#I just don't feel like anyone is gonna appreciate the effort I put into her Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[parsapuff]

Hi. First of all, I want to say thank you for your hard work. 🫰I want to know if there will be a release about Archon and Kachin?

Yess kachina has a bald spot in her hair that I'm currently trying to fix but it's pretty annoying and my stylus broke so idk if I'll be able to finish fixing her hair for a bit </3 Mavuika I'll release whenever I fix her hair and I feel like not gatekeeping her ✌️✌️

[bananayuyu]

Lust is in the Air

Pairing: Hongjoong x f reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: Your best friend drags you along to a family wedding, wanting to add some fun to your all too serious life. Turns out her uncle is the one who really provides the distraction.

Warnings: smut, MDNI, age gap (Hongjoong is 40 reader is 23), some talk during sex about the age gap so really don't read this if you don't like that, some dom/sub dynamics, throat fucking, degradation and praise, bratty y/n, use of pet names (baby, doll), ass eating, anal, unprotected sex

A/n: Sometimes I see a random video of him and I'm reminded all over again how hot I think a very mature Hongjoong would be. Especially if he was mocking me and making me feel pathetic. Yeah this was pure horny, quite filthy for me. This isn't as proofread as my normal stuff so apologies for any mistakes

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Well, maybe it was a good idea. You had been staying in every weekend since the breakup, and maybe being forced out of the house would be good for you. Force you to interact with a few people, to actually put some effort into your appearance. Maybe put on a little makeup, or actually brush your hair.

"Please don't say no," Beatrice says through the phone. "My family would love it if you came, and I'd love it if you came. And we haven't had a chance to spend a weekend like this in forever. There will be free food and free booze!"

"I know you're worried about me, Bea," you respond, sighing.

"I'm not inviting you out of pity," she says.

"I know, I know. Just, give me some time to think it over. I've got an assignment I need to finish for one of my classes, I think it's due this Sunday night. So if I can't finish it this week I'll need to do it this weekend," you reply.

"Okay, just text me. I'm not gonna invite anyone else as my plus one, if you don't end up coming. So no rush, take your time," she says.

"Thank you. You know I appreciate you so much," you say, sighing into the cushion of your couch.

"You know I feel the same," she says, sighing too. You'd both been through breakups recently. It seemed like your hardships always occurred on nearly the same timeline, making you both able to rely on each other for understanding. And she knew getting you out of the house, especially for a weekend wedding, would be good for you. Her cousin's family was rich and hadn't held back in their planning, booking the fanciest hotel in town for everyone. They were paying for everything; the food and drinks of course, and everyone's hotel expenses. You'd knew you'd go. You'd try to finish the assignment beforehand. But even if you didn't, you'd still go.

Driving up to the front of the hotel together felt surreal. Beatrice had asked to take your car, as it wasn't the bright purple color that her's was. This place was fancy, and though neither of your cars were deluxe, at least your's was black.

"Miss McArthur?" the valet asked once you rolled your window down.

"Yeah, that's me," Beatrice said from the passenger seat, reaching over you to hand him her ID. "This is my plus one, y/n. She should be on the list."

After a brief look at his clipboard the man gave you both a satisfied nod. "Do you ladies have any bags we can carry up for you?" he asked.

"Yes, in the trunk," Beatrice answered for you, which you were grateful for. You'd never interacted with a valet before, never been in such a fancy situation in your life. You stumbled out of the car a bit awkwardly, your jean shorts and t-shirt looking ridiculous next to the suit and tie of the man in front of you. He held out his hand to you and for a moment you paused, wondering if he was offering to take your hand. But then you realized he was actually offering to take your keys. Duh.

"Thank you," you said quickly, heading around the car to meet Bea as you walked behind the man carrying your bags.

On the sixth floor you entered your shared room, a spacious and beautifully decorated space with a huge window covering the far wall. It was a sliding glass door, that led out to a balcony overlooking the river below. In the afternoon sun the water glittered, but you knew the view at night would be the real show, absolutely magical.

"Everyone is meeting in the restaurant at 7," Bea tells you, glancing at her family's group chat.

"Well then I've got a little over two hours to make myself look at least a little bit nice. Like maybe I actually belong here," you laugh, opening your bag to grab the casual dress you'd packed.

"Oh dinner tonight won't be fancy, wear whatever," Bea replies, kicking off her sandals.

"Okay but, with your cousins family not fancy would still probably be a little fancy, right?" you ask.

"You don't need to worry about fitting in, dude. No one will care," Bea replies.

"I just don't want to look like an idiot," you say, eyeing her.

"Y/n, you really need to stop worrying. This weekend is about us having fun. I'm not even that close with my cousin Amana, to be honest. We'll probably barely interact with her family. But we get to attend this fancy wedding, all expenses paid. Just wear whatever you feel like, do whatever you want to. Just promise me you'll have some fun," she says.

"Okay, fine," you respond, rolling your eyes jokingly. "I guess I'll try to enjoy this super nice luxury hotel for the weekend."

Bea laughs in relief, at hearing you joke around. It was what you both needed more of; you both had serious work and school lives already to contend with. And seriously disappointing dating lives, too.

As seven approaches you both make your way to the elevator, pausing at you exit the door to inspect the slight amount of makeup you'd put on. You hadn't worn any in weeks and it made you feel really pretty, along with the flowly sundress and sandals you'd decided to wear. You weren't always one for such feminine clothing but today it felt right, and you both bounced down the hall, spirits high. Bea led the way through the lobby to a long hallway, past what looked like a bar and some other room that had a bouncer, to the large restaurant at the end. Immediately you saw the long tables lined up, clearly set up for the wedding party. This wasn't the dress rehearsal, just the welcome dinner. It was only Friday, and the wedding wasn't until Sunday. Immediately you spotted the wine and appetizers filling the table, scanning the tables to try to find your seats.

"I can't find us Bea," you laugh, awkwardly walking past family members you'd never met before.

"Y/n, you're at our table," you hear a familiar female voice say, and turn to see Bea's mom.

"Oh, hi! Thank you!" you say as you walk over to her, giving her a quick hug.

"So glad you could join us sweetie," she says, gesturing to your seats. "See, you and Beatrice are near the end there, across from Nathan. Oh and have you met Beatrice's uncle Hongjoong before?" she asks, gesturing down the table.

You look down to see Beatrice sitting, pulling her chair under her and smiling wide. Across from her, in a casual but fitted grey t-shirt, a man smiles back, handing her a glass of wine he's just poured. He is striking, with jet black hair and tattoos, piercings donning his right ear. His jaw is sharp, his teeth perfect when he smiles. He looks maybe 27, 28. He's wearing an expensive watch, or at least a watch that looks expensive to your eyes, and a small simple chain necklace. His hair is cropped short at the sides; he looks so put together, so professional. So mature. So fucking attractive.

"That's Bea's uncle?" you ask her. It's not just his age that makes you ask. It's the fact that he's basically your dream come true. You see the muscles in his arm flex as he pours Nathan a glass too, and it makes your eyes cross for a moment.

"Well technically I think he's a second cousin, once removed, or something like that. He's a part of Wooyoung's family." Wooyoung was her husband, Bea's dad. You'd met her parents, and her brother Nathan, but never anyone else in her extended family. And you struggled to recall ever hearing about a Hongjoong before. You stared at him a moment before he moved his eyes over to you, catching you off guard. His look was mischievous, like he wants to play or mess with you. It made it hard to believe this was someone Bea called 'uncle.'

"Do you want to sit?" Bea's mom asked you.

"Yeah, sorry," you smiled at her, making you way down.

"Y/n! This is my uncle Hongjoong, and Hongjoong, this is y/n," Beatrice says as you pull out your seat next to her.

"Very nice to meet you," he says with an outstretched hand, his handshake strong and confident in a way that makes your body tingle.

"You as well," you reply, with a bashful smile. Immediately Bea asks you a question and you respond on auto-pilot, not even really hearing. Because your head is swimming in water just from being in this man's presence, and you can't focus. You don't even notice the glass of wine he'd poured you until he sets it down by your appetizer plate, gently bumping the stem on the rim of the plate to make a gentle clink. The sound makes your eyes snap up, and for some reason he looks amused.

"Oh, thank you," you say to him, bowing your head slightly. That mischievous smirk is back on his face when you lock eyes again, like he's trying to tell you something, but you can't be sure what it is. You certainly hope he's thinking what you're thinking. God, he's fucking stunning.

Those are the only words you speak to each other for the entirety of dinner. With so many people in attendance the restaurant is loud, louder still as everyone becomes tipsy, and then outright drunk on the unlimited wine.

"Hey, my parents want me a Nathan to go take pictures with them on the golf course nearby. They booked a photo shoot or something," Bea tells you, rolling her eyes slightly. "I'm not sure when we'll be back but feel free to like, go to the hot tub or do whatever around the hotel," she says.

"Okay, sounds good. Thank you, seriously," you say as you hug her. "I hope it's fun."

"Oh, I'm sure it will be," she laughs. "My parents and their family photos," she shakes her head, making you giggle, as she slowly makes her way to meet her brother at the front door of the restaurant.

You take stock of yourself for a moment, making sure you have your phone and your wallet in your purse, making sure your room key is still in your wallet. You take the last swig of your second glass of wine, patting yourself on the back for not overdoing it this first night when basically everyone around you did. You start sipping on your nearly empty glass of water too, knowing you don't want to wake up hungover tomorrow. The table is basically empty, with everyone slowly clearing out or making their last requests at the bar. You decide you'll go explore in a moment, go scope out the pool and hot tub situation, and maybe see if you can figure out what room is behind that bouncer. But just as you start standing up, Hongjoong approaches the table.

"I got some more waters for the table, but it looks like they've all left," he chuckles, his arms full.

"They went to do a family photo, Bea said," you reply, stuck for a moment awkwardly between sitting and standing. Hongjoong nods, like he already knew.

"Oh, were you about to leave too? Don't let me keep you," he says, the glint back in his eye again.

"I was thinking I'd go take a look at the pool and hot tub, maybe explore a bit," you say. It sort of takes you by surprise that you're sharing this with a total stranger, given your usual instinct to not share anything with people you don't know. You easily could have excused yourself, and been exploring the hotel alone. But deep down you know why you're sharing it. You hope he picks up on that reason, too.

"That's a great idea," he says, gently setting the waters down. "Mind if I join you? I was thinking of exploring the hotel some myself."

Bingo. You smile, eyes fluttering at him for a second. You truly don't even mean to do it, but the way he looks at you has you feeling shameless.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind," you reply, stepping out from your chair and gently pushing it into the table.

"Want to take a water with you?" he asks, holding one out.

"I don't think we can just take the glass with us," you reply, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Oh, who cares," he says glancing over his shoulder, seeing all of the wait staff occupied at the bar with everyone's last minute orders. "I'll carry it out, if you're that worried," he says, cocking his head slightly to the side and eyeing you with what must be mock pity.

"Fine," you roll your eyes at him, trying to fight the smile forming on your face from betraying how much his tone and facial expression are affecting you. You turn around and start strolling out of the restaurant, not even waiting for him. Once you're exiting he's already caught up, two water glasses in hand. You turn to your right, heading for the lobby.

"Wrong way, y/n," Hongjoong says lowly from behind you, making you stop in your tracks. "The pool is out those doors at the end of the hall."

"The sign in the lobby says the door to the pool is by the front desk," you reply, looking over your shoulder at him. The hallway is dimly lit, and the shadows on his face make his jaw look even sharper.

"Well that door also leads to the pool," he says, gesturing to the end of the hall. You just stare at him a moment, not sure why you feel the instinct to argue. "You don't believe me?" he asks, chuckling and looking you dead in the eye, before obviously snaking his gaze down the entirety of your body. Now that he's standing you see the fitted black pants and black dress shoes he's wearing, making his outfit look even more professional. His thighs look strong, and his stance is one of confidence, his entire demeanor cool and collected. You want to come up with a witty retort but can't think of anything, so you just start walking the way he's said to, again passing him by without slowing down to meet him. You open the doors gently but don't stop to hold them for him, brattiness taking ahold of you. Maybe it's the fancy hotel, or the wine, but you feel like a princess who deserves whatever she wants. And right now that's to piss Hongjoong off a bit, and see the pool.

"I thought nice girls hold doors open for the elderly," he says once he's exited too, sidling up to you. You stand by the long edge of the pool, taking in the lights below the surface that dance through the water. You turn to him and roll your eyes, taking the water glass he offers you immediately. "So, what do you do?" he asks.

"I'm still in school, I'm in my senior year," you say, turning back to the water. "And I work part time as an administrative assistant in the Dean's office, to help cover some of my tuition."

"College senior," he says, like he's mulling it over. "So that makes you how old?"

"Guess," you say, turning to him again, this time with your whole body.

"22," he replies. His voice low, like he's hesitant to say it.

"Close, 23," you say, not lowering your voice to meet his.

"And how old do you think I am?" he asks you, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Mmm, like, 38?" you joke, squinting your eyes as you look intently at his face. The feeling of wanting to piss him off still hadn't left you.

"How astute," he replies, nodding. "People usually think I'm younger."

"You're actually 38?" you ask, bewildered.

"Actually, 40," Hongjoong replies, making your eyebrows shoot up.

"You're lying," you say, rolling your eyes and shaking your head at him.

"Wow, second time tonight you've thought that. I don't know what I've done to make you think so poorly of me," he replies, that mischievous look again painting his face.

"Oh, shut up," you say, rolling your eyes harder this time, wanting to reach out and playfully punch him. Or maybe not so playfully. He's looking more and more perfect by the second, and his attitude, the way he's just so confident and calm, is making you hot and bothered. You know it maybe it's wrong, but now that you know his real age you find this whole scenario even hotter. If you were honest with yourself you'd always dreamed of fucking an older man, but the few you'd gone on dates with or had the chance to talk to had always been so immature, insecure, and underwhelming. Just like all the other guys you'd dated. It was a massive disappointment to learn that age didn't often give people that self-assured demeanor that you so desired. But clearly it did sometimes; the proof was standing in front of you.

"That wasn't very nice," Hongjoong replies, fixing you with a look of disapproval that makes your thighs clench involuntarily, as the two of you stare each other down merely feet apart. You hold his gaze as long as you can before you look down at your feet, his stoic demeanor feeling like a brick wall you can't break through.

"You're very pretty, y/n," he says, stepping forward to lift your face up to his.

"Really?" you ask him, eyes wide. Playing it just the way he likes.

"I know you know how pretty you are, you've been giving me those eyes all night," he says, looking like he disapproves. "You're a bit of brat, too, aren't you?" he asks, his hand moving to the side of your cheek.

"No comment," you giggle, and he grabs your hand, bringing it to his upper arm. You grab onto his bicep as he moves his hand to your waist pulling you two closer.

"Dance with me," he says, pulling you slightly into his chest.

"There isn't any music playing," you say, laughing. And it's the way that he doesn't just automatically laugh at your little comments that really gets you going.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't like me very much," he says seriously, pulling you in and starting to rock you back and forth. You dance together for a few minutes, no words being exchanged as your bodies get used to the proximity, as your mind begins to swim again, even more so now that his hands are on you. You want him to kiss you, do anything, now, but he keeps his hands where they are, still leading you around in slow circles. Fuck it, you think. You lift your hands to his face and pull him in, your lips meeting in a perfect kiss, his hand on your waist moving up your back as he holds you to him, leaning you back as he deepens it. You hold steadily onto his bicep for balance, your breathing fast as you stick your tongue in his mouth, not hiding your desperation. You don't care to, not when you've spent two months without this feeling, tortured over the idea that no one at your school would ever consider you an option after your last relationship ended the way it did.

And just when it seems like you're the only desperate one, Hongjoong moves his hands down, running them up your thighs and under your dress to find your panties. He finds none, much to his surprise, which makes his dick harden even further. He gropes your ass, deepening the kiss more, making you arch your back in neediness. And then he snakes his hand around, slowly moving to your core, before suddenly running a finger over your slit, making you gasp. You've forgotten where you are, totally engrossed in the feelings he's giving you. You buck your hips against his hand, moaning pathetically into his mouth, your legs feeling like they might give out on you. He starts circling your entrance, finally pushing one finger in maybe an inch, when you finally remember where you are.

"Wait, fuck, not out here," you say, pulling back from him. He pulls his hand away immediately, his fingers glistening in the lights of the night.

"You don't want everyone to see?" he asks, a smirk on his face.

"Not when the people paying for me to be here could see," you say. Your lips look swollen and wet from the kiss, and it makes him want to grab you again.

"You're the one who kissed me," he says, his voice low. And you know there's more he's implying, that you weren't just the one who kissed him but that you had rocked against his hand, had wanted his touch. That you'd kissed him desperately, making him unable to stop himself. The implication is inappropriate, the accusation he's laid on you not fair in the slightest. He has no way of knowing what you were trying to make him do, or what you wanted to happen. You hadn't said a word. And yet, he's totally right, making it hard for you to respond.

"That's-," you sigh, your pussy still throbbing from your proximity.

"My room is on the 7th floor," he says.

"Okay," you reply. It's all you can say. You stand completely still, stuck to the spot, waiting for him to move. Instead he puts his wet fingers in his mouth, sucking off your slick in one smooth motion, humming in satisfaction. Your mouth gapes at his lewdness, struck now by just how visible you both obviously are.

"Let's go," he says, motioning his head towards the door.

Your legs move automatically, your mind playing over and over the visual of him licking his fingers, the look of utter bliss on his face. As you walk the hallway he comes behind you, putting a hand on the small of your back, making your body melt into him slightly. It feels good but you gently remove his hand, not wanting anyone to see. You pray that neither Bea nor any of her family are in the lobby when you enter, and thankfully, your prayers are answered. Nor does anyone join you two on the elevator, which makes you willing to stand closer to Hongjoong than you would any other stranger. But still, you don't touch him. As you both exit you walk behind him, almost enough space between you that you could believably look like two total strangers, walking to separate rooms. Until he unlocks his door, holding it open as you slip inside, like you're really not supposed to be in here.

As soon as he closes the door he's pulled you to him, his back slamming into the wall as you nearly crash together, the air between you thick with lust.

"I'm almost twice as old as you, y/n," he whispers in your ear, feeling your pussy clench against his thigh that you're straddling, your mouth on his neck. "You like that," he states, not even asking you anymore. "You like that I'm way too old for you. Too old to be touching you like this."

It's wrong, so wrong and you know it, but the further he pushes it the more you're surrendering to what's happening, to what your body truly craves.

"You've never been fucked right by those stupid boys at your college, have you? You need me to fuck you right, to show you how good you can feel. That's why you were bratty with me, you wanted me to be riled up. Want me to fuck you hard, like I'm mad. Like I'm punishing you," he growls, his breathing heavy as you bite down on his neck, sending sparks of pain and pleasure through his head. "Fuck, you really want me mad, don't you?" he asks and you whine in response, your whole body tingly with anticipation.

"Get on your knees," he says, pulling you back from him, your hair already a mess from his hands, the straps of your dress falling down your shoulders and nearly making your tits spill out. "Open your mouth," he commands, and you follow immediately, your wide eyes looking up at him in desire, his thumb running over your bottom lip. "I like when you do what I say," he says, pinching your cheek and making you blush, the praise making your insides turn to jelly. He unzips his pants smoothly, undoing the button and swiftly pulling out his hard cock, the tip a slight shade of red and already leaking slightly.

"Look what you did to me," he says, palming himself, your tongue nearly falling out of your mouth as you salivate over his beautiful cock. "I thought for a moment I'd have to come up here and deal with this all on my own, after you eye-fucked me all dinner," he continues, slowly stroking his length, moving closer to your open and waiting lips. "I should have known you weren't wearing any panties from the way you were acting," he says, gently running his tip along your outstretched tongue, spreading your spit around your face with it and making a mess of you. "No bra, no panties. You wanted to be fucked tonight." Slowly he enters your mouth, gently holding your head as he pushes further in, gently tapping the back of your throat and making you gag. You moan, your pussy clenching around nothing, wanting him to fill all of your holes at once. "That feels good, doesn't it. Gagging on my cock," he smirks, your eyes fluttering closed as he pushes in again, this time a little harder. "Eyes on me baby, don't look away," he says, slowly beginning to fuck your throat, gently enough not to choke you but deep enough to make you repeatedly gag, your spit covering his cock and running down your chin, your face a complete mess. "Fuck, your mouth feels good," he groans, his face scrunching up in pleasure for a moment, before he looks down to meet your eyes again, which are now glued to him, glued to every change in his expression, every flick of his tongue across his bottom lip. "I'm gonna go harder baby, I know you can take it," he warns you before picking up his pace, his cock nearly bottoming out in your mouth as he holds your head in place, repeatedly fucking into your throat. You're automatically swallowing around him, your body's reflexive actions taking over. "Fuck, so good," Hongjoong sighs, your head feeling light from the lack of oxygen and your body swimming in pleasure. You could let him use your throat all night if he wanted to, especially if he keeps talking to you like that. Like you're dumb and you don't even know what you want. Like he has to tell you or you'll never figure it out.

Finally you choke hard, your body instinctively pulling you back, and he pulls out of your mouth letting you catch you breath, stroking a hand through your hair. You run a hand across your mouth, trying in vain to clean yourself up a bit, wiping the saliva on your dress and staring up at him open mouthed, your entire body covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Hey, don't ruin this," he says pulling at your dress, moving behind you to help take it off. He slowly undoes the zipper, gently pulling the straps down and off your arms before helping you stand to step out of it. Completely bare, you stand in front of him, his hand coming up to spank you, grabbing your ass hungrily in his hand. You yelp at the impact, like you weren't expecting it. Like you hadn't been sticking your ass out ever so slightly, arching your back to add to the affect. "Don't write checks you can't cash, doll," he says, making you giggle and turn your head to face him, a look of utter delight on your face. "It really makes you happy when I scold you, doesn't it," he says, staring you down.

"Why are you so clothed?" you ask, finding your words.

"You want to see me naked?" he teases.

"Just seems like you're hiding something. Maybe under all that nice clothing you're really not that built," you laugh, knowing it would strike a nerve. It wasn't hard to tell that he cared about his figure.

"Go sit on your hands on the bed," he retorts, his eyes narrowing, as he starts taking off his watch, undoing the clasp on his chain. He sets both down on the table gently, pulling his shirt over his head next, revealing that most of his abdomen is also covered in tattoos, his broad shoulders and broad chest. Slowly he sits on the side of the bed to untie his shoes, periodically looking up at you to make sure you haven't moved, moving almost comically slow. You wriggle in anticipation, watching him slowly reveal himself, his muscular thighs finally on display to you as he pulls down his pants and boxers, his cock hard and a deeper shade of red now, still glistening from your spit.

"Lay on your stomach," he says, moving over you when you oblige, raking the hair out of your face so he can see you. "This is what you get for sticking your ass out," he says, swiftly moving down to lick over your hole, making you gasp at the coldness of his tongue. Immediately the feeling runs to your clit, your entire crotch alive with pleasure, your back arching instinctively to meet his movements. He spreads your cheeks to get better access, moving his tongue in quick circles around your tight entrance, your body slowly relaxing from the pleasure he's providing.

And suddenly he's off of you, reaching into his bedside drawer and pulling out a bottle, swiftly lubing the fingers of his right hand and moving them to your waiting hole, gently pushing one in. You groan, the tight muscles stretching already, your body arching even further to give him the perfect angle as he gently starts pumping in and out of you.

"You like getting your ass eaten, I knew you would. So dirty," he says, making you whine in agreement, your brows scrunched together in pleasure. Soon he adds another finger, the stretch again making you groan, your body instinctively tightening up at the intrusion. "I know you can take it," he says, not even attempting to comfort you. "Don't brats like getting their asses fucked?" he asks, his words making your clit ache, your body finally releasing again as he works you open with two fingers, taking the opportunity to quickly add another. "I knew it," he says, satisfied with how quickly he's stretched you open, how pliant your body is in his hands, how he's getting exactly what he wants from you. Still fucking you with his fingers, he opens the lube bottle again with his other hand, generously dousing his achingly hard cock. Gently he pulls his fingers out of you, frozen for a moment staring at the way your hole has opened up, nearly drooling from the visual.

"Spread you legs," he says, pushing your knees apart himself, pulling you ass up towards him, just where he wants you. Lining himself up, he slowly pushes in, the stretch even more severe this time, making you whine in pain, your breaths short and stifled with your head now shoved into his pillows. "What, you can't take it? Is it too big?" he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "My little brat can't take my cock in her ass?"

Tears start forming in your eyes from how turned on you are, the pain a secondary feeling as it all starts to feel just right, as it starts morphing into only pleasure as your muscles finally relent. You feel like you're being split open, like you're opened up more than ever before, like he's gutting you from the inside. Finally he bottoms out, reaching into you further than you thought you could feel, your clit throbbing painfully with need.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he groans from above you, brushing a hand along your cheek in an almost sweet gesture, seeing the single tear stain on your cheek. He waits a moment, waiting to feel if your body is ready, and suddenly your hips are moving into his like your body is begging him to move. He slowly pulls out, almost all the way, then thrusts back in, making you gasp at the intense pleasure, your breath nearly getting caught in your throat. Grabbing your hips he starts forcefully thrusting, chasing his own pleasure as he's sucked into your ass, the tight muscles threatening to make him come in an instant. Desperate for some relief you move your hand to your clit, desperately trying to circle it as he rocks you hard with the force of his thrusts. His eyes are glued to your ass, glued to the way his cock looks buried inside you, and your face, the way your mouth hangs permanently open as you moan in earnest, clearly not controlling a single sound that is coming out. The raw sounds make him fuck into you even harder, the way you sound so pathetically fucked out, like you can't believe this feels so good. Eventually his eyes roam down again and spot your hand, swatting it away in an instant, his anger boiling up again.

"Is my cock not enough?" he scolds, his voice gravelly from breathing so raggedly, the air in the room stiflingly hot. In this position it's hard, but quickly he finds a good angle and lands a sharp smack on your clit, the pain lancing through your core like lightning, and suddenly your whole body is shaking, your nerves completely on fire. "Even with my cock buried in your ass you want to piss me off, don't you?" His voice is raised, nearly to the point of losing control, but still very calculated. He lands another sharp slap on your clit, this time not as hard, but in an instant your orgasm washes over you, your whole body shaking hard as you squeeze down around his cock making it hard for him to keep moving.

"Fuck, baby, shit," Hongjoong curses, his climax hitting him by surprise, his cock milked by your tight walls squeezing down on him, your body taught with just how hard you came. His orgasm crashes over him fast and hard, his body going limp just after yours does, as you both collapse in a pile on the bed, his cum coating the walls of your ass in silky wetness. Your legs are still shaking, tucked up underneath you, his cock still buried deep inside. The position is awkward but you don't even feel it, the pleasure still rippling through you as you breath hard into the soft pillow. Hongjoong crashes onto your back, his arms instinctively wrapping around you, his chest and stomach rapidly rising and falling from his heavy breathing. His skin feels sticky and hot against yours, his hot breath fanning over your cheek as he plants a kiss there, intently watching your face as you come down.

"I'm gonna pull out now, okay?" he asks, eliciting a hum of agreement from you. Slowly he pulls backwards, his cum spilling out of you the moment he's pulled out entirely, spilling down your ass cheek onto the bedsheets. Hongjoong makes his way to the bathroom, quickly cleaning himself up before grabbing a washcloth for you, dousing it in luke warm water. Coming back to the bed he gently moves you onto your back, to the side of the pool of cum. He gently wipes you down, making you moan when he brushes over your clit, making himself chuckle.

Glancing over at the clock beside his bed you see it's nearly 11pm, your mind spinning. Quickly you move to the ground to rummage through your purse, glancing at your phone to see a text from Beatrice reading 'I'm back now, don't stay out too late miss.'

Be back soon, you write back.

"I should be going," you say, trying to stand up, your wobbly legs making it difficult. Hongjoong is at your side in a moment, stabilizing you, helping you to sit down on the bed while he grabs your dress off the floor. You hastily pull it over your head, running your fingers through your hair and feeling the knots that have formed. Quickly you zip the back of your dress, shove your phone in your purse and stand to slip on your sandals, not wanting to keep her waiting. The sudden quietness of Hongjoong also has you feeling slightly on edge, and really your head is just spinning, from every unexpected thing that happened.

"I'm not still mad, you know," he says gently, grabbing your hand as you move to breeze past him.

"Yeah?" you ask, looking at him with confusion.

"You don't need to still be acting like a kid who is in trouble," he says, kissing your hand. "That was just, that. You can talk to me like anyone else, now."

You eye him, swallowing thickly. What does one even say, now? Could he tell how inexperienced you were with hookups?

"I'm not sure what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I hope it's happy thoughts."

You nod, a smirk playing on your lips. You're speechless, unable to think a complete thought. It all just plays in your head, his tongue on your ass, his fingers stretching you out, his cock pounding into you so hard. And the smack on your clit, the way it made you come so fast, the ghost of the feeling still present in your core.

"Not those thoughts. You're gonna jump me again," he laughs, and finally you smack him, punching his arm soon afterwards. Pushing past him you walk fast, opening his door and spinning around, your eyes piercing as you meet his.

"What, you can't take my teasing?" he asks, but suddenly his door swings shut, your face gone in a flash.

As you saunter down the hall to the elevator you feel fucking amazing, swinging your purse over your shoulder and flipping your hair to the side, your sleepy eyes boring holes into the metal doors.

Well, she did tell you to have some fun. You just hoped Beatrice wouldn't be too mad you fucked her uncle.

[melodic-haze]

I HAD NO IDEA U WROTE FOR HSR OMG.. what do you think of bratty sub seele who just wants you to put her in her place?? i love her so bad i feel sick omfgjdksn

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Seele x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Reader has a cock/strap referred as such 🤷‍♀️, rough sex, impact play, dumbification, orgasm denial, vibrator use, implied public vibe play :3

☆ — NOTES: 🌈THE MORE YOU KNOW🌈 YES I DO WRITE FOR HSR!!! I've been on the grind recently too. Like initially I found it kinda boring but I came back bc of Acheron so now I have it running in auto the bg while I'm doing coursework. I'm waiting for Robin but I'm still in FUCKING XIANZHOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bratty sub Seele ohhhhhmygod anon I think I'm going to COMBUST dude

All that bravado and what does she use it on? Fucking pissing you off to the high heavens above

She's a headstrong character!! She don't gaf ab what anyone thinks when she KNOWS she's in the right (and even when she's wrong she'll still put up a fight lmfao)

Unfortunately for you (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it 🤷‍♀️), she LOVES going out of her way to be deliberately infuriating too, making sure you're watching her all the while

You're glad that Seele and Bronya are enjoying themselves. Really, you are! Having Belobog united again proved to be a good decision, and having them spearhead the tides of change turned out to be more than beneficial.

..But for some reason, today just seemed off. You don't know why, but you felt irritated.

Maybe it was what you ate this morning, maybe it was something that happened yesterday.. or maybe it was how Seele behaved.

You accompanied her to help with the efforts to unify all of Belobog once again, but ypu feel yourself regretting it when you see how.. business seems to be conducted.

It started off as small touches here and there; the Wildfire member giving Belobog's brand new Guardian a pat on the back, or a touch on her shoulder to grab her attention when the latter was focused on the paperwork in front of her. But then it progressed—Seele leaning into Bronya's back to read something that caught her attention, holding her hand when it isn't really necessary...

Of course body contact isn't really rare between the two—they formed some kind of bond when Bronya was stuck in the Underground—but there was just something extra annoying to how your girlfriend had haphazardly draped herself on the Silvermane Commander's body.

You did feel bad for feeling this way, especially when Bronya was involved because the poor girl did nothing wrong! But when you see the Underworlder smirk right at you as she went to hug the new Guardian for a problem now solved?

It was really hard not to get annoyed.

What's worse is that it seems that Seele knew that well.

You try to drag her away for a little "break" and she fully denies ANYTHING she's done

"You know," she says with a smug grin, "if you're going to try and help, then you should probably start by analysing what we do less and helping us with the work more."

You crossed your arms, "Don't know if you've noticed, but I have been doing it. Oh, but you were practically all over Bronya, so it's no surprise you didn't notice a thing."

She shrugged, "I've just been showing my appreciation for her efforts. Being the Supreme Guardian seems like a hassle, so."

While you do agree, you can't help but feel your blood boil a little at the smug look on her face.

She knew what she was doing.

And you can't have that.

You don't drag her back home immediately, no. You did still have a job to do, and it'd be rude to leave Bronya alone last minute!!! But when you were basically allowed to go, you drag her back IMMEDIATELY. She's gonna be complaining all the while, and even if you snap at her and tell her to behave she won't. It's like she WANTS to be punished (she does 🤷‍♀️)

And when you do get home? Ohhh you need to take action right that very second bc she'd STILL a huge loudmouth, she won't shut her gob about how you're 'overreacting' or something........so you may as well use that mouth for something

Instead of snapping at her, snap your hips to her mouth 🥰 let that dick fill her mouth up, give her something else to do aside from constantly talk shit and essentially dig her grave even more than necessary!!! Don't hold back either, cuz if you do then she's gonna taunt you. "'s that the best you've got? Please," she'd go. Make her work on you before absolutely ABUSING her face, make her gag and forget whatever retort she had ready. Oh, she wanted you to be rougher?? She better not come crying to you by the time you're done 🫶

You pull out of her after a bit but you're not done. Oh NOnonono absolutely not lol you turn her around and push her down so she's on all fours with her back facing you. You have to punish her thoroughly, you can't just leave it half-assed!!! Slap her ass hard, do NOT hold anything back this bitch is gonna keep whining you like a little brat otherwise. You need to discipline her properly, so keep abusing her backside until it's all red and her eyes are glazing over

Oh, but what's this???? Despite the fact that she's yelping and screaming from every hit you inflict on her, when you palm her cunt you realise that she's soaking wet down there, and she only gets wetter the more you spank her. Is your poor little baby actually getting off on this?? Actually pathetic lol

Just like everything else in your session, fuck her fast and HARD. Absolutely abuse her hole down here just like you did her other one until she can't even form fucking words anymore. Don't stop spanking her either!!! So much would be happening at once and her tiny little brain won't be able to handle it, turning into mush as you fuck her sooooo dumb

The pace you went at was absolutely relentless, only ever stopping when you felt tired, not if she needed a break. And why would you ever ask her if she needed a break? Even as she kept begging you to stop because it feels too much, she can't think anymore, why would you ever consider actually thinking about her? If she really wanted you fo stop, you both know that the safeword is right there.

Plus with the way Seele looks right now—mouth agape as drool trailed down her chin, eyes rolled back, slick coating your cock and her thighs—you don't really think she wants to stop. Quite the opposite, actually.

"Is this.. what you wanted the entire time?" You grunted as you pulled her neckerchief up to get her closer to you and maybe cut off her breathing, but when you feel her buck against you with moan, you find that she isn't complaining in the least. Your force never falters as you spoke, "Me having my way.. with you.. and reminding you where you belong?"

You hadn't really expected an answer from her in this state, not like you cared when you were more concerned about essentially reducing her into nothing but your pretty little fleshlight, but you see her nod shakily.

When she hums out in agreement, it comes out as more of a whine when your tip hits that particular spot inside her, "Y-- Yeeeesss..! Fuuuck, I've been sss-- such a bad girl-- ohfuckfuckFUCK right thereee... I'll do whate-- whatever you want just pleasepleasepleaseeee don't stop I'm almost--"

You rolled her eyes, "If you wanted attention, all you had to do was say so.. but if you love this so much then what's stopping me from just--" you let go of her neckerchief and slipped yourself out while your palm hits her stinging skin particularly hard, "--taking it all away from you?"

There, she lets out the biggest fucking whine as she drops before she screams out, her legs quivering and her pussy fluttering around nothing. Her cum gushes out of her, wetting the surface underneath you, as her body shook at the force of her orgasm.

"I didn't give you permission to cum, baby."

"'m.. s-sorryyy... Please don't be mad, I--"

"'Sorry' this, 'please' that, you get the opportunity to be a dumb brat and you take it happily but the moment it's something you want, you try to be a good girl." You turn her around so that she's facing you and you hit her inner thigh with a glare, to which she sobs so pathetically, "You're being selfish, Seele. I think I need to break you in again, make you remember how you behave."

Her breath hitches and she looks at you with such wide and teary eyes, but you know with the way her pupils are blown wide that she more than wants this.

By the time you're near finished, you COULD actually have her cum on your terms.....OR you could absolutely deny her of that privilege because really, why would you ever reward her for being a little shit????

Pull out of her when she hits her peak and make her suck your cock as you put a vibrator in her pussy in the lowest possible fucking setting. She's gonna whine and plead you to help her finish but don't help her 🤷‍♀️ tell her to leave it in until tomorrow's day ends. If she doesn't act like a whore like she did today then you'll reward her greatly!!!! But if not? Then you'll be doing this all over again, having the vibe in her and stimulating her in public until she learns to behave

That's what she wanted after all—to be punished appropriately

She acts like she's against it too, but if she was then she would've made it genuinely known and she could take it out herself.....but when you see her put her clothes on the next day with the toy peeking out before she coves it up with her panties, well. Doesn't seem like she really hates it after all 🫶

[eyecan02]

Charlie's Relationships Analysis

Charlie gives me the impression of someone that is at a place in her life where "she's really into her career." Because of that, narratively, it doesn't make sense for Charlie to be in a relationship with anyone at this point in the story.

I understand that Viv is trying to give Charlie the "Barbie" treatment- the beautiful blonde who has it all. She's a princess, she has a business, a loving father, friends and a supportive girlfriend. The only problem is that Charlie's career seemingly comes first and her relationship feels more like an after thought.

On top of that, the co-dependency feels so unhealthy. I was so alarmed when Vaggie said, "What good am I to you if I can't make your dream come true?" This question encapsulates Vaggie's character.

Vaggie wants to be Charlie's night in shining armor but Charlie has told her "I can take care of myself." She appreciates the support, and it must feel comforting to have someone to cuddle with and be intimate with after a long day. But I'll say it again, Charlie just isn't emotionally/in the right head space to be in a serious relationship right now.

Vaggie really believes her only purpose for existing is to make Charlie happy and that's so unhealthy for them. Viv said this about Chaggie, "It didn't feel like I wanted to spend time doing the 'will they won't they' thing. Or them getting together or just them being together. It just didn't really make sense."

"Didn't want to spend time..." So in the other words...she didn't want to put in the effort to give Chaggie a more fleshed out relationship the way they deserved. It doesn't make sense because they're literally the main couple, and Vaggie plays the important role of one of the managers.

But it sounds like Viv is focusing more on the representation rather than the chemistry. It's the angel and demon romance trope. It had so much potential. Before season one dropped, I thought I was gonna be multishipping Huskerdust, Charlastor and Chaggie. I wanted Viv to prove me wrong and show everyone that they actually are an interesting couple.

The "sexy" scene she has planned for them sounds so forced and shoe horned in and feels like she's just saying "Here's a horny Chaggie song. See? They have chemistry." Chaggie had potential but there's literally little to no chemistry there unfortunately. Story wise, they just don't make sense.

As for Charlie's relationship with Alastor, I find it interesting the way they mirror each other. She's a business woman and Alastor is a business man of sorts. Think of the way they changed her pilot outfit to match Alastor more- the hot pink is almost a dark red, they both have bow ties and they both even have shoulder pads. Sometimes they say couples/partners start to "resemble" each other the longer they remain in close proximity to each other.

Speaking of close proximity, Charlastor really sped run their relationship and moved in together after one day. Alastor didn't necessarily have to move in to help Charlie. He could've gotten a house close by. Instead, his radio tower is at the same level as her room and for the new and improved hotel, they're literally staying on the same floor together once more.

The decision to live together was probably made in order to be more accessible to Charlie. It doesn't matter why Alastor has to be at the hotel, the point is he's there because for some reason he has to make her happy (I made a separate analysis for this involving Al's microphone staff).

Keeping Charlie happy also means doing things he's not particularly fond of. There's other ways to advertise but he chose to use technology and went out of his way to film a commercial all for Charlie. As he said, he would've preffered to advertise through radio but she "insisted" on a TV ad so since that's what she wanted, he didn't make too big of a fuss about it.

Al honestly sounds like Charlie's husband. The husband does his best to please his wife and sometimes does things he doesn't like just to please his wife.

On top of working with technology, Al chose to team up with Vaggie for another commercial, he played along with Charlie's forgiveness game and "forgave" Pen for ruining his coat and allowed Pen to stay there even after the betrayal. All this to make himself look good in front of Charlie.

When things seemed desperate and even out of Alastor's power, he picked a fight with Charlie's (popular theory) dad in order to push them together so that she could get that meeting with heaven. Even when it seems Alastor can't directly help Charlie, he finds other ways to help her from the shadows.

And when Alastor DOES have the right connections to help Charlie, he really delivers and goes all out after a bit of teasing. He shows her how to use a smile as a power move so that she feels more in control. That's what Charlie wants- to be more in control and confident.

Alastor just always seems to know Charlie's wants and needs. He seems to know her better than she knows herself. Storywise it's giving twin flames. Think of their love of song and dance. They both have very high opinions of each other.

Charlie has a clear praise kink that seems to ONLY come out around our favorite deer man. Alastor would rather draw 20 cards while playing Uno than stop touching Charlie. He finds her charming and fun and she finds him dependable and encouraging, which is the kind of support she truly needs right now in the story.

I understand that Vaggie is meant to "ground" Charlie, but Charlie isn't a character that's meant to be tamed. She's easily excited and she's a dreamer just like her dad. She's also insecure and doesn't have much confidence in herself. But Alastor helps boost Charlie's confidence, and let's her thrive by letting her just be herself.

He told Rosie, "Surprised? I knew she could do it all along." Vaggie knew Charlie for three years and Alastor only knew Charlie for five months when he said that line to Rosie. Yet, he believes in Charlie so much. No matter what lies behind Alastor's original intentions for being at the hotel, the fact is that he is fond of Charlie and they have undeniable chemistry.

In my eyes, their contract is sort of like a marriage because it binds them together until Alastor cashes in on the favor. Depending on what the favor is, the favor might bind her even more to him. "She's filled with potential I could guide." That line sounds like he wants Charlie in his life long term.

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

Part 30

"There she is," Cillian said one Zoe answered his facetime. He chuckled at her appearance. "Everything okay?"

Zoe's hair was in a messy bun atop her head, with fly-aways sticking out every which way. She had an old gray college t-shirt with the arms cut off, and a pair of workout shorts. She was sweating profusely and face was red.

"I'm over here making this house a home!" She said, right before Scout started barking. "Scout, stop!"

"Everything okay?" Cillian said, eyebrow raised. Scout was usually very well behaved, and never gave him a problem. Sure, when he was a puppy he got into things out of sheer curiosity, but never bit, never barked, never attacked, just a good, good boy.

"Well, your neighbors have dogs that are out for walks 3 times a day. I took Scout out and met one of them, I tried to be friendly and make conversation, but then realized it wasn't the home owner or the dog owner; it was the assistant to the owner. Then asked who I worked for as if I was an assistant," Zoe mumbed.

Cillian laughed. "I'm sorry Bunny. I hope you're not offended."

"I'm not, but it was the second time that happened today."

"What you mean?"

"When I signed for the couch, I asked how I should sign since the signature line had your name. He said I can sign my name because he 'deals with assistants all the time'. I guess I give off assistant energy instead of girlfriend energy"

"Fuck that. You're not a Hannah that's for damn sure."

you got that right.

Before Zoe could respond to that comment, Cillian spoke first.

"Show me what got delivered today."

Zoe flipped the camera around and showed the couch, end tables and coffee table that were assembled and arranged in the living rom. The TV was mounted over the fireplace and the rug was rolled out on the floor, ends still curling up because it was still so new.

"Cable and internet is coming later this afternoon, I'm starting to unpack the kitchen. Do you care where plates and cups go? Any cabinet preference?"

"Uh, no, no preference," Cillian chuckled. "Thanks babe. I owe you. I don't know what I would of done without you."

"You don't owe me, it's fine."

"Well I appreciate your help. I was stressed when all this was sprung upon me. the divorce came fast, the house came fast, then I had to up and leave for work," Cillian sighed, running his hand through his short hair.

"I'm here to make your life easier," Zoe smiled.

"What can I do to make your life easier?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

Cillian smiled. There was about 10 seconds of silence, Zoe thought Cillian was frozen.

"Hello?" Zoe said, wondering if he had a bad connection.

"Why do you do that?" Cillian finally spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"Deflect. Avoid talking about hard things. Or anything ,actually, that's on your mind. You love to make sure i'm okay, pick apart my brain, find out what makes me tick and make everything okay in my head, but you don't let anyone in. You don't talk about anything that's bothering you."

"It's easier helping other people, and besides I don't need help, I got it."

"I got it" Cillian mimicked, raising his voice an octave or two to sound like her. "You know we're a partnership, right? If you want to help me, I gotta help you. This isn't gonna work if you keep closing me off-"

"Woah, take it easy" Zoe interrupted. "Where is this coming from?"

Cillian sighed. "I want to do this right. but I can't do it without you putting in an effort too. I try to talk to you about serious stuff and you're quick to shut me down. Especially with me being over here, I want to do everything in my power to make this as easy as possible and you keep just saying 'it's fine, it's fine' and I feel like it's all falling on me, or you just don't care. It almost feels isolating because am I going crazy, is this not what it seems, am I -"

"Cillian, you're spiraling." Zoe interrupted. "Jesus. I thought you were just calling to see the couches."

Cillian sighed. "See, you think i'm calling because I just want to see the couches. I'm calling because I want to talk to you. Because I miss you. Because I wish I could jump through the phone and be with you. Fuck the couches."

Zoe plopped down on the said couch in defeat. "Okay," she said. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm new to all of this."

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to jump down your throat. I'm just tired, jet lagged, I hate my hair, I feel helpless with all you're doing at home, I want to come home" Cillian rattled off.

"How can I make this easier for you?" Zoe said.

"I just..." Cillian started. "I really want this to work. Me and you."

Zoe smiled. "You and me, remember?"

"How do you feel about us and me being here?"

"Wow, this is deep for 2pm," Zoe said, well aware she was, once again, deflecting.

"Yea well, it's 10pm here, and I'm on edge, my anxiety is through the roof, so we're doing this now."

"Okay, okay.... How do I feel about us and you being there....." Zoe started.

Cillian had a point. Zoe always avoided hard conversations. There have been plenty of times in the past where she spilled her heart out to a guy, and the guy either laughed at her or didn't take her seriously. Years and years of getting hurt will make you closed off. For a long time, she felt it was better off this way. Who could hurt her if she didn't let anyone close enough to? Her mother, maybe. But she moved to the other side of the coast to avoid that.

But Cillian... was different.

"I love every moment with you. I find myself missing you the second you leave, so you being over there so far for so long has me scared."

Cillian smiled, happy she opened up a teeny bit. He could work with this.

"Scared? Of what?"

"That you'll slowly forget about me. Out of sight, out of mind. You're surrounded by beautiful women, it's easy to get distracted, I'm easily forgotten-"

"Zoe," Cillian warned. She was doing it again, putting herself down.

"Sorry. I'm just... you know that saying, 'out of sight, out of mind?' It's true. In my mind, I already prepared how this could go if it goes south. We talk every day for the first couple of days, then its every other day, then it's once a week, then it just... fizzles out."

"Well," Cillian started. "You're never out of my mind, so get that out of your head. So you're worried communication will die down between us, and that's what will end us?"

"It happens," Zoe shrugged. "I'm never really a priority in relationships, and even if I am, it doesn't last long."

"What if I have Hannah send over my shooting schedule to you every week, and then we can arrange facetimes every day? That way it's a set time and it's not left for you to wonder when i'll be free. And, of course, regular texts in between."

Zoe smiled. "That would help. I'm sure Hannah will be thrilled"

"I don't care about her," Cillian replied. "I care about us. I care about YOU. I need you to believe me and trust me that you are my priority, and that when all this is done, I'm coming home to YOU. Do you understand?"

Zoe's heart skipped a beat. Something about the way Cillian was talking, she believed him. She was scared to open herself up again, she was scared to trust him, but ....

"Okay," Zoe smiled. "I believe you. I trust you. I miss you. I want this to work as much as you do. I'm sorry that I don't show that enough."

Cillian smiled. "You show me in different ways. You may not say it, but when you were triple checking my packing list on the day I left, or the way you buy me that special brand tea that you can only get on the side of town to keep a box at your apartment for when I'm there, or always making sure I have pickle juice out when you pop popcorn because you know I like to pour it on top... You may not always say I love you, but you say it in different ways."

"That pickle and popcorn shit is disgusting." Zoe said, monotone.

"Don't knock it till you try it."

Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Okay, I'll have Hannah send over the schedule tomorrow morning. I think I'm done filming at 8pm tomorrow, so noon your time. I'll confirm."

"Okay."

"I need to get some sleep. I love you, Zoe. Me and you."

"You and me. I love you too."

They hung up and Zoe sighed.

She was nervous, but felt relieved. This could work. She loved him, she wants to try for HIM. For the sake of their relationship. It's time Zoe was happy for once.

She was about to close her eyes when the doorbell rang. The cable and internet people were here early. Scout went crazy over the doorbell, and Zoe groaned.

"Back to work."

______________________________________________________________

Halfway across the world, Cillian groaned as his alarm went off at 7am.

It was the first day of shooting, and Cillian wasn't feeling his best.

He was slightly irritated, if he would of known he was starting to film so early he would of flown out earlier to adjust to the jet lag. Everything now felt rushed and he was groggy and tired.

He opened his phone and shot a quick text to Zoe, letting her know he was awake and showering and he would text her when he got to set and when he was putting his phone away.

He jumped in the shower, making the water colder than normal, hoping it would help wake him up. Once he got out, he got dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, and as he was brushing his teeth there was a knock on the door.

"Good morning!" Hannah said cheerily, walking into the room. "I have your tea here, and your wardrobe for the day will be in the trailer on set. Are you ready to go?"

Cillian, although annoyed to see Hannah and her bubbly spirit so early in the morning, was thankful for the tea.

Cillian went back to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, then grabbed the tea and took a sip.

"Thank you," He said.

"Anytime, I suggest we head out. I have your schedule here-"

"Oh, hey, I have a job for you if you don't mind."

"Of course!"

"Every week, email the shooting schedule to Zoe."

"Why?" Hannah said, her voice no longer bubbly.

"Because we're figuring out times to talk to each other and squeeze video calls in, so I want her to have a copy of the schedule. I know you have her email, can you just do that for me, please?" Cillian asked nicely. He was not in the mood for an argument right now.

Hannah wanted to scream. But, she painted a smile on her face. "Sure. no problem. I'll get right on that," She replied, the last part sounding a little too sarcastic for her liking. It was 100000% sarcasm to her, but she couldn't let Cillian know that.

Her phone buzzed, interrupting her train of thought. "Driver is outside. Ready?"

Cillian slipped on his shoes and jacket and they both made their way downstairs, into the waiting car.

Once they arrived on set, Cillian headed to his trailer where he was met with the hair stylist, having to trim his sides since his hair started to grow back.

Once the hair was done and he was in his required wardrobe for the day, he headed out to the first scene. Halfway there, he stopped short.

"Shit, I still have my phone," He mumbled. He was already running a little behind schedule, and the thought of having to walk back to the trailer stressed him out.

"I can hold onto it for you" Hannah said, smiling. "I know it's no phones allowed and I see you more than you getting to go back to your trailer, I can just hold it for you."

"Yea? You don't mind?"

Hannah smiled. "Of course not."

"Thanks, Hannah," Cillian said. "You're a lifesaver. Don't forget that schedule to Zoe, please?"

"Don't you worry Cill," Hannah said, watching him walk to set. "I'll take care of everything," She looked down at the phone, praying he didn't a passcode on it.

He did. Shit.

She tried his birthday. It didn't work. She tried just his year, didn't work. She had to be careful, she knew if she entered too many incorrect passwords the phone would lock her out. What else could there be?

"hmmm...there's no way...." Hannah said to herself, trying the simplest combination: 11111.

phone unlocked.

Hannah smiled. "Men" She scoffed.

She now had access to Cillian's calendar, phone calls, emails... and text messages.

"Don't worry, Cillian," Hannah said out loud, hovering over Zoe's contact, containing her phone number and email address. "I'll get .. some sort... of schedule over to Zoe. Don't you worry."

tags: @lau219 @borntodiemp3 @cillianmurphyvevo @shopgirl6us

[lynpheas]

vy my beloved big brained winx mutual you simply must ramble about the platonic winx/specialists dynamics i'm actually begging you </3 aldhgl

like,, which ones are your favorite and why! which ones do you want to see more of in canon! which ones are you definitely sure would be great but have zero canon evidence for (tecna helia dynamics my beloved ueghhhh)

THANK YOU FOR ASKING! YOU WILL RECEIVE!

i'm a huge huge huge sucker for platonic friendships and i think the biggest personal attack winx club canon has made on ME, vy lynpheas, is that they never really develop... platonic winx and specialist relationships ☹️ i haven't seen s1-3 in a long while but i just rewatched s4 and i'm wracking my brain trying to remember any platonic interactions between the winx and their non-boyfriend specialists. & i got nothing. when there was a 30 second interaction in s5 between sky and flora right before sky got amnesia, my 12 year old self thought about it for months i swear 😭

so i'm just gonna throw out a bunch of fun random pairings i like and how i think their friendship would work because my basic assumption is that EVERYONE is friends with EVERYONE because i want them to be!!!

(also i wrote most of this in oct 2023 and forgot about it but if anyone wants to ask me abt any more platonic pairings i would be so so so down 😭😭)

tecna & riven

okay this dynamic i have a lot of fun thinking about just bc tecna is musa's roommate so she deals with riven on a diff level than the other girls

i think esp early tecna would tend to make snap judgments of people & she immediately thinks riven is like. rude and immature and so everything he does after that point is framed through that lens. & i think riven is primarily motivated by his emotions (at least in terms of his interpersonal relationships) and tecna who is more "logic" based so she doesn't really understand why he acts the way he does. (i put logic in quotes because i do think tecna is biased toward her feelings when it comes to interpersonal relationships, but she sorta confirmation biases herself into thinking her judgment is more factual) & so i think their relationship begins as being vaguely antagonistic/indifferent (ie tecna making snarky comments to the side and riven being like. offended but kinda writing it off by acting like he just doesn't care about tecna), especially because she doesn't see why musa would like such a jerk and thinks musa deserves better.

then i think because of proximity and just facing a lot of mortally perilous conflict together, tecna begins to respect/sympathize with riven a lot more as a strategist because riven is actually like. pretty contemplative about his next moves, and she sees how his abrasive personality obfuscates that and leads to the specialist squad initially just. bulldozing over his ideas bc they're like "oh riven's just an asshole all the time let's go with sky's plan." and i think riven begins to really appreciate and respect tecna's tactical skills but also be slightly envious of how the winx do rely on tecna and trust her judgment. and he tries to learn from her approach: more levelheaded suggestions rather than condescending/combative remarks to express his ideas.

& i think riven's really good friends with timmy (they might be roommates in s1? i don't know if i made that up tho) so when tecna starts showing up more often & he can tell she's very important to timmy, riven makes an effort to be less rude and standoffish toward her, although still awkward. i think this is what especially shatters tecna's preconceptions about riven bc besides her relationship with timmy, he doesn't have any real reason to make nice with her -- especially after she's been pretty rude to him about him and musa.

and then they become pretty decent friends! maybe not super emotionally intimate, but they like, advocate for each other. tecna really utilizes riven's skillsets in her plans and makes sure he isn't overlooked & riven gets more protective over tecna bc he's like. this girl is smart and capable. and even when they don't always see eye-to-eye, she's very kind in her own non-traditional way.

musa & timmy

between riven and tecna, musa sees a Lot of timmy. i think as riven and tecna stop being as icy with one another, the four of them hang out as a group a lot. musa can kinda be the odd one out at times, because tecna and timmy can technobabble together a lot but if they veer into. hovercrafts or battle strategy riven and tecna can get Really into it with each other bc they agree on enough to not argue but have enough strong contrasting opinions to have very spirited conversations. so musa can kinda sit back and watch as timmy gets ousted from the convo and they have solidarity in that LMAO

they're both very chill and timmy is just. super curious about all of musa's hobbies and interests bc he doesn't know Anything abt music or anything. & i feel like timmy is an edm/techno/trap kinda guy & i hc that musa freelance djs at clubs and parties. so timmy is like fascinated by the mechanics of all of that and musa loves talking about music in any capacity so they reach common ground through that. and in turn musa gets interested in like, hovercraft mechanic convos and videogame lore that also helps musa better connect with riven and tecna!!

& i think these conversations evolve into. timmy tagging along with musa to raves LOL like they party it UP together!!! like timmy is pretty self-conscious and awkward at first, but musa really shows him that dancing/enjoying music isn't about how you look or acting cool -- it's just about having fun. and it really brings him out of his shell. timmy's got his white boy dance moves!!! riven goes to musa's shows sometimes but edm gives him a headache and most of the girls like to party but they're not into the subculture at all so they're not consistent participants. but timmy is a yes-man! he always wants to come!

& timmy and musa get fairly close because of this! timmy is such a huge hype man and occasional technician for musa and musa knows she can always rely on timmy to show up for her! and they just learn a lot from each other!

plus because they're both close with the other's respective partners, they like to go to the other for relationship advice because they'll get some unique insight into the problems they're facing. timmy is a huge riven-is-just-misunderstood advocate and musa knows tecna's ins and outs.

musa & timmy besties agenda <3 like i really really just love the idea of their friendship

aisha & riven

this is the only non-romantically involved winx/specialist combo i had actual recollection of interacting before i did my rewatch tbh. or i guess also riven and bloom. riven is just a very notable character LMFAO

anyways, aisha is hyper-independent and riven is prickly and easy to misjudge so. aisha doesn't fuck with him very much at first BUT when she comes into the winx's life she didn't firsthand experience riven double-crossing them w the trix. so she's an asshole to him for like. "i think you're kind of a loser and i don't like men that much in general" reasons instead of "you have personally wronged me" reasons. she challenges him to petty stuff because she likes poking the bear and she finds it kind of entertaining to see him get annoyed and want to prove himself for the sake of his ego, but eventually she just starts genuinely thinking that riven's a pretty decent guy. like, he never tries to undermine her for her skills, he just wants to match and surpass her. and he simultaneously respects her authority but also respects her enough to disagree with her and involve her in certain decisions, where she's used to having to put her foot down to assert herself.

at first riven really just. does not care that there's a new winx girl bc besides musa and maybe bloom they're all kinda the same to him. but then aisha is just kinda mean to him and temporarily hogs his hoverbike so he starts actively disliking her but underneath it all begrudgingly respects her. THEN he finds out she and musa are getting really close and she's actually a princess and he sees her put sky in his place over smth that wouldve irritated the fuck out of riven privately -- and he just starts to really like and respect her.

at first, aisha just likes to aggravate riven bc she initially thinks he's kind of standoffish and takes himself too seriously. so they'll be walking with the group and she'll all of a sudden be like "bet i can reach that tree faster than you" and riven's like "what are you talking about" "so you know you're gonna lose?" "uh, fuck no, you're on" and suddenly they're sprinting past everyone else and leaving them in the dust. but aisha tends to win these little competitions and eventually after she starts genuinely liking riven, she gets bored of trying to get a rise out of him. but riven still thinks she's cool asf and wants her to realize that he's actually Not A Loser so he's the one that ends up instigating more often.

their friendship is mostly characterized by them just. egging each other on. bet you can't do more hoverboard tricks than me. bet you can't do a backflip on the spot. bet you can't tell musa you haven't listened to her mixtape yet. bet you can't let stella give you a makeover. bet you can't swing from that vine across that canyon. holy shit riven ur lucky i have wings otherwise you would've died. nah i knew i could trust you.

like honestly riven is basically just aisha and tecna's kid brother. with aisha specifically he just rly wants to prove himself to her lmfao. little does he know, aisha already thinks he's cool but she will never ever ever tell him that.

stella & sky

so canonically stella has probably never met sky before red fountain in order to be able to pull off the whole name-switch situation, but i think it'd be fun if they had at least some awareness of each other before going to school from being the royals of their respective realms. like you can't tell me they've never attended the princess balls of some realm that's mutually allied with eraklyon and solaria! if anything, as his squire, brandon and sky must've always attended events together and been so close/tight-knit that a lot of people weren't exactly sure who was who, just that the duo themselves were sky and his squire. (because sky also barely looks like his parents lmfao)

i like to think that stella is extremely put off by sky for multiple reasons, including that he ultimately fucked up her relationship and completely broke bloom's trust. and pettily she sorta vows to make sure solaria and eraklyon never have good relations ever again. sky's like. well, can't let that happen + i need to be on stella's good side for the sake of brandon/bloom

and i think this results in him just like !! slowly trying to initiate a relationship with stella, like if he agrees with her about something he'll go out of his way to make it known he agrees with her. and just making comments and stuff to get on her good side

and stella sees right thru this lmfao she's like ok... i see your game... and i don't respect it... but she fully just leans into it and if sky is saying some kind of affirmative to an outrageous idea she has she's just like ok bet. put your money where your mouth is

which is how sky ends up in a lot of ridiculous situations because of stella like maybe during a mission stella suggests going down a path everyone else is hesitant about, and sky is also hesitant but he doesn't necessarily DISagree with her so he loudly corroborates her plan and then. it's just the two of them who get sent down that path and then get fucking eaten by a venus flytrap monster or smth idk. or sky ends up being stella's mannequin for like 12 hours straight while she figures out draping. or he ends up accompanying her to a stuffy ball where everyone around her is condescending her

and then eventually they'll just have more and more moments where they're spending time together like one on one and theyre like???? hey we actually do have a lot in common because of our upbringings and we can give each other diff perspectives about how to deal with the expectations that were imposed on us growing up

like stella has reacted to being in the spotlight as a princess by being aggressively and unapologetically herself. shes not afraid of fucking up but shes like inifinitely empathetic and kindhearted. sky is kinda the opposite where he's always tried to mold himself into expectations and really lean into this idea of being a leader-prince charming type guy. and basically they teach each other how to Be A Royal in a way that allows them to be their truest selves. like sky helps stella figure out how to use Royalty Etiquette and Rules to get her way and stella helps sky figure out how to let loose and not be so bogged down by duty all the time

[mikkomacko]

i know i'm a late one for this and i'm sorry if this turns out long but you deserve all the love and appreciation for the mob boss series!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ i finally found the time to finish it all and thank you so much for putting it out there, plotting the ideas and just giving us your time i guess writing and sharing ❤️❤️❤️❤️ you kept me glued to the screen, this idea it's 🥹🥹🥹 how you write reader and nico "I'd burn down every inch of Europe to the ground to keep you safe", "being so fucking in love he feels like he could die" 😭 and the part where she asks him if he'd let her leave and their heart to heart turned me into mush ❤️ and timo and his girl "it's not really a sacrifice if what you're getting is far better in the end" like mush again ❤️ (and where is my best friend timo? 😭) someone wrote it before but i will say it again too part 8 with reader explaing him that he deserves all the love, "like it makes you feel like your heart is going to explode"!!!!!! "you don't need to worry about anyone breaking my heart, it belongs to you"!!!!! "that's what we do, we protect each other"!!! ❤️ and pls never stop describing his lashes ☝🏻❤️ in general how you describe him, all the details, the appreciation it's gold 🥹 ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING 😭❤️ and fuck the car scence oh my oh my oh my "we're going inside and you're gonna be the sweetest girl i know" 🤝🏻❤️ And "their kids" ❤️, the dynamics between everyone, their families i'm down for all of this forever 🥹 thank you again for all of this!!!!! and have a lovely day or night wherever you are 🫶🏻

I kid you not this almost made me cry (on my period sue me 🤪)

I love that quotes and effort that went into this omg I’m gonna have to go read me own chapters because I don’t remember writing half these lines

It makes me so happy that you remembered them and wrote them down. Feel free to share a sparks notes version of the fic lol I might need it with how long I’m stretching this universe out

And you never have to thank me for writing, I’m just so so so happy that you read it and enjoyed it. Thank you so much for that and for taking the time to message me 🫶🫶

Literally love you so much (almost as much as I love Nico’s eyelashes)

I’ll never stop waxing poetics about his eyes and his smile ong

[muthaz-rapapa]

Otona Precure '23: The Sequel We ACTUALLY Deserve

Let's not mince words.

Otona Precure wasn't just fantastic, it puts every reboot or sequel of an established series to shame.

Because yea, it's primarily aimed at an older audience alright but the issues and the themes discussed in the story are relatable and relevant to everyone's interests, regardless of age.

That reality is much harsher than we think it is, more than we can comprehend. That the world will never be perfect like we want it to be.

But also that, because we're on this planet right now at this very moment, we can't just sit around and resign ourselves to not do anything as situations continue to worsen.

Pollution, climate change, toxic society, war.

The show did not shy away from addressing these topics but what's even more notable is it pointing out that people, humans, are the source of them all.

And I appreciate the honesty of that statement because yes, frankly, we are the problem.

People are selfish. We indulge too much in ourselves, our own egos, that we are blinded to the welfare of others. We are also lazy and discriminating and even those who say we'd like things to be better often give up too easily because searching for a solution is too hard and daunting.

Mankind is the shittiest species to walk upon this earth and no one's gonna argue on that.

But does that make everyone inherently bad though?

No, of course not.

We're flawed beings but we're also capable of learning. We're capable of understanding and compassion. There are many among us who do try our best to make this world a kinder and more beautiful place to live in.

But as the finale shows, it cannot only be these few people (like Precure) to do all the hauling and pushing. Everybody has to pitch in. Everybody has to contribute for a better world to be possible.

And that doesn't mean tackling a conflict that's a lot bigger than you can handle. That doesn't mean you have to go at it all alone.

It means that you have to change the way you are, change the way you do things to get the ball rolling. Only by changing yourself first that you can begin to change your surroundings, not the other way around.

It's only through the collective effort of everyone wanting to change for the better that we can protect what we love and create the future that we envision.

Precure is meant to inspire that will to act which is best exemplified in Nozomi. Cure Dream, the Precure of Hope.

Nozomi stands out among the many lead Cures we've had over the years in the quality of leadership she displays as the head of her own team.

She is not the brightest nor sharpest person in any group but damn, does that girl woman never give up.

Not even when she pushes herself to the brink that she falls unconscious from fatigue several times did she ever consider the thought of giving up.

And that's exactly what makes her such a strong and effective leader.

It's not because she's been put into that position so she's only functioning as one.

It's because she inspires everyone around her to become the leaders of their own lives which would then repeatedly bring about the butterfly effect in people beyond their own circle.

Additionally, we must applaud at how well the themes of adulthood and personal struggle have been explored. Look at the girls! Look at how much they've grown, how much they've progressed from the time they were still just middle schoolers dreaming of what they want to be in the future.

(GODDAMNIT, MILK BECAME THE PRIME MINISTER OF HER HOME COUNTRY, I'M STILL NOT OVER THAT AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!)

They've accomplished so much and you can't help but be incredibly proud of how far they've come on their individual journeys.

But now that they're adults, they also realize just how difficult it is to keep the optimism they had when they were kids. Things don't always go the way you want them to. Real life is stressful and exhausting and the accumulation of all those negative feelings of helplessness is enough to send anyone into depression.

As an adult, you're constantly asking yourself "is it really worth it?" because you don't want to betray the hopes you had as a child but sometimes, it's just too hard that all you want to do is give up.

...and that's okay if you need to for a while.

Take a break, go talk to someone you can trust if you feel you've really hit rock bottom.

Find a secure, safe space to cry it all out if you have to.

It's okay to not be okay all the time.

Because that's pretty much what adulthood is.

Being an adult is not about doing everything but knowing you can't do everything and telling yourself that's okay. Because you're already doing everything you can. Your best is good enough.

It's good enough for one person. Nobody's asking you to save the world or become a magical girl to fight off monsters or resolve a major crisis with a miracle answer.

You just need to do your part of the whole in the best way you can. That's all.

And I believe Bell knows that as well.

She knows that just because today's worst was averted, it doesn't mean we're out of the doom radar yet. Because she's right. Humans still can't be trusted as proven by that after-credits scene. There are still plenty of jerks out there who don't give a damn about how much harm they're adding to the world.

But she also knows that as long as there is someone like Precure to do their part, to yell at those jerks to pick up their trash, then maybe, maybe, not all hope is lost just yet.

And so she leaves with the words "I'll be waiting for you in the future", hoping that what the Cures have taught her to believe won't betray her when that time comes.

That said, for us longtime fans of the series, Otona Precure is also a love letter.

A project of appreciation to us for the past 20 years of love and support we've given this franchise.

And I'd say we got what we wanted because before the announcement of this spin-off, I didn't think Toei would ever care to redeem Yes! 5 Precure on how badly it performed during its two seasons run.

Yet here we are and even 100 times better than the original.

They cut out all the fillers which was the primary flaw of those two seasons and focused entirely on the characters. The girls and the expansion of their story arcs. The stuff we actually want to see.

Moreover, the writers did a very great job of showing how everyone has matured. For example, Rin and Karen outgrew their bickering and even the uncalled for vitriol that Kurumi always directed at Nozomi is nowhere to be found.

Seriously! I laughed so hard when Kurumi switched the target of her criticism from Nozomi to Coco. I don't think we've ever seen her this concerned and sympathetic towards Nozomi to the point that she didn't even hesitate to yell at her superior to "cut it with your responsibilities crap and go comfort your lonely girlfriend, you idiot king!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Everyone is just incredibly supportive of each other and that's so heartwarming.

I also personally loved how they dealt with Komachi's episode, which introduced a sort of sub-theme of one's love for their hometown.

Komachi has always aspired to become a writer and it would've been fine to go down the route of getting her out of her slump.

But having Komachi put in effort for her community, learn about the history of her town, and becoming determined to defend it after her strengthened appreciation fit with the overarching theme and her personality so much better.

The inclusion of Splash Star into this story was awesome, too.

If I can be honest, I don't think Saki and Mai would've done as well as Otona Precure if they had 12 episodes only to themselves (including Michiru and Kaoru, btw). So by giving them a fair amount of screentime next to the Yes!5 girls, the show just felt more complete with their conclusions.

They're still chasing their respective dreams, had their relationship troubles (and Saki got engaged to her boyfriend/fiance who seems like a very good guy judging by how he's supportive of her going to Luxembourg, ugh so happy for her!) and career doubts but are still as close as ever which allowed them to pull through in the end.

Wonderful.

Finally, let's all agree that no anniversary season is complete unless proper spotlight is given to the dai-senpai Precure, FutariWa.

Maybe that's why 10th anniversary was such a dud?

They didn't get as much screentime as they did during the 15th anniversary (which included two episodes in Hugtto and sharing the main lead role with Hana/Cure Yell in the All Stars movie) but they still made a grand entrance in the penultimate ep of Otona Precure and kicked absolute ass in the finale and that's really all that matters.

So good job, Toei!

And ok, finally finally, NozoCoco officially got 💖MARRIED💖

Romance is not a vital aspect of Precure nor does it ever have to be because focusing on friendship and teamwork is still the most important aspect when it comes to this series...

But only a stupid numbskull would say Coco is unnecessary to Nozomi's happiness because he's the biggest reason she was able to become who she is today. The fact that she even tells him, right after she woke up from her coma, that she needs him to truly be happy is a proof of how irreplaceable he is to her.

She doesn't ask him to be with her because she needs a man. She wants him to marry her because he brings out the best in her. Because he is the one person who can understand her better than anyone else can and the one person whom she wants to share the rest of her life with.

Remember that Nozomi was inspired by Coco. She became Precure, became Cure Dream, because she met him. She aspired to become a teacher because of him. The butterfly effect for her began with him.

For them to overcome all these obstacles to their relationship and promise to be there for one another, through all the good and bad...it's the fulfillment of a dream they both deserve.

And the perfect ending to Yes! 5 Precure.

So congratulations to Yes!5 and Splash Star on an amazing sequel.

Congratulations to Precure for these precious 20 years you've given us.

Here's hoping to more successful years ahead.

See you in the new year!

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

A Night of Dancing, Cocktails, and Celebration

A/N: An anon asked me if I write for Finn. Well, I did. I don't even know what this is but have fun.

Finn Mikaelson:

Your Dress:

Your Drink:

Your Dream Come True:

"Psst! Caroline..."

Your best friend ignored you, instead opting to direct  her attention into very pointedly inspecting a rather mundane plant that you were 86% sure was entirely fake. You nudged her shoulder.

"Caaaroline..." You sang through a very, wide, very forced smile. The blonde rolled her eyes and turned to you with a huff.

"What?" She demanded. Her eyes flicked around the insanely vast entry hall, searching nervously through the ball's attendees. No room should be this big, you decided. Her eyes finally fell on you and she frowned. "Quit smiling like that. It's creepy."

"Can't help it," You muttered, giving yet another overly polite nod to a couple passing by. "I smell rich people."

"Y/N-" Your best friend closed her eyes and sighed tiredly. "-you have issues."

"Eu contraire, I am perfectly sane," You insisted. "There's just way too much money in this room."

Caroline tipped her head back and you could tell she was exerting physical effort to stifle a groan. "Y/N/N, seriously-"

"No, you seriously!" You hissed. You couldn't seem to help the sliver of panic that worked it's way into your voice as you tugged lightly on her arm. "I'm completely outnumbered!" The blonde raised a brow, mostly unimpressed but at least partly worried. You matched her with wide eyes and a plea in your expression. "If I see one more Rolex, I'm gonna go all Kelsier on place."

Caroline blinked. "I'm sorry - Who?"

"He likes killing rich-people," You explained, waving a hand. "You need to read more fantasy novels."

She gaped, incredulous. "Excuse you! I do read-"

"Good ones." You cut her off with a pointed look and she pressed her lips together but nodded. "Point is," You continued, "I know I said I'd be your anti-hybrid bodyguard, but this place is way too much. If I don't see another minimum wage worker, I'm gonna throw up."

Your best friend's expression softened. "Y/N, I know you get really touchy about this sort of stuff but, honestly, you look as gorgeous as anyone else here - if not more so. You live in Mystic Falls as much as anybody else and you have just the same right to be here as they do," She said. "Besides, I can see Matt right over there. Just look!"

You glanced over your shoulder to where she pointed and caught sight of an unruly tuft of blond hair poking out slightly above the rest of the crowd. You shoulders relaxed a little, but not much.

"I appreciate that, Care - I really do - but I just don't know if I can do this," You mumbled, tugging on the lace sleeves that hugged your arms. The fabric was expensive for you but cheap enough to be itchy.

"You've been to stuff like this before," She pointed out.

"Sure have" You said with a sigh. "And I always go home feeling irritated and exceptionally poor."

The blonde girl pursed her lips and nodded, laying a gentle hand over your arm. You knew she didn't quite know what to say. She was a member of a founding family. She would never quite understand.

"Excuse me," A deep, accented voice spoke up softly from behind you. Startled, you and Caroline jumped and spun around. There stood a tall, dark haired man with sharp, narrow features and kind eyes. "I don't mean to intrude," He said politely, "but I couldn't help overhearing that one of you young ladies might be feeling a little overwhelmed?"

Your cheeks flushed and you offered him a sheepish smile. "Yeah, uh, tha-that would be me."

"I see." He smiled reassuringly. Though what you found remarkable was the fact that he didn't so much as hesitate to wonder why. "You know, if you're feeling in need of a little fresh air, the gardens here are secluded and rather refreshing to take a walk through."

You blinked, surprised at this stranger's generous display of concern. Biting your lip, you nodded, trying your best to put on a somewhat delicate or refined air.

"Oh, uh, wow. Yeah, that sounds pretty frickin' great right about now." You failed spectacularly.

To your surprise, however, the man just chuckled and smiled genuinely. "Well, in that case, I'd be honored to accompany you if you would like," He offered.

You glanced briefly to your best friend. Caroline tensed but, taking a breath, she forced herself to relax and sent you a smile.

"You sure you've got this?" You asked, feeling a little guilty about leaving her to be devoured by the wolves - or just one wolf, really.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," She said, letting go of your arm. "Take as long as you need."

"Thanks, Care." You shot her a greatful smile and she patted you on the back before turning and disappearing into the crowd.

"Shall we?" The man asked, holding out his arm to you like a proper gentleman.

"Why not?" You grinned and took it. "I'm Y/N, by the way."

The dark haired man smiled, it was shy but real nonetheless. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Finn."

Elijah Mikaelson:

Your Dress:

Your Drink:

Your Dream Come True:

"May I have this dance?"

You choked on your drink. Great first impression, you thought. You'd been so far off in your own little world, you hadn't even noticed the guy approaching you. More than likely, you'd looked like an idiot, just staring off into space with a vacant expression - the choking on your drink per was just a bonus point.

Scrambling to regain some sense of presence or dignity (it was apparently too much to ask your brain for both, so you'd settle for one or the other) you wiped your mouth and placed your drink down on a side table - you'd have to come back for it later because whoever was mixing those cocktails was a genius - and smiled at whoever had just asked for your hand.

Without a doubt, the man was stunning, with dark eyes and a jawline you were pretty sure could be used to measure corners, but there was something odd about him also. You felt as though you should know him...

Wait, wasn't he the one who gave that speech just now? Yeah, you were pretty sure that was him. He must have been part of the family hosting this shindig. What was his name...

"I'd be honored," You agreed before your science could be taken as awkward.

"Excellent." The man smiled but something told you it wasn't quite as effortless as he would have you believe. He looked a little stressed.

He offered you his hand and you took it, allowing him to lead you to the ballroom where the two of you took your proper positions as Ed Sheeran's "Give Me Love" began to play. You'd never been a great dancer, but you weren't terrible. Sure, you'd frustrated the ever loving sunshine out of Mayor Lockwood when she attempted to teach you during auditions for Miss. Mystic Falls, but as far as you were concerned, as long as you weren't stepping on any toes, you were winning. Besides, your partner - you really needed to learn his name - was good enough for the both of you and gracious enough to make your stumbling seem purposeful.

"You know, forgive me if I'm being too forward, but I would have thought the hosts of an event this formal would have a date, mister..." You trailed off, raising a brow expectantly.

"Mikaelson," He answered simply.

You snorted. "Well, I knew that. I was fishing for a first name," You said.

This time, your partner went so far as to spare you a chuckle. "My apologies, you may call Elijah."

"Mister Elijah." You nodded. "No date then?"

"No, not this time," He said, shrugging slightly as he guided you through a twirl.

"Okay. Follow-up question: -"

"- Oh, dear." His lips twitched up in a smirk and you had to laugh.

"Yep, what's the why? Too busy or too lazy?" You asked.

Elijah bit his lip and you could tell he was making an effort to keep his composure for the dance. "Am I allowed to say too tired?"

You hummed. "Okay, that's valid. What's got you so run down?"

"Believe it or not, there's a reason my siblings and I don't gather like this very often," He said, sharing a meaningful look.

You hissed. "Oh, honey, you're the mediator, aren't you?" (As someone born and raised in the south, your usage of "honey" was more an expression of pity than a term of endearment. Though, you weren't sure why you'd said it at all. This was a formal setting and you hardly knew the man you were dancing with, yet despite his slightly weary demeanor, his kind eyes and good humor put you at ease.)

"I try to be," He replied with a wry smile. "It's not an easy position."

You huffed a laugh. "Believe me, I know."

Elijah's smile grew a touch warmer at that. "Personal experience?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah." You nodded - probably a little too enthusiastically for the setting. "More than I care to think about."

"Really?" That smile of his was creeping up on a full-on grin. "Do yours ever give you a headache?" He wondered, a slight tease dancing in his tone.

You grimaced, shaking your head. "'Lijah, please." You weren't sure where the nickname came from but you went with it. "A conference call with my siblings requires at least a bottle of ibuprofen."

Elijah lifted you and spun before placing you lightly back on your feet. Pulling you in closer, he ducked his head slightly and you realized he was doing so to hide his laughter.

"That certainly sounds familiar," He said, a little strained. This stoic act he was putting on was killing him. You smirked, determined to help the process along.

"Must be," You mused. "But now you gotta tell me..." You narrowed your eyes at him with exaggerated seriousness. "Which one's the worst?"

"I'm not sure," He said a little too quickly, shrugging.

"Nuh-uh, 'Lijah! Don't go giving me that," You chided. "There's always a problem-child. Which of the little rascals is it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," He claimed, fighting the smirk tugging at his lips. "Truly, I love all my siblings, I would never stoop so low as to degrade any one of them publicly."

"Right," You deadpanned.

"However," Elijah continued, leaning down to whisper in your ear. You tried to ignore how your cheeks warmed at his proximity. "If I were forced to single out which of them has the greatest - shall we say - talent for inducing a headache, I might find myself looking in the direction of my youngest brother, Kol."

"Ah, I see." You nodded sagely. "Which one's he?"

"Second pair down on our left."

"Gottcha," You said, grinning. Elijah pulled away, arranging his expression into one of innocent indifference. "How 'bout I do you a favor then? Ya know, keep an eye on him for you?"

Your partner shook his head with a hint of a sigh. "I can't ask you to do that."

"Well, I'm gonna do it anyway," You announced. "You look like you could use a break."

Elijah hummed. "Well, you're not wrong..."

"Then it's settled." You smiled. "Take it easy tonight, have a little fun."

"I think I'd like that, actually. Just-" He hesitated. "Don't confront him, alright?"

You made a rather undignified noise and rolled your eyes. "Confront him? No, no, no. That's still your job, I'm afraid."

The handsome mostly-stranger laughed, truly laughed as the dance came to a close. You began to pull away but Elijah caught your hand.

"Wait, I-I don't believe I ever learned your name," He said. Looking over you with renewed interest.

"I'm Y/N," You said, dipping your into a slight curtsy. "It was a pleasure meeting your acquaintance." You gave a little flourish of your hand just to hear him laugh one more time. He had a nice laugh, you thought. He ought to do it more often.

"The pleasure's all mine," Elijah returned with a nod. "And thank you."

Niklaus Mikaelson:

Your Dress:

Your Drink:

Your Dream Come True:

"Foul villain, thy mother doth scare the crap outta me," You announced, sweeping your skirts around your legs as you moved to lean against the wall next to the original hybrid himself.

You probably shouldn't have been voluntarily interacting with a guy upon whom history had bestowed a moniker like "The Great Evil" but, you know what they say - viva la vida and all that. Besides, it wasn't like he'd ever done anything particularly vile to you specifically. Sure, he had kind of terrorized a solid ninety percent of your childhood playmates and quite literally murdered Elena. And sure, his acts of aggression were downright brutal, but honestly, they had sort of asked for some if not all of it. You'd been all for giving Klaus exactly what he wanted from the very beginning - it had just seemed like the overall safer and more pleasant option.

Not that your opinion had ever been given a speck of heed though. After all, amongst vampires, doppelgangers, werewolves, witches, and hybrids - what was the opinion of one lousy little human worth? (Not much according to your supernatural childhood friends.) You knew you'd never been anyone's closest friend. Truthfully, your discovery of the supernatural world altogether had been a fluke and everyone knew it. But hey, you'd survived this long and somehow managed to worm your way into just about everyone's best graces, so you figured you were doing alright all things considered.

Nevertheless, it was probably still completely insane that you considered the Klaus Mikaelson a tentative friend in any respect, but you figured it best not to question it.

The hybrid next to you cracked a smile and hummed, but didn't care to take his eyes off the bustling chamber of well-dressed individuals. "That's understandable," He said. "As I remember, she can be quite intimidating."

"That, my friend, is the understatement of the century," You huffed. Taking a sip from your drink, you balked at the taste and erupted into a coughing fit. Klaus glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and raised a brow but you waved him off. He shrugged and raised his hands as if in surrender.

"So, what did my mother do that unsettled the unflappable Miss. Y/F/N?" He asked, returning to his people watching.

You made a vaguely disinterested noise and shrugged one shoulder, jostling the delicate drape of the half-sleeve thing enough to expose your shoulder. The blond man's eyes were drawn to the movement and he tilted his head as if urging you to elaborate, but you didn't. He smirked.

"Oh, come on love. Now I have to know," He pressed. "How did my mother do what even I "The Great Evil" could not, eh?"

"She cornered me by the bathroom and asked if we were banging each other." You took another sip of your drink and gagged. Grimacing down at the concoction, you briefly debated whether or not to dump it into funky lookin' plant next to you.

While you did this, Klaus looked like someone had just pulled the rug out from under his feet. After taking a moment to readjust his balance, he stared at you with wide eyes and a floored expression.

You frowned. "What?"

The hybrid didn't reply. He just blinked once and shook his head minutely as if in sheer disbelief.

"Yeah, okay those weren't her exact words but they're close enough," You said, pushing a stray lock of hair out of your face.

"Well, what the bloody hell did you say?" He demanded. Klaus didn't often laugh, at least not with his voice. His eyes usually did the laughing - it was something about the way they sparkled.

"No."

He blinked. "That's it?"

"Yes?" You tilted your head, snickering. "I guess I asked why she cared but she didn't really answer, so I just told her the truth."

"And that is..." He trailed off gesturing for you to continue.

"That you and I are friends?" You said slowly. Klaus nodded but you thought you caught a flicker of disappointment cross his face. The original hybrid's disappointment usually didn't bode well for anyone. "I mean, I consider you my friend... Nik." He'd told you to call him that once - said it was because you were a good friend so you'd thought it would be alright to say the same of him. Maybe you'd been wrong. "But, i-if that offends you or something then I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean to assume, she just kinda pounced on me and I didn't have time to think." You bit your tongue to keep yourself from rambling on any further.

"No no, love. You did just fine." His lips twitched up in a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes this time. He turned back to people watching again and for whatever reason, you heart sank just a little.

"You sure?" You asked, uncharacteristically uncertain. "Was there something else I was supposed to say?"

Klaus shrugged but didn't look at you. "Why would there be?"

"I dunno. I just-" You shook your head, fixing your gaze on your dress's beadwork. Your voice dropped to almost a whisper. "You seem a little annoyed with me."

The big bad wolf (you didn't think he was so bad - not all the time) sighed and swung his eyes back to you. He offered a soft, more genuine smile. "I could never be annoyed with you," He said.

Your face grew warm all of a sudden and you silently wondered if a guest had found this mansion's thermostat.

"Oh good, 'cuz your mom certainly was," You blurted out. You could never seem to retain information when you were nervous - that was probably how you'd won Klaus friendship in the first place. You didn't just avoid lying to him. You told the truth.

He seemed slightly alarmed by that. His eyes narrowed. "Why would that be?"

"I think she thought I was lying to her," You mused, trying to recall your conversation with the original witch in it's entirety. "I mean, she said you don't get close to anyone really and then I think said something to the contrary and I called you Nik. But she told me only your siblings are allowed to do that... So yeah, she probably thinks I lied straight to her face but I have no clue how I'd change her mind." You shrugged and shot him a smirk. "Unless you feel like taking a jaunt upstairs real quick..."

Klaus threw his head back and laughed - a rare act for him. "You know, any other night I'd take you up on that."

"Oops, sorry bud -" You sent him a fake pout. "-one time offer only."

No, he didn't like you that way. He just... didn't.

He huffed an exaggerated sigh. "Shame."

"Yup."

You raised your drink to your lips and took another drink - this time you just about shouted Rebekah's special string of obscenities'. "Ugh! Why do I keep-"

Klaus snorted and shook his head. "I don't know, love, but I don't think that's the right cocktail for you."

"Tell me about it..."

He smirked, then reached over and took the glass from your hand. "I'll get you another one, sit tight."

Kol Mikaelson:

Your Dress:

Your Drink:

Your Dream Come True:

The spoon was your point of interest.

Not a spoon, but the spoon. That specific spoon.

It was a pretty spoon, a very pretty spoon - probably the prettiest spoon you would ever see. You inspected it closely. Intricate vine-like detailing was embossed in the silver and inlaid with gold just to highlight it's extravagantly lavish make. It was quite the obnoxious flaunting of wealth to invest a few thousand dollars into a bloody serving spoon, as if the mansion itself wasn't enough of a statement. But to each their own. You didn't care what some rich family - the Mikaelsons or whatever their name was - did with their money. Let them eat with gold freaking cutlery, it's not like there are actual children out there starving to death. No, these guys had a nice freaking spoons. Good for them.

At any rate, it wasn't their spoon anymore. It was your spoon.

You, not so discretely, shoved the gorgeous serving spoon in the pocket of your dress and turned around. No one the wiser.

And that was it, you decided. You weren't going to take anything else. You had your spoon and that was all you needed.

But then you saw a cup.

Well, it wasn't a cup - not really. It was a champagne flute and it was just... perfect. Crystal form with gold leaf lining the top and base. You liked that flute. It was nice. But you weren't going to take it.

You weren't going to take it, you decided. No, you weren't going to-

Huh.

How did that pretty cup end up in your hand?

Well, now that you had the thing in your hands, you might as well just slip it in your pocket. No one was watching. You would make better use of that little cup. You would love and appreciate it like these rich assholes never could. With that cup you were satisfied. There was nothing more these people had that you could possibly need. At least, nothing worth going to jail for... again.

That little dish, though...

The silver dish matched your intricate gold laced spoon. It was covered in those little breath mints people always leave out at parties, but that could be fixed.

You danced through the crowd of party goers on delicate, well accustomed feet just to see the platter a little bit closer. You weren't going to take it or anything. Arriving at the desert table, you plucked one of those little dinner mints off the tray, popped it into your mouth and turned, accidentally swiping the whole tray from the table as you did. You hadn't meant to of course - you never meant to steal anything. It just sort of... happened.

Now that you had it though, it wasn't as if you could just go sauntering to the table again to put it back. That sort of thing was suspicious. Someone would be bound to notice. You deftly poured all the dinner mints into the other pocket of your dress and looked down at the little tray in your hands. It might fit in your pocket, you thought, biting your lip. You had to try, at least. The dish was just to pretty for you to leave it lying around. Someone might steal it!

Glancing around, you made sure no one was watching before shuffling your dress a little to hide your hands while you squeezed that little dish into-

A hand shot out of nowhere and seized your wrist.

"That doesn't belong to you, darling," A voice like frigid silk murmured in your ear. You froze, blood turning to ice in your veins as that hand - with his all but bone-shattering grip - tugged on your arm, whirling you about to stare directly into a pair of gleaming brown eyes. The boy who had caught you looked around your age. He wore a wide, mischievous smirk and an air of superiority like other people might wear a baseball cap - that is to say very casually despite the stuffy setting.

"What do we have here?" He wondered aloud. That fox-like smirk broadened into a crookedly boyish - but not quite harmless - grin. "A thief, eh? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to take things that don't belong to you?"

You blinked twice.

"Nope."

The boy raised a perfect brow. "No?"

You thought about it. "Well, I mean, she did but the lesson just... never really sank in, you know?"

He didn't seem very impressed. "So you steal dishware? Really?"

"Apparently." You shrugged. "It's just how I roll. Sorry."

"I see," He said with obvious disdain. He leaned in closer. "Well, that sure makes things awkward for you, now doesn't it?"

"Mmmm..." You narrowed your eyes. "No, not really."

"Excuse me?"

"The only real awkward thing going on right now is your hand half-way down my skirt." You deadpanned right before reaching out to catch some passerby on the shoulder. The older gentleman turned to you. Initially annoyed, his expression morphed to confusion and then into something downright mortified as he took in the almost-extremely-compromising position the two of you appeared to be in. You gestured to the boy who'd caught you. "He's the weird one, right?"

The poor elderly chap sputtered.

"Oh, bloody hell..." The boy released you with a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You smirked, very proud of your little escape act, and made a brisk retreat for those fancy front doors you unfortunately couldn't fit in your pockets. Checking over your shoulder, you were relived to spot no trailing figures or suspicious eyes. Just as you turned back to the entrance, mere feet from your destination, a steel bar looped around your waist and hauled you though off through a side door which slammed shut as soon as you were through it. You didn't even have time to scream.

Glancing down, you found that the steel bar was, in fact, an arm which happened to be attached to a familiar pale hand. You frowned.

"Crap."

You felt yourself being spun around again and you huffed, facing that dark-haired boy once more.

"So where did we leave off?" He grinned mockingly.

"You were minding your own damn business," You stated primly.

"I was?" He shook his head. "Funny, that doesn't sound like me. "

"Was worth the try," You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I'm sure," The boy hummed. "I'm Kol, by the way. Kol Mikaelson, just so you know who you're stealing from. And you are?"

"Y/N." You answered dryly. "It's not a pleasure."

"It might be, who knows?" He said with a rakish smirk. "Now, let's see what you've got."

You rolled your eyes and let go of a long sigh as Kol reached down and dug through your pockets. He certainly wasn't shy about it either. Cheeky bastard.

"Bloody hell, how deep are these things?" He demanded, a few minutes into his search.

"Fantastically so," You replied. His hand smoothed down your thigh and you felt it through the thin fabric of your skirt as he clinched you roughly. "That is not contraband, Kol."

He grinned down at you. "My mistake."

"If I say keep making it, will you refrain from pressing charges?"

He blinked, clearly caught of guard. You had to admit to a degree of discomfort as something almost predatory flashed though his eyes but it was gone as just as quickly. That far too charming smirk returned as he wet his lips and nodded.

"Fair enough, darling."

Thirty minutes of digging, searching, and quite a bit of groping later and your pockets were, regrettably, empty. ( He never actually did anything though - never really touched you - he was just... teasing really. It was surprising but you appreciated it.)The items removed now lay haphazardly on the couch where Kol had tossed them. He had removed a total of twenty nine stolen artifacts from your person, including but not limited to: three golden rings, that holy serving spoon, the champagne flute, the silver tray, a platinum bracelet, no less than six Rolexes, a very expensive looking diamond necklace, a pair of pearl earrings, a bow tie, four tie bars, and some poor couple's wedding rings. Actually, the whole sexual teasing thing stopped rather quickly as Kol kept pulling out handful after handful of stolen valuables.

"I don't know if I should be impressed or disturbed," The boy remarked, having finally stepped away from you.

"Lets go with impressed!" You snickered. The sheer confusion written all over his face was worth more than all the spoons in his house combined.

"Bloody hell!" He dragged a hand through his gloriously messy hair and turned back to you, shaking his head in disbelief. "My mother is probably the worst in existence and even she taught me better than this. I don't think I've stolen this much in my entire life... and that's saying more than it sounds like!"

You nodded solemnly. "That sounds like a you problem."

Kol pursed his lips, trying rather hard not to laugh. "That's beside the point."

"Oh okay." You nodded... then shook your head. "Yeah, no you've lost me. What's the point of this and can I go home now?"

"You can go home once you tell me what your bloody excuse is!" He was grinning now, grinning and laughing like a real human boy instead of a spoiled brat.

You shrugged haplessly. "I'm a kleptomaniac."

His eyes flicked to the side and back. "A what?"

"Kleptomaniac," You said again. "It means I steal people's crap. Also-" You raised a hand and twirled a set of keys around and around your fingers. "-thanks for the car!"

Stefan Salvatore:

Your Dress:

Your Drink:

Your Dream Come True:

"You're pouting," You said, elbowing your best friend in the ribs.

"I am not pouting," Stefan snapped, arms folded over his chest as he watched his brother dance with his ex-girlfriend.

You clapped him on the back - hard , perching an arm around his shoulders with a long sigh. "You're totally pouting." The dirty blond vampire shook your arm off and you barked a laugh. "I wish I was as good at pining as you are, Stef."

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. "Oh really?"

"One-hundred percent."

Then - the bastard - he snatched your drink from your hands and downed it all in one go, before giving it back to you. The audacity of that kid astounded you sometimes.

"Aww, Y/N are you pouting?"

Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln@r13mar@rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99@railingsofsorrow@apolloroid@thatweirdoleigh@misswe03@eat-cake@felinegrate@cute-freak27@fayeatheart@archangelslollipop@aonungs-tsahik@sleepneverheardofher@heartbreakgrill@whatsupb18 @enchantedlandcoffee @trikigirl271@dreamingwithrafe@her-violent-delights@witchcraftandgeekness @dreamingwithrafe@acixsracix @susannahmikaelson Comment or DM me if you want to be added to my tag list!

[shmowder]

Whoa, you did amazing on your first run of P2! I made it through but like half the town died so I definitely enjoyed getting all the dialogue I missed the first time around. And just being able to spend a little more time appreciating the environment was nice, too.

You definitely make the first game sound interesting! And I would finally find out what everyone sees in Daniil 🤔

I also wanted to ask, do you have a favorite kid character? Sticky is mine.

Daniil, in the first game is... absolutely something. I love him, but god, I'm just in the first day of his route, and I can't stand his dialogue choices. He just keeps talking! he never stops. He has so much to say about everything and everyone at all times. He will fluff up the sentences with filler words and pleasantries.

Interacting with him as Artemy was fun because he was that silly dramatic guy from the Capital and you're only subjected to his theatrics once every two to four business days, plus the occasional letter he loves sending at the stroke of midnight, making you wonder if this is the time he inevitably went mad and is sharing the news with you as you open it.

BUT BEING DANIIL DANKOVSKY IS AN INSUFFERABLE EXPERIENCE.

I keep mansplaining everything to anyone who shows the slightest interest in me. Eva is flirting with me, and all I can do is abruptly change the conversation topic to be about death, very smooth Danill, I'm sure imagining her invetiable demise reeled her in.

...Am I describing myself? Is this what I'm doing right now?

Anyway, my favourite kid! My favourite child! this is gonna be a very long essay because I adore all the little rascals in Pathologic.

We're starting with Sticky <3

When I was playing P2, it was definitely Sticky. You mentioned him being your favourite!

With sticky, he is the first kid to actually give you a chance as Artemy. Sometimes, it feels like he adopted himself into your life and not the other way around. He just shows up and is immediately ride or die with you for life.

He steals for us! Breaks the law just to help us because he knows we are short on money! He doesn't have any medical knowledge but he tries his best to learn from watching you and the occasional questions.

He is endlessly curious and thirsty for knowledge. You can witness it each time you mention a medical term he doesn't know like serum or panacea, and he tries his best to understand what you're saying. Even if it doesn't make sense, he takes your words with blind trust. He wants to be just like you and it's so endearing.

I also adore how they gave him a personality that isn't just a docile student who agrees with everything you say.

No, Sticky will argue with you at times, insult you at others even. Especially his idle spoken dialogue where he keeps saying "How can people protect themselves from the infection? You're a doctor, you should know!"

It's the "You should know!" part that always gets me. He is upset that you don't know something! That's how much he secretly looks up to you and puts you on a pedestal. That when faced with the reality that you're not all-knowing and struggling to invent a cure, he's hurt and angry. Like you betrayed him by not being his superhero.

STICKY I'M SORRY MY SON I WILL DO BETTER I WILL GET 1000 COLLEGE DEGREES THAT WILL PUT THE BACHELOR TO SHAME PLEASE COME BACK!

His other idle spoken dialogue lines are also priceless. They tell a complete story on their own.

"I'll learn how to cure this plague myself. I'm a master of many skills!"

"I know the Lines, too. How else could I find my way around all the attics, and the cellars, and those twisty yards?"

He's trying to copy Artemy, to copy you the player and your effort to cure the plague. He's so small in this big world and can only effect so little in the grand scheme of the universe but he refuses to acknowledge that! He refuses that fate of being a helpless kid for you to save, he wants to be more and goddammit he will be more.

But he can't. He won't. At the end of the day, he is just a kid not matter how many tantrums he throws. He wants you to take him seriously and treat him with the same familiarity as other adults which is why insults you and jokes with you.

He wants Artemy to joke insult him too like he does with Stakh, he wants Artemy to confide in him and share theories like he does with Daniil.

HE WANTS HIS DAD TO BE PROUD OF HIM MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT.

"You don't look so happy. Musta come from the hospital"

He notices your mood, he studied your reaction and knows your routine by heart. He can tell the difference between Artemy's upset face and his normal resting scary ripper face.

Sticky tries to sympathise. But he has never seen a hospital before in his life, all he knew about them was what he read in picture books as a toddler while learning the alphabet and someone put Hospital under the letter H.

The makeshift Theatre-turned-hosptial could never compare to a real one. I've spent time in hospital and my doctor brother told me about the absolute horrors of the emergency care and surgery sections. The many peoples of which will die in front of your own eyes and there is nothing you can do to save them.

All of his world view is extremely limited. Artemy is the lense in which he views the world with, in an attempt to decipher and understand it. You've became his teacher since the moment the first ever question slipped from his mouth and you answered it with sincerity.

"My path was called In Defiance. I almost tracked down that weird creature, but then I found a better goal. I'm going to become a real doctor. "

In the marble nest, when Artemy's dead, Sticky attempts to still follow his fate and seeks the Bachelor. He confesses his dream of still wanting to be a doctor but Daniil is dismissive and only directs him towards the academic path.

It's clearly not the same, it clearly eats up at Sticky to have his old mentor die in order, a second time, to invent a cure and now he can't mourn because he has to convince the only other doctor in town to take him under his wing.

Artemy allowed him a chance, took him seriously, looked past his lack of education and taught him the same way his own father used to teach him. Because Artemy genuinely relates and understands Sticky's situation, he grew up in this town.

Daniil who lives in the capital where every child is handed a bright future and guaranteed education could never relate to the kids of the town who grew up without a single school. He feels bad for them yes but he can't see Sticky as capable of anything besides staying out of trouble and letting the real doctors do their job.

Daniil lives in his concept of a utopia where children are always protected and never put in dangerous situations while capable adults handle everything. A world where he closes a grocery to not spread infection because that's what's right and necessary, without caring about how the families will feed themselves now.

Artemy lives in the grim reality of orphans trading bullets and razors just to get enough food to stay alive, of them risking getting infected just to acquire plague maps for him to purchase, in the world where he helped a kid steal from a store for his own sake because he knew he couldn't afford saying no in these dire circumstances.

Sticky does a lot of work behind the curtains. He keeps the lair clean and takes care of Murky. It's a shame we don't get to see him doing these things in-game, besides his model changing spots depending on the time of day.

This interaction happens on the third (or second?) day! The kid barely knows us, and he is already looking for our approval and doing chores around the house. I mentioned before how the Haruspex's lair floors are constantly wet-looking in a different post, and that detail is probably due to Sticky constantly moping the floors and keeping things tidy.

I wish Artemy was more gentle with him, I wish he spoke softer to him like he does with Murky. I know he treats her like that because she is younger and more gaurded but god Sticky deserves to be told good job too!

Sticky absolutely adores Murky. He makes her candy with melted sugar and tries to cheer her up. But he also tends to idolise Isidor a little too much. They end up in fights a lot because he always defends Isidor and his actions no matter what anyone says.

In p1, Sticky absolutely did not get along with any of the kids. Notkin invited him to join his gang, and Sticky refused, Khan wanted him to do a favour too, and Sticky declined. He doesn't play with other kids, he doesn't engage with them, and he is mostly alone.

It doesn't seem like that changed much in P2, sure the others don't mention him by name but also you don't ever see him wandering to the hubs the other kids are so fond of.

So for him to be kind and befriend Murky despite all the alienation he has suffered all his life from other kids, it really must have been a challenging step for him to take. He immediately accepts her as his sister and doesn't ask any questions.

In his free time, before becoming a student, he used to uncover mysteries and perform experiments detective conan style. Camping at the steppe at night to witness one of those clay vampire creatures despite no one believing him, attempting to get to the bottom of remours.

He's clearly very fascinated by the kin folktales and mystical creatures beyond just fantasy. What others dismissed as childish beliefs, he looked at with rationality and attempted to make sense of. The same burning curiosity reared its head when Artemy shared stories about the kin with him.

Even his idle dialogue shows his lingering fascination with the supernatural world, with the miracles of the kin. He doesn't fear them, he wants to witness them despite the consequences.

"The murderer is a steppe demon! A shabnak-adyg! I just know it!"

"A long neck and a fat body. And hooves for feet—so it's an Albino. And people say it wasn't the earth that made it!"

"Have you seen a pale, glimmering man walking around at night?"

Just imagine Artemy passing down all of the kin tales to Sticky, the ones his father used to tell him, the ones he learned from the herb brides, the ones Oyun used to whisper to him, the ones Aspity shared during their brief interactions.

Isidor's death greatly affected him. He never speaks about him or shows it, but the fear of abandonment has already taken root. It's apparent in the endgame dialogue when he's refusing any idea of you leaving, even ten years from now, when he is a full 20-something adult.

Just the mention of leaving has him terrfied and panicking, he doesn't want to experience the loss of another father so soon. He clings to you like gum throughout all of the game and doesn't leave your lair out of fear you won't be there when he comes back.

He sits in that broken chair and watches over Artemy as he sleeps, that kid needs a hug and reassurance so badly.

Suddenly, he has a sister to take care of, a father who loves him and is willing to teach him, a house with his own room, a future ahead as a Menkhu doctor. He has his dream coming true, and he won't survive having it taken from him.

The devs leave a lot of room for you to influence Artemy's choices and reactions throughout the game, even when it's just flavour plot texts and I love that. In my version of events, Artemy rejected all the proposals and job offers from Young Vlad, General Block, Yulia and the rest to be their assistants or travel with them.

Instead he remains home to be a Menkhu, watching over his town and helping whatever remains of the kin to survive. He accepts Lara's offer to help him take care of Sticky and Murky as co-parenting and friends. He raises both of them to be wonderful amazing adults who listen to their hearts and follow their own dreams.

Maybe add Aglaya survives and they have a long distance romance and the kids are intrigued by her terrifying aura-

ANYWAY.

Honourable mentions, Murky, Taya and Notkin.

Murky because of EVERYTHING SHE IS. I will surrender my own life to see her happy.

THIS MOMENT MADE ME CRY. ACTUALLY FUCKING FULL ON WEEP IRL.

Do you remember her words to us? to Artemy?

"What is there about you to love? Nothing. So I don't."

"I don't need you. Nuh-uh. Things were great without you. Great."

"Why did you come here? I don't need you. Nobody here needs you. We're not friends with her anymore, anyway."

"Why should I love you? I don't need to love you at all. I can stop loving you whenever I want."

She keeps repeating how she doesn't love us, how there is nothing to love, how she doesn't need you, she doesn't need anyone....She can stop loving us whenever she wants, she can stop if she wants to she is so sure of it...

And she knows she is lying the whole time.

She loved Artemy since the first moment she saw him.

Which was when he murdered those three people after getting off of the train. She saw a murderer, a ripper, and loved him as daughter loves her father.

Covered in blood in our worst, Murky looked at us and saw a gentle heart and a nurturing soul.

Sticky is scared of being abandoned again so he clings to us, Murky is scared of loving us so she clings to a lie. She wants a dad, she wants a brother, she only has her doll and a broken train car to call her own.

The only thing left from her parents, her lonely doll. And it was your father whom caused their death and orphaned her, what cruel fate to make her love you as a father.

The son of her parents killer.

Not a gradual love that we work for, No. She loved is since the single moment she saw us. How terrifying is that for a kid who has known no love or warmth in this life.

-

For Notkin, he always seemed like the most willing out of the bound kids to be your friend, not counting your own two adopted kids. By the end of the game, he asks to join the kin and says you're already one of his guys, you have a half soul too and it's massive and so cool.

He blatantly states how much he likes you, how much you've grown on him and stood by his gang's side through the game. He shares with you his dream of opening a warehouse in the future, describing something very similar to what Grief currently has minus the crime.

How poetic it is! Grief and Artemy being childhood friends only for Notkin aka mini-Grief version to end up liking grown Artemy too and wanting to be his friend.

Murky does remind of Lara now that we mention it. In one of the items descriptions, Artemy mentions how Lara knitted him the blue sweater that he's wearing ingame under the surgical grab and when he asked her why blue, she said because it's the colour of idiots and never knitted him anything again.

Murky and her are absolutely kind and selfless to a fault, both treating Artemy with apparent hostility and sharp words when in reality they care for him more than anything.

Notkin and Grief putting an air of being dangerous so Artemy wouldn't get any ideas, but eventually warming up to him and entrusting him with their sincere emotions in rare moments of vulnerability. Both are trying to be good leaders for people under their care, both appreciate his help in dire situations and give him back when they can. Grief is the first to hand you items to get you started ingame, and in Notkins warehouse, a kid gives you bread and milk, later they give you the first plague map for free.

In a way, it feels like Sticky adores Artemy in the same way Rubin must have idolised Isidor.

Jfwifjwkd Artemy straight up adopted the kids equivalent of his childhood friends that is so peotic.

-

Finally, there is Taya!

For her, I feel more of a personal connection rather than any bond she may have with Artemy. She reminds me of myself as a kid in a way. She looks spoiled but in reality she is very isolated and only have interacted with adults all her life who keep reminding her of her responsibility.

She wants to be a kid so desperately but she is forced to play the mother superior role. And despite all her lack of emotional development at that age, she does her best to sincerely play that role. To be wise and study the responsibility handed to her.

In P1, she mentions nonchalantly how her father, the previous leader of the kin, was killed by the kin in her place, he died to protect her from being killed. She mentions that if you choose to sacrifice big vlad in place of young vlad.

Saying how the father should always pay for the sins of his children.

Isidor died so Artemy may live

Her father died so she may be spared

Big Vlad died in place of his son getting killed.

Taya is very childish at times in a way that I wish she was allowed to express more. Just look at these scenes.

SHE JUST WANTS CHOCOLATE AND SWEETS, BUT HAS TO PLAY THE ROLE OF A HOLY LEADER TO A WHOLE COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WITH CULTURE OLDER THAN THAN THE WORLD. SHE IS TRYING HER BEST OKAY.

God it's like she's holding the weight of the world on her shoulders but laughing and smiling despite of it as she dreams of strawberries.

STRAWBERRIES! THAT'S LITERALLY HER BIGGEST DREAM.

Ugh she is so tiny too! LOOK AT HER. You can put her in you pocket but she might get lost between the loose change!!

SHE IS 4 GRASS BLADES TALL!!! FOUR! SHE IS PROBABLY 5 APPLES TALL LIKE HELLO KITTY! SHE IS JUST A LITTLE GIRL AAAAAAAAA

LET ME ADOPT HER GAME!! LET ME HAVE HER LIVE IN ARTEMY'S HOUSE WITH STICKY AND MURKY AS HER OLDER SIBLINGS! PLEASE I NEED IT! BRING NOTKIN TOO!

The remaining kids, Capella, Khan, Grace and even Taya herself, don't seem that fond or attached to Artemy. Their fates cross a lot and some of them clearly saw Isidor as a father figure but it's never the same with Artemy.

Taya only cares for him as Menkhu, she is mother superior and he is one of her "children" like any other person from the kin.

Capella sees him as a business partner in a way, she asks for favours and promises to repay tenfolds when she becomes a mistress. Her goals and Artemy's allign so they are partners in planning.

Sometimes, I wonder if Artemy was supposed to be born much later. Because Capella describes a future where he is included with these kids when it comes to rebuilding the town. The fact his own mother died during childbirth makes me consider that theory a bit more, maybe his parents rushed into having a second kid when his older brother passed away which caused health problems to his mother.

So Artemy was supposed to be born much later alongside these kids and play his role in rebuilding the town. But it's just a theory.

A GAME THEOR-

-

Thank you so much for the praise about finishing the game! I want to lie and say it was effortless. But.It.Was.Not. 500 reloads. But I loved every minute, I would hate going to sleep because it meant I had to stop play and would open the game first thing after waking up. It was literally and addiction and I couldn't remember my own name and life event but I for sure had the list of items best to trade to which town npcs memorised.

I want to replay it after finishing it P1. It is fun but it can be boring at times which is why I'm moving at a slugs pace in Daniil's route. Part of me is also dreading finishing it since I will only have Clara's route to play by then....and its over like that.

Maybe by stalling, I'm hoping that P2 Bachelor's route will come out sooner.

I definitely enjoyed this conversation <3 I love talking and talking loves me, I have a million opinions on everything and so much to say about pathologic. If you ever get curious about a certain subject, character or concept, shoot me an ask since I will have so much fun writing out the essay.

I hope you had fun reading this! I try to sprinkle in jokes so it's not just a big dump of information but eh, I love mansplaining guilty as charged.

Take care anon! I hope your day is wonderful. Also wanna be called Sticky anon if you're going to be a frequent quest on here?

[tolerateit]

i feel like we're all chronically online (and it's okay and inevitable) to the point where nobody can listen to taylor and just listen.... i guess she's just so famous that there's constant curiosity about her, but honestly it's so unfair for her that she gets accused of things that she didn't label herself with.. people take the fans' labeling as statements taylor put out herself. it takes a lot of effort to remove yourself from the discussion and just listen to her as anyone else does and judge her work through that lens but i know as fans some people love her so much that they have to over idolize or over criticize because they always want her to be super right and clean or they see her work through the "perfect" lens and nothing less.

what people don't get from the TTPD is that taylor is TRYING to free herself from that perfectionism bit by bit. she is approaching the pop genre in a very different and in my opinion non commercial way. imo the album doesn't really have your typical HIT song. actually this album reminds me of some of the arctic monkey's music where the main focus is the lyrics and subjects presented not really the perfect rock or pop or indie song. hope I'm making sense.

last thing is, taylor's songwriting is definitely rare and unmatched but also she's not gonna write every song like blank space or cardigan or anti hero or champagne problems or whatever "perfect" taylor song (as people see them). even Shakespeare has works that some people may consider Okay. so no need to fight what is un-fightable (this isn't a word but yeah lol)

I've said this before and I'll say it again - swifties are the reason Taylor is as big of a star as she is rn but also are the number one reason why her works aren't as appreciated by the general public (apart from there being a preference disparity of course)

[muppetminge]

i don't as such care much for the concept of pride month, but since i happen to not have much going in june i will take this as an excuse to watch a bunch a lesbian films. in theory, this could be 30 - in practice, it almost definitely won't be. i will 100 % get bored and stop at some point. anyway i want to find like actually good lesbian movies - which might be an oxymoron, but anyway - this means i'll only be watching woman-directed movies, preferably lesbian-directed but i'm aware i probably won't get to be that picky </3.

movies watched:

1. The Watermelon Woman (1996), dir. Cheryl Dunye. "all you do since you don't have a girlfriend is watch those boring old films" well, screw you too, tam. so happy to start off the month with something that's actually good. thank you cheryl <3 speaking of, this woman is so fucking hot it's bullshit. also i do need her earrings like asap but that's another topic. forever saddened by the death of video stores... where am i supposed to go to meet hot lesbians now? netflix? it's bullshit, man.

I don't think there's any part of this I don't find incredibly compelling. It's really funny, and just generally so charming and, well, human. the narrative of building your own history really resonates, and honestly cheryl gets it across incredibly.

2. Pariah (2011), dir. Dee Ress. i didn't vibe with this one as much, but i guess that's my own fault considering i knew very well going into this that i don't particularly like coming-of-age movies. the soundtrack hit most of the time, even if the soundscape in general was a bit flat for my taste. it's a very dark movie. like, physically. i couldn't see shit half the time. also not really a fan of the camerawork throughout most of it. it's a nice-looking film if it's your kind of taste - unfortunately i am too kitsch to really appreciate it :/ i thought scene near the end with lee and her dad on the roof was really nice. also found kim wayans' character really compelling

3. La Belle Saison (2015), dir. Catherine Corsini. not projecting but also delphine i feel you so hard. is this representation because if so i don't mind it... (except the part where you're actually getting some but whatever). desperately making me feel like i should wear more tank tops. anyway delphine was really in a headlock with every single one of her principles toward the end huh. i get the dilemma though her riding tractors is basically public service (to Me because it's incredibly hot). i'm not even gonna be an ass about it like i genuinely just really liked this.

4. But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), dir. Jaime Babbit. "1-2-3-4, inverts we won't be no more!" obviously i've watched this a million times before. did take this as an excuse to watch the extended edition and like just saying ms babbit if you want to extend even more you're more than welcome to it <3 gonna be careful about mentioning natasha here because i love her and chances are i won't be able to shut up again but gd people really do underestimate how fucking funny she is… i've personal beef with clea for having basically the same haircut i had for a long while and making it look so much better. only realized on this watch that melanie lynskey's playing hilary. incredible. anyway i genuinely don't know what more anyone could possibly want in a movie. it's so hot. like all movies should look like this - let those colors pop for a change! one of the best soundtracks of the last thirty years and i'm so serious about that.

i think this was probably the first genuinely good lesbian movie i saw as a teenager desperately searching for something to relate to. it still grips me from the very first scene even now. i do think the stars aligned to make this work. it's so funny and it's such a great satire.

5. リズと青い鳥 / Liz and the Blue Bird (2018), dir. Naoko Yamada. shit, dude. first of all this is so so pretty. it makes me insane how much care and effort they'll put into like a background shot of a shelf or something... and all the watercolor... gorgeous. like just the opening shot with all flowers and the colors that are just popping right out at you... in general just really effective visual communication, especially on rewatches i'd imagine (after having seen the final hug scene). i remember when i went to high school one of my classmates was so incredibly musically talented it was genuinely a bit infuriating and i was so shocked she didn't go on to study music 'cause i would have if i'd been able to get in lmao. anyway this was really sweet. the last third is so incredible. when they finally play it, damn... genuinely like goosebumps. and then it somehow kept going? i feel like it's still settling while i'm writing this but i feel like i'm probably going to watch again at some point.

6. I Can't Think Straight (2008), dir. Shamim Sarif. cut to waters novel. cut to k.d. lang cd. one wonders. this having a lower average than imagine me & you if anything really shows that reviews are bullshit. loved the music. loved lisa ray's character being half a second from jumping leyla at all times. loved zina; wish she'd had more scenes. loved leyla's dad being an insurance salesman; life insurance even. sells itself. when the ladies finally did jump each other it was with zero hesitation and i fuck with that so hard. this movie is so funny i don't care. bonus the ladies are very very hot. you can't fault a movie from 2008 for being incredibly 2008. here's to leyla for one day achieving the honor of being tala's fifth fiance(e). truly gettin' it all.

7. Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019), dir. Céline Sciamma. writing this on the eighth with an officially broken streak :( it Will happen again. this is indeed the first time i've watched this because i am to my core a contrarian bitch and seeing everyone freak out about this did Not make me want to watch it. now i have, and like... it's alright, yeah. didn't love love it. it's probably too long for what it's got going on. i loved héloïse; she was great. there's some really powerful scenes in here, the bonfire scene especially. i really liked how blue the ocean was; i hate this tendency of (especially) period pieces washing out everything to a ridiculous degree. i know some people are like insane about this movie and i'm happy for them but i can't relate unfortunately.

i did think briefly at the start that it was gonna be about croquis, and i really wish it had been, ngl.

8. Carmen y Lola (2018), dir. Arantxa Echevarría. 'ya te he olvidado' yeah babe sure looks it. had a certain interest in this going into it for very elaborate personal reasons. it's a lot better than the synopsis makes it sound. lola searching 'lesbianas madrid' like i feel you girl, been there!!! speaking of i was def convinced lola was a lesbian which feels like so rare in such a 'mainstream' movie lmao so well done. very believable. and like my girl was so so persistent you gotta give her that like she really went for it. can't blame her i'd be so into carmen too so like. her voice made me wanna die. so hot. (sí también es que el acento madrileño me pone un poquito pero,,,,). it really went insane at the end like damn. i was not expecting the ending tho like i really thought carmen was gonna be annoying about it. do i even have to save that i really liked this? because surprisingly i really really did. i can't help but feel it's getting rewatched a ton some time lmaooo.

9. 漂浪青春 / Drifting Flowers (2008), dir. Zero Chou. can't believe someone in the reviews of this stole my joke three years ago. speaking of reviews don't look at them because of course people have to be so so annoying about this. as usual. anyway. i was so drawn in by this you wouldn't belive!! i don't even know what to say... this is for all us if these walls could talk babes btw. loved the scene where one of the characters blatantly walked by posters and posters of one of chou's other movies. show off.

diego!!! <3<3<3 every single character is lovely but diego made me wanna *** ngl. it did hit very close to home, thanks for asking. realised in her part that i probably chose the wrong day to watch this but that's on me lmao. this would have broken me if i had watched it as a teenager lowkey. does it come across in this that i really like interconnecting vignettes? because i do, and this is really well-executed. hope you'll watch it and also that you'll find less spotty subtitles than i did if you do lmao.

it's a very genuine movie; i don't mean that in a condescending way, because it's also very much a well-made movie, but it's a movie that so clearly has a lot to say, and i appreciated all of it. perhaps this is also why i was so surprised at the reviews, because it really resonated with me. i know i've already pointed out diego a lot, but all three parts were incredible and they really held each other up. i don't think any of them would feel as complete without the other parts. in an odd way it stands like a shining light in the darkness.

10. Addicted to Fresno (2015), dir. Jaime Babbit. "(lesbians are poor. ..)" confirmed babbit apologist sorry :/ anyway i'm not gonna compare this to cheerleader i wouldn't want to try to follow that either. it's a fun movie! i laughed a ton. my lyonne obsession is well-documented so i'm not even gonna touch on that lmao. that being said martha is exactly the kind of lesbian i want to see more of (no projection here. obviously). i'm bound to be all over anything with these themes; lo and behold indeed i was. i stand by this being really well-executed, y'all just didn't get what she was trying to do <3 you could argue some tonal difficulties, but honestly i'm not going to. it worked. it's a bit quiet, but i can see that adding to the whole point of being stuck. some surprise appearances to delight

11. Saving Face (2004), dir. Alice Wu. first of all gd will's mom has got it going on. anyway i wanted a fun romcom and i got a fun romcom so i'm not complaining! i will say that i think this is the genre at its best. like romcoms often risk coming across as a bit clinical i feel, a bit empty, but this is just so warm. i adored hwei-lan (not just because she's hot but let me reiterate that she's so unbelievably hot; i get that boy so much, i really do), she's so funny. i love circular storytelling, and i think the end was done really well. the scene after that during the credits is exactly how i want my movies to end actually, i want my face to hurt smiling. don't you? wil is an absolutely idiot. i cannot blame her for a single thing. also i get you babe, i can't stand for dancers either. i feel like this is close to being one of most just plain fun movies i've watched so far.

12. Kyss mig (2011), dir. Alexandra-Therese Keining. gd i so want all my lesbian movies to start with a straight sex scene, don't you? coming to you with the exact opposite mood of that from yesterday. everyone in this is horrible. mia and frida's relationship is not believable at all to me sorry. i barely believe that these two even like each other if i'm being honest. it's not the first movie here where the romance comes a bit from nowhere (namely portrait, which made up for it with some level of charm, and belle saison, which i just liked enough otherwise to excuse it) but here i'm definitely gonna blame it for it because it's got nothing else going on, either. to be entirely fair, it was very optimistic going into this with my dislike of 'scandi dramas', especially of the swedish variety, but fuuuuck, i was so bored i'm sorry. it's soooo slow. i actually quite liked elin but she was there for like five seconds - and good for her, because damn you deserve better babe... both of the main women kind of suck lmao but at least frida sucks in a fun way most of the time, so she's excused. i don't know if i'm supposed to feel bad for tim (probably! knowing the genre, knowing swedes, knowing movies), but he's such an asshole. i genuinely think mia should have killed him. i can't blame mia for sucking; her dad's a major asshole, i'm sure she's had it rough. i'm sure if you like this sort of movies it's alright. it's not badly made by any account, i just really didn't like it. it has its audience. definitely a new low so far. the one good thing about this was that it really made me appreciate being a lesbian; those scenes with mia and tim genuinely looked like my personal hell. if i was mia i'd jump the first girl who looked at me too, ngl. the ending did make up for a few things, all things considered. i watched a not insignificant part of this without subtitles (because they would not workkkk) and i'm so brave for that tbh

13. Kokon (2020), dir. Leonie Krippendorff. proof that i should probably do more research before watching stuff (never going to happen though; no fun) because i did not realise this would be this much of a coming-of-age story. like literally hitting all the points. anyway it didn't do much for me. i really don't want to be mean here because it's obviously a very well-made film, and i get the intention, but... i was so fucking bored you would not believe. like i was less actively annoyed by this than kyss mig, but way more bored. it's not a very long movie, but it sure feels like it! anyway, if you're watching for the rep, you can skip this one; it's not really the main part of the movie, which is fine - comparatively, pariah had much more of a lesbian focus. this one really is just coming-of-age. something something you know you're in berlin when the whitest girl you've ever seen is swearing on the qur'an. i'm so glad i'm not a teenager - and what a joy to be getting further and further away every day <33

14. Desert Hearts (1985), dir. Donna Deitch. first of all the soundtracks is lovely (and it's a well-documented fact that mona will forgive everything for a good soundtrack). second of all i want to watch this again. like, immediately, right now. i'm gonna watch this so much i fear it's not even funny. ignore the 80s hair; we're in the 50s. one of the better romances yet. the lesbian-english teacher hypothesis proving true time and time again... incredible. cay is so funny. like the way the camera pans over to her in the bed in the hotel room scene... cinema! i was fucking done lmao. it's all just very lovely.

15. Go Fish (1994), dir. Rose Troche. well, we had to go here at some point. it's a very jazzy movie; take that however you wish. i have my criticisms, but also you can't blame a 90s movie for being too 90s (which in truth is what a lot of it boils down to). max' narrations were without a doubt my favorite part, the start especially so. there's more lesbians in one 80 minute movie than i've even crossed paths with, ever. cutting your fingernails before a date counts as foreplay in my book.

16. Joven y alocada (2012), dir. Marialy Rivas. i just know the progressive profesoras are going wild over this. huge respect to chileans for seeing a word and deciding fuck that shit and dropping half of it. top five accent ngl. also polola... also credit for starting a movie in the most uncomfortable way possible. anyway i am so not the target audience for this it's not even funny. it's well-composed, the style is great, entirely well-done, did not care for it. i only finished because i couldn't get the last-moment replacement to work and i didn't have time to watch anything else lmao. i have a lot of respect for rivas (hence me watching this) but... yeah. also really getting confirmed that i am very fine with lesbian sex scenes but straight sex scenes are horrrrrible.. nice reminder of the lesbianism i guess! i will be singing yo no te pido la luuuuna the rest of the night though. non voglio mica la luna...

17. Les Rendez-vous d'Anna (1978), dir. Chantal Akerman. an excuse to cross some akerman off my watchlist? you could call it that. i have a ton of respect for her. she's a very interesting person, i think. an interesting movie, too, all things considered. i'm very much drawn to the fastpaced and erratic truth be told, which this is like the polar opposite of, but it's got its point. i really liked the part with her mother. that was probably the high point of this. i didn't really care for either of the guys, like, at all, but it is what it is. still gathering my thoughts, i feel. not sure i'm entirely in the right space to really appreciate this.

18. Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same (2011), dir. Madeleine Olnek. "...I did wonder about the gills". oh, this is how you make a movie. (was smiling and/or laughing from beginning to end). question: can this be replicated in real life. like can i just go find the nearest hot stationery clerk or how does this work.

19. Mädchen in Uniform (1931), dir. Leontine Sagan. all impact aside, this is a lot more fun than i'd thought. obviously i've been putting this off for a while now considering i hadn't seen it til now, but i really did enjoy it. i feel like it's rare seeing girls just having fun like this. as a young girl i was very into this old book series (incidentally from my mother's childhood) about some girls at a boarding school; entirely irrelevant to every and anything here, but watching this gave me the same vibe throughout much of it.

20. سكر بنات / Caramel (2007), dir. Nadine Labaki. absolutely adore this one description i found that says rima is struggling with her attraction to women - lmao where?? the most she struggles in this movie is the coerced leg wax lmao. otherwise it's basically all very sensual hair washing, gd bless. she's also very hot btw i do need to mention that. i see you all going crazy over labaki and you're not wrong but gd man... anyway, sensual hairwashing aside, the straight girls are alright too. seriously, this is actually very good. even though rima's the lesbian the most homoerotic part of this is layale very aggresively waxing of her lover's wife.

21. Een vrouw als Eva (1979), dir. Nouchka van Brakel. after a hundred minutes still not convinced this is a real language. anyway, i don't even know what to say. fuck, dude. gd. you could argue dated, but fuck it's rare to see a movie like this treat its lesbian protagonist with this much sympathy, even today. there's a lot to say, but in my mind this is what i keep coming back to. it's in the little things. at no point does this feel perfomative to me, either. a few asides: the beginning of this movie was very extremely effective at showing how utterly miserable eve was lmao. ad is a giant asshole; eve not slapping him is a testament to this poor woman's patience.

22. 蝴蝶 / Butterfly (2004), dir. Mak Yan-Yan. between the marianne faithful, patti smith and janis joplin i can't be entirely sure jin's place isn't actually mine also fuck josie ho is gorgeous. i almost didn't watch this (length) but gdddd i'm so glad i did. it took a bit for me to get into, but by the time it ended i had to just sit for a moment. it's breathtaking, honestly. i don't know what it is - maybe it's the timelessness? the way everything weaves in and out of each other constantly, like it's all happening at the same time. i don't know. it's so gorgeous, though.

23. Viola di mare (2009), dir. Donatella Maiorca. ah, sicilia, amore mio <3 anyway what the fuck. i think that's my main impression for the moment. gd. supposedly based of a real story, i really do think it's told well for the most part. i mean, gd, it would have been so easy to focus on all the surrounding, but the love really is palpable i gotta be honest. making me sigh and swoon over here... if more people were like angela, like first of all that would rule, but also lesbian movies would be sooo short. she's damn persistent lmao love her <3 definitely worth watching, but like do not read up on a single thing beforehand.

24. The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), dir. Maria Maggenti. "Is this another one?" sometimes you really just do wanna watch two girls having fun. american high schools in media always throws me a bit because i genuinely can't tell how much is artistic exaggeration and how much is just you guys living like that. seems sick. if i still went to the hairdresser i'd show her a picture of randy in this. not getting over vicky's husband getting physical with a literal seventeen year old lmaoo go home dude! it's all very cute, genuinely. by my count this brings the jopling counter up to three. bonus for the bratmobile.

25. I've Heard the Mermaids Singing (1987), dir. Patricia Rozema. i'm really glad this is the one i'm the ending this on. gddddddddd i loved this so much. to quote polly herself: it's so... nice! oh, polly... <3 seeing a quirky weird girl represented so well is like seeing a shooting star.

all in all: this has been... really fun, actually. i don't know that i was counting on that. i did not in fact get bored and stop. i'm willing to concede that the amount of actually, genuinely good lesbian movies might in fact be a positive integer after all. definitely a much more fun way to spend pride month than engaging in nonsensical discourse. happy july! <3

[btwxsixesandsevens]

Get to know your fic writer! I’m gonna be moderately demanding and ask 12, 16, 21 and 23!

Writer Asks!

12. How does recieving feedback (or not) impact you?

I have two kinds of stories -- ones I write for me and ones I write for y'all. I do not care if you don't comment on the ones I write for me. These are fics that weigh on me, that *I* need to have exist. These are ones where I'm writing myself in. My OCs. My culture studies. Black!Armorer started this way. I post these, but I know no one else really cares like I care. Now Fics I write FOR AN AUDIENCE -- most of my Ahsoka fics fall into this category, along with a lot of my m/f MCU content -- it pisses me off when I don't get comments. My feelings aren't hurt, per se. It feels like I made a whole meal and the audience looked over the table and didn't eat what they'd ordered. I know my fics are good (my ego is notable) and long term, it is discouraging to cook and have the food sit to rot. Now I will say that I'm lucky to have a core of a dozen readers who do comment, so I generally feel well appreciated in both categories. but I also keep well in mind that the fics that are for me, are just for me.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now?

Star Wars -- I'm cooking a Bo-Katan/Armorer fic with a little adventure and appearances from Hera and Fennec and basically all the post-war lesbians I love. that'll start posting mid October.

I've also gotten recently obsessed with a Barrissoka 1880s AU, so we'll see where that goes.

MCU -- I have a feeling that Bucky needs to introduce Yelena to Sarah Wilson. I think that'd be funny.

So that's...three? I *really* want to write an Aniseya/Korill, but the plot hasn't come to me yet, so it doesn't really count.

21. Collaboration.

I totally would! I've done it before and I'd do it again. It takes effort to find people I groove with tho, who write at the same...tone. and I'd want to be producing something really unique, something missing from the fandom. I'm not writing another "and then these two slender white mid-twenties women kissed chastely and did each other's makeup" fic. There's a place for that, but it isn't my lane.

23. advice.

write every day. The muse works for you, make her put out. Writing is a volume game. you're going to produce shit. so the more words you put on the page, the faster you get thru the shitty stuff to the good stuff. and the more you write, the easier it is to write. writing is a muscle and it doesn't get stronger from you just *thinking hard*.

Stay out of the kudos/comments game. that's a mind game that plays to popular pairings and predictable plots. don't write what other people write. find what makes your brain go brrr and write that. and if only 3 other people dig it? my shit isn't for everyone, just the sexy people.

delete your adverbs. use a stronger verb instead.

review your tenses. nothing bounces me off a fic faster than the writer not being clear on when something is happening.

love your work. if you don't love it, it shows. appreciate your own work, it is what remains, after all is done.

Thanks darlin' for the asks!

Anyone else?

Get to Know your Fic Writer

[sasukimimochi]

i wanna ramble about my view on JC but i'm so bad at words

so like, i see posts where people talk about these things JC does or WWX holds back from, i don't wanna go searching but also want to leave these details out cuz i don't want to accidentally call people out cuz that is not my intention (not that i have the audience to do something like that) so i'm just gonna go from my memory and kinda summarize what i think abt him...

gonna add a read more line bc this gets long!

Uh, btw please no hostility i'm not trying to start arguments, these are just my thoughts i really wanted to get out there. i'm definitely no therapist or psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, this is the view of just an average reader who retains a lot of info [tho still manages to miss details at times]. Anyway if you have info you think i should have addressed, reply and i'll make additions if i agree/want to expand on the info presented to me!

So, WWX and JC have a weird thing going on, it's not exactly brothers but they definitely wanted that, the reason why i say they aren't solidly brothers is because i'm pretty sure Madam Yu has influenced JC from the start of his arrival which is why he doesn't call wwx a-xian or Wei Ying or A-Ying- Why he doesn't allow himself to let loose properly around anyone even in private, why he constantly scolds wwx, etc. i believe firmly he's been quite influenced by his parents due to him being the next sect heir and the pressure that comes from it, as well as what he feels like madam yu is correct on- wwx is uncle jiang's favorite.

Madam Yu still chides Yanli for doing domestic acts for WWX but not on the same level as JC, who is constantly under pressure by her to be the perfect heir to the sect. She wants him to be better than WWX, which of course affects all of the family but Yanli gets left out of the fire a bit, which i think is what gives her such a strength to do these supportive acts for the brothers [and why she's also both the brother's favorite. She's basically the mom they wish for. Supportive, understanding, and helps mediate them]. Though this is a burden she has to bear, it's not that big of a burden to her because she loves the two so much.

Jiang Fengmian... i might be spelling his name wrong, so i'll call him Uncle Jiang cuz it will be faster for me to type with no mistakes haha. Anyway, I have complicated feelings about him.

At first i thought he was great and did no wrong, but that was on my first pass and when i had just watched the donghua only. My opinion of him since i read the novel isn't bad, but it's not super good. He's in a complicated position! There's only so much he can do about his wife, they argue super often and while its not usually crazy loud, it's pretty intense. [also, i'm not sure if separation is really a thing that happened back then, i think that's really a modern thing.] I feel like we're likely seeing Uncle Jiang's will to fight dimmed down by the wear of time.

Consider: you have a family member who won't ever listen to what you say, regardless how sound your argument is- you can be completely in the right and have all the facts, but no matter how long you press on, the result never changes. Do you put in the same amount of effort for the rest of your life? No! You understand that no matter how much you argue that their answer will remain the same. I personally have a family member like this, and while i defend myself regularly, it does not go anywhere. That is the nature of some people, no matter what they may not treat your view with the respect it deserves.

anyway back to the main line here, i dont think wwx is wrong about what he said regarding JF to JC. "he's just hard on you cuz you're going to be sect leader" or whatever it was along those lines- WWX does not seem like the type to lie to make someone feel better and i think this is why JC appreciates that conversation so much (besides the heartfelt twin prides which is obviously something that stuck to him for a long time). And i agree, JF is definitely trying to prepare Jiang Cheng for his position as sect leader one day.

do i think Uncle Jiang is completely guilt free of favoritism? No absolutely not, he canonically holds wwx more as a child, which i think is hard to argue against- but i do think the context of that is missed in part by most. WWX may have been a bright kid with sun shining out his ass but he was also a scared kid that just got rescued off the streets after his parents never came home. A kid that was fighting for food from dogs and likely starving and scared because he was on the street for like 5 years [if i remember it was from age 4 to 9 in the novel]. Of course he got held a bit more- i can't imagine he would be completely unphased immediately upon arrival, at least with his Uncle Jiang who was totally willing to provide him comfort- which wwx probably desperately missed from his now dead parents. We know canonically that the memory of those parents, however small, is unreplaceable and dear to wwx- but having JF treat him dearly is truly a balm to what has happened to him.

I'm not gonna say JC didn't go through things that made him cry and want to be held, in fact if WWX came into the house and suddenly got a lot of attention, it's going to feel pretty shitty for JC! Of course this combined with abruptly losing his privacy and puppies was what initially had him pushing the other away, but as you could see, after WY breaks his leg after running off and they make up, they get really close and despite this looming responsibility and family troubles, the two are very bonded. imo making them look like 6 year olds in the donghua is an injustice to their relationship, because 9 year olds tend tend to have more emotional intelligence (?) at that age. I'm not sure how to phrase that, but basically making them look younger and act like giggling children took away from the scene a bit for me lol. Jc is old enough to realize he doesn't dislike wwx! This isn't a child quickly getting over his anger, he's young here yes, but he's decided in this moment that he cares about this new member of the family, despite being called the son of a servant. [which yes madam yu is once again influencing his view of this segregation but i think he is much better at ignoring this particular in his youth]

I am rambling more than i thought i would lmao- i have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i think it's skipped over so much

um, i'm not sure which direction i was going in before i went onto the parents. Let's skip forward.

lotus pier fell and not only did JC see wwx get humiliated and whipped and nearly disfigured, his mother who he was about to lose blamed wwx for so much. When you lose a family member you have an attachment to, whether it bad or good, this influences your thoughts about them and with no way to resolve said thoughts. i find this hard to explain, so i'm just going to hope you understand what i'm referring to here. Especially in ancient china though, i believe it's a big thing to hold such a high regard for your parents, but especially if they have passed? i can't say this is fact but i believe that is the case i just am sticking to my memory here. So these things in combination with Trauma, i believe starts this heavy, negative emotion in JC that is hard to unstick.

JC and WWX may get into a one-sided scuffle but soon after they cry together like children. They just experienced hundreds of lives lost- people they grew up with and trained with and cared for as well as the people who provided and cared for them- their family was unstable, but still was a family and support system- now they had only two people and one of them was far away, the one that was typically their pillar. I feel like a lot of people hold JC to an impossible standard in his situation- having a bad day and taking it out on someone is one thing, going through a traumatic massacre i think allows someone to get a bit unreasonable [though of course nearly choking him was quite far, remember, he's extremely unstable emotionally at this point].

"WWX didn't do that though!" of course not. WWX is a different person with a different personality, is older (though i don't know by how much), and is extremely resilient, but he does process his trauma just differently. As you see over and over in the novel, wwx goes through many things others wouldn't dream of, but he starts acting differently even before the golden core removal, not only after. He's going through the same things, but i'm pretty sure no one reacts to trauma the same way to the T. JC's just happens to be misplaced anger, which is probably way too simple a way to put it, but anyway...wwx also gets angry. very angry. The two both have the correct target of anger in the end, despite Jc's breakdown. He still harbors his mother's words, but at this point they're still in the background of his mind.

Now again we go forward- JC willingly sacrifices himself for WWX. Look, if he doesn't like wwx at all i think this is extremely contradictory. even if he was s*icidal, he could have chose other ways to get to that end if that was the case. and a gentle reminder that JC perks back up and is ready to fight once he believes WWX knows how to fix his core! i don't think he was truly wanting to die or anything like that until he thought he had lost everything except wwx and jyl. He believes in wwx's strength despite his constant fear of inferiority, so if he was gone, what would it matter if wwx was there to continue to protect yanli?

Essentially he was like 'well what are we going to do if i can't lead the sect? We would be in a homeless situation and there is a war.' aka there's not a lot of hope all around, i don't think he was only upset about the core, but it was definitely the main force because if he didn't have a core, how would he survive what was happening anyway? he's like 'if i'm gonna die let it be on my terms' yk? He also doesn't feel like he's strong enough before he lost his core to protect anyone. Without it? fat chance.

whew... this is a lot already, so maybe i'll post this and do a part two later addressing YLLZ arc, then the "present" one. i just have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i'm sad to see so much negativity around him...JC is quite flawed, but a lot of the characters are flawed! that doesn't make them bad characters, it makes them interesting and human.

[eventuallyaugust]

eleven | pink tulips (written)

several years ago

"hey, hey, are you okay?"

hyunjae didn't get a response from the crying student and bit her lip, thinking of several things to comfort the latter before an idea barged inside her mind and she immediately ran away in a hurry.

the student sniffled as she wiped her eyes and her gaze followed the troublemaker's leaving figure as she then fell to her thoughts, tears still running down her face.

"hey, i'm back!" the sniffling student jumped, startled before she turned to the tall figure in front of her and saw the latter holding several pink tulips out to her which looks like were freshly picked from the ground, more like a certain garden. "sorry for scaring you and probably interrupting you, but i was worried when i saw you out here."

the student knew the person. everyone in seoul high knew her, of course. ahn hyunjae, one of the most prominent troublemakers in their year. the latter is known for scheming pranks who she deemed deserve such treatment and seeing hyunjae in front of her with flowers in her hand makes the student feel something.

not sure what, but it's something.

"it's getting cold, you know. it's not cool to stay out here, toots. you're gonna freeze." hyunjae untied the sleeves of her school jacket around her waist before she carefully draped it over the unnamed student's shoulders, careful not to damage the flowers. she then sat beside the latter, putting a respectable distance between them. "i don't know you personally or anything, but...

"i hope these flowers could cheer you up. i don't know any other flower anyone could be into, so i hope my favorite type of flower would be enough for you."

silence ensued between the pair before the student looked at the flowers being held out to her before she carefully grabbed them from hyunjae who was trying not to smile from the interaction.

the troublemaker saw the stranger's lips move but she didn't hear anything what the latter. "i'm sorry, but could you repeat it again? i didn't quite catch what you said."

"thank you." hyunjae smiled and nodded before the girl added, keeping her gaze on the tulips as a smirk gradually formed on her face. "it was nice of you to get me flowers as a way to cheer me up, although i have a feeling where you got this from."

the girl then met the troublemaker's eyes knowingly and the latter immediately got flustered, looking away in a haste manner with her ears turning red also. the girl then giggled and forced herself to look away from hyunjae who turned redder than before.

"well, you see... fuck— fineee, yes, i picked them from the school garden. i might get scolded by the principal again, but it'll be worth it knowing it made you feel better. so... did i make you feel better, even for a bit? or did i just earn myself a worthless scolding?"

"well, i shouldn't encourage you to picking the flowers from the school garden, but yes. you succeeded on making me feel better and i appreciate the thought of you putting an effort to do so. your action wasn't worthless, so thank you."

hyunjae shrugged, looking forward. "of course, you need someone and i don't know if you're relieved i was that someone since i'm not really the great person to be interacting with, but i'll try my best to at least make you feel better."

the student's eyes flickered to the tulips before looking back at hyunjae in curiosity. "why are you doing this?"

"well, if no one will be nice to you," hyunjae spoke and turned to the student. "then who will?"

the troublemaker then stood up and dusted her pants off before facing the girl and flashing the latter a smile.

usually, hyunjae always wears a mischievous smile on her face whenever the student see hyunjae and her friend group in the hallway, but now, it's a different smile. instead of mischief, it's filled with softness the student didn't imagine to see in her life (although she admit there might be instances that she could see hyunjae's other types of smile other than mischief).

"anyone deserves kindness, even to a stranger like you. we might not talk occassionally or belong to the same class together, but it shouldn't be a hindrance to show you some respect and kindness. it won't be the end of me if i just decided to show this side to you, especially when you need a friendly face at this moment."

hyunjae scratched her nape and turned away, hiding her flustered state. "although yes, i admit that my approach to you was kind of awkward and too sudden, so i'm sorry for that."

"it's okay. you were... uhm, kind of cute earlier."

hyunjae chuckled with a shake of her head and turned to the stranger before winking at her. "thanks for the compliment. i kept telling my friends that fact but they always say otherwise, instead of acknowledging it."

the latter shook her head while trying not to giggle, her fingers gently holding the tulips. "i definitely understand now why they did the opposite."

hyunjae whined and pouted, playfully crossing her arms. "you better take that. i'm cute, you already said it. i don't accept takebacks."

"wait, before anything else, i need to ask you something." the troublemaker nodded. "do... do you know me?"

"yeah." the student gulped and her hold on the flowers grew a bit tighter.

"oh, really?"

"yeah, you're kim fucking minju." the said student raised a brow at the sudden profanity. "one of seoul high's top performing students in year 8 and won several competitions. everyone knows that you embody the school pride along with choi yeonjun and are friends with five other students."

what?

"you know, you're probably the most mentioned student in our year by how much i kept hearing your name in the whole school, whether it may be in the hallways, classrooms, the gymnasium, or the library. heck, even mrs. yang talks about you to me one time i borrowed a book."

minju narrowed her eyes at hyunjae. "now that you met me, what's your impression of me after just seeing me at my lowest?"

hyunjae blinked at the sudden change of aura and tilted her head, meeting minju's eyes. "i still see you as a hardworking student, kim minju."

"why? perhaps you at least think of me as—"

"stop asking me more questions." hyunjae crouched down and looked at minju in the eyes.

"look, just because you showed your feelings to me doesn't mean i would change the way i see you. i'm aware that before you were a top student, the subject of several people's infatuations, and seoul high's pride, you were and are still a human first. it's not wrong to seek solitude and unpack the raging emotions inside of you, especially when it started to become unbearable to carry it every day. you're being human the moment i saw you, nothing else. end of discussion."

"how did you—"

"know?" minju nodded. "let's just say that i used to be in the same situation as you."

minju furrowed her brows and tilted her head, making hyunjae shake her head and wave her hand dismissively. "let's not dwell in the past anymore and just focus on the present. now come on, i heard that today's lunch is special. it's a shame if we missed it."

----

"why?"

hyunjae held herself back from breaking down in the restaurant as she had a tight grip on the table, her eyes getting glossy each second pass by. she has her eyes focus on minju who was nonchalant at the statement the latter had told her. she still has the nerve to eat after saying the words hyunjae kept hearing in her mind like a broken record.

"why, minju? why are you doing this?"

"it's—"

"did i do something wrong? if i did, please tell me what it is. i can make this right, just don't..." hyunjae gulped and licked her lips, blinking the tears away. she whispered, putting the chopsticks down. "just don't break up with me, please."

"i'm sorry, jae, but i can't do what you want. i want to break up with you for a long time now."

"... since when?"

"a week ago." hyunjae flinched and her lips twisted in displeasure. she huffed out and shook her head in dissatisfaction, running a hand through her hair. "look, it's nothing personal—"

hyunjae immediately stood up and looked at minju accusingly, subconsciously raising her voice. "what do you mean by nothing personal? it's fucking personal, minju. it always has been. you of all people should know that. i thought you're fucking smart, but i guess that trait of yours went down the drain after several years."

"not my fault you're childish, hyunjae."

the woman felt herself stop moving as the rage in her eyes disappeared like a huge flame being vanished by fire extinguisher, replacing it with the shivering coldness and a frigid mask appearing over her face. hyunjae looked down at minju with disdain as she pursed her lips into a thin line before snickering with a shake of her head. "well, good riddance to you too, minju. expect my things to be gone when you came back home tomorrow."

hyunjae left her seat and grabbed her things including the flowers she bought for her now ex-girlfriend with her back facing the latter. she refused to give the latter one last look, thinking she might have a breakdown right there and then. she already had caused a scene, she doesn't want to further escalate the situation even more. "'bye, loser."

minju nonchalantly watched hyunjae's retreating figure walk to the front door and hop inside the latter's car, waiting for the latter to drive away before she looked back at the unfinished tteokbokki in hyunjae's side as tears began rushing up to her eyes, blurring the view she had of her ex-girlfriend's side of the table.

just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and massaged the area, the sense of disgust immediately accumulating in her chest. she then heard a voice behind her, sensing the boastful tone in them. "good job, minju. i'm so proud of you for listening to me. you don't need that woman to get successful, sweetheart. you just need yourself."

minju remained unmoving, her mind being too tired and too preoccupied with hyunjae. she now felt tears freely rushing down her face with her shoulders sagging on each side, her thoughts mostly filled with apologies for the woman she caused so much pain the latter didn't deserve.

i hope you can find the courage in you to forgive me for what i did in the future, baby. i'm so sorry, hyunjae.

"minju, minju, minju!"

the said woman blinks and jerks her head back at the mention of her name before looking around to see the worried glances her friends are throwing at her. "are you okay? what's wrong? you left us for a moment there."

the florist then flashed her friends a smile and waved her hands dismissively. "i'm fine, i'm fine. it's okay, there's nothing wrong. don't worry, girls."

"okay, if you say so..."

how long can i keep this act up, especially now that hyunjae is back?

----

summary: when batch '16 decides to hold a high school reunion, minju decides it was a good idea to tag along with her friends to attend the event, but a good decision before is a bad decision now if it means encountering her old high school sweetheart and first love, ahn hyunjae.

----

taglist (open!!): @awkwardtoafault , @kimsgayness , @dream-chasers-things

ten | masterlist | twelve

[hazzascul]

Sometimes I go crazy because of my parents.

I'm sure you do too.

Because their expectations even today are so fucking high, and they make me feel really, REALLY shitty after I don't do something that they wanted. They don't appreciate me much, because they think too much of it would go to my head.

I'm never, NEVER in my life ever heard my parents say "I'm proud of you" or "I love you". Never. And I understand that people have different love languages and shit but sometimes they make me feel like they don't have one.

Then one day, my mom goes all out and asks me why I don't share everything with her, or why I'm not her best friend or why I never say I love you to her, or anyone for that matter. And in that moment, all of the times when she didn't listen to me when I shared something, pretended that I don't exist, just rambled on about her day and problems without ever asking about mine. I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt, whenever I'm saying something, she randomly cuts me off, or changed the subject, or comments about how I look, or my body.

It's their fucking fault that I never knew how to say I loved someone. And I'll always unconditionally love them with all my heart, I'd put my life in danger for them, and I'd do anything to keep them safe and happy and comfortable.

But that's not enough! Sometimes, we need to hear words of appreciation, sometimes we need more love than presents because they fucking don't mean anything if I don't spend time with you for God sakes! Not every kid has their ass up their head, or get spoiled if you love them too much, because that doesn't exist. It hadn't happened for so many years, and it won't happen ever.

I am truly grateful, for what they give me, how much they sacrifice to give me and keep me the most comfortable, but man! I don't want that, I just want your attention sometimes, I'd be a lot happier with that than any present you could ever give me.

So, if there's any parents here, please, please I beg you, appreciate your child when they do good things, support them when they fail, and it doesn't hurt to say I love you once in a while yk. Tell them you're proud of them when they're feeling low. And don't always deny them of going out, because it's not always to fuck around, sometimes they need to be with someone who understands them better than you do.

It's hurts to hear, but their friends are more of a help than you can be. If you want that place in your child life, you have to take efforts too, you can't just magically gain that position. Denying them every single time is only gonna sow a seed of resentment for you in their hearts.

And others, I know how it feels to feel like your parents don't love you, or underestimate your problems or don't give you enough credit. If you ever wanna talk about, I'll always be here, for whoever is reading this, if you wanna rant and talk about stuff.

And if anyone doesn't tell you, I will, you're enough, I support you, I love you, and I'll always try to be there for you.

All the love,

Kats❤️