as she seeks contact through a secure vox communicator in the room.

The vox speaker returns with a very familiar, “This is Sister Elise of the Burning Rose, identify yourself.”

“Sister Veida of the Nomadic Word.”

“Your vox signature is unfamiliar, is everything alright?” Elise asks.

“I am on Confragus, on assignment with a member of the Inquisition. Do you have any authority in the Imperial Temple of Williams Breach, 8th district, 11th block, mining level epsilon.” Veida asks.

The sound of static silence hangs in the air for some time before there is a response. “Yes, we have a Sister-initiate who is on watch there as part of her training.” Elise says.

“Could we receive sleeping accommodations nearby?”

“Nonsense, for you we will have the initiate take up a bed elsewhere, her quarters are yours to use as you see fit.”

“Thank you.” Veida says. “The Emperor provides, and may he reward you for your assistance.”

“To assist in his work is reward enough, Sister.” Elise replies.

Jaylene nods to Veida. “Well, that’s good news.”

“I have more.” Orpheus declares. “I have some contacts in the Astra Militarum and have managed to acquire the advice of a demolitions expert. Jaylene, if you can send a copy of the data script from the temple’s construction to this logis-address.” He scribbles a series of numbers on a nearby piece of paper. “Then we can anticipate where the bomb is most likely to be placed.”

Jaylene takes the paper, looking over it carefully and securing it in a pocket of her armor. “It’s a very good start but how do we actually stop this thing?” She asks.

“I can disguise myself as a member of the Ecclesiarchy. I know all the rites and rituals and bear a degree of authority there anyway.” Veida offers. “It will allow us to get as close as possible to those who enter.

“Your armor is distinct.” Orpheus reminds her.

Veida shrugs. “I will shed it then, my faith will protect me.”

“I don’t like the idea of you going unarmored, looking for someone smuggling in a bomb.” Jaylene says.

Orpheus nods. “Agreed, I will find you some armor that you can wear beneath your robes. I’ll gather some surveillance equipment as well. We can sleep in rotation. Two will stay on watch while one sleeps, working on an 8 hour sleep pattern.”

“Veida walks the crowds in the day with you for the first half and me for the second then when she goes to sleep you wake up and we work the night hours.” Jaylene states.

“I’ll man the surveillance pict-feeds during my shifts, Jaylene, you will monitor the feed for your portion of the day shift and walk the floor at night.” Orpheus says.

A silent agreement passes between the three. “Then it is decided.” Orpheus says.

Tag so you can find this easily @sincerestaffect

[writtenbybigoceans]

Sleeping Beauty | FLIPPED

A/N: So, after a few months of awful writer's block and being so uninspired with writing and tumblr in general, I somehow dug myself out of that weird sad hole and came up with this. It’s based on the story of sleeping beauty but the genders are switched! I hope it’s ok and let me know your thoughts xx (2700 words)

* 

Her muscles burned and shrieked, aching in places she didn’t know she had. Her limbs were heavy, legs weak, barely able to carry her own weight. Blood spotted her vision as she stared down at her own hands, ashy pale and blurred with heat against the blackened bricks they were pressed against. All around her was the furious roaring of flames. Each breath seared her throat and burned her lungs.

Move.

There’s an almighty screech from above and she throws herself to the left, hitting the floor hard as she rolls out of the torrent of flames that spew down from the heavens. Gasping for oxygen that’s quickly burning up in the inferno, she falls back against a chunk of bricks that must have been ripped out of the side of the bridge by the monstrous talons of the fiery beast rearing above her.

Its obsidian eyes blaze, white dagger teeth snapping. Reared back on its hind legs, it’s as tall as a mountain. The immense tail whips about, scales glittering like rubies set alight and poisonous barbs dripping fire.

“Come on, little knight,” booms the inhuman voice, shaking the very foundations of the earth. “Face your fate with your foolish courage.”

The finality of the battle settles itself on her armoured shoulders. This impossible quest had come to a neat, brutal ending, just as it was meant to.

Her hair was coming loose from its braid and stuck to her cheek with either sweat or blood, she didn’t know. It didn’t matter now. Gritting her teeth with the effort, she clambers to her feet, using the hilt of the sword as a support. She raises her eyes up, up, up the enormous body of the beast to those awful eyes, and raises her sword.

The beast seems to grin, baring every razor-sharp tooth. With a shriek it launched forward and so did she.

Leaping out of the line of its jaw, she feels the teeth snap closed a hairs’ breadth from her heel, and hears the scrape of the tail as it swings directly at her. At the last second, she swings upwards with every ounce of might she has. The blade sings as it slices through the air and makes contact. The glistening poisonous tail falls to her feet with a wet thud. The beast lets out a shriek like the gates of hell had burst open.

It lunges back at her and snaps its teeth, missing again and crashing into the heavy stone railing that lines the edge of the bridge. With an infuriated screech, it rears back, blinking in the smog until its eyes find her. Before she can move an inch, it’s giant claw swipes her up off the bridge and lifts her up until she’s perfectly in line with its bottomless black eyes.

“You’ve lost, little knight,” it growls. She writhes against the constricting grip but it’s pointless. Her sword is all she has and it’s useless from such a distance from the dragon’s fleshy underside. Even if she was close enough, she would have to puncture the heart or a major artery to do any damage at all. The artery in its neck would do but the area is too narrow to risk. The heart was meant to be to the right, just below the shoulder.

“Goodbye, little knight.” The jaws open wide, unleashing the torrent of flammable gas that precedes the fire. She swings her sword arm back, aiming her sights on the exact patch of pale flesh where the heart is meant to sit just half a metre under the skin, swings forward and releases the blade.

It flies through the air, twisting over itself and sinks home. The dragon jolts, shock colouring its eyes. All times stands still. Ink black blood pools around the handle of the blade where it sits in the flesh, pouring down the front of the dragon as it sways in its place before crashing to the ground, taking her with it.

The breath is punched out of her lungs as she hits the bridge, dragon’s fist still closed around her although the grip has gone limp. With a loud grunt, she kicks the taloned fingers open and rolls onto the debris-strewn battleground and clambers to her feet.

The body is on its side, the hilt of her sword sticking straight outwards to the sky. It takes a few tugs to release the blade and it comes out slick with inky blood.

“I fucking hate dragons,” she mutters, wiping it weakly against her leg and sliding it back into the sheath strung across her back. Finally, she turns her eyes up to the silent castle which had formed the background of the gruesome battle. Its towering walls stand undisturbed, turrets still as a glacier. Not even the flags raised high on the poles seemed to flap in the wind.

She ventures forward, across the rest of the bridge and through the open gate.

The streets inside the walls are just as absent of life as the outside had been. There wasn’t a soul in sight, not a single open shop or window. The sun, though blurred into a pale orb by the billowing back smoke from the fires outside, was still high in the sky. People should be out, bustling about the narrow streets and alleys, shouting to each other over the racket of stalls and animals and life but the only sound echoing off the walls was her metallic footsteps. She can’t help the chill that races down her spine.

Finally, the narrow path opens onto a wider street. The spiralling towers of the castle, visible through the narrow gaps between the buildings, draw ever closer until finally, she’s at the foot of a flight of stairs leading to the final barricade, a heavy wooden arched door with a smaller doorway in the centre.

The first person she comes across since she entered the city is the guard at the gate. He’s slumped over, head resting against the stone wall and long spear held loosely in his hands. She draws cautiously closer, searching for an injury or blood or something. But there’s nothing. Soft, muffled snores tumble from his mouth and his eyes dart around behind his eyelids. He’s asleep.

Her eyes quickly spot a single key hanging from his belt. Edging closer, careful not to make a sound, she reaches out and closes her fingers around it, lifting it offs its hook. The guard continues snoring without interruption. Without another hesitation, she unlocks the door and lets herself through.

On the other side, another guard is asleep in the same fashion. She hurries up the path and into the castle. The moment she steps over the threshold, she spots a woman leant against the wall. Her chest is rising and falling evenly, and she looks peaceful as if somehow she just dozed off there. A loud snort erupts from behind her. She whirls around to find a stout man curled into a ball at the foot of a pillar, snoring like the guard outside.

Unlike the eerily abandoned city streets, the entrance hall to the castle is littered with figures, all dozing in variously odd places around the room. No wonder no alarm was raised about the battle taking place just outside the city. Some strange and powerful enchantment must have been performed on them for this result. By the dragon or by someone else? Were they still in the castle?

She creeps forward, moving as silently as possible throughout the chamber to another vast room with a wooden throne at one end before another hopeless thought occurred to her; how would she find her way through an empty, alien castle to the prince she was meant to be rescuing? If there really was another person here who had cast this spell on the people of the city, they could easily be lying in wait for her and she would have no chance.

There were three exits from the second chamber, one she had come through, one to the left and one to the right. From memory, there were turrets one both sides of the castle but the tallest was on the left. Didn’t it follow logic to keep the prince in the highest part of the castle?

With that thought firmly in mind, she turns left and follows the corridor in that direction.

After a series of long corridors, winding staircases leading ever higher, and dead ends forcing her to double back, she reaches the tightest set of steps yet. The few windows dotting the walls are shrouded with grey smoke, leaving only silhouettes of the other turrets of the castle but she’s sure she’s higher than all of them. As she climbs, she becomes dizzy from the narrow spiral of the steps. The floor is beginning to spin by the time she reaches the door at the top. Breathing shallowly, she listens intently at the door. Nothing, not a peep. She draws her sword anyway and shoves the heavy door open, barging into the room.

Nothing attacks her, nothing even so much as moves in the small room. It’s brightly lit despite the shrouded sunlight, with several windows set into the thick walls. All of the light seems to train on the large bedframe that dominates the room, hung with gauzy drapes that shroud its occupant.

She approaches carefully, inching towards the side of the bed. Reaching out with her hand not holding her sword, she draws back the thin curtain and finally gets a clear look at the still figure.

He, like everyone downstairs, was asleep, his chest rising and falling evenly under his royal blue tunic. His large hands were folded neatly on his stomach and his head was resting lightly on a pillow, brown curls in stark contrast to the cream linen. There was no pallor to his features, his cheeks were a soft rosy pink, as were his lips. He really did just look like he was sleeping.

He looked just as he had the day she had met him in the woods, although she never would have imagined then that she would be destined to go on a quest to rescue him from the clutches of evil.

Sheathing her sword again, she steps back.

The witch’s low, sinister voice echoes through her mind again, the words she speaks as twisted and puzzling as when she first heard them, bound with invisible ties in the middle of the forest. She can see the long dark cape trailing over the leaf-litter as the tall woman paced before her, drawing out every word as if relishing her captors fear. “By the time you reach him, it will be too late. His life ticks away with every passing second he dreams of the girl in the woods and what she never gave him.”

Y/n shivers as she remembers how the witch hooked one long sharp nail under her jaw and tilted her head up to look into her eerie black eyes.

“It’s too bad you’ll die here without ever having a chance of making those dreams come true.”

What she never gave him? She gave him a dance, her name, everything that could hold importance in enchantments like this, other than her life maybe. Stepping back to the edge of the bed and peering down again, she rummages through her memories, digging for something that would make sense. Her eyes wander over his face, his long eyelashes, prominent nose, rose pink lips.

“I only have one more request,” the handsome stranger smiles mischievously. She raises her eyebrows, turning to collect the things that she had lain down by the trunk of a tree. 

“Oh? Let’s hear it then.”

“A kiss.”

She freezes and glances at his bright brown eyes and wild curls before letting out a gentle laugh.

“I’m afraid kisses are reserved for only the most special and serious of circumstances,” she replies, slinging her bag across her back. The stranger's smile grows and it’s his turn to raise his eyebrows.

“What circumstances would those be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe if you were dying and it was the only possible chance of saving you. Or perhaps if I was somehow forced to.”

“Well, I won’t force you, and I don’t think I’ll be dying of something a kiss could fix anytime soon.”

“Then, unfortunately, that leaves you without any chance of a kiss from me.” She goes to walk away, turning her back on him.

“Wait!” he calls, jogging ahead of her and blocking her path. “Can I at least know your name?”

A smile breaks across her face as she answers.

“Only if you tell me yours.” He smiles and ducks his head in a slight bow as if they were meeting for the first time.

“Shawn, at your service.”

“Y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I have to go but be sure to get in touch if you ever really do need a curse lifted with a kiss.”

The chances of that working were slim but every second she wastes agonising over it is bringing him closer and closer to death. She takes a deep breath, wincing at the sharp pain in her ribs, and leans over the sleeping figure. If it weren’t for the spell, the clanging of the bulky armour alone would have woken him.

Placing one hand on the bed to support herself, she levels her face with his, letting her eyes flicker over his peaceful profile once more.

“God, I hope this works,” she murmurs before lowering her lips to his. They’re warm but still as a statue, unmoved by her touch. She pulls away, eyes trained on his marble features, searching for even a hint of movement. Nothing, not even a twitch.

Releasing all of her breath in one heavy exhale, she sinks back onto the edge of the bed. The final shred of hope withers in her chest. The whole quest had been for nothing. There was no other option she could think of to save him and all the other people under the spell. 

“You kept your word.”

She whirls around to find a set of honey brown eyes trained on her. His gentle smile fades the second he gets a clear look at her face and he pushes himself up into a sitting position quick as a lightning bolt. The mattress jostles as he moves, shaking her and sending a stabbing pain down her side that makes her gasp in pain.

“What? Where are you hurt?” Shawn asks frantically, searching her armour-clad form for some giant red arrow pointing to her wounds.

“It’s fine, just bruised my side in the fight,” she assures him, pursing her lips as the last of the pain fades. He sighs, reaching up to cup her cheek where blood had leaked from a thin cut over her cheekbone. “It looks worse than it is.”

“It looks like you took on a dragon, or twenty,” he retorts, examining the rest of her face. Her silence seems to clue him in and his eyes widen in shock. “A dragon?!” he exclaims.

“A witch transfigured into a dragon, so yes and no.”

“I’m sorry I got myself cursed and you had to take on a dragon to keep your word,” he says, dragging his thumb lightly over her skin. Warmth blossoms from his touch, spreading across her cheeks and making her heart shudder.

“I’d do it all again,” she murmurs before she can stop herself. His honey gold eyes flit up to hers, searching for the answer to his unspoken question. He leans closer, bringing their noses barely a hairs’ breadth away. Her heart was nearly combusting at this point. Every inch of her body was tensed in anticipation for the contact she longed for. Finally, he closed the distance between them, joining their lips in a breathless kiss.

“If you kiss me like that every time, I’d definitely do it all again,” she says when they finally break apart for air. He laughs as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’ll kiss you like that every day for the rest of our lives if you like.”

“I do.”

[hoxtilicioustf2]

Dear HxH fandom,

The recent actions that i’ve been spotting in here are beyond gross.

As someone who does not enjoy NSFW content of any form in this franchise, be it a solo adult, leopika, aged up killugon, or whatever under the sun, I’ve started my way out against this. Which left me following a large array of blogs on both sides of the spectrum. And now seeing this drama happen, I’m on the verge of walking through the door with this fandom. Which really sucks because Hunter x Hunter is my all-time favorite anime.

Things quickly went from a simple personal preference to pointing fingers and calling predators and sharing lists of people to block for merely an opinion which in my opinion is taking things way too far. Now if a person is an actual predator, they by all means deserve to be called out. But merely shipping something, or not being opposed to certain ships/deeds/etc. of the fandom? That’s not predatory at all! 

It’s a fictional universe. People are free to explore all the ‘what-ifs’ if they want to do so, including grotesque, dramatic situations, and so forth. It doesn’t harm anybody, no real child, no real person, because it’s fictional people. It would be different if this was RPF (real people fiction - which in my personal opinion is gross and creepy by default no matter the initial age of the participants) but Hunter x Hunter does not consist of real people as characters. Simply put : If you don’t like something, don’t follow the content creators of such content, block the tag, block the person even on your local end. But don’t go treating them like actual pedophiles or predators. Because in a vast majority of cases, they’re probably not.

Though, I can understand that with main tags and all things can get chaotic. 

Minors, I understand your notion that certain things can creep you out. In fact, I’m aware that minors should not be seeking out ANY NSFW content and adults who condone of this are actually punishable by US law. I know this from other fandoms I’ve been in, so i transfer you my knowledge. So it’s only fair you’re creeped out by this. And I can understand some of you might project yourselves on the characters so something like this can crush you and make you heavily uncomfortable. That’s fine, but you need to understand the world isn’t in your palm. And these characters, as much as you may wish, may be imagined differently in other people’s heads, since it’s fiction we’re talking about. Other people may wish to explore some other things, and now I’m not even necessarily talking of the ‘bad’ kind. So please try to de-personalize this, and learn to filter your content. There’s plenty tools out there to assist you such as XKit.

But just to stay on the safe side, people who like ‘grotesque’ content like certain ships or aged up nsfw, can’t you agree on a special tag together? Like something that stays away from the main tag, something minors and people who feel uncomfortable with such content (such as me) can easily blacklist. Ultimately many anime fandoms attract a lot of teenagers, as the label ‘shonen’ is targeted at teenage audiences. So i think something like this is in order because this is common practice in cartoon fandoms and certain game fandoms.

I don’t really support such stuff so I can’t really aid you, but I know from my part that this is just my personal preference. Nothing more, nothing less. And other people should learn that too. 

Not following your personal preference DOES NOT MEAN that the person is a disgusting predator/pedophile. 

So please stop killing eachother in the background and making the fandom a unpleasant place. 

Please and thank you.

[arizonagirldiary]

Letter from Birmingham Jail

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

King’s famous “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” published in The Atlantic as “The Negro Is Your Brother,” was written in response to a public statement of concern and caution issued by eight white religious leaders of the South. It stands as one of the classic documents of the civil rights movement.

I share with you this excerpt:

“While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling our present activities “unwise and untimely.” Seldom, if ever, do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all of the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would be engaged in little else in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work. But since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and your criticisms are sincerely set forth, I would like to answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and reasonable terms.

I think I should give the reason for my being in Birmingham, since you have been influenced by the argument of “outsiders coming in”

I am in Birmingham because injustice is here …I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states. I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider…

We have waited for more than three hundred and forty years for our God-given and constitutional rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward the goal of political independence, and we still creep at horse-and-buggy pace toward the gaining of a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. I guess it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say “wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick, brutalize, and even kill your black brothers and sisters with impunity; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she cannot go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her little eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see the depressing clouds of inferiority begin to form in her little mental sky, and see her begin to distort her little personality by unconsciously developing a bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son asking in agonizing pathos, “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”; when you take a cross-country drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading “white” and “colored”; when your first name becomes “nigger” and your middle name becomes “boy” (however old you are) and your last name becomes “John,” and when your wife and mother are never given the respected title “Mrs.”; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodyness”–then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over and men are no longer willing to be plunged into an abyss of injustice where they experience the bleakness of corroding despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience…

Now, what is the difference between the two? How does one determine when a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law, or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas, an unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality…

There are some instances when a law is just on its face and unjust in its application. For instance, I was arrested Friday on a charge of parading without a permit. Now, there is nothing wrong with an ordinance which requires a permit for a parade, but when the ordinance is used to preserve segregation and to deny citizens the First Amendment privilege of peaceful assembly and peaceful protest, then it becomes unjust.

Of course, there is nothing new about this kind of civil disobedience. It was seen sublimely in the refusal of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to obey the laws of Nebuchadnezzar because a higher moral law was involved. It was practiced superbly by the early Christians, who were willing to face hungry lions and the excruciating pain of chopping blocks before submitting to certain unjust laws of the Roman Empire. To a degree, academic freedom is a reality today because Socrates practiced civil disobedience.

We can never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was “legal” and everything the Hungarian freedom fighters did in Hungary was “illegal.” It was “illegal” to aid and comfort a Jew in Hitler’s Germany. But I am sure that if I had lived in Germany during that time, I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers even though it was illegal. If I lived in a Communist country today where certain principles dear to the Christian faith are suppressed, I believe I would openly advocate disobeying these anti-religious laws…

I have no fear about the outcome of our struggle in Birmingham, even if our motives are presently misunderstood. We will reach the goal of freedom in Birmingham and all over the nation, because the goal of America is freedom. Abused and scorned though we may be, our destiny is tied up with the destiny of America. Before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth, we were here. Before the pen of Jefferson scratched across the pages of history the majestic word of the Declaration of Independence, we were here …If the inexpressible cruelties of slavery could not stop us, the opposition we now face will surely fail. We will win our freedom because the sacred heritage of our nation and the eternal will of God are embodied in our echoing demands…

Never before have I written a letter this long–or should I say a book? I’m afraid that it is much too long to take your precious time. I can assure you that it would have been much shorter if I had been writing from a comfortable desk, but what else is there to do when you are alone for days in the dull monotony of a narrow jail cell other than write long letters, think strange thoughts, and pray long prayers?

If I have said anything in this letter that is an understatement of the truth and is indicative of an unreasonable impatience, I beg you to forgive me. If I have said anything in this letter that is an overstatement of the truth and is indicative of my having a patience that makes me patient with anything less than brotherhood, I beg God to forgive me.“

Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood,

MARTIN LUTHER KING, Jr.

[withasideofeggsy]

In the AM :: Im Jaebum

Hello friends! Mafia/gang au were always my favourite after watching KHR haha. So I finally gave a shot at it! I was really inspired by two amazing tumblr writers so I would like to thank them for motivating me to write after reading their work! A massive thank you to @narika-a who wrote a scenario with mafia GOT7, the plot of this fic is mainly developed from their scenario with Youngjae. And a special thank you to @jungk0oksthighs​ and their amazing mafia au fic giving me the final push to write this! I hope everyone enjoys it!

(Bless the soul who took this picture)

Word count: 28K (Mother of god)

Warning: coarse language, drunk people, smut, unprotected sex, violence, blood

Part 2

Summary: Jaebum is one of the most notorious gang leaders in South Korea. He is merciless and brutal allowing him and his group, GOT7, to own most of Seoul. One day he goes after a young female who happened to be interfering with his business, who ultimately stole 40 grand from him. However, he got the wrong girl. She was nothing but a poor student who worked overtime at night to pay for her rent, and when she’s not busy with school or work her favourite pass time was to give Jaebum a never-ending headache. The girl didn’t steal 40 grand from him. She stole so much more, his heart.

Jaebum pov

I watch her through the tinted windows of my car before wandering to the red digital numbers glowing on the dashboard. It read exactly 2 AM on the dot. A small smirk stretches across my face as I watch her bend over to lock the front doors of the run down pub cueing me to proceed with the schedule. It was all perfectly timed, in exactly 5 minutes she will be in the optimal position. I slip out of the black Camaro closely following her in her haste footsteps as she made her way back to her dingy apartment. At exactly 5 minutes time she stood in front of the dark alley, wasting no time I lunged forward grabbing her by the back of her jacket’s collar and pulled her into the dead end. She opened her mouth to scream so I quickly shut her up by slamming her small frame into the graffiti covered brick wall. She lets out a small cry which was then quickly followed by soft sniffles. Her body quakes under my strong grip and I almost felt slightly bad, just almost.

“Stop crying!” I order turning her around to face her tear streaked face.

Her eyes were squeezed shut in utter terror.

“Yah look at me girly, that’s the least you could do after stealing over 40 grand from my business!”

To say I was taken aback was an understatement when she started to yell.

“I don’t know what you are talking about! I’m dirt broke! Why else do you think I am out this late working at a shitty run down pub in the fucking ghettos?! I already had a shit day with creeps like you trying to take me home so for gods sake just leave me alone!” She screams finally opening her eyes to reveal the warmest (e/c) hue I’ve ever seen.

I would be more appreciative of them if they weren’t full of rage and sending daggers into my soul. I shook my head to clear out the doubts that started to swim in my mind. My perfect plan was flawless to the second but a small detail may have been missed, I may have gotten the wrong girl? No impossible, she must be acting innocent.

“Don’t lie to me!” I yell out in frustration causing her frustration to skyrocket as well.

She flails her arms smacking me in the face causing my already boiling anger to overflow.

“Let go of me you freak! Do you think I would be out here in shit city at 2 AM if I stole 40k from you? No! I would be at home rolling in silk sheets in piles of money you idiot!”

Okay I’ll admit, even though she was infuriating seeing that she was so keen on lying I couldn’t help but find her charming, especially at the wild reasoning she spewed on about. I roll my eyes roughly turning her to face the wall once again.

“Alright, that was funny at first but now I’m done,” I sigh ripping her long wool jacket clean off her back.

The seams of her coat tore open with a satisfying pop along with the plain white t-shirt she wore underneath. I toss the torn fabric across the snow covered alleyway leaving her cold and vulnerable in the cold night air. Her fierce aura left her body as quick as it came as she started sobbing once more, hugging herself as she stood there hunched over with a thin ripped shirt. I could clearly see the cold winter air biting at her bare skin where goose bumps started to form, however I couldn’t seem to find the signature dragon tattoo that was supposed to litter the vast majority of her back. At that moment I knew I fucked up.

“Fuck…fuck I’m so sorry. I-I got the wrong person. Haha surprise?” I nervously grin finally letting her out of my iron grip that will probably cause bruises to bloom all over her body later from man handling her.

Her lips quiver as she spares me one final look with her large doe eyes before bursting out in tears and making a mad dash out of the alley.

“Hey!” I called out, it wasn’t supposed to sound so threatening but I guess being friendly and approachable was not my forte. At my voice she sped up, disappearing around the corner.

“Fuck!” I hiss under my breath, kicking her jacket out of the way to follow her.

Your pov

I was running as if my life depended on it, and it probably was with this asshole creep stalking me. Work was rough like always with intoxicated greasy men trying to snag you home and now god was testing me by having this creep jump me. I could barely see with my tear-blurred vision but his loud booming voice motivated me to run raster than I’d ever had in my life. With adrenaline pumping through my veins I didn’t realize that there was a large group of men blocking my path until I slammed right into them. I quickly bow stuttering out an apology before trying to continue on home.

“Hey girly, watch where you are going huh? You spilled my beer all over my shirt!” One of the burly men slurred, great they were drunks.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat causing him to tut.

“A shirt for a shirt, take off yours babe and we can have some fun,” he suggests slyly reaching out to touch my exposed back.

I nervously step back, making contact with a sculpted body. Before I could successfully jump forward to break the contact the person held me tightly against his front.

“She said sorry, so fuck off,” says the voice behind me nonchalantly.

I break eye contact with the furious grubby drunkard to look up at my saviour. I practically jumped out of my skin when I see my “saviour” to only be the man who literally jumped me not even a minute ago. Was this a save to conquer situation? I wanted to pull away but for someone who dragged my ass into an alley to profusely scream at my face and then proceeded to rip the only jacket I owned to shreds – I felt quite safe in his arms. Well safer than to be at the dispense of the group of intoxicated men. I was taken aback by how calm and collected his entire aura seemed, he was indeed the human personification of a ticking time bomb. The group of drunks started to growl and advance like a pack of wolves closing on their prey. I subconsciously snuggle closer to the even scarier man behind me. In which he gladly pulls me behind him where I proceeded to clutch onto the back of his leather jacket.

“Do you know who you are talking to?” One of the men growls causing the tall well built man before me to chuckle.

“Maybe you should stop eying the girl and take a good look at who you are talking to.”

I was doomed.

How was pretty boy going to save me from a group of 8 brawny men? Should I just make a dash for it when they beat up this guy?  Is that wrong of me? Then again he attacked me first. I could be at home chilling in my pjs by now. All these thoughts swam through my head that I almost missed the scene that unfolded before me. Reluctantly the man who I bumped into looked up first, no matter how bad it hurt his ego to follow this stranger’s suggestion. I move my hands from the leather to gingerly hold his waist in anticipation. I watched in awe and slight worry, when the intoxicated man stumbled backwards. The man’s eyes grew to the size of saucers as one by one his friends started to do the same. As if the situation couldn’t get any weirder the group of men started to profusely bow their heads.

“I-I apologize JB! Please I’m drunk I didn’t know I was disrespecting you sir!” the man was a stuttering mess, and to be honest I’m not sure if I should feel smug about this or be terrified for my life.

Who was this guy?

The man, supposedly called JB, simply chuckles deeply instead of giving him a reply. The man stands there with his head lowered in anticipation as JB hummed.

“You alright?”

I blinked for a few moments taken aback by his unexpected soft side before nodding up at him.

“Consider yourself lucky then,” he sighs facing the group.

Relief fills me knowing that I wasn’t going to witness what this man JB was capable of doing that made him so notoriously well known on this side of town. The men collectively bowed and apologized once more only halting when JB lifted his hand in a silencing gesture. I hear the desperate shuffling of feet to get out of the proximity in case JB’s act of mercy fell short. I squeeze his waist subconsciously and he takes me by surprise wen he looks over his shoulder to flash me a small smile. I drop my hands back to my side looking away bashfully.

“Thanks…I guess considering that you jumped me earlier,” I wince at how sarcastic it came out.

I usually would take pride in my sarcasm but I realized that this guy could be the Asian equivalent of the Godfather. I rub at my arms awkwardly when he decided to stay silent instead of cussing me out, which I’ve pretty much associated with him. He scoffs rolling his eyes so hard he probably saw his brain. Another awkward silence envelopes us in the cold winter night causing me to sniffle.

“Um…this isn’t a save and conquer right?” I ask to be sure causing him to roll his eyes once again.

“No,” he clears his throat, “I’m sorry for attacking you earlier. I uh…thought you were someone else.”

I nod slowly still not maintaining eye contact with the handsome stranger.

“I guess that’s okay since you saved me and all…um I’m gonna head home now it’s kinda cold,” I mumble hugging myself as a futile attempt to maintain my body heat.

It took real effort in to not cuss him out, afterall I was cold because he destroyed the only jacket I owned and it was in the stark middle of winter. I kept the anger at bay though to take one final glance at him before turning on my heel.

“Wait,” he puts a hand on my shoulder stopping me in my tracks.

I reluctantly turn around to watch him shrug out of his leather jacket.

“Sorry about your jacket…you must be freezing,” he cheekily grins knowing fully well that this was all his fault.

I lick my dry lips and tugged my bottom one between my teeth shyly. I squeeze my eyes shut when he took a step forward only daring to open them again when I felt the warm embrace of the soft leather drape on my shoulders. He tugs the jacket closed with his beautifully long slender fingers.

“This is really not necessary…” I mumble attempting to shimmy off the jacket but he stubbornly held the jacket securely closed.

The man was painfully pushy, but I was already well aware of this when he physically pushed me into a wall earlier.

“Hold onto it for me until you get another,” he states coolly.

I couldn’t catch the scoff fast enough before it left my lips.

“Yeah I’ll keep this forever then. Like I mentioned before, I’m poor you jerk and you still ruined the only jacket I owned!”

JB’s expression turned surprised and fell back to his stoic one as quickly as it happened.

“Sorry? I guess you can keep it then.”

I roll my eyes throwing the jacket back into his arms, which he successfully caught mid air with his fast reflexes. I cross my arms over my chest with a huff.

“I don’t want it! You are probably associated with a gang or something and if I wear that it’ll probably make me the biggest target in this shit side of the city!”

At my little out burst I was taken aback when he threw his head back and started laughing.

“I can assure you, no one will touch you when you have this on your back,” he says between laughs draping the leather over my shoulders again.

“But you don’t deny that you are some gangster?” I try and he shrugs casually in his fitted black t-shirt seemingly unbothered by the cold weather.

“Let’s get you home,” he suggests placing a large hand on the small of my back. I took a few steps back towards the pub until some sense rang in my head.

“What? No thank you! I can get home myself!” I exclaim eying him suspiciously.

He rolls his eyes, “Was almost getting kidnapped twice in one night not enough for you?”

I pull away from him with both hands on my hips.

“Yes! That is why I rather go home myself,” I say defensively.

He sighs in frustration, his short fuse igniting. JB pauses for a moment then he abruptly chuckles.

“Honestly. It doesn’t matter I already know your address.”

My heart speeds up at his confession, it was practically hammering against my ribs. Seriously who is this guy? And how did he get the wrong person being so knowledgeable of his targets. I didn’t realize that I was looking at him with a gapping mouth until he gently taps my chin to close.

“Come, my car is this way,” he says guiding me back towards the pub.

“Oh no no no no!” I laugh planting my heel into the sidewalk, “I am not getting into your car! God knows where you will drive me to.”

“Your run down apartment?” he snarkily offers causing me to roll my eyes.

Literally every minute I’m with this one my blood pressure increases to concerning levels.

“Fine, we walk then,” he says leading me – back to my own home.

I wondered if he was freezing just being clad in a black t-shirt and in dark washed jeans but I didn’t want to seem to care so I didn’t ask. This stalker literally walks me to my apartment door and it was honestly extremely unsettling.

It was quite dark outside so when we stood in the dimly lit hallway in the apartment I finally got a good look at JB. His skin was fair especially in comparison to his dark midnight locks that were tastefully pushed back away from his forehead allowing a display of his forehead and beautifully sculpted eyebrows.

He was painfully handsome.

I clear my throat and fiddled with my keys avoiding eye contact with the handsome stranger.

“You know staring is rude,” he comments indifferently.

I gap at him and crossed my arms childishly, “So is jumping a person!”

JB chuckles deeply flashing his pearly whites in an award winning smile.

“You’ll never let that down huh?”

I shake my head, “Of course not! You really scared me!”

He unexpectedly tips my chin up with his index and middle finger.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah whatever…” I lamely add, I was really at a lack of words.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

I blink up at him. I could think of a million sarcastic remarks as to why I would ever want to see him again, but I decided to just humour him.

“Yeah okay JB.”

JB’s expression softened at the mention of his name, “You can call me Jaebum,” he suggests with a small smile.

“Yeah okay Jaebummie,” I tease rolling my eyes.

He winces at the nickname and I realized it could be a nickname only reserved for his girlfriend, which made the already awkward lingering air ten times thicker.

I clear my throat, “Sorry…”

His eyes widen in realization and he shakes his head, “Oh no it’s fine…it’s just that I’m not used to getting called by cute nicknames.”

Blood rushes to m cheeks an aftermath from his utter cuteness, but of course what left my lips was snarky per usual.

“Well obviously since you are using Justin Bieber’s nickname as your street name you goof.”

The expression on Jaebum’s face was ghastly. He was in complete shock by my comment and to be honest I was too. As soon as that left my mouth I slapped a hand over it.

“Okay that was uncalled for. I’m sorry! You make me really nervious and I can’t control what comes out!” I muffle out the confession beneath my fingers.

Jaebum shyly smiles shaking his head, “I…I think it’s endearing.”

Then his firecracker personality switched on, “But never refer to me as Justin Bieber okay? I’ll put a bullet through your head.”

“Yeah yeah yeah! It’s not like we will see each other again anyways!”

But we did

2 AM

As per usual I clicked together the last lock on the pub’s door. I really need to resign. It was like any other every night besides Monday’s where I got the luxury to have the evening off, it was shit. The only difference was when I turned around the typical view of the littered street was not there, instead my line of vision could only make out black leather, lots of black leather.

Please don’t be who I think it is, please god have mercy, I prayed slowly raising my head up.

“Oh god it’s you…” I sigh pinching the arch of my nose between my index and thumb, “We’re closed sorry, not really, go beat it.”

Jaebum stood there like the wall he was.

I roll my eyes, “Excuse me!” I chime side stepping away.

He chuckles pulling me back with ease.

“It’s nice to see you again, (Y/N),” he greets with a charming grin.

I raise a brow at him with a knowing smirk and he knew what was to come so he simply explained himself before I could question him.

“Yeah yeah, I finally learned your name by stalking you a little bit more.”

The sagging of his usually tall confident stance was a sight to see. As much as I enjoyed his company, sarcasm intended, I was very curious as to why he would be here, again, at this ungodly hour of the night – morning depending on how you perceived time.

I rub my arms for warmth as the relentless cold winter night nipped at my thin sweater.

“Ah…I knew you would be too shy to wear my jacket. Good thing I know you like the back of my hand due to my skilled stalking expertise!”

I blink.

Fiddling with the loops of keys, waiting for him to explain why he was such a big creep, or ultimately what brought him here again, since there wasn’t much to explain.

Despite yesterday’s embarrassing mistake he was intelligent enough to catch on quickly. He stutters slightly.

“I-I uh got you this…”

Jaebum forcibly shoves a nicely wrapped box in my arms before quickly running his fingers through his gel slicked black locks to keep his hands busy.

I gulp, looking up at him and back to the hefty gift box in my arms, “Should I be scared?”

With the signature roll of his eyes he waves his hand impatiently, “Just open it!”

I finally nod placing the box gently on the hood of the black Camaro he rolled up in.

He leans against the side of the car and watched as I pulled loose the silk ribbon. The lid of the box popped open to reveal crisp ivory tissue paper. At least I didn’t have to feat that there was someone’s cut off ligament in here.

I peer up at him and he nods his head towards the box.

Ripping off the tissue paper with the upmost care, you know, just in case there was a bomb in there. It revealed a classic Burberry scarf that laid on top of a now white wool jacket similar to the one that I lost yesterday. The only difference was that the quality was much better and the inner lining had the same pattern that the scarf had. Which only meant one thing.

It was way too expensive of a gift to accept.

I run my fingers gently across the soft fabric, “W-Why?” I shyly ask finally tearing my eyes away from the gift to Jaebum in utter awe.

Jaebum chuckles reaching out his large hand to pat my head gently, “Cause I feel bad destroying your only jacket, you literally poor soul.”

I nodded slowly, “But that doesn’t explain why it has to be Burberry! I can’t accept this!” I exclaim pushing the box of garments back to him.

A flustered blush dusted my cheeks, man who does this guy think he is? Seriously though who was this guy?

Throwing Burberry left and right where I can’t even throw spare change to the homeless on my way to work.

Jaebum sighs playing with the soft material of the wool scarf.

“Why can’t you accept the small gift (Y/N)?”

At his statement I was rendered speechless, “Small gift?”

I thought geez this guy is rolling in dirty money and it honestly made me furious that he sees no value in money for him to spend it so needlessly on materialistic possessions.

“It’s not a small gift! A small gift is like a…I don’t know? A keychain from a convenience store! Or like a ten dollar gift card to Mcdonald’s! I can’t accept this, it literally worths more than my life!” I explain waving my hands frantically for added effect to show Jaebum just how ridiculous this entire situation was.

Jaebum didn’t answer, but instead he drapes the soft scarf acround my neck snuggly.

“Yah, nothing is worth more than your life, you got it?” he chides, his fingers slipping from the scarf to return to his side.

I gingerly touch the soft wool engulfing my neck, almost afraid that I would ruin the much too expensive article of clothing.

“That’s a funny thought considering that you were about to kill me yesterday for costing you 40 grand,” I sarcastically add rolling my eyes.

Jaebum had a fond expression on his face, for some reason he found my defiance endearing when most found it extremely annoying.

“You will never let that go huh?” he chuckles unfolding the jacket from its box.

“You act like this happened years ago and I’m bringing it up. It literally happened yesterday!”

He laughs throwing his head back, he was adorable, his perfect pearly white teeth to his eye smile. I sometimes forget that this man was dangerous.

“I know, it’s just that I feel like we are long friends. You are so casual with me.”

“Who wouldn’t? You attacked me yesterday, we literally unlocked friendship level 7 where we can now share our tragic back stories and each other’s clothes.”

“You’re funny (Y/N),” he says with his cutesy smile, “I guess since we are at friendship level 7, you can kindly accept my gift!”

I wanted to slap the man.

He was adorable.

So I wanted to slap him even more.

“It’s really too much Jaebum. I could pay for my year’s rent with this! What would my landlord think if he sees me wearing this? He will think I’m lying when I tell him that my rent will be late cause I don’t have money!”

Jaebum rolls back and forth on the balls of his feet in thought, “Hmm…move into a better neighbourhood?”

I stare at him as if he was the biggest idiot on earth and he chuckles.

“Who cares what people think?”

“I think I’m scared to get robbed, Jaebum.”

“What happened to Jaebummie?” he pouts playfully causing me to roll my eyes and slightly, not so slightly, cringe.

“He’s dead.”

“I think it’s endearing and cute,” Jaebum says tilting his head side to side.

I want to slap him.

So I did.

“You are so annoying…Jaebummie”

He gingerly rubs the spot on his chest where I assaulted him, “Ahh you are so cute.”

How can a person you met only yesterday be so dotting?

“Aish…you are too much,” I awkwardly pick at the black button on my new wool coat, “Okay, good night, thank you for the gift Jaebummie, and I hope this is the last time I see you.”

He hums with a gentle smile upon his lips, “Ah, ah, ah, I want something in return.”

Great, of course nothing is free in this world. “And what does his majesty want?”

Jaebum chuckles and pushes himself off the side of his car to open the door.

“Wha…” I watch him get into the low sitting vehicle and I groan.

Instead of getting into his passenger seat like he probably expected, I whip open the door to the driver’s side to peer in to see what was his deal.

He innocently looks up with his perfectly sculpted eyebrows raised, “Oh you want to drive?”

I couldn’t help the laugh that mixed in with the scoff, causing the corners of his lips to tug upwards. I shake my head and proceeded to be angry, “No! Where are we going? Are you driving me back home so that we can smash? I’m not a prostitute you know. I can’t be bought!”

Jaebum’s smile never wavered, he reaches a hand out to ruffle my hair, “I just want to get a coffee with you, silly.”

Oh.

I blush, clearing my throat aggressively, “Oh…well…it’s 2 AM!”

He rolls his eyes, “Yah, just get in the car. I won’t do anything weird I promise.”

“You won’t just drop me in the middle of Hicksville?”

“Why would I do such a thing after putting in effort to make sure you stay healthy and warm? Don’t be stupid. Get in, it’s cold outside and you are letting out all the heat escape.”

He had a point.

I nod reluctantly walking over to the other side of the car to slip inside.

The leather was heated and warm, making the long ride extremely comforting especially with the new leather smell that enveloped the air.

I was determined to not fall asleep in this stranger’s car.

I watched as the tenth run down 24 hour coffee shop flew by, seriously where is the man taking me.

“Should I be concerned now?” I casually ask looking over to him.

He scoffs with a cocky smirk, “When will you trust me? I mean we are already at friendship level 7.”

“Hm I don’t know maybe when the bruise on my forehead disappears after you smashed my head into a brick wall.”

Jaebum silently continues to drive without a remark.

He then suddenly pulls the car over and I felt mixed emotions bubble in my stomach. I know I was giving him a hard time but did I cross it this time? He was nothing but nice since after the unpleasant first encounter we had and I was nothing but an asshole.

I sigh, turning to face him to only see that he was intently observing me as well.

“I was just kidding…I didn’t mean it,” I say with a reassuring smile but he didn’t buy it.

Jaebum reaches out and gently brushes my fringe away from my forehead to reveal a dark purple blotch. With the pad of his thumb he gingerly caresses the supple skin on the rather large bump.

“Look, it’s not as bad as it looks. It doesn’t even hurt,” I say pulling away from his heated touch, “Let’s just go get your coffee so that I can go home and sleep.”

Jaebum pulls back into his seat and sighs, looking out the tinted window on his side.

“I’m sorry, regardless if it hurts or not.”

“It’s fine. Did you end up finding the real girl you were after?”

I watch his reflection blink in surprise at the topic change, he turns around to face me and he grins, “Yeah, I got a text from a friend saying that the situation is resolved a few minutes ago.”

“Oh? Why didn’t you go handle it Jaebummie? You lost your confidence after yesterday?” I tease with a laugh and he rolls his eyes.

The silence that followed was comfortable, the air was thinning out, I wasn’t as hostile towards him and he knew it.

“I wanted to make sure you got home safely,” he confesses with a sigh.

He bites his plump lower lip and nervously runs his hand through his gelled back locks, “Also I didn’t want you to catch cold. Without a jacket and all.”

I nonchalantly nod turning to look outside the window at the dark horizon and bashfully smiled.

“Thank you…” I turn around to smile at him and he reciprocates causing the butterflies in my stomach to go wild.

I clear my throat, “Well, keep driving. The faster we are done the faster I get home!” I nervously stutter turning towards the window again.

“Is it really that bad to spend some time with me?” he curiously inquires.

Was it really that bad to spend time with Jaebum? I surprisingly didn’t have much of a problem with him considering the circumstances regarding how we met. However, I still find myself trying my best to give him a hard time. I guess it was my stubbornness that couldn’t accept how easily he got under my skin. No matter how much I wanted to stay mad at him I simply couldn’t due to how charming and sweet his actions are. Damn him.

I was too busy having an internal war with myself that I didn’t realize I never answered his question. However, I guess he deduced that I was rather not fond with him and he let that be considering that he didn’t press on. Jaebum was rather patient tonight I assume, most likely that the woman who was costing his gang a significant loss was finally caught and most likely taken out of the picture for good a few hours ago. I haven’t known the handsome man for long but it was easy to tell that he had an extremely short fuse and he was being quite pleasant for the past half hour since he swooped me off the grungy pub entrance, especially when I was nothing but the opposite of pleasant towards him.

The car ride to wherever Jaebum had planned to go was short lived, mostly due the frightening speeds the man drove at. The entire duration of the ride lasted about 20 minutes and we pulled up in a nice neighbourhood in front of a small single detached café. I peer through the generously sized windows to see an elegantly decorated interior, I got rather excited until my eyes landed on the wooden plaque with cursive that read “closed”. Of course such a place would definitely not be open for business during this ungodly hour at 2:30 AM.

“Why are we here Jaebum? It’s closed…” I pout squinting towards the open hours chart, “…4 hours ago.”

He softly smiles placing a hand on the small of my back. The tall male guides me towards the spotless glass door and pulls the handle, and much to my surprise the door opens to the warm and sweet aroma filled space.

“I got the place rented out for the night,” he explains indifferently, pulling out my chair. And people thought that chivalry was dead.

I sit down and watch Jaebum curiously as he takes a seat adjacent from mine. He pushes his hair back before lazily propping his elbow on the table to hold up the menu. I clear my throat before doing the same. How does one be so casual yet extremely alluring? It was also amusing that such a person like Jaebum would be caught seen in this scenery, it was quite refreshing. His masculine features and his for the lack of a better word, fuck boy clothes, were at a harsh contrast with the muted pastels that painted the walls and the dainty floral teacups that sat on equally dainty plates on lacy doilies on an extremely Instagram-able ivory marble table. I smile behind the menu as I intently continue to watch his rather bored expression as he continues reading the menu.

It was all fun and games until I took a good look at the menu and my stomach dropped through the floor and all the way to the deeps of hell. These prices are ridiculous! Probably because they need the income to pay for the excessive fancy décor that littered the place. An old regular cup of coffee costs $5 and any specialty drinks started at $9. Not to mention the selection of desserts where the cheapest one started at the very reasonable price of $15. I barely had time to decide on what to order as a petite female makes her way to our table to take our orders. She smiles warmly but I could see how her eyes tiredly twitched.

“What can I get you today?” she sweetly asks with a smile.

I nervously hand her the menu with a bashful smile, “Just a cup of water will be okay thank you.”

I mean, water is free here right? Then again I wouldn’t be surprised if they charged me $10 for a cup of tap water. In my quake of nervousness he flashes me a quick glance before looking up at the waitress.

“Just get her a caramel macchiato or something, I’ll take a black coffee.”

I gape at Jaebum, why was the man ordering for me? I don’t have money to drop on such extravagant liquids. I silently watch him as he continues to order and I was about to drop dead when he said what every rich man says in those cliché films, “And the entire dessert selection you have at the moment will be fine.”

After ordering he gives me a soft smile before turning towards his phone that vibrated against the marble table that I would be able to cover the cost for tonight with the enormous bill that was coming my way. “Sorry, I need to take this,” he smiles apologetically getting up to take a step outside. I nod politely and as soon as the door closed behind him I rummaged through my purse for my wallet. Please have money, please have money, I pray squeezing my eyes shut. After channeling my magic into my pathetic wallet I opened it to see a wrinkly ten dollar bill. I wheezed – causing the waitress to pop her head up from behind the barista counter. I flash her a pained grin before casting my gaze down to the sorry sight. I surely had more than 10 dollars! I fumbled with the zipper on the coin department and aggressively poured all the change I had on the table. I was halfway counting the nickels I owned when I was interrupted by the screeching of a chair against the hard wood floor. I looked up to see Jaebum curiously watching the pathetic scene before him. He chuckles reaching a hand out to pat my head gently.

“Don’t worry about the bill, silly.”

“But…but you said I owe you a coffee,” I pout allowing him to ruffle my hair.

“I said, I want to get a coffee with you not buy me a coffee. Besides, usually when someone asks you out on a coffee date they don’t want you to pay for their drink. They usually want your time, no?”

He had a very valid point. But that still made me feel awful for not being able to repay him in anyway for his generous gifts. I nod in defeat, scooping up the change that would make even a homeless person laugh. The waitress made her way over to our table with our overpriced beverages which I timidly took a sip from.

“You really have nothing more than that crumpled up ten dollar bill?” he teasingly asks while taking a sip of his black coffee. Even though it was true that my state was very pathetic I hated when people pointed it out, especially filthy rich people like him.

“Jaebum you are a horrible person,” I mumble under my breath just loud enough for him to hear.

“I guess since you really don’t want me here I’ll just leave~” he chimes getting up from his seat.

“Ah! No wait!” I splutter putting down my cup to frantically reach out to hold his hand.

He smiles smugly lacing his long slender fingers with mine giving me a gentle squeeze. I blush pulling my hand away to give my ceramic cup the death grip.

“I-It’s not like I want you here or anything, I just can’t pay for the bill, okay?” I wasn’t completely lying but I also didn’t necessary not want him here either. The grin plastered on his face showed that he knew as well.

“How are you so broke anyways?” He asks taking another sip from his cup.

“Well I’m a student what else is there than that? And you should’ve known that since you stalk-” I couldn’t finish my sentence as I feasted my eyes on the waitress that was barely seen behind the huge silver tier that was loaded to the brim with cakes and various sweets that she was struggling to carry. She plopped it onto the table with a heavy thud and a cheery “Enjoy!”

I couldn’t even see Jaebum now. I peer around the tier and mouthed a “holy shit” causing him to throw his head back in laughter. The selection was amazing, I didn’t even know they had this stuff as I was too busy staring at the prices earlier. There were macarons of every colour, multiple kinds of mille crepes, cream puffs, every cake flavour imaginable, mousse cups, and an assortment of cookies. I peer over at Jaebum again and he tilts his head gesturing to the sweets, “Well go on.”

Without another moment to waste I reach out for a macaron and popped it into my mouth, and I almost cried at how delicious that tiny thing was. I barely finished swallowing the sweet before I got my hands on a matcha flavoured mille crepe. As I was about to stick my fork into the delicately layered cake I look up to Jaebum to see that he haven’t even moved an inch to help himself.

“Jaebummie? Why aren’t you eating?” I ask shoving a piece of fluffy crepe into my mouth.

“Ah I’m not really into sweets,” he admits sipping at his bitter coffee again, “But go ahead and enjoy yourself.”

“Then why the hell did you order all this?!?” I exclaim causing him to chuckle in which he quickly reasons by saying, “Well I didn’t know what you like.”

I shake my head with flustered cheeks scooting my chair closer to his. Shovelling a piece of cake onto the fork I raise it up to Jaebum’s lips in which he stubbornly does not open. I sigh reaching out to squeeze his cheeks forcing his lips to part in a kissy face fashion.

“Say ahhh Jaebummie!” I tease causing him to roll his eyes but nonetheless part his lips allowing the sweet fluffy treat to slip in.

I watch intently for his reaction and it definitely did not fall short. His usual steely gaze softened and became practically blissful as the corners of his lips curled up. We both tried to hide things between one another but similar to how he could easily read through me I could do the same for him. He was definitely lying when he said that he didn’t like sweets.

“Now that wasn’t so bad right?” I giggle resuming to finish off the slice so that I could pick out a next delicious piece, “You know there’s nothing wrong with being a scary big bad guy who enjoys cute dainty desserts served on doilies.”

“I don’t know, it sounds like you are already judging,” he sighs in defeat but not failing to reach out for a cookie.

“I’m not judging,” I admit giving him a reassuring smile, “I think it’s cute. Scary monster by day and cookie monster by night.”

If I had a dollar for every time I make Jaebum roll his eyes I would be rich. He was cute being all pissed off in his all black attire while stuffing his face with desserts. I only wished it wouldn’t be considered creepy if I could just take out my phone right now to snap a picture of him so that I could essentially stare at it forever, or use it as blackmail if it was ever necessary.

By the time of 4:00 AM we were halfway through the desserts and were too stuffed to eat anymore. Despite being reluctant to come I had a wonderful time with Jaebum. No matter how much I rather not admit it, he was good company. I yawn placing down my fork. Thankfully Jaebum noticed my drowsiness most likely itis induced if it weren’t caused by the ungodly hour that was 4:00 AM. He kindly got the cheque and placed down four crisp $100 bills causing an unexpected wheeze to escape my lungs.

“Oh my god Jaebum…”

“Don’t worry let’s go,” his eyes turn into little crescents as he passes me a large take away box that held all the desserts that we couldn’t finish. He was letting me keep the leftovers too? This was the best date ever! I hug the box tightly to my chest as I thank the waitress who worked way over time, before contently skipping back to Jaebum’s car. The car ride back to my apartment was quiet, mostly because I was falling asleep, not because I was personally trying to give him a hard time. I lethargically watch as the scenery changed from high-end boutiques and cafes to dingy pizzeria joints and pubs, signalling that I was getting closer to home. Jaebum pulls up to my apartment and being the gentleman he was, he parked his car and walked me up to my room where we both find ourselves in the same awkward situation similar to yesterday.

“I’m sorry…” I sigh picking at the Bristol board edges of the take away box.

“For what?” Jaebum asks genuinely confused as to why I would be apologizing.

“For giving you nothing but a hard time,” I confess shifting my weight on one foot to the other.

Jaebum scoffs with a smile that reaches his chocolate brown eyes. He reaches a hand out and gently ruffles my hair affectionately. I pout at him ruining my hair yet again.

“Good night (Y/N).”

“It’s technically morning,” I explain matter-of-factly resulting in him to do his signature eye roll.

The tall and undeniably handsome man waved his hand in dismissal, taking a few steps backwards before turning around to make his own way home. However, before he could get very far, I quickly call out his name successfully stopping him in his tracks. He tilts his head so that I had the perfect view of his profile where the two cute tiny moles on his eyes were on full display.

“Thank you Jaebummie!”

“I’ll see you around,” he smirks rather smugly.

And surprisingly I found myself anticipating for our next encounter, unlike yesterday where I wanted nothing more to do with him. I wait until he disappears behind the corner before I slip into the apartment. Only then did I allow the high-pitched schoolgirl squeal leave my lips.

2:04 AM

I lock up the door like routine, the only difference was that I was ten times more tired than usual. Yesterday’s late night outing left me drained considering that I had less than 4 hours of sleep before I had to go attend my early morning class. After checking the lock twice, I turn around to see nothing out of the usual. I guess Jaebum wasn’t going to come anymore after ‘making it up’ to me for jumping me the other night. I sigh heavily full of disappointment as I drag my feet down the littered street back home. My blood ran cold as a black Ferrari pulls up right beside me on the curb. I literally haven’t walked ten steps from the pub and I was already approached. However, to my pleasant surprise the tinted window rolled down to only reveal Jaebum.

“Sorry I’m late, I got caught up with something,” he explains flashing me his precious crescent eyed smile.

I purse my lips nodding slowly, “I thought you weren’t coming…”

“Don’t be silly, get in the car it’s cold out.”

I slip into the passenger seat and similar to his other car, the confined compartment smelled of new leather.

“Where are we going today?” I yawn looking out the window.

“Home, sorry I didn’t have anything planned tonight. I need to go deal with something after,” he sighs obviously not looking forward to whatever he had to do.

I gasp, “Don’t tell me…” I lower my voice to a mere whisper, “Are you going to assassinate someone?”

Jaebum snorts at my wild accusation, “I’m not some assassin. To be honest I wouldn’t even consider us as a gang.”

I look up to him curiously, have a gotten it wrong? Was he actually not apart of the underground society?

“We’re more similar to the mafia,” he casually explains with a shrug.

I choke on my spit a bit before I could get a word out, “How is that any different?!” I finally exclaim.

Jaebum grins with another shrug, “It’s more classy!”

I mumble under my breath. Man was definitely crazy. Thank god he seemed to have liked me enough, or else with the amount of attitude I have given him in the span of two days would’ve ended my life and probably my next of kin as well.

“Well since you have much more important matters at hand I can walk home tonight! Thanks for the ride!” I hastily exclaim looking for the handle of the car door. Jaebum chuckles reaching over to place a hand on my smaller clammy one that gripped on the handle. He pulls my hand to gently place it back on my lap. Jaebum caresses my knuckles with the pad of his thumb before shyly retracting his hand to grip the steering wheel when he realized what he was doing. Shortly he pulls up to my apartment where he parks and walks me up to my room.

I look up at him shyly, “You know…you don’t have to come pick me up. I don’t want to be a nuisance to you.”

“I’ll always come escort you home, unless you find a better job with a better schedule and in a better area. But I’m going to be honest with you, even then I would come pick you up.”

At his little confession I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter. How does one say something so easily to someone they practically just met? I timidly grin nodding at his sweet words, “That makes me happy,” I confess myself.

The corner of his lips twitches upwards at my unexpected confession. It seemed like there was something else he wanted to say but the vibrating in his pocket made him dismiss whatever he had on mind. He pulled his phone from his pocket and illuminated the screen, and whatever that was on the screen caused him to pull his bottom lip between his lips in agitation. “Well I need to get going now, you should go get some rest (Y/N).”

Without waiting for my reply he quickly turns around in a hurry. My heart hammers against my chest as I was at war with myself, my brain said no but my body reacted by itself and lunged forward. I grab onto his bulging bicep, “Wait!”

He stops abruptly to look down at me. I look up at him with flush cheeks, “I…” I stutter letting go of his arm, “Please stay safe…” I mumble looking deeply into his chocolate brown orbs. Instead of replying, he pulls me into a strong embrace engulfing me in his warmth and comforting musk scent. I wrap my arms around his back and buried my face into the crook of his neck as his face became flush against my scarf.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

1:55 AM

Throughout the entire day I worried about Jaebum seeing that I had no other way to check if he was alright until I finish work and hopefully see him at the front. I peep out the little window I just cleaned and there wasn’t a vehicle in sight. Deciding that he was probably caught up in something again I slip on my new winter coat bracing myself for the cold winter night waiting for me on the other side.

The headlights from a car outside seeped into the pub illuminating a bright strip across the bar. I excitedly run up to the window to peer outside but it was too dark to make out anything. Abruptly the front door flies open causing me to jump with a shrilling scream. I timidly peer at the two intruders from behind a booth that I hid in. They both were tall in stature with bleached blonde hair and wore all black, one in a long frock coat while the other dressed more casually in a bomber jacket.

“Sorry we’re closed!” I call out from behind the safety of my cushiony backseat.

The one with the bomber jacket follows my voice and cocks an eyebrow when he finally sees me pathetically hiding behind the booth. He suddenly giggles like a little girl completely washing away the scary aura that earlier radiated from him.

“Awww baby! You are cute! Mark she is actually cute!” he exclaims wildly gesturing for the quieter one, Mark to come closer.

Mark pinches the arch of his slim nose in annoyance, “JB won’t be happy if he hears that you are making her uncomfortable,” he takes a few steps closer approaching me with a soft smile, “Just ignore Jackson. JB sent us to pick escort you home today.”

I nod slowly, suddenly at ease when I realized that the two were sent by Jaebum, but that just set another wave of nerves to hit my gut. After a moment I was finally able to form words, “I-Is…Jaebummie okay?”

The one who was called Jackson scrunched up his face and clutched his heart, “The one who you call lovingly, Jaebummie, is dead!” he screams. My mouth drops open along with my stomach and I look towards Mark, who seems a little more reliable than drama queen Jackson. Mark rolls his eyes, “JB isn’t dead, but Jackson will be if he finds out that he called him Jaebummie.”

I sigh out in relief, I can’t believe I am so gullible specially when Jackson was so obviously poking fun, “Mark? Is he okay?”

“JB? Yeah he’s fine,” the handsome blonde smiles warmly, “He just has something to deal with is all.”

I nod with a small smile of my own, “Ahh thank god…” I mumble with a relived sigh.

Jackson suddenly beams and runs towards the stools in front of the bar. I raise my brow at his unusual antics as I watch him do a 360 spin in his seat, “Since we are at a bar, let’s have some drinks!”

“Jackson, we are supposed to deliver her home immediately,” Mark groans but didn’t put up a fight, apparently this happens often seeing how fast he compliantly plops in the seat beside the over hyper male.

I quickly got up from the booth and made my way around the bar, “Well what can I get you?” I grin.

When Jaebum proclaimed that his group was more mafia than gang because they were classy, he wasn’t kidding. Jackson ordered, and I quote, “the most expensive whiskey on the rocks you can make at this ghetto ass bar”, while Mark went with a simple gin and tonic cocktail. I awkwardly shift my weight from foot to foot waiting for them to take their first sip. And much to my delight the drinks were satisfactory enough for their delicate taste buds.

“It tastes like ass but I know it’s made with love so I’ll finish it,” Jackson, the one I deem the funny one, comments causing me to giggle.

“I know this is a sensitive topic but…what do you guys do?” I nervously ask tapping away at the wood countertop.

Jackson looks towards Mark who shrugs, “We don’t really do much to be honest. Things have been running smoothly only until recently.”

I nod even though I had no idea what he was spouting about. Regardless Mark continued his explanation.

“We run about half of Gangnam at the moment, the usual: drug trafficking, prostitution, smuggling, and the occasional weapons dealing,” Mark explains nonchalantly as I nervously nod along as if these things didn’t shock me.

“S-So…are you the mafia boss?”

At my confrontation Jackson bursts out in laughter slamming his hand on the grubby counter. Mark gives me a polite smile and shakes his head, “No, that’s JB.”

I choke on my spit at the new shocking discovery, not only was Jaebum apart of some mafia organization he was the leader of it all? How can such a sweet guy be involved in such heinous crimes? Considering if we dismiss how we got off at the wrong foot, he has been nothing but kind and doting.

“J-Jaebummie?” I whisper and Mark reaffirms with a nod. “But he’s so sweet and caring and not scary at all!”

At that, Jackson snorts, “Maybe to you. But from what we hear from him he cares a lot about you so it would only make sense if he treats you well.”

Blood rushes to my cheeks and I gingerly scratch my cheek, “He cares about me? But why?”

The blonde duo shrug simultaneously, “That’s something only he can tell you.”

Despite the two consuming alcohol, the drive back home was quite smooth. Mark waited in the car while Jackson walked me up to my room despite assuring him that the long two minute trek would be safe enough for me to handle. He waits in the hall until I got my door unlocked, “Okay Jackson! I think I’ll be fine from here on out.” I giggle causing him to smile as well.

“Well I hope so, or else JB will have my head.”

“Speaking of your scary boss, is it okay if I ask for his number?” I ask rocking on the balls of my feet.

The muscular blonde laughs throwing his head back, “It’s only been a day and you already miss him that much? Are you two in love~” he teases puckering up his lips causing me to cringe comically.

“No! It’s not like that! I just want to tell him how horrible of a job you done!” I tease holding out my phone for him. Jackson rolls his eyes but takes the device anyways.

He hands back my phone and the screen illuminated a new contact saved under J ♥, I shyly smile up at Jackson, “Thanks.”

“No problem!”

“Really! Thanks for this and for the ride home. Please tell Mark I say thanks as well!”

“No wonder JB takes a liking to you. So precious, too precious for this cruel world!” Jackson cries in agony causing a snort to leave my nose, “Aishh just get home safely you drama queen.”

I close the door after waving goodbye to Jackson, the hyper human puppy, who also doubled as a scary mafia member but I’ll over look that for now. I look at the clock in my living room and it read 3:46 AM. Was it too late to message Jaebum now? Or should I message him at a more reasonable time? I was at war with myself until I settled on the latter, the last thing I want to do is be a bother to him especially after Mark told me that it’s been rough the past few couple of days for him.

I hop into the shower for a quick rinse before happily flopping onto my bed. I curl up in my thick layer of blankets with my phone still in hand. I turn on the screen to see J ♥ again and I just couldn’t help myself, so I messaged him dismissing my entire conflict about messaging him earlier.

4:02 AM

[Y/N]: Jaebummie! Guess who? J

My heart hammers against my ribs and my hands get clammy against my phone. As instant as I sent the message I felt regret, was my text too flirtatious? Why couldn’t I be normal for once and went with a simple, ‘Hi this is [Y/N]. Sup?’ I groan tossing and turning in my burrito blanket as I waited for the reply that I most likely wont receive. The internal conflict was so strong I almost didn’t feel the vibration of my phone against my palm. I throw off the blanket and unlocked my phone.

4:05 AM

J ♥: Hey jagiya. (:

My heart hammers against my ribs again but for a completely different reason. With shaky hands I frantically type up a reply.

4:06 AM

[Y/N]: Is everything okay?

4:07 AM

J ♥: Yeah.

I rack my brain for ways that I could keep the seemingly dying conversation going. But before I finish typing, another message popped up from Jaebum.

4:07 AM

J ♥: I just miss yOUuouUOUOUOuouououuuu ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

And at that moment I knew I wasn’t talking to Jaebum.

4:08 AM

[Y/N]: Jackson I’m going to kill you!!! ㅠㅠ

J ♥: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

J ♥: I’m sorry don’t tell JB :’( I’m too young to die

J ♥: +82-02-869-5213

[Y/N]: Is that Mark’s number?

J ♥: I swear, it’s JB’s!

I groan rolling over onto my stomach, so the J stood for Jackson not Jaebum, that little piece of shit. I stare at the new number which supposedly is Jaebum’s but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened to be Jackson’s fifth phone. I guess there was only one way to find out.

4:14 AM

[Y/N]: Hi is this Jaebum?

4:25 AM

Jaebum^^: Who’s asking?

[Y/N]: (Y/N) :)

Jaebum^^: (Y/N)? How did you get my number?

[Y/N]: Jackson

[Y/N]: I hope you don’t mind though!

Jaebum^^: Of course I don’t.

[Y/N]: Is this a bad time? I heard from Mark that you are busy.

[Y/N]: Sorry I shouldn’t have messaged.

Jaebum^^: Are you stupid? I’m glad you messaged. Jackson didn’t give you a hard time did he?

I squint at the glowering bright screen for a moment deciding if I wanted Jackson dead.

[Y/N]: No Jackson was nice :) so was Mark. Is everything okay Jaebum?

[Y/N]: Like yesterday…and tonight. Nothing bad happened right?

Jaebum^^: Nothing that you should be worried about.

The conversation was dying and I had no idea how to save it. It could just be how Jaebum texts but he didn’t sound like he wanted to talk to me, which was reasonable considering that I’m messaging him in the early morning of 4 AM.

[Y/N]: You aren’t hurt right?

Jaebum^^: I’m okay (Y/N). You should go sleep it’s late.

[Y/N]: Okay.

Jaebum^^: I’ll talk to you later okay?

[Y/N]: Okay.

Jaebum^^: Are you upset with me?

[Y/N]: Why would I be?

Jaebum^^: Silly, don’t feel like I don’t want to talk to you. I’m just a little tired. I’ll pick you up tomorrow since you don’t have class and we can spend the entire day together if that’s what you want.

[Y/N]: Is that what you want?

Jaebum^^: Of course.

[Y/N]: Okay :)

Jaebum^^: Now that’s my girl, I’ll see you soon. Good night.

I lock my phone and place it on my nightstand, I was a little hurt at how cold and distant he seemed but his last message got my heart beating miles per minute. Then again, I was extremely clingy to him when we are barely considered to be friends. Or maybe he was with his girlfriend or something…after all I don’t know Jaebum. I groan rolling restlessly around my small twin sized mattress that sat on the floor. I knew I shouldn’t have texted him, now I won’t have a peaceful night’s rest as I would be running scenarios of where I went wrong in my head all night long.

Regardless of how certain I was that the night was going to be rough I ended up sleeping like a baby until early noon. And that was only because I was awoken by the endless vibration of my phone chattering against the bedside table. Groaning I roll over to reach out for the annoying piece of plastic, upon unlocking the device I was surprised with seven new text messages.

10:04 AM

Jaebum^^: Good morning [Y/N]! Are you awake yet?

10:47 AM

Jaebum^^: Yahhh sleepy headddd

10:56 AM

Jaebum^^: Stop ignoring me :(

11:08 AM

Jaebum^^: You’re probably still sleeping like a babyyy!

11:10 AM

Jaebum^^: Jagiii

Jaebum^^: Oh fuck

Jaebum^^: I didn’t mean to send that

I giggle at his least few text messages.

[Y/N]: Jaebummie?

Jaebum^^: Let’s go out to eat. I’m hungry.

[Y/N]: Ehhh I’m too tired I don’t want to.

Jaebum^^: I thought so, open the door :)

[Y/N]: WHAT

Jaebum^^: I’m outside.

[Y/N]: Hence the WHAT

[Y/N]: I’m still in bed!

Jaebum^^: Food is getting cold

[Y/N]: But I’m a mess!!! Give me a few minutes!

Jaebum^^: When are you never a mess though? Just open the door, idiot.

[Y/N]: ㅠㅠ

Jaebum^^: I’m just teasing. You are always cute.

Jaebum^^: Five minutes, you better open the door or else I’m going to break it. To be very honest it looks flimsy. You should really replace it.

I quickly jump out of bed and ran towards the bathroom to do my usual morning routine but ten times more quickly. Jaebum being Jaebum would probably break down my door just for the shits and giggles so I was not taking any chances. I cared about my face and the bareness of it but I cared more for the door that I couldn’t afford to replace so I opted out for makeup this morning and decided to just open the door for the impatient man. I threw the door open to see a finely dressed Jaebum with his usual leather jacket, and that was when I realized I forgot to change out of my pajamas.

“Nice Ryan Bear pjs,” Jaebum snorts, walking into the small apartment.

I stutter with flushed cheeks, “In my defense they are a matching set with my brother and he got them for me!”

“I think they’re cute,” Jaebum smirks placing down the two stuffed plastic bags on the kitchen counter.

“Make yourself at home. I’m gonna change,” I groan rolling my eyes causing Jaebum to laugh.

“There’s no need for you to change. You look so adorable and comfortable. Let’s just eat okay?” he suggests walking towards me where I continued to stay planted by the front door.

I give in and nod as he genuinely thought that the pajamas were cute instead of simply teasing me. He contently claps his hands together with his crescent eyed smile before he shrugs out of his leather jacket leaving him in his fitted white t-shirt and dark washed blue jeans. Jaebum casually walks back into the kitchen where I couldn’t help but give him a good once over as he passes by, not only because he looked unreal but also I was still concerned that he may be injured from his previous night activities. When there were no evident signs of injuries I couldn’t hold myself back as I gently pull him into a back hug.

“I’m glad you are safe,” I smile against his shoulder blades, pulling away as quickly as I embraced him allowing no awkward time to linger or time for him to shrug me off if he decided that he didn’t want a hug.

Jaebum blinks in confusion as he halts in his actions in opening his styrofoam takeout box. He tilts his head innocently which causes me to smile up at him, “Let’s eat!” I suggest grabbing the unopened bag. I untie the knot of the plastic bag to pull out two takeout boxes. The first one held strawberries, bananas, and a ramekin of syrup. I look up at Jaebum who gestures his head towards the second container. I easily pop open the top of the second box to reveal a stack of fluffy warm chocolate chip pancakes. I outwardly gasp and Jaebum was more than content with my reaction as he stretches a hand out to ruffle my already messy bedhead, “Eat up.”

After finishing our delicious warm pancakes we flopped onto the couch to watch some Sunday cartoons. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my full stomach or if the cartoons weren’t as interesting as usual I started to feel sleepy again. I start to nod off and once my head found the perfect spot against Jaebum’s shoulder I immediately fell asleep.

Similar to how I woke up that morning, I was also awoken by the obnoxious ringing of a phone. But thankfully someone picked up, putting an end to the violent vibrating of the device against the coffee table. Still hazy from the nap I didn’t realize that I was subconsciously hugging something warm until that something started to speak sending vibrations into my body.

“What is it? You better have a good reason to be contacting me when I told everyone not to,” the voice practically growls into the phone.

With a yawn I look up with heavy eyes to see the sharp jawline of the handsome Jaebum. I groan squeezing his waist, “Jaebummie…”

Jaebum quickly changed his tone to a much sweeter one as he looked down at me, “Shhh just one second,” he smiles softly before assaulting the person on the line again.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He jolts up, “Okay, I’ll be over immediately.”

Jaebum groans throwing his head back against the couch, I smile taking his hand into mine and giving him a light squeeze, “Is everything alright?” His eyes met mine and instantly they softened exponentially.

“Yeah, I just need to go sort something out,” he sighs still unwilling to move from his comfortable position on the couch.

“It’s okay, I need to go to work soon anyways.”

Jaebum nods, “I’ll drop you off then.”

I nod slowly copying his actions, “I don’t want to seem nosy but…is the thing you are going to sort out dangerous?”

He chuckles sitting up on the couch, “If you keep worrying about what I do you will never be happy,” he explains combing his fingers through my hair to secure it behind my ear, “I’ll be just fine. Worry about your own health first, those hours you work will take a toll on you and I don’t want that.”

I look down in my lap trying my very best to avoid eye contact with his warm chocolate ones, “Is it strange that I worry about you? Even though we haven’t known each other for more than a few days?” I shyly ask.

Jaebum’s index and middle finger tips my chin up so that I looked directly into his eyes, “No, that just proves that you have a good heart,” he lets out a breathy laugh, “What’s strange is that someone like me who does nothing but harm people for a living is constantly worried sick about some cute dumb little girl.”

I frown, “I’m dumb?”

He chuckles, “I’m just teasing. Let’s get you to work okay?”

-

Jaebum pulls up to my most dreaded place on earth, the crummy pub that I spent most of my days in. He shifts the gear into park but I was reluctant to get out. I look at the pub, my hands, back at the pub and finally at Jaebum.

“You aren’t doing anything dangerous right?” I ask shakily picking at my fingers, “I know what you said about not worrying about you but I just can’t okay? You can’t just feed me warm pancakes and just leave on a suicide mission of some sort and not tell me. So just tell me the truth…please.”

It felt good to finally get it off my chest but now I sat there with clammy hands and armpits waiting for his reply. The corner of his lips pulls upwards, “It makes me happy that you care so much about me but I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“Jaebum…please tell me what’s going on,” I whisper, eyes brimming with hot tears from frustration.

“Shhh,” he smiles leaning forward to squish my cheeks, “Okay, I’ll tell you everything okay just don’t cry.”

I sniffle nodding my head between his calloused hands, “Okay Jaebummie.”

“That’s my girl…” he grins with crescent eyes, “The meeting with a rival gang got pushed to tonight because one of their members jumped one of my guys. We are just going to talk it out.”

“Talk it out?” I sob, hot tears streaming down my face, “Gangsters don’t talk it out! You guys are going to beat each other up in a pulp until one of you stops breathing! Do you think I’m stupid!?”

The next thing that happened was unexpected to say in the least. With my face still between his hands, Jaebum leans forward closing the little space we had between us. His eyes flutter to my parted lips before looking back up into my eyes. I close my eyes giving him the permission he was waiting for and without a moment to spare he presses his soft plump lips against mine. The fire in my stomach spiralled out of control, I didn’t even kiss him back before he quickly pulled away.

“I’ll see you later,” he smirks.

“Wait…I didn’t even…” I bashfully mutter with flushed cheeks, “…kiss you back…”

“Tonight, that’ll give you something to look forward to.”

“No Jaebum, I want you – it now,” I stumble over my words nervously.

Jaebum smiles rolling his eyes, “You know I can’t say no to you.”

“Good,” I breathe placing both hands on his cheeks and bringing him back towards me.

I press my lips against his and he eagerly moulds his lips against mine. I couldn’t help the temptation to nip at his bottom lip, so I did and much to my pleasant surprise he parts his mouth for me. Gently massaging his tongue with mine a soft groan rumbles through his chest as the usually dominant male became putty in my hands. I pull away first and Jaebum chases my lips, before the string of saliva could break, his lips were against mine again. I moan as his tongue darts back into my warm cavern. My hands slide from his cheeks to tangle themselves into his raven locks while Jaebum’s slid down my back to give my arse a firm squeeze. I groan tugging his hair back causing his head to roll back as well, “Jaebum…” I pant, “I’ll see you later.”

“Stay safe,” he sighs pushing his dishevelled hair back.

“I should be saying that to you, idiot. Stay safe Jaebummie.”

12:24 AM

I yawn wiping at the wet residue rings left on the counter from asshole customers who refuse to use coasters. Only one more hour and I can close shop I mentally groan throwing the towel into the sink. And only one hour and a half more until I see Jaebum again.

I sigh thinking back to what happened a few hours ago and I smile bashfully touching my lips still feeling his plump ones against them. I really wonder where our relationship stood, but regardless where we are I know it was mutual. Just as blissful thoughts fill my head I was quickly snapped out of it when my co-worker groans loudly slamming the cup she held in her hand against the counter causing me to jump.

“Great, we won’t be leaving early. Looks like a table of 7 just walked in,” she complains standing up on her tippy toes to get a better view of the group, “Well at least they are cute…maybe one of them will take me home,” she winks quickly scurrying off to snatch a man or two.

“I…I guess I’ll just be here…” I sigh in defeat as I look around the bar to only see old geezers as my co-worker ran to seat the apparently bunch of cuties at a booth in her section.

I didn’t have much time to mope seeing that I was being called “Hey girly!” left and right to top off drinks. I really need to find a less demeaning job, I thought to myself for the umpteen time tonight. But sadly I really needed the tips to pay off this month’s rent, “Coming right up, sir!” I chirp with the biggest grin I could muster up.

“And there you are!” I cheer happily placing a pint of beer, must I might add –on a coaster, for the last tipsy man who called me ‘girly’ to get my attention. He throws his head back and chortles grabbing my hand from the glass to give it a big wet slobbery kiss. I mentally scream wanting nothing but to scrub the skin off my hand but for the sake of tips I giggle girlishly, subtly slipping my hand away as he rambles on how he wants to take me home tonight. I suck in a deep breath with clenched fists as I listen to him objectify me. I hated it. This happens every night, maybe that’s why I found a strong admiration to Jaebum, he treated the poor girl working a dead end job like me like a princess and never failed to make me feel special. I sigh thinking about him, I really hope he is safe or at least not dying somewhere in the alley. I quickly excuse myself in a voice that even managed to annoyed myself before scrubbing my hands clean with soap. Finally I gave in to check my phone to see if Jaebum or Jackson left any new messages for me, but alas there was none but a stupid notification from some Facebook game request a person who I haven’t talked to since high school sent me.

“Yah (Y/N)! Get off your phone and go check out those cute guys. They are all so handsome!” My co-worker squeals nodding her head towards the back of the bar, “Just don’t look at the one with his hair pushed back! That one is mine! He’s so fucking hot.”

I shrug rolling my eyes, “I don’t care. You can take whoever you want, I’m trying to make money tonight not get an some STD, okay?”

“Ahh you are no fun! But like...would you mind if I left early?” She smirks wiggling her eyebrows. This wasn’t new. That’s one of the main reasons why I always locked up the pub by myself at 2 AM, she usually ditches the last hour of her shift when she finds a suitable man for the night.

“I don’t mind,” I shrug indifferently.

“Okay good because my man is making his way over right now!” She squeals frantically fixing her hair, “How do I look?”

“Desperate,” I laugh pushing her away.

“Hey girly!” a voice calls out for the fifteenth time in the past half hour and I outwardly groan, “I have a name!” I turn around to see my favourite towering male fixed in a fitted black leather jacket. He smirks, “I know, jagiya.”

I gasp running out from behind the bar to throw my arms around Jaebum’s neck, “Jaebummie!”

He softly chuckles wrapping his strong arms around my waist, picking me up off the ground, “Told you there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” I sigh out in relief rolling my eyes.

“Wait…jagiya? You both are a thing?” my co-worker quirks a brow in disbelief.

My heart hammers against my chest and I didn’t know what to say. So I did what I did best, nervously giggle and look up to Jaebum to speak on my behalf. Who without hesitation nods pulling me into a tight back hug.

That was the first time I saw her get rejected and she didn’t take it very well, instead of just accepting it and moving on she questioned Jaebum, “Then why were you ogling at me earlier?”

I found Jaebum’s expression amusing. He raises a brow before coming into realization and his eyes disappear into little crescents, “Sorry, if I gave you the wrong message. I was actually looking at this little one.”

Apparently Jaebum’s charm worked on everyone regardless if it was rejection or affection because she smiles, “That’s okay. Kinda sucks though cause you are really hot.” Even though I was only aware that Jaebum and I were in a relationship at the same time my co-worker found out, like a minute ago, I was surprised when jealously so quickly flooded in my veins. So I was even more surprised when the next few words escaped from my mouth.

“Please don’t objectify him like that. He’s someone much more than his looks and I really care about him.”

She scoffs, “Chill (Y/N), I’m not some home wrecker. You go do you, yall both cute though. I’m just surprised that someone like him would like someone cute and innocent like you…and to be honest it’s extremely adorable.”

“O-Oh…” I shyly stutter, “Sorry I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Nah don’t worry about it. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go hit on his friends,” she excitedly shimmies away with a bottle of Patron in each hand.

“Aren’t you cute protecting me for a change?” Jaebum chuckles against the shell of my ear causing shivers to run down my spine.

A string of giggles left my lips at the ticklish sensation, “Jaebummie let go! I need to get back to work!”

“Not before getting one kiss you don’t,” he childishly suggests sticking out his cheek. I roll my eyes giving him a quick innocent peck, “There! Now shoo! Go protect your friends!”

“I think it’s you who needs protecting…” Jaebum sighs as he watches the man who earlier gave me a hard time approach us.

“Hey pretty boy,” the man snarls, “That one’s mine. Go find yourself another girl.”

I watch intently as Jaebum’s muscles rippled through his body and I knew I had to stop him before I had to sign papers for witnessing a death at my workplace. I tightly grip Jaebum’s tense shoulder, “It’s okay Jaebum…I really need his tip so please just go.” I don’t know why I even tried knowing fully well that whatever I say would fall upon death ears when all Jaebum could see was red. So I wasn’t at all surprised when the next thing that happened was Jaebum’s fist connecting with the brawny man’s nose. I mean it could’ve been worse, knowing Jaebum he could’ve pulled out a gun and open fired.

The man clutched onto his bleeding nose and tried to make a beeline for the exit without paying for the bill and importantly without giving me my tip. But conveniently Jackson caught the man by his collar, “Ah ah ah, I think you are forgetting something!”

The man throws a few bills at floor and Jackson wasn’t having any of his attitude. I was already grateful that the bill was paid for but Jackson went the extra mile. “Pick that fucking shit up and put it in my hand!” The poor man did what he said. “Now –apologize to the lovely barista.” Which the man also did, “Good boy, and lastly don’t forget that big enormous generous tip!”

I look up at Jaebum who stood there with a content smirk on his face. Was this what the work of a gangster looked like? I was a quite scared but to be very honest I was also a little turned on. Jackson causes me to jump as he appears right before me in my personal space with his wide grin, “Here, this is your hard earned tip!” The terrifying aura left him and he was back to the bubbly puppy I met a day ago. I accept the large bills with shaky hands and I nervously laugh, “Jackson I think you deserve half of this extremely big tip…” I admit looking at the crumpled fifty dollar bills cupped in my hand.

That night I wasn’t surprised to see that all my customers tipped me, and with nothing short of ten dollars. I would like to think that it was because of my amazing service but I was pretty sure Jackson’s earlier display of dominance had a lot to do with it. As the customers started to leave one by one the pub eventually became empty with the exception of Jaebum’s gang. I quickly flipped the lock on the door, finally letting out a content sigh.

“(Y/N), come here,” Jaebum calls and I nervously shuffle my way over to his table. And like my frisky co-worker mentioned earlier there sat seven men who god spent a little more time on.

“O-Oh…hi…nice to meet you I’m (Y/N),” I smile timidly with a deep bow that almost connected my forehead with the sticky laminated table.

Jaebum pats the space beside him and I happily sit down so that I didn’t feel as if I was about to give a presentation in front of the class. I comfortably snuggle close to Jaebum’s side and he began his introductions, “So you’ve already met Jackson and Mark. This is Jinyoung, Youngjae, BamBam, and our youngest member Yugyeom.”

I nod, still not knowing who was who but I was pretty sure I would eventually get close to all of them. It was probably for the best not to mention it but curiosity got the better of me so I asked the most sensitive topic that probably shouldn’t be inquired when you first meet someone. “So…which one of you guys got jumped earlier?”

The entire group of men laughed, some ranging from soft chuckles to Jackson’s hyena cackle, however all but one thought that it wasn’t as funny as the group made it out to be. The youngest, who I think it was Yugyeom, whines childishly, “It’s not that funny!”

Jaebum laughs throwing his head back with such contentment in his face it made butterflies flutter in my belly. “Yugyeom got hit on by some guy on the street and he thought he was from a neighbouring gang. Turns out the guy just really wanted his ass...but for other reasons.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the youngest along with Jaebum’s gang who seemed more like his brothers than anything. “Awww…poor Yugyeom. Are you okay though?” I ask between giggles making the poor boy pout.

“Noona…not you too,” as soon as he said that I felt extremely bad for teasing someone younger than me, “But yeah…I’m fine. He just slapped my ass.”

“So…the whole gang fight thing didn’t go down?”

“Nope, we even went to confront the neighbouring gang and even they laughed at Yugyeom,” BamBam explains while practically wheezing.

That night I finally got to meet the notorious gang who ran half of Gangnam, and apparently they were also known as GOT7. And apparently the seven didn’t represent the seven members they had in the gang, instead it stood for the seven major crimes they committed together. I would usually feel intimidated by this, any one would, however they were surprisingly very pleasant to be around so it felt like I was just spending time with a bunch of close friends. Then again, I never asked for details in what they did or done in the past.

2:34 AM

I yawn.

Time does fly by when you are having fun. I look at the television blaring in the background of the men’s loud chattering. Shit, it’s already past 2 and I haven’t started my cleaning yet. I sigh turning to look up at Jaebum, without a wait his attention is already on me, “What’s wrong?”

“I need to start cleaning now so that I could close before 3. My boss doesn’t pay me over time,” I sigh getting up with a stretch.

Jaebum tilts his head and his friends quickly get up from their seats, putting their five different conversations on pause.

“What can we help with?” Youngjae asks with a bright grin.

I blink allowing his words to sink in, finally when my slow brain did I shake my head profusely with flailing arms, “Ah no! Please sit down and relax it’s my job!”

“I’ll start mopping!”

“I’ll take out the garbage, let’s go Yugyeom.”

“Aish you are so mean Jinyoung hyung!”

The group bickers as they set out to find a task to help me and I felt extremely grateful. A group of handsome badass mafia men helping me clean out a run down pub, you don’t see that happening everyday. First, there aren’t usually handsome mafia men who come visit, and usually when they do they trash the place. I sigh shaking my head in defeat, “Jaebum…make them stop.”

He casually shrugs taking another swing of amber liquid from his glass, “Relax and enjoy it, they’ll be done in under 15 minutes.”

“Ahh that’s not the point!” I scold yanking his arm so that he would get up, “If they are working so should you!”

“But I’m their leader…” he whines while stacking up all the empty glasses from the table.

“Yes you are, but you aren’t a dictator so get your ass going,” I say ushering him towards the sink.

“True, you’re the dictator,” Jaebum coos with a smug grin as the palm of my hand connects with his back.

And just like Jaebum said, the place was spotless in record time. Jinyoung did an impeccable job with ordering the boys around to clean. The pub was cleaner than when I first started working here a few months ago. I grin plopping the last cup back onto the shelf, “Done!”

“Thank you all so much for the help, I really appreciate it!” I beam clapping my hands together.

The group collectively shrugged with replies on the line of ‘no problem’ and ‘you’re welcome’. I smile up at them, “It’s really nice meeting you. If it’s okay with Jaebum I would love for us to all go out again sometime!”

“Who cares what JB says, of course we will!” Jackson beams receiving an elbow in the ribs from Jaebum.

Jaebum leans into the blonde’s ear and whispers something that causes him to groan, “Are you serious? I hate doing drug deliveries on that side of town…”

I honestly sometimes forget that they were apart of the underground society until I hear shit like that. I laugh watching Jackson go on his knees to beg Jaebum to do that delivery himself. I see a white ball of cloth in my peripheral and I turn around to be met with Yugyeom holding my coat in his hand with a shy grin.

“Here (Y/N) noona,” he says helping me shrug into my coat. I raise a brow at the younger boy’s actions and he chuckles softly, “I’m sorry for ruining your alone time with JB earlier.”

I giggle shaking my head, “That’s okay Gyeommie,” I smile tippy toeing to pat his head softly, “Never hesitate to call when you are in trouble, okay?”

“You’re so kind noona,” the tall younger male cries pulling me into his side for a hug. I barely had time to return his embrace before Jaebum pulls me away and into his chest, “Yugyeom, you can do that delivery with Jackson.”

Jackson hollers as it was Yugyeom’s turn to cry now. I tut shaking my head, “Don’t be naughty Jaebummie.” I didn’t realize how suggestive that sounded until it was too late. Jaebum’s usually pale cheeks flush red while a moment of silence took place and suddenly his friends burst out laughing.

“Don’t be naughty JB~”

“Did she just call you Jaebummie?”

“Oh shit JAEBUMMIE!”

“JB isn’t working for me anymore, call I call you Jaebummie from now on?”

“JB is always naughty.”

Even though they were teasing Jaebum I felt my own cheeks heat up, “I’m so sorry…” I bashfully smile latching onto his bicep as he covers his face with one of his hands.

“If any of you guys call me that again I will literally cut off your fingers one by one while you watch,” he threatens, “And I’ll give them to the next person to eat. And repeat.”

“Jae…” I sigh, “Be nice…”

He frowns with his lower lip between his pearly white teeth, “Sorry…”

“Good boy, let’s go home then! Bye everyone!” I happily chirp pulling a defeated Jaebum to his car.

2:32 PM

Jaebum^^: Jagi?

[Y/N]: Jaebummie :)

Jaebum^^: It’s Monday so you don’t have work tonight and you just finished class, yes?

[Y/N]: That is correct you big stalker. What’s up?

Jaebum^^: Any interest in going to the winter festival?

[Y/N]: Like a date? :D

Jaebum^^: Don’t be dumb.

Jaebum^^: So is that a yes?

[Y/N]: I dunno :P

Jaebum^^: -__-

[Y/N]: Haha! That looks exactly like you!

Jaebum^^: Jagiyaaa

[Y/N]: I’ll meet you there!

Jaebum^^: I’ll come after making my delivery.

[Y/N]: Delivering flowers right?

Jaebum^^: No, drugs.

Jaebum^^: But did you want flowers?

[Y/N]: I’ll take the drugs.

Jaebum^^: Jagi…you can’t have that. It’s not good for you.

[Y/N]: Do yOU Do tHe DrUgs?

Jaebum^^: Of course not. How else would I have such good skin? ;)

[Y/N]: Good. I’ll see you soon then Jaebummm

[Y/N]: ie

Jaebum^^: Can’t wait.

8:48 PM

I sigh checking the time for the hundredth time that minute. Jaebum is almost an hour late. I sniffle rubbing my hands together for warmth as I sat on the bench overlooking the entrance to the festival. Maybe I should text him…perhaps he forgot even though he planned the date a few hours ago. Or maybe he was in the middle of a delivery…I definitely don’t want to disrupt him if he were to be in one. I slouch with a sigh watching the white puffs leave my lips, maybe I should just go home.

“Why so glum? Got stood up?”

My ears perk up at the familiar voice. I look up from the laces on my boots to see my brother’s best friend, Yoongi. He hasn’t changed much since I’ve seen him last month except for his hair colour, he couldn’t seem to keep one colour for long. There he stood confidently in his newly dyed mint coloured locks and his long black wool coat with a black turtleneck peeping through the collar. He smirks, hands in his pockets and thick black framed glasses perched on his nose, he looked like he was worth a million bucks, which he probably did as I could see his familiar Rolex peep from  under his coat’s sleeve.

“Yoongi oppa!” I grin as he plops down beside me on the bench. He rolls his shoulder and repositions himself so that he faced me with one leg over the other.

“So what brings you here? Wouldn’t you rather stay in and watch Netflix?” Yoongi asks indifferently, tapping his leather gloved hands against his cheek.

I bashfully giggle scratching my cheek with my frozen fingers, “Haha…wouldn’t you rather stay in too? And I was just about to head back home.”

“Did you really get stood up (Y/N)? I will literally go and kill the guy, you know that.”

I laugh causing white puffs to burst out, “I know! That’s why I’m not gonna tell you anything oppa.” The idea scared me. Yoongi fighting Jaebum. They were both equally scary but Jaebum was a part of a gang while Yoongi…I actually had no idea what he did for a living but if I remembered correctly he was notorious for picking fights with everyone during high school and for sleeping through all his classes.

Yoongi squints at me through his glasses, “I’ll tell your brother.”

I squint right back at him, “You wouldn’t dare…Suga…”

Yoongi outwardly cringes and hangs his head, “I thought that name died back in high school.”

“Well you are still sweet and pale like sugar now so?” I shrug teasingly, holding back the snort creeping up my throat. Yoongi had a phase where he called himself Suga, claiming that he was sweet like sugar. That was also the phase where he started getting involved with girls that but wasn’t any of my business.

“Come on, I’ll take you home then,” he suggests getting up from the bench.

“I…actually wanted to see the light festival,” I say with a small hopeful smile.

Yoongi groans holding out a hand for me, “Hurry up then. The faster we are done the faster I am home and in my bed.”

“Really?” I ask excitedly and he shrugs but I didn’t miss the corners of his lips lift up, “You’re the best Yoongi oppa!”

I latch onto his arm hugging his bicep tightly as I pull him to the direction of the light festival. My body slightly convulses as it made contact with his extremely warm body, immediately stealing his heat.

“Yahh you are freezing…let’s get some hot chocolate for you before we go see the stupid lights,” Yoongi complains trying his best to hide how considerate and sweet he was, just like how he was back in high school, “And of course I will pay, don’t worry. I know you are broke as fuck.”

“You’re still sweet like sugar!” I giggle snuggling up into his soft wool jacket.

Jaebum POV

I couldn’t believe the amount of deliveries we had today. Usually I would be extremely content however I couldn’t find the mood to be as I realized I was about an hour late to meet up with (Y/N). She was probably freezing her little self out there waiting for me. I floored the gas and made it to the festival in record time. As I pull up into the parking lot my heart skips a beat as her shrill voice screams out ‘oppa’ how could she see me from here? The answer was, she didn’t, I watch her from a distance as she happily launches herself at a male dressed in all black with his stupid mint coloured hair. He forcibly shoves her head away from his arm but she continued to stick on him like a fucking leech. I was livid. I could probably make it over the curb with my car and run him over without harming a hair on (Y/N)’s pretty little head. But she seemed so content, more content than she ever was around me and I couldn’t bring myself to ruin her little date. A date planned by me but stolen by fucking tiny ass mint head over there. I sigh looking at my passenger seat where a huge bundle of (favourite flowers) sat. What a waste of BamBam’s hard work of stalking all of her social media pages to find out her favourite flower arrangement.

12:18 AM

Your POV

I smile contently waving around the snowflake light stick Yoongi bought for me from a nice old man by the snowflake installation. I smile up at him as he rolls his eyes and looked anywhere but me.

“You’re going to whack someone in the face dumbass…and your poor ass won’t be able to pay off the charges they will sue your ass for,” he scoffs teasingly.

I laugh booping his nose softly with the wand, “That’s okay! I’ll steal your Rolex and give it to them. That should be enough to cover both eyes.”

“You know how important that thing is to me,” Yoongi sighs rolling his eyes, and for a moment it reminded me too much of Jaebum.

“I know~ Hobi oppa bought that for you for your birthday!” I giggle thinking about how cute the embodiment of gloom and doom was with his adorable sunshine boyfriend. Yoongi’s gummy smile surfaced for a good two seconds before he flicks me on my forehead and was back to his usual bored expression.

“Thanks for today…I had so much fun,” I grin slipping into his white Hummer.

Yoongi hums, “I had fun too.”

Even though he sounded indifferent my heart flutters with happiness, with Yoongi such simple words mean the world with this one. I smile contently looking out the window as I continue to wave around the light stick to the rap softly playing on the radio.

“Yoongi oppa?”

He hums for me to continue.

“Is my brother okay?” I ponder tapping the light stick against my chin, “He hasn’t visited me in a while.”

“Yeah he’s alright. Just caught up in something at the moment,” he sighs seemingly knowing all too well with the issue at hand, “We will all hang out next week okay? After your exams.”

I nervously laugh, “Ah ha oh yeah…my exams…”

“You’re a smart girl, you’ll be just fine,” Yoongi shrugs nonchalantly, “Just remember if you score less than 80% your brother is going to force you to move back on campus and you can’t work anymore.”

I groan, “I know…”

1:03 AM

With a loud yawn I flop onto the lumpy couch. I illuminate the screen on my phone to be welcomed with zero new messages. I frown opening Jaebum’s chat.

2:37 PM

Jaebum^^: Can’t wait.

Did he really forget about me? I felt a little bit hurt and I wanted to message him and confront him about it but at the same time I didn’t want to seem needy. Especially if he actually stood me up, that would smush the tiny bit of ego I had left. Sitting there staring at my phone until small black dots blurred my vision I decided on my next course of action.

[Y/N]: Jacksooooonnnnnnnn

J ♥: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

J ♥: What’s up?

[Y/N]: Do you know where Jaebum is?

J ♥: OF COURSE

J ♥: He’s right beside me drinking lots and lots

[Y/N]: Oh I see. Thanks Jacks.

J ♥: Why you asking?

[Y/N]: Nothing. Just curious…how long have you two been drinking?

J ♥: wAY TOO LONG

J ♥: JB IS SO FUCKING DRUNKKK

[Y/N]: Ah I see. Well make sure to take good care of him. I’m going to head to bed now. Good luck Jackson and good night! :)

J ♥: I was going to throw him off a bridge but since you asked so nicely…

J ♥: You got my word! I will take good care of him and tuck him into bed like the giant baby he is. Night!

I groan tossing my phone onto the cushion, Jaebum really forgot about me and went drinking with Jackson instead. My lip quivers and I could feel the water works starting. It’s not like we were in a relationship, just because he calls me jagiya doesn’t actually mean anything. I sigh closing my eyes refusing to let myself cry over such trivial matters. Once the hot tears subdued I sluggishly make my way towards the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Snuggled in bed with clean hair and fresh newly washed clothes I immediately felt better. I purse my lips reaching for my phone on the bedside table, flicking on the lock screen to be met with no new messages.

2:04 AM

I peep out the smeared windows from the pub to see nothing but pitch darkness aside from the dim street lamps dispersed at every block. Maybe Jaebum was just running late, I thought to myself hopefully as I sat in the booth to play on my phone.

2:31 AM

Okay.

Maybe he wasn’t coming.

To say that I felt embarrassed was an understatement. I hold back a sniffle and quickly got up from the booth and threw my backpack heavy with textbooks over my shoulders. I open the pub’s door to be met with winter’s merciless bite, “Ughh fuck me…” I mumble flicking the lock closed as my fingers already start to stiffen. I readjust the straps that were digging into my shoulders and looked around one final time to see no one in sight.

For some reason my heart hammered against my chest as I walked down the familiar dark littered street. I always walked back home like this for three months, only up until a week ago Jaebum started escorting me home. I can’t believe in just a week I have gotten so used to having his company making me feel safe and secure that now I’m literally shaking in my boots as I trek the short fifteen minute walk home. As much as I didn’t want to admit how scared I was, I wasn’t going to lie I was speed walking to the point that the back of my thighs burned. I was only five more minutes away from the apartment until I heard someone kick an empty beer can behind me.

I didn’t bother in turning around to be met with some late night sexual predator. I ran the rest of the way home. By the time I reached the apartment building I was out of breath panting with beads of sweat formed at my temple. But at least I was safe.

-

The next few following days panned out the same. However as each day passed I got more paranoid and I felt like I was being watched, even though it was most likely just my stupid brain playing games with me. It’s embarrassing, but I got so paranoid I ended up calling Jackson tonight.

“Jackson?” I meekly call out through the receiver and he greets loudly through his end.

“What’s up (Y/N)?”

“Sorry to bother you at this time but…can you please pick me up from work?” I ask my heart stopping for a moment a waiting for his reply.

“Is JB running late again? He shouldn’t be…he left early today.”

“Oh…um. Jackson, Jaebum hasn’t picked me up this entire week,” I explain.

“What? Then where has he been rushing off to every night?” Jackson ponders out loud on his end.

My stomach hits the floor and I wanted nothing more than to just hang up and go home and snuggle up in bed. I fake a laugh, “Actually it’s okay Jackson! I can get home myself! Sorry for calling you at 2 in the morning.”

“Oh what no it’s not a problem. I’m just surprised JB hasn’t been picking you up. I’ll head over right now. It’ll just take me 20 minutes to get over there,” Jackson explains as I hear him shuffling around.

“Ah, no that’s not necessary! I see Jaebum! Sorry for calling I’m gonna hang up now I don’t want to keep him waiting!”

“I knew it! He wouldn’t let his girl walk home at this time of the night. I’ll talk to you later, see ya!”

I quickly end the call, finally allowing the pent up sigh to escape. I felt a little guilty about lying to the bubbly man but I needed to end the call before my brain exploded at the newly obtained information. Where has Jaebum been sneaking off to if he wasn’t with me? I already felt sick in the stomach thinking about him playing around with other girls but that really wasn’t my business I tell myself the umpteenth time this week.

How pathetic. I haven’t even stepped a foot outside of the pub and my heart is already hammering. Maybe I should quit after today, I don’t think my weak heart can take anymore of this on top of the run home. I take a deep breath and peeped my head out the door to take a good look around my surroundings and my heart stops mid beat as I catch movement of a figure hastily hiding behind the corner. Without missing a beat I slam the door shut and locked the door. I take out my phone with shaky hands and I opened to Jaebum’s contact profile. Hyperventilating as my thumb hovered over the call button. I shake my head and quickly hit the back button, what if he was in the middle of something? I can’t possibly bother him with my stupid little problems so I did the only thing I think of.

“Hey…Jackson?”

-

In exactly 20 minutes his headlights flood the pub and I almost forgot to lock the door as I desperately made my way into his strong arms. I cried into his scarf hugging him tightly while he pat my head softly.

“I want Jaebum!” I sob my voice echoing down the street.

The blonde sighs, “I really thought he was picking you up. I texted him before coming to get you and he just said ‘K’ I seriously don’t know what’s going through that thick skull of his.”

“I’m sorry Jackson. I didn’t want to bother you but I’m paranoid, I feel someone watching me. And…and after that time with those drunk people I’m scared when Jaebum isn’t there with me,” I confess pulling away from him to look up at him to see his sincere expression.

He smiles warmly, “Well I’m no JB but I’m sure I can make you feel safe. I’ll drop you back home from now on until you get this sorted out with JB. Does that sound good?”

I nod happily with tears of contentment slipping down my cheeks, “Y-Yeah.”

Jaebum POV

My phone rings and I pick up knowingly who was on the other end.

“Is she home Jackson?”

Despite the urgency in my voice the blonde just laughs on the other end, “Yeah yeah she’s home. I even walked her to her door just as you wanted. So…tell me why have you been stalking her home and making her paranoid to the point she cried today?”

“S-She cried?” I stutter into the receiver. My heart panging with guilt that I caused her distress, yet again.

“Yeah. She thought that she was getting stalked. But little did she know it was just you keeping an eye on her cause you are too chicken to confront her after catching her with some guy,” Jackson sighs all teasing put aside he was genuinely upset by how I handled the situation.

“She cried because I scared her?” This already happened once I didn’t want to be the cause of her tears because of my thoughtless actions.

Jackson chuckles on his end, “Actually, she was crying for you. She literally said ‘I want Jaebum’ you should just talk to her JB. The guy was probably just a school friend or something. I’m no love expert but she really likes you, don’t fuck this up. She’s a great girl, don’t lose her because you are scared that she’s invested with someone else. Because with what I’m understanding, the only person she’s invested in is you.”

I registered all of that but the only thing that was able to leave my lips was, “Is this really Jackson?”

And my question was answered when he started shouting profanities on the other end. He takes a deep breath, “Just go talk to her will you?”

“I will.”

Your POV

6:14 PM

‘Thank god I didn’t have work today’ rang through my head all day as I sat during my lecture. After yesterday I was slightly embarrassed to ever show my face to Jackson again. I can’t believe I cried and made him pick me up from work because I was feeling a little paranoid.

I groan dragging my feet a long the sidewalk making my way to the 7-Eleven to pick up something for tonight’s dinner. I’m going to get some nice hot meal tonight instead of my usual instant ramen noodles, and that was the only thing I’m looking forward to this entire week.

My eyes wander the array selection of snacks and I wanted to stuff all of them into my basket but with only twenty dollars in my pocket I had to settle for one package of (your favourite snack) so that I could afford the assorted bento. Sometimes I regret being so stubborn and not accepting charity money from my brother, I could’ve easily bought the entire shelf of snacks with his generosity. With two dollars to spare I happily bought a hot cup of coffee to keep me warm on the long walk home.

I contently sip on the steaming hot liquid that successfully warmed up my hands and my chest. So far my day was been great considering how shit the rest of my week has been with Jaebum ignoring me and the endless paranoia on the walks back home. Almost immediately as I thought that my life was getting just a bit brighter, I finally see Jaebum after a whole week. There he stood in his calm stoic expression tall and confident on the other side of the road clad characteristically in all black, however instead of his usual leather jacket he was clad handsomely in a long wool jacket similar to Mark’s. I almost thought that he was maybe just a figment of my imagination considering how fast he came into my life and how fast he just left without an explanation. But here I was finally getting the explanation I deserved to his sudden disappearance. I watch as he places his gloved hand on the small of the back of a tall and slender beauty. He opens the door to an apartment complex for her and ushers her impatiently inside. Jaebum quickly follows her in right after, closing the door behind them.

Any hopes of mutual feelings on his end flew away with the cold winter wind. Of course he had a girlfriend who carried herself with the upmost confidence and looked just as sexy as him. It was a cruel joke that he played on me, making me think that I actually had a chance with someone like him, however I couldn’t exactly give him all the blame. I mean, I was stupid enough to think that I was ever good enough to be with him. Rich, handsome and kind despite his lifestyle then there was me. Average in looks and just about everything else I did, poor and straight up naïve. My chest tightens and clenches but I found comfort in it, at least I finally know where I stand with him. And where I stand is nowhere near his side and that was fine because I finally know and I can stop waiting like a high school girl for her crush to text her back.

I glance down at the scarf and wool coat Jaebum bought me and suddenly I didn’t feel so warm anymore, even with the hot coffee burning through its sleeve and into my hand. It was fun while it lasted I guess, getting treated like his princess, but it’s finally time to wake up to reality. I didn’t want anything to do with Jaebum anymore.

7:28 PM

The 7-Eleven dinner was bland.

But that was probably just me. My sour mood must’ve overpowered the MSG in the food. Out of the entire situation the only thing I was proud of was how I still haven’t cried. Maybe I’ve seen this coming, when has any of my love interests ever liked me back? And why would they now? Jaebum carried himself well, he was confident and got whatever or whoever he wanted. Even though he was always dotting on me calling me sweet names and such he never once asked me officially to be his. My brother always warned me of this, if a person doesn’t officially ask you, you can’t complain if they ever leave you. Because you were actually never in a relationship, you can’t accuse the other of cheating, the only person you can accuse is yourself and that is for being stupid. My brother was wise, too bad I was always too dense to ever listen to him. I shut my eyes and before I knew it I fell into a deep sleep.

12:41 AM

I groan groping in the general vicinity of my vibrating phone on the table beside the couch. Finally getting a hold of it I turn on the screen to be met with blinding light. I yelp hastily putting the brightness on the lowest setting but even so it was still too bright. My eyes finally adjust but my brain still couldn’t comprehend the words on the screen.

Jaebum^^: Hey, how have you been?

Jaebum^^: I apologize for not picking you up this week. Something came up.

Yeah your dick.

That’s what I wanted to type and my fingers were physically itching to click send. But I figured I should save the little dignity I had left by handling the situation in a more mature manner.

[Y/N]: I understand. That’s okay.

Jaebum^^: I knew it! You’re the best. Is it alright if I came over? I haven’t seen you in a while.

Jaebum^^: I miss you.

My heart pumps at concerning speeds as I angrily came up with a reply. How long does he think he can play me?

[Y/N]: I don’t want to see you.

Jaebum^^: Ah…yeah it’s pretty late. Maybe tomorrow?

[Y/N]: No JB. I don’t want to see you ever.

Jaebum^^: Are you seriously that angry because I haven’t picked you up?

Jaebum^^: You know I’m not your fucking taxi driver right?

I wanted to scream at him in all capitals and say ‘NO IT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING CHEATING ON ME’ but I remember my brother’s words, it’s not cheating because I was never dating him to begin with.

[Y/N]: No of course not. I really did appreciate you taking me home.

[Y/N]: It’s just that…I think it’s better if we don’t see each other again. It’s not good for me.

Jaebum^^: Did something happen?

Jaebum^^: Did someone hurt you? I will fucking gut them alive.

You did Jaebum.

Jaebum^^: You never call me JB.

Jaebum^^: Are you being blackmailed? Held captive?

[Y/N]: Don’t be silly. I’m safe.

[Y/N]: Everyone calls you JB. And I feel that we aren’t on the first name bases.

[Y/N]: Sorry JB. But I need to go.

Jaebum^^: [Y/N]

I sigh feeling slightly guilty giving him the cold shoulder but I deserved better than to be disrespected like that. Without another thought I turn off my phone and stuffed it into the seat of the couch, out of sight out of mind. I deserve my only one night off and I should enjoy it as much as I can. Flicking on Netflix I watch until I fell asleep on the couch.

2 AM

I don’t know if I was happy that Jaebum didn’t show up to take me home or if I was disappointed. Regardless the walk home was fine, I didn’t feel like someone was watching me compared to prior days where I felt lingering eyes on my back. Even so I couldn’t help but fantasize him waiting for me by the door with flowers in hand and saying something along the lines of ‘It was just a misunderstanding, let’s go home now’. I sigh shaking my head, I got to stop thinking about him and hurry home so that I can focus on the final exams creeping up in a few days.

I throw open the door to my apartment and drop my bag on the floor with a thud. Just as I was about to switch on the light I heard another thud, however it wasn’t from my bag this time, it was coming from my bedroom. My heartbeat accelerates along with my anxiety till it reached the peeling ceiling. I quickly lock the door and grabbed the conveniently placed baseball bat that rested with my umbrella by the door, thank you Taehyung for forgetting to pick it up for weeks. I hold the bat tightly in my hands and slowly followed the sound. I was not getting robbed today, I am too fucking broke to have to deal with this kind of bullshit. I chanted over and over in my head. Sucking in a deep breath I kick open the door and took a powerful swing at the intruder. It was dark to say in the least. I could barely see so I missed their head, however I managed to connect the solid piece of wood with the person’s arm. They hiss in pain, “Fuck! (Y/N)!”

“What?” I scream blindly waving around the bat with no intentions of stopping.

The person groans and flicks on the light.

I stood there readying myself for another swing as I was now practically blind from the bright light. I squint and finally see the person I thought I would never see again in leather hunched over my cabinet holding his now throbbing arm.

Jaebum.

His usually crisp and clean appearance was covered in blood dribbling down his forehead. His hair was slick with sweat as his face contorts in pain. I look down to see that his white tshirt was drenched completely red where his hand was clenching on his stomach.

“Jaebum…” I breathe soaking in everything before me as his clothes soaked in his blood, “Jaebum…” I call again dropping the bat and cautiously walked up to him.

I could feel his hot sticky blood seeping into my coat as I held him tightly, refusing to let him go.

“Sorry. I couldn’t make it back home so I stopped by here…” he pants heavily, “I…I know you don’t want to see me.”

“Shut up…” I whimper hot tears bubbling over and streaming down my cheeks and onto his neck.

“Sorry for scaring you…I was getting up to tell you not to freak out but,” he chuckles before wincing immediately, “You know how to take care of yourself I’m so proud.”

“I don’t care about any of that…Jaebum what do I do? How can I help you?” I sob looking up at him, his face only a mere few millimeters away from mine. His eyes flutter closed his long eyelashes on full display as he closes the space. Jaebum’s soft full lips presses desperately against mine, “Stop crying.”

I sniffle nodding hysterically, “Okay. Okay what now?”

“Stop freaking out. I’m not dying,” Jaebum softly smiles as he pulls away to rest his weight against the cabinet, “I’m okay.”

I gesture wildly at him, “That’s not okay! You’re bleeding everywhere!” I scream causing him to wince.

“To be honest, where you hit my arm hurts the most,” he proudly grins. I know he meant it as a joke to make me feel better but it completely had the opposite effect. I sob even louder throwing myself onto the ground by his feet.

“I’m just kidding!” he panics. Despite his serious injuries he bends down and helps me to my feet when he could barely stay up on his very own two ones, “I’m just kidding…” he coos pulling me against his damp chest.

I stifle my cries and hold him tightly snuffing my nose against his neck. Sweat and metallic iron filled my nostrils. He gently rubs his hand up and down my back, “I have a favour to ask of you.”

I nod.

He lowers himself with some difficultly onto the bed as I take off my jacket. In his sitting position I slip him from his leather jacket and placed it beside him on the bed. I take a deep breath, hands on the hem of his shirt. With closed eyes I peel the sticky fabric off his body and dropped it onto the floor. I open my eyes to see Jaebum also having his eyes squeezed shut. I lower my head and gently kissed his cheek causing his warm chocolate brown eyes to flutter open. He innocently looks up at me and I smile softly lowering his body to recline on the small bed.

“It’s okay, trust me?” I quietly ask holding the needle and thread in shaky hands. He nods gazing up at me as my own eyes roam over the multiple stab wounds littering his front. I shakily take a seat in my chair and placed the warm bowl of water in my lap. Soaking the white towel I ring it out and took a deep breath before allowing the fabric to meet his skin. I close my eyes momentarily to get rid of the dizziness I felt from seeing the amount of blood seeping out of his milky white flesh.

“I-It’s okay…” I coo swallowing drily as I gently sew up his deepest opening. He sighs, forehead beading in sweat as he squeezes his eyes shut. A soft moan leaves his lips despite the force he bit on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry…it probably hurts even more because I’m doing it and I don’t know shit…” I breathlessly laugh trying my best to quickly finish up this one to put him out of his misery. His stomach clenches in pain as I pull the thread to close up the wound and blood started to bubble from his other openings. The thread gets tangled with his skin as I stubbornly pull at the string. Jaebum groans softly as blood cascades down his ribs and onto the bedding. Tears start to blur my vision, “I…I can’t do it Jaebum…you need professional help. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing!” I sob tears falling once again.

Jaebum hushes me softly caressing my cheek, brushing the hot sticky tears away, “Shh, I trust you with my life. (Y/N) are doing great.” He assures with a tired smile, “Just pull the thread tightly.” I rub away my tears the back of my hand and nod, “Okay.”

I pull the string with all my might closing up the opening successfully. Maybe a little too successfully, his skin bunches around the thread causing a loud moan to leave Jaebum, “Fuck...that’s my girl,” he hisses under his breath, “Now two more. Just maybe a little more gentle okay?”

I shyly smile nodding, “Sorry Jaebummie.” He lets out a heavy breath with a content smile, “I thought I was never going to hear you call me that again. I’m so relived.”

“I’m still mad at you,” I huff sticking the needle with a little more confidence into him. He takes a sharp intake of breath, “What did I do? I should be mad with you!” he says defensively.

“What?” I threaten glooming over his reclined body and he smiles sheepishly waving away the situation with his better arm, the arm that I didn’t facture. Being petty I pull the thread just as hard as my first accidental one. Jaebum sucks his teeth and clenches the bedding in his fist in blinding white pain. After sewing up two wounds and the first one being the longest and deepest the last sewing job as a piece of cake. And watching the intimidating man withering in pain and moaning in my bed gave me the sympathy to be gentle for his last one. He sighs in relief as he was preparing himself for another brutal assault but it never came. I give his toned chest and stomach one final wipe with the now pink towel before bandaging him up snuggly. I told him to wait as I went to change the water and towel to gingerly wipe away the sweat and dried up trickle of blood on his temple, “There.”

The corners of his lips twitch upwards as he nuzzles his cheek against my palm. Jaebum turns his head and presses his chapped lips against my thumb, “Thank you,” he breaths closing his eyes finally allowing the exhaustion to take over his body.

“You can stay the night…I guess,” I huff retracting my hand to cross my arms over my chest, “I’m going to shower and get ready for bed,” I quietly say tapping my fingers against the now cold bowl of water.

The hot shower was much needed after that eventful and probably life scarring experience. Never had I’ve seen that much blood in my life and that is coming from a girl who seen drunk people make broken glass rain at work. I also never stitched a person up before, my hands can still feel the resistance of skin against the tip of the needle before finally giving in and getting punctured. I slip into my Ryan Bear pajamas seeing no shame in them since Jaebum already saw them last week. I quietly navigate my way from the bathroom and through the bedroom trying my best to not wake up Jaebum.

“Where are you going?” his soft voice calls out.

“Um…to the living room,” I explain but it sounded more like a question.

Jaebum tries to get up into a seated position but his face contorts in pain as he accidently applies pressure onto his bruised arm. He raises a brow and tilts his head to the little space beside him on the twin sized bed, “Why don’t you sleep here?”

A small smile stretches across my features and I shake my head reluctantly, “That’s probably not a good idea.”

“Oh right. Your boyfriend would get mad,” Jaebum practically growls out.

“I think the only person who is getting mad is you Jaebum,” I lightly laugh, “But no. I don’t have a boyfriend and I wont sleep with you because you have a girlfriend. Anyways, good night Jaebum.”

I give him another small smile before making my way to the door to the living room. What Jaebum did next made me and all the doctors around the world scream as well. He jumps up from the bed to jumps to block the door with no pain evident in his face in his hurried panic.

“What girlfriend?! The only girlfriend I want is you and I thought I made that clear!” He spits out in a frantic haste.

I blink up at him before hitting him on the chest, “What the fuck Jaebum! It’s not that big of a deal! Get back in bed you’re hurt!” I scream shoving him back to bed but he didn’t move a budge.

“Only if you join me,” he stubbornly replies, I huff crossing my arms over my chest and he did the same. I roll my eyes and gestured my head over to the bed and made my way over with him. He slips back into the indent he made into the bed while I sit beside him on the small space beside him careful to not accidently brush against him.

“So you were mad because you thought I had a girlfriend?” He inquires slipping a hand under the pillow as he laid on his side facing me. I look down at him and nodded biting my lip.

“Well you didn’t talk to me for a week after leaving me at the festival waiting for you for an hour and when I finally see you were you were walking a really pretty girl into an apartment! What else was I supposed to think you dumbass! And you made me walk home all alone and it was scary!” At that moment I could probably audition at some entertainment company and debut as the next best female rapper after CL. After finally letting out my bottled emotions I felt a lot better, but bringing up my week’s trouble I felt the waterworks start up again.

Jaebum laughs snuggling his face into the fluffy pillow. He reaches a hand out and pulls me so that I lay closely beside him. Practically sharing a pillow with him he gazes deeply into my eyes and smiles his crescent eyed smile, “I thought I made myself very clear that I love you and that I want to be with you,” he says knitting his eyebrows together. “Well first, I’m sorry about the festival. I did come but extremely late, a job got me caught up. That was my fault. But I saw you with this stupid mint hair guy and I got mad and left.”

I giggle, “You get jealous that easily? I thought I made it very clear that I like you too.”

“Well…you are a extremely kind girl okay? You could’ve just been being nice to me. I don’t know! Anyways, that led to not picking you up. But I was there, I stalked you home and I made you feel paranoid which is also my bad.”

My shoulders shake trying to hold back my laughter, “Ahh Jaebum…”

“And third, that pretty girl was a prostitute. We escort all our girls to their clients to ensure their safety. Regardless I don’t know why you of all people would be jealous at all. You are the most beautiful girl out there anyways,” he confesses in all seriousness. After explaining everything he takes in a huge breath then flashed me a shy smile.

Blood rushes to my cheeks and I blush a bright red similar to a tomato, “Y-You can’t just say things like that!”

“I will tell you everything no matter how embarrassing if that can make you stay. I don’t want to lose you,” he says raking his fingers over my spine. I sheepishly grin looking anywhere but deep into his eyes.

“I didn’t know where our relationship stood. You never asked me out officially…” I lamely interject and he smiles.

“I didn’t realize I had to officially ask you out to show how much I cared for you since I thought my actions said enough. But if that can prevent this from happening ever again…” he sighs rolling his eyes teasingly, “Will you do me the honour and be my girlfriend?”

“That was so cheesy,” I complain with a groan stifling the giggle as he presses the tip of his nose against mine.

“You loved it. Shut up and kiss me,” he hums closing his eyes.

I roll my eyes and press my lips against his.

“So is that a yes or a no?” Jaebum ponders throwing the cover over us.

I laugh snuggling into the already warmed up blankets, “Are you stupid?”

“I need you to confirm so the next time I see you with another man I know you aren’t cheating on me,” he whines teasingly as I relentlessly hit him regardless of his injuries.

“Yes. Yes I will be your girlfriend. You are so stupid I hate you,” I sigh closing my eyes. Regardless of the indifferent front I put up, he felt my heart hammering happily against his.

“I love you too. Now go turn off the lights (Y/N),” he yawns closing his eyes with a smug smile on his lips.

“What? No I’m comfortable you go turn it off.”

He feigns pain, “B-But I’ve been stabbed.”

“Oh god, I fucking hate you Jaebum.”

9:32 AM

“Hey don’t you have class?”

My eyes flew open and I abruptly sit up from bed. The sudden rush of blood to my head causes black dots to appear in my vision. I blink reaching over for my phone.

“Just kidding. It’s reading week for you no?”

Relief floods my body but not it was replaced with complete and utter annoyance. I whip my head around to see Jaebum lying down smugly with arms behind his head.

“Okay you little shit…” I seethe between my teeth, “What do you want.”

Jaebum pretends to be in deep thought before his face lights up brightly, “Pancakes and a nice hot shower!”

I flop down into the mattress with a groan, “You woke me up like that for pancakes? Go shower yourself.”

“I can’t. You hurt my dominant arm,” and if that wasn’t enough to make me feel guilty already he adds, “When you tried to club me to death.”

“You haven’t been my boyfriend for more than 12 hours and you already want me to bathe you?”

“Yeah”

“Alright let’s go you freak.”

-

I told myself it wasn’t anything sexual. He needed me to help him shower because he was hurt, that was all. Even so, when he starts to strip of his pants I was internally screaming. I close my eyes but I hear loud and clear the fabric dropping and pooling by his feet. I hear his chuckles and a loud slapping noise as he teasingly stretches and snaps the elastic of his boxers. I mumble some profanities under my breath as the smaller piece of fabric drops to the tiled floor.

“I need help,” Jaebum states indifferently.

I shake my head eyes still squeezed shut, “No you don’t. You’re a big boy.”

“Yeah I am. You can see too if you just open your eyes,” he teases and I practically choke on my spit.

“Jaebum!” I whine covering my face with my hands.

“No seriously though, I can’t take off the bandages.”

I groan blindly swiping my hands at the air to find him. Surely enough with my luck I accidently traveled a little too low to swat the back of my hand against his precious family jewels. I scream mentally taking in how soft the skin felt and how much resistance it had when getting hit which only meant that he was in fact quite large. But I didn’t want that to plague my brain so I continued to scream hoping the sound would drown my dirty thoughts and flush them right out of my brain.

“Ah jagi, I just want a shower. Why are you teasing me?”

“I-I’m not! It was an accident and you know that!”

He hums contently probably shrugging but I couldn’t really tell as my eyes were still glued shut. Jaebum takes my hands in his and places them on his chest. I smooth my palms against his hot skin and found the bandages quickly undoing them. He lets out a soft sigh as my hands travelled lower and lower but after no indications of any more bandages I quickly retract my hands to my sides, “There.”

“You know I don’t care if you see me naked,” he says suddenly with his hands rubbing soothing circles into my hips.

“I know you don’t,” I stutter with a blush.

“Then open your pretty eyes,” he chuckles.

Testing the waters I crack open one eye to see him grin. Then I opened my other eye but I refused to look any lower than his broad shoulders. He gives me a goofy grin that I started to feel characteristically more fitting than his brooding aura that he held a week ago. His gaze flutters down to my lips but he didn’t kiss me this time. Instead he drags me to the shower. I roll up my sleeves and tippy toed to grab the handle of the showerhead. I test the warm water in my hand before spraying him with it. He bites his lips as the water stung his wounds but for the most part he seemed to enjoy the water cascading down his body taking away all of yesterday’s sweat.

“Well go soap yourself,” I sternly say and he simply shrugs.

“I can’t my arm hurts. I think you broke it,” he pouts and I spray his face attempting to wash away his lies.

He stands there with no intention to move. I lather the soap in my hands and gingerly rub it into his chest, under his arms, and extremely carefully over his stitches. Thank god he took pity in me and lathed soap in his lower region by himself with his single uninjured hand. I spray the soap away before washing his hair. He grins rather cutely at me as I worked shampoo into his locks, with a cloud perched on his head I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

I managed to stay rather dry considering that I practically had one foot in the shower but it didn’t last long once Jaebum pulled me into a tight hug before he had the chance to dry off.

“Thank you,” he hums against the shell of my ear.

I wasn’t sure if I was blushing by his voice being so close to my ear and sending vibrations straight through my body or if it was because I could feel his soft limp member pressed against my stomach. Regardless I was at a loss of words so I nod shyly in return.

Thankfully I wore boxers as shorts and extremely baggy t-shirts and even more thankfully Jaebum fit in them. I could only look at him properly once he was covered in my green checker print boxers and my bright yellow oppai tee. (Google this if you don’t know what it is, it’s gold) I couldn’t help but throw my head back in laughter at how silly and adorable he looked in colourful clothing. And to top off the look with his hair freshly blow dried with no gel pushing his hair back his fringe sat on his forehead and he looked like a completely different person, he looked soft. His strong arched eyebrows were covered but left his two cute moles peeping from under the tresses of onyx hair. I smiled up at him, I can’t believe this is the man that runs the notorious and merciless GOT7.

Even though I insist that he relaxes on the couch while I throw together his pancakes he persistently follows me closely into the kitchen where he stuck to me like glue. His arms never fail to circle my waist tightly as I made my way around the kitchen.

“Ah you are in the way! Go relax will you!” I complain even though he wasn’t really. I enjoyed his attention very much, however I just don’t want him to know that even though I’m well aware that he knows all too well already.

Instead of coming back with a snarky reply like he usually does he kisses my neck causing the pancake I was attempting to flip fly out of my pan.

“Jaebummie…” I groan as I feel his teeth nip at the supple skin.

I could feel him smile against my neck before he suckles the skin into his mouth. He pulls away with a pop and a smug grin, “Okay.”

He pulls away and makes his way to the couch, leaving me in the kitchen with a pancake on the floor and a hickey on my neck. This man will be the death of me, I swear.

After successfully making a stack of buttermilk pancakes and throwing on a handful of fresh strawberries and blueberries I bring it to Jaebum who was sprawled on the couch like a starfish.

“Yah your pancakes your majesty,” I tease placing them in front of him on the coffee table. He grins sitting up excitedly but thankfully a little more careful of his stitches compared to yesterday. I smile contently watching him gobble up the fluffy cakes. He turns to me with stuffed cheeks, a little piece still sticking out from his lips causing me to giggle. He quickly swallows surprisingly managing to not choke to death and leans in to capture my lips. Even though it was a chaste kiss I could still taste the sweet syrup on him. He smiles pulling away, “Thank you for the food.”

“You like getting babied don’t you?” I curiously ask fighting back a smile.

He blinks pulling his lips into a thin line, “No one ever babies me. Only you do so I’m going to enjoy it obviously.”

I laugh throwing my head back and onto the backrest of the couch, “Big scary mafia boss likes getting pampered?”

He rolls his eyes stuffing another full cake into his mouth, “Well if you put it that way I’m going to deny it.”

“I mean I don’t really care. When you are with me I only see Jaebum. I don’t see JB the mafia boss,” I smile watching a pretty pink dust his pale cheeks, “I also think you look cute with your hair down. I don’t mind your hair pushed back at all, it makes you look unbelievably sexy. But you look so adorable right now with your natural fluffy hair.”

“I don’t want to be cute!” He defensively yells as his cheeks grow darker in shade.

“You’re so cute,” I grin picking at the fruit that laid forgotten by Jaebum in his pursuit for pancakes.

-

The rest of the day consisted of me nursing Jaebum, whether it be getting him a glass of water, get a itch on his back, or rubbing his stomach cause he ate too fast, I did it all. It was nearly 3 PM when I realized I had to go to work, however I was extremely reluctant to leave Jaebum alone like this. While he took a nap on the couch with his head in my lap I made a call into the pub. With one hand continuing to run through his soft tresses while the other held the phone to my ear.

“Hey – sorry I…have a personal emergency I can’t come into work for a few days.”

Surprisingly my boss was completely understanding of the situation. Most probably because I never complained while I took all the shitty shifts and covered for anyone who couldn’t come into work. Having the next few days off would be good, giving me time to care for Jaebum and focus on studying for my final exams. However I can’t help but feel nervous by the nagging that rent money is due in a couple of days as well. It’s probably better to tell my landlord earlier than later that I wouldn’t be able to deliver the full amount by Thursday. I didn’t even realize I groaned out loud until the softly snoring Jaebum’s eyes flutter open to look up at me curiously.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah it’s nothing. Why don’t you go take a nap on the bed? I’ll be back soon I just need to go do something really quick,” I smile reassuringly as he nodded with question.

“Okay,” he smiles warmly, “Stay safe.”

-

I took my sweet time walking down the flights of stairs to get to the first floor where my landlord lived seeing that I was dreading what was coming. I take a deep breath before my knuckles made contact with the door. Shortly after the old man hobbled his way to the door and opened it with a toothy grin, “Ah Miss. (Y/N)! How can I help you?”

I scratch my cheek nervously with my index finger, “I…I just wanted to apologize that my rent money won’t be ready for you by Thursday. I know this is my second month in a row being late but believe me when I say I will get the money to you.”

The old man sighs before erupting in a fit of laughter. Oh man I did it. I broke the poor man who has to deal with my physically poor ass. He shakes his head, “Don’t worry about that dear. A handsome young man came to see me about a week ago and gave me enough money to cover your rent for about a year.”

My eyes bulge out in utter shock, “A-A year?!”

“I was just as shocked as you dear!” The man wholeheartedly chuckles, “He just said ‘This should cover her rent, don’t give her a hard time’ and left, just like that! He never even asked how much your rent was.”

I frown, this smelled like my brother all over it or Jaebum.

“May I ask who gave you the money?”

“Ah the man was very handsome. Dressed all black, leather jacket. Very intimidating. Thank the gods that he was giving me money and not asking me for money in return! I would be shaking in my shoes!”

Definitely Jaebum.

“Was there anything else he said?”

“Oh! Just to…” the man gulps suddenly nervous, “Not tell you…Oh! Dear me! Please don’t tell him I told you!”

“Of course I wont!”

-

God help Jaebum. I storm up the flight of stairs with purpose as if I were starring in some broadway musical.

“Jaebum!!!” I screech sending the bedroom door practically swinging off its hinges.

He peers up from under the covers unaffected by my booming voice, “Yes?”

“Did you pay for my rent? You know I hate depending on others!” I cry out in disbelief.

“Ah that fucking old man had one job,” Jaebum cusses under his breath.

“Jaebum…why?” I ask evidently upset that he spent so much of his money on me.

“I don’t see what’s the big problem (Y/N),” he sighs sitting up for the long speal that he knew was coming his way.

“I don’t want to be dependent on others Jaebum. I want to work hard and earn for myself. I can take care of myself,” I explain pinching the bridge of my nose in irritation.

“And I want to care for you. It’s okay to be dependent on others (Y/N) especially on me. I think everyone around you knows how capable you are at taking care of yourself but you should enjoy life a little. Yes you are making money for your necessities but your health is plummeting because you work insane hours while juggling school. I just want to take a load off your back because it hurts watching you stress out over such a little thing like money,” Jaebum explains rather calmly with a small shrug.

I pull my quivering lips into a frown, he was too sweet just like the syrup that tainted his lips earlier. I fight a sniffle and made my way over to the bed to snuggle into his side, “Thank you…” I mumble allowing his arms to pull me flush against his sculpted warm body.

“I never want money to be an issue for you. It’s literally just paper. I just want you to focus on school and do what you love and makes you happy. Understood?”

“Understood,” I grin as happy tears slip down the corners of my eyes.

“Ahh are you crying again? You big baby…” he teases with his voice full of admiration, “What if I told you I also paid off your school tuition?”

I sat up to look at him seriously and he laughs “I didn’t! I know how important it is for you to pay it off by yourself. You can try your best first and whatever is left I will cover it for you. Deal?”

“Thank you Jaebum,” I smile through my blurry tear vision. Regardless I could still make out his bright grin.

“Please continue to take care of me Jaebum,” I cry finally admitting that I wanted someone’s help. It felt good and at the same time it didn’t make me feel weak. Jaebum helped me because he wanted me to focus on things that made me happy. He didn’t give me charity money because he pitied me, he wanted me to work hard for bigger and better things without money being a factor that was weighing me down.

“Jaebum?”

He hums in reply, “Yeah?”

“I love you too,” I smile wiping away my happy tears, “I didn’t say it yesterday. But I love you too.”

“Yeah I know,” he smugly concludes pulling me back against his body, “I love you most.”

He pulls me into a kiss as I lean over him allowing him to continue to lie on his back. Even though he was beneath me he still forged dominance as he slips in his warm appendage into my hot cavern. I moan softly as he palms his hand against my breast.

“Jaebum…you’re hurt. We should wait until you’re better,” I sigh pulling away as his lips stubbornly follows mine catching them again.

“I already waited. I wanted to do this in the car when you first kissed me,” he mumbles against my cheek.

“Wouldn’t it hurt?” I ask slightly concerned if it was a good idea to get physical in his condition.

“It hurts more having a hard throbbing cock than a slight tug of stitches. Also knowing you, you will be gentle I’m not concerned in the slightest,” he explains indifferently.

“Beg for it then,” I tease biting my lip. Knowing his personality he was going to be the definition of dominant once he’s back in fit condition. I might as well enjoy the dominance why I can when he’s recovering from three stab wounds, a blow to the head, and arm from yours truly. He raises a brow and I push back his hair so that I could see his forehead and eyebrows, which oddly did something to me.

He slips his index and middle finger into the elastic of my Ryan Bear shorts with a loud snap and gave me a simple command, “Off.” Maybe I was wrong, even in his state he was dominant. Then again what should I expect from mafia leader Jaebum? I obediently take off the shorts, leaving not much difference considering how short the shorts were to begin with. Jaebum smirks reaching out his hand to cup the back of my head, lowering my face to his. He tugs at my bottom between his teeth as his hand slides from the back of my head, down my spine, before slipping into my panties to grab a handful of my ass in his large calloused palm. I whimper as his finger slides up between the crack to rake his fingers under my pajama top, “Off.”

I nervously unbutton the front allowing the fabric to open to only slightly reveal the front sliver of my body. He hums motioning his finger in a come hither motion. I snuffle on my knees closer to him. Jaebum grips my right thigh to bring it over to his other side so that I was straddling him. Even though I was above him I still felt small as he beckons for me to travel higher up on his body. My heat was rested carefully on his stomach as one of his hands held tightly on mine while his other one tugged the collar of my shirt down slipping the thin material from my shoulders. The fabric sat on my elbows and I fell shy as he swallows in my naked form before him. His hand runs up from the hem of my underwear up my waist and ribs until it settles cupping one of my breast. I shyly bite my lip looking into his lust filled orbs. He softly squeezes causing a soft mewl to life my lips, he smirks satisfied before tweaking the sensitive bud between his index and thumb.

“Come, bring that into my mouth,” he says without a hiccup.

“I…I…” I stutter and he slyly smirks, “Did I stutter?”

I shake my head placing both hands on his shoulder as I arch my back so that my breasts press against his nose. He slips out a tongue and swirls it around the sensitive bud before suckling it into his hot mouth. I let out a soft whine as his lips suctioned on my breast. I slid my hands from his shoulders up to his soft onyx locks as his tongue flicks side to side with my nipple still in his mouth. I call out his name and he pulls away with a pop, he looks up at me between my breasts and smiles, “It’s okay, trust me?” it was the exact same words I said to him yesterday. I nod shyly, “Of course.”

Without missing a beat his lips were latched onto my other nipple. His hand palmed and pinched at my other breast slicked with his salvia keeping it occupied making sure it didn’t feel neglected as he gave attention to the other. I whimper as he harshly sucks on the sensitive bud with his tongue darting at the underside. I watch as Jaebum pulls away with closed eyes as he kitten licks at the bud flicking it up and down.

My breath becomes heavier with each heated touch he brought upon my body. It was embarrassing knowing that he felt my heat getting warmer against his sculpted stomach. He knew full well how his actions are getting me worked up beyond recognition. He pulls away from my nipple as a line of salvia trailed from the tip to his lips. His long lashes flutter revealing the darkest hue of brown I’ve ever seen on him.

“Sit on my face.”

I splutter nervously but he only chuckles sending the vibrations from his chest to my core. He lifts my seated bottom from his stomach and guides me towards his face, only stopping once my clothed warmth hovered over his mouth. I clench the headboard to keep still making sure if my legs were to give out I wouldn’t crush Jaebum’s face. He teasingly blows cool air at my sensitive heat and I gasp jumping up slightly. But he wouldn’t let me get too far as his hands firmly grip on my hips and lowered me onto his mouth until I could feel his soft lips flush against my clit, the only thing between them is my thin pair of panties. I dig my nails into the headboard as I watch Jaebum close his eyes in complete bliss as his warm muscle twirls against my clothed bundle of nerves. He softly sucks on the nib causing my hips to grind into his face in desperate need of more friction. He doesn’t seem to mind the lack of oxygen as he continues to prod his tongue into the dampening cloth. Jaebum’s hand slithers up my waist so that he could cup one of my breasts in his large hand while his other hooked the annoying fabric of my panties to the side so that he could finally have direct contact with my pussy. His warm appendage trails up and down my entire slit before he pushes his muscle in. Soon he darts his tongue back and forth relentlessly causing my breaths to shallow out.

“Jaebum…” I whine. His eyes flutter open and up looks up at me with hazy eyes but never once slowing down his tongue. I slide my hands into his freshly washed hair and tugged on his tresses. He hums contently sending the vibrations straight through my throbbing core. “Jaebum,” I breathe again and he smirks sliding his tongue out to wrap around my clit and gave it a final suckle before pulling away.

His hands on my breast and hip pulls away to rest on my thighs, allowing me to slide away so that I could finally sit on his chest giving my knees a break. I silently trace my finger on the collar of his shirt and he quickly catches on. “You can take it off.”

I bashfully grin getting up from him carefully making sure I don’t accidently touch his healing wounds. Jaebum leans up with little difficultly as I help him discard of his uncharacteristically bright yellow t-shirt. Feeling a little bold I slip out of my soaked through panties and tossed it onto his face. Before he could register what I was up to I softly grab onto his clothed erection. A low groan fills the room and my core ached to be filled with him. I massage him gently through the fabric as he throws the panties I dropped on his face across the room. His hips rise to meet my hand for more friction so I comply by pulling down the elastic of the boxers down. Jaebum’s hard and thick cock slaps against his bare stomach and the sight caused my blush to deepen even more. His chuckle snaps me out of my staring contest with his leaking red tip. I look up at him as his finger gestures for me to come closer. I obediently follow and shuffling on my knees to his reclined form. His hand holds the back of my head and lowered it so that he could comfortably kiss me without straining to sit up. After a long moment I pull away holding his head up gently as I slip another pillow underneath his head.

“Is that better?” I ask brushing my thumb across his cheeks. He nods with a soft smile gesturing for me to come closer again. I lay on my stomach beside him his toned bicep curled around my waist holding me tightly against him. I kiss his pronounced jawline and he obediently angles his head giving me full access to his neck. I leave a trail of butterfly kisses along his thick vein before settling over his jugular. I flatten my tongue on his artery and I could feel his quickened pulse under my appendage. Deciding to tease him a little I bite and suck on his supple skin as I raise my leg until my knee came into contact with his erection. He softly whines and the muscles in his arm budges against my body holding me impossibly tight. I pull away with a string of saliva dripping onto his collarbone. I smile softly seeing the purple blossom I left on his smooth skin.

“Fuck…did you really just mark me?” He chuckles and I giggle giving his cheek a quick peck, “Come here…” he growls easily throwing my body into the position he desired. His lips latch onto my throat like a leech as he sucked relentlessly. I cry out in pain as he refused to stop, abusing the sensitive flesh behind my neck, below by jaw, throat, and collarbone. Basically anywhere his mouth could reach he left a trail of love bites. I mewl scratching his pectoral muscles in a lame attempt for him to go gentle. Jaebum smirks against the tingling skin and showered the sore spots with loving kisses when he finally deemed it was enough.

“I would usually kill whoever dared to mark my skin…but since it’s you I guess it’s okay,” he explains in all seriousness. I blink down at him, “Really?” I nervously laugh. Jaebum bites his lower lip contemplating his next few words.

“I…” he starts with a small smile looking anywhere but my eyes, “I think kissing is more intimate than sex. I never let anyone kiss me before.”

At his confession a goofy grin plasters across my face as I watch him become embarrassed and shy. Before he could try to defend himself of his strange tactics I capture his lips with mine.

“I’m scary mafia leader JB’s first kiss,” I snort causing him to roll his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, now go suck my dick.”

“Really?” I ask nervously.

He rolls his eyes with a small laugh, “No maybe next time, I’m just dying to be in you already.”

I bashfully smile and nod as he guides me over his standing erection. I place my hands over his abs while he positions his red tip slick with pre-cum at my entrance. He rubs the lubricated head against my slit teasingly causing my nails to dig into his sides, “Jaebum…” I whine impatiently and he chuckles but nonetheless presses his tip at my entrance until it slowly penetrates and fills up my wet hot cavern. I gasp at his impressive size stretching out my walls, “Jaebum,” I whine again and he laughs the little breaths sending vibrations from his cock to my cunt.

“Take off that stupid bear shirt,” Jaebum scoffs pulling at my shirt that was sitting on my elbows. I didn’t even realize I was still wearing my Ryan Bear pajamas I laugh allowing him to throw the material across the room. Jaebum gazes into my eyes hands still on my hips, he was waiting for me to adjust to his size until I gave him permission to move. I bite my lip nodding slowly ushering for him to start. Jaebum pulls his lips into a tight line and grinds his hip gently into mine. I could physically see and feel him holding back for my sake. He was probably used to rough sex with his flings where he pounded himself into the girl’s pussy until she forgot her name and how to walk the next day, but here he was softly rocking his hips against mine as if I was the most fragile and precious thing he ever held in his hands. I enjoyed the slow and torturous pace that caused his forehead to bead with sweat but I also wanted him fast and hard. I lift myself up on my knees before dropping back down on him. Jaebum takes a sharp intake of breath as his hips began to connect with mine at a faster rhythm. He hisses under this breath, “Fuck, you’re so tight.”

I clench my walls around him forcing his eyes to roll shut to focus on his strong deep thrusts. I rake my fingers carefully over his red irritated swollen skin, wary of the rough stitches beneath my fingertips. With the pillows resting behind his head it allowed him a good view of me riding him. I would’ve been embarrassed having someone watch me in such a vulnerable position but the complete admiration in his lidded eyes just fuelled me with even more confidence. I pick up the pace as he slams his pelvis up to meet mine. Loud skin snapping noises fill the room probably loud enough for the neighbours to hear. It only got louder once Jaebum groans rolling himself over to switch positions with me. With me on my back I look up at him worriedly, I wanted to ask him if he was okay to top in his condition but the only thing that managed to leave my lips was a loud moan as he slams into me at the new angle and at a alarming rate. I gasp for air as his hands came to gently wrap and apply pressure on my trachea. I scratch at his back leaving angry red trails but he didn’t seem to mind very much.

The headboard hits the wall with a continuous thud as he slams relentlessly into my core. I whine breathlessly, “I’m close…”

Jaebum scoops me up with his uninjured arm and held me flush against his chest. I wrap my arms and legs around him as he thrusts at an inhuman pace. He captures my lips with his as he swallows up the incoherent splutters flying out from my parted lips. I convulse around his twitching cock and he slips his thumb over my sensitive clit and rubs at the bud until it became swollen from over stimulation while I cry against his shoulder.

“Jaebum!” I cry as the coil in my stomach unravelled. Jaebum grunts out my name slamming desperately with uneven thrusts until his hot seed exploded within me. I whine feeling the hot cum drip down my inner thighs and onto the bedding. Small whimpers left my parted lips as he softly grunts thrusting a few more times to ride out his orgasm. He rolls back and resumes his lying position with me still in his arms. Jaebum didn’t bother to pull out as I feel him starting to soften within me. I rest my head against his chest and he kisses the crown of my head. His calloused fingers soothingly traces patterns into my hot sweaty skin as I pant against his neck. I watch his chest rise and fall in satisfaction before my eyes trailed lower to where both our bodies met. My fingers gently caress his deeper wound where fresh blood started to bubble again at the seams.

“Ah…Jaebum…” I frown at the sight. I could feel him lift his head slightly to see what I was upset over and he just softly chuckles.

“That’s nothing (Y/N).”

“You’re bleeding again,” I groan hugging him tightly.

“It was worth it,” he hums contently closing his eyes. I roll my eyes snuggling into his large warm body. I hum blissfully curling into his side. Just as I was about doze off there was a knock on my door. I groan lifting my head to look at Jaebum.

“Jaebum…” I whine kissing his jaw. He groans turning his head away trying to ignore me.

“It’s your apartment (Y/N),” he sighs rubbing at his closed eyes with the palm of his hand.

I whine childishly butting his cheek with the top of my head. Another knock was heard at the door, “Jaebum!” I whine again and he dramatically groans louder.

Jaebum finally pulls out his member now completely limp. I moan feeling the last few drops of his fluid dribble out. He cups my cheek and plants a chaste kiss on my lips, “You’re lucky that I love you,” he says getting up from the bed in search for his pair of discarded boxers. Without a care he doesn’t bother to find the hilarious oppai shirt and decided to answer the door topless. I giggle contently closing my eyes and snuggling into the warm spot he created earlier.

I hear the door creak open.

And all hell breaks loose.

“What the fuck?!” Two voices boom across the small apartment causing all the confinements to tremor. I sit up in a haste and blink trying to register who the other voice belonged to. Once realization hit me I knew I was fucked. In a haste I threw on my pajama top and ran to the door without any pants.

I flew across the living room to be met with Jaebum and Namjoon at each other’s throats. The two males were throwing punches left and right while I screamed for them to stop. But they ignored me as they continued to yell at each other’s faces.

“Why are you here?”

“I should be asking you that!”

“Stay away from (Y/N)!” They both growl like wild animals.

“You fucking stabbed me!” Jaebum yells attempting to uppercut Namjoon in the jaw.

“I thought I fucking stabbed you to death too!” Namjoon yells back with just as much fire.

At that I took a moment to blink.

Wait.

What?

“That’s enough!” I scream on the top of my lungs finally ceasing movements from both males.

“(Y/N), he’s dangerous,” Jaebum warns trying to pull me back but I swat his hand away.

I hug onto Jaebum and pull him behind me and I look up into Namjoon’s eyes.

“You stabbed my boyfriend? What the fuck oppa!” I cry throwing my fists at the taller male.

Namjoon takes a deep intake of air and pushes his dyed blonde hair back and contorts his face into the scariest scowl I’ve ever seen in all my years of knowing him, but it wasn’t directed to me.

“Oppa?”

“Boyfriend?”

I blink up at Jaebum who held Namjoon’s glare. My throat suddenly felt dry.

“Jaebum, that’s my brother.”

At that moment I realized that Jaebum might not be the only gang leader I know.

[truesintroverse]

Don't Let Complacency be the Anchor in Your Life

Crown Jewel - inspirational sayings/life quotes I create.

I just got off the phone with a friend and we had a conversation for 2 hours. Well the conversation really consisted of him mostly feeding me ideas and things that I should do in order to better have a grounding and Foundation to set up my future and where I listened. That's one of my strong suits. I listen more than I speak because I know that there is an infinite amount of information in the world and I should be open to listening to it because that is how one grows as a person; I always like to say that I am forever a student even though have obtained my bachelor's degree in and no longer in school. He went on to talk about the life paths that I should be taking and the things that I need to do in order for me to progress and see results on my Journey.

I've been stuck in a rock for quite some time now and the reason (which he made me realize) is because I am stuck in my head too much. I mean, I'm a creative person. My head is my favorite place in the world because I have the ability to create so many different identities, stories, and ideas that paint my life so vividly compared to my actual hum drum life. But I also know the dark side of being in my head too much, and I have often found myself to fall victim to it. And your thoughts can consume you if you let it. The mind is the most powerful thing on this Earth because it has the power to manifest anything. And I mean anything. People underestimate it, and that's why they have found themselves in pretty jacked up situations, because they do not use their minds. The mind is truly a terrible thing to waste.

As for me, I let a lot of negative thoughts, people, and situations get the best of me and because I spend most of my time alone, these thoughts do consume me. Because I'm not in the mind space currently and have not had the tools to try to rectify this Behavior, I let these negative emotions take hold of me. But by doing so, those festering negative thoughts end up winning every single time and my situation remains unchanged.

I always like to say if there is something you don't like in your life, fix it. But I find myself like these people who do not practice what they preach and say one thing and do the complete opposite. I say a lot of dopeshit that I believe is really profound (even if people don't pay it any attention), but if I want to be as TRUE as I claim to be and try to influence others to be, I need to 1) have a clear understanding of how my brain works, understand what I'm thinking about and why (I'm introspective by Nature, so this should not be a problem. I'm baffled as to why it is, though), 2) realize when these negative thoughts creep in and challenge myself to stop them dead in their tracks and direct it to take a more self-serving path and 3) force myself to act on these positive affirmations and beliefs, so I can achieve actual results. Change doesn't happen by chance; change happens by choice.

I would always complain that I was lonely, stuck, broke, Etc. Now, I realized that it was my choice to remain in this rabbits hole. There were things that I could have done to put me a little closer to the place that I am destined to be. I keep taking detours that almost Keep Me In a dead end. But now I need to discover when I'm about to hit those dead ends and make a U-turn before it's too late. I think God is been very liberal with showing me that lately. Know that you don't get too many second chances, so be aware of and don't squander the second chances that you do get.

If you are like the vast majority of people, I can guarantee that you like to be comfortable. I mean, who doesn't? But take a look around you. How many people right now are unhappy, unfulfilled, and stuck? The answer would probably be, "most of the people I know". That is because most people are stuck in the sea. The Big C. The Sea of complacency. And just like the sea, it is very wide, sometimes very Rocky, and can pull you in and drown you without warning, even for the most experienced of swimmers. Mediocrity is the greatest disease of man. People are okay with just getting by, with just surviving, with doing just enough, with doing the bare minimum, with continuing to deal with people who are no good for them. But they expect to live in excess, they expect to live the good life without putting forth any real effort, they expect to have a good relationship even though their partner is trash. I think that what people fail to realize is that life is a reflection of all of the choices that you make, good, bad, and indifferent. So please understand this ladies and gentlemen, you cannot expect to live a grandiose lifestyle if your choices consists of mediocrity. It is NOT possible. Nor is it realistic. I'm one for being a dreamer, but seriously, let's be real with ourselves. That's the problem.

I am no different to this rule. I know this, but why don't I do it? Because it is human nature. It is easier to say rather than to actually do something. We like to talk. We like to hear ourselves talk and like to talk a good game to put on for other people even though we know it's a bunch of crap. But we don't like to put it in action because we are either, A) afraid to fail, or B) don't want to make ourselves look foolish in the process. Both are okay. That is the way that you learn. We must be forever learning in order to Forever grow. The minute that you stop growing is the minute that you choose to let complacency take over your life. We need to do better for ourselves and we need to start putting these things into action if we want to see results and stop complaining about things. Because complaining never gets us anywhere but right back to where we started. Have you ever realized that? Think about it, has complaining about something you don't have ever brought it to you? Has complaining about someone you don't like changed their personality? Organically, no. If you keep on complaining, you keep attracting that negative energy to you and that will be a running trope in your life unless you choose to change it. So, take control of your life and change it.

In a scary world, we aim to seek shelter, we aim to seek comfort. We aim to drown out our sorrow lives by either looking at someone else's life that is more entertaining than our own or do various things to distract us from the realization that we are on a fast track to nowhere. What if you always try to seek comfort in this world, how are you able to tackle problems head-on? How can you get yourself out of sticky situations? How can you navigate through the world if you haven't left your own backyard? How can you open your mind to other viewpoints and expand (and apply) your knowledge? Yes, feelings are important. It lets us know that you are in fact a human And have the capacity to connect with other people. But we can't do so in a way that inhibits growth and consistently holding on to our feelings and our beliefs most often times inhibits our growth because we are reluctant to change. We fear it. How can you grow as a person if you fear something that is in front of you? All it takes is an open mind and a certain level of understanding to attack any situation. We need to be more comfortable with being uncomfortable. Ultimately, we just need to let go. Let go of everything that you are holding onto. Let go of every false belief that other people have tried to place on you. Let go of every limiting belief that you have. Let go of every mental constraint that you have and put yourself out there and make something happen. Shit, I'm an introvert. I'm not a people person. Not a conversationalist at all. I'm awkward as hell. It has been a crutch and independent my entire life, even now. But guess what? Who cares? If I want to break free from that, guess what I need to do? Let go of all of that and put myself out there to put myself in a platform to boost me to the next level of my journey. My shyness has blocked so many opportunities for me. But I don't have to keep letting it do so. Guess what? You don't have to worry about other people blocking your blessings for you if you consistently do it to yourself. Stop being stubborn and arrogant. Stop being picky. Beggars cannot be choosers. Do the things that you don't feel like doing because you need to do them in order to get you to that next level of your life. You do things that you don't want to do on a daily basis in any other situation without question, so why not do it for something that will seek to benefit you in the long run?

So this then becomes a challenge for me and for you as well. I'm going to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone. I'm going to challenge you to do the same if you have the balls to do it. All you have to do is DO IT! That's the hardest part. Once you get past that initial step, and keep best in yourself everything else should fall into place. Allow it to do so. It's not going to be easy nor is it going to be a straight line, but allow yourself to make the mistakes, allow yourself to be comfortable being uncomfortable, allow yourself to consistently fail but try again. It's a part of the learning curve. Once you get past that, you will find yourself taking that major curve that puts you past everybody else on the road to success. Don't go for what you know, go for what you don't know and then go further. What separates the winners from the losers is doing the things that other people won't do. So are you willing to take that first step?

[sophiechoir]

The Anxiety of Today

You could say that people today live in a sort of constant anxiety. Or at least, those who are at all aware of the constant conflict in the world. Trying to block it out will only ever yield partial success, because really, that conflict is all around you, at every turn. It’s on the streets and in your workplace and in every McDonald’s and Macy’s, it’s in your bedroom when you wake up, it’s in the very air you’re breathing in right now.

Our very environment - the base of our world, what everything we have made relies on - is dying around us. We can see it happening. We can feel it happening. And for me, for the vast majority of us, we are powerless to stop it. What can compare to the anxiety of those living in a world that’s dying? And it’s just subtle enough that it’s an insidious rather than shocking anxiety. You can even forget it for a moment, only to have that dread creep up on you every time you see billowing factory clouds or plastic in rivers and roadside ditches.

Perhaps even more omnipresent is the anxiety that stems directly from societal tensions. Escalating political, religious, gender, racial, etc. conflicts make it so each interaction has a seed of worry - all the things that can go wrong, horribly wrong. Any time you go out in public is a chance to wonder if it’s this little town, this little person that’ll be in the news this time. Who knows, any moment a bomb might drop on our heads, or on some other people’s heads, and what can we do but keep living as if that’s not a possibility? I can have debates in my head, I can scream and shout and cry and beg and pull the eager finger away from the red button, the trigger, the bomb, but it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head.

The worst part is that, if I tried hard enough, I could possibly find some way to combat these fears. I could help fix these conflicts if I wanted to. Even just a little bit. And yet it’s that very fear, combined with laziness, that keeps me stuck in place. The thing with this contemporary anxiety is that it isn’t a total reality, for me at least. Like I said, most of it’s in my head. So if I try hard enough, I can fight it only in my head and so never have to take the effort to change my own lifestyle. Again, what’s the easier choice: maintaining the illusion of uneasy ignorance, or facing the constant conflict head on?

At times, I’m not sure.

[justadump]

Shifter - Chapter One - Boombox Week: Alternative Universe

Other Tags: Junkrat/Lucio, Boombox, Fluff, Comfort, Romance, Mentions of d.Va/Sombra, No Omnics, Modern AU, Shifter AU/Shape shifting AU.

Chapter 1/?

Word count: 4000+

Chapter One – Lucio

The city of New York was beautiful in the winter, Lucio thought, as he walked down a sidewalk sprinkled with a light dusting of snow. Thankfully he remembered to cover up with a warm scarf and gloves before he left for work. It was nearing 3pm, the streets becoming more vibrant with the rush hour- although every hour seemed like rush hour for New York.

Lucio deftly dodged around the many people that wandered or also rushed by, when he first moved to the city it had seemed a rude thing to do, but was now one of his many habits as he travelled from A to B.

Lucio was finally nearing the pet store, a small local place that was one of his two jobs that he worked - to keep himself in college and under a warm roof. Lucio would admit it was stressful, working two jobs, and studying a degree in engineering that he didn’t quite want to take, all whilst trying to cope with being abroad in a country far from his home of Brazil, away from family.

“Lucio, you’re ten minutes late.” Lucio’s boss, an aged man named Paul sighed, trying to look stern but failing. He was a lax guy, too lax to care about slight tardiness. Especially when it came to one of his hardest working employees.

“Yeah, sorry bout’ that.” Lucio said, with guilt. He did feel bad. “Professor Reyes kept me behind for like an hour, I had to catch up on some work before he let me go.”

“I’ll accept that excuse, but try to be more on time next time.” Paul shrugged, handing Lucio a piece of paper. “I got some extra jobs for you today, just some extra cleaning out and feeding. You can handle that?”

“Yeah, no problem man.” Lucio mock saluted with a grin, glancing down at the list- it would be an interesting shift for sure.

Once his boss left him to his tasks, Lucio began by feeding and cleaning out the reptile section, checking their lamps were working and that the animals were healthy. Lucio couldn’t resist putting his earbuds in, humming and swaying lightly to the music as he worked. He cooed and petted the animals when he could, feeling quite cheered up by the presence of them. Whilst Lucio was only working in the pet store for some extra money, he couldn’t deny the fact he loved working with animals. They were pure creatures, unable to judge or be cruel and not to mention highly therapeutic for many people, including himself.

It was refreshing after a stressful day at college to unwind with the animals.

Customers entered the store every so often, most just browsing the animals- or picking up supplies for their own.

Lucio served them all with a bright smile, and he would admit being proud of his customer service skills, the ability to engage strangers in a conversation came easy to Lucio. Usually the topic was animals, unsurprising considering the place.

At one point, Lucio served a young brunette woman who came in to buy some bird food, they were having a pleasant conversation about what species of bird she was hoping to spot. Lucio noted that she was British, having a pleasant cockney accent.

When the woman passed the money over, her sleeve slipped down her arm, past her wrist.

Instinctively, Lucio looked and spotted the brand. A large red S on her inner wrist.

He quickly looked up, only to witness the woman pale even further- she looked terrified.

“Oh… um…” Lucio was at loss for words for a brief moment, the woman’s terror catching him off guard. But he understood why completely. “Hey, I didn’t mean to look miss, but you got nothing to worry about here. We’re not that sorta place, what you are isn’t any of our business.”

For a moment, the woman looked shocked. But her tense expression melted into relief.

“Thank you…” She breathed, composing herself. “You wouldn’t believe how many people refuse to serve me when they see it… are you…?”

“Oh, me? Nah, but I do feel for you.” Lucio sighed, fighting down the instinctive anger that came with the subject. “I uh, really don’t know what to say, other than sorry that you had to experience that.”

“…well, cheers luv,” The woman said with a sad smile, glancing around the store- which was beginning to fill up with people again. “I should be off now, have a good night, yeah?”

“Yeah, you too,” Lucio nodded, watching the woman leave for a moment before serving the queue that had built up.

-x-

The interaction had stayed in Lucio’s mind for the rest of the shift, he couldn’t help but think about the injustice against the Shifters, the almost militant control over people who had a power they couldn’t control or change. Lucio knew it was worse in other countries, Brazil wasn’t exactly progressive when it came to the Shifters.

The fact that America (so called land of the “free”) required Shifters to be visibly branded left a sour taste in Lucio’s mouth, he tried not to stew in it for too long. Whenever he thought of the curfews, the discrimination- it pissed Lucio off. Not an ideal mood at work.

It was now nearing 7pm, and in 15 minutes Lucio would be able to leave. He was sweeping the floor, the store empty of any customer. The only sounds being the chirping of the lovebirds and budgies, and the rattling of plastic hamster wheels. Lucio hummed to himself as he swept, feeling exhaustion creep up on him.

Can’t wait to get home and rest… Lucio thought wistfully, but frowned. Damn, Reyes set that deadline for tonight…

Lucio sighed heavily, resigned to his fate of an exhausted late night, and an even more tiring following morning.

-x-

If it wasn’t for the startling bright lights of New York, the street would be pitch black- the air was starting to get uncomfortable in temperature, the once beautiful snow an almost deadly layer of sleet. Lucio shuddered, tucking his nose further down his scarf, he could never adapt fully to the cold. After double checking the store was locked properly, he began to make his way home.

He didn’t live far from the pet store, only a few blocks away which was convenient. Lucio liked to cut through the alleyways to lessen the journey further, he found walking down the pitch black alleyways intimidating at times- but Lucio knew he was fast enough to get away if need be, and could put up a fight.

So, he pushed down his initial fear and entered the dark mouth of the alleyway beside the store.

Lucio liked to be aware of his surroundings, leaving earbuds out and ensuring he scanned the area properly. It was devoid of anyone, which was both a relief and not. He began a slow walk- scanning for any sleet that may slip him. It almost got him a few times.

Lucio had only walked a few metres down, when he heard an odd sound.

It was a very feint squeak, so feeble Lucio doubted he heard anything at all. Taking out his phone, he flipped on his bright torch setting- scanning the ground where he swore he heard the animalistic sound.

It took a minute to find the source, but the sight Lucio found made him gasp.

Beside a dumpster on the ground, was a curled up rodent. On closer inspection, Lucio knew it was a rat. They were not an uncommon sight in the city, especially near dumpsters. But the thing that shocked Lucio the most was the fact it was injured, and quite severely so.

Blood covered a vast majority of the blonde fur, some dried and most looked fresh- as if still seeping from the wound. The rat’s hind limb was bent at an awkward angle, looking broken or at least sprained. Lucio noted with pity that it was missing the other hind limb, and one of its forearms- old wounds considering the healed over stumps.

The only reason Lucio knew it was still alive was the fact its whiskers were twitching rapidly, the rat letting out a soft squeak when he stepped closer. It looked like a goner, and Lucio knew he had to do something to help the poor thing.

“Hey little buddy,” Lucio cooed softly, kneeling beside the shaking animal. It was startled at his presence, a startled hiss coming from the animal- although it came out more garbled than anything. “Hey hey, I’m not gonna hurt you little guy. I just wanna help, okay?”

Lucio was speaking more to reassure himself than anything, but it seemed his soft words caused the rat to stop hissing feebly at least.

What should I do?

In this situation, Lucio knew he had to react quickly- it seemed like the rat had lost a lot of blood, and from what he knew that could lead to shock, which was deadly to such a small rodent. Lucio also knew the best option was to free the animal of its pain as quickly as possible, which would be euthanizing the poor rat.

Lucio shuddered, he couldn’t bear to hurt the little guy- the thought of trying to snap its neck was sickening. He was too much of a pacifist to inflict any harm, even with good intent. Lucio also didn’t like the idea of taking it to a vet for it to be only killed too, even if it was the best option…

Without much thought, Lucio wrapped his scarf around the rat- he was going to try to take care of it.

-x-

“Yo Hana- you got a first aid kit in your dorm?”

Lucio had asked breathlessly into his phone, which he held up with his right shoulder as he jogged through the streets. The bundle in his scarf was barely moving at this point, the occasional squeaks dying out into quiet. Not a good sign.

“Hey Lucio… uh I think so, why?” Hana replied, sounding curious, but also concerned. “You hurt or something?”

“Not exactly,” Lucio breathed, the sight of Hana’s dorm coming into view- thankfully it wasn’t very far from the store, or Lucio’s own apartment. “It’s kinda hard to explain, I’ll show you in a minute.”

“Oookay Lu?”

When Hana opened the door to find a dishevelled Lucio, with windswept dreads, a look of panic in his eyes and his scarf bundled in his arms. She didn’t know what to think.

“What’s wrong?” Hana asked as Lucio came inside her room, looking around until he found a non-cluttered surface, i.e. her desk- placing the bundle onto it. Hana watched with curiosity.

“Don’t freak out on me Han, but I found this little guy out by the store…” Lucio explained, and Hana peeked into the scarf. “I couldn’t just leave him.”

When Hana saw the heavily injured rat within the material, she jumped back with some alarm.

“Lu! What if it’s got rabies?” Hana whined, trying to hide her disgust. Although she did look at the bundle with pity. “Poor thing… but it might have a load of diseases. And it’s on my desk!”

“I know, sorry Han.” Lucio said, feeling only a little guilty. He was more concerned for the increasingly quiet animal lying in his scarf. “I just need to borrow some bandages and stuff, then I’ll be off.”

“It’s okay, I know you want to help the little guy… but is he even still alive?” Hana asked, with a sad frown.

Lucio pulled the scarf away so he could see the rat more clearly, and on closer inspection it seemed like it was still breathing- its abdomen was moving feebly, very weak breathing but breathing nevertheless. Lucio let out a sigh of relief, although he knew there was much to do still.

“I’ll get the kit,” Hana said, brushing her hand over Lucio’s shoulder as she walked over to her drawers. The Korean girl returned with a thankfully large first aid kit, Lucio thought there would be enough in there to help somewhat. “I think I got some latex gloves in there, put them on before you touch it.”

“Gotcha,” Lucio nodded, and took out what he needed. Latex gloves, antiseptic wipes, bandages, and gauze. Lucio was thankful for his limited but useful animal first aid knowledge, it was sometimes needed in the store. “We need to clean his wounds first, find out what exactly is wrong. The blood is making it hard to see anything…”

“Just tell what to do Lu,” Hana nodded, and Lucio got to work.

It took longer than he thought to just clean the wounds, the blood had soaked deeply in the blonde fur- Hana compressed some of the more serious wounds whilst Lucio used the antiseptic wipes. Most of the cuts and wounds were only mild, and were already clotting- however a large slash across the rat’s stomach was a cause for concern. Lucio made Hana compress it whilst he prepared a sterile saline solution, as well as a clean cotton pad and gauze. Lucio couldn’t do much for the fractured hind limb.

Lucio was too engrossed in his tasks to even feel nervous, although Hana looked quite pale.

It seemed like forever, but finally Hana and Lucio had cleaned and bandaged all the visible wounds- Hana looked feint, and Lucio couldn’t help but exhale heavily.

“Lu, please let me know next time when you plan to bring over an injured animal and get blood all over my desk.” Hana sighed, glancing down to her blood soaked gloves with a grimace. She threw them in the bin with a frown. “Ugh.”

“Heh, yeah sorry bout’ that…” Lucio said with a chuckle, looking around Hana’s dorm room- a quite cluttered sight considering her massive TV and console setup. “You got a lamp I could use? This little guy could use some warmth.”

“Sure, just don’t get blood on it.” Hana quipped, plugging in her desk lamp and angling above the rat. “…Do you think it’ll be okay? It was practically dead when you brought him here.”

“I think he’ll be okay… I mean, as long as he doesn’t go into shock.” Lucio sighed, and pulled out the chair to sit- Hana perched herself on her bed. Lucio saw the state of his scarf, and groaned. “You gotta spare scarf or something? Think mine should be burned at this point.”

“Definitely,” Hana smirked, and tossed Lucio a bright pink scarf from her drawer- decorated with cute bunnies. “Pink would suit you.”

“You right, I mean, everything suits me Han.” Lucio smirked, he carefully moved the rat out of the bloodied green scarf- throwing it straight in the bin when he could. The animal barely moved at this disturbance, Lucio didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. He then wrapped the bandaged rat in the pink scarf, making sure it wouldn’t aggravate his wounds. “It suits him better.”

“You sure it’s a “him”?” Hana asked, and Lucio shrugged, looking down at the rat.

“I guess? I just get that vibe, y’know?” Lucio explained, now that the blood was cleared away Lucio could get a better look at the animal. The rather skinny rat had light fur- a blonde colour streaked with yellow, his long whiskers were nearly transparent, and to Lucio’s surprise its eyes were open wide- he expected some shade of red common to albinos, not a pleasant mixture of hazel and orange.

“Huh, I think it’s awake.”

“Oh, really?” Hana jumped out of bed to approach the desk to take a look, Lucio noticed that the rat’s gaze was quite blearily- as if it wasn’t focusing properly. “It looks really out of it.”

“He probably is…” Lucio said, sighing sadly. He supposed it was a good thing if it was awake at all. Then, a thought came to Lucio’s mind. “Damn… do you have anything we could feed it? Maybe food would be too much… fluids maybe?”

“Should I google it?” Hana said, already unlocking her phone. After a brief search she hummed. “It says the best thing to do for an injured rat is to give it “warm fluids” to rehydrate it.”

“So just some warm water?” Lucio said, Hana shrugging in response. “Doesn’t sound too difficult, think I saw a syringe in the kit.”

-x-

It was easier said than done to hand feed a delirious rat warm water, Lucio had placed the scarf on his lap- cocooning the rat between his arms and the material, as he gently coaxed the syringe into the rat’s mouth, slowly injecting the warm water. At first it seemed it was working, the animal instinctively swallowing the liquid. Its eyes were open but still quite blurry, Lucio began to worry if there was any lasting brain damage.

But then it hissed loudly.

The rat seemed to suddenly come to its senses, eyes more alert, and noticing the syringe and Lucio’s finger- dived for the kill. Lucio couldn’t help but yell out when the rat chomped on his index finger.

“Ah!” Lucio cried out, but refusing to let go of the injured animal. “Fuck! That really hurt.”

“Lucio, you alright?” Hana had rushed over, hearing his cry of pain through her headphones- she ignored her game for the moment to stare at his wound. “Shit Lu, it got you pretty bad.”

Lucio glanced down to the offending animal, and his finger. The rat had managed to tear the skin deep enough to bleed, it was a throbbing pain that made Lucio grit his teeth.  

“I’ll get the kit… again.” Hana said with a slight smirk, although when she came back with an antiseptic wipe and plaster, she was frowning. “You should probably get that checked, if it has a disease…”

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll go to the doc tomorrow.” Lucio agreed, and couldn’t help but glare lightly at the rat still in his hold. The glare softened when Lucio realised how weak it was again, it seemed biting him took a very big toll on the rat. It was breathing harshly, eyes half closed. “Hey, little guy… it’s okay. I ain’t gonna hurt you, I promise.”

It let out a pitiful squeak.

“I can tell you love animals Lu,” Hana chuckled. “Even after being bitten you’re still cooing to him like he’s a baby.”

“He’s just scared, it wouldn’t be the first time I was bitten cause’ of that.” Lucio shrugged, and decided that the rat had enough warm fluids. “Uh… do you have a crate or something I could put him in? I don’t really have anything back home, don’t think Alfonso will appreciate a rat in his vivarium.”

“A frog and rat living together, couldn’t imagine what would go wrong.” Hana giggled, then hummed in thought. “Sombra used to have a hamster, maybe she might have her old cage?”

“Ooo, Sombra.” Lucio grinned, causing Hana to roll her eyes. “I haven’t met your girlfriend yet.”

“Firstly, she’s not my girlfriend-“

“Yet.”

“Yet, and secondly, shut up.” Hana blushed, making Lucio laugh aloud.

“Aw, I’m only teasing Han.” Lucio said with a chuckle. “Could you text your not-girlfriend girlfriend if she has one? I’d appreciate it.”

“Hm, you’re lucky I love you.” Hana grumbled, and began texting her crush. Lucio smiled fondly, he was glad Hana had someone she cared about a lot, he knew his best friend had been through a lot and deserved it, being displaced from Korea for being a Shifter was tough, and being forced abroad away from family to protect her was a pain he could somewhat relate to.

Lucio never thought of Hana any different when she confided in him, if anything, Lucio thought it was pretty awesome his best friend could transform into a rabbit.

“Okay.” Hana said with a pop of her bubble-gum, her cheeks were still red. “Sombra says she was going to get rid of her old cage for room, so you can have it for nothing. She’s um, coming over now.”

“Ooo-“

“Shut. Up.” Hana growled, furiously popping another bubble.

-x-

Thankfully, the rat dropped off into a slumber whilst Lucio and Hana waited for Sombra to come over. Lucio carefully placed the bundle back on the desk, under the heat lamp where the rat could stay warm and comfortable. Lucio noted with a smirk that Hana was growing increasingly nervous.

“Chill Han, you said yourself Sombra isn’t your girlfriend. You got nothin’ to be worried about.” Lucio pointed out, now sat beside the Korean on her bed. She gave him a half-hearted glare.

“You better not say anything embarrassing Lu,” Hana huffed, trying to focus on her game but failing miserably. “I might have a little crush, but don’t go ruining any little chance I have, ok?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Lucio said, and he was only a little serious- he wouldn’t do anything too drastic. Lucio couldn’t help but chuckle when someone knocked on the dorm door. “I think you should get it.”

“Ugh, funny.” Hana sighed, but practically jumped up at the sound, throwing her controller and headphone onto the bed recklessly. Lucio was surprised, Hana was religious over her treatment of her devices.

She had it bad.

“Hi, Sombra.” Hana said brightly when she opened the door, on the other side was a pretty olive skinned woman. She had a very punk sort of vibe, with pretty purple streaked hair which was shaved on one half. Lucio knew she was definitely Hana’s type. “Come on in.”

“Hola Hana,” Sombra said with a smirk, Lucio swore it was almost flirtatious. She walked in carrying a medium sized plastic tank. Sombra nodded towards Lucio when she spotted him. “Hey.”

“Yo, name’s Lucio.” Lucio stood up to take the tank out of Sombra’s hands. “Thanks for this by the way, I appreciate it.”

“Hana told me what happened,” Sombra nodded, glancing towards the desk. “Though I’m not much of a rat person, thought I could help… I didn’t need this old thing anyway, so it’s not much of a hassle.”

“Glad to hear it,” Lucio said, placing the tank on Hana’s bed. He went to retrieve the rat, still bundled in the scarf sleeping. “If you’re not much of a rat person, what did you have?”

“Oh, y’know, the usual hamster that every little girl gets for a birthday.” Sombra said with a sigh. “It was my little Hermanas pet, but she didn’t want it anymore. Got stuck with the responsibility. Kinda sucky when you’re trying to get through college and find a roommate who can deal with the noise of the things.”

“Roommate?” Lucio questioned, looking back to Sombra after he gently put the rat in the tank. It would do for now. “…hey, you found one yet?”

Out of the corner of Lucio’s eyes, he could Hana glaring daggers at him.

“Nope, still looking.” Sombra looked between Lucio and Hana. “…why? You know someone who could help?”

Hana sighed, Lucio grinning.

“Yeah, I know for a fact that Hana is still looking for a new roommate.” Lucio said casually, hiding a grin by turn his back to them. “Just a thought.”

“Well, I just had a thought Lu…” Hana hummed, poking Lucio harshly in the back. “…that maybe it was time you went home?”

“I had the same exact thought!” Lucio teased, dodging another aimed poke. “Okay, okay I’m going. Damn woman, you’re vicious.”

“You better believe it.” Hana sing-songed, Sombra looking on with mild confusion.

-x-

Carrying the plastic tank back wasn’t as difficult as Lucio thought, he had gently refused Sombra’s offer for a lift back in her car. He didn’t want to separate the potential love-birds from… bonding.

“Nearly there buddy,” Lucio cooed into the tank, where the rat was still bundled up sleeping. Lucio hoped it wasn’t too cold for him, it was getting late and more snow had begun to fall. Thankfully Lucio’s small apartment was in view, it wouldn’t take any longer than a few minutes to finally get home. “You’ll be all nice and warm again, promise.”

Lucio continued his cooing until he was finally inside, and as he looked around his cluttered apartment he remember how much he needed to clean. Lucio found an uncluttered table in his bedroom to place the plastic tank on, then he searched for a spare heat lamp to keep the rat warm, thankfully having some spare from a previous spending spree at the pet store.

Thank Deus for staff discount. Lucio thought with chuckle, as he set up the lamp above the tank. It would keep the rat warm which would be important for recovery, Lucio wasn’t sure what he was going to do with him, whether to keep him or rehome him. He definitely wouldn’t just throw him on the streets again.

It didn’t seem like the rat was wild, if anything, it just looked like a very skinny fancy rat. Domesticated… even despite the bite.

Maybe he was abandoned… Lucio frowned. The thought itself was upsetting, but not unlikely, it wouldn’t be the first time an inexperienced owner dumped a pet that proved harder than expected to care for.

“I won’t let that happen to you again,” Lucio mused aloud, with a sigh he began tidying up. He knew he wouldn’t get much sleep tonight, not with having to hand feed the rat fluids every couple hours.

-x-

“Man… I should probably name you…” Lucio hummed, whilst he syringed some warm water into the rat’s mouth. It was still out of it, not seeming very alert, but still swallowing the liquid. Lucio took that as a victory. “You mind just Rat? I’m pretty awful at names. Alfonso can attest to that.”

No response, not that Lucio expected one.

“Hm… Buddy, Ratty, Skinner?” Lucio listed off names, grimacing at each one. “Nah, too generic. Damn I’m terrible.”

Lucio emptied the last of the syringe, relieved to see that the rat had drank every drop. His breathing was evening out to a more normal rate, and Lucio couldn’t spot any signs of severe shock. Despite the bad state he found him in, the animal was recovering.

Lucio yawned.

“Looks like it’s time for bed…” Lucio glanced at the clock on his bedside table, it read just past 1 o’ clock. Lucio knew he was going to be exhausted for college, and work tomorrow. But he didn’t regret it, he could handle some tiredness if it meant the little rat was safe, warm and most importantly alive.

Lucio gently placed the rat back into the plastic tank, which was covered by a layer of towels and blankets, as well as the bright pink bunny scarf. Despite being half-delirious, the rat instinctively burrowed into the warm material. Lucio smiled at the sight, and started to undress for bed. He decided to just sleep in his boxers, slipping under the cool covers of his bed with a sigh.

Closing his eyes, it didn’t take very long before Lucio was lightly snoring.