#I know my experiences are not the same
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I haven’t lost an eye, tho I did go several months not seeing out of one eye (I kept it closed because in a stroke of stupidity I thought it would help me see better since I have double vision. It just made my eyes and that eye specifically a million times worse-)
And I noticed the neck thing so quickly. Like it was pretty easy for me to adjust (just because I’m good at adjusting to shit Idk) and even though I had no pain then, it was crazy noticing how different things were. Like I walked differently, I always kept to one side of people so I could see them better, I kept bumping my hands into things because of how closing my right eye fucked up my hand eye coordination
And when I finally opened my eye again, after so long of keeping it closed - mostly because at that point my eye had weakened and it was difficult to open it - shit got more colorful. Like I could tell the difference between how much color I was seeing. I doubt a character would go through that - but like if you’re writing a character that’s gotten some surgery done or something and had to wear a patch for a while, well, I think I at least would probably include them realizing things are just a bit more colorful after they take the patch off for the first time
Also rip my neck during the time I closed my eye for months. So much soreness and pain. I am so sorry past neck, I apologize. I was stupid
Also for the last thing ‘thehungwizard’ mentioned - it’s really like that for everything. So when your writing a character with any sort of disability or lack of a sense, keep that in mind. Like I don’t have a sense of smell and people constantly forget that I can’t spell things. I know that’s a lot less drastic and technically a lot less important than a whole eye, but still, the basis is that other ppl forget (no hate on others tho)
I’ve also experienced what op said in #6. It’s wild. And a bit annoying
writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#I know my experiences are not the same#as I simply closed my eye for a long while#and didn’t actually loose my vision in that eye (tho I may be slowly losing it now thanks to that-)#I still think it’s neat#that I can still relate to those things they list#and I think that’s important when writing a character too#because they won’t just slowly get these things#they’ll happen immediately#and they’ll likely stick the whole time#(I say likely just because hand eye coordination can be pretty easy to re correct. At least it was for me)#(tho other depth perception issues stay)#(or at least they take a lot longer for you to get used to - time that I did not have)#also never close one of your eyes for several months straight#I mean that’s probably really fucking obvious#but I do wish someone told 13 yr me that#there are other solutions to double vision
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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When you have a significantly younger friend:
“Why is she still doing that? If she keeps it up I’ll have to tell her to stop! Doesn’t she know- No wait, she doesn’t. She hasn’t been through that yet”
A year later
“There it is. I didn’t see it happen but she stopped”
#have patience#some things have to be learned from experience#rather than being told#I love my younger friends#and I know I look the same to my older friends
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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someone on tumblr: hey guys i see terezi as transmasc
random person in the tags: cool 👍
someone on tumblr: hey guys i see dave as transfem
random person in the tags: huh that's interesting! you know i personally never saw dave as being transfem but i think that's fun! dave is kinda like transgender in all directions like dave is just So transgender he can be trans all at once? lol i never really got that vibe myself but it's cool to see what other people are doing! i love seeing different interpretations even if they don't line up with how i see them <3 never gave it any consideration though haha but don't worry im open to unusual readings!
#you don't have to see dave as a girl but you also don't have to make comments like these it's just uncomfortable and feels condescending#inb4 i know this has happened to people posting about transmasc headcanons as well but from my experience it is more common with#transfem ones#for example people get weirded out sometimes when i reference me seeing jane as transmasc but not on the same scale
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Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you
#‘Flowey would listen to i bet on losing dogs by Mitski and cry until he throws up and Chara calls him cringe from beyond the grave’#-me to my friend when I ranted about this last night#he has me so fucked up like oh my god#how is the best character a fucking talking flower#I love undertale’s writing so much like it’s mastered minimal evidence giving away the biggest parts of characters#i can analyze him i can study him under a microscope#i can put him in a terrarium with a sticky note that says gay baby jail you know#he has me SO fucked up#flowey#flowey the flower#asriel#asriel dreemurr#I’m talking about flowey btw not asriel i know they’re the same person but not to me#like how i consider little baby me and fucked up 13 year old me different people#asriel sits on the playground and cries when nobody wants to play warrior cats with him#and flowey sits in the back of classrooms and answers ‘life is MEANINGLESS’ to every question#not speaking from experience ofc (im lying)#love my edgy flower *puts a magnifying glass up to him and notes how fucked up he is*#i think more characters need to be fucked up beyond repair#undertale#utdr#character analysis
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Hi, my name is Ella, and I have had a constant headache for 14 years. I am 26 years old. Painkillers do not work.
I need Pineal Cyst Removal Surgery if I am ever to experience a pain free day again.
I cannot afford the surgery but it would drastically improve my quality of life.
I am suicidally depressed because of my chronic pain.
Can people please reblog this so that it can get traction?
#fundraiser#mutual aid#please reblog this#gofundme#donate if you can#please#i am actually begging you#i'm sorry for the long post but i needed to get the experience written out#i know there are so many people in need#i have donated what I can to palestinian fundraisers#shared so many posts#i ask that you do the same for me#my self esteem tells me that i'm not important enough#or deserving of help#although i have been desperately crying for help for these 14 years#my doctors didn't care
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Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.
#k talks#adventure academy#dropout tv#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#and i say this not in an evopsych way. never. but in a historian looking back at the infinite intricacy of human experience and crying#i know i'm not really saying anything that anarchist philosophers haven't already said but it just hits me every time. it's so good#(& when the lich heard brennan quote graeber we had to pause the video while he had a little philosophical squee)#i feel for brennan not being able to play mafia bc he's too busy hosting it tho. bc. mood#i am rarely allowed to survive a mafia game these last few years#i wish i could invite everyone else who went 'oof. yeah. same' to join my decade-long group of assorted folks#who've been playing increasingly complicated week-long games of mafia over forum & then facebook & now discord for a decade or so#bc oh boy. those games are fun as HELL & we always love new players#especially the kind who will play DEADLY seriously :)
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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yall ever think Shen Yuan went through like, internet withdrawal after being transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu? Like, he's canonically a NEET shut-in who did nothing but spend his time online, you can't tell me that for the first week or first few weeks of being SQQ he wasn't twitchy.
Like, reaching instinctively to his pockets for a phone that wasn't there, having an obsessive itch in the back of his mind that he should check and see if X or Y novel or webcomic has updated -- only to realize he can't anymore and being irritated by it. Wanting to go and see if there's new posts about this or that, but again realizing that he can't.
When he's bored or uncomfortable or just feels like wanting to escape he tries to go for his phone to distract himself, but oops! Not there anymore, and now he has to find a new and different way to distract himself from his feelings. And going through system notifications, quests, etc only does so much.
And there's that Tetris Effect too. SQQ makes a mistake while writing and instinctively goes to backspace on it except hey-ho that's not a keyboard and now he just dipped his pinkie into a bottle of ink or on a still-drying letter.
With him scrambling to fix his reputation and learn how to be a peak lord, I think his abrupt cold-turkey from all things internet would just be another straw on the camel's back that he promptly Ignores until it goes away on its own after he acclimates to his new surroundings.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i think him learning how to be a peak lord and cultivation and everything else would help distract him from the internet withdrawal for the#most part. but the moment there's a lull in the day and his mind wanders or he becomes bored or stressed and he instinctively reaches back#for his phone and realizes it isn't there it just sends a spike of panic/frustration/irritation through him because its a familiar comfort#and now its gone. like this is all based off my own experiences from being Chronically Online but i just think its neat to think about#in that same vein i think it also pushes him into getting into the arts on QJP. Like as the peak lord naturally he would be doing this kind#of stuff but hes NOT the peak lord but to keep up appearances he has to know how to do this stuff. and finds it??? actually quite rewarding#even more than getting into an argument online or getting a new merch item. he's making or doing this stuff. he starts drawing and finishes#a piece and regardless of its skill level he feels something unclog in his chest. like sediment being scraped off the bottom of a creek and#being washed downstream. a weight that's been slogging through his veins suddenly untangled. physical proof of his efforts that feels great#starry is incapable of NOT giving her favorite blorbos more hobbies. starry is incapable of not giving her favorites artsy hobbies#this is probably NOT a new or original thought whatsoever but im throwing it out there anyways bc it fascinates me. i love transmigration#and albeit i've only read isekai manhwa/manhua there's a common theme of the people there assimilating into their new lives relatively quic#which i know is for ease of transition and getting to the rest of the story. but WHAT IF.#i have still not read svsss yet and idk when i'll be able to BUT have some thoughts anyways
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Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.
(Cole's cryptic comments + The Song)
#dragon age#dai gifs#flemeth#solas#cole#my gifs#you know.. isn't it interesting how DA4 seems to be going for a purple color scheme now?#....and if you mix blue and red you get WHAT?? 👀👀#EXACTLY#coincidence?? I think NOT lmao#if the ''song is sundered''... then what'll happen when everything sings the same again? 👀#then there's that one line from Solas in Haven..#''harmonizing with new magic in an unending symphony'' that's also a very interesting way of phrasing#there's that musical connotation again#but let me tell you..#listening to super eerie soundtracks while making this was certainly an experience 😶#I'm just happy I managed to make a gif set after 84 years....#and it only took me [insert unhealthy amount of hours]#hahaha 💀#at least I still remember how the flycam works lol
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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not quite sure where this originally comes from but i saw this picture and couldn't help but think of the permit office people-
#cub running experiments on grian skizz and scar-#enrichment#like little lab rats#hes already putting them through labyrinthss#please if someone knows where this picture originally comes from i'd love to know#“its fine for me to do this if you live in my building i can use your data” has the same energy as cub telling mumbo his shop sucked#c: “thank goodness its gone” m: “i almost can't argue-”#permit office#poe poe#permit office enforcement#cubfan135#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#gtws#skizzleman#hermitcraft s10#hermitcraft#hc s10#hc 10#hermitcraft season 10#pixls things
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Idk if you've ever seen it, but I imagine Machete coming to Vasco in his dreams like bambi's mom does to him in bambi 2. Just this beautiful golden field they played in, shining butterflies haloing Machete who isn't sickly, isn't in pain, a healthy beautiful dog but still undeniably himself. Looking at him with so much love and kindness, even though his mortal form is gone, he's been so truly blessed. Gives Vasco the strength to go on.
.
#oh for heaven's sake you can't put that image in my head /j#“isn't sickly isn't in pain”#“gives Vasco the strength to go on”#anonymous#answered#Vaschete scenarios#isn't this more or less what many people experience after losing a close loved one?#hoping to receive some kind of sign that the deceased person is okay wherever they are and hasn't completely abandoned them#and getting that postmortem dream visit can ease the grieving process significantly#I don't know I feel like I've heard the same thing from multiple people
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you want a new kind of guy, fine, i raise you: the lady i was briefly roommates with in college who once smoked a blunt at a party and then spent an hour confessing earnestly to me that she genuinely preferred reading detailed episode recaps over actually watching the tv show in question
#she sounded so remorseful & i just stood staring like an anthropologist watching their phd thesis spontaneously manifest before their eyes#apparently she would watch the pilot episode to get a feel for the characters#and then just read a bunch of recaps & episode reviews instead of watching future episodes. what fresh steaming hell#this conversation took place like a year and a half after we were roommates btw. i had seen her maybe twice in that time period#i thought she was a standard frat girl but then 18 months later she appears in the wild grass to reveal unhinged character background to me#and i'm just standing there nodding feeling like i missed a weird opportunity i did not want or ask for#honestly thought i was the weirdest person in that apartment situation but now i'm wondering what our other 2 roommates were hiding#not my strangest college experience at ALL but like. definitely top 20#this wasn't the same person as Aquarium Girl btw but oddly enough they were roommates actually#(not at the same time that Recaps Lady and i were roommates but at different intervals idk)#anyway i probably should have interviewed at more than one apartment before taking over a sublease but summer sess is a weird time u know#oh and this happened in Hong Kong btw
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I hate it when people don’t take aromanticism seriously. I hate it when they say “oh it’s just a phase I also thought I was aromantic but then I got a partner.” It doesn’t apply to everyone.
Respect aromanticism as you would respect any other identity
#aromanticism#aro#aromantic#arospec#aromantism#aro pride#there’s this girl who’s flirting with me and me being on the aro spectrum idk whether I like her that way#my friend is being super nice and helpful#however he doesn’t eben consider the possibility of me not liking her. he wants me to get a girlfriend.#he genuinely wants what he thinks is best for me based on his own experiences but#we’re not the same person#he thought he was aromantic but then he got a girlfriend so he figured he was heterosexual demiromantic#and good for him!#but I’m like also on the auto spectrum like him but I cannot tell the difference between romantic and platonic feelings#he’s trying his best but he doesn’t see not feeling love as a possibility#I wanna cry please I want to know if I actually like this girl and what to do if I don’t#I’m so fucking scared that I’m just overreacting and I’m reading too much into it#maybe I just want to be someone’s favorite person in a platonic way and I can’t distinguish it from romantic feelings#I hate this whole situation
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