#my last post of 2023 so going out with a bang

[muthaz-rapapa]

Otona Precure '23: The Sequel We ACTUALLY Deserve

Let's not mince words.

Otona Precure wasn't just fantastic, it puts every reboot or sequel of an established series to shame.

Because yea, it's primarily aimed at an older audience alright but the issues and the themes discussed in the story are relatable and relevant to everyone's interests, regardless of age.

That reality is much harsher than we think it is, more than we can comprehend. That the world will never be perfect like we want it to be.

But also that, because we're on this planet right now at this very moment, we can't just sit around and resign ourselves to not do anything as situations continue to worsen.

Pollution, climate change, toxic society, war.

The show did not shy away from addressing these topics but what's even more notable is it pointing out that people, humans, are the source of them all.

And I appreciate the honesty of that statement because yes, frankly, we are the problem.

People are selfish. We indulge too much in ourselves, our own egos, that we are blinded to the welfare of others. We are also lazy and discriminating and even those who say we'd like things to be better often give up too easily because searching for a solution is too hard and daunting.

Mankind is the shittiest species to walk upon this earth and no one's gonna argue on that.

But does that make everyone inherently bad though?

No, of course not.

We're flawed beings but we're also capable of learning. We're capable of understanding and compassion. There are many among us who do try our best to make this world a kinder and more beautiful place to live in.

But as the finale shows, it cannot only be these few people (like Precure) to do all the hauling and pushing. Everybody has to pitch in. Everybody has to contribute for a better world to be possible.

And that doesn't mean tackling a conflict that's a lot bigger than you can handle. That doesn't mean you have to go at it all alone.

It means that you have to change the way you are, change the way you do things to get the ball rolling. Only by changing yourself first that you can begin to change your surroundings, not the other way around.

It's only through the collective effort of everyone wanting to change for the better that we can protect what we love and create the future that we envision.

Precure is meant to inspire that will to act which is best exemplified in Nozomi. Cure Dream, the Precure of Hope.

Nozomi stands out among the many lead Cures we've had over the years in the quality of leadership she displays as the head of her own team.

She is not the brightest nor sharpest person in any group but damn, does that girl woman never give up.

Not even when she pushes herself to the brink that she falls unconscious from fatigue several times did she ever consider the thought of giving up.

And that's exactly what makes her such a strong and effective leader.

It's not because she's been put into that position so she's only functioning as one.

It's because she inspires everyone around her to become the leaders of their own lives which would then repeatedly bring about the butterfly effect in people beyond their own circle.

Additionally, we must applaud at how well the themes of adulthood and personal struggle have been explored. Look at the girls! Look at how much they've grown, how much they've progressed from the time they were still just middle schoolers dreaming of what they want to be in the future.

(GODDAMNIT, MILK BECAME THE PRIME MINISTER OF HER HOME COUNTRY, I'M STILL NOT OVER THAT AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!)

They've accomplished so much and you can't help but be incredibly proud of how far they've come on their individual journeys.

But now that they're adults, they also realize just how difficult it is to keep the optimism they had when they were kids. Things don't always go the way you want them to. Real life is stressful and exhausting and the accumulation of all those negative feelings of helplessness is enough to send anyone into depression.

As an adult, you're constantly asking yourself "is it really worth it?" because you don't want to betray the hopes you had as a child but sometimes, it's just too hard that all you want to do is give up.

...and that's okay if you need to for a while.

Take a break, go talk to someone you can trust if you feel you've really hit rock bottom.

Find a secure, safe space to cry it all out if you have to.

It's okay to not be okay all the time.

Because that's pretty much what adulthood is.

Being an adult is not about doing everything but knowing you can't do everything and telling yourself that's okay. Because you're already doing everything you can. Your best is good enough.

It's good enough for one person. Nobody's asking you to save the world or become a magical girl to fight off monsters or resolve a major crisis with a miracle answer.

You just need to do your part of the whole in the best way you can. That's all.

And I believe Bell knows that as well.

She knows that just because today's worst was averted, it doesn't mean we're out of the doom radar yet. Because she's right. Humans still can't be trusted as proven by that after-credits scene. There are still plenty of jerks out there who don't give a damn about how much harm they're adding to the world.

But she also knows that as long as there is someone like Precure to do their part, to yell at those jerks to pick up their trash, then maybe, maybe, not all hope is lost just yet.

And so she leaves with the words "I'll be waiting for you in the future", hoping that what the Cures have taught her to believe won't betray her when that time comes.

That said, for us longtime fans of the series, Otona Precure is also a love letter.

A project of appreciation to us for the past 20 years of love and support we've given this franchise.

And I'd say we got what we wanted because before the announcement of this spin-off, I didn't think Toei would ever care to redeem Yes! 5 Precure on how badly it performed during its two seasons run.

Yet here we are and even 100 times better than the original.

They cut out all the fillers which was the primary flaw of those two seasons and focused entirely on the characters. The girls and the expansion of their story arcs. The stuff we actually want to see.

Moreover, the writers did a very great job of showing how everyone has matured. For example, Rin and Karen outgrew their bickering and even the uncalled for vitriol that Kurumi always directed at Nozomi is nowhere to be found.

Seriously! I laughed so hard when Kurumi switched the target of her criticism from Nozomi to Coco. I don't think we've ever seen her this concerned and sympathetic towards Nozomi to the point that she didn't even hesitate to yell at her superior to "cut it with your responsibilities crap and go comfort your lonely girlfriend, you idiot king!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Everyone is just incredibly supportive of each other and that's so heartwarming.

I also personally loved how they dealt with Komachi's episode, which introduced a sort of sub-theme of one's love for their hometown.

Komachi has always aspired to become a writer and it would've been fine to go down the route of getting her out of her slump.

But having Komachi put in effort for her community, learn about the history of her town, and becoming determined to defend it after her strengthened appreciation fit with the overarching theme and her personality so much better.

The inclusion of Splash Star into this story was awesome, too.

If I can be honest, I don't think Saki and Mai would've done as well as Otona Precure if they had 12 episodes only to themselves (including Michiru and Kaoru, btw). So by giving them a fair amount of screentime next to the Yes!5 girls, the show just felt more complete with their conclusions.

They're still chasing their respective dreams, had their relationship troubles (and Saki got engaged to her boyfriend/fiance who seems like a very good guy judging by how he's supportive of her going to Luxembourg, ugh so happy for her!) and career doubts but are still as close as ever which allowed them to pull through in the end.

Wonderful.

Finally, let's all agree that no anniversary season is complete unless proper spotlight is given to the dai-senpai Precure, FutariWa.

Maybe that's why 10th anniversary was such a dud?

They didn't get as much screentime as they did during the 15th anniversary (which included two episodes in Hugtto and sharing the main lead role with Hana/Cure Yell in the All Stars movie) but they still made a grand entrance in the penultimate ep of Otona Precure and kicked absolute ass in the finale and that's really all that matters.

So good job, Toei!

And ok, finally finally, NozoCoco officially got 💖MARRIED💖

Romance is not a vital aspect of Precure nor does it ever have to be because focusing on friendship and teamwork is still the most important aspect when it comes to this series...

But only a stupid numbskull would say Coco is unnecessary to Nozomi's happiness because he's the biggest reason she was able to become who she is today. The fact that she even tells him, right after she woke up from her coma, that she needs him to truly be happy is a proof of how irreplaceable he is to her.

She doesn't ask him to be with her because she needs a man. She wants him to marry her because he brings out the best in her. Because he is the one person who can understand her better than anyone else can and the one person whom she wants to share the rest of her life with.

Remember that Nozomi was inspired by Coco. She became Precure, became Cure Dream, because she met him. She aspired to become a teacher because of him. The butterfly effect for her began with him.

For them to overcome all these obstacles to their relationship and promise to be there for one another, through all the good and bad...it's the fulfillment of a dream they both deserve.

And the perfect ending to Yes! 5 Precure.

So congratulations to Yes!5 and Splash Star on an amazing sequel.

Congratulations to Precure for these precious 20 years you've given us.

Here's hoping to more successful years ahead.

See you in the new year!

[fantasykiri5]

My third and final piece for the @hermitshippingbigbang !!!! This one was a DOOZEY it took a while, but it was SO fun!!!

This has been such a blast, and you should totally go read the FIC this piece accompanies and check out the other artist’s works as well!!!

// piece one // piece two // piece three (you are here!) //

Flat color version under the cut

[simplydnp]

be honest with me. what are the chances of a hard launch in june

anon this question goes back years. and the thing is. we have been right once before.

you ask me this this time last year? fuck no. i might even quip that dapg would come back before dnp would hard launch. well. look at us now.

and even then, you look back on the content they started with in the revival--it honestly kind of felt exactly like where we left off, only a lot more explicitly queer (we stan). and then... trying to see without my glasses 2. and bang, spooky week happened. and that shifted the balance. we suddenly got slo-mo replays of handholds. day, after day, after day, finishing with the absolute masterpiece of halloween baking cinnamon rolls. in all honesty it was so much more than i'd've ever expected from them. truly another post-baking universe.

and it never really slowed down. suddenly we had cat prom photos, catboy butlers, catboy dan w/ phil photography credit, theyre 'wrestling' --running us full throttle into gamingmas, the first since 2017. and every day we had a new thing to freak out over: standing close. golf jokes. and then... pinof reacts. i don't know what compelled them to do it but i do have speculations. genuinely, i think they wanted to defang a lot of their history. we treated pinof 1, especially, with this... reverance. and it wasn't talked about too publicly--and dnp didnt do it either. so if they really wanted to move on, to bring down the walls, open the floodgates, define this new era: they had to throw the first stone. and they did. quite heartily too. suddenly this almost taboo part of their history--almost too intimate to be perceived--was on the table. and we were talking about it. joking about it. giving clear signals of 'we see it, it's okay.' and suddenly we existed in a post-pinof reacts world. of anything, i would've never predicted they would've done that. absolutely wild. follow that with it takes two being so chill and fond. incohearant being so blatant and heartfelt. trombone champ being unhinged and chaotic. the genuine and sweet complimenting of each other in the red carpet video. devan wedding... happilyphoreverafter... we crashed forward in time. never knowing what would be next. where is the line? how far will they go.

they teased us with japhan honeymoon and we knew 2024 would be wild. but we didn't know how much. from wdapteo 2023, to specific reminiscing about japan w/ devan, WAD happening, and phil playing a huge role in it all--from the orange carpet hosting, to 'ive been in *sex noises* with phil from the start!', to 'remote crisis manager phil lester', to dan saying he can stay during the thank you.

one of the biggest videos so far this year was the tiktok likes one. i will be forever haunted by the dog eating cheeseburger and willy wonka tiktoks--theres some things i was never meant to know. and yet. they tell us. explicitly.

every single video on amazingphil since the return of dapg has mentioned or featured dan. there's been a palpable shift in the way they interact. have you seen the way phil has been glowing in videos lately? this guy is on cloud nine all the time. it's really not hard to see why.

the energy of keep or yeet w/ dan... the absolute Lack of pretense of it all. phan twitter... watch your step baby girl...

dan and phil fucking crafts. talk about an unexpected return. legacy defining, one might even say. we're still in this tailspin of what everything means and they drop this insanely iconic video on us. from the storytelling to the production to the aesthetic--and its all capped off by explicit handholding. yes, it was part of the sacrifice. but hand in hand, the heart dan ripped from phils chest in one, and the knife that did it in the other... oh boy. we're really in it now. and then they put it on fucking merch. genius. truly no one does it like them.

and the foot has been on the accelerator since. dan and phil connections, shuffleboard & mocktails, getting deep slumber party, acknowledgement & approval of fics (yes previously given but never like this)--hell, even the sims today was wild for 'is their love language horrible banter 👀'.

you didn't ask for an essay but i gave you one. all of this to say, they've been moving the line. quite intentionally so. they intentionally revived their joint branding. they are 'dan and phil' again, and seem happier than ever about it, and i think that means something. they're saying things they never would have before--out of the closet or not.

as for june... 5 years since coming out is a big deal. so is this year being 15 years of dnp. hell, so is this year for being the first out pride month where they're explicitly a duo and regularly making content together. they're sentimental, there will be something.

my craziest idea is reacting to their coming out videos ✌️😔 --but i don't think it'll actually happen. as for more realistic, i could see pride merch. and however that goes will be significant, in my opinion. i'm excited and curious.

i don't know if they'll hard launch. it's hard to put all of the implications, complications, and speculations back into the box once it's opened. dan's talked about it before--wanting to be able to fuck up and not be publically executed, instead, being able to learn and grow and work it out. i think that's a very understandable stance to have. very grounded. we'd have to ask him if tour/dapg has changed that now. i do think he's had some sort of life epiphany--whether it's about that specifically, only he can say. but i think it's there.

even if i portray a lot of level-headedness, i wear my clown nose with pride. sometimes the only option is to go with whatever is funniest at the time. they're both jokesters, so they could commit to a bit like that. but it's also like, it can be too serious for them to want to joke about. i don't know. i think we're in this almost beautiful state right now--the we know you know of it all. there's no expectations, no demands to be met, no obligations of types of content. they're happy. we're happy. it depends on if they feel ready. if they want to. we'll be here, always.

[goldtheorys]

Flufftober day 10: Gift giving

Ticci toby x gn reader

_Hiiiii sorry for disappearing I’ve never posted my writing before (cause I haven’t written in like years lol) so I haven’t felt that dedicated.

_Using the 2023 flufftober cause I like it the best

══════════════════ -`♡´-

Lately, you had noticed Toby seemed to be a bit down. He had become more clingy as of late, but his gaze was always downcast. He rarely responded to your words with more than a hum and a nod. You had to check on him more than often to see if he had ate, drank and slept. You urged him to go on walks with you, to play a video game with you, but they only seemed to lift his mood for a short while.

It hurt to see him in such a depressive state. An idea had popped into your head from something he had been rambling about before. After scouring through a few stores, you had a small but hopefully meaningful group of gifts, put in a simple beige basket you had hastefully grabbed from a clearance aisle. Hurrying back home to him, you fumbled with the door for a moment before scurrying in.

No sounds signaled Toby had gotten up to greet you, so you carefully held the basket behind yourself, creeping through your small but comfortable shared home. Peeking around corners, you finally found him on the couch in the living room. At first you had mistaken him to be asleep, but when the floor creaked under your weight he lifted his head, looking at you under his eyelashes.

“Hello, lovely” you murmur, shifting to make sure the gifts would stay hidden until their grand reveal.

He sat up fully now, pushing his bangs back to look at you more clearly. He blinked a few times before his vision focused, and his gaze immediately locked on how you suspiciously held your hands behind your back.

“Hey. What you g-got there?” he inquires, slinging an arm over the couch as he rests his head on top of the cushion, face slightly smooshed.

You laughed lightly before pulling your hands from behind your back, presenting the hastily made gift basket. He lifted his head in curiosity, peering into it. He smiled once he viewed the contents, hand reaching out to gently take it from you. You walked over and slid into the spot next to him, leaning against his arm as he sat the box in his lap to sort through your presents, his face finally beaming with joy. He was still quiet, only noting something about a gift when he found it particularly pleasing, but it was all you needed to know your trip was a success.

The last thing he took out was a movie, gasping when he saw the cover to realize it was his most recent favorite. He turned to you, eyes crinkling at the edges as he wrapped you in a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, grinning from ear to ear.

“I take it you liked all of them?” You question as you pull back, hands still resting on his waist.

“No, I hate ‘em,” he replies sarcastically before planting a kiss on your cheek.

Ah, well, at least this obviously helped make his day. In the meantime, you should probably go start making popcorn. Toby had already walked over to the disc player to watch the movie.

══════════════════ -`♡´-

_Yuuuuck this is so bad. I kinda rushed it and tbh had trouble with how to go about the gift giving prompt, but hopefully it’s still enjoyable!

(⌒_⌒;) hope I can keep up and write some more stuff like this throughout the month.

_PS sorry for how short it is 😧 I’ll try to make them longer from now on

[candysims4]

MODULAR SET

A small but adorable set with four items: 1 hair, 1 top, 1 "dress," and a pair of earrings.

THE FULL CREATOR’S NOTES IS BELOW THE CUT.

ALL ITEMS ARE:

TEEN TO ELDER

BASE GAME COMPATIBLE

MADE FOR FEMALE FRAME

DISALLOWED FOR RANDOM

360º GIFs & THUMBNAILS (HOSTED IN IMGUR)

LOLA HAIR

HAT GAME COMPATIBLE

3.730 POLYGONS

119 SWATCH COLORS - 24 plain colors from EA Color Palette - 95 plain colors from my Candy Color Palette

YOU WILL FIND IN LONG HAIR OR/AND STRAIGHT OR/AND UPDO

AMANDA EARRINGS

1.920 POLYGONS

65 SWATCH COLORS - 10 metallic colors - 55 plastic colors

YOU WILL FIND IN ACCESSORIES/EARRINGS

ROSALIA TOP

3.492 POLYGONS

95 SWATCH COLORS - 55 plain colors - 40 patterned

YOU WILL FIND IN TOP/BLOUSE

ROSALIA (DRESS) SKIRT

1.112 POLYGONS

95 SWATCH COLORS - 55 plain colors - 40 patterned

YOU WILL FIND IN BOTTOM/SKIRT

MY SITE (NO AD.FLY): LOLA HAIR | AMANDA EARRINGS (TWO VERSIONS) | ROSALIA TOP & (DRESS) SKIRT Free release on 3rd October 2023

PATREON EARLY ACCESS + MERGED OPTIONS

TERMS OF USE | SEND YOUR FEEDBACK | REPORT AN ISSUE

Thanks to all the cc creators that I used in the pic. And thanks to @maxismatchccworld, @simblrcollective, @s4library​, @wewantmods​, and everybody who reblog this post!

If you’re a cc finds and want to be tagged when I post, please, let me know. You can send me an ask or in DM.

With your help, more people can know about my work! 💖 Love you all, XOXO 💖

CREATOR'S NOTE:

As I was brainstorming ideas for a new outfit, I asked myself a simple question: "Why not create a modular outfit like I did with hair before?" This inspired me to design a dress with a top outfit that can be easily paired with other items, as both pieces can be worn separately. I know this might sound a little unconventional, but I just wanted to mix things up and try something new. I hope you're cool with my different ways of doing things and that you're able to put together some really cool outfits.

The "Rosalia (Dress) Skirt" is in the skirt category, and you know what's great about it? You can mix and match it with other stuff or even with some CC, and it still works like a charm. I personally think it looks cute and works well with sweaters, making it an excellent choice for fall outfits. I plan on creating some sweater looks with this dress in the future.

I've included a few examples to give you an idea of how it can be styled, but feel free to make it your own. Check out the photos on the site.

Rest assured that all the items are categorized correctly, but that doesn't take away from their individual shine.

I was so torn between the plastic and metal swatches/specs for "Amanda Earrings" that I just went for both! They're seriously gorgeous and go with pretty much any outfit.

Last but not least, the "Lola Hair". This cute and romantic low pony with a pretty bang adds the perfect finishing touch to the whole look. It's a versatile hairstyle that can work with different outfits, occasions, and moods.

And as ever, all these items have been made to be worn together or separately - whatever you decide! I hope you like these items and enjoy playing with them. XOXO <33

[zenkindoflove]

Tomorrow is my one-year anniversary returning to writing fanfic. This is going to be a bit of a sappy post reflecting on the last year and celebrating some of my wins/new things I've challenged myself to do.

October 17, 2023 is when I started to write the very first chapter of Burn Forever with Me. I had finished the ACOTAR series about two weeks before and had spent those two weeks reading all the Elucien fic I could. I could feel I had a story in me, so I set out to write it in a month thinking that would be it and I would get it out of my system.

It had been a while since I had written. From 2006-2012 I wrote fanfic very regularly across a few different fandoms. Most of those stories can't be found online anymore. I took a three year hiatus from my Big Bang Theory multichapter fic at the end of 2012, and didn't finish it until 2015 when I had a burst of motivation. I didn't write again until another burst of motivation hit me (Game of Thrones ending) and wrote another one-shot in 2019.

By this point in 2023, I kind of thought my fanfic writing days were behind me. I didn't expect this new resurgence in my life that came about because of this series/this ship. I've tried so many new things writing for this fandom and pushed my writing in directions I never anticipated.

Since last year I have... -published 441,592 words. -published 20 fics (a mix of multichapter and one-shots) -completed four multichapter long fics (huge for me because I used to abandon multichapter fics all the time in my first era) -Written for several ships, including rare pairs, not just my OTP which is all I did in the past -Created many OCs, including my focal OC Alexius. Up until now I thought I was kind of hopeless when it came to writing original characters. -Wrote fanfic for three appreciation weeks -Wrote MM smut for the first time, and lots of it. I have been reading MM smut for two decades, but did not have a calling to write for a specific ship until Eris x Alexius -Co-written two fics with @crazy-ache -pushed myself in what styles of writing I tackle, including writing epistolary for the first time as well as challenging myself to write action/fight scenes which always scared me in the past -world building in general also used to scare me and now I think it feels so much more approachable as I've been filling in SJM's holes. -I think my smut writing has evolved a lot too. While I wrote smut in the past and I think I established what my writing voice/style was for smut, I have really had the opportunity to solidify it and try it in different scenes and contexts. I feel a lot more confident than I did back then.

I wanted to highlight these because I think as writers, we are often too hard on ourselves, and it helps to put into context all of the ways we've improved if we are mindful of our progress. I definitely encourage you to sit down one day and remind yourself of all the new things you've done from your starting place. Making this list really put into context all the ways I've changed as a writer in just a year.

I still have a lot more I want to do and new challenges to face in the next year. I hope if you read this, it does help to show you that you can take long breaks and even if you take a step back from writing, you will always be a writer and it'll always be a hobby you can return to and improve your skills, no matter how long its been.

[m4k4yl4]

Coffee Boy

Summary: When y/n ends up having to close the cafe for the night, what happens when her cafe crush ends up staying with her in the cafe til the snow calms down.

Content warning: None.

Masterlist

Posted: 12/01/2023

He's always here, same time, same booth every day, yet the most y/n has talked to him was when he asks for an Americano at the cash register and the only thing she can say back is "that'll be $3.15, please move up." or "have a good day, sir!"

His name is Felix, and that's one thing she knows for sure she's the one that writes it on his cup every morning. She started to draw little things next to it. One day, a sun. The next day, a cat is anything she could think of on the top of her head. She enjoyed seeing the smile and nod he would give her after seeing the drawing.

Same routine of this for the past 4 weeks or at past that's how long she had been counting and she still couldn't find the courage to speak to him and whenever she thinks she finally has the chance and confident to do he's left. At the same time, as always gone to who knows back into the cold winter air with an even colder Americano in hand.

Today was like any other 9am y/n had already clocked in standing at the front finger tapping on the table as she looked back and forth from the clock to the front door of the cafe. 'He still hasn't come in yet, wondering what happened,' she thought.

Hours had passed, and he never showed up. 'Guess he's not showing today.' As she's wiping off the last tables, the last worker there withher runs up. "Hey y/n! Can you maybe do the closing shift for me? I have a date with my boyfriend tonight, and I can't miss the reservation."

Y/n blinks for a second, "I- I mean, I guess.." "Really?! Oh, thank you, babes! I own you a big one! Okay, bye!" Y/n stares a little confused at the interaction as her coworker runs off the door. "I guess I'm closing tonight.."

As the night goes on for longer, the snow picks up while y/n is busy making sure everything in the back is good and not put out of place until she hears loud bangs on the entrance of the cafe.

She quickly runs out the of the back, thinking someone was breaking in only to be met with the blonde boy she had been waiting for earlier. She quickly runs to the door, opening it to let him in.

A big gust of wind and snow blows in with him as she shuts the door again, feeling like she had just been stuffed into a freezer. "Jesus, it's freezing out there, I didn't notice it had snowed this much!"

"Yeah, they had been talking on the news about a blizzard coming through. I didn't think it would be this bad.." Felix said as he shook some of the snow off himself. "Oh! You must be freezing, I'll go get you something to warm up with. " He shakes his head, "No, no, you're fine. I'm fine, really!"

She looks at him for a second. "You sure? Your face looks all red. I can get you some hot chocolate, I haven't turned the machine yet." Felix touches his cold face. The red one of his face deepens in embarrassment. "Yeah.. I guess hot chocolate would help a bit. Thank you." She smiles. "No problem!"

As Felix sits down in the booth, he usually sits in y/n walks to the hot chocolate machine freaking out on the inside. 'This is the most I have ever talked to him. What the fuck-'

She comes back with two hot chocolates in hand, setting one in front of him as she sat down across the booth from him. "Didn't know you liked hot chocolate usually you get an Americano and those don't have that much sweetness to them"

He gives a small smirk, "You remembered my order?" She looks up from her drink, eye widen."uhm, I mean, it's just that you come here a lot and never have changed your order, so you know it just kinda stuck, I guess. Sorry if you think it's weird." Felix laughs, "No, it's cute, really. Also, I love those little drawings you put on the cup."

"Really?" She surprised, "Yeah, the little smiley sun was my favorite. Do you draw them on every cup?" She pauses for moments embarrassed to answer his questions, "Hm, no..just yours, really.."

He smiles at her, "Well, thank you for that. Helps me smile in the morning." She smiles back at him face brighter than ever at his compliments. They talk for who knows how long. Y/n looks out the window, seeing the wind and snow calming down.

"Oh, I think it's stopped snowing." Felix looks out the window before checking his phone, "I should probably get going while it's stopped. My roommate is probably wondering where I'm at." He puts on his jacket, y/n following his lead.

"Me too. It's way too late for me to be here. I was supposed to close a while ago." She picks up their empty hot chocolate cups bring them to the kitchen, til an idea came into her head.

"Felix!" She comes out of the kitchen a to go cup in hand, "Oh y/n! I was wondering where you had gone, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye first." She smiles at him, handing him the cup.

"It's still cold outside, and I didn't see you come in a car or anything, so take this to keep you warm on the home." Felix looks down at the cup wear the names are usually written instead a phone number, y/n phone number, written with the smiley sun he liked so much next to it.

Felix looks back up at a nervous y/n standing in front of him. "Thank you again, y/n. I'll be sure to repay you for this." She smiles at him, "I hope you keep that promise, Felix."

They both leave out together, waving goodbye as they walk opposite ways home, stupid smiles on their faces. As y/n enters her house, she feels the buzz from her phone looking at the notification, making her want to giggle like a little girl.

1 new message

1-×××-×××-××××: y/n? It's Felix! Was wondering if you wanted to go out this weekend. You know, as repayment<3

A/N: YAYYY‼️ ANOTHER FIC‼️

[hedgiwithapen]

DAMMIT HEDGI DAY 2024!

Prompts are now OPEN

What is Dammit Hedgi Day?

Dammit Hedgi Day, the 25th of September, marks the 9th anniversary of the first "Dammit Hedgi" tag on one of my angst fics. Every September I accept [angsty, typically] prompts for three weeks, and then post a massive amount of oneshots and ficlets. Prompt fills range from 200-2000 words, and as the Poll dictates, will start being posted on September 25th

What Fandoms can be prompted for?

Dammit Hedgi Day started with the Flash and DCTV, but has grown! Previous years have seen ficlets for: The Flash (up to mid season 6? I make no promises after that) Supergirl (season 1) Legends of tomorrow (first 2 seasons) Stargirl (all three seasons) Leverage+ Leverage Redemption Blue Beetle (2023) Into the Spiderverse (ish) My Adventures With Superman Young Justice Big Hero 6 Avatar the Last Airbender The Librarians Books of Bayern and assorted original RPG character content That said, I'm not strictly limited to these! I've started watching Stargate SG1, and will accept prompts based on that UP TO MID SEASON 4. Do NOT ask me about things beyond the end of s4, I'm trying to be unspoiled. If you've seen me talk positively about a media, you can ask for it, essentially. I may not fill everything, but I'll try.

What kinds of prompts?

Originally an ANGST fest, it can get a bit more broad especially in recent years. Ideally: send me a fandom/ two characters and a line of dialog like one from a promptlist below OR fandom/ characters and a vague concept-- "Sokka in a time loop" is vague! "Leverage, Daemon au for the Big Bang job" is vague. "Stargirl, Rick and Cindy: "I'm never going to trust you" " is vague. Two full paragraphs that detail who says the line and everyone's feelings on the matter and the outcome is not vague. If you're not sure if something is too detailed, you can always send it in and see, though. Crossovers welcome. DHD is a smut-free zone, and it’s my day so  I will write about characters with my viewpoints so prompt with caution if you like a character I do not :)  You may attempt to rig your prompts for fluff but do not count on it. Do not expect shipping, this is a genfic event. A few ships may slip through at my discretion, y'all know who I Like. You can send me a couple characters and an angst prompt from a list like  this one or This one,  Or this ….or  if there’s a whump post out there that grabs at you, you can use that. If we've talked about an AU, you can prompt that! If I've made a post like " hey neat concept for [show]:...." you can ask for some of that! If there was a prompt from past years you liked and want More Of? (roundups for 2020 , 2021, 2022, 2023) hell yeah! Canon suffering!! Aus make everything worse!! Missing moments, what-ifs, alternate perspectives! As always, everything will be tagged with Dammit Hedgi Day and Dammit Hedgi Day 2024 for blocking the tag purposes.

[flightlessangelwings]

Ktober 2023 Day 31- Free choice

Fee use orgy with the Narcos boys

Horacio Carrillo x Javier Peña x Steve Murphy x fem!reader

Word count- 2.9k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), restraints, blindfold, free use, group sex, piv, anal, oral, pussy slapping, overstim, multiple orgasms, fingering, praise, no use of y/n (there's a lot in this one so please let me know if I forgot anything!)

About this reader- stated to be involved with both Carrillos but I left it vague so it's open to interpretation, also mentioned she used to be involved with Javi but again it's open to interpretation, hinted to be bisexual but can be left up to you how you read it, no physical descriptions other than body parts

Notes- Going out with a bang here literally lol! Oh I had so much fun with this one so I hope y'all have just as much fun reading it! And by far this is the longest fic of the month. Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

~

“Peña. Murphy. My office,” Colonel Carrillo ordered the two men. It was late in the day, and only a skeleton crew still lingered behind. 

The two agents looked at each other with a serious expression before they silently stood and followed the Colonel. He seemed stiff, and his expression was unreadable. Neither Steve nor Javi knew what to make of him at that moment. 

Carrillo glanced around the empty office as half the lights shut off on their own, leaving the three men in shadows. He inhaled deeply, puffing out his chest as he did so.

Once Javier and Steve reached the doorway of Carrillo’s office, he paused and turned to them, “It has come to my attention that the two of you have been working too hard lately.”

“And?” Steve huffed as he crossed his arms. Javier mirrored the action.

Carrillo flashed a smirk before he opened his office door, “This way.”

Javier and Steve exchanged one last glance before they followed into the dark office. Carrillo was right behind them, and they noticed that he closed and locked the door before he flicked the lights on. And when the two men laid eyes on what surprise the colonel had in store for them, their mouths dropped open in shock.

“Hello boys,” you purred from where you were laid out on the desk.

“Wait a second,” Steve sounded flustered as he tripped over his words.

Javier just grinned, “I didn’t think you had it in you,” he turned to address you by name, “How did you get roped into this?”

“This is some shit Javi would think up. Not you,” Steve interjected.

Carrillo raised his hands in surrender as his eyes dropped to the floor, “This was her idea actually,” he sounded uncharacteristically sheepish at the confession.

The grin never left your face, entertained by the expression of shock and confusion on Steve and Javier’s faces. Finding you naked and tied to Carrillo’s desk was the last thing they expected. But, you had a feeling this was just the perfect remedy they needed.

“Horacio has been under a lot of pressure lately,” you explained, “Juliana and I can tell when he’s off. And… We came up with this arrangement,” you shimmied your shoulders as much as you could while bound by Carrillo’s tight binds, letting the rest explain itself.

Steve and Javier looked at Carrillo. Then, Steve turned to Javier, “How do you know her then?”

“We have a history,” Javier left it at that. His eyes never left the Colonel, though, surprised to find you of all people involved with him. 

“Wait, wait,” Steve protested, “I have a wife, you know.”

“You could have brought her too,” you smirked, giving Steve a wink when his eyes locked with yours.

That made Steve blush. Javier covered his face to hide the proud smirk at the fact that you accomplished that. But, his own gaze wandered back to your tied, naked figure spread out of Carrillo’s desk. He clenched his fist as he thought about everything he would easily do to you while you were like that. He couldn’t help the thoughts that popped into his head.

Feeling his gaze on you, you looked up to meet his eyes and your breath caught in your chest for a moment. It wasn’t until you saw Carrillo move from around him and saunter over to you that you remembered to breathe again.

“Here’s how this is going to work,” Carrillo’s commanding voice broke the tension in the room, “She is here for us to use. Get whatever shit you’re holding onto out. And tomorrow, we start fresh.” 

Carrillo looked you over, admiring his handiwork. He reached out and gently caressed your body with the back of his hand, causing you to gasp. Your eyes fluttered shut as you savored the light, teasing touch of him, and goosebumps erupted on your skin wherever his hand grazed. Knowing exactly what spots drove you wild, Carrillo gave you light pinches and squeezes, murmuring your name with praise.

“You know your signal if you need to stop,” he spoke softly in your ear as he pulled something out of his pocket.

“I do,” you whispered back as you opened your eyes and were met with his handsome face just inches from yours.

“Good,” Carrillo leaned in and kissed you deeply as he yanked the bandana in his hand taut. Vaguely, you both heard groaning from the other end of the room, and you knew the others were enjoying the little display. He broke away from the kiss, placing one last light one between your eyes before he tied the bandana securely around them, blocking your vision and leaving you even more helpless.

You couldn’t stop the moan as a rush of excitement ran through your veins. It had been a secret fantasy for this to happen, and when the opportunity presented itself, you jumped on it. You arched your back as you felt a hand, Carrillo’s, ran across your chest and stomach, tracing a random pattern until it grabbed your breast firmly. You cried out as he pinched your nipple and rolled it between his calloused fingers.

Javier and Steve watched with sharp eyes as Carrillo caressed your body. They felt the heat all the way on the other side of the office, and they felt just as captivated as you were. Javier had no qualms about what Carrillo proposed from the start, and he unbuttoned his shirt and belt without another word. Even Steve, who was hesitant at first, felt drawn to you, and he too loosened his shirt.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she?” Carrillo smirked with pride as he squeezed your breasts again, making you moan. 

The way Carrillo had you tied left you on full display for the men in the room. Your legs were tied to each corner of the desk, spreading them wide and leaving your dripping pussy fully exposed. Your arms were tied together above your head at the other end of the desk, pushing your breasts up. The binds were so tight that you could barely even wriggle from side to side, but you assured Carrillo before he went to get the other two that you were comfortable like this. 

You were going to be here for a while after all. 

“She is,” Javier murmured as his eyes landed on your cunt. His cock involuntarily twitched in his pants, but all he could think about was devouring your pussy.

Faintly, Steve hummed in agreement as he unzipped his pants.

Javier dropped down to his knees, careful not to touch you so that it would come as a surprise when he finally did. It took a great deal of restraint, but once he was settled between your bound parted legs, he reeled forward and covered your pussy with his mouth, immediately sucking at you hard. You let out a loud scream and arched your back at the sensation.

“That’s it,” Carrillo cooed as he watched Javier lick at your folds. 

Without your sight, every move was a surprise, and it only turned you on more. Feeling the tongue against your clit drove you wild, and your moans quickly grew louder and louder. Suddenly, you felt another pair of hands on your breasts, and you cried out when your mind caught up to you and you realized all three men were touching you now. 

Not knowing who was where added to the thrill for you. Yet, you had a feeling that it was Javier who was currently between your legs, licking and sucking at you with abandon. The two pairs of hands that caressed your breasts kneaded you harder, and one hand trailed up your body to push two fingers into your mouth. You wrapped your lips around the digits, running your tongue up and down and sucking at the tip without hesitation. The groan the hand’s owner let out went right to your core.

Javier groaned into you, feeling the pulse of need. He grabbed your thighs and picked up his pace with his tongue, rolling it up and down your folds before pushing it into your entrance a few times. His cock ached with need as he tasted you, but he wanted to make you fall apart first. And soon, once his tongue hit your clit again, Javier got what he wanted.

You came without warning, your legs shaking on either side of Javier’s face as you screamed loudly around the finger in your mouth. In the darkness of your blindfold, you saw stars as Javier didn’t relent, working you through your orgasm until a second one hit before you even came down from the first.

Javier broke away with a loud breath, taking in fresh air for the first time. He sat back and admired his handiwork as your pussy glistened before him. He murmured your name as his hand caressed your cunt, running his fingers up and down a few times before he pushed two inside of you.

“That’s it,” he purred as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, making you moan again.

But, just as he was about to pick up his pace, Carrillo grabbed his wrist and forced him out of you, causing both you and Javier to let out sounds of protest. Carrillo looked at Javier with a sharp expression as he shook his head. The message was loud and clear without the words needed: don’t hog her.

Carrillo chose not to speak on purpose, he wanted to keep you guessing who was where, and he wanted every action to surprise you. Without your sight or ability to move, he accomplished just that. 

You whimpered when you felt one pair of hands break off of your breast, but immediately screamed when you felt a hand slap your pussy. You jolted in your restraints as the hand slapped your pussy again and you cried out in pleasure.

Steve watched as Carrillo slapped your pussy again, and he couldn’t ignore his down needs. So, he pulled his fingers out of your mouth and pushed his pants down to his ankles, freeing his cock. He stroked it a few times before he gently slapped your cheek with it in a silent order for you to open your mouth. You complied, parting your lips for whoever was next to you, and Steve couldn’t help but praise you.

“Good girl,” he groaned as he slipped his cock past your lips and into your mouth. He let out a low growl as your warmth engulfed him, and you played with his cock with your tongue. Fuck, you were good at this, he thought. 

While your mouth was busy with Steve, Carrillo and Javier turned their attention to between your legs. Both men ran their fingers along your already spent cunt, causing you to gasp around Steve’s cock. But, their next action took you even more off guard.

You felt two fingers enter your pussy, easily since you were already so turned on and wet from cumming twice. You moaned around Steve’s cock as you felt the thick fingers fill you up, and your mouth dropped open when they crooked and hit that sweet spot inside you. As those fingers continued to massage the inside of you, you felt another finger poke at your other hole, making you gasp.

Slowly, carefully, the finger entered you, and you cried out in a mix of pain and pleasure. You felt a hand on your breast, squeezing and caressing your sensitive skin while the other fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. Tears filled your eyes as you felt a second finger enter your backside, stretching you out even more. 

All three men watched with awe as you took two fingers in each hole while Steve’s cock stayed in your mouth. You looked so beautiful like this, completely helpless for whatever the men wanted, and it only made them want you more. Steve couldn’t stop himself, and he grabbed your head and thrust his cock deeper down your throat as his emotions overwhelmed him.

Javier and Carrillo watched with burning gazes as Steve fucked your face, and in that moment neither of them could wait any longer. They glanced at each other and nodded, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. Slowly, they each pulled their fingers out of you, and they knew you let out a whine around Steve’s cock.

The two men quickly stripped themselves, holding their cocks in their hands and reading themselves for you. It took a little maneuvering, but Jaiver and Carrillo found a way to enter you at the same time. Both of them lifted your hips slightly to expose your body more to them and in doing so gave them the perfect angle to fuck you.

One entered you right after the other, filling you to the brim. You gasped around Steve’s cock as you felt both your holes being filled simultaneously. Tears soaked the bandana as the other two cocks filled you, and you had no idea who took you where. Steve froze for a moment, lost in awe as he watched the other two fill you, and he pulled out of you for a moment to let the screams flow freely.

You gasped for a moment, and it took a second for you to realize that your mouth was free. But when the two cocks pushed deeper inside of you, you let out a loud scream that echoed in Carrillo’s office. Pain mixed with pleasure as you had never felt more filed, and you knew you were safe when you felt hands caressed and roamed all over your body, and you heard soft words of encouragement from all three of them, though you weren't sure which direction each voice came from.

“You’re doing so well, querida.”

“That’s it, just a little bit more.”

“Such a good girl. So fuckin’ pretty.”

Just when you thought you couldn’t feel any more full, Steve thrust his cock back into your mouth, pushing it deeper down your throat and almost making you gag. You felt like a ragdoll as the three of them all started to rock their cocks in and out of you, all at different rhythms and speeds. Never in your life had you felt so helpless, and never if your life had you been more turned on.

Moans and groans filled the room as Steve, Javier and Carrillo all fucked you at the same time. It almost turned into a competition on who could cum first, and who could fill you up the most. They all let out growls as they eyed each other before turning their attention back to you. Losing themselves in the moment, all three men fucked you harder and faster, all chasing their own climaxes.

And the way all three growled went a pulse of need through your entire body, making you clench around all of them.

Steve came first, letting out a loud groan that gave him away to you as he filled your mouth. “Fuck!” he grunted as he watched as you swallowed as much as you could. His hips stuttered as he grabbed your head and yanked you against his hips. You made an obscene noise around his cock as you gasped, but you couldn’t do anything to stop him. Not that you wanted to.

When he was spent, Steve pulled out of you, leaving a trail of spit and seed as the only thing to still connect you both. He watched as your mouth dropped open, taking in a deep breath of air, and his cum splattered all across your lips. You looked a mess, but fuck you looked gorgeous. Steve gently cradled your head, “Good job, sweetheart,” he whispered.

Carrillo watched with a grin, but when you clenched around him, he knew he wasn’t going to last long. He picked up his pace and he growled a mix of curses and praises. His hips slapped against your body as he lost control and after just a few more thrusts, he came hard deep inside you. You gasped as you felt him fill you up, and you moaned as a shiver ran up your spine.

Javier rocked into you even harder, determined to make you cum along with him. He felt your inner muscles clench around him, gripping his cock hard. He reached for your clit, rubbing it with just the right amount of pressure when he felt like he wasn’t going to last any longer.

It didn’t take long for Javier to get what he wanted, and you screamed as your third orgasm crashed into you. Javier kept up his pace as his own followed right behind, his groans drowned out by your cries of pleasure. He kept his pace up and long as he could until he buried his cock fully inside you with one final grunt.

All three men stayed still for a moment, catching their breaths. Carrillo and Javier stayed buried inside you, neither wanting to leave you just yet. But, Carrillo could tell you were getting sore at this angle, and he tapped Javier, indicating what you needed. Slowly, reluctantly, they both pulled out of you, causing you to gasp and whimper.

“It’s alright, querida,” Carrillo’s soothing voice comforted you.

“Are you alright?” Javier asked.

“Never fucking better,” you replied with a soft smirk once you caught your breath. You let out another sharp exhale when you felt hands all over your body once more.

“Ok, I’ll admit,” Steve interjected, “That was fucking hot… And just what I needed.”

Javier nodded in agreement as he eyes trailed up and down your figure, “You were amazing, cariño,” he purred. 

“Good,” Carrillo’s tone dropped, “Because we aren’t finished here yet…” 

[milligramspoison]

Updated list of potential FOB 8 ball songs

(An update to this post as the European leg starts tomorrow and some songs on the list made it as 8 ball songs as well as fixing any mistakes the previous post had!)

Evening Out With Your Girlfriend

Honorable Mention - last performed on January 22nd, 2007

Switchblades and Infidelity - last performed on August 28th, 2004

Pretty In Punk - has never been performed live (yet)

Growing Up - last performed on November 7th, 2008

The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys In A Broken Down Van) - has never been performed live (yet)

Short, Fast, and Loud - has never been performed live (yet)

Moving Pictures - last performed on November 23rd, 2005

Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) - has never been performed live (yet)

Take This To Your Grave

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today - last performed on July 24th, 2023

Homesick at Space Camp - last performed on July 16th, 2023

Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) - had its only live performance ever on March 12th, 2004

The Pros and Cons of Breathing - had its only live performance ever on November 19th, 2007

Grenade Jumper - last performed on February 20th, 2009

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over - last performed on November 19th, 2007

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - last performed on July 5th, 2023

My Heart Will Always Be the B-Side to My Tongue

My Heart is the Worst Kind of Weapon - has never been performed live (yet)

It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Think It Must Be Love - has never been performed live (yet)

Love Will Tear Us Apart (cover) - had its only live performance ever on June 10th, 2004

From Under The Cork Tree

Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued - was the 8 ball on November 4th, 2023- its first performance since March 23rd, 2008!!

Of All the Gin Joints in All the World - last performed on June 23rd, 2023

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner - last performed on July 19th, 2023

I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) - last performed on August 6th, 2023

7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) - last performed on August 1st, 2023

Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year - was the 8 ball on October 25th, 2023 and December 9th, 2023!

Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends - has never been performed live (yet)

I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me - last performed on July 11th, 2023

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) - last performed on August 4th, 2023

XO - was the 8 ball on November 8th, 2023 and December 12th, 2023!

Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers - last performed on January 30th, 2007

The Music or the Misery - last performed on May 30th, 2006

Infinity On High

Thriller - was the 8 ball on November 6th, 2023!

“The Take Over, the Breaks Over” - last performed on August 4th, 2023

Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? - was the 8 ball on October 27th, 2023!

The (After) Life of the Party - was the 8 ball on October 29th, 2023 and on December 1st, 2023!

The Carpal Tunnel of Love - last performed on April 4th, 2008

Bang The Doldrums - was the 8 ball on October 17th, 2023!

Fame < Infamy - was the 8 ball on November 7th, 2023, it’s second performance ever!!!

You're Crashing, but You're No Wave - was the 8 ball on October 31st, 2023, its second performance ever!!

G.I.N.A.S.F.S. - was the 8 ball on October 18th, 2023 and on November 8th, 2023!

It's Hard to Say “I Do”, When I Don't - has never been performed live (yet)

Folie à Deux

I Don’t Care - last performed on September 7th, 2023

She’s My Winona - last performed on July 19th, 2023

America's Suitehearts - last performed on July 2nd, 2023

The (Shipped Gold Standard) - was the 8 ball on November 2nd, 2023, it’s first performance ever and marks the fact they’ve performed every Folie song now!!

(Coffee’s for Closers) - last performed on July 1st, 2023

27 - was the 8 ball on October 24th, 2023!

Tiffany Blews - last performed on September 19th, 2009

w.a.m.s. - had its only live performance ever on August 2nd, 2023

20 Dollar Nose Bleed - last performed on September 29th, 2013

West Coast Smoker - had its only live performance ever on July 30th, 2023

Pavlove - had its only live performance ever on August 6th, 2023

Lullabye - last performed on April 26th, 2009

Believers Never Die: Greatest Hits

Alpha Dog - has never been performed live (yet)

“From Now On, We Are Enemies” - had its only live performance ever on July 26th, 2023

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out - had its first performance since December 18th, 2013 on December 12th, 2023 and it was for medley! Wasn’t even 8 ball!

Save Rock and Roll

Alone Together - last performed on November 17th, 2017

Where Did The Party Go - last performed on July 16th, 2023

Just One Yesterday - last performed on August 1st, 2023

The Mighty Fall - has never been performed live (yet)

Miss Missing You - last performed on July 25th, 2023

Death Valley - last performed on September 12th, 2014

Young Volcanoes - was the 8 ball on October 28th, 2023, its first performance since May 7th, 2018! And it was the 8 ball again on November 2nd, 2023 and December 3rd, 2023!

Rat a Tat - has never been performed live (yet)

PAX•AM Days

We Were Doomed from the Start (The King Is Dead) - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

Art of Keeping Up Disappearances - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

Hot to the Touch, Cold On the Inside - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

Love, Sex, Death - last performed on June 14th, 2014

Eternal Summer - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

Demigods - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

American Made - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

Caffeine Cold - had its only live performance ever on November 29th, 2013

New Dreams (cover) - had its only live performance ever on September 13th, 2013

American Beauty/American Psycho

Irresistible - last performed on March 7th, 2023

American Beauty/American Psycho - was the 8 ball on November 3rd, 2023, it’s first performance on Tourdust!!

The Kids Aren’t Alright - was the 8 ball on October 23rd, 2023 and December 6th, 2023!

Jet Pack Blues - last performed on August 6th, 2023

Novocaine - last performed on March 27th, 2017

Fourth Of July - last performed on March 22nd, 2017

Favorite Record - had its only live performance ever on July 15th, 2023

Immortals - last performed on September 7th, 2023

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC) - has never been performed live (yet)

Mania

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - last performed on August 18th, 2019

The Last Of The Real Ones - last performed on July 29th, 2023

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T - last performed on May 7th, 2018

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - last performed on November 4th, 2018

Church - last performed on April 30th, 2018

Heaven’s Gate - has never been performed live (yet)

Champion - last performed on December 6th, 2019

Sunshine Riptide - has never been performed live (yet)

Young and Menace - last performed on October 10th, 2018

Bishops Knife Trick - has never been performed live (yet)

LLAMANIA

Past Life - has never been performed live (yet)

Footprints in the Snow - has never been performed live (yet)

Wrong Side of Paradise - has never been performed live (yet)

Lake Effect Kid

Lake Effect Kid - last performed on October 10th, 2018

City In A Garden - has never been performed live (yet)

Super Fade - has never been performed live (yet)

Believers Never Die, Volume Two - Greatest Hits

Dear Future Self (Hands Up) - last performed on December 6th, 2019

Bob Dylan - had its only live performance ever on August 5th, 2023

So Much (For) Stardust

Heartbreak Feels So Good - last performed March 16th, 2023

So Good Right Now - has never been performed live (yet)

I Am My Own Muse - was the 8 ball on October 20th, 2023!

Flu Game - has never been performed live (yet)

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) - was the 8 ball on October 21st, 2023, it’s second performance ever!!

What a Time To Be Alive - was the 8 ball on November 3rd, 2023- it was played in full for the first time!!

So Much (For) Stardust - performed for the first time ever on November 2nd, 2023- it wasn’t even the 8 ball!

(Disclaimer: I included songs that have already been 8 balls as some have been performed as a 8 ball again and have been performed outside of the 8 ball range)

[ramenrains]

TW: Death

.

.

.

.

Kris' mother and I just got off the phone a few hours ago, and I am heartbroken to announce this, but @blackfairypresident passed away today.

Kris was one of my dearest friends for many years and had endured his fair share of struggles, but I admired his resilience and his willingness to get back up each and every time he was knocked down. Whether he came to visit me in Greenville or we were going to concerts in Atlanta, we always had fun and felt at ease around one another. He had an openness in his heart that was unmatched, a sense of humor that could have you screaming with laughter even in your worst moments, and a passion to help those who had endured the same struggles he himself had faced.

That's why I'm writing this post.

Kris met many of his closest friends online. We provided a safe space for him to be his truest self. As such, he didn't have many ties to his real life on these accounts and kept them separate from the places he added work associates and family.

I didn't want you to be left in the dark. More importantly, Kris wouldn't want you to be either.

More details, including funeral arrangements if Kris' family feels comfortable sharing them, will be forthcoming in the replies or edits to this post. If you need a friend or a shoulder in order to help process this news, feel free to reply here or you can shoot me a dm whenever. I know this is sudden and completely unexpected. I'm still going in and out of shock myself.

Let this serve as an online memorial space in the meantime. Share things you loved about him or fond memories.

Here are a few of mine in pictures:

-When Kris visited me in December of 2022. He scuttled around downtown Greenville taking pictures of whatever he could, and it was adorable.

-The BAP Forever 2018 tour. It was notoriously a shitshow and they were giving free tickets away hand over fist. Kris posed with the extras we had to let people know they could come find us and nab them.

-VAV in Atlanta in early 2020. We were vvip and got to take this photo with the group together.

There were many more times we spent together that I didn't commemorate with photographs, but now I wish I had. The last time he and I were together for Bang Yongguk in 2023, I mentioned he, Jun and I should take group pictures and we collectively forgot. I'm sure I have some on Snapchat on an old phone somewhere, and I'll go digging probably later today.

I love you, Kris, and I'm so sorry this happened the way it did. I know how hard you were fighting for the life you deserved. I love you I love you I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm grateful that this was one of the last things I said to you, so there was never any doubt that's how I felt.

[ssivinee]

✧Cupid✧

Nakamura Kazuha x Le Sserafim! 00' Liner! F reader: Your addition to Le Sserafim was unexpected and so sudden that even the other members weren't prepared. It took a while for you to feel comfortable, but Kazuha was able to help you open up.

Word Count: 2k

Warning: This talks about the bullying scandal; there isn't much.

Inspiration: ➼ Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY

Note: Bold= English, Italics= Japanese. A little something short before the next Bada fic... may post it in a bit.

Character Vision Board

In 2022, HYBE was preparing to debut its first girl group. This caused a massive uproar in the K-pop community as the company was already rising due to the many acquisitions. The former IZ*one members were signing, and now the bullying scandal.

As much as debuting under a massive company was terrific, it came with enormous backlash. The upper ends of HYBE entertainment were still trying to figure out what to do; they were getting publicity from the scandal, but the girl's images were also important.

The company's solution for this is adding a member a month before Le Sserafim's official debut. HYBE was aware these rumors would likely lead to the removal of the young girl, so they needed some backup. Even though HYBE and Somu had difficulty finding the perfect girl, HYBE reluctantly gave one of their top Japanese contenders to Source Music.

Nakashima Y/n, the Japanese-American trainee who had been in Big Hit trainee since September 2018. The agency took her in the right after her elimination from Produce 48 and made sure she became one of their best trainees.

With your experience in freestyle, underground dance competitions, and even personal vocal lessons since age 4, Bang PD didn't waste any time and contacted you. Once HYBE became a thing, the company needed help creating a team with a similar skill set to yours.

So to help cater to you, they moved you to HYBE Japan, and while mixing and matching girls, you were supposed to debut by the end of 2023. That unexpectedly changed when you were called back to Korea. You were clueless and weren't told why they wanted to speak to you at the main building, but without question, you went.

You were led through the large building and made your way to a meeting room. When opening the door, you were met with confused eyes. Everyone in the room wore masks, so you couldn't recognize anyone, well, everyone but one.

"Sakura-unnie?" Amongst the girls, her eyes were the most recognizable, making Sakura's head tilt in confusion.

"Please take a seat," The concept director gestures to the seat next to Sakura, who was a bit skeptical with you next to her, not recognizing anything about you.

"In recent events, everyone on the board has decided to add a new member last minute. Which is where she comes in," she points at you, and as confused as you were, you got the gist of everything and just accepted the new change that was about to occur. "Please introduce yourself to them."

"Ah, Hello," you bow, "My name is Nakashima Y/n; please take care of me." Some of the girl's eyes go wide, 

"Y/n-unnie?"

"Wha~ you recognized me with the mask on?" Sakura says, bringing you into a hug, "I'll always recognize Japan's most famous idol."

When you tease her, she playfully hits you, "Ah, Y/n, you remember Yunjin and Chaewon, right?"

"Of course, I'll always remember my produce girls," Yunjin and Chaewon laugh at the girl while giving a welcoming hug. "Y/n, these are the other girls on our team Hong Eunchae, Kim Garam, and Nakamura Kazuha."

Y/n greets the three, and when meeting Kazuha's gaze, you surprisedly say, "Another Japanese member? Cool." Kazuha was pleasantly shocked at the sudden Japanese, but it made her happy knowing there was another member that could make her feel more at home.

"Due to the changes, you guys will have to redo shoots, whether choreography parts in the music video, concept photos, or anything else. So prepare for the upcoming 3 weeks because everyone will be busy. We apologize for the inconvenience, girls; it must be done."

The next day, Y/n had to record her parts for multiple songs on the Fearless album, and nearing the end of the day, she had to do her concept photos and videos. At 5 am, she even had to go to the company to meet the choreographer and learn all the dances for only 4 hours.

You come back visibly tired. Your hair was disheveled, clothes were heavily wrinkled, and makeup was smudging off. You found Kazuha eating some yogurt while watching TV in the living room. "Um, unnie, there is food... in the fridge," Kazuha told her while switching from Korean to English as she struggled to find the words. "Hey, if you're having issues with Korean, you can talk to me in Japanese, and I can help you learn."

Kazuha's head snapped towards you and gave you a thankful smile, "Sure, do you want to join me, or are you too tired? I don't want to bother you."

A hopeless romantic all my life Surrounded by couples all the time I guess I should take it as a sign

"Sure, I'm not too tired. Let me just shower first," you tell her and head toward your room, showering, doing your face routine, and coming back to Kazuha looking refreshed.

You sit next to Kazuha with a bowl of salad and a simple turkey sandwich. "So, how was your day? I heard they make you learn Blue Flame and Fearless, then made you record for almost every song."

"Correction, it was all the songs AND photoshoots, but I managed," you joked with the girl, but she seemed a little worried. "Are you sure your okay, unnie? That's a lot?"

"I'll be okay, Zuha; I just need to get this over with so I can rest a little before the showcase," you reassured the younger. You two sat in silence for a bit, but then a thought came to mind, "Zuha, is it true you did ballet?"

"Oh, yeah, I did it for most of my life and went to ballet school in the Netherlands."

Your jaw dropped, "What made you switch professions then?"

Kazuha thought for a second, "a change of pace." You found the simple answer quite surprising, "and you've only trained for 3 months?" The ballerina nods, making your eyes go wide.

"Vocal training must be tiring for you. No?"

"Well..." Before the two girls knew it, they were talking for hours.

I'm feelin' lonely (Lonely) Oh, I wish I'd find a lover that could hold me (Hold me) Now I'm crying in my room So skeptical of love (Say what you say, but I want it more) But still, I want it more, more, more

There was a week left before the debut showcase, and you found yourself becoming mentally exhausted slowly. On certain nights, you cried in silence, though not knowing why.

You were someone who trained in the industry for over 9 years, and now that the opportunity is knocking on your door, you decide to cry? After a sleepless night, you realize it was due to the staggering workload in a short period.

For you, joining this group was a blessing, but beginning to become a curse. You sat silently in the HYBE dance studio and just stared at the wall. The team was working on final practices before the big day. Even though you were extremely capable, the past few weeks were catching up to your body.

You were getting tired 10 times quicker than before, and your breathing was disturbingly intense, which caused the group to take multiple breaks so you won't pass out.

"Unnie, you need to stay home tomorrow," Kazuha tells her as she sits beside the worn-out girl. "I guess I do need a break," you smiled weakly, leaning your head on her shoulder. "I knew it was difficult, but it feels like... my body is slowly dying," you whisper in Japanese to Zuha.

The younger girl listens, resting her head on top of yours. Kazuha noticed how you ranted about your feelings, which helped you tremendously. "I mean, I've been doing this for years, Zuha, training for almost as long as Kura-unnie's idol career, yet once I'm here, I somehow get weaker."

"Unnie," the ballerina becomes stern due to her self-degrading words. "You aren't weak or getting weaker; you're just exhausted."

"I mean, who wouldn't be in your shoes," Zuha mumbles. She was correct; you were even doing it made Kazuha believe you were one of the strongest and most mentally driven people she knew.

I gave a second chance to Cupid But now I'm left here feelin' stupid Oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn't real Cupid is so dumb

It was a few hours after the comeback showcase, and it was clear that all of your hard work paid off. You felt the audience's love and were happy with the results you showed.

"Zuha, you did amazing out there today," you say as she comes into your room, cuddling into your warm body. The two of you began to become close together and felt safe as you guys were almost always together 95% of the time. "If I did good, you did insane, unnie. Can you teach me how to dance like that?" You laugh and tell her, 'Of course,' even though she was a fantastic dancer.

"I mean, I will, but you have cleaner angles than me when dancing, Zuha, so you have to teach me as well." You two pinky promised, and it warmed your heart.

"Zuha."

"Yes, unnie?"

"You ever think about falling in love with someone while being in an industry as strict as this one?" She tells you, "I mean, I do at times, but I don't usually overthink about it. Why?"

"I liked some people in the idol industry, and they all lead to the same things."

"And that is?"

"Heartbreak," you mumble, but she hears it. It made you think, should you even tell Zuha that she felt like home to you and that you loved her for it?

'That is probably the worst idea you ever came up with, Y/n,' you told yourself.

The promotions were going reasonably well until there was a stage with major sound issues, causing the stage to have almost little to no backing track. Some members did okay, including yourself, but the girls with weaker areas in vocals and less training were freaking out in the waiting room.

"Guys, no need to worry too much; it was our first live vocal performance." Yunjin tried to reassure them, but Eunchae, who was in tears, explained, "No matter the first, second, third, one-hundredth stage and no matter if they take our training periods into consideration, they will still hate it."

Sakura sat in the corner of the room. She's had her fair share of those comments in IZ*one, so she knew the maknae was correct. "Just because you weren't stable while dancing doesn't mean we can't sing. It means we must work harder to do better," you tell the girls.

"People progress at different paces; you can't beat yourselves up for it," as you kept talking, Zuha cuddled her sad self next to you, and you tried to rub her arm in the hug, doing your best to comfort the girl. "And you did well for someone who has only trained for 3 months. You should be proud of what you've accomplished today, Zuha."

You mumbled, and it caused the ballerina to hug you tighter than before, tears welling up in her eyes, "Thanks, unnie."

The group was leaving and going home, and during the car ride, Zuha asked her unnie, "Can I sleep over tonight?" You nodded, as the two of you often did this.

At the dorms, you, Sakura, and Kazuha disperse to your rooms feeling mentally drained.

Once Zuha changed, you two decided to sleep and rest rather than begin overthinking. As you feel that Zuha is asleep. You turn over to face her. "You did amazing, ZuhaI. I hope you know that. I'll always love and protect you no matter what happens," you whisper to yourself as you fall into a deep sleep.

But you didn't know that Kazuha was completely awake and smiled, facing her body towards you as well, "I love you too, unnie," leaving a slight peck on her cheek as she cuddled your body, drifting off to sleep.

A/n: First of the fimmies before my next post in a little bit!

[myeyesarebrighter]

On the wegovy note, I’ll think about something good that makes me want to keep going. This is not “the easy way out�� or whatever nonsense people spout off.

I’m down 35lbs, and would ideally like to drop 20 more. I never dared to set a starting goal in the beginning, 55 felt like too big a number and I didn’t believe it was possible. That’ll get me to a size I’m very comfortable at, however it’ll still be firmly overweight BMI territory. Another 20 (?) or so below that would get me to whatever the “not fat” land is called. I mean, maybe I’ll approach not fat BMI, we’ll see I guess.

Having the last 20lbs in sight is wild. 20 lbs sounds like a number I can lose, a thing I can do with the meds, but maybe even some of that could be possible without the meds… which just makes it feel like I can do it.

I’m not going to worry about getting off the meds yet. But it’ll be something to handle eventually.

I’m still at 1.7mg now, so I have another dose level to still move up to. I started in October 2023, have had some skipped weeks, and had a long plateau at 1.0mg.

My blood pressure has come down, A1C is lower, snoring has stopped completely. I have less joint aches, better stamina, and have officially landed myself back into straight sizing and out of plus sizes completely. Getting dressed is a bit more fun and clothes are just more comfortable again. I fit into chairs better and think my next flight will be a very different experience. I sat in theater chairs last weekend without feeling like I was encroaching on anyone’s space. Just existing in the world made for standard sizes is easier. And dare I say, I turn the occasional male gaze again, which is kind of a weird thing that suddenly dries up after 40 in a lot of ways.

I have Ozempic ass, that is no ass, which is so weird bc my ass has always been banging. It’ll come back I’m sure. I don’t know about Ozempic face bc wrinkles don’t stress me and I’m just happy to have cheek bones again. My hair is falling out periodically, which is just a lovely thing my body does under stress of any sort. It’ll cycle back in again soon and make for lovely grow in baby hair wildness.

This has been a vain post about vanity. But it’s nice to see and feel the changes finally, and it’s needed when the road is honestly just hard.

[tossawary]

It was absolutely insane how you dropped a juicy chonky chapter everyday for servant to a different king. Nothing but admiration and respect. How did you do it? What was the planning behind being able to release a chapter everyday? How long have you been working on the piece?

Thank you! "Servant to a Different King" was part of the Moshang Big Bang 2023 event. Traditionally, a Big Bang is 50k words (or more), and pairs up an author who wants to write a fic and an artist who agrees to create art for that fic. (Moshang BB23 had a minimum expectation of 10-30k words.) The sign-ups for this event were back on January and February, so that was when I created a full base outline for the fic and started writing seriously, on and off, in between other stuff. The fics all had to be finished by a certain date back in September.

Big Bang events often also release the whole fic all at once, with each author posting on a scheduled release date. That's what I did for a separate Big Bang event fic, my Bingliushen Stardust AU "Catch a Falling Star", but I have noticed that authors seem to get fewer comments when the fic is released all at once and there's a higher chance of readers accidentally missing the entire fic. The Moshang BB23 mods allowed for a daily release schedule if so desired, and I decided that was a good compromise between a more spread-out release schedule and the rush of a Big Bang release schedule.

While the outline for "Servant to a Different King" was complete early in the year (I think it was 8,000 words long), containing the most basic beats and some vague ideas for more specific character moments, I was originally only planning for... okay, I knew from the beginning that the fic wasn't going to be only 5 chapters, but I had it sectioned into 5 "chapters" as the distinct division of situations (Moshang reuniting, Moshang being forced into the bodyguard situation, Moshang getting to know each other at the Underground Palace, Moshang in the Northern Desert, and Moshang back at the Underground Palace). Whenever I write a fic, I know that I'm going to discover a lot of the details as I go, especially exploring the flow of conversations, and in regards to what worldbuilding and background characters I end up adding for atmosphere and humor and thematic parallels.

The Big Bang event had check-ins to keep authors on track with a certain minimum word count expected by a certain date, which helped me monitor where I needed to be in my fic writing. I think I did most of my fic writing in the last couple of months, however, because I had finished posting the other fics I've done this year. This was why I was not really "active" for a couple months over the summer. If I'd been posting chapters on a weekly basis instead of daily, "Servant to a Different King" would have been like 4 months of fic.

I don't really think that I have good advice for "how to write a lot". I have a decent amount of free time and my responsibilities generally allow me to daydream about story plots while I'm working. I generally aim for 200 words a day, if I'm able, but I don't sweat about it. I have things set up so it's easy to share documents between my computer and my phone, so I think I ended up writing most of "Servant to a Different King" on my phone, which was a first for me, because the computer was just too distracting for my focus.

[seriouslycromulent]

The Surprising Reason John Larroquette Took His Career-Defining Role on 'Night Court'

The comedy ninja reveals all this week's 'Parade' cover story.

MARA REINSTEIN

UPDATED:JAN 19, 2023

Get in a car and drive about 30 miles north of Portland, Oregon, into southwest Washington. That’s where you’ll find actor John Larroquette.

He and his wife, Elizabeth, have lived on a piece of rural property for about five years. He collects books and likes to narrate plays in his home recording studio. Sometimes the couple head into the city to try new restaurants and go to the theater and concerts. “It’s really beautiful,” he says. “And at my age, it’s time to slow down and be out somewhere.”

In fact, Larroquette is so fond of his far-from-Hollywood lifestyle that not too long ago, he considered himself retired from the business with a fulfilling career and a room full of trophies to show for it. Never did he think he’d return to grueling TV work, let alone reprise the very role that made him a household name.

Guess what happened next?

Yup, Larroquette, 75, is suiting back up as wise-cracking, endearingly smarmy lawyer Dan Fielding in a new version of the irreverent sitcom Night Court (premiering Jan. 17 on NBC). Set decades after the 1984-92 original, it still chronicles the colorful cast of characters passing through the New York City after-hours courtroom. But now, the Honorable Abby Stone (Melissa Rauch), the daughter of Judge Harry T. Stone (Harry Anderson), bangs the gavel.

Fielding starts the series as a process server, though not for long. “As an actor, I thought it would be an interesting idea to revisit a character 35 years later in his life and see what happened to him,” Larroquette says. “I can’t do the physical comedy and jump over chairs anymore, so my conversations with the producers were about how to find the funny.”

Call it the latest unexpected turn for a seasoned star who began his professional journey as a DJ for “underground” radio in the 1960s, moved from his native New Orleans to Los Angeles to jumpstart his career, once took a gig in exchange for marijuana, played a Klingon in the third Star Trek movie and completed rehab to kick his heavy drinking—all before his very first audition for Night Court in 1983. After the sitcom’s last episode, he won his fifth Emmy (for the drama The Practice) and a 2011 Tony for the Broadway revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. He and Elizabeth, wed for 47 years, have three grown children.

“I honestly wish I had a tape recorder going at all times because he’s led such an interesting life and has such wonderful stories,” marvels Rauch, his co-star and a Night Court executive producer. “He’s super-quick, funny and definitely tells it like it is.”

Exhibit A? His interview with Parade, in which he discusses life and death, and everything in between.

Did you sign on to the series right away or was it a tough sell?

When Melissa [Rauch] presented the idea to me, I immediately said, “No thank you.” I didn’t like the idea of being compared to my 35-year-old, younger self. These conversations went on for a year. Then, one day, she told me that she wanted to be on-camera as well, so I decided to try and do it. We ended up pitching the show together, and it got picked up. You know, in New Orleans, there’s a French word called “lagniappe,” which means “a little bonus.” That’s what I consider myself. She’s the heart of the show.

Sadly, a few of your co-stars—including Harry Anderson and Markie Post—have died in recent years. What was it like being on the set without them?

Very emotional. Harry passed away in 2018, but it’s still a tender spot in my heart because he and I were together for a long time even outside of work. Markie and I were very close, and we had exchanged a few emails about the show before she died [in 2021]. She was a big cheerleader for it. And Charlie [Robinson, who played the clerk “Mac”] died when we were shooting the pilot last year. I saw him a lot because we both love the theater. Being on the set—I don’t say this glibly—but it was like seeing dead people. I’d always remember how I had this bizarre and completely sincere family for nine years.

Going back to the 1980s, why did you originally take the Dan Fielding role?

It was a paycheck. This was 1983, and I was still a journeyman actor going from job to job. I was a regular on a series in the ‘70s [Baa Baa Black Sheep], but then I took a few years off to do some extremely heavy drinking. After I got sober and realized I wasn’t going to die, I thought, “What am I going to do?” I had been in a pretty big [1981] movie called Stripes with Bill Murray. I read for Ted Danson’s role in Cheers.

Wait, how far did you get in the Sam Malone casting process?

Oh, I just walked in and did a cold reading along with every other 32-year-old actor at the time. But then I auditioned for the judge in Night Court. The producers asked me to read for this other role of Dan Fielding and I said, “Sure.” Even if I hated the role, I would have taken it because I needed to make money to help pay the rent and support my family and be a responsible member of society. It was luck that I really liked it. Then I got lucky again when NBC picked up the show as a mid-season replacement.

During the height of the show’s popularity, you earned four consecutive Emmys for your performance. That must have felt beyond validating.

Obviously, being acknowledged by your contemporaries was an incredible honor. I don’t say that blithely. It was a remarkable, remarkable feeling. And I was up against some formidable talent—mainly all those guys from Cheers.

Why do you think the character was and is so appealing?

I think because he allowed the audience to know that he wasn’t a bad guy. He was more like a feckless buffoon. He also really wanted to be loved. As a matter of fact, in our pitch, we screened an old scene of Fielding in a hospital bed telling Harry, “I don’t have a life; I have a lifestyle. Nobody has ever said, ‘I love you.’” So when we find Fielding again, he’s loved and lost. And Harry’s daughter forces him out of his cave. It’s a real full-circle moment.

Let’s go back to your own start. Did you have any music skills coming out of New Orleans?

Well, I started playing clarinet in third grade, then I moved to the saxophone in the 1960s. But I euphemistically say that I could talk better than I could blow. So, I took that sax out of my mouth and became a DJ and started using my voice as much as I could. I’ve always loved the analog aspect of audio. I still have some reel-to-reel tape recordings and old microphones.

Is that how you ended up narrating the opening prologue for [the 1974 horror classic] The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

No, no, that wasn’t through any kind of past work. In the summer of ‘69, I was working as a bartender at a small Colorado resort in a little town called Grand Lake because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. [Director] Tobe Hooper happened to be in town and we became friendly. Flash forward four years, and I found myself in L.A. collecting unemployment checks and trying to decide if I wanted to be an actor. Tobe heard I was in town and asked for an hour of my time to narrate something for this movie he just did. I said, “Fine!” It was a favor.

Per the Internet, he gave you a joint in lieu of payment. True?

Totally true. He gave me some marijuana or a matchbox or whatever you called it in those days. I walked out of the studio and patted him on his back side and said, “Good luck to you!” Now, I have also narrated the consequential films and did get paid. You do something for free in the 1970s and get a little money in the ‘90s. I’m not a big horror movie fan, so I’ve never seen it. But it’s certainly the one credit that’s stuck strongly to my resume.

But you’ve appeared on the big screen plenty of times. Did you have movie-star aspirations following all your TV success?

The movies I’ve done are mostly forgettable. Blind Date [from 1987] is an exception, but that’s because of Bruce Willis and Kim Basinger. And Blake Edwards directed it. It was funny. But my face is not made for a really big screen. It’s a broad, clown-like face. It’s good for a TV two-shot. And you ride the horse in the direction that it’s going and television was always right there and offering me stuff, so I kept doing that.

You also performed in a musical for the first time in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying in 2010. How was that change of pace?

I was hesitant to do it because I had never sung and danced on stage. I was convinced I was going to be fired in the first two or three weeks. I’d keep going in my head, “five, six, seven, eight!” just trying to get the steps down. But I loved the lifestyle of being a stage actor in New York. I loved working with Daniel Radcliffe, and we became fast friends. It got to a point where I couldn’t wait to get to the theater and try it again that night. If you’re given the opportunity to do something that may be a stretch, I think it’s important to try and see if you can pull it off.

Can you talk a bit about your personal life? You seem a little reclusive.

Reclusive isn’t accurate, but I’m definitely an introvert. Elizabeth and I met doing the play Enter Laughing and got married in 1975. She puts up with me, and you can’t ask for much more than that. Our kids are grown. My daughter Lisa is a graphic designer and my son Jonathan has had a podcast for the past 17 years called Uhh Yeah Dude. And my youngest son, Ben, is a musician who graduated from the Berklee School of Music. He actually composed the new theme music for Night Court. They’re all lovely, and I love them dearly.

That’s quite a professional and personal success story, no?

You know, considering where I’m from and the kind of culture I grew up in, yes. I’ve been very successful in my chosen field. And I’m grateful for having done that because there were times when I thought I would not live, much less have a career. It’s nothing to be taken for granted. But I’m very old now. Three quarters of a century. I’m sort of playing with house money from now on, regardless of what happens.

Sorry, but 75 isn’t very old!

Yes, it’s old. It’s old. Please. It’s old. There are certainly people who live longer, but I can go down the list of wonderful friends and coworkers who are now deceased. One being Kirstie Alley, my costar in [the 1990 comedy] Madhouse, who was younger than I am. She was a lovely person, and so funny. There are only a few more exits on the freeway and you’ve got to choose one. But I’m not afraid of the hereafter and I don’t bemoan it. It’s been an interesting ride, and all rides eventually end.

Do you have any sort of words to live by?

As corny as it sounds, take things one day at a time. You know, I learned when I stopped drinking at age 32 that all you have is right now. Use the present in your life as much as you can.

Source: https://parade.com/celebrities/john-larroquette-night-court-cover-story

-----

My thoughts (please feel free to ignore):

I'm sure someone in the fandom has already posted this interview John did last year with Parade magazine when the new Night Court premiered. But I can say that it's new to me, so I'm sharing it in case it's new to someone else too.

I apologize for the highlighted purple sections above. That's just me marking the parts of the interview that resonated with me the most.

I don't know about anyone else, but some parts of his answers to the questions made me feel kind of sad. Partially because he's clearly experiencing grief at the loss of his friends. And partially because John himself may not be with us for much longer (although I hope I'm wrong and he beats Betty White to 100).

But I was talking to my mother about some of his answers, and she said that as someone who has reached an age milestone herself, she understands his perspective. And I guess I do too.

It's important to remember that in any other profession, John would likely be retired by now. So we should really be grateful for any roles he takes or public appearances he makes, and hope that his days ahead are filled with the calm, joy and laughter that he so rightly deserves.

[unioncolours]

The 5th Majsasaurus Year

Today is the 22nd of September, 2024. As per tradition, I have written a reflection of the year that has passed since September 22nd 2023, a public diary entry of sorts. Not only is Sept 22nd Shikamaru’s birthday, but also Majsasaurus as a member of the Naruto fandom’s birthday as well. This date marks five years since I posted my first fic in the Naruto fandom. You can read my first reflection from 2020 here, the second from 2021 here, the third from 2022 here, and the fourth from 2023 here.

It's been five years guys! Half a decade of making a fool out of myself online!

I have to be honest, this year has not been the best when it comes to fandom. While not as depressing as the worst year of 2021, it’s been challenging for sure. Before I go into this year and personally reflects all its quirks and events, I’ll start by introducing my nickname that’s been used on me online; Bex.

When I got social in the Shikatema fandom spheres back in late 2019 I asked people to call me a different name, a name I chose. My back then friends said the name I chose was too long and didn’t want to call me that, so they gave me the name Bex. I accepted the nickname without whining, because there I was, new in a server, and I just followed their lead. So I became Bex online. This is important for later, hence why I told this backstory.

And now onto the fifth year of being this persona online. Keep reading if you’re interested in my year.

I finished my last review of my year by announcing to you, my followers and friends, that I was expecting a child, a theme which was very visible in the fic I published 23rd of September 2023, we hold galaxies.

Since I knew that I’d obviously would have to cut down my time spent online very drastically after my baby would be born, I planned to write one more Shikajin fic with the aim of it being around 30k long, hoped to publish it in December and then be on a longer break. However, it’s… not always that easy being pregnant haha! What I didn’t realise then but realised later was that I suffered from brain fog and that made writing challenging.

What did cherish my days was that dear SpicedGold, who I for a longer while have been close to, sent me a giftbox literally from across the globe. In that giftbox she included two homemade plushies, one of Inojin and one of Shikadai and I had never been so surprised in my life. Now two plushies of them is decorating my shelf above my computer by which I write fics! My friend @clumsydragon28sent me from another corner across the globe another gift box to me as a Christmas gift, where I got even more plushies! Those were of Rowlet from Pokémon and Fyodor from BSD and both plushies decorate my living room. The gifts were truly cherished.

However, because I had rather forcefully decided that I WILL write a final pre-motherhood fic and had a deadline if I wanted it published before my baby was born, it meant I stuck with the first idea I had that sounded mediocrely interesting. Yeah, I should not have forced myself at that point, but wanted to go on a break with a bang and wanted to give my readers something to chew on before giving birth.

And I had very strong faith in myself that I could make it.

For months I battled through writing a plotline my heart didn’t love and my due date got closer and closer and all I could see was plot holes and words that refused to form. I realised 30k would not be enough for whatever I was cooking, and I had now strayed very far from my original plan.

I started to procrastinate and, because I had gained 60 user subscribers on AO3 (if you’re one of them, thank you so much), I decided to host a silly bingo with prompts. I received a few prompt-asks and wrote mini fics for them, all around 600-800 words. It was a wonderful way of procrastinating. You can read my mini fics here: Jinchuuriki Temari part one and two, TemaTen modern au, a fluffy Shikatema, and a Witcher AU.

Not even when my maternity leave had begun before the due date had I made any significant dent in my primary fic and I failed my quest to publish it, even if I by then had a good idea of what to do of the story.

After my child was born and when I had healed form the birth the brain fog vanished immediately. With zero sleep and a tired body I once more had a vision for my fic, and I banged through the rest of it like a madwoman. I had inspiration once more!

TERRORISE, the Shikajin fic, was published at the end of March 2024 and ended being 56k long. It is definitely not my best fic by any means, and there are at least two or even three places where I know I could have added a subplot to up the word count to my trustworthy 90-something thousand words to make a deeper and more profound story, but at that season of my life I could not write a better story than what TERRORISE ended up being. The missing subplots were the lie Inojin told, and Chocho and Sarada’s common backstory, which were only mentioned and alluded to, but not explored like they could to have made a better story. The final chapter was published by the beginning of May, and I have not re-read anything of it.

I had already decided before my baby was born that my project when they were here would be to re-edit To go down with the Sun, my first long fic from 2019. I had often thought about re-editing it finally, since before 2019 I had never written something vast that in English before. That meant my fics at the beginning of my career had language errors that I couldn’t see then, but now was aware of. I started re-editing in May, thinking I would change and add to a good amount of scenes, but in the end, I only added a little bit to one scene aside from correcting and re-editing the rest, which honestly surprised me, even if I so boldly stated in my previous official diary post that there would not be anything to correct. That my bold claims were true did surprise me after all.

Beside that I also added more scenes to three chapters from no one cries for unknown soldiers, my Shikatema WWII fic from 2022, just because I could and I had wanted to do it for a longer while, since that fic would have benefited from having a longer editing period than what I allowed it to have two years ago. So I did! It was fun and lovely to dive back into one of my favourite projects of all of my time in fandom.

In the middle of re-editing Sun I was struck by very sudden and intense inspiration to write about Saiino. In my ‘giving birth’-projection fic with Temari I waxed poetics about the wonders (and horrors) of biology when it comes to childbirth and ended the fic on a very powerful and positive note, but now felt inclined to write a fic which featured a mother who did not have a wonderful start of her motherhood and who fell ill to postpartum depression instead of having a lovely baby bubble.

As if possessed I smashed on my keyboard and crunched to get the fic done in time for Mother’s Day 2024. I made it, and the Ino-centric fic to grow a bed of flowers was published late that evening. I even rushed my ending a bit to make it but even with a rushed ending the entire atmosphere of the piece of so bittersweet and lovely! Postpartum depression is also such a hidden or even taboo topic that I think it was very needed in our fandom to have a description of that.

I could then go back to To go down with the Sun, and I had even commissioned the skilled and wonderful @keijidraws to make a poster for the fic, which I felt like that fic deserved. Over these five years that has passed since I wrote the first words of this fic (if my memory isn’t failing me, I think it was 10th of October 2019 I started writing Sun), To go down with the Sun has given me so, so much. My most kudos and hits, many friends, online crushes, *fans* even if I dare to call them that, soulmates, it all, all started from that fic. It deserved getting reborn and loved again. It was a rather easy job banging through published chapters and just edit them. I had finished everything the final week of May and was really proud.

By the beginning of June I was planning to write an InoTema fic, and was musing between two different settings and plots when I learned that the way I was perceived in what was part of my fandom circle was not a positive one and, being my own fault for how I behaved or was, or not, it affected me badly. Being online caused me panic attacks, I got problems with my sleep, and I had nightmares. And because of that I started to hate the person I was online. I hated Bex and I hated Majsasaurus. I hated the way I was that had led to me being perceived that way and if I hadn’t known better and counted down from ten, I would have nuked myself off the internet out of shame and hatred.

I would have deleted this tumblr you are reading this post from. I would even have deleted my discord server I have loved and nurtured since 2021 without the blessings of the other mods, just nuked it, leaving them shocked and detached from the group of friends we had. I would have ruined it all. I would have deleted everything but my fics on AO3. No, deleted wouldn’t have been enough, in my hatred for my own persona, for Bex, this person that was given to me all those years ago, I wanted to kill her.

I constantly planned suicide letters in my head to post here online. Not killing myself in real life of course, but online. And killing Bex would mean to kill my love for Naruto the series and ShikaTema and Shikajin. How does one kill a hyperfixation?

I started working on it, on killing her. I created a new tumblr and a new nickname and logged out of this one. I hid my twitter account. I decided to never write a Naruto fic again. As you can see, it got very bad very fast. Some of you might think I overreacted at words on a screen and that it all was my own damn fault and I should have reacted or gone about it differently, but it just got like this.

The entire month of June and July I spent in darkness when it came to fandom. It felt like Shikajin would be the only thing keeping me tied to Naruto again and in a desperate attempt to cheer myself up I began editing To dance above the Stars, the sequel to To go down with the Sun, and my true favourite out of the trilogy it belongs to. To try to force myself to not give up, I asked my dear friend Soverel6 if she wanted to make me a poster and she happily agreed, without knowing I was one click away from deleting myself away from her.

Then I began editing sometimes in June. I thought the fic sucked when I re-read it this time around and rather than adding, deleted a lot of the content. Most of the content I deleted was unnecessary preaching for a cause I ran in the fic, and I toned down that theme a lot. After 4 chapters I was ready to give up, to just not bother anymore with this fandom crap and leave for good, when Soverel6 surprised me with an almost finished poster. For her sake, I could not give up. I could not fail the trust she had in me, and I kept fighting for my joy within the little world of the fic.

After a month of sulking and feeling awful I managed to once more spew fun ideas for @notquitejiraiya's sequel fic to her masterpiece Grandmaster, which we jokingly call GMJ (the real name is Piano Man haha). SpicedGold also got to know I was feeling bad and to cheer me up started writing the sequel, When Waterlilies Waken, to the fic that originally made us friends, Let Wildflowers Grow Free. I felt so honoured she got around to do this, after me talking (pestering her) about a potential sequel for a long time. During this time I had reached my favourite parts of the fic, To dance above the Stars, I was editing, and thanks to the support I received from friends when talking about it I finally managed to find it fun to work with a fic again. I was still greatly offline from Naruto spheres, and when I sometimes logged into this tumblr just to check I was very careful to never reblog anything and often logged out again with a pending panic attack.

I uploaded the edited chapter of To dance above the Stars onto AO3 when it was finished in August along with Soverel6’s poster and finally dared to show my face on twitter again. Twitter felt safer than tumblr for some reason.

By this time, two months since I began hating being part of this fandom, I finally started feeling hope again. I decided that, before taking the ultimate decision to actually leave, I must write one final long fic of ShikaTema. I mused different prompts, all of them long and angsty and bloody of course per my brand and what I love to write the most. I mused different plots and it was between yet another historical au which would take place during WWI, another historical au which would take place during the 1700s and focus on witch-hunting, or a fantasy au which would be my Witcher AU, which I have mused for a bit and am really fond of.

I decided in the end to attempt at the Witcher AU.

However, I didn’t start writing it, and started writing this text instead already in late August. Then, after knowing I had received so much love on the WWII-au from 2022, one of my best fics to be honest, in the spur of the moment I decided that I will record the entire fic as a podfic. I begged my dear friend Becks to make me a new poster for the fic’s re-launching as a podfic and since she luckily agreed, I promised myself to do it. I, Bex, would try something completely new! And dauting. And tough. Recording wasn’t a problem in itself, I love reading things out loud, but the chapters were longer than I thought when reading out loud, and the software I downloaded for the editing was not as easy to manoeuvre as I predicted.

Then the fatigue hit again. I got stuck. I have not given up and I will finish it, but the deadline is maybe by 2025, haha.

When I got stuck with recording myself, I managed to scrape together a will to finally, after three months of practically deciding to never write any fic ever again, write a one shot. That one shot ended up being a second chapter to we hold galaxies, my projection fic I published exactly a year ago on Shikadai’s birthday 2023. I first thought of making it a one shot, but ultimately decided to add it as a chapter instead, and I was pretty satisfied with how it ended up being.

Now I am facing what to do next. I still had that promise of a long ShikaTema fic, but the Witcher AU didn’t feel as good as it once did. The hype inside me waned at the same time as new ideas spurred. New ideas. Did you hear that, “new ideas��? That is the sound of me almost being healed from the intense hatred I felt towards my Naruto online persona during the summer.

One of the new ideas is for example connected to Inojin’s canon fate in Boruto the manga, during which chapter he ‘died’ I was not feeling good. I was already trying to strangle my love for him and then he DIED on me. I cried. Yeah, no, judge all you want, but I was not exactly mentally stable enough to witness that. Now, however, I am luckily having fun with engaging with canon once more, since Inojin survived, and we got some good food from the chapters. I had fun in my safe space with other people who were engaged with his fate.

I am now brooding an intense and angsty Shikatema canonverse long fic. Canonverse! It’s almost like going back in time to when I thought I only could (and wanted) to write canonverse, back in 2020 and 2021. I also have a wlw idea again, after deciding to trash all the InoTema ideas that were ruined due to my anxiety in June, so it feels… normal again. It feels like I normally feel like in fandom, in a place where my imagination can run free and I can be the antithesis of a dude bro: the silly bean sister.

I find it ironic how I every year say I have learned to deal with fandom grief, but this year proved once more that I will never learn. But I think I will have to learn to accept that I won't learn.

Now we are here again, at the 22nd of September. Five years has passed since I uploaded the first chapter to my first fic, and I have 950 000 words uploaded on AO3. Earlier this year I promised myself to beat the delicious one million word count before 2025, and I know I realistically still can do it if I start writing tomorrow and stick to it.

But I will not retire until I have that sweet one million words on AO3. It would be too much of a failure to do so. So, dear sixty something subscribers, followers and other lurkers, expect at least 50k more of Majsasaurus fic in the future.

And yes, you can call me Bex. I don’t want to kill her anymore. I asked her forgiveness for being so angry, especially when I proudly bought a Temari Funko figurine in September. I don’t think I can kill this hyperfixation just yet. I don’t think I even want to kill it.

I can, with confidence, say, that there will be a 6th Majsasaurus Year in 2025, at least in some capacity.

Thank you to those who stopped me from deleting everything.

Majsasaurus Bex