#I just bet there's an incorrect quote like this already

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#133 Still tired y'all-

Loki: So... you like cats? Tired!Y/n*Is playing with the local cat's beans...the source of your only happiness* Yeah... Loki*tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Y/n finally snaps and commits murder?~ Thor: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to them

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tired!Y/n: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I- I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude-

Odin:...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki: Well, remember when Y/n made a romantic dinner for me?~ Brunhilde: Loki, they microwaved you a pizza-

Part 2 of:

[wangxian2bunnies]

Wei Wuxian: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Lan Zhan: I wake up at Mao time

Wei Wuxian:

Wei Wuxian: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[incorrectquotesideas-deactivated]

Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.

Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?

Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.

Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.

[bwat5-blog]

I Bet She Hates Puppies Too: Inside Vi's Favorite Hobby Of Kid Punching

**SPOILERS FOR ALL OF ARCANE**

"Vi's only happy when she's hitting little girls"

"Vi doesn't care about Isha"

"Vi just blew past isha's death to try and sign Jinx up to be an Enforcer"

You can tell the truth.. If you are one of the people who has said something like this you did it to make the crazy Tumblr blogger angry didn't you? That really is the only logical explanation.

My friends as we all continue to discuss, and debate, and delve into this amazing show things are slowing down naturally. Even I am not writing as often (at least terms of full length deep-dives and such) having mostly explored what I can think of for the moment. But these sorts of opinions continue to persist, and I just... I have discussed this topic in one way or another across so many different documents I am running out of nice ways to say it.

To the people out there insisting Violet is some sort of dangerous psychotic who gets off on punching children. You. Are. Wrong. It's really quite that simple. This is not a top for debate, or nuance. It is a question of correct versus incorrect. And you have fallen on the wrong side. To quote another brilliant misanthrope like the one above, we must be careful not to "twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes).

Now, I could do a deep, highly detailed, in-depth exploration of each moment of her life to combat these points. But I have already have. So instead, We are going to focus on three moments. When she hit Powder, when she hit Isha, and her conversation after Isha's death. So! Let us once again step off the dock and sink into the murky depths of ignorance, for when we surface, we will have once more defended the truth of this story and it's characters from those whose time would be much better spent in quiet study, in hopes that they too may one day learn to tie their own shoes.

When She Hit Powder:

Vi: Fifteen Years Old

Powder: Eleven Years Old

Okay. If you are here you know this story as well as I do by know. But just a quick refresher. This heartbreaking scene plays out after the rescue of Vander has gone terribly wrong, due to Powder's well intentioned but poorly thought out Monkey Bomb. A distraught and angry Vi, upon realizing that Powder is saying she is the one who caused the explosion, strikes Powder, calls her a jinx roughly grabbing her face, and leaves her sobbing, after growing horrified at her actions. Vi tries to return upon seeing Silco standing over her sister but is kidnapped by Marcus, the Sheriff of Piltover, and wrongfully imprisoned, leaving her little sister all alone.

*NOW ENJOY A QUICK AND NOT AT ALL HORRIFYING REMINDER OF WHAT THIS FIFTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD EXPERIENCED LEADING UP TO THIS*

Witnessed death of birth parents

Six years growing up in Undercity, dangerous and unpredictable environment protecting the other kids when not with Vander.

Tries to turn herself in to Enforcers, only for Vander to take her place.

Sees Grayson and Benzo killed.

Survives fight against 10+ armed Silco associates.

Beaten and thrown by Shimmer-mutated Deckard

Pinned under massive metal door.

Witnesses violent death of Mylo.

Witnesses violent death of Claggor.

Witnesses violent death of Vander.

Now, considering all of that, add in the fact that they were about to get Vander out, and that Vi had instructed Powder to stay behind and was completely correct in doing so. What we have here is a terrified, traumatized, enraged and grieving CHILD.

I am not justifying or encouraging that she hit Powder. She was wrong to do so. But she was completely and totally overwhelmed. And if you actually watch the show... yes you have to watch, I'm sorry I know I'm asking a lot.. you can see that she is clearly aware of that.

SEEING HER SISTERS BLOOD, REALIZING WHAT SHE DID

AND HERE! WE HAVE A LITERAL FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL BEING KIDNAPPED BY THE MOST POWERFUL LAW ENFORCEMENT FIGURE IN THE TWIN CITIES AS SHE TRIES TO GET BACK TO POWDER.

Yep. I see it now. I see the error of my ways. She is truly a remorseless beast. I doff my cap to you Vi haters, you win...

When She Hit Isha:

So, this is obviously much later in the show during act 2 of season 2. Vi is twenty-three. She, Jinx and Isha are traipsing through the mines in search of Vander. After trading some verbal jabs, the sisters "fight" and I do use that term loosely. Isha, adorable little gremlin that she is, jumps in to save Jinx and bites Vi resorting in her catching a whack that sends her flying. My my, the amount of insanely dramatic fanfiction moments this spawned alone. "I Did it again! I'm such a monster!" (all while Jinx rides upon a glorious high horse naturally... in all honesty I'm not coming for you fan-fic writers yall are way more creative than I will ever be and I read your stuff almost everyday). And that's not even addressing the analysis posts and so on that have used this moment to demonize Vi as well. Well.... first let's get the simplest reason your wrong out of the way:

Ah I see it now. She threw her body between the small child she doesn't care about and the massive wolf monster... because she.. she's hoping the explosion of gore when the monster turns her into pink mist will traumatize Isha even more before she dies! Now I get it!

But that aside, Isha gets hit right about the 14:04 mark. And we get the following shot about 2-3 seconds later.

Note the distinct lack of Vi continuing to try and punch Jinx or literally anything else she has been accused of. Jinx notices first as she should given she has a much deeper connection to Isha than Vi does. But they both stop at the same moment and the fight is over while Jinx tends to Isha.

Also, *NOT* that it is a justification, but getting bit hurts. A lot. And it isn't a justification but we need to look at where Isha bit Vi:

Anyone wanna take any guesses on if the person who has been undercity pit-fighting for months with zero attempt at self cares' hands and forearms hurt like hell?

And for my final point for this one. Please do not yell at me, I cried during 2x06 like everyone else. But yall... Isha is a fucking wild child:

She's courageous, and loves Jinx, and is hilarious and was an awesome character. But COME ON. She throws herself into every scrap she can get her hands on. Almost like not dealing with that before it was too late cost everything...

Vi's Conversation With Jinx:

"You're never gonna give up on me.. are you.. You don't have to worry about me anymore. You don't need to feel guilty about being happy. You deserve to be with her"

Well, first and foremost this conversation where "All Vi cares about is trying to get Jinx to be an Enforcer" is the same one where this conversation takes place. Strange.. almost seems like Jinx is having a profound moment of recognizing how much Vi loves her and giving Vi permission she will never be able to give herself to prioritize her own happiness... What an odd thing to do for a boot-licking monster... Eh must just be me who doesn't get it.

So what does Vi say in her pitch to bring Jinx to the darkside? I'm glad you asked:

"Jinx.. I swiped these from the guard station. If you come, help use all that explosive potential of yours for good, maybe we could rewrite your story, like you did with Zaun"... THE HORROR!

The unfortunate choice of the word explosive aside. What is Vi actually asking? She is asking for her sister to stand by her side in the battle for HUMANITY. Not Piltover. Not Caitlyn. Not the Enforcers. HUMANITY. She believes this is a way Jinx can gain her freedom and peace to live afterwards. Because let's not forget folks, At the moment, Vi has no idea Caitlyn has essentially already told Jinx she is tired of hating her. And she certainly has no idea of Caitlyn's plan to allow for Jinx's release if Vi chooses. Vi is down here risking everything to grant her sister freedom, in hopes that they can turn it all around and be together. And another important part of this: "Like you did with Zaun". We need to think about that for a moment.

This is kind of a strange moment in Blisters and Bedrock between them, and understandably so. Jinx gives a sort of casual smirk/shrug when Vi sees it and later flouts her status as a hero, while Vi seems almost angry or jealous. Vi is seeing her little sister who was raised by the man who killed Vander, who became that man's beloved daughter and helped him flood the undercity with Shimmer, who became a feared terrorist bringing Piltover's wrath down upon the Undercity, up on the wall with Vander's face. The colored smoke of her attack on Piltover around her which Vander would never have supported. And Vi is nowhere to be seen. it has to feel like a MASSIVE slap in the face.

But now Vi is seeing what really matters in all of that. Regardless of the past, what her sister has become is a symbol of hope for their people. She has reinvented herself and is someone who gives the Undercity hope of a better tomorrow. And even with all that has happened between them. VI STILL BELIEVES JINX CAN DO THAT IN PILTOVER. If you can't see the significance of that, put down the spoonful of glue and call for an adult. You don't belong here.

And regarding Isha, straight up it's on the writers that she is not mentioned outright if that's what you need. But I want to point out a few things:

Jinx's obvious, enormous, crushing, impossible to miss depression and guilt

Vi is quite clearly very upset over everything that has happened and is visibly tearing up while hugging Jinx

Jinx's clear tribute to her in battle:

Conclusion:

To those of you who continue to engage in intelligent and good-faith debate and discussion, I look forward to doing so right alongside you in honor of this incredible show. As always, keep standing up for stories that matter, for this is the way they live on long after their time has passed.

[oshawottarchive]

[Pt 1] [Pt 2] [Pt 3] [Pt 4] [Pt 5] [Pt 6]

More incorrect quotes yippee!

————

Bdubs: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Tango: *crouches down*

Etho: *kneels down*

Skizz: *sits on the floor*

Bdubs:

Bdubs: I hate all of you

————

Skizz: What are you getting Etho for the holidays?

Bdubs: I don’t know. It’s kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could’ve ever wanted when they married you. So I’m not sure yet

Tango: I’m getting Etho a divorce lawyer

————

Impulse: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Zedaph: Strong

Tango: Weak

Skizz: An idiot

————

Xisuma: Don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one

Keralis: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them

————

Mumbo: Good morning

Pearl: Good morning

Bdubs: Good morning

Scar: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit

Joel: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

————

Skizz: How did you even get in here?

Tango: BigB’s window! Or as I like to call it; “Tango’s door”!

BigB: I’m closing the window

————

Tango: Hey guys, I found a 100 dollar bill!

Tango: *looks around* . . .Should I keep it?

Skizz: Tango, just do the right thing

BigB: And put it in your bag

Skizz: NO—

————

Scar: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart

Grian: But I’m a kleptomaniac, so that doesn’t mean anything

————

Scott: Breaking news, Jimmy has disappointed us yet again

————

Ren: I’m cold

BigB: Here, take my hoodie

*meanwhile*

Pearl: I’m cold

Scott: Well damn, I can’t control the weather, now can I?

————

Martyn: Pearl just said “I have an appetite for destruction” and then reached down and untied my shoe

————

False: Hey do we have any more orange juice?

Joel: *pours the rest of the orange juice into his cup*

Joel: No

————

Joel: I’m not like other girls. I’m way, way worse

————

*at the zoo*

Scar: What are they in for?

Grian: Scar, this isn’t prison

Scar: So they can leave?

Grian: No-

Scar: *points at an armadillo* I bet that one murdered someone

————

Cleo: What the hell kind of tea is this?

Scar: I boiled gatorade

————

Scar: Okay, two person huddle

Grian: You can’t huddle with two people. This is just a hug

————

Etho: Please Xisuma, I don’t speak meme! I don’t know what a “yeet” is!

————

xB: Why do you keep a diary?

Joe: To keep secrets from my computer

————

Xisuma: I am an expert at identifying birds

Joe: Okay, what about those ones over there?

Xisuma: Yup, they’re all birds

————

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

Hey, it's me, the intrusive thought of using an incorrect quotes generator, winning, again

Let's throw Cassandra and the LORD OF PUDDLES (Mel) into the mix

Random npc: What do you want?

Mel: The souls of the innocent

Cassandra: A bagel!

Mel: No!

Cassandra: Two bagels

---

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Astyanax : Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Mel.

Odysseus : For the record, I already found them.

Cassandra : And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Odysseus : They stabbed me!

Astyanax : I'm surprised they waited this long, baba. We've all had the urge, remember Perimedes?

Cassandra, muttering to herself: who's Perimedes?

---

Cassandra: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Mel, LORD OF PUDDLES: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

Odysseus : Astyanax bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he's WRONG.

Mel: ...and to make sure this idiot doesn't die, of course.

Casandra, nodding: of course.

---

Mel: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?

Odysseus : Anchovies and pineapple.

Astyanax : I like beets!

Cassandra: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?

Mel: I’m disowning all of you.

---

Astyanax: What the hell was that?

Odysseus: *picks up a flashlight* Only one way to find out!

Cassandra : Wait a minute! You don’t go TOWARDS the spooky scary banging!

Mel: Yes we do, Cassandra . We always do.

Astyanax: At this point I would be surprised if we don't

---

Cassandra : Good. Thanks, dad.

Astyanax : You just called Odysseus “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Cassandra : What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Odysseus : Do you see me as a father figure, Cassandra ?

Cassandra : No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Mel: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Astyanax: yeah Cassandra, hold your horses!

Odysseus: Again with the horse???

---

Mel: Where’s my chair?

Cassandra: Astyanax broke it over Odysseus ’s back while they were wrestling.

Odysseus : Correction, Astyanax was wrestling. I was eating soup.

Mel: that's rough, buddy

---

Telemachus: You know, my father gives my mother flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Mel: Okay.

*Later*

Mel: *gives Penelope flowers*

Penelope: ???

Mel: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

Astyanax, eating popcorn: this is the funniest shit I've seen in a while

---

Cassandra : Do you love Telemachus?

Mel: Yeah, I do.

Cassandra : Astyanax! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Astyanax, mouth full of olives, enjoying the view: We all love Telemachus . You should've asked if they were IN love with him.

Mel: I thought that was implied.

Telemachus: ...

Cassandra : ...

Mel, looking straight at Astyanax: Congrats Cassandra , you just won 100 bucks.

---

Odysseus: Why is Mel crying on the floor?

Astyanax : They're drunk.

Odysseus: And?

Astyanax: They saw a picture of Telemachus's spouse.

Odysseus: But they're Telemachus's spouse.

Astyanax : I know. Hey father, Eurylochus was right.

Odysseus: How so?

Astyanax: You DO attract weird people.

Odysseus: ...

---

Astyanax: Why are your tongues purple?

Mel: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Telemachus: I had a red one.

Cassandra: oh.

Odysseus:

Cassandra: OH.

Astyanax :

Astyanax : You drank eachothers slushies?

Odysseus: Poseidon, Polyphemus, Circe, the Underworld, Scylla, Charybdis, the suitors...and I'm NOT ready to have this conversation.

---

Telemachus : That's ridiculous, Mel doesn't have a crush on me.

Astyanax : Yes they do.

Cassandra: Yes they do.

Odysseus: Yes they do.

Mel: Yes I do.

---

Astyanax: Fight me!

Telemachus: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Odysseus : Why is Telemachus crying?

Cassandra: Astyanax kicked him really hard on the ankle.

Mel: ...

---

Odysseus I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Cassandra: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Astyanax: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mel : I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Telemachus : I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

---

Penelope: Are we really going to let Odysseus keep Mel?

Telemachus: We kept Astyanax.

---

Mel: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Odysseus, Telemachus, Astyanax , and Cassandra: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

---

Astyanax: What does “take out” mean?

Mel: Food.

Telemcahus: Dating.

Cassandra: Murder.

Odysseus : It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

---

Tekemachus: How would you like your pancakes?

Mel: Plain.

Cassandra: With sprinkles!

Astyanax : Chocolate chips.

Odysseus : Potatoes.

*Telemachus, Cassandra, and Astyanax look at Odysseus *

Odysseus : What? They're good.

Cassandra, deadpanning: *gasps* monster

Astyanax: oh no here it comes...

Odysseus: I am the Monster rawr rawr rawr

---

Mel: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Telemachus: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Astyanax : Mel. Answer the question, Mel.

Mel: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Mel: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Telemachus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Astyanax : Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Telemachus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Astyanax : It takes less than a minute.

Telemachus: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Astyanax : How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Telemachus: Like seven minutes??

Odysseus : Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Astyanax : Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Odysseus ? Your stove is enchanted!

Mel: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Cassandra: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

---

Odysseus : You know what?

Odysseus : When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.

*Telemachus, Mel and Cassandra continue screaming about mold water*

Odysseus : Not the other way around.

Astyanax : I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

---

Odysseus : You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Telemachus: Several traffic violations.

Cassandra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Mel: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Astyanax : Also, that’s not our car.

---

Odysseus: You three, explain right now!

Cassandra: It was Astyanax .

Telemachus: It was Astyanax .

Mel: It was Astyanax .

Astyanax :

Astyanax : …fuck.

---

Astyanax : How do you connect with a fictional character?

Odysseus : What?

Cassandra: What?

Mel: What?

Telemachus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

---

Cassandra: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Mel : ....

Astyanax : .....

Telemachus: ......

Odysseus: ..Who?

Cassandra: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Odysseus*

---

Cassandra: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Telemachus : Maybe a bit tipsy?

Astyanax: Drunk.

Mel: Wasted.

Odysseus: Dead.

---

Cassandra: So when are we gonna tell thim?

Mel: Just give him a minute.

Astyanax: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

---

Astyanax : Mel doesn’t look very happy.

Cassandra: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Astyanax: Hey! That's not nice!

Cassandra: *shrugs* neither are them

---

Odysseus: What are you two arguing about this time?

Telemachus: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Astyanax : Cry me a table, Telemachus.

---

Cassandra: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Astyanax : Can't relate.

Mel: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

---

Telemachus : You wanna fight?! You got one!

Astyanax : Okay! *raises fists*

*Mel runs in, scoops Astyanax up in their arms, and runs away carrying them*

Telemachus :

Telemachus : What?

---

Telemachus : Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Odysseus: Damn, if people did that to each other, Astyanax would've killed me years ago.

Astyanax, nonchalant: there's still time

---

Telemachus : *lifting weights*

Mel: Wow… he's so intense!

Astyanax : I wonder what drives him.

Telemachus, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

---

Telemachus: You're pathetic!

Astyanax : You're pathetic-er!

Mel : You're both losers.

---

Telemachus : Would you take a bullet for me?

Mel: ...yes?

*Astyanax angrily burst into the room*

Telemachus : *running away* Great, thanks!

---

Cassandra & Telemachus : *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Cassandra: We need an adult!

Telemachus : Cassandra, you are an adult!

Cassandra: We need an adultier adult! Get Mel!

Telemachus: MEL????

Cassandra: They have water powers!!

Telemachus: Right!

---

Mel: What did you two do?

Telemachus :

Cassandra:

Mel: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to Odysseus and Penelope again or not.

Astyanax, having the time of his life: Again???

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Good Omens incorrect quotes:

Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

~

Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.

Crowley: You’re right.

Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*

Crowley: Violence is the question.

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Aziraphale, running after them: NO-

~

Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?

Crowley: I only take cash or credit.

~

Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Crowley: What did you do?

Aziraphale: Nobody died.

Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

~

Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Crowley: Killed without hesitation.

Aziraphale: No.

~

*how season 3 should start*

Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Crowley: You're right.

Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out

Gabriel: great, it’s a date!

Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.

Gabriel: See you at five!

~

Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

~

Beelzebub: I made tea.

Crowley: I don’t want tea.

Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Crowley: Then why are you telling me?

Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.

Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Aziraphale: This is bothering me.

Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

~

Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: fsh

~

Crowley: God, give me patience.

Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

~

Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.

~

Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?

Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~

Muriel: Why are you on the floor?

Crowley: I'm depressed.

Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?

Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Crowley: The cow???

Muriel: What?

Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?

~

Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?

Crowley: … No.

Muriel: I do!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

Muriel: I’m sad!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

~

Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.

Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.

Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??

Crowley: Angel?

Aziraphale: Yes, dear?

Crowley:

Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~

Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t

~

Aziraphale: We need a distraction.

Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Muriel, whispering: My time has come

~

Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~

Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.

Aziraphale: Try again.

Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.

~

Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Crowley: I'm a knife.

Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

~

Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?

Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.

Aziraphale: Oh, okay.

Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?

~

Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel

Crowley: Fine.

Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~

Crowley: Hey angel,

Aziraphale: Yes?

Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?

~

Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!

Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!

Crowley: I’m sorry.

Crowley: ... would you like a knife?

~

Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?

Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

~

Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.

Muriel: That's gre-

Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

~

Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost

~

Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?

Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.

~

Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.

Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?

Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.

Muriel: Yes!!!

Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.

Crowley: Obviously.

~

Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?

[iliveinyourceiling65]

The inheritance games incorrect quotes

Grayson: This is such a bad idea. Jameson: Then why are you coming along? Grayson: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Avery: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Jameson: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m nice and Grayson isn’t

Jameson, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him  Grayson: You did WHAT–  Xander : William Snakepeare

Avery: I prevented a murder today. Alisa: Really? How’d you do that? Avery: self control.

Avery: Fuck. Libby: We've got to work on your cursing. Avery: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Avery, talking to Jameson on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Jameson: You bet! Avery: At what temperature? Jameson: 535. Avery: That's the clock. Jameson: Avery: Jameson: 536.

Jameson: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

Nash, about Avery: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the house. Jameson : Are we stealing them? Xander: New or used? Nash: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Jameson: Must be hard not being able to laugh Grayson: I do have a sense of humor you know Jameson: I’ve never heard you laugh before Grayson: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Thea: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Avery: So what’s for dinner?  Libby, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Grayson: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

[bloedewir]

Incorrect Dragon Age: The Veilguard quote dialogue

Solavellan tw

I just can't get this stuff off my mind. It's popping up no matter of my own will.

INT. Lighthouse

Rook: Stop. Murmuring. Stop it. It's pretty annoying.

Solas: I most certainly do not-

Rook: You are. Every bloody time you see her. Freak.

Solas: ..I apologize then. Apparently it is not that easy to separate my thoughts from yours since we were bound, and your mind can barely handle a much simpler tasks.

Rook: Is that an insult? I can swear, it's an insult.

Solas: Maybe my presence can actually have a beneficial effect on such an ordinary mind as yours after all.

Rook: Uh-huh.. better try to improve your social skills and stop being an ass, and talk to your ex. Not that difficult.

Solas: I want to hear neither your advices nor your opinion on that matter.

Rook: You're just scared she wouldn't kneel before Your Wolfy Majesty now, is that so? Hilarious.

Solas: It is not-

Rook: I can ask. That would be fun, I bet.

Solas: Don't, Rook. I'm serious.

Rook: Pfft. Hey, Inquisitor.. hey, have a minute? Can you answer just a tiny question, huh?

Inquisitor: I.. do have time, yes. Fine, ask away.

Rook: I've been thinking..

Inquisitor: Such a promising beginning. And, how is your luck with "thinking"?

Rook: Ugh. Fine, no prelude then. Have you already figured you and your ex were doomed from the start? No happy ending for you, no wedding bells, no half-blood kids.. you do know that, right?

Solas: Such a delicate approach...

Inquisitor: Hm.

Rook: Not an answer.

Inquisitor: The answer is: I don't know what a sick game you two play in your minds and I don't know what makes both of you think I'm willing to join but I do know that if you'll ever talk to me like that again, I'll choke you by my own hand and he will stay trapped in his beloved Fade forever.

Rook: ...okay then. Good talk.

Solas: Pleased, I presume?

Rook: Kind of. That is an answer.

Rook: Oh, come one, it's not that hard. Use your brains. She's so mad about simple question because it still burns. Love and stuff.

Solas: Let me summarize: you intentionally manipulated the painful feelings of one of your trusted allies just to win the imaginary argument I had no intention to participate in?

Rook: I- No, not exactly.

Solas: Hm. And they call me a monster. What will they call you when this is over, I wonder.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.6 because somehow I'm the most productive in the middle of the night (the generator)

Tom: Why is there blood everywhere?

Luke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Tom: You stabbed someone?! Luke: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife. AJ: Hey, what are you reading? Sam: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. AJ: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Tom: So it’s just a Notebook? Sam: It’s just a Notebook. Tom: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Luke: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Tom: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Luke: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Luke, right after Tom leaves the room: I miss him already. Luke: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead! Luke: You don't think I can fight because of my height! Sam: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Tom can fight in that dress either. Tom: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride. Tom: Why are you late? Sam: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. Tom: Overslept? Sam: Overslept. Tom: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! AJ: It's kind of complicated, but Sam and Luke- Tom: Got it. Forget I asked. Sam: Luke is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Tom: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!

AJ: What's the signal when something goes wrong? Sam: We yell, "oh shit." Tom: ...That'll work. Luke: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter "A"! Tom: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon. AJ: Fuck you. Sam: I’m totally useless. Tom: You’re not totally useless. Tom: You can be used as a bad example. AJ: When do you usually go to sleep? Luke: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods. Tom: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Luke: No… not really. Tom: Are you going to do something about it? Luke: Hm… nah. Tom: Luke learned how to fold origami penguins from Sam the other day. I told him, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here." And the next day he put them in the fridge. Sam: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth. Sam, barging in: Syphilis! AJ: Sam: AJ: Pardon? Luke, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Tom: ... Tom: What’s in the box? Luke: What woul- Tom: Luke, what’s in the box? Luke: I think you know. Sam: Today at 7 am, Tom poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Luke: I watched Tom brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. AJ: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[watarfallar]

Have Some Celebratory Incorrect Quotes- HERE'S TO WILD LIFE!

Joel: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener. Etho: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with them. Lizzie: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night. Scott: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other. Gem: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending. Impulse: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

Pearl: My mom is calling… hi mom. Jimmy: Come on guys, stop. They’re trying to talk to their mom. Scar: *loud fake sexual noises* Mumbo: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! Grian: *is asleep* Ren: *gets really close to the phone* Tell her I said hi.

Impulse: So, Skizz is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Impulse: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Grian: I don't know about that...I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Scott: Take this more seriously! Skizz was clearly taken in their sleep! Lizzie: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Cleo: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting...? *Skizz arrives* Skizz: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Grian, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Grian: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Impulse: ...I did. I broke it. Grian: No. No you didn't. Cleo? Cleo: Don't look at me. Look at Etho. Etho: What?! I didn't break it. Cleo: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Etho: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Cleo: Suspicious. Etho: No, it's not! Bdubs: If it matters, probably not, but BigB was the last one to use it. BigB: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Bdubs: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? BigB: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Bdubs! Impulse: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Grian. Grian: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Bdubs: Grian... Cleo's been awfully quiet. Cleo: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Grian, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Grian: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Grian: Grian: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Joel: Christmas lights? Pearl: Check. Scott: Thermos of hot cocoa? Pearl: Check. Cleo: Santa suits? Pearl: Check. Grian: Shovel? Pearl: Check. Martyn: Alibi and bail money? Pearl: Check- wait, WHAT?!

Martyn: Alright, who’s hogging the Netflix account? I’ve been locked out all week! Scott: Sucks to suck! I’m already on the 8th season of Friends! Bdubs: Not me. Martyn: Don’t lie. I know it’s not Scar or Skizz. Bdubs: It’s not me, really! Martyn: … Bdubs: …But it might be Joel… Martyn: You gave Joel access to our Netflix account!?!? Bdubs: They wanted to watch Orange is the New Black! Martyn: I’m going to kill you.

Cleo: I’m the smartest person in my friend group. Skizz: You hang out with BigB, Jimmy, Etho, and Impulse. Skizz: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Gem: Dumbest scar stories, go! Martyn: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Etho: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Tango: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. BigB: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. Bdubs: I have emotional scars.

Scar: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Bdubs: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Martyn: *drinks straight from the tap* Skizz: *dehydrates* Ren: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Pearl: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

!SUGGESTIVENESS AHEAD!

Grian: Make her pussy wet not her eyes. Scott: Make his dick hard not his life. Bdubs: Break her bed not her heart. Scar: Play with her boobs not her feelings. Mumbo: Get on his dick not his nerves. Etho: Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

!SUGGESTIVENESS OVER!

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years* Mumbo: So what have you been up to recently? BigB: Leading a revolution with Etho. Mumbo: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob. BigB: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome! Mumbo: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Bdubs? BigB: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Joel? Mumbo: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Lizzie? BigB: Cult leader. Mumbo: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Joel, to the Squad: I’d die for you. Jimmy: Then perish. Scar: You will. Skizz: Please don’t. Impulse: Cool. Scott: I’d die for you first.

Jimmy: You're a lying piece of shit! Scott: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Impulse: I'm leaving and I'm taking Ren with me! Scar, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Mumbo: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Pearl: Schrödinger's boys. Grian: FUCK! Lizzie: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Etho: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Etho: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Mumbo: ... Pearl: ... Grian: ... Lizzie: ... Etho: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Gem: What do you guys do when you're stressed? Cleo: Try and calm myself down! Tango: Sleep. Martyn: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out. Scar: I don't.

+ bonus hermitcraft quote! (Dasuma and his brainless children)

Xisuma: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Pearl: Several traffic violations. Scar: Three counts of resisting arrest. Jimmy: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Grian: Also, that’s not our car.

[octopiys]

Hi again friend! I’m glad you’re liking my quotes. I have two this time!

“Depression is kicking my ass more than my mother ever could”

“You don’t know true terror till you almost send your parent gay porn”

If you ever get bored of my quotes don’t hesitate to say so, I don’t want to bother you. Have a good time zone friend!

🪶

No worries at all anon I love the quotes :D hope you're having an awesome timezone!

-

Incorrect CoD as Quotes(OR things my friends have said)

-

Soap, tearing into the room: GAZ-

Gaz: wh? Hello? What happened to knocking?

Soap: doesn't matter, hide me!

Gaz: oh fuck no, I'm not doing that again, you know how terrifying Ghost was when he-

Soap: you don't know true terror until you almost send your captain gay porn, hide me!

Gaz:

Gaz: you almost WHAT

-

Los Vaqueros and TF-141 after celebrating a successful mission :

Alejandro: you know, Ghost....

Ghost:

Alejandro: the first time I met you, I thought you were gay

Rodolfo: was.... was that an unspoken thing?

Gaz: we haven't talked about that?

Soap: YOU ARE????

-

Nikolai: don't freak out, it's okay, he already saw my boobs on the bus!

-

Price: ohhh Simon I forgot how good of a bitch you could be-

-

Roach: don't worry guys, the guy of all time has arrived!!

-

Price, playing minecraft, speaking to villagers: can you have babies so I can kidnap them?

Laswell: John what the f-

-

Alejandro, watching the 141 "train": what are they... even doing?

Rodolfo: they're like prehistoric planet.

Alejandro:

Rodolfo: we don't know much about them.

-

Soap: so my senior prank was filling up a staircase with balloons.

Soap: and one girl opened the doors and let all of them out by walking through it.

Soap: so next year I think we should do it again

Soap: but with lasers.

-

König: I made a bet with God at aquatica!

Roach: ???

König: he said no.

-

Graves: in God we trust. Hoo rah.

Alejandro: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE-

-

Alex: I made a dick joke and Ghost just stared at me.

Alex: I'm... not actually sure what to do now.

-

Soap: well you know what they say, when life gets rough-

Ghost: depression is kicking my ass more than my father ever could.

Soap:

Soap: okay, I feel like ye should really see someone for that

-

Gaz: is he white? Cus if he is, then we don't have that in common.

-

Rodolfo: I'm pretty sure that kid just called you a bitch in four different languages.

Valeria:

-

Price: nothing says team bonding like getting secondhand high!

Laswell: JOHN

Price: IT WASNT MY FAULT-

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

.

.

The long-awaited, the sequel of a sequel, ✨ Mairuma Incorrect Quotes ✨Get ready..*finger guns* to be disappointed!

.

.

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #1

Purson: Lied? Ah hell no he's definitely not straight.

Camui: As much as I agree he doesn't really look like a demon who only has one gender attraction however, he never really shown any other type of gender other than the wonderful females.

Purson: Fine. Bet.

Moments later

Purson pointing in a random direction: Lied! Look it's Opera-sensei being shirtless!

Lied immediately whips his head around: Where?!

Camui:

( Yes, how did Lied-kun realize he isn't only bisexual? Opera. No need I say more.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

Kerori, literally not getting any sleep because of her akudol career: My fucking mixed complex is so weird and a pain in the ass too, like I could literally be bawling my eyes out on the floor and writing depressing inferiority lyrics, and the next second I could be boasting about my cuteness being as superior as Delkila.

Agares, just trying to get some sleep because it's fucking 3 AM but not wanting to be a prick to his best friend finally opening up: Uh-huh.

Kerori, unconciously pining over a girl she often rejects: Also Gyari, she is such an unbelievable asshole. Like she says she wants to give me some of her company's Vill because she said 'you should rest, Kerori. My beautiful gem must be at her very best for me to be happy making you mine.' like fuck you, that shit you just said made my brain turn into mush and now I can't stop thinking about it you rockhead bastard.

Agares, covering his ears with his pillow not wanting to hear the hopeless pining for the hundredth time: Uh-huh.

( 💫 Agares and Kerori, the tsundere duo because it's literally my drug 💫 )

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

Asmodeus, speaking to himself : Listen here, Alice. You don't want to have a stain on your honored position as Iruma-sama's soulmate. So you shall NOT allow your insufferable feelings get the better of you.

Iruma, does something Iruma-like:

Asmodeus, being incredibly in love: Fuck.

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #4

Ronove: You're just like me!

Zeze: Oh I can see~

Ronove and Zeze singing together dramatically: We take responsibilties~

Vine, mumbling in a corner about shiny people being way too sparkling: Oh derkila, TWO of these types now?

The rest of the student council except Ameri, realizing that they're gonna have another version of Ronove: Aw fuck.

( Student council shenanigans because I can.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #5

Misfit Class: We finally have a plan.

Balam: As long as it doesn't get you illegally in trouble

Misfit Class:

Balam:

Lied: FUCK! We planned this shit for two hours already!

.

.

.

So yeah that's all. I decided to be nice and give them a break on the dark humor and trauma thing. Don't expect this to be your usual. This is one-in a life time sorta thing. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my post and have a good day or night guys, gals and non-binary pals!

[devilsrecreation]

Even more Outlander Incorrect Quotes (feat oc’s and the main cast)

Jasiri: She was poetry, but he couldn't read

Janja: His name was Jared hes nineteen

Kiburi: When his parents built a very strange machine

Reirei: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

The skinks: aaaay macarena

Mzingo: Horrible job everyone

Kion: Bunga has no survival or self-preservation instincts. I think he was born without them.

Beshte: That can’t be true-

Kion: Watch this: Hey Bunga! Race you down!

Bunga: *jumps off of Pride Rock*

Some Villain: We have your son.

Reirei: What? All my kids are right here

Villain: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off his sandwich?

Reirei: Oh my god you have Goigoi

Reirei: If you want to know what females want, talk to a female

Cheezi: Oh yeah! Good idea!

Chungu: But where can we find one?

Reirei: I’M A FEMALE. I’M REFINED AND ELEGANT LIKE A DELICATE FLOWER, YOU IDIOTS!

Janja: I’m an idiot

Reirei:

Kiburi:

Mzingo:

Ushari:

Janja:

Kiburi: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Janja: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one! 
Chungu: Tubular AF! 
Cheezi: Mood to the max! 
Nne, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it. 
Tano, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

Goigoi: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Chungu: Several traffic violations.
Cheezi: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Tamka: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Nduli: Also, that’s not our car.

Kenge: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Njano: ... Your what?
Kenge: My friends.
Kifo: Is he saying “friends”?
Sumu: I think they're being sarcastic.
Shupavu: No, no, no, this is delirium, he’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Kenge! All of your friends are right here.
Kenge: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Kiburi, trying to convince Kenge to hang with the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really strong.
Nduli: And loud!
Tamka: And grumpy!
Neema: [And oblivious to reality!]
Kenge:

Chungu: Aibu doesn’t have a crush on me!

Janja: Yeah, she does

Cheezi: Yeah, she does!

Kifo: Yes, she does

Aibu: Yes I do

The squad is trying to con some random guy
Ushari: Shupavu, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Shupavu: We need money!
Ushari: You're scamming him?
Shupavu: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Ushari: What?! No way!
Shupavu: Why not? We already stole Njano!
Njano: Hey guys
Ushari: No, we didn't. Njano can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!
Njano: I wanna steal

Reirei: Can one of you pass the salt?

Janja: *throws Ushari across the table*

Tamka and Nduli are sitting in jail

Tamka: Duh, who do you wanna call?

Nduli: I’d call Kiburi, but I’d feel safer in jail

Janja: *to Jasiri* Do you wanna stay for dinner?

Shenzi: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

Janja/Njano: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night

Mzingo/Ushari: You were flirting with Jasiri/Shupavu

Janja/Njano: So what, she’s my girlfriend!

Mzingo/Ushari: You asked her if she was single and then cried when she said no

Ushari: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me 
Janja: Okay, but in my defense, the skinks bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. 
Ushari: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Jasiri: I told Janja his ears flush when he lies

Madoa: Why?
Jasiri: Look.
Jasiri: *gesturing to herself and the leaders* Hey Janja! Do you love us?
Janja, covering their ears: No.
Madoa:

Sumu: Kenge and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us 
Ushari: *Sighing* What did Kenge do? 
Sumu: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... 
Kenge: Who wants a steering wheel?

Ucheshi: Makuu and I don’t use pet names

Kiburi: Oh yeah? Then what do bees make?

Ucheshi: Honey?

Makuu: Yes?

Ucheshi:

Kiburi: Don’t lie to me ever again

[thearoaceshark]

Gosho Girls Incorrect Quotes, Part 2

@quite-a-character I'm BACK!! I hope u like it

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: I already told you it's not like that!

Sonoko: Well one of us is wrong, AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE ME!!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Aoko, speaking of Akako: Help! I lost my friend, have you seen her?!!

X: How does she look?

Aoko: Beautiful!

Akako, behind her holding two ice creams: *dying of cuteness*

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ran: The best revenge is to ignore them.

Sonoko: Or frame them for a crime.

Akako: Or curse them.

Ran: NO–

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: We have to go out!

Sera: I'm pansexual!

Haibara: That's not what I meant but I support you!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Akako, telling them how she met Kaito: he rejected me, and in that moment I understood how ugly people felt.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Aoko: You have no idea what I'm capable of.

Sera: Not to offend you, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sonoko: If I'm your favorite, raise your hand.

Ran: What if you're not my favorite?

Sonoko: Raise your standards.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ayumi: What happens if we stop being friends?

Haibara: The day we stop being friends will be because we will be (platonically) married and united for the rest of the eternity.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Aoko: Akako has a... Unique way of showing her love.

Kazuha: Look. Akako!

Akako: ??

Ran: We love you.

Akako, smiling: I would kill and curse the world for you.

All: ...

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sera: What's the straightest thing you've ever done?

Akako: *sighs heavily* ...I killed a guy.

Both: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sera: Who ate my candy?! I swear that–

Ayumi: It was me.

Sera: I'll shower you with kisses and bring you more sweets because you haven't eaten enough!!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sonoko: Hey Ran, how is your boyfriend?

Ran: Missing... Or hiding. And you know.

Sonoko: Exactly, I just wanted to remind you.

Ran: ...

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Akako, tasting Kazuha's food: I think this one lacks salt.

Kazuha: Are you implying that I don't know how to cook?

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: *coughs violently*

Conan: Don't die!

Haibara: Don't tell me what to do!

Ayumi, with a glass of water: Drink water!

Haibara: Okay.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sonoko: Akako, those clothes look amazing on you! But I bet it would look better on the floor of Aoko's room.

Aoko: Are you flirting with Akako for Aoko?

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ayumi, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?

Sera: The car takes a screenshot.

Ran: Please pull over. I’m driving now.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sera: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Akako: And you came to me?

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Kazuha: That's not funny.

Akako: I thought it was funny.

Kazuha: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ran: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.

Sonoko: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

Sera: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?

*The next morning*

Ran, being bailed out of jail: I hate you all.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing!

Aoko: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza?

Haibara: Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate.

Sonoko: I like you.

[11queensupreme11]

(I used some incorrect quotes.)

Hime: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Sukuna: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

—

Sukuna: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Hime: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

—

Shisui: Wow, Sukuna, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sukuna: We literally slept together yesterday.

Shisui: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Ryujin: .....You two did what...?

—

Hime: You look good in that hoodie! You know where else you'd look good?

Sukuna, zero hesitation: Your bed.

Hime, at the same time: By my side- wait, what?

—

Gojo: Are we fighting or flirting?

Hime, furious: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Gojo: Your point?

—

Hime: What are you in the mood for?

Sukuna: World domination.

Hime: That's a bit ambitious.

Sukuna: You are my world.

Hime: Aww...

Sukuna:

Hime:

Sukuna:

Hime: OH.

—

Hime: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sukuna: Marry me.

—

Hime: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Megumi: I'll contact the musicians.

Yuji: Perfect, while you guys do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Hime: ...

Megumi: ...

Hime: You mean ring bearER, right?

Yuji: ...

Megumi: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

—

Hime: Sukuna, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Sukuna, naked in Hime's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Hime, already taking off her clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

—

Sukuna: I want to kiss you.

Shisui, not paying attention: What?

Sukuna: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

—

Hime: Look, last night was a mistake.

Sukuna: A sexy mistake.

Hime: No, just a regular mistake.

—

Shisui: Sukuna and I are no longer friends.

Sukuna: SHISUI THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

—

Hime when she was stuck in the hot springs: Go fuck yourself!

Sukuna, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch.

—

Sukuna: Remember, melons, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Hime: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

—

Sukuna: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shisui: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Sukuna: ...

—

Hime: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Sukuna: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, melons.

—

Sukuna: Okay, but what if we went out to eat not as friends this time?

Shisui: AS ENEMIES?!

Sukuna:

—

Hime: We have a problem.

Sukuna: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

—

Hime in Bloodflood chapter 6: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Sukuna: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Hime: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

—

Hime: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Sukuna: Hime, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

—

Principal Yaga, going over Sukuna's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

Sukuna: Yes.

Principal Yaga: Okay... may I know what you create?

Sukuna: Problems.

—

Sukuna: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Hime: Twelve thousand, actually.

Sukuna: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Hime: Yours!

Sukuna: That's right: no one's.

—

Yuji: Okay, help me please!

Sukuna: Got two words for you.

Yuji: I bet they won't be helpful.

Sukuna: Your problem.

Yuji: I was right.

—

Shisui: Junichiro and I got married!!

Sukuna: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Hime: We have a problem. Sukuna: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

this is so funny cuz in bloodflood, he's literally gonna be the cause for 90% of her problems 😭