#I just bet there's an incorrect quote like this already

[wangxian2bunnies]

Wei Wuxian: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Lan Zhan: I wake up at Mao time

Wei Wuxian:

Wei Wuxian: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[incorrectquotesideas-deactivated]

Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.

Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?

Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.

Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

Hey, it's me, the intrusive thought of using an incorrect quotes generator, winning, again

Let's throw Cassandra and the LORD OF PUDDLES (Mel) into the mix

Random npc: What do you want?

Mel: The souls of the innocent

Cassandra: A bagel!

Mel: No!

Cassandra: Two bagels

---

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Astyanax : Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Mel.

Odysseus : For the record, I already found them.

Cassandra : And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Odysseus : They stabbed me!

Astyanax : I'm surprised they waited this long, baba. We've all had the urge, remember Perimedes?

Cassandra, muttering to herself: who's Perimedes?

---

Cassandra: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Mel, LORD OF PUDDLES: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

Odysseus : Astyanax bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he's WRONG.

Mel: ...and to make sure this idiot doesn't die, of course.

Casandra, nodding: of course.

---

Mel: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?

Odysseus : Anchovies and pineapple.

Astyanax : I like beets!

Cassandra: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?

Mel: I’m disowning all of you.

---

Astyanax: What the hell was that?

Odysseus: *picks up a flashlight* Only one way to find out!

Cassandra : Wait a minute! You don’t go TOWARDS the spooky scary banging!

Mel: Yes we do, Cassandra . We always do.

Astyanax: At this point I would be surprised if we don't

---

Cassandra : Good. Thanks, dad.

Astyanax : You just called Odysseus “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Cassandra : What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Odysseus : Do you see me as a father figure, Cassandra ?

Cassandra : No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Mel: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Astyanax: yeah Cassandra, hold your horses!

Odysseus: Again with the horse???

---

Mel: Where’s my chair?

Cassandra: Astyanax broke it over Odysseus ’s back while they were wrestling.

Odysseus : Correction, Astyanax was wrestling. I was eating soup.

Mel: that's rough, buddy

---

Telemachus: You know, my father gives my mother flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Mel: Okay.

*Later*

Mel: *gives Penelope flowers*

Penelope: ???

Mel: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

Astyanax, eating popcorn: this is the funniest shit I've seen in a while

---

Cassandra : Do you love Telemachus?

Mel: Yeah, I do.

Cassandra : Astyanax! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Astyanax, mouth full of olives, enjoying the view: We all love Telemachus . You should've asked if they were IN love with him.

Mel: I thought that was implied.

Telemachus: ...

Cassandra : ...

Mel, looking straight at Astyanax: Congrats Cassandra , you just won 100 bucks.

---

Odysseus: Why is Mel crying on the floor?

Astyanax : They're drunk.

Odysseus: And?

Astyanax: They saw a picture of Telemachus's spouse.

Odysseus: But they're Telemachus's spouse.

Astyanax : I know. Hey father, Eurylochus was right.

Odysseus: How so?

Astyanax: You DO attract weird people.

Odysseus: ...

---

Astyanax: Why are your tongues purple?

Mel: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Telemachus: I had a red one.

Cassandra: oh.

Odysseus:

Cassandra: OH.

Astyanax :

Astyanax : You drank eachothers slushies?

Odysseus: Poseidon, Polyphemus, Circe, the Underworld, Scylla, Charybdis, the suitors...and I'm NOT ready to have this conversation.

---

Telemachus : That's ridiculous, Mel doesn't have a crush on me.

Astyanax : Yes they do.

Cassandra: Yes they do.

Odysseus: Yes they do.

Mel: Yes I do.

---

Astyanax: Fight me!

Telemachus: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Odysseus : Why is Telemachus crying?

Cassandra: Astyanax kicked him really hard on the ankle.

Mel: ...

---

Odysseus I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Cassandra: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Astyanax: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mel : I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Telemachus : I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

---

Penelope: Are we really going to let Odysseus keep Mel?

Telemachus: We kept Astyanax.

---

Mel: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Odysseus, Telemachus, Astyanax , and Cassandra: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

---

Astyanax: What does “take out” mean?

Mel: Food.

Telemcahus: Dating.

Cassandra: Murder.

Odysseus : It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

---

Tekemachus: How would you like your pancakes?

Mel: Plain.

Cassandra: With sprinkles!

Astyanax : Chocolate chips.

Odysseus : Potatoes.

*Telemachus, Cassandra, and Astyanax look at Odysseus *

Odysseus : What? They're good.

Cassandra, deadpanning: *gasps* monster

Astyanax: oh no here it comes...

Odysseus: I am the Monster rawr rawr rawr

---

Mel: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Telemachus: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Astyanax : Mel. Answer the question, Mel.

Mel: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Mel: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Telemachus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Astyanax : Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Telemachus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Astyanax : It takes less than a minute.

Telemachus: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Astyanax : How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Telemachus: Like seven minutes??

Odysseus : Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Astyanax : Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Odysseus ? Your stove is enchanted!

Mel: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Cassandra: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

---

Odysseus : You know what?

Odysseus : When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.

*Telemachus, Mel and Cassandra continue screaming about mold water*

Odysseus : Not the other way around.

Astyanax : I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

---

Odysseus : You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Telemachus: Several traffic violations.

Cassandra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Mel: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Astyanax : Also, that’s not our car.

---

Odysseus: You three, explain right now!

Cassandra: It was Astyanax .

Telemachus: It was Astyanax .

Mel: It was Astyanax .

Astyanax :

Astyanax : …fuck.

---

Astyanax : How do you connect with a fictional character?

Odysseus : What?

Cassandra: What?

Mel: What?

Telemachus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

---

Cassandra: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Mel : ....

Astyanax : .....

Telemachus: ......

Odysseus: ..Who?

Cassandra: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Odysseus*

---

Cassandra: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Telemachus : Maybe a bit tipsy?

Astyanax: Drunk.

Mel: Wasted.

Odysseus: Dead.

---

Cassandra: So when are we gonna tell thim?

Mel: Just give him a minute.

Astyanax: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

---

Astyanax : Mel doesn’t look very happy.

Cassandra: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Astyanax: Hey! That's not nice!

Cassandra: *shrugs* neither are them

---

Odysseus: What are you two arguing about this time?

Telemachus: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Astyanax : Cry me a table, Telemachus.

---

Cassandra: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Astyanax : Can't relate.

Mel: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

---

Telemachus : You wanna fight?! You got one!

Astyanax : Okay! *raises fists*

*Mel runs in, scoops Astyanax up in their arms, and runs away carrying them*

Telemachus :

Telemachus : What?

---

Telemachus : Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Odysseus: Damn, if people did that to each other, Astyanax would've killed me years ago.

Astyanax, nonchalant: there's still time

---

Telemachus : *lifting weights*

Mel: Wow… he's so intense!

Astyanax : I wonder what drives him.

Telemachus, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

---

Telemachus: You're pathetic!

Astyanax : You're pathetic-er!

Mel : You're both losers.

---

Telemachus : Would you take a bullet for me?

Mel: ...yes?

*Astyanax angrily burst into the room*

Telemachus : *running away* Great, thanks!

---

Cassandra & Telemachus : *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Cassandra: We need an adult!

Telemachus : Cassandra, you are an adult!

Cassandra: We need an adultier adult! Get Mel!

Telemachus: MEL????

Cassandra: They have water powers!!

Telemachus: Right!

---

Mel: What did you two do?

Telemachus :

Cassandra:

Mel: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to Odysseus and Penelope again or not.

Astyanax, having the time of his life: Again???

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Good Omens incorrect quotes:

Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

~

Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.

Crowley: You’re right.

Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*

Crowley: Violence is the question.

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Aziraphale, running after them: NO-

~

Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?

Crowley: I only take cash or credit.

~

Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Crowley: What did you do?

Aziraphale: Nobody died.

Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

~

Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Crowley: Killed without hesitation.

Aziraphale: No.

~

*how season 3 should start*

Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Crowley: You're right.

Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out

Gabriel: great, it’s a date!

Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.

Gabriel: See you at five!

~

Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

~

Beelzebub: I made tea.

Crowley: I don’t want tea.

Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Crowley: Then why are you telling me?

Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.

Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Aziraphale: This is bothering me.

Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

~

Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: fsh

~

Crowley: God, give me patience.

Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

~

Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.

~

Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?

Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~

Muriel: Why are you on the floor?

Crowley: I'm depressed.

Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?

Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Crowley: The cow???

Muriel: What?

Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?

~

Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?

Crowley: … No.

Muriel: I do!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

Muriel: I’m sad!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

~

Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.

Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.

Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??

Crowley: Angel?

Aziraphale: Yes, dear?

Crowley:

Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~

Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t

~

Aziraphale: We need a distraction.

Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Muriel, whispering: My time has come

~

Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~

Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.

Aziraphale: Try again.

Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.

~

Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Crowley: I'm a knife.

Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

~

Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?

Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.

Aziraphale: Oh, okay.

Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?

~

Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel

Crowley: Fine.

Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~

Crowley: Hey angel,

Aziraphale: Yes?

Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?

~

Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!

Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!

Crowley: I’m sorry.

Crowley: ... would you like a knife?

~

Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?

Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

~

Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.

Muriel: That's gre-

Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

~

Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost

~

Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?

Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.

~

Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.

Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?

Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.

Muriel: Yes!!!

Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.

Crowley: Obviously.

~

Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?

[iliveinyourceiling65]

The inheritance games incorrect quotes

Grayson: This is such a bad idea. Jameson: Then why are you coming along? Grayson: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Avery: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Jameson: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m nice and Grayson isn’t

Jameson, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him  Grayson: You did WHAT–  Xander : William Snakepeare

Avery: I prevented a murder today. Alisa: Really? How’d you do that? Avery: self control.

Avery: Fuck. Libby: We've got to work on your cursing. Avery: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Avery, talking to Jameson on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Jameson: You bet! Avery: At what temperature? Jameson: 535. Avery: That's the clock. Jameson: Avery: Jameson: 536.

Jameson: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

Nash, about Avery: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the house. Jameson : Are we stealing them? Xander: New or used? Nash: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Jameson: Must be hard not being able to laugh Grayson: I do have a sense of humor you know Jameson: I’ve never heard you laugh before Grayson: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Thea: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Avery: So what’s for dinner?  Libby, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Grayson: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

[bloedewir]

Incorrect Dragon Age: The Veilguard quote dialogue

Solavellan tw

I just can't get this stuff off my mind. It's popping up no matter of my own will.

INT. Lighthouse

Rook: Stop. Murmuring. Stop it. It's pretty annoying.

Solas: I most certainly do not-

Rook: You are. Every bloody time you see her. Freak.

Solas: ..I apologize then. Apparently it is not that easy to separate my thoughts from yours since we were bound, and your mind can barely handle a much simpler tasks.

Rook: Is that an insult? I can swear, it's an insult.

Solas: Maybe my presence can actually have a beneficial effect on such an ordinary mind as yours after all.

Rook: Uh-huh.. better try to improve your social skills and stop being an ass, and talk to your ex. Not that difficult.

Solas: I want to hear neither your advices nor your opinion on that matter.

Rook: You're just scared she wouldn't kneel before Your Wolfy Majesty now, is that so? Hilarious.

Solas: It is not-

Rook: I can ask. That would be fun, I bet.

Solas: Don't, Rook. I'm serious.

Rook: Pfft. Hey, Inquisitor.. hey, have a minute? Can you answer just a tiny question, huh?

Inquisitor: I.. do have time, yes. Fine, ask away.

Rook: I've been thinking..

Inquisitor: Such a promising beginning. And, how is your luck with "thinking"?

Rook: Ugh. Fine, no prelude then. Have you already figured you and your ex were doomed from the start? No happy ending for you, no wedding bells, no half-blood kids.. you do know that, right?

Solas: Such a delicate approach...

Inquisitor: Hm.

Rook: Not an answer.

Inquisitor: The answer is: I don't know what a sick game you two play in your minds and I don't know what makes both of you think I'm willing to join but I do know that if you'll ever talk to me like that again, I'll choke you by my own hand and he will stay trapped in his beloved Fade forever.

Rook: ...okay then. Good talk.

Solas: Pleased, I presume?

Rook: Kind of. That is an answer.

Rook: Oh, come one, it's not that hard. Use your brains. She's so mad about simple question because it still burns. Love and stuff.

Solas: Let me summarize: you intentionally manipulated the painful feelings of one of your trusted allies just to win the imaginary argument I had no intention to participate in?

Rook: I- No, not exactly.

Solas: Hm. And they call me a monster. What will they call you when this is over, I wonder.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.6 because somehow I'm the most productive in the middle of the night (the generator)

Tom: Why is there blood everywhere?

Luke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Tom: You stabbed someone?! Luke: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife. AJ: Hey, what are you reading? Sam: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. AJ: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Tom: So it’s just a Notebook? Sam: It’s just a Notebook. Tom: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Luke: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Tom: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Luke: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Luke, right after Tom leaves the room: I miss him already. Luke: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead! Luke: You don't think I can fight because of my height! Sam: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Tom can fight in that dress either. Tom: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride. Tom: Why are you late? Sam: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. Tom: Overslept? Sam: Overslept. Tom: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! AJ: It's kind of complicated, but Sam and Luke- Tom: Got it. Forget I asked. Sam: Luke is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Tom: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!

AJ: What's the signal when something goes wrong? Sam: We yell, "oh shit." Tom: ...That'll work. Luke: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter "A"! Tom: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon. AJ: Fuck you. Sam: I’m totally useless. Tom: You’re not totally useless. Tom: You can be used as a bad example. AJ: When do you usually go to sleep? Luke: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods. Tom: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Luke: No… not really. Tom: Are you going to do something about it? Luke: Hm… nah. Tom: Luke learned how to fold origami penguins from Sam the other day. I told him, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here." And the next day he put them in the fridge. Sam: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth. Sam, barging in: Syphilis! AJ: Sam: AJ: Pardon? Luke, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Tom: ... Tom: What’s in the box? Luke: What woul- Tom: Luke, what’s in the box? Luke: I think you know. Sam: Today at 7 am, Tom poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Luke: I watched Tom brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. AJ: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[watarfallar]

Have Some Celebratory Incorrect Quotes- HERE'S TO WILD LIFE!

Joel: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener. Etho: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with them. Lizzie: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night. Scott: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other. Gem: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending. Impulse: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

Pearl: My mom is calling… hi mom. Jimmy: Come on guys, stop. They’re trying to talk to their mom. Scar: *loud fake sexual noises* Mumbo: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! Grian: *is asleep* Ren: *gets really close to the phone* Tell her I said hi.

Impulse: So, Skizz is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Impulse: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Grian: I don't know about that...I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Scott: Take this more seriously! Skizz was clearly taken in their sleep! Lizzie: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Cleo: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting...? *Skizz arrives* Skizz: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Grian, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Grian: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Impulse: ...I did. I broke it. Grian: No. No you didn't. Cleo? Cleo: Don't look at me. Look at Etho. Etho: What?! I didn't break it. Cleo: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Etho: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Cleo: Suspicious. Etho: No, it's not! Bdubs: If it matters, probably not, but BigB was the last one to use it. BigB: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Bdubs: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? BigB: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Bdubs! Impulse: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Grian. Grian: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Bdubs: Grian... Cleo's been awfully quiet. Cleo: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Grian, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Grian: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Grian: Grian: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Joel: Christmas lights? Pearl: Check. Scott: Thermos of hot cocoa? Pearl: Check. Cleo: Santa suits? Pearl: Check. Grian: Shovel? Pearl: Check. Martyn: Alibi and bail money? Pearl: Check- wait, WHAT?!

Martyn: Alright, who’s hogging the Netflix account? I’ve been locked out all week! Scott: Sucks to suck! I’m already on the 8th season of Friends! Bdubs: Not me. Martyn: Don’t lie. I know it’s not Scar or Skizz. Bdubs: It’s not me, really! Martyn: … Bdubs: …But it might be Joel… Martyn: You gave Joel access to our Netflix account!?!? Bdubs: They wanted to watch Orange is the New Black! Martyn: I’m going to kill you.

Cleo: I’m the smartest person in my friend group. Skizz: You hang out with BigB, Jimmy, Etho, and Impulse. Skizz: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Gem: Dumbest scar stories, go! Martyn: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Etho: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Tango: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. BigB: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. Bdubs: I have emotional scars.

Scar: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Bdubs: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Martyn: *drinks straight from the tap* Skizz: *dehydrates* Ren: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Pearl: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

!SUGGESTIVENESS AHEAD!

Grian: Make her pussy wet not her eyes. Scott: Make his dick hard not his life. Bdubs: Break her bed not her heart. Scar: Play with her boobs not her feelings. Mumbo: Get on his dick not his nerves. Etho: Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

!SUGGESTIVENESS OVER!

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years* Mumbo: So what have you been up to recently? BigB: Leading a revolution with Etho. Mumbo: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob. BigB: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome! Mumbo: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Bdubs? BigB: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Joel? Mumbo: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Lizzie? BigB: Cult leader. Mumbo: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Joel, to the Squad: I’d die for you. Jimmy: Then perish. Scar: You will. Skizz: Please don’t. Impulse: Cool. Scott: I’d die for you first.

Jimmy: You're a lying piece of shit! Scott: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Impulse: I'm leaving and I'm taking Ren with me! Scar, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Mumbo: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Pearl: Schrödinger's boys. Grian: FUCK! Lizzie: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Etho: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Etho: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Mumbo: ... Pearl: ... Grian: ... Lizzie: ... Etho: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Gem: What do you guys do when you're stressed? Cleo: Try and calm myself down! Tango: Sleep. Martyn: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out. Scar: I don't.

+ bonus hermitcraft quote! (Dasuma and his brainless children)

Xisuma: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Pearl: Several traffic violations. Scar: Three counts of resisting arrest. Jimmy: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Grian: Also, that’s not our car.

[octopiys]

Hi again friend! I’m glad you’re liking my quotes. I have two this time!

“Depression is kicking my ass more than my mother ever could”

“You don’t know true terror till you almost send your parent gay porn”

If you ever get bored of my quotes don’t hesitate to say so, I don’t want to bother you. Have a good time zone friend!

🪶

No worries at all anon I love the quotes :D hope you're having an awesome timezone!

-

Incorrect CoD as Quotes(OR things my friends have said)

-

Soap, tearing into the room: GAZ-

Gaz: wh? Hello? What happened to knocking?

Soap: doesn't matter, hide me!

Gaz: oh fuck no, I'm not doing that again, you know how terrifying Ghost was when he-

Soap: you don't know true terror until you almost send your captain gay porn, hide me!

Gaz:

Gaz: you almost WHAT

-

Los Vaqueros and TF-141 after celebrating a successful mission :

Alejandro: you know, Ghost....

Ghost:

Alejandro: the first time I met you, I thought you were gay

Rodolfo: was.... was that an unspoken thing?

Gaz: we haven't talked about that?

Soap: YOU ARE????

-

Nikolai: don't freak out, it's okay, he already saw my boobs on the bus!

-

Price: ohhh Simon I forgot how good of a bitch you could be-

-

Roach: don't worry guys, the guy of all time has arrived!!

-

Price, playing minecraft, speaking to villagers: can you have babies so I can kidnap them?

Laswell: John what the f-

-

Alejandro, watching the 141 "train": what are they... even doing?

Rodolfo: they're like prehistoric planet.

Alejandro:

Rodolfo: we don't know much about them.

-

Soap: so my senior prank was filling up a staircase with balloons.

Soap: and one girl opened the doors and let all of them out by walking through it.

Soap: so next year I think we should do it again

Soap: but with lasers.

-

König: I made a bet with God at aquatica!

Roach: ???

König: he said no.

-

Graves: in God we trust. Hoo rah.

Alejandro: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE-

-

Alex: I made a dick joke and Ghost just stared at me.

Alex: I'm... not actually sure what to do now.

-

Soap: well you know what they say, when life gets rough-

Ghost: depression is kicking my ass more than my father ever could.

Soap:

Soap: okay, I feel like ye should really see someone for that

-

Gaz: is he white? Cus if he is, then we don't have that in common.

-

Rodolfo: I'm pretty sure that kid just called you a bitch in four different languages.

Valeria:

-

Price: nothing says team bonding like getting secondhand high!

Laswell: JOHN

Price: IT WASNT MY FAULT-

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

.

.

The long-awaited, the sequel of a sequel, ✨ Mairuma Incorrect Quotes ✨Get ready..*finger guns* to be disappointed!

.

.

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #1

Purson: Lied? Ah hell no he's definitely not straight.

Camui: As much as I agree he doesn't really look like a demon who only has one gender attraction however, he never really shown any other type of gender other than the wonderful females.

Purson: Fine. Bet.

Moments later

Purson pointing in a random direction: Lied! Look it's Opera-sensei being shirtless!

Lied immediately whips his head around: Where?!

Camui:

( Yes, how did Lied-kun realize he isn't only bisexual? Opera. No need I say more.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

Kerori, literally not getting any sleep because of her akudol career: My fucking mixed complex is so weird and a pain in the ass too, like I could literally be bawling my eyes out on the floor and writing depressing inferiority lyrics, and the next second I could be boasting about my cuteness being as superior as Delkila.

Agares, just trying to get some sleep because it's fucking 3 AM but not wanting to be a prick to his best friend finally opening up: Uh-huh.

Kerori, unconciously pining over a girl she often rejects: Also Gyari, she is such an unbelievable asshole. Like she says she wants to give me some of her company's Vill because she said 'you should rest, Kerori. My beautiful gem must be at her very best for me to be happy making you mine.' like fuck you, that shit you just said made my brain turn into mush and now I can't stop thinking about it you rockhead bastard.

Agares, covering his ears with his pillow not wanting to hear the hopeless pining for the hundredth time: Uh-huh.

( 💫 Agares and Kerori, the tsundere duo because it's literally my drug 💫 )

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

Asmodeus, speaking to himself : Listen here, Alice. You don't want to have a stain on your honored position as Iruma-sama's soulmate. So you shall NOT allow your insufferable feelings get the better of you.

Iruma, does something Iruma-like:

Asmodeus, being incredibly in love: Fuck.

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #4

Ronove: You're just like me!

Zeze: Oh I can see~

Ronove and Zeze singing together dramatically: We take responsibilties~

Vine, mumbling in a corner about shiny people being way too sparkling: Oh derkila, TWO of these types now?

The rest of the student council except Ameri, realizing that they're gonna have another version of Ronove: Aw fuck.

( Student council shenanigans because I can.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #5

Misfit Class: We finally have a plan.

Balam: As long as it doesn't get you illegally in trouble

Misfit Class:

Balam:

Lied: FUCK! We planned this shit for two hours already!

.

.

.

So yeah that's all. I decided to be nice and give them a break on the dark humor and trauma thing. Don't expect this to be your usual. This is one-in a life time sorta thing. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my post and have a good day or night guys, gals and non-binary pals!

[devilsrecreation]

Even more Outlander Incorrect Quotes (feat oc’s and the main cast)

Jasiri: She was poetry, but he couldn't read

Janja: His name was Jared hes nineteen

Kiburi: When his parents built a very strange machine

Reirei: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

The skinks: aaaay macarena

Mzingo: Horrible job everyone

Kion: Bunga has no survival or self-preservation instincts. I think he was born without them.

Beshte: That can’t be true-

Kion: Watch this: Hey Bunga! Race you down!

Bunga: *jumps off of Pride Rock*

Some Villain: We have your son.

Reirei: What? All my kids are right here

Villain: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off his sandwich?

Reirei: Oh my god you have Goigoi

Reirei: If you want to know what females want, talk to a female

Cheezi: Oh yeah! Good idea!

Chungu: But where can we find one?

Reirei: I’M A FEMALE. I’M REFINED AND ELEGANT LIKE A DELICATE FLOWER, YOU IDIOTS!

Janja: I’m an idiot

Reirei:

Kiburi:

Mzingo:

Ushari:

Janja:

Kiburi: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Janja: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one! 
Chungu: Tubular AF! 
Cheezi: Mood to the max! 
Nne, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it. 
Tano, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

Goigoi: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Chungu: Several traffic violations.
Cheezi: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Tamka: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Nduli: Also, that’s not our car.

Kenge: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Njano: ... Your what?
Kenge: My friends.
Kifo: Is he saying “friends”?
Sumu: I think they're being sarcastic.
Shupavu: No, no, no, this is delirium, he’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Kenge! All of your friends are right here.
Kenge: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Kiburi, trying to convince Kenge to hang with the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really strong.
Nduli: And loud!
Tamka: And grumpy!
Neema: [And oblivious to reality!]
Kenge:

Chungu: Aibu doesn’t have a crush on me!

Janja: Yeah, she does

Cheezi: Yeah, she does!

Kifo: Yes, she does

Aibu: Yes I do

The squad is trying to con some random guy
Ushari: Shupavu, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Shupavu: We need money!
Ushari: You're scamming him?
Shupavu: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Ushari: What?! No way!
Shupavu: Why not? We already stole Njano!
Njano: Hey guys
Ushari: No, we didn't. Njano can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!
Njano: I wanna steal

Reirei: Can one of you pass the salt?

Janja: *throws Ushari across the table*

Tamka and Nduli are sitting in jail

Tamka: Duh, who do you wanna call?

Nduli: I’d call Kiburi, but I’d feel safer in jail

Janja: *to Jasiri* Do you wanna stay for dinner?

Shenzi: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

Janja/Njano: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night

Mzingo/Ushari: You were flirting with Jasiri/Shupavu

Janja/Njano: So what, she’s my girlfriend!

Mzingo/Ushari: You asked her if she was single and then cried when she said no

Ushari: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me 
Janja: Okay, but in my defense, the skinks bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. 
Ushari: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Jasiri: I told Janja his ears flush when he lies

Madoa: Why?
Jasiri: Look.
Jasiri: *gesturing to herself and the leaders* Hey Janja! Do you love us?
Janja, covering their ears: No.
Madoa:

Sumu: Kenge and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us 
Ushari: *Sighing* What did Kenge do? 
Sumu: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... 
Kenge: Who wants a steering wheel?

Ucheshi: Makuu and I don’t use pet names

Kiburi: Oh yeah? Then what do bees make?

Ucheshi: Honey?

Makuu: Yes?

Ucheshi:

Kiburi: Don’t lie to me ever again

[thecaptainstevie]

Was messing with some incorrect quote generator so I'm just putting my favs here:

Donnie: *hiding something in their coat* I think we should adopt another kid! Mikey: No. Donnie: Why not? Mikey: Because when you say “kid”, you mean “cat”, and we already have fifteen of those. Donnie: *unzips coat* Sixteen.

------

Donnie: Hey, Raph. What kind of flowers do you prefer? Raph: I like sunflowers. Donnie, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit-

(this one is funny cuz of snapdonnie)

------

Raph: Do you cook? Donnie: I made a cake once. Mikey: Yeah, it was good. Donnie: Really? Mikey: Don’t make me lie twice, Donnie.

------

Donnie, enters their own password: I'm in

------

Mikey (as dr. Feelings): I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you here today. It’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room. Raph: Why did you say that so vaguely? Leo and I are literally the only people you called in here.

------

Donnie: I'm bored. Mikey: Wanna commit first degree murder? Donnie: Sure! Raph, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Leo down!!

------

Mikey: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster* Leo: … Mikey: …I get confused sometimes. Leo: Me too.

(their adhd asses)

------

Raph: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Mikey: Mine just says "Mikey no." Raph: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

------

Leo: I want to be like a caterpillar. Donnie: Explain. Leo: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. Mikey: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? Leo: Leo: That's just another highlight!

------

Mikey: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but Donnie: That's because you're too short to do so. Mikey: ...Listen here you fucking—

------

Leo: Am I right, Donnie? Donnie: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

------

Donnie: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it. Raph: …I was hungry.

------

Alright that was fun, might do more of these sometime

(Update: I did more, here)

[annabelle-creart]

could i have more outlier headcannons/incorrect quotes pls? preferably with more blurr and salvage interactions (but you don't have too)

i'm honestly in love with this au, and as a blurr lover, i love her powers

Oh my Primus, really? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!💖😭💖I love to hear that!

just because my day was boring, I got inspired and you made my day, here you go (I´ll do more shenanigans about them, I promise):

BLURR & SALVAGE: ‘THE SONNE’ on the HIGHER GROUND

CW: dysphoria. Salvage is more worried than should. Also, Salvage struggling with some feelings. already like 4 dead people but not explicit. Velocitron because we need more of it been the typical ultra-gangster-dirty cyberpunk with illegal races and bets. Salvage and Blurr are technically teens, my babies😭Blurr´s voice is masculine because she hasn´t transitioned yet

The sky looks grey “Maybe…”

“No” she replies to her friend with a steady and deep voice, adjusting her pink and purple shoulder plates

The people look strangely upset today “But…”

“It will be okay” again her voice got deeper, now seeing her wheels, if they´re enough quick and loose

“What if I travel and I can´t help you?”

“I´ll figure it out, Spark can help us” Blurr was already ready, just waiting for the bell to ring, looking on the mirror her triangle frame decorated on a neon yellow and orange sphere like the sun

“Blurr…”

“Great Prime! Salvage, stop!” This time Blurr couldn´t control her tune, making it heavier than expected but usual “it´s okay, pal,” she softened her voice box “it´s easy, I´ll win the race, we get the money, we pay Spark for her attention and service, I got all the pieces for my transition, you got a new workshop, and it will be left over of the money for us to, who knows, travel across the galaxy! All paid!” Blurr took Salvage´s shoulders with enthusiasm “I got this! I promise” her optics didn´t have color, they were like entire grey, but still a shiny glint of hope covered them, Salvage took her on his arms for a last hug after the race, when the megaphone started to call:

“RACERS! ON YOUR PLACES, LET´S MAKE SOME SPECTACULE FOR YOUR FANS!” the voice of the megaphone shouted out loud

“See ya on The Pits?”

“Sure, but don´t judge me if I´m not there!” Salvage gave her a worried tune

“No problem pal” she said before leaving almost in a rush, not enough compared to her super speed but quick as always, she named herself Blurr after all, Salvage still struggled for a moment, trying to reach the correct word to tell her before the race started, even if it was on the communicator, he sighed, trying to calm himself, why was he asking if she would be okay if he already knew? And Blurr also knew, but after all, he saw her after the race, in another planet, a lot of times, but still wasn´t sure if she would be completely okay, the worry was like a fungus on his system.

Nonetheless, if she needed him, he had to be there

“Salvage?” he heard from his side, just after getting into Blurr´s stage on the pits

“Who´s the guy?” Spark asked, a minicon, really good at mechanics and also med bot if needed

“No one, Spark, where´s Blurr?”

“There!” Spark saw the bot, getting in the middle of the other racers on her position, she wasn´t the smallest but neither the biggest, some were like trucks and other looked like two-wheeled, nothing she hadn´t see or struggled before

“That frame isn´t too tight?” again the voice on Salvage´s side “Oh, right, that racer looks like come from Caminus”

“Really?” Salvage replied with sarcasm “you finally got out of ideas for jokes or you´re just cold for the weather?”

“C´mon, Salvage, you know Blurr´s too delicate for the big leagues! You don´t really want her to get hurt!”

“She will not! She´s strong and knows what she´s doing, we´re already on the final competition!”

“We´ll see that”

“Core! We need you!” another bot called for her, she later got away

“OH, THIS IS THE LAST RACE OF THE SEASON, TODAY WE WILL HAVE A CHAMPION AND A TRUE RACER, SO, ON YOUR MARKS, NOW!” the bot on the megaphone was so loud and authoritarian that everyone got on their places

“Hey, Sonne” A minicon on her side called her, referencing the Sun marks on her frames “You will help me, right?”

“Of course!” Blurr replied to him with a big smile “We had been helping each other. I got your back!”

“ON YOUR MARKS…” the lights turned red “STEADY…” it became yellow “NOT YET, HAHA, PREPARE YOUR ROTORS AND DON´T OVERHEAT…” This time an orange, it is not usual and is random, mostly to mess up with the racers and the big, roaring, full audience “NOT YET… NOT YET… NOT YET… IT IS, YOU CAN GO, SHU SHU!” the light turned green

The rotors roared on danger and the audience screamed on ecstasies, the racers got in line, already crashing and clashing with each other, it was not an excuse to explode if you were on the back, Blurr was the last one, avoiding all the bigger trucks like if she was floating, she couldn´t use yet her super speed, it was too crowded, and the race was too wavy.

Two minicons on her sides surrounded, getting closer each second, Blurr didn´t see it before but she could hear at her sides something like white noise- IT ISN´T WHITE NOISE, THOSE ARE DRILLS, FRAG!

Her back unfortunately wasn´t empty, a bigger bot was on her way, she couldn´t go backwards

“SONNE!” She heard from her front “Take this!” the minicon from before, with a mechanical claw, throwed Blurr a ball “it will give you some extra speed!”

“Thanks!” Blurr had a smile on her insides

“Blurr!” Salvage called her from her communicator

“What are you doing?!” Spark yelled at her angry

“Getting some help!” She replied, then, she transformed on the road, using her wheels on her legs like roller skates, the minicons got closer even faster but Blurr, finally with more space, slowed her speed and sat on the big truck´s car chest, she broke the truck´s windshields and saved the ball there

“Wait-wait-wait!” the truck cried

“Sonne!”

“Thanks for the speed!” Blurr jumped from the truck´s chest and transformed again, clashing her grill against the trunk, and due to the lack of space because of the other racers, the minicons and her ‘friend’ clashed against the truck, Blurr used part of her ability to get backwards, and the truck blow up immediately (as expected, it wasn´t  help, after all)

“GREAT AND DEAR AMALGAMOUS, ALMATONIA OF ALL TRICKSTERS, FOUR AT THE PRICE OF ONE?! WHO IS- IS THAT SONNE?! OH! OUR BEAUTIFUL THE SONNE, WHO LIGHTS HER WAY AS THE SUN ITSELF, LITERRALY!!!” the voice at the megaphone proclaimed, and with it, people´s laughs, yells and cries, the people were euphoric for more (and some were crying for their lost bets)

Due to the explosion, the other racers got disoriented, including Blurr, but she and some other put themselves together easily and used the fire as distraction to take advantage, finally, the first round was over with the red flag marking the point, second of ten entire rounds, and this was just the beginning

Salvage wasn´t happy for those bots, but these are the kind of things Blurr will not regret on the moment, to ruin this now will not make any difference

And like a drill on his spark chamber, Salvage took away his microphone and run away ��not now, not now, not now” now that she needed him the most, like if air passed through him, his metal became lighter and with it, the sensation of floating

Now he was on a field, he already saw it before, multiple times, actually, but it was as instant as a dream, and he never saw people on it before, this time a single purple bot sat on the grass, in the distance, some bots playing cube, it is not a game he likes a lot but enjoys looking at it

“Hey pal” a soft voice called him “you look younger than before”

“Ah…” Salvage hesitated at the bot; green optics covered in a red circle starring at him

“Oh, come on, you´re not that young!” the voice sounded age-worn, like if it had some years backwards, but couldn´t recognize the… wait a moment

“Blurr?” Salvage asked, pointing at her sharp lines of her frame all racers have, also guided by her younger voice he had met before

“Finally!” she yelled with sarcasm, patting at the floor for the bot to sit

“But, how?”

“How what? People get old!” she moved her arms quickly

“Who are those?” he asked for the bots playing cube

“Those are our sparklings”

“Wait- what?!” Salvage got surprised, and she started to laugh out loud, as loud as she always did, but now more breathy

“Fool! HAAHAAA! You get fooled so easy!” she laughed again, and calmed in some nano-clicks “phew, no, those are mine, you see the SNAIL of there…” she raised her voice on that specific word, getting a red bot´s attention, maybe as old as she

“Come here and prove me you can do it better!” the red bot replied with an angry but funny voice

“I´m talking right now!” she excused, returning to Salvage “that´s their adseroux, we created them”

“Wow, that´s actually a good notice, I didn´t expected me to live this kind of life with you”

“I know” she said softly “not with anyone actually”

“Sorry? What do you mean”

“You´ll figure it out later, but just for you to know” she lowered her voice and got closer to Salvage´s audial “don´t think you´re getting behind for not having what everyone else´s have, not all have the same feelings. Just remember I still and will always love you, pal”

Salvage felt something on his check plates, burring them on his servos

“Not that kind of love, idiot, pay attention!” she knocked Salvage´s arm, which were as strong or stronger than younger Blurr “not the love of kisses and all those things! I mean love of the type to stay with someone even trough time travel” This phrase took Salvage´s attention “the kind of love that made me have my own life but wait for you every time. Salvage, you will understand your type of love is not that visible, but is maybe one of the betters that exist” Blurr put her servos on his shoulder like before “We are okay, and maybe we are not together physically, but we have the other in a special place in our spark, we got different routes and different ways of life but we always go back to the other, because we´re more than friends”

“But…” Salvage hesitated, trying to get Blurr´s excuse, but this time there wasn´t “how I´m not hurt by it, how do you really know it doesn´t hurt?”

“It hurts. When I met that idiot, you got scared that I would go away, and each time you talked about that scientist my energon heated up!” Blurr laughed a bit “but all people can get jealous, and we understood that our directions were different”

“Wait, we are not always together?!”

“No. But that´s okay too, because we love us” Blurr patted Salvage´s shoulder and got her attention back to the game

“What kind of pair are we?”

“Not to little to be friends, but too high to be conjuxes”

“How does that work?”

“You will get it when you get your feelings together”

“How do I know that?”

“You will get it, I promise”

“Don´t make yourself the enigmatic!”

“Hey! You do it all the time! It´s my turn!” Salvage started to disappear again, only getting Blurr´s last but normal fool smile.

A horn scared Salvage like waking up from a dream, in the middle of the empty hallway

“FRAGGING ALL 13 AND THE REST OF THE PRIMES!!! WE HAVE A WINNER! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! DID YOU SAW THAT!? SHE DESTROYED ALL PEOPLE TO USE FAIRLY HER POWER! WHO WOULD SAY SHE WOULD LET THIS TRICK FOR THE FINAL? LET´S CELEBRATE OUR WINNER: THE SONNE!!!!!!!” when Salvage heard the name, his spark relaxed enough to make him almost fall, but ignoring the feeling, he ran to Spark´s side, watching Blurr make it with just four opponents left behind from the 15 that were on the race “GREAT LIFE, SHE´S BARELY A SPARKLING, SHE´S PROBABLY THE YOUNGEST TO GET THIS FAR EVEN TO WIN AND GET THE PRIZE, MY!!! WHAT A NIGHT, DEAR VELOCITRONIANS!” Salvage got a notification from his datapad, the prize was already on Blurr and Salvage´s account (which was easier and cheaper than having separated accounts)

“I have to admit, I´m impressed” Spark commented on the yells and the cries of the moment “she´s a great racer”

“I know” Salvage replied with a big smile and glinting optics, like about to cry, he was so proud of his best friend on the podium, with flowers on one hand and the other on her- HER LEG IS BLACK AND ORANGE- PRIMUS, HER LEG IS BURNED AND HER WHEEL IS ALMOST MELTED!

“Blurr!” Salvage called her from the communicator he throwed up before

“SALVAGE! I WINNED! WE WINNED!” Salvage had to get accomplished to her heavier voice again, at least the change of voice box was closer than before “WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE, PAY SPARK AND LET´S SEE ON THE PITS, OKAY?!” for a moment, Salvage didn´t say anything “pal?”

“YOU, STUPID IDIOT, YOU´RE HURT!! GET DOWN THERE SO WE CAN LOOK AT YOUR LEG!”

“And dinner?”

“We´ll talk about that later!”

Like a scolded sparkling, Blurr got out of the podium as fast as her leg let her, which wasn´t much, Salvage saw some strange bots getting on the pits, which scared him and got immediately to her side, taking her out of there

…

“Salvage?” Blurr called with an entire spoon on her mouth “where have you been?”

“Uh… ah, I´ve… met you, in the future”

“Really?” Blurr got fascinated about it “am I beautiful?”

“You were old”

“What?! You´re kidding!” Salvage shared a big laugh and smile, making Blurr get annoyed, returning to her plate

“I´m serious, but don´t worry, you´re not ugly! And you looked happy”

“Really?” Blurr raised her optics again “Am I still a femme bot?”

Salvage opened all his optics “why do you ask that? You´re still thinking of it?”

“I just… what if I don´t like it? Or maybe I’m just too accomplished to this frame and this voice and I never suited with the rest? Or what if I never wanted it?”

“Blurr, you´re not really doing that?”

“Doing what?

“To get unsecure about your life! You´re the one who is always making plans and talking about achieving things! And this is the first time we get something done, Blurr” he took her servo, “you had been imagining yourself like this for a long time, you´re always changing your tone and your armor, you look like the most delicate of all and still win that race with your own servos”

“Why is that important?”

“Because it is still you, no matter what will happen, it will still be you! And if you don´t like it, well, you tried, we can always get something to revert it, or maybe just changed it a bit, but whatever it is: don´t doubt of yourself! Because you´re the most brave and stupid bot I had ever met”

“You´re not taking emphasis on stupid, right?”

“A little, but as femme bot or male bot, or none or both, you are still brave and idiot, and after all of that, you are my best friend, and nothing will change that”

“…Do you really think that?” Blurr was about to cry

“That and a lot of more things that I can´t describe without it to sound like we´re dating”

“My- that´s overrated! Just say it!”

Salvage laughed a bit while Blurr cleaned her glinting optics with her servo

“I love you, Blurr, not too little as a friend but not as much as a conjux”

“My… I love you too, Salvage, more than a friend but less than a conjux”

Maybe this was what Blurr was talking about, this feeling of never falling in love but loving as if it was the rule on the world, Salvage still didn´t got it at all but now the idea was clearer

And Blurr was just expecting for everything to be okay, she was scared but Salvage was right, she would finally have what she wanted, it was a really big goal, and it was one she really wanted to enjoy

[thearoaceshark]

Gosho Girls Incorrect Quotes, Part 2

@quite-a-character I'm BACK!! I hope u like it

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: I already told you it's not like that!

Sonoko: Well one of us is wrong, AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE ME!!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Aoko, speaking of Akako: Help! I lost my friend, have you seen her?!!

X: How does she look?

Aoko: Beautiful!

Akako, behind her holding two ice creams: *dying of cuteness*

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ran: The best revenge is to ignore them.

Sonoko: Or frame them for a crime.

Akako: Or curse them.

Ran: NO–

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: We have to go out!

Sera: I'm pansexual!

Haibara: That's not what I meant but I support you!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Akako, telling them how she met Kaito: he rejected me, and in that moment I understood how ugly people felt.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Aoko: You have no idea what I'm capable of.

Sera: Not to offend you, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sonoko: If I'm your favorite, raise your hand.

Ran: What if you're not my favorite?

Sonoko: Raise your standards.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ayumi: What happens if we stop being friends?

Haibara: The day we stop being friends will be because we will be (platonically) married and united for the rest of the eternity.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Aoko: Akako has a... Unique way of showing her love.

Kazuha: Look. Akako!

Akako: ??

Ran: We love you.

Akako, smiling: I would kill and curse the world for you.

All: ...

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sera: What's the straightest thing you've ever done?

Akako: *sighs heavily* ...I killed a guy.

Both: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sera: Who ate my candy?! I swear that–

Ayumi: It was me.

Sera: I'll shower you with kisses and bring you more sweets because you haven't eaten enough!!

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sonoko: Hey Ran, how is your boyfriend?

Ran: Missing... Or hiding. And you know.

Sonoko: Exactly, I just wanted to remind you.

Ran: ...

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Akako, tasting Kazuha's food: I think this one lacks salt.

Kazuha: Are you implying that I don't know how to cook?

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: *coughs violently*

Conan: Don't die!

Haibara: Don't tell me what to do!

Ayumi, with a glass of water: Drink water!

Haibara: Okay.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sonoko: Akako, those clothes look amazing on you! But I bet it would look better on the floor of Aoko's room.

Aoko: Are you flirting with Akako for Aoko?

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ayumi, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?

Sera: The car takes a screenshot.

Ran: Please pull over. I’m driving now.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Sera: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Akako: And you came to me?

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Kazuha: That's not funny.

Akako: I thought it was funny.

Kazuha: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Ran: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.

Sonoko: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

Sera: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?

*The next morning*

Ran, being bailed out of jail: I hate you all.

°•○●□♤♡◇♧☆

Haibara: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing!

Aoko: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza?

Haibara: Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate.

Sonoko: I like you.

[aayo-whatt]

~got bored so i put the winchester gays and their angel "buddies" in an incorrect quotes generator~

PART TWO BESTIES

~~

Adam, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast. Dean: You're kinda ugly.

~~

Cas: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Michael: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Gabe: Fuck you.

~~

Sam: Oh my Gabe. Dean: Don't you mean 'oh my god'? Sam: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

HELLO- IM DYING RN-

~~

Michael: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined. Dean: Heck. Michael: You're on thin fucking ice. Michael: Oh no-

~~

Michael: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it. Gabe: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

~~

Michael: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know them, and Dean is perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

~~

Cas: Dean, you're an asshole, man. Dean: You are what you eat Cas.

CACKLING SOBBING ON THE FLOOR DYING OH MY CHUCK-

~~

Michael: A mouse! Dean, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Gabe, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Adam, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Cas, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Sam: His name is Remi, dummy. Michael: I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

~~

Michael: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? Cas: I accidentally fell down. Gabe: DEAN PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent! Sam: Cas bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money. Adam: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Sam.

~~

Michael: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? Cas: We're chopsticks! Michael: Well... that's cute! Michael: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? Dean: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

~~

Dean: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’ Sam: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

~~

*Dean dies in a game with ships* Cas: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Cas: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Gabe: Legend has it that Dean still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Dean: Of course I do.

~~

Adam with a gun to Sam's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven? Sam: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

~~

Cas: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal! Michael: Can a butterfly be nonbinary? Cas: I mean, maybe? I don't judge. Adam, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then- Gabe: Then it would be inconvenient as fuck. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back. Dean: Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would... Yeah... Sam: *sips coffee* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a- Adam: No, nononono. You fuckers have already shattered my dream, you don't get the fucking privilege to make that reference. Michael: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee... Why would you make that reference? Cas: You clearly have not lived with them long enough.

~~

Dean: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

~~

Cas: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

~~

Gabe: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul! Sam: Why is Michael's a monster? Michael: Gabe, you forgot Sam's! Its only an empty space! Gabe, proudly: Exactly

THE THING ABOUT SAM'S SOUL IS CANON OMGKBVERIUERKJ-

~~

Sam: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Gabe: What did you just say- Sam: Foetons! *Laughs* Gabe: Wh-what?

that is a terrible joke i love it

~~

Dean: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Cas: But I'm a vegan. Dean: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

~~

Gabe: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess? Cas: Your life? Gabe: I- well yes, but-

~~

Gabe: And here we see Dean and Sam in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Dean: Gaelic bread. Sam: Grueling brad. Dean: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

~~

*when sam has no soul*

Dean: Sam, you need to react when people cry! Sam: I did. I rolled my eyes.

~~

PART 1 PART 3

[11queensupreme11]

(I used some incorrect quotes.)

Hime: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Sukuna: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

—

Sukuna: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Hime: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

—

Shisui: Wow, Sukuna, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sukuna: We literally slept together yesterday.

Shisui: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Ryujin: .....You two did what...?

—

Hime: You look good in that hoodie! You know where else you'd look good?

Sukuna, zero hesitation: Your bed.

Hime, at the same time: By my side- wait, what?

—

Gojo: Are we fighting or flirting?

Hime, furious: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Gojo: Your point?

—

Hime: What are you in the mood for?

Sukuna: World domination.

Hime: That's a bit ambitious.

Sukuna: You are my world.

Hime: Aww...

Sukuna:

Hime:

Sukuna:

Hime: OH.

—

Hime: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sukuna: Marry me.

—

Hime: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Megumi: I'll contact the musicians.

Yuji: Perfect, while you guys do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Hime: ...

Megumi: ...

Hime: You mean ring bearER, right?

Yuji: ...

Megumi: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

—

Hime: Sukuna, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Sukuna, naked in Hime's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Hime, already taking off her clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

—

Sukuna: I want to kiss you.

Shisui, not paying attention: What?

Sukuna: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

—

Hime: Look, last night was a mistake.

Sukuna: A sexy mistake.

Hime: No, just a regular mistake.

—

Shisui: Sukuna and I are no longer friends.

Sukuna: SHISUI THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

—

Hime when she was stuck in the hot springs: Go fuck yourself!

Sukuna, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch.

—

Sukuna: Remember, melons, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Hime: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

—

Sukuna: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shisui: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Sukuna: ...

—

Hime: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Sukuna: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, melons.

—

Sukuna: Okay, but what if we went out to eat not as friends this time?

Shisui: AS ENEMIES?!

Sukuna:

—

Hime: We have a problem.

Sukuna: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

—

Hime in Bloodflood chapter 6: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Sukuna: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Hime: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

—

Hime: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Sukuna: Hime, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

—

Principal Yaga, going over Sukuna's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

Sukuna: Yes.

Principal Yaga: Okay... may I know what you create?

Sukuna: Problems.

—

Sukuna: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Hime: Twelve thousand, actually.

Sukuna: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Hime: Yours!

Sukuna: That's right: no one's.

—

Yuji: Okay, help me please!

Sukuna: Got two words for you.

Yuji: I bet they won't be helpful.

Sukuna: Your problem.

Yuji: I was right.

—

Shisui: Junichiro and I got married!!

Sukuna: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Hime: We have a problem. Sukuna: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

this is so funny cuz in bloodflood, he's literally gonna be the cause for 90% of her problems 😭