#I just don’t know if I actually struggled with balance and stuff as a kid or if adults were concerned WAIT

[that-gothic-glitterball]

I got bored just now doing my devising log (or more accurately. This bit got too hard. And I got distracted) and took an adhd test. Idk if it’s an accurate one or not but yeah

[sanjisboyfie]

DOMESTICITY: usopp and [name]'s conversation

(keep safe) usopp + male reader

read the original fic where this usopp and mc are from <33 i actually love this drabble a whole lot UGHHH

for the most part, the sniper was always doubtful of his own abiltiies. wondering if he was too weak, too cowardly to even be sailing as a strawhat crew member. those feelings didn’t let up at all when [name] joined. if anything, they got worse.

comparing himself to [name] was inevitable. how high [name]’s bounty was — the fact [name] had a bounty in the first place was already bad enough. how effortlessly cool [name] was. how he could easily back up threats against enemies, considering how strong he was.

[name] was a force to be reckoned with and usopp was just a fly buzzing around him. it made usopp feel like trash.

and that attitude didn’t go unnoticed by [name] either. every day he had spent on the ship, to the last second, he had noticed how deflated usopp would become when he simply opened his mouth to speak. it was as if [name]’s words were physically harming usopp.

so one night, when the rest of the crew was sleeping and usopp was on night watch duty, [name] decided to confront him on it.

“there’s always a look of pain on your face when i step into a room,” [name] started the conversation with a simple observation.

and that itself sent usopp spiralling. he thought of how pathetic he was for being unable to even hide his emotions. how he was so simple minded as a fellow crewmate, to feel threatened by [name] so easily. how weak he was. the thoughts were going a mile a minute in usopp’s mind and all [name] could see was a struggling sniper.

“why is that, usopp?”

“i don’t anything of the sorts-”

[name] flicked the end of usopp’s nose, “liar!”

“i’m not lying!” usopp tried defending himself, but seeing the bored look on [name]’s face made him give up almost immediately, “it’s just…you’re just like sanji, and zoro, and luffy! you’re strong, alright? and i’m not! it’s plain as day, anyone can see it. if luffy had to choose who he wanted on his crew more, he’d choose you any day,”

[name] flinched at the confession, “hold on, what are you talking about? this sounds like complete bullshit.”

usopp almost laughed, “of course it does! because to you, you don’t even have to worry about this stuff. weaklings like me, i can’t help but think this. do you know how worthless it is to know that i’m just a useless asset to luffy? i can’t perform nearly as well as you three in battle,”

“usopp, you’re not an asset, some tool for luffy to use,” [name] said sternly, and this time when he spoke, he sounded genuinely mad, “you’re our crewmate. there’s no hierarchy in the crew, besides the captain of course. but luffy is special — he cares for all of us equally.”

“like i said, you obviously don’t need to worry about things like that. you’ve known him since he was a kid, of course he cares about you. you’re strong with a high bounty, of course he cares about having you in the crew…it just leaves me in the dust, right where i belong,”

usopp felt like crawling into his own being and extinguishing himself off of the ship. he sounded so pathetic right now!

[name] simply flicked him on the nose once more, “you’re stupid for thinking something like this…what goes on in that head of yours, usopp?” [name] said gently, walking around the subject carefully, “luffy treasures you, y’know? he’d be insulted to hear the way you’re talking about yourself. you’re his best friend!”

usopp looked into [name]’s eyes to try and find any sight of lies, but was only greeted by sparkling e/c pupils. he was about to interject, but [name] wasn’t finished, “you’re our only sniper, that’s a position no one but you can fill! you’re the backbone of this crew, whether you realize it or not. you balance everyone out. i wish i was as versatile as you, usopp.

at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how high a person’s bounty is, or how “useful” they are on the battlefield. it matters how tender their heart is. and i think after luffy, you’ve got the best one of the entire crew.”

[name] poked his finger into usopp’s left chest, right where his heart was, “you’ve got a heart of gold,” and he smiled at the sniper who was stunned into silence, “your worries show that.”

usopp shook his head, refusing to take the compliment when it sounded as if it were coming from a place of pity. but [name] wasn’t having it, “you’ve got the spirit and soul of a brave sailor, usopp. it’s baffling you don’t realize it,”

he wanted to spit out how they were simply lies leaving [name]’s lips, pity comments. but he couldn’t find it within himself to shout them out. one look into [name]’s gentle eyes and he felt a part of him feel whole once again.

[name] was being genuine, he realized. and even if he didn’t completely believe the man’s words, he was swayed into silence right then and there. because when a man of [name]’s reputation and strength speaks so highly of you, it’s hard to not be convinced. when [name] spoke with such avid belief, it almost completely stopped usopp from overthinking things.

obviously, his worries didn’t go away in that one night, but he did start seeing things differently. what usopp refused to see was that [name] was completely right. where [name] lacked, usopp was there to make up for it.

how usopp’s heart and fervor made up for [name]’s often cold and brash personality. the two complimented each other more than they’d either realize.

[my-taintedheart]

Double Exposure rant ahead!!

Read at your own risk because I typed a LOT..

As someone who got early access to the first 2 chapters, I’m so disappointed that they are trying to ruin a ship (pricefield) that has been around for almost an entire decade and trying to rip them apart. They said they were ‘going to respect both endings’ but I don’t think ‘we broke up or she died’ is respecting both endings considering Max didn’t sacrifice a whole town of people for the girl she loves just for Chloe to break up with her via letter? like that is not the Chloe we know.

The fact that they’re trying to force so many relationships onto Max such as; Amanda (even after we friend zone her EVERYBODY keeps on talking about how much she likes us, basically guilt tripping Max), Vinh (almost every dialogue we have with him includes at least one choice of flirting with him, there was even a choice to ‘be sexy or not be sexy’ when he said drinking at work was sexy??? like what?) and last but not least Safi (I haven’t seen much flirting with her but it is obvious that deck nine is trying to ship them together in a desperate attempt to take our attention away from the fact we waited 9 years for an ‘After the storm’ Max and Chloe game where we can see their struggles and how they push through them together because they love each other, just for them to release another cash grab game that in my opinion was kinda rushed..)

Also, I have no idea what they’re trying to do with Chloe. Like what on earth do you mean that she jokingly suggested a threesome with her, Max and some random guy?? that is NOT the Chloe we know considering the Chloe we know had almost every page in her diary in ‘Before the Storm’ about Max and: how much she missed her, wanted her back and just wanted to be little kids with her again. Um, also what is it with Chloe and Victoria FLIRTING on the posting app on Max’s phone?? Get this off her timeline because in what universe would Chloe EVER consider Victoria a love interest? Like yeah maybe they’re friends, bonding because of the storm but they in my eyes could NEVER be more than that considering all the stuff they say about each other and how much they hated each other.

I’m just saying I saw that little ‘Chloe was thinking about Rachel’ cameo, I know she loved her but DAMN Max sacrificed a town full of people for Chloe. No offence but the least she can do is miss the girl that cheated on her for whatever reason in private?? Please leave Rachel and her constant haunting dialogue behind, I don’t need to hear about Rachel one more time it’s not nostalgic it’s just irritating..

I miss DONT NOD Entertainment so much!! They actually were the peak of pricefield and deck nine is just ruining it, Max and Chloe literally promised to not leave each other— who ever that writhe that letter breaking up with Max was definitely NOT Chloe..

I don’t even count this as a Life is Strange game because what on earth is happening in it??? Max’s diary, the art style the relationship between Max and Chloe (or the lack of it), the forcing multiple love interests on Max when all we wanted was Chloe and Max. I loved the first Life is Strange game mostly because of pricefield but another factor is how there was perfect balance of drama, it didn’t feel forced unlike Double Exposure.

If you’re going to make another cash grab game, put some effort into it?? Milk your cash cow better because the only thing that’s remotely ‘Life is Strange’ about this game is the fact that they’re riding on Max’s name.

[sirianasims]

Chapter 29

Just Like Fire

The year I turned 42 was also the year we lost my mother. My father soon followed her, just as he always had in life.

They had been inseparable through everything – demanding careers, the loss of my brother, all of my problems – for almost 45 years. And now, not even death could keep them apart for long.

I was shattered. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without Cecilia. I could only hope to get 45 years by her side as well.

I tried to keep it together for the girls who were also grieving.

Freya took it the hardest, of course.

She had known them for much longer than Grace, and had always been close with her grandparents. And she was already dealing with a lot.

At least something good came out of it. Samuel came over to comfort her, although things were a little awkward between them at first.

But their life-long friendship won in the end, and it actually seemed like they finally made up.

I don’t know if they ever discussed that fateful evening a few years ago, when he revealed his true feelings, but I was glad that she at least had the comfort of a friend.

Samuel always had a gift for cheering Freya up. It didn’t take long before he dramatically pretended to lose his balance, pushed her over and fell to the floor, flailing wildly, as they both laughed.

He would always do whatever it took to see her smile again.

I was happy that she had Samuel in her life. He was a good kid.

Very different from his older brother, Charlie. Whenever I felt challenged by my girls, I reminded myself that it could be much worse.

Charlie had been getting into all sorts of trouble for years, but it all came to a head a few months ago. He had been arrested at a rave while playing a gig with his band, and they found drugs on him.

Colten and Kailani had done their best, bailing him out and begging him to change before it was too late. But it was no use, Charlie had walked out in anger and they hadn’t heard from him since.

He hadn’t always been like that. Although he’d never exactly been the teacher’s pet, Charlie had still been a good big brother to Samuel, and he had often included Freya as well. Charlie and one of his band mates had even accompanied her to get her first tattoo when she turned 18, for moral support.

I was secretly relieved that Charlie wasn’t around anymore. I knew Freya had always found his odd-coloured eyes and rebellious attitude fascinating and I didn’t want her to get involved in whatever he was doing.

So compared to Colten and Kailani, I had it easy as a parent. But even though Freya was ridiculously talented, she still struggled with her self-worth. Confidence, she had. She knew exactly what she was capable of. But she was insecure when it came to other things, as if she couldn’t quite believe that people really liked her. She was popular among her team mates, but her only true friend seemed to be Samuel.

No matter what I did, Freya felt like the odd one out in the family. I tried to treat the girls the same, obviously allowing for the fact that Grace was only 9 and Freya had just turned 19, but it often felt like I couldn’t quite reach her.

She was, of course, under a lot of pressure. She had applied for several sports-related scholarships, and was constantly either training or studying.

Other parents with teenage girls mostly worried about stuff like drinking or going out with boys. Freya was extremely anti-alcohol – which was understandable, considering my past and the effect it had on her childhood. She also had some rather severe opinions on dating, it seemed.

beginning / previous / next

[fandom-imagines-stories]

His Solace

Season Two Episode Five

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 5962

Series Masterlist

Summary: Morgan calls the reader to Los Vegas, worried about Spencer. Together, they face demons from his past while she continues to struggle with hers. 

Notes: I’m messing with the timeline of the episode a bit in order for the reader to be able to be there when everything happens. This one is probably going to be pretty long because I’m trying to work in scenes from the episode. Buckle up for the next part because it’s also going to be crazy long. 

Warnings: Nightmares, mentions of SA, mentions of child death, PTSD, alcoholism (lotta stuff for this one guys)

-

Spence hadn’t had the nightmare in years. 

He chalked it up to stress. The case. Going home. Worrying about you. He’d been tearing himself in half trying to balance everything. His mind was just having a hard time handling it. That was all. 

But dreaming on the plane was one thing. Waking up the parents of a missing child because of his screams was another. Morgan assured him that it would be okay. The sinking guilt and embarrassment sunk their claws into his chest nonetheless. 

Morgan returned to the kitchen where he’d been up all night looking over the case. Spence laid back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling and trying to remember everything from his dream. The same basement. The same boy. Leeches? 

He rolled over and reached for his phone on the coffee table. 

“Hello?” 

He hadn’t expected you to answer. The time crept into the early morning hours and he’d been expecting your voicemail. Not that he minded. He just wanted to hear your voice. 

“Hey, what are you doing up?” He asked. There was something going on in the background. Music maybe? Someone called something to you, but you ignored them. 

“Spencer, hey,” you said. You sounded surprised. Panicked even. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just at…” You paused and he listened to what sounded like you stepping outside, muting the music and the voices. “Sonia’s.” 

“Oh, I-uh- I can call you back then.”

“Spence, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” he breathed. Spencer sat up and ran his fingers through his hair.  “Honestly, I just wanted to hear your voice.” 

You switched the phone to your other ear. He could hear the breeze through the speaker and the occasional car horn. 

“Is it the case?”

“No, I-” There was no use lying to you. “I don’t know. I’ve just been having this dream I haven’t had in a while and I don’t know if it means anything. It’s probably nothing. I’m sorry for waking you- or interrupting Sonia’s party, I guess. I’ll let you get back.”

“Spencer, wait,” you said. “Talk to me. I thought you don’t believe in dream analysis.”

“I don’t. At least I think I don’t,” he sighed. “I’ve been having the same nightmare since I was a kid and it’s felt more and more real the past few days.”

“What do you think is scaring you so much?” You cursed yourself for not being there to help him. Instead, you were out at the one place you promised yourself you’d never go again. 

The bar you used to go to with him. 

“I’m still trying to figure that out,” he said. “I’m sorry for calling so late.”

“Seriously, Spencer, it’s okay. You guys have only been gone for a couple days and I miss you so much I subconsciously grabbed one of your shirts for work this morning instead of mine.” You laughed, tugging at the collar of his button-up that you were still wearing. 

“I’m glad my absence has turned you into a kleptomaniac,” he teased, finally feeling his nerves start to settle. 

You stepped towards the road and tried to hail a late-night taxi. “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to head back home and grab the Sherlock Holmes book we’re on and I’ll read to you for a change.” 

Spence fell back against the couch cushions and smiled to himself. “That sounds perfect, actually.” 

“The Sign of Four, right?”

He hummed. “Page 23.” 

“Just let me find a cab and I’ll be on my way home.” 

He briefly wondered why you hadn’t driven yourself, but his mind was focused on too many other things to overanalyze it. Instead, he tried to listen to the sound of your breathing and the light roll of thunder as it began to rain in D.C. 

-

You hadn’t meant for it to get this bad. But work had been piling up and you were trying to meet study deadlines on top of worrying about Spencer. When you were at the bar, you had Beth to cut you off, but here, at home with a full bottle drained in one sitting, you could hardly see straight. 

But at least you couldn’t feel. 

You just needed a day to give in, to let yourself drown in your dark side and then you could keep smiling, convincing everyone that everything was okay. And everything was. You could keep yourself together as long as you had times like this where you could forget how it felt to be falling apart. 

You groaned at the shrill, ear-piercing shriek of your ringtone. Had it always sounded like that? It made your head pound as if it were trying to break away from the noise through your skull. 

“Heeelllo?” 

“Y/N, it’s Derek.”

“Hey- what is it Penelope calls you- oh, right- hey Chocolate Thunder,” you giggled. 

There was a long pause on the other line. Maybe it wasn’t long, but the seconds kind of all blurred together. “Are you okay?” 

“Of courrrse I’m ffffffine,” you slurred through your words. You weren’t even trying. The part of your brain that would usually sound an alarm right about now was stuck in a haze of warm whiskey bliss. 

“Have you been…” Derek checked the hallway for anyone listening. “Are you drunk right now?” 

You gulped. “No.” 

“Christ Y/N, it’s not even noon in D.C.,” he exasperated, running a hand down his face. “Listen, I’m gonna need you to sober up real quick because I might need your help.” 

Despite every worry running through his head revolving around the idea of you drinking, Reid’s problem took the forefront of his mind. 

Your thoughts holed through the haze enough for a moment of sober clarity. “D-did something happen to Speeencer?” 

You could vaguely remember Spence calling you about nightmares a night or so ago. It felt like months. 

“I just think he could use having you here right now,” Derek said. “But, Y/N, if you’re drinking-”

“I’ll be there,” you blurted with a fair amount of effort. You hung up the phone before he could say anything else. Any drunken bliss had switched to a motivational panic, forcing your feet to move across the living room. You’d splashed your face with cold water a few times before the liquor won and you threw up the entire contents of your stomach. 

Hot tears blurred your vision more than the intoxication. Something was wrong. Spencer needed you. And here you were on the bathroom floor. 

Morgan knew. You couldn’t keep the two halves separate anymore, the dark collapsing onto the other. 

Pulling yourself off the floor, you readied yourself to pack. 

You could do this. You had to. If you lost your balance, you would fall and you weren’t sure you knew how to climb out of the pit again. 

-

Somehow, he just knew. He had to be right. Why else would his mind bring him here? Bring him back to this memory of his childhood. Spencer walked back down the hallway, and there he was, talking to Morgan and Rossi as if he had no idea what this was about. Spence’s blood boiled just looking at the face of the man that now haunted his dreams. 

His father. 

“My son? Did something happen?” 

Spencer stepped back into the lobby. “That’s what we’re trying to find out.” The two Reid men stared at each other, his father’s eyes growing wide with a mix of surprise and confusion. “Hello, dad.” 

17 years. 17 years and he was only ten minutes away. It took everything in Spence’s power to not scream at him right then and there. 

The four of them went into his father’s office, where he attempted light conversation but Spence shot it down. With every seething phrase, he could feel Morgan and Rossi’s looks of concern burning into him. He didn’t care. All he wanted was to get the truth from the man that abandoned him. 

It was when he said the name. Riley Jenkins. His father looked away. He turned to Morgan as if to ask the other agent for help. Reid was right. 

He was hiding something. 

���You remember Riley Jenkins?” Spence asked. 

His dad turned back to him. “Of course.” 

“I’ve been having dreams about him for a really long time. But when we came back here for this case, it jogged something.” His voice was level enough, but the other two agents could sense him reaching a breaking point. “The dream changed. I saw his killer.” He didn’t hesitate. Spence didn’t even flinch. “And it was you.” 

A long, tense silence passed over the room. 

His father just smiled, nervousness tinting his gaze. “Interesting dream.” 

Morgan watched him, arms crossed and mind focused. “You don’t seem all that surprised.” 

“I stopped being surprised by Spencer’s mind a long time ago.” 

The agents began closing in, starting with Rossi. Mr. Reid’s demeanor changed. He grew defensive and his tone switched to anxious agitation. Morgan requested access to his files. He told them to get a warrant. 

In Spencer’s head, it might as well have been an admission of guilt. 

Morgan watched the younger man go with a heaviness in his chest. All of the kid’s anger and all of his unfaced issues with his father were manifesting into something he couldn’t walk back from. And if this was true… was he really ready to face it?

All he could do was hope that you would be able to talk some sense into him when nobody else could. 

-

For the second time that day, Spencer found his hotel room door ajar. Cautiously, he pushed it open, hand reaching for the holster on his hip. His arm fell to his side, however, when he found you, legs crossed and nose buried in a set of pictures and files on his bed. 

“What are you doing here?” 

You didn’t even look up. “Who’s Gary Michaels?” 

“Y/N-”

“Someone slipped this under your door.” You glanced up at him. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. I learned how to break into hotel rooms when I was 17 and tried to hide from Aaron for a weekend in Arlington.” 

“You’ve never told me that story,” he said. Spence shook his head, refocusing. “But that’s not the point. What are you doing here?” He snatched the file from the bed and read the note attached. 

You’re looking at the wrong guy.

Right. Nothing suspicious about that. 

“I heard you could use some help and I got on the first flight out,” you shrugged, trying to hide the way your head pounded. Sleeping on the plane was definitely not a good idea. You’d already had three coffees to nurse your midday hangover and they were making your hands shake. 

Spencer frowned. “Morgan called you, didn’t he?” 

“Yes, he called. He texted me some of the details of the case so I would know what we’re getting into,” You set the files aside and stood up, crossing the room to put a hand on his arm. “He thought you would appreciate my help, that’s all.” 

“Well I don’t,” Spence snapped, throwing his hands up in frustration. You stepped back. His tone was more than just agitated. It was aggressive. He’d never spoken to you like that. It didn’t frighten you. It hit you with how much he was really struggling. 

Spencer watched your face fall. His arms hung at his sides and his eyes blinked tears away until one escaped. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” His voice gave out before he could finish. He screwed his eyes shut to keep from crying. The anger fueling him dissipated into guilt. Maybe he’d been trying so hard to keep everything together for your sake, that everything just made him snap. Maybe this was all in his head. Maybe he was just as crazy as he always feared he would-

His internal rambling stopped at the feeling of your arms around him, your hand leaning his head onto your shoulder gently. He opened his eyes and took you in, hands clinging to you like a life preserver. The only thing keeping him afloat in this storm. 

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

“No,” he cried. “No, it isn’t. I don’t know which is worse. The possibility of my dad being a killer or that I’m… I’m so convinced that he is. Nothing is okay, Y/N. I don’t know- I don’t know what to do.” 

“Just talk to me,” you pleaded, putting your hands on his cheeks. “I can’t help you if you shut off on me.” 

A small smile tugged the corner of his lips. “Hypocrite.” 

“Okay, well, this isn’t about me,” you rolled your eyes. He just shook his head and pulled your lips to his. “What was that for?” 

“For being here.” 

The two of you stood there for a moment before he pulled away, walking over to the window. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

He turned his head back to you with a deeply troubled expression. “Did you have a relationship with your dad?” 

An uncomfortable shiver ran through you as if sparking your hungover headache all over again.

“I never met him, actually,” you shrugged. You nodded your head in thought. “Aaron always told me he was grateful for that. All I know about him is that he was… well, my mom was scared enough of him to kill six teenage girls if that’s a fair judgment of his character.”

Spencer looked back to the window. “Right.”  

You shook off the dark thoughts and pecked a kiss on his cheek, sitting back down on the bed. “Come on. Tell me what’s going on.” 

Spence exhaled slowly and laid back beside you. “There’s this boy I knew when I was little, Riley Jenkins. He was sexually assaulted and murdered. They found his body behind the dryer in his basement.”

“The kid in your dreams,” you exclaimed breathily. Spencer had told you about this particular set of nightmares before, but it hadn’t occurred to you that it had been from his childhood. 

“The thing is, I didn't even remember he existed until Morgan pulled his files and my dream changed. I saw Riley’s killer.” He moved his arms behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. “It was my dad.” He glimpsed at you to gauge your reaction, but you just sat beside him, hand on his arm, listening intently. “Riley Jenkins lived less than half a mile away. He was on the little league team my dad coached. When we talked to him, he was defensive and not just because of the accusation but… he was definitely hiding something.” 

“And you’re sure it has something to do with Riley’s death?” 

“I don’t know how,” he sighed. “But I know I’m right.” Spencer held up the note from the file. “My dad was involved in this boy’s death and I have to figure out how.” The determination in not only his voice but his eyes set into your heart. 

“Okay,” you nodded. That’s all you needed to hear. “Walk me through it.” 

-

Spencer needed to clear his head after rehashing everything with you and getting the call from Garcia. Having a file on his accomplishments didn’t suddenly make up for his dad abandoning him for all those years. But knowing he was checking in and still staying away… it somehow made him feel even worse. 

You were standing in front of a vending machine, pretending to pursue its contents when you were really eyeing the bar. 

“Morgan called in the big guns, huh?” the voice behind made you jump out of your skin, quickly jerking your eyes away. 

“Dave,” you gulped as you tried to calm yourself. “I didn’t know you were here, too.” 

The older agent gave you a hard once over as if scanning you for what you were hiding. You waited for him to comment on your absence from the group or your avoidance like Aaron had. After all, you’d barely seen any of them in the past few weeks. You’d barely managed to hide everything from Spencer, let alone an entire team of profilers. Especially one as skilled as David Rossi. But if he suspected anything, he kept it to himself. 

“The kid seemed like he could use a weathered veteran like me on the case,” Dave smirked. 

“I’m glad you’re here to help out,” you said. “It’s good to see you. Even if it isn’t under the best circumstances.” Your shoulders sagged a little with the truth of what you said. 

Hiding away was lonely. 

“When this is all over, you’ll have to catch me up on everything,” he nodded. There was still a hint of suspicion in his eyes and you made a mental note to put more effort into keeping up your better half. Especially since one of them already knew. 

“You were supposed to text me when you got in.” 

Speak of the Derek-Morgan-Devil. 

You turned to the approaching agent and saw the mix of anger and worry on his features. It was the same look he gave you when you were stuck in the station together in Fairfax. But beneath the outward frustration, you saw the genuine glint in his eye. Like when they found you. 

When you killed her. 

“Must have slipped my mind,” you said. “I’m going to go grab Spencer.” 

Your urgency did not go unnoticed. Rossi looked at Morgan with a raised brow. Morgan sighed. 

“It’s a long story,” he said. 

Truthfully, as soon as he’d hung up with you, he almost called your brother. Derek might not have known everything about the situation, but he liked to think that the two of you had become friends. He knew about your previous struggles with drinking and the minute he heard your intoxicated voice, he knew something was wrong. But he also knew it wasn’t his place to tell your family and friends what you were going through. That was something you had to do yourself. 

Besides, he felt like he owed you a chance to explain. After failing to keep you safe in Fairfax… he thought you at least deserved that. 

Spencer was on one of the card machines talking to a woman who’d sat beside him. A small shot of jealousy rumbled up your spine, but it quickly dissipated when his eyes met yours, lighting up. He hurried over to you, the woman calling after him. 

“Hey, there’s like two thousand dollars on here.”

“Keep it,” he said, keeping his eyes on you. “I think I figured out a way to help me remember.” 

“Did he just give two grand to a prostitute?” Morgan asked. 

“Let’s go,” you took Spence’s hand and let him lead you out of the lobby with new determination. 

-

You did not like this idea. The whole method had always made you uncomfortable and now, the thought of sending Spencer back to such a dark place freaked you out even more. Maybe a part of you feared he was right. What if his dad really killed this child? What would that do to him? 

You of all people knew the cataclysmic break it could cause inside of a person. 

Dave had offered to sit in, but you told the two that you would stay with him. Spencer was grateful. If anyone could center him back, in reality, he knew it would be you. 

You took a seat across the room while Spence laid down on the couch. Seeing the worry in your expression, he gave you a small, reassuring smile, despite the wariness in his own eyes. The hypnotherapist began the process and you forced yourself to keep still. Every nerve in your body was on edge and your hands ached for something to do to distract yourself. 

“Go back to the night you were just telling me about,” she instructed. She set the stage and you watched as Spencer fell deeper and deeper into the trance. 

You tried to focus on his face as they spoke, but images invaded your mind as if you were the one under hypnosis. Sarah Cunningham and her bottle of death loomed over you like phantoms. You took a deep breath. You were here for Spencer. 

The sound of his voice cracking helped pull you back. 

“I don’t want to be here.” 

“Okay,” the woman said. “It’s okay Spencer. Take us to where the light is.” 

The sun dipping under the horizon. The flash of the gun. The sticky, hot, spray of blood on your face. 

“Mom,” Spencer muttered. “My mom, she’s at the window. I think she’s been crying.” 

You remembered seeing Tabitha’s parents at the trial. Sarah’s tears of inconsolable grief. She was just a lost woman- like your mother. 

And you killed her. 

“I think she saw him,” Spence continued. 

“Who?” The therapist asked. “Your father?”  

Again, you force yourself to refocus, heart pounding at the sight of confused fear on Spencer’s face. 

“Do you talk to her?” 

He shook head his slightly. “No. No, I wanna… I wanna see.” 

After a moment, his grip on the hypnotherapist's wrist tightened so much she tried to pull away. She winced, looking at you fearfully. 

“What is it, Spencer?” She asked. “What are you seeing?” 

His fingers remained clamped around her wrist. His face contorts. You stand up from the chair. 

“That’s enough,” you said.

“I need you to leave this location now, Spencer,” she ordered. 

You wanted to run over to him, to take his hand to tell him everything was okay. But something inside of you was screaming to run away. Everything you touched withered and died and you were dragging him with you. 

Killer. 

Killer. Killer.

“Wake him up,” you pleaded. 

Meanwhile, Spencer watched the scene unfold as if it were a moment from someone else's life rather than his own. He saw himself, young and scared and confused, standing at the window. He watched his father over the fire. Clothes covered in blood blackened and curled in the flames. 

The hypnotherapist tried to keep her voice steady as she instructed. “I’m going to count backward from five. Five…”

His childlike terror was more than he could stand. 

“Four…”

You felt your knees weaken, the truth of your realization hitting you like a bullet.

“Three…” 

It was as if he were witnessing his life unravel and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

“Two…” 

You were just like your mother. 

���One and wake!” 

Spencer’s eyes snapped open and he gasped in short, terrified breaths. You snapped out of your own thoughts and rushed to him, everything you just felt was instantly forgotten. He latched onto your hand, eyes scanning the room in a panic.

“Spence, it’s okay. I’m right here, baby. It’s okay. It’s okay.” You pushed aside the gnawing in your brain as his eyes fell upon your face. “It’s okay.”

Spencer looked into your eyes and found himself on the brink of tears. He knew it. He knew you could bring him back from that dark place. His solace from the nightmare of his memory. He brought your hand to his lips and slowly, his breathing returned to normal.  

-

“How is he holding up?” Aaron asked. 

You sighed, switching the phone to your other shoulder as you looked over more case files. “How do you think? Finding out your parent might be a killer…” you trailed off. 

“Yeah,” Aaron exhaled. He knew what this whole ordeal must be doing to you and it took everything in him not to fly right back to Vegas to help. 

“We’re going to be okay,” you said, reading the silence between you. You sat with Gary Michael’s file in your lap and like a train, it finally dawned on you. “Oh, my god.” 

Aaron froze, that familiar fraternal panic shooting through his head. “What is it?”

“Have Garcia look up bodies found in surrounding states in the past 20 years. Look for Gary Michaels."

“The man from the file?” 

You nodded to yourself. “Maybe there’s a reason we can’t find him.” And maybe the blood that Spencer saw on the clothes wasn’t Riley Jenkins. What was it he’d told you that his mom said? 

It’s always been about him. 

“Okay, you’re on speaker,” Aaron said. 

“How’s our boy doing, Hot Stuff?” Penelope asked, followed by a series of furious typing. 

“He’ll be better once we solve this.” You listened to the other line. A sharp, quiet wince caught your attention. “JJ, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah don’t worry about me.” 

“Oh god,” Penelope gasped. “Y/N, you are a genius. Gary Michaels’ body was found in California seven years ago.” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Do they know what happened?” 

“No,” Aaron answered, reading the screen over Penelope’s shoulder. “But there are prints on file that were found on his glasses.” 

Another pained cry JJ attempted to hide behind her hand. 

“Are you sure everything is okay?” You repeated. 

“How often have these been?” Emily asked. 

“Seriously, I’m fine-”

“Sorry sweetie,” Penelope beamed. “But I think you’re going into labor.” 

Aaron put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll get the car.” He took the phone off speaker. “Listen, I’ll call you back.”

“Of course. Take care of JJ. I’ll deal with things here.”

“And Y/N,” he started. 

You cut him off, trying to keep your mind on one thing at a time. If you thought about anything else, you’d break.  “I know.” 

-

He didn’t know what to feel. Relieved his father wasn’t a killer? Ashamed for accusing him in the first place? Guilty for everything he’d put his mom through? 

Spencer felt it all, sitting in that chair in the odd silence that had fallen over the room. He could feel you, Rossi, and Morgan watching from the other room, anxiously awaiting his reaction to everything. One thought kept in the shadows of his mind and he didn’t know what to do with it. 

He could have been another Riley Jenkins. A victim of the very crimes he’d dedicated his life to solving. 

Life has a funny way of circling back, doesn’t it? 

“We should be getting back soon and get your mother her medication,” the doctor who’d accompanied his mom said. 

“Right, of course,” Spencer agreed. 

His mom looked at him with the same loving admiration she often did. Like he was the brightest thing she’d ever seen, despite how dark his soul felt at the moment. Spence held up a hand. 

“Could you give me just one more second?” He asked the doctor, also checking his dad for a nod. 

Both approved and Spencer went out into the station, motioning you over. 

“How’d it go?” You asked tentatively. 

He thought for a moment. “Complicated, but… well?” You raised a confused brow. “I’ll tell you more later. Come with me.” 

“What? Spence, I don’t think now is the best time to-”

He ushered you into the room despite your protests. 

“Mom, Dad, this is Dr. Y/F/N Y/L/N,” he announced. 

You wanted to crawl under the desk, freezing under their eyes. 

“The girl from your letters,” his mother noted with a small smile. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”  She looked at you with the same affection she might have shown her own child. It was an odd feeling, receiving a mother’s love for the first time in so long. 

“It’s an honor, Mrs. Reid,” you said. “I’ve heard so much about you.” 

“Please, call me Diana,” she beamed. “Spencer tells me you two are in similar kinds of work?” 

You nodded. “I’m a criminal psychologist.” 

You saw something click in the eyes of her doctor, but he didn’t say anything. Even over two thousand miles away, your last name, your life story, was a curse. 

Spencer’s hand found yours as if he could sense the cloud forming over your head. He gave you a smile and you pushed on. 

“Dad, this is Y/N. My- uh- my girlfriend,” he stammered. It wasn’t that he was unsure or ashamed. The word ‘girlfriend’ just didn’t seem to fit. It seemed so juvenile, so not important enough. For now, it’d have to do. 

“William Reid,” his father held out his hand and you shook it. He wasn’t the heartless monster you’d formed in your head. He was just a man. 

The doctor informed it was time to go and Spencer and his mother said their goodbyes. He exchanged a genuine but wavering handshake with his father before he departed as well, leaving the two of you in the room alone. 

“Of all the ways I imagined meeting your parents…” you blew out a breath broken up by a slight laugh. 

Spencer just pulled you into his arms, burying his face in the crook of your neck. For the first time since he’d been here, he didn’t feel himself shaking. You grounded him despite the flying thoughts rattling around his brain. 

“Hey,” you soothed. “It’s okay.” 

He didn’t say anything for a long time. He just drank in your presence like it was keeping him from drowning in the emotions he didn’t know how to feel. 

After a while, he whispered. “I’m glad Morgan called you.” 

You held him a little tighter. Right… Morgan. 

-

Spencer had never been so afraid of dropping something in his entire life. 

“Hello Henry,” he said softly, almost scared he’d talk too loud and wake up the sleeping child. He wrapped his head around the word. Godfather. 

JJ positively beamed at him. “If anything should happen to us, it’s up to you and Garcia to make sure this boy gets into Yale.” 

“Yale. Yale?” Spencer exclaimed. “Do you want to go to Yale Henry?” 

He couldn’t understand it, but the feeling growing in his chest was unlike anything he’d felt before. A kind of want that he couldn’t quite place. Spence hadn’t given much thought to having kids before- well, maybe as a distant, alternate reality where he was normal and wasn’t afraid of everything and he could see himself having that kind of life- but now, looking into the face of his godson, he already loved him like he was his own. 

“That was your godfather’s safety school.” Spencer smiled and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Don’t worry, I can get you into Cal Tech with one phone call.”  

He was smiling like you hadn’t seen him smile in weeks. You watched Spencer with the baby from outside of the room and felt the sinking pit in your stomach. The two of you had spent so much time dealing with the mess that was each other’s past that you never really got the chance to talk about the future. 

“I brought you some coffee,” Aaron’s voice startled you out of your trance. You took the styrofoam cup and let the liquid inside warm your palms. “How are you feeling?” He asked. 

You shrugged. “Just… tired. It’s been a long few days.” 

He hummed. It’d been so long since you’d seen your brother in person, somehow he looked different. Worry drew lines on his face and his eyes glimpsed over at you with a mix of his usual seriousness, care, and a touch of hurt. 

“Jack misses you,” he finally said. “Haley was asking if you’d stop by sometime.” 

“Yeah,” you gulped down a sip of coffee. “Of course.” 

You turned back to the man in the window. Spencer’s bright face should have brought you some semblance of security, or at least relief that he would be okay after the events of the last few days. Instead, there was a gnawing feeling inside your gut and your mind traveled back to the hypnotherapist's office.

You were a killer. 

You were just like your mother. 

“He’d make a great dad, wouldn’t he?” You whispered, hoping that if you kept your voice low, Aaron wouldn’t hear the sorrow in your words. Tears welled in your eyes, everything clicking into place in your mind. 

You could never give Spencer that. A future. You would forever drag him into the past and he deserved so much more than that. He deserved someone who could make his face light up like it was right now. He deserved a life away from you. 

“He would,” Aaron agreed with a small smile. He turned just in time to see you rushing down the hall. “Y/N?” He called after you, but you kept going until you ran into a firm, entrapping barrier. 

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Not now, Derek.” You kept your eyes low so he wouldn’t see you cry. 

“Yes now,” he ordered. The taller man put his hands on your shoulders, keeping you in place. “Avoiding me isn’t going to make it go away.” 

“I really can’t do this right now-”

“That’s too damn bad because we’re going to.” He ushered you over to a bench, clearly not going to take no for an answer. “Sit down and look at me.” 

You obeyed. When he saw your tears, his face softened. 

“Just talk to me, Y/N.”

You scoffed and wiped your cheeks with your sleeve. “Everybody keeps saying that. Just talk. Tell them what’s wrong. But what am I supposed to say? That I see the woman I killed every time I close my eyes? That I’m afraid every single day that I’m only hurting everyone I care about, most of all Spencer.” You choked back a sob. “That I’ve been so scared that I started drinking again after four years of not touching a drop just so I could stop feeling for once.” 

You covered your face with your hands. Derek didn’t say anything. He just put a supportive hand on your back and waited for you to calm down again. It felt like you were back in that police station and he was pulling you back to the ground. 

“Y/N,” he started softly. “I know that you’re tough as nails and that brain of yours is more brilliant than I even know, but you can’t do this alone.” He moved you gently so that you were sitting up and looking at his face. “You have to tell them.” 

You shook your head. “No. No, I can’t. I can handle it, Derek. I’ve been handling it, I swear-”

He stood up. With that steady voice that had more than once kept you from going over the edge, he looked down at you. The guilt pouring through his thoughts made him want to lock you in a room so you could never be hurt again. Part of him knew that this was his fault. If he had just stayed with you…

He sighed. “Tell them, or I will.” 

-

It was almost morning by the time he left the hospital. He’d found a few pamphlets about newborns and read all of them, just in case. He’d already read several books since JJ announced she was pregnant, but the idea of being a godfather made him even more nervous. 

The exhaustion of the last few days was telling on him and he was ready to curl up with you and sleep for a week. From the rollercoaster with his parents to the happiness for JJ, all of his emotions felt draining. 

Spencer unlocked the door to the apartment and, as the door swung open, he knew something was wrong. Something about the silence felt off. Wrong. The apartment was dark. There was an unsettling stillness throughout the living room. It was as if his senses knew before his mind- a feeling he knew too well at this point. 

Spence put down his bag and walked to your desk where a small note in your handwriting said goodbye. 

-

The In-Betweens series: @amywright; shesoperfectt;  hereforsmutbcicantgetenough;  violetbossler;  hyper-half-blood;  i-bitch-you-bitch; xcastawayherosx; preciousbabypeter; @jori21; @sol-48;  @murdermornings ; @ staygoldsquatchling02; @ ara-a-bird

[bonefall]

hey, can i ask what your doing with sandstorm ? she’s one of my favorites in canon.

i know in better bones she’s not romantic with fireheart (bc he’s aro and that’s awesome heck yea) but he honor sires and co-parents with her. Also she’s redtail and runningflights kid and longtails sister, but i’d like to know more about her?

A thing i actually like about her that most people don’t is her sudden turn to being nice to fireheart, i mean, part of it anyways. i don’t like that in canon fireheart is just like “oh she’s nice now. hot” and doesn’t talk to her about it at all. BUT i do like that she decides to be nice to fireheart. that it’s character progression she does on her own, that it surprises fireheart.

I love the idea that as she got older, she had a moment where she realized that her animosity towards fireheart wasn’t really warranted (since she gets annoyed with how bb!dustpelt acts towards him too, maybe that’s a turing point for her here), that she dealt with her issues through self reflection, without fireheart noticing. I like the idea that she worked out most of her issues without talking to him, through her own strength, and then talks to him, apologizing and explaining why she acted like she did. and i think the catalyst, aside from dustpelt, shouldn’t be some moment like “he saves her in battle” it should just be some small act that he doesn’t even remember, that sets it all off, like giving someone their favorite food after they’ve had a really bad day, something small like that

idk i just really like sandstorm being able to deal with her issues on her own strength, showing how she’s matured, sorry for the wall of text lol

I feel you totally, this is all stuff I like about her too

100% of my problems with canon Sandstorm come from her mateship with Firestar, and the way the Erins write downright insufferable romance. I can't even have the satisfaction of being harsh towards FireSand, because it's one of the best in the cesspool of canon warrior ships.

She's great in Fire and Ice though! Something I really like about that book is how Fireheart is struggling with the question of if Clan life is really worth it, between Graystripe's distancing, the murder plot thickening, and still not fully fitting in with ThunderClan. Sandstorm is an extension of the entire Clan warming up to him, as he finally finds his place.

And something else I love, and think the romance plot gets in the way of, is how Sandstorm has her own mind and opinions. She's actually quite "traditionalist," distrustful of outsiders and unwilling to defy Bluestar’s will to stop war with WindClan. I like this about her! I think it's interesting that she isn't just Fireheart's waifu!

And that's the role I want her to have in Better Bones. She ALWAYS thinks for herself. She's an introspective and serious cat, a lot like her dad Redtail. Losing him was devastating to her, but she eventually asked herself: why DO I act like this towards Fireheart? Does he actually deserve it?

Eventually, her and Firestar are deep friends. See, Longtail is Firestar's DEPUTY, he doesn't go to him when he has a weird dream, he doesn't go for a walk in the woods and pop some rowanberries with him, he doesn't tell him about that time he tried to date Onewhisker. That's what he does with Sandstorm.

And eventually she wanted kits, and felt like doing that with her best friend was the best option. He'd raise furballs if it wasn't for her balancing his influence out.

But that aside, I enjoy her as a reliable but not ambitious warrior. She's close with her brother Longtail, lifelong friends with Dustpelt after he comes around, and a great mentor to Sorreltail

[bonesandthebees]

I’m a fic writer who does a lot of dark sbi/horror stuff, and this situation has been… a lot, to wrap my head around.

I know I’ll be able to keep my writing up — separate the character from the creator, like. Frankly, I have been doing, since I don’t watch a lot of Wilbur to begin with. Mostly Phil and his QSMP stuff.

I think I’m mainly just struggling with whether or not to post this one wip I’ve been working bits and pieces on for… a year and a half, maybe? Two? Based off of Shelby’s own Risk stream with him, Tom, Phil, Marriot and Sneeg. Shelby in the wip isn’t a main focus, but she IS there. And not exactly by choice, because. Again, horror writing.

I don’t know. It just feels an icky, now. I’ve been watching Shubble since I was a kid and it feels uncomfortable to try and create something that unintentionally lends itself to her trauma. It feels disrespectful to her. I don’t think that’s a project I want to put out there, but I feel like I’ve put so much into it.

I'm going to be honest, I think a fic like this might have to be scrapped. I'm sorry about that especially since you've been working on it for so long, but it could come across to some people like you're trying to gloss over what we now know about wilbur and shelby's relationship or ignore it or something like that. it's one thing for people to continue to write fic about c!wilbur interacting with characters from a server shelby was never on, but for a stream like that which didn't involve strict roleplay meaning it would lean closer to rpf than anything else, in context like that followed by what we know now of their actual irl relationship, it just feels like you're balancing on too thin of a rope. and yeah, in a way it does feel disrespectful to her.

again, I know you've put so much time into it so it's a real shame to scrap it. maybe you can rework it into an original story with original characters? that could be interesting!

of course though, I am just one person. my opinion is not a monolith. that's just my take on your situation.

[kitsumo]

CONTENT WARNING :: dicussion of HB (Helluva Boss), and abuse, if you don't wanna see stuff relating to this content the TL:DR is "grrrr i ahte the creator and the content" ok have a nice day.

Helluva boss is NOT good. I'm saying this outright, it is at best, mediocre, and at worst, a horrible piece of media that romanticizes abuse when it benefits from it. And as of the most recent episode, it leans far more into the worst-case scenario than the best.

*As a quick note; Yes, I’ve seen all the Helluva Boss episodes (As of S2E2). Do not try to claim anything relating to me just not having seen it, I have.

Helluva Boss for those uninformed, is an indie animation series by Vivienne Maree Medrano, more famously known as “Vivziepop”. The show follows boss of murder business Blitz as he struggles to balance his business and the encounters between him and Stolas.

The show, however, once you dive into it, is bad. It’s just. Bad. The writing is inconsistent, bland, and downright toxic at points.

The main plot line is a “Will they? Won’t they?” between Blitz & Stolas, y’know, the toxic ””couple””.

I’ll get more on the treatment of abuse within Helluva Boss later, but even without that; the story is plain and boring to watch because... You don’t really want the two to actually get together, and neither do the characters! With Blitz talking to Stolas at the end of S1E7 about how he can’t deal with the constant objectification and ignoring of his emotions.

Now that alone should’ve been an answer to “Will they? Won’t they?”, because they don’t want to.

The characters, however, are not a good source for how they feel because they flip-flop and lose character traits at a moment’s notice when the show wants them to. They never grow, and yet they never stay the same.

This is the main source of the inconsistencies, with characters acting unlike they should, making illogical choices, and of course, changing without reason and ignoring the change that they should’ve kept. 

(*The biggest examples of this I will provide are; Blitz promising Moxxie to be better and then instantly stalking him and his wife next episode; Octavia forgiving Stolas for no real reason besides being told to; and Blitz’s emotions about Stolas constantly swapping when the show so desires.)

The show’s writing is just downright bad, also. Boring, unfunny, and confusing, the show ignores its own setting and in-world rules, bends them to the character’s wills, and does whatever to make the plot it wants to happen, happen. In S2E2, Octavia asks for the book to “take her to the stars”. It then brought her to LA. But why? How does this book know lingo for a famous person? It’s obvious what Octavia wanted, and there is no real reason why she ended up in LA other than the episode’s plot called for it.

And at the end of the episode, Octavia forgives Stolas for no reason! Octavia is obviously upset that her dad doesn’t bother to check in on her or care for her in the slightest, (*He didn’t even know Octavia went missing, he had to be informed of this!) and what is the thing she’s told? “Oh well, everyone has issues, just because they don't act like they care doesn’t mean they don't!” 

Which... I don’t think I have to explain how that’s a terrible thing to say to a child who’s distressed about the situation regarding her parents.

Another thing, the whole “they met as kids”... Blitz is implied to be younger than Stolas, but then in S2E1, they’re the same age. This seems to be done purely for ship bait. Speaking of S2E1, let’s talk about how abuse is treated within Helluva Boss.

Stolitz is an inherently toxic and abusive relationship, the two meet when Blitz is sold to Paimon. And when they re-meet again years later, Stolas doesn’t even remember Blitz’s name but is far too eager to have sex with him. Although Blitz started that, he is clearly uninterested in the encounter, having snuck in to steal something from Stolas. 

Not to mention, the whole thing with Stolas being a prince of hell and Blitz being an imp. Vivzie has said (*Though this is never expanded upon, shown, reflected, or otherwise implied within the show itself besides snarky comments from Stolas and his dad.) that imps are at the lowest rank within hell’s hierarchy. With Stolas showing mild discomfort benign around imps before, it’s got bad implications when we’re supposed to see Stolas and Blitz as a cute couple. 

Stolas is shown being inappropriate with Blitz throughout the series, the worst example being his flirting with Blitz as he’s panicking instead of doing literally anything else in S2E2. Blitz is shown and outright states that he’s uncomfortable with this. Though with how inconsistent the characters act, this barely matters to the show except for when it can create fun ✨Drama.✨

But oh! No! Abuse is bad, actually! But only when characters we don’t like do it. At the end of S2E1, Stella (*Stolas’s wife.. Or, ex-wife.) is implied to be abusive towards Stolas, obviously, that isn’t good, abuse is bad… But... The abuse Stolas does… isn’t..? Oh when Stolas sexually harasses a person he perceives as being below him, and when he neglects the needs of his daughter, he’s just sad and lonely, isn’t he? Nope, he’s not abusive! He just needs someone to love him and fix him right up! (*Sarcasm.)

The show flips its moral when it so desires, and when it fits the narrative it wants to tell. Abuse is bad, but only when it happens to characters we like! Stalking and Sexual harassment is funny! Except when I decide it isn’t! You can’t have your cake and eat it, either the stuff that’s happening is bad, or it isn’t, you can’t portray abuse as fun and quirky but then turn around and say it isn’t when you benefit from it. 

And don’t anyone say anything like, “Oh but it’s hell! They’re supposed to be bad!” The show knows it’s bad. It just doesn’t want to portray things as bad if its darling characters do them.

And this isn’t... Just a Helluva Boss thing, either. There’s a weird pattern in Vivzie’s content where abuse is romanticized. Leaving little, if any, room to have the content get better when Vivzie’s the head writer and creator of the thing. 

It worries me heavily, mostly for the fans. 

Vivzie’s bred this weird, “creator’s word is law” community that praises her for breathing. And when this happens around a show and creator that treats abuse as something fun and cute, it’s concerning! Especially since a lot of her fans are not adults.

Her fandom attacks anything that opposes their norm, (*Sometimes, this includes Vivzie’s choices to change small details on designs!) blindly accepting whatever Vivzie does and dismissing flaws that breed into worse and worse problems.

It’s like a cockroach swarm, there’s never just “one” cockroach. And letting it just go, ignoring that it exists, will leave roaches infesting your cereal. 

And it’s... Not that you can separate the content Vivzie makes, after all, art is a personal thing. 

And if you can, what’s the line? When is too much, too much? If you can’t separate the art from the artist, what does that say about the artist themselves?

At the end of the day, Helluva boss and the likes concern me, not just for how bad it is, but for the fact that Vivzie’s brought back this weird, 2012 fandom that bullies, harasses, and pushes aside any criticism. Her fans, a large majority of them, lack media literacy, acknowledging the issues within a property you enjoy, is very important! It does suck when things turn out bad, but nothing good comes from ignoring issues. If you can’t handle a show you like maybe not being so great, how will you handle people you know ending up not being so great? 

Overall.. I’m concerned. Fans I have known, act not very great. Fans I’ve just seen passing by, act not very great, and Vivzie herself, doesn’t act very great.

I don’t think you can separate this art from its artist.

[sombrerokiwi]

HIYA KIWI

Do you have any nuggets of wisdom (Hikari hcs) that you wanna share with the class?

BOY DO I!

Anyways here’s a list

-He’s Biromantic Asexual. I don’t make the rules

-He neurodivergent. Projecting on him and giving him slight ADHD but I wouldn't be surprised if he has other things that fall under the neurodivergent umbrella

-When he entered the Shrine of the Thunderblade he told Brand to shut up, not knowing that it's Brand and not the Shadow

-There's a really complicated plan that he and Rai Mei came up with when they were younger so that if ever there is pressure to marry someone and they just put an arranged marriage on each other since they like each other enough to be saying that they're legally married and just so people can stop bugging them on it. That moment where you and your friend like each other a lot but not romantically but everyone is kind of putting pressure on you to marry someone so you just marry each other so that people would shut up

-He's that kid who probably is going to go through Gifted Kid Burnout. Or already did. We don't know his childhood. But he's going to go through it and it's going to suck ass.

-He likes walking on ledges and stuff. It's fun to practice balance and he likes being tall. Everyone sort of goes and makes sure that he doesn't fall when he does this.

-Secondary Job I feel like he sticks to the most is the Apothecary Job. He wants to heal people with his hands. To help them. To ease their wounds.

-Hikari's sense of humor is all over the place because of his friendships with Ritsu, Rai Mei, and Kazan. His sense of humor just goes all over the place. Which one do you want, puns, visual punchline, or hypothetical situations.

-I'm making him partially Filipino from his Mom's side because I'm projecting and because I am incapable of not doing that with everyone. He speaks broken Tagalog and is trying his best with it. He probably teaches himself when he is with the Travelers

-He tends to pick up mannerisms that the people he's around has. Like he just picks them up and incorporates them into his routine subconsciously

-He has that thing where he loathes silence but at the same time loathes noise. There's a good middle part somewhere

-He struggles with self-confidence and acceptance. There are many cons in having a Curse who wishes for violence at every turn and tries to tempt you into it and tells you that you're terrible. Honestly the Curse can be described as Intrusive Thoughts in my opinion

-He puts too much pressure on himself. Way too much pressure.

-Has those thoughts where he wants nothing more than to kill Mugen but at the same time still wants to love Mugen

-Honestly his thoughts with family is complicated. He wants to leave the moment he can but he needs to stay for his people and it'll feel like defeat if he truly leaves. He wants things to be okay but they aren't. He wishes that he had a normal family experience and not a broken one

-I think he would play an instrument. I don't know what but he would. He should actually. As a treat

-Honestly if he had an element assigned to him I would have done Lightning

[servants-hall]

The TGA parts below:

DEADLINE: In the finale of The Gilded Age Season 2, the moment where the tables turn and Ada (Cynthia Nixon) becomes the one effectively in charge, since she has the money now and will be paying the staff, what a moment that was for Agnes. How will she handle that going forward?

BARANSKI: Agnes’s world from day one, the arrival of her niece, the earth, the world, the ground, was always moving underneath her feet in a way that she was never on solid ground from the first episode of the first season, because of the arrival of the neighbors across the street, and then the arrival of the niece. But with Ada, with the second season, you have the person closest to me and dearest to me falling in love, getting married, moving away, and then Agnes is having to somehow rise to the occasion because I love her so much and accept that. But then I lose all my money, and she inherits money. It’s just too delicious. It’s all in one season. I don’t know how Julian packed it all in, but it was a banquet for me as an actress, because when you have a character that’s that rigid and haughty, and has such a firm sense of herself and what her world is, and you just see so many cracks occurring in her world, it’s funny, and it’s sad, and it’s very dramatic.

DEADLINE: It made me think of Diane Lockhart a little bit, because they are both women who are utterly in control of themselves and they both lose their money and carry on pulling it together. You can’t knock these women down, and I love that.

BARANSKI: You can’t, no. It’s a study. It’s funny you say that because I was thinking of the similarities of Diane and Agnes. The world around them, the world that they know, that they respect, that they’ve adhered to, with Diane it was the legal world, the rule of law. And the political world, the world that she believed in. You watch her struggle to keep her balance in a world where the guardrails are coming off, and it is true of Agnes. The society in which she is living is changing so rapidly, and inside her own house with the arrival of her niece, who’s this young feisty woman, and her own sister. That’s inside her house domestically, but then her outer world, the people across the street are changing her world. And how do people like that, women like that, keep their integrity and keep their sense? How do they survive that? It’s been wonderful to play both roles for that reason.

DEADLINE: It’s such an accolade to women throughout history because you see these characters, regardless of the period, who are essentially the steel spine of their society and their families, or the company where they work, and they are these unsung heroes that women have so often been.

BARANSKI: Yeah. I often say that I’m playing a lot of Agnes as my mother. My mother grew up in the Depression, and she actually told me they did stuff newspapers in their shoes and walked to school in Buffalo, New York, if you know Buffalo winters. And she had to walk home for lunch and eat jelly sandwiches every day for years. And she fell in love and married a man who went off to fight World War II. And when he came home, she wanted to be a homemaker and a mother, and my father died when I was eight years old. She had two kids to raise. She didn’t even know how to drive a car. She had to look for work. She had to begin her life again, like Diane, and she was one of the strongest women. She survived three different bouts of cancer. Lung cancer, breast cancer, and lymphoma, and she just went through whatever treatments she had to go through. She lived to 85, and she just played the hand she was dealt. And she was strong, and she had a great sense of humor. She was a tough old broad, and Julian loves tough old broads. He writes those women and he respects them.

[...]

DEADLINE: I know that you met Julian at an awards show and got talking about the Gilded Age as an era before this show came about.

BARANSKI: Well, I so love Downton Abbey, and I had heard somewhere in the ether of showbiz gossip that Julian wanted to do an American version. And after one of my many Emmy losses, at an HBO party, he was sitting there and I approached him. And I spoke to him about it, and I said, “I’m married to a man, my late husband, was a Drexel from the Drexel family, and that was, of course, one of the New York aristocratic Gilded Age families. I began talking to him about it, and we had the longest conversation. And I didn’t know Julian then. Talk about manifestation! All those years later I get a call saying, “Julian has written this show for HBO, and they’re offering you this.” I was the first person to be offered a role, and at the time, I was committed to The Good Fight. So, I was working for another company. I was working for CBS and Paramount Plus, and they didn’t want to share me because it meant possible overlapping. You couldn’t be the lead in one show for one network and a lead in another. They just didn’t allow that. I wrote to the head of Paramount Plus, and I said, “This is an opportunity of a lifetime. I’ve spent years of my life as an actress training to do that kind of a role and because of the nature of only filming a half a year with The Good Fight, that means I have a lot of time off. And what do I do with that time? Now I’m in the prime of my career.” Anyway, it was a very heartfelt letter and two days later they let it happen. He let me go to do both… It was just back-to-back, but it’s what I call a champagne problem. Oh my gosh, I’ve got two shows, not one.

DEADLINE: You’re shooting The Gilded Age Season 3 right now. Can you hint at all where Agnes is going?

BARANSKI: Well, she has to cope, doesn’t she? She’s suddenly not the head of the household, which you can tell from the way Season 2 ended, that this proud haughty lady who was used to being number one is suddenly not that. So that fall from grace and that fall from power, that’s always such a delicious thing to play, and the fall of a King is just as exciting as the rise. So it makes for a lot of humor, I think, her having to eat humble pie. It’s as eventful as Season 2, because Season 1 was largely establishing all those characters. It was a lot of exposition, but I think the reason Season 2 was so exciting to people is they were already invested in these characters, they knew the world of The Gilded Age and they were ready to go with the high drama. So that’s pretty much continuing into Season 3. It’s amazing to me how popular and how invested the public is since the second season. If you think about it, really, you could do this show for 10 years because it’s all American history and how this world was. America was changing so rapidly during these years. I mean, it could take you into the beginning of the 20th century. It’s just thrilling.

DEADLINE: So you would, in theory, do this for as long as Julian wants to make it?

BARANSKI: In a word, yes. It shoots in Brooklyn. She’s a magnificent character. There are all kinds of places you could take her. As I said, there’s so many narratives he could spin because it’s these characters living through a turbulent and transformative time in American history. And I love my colleagues. I adore Cynthia. I mean, she’s just the best acting pal.

DEADLINE: Right, you’ve known her forever, since you played mother and daughter on stage in The Real Thing in 1984.

BARANSKI: Yes, and all of us are all these great theater actors. I mean, you walk in the hair and makeup trailer and it’s like everybody’s won a Tony Award, or two or three. It’s delicious stuff.

[vexingviolet]

WATERPARKS TAROT READING

~General energy of the band currently~

Yeah, baby! I sense a weak spot and I’m here to exploit it! I love doing tarot and I love the things that I love. I figured I could always use the practice so here I am, doing tarot reads for whatever I want on tumblr apparently.

Just to state this clearly. This is to be taken as entertainment. I do not know them. I don’t know shit. I can’t speak for them. I’m going off of my interpretations of the cards and it’s all in good fun.

That’s enough of that. I wanted this to just be a tentative little read on the energy of parx because I am obsessed with the idea of hearing the country song. I’ve been streaming the fuck out of FAI2 and that means waterparks is always on the brain at the moment.

———————

So. To start off, the energy color/ vibes I’m getting are fucking interesting.

For the band as a whole I got this very very very strong creamsicle orange. Which??? Not what I thought I’d be seeing at all. I went in thinking I’d get a strong blue but no. Nope. Orange. This is the closest pic I could find but it’s still so different

Geoff has this lovely strong and rich green color. Like the ~good grass~ that’s super soft. It’s a very sure color as well.

As for Otto, he has this velvety purple color. It’s almost hypnotic like those water things you shake that have lots of shimmery stuff in it? That’s the vibe. Again a very sure color.

Now Awsten. Personal bias did me dirty for this. I figured Awsten would have a very “loud” or sure color. Because… you know… that would make sense. But no. The best way I can describe this color is like kids lipgloss. It’s just a lot softer and more honest than I thought it’d be. Kinda like these but more specifically the sugar sprinkle and the vanilla one (if you’re old enough to remember the snap-gloss we are best friends now)

Okay, now to the actual tarot part

The overall energy of Waterparks is the Empress reversed. This card speaks of anxiety and uncertainty as well as not being satisfied with the current state of things. Because this is the energy for the band as a separate entity sort of thing, I’d say this has to do with this current state of independence/ finding their footing kinda deal.

As for the things contributing to this Empress in reverse

We have the chariot card. This is very interesting because this card talks about lot about successfully conquering obstacles and being motivated and confident in your journey. Seeing this card in this context gives me the vibe of fighting for something and realizing that winning that battle, getting over that hurdle is just the start of this journey you’ve set out on. It’s being confident about being in motion but It’s also the feeling of relief that can’t yet be fully enjoyed because you see a long path still ahead of you. (Ever been on a road trip where you’re halfway through and you hit mad fucking traffic? When you get through it you’re so excited you aren’t going 5 miles an hour on the highway anymore but then you remember you still have half the fucking trip left?)

Moving on to the 6 of coins now. This card talks of a change in circumstance as well as give-and-take. At first I was confused… an then I continued to be confused so I pulled a clarity card. That was the 2 of coins which talks about a struggle for balance, needing clarity (lol), and a choice. I would say that this specifically to me makes me think that there was a big decision that they needed help with (being independent?) and they’ve been lucky enough to have people around them who are in a position to help steady/balance out their scale. It’s also giving a choosing the lesser of two evils. But more than that I feel like it’s a bridge between the chariot and this next card

The world reversed. This card talks about a partial success, disappointing outcome and a sort of doubt in your own capabilities. Womp womp.

The death card at the bottom of the deck is a foreseen end and accepting the inevitable. It’s transformation. This makes me think that this “change in circumstance” was always going to happen. Entirely unavoidable. It also feels to me like there’s some sprinkle of embracing uncomfortable truths regarding longevity, motivation and relevance.

To sum up, moving too quickly out of necessity(?) with possibly unrealistic expectations have left them anxious and dissatisfied as well as doubting their capabilities in this time of “death” and/or rebirth. They’re left in this balancing energy of having to give and take and juggle responsibilities and freedom and make “compromises” they’d rather not make (probably pertaining to comfort). Also, in a money sense it feels like an “in-out” kind of deal. Could also be them being able to put out music and do what they want in that realm at the cost of promotions and connections. But it’s also good! There’s a feeling of determination throughout this whole thing.

Also more reliant on give and take with fans (stream FAI2 for that fucking country song, baby)

I also wanted to get a feel for the energy between them all. For that I got 6 of swords, 9 of swords and 6 of cups.

6 of swords is about moving past comfort in search of growth. Something like an intentional shift in mental state. With the 9 of swords we see what is essentially nightmares. It’s being troubled by worry, anxiety and despair. The 6 of cups is memories of the past. It’s being happy and imaginative. It’s nostalgia for good childhood memories and friends.

So… there may have been a period of unspoken contempt or unchecked fear and emotions that created a bit of turbulence or friction between them? Obviously I don’t know them so I can’t truly speak to this but it feels a bit like they let these bad things fester between them, likely due to stress, and eventually either they talked it out (or will idk) or worked through those emotions individually. Reminiscing on the past could have brought them clarity and perhaps led making a very big decision involving the direction of the band.

Things that I thought of and may/ may not be relevant :

Hear, see, speak- (no evil?)

Purple- in the context of blue and red?

26 & 14

Car

Back and shoulder

Yellow- hair? Clothes? Like bright yellow

Daisies

Skeleton key, like a cool one. Apparently it should be kept by the front door?

Pink eraser

Hubba bubba (the stupid tape gum. The sour green apple was the best and I will die on that hill)

Grey pants blue shirt.

Open bottles.

1111

———-

That’s all for now. I hope you had fun reading. I want to do more readings especially for waterparks bc the new album and what not (also I want to know why Awsten has kids lipgloss energy lol) so I’ll be back eventually for more.

[waitmyturtles]

(CW: LOTS OF JOYFUL YELLING)

I LOVE OUR DINING TABLE, I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! I LOOOOOVVVVEEE ITTTTTTTTTTT.

We’re already getting into GOOD Kinou Nani Tabeta/great pace/lovely softness/all the emotions/fabulous food shots territory! Flashbacks! Little kids! Lots of ma! Longing shots of dudes!

Fuck yes. God damn it, I am so, SO happy TBS adapted this manga.

(Before I go on, I must implore any of you who have the time to PLEASE read this manga. It’s only one volume, beautifully translated, and I think the dorama is going to hew close to the story — at least, this first episode did. It is SUCH a fabulous read.)

I don’t have the moments to write a whole deep thing, but let me continue to list what I loved about this show and what I hope they’ll dive into more:

1) RICE! Y'all know I love rice, and I ESPECIALLY LOVE SHOWS that feature rice as a humble but potent character. (Oh, how I miss you, Moonlight Chicken.)

Onigiri is the humblest of foods, but also so beloved. (Onigiri can actually be a little difficult to make, as depicted in the Kinou Nani Tabeta manga -- if you place the hot rice on your bare hands, you salt your hands in advance and prepare for some owies.)

So about the rice: making rice in a nabe takes legit skill. I've burnt rice in a nabe before, as I'm really only used to using a rice cooker, but: rice out of a nabe is DEFINITELY special, because of the ability to make a crunchy bottom layer of rice at the end. If you can balance the timing just right, that crunchy layer adds so much depth and flavor to the rice. (I got this to make nabe rice at home, and you really need to use proper Japanese short-grain rice to get the best result, in my own opinion as a home cook -- but I'd love to learn tricks from others on how to use this pot for other types of rice, as I'm not skilled enough yet to do that.)

One more point about crunchy/crispy rice: it's beloved across Asia/Eurasia/the Middle East. Persian tahdig, Korean nurungji and dolsot bibimbap (when you order a dolsot bibimbap, mix everything as fast as you can and smush the rice against the hot stone bowl, then let it CHILL for a couple minutes -- then scrape it all off and mix the crunchy rice in with all your bibimbap stuff and AAAAHHHH SO GOOD), all the peeps love it. 

So Minoru and Tane getting excited about all the different aspects of nabe rice is so meaningful (the crunchy layer, the middle part of the rice), because honestly -- eating nabe rice means that you're at HOME, and someone at HOME knows how to make this humble food so well. Sitting around a nabe, whether it's filled with rice or a stew, means that you're likely sitting around a table with people you love, eating together. Our Dining Table takes this motif right out of the batting cage and hits a home run with it. (@respectthepetty, I'm goin' off on the food again, natch.) Sigh. All of this makes me so happy. And there's so much more food to look forward to in the show.

2) I love that the yellow smiley face motif is taking a flight from Thailand to Japan. This means a lot if you know Yutaka's backstory already.

3) I think the dorama is going to make me appreciate this even more than the manga, but it's a hell of a lot of work to take care of a little kid, lol. Seeing Minoru grabbing Tane when Tane first met Yutaka, it gave me the mom feels. This is also a really important point to this story, but -- visually seeing Minoru struggle automatically made me understand his character even more.

GIVE ME MORE OF THIS SHOW! Y'all, it's already so great, and it's going to get better. All of the emojis, all of them. I'm meeping so hard!

[toomanyopinionss]

Ok, it’s bout time to talk about

Titans

disclaimer- i’ll only be talking about seasons 1 and 2 of the show

…

Has a show ever made you feel so conflicted, you can’t even tell if you actually like it or not? This is that show for me. There’s so much I really like about this show, but also so much that irks me.

Let’s start with the good :)

- i LOVE a found family show. There’s something so comforting abt finding a home in people who are so different from you.

- I realllly like how not all of them are teenagers, but not all of them are adults. It makes for a nice balance and blends in nice with the more adult themes the show has. I love watching the older titans (ALL of them with their trauma, rough childhoods, and mommy and/or daddy issues) try and take care of the younger ones, giving them the good role models they didn’t have.

- The backstories are done so well. I’m a girl who likes context, and when I tell you some of my favorite episodes are the ones where we get to see how the hero’s ended up where they are. It’s just so good.

- All of them have done awful things. Not one titan has a clear conscience. but instead they’re all trying to navigate this fvcked up world like the rest of us. it humanizes them a bit, which i like.

also not all of them have super powers. I like how hawk and dove are not super powered in the least. they saw a need to become the superhero’s they never got when they were younger, and then they did that shit. we LOVEEEE.

Now, for the bad :/

-This show suffers immensely from the current trend of short seasons. it’s biggest enemy is time. this type of show require 20 episodes per season, at LEAST. i guess i should count it as a blesssing that they got more than 10 episodes for the first two seasons, which is more than i can say for every other show i’ve watched this year. Because of this, though, Titans has had to balance introducing the characters and exploring their relationships, while also trying to progress the story along. The fact that they manage to fit at least a couple backstory episodes in there is a miracle. but it leads to my next point

-The villains suck ass. When i watched Teen Titans as a kid, Trigon gave me nightmares. but the trigon here was giving antagonist in one of those rated R blockbuster summer vacation movies. and he was defeated in like 15 minutes by season two episode 1

Back in my Arrow days, I remember Slade being scary af. my man made every aspect of Oliver Queen’s life hell on earth for like 30 episodes. we as an audience had to watch as he slowly took apart his life piece by piece. but here? the only reason i gave a shit abt slade was because of Jericho, my beloved. Yeah the titans fell apart, but that was more attributed to Dick failing as a leader. it probably would have happened sooner or later even without slade there. also, conner and garfield with cadmus posed more of a threat than he did by the finale, which is saying something .

i will say that jericho twist got me though, that stuff was good.

-Jason. this team FAILED jason. I will never get over how spectacularly every single person either couldn’t see, or refused to see how this boy was struggling. Whenever I think abt it, it angers me. even BEFORE he fell off the damn building. I mean, the adults pour all this time and love into raven and… raven, but when it comes down to it, there was no support for him. HOW COULD JASON BE STANDING ON THE ROOF OF THE TITANS TOWER THINKING OF ENDING IT ALL, AND DICK MAKES IT ALL ABOUT HIMSELF? I saw a bit of the first episode of season 3, and i couldn’t go on until i poured out my thoughts somewhere. I don’t know if he’s actually dead, cause u really never know with these types of shows. if he is though? his blood is on the hands of every single adult figure in his life. fvck them ALL.

Quite frankly, there’s so many more

things that I’ve yet to touch

stupid story decisions, some bad acting, a gaping lack of lgbtq+ characters, at least in the 2 seasons i’ve watched

but i’m getting upset so let me just end it with this:

The show is farrrr from perfect. but it’s got a good heart, i think. and i can just tell when a network is getting ready to cancel something. so if anyone comes across this post who hasn’t watched the show, give it a shot

6.5/10 stars. maybe 7 if dick gets his act together for season 3

[childotkw]

i'd also like a top ten list but of your own characters :D I am still intrigued about your original stories and I'd like to know how you rank them and why

Oh god I don’t know if I can contain this to just ten, I’ve had a lot more OG stories crop up over the years that I haven’t spoken about on here 😂 why don’t I do top 3-5 for each?

Aasdfsdgfsdfklgjsd this is so long I'm so sorry 😂😂😂😂

Storm Son Series

Tristan - he is my boy! My son! So earnest, and he wants to be a good ruler to make his mother proud while protecting his friends. He can be reckless and headstrong, but is a natural leader and charismatic. Still young enough to believe in the good of others, a bit naïve and idealistic, but it's endearing. Comes up with crazy plans on the fly, and loves Alden and Sena so much he's ridiculous.

Alden - he’s just…so cool to me. Perpetually responsible, to the point of being obsessive when carrying out his duties. He seems reckless, but he knows his own capabilities so well that any risks he takes are actually calculated down to the finest detail. He is the one that enables Tristan’s crazy plans. He’s got ~hidden trauma~, but loves Tristan and Sena enough to let them in.

Sena - she's very Angry but she’s got Reasons for it. An outcast, she just wants to find her place in the world, and have a family with someone that genuinely loves and respects her. She’s not human, and is insanely strong, to the point where yeeting Alden at an enemy is a move they hone and use regularly. She loves Alden and Tristan and would die to protect them.

Lucas - the cool suave mentor figure. Massive DILF energy. Alden is his protege and thinks he is “all the best parts” of Lucas. Pseudo-father-son relationship on full blast. Lucas has done some bad shit in his past though, and it makes other, older characters very wary and distrusting of him.

Rosen - main villain. He’s clever and dangerous, and can come across as a madman but he’s actually fully in control at all times and that makes it way worse. Calculative and manipulative, he’s all-in in his plots and confident that he can win. Mildly obsessed with Alden because of his undisclosed past with Lucas.

Undertow

Cassius - if trauma had an associated image it would be his face. This man desperately needs a break. A child soldier, he struggles emotionally to connect with others whenever he tries, and has a lot of identity issues. He loves his twin brother, and though he does a lot of horrible stuff, he's equally messed up by it. He's my punching bag and is a water mage.

Darian - Cassius' twin and number one protector. Can, has and will throw hands to keep his brother safe. Darian is a lot more carefree and emotionally stable, but he also hides a very dark streak. He enjoys fighting, revels in violence and is borderline psychotic with only Cassius existing in his sphere of loved ones. He's a fire mage, and terrifyingly suited to his element.

Cenli - the head of the institute that trains the mages. She's cold and political, using others for her own gain without hesitation. She only wants to protect the institute. Does play a somewhat maternal role for Cassius and Darian but it's a very complex relationship.

Kalim (might be renamed) - high ranking bad dude that's obsessed with Cassius because he saw him do A Grisly Murder once and it tickled his fancy. He's playing 4D chess against everyone and is very hard to predict. Pretty much everyone hates when he's around because they all know he's up to something but they can never prove it.

Trials of Edos

Eli - probably the sweetest all-around character I’d ever write. He’s young, like fourteen, and very much a Classic Hero that wants to save everyone even at cost to himself. Selfless and kind to balance out the absolute magical power he’s packing. Kid could destroy the sun but he won’t because he’s a Good Boy. Needs supervision though because he attracts trouble.

Ariella - a thief with an honour code that means she can’t let Eli throw himself at the Big Bad alone. She gets caught up in the plot and just never leaves. Very confident, very switched-on, very competent. She finds Cayden adorable because he’s trying to be chivalrous and respectful. She enjoys pushing his buttons.

Cayden - a knight from an extinct order that swears loyalty to Eli after he saves him. He’s just a good guy, bit out of touch but genuine. Ariella both terrifies and fascinates him, and they work well together. He’s got a lot of guilt and trauma though, which springs up at the oddest times and makes his friends very protective of him.

Gods and monsters (not officially named)

Ira - disgruntled immortal wizard (think 5000+ years) that is forever in service of the royal family. He’s got Tired Dad energy when interacting with Elana but everyone else just gets a glare. He’s insanely powerful, has a long, long history and Knows A Lot Of Shit because he’s been around for it all. Very Angry at the Gods for Very Valid Reasons.

Elana - Princess-turned-Queen after her father’s death. She’s twelve/thirteen, very inexperienced and has been ‘given’ Ira as her key advisor, but she has no idea who or what he is. Very quickly bonds with him as a father-figure, and wants to uncover all of his secrets. She’s inquisitive and clever but painfully young, and still believes in goodness and fairness and daydreams.

Constance - Elana’s grandmother, former Queen. She’s old and not always aware of what’s happening around her, but she and Ira have a past because he was her key advisor when she was Queen. She’s very respected by her people, but had a vicious streak not many know about.

Ziris - the god of fortune / misfortune. Very young, only about 800 years old. He’s a troublemaker and fickle but if you catch his interest he’ll be ride-or-die for you. Very loyal to his goddess-mother, and is heavily involved in the politics of the Gods. He has a fondness for irritating Ira, and likes Elana.

Dystopian (not officially named)

Piers Erinson - my sad, wet, pathetic son. Someone needs to get this boy some therapy. Very self-destructive, way kinder than you would expect. A member of the DOVEs, which are the elite troops / spies of the Council. He was strong armed into service after a mishap with his old squad, and is the nephew of a hated former DOVE, and traitor. He’s forever trying to escape that shadow, and carries a lot of guilt over what happened to his squad. He would die for Etta, his DOVE partner - and tries to multiply times but she just won’t let him.

Etta Litman - my daughter! Badass lady, 10/10 want to be her friend. Etta was part of Piers’ squad when The Thing happened. She saw him spiralling and joined up with DOVE to keep an eye on him, essentially threw herself to the wolves to protect him from the system and all the corrupt people. She’s very patient, supportive and empathetic to Piers, seeing him as a surrogate younger brother. Anyone else can get fucked in her eyes. She’s super protective of him and will punch anyone who insults him at the drop of a hat.

Dacre Cygnet - rebel, wants to fight the Council and the system and probably God too. Very manipulative, often lies to even his friends if it’ll get him what he wants (and he might even feel bad about it). Blinded by his mission and fully willing to go through people if they stand in his way. Feels many things all at once towards Piers that he cannot compute because he’s a bit of an asshole, very much a “you are the only person I’d hesitate to shoot, please don’t use that against me” kinda deal. They’re on opposite sides technically but he pines.

Marie Fowlep - Piers and Etta’s mentor in DOVE. She had a history with Piers’ uncle, and you can’t tell if she wants to keep Piers safe or wants to use him until he breaks. Doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body but would go to bat for her kids operatives. She’s a “the ends justify the means” kind of lady. Can be very mean.

Rust and Ruin

Mikol - youngest child of Emperor Bendek and Royal Consort Anilise. He’s aware from a young age of the shitty position his mother (and he) have in Otrar’s court and feels a deeper connection to her as both of them were considered ‘outsiders’ due to their features. After his mother died, Mikol spent the next nine years in his mother’s country as a ward, and grew to be a cunning, quick-witted and strong leader. He travelled all over, joined the army, learning as much as he could about how badly his family ruled, and eventually returned to Otrar. He’s an ambitious little fucker and doesn’t get along with his older siblings, especially his oldest half-brother Leonil.

Orryn - born in Troam Siana, the isle of the Ashri (those capable of different types of magic), he was quickly singled out as a new type of Ashri (called Okaeti - capable of energy manipulation). He grew lonely though as the only Okaeti, and made his way to Otrar. Decades later he’s still there, acting as an advisor to the royal family but growing increasingly frustrated with how they govern. He was close friends with Anilise and grows to care for Mikol.

Anilise - the daughter of the King of Evaria, she was forced to marry Emperor Bendek after their country was conquered. Anilise was fifteen, completely isolated in a foreign, hostile court, and essentially forced to breed over and over because the Empress could not carry more children herself. She’s quiet and subdued, treated more as an ornament than a person. Anilise birthed four children, all made to look like the Emperor and Empress in utero by an Ashri magic. Anilise had little to no contact with her children, who grew up thinking the Empress was their mother. Mikol is her only child that looks like her, so she was allowed to raise him. Unfortunately, her constant pregnancies deteriorated her health to the point where she was bedridden, and she died when Mikol was six.

Leonil - the oldest of Bendek’s children, he’s a cruel and cunning young man that wants the throne. He has a particular dislike for Mikol, who he acknowledges is the most dangerous of his half-siblings, and the two of them are each other’s main rival / enemy. Leonil is married with his own young son, and loves his wife and child fiercely. He is ruthless when it comes to defending his claim to the throne, and wants Mikol out of the way.

Delia - Leonil’s wife and a very charming, conniving woman. She’s a softer touch when it comes to manipulating others, and shares what information she gleans with her husband. She also thinks Mikol is dangerous but thinks he'd be more beneficial on their side than against them. She is an excellent politician, and people often underestimate her.

[pocket-of-summer]

Chapter 4 - Author’s Notes

Hey! Thank you everyone for your patience. I’ve probably said this, I’m aware my update speed isn’t the fastest and even then each update isn’t that long (writing is hard)...of course this is just a personal project for myself first and foremost, but even I wish I could chip away at it a bit faster lol. Either way I don’t want to overpromise anything with this dumb little story so just come along for the ride, feel free to drop off and get on wherever 😂 Thank you for checking it out!

This chapter’s notes covers a bit on Akihiro and Zemimon, but also some stuff we saw in the chapter.

▶Go to: - Continue to Chapter 5

Akihiro

Akihiro’s given name (秋広 Akihiro) literally means autumn ‘秋’ wide/vast ‘広’. Ok so with the reveal of the gods(?) in this chapter actually their names kinda have some meaning! A bit! I’ll write more about it below.

His family name (小川 Ogawa) literally means small ‘小’ river ‘川’. That completes the family names being based on water 😂 I think they were supposed to be more important in the story, but now it’s just more of a...theme thing?

I remember in one of my old posts someone commented something like he gives off Iori (Digimon 02) vibes...yes!!! I guess I made him kind of the ‘good boy intellectual’ of the group haha, with some traits similar to Koushiro (Digimon Adventure) and Iori.

Zemimon

So, Zemimon’s initial design was actually meant to be like an insect-dino cross:

It’s a pretty cool idea right!? But I couldn’t really get any ideas for his evolutions, and also him being a dino kind of overlaps with Pangorumon’s dino-based evolution line. I do honestly like the idea though and might like to use it for something else in the future...

Zemimon’s next design is more bug-like, but leaning more mechanical? I wouldn’t mind it but I guess it’s hard to make bug designs look balanced as a cyborg (I feel like they can go either organic or mechanical-looking, but I struggle to design something that looks clearly in-between). And since there is that subtle theme of ancient gods(?) in the story, I kinda wanted to go for something more organic-leaning. Which brings us to the current Zemimon design!

Other notes

As mentioned earlier, the kids’ given names have kinda a bit of relation to the gods:

“Haru-no-Kami, the god of spring, he watches the heavens and the stars.” Haruka’s name (春日) means ‘spring sun’.

“Natsu-no-Kami, the god of summer, she watches the earth and the seas.” Natsumi’s name (夏海) means ‘summer sea’.

“Aki-no-Kami, the god of autumn, he watches the great expanse and all who exist within.” Akihiro’s name (秋広) means ‘autumn expanse’.

“Fuyu-no-Kami, the god of winter, she watches the flow of time and every moment in eternity.” Chifuyu’s name (千冬) means ‘thousand winters’.

Hahaha so the names have (a bit) of meanings...what does it mean?? Let’s hope I manage to survive and continue the story to the point where it’s explained a bit better 🤣

Also we saw Murexmon this chapter! I was already set on her general body shape but so indecisive regarding her helmet lol.

Also yes she can come out of her helmet! She doesn’t usually do it because she’s totally defenseless in this form. Imagine a soft slug, but without the slime...the texture would feel like a plush toy but alive, kind of. Does she have legs? It’s a mystery O:

Lastly, the enemy Digimon of this chapter is the official Digimon WaruSeadramon! Yes if you’ve watched Digimon Adventure there’s the not-so-subtle parallel of WaruSeadramon triggering Dedemon’s evolution like how MegaSeadramon triggered Ikkakumon’s evolution in Adventure lol 😆

That’s all for now! I start a new job tomorrow so I don’t know what that will mean for my already slow update speed 😵‍ I hope it goes smoothly so I can continue their story!

[drowning-moonlight]

My review for Shazam! Fury of the Gods

transcript below the cut

Shazam 2 was fine, you guys are just mean.

I thought it was good. Not really, really good. But good. I really liked the first Shazam. I liked it enough to see it three times in the theaters and even buy the DVD. Yes, people still watch those. And while I liked Fury of the Gods, I’m not sure if I would buy the DVD. I saw it twice but I don’t have plans to see it another time. Maybe I will, maybe not. I’ve seen a lot of people and critics really not like it but I don’t think it was that bad at all. Just not as good as the first one. I’m going to get into some spoilers so if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to know what happens, click away! So something I didn’t care for with this new Shazam was how little screen time the young actor for Billy received. Like Asher Angel was in maybe five scenes in the entire movie, which I think was a shame. Young Billy was there towards the beginning of the movie and a few scenes at the end but not hardly at all in the middle. I just would have liked a better balance between adult Billy and teenage Billy. Also, one of his struggles in the movie was his fear of aging out of the foster care system, meaning that once he turns 18 in a few months, Victor and Rosa won’t get checks from the government anymore, which will make him feel like a burden the way Mary does. This is only mentioned briefly like twice and I thought it could make for some interesting conflict so I was a little disappointed that that was resolved so easily. I mentioned Mary and her conflict was about her feelings about being an adult and wanting to get a job to help support the family. In the first movie, she wanted to go to college but expressed doubts about that when Billy saved her from getting hit by that truck. She wanted the campus experience but felt bad about leaving the family. But in this movie, she didn’t go to college at all but still studies textbooks. I don’t understand why they didn’t just have her get an online degree. You can go to school completely online nowadays and not have to move so that seems like a simple solution to her problem so I don’t know why that’s such a conflict for her in the second movie. I mean it’s not that much of a conflict because it’s only mentioned two or three times, but still. This is definitely what I liked about the first movie far more for is that it was more character driven, for the most part. Fury of the Gods is definitely more plot driven than character driven. Okay the first one was plot driven but also had a lot of character driven elements as well. If you take out Sivana from the first Shazam, even if you take out all of the magic stuff, there is still all of the conflict with the family and Billy trying to find his mom and all of that. If you take the magic and Daughters of Atlas out of Fury of the Gods, well there’s not much more to the movie, because a lot of the characters’ conflict between each other is only briefly mentioned a handful of times. I just wish it focused more on Billy’s fear of aging and Mary wanting to actually feel like an adult and Freddy wanting to be more independent and so on and so on. The other three kids didn’t really get much of an arc. They showed Eugine trying to map out the magic door room which I thought was cool and Pedro finding cool stuff like Steve the pen in the library. Darla got a cat named Tawny, you know like the tiger from the comics. I did like that they unequivocally confirmed that Pedro is gay. So in the first Shazam, there’s a scene where they go to a strip club and he says that’s not really his thing. Many fans took this as a hint that he could be either gay or asexual. Well in Fury of the Gods, he comes out as gay to the family and they all say that they already knew and that they loved him and that scene was very heartwarming and it still makes me smile. Especially with how wishy-washy a lot of films - especially superhero films - are when it comes to confirmed lgbt characters. Anyone remember how Marvel refused to confirm Valkyrie as bisexual in the third Thor movie? (I know there was a gay man in Eternals but I didn’t watch that movie sooo…) I’m just glad Pedro was able to flat out say, “I’m gay” to his whole family and the audience, leaving no room for misinterpretation or denial. Anyway, I don’t really have a whole lot more to say. I like the movie but I didn’t really like the movie, you know? This didn’t end up being much of a review but whatever. Oh wait! I did want to mention that Wonder Woman showed up! And not just as a headless cameo like Superman at the end of the first Shazam. (although there was a dream scene where Billy goes on a date with Wonder Woman but it never shows her face) Anyway, at the end of Fury of the Gods, Gal Gadot herself shows up and sort of brings Billy back from the dead. It was nice to see her again but I have to wonder how this might play into the new DCU that James Gunn is planning. Is Shazam - is this particular version of Shazam - going to be in Gunn’s DCU in the future?? I don’t know. I know the actor for older Billy, Zachry Levi, said that it would most likely depend on how well Fury of the Gods does at the box office so… unfortunately it doesn’t seem likely that we’ll see him again actually.